Zan - Enlightened Seduction - Vol 1 - The Way of the Natural

Zan – Enlightened Seduction (Vol 1) – The Way of the Natural Men that like women, are liked by women. They know what women universally respond to. He is not like other men, and women know it. Comfortable in the presence of women. A natural: Do I believe in women? Yes I do. Am I comfortable around women? Yes Do I flirt with women? Of course, all ages, shapes and sizes Have I dated beautiful women? Yes I have Have I had beautiful relationships with wonderful women? The best Have I slept with a lot of women? More than most I suppose Have I had threesomes? Hmmm Does that make me a natural? Can I extract a phone number from a girl at a club or a party? Yeah Can I extract the entire girl from the club or the party? Yeah, I suppose I can, but there are other guys better at it than me. I’m not a PUA. Can I take your woman away from you? Probably not, you’re a good bf or husband. Can I convince her to start a secret affair with me? Now that’s an entirely different question. I wouldn’t do of course, that’s not the way I do things. • • • • • • • • • •

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I’m a lover of beauty, art in all its forms. That attitude will make you more attractive to the other sex. Tactics and techniques are not everything. Within an hour your delight in her will create such a chemistry between the two of you. What interests me is the notion of  creating chemistry and amplifying attraction. Do I believe I can seduce any girl in the room? Yes I do. Am I always successful? Of  course not. My ability and my believe in my ability to seduce women is not related to my actual success. That attitude will take you very far. It is endearing to women, and there is no harm in it. It is a very fun and natural way to conduct your life. Naturals are not born with it. Every man good with women chose to be good with women. He decided to consciously get that part of his life happen. He listened to women, he tried and failed, but he retained the stuff that worked and discarded the things that didn’t. Why is it that some men and women have an aura or presence about them when they enter the room? They have more than self confidence, its an inner clarity and understanding. A centeredness, a purpose.

Ten traits to all natural seducers: 1. To a natural seducer they are all his girls. He has immense compassion for all women, he sees their loss, their dead and dying relationships, their sadness and he sees it as his mission to impart beauty to her life again. He does this with every woman. He makes her feel pretty, alive and inspired once again. He believes women deserve passion. It is his mission to correct this imbalance. Shakespeare wrote: “She’s beautiful and therefore to be wooed, she’s a woman and therefore to be won”. Most women are not completely single. Every women that is remotely okay to be with has a guy of some sort, it’s either her husbane, fiancée, boyfriend, guy she is seeing, guy she is kind of dating, a guy she is sleeping with or a guy that likes her and she tolerates, or a guy she can call. To wait for a girl to be completely single is to wait for a long time. The enlightened seducer know this and gives it no further thought. They are all his girls. It is his mission to make women feel beautiful again. In his presence she feels like woman. He shares the secret of women: they love men, they desire them, they desire sex as intimately and directly as any man. Yet sometimes they must disguise it. This is because of society. A women is complicit in her own seduction. She desires it. When you believe that, they start to believe it too. You don’t have to pick her up, she’s already your girl. You respect that she’s in a relationship, but she’s still your girl. 2. The power he has over a girl, lies in the power they have over him. That goes against over everything that ever has been thought. “I’m the prize”. Right… In theory that is correct. The notion of not being able to control your desire around her can be very seductive. Showing a little bit of  vulnerability around women. And they use it very consciously. He comes across as being delighted by women, that’s the way he is. Their essence enamors and enchants him and in return he can do nothing but celebrate them. He lets it be known that he genuinely likes her. And men that like women, are liked by women. The trick is not to overcompensate to be to vulnerable, don’t come across as inept, or e xtremely needy. Just occasionally flashes of vulnerability of non-smoothness. She might be intimidated. Otherwise it might be to smooth, she might reject you to prove a point, to bring you back to humanness again. The enlightened seducer enters into every romantic adventure with newness and excitement, like it’s his first love all over again. He knows that the impact that he makes on her, and that she makes on him, will resonate with the both of them for years. Will he be hurt? Will he feel pings of love when it ends? Of course, but he loves it all the same. He portrays an intense need for her, but he is not needy. He puts her on a pedestal, but it is a pedestal of his own choosing. I’m completely unrestrained with women, a slave to them, and they can sense it. The weakness of women is language and words, fortunately that is a skill that can be strengthened. I never ever worry about a woman’s resistance to me. If she says she’s not interested and leaves, I understand, but whenever I see her again I immediately go up to her, smile and wink and go right on where we left off,  just like she never resisted me in the first place, because that would be unthinkable. Her boyfriend objections mean nothing to me, they’re just words. Anybody that know me very well knows that I generally don’t play hard to get. I usually tell a girl straight out that I like her, I directly state my desires to her. The key is to say it with a smile and a wink in a way that conveys desire but gives her the impression that when she turns you off or

down you’re not going to worry about it for two seconds. She knows that you will simply walk away. When you pursue things further she will ask why you’re attracted to her. A normal guy will say: “oh you’ve got beautiful eyes”, this is what I do instead: cut her off in mid-sentence “listen, I’m starting to like you; you’re kinda cute”, “why are you so interested in me?”, “hmm, well, I’m stumped myself, that’s what I’m trying to find out myself!”. 3. He has a purpose in life that isn’t her. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t focus on her, or delight in her, but he’s going on an adventure in the jungle and he would love it if she came along, but if  she doesn’t, that’s okay. He’s sad and he’ll miss her, but he’ll go anyway. Most men make her the adventure. Women don’t want that. They don’t want to be the adventure, they want to go on an adventure, they want you to take them on an adventure, they want to be caught up in something that is larger than themselves, something that makes them escape their mundane existence. My attitude to women is along the lines of: “you know, you’re kinda hot, I think you’d make a good girlfriend for me. I may not be the one you’ll be with forever, but I’ll be the one you will always remember, I’ll take you on an adventure girl and I’d love for you to come, because you’re cute, but if not that’s okay. Remember you’ll always have a friend out there: me.”. The key here is that there are two ways to approach a girl: one is with self  confidence, the other with smug assumption. You can never let number 1 degrade into number 2. So no, whatever, I’m the prize, lot’s of women out there. Yes it’s true, it is her loss, cause you’re a nice guy, but it’s your loss too. You had all these plans, you were gonna take her everywhere, show her to all your friends, make her wear tight little skirts. It was great, you had it all figured out. 4. He realizes that honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac. His biggest fear is to be taken for just another man. He is not like other men, nor does he aspire to be. If he thought for a moment that she regretted her encounter with him in any way, or somehow felts sad or hurt because of him, it would break his heart, he couldn’t bear the thought that a girl would feel that she was manipulated by him. And yet he doesn’t mask his desires as a man, he never displays indifference or apathy in an attempt to sneak under the wire. Instead he embraces his sexuality and presents it to her without presumption, he’s delighted if she responds favorably, but dee ply respectful if  she does not. He would never lie to a girl to get her into bed, never. If a woman opens up to him physically and emotionally he doesn’t take that lightly. He has a lot of respect for that and he knows that he can do a lot of  damage by being dishonest, about his intentions or the future. You can hurt her heart, and she trusts you not to. A recurrent theme in my life is women telling me: “I can’t believe I just told you that, I just met that, I’ve never told that to anyone before”. That is because she knows I would never take advantage of her in any way. Never betray her confidentiality, never betray her in any way, never manipulate her in any way. She’s comfortable around me. “I can’t believe I just slept with you, on the first night that I met you”, I’ll ask: “why did you?” and she’ll say:  “I don’t know, you were just different”. Somehow she absolutely understands that I will respect her in the morning and that I have a very high regard for her and would like to experience all the delight that she has to offer and it’s not just about sex. Everything about her is delicious, I convey that to her, she picks up on it: I’m different than other men. With this honest, unthreatening, direct approach women will open right up. This makes the whole point of  waiting before you get intimate with her moot. I never felt that I went to fast,

neither does she. A woman knows within 5 minutes what I’m all about, she knows she can’t put me in the LJBF box, she doesn’t even try. I let her know my intentions right away. How do I let her know? I tell her straight away: “I’m not like other men”. She will believe you if you say it with sincerity and enough authority.  “Listen what you need to know about me is that I’m very honest, I might be one of the most honest guys you’ve ever met, I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I like you. And you know that if you hang out with me, you and I are going to be together. Feel that. I might not be the one you’ll be with forever, but I’ll be the one you’ll always remember.”  Honesty is the most important thing, it’s the biggest aphrodisiac. Having said that: I lie all the time, it is important to get caught in the lie the whole time. I  just tell a lie, let the girl catch me, and smile and wink at her. I always say things in a way that a girl can never be sure if I’m telling the truth or not.  “What sign are you?”, I’ll say: “guess”. I’ll say: “Wow, that’s amazing, how did you guess I’m a virgo?”, “really, I got it right? When’s your birthday?”, I’ll say “uh, December”, “you lied! You’re not a virgo!”, “I’m not?” *smile and wink at her*. “I knew you were lying”, she’s pretending to be offended by you. I’ll say: “Well, come here and give me a kiss and I’ll forgive you”, and she’ll be like: “but you’re the one that lied!”, “yeah, you’re right, buy me a drink and we’ll call it even”. That’s the kind of banter you want to get going, you want her to pretend she’s offended, then you are in. You’re honest but you kind of tell lies. Be very honest, but get caught telling lies. 5. He never kisses and tells. Ever. He feels no need to validate himself to other men by bragging about his exploits. His encounters with women are never about bolstering his own self  esteem, or adding another notch to his bedpost, it is all about respect. This is because he’s not interested in taking something from her, but always in sharing something with her. He knows that all experiences in life are amplified, once they are shared. If she doesn’t feel like a queen, he doesn’t feel like a king. He’s never out to get laid, his only desire is to interact with a beautiful woman. He believes that if a girl is comfortable enough to open up to him physically and emotionally it is a profound thing. If she tells other people however, that is very good, he has nothing to hide about his love for women. Why does an enlightened seducer never go around telling other people? Respect, respect for her. A man can sleep with lots of women and he’s a stud, a woman does this and she’s a slut. Unfair double standards. My friends ask me how my date went with a girl and I say: “It was really nice, I really like her”. My friends don’t even bother to ask. How do you let her know you don’t kiss and tell? Tell her “I’m very discrete”. If a woman says to me:  “Hey that was amazing”, I say: “Don’t tell me, tell all your friends!”. What is the reason a girl will give you last minute resistance? She thinks you won’t respect her in the morning and brag about it in the morning to all your friends. Girls have to worry about being too easy and their reputation, while men don’t have to. When a girl opens up to you physically that is a very profound thing, which cannot be taken lightly. You have to hold her and her emotions very carefully in your hand. Always leave her better off than you found her. That is true respect. A woman who senses this will open herself up to you in ways she never dreamed. She already likes you and she wants to be intimate with you, but she needs to feel that you respect her. A true seducer knows that if she feels nobody will ever find out she will open herself up to you. Some girls will arbitrarily want to wait a while before they sleep with you because of this (say 3 dates), but if I really like a girl, there’s no way I want

to wait that long to sleep with her. I always explain to a girl that I’m not content to just look at her and make no apologies for my desires as a man. I explain to her that I love life and have no desire to restrain my enthusiasm for life. Tell her something like this: “It is not in my nature to experience things only partially, I am a lover of life and I need to experience everything in it’s entirety. If I travel to another country I don’t stick to the tourist track, I can’t help but immerse myself fully in the culture, to absorb it through my skin, to live it, breathe it to fade into it. A woman to me is like a wine of the finest vintage, I can’t be content with just looking at it, I need to experience it at all levels, I need to smell it, draw in the exquisite bouquet, to carefully observe its clarity and color, its texture and nuance and finally I must drink it all in, savoring every drop, tasting it, experiencing it, breathing it, living it, fading into it”. Make no apologies for who you are. 6. He never defends himself, not from a reputation or from a challenge from her. If she challenges me by accusing me of being a player I laugh and say “so you do know who I am, you lied!”. When accused of being a player he neither confirms nor denies, he makes fun of the situation. You have no need to defend yourself, you know who you are. By defending yourself you validate it. Sample conversation: “I’m the most honest guy you ever met, I’m not like other guys you ever met. Most men will hide their natural impulses because they really like you and they want to give you a good impression. I don’t. The difference between me and them is that I really like you and I let it be known.” She’ll say something like “so you’re a player?”. “I never play with emotions, I desire you, I very much want you to stay, but if you go, I understand. Either way, you have my highest respect, but you should stay, you’re cute”. She’ll say something like “but I don’t want to be just another one of your girls”. “I understand. Listen, I like you a lot, I want to see you now and in the future. I can only promise you two things: 1) I will never lie to you, or play with your emotions and 2) I’ll take you higher than you’ve ever been”. An enlightened seducer knows the truth, he’ll never play with her emotions and because of that he’s at peace with himself. He has no need to apologize for the way he is, he loves women and doesn’t ask for sympathy, absolution or understanding for that fact. 7. He never takes himself, her or the situation seriously. He is not afraid to use self-deprecating humor. Everything is said with a smile and wink, like an inside secret that they both share. He laughs at himself will never cease to be amused. Girls are looking for guys who have the confidence to make fun of  themselves. We try to be too cool, to make jokes at other’s expense. If you can’t laugh at yourself you become arrogant. When you get rejected: “Oh man, I can never get girls” in a whiny voice, just make fun of the whole situation. No neurotic self-degrading humor, no putting yourself down! You should have enormous fun in life, with or without her, laughing at her and at yourself, it portrays confidence. It demonstrates that you are used to winning on a level that no amount of posing could ever do. 8. He realizes the massive importance of body language. Women are relying on their senses to assess us (55% body language, 3 8% tonality and voice), not what we say at all (only 7%). They decide whether they like us during the first 10 seconds. A man falls in love through his eyes, but a girl falls in love through her ears. The natural seducer focuses on her like there is no one else in the world. He is a master of his body language and voice tonality, he lea ns in to her, inviting her to share herself in return, he smiles with his eyes and his whole being (the aura that people give off). Eye contact is very important, we don’t use it enough. I always put my hand on the small of the back the

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