You CAN Heal With EFT

You CAN Heal with

(Emotional Freedom Techniques)

By Jo Hainsworth

“True emotional freedom is being able to be and do anything that you desire, from the bottom of your heart, to be and do.”

This e-book is available to be downloaded free from www.selfheal4me.com

Disclaimer: This book is not intended to be a substitute for the services of health care professionals. The author takes no responsibility for any consequences incurred by those using or misusing the information presented herein. Any application of the material set forth in the following pages is at the reader’s discretion and is his or her sole responsibility.

2008 This book has a heart symbol where you would normally find a copyright symbol. The heart symbolises the author’s gratitude for having healed using EFT and her desire for everyone who desires true emotional freedom to be empowered with the tools that can enable that. Please share this book with anyone you know who you think may benefit from it. It is available for download without charge from www.selfheal4me.com

This book is dedicated to my two doggie friends, without whom I may have never discovered the power of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). When first introduced to EFT, I was a real sceptic. I thought it was a strangely mechanical method unlikely to be of much use. When I rediscovered EFT a couple of years later, I was still very sceptical. I decided to put it to the test. Flop and Tuft were abandoned at around 4 months old. When I came to live with their adoptive Dad, they were terrified of going in the car. I wondered whether perhaps it was because they had been thrown out of a car when abandoned. I didn’t really expect it to work, but decided to use what I’d read about EFT for animals, to try to cure their fear of going in the car. Tuft became my first of what is known in EFT circles as a “One Minute Wonder”. After two rounds of tapping, I jokingly opened the back of the car and asked him if he’d like to go for a drive. He jumped in and, wagging his tail furiously, looked at me as if to say, “Well what are you waiting for?” Flop became my introduction to the world of aspects, and how it’s not all about one minute wonders. After a couple of weeks of tapping, clearing all the issues that I could think of, Flop started happily joining us on our adventures in the car. I will be forever grateful to my two doggies pals for opening my mind to the power of EFT. And to their Dad for introducing me to it (and them!).

Contents

Introduction............................................................................................................................................. 6 Setting the Scene – Symptoms as Warning Lights ......................................................................... 6 Section I – What is EFT?......................................................................................................................... 8 Introduction to EFT............................................................................................................................ 8 What can you use EFT for? ................................................................................................................ 8 How does EFT work? ......................................................................................................................... 9 Section II – How to do EFT.................................................................................................................. 11 The Basics.......................................................................................................................................... 11 Step 1 - Estimate severity ............................................................................................................ 11 Step 2 - The Setup Phrase............................................................................................................. 11 Step 3 - Tapping the points .......................................................................................................... 12 Step 4 – Continuation ................................................................................................................... 13 Alternatives to Tapping................................................................................................................... 13 But that’s way too simple… ............................................................................................................ 13 Simple and Powerful Method for working alone....................................................................... 14 How long should I tap for? ............................................................................................................. 14 The Generalisation Effect and the Table Top............................................................................... 16 9 Gamut process ............................................................................................................................... 17 The Choices Method........................................................................................................................ 18 The Writing on our Walls................................................................................................................ 18 Specific uses for EFT........................................................................................................................ 18 Using EFT with Physical Illnesses ............................................................................................... 18 Using EFT to Lose Weight............................................................................................................ 18 Using EFT to Stop Smoking ......................................................................................................... 18 Using EFT to heal Chronic Physical Pain.................................................................................... 19 Using EFT for Depression ............................................................................................................ 19 Using EFT to heal a Major Trauma.............................................................................................. 19 Using EFT for Phobias.................................................................................................................. 21 Using EFT for Kids and Animals................................................................................................. 22 Using EFT for Hayfever and Allergies........................................................................................ 22 Section III - When EFT is Not Working ............................................................................................ 23 Common Challenges........................................................................................................................ 23 Why aren’t I a one minute wonder? ............................................................................................... 24 When you want to heal but… ......................................................................................................... 24 It’s just not working for me…......................................................................................................... 26 Concentrating too hard ................................................................................................................ 26 But I don’t love and accept myself .............................................................................................. 27 I just want to get rid of this .......................................................................................................... 27 Not feeling safe enough to heal ................................................................................................... 28 Escaping into our imagination..................................................................................................... 28 Need for Testing ........................................................................................................................... 29 I’m tapping and it’s getting worse, not better… ........................................................................... 29 Using the Choices Method to clear Blocks .................................................................................... 29 Forgiveness as Healer ...................................................................................................................... 30 A word about guilt........................................................................................................................... 32 When nothing else is working........................................................................................................ 32 Section IV - Why I am so passionate about EFT................................................................................ 34 Section V – Reflections on Healing Chronic Illnesses & Patterns .................................................. 36 Section VI – Where to Learn More...................................................................................................... 38 Section VII - About the Author and Acknowledgments.................................................................. 39 Section VIII - Appendices.................................................................................................................... 40

Appendix A - The Tearless Trauma Technique............................................................................ 40 Appendix B: The "Tell the Story Technique” ............................................................................... 41 Appendix C: The Movie Technique: A tool for being specific .................................................. 43 Appendix D: Asking the Right Questions ................................................................................... 45 Appendix E: Questions to Ask for Physical Symptoms.............................................................. 48 Appendix F: Dr Carol Look’s Compulsive Overeating and Weight Loss Protocol.................. 51 Appendix G: Dr Carol Look Stop Smoking Protocol................................................................... 55 Appendix H: Clearing Blocks to EFT ............................................................................................. 57 Appendix I: Finding Core Issues.................................................................................................... 59 Appendix J - Resolving Self Sabotage - Healing Parts That Don't Want to Heal ..................... 61 Appendix K – Tips for when you are having difficulty accessing your feelings...................... 63 Appendix L – The Benefits of having a Healing Buddy .............................................................. 65 Appendix M – Surrogate Tapping.................................................................................................. 67 Appendix N – Difficulty using SUDs Scale.................................................................................. 69 Appendix O – Sample Self Healing Session................................................................................. 70 Appendix P – A Structure for Healing - The Personal Peace Procedure .................................... 74 Appendix Q – Healing and the Inner Child.................................................................................. 78 Appendix R – When it’s just too scary to go there….................................................................... 80 Appendix S – Aspects Diagram ...................................................................................................... 82 Appendix T – EFT Approaches – How to be your own creative practitioner ............................ 84

Note: All the articles sourced from www.emofree.com are included in this book in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm.

You CAN Heal with EFT

Introduction This book contains information about a powerful method of healing that you can learn to free yourself of painful emotions and physical symptoms. If you want to gain an overview, or find information on a particular topic, you can simply print the sections that you are interested in. For ongoing reference, print and bind the whole book to refer to over time so that you can continue to add to your knowledge about and experience with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). If you are new to EFT it is recommended that you read Sections I & II to start off with, and only read the other sections once you have used the basics a few times and are comfortable with them. EFT is both an incredibly simple and a more complex tool. In many cases the simple instructions are all that is required to resolve issues. Section I II

Title Introduction What is EFT? How to do EFT

III

When EFT is not Working

IV V

Why I am so Passionate about EFT Reflections on Healing

VI

Where to Learn More

VII

About the Author & Acknowledgments Appendices

VIII

Description Important information to set the scene An overview of what EFT is and what it can be used for All you need to get up and running with the basics of EFT, and ideas for using it for different types of issues Information on how to approach EFT if you have been using the basic information and are having difficulties The author’s story of her healing a chronic physical illness and other issues with EFT Discussion on other ingredients often needed in our healing toolkit, alongside of EFT Information on where you can access further free resources to learn more about EFT About the Author notes and Acknowledgments Various articles referred to throughout the main text of the book

Note that if you reading online you can click on any Blue Highlighted words to go directly to the section mentioned. If you are reading a paper copy you will find all the highlighted words on the contents page, with a page number reference. Setting the Scene – Symptoms as Warning Lights It can be helpful when learning about any new method to set the context of what we are trying to achieve with it. Most people come to a technique such as this because there is something in their life which is not working the way they want it to; be it physical symptoms, depression, a lack of something they want in their life or one of the myriad of the other challenges we face in our daily lives. One helpful analogy is to see anything in our life that is not as we wish it to be as being like a warning light on a car dashboard. If you have a warning light coming on in your car regularly and take the car to the mechanic, the last thing that you would want the mechanic to do would be to disable the warning light mechanism. Unfortunately when we take painkillers or some other medication on a regular basis, without doing something to heal the cause of the symptoms, that is exactly what we are doing in our bodies – we are simply disabling the warning light that is there to tell us that there is something wrong. Rather than working on disabling the warning light EFT, is a method which enables you to do for your body what you would expect the mechanic to do for your car – to get under the covers and resolve what is causing the symptom to appear. So rather than simply doing something to make the symptom go away, EFT gives us the tools to clear the underlying emotional causes of the symptoms, so that they are no longer needed. Seeing symptoms, whether physical such as pain or illness, or other symptoms like anxiety and depression, as warning lights on a dashboard is a new way of looking at them for many people, however it is a powerful way to orient ourselves to true healing. -6-

You CAN Heal with EFT

It can be difficult to comprehend that physical symptoms could have emotional causes, so here are a couple of examples to illustrate how EFT enables us to get behind the cause of a symptom: Strawberry Allergy Two young children, who previously loved eating strawberries, suddenly developed an allergy to them. Their mother took them to see an EFT practitioner as she wasn’t sure what had caused it. She suspected that the strawberries might have been sprayed with something toxic, and that perhaps that might have caused her children to no longer be able to eat them without their lips and gums swelling, causing them to no longer want to eat strawberries. On questioning the mother about when the strawberry allergy appeared, and then what was happening in the family at around that time, the mother realised that the very first time the children reacted to strawberries was after eating them while the parents were having a huge argument. The practitioner had the mother tap for the children on the fear and worries that were caused due to them witnessing the argument, and from then on the children could once again enjoy strawberries without any reaction. Back Pain In a case reported in the EFT newsletter Jasmine Bharathan narrates the following: Here is a stunning account of how EFT can be helpful even in a structural problem. As a result of an accident around 8 years back, my client was completely bed-ridden and paralyzed from the hip down for a year and a half. After 3 months of Homeopathic treatment, he was able to walk; however, he suffered from constant agonizing pain in his lower back. An MRI scan of Lumbo-Sacral spine showed partial destruction of lower discs in the spine and even some compression of a nerve root due to narrowing of the spinal pathways. He was keen on trying EFT for the pain as he was unable to sit on a chair, could not bend down to pick up anything from the floor, had great difficulty getting into a car- in short, constant, agonizing pain- day and night with no respite at all. Jasmine goes on to detail the things they applied EFT to, which included: • The physical symptoms of the pain • Current emotions about the pain, including his anxieties about what would happen in the future if it continued • Specific events from the client’s past on the theme of his current emotions • The client’s beliefs about the pain Jasmine then writes: He has been pain-free since then! It has been a year and a half. He ran 6 km at the local marathon with absolutely no pain or discomfort! I checked with him just before submitting this article and he continues to be pain-free. His x-ray to date shows no further damage or destruction. In fact, there is no change at all. This was a structural problem and was “supposed to cause pain”. However, the gentleman is living a completely pain-free life enjoying easy and effortless movements in daily living. He continues to treat his back with love and care although it does not hurt anymore. (Source: http://www.emofree.com/Pain-management/back-pain-no-pain.htm) This is a typical example of where EFT has been able to help someone with a physical issue, which clearly had a physical origin (an accident). In many cases despite surgery and medication, until the emotions around an incident such as this are resolved, pain continues. After the emotions have been resolved, despite the physical abnormalities caused by the accident sometimes remaining, the pain ceases. -7-

You CAN Heal with EFT

Section I – What is EFT? Introduction to EFT Based on the same ancient principles as acupuncture, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a simple method where we focus on an issue in our life while tapping gently on easily accessible acupuncture points on our face and upper body and hands. EFT can help us to heal from traumas, physical illnesses, phobias, limiting beliefs, allergies – in short anything that we can possibly have a belief or emotion associated to. EFT was introduced in 1995 by Gary Craig, a Stanford engineering graduate who trained in several methods that were predecessors of EFT. One of the methods was developed by psychologist Roger Callahan. Here’s how Gary describes what lead to Callahan developing his method (Source: the free EFT manual available from www.emofree.com) : In 1980 Dr Roger Callahan was working with a patient, Mary, for an intense water phobia. She suffered from frequent headaches and terrifying nightmares, both of which were related to her fear of water. To seek help, she had been going from therapist to therapist for years… with no material improvement. Dr Callahan tried to help her by conventional means for a year and a half. He didn’t make much headway either. Then one day he stepped outside the normal “boundaries” of psychotherapy. Out of curiosity, he had been studying the body’s energy system and decided to tap with his fingertips under her eyes (an end point of the stomach meridian). This was prompted by her complaint of some stomach discomfort. To his astonishment, she announced immediately that her phobia was gone and she raced down to a nearby swimming pool and began throwing water in her face. No fear. No headaches. It all went away… including the nightmares. And it has never returned. She is totally free of her water phobia.” Many people feel uncomfortable with methods that have not yet had a lot of scientific studies done to prove that they work. Studies have shown that only around 14% the population are able to embrace new methods, with most preferring to wait until they have been proven over time. Fortunately for all of us who are suffering from the pain of past traumas and current physical illnesses, Gary and Roger and countless other practitioners and self helpers have used EFT for all manner of issues, and shown time and time again that it is an extremely simple to learn and very effective method. While studies over the longer term are important and planned (see http://soulmedicineinstitute.org/researcheft.html#AnchorThe-49575 for details), there are many of us who are very thankful for having been able to use EFT to heal minor and major emotional and physical issues in our lives, despite the current lack of scientific studies or explanations as to how it is that it works at all, let alone so effectively. What can you use EFT for? EFT can assist you in any area of your life where you don’t have true emotional freedom. True emotional freedom is being able to be and do anything that you desire, from the bottom of your heart, to be and do. Anything that stands in the way of that is limiting your emotional freedom, and is a candidate for EFT. An example of where EFT is really leading the way is working with war veterans who have been crippled by nightmares and horrendous memories for 30 – 40 years, who with the help of EFT, are finding true emotional freedom and being able to move on from the trauma that they have suffered. Many of these veterans have been in conventional therapy for decades without being able to resolve the issues, and have found freedom from them using EFT. There can be a tendency to think that EFT can only heal what are obviously emotional issues, such as with those suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). However it is being shown time and again that unresolved emotions play a major factor in physical illness and many people have completely healed physical illnesses as a result of using the tapping. As we find emotional freedom we tend to find freedom from what restricts us and causes us pain physically at the same time. See the Introduction for a couple of specific examples. -8-

You CAN Heal with EFT

A common phrase in EFT circles is “Try it on Everything”, because as we do that, we discover more and more uses for EFT. EFT can assist with a wide range of emotional and physical issues, including: • • • • • • • • • • • •

Fears & Phobias Emotional/Physical/Sexual Abuse Stress & Anxiety Trauma Headaches & Migraines Allergies & Sensitivities Addictions Weight Issues Financial Blocks Relationship Issues Self Esteem Issues Sleep Issues

EFT has been shown over and over again to be useful in areas where people have been searching for answers for a long time, or who are resigned to never being able to move on from trauma so big that they cannot see a way forward. For example, it has helped people to heal the emotional components of cancer, which has resulted in them healing physically as well; many people have healed the wounds of childhood abuse; and many have healed from PTSD after years and years of disabling memories and emotions as a result of something too big for them to handle. If you would like to read an example of how EFT has helped someone to heal a chronic illness see Section IV - Why I am so Passionate about EFT. You can also read many, many case studies of people who have healed from all sorts of challenges by using EFT at www.emofree.com. How does EFT work? The short answer is that we still don’t really know for sure! However since most of us also don’t really understand how electricity works, and yet we learn as a result of the light coming on when we flick the switch that it does, that needn’t stand in the way of us using it. EFT is based on the foundational statement that: “The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system.” We have many channels of energy that run throughout our bodies, the channels that, using acupuncture, are unblocked via inserting needles into certain points along the channel. Whenever we suffer something too difficult for us to resolve emotionally it can result in a disruption in the free flow of energy throughout these channels. If blockages to the flow remain over many years physical illness can result. Clearing the blockages allows us to release all the pent up emotions that we were unable to process at the time of the event and doing so often results in healing of any physical illnesses that the stress contributed to. An alternative to inserting needles into the acupuncture points to clear the blockages is gently tapping on the points while using the EFT procedure. While acupuncture is an excellent method, it takes many years to learn. One of the advantages of EFT is that it is very simple and quick to learn, and can in many cases be applied as a self help tool without assistance from a trained practitioner. In some cases EFT is also able to assist someone to heal even though they have previously had acupuncture treatments with no success.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

Fortunately we don’t really need to understand how EFT works to be able to get up and running with it. If however you have a burning desire to understand more of the theories behind how it works, you can read some of the (very technical) articles on the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology site at: (http://www.energypsych.org/displaycommon.cfm?an=1&subarticlenbr=85). If you would like to read results of some of the preliminary research into the Energy Psychology methods (the group of methods that EFT falls into), you can read “Energy Psychology – A Review of the Preliminary Evidence by David Feinstein, Ph.D (http://www.innersource.net/energy_psych/epi_research.htm). Doesn’t it just stir up old stuff better left alone? A common response to EFT goes along the lines of, “Doesn’t this dredging for old emotional wounds just stir stuff up that is better left alone?” It is important to address this up front for anyone considering EFT who has this concern. To answer it is important to look at it from two angles: 1.

With EFT there is no need to “dredge up” old emotional stuff. We simply tap on the current challenges we face and follow the trail of what comes up. Where we need to we ask ourselves what the earliest memory of feeling like this is, in order to be able to tap on specific events and memories that could be contributing to our current challenges. As we do this there is no need to re-experience the old emotions, we are simply tapping on the events to clear them. If you find it difficult to do this without being upset by old emotions surfacing read the section on Healing a Major Trauma.

2.

It is very common for us to believe that we have dealt with something already, and because we are not consciously aware of it still causing us challenges, that it would be better left alone. Unfortunately our conscious mind is only aware of a fraction of what our subconscious mind stores for us, so our not being consciously aware of a problem does not mean that there isn’t one. It is very common when tapping to find old memories surfacing that we thought we had dealt with, that in actual fact still have an emotional charge. When the emotions that we were not able to process around the event are still stored in our subconscious mind and body, they have a tendency to cause us to react to things in our lives or experience emotions, despite us not realising what is going on. When we clear the emotional component of these old events they are no longer able to dominate our emotional landscape, and we become free to live with true joy. It is interesting to note that those with serious auto-immune illnesses, by way of example, tend to be people with high levels of emotional trauma in their early childhoods. While this is an extreme example of how unprocessed emotions continue to haunt us until we clear them, by showing up as physical examples, this can be a factor for all of us with the everyday challenges we faced growing up, which can eventually manifest as symptoms in our bodies.

An example of this can be seen in the author’s own life: When I heard on an EFT training DVD that allergies are often caused by not feeling safe in the world, I struggled to comprehend how this could be relevant to me. I had been on large amounts of prescribed medication over many years as a child and teenager, and I was convinced that my allergic reactions were a result of damage done to my immune system by both the illness and the drugs I took in an attempt to heal. I had no conscious awareness of not feeling safe in the world, and basically wrote this off as being irrelevant. A little while later, while tapping on something unrelated, I remembered my mother saying that I was born in a lot of distress, and I wondered whether perhaps I might have arrived into the world feeling unsafe. When I tapped on my birth I had no conscious memories of it (obviously!) and felt that it was a waste of time. However while tapping I felt a lot of emotions surface and resolve, and the end result was that I have not had an allergic reaction to anything in the 18 months since (and in the past I reacted severely to a lot of different foods and chemicals.) (To read more about this see Section IV - Why I am Passionate about EFT.)

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You CAN Heal with EFT

Section II – How to do EFT The Basics There are four main parts to the EFT process, and it’s really important not to skip any parts when you are first starting. The method presented here is the shortcut method, there is a longer method that you can learn from the free EFT manual at www.emofree.com if you want to, but practitioners rarely use it now, and find the shortcut just as effective in most cases. If you would like to watch a short demonstration of the tapping sequence you can watch EFT Master Judy Byrne demonstrating the sequence at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b15Zhu6fEdg If you would like to tap along with some audio files with the author leading you through the process, to help you to learn it, after reading the basics below you can download and listen to four short files from http://www.selfheal4me.com/Books.php Step 1 - Estimate severity It’s a good idea to start by estimating the severity of the problem on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being serious distress or pain, and 0 none. A lot of people get hung up on this but it’s just the first number that comes into your mind, as a benchmark so you can see if it’s going down. For more detail on this if required, see Appendix N. Step 2 - The Setup Phrase We all have aspects of our subconscious that are not ready to heal, because part of us thinks it’s safer to stay as we are. The setup phrase is designed to help all parts of us to be ready to heal. (Note that this concept is covered in more depth in the section entitled When you want to heal but… When first learning EFT the best thing to do is just use the standard phrase and see what happens when you do the tapping. You will only need to explore this further if you find that the standard approach is not clearing issues for you quickly.) With the setup phrase, you tap on the Karate Chop point (see picture on next page) with the index and middle fingers of your dominant hand (or any other way that feels right), while you say (preferably out loud, but in your mind if necessary): “Even though I have I completely love and accept myself” 3 times For example “Even though I have this throbbing pain in my lower back, I completely love and accept myself.” Or “Even though I have this fear of heights, I completely love and accept myself”. This is often an important step. Some people want to miss it out because they feel its crazy accepting something they don’t want, but if we don’t accept ourselves the way we are, we often can’t get to where we want to go. It is also really important to be as specific as possible with this. So for instance, instead of “this pain in my back”, describe it as exactly as you can, for example “this throbbing and pulsing pain in the centre of my lower back” etc. If you find yourself very resistant to saying “I completely love and accept myself” read Appendix H and try the process there.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

Step 3 - Tapping the points Now go through and tap each of the spots in the diagram below, about 5 to 7 times on each spot, while saying at each spot. For example, “this throbbing lower back pain” or “this fear of heights”. Note that the points start at the top of the head and then you move sequentially down the body, finishing under the arm. (The gamut point is for another process detailed later in the book). Alternatively some people like to start with the eyebrow point and finish by coming back up to the top of the head. Either way is fine. Top of head - the highest point if you trace your finger up the midline from your nose

End of eyebrow

Side of eye (on bone) Under eye (on bone directly under pupil)

Under nose Chin (midway between bottom lip & chin)

Collarbone (the junction where the sternum, collarbone and 1st rib meet

Under arm (on side of body, at a point even with nipple (for men) or in the middle of bra strap (for women)

Gamut (see text for description)

Karate point (anywhere on part of hand you would do a karate chop with)

Note that once you have mastered the basic tapping sequence, you don’t have to stick with saying the same thing on each point. You can simply say however it is that you are feeling about the issue as you tap through the points. Say whatever comes to mind, and really let yourself go with the flow. - 12 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

Important: As you are tapping on the points, be mindful of any memories or emotions or thoughts or feelings in your body that surface, and incorporate them with either the current or the next round of tapping. As we tap our subconscious mind often gives us clues on what we need to tap on next, and even if they initially seem unrelated, it pays to trust that they have come up for a reason and tapping on them will most likely be useful. Step 4 – Continuation Now you estimate the severity again, and if it has gone down, but isn’t zero, you do another round, but for this and any subsequent rounds you adjust the wording as follows: For the setup phrase it becomes “Even though I still have some of , I completely love and accept myself”, and the reminder phrase becomes “remaining ” (each time with replaced with your specific pain or fear etc). So to continue the above example you would tap on the karate point with: “Even though I still have this throbbing pain in my lower back, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”. Then continue as above with all the tapping points, saying “this remaining throbbing lower back pain”, and keep going until it’s down to 0, which often only takes one or two rounds. Be sure to incorporate any memories, thoughts, emotions or feelings in your body that come up as you are tapping, into the current or subsequent rounds. Alternatives to Tapping In some situations it is easier to use the Touch and Breathe Method instead of tapping. To do this simply touch each point with your fingertips and take a deep breath, as you go through the sequence. Another alternative that is particularly useful if you are in a public place is to simply imagine that you are tapping on the points. Studies have shown that the same parts in the brain light up whether you are actually doing a particular activity or simply imagining yourself doing it. It can be useful to do the tapping physically several times before trying this technique, so that the body already knows the activity. But that’s way too simple… Many of us tend to write the simple off as not being powerful enough to really help us. The author was guilty of this the first time she was introduced to EFT, and is so incredibly thankful that she had an opportunity to revisit it several years later. After searching for many more answers to her chronic illness in the intervening years, three sessions of EFT, without the assistance of a practitioner, completely resolved her physical illness! If you would like to learn more from this story see Section IV Why I am so Passionate about EFT. When we first learn EFT many of us tend to be concerned about what language we should use for the part to replace in the standard phrase. It is important to understand how EFT works and then you can relax when it comes to the language you use. EFT works by you tuning in to an issue in your life, and tapping while you tune in to it. The words that we use in the tapping phrases are simply to help you to tune into the issue. We generally do the setup phrase just to be sure that we are ready to heal, however in a lot of cases this isn’t necessary. It is generally quicker to do the setup at the start of each round than to use a method to determine whether or not it is required. If something has just happened that has made you very angry, it pays to still say the setup statement to be sure that all parts of you are ready to heal, but as you will already be tuned in to the issue, it’s likely that you won’t need a reminder phrase. By simply tapping you will probably clear the blockages associated with it. If however you are not really tuned into an issue when you tap on it, the phrases help you to tune in to what you want to work on.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

It can be really helpful to have a couple of sessions with an experienced EFT practitioner by phone or in person to get up and running with EFT, however this is often not necessary at all. One of the great benefits of working with a good EFT practitioner is simply that you will realise that more often than not, all they are doing is taking the words you said to them and reflecting them back to you as tapping phrases. (See Appendix L for helpful ideas for when you can’t work with a practitioner.) Simple and Powerful Method for working alone For a simple way to start working on your own, sit down and write all you can think of about an issue, as if you are describing it to an EFT practitioner who doesn’t know anything about you. Write everything you know about the issue, using the following questions as guidelines of areas to explore: • Describe the challenge you are having in as much detail as you can • How does it feel to have this challenge in your life? • What is your theory as to why you still have this challenge in your life? • When did the problem first occur in your life? • What was happening at that time (see above question)? • What fears, worries or concerns do you have in relation to this issue? • Is there anything else that comes to mind as you write about this that you could include? The next step is to take every sentence you have written and turn it into a tapping statement as detailed above (simply add “Even though” to the start of each sentence, and “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” to the end of each sentence). Then look through the sentences and group them into groups of up to three statements that seem to go together, and tap through each group, being sure to note what comes to mind as you are tapping and incorporate that into the tapping. This can be a very simple and powerful way to do your own healing. How long should I tap for? A common question when someone first learns EFT is, “How long should I tap for on each issue?” The answer to this is basically as long as you need in order to clear the issue*, however simply tapping the same thing over and over when you aren’t seeing any movement isn’t the most effective way to work. If you have a forest full of trees that you want to cut down and you are trying to fell them with a blunt saw, it will be hard work and slow going. Just as with cutting down trees it pays to stop and sharpen a blunt saw, the same applies to EFT – if you have been tapping several rounds on something and the intensity isn’t coming down, it pays to stop and “sharpen the saw”. There are several ways you can do this: 1. Ask yourself whether you are being specific enough. If you are tapping on a very global issue (for example, “Even though I have bad self-esteem…”), it’s often the equivalent of trying to cut down a tree with a blunt saw. Make your phrases more specific and you may find yourself making much quicker progress. 2. Is the setup statement working for you? When you tap with “and I deeply and completely love and accept myself”, does it feel OK, or are you finding major resistance and a feeling that you are just saying the words but don’t really buy into them? If the latter, try the process in Appendix H “Clearing Blocks to EFT”. 3. If you’ve been tapping through various aspects of an issue over a period of time and are finding that the issue itself just doesn’t seem to be budging, try reading the Common Challenges section to find some new approaches. 4. Some long term issues really hang in there and it just requires persistence to keep tapping and keep dealing with aspects. In this case it can be useful to tap three times a day on the issue for a while and watch how things change over time. Consider doing an Aspect Diagram in this case. 5. Remember to listen to your body to know when you’ve done enough tapping for the particular session. If you are feeling tired, it may be that you need to rest to integrate the changes taking place in your body as a result of the tapping that you have done. * If you aren’t sure how to know whether or not you are clear on an issue, see the discussion on Need for Testing. - 14 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

Tapping Tips The most important thing with EFT is that you tune into the issue you want to work on and you tap. If you have any concerns about being able to do this, then use that as the focus of your initial tapping statement (“Even though I’m worried I’m going to do this wrong, and I won’t be able to find the right words, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.”) The more you can be aware of the subtle thoughts going through your mind surrounding the healing of the issue you are working with, the more you will be able to shine the light of EFT on them and move forward with greater emotional freedom. It is also important to remember that while we like to think that our conscious mind can resolve everything, that is not in fact the case. If it was, no-one would be reading this book! As we work with EFT we learn to respect the immense power of our subconscious, which stores so much information for us, information that our conscious mind cannot possibly process in it’s entirety in each moment. With EFT this translates to needing to be open to things arising into your mind that you may not have previously been aware of, which could hold the keys to your resolving the issue you are working on. The reason you are having difficulty moving on from some event, or have a physical symptom, may well be entirely different to what you consciously believe it is! Here are some tips on getting the most from your tapping: • Be as specific as you can. Instead of tapping with “this pain in my back”, describe it as specifically as you can, for example “this throbbing pain in the bottom left side of my spine…” Instead of “low self-esteem”, tap on specific examples of things in your life that could have contributed to this issue, like “my teacher told me I was hopeless in front of the class when I was 7”. It may be helpful to do an Aspects Diagram for the issue (see Table Top and Appendix S for more information.) • If you were just starting mountain climbing, you probably wouldn’t take Everest on with your first climb. As with any new skill it pays to start with smaller more manageable issues and gain confidence as you see things changing, instead of starting with the biggest issue in your life. • There can be many aspects to some issues, and some people stop after a few rounds and say it’s just not working. That usually just means you haven’t got to the core of the issue and need to keep searching for it. Simply tap on whatever comes up, knowing that as you follow the trail, you will uncover the aspects that need to be addressed. • If you are working on something physical you may need to find the emotions or beliefs associated with it. Doing this can be a real art. There are some very effective questions in Appendix D and Appendix E which could help you to find the issues to tap on if you are working on your own. If you are having difficulty with this, try posting a question on the emofree forums to see if one of the practitioners or people using EFT for themselves can help you out. (http://www.emofree.com/forum_landing.htm) Sometimes no matter how much we want to, we cannot see what is in our blind spot without help. • When working with physical symptoms, including pain, a common phenomenon is to find that the symptoms or pain move to a new area in the body as you tap. This is known as “Chasing the pain” and is a very good sign. If you had a throbbing head and a slightly aching tooth, you may well not have even noticed the aching tooth until the headache diminished. As you remove the pain in the head, the toothache will come to the forefront of your attention. Simply keep tapping until you no longer have symptoms or pain coming to your attention. • If you are having difficulty clearing issues, see Section III – When EFT is not Working • Sometimes people have great success with EFT then just suddenly stop using it. This is sometimes to do with that part of them that doesn’t feel ready to heal. A good way to deal with this is to tap on “Even though I don’t want to do EFT right now…” Many people using EFT for their own healing have used EFT to get past this and go on to incorporate EFT really successfully into their daily lives, whenever they need it. • If you would like a structured approach to healing, the Personal Peace Procedure is excellent for giving us some structure to work through. You can find the PPP in Appendix P. Alternatively you could pick one of the items on the summary to EFT Approaches in Appendix T. • Remember that persistence pays off! - 15 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

The Generalisation Effect and the Table Top Often when we start tapping on an issue, we start with something very global, like “Even though I have low self-esteem”. Sometimes we are lucky and the issue collapses with the global tapping, but in many cases with long term issues that have many aspects, this global tapping is insufficient to clear the whole issue. A metaphor that Gary Craig uses to explain this is the “Table Top”. Imagine that the issue you are working on is a table top, which can only stay up if supported by a certain number of legs under the table. With the self esteem example the table top may be “I have low self esteem”. You could pound on the top of a table for decades and still not cause the table to collapse. However, if you sawed off a leg or two (depending on how many legs there are holding the table up), the whole table top would crash down. It’s the same with the issue of self esteem – the table top of low self esteem is being held up by a number of specific events that happened earlier in your life, which resulted in your low self esteem. Simply tapping on “Even though I have low self esteem…” can be like pounding on the top of the table. A far more effective way of working with EFT is to find the legs that are holding the table top up, and collapse them one by one. So you would ask yourself, “What is my earliest memory of feeling bad about myself?” and work on whatever memory comes to mind. There are two important things to note about this metaphor: 1.

Simply tapping a little on each memory or event without completely clearing the emotional charges associated with it is like sawing a little off the bottom of each table leg – the table top is still supported, and the table doesn’t fall. Lowering the emotional charge a little on several events is not as effective as completely clearing one event.

2.

There can be a tendency to think that because some issues have many, many events holding them in place, no matter how much tapping you do on an issue, like low self esteem for example, you’ll never clear it. Fortunately there is something in EFT known as the Generalisation Effect whereby once we’ve cleared a certain number of the events holding the issue in place, all the rest of the events seem to clear with them. There is no way to know how many events need to be cleared to heal a certain issue, but it is usually only a handful of them, and even in the case of major issues is rarely more than 5 to 20 events. A good example of this is some war veterans’ who had hundreds of very traumatic memories, none of which caused upset any longer after tapping on and clearing 3 or 4 specific events.

Another way of looking at this is to draw a comparison with gardening. If you have an overgrown area of your garden in which many weeds are competing with each other, and you want to grow flowers there, simply chopping the tops off some or all of the weeds will not enable you to successfully grow the flowers. However if you pull the biggest weeds out, roots and all, they will not only not grow back, but most likely you will find a whole lot of small weeds come out with the big weeds as you remove them. With EFT, simply tapping a little on a wide range of issues is like chopping the tops off the weeds, they just grow back. If instead you can work on specific events that resulted in the challenge you face, you will find yourself making lasting progress much more rapidly. Like with targeting the biggest weeds in the garden, it pays to target the biggest contributors to the issue in your life, which tend to be the earliest memories you have associated with the challenge. A good example of this can be seen in the EFT Course DVDs, where a woman works with Gary tapping on the earliest memory she had of ongoing sexual abuse, and after clearing that memory (which was very traumatic to her and caused her to be so upset she couldn’t say the words as she tapped), she was unable to get upset thinking about any further instances of the abuse. (Note that in this case Gary was working quickly on the side of the stage at a conference and did not have the luxury of time to approach it more gently. When working on your own or with a practitioner, you do not need to work in a way that results in you becoming upset by thinking about the specific memories. See the section on Using EFT to heal a major trauma for more information on this.) - 16 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

9 Gamut process The 9 gamut process is a part of the long form of EFT that was originally taught, which is not used a lot these days. However this process can be very powerful in removing all the links in our brain to traumatic events, and some practitioners believe it is very important to perform this process when clearing traumatic events. The most common initial reaction to the process is that it is too complicated, but once you’ve done it one or two times, you soon get the hang of it. The second most common reaction is that it just seems too strange to even consider! The process involves moving your eyes in certain directions, counting, and humming, and does seem rather strange. It is designed to activate the left and right hemispheres of the brain, and to clear all the different areas of the brain, as you perform the actions while simultaneously tapping on the gamut point (see below) and tuning in to the issue. The gamut point is on the back of either hand and is 1/2 inch behind the midpoint between the knuckles at the base of the ring finger and the little finger. If you draw an imaginary line between the knuckles at the base of the ring finger and little finger and consider that line to be the base of an equilateral triangle whose other sides converge to a point (apex) in the direction of the wrist, then the gamut point would be located at the apex of the triangle. (See diagram of tapping points.) In most cases you will find that this process is not necessary. If however you are finding an issue is taking a long time to clear, it would be well worth trying. As you follow the directions, take your time, tapping gently and spending several seconds on each step, and making sure that as you move to each step you bring the issue to mind again to tune in to it. Here are the 9 steps which are done, while simultaneously tapping on the gamut point and tuning in to the issue: 1.

Close your eyes.

2.

Open your eyes.

3.

Turn your eyes hard down right while holding the head steady.

4.

Turn eyes hard down left while holding the head steady.

5.

Roll eyes in a circle as though your nose was at the center of a clock and you were trying to see all the numbers in order.

6.

Same as #5 only reverse the direction in which you roll your eyes.

7.

Hum 2 seconds of a song (suggest Happy Birthday).

8.

Count from 1 to 5.

9.

Hum 2 seconds of a song again.

If you find that you are clearing issues without using the 9 gamut process, then there is no need to use it at all. If however you are having difficulty clearing something, or are working with a very traumatic event, it is recommended that you try this process. If you haven’t done it before, or are having trouble remembering the 9 steps while being tuned in to the issue you are working with, you can follow an audio file with the author leading you through the process. The file can be downloaded from http://www.selfheal4me.com/Books.php.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

The Choices Method Dr Patricia Carrington has developed a variant of EFT that is used widely by practitioners and those using EFT for themselves, and is highly endorsed by the creator of EFT, Gary Craig. With this method, the setup statement is modified, and in place of the “I deeply and completely love and accept myself”, we use a choice that reflects where we would like to be with the issue. For example, if you are upset about something, and want to be able to calm down and move on from it, you could tap on the karate point with: “Even though I’m so upset about this I can hardly think straight, I choose to relax, breath deeply and calm down.” This method is such a powerful way to move through issues quickly, and is well worth learning. You can learn all you need to know to use the Choices Method for yourself from Dr Carrington’s e-book, which is available to download free of charge at http://www.masteringeft.com/PDFs/TheMagicofChoicesinEFT.pdf. The Writing on our Walls This metaphor, which is a favourite of Gary Craig, is a powerful way of thinking about what limits us, and aiding us to track down beliefs that we can tap on to release ourselves from what is holding us back from achieving our dreams. It is also a very important concept to understand from the point of view of using EFT to heal. If you are not familiar with this concept you can read about it in Gary Craig’s series “The Palace of Possibilities”. (http://www.emofree.com/palaceof.htm) Once you understand this concept, you will be able to use it to search out the writing on your walls that is resulting in you not achieving your dreams, including great physical health. Specific uses for EFT Using EFT with Physical Illnesses The best place to start with any physical illness is to work specifically with the symptoms. EFT Master Rue Hass has a great series of questions that she asks to help find things to tap on for physical symptoms. You can read these questions in Appendix E. Dr Carol Look also has a very useful series of questions available to assist you with healing physical illnesses. You can read the questions in Appendix D. If you are struggling with understanding how it is possible that emotions can contribute to a physical illness, it may be useful to read an article written by a doctor explaining how cancer can develop as a result of repressed emotions, you can read the article at http://www.alternative-cancercare.com/The_Cancer_Personality.html Using EFT to Lose Weight EFT has been used successfully by many people to lose weight. Dr Carol Look has written down the protocol she has used to help a lot of her clients to achieve their ideal weight. Ideally you would work through this protocol with a practitioner or a friend you can rely on to help you to be objective, but people have also had success working through the protocol on their own. The protocol can be found in Appendix F. Using EFT to Stop Smoking Dr Carol Look has used EFT very successfully to help many people stop smoking. She has generously shared the protocol that she uses. Ideally you would work through this with a practitioner or a friend you can rely on to help you to be objective, but people have also had success working through the protocol on their own. The protocol can be found in Appendix G. - 18 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

Using EFT to heal Chronic Physical Pain For many of us with chronic pain, we have either been told it is due to an abnormality on a scan, the result of a physical accident that we were involved in, or that it’s all in our head because no abnormalities have been found. In an interview of pain expert Dr John Sarno by Medscape, Dr Sarno stated: Here's an example: There was a paper published in 1994 by a doctor and her colleagues in the New England Journal of Medicine. They performed MRIs on about 98 people who had no history of back pain. The researchers found normal discs in only 36% of the people. Everyone else had bulges, herniations of various kinds, and so on, and yet no pain. Dr Sarno has shown in thousands of cases that an abnormality in the spine does not necessarily result in pain. He has had great success in helping people to heal from chronic pain, by clearing the emotional issues associated with the physical pain, and helping them to be free of it whether they have some abnormalities in that area of their body or not. EFT is an excellent way to heal chronic physical pain. EFT Master Rue Hass has written an excellent series of articles that has been published on the EFT website (http://www.emofree.com/Pain-management/chronic-pain-rue.htm), that is very helpful in working through any issues with chronic pain. If you are serious about healing chronic pain, it is recommended that you study this series of articles and work through the tapping that arises as a result of them. This series of articles is very long. If you would prefer to work with a printed book, all the information in these articles and more is available in Rue Hass’ inexpensive book “Opening the Cage of Pain with EFT.” EFT Master Paul Lynch has also written an excellent article entitled “The Colour of Pain” which is available from http://www.emofree.com/Pain-management/color-of-pain.htm. For an example of how someone has healed chronic pain with EFT, see the story about Back Pain in the Introduction to this book. Using EFT for Depression Another area where there has been a lot of success using EFT is with depression. In some cases people are able to clear the sadness and underlying emotions simply by tapping on how they are feeling on their own, others find that support from an experienced practitioner is invaluable. Like with most issues with EFT, there is a wide range of stories, from incredible one minute wonders where years and years of depression has been resolved in moments with tapping, to cases where a lot of persistence is required to track down the causation and clear it with the tapping. A search on the emofree website returns many cases with suggested approaches on working with depression using EFT. Using EFT to heal a Major Trauma If you are interested in learning EFT because you have experienced a major trauma in your life – anything that has been difficult for you to move on from, for example the loss of a loved one, an accident, sexual abuse – it could be a good idea for you to work with a practitioner if this is at all possible. If this isn’t possible for any reason, then following the guidelines on the next page may make the process easier for you:.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

•

•

•

•

•

•

•

If you are new to EFT, try working on a few smaller issues for yourself before taking on the big ones, so that you are comfortable with the tapping and have found ways that work best for you. This can help you to build confidence with the process, and make it easier when you sit down to tap on the major issues. There is tremendous power in there being another person there to support us in our healing. Sometimes it is simply not possible for us to feel safe and supported enough to heal a major issue if we are working alone. A supportive way to work can be to sit down with a trusted friend who knows a little about EFT, who you can support you. Be sure to have your friend read the emofree tutorial on the Tearless Trauma Technique (see Appendix A) and understand it prior to you starting the tapping. The tutorials on the Tell the Story Technique (Appendix B) and the Movie Technique (Appendix C) are also both important ones for you and your friend to understand. Also ensure that you and your friend have read Appendix L, which gives guidelines for being a supportive healing buddy. It is NOT necessary to re-experience the emotions and details of the trauma in order to heal. The best way to heal trauma is to take it very gently, and avoid re-traumatising yourself as a result of thinking about things that really upset you. If you are easily overwhelmed by emotions, really take the time to tap on this with EFT with the help of your friend before even considering tapping on the trauma. Tap with all your concerns about how you might feel when you tap on the trauma, and don’t continue to work with the main issue until you feel ready to. Sometimes when we are doing EFT, no matter how gently we tread, we find ourselves in the midst of strong emotions. If at any stage this happens for you, simply stop talking, and continue tapping, and focus on your breathing. While it's uncomfortable to be overwhelmed with tears or emotion, it does mean that you are really tuned in to the issue and is a real opportunity to keep tapping, and to let go of a lot of what has been causing you pain. It is important to realise that when we go through any major trauma, it is quite common for a part of us to be frozen in time, unable to move forward and process what happened to us. For this reason it is very important to work very gently with EFT with any major traumas, taking the time to hear the feelings inside of us, and if necessary dialogue with the different parts of us to hear how they feel. If, for example, you sit down to do some EFT with a friend and you find yourself saying that a part of you doesn’t want to even go there, then that is the place to start working – “Even though a part of me doesn’t want to go there, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”. Tap on this or any similar thoughts that are coming up and deal with all the feelings associated to these thoughts prior to even considering working with the Tearless Trauma Technique. Sometimes we may consciously decide it is time for us to move on from something that has happened to us, but a part of us isn’t ready to do so. The more we can bring compassion to the parts of us that are not ready to heal, and listen to their stories with empathy, the gentler our healing process is. Listen carefully for the ways you talk about what happened to you, and ask your friend to listen carefully for any beliefs that you may have taken on as a result of the trauma. Often, for example, when a parent has lost a child to an accident, they have a belief that it should have been them instead. Sometimes it is very difficult for us to see these beliefs, and that is why working with a practitioner can be supportive. However if that isn’t possible, by working with a friend you trust, and talking through how you are feeling (preferably while tapping), you may be able to identify the points of view and beliefs that you took on as a result of the trauma, and therefore tap on them. If you aren’t able to get any intensity around something that you are sure is still affecting you, one possible approach is to ask yourself whether you are able to forgive everyone involved in the trauma, including yourself. The purpose of this question is not to be able to answer a particular way, but rather to help you to see any issues that may still be standing between you and peace on the issue. In most cases where we feel that we are unable to forgive, it indicates that there are still emotions blocked in our system that we need to tap to release. If you aren’t sure what the emotions are, simply tap on how you are feeling, for example, “Even though there is just no way I could even consider forgiving John for this, or myself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” For more on forgiveness, see the section Forgiveness as Healer. - 20 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

Using EFT to release Limiting Beliefs Sometimes instead of working with physical illness or pain or trauma, we simply have something that isn’t working in our lives the way we want it to. Perhaps we are struggling to earn a living doing something we love, having difficulty finding a long term partner, struggling financially, or simply feel that we are not living the best life we could be. EFT is great for working with limiting beliefs and releasing them and enabling us to create the sort of life we desire. An excellent way to work with limiting beliefs is to use a process that Rue Hass kindly shared in an article on the emofree website. Here are the statements Rue suggests working through to find leads to tap on (sourced from http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/wild-pony-within.htm): "I had to __________ or else___________" A BELIEF (behavior, outlook on life, self-image...) about this that I got from my family is... That has created a problem in my life because (or when - )... A good example of that was that (particular, specific) time when... The worst part of that particular incident was... That made me feel... It made me think I was... I feel that in my body here: Sometimes I even think maybe I don't deserve... But deep inside, I yearn for... If I had that I would feel... So now.... I forgive myself. I was doing the best I could. I choose to ___________ instead. Using EFT for Phobias Another area that EFT has been very successful is in clearing phobias and in doing so, giving many people the freedom to do something that they formerly would have been terrified to even consider. There are lots of stories about phobias on the EFT website. Sometimes phobias clear rapidly, just after tapping on the basic phobia (for example, “Even though I’m terrified of flying…”) and other times a phobia is found to have a number of aspects which need to be dealt with, before the phobia clears. The easiest way to work with phobias is to just keep imagining yourself doing the activity, and see what comes to the forefront as the worst part of it, and tapping on that, then imagining it again, repeating as many times as necessary. Sometimes it is also necessary to ask what your earliest memory of a response to whatever is causing your phobia is. Often when we tap on the earliest memory we have of something, which may have been quite traumatic to us as a child, even if it seems silly looking back on it as an adult, this can result in us letting go of a phobia we’ve had for many, many years. See the section on Need for Testing for an approach to testing how you are going with a phobia.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

Using EFT for Kids and Animals Children and animals often respond rapidly to EFT. Obviously for babies, very young children and animals it is not possible to teach them the process themselves, but you can tap for them in one of two ways: •

Tapping on the points on their body for them as you say the phrases

•

Tapping surrogately for them, on your own body, while saying the phrases.

While theories abound as to why it is possible for someone to tap on themselves for another, none of us really understand how it works. It is one of the seemingly strangest parts of EFT, and yet it has been shown time and time again to be highly effective, so many of us use it regularly. To tap for someone else, simply tap on yourself intending for it to be for the other person or animal. If you would prefer, you can change the phrases to use their name (“Even though Mary is upset and just can’t stop crying…”). For children, instead of using the standard “Even though … I deeply and completely love and accept myself”, the phrase “Even though... I’m a great kid and my parents love me very much” is more suitable. A search on the emofree website will reveal many, many cases where children and animals have benefited from someone doing EFT on their behalf. There are also articles giving ideas of how you can teach children to do EFT for themselves once they are able to follow the tapping, and many children are able to clear the issues of the day rather than letting small upsets become big ones. For more information on Surrogate Tapping, see Appendix M. For some excellent ideas on tapping to clear any birth trauma for your children see http://www.sageenergetics.com/EFTforParenting.html Using EFT for Hayfever and Allergies EFT is a powerful way to heal allergic reactions, including reactions to foods, and hayfever symptoms. There seem to be two different types of allergies, from the perspective of using EFT: 1. 2.

Reactions to a specific substance, or a limited number of specific substances, whether a particular food or pollen etc. Reactions to a wide range of different substances.

For the first type, simply tracking down when the first reaction occurred, and asking what was happening in the person’s life at that time, and tapping on whatever comes up, is often sufficient to clear the allergy. An example of this is where someone had experienced hayfever symptoms for the last 15 years, each spring, and it was traced back to a particularly emotional time during spring in the year that she first had the reactions. Tapping on the emotional issues from 15 years ago resulted in the person going through the next spring without any symptoms of hayfever at all (much to the amazement of her family, who like she had in the past, all suffered from these symptoms each spring.) For the second type of reactions, some more investigation is often required. Many practitioners who work with clients with environmental illnesses and allergies have noticed that nearly all of these clients have a deep subconscious belief that they are vulnerable and cannot keep themselves safe. This belief often goes back to early childhood experiences, including in some cases a traumatic birth. Working on the theme of “I’m not safe” can result in all the reactions clearing (see the section Why I am passionate about EFT for an example of this.”) Also see Appendix H for some ideas on exploring the safety theme. NB: For serious allergic reactions, it is probably better to work with a qualified practitioner. DO NOT test a serious allergic reaction without taking appropriate cautions (for e.g. having medical staff available).

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You CAN Heal with EFT

Section III - When EFT is Not Working Note that it is recommended that you don’t read this section until you have tried the basics as outlined in Section II, a few times on some simple issues for yourself. In many cases, that is all that is required to heal an issue. This section details ideas for working with more complex issues, and is best read after trying EFT on simpler issues a few times. Common Challenges Here are some common challenges with EFT, with suggested approaches to deal with them: I have no idea where to start

Nothing I tap on seems to be clearing

I’m frustrated that I’m not a one minute wonder I can’t use the 0 - 10 scale I’m tapping and it’s getting worse not better I want to heal but I just don’t want to do EFT for my issues I’ve hit something I don’t want to deal with, or am afraid to deal with It’s just too traumatic … I have real difficulty accessing my feelings while tapping It’s too overwhelming to know what to work on, I need some structure to help me do this I’ve been tapping on everything I can think of and I’ve still got the problem

Nothing is working for me

Try the Simple and Powerful Method for Working Alone Read the example of how a tapping session might unfold in Appendix O. 3. Once you’ve worked with EFT on something simple and had success with that, consider trying the Personal Peace Procedure (Appendix P), which gives a structured approach to healing that can help us to clear a few issues each day. Alternatively, pick something from the EFT Approaches Summary in Appendix T, or try an Aspects Diagram (Appendix S). 1. Read through the whole of Section III, noting anything that might help you to use EFT in a fresh way. 2. Consider working with a trusted friend (Appendix L) 3. For more ideas, read EFT Master Lindsay Kenny’s excellent “10 Ways to Ensure Success with EFT” (http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/ensure-eft-success.htm) Read the section below entitled Why aren’t I a One Minute Wonder? Read Appendix N. Read the section below entitled I’m tapping and it’s getting worse, not better… 1. Read the section below entitled When you want to heal but... 2. Try working with a trusted friend (Appendix L) 1. Read the section below entitled When you want to heal but... 2. Read Appendix R – When it’s just too scary to go there… 3. Try working with a trusted friend (Appendix L) Read Healing a Major Trauma and consider working with a friend 1. Read It’s just not working for me… 2. Try working with the Inner Child (Appendix Q) 1. Read Appendix P – A Structure for Healing – The Personal Peace Procedure 2. Try an Aspects Diagram (Appendix S) 1. It’s just not working for me… 2. Read Appendix I – Finding Core Issues 3. Read the section Using the Choices Method to clear blocks 4. Try the 9 Gamut process 5. Read Section V – Reflections on Healing 6. Try a conversation with the Inner Child (Appendix Q) 7. If you haven’t already, try the process in Appendix P – The Alternate Personal Peace Procedure or an Aspects Diagram (Appendix S) Read the section below entitled When nothing else is working 1. 2.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

Why aren’t I a one minute wonder? The “One Minute Wonder” is much touted in EFT circles and often when someone doesn’t heal their issue within a few rounds of tapping, they wonder why it’s not working for them. It is very important to realise that while there are a significant number of One Minute Wonders, and sometimes they heal issues that go a long way back with a big emotional charge, they are not the norm. Healing is a process, and for some issues all that is needed is to tap and clear the energy blockage while tuning into the bigger picture of the issue. It’s great when that happens, but it is definitely not the norm with a chronic physical illness or long term pattern. The more common healing process is one where we work through each aspect that has resulted in blockages in our energy system. While this can seem time consuming next to the One Minute Wonders, a good way to look at this is to realise that the more time you spend tapping, the more issues you heal! If you clear something in one round of tapping, you are unlikely to get to know yourself better, or to clear issues on other seemingly “unrelated” matters. When there are several aspects to an issue, and you tap through each one clearing it, inevitably you end up covering ground that reaches into other areas of your life as well. You might be working on issue A, but find that issues B, C & D all ultimately have the same core beliefs. When you resolve the core beliefs underlying issue A, all of a sudden issues B, C & D no longer seem to bother you. This happens rarely, if at all, with One Minute Wonders. Gary Craig often says that the three most important aspects of EFT are persistence, persistence and…. persistence! If you tap a round on an issue and it clears just like that - great. If not, keep tapping, keep exploring the aspects and know that as you do so, you are moving to greater emotional freedom in many areas of your life. Remember that in most cases it’s taken you years to create the blockages, so a little patience is warranted in clearing them. If you are having trouble finding the patience, remember that the medical and counselling roads are generally a lot longer and fraught with side effects and frustration! When you want to heal but… Quite a common experience with healing is to learn about a new method, think that it sounds like it might be worth trying, but just not get around to actually using it. Our head thinks it’s a good idea, but there always seems to be a reason why we don’t do it. Or we start tapping, and something comes up that we really don’t want to have to deal with, so we find a good reason not to continue with the tapping. Usually when this happens, whether we realise it or not, there is a voice in our head providing running commentary along the lines of how hopeless we are that we don’t just get on with it and resolve the issue we want to be free of (moving us even further away from the emotional freedom we are seeking!). To understand how common this is with EFT, ask yourself the following questions: 1.

Have I ever made a New Years Resolution?

2.

Have I ever made it to the 20th of January and realised that the New Years Resolution has gone completely out the window?

If you answered yes to each of these questions, welcome to the human race! Just as most people have consciously decided that they are going to do something at the beginning of the year, only to find that it just didn’t happen, nearly all of us have some resistance to dealing with the unresolved emotions underlying the issues that are still bothering us. Unfortunately instead of holding ourselves with empathy and a curiosity which would allow the reasons for our resistance to be heard and dissolved, most of us unwittingly add more pressure to ourselves by beating ourselves up for not doing what we decided to do.

- 24 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

Anyone who has spent much time in EFT circles will have heard the phrase PR (Psychological Reversal) bandied about. It’s the reason why we do the setup statement, and it’s a part of EFT that receives a lot of attention. Essentially having PR means that while a part of you wants to heal something, another part of you might not. It is the force in action that prevents you from sticking with your New Years Resolutions, even though you were determined to do so. It is common to hear someone saying that they are “reversed” on healing an issue, when using EFT. Here is a way of looking at this that can be very supportive. When you really look closely, you are likely to find that there really is no definitive “I” that is feeling something, but rather when we think “I”, it is really a collection of feelings, thoughts and beliefs, some of which are completely inconsistent with each other (for example “I really want to stop smoking” and “Smoking is OK, it gives me the relaxation I need”). Instead of seeing ourselves as reversed on healing an issue, with the inherent judging that inevitably seems to come with this, we can approach our healing with the attitude that there are simply unheard stories inside of us, that make up the different thoughts and feelings we have. When we aren't consciously aware of the thoughts and feelings, they have a tendency to work in the opposite direction to where we are heading, like children who appear obstinate when they are told to do something they don't want to, without the parent taking the time to hear their objections. If we take the time to sit down and listen to the thoughts and feelings inside of us, just as we would with an upset child, the reasons for the upset can bubble up to the surface, and more often than not, once the "resistance" is truly heard, it dissolves and we are able to move forward. Blocks to us doing EFT, that show up in the form of resistance to even trying the tapping, are often major indications of areas that we need to work in. Most of us grew up in situations where our parents simply lacked the ability to teach us how to deal with all of our emotions, because they hadn’t been taught themselves. As we grow up, we therefore become pretty smart at finding ways to protect ourselves and feel OK, even if we can’t process all the things that happen to us emotionally. So rather than being simply a pain in the butt, that internal resistance to doing the tapping is most likely your friend, who has been helping you to function in the world for a long time. Instead of beating yourself up about not moving forward, you can simply see the resistance as a friend inside of you who has been doing something for you, and use EFT to hear that friend’s story and in doing so, allow the blocks to you doing EFT to dissolve. So if you find yourself wanting to clear an issue but are just not getting around to using EFT to do it, or you are really resistant to doing EFT for some reason, then you can use the EFT process to clear these blocks to your healing. Here’s an example of where this might be useful: It is very common for people to decide that they want to let go of some excess weight, and to start using EFT to do so. Initially things go well and they start to feel better about themselves, but then all of a sudden something comes up that they really don’t want to have to deal with, say an emotion for example, like feeling guilty about something. A common reaction at this stage is to stop tapping and go and eat something instead! An alternative approach you can try is to sit down and tap on exactly how you are feeling. For example: “Even though I don’t want to do this stupid tapping, I certainly don’t want to think about guilt and that stuff I don’t want to go near, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.” In doing this tapping, you are essentially listening to the friend within you, whose story hasn’t been heard. As you tap with “…and I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway”, that part of you that has been protecting you hears your acceptance of it despite how it is feeling, and all of a sudden you are both on the same team, instead of pulling in different directions. Now obviously it may take more than one round, and when that particular aspect has been heard, another one may pop up immediately to take its place, but if we have a little persistence with this process, we can find our resistance melting away and us being able to move to greater freedom with our issue. - 25 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

While this weight loss example is very typical, this sort of resistance is certainly not limited to this particular issue. We human beings tend to be resistant to major change in our lives, and healing means things are going to change. It’s natural to have this sort of resistance to doing the tapping, no matter what the issue you are working on is. So if you really want to be free of the issue, then use the power of EFT to deal with the resistance, and then you will find yourself free to move on to dealing with the issue itself. If you find this very difficult to do on your own, you may find working with a good practitioner or a friend who knows a bit about EFT supportive. Sometimes there is part of us who feels for some reason that it would be unsafe or unwise for us to heal, and it can take someone more removed from your life than you are to help you to discover these stories inside you. EFT Master Jaqui Crook has come up with a wonderful tapping process which you can use at the start of a tapping session to help you to clear the blocks to working on the issue you really want to resolve. If you want to resolve an issue but can’t seem to get started with EFT, you can use this process tapping for the part that wants to do EFT and the part that doesn’t. Equally if your concern is emotions coming up that you don’t want to deal with, you can tap for the part that wants to heal and the part that doesn’t want to know about the emotions. You can read this process in Appendix J. It’s just not working for me… Many see Gary Craig working with people on the EFT training DVDs and marvel at his artistry with the EFT phrases, and wonder how they will ever be able to do the same for themselves. One of the true powers of EFT is its simplicity. Unfortunately human nature seems to be to complicate things without realising it, so it can sometimes take some time to realise the power of the simplicity of a method such as this. Many of us seem to go through the stage of worrying about whether we are doing it right - whether we are saying the right things, tapping on the right points - until eventually we are able to relax and trust the process and literally just go with the flow. This section gives some ideas on how you too can come to have the faith in the process that Gary does, and in doing so relax and truly go with the flow. Gary has the wonderful phrase “Through me not by me” which really sums up beautifully how EFT works. All seasoned EFT self helpers and practitioners know that you don’t actually have to be all that clever to come up with the phrases, all that is required is to get out of your own road, tune in to the issue, tap and allow the thoughts that bubble into your mind to lead you as to what to tap on next. Here are some common traps that people fall into in their endeavour to “get it right”, all of which have a tendency to make it hard for us to simply tune in to the issue and tap: Concentrating too hard So often when we learn a new skill we have to concentrate really hard to be sure that we are following the instructions and doing it right. EFT can seem like a very mechanical process, with specific things to say and specific points to tap, but in actual fact the words and tapping are really just a doorway into the energy system and subconscious mind. There are effectively three basic instructions in EFT, and some newcomers concentrate so hard on getting the first two right, that they exclude the all important third. The instructions are essentially: 1.

Decide what you are going to work on

2.

Tune in to the issue and tap

3.

Follow the trail of what comes up

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You CAN Heal with EFT

When we concentrate hard on the first and second parts, what can happen is that we stay entirely in our left brain, and leave no room at all for the intuition that bubbles up through the right brain. There can be a tendency to treat EFT like a left brain activity, because we have structure and certain language, however the power of EFT is really in its ability to access the creative right brain. There are essentially two different types of issues that we address with EFT. The first is a simple issue, which clears rapidly as a result of simply tapping one or more rounds of the basic EFT recipe. These issues are the stuff that one minute wonders are made of, and we can read about many of them on the EFT website. The second kind of issue tends to be more complex in nature, and requires a little more persistence to resolve. With this type of issue, it can be helpful to understand that if the conscious mind, or left brain, had all the answers to the issue, we would have resolved it by now, simply by thinking about it. The mere fact that we haven’t, suggests that we need the creative power of the right brain, and the subconscious, to reveal more of the story to us than we already know. EFT is truly magical in assisting us to access the rest of the story, the aspects of the story that we don’t know about. If we concentrate really hard on getting the first two instructions right, we tend to close down the ability of our right brain to perform the third instruction – follow the trail of what comes up. If we can relax, and trust that EFT really does work through us, not by us, and simply tune in to the issue, tap on the part of the story we know, and be mindful of what comes up, we are able to get out of our own road and let EFT work its magic. If you are new to EFT and feeling concerned about whether or not you are getting it right, try tapping a few rounds on the following phrase before you start tapping on an issue, and see if it makes a difference for you: "Even though I sooo want to heal this issue, and it's really hard to just relax and go with the flow, I choose to relax anyway, and to trust that the EFT will do the healing , I just need to tune in to the issue, gently tap and go with the flow." You can read an example of how concentrating too hard prevented someone from healing in Appendix K. In this example the person was tapping very hard on the points and really emphasising the words, leaving no room for feelings or intuition to bubble up. But I don’t love and accept myself Another trap that we can fall into is when we say the setup phrase “…and I deeply and completely love and accept myself”, but feel that there is no way that we can say this and mean it. This can result in us concentrating on our feelings around self acceptance as we tap, rather than tuning in to the issue we are trying to address. If you suspect this might be an issue for you, you could try the process in Appendix H which deals specifically with this. Even if you don’t suspect this is an issue but none of the issues you are tapping on are clearing permanently, it may be a good idea to try it in case it helps to clear a block. I just want to get rid of this We can often find ourselves working on an issue that we just want to get rid of. We use all sorts of judgmental language about the issue, and get frustrated that we haven’t been able to let it go. It’s easy for us to see our behaviour or a part of us as unacceptable. If we do this however, and don’t deal with it with EFT, it can result in the part of us that is driving the behaviour effectively flying under the radar of the setup statement (…and I deeply and completely love and accept myself) and resulting in the tapping being ineffective. For this reason, it is so important for us to do what we need to in order to accept all of ourselves in relation to the issue that we are working on.

- 27 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

A classic example can be seen with someone who is binge eating, and may say something like “I’m really looking forward to getting rid of this monster.” When we use language like this, what we are effectively doing, (albeit without realising it), is making a part of us into an enemy. It is far more beneficial to our healing if we are able to recognise that any behaviour that we have that we want to let go of but haven’t, is likely to be being driven by a part of us that thinks that it is the best way to protect us and keep us safe. When we treat that part of us like a “monster”, we are effectively making it into an enemy and sending it a loud and clear message that we intend to get rid of it. This simply makes that part fight even harder, in order for it to be able to do what it perceives its job is for us (for example to protect us or keep us safe from something). Can you imagine being able to effectively fight an enemy that you can’t even see and don’t know is there? It’s far more effective to bring empathy to that part of ourselves, to listen to what it wants to achieve for us, and to tap on its issues, which results in our energy being aligned in terms of the direction we want to move forward in. To learn more about this, you can read Appendix J – Resolving Self Sabotage – Healing Parts that don’t want to heal. There is also an excellent article on the internet by EFT Master Rue Hass that has helped a lot of people to understand these concepts. You can read the article entitled “Honouring Your Dark Angels” as part of Rue’s newsletter articles at http://www.intuitivementoring.com/Newsletter/009angel.html Not feeling safe enough to heal Human beings have a tendency to often like things to be stable, and to resist major change. In order to heal something that isn’t how we want it to be in our life, we have to change, and there can be a part of us that is afraid of this change. Some people have major issues around feeling safe in the world, and where this is the case there is often a part of the person, that they are not consciously aware of, that doesn’t want to heal because it is afraid that they will not be safe with the changes that healing would bring. If you suspect this might be an issue for you, you could try the process in Appendix H which explores themes around safety. If you have issues around not feeling safe, it can also be a good idea to tap with a trusted friend, because sometimes a part of us does not feel safe enough to heal if we are working alone. Escaping into our imagination Having a great imagination is a wonderful thing, however sometimes it can impede progress with EFT, particularly for children with a really vivid imagination. If you are tapping on something and getting very imaginative with the way you are describing the symptoms, and the intensity of the issue isn’t coming down at all, consider being less imaginative in your approach, as you may be retreating into your imagination as a way of avoiding tuning in to the issue that causes you pain when you think about it. While there is no need to re-experience the emotions of anything painful or traumatic with EFT, it is important that we are tuned in to the issue while tapping. Thinking the issue isn’t clearing when it actually is There can be a tendency for newcomers to EFT to get frustrated with an issue not clearing, because they don’t realise that they are now dealing with new aspects of the same issue. Some issues are very simple, and only have one aspect, and when that is cleared from the energy system, the whole issue is resolved. However many issues have multiple aspects which need to be addressed before the issue as a whole is resolved. A good example of this can be seen when working with the movie technique with a trauma. Often the first time someone views the movie in their mind, they see the details associated with the very start of the event, and then as they tap and re-run the movie they find that their focus is drawn to different aspects of the event, until finally the issue clears once enough of the aspects have cleared. This is one of the reasons why it is very important to be specific with your phrases – the more specific you are, the more you can be sure whether or not you are making progress with clearing aspects of the issue. - 28 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

Need for Testing As part of finding all the aspects of a complex issue, it can also be important to test the EFT that you have done as you go. If you just think about an issue and believe it is resolved, without really testing it, there may be unresolved aspects that are waiting to surface. If you are working with a phobia the easiest way to test when you are done is to first imagine yourself being in contact with whatever causes the phobic response for you in as much detail as you can, and if that results in no distress, move on to exposing yourself to the real thing and seeing how you go. If at any time during testing you start feeling some distress, simply start tapping through the points – you will already be tuned in to the aspect causing the issue. For physical pain, you can move the part of your body that was in pain in whatever way you need to, to see if it comes back (taking care not to hurt yourself!) For other issues, the two main ways of testing are: 1.

2.

Imagine the situation that was causing you distress in as much detail as you can muster. Use all your senses and really get into it. If you can do this with no distress and no uncomfortable feelings arising in your body it has probably cleared. Use the Tell the Story Technique, which you can find in Appendix B. This is a very effective way at ensuring that all the aspects have been dealt with, particularly when working with a trauma.

I’m tapping and it’s getting worse, not better… Something that is commonly reported when people are new to EFT is that they gave it a go, but it made the symptoms worse, so they stopped tapping. While this is a natural instinctive reaction, the symptoms initially getting worse is actually a sign that EFT is working. If we are tapping on something and the symptoms get worse or change, that is a strong indication that the tapping is having an effect on the symptoms, and therefore likely to resolve them completely if we continue with the EFT. A common phrase in EFT is “chasing the pain”, and it describes how we continue tapping and find pain changing and moving, and increasing and decreasing in intensity, as we clear the blockages in our energy that are resulting in the pain. Sometimes with physical pain there is no need to get into the emotional aspects at all, because so long as the pain is changing (whether moving or getting stronger or less) we are getting feedback that simply tapping on the physical pain is enough to be clearing the blockages. For more ideas on dealing with pain, see an excellent article written by EFT Master Paul Lynch available on the EFT website: http://www.emofree.com/Pain-management/color-of-pain.htm Using the Choices Method to clear Blocks One very effective way to discover other aspects that need to be addressed in order to clear an issue is to use the Choices Method (see section entitled The Choices Method) specifically to find the elusive aspects. This method is particularly effective for uncovering limiting beliefs that we aren’t aware we have. If you are stuck on moving forward with an issue in your life, try the following steps: 1.

Formulate the first part of the setup statement, with “Even though….”

2.

Formulate the rest of the statement starting with “I choose” and complete with wherever you would like to be with the issue. Be as positive as you can, really go for the best choice you can come up with. If you are having difficulty doing this, enlist the help of a good friend.

3.

Tap on the karate point with the full statement three times, then tap through each of the points, saying the full statement at each point. As you are tapping on the points, be very mindful of any thoughts that are coming up in your mind that are running in opposition to your desired choice. Note each one down, and then tap on each of those thoughts using the standard setup statement.

Here’s an example to see how this can work: - 29 -

You CAN Heal with EFT

Sally is terrified to go to any event where there will be a large crowd. She has had panic attacks in the past, and is worried that she will have a panic attack any time she goes to an event with a lot of people. Tired of missing out on events that she would like to attend, but is afraid to, Sally asks a friend how she feels when surrounded by a large crowd of people. Sally takes her friend’s reply, and formulates the following choices statement: “Even though I hate being anywhere near a crowd of people and I panic and am afraid I’m going to have a full blown panic attack, I choose to trust that I can be calm and confident and feel safe anywhere.” Sally then starts tapping with this statement on the karate point, and listens carefully for any objections that come into her mind. As soon as she starts tapping she hears a thought in her mind: “No way, don’t you remember what happened at the concert last year!” Sally now has something to use with the standard tapping, to clear a specific event that is contributing to her fear – “Even though I completely freaked out at the concert last year….” Once she has cleared this particular event, she returns to tapping with the choices method and listens for the next objection to come forward. This method sometimes flushes out surprising beliefs that we may have never considered. An example from the author’s life illustrates this well: I was doing some EFT with the assistance of my partner to try to heal reactions to various foods that I was allergic to. We seemed to have hit a real block and nothing we tapped on seemed to be getting me past it, so my partner helped me to formulate the following choices statement: “Even though soon after I was born I felt that food was unsafe for me, I now choose to feel delighted that my body can deal appropriately with all foods”. As we tapped on this statement, all sorts of thoughts came to mind, and I realised that my reluctance to let go of my reactions was because I saw them as warning signs that I was in unsafe territory, and therefore I saw them as my friends. I had reacted to foods so many times in the past, and deep down in my subconscious I obviously believed that many foods were in fact dangerous to me, and therefore the reactions I had were keeping me safe because they were ensuring that I avoided those foods. This brought up a whole new aspect to tap on, and once we cleared this, I was able to heal and no longer reacted to any foods. This particular use of the Choices Method can be a very powerful way to clear blocks to our healing. Forgiveness as Healer Forgiveness is such a key ingredient in healing. So much has been written and talked about with forgiveness, and yet so many of us still have a concept of forgiveness that makes it very hard for us to bring it into action in our healing and lives. Many EFT practitioners have learnt through supporting others that “forgiveness” is a really loaded word for a lot of people, and something that is very difficult for some people to embrace. Some feel that to forgive means to forget and behave as if the thing that hurt them never happened. Others feel that it would be letting the person who hurt them off the hook too easily. And others still are adamant that they have already forgiven, and yet continue to use judgemental language about themselves or the person they claim to have forgiven, and express hurts around the situations involved, which indicates that while they may have intellectually made the decision to forgive, emotionally they have not forgiven at all. Our culture is very blame oriented, you only have to turn on the news for a few minutes to see that blame runs deep. It’s much easier to point the finger at someone else, than to accept responsibility for our part in something, and choose to let it go. Something interesting on this is that if you point your finger at someone and look at your fingers (try it now), you’ll find that you have one finger pointing at them, and three pointing back at you!

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You CAN Heal with EFT

One way to look at forgiveness is that it means choosing to let go of something that has happened, and choosing to no longer give it power over you. It does not erase what happened, or in any way condone it or say that what you or the other person did was OK. You will still remember what happened and be able to learn from the situation. It is simply an intention that you are no longer going to give this situation power over you, or the opportunity to live rent free in your body and your mind. While this definition is simple, in practice forgiveness is not always so easy. One of the main reasons people have difficulty forgiving is that there are feelings and trauma that have not yet been resolved. When we clear all the trauma associated with something that has happened, forgiveness tends to occur naturally. We no longer choose to hold onto the resentment, guilt or anger surrounding a circumstance, and instead let go of it from our mind and our body. If we are having difficulty forgiving, it is often a sign that there are still some feelings locked inside us that need to be heard or felt, in order for us to truly let go. If you have done a lot of healing around an issue and are still finding it difficult to let go, try spending some time feeling deep inside to see if you can get in touch with sadness, regret, anger or other emotions that may need to be released. Sit down, close your eyes, and go within your body and think about the situation that is still causing you pain, and observe what happens in your body. If, for instance, your stomach feels tight, gently place your hand over the tight area, and ask the area how it is feeling. This is a good time to practice bringing empathy to yourself, sitting patiently waiting, as you would if you were trying to find out what had really upset a child. As with the child, impatience is not useful here. If you find yourself being impatient, try and simply sit with the impatience – it may reveal what the issue is for you. Once you are aware of the feelings inside, you can tap on them and move towards peace on the issue for yourself. Sandy’s story is a wonderful example of how forgiveness as a healing force: On January 23rd 1987, Sandy MacGregor was the happy father of six children. He was a retired Army colonel decorated in the Vietnam War for bravery in tunnel conflicts, and a Civil Engineer with a bright future. That evening tragedy struck in a seemingly senseless form. Sandy’s three daughters were gunned down and killed in their Sydney home by an intruder. Sandy was understandably totally devastated. As he told his story on a TV show, Sandy explained that one day he realised that he was so full of hatred, self-pity and anger over what had happened to his daughters, that he was destroying his own life. He realised that he needed to let go of the anger and forgive the man who murdered his girls. While he did not condone in any way what the man had done, he chose the difficult route of meeting with him in prison, and letting him know that he had forgiven him, in order to release himself from the anger and hatred that could have destroyed him. Sandy said that it was then that he found what the human spirit is all about. The crisis made him realise the true power of our minds, and our ability to choose how we will use them. We never truly know what causes people to do the things they do. Statistics have shown that most abusers have at some time in the past been abused, and while that is no “excuse”, it can make it a little easier to find compassion for someone who has hurt you. However the most important thing to remember is that forgiveness is for you, not for the person who hurt you. It is a decision that you make, when (and only when) you have healed the hurt associated with the person, and decided not to let that hurt have a hold over you any longer. Forgiveness cannot be rushed. If you are doing work with this, don’t push yourself to forgive, instead work gently with the EFT for yourself, with the intention of finding peace within yourself on the issue.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

A word about guilt Guilt is an emotion that comes up so often that it warrants special mention. Many of us have been brought up in an environment where guilt was used to keep us in line, to train us to keep within the rules set by those in charge. Often we don’t realise that guilt is actually a totally redundant emotion – it serves no useful purpose at all. Where remorse helps us to ensure that we don’t do something that we’ve regretted again, guilt tends to simply be a way of punishing ourselves for something already done, or something we didn’t do that we thought we should, and in no way helps us to avoid doing (or not doing) things that we will later beat ourselves up over. As guilt serves no useful function, and instead can keep us mired in issues that we want to move on from, addressing anything that causes us to feel guilty when we think about it now with EFT can be very empowering. Some people find that guilt seems to be quite resistant to tapping, and keeps surfacing no matter how much they tap on it. Here are a few tips to help to clear guilt from your life: Remember to be as specific as you can. If there are only a few specific things that cause you to feel guilty, try breaking them down into specific events and applying the Movie Technique (Appendix C) or the Tell the Story Technique (Appendix B) to them. If you have a lifetime of training in feeling guilty, ask yourself what your earliest memories are of feeling guilty and work with them. Often when we collapse the earliest events subsequent events clear with them. If guilt just keeps coming up for you, consider the fact that it might simply be a smokescreen for other emotions. Sometimes we stay stuck feeling guilty about something, because it is easier to beat ourselves up than to acknowledge the anxiety that lies underneath the guilt. Many people with a chronic guilt pattern were bought up in homes where their parents were under stress and there was a general level of anxiety in the home. Try exploring other emotions that may be lying underneath the guilt if you think there is a possibility that this is the case for you. A common clue that this might be an issue is where we have difficulty saying No to a request that we do not want to agree to. If this sounds familiar to you, there is an audio interview that is free to download from the EFT Revealed website that contains a wealth of information. You can download the interview in MP3 format from http://eft-revealed.com/blog/category/compulsive-helping-disorder/ When nothing else is working If your difficulty is that you are continually overwhelmed by the volume of issues you are facing, consider using the Personal Peace Procedure (Appendix P) as a structure to do a little healing each day. This can help to break your healing down into manageable chunks and as you find things changing for you as a result of clearing issues, you will have more confidence in how to approach the day to day issues that arise for you with EFT. It is very common for people who have been through some tough times to spend a lot of time searching for answers, and asking a lot of questions on how to approach their particular issues with EFT. If instead we can simply tap on how we are feeling (For example, “Even though this is so overwhelming I just don’t know where to start, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”), and then start working through the PPP, we often start finding the answers to our own questions inside us with the help of the tapping. Another area to consider if you simply aren’t healing a physical illness or an undesired behaviour is what is known as conscious conflicts. This is when we have made a decision to tolerate something that is not OK for us. Sometimes it comes in the form of a vow we have made to ourselves, for example a father who is in a relationship that is not working for him who wants to leave, but who has declared to himself: “I would rather die than leave my children.” A less extreme example of a conscious conflict is where someone has a real need that is not being met as part of a relationship, which they are choosing to make less important than keeping the peace. In the case of a conscious conflict, while you can use the tapping to clear the blocks standing in the way of your taking the action you need to take, tapping alone will not

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resolve it. If you have a conscious conflict you are likely to have to make a decision to correct the situation that is not working before you will be able to fully heal. Many people have healed from a variety of emotional and physical illnesses tapping on their own or with a friend. Sometimes however the issue can be a little complex and it can be difficult for us to see where to tap next. The simplest way to look at this is that if your current practitioner is not helping you to heal, then you need a new practitioner, and that includes if you are acting as your own practitioner! If you are considering working with an EFT Practitioner, you can download a free e-book “Guidelines for Selecting an EFT Practitioner” by EFT Master Patricia Carrington, which gives ideas on how to find a good practitioner who you will be comfortable working with. (http://www.masteringeft.com/PDFs/GuidelinesforSelectingEFTPractiitioner.pdf) If you are for any reason unable to work with a practitioner, another option to consider is to find a healing buddy. While working with a trained practitioner can help us to get to the core of issues more quickly, we all have the ability to help one and another out. It can be very powerful to have two or more people working together for their healing. To read more about this idea, and to find some ideas of how to find a Healing Buddy, see Appendix L – The Benefits of having a Healing Buddy. Another wonderful source of free advice is the EFT forums. They are a place that you can post a little about what you are working on, and others who have healed a similar issue, along with some experienced practitioners, will provide some suggestions of how you can target EFT on the issue that is difficult for you to shift. You can find the EFT Forums at: http://www.emofree.com/forum_landing.htm. To maximise the chance of receiving a helpful reply, ensure that you detail a little of what you have already worked on and what has happened. When working on our own it can also be helpful to tap along with a tapping sequence in an audio. Sometimes when we follow someone else in the tapping, even if it’s not on the specific issue we are working on, we are able to relax enough for thoughts to bubble into our mind that lead us in the direction we need to tap on next. There are some great sources of free audio tips and interviews on the net, most of which include some tapping: • • •

EFT expert interviews at EFT Revealed http://eft-revealed.com/blog/ EFT Talk with Dr Carol Look and Rick Wilkes http://www.eft-talk.com/ Brad Yates Sample eTapping on change http://www.bradyates.net/page41.html

It can be easy to feel isolated when working on issues on our own, and to find it difficult to see through the maze of our own beliefs. Some support from someone else is invaluable. If you are feeling isolated and feel like there is no-one out there to help you, try doing some gentle tapping along these lines: Even though I feel like this is hopeless, I’m just not getting anywhere, and I don’t have anyone who can help me with this, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, and I choose to be open to the possibility that I will find some support in my healing real soon. This might help you to be able to relax and find a way to use one of the many resources above to find the support you need. Hang in there, try the different suggestions in this book, and reach out for help on the EFT Forums if you need it. You are worth it, even if you struggling to believe that right now. If you have tried everything and don’t believe that you really can heal, please know that Jo has been there too. She really didn’t believe that it was possible that she could heal the very physical symptoms that had restricted her for so long. Fortunately that didn’t stand in the way of EFT working a miracle for her, even without the help of a practitioner. With persistence, and the determination to heal, EFT may work the same kind of miracle for you.

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Section IV - Why I am so passionate about EFT After my adventures with my doggie friends (see the first page of this book if you haven’t read about this), I started to realise that EFT may be more powerful than I had first thought. I was chronically ill for nearly 20 years, and while at the time I learnt EFT I had reasonably stable health, it was only if I avoided a lot of foods and chemicals, any of which could result in me being very ill from minimal exposure. While I really wasn’t sure that it could even be possible that I could heal, because I thought that the reactions I had were due to my immune system having been compromised as a result of years of medical drugs prescribed in an attempt to cure me of many symptoms, I decided to give EFT an earnest go. I will be forever thankful for my having made that decision. My health challenges began in earnest when I was 9 years old and initially manifested as sinusitis, which was diagnosed by various doctors as chronic sinus infections. I was treated with antibiotics, and while the symptoms of the infections abated initially after each lot of antibiotics, my bouts with sinus infections became more and more regular. Many other symptoms started to creep in and most of my teenage years were spent with chronic fatigue and a lot of pain throughout my body. In my 20’s I had periods of time where I was unable to work for several months on end because I was so fatigued and in so much pain that I wasn’t even able to muster sufficient energy to have a shower most days. While I never stopped searching for answers, and tried all manner of different natural and medical methods to heal, the lack of answers, coupled with the pain and fatigue, inevitably resulted in periods of depression. I had some respite from symptoms from using homeopathy but it was not lasting and often resulted in major healing reactions after treatment. After many visits to doctors, including various specialists, I was eventually lucky enough to come across a doctor who, while he was mystified as to how to help me, acknowledged that I was very ill and he was determined to find a way to help me. He referred me to another doctor who was also trained in naturopathic ways of healing who confirmed the diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (a.k.a. CFS/CFIDS/ME) and Systemic Candidiasis. This doctor was able to help me to get back to functioning enough to work (using a combination of medical and natural remedies), and to better understand the physical aspects of my illness. Early in 2007 my health was relatively stable. I was however keenly aware that the smallest thing could tip me over. Exposure to a small amount of agricultural chemicals had in the past resulted in me not being able to get out of bed except to go to the toilet and to try to eat for two weeks. Accidental exposure to foods that I appeared to be allergic to could result in me being very ill for days on end, even if I wasn’t aware that I had eaten any of the foods (on several occasions we only tracked down that I had eaten a substance I was reacting to after I had been ill for some days with the symptoms of an allergic reaction.) Filling up the car with petrol left me with a nasty headache for hours on end, and exposure to someone’s perfume could result in me feeling sick for hours too, so I tended to have to avoid enclosed spaces like elevators, and going to events like concerts or flying in aeroplanes was often problematic. After seeing the results with the dogs, written about earlier, I threw myself into studying everything I could get my hands on about EFT. I watched the EFT DVDs, read many articles and tutorials online, studied the free EFT Manual, and listened to any audio interviews of EFT experts that I could find available free online. One day, while watching a DVD in “The Ultimate Therapist” series, I heard Dr Carol Look say that underlying most allergies is a feeling of not being safe in the world. As I didn’t feel that I had that issue (I was quite happy living on my own a lot of the time and wasn’t aware of any real issues with feeling unsafe), I didn’t initially see the significance of what Dr Look had shared. Some days later, while doing some tapping on an unrelated issue, I suddenly remember my mother telling me that I had been born with the umbilical cord wrapped three times around my neck, and that the attending staff had had to work quite quickly to save me. I was born two weeks overdue and quite malnourished. I emailed my mother to confirm the memories I had of what she had told me about my birth, and she confirmed that it was correct and also told me that I had been given an injection that had - 34 -

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terrified me moments after I was born. She also confirmed my memory of her telling me that I threw all my food up the first time she fed me each time as a baby, and that she had to feed me twice each time, until eventually at 4 months the doctors decided that I should be weaned onto formula. While it seemed unlikely that this could be related to my current health challenges, I was curious to realise that my problems with food had started the very first time I was fed, and so I decided to follow the lead that Carol Look had provided. Even though I had no conscious memories of my birth and was sure I must have got over the trauma of the birth by 36 years of age, I was so desperate to find freedom from the reactions that could make me so ill so quickly that I decided to sit down with my partner (who was also new to EFT) and do some tapping on my birth and my reactions to food. I had been reading about how we pick up the emotions of our mother while we are in the womb, and knowing that my mother had a kidney infection while she was carrying me and was worried that the medication might affect me, I decided to include this in the tapping as well. To cut a long story short (if you want to read a detailed account of the actual tapping you can read about it on the web at http://www.emofree.com/Allergy/multiple-food-allergies.htm), after three sessions of tapping on the birth and food issues I was able to eat anything and no longer reacted to any chemicals. I redefined my entire relationship with food, and in doing so learnt an enormous amount about health and healing. Prior to doing the EFT I was convinced that my reactions to foods and chemicals were a result of my immune system being damaged by years of medical drugs. It was a huge revelation to me that in actual fact they were a result of me having arrived in the world feeling unsafe. Now, 18 months on from doing those life changing EFT sessions, it’s hard to believe that I ever reacted the way I did. Long gone are the days where I couldn’t fill up the mower or car with petrol, because I would feel so incredibly unwell, and I have even occasionally been known to eat an entire pizza, followed by a desert (both virtually cocktails of my former allergens) and feel great doing so. Spring has become a season I can enjoy—in the past I avoided all flowers and pollens that had the potential to set me off with one of my reactions, and now I find myself deliberately placing my yoga mat near the flowers so I can enjoy them while breathing deeply with yoga. Where there were so many times I didn’t even have the energy to have a shower, I now live a very active life, exercising every day, and am full of energy. I am living life with a sense of freedom that for so many years would have been unimaginable. I had no idea how much my feelings of being unsafe had permeated my life, until I was released from the prison of those beliefs. It is just incredible, and something I will forever be thankful for. Where in the past I for so long had the metaphor of myself as canary in the coalmine – alerting the world around me that what we are doing to the environment and our own bodies is not OK, the metaphor has now changed and the canary is now out of the cage and flying free. Instead of seeing myself as weak and vulnerable, I now feel so healthy and strong that my entire self concept has changed. Healing from my years and years of physical challenges has resulted in major changes in my life. However these are not the only benefits I’ve had from EFT. Another area that I’ve really benefited from is reading Rue Hass’ work on EFT and the Highly Sensitive Temperament, documented in her book “This is Where I Stand – The Power and Gift of Being Sensitive”. Rue introduces a personality type that occurs for about 15 to 20 percent of the population which wasn't known until a few years ago. In her book she describes in brilliant detail how you can use EFT to turn what are commonly seen as weaknesses of those with this personality type into your strengths. One of the biggest things reading this book did for me was realising that there isn't actually anything inherently wrong with being highly sensitive - and in fact the traits we highly sensitive folk have are really useful to the world. It also helped me to realise that unless we heal the issues surrounding our sensitivity we do tend to be vulnerable physically - Rue writes about how many people with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia have this personality type, and how being aware of it can help us to heal. So with all of this it is not difficult to see why I am passionate about EFT!!!

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Section V – Reflections on Healing Chronic Illnesses & Patterns It can be easy to think that EFT is a mechanical process, and if we just follow the basic recipe, say the right phrases, and tap for long enough, all our symptoms and limiting beliefs and anxieties should disappear. While this does actually happen in a surprising number of cases, it is not the norm for chronic physical illnesses and lifelong patterns and this can be disappointing for all those who have been tapping for a while and are still finding themselves with their challenges. In the culture that most of us have been brought up in, symptoms are seen as a sign of our body letting us down, or something to get rid of as soon as possible so we can get on with our life. The true healing that comes from EFT comes from a very different paradigm to the one where symptom eradication is the main goal. As stated in the introduction to this book, if a warning light on our car dashboard is coming on we expect the cause that the warning light is alerting us to will be corrected, rather than for the warning light to just be disabled. The goal of EFT is true emotional freedom. Seeing illness or behaviour that we want to let go of as just something to be got rid of is missing out on the learning opportunities that come when these warning lights show up in our lives. It can be difficult to see our body as doing anything other than letting us down when we are diagnosed with an illness, and the temptation to see the illness as something to be got rid of, rather than learnt from, is strong for most of us. However the really inspirational stories of people who have recovered from serious illnesses are so often stories of people finding true emotional freedom by heeding the warning light of their symptoms, and dealing with the underlying issues in their lives that resulted in the symptoms or illness showing up. EFT is a very powerful tool, but like any tool, it is only part of the equation. While many people heal rapidly with EFT, others find that it becomes part of their ongoing journey to true health. There are a few other ingredients that may be needed, to be used alongside of EFT, for true healing from a chronic illness or lifelong pattern to take place: Empathy – making friends with ourselves When we are ill, or behaving in a way that we don’t want to, our first reaction is often very judgmental – either towards ourselves, or the part of our body that is causing us “the problem”. Instead of seeing behaviours and physical symptoms as friends alerting us to an issue that is standing between us and true emotional freedom, we simply want to get rid of them. True healing comes when we are able to be with ourselves with empathy and understanding, when we cease to engage in warfare with certain aspects of ourselves or our body, and instead make friends with ourselves. If we are tapping with the attitude of “getting rid of” something, whether it be a feeling, a physical symptom or illness, or a behaviour pattern we don’t like, we run the real risk of the setup statement failing to get all parts of us on board to heal. When this happens any tapping that we do is unlikely to be successful in realigning our energy system. It is essential that we learn to make friends with ourselves, and use EFT in our endeavours to do so, rather than attempt to “get rid of” certain things, if we are to move to real emotional freedom. The process in Appendix J by EFT Master Jaqui Crooks is wonderful way to make friends with all parts of ourselves. If our challenge is that there is a physical symptom or illness that we want to get rid of, we can also do some tapping along these lines: “Even though I have , and really just want to get rid of it, I choose to thank my body for letting me know that there is something in my life that I need to address. I apologise to my body for treating it like an enemy, and I invite it to let me know what it needs in order to heal. I let my body know that I know that haven’t been listening lately, and that I’m really working hard now to change that now.” If you haven’t yet read EFT Master Rue Hass’ excellent article on Honouring Your Dark Angels, which has helped many people, you can read it as part of Rue’s newsletter archives at http://www.intuitivementoring.com/Newsletter/009angel.html. - 36 -

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Forgiveness - rebuilding our relationships with ourselves and others Two things that inevitably stand in the way of true emotional freedom when they are an issue for us are guilt and not being able to forgive ourselves or someone else for something. These are reiterated here due to their importance, however you can find the detail on them in the sections Forgiveness as Healer and A Word about Guilt. Communication Life is relationships and communication is the oil that keeps relationships flowing harmoniously. As the foremost relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves, one way to look at healing is to see it as a process of discovering how we are currently communicating with ourselves, and how we can improve that communication. Many of our symptoms, whether they are physical or mental, are simply a matter of our mind and body communicating those things for us that we are unable to communicate or hear for ourselves. As we learn to hear the messages our body and feelings and thoughts have for us, and as we tap with empathy for ourselves, we no longer need the symptoms to communicate for us. Another aspect of communication that is so important is learning to communicate our needs and feelings to others. Many times people with chronic illnesses have discovered that the illness is resulting in their body setting boundaries for them that they feel unable to do for themselves. No matter how much tapping we do, if we don’t learn how to express our needs in a way that works for us and others, it can sometimes be very difficult for us to heal. An excellent book that is an easy read and goes really well with EFT and addresses this is Marshall B Rosenberg’s “Nonviolent Communication”. Commitment No matter how effective the tools we have to assist us on our healing path are, without a decision to heal, and following that decision up with doing what we need to in order to clear the obstacles standing in the road of emotional freedom, healing can prove to be very elusive. EFT is a wonderful tool to assist us with this, we can simply write down all our reasons for not committing to the decision to heal; all our doubts, fears, concerns and anxieties; and tap on each one of them until we find the freedom to commit to our healing. This is another area that we need to bring empathy to – it is so easy for so many of us to judge ourselves for not doing what we need to in order to heal or move on – and it is another candidate for tapping: “Even though I’m beating myself up for not having this resolved yet, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” A further aspect of commitment may in some cases be to commit to finding a way to work with an experienced practitioner. In any field there are limits to what a DIYer (Do-It-Yourself-er) can do without some professional assistance. The more experienced the DIYer is, and the more committed they are to learning all the different skills of the trade, the less they need to call on help. However even an experienced DIYer may sometimes face a part of the job that is too big to handle alone. EFT is a wonderful and powerful tool, and we really can move mountains on our own. AND there will be times where some of us need to call on assistance from an expert. If you aren’t moving the mountain on your own, seriously consider making the commitment to find a way to find someone to help you move it.

Use EFT to truly make friends with yourself and your body, and to let go of anything that others have done that caused you pain, and move towards true emotional freedom. - 37 -

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Section VI – Where to Learn More If you are serious about using EFT to find emotional freedom, and you work through these resources available free on the internet, you will be equipped with a powerful tool for life. EFT Newsletter

EFT Training Manual

EFT Tutorials

Emofree Forums

Self Healing Portal Newsletter Knowing what to say with EFT A fun way to create magical EFT statements EFT and Sensitivity

EFT Revealed Audios

EFT Audio Tips

EFT Talk

Palace of Possibilities

This excellent newsletter from Gary Craig helps you to learn from several EFT cases each week, and is highly recommended to all who want to learn more about EFT. http://www.emofree.com/subscribe.asp Gary Craig’s EFT Training Manual is available for download from the emofree website. http://www.emofree.com/downloadeftmanual.asp These tutorials give a great way to learn the different techniques of EFT without having to leave your own home or pay any money. http://www.emofree.com/tutorial.htm There are a variety of forums where you can read postings, and post your own questions which you will receive answers to from EFT practitioners and others using EFT to heal their own issues. http://www.emofree.com/forum_landing.htm The Self Healing Portal Newsletter is Jo’s way of distributing anything she learns about EFT and other healing methods. You can request it at: http://www.selfheal4me.com/News--and--Events.php This excellent series of articles by Rue Hass contains a real treasure chest of ideas to help you to access your intuition to come up with tapping phrases. http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/intuition-rue.htm This article by Jasmine Bharathan gives a fun and easy way to find new phrases to tap with. http://www.heal-empower.com/magical_statements.htm In many cases people with chronic illnesses have a personality type known as the Highly Sensitive Person. This article by EFT Master Rue Hass discusses how this information can assist us in our healing. http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/wild-pony-within.htm This website has audio interviews with various EFT experts available to download, on a wide range of topics. You can learn different approaches from all the audios, whether the topic seems relevant to you or not. http://eft-revealed.com/blog/ These short audio files by Rick Wilkes give some great tapping tips that can support you as you tap on any issues. http://www.thrivingnow.com/for/Health/category/EFT%20Audio%20Tips These audio sessions by Carol Look and Rick Wilkes are a great way to learn different approaches. You can tap along with Carol and Rick on a number of topics, and learn and clear issues at the same time. http://www.eft-talk.com/ Gary Craig has written extensively about ways to uncover and release the limiting beliefs that are holding us back. Great for anyone serious about having greater freedom to create what they want in life. http://www.emofree.com/palaceof.htm

While they are not available free, for anyone really serious about learning EFT, the EFT training DVDs available from www.emofree.com are highly recommended.

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Section VII - About the Author and Acknowledgments Jo Hainsworth (born and raised in New Zealand) has spent many years learning several methods of healing in pursuit of her goal of true health. Having seen the amazing benefits of learning EFT, Jo trained as an EFT practitioner in early 2007. While she is not currently working as a practitioner due to other commitments (Jo and her partner are soon to be self-building their own home!), she retains a keen interest in seeing others empowered with simple self help methods such as EFT. In 2007 Jo created the Self Healing Portal (www.selfheal4me.com), a website that contains a wealth of free resources to enable people to take their healing into their own hands. She enthusiastically shares what she learns with readers of the Self Healing Portal via a monthly newsletter which you can sign up for free on the website. Jo would like to take this opportunity to reflect her immense gratitude to all those who have assisted her on her healing path, including: • • • •

• •

• • • •

•

• • • • •

Mum, who trained as a homeopath fuelled by her desire to help me to heal My friends Pam and Jel, who each in their own way helped me so much to find my own healing path Drs Shashi Patel and David Higgins, who did their very best to help me to heal, and who helped me get back to functioning enough to go on and find true healing with EFT Gary Craig, founder of EFT, without whose generous sharing of this tool I would never have discovered it. I have the utmost respect for the way Gary has spread EFT throughout the world, and will be eternally grateful to him helping me to find a way to heal. Carol Look, who I have never met but who forever touched my life when I learnt from her, via a DVD, that allergies are often as a result of a belief of not being safe in the world Rue Hass, who I have also never met but whose writing has also forever touched my life. Through Rue’s writing I discovered that my sensitivity is part of the gift of who I am, rather than something wrong with me All my friends who courageously offered themselves as guinea pigs for me to learn EFT with, and who asked loads of questions which helped me to find answers. All those who have trusted me to support them on their healing journey, and in doing so helped me to learn and heal so much more myself. All those who have agreed to their stories being shared, enabling others to learn from their experience with EFT. My good friend who helped me to see that a slower and more gentle approach to the tapping could be more supportive when I was teaching her EFT, who taught me how to nurture myself with tapping. My Focusing teacher Suzanne and my Focusing partner Chris, both of whom through listening to me and allowing me to listen to them while Focusing, taught me that I don’t have to fix anything, that simply listening is the real healing, and have in doing so really changed the way I do EFT. Everyone who reviewed drafts of this book. Their comments and questions all made a very real difference to the book. My friend Julia who tirelessly reads all that I write and generously gives her time to bounce ideas off and try new ideas out My soul sister Lisa who really gets it, and gives me the gift of understanding My two doggie angels, Flop & Tuft, without whom I may never have discovered the power of EFT My soulmate Rex, who continues to play such a major part in my learning to fly with true emotional freedom

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Section VIII - Appendices Appendix A - The Tearless Trauma Technique (Written by Gary Craig and abbreviated* from http://www.emofree.com/tutorial/tutorqseventeen.htm) Note: Since first introducing this technique to the public, it has been used with great success by many. However, the term "Tearless" does not mean that no one ever has tears or discomfort. Indeed, some people respond with tears or other forms of distress at the mere mention of their issue. Thus, please interpret The Tearless Trauma Technique as a method where distress can usually be minimized or eliminated. The Tearless Trauma Technique was developed in a group setting with impressive results, and although it continues to be effective for groups, it is presented here as another alternative for minimizing pain in individual sessions. Here are the steps: 1. Ask the client to identify a specific traumatic incident from their past. Ask that it be at least 3 years ago to minimize any complications from the dynamics of a current event. An example might be, "the time my father punched me when I was 12." By contrast, the phrase "my father abused me" would be too broad because, chances are, the abuse took place over many, many incidents. Please note that you may need to instruct the client to stay on their original issue because many of them will shift to other issues as they resolve the original one. 2. Ask the client to GUESS at what their emotional intensity would be (on a 0-10 scale) IF they were to vividly imagine the incident, and make note of their guess. Instruct them NOT to actually imagine it (although some will close their eyes and do this anyway). This GUESS is a surprisingly useful estimate...and...it serves to minimize emotional pain. 3. Have the client develop a phrase to use for the EFT process such as "this father-punch emotion" and then proceed with a round of tapping. 4. After this round of tapping, ask them to GUESS again and compare that guess to the original one. Typically, it will be a noticeably smaller number. 5. Perform more rounds of EFT and keep checking in with new intensity guesses. In my experience, a total of 3 or 4 rounds will bring just about everyone down to GUESSES of 0 to 3. 6. Once the client is down to an acceptably low GUESS, then perform another round of tapping and, after this round, ask them to vividly imagine the incident. Notice that this is the first time you are asking them to do this. All previous times have been relatively painless GUESSES. In my experience, just about everyone goes to zero but if not, continue with the Movie Technique or Tell the Story Technique to address the remaining aspects. Peace, Gary

(* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix B: The "Tell the Story Technique” (Written by Gary Craig and sourced* from http://www.emofree.com/tutorial/tutorltwelve.htm) One of the tools I use for Mastery is called the "Tell the Story Technique." I've been using it for years and you can see live examples of it on the "6 Days at the VA" video (included in the EFT Course ). The idea is very simple. Just have the client narrate a SPECIFIC EVENT (about a trauma, grief, anger, etc.) and stop to tap whenever they get to emotionally intense parts of it. Each of the stopping points represents another aspect of the issue that, on occasion, will take you to even deeper issues. Conceptually, this is about as easy as it gets...AND...it has a tendency to bring up important aspects that would otherwise take sophisticated detective work to locate. There are a few guidelines to enhance the process and I list them below.... 1. After describing the "Tell the Story Technique" to the client, and before actually doing it, ask them how they feel now about the mere thought of telling the story. Often you will get some substantial intensity at this stage and, if so, it is worthwhile to do a few global type rounds of EFT to take the edge off. "Even though I'm nervous about telling the story....." "Even though I'm afraid what might happen when I tell this story...." "Even though I don't like this whole thing....." "Even though just starting the story gives me the jitters...." 2. When the client feels comfortable about starting the story (perhaps an intensity level of 0-3), ask them to begin at a time when there is nothing to be concerned about. An example might be having lunch with a friend just before having a car accident. This tends to ease the client into the experience. 3. Instruct the client to STOP THE MOMENT THEY FEEL ANY INTENSITY WHATSOEVER. This is critical to the success of this procedure. Most clients are conditioned by conventional techniques to "be courageous" and to "feel the feelings" and to "be brave and gut through it." Thus, they are likely to go right by an important tapping point without telling you. The CLIENT NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF THEY DON'T STOP, THEY HAVE MISSED A HEALING OPPORTUNITY. Hit this one hard. Emphasize it. Raise your voice a bit to punctuate it. Insist on it. Remind them that we are looking for minimal pain here and that they get no points for bravery. 4. Have the client repeat the story while doing EFT until they can tell it nonchalantly--like it was a shopping trip. 5. Then ask the client to close their eyes and VIVIDLY IMAGINE the whole event and ask them to TRY TO GET THEMSELVES UPSET by exaggerating the sights, sounds and feelings. Chances are they will get through it fine but, if they don't, then you will have uncovered an important aspect or underlying cause. Use EFT for whatever comes up until they cannot get upset about the issue by either imagining it or talking about it. 6. The ultimate test, of course, will be to physically visit the offending scene/person again and see if anything else arises. If there are any remnants left, they will show up during the "real deal."

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This "Tell the Story Technique" has several benefits.... 1. It is easy to perform and, because the client talks a lot during the process, it often parallels what clients consider "real therapy." Thus the perception of EFT's "weirdness" is minimized. 2. The "story" provides a built in procedure for finding aspects. 3. It can be used either as a primary technique or as a way to test your results. 4. It allows the issue to unfold as gently as possible. 5. The client gives you solid information along the way that allows you to know how you are progressing. I hope you find this helpful. Hugs, Gary

(* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix C: The Movie Technique: A tool for being specific (Written by Gary Craig and sourced* from http://www.emofree.com/tutorial/tutorcthree.htm) In an earlier Tutorial I emphasized the importance of addressing specific events rather than global issues. This can often spell the difference between apparent failure and dramatic success. Even though the concept is easy to understand, some newcomers have difficulty putting it into practice. Fortunately, there is a tool that greatly simplifies this important task. I call it the "Movie Technique" and it is demonstrated many times in the EFT – Beyond the Basics DVD set (previously called Steps Toward becoming the Ultimate Therapist). Simply stated, if the client can make a mental movie of the event then it is automatically a specific event. A movie has a specific beginning and a specific end in time. It has a specific plot and specific characters. It has specific words & specific actions and generates specific feelings. In fact, if the client can't make a specific movie of their problem then the problem is too globally stated. Here's an example. Suppose the client states their problem as, "My father always abused me." This is too global, of course, because that abuse is likely comprised of numerous specific instances (events) of abuse. If you ask the client to make a specific movie of this abuse, YOU FORCE THEM IN THE DIRECTION OF A SPECIFIC EVENT. Once in awhile the client will make a vague generalization of the issue instead of a specific movie. In such cases, you will need to guide them in the proper direction. To give you some guidelines for stepping through this Movie Technique, I submit the following procedures that I have refined over time..... First, ask the client, "If it was a movie, how long would it last?" Typically, they give me an answer that can be measured in minutes. This reflects, of course, a specific event. If they say, "several hours" or "several days," then you can usually assume they are still being too global. Next, ask the client, "What would the title be?" This also tends to force specificity. In most cases they will give you a specific title such as, "Fight in the Kitchen" or "My accident in Mom's car." If they give you a more general title, be sure to check out how specific they are being. Next, ask them to run the movie in their mind and evaluate the intensity they are having NOW (as they imagine it) on a scale of 0-10. Alternatively, you can ask them to GUESS what their intensity would be IF they vividly imagined it. I usually find their guesses to be reasonably accurate AND guessing tends to save the clients some emotional pain. Next, do several rounds of EFT on "this ____________ movie." At the end of each round check out the 0-10 intensity. Typically, it will come down to low numbers or to zero. You may be done with this specific movie at this stage but continue with the procedures below to thoroughly test the completeness of your work. Next, ask them to go through the movie in their mind, starting with a low-intensity segment, BUT STOP WHENEVER THEY FEEL ANY INTENSITY. You will usually need to emphasize the importance of stopping because most clients are conditioned to believe that, in order to be rid of their problem, they must be brave and feel the pain while going through it. This is now ancient thinking. With EFT, these stopping points provide opportunities for tapping. Next, use EFT on each stopping point until there is no more intensity on that segment (aspect) of the movie.

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Have them run through the movie in their mind again, beginning to end, tapping on intense aspects as they come up, until the movie no longer has a charge on it. Finally, when the intensity seems to be resolved, ask the client to go through the movie one last time, but exaggerate the sights, sounds, colors, etc and really TRY to get upset about it. If they find some more intensity, then keep repeating the steps above until it is gone. When they can no longer get upset, your work is done. Properly done, this procedure should neatly remove a negative tree from the client's emotional forest. Then you can remove another tree...and then another...and then another...until 5 or 10 of them have been thoroughly uprooted. Since most of these trees have some commonality among them, there is usually a "generalization effect" that spreads throughout the whole forest, thereby toppling the rest of the trees. Thus, the client's problem of "My father always abused me," even though it may have several hundred specific events (trees) contributing to it, is often handled after 5 or 10 specific events have been neutralized. The Movie Technique is similar to the Tell the Story Technique, and they are both fantastic tools for being specific and thorough in your work. The Movie Technique has the added advantage of helping you address events that the client can’t or would prefer not to discuss out loud. On the other hand, the Tell the Story Technique will present opportunities for you to ask specific questions to help your client get to the less obvious aspects. As you refine your skills, you may develop a preference for one or the other, or you may choose to combine elements of each, depending on the individual session. Hugs, Gary

(* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix D: Asking the Right Questions (Written by EFT Master Carol look and sourced* from http://www.emofree.com/articles2/ask-right-questions.htm) Part I Asking the right questions at the right time is essential to zeroing in on the exact issue your client needs to work on during sessions. Listening deeply to the answers to these questions separates good EFT practitioners from excellent, masterful ones. Many beginning EFT practitioners ask me in supervision sessions, “So how do you know what to tap on?” Good question! When I started asking more of the “right” questions, my EFT practice improved considerably. Practitioners need to establish rapport and ask questions that will get to the heart of the matter. This work is never one-size-fits-all. If you don’t know what the “real” problem is, or the strongest emotional driver that’s feeding your client’s conflict, you won’t be able to aim the EFT treatment in the right direction. If you aim the EFT treatment at the real issue, you dramatically improve your success rate and take less time getting results. My favorite brilliant question of course is Gary Craig’s “If you could live your life over again, and there were something or someone in your life you would just as soon skip, what or who would it be?” This gives the clinician immediate access to troublesome memories, relationships, and time periods in the client’s life that the client might not have associated with their emotional conflicts or physical ailments. The following list of special questions helps me decide where to direct my tapping and how to become more specific with the EFT treatment. While some of you will recognize these questions from my work with weight loss and other addictive processes, they can be used effectively whether you are working with anxiety, addictions, physical ailments or blocks to abundance. While these questions don’t need to be asked all in one session, I am confident the answers to them will always improve my accuracy and success rate with EFT. Some of them are as follows: 1. How long have you suffered from this problem (conflict, ailment, disorder, concern…)? This question helps the therapist to orient themselves so they know whether this is a life long problem or it just surfaced since a recent stressor in the client’s life. While it may seem obvious that you need to know this information, too many clinicians forget to gather this information. If your client has been overweight since childhood, the course of treatment is very different than if they started putting on weight during menopause. Suggestions for tapping for focusing on when the ailment started might be: “Even though I started feeling this pain in high school, I deeply and completely accept who I am…Even though I didn’t feel these symptoms until my son left for college, I choose to accept how my body is responding…Even though I didn’t start overeating until I felt grief about my grandmother’s death, I accept all of me and appreciate how I have been handling my life.” 2. What was happening in your life before or during the time of diagnosis, or when you noticed this problem arise? This is just another way of asking question #1. We all know that stress triggers emotional and physiological problems. Our immune systems become weakened under stressful situations, and often we do not “connect the dots” between a family crisis or stressful employment situation and an emerging cluster of physical symptoms. Try variations of these statements: “Even though I didn’t have my first panic attack until after that terrible family fight, I accept myself and love who I am anyway…Even though I didn’t feel this pain until after I moved to the new home, I love and accept myself and my feelings…Even though I started overeating because of my loneliness after the relationship broke up, I choose to feel calm anyway.”

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3. Who else in your family history has suffered from this? We often identify ourselves with particular family members. Sometimes we are even told “You are just like Aunt Sara…” or “You look just like your mother…” (who, by the way, might have died of heart disease or cancer or something else…) These associations get caught in our clever minds, and we tend to live out certain suggestions. “Even though I have taken on her ailments to be close to her, I accept who I am and how I feel…Even though I am identifying with my father by having knee problems, I deeply and completely accept myself…Even though I was trying to be like _____ by getting the same ailments, I choose to release this pattern now.” 4. What would you be focusing on if you didn’t spend time worrying about this issue? One of my clients told me that if she stopped obsessing about food, she “might” have to take a look at her failing marriage, and she wasn’t prepared to do that just yet. This is the information a clinician wants. This client’s need to lose weight wasn’t as strong as her need to avoid looking at her marriage. The EFT practitioner needs to know this or will think EFT doesn’t work when actually, the reasons around the problem weren’t explored deeply enough. Try setup phrases along the lines of: “Even though I’m afraid to give up this obsession, I choose to relax and feel free about it…Even though I don’t feel safe when I’m not beating up on myself, I accept and love myself anyway…Even though I don’t feel safe feeling the depth of my loneliness, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.” 5. How would you be spending your time if you weren’t taking care of or managing this problem? Several of my clients admitted to using a mild “chronic” illness as a way to avoid entering into new relationships. Their fears of intimacy and wounds from being “dumped” before were so great, that they avoided socializing because of the pain, discomfort, and complications associated with the illness. Examples of tapping sequences that would lead the client to more relief and the freedom to consider different options are: “Even though I’m using my symptoms as a way to protect myself from being hurt again, I accept and love myself anyway…Even though I’m afraid to even try a new relationship because of what happened last time, I choose to feel safe without these symptoms…Even though I don’t feel safe unless I’m hiding behind these problems, I accept and love all of me right now.” Part II The following special questions (the second half of my list) help me decide where to direct my tapping and how to become more specific with the EFT treatment. While some of you will recognize these questions from my work with weight loss and other addictive processes, they can be used effectively whether you are working with anxiety, addictions, physical ailments or blocks to abundance. I am confident the answers to them will always improve my accuracy and success rate with EFT. They are as follows: 6. How would you feel if you didn’t have this in your life? One of my clients who was a heavy smoker for 30 years said, “I would have no idea who I was, or what my identity would be if I didn’t have a cigarette in my hand.” Identity issues are critical, and need to be explored so you can aim the treatment at the right problem. You could tap as follows: “Even though I’m afraid of the loss and grief if I give up smoking, I choose to feel calm and peaceful anyway…Even though I’ll feel insecure and won’t know who I am without this problem, I choose to feel free and relaxed right now…Even though I need this challenge to feel important…”

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7. What is the downside of getting rid of this problem? This is my favorite question, because while it often takes clients by surprise, the client is usually very forthright about giving more than one “downside.” My client with financial difficulties said he is successfully avoiding being criticized by his siblings by “staying in the struggle.” He knows that as soon as he breaks through the abundance barriers (and he knows EFT is the tool to do so) his family members will jump all over him for being “rich” and will then “hit him up” for money! This is one of those fears of not being “safe” that is a perfect target for EFT. One direction of tapping setup phrases might proceed as follows: “Even though I won’t feel safe if I am wealthy because of what he might say, I choose to accept myself anyway…Even though they won’t feel safe or happy if I succeed, I choose to move forward anyway…Even though I’m afraid to succeed because of their typical reactions, I deeply and completely love and accept ALL OF ME anyway.” 8. What is the upside of holding onto this problem? How does holding onto this problem help you or give you something positive? Like it or not, all of our problems and conflicts “do something” for us. We need to take responsibility for any secondary gains we might be receiving as a result of our limitations. A lovely woman in a recent class was having violent dreams in the middle of the night and often ended up in the emergency room getting stitches from throwing herself out of bed and onto the floor in the middle of her nightmares. After tapping on the fears from the dreams, I asked her the “upside” of this issue. She said being “hurt” allowed her to take care of herself instead of running to take care of needy family members. Her injuries were “legitimate” reasons to stay home. We tapped on “Even though I feel trapped and don’t know how to say “no” to others, I deeply and completely…Even though I feel as if I am boxed in by their demands, I choose to say no and feel safe anyway…Even though I haven’t found the right way to take care of myself YET, I deeply and completely accept all of me right now.” 9. What is YOUR theory about why you haven’t yet resolved this dilemma, cleared this issue? I know that all of my clients are brilliant and know the answers to these questions. A typical conversation following this above question runs something like this: Carol: “Tell me your theory about why you haven’t resolved this problem yet.” Client: “My doctor says…” Carol: “Yes, but I’m interested in what you think the reason is?” Client: “My husband told me…” Carol: “OK, that’s his theory, but what do you think is the block to recovery in this case?” Client: “I read somewhere that people with this illness…” Carol: “I’ve heard that too, but tell me what your inner guidance/wisdom is telling you about this.” (Long pause…) Client: “I am afraid to reach my potential because they will be jealous of me or hurt me…” Carol: “What happened the last time you felt like you had reached your potential?” Client: “My husband left me.” Carol: “That would be a good reason to keep yourself stuck. Anything else?” Client: “Yes, I don’t want to have to live up to anyone’s expectations. I just want to be left alone.” 10. What happened the last time you were at your best? Reached your goal? Got promoted? Won the award? Announced how happy you were in the new relationship? Looked fabulous? I love these questions, because the client sees the connection immediately. When I asked a client who was struggling with abundance this question, she told me that she was afraid to succeed again because when she got a huge promotion, she went home and told her parents, and the following week her mother died of a stroke. “Even though I’m afraid something bad will happen again, like the last time, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though it doesn’t feel safe being successful, I choose to accept my talents and my skills…Even though I’m afraid to embrace my power because of what happened the last time, I accept all that I am and appreciate what I offer the world.” (* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix E: Questions to Ask for Physical Symptoms (Written by EFT Master Rue Hass and sourced* from http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/intuition-rue.htm) One of my fibromyalgia clients told me that the EFT work we did together in my office works really well for her, but when she gets home and tries to do EFT she can't figure out what to say. So we did a session on the pain she was feeling in her legs, and I tracked the questions I asked her and how we used her answers. Of course this doesn't cover everything possible to ask or say, but it might help guide someone else with the same puzzlements. Ask yourself these questions, and any others that occur to you. Listen inside. Pay attention to thoughts, worries, images, physical sensations, feelings that arise. Tap for your answers! The phrases that we tapped for in this session are in italics. •Where specifically do you experience the pain? Tops of my thighs, knees (“Even though I have pain in …”) •What is the worst part? My knees are weak, I can’t trust them (Even though my knees are can’t trust my knees...)

weak,,,Even though I feel like I

•How would you describe it? Soreness (“Even though I have soreness in…”) •Like what? Like an ache Knees ache (“Even though my knees ache…”) Like my muscles are not toned (“Even though it feels like my muscles are not toned…”) (Continue to use each phrase in italics in this way, sometimes as a set up statement – “Even though…”, and sometimes as phrases to say while tapping on each point) (Note: there is no way to do this “wrong!” You can’t do any harm, only good.) •When do you feel it? What triggers it? When I am stressed and worried •When did it start? Exhausted from exercise Tension in my body •When was the first time you felt something like this pain? Some time after that auto accident ten years ago (work with all the aspects of the incident) •Make a metaphor – what do your legs feel like? • As if they are waking up from hibernation, Like they haven’t been used, no strength in them, like a bear coming out in spring (I wove some imagery in later in the process: bears are powerful… feels so good to come out of that cave… the fierce protectiveness and will to survive and thrive of the mother bear for her cubs)

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•How do you feel about your legs hurting? • It’s embarrassing •What specifically is embarrassing? I feel out of shape Walking that short distance should not be an issue Frustrated with my body Mad at my body (Note: “What, specifically…? is an excellent question to ask to get deeper into vague answers. In EFT the more specific you can get, the better it works.) •If there were a deeper emotion under the pain, what would it be? Worry that if I don’t overcome this, pain in activity will get progressively worse. Worry that the cycle of pain will get worse every time. Worried what the future will be. Anger — it’s not fair! •What will that be like? My physical abilities will be further limited Physically I am not as strong as I want to be I think of myself as strong, but my body is keeping me back from that •When you worry how do you do that? (literally HOW) Vicious mental circle: worry—exercise—pain-––worry—stop exercise—worry …a gerbil wheel of worry (Here are some questions to ask to find new things to add after you say “Even though I have some remaining pain in my legs, I deeply & completely love and accept myself and…”) •What do you want instead? I want to fix my body, not mask the pain with drugs like my friend does I want a strong and healthy body •What state of being would you have to be in for this to be true? Excited about physical activity Peace, health and well being Knowing that I am enabling my body to feel good for my future •If you were no longer worrying, what would you do instead? Having new adventures, appreciating my body •I Choose: To appreciate my health, my body (“Even though I only have a little pain left in my legs, I choose…”) What specifically do you want to appreciate about your health and your body? I Choose to appreciate: my legs -- that I can still walk my legs for holding me up all these years my legs for helping me to stand up for myself my arms, that they can give people hugs my body, that it can feel joy - 49 -

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•I Choose: To look forward to each new adventure To look forward to the future To put my attention toward what I want, not what I fear Use your imagination and curiosity and associative thinking and especially your humor to come up with images and phrases about the use and purpose, even the spiritual purpose, of “legs,” in this case. Of course you can do this with any subject, and this is what makes EFT so fun, I think! Be as wild and dramatic in your imagination as you can. Let healing be joyful! or example… legs support you, they are your greatest friends, legs allow you to stand tall, to stand up for yourself, to take a stand, to stand out, to take you places, to get you where you want to go, to take you away from what you want to avoid, jump for joy, run away, run to what you want, kick things out of the way, kick a path open for you, legs allow you to be flexible, be as short as you want or as tall as you are -in side and out…. etc. etc. etc. Use your own imagination, let it RUN free! Give your imagination its own legs! Then sprinkle all these phrases in as you tap along.

(* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix F: Dr Carol Look’s Compulsive Overeating and Weight Loss Protocol (Written by EFT Master Carol Look and sourced* from http://www.emofree.com/Addictions/compulsiveovereating.htm) My compulsive overeating and weight loss protocol is divided into four sections. I'll see how much I can write down before my next client rings the buzzer! Part One: The Present The first section targets the current and concrete behavior or symptom that the client reports is the problem. Obviously there are many layers under the symptom, but to attack these first is an easier way to get started. Also, some of the layers begin to emerge when you target eating behavior. The primary phrases that clients give to me about their "addiction" or weight problem are as follows: • • • • • •

"Even though I'm a food addict, I deeply and completely accept myself." "Even though I'm, obsessed with food..." "Even though I'm a sugar addict..." "Even though I crave sweets at night..." "Even though I have an enormous appetite..." (we'll get to the underlying cause of this "appetite" later.) " "Even though I'm a closet eater..." "Even though I binge at night..."

I ask the client to tap for themselves three times a day for whichever of the above phrases speak to them and their problem. I ask them to do it in the early morning and late evening when they are not in the middle of a struggle to NOT eat. When someone waits until they have a craving, they are less likely to complete the process. Although they do it then as well. Two more interesting phrases emerged with some clients that really seemed to help. • •

"Even though I have an urge to eat whenever I SMELL food..." "Even though I have a craving whenever I SEE food..."

These are very powerful anchors...remember, advertising works. Then I move on to the underlying feelings and anxieties that drive the behavior. Classic phrases that hit home with clients are as follows: • • • • • • • • •

"Even though I eat when I'm bored..." "Even though I eat when I'm angry..." "Even though I eat when I'm lonely..." "Even though I overeat to hurt myself... "Even though I eat to avoid my feelings..." "Even though I use food to soothe myself..." "Even though I overeat to hide myself..." "Even though I binge because I think I'm worthless..." "Even though I overeat because I don't love myself..."

I recommend that you and the client go fishing for whatever phrases ring true...you will usually see it in their face or you will recognize when it hits home.

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Two other key points that I find essential are regarding guilt and self-hatred. These are not motivating factors for someone who wants to lose weight, so help them to drop the guilt about their eating disorder. • • •

"Even though I hate myself for overeating..." "Even though I feel guilty when I overeat..." "Even though I feel guilty about being overweight..."

Help them reduce these feelings so they don't backfire and cause the person to eat even more as a result of the anxiety. I use the point on the index finger and say, "I forgive myself for overeating...or eating when I'm not hungry...or eating when I'm angry...etc..." They need to forgive themselves for compulsive behavior that seems to be out of their control. The self-hatred must be reduced or you will not have longterm success. A note about more guilt. I worked for eight years at Freedom Institute for alcoholics, addicts and their family members. The population termed A.C.O.A. deserves special mention. They are Adult Children of Alcoholics, and were raised by one or more addicted parents or caregivers. "ACOA's" often suffer from free-floating guilt that would boggle your mind. They report feeling a gnawing sense of never being enough, never being a good enough child to help their parent stop drinking. "If only I had been smart enough, good enough, clever enough etc...mom would have stopped drinking for me." Of course this isn't true, but eight year olds don't understand addiction. Dig deep with clients who were raised with excessive dysfunction and get rid of the guilt or, again, you will not have long-term success. Many ACOA's have sworn off alcohol because of their associations with the parent, and of course turn to food as a more "acceptable" substance. Underlying anxiety is often undiagnosed and untreated. Part Two: The Past In this part of the treatment, I address basic self-esteem issues and incidents. I ask the client to write down or name three of the worst incidents that have hurt their self-esteem and tap for them. Often these incidents revolve around shame of their body, or their early eating habits. I ask which is the loudest memory? The stickiest? The worst? I also ask them to picture the first time they discovered food as a pacifier and address the underlying feelings that were going on at the time. I also ask them about their family's attitude around food, what the atmosphere was around the dinner table at home etc...This often brings up new material...which I help them tap for • • • • •

"Even though I'm anxious when I sit down to eat.." "Even though I associate food with fighting..." "Even though I associate food with my mother's love..." "Even though I feel unsafe without food..." "Even though I eat to feel better...

I ask the client to remember the sharpest criticism they heard around their body image, peer problems etc...I have them tap for shame or whatever the strongest feelings are. This section can uncover upsetting times that may need more work. Go slowly and respectfully and you will make tremendous headway.

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You CAN Heal with EFT

Part Three: The Future I test the client to see how they would feel in the future if they couldn't binge with freedom. I ask them the following questions and tap for the reaction: 1. "Picture yourself not being able to eat sweets in the evening...How do you feel?" They often say anxious, angry, lonely or irritable. We tap for the response. 2. "Picture yourself as thin as you would like. What happens? How do you feel?" This often brings up so many answers. Sometimes they say they don't deserve it, or they feel anxious, or they don't feel safe anymore without their shield etc...Sometimes they say they don't want other people to be envious of them, or to comment on their body or appearance. We tap for whatever fears and feelings arise. 3. "Picture yourself addressing the underlying feelings that trigger the eating behavior. How do you feel?" They often feel anxious or just "resistant" to doing it and admit that they would rather suffer with the eating and weight problems. Tapping might go something like this.. "Even though I'm afraid to face my childhood depression,..." or "Even though I'm afraid to deal with the rage at my father..." Then I address specific sabotaging behaviors and ask them what their theories are about why they might sabotage their progress. I ask them to say the following statements out loud and tap for whichever ones cause a reaction. • • •

"It's not safe for me to lose weight." "It's not safe for others if I lose weight." "I don't feel supported by my family members..." (I have often heard about clients who are offered chocolate cake just as they are getting going in their weight loss efforts) "I don't deserve to be happy with my body."

I also ask them to say out loud "I weigh 125 lbs" (or whatever the goal weight is) and see what emotions come up. As in some of the sports performance phrases, I have them tap for • •

"Even though I have a block to weighing less than 140 lbs..." or " "Even though I sabotage myself whenever I weigh less than 130 lbs..."

I also ask them to tap for • •

"Even if I never get over this eating disorder..." and "Even if I never lose weight..."

These two seem to help the inevitable feelings of desperation that most people with binge eating habits struggle with. The clients often say they don't want to say these phrases, because it's not true. But I urge them to say them anyway. It seems to reduce unconscious/energy blocks to losing weight and stopping the out of control behavior. Obviously there are so many more phrases and issues you can have the clients tap for. It all depends on their particular patterns. The MUSTS as far as universal problems that get in the way seem to be shame, guilt, self-hatred, and anxiety.

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Part Four: Extras 1. Apparently, restrictive eating, chronic dieting, yo-yo weight gain and loss and basic binge eating disturb the balance of our endocrine system and thus the metabolism. This is particularly frustrating to clients who have thought that occasional starving in between binging can help them lose weight. The metabolism reacts by holding onto every last morsel of food, expecting to be starved again in the near future. This often slows down progress in the beginning for some people, as their metabolisms rebel by slowing down. This is why you often hear people say they don't eat enough food or calories to gain weight, yet they gain anyway. I ask my clients to read up on stress and how it affects the hormonal system, insulin production and basics of nutrition. 2. I know there is a lot of bad press about low carbohydrate diets out there, but talk to a carbo or sugar addict or someone who is hypoglycemic, and they will tell you that it does matter what kinds of foods they eat and when. They find that breads and sugars trigger a compulsion to eat more breads and sugars. It makes sense when you consider the basic principles of addiction. Alcoholics in A.A. know that "One drink is too many, and a million isn't enough." This is how a sugar addict feels. Have them tap for "Even though I'm out of control...or "Even though I'm powerless over food... 3. Tap for an imbalanced or slow metabolism. People love this one. "Even though my metabolism is too slow..." "Even though my metabolism is imbalanced..." 4. You can always use daily affirmations such as "thank you GOD for speeding up my metabolism..." or "thank you God for releasing me from compulsive eating..." 5. I ALWAYS do the tapping with them saying the exact phrases they want to say. On many occasions, the clients have said that they can't say "I deeply and completely accept myself." I say it out loud and eventually they follow. Good luck and be persistent. Your clients will notice that they begin to "forget" about eating binges and planning their food. And they begin to be engaged in other activities other than secretive eating or food shopping. The weight will begin to come off as the underlying issues are addressed and the basics of symptomatic behavior are tapped away.

(* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix G: Dr Carol Look Stop Smoking Protocol (Written by EFT Master Carol Look and sourced* from http://www.emofree.com/Addictions/smokingprocedure.htm) Dear Gary, As per your request, I have written down the basics of my quit smoking procedure. I checked my dates, facts and figures and came up with an 80% success rate. Some details about the clients follow the writeup of the procedure. Over the telephone, I schedule the first of three 90-minute sessions. I tell the client it is not necessary for them to quit smoking on the date of the first session. I have found that this helps them evaluate their readiness and motivation more accurately and gives them the freedom to back out if they're not ready. Their reaction to this is informative as well. (This of course helps me and my success rate since it weeds out those who are truly not serious about quitting yet.) We talk about all of this during the first session. SESSION # 1: HISTORY: I take a general history of the client's smoking patterns, making sure to cover the following topics: -When did you start smoking and why? -Who else in your family smokes? -Have you ever quit before? -What worked and why did you relapse? -What tells you you're ready now? Why this particular time? -What do you see as the "upside" to quitting? -What do you see as the "downside" to quitting? (This is the most important question of all as you will be tapping on all of the "downside" feelings and factors.) IN THE MOMENT CRAVINGS: --I ask the client to take out a cigarette and smell it, giving the current desire, craving or urge a SUD's rating. Then we tap to reduce the current craving : "Even though I have this craving to smoke now....." --I ask the client to say out loud "I'm quitting smoking" and ask them to rate the discomfort or anxiety. Then we tap for that anxiety. --Tell me about your three favorite times of the day to smoke. And we tap for each one as follows: Imagine having your cigarette with your morning coffee...How much do you want it as you picture that scene? Rate it. "Even though I want to smoke when I drink coffee....." "Even though I have this urge to smoke after dinner...." --Then I reverse the test and ask them to picture themselves unable to smoke after dinner, and rate the anxiety as a result of the "deprivation" rather than the desire or urge to smoke. --Then I ask them what their theory is about the primary feeling that causes them to pick up a cigarette and tap for that..."Even though I smoke when I'm bored..."

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--Then I ask them what else is surfacing now? Most of my clients have reported feeling three things: 1. Sadness about the loss of smoking/ triggers other grief 2. Fear and anxiety about having withdrawal symptoms and what to do about them, and 3. Discomfort about losing the "last place" they have to rebel. SESSION # 2: (Many clients have quit during the week or quit as they left my office last week) I ask the client to evaluate the week, their challenges and any surprises. --Did you smoke less, the same, more, or quit? --How was the anxiety? The loss? (and any other feelings that were dominant during the first session) We tap for all of the feelings coming up. --Do you want one now? Tap for it. --Basically, the week gives the client time to experience and notice vulnerabilities for relapse. We often tap as follows: "Even though I use cigarettes as my reward... "Even though I use cigarettes to stuff my feelings... "Even though I use cigarettes to comfort myself... etc. At this point I ask them to decide if today is their quitting day or if they need another week to experiment. I emphasize that I want them to feel safe when they quit, and armed with enough tools to help them through any cravings or withdrawal symptoms. I end with another short trance and meditation. By the way, after tapping for the session, they go into trance immediately. SESSION # 3: This is a basic clean-up session...What did you notice this week? Any trouble spots? "Even though I want to smoke when the kids are screaming..." "Even though I'm afraid to gain weight if I quit..." "Even though I'll miss my smoking buddies if I quit..." "Even though I want to smoke when I'm lonely..." Many times they are reminded of earlier losses that surprise them..."Even though I'm still sad about that break-up..." (* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix H: Clearing Blocks to EFT One of the many wonderful things about EFT is the setup statement, which automatically helps us to deal with any resistance we have to healing the issues we are working on. In most cases, the standard setup is all we need. As Gary shows in the DVDs, sometimes it also helps to really emphasise the setup statement to help get past resistance. While I’ve found that in most cases this is all that is required, in a few cases where the issue is quite complex in nature some other approaches also help. This seems to be particularly so when dealing with depression and auto-immune illnesses. This article contains ideas that I use when working with people who have been tapping on their own, or with practitioners, and who are finding that their issues are not clearing permanently. As Gary points out on the Palace of Possibilities DVD series, affirmations are very powerful, and so are the tail enders that can come with them. If you are unaware of this concept, I highly recommend reading about them in the Palace of Possibilities writing or watching the DVDs. EFT is such an effective tool that I know that if someone has been tapping without really clearing issues, that there must be a block in the way of the EFT working. One of the most common blocks I’ve found in the few instances where this happens is the tail enders that come up, without the person realising it, while tapping the standard setup. (For Palace of Possibilities writing see http://www.emofree.com/palaceof.htm) To deal with this I’ve taken an approach that Stephen Daniels suggests on his presentation on Using EFT for Chronic Illnesses, on the Specialty Series 2 DVD set, and added other ideas to it. I’ve seen some powerful turnarounds for people using this method, including people who have been using EFT for some time without the sorts of results we are so used to seeing. If you are working with someone, or on your own, and finding that issues aren’t clearing permanently, you might like to try this approach and see what happens. 1. Have the person make the following statement out loud, and rate on the scale of 0 – not true, 10 – totally true, how true it feels to them emotionally. We are looking for the immediate emotional response, rather than a reasoned logical one (if the logical mind had all the answers, we wouldn’t need EFT!). The statement is: I accept myself as I am. In most cases where the problems haven’t been budging the rating is towards the low end on this scale. In a few cases the person rates this quite high and in these cases you can still benefit from carrying on with the process, as you may find that their self acceptance is conditional on something. 2. The next step is to have the person complete the following sentence with whatever immediately comes to mind (again, we are looking for the emotional, gut response, rather than a logical one): In order to accept myself I need to ___________ 3. Take whatever comes up as a tapping statement, using a modified setup as follows: Even though I need to ______ in order to accept myself, I accept that is how I feel right now, and I open myself to the possibility of this one day changing. (The modified second part of the statement is to avoid the tail enders that could be present using the standard setup statement.) 4. Proceed to tap on whatever comes up as a result of tapping this statement. For example, a common response to complete the sentence is: In order to accept myself, I need to be perfect. In this case, you would look for early memories of times when the person felt they needed to be perfect in order to be acceptable to someone. - 57 -

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5. Re-rate “I accept myself as I am” periodically to check progress, and whenever nothing more is forthcoming with the tapping, re-visit the statement “In order to accept myself I need to ____” until a major shift has been felt. 6. Ask the person if there are any things in their life that cause them to feel guilty when they think about them now. Tap until each one is collapsed to 0. I have been amazed to see the results of this sort of tapping. People have uncovered beliefs, and things they have felt guilty about for years and years, that are standing in the way of them accepting themselves, and once dealt with, no longer block the use of the standard EFT setup statement. This simple idea can really move mountains and enable EFT to work in the powerful way it is designed to. Another block that I have found is quite common when working with people suffering from depression or auto-immune symptoms is something I also learnt from the Stephen Daniels DVD. Underlying these issues is often a belief that the person is not safe in the world. This belief may be one they are consciously aware of, or as in my own case, might be something that we don’t consciously recognise at all, until some tapping has been done. I have yet to work with someone with auto-immune challenges who has not had trauma that resulted in them feeling unsafe in the world and feel that this is a key part of resolving their issues. To do this I use the same process as outlined above, but with the following statements in the place of the statements around self acceptance: I am safe and protected. In order for me to be safe and protected, I need to ______________ Ask them if they have any events in their early life that caused them to feel unsafe or unprotected. While these two ideas can seem too simple to be very powerful they have held the key to a number of cases I’ve worked on recently. Once we start becoming aware of the subconscious beliefs we have around self-acceptance and safety, our subconscious blocks to healing tend to dissolve before our eyes, and we start building a completely new relationship with ourself. The healing that unfolds is nothing short of magical. Here is a summary of the process that you can use to be sure that you are able to follow it through and benefit optimally from it: 1. Start with working with the "I accept myself as I am" as detailed in steps 1 - 5. 2. Tap all the things that cause feelings of guilt down to 0, again using the modified setup statement. 3. Repeat the process with "I am safe and protected" for steps 1 - 5, substituting the safety words given for the acceptance words. 4. Tap all the events that caused them to feel unsafe or protected down to 0. A note for anyone who suspects issues with feeling unsafe: When part of us does not feel safe to heal, that part can find a myriad of ways to distract us from really tuning in to the issue in the way we need to in order for EFT to work. If you suspect deep seated issues of feeling unsafe it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED that you work with a practitioner or a trusted friend. Even if you friend does not know much about EFT, so long as they are someone you really trust, their presence may enable that part to feel safe enough to heal. See the section on The Benefits of Having a Healing Buddy if your friend is unfamiliar with EFT.

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Appendix I: Finding Core Issues Anyone who has spent much time learning EFT will know that finding the core issue beneath a chronic illness or recurring pattern in our lives is key to long term healing. While we all agree with this in principle, it is not always as easy in practice to track down what the core issue supporting an illness or pattern actually is. This article contains some thoughts on discovering core issues. Bruce Lipton*, a cell biologist and researcher, has observed that the conscious mind does not start really evaluating incoming information until we reach around 6 or 7 years of age. Prior to that time, everything that we are exposed to is absorbed into our subconscious mind, effectively writing beliefs into our mind like a program being written onto the hard drive of a computer. This is great in terms of us being able to absorb vast quantities of information and learn how to do a huge number of things, however it’s not so good when it comes to absorbing what others have said about us. If someone says “You are so stupid” to a young child, that is written onto their hard drive as a belief, because their conscious mind does not logically evaluate the statement. This means that in our first 6 or 7 years we absorb beliefs about ourselves and the world without our conscious awareness. Because the way we respond to situations later in life is largely determined by these subconscious beliefs, without us even being aware of them, our challenges with physical illness and recurring patterns often rest on top of these beliefs. If we have been working on getting to the bottom of an illness or pattern for some time and find that it is still firmly in place, it may be that we haven’t accessed the early beliefs that the illness or pattern are resting on. If you’ve been doing a lot of work on an issue and thought that you should have resolved it, after clearing issues that happened in your early adult or teenage years, it may be that you need to look to go another layer deeper and track down the origins of how you reacted in your early adult or teenage years. These origins are almost invariably found in situations that arose in your first 6 or 7 years. So knowing that finding the core beliefs is often necessary, the question becomes how can we go about it? Dr Carol Look has shared a series of questions that I find very useful in terms of tracking down core issues. Running through this list of questions and tapping on everything that comes up as a result can be a very effective way of tracking down core issues. The questions can be found in Appendix D. Stephen Daniel, who uses EFT and other modalities to help people to heal from very serious illnesses, believes that the beliefs that support chronic illnesses usually come from one of four groups: •

I’m bad/broken/unlovable

•

People are untrustworthy/will let me down/will hurt me

•

The world is a dangerous place/I’m not safe/I have to protect myself

•

God is out to get me/God can’t love me/I deserve to be punished

Stephen suggests that you ask yourself what specific pictures you have that resonate with any of these beliefs. He asks his client what the earliest memory they have is that resonates with the belief, and then what images, emotions and thoughts or beliefs about themself or the world are associated, and then taps on what comes up. (Source: EFT Specialty Series 2 DVD – Using EFT for Chronic Physical Illness)

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While it can be difficult to see which of these areas we may resonate with at first glance, if we set a clear intention to discover the core issues, we may soon be able to see which belief is underlying our challenges. For myself, I had chronic allergies, and was reacting to a number of foods and chemical substances. When I looked at Stephen Daniel’s belief listing, at first it was hard to resonate with any of them. However when I went back and looked at them, it was obvious to me that I must resonate with the “I’m not safe/I have to protect myself” belief. Doing some EFT around this, and the earliest memory I had associated with this, cleared all my allergic reactions and I haven’t had another one since. It is important however to remember that we may not always be able to jump directly to the core of an issue. Sometimes it is necessary for us to peel off the layers that have built up around the core belief, before we are ready to encounter the actual belief itself. So if you are unable to resonate with any of these core beliefs, relax and trust that if you continue to work on your symptoms or whatever is coming up in the moment, you will get to the core when you are ready to deal with it. Something people regularly ask me is “How do I know what to tap on?”, and then that often leads to “How can I know whether what is coming up is real or just from my imagination?” Working as an EFT practitioner supporting others in their healing, and using EFT by myself, I have come to have enormous respect for the power of our subconscious mind. As a new practitioner I thought that I had to discover all the reasons why a person had an issue, and work hard to figure out the right things to tap on. Before long I was able to see that none of that was necessary. When we have the intention to heal all we have to do is start where we are – with whatever symptom or concern is right in front of us – and tap and follow whatever comes up. So many times I will ask, after tapping a round with someone, “Did anything come up?” and the person will reply with “I remembered something but it’s really small and I’m sure it’s not significant.”, only to find that the “insignificant memory” which came up is the key to resolving the issue. So whether it’s your “imagination” or not, if you can learn to trust that whatever is coming up is the next thing to tap on, you will soon find yourself clearing issues. The only time that I find that this doesn’t work is when it appears that nothing is coming up as you tap. If this is happening, and the issue isn’t clearing, that indicates there is an internal story waiting to be told, that hasn’t yet been heard. To read more about this you can read Clearing Blocks When EFT is not Working for You (Appendix H) and the section When you want to heal but… If you still just don’t know where to get started, I recommend the Simple and Powerful Method that I use myself when I just don’t seem to be able to get started with an issue. This process can appear at first glance to be too simple to be very useful, but I have found time and time again that it is a very effective way to work. When people email me about an issue they are working on, quite often all I do is copy and paste all that they’ve written, inserting the “Even though” and “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” and send it back to them and watch the magic unfold. While it is very helpful to have a good practitioner working with us on the tough issues, if we are working on our own this can help us to be our own practitioner. Once we start tapping the subconscious will give us the rest, just as it would if we were working with a practitioner. If you are using EFT to heal a chronic issue hang in there and keep tapping. Work through the above, trusting that your subconscious will provide you with the answers. Persistence and working towards the core, together with the magic of EFT, can soon see us moving towards freedom in areas that we previously felt totally stuck in. * Note: To explore what Bruce Lipton has written, you can read an interesting four page article on Bruce’s website, in which he recommends energy psychology methods as an excellent way to heal subconscious programs. To read the article go to: http://www.brucelipton.com/article/mind-over-genesthe-new-biology

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Appendix J - Resolving Self Sabotage - Healing Parts That Don't Want to Heal By Jaqui Crooks, EFT Master (reprinted with permission from Jaqui) www.emotional-freedom-technique.net All parts of you have a positive intention, it's just that the strategy they've chosen to achieve that positive intention, is no longer working. Self sabotage comes about when 2 or more parts of you, which may have the same overall intention, are using different methods to achieve that outcome. This means, that as one part of you is succeeding in its aim, another part will try and succeed in its aim, but in a different way. This results in the familiar, push/pull, stop/start of self sabotage. It is possible to work with the part of you that is holding on to the old redundant behaviour, to create more useful, more effective and more creative strategies to achieve the same positive outcome, without creating the battle. Identify an area where you're self sabotaging, or procrastinating. Look for the two opposing strategies, e.g. "I want to get that flyer out, so my business is successful," as opposed to, "I don't want to do that flyer", You get the idea? There are many ways to work with self sabotage and one of the simplest is to have a conversation with the two opposing parts. The parts are so used to you fighting them and/or trying to ignore them that this can be surprisingly successful. Scale the resistance to doing what you really want to do. Start tapping. Even though part of me wants to .......Your words ...... And part of me doesn't, I deeply and completely accept both those parts. Even though part of me wants to ....... And part of me doesn't, I deeply and completely accept both those parts, because they're doing the best they can. Even though part of me wants to ....... And part of me doesn't, and they're doing the best they can and it's not working, I deeply and completely accept both those parts, anyway. Head - Doing the best they can Beginning of Eyebrow - And it's not working Side of eye - I love and accept them anyway Under eye - Part of me wants to, Under nose - And part of me doesn't Chin - They're OK anyway Collarbone - And I'm OK Under arm - I'm doing the best I can too. ET Those parts want the best for me, I'm OK ET It's likely that both parts want me to be safe and happy, I'm OK ET both parts want me to be safe and happy and they're going about it in different ways, I'm Ok and so are they, and we're all doing the best we can. Wanting me to be safe Wanting me to be happy - 61 -

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In different ways I thank them for that And I'd like to invite them To consider Whether that job might be easier If they found a new way to work together ET both parts want the best for me in their different ways, I love and accept them ET both parts have been using lots of energy battling with each other, they're OK ET both parts have been battling, I'd like them to consider getting together and discussing new ways to work together that will fulfil both of their positive intentions, in a safer and healthier way than fighting each other. And I deeply and completely accept all parts of me no matter what they do. Getting together Finding new ways to work together That are safer and healthier And a lot more fun Than battling Thanking them for their hard work in the past And even more for their work in the future When they do it differently Pause, Have a drink of water and check your scale of resistance. As you tapped you may have noticed some lovely tail enders coming up from the parts that don't want you to move forward. Write them down and then tap on them. E.G. ET people will think the flyer's rubbish ET They'll judge me ET no one will read them ET I might be overwhelmed by work When any tail enders are cleared go back to working with the parts. You can use the same statements as before, or change them if that fits better. Keep tapping and checking. You might be very surprised what comes up and even more surprised at the results!

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Appendix K – Tips for when you are having difficulty accessing your feelings (Written by Jo Hainsworth and sourced from http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/access-feelingshainsworth.htm) One of the things I love about EFT is how it’s all ‘through you, not by you’, which means that there are learning opportunities in so many of the sessions we do with other people. I recently did a session with someone by phone that taught me a lot, and I thought there might be others out there who could benefit from some ideas of how to deal with a client who is not in touch with the feelings associated with their memories. The client, who I will call Jane, had several physical challenges but appeared more concerned about her perceived inability to feel. She believed that it was preventing her really making progress on her issues with EFT – she had been tapping for some months on her own. Here are four things that happened that I believe lead to key learning points for those of us working with someone having difficulty accessing their feelings: •

Jane was clearly tapping very forcefully on the points (I picked this up because she said it was difficult to hear what I was saying when she was on the karate point, because she was tapping on the hand holding the phone). When I explained to her that she could approach the tapping in a more nurturing way I could hear something soften in her as she tapped.

•

In addition to tapping forcefully Jane was putting a lot of emphasis on all the words as she said them, all with the same loud tone, whether we were tapping on anger or sadness or something else. When I suggested to her that she might consider softening her tone a bit, and talking more as if she would to her child if she was upset, I could sense something soften even more as we did the next round of tapping. Interestingly when I suggested she could be mindful of her tone she immediately realised herself that the combination of the forceful tapping and loud voice meant that she was using the actual process of tapping to distract herself from any feelings that could potentially make themselves known to her while we were tapping. This felt like a significant realisation to both of us.

•

Jane next expressed frustration at not being able to feel, claiming that she was an intellectual person and had been all her life, and it was a lot easier for her to think than to feel. I asked her if she could recall a time in her life, any time at all, whether negative or positive, where she had strong feelings. She immediately started to tell me a story of a time when something happened that made her so happy she couldn’t stop jumping for joy, so we tapped a round on Even though I was so happy I couldn’t stop jumping up and down… After tapping a round through the points with so happy I couldn’t stop jumping up and down, we circled back through the points again, and I started to gently reframe, eventually introducing the thoughts I can’t feel my feelings … I was SO happy … I can’t feel my feelings and ending with I CAN feel my feelings. Again a softening occurred and it was clear that Jane had had a shift on this issue.

•

Later on in the session, after exploring quite a bit on the theme of fear, which she had begun to feel physically in her stomach, Jane expressed frustration at not being able to access the memories that were resulting in the fear. I asked her to stop tapping for a moment, close her eyes, put her hands gently on her stomach, and just quietly, as if talking to a frightened child, ask that place in her stomach what made it so afraid. A little voice responded with a statement and immediately an image of an incident earlier in her life came to Jane’s mind, and we proceeded to tap on this event.

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If you are having trouble accessing your own feelings while doing EFT, or working with a client who has this difficulty, perhaps you could try some of the following based on learning points from this case: 1.

Watch to see how you or the client is tapping – is it in a nurturing way, or is the tapping being done in a way that is potentially distracting from feeling what is coming up as you or they tap? Try experimenting with different ways of tapping. Remember that the aim of EFT is to reset the body’s reaction to difficult experiences – tapping in a gentle and nurturing way, while being tuned into the problem, can often shift something much more quickly. Think of it as if you are giving yourself a gentle massage on the meridian points, as you tap down the body, rather than banging on a door angrily demanding entry.

2.

Listen for the tone of voice being used during the tapping. Are you or the client so immersed in the process of repeating the phrases that all your energy is tied up in the process, protecting you from allowing feelings to surface as you tap?

3.

If you or the client are convinced that you cannot feel, play with tapping on some positive events in your past where you had strong feelings, and gently reframe the idea that you or they can’t feel.

4.

If you reach a point where you are frustrated because you are aware of a feeling, but it seems to be stuck and you can’t find anything else to tap on associated to it, stop tapping for a few moments. Close your eyes and gently place your hand on the body part that is holding the feeling and ask, as if talking with a frightened child, “What makes you feel so ___?” I have started to incorporate this into the EFT I do since learning a fabulous skill called “Focusing”, originated by Gene Gendlin. This approach often yields more useful material to tap on. You can learn more about Focusing at www.selfheal4me.com.

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Appendix L – The Benefits of having a Healing Buddy While being able to sit down and do EFT on our own as issues come up is so important and empowering, it can also be really beneficial to have a healing buddy to work with on a regular basis. One of the great things about all EFT is that your healing buddy doesn’t even have to be in the room with you – it can be anyone anywhere in the world, on the other end of the phone or a Skype or MSN line. When we are working on something important to us it’s easy to get bogged down in our own process, and to hit roadblocks that seem impassable. Sharing what we are working on with a healing buddy can really help us to find other avenues to explore with our healing. I’ve recently been working on a big issue for me, and tapping on all sorts of things that could have been contributing to the issue. However it wasn’t until I was talking on the phone with a friend who also does EFT for herself one day, and she asked me a question about how I was feeling about something, that all of a sudden a thought popped into my mind of a possible contributor to the issue. As I explained it to my friend, all of a sudden a whole series of thoughts unravelled around it, and in the end I had to get off the phone and go and do some work with them because I was very close to tears (a common sign for me that I’m onto something big.) Two hours later I had unloaded an enormous amount of sadness, guilt and grief that I had obviously been unwittingly carrying around for years, that had just recently been triggered by something I had read. The next day the physical symptoms that had accompanied the issue began to fade. Most people have heard the old adage “A problem shared is a problem halved.” Well it may well be that the problem is more than halved when you have shared it with a healing buddy who is able to reflect back to you what you’ve said and suggest other possible leads from their perspective. In the example I gave above, I hadn’t seen that guilt played a role at all, and I initially resisted the idea when my friend suggested that I might be feeling guilty about something. But I made a note of it anyway, and sure enough when I tapped on the possible guilt, a floodgate opened and all sorts of feelings tumbled out. Sometimes just having the perspective of someone removed from a situation can open doors that lead to healing, which are obscured from our view because we are too close to them. If you would like to have a healing buddy but don’t know anyone who is doing any of these methods who you could work with, consider joining one of the online groups that support people doing different methods of healing. If you would like an EFT buddy you could try posting a request on the TapIntoHeaven Yahoo group (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/TapIntoHeaven/) or on one of the EFT Forums (http://www.emofree.com/forum_landing.htm). And if you would like a buddy but something is holding you back from getting out there and finding one, consider tapping on your feelings around this, and any limiting beliefs that you might have that are standing in the road of you finding a healing buddy! If you do decide to work with a healing buddy, here are a few tips that can help you (and them) to be a good partner for healing: •

Remember to speak quietly and be supportive of whatever comes up. Your job is to listen and help your buddy find their own answers, rather than to be a practitioner and try to solve their problems for them. This honours your buddy’s ability to find their own answers.

•

Reflect back things that your buddy has repeated several times, or that seem to be especially charged, when they are talking with you. They may not even be aware that they’ve said something once, let alone several times, and your reflecting it back will help them to see what they can focus on with EFT.

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•

Consider introducing some humour at times to lighten things up – doing our healing is a serious thing to do, but that doesn’t mean we have to be serious the whole time, and sometimes lightening the tone a bit when someone is feeling bogged down is just what is needed to help them to relax and allow the answers to float up from within them.

•

Don’t ever tell someone any of the following: “you shouldn’t feel like that”, “that’s not true”, “no I don’t think that’s important”, “ you need to get over this” – they all invalidate how the person is feeling, and risk making the person feel small or stupid or a myriad of other things you don’t want them to feel as their healing buddy

•

Don’t even consider trying to analyse or try to discover the “real” reason for how your buddy is feeling. Leave the EFT process to do the sorting for them!

•

Don’t ever argue with your buddy when you feel that they are expressing something that you think is irrational. A lot of our beliefs are irrational, but arguing with them logically is like trying to reason with a 2 year old having a temper tantrum!

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Appendix M – Surrogate Tapping Surrogate tapping (tapping on behalf of another person or an animal) is one of the least understood aspects of EFT, which raises the most questions for newcomers. This section deals with some of the common stumbling blocks with surrogate tapping. Do I have to have their permission? This is one of the most debated aspects of EFT, and a case can be made either way, so at the end of the day it is a personal decision. Here are some factors to consider in making your decision: •

Many people believe that if it is OK to say a prayer for someone without their permission, then it is also OK to tap for them without their permission, as they perceive there to be little difference between the two. From this perspective, we think helpful and unhelpful thoughts about people regularly during the day without their permission, and it is therefore OK to do so while tapping on behalf on them.

•

Others feel that it is very important to honour others’ right to make their own decisions, and to respect that they may not want assistance, and to only surrogately tap for other adults with their conscious permission, reserving surrogate tapping for children and animals who they already make other decisions for due to their age and dependence on them.

How should I word it? There are two main ways that you can word the tapping phrases when tapping for another person or animal: •

In the first approach you simply set the intention that you are tapping on behalf of the other person and use the same phrases as you would if you were tapping on the issue for yourself. As you tap through the points, you tap with the phrases in the first person (“Even though I…”) , knowing that it is for the other person or animal.

•

In the second approach you modify the phrases to be in the third person. For example, “Even though Bob has stubbed his left big toe and he’s really upset, he deeply and completely loves and accepts himself.” Using this approach, you then tap through the points with “Bob stubbed his toe and he’s really upset.”

The important thing to remember is that EFT works by tuning in to the issue and tapping. The words we use are simply to assist us to tune in to the issue. When we tap surrogately for someone else on a complex issue it is important to remember that we need to stay open to thoughts coming into our mind giving us clues as to what to tap on next. This works exactly the same when tapping for someone else as tapping for ourselves. To explore this idea more read the section It’s just not working for me. Do I need to imagine tapping on them too? No! When you are tapping on behalf of someone else you simply intend that the tapping be for them, and tap on your own meridian points. If you are having to concentrate on saying the phrases, tap on the points on your body AND imagine tapping on theirs too, there is no room at all for thoughts to bubble into your mind to lead you as to what to tap on next. See the section on Concentrating too hard for more details on this. Note that it is not necessary to be near the person or animal you are tapping for.

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Tips for Surrogate Tapping If you are going to do some tapping for a child, an animal, or someone who you have a relationship with, it’s a good idea to first do some tapping for yourself with any concerns you have about the situation. This ensures that you are clear to allow their issues to really benefit from the tapping, instead of getting caught up with any issues you might have about the situation or relationship. This is particularly important if you are tapping for a child or animal, because they often pick up on stress in the family, and sometimes their behaviour is a direct result of them feeling your own stress. This is especially the case for young babies with parents who are under pressure. It’s common for someone who is experiencing problems within a relationship with someone close to decide they want to do some tapping for the other person. In this case it’s also a very good idea to do tapping for yourself too. A relationship is the interaction between you and the other person, and so any tapping you do to clear any frustrations or concerns that you have about the relationship can really help not only you but also the relationship too. When we have unresolved emotions to do with a relationship there is a tendency for them to be triggered when we are interacting with the other person in times of stress. This results in us continually reacting to what the person says and does, rather than responding to them in a calm and centred manner. There was an excellent example of this in a posting on forum, where a woman was experiencing major stress within her relationship with her husband, who had told her that he felt they were completely incompatible and that he could no longer live with her as her husband. After doing some EFT for her own frustrations and concerns, her formerly very angry husband apologised for “being dumb and stupid and taking so long to see it”, and then said by way of explanation for his turn around: "It's EFT. You just handle me so much better. Every time I fight you I just come against the wall of your love." When we clear our unresolved emotions, we make room for miracles to happen! While it’s much easier in theory than in practice it is also important to remember, when doing any tapping for someone else, that doing healing for others tends to be far more effective if we are not attached to the outcome. If we are tapping with a particular outcome in mind it can suggest that we have emotions tied up in the outcome that we need to resolve in order to be able to accept the other person as they, and whatever decisions they choose to make, whether they are the decisions we would want them to make for themselves or not. We are never able to truly know what is best for another person and so tapping with the intention of them healing in their own way at their own pace is the best way to ensure that we get ourselves out of the road, and allow the EFT to work its magic. There is no greater gift we can give another than the trust that they will find their own way in life.

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Appendix N – Difficulty using SUDs Scale One area of EFT that seems to cause difficulty for some people is the instruction to estimate the severity of the issue on the 0 - 10 scale, known in the EFT world as the SUDs scale. The key to this is found in what “SUDs” stands for – Subjective Units of Distress. The most important word here is subjective. We use the 0 – 10 scale simply so that we have a measure to see whether or not we are making progress, and how much progress we are making. There is no need for precision using this scale, it is simply a very subjective guideline. EFT Master Lindsay Kenny suggests that if you have difficulty estimating the severity on the 0 to 10 scale, that you can try saying and completing the following sentence quickly without thinking about it: "Even though I don't know what my intensity level is, if I had to guess I'd say it was at a.....". (Source: http://www.emofree.com/articles2/faq-lindsay.htm) Measuring the level of distress or pain is not the only use of the 0 – 10 scale. You can also use it as a measure of the truth of a statement or belief and this can be a really good guideline as to when you need to keep tapping. For example, if the issue you are working on is a limiting belief (“I’m worthless”, for instance), you could measure how true it feels to you when you start, and then keep coming back to measure it on the scale after you’ve worked with some of the specific events that have contributed to you having this belief. It is important to realise when using the scale in this way that you may actually come up with two different numbers – one your logical mind assigns (“of course I’m not worthless”) and the other how it feels emotionally to you. It’s the emotional response that we are looking for as a guideline to whether or not we are done on an issue. When working with children under about 8 years of age, it is easier to simply ask them to indicate with their hands how big the issue is for them. You will often find that at the start they reach their hands out as wide as they can for something that was very traumatic to them, and the hands come in as you re-visit it after tapping on each aspect. If you are having real difficulty assigning an intensity to the issue you are working on it’s often an indication that you need to get more specific. It can be very difficult to see movement on the scale on a really global issue (for example, “I have terrible self-esteem”). So if you are having difficulty establishing the intensity on the scale, or you are not seeing it coming down, consider that you may need to be more specific with what you are working on. See the explanation on the Table Top metaphor for more details on the importance of this. If you need some ideas on how to get more specific try one of the following series of questions. It is often helpful to answer the questions without thinking about how you will apply EFT to them, then go back and make them into setup statements and assign an intensity level to them: 1.

The Simple and Powerful Method for Working on your Own.

2.

Dr Carol Look’s questions in Appendix D.

3.

EFT Master Rue Hass’ questions for physical ailments in Appendix E.

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Appendix O – Sample Self Healing Session EFT’s simplicity can be the hardest thing to get our heads around. We aren’t used to things being simple, we are used to having to try to figure them out with our minds! This appendix gives an example of how a self healing session with EFT might go. Reading through this might give you some ideas on how to get started with EFT, if you are overwhelmed with all the information and just not sure where to start on an issue. Note however that simply skimming through this without first reading the body of the book may make it appear more complex than it actually is, so ensure that you familiarise yourself with all the basics, and try them on some simple issues, before reading this section through. Bob has a terrible pain in his back, and it’s hard to concentrate on anything else. He’s read “You CAN Heal with EFT” and is a bit overwhelmed by all the information, and not sure where to start. Here’s an example of how his tapping might unfold: Starting where he is Bob tunes in to what’s going through his mind about the issue right now. There are two things vying for attention: 1.

Bob is feeling overwhelmed and doesn’t know where to start.

2.

The pain is so bad it’s difficult to concentrate on anything else.

Even though I’m feeling overwhelmed, and I just don’t know where to start, I deeply and completely love and accept myself” x3 on karate point Top of Head: Eyebrow: Side of Eye: Under Eye: Under Nose: Chin point: Collarbone: Under Arm:

Feeling really overwhelmed Just don’t know where to start What if I don’t do it right? This pain is so bad, what am I going to do if this doesn’t work? Feeling really overwhelmed Just don’t know where to start Worried it won’t work Feeling really overwhelmed

Bob realises that he didn’t stop to get a rating on the 0 to 10 scale when he started, but he’s feeling a bit calmer about it now, and his focus moves to how difficult it is to concentrate on anything other than the pain. Even though it’s difficult to concentrate on anything other than this throbbing pain in the right side of my lower back, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. X3 on karate point Through all the points: Difficult to concentrate because of this pain in right side of my lower back. All of a sudden Bob finds himself thinking about the stress he’s been under at work ever since his new boss took over. Even though I’ve been so stressed since John took over at work, I …. (For the rest of this session the setup statements will be noted, but Bob would also tap through the points, throwing in any other thoughts or feelings that came to mind as he tapped.) Bob notices he has just done a big sigh and the pain in his back feels a little less intense. Because he is again thinking about the specific feeling in his back, he decides to tap another round on that: - 70 -

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Even though I have this throbbing pain in the right side of my lower back, I … When Bob checks in to the intensity at the end of the round he notices that his lower back isn’t so sore now, but his left shoulder blade feels like someone is poking their finger into it. (Note that this is an example of Chasing the Pain – a well known phenomenon with EFT where as we resolve some energy blockages, others come to our attention. It’s a good sign that the EFT is working.) Bob assesses the intensity as an 8 on the 0 to 10 scale. Even though it feels like someone is poking their finger into my left shoulder blade, I …. Bob re-assesses the intensity, and feels it’s gone down to a 5. He taps another round with: Even though it still feels like someone is poking their finger into my left shoulder blade, I …. When Bob reassesses the intensity, he is concerned to find it is still a 5. He remembers reading that if the intensity of something physical isn’t coming down it’s a good idea to explore the emotional component. He really isn’t sure where to start with this, but remembers the Simple and Powerful Method for Working on your Own in this book. He sits down and follows the process. The following is an excerpt of what he writes (the parts of the process are shown underlined). Describe the challenge you are having in as much detail as you can I’ve had a pain in the lower right side of my back for several months. It gets worse as the week goes by, and seems to ease off a little in the weekends. Some mornings it’s really hard to get to get out of bed and I have had to take a few days off work, because it is too painful to sit at the office all day. How does it feel to have this challenge in your life? I’m fed up with having this back pain. It seems like it’s taking over my whole life. I can’t concentrate on anything else, it’s making it really hard to work. What is your theory as to why you still have this challenge in your life? I have no idea!!! When did the problem first occur in your life? It’s been going on for a while now. Thinking about it, I was fine at the conference at the end of May, even though I sat a lot that week. It must have started soon after that, probably early June. What was happening at that time (see above question)? Early June, let’s see, my new boss started early in June. Mmm, come to think of it I’ve this back pain since a few days after he started. What fears, worries or concerns do you have in relation to this issue? I’m worried that if it keeps up like this I’m not going to be able to do my job anymore. And I’m really struggling to lift up my daughter. I really don’t know what’s going to happen if I can’t sort this out. Is there anything else that comes to mind as you write about this that you could include? Nothing I can think of.

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Bob then takes what he has written, and comes up with the following setup statements, simply by adding “Even though” at the start of the sentences, and “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” at the end of them: •

Even though I’ve had a pain in the lower right side of my back for several months, I deeply and completely love and accept myself…

•

Even though it gets worse as the week goes by, and seems to ease off a little in the weekends, I ….

•

Even though some mornings it’s really hard to get to get out of bed and I have had to take a few days off work, because it is too painful to sit at the office all day, I …

•

Even though I’m fed up with having this back pain, it seems like it’s taking over my whole life and I can’t concentrate on anything else, it’s making it really hard to work, I …

•

Even though I have no idea why I still have this back pain, I ….

•

Even though this back pain started soon after John took over at work, I …

•

Even though I’m worried that if it keeps up like this, I’m not going to be able to do my job anymore, I…

•

Even though I’m really struggling to lift up my daughter and I really don’t know what’s going to happen if I can’t sort this out, I …

Bob taps through each of the statements, and checks back in with the pain in his shoulder and back, (which seems to keep moving around a bit each time he checks), after each round, until he taps the statement about his boss starting work. All of a sudden he realises that his boss really reminds him of how his father treated him when he was younger, and how difficult it was to stand up to his father, especially when Bob knew his father was being unreasonable. Remembering that it is important to be specific with the tapping, Bob asks himself what his earliest memory of his father treating him like that is and he remembers a time when was four years old. He creates a tapping statement that describes what happened, and as he taps on it a memory surfaces of an incident at a staff meeting soon after his new boss started, when his boss said something that was clearly not true but he felt unable to stand up for himself. Bob decides to create a Choices Statement, and comes up with the following: Even though I’ve found it so hard to stand up for myself ever since I was little, I choose to see that I’m an adult now, and it’s OK for me to stand up for my truth. Bob taps a couple of rounds with the statement, and lets out a huge sigh, and notices that the pain in his back and shoulder have completely gone. He thinks about the stress at work, and realises that he never talked to his boss to let him know that John didn’t have the correct information that day at the meeting, and resolves to talk with him on Monday morning. When they talk, John admits to him that he’s been struggling with knowing how to deal with him because Bob seemed to be very defensive around him, no matter what he said, and he thanks Bob for helping him to understand why. The back pain becomes a thing of the past, and Bob and John actually start enjoying working together. If you’ve read this account of a tapping session, and you still aren’t sure where to start, try the tapping sequence on the next page. Tap three times on the karate point with each setup statement, then tap through the points as detailed.

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Tapping Sequence if you REALLY don’t know where to start Even though I REALLY don’t know where to start, and this all seems just too complicated, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Top of Head: Eyebrow: Side of Eye: Under Eye: Under Nose: Chin point: Collarbone: Under Arm:

Feeling really overwhelmed Just don’t know where to start All seems too complicated What if I don’t get it right? Feeling really overwhelmed Just don’t know where to start Worried it won’t work It’s all just too complicated

If anything came to mind while you were tapping that is more specific, tap a round or two with the thought or feeling or memory that came to mind before continuing. Even though this all seems too complicated, I choose to relax and see that any time I pick up a new skill, it can seem a bit overwhelming at first. When I first started to learn to drive a car, it was unbelievable – all those things to remember, and yet now I can drive without even thinking about it. I choose to trust that once I’ve done a bit of EFT it will be as easy as driving the car. Top of Head: Eyebrow: Side of Eye: Under Eye: Under Nose: Chin point: Collarbone: Under Arm: Top of Head: Eyebrow: Side of Eye: Under Eye: Under Nose: Chin point: Collarbone: Under Arm: Top of Head: Eyebrow: Side of Eye: Under Eye: Under Nose: Chin point: Collarbone: Under Arm:

All seems too complicated Just don’t know where to start All seems too complicated What if I don’t get it right? Feeling really overwhelmed Just don’t know where to start Worried it won’t work It’s all just too complicated I choose to relax And see that any time I pick up a new skill It can seem a bit overwhelming at first Driving was like this at first There was so much to remember And now I can drive without really thinking about it I choose to trust that I can do this I choose to trust that I can do this I choose to relax And trust that I can do this I choose to relax And go with the flow Driving was this difficult once too And now I can drive without really thinking about it I choose to trust that I can do this I choose to relax and go with the flow

Now take a deep breath, and re-assess how you are feeling about trying some tapping on another issue. If you are still feeling concerned, ask yourself what your earliest memory is of feeling really uncomfortable learning something new and try tapping on that then re-assessing how you are feeling.

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Appendix P – A Structure for Healing - The Personal Peace Procedure Gary Craig's Personal Peace Procedure provides an excellent structure within which we can systematically approach our healing. For some the procedure works brilliantly, helping them to move mountains by tapping on one or two specific troublesome events each day over a period of time. Others however can find themselves frustrated with issues that resulted from events they have tapped on seeming to return. For some reason some events seem to completely clear just by tapping on the event itself, but for others it is necessary to do an inventory of the writing on the walls that was created (or reinforced) by our perception of the event. If you would like to have a structured method within which to work with your healing, try using the original Personal Peace Procedure which can be found on the next page. If you have tried this for a while and find that it’s not clearing issues permanently for you, you can also try this alternate approach to the PPP. 1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6. 7.

Take the list of bothersome events that you created when you started working with the PPP. Pick an event that still causes you concern, that you would like to work with. Now make a list of all the possible beliefs that the event could have generated in you, (in particular anything that could have formed part of your identity). Note that these beliefs will be based on your particular perception and not necessarily on reality (as you may have interpreted meaning in others’ action which they didn’t mean). Now make a list of any symptoms you currently have (physical or unsupportive behaviours) that the event could have resulted in. Next ask yourself “What does this remind me of from earlier in my life?”, and list down any events that come to mind, with associated beliefs and symptoms Tap the event using the Movie Technique (Appendix C), the Tell the Story Technique (Appendix B), or if necessary the Tearless Trauma Technique (Appendix A). Now tap on everything in the three lists that you created above (points 3 – 5 above), both separately and all jumbled up together, to tap out any possible connections.

Here is a simple example to show how this can work: 1. Event = Mum telling me not to cry when I was upset when my dog died 2. Beliefs: • how I feel doesn't matter • crying is bad • I shouldn't express my feelings • etc 3. Outstanding symptoms: • when I get upset I get a headache • I can't express how I'm feeling when I'm upset • I never cry, even when something really sad happens • etc 4. That time when I was really small and X happened and Mum got angry with me (+ associated beliefs and symptoms from that) 5. Tapping - first the movie technique for each event, then mixing the messages and symptoms and event up. For example: Even though Mum told me not to cry when my dog died, and now I believe that how I feel doesn't matter and I can't express how I'm feeling when I'm upset, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. etc While this expanded approach to the PPP takes longer to do some find that for core events that have resulted in us taking on certain beliefs, particularly about our identity, are much more thoroughly cleared using this approach than they are by using the original PPP. - 74 -

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Original Personal Peace Procedure (Written by Gary Craig and sourced* from http://www.emofree.com/tutorial/tutormthirteen.htm) The Personal Peace Procedure that I'm about to unfold for you is not just a way to "feel a little more peaceful." Properly understood, this technique should be the healing centerpiece for every person on earth. Every physician, therapist, spiritual counselor and personal performance coach in the world should be using it as a leading tool for helping others (and themselves). In essence, the Personal Peace Procedure involves making a list of every bothersome SPECIFIC EVENT in one's life and systematically EFT'ing their impacts out of existence. By diligently doing this we can pull out every negative tree from our emotional forests and thus eliminate major causes of our emotional and physical ailments. This, of course, propels each individual toward personal peace which, in turn, contributes mightily toward world peace. Here are some uses.... 1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6.

As "homework" between sessions with a physician or therapist. This is certain to accelerate and deepen the healing process. As a daily procedure to clear out a lifetime of accumulated emotional debris. This will enhance selfimage, reduce self-doubt and provide a profound sense of freedom. As a means to eliminate a major contributor (if not the sole cause) of a serious disease. Somewhere within one's specific events are those angers, fears and traumas that are manifesting as disease. By addressing them all, you will likely cover those responsible for the disease. As a useful substitute for finding core issues. If you neutralize all the specific issues you will have automatically included core issues. As a means for consistent relaxation. To become an example to others as to what is possible.

This simple concept should shift the entire healing field. I can state it in a sentence... MOST OF OUR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PROBLEMS ARE CAUSED (OR CONTRIBUTED TO) BY OUR UNRESOLVED SPECIFIC EVENTS, THE VAST MAJORITY OF WHICH CAN BE EASILY HANDLED BY EFT. Not bad for a mere engineer, eh? That sentence, if adopted by every healing practitioner and patient, would likely (1) dramatically increase our healing rates while (2) precipitously dropping our costs. Please note that this idea completely ignores chemical causes such as those propounded by the medical model. That's because I have repeatedly seen improvements in clients where drugs and other chemical solutions have failed miserably. This is not to say, however, that drugs, proper nutrition and the like don't have their place. Indeed they do. They can often be vital. In my experience, however, our unresolved specific events are nearer the foundational cause for illness than anything else. Thus they deserve our primary attention.. How obvious! Experienced EFT'ers are well aware of EFT's ability to cleanly wipe the negative specific events off of our mental walls. This is the area wherein our highest success ratios appear. To date, however, we have focused our efforts on those negative specific events that underlie a given ailment such as a phobia, headache or traumatic incident. This is good...very good...and we should continue doing so. On the other hand, why not use EFT on ALL the other specific events that are behind our more generalized (but VERY important) issues such as (to name a few)....

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Self-image Anxiety Depression Persistent insomnia Addictions Compulsions Feelings of abandonment As you eliminate the emotional baggage from your specific events you will, of course, have less and less internal conflict for your system to deal with. Less internal conflict translates into a higher level of personal peace and less emotional and physical suffering. For many, this procedure will likely result in the complete cessation of lifelong issues that other methods have not touched. How's that for peace in a paragraph? The same applies to physical ailments as well. I'm talking here about everything from headaches, breathing difficulties and digestive disorders to AIDS, MS and Cancer. It is becoming more widely accepted that our physical maladies are caused (or contributed to) by unresolved angers, traumas, guilt, grief and the like. I have had many discussions with physicians in recent years and more and more of them echo emotional strife as a major cause of serious diseases. Until now, however, there hasn't been an effective way to eliminate these health bandits. We can mask them with drugs, of course, but true cures have been hard to find. Fortunately, EFT and its many cousins now provide easy and elegant tools that will aid the serious health practitioner in killing the root causes of disease...instead of the patient. What I share here is NOT a substitute for quality EFT training NOR is it a substitute for quality help from a masterful EFT practitioner. Rather, it is a tool that, properly applied, is capable of wide ranging relief (quality training or quality assistance will add to its effectiveness). Its simplicity and far reaching effectiveness give it candidacy as a mandatory method for anyone seeking help for even the most difficult of problems. . I know that's a bold statement but I've been at this for over a decade now and have seen so many impressive results over such a wide variety of issues that this statement is easy, if not essential, to make. The method here is simple (I'm assuming you already know how to apply EFT)..... 1. Make a list of every bothersome specific event you can remember. If you don't find at least 50 you are either going at this half-heartedly or you have been living on some other planet. Many people will find hundreds. 2. While making your list you may find that some events don't seem to cause you any current discomfort. That's OK. List them anyway. The mere fact that you remember them suggests a need for resolution. 3. Give each specific event a title....as though it was a mini-movie. Examples: Dad hit me in the kitchen--I stole Suzie's sandwich--I almost slipped and fell into the Grand Canyon--My third grade class ridiculed me when I gave that speech--Mom locked me in a closet for 2 days--Mrs. Adams told me I was stupid. 4. When the list is complete, pick out the biggest redwoods in your negative forest and apply EFT to each of them until you either laugh about it or "can't think about it any more." Be sure to notice any aspects that may come up and consider them separate trees in your negative forest. Apply EFT to them accordingly. Be sure to keep after each event until it is resolved. If you cannot get a 0-10 intensity level on a particular movie then assume you are repressing it and apply 10 full rounds of EFT on it from every angle you can think of. This gives you a high possibility for resolving it. After the big redwoods have been removed, go to the next biggest trees. - 76 -

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5. Do at least one movie (specific event) per day...preferably three...for 3 months. It only takes minutes per day. At this rate you will have resolved 90 to 270 specific events in 3 months. Then notice how your body feels better. Note, too, how your "threshold for getting upset" is much lower. Note how your relationships are better and how many of your therapy type issues just don't seem to be there any more. Revisit some of those specific events and notice how those previously intense incidences have faded into nothingness. Note any improvements in your blood pressure, pulse and breathing ability. I ask you to consciously notice these things because, unless you do, the quality healing you will have undergone will seem so subtle that you may not notice it. You may even dismiss it saying, "Oh well, it was never much of a problem anyway." This happens repeatedly with EFT and thus I bring it to your awareness. 6. If you are taking medications, you may feel the need to discontinue them. Please do so ONLY under a qualified physicians advice. It is my hope that the Personal Peace Procedure becomes a worldwide routine. A few minutes per day will make a monumental difference in school performance, relationships, health and our quality of life. But these are meaningless words unless others (you) put the idea into practice. I prefaced this article with a quote from my good friend, Howard Wight. I repeat it again below for emphasis... "If you are ultimately going to do something important that will make a real difference...do it now" Personal Peace to all, Gary

(* This article has been included in accordance with Gary Craig’s Copyright rules, which can be found at the following location on the internet: http://www.emofree.com/FAQ/useEFTmaterials.htm)

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Appendix Q – Healing and the Inner Child So often we seem to be going along just fine with healing our issues, then all of a sudden the brakes go on, or we feel like we've hit a brick wall. Or alternately, everything seems to go well as we do our healing sessions, but when we look back we see that our behaviour and beliefs haven't actually changed at all, and we are stuck in the same old patterns. When this happens it's often because we have failed to take into account that there is more to us than meets the eye. This article addresses one of the most important aspects of us for us to understand on our healing journey - the inner child. When we refer to ourselves we are usually referring to the voice in our head that tells us what we like, what we don't like, that has opinions (about just about everything!!!) etc. But on a closer look we realise it's like there is a whole committee of entities inside us. The most prominent of these is often what is known as the inner critic or superego or inner parent. As with the old adage "a squeaky wheel gets the grease", this is where we often put most of our attention. While getting to grips with this aspect of ourselves is very important, this article instead addresses another aspect of us that we often fail to give sufficient attention to, because it doesn't call as loudly as the inner critic. Just because it's not talking as loudly however, does not mean it doesn't have quite a lot of control over us. In fact we may not be able to heal our issues completely without at some stage turning some serious attention to our inner child. Different healing methods and spiritual traditions refer to this aspect of us by various names. The Soul Child or Wounded Child, or simply the Inner Child, are some of the names it goes by. It is an aspect of us which fragmented off and has stayed stuck in time, out of touch with the fact that we have grown and our circumstances have changed. Part of our journey includes learning how to be a good parent to our inner child, to help it to heal and in doing so enable it to mature and be fully integrated into our psyche. So how can we achieve this? Like with any hurt child the first step is opening up the lines of communication, which requires that our inner child feels loved and that she or he feels that they can trust us. Just like with an actual child who has been wounded we need to approach this carefully and respectfully, not forcing our will on this tender part of ourselves. EFT gives wonderful ways to make this easier, however you can also use other methods to gain this trust. If you are wanting to connect with a young inner child, one of the simplest ways is to use drawing. Simply talk as if you are talking to a real child, tell him or her how much you love them, that you understand that they are hurting, and that you'd like to help them if you can. Then 'give them' a pen, or preferably some crayons or coloured pencils, and ask them to draw a picture to show you how they feel. If you are working instead with a teenage inner child, you may find it easier to get them to talk by writing rather than drawing, particularly if you felt uncomfortable about your ability to draw as a teenager. You can then do a session with whatever messages arise from the drawing or writing. A powerful way to work is to, at the start of a session, invite your inner child to join you and to tap on the inside, as you do it on the outside. If you do this it can be very effective if you use "we" instead of "I", and "us" instead of "me", to include your inner child. This is sometimes a very simple but powerful means to shift sadness, hurt and anger that have been held for so long inside. One particularly important time to be mindful of the inner child is when you have a sudden change in mood as you are in the midst of an EFT session. This often indicates that your inner child has been triggered, and can be a good time to tap and talk and listen to your inner child. And remember - if it feels like a part of you is in the midst of a two year old temper tantrum, reasoning with that part of you is unlikely to prove useful! Instead, use whatever means you have to engage that part of you, just as you would with an actual child in this situation.

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Another time to consider the inner child is if you feel stuck with what you are tapping on. A conversation with your inner child may reveal what it is that you actually need to be addressing, or another angle to address the issue from. Simply 'giving' your inner child the opportunity to draw a picture at this stage can result in major clarification, and help your inner child to feel like you care about what it needs. Or if you are dealing with an older inner child, simply opening up the lines of communication and listening without trying to convince them they are silly to feel the way they are may move mountains for you. If you feel stuck in your healing or unsure which direction to take next, or you just simply don't feel like doing it at all, consider checking in with your inner child and you may find it all becomes a lot easier and more complete. Note that if you want to try this but feel some fear as to what you might discover, this topic is covered in Appendix R.

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Appendix R – When it’s just too scary to go there… You are tapping along working on an issue by yourself and all of a sudden a huge wall of fear or resistance rises up inside you. It feels like it’s going to engulf you, like it’s too much to handle, so you pull back and feel you just don’t want to go there right now... Is there anything you can do to make this process easier working on your own? Fortunately yes! This article contains simple but powerful ideas on how you can approach the sort of intense emotion that occasionally comes up when getting close to the core of a big issue. When we are getting close to the core of a major issue in our life, or a recurring pattern that has gone on for as long as we can remember, it’s mostly likely that we will find the source of the issue early in our life (if you want to read more about this, see Appendix I - Finding Core Issues.) For this reason, the emotions that come up while we are working on our own can be quite intense. I’ve had times where I’ve been doing EFT on my own and I’ve hit a wall of fear and just haven’t wanted to continue, because it just feels way too scary to go there on my own. However I’ve recently discovered that if I can keep these feelings in perspective I am able to continue with the tapping and make huge breakthroughs, without needing someone else to sit with me. As a young child we are totally dependent on the adults around us to keep us safe and help us to feel secure. Many things can happen that threaten our feeling of safety or security which feel huge to a child, which don’t seem that big from the perspective of an adult. When we are dependent on a big person to take care of us it can be easy for us to feel that something is life threatening if it results in the big person withdrawing their approval. So something that to us as an adult appears to be quite insignificant could have resulted in intense feelings of fear for us as a young child. If you find that it’s just too scary to go there, there are three things that I’ve found that can be really helpful when working on your own on in this sort of situation: Accepting the fear The first and most important thing is to accept the feelings inside you – accept that part of you that is scared to continue. If we try to continue healing without this level of acceptance of something inside of us that is very frightened, we are unlikely to get the co-operation we need from all the parts inside us to heal the issue. I recently had a powerful example of this. I was working on an issue that suddenly became very intense. I still wasn’t aware of what was driving the feelings, but hit a huge wall of resistance to continuing. It felt like 100% pure fear and that there was no going forward. So I spoke to that part of me that was afraid, and when it didn’t feel like anything was shifting, I decided to stop the healing session and wait to continue it later when I would have the opportunity to sit with a friend to support me. I lay down to rest for a while, and all of a sudden I realised that with fully accepting the fear inside me, it had shifted, and it now felt OK to continue with the session. This may seem too simple, however in my experience the feelings inside of us that have long been out of our awareness simply need to be fully heard, and then they are able to be resolved and let go of.

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Keeping it in perspective The next way to approach this that I find useful is to realise that as intense as the emotions you are feeling are, they are most likely the emotions of a very young child. When we can see that the proportion of what we are feeling is different as an adult to what it was to a young child, we are more likely to be able to hold that space inside that is afraid, without being engulfed in the fear. When we can remember that we are an adult doing this healing, with all the resources that we now have, and no longer totally dependent on our parents for our survival, we can sometimes hold the emotions long enough to let them be heard, felt and dissipate. Being a parent to the inner child As a child we just wanted someone to fully listen to us, to understand how it was we were feeling. When that has happened in a particularly intense emotional situation for us as a child, that need to be heard is locked inside of us. No matter how many years it is frozen inside of us, when the opportunity for healing arises, the emotions from the event long forgotten can surface. When this happens we have the most wonderful opportunity to be the parent to our inner child that we desperately needed at the time and for whatever reason, didn’t get. In my opinion there is nothing more powerful that we can do for our own healing, than to listen with empathy to the untold stories inside us. Emotions are energy in motion. When the emotion is trapped inside us for any reason, it is unable to continue in motion and be resolved. When we come across these intense emotions as an adult we have the most wonderful opportunity to simply listen with empathy, and feel the emotion transform and release. For more on working with the Inner Child, see Appendix Q. There is no doubt that it takes a certain amount of courage to deal with these core issues on our own. It’s great if we can work with a practitioner where possible. However I feel it is also very important to use simple ideas like those above in order to be able to be with ourselves when intense emotions arise, so that we have the opportunity to heal issues that are triggered in day to day life, whether or not we have a practitioner or friend available to sit with us as we heal.

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Appendix S – Aspects Diagram While our conscious mind doesn’t have all the answers to the issues that we haven’t resolved, it can help us to come up with some great starting points. One way to work with an issue with EFT is to map out what you do know about it, then fill in the rest of the map as beliefs, memories, thoughts and feelings come to mind while you are tapping. Physically creating the map on a piece of paper can support this process. Steps to creating Aspects Diagram 1.

Decide what issue you want to work on. Write it in a circle at the centre of the diagram. This is essentially the table top you are going to be working with and the rest of the diagram will document the legs you are aware of, and the ones that surface while tapping (if you are not familiar with the Table Top metaphor read the section about it before continuing.)

2.

Now brainstorm all the different aspects of this issue that you are aware of. Sometimes working quickly while doing this can be helpful, just writing what comes to mind and not editing anything out (you can always do that later, and some of the things you write might actually be much bigger pieces of the puzzle than you realise). Include any statements that feel like truths to you and rate them on the SUDs scale (for more on this see Appendix N)

3.

Select one item that you have written on the diagram, and turn it into a tapping statement. As you tap, if any beliefs, memories or thoughts come to mind, add them onto the diagram and tap on them too. Write on the diagram the date that the issue comes down to a 0 in intensity on the SUDs scale.

4.

Continuing working with the items one at a time, and periodically scan your eyes over the whole diagram, looking for any themes that are appearing and any possible limiting beliefs that might be underlying those themes. Add these to the diagram to tap on as well.

5.

For a smaller issue one session may be all that you need. For a larger issue you may want to come back to the diagram and work on another aspect of it for a while each day, or when you can find the time. You can also later go back and revisit a few of the issues that you have recorded dates next to and test them to ensure that they are still at a 0 (See Need for Testing for further information if required.) Sometimes when we are working on a major issue it can feel like we aren’t making any progress, and revisiting those areas on the diagram that you have already worked with can remind you how far you have actually come on the issue. If instead it makes you wonder whether you are making progress, consider reading through Section III to look for ideas of possible blocks to you working on this issue on your own. It can also be helpful to record the dates you worked on each aspect on the diagram so that you can go back later and review the diagram for patterns of when something was an issue for you, should you need to.

6.

It can be useful to have an exercise book that you draw all your Aspect Diagrams in. Sometimes we can be working on what appear to be separate issues, and if we review the work we have been doing across several issues, we can see themes that weren’t apparent when working on the issues in isolation. Doing the drawings in a book specifically set aside for this purpose and reviewing the book periodically not only gives you an opportunity to look for themes, but results in a journal over time that you can look back over and see how far you’ve come. It also helps us to see when things are recurring, alerting us to any areas that we might have missed some aspects on, so gives us great feedback on not only our healing journey, but also on how we are going with learning the important factors with EFT.

See the next page for an example Aspect Diagram

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Example Aspects Diagram

Notes: 1.

The diagram started with the issue “Difficulty Sleeping”. While tapping on “Even though I am having difficulty sleeping, I deeply and completely love and accept myself” may be a useful starting point, it’s quite likely it won’t be specific enough to clear the issue. So the next step is to break it down and be more specific.

2.

“Can’t sleep if any noise” and “Waking up early thinking” are likely to be two different aspects of the main issue. You would choose one to tap on, and if collapsing that didn’t resolve the whole issue, you would come back to the next aspect after collapsing the first.

3.

Tapping on “Even though I can’t sleep when there is any noise, I deeply and completely love and accept myself” in this case resulted in the thought coming to mind that “I wake up whenever the dogs bark.” So the next step would be to tap on that.

4.

“Even though I wake up whenever the dog bark, I …” results in realising that the belief is “I’m not safe if the dogs are barking, because it means there might be someone out there.”

5.

“Even though I’m not safe when the dogs are barking, I…” Let’s say in this case that tapping on this didn’t resolve the issue or bring any new information to mind. The next step would be to ask yourself if you have any early memories of feeling like this.

6.

This results, in this case, with a memory of being frightened when you were woken up by the dogs barking when you were 5 years old, and you heard your father on the phone saying to the police that he’d just seen a suspected burglar go into the neighbours house. This gives a specific event to tap on, using the Movie Technique would be a great idea here if you can remember the incident.

7.

You would then re-assess the SUDS level on the belief that “I’m not safe if the dogs are barking” and keep tapping until it came down to zero, then come back and explore the rest of the diagram if the main issue (Difficulty Sleeping) hasn’t been resolved, and continue to add to the diagram as thoughts, memories and feelings arise. - 83 -

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Appendix T – EFT Approaches – How to be your own creative practitioner EFT is a simple process. All we need to do is tune in and tap. Some days it just doesn’t seem to feel that way though, and it’s difficult to know where to start. One of the advantages of working with a practitioner is they can help you to try the various different approaches to EFT, to find which one works best for you for each issue. It’s not so easy to do this for yourself, so this page is for days where you need a little help with it. You really need to read the book first, before you use this, as it is just a handy reference summary that you can use a little like a buffet – simply run your eyes over the options and pick one that feels like something you’d like to try. You might find you have a favourite you keep coming back to some days, and other days you just feeling like trying a different approach. You can also print this page out and check the different approaches off as you use them, keeping a record of the areas that you have yet to explore and learn about. For all types of issues – select an issue you’d like to address and try one of the following approaches: Simple and Powerful Method for Working on Your Own, or if possible, ask a friend to sit with you as you do the tapping (Appendix L) Brainstorm all the reasons you don’t feel like tapping, and tap on them! Create a Choices Statement to Clear Blocks to reflect where you’d like to be and tap and listen for the tail-enders Read the section on Forgiveness and see if you can think of anyone you have difficulty forgiving, and work on any issues that arise from this Answer Carol Look’s questions in Appendix D in relation to the issue Try the safety portion of the process in Appendix H to see if there are any themes here you can work with Think of some specific events to do with the issue and try using the Movie Technique (Appendix C) Think of some specific events to do with the issue, and use the Tell the Story Technique (Appendix B) Try tapping along with Brad Yates eTapping sample http://www.bradyates.net/page41.html Brainstorm some of the writing on the walls you may have, then find some specific events that put the writing there and tap on them Read through Section III of the book and note any new approaches you could try Try Stephen Daniel’s approach to core beliefs in Appendix I

Think of your issue as a Table Top and brainstorm all the possible events that could be holding the table top up, then pick one to start tapping on. Make a start on, or continue working with, the Personal Peace Procedure Do a search on the topic for your issue at www.emofree.com to look for inspiration on how others have approached it Post a question on one of the forums at http://www.emofree.com/forum_landing.htm (if you detail what you’ve already tried you will likely get a more useful response) Try the process in Appendix H to see whether you unconditionally accept yourself Listen to one of the talks at www.eft-revealed.com and tap along and work on any issues that come up Try Appendix J with something you’ve been wanting to do but just don’t get around to Listen to one of the talks at www.eft-talk.com and tap along and work on any issues that come up Try a conversation with your inner child to hear their concerns about the issue (Appendix Q) Buy or borrow a copy of Lise Bourbeau’s “Your Body is Telling you: Love Yourself” and explore the themes Lise suggests for your physical issues Read through Section V of the book and note any new approaches you could try Brainstorm an Aspect Diagram for the issue and pick one to tap on (Appendix S)

For specific issues: Read through the Specific Uses for EFT section to get some ideas on various approaches. This section refers you to many resources tailored to the specific use, both within this book and free resources available on the internet: Physical Illnesses Phobias Depression

Chronic Pain Allergies Limiting Beliefs

Stop Smoking Trauma

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Weight Loss/Overeating Kids/Animals