Wise Children by Angela Carter

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-fntt WISE CHILDREN Anrela Cartcr was bom in 1940. She read Enslish ar B.istol Univesiry, spent two years living in Japatr and from 1975-8 was fellow in CreativeWririns ar Sheffield Universiw.Shehaslivedand wo.ked .xt€nsivelvin the Unired St.t€s and Australia. Het firtr no\el, Shadoe Darce, was published in 196s, follow.d by The Masic Toyshop 11967,lohn Llewellyt Rhrs Ptiz.), Hdos afld villaiLt (7959), Love (797r), The Pa$ion of Ntu E e 11977)6dNisht at th. Cittus (1984,Jam6 Tair Black Meoo.ial P.izc). She has aiso published thle collections of shorr storis, Fittuotks 11974), The Bloody Chanbet (1979, Cheltenham F€stival of Ute..ture) and Elarl Verls (1985)and two works of non-fic1ion,Tre Sade4s Wo,,1o4:An E eftise in Cultutul Hktory end Nothiss Sa./.d 11982), t colecrion of h.r jou.nalisn. Her hosr rcc.nr book is bpletiues Deletzd, a vo|rumeof @ll.cred wrirings. Ans.l. Caner liv6 in South l-ondor

B Y T H E S A M EA U T H O R Ficrion Shadoa Da"e The Maeic Toyshof Seuelal Percepriofis Hercs and Vi diss Loue The tnfernat Dune Ma.his6 of Dt Holfftan The Passion of Nee Eue Tbe Bloody Chambet Nights dt the Cbcts Non'Ficrion The Sadeia"Wonai: An Exerckei'1Cuttuftl History Nothins Sa.rcd: Sele.ted Wrninrs The Viraso Book of Fairyt'tes (edito/) Eriletiues Deleted

'Do.a and No.a Chance are rhe illesitimate Nrn daughters of the g.eat Shakespearian a;or Melchior Hazard. Disown€d by his family and, by extension, the *hole 'legitimate" rheatr€to which he b€longs, they set our on a career as chorus sirls, working rheir way through the music halls and, after achievinSa brief noment of c€lluloid inmonality, ending their dancingdays in a dispiritiDgsuccessionof post-war revueswith titles like Nudes.Ahoyland Nudesofthe Vodd... Carter's insistent aim is to show how thoroughlyth€ legitimateand illegitinate worlds are entatrgledrand in a country whose cultural life continuesro be crippled by falsedistinction between 'high" and "low", this is ,n imponant subi€€tfor any novel... Berweenthesepoles... lies endlessscope for verbal exuberance,exotic fsures ofspeech,6lthy colloquialismsand more.tha-na sma$eringof good toKes C'tatdian 'U/ise Chidleh

is a .eleb?tion of wrons-sidedness. lr is a south London novel, announcingitself defiandy as hailing from the wrong side of the tracks... The b@k s narator. Dora Ch,nce. rwin \i\ter ro Norr in a novel bursting wirh F,ins, hails fton the wrong side of the blanket as well as rhe tracks. The rwo girls, the Lucky Chancesas th€y are known on the halls, are the unacknowledgedoffspring of the famous Shakespearean actor, Sir Melchior H.zard, in whose person all the srear hams of the ase Vol6t. Richardson. Olivier - are united and exc€eded... In Wise Chil&en Hamletk Eftar soliloquy becomesa sketch for the Chancegir-isrn bellhop costumes,wond€.ing if a parcel should b€ deliv€redto "2b o. not 2b". Nobody's parentsare their real Darents- Dora and Nora's Grandma Chanc€may actuallybe their mother, and the dosest thing they have to a graodfather is, not inappropriately, a clock - and children, t@, are easilyfound and lost.' lndeDeftde"t on Stnda|

'Tbe saga is a si.ck-jawed, razor-wined jounce through the highways and back alleysof rwentiethcentu4, showbiz, coupled with a family history of B l z a n r n e c o m p l e x ' t y . . .w e r e f lr p p e d e l f o r d e s r l y thrcugh the decadesrnd immersed rn a flarlrne m e n a g e noe{ c b a r a c r e r B s .o t h $ e p h y e c a l d e r a r l a n a s " r : r o f e a c he r aa r eb r o u s h r l i v e w ' r h u n e n ' n sd r b ' of descnprion. Ile earihine* ,:nd uqundrw of (aner's pro'e is as dazzlrnB^s evet... Wise( h .lreh u J s l o r i o u r .h , s h - k i c k i n so r n t r r l o f i l l - d e c o , u , , , and r sbrewd chronrcleot personalsuN'val' Obset!e/

Angela C arter

\7ISn,CHTT-oRBN

'Argela

Caner has alway! beenrn exuberanrwriier and n€ver more so rhan in wis" Chituen, het 6rct novel in seven vears (and he. eleventh wo.k of 6ction). This is a book rhar moves cffonlessly from shock to coincidence,from slight complication to swift resolution,from suspensetothumpitrslyabsurd rsolution, and yet at €very poirr the incid€ntsteel mor€ musical than lirerary, as rhough rhe aurhoas only goal had beef,to createthe ye.bal equivalentof Moz tt's Cosi fan tatte ... The best thing in the book is Dora herself, an actress who has played m Shakespeareand vaud€ville and ev€n in one disastrousHollvwood film. a swivo. who hastaken in an old enemy our of compassion and foresone ? dazzlingma.riageour of piry, a gameold rhirgjn the .tticofa housein Brixton, peggitrSaway ar h€r word processor,an elecronic palette on whicb she blends purple proseand the bluestof blue wo.ds, a sood old girl who is as etemal as he. r€al and purativ€ fathe.s' Times Litelary Sapplement

1l VINTAGE

One Brush up your Shakcspea.e. COLE PORTER It's a wise child thar knows its oM OLD SA'J( How

farber.

many rimes Shakespeare draws farhers and daughte.s, never morhers and dauenrers. ELLEN TERRY

VINTACE 20 Vanxhal Bn.bc Roid, LondonSltlV 2SA Lon.lonMclboum. SydncyAu.klandJoham6burg and a8.n.i6 rhrcusiout !n. wodd Fn$ publishedby Chaito& IvindusLrd. 1991 Mntagecdirion1992 I 579 t0864 Copy'idt O Ans€h care t tr l fiom Irt Only a P,Fr Moon, by Arten/Ha.burg/Ros., . _ . , Extu-ads 'My H€anlclongs to D.ddy' by Cole Por.r and .Th V"y you iook Toni8tra by K.m/ F .ldr. .opyrighr@ wrrn., ChrppettMun( Ld, ar,.produad by p.rmis\ionof !9Jm.r Ch,pp.ttL'd. rnd poly8.amMu+c Tl(l,nA from l c tciv.You An{hined( Lov. b\ J,mmvli.Huch rnd Dorcth) Field\.(opy e\r @ I c2l V'll, Mu,ic li.. L SA,,(,croducd by pennsion ofL.wana Vridt MusicCo, Ltd. Londo. \sC2H OEA The riShtofAngelaCarterto bc id.nti6cdas!r aumor of rhis work has beenaseded by her in a.cordanc vm ih. Copyrigli, Designs.nd Pa&nu Act, 1988 T]ln book n sold subFd b rhc conditionrhat n sh,ll not, by way of ddc or oiheNn., b. l.dr, resold, hirc,l our, or orh.ruise cirolared wirhou. lhc ptrbhh.ls pnorcons.ntin.hy fomolbindinsor covdoms $an th,r in which ii n publishcd.nj wirhour a simitar condnionincludrnsrhn @ndnionbeingimposd on thc subseque.tpurcnase! Print.d an,l bolnd m Cr.ar Brihin br Cox & Vthan Lrd, Re.d,rs l s B N0 0 9 9 9 8 1 1 0 6

Vsv is l-ondon like Budapestl A. Because it is two citiesdividedby a river. morning! Let me introduce myself. My name is Dora Chance.Welcometo the wrong sideo{ the tracks. Put it anotherway. If you're from the States,think of Manhattan.Then think of Brooklyn.Seewhat I mean)Or, for a Parisian, it might be a question of riue gauche, rive drcite. With London, it's the North and South divide. Me and Nora, that's my sister,we've alwayslived on the left-handside,the sidethe tourist rarely sees,the dsrdld sideof Old FatherThames. Once upon a time, you could make a crudedistinction,thus: the rich lived amidst pleasantverdure in the North speedily whisked to exclusiveshoppingby abundant public transport while the poor €kedout miserableexistences in the Southin circumstances of urban deprivationcondemnedto wait for hours at windsw€ptbus-stopswhile soundsof maritalviolence,breaking glassand drunkensongechoedaroundand it was cold and dark and smelledof 6sh and chips.But you canl trust thingsto stay the same.There's been a diasporaof the amDent,they throuthout the city. lumpedinto their dieselSaabsand dispersed You'd neverbelievethe priceof a housercund here,thesedays. And what doesthe robin do then, poor thingl Buggerthe robin! What would havebecomeof rs, if Crandma hadn't left us this house?49 BardRoad,Brixton, London,South Vest Two. Blessthis house.If it wasn't for this house,Nora and I would be on the streetsby now, haulingour worldliesup and down in plasticbags,suckingon the bottlefor comfortlike babes unweaned,burstinginto songsof joy when finally admittedto the night shelterand thereforechuckedout again immediately

for disturbrngthr peace.io gaspand freezeand finally snuff ir drsregarded on ihr srrecrand blow away like rags.Thar.r a thought for a girl's sevenry-fifrh birrhday,whar? Yesl Seventy-five. Happy birthday to me. Born in this house, . indeed,this very attic, just seventy-five ycarsago,today.I made my bow fiveminuresahcadof Nora who is, at ihis very moment, downstairs,gertingbreakfast.My dearesrsisrer.Happy bifthday

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This is rz1 room. \Vedon't share.We'vealwaysresDected one anothcrs.privrcy.Idenrical, well and good:Sramese, no. Every. thingdighrlysoilcd,I m sorry(o sey.Can\ bedorngwirh wasir, wash, wash,polish, polish, polish, thesedays.whJn time is so precious. bxl trke a goodlook at the:ignedpholos5ruckIn rhc dressing-table mirror- Ivoq Noel:FredandAdEle: Jack:Crngerl Fred and Ginger; Anna, Jessie,Sonnie,Binnie.eti f;end" inj colleagues, onceupon a rime.Secthe newestone,a tall girl, slender,blackcurls,enormouseyes,no drawers,.your verv own fif_ fany' and lots of XXXXXs. lsni she lovely) Our beloved godchild.\7e tried to pur her off show businessbur shewasn\ havingany. 'Vhat\ good enoughfor you two is good enough Ior,me."Showburiness'. rrghrenough:a prertiergirl than lrtilc I rtl you never5awbur she'sshowcdher all. What did we do? Gor ir in on€. !0e usedto be songand dance girls.We canstill lift a leghigherthan your averagedog,if called for. Hello, hello . . . here comesone of the pussycats,out of rhe wardrobe.srretchrng and yawning.Shecan smellthe bacon. I hrres anorher. whirr.wirh marmrlade prrcher.sleeping on my pillow. Dozensmore roam freely.The housesmelLol car,a bii, but more of geriatricchorine- cold cream,facepowde.. d.ess preservfrs,old fags.stalerea. 'Come and havea cuddle.Pussv.' You'vegor to hrvesomething to cuddle.Doecpussywanrr$ . breakfast. then?Grveus a minure.puss.leCshavea look our of Cold.bnghr.windy.sprrngweather. justtikerheday tharwe wer€born. whenthe Zeppelins werefalling.Lovell bluesky,a brrihday prcsenrin irself. I knew r boy. once, with eyesihet

@lour,yearsago.Bareas a rose,not a hair on him; he was too for body hair' And sky-blueeyes. vouns ' thiswindow. YoucanseeriShtacross Yo-ucanseeformrles,outof dre nver. There's WestminsterAbbey, seel Flying the St C€orge's cross,today. St Paul's,the singlebreast.Big B€n,winking its golden cye.Not much€lsefamiliar,thesedays.This is aboutthe timethat aomesin everycenturywhenthey reachout for all that theycangrab of dearold London,andpull it down.Thentheybuild it up again, like LondonBridgein the nurseryrhyme,goodbye,hello,but it's neverthe same.Eventhe railwaystations,changedout of recogdition, turned into souks.Waterloo.Victoria.Nowhereyou can get a decentcup of tea, all they give you is HarveyWallbangers, filthy cappuccino.Stockingshopsand knickeroutletseverywhere you look.l saidto Nora:'RememberBrr'.efEtcornter,how l.ried except bucketslNowherefor themto meetona station,nowadays, in a bloodyknickershop.Their handswor.rldhaveto shylytouch undercoverof a pair of UnionJackboxershorts.' 'Comeoff it, you sentimentalsod,' saidNora. 'The only brief cncounterro, had duringthe war wasa fling with a Yank behind on LiverpoolStreetStation.' the public convenience 'l was only doing my bit for the war effort,' I repliedsedately, but shewasn't listening,shestartedto giggle. "ere, Dor', smashingnamefor a lingerieshop* Brief Encounter.' Shedoubledup. Sometimes I think, if I look hard enough,I can seeback into the past.Theregoesthe wind, again.Crash.Over goesthe dustbin, all the $ash spills out . . . empty cat-{oodcans,cornflakes packets,ladderedtights,t€a leaves. . . I am at presentworking family history- seethe word on my memoirsand researching processor,the filing cabinet,the card indexes,right hand, left hand,right side,left side,all the dirt on everybody.rifhat a wind! Vhooping and bangingall alongthe street,the kind of wind that blows everythingtopsy-turvy. Seventy-6ve, today, and a topsy-turvyday of wind and sunshine.The kind of wind that getsinto the blood and drivesyou wild. \qildl And I givea little shiverbecause suddenlyI know, I know it in my ancientwater, that somethingwill happentoday.Something

exciting.Somethingnice, somethingnasry,I dont give a mon, key's.Jusr,aslorgassomethinghappensto remindr.r-s we.resrill

In tne lano ot the hvtnp-

we boast the only castiatogrrndf"th.. .lo.k in London, Theplaqueon thedi:lofour grandfather in thefronthallsaysir wasmadern lnverness tn r 846and.asfarasI know,it isa unicue example of anaurhrnticHighland-style grandfather clockanj:s suchwls exhrbitedat rhe CrearExhibitionof r85t. Its High_ landnessconsistsof a full.serof antlers,eighrpolntr. top oi1i. Jome$meswe usetheandersasa hat rack,ifelther of"n us hlppens to go our wearingahar,whichdoesn.thappenoften,but now and then,whenir rains.This clockhasgot a lot ofsentimentalvalue for Nora and me.k camero us from our father.His only gifr andeven thenttcamebyrccidrnt.Great,tall, burch.horny meh"oganv rhine. but rr gjves.ourthr holrrsin a funny litrle falsettopingand alwair the wronghour, alwaysout by one.We nevergoi round to fixine rt. roretttherruth.itmakesuslaugh.always has.lrwasall righi unot crandma frxedir. All shedid was tep it and rle weigirs droppedoff. Shealwayshad that effecton gintlemen. But, as I passedby our grandfatherclock this windy birthdav momrng,carsscamprringin fronr of me maddenedby Lhe smeil ol bacon.lt struck.And srruck.And struck.And rhlsdmegor ir right, srraighron rhc nosey- erehto clocl.l Noi!Somerhingis upiGrrnddadin thehallgorrherighr ^t|me, -'Noa! tor once!' else ,.'Somerhing is_up, roo,' Nora saysin a gratifiedvoiceand sirngsme a th,ck.whrreenvelope wirh a cresron rheback,.Our tnvrteshavearrivedar last.' and stutters .Shesrarrsro pour our tea,while Vheelchair622€5 whenI pull our tharsnff,whitecardwe rhoughtwouldnever come. The MissesDora and Leoxora Chance arc in ited to d celebratiox to mark tbe one huxdredth birthday

of

Sir Melchiot Hazard 'One Man in his Time playsMany parts.'

Wheelchair 6zzed, sputtered and boiled right over; she screechedfit to bust but Nora consoledher: 'Hold hard, ducky,we'renevergoingto leaveyou behind! Yes, Cinders,you sballgo to the ball, evenif you aren'tmentionedby nameon the invite. kt's haveall the skeletonsout of the closet, ioday, of all days!God knows,we deservea spot of bubbly after all theseYears.I souintedal the RSVP,to that Poshhousein Retent'sPark and iady Hazard, the third and Presenlspouse.Whereasour ooor old Wheelchair,here,was his first, which accountsfor her soleen,as ex, at failing to featureperson;lly on the invitation. Attd ,h. Mi.... Leonoraand Dora, that is, yours truly' are' of course,sir Melchior Hazard'sdaughters,though not, ah€m,by as they say,as if any of his wives.!0e atehis natural daughters, intended His nature it the way that do couples unmarried only with whom, by a daughters, recognised officially never-by-him a birthday. he shares bizarrecoincidence, . 'They'venot givenus much time to reply,' I complained.'It's onlv tonlqht. isn't it)' 'io-.tf,ing trkes youthinktheydon'twantus io gol'Nora's lost a coupleof backmolars,you can't help but noticewhen she laushs.I've kepr all mine. otherwise. like as two peas'as ever ,h. only way you couldtell us aPartwasby our *"i Y."., "go, perfume. SheusedShalimar,me, Mitsouko. All the same,identicalwe may be, but symmetrical- never. For the body itself isn't symmetrical.One of yout feet is bound to be biggerthan the other, one ear will leak more wax. Nora is 0uxy; me, constipated.Shewas alwaysftee with her money, squanderedit on th€ fellers,poor thing, whereasI tried to put a bit by. Her menstrualflow was copiousto a fault; mine,meaSre. 'Maybe . . .' But we're both in Shesaid:'Yes!'to life and I said, the salr|eboat, now. Stuckwith eachother.Two batty old hags, buy us a drink and w€'ll sing you a song. Even managea knees-up,on occasion'suchas New Year'sEveor a publican's grandbaby. What a ioy it is to danceand sing! 'We're stuck in the period at which we peaked,of course.All ' womendo. \(/e'd feelmutilatedif you mad€us wiPeoffourJoan

Crawfordmouthsand we alwaysdo our hair up in erearbis Vicroryrolls whenwe go our. we.ve