Using NLP on Yourself - 10 - Course Action Manual

August 22, 2017 | Author: Razvan Frandes | Category: Neuro Linguistic Programming, Ethology, Behavior, Cognitive Science, Psychology & Cognitive Science
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Using   NLP   on   yourself,   to   create   more   of   the   life   you   want   is   a   huge   area   that   we   could  write  many  volumes  of  material  on.  The  fact  is  everyone  who  comes  into   the  field  of  NLP  is  doing  so  for  their  own  specific  outcomes,  and  for  the  most  part,   are   starting   from   different   positions.   Therefore   there   are   no   one-­‐size   fits   all   approach  in  terms  of  how  you  should  use  the  technology.    In  fact  one  of  the  great   things  about  NLP  is  you  can  use  it  as  you  please,  it’s  incredibly  versatile.   This   “bootstrap”   action   manual   is   designed   to   compliment   the   video   resources   and   get   you   to   the   point   where   you   have   the   know-­‐how   and   resources   to   use   the   patterns  and  attitude  of  NLP  to  improve  your  life.   In  the  following  pages  you  will  find  25  distinct  sections,  summarized  on  a  post-­‐it-­‐ note.  Each  post-­‐it-­‐note  provides  you  with  a  key  insight  to  help  you  create  more  of   the  life  you  want.  Most  conclude  with  a  specific  next  step  action  to  do.   If  you  want  to  get  good  at  using  NLP  on  yourself  then  the  rules  are  simple;     Do  the  actions!   We  cover  many  topics  including:   -­‐ -­‐ -­‐ -­‐ -­‐ -­‐ -­‐

How  to  cultivate  the  core  attitude  of  NLP   How  to  work  with  the  techniques   How  to  know  what  technique  to  use  when   How   to   use   the   technology   to   address   questions   of   productivity,   motivation  and  action   How   to   think   and   train   if   you   want   to   become   really   good   with   the   technology   How  to  get  yourself  unstuck   How  to  be  a  master  of  your  thoughts  and  responses  

Master  these  areas  and  we  can  promise  you  that  more  of  the  changes  you’d  like   to  see  appear  in  your  life  will  start  showing  up,  again  and  again.  If  you  just  read   this   manual   and   watch   the   videos   passively   you   will   come   away   with   some   great   distinctions,   but   you   life   will   be   no   different   than   before.   And   you   don’t   want   that,  do  you?     Living  and  breathing  the  technology  –  to  benefit  your  own  life  –  start  here.   So  get  your  “state  on”  and  we  look  forward  to  hearing  how  you  get  on.   To  your  happiness  and  mastery,   Tom  and  Michael      

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  There  are  between  circa  30  or  so  organizing  presuppositions  in  NLP1  that  are  the   foundation   building   blocks   of   the   technology.   They   exist,   not   because   they   are   necessarily   ‘true’,   but   because   when   embodied   and   operationalized,   they   act   as   powerful  enabling  filters  in  how  we  interact  with  the  world.     Many  NLPers  treat  these  are  some  kind  of  conceptual  ideas,  read  them  once  and   move   on.   They   think   they   “understand”   them,   but   the   reality   is   when   you   treat   the  presuppositions  as  just  concepts,  you  have  no  felt  sense  experience  of  them   as  a  reality  and  so  they  have  no  impact  on  your  life.   This  is  error  101  for  anyone  looking  to  apply  NLP  to  their  life.     Your   first   task   on   the   journey   of   using   NLP   on   yourself   is   to   embody   each   presupposition   over   the   coming   month,   bringing   in   whatever   resources   are   necessary   in   order   for   you   to   assume   that   the   presupposition   you   are   using   is   ‘TRUE’  and  ACT  accordingly.     Only   then   are   you   in   the   position   to   notice   how   it   radically   affects   your   orientation  in  the  world.      

                                                                                                                1

 Depending  on  the  author.  

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And  affect  it  positively,  it  will.     For  example  starting  today  adopt  the  belief  that  “The  ‘map’  is  not  the  territory”.   Get   that   belief   into   your   bones.   Assume   it   is   true   and   notice   how   it   transforms   your  world.     •

When  this  is  ‘true’  for  you,  how  would  you  think,  feel  and  act  in  the  world?    



How  does  it  affect  how  your  think  about  misunderstandings  you  have?    



How  does  it  impact  the  ideas  you  have  about  yourself?    



How   does   living   from   this   presupposition   affect  how   you   deal   with   others   who  don’t  share  the  same  map  as  you,  etc?    

Fully  adopt  it  and  act  ‘as  if’  this  were  the  ‘true’  way  of  being  in  the  world.  After   doing  this  for  24  hours,  remove  that  and  try  on  the  inverse  of  it,  that  the  map  IS   the  territory.  Again  notice  how  it  changes  the  way  you  organize  your  perceptions   and  act  in  the  world.     In  NLP  we  are  the  school  of  doing,  not  talking.  So  repeat  this  process  each  day  for   the   coming   30   days   choosing   a   different   presupposition   below   –   putting   it   ‘on’   and  taking  it  ‘off’.     Embodying   the   core   presuppositions   of   NLP   is   the   cornerstone   to   handing   anything   else   that   may   come   your   way.   It   builds   inside   of   you   many   of   the   attitudes   and   mindset   of   flexibility,   resourcefulness   and   curiosity.   All   great   attitudes  to  have.   Before  you  start  adopting  each  of  the  presuppositions  below,  first  rate  yourself   on  a  scale  of  1-­‐10  (10  being  totally  congruent  with  my  behaviour),  as  to  how  well   you   already   embody   each   of   these   presuppositions.   At   the   end   of   30   days   rate   yourself  again  and  continue  adopting  the  presupposition,  until  you  consistently   score  above  8  in  each,  as  demonstrated  by  your  behaviour.   1. The  ‘map’  is  not  the  territory.   2. People  respond  according  to  their  ‘maps’,  not  to  reality  itself.  

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3. People  make  the  best  choice  they  can  at  the  time  given  the  state  they  are   in.   4. People  work  perfectly.   5. All   human   behavior   is   purposive   or   adaptive   within   some   context,   whether   you   can   detect   it   or   not.   (This   used   to   be   written   as   “Every   behavior   has   a   positive   intention”   –   the   source   of   endless   misunderstandings   and   whinings   and   re-­‐blamings.   This   restatement   is   more  to  the  point.)   6. Every   behavior   has   utility   and   usefulness   –   in   some   context.   (this   is   a   corollary  of  #5)   7. The   meaning   of   your   communication   is   not   simply   what   you   intend   but   the  response  you  get.   8. Meaning  is  context  dependent.   9. Mind-­‐and-­‐body   are   inescapably   linked,   one   affects   the   other   and   visa   versa.     10. If  you  want  to  understand;  act.  The  learning  is  in  the  doing.   11. We  cannot  not  communicate.   12. The   one   who   sets   the   frame   for   the   communication   controls   the   communication.   13. There  is  no  failure  only  feedback.   14. The  individual  with  the  greatest  choice  of  behaviors  (range,  flexibility  in   sheer  numbers)  controls  the  situation.     15. People  have  the  internal  resources  they  need  to  succeed.   At   the   end   of   30   days   you   should   have   tried   out   and   ‘taken   off’   each   of   the   presupposition  of  NLP.  Notice  which  seemed  a  ‘natural  fit’  for  you  and  which  you   need   to   develop   the   habit   of   embodying   in   the   way   you   move   through   the   world.   Doing  this  assignment  is  one  of  the  most  powerful  exercises  you  can  do  in  NLP.   Once  your  behaviour  reflects  the  core  presuppositions  of  NLP,  it  is  time  to  turn   our  attention  to  the  techniques…    

 

 

 

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  Learning  or  applying  the  techniques  of  NLP  is  the  area  that  most  new  folks  into   the   field   want   to   learn   more   about.   People   tend   to   think   there   is   some   kind   of   magic   to   them,   and   often   overcomplicate   the   process   of   how   to   use   the   techniques.   The   techniques   are   like   recipes   you   can   follow   and   many   will   help   you   re-­‐wire   certain   responses   in   your   mind-­‐body.   Using   them   is   actually   quite   simple.   Many   books   have   been   written   covering   the   many   techniques   of   NLP.   Pick   one   and  follow  the  process  outlined  within  it.     For  example,  if  you  get  a  copy  of  the  Richard  Bandler’s  recent  book  “Get  the  Life   You   Want”   work   it   through   methodically,   one   step   at   a   time.   Apply   what   Richard   guides  you  through.     Everything   you   need   is   there,   but   what   you   have   to   release   first   of   all,   is   that   you   can   talk   to   yourself   and   that   talking   to   yourself   has   anything   to   do   with   what's   going   to   get   you   “well”.   I've   watched   people   who   work   with   themselves   and   they'll   sit   there   while   they   are   trying   to   do   a   technique.  For   example   a   technique   around  visioning,  making  pictures,  and  while  they  are  attempting  to  do  that,  they   will  talk  to  themselves  saying:   “Ah,  it's  not  working,  I  hope  this  is  going  to  work,  I  don't  think  it's  going  to   work.”   Realize  that  IS  the  work  they  are  doing.  The  internal  dialogue  is  the  work.  All  that   commentary  is  not  commentary.  It  is  the  state  that  you  are  creating.  And  you've   got  to  switch  that  stuff  off.  If  you  are  talking  like  a  mental  chipmunk  to  yourself,   that's  the  state  you  will  induce  and  not  some  titanic  state  of  motivation.    

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NLP   is   not   like   a   magic   avoid-­‐responsibility   thing.   It's   about   taking   more   responsibility.   And   taking   responsibility,   when   you   are   working   with   the   various   techniques  and  methods,  is  what  you  have  to  do.       Second  thing,  you  can't  be  both  the  critic  evaluator  and  the  doer  of  the  technique   of  the  same  time!  When  people  screw  it  up,  they  usually  screw  it  up  because  they   are  trying  to  run  two  states  at  once.  They  will  go:   “Alright,  I’m  going  to  do  self  hypnosis.  I  am  relaxing  a  little  bit.  Am  I  there   yet?  No,  I'm  not  so  I  guess  this  doesn't  work.”   This  is  Crazy,  stupid.  Crazy-­‐stupid.     That's  what  that  is.  It  won't  work!  It  never  works.     Yes.  But...  No  buts.  Yeah,  if  you  think  you're  thinking  and  you  are  doing  that,  you   are…  well  we  have  a  name  for  that.   Third   thing   to   avoid   is   not   using   sufficiently   intense   representations.   Pictures,   sounds,  etc.  In  other  words,  the  content  you  are  using  and  how  you  are  using  it,  is   not  sufficiently  gripping  or  motivating  then  your  not  going  to  get  far  with  it.   Action: Using   the   techniques   of   NLP   is   for   the   most   part   very   straightforward.   Assess   how  you  have  been  using  the  techniques  so  far  and  identify  if  you  have  suffered   from  any  of  the  3  common  errors  outlined  above.   Most  people  who  have  difficulties  with  the  techniques  have.   Make  a  commitment  today  to  stop  doing  any  “crazy-­‐stupid”  stuff.     Instead   simply   DO   the   techniques,   follow   the   process   outlined   by   whichever   manual  or  description  you  are  following  until  you  can  apply  them  to  any  area  of   your   life.   There   are   tons   of   techniques   that   can   help   you   change   ‘limiting   beliefs’,   overcome  ‘negative’  emotions,  be  more  happy,  live  a  better  life  etc.  etc.   Right  now  you  only  need  to  ask  yourself:   Do  you  have  a  clear  idea  of  the  kind  of  life  you  wish  to  be  living?   The   simply   truth   is   you   can’t   do   it,   IF,   you   keep   doing   the   same   stuff   over   and   over  that  doesn’t  work.  Whatever  the  life  you  aspire  for  looks  like,  to  get  to  there   from   here   means   you   will   need   to   make   some   changes.   And   this   is   where   the   technology  of  NLP  can  really  help.   But  first  let’s  talk  about  your  goals…     Copyright  NLPTIMES.COM,  all  rights  reserved  in  all  media.  

 

 

 

 

This  program  isn’t  a  course  about  goal  setting.  There  are  hundreds  of  resources   out   there   about   goal   setting.   In   fact,   for   most   setting   goals   isn’t   a   problem,   it   is   the   getting   to   the   goal   that   is.   And   we’ve   got   good   ideas   for   that   in   store   later   on.   But   right   now   let’s   take   a   step   back   before   we   rush   down   the   streets   of     “achieving  your  goal”  and  talk  about  something  more  important.   Sometimes   people   think   that   they   want   something   where   it   is   actually   what   they're  told,  or  what  that  they  have  learned  to  want.     The   person   is   following   goals   and   dreams   that   aren't   theirs.   They   have   been   educated   into   them.   For   example,   in   the   UK   recently   there   was   a   study   done.   They  asked  sixteen  to  eighteen  years  old  what  they  wanted  to  be  when  they  were   adults.   And   most   of   them   responded   they   want   to   be   celebrities.   Big   Brother   style.   That's   pure   education.   It   has   nothing   to   do   with   anything   other   than   they've  been  sold  an  image.  But  that  image  is  disconnected.     A  lot  of  times,  people  know  what  they  want  to  do,  but  somewhere  along  the  line   they  forgot.  Let’s  ensure  this  doesn’t  happen  for  you.   Action: Take   some   time   today   to   review   your   most   important   goals.   Identify   are   they   really  your  goals?,  or  have  they  been  educated  into  you?   Get  to  the  essence  of  the  motive  behind  your  key  goals.     Ask  yourself  questions  like:   • •

Why  do  you  want  this  goal?     How  do  you  know,  you  really  want  it?  

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• • •

What  factors  influenced  you  “wanting”  this  goal  in  the  first  place?   Have  your  actions  to  date  been  consistent  with  manifest  that  goal?  If  not,   why  not?  What  ‘truth’  lies  behind  your  ‘story’?   How  does  X  goal  lead  to  Y  (expected/desired)  outcome?  

Play   with   these   questions,   and   the   others   that   will   naturally   come   up   in   your   mind   when   you   start   turning   the   spotlight   inward   and   zooming   in   on   the   true   nature  of  your  goals.   This   will   help   flush   out   what   is   truly   your   goal   vs.   what   you   have   been   unconsciously  following  as  a  pattern,  investing  perhaps  huge  amounts  of  energy   and   resources.   And   perhaps   for   some   of   your   goals   you’ve   been   doing   this   for   someone  other  than  yourself,  like  there  has  been  a  need  to  do  so,  in  order  to  gain   some  form  of  acceptance.   If  you  discover  a  goal  you  have  been  chasing  for  many  years  is  not  for  you  and   never  was  “your  goal”  then  decide  what  is  the  right  path  for  you  to  follow  from   here  forth...     There   is   immense   freedom   in   striking   a   goal   off   of   your   list   that   was   never   really   something  you  wanted,  you  just,  for  a  time,  thought  you  did.   Your  life  can  get  a  whole  lot  better  when  you  are  spending  your  time  doing  the   things  that  reflect  what  you  really  want,  based  on  your  truest  wants.  Say  yes  to   them.  Then  go  get  them.    

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  Did  you  know  we  are  all  experts.  You,  me,  everyone.     Every  morning  you  get  up  you  have  certain  things  you  do.  Specific  thoughts  and   patterns   you   repeat.   We   all   do.   If   you   want   to   have   more   choice,   influence   and   power  in  your  life,  then  start  become  aware  of  what  repeated  patterns  drive  your   behaviour   and   then   using   any   of   a   number   of   NLP   processes   to   influence   and   shape  them  to  help  you  achieve  more  of  whatever  it  is  that  you  want.   Realize  that  you  are  always  practicing  something.  Every  moment  of  every  day.     For   example,   many   people   are   not   aware   that   even   when   they   are   walking   around   just   chatting   to   themselves,   commenting   on   what's   going   on   and   sitting   around  having  their  coffee  and  criticizing  everything  that  is  going  on.  That,  that  is   practice.  That's  habituated  practice.  And  if  you  are  doing  that,  you  are  practicing,   either  being  critical,  or  practicing  feeling  better.   No   amount   of   personal   development   feel   good   talk   can   get   away   from   the   fact   that  what  you  practice  is  what  you  get  good  at.     Two  quotes  from  James  Allen,  point  you  towards  the  path  to  how  to  have  more  of   the  life  you  want:   “Man   is   made   or   unmade   by   himself.   By   the   right   choice   he   ascends.   As   a   being  of  power,  intelligence,  and  love,  and  the  lord  of  his  own  thoughts,  he   holds  the  key  to  every  situation.”   “A   man   has   to   learn   that   he   cannot   command   things,   but   that   he   can   command   himself;   that   he   cannot   coerce   the   wills   of   others,   but   that   he   can   mold   and   master   his   own   will:   and   things   serve   him   who   serves   Truth;   people  seek  guidance  of  him  who  is  master  of  himself.  “  

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Bottom  line  is,  if  you  want  to  have  more  of  the  life  you  truly  want,  then  it  starts   with  the  moment-­‐by-­‐moment  commitment  to  master  your  thoughts.       Action: Figure   out   what   story/behaviour/internal   thoughts   have   you   been   practicing   that  don’t  serve  you  and  change  it.   We  all  have  something  –  create  a  list  of  your  top  three  un-­‐serving  habits  –  then   make  the  commitment  today  that  you  will  change  them.   How?   There  are  several  ways.     Re-­‐watch  the  video  “how  to  rewire  negative  emotional  responses”  and  use  that   pattern   to   deal   with   undesired   triggered   responses.   Then   put   into   practice   any   one   or   more   of   the   five   “how   to   deal   with   negative   internal   voice”   to   halt   any   unwanted  internal  voice.     Build  in  a  new  strategy  of  hearing  and  seeing  the  behaviour  that  you  want.  Use   the   NLP   SWISH   pattern,   outlined   in   any   NLP   technique   book   or   online   to   start   directionlising  the  brain  about  how  you  want  to  behave  instead.    

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  Of   course   the   natural   question   when   you   realize   that   everything   you   are   doing   is   some   form   of   practicing,   is   how   do   I   change   the   habits   I’ve   established   that   don’t   serve  me?   Well,   for   people   who   are   stuck   doing   habituary   things.   Quite   often,   it   can   be   a   simple  matter  of  reminding  yourself  what  you  want  instead.    Both  Michael  and  I   have  used  this  process  extensively.   Michael  said:   “Many   years   ago   I   encountered   the   Lojong   training   in   Tibet   Buddhism.   And  in  the  approaches  of  mind  training  that  they  have.  In  one  of  the  things   that   they   used   as   part   of   the   early   Buddhist   educational   process   is   slogans.     One  of  the  principles  is  “Train  with  slogans”.  Which  is  a  slogan  in  itself.     How  could  you  use  that?   How   could   you   create   a   very   concise   line   that   evokes   the   desired   ritual   or   habit  you  want  to  cultivate?   Sometimes  questions  are  great  for  this.   For   example   if   somebody   is   not   making   good   decisions   about   things,   we   will   have   them   write   on   a   big   post-­‐it   note,   one   of   those   4x6,   or   bigger   post-­‐it  notes.     In  big  letters:  

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Who  is  the  adult  in  the  world?     And   then   you   stick   it   where   you   are   working.   Right   where   you   have   to   look  at  it.  Who's  the  adult  in  the  room?     And   then   every   time   you   see   the   question,   you   train   yourself.   When   you   see  the  question,  you  check.  Who  is  the  adult  in  the  room?  If  you  are  with   more  than  one  person  check  who  is  the  nominated  adult.  There  has  to  be   at  least  one.     If  there  is  an  adult  in  the  room,  then  you  can  be  a  child.  But,  if  you're  on   your  own  or  if  you  are  in  a  cubicle  or  if  you  are  alone  at  home  and  you  ask   who's   the   adult   in   the   room.   And   there's   no   other   adult   there,   it's   you.       That   means   you're   the   one   whose   in   charge.   That   means   you're   the   one   who   has   to   make   the   decisions   about   what's   good   to   do   and   what's   not   good  to  do.  If  you  had  children  present,  you  think  you  wouldn't  let  them   run   around   and   do   whatever   the   hell   it   was   and   stay   on   the   Internet   all   of   God's  hours,  would  you?  Of  course  not.     Who   is   the   adult   in   the   room?   This   helps   point   us   towards   the   reality   that   we  are  always  responsible.  Always.  Whether  we  like  it  or  not.  Whose  the   adult   in   the   room   is   designed   to   restore   to   you   with   humour,   whose   driving   the   bus…   whose   the   one   in   charge?   And   it's   you.       Notice   that   this   phrase   doesn't   tell   you   what   to   do.   The   phrase   evokes   a   response.  And  through  that  response,  you  modify  your  behavior.  If  it's  just   cliches.  We  ignore  those  very  very  quickly.  It's  another  post-­‐it  note.  Who   ordered  this...  Another  question.     “Who  ordered  this  truck  load  of  manure?”   Once   again,   you   have   to   check   cause   on   most   occasions   you'll   discover   that   you   had   a   big   hand   in   unloading   that   pile   of   manure.   You   got   a   pile   of   manure,  your  hand  is  on  it.”   Basically   this   process   taps   into   the   law   of   small   behaviors.   Behaviours   that   are   repeated  over  time  by  repeating  small  actions  over  and  over  again  can  produce   really  big  results.     In   fact   every   skill   you   have   today   is   the   result   of   typically   thousands   of   repetitions  in  order  for  you  to  be  able  to  do  it  unconsciously.  Each  time  you  do  an   action  you  brain  records  it  as  “that  was  a  good  one,  keep  that”  and  strengthens   the  network  of  nerve-­‐brain-­‐response  potential.   How  will  you  use  this  principle  to  better  your  life  today?  

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Action: Purchase  a  deck  of  4x6  or  bigger  post-­‐it-­‐notes.   Create   2   slogans   and   1   succinct   question   that   ‘trigger’   you   to   start   entraining   more   of   the   kind   of   attitudes,   behaviors   or   thoughts   processes   that   will   greatly   benefit  your  life.   Write  each  slogan/question  in  BIG  letters  on  a  card.  Keep  them  front  of  mind  and   in  sight  everywhere  (this  will  require  you  to  have  multiple  copies).   A   lot   of   times   in   our   culture,   we've   forgotten   that   change   is   often   a   matter   of   repeating  and  aggregating  results  over  long  periods  time.   Let  go  of  any  expectation  that  everything  to  be  instantaneous.  Too  many  people   have   the   idea   that   change   is   like   a   microwave   oven,   you   just   put   something   in   and  "BING",  the  bell  goes  off,  and  then  there's  the  result.     The   secret   that   most   folks   wont   tell   you   is   that   for   the   most   part,   people   don’t   work   like   that.   Yes   behavioral   changes   can   be   trained   in   to   occur   quickly,   but   unless  you  have  the  skill  to  know  how  to  do  that  (which  is  a  big  topic  and  one  we   cover   in   the   Platinum   Audio   News   Club)   and   how   a   pattern   of   behaviour   is   habituated,   re-­‐wired   and   installed   in   someone,   then   use   “a   note   to   self”   and   keep   it  everywhere.   When  you  are  first  training  a  new  pattern  in,  use  the  post-­‐it-­‐note  to  trigger  you   STOP,  pause  and  read  the  card  and  then  figure  out  how  you  can  act/demonstrate   what  is  presupposed  on  the  card.  It’s  kind  of  like  a  mini  performance  check.   For  example  I  (Tom)  have  many  4x6  notes  around  my  office.     One  says:   “What  is  essential?”   Another  says:   “Simplify,  less  clutter”.   And  I  have  many  others.     They   help   keep   me   focused   and   are   contextualized   to   various   outcomes   I   have.   It’s  hard  to  ignore  something  that  is  right  there  in  front  of  your  face.   You  don’t  need  a  fancy  process  to  get  great  results.     Simple  tools  used  effectively  can  have  a  profound  impact  on  your  life.    

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  If  you  want  to  create  more  of  the  life  you  want  then  one  component  every  person   will  need  is  ACTION!   Every  successful  person  knows  in  order  to  make  something  worthwhile  happen  -­‐   someone  has  got  to  do  something.   The  most  common  response  you  will  hear  people  say  is:   “But  I  don’t  have  any  motivation?”   to  which,  if  this  is  a  common  phrase  you  use,  ask  yourself…   “What  am  I  practicing?”   Using   NLP   on   yourself   means   using   the   toolset   recursively   on   your   own   thoughts-­‐feelings-­‐behaviours   to   make   life   enhancing   corrections   and   adjustments,   so   what   you   wish   to   experience   and   have   in   your   life   stars   showing   up  more  often.   For   example   we’ve   already   covered   the   three   most   common   obstacles   that   people   experience   when   they   try   to   apply   the   techniques   of   NLP   to   themselves   but   don’t.     If   you   don’t   have   any   motivation…   which   is   to   say   you   are   not   yet   motivated   enough   to   stop   doing   whatever   it   is   you   are   currently   doing   (distraction   activities)   and   START   doing   what   it   is   you   say   you   want,   then   rather   than   treating   this   as   many   folks   we’ve   meet   do,   that   “mommy   took   my   spoon   away”  start  thinking  and  acting  like  someone  how  has  been  trained  in  NLP.   Become  curious.  

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SHIFT   your   thinking.   Rather   than   wondering   “what   is   wrong   with   me?”   or   “I   feel   so  bad  that  X  hasn’t  happened  yet”  etc.  start  focusing  on  discovering  just  how  you   are   able   to   produce   X   feeling   (e.g.   jaded,   apathetic   etc.)   and   demonstrate   the   behaviour  of  “whenever  I  think  of  doing  X  I  always/almost  always  do  something   else/put  it  off”.   Once  you  have  discovered  how  you  are  able  to  do  it…  what  do  you  now  need  to   do   differently,   in   terms   of   how   you   represent   the   desired   behaviour,   what   would   you  need  to  say  and  in  what  voice  tones  and  from  where  and  what  states,  when   present,  would  evoke  a  feeling  of  action-­‐urgency-­‐compulsion  to  do  it2?,  etc.   Use  the  NLP  sub-­‐modality  contrast  pattern  to  identify  the  critical  sub-­‐modalities   that   make   the   most   difference   for   you   when   you   instinctively   do   something   naturally  and  easily.     Then  one  by  one  change  the  “old  way”  of  thinking  about  it  until  you  match  it  with   the  new  way,  that  is  motive  evoking.   There  are  so  many  way  you  can  use  the  techniques  of  NLP  to  better  your  life.   Action:   From   this   day   forward,   start   using   the   technology   of   NLP   on   yourself   to   error   correct  and  diagnose  where  you  are  and  help  build  a  bridge  to  where  you  want   to  be.   There   are   many   models   and   techniques   you   are   use   to   get   things   going.   Before   you  choose  a  technique  to  use,  ask  yourself:   What  is  my  desired  state?   How   would   I   know   when   I   have   achieved   it?   (define   this   in   behavioral   sensory  based  words)   What  is  my  present  state?   What   constraints   or   factors   are   currently   stopping   me   from   already   having  my  desired  outcome?   What   resources   do   I   need   to   get   me   from   my   present   state   to   my   desired   state?    

What  strategies,  contacts,  knowledge,  skills  are  required?  

What   must   be   so   in   order   for   the   present   state   to   be   transformed   into   the   desired  state?                                                                                                                   2  Whatever  “it”  is…  for  example    

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How  should  these  be  organized  and  prioritized?   What’s  my  next  action?   By  when  will  I  commit  to  doing  this?   These   are   a   sub-­‐set   of   the   well-­‐formed   outcome   framework,   but   are   enough   to   get  you  moving  and  take  anyone  from  a  place  of  inaction  to  movement  towards   their  goals.   The  big  error  that  many  people  make  when  they  “try”  to  use  NLP  techniques  on   themselves   is   they   have   “muddled   thinking”.   You   are   likely   experiencing   this   when:   • • • •

You  aren’t  able  to  hold  a  clear  representation  of  what  you  want   Are  confused  about  what  is  required   Find  yourself  delaying  or  not  taking  action   Are  spending  more  time  looking  externally  than  trying  to  find  an  answer   inside  yourself  

Everyone  experiences  this  from  time  to  time.  Yet  muddled  thinking,  left  without   any   intervention   by   you,   can   result   in   months,   years,   even   decades   going   by   without  any  effective  action  to  help  you  get  what  it  is  you  want.   Rather  than  wishing  or  hoping  that  someday,  somewhere  things  will  be  more  like   you  want  them  to  be,  use  the  toolset  of  NLP  on  yourself,  to  better  your  life.     “Circumstances  don’t  make  the  man,  they  only  reveal  him  to  himself”   Epictetus    

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  “OK,   I   am   clear   that   the   buck   stops   with   me,   that   I   am   the   adult   in   the   room,   that   the   technology   of   NLP   is   not   a   magic   bullet   but   rather   a   “operating   system”   I   can   use  in  every  area  to  continually  improve  my  life.  The  question  is  how  do  I  take   action?”   This  one  is  simple  –  “JFDI”  or  Just  f**king  do  it.     Borrowing  from  the  famous  sneaker  company.  The  notion  of  just  doing  it  we  add   the,   the   modifier,   "f**king"   just   f**king   do   it   to   indicate,   that   we   have   been   dragging   some   what,   we   have   been   less   than   responsive   to   the   needs   of   the   moment.   And   the   change   in   transformation   is   often   simply   a   matter   of   doing   something.   It  has  nothing  to  do  with  how  we  feel.     It  has  nothing  to  do  with  how  motivated  we  are.     It   has   nothing   to   do   with   whether   we   are   “feeling   bad   about   ourselves”   or   whether  we  are  on  top  of  the  world.     JFDI.     That's  life.  Just  f**ing  do  it!     Enough  said.  

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Action: Where  and  how  in  your  life  can  you  inject  the  JFDI  attitude  into  something  that   has  been  dragging?   How   has   the   idea   that   you   need   to   feel   a   certain   way   before   you   can   take   purposeful  action  been  costing  you?   There  is  huge  power  in  just  deciding  you  are  going  act,  and  then  immediately  and   without  any  delay  –  ACTING.   JFDI   Use  it  everywhere  and  you’re  life  will  be  transformed.  

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  If  there  is  one  thing  that's  true  about  how  people  manage  not  to  change  and  not   do   things,   it   is   by   separating   the   moment   of   decision   to   do   something   from   the   moment  when  you  take  action.     The  more  time  that  exists  between  the  decision  making  point  and  taking  action,   we   call   that   the   ratio   of   mischief.   And   that   extends   over   time.   The   more   space   there   is   between   that   decision   and   taking   action,   the   more   mischief,   the   more   garbage,  the  more  nonsense  people  tend  to  put  in  between.     That  gap,  is  where  many  people  fall  down  and  confuse  “talk”  with  action.   So   the   principle   here   is,   reduce   that   ratio.   Make   the   decision   and   do.   Make   the   decision  and  do.  Make  the  decision  and  do.  Get  it  down  so  that  once  you  make  a   decision  to  do  something.  The  only  next  thing  is  to  doing  it!   Watch  your  life  take  off.   Action: How  big  is  ratio  of  mischief  for  you?   Do   you   habitually   decide   something   and   then   immediately   take   action?,   or   do   days,   weeks,   months   or   years   pass   and   still   no   real   tangible   progress   has   been   made?   If   so,   your   task   is   to   start   training   yourself   to   take   immediate   action.   Bring   a   sense  of  urgency  into  what  you  are  doing.   Once  you  have  decided  something,  take  some  action.  JFDI!   Copyright  NLPTIMES.COM,  all  rights  reserved  in  all  media.  

 

Suddenly   you   will   find   more   of   the   things   you   want   showing   up   and   you   will   amazed   at   how   much   more   you   are   able   to   get   done,   each   and   every   day,   moving   each  of  your  most  important  goals  forward.  

  Quite  often  when  people  are  having  difficulties,  either  figuring  out  what's  going   on,   what   to   do,   or   even   how   they   are   feeling   in   situations,   what   is   missing   is   clarity   around   the   verb.   The   problem   is   not   about   how   you   feel   or   about   using   what  someone  say  to  create  more  abstractions.  Discover  what  the  verb  is.  Things   come  about  by  doings.     When  somebody  says,  “he  hurt  me”.     You  have  to  have  a  little  bit  more  information.  It's  not  just  that  the  verb  hurt  is   enough  to  describe  the  situation.     “He  hurt  me  deeply,  he  hurt  you  deeply”.     “Where?”   “In  my  heart”     “What  did  he  stick  a  knife  in  you?”   “No,  he  broke  my  heart.”   Well,  you  see  you  have  to  be  able  to  tell  the  difference  between  a  metaphor  and   reality.   When   somebody   says   that   their   heart   was   broken,   what   they're   saying   is   that   they   feel   bad,   they   feel   really   bad   that   something   happened.   But   we   can't   actually  break  each  other's  hearts.  They  should  have  told  this  us  at  school.  Maybe   they  did,  maybe  we  were  all  asleep.     Copyright  NLPTIMES.COM,  all  rights  reserved  in  all  media.  

 

But,  there's  a  difference  between  how  we  talk  about  things  and  the  way  the  world   is.     And  in  starting  to  search  out  what  is  the  actual  doing,  getting  over  these  images,   these   poetries,   these   metaphors   and   down   to   exactly   to   what   is   happening.   Quite   often  doing  so,  is  sufficient  to  make  it  easier  to  get  moving.     People  often  don't  start,  cause  things  look  too  big.  Just  physically  too  big  and  they   don't  get  into  the  habit  of  breaking  things  down  to  the  physical  doings.  It's  a  trick   which   is   used   in   many   methods   of   productivity   and   goal   setting.   But   it's   one   that   everybody  needs  in  their  life.  In  order  to  get  moving  all  you  really  need  to  do  is   start  the  very  next  physical  step.     If   you   have   a   big   mess,   it's   not   about   cleaning   the   entire   mess   out.   It's   about   standing  up,  walking  across  the  room,  picking  up  one  thing  and  moving  it  to  the   bin.  It's  the  very  next  physical  action  and  then  taking  it.  And  then  taking  the  very   next  physical  action  and  then  taking  it,  and  then  pretty  soon  you're  walking.   Action: Try  it  out  for  yourself.     Pick  any  area  you  would  like  to  get  a  better  result  on.     Identify:   • • •

What  the  desired  state  is?   Then  ask  yourself,  what’s  the  verb  here?  that  when  is  brought  into  action   will  help  me  dramatically  move  this  situation  forward?   Focus   on   just   one   verb   for   now.   Pick   the   top   verb   that   will   have   the   biggest  impact  and  go  do  that.  

You  will  be  surprised  at  how  much  better  your  life  will  be.      

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  Another   great   question   to   ask   yourself   when   you   find   your   ass   dragging   about   doing  something  you  want  is  to  ask  yourself:   “What  is  really  cool  about  this?”   Don't  worry  about  motivating,  don't  worry  about  benefits.  What's  cool  about  it?   You  see  quite  often,  when  people  are  thinking  about  something,  especially  those   awful   tasks   that   seem   too   vague,   they   are   only   looking   at   what   seems   to   be   the   case  of  the  moment.  Not  thinking  about  all  the  possibilities  around  it.     For   example,   you   have   to   clean   the   garage   and   you've   been   avoiding   doing   it.   Days,   weeks,   maybe   even   months.   By   asking   yourself   “What's   cool   about   it?”   you   send   your   place   off   to   a   resourceful   place.   It   might   be   A,   that   your   wife   stops   bugging  you,  B,  that  you  can  actually  park  the  car  in  the  garage.  C,  it  might  be,  it   might  be  it  might  be.     Figure  out  what's  cool.  And  watch  stuff  become  easier.     Action: Pick  one  area  of  your  life  where  you  find  your  have  been  dragging  and  take  out   an  A4  or  legal  writing  pad,  and  ask  yourself  “What  is  really  cool  about  this?”   Commit  to  coming  up  with  at  least  five  things  that  are  really  cool  about  what  will   occur  as  a  result  of  you  taking  care  of  that  thing  you  had  been  putting  off.     Feel  that  sense  of,  “you  know  what,  when  I  have  done  this,  that  will  be  really  cool   because  reason  a,  b,  c  etc.    

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Then   while   you   are   in   state   go   get   into   action,   either   literally   start   on   doing   whatever   “it”   is.   Half   the   battle   in   anything   is   getting   started.   Once   you   start,   you   can  finish.  Keep  focusing  on  what  is  cool,  that  you  will  get  to  enjoy  as  a  result  of   getting  your  “thing”  done.    

  In   NLP   there   is   much   discussion   about   “time”,   using   “time”,   changing   your   timelines   etc.   These   abstractions   are   handy   for   certain   processes,   yet   some   people  want  an  even  quicker  way  to  use  “time”  to  help  create  more  of  what  you   want.   This  is  easy.  If  you  are  looking  at  something  and  you  don't  want  to  do  it  or  you   are   avoiding   doing   it,   change   the   time   frame   to   two   years   from   now.   And   whatever  that  is,  still  being  there.  Notice  what  else  goes  wrong  when  you  delay   not  doing  it.     Like   for   example,   if   you   like   a   clean   home,   then   don't   leave   stuff   in   place   for   long   periods  of  time,  cause  it  will  attract  dust.     Imagine   in   two   years   from   now,   not   ten   years   from   now...You   see   if   it   doesn't   have  a  date  on  it,  it's  just  for  a  place  for  dust  to  collect.     A  big  part  with  getting  good  with  NLP  is  learning  how  to  change  your  thoughts   quickly  and  easily.  When  you  are  stuck  on  something  –  to  quickly  and  effortlessly   “Get   OFF   it”.   This   simple   process   of   changing   the   time   frame   so   that   the   representation  it  calls  up,  evokes  you  into  action.   You  can  wait  in  life  for  stuff  to  pile  up,  or  you  can  use  your  brain  today,  to  rapidly   shift  yourself  into  action.    

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Action: By  this  point,  you  will  have  noticed  we  have  shared  many  ways  for  you  to  change   your   mind,   move   into   action,   speed   up   the   time   between   having   a   thought   and   manifesting  a  result.     Take  something  you  would  like  to  be  doing  more  of,  but  presently  are  not  and  do   a   thought   experiment.   Change   the   time   frame   from   today   to   2   years   out   from   now,   then   five,   then   ten,   all   the   while   leaving   whatever   it   was   that   you   should   be   doing,  not  done.  Notice  what  happens…     Keep  re-­‐running  different  “realities”  of  what  you  will  miss  out  on,  the  good  things   you  won’t  experience  and  the  negative  stuff  you  will  experience  etc  until  you  find   you  can’t  “take  it  anymore”,  i.e.  that  you  have  run  over  threshold.  Then  run  that   movie   five   times   each   time   making   the   consequences,   of   not   taking   action,   worse   and  worse.  You  know  you  have  “struck  the  right  chord”,  when  you  find  yourself   now  compelled  to  take  action,  to  get  this  goal/thing  moving  forward.  Take  some   action  right  away.    

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  Nobody's   perfect.   Everybody   forgets   important   events.   But   what's   worse-­‐-­‐   at   least   for   guys,   it   seems   to   be   truism   that   quite   often   we   even   forget   about   the   spontaneous  events  that  we  planned.  We  always  intended  to  do  that  thing  to  pick   up  the  flowers,  the  gesture  to  let  our  significant  other  know  that  we  love  them.       Start  planning  your  spontaneous  actions.  Put  the  date  in  the  diary.     Pre-­‐order   the   flowers,   did   you   know   that   you   can   pre-­‐order   flowers.   You   can   have  flowers  delivered  a  month  in  advance.  You  can  have  little  things  planned  in.     Plan  your  spontaneity.     Action: Open   your   diary   and   schedule   3   cool   things   for   you   and   your   loved   ones   that   you’d  like  to  do.  Book  that  thing  you’ve  wanted  to  do  for  some  time.  Pick  up  the   phone  and  get  a  couple  of  your  friends  enrolled  in  something  different.     Don’t  wait  for  “the  good  life”  to  show  up  for  you.  Go  out  there  and  make  it.  

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  For  some  people  this  will  appear  to  be  radical,  and  for  others  it  might  appear  to   be  blaspheming.  But  the  reality  is  a  thought  is  just  a  thought!   One   of   the   design   features   whether   by   God,   or   by   evolution   is   that   when   we   think,   we   have   the   mechanism   in   place   that   tend   to   automatically   produce   feelings  and  connections,  as  if  whatever  we  thought  was  real.  Where  as  actually,   the   thoughts   in   our   head   are   just   thoughts!   They   aren't   real.   They   are   ideas   about,   they're   opinions.   Start   labeling   the   stuff   that   goes   through   your   head   as   false.  Just  a  thought…  just  a  thought…just  a  thought.     See   even,   your   judgments   of   other   people.   Especially,   you   know   those   totally   objective  and  god-­‐like  observations  of  other  people's  characters  flaws,  you  know   the   ones   that   we're   so   kind   with   to   our   friends   and   loved   ones.   Those   are   just   thoughts,   they   aren't   real.   We   may   have   evidence.   We   may   think   that   we   have   evidence.  Again,  they  still  are  just  thoughts.     Every  time  you  feel  bad,  say  to  yourself,  it's  just  a  thought.     Eventually,  once  you  start  to  recognize  that  some  thoughts  are,  just  thoughts,  and   they're  not  worth  thinking.  You'll  wake  up  one  day  and  suddenly  go  “I  am  feeling   bad”.  And  hear  yourself  say,  that  is  just  a  thought,  I'm  not  going  to  do  it”.     You   stop   doing   it,   cause   you   are   bored   with   it.   It   requires   no   more   than   that.   Not   for  everybody  and  not  for  everything.  Understand  we're  talking  about  becoming   more  experimental  and  practical,  and  using  your  mind  to  improve  your  life.   Embrace  this  “reality”  and  your  life  will  be  transformed.     Copyright  NLPTIMES.COM,  all  rights  reserved  in  all  media.  

 

Action:   When  you  train  your  mind  to  realize  that  a  thought  is  just  a  thought,  and  that  you   can  intentionally  use  your  mind  to  feel  better,  to  enjoy  your  life  more  you  have   taken  a  significant  step  on  the  ladder  of  self-­‐mastery.   Using  the  patterns  of  NLP  on  yourself,  seeing  “a  thought  as  just  a  thought”,  means   you   are   free   to   hit   the   off   switch   on   re-­‐watching   old-­‐worn-­‐out   movie   reruns   of   stuff  that  makes  you  feel  bad.   It’s  not  necessary.       This   one   habit   can   transform   your   life   and   free   you   up   from   years   of   counter-­‐ productive   energy,   crappy   feelings   and   generally   feeling   bad.   Now   so   we   are   clear,  using  NLP  on  yourself  is  NOT  about  never  feeling  bad.     As  human  beings  we  have  been  given  the  full  spectrum  of  emotions  and  feeling   so   called   “bad”   is   not   always   a   “bad”   thing.   We   are   social   animals   there   are   certain   times   when   it   makes   perfect   sense   and   purpose   to   feel   “bad”,   “loss”,   “sadness”   etc.   This   process   of   reminding   yourself   that   “a   thought   is   just   a   thought”   is   a   powerful   anchor   for   you   to   stay   grounded   in   the   world   and   to   be   at   cause,  in  terms  of  your  emotions  and  thought  processes  and  not  at  the  “mercy”  of   emotional  storms.  

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  I   am   not   a   believer   in   you   create   your   own   reality.   That's   a   cruel   and   vicious   thing,  it's  unproven,  it's  just  an  assertion  usually  by  people  who  don't  think.  They   are   not   thoughtful   enough.   What,   we   don't   create   our   own   reality,   you   don't   create   that   number   twelve   bus   that's   coming   at   you.   But   you   do   get   to   choose   what  happens  t  o  a  certain  extent.     You  may  be  able  to  recognize  just  in  time  that  a  bus  is  coming  towards  you  and   leap  out  of  the  way  or  it  may  be  too  late,  the  bus  is  going  to  hit  you.  But  to  say   that  you  created  that,  as  someway  of  explaining,  that's  just  bullshit.  It's  another   convenient  way  of  blaming  people  for  circumstance.   But   in   terms   of   your   day   to   day   life,   an   awful   lot   of   what   you   experience   in   terms   of   the   qualitative   aspects   of   existence.   Not   the   quantitative   ones.   But   the   qualitative  aspects,  depends  on  what  you  are  willing  to  put  up  with.     For   example,   somebody   who   is   very,   very   tidy   or   indeed   of   going   into   the   extreme   of   that   of   being   obsessive   compulsive   disorder,   can-­‐not   tolerate   anything   but   a   certain   configuration.   A   certain   arrangement   of   objects   in   the   room.   Certain   level   of   cleanliness.   A   certain   level,   below   which   they   cannot   allow   otherwise  they  have  a  very  strong  reaction  towards.     Other   people   can   tolerate   massive   amounts   of   disorder.   Massive   amounts   of   dirt,   and  when  that  gets  pushed  into  an  extreme,  where  they  actually  avoid  cleaning   where   they   actually   avoid   throwing   things   away,   then   we   have   another   kind   of   disorder.     But   in   between,   at   each   and   every   level   there,   we   have   the   fact   that   whatever   we   are  willing  to  tolerate,  whatever  we  allow  to   be  as  a  regular  presence  in  our  lives   becomes  the  quality  in  which  we  experience  life.    

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Now,   I   am   using   the   analogy   at   the   moment   of   stuff.   Objects.   That's   the   exactly   the   same   for   people.   The   people   in   your   life   that   you   tolerate,   the   attitudes   of   yourself   and   others   you   tolerate,   the   moods   etc.   and   any   other   aspects   of   your   experience.     In  terms  of  the  quality  of  experience,  what  you  tolerate  is  your  reality.     And  we  can  change  a  hell  of  a  lot  more  than  most  people  imagine.     Action:   Ask  yourself:  “What  am  I  tolerating  in  my  life  right  now?”   Choose   one   thing   you   will   no   longer   tolerate.   Put   a   new   way   of   being   into   action,   so  that  that  thing  you  used  tolerate,  you  tolerate  no  more  and  have  transformed   your  experience  around  it.  It  might  be  a  mood,  an  attitude  a  certain  expectation   you   have   for   yourself.   Commit   to   changing   that   one   thing   now.   Once   you   have   done   so,   identify   the   next   thing   you   will   no   longer   tolerate,   that   will   greatly   improve  your  life.    

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  When   people   suffer,   particularly   when   it's   been   for   a   long   time   the   stress   mechanisms,   the   ways   of   adapting,   the   defensive   behaviours,   postures   and   attitudes   often   become   habituated   to   the   point   where   someone   can't   imagine   that   there's   any   other   possibility   aside   from,   what   they've   been   doing   and   how   they've  been  feeling.     When   somebody   gets   into   this   state   though,   the   other   possibility   is   that,   rather   than  trying  many  different  approaches  and  new  approaches,  they  will  stop,  stop   the  experimenting,  stop  the  trying,  and  stop  working  in  order  to  create  results.     Why?     Because   the   longer   a   problem   goes   on   and   the   more   energy,   time   and   commitment  has  gone  into  it,  the  more  a  cure,  or  a  resolution  for  that  problem   becomes  a  threat  to  the  value  of  having  had  the  problem.     In  other  words,  some  people  would  choose  to  defend  their  own  suffering  rather   than  find  a  cure/resolution.     Because   it's   somehow   devalues   all   the   time   that   they   spent   identifying   themselves  as  being  broken.  As  being  whatever  the  label  is.     If  you  defend  the  suffering…  in  other  words  by  explaining  too  much  about  why   you   got   the   problem   or   too   many   excuses,   rather   than   if   you   say   you   want   to   change   than   looking   at   what   needs   to   be   done   and   getting   on   with   it.      

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If  you  defend  the  suffering,  wasting  your  time  and  wasting  everybody  else's  time   as  well.     Suffering   is   suffering.   There's   real   suffering.   There's   real   suffering   that   comes   from   imagination.   And   there's   real   suffering   that   comes   from   the   body.   Actual   suffering.  The  body  doesn't  care;  it's  all  suffering.     But  there  is  a  difference  between  defending  it  and  resolving  it.     Action:   By   this   point   I   hope   you   have   realized   that   using   NLP   on   yourself   is   not   all   about   using  XYZ  technique  or  repeating  WQR  pattern  over  and  over  again.  Getting  good   with   the   technology   requires   that   you   get   into   the   habit   of   using   it   first   on   yourself  to  better  your  own  life,  and  then  others.   Sure,  you  can  find  people  who  are  skilled  with  NLP,  but  never  got  past  the  “its  all   about   me   and   look   how   good   I   am”,   which   is   mostly   infantile   BS.   Set   a   higher   standard  for  yourself.     Take   a   deeper   look   inside   yourself,   that   is…   reflect   and   ask   yourself   “where   have   I  been  defending  the  suffering?”     Look  for  the  “stuff”  you  consistently  bitch,  moan,  whine  or  are  righteous  about,   particularly  where  it  applies  directly  to  you.     Everybody  has  areas  where  they  are  defending  the  suffering.  A  good  way  to  find   it   is   to   uncover   any   area   where   you   someone   else   is   wrong,   that   you   are   the   “victim”.   Now   before   you   go   down   this   road,   if   you   have   already   started   hearing   a   voice   inside   your   head   that   is   going   “Yes,   BUT….”   that   voice   there   is   likely   to   be   an   example  of  defending  the  suffering  in  motion.   Many   years   ago   I   (Tom)   was   working   in   a   factory   in   Limerick,   Ireland   making   computers  for  Dell  Computer  Systems.  I  was  about  16  at  the  time  and  I  had  just   sat  my  leaving  cert,  which  is  are  the  final  school  exams,  that  you  need  to  do  well   in  if  you  intend  to  do  particular  third  level  courses  at  University.   Anyway,   unfortunately   I   didn’t   get   the   number   of   points   that   I   had   hoped   for,   even   though   I   had   worked   my   socks   off   all   year   but   fell   far   short.   I   was   angry,   annoyed  and  felt  “screwed  over”  by  the  system.  An  older  friend  who  worked  with   me  on  the  factory  lines  kept  asking  me  one  simple  question:   “Tom,  what  went  wrong,  why  didn’t  you  get  the  results  you  wanted?”   To   which   I   give   reason   after   reason,   justification   after   justification,   this   person   messed  up,  that  teacher  shafted  us,  the  school  results  board  was  fixed  etc.  etc.  

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You  can  imagine  I  worked  myself  in  to  a  right  frenzy.  This  pattern  continued  for   about  three  weeks,  where  ever  now  and  then  my  friend  would  ask  me  the  same   question,  over  and  over  and  after  a  while  I  was   getting  fed  up  of  answering  it.  In   fact  as  I  was  sharing  with  my  friend  “why”  this  happened  I  could  tell  by  looking   at  him  he  was  listening,  but  he  didn’t  believe  it.   And  the  truth  was,  deep  down  I  didn’t  believe  it  either.  At  first  I  thought  he  was   looking   for   me   to   give   him   some   specific   answer   that,   up   until   then,   had   been   avoiding  me.  He’s  ask  me  the  same  question,  wait  till  I  expound  off  more  reasons   why   it   hadn’t   happened   and   then   he   would   ask   me   “was   there   no   one   else   responsible?”   And  I’d  think  for  a  while,  and  go  down  some  new  rabbit  hole.   But   then   one   day   I   didn’t   have   the   energy   to   give   the   same   old   story   over   and   over  again.  And  he  asked  me  at  the  start  of  our  shift,  as  he  always  would,  “Tom,   why   didn’t   you   get   the   results   you   wanted?”   and   like   a   bolt   of   thunder,   the   answer  hit  me.   I  didn’t  get  the  results  because  I  didn’t  get  the  results.   End  of  story.   It   was   a   bitter   pill   to   swallow,   but   the   undeniable   truth   was   I   didn’t   get   the   results   because,   whatever   else   happened,   I   didn’t   get   the   results.   And   the   only   thing  worth  doing  at  that  point  was  go;  “OK,  now  what?,  What  are  you  going  to   do  instead?”   So   I   decided   to   re-­‐enroll   for   another   year   in   a   repeat   program   and   I’m   pleased   to   say,  when  I  did  so  it  totally  changed  the  course  of  my  life  and  everything  got  so   much   better   from   there.   In   fact   it   is   unlikely   that   I   would   ever   have   been   introduced  into  NLP  if  I  hadn’t  had  the  conversation  with  my  friend.   Now   another   good   friend   would   jokingly   say   “This   isn’t   a   time   to   hold   hands,   grab  a  tree  and  cry.”   If  you  aren’t  getting  the  results  you  want  in  your  life  or  you  aren’t  happy  about   wherever  you’re  life  is  right  now  and  you  are  busy  giving  excuses,  long-­‐winded   narratives  or  other  stories  to  pass  the  time  then      STOP  DEFENDING  THE  SUFFERING   Yes,  your  reasons  may  be  valid.   Yes,  the  system  might  be  screwing  you.   Yes,  life  could  seem  crap  etc.  etc.  

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But  ultimately  none  of  that  really  matters  from  the  perspective  of  helping  you  get   what  you  really  want  for  your  life.   Ceasing  to  defend  the  suffering  is  not  something  you  do  just  once  in  your  life.  It  is   an   ongoing   commitment   to   be   solution   and   action   focused.   Commit   today   to   investing   your   energy,   finite   will   power   and   resources   into   creating   what   you   really  want  and  not  what  isn’t  “right”  with  the  world.    

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  Understanding   is   the   end   and   the   enemy   of   the   learning   process.   Most   people   think   understanding   is   the   learning   process,   whereas   think   about   it.   If   you're   pursuing   a   course   of   study   in   order   to   understand.   What   is   that   understanding   made  up  of?     Well  typically  it's  somebody  else's  map.  Somebody  else's  representation  of  what   is  so-­‐-­‐  that  you  then  take  and  integrate  with  yours.     Also   conventionally   when   people   talk   about   learning,   they   recommend   that   once   everyone  encounters  something  new  that  the  first  thing  that  you  are  trying  to  do,   is  figure  out  how  it's  just  like  something  they  already  know.     Now,  if  we  are  talking  about  a  novel  experience  in  a  novel  situation.  By  making  it   exactly   like   what   they   already   know,   then   rather   than   experiencing   the   novelty   and  discovering  something  new  that  hasn't  been  discovered  before.  Instead  what   they're  doing  is  killing  that  novelty.     Now,   one   further   thing-­‐   everybody   has   their   own   level   and   criteria   for   understanding.   Some   people   need   the   big   picture   only.   They   just   need   an   overview   and   then   that's   it.   As   soon   as   they   get   what   they   think   they   need   or   what  they  think  they  desire,  they  switch  off.     Somebody   else   needs   many,   many   representations   and   huge   amounts   of   detail.   Particularly,   historical   detail.   Particularly   of   one   kind.   What   this   does,   is   it   tells   them  if  they  have  enough.     Enough  for  what?     Enough  to  satisfy  the  habit  that  they've  set  for  what  understanding  means.   Copyright  NLPTIMES.COM,  all  rights  reserved  in  all  media.  

 

What  I'm  suggesting  is  that  understanding  is  as  much  a  habit  of  how  we  chop  the   world   down   into   little   pieces,   as   it   is   about   something   that's   actually   out   there   in   the   world.   When   I   say   “understanding   is   the   end   of   the   learning   process.”     When   people   get   the   feeling   that   accompanies   understanding,   it   literally   stops   further  inquiry.  And  when  that  understanding  is  just  a  style,  just  a  presumption,   just   a   preference-­‐-­‐   a   habit   established   from   the   past.   Now   what   you   are   saying   is   that  understanding  really  is  nothing.   Action:   If  you  truly  want  to  improve  your  life  and  get  better  with  NLP  then  give  up  the   need  to  reach  the  end  of  the  learning  process.     Stay   involved   and   interested   in   discovering   what   you   don’t   know   and   cultivate   an   attitude   of   curiosity   wherever   you   go.   It   will   make   your   life   more   rich,   rewarding  and  enjoyable.     Richard  Banlder  once  said:   “Having  a  certificate  on  the  wall  that  says  you’re  a  neuro  linguistic   programmer  really  shouldn’t  make  it  so  that  you  become  pompous.  It  should   make  it  so  that  you  know  how  much  you  don’t  know.  And  the  truth  is  that   most  people  who  do  NLP  don’t  practice  it  enough  and  don’t  have  enough   training.  The  people  that  have  apprenticed  with  me  for  long  periods  of  time   end  up  being  able  to  do  a  lot  more.  Not  because  they  were  exposed  to  a   different  class  but  because  the  level  of  perceptions  by  which  they  looked  at  the   same  thing  changed.     And   be   distrustful   of   feeling   right   if   you   can’t   alter   something   quickly   and   easily.   That   if   you   know   how   to   work   with   a   phobia   and   you   encounter   somebody  who  doesn’t  get  rid  of  it  well  either  it’s  not  a  phobia  or  else  you’re   not   doing   it   right.   And   those   are   the   times   where   instead   of   feeling   like   you   failed   you   should   feel   the   opportunity   is   knocking   at   the   door.   The   best   stuff  I  ever  found  was  the  quirky  weird  clients  that  came  in  that  nobody  could   help.   In   fact   one   of   the   most   powerful   techniques   I   use   now   has   to   do   with   spinning  feelings  either  forward  or  backwards  or  side  once  that  direction  the   other  clockwise  and  counter  clockwise.”   Certifications   and   “papers”   of   accomplishment   are   nice,   but   remember   that   all   NLP   certifications   are   really   the   start   of   the   learning   process,   not   the   end.   Rid   yourself  of  any  need  that  you  must  understand  in  order  to  act.    

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  Whenever   you   are   about   to   embark   on   a   new   goal   or   have   something   you   are   seeking,  start  first  with  creating  the  final  snapshot  for  how  you  want  it  to  be.   Start   with   the   final   snapshot   is   similar   to   the   expression   “start   with   the   end   of   mind”,  but  that  has  become  a  cliché.  Start  with  the  final  snapshot  reminds  us  to   have   a   sensory-­‐grounded   representation   of   what   it   is   we   wish   to   see/hear/feel   when  we  have  accomplished/reached/achieved  whatever  it  is  that  we  aspire  to.   The   reason   why   you   start   with   a   representation   of   how   something   finishes   is   because   that   allows   you   to   create   the   criteria   that   let's   you   know   whether   you   are  moving  towards  what  you  want  or  away  from  what  you  want.     You  use  those  criteria,  when  you  check  every  once  in  while…   -­‐ -­‐ -­‐ -­‐

How  are  we  doing?     How  far  have  we  got?     What  have  we  created  so  far?     What  needs  to  change?  

Without  those  criteria  you're  not  going  to  know.  You  may  be  wasting  your  time.   You  may  be  doing  something  dumb.     So  you  start  with  the  end  in  mind.  This  allows  you  to  make  better  decisions  in  the   choices  in  your  life.    

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Action:   Review  your  top  three  goals/priorities  for  this  year.     Do  you  have  a  clear  sensory-­‐based  snapshot  of  what  you  want  to  see,  when  you   have  successfully  achieved  whatever  it  is  you  are  seeking?   Can   you   describe   the   criteria,   that   when   present   will   indicate   you   have   been   successful?     Do  you  know  what  order  your  resources  need  to  be  arranged  in  order  to  achieve   your  desired  outcome?   By   answering   these   questions,   you   will   bring   your   aspirations   to   life   and   have   better  distinctions  that  let  you  know:   -­‐ -­‐ -­‐

If  what  you  are  doing  is  working   If  you  need  to  change   When  it  is  time  to  get  help  from  an  external  resource  

Once  you  identify  what  gaps  if  any  exist,  spend  ten  minutes  focusing  on  the  “final   snapshot”,  the  end  state  you  are  aiming  for.  Enrich  your  representation  of  it.  Do   this   process   each   day   for   a   week   and   you   will   start   to   see   significant   improvement  towards  the  realization  of  your  goal.  

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  The  pace  of  life  seems  to  be  getting  quicker  and  quicker  for  many  people  and  the   amount   of   time   we   have   to   pursue   our   dreams   and   do   what   we   want   is   most   certainly   finite.   You   wouldn’t   think   it   though   to   look   at   how   many   people   approach  going  after  their  goals.   One   viewpoint   is,   a   lot   of   time   is   wasted   on   activities   that   don’t   hold   any   meaningful  value  for  us,  and  it  is  becoming  more  common.   You   hear   about   “millions   suffering   from   attention   deficit   disorder”,   is   ADD   a   disorder  of  attention  or  a  disorder  of  a  compelling  intention?   Either  way,  most  of  us  are  unaware  of  the  cost  an  undirected  mind  can  be  costing   you.     The  truth  is  most  of  us  are  guilty  of  “someday”  or  “tomorrow  I’ll  do  it  syndrome”.   However  there  is  a  better  way,  there's  a  different  way  than  being  at  the  effect  of   “whatever  shows  up”,  and  that  way  is-­‐-­‐  when  you  start  getting  clear  and  honest   with  yourself  about  what  it  is  you  really  want.     Clarity  really  is  power.   That  clarity  and  honesty  and  directness  in  yourself  will  affect  your  relations  with   other   people.   They'll   start   to   get   that   you   are   straight   in   terms   of   your   intent.   That   you   are   not   attempting   to   manipulate.   Believe   it   or   not,   there   are   more   people   who   are   willing   to   help   you   than   you   can   imagine.   They   don’t   want   though  to  be  manipulated  by  you  (nor  of  course  you  them).  Therefore  you  have  is   to  learn  to  ask  for  and  act  from  simplest  intents.      

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When   you   aren’t   clear   on   your   intent,   your   ability   to   take   consistent   goal   oriented   action   suffers.   Weeks   pass   by   and   you   find   you   have   very   little   meaningful  work  done.   By   clarifying   your   intent,   it   makes   you   congruent.   Congruent   means   there   is   only   one  message.  It's  not  like  your  shaking  your  head  no  while  saying  how  happy  you   are   to   be   somewhere.   That's   incongruent.   The   congruency   does   is   it   sends   the   message  that  you  are  sincere  and  serious  on  what  you're  talking  about.  That's  a   good   thing.       Also,   if   you   want   to   make   your   work   easier.   Clarify   your   intent,   what   do   you   intend  to  do?  There's  a  wonderful  consultant  heuristic.  Like,  intend,  must.  Before   we   start   a   piece   of   work   consider   for   a   moment   what   it   is   you   like   to   do.   With   that   piece   of   work,   with   that   period   of   time.   State   what   you'd   like   to   do,   then   state  what  you  intend  to  do.  What  is  your  intention  for  this  work  in  this  period  of   time?  Then  find  this  state  what  you  must  do,  or  what  you  must  accomplish.  Try   that.  And  notice  how  much  easier  the  work  goes.     Action:   Review   the   activities   you   completed   in   the   past   week.   How   aligned   were   they   with  your  intent?  Did  you  even  have  a  conscious  intent?     If  so,  how  well  have  you  done  for  your  actions  to  be  congruent  with  that  intent?     Take  out  a  Post-­‐it-­‐note  or  3x4  card  and  write  down  in  big  letters,   What  is  my  intent?   Keep  that  card  with  you  for  the  next  few  weeks  and  every  time  you  are  about  to   start  a  task,  ask  yourself  what  is  my  intent?   Once  you  are  clear  on  your  intent  you  can:   -­‐ -­‐ -­‐

Embrace  the  work  that  will  make  the  most  difference  to  you   Say   no   to   projects,   requests   and   activities   that   take   you   away   from   you   goal   Focus   on   ensuring   every   action   you   take   is   taking   you   closer   to   your   desired  outcome  

   

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  Ever  feel  like  you  have  a  “motivation”  problem?     Everybody   does   in   some   areas.   The   trick   to   get   yourself   moving   is   to   ask   yourself:   What  is  going  to  make  it  worth  my  while?     Ponder  on  this,  go  deep  and  look  to  find  the  answers  that  will  help  you  quickly   work  out  ahead  of  time  if  you  have  the  “emotional  juice”  to  get  started,  but  also   to  keep  moving.  As  the  old  personal  development  phrase  goes:   “Inspiration  is  what  gets  you  started.  Habit  is  what  keeps  you  going.”   You   need   both.   In   NLP   we   would   say   you   will   want   to   invoke   a   strategy   that   gets   you  motivated  AND  a  strategy  that  keeps  you  motivated.   Often  people  get  the  first  one  going  but  forget  about  the  second.   By  asking  yourself  “what  is  going  to  make  it  worth  my  while?”  you  can  find  the   “representational  juice”  (the  right  set  of  pictures,  sounds,  internal  dialogue  and   feelings)  to  call  you  into  life.     It   starts   with   intention,   beginning   with   the   end   snapshot   in   mind   and   having   a   compelling  representation  of  what  is  going  to  make  it  worthwhile  for  you.    

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You  see  there  are  two  ways  that  people  motivate  themselves.  One  is  by  moving   towards  what  they  want.  The  other  is  by  attempting  to  avoid  or  evade  what  it  is   that   they   don't   want.   Figure   out   what   you   primarily   are.   Everyone   will   have   certain   tendencies.   When   you   know   what   these   are   you   can   become   creative   around  how  you  are  going  to  add/remove/re-­‐engineer  the  component  available   in  order  to  make  something  worth  your  while,  so  that  it  moves  you  into  action.   With  regards  to  some  goal  you  actually  want  (vs.  is  a  goal  that  was  trained  into   you),   have   a   think   through,   what's   going   to   make   this   worth   my   while?   What's   the  payoff  going  to  be?     If   the   payoff   is   strong   enough,   you   will   tend   to   take   action   regardless   of   what   seems   to   be   arising.   But   if   the   payoff   is   not   big   enough   you'll   discover   that   obstacles,  hindrances  and  obstructions  seem  to  arise  as  if  from  the  very  ground   itself.  As  if  the  earth  is  standing  in  your  way.     If  that  is  the  case  you  know  what  you  need  to  do.   -­‐ -­‐ -­‐

You  can  add  more  components  of  pleasure  or  pain   You  can  look  to  remove  certain  elements  of  pain  or  pleasure   You  can  re-­‐engineer  the  pain,  pleasure  aspects  of  the  goal.    

Action:   Take  some  area  of  your  life  where  you  would  like  to  make  progress  on.  Set  a  new   goal  and  start  playing  with  the  ideas  you  has  been  learning  here.   -­‐ -­‐ -­‐

What  is  going  to  make  it  worth  your  while?   What’s  the  payoff  going  to  be?   How  do  you  want  the  end  snapshot  to  look  like?  

Once  you  have  done  these,  ask  yourself:   -­‐ -­‐

Am  I  motivated  to  take  action,  to  start  on  this  today?     Do   I   have   compelling   enough   reasons   to   continue   with   whatever   is   required  to  achieve  this  goal?   o If   not   become   creative   and   figure   out   what   you   need   to   add/remove/re-­‐engineer  about  the  payoff  so  that  it  IS  motivating   for  you   o Run   a   movie   in   your   mind   seeing   the   payoff   occurring.   Use   the   appropriate   sub-­‐modality   preferences   (e.g.   make   the   movie   big,   bright,   colorful   etc.)   that   work   best   for   you   so   that   it   tells   your   brain  “I  WANT  THIS”.     o Re-­‐run   the   movie   several   times   so   the   idea   of   doing/achieving/manifesting  whatever  it  is  you  want  really  excites   you.   Copyright  NLPTIMES.COM,  all  rights  reserved  in  all  media.  

 

  The  key  is  to  be  flexible  in  your  approach,  creative  and  persistent.   If   you   find   you   are   unable   to   get   the   requisite   “juice”   going,   then   take   a   step   back   and  evaluate  what  you  think  is  stopping  you?   Are  you  defending  the  suffering?   Are  you  unclear  about  the  steps,  procedure  to  make  the  goal  happen?   Have  you  made  the  task  seem  enormous  and  therefore  it  is  too  daunting?   If  you  the  answer  to  any  of  these  is  “Yes”  then  hear  yourself  say  in  your  mind:   “My  thoughts  are  just  thoughts.  I  only  need  to  move  it  one  step  forward  right   now.  What  resources  do  I  need  to  move  this  forward?”   Ask  yourself:   “What’s  the  verb  here?”   For   example,   if   you   don’t   have   a   clue   where   to   start,   it’s   time   to   get   external   input.     Ask  yourself  whom  do  you  need  to  call,  email,  meet  etc?   Keep  playing  with  the  verb  until  you  found  the  one  that  works  best  and  leads  you   to  taking  tangible,  progressive  action.   When   you   follow   this   approach,   most   complications   can   become   unstuck.   You   have   moved   yourself   from   the   world   of   abstractions   and   “thinking   about   thinking”  to  sensory  based  actions  of  “I’m  doing  X  activity  now”.   And  action  beats  inaction  nearly  every  day.   JDFI!  

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  The  whole  university  approach,  the  whole  schooled  based  approach,  yes  indeed   is   very   interesting,   wonderful,   exciting.   Except   that   in   most   instances   it   doesn't   require   anymore   than   being   able   to   remember   and   articulate   other   people's   ideas.   The   problem   when   somebody   leaving   university   today   is   when   they   attempt  to  enter  the  job  market  by  and  large,  they  can't  spell,  they  can't  add  up   and  they  have  no  idea  about  the  professions  they  are  entering  into.     This  is  not  a  criticism  of  young  people  or  a  particularly  criticism  of  the  university   system.   It's   always   been   this   way.   What   it   is,   is   it's   a   criticism   of   people's   expectations.       Until  you  have  experience  and  until  that  experience  goes  through  your  physical   body,  you  actually  don't  know  a  damn  thing.  You  can  have  all  kinds  of  opinions.   You   can   quote   dozens   of   references,   you   can   repeat   other   authorities   statements   forever,  but  it  doesn't  make  you  any  more  able.     Something   is   not   learned   until   you   experience   it   for   yourself   through   the   body.  If  you  want  to  get  good  at  NLP  or  anything  else  for  that  matter,  always   prefer  doing  to  talking  about.     Action:   Many   NLPers   seem   to   think   there   is   a   secret   formula   to   becoming   really   good   with   NLP,   that   if   one   only   knew   then   you   would   be   an   international   success   overnight.  Sorry  to  say,  but  that  isn’t  so.  There  is  no  magic  formula.    

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Everyone   who   you   have   ever   seen   or   meet   who   is   good   at   anything   are   so   because   they   did   the   practice,   did   the   “doing”   of   their   profession   over   and   over   again.   NLP   is   no   different.   No   unconsciously   installation   or   rapid   learning   method   is   going   to   avoid   the   fact   that   you   must   output,   i.e.   practice   the   skills   if   you  are  to  get  really  good  at  it.   Your  action  is  ask  yourself,  how  much  of  the  technology  of  NLP  is  just  theory  to   me  and  how  much  of  it  have  I  actually  practiced?     Then  set  a  goal  to  double  your  skill  set  in  one  particular  area  of  the  technology   and  going  about  doing  just  that.  

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  While   we   are   on   the   topic   of   learning,   realize   that   you   don't   really   know   something  until  you've  practiced  it  thoroughly  in  all  of  its  component  parts.  And   all   of   its   aggregate   elements.   And   we   are   not   talking   about   a   little   bit,   we   are   talking   about   a   lot.   When   somebody   plays   a   musical   instrument   and   plays   it   really  well.  They  haven't  done  just  one  thing  over  and  over  again.  They've  done   many,  many,  many  things  in  many  different  combinations  over  and  over  again.     One   of   the   surest   ways   for   somebody   to   screw   up   with   their   practice   is   by   trying   to  become  fast  by  just  playing  fast.     The  rule  is  in  music  at  least.  If  you  want  play  fast,  play  really,  really  slow.  What   that  does  is  it  forces  you,  it  forces  every  single  bit  of  you  to  concentrate  and  to   surrender   to   what   it   is   that   you   are   studying.   While   you   go   slowly,   you   are   building   up   the   habit   of   removing   excess   effort   and   excess   tension   from   the   process  of  making  music.     At   the   same   time,   you   are   ensuring   that   only   the   target   notes   and   only   the   target   qualities  are  being  created.  That  is  what  slowing  down  allows  you  to  do.     Once  you  play  really  slowly,  really  well  then  you  can  begin  to  speed  up  but  only   as  much  as  you  can  maintain  the  quality.     Eventually,   eventually   your   fingers   will   fly   over   the   keyboard,   fly   over   strings.   But  you  can't  skip,  you  can't  skip  over,  the  steps  in  a  physical  process  of  learning.       If  you  do,  it  guarantees  that  your  practicing  errors.  One  step  at  a  time.  If  you  go   quick;  practice  slow.      

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Action:   List   three   areas   of   your   life   where   you   will   apply   the   “one   step   at   a   time”   approach  to  getting  good.   In  NLP  we  presume  that  “if  one  person  can  do  something,  then  anyone  can  do  it”.     While  this  isn’t  necessarily  true  in  every  case,  it’s  a  great  belief  to  have.  We  also   presume  that  every  behaviour  has  a  structure  to  it.   Therefore   take   any   skill   you   want   to   get   good   at   and   break   it   down   into   the   component   parts,   what   skills   are   ubiquitous   (used   throughout)   and   what   skills   are  sequential?  Which  comes  first,  second,  third?   For   example   if   you   want   to   get   good   at   anchoring   you   need   to   first   get   good   at   eliciting  states.  You  need  to  be  have  the  skill  of  being  able  to  notice  and  respond   to   effect   of   your   communication   on   the   listener   (feedback   –   a   skill   required   throughout   the   anchoring   process)   …   so   you   can   quickly   modify   your   own   behaviour.       When  you  break  any  skill  down  in  this  way,  and  practice  each  component  until  it   you   have   rehearsed   every   aspect   of   it   –   you   will   find   you   can   make   a   huge   difference  in  your  performance.  Remember  slow  is  smooth  and  smooth  is  fast.  

  Very  few  people  actually  think.     It's   requires   that   you   change   what's   going   on   in   your   head   and   especially   challenging  how  you  know  what  it  is  that  you  think  you  are  certain  of.     Far   too   often   when   people   say   that   they've   thought   about   something   and   decided,   what   you'll   actually   discover   is   that   they   haven't   thought   at   all!   All  

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they've  done  is  they'd  run  through  the  same  procedure  that  they've  run  through   before.  At  no  time  did  that  they  actually  modify  the  process  of  their  own  thinking.     It's   assimilation   thinking   that   goes   on   quite   often.   It's   kind   of   like   when   people   make   decisions   whether   it's   for   something   big,   like   a   house   or   car,   or   for   insurance,   or   how   they   order   a   pizza,   or   how   they   choose   a   mate,   the   decision   criteria  are  held  in  exactly  the  same  way.     That's  not  thinking.     That's   conforming   the   world   to   a   strategy   that   they've   already   habituated.     In   other  words,  they're  on  automatic  pilot.     Most  of  the  time,  people  think  they're  thinking.  Are  you?   Action:   One  of  the  core  skills  of  NLP  is  behaviour  flexibility.  And  we  don’t  mean  just  in   terms  of  your  outward  behaviour,  but  also  your  ability  to  change,  reorient,  move,   expand,  contract,  go  laterally  etc.  with  your  thinking.   Your  action  from  this  note  is  –  challenge  your  thinking  regularly  –  seek  new  and   different   perspectives.   Try   out   different   thinking   heuristics   frequently.   Whenever   you   are   certain   of   something,   force   your   mind   to   find   ten   counter   arguments  with  your  position.  Most  people  when  they  have  made  their  mind  up   on  something  only  look  for  evidence  to  support  their  conclusion.  Do  the  opposite.   Try   and   prove   yourself   wrong.   Look   for   another   vector   by   which   you   can   challenge  and  expand  your  own  thinking.   Do   you   really   think   Richard   Bandler   was   able   to   come   up   with   DHE   and   NHR,   simply   from   sticking   within   the   confines   of   his   own   or   indeed   society’s   “traditional”  thinking?   If  you  want  to  excel  with  NLP,  then  become  a  student  of  how  people  decide,  and   how   people   think.   Doing   so   will   open   up   a   whole   world   of   insights   and   opportunity   and   ultimately   make   you   incredibly   resourceful   in   just   about   any   situation.        

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  Figuring  out  what  technique  you  can  use  is  one  of  the  trickier  challenges  many   NLPers   face.     The   exact   number   of   techniques   vary   from   over   200   to   over   ten   thousand,   according   to   some   sites.   So   the   question   becomes   how   can   I   decide   what  to  use,  when?       The  answer  to  this  is  easier  than  most  people  realize.       Firstly,   all   of   the   techniques   of   NLP   are   made   up   of   only   a   handful   of   core   patterns,  which  have  been  used  over  and  over  in  slightly  different  ways.  So  there   really  isn’t  several  hundred,  or  indeed  thousands  of  entirely  unique  techniques.   Often   what   is   described   as   a   “new   technique”   is   really   just   a   variation   or   expansion  of  an  old  one.     You   see   human   beings   only   have   five   senses3,   of   which   we   have   two   primary   modes  of  using  them…  internal  representations  and  external  representations.   For  example  with  visual  sensory  system,  i.e.  stuff  you  can  see,  we  can  either  1)   see  something  external  to  us  (we  call  that  visual  external)  or  we  can  2)  imagine   in  our  minds  seeing  something  (we  call  that  visual  internal).  The  same  applies  to   each   of   the   other   sensory   systems.   Yes   there   are   some   core   nuisances   to                                                                                                                   3  At  least  that  is  what  we  presuppose  in  NLP.    

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understand  about  each  sensory  system  (sub-­‐modalities  for  example)  and  about   how  human  beings  wire  things  up  and  create  their  experience  of  reality  (which  is   outside  the  scope  of  this  program  but  covered  in  our  Platinum  Audio  News  Club),   but   the   reality   is   there   are   only   a   core   set   of   patterns   that   drive   all   the   techniques.   Even  if  you  don’t  know  yet  what  these  are,  how  can  you  decide  what  technique  to   use  with  yourself  or  others?   Ask  yourself  this  question:   What  is  the  function  I  am  looking  for,  in  order  to  achieve  my  desired  state?   Broadly  speaking,  all  of  work  we  do  with  NLP  could  be  described  as  the  process   of:   -­‐

Quantifying   and   qualify   the   desired   state   (DS)   followed   by   the   present   state  (PS)  

-­‐

Identify   what   resources   you   need   to   move   from   the   present   state   to   the   desired  state  

-­‐

Then   apply   those   resources   and   modify   your   approach   based   on   the   feedback  

So  let’s  say  that  you  have  had  some  trauma  in  the  past  and  every  time  you  think   of  X  event  you  instantly  start  feeling  scared/angry/tearful  etc.  (PS)   Well  one  of  the  basic  rules  of  thumb  in  NLP  is  if  you  want  to  feel  something  more   you   associate   into   it,   but   when   you   want   to   feel   something   less   intensely,   it   is   generally  wise  to  disassociate  from  it.   So   let’s   apply   that   rule   of   thumb   to   this   situation.   If   you   experienced   some   trauma   and   it   is   still   bothering   you,   but   wish   it   didn’t,   you   want   to   feel   neutral   about  it  (DS),  a  good  idea  is  to  disassociate  from  it.  

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So   now   that   we   know   the   function   that   we   want   (disassociation),   we   can   pick   up   any   NLP   technique   book   and   start   scanning   for   NLP   techniques   that   primarily   use  the  function  of  dissociation  to  create  the  end  effect.   A  quick  scan  of  any  pattern  book  we  find  techniques  like:   -­‐

The  triple  dissociation  technique  

-­‐

The  resolving  internal  conflict  pattern  

-­‐

The  advanced  visual  squash  pattern  

-­‐

The  dis-­‐identification  pattern  

-­‐

Change  personal  history  pattern  

-­‐

Various  time-­‐lining  patterns  such  as  the  re-­‐imprinting  technique  

-­‐

Etc.  etc  

As   you   can   see,   there   are   numerous   NLP   techniques   that   function   on   a   pattern   of   dissociation,   which   we   can   leverage   for   our   purpose   of   un-­‐sticking   a   traumatic   experience.     Get  it?   Rather   than   asking   “what   technique   should   I   use?”   ask   yourself   “what   function   am  I  looking  for?”,  then  use  the  technique  books  of  NLP  to  identify  patterns  that   provide  that  function.  Once  you  have  found  them  start  using  those  techniques  on   the  problem  state.     One   point   worth   noting   is   that   the   function   you   choose   will   be   dependant   on   the   description   you   use,   the   frame   of   reference   you   have   created   to   describe   the   “problem  state”.   Without  going  into  a  lot  of  detail,  in  NLP  we  have  multiple  ways  of  describing  a   problem  state.  Some  will  be  more  useful  than  others  in  certain  situations.  Using   the  example  of  overcoming  a  trauma  we  could  describe  it  reporting  on  the:   -­‐

The  sensory  patterns,  e.g.  visual  representation,  associated,  very  close  etc.  

-­‐

The  strategy  syntax,  e.g.  Ve  -­‐>  Vir  -­‐>  K-­‐  

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-­‐

The  meta-­‐programs  patterns,  e.g.  associated,  past  oriented,  re-­‐active  etc.  

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The   language   patterns   e.g.   every   time,   always,   never   (universals),   life,   freedom,  frozen  (nomilizations)  etc.  

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The   state   patterns   e.g.   anxiety,   fear,   helplessness   etc.   which   are   embodied   as  rush  of  energy  starting  in  the  pit  of  their  stomach  and  moving  up  their   throat  etc.  

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The   physiology   patterns:   fast   breathing,   shortness   of   breath,   off-­‐balance   etc.  

Here   we   have   six   different   descriptions   we   could   use   to   go   about   transforming   the  PS  to  the  DS.  If  you  primarily  describe  it  as  a  sub-­‐modality  issue  (too  much   associated)  then  what  function  you  will  use  will  be  different  that  if  you  primarily   describe  it  as  a  strategy  problem  vs.  say  a  state  problem.   In  reality  you  are  actually  describe  the  same  effect  (the  traumatic  responses)  but   doing  it  from  different  angles.  So  now  you  have  multiple  “change  vectors”,  to  go   about  transforming  the  PS  on.   If  we  now  ask  the  question  “What’s  the  function?”  that  will  help  us  move  the  PS   description  to  the  DS,  we  have  many  more  options…  as  seen  below:   -­‐

The  sensory  patterns  –  we  can  use  a  dissociation  pattern,  outlined  earlier.  

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The  strategy  syntax  –  install  a  new  strategy  or  re-­‐engineer  the  old  

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The   meta-­‐programs   patterns   –   use   meta   program   change   pattern   to   become  dissociated,  at  choice,  present  timeframe  oriented  

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The   language   patterns   –   use   the   Meta   Model   and   Sleight   of   Mouth   patterns   to   “bust   up”   the   generalization   and   way   the   person   is   binding   their  trauma  experience  

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The   state   patterns   –   use   Kinesthetic   swish   or   “dissociate   and   spin   the   feelings”  pattern  

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The  physiology  patterns  –  break  their  state  e.g.  get  their  heart  pumping,   evoke  powerful  resource  states  and  collapse  the  negative  anchor.  

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As  you  can  see  there  are  many  vectors  you  can  transform  the  problem  state  from.   Some   will   get   you   further   than   others,   combined   you   have   a   very   powerful   combination  of  interventions  to  get  you  or  your  clients  to  results.   Action:   Starting  today,  start  training  yourself  to  ask:     What’s   the   function   that   is   needed   to   transform   the   present   state   to   the   desired   state?   Once   you   are   clear   on   the   function   you   are   looking  for,  then   use  the  many  NLP   techniques,  frameworks  and  tools  to  get  yourself  to  the  desired  result.  

  Richard   Bandler   has   a   few   phrases   that   sum   up   the   attitude   of   NLP,   especially   around  creating  change.  Read  each  of  these  and  ponder  how  your  life  would  be   different  when  you  adopt  them  as  the  mantra  you  live  by:   "You   are   born   with   only   two   fears:   fear   of   falling   and   fear   of   loud   noise.   All   the   rest   is  learned.  And  it's  a  lot  of  work!"   "Remember,  it's  your  own  body,  your  own  brain.  You're  not  a  victim  of  the  universe,   you  are  the  universe."  

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"If   you   say   to   yourself   'It's   difficult   to   get   up   in   the   morning',   'It's   hard   to   cease   smoking',  then  you  are  already  using  hypnotic  suggestions  on  yourself..."   “Why  be  yourself  when  you  can  be  someone  so  much  better?”   “You  are  going  to  change  today,  or  die  while  I’m  trying”   Essentially   half   the   success   in   life   is   showing   up,   the   other   half   is   continuing   to   show  up,  to  be  persistent  in  pursuit  of  a  worthy  goal.  Some  people  think  that     “If  I  use  an  NLP  technique  it  should  work  right  away!,  and  if  it  doesn’t  NLP   sucks!”   There  are  two  things  worth  addressing  here.  The  first  is  the  idea  that  NLP  is  an   instanteous,  magic  bullet,  never  fails,  always  works  expectation  that  simply  put   is   not   true.   NLP   is   an   evolving   technology.   Human   beings   have   all   kinds   of   interesting   ways   of   doing   things   which   means   no   proceedure   will   work   perfectly   for  everyone.  So  if  you  find  yourself  in  this  “NLP  should  always  work  right  away”   then  it’s  time  to  reconsider  that.   Secondly,  if  something  doesn’t  work  right  away  doesn’t  mean  that  it  sucks.  This   latter   attitude   is   something   you   will   hear   from   people   who   think   they   are   thinking…   They   may   have   some   experience   with   NLP,   but   most   likely   they   are   either   ignorant   of   what   they   are   talking   about   or   at   a   minumum   caught   up   in   a   huge   generalisation  (all  of  NLP  sucks)  which  is  flawed.   Either  extreme  forms  of  thinkings  are  likely  to  lead  you  down  the  wrong  road.   Action:   Here’s  a  third  approach.     Apply  what  you  have  learnt  here  about  NLP,  the  mindset  and  distcintions  about   how   to   use   the   technology.   Then   choose   a   pattern   to   help   change   something   in  

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yourself,   for   example   perhaps   you   will   use   the   “decision   destroyer”   pattern   or   the  “belief  change”  pattern.   Make  sure  you  follow  all  instructions  and  do  the  pattern  fully.  Repeat  the  process   several  times  if  you  need  to,  then  test  your  results.   Got  the  change  you  wanted.  Great  stuff!   If  for  some  reason  you  didn’t  get  the  change  yet,  then  you  have  three  choices:   -­‐

Review  the  scope  of  the  change  you  are  trying  to  do.  Are  you  trying  to  do   too   much   at   once   and   therefore   need   to   break   it   into   several   distinct   steps?  

-­‐

If   not   then   repeat   the   orginal   process   seeking   to   improve   your   implementation  of  it  

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Or  pick  another  technique  and  do  that  instead  

Bottom  line  is  be  persistent!   We   are   all   changing   all   the   time,   wheather   we   are   aware   of   it   or   not.   Some   techniques   work   better   if   you   can   have   someone   guide   you   through   it.   Get   the   assistance   of   a   friend   or   expereinced   change   agent   if   you   aren’t   able   to   get   the   result  you  want,  but  be  persistent!  

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Using   NLP   first   and   foremost   is   really   about   applying   the   tools   and   technology   continually  with  yourself  and  then  others.  We  have  covered  a  lot  in  this  program,   however  your  rewards  are  just  beginning.     From  today  onwards,  as  you  learn  something  new,  ask  yourself  “When  will  I  next   apply  this?”  and  then  set  the  intention  to  do  so  within  the  next  24  hours.  If  you   want  to  get  good  at  NLP  it  comes  from  practice.  Doing  what  is  necessary  in  order   for  you  to  get  feedback  on  how  well  what  you  are  doing  is  working.   Start  small.  Chunk  size  and  sequence  is  everything.  Take  1-­‐3  things  that  you  have   learnt  from  this  product  and  apply  it  every  moment/hour/day  of  this  week.   Perhaps   you   will   decide   to   using   NLP   to   become   more   productive,   happy,   successful,  or  whatever  it  is  you  are  valuing  right  now.   Final Action:   Figure   out   right   now,   which   of   the   24   key   distinctions   you   will   put   into   effect   right  away.  Then  get  your  hands  on  a  book  of  NLP  techniques  and  start  using  it  to   help  transform  your  life.  Remember  to  focus  first  on  what  is  your  desired  state,   what  you  think  is  stopping  you  and  what  function  will  help  you  get  from  where   you  are  to  where  you  want  to  be.   Be  persistent,  be  playful.  NLP  is  a  wonderful  technology.  If  you  use  it  every  day   and   apply   what   you   have   learnt   here   you   can’t   help   but   start   experiencing   a   much  better  quality  of  life.   We  wish  you  every  success  on  the  journey.   Michael  and  Tom   Copyright  NLPTIMES.COM,  all  rights  reserved  in  all  media.  

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