Unit 12 Revising

Proofreading, Editing, and Revising  Vivian Sinou

Don’t do it! 

There are some things you can do on your own to improve your paper!

Proofreading 

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Once finished with your draft, set it aside for a while--at least a full day. Go for a walk or do something fun to get away from it. Shortly thereafter, begin working on “polishing”  your paper. With a fresh mind, you will be more likely to catch the errors in it.

Proofreading Steps     

Read the paper aloud Check the thesis statement Check the paper’s development Check the paper’s coherence and unity Remember that you are writing for others.

Proofreading Steps Read your paper aloud again.   As you read, listen carefully and check your paper for grammatical or mechanical errors.  Make your own list of the errors you most often make and read the paper through one time for each type of error. 

Revising Strategies 

Once done with the proofreading steps just covered, you should work  with matters of style, meaning how  you have expressed your ideas.

Rule #1 

Cut out wordiness whenever possible.  – If you can cut a word, do so!

Examples:  – She told me that her name was Carol.  – Her name was Carol.

Rule #2 

 Avoid repetitious language

Examples:  – The feelings that I felt toward her were overwhelming.  – My feelings for her were overwhelming.

Rule #3 

 Avoid using vague language.

Examples:  – Another thing that bothers me about his teaching is the fact that he talks too much.  – Another aspect of his teaching that bothers me is that he talks too much.  – I never do stuff like that.  – I never act in that manner.

Rule #4 

 Avoid inexact or inappropriate language

Examples:  – She kind of knows what she wants to do with her life.  – She was uncertain of her goals in life.  – She does not know what she wants out of life.

Rule #5  Avoid using the verb  “to be” (is, are, etc.)  Use active verbs! 

Examples:  – Inflation is a threat to our society.  – Inflation threatens our society.

Rule #6 

 Avoid using “stretcher”  phrases such as “it is” and  “there are” 

Examples:  – There are several reasons for the United States’  entrance into the war.  – The United States entered the war for several reasons.

Rule #7  Avoid colloquialisms.  Replace them with fresh and more precise statements. 

Examples:  – Her behavior flipped me out.  – Her behavior first stunned, then delighted me.

Rule #8  

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Review your sentences! Make sure that no parts are “short and choppy.”  Break down exceptionally long sentences, or ensure that they are not run-ons.

Rule #9 

Review your diction  – Your word choice can affect the reader’s reaction.  – Try to anticipate your reader’s responses, and choose your words accordingly.

Examples:  – The media’s exploitation of the Clinton scandal showed how biased it was already.  – The media’s coverage of the Clinton scandal suggests the media had determined Clinton’s guilt.

Remember rule #1? 

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Cut out wordiness whenever possible. If you can cut a word, do so!

The End

Note to instructor: To practice revising paragraphs with the whole class, click  here.

Practice Session Let’s practice revising a passage. Use your notes to refer to the rules we just covered and let’s improve a piece of writing together.  – Example 1  – Example 2  – Example 3 Note to instructor: When you are ready to close this presentation, please do not “save changes” so that others can find these passages intact for future revisions. Thank you.

Exercise 1 Time passed, like it always does, and the child turned into a young person. She was, like a million other girls, pretty enough and smart enough, but to her parents she was the prettiest and smartest creature in the world. Because she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, the girl believed that she was much, much better than all of her girlfriends, that she was an especially special girl, and that an usual life was waiting for her.

Exercise 2 Many people feel like they are in love when their really only infatuated. They don’t understand that love and infatuation is quiet different. First infatuation just happens while love takes root and grows one day at a time. Second infatuation is accompanied by a sense of uncertainty. The individual is stimulated and thrilled but not really happy. On the other hand love is a feeling of security, the lover is warmed by a sense of nearness even when the beloved is away. Third infatuation tells us to rush and get married right away. Meanwhile love says, “Don’t rush into anything; learn to trust each other.” These are important differences, unfortunately to many people overlook them and wind up hurt in the end.

Exercise 3 Their are two reasons we should support the prohibition of the sale of handguns. The first is that, since murderous handguns are used solely to zap people they are not needed by anyone for sport or game hunting. In fact, they are not used by anyone interested in recreation. And handguns are responsible For the deaths of many, how would you feel if a loved once were killed by handgun? The second reason is that when the number of handguns is reduced, the number of killings decrease. They tried this in Baltimore. It really worked.

The End

Note to instructor: When you are ready to close this presentation, please do not “save changes” so that others can find these passages intact for future revisions. Thank you.