TRAIT Practice - Sentence Fluency

TRAIT PRACTICE: SENTENCE  FLUENCY  PRACTICE FOR: • Beginning sentences in different ways • Writing sentences of varying lengths • Writing sentences that flow well HOT
TIPS
FOR
WRITING
BETTER
SENTENCES:



 1. Combine
a
series
of
little,
choppy
sentences
into
one
smooth
sentence:
 • The
tornado
struck.
 • It
struck
without
warning.
 • It
caused
damage.
 • The
damage
was
extensive.
 
 Write
one
sentence
using
all
four
of
sentences:


 _____________________________________________________________________________
 
 
 2. Use
connecting
words
(but,
also,
and,
yet,
however,
nevertheless)
to
show
how
ideas
relate.
 • The
speaker
was
young,
nervous,
and
inexperienced.
 • She
mesmerized
the
crowd.
 
 Write
one
sentence
using
a
connecting
word:
 _____________________________________________________________________________
 3. Add
details
to
complete
the
picture.
 • She
stood
there,
looking
at
us.
 
 Write
this
sentence
adding
detail:
 










_______________________________________________________________________________
 4. Watch
out
for
run‐ons
(multiple
sentences
jammed
together).
 • I
thought
his
boring
lecture
would
never
end
my
eyelids
were
drooping
my
feet
were
 going
numb.


 
 Rewrite
the
sentence
using
more
than
one
sentence:
 
 
 5. Watch
out
for
ramblers
–
run‐ons
with
“and”
inserted.
 


•

Herby
was
clumsy
and
he
served
the
salad
and
it
spilled
on
everything
and
my
mother
 about
had
a
fit
and
she
screamed
and
the
cat
hid
under
the
stairs.



 Rewrite
the
sentence
using
more
than
one
sentence:
 
 
 
 6. Make
sure
pronoun
reference
is
clear.
 
 a. When
he
stuffed
the
parrot
into
the
cage,
it
made
an
odd
squeaky
sound.

(What
made
 the
sound
‐
the
parrot
or
the
cage?)
 
 Rewrite
the
sentence
making
it
clear:
 
 
 7. Avoid
shifts
in
voice.
 
 a. I
was
walking
down
the
street
on
this
cold,
clear
day,
and
suddenly,
you
saw
this
dark
 cloud
on
the
horizon.
 
 Rewrite
the
sentence
with
consistent
voice:
 












_______________________________________________________________________________
 











_______________________________________________________________________________
 





Sentence Fluency

Read the following paragraph. SASHA I love my dog Sasha. She is cute. She is black. She has white spots around her eyes. She has a short tail. Her tail is short because it got run over once. She has a little black nose. She has one ear that stands up. She has another ear that lays down. She has a pink tongue. She licks everyone. She has wet licks. Sasha is curious. Sasha digs holes. Sasha looks for things in the holes. She dug up a bone once. She stuck her nose down a deep hole once. She got surprised when she heard bees. Sasha got stung and ran away. Sasha doesn’t go by that hole anymore. Sasha drags home different things. Once she brought home a box. She also brought home a bicycle wheel. She even dragged home a Tiny Tike tricycle. She got in trouble. She had to give it back. I hope Sasha lives forever!

Directions: In the space below list the first word in each sentence. Count how many sentences begin with the same word. Do you see a pattern? Are all the beginnings the same or different?

Count the number of words in each sentence and make a list of the numbers below. Are the sentences all about the same length? If so, the writing is probably monotonous and not written with very good sentence fluency. There should be short and long sentences.




Now read the revised edition of the paragraph about Sasha.

Sasha I love my dog Sasha, from the tip of her little black nose to the end of her stumpy tail, still bent from when she got ran over. Sasha has one ear that stands up and one that lies down. She also has a pink tongue she uses to lick everyone’s face. Unfortunately for Sasha, she is very curious, and this gets her into trouble. She loves to dig, and she often finds bones in the yard. Once, however, she dug up a nest of bees and got stung. Boy, did she run fast! Sasha is also a collector. She has collected everything from boxes to bicycle wheels to a small tricycle. When she had to give the tricycle back, she pouted for a week. Can you see how special Sasha is? In spite of all her bad habits and funny looks, I hope she lives forever!

Directions: In the space below list the first word in each sentence. Count how many sentences begin with the same word. Do you see a pattern? Are all the beginnings the same or different? Is the sentence fluency different in this sample?

Count the number of words in each sentence and make a list of the numbers below. Are the sentences all about the same length or are they different lengths? Is the writing smoother?

Revising
Your
Draft


Think
about
it
/Write
it
down


1. This
paragraph
has
eight
sentences.

Most
of
them
are
very
short.

Revise
 this
paragraph
by
combining.

Try
to
make
it
four
sentences
in
all.
 
 Dinosaurs
ruled
the
land.

They
lived
for
more
than
140
million
years.

Then
they
 disappeared.

It
happened
suddenly.

Some
scientists
think
the
climate
changed.

 They
think
it
became
very
cold.

Dinosaurs
could
not
live
in
the
cold.

They
died
 off.


2. Most
of
these
sentences
begin
with
the
same
word.

Revise
the
paragraph
 by
changing
some
of
the
words
and
by
combining
sentences.
 
 The
brontosaurus
was
the
largest
dinosaur.

It
was
the
giant
of
the
dinosaur
 world.

It
stood
12
to
15
feet
high.

It
was
more
than
70
feet
long.

It
walked
on
 four
legs.

It
had
heavy
legs
like
an
elephant.

It
had
a
gigantic
body.

It
lived
in
 marshy
places.


It
ate
plants.
 
 





Practice:



Smoothing
Out
the
Writing
 Directions:
Revise
these
drafts
so
that
the
writing
sounds
smooth.

Take
out
or
add
words.

 Move
words
around.

Combine
short
sentences
when
too
many
of
them
begin
in
the
same
way.

 When
you
are
finished,
write
a
clean
copy
of
the
revised
draft.
 


A. This
is
part
of
a
news
report.
 An
oil
tanker
spilled
oil.

It
spilled
into
the
Gulf
of
Alaska.

It
spilled
over
11
million
 gallons
of
oil.

The
oil
spread
over
600
square
miles
of
the
gulf.

The
oil
washed
up
on
 the
beaches
also.

The
spill
threatens
the
lives
of
whales
who
live
in
the
area.

It
 threatens
the
sea
lions
who
live
in
the
area
too.

It
threatens
other
animals.

It
threatens
 the
fishing
industry
in
Alaska
also.

It
will
be
a
difficult
job
cleaning
up
the
spill.

It
will
 take
many
months.

It
will
cost
millions
of
dollars.
 
 
 
 
 





B. This
is
a
draft
of
a
thank‐you
note.
 Dear
Nadia,
 


Thanks
for
the
birthday
present
you
gave
me.

Thank
you
for
the
blue
shirt,
I
like


the
blue
shirt.

I
like
its
style.

I
like
its
color.

It
fits
me
just
right.

It’s
a
great
present.

It’s
 perfect.

I
can
wear
it
a
lot.

I
can
wear
it
for
a
lot
of
things.

I
can
wear
it
with
many
 outfits.

I’ll
ask
someone
to
take
a
picture
of
me.

I’ll
wear
the
shirt.

I’ll
send
the
picture
 to
you.

You’ll
see
how
handsome
your
brother
has
become!
 
 





Nick