Tom Gates: Excellent Excuses (and Other Good Stuff) Chapter Sampler

You get THREE

GOLD STARS

for reading this book (good choice).

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Sm

spare boots

eHom work

e ir P p m V a W A Mt e r S ns mo

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S

! e l mi

t n e l l e c Ex s e s u c x E er good stuff)

(and oth ecial glossary by TOM! p Includes a s

on h c i P z i L y B

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously. Copyright © 2011 by Liz Pichon All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.

Tree graph photo sy courte P. 21 of ichon y l i L P ery. Flann

First U.S. edition 2015 Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 2014944793 ISBN 978-0-7636-7474-8 14 15 16 17 18 19 BVG 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Printed in Berryville, VA, U.S.A. This book was typeset in Pichon. The illustrations were done in mixed media. Candlewick Press 99 Dover Street Somerville, Massachusetts 02144 visit us at www.candlewick.com

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(Ho

me wo

rk

sna cks

)

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W

ake up



this morning and

suddenly remember something absolutely

BRILLIANT!

1

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Ye a h !

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I

can forget ALL about lessons

(and irritating things like Marcus Meldrew). And concentrate on

GOOD

stuff like:



I



my sister, Delia.

nventing

D W E

new

ways to annoy (So many!)

rawing pictures



Ha! Ha!

(that annoy Delia).



atching



TV

and

eating caramel wafers.

ating caramel wafers

TV

and watching

And

most

.

important . . .

3

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-Band practice

with Derek



(who’s my best mate and



next-door neighbor.)

z zzzzzz onight we’re planning a sleepover

T



at his house. Which is easy



for

zz

to do

as he’s so close.

OK!

Excellent choice.

4

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O

ne of the other great things about going to

Derek’s is he

doesn’t

have an annoying

sister (like I do) . . .

AND

he has a dog called Rooster. Wo o f



W

hich I know is a stupid name



for a dog, but I’m getting used



to it (sort of).



S

almost

ometimes Rooster can be as annoying as Delia. Especially when

he won’t stop

BA R

KING !

Occasionally Derek Doggy

throws him a Treat

to shut him up.

Yu m!

5

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B

ut if that doesn’t work, I give him a

pair of

D elia’s sunglasses

to chew on. for

R

It keeps him happy

HOURS .

ight now I can hear

Delia

shuffling around outside my

bedroom (which usually means trouble).



So I

LEAN

on my door to stop her

from barging in.

S

omehow she

still

manages to

stick her

head

around the door.

She says . . .

6

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Ha! Ha!

trouble.

You’re in om wants to see

M



you

RIGHT NOW,

.



(That doesn’t sound good . . . groan.) I wish I could shut Delia up with a doggy treat. How good would that be?

DELIA TREATS SHUTS HER UP!

7

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W

hen I see Mom, she’s holding a

letter from school.

I’m trying

really hard to remember

ANYTHING



I’ve done

that might have gotten me into trouble.

No

. . . can’t think of anything.

Nothing at all. (I am innocent.)

B

ut by the way

in that



M

om is looking at me,

What have you got to say for yourself?

kind of way, I must have forgotten something. She gives me the letter to read.

8

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OK,



just remembered.

tes Mrs. Ga d n a . r tack To M s Dog At e t a G m R E : To a te s , d Mrs. G n a r. M r v ic io u s Dea f r o m th e d e r e v o c te r m om has re y o f th e T a t d a t s th la e p e o n th I do ho a c k e d h im tt a t a th dog c h o o l. lk e d to s efend as he wa o o k to d lb o o h c s a d h is th a t h e h k c lu t a Wh it h . t was h im s e lf w w o r k th a e m o h is h py THER co w a s o n ly O it N A d la is g ook/ I’m SO E n c lo s e d a f il m /b n o t To m . w d ie n v a e r d e chew r in g h is R K  — ​t o a g a in d u OMEWO te H le p e m th o c of m to  — ​f o r To TV show a s ts h o li d a y. G RY b e N A r e n o o th th e r e a r e e p o h s u tu r e ! L e t’ e in th e f c n u o p r e a d y to r h e lp . s for you k n a th y Man ards, K in d r e g

rman M r . F u Tl leea c h e r C la s s 5 F

9

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I

am trying to explain to Mom what

happened to me by reenacting the

whole

scene in slow motion. G

rr

rr

(There was no choice. . . . It was me or the homework.)

B

ut she’s

not

impressed. I think she

suspects I might have made up the dog attack (I did.)

I 1. D 2.N



nstead I have to agree to

:

o my review homework (AGAIN). ot use vicious dogs as an excuse

for lack of homework (or any other

r Gr

rr

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kind of creature, for that matter.) Hand over your homework.

Got it. Homework

If you insist.

Alien

3. C

lean my room. (Mom added that one.)

S

till, at



least I have



to do the



review homework in.

Though I will probably leave it until the last possible moment, like the night before school. That works for me. 11

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“NOW?

What do you mean I have to do my homework right now? I’ve still got

TWO WHOLE WEEKS!”

Mom says, “There’s no time like the present.” Then she adds, “No sleepover at Derek’s until you’ve done your homework.” Which is a

disaster! 12

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I have

to think of something to

Think . . .

review quickly. Mmmmmmmmm. think . . . think . . . think . . .

think. . . .

fast

If I don’t think of something Mom will keep me in the house

Then, just to add to the



,



Derek phones up to

find out what time I’m coming over for the sleepover and band practice.

I

when

hear Mom saying,

That all depends on how long it takes Tom to do his review homework, Derek.



(That’s ALL I need.) 13

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M

om thinks I should go to my room to

“sit quietly and concentrate on getting it done.” (It’s not working.)

B

L

A

N

K

14

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So I do some drawing instead. It’s a lot more fun inventing my own characters. . . .

Ha, Ha!

BODGE THE BROTHERS

Straw?

Rubbish at EVERYTHING The

ONLY thing I can think of that I

could review is the

concert that

Dad took me to. It’s actually a BRILLIANT idea because

is amazing. (Even Mr. Fullerman is a fan.)

Suddenly my review will be no problem at all. Derek’s house, here I come.

15

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REVIEW HOMEWORK

I

by Tom Gates went to see the

concert.

They are the

and anyone who doesn’t think so is a total

idiot.

The End

16

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I

run downstairs and show it quickly to Mom.

There . . . all done.

17

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I

am busy packing a few essentials

for Derek’s house when ROCK WEEKLY

Dad comes up

SNA

to see me.

Apparently

CKS RO CK

WEEK LY

Mom

doesn’t think I am taking my review homework “seriously.”

Dad

says I have do it again

“ properly .” Which is a bit

HARSH .

review was short,

(OK, I admit my

but true.)

D

ad suddenly holds up a packet of

wafers.

WA F E

“For the sleepover, when you’ve done your

RS

homework again, OK?”

18

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Su ddenly I

n fact I have a

I am

very

. TOTAL

BR A I N

WA V

E

to get my homework done in double-quick time. (I am a genius.) I run d o w n stairs and grab the first book from the shelf that looks thick (but not TOO thick.)

Mom

sees that I am holding a book and assumes that: SERIOUS ATTEMPT AT HOMEWORK.

THIC K BOOK

TOM



(She looks pleased with me.)

SI

GH . . .

19

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T

he book I’ve got is about . . .

let me see . . .



t ree s

Never mind, that will have to do. I can see there’s a lot of good stuff written on the back of this book (and inside!) that will help make my impressive indeed.

re v ie w

seem very

Here goes.

20

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Homework FINISHED.



Y EAH!

I tell Mom and Dad, and they want me to

READ “What,

it to them.

NOW?”

“Yes, Tom, now. We’d love to hear it.” (Which actually means “just checking you’ve really done it this time.”)

22

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D

elia is lurking in the kitchen, trying to





s l a m

listen. So I shut the kitchen



door (in her face), then read it as

quickly as I

can.

Luckily, my homework is EXCELLENT

(if I do say so myself).

Mom and Dad are pleased

and slightly

surprised I’ve managed to write

such

a

good review SO quickly. I let them see it by wafting it under their noses . . . super fast.

WA

FT

(Must remember to hide the book on trees.) 23

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M

om and

I

say, “It's all due to

so

D

ad say well done for being

FOCUSED .

." (Which is something I’ve heard my teachers say.) Then I add, “I’m actually VERY interested in

TREES. ”

(I’m not.) so

Sw eet

This goes down really well

and

stops Mom and Dad from asking me any more difficult questions.

GREAT! (I should say nice stuff like that more often.) 24

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T

hey are both in a good mood

now, so I

suggest that another sign of

would be to reward my hard work and

effort

with some

extra p o c k e t m o n ey ?

Which doesn’t go down quite so well.

No chance.



(Worth a try, though.) 25

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S LEEPOV E R AT D E R E K ’ S .

D



Yeah!

erek is happy



I’ve brought But stupidly, guitar

snacks.

I’ve forgotten to bring my for band practice. more

my special teddy

A nd

important ,

far I’ve left

at home. (I don’t tell

Derek because we agreed that Special Teddies were probably a bit we’re in a band.)

TOO babyish now that WR

ONG

26

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L D

uckily Derek’s house is right next door

to mine. So I run back home to get them both. elia

is sitting in the front

garden boyfriend,

Ed



with her “dodgy”

(or Ted

name is). He says,

or whatever his All right, Tom?

D Get lost … idiot.



(Which is nice and takes

me by surprise.) Then



T

elia shouts,

(Which is not a surprise at all.) hat’s when I notice Ed and Delia are

H!

UG actually

holding hands.

27

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It

.

’s

I feel a bit sick

and have to run into

the house quickly.

I

grab my guitar, teddy,

AND a selection of

embarrassing photos of Delia that I’ve been saving for a



very

special occasion.

I think this might be the

special

occasion I’ve been waiting for.

28

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Delia with a potty on her head

Delia after cutting her own hair with play scissors

Delia with scary smile

Delia after I pushed her into the mud (my personal favorite)

Delia with more bad hair and zits TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 29

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D

erek can’t stop laughing at Delia’s

photos.

Ha!Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha!Ha

!

W

e both agree that

photos

this

funny need to be shared with

other people. Other people like

D

elia’s boyfriend,

Ed.

30

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(I have a

good plan.)

31

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Tom Gates: Excellent Excuses (and Other Good Stuff) L. Pichon

www.candlewick.com