The Rules of Texting

 

The Rules of Texting A Guide to Getting You You More Dates & Less Flakes 

The 4 Things that Need to Happen Before the First Text (the interaction) 1. You know her name and she knows your name. I know this is basic but I have lost a lot of numbers when I first started out so let’s prevent that from happening to you. When you get a phone number I always have her input her name and number into my phone. And when she gives me my phone back I immediately or within the next 15 minutes send her my name and maybe a short line of call back humor from the interaction we had (more o that later). The goal here is to eliminate the chance of her responding to your first text with “who is this? Or you getting the 1st date but not knowing her name. 2. Go for longer inte interaction ractions s with the girl. All phone number are not made equal. If you just met a girl and the interaction was only OK and it lasted for less than 5 minutes. That phone number is very weak and your starting off on a bad start. You don’t really have enough runway to get something going so you’re trying to get a plane off the ground without much content to to work with. The longer the interaction the more of a runway you have which will make texting, flirting, and setting up the date much easier on yourself. 3. Seed a reason reason to text her her. During your interactions you should be seeding future dates or potential future meet ups even with friends. I usually ask girls in my interactions “so what’s your favorite yogurt...I can learn a lot about a girl by the type of yogurt she likes and the toppings she chooses or talk about happy hour spots.” Or i’ll say “you can go anywhere under $25 in our town where would you go?” It’s fun and playful yet that’s not the point, what i’m doing here is seeding for a potential date.

When I do text her and ask her out to yogurt or to go on a hike then it makes sense because we already discussed this in our interaction. Seeding potential dates in your interactions increase the chances of her response and her wanting to see you again. 4. Stay with her for at least 1 minute after getting the number number.. This is my most recent discovery and I found that if I get a girl’s phone number and instantly leave then that number will do ok and I’ll probably see her again. Yet, I found that if I just stayed with her and talked for at least another minute and then texted her later the response rate was nearly 100%! Women don’t like to feel used and when you just ‘hit and run a girl’ and get her phone number she feels like you took something from her and will often get buyers remorse. When she gives you her number and you stay with her she feels more comfortable and trusts you more. Your investing extra time with her and it isn’t so much about the number but about getting to know her. Don’t collect

 

phone numbers guys collect solid connections with women and you won’t have to worry so much about her not responding...

The 3 Things To Always Be Doing: Adding Value 1. Flirt, be authentic & have fun 2. Keep it simple & straightforward 3. Handle logistics & setup the date

The 6 Things to Not Do: Reducing the Friction 1. Negative things. Nothing negative. Positive, fun, let’s hangout vibe only. 2. Being unclear saying jokes or things that might not be easily understood via text or that can be taken the wrong way. Remember she doesn’t know you yet. For example sarcasm or self deprecating humor can hard to understand via text. 3. Closed statements that leave her with nothing to easily respond to unless it’s giving value which i’ll touch on later. 4. Too many emojis or characters.  An emoji is those smile faces, animated animals or food. You can use them but if you use them all the time it’s a little too feminine especially when a girl doesn’t know you yet. It comes off a bit childish so save it for when you get to know her better or use them rarely. A good emoji here and there can illicit positive emotions but too many and you overdose. 5. Long paragraph texts. It just shows too much emphasis and thought was put into the text. It comes across as needy and you guys really just met so relax. This is kind of

an old school rule of thumb but keep your text length equivalent or less than her text length. Once you find your own groove do whatever you want, but until then stick to that. Or even sending multiple texts 3+ without her responding. Give her a chance to respond just like you would in a normal conversation. 6. Texting late at night or early in the morning. Generally texting between 1am-11am shows that you don’t have much going on and yields a low response rate. Flip the script and imagine a girl you just met texting you at 4:30am or 7am. I would think this is a low value girl who doesn’t have much going on in her life and really values me high even though we just met. Keep in mind those times are for girls you just met or if your in the early dating stages, so once you get to know a girl do what you wish at your own risk.

Also going 3+ days without responding back to her because you’re busy will kill the number. Or if everything was going well but you didn’t push for logistics and set up a

 

date then the connection will slowly die down. If she’s responding positively to you then you need to assume that she would like to see you again but remember the weight is on your shoulders to make that happen. Women will not be asking you out for the first date that is your job. She’ll move on because she thinks you already did, which may not have been the case so don’t forget to respond even if you don’t know what to say! The goal is to reduce the amount of friction by having solid interactions and only giving her value texts and not giving her a reason to not respond. As we all know once she stops responding to a few of your texts then it becomes more consistent and she’ll eventually stop responding to altogether. Dead number! 

How to Add Value Through Text & Always Get a Response The immediate goal is to add value through text. And when it reaches a high level where you feel she would say yes to meeting up then simply do it. If she rejects you’re attempt to set up the date then quickly act like it didn’t happen and return to adding more value. Do not get logical, argue or say anything negative after she rejects your attempt.  It simply means that you have not added enough value and established enough comfort with her yet to get her to meet up with you. Let’s learn how to add value through text now. 1. Flirting: callback humor from the interaction, memes, pictures, creating a nickname for her, authenticity. Always think “is this text adding value or taking it away?” 2. Callback humor: You’re referencing something in the interaction you had with the girl. Did she mention she’s from Los Angeles, does she like to travel, does she like movies, is her favorite food mexican. Also refer back to the seeds you planted in the interaction. Responses to something you seeded are always much higher than anything

else. It shows you listened and valued that conversation with her. Most guys don’t do this. Always take mental notes of those things. 3. Nicknames: these are good and is basically a form of callback humor. Only use this if it’s funny for both parties and it’s something that was brought up in the conversation. Coming out of left field with a nickname may be interpreted as an insult via text. Reduce the friction.. 4. Memes: memes are those funny pictures with quotes. I keep about 10 memes in my phone and use them when necessary. They’re kind of like secret weapons that illicit a very high emotional response from the women. Do not use them all the time however as this just shows as try hard. See the text guide for examples of several memes I use.

 

5. Pictures: I will sometimes send pictures of something I cooked, made or where i’m at. I’ll only use this to establish more rapport with the girl and show her what my world is like. It establishes trust between you and her. I’m not in the photos fyi. If she’s asking what are you doing and I’m cooking instead of saying i’m cooking i’ll send her a pic of a completed meal maybe a pic with completed meal and the other half with an empty plate. This shows her that you’re real. She doesn’t want to feel like you’re a pick up guy she wants to know that you’re a real guy. 6. Authenticity: If a girl is hesitant to see you then she needs more authenticity. If you come back with too much humor then she doesn’t view you as a grounded man. Humor is very important but too much of it and she’ll overdose and never get back to you... So the pictures come in handy here. And often i’ll say “add me on facebook” or for a lot of guys they have instagram... I’m not big on it so I use faceook but insta is more casual. Sometimes just her looking at your social profile will make her feel more comfortable with you. Yet do not transition to messaging on social media that would be a downgrade. Continue talking through text. If your social profile is lacking in pictures and you don’t have much going on then do not use this strategy it will only reduce your value. Work on building your social profile by snapping a few photos when you’re out with friends every now and then. A lot of guys have social lives they just don’t capture it.

Before you fire off a text, spend another 10 seconds reviewing your text and ask yourself, “is this the most value that I can give? How can I make this even better?” Spend maybe 30 seconds being creative yet no more than 2 minutes. You don’t need to bang your head against the wall coming up with the worlds greatest text but just be more conscious of what you’re sending out. Overtime you’ll naturally develop the skill and have the right thing to so say at all times. Remember there isn’t just 1 way to get great responses and to setup a date, there’s millions so relax and be yourself. I promise if you do that while following the steps above you will be a rockstar. Tip: Send your value giving texts Tuesday - Saturday and on Sunday or Monday evening is when I start working towards logistics and setting up a date for that same week. I rarely try to setup a date on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday for next week. I find it easier when you setup the date just a few days out from when you set it up. Value giving texts on Tuesday - Saturday between 12pm-12am Logistics and setting up the date Sunday and Monday between 4pm-10pm

You don’t need to follow this to the dot but use this as a guideline. These dates and times have yielded me very high abnormal results. I can almost get any girl to come out, yet this can be crutch because I sometimes don’t push myself as hard in the initial interaction because I know I can see her later.

 

Handling Logistics & Setting Up The Date You want to setup a time and date that you guys are going to meet. The easiest thing for me has always been happy hour, yogurt or coffee in that order or a social event like bbq/pool party with friends yet your first date should always be 1 on 1.

So whenfigured you feel theand flirting is a going logistics out setup date.well and you’ve amped her up then let’s get the Asking her out:

“Hey we should grab yogurt this week” “Let’s grab yogurt this week” “Let’s do happy hour this week” “Let’s hangout this week” “Let’s do coffee this week” Basic format:

“Let’s do (happy hour, coffee, yogurt or some activity that is $20 or less) this week.” Notice how i’m not asking to hangout with her i’m kind of telling her this is what we should do. This gives her the choice of saying either yes or no and when her emotions are amped up from a good text message exchange she’s likely going to say Yes. If she responds with something negative then I switch back to adding more value. And as soon as she responds with a yes or some positive statement then: I go right into logistics and give her two options that work for you and that’s it. You have to make this as painless as possible and reduce any friction of trying to coordinate a date and time. Logistics

“Cool, I can do Tuesday or Wednesday evening, which one works for you?” That statement has yielded me more dates than anything. What’s interesting is i’ve never had a girl tell me I can’t do any of those give me more options. She’ll respond with some positive statement which means keep going or a on hold statement. For example, a girl may say I get my work schedule on Monday or Tuesday

 

so i’ll get back to you. If that’s the case or something similar then simply revert back to value giving texts until she responds. Confirmation: You’ll receive something like

“Tuesday evening works!” “Wednesday works :)” Or something positive, so move forward and close it down. When you’re setting up the date and doing logistics respond to every text quickly or within a few minutes. You have her full attention right now so close in and lock a date. Locking it Down: Confirm a time and location/venue”

“Cool, let’s do 7pm at PB Coffee House” “Cool, let’s do (one time that works for you) at (happy hour joint, yogurt or coffee shop).” The Rebuttal

She may respond with: “I can do 8:30pm, does that still work” Bullseye

Agree to anytime as long as it really works for you. Don’t be challenging guru guy here  just lock something down as q quickly uickly as possible. Respond with: “Cool, see you there.” “Works for me, stay on your best behavior until then” Congrats at getting this far, yet you’re not done yet. Keep reading to ensure you don’t get a flake! ---

 

Ensuring the Date Actually Happens and Eliminating Flakes Now the time between the date is critical so continue sending value add texts. Do not  just assume assume that yo you’re u’re goin going g to show up at the venue at that time w without ithout say saying ing anything. That’s asking for a flake! The Day of the Date: The Two things that ensure she doesn’t flake!

1. Send her 1-3 value texts between 12pm-4pm. This does 3 things: 1. Increases comfort 2. Builds up to the date 3. Constant communication keeps her mind from flaking 2. Two - three hours before the date: tell her you’re getting ready, on your way or you’re running late. “About to hit the gym then hopping in the shower, see you in a bit” “Just got out of the longest meeting, i’ll be running 15 minutes late, see you soon” “Had a crazy workday going to change see you soon” This above texts are reciprocity texts. You are doing something and getting ready for the date which implies that you should too. It shows that you’re on your way, you’re in transit, you’re investing time into this so this makes her feel like she should follow. You’re just leading the way because a first date is every nerve wracking especially for a girl with someone she just met and most likely her friends don’t know either. What you’re doing is removing any friction that can happen on the day of the date with the above. It’s a simple process yet very effective and reduces flakes. I haven’t been flaked on in over 3 years! I’ve been using this same process with slight variations for almost all the girls I date and it just works. Make it uniquely your own and bam you’re going to have unstoppable dating power.

 

Examples of Live Text Sequences 1

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Observations: Notice the opening line with callback humor from a joke and seeding a potential date. I also made a mistake where I forgot to put my name so I had to make a second text. Notice more callback humor with the aikido chop. I tried to dance with her a little to fast in the interaction and she blocked it with some martial arts move and I asked her what is this and she said she trained aikido when she was younger. She references callback humor to me I mentioned I trained jiu jitsu. Notice how this is just fun and if we didn’t have a solid interaction together then this call back humor wouldn’t exist. And I combine our skills together. She responds well and I eventually get the date from her.

 

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Observations: Seeded for future date right from the get go. It was a Sunday so talking about sports was appropriate. Notice how she asks where I live again? She’s interested so I seize the moment and ask her out. She says she doesn’t know her schedule for the week yet, notice how I just said, “ok cool” and continued adding value. I sent her a picture of what I cook which is authentic. Drawing her into my world and showing her i’m a normal guy and notice how she responds well to that and “asks me to cook for her sometime”. I don’t say “Ok, let’s do it!” or try to get her to come over because I already have a date pending right now. I’m assuming she likes me so I challenge her and tell her she has to play her cards right. She accepts the challenge. I don’t ask her sooo how about that date did you ever get the schedule? I just keep adding value and she responds with “I’m free tomorrow”. Notice how I add value on the day of the date and send her pictures of me juicing. Again, adding familiarity and comfort then I tell her i’m going to the gym and showering...Boom date done.

 

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1. New text few days later

Observations: Notice seeding a future date right off the bat. We had a really goo interaction so i’m going straight for the close. I normally don’t do group type of dates on the first date it’s typically better to do 1 on 1, but you have to mix it up it’s how you learn. I sell her on the bbq even by building it up with a lot of social value. She came out and we had a lot of fun. A few days later she basically asked me out as you can see above.

 

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Observations: Adding value with football. Sharing a little bit about myself and showing her i’m a normal guy by telling her a dog peed in my bed. I like to cook so I show her a dish I made. Notice how I forgot to add value the day of the text. Must of been busy and she responded “are we still on?” Just because you solidify something it doesn’t mean you it’s fully on. Luckily we’ve had such strong interaction that she wanted to confirm and double check. All went well.

 

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1. I ask her out again...

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Observations: What’s interesting about Sahar (beautiful Persian name) is we met about 6 months ago on the beach and nothing really happened. I bumped into her at a lounge and already had her number so that’s why it starts off the way it does here. I had to be edgy with her because we already talked before and it didn’t work out so sometimes you need to take some risk. When you come from the abundance mindset it really allows you to not care if this works or doesn’t. But remember the bolder the move the more polarity between the two of you. I said, “Are you just another bland girl?” which really spiked her emotions. I take her out on a hike and notice how I continue to add value by talking about war paint. It’s fun and lighthearted. The date went really well and next week I invited her to my place for a movie and desert. All went well. --So there you have it. A simple straight to the point guide to texting to get you more dates than you’ve ever had before. Happy texting! Andrew