The Power of Talk

 The Power Power of Talk: Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why By Deborah Tannen

Linguistic Style 

A erson!s characteristic seaking attern" A set of culturally learned signals by which we not only co##unicate what we #ean but also interret others! #eaning and e$aluate one another as eole

Linguistic Style 

%eatures include   

Directness or indirectness Pacing & ausing Word choice

'se of ele#ents like (okes) *gures of seech) stories) +uestions & aologies  Turn taking

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Linguistic Style 

,$ery utterance functions on two le$els:  

Language co##unicates ideas Language negotiates relationshis

 The -icker 

Girls tend to learn con$ersational rituals that focus on the rapport di#ension of relationshis whereas boys tend to learn rituals that focus on the status  di#ension di#ension

Linguistic Patterns    

.ne ') .ne Down Getting /redit /on*dence & Boasting Asking 0uestions

Linguistic Patterns 

.ne ') .ne Down 

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1en tend to be sensiti$e to the ower and attain one u Wo#en tend to be sensiti$e to raort and will take one down

Getting /redit 

1en say 23! where wo#en say 2we!

Linguistic Patterns 

/on*dence & Boasting  

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Wo#en downlay certainty 1en #ini#i4e doubts

Asking 0uestions 

/an ut you in a one down osition) boys are #ore aware of this

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 The nor#s of beha$ior in the 'S business world are based on the style of interaction that is #ore co##on a#ong #en5at least A#erican #en"

/on$ersational 6ituals 

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/on$ersation is ritual in the sense that we seak in ways our culture has con$entionali4ed and e7ect certain tyes of resonses" Aologies %eedback /o#li#ents 6itual .osition

/on$ersational 6ituals 

Aologies Wo#en say 3!# sorry #ore often than #en Puts in one8down) e$en though other wo#en know they aren!t really sorry %eedback Di9ering Styles /o#li#ents Wo#en ay #ore than #en) uts at a disad$antage in the work lace  

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/on$ersational 6ituals 

6itual .osition An e7loration through $erbal oosition  They ut their ideas in the #ost certain and absolute for# they can) and wait to see if they are challenged Being forced to defend an idea gi$es the oortunity to test it 

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egotiating Authority 

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Actual authority has to be negotiated day to day 1anaging ' and Down Boys are rewarded for talking u their acco#lish#ents) girls aren!t 3ndirectness  The tendency to say what we #ean without selling it out 1en are often #ore direct 

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What to do;   

Beco#e aware 1ake sure e$eryone is heard Be #ore