The Perfect Groom

The Perfect Groom AN INDIREADS NOVELLA

Sumeetha Manikandan

Version 1.0 Copyright © Sumeetha Manikandan 2013 Published in 2013 by Indireads Incorporated Toronto - Ontario All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the publisher. The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this book. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. ISBN: 978-1-927826-14-0 Cover Illustration by Shehna Khan e-Book Formatting: Skan4 Labs

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DEDICATION

I would like to dedicate this book to Thangam. I would have never completed this novelette without her constant encouragement.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My sister Swapna, whose razor sharp critique was invaluable. Naheed Hassan for legitimizing  my  claims  to  be  a  ‘writer’  by  publishing  my  book. And last but not least, everyone who babysat my cute little daughter, so that I could finish what I started a year ago.

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ABOUT INDIREADS

Indireads aims to revolutionize the popular fiction genre in South Asia. As a channel for South Asian writers to engage readers at home and abroad, we showcase vibrant narratives that describe the lives, constraints, hopes and aspirations of modern South Asian men and women. The books available on Indireads are exclusive to Indireads. Indireads’  books  are  written and customized for delivery in electronic format, and are only published online.

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CONTENTS

ONE 1 TWO 3 THREE 7 FOUR 10 FIVE 14 SIX 19 SEVEN 23 EIGHT 31 NINE 42 TEN 51 ELEVEN 57 TWELVE 64 THIRTEEN 72 FOURTEEN 77 FIFTEEN 82 SIXTEEN 88 SEVENTEEN 99 EIGHTEEN 102 NINETEEN 107 TWENTY 118 TWENTY-ONE 121 Glossary of Terms 127

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ONE

The apartment was a beehive of activity. Ashok and I had been cleaning, cleansing, throwing and hiding stuff since morning. My mother-in-law was arriving tomorrow from India to stay with us for about three months. Ashok had been in a bad mood ever since he heard the news, and was increasingly edgy and angry as her arrival neared. He had taken a day off from work today and had been cleaning his bedroom. Huge boxes of books, magazines, CDs and t-shirts made way for books, saris and kurtis, along with my cookery books. “Where  do  we  hide  this  stuff?”  I  asked. It was a cardboard box full of his things. “On my head! GIVE!”  shouted  Ashok. I gave him the cardboard box and went to the kitchen where I had cleared some space for the photos of God and Goddesses that my motherin-law had sent with some of her relatives. “LISTEN!  We  need  to  put  our  wedding  photo  somewhere,”  he  said. Oh! Yes! We need to show your mother what a lovely couple we are, don’t  we? “Okay.” “Pick  out  a  photo  from  the  marriage  album  and  put  it  in  this  frame. I will hang  it  up  somewhere.” “Okay.” Given the chaotic condition of the apartment, it took almost an hour to search for the album. As I leafed through the photos, a wave of nostalgia

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The Perfect Groom

washed over me as I looked at  my  mom  and  sister’s  photograph.  My mom, looking so happy, proud and relieved that her daughter had married into a ‘good’  family. “Are  you  done?”  asked  Ashok. I skimmed through the album and in the end took out the reception photo. I was wearing a wine-colored, silk sari and he a black blazer. He had a stern look on his face, while I was radiant, smiling away happily. I took out the photo and gave it to him. He pocketed it and left the room. I went back to what was to be 'our' room and sat down in front of his old laptop, that was mine now. The Internet was my only refuge. While Ashok was in the office, I spent hours browsing through the Internet checking out recipes and trying them out in my small kitchen. Though Ashok was largely unappreciative of my efforts, Sunil would praise my cooking. Yet I never took anything that he said at face value. I knew that Sunil felt guilty about my predicament and tried to be nice to me. Ashok  peeped  inside  the  room  and  said,  “I  am  going  out  now.  I’ll  be  back   late,  will  be  eating  out,  so  don’t  wait  up.” “Okay.” I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. I checked out my favorite website and noted down the ingredients for paneer pakoras. I was sure my mother-in-law would not allow me to make paneer during her stay here. Ashok had been behaving as if he had been dealt poor hand, but it was I who would suffer for the next three months. Ashok could escape to his office for a good part of the day and night, but I would have to be here at home listening to her, answering her questions and lying. I went back to the album, leafing mindlessly through the photos of every ritual that bound me to Ashok, from the second engagement to the last ceremony of putting the metti on my toes. After thumbing through the entire album, I settled down to a fitful sleep.

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TWO

I was jarred awake when my mobile phone rang. Disoriented, I checked the time. It was around twelve am. It was Divya, my sister calling from India. “Nithya!  Hi,  How  are  you?  What  time  is  it  now?  Did  I  wake  you  up?” She always asked the same question. I shook myself awake and sat up. “Divya!  It’s  okay. I am awake anyway. Ashok is not back home yet. How are  you  and  how  is  mom?” “Amma is  fine.  She  is  asking  if  you  have  any  ‘good  news’?” ‘Good  news’ actually meant, ‘Are you pregnant yet?’ “Do  you  think  you  will  get  pregnant  this  month?” “By  any  chance,  do  you  think  you  will  not  get  your  periods?”  I  was  tired   of answering these questions. “Ayyo! You are calling me in the middle of the night for this? Tell Amma that we are not planning any  sort  of  ‘good  news’  as  of  now,”  I  replied. “Sorry!  It  is  just  that  your  mother-in-law keeps calling Chittappa all the time  and  keeps  telling  him  that  you  are  not  pregnant  yet.” I already knew that. My aunt and my mother-in-law had a conference call last week to share their angst at my inability to produce an offspring. My mother-in-law acted as though her investment in me as a brood mare was a total waste, and my aunt was full of suggestions about how to get pregnant.   She   even   started   suggesting   ‘positions’   best   suited   to   get   pregnant. “Listen!  I  have  some  good  news  then. I passed the interview in Wipro. I will  be  joining  next  month  once  I  get  the  offer  letter.” www.indireads.com

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The Perfect Groom

This was the best news that I had heard ever since I got married. I could feel myself getting teary, as happiness filled me. At least Divya was able to accomplish  what  I  couldn’t. “Divya!  This  is  great news.  Wonderful.  What  will  your  salary  be?” “Starting  will  be  twenty-five thousand rupees. I may be in the US project team.   Won’t   that   be   great?   Then   I   can   come   to   California   and   stay   with   you.” God forbid! NO! You are too innocent to see us in all our married glory. “Yeah  sure.  Let’s  see.  Did  you  get  the  money  that  I  sent?” “Nithya,  stop  sending  money.  Now  that  I  have  got  a  job  I  don’t  want  to   inconvenience Athimber,”  she  said. They never believed me when I told them that it was my own money that I was sending. “Okay.  But  if  you  need  money  for  anything  just  give  me  a  call,”  I  replied. “I  don’t  think  we  need  money  now.  Our  days  of  struggle  are  over  Nithya.   We   don’t   have   to   depend   on   Chithi or Chittappa for anything now. In another six months, I am going to look for a house and get out of here,”  she   said enthusiastically. We lived in a dilapidated one-room apartment on the by-streets of Mylapore Kutchery road that our Chittappa gave us for free. “I  hope  it happens. You  have  no  idea  how  happy  I  am,”  I  said  fervently. “I  know.  Anyway  take  care.  Go  back  to  sleep,”  she  said  happily. “Bye, take  care.” My mother was the eldest in the family and she had a younger stepsister. Her stepmother married her at a young age to an alcoholic whose only achievement in life was siring my sister and I. Her stepsister married a smart army colonel who retired as a Major. My father died in an accident, when I was in the tenth standard. He never held down a permanent job and in the end we found out that he had been borrowing money from others, and was bringing it at home as salary. With debts amounting to one lakh 4

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rupees, rent, household expenses and school fees, my mother was completely overwhelmed. My uncle ‘Chittappa’ had by then retired from the army and had built himself a swanky bungalow in Mylapore. With nowhere else to go, my mother went to her stepsister for help. Chittappa gave us his old house near Madhava   Perumal   Kovil   to   stay.   My   mother   became   her   sister’s   glorified   servant and helped with cooking, laundry, and housekeeping. So, this was indeed good news. If Divya could get my mother out of Chittappa’s   house   both   physically   and   mentally,   it   would   be   great   for   everybody. She had spent half of her life slaving for them and now it was high time that we looked after her. My situation was hopeless in any case but I had striven hard to hide it from all, especially my mother. Just as I was turning off the light to settle back to sleep, the phone rang again. It was my father-in-law. “Amma Nithya! How are you? How is Ashok? I just left your mother-inlaw  at  the  airport.  She  has  boarded  the  plane,”  he  said. That’s  just  great! “Ok.” “Is  Ashok  there?”  he  asked  hesitatingly. “No.”  I  did  not  want  to  talk  to  him  more  than  necessary.  In  fact in those three years, I had avoided speaking with him. Once I was naïve enough to think that he was unaware of our situation. But recently I realized he knew everything; and despite that he had arranged our marriage. He was silent for a while then asked,  “Nithya!  Is  everything  set  for  your   mother-in-law’s  visit  in  US?  Where  is  Ashok?  Will  he  be  picking  her  up  at   the  airport?” “He  has  gone  out  with  Sunil,”  I  said. “Oh!  Will  he  pick  her  up  or  not?”  he  asked  hurriedly. “He  told  me  that  he  would…”  I  said  and hesitated.

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“I   hope   he   goes   alone   to   the   airport.   I   just   want   her   to   be   comfortable   there.  I  hope  you  understand,”  he  said  in  a  worried  voice. “Really?   I   thought   you   wanted   to   know   something   else.   You   know everything  right?”  I  asked  him. He immediately got  defensive,  “I  don’t  know  what  you  are  talking  about.   Don’t   try   to   act   smart   with   me.   You   were   almost   a   servant   in   Narasimhachari’s  house.  Your  mother  didn’t  even  have  one  gram  of  gold  to   give  you.  You  were  living  on  your  uncle  and  aunt’s  mercy.  Your  father  didn’t   even leave money to educate you or your sister. You have lived on other people’s  charity  all  your  life.  I  got  you  married  to  my  son,  gave you jewelry, paid for your ticket to USA. Would any father-in-law do this? And you know what, I bore the entire marriage expenses too and you have the audacity to ask  me  questions?  Just  who  do  you  think  you  are?” I tried to interrupt, but something was wrong with my voice. He  continued,  “Just  keep  one  thing  in  mind.  While  Saroja  is in the States I want you to make sure that everything is normal. She is a heart patient so please  don’t  argue  with  her  or  tell  her  anything.  We  will  speak  more  about   this   when   you   come   down   here.   Until   then   I   don’t   want   any   more   discussion  about  this.  Do  you  understand?” He  didn’t  expect a reply and put the phone down.

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THREE

Ashok   didn’t   come   back   home   in   the   night   nor   did   I   expect   him   to.   He   would probably go pick up my mother-in-law straight from wherever he was.  I  couldn’t  sleep  after  the  upsetting  call  with  my  father-in-law. I quickly took a bath and got dressed in a sari. While I was making breakfast, Ashok called me. “Hello.” “Yes?” “Amma’s  flight  is  delayed  by  3  hours.  I  am  at  the  fucking  airport.  If  my   father Desikacharya, the bastard, calls, tell   him,”   he   said   in   a   drunken   drawl. “Ok,”  I  replied. God! He is drunk. I just hope he sobers up before his mother arrives or else there will be another conference call from the inquisition squad in India. I quickly prepared lunch and thought I would go and meet my friend Diana. Diana owned a restaurant right around the block. We became friends three years ago. I had been in the neighborhood park, brooding over my hopeless  situation  and  crying.  I  didn’t  notice  anyone  and  no  one  bothered   me.  I  didn’t  know how long I sat there. Suddenly I felt a hand comforting me. It was Diana. She said that she had been watching me for a long time. “There,  there, dear!  Don’t  cry.”

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I poured my heart out to her. Sometimes it is easier to talk to strangers. Things that I had kept hidden from my mother and sister tumbled out of my mouth. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I was glad that I had Diana to fall back on, in this strange country. I made paneer pakoras for her to taste. She loved Indian snacks, especially samosas, and was forever asking me to give her recipes to try. I wrapped the pakoras in aluminum foil and went to the restaurant. Diana is a 40-year-old woman with gray eyes, blonde hair and a lovely dimple. She was writing something in her notebook when I entered. She looked up and smiled at me. I sat beside her and waited until she finished and gave her the paneer pakoras to taste. “Hmmm.  Very  nice, Nithya. I am thinking of adding a couple of Indian snacks to the menu. There has been a noticeable increase in Indian customers here,”  she said, eating the pakoras with relish. “How   about   it Nithya? You can make this stuff from home and send it around to the restaurant. I’ll pay cash. What do you  say?”  she  asked. Diana’s  suggestion  seemed  God-sent but I also wanted it to be my ticket out of the house. “My   mother-in-law is coming from India today. So most likely she will take   over   the   kitchen.   I   can   come   here   and   make   the   snacks,   if   you   don’t   mind. How  about  that?”  I  asked. She seemed pleased to hear that. “Sounds  better.  We  can  serve them hot! Great. So how long is your mother-in-law  here?” “For  about  three months I think. She might leave earlier if my sister-inlaw’s  marriage  gets  fixed,”  I  said. “I   still   can’t   understand   why   you   won’t   leave   him?   Divorces   are   also   common  in  India.  My  Indian  friend  Malathi  is  divorced  and  happy.” I bit my lip while I pondered her question. She never really understood why a younger sister would have trouble getting married if the older sister got divorced.

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“Ashok  and  I  have  an  agreement.  I  can’t  back  off  now,”  I  said  morosely. She scowled and pursed her lips as she considered my situation. “What  agreement?  He’s  just  taking  advantage  of  you.  Can’t  you  see  that?   And have  you  thought  of  what  you  want  to  do,  once  you  go  back  to  India?”   she asked. I have thought about nothing else in all my time here. I  looked  directly  at  her  and  said,  “I  want  to  go  back  to  India  and  start  a   restaurant like yours. I have studied hotel management.” She seemed pleased with my decision. “That’s   good.   At   least   you   have   a   definite   plan.   So   when   is   your   sister   getting  married?  Does  she  like  anyone?”  she  asked. Despite having many Indian friends, Diana never really understood the concept of arranged marriages. We had several interesting conversations and arguments about how people get married in India after one or two meetings. “My   sister   just   completed   her   engineering.   Next   month   she   will   be   joining Wipro. She will need some time to get settled in  her  job,”  I  said. “That   could be another three to four years.   What   about   Ashok’s   sister?   How  old  is  she?”  she  asked  pondering  deeply  over  my  situation. “She  is  twenty-two years old. They are actively looking for a match. My mother-in-law wants Ashok to find someone for her from the US. But he is not  very  keen,”  I  said. “I’m not surprised. So you are going to lead this sham life for the next four years. Do you think it is worth  it?”  she  asked  me  directly. I was afraid to answer that. She was right. It was not worth it. But I just needed to pretend that everything was fine, until Divya got married.  That’s   all.

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FOUR

The first time I heard anything about my marriage was when I was fourteen years old. My uncle Narasimhachari and aunt Kanakavali loved to matchmake. They rarely thought about the wishes of the boy and girl. Ever since Chittappa retired from the army, he had cultivated a couple of hobbies. One was to match-make along with his gossipy wife (my aunt), and the other was to show people how deeply religious and charitable he was. The first proposal  that  they  had  in  mind  for  me  was  to  marry  his  brother’s  son  Vasu. Vasu was an orphan. His parents died in an accident and my uncle became his guardian since there was nobody else to take him in. He was brought  to  live  in  my  uncle’s  house  with  his  cousin.  My  uncle  financed  his   studies until twelfth standard and then suggested that he go to patashala to study for priesthood and get married to me. We both were made for each other, with Vasu becoming a priest and me a cook; we would be the ideal low class couple according to my uncle. Vasu was not interested. He did not want to become a priest. I was not sure how he felt about marrying me. He left the house after his twelfth standard results were out and never came back. My uncle was very angry. It was the first time one of his plans had gone awry and somebody actually had the courage to stand up to him. He had a big face-off with Sridhar, who had come to persuade him to let Vasu work with  him.  Sridhar  even  offered  to  take  up  the  cost  of  Vasu’s  education.  But   it was of no use. After Vasu left the house, I found out that uncle had told all his relatives that he had stolen some money from home, hence his hasty departure.

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The last thing that I heard about Vasu was that he was working with Sridhar and had moved to Mumbai and was very successful. Sridhar was a businessman dealing with computers and Vasu used to work with him parttime, assembling computers during his summer holidays. Thankfully, after he left, there was no more talk of my marriage. When I completed my twelfth standard, my uncle wanted me to start working. I was heartbroken but  my  mother  met  an  old  friend  of  my  father’s, and asked him for help. He agreed to finance my education and Divya’s   as   well.   This, again, had not gone down well with my uncle. It  was  the  final  year  of  my  college  and  I  had  come  to  my  uncle’s  house to help my mother make the yearly portion of appalam and vadam for my uncle and aunt. While we were preparing the sheets for the vadam, my uncle came to the terrace and told me his plans for my future. “Nithya!  Yesterday  I  was  speaking  to  Chinnu mama. He is looking for an apprentice for his cooking team. You will learn a lot from him. He is a top cook nowadays and he is always in demand for marriages and other functions. He said you could help him by cutting vegetables, cleaning utensils and clearing tables. He will pay you three thousand rupees for a marriage and a thousand rupees for other functions. You can start working for him from next month. His only condition is that you will have to wear a madisar,”  he  said  with  a  flourish. Then he had turned towards his wife who was adjusting the sheets and said, “Kanaka!  Give  your old cotton madisars to Nithya. She can wear them when she goes to work with Chinnu.” I had looked at my mother who was silently watching my uncle. She could not and would not say anything. “Chittappa! Three of my friends have started a catering business from their home. I want to join them. They already have eight clients, all software companies to whom they are supplying food. They want me to join them. My monthly salary will be eight thousand rupees.” “Nonsense  Nithya!  I  know  you.  Don’t  aim  too  high.  It  won’t  work.  I  think   you are lucky to get this job, that too because of my recommendation. This

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job is perfect  for  you.  Don’t  dream  too  big.  Just  because  you  studied  hotel   management it  doesn’t  mean  that  you  will  open  a  hotel,”  he  said, dismissing my decision. “Chittappa,  please.  I  want  to….” My mother intervened and said “Nithya!  Help  me  with  this.” We got busy with the vadam and appalam and my uncle went down. I wanted to protest this decision, but my aunt was there. She took up the discussion from where my uncle had left. “Amruthi!   Do   you   know   how   much   money   Chinnu makes with marriages? Almost two lakhs for each marriage. If Nithya works with him, he will also find a good match for her. We thought Vasu would be perfect for  her  but  he  turned  out  to  be  a  wastrel.” My mother and I were stoically silent until she went down. And then I burst out. “Amma! I will not work with Chinnu mama. I want to take up this catering job. If it means that we will be thrown out of that house then so be it.  I  can  support  us  with  my  salary,”  I  said  vehemently. “Nithya!  Stop  it.  In  the  first  place  you  shouldn’t  have  told  him  that  you   want to take up another job. You should have told him that it is an internship or something for a year after which you will get your graduation certificate.” “Oh!   Why   didn’t   I   think   about   this?” My mother knew her survival techniques well. “You  go  ahead  with  your catering job. I will tell your aunt that you will not get the certificate  unless  you  work  with  these  people,”  she  said  calmly. “Thank  God!”  I had said relieved. We finished laying out the vadams and then went down. My uncle was on the verandah talking to a friend of his. They looked up when I came out. “Chittappa! I am leaving  now.  I  have  to  go  to  college  today.” He called me, and holding my hand, introduced me to his friend. 12

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“Desika!   This   is   my   wife’s   sister’s   daughter   Nithya.   Her   father   died leaving them with a big debt. I gave them the small house that we have near the temple  tank  and  paid  for  their  education.” My  uncle’s  friend  surveyed  me  from  top   to  bottom.  I  greeted  his  friend   and  escaped  as  fast  as  I  could.  Desikachari  was  Ashok’s  father.  I  guess  after   I left, he asked for my hand. He had been on the look-out for a demure, non-independent beautiful girl for his son and I fit the bill perfectly.

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FIVE

My aunt and uncle came over two  days  after  I  met  Ashok’s  father. “Amruthi!  I  have  come  with  some  very  good  news.  You will probably die of shock, once you hear it.” My  uncle’s  opening  statement  caught our attention. “I’ve got a very good alliance  for  Nithya.  You’re not going to believe her luck. She’s got many lucky stars in her horoscope to attract such a proposal.” “I  don’t  understand.  Whose  proposal?” I was sure that it was going to be a proposal from a temple vadiyar, cook or a driver. But nothing in the world prepared me for this. “My  friend  Desikachari  wants  the  hand  of  Nithya  for  his  son  Ashok.  Do   you know where Ashok lives? In the USA. You have got a US proposal for your  daughter!”  he announced happily. Our jaws dropped. “Ashok  lives  in  California  and  is  a  software engineer. He has been staying there for about three years. He is their only son. They have a daughter too, who is working. Desika lives in Adayar in an independent house; they have fifteen acres of land in their village in Maduramangalam. They  don’t  want   anything. I have explained everything about your circumstances. They want a simple marriage. We can have the marriage ceremony in our house and then Nithya  will  fly  off  to  the  US.” “What   are   you   staring   at?   Aren’t   you   happy?”   he   asked   waiting   for   our   reaction.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

My mother was the first one to recover. “Athimber! Is   this   the   first   marriage   of   this   boy   or   the   second?”   she   asked voicing the doubt that I held in my heart too. “What  are  you  asking?  Of  course  it  is  the  first,”  he  blustered  angrily. “Then  why  would  they…?” He interrupted her. “Listen!  Desika  wants  a  simple traditional girl for his son. Someone who can take care of his son. He is afraid that Ashok might marry  somebody  unsuitable  from  the  US.” “But  Athimber! Why do they want my daughter? We have nothing to give her.   You   know   that   we   don’t   have   a single gram of gold,”   exclaimed   my   mother. “Kanaka!  Give  back  Amruthi’s jewels to her. You can use those jewels for her marriage. I will take care of the rest  of  the  expenses,” said Chittappa, ready as always with his project plan. “But   Athimber! She wants to work for some time. We have not talked about  marriage  at  all…”  said  my  mother  feebly. “Listen  Amruthi!  Do  not  refuse  a  good  proposal  when  it  is  coming  on  its   own,”  he coaxed. I  intervened  and  said,  “Chittappa!  I  don’t  want  to  marry  now.  I  want to work. I am just twenty-one years  old.  And  I  don’t  even…” “Nithya!  I  am  talking   to  your  mother.  Listen, don’t  say  anything   now.  I   am   sending   Nithya’s   photo   to   Desika’s   son. Desika is also getting the horoscope matched. If everything proceeds smoothly then they will come to see  Nithya,”  he  said  firmly. I noticed that my aunt was not very happy with this proposal. “Amruthi!  I  wish  my  daughter  had  got  this  proposal.  But  she  didn’t.  And   my husband is trying hard to get your daughter married. Instead of appreciating him, you   and   your   daughter   are   questioning   him,”   she   said, reminding us of our duty to praise him at every turn.

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The Perfect Groom

“Kanaka!  That  is  not  what  I  am  saying.  Marriage  is  a  big  decision  and  I   want  my  daughter  to  marry  the  right  man.  I  don’t  want  her  to  suffer like I did…”  said  my  mother  with  a  sob.  My  aunt  made  a  face  and  turned  away. My   uncle   intervened   again   and   said,   “Let   us   not   talk   negatively.   I   am   sure  the  horoscope  will  match.  Let  us  wait  until  they  call.” We were at a loss to say anything after they left. Too many things were happening and we were not able to decide whether it was good or bad. *** After  an  uneasy  night,  my  mother  went  to  my  uncle’s  house  to attend to her daily duties, and I waited at home for news. Around 10 am, she came hurrying to fetch me to the house. Divya had already gone to college and I was alone at home. Our horoscopes had matched   perfectly   and   Ashok’s   parents were coming to meet me officially. My uncle was in an agitated state, shouting out orders and hastening my mother to do the necessary chores. My cousin Jayashree came and took me inside. She was a good person. She was so unlike my uncle and aunt that I used to wonder whether she was adopted. She draped her silk sari on me and made me wear my   mother’s   jewelry. They came.  Ashok’s  mother  was  the  typical  mami that you would meet in Mylapore. Traditionally clad in a madisar, she was very authoritative and demanding. She fired question after question at my mother about our father, our village and our properties, trying to determine our social standing. Ashok’s  father  put  a  stop  to  all  that  and  said  finally  that  they  liked  me.  I   could see that my mother-in-law did not approve but she was sidelined. “I  want  Nithya  to  speak  to  Ashok  now.  He  won’t  be  asleep   yet,”  he  took   out his mobile phone and dialed.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

“Ashok? I told you about Nithya right? We are at her house now. Your mother  and  I  like  her  a  lot,”  said  Ashok’s  father  smiling  at  me. I saw my mother-in-law  making  a  face  at  this  comment.  “We  want  you  to   speak  to  her  now,”  he  said and gave the phone to me. I took the phone and moved to the balcony. “Hello!”  I  said  with  a  shiver  in  my  voice. “Hi   Nithya!   I   am   Ashok!”   said   a   pleasant   voice   with   a   long   American   drawl. “Hi,”  I  said. “So  my  parents  met  you  today.  Your  uncle  sent  me  your  photograph. Did you  see  my  photo?”  he  asked. “No.  Not  yet,”  I  said  slowly. “Oh!  Ask  my  father  to  show  it  to  you.  I  live  in  California.  I  am  a  software engineer. I work for LTC Systems. I have been here for about three years. Umm… there are lots of Indians here; temples, Indian societies and cultural activities are very common. I am sure you will enjoy it all when you come here. As for myself, I want a simple girl who is traditional and conservative. My father tells me that you are a hotel management graduate,” he said. It was difficult to understand much of what he said because of the accent. “Yes.  I  have  finished  my  graduation  in  hotel management.” “Great!   Look   Nithya.  I   am  a   simple   guy   and  I   want   a   simple   girl   as   my   life partner. I like the sound of you. See my photo and if you like me, we can get married. I am coming to India next week. Okay?” “Okay. I will give the phone back to  your  father.” I   came   back   into   the   room   and   gave   the   phone   to   Ashok’s   father.   My   hands were shaking. “You  spoke  to  him.  Is  he  still  there?”  he  asked.

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The Perfect Groom

Ashok’s  father  took  the  phone  from  me  and  spoke  to  him  for  some  time.   My uncle and my mother hurried over to me and asked a hundred questions about my conversation with Ashok. While I was stammering answers,  Ashok’s  father  came  and  showed  me  Ashok’s  photo. He was quite fair, broad forehead, strong nose, curly hair and very athletic  looking.  He  looked  quite  handsome.  I  couldn’t  believe  that  such  a   nice man would want to get married to me. I looked at his photo and could hear his soft voice in my head. Could this be true? Will he truly change my life for better? My aunt snatched the photo from my hand and scowled. Now when I think back, my aunt expected Ashok to be as ugly as sin since the proposal was for me. But she was shocked when she saw that he was handsome. My mother-in-law was still unhappy about me being the prospective bride. Now that she knew we were the poorer relations of Narasimhachari, my uncle, she felt that she could get a much better proposal for her son. In fact, she openly favored my cousin Jayashree. I could hear snippets of their conversation where my aunt was talking about Jayashree and my motherin-law was telling her that she was searching for someone like that as a daughter-in-law. But my father-in-law hurriedly put an end to all those conversations. They both gave me dirty looks. But in all fairness, I had never wanted this alliance. I never expected to get married so soon, or ever.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

SIX

The next two weeks were a blur. I was engaged to Ashok the very next day. My mother, finally overcoming all her fears, convinced me that this alliance was God-sent. She even cited many instances where rich grooms sought poor girls like me for their beauty and other redeeming qualities. Since Ashok was not there, I became engaged to his family instead. It was a very small function with just three aunts, four uncles, five cousins and  their  families.  I  also  met  Ashok’s  sister  Anu, who was about the same age as my sister. There were not many people from our side except for a couple  of  aunts.  Many  of  my  father’s  relatives  refused  to  come  because  they   couldn’t   stand   Chittappa.   One   of   my   cousins   from   my   father’s   side   came   along with her husband. The marriage date was fixed for the following week. My mother-in-law presented me with a ten thousand rupee sari and a jewelry-set with necklace, bangles and earrings. I was overwhelmed. My mother hugged me and started crying. I   didn’t   speak   to   Ashok   after that first day. He was at a conference, somewhere in Europe, and then was traveling through Europe so he couldn’t   find   the   time   to   call   me.   My   father-in-law told me that he would come and see me when he came to India next week. I  didn’t  think  much  of it since we were busy shopping. My uncle outdid himself and took us out shopping to Nalli to get us all silk saris. I berated myself for thinking so many bad things about him. My mother, on the other hand, was ready to build a temple for him.

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The Perfect Groom

Four days before my marriage, Ashok arrived from US. He came to meet me   next   day   at   my   uncle’s   house.   It   was   a   very   short   meeting   with   his   mother in tow. I was made to sit next to him while he chatted with my uncle, and my future mother-in-law scrutinized me minutely. I stole glances at him and once or twice and I saw him looking at me and smiling. He   didn’t say much to me except a casual ‘hi’.   My   mother   was   very   excited  and  my  sister  disappointed  because  he  didn’t  speak  to  her. The day of the marriage dawned. My aunt half-heartedly did the chores set by my uncle. She recognized that it was a good PR opportunity to highlight   her   husband’s   benevolence towards me and my family; at the same time, however, she was also afraid that their other relatives might expect the same type of help for their daughters. Things proceeded very smoothly and soon I found myself seated next to Ashok on the dais. We went through the motions and chanted our mantras repeated by the priest. Then it was time for him to tie the thali.  My  father’s   cousin and his wife played the role of my mother and father during the marriage, and it was in his lap that I was seated when Ashok tied the thali. By mid-morning, everything was done. We  went  to  the  registrar’s  office   to get the marriage registered before returning to the hall to bid everyone farewell. My mother was very emotional but she was kept busy by congratulating relatives. My sister helped me to pack my bags. My mother hugged and blessed me, and I took a formal farewell from my uncle and aunt. We came out of the hall and got into the car and sat next to each other. The   romantic   ‘me’   thought   that   he   would   then   hold   my   hand   or   at   least   smile at me, but Ashok was busy checking his messages on his mobile. We reached his house and my mother-in-law and many other relatives took the arthi and invited me inside. It was a big house and I was immediately  taken  to  Ashok’s  room. My father-in-law and Ashok were busy discussing my passport and visa with an agent. My documents and application were already with him and now they added the marriage certificate to it and asked him to expedite it. 20

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Sumeetha Manikandan

My sister-in-law Anu came in to help me unpack. Not that there was much to unpack anyway. But I learnt a bit about Ashok in the process. “My   brother   is   a   very   neat   person.   He   wants everything to be arranged properly in the room - clothes, books and CDs. He keeps shouting at my mother  when  she  folds  his  clothes.  She  doesn’t  do  it  properly.  You  have  very   beautiful eyes, you should wear mascara and eye shadow when you go out with  him.” She chattered away as she helped me. I arranged my few pieces of clothing in an emptied cupboard drawer and then we went out to the kitchen. My mother-in-law was sitting with a couple of other mamis. “Nithya!   You   can   help   us   in   the   kitchen   from   tomorrow.   Not today. Go and check if your father-in-law  and  Ashok  want  some  coffee,”  she  said. I went to the hall and then to my in-laws bedroom. Ashok was standing near the window and my father-in-law was behind him. My father-in-law was talking to him in a low voice. I  came  inside  and  said,  “Mama! Amma wants to know if you want some coffee.” “Yes, get  us  two  coffees.” When I got the coffee, I saw my father-in-law standing alone by the window. Ashok had gone out. He took the coffee from my hand and said, “Ashok  had  to  go  to  the  passport  office.  He  will  be  back  by  this  evening.” Soon it was night; Anu and my mother-in-law were decorating the room, while I   was   nervous   and   trembling.   I   didn’t   eat   much   during dinner - I thought I would throw up. Ashok came very late and went inside the room. My mother-in-law gave me a silver tumbler full of milk and asked me to give it to him. I entered the room to find Ashok sitting with his laptop at the table. The room was decorated with flower bouquets and rose petals were strewn on the bed. I placed the milk next to him. He looked up and smiled at me.

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21

The Perfect Groom

“Nithya!  I  have  some  work  that  I  have  to  finish  now.  You  must  be  tired  so   you  sleep.  I  will  come  to  bed  later.” I was relieved but also a bit disappointed. I said okay and turned to go to bed. He  said,  “Listen,  I  want  to  know  you  better  before  we  begin  our  life  as  a   married couple. My parents were in a hurry, so I got married but it is necessary for me to know my partner before we have any kind of relationship. My parents are old-fashioned, traditional. So tomorrow morning they will ask you all sorts of questions. They will expect us to have slept  together…  so  don’t  tell  them  that  we  didn’t, okay?” It took me some time to understand what exactly he was saying but then I  said,  “I  understand.  I  will  not  tell  them.” That night I was too tired to even think about anything. I slept the minute  my  head  hit  the  pillow.  I  didn’t  know  when  Ashok  came  to  bed.  But   he was sleeping next to me when I woke up the next day. It was almost seven in the morning when I woke up and I hurried to the bathroom to get ready. My mother-in-law tried to pry as much information as possible from me. I tried to act shy and escaped somehow. My father-in-law had arranged for a trip to Tirupathi the following day. Ashok was busy packing and shopping. We had to get up early the next day so I went to bed early and Ashok worked again. I actually appreciated his thoughtfulness about wanting to know me better before sleeping with me. He was very polite and nice to me but a shade impatient with his parents. After the Tirupathi visit, Ashok stayed at home for one more day and then he left for the US. I had to wait two more months before I could start my married life with Ashok.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

SEVEN

These days I almost feel sorry for Ashok. Ever since my mother-in-law arrived, all that she has done is cook for him and he doesn’t  have  any  choice   but to eat. “Just  one  more  puri! Try this chutney. Nithya bring that tomato chutney for  him  to  taste.” Ashok made a face and waited patiently while I searched through the bottles of chutney and pickles that she brought with her from India. Dripping in oil, the chutney bottle was swaddled in two aavin plastic covers. I took out a spoon and put some chutney in his plate. “Today   I   am   making   usili, kadamba sambar, applam and lime rasam. All  your  favorites.  You  must  come  home  for  dinner  today.” I  knew  that  he  wouldn’t  come  home  any  time  sooner  than  eleven. He had been escaping to office earlier than usual every day and returning late at night. With his temper at an all-time high, it was difficult to be with him, let alone talk to him. My situation was far worse. This time around, her visit to the US was undertaken solely to check whether we were leading a normal married life or not. The second purpose was to give me more gyan about how to become pregnant   and   how   I   was   ruining   Ashok’s   life   by   not   becoming   pregnant   immediately. As to the first, there was no problem in pretending that we were a normal married couple. Ashok was rarely home in any case. The only awkwardness was when we had to sleep together in the same bed. Thankfully, the bed was very big and I slept in one corner and he on the

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The Perfect Groom

other. And thanks to Diana, I had four to five hours of respite from home during the day. While I was clearing the breakfast items, she started off on her pet project. “Last  month,  I  ran  into  that  girl  Deepa  whom  we  had  seen  for  Ashok.  She got married two months ago and she is pregnant already. God knows what sins I have committed to be saddled with a daughter-in-law like you. Next month when I go back to India you are coming with me and we are getting a check-up done. If there is a problem with you then I must find out. My friend’s   sambandi, is a gynecologist. She is also a very good doctor. We need  to  do  a  scan  and  find  out  whether  there  is  any  problem…” I resolutely refused to look towards her or even to react to her statements. But I could feel her eyes on my stomach. If she could, she might actually scan me with her eyes alone and find out what my problem was. I tried to talk to Ashok about the impending medical test that she might force me to have. I told him while we were in bed. “Ashok!  I  need  to  talk  to  you  about  something.” “What?” “Your   mother   is   pestering   me   to   get   a   medical check-up done. I have given   her   many   reasons   why   we   don’t   want   kids   right   now.   She   is   not   listening. Can you speak to her and tell her that for the next two years you don’t  want  kids?” “Hmm… I  don’t  know  man.” “I  have  been  listening  to  this  pregnancy talk for the past one month now. She wants me to go along with her to India next month and when we go she wants me to have a medical check-up with a gynecologist that she knows. If you  don’t  tell  her  that  you  don’t  want  kids  right  now, I will have to undergo a medical check-up.  Please  Ashok!  Speak  to  her.” “What   the   fuck, Nithya? It is just a medical check-up. What are you scared  of?  Why  are  you  pestering  me?  I  don’t  want  to  talk  to  her  about  this.   Just  leave  me  alone.” 24

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I bit my lip to fight back the tears but they just rolled down. I felt trapped in a situation where the walls were closing on me from all directions. “You  don’t  understand  Ashok.  Please  try  to  understand… I…” He  tore  at  his  hair  and  screamed,  “Oh  God!  I  am  going  to  kill that guy the minute I land in India next time. He sent her here deliberately to mess my life. Okay! I will talk to her.”  He turned away to sleep. He did speak to her the next morning, I think, because she looked sullen when I came back from the restaurant and kept muttering about my hold over her son. “God  knows  what  sins  I  have  committed.  All  I  want  is  a  grandson  to  hold   before I die. If you cannot give it then what is the point of this marriage? I always knew that people from Salem are very cunning. Now I know why they say that. You have him twisted around your little finger. Usha’s  son  got   a new wife because his first wife was not conceiving. You should thank your stars  that  we  are  not  doing  anything  of  that  sort…” I willed myself to ignore her, and listened instead to A.R. Rahman and checked   my   mail.   Divya   had   sent   a   mail   saying   that   her   friend   Ragini’s   friend Srinivas, was coming to the US for a conference. I had bought her a couple of t-shirts and a make-up kit and bengay lotion for my mother all of which had been sitting in my cupboard for months. Divya had forwarded Ragini’s  mail  with Srinivas’s  number.  Srinivas  was  going to call me once he reached California. I was not sure what my mother-in-law would say about my sending a package for my sister. Maybe I should call Srinivas to the restaurant and hand it over to him there. The next morning, I was distracted because my mother-in-law was trying to persuade Ashok to say gayathri mantra and change his poonal, as it was aavani aatam. “Yesterday  was  aavani aatam in India so according to astroved.com you can change your poonal,” she said, quoting her authority for auspicious dates.

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The Perfect Groom

Ashok seemed to be pushed in a corner. I had seen him wearing a poonal only once, and that was during our marriage. I   didn’t   see much point in changing it when he rarely wore it. Ashok   pretty   much   said   the   same   thing   to   his   mother,   “Amma!   I   don’t   wear poonal here at all. Then what is the point?” But she was ready with her Brahmaastra, her eyes swimming in tears, “Won’t  you  do  this  for  your  mother?  Do  you  have  to  argue   with  me  about   everything? I may not be alive to see you do another aavani aatam?” Cornered, Ashok went and had his bath while his mother waited for him in the bedroom. “Amma! I have to change. I will come, wait.” She immediately started applying the traditional namam on his forehead. It was funny the way he tried to bat her hand away but she was formidable when she wanted her way. I made aapam and idli, while she made Ashok recite Gayathri japam, wearing a makeshift dhoti. He scowled at her, as she went around taking pictures to put on Facebook. It was quite funny, but I dared not laugh as Ashok was close to bursting-point. My mother-in-law was naively unconcerned about this. “Bring  the aapam and  serve  it  to  him,”  she  ordered. I brought out the aapam and when I served two on his plate, she shouted,  “Put  three  more.  He  loves  to  eat  aapam.” I had never seen Ashok eat anything so oily in the three years we had been married; it probably was his favorite decades ago. When I started serving him three  more,  Ashok  shouted,  “NO  THANKS.” “Don’t  serve  it  to  him  if  he  doesn’t  want,”  said  my  mother-in-law as if it was my mistake. My mobile rang and thankful for the break, I went inside the room to answer it. It was an unknown number. Curious, I answered the phone. It was a stranger’s  voice,  “Hi!  I  am  Srinivas, Ragini’s  friend.  Is  this  Nithya?”

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“Hi! Yes,  I  am  Nithya.  Thanks  for  calling.  Are  you  in  Sunnyvale?” I was glad he had called; I would be able to send the package for Divya now. “Yes.  Ragini  said  that  you  had  a  package  for  me.  Can  I  come  by today and pick it up? My friend is going directly to Chennai today so he can take it. If it is not ready I can pick it up later. I am here for one more week.” “Thanks. The package is ready. It’s  just  some  t-shirts and make-up items for my sister. You can come and pick it up.” For some reason, my sister hated chocolates so there was no point sending them. My mother would not touch them as well, as she thought all food items from US would have egg by default. “Great!  Then  I  will  come  by  and  pick  it  up.  I  am  quite close by,”  he  said. “Fine  no  problem.  Please  come.” I went back to the kitchen to clean up and only then did I realize that I should have asked him to come to restaurant. I hurried back to the room to call him, but Ashok was changing and would not open the door. By then, it was too late. The doorbell rang. As my mother-in-law went to open the door, Ashok opened the bedroom door   and   asked   angrily,   “Can’t   I   have   even   one   minute   of   peace   in   my   room?  What  do  you  want?” He had changed into a t-shirt and shorts and was sitting on the bed with his   mother’s   camera,   no   doubt   trying   to   delete   his   photos   doing   gayathri japam. “Nithya!  Nithya!  Someone  is  here  for  you,”  shouted  my  mother-in-law. Ashok’s  head  shot  up.  In  my  three  years  in  the US, no one had ever come here for me. He knew that Diana was my only friend here and even she had never come home. “Who  is  it?”  he  asked  me  curiously. I was frantically searching through the cupboard to find the package that I had put together two months ago.

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The Perfect Groom

“It   is   my   sister   Divya’s   friend.   I   am   sending a package to her through him.”  I  finally  got  the  package  and  went  out. I could hear my mother-in-law interrogating him. God!  Why  didn’t  I  ask   him to come to the restaurant? There were two people sitting on the couch. One was fair complexioned, mustached and tall and the other was brown, clean-shaven with intense eyes. He seemed to be listening to my mother-in-law patiently. He also looked vaguely familiar. My mother-in-law was in full flow. “So  what  is  your  purvegam? Where do your parents live? Where does  your  father  work?” She was addressing all her questions to the dark complexioned man. I caught the other man suppressing a smile, enjoying   his   friend’s   interrogation. “I  am  originally from  Thanjavur.  My  parents  are  dead.  I  live  in  Mumbai.” I entered the room and stood near the couch. He looked towards me and that is when I found out why he looked familiar. He looked at me steadily and frowned as if he was trying to remember who I was. “This  is  Nithya,  my  daughter-in-law,” introduced my mother-in-law. He got up and lost his frown. I think he finally recognized me. “Hi  I  am  Srinivas.  You  are…” I knew him as Vasu. And for a moment, I was back in those sun-kissed days  that  I  spent  with  him  in  my  uncle’s  house. “Vasu!   I   am   Amruthi   mami’s daughter,   Nithya,”   I told him, reminding him of the person who had become his surrogate mother during those four years we spent together growing up. He looked surprised, shocked and also happy to meet me. He got up and came towards me. His friend looked on curiously. “Nithya! God!  I  never  thought  that  I  would  meet  you  here…”

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My mother-in-law, who had been following our conversation like a tennis match, interjected. “So  how  do  you  know  Nithya?”  she  asked  Vasu. Vasu  turned  towards  her  and  said,  “We  are  distantly  related.” How apt. But I wondered what she would say when she knew how distantly! “Nithya!  Go  get  some  coffee  for  the  guests.” “It’s  ok  mami.  We  are  in  a  hurry,”  said  Vasu  hurriedly. “Nonsense.  I  got  coffee  powder all the way from Chennai. You must have some,”  she insisted firmly. I turned and went to the kitchen. This was going from bad to worse. Fancy meeting Vasu like this! I  could  still  hear  her  voice.  She  was  on  to  Vasu’s  friend  now. “So  you  are  from Mumbai? Do you live in Matunga? Do you know Janaki mami there? Everybody in Mumbai knows her!”   my   mother-in-law launched a rapid-fire question round, to which he mumbled some answers. I took the coffee and went into the hall. Vasu and his friend were looking around. Vasu sipped his coffee silently and seemed to be in deep thought, while my mother-in-law was telling his friend about her trip to Dwarka. “So  are  you  going  to  Chennai?”  I  asked  Vasu. “Not immediately. But Raghavan is leaving tomorrow. So I thought I would   send   it   with   him.   Don’t   worry,   it   will   reach your   mother,”   he   said, looking into my eyes. “So, how are you related  to  her?”  asked  my  tenacious  mother-in-law. I was about to launch into a   story,   when   Vasu   said   calmly,   “I   am   Narasimhachari’s  brother’s  son.” Oh God, no! “Oh!  Narasimhachari’s  nephew.  I  have  heard  about  you.”

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29

The Perfect Groom

There were a hundred undertones in that one comment. I handed the package over to him. He was searching for something in his wallet. He took out his card and gave it to me. “Call   me   when   you   are   free,”   he   said.   I   guess   he   meant   “Call me when your dear mother-in-law is not around.” I took the card and nodded. My mother-in-law was more interested in the package. “What  is  there  in  the  package?  To  whom  are  you  sending  it?”  she  asked. “Just  some  t-shirts and make-up  items  for  Divya,”  I  said. “I   hope   they   were   not   too   expensive.   Anyway, it will be good treat for Divya.   She  probably   can’t   afford   to  buy   any   cosmetics  even   in   India.  Next   time around, I will ask Anu to give her any of her unwanted lipsticks and nail  polish.” Vasu‘s  face  darkened, while I cringed in embarrassment. Raghavan was already out waiting by the elevator. Thankfully, Ashok made his entry at this moment having erased all his photos  from  his  mom’s  camera.  He  came  and  stood  behind  me.  If  nothing   else, at least his mother would watch her mouth with him there. “Vasu!  This  is  my  husband  Ashok,”  I  said, introducing Ashok. They shook hands. Vasu smiled and tried to look cordial. But I guess my mother-in-law’s   words   still   rankled.   Ashok   merely   nodded   and   looked   at   him as if he were waiting for him to leave. “Ok  Nithya!  I  will  catch  up  with  you  later.  Bye.” He turned and put his shoes on and looked back at me. It was a glance that I was familiar with, one that took me back to a time when we had known each other well.

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EIGHT

Meeting Vasu was a good distraction for my mother-in-law and myself. I had always wondered about him. I had heard from other relatives that he was   in   Mumbai   but   didn’t   know   that   he   had been so successful. I hadn’t   recognized him right away. He had grown taller and had become fairer, which was still darker skinned than I remembered. He used to be quite skinny when I knew him but he had filled out well. It was his eyes that I had recognized and the intense stare that he gave me. Imagine the odds of meeting him like this in the US. After he left, Chittappa had told everyone that he stole something from home, and that was why he ran away. We never believed it. Vasu’s   visit   provided   a new topic of discussion in the house for my mother-in-law. After he left, she probed me to learn more about him. She took it for granted that I had been in touch with him right from the beginning  and  wouldn’t  believe  me  when  I  told  her  that  I  was  meeting  him   for the first time after all these years. I told her that he left the house because my Chittappa had wanted him to study at patashala and become a vadiyar. “How  can  he  leave  the  house  after  all that Narasimhachari did for him? Doesn’t  he  have  any  gratitude?  He  would  have   become  very  rich  indeed  if   he had become a vadiyar.” She took   Vasu’s   visiting   card   and   studied   it.   “What   kind   of   name   is   ‘Cybermax  System’?  It  says  he  is  the CEO.  It  is  probably  fake.” I left her shaking her head and trying to remember all the things she had heard about Vasu.

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The Perfect Groom

*** Safe in my room, I googled Cybermax Systems. It seemed that Cybernet, the company Vasu started with Sridhar, had overtaken all its competitors within two years and had netted huge profits for the partners. A small operation that had started with twenty-five people had become a public limited company with over a thousand employees. Three years ago he had merged Cybernet with System Max, another company, to create Cybermax. I also read many news excerpts that described Cybermax as providing outstanding customer service. Many software giants were buying their assembled computers and their service was reportedly impeccable.  Vasu  had  been  named  the  ‘Entrepreneur  of  the   Year’   by   an   organization   called   TIE   and   had   been   called   to   speak at a conference. So that was why he was here in the US. He was getting an award. I went back to my room and changed into a kurti and jeans. It was getting late for work. It was quiet at the restaurant and there were not many people around. I sat down at a table and got myself a cup of coffee. I wanted to send him a SMS. ‘Hi,  it  was  great  meeting  you’ ‘It  was  nice  meeting  you…’ ‘Vasu,  Nithya  here.  Sorry  about  my  MIL’s  comments.  It  was  nice  meeting   you today. Let me know when u  will  b  free  and  I  will  call  u’ I sent the SMS and was pleasantly surprised to receive a response almost immediately. ‘It’s   ok.   I   suppose   she   is   our   Chittappa’s best friend. Anyway am at a boring  conference  so  can’t  talk  but  I  can   SMS. I guess I will b free after 6 pm today.’

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It felt odd messaging Vasu. He was someone from a different time altogether. ‘Ok. I will call u then. bye’ With that, I went to the kitchen to start my work. After two hours I had finished most of the snacks and was awaiting further orders from Diana. I took my mobile out of my jeans to check if there were any further messages. ‘When did u come to the US?’ Is he messaging me from his conference? I hurriedly typed my response. ‘3 yrs ago’ Within a minute he sent me another one. ‘After marriage?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Love marriage?’ ‘No’ ‘Arranged marriage like a good girl?’ ‘Yes’ ‘I was shocked when I saw u’ ‘Me too’ ‘It  never  occurred  to  me  that  Ragini’s  frnd Divya cld be our Divya’ Before I could type my response, Diana came in with a request for more samosas and I got busy with it. After about an hour, I checked my mobile and found 4 messages from him. I settled down in the storeroom to read it. ‘How is Amruthi mami? She must b happy seeing u well settled’ ‘I  am  going  to  book  a  ticket  to  Chennai  once  I  get  back  home.  I  want  to   see  your  mom.’ ‘R  u  there?  R  u  busy?’ ‘Can we meet for lunch or dinner tomorrow? I have lots to ask u’

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33

The Perfect Groom

My  mother  was  disappointed  and  hurt  when  she  didn’t  hear  from  Vasu   after he left Mumbai. But she also understood the reason for his silence and shared it with us. She said that Vasu was probably afraid that we might believe our Chittappa, when he put out the false rumor of him stealing something. Divya and I knew that Chittappa was lying because he kept changing   his   story   about   the   ‘item’   that   Vasu   had   stolen,   but   we   couldn’t   contradict him. I replied to all his messages immediately. ‘Amma is fine. She is happy. Divya recently got a job in Wipro’ ‘Amma will be glad to see you after so many years’ ‘Am  sorry  I  was  busy  at  work.  That’s  y  I  didn’t  see  ur  messages’ ‘Sure. You can come down to my restaurant for dinner tomorrow. Can u be here by 7 pm’ I waited for his response for a few seconds and there it was. ‘Ur restaurant?’ He seems surprised but I was glad that I was able to tell him that I was independent to some degree. ‘Yes. I work at a restaurant as an assistant chef’ ‘Wow!  That’s  great.  Send  me  the  address’ I quickly typed the address and sent it to him. After about half a minute there was one more message from him. ‘When can I call u? I want to talk to u’ I guess he must be feeling odd messaging me when we had not met each other for more than ten years. There were too many things to share and in my case, many things to hide. ‘After 9 I will be alone in my room I will call u’ Within a minute, he responded and I wondered whether he was listening to any of the papers being presented at the conference he was attending. ‘Wat abt ur husband? Will he there?’ 34

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‘No he comes late’ I  suddenly  remembered  that  I  didn’t  ask  him  whether  he  was  married  or   not. Exchanging messages through phone somehow seemed to me like flirting  and  I  wouldn’t  want  to  do  that  with  a  married  man.  I  quickly  typed  a   message. ‘I forgot to ask u. Did u get married?’ Will   he   say   ‘yes’? Maybe he was married. He must be twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old by now. He was successful, nice to look at and well settled. My  aunt’s  grapevine  may have missed the news. Maybe his wife was from Mumbai and maybe he had brought her here along with him. As I was mentally trying to picture his wife there was a reply from him. ‘No. y r u planning to do some matchmaking’ Great!  So  he  is  not  married.  And  why  would  I  do  matchmaking  for  him… ‘No  thanks.  I  really  can’t  compete  with  Chittappa’ After that there was no reply from him. He was probably busy at the conference so I tidied up and left for home. It was seven pm by the time I reached home. My mother-in-law was sitting in the living room with her computer on. She was busy chatting with her husband. I quickly went to the kitchen and heated up my dinner. She had made rotis, dal and potato curry. I silently filled my plate and ate in my room. I could still hear some snippets of conversation from my mother-in-law. “Ashok  says  that  he  does  not  want  kids  right  now… Maybe they are using Nirodh or  something  like  that… I  don’t  know  what  to  do…” A pause as she listened to her husband. “Yeah   she   is   coming   with   me   to   India   after   two   months… Yes she is working   in   some   restaurant… God knows why Ashok is allowing all this nonsense.” “Yes.   Those   people   were   from   Madurai.   What   did   they   say?   Did   they   match the horoscope? Ok! Let me know what they say.”

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The Perfect Groom

They had been actively looking for a match for my sister-in-law Anu for almost a year but nothing had clicked so far. I checked the time; it was a little after eight. I quickly finished my dinner and called my mom. “Hello!  Nithya!  Sollu ma!”  she  said  happily. “Nothing  much  Amma!  Guess  who  I  met  today?”  I  asked  her. “Who?”  She asked curiously. “Vasu,”  I  said  smiling  to  myself. “Vasu.  But  how?”  She  was  predictably  shocked. “Divya’s   friend’s   friend   was   supposed   to   pick   a   package   from   me. It turned  out  to  be  Vasu.  I  couldn’t  believe  my  eyes.” She was silent for a while and then asked, “How  is  he?  He  came  to  your   house?” “Yes.   He   came   home.   He   looks   totally   different.   He   actually   resembles   Chittappa now,”  I  said  voicing  the  impression  that  had been at the back of my mind ever since I saw him. “Does  he?  Did  he  remember  you?  How  come  he  is  in  the US?”  she  asked   eagerly. “Yes  he  remembered  me.  But  we  couldn’t  talk  much  as  my  mother-in-law was there. He is here for a conference and he is getting an award,”  I  said, recalling  what  I  had  read  on  his  company’s  website. “Really!   I  wish  your   Chittappa could hear this. Anyway what is done is done.” “I  will  be  talking  to  him  in  an  hour  or  so.  I  will  call  you  later  and  give  you   an update and by the way, Vasu’s  friend  Raghavan  will  be  coming home to give you the package,”  I  said “Okay,   say   thanks   to   Vasu.   Ask   him   to   call   me   without   fail,”   said   my   mother. I said I would and ended the call hurriedly, as I could hear a beep for another call coming in. I hoped it was Vasu, but it was Ashok.

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“Hello!”  I  said. “Listen!   Tell   my   mother   that   I   have   booked   her   ticket   to   New   York   for   tomorrow. She wanted to go to Indra mami’s house for a few days,”  he  said. That will be welcome relief for both of us actually! “Okay,”  I  said happily. “The   flight   is   tomorrow   afternoon.   Tell   her   that   I   will   drop   her   at   the   airport,”  he  said  calmly. “Okay.   Are   you   coming   home?”   voicing a question for which I already knew the answer. “I   will   come   late.   I   am   going   off   with   Sunil   and   others   for some wine tasting in  Napa  Valley  tomorrow.  I  badly  need  a  fucking  break,”  he  said  and   cut the call. He  couldn’t  have  put it any better. And it meant I would be completely on my own for the next two or three days! I felt like celebrating. I sat on the bed, pensively looking at the phone. It was almost nine pm. I almost had no one to talk to in US, apart from Diana. And there were so many things that I had to update Vasu about. So many things had happened, so many changes. He had gone on to make a name for himself and was successful while I was still stuck in a rut. Just then Vasu called. I composed myself and took his call. “Hi!” “Hi!  Vasu!  Back  from  the  conference?”  I  asked.  He  sounded  tired. “Yes!”  he  said  with  a  sigh.  “I  didn’t  have  much  to  do  but  it  was  so boring that  I  almost  fell  asleep.  Are  you  back  home?” “Yes.   I   come   back   by   seven pm.   So   where   are   you   staying?”   I   asked   settling myself on the pillows. “At  a  studio  apartment  that  we  have  rented  for  ten days. It is pretty close to  your  house.”

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37

The Perfect Groom

We were silent for a while. I had so many questions to ask him but somehow  I  couldn’t  open  up.  After  a  while  he  spoke,  “I  am  sorry, Nithya!” I  was  surprised,  “For  what?” “I  didn’t  keep  in  touch  with  you  or  your  family  after  I  went  to  Mumbai.  I   had my reasons but now when I think about it they seem unimportant,”  he   said softly. My mother was right. It was just as she suspected. “Did   you   think   that   we   would   believe   Chittappa’s version   of   events?”   I   asked. “Yes,”  his  reply  was  almost  a  whisper. “How   could   you?   We knew that he was lying. But we are sorry too, we couldn’t  contradict  him,”  I  said  softly. He  was   silent  for  a  while  and  said,  “I   know.   I  understand.   Now  when  I   think about it I feel like kicking myself. You know I missed your mom so much.”  There  was  an  unspoken pain in his voice. “I  know.  She  missed  you  too. She never quit worrying about you. I spoke to  her  today  and  told  her  about  you.  She  was  very  happy,”  I  said. “Did  you?  Give  me  her  number  and I  will  call  her.” “Hmm.  Not  now.  Right  now  she  will  be  at  Chittappa’s house. Call later. I will SMS the  number,”  I  said “So. When did you get married? You know I got the shock of my life when  I  saw  you  today.” “I   was   surprised   that   you   recognized me after so many years. I have changed  a  lot,”  I  teased. “No!  I  would have recognized you instantly. You still have those big, onerupee coin eyes and that parrot-like nose. Remember how I used to tease you…”  In  a  flash  he  was  back  to being the Vasu that I knew from years ago.

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“You  know, you’re horrible! I am generally considered to be pretty, even by American   men.   By   the   way,   why   aren’t you married? I thought you would  be  by  now?”  I  asked, curious to know his answer. “Why?   Are   you   planning   to   match-make or something? No thanks. So how  did  you  get  married?” I wondered what I could tell him. “Hmmm   three   years   ago.   Ashok’s   father   saw   me   in   Chittappa’s house and  asked  for  my  hand  for  his  son.” “And…” “And   what?”   This   was   getting   too close for comfort. I wondered how I could change the subject. “And   then   what   happened?   Chittappa must   have   said   ‘no’   right?”   He   knew his uncle better than anybody. “No.  He  didn’t.  He convinced my mother that this was a great proposal and got me married,”   I   said, hoping that this would be the end of the subject. Vasu was silent for a while. I thought he had cut the call. “Hello!” “Yeah  I  am  there.  I  think  I  may  have  to  clean  my  ears.  Did  you  say  that   he  got  you  married?” “Yes  Vasu, he did. Anyway, leave it. How long are you here till?”  I  asked   trying to change the subject. “I  still can’t  believe  it. Chittappa getting  you  a  US  alliance!  Why  didn’t  he   snap it up for Jayashree? Did she  get  married  before  you  did?”  he asked. I closed my eyes. I wish I had told him that it was a love marriage and I had eloped with Ashok. “Jayashree  got  married  two  months  after I did. But her alliance was fixed before  mine.  I  guess  that’s  why?”  I  said, hoping desperately that he would leave the subject alone.

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The Perfect Groom

“Wow!  Namba mudiyala! Well I am glad that you are well settled. Your mother  must  be  so  happy  for  you,”  he  said  sincerely. I knew he meant well but certain things were better unsaid. “So  anyway, how  long  are  you  here?”  I  asked  him. “I   am   leaving   next   Monday.   Where   does   your   husband   work?   Is   he   a software  professional?”  he questioned. “He   works   at   Siemens   Communication.   Yes   he   is   a   senior software manager  there,”  I  replied  mechanically. “Are  you  happy?”  he  asked  softly. Why is he asking me this question? Does he suspect that I am not? “Of  course  I  am  happy,”  I  answered  making  my  voice  light and carefree. “I  am  happy  to  hear  that,”  he replied happily. “Did  you  ever return to  Chennai  in  all  these  years?”  I  asked  him. “No.   I   had   no   reason   to go back there. By the way, Raghavan will be going  to  Divya’s  office  tomorrow,  to  give  your  package,” he replied. “Thanks,”  I  said. “Then, what else? Do you live with your mother-in-law  here?” “No, she   is   just   visiting.   She   will   leave   in   another   month   or   so,”   I   said   hoping that it would indeed happen that way. “Okay. I actually came to the US for an award ceremony. On Sunday TIE, the organization that has sponsored my trip, will be giving me an Entrepreneur award. Would you like to come for the event? I can book three seats for you, your husband and mother-in-law,”  he  said. “No,”  I  said  quickly. “You can book a seat for me, alone. My mother-inlaw doesn’t  go  out  much  and  Ashok  won’t  be  in  town.” “Okay.” He hesitated for a moment and then asked,   “So, you are an assistant  chef  in  a  restaurant?” “Yes.  I  make  Indian  snacks  there,”  I  replied.

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“Great.  So  when  do  you  go  to  India?  Once  a  year?”  he  asked. “Actually   I   have   not   been   back in India since I got married. But next month   I   will   be   going   there,”   I   replied remembering my mother-in-law’s   conversation about taking me to a fertility expert. Returning home had lost most of its appeal ever since I heard that. Sensing   my   silence,   Vasu   asked,   “What   happened?   Slept   off?   You   must   be tired. Go to sleep. I will come to your restaurant tomorrow and we can talk  more.” I suddenly felt very tired. “Yes.  It’s  been  a  long  day  for me. We can have dinner  at  my  restaurant.” “We’ll  see.  Bye,”  he  said  and  ended the call. I  don’t  know  how  long  I  sat  there  looking  at  the  phone  and  going  over  my   conversation with him. I was glad that I had met him, but the burden of pretense was getting to me. And Vasu would be the last person I would want to confide in, about my life.

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The Perfect Groom

NINE

I  don’t  know  what  time  Ashok  came  back  home.  When  I  woke  up, I found him sleeping next to me. I got up quietly and took a bath. I felt excited and awake after a long time. Then I remembered that I had not told my motherin-law about the ticket that Ashok had booked for her. I quickly got dressed and went into the kitchen where she was cooking breakfast. She was very happy when I told her that Ashok had booked the tickets. She was bored, was feeling claustrophobic and, most importantly, she hoped that I would use the weekend to make a baby. I did not tell her that Ashok had his own plans for the weekend. I helped my mother-in-law to pack her bag and woke up Ashok. “Make   fresh   meals   for   my   son   and   do   not   add   garlic   or   onion.   I   don’t   want you cooking onion in my kitchen,” she ordered. I wonder what she would say if she knew Sunil used to cook chicken in ‘her’ kitchen every weekend! “Tomorrow  is  amavasya so you will need to make payasam.” Ashok wheeled her suitcase back in hall. She hugged Ashok as if she was leaving the country forever. “Stay   at   home   and   enjoy   a   relaxed   weekend… I really think a cozy weekend at home would do the trick.” “AYYO!  WILL  YOU  JUST  STOP  IT?”  he shouted. Not that it had any effect on the woman. She just pinched his cheeks and walked out, with a sullen Ashok following her. I sat down on the couch for a while, to relax and unwind.

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Half an hour later, Ashok came back and started packing. He came out after fifteen minutes with his backpack. I was just going to  the  kitchen  to  get  his  lunch  when  he  said,  “No,  don’t   bother.  I  am  not  hungry.  She  doesn’t  know  that  I  am  off  for  the  weekend  so   you will have to manage if she calls. I will be back by Monday afternoon and will go straight to the office.”  It  had  been  almost  a  month  since  he  spoke  to   me so normally. “Okay,” I said. “Call  me  if  you  need  anything,”  he  said. Which  actually  meant  ‘Do  Not  Call  Me’. I had learnt that a long time ago. He got into his car and zoomed off without a backward look. I had the house and the weekend all to myself. *** After Ashok left, I also went out. My mother-in-law was right; it was claustrophobic in the apartment. I went for a walk and ended up in the park. I sat  there  listening  to  A.R.  Rahman’s  soothing  music  for  some  time. Old memories of the time that I spent with Vasu surfaced. I remembered how we used to roam around the roads of Mylapore during Aaruvathi moovar eating free pongal and drinking neer more. He was more like a protective older brother then. I remembered how he had fought with some boys from the nearby slum when Divya had complained that they teased her. He was a rebel and always found new ways of defying my  uncle’s  plans.   My mother was always worried that he would get into some serious trouble but I was glad that he left the house to do what he wanted to do. At least one of us had escaped. ***

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The Perfect Groom

I got up and started walking towards the restaurant when my phone rang. It was Divya. I promptly cut the call and called her back. “Hello” “Hi!  Sollu!  Did  you  finally  get  the  package  that  I  sent  you?” “Yes.  Thanks.  I  love  the  make-up. Raghavan came to office yesterday and gave  it  to  me,”  she  said  enthusiastically. “Good,”  I  said  and  smiled. “Amma said that   Raghavan   is   Vasu’s   friend   is   that   right?   How   is   Vasu   anna?  I  want  to  speak  to  him  too.” “Yes.  They  both  came  to  my  house  yesterday.  Vasu  is  fine.  He  is  here  to   get an award. Can you believe it? I will call you next time, when he is around, so you can speak  to  him.” “Hey  and  by  the  way,  do  you  know  Raghavan  is  Deepa’s  cousin?” Deepa   was   Divya’s   close   friend   from   college.   I   was   surprised.   This   was   indeed turning into a week of twists of fate. “That’s  a  coincidence,”  I  said  out  loud. “Yes.  Deepa  and  I  are  meeting him today again. We are going out for a movie.  He  seems  like  a  nice  guy,”  she  said. I promised to call Divya again later in the day and ended the call. When I reached the restaurant, I told Diana that I was expecting a guest. She was very happy and took it for granted that it was a dinner date that I was expecting. She urged me to take off early and get ready. I changed into a nice salwar kameez that I had brought with me and applied some light make-up. Vasu came at around six-thirty. Diana seated him at a discreet table and drove me out of the kitchen to join him. “Hi,” I said, a little nervously. He looked up and gave me an x-ray stare. I remembered a tidbit of information that I had read, something about not been stared at, until you

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have been stared at by a Scorpio. And I remembered that Vasu was a Scorpio. And then he smiled at me and I blinked, he had really turned quite handsome over the years. “I  thought  I  would  see  you  in  an  apron  and  a  chef’s  hat,”  he  said, smiling wickedly. Humph. So much  for  getting  ready.  I  shouldn’t  have  listened  to  Diana. “Sorry  to  disappoint  you  but  I  changed,”  I  said, a little miffed. He smiled. “I  am  not  disappointed.” And that look again. “So  what  will  you  have?”  I  asked, handing the menu to him. He looked through the menu and came to the Indian snacks section. “You  make  these?”  he  asked  looking  doubtful. “Yes!”  I looked at him outraged. He grinned. “I   will   have   the   assorted   snacks   platter.   Then   I   can   taste   everything  that  you  have  made,”  he  said charmingly. I went over to the counter, placed his order and came back. He  smiled  at  me  and  asked,  “Why  don’t  you  call  your  husband  and  ask   him  to  join  us?” “He  has  gone  to  Napa  Valley  for the weekend with his friends,”  I  said. “Oh!  Why  didn’t  you  go too?”  he  asked. “It  was an  office  thing.  Anyway  he  wanted  to  go  there  with  his  friends,”  I   said lightly. Thankfully  he  didn’t  pursue  the  subject. “So  what  did  you  study  in  college?”  he  asked. “Hotel  management,”  I  answered. “Good.  And  Chittappa didn’t  say  anything  to  that?” “Well, he wanted me to stop my studies and start working but my father’s   friend   Chandru   Uncle stepped in and funded my studies, and Divya’s.” www.indireads.com

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The Perfect Groom

We were silent for a while. I looked up at him from underneath my lashes. “What?”  he asked suddenly. “Nothing,”  I  answered and lowered my eyes. “What  nothing?  You  are  staring  at  me,”  he asked, staring back at me. “I   was   just   imagining what you would look like, if you had opted to become a vadiyar,”  I  said  teasingly. “If   I   had   stayed   and   had   become   a   vadiyar, you would be married to me,”  he  said  looking  into my eyes. It  was   a  ‘classic  foot  in  the  mouth’   moment.  He  realized it immediately and coughed as a cover up and then promptly changed the subject. “So  how  is  Chittappa nowadays? I heard that Jayashree got married too? How  is  she?”  he  asked  curiously. “He   is   just   the   same.   Jayashree   got   married   the   same   year   that   I   got   married. I got married in July and she in September. She is in Canada. She calls  me  now  and  then,”  I  answered, biting my nails. “Still  biting  your nails…  chh'ee. And on top of it you are a chef,” he said, making a face. “I   actually   stopped   this   habit   but   started   it   again when I saw your face yesterday  morning,”  I  said, making a face back at him. I smiled, remembering how he used to hate that habit of mine. One day he had put bitter neem oil on my fingers while I was sleeping, to stop me from biting my nails. I remember shouting at him after waking up and chasing him. But he had been too fast for me, and had run away before I could hit him. “So  you  are  still  with  Sridhar?”  I  asked. “We   are   still partners in the same company, yes. But we live separately now. I have my own apartment and he got remarried last week.”   Vasu smiled thinking of his old friend and benefactor.

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“That’s  good.  I  am  happy  for  him,”  I  said. I  had  heard  of  his  wife’s  death. “Yeah.  I  thought  he  would  never  get  over  his  first  wife’s  death.  He  used   to drink a lot too. But after he met Shanthi two years ago, he was finally able to get over it.” “Is that his new wife’s  name?”  I  asked. “Yes.   She   is   a   Maharashtrian.   She   was   his   neighbor’s   niece.” The lingering smile on his face showed that he cared about the woman who had married Sridhar. Diana came over, carrying the snacks platter. “Diana!   This   is   my   friend   Vasu,”   I   said, introducing them. Vasu shook hands with her. “Vasu!  Diana  is  the  only  friend  that  I  have  in  the US. She is also my boss here.” “Hi!  Nice  to  meet  you.” Vasu stood there, with old-fashioned gallantry. “You   too.   Nithya   is   a   very   special girl. You take care of her.”   Diana winked at him and left. I could kill Diana. Vasu was looking puzzled. “Don’t   mind   Diana,   she   is   just   pulling   my   leg,”   I   said   and   changed   the   subject  to  food.  “Try  this  cutlet  and  tell  me  how  it  is.  This  is  our  in-house specialty.” He took some and nibbled. “Hmm. Good.  Too  bad  you  make  only  north  Indian  dishes  here,”  he  said, sounding disappointed. “What  do  you  mean?”  I  asked. “What   I   really   want   is   some   pulliyorai made by your mother, vathal kozhambu, yennai kathirikai. You know it is very strange. Two days ago, I had a sudden yearning to eat pakka south  Indian  food.” “Hmmm!  Maybe  it  was  a  sign  that  you  are  going  to  meet  me.  Sorry  but  I   can’t  serve  pulliyorai here,”  I  said, smiling at him.

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The Perfect Groom

“But  I  want  Amruthi mami’s pulliyorai,”  he  asked  boyishly. “For  that  you will have to go to Chennai.”  I  was  quiet  for  a  moment. “You  know  my  mother  used  to  worry  about  you  so  much,”  I  said  softly. A hint of a shadow passed over his face. “You   have   no   idea   how   I   felt.   When   I   left   Chennai,   I   was   so   angry.   I   didn’t  think  at all. I just told Sridhar sir that I wanted to go with him. He made all the arrangements and I went off with him with all I owned in the world, two sets of clothes. A week after we reached there, Sridhar sir came back to Chennai and he met Chittappa to inform him that I was with him in Mumbai.  That’s  when  he  told  Sridhar  sir that I had stolen some jewelry and left. I was so lucky that Sridhar sir believed me otherwise he could have sent me back. I knew in my heart that your mother would not believe the lie,  but  I  was  also  afraid.  Does  that  make  any  sense?” There were  tears  in  his  eyes  and  I  couldn’t  help  but  put  my  hand  in  his   and give him an affectionate squeeze. We were interrupted by Diana, who had come with another tray of assorted snacks for him. We  let  go  of  each  other’s  hands just as she gave me a smug smile. I was embarrassed and blushed a deep red. Luckily Vasu   didn’t   notice   anything.   He   was   too busy loading his plate with patis and cutlets. “Give  me  your  mother’s  number.  I  want  to  talk  to  her.” I  dialed  my  mom’s  number.  I  knew  she  would  be  home  now. “Amma? Nithya here,”  I  said. “Sollu ma.  Are  you  ok?”  she  asked. “Yes  I  am  fine.  Vasu  is  here  with  me.  He  wants  to  talk  to  you.” I   gave   the   phone   to   Vasu.   He   took   the   phone   and   said   softly,   “Mami. Vasu  here.” “Vasu!  I  am  so  glad  you  are  in  touch  again.”

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“Mami, you have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice. I am so sorry; I should have contacted you before.  But  I  thought…”  His  voice  broke   and he looked into my eyes regretfully. I patted his hand. “Ennada Vasu. Leave it. There is no point in talking about the old things now.  I  heard  that  you  are  getting  an  award  in  the  US.  Congratulations!” “Thanks  mami,”  he said and smiled. “How  long  are  you  there  in  the US?  Where  are  you  staying?” “I  am  here  for another week. After that, the first thing I am going to do is to  book  a  flight  to  Chennai.” “Yes   I   want   to   meet   you   too.   Let   me   know   when   you   are   here.”   They talked for a few minutes more and after the call ended, he handed the phone back to me. We smiled at each other. “Thank  you.” “You  are  welcome.” After the call, Vasu seemed to have developed a voracious appetite and he polished off the entire platter of snacks. It was as   if  he   hadn’t  eaten   in   years. Perhaps a burden had been lifted for him that night. Afterwards, he offered to walk me home. The night air was crisp and cool and we walked comfortably together. I wondered if we would meet again, when he spoke,   “I   have   two   tickets   for   a   Hindi   movie   tomorrow.   Do   you   want  them?” “What  will  I  do  with  two  tickets?”  I  asked  him. “Watch  the  movie  with  your  husband,”  he  said, fishing out his iPhone. “Ashok  is  out  of  town.” “What  about  your  mother-in-law?”  he  asked  smilingly. “She  is  out  of  town  too,”  I  said. After hesitating for a moment he  asked,  “Do  you  think your husband will mind  if  we  watch  the  movie  together?” “No, he  won’t,”  I  said  quickly. www.indireads.com

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“Are  you  sure?” “Very  sure.  It  is  ok. Ashok will be fine.” “Why  don’t  you  call  and  tell  him?  Then  I  won’t  feel  bad  about  taking  you   out,”  he  said  finally. “I  will  be  talking  to  him  tonight.  I  will  tell  him  then,”  I  said, and smiled at him. So this is not goodbye after all. I will see him again tomorrow. We reached my building and Vasu waited until I was inside before leaving. I entered the house humming a beautiful A.R. Rahman number. I didn’t  know  what  was  happening  but  I  felt  light  and  happier  than  I  had  ever   felt before. It was a whole new experience. After feeling constantly heavy and miserable for almost my whole life, I finally realized what it meant to feel happy.

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TEN

I woke up feeling free and happy. It took me some time to get used to the feeling. It was great. I lounged around lazily in bed for some time. It was only eight and I   didn’t   have   to   be   at   the   restaurant   until   one. Then I remembered that there was an order for a party today. I should be done by six pm but I hoped I  wouldn’t  be  late  for the movie date. I smacked my head. It is not a date! I guess I was becoming more American living here. It was simply two childhood friends going out together to watch a movie. That’s  all. I fished out my phone from under the pillow and checked my messages. There were three from my mother-in-law. ‘Y is Ashok not picking up the phone.’ Well why would he? He must be having fun out there. I quickly replied that his phone had some problem and that we were fine. Then I typed a message to Vasu. ‘What time is the movie?’ He replied immediately. ‘8 pm. Hope it is not too late for u’ ‘No probs. I am free,’  I  wrote ‘How abt an early dinner and then the movie?’ He wrote back. I smiled and typed. ‘Fine. Be at my restaurant by 6 then’ ‘No not yours. It’s my treat today. Wats ur fav restaurant here?’

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The Perfect Groom

Hmm. I thought for a while. Sunil used to rave about Masala Curry all the time. Maybe we could go there. ‘Masala Curry recommended’ ‘Well then I will book seats there for us’ ‘Ok. Had breakfast?’ ‘Having…  you’ ‘I am still in bed’ ‘Lazy girl. Get out of bed, put kolam and make breakfast’ ‘Am taking a break from being a good DIL’ ‘I will let ur mother know in India abt this’ I   sent   him   a   ‘making   a   face’   smiley   and   got   out   of   the   bed.   After   a   leisurely bath, I made some fresh breakfast for myself, and ate while watching TV. Around eleven, I left for the restaurant, wanting to start early so I could be sure of finishing the order on time. Diana gave me a conspiratorial smile whenever we looked at each other. I really needed to tell her to stop it. I went over to her desk. She  looked  up  twinkling,  “So, how was the date? Did  he  enjoy  it?” “Diana!   It was   not   a   date.   But   yes   we   enjoyed   it.   Thanks,”   I   said   with   exaggerated patience and then added,  “You know he is just a friend. There is nothing between us. And we met yesterday after a ten-year  gap.  So  don’t   jump  to  conclusions.” “Honey!  My  instincts  are rarely wrong. You’ll  see,”  she  said  with  another smile. “Oh  God!  It  is  useless  arguing  with  you. I have to leave by six today, but don’t  worry, I will finish the regular snacks and the party order by  then,”  I   said. “Ah!   So   it   is   another   date   night   today.   Where are you off to with your young man?”  she asked with a smug smile.

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“It  is  not  a  date.  And  he  is  not  my  young man. We are just going to watch a  movie  and  have  dinner,”  I  said,  knowing  she  wouldn’t  give  up. “A  boy  and  a  girl  going  out  for  a  movie  and  dinner sounds like a date to me.   I   really   don’t   know   what   you   Indians   call   it   back   home,”   she   said, grinning and giving me an arch look. “Aaaagh! I am going, I have work to do.”  I  left  hurriedly, maneuvering through the chairs. “You  can  leave  by  five if you want.  I  can  manage,”  she  called  out  as  I  left. Great! That would give me enough time to go back to the apartment for a quick shower before we left for our date. Correction! It’s not a date. I got busy with preparations for the party order. It was four-thirty when I finally finished preparing everything and cleaned up. I sat down for a break and sipped some soda while checking my phone for messages. There were four from my mother-in-law, which I ignored, and two from Vasu that I opened immediately. ‘Where should I pick u up? Apartment or restaurant?’ ‘Did u ask ur husband? Is it ok?’ I ignored the second message and sent my answer for the first, asking him to pick me up at the apartment. I went back to the kitchen and was making sure everything was ready, when Diana came and hustled me to get going. *** Back in the apartment, I took a quick shower and then took some time searching for a nice outfit. Finally I settled on a pretty sky blue salwar kameez. I dried my long hair with the dryer. I felt it was my only really beautiful feature thick, straight, glossy and almost waist length. I tied it loosely and put on some light make-up. It had been a long time since I surveyed myself in the mirror and I was pleased with what I saw.

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The Perfect Groom

*** Vasu sent me an SMS from downstairs when he arrived. I picked up my handbag and hurried down. He was wearing faded jeans and a t-shirt, and smelled of soap and cologne. He smiled at me and for some reason I blushed. “You  look nice,”  he  said  appreciatively. I could see it in his gaze. I felt hot and awkward. He opened the door for me and I sat in the car. He seemed to really know his way around. “Have  you  come  to  Sunnyvale  before  this?”  I  asked  curiously. “Yes, four years ago. I had come for a project and stayed here for a month,” he said. No wonder he knew his way around! In the past three years, I had never gone out with anybody except Diana. There were some shopping trips that I made with Sunil during the early days but Ashok resented it, so I learnt to find my own way around. We  reached  the  restaurant  and  the  maître  d’  seated  us  in  a  corner  seat.  It   was a nice restaurant, quiet and serene. Even after we placed our orders Vasu continued to search through the menu. “Are  you  searching  for  pulliyorai in  the  menu?”  I  asked  mischievously. “Yeah.  It  says  Pudhina rice and I read it as Pulliyorai,”  he  said, putting the menu aside sadly. I looked around the restaurant and spotted some Indian families from the neighborhood. When I looked at Vasu, I found him staring at me intently. “What?”  I  asked.  Sometimes  his  stares  could  be  quite  unnerving. “You   don’t   talk   much   about   your   life   here.   What   about   your   husband?   What kind of a guy is he? Is he keeping you happy? What are your future plans?”  he  asked, looking steadily into my eyes.

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I felt flustered. Why is he asking me all these questions? I  looked  down  and  said,  “I  am  fine.  Ashok  is  a  nice  guy.” “I   am   very   curious.   Tell   me   more   about   him,”   he   said, as if he was interviewing me. I felt uneasy and tried to hide it, and pretended to think aloud. “Hmmm.   What   can   I   say?   He   is   very   quiet   and   reserved.   Doesn’t   talk   much. He likes his space and gives me a lot of space too, to do whatever I want  to  do.” At least this much was true! “So  do  you  go  out  much?  Does  he  take  you  out for  holidays?” “He   is   a   bit of a workaholic and he likes to go around with his friends. But  he  is  a  nice  guy,”  I  said, hoping that he would change the subject. “I  am  surprised  that  he  left  you  alone  for  the  weekend  and  went  away.  If your mother-in-law is also not here, he could have taken you along.”   He   seemed unconvinced by the character certificate that I had given Ashok. “No.  I   told   him   to   go.   He   has   been   working   very   hard   this   past   month. On top of that, ever   since   his   mother  came   he   hasn’t   been   anywhere   with   his   friends,”   I   said almost truthfully and   added,   “And   I   really   don’t   mind   staying  alone  for  two  days.” “Did  you  tell  Ashok  that  you  are  going  out  with  me?”  he  asked  narrowing   his eyes. “Of  course.  I  asked  him,  he  said  it  was  fine,”  I  said  smoothly. I needed to change the subject before I revealed anything more. “Hey!  Divya  got  the  package.  Please  thank  Raghavan  for  delivering  it,”  I said gratefully. “Sure.  Raghavan  called  me  last  night.  He  said  his  cousin  Deepa  is  Divya’s   friend.  I  believe  they  went  out  yesterday,”  he  replied lightly. “Yes.  It  is  such  a  small  world,”  I said and smiled at him. www.indireads.com

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The waiter brought the food and we started to eat. I was famished. Most days I barely had an appetite, but today I was ravenous. I ate through the rotis and dal that he had ordered and we shared pulav rice with some paneer butter masala. We skipped dessert and left. At  the  theatre  Vasu  turned  and  asked  me,  “Ayyo! I forgot to ask you. Can you  understand  Hindi?” I gave him a disdainful look and said in a   superior   tone,   “Of   course.   I   watch Hindi serials and movies all the time. Okay?” He  smiled  and  said,  “Okay! Okay! Just  asking.  I  can’t  switch  on a subtitle button if you don’t  understand…” I punched him on the shoulder before he could finish. It was a comedy film and I couldn’t  remember the last time I laughed so much. We shared popcorn and chips that he bought during the interval. It was late by the time the movie ended. He dropped me back at the apartment. “I  really  enjoyed  the  movie.  Thanks,”  I  said  sincerely. “Yeah  me  too.  I  don’t  usually go and watch movies in the theatre. Listen! I want to do some shopping   tomorrow.   If   you   aren’t busy, can you come with  me?”  he  asked, hesitantly. “Sure.  No  problem,”  I  said, happy to know that I would be meeting him again tomorrow. I  didn’t  probe  the feeling too much.

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ELEVEN

Ashok was back, and so was my mother-in-law. She had a hundred questions to ask about the so-called  ‘sexy  weekend’  that  Ashok  and  I  had. Despite the situation at home, I was having a wonderful time with Vasu. We would meet after my restaurant hours and spend hours eating snacks or sipping soda. I  couldn’t  wait  to  leave  the  apartment  in  the  morning.  I  took  to  leaving  as   early as possible and finished my chores as quickly as possible. Evenings were reserved for Vasu. We talked non-stop about how he used to help me escape   from   our   uncle’s   house   especially   when   Chithi assigned us some chores. We shared notes on all the movies that we had watched over the past ten years. I gave him updates about all the neighbors and friends in Mylapore. At some level I thought I should feel guilty. I was, after all, spending time with someone who was not my husband. But I  didn’t. It seemed so natural and so right. One night, I came home a bit earlier than usual. I got dirty looks and mumbled comments from my mother-in-law. But I was too happy to let them bother me. “Going   off  to a  restaurant…  don’t  know  what  Ashok  was  thinking   when   he gave you permission… not  interested  in  having  a  baby… my mother-inlaw used to lock me in with your father-in-law  soon  after  Ashok  was  born… she  was  not  satisfied  with  just  one  son…” That was interesting and I suddenly had a vision of my mother-in-law’s   mother-in-law wearing a madisar, with a hunter whip in hand, asking her

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son and daughter-in-law to do the deed. Controlling an overwhelming urge to laugh, I retreated to my room. After a relaxing bath, I lay down to rest and wait for Ashok to return. I didn’t  want  to  call  him  and  make  him  angry  so  I  sent  him  an  SMS instead. ‘R u having dinner at home? When r u coming home?’ ‘Will be home late. I already had dinner’ Having discharged my duty as a good wife, I settled down with a book but found myself distracted and unsettled. I got up and pulled out the other album I had found along with my marriage album. There were old photographs of some function or the other that occurred at   my   uncle’s   house. I had collected the ones with my family in them. I finally found the one I was looking for. It was a group photo of Jayashree, Divya and Vasu and I. He was wearing a shabby shirt, which had clearly once belonged to my uncle, and khaki pants. He must have been fourteen years old. It was the only photo in which he was smiling. I noticed the small details of his nose, his hairline and his tall frame, and compared it with his present image. I was shaken out of my reverie by sudden loud knocking. I hurriedly closed the album and hid it in the cupboard before opening the door. It was my mother-in-law. Surprisingly, she was smiling and that too at me! “Your   father-in-law just called.   Anu’s   marriage   is   fixed.   Thank   God!   I   was getting so worried. This was the eighth alliance that we looked for her. I have to go to Upilliappan Kovil and to Srirangam. And I must return to India earlier.” Great! If   Anu’s   marriage   is   fixed,  I   only   need   to   wait   for   Divya   to   get   married. “Call  Ashok  and  give  him  the  news  right now.” “Ok.” I got out my  mobile  and  dialed  Ashok’s  number.  Ashok  was  probably  out   with  his  friend  but  surely  he  wouldn’t  get  irritated  if I called and told him about  Anu’s  wedding. 58

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His mother snatched the phone from my hand, just as we got connected. “WHAT?”  shouted  Ashok. “Ashok!  Ashok!” “Don’t  shout, Amma!  I  can  hear  you.” “Listen!  Anu’s  wedding  is  fixed.  Your  father  just  called.” “Really!  That’s  good  news.  Who  is  this  guy?  Where  is  he  working?” “I  will  tell  you  everything.  You  come  home  first.” “Okay. I will leave now.” She gave the phone back to me and went back to her video chat. “We   have   to   get   the   jewelry out of the locker. I have to inform Usha mami immediately. And I will bring Nithya with me to India this time.” I strained my ears trying to hear what she said. “Yes   I   have   informed   Ashok.   He   can   book   the   tickets   tomorrow   for   the both  of  us.” Great! This is good news! I can meet Vasu in India! For a full minute I was happy before I realized what a fool I was. I was married to Ashok, and Vasu and the entire world thought that I was happy with him. I could not go around meeting Vasu like this all the time. This one week was just a one-off thing. We had met after almost a decade and we had a lot of catching up to do. No matter what excuse I gave myself, I knew I  didn’t have any reason to continue to meet him every day. Except that I wanted to. I kept brooding about it the whole night, and was still awake when Ashok came in early in the morning. I asked Ashok whether he wanted to attend Vasu’s  award  function with me but he was not bothered. Thankfully, he didn’t  have  any  objection  to  my going. I told my mother-in-law that I was attending a function that we were catering for and that I would be late.

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I breezed through my work in the morning, not allowing myself to get upset  by  Ashok’s  sullen  face  or  by  my  mother-in-law’s  comments  about  the   impending medical check-up in India. Vasu had said   that   he   wouldn’t   be   able   to   pick   me   up,   so   I   had   made arrangements to get to the venue on my own. I selected a beautiful designer sari that Diana had gifted me last year. I took my sari and make-up kit and went to the restaurant. Diana had said that she would help me get ready at her apartment. I felt more excited than I had ever felt before. I draped the sari and Diana took care of my make-up. She was also excited for me and I was touched. She sat me down and brushed my hair, while I checked my phone for messages. “So  did  you  tell  Vasu  everything?”  she  asked, her mouth full of hairpins. “No,”  I  said, gearing up for another bout of arguments. “Don’t  you  think  you  should  tell  him?”  she  asked, turning me around to face her. I bit my lip. “He   is   just   a   friend. And   I   don’t   see   any   reason   why   he   should  know  about  anything.” “I   still   think   that   you   should   open   up   to   him   and   tell   him,”   she   said seriously. “Diana!  I  know  you  mean  well.  You  are  probably  right.  But  Ashok’s  sister   is getting married in another three months. My sister will probably get married in a year or two. After that we are going to get a divorce. He will know  about  it  then,”  I  said  lightly. “I  thought  he  was  your  friend.  He  can  help  you  decide.” “I  don’t  want  anybody else to plan my future. My uncle did that once and I  am  paying  for  it.  I  want  to  make  my  own  decisions.  I  don’t  know  if  I   will make the right decision but even if it is wrong, at least I will have myself to blame  and  not  anybody  else,”  I  said  decisively.

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“Fair   point.   Anyway, forget it. You go and enjoy today. It is Vasu’s   big   night.” Diana surveyed me from top to bottom and declared that I looked beautiful. I looked at myself appraisingly and felt beautiful. She had booked a taxi to take me to the event, which was taking place at a concert hall in Sunnyvale. The reception was at the same place. When I reached the hall,  I  called  Vasu’s  mobile.  It  seemed  to  be  a  black   tie affair. Guests and members had begun to arrive and were being ushered inside. Feeling a bit unsure, I looked around for Vasu. Suddenly, I felt as if someone was staring at me. I turned. Vasu was staring at me, with some undefined emotion in his eyes. I looked up at him and smiled. He was dressed in a formal suit with a tie and was looking very handsome. He   came   closer   and   smiled,   “You   look very beautiful. Your husband didn’t  come?” “No.   He   had   to   take   his   mother   shopping,”   I   said, one of the many excuses that I had thought up for Ashok. He took my arm and walked with me to the front row. “Nithu, thanks for coming. I am really happy that you are here,”  he  said   calling me by the pet name that he alone used. “Vasu, I am so happy tonight. I wish my mother were here. She would have  been  so  happy,”  I  said, smiling back at him. “Yes.  But  at  least  you  are  there.  That  itself  is  a  big  thing,”  he  said  quietly. “I  have  to  go  on  the  stage  when  this  starts.  You  will  be  fine, right?” I  smiled  at  him  and  said,  “You  go  on  ahead.  I  will  be  fine.” He gave me wink and went backstage. Within ten minutes, the function began, with an address by the General Secretary. And then the President of TIE spoke, of the various endeavors that they had undertaken in these past years and about Vasu, and his achievements. I learnt that he had not only made money for his investors but had helped many new, struggling

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companies to find their ground in the market. Soon after the speech the President called on him and presented him with the award. I clapped and clapped until my hands were raw. I felt so proud of him, for rising above his situation and achieving something. And somewhere deep down, there was some regret too. Maybe  if  I  had  left  my  uncle’s  house   just as he did, I could have made something of my life too! There was applause all around but I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not see that Vasu had come across and was standing next to me. “Hey!  What  happened?” I  looked  up  and  smiled  and  said,  “Nothing.  Show  me  your  award.” He held it out to me. It was a heavy figurine with the engraving ‘Best Entrepreneur Award’. I looked up at him  and  said,  “Congratulations!” “Come, let  us  go  and  have  dinner.” He smiled and held out his hand. We were seated at the head table and Vasu was asked to make a speech. He gave an appropriately short, succinct speech and thanked the organization for recognizing him. Many people came over to congratulate him, and he introduced me to all of them  as  a  ‘close  friend’. It was late by the time the function ended. Vasu and I left in the car that TIE had arranged for him. I was exhausted and sad too. I didn’t  know  when   I would be able to meet him again or spend time with him. “What  happened?  Tired?”  he  asked, looking at me. “Hmm!”  I  said, stretching myself. “You  should  have   brought your husband along. You know many people actually thought that you were my wife?”  he  joked. “Did  they?  What  did  you  say  to  them?” He   didn’t   answer and   I   didn’t   probe. When we approached my apartment building, he turned towards me. “I  don’t  think  I  can  meet  you  tomorrow.  I  am  going  out  with  a  couple  of   friends tomorrow night and the day after that, I  will  be  leaving.”

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I  looked  down  and  nodded.  He  took  my  hand  in  his,  “I  didn’t  realize  how   lonely I was all these years. Thanks for everything. Thanks for being there for  me  today.” His eyes were moist and I could feel myself getting emotional too. I squeezed  his  hand  and  said,  “I  am  also  very  glad  that  I  was  with  you  today.  I   am  going  to  miss  you.” He  let  go  of  my  hand  and  asked,  “When  are  you  coming  to  India?” “Ashok’s  sister’s  wedding  is  fixed.  My  mother-in-law is leaving in a week. I think I  might  be  going  along  with  her  to  India,”  I  said, looking down. “That’s   really good news. Then you can come to Mumbai for a visit. Remember you promised to cook me a South Indian meal,”  he  said  happily. I looked up and smiled wistfully. “Yes.   I   will   try   to   come.   But   I   think   I   will  be  busy  until  the  wedding.  After  that  maybe…” “Okay. And this time around, you have to bring Ashok too. No excuses. Send me  his  number  and  I  will  invite  him  personally  to  Mumbai,”  he  said meaningfully. I nodded my head. We were at my apartment building. I got down from the car and said goodbye to him, feeling suddenly bereft.

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TWELVE

It  was  incredible!  I  didn’t hear a single taunt from my mother-in-law in the morning. Probably because she had been busy emailing her friends, posting updates on Facebook and having video chats with my father-in-law about the wedding. I took time off from work and went shopping with my mother-in-law. Anu had given me a list of things that she wanted from here. It took me four hours to track down everything and by the time we came back home it was past lunch-time. My mother-in-law ate and went straight to her room, citing a headache. I sat down in the living room, going through my messages. There were three from Diana asking me about the award night and one from Vasu which I immediately checked. ‘Sent u some links in email. Chk them. U look beautiful ’ My heart raced when I read the message. I look beautiful! I immediately opened my laptop and checked my mail. He had sent me the photos from yesterday’s   function.   He   was   right.   They   were   good   photos; I was looking beautiful and he was looking handsome. We made a great couple. ‘Nice pics. U look handsome nice too.’ ‘Wat r u doin?’ ‘Nothing. Went shopping. Tired. Wat u doin?’ ‘Trying to sleep. Friends want to go to pub tonite’ ‘Hmmm so u drink too?’ ‘Yes.  I  am  very  bad  guy  so  don’t  try  to  match  make for me’ ‘Dont worry I wont’

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I thought about what he had said about matchmaking for him. The thought somehow depressed me. *** In the evening I helped my mother-in-law pack her suitcase. Ashok came home early and handed over our tickets to India. Though we still had six days to leave, my mother-in-law was getting impatient. “When  are  you  coming?  Why  don’t  you  take  a  month  off  and  come  along with  us?  After  all  it  is  your  sister’s  wedding.  We  need  to  go  shopping.  There is so much to do,”  she cajoled. “That’s  why  I  am  not  coming  now.  You  will  just  drag  me  from  one  shop   to another. You can take your husband instead. I have already booked my ticket,” replied Ashok impatiently. “For   when?   If   not   a   month,   I   want   you   to   come   at   least   fifteen days in advance,”  she  said  decisively. “No  way.  I  am  coming  two  days  before  the  wedding,”  he  said, and when his mother tried to argue, he shut her up saying,  “I  don’t  have  any  holidays   Amma.  Not  this  month.  Not  in  the  middle  of  a  project.  So  don’t  pester  me.   You  can  take  Nithya  with  you.” Huh. Great. I am hardly the consolation prize that she wants! “If   you   both   remain   apart for more than a month how will I get a grandson?”  she  asked, voicing her main concern in life. Ashok shot an angry look towards her and she immediately acted as though it was a joke. Though I could see that she was not amused. Ashok was in the bedroom getting dressed when I entered. “I   am   going   out   tonight.   I   will   be   very   late.   I   probably   may   not   come   home tonight. If Amma gets hyper, tell her that I got a call from the office and had to go,” he said in a hushed voice.

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I nodded and he went out quietly. When I went back to the room I saw my mobile ringing. It was Vasu. “Hello”  I  said  softly “Hi!  Did  you  see  the  photos?  Nice  no?”  he  asked. “Yes.  Very  nice.  You  look great in them,”  I  said  sincerely. “So…” he said and paused. “So.  Packing  over?”  I  asked. “Yeah  almost.  What  about  you?”  he  asked. “Just  starting.  So when will you go to Chennai?”  I  asked “I have asked my travel agent to book a ticket for me in two days. Anyway I wanted to ask you something,”  he  said. “What?” “Well,   you   know   my   friend   Raghavan   right? The one who took the package  for  Divya.” “Yes..,”  I said, wondering what this was about. “Well...he  is  a  nice  guy.  He  is  a  great  guy   in  fact,  and  from  a  very  good   family.  His  father  is  a  lawyer.  His  mother  died  a  long  time  back...” Vasu seemed to be rambling. What is he trying to tell me? “Why  are  you  telling  me  about  Raghavan?”  I  asked  him, totally puzzled. “Well...  the  thing   is  that,  he  spoke  to  me  yesterday.  Apparently  he  likes   Divya a lot. They met again, after that day when they went to watch a movie with his cousin. He was wondering if you or your mother would object if he were  to  propose  marriage  to  her,”  he  said  sheepishly. My heart skipped a beat. Divya had not said anything about this to me! “Don’t  tell  me  that  you  are  matchmaking  for  her?”  I  said  with  a  smile. “Well,  I  am  not.  I  am  just  passing  on  his  message.  But  I  am  not  saying   this only because he is my friend. He really is a nice guy and if Divya likes him,  then  it  will  be  great.  I  know  he  will  keep  her  happy,”  he  said, seriously.

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My heart leaped. It sounded too good to be true. “Vasu,  if  you  are  sure  that  he  is  a  great  guy,  then  ask  him  to  go  ahead.  He   can  ask  his  father  to  meet  my  mother,”  I  said. “What  about  Divya?  Shall  I  speak  to  her?”  he  asked. “Let  me  speak  to  her  first,”  I  said. “Great.   Call   her   now   and   ask   if   she   likes   him.   If   it   is   a   ‘yes’   I   will   tell   Raghavan. I have an early flight tomorrow. So I may not be able to call you again,”  he  said  softly. I remembered that he was planning to go to a pub with his friends. I smiled   and   said,   “Oh   yes.  I   forgot.   I’ll   call   her   just   now  and   let   you   know.   And you have a good time tonight.” “Is  your  husband  around?  I  thought  I  would  say  goodbye to him too.” “No.  He  has  gone  out,”  I  almost  said  with  his  ‘friends’.  But  I  didn’t  want Vasu to latch on to it and ask more questions   so   I   said,   “to   the   office.   He   forgot  to  upload  something.” “Oh, okay.  Give  me  his  mobile  number.  I  will  call  and  say  bye  to  him,”  he   said “Yeah   sure.   I   will   SMS it   to   you,”   I   said, though I had no intention of doing anything of the sort. “Okay then.  See  you  in  Chennai.” “Yes.   Bye.   Take   care.   Have   a   safe   flight.   Call   me   once   you   reach   Chennai,”  I  said  wistfully. I was going to miss him awfully. But I was excited for Divya. If this worked out, then I would be out of this marriage sooner than I thought. I dialed Divya’s  number  and  waited  for  her  to  pick  up. “Hello!” “Divya!  Where  are  you?  At  the  office?” “Yes.”

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“I  need  to  ask  you  something?” “What?” “Do  you  like  Raghavan,  Vasu’s  friend?”  I  asked,  biting  my  lip  and  waiting   for her to answer. She  was  silent  for  a  while.  “He  is  a  nice  guy.  But  why  are  you  asking  me   this.  Did  he  speak  to  you?” “No.  He  spoke  to  Vasu.  Did  he  tell  you  anything?” “Well...I   was   planning   to   tell   you   but   I   was   not   sure what you would say...”  she  said. “What   will   I   say   idiot?   Vasu   says   Raghavan   is   a   nice   guy.   And   I   trust   Vasu’s  judgment.  And  if  you  like  him  then  everything  is  as  good  as  settled,”   I said with a smile. “But  I  just  started  working.  I  need  some  time  to  settle down before I get married...,”  she  said  hesitantly. “Divya!   We   can   work   out   all   those   details.   Don’t   worry.   I   will   tell   Vasu   that you also like his friend. What about Amma?  Shall  I  tell  her?” “Raghavan  is  coming  home  tomorrow  with  Deepa.  Let  her  meet him first and  then  I  will  tell  her,”  she  said. It   sounded   like   a   good   plan.   I   was   happy   beyond   words.   With   Anu’s   marriage  fixed  and  Divya’s  marriage  settled,  I  could  finally  look  forward  to   getting out of this mess. I quickly typed a message for Vasu. ‘Spoke  to  Divya.  She  likes  him.  He  is  meeting  mom  tomorrow’ He sent back a message immediately. ‘Great  ’ What will he say when finds out that I will be leaving my husband soon? Will he be angry? I dared not share the real reason with him. I fiddled with my mobile and read through all our messages right from the beginning.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

Suddenly my mobile rang. I checked who it was and sat upright immediately. It was my Chittappa! God! Why is he calling me now? I had studiously avoided him for three years and had spoken to him only if he called, which he did very rarely. I was not sure whether he knew the truth or not. Maybe he knew and chose to ignore it or  maybe  he  didn’t  know.  But  then,  I  kept  thinking  about  Vasu’s   reaction when he knew that it was Chittappa who had arranged my marriage. The Chittappa that he knew would never do anything unless there was something in it for him. My mobile was ringing incessantly. What if he calls the landline because I am not picking up the mobile? God! No! Then my mother-in-law would insist that I put it on speakerphone. I  answered  the  call  and  said,  “Hello.” “Hello.  Nithya  va! Enna! Eppadi erukey?” “Fine  Chittappa,”  I said slowly. “Your   mother-in-law told your Chithi that Vasu came to your house there?”  he  questioned. Aha! That’s  why  he  is  calling. He wants to know about Vasu. “Yes.   I   wanted   to   send   a   package   to   Divya   and   she   asked   her   friend   to   find if there was anyone coming back from the US. Her friend’s   friend turned   out   to   be   Vasu.   I   didn’t   know   it   was   him   until   he   came   to the apartment,”  I  said  defensively. “Oh!  What  is  that  wastrel  doing  in  the US?”  he  asked  scornfully. Oh!  Wouldn’t  I  love  telling  you  about  this? “He   came   here   because   he   has   been   awarded   the   Best   Entrepreneur   award from a well-known organization in the US  called  TIE,”  I  said  quietly. He  was  silent  while  he  digested  this  fact  about  the  ‘wastrel’. “So  that’s  the  story  he  has  given  you.  You  are  so  naïve.  You  will  believe   anybody,”  he  sneered. I closed my eyes and sighed. Some people will never change.

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69

The Perfect Groom

“No, he   didn’t   tell   me.   I   found   this   out   when   I   saw   his   photo   in   the   newspaper. If you want, I  can  scan  and  send  you  the  photo,”  I  said. “No  thanks.  I  am  not  interested.  He  is  no  relation  to  me  anyway.  But  he   is  very  clever  and  devious.  I  don’t  want  you  to  have any  contact  with  him,”   he said ominously. Clever and devious! I wanted to end the conversation before I actually told him what I really thought about him. “Chittappa, I think Ashok is back. I will call you later. Bye,”   I said hurriedly. “Okay. Don’t  keep  in  touch  with  him.  Bye.” With that parting note, I ended the call. I felt like throwing the phone on something or at someone. How  dare  he?  Why  can’t  he  accept  the  fact  that  he  was  wrong  and  that   Vasu  was  right?  Why  can’t  he  be  happy  for  Vasu  for achieving so much, all on his own? I sat brooding for a long time and then thought I would talk to my mother about Chittappa’s call. “Don’t  react  to  any  nonsense  that  he  says.  He  knows  all  about  Vasu.  He   also knows where he works and what he has achieved. He had wanted Vasu to be a failure so that he could go around and tell everybody about it. Thankfully, Vasu has forced him to eat his own words. Anyway it does not matter.  He  is  just  bitter.  Do  not  listen  to  what  he  says  and  don’t  react,”  she   said and then  added,  “You  know  what,  don’t  take  his  calls  at  all.” “I  wish  I  could.  What  if  he  calls  my  landline  and  my  mother-in-law picks up?  God!  I  really  wish  I  could  change  my  number,”  I  exclaimed. “Don’t  fret  too  much  Nithya.  Remember  he  was  also  responsible  for your marriage. But in one way, he is right. Your mother-in-law is there with you right  now.  So  it  is  probably  best,  that  you  don’t  talk  much  to  Vasu,”  she  said   patiently.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

He is also responsible for the mess that has become my life. I almost said it. I bit my tongue instead and said goodbye.

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The Perfect Groom

THIRTEEN

After Vasu  left  for  India,  I  didn’t  have  time  to  talk   to  anybody.  Ashok  was   impatient to see the back of his mom and me. On the eve of my departure, I met Diana to say goodbye. She was very happy for me when I told her that Divya might soon get married. She hugged me and asked me to take care. I missed Vasu a lot, but couldn’t  find  the time to call him the whole week. He did call me, twice on the day that he left, but I missed his calls, as they were quite late in the night. Later he called to say that he had reached India and was looking forward to my arrival. He sounded a bit disturbed though he  didn’t  say why. Two days earlier, Divya had told my mother about Raghavan and we had a long conversation over the phone about the match. The only son of a leading lawyer in Mumbai, Raghavan was also an established corporate lawyer. Excited and scared, my mother wanted a lot of reassurance about the proposal. After a lot of debate from Divya, my mother agreed to wait for six months before the engagement. And I cautioned her not to breathe a word about this to Chithi or Chittappa. Then she told me a bit of news that cheered me up considerably. Divya was finding it difficult to commute all the way to her office so my mother was considering moving out of Mylapore. They had taken Raghavan’s opinion about this when he visited them and he had offered his own vacant flat for them to use. He had successfully squashed   my   mother’s   myriad   excuses about staying in her prospective son-in-law’s   flat.   I   was   glad   and   relieved that they would be leaving Chittappa’s house soon. I did not hear from Vasu that whole week. I guess he must have been very busy after reaching India.  He  didn’t  even  send  me  an SMS or an email.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

I kept checking my phone for messages but there were none. On the eve of my departure I called him. “Hi  Vasu!” There was silence. I wondered whether he had heard me or not. “Hello!  Hello!  Vasu?” “Hi!  Sorry  I was  just  doing  something,”  he  replied. “Okay. I just called to tell you that I am flying tomorrow. Are you busy? I can  call  later,”  I  said  apologetically. “No.  No.  It’s  fine.  How  are  you?”  he  asked, distractedly. “I  am  fine.  I  just  called  to  tell  you  that  I  am leaving  tomorrow.” “So, is Ashok coming with you?” “No.  He  will  come  later.  I  am  coming  early  because  we  have  to  do  a  lot  of   shopping and planning.” “Oh!  Okay I will call you after you land then. I need to meet you. Tell me when  you  will  be  free.  I  will  come  down  to  Chennai,”  he  said  cryptically. I felt a fissure of delight go through my heart. This was just what I wanted. It would be perfect. Perhaps we could spend a full day together. “By the way, Amma met Raghavan. And once I come down, he is bringing his father to the house for a formal meeting with mom. Did he tell you?”  I  asked. “Yes. I am very happy for Divya. Raghavan is like my brother. Tell your mother, not to worry. Divya will be very happy with him. And I am happy they will be moving out Chittappa’s house soon. The sooner they move out of that place, the  better,”  he  said. “Thanks  Vasu.  Yes it would be really great. You know none of this would have  happened  if  we  hadn’t  met  accidently  here,”  I  said  gratefully. ***

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73

The Perfect Groom

The next day, we left for India. After an uneventful flight where my ears could literally have dropped off thanks to non-stop chattering from my mother-in-law, I slept like a log that night and woke up late in the morning. My mother-in-law recovered quickly and started her shopping that very evening. Since our arrival we had been shopping every day. She bought a trousseau worth five lakhs for Anu and the jewelry alone was worth one and a half crore, a fact that was advertised to every relative and friend who came by. The worst thing was that I was now meeting all the relatives who were not called for my modest wedding. They all had something to say to me. I was supposed to be the luckiest woman in the whole world; I had a handsome, well-educated husband who lived in the US, and to top it all, I got to travel in an airplane to the States! How else does one get there?! And of course, most importantly, I was so lucky to have such a lovely mother-in-law and such a caring father-in-law. My mother-in-law was ecstatic. She finally had an audience who could become her jury and I was available right there to be put on trial. Needless to say, the verdict was a foregone conclusion. They all suggested that I visit temples and do some poojas to get pregnant. Some suggested that I be taken to fertility experts like Gemini  Ganesan’s  daughter.  I sat and listened to them all, pretending that I was not there. After a week of shopping and baby talk, I finally found time to go to my mother’s  house  for  some  stress-relief. But it was depressing as well. All that she could talk about was how happy she was to see me settled and how much happier she would be if I got pregnant. She was very excited about Divya’s  marriage  but  was  uncomfortable  about  the  six-month wait and tried to  get  me  to  change  Divya’s  mind.  But  I  knew  that  Divya  had taken the right decision. She wanted to get to know Raghavan properly before getting

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married. And I completely supported her. Instead, I tried to change the subject. “So  did  you  see  Raghavan’s  apartment?  Is  it  nice?”  I  asked. “It  is  in  a  nice  area  and very  close  to  Divya’s  office.  The  apartment  itself   is very well made, with lots of cupboards. I really like it. He has two flats in the same building. He said that I could live in the one-room apartment after the marriage. That will be great. At least I will be close to Divya and can help her out,”  my mother said enthusiastically. Don’t  worry  mom,  once  I  get  divorced  we  can  live together! “So  when  are  you  moving?”  I  asked,  impatient  for  them  to  move. “Let  this  month  end.  Divya  is  going  for  a  ten-day training to Mumbai. Let her come back and then we  can  shift.” “What  was  Chittappa’s  reaction when you told him?”  I  asked  curiously. “He   didn’t   say   anything   but   your   Chithi started crying. I   felt   so   guilty,”   she said slowly. That was my  aunt   and   uncle’s favorite tactic; they knew exactly how to send someone on a guilt trip. I told her not to worry too much and to focus on packing. She was also worried about Divya going to Mumbai alone. “Amma, don’t   worry   about   Divya.   Raghavan is there and Vasu is there too. They will  take  care  of  her,”  I  said  reassuringly. “Yes.   I   talked   to   Vasu   yesterday. He said he would pick Divya up from the airport and drop her at the guesthouse. But I am still not very sure about this.” “Amma! She is going with four of her colleagues? Why are you worried? She  will  be  fine.” Soon I had to go back to my in-laws house and help out with wedding preparations once again. ***

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75

The Perfect Groom

Two days later, I came again to drop Divya at the airport. Divya was waiting for me in the foyer of her office with her luggage. She was wildly excited; this was the first time she would ever be flying. I smiled at her enthusiasm and wished wistfully that I too were going somewhere alone. We reached the airport where she met her colleagues. They were also trainees just like her. I hugged her and said goodbye. She promised to call me as soon as she reached, and waved happily as she went past security.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

FOURTEEN

“Nithya, help Ambujam mami with the vegetables and then wash all the lamps and plates that we use in the pooja room. Use the pitambari powder. And then take out the rangoli powder   for   tomorrow.” My mother-in-law had not let up since the moment I came back. “Okay.” “Another  thing,  in  my  room  you  will find five Kumaran bags with nineyard saris. You will need to soak them in turmeric powder and then dry them  out  in  the  terrace.” “Okay.” I rushed from one room to another trying to do all the work that she told me to. Thankfully, Anu came in and declared that she needed me to accompany her to the beautician. I found some respite from the whispers and the staring eyes of all the mamis gathered for the occasion. *** After half an hour, Anu and I set out. She wanted to pick up a few things, a couple of designer saris, some salwar suits and matching jewelry. After shopping, we had to go to the beauty parlor to check out her trial hairdo and make-up for D-day. I had always liked Anu. She was very different from her mother and father. She was not pretentious and had always treated me as an equal and never made me conscious of the fact that I came from a poor family.

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77

The Perfect Groom

When we returned home, my mother-in-law was in full flow. She was in the middle of the hall, surrounded by her relatives who were drooling over the jewelry bought for Anu. Ashok had also finally arrived and she was showing him off to everybody. “There   she   is.   Why   are   you   so   late?   Go   and   make   coffee   for   your   husband,”  my  mother-in-law ordered. My father-in-law was pacing in his room and talking to somebody. I went into the kitchen to make coffee while Ashok and Anu caught up. I made the coffee quickly and came back to the living room with it. My father-in-law   was   still   on   the   phone   talking,   “Please come for the function tomorrow. Yes. Ashok arrived today.  Nithya  is  here  too.  She  didn’t   call you? I am surprised.” Who is he speaking to? And whom should I have called? He came out of his room. “Nithya. You   didn’t   call   your   Chittappa after coming back? He was feeling  sad  about  it.  Poor  man!  After  all  he  has  done  for  you.” Even before I could open my mouth my mother-in-law spoke for me. “Nowadays, she has time only for shopping and getting her face made up. If she had any respect for the elders she would have listened to me and got pregnant by now. But no! There is no point in blaming her anyway. We should have been more careful. Thanks to our bad fate, we have to beg people to get pregnant now. If things continue like this, our family line is going to end  with  Ashok.  That’s  it.” I think my mother-in-law had forgotten that Ashok was here. Everybody suddenly stopped talking. “Amma! Will you stop this nonsense? I just came today and you have already  started  this  drama.” My father-in-law tried to manage the situation. “Saroja!   That’s  enough.   You will fall ill if you keep on talking about this.”

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“Ashok, you   don’t   know   anything.   She   is   doing   this   deliberately…” My mother-in-law went up to him and tugged on his sleeve pleadingly. “JUST   SHUT   UP   OKAY,” Ashok shouted. Then he turned towards his father, “IF   YOU   DON’T   STOP   THIS   NONSENSE   I   am LEAVING RIGHT NOW.” He went to his room. I followed him mutely. I could still hear dangerous muttering from my mother-in-law and the shocked mamis. “WHAT  WAS  I  THINKING?  WHY  DID  I COME HERE? GOD - I  CAN’T   WAIT  TO  GET  BACK!” He went and sat on the bed with his head in hands. There was no point in talking to him now, I knew from experience. I waited until he calmed down. “I  am  leaving  next  week.  Why  don’t  you  go  to  your  mother’s  place right after the wedding, for a break? Or else Amma is going to drive me crazy with  this  constant  baby  talk,” he said, when he was in control again. I agreed immediately. The constant harassment was wearing me down and it would great to get out of the house for a while. *** Anu’s  marriage  day  arrived and went off without a hitch. There were over two thousand guests for the reception and I was busy greeting them and ensuring that they all got the tambulam packets. Thankfully neither my father-in-law nor my mother-in-law had time before or on the day to discuss my pregnancy issues with my mother. The most difficult part of the evening came when I met my Chittappa and Chithi. And the worst part was that I had to pretend to be happy, while my Chithi blissfully trumpeted her   husband’s   triumph   in   getting   me   married into such a big house.

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79

The Perfect Groom

Ashok acted out the part of the dutiful husband perfectly. He smiled at me, took my hand in his, all the while posing for the camera. By the end of it, I was glad that Anu was Ashok’s  only  sister. I strategically took my mother to meet my mother-in-law  when  Anu’s  inlaws were around her. As expected, my mother-in-law was very gracious and enquired kindly about her new house and promised to get a groom for Divya. Of course we both knew this was nothing but an empty promise on her part. *** By night, I was dead on my feet. Ashok went straight to his room to sleep. But I was too tired to sleep, so sat in the balcony savoring the silence around me when Divya called. “Nithya. Hi!  Listen,  Can  you  come  to  Mumbai?” “Mumbai?  Why?  What  happened?” I was alarmed. “You  remember  Yasmine, my old friend. I met her here and it turns out that she is getting married this Sunday in Goa. And I really, really want to go. But Amma is not letting me, saying that Goa is not a nice place. I think she is saying no because she thinks that I might be going with Raghavan. But if you come here, just for the weekend, then I   am   sure   she   won’t   object.” “The  wedding  is  this  Sunday?” “Yes.   Tomorrow   is   Friday. So if you fly here, we can take a bus to Goa and be back  by  Sunday  night.” I thought quickly. It would be great to go to Mumbai, and I was certain Ashok would agree after his outburst the other day. Plus it would be great to get away, even for two days. “Hmm.  Okay, I will tell Amma. Just check if a ticket is available for me for tomorrow.”

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I told Ashok about the plan in the morning. As I had expected, he readily agreed and gave me money for the trip. I packed my bags and called Divya. She had already booked a ticket for me to fly to Mumbai. Knowing his parents would never agree if they knew the truth, Ashok told his parents that  I  was  going  to  my  mother’s  house.  I  called  my  mother, told her that I was coming and called a taxi to take me there. I got ready and left the house, grateful to be away from the prying eyes of Ashok’s   extended family.

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81

The Perfect Groom

FIFTEEN

I was on my way to Mumbai! I was excited and also vaguely apprehensive. The excitement stemmed from the fact that I would be seeing Vasu again, but I was uncomfortable that he would expect me to have come with Ashok. He had been strangely quiet when I told him that I would be coming to meet him in Mumbai but he promised to pick me up from the airport. The flight landed on time and I collected my suitcase and came out of the terminal, looking for Vasu. He was standing in one of the bays, scanning the crowd for me. My heart missed a beat. He looked very handsome in a sky blue t-shirt, dark blue jeans and day-old stubble. He smiled at me and waved. I walked shyly towards him. “Hi!”  I  said  smiling  up at him. He gave me a quiet smile back. “How  was  the  flight?” “It  was  good  and  on  time.” “Come,”  he  said  beckoning  towards  the  parking  lot.  He  took  my  suitcase   and wheeled it out. We got into his silver Toyota and started off for his house. I looked around with interest. I had never been to Mumbai. He just smiled at my enthusiasm. “Welcome  to  my  home!”  he said opening the door with a flourish. It was a huge penthouse on the sixteenth floor with a private terrace. I loved it. For a boy who  had  left  his  uncle’s  house  without  a  rupee  in  hand,  

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he had done really well for himself. He showed me around the house and I noticed  that  there  weren’t  any  photographs displayed anywhere. “You  don’t  have your parents’ photos?”  I  asked. He  winced  and  said,   “No.  I  would  have   to  ask   Chittappa for them, so I never…” “Don’t  worry.  I  think  my  mother  has  some  of  your  things.  I  will  ask  her   to search and send them across if she finds any.” “That  would  be  great.  Thanks.” We moved to the balcony. I loved the view and I stood there for a while. “Here, have  some  tea,”  he  said, coming up behind me. I turned around and saw that he was holding two mugs of steaming hot tea. I smiled at him. The tea was lovely. “You  make  a  nice  cup  of  tea,”  I  complimented  him. “Thanks,”  he  said  seriously. I looked at him and found him staring at me with troubled eyes. “What  happened?  Why  are  you  so  worried?”  I  asked, a little afraid. He ran a hand through his hair and sat down. He didn’t say anything for a while and I didn’t  know  what  to  make  of  it,  or  of  him. “Nithu, I  don’t  know  how  to  say  this,”  he  said, looking at me helplessly. “Vasu, what  is  wrong?” I was worried now. “Nithya, there is something that you should know,”   he   said   slowly, choosing his words carefully. I  froze.  “Vasu!  What  is  it?” I waited on tenterhooks while Vasu seemed to be steeling himself to say whatever he had to say. “When  I  was  in  the  States,  remember  I  told  you  that  I  would  be  going  out   with friends on my last day there…” www.indireads.com

83

The Perfect Groom

“Yes…” “Well  we  were  bar  hopping  that night, and one of the guys wanted to go to a particular bar. It was a gay bar. I didn’t   know   it at first…and   then…I don’t   know   how   to   tell   you   this,”   he   paused,   “Nithya   I saw your husband there, with another man.” “Actually  Ashok  has  many  friends  and  he  occasionally  goes  to  bars  with   them.   He   doesn’t   drink   much   Vasu.   So   no   need   to   worry,”   I   said   desperately, trying to salvage the situation. “Nithya!  If  it  were  just  drinking, I  wouldn’t  even  be  mentioning  it  to you. I  also  drink  occasionally.  You  are  too  innocent.  You  don’t  know.”  Suddenly   something occurred to him and he crashed his fist down, “God!  That’s  why   that  bastard  got  you  married  to  him.  He  must  have  known.” I kept silent. I was horrified. I never thought that he would find out about this. I closed my eyes and hoped this would go away. I opened my eyes to see Vasu staring intently at me. “You  know  about  him  don’t  you?” he sounded unbelieving. Tears welled up in my eyes and coursed down my cheeks. With my heart pounding wildly, I nodded. “Oh  Nithya!  I  am  so sorry.  How  long  have  you  known?”  he said, standing up and taking my hand in his. “After  I  went  to  the States,”  I  said, biting my lip. “And  no  one  in  your  family  knows about  this?”  he  asked  gently. “No!  And  please  don’t  tell  Divya  or  my  mother,”  I  implored him. “So you have been pretending that you are happily married for the past three  years.  Do  his  parents  know?”  he  questioned. “His  father  knows.  His  mother  doesn’t,”  I  said  softly. “His   father  knew? He must have told our uncle about his son and they both must have decided to sacrifice your life. I have never known a bigger bastard  than  our  uncle,”  he  said  bitterly.

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We were silent for some time. I wiped my tears and waited for him to speak. “I  want  to  talk  to  Ashok.  Where  is  he?” “Why  Vasu?  Just  leave  it.” “That’s  why  you  didn’t  give  me  his  number?  How  did  you  find out that he is  gay?  Did  he  tell  you  himself?”  he  said  probing  further. “Yes,”  I  said  closing  my  eyes. If I had known that Vasu had guessed the truth, I would never have come to visit him. “How  very  straightforward of him!  Bastard!” Vasu let out a string of abuse words that I had never heard before. I didn’t  know  what  to  say to him so I closed my eyes to shut out whatever was happening. I didn’t  want  to  explain  anything  to  him.  I   was so ashamed. It was so difficult to admit that my husband was gay, that we had no relationship and an empty marriage. “Tell  me  everything,”  he  said  forcefully. There was no point in hiding anything now. Red with shame, I began my story, one that only Diana knew. “Ashok  left  for  the US three days after our marriage. Within a month my visa was approved but Ashok asked me to stay back for one more month to attend Jayashree’s  wedding.  After  that, I joined him. When he picked me up at the airport I could see that he was not very happy to see me. When he brought me home I learnt that a man called Sunil was staying with him. He told me Sunil was his roommate.”  I  took  a  deep  breath. “You must have seen him with Sunil in the bar. Sunil is his sweetheart, partner and soul-mate. That first evening, when I woke up there was no one at home. They both came back late in the evening. Ashok was totally drunk and Sunil was trying to take him to the bedroom. Ashok made me sit down on the sofa and told me the truth. He hates women - finds them nauseating. He told me that he loved Sunil   and   that   Sunil   was   his   wife.   I   couldn’t  

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believe it at first. Of course I knew of homosexuals, but I never thought I would end up married to one.” Every little detail of that horrible night came back to me. I had never shared these details, with anyone, not even Diana. Vasu came and sat next to me and held me in his arms. I turned my head into his chest and sobbed. I had held back for so long, now the floodgates were open. After some time, Vasu released me, dried my tears and got some water for me. “And  then?” “I   just   ran   and   hid   in   the   bathroom.   I   thought   it   was   a   horrible   nightmare. Sunil persuaded me to come out and talk to Ashok the next day. Ashok said that he hadn’t   wanted to marry me but his father forced him. His mother is a heart patient and his father didn’t  want  to  disappoint  her.” “This  Sunil?  He  also  lives  there with the two of you?”  Vasu asked. “Yes. But when my mother-in-law comes to the US, he moves out,”  I  said   wiping my face. “But   before that, Ashok, Sunil and you live all together in the same apartment!” he asked gently. I gave a little laugh. “Yes.  After  all, Sunil  is  his  real  wife.” “Why  didn’t  you  leave  him?  Did  you  think  that  he  would  ever change?” “No.   I   never   thought   that   there   was   any possibility of that. I stayed because  I  couldn’t  tell  all  of this to my mother. She was so happy that I got married. You know our circumstances. How could I tell her that I was not happy, that my husband likes another man? Ashok also had the same problem. He wanted me to stay with him until his sister got married. So we both came to an agreement that we would stay married until both our sisters were married and I promised him that I would not say anything to his mother or to anybody  else.” The anger was apparent on his face.

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“Wow!   And   you   agreed   to   this.   Do   you   have   any   brains?   How   can   you   possibly live with a gay husband and his  lover?”  he  asked angrily. “I  didn’t  have  much  choice Vasu. It was either that or  come  back  home,”   I said, looking down at my hands. “Then   you   should   have   come   back   home.   I   have   nothing   against   homosexuals. I know many decent guys who live openly with their partners. And  that  requires  a  lot  of  courage.  Ashok  is  a  coward,” declared Vasu. We were silent for a while. “You  are  not  used  to  that  kind  of  life.” “I   am   now,”   I   replied   quietly. “Actually   I   don’t   mind   Sunil.   He   has   actually been very nice to me. And he was against our marriage from the beginning.” “Listen Vasu! My life is not totally  unbearable.  It  is  true  that  I  don’t  have   a normal family life but it could have been worse. What if Ashok had pretended that he was straight while having an affair with Sunil on the side? At least he was honest enough to tell me that he is gay. Some women find out that their husbands are gay after years of marriage and children. At least  he  spared  me  that.” “He   had   no   business   marrying   you   when   he   knew   that   he   was   gay.   He   had  no  business  ruining  your  life  in  this  way.  I  don’t  care  if  his  mother  was   dying. If he were honest, he would have told his mother and avoided this marriage.   So   don’t   defend   him.” And with that, he walked into the apartment, leaving me alone on the balcony.

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SIXTEEN

We were quiet for a while. I was exhausted. Lunch was forgotten.  I  didn’t   have the energy to make anything and neither of us had much appetite. I just sat there wondering what he would say next. “Why  didn’t  you  tell me?”  he  asked. I looked up at him. He seemed more curious than angry. “I  met  you  after  ten years and you wanted me to confide in you?” He was silent for a while. “So  what  next?” “What  do  you  mean?”  I  asked. “You  know  what  I  mean.  What  are  you  going  to  do  next?  Ashok’s  sister   got married last week. Divya will soon get settled with Raghavan. Just divorce him.  No  one  is  going  to  fault  you,  once  they  know  the  truth.” “No!  I  can’t  expose  him  until  he  is  ready  to  come  out  on  his  own,”  I  said   firmly. He stared hard at me. “Vasu!  What  is  it?”  I  asked. “I  still  can’t  believe  it.” “Believe  what?” “When  I  first  saw Ashok with that guy, I thought that he was cheating on you. I called you that night from the airport,  but  I  was  glad  you  didn’t  pick   up the phone. I was shocked. Then you said you were coming to India. So I thought  that  I  would  tell  you  here…but I never thought, not even once, that

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you knew the truth. You know I wanted to meet your mother as soon as I returned her, but after discovering this, I was not sure if I could...I wanted to talk to you first...”  he  said in a quiet voice. I  didn’t  know  what  to  say. Just then his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket. It was Divya. “Hello!” “Anna!  Did  you  pick  up  Nithya?” “Yes.  She  is  here.” “There  is   a  crisis   here.  I  don’t  think   I  can  come   back   to  the  guesthouse   tonight. The project that I was working on has some complications. The entire team is staying back to work on it. I have to finish this today, only then can I go to Goa tomorrow. Explain it to Nithya please. I will try to come back as soon as I can.  Bye.” Vasu  looked  up  and  said,  “Divya  says  that  she  is busy and will be coming in  late  tonight.” “Oh!  Okay. Can I stay here till then? I  don’t  want  to  go  to  the  guesthouse without  her.” “Of  course,”  Vasu  said.  Then  he  asked,  “Are you hungry?” “Not  much.  Just  a  little.” He searched for something in the table drawer, then took out a Domino’s menu and gave it to me. “Order   anything   - it’s fine   with   me,”   I   said   handing   the   menu   back. I went to the drawing room and sank into the sofa. He dialed, placed the order and then came to sit next to me. “I  want  to  meet  Ashok,”  he  said. “Why?”  I  asked. “Why  not?  Don’t  you  think  someone  should  ask  him  why  he  did  this  to   you?”

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“It  is  no  use  doing  it  now  anyway  Vasu.  What’s  the  point?  He  is  what  he   is.  And  he  truly  loves  Sunil  and  Sunil  loves  him  too,”  I  replied  softly. “Yes.  I can  see  that.  But  what  I  don’t  see  is why you need to be with him. You have your whole   life   ahead   of   you.   You   don’t   have   to   stay in this relationship,”  he  said, looking deeply into my eyes. “It  is  not  a  relationship  Vasu.  We  just  live  in  the  same  house - that’s  all. He barely tolerates me. At the same time he gives me the freedom to do whatever  I  want.  And  yes  he  gives  me  money  to  spend  too,”  I  said  looking   down. “And  you  are  happy?”  he asked incredulously. “No  I  am  not.  But  it  could  have  been  worse  than  this.” “Comparing your situation with worse situations is not going to make you happy Nithya. When you have a problem you need to resolve it rather than  wallow  in  it,”  he  said  seriously. “Vasu, I am not wallowing in anything. I found myself in an impossible situation and I made the best of it. Yes I am still living with my gay husband and his partner. But to some degree I am independent. I need Divya to get settled, before getting out of this marriage. And she will get married soon. Until  then,  I  don’t  want to rock the boat.” Before Vasu could answer, the doorbell rang. Our pizza was here. He paid for it and placed it on the table. “How  come  they came so quickly?” “Domino’s is just two buildings away, and I am a regular customer. Come  let’s  eat.” I felt guilty. If he had not brought up this topic I would have cooked the lunch that he had so craved. “I  am  sorry,”  I  apologized. “For  what?”  he  said  tucking  into  his  pizza. “I  was  supposed  to  cook  lunch for you today.  I  had  promised  you,”  I  said   apologetically. 90

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“Don’t  worry  I  will  hold  you  to  it.  You  will  have  to  come  here  and  cook   for  me,  one  day.” It was dark by the time we finished the pizza. He cleared the table, while I strolled onto the balcony to see the evening view. After a while, he joined me. He was agitated…I felt touched and moved. And in some ways I felt as if a great burden had lifted off my shoulders. He kept looking at me with worried eyes and I literally drowned in them. I suddenly felt embarrassed and also very aware of him. We stood and watched the traffic trickle by for a long time. “I  am  sorry,”  he  said, breaking the silence. “For  what?”  I  asked. He turned around and took my hands in his. A jolt of pleasure went right to my breasts and I felt breathless. I looked up and met his eyes. “I  shouldn’t  have  left  you  and  come  here.   Chittappa actually wanted us to get married. I should have stayed back. Then at least, you wouldn’t  have been in  this  mess,”  he  said  softly. “Vasu!   How   can   you   think   like   this?   You   left   because   you   wanted   to   pursue your dream. You wanted to study further. And look at, what you achieved because you left. How can you feel guilty about me? You were not responsible  for  me.” “No, but maybe  I  should  have  stayed  back…” “Then  you  would  have  become  a  vadiyar!”  I  said  lightly. “I   don’t   mind.   At   least   you   would   have   been   mine,”   he   said, looking straight into my eyes. I  don’t  know  how  long  we  looked  at  each  other.  It  could  have  been  a  few minutes or half an hour. Slowly he raised his hand and touched my cheek. I closed my eyes and a tear slid down. “I   love   you.   I   don’t   know   how   or   when   this   happened   but   it   has,”   he   whispered.

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‘I  love  you.’  I  can’t  believe  he  said  that. I opened my eyes and looked at him, and realized what sheer joy it is to look at someone who truly loves you. “I love  you  too.  And  I  can’t  remember  since  when,”  I  whispered. I   don’t   remember   how   it   happened, but the next minute I was in his arms. He held me tight and I put my head on his chest and closed my eyes. Without releasing his hold, he placed a kiss on my neck. I felt a tingle go through me from head to toe. I looked up and drowned in his gaze. His hands caressed me tenderly and he placed tiny little kisses on my forehead, my cheeks and then finally on my lips. “I  love  you,”  he  whispered  through  his  kisses. He loves me!  I  don’t  know  why  I  started  crying, especially when I was so happy. “I  love  you  too,”  I  said. He hugged me tightly, all the while kissing my tears away tenderly. It felt surreal. Things like this did not happen to me, they happened to other people, more fortunate than I. And yet, here I was, held close by a man who loved me. I ran my fingers through his hair while he kissed every inch of my neck. Suddenly he stopped, and looked into my eyes. “I  want  you.” The words were soft and urgent. He was waiting for my answer. If I said yes I would be crossing a threshold that I had never crossed before, but I did not care. Looking right back at him I told him,  “I  want  you  too.” Things proceeded fast from that point. He bent down, picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. It was big and neat, with a huge king sized bed. He laid me down gently and undressed me slowly all the while kissing me all  over.  A  slow  urgency  was  building  up  in  me  and  I  couldn’t  wait  until  he   joined me on the bed. For a moment I felt self-conscious and shy as he stood and stripped hurriedly. But then we were gripped by a primeval need

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to touch and explore each other with an urgency that left us breathless. I cried softly as my sensitivity peaked when he touched my breasts almost reverently and kissed them gently. Nothing that we did seemed wrong. It was sheer heaven when he came into me. I was edgy and tense but I wanted him as badly as he wanted me. When we found our rhythm, I knew then that we were made for each other. We looked into each  other’s  eyes  as  we   came to the peak of our pleasure and afterwards we lay together, stroking each other tenderly. So this is how it was between a man and a woman. He held me gently as I dozed off. I woke up again and found him nuzzling my neck while he gently touched my breasts. I smiled and put my arms around his neck. This time we made slow gentle love, taking our time to savor the moment. I forgot everything and everyone else. *** In the middle of the night I got up suddenly. Vasu was dozing with his hand on my breast. I woke him up gently. “What time is it?” Both our mobiles were in the living room. Vasu switched on the bedside light while I tried to hide under the covers. “It’s past midnight.” “I  should  call  Divya,  she’ll  be  worried.” “No.  She  is  going  to  be  back late anyway. We can tell her that you stayed back  here.”  He  switched  off  the  light, got back under the cover and took me in his arms. It was warm and safe, and I let go of all worries and relaxed in his embrace. Exhausted and fulfilled, we  slept  in  each  other’s  arms. Vasu’s  alarm  woke   us both up at seven in the morning. As he switched it off, I finally looked

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around the room. Our clothes were strewn near the bed and my thali lay near my clothes. He had taken it off along with my clothes. “Can   you   get   my   clothes?”   I   asked   him.   I   felt   shy   and   self-conscious though  we  had  spent  half  the  night  exploring  each  other’s  bodies. He smiled at me and kissed my nose. We dressed slowly taking our time and almost went back to bed. But Divya and I were leaving for Goa at ten, and I had to go to her guesthouse and get ready. I was tempted to call and tell her to go by herself, but then realized it would raise too many questions. A cool, gentle breeze blew my hair around as I stood on the balcony. Vasu came from behind and hugged me. “Don’t  go.  Stay  here,”  he  whispered. “I  can’t.  You know I came here to go with Divya to her  friend’s  wedding,”   I whispered back. “Don’t   go   back   to   Chennai.   Stay   here   with   me,”   he   said   kissing   my   fingers. “Are  you  serious?” “Yes.  I  want  you  to  divorce  him  as  soon  as  possible, and then we can get married,”  he  said, with a finality that made me panic. “It  is  not  that  simple  Vasu!” “Why  not?  I  don’t  see  any  reason  for  you  to  wait  anymore.” “I   can’t   do   this   to   my   mother, Vasu. She is so happy after so many miserable  years…”  I  argued. “That’s  a  stupid  argument, Nithya. You are just delaying telling her the truth and in the process you are making yourself unhappy. You have to listen to me. You are going back home and getting a divorce from your husband,”  he said, getting angry. For a moment he looked just like Chittappa when he said that.

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I looked at him  and  said,  “Vasu,  No  one  asked  me  what  I  wanted  when  I   married Ashok but I want to decide my divorce at least, on my own terms and  in  my  own  time.” “Yes   you   can   decide,   but   I   want   you   to   do   it   now,”   he   said   stubbornly, holding my shoulders. “You  are  telling me that I have the right to decide and yet you are forcing me  to  do  it  now,”  I  argued. “You  don’t  understand.  You  are  mine  and  I  can’t  stand  it  when  you  wear   Ashok’s   thali.   I   can’t   stand   the   fact   that   you   are   going   back   to   his   house. You will be sharing   his   room   as   well.   I   can’t   bear   the   fact   that   everybody   thinks that you are his wife, while you are really mine. You are mine and I want  you  with  me,”  he  said  passionately. “Vasu  give  me  some  time...” “No   Nithya!   I  made  you  mine  yesterday.  We  slept  together in the same bed as husband and wife. I want to marry you and live with you. Divorce him  and  come  with  me,”  he  said  in an authoritative tone that annoyed me. “I  will  need  some  time, Vasu, to think this through. It is getting late and I have to go to Goa. Take me to the guesthouse please. Let’s discuss this later.” He looked so crestfallen and disappointed that I almost gave in and almost said,   “Yes   I   will   divorce   him.”   But something inside me, emerging after years of suppression, held me back. He left me on the balcony and went into the bathroom. I felt tired and beaten. Why did we have to argue about my blasted marriage? Why couldn’t we be happy for now and forget that I was ever married? Vasu came out of the bathroom and left the room without looking at me. “Vasu!  Please  don’t  be  angry  with  me.” He looked back and stared at me.

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“What   do   you   want   me   to   do   Nithya?   Treat   this   like   a   casual   affair? I can’t  do  that.  I  love  you  too  much.  You  are  the  first  and  the  last  woman  that   I have slept with. Do you even realize what we have done? What are you going   to   do   if   you   get   pregnant?   Will   you   go   back   to   Ashok’s   parents   and   pretend that the child is  your  husband’s?” Tears poured down my cheeks. “How  can  you  say  something  like  that?  Do  you  really  think  that  I  would do  something  like  that?” “What  else  do  you  want  me  to  think?  You  want  to  stay  married  to  Ashok.   And   I   don’t   know where   I   figure   in   the   scheme   of   things.   I   don’t   know   whether  last  night  meant  anything  to  you  or  not,”  he  replied  angrily. “Vasu!  Stop  it.  Enough,”  I  shouted  back. “Why  should  I  stop  it?  What  do  you  want  me  to  think  then?”  he  asked, his eyes flashing with anger. I took his hands in mine. “I   love   you.   I   didn’t   know   when   and   how   it   happened.   Or   maybe   I   was   always  in  love  with  you.  I  wouldn’t  have given myself to you if I didn’t love you. Please believe me, Vasu,”  I  said, sobbing now. “I  can’t.  Not unless you agree to divorce him. Please say you will Nithya. Ashok  is  not  man  enough  for  you.” I could feel the revulsion he felt for Ashok. “Vasu!  Please  don’t  talk  about  Ashok  like  that.  He  may  not...” “Why  not?  I  don’t  think  I  am  wrong.  You  love  me.  I  love  you.  So  what  is   wrong  if  we  get  married?” “I  will.  Just  give  me  time, okay? Either way, you  can’t  expect  me  to  marry   you today. I am already married.” “You   are   being   evasive. I think you are just using your mother as an excuse.  You  don’t  want  to  get  out  of  the  marriage.  You  want  to  stay  married   to  him,”  he  said  bitterly  and  dropped my hand.

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“That’s  ridiculous, Vasu,”  I  said  angrily. “Is  it?  Your  mother-in-law wants a grandchild. Are you hoping that you might  have  conceived  yesterday?”  he  asked  aggressively. How can he love so passionately and yet talk such rubbish? “I   can   ask   you   the   same   question   Vasu.   You   said   yesterday,   that   you   loved me. But I don’t  think  you  do.  I  think  you  like  the  idea  of  rescuing  me.   And last night, you just wanted to show me exactly what a man should be like in bed. I admit it is  something  that  I  can’t  get  from  my  husband,”  I  said   bitterly. He stared at me quietly. “Perfect. I think we understand each other very well  now.” We   didn’t   talk   after   that.   He   dropped   me   at   Divya’s   guesthouse   and   waited in the car until I went inside. Divya was sleeping when I entered the room,  which  gave  me  some  respite.  I  didn’t  want  to think about anything. Totally drained I lay down next to Divya and held myself tightly, willing myself not to cry. *** I  don’t  know  when  I  dozed  off.  The next thing I knew was that Divya was shaking me. “Hey  get   up.   We   have   to   leave. How  was   Vasu’s   place?  Swanky? Thank god you had some place to stay or else you would have been bored staying here by yourself. I  thought  we   could  go  to  Raghavan’s  house  after  coming   back from Goa but Raghavan and his father are in Chennai for some case. I guess they will come home...” I half listened to her conversation and spaced out for a while. Too many things had happened and I needed some perspective. I had half a mind to tell Divya everything, but she was too innocent to be embroiled in the mess that I was in.

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I went in for a quick wash. I could smell Vasu on my clothes and on myself too. There were numerous love bites and my breasts felt full and slightly sore. “Nithya!  Hurry  up  we  will  miss  the  bus.” Divya was on the laptop when I was getting dressed. Thankfully she did not ask too many questions.

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Sumeetha Manikandan

SEVENTEEN

All that day, Vasu did not call and neither did I. I was hoping that he would, and checked my phone every two minutes, but there was nothing. At the wedding reception Divya was thankfully busy with her friend, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I barely knew what I was doing or what I said. We took the late night bus back to Mumbai and arrived in the wee hours of the morning. I had not slept properly for two days and it was talking a toll on me. I slept for six hours straight that morning and when I woke, I found out that Vasu had come by and had met Divya. I  didn’t  know  what  to  do.  I  had  an  evening  flight  to  catch and tried to call him  but  he  didn’t  pick  up  the  phone.  He  just  sent   Divya a message saying that he was in a meeting and that he had arranged for someone to take me to the airport. I was desolate and desperate. I wanted to meet him and ask him to hold me one last time. But there was no way of getting through to him. I packed my bag and left in the car he had arranged for me. I called him one last time from the airport. The phone kept ringing but he  didn’t  pick it up. I was so disturbed that I almost missed my flight. Who knew that a sudden trip to Mumbai would change my life like this? By the time I reached Chennai, I had resolved on a plan of action. I would need to take Divya into confidence and tell her the truth about my marriage to Ashok. After that, we could decide when and how to tell my mother. Depending on my mother’s  reaction,  I would decide on the next course of action.

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I barely noticed that the flight had landed. I got a call from my father-inlaw, just as I was boarding the airport bus. “Hello   Nithya. Enna! Are   you   at   home?”   he asked with his customary rudeness. “No, but I am on my way there,”  I replied cautiously. “Okay. Your mother-in-law and I want to see you, and we thought we would  come  to  your  house,”  he  said. Oh! For what? “When  will you come?”  I  enquired. “We  were  thinking  that  we  will come  tomorrow,”  he  said, with a trace of annoyance. If you are so annoyed then why come all the way to see me? “I  will  talk  to  mom  and  call  you,”  I  said  finally. “Okay,”  he  said  and  put  the  phone  down. I found myself depressed just looking at Chennai airport. What would happen if I bought a ticket and went back to Mumbai to make up with Vasu? Back to Vasu! I sat in a cab and closed my eyes, holding onto the thought, wishing it were that simple. *** At home, my mother was more concerned about Divya. She wanted to know everything; where she was staying, what she was eating, and whether she was safe. I answered her as best as I could. She was afraid that Divya might spoil her reputation by roaming around alone with Raghavan. She was relieved when I told her that Raghavan and his father were in Chennai and would come to meet us soon. Divya called, and I gave the phone to my mother who seemed satisfied after a second round of questioning. She handed the phone back to me.

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“Anything  else?”  I  asked  Divya. “Yes.  Listen,  it  is  going  to  take  me  another  four  days  to  come  back.  And   since you are there, I was wondering if you could help with the move. The apartment is ready for occupation, so all we need to do is move our belongings. It is not as if we have a lot of furniture or anything anyway. Raghavan is there, and he said that he would make the arrangements,”  she   said reasonably. Great! The sooner we move out of Chittappa’s   house,   the   sooner   I   can   move out of this marriage. “That’s  a  good  idea  Divya.  I  will  ask Amma!” My mother was not very enthusiastic initially, but when Divya said that she would not be able to take time off from work and asked her to move while Raghavan was there to settle her, she agreed to check whether there was any auspicious date available for moving. “Day  after  tomorrow  is  a  good  day,”  I  volunteered. “That’s  great.  So  you  help  Amma to shift and I will take care of the rest after  I  come  back,” Divya agreed. But my mother was a bit hesitant to take my help. What would my inlaws say? What would Ashok say? I ignored her arguments and started planning the move. It seemed like a good omen to me. We decided to go to the apartment and check out whether it had been cleaned or not. I called my father-in-law and told him that we were moving house and that he could visit after   a   week.   He   didn’t   seem   too   happy   about   it, but I didn’t  care.

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The Perfect Groom

EIGHTEEN

Moving out of the house was easy but managing the emotional drama triggered by the move was very difficult. My uncle and aunt tried everything to stop us from going. He even offered to repair and re-roof the house. But I was adamant. There was no way I could stay in the marriage that he had contracted for me while my mother and sister lived off his charity. Apart from the drama, I was very happy with the new apartment. It was airy, with lots of windows and cupboards and good neighbors for my mother to socialize with. It took us just one trip to move all our worldly possessions from the old house to the new one. Raghavan came with his father and helped us get settled. Unassuming and helpful, they made us feel very comfortable in their house. Vasu was right; Divya was going to be very happy with them after the marriage. My mother was busy settling into her new house. I had put out the threadbare sofa and the old beds for sale and the house looked bare without any furniture, so I went out and bought a new sofa set and two new beds. My mother raised a storm of objections when she found out that I had bought the furniture, but I ignored her and felt good about being able to do this for her. I also kept busy and tried not to think about Vasu, but he was never far from my thoughts. I often replayed our time together, his voice, his touch... each memory stood out vividly. ***

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“Your   in-laws   are   coming   here   tomorrow,”   my   mother   said a few days later, giving me a rude shock. What!?! “They  called?” “No. I called your mother-in-law and told her that we have moved to this house. They are both going to be in this part of town tomorrow and want to take  you  shopping,”  she  said, smiling happily. I felt really uneasy now. What shopping? And why with me? The next day, my mother was cooking, hoping my in-laws would eat here. They came. My mother-in-law pursed her lips and examined the house. My father-in-law sat in one corner and kept looking around. Fortunately the sofa set that I had ordered had been delivered time, so they had a place to sit when they came. They both agreed to have coffee at our house. “Why   would   anyone   leave   Mylapore and   come   to   Velachery?   I   can’t   understand that logic Mami. Now here, you will have to pay advance and rent. And they will increase the rent every year. Do you really think you can afford it? You could have stayed  there.” My father-in-law came to the point directly. I bit my lip and stayed silent. “Nithya, get  ready.  We  are  going  out.  We  want  you  to  come  along,”  said   my father-in-law. “Where  are  we  going?”  I  asked  suspiciously. He smiled. “It’s  a  surprise.” That didn’t   reassure   me   in   any   way.   I   fetched my handbag and we left. My mother watched me leave from the balcony. My uneasiness increased when I heard my father-in-law calling Ashok and telling him to come to an address. Where were we going? And what was happening?

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The Perfect Groom

Things   became   clear   very   soon.   The   car   stopped   at   ‘Devaki   Infertility   Clinic’   and   my   mother-in-law hustled me out of the car. My father-in-law didn’t  look  at  me,  when  I  tried  to  meet  his  eyes. “Come.  My  friend’s  daughter-in-law is the doctor here,” said my motherin-law imperiously. “No!  I  don’t  think  I  want  to be here.  Why  didn’t  you  tell  me  that  you  are   bringing me here?” “Why   are   we   talking   in   the   middle   of   the   road?   Let   us   go   inside   and   discuss,”  my  father-in-law said in a reasonable voice, leading me inside. We sat in the reception area, while my mother-in-law went to talk to her friend. “Listen!  Please  do  this  for  Saroja’s  sake.  Any  mother  would  want  to  hold   her grandson or granddaughter in her arms. For her sake, at least just get yourself checked  out.  Nothing  more,”  he implored. I looked at him incredulously. A nurse came by and took me inside ushering me into a waiting room. She gave me a form to fill, which asked me for details about my sex life and monthly cycle. I filled the form distractedly. I had already decided what I was going to tell the doctor if she wanted to examine me. Next minute, my mother-in-law came in and took the form from me. She made irritated noises as she read my answers. Finally the doctor came in. She was young in her late thirties. “Hello  Anjali.  How  are  you?  This is Nithya, my daughter-in-law.” “Hello  Nithya,”  she  greeted  me pleasantly. I nodded mutely. “She  and  my  son have been married for almost three years now. But still, there is no child. I know for sure she has some problem or the other. Please do a complete check-up,”  my  mother-in-law said bitterly. The doctor looked shocked. Maybe she had not met outspoken females like my mother-in-law.

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“I  will  see  what  I  can  do,”  she  said  and  took  the  form from her. “Nithya, you will have to undergo a couple of preliminary tests. I will write them all for you. The results will come through by next week and then you can come back and see  me,”  she  said  gently, looking at me. “Aunty,   I   will   need   to   see   your   son   also.   He   needs   to   go through some tests as well,”  she  said  firmly, writing down the tests. “My   son   is   in   perfect   health.   I   don’t   think   there   is   any   problem   with   him,”  my mother-in-law claimed loftily. “No, I am sure there is no problem. But I would still need to check. It is standard  procedure,” replied the doctor evenly. I could sense my mother-in-law’s  blood  pressure  rising. “Why   don’t   you   check   her?   She   is   the   root   of   all   troubles.   She   is   the   reason   why   I   am   not   becoming   a   grandmother,”   she   said, looking at me venomously. “Aunty, don’t  worry.  We  will  get  her  pregnant  somehow,”  the doctor said pacifyingly, and looked at me with pity. I  couldn’t  bear  any more. I got up and left the office.  I  didn’t  know  where   I was going but I managed to find the exit and walk out of the clinic. I stopped at the entrance, to see my father-in-law standing there with a furious Ashok. Ashok looked at me angrily and barked,  “What  happened?  Did  they  test   you?” “No,”  I  said  shortly. “I  am  not  going  to  go  in  there  for  any  test  Appa. So you can bloody well forget  the  idea,”  he  said, turning his back on his father and walking to the car he came in. I stood there for a moment, and then ran after him. “Ashok!  We  need  to  talk,”  I  said. “Come  with  me,”  he  said  and  I  got  into  the  car  with  him.

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105

The Perfect Groom

He put the car in reverse and backed out savagely. “What  do I do  now,  Ashok?”  I  asked  him. “Whatever you want to do. Stay married to me and live in the States or stay  married  and  live  in  India  or  get  divorced  and  stay  anywhere.  It’s  up  to   you. Frankly I have had enough of this nonsense. I know we had an agreement. I can wait if you want to get divorced after your sister gets married  but  is  it  worth  it?”  he  asked driving smoothly on the almost empty Adyar bridge. “Do  you  know  what  my  old  man’s  plan  is?”  he  went  on.  “He wants you to go for in-vitro treatment and conceive through artificial means with my sperm. After that he is planning to take the child and raise it, on his own or some  shit!” He  hit  the  steering  wheel  with  his  hand.  “I think it is dangerous to come to India.” I agreed. What sort of a crazy plan had my father-in-law cooked up and to what lengths would he go to secure a grandchild. Ashok turned and looked at me. “You are very quiet. What do you think we should do  now?”  he  asked. “I   want   a   divorce,”   I   said   and   was jolted forward as Ashok stopped the car suddenly, in the middle of the road.

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NINETEEN

Getting a divorce is definitely easier than getting married. Ashok and I ended up in a  lawyer’s  office  in  Royapettah. After hearing our request, the lawyer gave us some general gyan about the merits of staying married, until Ashok  finally  cracked  and  said  forcefully,  ‘NO!  We  want  a  divorce.” The rest of the proceedings were easy. We signed the application in triplicate and the lawyer promised to stay in touch with us. Oddly enough, Ashok became very amiable after that. He took me out for cup of coffee to discuss things. I felt strangely calm, yet  fragile.  I  didn’t  know  what  was  going  to  happen   next, but I knew that I had taken the right decision. “I   will   make   a   one-time   settlement   after   the   divorce,”   Ashok said over coffee. “That’s  okay, Ashok. I have enough money right now. I will get a job and soon I will be out of your life.” I  didn’t  care  about  a  settlement;;  I  couldn’t   believe this was actually happening; that soon - I would be free. “Yes, I know. But look, I know, I have been an ass. I should never have married you at all. I admit I have behaved very badly with you. You became my punching bag for all my frustration with my parents. I am really sorry for all the pain I caused. I really am. And I think I need to apologize to you, on behalf of my parents too. My father manipulated you, with the help of your uncle of course, and  totally  screwed  your  life,”  he  said  slowly. I knew how difficult it was for him to admit this. He had always acted as if I had got married to him deliberately.

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107

The Perfect Groom

“Sunil  always told me what a decent, nice girl you are. I knew that he was right but something within me was wrong. I felt trapped and took out my anger on you. I know you  don’t  want  my  money.  You  have  never  asked  for   anything. But I will feel a lot less guilty about everything, if you take the settlement. Please!” I could see he really meant it. “I  will  think  about  it,”  I  replied slowly. “Please  do.  You  will  need  money to start your life again anyway. I hope you   are   able   to   put   these   three   years   behind   you   and   start   a   new   life,”   he   continued sincerely. “What’s  got  into  you  Ashok?  I  can’t  believe  that  you  are  talking  like  this,”   I said teasingly and smiled at him. He smiled back. “I   am   just   happy.   I   think   we   took   the   right   decision   today.” “What  will  your  father  say?” “Frankly  I  don’t  care  what  he  says.  I  am  going  back  home  tomorrow,”  he   said with a carefree smile. “Oh!  Okay.” “I  hope  you  will  be  fine.  Will  you  tell  your  mother?”  he  asked. “I  will  have  to  tell  her, one way or another. Divya is back tomorrow. I will talk to her first and then, we can talk to her together,”  I  said. What would her reaction be? “Will  you  tell  her  about  me?”  he  asked  me  slowly. “You  don’t  want  me  to?”  I  was  not  sure  what  he  was  asking. “Maybe  you  can  tell  her  that  I  am  having  an  affair  with  another  girl.  That   way,  at  least  my  mother  will  not  know  for  a  while,”  he  said  imploringly. For the first time I felt pity for his mother. She was unkind, rude, and ignorant but I knew she  wouldn’t  be  able  to  bear  it  if  she  knew  that  her  son   was gay.

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“Yes.  That’s  what  I  was  planning  to  tell  her  anyway,”  I  said, finishing my coffee. Ashok dropped me at   my   mother’s   home   and   left.   I   spent   an   uneasy   evening thinking about all the events that happened in the past week and about my upcoming divorce. And then there was Vasu. Just when everything was falling into place, why did I have to complicate matters by falling in love with him? We could have just left things the way they were in California. And then, how could he have said all those things to me the morning after? The next day, Divya finally returned from Mumbai. Vasu had dropped her at the airport. I was afraid to ask her whether he had asked about me. But, first things first. I told Divya that I would come to her office to have lunch with her. I thought I would take her out and then give her news of my impending divorce. *** “You  are  joking.  Don’t  joke  about  such  things  Nithya.” Divya looked disbelievingly. We were sitting at a quiet corner of Pizza Hut and I made her lower her voice. When she realized I was serious she was shocked beyond words. “Athimber is gay? How is that possible? This sort of thing happens only in movies.” I felt like crying. After the shock settled in, she got angry. “Why   didn’t   you   say   anything   to   anybody?   How   could   you   keep   quiet   about  this?  How  did  you  bear  all  this?”  she  asked  and  broke  down.

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The Perfect Groom

I put my arms around her and hugged her. After she calmed down, I told her about the decision that Ashok and I had taken and about our divorce petition. “Do   you   think   Ashok’s   parents   will   create   any   problems? Do they even know that their son is gay?”  she  questioned. I had not told her that   Ashok’s   father   and   my   uncle   had plotted the marriage together. She didn’t  need  to know about that - not right away in any case. It would have been too much to take in. “I   don’t   think   they   know.   But   the   immediate   problem   is,   what   to   tell   Amma? I think for now I will tell her that Ashok is having an affair with a woman in the US?  What  do  you  think?” “Yes.  But  when  are  you  going  to  tell  her the  truth?”  she  asked. “Soon,”  I  said. Divya drank some water as she thought things through. “Okay. The sooner, the better   I   think.   What’s   going   to   happen   to   you   Nithya?” “I  don’t  know.  But I am really glad that you are getting settled soon and that too with someone as mature and nice as Raghavan. I wish the divorce could wait until after your marriage, but certain situations arose and I just couldn’t  stay...”  I  said  worriedly. “Are  you  mad?  How  can  you  be  worried  about  my  marriage?  Let  us  get   you out of this marriage first,”  she said vehemently. I fell silent and stared at a young couple who had walked in. The man was wearing   a   shirt   similar   to   Vasu’s.   A   pang   shot   up   my   heart   and   suddenly I felt like crying. “Does Vasu  know  about  this?  Did  you  tell  him?”  she  asked. What to tell her? “Yes.  He  found  out  when  he  came  there,”  I  said  softly.

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“What  was   his  reaction?  He  must   have been shocked and angry. I wish he had beaten Ashok up for all the pain he has caused you,”   she   said   bitterly. “Leave  it, Divya  and  don’t  talk  about  Ashok  that  way.  He  is  not to blame. I  don’t  have  any  ill  feeling  towards him,”  I  said. We spent another hour talking about the best way to break the news to our mother. We had to leave when Divya got a call from her office and headed back, while I went home. *** There had been no call or message from Vasu since I left Mumbai. There was a nagging pain in my heart.  I  didn’t  want  to  call and tell him that I had applied for a divorce. It seemed too much like following his orders. This decision was mine, I needed it to be mine alone, and yet, thoughts of him lingered in the background. I made my way up to the apartment, wondering when Divya would be free to come home. I opened the door and walked in unthinkingly, into the worst possible situation. Chittappa, Chithi, and my mother-in-law were sitting with my mother, who looked as if she had been crying. Oh great! Here it comes! “Look  at  her  coming  so coolly into the house, Mama. We got her married to Ashok thinking that she would be the perfect daughter-in-law but all that we got was a headstrong girl who has no consideration  for  her  elders.”  My mother-in-law was at her acid best. My mother started crying. I wanted to hit my head on the wall. I should have  told  her  earlier.  She  shouldn’t  have  had to learn this in this way, and from these people.

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“Nithya!  Is  it  true?  Are  you  getting  a  divorce  from  Ashok?  How  can  you   do this to our family? Who will marry your sister if you get divorced? Do you  have  any  sense?”  asked  my  uncle. Great! Ashok, once again you have left me in a soup! But this time I was not going to silently accept everything that came my way. “Divya’s   marriage   is   almost   fixed.   And   I   don’t   think   her   fiancé’s   family   would have a problem with my divorce. Chittappa, Chithi, it is true that you got  me  married.  But  I  can’t  live  with  Ashok  anymore.  This  was  a  personal   decision that was taken by the both of us. If you want confirmation, you are free to call and ask him,”  I  said  unwaveringly. My mother was still sobbing her heart out, her head in her hands. I went to her and put my arms around her. “How  dare  you  talk like this? You ungrateful girl! Mami! Your daughter is very clever. All that we asked of her was to give us a vaaris, a grandson. And  she  doesn’t  want  to  do  that.  Now  my  son  wants  to  give  her  a settlement of one crore rupees! Have you ever heard of anything so preposterous? This girl, who did not have one rupee to her name, will get one crore!”  shouted   my mother-in-law, dramatically clutching her heart. “Mami! Please, you are a heart patient. Please, compose yourself and settle  down.  We  will  speak  to  Nithya,” said my Chithi, who looked as if she didn’t  quite believe what she had just heard. “There   is   nothing   to   speak of Chithi. We have decided to get divorced and it is final. There   is   nothing   more   to   say,”   I   said,   holding on to my mother tightly. Just then the doorbell rang. Everybody stared at me blankly. After a moment, I walked over and opened the door. It was Divya. I was relieved, at least now I would have some support. As she came in, I saw there was someone behind her. It was Vasu! Where did he come from?

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I remembered the call that Divya had taken before we left the restaurant. Was it from him? What had Divya told him? We looked at each other. I had missed him so much yet the harsh sting of his words was difficult to forget. And right now, there was so much else I had to deal with. He looked at my strained face with a puzzled expression, and then comprehension filtered in as he looked into the room. The tense knot in my stomach became more painful as I looked around. Everyone was staring at him, especially Chittappa. Divya looked at me and raised her eyebrows. “They  came  and  told  Amma about  the  divorce,”  I  told  her. “So you told Divya and not me. But why? Why do you want to divorce him so suddenly? I   didn’t   even   know   that   you were unhappy in your marriage.”  My mother looked from Divya to me. “I  wanted  to  tell  you  Amma!  But  couldn’t. I am really sorry that you had to  find  out  like  this,”  I  said. “Answer   your   mother’s   question  Nithya.   We   spent  so   much   money   and   got you married. All wasted! What is so wrong with Ashok that you want a divorce?”  asked  Chithi bitterly. Before  I   could   open   my   mouth,   Divya   replied   hotly,   “Chithi, Why   don’t   you ask Chittappa about  it?  I  am  sure  he  knows  the  truth.” “What  do  you  mean?  Your  Chittappa and I helped you and your family. We fed you, gave you a house and got your sister married. Who does things like  this  in  this  day  and  age?”  asked  my  Chithi. “Please  Chithi! Podhum. You did all this but in return my mother worked day and night to repay your help. The grand finale was the marriage that you arranged for my sister. Do  you  think  you  got  Nithu  the  ‘Perfect  Groom’?   You   and   your   husband   are   responsible   for   the   mess   that   she   is   in,”   said   Divya vehemently.

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“How  can  you  talk  like  this?  What  did  we  do?  How  can  you  blame your uncle?”  asked  Chithi angrily. “You  got  my  sister  married  to  a  gay  man.  Yes.  Athimber is gay. He has a boyfriend   who   lives   in   the   US   with   him.”   Divya’s   eyes   were ablaze with anger. I looked at my mother, fearing her reaction. She was shocked. Everyone was shocked. But Chittappa averted my glance, unwilling to look me in the eyes. “Is  this  true?”  asked  my  mother  brokenly. “Yes.  I  am  so  sorry.  I  should  have  told  you  earlier.  I  didn’t  know  how…”  I   faltered looking at her. Her eyes brimming with unshed tears, she put her hand on my cheek. “You  bore  all  this  for  three  years.  Why?  How  could  you?” “I   wanted   to   wait   until   Divya   got   married.   Ashok   wanted   to   wait   until   Anu  got  married.  So  we  compromised.” “Nithya!   Nothing   is   more   important   to   us   than   your   happiness. Why didn’t  you  realize  that,”  she  cried,  hugging  me  fiercely. I  let  her  hold  me,  unable  to  explain  but  knowing  I  didn’t  need  to. “Mama!  What  sort  of  drama  are  these  women  trying  to  play?”  asked  my   mother-in-law, looking scornfully at each of us in turn. “I  don’t  know,”  mumbled  Chittappa. “This  is  not  a  drama  Mami.  Your  son  is  gay.  If  you  don’t  believe  us  then   go   check   out   Facebook   and   see   what   your   son   has   posted   today.”   Divya   turned to face my mother-in-law calmly. My mother-in-law looked at Divya and I saw a hint of a doubt creep into her eyes. “No.   You   are   lying.   I   don’t   believe   this,”   she   said,   her   voice   suddenly   trembling. I looked at her with pity.

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“I  am  sorry  but  it  is  the  truth,”  Divya  said. “No.  This  is  not  possible.  Tell  me  whether  this  is  true,”  she  asked  turning   towards me. “It  is  true,”  I said softly. Her face paling, she backed towards the door putting out a hand as if to push us and he truth away. “I  don’t  believe  you.  I  don’t  believe  you.  You  are  all  lying.  I  will  speak  to   Ashok. I know  he  is  not…”  she  said  disoriented  and  staggering  a  little.  With   trembling hands, she opened the door and left. “You   shouldn’t   have   told   her   Divya,”   I   said,   feeling   pity   for   the   old   woman. “Nithu!  Enough. No more hiding the truth. It is time that you told people what  you  have  been  going  through  in  that  farce  of  a  marriage.” “Well, we   still   don’t   believe   it. Don’t   think   that   we   don’t   know   who   is   behind  all  this,”  said  my  Chithi acidly, looking disdainfully at Vasu who was standing quietly in a corner. Oh God! Now they are blaming Vasu for the whole thing. I opened my mouth to protest but my mother came forward instead. She faced her sister and brother-in-law. “Who  is  behind  it?  You  tell  me.  How  could  you  do  this to my daughter? It was your husband who got this match for my daughter. Can you take an oath,  with  God  as  a  witness  and  tell  us  that  you  didn’t  know  anything  about   Ashok?” My Chithi recoiled at the hurt and anger in her face. She turned to Chittappa. “How   could   you   willingly   get   such   a   groom   for   Nithya?   You   have   a   daughter  too.  What  if  something  like  this  had  happened  to  her,”  my mother asked vehemently.

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“Look  here.  We  got  the  alliance  but  we  didn’t  know  anything  about  this.   We   don’t believe this gay thing and all. This is just an excuse. There is nothing  like  that,”  said  Chithi evasively. “Why  is  your  husband  keeping  his  mouth  shut?  I  want  to  hear  it  from  his   mouth? He was the one who literally pushed this alliance on us. Why is he silent  now?”  my  mother asked bitterly. “Who  are  you  threatening?  Just  because  this  wastrel  is  on  your  side, you think you can talk however you want. I had no ulterior motive in getting your daughter married to Ashok. I knew he had a small problem - but it is nothing. They could have lived happily. Whose marriage is perfect, you tell me?”   Chittappa seemed to have recovered from any guilt he might have had, and was openly pointing towards Vasu. I stared at him shocked. Vasu came to stand next to Divya and I. “Wow!   Look   at   our   great Chittappa’s wonderful explanation. What else can  you  expect  from  a  person  like  him?”  he  said  sarcastically. “You  knew  everything  yet  you  saw  it  fit  to  sacrifice  Nithya’s  life.  Ashok  is   gay. And there is no way that they could have lived happily ever after. God knows   what   your   friend   offered   you   to   make   this   happen…”   he   carried   on   heatedly. Chittappa turned on my mother. “Can’t   you   see   what   is   happening   here?   Your   daughter   and   Vasu   are   conspiring  together.  That’s  what  this  is  all  about.  And  in  the  process I am getting blamed. Kali muthirchu,”  he  said  bitterly. “What  did  you  say….”  shouted Vasu, moving towards him. My mother came and stood before Vasu and silenced him. “No.  I  have  been  silent  for  too  long.  It  is  my  turn  to  talk,”  she  said  quietly   to Vasu. She turned to Chittappa, looked him straight in the eye and spoke evenly. “I  can  see  what  is  happening  here  Athimber. I know my daughter and I know Vasu. And I know what kind of person you are. You are the sort of

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person who can ruin the life of a girl whom you have known since childhood.  That’s  who  you  are…”  said  my  mother  fiercely. “How  dare  you  accuse  my….”  cried my Chithi. “I  dare.  Yes  I  do.  Your  mother  ruined  my  life  by  getting  me  married  to  a   gambler and a drunkard. And your husband has ruined my daughter’s  life.   You  people  take  pleasure  in  other  people’s  misery.  You  helped  us  when  we   needed   help   but   I   think   I   have   repaid   you   for   all   that   with   my   daughter’s   ruined  life.  Please  leave  now.  I  don’t  want  anything  more  to  do  with  you  or   anybody in your family,”  she  said  defiantly  and  pointed  at  the  door. Chithi and Chittappa were shocked. They could not believe that my mother had stood up to them for the first time in her life. They stared at her in shock and then left, muttering threats under their breath. As the tension eased a bit, I looked at my mother. She was slumped on the sofa with her head in her hands. We sat next to her and hugged her tightly and tried to console her as bitter tears ran down her face.

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TWENTY

It was late in night when my mother finally fell asleep. Alternating between sobs and rage, she cursed everybody from my uncle to Ashok for ruining my life. Divya and I tried to console her. We talked for hours as she cried her heart out. I was emotionally drained by the time she went to sleep. All this while, Vasu waited outside on the balcony. He turned as I came out of the room and we looked at each other for a long moment. “Let’s  go  to  the  terrace.  We  can  talk  freely  there,”  he  said  quietly. I nodded and he took my hand and led me out. It was cool and refreshing out  in  the  open  but  I  was  numb.  I  didn’t  know  what  I  was  feeling.  A  part  of   me was happy because I was finally free. I was also sad, for my mother who was heartbroken. And a part of me was embarrassed and ashamed, because everyone now knew my secret, that my husband was gay and uninterested in me. Vasu held my hand steadily and pulled me into a warm hug. There wasn’t  anything  sexual  about  it,  just  a  comforting  gesture  that  I  needed  so   very badly. I buried my face in his chest, glad to be held so close. “I  know  you  are  upset  about  all  this.  But  I  am  glad  that  everybody  knows   the  truth  now,”  he  said  softly. “How  did  you  come  here  so  suddenly?”  I  whispered. “I   came   to   meet   you.   I   called   Divya   in   the   afternoon and she was very upset  after  your  talk,  so  I  came  along  with  her.  I  didn’t  know  that  all  those   people  would  be  here,”  he  said. “I  should  have  told  her  long  ago.”

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“Yes.  You  should  have.  Why  did  you  suddenly  decide  to  get  a  divorce?” “Ashok’s  parents took us to an infertility clinic. His father wanted me to undergo in-vitro  fertilization  so  that  I  could  have  his  baby,”  I  told  him. “In-vitro  fertilization!”  he  said  bitterly. His tone reminded me of his accusations in Mumbai. “Yes.  But  don’t  worry.  That was the final straw. That is why we decided to  go  ahead  with  the  divorce,”  I  said  moving  towards  the  parapet  wall. “I  am  glad.  We  need  to  make  plans  now.  We  can  get  married  as  soon  as   your  divorce  comes  through.  Let  us  tell  your  mother  tomorrow….” I spaced   out   as   he   went   on   talking.   I   didn’t   know   what   he   was   saying   anymore. I stared at him blankly. “Nithu!  What  happened?  Are  you  listening  to  me?”  he  asked,  holding  my   hands. “Vasu!  My  mother  just  came  to  know  today  that  I  am  getting  a  divorce.  I   can’t  just go to her and say that I am going to marry you. I need time. I need space,”  I  said  moving  away  from  him. “What are you trying to tell me? I  don’t  understand.  Tell  me  clearly  what   you have in your mind. As far as I can see, we love each other. And now you are  getting  divorced  and  we  are  getting  married.  Aren’t  we?”  he  implored. “I  got  married  because  of   Chittappa’s pressure. Getting a divorce is the first independent decision that I have taken in my life so far. I need time to get used to the idea. I need time to forget these three years. I need time to forget a lot of things that have happened. I am not ready for another relationship  right  now,”  I  said  biting  my  lip. He was silent for a while. Then he came close and looked intently at me. “Do  you  love  me  or not?”  he  asked  pulling  me  close. I nodded my head, looking down.

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“I   love   you.   But   I   can’t   marry   you   until   I   am   ready.   And   I   don’t   know   when   that   will   be.   I   don’t   want   to   hold   on   to   you   Vasu   and   give   you   false   hopes.  I  am  so  confused…”  I  whispered. He put his fingers on my lips and traced them with his sensitive touch. I held my breath and looked up. “Don’t   say   anything   more.   I   love   you.   I   know   now   that   I   have   always   loved you. I have never looked at another woman in my entire life. Take all the time that you  want.  I  will  wait  for  you.” I looked up at him. His face was calm, but his eyes looked at me sadly. “You  want  space,  so  I  won’t  call  or  message  or  email  you.  But  know  that  I   will  wait  for  you  to  come  back  to  me,”  he  whispered  passionately. “Vasu,  I  am…” But before I could say anything, he pulled me close and kissed my lips, trailing soft sensitive kisses along my neck and on my lips. I closed my eyes and lost track of time. After a while he stopped and held me close. “I  am  leaving  now.  I  don’t  know  when I will see you again. But remember one  thing,  I  will  be  waiting  for  you.” With a last hard kiss, he left without looking back at me. I could feel the imprint of his lips where he had kissed me.

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TWENTY-ONE

I was at Madhavar Perumal Kovil after almost four years. I had avoided going to Mylapore ever since the divorce showdown with Chittappa and Chithi last   year.   But   I   was   passing   through   the   area   and   couldn’t   resist   myself. The temple precinct was very calm and quiet. There were many young boys sitting around reading and I was reminded of Vasu. Today it was exactly one month since my divorce was finalized and looking back, I couldn’t  believe  how  much  my  life  had  changed  in  the  past  months. Ashok was relaxed and actually charming, ever since he came out of the closet. He came out clean and told his mother everything but she refused to believe him. She was still looking for a match for him apparently, but Ashok told me that he would never marry again. I started a catering business with an old friend and batch-mate. Ashok insisted on giving me a one-time settlement of one crore rupees. I invested some of the money in the business and our profits soared. My mother was depressed for some time after the big showdown but I made her join me in my business and it did a lot of good to her. She became an excellent manager and while she managed existing orders, I was able to focus on marketing, meeting with corporate houses to get more catering orders. Divya was in Singapore working on a project for the past four months. We planned to start wedding preparations as soon as she returned. I knew I should have been happy  but  I  wasn’t.  I  was  independent  like  I   had always wanted to be, my family was free of all charity and obligations

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and I had the catering business I had always dreamed of. Yet I felt there was something missing somewhere. Vasu kept his word and had given me the space I wanted. But off late, I had got into the habit of looking at his number and wishing that he would call. Sleep eluded me unless I was bone tired.   I   didn’t   know   what   my   problem was. My phone rang. It was Diana. “Hi,  How  are  you?”  I  asked  cheerfully. “I  am  good  Nithya.  How  are  you?  How  is  your  business  going?” We called each other at least twice a month to catch up on things. It was she who had told me that Ashok was buying a new house with Sunil. “Business  is  good.  I  am  just  sitting  in  the  temple.  Thinking,”  I  said. “Thinking  of  what?  Are  you  missing  Vasu?”  she  asked  perceptively. “I  don’t  know.  I  think  about  him  a  lot  these  days,”  I  said. “Honey,   you   love   him   and   he   loves   you.   Don’t   go   on   brooding   about   things that he said when he was angry and upset. I know you wanted time to settle down, to become independent. And you have done all that. Now what  are  you  waiting  for?  Go  on  and  call  him,”  she coaxed. I had told her everything that had happened between us. And though I didn’t  tell  her  that  we  slept  together,  she  had  guessed  it. “I  am  not  sure.  It’s  been  so  long.  More  than  a  year  since  I  spoke  to  him,”   I said hesitantly. “Oh  God  Nithya!  What  do you expect? You asked him to back off and he backed  off.  He  won’t  come  to  you  now.  You  will  have  to  go  to  him  or  at  least   call  him  and  take  the  first  step  forward,”  she  said,  sounding  exasperated. She is right. I will have to take the first step. ***

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An hour later I was back home pondering what to do. I wanted to talk to Divya but she was not online. Vasu was online but he did not buzz me. I felt more depressed than ever. My mother was busy searching for something in an old suitcase of hers. As I sat listlessly I noticed an old plastic cover full of photographs that she had taken out. I picked it up and opened it. They were old photographs and most  of  them  were  of  Vasu’s  parents. I remembered the bare walls of his apartment with no photographs or reminders  of  his  parents.  He  hadn’t  wanted  to  ask  Chittappa for them. Thank God my mother kept these safely for him. I knew how happy it would make him to have these mementos. On the spur of the moment I decided to go to Mumbai and give them to him myself. I called my travel agent and asked him to book a ticket for Mumbai the very next day. When my mother asked, I told her there was a food conference that I wanted to attend. And then finally I called Vasu. What will he say? Does he still love me? As his phone rang and rang I almost gave up and was about to cut the call when he picked up. “Nithu!”  he  said.  His  voice  stirred  something  deep  within  me. “Hi  Vasu.” “Hi!  What’s  up?” “I  am  coming  to  Mumbai  tomorrow.  I  wanted  to  see  you  and  to  give  you   something,”  I  said. “What  time  will  your  flight  land?  I  will  come   and  pick   you  up,”  he  said   immediately. “Three  o’clock,”  I  said. “I  will  be  there,”  he  replied.

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*** The flight was late by more than an hour. I was tense and nervous by the time we disembarked. I scanned the crowd anxiously and relaxed only when I caught sight of him. He looked leaner than usual. As our eyes met I had to suppress the urge to run and hug him. I smiled at him instead and he gave me a heartstopping smile back. “How  are  you?”  he  asked,  taking  my  suitcase  from  me. “I  am  fine.  You  have  lost  weight?” “Yes.   I   have   been   running   around   a   lot.   You   look   like   you   have   put   on   some weight. Are you sampling everything that you prepare for your business?”  he  asked  cheekily. “Nonsense.  I  never  put  on  weight,”  I  said  loftily. We got into his car and as he drove, the bittersweet memories of my last visit to Mumbai came back and I felt embarrassed to even look at him. His apartment was the same Spartan space. While he was busy preparing tea, I opened my bag and took out the photographs and kept them on the table. Vasu came out bearing two cups of tea and placed them on the table. “What’s  this?”  he  asked  pointing towards the photos. “Come  and  have  a  look.” He sat next to me and opened the package. He fell silent as he looked through each and every photo of his parents. Blinking back unshed tears, he touched  his  mother’s  face  in  one  of  the  photos. I took his hand in  mine.  “I  found  them  yesterday  in  an  old  suitcase.” “Thank  you.  They  mean  the  world  to  me.  Thank  you,”  he whispered as a tear rolled down his face.

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We went through the photos again and I suggested a nice place to hang them in the bedroom. We talked about everything under the sun, my business, his business, Divya, Raghavan, my mother and Chittappa. There was so much to catch up on. He ordered pizza just like last time and I kept wondering what we would do next. Back on the balcony, he stood next to me, in companionable silence, as I looked over the city. “You  came  here  all  the  way  just  to  give  me  these  photos?” “Yes,”  I  said  looking  down  at  the  traffic. “Come  I  will  drop  you  back to your hotel,”  he  said  abruptly. “No,  I  don’t  want  to  go,”  I  replied. “What  do  you  mean?”  he asked, turning to look at me questioningly. “I  want  to  stay  here,”  I  said  calmly. “And  what  will  people  say?”  he  asked. “I  don’t  care.  I  want  to  be  here  with  you,”  I  whispered  as  he  came  closer. “Are  you  sure?”  he  whispered  back. “Yes,”  I  said looking up at him with my heart in my eyes. “Then  why  are  you  so  far  away  and  not  in  my  arms,”  he  said,  pulling  me   into his arms and holding me tightly. “Did  you  miss  me?”  he  breathed  into  my  hair. “Yes.  Very  much. Even  if  I  didn’t  find  these  photos  I  would  have  come  to   you,”  I  said  fervently. “That’s  what  I  wanted  to  hear,”  he  said  and  started  kissing  me. Oh God! How did I spend a year without these kisses? He ran his hands greedily all over me. I shuddered as I came alive and I could feel his arousal as he locked me against his body.

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“God!   Nithu!   We   can’t   keep   doing   this   all   the   time.   We   had   better   get   married,”  he  whispered  hoarsely. “Yes.  Please,”  I  whispered  back  as  he  began  unbuttoning  my  blouse. “When?   How   about tomorrow? I can ask Raghavan to make arrangements  for  a  court  marriage,”  he  asked  unraveling  my  sari. “Tomorrow?  Okay,”  I  laughed.  “But  not  in  Mumbai.  I  want  to  be  married   in   Chennai.   And   first   you   have   to   come   and   talk   to   my   mother,”   I   said   unbuttoning his shirt and kissing his beautiful body. He carried me over to the bed and laid me down gently before joining me on the bed. “Okay.   Tomorrow   let   us   go   to   Chennai   and   I   will   talk   to   your   mother   first,”  he  said  kissing  me  all  over. “We  can  have  a  registered  marriage  by  next  week  itself,”  he  said  kissing   my breasts. “Will  you  move  to  Mumbai?”  he  asked  suddenly,  lifting  his  head. “Yes,”  I  said,  wishing  he  would  stop  talking  and  go  back  to  what  he  had   been doing. “What  about  your  business  then?”  he  asked  worriedly. “My  mother  will  manage  that.  And  I  can  open  a  branch  here,”  I  said,  and kissed him to stop further questions. Happy to oblige he went back to serious business of loving me. The last time we made love, we had been swept away and had ended with regret and guilt. But today things were different. I was free to love and to be loved. I gave myself to him without any inhibitions. Our union was explosive and I slept  happily  in  my  groom’s  arms  waiting  for  the  day  when  I  would  be  his   bride.

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Glossary of Terms

Metti: Toe ring worn usually worn by married women Chittappa:   Refers   to   father’s   younger   brother   and   to   mother’s   sister’s   husband as well Chithi:  Refers  to  father’s  younger  brother’s  wife  and  to  mother’s  sister  as   well Patashala: School for young Brahmin boys to learn vedas Appalam: Tamil version of pappad Vadam: Similar to pappad and appalam but made from different ingredients Madisar: Traditional nine-yard sari worn by Brahmin ladies Vadiyar: Temple priest or officiating priest Athimber:  Sister’s husband Mami: A common Tamil term used to call all Brahmin ladies Thali: Tamilian mangal sutra, a yellow thread worn by women to denote they are married Arthi: A traditional custom of welcoming new daughter-in-law to the house Usili: South Indian side dish Kadamba Sambar: Sambar (tamarind stew) made with different vegetables Lime rasam: South Indian tamarind soup with lime, tomatoes and coriander www.indireads.com

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Sambandi: in-laws Gayathri Japam: Chanting of the sacred gayathri mantra. A traditional Brahmin custom for men. Poonal: A sacred thread worn by brahmins indicating that they are twice-born Aavani aatam: A sacred ritual for brahmins who change their poonal after reciting gayathri mantra Brahmaastra: A formidable weapon used by mythological heroes Aapam: A traditional south India dish Idli: South India rice cakes Thiruman: Traditional 'U' marking on the forehead specifically worn by iyengars (a Brahmin sect) Veshti: Traditional south Indian dhoti Purvegam: Means  ‘Where  are  you  from?  Which  family  do  you  belong to? Which  village?”  etc. Sollu ma: Means  “tell  me”  in  Tamil Aarubathi moovar: A 10-day festival in the famous Kapileshwarar temple in Mylapore, Chennai Neer more: Watered butter milk Pulliyorai: Tamarind rice Vathal kozhambu: Delicious tamarind gravy Yennai kathirikai: Stuffed Brinjal vegetable cooked in oil Patis: Snacks similar to cutlets Ennada: a term used for boys Pudhina: Indian  term  for  ‘mint’  leaves Upilliappan kovil: Very famous vaishnava temple in Tamil Nadu, India Srirangam: A holy temple town in Tamil Nadu, India

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Sumeetha Manikandan

Pitambari: A special powder used to shine brass and bronze vessels Rangoli: colored powder used to make patterns on the floor Appa: Tamil word  for  ‘father’ Podhum: Enough. Kali muthirchu: A common expression in tamil used when things are going from bad to worse Lakh: One hundred thousand. Crore: Ten million

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sumeetha Manikandan, a freelance content writer is an English Literature graduate with Journalism and Mass Communication diploma. Married to Film Director K.S. Manikandan, she lives in Mylapore, Chennai with her five-year-old daughter. After working as a content manager in Sulekha.com and Clickjobs.com for over eight years, she took a break from full-time work, when her daughter Rakshah was born. While at home, she started writing for various websites and clients. Working on a wide variety of content related projects she established herself as a freelance writer and started a content company of her own in 2011. She  wrote  her  debut  novel,  ‘The  Perfect  Groom’  as  a  script  for  a  serial.  Set  against  the   backdrop of Mylapore’s  Brahmin  community,  she  sketches  many  larger-than-life characters in this novella that will capture your imagination. An avid reader, she is never without a book to read. A temperamental writer, she needs a lot of inspiration to write. She loves to watch movies with happy endings, listens to instrumental music and old melodies. A shopaholic, she loves to splurge on books and clothes. Visit her author page on Facebook to leave a message https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sumeetha-Manikandan-Author

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INDIREADS GENRES

Indireads presents Indilife and Indirom—genres representing drama and romance. Indirom  is  Indireads’  flagship  genre,  offering  a  quality  selection  of  English  language romance novels for South Asia. Within Indirom, we have three sub-genres, classified to appeal to a diverse audience:

GOLDEN SAFFRON

Real romance, real people Romance for the woman of today—living life to the fullest, discovering herself and experiencing all aspects of love and sensuality, all on her own terms.

GREEN LIME

Fresh, fun and happening romance Stories about young men and women experiencing love for the first time in colleges or the workplace, with its attendant thrills, highs and heartbreaks.

BLACK CLOVE

Mystery, suspense and paranormal romance Journeys into the surreal, romance under mysterious circumstances, and encounters with beings not quite of this world.

For the full list of books in each genre, visit www.indireads.com

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