The L word pdf

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INT. GABE’S APT. - NIGHT Gabe and Tom sit on the couch drinking beer. The coffee table is covered with beer bottles and food. They’re watching Pocahontas. GABE Disney really hit the nail on the head with this movie. TOM What do you mean? GABE The movie sums up racism in one song. The savages scene plays on the TV. Gabe sings along to prove his point. GABE (CONT’D) They’re savages, savages, barely even human! Savages, savages, we hate them cuz they’re different. TOM Wow. This movie is a lot darker than I remember. GABE These white man cannot be trusted. TOM Why are we watching this. GABE I’m not sure... Are we gonna get something to eat? TOM Yeah, order a pizza. I gotta text Katie good night. GABE How cute. Tom heads for the bathroom while Gabe picks up the phone. GABE (CONT’D) Hello, operator? We want pizza.

2. INT. GABE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT Tom texts his girlfriend. He speaks as he types. TOM Good night. Love you! Tom smiles content with himself then uses the bathroom. INT. GABE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Gabe is still on the phone. Tom sits back on the couch with his friend. GABE They’re connecting me. TOM Gosh Katie is so great. GABE Yeah? When do I get to meet her. TOM Soon. GABE Cool, just don’t ruin it by telling her you love her or something. TOM How would that ruin things? GABE The “L” word should not be taken lightly. Some people bolt at the sound of it. Gabe is connected with the pizza delivery people. Tom sits there silently. GABE (CONT’D) Hey, yeah could I get a large pepperoni pizza? (Whisper) Tom, should we get cheesy sticks? Tom looks at the message he sent his girlfriend. TOM Oh, no!

3. GABE What? Tom hands his cellphone to Gabe. As Gabe read it his eyes get big. GABE (CONT’D) You’re kidding me? Tom gravely shakes his head. GABE (CONT’D) You just sent this? Tom nods his head. Gabe addresses the pizza delivery people on the phone. GABE (CONT’D) Sorry, cancel that order. My friend just told his girlfriend he loves her. After dating her for ONE WEEK! The delivery boy on the other side of the line can be heard screaming. Gabe hangs up the phone. GABE (CONT’D) What have you done? TOM It’s can’t be that bad. GABE Dude, you’ve been dating her for under a week. That’s really weird. TOM It is? Oh, man but I’m drunk. I can’t be held responsible. GABE Has she responded? Tom check his cellphone. TOM No. GABE She’s probably thinking of how to break up with you as we speak. TOM I’ll call her. I’ll explain.

4. GABE No are you crazy? What’re you gonna tell her? “I got drunk and texted you the “L” word. JK I don’t really love you.” TOM Yeah that’s bad. GABE You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. TOM Shoot. Tom’s phone suddenly rings. Gabe and Tom look at eachother in horror. Tom checks his phone. It’s a call from Veronica, Katie’s friend. TOM (CONT’D) Oh it’s just Veronica. GABE Oh my God! The girl gossip grapevine. She probably told all her friends. You’re gonna have to start a new life. He answers the phone. BEGIN INTERCUT TOM Hello? KATIE Tom? A look of horror washes over his face. TOM (Frantic whisper) It’s Katie! Gabe gasps. TOM (CONT’D) What’s up?

5. KATIE I’m hanging out with Veronica. I forgot my phone at my place. Just  wanted  wanted to to let let you you know. know. TOM Wait, so you don’t have your phone? KATIE Yeah I left it at home. But hey I’ve gotta go. I won’t be back till late tonight. We’re gonna check out that new club downtown. I’ll call you tomorrow. Tom can’t believe his luck. TOM Talk tomorrow then... KATIE Bye! END INTERCUT GABE What she say? TOM She left her phone at home. GABE Then there’s still a chance. TOM You don’t mean... GABE We’ve gotta go over to her place and delete that text. It’s the only thing that can save your relationship. TOM OK I’m in. She’ll be back later tonight. We’ll need to move fast. GABE Hold on, I’m not dressed for breaking and entering. Neither are you. LATER

6. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Gabe and Tom are dresses in all black jumpsuits. They look like burglars. GABE Quick there’s no time to loose. TOM To the car! INT. CAR - NIGHT Quick cuts of starting the car, putting it in gear and speeding off. CUT TO: EXT. MCDONALD’S DRIVE THROUGH - NIGHT Gabe is ordering off the menu. GABE Let me get a number one. With a coke. TOM I thought we were in a hurry. GABE You know dude, even the hamburgular gets hungry sometimes. They get their food and drive off. LATER THAT NIGHT EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Gabe’s car is parked in front of the complex. INT. GABES CAR - NIGHT Gabe is eating his burger. They prepare for the heist. TOM We get in, delete the message and get out.

7. GABE Piece of cake. Gabe produces a gun from the side door compartment. TOM Jesus! Put that thing away! You’re gonna blows somebody’s head off. GABE What if we get into trouble? TOM You’re gonna make it worse if you start shooting that thing. Put it away front Christ’s sake. GABE Fine, but when we need it you’re gonna feel pretty stupid when we don’t have it. TOM Whatever. Here, I brought us masks. GABE Cool let me see em. TOM I brought a ski-mask. GABE The classic. TOM And... Mitt Romney. GABE Ooh, ooh, ooh! Dibs on Mitt Romney! They put their masks on. TOM Ready? GABE Dude, I was born ready. EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Gabe and Tom crouch outside Katie’s door.

8. GABE OK, how are we gonna get in? TOM I brought my lock picking set. He takes a bobby pen and screw driver out of his pocket. GABE Are you kidding? What’re you? Tommy Pickles? That won’t get the door open. TOM Just watch. LATER Tom struggles to pick the lock. GABE Face it, you don’t know what you’re doing. TOM Just give me a second. GABE I’m going back to the car. When I get back, we’re doing it my way. Gabe creeps back to the car. Tom keeps trying to pick the lock. Gabe runs up behind Tom  shouting... GABE (CONT’D) My waaay! He wields a samurai sword. Tom jumps out of the way. Gabe cuts the lock open. The door creaks open. TOM Are you out of your mind? GABE I opened it faster than you did. TOM Let’s get inside before somebody sees us. Gabe and Tom enter the darkened apartment.

9. INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT The room is pitch black. Advanced darkness. The door closes behind them, engulfing them in darkness. Gabe and Tom trip over themselves looking for the light. They turn a lamp on. TOM OK let’s find her phone. I’ll check her room. GABE I’ll check the bathroom. I already got the Mcgurgles. TOM Gross. I didn’t need to know that. Gabe enters the bathroom and closes the door after him. Tom  heads for the bedroom. INT. KATIE’S ROOM - NIGHT Tom searches everywhere for her phone. Quick cuts and edits. INT. KATIE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT Gabe sits on the toilet. He struggles with his duty. GABE What did I do to deserve this? God  why have you forsaken forsaken me? INT. KATIE’S ROOM - NIGHT Tom has given up the search in the bedroom. TOM Where the heck is it? Tom heads to living room. He tears the room apart looking for the phone. TOM (CONT’D) Any luck? Gabe shouts from the bathroom. GABE (O.S.) I’m a little busy!

10. TOM Can’t find it anywhere! INT. KATIE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT Gabe’s business is finished. He gets up to flush. He flushes. The toilet is clogged. He panics. GABE Oh no, oh no oh no! Go down! Go down! I command you! He flushes again, making it worse. He checks for a plunger. He can’t find one. He franticly washes his hands and rushes out of the bathroom. Slamming the door behind him. He wears a look of distress. TOM What? GABE Oh, nothing. TOM Usually when people say, “oh nothing” in response to, “what?” they’re hiding something. Gabe backs away form the bathroom cautiously. TOM (CONT’D) What have you done? Tom enters the bathroom. TOM (O.S.) (CONT’D) OH MY GOD! He rushes out of the bathroom. GABE I’m sorry, it’s Ronald McDonald’s fault. TOM This is getting out of hand. GABE You’re right, let’s get out of here! Gabe bolts for the door.

11. TOM Wait! I still haven’t found the phone! GABE Are you dense? Call it! TOM Oh yeah! Of course. Tom takes out his cellphone and calls Katie’s phone. Ringing can be heard in the apartment. TOM (CONT’D) I hear it! Tom rushes off to find it. GABE Hurry up, man! Tom finds the phone in another room. TOM Bingo! He searches through her messages. He finds his and deletes it! INT. KATIE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Gabe waits in the living room. TOM (O.S.) I got it! GABE Good, let’s get out of here! The doorknob turns and Katie and Veronica walk through the door. They don’t notice Gabe standing there. They close the door behind them. Gabe grabs his gun and points it at the girls. He’s still  wearing  wearing the the Mitt Mitt Romne Romney y mask. mask. GABE (CONT’D) Freeze! The girls scream. Tom rushes to the living room.

12. TOM What’re you doing? I told you not to bring that thing. Katie recognizes Tom’s voice. KATIE Tom? The jig is up. Tom takes off his mask. KATIE (CONT’D) Why is Mitt Romney in my house? TOM Katie this is my friend, Gabe. GABE Nice to meet you, I’ve heard so  much about about you. you. KATIE Tom what’s going on? TOM I’m sorry. I sent you something embarrassing on accident. We broke in here to delete the message. TOM (CONT’D) I don’t care about that Tom. I love you. TOM (CONT’D) I love you too. GABE Awwwww! TOM We’ll just get out of your hair ladies. I’ll call you tonight! KATIE Great. Gabe and Tom leave the apartment. EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Gabe and Tom High five.

13. TOM I guess we didn’t need to go through all that trouble after all. INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Katie walks to the bathroom. KATIE I’ve been holding this in all night. She enters the bathroom. EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Gabe and Tom are still outside. Katie can be heard screaming inside the apartment. KATIE (O.S.) OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL? Gabe and Tom tear off screen towards the car. CUT TO BLACK: