Swami Muktananda - Lalleshwari 1981

llAilll€Sil\Y/ARI SPIRI'I'UAL POEmS BYAGREA1 SIDDfiA YOGIDI

REDDERED BY SWAmi ffiUKfADADDA

©1981 Gurudev Siddha Peeth, Ganeshpuri, India All rights reserved Printed in the United States of America Published by SYDA Foundation

605, South Fallsburg, New York 12779 LCCN: 81-50160 0-914602-66-4

P.O. Box ISBN:

Oil painting on the front cover by Anasuya Ethier

Contents About Swami Muktananda

vi

Preface ix

Swami Prajnananda Introduction Joseph Chilton Pearce Note on the Translation 3

La11eshwari Glossary

87

Other Publications

91

Directory of Major Centers 92 and Ashrams

xv 1

About Swami Muktananda Born in 1908 into a wealthy family in Manga­ lore, India, Swami Muktananda began his spiritual journey at the age of fifteen . A few years later he took the vows of a monk and was given the title Swami and the name Muktananda. For twenty-five years he traveled around India on foot, spending time with many of the renowned saints and meditation masters of his day. He mas­ tered the classical systems of Indian philosophy, as well as hatha yoga and many other branches of spiritual and worldly science. In 194 7 he met Bhagawan Nityananda, one of the great modern saints of India and a master of the Siddha tra­ dition. After nine years of intense study un­ der Nityananda's guidance, Muktananda reached the goal of spiritual practice, the state of Self­ realization. W hen Nityananda died in 1961, he passed on the power of the Siddha lineage to Muktananda. Since that time Swami Muktananda has made several trips to the West and has introduced Siddha medi­ tation to hundreds of thousands of people. He has a large international following, and his students have established several hundred meditation cen­ ters around the world.

Preface

Bhagawan Nityananda

IN THE WEST, WOMEN OFTEN ASK Baba Muktananda whether a woman can become a Siddha or whether there have ever been women Siddhas. This book, which con­ tains the mystical poems of a great Siddha yogin!, is an answer to these questions. Baba has always said that faith in God and the longing to become one with Him are common to men and women. God dwells within both as the Self, and He loves them equally. The Self is beyond gender. It is the body which is referred to as man or woman. Both have the same right to know the Self and become Siddhas. Throughout history both men and women saints have contributed to and enriched the spiritual heritage of the tradition and country from which they have come. Moreover, Baba often points out that women in par­ ticular have been the guardians of religious life, because they are the first influence in the lives of their children. Baba has great respect for women, old or young, and calls them amma, mother, which in Indian culture is con­ sidered to be the highest term of honor. Women have al­ ways been a source of inspiration. In fact, it was his mother's influence which made Baba turn to the spiritual path. Whether in the East or the West, whether in the past or the present, whether attained by a man or a woman, the fundamental spiritual truths are the same, although ix

they may be expressed differently. Similarly, the means of attaining Self-realization are the same in all religions: a gradual rise to higher states of consciousness through a long struggle. This book tells, in her own words, the story of the spiritual evolution of a mystical poetess of Kashmir in India, called Lalleshwari For centuries, not only has Kashmir attracted people from all over the world because of its natural beauty, but it has been the birthplace of many Siddhas and philoso­ phers. Perhaps the awe-inspiring snow-clad mountains, touching the sky and shimmering in the golden hue of the sun, elevated the consciousness of these beings and al­ lowed them to experience the exalted pervasiveness and purity of the inner realms shining with the dazzling light of the Self. Among these Siddhas was Lalleshwaii, also called Lalli, who lived in the fourteenth century. She was a great devotee of Lord Shiva. A yearning for God seems to have been natural to her. It is said that her married life became difficult and finally unbearable because of the unkind behavior of her mother-in-law and the indiffer­ ence of her husband. As a result she left home while still young. Once the karma of the relationships in her worldly home was finished, she set out in search of her real home. During her wanderings, Lalleshwari met a Siddha Guru, Shri Siddhanath, who is believed to have belonged to the lineage of Shri Vasugupta Acharya, the foremost exponent of the philosophy of Kashmir Shaivism. She be­ came his disciple and, by following his teachings, attained the Truth through meditation. Ultimately she reached the supreme state of an avadhiit, in which she transcended body-consciousness. She roamed the streets half-naked and bore the ridicule of the ignorant with equanimity. She sang and danced in divine ecstasy while poems of spiritual wisdom flowed from her mouth. These priceless verses, known as Lalla Vakh, made their home in the hearts of the Kashmiri people, and these people began to love Lalli dearly. Every house resounded with her lyrical poems, which were sung in the Kashmiri language. Even today, after 600 years, Lalleshwari is a living influence in

X

Kashmir. Although we know very little about her life (the accounts we have are mostly gleaned from the personal elements found in her poems), the diamonds that dropped from her mouth still sparkle. They are the immortal words of a mortal body. These gems were scattered here and there as Lal­ leshwaii wandered, and were picked up and preserved by people through generations. In modern times, they were gathered and translated into different languages by scholars such as Pandit Ananda Kaul, Sir Richard Temple, Shn J. Rudrappa, and B. N. Parimoo. In this book, the verses have been collected from different sources, ar­ ranged and rendered into Hindi by Baba, and translated into English by Yogini Shri Malti Devi. Lalll's poems expound the idealistic philosophy of Kashmir Shaivism prevalent in her time. They are filled with illustrations and yogic terms which at times may seem obscure, but she spoke from the depth of her own mystical experiences. In her poems, she has unhesitat­ ingly shared with us the experiences of her sadhana and its culmination. Although she was a devotee of Shiva, her teachings transcended creed, dogma, and religion. There­ fore, she was equally respected and accepted by the Hin­ dus and Muslims of Kashmir. The pure, rippling waters of the streams that flow from the lofty mountains of Kashmir still bear her inspir­ ing message, which perhaps Baba heard when he visited Kashmir. Baba has collected the random, sparkling drops of those streams and brings them to us enriched with the flavor of his own realization and experience. Only a Siddha can understand the language of another Siddha, can solve its riddles and make its intricacies clear to us. Only one who has experienced the ordeals, aus­ terities, and despair of a sadhanii filled with intense yearning for God can understand the deep feelings inher­ ent in Lalli's poems. Only one who knows the greatness *

A Hindi version of Lalleshwarf, rendered by Swami Muktananda, was published in 1968. *

xi

of the Guru's grace, and the joy of the total freedom of Shiva-consciousness that it brings, can understand Lalli's mad ecstasy; which brought forth sublime teachings. In Mukteshwarf, Baba, like Lalli, speaks of how God, who seems so far away; is really found within: "In my search for Him I traveled far, traveled wide, questioned many. No answer came. When I came back I just saw Him there within me." Let us pray that, with Baba's grace, we too may experi­ ence that divine and deathless madness in which Lalli al­ ways reveled. -SWAMI PRAJNANANDA

xii

Introduction

POETIC L ANGU AGE "PL AYS WITH IM AGES," the great histo­ rian Johan Huizinga said, and is that which '1must of necessity move outside the limitations of intellect." So a translator must, if he is to be successful, let himself be so moved. Nothing is as deadly as poetry translated by a dry, pedantic scholar who has merely performed some literal matching of words. A translator must find words that match not just in meaning, but, far more importantly, in connotation, those fragile allusions, implications, and subterranean suggestions that only a peculiarly fitting word can evoke within us. A true translation is always a re­ creation. This book of verse is unique because here a present­ day saint, Swami Muktananda, renders available for us the poetry of Lalli, a saint who lived some six centuries ago. In this merger of greatness, an echo out of the past finds its perfect resonance, and thus perfect amplification, in a powerful voice of the present. In this happy blending we have a double grace; we are twice blessed. A living saint can best render into our living language the images of a past saint because only he has traveled the same road and so has become those images himself. Surely anyone familiar with Muktananda's spiritual autobiography, Play of Consciousness (and anyone interested in a life of the XV

Spirit should be familiar with it), will recognize strong parallels between the struggles and elations of these two giants and will immediately recognize how Muktananda's superb rendering of Lalli's verse is made from the same ground of spiritual being that she experienced when she sang these songs of ecstasy and despair. Huizinga spoke of all poetry as "born of the sacred play of worship. " Paul Valery considered poetry a play of words and language. And here in Lalli's poems we have a play of imagery depicting the highest of all conceptions, the play of Consciousness, the divine play of God moving in His world. As Swami Prajnananda points out in her preface, Lalli lived in Kashmir, in northern India, the fountainhead of Kashmir Shaivism, that teaching closest in tone and in­ tent to Muktananda's "meditation revolution" of Siddha Yoga. And Lalli emerges in these verses as a clear expo­ nent of this ancient system of thought. Reading her, we realize why Kashmir Shaivism and Siddha Yoga are not so much a philosophy or religion as a movement, a force, a process or function in human development. As such, although we may find similarities to them in other sys­ tems, Kashmir Shaivism and Siddha Yoga have no paral­ lels, for here is no dry creed, dogma, or litany, but a for­ mula for dynamic action. This vitality is maintained, generation after genera­ tion, by the appearance of saints, great beings who, through intense devotion and hard work, discover anew the truth of the divinity within themselves and all human beings. Only through this process of constant rediscovery can the teaching itself be renewed, for it opens these saints to the awesome power of creative Consciousness, making them natural channels for that same power to flow to us. The constant renewal of spiritual power in each gener­ ation is the Guru principle, and it is this principle which makes Kashmir Shaivism and Siddha Yoga so unique, vigorous, and vital. There are those who say, "Just give me the concept, the principle, but leave Gurus out of it." But Spirit does not work that way, any more than dry xvi

literalism can grasp the essence of poetry. The bare con­ cept, like the letter of the law, has no life. The living Word alone gives that. Thus, Lalli" implores: 0 my beloved Guru, accept me . . . . Transmit your inner Shakti into me. This is the great key-this transmission, this bestowal of the power of Spirit, this divine initiation in which the power of Consciousness inside us is awakened, transform­ ing our life and making everything new. Without this awakening, our efforts to renew ourselves are largely futile. The Guru is the bond of power that enlivens our infant spirits so that we can grow to full maturity. Muktananda often says that even one word of a great saint is a mantra, a word of creative power. Huizinga wrote that a great poet can "instill a mystery" into his words so that every image contains the answer to the enigma with which he deals. In the same way; nearly every verse of Lalli's seems to contain the whole of our spiritual search, just as in mathematics any portion of an infinite series contains the totality of that series. For example, how completely the sum of Kashmir Shaivism is found in this straightforward stanza: The world is the play of the Universal Consciousness appearing as matter as well as conscious beings. The Universal Consciousness is Shrl Guru Siddhanath. That Consciousness is Shiva. It is also you. The meaning of this simple statement gradually un­ folds over the years of our life. All is contained therein. This is truly the Divine Comedy in its original sense of a "revel of singing, " for it is an outburst of joy over the indivisible unity of world, God, Guru, and human beings. Because we are a part of this infinite series, we are also, though we do not know it, the totality. The Guru is this totality expressed in the flesh for us, the role-model given xvii

ever anew for our emulation. The disciple is the one who follows this role-model; discipline is a joyful following. Lalli tells us that the Guru is our true friend. "Take refuge in him alone. " Everything has become new for me, since Siddhanath changed my life. How did this change take place? When Siddhanath applied lotion to my eyes, the cataracts that covered them dissolved. When the Guru awakens the Shakti, the divine energy of the Spirit within, our union with God becomes appar­ ent. Then: If you follow all the teachings

of the Guru, you can experience the Truth. And this Truth, which is the essence of Kashmir Shaivism and Siddha Yoga, is our absolute unity with God. In these pages Lalli emerges as a woman of impressive strength and a fierce, indeed fiery, determination. This makes Muktananda all the more her perfect counterpart and interpreter. Only one with an equal strength can do justice to the nature of a great being. Lalli sings of God's cosmic struggle to be born out of His world-womb. Yet she dwells less on the labor than on the necessary toughness of spirit. To break through the imprisoning attachments to the things and relations of this life is no small task: With great effort I rooted out the enemies lust, anger, and ego. Relentlessly she drives herself, knowing that her ego must be "crushed to powder between grinding stones." We resist being weaned from the childish materials of our world, but against this resistance Lalli posits a power­ ful reminder: The world is only a guest house. No one can be a permanent resident here. xviii

Her sense of metaphor is extraordinary. The classic ones are here: the river of the world and the boatman; the fire of agitation and the rock of renunciation. Yet how unique and apt is "The river of sense objects is in flood/' implying that vivid sweep of sensuality that drowns the soul. Convention has cast the woman saint-poet into the category of sweetness, light, and noble sentiment. In Lalli we find, though, an undercurrent of forceful tenacity that more truthfully portrays the dimensions of the struggle for spiritual integrity in a world of opposition, ridicule, and scorn. We glimpse, with admiration, something of her indomitable spirit that rejects marriage, home, security, and convention and drives her to wander unkempt, un­ combed, and half-naked along the paths closed to men or women of a lesser fiber. Yet her break with the comforts of her world is no easier for her than it would be for any of us, and in "the sword of attachment which is cleaving your heart" we de­ tect some of the same grief Arjuna expresses in the Bhagavad Gitii when he first grasps the full dimensions of his coming struggles. Six centuries may separate Lalli from Muktananda, yet they are surely contemporaries. Either could slip eas­ ily into the era of the other, for the struggle between Self and ego is always the same. Through powerful and com­ pelling imagery, Lalli presents all the great themes of Kashmir Shaivism, the life and death issues that confront us now as then. She presents them in a stark, at times harsh clarity balanced by sheer beauty. Huizinga wrote that poetic imagery is always "exorbitant, " and rightly so. For ordinary language, like our ordinary life, is dull and prosaic compared to that opened by the life of Spirit. Here the word can become "a storm center of meanings, sound, and associations, radiating out indefinitely like the ripples of a pool, " to use Northrop Frye's description of a word's possibility in the hands of a poet. In Lalli these ripples radiate out to universal proportions. In Plato's Symposium, Socrates speaks of true poetry as a blend of tragedy and triumph. In Lalli's poetry we xix

find vivid insights into both the travails and the supreme heights of the journey toward God. You must bear the lightning and thunder along the path. Lalli warns us of "the dark midnight of sadhana," or spiritual practice. But hold firm, and "God will come looking for you." As my faith and love grew, the darkness of the world diminished. Within and without, light began to shine. Finally: I entered the gate to the beautiful garden of sahasrara. There I saw the union of Shiva and Shakti. I began to drink nectar from the lake of ambrosia . . . . This is the grace of Siddhanath, the attainment of your life. It is our incredible fortune to have in our midst today one who carries the lineage of this ancient yet ever-new action of Spirit. Lalli had the grace of her Shrl Siddhanath, and through Muktananda's grace we have this collection of Lalli's poetry. Even more, through Muktananda's grace we are given the eyes to see, the ears to hear her. As Muktananda said of his Guru, Bhagawan Nityananda: "0 Guru, through your grace even the unintelligent can understand philoso­ phy. " Even greater still, through the grace of a great living master we are given the understanding to undertake, our­ selves, this magnificent journey within, which is the only meaningful action life affords.

-JOSEPH CHILTON PEARCE

XX

Lalleshwari

Note on the Translation

This book was translated into English by Yogin:i Shrf Malti Devi with Swami Kripananda , and edited by Swami Samatananda with Ma Durgananda.

Transliteration of Devanageri Script

Yogini Shri Malti Devi

A diacritical m ark has been used to indi c a t e the long vowel sounds in Sanskrit words, for example, ii, 15, ii. Otherwise, for the sake of simplicity. all other diacritics have been omitted.

1 Where have I come from? What road have I traveled? Which way am I going? I do not know the way; yet here I stand with courage and determination, hoping to grasp the knowledge of the Truth.

2 Although I traveled along a road, it was not the road I should have taken. Now I yearn to cross over the river. But the boatman is demanding the fare, and I have earned not a penny. 0 Lord! How will I go across?

3 I am sailing in my broken boat, hoping to reach the other shore. Oh, I wish my God were here to help me cross this turbulent ocean. I am eager to return to my blissful home, but my efforts are like an unbaked pot. They leak when the water of grace is poured in. 0 Lalli! Only your true home is full of bliss and unchanging peace.

3

4 You are Shiva, Keshav; Brahman, and the Self. I am afflicted with the disease of the world. I am powerless; protect me.

5 Old age has come; my body is emaciated. I must get ready to leave. I have to return and merge in the place from which I came. Is there anything eternal in this world in which I can absorb my mind? Nothing.

6

Expelled from his mother's womb, the individual experiences a birth fraught with suffering. The body he inherits is choked with all kinds of filth, yet he is forced to grow, trapped in that impure vessel. Deluded by his belief that he is the body and that through it he can attain joy, he seizes on a mate. That ignorant soul who never goes beyond the body is unable to see the true nature of the Self. 0 Lalli, understand this world as it really is.

4

7 Are you awake? Then stride forth. Walk fast and complete your journey. You must take great care to let your understanding grow. Seek your Friend and you will see the light. Let your legs become stronger and your wings sprout.

8

After going through so much trouble in the world, after facing so many obstacles, I left home. In fact, I did not just leave. I ran away. I kept searching here and there, until I finally got tired. At that moment, I had the darshan of Guru Siddhanath. Lalli knew at last that everything would be fine.

5

9

0 my beloved Guru, accept me. 0 Guru Siddhanath, with your grace teach me how to expand my knowledge. Transmit your inner Shakti into me. 0 Guru! Begin to vibrate as So'ham in the temple of my mind. And tell me why the breath passing through the nostrils leaves one cold and one hot.

10 My world and my home life were like a dream. But though they were false, they caused me real anguish. Still, only because of their torment was Lalli able to become a rock of renunciation and take refuge in Siddhanath.

11 With great difficulty, I passed Siddhanath's test. Then he rewarded me by initiating me into Siddha Yoga. A wave of courage arose in my heart, and the fire of agitation began to be extinguished. Lalli became engrossed in her sadhana.

6

12 Because of my love for God, a flood of renunciation filled my mind. I stopped tying up my hair and threw away my sari. I wrapped myself in an old robe and went to live in a lonely place, occasionally keeping company with siidh us. With courage, I began to enter the inner kingdom. Slowl� slowly the journey of Lalli's life began to go well.

13 If you surrender the sword of attachment which is cleaving your heart, you can enjoy the pleasure of the divine kingdom. If your life is disciplined and your heart is generous, you can enjoy the bliss of heaven. If you follow all the teachings of the Guru, you can experience the Truth. You alone have to undergo the fruits of your karmas, whether good or bad. But Lalli, once you attain the grace of Guru Siddhanath, where is pain?

7

14 How can those who understand the futility of the world, the fickleness of youth, and the impermanence of wealth be affected by these things? One with true understanding is like a lotus that grows in muddy water yet dwells on the palm of Lord Narayana. If, even while living in the world, a person is absorbed in meditation on Shiva, in the name of Shiva, in discrimination, and in Truth, 0 Lalli, he becomes a flower in the hand of Shiva. 15 There is nothing in this world that has any value in itself. Circumstances make you either lowly or great. A person who is lowly today becomes great when he has wealth and prosperity. A person who is great today is left alone when he is plagued by poverty. 0 Lalli! Merge into Shiva. He is the supreme wealth, different from both lowliness and greatness, poverty and prosperity.

8

16 The play of this world is a prolonged dream. In a dream, the waking state does not exist, and, when one is awake, the dream is no longer real. Beyond both of these lies the supreme state, where there is neither joy nor sorrow, neither thirst nor hunger, neither pain nor agitation. In that state, there is nothing but supreme peace. This is the eternal dwelling of great yogis, deities, and Supreme Shiva.

0 Lalli', it is within your own heart. Go and live there. There you will attain peace.

17 One who strays far from God wanders, begging from house to house.

0 Lalli', everything comes looking for one who has faith in God and who accepts God by immersing himself in Om Namah Shivaya.

0 Lalli, there are only six syllables for you to contemplate:

Om Namah Shiviiya.

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18 A sadhana is merely a path that allows you to reach the goal of all sadhana. There are so many different paths in the world, such as yoga, fasting, rituals, and worshipping at holy shrines. Stop tormenting yourself with all these.

0 Lalli, for you, Namah Shivaya is complete siidhanii.

19 0 Lalli! With right knowledge, open your ears and hear how the trees sway to Om Namah Shivaya, how the wind says Om Namah Shivaya as it blows, how water flows with the sound Namah Shivaya. The entire universe is singing the name of Shiva.

0 Lalli! Pay a little attention.

20 Plants spring up from the soil pulsing Om Namah Shivaya. Sadh us bathe in holy rivers muttering Namah Shiviiya. Mothers nurse their children humming Om Namah Shiviiya. Everything is singing the name of Shiva.

0 Lalli! If your prana goes out without Om Namah Shiviiya, don't let it return.

10

21 Eating without the name o f Shiva, drinking without the name of Shiva, sleeping without the name of Shiva, waking without the name of Shiva, living without the name of Shiva are all just a waste of prana.

0 Lalli, if you want your life to be fulfilled, understand that to forget

Om Namah Shivaya is death.

22 Don't look for Shiva. Don't leave your home. Don't even exert yourself to attain Him. With a one-pointed mind, repeat Om Namah Shiviiya,

0 Lalli! He will instantly speak to you, murmuring from within.

23 Shiva sees through your eyes. Shiva hears through your ears and speaks with your tongue. Shiva makes your breath move in and out and digests your food when you eat.

0 Lalli! Lose yourself in the repetition of Om Namah Shiviiya.

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24 The world is created by Shiva. There is nothing without Him. Everything is the one Shiva; there is no such thing as two. Shiva lives in the world and pervades its external form.

0 Lalli, if you leave out the manifest Shiva, what else can you meditate on?

25 You may be bathing, laughing, or working, but He is always right before you. Meditate on Him. He lives in your heart. Recognize Him. Don't look for Him here and there, wondering, "Where is God?"

26 If your desires have broken out of the bonds of the web of time, then you can live either at home or in a forest. The pure Self pervades all. If you truly know this, you will become what you already are. For you, the entire universe will be the garden of Shiva.

12

27 Make your hut spotless by scrubbing and sweeping it. Keep your body clean by bathing it. Become pure within by eating simple food. Make your speech pure by repeating Namah Shiviiya. Make your eyes sharp by seeing Shiva everywhere.

0 Lalli, then it will not take long to attain That. In fact, you are already your own attainment.

28 When your desires are burned in meditation, when the jealousy that hurls you into hell flees from your heart, when the ego that blinds you surrenders, when your mind becomes as clear as water,

0 Lalli, then you become the eternal abode of Shiva.

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29 Don't claim to be intelligent. Discard false reasoning. Forget knowledge and science. Close your eyes to the pseudo-cleverness of the modern world. Free yourself from the fear of ethical codes. Engage yourself in attaining simplicity. Fill your heart with devoted chanting of Om Namah Shiviiya. Drown in the ocean of Shiva's love.

0 Lalli! This is Siddhanath's secret teaching.

30 Engage your mind wholly in Namah Shivaya. No difference will remain between you and Shiva. Your mind will be intoxicated with Shiva's bliss, and your throat will be choked with love. Then the individual soul will manifest as Shiva.

0 Lalli! Never forget this teaching of Siddhanath.

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31 Why do you seek God in caves and mountains? Why do you search the snows of Himalayan peaks? Why do you look for Him in philosophical doctrines? Why do you seek Him in ohe temple or another? Siddhanath freely gave you

Om Namah Shivilya. Wherever you repeat it, Shiva stands right there.

32 The body is His temple. The inhalation arid exhalation are His japa. Eating and drinking are worship of Him.

A still mind is meditation. The natural thought-free state and lack of expectation are attainment. This is the teaching of Siddhanath.

0 Lalli! Become one with it and remain ecstatic.

15

33 The world is the play of the Universal Consciousness appearing as matter as well as conscious beings. The Universal Consciousness is Shri Guru Siddhanath. That Consciousness is Shiva. It is also you. Give up your Aham, your individuality.

0 Lalli! Then you will know that you alone pervade all.

34 Sing Om Namah Shivaya with no feeling of duality. See the Guru's image everywhere, with love. That which is inside you is also outside you. Without you, the world does not exist. Without you, there is no Shiva. You pervade everywhere in countless forms.

0 Lall:i! Lose yourself in Siddhanath's wisdom­

Purno'ham, "I am perfect." Eradicate your name and any trace of separateness. Then only Lalli, and nothing but Lalli, exists in all.

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35 Drown in the ocean of the bliss of Shiva. Obliterate your name and form. All actions are Shiva; all religions are Shiva. Everything belongs to Him. He fills everything, 0 Lalli! You are a wave of that ocean. You transcend both pain and pleasure when you immerse yourself in Shiva's ocean of bliss.

36 Shii Lalleshwari was a disciple of Guru Siddhanatheshwar. Lalleshwari once asked her Guru four questions: Who is the one who drowns in the state of deep sleep, and who is the one who stays awake? "When the extroverted mind drowns in worldly actions, it is asleep. When the mind is absorbed in knowledge and turns within, it becomes the Self and is awake."

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What lake is composed of constantly moving currents? "The organs of action are always tempted by the objects of their desires. A Shiva yogi must conquer his senses and keep his mind vigilant on the path to realization." What does a person have that is worthy of surrender to Shiva? "The knowledge that brings about the oneness of the individual and God is worthy of surrender to Shiva.

0 Lalli, give yourself to Him and become carefree." What is the highest place in which one finally merges?

"0 Lalli, it is the supreme state, the Shiva Principle, your own Self. "From the standpoint of the Truth, there is nothing that can bind one. Because the Self is pure and undefiled, it is always free of modifications. "Birth and death, pain and pleasure must exist in a human being's journey through the world. But his goal is always the attainment of Brahman. His goal is always the state of the Supreme Self."

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37 0 Lalleshwari! There is no illumination like the knowledge of Brahman. There is no pilgrimage like the attempt to find God. There is no better relative than God's compassion. There is no greater joy than leading one's life with faith, devotion, and fear of God.

0 Lalli! There is no greater yoga than meditation on Shri Guru.

38 Who are your father and mother? Who are your friends and relatives? Even though you know they do not belong to you, do you still burn in the fire of pride? Do you still identify with them?

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39 0 Lalli! In this world, who gives themselves to you without any self-seeking? Mother, father, husband, brother, sister­ all want something in return. If they do not need something from you, they soon show their backs. People never give themselves without some selfishness. Everyone loves out of self-interest, not for the sake of love alone.

0 Lalli! In this world, only your Guru Siddhanath is your true friend. He is your mother, father, husband, son, and well-wisher. Take refuge in him alone.

40 In this world, Shiva is the father, Shiva is the mother, Shiva is the nourisher, and Shiva is the sustainer. Shiva should be known.

0 Lalli! Your Shrl Guru Siddhanath is Shiva manifest. Stay with him.

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41 Put on the glasses that Siddhanath gave you. Acquire true visionsee Shiva and nothing but Shiva. Then the burning of your heart will be extinguished.

0 Lalli! Seek within yourself. All your desires will be fulfilled there.

42 Everyone knows God; still, everyone seeks Him. Very few attain Him, because they lack a guide and their efforts are feeble.

0 Lalli! Even in your dreams contemplate the teachings of Shri Guru Siddhanath. He tells you, "God's name is sublime. You are already Paramashiva."

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43 The rays of the sun make no distinction. They enter all homes equally. The clouds shower rain on all without favor. In all its fullness, that Supreme Principle exists impartially everywhere.

0 Lalll, understand that it is the ultimate support of all.

44 Have the awareness that everything is Shiva. With true understanding see Shiva everywhere. Have neither friend nor foe. Give up duality and renounce ideas of "I" and "others." Become the friend of Siddhanath.

0 Lalli! This is the true path for you.

45 Your face is beautiful, but your heart is a rock. From reciting and reciting, your tongue is worn out. From writing and writing, your fingers have worn away. Yet the hatred stored within you has never left.

46 Give up greed and hatred; pursue the essence of your Self. Chiti, the great Void, exists everywhere as one.

0 Lalll, merge into that oneness of Chiti by giving up the thought of two.

47 Lust, anger, and greed are the agents of evil. They should be killed. Otherwise, they will slay you with their deadly arrows. Watch them with a vigilant mind, and quiet them with good thoughts. Understand their nature, function, and effects. They are great deceivers.

0 Lalll! Beware of them.

48 Can you hold the ocean in your hands? Can you grasp the wind and keep it from blowing? No. But if you could just control your five senses, you would see the sun even in the darkness of ignorance.

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49 You can meditate on God if you have become humble, if you have killed the enemies lust, anger, and conceit. Consider worldly objects to be dust and ashes. Even God becomes humble.

0 Lalli, humility is the sign of attainment.

50 There is nothing in this world that man has earned by himself. Instead of letting others serve you, learn how to serve. Destroy the three thieves desire, lust, and ego. They are short-lived, but devotion is everlasting. Serving God is man's strength. It is the birthplace of the flame of knowledge. Through it, attain the knowledge of your Self.

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51 You alone will have t o bear the burden of your karmas.

Karmas are a vehicle; they carry their results back to the one who performed them. Whether good or bad, they always follow you, but everyone else can share their benefits.

Karmas must be performed without expectation of their fruits.

Karmas must be performed as an offering to the Self. Then, wherever you go, you will get nothing but profits.

0 Lalli! Burn your karmas in the fire of Namah Shivaya.

52 Dress properly. Hide your virtues like jewels. Kindle the fire of renunciation within, in total secrecy. Make friends with your Self. Burn yourself in the fire of Siddhanath's word, and remain ecstatic without moving from your bed.

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53 Some remain awake while sleeping. Others sleep even while awake. Some stink even after bathing. Others are naturally pure. But very few stay actionless while engaged in worldly life.

0 Lalli! Only that heart in which the flame of God has been kindled is clean and pure.

54 If you overeat, you will be unable to reach your goal. You will just become fat. By fasting, you will only become conceited. Therefore, you should eat with moderation and discipline. Be an ordinary individual. The path will become easy and the door will surely open for one who eats moderately.

0 Lalli! Become moderate.

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55 Such is a person's mind that he cannot be happy even after ascending a throne and ruling a kingdom. Yet if that same person renounces power and position, he still cannot be happy if he does not renounce his greed. Even to the point of death, people stay trapped in greed. The mind can never be cool and quiet in the fire of greed. To be dead to desire while remaining alive is to live in constant joy. It is true knowledge.

0 Lalli! Die while remaining alive.

56 0 mind! Meditate on the Self and God. Let dust merge back into dust. You should wear clothing only to keep out the cold. You should eat food only to satisfy your hunger. When your body dies, people will throw it away. Consider your body nothing more than a potential meal for the vultures in the jungle.

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57 Wear only the clothes that you need to keep out the cold. Fill your stomach three-fourths with food to still your hunger. Use your mind with discrimination to ponder the oneness of the individual and God. Never think that you have a body just to satisfy your senses. That is delusion.

58 0 Lalli, you are bodiless. Why do you adorn your body? Why do you nourish it with delicious food? You must be mad! Instead, with a pure mind, seek the inner Paramashiva. Root out your laziness, and cast aside your ignorance. Then you will understand that your body is part of God, the Supreme Father, the Self of all. Only then will your inner beauty be revealed.

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59 0 Lalli:, you were drawn here by the law of destiny. Impelled by the same law, you will leave one day. Your goal is the Supreme Principle, the Friend of all. It does not matter what the ignorant and small-minded say or do to you along the way.

60 You must bear the lightning and thunder along the path. You have to endure the difficulties in the dark midnight of siidhana. Be calm; do not turn back. It will be like being crushed to powder between grinding stones. But if you can endure it, 0 Lalli, God will come looking for you, and happiness and contentment will welcome you home.

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61 On the road t o God, overcoming obstacles is like being ground in a mill or being plunged into night in the middle of the day. It is like dazzling lightning or thunder crashing among the clouds. Don't worry! Whatever is supposed to come always comes; it never fails. Face everything contentedly while absorbing your mind in Paramashiva.

62 When your impurities are burned through suffering, you will become more lustrous than a mirror in the sun, more pure than the most perfect of pearls.

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63 0 my fickle mind, don't be afraid. He who is beginningless and infinite is watching over you. He is with you always. You never know when He will satisfy your hunger, so quietly wait for His word. He will take you across the ocean of life.

0 Lalli! Call His name. Shout Om Namah Shiviiya with love and faith. He will answer at once.

64 That which is stolen from Pattan (the treasure of true knowledge) is deposited in Mattan (the teachings of false yogis). Some people teach spiritual matters out of greed, but they are in trouble. They are wasting their powers. They can neither retain them, nor make them flourish. If you are wise, you will understand my words.

0 Lalli! Know the value of knowledge.

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65 To stop the flow of water, to cool fire, to walk on air, to milk a wooden cow­ all these things violate natural laws. They are all ultimately a sham and a fraud.

0 Lalli! Stay away from the miraculous powers of riddhis and siddhis. Continue to drink the nectar of love within yourself.

66 Through the power of yoga, it is possible to vanish and appear. Or you can sit in a yoga posture and float in the air for a long time. In a moment you can travel through many planes and countries. You can even know the minds of others. Yet without the grace of Guru Siddhanath,

0 Lalli, you can never attain the Truth.

67 A fish may live without water; the world may live without air; you may build a castle in the sky and even stay in it; but to think of finding Shiva without a Guru to help you is a mere dream.

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68 I have heard that someone rode upon a tiger. I heard that another person rode upon a wall.

0 Lalll, if you want, you can make asses horses or walk on flowing water or dance on blazing fire. But without the Guru's compassion, you will not find the ecstasy of the inner kingdom of your own Self, even in a dream.

69 One who meditates on Shiva with the silent mantra realizes Shiva. No language can form this mantra. It is the unrepeated ajapii mantra, which exists only in silence. This mantra is called Hamsa, which is the same as So'ham. It is also called Paramahamsa and the unsounded mantra.

A seeker practices it with his inhalation and exhalation, but actually the breath is already doing the Hamsa japa within, day in and day out. Paramashiva, who is not different from us, dwells in the sahasriira as Hamsa. The wise understand this through the power of Shiva's blessing.

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70 Consider the dviidashiinta mandala at the crown of your head to be the temple of God. Hear the aniihata, the unstruck sound, rising from your heart to your nostrils. The fickleness of your mind will automatically vanish. You will truly see your own Self as God. But then whom will you worship?

0 Lalli:! The object of worship will be you. The divinity of your heart is the supreme object of worship for the entire universe.

71 The aniihata sound is beyond time and space, yet within everyone. Its final abode is the Void, where it has neither name nor color, neither origin nor form. When it arises on its own as pure "!"-awareness, its first form is subtle sound, its second, a tiny point of light.

0 Lalli, then it mounts the horse of the breath and rides in and out in the form of So'ham.

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72 The horse of the mind gallops thousands of miles a second as it roams through the skies. If you don't know how to rein it in, your prana and apiina will flog you to death.

0 Lalli! If you want to escape that fate, cling to the feet of Siddhanath:

Ham and So.

73 Kusha grass, flowers, sesame seeds, candles, and water are not necessary for worship. If you accept the Guru's word with all your heart, if you meditate on Shiva constantly with faith, you will become actionless; you will not be reborn.

0 Lalli! Everything is contained in So'ham, the two syllables of the word of Siddhanath.

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74 I want to see Him. I don't care how. But a limitless ocean stands between us. How can I cross it with the boat of my mind when my mind is so weak? Look for a friend. Become the close companion of the inhalation and exhalation. By combining So'ham with them, you can sail across.

75 Some give up their hearth and home, and retire to a forest retreat. All this is futile. Where does God not exist? Shiva is everywhere. Even while tied to your household duties, day in and day out pursue So'ham in your breath. Then you will become what you really arethe perfect and supreme light.

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76 If you repeat, "Shiva, Shiva," all the time, if you concentrate on Hamsa vibrating with your.breath, day in and day out, if your mind is detached from the pleasures of the world as you lead your worldly life, then you will truly become free of duality. You will always feel that Supreme Shiva is pleased with you.

77 I f you consider yourself and others to be the same, if you consider the day of happiness and the night of pain to be the same, if your mind has become free of duality, then you have seen the Lord of lords. 0 Lalli! You have become the Self.

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78 0 madwoman! If you want to christen your body, name it after the formless God. Repeat that name and remember it: So'ham, "I am That." Get ready to proclaim, Aham saha, "I am that God."

Your "1"-ness will flee from you, and only Shiva will remain.

79 There is no God other than Shiva, no siidhanii other than ;apa, no technique other than meditation. The seat of Gurunath is between the incoming and the outgoing breaths. 0 Lalli! Sit there in peace.

80 If you can control your breath after inhalation, you won't be tormented by hunger and thirst and the longing for the sensation of touch. If you achieve this state, the purpose of your birth will be fulfilled. 0 Lalli! For this, become established between So and Ham.

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81 Never forget yourself, even in the heat of your youth. Never lose yourself while remembering your wealth. Take care! The river of sense objects is in flood. At every step, remember Shivo'ham. 0 Lalli! The subtle impressions left by desires are like a mighty elephant. Save yourself with the help of Siddhanath. •

82 Repeat the ajapii giiyatri of Hamsa. Give up your ego, and merge into the mantra. Through it, learn to eradicate duality. When you lose your ego, you become Him. When Siddhanath erased my ego, I became everything. 0 Lalli! The drop became the ocean. 83 As long as I failed to see my Self, I could not see the ocean even though I was drowning. When I held aloft the torch of So'ham, I saw that I was the ocean itself. 0 Lalli! Don't let the light of So'ham be extinguished, not even for a moment.

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84 I closed the doors and windows of the house of my body; and I trapped the thie( prifna, within. I bound him hand and foot, lashed him with the whip of Om, and locked him in the closet of my heart. Suddenly he merged into the inner Consciousness. Lalli attained happiness at last !

85 0 Lalli, you have traveled far to find your husband Shankar. You have wandered here and there seeking the all-pervasive Lord. At last, in the house of this body; in the shrine of the heart, you have seen His abode.

86 In search of the Lord, you visited holy rivers and holy places. You labored at repeating His name, chanting and praising Him. No matter how you struggled, you failed even to glimpse Him, and you despaired. At last, by contemplating His essential nature, through the grace of Siddhanath, you found Him. He was hiding within you. 40

87 Looking neither left nor right, I pursued Him. I pushed myself to my limits in my quest. Finally, I meditated on Him in silence and found Him within myself.

88 I traveled a long way seeking God, but when I finally gave up and turned back, there He was, within me! 0 Lalli:! Now why do you wander like a beggar? Make some effort, and He will grant you a vision of Himself in the form of bliss in your heart.

89 You may be blocked by obstacles, but never lose courage. Never try to satisfy the thirst of petty desires, and do not attempt to fast. You live now only to help others.

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90 When cotton is ripening, it looks very pure and it blossoms like a flower. They harvest the bolls and beat them with a stick. They card the cotton with a comb and spin it on a spinning wheel. Then they dye it and weave it on a loom. It is washed by a washerman and cut by a tailor. Soon it is stitched into clothes. After undergoing so much, that raw, pure cotton finally becomes a robe to wear. In the same way, 0 Lalleshwari, after bearing so much trouble, you became an enlightened being.

91 0 Guru! 0 Lord! I could not understand you. Because I believed I was only the body, I could not see the essence of my soul. I did not know that you are me and I am you. I did not know that we are one. Now my question is, "Who are we?"

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92 When the scum is removed from the water of life, it becomes as clear as a mirror and shines like snow. 0 Lord! Through Your will alone one attains birth and death, seeing and searching, power and helplessness. 0 Paramashiva, I wondered when You would reveal the Truth to me. But at last the answer is here­ I am not different from You.

93 For a long time, I wept and cried out for Shiva. I searched before me and behind me, above and below. But when at last I found Him, I saw that He was not different from me. Then my heart became full, my seeking ended, and my understanding was complete.

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94 I lost You out of ignorant attachment to my body. Then I wasted my time searching high and low. Finally I found You in myself. 0 Shiva, then we became one in bliss. Only through the grace and compassion of Siddhanath could this have happened.

95 Through the shanmukhi mudrii, my breath stopped for a moment. What did I see? As the inner flame was kindled, the inner lamp blazed and I saw the brilliant jewel of my Self. From the surrounding darkness I reached out to grasp that jewel and clutched it tightly in my hand. Now Lalli will never let it go. Oh, it is a j ewel of love!

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96 I left my country and wandered far and wide in ten different directions. Like a whirlwind, I hurled myself into the space of the Void. I saw Shiva everywhere and in everyone. When I closed all the nine gates, what did I see? Nothing but Shiva within myself. But outside Shiva there was no one. Even Lalli had disappeared. How amazing!

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As she traveled over the vast terrain of the Void, Lallllost the power of her intellect; Lalli lost her body-consciousness. And in this moment of stillness, she found the secret of her Self. Only by losing something can you really attain anything. Look at Lalli! From the mud a lotus has flowered forth.

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98 I spent my days idle as a vine. I spent my life in holy places. Finally, through the compassion of Paramashiva, I saw the divine light. Even though all names are true and belong to God, I kept repeating Guru Om, Guru Om. Sometimes I sang Om Namah Shiviiya.

99 When I developed interest in the name, my love and faith in Guru Siddhanath increased. As my faith and love grew, the darkness of the world diminished. Within and without, light began to shine. Lallllost herself in that light.

100 Trapped by the five sheaths, unable to meet You, I suffered. 0 Lord! By flinging aside the obstacles that stood between us, I achieved realization of You, the embodiment of Consciousness, and attained peace.

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101 Just as intense cold freezes water into ice, so the water of Consciousness contracts into three different forms: the individual, the world, and God. But when the sun of Consciousness shines, once again everything, both movable and immovable, melts into the one Supreme Principle. Lalli herself dissolved like that into Consciousness.

102 I entered the blazing furnace of the practice of yoga. Like ice, I melted in that fire of love. My inner impurities burned away; leaving pure gold. When the sun of knowledge rose, the dew of ignorance disappeared. When I realized my oneness with the name of God, my "I"-ness was obliterated and Lalli found peace.

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103 Everything has become new for me, since Siddhana:th changed my life. My mind is new, the moon is new, the sun is new. The whole world appears fresh and new as if rinsed with water. Since I washed my mind and body with the soap of So'ham, I have become like new. I am transformed. Now Lalli has become the great Shakti which leaps with bliss.

104 When Siddhanath applied lotion to my eyes, the cataracts that covered them dissolved. I saw an astonishing sight. Wherever I looked and whatever I beheld, I saw my own Self; I saw God. Wherever I looked, I saw my own Self! 0 Lalli! This is the true seeing.

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105 When my mind became pure, like a mirror free of dust, I found the Self within myself. When I saw Him within, I saw that He is everything and I am nothing. 0 Lalli! All your life you were deluded. Only Supreme Shiva is everywhere.

106 The Lord of the world exists in the form of the world. All forms, names, actions, and religions belong to Shiva. The entire world exists in Shiva, and Shiva exists in the world. Whether it is matter or consciousness, it is all Shiva. Shiva is in the name. Shiva is in the word. Shiva exists in His fullness everywhere. Through the glasses of Siddhanath, I saw and attained all this. 0 Lalli! Remain ecstatic, immersed in the Guru's name.

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107 0 Lalli, you became the entire universe, which appears as gross and subtle. You became the five elements as well as earth and heaven, light, darkness, and wind. 0 Lalli, the flowers you offer Shiva are also Shiva, who is your own Self. You are the offering of the fire ritual. You are the water of the oblations. You are the divine medicine which banishes all obstacles. What else do you want to become? Where have you come from? Where are you going? On what path are you traveling? Your supreme support is Shiva. You are a breath He has breathed.

108 In this body, in this world, I became well-known as that Lalli who, transcending all the coverings of the soul, pursued her essential nature and realized the Self, that Lalli who now sees God in all people.

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109 In the state of meditation on the serene Shiva, there is no difference between you and me. In that state, any talk is useless, and concepts such as family; caste, creed, religion, and tradition are futile. When you merge into the oneness of Brahman, who is your own essential nature, you forget yourself.

l lO

Ordinary people may consider me mute, blind, deaf, lazy; and negligent. But I have seen what cannot be seen, I have heard what cannot be heard, and I have spoken what cannot be uttered. I attained the experience of Shiva by merging into Shiva. How can I yearn to know anything else? Merging into Shiva, I have become Shiva. Now, where is Lalli:?

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111

In the serene state of meditation, there is no such thing as "I" and "mine." How, then, can there be "you" and "yours" ? There is not even a n object of meditation. You simply lose yourself. Only one conviction is left: Everything is Shiva. Once a person who is true sees the form of Consciousness, he merges into it.

1 12 0 infinite Consciousness,

brimming with elixir, You live within my body, and I worship only You. I do not care if I die, take birth, or pass into some other state. These things are so ordinary now.

1 13

Shankar is self-existent and ever-luminous. He dwells in the temple of the brahmarandhra and impels the prana shakti to flow. When He is the inner Self of all, whom does a man of knowledge have to worship ?

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The yogis who practice meditation say that God is in the head. The Upanishads say that God is in the heart. According to iiyurvedic medicine, the Self is in the heart and the mind is in the head. The Puranas say that just as butter is in milk, oil in a sesame seed, and the luster of a lamp in a house, so the Self resides within the body. According to the proofs and analogies of the scriptures and the experience of yogis and tantrics, God, or Shiva, is in the head, and from there he controls all actions through the inspiration of the priina shakti. Still, the general conclusion of the spiritual scriptures is that God is all-pervasive and is the inner Self of all. There is no fault or harm in all these opinions and proofs. In fact, the inner feeling "I am Shiva" arises in one who understands them clearly and lets them enter the heart. At this stage Shiva reveals Himself within. But when he has crossed the boundary of duality between God and His devotee, whom will the man of knowledge worship? The manifest Shiva is his object of worship.

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1 14 You Yourself have become the sky. You are the earth, wind, fire, water, day, and night. The flowers and other objects of worship spring from You. I long to worship You but find nothing that is not You. With what, then, can I perform my pujii?

1 15 In the experience of unity-awareness, the object of worship, the worshipper, and the articles of worship are all the same. This is the teaching of Kashmir Shaivism. Everything is Shiva.

1 16 Both the articles of worship and the worshipper are created by You for the sake of worship. You are the seer and the seen. You are the world and its Lord. When the movement of the prana shakti merges into the mind, all mental modifications become one. That state is realization.

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1 17 During worship, all the actions performed merge into the mantra. The mantra, which is the name, merges into the mind. When the mind merges, everything dissolves. Then the world of the seen, along with the seer, assumes the form of Consciousness.

1 18 Who picked the flower? Who brought it? Who is his wife? With which flower should which god be worshipped ? What food should b e offered ? What mantra should b e repeated? These questions are amazing to one who has pursued nonduality and attained the supreme state.

1 19 0 Lalleshwar1! No matter what work you do, your actions are worship of Shiva. No matter what words you speak, you are repeating only mantras. The activities of your world are your practice of the tantra. Whatever happens to you spontaneously is wealth.

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120 0 Lord,

You exist as me. All Your powers move within me. When You make me walk, I walk. This is the only difference between us. Other than this, everything that I am is also You.

121 If a seeker has the awareness of unity, knowing the ideas of "I" and "this, " as well as pain and pleasure, as one undifferentiated whole, he experiences the Lord of immortality.

122

When the mirror of my mind became clear, I realized the fundamental Principle in my relatives and others dear to me. I saw that God is not other than me, and this nondual knowledge completely destroyed all thought of "you" and "1. " I came to know that this entire world is not different from God.

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123 One with the awareness of unity may be asleep, but he is still awake. One with the awareness of duality may be awake, but he is really asleep. Understand this fully. Some people live in the world, but they remain untouched because they live immersed in the experience of Shiva. Others may dunk their bodies in the Ganga every day, but they always remain immersed in worldliness.

124 I taught my mind and the people of the world to stop telling lies and to renounce pretentious words. I attained the spiritual vision by seeing God in all, even in the midst of my worldly life. Now how can there be any hatred?

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125 I made the impurity of my heart burn to ashes in the fire of Shiva's name. Since then I have lived joyfully, with no fear that death awaits me. I have washed my heart in Shiva's love. I have cast out my evil desires and attained peace.

126 I live for the One who has manifested before me, whom I have seen with these very eyes and heard with these very ears. Now I understand that I am not dead, nor will I ever die.

127 I have cleansed my heart and made it pure. I am free of desires. I have attained peace.

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128 I kept trying to see the Truth, wandering from temple to temple, from mountain to mountain, from cave to cave, from one holy place to another, from east to west. But when I received glasses from Guru Siddhanath, that which I once saw as the world and human beings I began to see as God. Then Lalli: became happy.

129 The search for the Truth is difficult and subtle. Lalli forgot the scriptures and, through intense meditation, attained bliss. I saw the Truth, which is beyond understanding and cannot arise from reading.

130 It is easy to read, but it is difficult to actualize what you have read. It is even more difficult to realize the subtle Truth. I forgot all books and philosophy in the experience of the bliss of Consciousness. 59

13 1 It is easy to compose scriptures but very difficult to follow them. The scriptural methods for seeking the Truth are complex and subtle. I forgot the scriptures in my practice of So'ham. I forgot the texts in my yogic techniques. Still, I attained perfection, the bliss of Consciousness. 0 Lalli"! Now the goal of life is fulfilled.

132 People read the scriptures without discrimination, like a parrot saying "Ram, Ram" in its cage. When they read the Bhagavad Gftii, it is mere pretense. I have also read the Gftii throughout my life, but my life has become its embodiment. 0 Lalli! The pure joy of the inner Self is the most sacred Gftii.

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133 What understanding was I getting from reading? I decided to lead my life without worrying about books. Now I understand what the books could never teach me. With the shrewdness of a fox, I used my subtle intellect and conquered the lion of knowledge. I overcame infatuation, hope, and desire. I practiced what I understood and told others to do the same. Now I am completely victorious.

134 When my worthless ego dissolved, when I set praise and blame on the same seat, when honor and dishonor and my idea that I was a yogini burned to ashes, when my ears refused to hear either good or bad statements, when my eyes stopped seeing either good or evil sights, then God's blessing arose, vibrating in my mind. The lamp of knowledge was set ablaze, and the inner light burst into flame. But my mind knew only peace.

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135 Whatever I read that was useful I put into practice. Whatever was useless knowledge slipped out of my mind. Through the jungle of the world I dragged the lion of knowledge by its mane as if it were a jackal. I practiced what I preached, and knowledge arose within me. I attained my goal, and my life was filled with bliss. j

136 No words can describe that state. It can be known only through the power of will. And the one who has attained it is the only true knower.

13 7 Those who have experienced that state rank higher than the most learned of scriptural scholars. And they teach that the Truth can be known in the heart. 0 Lalli:, this is the knowledge of your true Self.

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138 0 Lalli!

Those who have known the supreme state see the diversity of the universe as unity. They say that the world is one.

139 Although those who are Siddhas have attained the state of Shiva, they can easily explain how to integrate the practice of unity in diversity with the traditions and the ways of the world.

140 Why do you grope around like a blind man? Be wise: Thrn within and see Shiva. There is no point in searching for Him anywhere else. 0 friend! Trust the words of beings who have become pure. No matter what obstacles they face in this world, these sublime beings work only for your good.

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141 You can worship Shakti or Shiva. You can worship any deity, even three times each day. But do not remain far from your inner Self. The Supreme Self encompasses all deities. Convince yourself of this.

142 Yearning for liberation, an ascetic or a sannyiisi renounces home and struggles to reach shrines and holy rivers. But liberation lives within the heart and can be attained through a Guru who is himself a holy place. The shrine of the Self destroys all sins.

143 Shiva does not become pleased if you merely repeat, "Shiva, Shiva. " The body does not become strong if you only say, "Ghee, ghee. " When you eat the ghee, your body is strengthened. When you experience Shiva, you know supreme peace.

144 The all-pervasive Paramashiva is within you. Chant His name. If you realize Him, you will lead your life knowing Him in all. 64

145 Shiva is all-pervasive. Never see one person as different from another. 0 scholars! Keep this learning in your minds. The awareness of equality is the path to expansion.

146 Whether you are a householder or a sannyiisi, follow the path that is right for you. When hopes and desires no longer torture you, you will know that you have understood That. Then your life will become pure.

147 What does a person have that is worthy of being given to Shiva? That which one attains from the knowledge of the Self is worthy of being given to Him.

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148 Put on the cloak of knowledge. Impress Lallf's words on your heart. Through the siidhanii of Om, Lalli merged into the all-pervasive light. Death completely died. Now Lalli: is free from old age and mortality.

149 I have always pursued Om. Even now I read it and practice it. It is one with the mantra So'ham, "I am That, " which consists of So, "That, " and Aham, "1. " I renounced Aham in the form of my pride and expanded to become perfect. I expanded into Shiva and became Shiva.

1 50 What is the use of thousands of words or discussions? I have only one thing to say, and that is Om. When my feet, which had carried me down countless roads, began to follow only one, I quickly arrived at my destination. Why will you people not heed my words?

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151 Why d o the people o f the world toil along different paths? Why will they not listen to the Truth? Lalli so naturally merged into that one word, Om. Who needs thousands of words and mantras?

152 I read and study only one word, and that word is Om, or So'ham. When I seized that word I caught Lord Shiva Himself. In the fire of that word all my filth was burned to ashes, and I became pure gold.

153 There is only Om, in the beginning, middle, and end. Meditating on it, I merged into it. Attaining Om, I became new. Losing this mortal body, I won the immortal God, who was right within myself.

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154 The sublime glory of God from which the world has come forth is sustained by the mantra Om. Though that world is both gross and subtle, a seeker who contemplates it has no need for any other mantra. Om has three letters,

and contains all gods and all other mantras. It is the sound of the universe. Om is true and perfect. Om is everything.

155 If a person focuses on the mantra Om,

which pervades everything from the center of the body to the cosmic sky, of what use are other mantras to him?

156 When the unsounded mantra Om arises in the heart, one can enter the abode of Shiva, the brahmarandhra.

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157 By stopping my breath and lighting the lamp of knowledge, I saw undivided Shiva, the embodiment of Consciousness, within my own body.

158 The fundamental support of life is the priina shakti. It is the cause of the arising and subsiding of all bodily desires, like thirst and hunger, and all mental modifications, like happiness and agitation.

159 The Siddhas have said, "When the breath moves, the mind moves. When the breath is steady, the mind becomes steady. " When the movement of the priina stops, the fickleness of the mind vanishes. When the priina becomes balanced, the central nerve unfolds. Then one's own essential nature and the light of knowledge manifest. The light of the lamp of knowledge is synonymous with the realization of one's true nature, which is nothing but the Self.

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160 The mind is the instrument of all one's actions. Because of hatred, the mind burns like fire and causes suffering and agitation. It is tormented whether it dwells on honor or dishonor. From the standpoint of the Truth, when the mind is free of modifications it is knowledge and nothing more. Chiti alone is the mind.

161 Like a galloping horse, the mind can run far within a few seconds. A man of knowledge keeps it under control with the reins of his breath and with discrimination.

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162 If your mind is stable, you are free from karmas. Then you may eat anythingi you may decorate your body in any way. You become like a person who does not borrow money. He is wealthier than one who loans it because he does not have to eat interest.

163 Although they spread everywhere, the rays of the sun cannot be reflected in mere rocks and earth. Just as a face is perfectly reflected only in a clean mirror, so the light of Shiva is reflected only in a taintless mind.

164 Using mind, speech, and actions, I journeyed to Shiva. I heard the divine sound of the bell of the Truth. In silent meditation, I saw the supreme flame.

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165 In this life, I was simple and straightforward. I did not become a slave of cravings. I did not sell myself to luxury and desire. But although I suffered in poverty, I never stopped meditating on my God.

166 I chopped down the forest of the six enemies and attained the nectar of knowledge. By stopping the movement of the priina, by conquering the nature of the mind, through the power of devotion I purified the heart within me and attained the realization of Shiva.

167 With great effort I rooted out the enemies lust, anger, and ego. With the same effort I gave up wrong identification, considering all objects to be ashes. As a result of this effort, and through the grace of God, I attained realization.

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168 I was absorbed in knowing the true nature of my Self. I had to struggle for it. With great effort I tried to suspend my breath in the solitary state of the knowledge of God. Then I plunged into the ocean of Shr1 Guru's grace and, purified, merged into Him.

169 When the fruits of my karmas were eaten up, the taintless Self manifested and my heart became pure. I saw that all actions, whether within or without, take place only by the will of Shiva.

170 Even though you have knowledge, become like a fool. Even though you have eyes, become blind. Even though you have ears, become deaf. Become completely inert, like a rock. Tell others what they want to hear. Listen to what they have to say. 0 Lalli! This is the way of one who has known the Truth by becoming it.

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171 Through the power of meditation and the power of concentration, one experiences samadhi, the fruit of all attainments. This is the realization of Shiva, who is Consciousness and the embodiment of wisdom.

172 I always practice the three techniques of karana. They are like three lakes that cleanse the heart. First, I always remember that I am a form of infinite Consciousness. Then, I always observe the glorious phenomenon of this universe. Most of all, I keep the awareness that the seven levels of pure Consciousness are my own Self.

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173 Those who insulted me are gone. Those who slandered me are no more. I attained the power to identify with Shiva. Now what do I have left? Happiness or agitation? They cannot affect me.

1 74 Although the river flows continually, does it consider this a difficult feat? Although the sun rises and sets, does it consider this arduous work? Does the earth grow tired while revolving around the sun? Is the moon exhausted from waxing and waning? Do the wicked grow weary of criticizing others? It is simply their nature, the hallmark of their lives.

175 Thousands of people abuse me. Let them shout. My mind is not disturbed, because I don't care what they say. Just as dust does not defile a mirror, criticism cannot stain a mind that is filled with the bliss of Shiva.

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1 76 I came straight here; I'll go straight there. What can crooked people do to me now? Because I have always sought God, I became worthy of His love. Now who has the strength to bring about my downfall ?

177 0 Lalli, you are mad! You have planted your feet firmly in your own primordial nature. How can you fall?

1 78 He who stills his mind through pranayiima, and whose spiritual practice has matured, is neither disturbed by hunger and thirst, nor tortured by the world. His life is fulfilled.

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179 Controlling the senses may seem bitter, but it is actually sweet. Enjoying sense pleasures may seem sweet, but in truth it is poison. Only a wise person can understand this truth. He who pursues his goal attains it.

180 A courageous soul who has the strength to stop the wind with his hands and can control an elephant with a lotus stalk can also protect his chastity and honor.

181 He who has renounced his oneness with the body is no longer a man. He is a great being. But be sure you practice true renunciation. If you emaciate your body, can someone else make you strong? If you starve yourself or overeat, you cannot attain a thing. You won't die from eating moderately. In fact, you will live long. Always think of God, and the inner window will be opened.

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182 Fix your mind on the path of immortality. If you stray from the path, you will get entangled in evil deeds. While on the path to infinity, befriend neither doubt nor fear. No matter what difficulty you have to face, never be afraid. Do not swerve off the path, not even as far as a sleeping baby stirs in its mother's lap. Walk straight ahead and soon you will merge into Supreme Shiva. Lalll followed this path and found Him.

183 0 Lalleshwarl! The power of God becomes a mother who nourishes a child with her milk. It also becomes a young wife who spends her days adoring her husband. The same power alone comes as death in the end. God's power is the cause of nourishment, enjoyment, and demise. It is difficult to know God when He is the storehouse of such infinite, opposite powers. A mother, a wife, and death are all His inconceivable game. 78

184 You can never escape death. Over and over, you have come to this world and had to leave. The world is only a guest house. No one can be a permanent resident here. You should return to the place from which you came. Set off on the path and keep walking night and day. There must be some purpose to this game of coming and going. Otherwise, why does it all exist? 0 Lalli! Creation and sustenance, dissolution, concealment, and grace are God's divine play.

185 Childhood, youth, middle age, and death flow like currents of a river. Why should we be drowned by them as ignorant people are? 0 friends ! Hear me and trust what I say. Seek the inner Shiva. See Him and be free.

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186 The great Kundalini Shakti exists in the sushumna. When it is awakened, a person spontaneously attains Shivahood.

187 I am insignificant, ordinary, and a creature of .this world, yet my knowledge expanded on its own. Because of this expansion, there is no way that I can die. In fact, for me now no one dies; both birth and death are the same.

188 In the undifferentiated Consciousness, the play of birth and death goes on. But ordinary people misunderstand it. It is simply the play of Chiti Shakti. 0 Lalli!

From the standpoint of the Truth, you can see that birth and death are one.

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189 Birth and death do not exist in Shiva, just as rising and setting do not exist in the sun. 0 Lalli, you existed before; you exist now; you will exist hereafter. 0 Lalli, you are Shiva. Shiva, You are Lalli

190 0 Lalli! Now you know

neither birth nor death. You are one with neither happiness nor hardship. Desire and anger have left you far behind. But you are far ahead of people who just talk. The experience of God's all-pervasiveness is astonishing!

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191 Everything seen with the eyes or grasped by the intellect, along with all the separate objects of this universe, becomes one with Consciousness and merges into the Supreme Void when the practice of yoga and the knowledge of the Truth ripen in the state of meditation. Then nothing remains but God, the embodiment of Consciousness. The state of the Self is serene and unchanging. That embodiment of bliss exists in the world of duality as a witness. This is the true teaching. Supremely pure, self-luminous Shakti is called various names, such as Samvit and Chiti. That serene Supreme Consciousness is the true essence of spirituality. In its contracted form, the undivided Samvit becomes all the various objects of perception. In its expanded state, it abandons its form as the objects of perception, becomes pure, and vibrates like the cloudless sky. This state is called chidgagana, the space of Consciousness. Yogis affirm that in the state of meditation there is nothing other than Samvit. 82

The scriptures have described this Samvit in its undifferentiated state as shiinya, the Void, shiinyatishiinya, beyond the Void, mahiishiinya, the great Void, nirvikara, without modifications, chitsvariipa, the form of Consciousness, and paradasha, the supreme state. The state which is free from the modifications of the mind and the agitation of former impressions, and which contains no dualistic knowledge, is called shiinya. When salt comes in contact with water, it becomes water. Similarly, all modifications ultimately merge into Consciousness.

192 Hidden within the highest Principle is the world which consists of the seer and the seen. This world of differences is called kula and can be known through speech and the mind. The undifferentiated state beyond this is known as akula. The teaching which unites these two and gives the vision of oneness is the highest teaching.

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193 Water freezes into ice, but when it is touched by the rays of the sun, the ice melts into water once again. In the same way, Consciousness contracts into this ever-changing world of matter, but when that matter is touched by God, it merges into Consciousness again.

194 I pursued spiritual practice after receiving Shakti from Shri Gurudev Siddhanath. Imperfection merged into perfection. The form merged into the unbroken unity of the formless. The great Void melted away, and only pure, unstained Supreme Shiva remained. 0 Lalli, this is the Ultimate Truth.

195 There all words and thoughts, as well as Shiva and Shakti, become quiet. Neither silence nor yogic postures enable you to enter there. In that state there is no knowledge, no meditation, no Shiva or Shakti. All that remains is That. 0 Lalli, you are That. Attain That.

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196 When tantra dissolves, the mantra remains. When the mantra disappears, the mind remains. When the mind merges, nothing is left. The void merges into the great Void. 0 Lalli, there you also merge. 0 Lalli:,

that Void is nothing other than the supreme state free of thoughts.

197 I entered the gate to the beautiful garden of sahasriira. There I saw the union of Shiva and Shakti. I began to drink nectar from the lake of ambrosia. Now I have transcended all obstacles. I have become free of pain. Lalli' is dead to the world, but Lalli is always alive everywhere. 0 Lalli! This is the grace of Siddhanath, the attainment of your life.

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198 Wherever I go, I see Him. He is everything in the universe, so how can I be apart from Him? And how could I exist without Him?

199 0 Lalli! Worship Shiva, meditate on Shiva, chant Shiva's name. Shiva is before you, behind you, in the east, and in the west. He is above, He is below; He is everywhere. Shiva is the bubbles, the ripples, and the waves of the ocean. 0 Lalli! You are in perfection, and perfection is in you. Om Shiva.

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Glossary

Aham: "!"- consciousness. Aham saba: another form of Hamsa. See So'ham. Ajapii giiyatri: same as ajapii mantra. Ajapii mantra: the natural, unrepeated mantra which one hears

going on within oneself without having to make an effort to repeat it. Akula: Shiva; the formless Absolute. Aniihata (lit. unstruck, unsoundedl: the Absolute in the form of subtle sound; when the hearing turns inward through yoga and meditation this divine, spontaneously generated inner sound is heard in the heart. Apiina: the vital force which flows in as the inbreath.

The downward-flowing subtle energy in the body. Ayurvedic medicine: ancient Indian science of medicine which teaches that good health depends on maintaining the even balance of the three bodily humors: wind, bile and phlegm. Bhagavad Gitii: one of the essential scriptures of Hinduism; a portion of the Mahiibhiira ta in which Krishna instructs

Arjuna on the nature of God, universe and Self, on the different forms of yoga, and on the way to attain God. the Absolute Reality, or all-pervasive Supreme Principle of the universe. Brahmarandhra (lit. the hole of Brahman!: a subtle center located in the crown of the head. The entrance into sahasriira, the topmost spiritual center. Central nerve: see sushumna. Chiti (or Chiti Shaktil : divine conscious energy; creative Brahman:

aspect of God. Dvadashiinta mandala: a point in the subtle body twelve fingers above the space between the eyebrows. Five sheaths: the five coverings of an embodied soul. They are: annamaya kosha - the food sheath which constitutes the

gross body; pranamaya kosha - the five vital airs and five organs of action, i.e., organs of speech, grasping, locomotion, excretion and generation; m anomaya kosha -

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the mind and the five senses of perception; vijnanamaya kosha

the intellect; and iinandamaya kosha the bliss sheath, composed of ignorance. Ganga: the sacred river of the Hindus. An immersion in this river is believed to wash away all sins. Ghee: clarified butter. Guru: spiritual teacher. Guru Om: the mantra by which the inner Self is remembered in the form of the Guru. Hamsa: See So'ham. Japa : repetition of a mantra. -

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Karana :

a Kashmir Shaivite siidhanii technique where the aspirant imagines the body as representative of the entire universe, then admires the glory of the divine in the universe, and finally considers it all as the divine Self within.

Karma (lit. action) : physical, verbal or mental action. Kashmir Shaivism: nondual philosophy that recognizes the

entire universe as a manifestation of Chiti, or divine conscious energy. Kashmir Shaivism explains how the formless, unmanifest Supreme Principle manifests as the universe. Keshav: a name of Krishna, one of the forms in which the

Supreme Consciousness is personified in the Hindu tradition. Kula: Shakti manifesting Herself in 36 ta ttvas, or principles. Kundalini (lit. coiled one): the primordial Shakti or cosmic energy that lies coiled in the muliidhiira chakra of every individual. When awakened, Kundalinl begins to move upward within the sushumna, the subtle central channel, piercing the chakras and initiating various yogic practices which bring about total purification of the entire being. When Kundalini enters the sahasriira, the spiritual center in the crown of the head, the individual self merges in the universal Self and attains the state of Self-realization.

Mantra: sacred wordsor mystical cosmic sounds.

Niiriiyana: a name of Vishnu, one of the forms in which the

Supreme Consciousness is personified in the· Hindu tradition. Nine gates: the nine openings in the body: eyes, ears, nose, mouth, anus and sexual organ. Om: the primal sound; sound or vibration from which the Om

entire universe emanates; the essence of all mantras. Namah Shiviiya: a mantra meaning "Salutations to

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Shiva." Shiva denotes the inner Self. This is known as the great redeeming mantra because it has the power to grant worldly fulfillment as well as spiritual realization. Parabrahman: the Supreme Absolute; pure, transcendental Consciousness. Paramashiva: the highest Reality, the Absolute. Priina: in general, the vital force that sustains life in a physical body; in particular, according to Kashmir Shaivism, the outbreath. Priinayama: yogic breathing exercises; the regulation and restraint of breath. Piijii: ritual worship.

18 Puranas, or sacred books, containing stories, legends and hymns about the creation of the universe, the incarnations of God and the instructions of various deities as well as the spiritual legacies of ancient sages and kings.

Puranas (lit. ancient legends): there are

Ram(a): the seventh incarnation of Vishnu whose life story is

told in the R amayana epic; a name of the all-pervasive Supreme Reality. Riddhis: minor supernatural powers. Siidhana: the practice of spiritual discipline. Siidhu: holy being. Sahasriira: the topmost spiritual center or thousand�petalled

lotus located in the crown of the head. It is the abode of Shiva in the human body. When Kundalini: Shakti unites with Shiva in the sahasriira, the yogi achieves the state of Self-realization. Samiidhi: a state of meditative union with the Absolute. Sannyasi: an ascetic ordained as a monk. San�· traditional garment worn by Indian women consisting of

one long cloth wound around the body. Self: the divine Consciousness within each human being which

is one with the Universal Consciousness. Shakti: force; energy; the divine cosmic energy which projects,

maintains and dissolves the universe. Shankar: a name of Shiva, the Supreme Consciousness. Shanmukhi mudrii: the yogic practice of closing the ears, eyes,

nostrils and mouth simultaneously with the fingers of both hands. Having closed out the external stimuli that normally enter through these organs, the practitioner then focuses on the subtle inner sounds, lights, scents and tastes which manifest within him. Shiva: the all-pervasive Supreme Reality; the inner Self of all.

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Shivo'ham: a mantra meaning "I am Shiva." Shri: a term of respect used in India as the prefix to someone's

name. Siddha Yoga: the yoga that is received by the grace of a Siddha,

a perfectly realized master. It is also called mahii yoga, or the great yoga, because it includes all other yogas - hatha, laya, mantra, and raja yogas. As the Guru's grace begins to work within a disciple, all these forms of yoga are unfolded within him spontaneously. Siddhis: supernatural powers attained through mantra repetition, meditation and other yogic practices. Six enemies: lust, anger, pride, greed, sloth and envy. So'ham (lit. "I am That"): the natural vibration of the Self, which occurs spontaneously with each incoming and

outgoing breath. By becoming aware of it, a yogi experiences the identity between his individual self and the Supreme Self. Also known as Hamsa. Sushumnii: the central and most important of all 720 million niidTs, or channels, located in the subtle body corresponding to the center of the spinal column and extending from the base of the spine to the top of the head. It is through this channel that the Kundalini rises. Tan tra: esoteric spiritual discipline usually involving worship of either Shiva or Shakti through yogic practices, rituals, mantras and yantras. The goal of tantra is attaining Self-realization through Kundalini awakening and through uniting the two principles, Shiva and Shakti. Tan tric: a practitioner of tantra. Upanishads: the teachings of the ancient sages which form the final, knowledge portion of the Vedas. Yajna: fire ritual. Yoga (lit. union): the state of oneness with the Self, God; the practices leading to that state. Yogi: one who practices yoga; one who has attained the goal of yogic practices. Yogini: a female practitioner of yoga; a woman who has attained the goal of yogic practices.

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