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Flirt Mastery How to Flirt and Create Hypnotic Conversations with Women

By Steve Scott

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Table of Contents Disclaimer ................................................................6 Part 1- Introducing ‘Flirt Mastery’ ............................7 What is Flirting? ......................................................... 8 The Right Way to Flirt ............................................... 10 Two of Types of Flirting ............................................. 12 5 Shocking Myths About Women................................. 15 What Flirting Communicates....................................... 26 Sexual Tension and Sexual Chemistry ......................... 28 Part 2- Qualities to Demonstrate ............................33 Your Attitude ........................................................... 34 19 High Status Qualities ............................................ 35 Part 3- How to Start a Conversation .......................68 Approaching Women ................................................. 69 Three Ways to Start a Conversation ............................ 70 Getting Her Alone ..................................................... 79 But What If I Just Met Her ......................................... 81 Part 4- Flirty, Non-Verbal Communication ..............82 Strong Body Language .............................................. 83 Reading HER Body Language...................................... 91 Three Hidden Indicators of Attraction .......................... 94 3

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Touching a Woman ................................................... 96 Touching To Flirt ...................................................... 99 Sexual Touching..................................................... 106 Part 5- Conversation 101......................................110 Introduction to Conversations .................................. 111 Conversation Outcomes........................................... 112 What NOT to Do During a Conversation ..................... 115 Conversation Basics- 9 Rules for Great Dialogue ......... 124 Humor and Teasing................................................. 132 How to Blend Teasing and Humor ............................. 137 Power Conversation Tactics...................................... 141 Finding Topics of Conversation ................................. 144 Mastering Your Conversation Skills............................ 148 Conversation Obstacles ........................................... 153 Part 6- Flirt through Storytelling ..........................164 Introduction to Storytelling ...................................... 165 Why Women Love Stories ........................................ 167 Crafting Your Stories............................................... 169 Telling Your Stories................................................. 179 Practicing Your Stories ............................................ 182 Part 7- The Push & Pull of Sexal Tension ..............184 What is Push & Pull? ............................................... 185 Variations on the Push-Pull Technique ....................... 188 Sending Mixed Signals Is A GOOD Thing .................... 194 4

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Why (and How) Women Test Guys ............................ 196 Ways Women Test You ............................................ 200 How to Handle Her Tests ......................................... 202 5 Tests to Give Women ........................................... 204 Always Be Testing Her............................................. 207 Commitment and Consistency .................................. 210 How to Qualify Women ............................................ 212 Advanced ‘Push Pull’ Tactics in Conversations ............. 216 Part 8-The Fun, Flirty Guy ....................................221 Being the Fun, Fliry Guy .......................................... 222 Showing a Skill ...................................................... 224 Cold Reading For Flirting ......................................... 227 Flirty Games .......................................................... 232 Part 9- Let the Seduction Begin! ...........................240 The Eessence of Seduction....................................... 241 Knowing When She’s Interest................................... 257 Rapport: Building That ‘Special Connection’ ................ 261 The 3 Rules for Rapport........................................... 269 The Timeline of Rapport .......................................... 272 The Next Step… ..................................................... 275 Part 10- Conclusion ..............................................277 Learn From Your Experiences ................................... 278 Calibration............................................................. 280 Final Thoughts… ..................................................... 282 5

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Disclaimer No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. The advice in this book is meant for responsible adults, age 18 and over, and is not meant for minors. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. Neither the author nor the publisher assume any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.

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1 Introducing ‘Flirt Mastery’

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What is Flirting?

T

his question may seem simple enough to answer. After

all, we’ve all done it (or tried to, at least.) Complimenting women, dressing to impress, and spouting off cheesy pick-up lines are just some of the tactics devised to attract a mate, but how much do we really know about the art of flirting?

Flirting is nothing more than a mating ritual…

In short, flirting is nothing more than a mating ritual, and it is not exclusive to humans alone. Consider the animal kingdom. Have you ever wondered about the songs birds sing? Is it just a mere coincidence that peacocks have such stylish feathers? What’s the science behind apes beating their chests the way they do? The answer is simple…it’s all a part of their mating ritual. While flirting techniques are unique to each species, the goal behind them is not. For humans, flirting involves the verbal and nonverbal cues we use to attract a potential mate. As men, we take specific actions to impress the female of our choice: humor; intelligence; material wealth; social status; confidence. Like the male ape beating his chest, these are just some of the signals we emit to prove our desire and worthiness to the opposite sex. 8

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This is the essence of flirting! What’s more is that it is mostly done on an unconscious level. Think back to the animal examples mentioned earlier. Do you think any of these mating rituals are preplanned? They are not. In actuality, they are all nature’s answer to continuing the life cycle, and every creature on the planet is bred specifically for this purpose, including humans. Like the animal kingdom, humans don’t think about flirting…they just do it. In fact, the only time we’re actually aware of our flirtatious nature is when it backfires on us. Every guy has been in a situation where a girl appears to be flirting with him, only to act annoyed when he returns the gesture. She spouts off comments such as, “You’re not my type,” or “I like you as a friend,” and he finds himself confused at the entire interaction. In fact, it’s not uncommon for a guy to misinterpret a girl’s friendly signals for a sexual attraction.

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The Right Way to Flirt Before we discuss how to successfully flirt, you need to consider one very important fact – women do not like cocky assholes. Showing off your hot set of wheels, running your mouth about how much money you have, or boasting about how important your job is may seem like a good way to grab a girl’s attention, but it’s not.

Flirting is a subtle way to show a girl you’re interested in her

Bragging actually portrays weakness, and it will do you more harm than good. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s delve into the topic at hand – flirting. In essence, flirting is a subtle but fun way to show a girl you’re interested in her. Just for a moment, imagine yourself talking to a girl for the very first time. She’s cute, she seems interested in the conversation, and even better…she appears to be giving you “the eye.” This type of sexual tension is, in reality, part of the human mating ritual. From it, we determine if the attraction is mutual, and in turn, whether or not to move forward. When flirting, try to incorporate all the qualities of masculinity that women find attractive (we’ll go over these later on in this chapter.) But for the sake of this

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discussion, know that women generally respond to men who are confident and in touch with their emotions. Flirting is your chance to demonstrate that you have these core character traits women find appealing in a guy. Perhaps the most important element to flirting is the use of your nonverbal cues, also known as your body language. Did you know that only 10 percent of communication is verbal? That’s right! The remaining 90 percent of communication is expressed through a person’s actions. With that said, don’t think that simply talking to a girl will make her interested. Two guys can say exactly the same thing, but deliver completely different messages, so you’re going to have to learn how to use your gestures, voice, and overall body language to make your message more penetrating. Another important aspect in flirting effectively is to know the difference between a romantic interest and a platonic interest. It wouldn’t be an understatement to say that women have an almost innate instinct to flirt, regardless of whether or not they’re genuinely interested in a guy. It’s a gray area that creates a sense of confusion for many men, and that’s why it’s important to understand flirting. Know when it’s for fun and when it’s serious by deciphering between the different types of flirting…

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Two of Types of Flirting Flirting generally breaks down into two categories: flirting without intent, and flirting with intent. As you can probably imagine, the first is more playful in nature, aimed at nothing more than friendly encounters with the opposite sex. Two Types of The latter category is more direct in its Flirting: Flirting approach, singling out one female in Without Intent & particular for the ultimate purpose of Flirting With Intent seduction. Let’s take a more detailed look at these two methods of flirting.

Flirting Without Intent We all know that guy. The ladies seem to flock around him, and for some reason, everything that comes out of his mouth has them giggling, blushing, and the like. This is the guy who playfully banters with everyone he meets. There is a positive and fun energy that he gives off when talking to women, and in actuality, that is what they’re drawn to…his energy. The most successful flirters out there do so without intent, and the reason is very simple…they appear confident. Flirting for fun not only shows those around you that you’re unafraid of their opinions, but it also enables them to pick up on your energetic vibe, making you more approachable. That, and it’s a great way of expanding your social circle.

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Guys who develop this attitude tend to have several female friends, simply because they give the girls the attention they desire. Now I know what you’re thinking: “I’m not reading this book because I need more girl friends.” On the flipside, we all know that girls travel in packs, so you never know who you’ll meet as a result of expanding your network.

Flirting With Intent As explained earlier, flirting with intent is targeted at one specific girl. In actuality, it is the beginning of the human mating ritual involving playful, back-and-forth banter between a man and the target he has set his sights on. By flirting with intent, you’re sending out specific attraction signals and picking up on the feedback you receive from the woman. As you can probably imagine, this type of flirting carries much more risk than the former. Flirting with intent puts you in a slightly more vulnerable position, as the woman has the choice of not responding to your advances. But like the old saying goes, “You never know unless you try!” She may very well be receptive! As a sexually-healthy man, flirt with anyone you want. Don’t make the mistake of not pursuing a specific female simply because she appears out of your league. The point 13

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is that you never know who will be receptive to your advances, and if she’s not interested, then move on. On a side note, make sure you’re not flirting without intent around a girl you’ve set your sights on. One surefire method of sending her mixed signals is to flirt with practically every female in the room. If your aim is to get to know her, then do just that. Keep your eyes on the target; otherwise, you may come off as being insincere. Now before we go deeper into basics of flirting, let us pause for a second and figure out what women want from you…

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5 Shocking Myths About Women Now before we discuss the specific tactics for flirting, it’s important to dispel some of the more common myths that guys have about what women want.

Myth #1-Compatability It’s no secret that compatibility is necessary for a long-term relationship to work, but you’d be surprised at how many people lie to themselves about whether or not their partners are right for them. They mistake their investments of time, money, and emotion into the other person for being true compatibility, when in reality, they should’ve listened to their gut and moved on. Perhaps you’ve made the mistake of maintaining an unsatisfying relationship “until things get better.” In truth, the two of you simply were not compatible. People stay together for two reasons: 1) They’re attracted to one another on a deep level 2) They get comfortable and settled with the other person (or the person doesn’t annoy them into breaking up.) While it’s been said that “opposites attract,” you really do need to have enough similarities with your mate in order to sustain a healthy and growing relationship. 15

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Know the criteria you want in a partner, and seek out only those women who fit the bill. One common mistake many guys make is not being selective enough when pursuing a woman. They look no deeper than the woman’s exterior, neglecting to ask whether or not her interests, morals, and goals are in synch with theirs. In short, they settle. But it’s important to know what you want. Putting more care and thought into the women you pursue requires discipline, but it will save you from dating someone who doesn’t match your criteria. It will prevent you from yet another bad relationship. This idea of knowing in advance what you want in a woman contradicts the popular idea of “soul mates.” While you may be too manly to watch Disney movies and Hallmark commercials (or maybe not), they’ve still had an impact on your psyche by making you believe in one perfect girl just for you. You may recognize this character by her name, “The One,” but abandon all thoughts that she truly exists. People are drawn to each other for various reasons, and instead of shooting blindly in the hopes of finding your soul mate, know what you want in a woman, and settle for nothing less. Your goal is to find good matches for you, and date only those women. Consider the mating ritual to be a screening process for potential mates.

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Your goal is to find good matches for you, and date only those women…

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This idea is really not a complicated one. Through flirting, you’re getting to know women and evaluating them based upon your preset criteria. Those who appear compatible with your needs get to know you better; those who don’t, lose out.

Myth #2- Women Want Nice Guys It’s true – nice guys really do finish last. But why do women find themselves drawn to jerks? The answer is quite simple…jerks are confident. They put themselves first, aren’t afraid to get rid of women who annoy them, and don’t care what others think about them. Women always complain about this type of guy, due primarily to the frustration they feel in not being able to control him. In short, jerks are challenges, and we all know how much women like challenges. The problem with jerks is that they go to extremes, but there is a middle ground to be found. On one hand of the spectrum is the untamed challenge of a jerk, while at the other end can be found the doormat known as the “nice guy.” This latter character bends to the will of everyone around him, goes to great lengths to please his woman, and tailors his behavior for fear that he might offend others.

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Separate, both jerks and nice guys are ultimately undesirable to females, but if their elements combined, they would be irresistible. There is no single rule or guideline for every situation with women, but there are some common themes or elements to consider. It’s important to develop a system that’ll work MOST of the time. Understand the root psychology behind what’s happening, but learn to apply it in your own unique situation.

Myth #3- Women Use Logic to Find Guys Allow me to clear this up right now female attraction is NEVER logical. It’s like buying something: Most purchases are made with emotion, and only afterwards are backed up by logic. When flirting with a girl, she won’t look at your attributes and make a logical choice about what a perfect partner you are. Instead, she’ll look at your behaviors and become wildly attracted to you. So many men think that if they look good enough or have oodles of money, they can attract any female they desire, but they’re wrong. While the way a female looks may be of primary importance to a guy, women are generally attracted to men via their emotions.

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With that said, you can actually program a woman into being attracted to you simply by knowing how to talk to them. This one is pretty obvious. As we all know, women have a much deeper range of emotions. For instance, guys can watch a “chick flick” in stony silence while the average girl will have big crocodile tears rolling down her face. Now I’m not saying that men don’t have emotions; we’ve just been socialized to control our feelings and remain in control of how we express them. Unlike guys, your average girl isn’t afraid to cry if she feels sad. And if she sees a close friend, she’ll squeal, run up, and give her a big hug. The biggest difference between the sexes can be seen in how we interpret the same situation. If you’ve ever gotten into an argument with a woman, then you know what I’m talking about. Men use facts and figures to describe an event, and we rarely talk about our feelings.

The biggest difference between the sexes can be seen in how we interpret the same situation.

Women, on the other hand, communicate primarily through their emotional interpretation of the event. Most of the time, they could care less about the facts. Here’s an example… Right now, I’m writing this section while sitting in a local Starbuck’s coffeehouse. About two tables away from me, there’s a loud group of women discussing the intimate details of their lives. One in particular (a woman in her late 30’s) is describing a nasty argument she recently had with her husband.

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During the last 10 minutes, she hasn’t said a specific thing about what he’s done wrong. Instead, she’s focusing on how his “inattention” makes her feel unloved. You can learn a lot from this observation. When you’re dealing with women, it’s better to communicate on an emotional level. Don’t describe your life using facts and figures. Talk about how the events make you feel. Describe your life in action words. Discuss the exciting things you like to do. When you make an emotional connection to a girl, you tap into that part of her mind that controls attraction.

Myth #4- Women Don’t Like Sex Yes, you read that correctly. Forget all notions you have about “nice girls.” Women want sex as much as guysProbably even more! The difference lies in how each gender views the act of sexual intercourse. Most guys are constantly on the prowl. We have been taught that a “real man” should bang as many women as possible. In fact, a guy usually gains a significant level of social status if he has a harem of woman at his beck and call. Women are the complete opposite. While a girl can enjoy sex as much as a guy, society has taught her to avoid being “too promiscuous.” If a girl has many sexual partners, the words “slut” or “whore” will be often used to describe her. And once she gets a reputation, her social status will quickly diminish. 20

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You won’t find many girls bragging about all the guys they’ve banged. They’ve learned that there are negative consequences to having too many sexual partners. In simple terms, they’ve learned that a “quality” girl doesn’t go around having sex with every man she meets. Allow me to say it again… Women enjoy sex! Guys think that women don’t enjoy it because they’re not always discussing it. However if you listen to a girl when she’s with her friends, you’ll realize how often this topic is discussed. If you look at the cover of magazines like Cosmopolitan, then you’ll see that sex is an important issue to women. Let’s face it: A major difference between the sexes comes down to an ability to restrain our urges. Whereas men seem to need sex 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, women can restrain their sexual impulses. The myth that women don’t enjoy sex comes from the way they talk to guys. Your average girl has learned to “not encourage” men who she finds unattractive. By displaying cold body language, she knows a guy will usually give up and walk away. That’s why it seems like a lot of women are not interested in sex. The truth is they do have sexual impulses…but not with guys who don’t excite them. Now take this same girl and put her in close proximity to a high status guy. When she’s around this man, you’ll see a

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whole different side of her personality. If the chemistry is right, she’ll suddenly become very sexual. She’ll laugh, she’ll flirt, and she’ll do her best to attract him. I want you to understand something about this last principle: Women enjoy sex as much as guys. However, YOU have to know the secrets for sparking this side of their personality. They’re not going to show it unless you know how to connect to their primal urges, so don’t try to logically attract a woman. Instead look for ways to create sexual tension.

Myth #5- Women are Attract to Guys Based on Looks While making an effort to take care of yourself is certainly important, you don’t have to look as though you just stepped off the pages of GQ to attract women. Don’t believe me? Well, read on, and you might consider otherwise. Let’s go back to the example of that guy. He’s not the most successful, and to be perfectly honest, you don’t see what’s so attractive about him either. Yet for some reason, he seems to be having more luck with the opposite sex than you’ve ever had. Why is it that he’s so good with women? Odds are he probably owns at least one of these six attributes that attract women: 1) Means 22

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2) 3) 4) 5) 6)

Power Fame Looks Exclusivity Personality

Most of these qualities are out of your control. While characteristics such as our looks and exclusivity are somewhat within our grasp, very few of us are born into power, fame, or the like. At the end of the day, personality is really what matters most (and it’s probably “that guy’s” secret to success with women.) With that said, you have to learn how to make your personality your top quality. By doing so, you can overcome all defects that you might have, and then some. The following is a list of what women generally like in a guy’s personality. While these qualities may differ among each woman’s preferences, it’s safe to say that this list runs the gamut of what women generally want from men. Read it over, and clearly evaluate which traits you have and lack.

What Women Want in a Man

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Confidence: I listed this first as it is paramount in overall attractiveness. Remember that confidence does not mean cockiness. You simply respect yourself, know your value, and display that through your actions.

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Independence: Let her go out with her friends, and you go out with yours too. Holding on too tightly to a

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girl not only shows a lack of confidence, but it’s a surefire way of losing her in the end.

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Territorial: While it’s important to respect each other’s independence, women like to feel important too. While you should never be possessive, don’t let another guy hit on her, and remind her of how beautiful she is every once in a while.

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Sense of Humor: Can you laugh at her jokes? At yourself? Are you able to convey humor in a way that’s congruent to your high status personality?

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Intelligence: You don’t have to be a rocket scientist, but an education and common sense can take you a long way.

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Expertise: Along with intelligence comes expertise. You don’t have to own a major corporation to display this trait; you simply have to be passionate about something other than women, and hone your skills in that area.

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Challenging: By having other passions in your life besides her, you are (in a sense) a challenge. Women like it when they have to work for your affections.

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Creativity: Find your interests and be able to communicate why they inspire you.

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Class and Culture: Put down the Budweiser and pick up a brandy (or a Heineken, at the very least.) Buy some good art for your home, and visit a museum every once in a while.

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Dominance: Believe it or not, women like to feel subordinate, so don’t be afraid to tell her where you’re taking her for dinner. Just don’t be a jerk about it.

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Thoughtfulness: Now might be a good time to put that personal organizer to work. It’ll help you remember

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her birthday and other tiny details to portray a thoughtful nature. λ

Aggressiveness: Don’t confuse this with “dominance.” Being aggressive simply means going after what you want, whether it be a date or a promotion at work.

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Good Body Language: Do you slouch? Stand up straight! Look people in the eyes when addressing them, and pick your head up when walking. Remember that 90 percent of communication is nonverbal, so make the most of what you’re not saying.

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Good Sex: As we’ve already addressed, women love sex, but there is a right and wrong way to turn them on. Never neglect foreplay, learn her “hot spots,” and be courteous by making sure she finishes first.

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Chivalrous: This is one trait that separates the jerks from the rest of the guys. Open doors for her; pay her way; be courteous of her needs and feelings while remaining a challenge in her eyes.

As you can see, women need a lot of things from men. The confusion comes from the double talk that women do; they say one thing but mean another. Their emotional side tells them that they want a nice guy, but on that same note, he’s not enough of a challenge to them (hence the reason why “nice guys finish last.”) What they really want is someone they can trust, who will not act like a complete pushover. Now that we’ve dispelled some of the common myths about women, let’s move on to the main topic of this course…flirting.

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What Flirting Communicates It’s no secret that men and women have two different styles of communication. In general, women can talk for hours at end, while men like to solve problems and come to a solution. Men are more tactical in their interactions; they view conversations as a way to prove their intelligence and feed the way they look at the world, but this all comes across as “know it all” behavior to women. Women communicate emotionally, and conversations with men are usually anything but. That’s when the arguments arise. When a woman opens up to you in conversation, she merely wants you to tap into the way she’s feeling about the topic. Women talk to simply communicate, and nothing more. Most men overlook this fact by giving her advice, and as a result, they come off as being insensitive. In reality, all they had to do was listen. So how should you communicate with women? A more effective method is to ask questions (or make statements), instead of providing solutions. Don’t tell her what to do. 26

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Communicating with women is NOT a time to give advice, nor is it a chance to brag about yourself. It may seem unnatural at first, but just talk for the sake of talking

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Sexual Tension and Sexual Chemistry The main focus of Flirt Mastery will be on how to create sexual tension when flirting. While “tension” in other areas of your life is certainly not appreciated, let me assure you that the opposite is true when dealing with women. Sexual tension is the backbone of flirting. It is the give-and-take of all interactions with women.

...Sexual tension is the backbone of flirting…

Truth be told, sexual tension is the precursor to sexual chemistry. At some point in your life, you’ve probably heard this term. For a lot of guys, this phrase represents the holy grail of all interactions with a woman. If you’re able to create sexual chemistry, then you have a virtual lock on getting her into the bedroom. But how do you create it? Well, there’s a simple truth about sexual chemistry. A woman’s desire for you starts WAY before you’ve even met her. During her formative years, a woman develops her tastes for what she specifically likes in a guy. So if she is attracted to somebody who is “tall, dark and handsome,” then you won’t initially create sexual tension if you’re a short, ugly, albino dude. Every girl has her own particular taste in a guy. You can’t control it and you won’t know what she likes until you approach her.

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As a result, it’s important to fix what you can and display a top-notch personal appearance. Then (once you know you’re “looking your best”) you can work on a REAL way to create sexual chemistry. It all begins with a complete understanding of sexual tension and how to make it work for you. Attractive women are used to guys acting nice and kissing their asses. In order to trigger her “attraction switches,” you should understand that deep down inside, women want a guy who presents a challenge. And that’s what you’re doing when you create sexual tension. A conversation should involve subtle techniques for pushing a woman away, and THEN pulling her in. One minute you’re touching her and providing a pleasurable experience. The next minute, you’re pushing her away and teasing her. The important thing to remember is that a flirtatious conversation NEEDS tension. By giving her mixed signals about your attraction, you’re NOT providing a way to resolve the tension that you’ve built. Now there is an important reason for creating this tension. At some point, you want to help a woman understand that the ONLY way to eliminate this tension is to take things to a physical level. In other words, with sexual tension, a woman feels excited and has conflicting feelings. She thinks you might be attracted to her, but isn’t quite sure. Only by taking things 29

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to a physical level will she resolve the tension that’s been built. Remember that sexual chemistry is an important ingredient to a conversation. Whenever you meet a woman, you should focus on creating enough tension that’ll increase her levels of attraction. Then sit back and watch as she works hard for your attention.

Sexual Tension – What is it? So how do you make sexual tension work for you? What exactly is it? The following is a list of many factors that you can manipulate to create sexual tension, and hence, sexual chemistry with a girl:

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Body language: Give her your undivided attention through your eyes, gestures, and voice tone, and suddenly take it away.

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Personality: Don’t pull a Jekyll and Hyde on her, but make her wonder what you’re thinking. Be selective when deciding which of her jokes to laugh at, but always remain mostly friendly.

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Humor/Teasing: Don’t overdo the teasing. Just give her enough to feel special and want more.

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Increase Attraction: While personality is paramount, always make sure to look your very best. This will also do wonders for your self-esteem.

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Be Challenging: Don’t pick up the phone every time she calls, and decide for yourself if you want to go somewhere with her. Maybe you have “other plans.”

The secret to creating sexual tension is to create the anticipation of an experience. It’s that emotion where a woman is waiting for the release of the buildup. At the same time, by creating an environment of sexual tension, you’re coming off as a challenge or mystery to the woman…and ultimately driving her nuts! Practice by giving-and-taking the above-mentioned factors, and you’ll be amazed at the results.

Why Sexual Tension Makes No Sense To best make this information work, you have to “throw out” the rules you’ve learned.

...“throw out” the rules you’ve learned…

Most of us were raised by our parents to be “good boys” and treat others well (which, overall, is still good advice), but to attract a girl, sometimes you have to be a little mean. You have to push her away, only to pull her in at your own leisure. In short, you’re making her chase you, and that’s always a good position to be in. If every man knew this seduction trick, there would be no more “nice guys” out there.

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Is Sexual Tension Related to Friendship? No. Just because a woman likes you it doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you. There are a lot of high-quality women with several guy friends, but that’s where they draw the line. In order to cross that line and break the barrier of friendship, you need to create a sensation of sexual tension. Only then do you stand a chance of her viewing you in a sexual light. It’s about Building Anticipation If you’ve effectively created an air of sexual tension, then you’ve made her feel as though she’s waited a very long time for what you have to offer. You’ve built up her excitement and passion by placing yourself just slightly beyond her reach. Every opportunity you’ve presented her with suddenly gets taken away, posing a challenge to her. It’s only human nature to want what you can’t have, and in this situation, she can’t have you…yet.

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2 Qualities to Demonstrate

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Your Attitude In order for sexual tension and flirting to REALLY work, you have to make sure you’re demonstrating certain qualities during your interactions with women. Let’s begin with the most important aspect…your attitude. “I think, therefore I am.” This saying holds true for all life experiences, but especially when dealing with women. It’s important to have a specific attitude when flirting, as this makes it easier to create sexual tension, and in turn, show the best part of yourself. In this section, you will learn a few qualities you should adopt in order to improve your attitude towards flirting. First off, never fool yourself into believing that you are beneath ANY woman. No matter how beautiful she is, she is not above you any more than the next person. At our core, we’re all humans; we eat, sleep, bleed, and more. When you develop the attitude that she’s somehow better than you, you start to project a LACK of confidence, and it will show through your actions. If you’re having trouble rejecting this mindset, picture what she’s like going to the bathroom or some other uncomfortable situation. This thought is anything but pretty, which is exactly why it can help create a more realistic, human image of her.

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19 High Status Qualities Now that we’ve covered the importance of a positive attitude, let’s move on to the qualities you should display when interacting with women. We’re going to cover the behaviors that will best help you create and maintain sexual tension. I recommend you review the following traits BEFORE each conversation with a woman.

#1 – Be a Catch As I already mentioned, women act based on their emotions, not logic. Think of any girl you’ve ever liked. I seriously doubt you put a lot of thought into why you liked her. It wasn’t due to rational thinking – you just wanted her! Being a catch is easier said than done, as most of the change must take place from within. You have to retrain your brain into visualizing a new and improved you, and this takes practice.

You have to retrain your brain into visualizing a new and improved you…

Everyone has good qualities (both internally, as well as externally), and you have to know yourself well enough to find them. To help guide you in the direction of a healthier self image, try some of the following affirmations. This may seem silly to you at first, but by reading and repeating the following

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statements to yourself, you will form the mindset that you are a prize to women. These affirmations are literally “food for thought,” and they will help you emit the qualities necessary to hook her on the emotional level needed for flirting success: “If she doesn’t like me, it’s her loss. Even if I don’t successfully flirt with her, I at least learned something from the interaction.” “Why wouldn’t she want to sleep with me? I’m worthy of having any woman.” “She needs my approval, not the other way around. It’s my opinion that counts.” “Any woman would be lucky to have me; it’s just a matter of me making the right choice of woman.” “I am a prize for any woman. They can see that through their interactions with me.” “I know how to please women, and I will…if they deserve it.” “I can have any woman I want; it’s only a matter of deciding who that is.” Pay especially close attention to this last affirmation. A powerful dynamic to have around women is to act as if you are the prize. As you know by now, guys make the mistake of treating women like queens and catering to their every little need.

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Instead of being at her beck and call, you should act like you’re the prize. SHE has to make an effort if she wants YOUR attention. By subtly demonstrating that you’re the catch and she has to work for you, you’ll literally have a woman doing everything she can to make a good impression with you. While this might seem a bit Machiavellian, this is exactly the thing that women do when they meet a guy. They get them to buy their drinks, give compliments, or establish physical contact. You’re just turning the tables on them for once. One great routine that I’ve discovered and implemented into my own dating life is to “steal their frame.” When you’re in an interaction with a woman, assume the role of being the one that is pursued. Have the mindset that all her actions are done in an attempt to get you to notice her. In fact, she’s trying to pick you up. Another great trick is to accuse her of hitting on you – then try to move things forward towards a seduction. Sit down and think of all the ways that women brush you off or try to establish dominance, and start using them yourself. Some comments can include:

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“Buy me a drink.”

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“Can we just be friends?”

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“You’re just trying to use me for my body.”

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“Hey, keep your hands to yourself.”

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“I’m not that kind of guy.”

Have fun with this one. It’s all about having the mindset that you’re the shit and everyone knows it.

#2- Be High Value Being high value is directly related to being a catch. In essence, you know you have a lot to offer the world. It is for this reason that you never give away your time or company for free. It has to be earned. If a girl asks you for something, ask her what she’s going to give you in return. For example, imagine that the girl you’re flirting with asks for a neck rub. Do so, but only under the condition that she returns the favor. Give nothing for free. In this same scenario, consider the possibility that she won’t massage your neck. What do you do? The answer is simple…don’t give her what she asked for. By giving in, you’re actually minimizing your value, but by standing your ground, you’re actually increasing it. Holding strong to your principles is what separates you from other men. In the animal kingdom, a male of high value is known as the alpha male, in that he calls all the shots. He eats first, 38

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mates first, and dictates the actions of the beta males (known in human terms as the “nice guys.”) In order to flirt successfully, you need to learn how to demonstrate your “alpha male” value.

How to Demonstrate Your Value

Attraction is directly related to status. In most social situations, a woman typically has the higher status. Men come up to them, buy drinks, and generally work hard to attract them. As a result, this gives women the power to pick and choose who they want to be with. This is an important thing to learn. In order to prove that you’re on the same level as her, you must demonstrate that you have the same amount of status as her. If you can increase your VALUE as a person in her eyes, then she’ll be attracted to you. On the other hand, if you fail to show basic value, then probably the only thing you could achieve is being her friend. When you first meet a woman, she’ll assume that you have the same amount of status as the other guys who approach her. It’s your job to show that you’re a cut above the rest, and you’re a person who is on the same page as her. This may sound like a no-win situation for us guys, but there’s a paradox…women are naturally drawn to guys who have equal or higher power to them 39

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That’s why you should actively do what’s known as demonstrating high status. In essence, demonstrating your value is a way to show the important qualities about yourself that you want women to know. There are different ways you can show your status. First, you can make her witness your status. For instance, one of the traits of an attractive man is that he’s pre-selected by women. You can demonstrate this trait by talking to many women, flirting with them, and generally having a good time. Women will place a lot of value on what they see with their own two eyes. Another way is to be notified by a different source. This is almost like a personal recommendation from somebody else which gives a lot of credence. A great technique to do this is to bring along a “wing man” on your dating ventures, and have him brag about your accomplishments. Finally, you can just tell her, and truthfully, this is probably your best bet. Showing high status can be done through a variety of fun little games, routines, and techniques. This includes, but is not limited to, telling stories that discuss the positives of your life.

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#3- Selling Yourself No, I don’t mean you should act like a prostitute, but you do have to be able to sell yourself. Remember that women are looking for a potential mating partner, so you have to demonstrate your positive qualities and believe in what you’re selling…you. It’s no secret that the best salesmen in the world are the ones who believe in their product 100 percent. This all boils down to their affirmation, or belief, in what they’re selling, and that’s why it’s important to believe in yourself. Doing so will make it easier to convey the positive qualities you have to offer women. It will also display the high social status that women find irresistible. But what is social status? As I previously mentioned, in the animal kingdom, a man’s values are based on his status within a social context. The more valuable you present yourself, the more you’ll display a naturally-attractive exterior

The more valuable you present yourself, the more you’ll display a naturally-attractive exterior…

What’s interesting is that while a woman’s looks are generally most important to a man, a man’s values are usually most important to a woman. This goes beyond what you do for a living. Even if you have the crappiest job in the world, you can still be attractive to women if you know how to trigger her attraction switches.

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By displaying a naturally-attractive personality when you FIRST meet a woman, you’ll be able to transcend any minor drawbacks that you have going for you. Just remember one basic rule: In order to be attractive to women, you must demonstrate that you have equal or MORE social status then her.

#4 – Commanding Respect Anyone who’s ever worked in the corporate environment has witnessed a man who commands respect. This person is usually on an executive level, and what’s more is that he knows it. They don’t command respect verbally, but rather, they do so through their actions. Simply walking into the boardroom is enough to make everyone beneath them notice. Commanding respect is the impression you leave for people. In a sense, you respect yourself enough to know that you are equal to those around you, if not more so. I mentioned the corporate boardroom, but you can apply this technique to your love life as well. By commanding respect from the women you pursue, you are controlling your dating lifestyle. You don’t make errors due to insecurity, and you know that you have just as much (if not more) to offer the woman as she has to offer you. You keep your stature equal to or better than the women you’re dating. As was previously mentioned, don’t verbally command respect from anyone, as this is a surefire way to turn people off. 42

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Instead, use the power of body language to display your high value. Don’t be obsessed and give too much power to the women you’re dating. Probably all of us have been flattered by a woman who found us attractive, but the feeling just wasn’t mutual….That is the attitude you want to build!

#5 – Be Unique Most first-time conversations get off to a boring start, but you want to begin seducing her from your very first words. Demonstrate through your choice of words that you have an interesting life, and tease her by saying that she “could be a part of it.” If she asks how your day went, tell her “it couldn’t have been better.” Maintaining a busy lifestyle (or the illusion of one) is exciting to women, as it poses you as being a challenge. When asking her about her day, be choosy in how you respond to her answers. If she says she’s “not bad” or “okay,” tell her (jokingly) that she’s “lame” or “boring.” This raises an immediate question about your life, making her curious about what you do that’s so exciting. As a result, she’ll desire to be part of your adventure. 43

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Just remember that there are no free passes. She has to earn her right to tag along.

#6 – Mystery Aloof behavior often makes a woman want you more, and the root of this is MYSTERY. Don’t pick up the phone every time she calls, and wait a while before calling her back. Have other priorities in your life, that way (when she wants to go out) you have options and other obligations. There’s a very well-known economic theory called the Law of Scarcity. Put simply, a good’s value increases as its availability decreases. This same principle is easily applied to romance, as it is only human nature to want something you cannot have.

…it is only human nature to want something you cannot have.

While you want to maintain a certain level of mystery with a girl, don’t use it to take advantage of insecurity. Controlling or hurting a person is never right, and it very often comes back to haunt you. By being mysterious, you’re merely showing that you have options and could walk away at any time. To maintain a level of mystery while in conversation, do not rush to reveal all the qualities about yourself. The idea is to make HER work to find out more about YOU.

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While you previously learned the importance of selling yourself to a woman, it’s also important to know the value of modesty. Instead of giving her a crash course in all of your accomplishments, discuss your life in vague terms, and let HER fill in the blanks. Don’t be too candid about how you spend your time. Direct the conversation by asking the questions, making the statements, and discussing the things that you want brought up. In addition, never reveal something about yourself that may make the woman disqualify you. Tell stories about yourself solely for the purpose of revealing your personality, nothing more.

#7 – Be Fun Women make an emotional connection between a guy’s demeanor and what he’ll be like in the bedroom. (This is especially true for younger women) When you act like a fun guy, you’ll make her realize that you could possibly be fun “in many other ways.” In other words, an exciting personality directly taps into the pleasure side of a woman’s brain, and yes…this is a good thing! One of the major problems I see in conversations between the genders is what each sex discusses. The mistake that guys make is to converse with women in a logical manner.

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They think a woman prefers to know only background information about a guy, so they steer a conversation towards topics based on facts (i.e. job, hometown, background, interests, etc.) While these are useful topics for rapport, they do nothing to build attraction. As you know, a woman is an emotional creature. When she meets a guy, she enjoys that tingly feeling of sexual tension. The guy who can engage the emotional side of her brain is the one she’ll be attracted to, and one of the best ways to trigger this response is to display a fun personality. When you’re a fun guy, your goal is to avoid all boring conversations. Instead, focus on being the man who can bring a woman on an emotional roller coaster. One minute, she’s laughing and having fun, and the next, she’s “turned on” and wondering if you’re into her. Being a fun guy can accomplished in a number of ways:

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Through hobbies: I cannot stress this enough – have passions other than women! This not only makes you more interesting, but it also provides for some great stories.

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Through humor: You don’t have to be a stand-up comic to be funny. Learn the structure of teasing/humor and poke funs at the people/events around you.

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Through leadership: If you’re confident in your self worth, you’ll have no problem speaking up around

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others. Don’t be afraid to give your two cents in a conversation! λ

Through stories: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? Why did your friends give you that particular nickname? Think about your life and what others might find entertaining about it.

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Through a fun routine: This kind of goes along with the first point about having hobbies. Don’t be the guy who goes to work, comes home, and repeats it all over again. Have other things going for you as well.

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Through who you know: Do you know (or have you met) any celebrities? Even better, do you and the girl have any mutual friends? Use that to your advantage by letting everyone (not just the girl) know what a fun guy you are!

#8- Leadership An exciting guy has many qualities. You just learned how one of the major traits a woman looks for is fun. Now I want to talk about a quality that’s closely related… leadership. Women want men to act like men, and part of displaying your Women want men to act masculinity is to display courage like men… and confidence. With that said, YOU have to be the one to take things to the next level. Ask any woman you want out on a date, and don’t be afraid to take things to the next level. Besides being the one responsible for progressing the relationship, a man also has to put effort into keeping it 47

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alive. One of the harsh realities of dating is that women get bored…really quickly. If you’re not providing a fun, exciting experience, then you run the risk of forcing her to find a guy who will! A lot of times, women will settle when it comes time to pick a romantic partner. Usually, this comes from a fear of being alone or not finding a comfortable relationship. The problem is, while they’re in a stable situation, most women secretly yearn for the guy who can provide them with a bit of excitement. Women want a guy who is not afraid to take action. This is another quality that stems from evolution. The “leaders of men” were often the most sexually desirable. When a woman would select a mating partner, she would inevitably gravitate towards the guys who were a cut above the rest… the leaders. So what draws a woman to a leader of a group? Well, that’s an interesting question. Most of the time, this type of guy wasn’t the smartest, best looking, or even the toughest, but the leader did have one quality… He could control the actions of other men. So how do you display the leadership quality? The best way to demonstrate this trait is through your actions. With women, you can’t tell them that you’re a

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leader – you have to show it through the things that you do. First off, this quality is illustrated clearly through the way you make decisions. Whereas the beta male waffles in his choices, the alpha male in charge is decisive. He’s able to quickly access a situation and make an instant decision. In order to “stand out from the crowd,” you should make decisive choices and have the confidence to stick by them. Another way to show leadership is through the way you handle social interactions. The leader is somebody who can control a conversation, but ensures that everyone is included. Furthermore, a guy like this is somebody who enjoys planning an activity or taking charge of an event. Instead of allowing others to make decisions, the leader is the one who everyone looks to for good times or excitement. In essence, he’s the focal point of any interaction! Finally, you can identify a leader by his body language. In a social interaction, the leader is somebody who:

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Makes strong eye contact with everyone

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Is the center of a conversation

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Moves at the front of the pack as a group travels

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Seems relaxed and casual

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Tells interesting stories that captivate everyone’s attention

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As you can see, there are a lot of qualities and traits that capture the essence of a leader. The important thing to remember is that you should always be the person who is in charge of your social circle. Don’t rely on others to take charge. Instead, be the guy who everyone looks to for an exciting experience.

#9- Be Positive It’s a fact that emotions are contagious, and one sour apple can ruin the good vibes of any happy group. What’s more is that people instinctually gravitate away from a pessimist, whereas an optimistic person acts almost as a magnet for others. This is no less true when it comes to flirting. When you’re meeting a girl for the first time, there is absolutely no call for pessimism. In a sense, it’s a selffulfilling prophecy. Through your actions, you’re showcasing your own self-limiting beliefs to her. Why on earth would she want to be with someone of such low worth? Relationships aside, being positive is an important part of your overall identity. You’d be amazed at the power of the mind. Simply by thinking positively or negatively, you can 50

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turn any situation into a good or bad one. Why not focus your mental energy on enhancing your life? What’s past should be left in the past. Everyone confronts adversity in their lives; the important thing is to prevent those experiences from impacting the present, and hence, the future. The point is that your outlook ultimately determines your success in both life and love. Why not predict good fortune for yourself?

#10- Abundance Mentality There’s a whole world of opportunity out there, and it’s yours for the taking. If you don’t sincerely believe this, then you’re already setting yourself up for failure. To change your mind, you must adopt the viewpoint that you have limitless options for your life and the direction it’s taking. Instead of operating off of a fear of loss, operate under a desire for gain. If you see a girl who catches your eye, abandon all fear that she may reject you, and go up to talk to her! If you’re constantly running from things that scare or intimidate you, you’ll be running for the rest of your life. Men who successfully use a mentality of abundance aren’t afraid to dump a girl if she doesn’t meet their criteria. In their eyes, she’s wasting their time, and it could be better spent with someone else. 51

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The fact is that there are thousands of girls out there, and until you find one who fits your bill, you’re fine by yourself. Consider the things that guys with little success never do. Talk to that hot girl sitting at the bar. Ask your boss for that well-deserved raise. Speak proudly about a recent success you’ve had. Challenge yourself to do the uncomfortable things that most guys wouldn’t bother doing with the mindset of “what’s the worst that could happen?” Trust me, you won’t die.

#11- Go Slowly You’re reading this guide to gain further knowledge on how to flirt successfully with women, which is a great start. However, be patient with the process. Everything in life (including learning how to flirt with women) involves learning experiences, so don’t expect dramatic success immediately.

...don’t expect dramatic success immediately

With women, it’s actually better to move too slowly than too fast. After all, who likes to be smothered? As long as you’re initiating the next step, it’s never too slow.

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If you noted carefully the things you can do to maintain her interest, then she’ll naturally pursue YOU. And if she doesn’t, don’t take it personally. The important thing to do is look long-term into the future. Think of practicing the mating ritual as a stock that grows and develops over time. Practice truly does make perfect, but you must commit to the cause. Most people fail because they’re not willing to put in the time or effort.

#12- Be Attracted to Yourself Similar to remaining positive, how physically attractive you are to the opposite sex is also a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take a close look in the mirror, and instead of focusing on what you don’t like about yourself, pick out the qualities you do find appealing. If you can’t find anything attractive, then you’re going to have a hard time seducing women for one simple reason… Women won’t be attracted to you unless you like yourself. Don’t think you’re the only guy who lacks self confidence in the looks department, because a lot of guys share the same problem. They use what are commonly known as Self-Limiting Beliefs, and these include personal statements such as the following:

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“I can never get her.” “I’m too [Insert Physical Quality] for her to be interested.” “It’s too late to change my life.” “I have NO luck with women.” “I need to be rich or good looking to attract hot women.” “All the women in this bar are a bunch of bitches.” “Fate will allow it to happen.” “I’m afraid of looking stupid if I try something new.” Sound familiar? If so, then you need to re-channel your mental energy into avoiding these statements at all costs. Words are much more than sounds; they’re mirrors of ourselves that we reflect back into the world. It’s time to change the reflection, because what you’re thinking will ultimately influence those around you.

#13- Be Trustworthy Gaining a woman’s trust is easier said than done, and unfortunately, she’ll never let you seduce her if she doesn’t trust you first. Remember that practically all women are socialized to never trust a man’s intentions. 54

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A fear of damaging their reputations (not to mention the possibility of pregnancy or sexually-transmitted diseases) makes them very cautious of men, sex, and the combination of the two. Lucky for you, there is a shortcut to gaining her trust, and even better… it’s easy! You don’t have to jump through her hoops, pass her tests, or anything of the sort. Truth be told, it’s the guys who go to great lengths such as these who end up appearing “untrustworthy.” So what is the secret to making her comfortable around you? The answer is simple…don’t work too hard. Put another way – make HER earn YOUR trust. A lot men approach women like they have something to hide, but you can gain traction by reversing this. Tease her and be humorous. Get her to believe something, and make her feel silly for being so gullible. Say something to her that could be interpreted as serious, then let her know you were just joking. Humor takes the edge off the sting, so tease her for a bit and make her laugh.

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#14- Being Unpedictable While it’s important to tease and be humorous, you do have to show her your serious side. After all, how can she possibly trust someone who jokes around all the time? For safe measure, mix things up a bit. Do something physically pleasing, then trip her up with something that’s slightly violent (i.e., hold her hand then tap smack her ass.) The idea behind this is simple: A woman should never be completely comfortable with you. The moment your relationship becomes predictable is the moment she starts to pursue other guys.

A woman should never be completely comfortable with you...

While you don’t have to act like a raving lunatic, it’s still important to be a little unpredictable and exciting. As you know, many girls claim they want a “nice guy.” The truth is that they want someone trustworthy, but with a dangerous edge. This type of guy is a bit of a jerk, and he’s a little bit cocky. He lives his life by his own rules, and doesn’t pay much attention to what others want. The funny thing is how the dangerous guy is highly attractive to woman. Primarily, this is to due to his unpredictable nature. When she’s around a guy like this, a woman never knows what to expect. At any given moment, he could bring her on a wild adventure that she didn’t see coming. 56

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At his core, a dangerous guy is self-centered. He lives the life that he wants. This man doesn’t allow others to dictate what he does, and he never supplicates himself whenever a woman makes a demand. To be more dangerous, you have to embrace the idea that women should pursue you, not the other way around. Create the mindset that you’re a prize, and then act accordingly. The first way to do this is to never fall for a woman's tests. There will be times when a woman will try to manipulate you and see how you react. A guy who lives his life on the edge doesn’t concern himself with these tests. He either ignores them or “calls her out” on her bad behavior. The dangerous guy has a ton of confidence about himself, so he’s not afraid of losing a particular girl. He knows that if she moves on, then there will be another to replace her. Another way to be a little more dangerous is adopt the attitude of “not caring.” While you want to do the things that’ll attract a girl, you never want to get sucked into the trap of trying too hard. Remember, a dangerous guy focuses on himself, and he’s not concerned if a girl likes him. Instead, he enjoys life and doesn’t get too wrapped up in any particular woman.

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Finally (and most importantly), the dangerous guy lives an exciting life. Your life should have a few adventures that most people only dream of. While you don’t have to lead safaris through Africa or start BASE Jumping, you should still try new things that’ll challenge your levels of comfort. Facing your fears is actually a good thing. When you do something outside “the norm,” you’ll be the guy who displays an interesting and exciting lifestyle. As you know, women like romance novels and soap operas, because they provide a glimpse into a drama-filled world. By have a few “dangerous” hobbies, you’ll display a personality that makes women excited. A dangerous personality is alluring because it never makes a woman feel completely comfortable. Whenever she’s around, you want to subtly demonstrate that you live an unpredictable lifestyle. A girl should feel that her place is never 100% secure. You have so much going on in your life, you could move on at moment’s notice.

#15 – Be in Control No, I don’t mean dictate every single detail of your girl’s life. Guys who turn out to be control freaks end up appearing insecure, needy, and inevitably, alone. Instead, become a guru at figuring out her games, and play to win. Here’s how: 58

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It’s no secret that women are used to being in control of the mating ritual. They say “jump,” and we say “how high?” As soon as you finish reading this section, I want you to abandon this behavior, because you don’t want to be the guy who bends to their every whim. Instead, do the exact opposite. Try gaining some leverage by telling THEM that you want to be friends at first. This creates a mind frame that leaves HER wondering what YOUR intentions are, not the other way around. Show a lack of neediness by ending all conversations first. By giving the impression that you’re a busy guy with a lot to do, you maintain control of the situation. This may go against everything you’ve been taught about being a gentleman, but trust me…it works. This is not about being mean; this is about keeping that sexual tension thriving.

#16 – No Neediness “Can We Just Be Friends?” How many of us are familiar with that line? Even more, how many of us have actually become “friends” with the girls who’ve used it on us? If I had to guess, I would say not many.

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The hard truth is that when a woman expresses her desire to “just be friends,” she’s actually rejecting you…gently. At the end of the day, it’s usually the needy men who fall victim to the “friend trap,” but there is a way you can reverse this. A great technique is to reverse roles on a woman and say it to her! When you state upfront that YOU want to just be friends with HER, you immediately throw her off of her A-game. As I’ve already mentioned, humans always want what they cannot have, and it’s no secret that women are drawn to guys who don’t seem interested at first. In fact, most are used to being catered to by any guy they want, so choosing to do otherwise makes you stand out immediately. To illustrate this point, let’s examine a lesson I learned from one of my favorite movies- The Tao of Steve. I feel that you could learn a lot about attracting women by paying attention to the core philosophy of the main character, Dex. He felt that success with women didn’t have to be that hard. All you had to do was follow three simple steps: 1) Remove Your Desires 2) Be Excellent 3) Be Gone The interesting thing about this philosophy is that it’s absolutely correct. Many of the principles and techniques I discuss in this course are directly related to one of Dex’s core ideas. Let’s take a close look at the first one. 60

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Removing your desires is probably one of the best things you can do when you first meet a woman. This can be pretty confusing for your average guy. We’ve all grown up with movies which emphasized that the best way to attract a girl is to reveal our feelings and try to “win her over.” Unfortunately, this really doesn’t work when you first start talking to woman. An aloof personality can actually be the thing that initially attracts a girl. In a way, she wants to be with a guy who doesn’t “need” a woman. A guy who acts too needy gives off a desperate vibe that is not attractive. Removing your desires basically shows a woman that you have a lot going on in your life. It shows that you’re high status enough to not really care about the opinion of someone you just met. The “players” of the world can seduce women for one simple reason – they give off a vibe that any particular girl is easily replaceable. If it doesn’t work out with one, then they could easily find three or four more. In a way, these men exude a “take it or leave it” attitude that’s attractive to a lot of women. When you first meet a girl, you want to act differently than other guys. Your average male usually hits on a woman from the moment he meets her. Instead of acting like this, you want to be the man who doesn’t seem to care about “picking up a woman.” This is 61

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one of the quickest ways to appear different from the losers who usually approach a girl. Furthermore, it actually helps if you display an attitude of active disinterest. You’re talking to her, but at the same time, you don’t seem to really care if she’s attracted to you. This kind of aloof attitude can often cause confusion in a woman. Remember that she’s used to guys always hitting on her. By not seeming to care, you’ll give off a major lack of neediness. Finally, I think “removing your desires” is one of the best ways to display a confident attitude. A woman wants a man who has options; she doesn’t want a guy who’ll date a girl because she’s the only one who likes him. A confident guy with options makes her feel special because he is a “valuable prize” that’s desired by other women.

#17 – Do Nice Things…on YOUR Terms What sets the “nice guys” apart (and inevitably, below) the rest of mankind is their willingness to give affection upon request. What they fail to realize is that when a woman has to earn her man’s affection, it makes him all the more appealing in her eyes. Don’t be confused; I’m not saying you should disrespect women, but you do have to be selective when it comes to giving affection. 62

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Don’t come out and say nice things; instead, DO things that show that you are a caring person. Notice things about her, tell her you were thinking about her, or mention a good pastime the two of you shared. These gestures speak volumes over the endless forlms of “nice guy” flattery. Some rules for giving affection are:

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Never give a direct answer: Unless it’s “no.” If she complains or doesn’t like something, turn it up a notch by NOT following her orders. Women love to test you for compliance.

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Controlling sex: When she asks you to physically progress, do the exact opposite.

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Send mixed signals: Tell her you want to be friends, and then kiss her. If she’s inappropriate, do the same.

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Don’t ask permission: This immediately puts you in a subordinate position.

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Lead the interaction: Direct the conversation, and choose where to go eat. If you want results, you have to lead everything from the moment you date her to the moment you’re having sex.

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Make her part of your world: …rather than the other way around.

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#18 – Be Different Growing up, we learned to shun those who were different. But we’re all adults now, and it’s safe to say that the more different you are, the more you stand out. This is especially true when interacting with the opposite sex. I’m not saying you have to shave your head and join the circus, but take a good look at yourself, and be honest when evaluating your unique characteristics. Are you a salesman by day, poker guru by night? Do you have any sports records to your name? What are your life passions? Humans are drawn to unique experiences, so go through your mental inventory of experiences, and don’t neglect to share the more interesting ones. Consider your hobbies or the things you’ve always wanted to try, and hone them. Be the dominant male who is unique in an alpha sort of way.

#19 – Be Challenging In case you’ve ever wondered why General Hospital has been on the air for decades, the answer is quite simple…women love drama. 64

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And nothing is more dramatic for a woman than a challenging man. That’s not to say that your aim is to fill their lives with bad emotions, but you should try to bring out unpredictable emotions within them. As I’ve stated repeatedly, women are emotional creatures. It is for this reason that we men must use teasing to create and enhance sexual tension.

... use teasing to create and enhance sexual tension

A challenging man does not feed into a woman’s need to argue. He keeps the plans he made with his buddies, even at the expense of her desire to go out. He is the master of bringing women through a broad range of emotions, and as a result, he gives them what they crave…drama. Besides being a challenge yourself, it’s also valuable to know how to challenge women. Rather than trying to sell a woman, qualify her by testing and challenging her. Make her commit to the qualities she’s mentioned having. Tell her what you want in a woman, and see to it that she fits your standards. All of this may seem unrealistic (and maybe even a bit cruel) in your opinion, but that’s only because the concept is probably new to you. The ONLY way this works is to believe that you are a person with high standards, and you deserve quality

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women. People only treat you with as much respect as you command. So how do you know when you’ve successfully qualified a girl? The first step (as we’ve already mentioned) is to select her based upon your pre-determined criteria. Next, she MUST show a genuine interest in your company in order to proceed to the next round. If she’s asking you questions, laughing at your jokes, or showing other signs of attraction, then she makes the cut. In addition to knowing what you do want in a woman, it’s also incredibly important to know what you don’t want. In some cases, knowing what you dislike in a mate can be more valuable than what attracts you, as it “weeds out the bad apples,” so to speak. It’s just human nature to focus on the negative, so why bring someone into your life with so many cons to her character? A side benefit of this list is it makes it easier for rapport. You build trust by demonstrating that you’re not out looking to bang every girl you meet. This separates you from other men, because you have standards about you want. A woman has to work hard for your attention. I saved “Be Challenging” for last, because I think it’s the most important of all. In fact, this entire course is built off the idea that you are a challenge. When you’re flirting with a girl, you’re creating the image that you are a high-status kind of guy, and she must win your approval.

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With that being said, let’s get started on the actual conversation techniques…

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3 How to Start a Conversation

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Approaching Women This chapter is going to be brief… Starting a conversation with someone is not a one-sizefits-all endeavor, as there are various factors to consider. Your environment, your audience, and your comfort level are just some of the aspects that influence a conversation and the direction it takes, so I don’t want to confuse you with too much detail. For many of us (especially you shy guys), simply approaching a woman poses a challenge. If this is true for you, I recommend you take a look at the Art of Approaching Course, which is the same material I used to get over my own anxieties about approaching women. In short, it helps you overcome your shyness by illustrating both the mental and physical aspects of hooking women into a conversation. It also covers how to get past that rough first couple of minutes when you’re trying to think of what to say (because we’ve all been there!) Now to help you out, I’m going to reveal three of my favorite techniques for starting a conversation in any situation…

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Three Ways to Start a Conversation #1 – Using Body Language Often you can “open” a girl without saying a word! In a social venue like a bar or club, it’s not uncommon to find women and men looking around “checking people out.” As a result, you’ll often find yourself locking eyes with a girl. During these moments you can either elect to approach or not approach. Now, one technique I use to “break the ice” is to give an over-exaggerated face that’ll make her laugh. Then, when she starts cracking up, I’ll approach her with a smile and start a conversation. As we’ve discussed before, women use eye contact to show their interest in a guy. When a girl gives you an approach signal, you can ease the tension by making a funny face, then approaching her. When you do it in this manner, you use your non-verbal communication to show the playful side of your personality. For instance, here are some ways you can start a conversation with a woman by making a funny face: 70

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Stick your tongue out.

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Give her a “pouty” look.

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Do a really exaggerated “pick up artist” wink.

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Demonstrate a demure and mock-embarrassed look.

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Display big “shit-eating grin” smile.

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Do a fake angry look, and then crack into a smile.

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Give a quick head tilt (like the “what’s up” expression.)

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Send a quick wave.

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Do a mock “in love” expression (grab your chest and flutter your eyes.)

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Do a fake a suspicious look (like you’re not sure why she’s looking at you.)

A great example of how this works is my buddy, Aaron. He’d be shocked to know that I don’t consider him to be the most attractive man out there (not like I notice those things), but for some reason, he does very well with picking up women in social situations. In fact, he met his current girlfriend at a nightclub a few years back when (upon locking eyes with her) he went to great lengths to make her laugh (at my expense, I might add.) I was leading a discussion about politics with the people at our table, when I noticed him fake-choking himself and pointing at me with a smug look on his face. Before I could ask him what was going on, he was across the room chatting with her (and getting some digits as well.) Whoever said “bros before ho’s” certainly never met Aaron. 71

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But I digress… A lot of you who are reading this are probably thinking to yourselves, “That’ll never work for me.” This all stems from an innate fear of rejection, but the truth is that most women would be flattered to be the center of your attention. And if you think about it, if she doesn’t appreciate you noticing her, you haven’t lost anything. What have you got to lose? It’s contact. It shows interest. All women (no matter how beautiful) have doubts about their attractiveness, so if anything, you paying attention to her confirms her appeal. Don’t be surprised if she looks away from you initially. Making contact with a complete stranger can be uncomfortable for anyone, but give her a chance. Odds are that she’ll look at you again, and when she does, make sure you don’t turn away! Instead, try upping the ante by smiling, nodding your head at her, or throwing a wink her way! Speaking of maintaining your glance, I’d like to take a moment to stress the importance of eye contact when dealing with body language. The eyes truly are the windows to the soul, and they help tremendously in determining whether or not a girl is into you. You’ve probably heard of “testing the waters?” Well, decoding a girl’s eyes is a great way to decide if approaching her might be worth your while.

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This is the BEST tactic for starting a conversation without resorting to pick up lines. Start by locking eyes on her. When she notices, simply smile, but don’t stare. You want to appear interested in getting to know her…not eating her for dinner. Simply look at her long enough to analyze her facial responses, and go from there. If she smiles back, approach her, greet her, and let the flirting begin!

#2 – Teasing Her Let’s be honest: Most women know that guys are only looking for sex. It is for this reason that teasing is such a great technique, because it sets you apart from all the other guys who’ve hit on her that night. For example, let’s say you’ve locked eyes with a girl from across the room. You smiled at her, and she returned the gesture, so you approached her. Tease her slightly by saying something like, “You seemed to really want to buy me a drink, so I thought I’d come say hello.” This should have her laughing from the start. The idea behind teasing your way into a conversation is to keep the energy level up at all times. Match her responses with something better. You’re not like other guys who are feeding her lines; you’re different, because you’re directly challenging her (in a friendly manner, of course.) 73

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As I just mentioned, most women are immediately on the defense when it comes to getting hit on, and rightfully so. You and I both know that a woman at a bar, club, or any other social situation is about the same as a lamb surrounded by wolves. Add onto this the social conditioning she’s been exposed to about sex and promiscuity, and she’s bound to be easily turned off. But using humor is a great way to break through her barriers, because you’re gaining her trust. By teasing her on your approach, you’re getting past her guards against any man who talks to her, because odds are you’re the tenth or so to take a stab at it (in just that one night.)

By teasing her on your approach, you’re getting past her guards against any man who talks to her…

Don’t be frustrated if she’s a bit stand-offish at first. Most women come equipped with a default barrier against men. With that said, you have a VERY limited amount of time to approach and hook her interest. The key is to find something interesting about her that you can comment on. Most women have ridiculous shoe collections, so a safe bet would be to start at her feet, and work your way up. Try throwing a line at her like, “Interesting shoes. Where’d you get them?” She will inevitably respond, but be careful of your next step! Instead of taking the “nice-guy route” and flattering her choice in foot attire, pause, and act as though you’re thinking deeply about what she just said.

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Use this time to think of an innocent way to tease her. Smile, and say something like, “If I was a girl, I’d wear comfortable shoes like that.” I will repeat myself by saying that the idea behind teasing is to come off as being different from all those other guys. With that said, don’t follow in their footsteps by commenting on any of her physical traits. How beautiful her hair is, or how nice of a body she has do not constitute “getting-to-know-you” topics of conversation…and she’s heard all of them before. Another thing to remember with this technique is that you should NOT be insulting. Your aim in the game is to make her laugh, not despise you. After joking, make a determination if she’s worth continuing the conversation, then go for the number. Some of you may be uncomfortable with the idea of approaching a woman like this, and that’s perfectly natural. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. But practice does make perfect, and a great way to get used to this technique is to ask random questions to various girls (regardless of whether or not you’re attracted to them.) Any female from your crush to your little sister will do; the idea behind this exercise is to become comfortable with talking to the opposite sex. Open up with, “Excuse me, but where did you get those (item of interest)? My mom’s birthday is coming up, and I think she’d really like them.” Doing this for a few weeks will eventually relieve the pressure you feel towards approaching random strangers. 75

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In fact, it’s not a bad idea to use your sister, mother, or female cousin in your approach technique. Consider the example with the shoes: After she tells you where she got them, pause to think, only to respond by commenting on how your sister would like them. You could use the excuse that your sister has a birthday coming up, and you need ideas for what to buy her. Using an important female in your life is a great way to establish a connection with a new girl. Another great method of practicing this teasing technique is something we do every single day…people watching. Utilize your free time by observing random females and the similarities between them. Anything from the latest purse to shoes is game for potential comments you can make while flirting. For example, a couple of years ago, Luis Vuitton handbags were all the rage (and no – I don’t follow this sort of stuff.) Still, I couldn’t help but notice these ugly brown purses strapped around the shoulders of women everywhere! One day, I was lucky enough to lock eyes with a beautiful woman while drinking with my buddies, and wouldn’t you know it…she had that handbag! Always on the lookout for opportunities, I approached her, and I very teasingly asked her if it was a genuine Vuitton or a knock-off. Shocked and appalled (but obviously very intrigued), she rose to my challenge and quickly defended her merchandise as being authentic. It wasn’t long before I got her phone number.

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#3 – Being Direct While body language and humor are never to be discredited, sometimes, the simplest method of starting a conversation is also the most effective. The one thing I recommend for this type of opener is to describe a quality about her personality rather than her looks. You want to use a statement that references her actions rather than the fact that you find her attractive. This will make it seem less like a pickup line, and more like an honest attempt to start a conversation. Now, during the daytime I often use a powerful variation of this opener. I simply call it the Serendipity Opener. The only difference with this conversation starter is you interject a comment about how you’re really busy, but something interesting about her drew your attention. In essence, you had to stop what you were doing and talk to her. Consider approaching her by saying something like this: “Hey, I’m on my way to [Insert whatever you’re doing], but you seem like a cool person who I had to meet! My name is…” This conversation starter is probably the simplest form of a direct opener. All you do is approach the girl, smile, give her a compliment, and then tell her that you “just had to meet her.” Depending on the situation (and your preferences), you’ll use a different adjective other than “cool.” For instance, some of the words you could use are:

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Cool

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Interesting

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Fun

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Awesome

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Intriguing

I call this a serendipity opener because it taps into a woman’s desire for romance. Many women want to think that fate will play a part in the men they meet. With this opener, you make her think that your actions are random. Typically your goal will be to quickly build attraction and then go for a number to ask her out on a date. Now in this guide, I’m going to assume that you already know this woman OR you’ve just met her. (Again, if you’re having trouble with approaching women, then I recommend you take a look at the Art of Approaching Course. Now, that you’re talking to a woman, it’s important to have the following HAPPEN…)

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Getting Her Alone You can meet women in a number of ways: λ

Work

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Bars or clubs

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Online

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Sports activities

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Social circles

No matter where you’ve met a girl, you have to flirt with her, as this is the ONLY way she’ll desire you. To maximize the effectiveness of flirting, you must move to the next step… You have to get her alone! To accomplish this, avoid having your friends tag along. Equally important is for her friends to not be included in the interaction either. People act very differently when exposed to the social pressure of a group, and flirting can only go so far when put to the test by others. Keep it friendly and fun at first. As I mentioned before, your goal when first talking to a girl is to appear different from the other guys, and to break through her natural defenses. With that said, save any touching or other forms of seduction for the second interaction.

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Find a quiet location in a relaxing environment. Ask her out to a lounge or coffee bar - someplace low-key. Don’t push for isolation, but suggest the two of you go somewhere “more quiet” to talk. A great way of convincing her is to say something like, “This place is loud. Let’s go in the other room so I can actually hear you?” Every woman wants to be heard.

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But What If I Just Met Her? Flirting can be done in ANY context, even if you just met her. In fact, the MOST important time to flirt is when you’ve just met a girl. This makes you seem like the potential lover, not a friend. Your goal for ANY initial meeting is to get her into a situation where YOU can be the primary focus. Friends, errands, or life in general will only get in the way of seduction. Even in a group setting, you can direct her attention to you simply by pulling her away from the group slightly. Give her the excuse that you “need to tell her something,” and pull her aside to share whatever that thought it. Not only are you making her feel special by doing so, but you’re also creating a separate, small world between the two of you. Now that you’ve gotten her alone, it’s time to start flirting. With that being said, the BEST way to flirt is not with your words…it’s with your body. In the next section, we’re going to cover how your nonverbal communication helps you with the process of flirting…

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4 Flirty, Non-Verbal Communication

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Strong Body Language As mentioned before, the majority of effective communication is accomplished without saying a word…through your body language. Maintaining a strong physical presence is important when flirting, as 90% of communication is accomplished through your actions and demeanor. In short, what you say and what you do are two totally different concepts. In this chapter, you’re going to learn how to successfully utilize non-verbal cues to your advantage when dealing with the opposite sex. Everything from the look in your eyes to your posture will be honed to insure you’re giving off the best impression possible. To start, let’s cover some of the basics of body language.

Eye Contact You can tell a lot about a person simply by the way they look (or don’t look) at you. Your eyes are the most important part of your body language. They never lie.

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There is one standard to consider when using your eyes during flirting. When you first make eye contact with a girl, hold it for at least three seconds. Anything shorter will portray you as unconfident; anything longer will make you look creepy (and we certainly don’t want that!) By holding her gaze for the standard three seconds, you’re showing you’re a dominant male. This may be hard to do at first, especially if you’re the shy type, but there are exercises you can do to get more comfortable with it. Try maintaining eye contact with anybody, regardless of whether or not you’re attracted to them. You can also try looking at the bridge of her nose or her eyebrows, instead of directly in her eyes, as she won’t be able to tell the difference.

Danger Zones to Avoid A girl friend of mine is constantly complaining about this guy at work. She says he’s always looking at her chest when talking with her (and making zero effort to hide it.) Most girls are swarmed by guys checking out their asses, breasts, and other “danger zones.” Remember – you’re aim in the game is to appear different from your male competition. With that said, be careful not to focus in on anything other than her eyes when interacting with her. A good rule-of-thumb is to maintain your gaze above the neck, since anything below it is generally off limits (until 84

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she gives you the “green light,” of course.) Her eyes, hair, smile – these should be things you focus on. Another “danger zone” to avoid when hitting on a specific girl is other women. Think about it: If a girl was chatting with you, only to give her attention to every other guy in the room as well, you’d be kind of confused, right? If you’re goal is to get her number, you must control your focus.

Smile It has been said that a smile can be interpreted across the world, and this is so true. A smile shows your sincerity, whereas the lack of a smile can turn people off to you. The bottom line is if you really want flirting success, you’re going to have to show your ‘pearly whites’. Practice your smile in the mirror, and keep doing it until it looks real. Body language experts have various ways of determining whether or not a smile is genuine. First off, the person smiling actually shows teeth. Mind boggling, I know; but you’d be surprised at the difference between a closed-mouthed smile, and a big beaming grin. Another trick used by experts is to examine the eyes of whoever is smiling (didn’t I tell you the eyes were important?) Nine times out of ten, a person who smiles without the corners of their eyes crinkling is faking it, so make sure to crinkle!

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Posture Women look for cues as to what you’re really like. Similar to your eyes, your posture tells a lot about how you feel about yourself.

... your posture tells a lot about how you feel about yourself

Just for a moment, I want to take you back to your childhood by mentioning the ever-famous Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. For those who weren’t fortunate enough to get to know this character, Eeyore was Winnie’s sad and gloomy donkey pal. If he didn’t tell you he was sad, at the very least, you could put the pieces together just by looking at his constantly-slouched posture. Okay, now forget about Eeyore. What woman in her right mind would be drawn to someone like this? If you answered “no woman,” you’d be correct. Life’s hard enough as it is; you don’t want depressed, unconfident people consuming your time too. You can use your body to attract the opposite sex simply by standing with your feet apart. It’s no secret that a person whose arms are crossed is very guarded, so make sure to leave your hands by your side (outside of your pockets.) If you’re having difficulty with this, try hooking your thumbs in your belt hoops, pointing your fingers down towards your crotch. When standing in a group, take up space in a crowded area by maintaining a broad stance. Inferior guys allow others to push them around, so hold your ground by not letting others take up your space.

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Walk tall, keep your shoulders back, and hold your head up high. Slow down physical movements, and when speaking, add in pauses between your sentences. When sitting, lounge back, sling your arm around the back of the chair, and expose your crotch. This shows that you’re at home and completely comfortable in any situation. It shows you’re an alpha male.

Walking Walking and posture very often go hand-in-hand, but how you move across a room requires a section all to itself. If you’re walking too fast, you may come off as appearing stressed out, anxious, and the like. On the flipside, walking with little to no life in you could very well give your date the blues. You need to find a happy medium between the two extremes. Walk with purpose, but move a little briskly. Your walk should command attention. A slower, nonsluggish walk conveys confidence, so try to move in a relaxed, fluid stride. Your movement should make the girl feel comfortable in your presence. 87

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Touching Your goal when first approaching a woman is to gain her trust and break past her initial barriers towards men. You also want her to chase you. But let’s say you already had your initial meet-and-greet with her, and now you’re taking her out on an actual date. The “red light” on touching has now turned to “yellow,” which (for those of you who failed Driver’s Education) means you should proceed with caution. Your goal is to express your interest in her, but not in a sexual manner. Don’t touch the stuff that makes you appear too forward. Some good ideas would be to touch her forearm when you’ve thought of an idea, or gently place your hand on the small of her back when holding the door open for her. Doing so will show her that you’re interested in being more than her friend, but you’re not a pervert eagerly awaiting the chance to get in her pants.

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Speaking Be careful of your voice when flirting with a woman (or anyone around her, for that matter.) Talk slowly and with deliberation – not like you’re hopped up on crack. Relax, and convey the rich texture of your voice by believing firmly in what you’re saying. A good side point to this topic is to know when to shut up. Only someone truly lacking confidence deems it necessary to speak over everyone else. Not only that, but people are generally turned off by arrogance. Your mother was right: It is rude to interrupt.

Final Thoughts on Your Body Language You don’t have to have male-model looks to be attractive to women. For that matter, you don’t have to be rich, popular, or any combination of the two either. If you’re conveying the correct body language, you’ve got all the tools you’ll ever need in both love and life. Through strong body language, you’re projecting a masculine, confident demeanor. You’re communicating that you’re interested in a girl, without seeming low status.

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Coupled with nice clothing, hair, and other physical features, your body language can give off an aura of sexuality to practically any female.

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Reading HER Body Language It’s not hard to read her mind – just pay attention to her mannerisms! This skill is very much learned on an intuitive level, but it is possible. Look beyond her smile or words into the whole of her body language to see if she’s really into you or not. When you first spot a girl who catches your eye, look for signals that she wants you to approach her. It can be something as small as a smile, or as large as a hand wave to come over, but you must learn how to recognize her “green lights.” Here are a few of the more basic ones:

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She smoothes out her clothing.

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She puts one or more hands on the hips.

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She points her body towards you.

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She points her feet towards you.

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She smoothes or touches her hair.

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She increases the frequency of eye contact.

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She maintains eye contact.

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She scans your body.

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She has flushed or rosy cheeks.

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Her pupils are dilated (a GREAT indicator, as she has virtually no control over it.)

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She tosses her head and hair back.

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She exposes her wrists toward you.

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She exposes the palms of her hands.

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She opens her legs slightly (this demonstrates an unfulfilled sexual need.)

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She sways her hips while walking past you.

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She places her hands near her crotch or breasts.

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She gives you a sideways glance.

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Her lips are wet and slightly open.

So let’s say you spot a girl who seems to be displaying one or more of these qualities towards you. What’s your next step? If you said approach her, you’re right! Once you two are talking, your new task is to hear what she’s really saying. It has been said that “actions speak louder than words.” It’s also ...Actions speak louder than words… been said that “talk is cheap.” With this in mind, switch things up by paying more attention to how a woman acts, as opposed to the words coming out of her mouth. You can sense when there’s genuine emotion behind what a person is saying. To get better at this, go somewhere where you can observe people (I’ve always found a local coffee shop to be a good spot.) Watch people as they interact, and jot down some notes about their:

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Arms

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Hips

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Heads

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Facial expressions

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Overall attitude

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Emotions

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Eyes

If you’re confused at how to go about doing this, consider this example: I’m actually sitting at a local coffee shop at this very moment. Across the room are a guy and girl who appear to be on a date of some sort. If they aren’t, then you could’ve fooled me, because she is all over him. Her eyes are glued to every move he makes. She’s responding to him by throwing her head back and laughing at every word coming out of his mouth. Now she’s got her hand on his bicep, and is leaning in very close to convey a certain message to him. This guy’s gonna get lucky (if he hasn’t already!) Over time, you’ll get a feel for people’s body language. Listen to the inflections of their voices. Focus on how she’s saying something, not what she’s saying. I have absolutely no idea what this couple in the coffee shop is talking about, but whatever it is, there’s a lot of attraction behind it. Observing others is not an OPTIONAL exercise; if you want to get better at reading (and revealing) body language, you must practice. You can learn a lot by observing the actions of others.

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Three Hidden Indicators of Attraction Once again, the eyes come to the rescue! If you can learn to see behind a woman’s eyes, you will never question her interest in you again. The following are three looks a woman always gives when she’s into a guy:

The Vertical Scan As you can probably guess, this is when the woman’s eyes make an up-and-down scan over your entire body. She may start from the top and work her way down, or the exact opposite, but if she does this to you, be assured of one thing…she sees something she likes. Confirm her suspicions by showing her you have something else to offer, and tease her a little. This kind of look is generally very quick, so you may miss it if you’re not paying attention.

The Horizontal Scan While the vertical scan is more of an “investigative” type of glance, the horizontal is more seductive in nature.

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When a woman looks you over left to right, this means she’s already established a certain comfort level with you. You can also be reasonably assured that she wants you to kiss her. Look her deep in her eyes, and if she flicks her eyes back and forth on yours, go for it.

Dilated Pupils As I just mentioned, when a person is excited, there are certain physiological responses they cannot control. Dilated pupils are one of these responses. It’s an unconscious action that’s a surefire giveaway that her attraction is mutual. The wider that little black dot in the middle of her eye gets, the more she’s into you (unless, of course, she high on something at the time.)

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Touching a Woman Some people believe that you can transfer energy when you touch another person. Think of how true this need is when we’re children. Whenever hurt or sad, we seek out the touch of those closest to us. When talking to women, you want to deepen the connection by touching her. At first, you’ll touch the “safe areas” like her shoulder, forearm, or hand, all of which can easily increase attraction. If she touches you back, this is a signal that she is comfortable with you being in her personal space. Once you’ve become more acquainted with her, try upping the ante a bit by touching areas that are more intrusive. The elbows, back, hips, thighs, and waist are generally a good bet during this phase. Just remember that she will require a level of trust and comfort before you can touch these areas. Finally you have the areas that require a lot of comfort, such as her neck, chest, and inner thigh. Look to see if she retreats when you touch these. If she flinches, stop, but if she seems comfortable with this touch, it’s a safe bet that she’s ready to be kissed. Touching is all about your energy. If you’re nervous or scared, she will easily pick up on this vibe.

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Kissing and touching should be part of a fun, energetic experience. You want to touch with confidence, and keep things positive. If done correctly, you can fill her with this positive energy.

Rules of Touching The root of sexual attraction comes from establishing physical contact. If you’re simply using routines and gimmicks, you might be attracting her, but you’re not connecting to the sensual side of her personality. To make her attracted, you have to establish a pattern of touching. Here are a few general rules for touching women: #1 – Touch Everybody: The last thing you want to be is one of those creepy types that groups only on women. In order to establish clout with everyone, you should act comfortable with everyone. This includes men too. #2 – Be Friendly: When you first touch people, you want to do so in a way that doesn’t seem threatening. This can include pats on the arm or shoulder, and handshakes or high fives are good ideas too. The best way to touch is to be a naturally outgoing guy who uses touching as a way to have fun and be social. #3 – Be Immediate: The best way to establish a touching pattern is to initiate it from the moment you enter

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the group. This will make your actions seem more natural and congruent to your overall personality. #4 – Make It Part of your Game: When meeting women, you should have routines that emphasize social touching. Whether it’s a personality test or routine, you want to establish a physical contact in a fun manner. You can also use stories that’ll talk about something specifically. #5 – Test Things Out: One way to test a woman’s level of attraction is to touch her. If you see her reciprocating and touching you back, then you know she’s into you. If she shies away from your touch, then you know that she’s probably not that interested in you…and it’s her loss.

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Touching To Flirt Touching is a great way to build attraction and create a seductive atmosphere. Your goal with touching her is to build attraction by letting her know there is physical commonality you have with her. Touching is also the best way to tell if she likes you back. For a playful start, consider thumb-wrestling her (she’ll laugh if you cheat!) The key is to never direct attention at the touching. It should seem like a natural part of the conversation. If your moves are jerky and hesitant, then you’ll hurt rather than help your chances of success. The process should be gradual, without sudden movements or big moves. You want to make it part of your overall game. In a way, your touching should slowly warm up her emotional oven. Remember that touching is not defined by a single moment – it’s a non-verbal expression of your mutual desire. One mistake that guys make is to hesitate when it comes time for touching. What I’ve discovered is it’s better to start out doing it TOO much rather then TOO little. Overtime, you’ll learn the subtle art of touching and how it should be used within a social context.

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To help you out, here is a great model which breaks down how you should advance the touching with women you’ve met:

#1- Social Touching The first step of touching is how you would normally talk to people that you’ve met. In fact, I recommend you do this type of touching with everyone that you meet. The more you do this in a social setting, the more natural it appears. For instance, some of the social touching you can do includes: λ

Shaking hands

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Touching the arms to prove a point

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Using others’ hands to demonstrate a personality test

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Giving high fives or “the fist tap” to people

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Brushing arms

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Standing next to a girl, letting your body contact her

#2- Accidental Touching Accidental touching goes beyond social touching. It is not something that would be done with people that you barely know. When you “accidentally” touch a woman, it should not be obvious. When it happens, she should be left wondering if it was an accident…or something that you did on purpose.

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In addition, some of these actions will involve a pretense for touching her. While you’re not “making a move” on her, this technique still goes beyond the casual way that you would touch a stranger. Here are some ways you can “accidentally” touch her: λ

Sit next to each other with your body touching hers.

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Stand in close proximity to each other with your bodies touching.

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Brush away something from her face (even if there’s nothing to brush off, pretend that there is!)

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Touch her sides or stomach when you’re playfully telling a story.

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Touch some part of her body to discuss an accessory she’s wearing (necklace, earring, bracelet, etc.)

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Talk with your faces close together if you’re in a loud venue.

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Lightly touch the small of her back when you’re telling a story.

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Playfully banter and use physical contact to tease her.

#3- Obvious Touching Once you’ve grown comfortable with touching her, you’ll reach a moment when you can progress to obvious, overt signs of your intentions. With these signs, you’re revealing that there is a physical connection, and some signs of sexual attraction.

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With that said, “obvious touching” should only be established when you’ve passed the qualification stage, and you’re building comfort. Some “obvious” touching can include: λ

Walking arm-in-arm with her

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Holding hands

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Having her sit on your lap

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Having your arm around her

#4- Sensual Touching The final level of touching is when you’re about to (or already have) kissed the woman. By touching her in a sensual manner, you’re giving an indication that things will be moving towards an intimate encounter. Knowing this, it is crucial that you know her intentions are the same as yours. This type of touching should be complete with strong and direct eye contact, and it generally works best in a comfortable environment. Sensual touching can include the following:

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Smelling her hair

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Nuzzling her neck, shoulders, or similar parts

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Stroking her face with your hands

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Holding or caressing her face

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Pulling her close towards you

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This touching progression model should give a great example of how to quickly become more intimate with women that you meet. If you use this with every girl you encounter, you’ll turn a lot of them into incredible encounters.

#5- More on Touching There is no standard for how to go about touching a girl. So much depends on outside factors, such as your environment, comfort level, or the personalities involved. With that said, you must remain flexible in this situation. This is important to realize, because some people cringe at the idea of being touched. Ethnicity (and background) really makes a difference in how certain people regard touching. Americans and British folks, for example, generally require a two-foot buffer between themselves and others in order to be comfortable. If a Hispanic or Italian person (two nationalities that are incredibly comfortable touching) invades this space, they’re likely to feel like their personal space is being invaded. Going into someone’s personal space is part of touching; the problem is that men touch WAY too soon into an interaction. We tend to grope, and some lack any and all self-control that is necessary for effective physical contact. The idea is to make her desire more of your touch…not run for her life.

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The difference between what’s appropriate or not is really subjective. Start by lightly touching her hand or lower back as you move by, or offer your arm as you cross the street. Build up her anticipation as you touch her. Tease part of her mind, making her wonder what it’s like for you to touch her in other areas. Besides the thumb-wrestling example given above, a good excuse for you to touch her initially is palm reading. Most people don’t know that (besides the obvious areas), the palms are erogenous zones (in other words, they get “turned on.”) Not only does this technique allow the chance to touch a sensual part on her body, but it also gives you an opportunity to show her how fun you are. Another often-overlooked erogenous zone is the hair. This is an excellent place to touch her, as every gentle stroke of your hand is sure to send shivers down her spine. Slowly move your hand towards her head, and evaluate if she’s open to the touch or not. If she flinches, she’s probably not ready for any further physical action. But hey – it was worth a try. Women are very sensitive to touch, and it’s never a neutral thing with them. It either has a positive or negative impact on her. You want her to beg for more. When the two of you have finally established a comfort level with one another, you want to increase the intensity of your touching…slowly. Touch her slightly less than what she wants. Stroke her hair or cheek, see the glimmer in

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her eyes, and then take your hand away leaving her wanting more. Don’t touch her intimate areas until you receive a clear sign that she’s into it. If you can help it, try holding out on touching her sexually until you know you’ve got it in the bag. This requires a lot of self control, but if you can do it, you will stand out from the other guys…and she’ll be in your lap in no time. I shouldn’t have to mention this, but for fair measure, I will. Don’t do painful touching. A woman’s first concern is if you’re a safe guy. Be aware of this, and show some restraint.

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Sexual Touching I would be remiss if I didn’t cover ALL the aspects of touching when it comes to flirting and attraction. The following ways to touch women go beyond simple flirting – these are more about seduction. You’ll find that as you flirt and build attraction, your interactions will naturally move towards sex, so it’s important to know how to touch a woman in order to make this happen. Just remember that the following techniques for sexual touching should only be done if you’re receiving positive feedback from the woman that it’s time to physically escalate!

...sexual touching should only be done if you’re receiving positive feedback from the woman

If it’s been a few dates (or things have become very comfortable), and you sense an underlying passion, try touching: λ λ

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The back of her neck (this is an excellent erogenous zone) The base of her neck

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Her face (try brushing the back of your hand against her cheek)

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Her earlobes (gently nibble or whisper in her ear to drive her nuts)

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Her lips (kiss them, or throw her off guard by gently tracing them with your finger)

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Her feet (which have a ton of nerve ending)

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Besides these individual body parts, give her entire body a treatment with a sensual massage. Women usually know what these mean, so her response to it will be a good indicator of her intentions. When she’s comfortable with your touch, try a neck massage, but leave it to that area only. A lot of this is like being a kid looking for any reason to touch a girl, only instead of pulling her hair, you’re making her feel good. In fact, what better way to tap into her physical and emotional needs than by tickling her? If she resists, tease her by telling her she’s no fun.

Foreplay So many girls complain to me about one thing…guys don’t like foreplay. When turning a woman on, you need to remember to move slowly. In fact, it’s best to wait as long as you can before directly stimulating her. If you think about it, foreplay is really about one long period of teasing. You can accomplish this by touching areas that are often ignored (after all, her nipples aren’t squeeze balls that you constantly pull and tug on.) By paying attention to all of her body (not just the obvious parts), you’re successfully achieving foreplay. 107

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To really turn her on, tune into the following body parts: λ

The undersides of her arms

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Her cleavage

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Her “perfume” areas (temple, wrist, and neck)

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The back of her knees

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Inside her elbows

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Sides of her ankle

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Her wrists

You get the idea. Women like to be touched all over…especially during sex. Have her show you where she likes to be touched, and leave her wanting more. You don’t have to have the marathon sex journey.

Getting Lucky So you’ve succeeded in a heavy session of foreplay. Now what? At this point, you don’t want to ruin things by going too far, too fast. Don’t forget that in the back of her mind is a voice constantly nagging her about being “too promiscuous.” In order to yell over this voice, you need take two steps forward, and one step back. For example, start kissing her mouth, and maintain this for a while. Eventually, make it down to her neck, and then move back to her mouth. Keep her sexually charged and wanting more. 108

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Another trick to try is the “role reversal.” Say something like, “Let’s slow down” or “I need a second to stop.” Joke about how she’s trying to take advantage of you. Trust me – she’ll be shocked, but that’s only because you’ve stolen her lines this time. If she’s aroused, stop again, pausing for a second to create the sexual tension. Behave like you’re in a trance that she’s weaved over you. The more foreplay and erotic touching, the better. Keep building up, then backing off. At some point, you’ll know if she’s really into you. While body language, touching, and eye contact are 90% of your flirting techniques, it’s still important to know how to verbally flirt. In the remainder of the book, we’re going to cover flirting in conversations. To get started, let’s review the basics of conversations and their importance for building attraction…

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5 Conversation 101

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Introduction to Conversations Conversations are the lifeblood to flirting. You must use conversations to show the qualities that were mentioned earlier in this book.

Conversations are the lifeblood to flirting...

In other words, you must show that you’re a desirable male through the topics you discuss. In this section, we’re going to cover the basics of conversation. Once you understand these principles, I will reveal to you three advanced techniques for flirting, but you must be a master conversationalist first. With that said, let’s begin our chapter on talking to women. Before you begin any conversation with a woman, you should know what outcome you’re trying to achieve…

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Conversation Outcomes A common problem that many guys face is that they have NO IDEA what they want from the women they approach. They literally flirt just to flirt. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, how can you work towards making anything happen? In order for conversation to be effective, your goal should be clear, and established before you start talking. Think of your objective in terms of sales. A good salesman knows what he expects from a client long before he makes his pitch. He then steers the conversation towards closing the deal. If you're looking to make an intimate connection with a woman, then you should focus on achieving this outcome. On the other hand, if you want to set up a date and meet her later on, you should focus on steering the conversation towards that result.

Know Your Outcomes As you probably know, any achievement in life starts with a goal. When you establish a clear outcome, you activate your conscious mind to work towards it. And when it comes to women, you have to first know what you want before you can get it! Success with women is like anything else in life…

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When you have a specific plan, it becomes that much easier to get it! In other words, when you’re meeting a woman for the first time, you should decide what outcome you want from the interaction. That way you’ll be able to steer the conversation towards actually getting it! To best way to get the most from your conversations is to establish a clear goal for what you want. I recommend taking it one step further by creating a mental picture of your desired outcome. Next, think of the steps you need to take to actually achieve this outcome. What most guys don’t realize is that each environment or approach could have a different outcome. In some situations, you might want to focus on getting a girl’s number, while in others, you might want to move the interaction towards sex. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, here are a few different goals you could have for each approach: λ

Do I want her number?

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Am I looking for a girlfriend?

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Do I want to sleep with her tonight?

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Should I go for an ‘instant date?’

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Do I just want to have a conversation?

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who appear “promiscuous,” and go heavy on the flirting or sexual innuendos. On the other hand, if you want a girlfriend, then you would approach a girl who fits your “ideal type,” and follow the standard conversation tactics to attract and qualify her for yourself. With this type of conversation, you want to focus on a long-term outcome rather than a short-term result, such as sleeping with her. Having a goal for each conversation is one of the best ways to keep your mind on what you want. When you approach a girl with a plan, it becomes easy to steer the interaction towards your desired outcome. In summary, when you’re out there talking to a girl, think about what you want from her. Now that you know the importance of determining a desired outcome for the conversation, let’s a few of things you should NEVER do when you’re in a conversation…

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What NOT to Do During a Conversation In order to establish a deep connection, you must listen to common sense and avoid doing the things that’ll only end up annoying or pissing off a woman. In this section, you’ll discover a few simple rules for ensuring you don’t kill the successful conversation you hope to build. You can’t present a perfect opener to a woman and have nothing to follow it up with. Once you get a girl’s attention, you have to know how to engage her over a longer period of time. You will also need an arsenal of great conversation ideas and games that will increase the level of attraction between the two of you. This guide will address both of those issues. You’ll learn advanced conversation skills, fun conversation games, and smooth transition skills. I’ll also include a special, in-depth section on the art of storytelling, which is a skill many guys need some help with. There are a lot of different directions you can head with a conversation. A good discussion should be used to 115

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maintain the attraction you’ve built while developing comfort at the same time. In other words, you can continue to make her feel like you’re a fun person to be around while showing a slightly vulnerable side of you. Here are ten actions you want to avoid when talking to women:

#1- Being a Negative or Crass Guy As mentioned before, being pessimistic does nothing to build attraction. Some common mistakes which guys of this character make include:

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Making fun of yourself: (Also known as selfdeprecating humor) Don’t talk about a subject that makes fun of you, emphasizes a weakness, or puts you down. If you don’t find yourself appealing, why on earth would she?

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Joking about your looks: Never joke or make fun of your appearance. You’re actually repelling her if you do.

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Negative topics: Don’t bring up horrific news stories, or other negative subjects. Keep the conversation lively.

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Insulting her: This one should be a no-brainer.

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Dirty jokes: She is not your buddy, so avoid the disgusting jokes that repulse her.

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Swearing: While it’s a common thing to do, your aim is to be uncommon. Slipping an F-bomb once or twice is forgivable, but overall, foul language is a big turnoff.

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Guy movies: Don’t be the “movie-quote guy.” It might help once or twice, but doing a running gag from Old School won’t help your game much.

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Arguing with her: Don’t argue or contradict her. If you feel the need to disagree, ask why she believes the way she does.

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Complaining: Your conversation shouldn’t be a litany of bitching about the things you hate in the world. This goes along with my advice about pessimism. Constant complaining opens you up for pity, which is not attractive.

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Bragging: Don’t brag or talk too much about your accomplishments. You may think this makes you look good, but it doesn’t.

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Kissing her ass: Never kiss her ass. She is not to be put on a pedestal. Be a slight challenge.

#2 – Being Right vs. Getting Laid My grandpa taught me a lot of things, but perhaps his most valuable piece of advice was to never argue with women. Think about it: Even if you win, you haven’t accomplished anything. Your aim in the game is not to win an argument over politics – it’s to get her in the sack. In order to do so, you have to tap into her emotions. Trust me: if you piss her off, she’ll feel it…and so will you. Instead of arguing with her, continue probing her emotional side by asking her more about her position on 117

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the topic. By doing so, you’re actually establishing rapport with her (and increasing attraction at the same time!) Don’t be concerned with your opposing viewpoint. Determine what’s more important – being right or getting laid. Then take the steps necessary to make that a reality. While you want to let her argue her point, don’t allow her to disrespect you. In general, it’s okay to make her feel that she’s correct (as you have other plans for her.) However, if you meet an especially combative person, then you know it might be time to get rid of her. One final point- There is a big difference between bantering and arguing. I banter with women all the time. This is different because I’m doing it in a teasing, playful manner. I’m NOT trying to browbeat or argue against her opinions.

#3 – Shyness Shyness is the ultimate killer of attraction. If you're having trouble talking to women, then you're definitely not displaying positive male traits like confidence and interest. In order to be successful during your conversation, you must overcome your shyness. You can do this by initiating conversations with everyone you meet. By talking to lots of different people, you'll become comfortable around women.

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#4 – Bragging Let me be honest here: Women hate men who brag about themselves. Honestly, most women don't care about the car you drive, the money you have, or your incredible job. Still, so many guys make the mistake of assuming that material wealth is all they need to snag that hot chick. What they don’t realize is that arrogance or bragging is really an indicator of low self-confidence. They feel they have to prove their worth, when in reality, a guy who’s comfortable in his own skin knows his worth. If you want to impress a woman, you must use your personality to attract her. So instead of talking about your accomplishments, just focus on being a fun and exciting guy.

#5- Being a Bore Many guys assume that a conversation is just a series of questions and answers. In essence, they think a conversation is like an interview where you find out information about a woman. Unfortunately, this technique does nothing to build attraction. In order to build attraction with a woman, you have to be an interesting person.

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With that said, you have to eliminate any tendency to be boring. You can do this by telling interesting stories, using cold reading tricks, and asking provocative questions. No matter what you’re talking about, make sure the conversation is fun for all involved. Talk about things that connect to a girl’s emotions, like excitement, drama, and interest.

#6- Not Leading The conversation should head in the direction you want it to. If things get boring, then immediately switch to another topic. Remember that you are in control, and if you have enough material, you can literally head her in directions where you display complete and total attractiveness. Stories, routines, and openers all serve a purpose. They’re designed to be a subtle way for you to demonstrate high status while remaining in control. If you run out of stories, then adapt an opener and use the material. You can also try asking her questions about herself. By taking control of the conversation and using this material, you’ll show that you can demonstrate your value while maintaining leadership of the conversation.

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#7- Talking to Only One Person If you’re in a conversation with more then one person, make sure you’re involving the entire group. Remember that a big part of building attraction is to be confident and comfortable with others, so show off your social skills! The quickest way to kill a conversation is to bore somebody to tears. Make the conversation fun for everyone involved, and by doing so, you’re showing off how fun of a guy you really are.

#8- Avoiding Physical Contact If you feel the time is right, make sure you’re touching her throughout the conversation. Touching is a direct link to physical contact and becoming intimate.

Touching is a direct link to physical contact and becoming intimate…

You want to get a girl to feel that physical connection when you’re in close proximity. By not touching a girl, you’re ignoring what could lead to sensual encounter. You want to make her feel like she’s connected to you on a seductive level.

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#9- Acting Strange With the material that we cover in this course, there is a risk of being TOO bizarre. You want to be unique, but you don’t want to be so “out there” that people will wonder if you’ve escaped from a mental institution. While you want to excite her through stories and other forms of conversation, you do want to have some “normal” topics to discuss as well. Think about the normal things that people talk about (work, friends, hobbies, etc.) When she says something, find an interesting topic to latch onto it, and create a deeper connection from it. Don’t start going on these tangential rants that make no sense to people.

#10- Not Showing Your Vulnerable Side When you’re building comfort, you want her to connect to a deeper side of you. One way to do this is to reveal a vulnerable side of you. This doesn’t mean talking about your feelings for her. Instead, try something like revealing a childhood story or some funny anecdote from when you were younger. By 122

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talking about these times, you’re showing her the human being in you, and building rapport with her as well. Now that you understand what to not talk about, let’s go over a few fundamental rules for conversations…

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Conversation Basics9 Rules for Great Dialogue Conversations are free-floating, dynamic things. What you say to one person will never be equal to what you say to another. That’s why (when flirting) it’s hard to truly use material that’s completely rehearsed or memorized. Sure, there are a number of techniques you can use a shortcut, but overall, there’s a lot to be said about concentrating on creating fun conversations that thrill women. With that being said, I believe there are a number of basic rules you should follow when you’re in a conversation with a woman. What you want to focus on is creating a playful bantering exchange that’ll be an extension of your naturallyattractive personality. You want to show an attitude that women will absolutely love. In this section, I’m going to cover a few basic rules for having a conversation. Remember these, and you’ll have practically any woman feeding out of the palm of your hand.

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So what are we waiting for? Let’s begin…

#1 – The 80/20 Conversation Rule A girl friend of my called recently to complain about a guy she just started dating. She said that their first date literally felt like work on her part, in that she had to constantly think of ways to get him to talk to her. What’s worse was that he was the one to ask her out! Needless to say, she’s not going to see him again. The point of this story is simple: …be prepared to If you’re sincerely interested in a girl, carry 80% of the talk to her! In fact, be prepared to conversation at carry 80% of the conversation at first. first. Don’t expect her to hold up 50% (or in my friend’s case, 100%) of the conversation, because if that happens, everything will collapse. At some point, she’ll get into the conversation, but you need be the one to lead and carry it. Keep talking to her, even if she’s not responding. Be prepared to blast through the conversation, but make sure to add in pauses to give her an opportunity to talk. And if, at the end of the date, you feel a bit like my friend did, you might want to find a different woman. One thing to remember is to ask open-ended, rather than “yes” or “no,” questions which have not been used by other guys. 125

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From there, you can use her responses to get deeper into the conversation, or you can use examples from your own life. This is the perfect opportunity to tell a funny story that’s related to the topic at hand.

#2 – Be Authoritative You have to maintain the right kind of mindset when you're talking to a woman. When you approach and talk to women, do so with an air of authority. You must always act like you're the prize to be won. Instead of giving her the power, make her feel privileged to be around you. Remain unfazed by anything unexpected, and do not let anything affect your ability to be powerful and attractive.

#3 – Assume the Close Like a salesperson, you have to "assume the close.” What this means is that you should make the assumption that she is already attracted to you, and has interest in getting to know you better. If you can behave as if you’ve already been successful, your confidence will win her over.

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It’s a powerful dynamic when you’re walking around a room truly believing that all the women inside are incredibly attracted to you. This truly is “mind over matter.” While this may seem like a cocky attitude, it’s a powerful force that’s hard to be reckoned with.

#4- Be Interesting MOST guys are really boring. They do nothing to spice up an interaction or build instant attraction. Your goal is to be the exception. Conversations are your best hope of impressing a woman. Therefore, never let things get stagnant or stale. You have to make sure she's completely in the conversation and doesn't lose interest in you. You need to keep the conversation interesting and flowing smoothly. By doing this, you'll make sure she remains fixated on you.

#5 – Control the Interaction You must control the interaction and lead the conversation. Women are used to being in charge of the communication, because most guys don’t have very much to contribute. 127

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Guys are always surrendering their power to women in conversations. What does this mean to you? Never let a woman control the direction of the conversation. By relieving her of some responsibility, you're demonstrating a masculine power that women actually love.

#6 – Never Show too Much Interest Over eagerness is not attractive, and it makes you appear to be a very low-status male. Remember to be casual and carefree. You can’t be desperate for attention; that is a huge turnoff! Think back to our discussion of attraction. Whenever you meet a woman, focus on creating attraction within her, before you even think of showing that you’re interested in her. You want a woman to think that she has to work hard for your attention. Never forget that you’re the prize!

#7 – Assume Familiarity A quick way to make an instant connection with a person is to create a dynamic where you act like you’re already their best friend. To accomplish this, a powerful technique that I recommend is to talk to women in a way that appears as though you already know her. 128

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Your conversation should be done in a way that’s teasing but friendly. You’re acting like she’s a truly interesting person, but you’re still not sure if she’s going to be worth getting to know better.

… talk to women in a way that appears

as though you already know her.

One of my favorite ways to accomplish familiarity with a woman is to immediately give her a nickname. Generally when I meet an interesting girl, I'll find out where she's from, what she does for a living, and her hobbies. I then use this information to give her a nickname. And you can do the same! When you first meet a woman, give her a nickname that's both funny and a little teasing. For instance, if you've met a woman from Idaho, comment on the state’s “fine potatoes,” and dub her “Potato.” She’ll most likely laugh, and if she doesn’t find it funny, move on. She’s a bore anyways. [This isn’t the best example, but it illustrates how you can give a girl any nickname] What I like about this technique is you instantly create a private joke that the two of you share. Then, whenever you talk to her in the future, you start the conversation by calling her this nickname. If you're having trouble thinking of a nickname, try to hone in on her personality to come up with one. You can use one of the following:

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Spaz

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Goofball

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Brat

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Loser

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Player or Playa

Assuming familiarity is a powerful dynamic that can help you create rapid levels of attraction. And when you follow up [ie: Call her on the phone], it becomes easy to create a mindset that the two of you are already comfortable and know each other pretty well.

#8 – Use the ‘Scarcity Principle’ According to this principle, humans tend to operate on a fear of loss instead of a desire for gain… Here's how the ‘Scarcity Principle’ would work when you're talking to a woman: Imagine you're getting the vibe from a woman that she's not interested in you. Maybe she tells you she doesn't want to give you her number or go on a date. Normally, most guys would give up and walk away, but you won't! Instead of giving up, you should convince her that she's going to miss out on something incredible. Try saying something like, "If we hung out in the future, you COULD have had the best time of your life. But your hesitation is hurting your chances. You could be missing out on something that would have been great!"

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If a woman thinks she "has" you, then she won't be that interested in you. On the other hand, if she thinks she's going to lose you, she'll be more interested in pursuing you.

#9 – Be Prepared to Walk Away Never be afraid to walk away from a conversation that is failing miserably. If you're getting a negative vibe…move on. Remember that if you’ve just met a woman, you really haven’t lost anything. You gave it a shot; it failed; and you’re still alive. Simply realize that “off nights” are a part of the game. It's not always easy; just learn from your mistakes and keep pressing on. What I also recommend is to explain to a woman that you have a lot going on with your life… you’re a busy guy. You want to convey that you have so much going with your life that the outcome of your conversation together is not going to make or break you. She is not your main priority.

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Humor and Teasing In the previous section, I listed 9 rules to use when talking to women, but there is one quality that stands out from the rest…humor.

Using Humor It’s true... If you can get a woman to laugh, you can get her into bed. Studies have shown that there’s a direct link between humor and sexual attraction. In essence, you can seduce a woman with humor. As you already know, women are very emotional creatures. If you want to tap into the positive side of her psyche, you need to know how to make her laugh. By doing so, you’re already setting yourself apart from 90 percent of the competition out there. It’s said that “laughter is the best medicine,” and with women, this is certainly true. If you’re able to get her giggling, you’ll inevitably send good feelings flowing through her…and towards you. Your humor can be your most powerful asset. Even if you don’t have male-model looks, you can still quickly build attraction. But how do you go about being humorous?

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After all, not everyone is built with a funny bone intact. The good news is that you don’t have to be the next Chris Rock to know how to make her laugh. In fact, the idea behind using humor to your advantage is simply to build your character in her eyes. Jokes are pretty much overrated.

Use Teasing You learned in this section to go into an interaction with a woman while maintaining the mindset that she wants you. Why not vocalize this in a way that makes her laugh? Don’t be arrogant about it; just tease her by stealing some of the lines traditionally used by women. “You’re trying to take advantage of me,” or “You just want me for my body” are sure to make her laugh. Couple that with playing hard-to-get a little, and she’ll be melting in no time. Now with teasing, there is one major problem… 90% of men are bad at being funny! While many guys know that laughter is a key to a woman's heart, they're using humor in a completely wrong way. The following are three golden rules for using humor and teasing to build attraction. Read them, know them, and live by them!

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Rule #1 – Never use humor to insult yourself Have you ever been around a girl who constantly talks about how fat or ugly she is, solely to get attention or guilt someone into strongly disagreeing with her? That kind of behavior is just as annoying coming from a guy. Poking fun at your own shortcomings demonstrates a low status to women. You’re revealing to her just how low your self-esteem really is (when, in reality, it shouldn’t be low at all.) Your sense of humor should increase your status – not make her run away.

Rule #2 – Use humor to tease and mock Direct your humor at the girl. Yeah, I know you're probably not used to insulting women, but there is a good-natured way to do it that will score you major brownie points. Allow me to explain something about women: Most of the time, women are used to guys kissing their butts. Typically, other men will shower women with compliments in the hopes of getting them into the bedroom. The problem is that women grow tired of the same tactics. In order to stand out from other guys, you need to use your humor to tease a woman.

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While you should never be a jerk, you can build attraction by playfully joking about her mistakes or imperfections. Not only does this show a sense of humor on your part, but it also demonstrates your interest in her. Don’t comment about the massive zit on her face (or anything that, if said to you, would be taken as an insult.) As a rule-of-thumb, never comment on a woman’s physical features.

…you can build attraction by playfully joking about her mistakes or imperfections.

Instead, try telling her something like, “Damn woman! All that bling you’re wearing is gonna blind me!” and follow it up with a laugh. Believe me: You'll have a woman laughing hysterically if you can embrace this technique. Remember to be playful and warm, not mean. You may want to practice with some friends.

Rule #3 – Let humor be ONE part of your personality The final rule is to know when to turn off the funny guy persona. Whenever you're in a conversation with a woman, there is a time to be funny, and a time to be serious. If you’ve used humor effectively, she’s bound to eventually open up to you. With that said, if she starts telling you how her grandmother just died, don’t ask her if she “bit the dust” while riding her Harley. In fact, the overall look of your face should immediately switch from one of humor, to one of seriousness.

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As you've probably discovered, women want guys who have more going for them than slapstick comedy. In order for you to be seductive, you have to show other aspects of your personality as well. The delivery of your comments is as important (of not more so) than the comments themselves. You're goal is to avoid being a stand-up comedian working the room for attention. Instead, toss in little things here and there that will throw them off balance. For instance if a woman mentions something you don't agree with, say a line like, "That's it, we're breaking up.” Then, when she says something you like, say, "Alright…I guess we can go out again. But you're on probation. One slip, and it's over." Using humor is an important part of dating and seduction. By knowing how to properly use humor and make women laugh, you'll find that it's easy to increase attraction.

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How to Blend Teasing and Humor Teasing is about being fun, but also being charming. In fact, it’s a perfect opportunity to utilize the “push-pull” technique you learned about earlier in this book. For example, take her hand in yours, only to push it away and tease her for “being too forward.” Make a verbal announcement that she’s the one treating you like a piece of meat. Flirting isn’t about doing stuff in a logical manner; it’s about creating an emotion. It’s about creating sexual tension. Think of being a little kid again... When you were 10, you teased a girl that you liked by slapping her, or pulling her hair. And while you’d likely to get a restraining order placed on you by pulling those stunts now, it’s still basically the same idea. Put another way: Teasing is “the new” method of pulling your crush’s ponytail. Teasing should be light when you first meet a woman. Stick to topics like her choice in purses (remember my line about the “knock-off” Vuitton bag). The key is to make her think you’re funny…not an egotistical prick. If she’s laughing, then you’ve won half the battle.

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Study comedy and comedians to get an appreciation for using humor. Some things are better left unsaid, and what’s funny to you may not be to others. Learn how to joke with women in a way that’s playful and not offensive. Know the RIGHT way to use humor. If you sense the conversation could use a little liveliness, but you’re at a loss, try picking up on one of these three tactics:

#1 – Exaggeration In case you couldn’t tell, this involves picking up on something and blowing it up to RIDICULOUS measures. For example, try saying something like, “I like the size of your handbag. It’s like you’re hiding a Mexican army in there!”

#2 – Role Reversals Take a line that traditionally used by women, and pretend that you’re genuinely concerned about it. Not only does this make you seem funny, but it also shows that you understand women.

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“Does this outfit make my butt look big?” is sure to make her laugh.

#3 – Use Characters Embody your characters into your humor. Imitations and quirky behavior work well in this, just make sure to no overdo it. Copy and steal whatever you can get hold of.

What if I’m Not a Funny Guy? Like any other skill you’ve learned, if you want to get better at humor, you have to practice it. Pick up a copy of the book, Comedy Writing Secrets by Melvin Helitzer Watching stand-up comedians is also a great way to expose yourself to all that is funny. Another great technique that is often overlooked is to pay attention to your friends and the funny things you discuss together. Taking cues from those you’re most comfortable with can be invaluable. When dealing with a woman, misinterpret EVERYTHING she says into a sexual context, like she’s trying to “take advantage of you.” Look for EVERY sexual innuendo that she gives you. Exaggerate the little things.

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For instance, if she says, “This dress doesn’t look right on me,” tease her by saying something like, “Yeah, I didn’t want to tell you that.” If you’re able to pick up on the little things around you, it’s easy to create laughter in any situation.

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Power Conversation Tactics Controlling the Conversation If you don’t learn the art of controlling the conversation, you’ll inevitably end up (like so many other guys) listening to her talk about her problems, or other topics you could care less about. Your object through talking is to gain her sexual attraction towards you. Men often lose out because they fail to keep the conversation geared in this direction. Get her talking, but move her towards topics that are sexually charged… Even if you risk making her angry. To do this, change the topic when she starts talking about something that’s not building attraction. If she’s talking about depressing topics, you run the risk of being turned into her therapist, or worse…her friend. If she’s talking about something that’s bad, say something sympathetic like, “God that sounds horrible.” She’ll inevitably respond, to which you should immediately redirect her towards a topic that’s more fun and lighthearted. For example, respond to her by saying,

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“I hate when things happen like that. Hopefully they’ll find a way to get past that.” Follow that with something sarcastic, as well as some light teasing. This works because you’re steering away from topics that don’t help you at all. You want to direct the conversation back to the fun of sexual attraction. Ultimately, she’ll have to respond to your challenge. In some cases, she’ll really be stuck on her emotional rant. When this happens, stop the conversation by going to the bathroom to regroup and plan a new strategy. Think of a new topic that you can immediately use, such as a funny story you can launch when you return to the table. If this doesn’t work, and she STILL needs to talk about her problems, then abandon mission. Who wants to be with someone so sulky anyways?

Friend or Lover While we’re on the topic, let me ask one question: Is it insensitive to not want to listen to a girl’s problems? Most of you may think it is, but quite honestly, the answer is that it’s not. It’s not fair to make YOU be like her best “girl” friend or her therapist. While allowing her to tell you about your problems is a good way to establish rapport with her, you don’t want to become her emotional dumping ground.

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She’s pushing her problems on you…and you just met her! Listening to her problems will NOT get you laid. So many guys mistake “being a shoulder to lean on” as a girl having a genuine interest in them. It is for this very reason that you need to establish between being her “friend” and potential “lover” early on by controlling the conversation. A lover has a low level of empathy. While there is some level of trust there, it’s never 100%. This is necessary to maintain heightened levels of sexual tension. If your intention is to be her lover, not her friend, you do want to establish some level of trust. Just be wary of becoming her buddy. If you notice that the conversation never evolves toward sexuality (despite your efforts), you’re probably headed in the direction of being her friend. If, at the end of everything, you decide you wouldn’t mind being her friend, then by all means…listen away. Give her your undivided attention, let her cry to you, and be prepared to become very bored. Just make sure you never expect any sexual interaction with the girl, because your odds are slim.

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Finding Topics of Conversation You want to establish some sort of connection, and learn more about the girl you’re with. Ask questions about her, and relate the things she’s saying back to you. Find those commonalities! This is an excellent way to build up sexual tension, as it makes her more comfortable with you.

Conversation Topics Conversation should keep the attraction going, and the best way to accomplish this is to talk about exciting topics. At the same time, try to avoid revealing things that’ll make her doubt her own attraction for you. Some topics to consider talking about include:

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Past experiences: I was once on a date with this girl, and a Run DMC song came on the radio. I captivated her by telling her about the time I met Reverend Run in L.A.

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Favorite vacations: Maybe you just got back from Tahiti, or maybe you’re about to go. Tell her about your favorite place to visit, and ask her what hers is too.

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Best experiences: Have you ever been scuba diving? What was the greatest concert you’ve ever gone to? Show her you look on the positive side of things sharing

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Uplifting news or current events: This shows her that you’re up with the times. Just make sure to steer away from religion or politics on this one. People tend to be very passionate about one or both of these topics, and arguments arising from them are seldom friendly.

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Dreams and aspirations: What’s your dream house? What goals do you want to achieve, and what are hers? Where’s one place you must visit before you die? This shows her you think about the future.

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“What if” questions: What would you do if you had a million dollars and never had to work again?

Conversation Hooks At first, look like you’re NOT trying to attract her attention. Instead, focus on getting HER to chase you. You can accomplish this through conversation hooks. The hook is basically a question that raises a multitude of questions in her mind. It makes her wonder what you mean, and attracts her interest. Instead of asking questions, you make a declarative statement, and get HER to ask what you mean. In response, you need to follow up with quality information. ALL your conversations should be “chick-centric,” focusing on her personality and lifestyle without being a barrage of questions about her. Get started by planning out responses to common questions that you get from women. Leave holes where 145

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women naturally ask questions, and never come to a conclusion with a story. Instead move on to another conversation thread The key is to NOT really care about outcomes. Instead, look like you’re simply there to entertain yourself

Moving Between Conversations Moving from topic to topic is not as hard as it sounds. Find something in the most RECENT thing she said to start another question. This is part of leading the conversation. Interject humor into the statement, and use her statements to keep feeding the conversation. At some point, you’ll find that you have PLENTY of hidden conversations to discuss. Either proceed down these paths, or use them as reserves for later that you can refocus on. Doing this one thing will give you plenty of topics to discuss. The art of moving between conversations is to never use transitions. People that are close never feel the need to transition from topic to topic; they just talk naturally. Don’t look for any connection between the last thing you said and the next. This is the essence of leadership, where you’re taking control of the conversation. Remember that when nobody takes control of a conversation, it has no zing to it! You have to keep the transitions natural. 146

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And if you get stuck with your transitions, you can simple say- “Anyway...” then open up a new line of conversation!

My Favorite Flirting Line Here’s a nugget that I use to seed any conversation I have with women. I don’t know why it works, but it’s pretty effective and simple. All you do is pick up on something she’s said or a physical trait, and say, “You know what they say about women who [Insert whatever quality you’re emphasizing like height, job, etc.]” She’ll ask you to elaborate, and you REFUSE to tell her. This is another great “push-pull” technique, as she’ll be dying to know what you’re thinking!

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Mastering Your Conversation Skills In order to dramatically improve your flirting success, there are a few simple tactics you can use to master your conversation skills. Here are five you should remember:

#1 – Be a Leader Dynamic conversations come from a leading frame, so ask fewer questions. Instead, make statements. YOU are the one who brings up new conversation threads. Do this before things get stale. Learn how to relate to the emotion and rhythm of a conversation, rather than the topic. Stopping in between Again, pausing is a powerful effect. Stopping in between statements is not only good for effect; it also allows you time to search for the right words to say next.

statements is not only good for effect; it also allows you time to search for the right words to say next.

#2- Use the Conversational Pause Pausing is so important, I think it deserves its own point… Use pauses to your benefit, as they generally show a strong level of confidence. The self-assured man stops and 148

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holds his thoughts, while the nervous guy hurries through his conversation. The alpha male is confident in the point he’s trying to make, while the beta male is eager to gain approval. Try this technique the next time you’re talking to a woman: Say something like, “I bet you wonder what my favorite quality of yours is,” and then pause. When she says “yes,” continue your silence a bit longer as she’s left wondering. Eventually, she’ll egg you on to explain yourself, to which you reply, “You’re very impatient.” Keep drawing it out, and you’ll drive her nuts!

#3- Establish Strong Eye Contact First, let me point out that this should only be done when you know there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you. If you just met the girl, she’s likely to run away if you’re giving her a long stare. However, once you know she likes you, hold her eyes for a little longer than she’s comfortable with. This will only increase the attraction between you. It’s important to be aware of how you’re establishing eye contact.

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I think everyone knows what a maniac’s eyes look like, and you’re objective is to do the exact opposite. This is mostly about a focused gaze. Think “bedroom eyes.”

#4- Force Rapport It’s pretty easy to become a great conversationalist, and the good news is that you don’t have to be an overlytalkative guy. Most people are too concerned with the impression they’re making, but it’s just as important to understand the person you’re talking to. Demonstrate that you understand what she’s saying by using simple phrases such as “I know what you’re saying” or “I totally understand.” Be aware, however, that you do actually have to listen to the girl in order for these lines to work. In fact, try rephrasing what she just said. This helps her develop a feeling that you’re really listening to her. And how could she not be attracted to that?

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#5- Learn how to say things Your conversations shouldn’t be a mash-up of tricks and routines. It’s important to understand the context of the conversation, and what you’re trying to communicate too. When talking to a girl, you need to project an attitude (through your body language) that you don’t need sex. You’re not desperate. Don’t forget that until you actually sleep with a girl, she’s not quite sure about you. With that being said, if you pressure her too much, you’ve lost. Your conversations should reveal that you’re a fun, energetic guy. You’re confident, and you don’t have to act like an asshole to prove it either. You’re trustworthy, have tons of self-discipline, and are a skilled lover too! Believe these things yourself, and they will easily be transferred through your interactions with women. Remember that it’s not about the words you’re saying – it’s about your frame of mind, which shows through your attitude. Everyone (especially women) can detect a fake person. Your attitude should project your positive qualities without you having to say a single word.

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Keeping that in mind, you need to know that the words coming out of your mouth aren’t nearly as important as how they’re being said. If you want to tap into the emotional side of a woman’s brain, you have to learn how to describe your emotions. Make everything you say interesting. You can even bring up negative things, as long as you talk about them in an interesting manner. Instead of complaining, talk about how a bad circumstance impacted people, or how it should’ve been done. Focus on yourself in the conversation, rather than the negative aspects of others. Which brings me to another point – never, under any circumstances, speak negatively about others when you’re with a girl. Women, by their very nature, are very empathetic, loving, and nurturing. With that said, the fact that you’re making fun of the fat guy at the other end of the room is not going to impress her. In fact, it just might disqualify you all together.

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Conversation Obstacles Conversations don’t always work out the way you intend. In fact, there are often times where you’ll experience specific problems that you need to overcome. I call these “Conversation Obstacles.” In this section, we’re going to cover how to deal with specific issues that arise when talking to a woman…

Non-Responsive Women Sometimes, no matter what you do, the conversation just won’t go anywhere. Don’t take it personally; some people mesh, and some people don’t. On the flipside, there may be a factor you’re overlooking… For instance, maybe she’s just really shy. A girl friend of mine once told me that when she’s really into a guy, she shuts down, almost out of nervousness. You never know: This could very well be the issue at hand. In this situation, give her the benefit of the doubt. Get answers by probing deeper.

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Lead the conversation by describing some things that you hold dear, and she should open up.

The Bitch Shield Allow me to rewind a bit… While we’re covering conversation tactics, I want to cover a common problem that often happens when men approach women. It’s commonly known as “The Bitch Shield.” You’ve probably seen this before. You’re trying to talk to a woman, but she’s giving you one-word responses, staring off into space, and otherwise giving you the cold shoulder. In short…she’s acting like a bitch! Now there’s a huge “but” here! When a woman acts this way, it’s NOT because she’s a mean or angry person. In fact MANY of the girls who use “The Bitch Shield” can be really nice. But there is a SPECIFIC reason for this behavior…. In fact, whenever you see her doing this, it’s because of something YOU did or didn’t do. Allow me to explain. Chris Rock said it best: “Every day women are offered dick!” From the moment they get up to the moment they go to sleep, women are bombarded by guys hitting on them. As a result, it’s only natural to develop a defense mechanism to weed out the losers. 154

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Since girls don’t have time to talk to EVERY guy who tries to initiate a conversation, they use “The Bitch Shield” to subtly get rid of men they deem NOT worthy. Typically when a girl uses this defensive behavior, she’ll display these signs: λ

She’ll tell you she has a boyfriend.

λ

She’ll say rude or abrupt comments.

λ

She’ll position her body away from you.

λ

She’ll lock you out of a conversation.

λ

She’ll break eye contact and look around the room.

λ

She’ll be disinterested in what you’re saying.

λ

She’ll be defensive to your comments.

λ

She’ll pull her friends away to a new location.

λ

She’ll tell you to go away.

As I stated before, showing this behavior is NOT a woman’s fault…it’s yours! Women judge men from their actions and body language. If you’re not demonstrating high value, then it’s only natural for a woman to give you the cold shoulder. If you’ve approached a number of women, then you know “The Bitch Shield” can be quite intimidating. You have to remember that, instead of getting upset, you should understand this behavior and find a way to get past it. The solution is pretty simple...

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When you first approach a woman, you have to demonstrate that you’re NOT trying to hit on her. Instead you have to show that you’re just getting her opinion or asking her a quick question. Recently, I discussed the importance of following a simple plan on your opener. For instance, when you first approach a group of women, you should immediately demonstrate these qualities: λ

Use slightly teasing comments when you first start talking.

λ

Talk to other women, or bring a girl friend in with you.

λ

Give a time constraint. “I gotta be out of here pretty soon.”

λ

Display disinterested body language (i.e., don’t stare at her.)

λ

Look like you’re ready to walk away.

λ

Pay no attention to her bitch shield, should she put it up against you.

By demonstrating mannerisms on your approach, you’ll subtly tell a woman that you’re not trying to hit on them, AND you’re not going to take up a lot of her time. This will help put her at ease and make her comfortable with your presence. As the conversation evolves, it’s then time for you to look for “The Hook Point.”

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Finding ‘The Hook Point’ So what is “The Hook Point?” [Credit goes to ‘Mystery’ for this concept] A hook point is generally ANY moment in a conversation when the group is enjoying your conversation and wants it to continue. It’s basically when they STOP being polite (if they were) and genuinely enjoy what you’re saying. It’s called “The Hook Point” because you’ve now “hooked” them into wanting you around. Basically, you’ve demonstrated high value, and the group now likes you. Once you’ve reached this point, you can go from your opener to transitioning into the attraction-building stage. So how do know when you’ve reached “The Hook Point?” The answer is simple… Women demonstrate a number of signals that show they’re interested and want you around. Primarily, you can tell members of a group are at their hook point when they:

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λ

Smile, laugh, and genuinely enjoy your conversation

λ

Face and/or direct their body language towards you

λ

Try to bring up additional topics of conversation

λ

Start to ask about you (name, job, hobbies, etc.)

λ

Touch, push, or playfully teases you.

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Why is this information useful? Well, when you approach a group, you want to keep on using your material until you reach your hook point, OR completely crash and burn. Even if the women don’t seem particularly interested at first, you MUST keep introducing different things (stories, personality tests, etc.) until you reach the hook point. If the hook point never arrives, then you’ve at least gained some practice with your routines. At least you’ve gained some experience with talking to women.

Disagreeing with Women Disagreeing (But not arguing) with women is actually a good thing! One of the archetypes that are attractive to a large number of women is the bad-boy persona. This is the guy who’s not afraid to live his own life, and doesn’t seem too concerned with what others (especially women) really care about. In a previous section, I discussed how women are attracted to this type of personality, because a guy like this exudes qualities such as confidence, fun, and excitement. Now I know you’re probably an average guy who doesn’t want to start walking around acting like an arrogant jerk.

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How can you demonstrate the bad-boy attitude without wearing a leather jacket and riding a Harley? Well, one of the ways I’ve found how to do this through the power of your conversation. We’ve already covered verbal sparring and sexual chemistry. A way to further increase the sexual tension is through the use of what I call a ‘disconnecter’. In short, a disconnecter is a statement that contradicts or disagrees with a woman during a conversation. Why does it work? When you use a disconnecter, you're establishing yourself as an alpha male who isn't afraid to negate what a woman says. Even if your statements create a bit of dissonance, you'll build positive tension. Think of it this way: When you disagree with a woman, you're demonstrating a strong and confident personality. She'll be attracted to you because she's probably used to nice guys who roll over and agree with everything she says. By using a disconnecter, you're showing that you know when to disagree and stand up for yourself. The important thing to remember is that you should not purposefully be argumentative with a woman. In other words, don't verbally attack a woman every time she opens her mouth. Instead look for topics about which you have a strong opinion, and then voice it.

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If you can use a disconnecter in a playful manner, you'll show that you have a strong personality. When you manage to perfect this technique, you'll become a guy who can attract a woman within the first five minutes of meeting her. The main point of using a disconnecter is to demonstrate the fact that you’re not afraid to disagree with a woman. Most guys go through the first couple of hours with women afraid to disagree with anything they say, even if it means going against their true personality. Instead, using a disconnecter allows you to playfully establishing an interaction where you’re teasing a woman and having a little fun.

Ejecting to Create Interest If you feel the need to end a conversation, make sure to reveal your interest in the girl before doing so. For instance, try saying something like, “You seem really cool. Anyways, it was a pleasure chatting with you, but I have to leave now.” If you really want to keep her hanging, interrupt your own comment by saying something like, “There’s something about the way you carry yourself [Act like you see something in the distance]...excuse me, I see someone I have to talk with." You’ll be surprised at how this magically makes a woman find you later on…

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Handling Rejection We have to discuss what to do if your attempt at starting a conversation doesn’t work. This will certainly happen to you sometimes, and you should be prepared to handle it appropriately. Approaching is hard for many guys! And when you have a strong fear of rejection, it gets even more difficult. As I’ve mentioned before, you should approach a girl (or group), and then stay IN a conversation until you reach the hook point (when you know a group is interested in getting to know more about you.)

… you should approach a girl (or group), and then stay IN a conversation until you reach the hook point

However, I would be lying if I said EVERY conversation will lead to anything. The fact is there WILL be times when you’ll be flatly rejected. NO routine, opener, or technique can help you in this situation. Sometimes women will reject you no matter how tight your game is! So what should you do in this situation? Well when a woman rejects you, there are two options: 1) You can try to “save face” by insulting her, or

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2) You can cut the conversation short and walk away. Let’s go over both… Your first option is to insult the woman. Some guys try to gain confidence after being rejected by saying deliberately mean comments. This can include lines like: λ

"You’re probably ALL lesbians.”

λ

"I don’t like sluts anyway.”

λ

"I didn’t really want to talk to a fat cow.”

λ

"F*** off!"

As you can see, these types of comments are EXTREMELY harsh, and in my opinion, insulting people will get you nowhere. Being mean to a woman because she rejected you can be the WORST mistake you make. Not only will you seem bitter, you’ll also hurt your chances with other women who are near the group you’ve approached. In other words, a loud insult to a group of girls can eliminate your chances of success in an ENTIRE venue! Now let’s cover the second way to end a conversation… If you’re rejected by a group, another solution is to be polite and walk away. Instead of trying to “save face” when insulted by rude behavior, you should maintain your high status and NOT 162

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let their comments affect your attitude. In truth, only a guy who doesn’t recognize his value will be impacted by the thoughts of others. For instance, when I’m completely rejected by a girl (or she’s simply not responsive), I like to say comments like the following: λ

"Well, I gotta get back to my friends. See you later."

λ

"It was a pleasure meeting you.”

λ

"Have a nice day.”

λ

"Talk to you later.”

All four of these “eject statements” are GREAT ways to end a conversation and allow you to quickly move on to the next group. The idea behind this principle is to show that no particular outcome or approach is that important to you. Remember that we ALL fail from time to time, but if you let it affect the way you act, you’re not going to improve your attraction skills. Simply use an appropriate ‘eject statement’, and move on to the next group. Now that we’ve covered the basics of flirting and conversations, let’s move on to those three advanced flirting techniques I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter. In the next few sections, we’re going to delve deep into how to create and amplify sexual tension in the conversations you’re having…

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6 Flirt through Storytelling

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Introduction to Storytelling The stories you TELL are an excellent way to flirt with women. When talking to a guy they’re interested in, women want to imagine what it’s like to be part of his life. Through story telling, you can showcase the qualities we discussed in the beginning of thisguide, while increasing the sexual tension. That’s why it’s important to learn how to tell a good story. Stories show the human side of your personality. Since the beginning of time, mankind shared a common bond through the tales they told. Through your past experiences, you can demonstrate your human nature to the girl you’re interested in. It communicates to women the emotional side that they don’t see in most of the men they meet If you're like other guys, there will be moments in a conversation when you can't think of anything to say. You could be talking to a great woman one minute, and the next, your mind suddenly goes blank, leaving you with nothing to talk about. Once this happens, you can say goodbye to any chance you have to attract her. The good news is that there is a way to completely CAPTIVATE her attention during a conversation. All you have to do is utilize the power of storytelling. It's human nature to love stories.

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Think about it- There have been times when you've been completely in awe of a person because he or she was able to tell a really interesting story. And you can do the same! By telling her entertaining stories (with you as the central character), it is entirely possible to hypnotize her in a trance of attraction.

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Why Women Love Stories When you tell stories to women, you’re providing her with a glimpse into the exciting and fun life you live. Done correctly, a story can emit ALL the qualities that women find attractive. But it’s hard to demonstrate the many qualities that make a man attractive to a woman. Things like high status, pre-selection, social standing, and excitement are all elements that cannot be seen when you first talk to a woman. If you want to captivate her attention, you have to use techniques that’ll tap into her natural curiosity and interest. In order to tell a good story while flirting, you have to first think of different incidents and scenarios which a woman will find both interesting and entertaining. Then practice telling these stories until they sound as natural and dynamic as possible. You might think you should use a different story every time you talk to a new woman, but that's not true. If you have a great story, share it with every new woman you meet. For instance, one story I often use when I meet a woman is about the time I was running, and was almost hit by a car driven by Bruce Springsteen. I craft the story in a

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humorous way, mentioning how he gave me he finger and my reaction. Since this happened many years ago, I've had a lot of experience telling it and making it very entertaining. YOU can also entertain women with your stories. The only requirement for these stories is to create ones which focus on you displaying masculine, yet funny characteristics. I promise, if you learn this technique, you can easily approach a woman and instantly captivate her attention.

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Crafting Your Stories The elements of a story are pretty simple. If you can follow this formula, you’ll have a solid foundation to build an incredible story. You’ll be able to engage women and make them attracted to you.

Element #1 – The Topic The best material comes from reading between the lines of life. Anything can make for a good story; the key is to develop the emotions behind the story. In short, you should be interesting, not the people, places, or things you discuss. Stories are used to attract women, so cut out all the details that don’t accomplish this. Focus on your feelings and reactions to the story to better acquaint people with who you are as a person. Even the most boring topic can become interesting, as long as it’s coupled with your unique perspective of the world. For instance, the story of how my buddy was pulled down while walking his girlfriend’s poodle may not sound captivating, but it is when I tell it. Instead of harping on the details, I emphasize the image of a big, bulky man with his toy dog. The fact that he was taken down by ten pounds of poodle only adds to the story’s interest. Women laugh hysterically when they imagine this happening (and besides, women LOVE dogs.)

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The specific topic of the story is not as important as the picture it paints of you. So don’t feel like you have to fabricate some wild yarn to impress a woman. Choose stories from your own personal experiences.

Choose stories from your own personal experiences…

The truth is we all have interesting things happen to us from time to time. It’s just a simple matter of seeing those events through fresh eyes. Remember that just because you’ve known the story for years doesn’t mean a woman won’t find the story interesting.

Element #2 – The Lead In The goal of the lead in is to connect, or give an explanation for why you’re telling this particular story. What you want to do is ask questions or begin a conversation with an interesting declarative statement. For instance, if you have a great vacation story, your leadin can be a question about her travels. If you want to talk about a crazy event that happened at a concert, mention the band currently playing in the bar. In short, give her reason that you’re telling this particular story.

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Element #3 – Crafting the Story Once you have a good lead-in for a story, you need to develop the idea. One mistake guys often make is to focus on facts instead of emotions. As you recently learned, this is due to the different conversation styles between the two sexes. Women talk about emotions, while men are more tactical with a topic. But if you want to be successful at telling stories to women, you must tell a story that includes and elicits emotional reactions within them. This may be hard at first, but try to keep your facts to a minimum. Tap into your feminine side (yes – every guy has one, even if they don’t want to admit it) and focus on how you felt about the experience you’re sharing. Tell the girl what it was like to go through this experience. This will engage her and make her more interested in what you’re saying.

Element #4 – The Characters Think of some of the best stand-up comedians you know. Most of their material centers around specific characters and the things they go through, and that’s what makes these

People get the most out of stories they can relate to… guys so funny.

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The point is that your stories need to have characters. There are two types of characters – the main character, and the supporting characters. The most intriguing stories are the ones where your listeners can identify with the main character, so if possible, tell stories where you’re the main character. You also want to make sure that you’re talking about yourself in a positive manner. Don’t bring up qualities like stupidity or being an asshole. Your goal is to bring her into your world through your stories, and putting yourself down will only drive her away. Your main character should be the one who is driving the action forward. Stray away from stories where you witnessed something. Instead, make it so that you were an active participant. For instance, the story about my buddy and the poodle wasn’t something I just witnessed. I was actually there, and I was the ‘good friend’ who helped him up from the ground (after laughing hysterically at him.) While I wasn’t the main character in this one, it’s still relatable enough to engage any listener.

Element #5 – Details The details will make the story completely vivid. With details, you’re filling in the blanks of her mind, creating a special world that you’re describing to her. Think about how you can completely describe what happened.

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Going back to the story about my buddy and the dog, I never tell it without giving details about my friend’s physical size, the dog’s size, the faces made by witnesses, and even better, my buddy’s face after hitting the ground. Stories should paint a complete picture that women can see with their mind’s eye.

Element #6 – The Action A good story has stuff happening. Don’t just tell her about how you passed the time at work earlier that day, because seriously…who cares? The best stories steer away from the everyday, mundane things. In short, they have action. Action can include any of the following: λ

The character wants something and is going after it

λ

The character has a completely unique experience

λ

The character learns a really important lesson

Almost every story is some variation of these. What point are you trying to get across? Understand the message you’re trying to communicate with this story, and make it worth listening to.

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Element #7 – Demonstrate High Value The stories you tell women can make when it comes time to trying to attract them. Tell stories that demonstrate positive personality traits like confidence, leadership, and humor. That way, you can demonstrate your high status without showing off.

ALL the difference

Your story should tell the listener, “I’m important and desirable,” without you actually saying it…

Your story should tell the listener, “I’m important and desirable,” without you actually saying it. For instance you could briefly mention such statements like the following: λ

“My ex-girlfriend was in town for a shoot…”

λ

“My buddy had back-stage passes to this show…”

λ

“I was in town to check out my friend’s art premiere…”

λ

“We were on this marathon hike in the mountains…”

λ

“We decided to check out this new hot club that was opening...”

λ

“My friends and I went on this sailing trip...”

Make sure your high-status statement fits with the story, and you have a reason to bring it up. In other words, don’t begin with a comment about your BMW if your car has nothing to do with the story. Even more important is to not lie. If you don’t even have a BMW, don’t say that you do.

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Element #8 – Obstacles You want to throw some obstacles at your characters. Think about the little hurdles you had to get over to reach your goal, and focus on those. When telling a story, list all the steps that you had to take to achieve what you wanted to accomplish. People will be interested to hear about the things you had to do. Think of EVERY great story. The drama is in wondering how the main character gets around insurmountable odds. With your stories, you want to discuss what you had to overcome to make things turn out in your favor.

Element #9- Be Dramatic Your stories should have a certain dramatic flair. Your aim (as previously mentioned) is to be the main character in the story, or at least an active participant. With that being said, you’re allowed a little artistic freedom in telling your tale. Don’t consider this lying. The greatest stories ever told were alive with color and vigor. For instance, rather than saying that a few people were clapping at something you did, you could say EVERYONE was cheering you on. This is called being dramatic, and it’s a way to create social proof with your stories. 175

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Element #10- Pausing For Effect Pausing is great for all aspects of conversation, but this is especially true for storytelling. Think about all those suspense movies… The action rises, and the director leaves you hanging off the edge of your seat, anxious to know what’s going to happen next. You can do the same thing. Pausing is all about providing value. When telling your story, wait until you get to the main action, and then stop to see how your audience is reacting. You’ll know you’ve got their attention if all eyes are focused on you. They’re smiling, or even better, holding their breath. If, on the other hand, no one is looking at you, they’re fiddling with their straw wrappers, or talking to other people, you might want to stop while you’re ahead. But don’t let it get to you... You win some, and you lose some.

Element #11- Leave Room For Questions A good story should contain LOTS of potential threads for a conversation. While your pretense is to tell a story, what you’re actually doing is hinting about your own positive and attractive qualities. So as you’re crafting your stories, try to think of 176

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the things that you can drop in to make you seem interesting. The woman you’re talking with will latch on to those details and ask you about them. Then you can answer without seeming arrogant.

Element #12- Engage the Listener At some point during the story, you have to find a way to engage your audience. Women want to be a part of your story and provide feedback. If you spend the entire time talking to her instead of with her, your story will have very little impact. Ask her direct questions as you tell your story. Then, depending on her answers, you can lead into another story which demonstrates even more high-status personality traits. Another technique is to confirm the obvious. With this technique, you ask a specific question to which you know the answer is probably true. For instance, you can say, “You like animals, right?” Generally, MOST people (especially women) will state that they do indeed like animals. And if she doesn’t, you can use her response to tease her. By confirming the obvious, you’re getting her input on a story, and making her think that she’s contributing.

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Element #13- The Punch Line Frame your story like a joke. Most of the story involves simply telling the event to a woman, but the punch line can really make or break your presentation.

...mention what you learned from the story OR how it impacted your life.

Establish a concrete ending that will wrap up the point of the story and indicate why it’s humorous. Generally, you can mention what you learned from the story OR how it impacted your life. What you DON’T want to do is complete the story and leave the girl clueless about your point.

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Telling Your Stories A story is more about how you tell it, rather than what you tell. Even if you know you’re not a very good story teller, with the right amount of energy and enthusiasm, you can captivate any audience. In general, there are two different ways of telling a story – you can grab your audience’s attention, OR you can bore them to tears. You want to shoot for the first method. To accomplish this, you must practice the following four elements of telling a good story. The following are what I call the 4 C’s of good storytelling…

Your Conviction Just as it’s so important to know you’re a high-value person, you also must believe completely in the stories you tell. You must have conviction. Not only will your tales be more believable to your audience this way, but you’ll grab (and hold) their attention longer as well. As with everything in life, there are going to be doubters. Others may not believe what you’re saying, but you stand behind your words 100%.

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If someone tests you on the facts, challenge them right back. Don’t back down from such objections; instead, deal with them head on.

Your Commitment This one kind of goes hand-in-hand with conviction, as you must use your entire body to tell a good story. In short, you commit all of yourself to the words you are saying.

Your voice should be heard loud and clear.

Hand gestures and facial expressions are crucial to getting a good point across. You can even engage your audience by using someone to illustrate an example of what you’re saying. Your voice should be heard loud and clear. A soft, weak voice will only bore your audience. Try adding different voices to your characters. This is especially true if you have recurring characters which people are familiar with. Put emotions behind the voice, and use different pitches and tones for the various characters. This is also a good tip for creating humor within your story telling. Keep eye contact with the people you’re talking to, and use them to convey the emotions behind what’s happening. Your aim is not only to fully commit yourself, but also your audience.

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Your Confidence Having confidence when you’re telling a story stems from one specific truth…you deserve to be heard, and you know it. You wouldn’t have opened your mouth if the story wasn’t worth telling. With that said, only open your mouth if there’s a very real point to the story, and you know where it is heading. A point can be a simple as making others laugh, or as complicated as illustrating a certain political issue. Just as it’s important to speak up in order to display everyday confidence, you must tell your stories in a commanding voice as well. Convince yourself that your audience is truly listening, and what you say is important. Avoid the wishy-washy behavior that’s seen in other men.

Your Cadence Some guys make the HUGE mistake of rushing through the story, afraid that they’ll get cut off. A good story has a cadence that draws the listener in. To be good at this, you should use the “power of the pause.” At key moments during the story, stop and wait a second, then continue. This will help reinforce the tension and anticipation which gives the story a great punch! 181

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Practicing Your Stories There are several ways you can practice story telling, but first, you have to know what to talk about. As previously mentioned, some of the best stories come from the leastobvious sources, so try and consider every detail of your day, and turn it into a brief story. A good way to practice your story-telling skills is to tell them to those you’re most comfortable with. Friends and family make excellent “pretend” audiences. Jump into how your day went, and share any interesting, unusual, or funny thing that happened to you. Another exercise for story telling is to practice in front of a mirror. You may feel silly doing this, but it works wonders! Use all the elements that we discussed, such as putting emotion behind what you’re telling, and adding in details. You’ll find that as you tell the story, you start adding elements that make the story more interesting to the listener If you can make the boring sound exciting, then you’ll become good at telling stories. Remember to focus on you and the emotions you felt from the experience. This helps with creating stuff out of thin air. Once you’ve tried and tested a few stories with great success, write them down to use later.

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Over time, the talent for telling quality stories will become second nature to you. Now storytelling is just ONE of the ways to create sexual tension. In the next section, we’re going to discuss how the push-pull technique will skyrocket the attraction that a woman feels around you…

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7 The Push & Pull of Sexual Tension

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What is Push & Pull? Before discussing the Push & Pull Technique in greater depth, I first want to refresh your memory about the importance of sexual tension. It’s no secret that mankind usually wants what it can’t have, and this is certainly true with women. It is for this reason that, when flirting, you want to create sexual tension by showing your interest in the girl, while not showering her with affection either. Think of it as the give-and-take of any encounter with a woman. The Push & Pull Technique is a core element to successful flirting, and in actuality, it is sexual tension. The idea behind the technique is to do things that pull women towards you, after which you push them away. It’s an advanced form of teasing that (if done correctly) will draw practically any woman to you. Think about it this way: If you know someone who very rarely compliments others, you would be extremely flattered if he actually did say something nice to you. His words have a certain value tacked onto them, due simply to their scarcity. In fact, it wouldn’t be farfetched to say that you’d go to greater lengths to receive similar compliments from them. It’s the SAME idea when flirting with women!

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For instance, consider the “nice guy.” He approaches a woman he’s attracted to, showers her with compliments, agrees with everything coming out of her mouth, and more. And because his affection is unlimited, she very rarely appreciates it. On the other hand, with the Push & Pull Technique, you do stuff that sends mixed signals to women. They’re never sure where they stand with you, and in effect, you become a challenge. You’re an unpredictable mystery that she feels compelled to solve!

Pulling The pull element of this technique is just that: You’re pulling (or drawing in) a woman towards you through your flirtatious nature. All the rules for approaching women (which we previously discussed) still apply here. For instance, you should never comment on a woman’s physical attributes when first meeting her. Remember – this is what other guys do, and you are one-of-a-kind. Instead, focus on her personality, intellect, etc. Another thing to remember is to not lay on the flattery too thick. When pulling a girl in, hint at your attraction to her. Decide one part of her personality you like, and comment solely on that. You could even joke with her that she can buy you a drink, or some other form of teasing.

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No matter what, keep in mind that your pull is NEVER complete acceptance. You’re simply giving a compliment that shows that you’re sort of interested in her.

Pushing First, allow me to stress one thing: Pushing is NEVER an insult (nor does it involve shoving her physically to the ground.) It’s merely a hint that you might not be all that interested in her after all. If done correctly, you’ll grab her attention; if done incorrectly, she’ll disqualify you.

Pushing is NEVER an insult.

And she’ll tell all her friends to do the same thing. For example, let’s say you’re chatting with a woman at a local bar. You’ve pulled her in through the usual methods of approaching: enthusiastic body language, mild touching, or complimenting her on some non-physical attribute. Your next tactic should be to push her away, which you could accomplish by turning your body away from her after she’s said something, or even disagreeing (respectfully) with her. If you’re a “nice guy” by nature, don’t worry – as I just said, you’re not supposed to hurt her feelings with this technique. The idea is simply to make her wonder if she’s being disqualified for something she said or did.

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Variations on the Push-Pull Technique There are four ways to push and pull during a ‘flirty conversation’. You’re going to have to know all, as each is equally important to the technique’s success. The better you implement these tips, the more attractive you will appear to the opposite sex.

#1- Describe Yourself Another good title for this section would be ‘Build Rapport’. In this step, your aim is to reveal a hidden quality of yourself that she can relate to. Use a story or opinion to show her that you have a unique way of looking at the world. Once the conversation gets going, you want to push her away by changing topics. This generally frustrates women, because they see an interesting side of your personality, and want to know more.

…don’t go overboard by revealing too much of yourself at first.

Even if she presses on about the subject, don’t go overboard by revealing too much of yourself at first. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that (if done correctly), she will start chasing you. Other guys who’ve tried this tip have told me that (in an effort to keep the conversation going) the girls started telling them their own stories.

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For example, a buddy of mine met this one girl at a house party a few months back. She started telling him about her work in social services, to which he shared with her his volunteer work at a local soup kitchen. Of course, she was sucked in immediately by his generous nature, and no sooner had he begun talking about something else did she resort back to the same topic, eager to learn more about him. With this method, you’re showing your interest in the girl (pulling), but dismissing her attempts to seek rapport (pushing). It’s powerful, because you’re showing good qualities, but actively moving AWAY from it.

#2- Creating Sexual Tension Girls do this all the time, but guys can be just as good at it. Almost every guy I know has been subjected to sexual tension by a woman. Females flirt with guys they aren’t even interested in. They go on dates, accept gifts, and act in other ways that appear as genuine interest. Then, as soon as the guy wants something more, they push him away. This leaves a lot of guys in the position of pursuer, chasing after a girl who never wanted them in the first place. Sometimes, they even feeling guilty for desiring her. And who can blame him? After all, she put up a great act in the beginning.

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But the good news is that this technique works both ways, and you can make it work for you too. Creating sexual tension involves making a woman feel a certain emotion, only to reveal to her that she was wrong. This may sound cruel, but trust me, it works. One method to try is to set up a date, or get her to imply that it’s a date. When you’re out with her, joke about how you don’t want to ruin your friendship. This creates that feeling of dissonance. Another method is to find those moments when the sexual tension is REALLY high. Pull her towards you (the “about to kiss” move), and then accuse her of trying to kiss you. Tell her that she’s like a little sister, and is acting weird. This keeps them in suspense. For example, I used to know this girl who had a reputation for crushing men’s spirits. Don’t get me wrong – she was hot, and like so many other guys, I couldn’t help but be attracted to her. But after hearing the horror stories about how she treated guys, I knew I had to go in with a different tactic. Instead of pouring on the flattery that she was so used to, I casually asked her if she wanted to grab some lunch with me. While we were eating, I used my body language to hint at my attraction to her, and it wasn’t long before she started flirting back. No sooner had she asked if I had a girlfriend did I tell her that I was only interested in being friends. This only increased her interest in me, and we went out for five months!

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#3 – Creating a Range of Emotions As you can probably imagine, this involves tampering with a woman’s feelings. Don’t get the wrong idea here – your goal is not to verbally abuse her. Instead, consider this emotional Push & Pull. For instance, flirt heavily with a girl until you know she feels the same way, and then suddenly diminish your affection towards her. Once she’s worked hard enough to regain it, flirt a little more with her. This may seem cruel, but in actuality, it feeds a woman’s need for drama and suspense. You can even use this with your story telling by focusing on a specific emotion (such as sadness), and then switching the tone over to humor. This keeps them interested, because they’re never sure where you are going with your stories.

#4 – Role Reversal In case you didn’t already know, women love to test men. More often than not, guys don’t even realize they’re being tested until being notified that they failed…miserably. But what if I told you that you can reverse this role women love to play, and use it for your own benefit? A role reversal of this sort is really just another form of Push & Pull. Here’s how it can work for you: 191

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Instead of answering her question, try a little “Social Jujitsu.” Take her question, ignore it, and then counter it with your own test. It’s not really about what you’re saying; it’s more about communicating that you really don’t care what she thinks. For example, instead of directly answering any of her “test” questions, respond by asking her why she’s so concerned. Whatever your response is, keep the emphasis on her emotional hang-ups with her line of questioning. To make this work, you need to disengage your emotions. Don’t be overly concerned with the outcome of the conversation. Remember that, deep down, all humans want to work hard for something worth having. This also holds true for sexual innuendos. It’s safe to say that most guys go for the sex way too soon. Remember that women are familiar with the male sex drive, and they know that nine times out of ten, that’s all we’re interested in. With that said, cutting to the chase and trying to get her into bed too soon usually will backfire on you. To elaborate, when a woman does start talking sexually to a man, he tends to take it as a green light to get her in the sack. But just because a girl gets kinky in her dialogue with you it doesn’t mean she wants to have sex with you.

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You can use this to your advantage in another form of role reversal. At some point, she’ll start to feel attraction for you and say something that “slips.” As a confident and secure man, how do you handle a suggestive comment of this nature? In short, go against your instincts by not responding with enthusiasm. Show her that you’re different from the other guys by not going in for the kill right away. In fact, you might even want to hint through your body language that you don’t necessarily approve of that kind of talk. This will make her wonder about her own attractiveness, and work even harder to get on your good side. A reader of mine tried this tactic once, and it worked perfectly for him. He said there was this girl he had his eye on for weeks, and he finally got her alone. Mid-conversation, she made a sexual suggestion, to which he responded with minimal enthusiasm. In fact, he even laughed it off by saying, “I’m not that kind of guy,” and quickly changed the subject. The very next day, she called 4 times to “hang out”.

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Sending Mixed Signals Is A GOOD Thing The essence of the Push & Pull Technique is that you’re purposefully sending mixed signals. You’re feeding into her need for drama by never letting her know what’s going to happen next. And besides, being too consistent and predictable is boring. Push & Pull is the perfect method for creating sexual tension. It involved being inconsistent, and doing it at the right times. Good examples of when you should send her mixed signals include: λ

Showing up when you told her you might not be able to make it

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Kissing or hugging her, then focusing your attention elsewhere

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Acting aloof at certain points during the date (i.e. be silent and don’t pay too much attention.)

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Doing things that are outside your character

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Saying one thing, and saying the exact opposite later on

These personality traits show a level of unpredictability, but don’t go overboard. You want her to think of you as unpredictable…not insane.

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As you’ve probably noticed, Push & Pull is in essence doing what women are ALREADY doing to guys. This is important, because you’re trying to turn the tables on the women you’re approaching. That’s why it’s important to first understand the techniques women use to draw in guys, which we will now cover…

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Why (and How) Women Test Guys An old buddy of mine used to date this girl that we couldn’t stand. In fact, we hardly ever saw him once he hooked up with her, because any time we wanted him to hang out, she would forbid him to come. She’d whine, give him ultimatums, and act like a complete brat until he finally gave him. In short, she was testing him, and he always failed! And still, for all the crap she put him through, she ended up dumping him for someone else. Of course, I wasn’t surprised when this happened, because women have one common complaint about men. They don’t like guys who they can treat like a doormat.

…[women] don’t like guys they can treat like a doormat.

So sure, my buddy’s girlfriend kicked and screamed whenever he wanted to hang with the guys, but I bet she wouldn’t have dumped him so soon had he stood his ground. What’s the moral of this story? Don’t act as though her tests are a life or death situation, because they’re not. If a woman tells you that she doesn’t like something, either do it more often, or tell her that she’s not allowed to whine to you. This let’s them know that you’re a challenge, and believe it or not, they’ll work harder to gain your approval.

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This might be hard for some of you “nice guys” to grasp, but consider this: Most hot women suffer from a “halo effect” that makes people treat them better simply due to their looks. In fact, they’re so used to getting their way, that whenever somebody challenges this habit, they tend to throw tantrums. But deep down, every woman wants a man to be in control of the situation. Of course, they’re not going to come out and say that, but there’s nothing sexier than a man in charge. So instead of getting worked up over a woman’s tests, consider it as an opportunity to demonstrate your alpha-male status. It’s been said that “you only get one chance to make a good first impression.” With that in mind, never forget that the first behavior you demonstrate will form her opinion of you. If you give in, she’ll basically view you as someone with no backbone; if you stand up to the challenge, she’ll see you for the man you truly are.

Why Do Men Fail Tests? For starters, they don’t recognize the tests. Secondly, they’re afraid to call the women on the tests. They view a fight as the end of the world, but in reality, the worst that could happen would be her leaving you. And

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if you think about it, why would you want to be with such a drama queen after all? I cannot stress this enough: Don’t doing anything puts you in an inferior position! Women don’t respect men who are easily controlled. Instead, combat her tests with humor to take the sting off of your defiance. And whatever you do, don’t react emotionally. She’s going to challenge you. You won’t be able to walk up to a woman, say a few lines, and expect her to go crazy with desire over you. If you want to get her number and make her interested, then expect that she’s going to test you. Testing is done by women as a way to weed out the winners from the losers. Early on, a lot of women developed this skill because they didn’t have time to figure out if a guy was worth talking to. When women test you, there are two results: You’ll either pass, OR you’ll fail; it’s really that simple. If you fail, then you’re chances of attracting her will probably drop to zero. Now you shouldn’t be mad that women will test you. It’s the natural order of things. Consider it like any other challenge. The important thing to remember is to not take these tests too seriously. If you show a lot of emotions or anger, then you’ve already lost.

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Furthermore, take the mindset that tests are good. When a woman tests a guy, it indicates that she has some interest in you. In a subconscious way, her tests are done to see if you’re like the other low-status guys who are boring and predictable. And if she is really interested in you, then you’ll probably receive a lot of challenges.

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Ways Women Test You When talking to women, you have to be wary of the tests they’ll use. There are lots of tests that women will throw at you. The following are some of the more typical ones:

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Qualification: Asking about things that determine what type of man you are (i.e. what type of car you drive; what kind of job you have; or past relationships.)

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Test Questions: “Do I look fat?” or “What do you think of THAT girl?”

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Passive-Aggressiveness: Showing up late or changing plans at the last minute. Women are consistently late, and they always have an excuse. If you have to show up for something at an exact time, tell her it’s an hour earlier.

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Compliance: Asking you to do something for her (i.e. buy her a drink, or pick her up in your car.) This is done to see if you’ll obey like a good little doggie.

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Being Fickle: She changes the rules as you make plans. It’s a gradual thing she’ll do to see if you comply.

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Disrespecting: This type of behavior should never be tolerated. The key is to use humor or a direct question to find out the reasoning behind her question. Also give her a chance to backtrack.

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Never allow mistreatment from a woman. If you do, you’ll be consistently disrespected. When correcting the problem, do it in a non-hurtful or angry tone. Remember this is the essence of confidence. λ

Changing You: If you have a hobby that you enjoy, she gets jealous over the time you spend doing it. This is an insidious way to see if she can own you.

Beware of a woman’s reactions during these times. This isn’t like being scolded by your mother; her tantrums and reactions are like a little kid who wants attention. If you’re still confused about how to detect a woman’s tests, consider these typical test questions or statements:

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“Are you dating other girls?”

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“Do you date a lot of other girls?”

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“Why are you still single?”

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“Are you trying to sleep with me?”

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“Are we going too fast?”

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“I never give out numbers. Can I have yours?”

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“Do you want a girlfriend?”

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“I’m really busy; how about I call you?”

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How to Handle Her Tests Women will ask a LOT of questions you might not want to answer. The best way to handle this is to be evasive. Again, use humor. For instance, if she asks if you’re seeing any other women, tell her, “Nope, other men.” If you keep the humor up, she’ll eventually give it a rest. Women will throw some off-the-wall questions at you sometimes, because they love putting men on the spot. How do you handle them? The truth is you don’t have to really answer them; most of the time, you can deflect or evade the question. While it’s important to deflect her tests with humor, confidence is also important. Answer with NO apology. This shows that you’re not ashamed of your past or the way you’re living your life now. If she gets to a point where she REALLY keeps testing, have a frank discussion as to why she’s asking these questions. The funny thing about women’s tests is that they aren’t really looking for answers to their questions. In a subconscious way, they’re looking for a reason to DISQUALIFY you. With that said, by answering a question, you’re potentially giving her a reason to not hook up with you.

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Some common responses to a woman’s questions can include: λ

Being sarcastic, or using humor.

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Asking her point-blank if she expects you to fall for that like other guys

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Keep on doing something that she asks you to stop (in fact, increase how often you do it.)

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Give back your own test or qualifying statements

I prefer to answer her questions with a question of my own. If you want to do this, just tell her you’re a naturally-curious guy, and let her know you won’t back down until you get a response. This tactic works because you’re not giving her an excuse to get rid of you. This is where “nice guys” make mistakes. Women want men who excite them. They’re not looking for a therapist (they have friends for that.) If you’re overly eager to pass her tests (like so many “nice guys” are), you’re actually setting yourself up for failure. Over the last few years, I’ve learned the best DEFENSE for handling tests is a good OFFENSE. That’s why I think it’s important to qualify women as soon as you know she’s interested in you. In this next section, we’re going to cover the specifics of reversing the ‘testing role’ with women…

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5 Test to Give Women Just as it’s important to be able to recognize a woman’s tests, it’s also important to do a little testing yourself. This is to ensure that you properly qualify her (more on that later on in the chapter.) The following are a list of more complex tests you can (and should) perform on a woman before fully committing to her:

#1- The “Gold-Digger” Test Some women look at a man’s ability to provide. Most women are unsatisfied with the corporate lifestyle, not because she’s incapable of working there, but because deep down, she desire the female family role. You can test her desire for money by bringing her on two or three inexpensive dates (coffee shops are a good idea.) Don’t be too cheap, but never bring her some place lavish (save that for when things between you get hot and heavy.) If she’s disappointed, or wants trinkets, then she might be a gold digger When you two are on your date, never talk about how much money you make. If she asks about your job, focus on the enjoyment you receive from the work you do, not the money. The “gold-digger” test isn’t a fun one, but it’s something you need to do if you want to avoid being used.

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The “gold-digger” text isn’t fun, but it’s something you need to do if you want to avoid being used.

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If you don’t, just imagine what it would be like to be around her for the next couple of decades.

#2- The “Spontaneity” Test Another test is to suggest something fun, but don’t tell her what it is. She should just trust your judgment. If she is NOT flexible or whines, you’ll know she’s not spontaneous. It’s really that simple!

#3- The “Sanity” Test If she’s crazy, you’ll ultimately be miserable. Trust me on this one…[Every time that “Crazy Bitch” song by Buckcherry comes on the radio, I get a little twitchy thinking of every insane girl I’ve dated] To be frank, there really is no test to this; all you need are your two eyes and a good judge of character. If she says or does anything that seems out-of-the-ordinary to you, it probably is. The old “where’s there’s smoke, there’s fire” adage is true. You’ll have a good idea of the crazy girls out there within the first few dates.

#4- The “Integrity” Test Give her money to pick something up at the store for you (make it something small, like a candy bar) 205

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If she gives you your change, you know she has integrity; if she doesn’t, ask her where your change is. You would be surprised at the number of women who would “forget” that they owe yo money and not offer to give it back unless prompted first.

#5- The “Give or Taker” Test In a perfect world, there would be an equal amount of giving and taking between couples. Sadly, this isn’t always the case. With this test, you want to see if she’s a giver, NOT a taker. She should be into pleasing you. A good way to test her desire to do so is to give her a shoulder rub. Shortly after, complain about your stiff neck. If she obliges with a massage, she’s a giver; if she doesn’t, you’ve got some thinking to do. Another thing I do is test to see if she offers to pay for stuff on dates. Being a gentleman, I ALWAYS pay for the first date. But if she doesn’t offer to pay on the follow-up dates, then I assume she’s a taker, not a giver.

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Always Be Testing Her When meeting a woman for the first time, so many guys make the mistake of working hard to impress her. They’re in the stateof-mind where they hope they say and do everything just right. As a result, they can’t help but take rejection personally. I want you to flip the switch on this one, and start seeing yourself as the test giver, not the test taker. In short, you are the one testing her. Ask her questions about herself, with a sincere motive of determining whether or not you want her in your life. This not only portrays you as a challenge, but it also shows that you’re concerned with who you hang out with. Be purposefully stringent. You want her to fail some questions. Also, you want to make sure the questions you’re asking reveal how you demand to be treated, so make them interesting. With qualification, you’re testing her out to see if SHE matches YOUR expectations. While this seems unimportant, qualification is something that needs to be done when you first meet a woman. On some level, she must feel that you like her for WHO she is, rather than the fact that she’s an attractive female.

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As you’ve learned, attraction comes before anything else. Once she’s attracted, this will increase your chances of going home with her, but this doesn’t mean she will want to get you know you any better. In order for her to feel a deeper connection to you, she has to know that she’s with you because you want her to be. And that’s why it’s important that you qualify her. With qualifying, you’re reversing the roles. One minute you’re attracting her, then next thing she knows you’re making her prove HER worth. Now for some guys, it’s hard to understand why qualification should be done. Women are used to guys who hit on them based ONLY on their looks, but with qualification, you’re letting her know that she means something more then a pair of tits and a face. In addition, it goes back to the theory that you like something the more you work for it. With qualification, you’re keeping it as a fun game that she gets to enjoy. By her investing in the interaction, she’ll HIGHLY value the time that she’s spent with you. With qualification, you’re playing a game where she’s trying to “win you over” at first. It’s through her actions and conversation that makes you attracted - not a pretty face or a huge rack. So when you qualify a woman what should you look for? Well this really varies. It should encompass all the qualities that YOU want from women. This can include intelligence, fun, adventure, or any traits that you want.

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Remember that qualification isn’t about pulling some routine to make a woman attracted. It SHOULD be about you honestly deciding if you want to be around this woman. When you qualify, you’re asking direct questions that show that you’re interested in getting to know her. Again, this goes back to figuring out if she is REALLY the right person for you. In other words, it’s not a ploy in order to get into her pants.

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Commitment and Consistency Before we move on to how to qualify, let me cover the underlying principle of why qualifying is important. In Psychology, there is a common theory called the Principle of Commitment and Consistency. Basically, your goal is to get her to prove herself by saying specific statements. From there, you’ll force her to prove herself. If people commit (verbally or in writing) to an idea or goal, they are more likely to follow through with it. That is the essence of the Principle of Commitment and Consistency.

If people commit (verbally or in writing) to an idea or goal, they are more likely to follow through with it

Humans will often agree to do something if they’ve already shown evidence that they believe this way. Even if the original incentive or motivation is removed after the agreement, humans will continue to follow through. In a social environment, we all want others to think we possess a number of good qualities. And whenever another person gets us to agree that we feel a certain way, we’ll often take steps to prove our commitment to this ideal. Here’s an example of what I mean: Imagine you open your door one day and come face-toface with a guy soliciting for a local politician. Most of the time, he’ll give a “foot in the door” question that any person would agree to. For instance, he could ask you a simple question like “Do you care about the safety of children?” About 99.999% of 210

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population would agree to this statement. Anybody who doesn’t, knows he would reveal himself to be a coldhearted bastard. By verbally affirming your desire to protect children, you’ve now been caught in the solicitor’s snare. He knows that you’ve committed to this statement, and you will start to act in a manner that is consistent with this ideal. After agreeing to the initial statement, the solicitor takes you through a series of statements that are all consistent with your desire to “protect the safety of children.” Eventually, he will try to get you to agree to vote for this politician because he’s the only person who could really care for the safety of our youth. This is a pretty extreme example of consistency and commitment. What you have to realize is this is a tactic that’s often used to manipulate our opinions. In a subtle way, you can use this technique to control the behavior of a woman. As an example, you could make a declarative statement about her life. Say something like she’s “boring” or “predictable.” Most women will bristle at a statement like this and will rise to your challenge. By doing this in a playful or teasing manner, you can get a woman to commit to proving the adventurous side of her personality. At first, she might not even be attracted to you. But by getting her to commit to being a fun girl, she’ll start to act in a more excited manner. Then she’ll transfer these feelings of fun on to the closest person – YOU!

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How to Qualify Women Start qualifying as soon as you get ANY interest from a girl. Say something like, “You seem [adjective like ‘adventurous’], are you?” Follow with a statement about how you only hang out with people who have that quality. You can also qualify by asking how many times they’ve demonstrated that quality. “You seem spontaneous, are you?” or “What’s the craziest thing you did in the last couple of months?” are some good way to accomplish this. If she’s hard-pressed to come up with an answer, then joke about how you never hang out with boring and predictable people. Another technique is to ask her where the craziest place she’s had sex was. You can get away with this technique, since you’ve already forced her to correspond under the idea of “commitment and consistency.” If she doesn’t respond to your question, she shows a lack of spontaneity. Challenging is the best way to qualify. It works because you’re making them take action on a statement they’ve agreed upon. If they don’t, they’re proven to be a liar; but by accepting the challenge, they’re proving the good qualities that you’ve already thought about them. To refresh your memory, I mentioned you should get a head start on qualifying by writing down all the qualities that you want from women. Even more important is to jot down the things you’ll NEVER accept.

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Practice looking for (and vocalizing) the traits you want, and make it a habit of introducing these qualities whenever you’re talking to a woman. Some comments can include: λ

“What do you have besides your looks?”

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“Would you consider yourself energetic?”

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“What are you most passionate about?”

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“What is the ONE thing you want to be when you grow up?”

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“What are some of your best qualities?”

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“What are your friends like?”

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“I really like adventurous people. Are you an adventurous woman?”

Honestly, most people stay in relationships by default, which is never a good idea. Keep an eye on her behavior, and make sure it’s what you want in a woman. The tricky part of qualification is getting her to actively prove herself. One mistake is to give the impression like you’re grilling her for a job interview. Remember this about keeping sexual tension and attraction. One way to qualify is to ask her direct questions about what she does. For instance, you could say something like “What places would you to like to visit?” Or if she makes a declarative statement, you could ask her what she means.

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The point behind asking a question is you’re not simply agreeing with everything that comes before her. Another way to qualify is to make statements about your interests and see where she goes with this. For instance, you could talk about the music you like and see how she reacts to this question. Finally, you could do a combination of the two. This will probably get the best results. One minute, you’re talking about your likes and seeing how she responds. The next minute, you’re asking different questions like: λ

“What’s your best quality?”

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“What do you have going on in your life?”

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“What do you like to do for fun?”

The key to qualification is to let her know when she makes a statement that you agree with. This is a subtle way of rewarding her for providing a question to which you agree. It can be something as a simple as complimenting her taste in what she likes to do. Or you can simple say something like “That’s incredible.” Now the key to qualifying is to do it in a number of ways. You want to have her prove herself on multiple levels. This should be a regular part of a conversation. One moment, you’re qualifying her, and the next, you’re having a normal conversation and talking about your

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interests. Then you’re talking about her life a little. Then you move on to the next qualifier. Part of having standards is being able to display the fact that you’re a picky guy. You want to show that you have a lot of options, and you’re used to women hitting on you all the time.

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Advanced ‘Push Pull’ Tactics in Conversations Once you’ve become comfortable with Push & Pull, there are a number of advanced tactics you can use. These are VERY effective for creating sexual tension, but you have to become comfortable with using them! The following are some techniques you should learn to accomplish this:

#1- Open Loops In short, this technique involves displaying interest in a woman, then slightly taking that interest away. This technique is probably my favorite, in that it really hooks the girl on an emotional level. She’s had a taste of what it’s like to have your affection, and she wants more of it! An example of how to use this technique would be to start a story or ask a question, and don’t resolve it. Instead, move onto something else. When humans are shown an unfinished idea, we seek that closure, and it creates tension that must be resolved. Have you ever had somebody start to ask you a question, only to stop and say, “Never mind”? By that point, you’re dying to know the remainder of what they wanted to ask you. You’re practically begging them to 216

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finish the question they started. It’s the same idea with women. Open loops will make women unconsciously and intently listen to the things you have to say. By knowing something that has NOT been revealed, you increase your value, and create that sexual tension you need. Other methods of applying the “Open Loops” technique are: λ

Delaying her stories: When she has something to tell you, refuse to listen. Make it on your terms. This will increase HER desire to tell you the new thing that’s happened.

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Silent treatment: This isn’t meant to be cruel, but rather it’s a powerful pause in a conversation. When she tells you something or asks a question, don’t immediately respond. This will create a dissonance where the person isn’t sure about your feelings, and as a result, she’ll become more emotionally invested in the conversation.

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Not giving a straight answer: Give a declarative statement, but make it vague.

She’ll wonder what you meant by it. Almost every girl will ask what you meant, and try to find out what you mean. For instance, say something like “You’re goofy.” When she asks for what you meant, smile and don’t respond. Make her work for the meaning behind your comments.

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#2- Make Statements, Don’t Ask Questions Again, LIMIT the questions you ask – Instead MAKE statements. Don’t just babble; make an impression. Describe your deep feelings for the things you care about. Keep control of the conversation by focusing on feelings, not conclusions. At first, you might not get much feedback, but over time you’ll get her to respond to your lead. If she asks a question, redirect it back to focus on an emotion. Again, you’re going to control 80% of the conversation. Lead women through the broad range of emotions. Make them bring something to the table of the conversation. Limit the rapport seeking questions (i.e. about her job, residence, age, etc.) This is typical of what other guys would ask. Instead, use questions to increase the feeling of familiarity that you have with this girl. Think of the statements you would ask a close friend that you’ve known for awhile. When you do ask her questions, make sure they’re open ended. ‘Close ended’ questions (yes vs. no) don’t allow for any further explanation or conversation. The questions and statements you make should be “seeding” further conversations. The trick is to ask stuff that connects to her emotion. Typically if I get stuck with what to say, I like to use my “ace in the hole”. Whenever she describes something or 218

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makes a statement, I ask “why” she feels this way. This allows her to open up and clarify (ie: emotionally connect) to the things she’s passionate about.

#3- Giving Compliments When a girl compliments you, all you really have to say is “thank you.” The conversation should be about you. Accept the compliment, and then use it to seed another conversation (i.e. if she tells you she likes your shirt, go into a funny story about what you had to go through to get it.) Now if you’ve been paying attention, then you probably noticed that I talk very little about giving compliments to women. So the question is this: Should you use FLATTERY on women during an initial conversation? Well the quick answer is YES. But allow me to explain what I mean… Most guys make the mistake of complimenting a woman on a physical characteristic like her looks or body. Obviously this annoys the HELL out them!

When you give a compliment on her physical characteristics, it shows that you ONLY care for her outward appearance instead of “what she’s about.”

When you give a compliment on her physical characteristics, it shows that you ONLY care for her outward appearance instead of "what she's about.” 219

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Furthermore, women get complimented on their looks by guys ALL the time. So your comments will simply make you seem like other men. The correct way to use flattery is to compliment a woman on something which she can control. For instance, you can compliment a girl on her personality or the things she says during a conversation. This works because your connecting her positive personality traits with the qualities that you’ve already described as being important. In other words, you’re giving YOUR approval to the specific things that’s she’s done during the conversation. Typically the BEST time to use flattery is during the attraction phase of your approach. In other words, you want to already be in the group and have built some rapport. The reasoning is simple. By giving a compliment at this point, it’ll seem more genuine then randomly using flattery on a woman as a way to initiate a conversation.

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8 The Fun, Flirty Guy…

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Being the Fun, Flirty Guy If you want to attract a girl, you have to find some way of intriguing her. In other words, you cannot simply walk up to a girl, introduce yourself, and expect her to fall headover-heels for you. When it comes to flirting, you get only as much as you put into the interaction. With that said, you must find ways to demonstrate how interesting of a guy you really are. You might be thinking, “There isn’t really anything all that interesting about me.” If these words are running through you head, quiet them…immediately! Remember that the mind is a powerful tool in both life and love, and if you don’t learn how to control it, it will control you. Everyone has qualities that set them apart from the rest. These can be as simple as a fun personality, or as complex as a skill you’ve studied and successfully used. Whatever it is, it should be something that will evoke strong emotions within her when she thinks about you. In this section, we’re going to talk about different routines and techniques you can use to amplify the flirting and

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attraction that you’ve built. This is the essence of being a “fun, flirty guy.” Let’s begin…

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Showing a Skill When it comes to skills, you don’t have to be able to tear up the dance floor in order to impress her. In fact, it’s often the more intimate and personal types of skills that make the best impact. Here are few of my favorites.

Magic Tricks Magic tricks are always good to know, not just for flirting, but also for working up a crowd. Just go to your local magic store and browse for any books on the subject. Don’t worry – you don’t have to be David Copperfield to impress anyone. You only have to learn a few small tricks to rouse someone else. Coin tricks work great, as do card tricks. Get a few of these under your belt, and you’ll baffle everyone in the room!

Handwriting Analysis Hand-writing analysis is another good skill to try, as it can be done practically anywhere. The one downfall to this skill is that you really can’t get by simply making things up. In short, you’ll have to learn a bit about this technique in order to sound credible. Buy a book, or browse the Internet for more information. 224

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When performing a hand-writing analysis on a girl, make her write something that you have dictated. A semi-flirtatious line such as “[Your name] is a fox and I always have fun around him!” would work just fine, as it has a nice alphabetical mixture to it. From there, take a good look at her penmanship, and analyze away!

Riddles, Rhymes, and Poems Memorize a few brainteasers to get into her head a little. Poetry also works well in this regard. Run an Internet search on “love poems,” and try to memorize a few lines (don’t forget the author’s name!) A side note on poems: It’s never a good idea to feed poetry to a girl you just met, and even if you’ve known her for some time, use it sparingly to avoid overkill. Instead, wait until she’s warmed up to you. Then (during a moment of sexual tension) recite the lines, and tell her that you felt as though it suited the moment.

Playing Music Playing a musical instrument will definitely help your love life. Next to athletes, musicians tend to magnetically attract women towards them.

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And the good news is that you don’t have to be on mainstream radio for her to notice your talent. If you used to play guitar, pick it up again. Piano, drums, bass…any instrument will do! Being musically inclined shows a deeper aspect to your personality. It demonstrates to a girl that you have feelings, and women love that. Now that we’ve covered the basics of skills, let’s cover my personal favorite…

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Cold Read For Flirting Cold reading is one of the best skills you can do to build attraction. For those who aren’t familiar with cold readings, they are simply predictions (such as palm reading) made about a person whom you’ve just Cold reading is met. Women love hearing about their destiny. Horoscopes, palm readings, tarot cards…you name it, and they love it!

one of the best skills you can do to build attraction…

Compared to men (who generally refer to the cold hard facts of life), women are drawn to the unknown and mysterious. Instead of living in the present, they have a habit of daydreaming about the future. If you can successfully perform a cold reading on a girl, not only will you be showing her a unique skill set of yours, but you’ll also establish a certain bond with her. You’ll give the impression of being able to read into her soul. (I know this may sound strange to you, but just trust me on this one) Before you try any cold-reading technique, realize one very important thing: Women want to feel as though they’re unique. With that said, any “predictions” you make about her must emphasize her individuality. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But I’m not psychic,” have no fear. While each woman is unique unto herself, she does share several similarities with her female cohorts.

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A desire for beauty, love, family, and success are only some of her potential aspirations. Use them to point out something about her, and if done correctly, you just might be accused of truly being psychic! If this sounds deceptive, then consider this: All of those “psychics” you see on television do the same thing, only they have the nerve to charge people for their time. They trick the public by being vague in their predictions. They spout off information that could easily apply to anyone, and people fall for it. When making predictions about a girl, consider her body language, clothing, statements, and expressions, and proceed from there. You don’t have to truly be psychic, nor do you have to know her entire life story to give her a good cold reading. Just build off of the information you already have. Here is a good example of how to accomplish this: Tell them that there is ONE side of their personality, but they have another side that’s kind of hidden from the world. Say something like, “You seem standoffish at first, but I bet when you’re around your friends, you’re a really caring, giving person.” Notice how generalized this statement is? Discuss how they ACT one way, but other times, they act completely opposite. In other words, the person they show to the world isn’t always how they really are on the inside. Accomplishing this builds rapport by showing her that you understand who she “truly” is. When she confirms your prediction, solidify things by saying, “I’m the same way.” 228

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Always tie your response to something they’ve responded to. The key here is to really observe people, and get a feel for what they’re really like. Have a collection of canned cold-reading lines you can pull out at any given moment. You can start now by getting out a piece of paper, and writing down all the things that are true about most women. When actually using these lines, only go after the women who demonstrate these qualities. Some generalized cold reading predictions could include:

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“People treat you differently because you’re good looking. In fact, you’ve probably had a hard time making friends, because you feel like you’re being judged because of your exterior looks – not what’s inside. You want to be liked for your energy and personality.”

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“You have a strong sense of independence. When somebody tells you that you can’t something, it’ll make you want to do it more.”

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“You tend to be more critical of yourself then others.”

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“You like variety and change in your life. A little bit of adventure makes you excited. ”

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“You cannot be described in one word. Sometimes you’re introverted, sometimes you’re outgoing, and other times you just go with the flow.”

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“You often project a confident attitude, but sometimes you have serious doubts about the decisions you’re making in life.”

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“You use first dates as a proving ground. If a guy doesn’t meet your criteria when you first meet him, then there’s probably little chance of a second date happening. If you cannot make an emotional connection, then it won’t be worth your time to see him again.”

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“You can be really sentimental at times. In fact, it’s hard for you to let go of even the most mundane of items. ”

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“You’re a hopeless romantic at heart. While you might enjoy dating, you secretly want a guy to sweep you off your feet.”

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“You want challenges in life. When you’re dating a guy, you want him to be at your level and not give into your bullshit.”

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“Even if you’ve dated a lot of men, you probably have a desire to be with one man.”

Personality Tests Another form of a cold reading that I prefer to use is a personality test. With a personality test, you're focusing the attention on the person who is taking the test and asking them a series of questions. Only after this person has answered do you use the personality test to tell them more about yourself. Personality tests are really effective, because people LOVE to talk about and know more about themselves. By giving a woman a personality test, you're focusing the conversation on her emotions.

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Furthermore, if you can interject humor and slightlysarcastic responses into the conversation, you'll be able to establish higher status. Personality tests can be an incredible way to spice up a conversation during the attraction phase, but usually they’re “one-trick ponies.” In fact, cold reading isn’t the only fun way to flirt with women. In the next section, we’re going to cover eleven different flirty games you can use to create and build attraction…

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Flirty Games To reiterate myself, you have to be fun when you meet women. More often than not, the normal ‘getting-to-know-you’ part of a conversation leads to awkward discussion that doesn’t do much for creating attraction. Instead of this, focus on things that’ll bring out the positive, emotional side of her brain. When you play flirty games, you focus on creating a fun vibe, while increasing sexual tension. Here are some of my favorites:

#1- F**k, Marry, or Kill One great game to play is called “F**k, Marry, or Kill” If you've ever listened to the Howard Stern Show, then you're probably familiar with this concept. The game is pretty simple: Pick out three people, and your girl that she has to choose which of the three she would rather marry, kill, and have sex with. You can either select three famous people for her, or three guys who are hanging out in the bar. I like to find three obviously dorky or weird looking guys. While this might seem a bit cruel, you get her to make her decision about these three guys. Once she’s decided, you can tease her about going to talk to “her husband.”

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Of course, you have to be ready to take the joke when she reverses roles and uses the game on you. While this might seem like an immature thing to do, women respond well to the opportunity to discuss their opinions, and of course, sex.

#2- Assign Her a Role This is a fun role-playing exercise that’s good for creating a deeper interaction. As you’ve learned, women connect to excitement, but it’s hard for them to feel this way about somebody they just met. To bridge this gap, I like to create a fun little game where I’m talking about needing help in one area. For instance, if I am talking to a girl, I’ll try to find out a few things about her, and use them to sound like she has the qualifications that I’m looking for. For instance, some of the things you can say you’re looking for are a: λ

Bodyguard

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Interior Decorator

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Girlfriend

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Personal Assistant

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Personal Chef

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Masseuse

The key here is to instantly shift into the role-playing scenario where she has to fulfill this role.

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For example, if she’s now your “girlfriend,” you can say something like, “So where are we going on our first date?” OR “I’m sorry about that time I cheated on you.” To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, consider this: I recently had a conversation with a girl where she mentioned she did some work in Africa being a Zoologist Psychologist, or something weird sounding. Of course, I had no clue why an animal would need a psychologist, but she went on to describe how she used basic psychological conditioning exercises to teach Cheetahs to do stuff. Now maybe I was just in a weird mood, but I went on a long role-playing story with her about how she’s now going to be my personal groundskeeper for my mansion. I described how she’s going to train an army of ferocious “Attack Cheetahs” to protect my properties. Then we’re going to ride a wave of battle cheetahs, and invade my neighbors next door. Slowly we’ll take over the whole area with our cats, and then create a special nature preserve. Throughout this conversation, I kept on qualifying her, trying to find out what other skills she could provide me with that’ll help realize my dream of ‘world domination’. I’ll be the first to admit that this conversation was a bit out there. Perhaps I drank too much caffeine that night, but the point is that I didn’t hesitate to latch on to something she said and make it fun for her to play along.

#3- Psychic Game This is fun game to play when you have a wingman that knows the trick and can help you out. All that’s required is three completely random items and a funny wingman. 234

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The premise is simple: Tell a woman that you have psychic powers, and you can prove it. Place three items in a row and tell her that when you turn your back, she has to lightly touch any one of the objects. Then your wingman will tell you to turn around. The set up is simple; you use the O.A.R. command words: O- Okay, A- Alright, and R- Ready. (Or create your own code words) When your wingman tells you turn around, he will use the secret command word to let you know which item she selected. For instance, if she picked an item on the left, he would say, “Okay, you can turn around.” If she selected the item on the right, he would say, “We’re ready, you can turn around.” If you can pull this off, she’ll be floored!

#4- Questions Game In this game, you can have fun and build a little chemistry. Tell the girl that you're about to ask her five questions, and that her goal is to answer each one of them incorrectly. For example, you ask her the first three questions, and on the fourth question, pretend like you’re confused. Say something like, "Crap – how many have I asked so far?” If she says “three”, she's lost the question game. [Feel free to tease and make fun of her] You laugh and point out that she just answered correctly to a question. If she catches on to the game, she’ll say, 235

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“Ha ha…nice try. You tried to get me." Your reply would be, "Wow! Have you played this game before?" Most girls will say they haven’t, and if she does, then you’ve caught her telling the truth on your fifth question too. [Feel free to tease and make fun of her]

#5- Never Have I Ever Some games work in different environments, and some work depending on the context and age of the crowd. If you’ve been in college for a period of time, or have been to younger parties, a great game to play is ‘Never Have I Ever’. The concept is simple: A group is sitting around with drinks, and each person takes a turn asking a question. The phrase of the question starts with “Never have I ever…” then he or she adds something to the end. Whoever HAS done that thing would take a sip of their drink. Typically, questions starts out with the innocuous “Never have I ever been kissed,” but they quickly evolve down to deeper interactions where you really learn about somebody. This game is definitely a group game that’s more for a private party or subdued location. It probably wouldn’t work in public venues with other people around. Also it’s definitely more for younger people. What you want to remember is that (in this situation) you need to be the guy that’s in control of the interaction and leads the playing of the game. 236

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Be the first to ask the racy questions, and be the one who shows that fun part of your personality.

#6- Simon Says This is a sexy twist on a familiar favorite. Make sure you both have drinks, and have her follow your every move. Play around for awhile. Eventually, raise your glass to drink a toast, and she’ll do the same. Make the toast again, and she’ll follow; only this time, you spit the liquid back into your glass. Odds are that she probably already swallowed her sip. To turn up the heat, mention that you didn’t tell her to swallow.

#7- Memory Game Together, study a couple, or a group of people. Then turn around and quiz each other about the details of the group. This is fun to do if you have a good memory and can show that you notice small details. This will also help you in the long run when you pick up on a woman’s personality and notice details about her.

#8- Staring Contest Declare a staring contest. 237

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Tell her, “I've never lost before…well actually I did lose once when I was like 7 years old.” Then you can play silly little games (or make faces at her) to trip her up.

#9- Thumb Wrestling Here’s a fun game to play when a woman asks you what you like to do for fun, or what your job is. Instead of going into the nitty-gritty details of your work, be evasive by not giving her a straight answer. Instead, tell her that you’re the local Thumb Wrestler champion, and you’ve never lost a battle. Then challenge her to a competition. I’ve found that the best way to play this is to cheat outrageously. Take your other fingers and press them down, and then walk around bragging about how you won another match. Keep playing and cheating until she’s laughing her ass off.

#10- The Lying Game Tell her how well you can spot a liar, and then ask her to make three statements, one of which is a lie. One fact of human nature is that when we lie, we don’t look straight ahead. People generally look to the left to remember a truth, and they look to the right (the creative side of the brain) to make something up. If she’s looking to the right, you know she’s telling you a lie! 238

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#11- The Truth Game This is probably my personal favorite! (In fact, many guys in the ‘Seduction Community’ have used this one with great success.) It’s simple to play. When you’re talking to a woman, find a quiet location and tell her that you want to play ‘The Truth Game’. Tell her that the rules are easy. You take turns asking each other a question. BUT, you can’t ask something that’s already been asked before. I typically like to turn things pretty sexual with my questions. And you would be surprised at how often women will follow your lead and reveal their sexual side. To begin the game, I typically start with “How many boyfriends have you had?” Again, I want to mention that this game (and the others) are meant to be fun. If you don’t get a positive response, then immediately move on to something else.

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9 Let the Seduction Begin!

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The Essence of Seduction If you learned anything from this guide, it’s that seduction begins well before you hit the bedroom. Everything from your opening line to ‘sealing the deal’ must be done with great care to ensure success. And if you’ve made it this far in my guide, you’re well on your way to just that. I’ve said it before that the most important element to seduction is sexual tension, and I stand behind this. If you’ve created and maintained sexual tension like any successful guy does, everything else will fall into place. In short, things will naturally turn physical. Determining how soon things will heat up is another matter. To better gauge this, it’s important to know the following: λ

When the flirting and sexual tension has sparked her interest

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The right way to show your interest

AND… λ

How to create comfort and rapport

Let’s take a look at each of these factors….

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Knowing When She’s Interest In truth, there could be several signs a woman will give you to show her interest. The biggest, perhaps, is her friendliness level towards you. Think about it: A beautiful girl can have any the attention of anyone she desires, platonically or romantically. With that said, if she’s showering you with attention, questions, teasing, and the like, she’s obviously got you on her mind! So many guys let this one fly under the radar, completely oblivious to her attempts at keeping the conversation going. Don’t make the same mistake. If a girl you like is working on progressing, give her a hand. If you’re not progressing, you’re regressing. Trust me - if they’re not comfortable, then you’ll be the first to know. You never have to ask a woman when she’s attracted. All you have to do is pay attention to her body language signals, and you’ll have all the information that you could possibly need.

All you have to do is pay attention to her body language signals…

The truth is women give off flirting signals all the time which indicate their attraction to a guy. Known as flirt signals, these are signs that women show a guy when she’s actively interested in him. Now the conventional wisdom states that you should wait until two or three flirt signals to increase an interaction. Honestly, I believe it’s context specific.

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For instance, if you get three “weak” responses that could be interpreted as “flirt signals,” then this might not mean much. On the other hand, if you literally feel a girl hovering right up against you, then you know you’re receiving a strong indicator that she wants you. Flirt signals can really be broken down into two major categories: Attraction Signals: When a woman likes you during a conversation, and is sending you signs that you should initiate a deeper connection, and Sexual Signals: This one is easy. When you’re in a conversation, and she’s sending you clear indicators that she wants you to physically escalate things Now I left out the discussion of women flirting until this point for a specific reason. I think guys spend too much time occupying their minds of only looking for specific signs from women that they’re attracted. The problem is women don’t really show these signs most of the time. In order to truly improve your success with women, you have to become the guy who can create attraction at the drop of the hat without a girl sending you any signs. So I didn’t want to include any discussion of approach signals till now. Another point I want to make that’s tied into the attraction phase is this: When you get both Attraction and Sexual signals, you’ll be at a point when you can make two decisions: You can either go to ramp up the attraction, OR go directly into the seduction phase.

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Personally, I like to use at least a brief bit of qualification with every interaction I have. The logic is that the more qualification and the more a woman has “earned” my attention, the better value the interaction it is. This helps ease the process once you’ve entered into the seduction phase. Trust me – you’ll appreciate taking a little time to qualify a girl later on when she offers no resistance to your sexual advances. For now, let’s delve a bit deeper into these two flirting signals:

Attraction Signals The workhorse of flirt signals can be found during the conversation. The key to any successful interaction is to be able to spot the moment when it’s on! This is when you realize that the stories, routines, and gimmicks you used have created attraction. The reason attraction signals are important to spot is that they provide a visual example of her general interest in getting to know you better. Remember when I discussed before the Bitch Shield?

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This is the generally unpleasant vibe that women will send when a guy initially approaches. When you receive attraction signals, you know that you’re broken through her Bitch Shield, and she’s now interested in what you have to say. I think attraction signals are important for one basic thing…they’re great for feedback about when you should escalate an interaction. Honestly, I like to look for at least two or three attraction signals, because at this point, I know it’s on, and all I have to do escalate the interaction and turn things more physical. So simply put, attraction signals are there to remind you that you need to move past the initial introduction phase and focus on isolating, qualifying, and physically escalating. Here are some of the more common signals: Signal #1 – Asks About You When you approach a woman, you’re a random stranger that wants something. But you know you’ve reached the point of value when she wants to know more about you. Typically, they’ll do the same “comfort building” techniques that untrained guys do. This means asking questions about your age, background, name, job and hobbies. Signal #2 – Asks About Your Girlfriend This one might as well be a big red arrow on her chest that says “She wants me.” When a girl starts talking about your girlfriend, she’s hoping that you’ll tell her you’re single and available. 245

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This is one of those signals that pretty much means you’re in. I’ll often use only this one as feedback that a woman is into me. Signal #3 – She teases or challenges you Guys get unnerved when women challenge or tease them. Me? I think it’s a great thing! When a girl is being playful and bantering with me, then I know she has some attraction. Often I’ll give a nickname to a girl and see how she responds. If she tries coming back with a name of her own, then I know she’s attracted. Signal #4 – She laughs at your stories or jokes I’m a pretty funny guy, but when a woman is laughing at ALL my stupid lines, then I know she’s trying hard to make a connection of her own. Signal #5 – She’ll maintain or initiate physical contact. Physical contact is a way to tell if a woman has a physical attraction to you. An easy indicator check is to lead her through the crowd, and hold her hand. If you squeeze her hands and she squeezes back, you’re in. When you take the time to look for flirting cues, you'll discover she's sending signals which mean she wants to get to know you better and make things more intimate!

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Be careful, because sometimes women will show you indicators even if they aren’t interested in you. You have to learn how to tell when a woman is demonstrating real signs of interest. Signal #6 – She compliments you This is another try hard. When you’re telling stories and demonstrating high status, look to see how she reacts. Often you’ll get compliments about your accomplishments. These are another way to build a deeper level of rapport. Signal #7 – She hits or acts mad at what you say Attraction is built on emotion – good AND bad. Even if a woman seems annoyed or playfully hits because of something you’ve said, this means that you’ve connected to one of her emotions. I personally like this one because you’ve created banter that can help you take things to a physical or sexual level. Signal #8 – She calls you a player When you become good with women and build attraction in two seconds, you’ll start to have women question how come you’re really good at this. Often, they’ll make the assumption that you’re a player or some sort of pickup artist. While on the surface this might seem like a test, in actuality it’s a hidden signal that she has some interest in you. Signal #9 – She asks you to teach (or show) her something 247

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During the attraction phase, you’re job is to show that you’re a cool, interesting person with lots of fun interests. A byproduct of this is that women will often ask you to teach (or show) what you know. This generally means she has an interest in who you are and would like to find out a little more about you. Signal #10 – She’ll try to get a reaction This is a signal that comes up often, but is hard to pick up. Just like men, women often do or say things to get some sort of reaction out of a guy. Typically they’ll try to elicit responses like jealousy, desire, or attraction. When a woman mentions stories about her life that would often get emotions out of guy that means she wants you to take notice of her. Signal #11 – She’ll draw closer to you She'll do this to show a desire to create more intimacy during your conversation. She may even lower her voice so you have to move closer. When you see this, you're receiving an incredible sign of attraction! Signal #12 – She agrees with everything you say Purposefully disagree with her. If you suddenly realize that she's changing her opinion to match yours then you know that she is trying to appeal to you. This is a classic indicator of attraction! Signal #13 – She holds lengthy eye contact

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You can easily tell when a woman is disinterested when she’s looking around a room and doesn’t really care about what you’re telling her. But the opposite is true when she’s holding lengthy contact. If she’s not breaking from your gaze and seems hanging on your every word, then you know she’s captivated by what you’re saying. Signal #14 – She fills in the pause Conversations often have breaks and lulls. This is usually the moment when a disinterested person will make an excuse to move away. But if you find her saying things like “So”, “Well” or “Anyway,” this means she’s making an attempt to continue the conversation that she’s been enjoying. Signal #15 – She tries to build rapport This is similar to signal #1. When you find a woman actively trying to deepen your connection and fill in the blanks of your life, she’s subconsciously wondering what it would be like to part of it. Signal #16 – She stays with you after her friends move away In a bar or club environment, groups can be fluid. Most of the time her core group will want to move around to another part of the venue. When this happens, look for how she reacts. If you find she’s trying to stay near you, then this is an indicator that she wants to be around you.

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Signal #17 – She waits for you People use excuses like going to a bar, the bathroom, or to meet friends as an excuse to move away from an uninteresting person. If you decided to move away and she’s still there, then this is a strong indicator that she wants to continue where you left off. Signal #18- She approaches you again In a bar or club environment, conversations can be fluid. One minute you’re talking to one group. Two seconds later, you’re engaged in a conversation with another bunch of people. Often this means you’ll build attraction with one girl, but for some reason, something happened where she had to move away. If you find that a girl you’ve previously met tries to engage you in a conversation, then she’s trying to reestablish that connection you’ve made. For instance, say you met a girl and she comes back to tell you she’s leaving. This is the moment where you go for her number.

Sexual Signals There are flirt signals that mean she wants to increase the attraction, and there are some which show she wants you to take it to a physical level. Sexual signals are the type of body-language cues which indicate a heightened level of arousal.

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When you receive this type of flirting signal, you’re receiving the signs that she wants to you to progress things to things like physical contact and/or kissing. A lot of sexual signals are intuitive. Often you won’t even receive a signal that she wants you to physically escalate. Instead you’ll simply feel a “vibe” that she wants you to take massive action. In this area, we’re going to cover the more predominant type of cues that you can receive from women. Simple advice: If you see any of these…make your move! Signal #1 – She seems jealous Jealousy is a powerful emotion. When you first start talking to a woman, she might not even be aware that she’s attracted to you. But if you start talking to another girl, the green monster of jealousy will rear its ugly head. If you notice a woman displaying jealous emotions, it’s time to make your move. Grab her and start kissing. Signal #2- She moves close to you As I said before, we gravitate towards the things we like. When a woman feels an emotional bond, she’ll gravitate closer to you. Spatial differences are a direct link between the people we know and don’t know. While this is largely based on our culture, it’s human nature to be closer to people that we like and trust.

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When you see a girl moving close to you during a conversation, this means you’re casting her under your spell. Signal #3- She’ll touch herself When a woman is talking to you, she'll signal interest by stroking her neck or touching her hair. Also she might even touch her thigh! I personally LOVE seeing these signs of flirting! That's because when a woman touches these sensitive areas, she's probably thinking about what YOU could do to them. Signal #4– She’ll touch you At first, you’ll will probably be doing all the touching. But after awhile, a woman will start touching you to show that she has heightened levels of sexual attraction. When you see her progressively increase in her physical interaction, then you know that she ready to increase the sexual chemistry. Signal #5– Her legs will touch yours When you’re sitting down, you’ll have a good chance to observe her body language. This is the golden opportunity to see the proximity to your area. As you’re sitting down, take some time to see if her legs are touching yours. If she’s making frequent contact and she’s in your personal space, then you know she’s open to increase the intimacy. Signal #6 – Open Body Language 252

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Women will show "open" body language when they’re near guys they’re sexually attracted to. Again, these will include actions like playing with her hair, facing you, and exposing her wrists/neck/inner thigh. The more she seems willing to be near you, the more she’s apt to be kissed and have the interaction physically escalate. Signal #7– Lingering Pause The lingering pause is when a woman will stop in the conversation and stare at your face. This is one of the three signals that she wants to be kissed. Signal #8– Her pupils will dilate When you’re talking to a woman, you’ll experience some moments when her eyes will reveal high levels of attraction. The first of them is pupil dilation. All human beings reflexively dilate their pupils when we’re talking to a person we find attractive. This is the second of the kissing signals. Signal #9– She'll scan your face including your eyes and lips This flirting cue demonstrates a desire that she wants to be kissed! When a woman moves her eyes back and forth between your eyes and mouth, she's thinking about you kissing her. When you see this flirting sign, act right away...

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Start kissing her!

That’s not the only signals you’ll receive. In fact, there are a number of other signals that a woman is attracted to you. In fact, here are a number of additional signs that she’s interested in you:

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Her eyes soften: This is another subconscious move on her part. In effect, she’s giving you her “sex eyes.”

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You catch her staring: If you think you notice her checking you out every so often, odds are that she is!

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Her arms are uncrossed: Just like crossed arms mean a closed-off personality, maintaining an open upperbody shows she is ‘open’ to what you’re saying.

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She moistens her lips: This is an oh-so obvious sexual signal that she’s dying to kiss you!

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She strokes her body: If she does this, she’s subconsciously trying to tell you she’s in need of caressing…by you.

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She positions herself towards you: When you like something or someone, you give it your full attention. If her body is facing yours, this is a very good sign.

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She mimics your posture: This is different from facing towards you. If you bend forward, she bends forward; if you sit up straight, so does she. She wants to by “in synch” with you.

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Her eyes open up: If she’s not giving you “sex eyes,” she’s trying to show that she’s extremely enthusiastic about you and what you say by widening her glance.

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She touches you a lot: This is NOT a subconscious flirting signal! Trust me – if a woman touches you for various reasons, she’s very aware of it. In other words, she’s trying to tell you she likes you.

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She fiddles with objects: If you think she has an obsession with salt-and-pepper shakers, you’re mistaken. She’s really just a bit nervous around you, and doesn’t know what to do with herself.

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She uncrosses her legs: If a woman sits with her legs slightly opened, she’s revealing an unsatisfied sexual need. Crossing and uncrossing her legs is a good sign of this.

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She maintains her glances: Similar to occasional glances, if she maintains eye contact with you, she obviously sees something she likes. On the other hand, if she’s staring, she might be a little nuts, so watch out.

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She holds her hands open: Similar to standing with her arms open, this is a sign that she wants you to approach her.

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She ignores her drink: If you’re going to drink, then drink! On the other hand, if she’s just holding onto the glass, she’s otherwise preoccupied…with you!

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She leans into you: If she leans towards you while you’re talking, she’s demonstrating that you have her undivided attention, and she wants to get closer to you.

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She fiddles with her hair or clothes: This is a subconscious habit that basically means she wants to look good around you.

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Final Thoughts on Signals No signal is perfect. At no point should you wait around for the proper invitation to take action. Every interaction should be lead by you, and you’re the one that’s in control. So don’t feel like you have to wait for the right moment to do something. Use the signals as a guideline – not as a universal truth.

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Showing Your Interest Let’s say you’re flirting successfully with a woman you’ve qualified. You’ve executed the Push & Pull Technique as I taught, and have gradually established rapport with her. By now, she’s dying to get to know you better, but the truth is that she’s probably got a lot of guys to choose from. How do you make her choose you? In short, you HAVE to show a deeper side of your personality. You have to demonstrate that you’re also interested, without coming off as too needy. Seduction is almost like a dance. Men are required to initiate (or ask the girl to dance), and then we’re required to take the lead. Doing so means you have to take two steps forward, and one step back. Don’t be in a rush; just enjoy the music. So when is the right time to step back? Once you feel you’ve successfully flirted enough to gain her interest, give her some space to breathe. Take a step back to show that you have discipline and confidence. You’re not insecure, nor are you overwhelming her with your attention.

Demonstrating Your Interest Attraction is NOT the only element to seducing a woman. To be honest, women are attracted to guys all 257

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the time, but do nothing about it. Even if a girl likes a guy and thinks he’s interesting, he could say one wrong thing and she will quickly disappear. Now as I discussed in the qualification stage, it’s important to get a woman to prove her worth around you and show that she thinks you’re interesting. Only then will you be able to work towards a seduction. The goal of a properly-executed qualification stage is make her prove her worth. By doing this, she’ll take more of a risk by talking to you. In other words, by qualifying herself, a woman will put herself on the line, which is something that you want her to do. The problem arises when a woman is demonstrating her value and you do nothing about it. In order to build sexual chemistry, at some point you must how that you’re attracted to her.

In order build sexual chemistry, at some point you must show you’re attracted to her.

In other words, if she gives the appropriate responses to your qualification statements, then you give her subtle demonstrations of your attraction. Ultimately this will help build sexual chemistry. You have to go back to your understanding of women. The truly attractive women are used to having tons of men hit on them. In order to weed out the losers, they only go for the guys who have demonstrated enough value. In other words, they like guys who show that they’re equal to or better then the woman.

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With qualification, a woman feels like she has earned your attraction. And it is not due to her looks. You like her for who she is and what she did in order to attract your attention. Obviously when a woman does something that passes one of your mini-tests, it’s important to let her know that you appreciate her efforts and how she’s passed your test. What you want to do is show that you’re interested in her. One way to do this is with your body language. Earlier, I discussed how to discover her flirting signals. When you go to show that you’re interested in her, you want to give her these same body language cues. Remember how women can pick up on these cues. By giving her positive body language, you’re basically telling her that you like what she’s doing. This is where compliments can really work for you. Just remember that you never want to compliment on something like her looks. Instead, you want to give her a genuine compliment on something that she is actively doing. This will make her feel a stronger pull towards the compliment. Plus it’s something that she can control. Some comments can include: λ

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“You seemed weird at first, but now that we’re talking, you’re actually a pretty cool person.”

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“My first opinion was wrong. You seemed like a party girl, but you’re way more intellectual then people give you credit for.”

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“I never like people that I meet at a place like this, but you seem different.”

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“You have an incredible level of energy.”

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“You’re pretty fun to talk to.”

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“Your friends seem to love you!”

Remember compliments should come at a point where she does something that you enjoy. If she’s wearing something unique, then you can compliment her. If she’s a genuinely funny person, then say something about it. In other words, these should be compliments that come from a place where you’re actively qualifying her, AND she’s passing all of your tests.

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Rapport: Building That ‘Special Connection’ There is a whole horse-before-the-cart problem that guys have. When they initially meet a woman, they launch into basic questions about a woman’s background. These are the ‘name, rank, and serial-number’ type questions that do nothing to create attraction. While these questions are great for getting to know a woman, it does nothing to build attraction. That’s why I emphasized the importance of building sexual tension throughout this guide. Now there is a world of difference between attracting a woman and seducing her. While she might have some attraction to you, it doesn’t mean she’s going to sleep with you or let you initiate sexual contact. And that’s where rapport comes in! When you build a ‘special connection’, you’re bridging the gap between a flirty conversation towards something more meaningful. Now if you did a good job qualifying her, a woman will start to feel heightened levels of attraction for you. In fact, during qualifying, you show that you have you have some attraction for her. The problem is she’s going to want to know that you’re a real person and not somebody who is out to “get in her pants.”

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So during rapport, you have to make a few deposits in the “bank of trust.” In other words, she has to have something that’ll deepen the connection that the two of you share. First, for rapport to really work, she has to have some attraction towards you. The best way to do this is through (what else) qualification. So many guys try to establish rapport by giving the woman the power. In other words, they try to make her see how awesome they are, not the other way around. The goal of any conversation is to make the woman feel that you two have a lot in common. You can actually use qualification to accomplish this. For instance, tell the woman something like, “You don’t seem like the type of girl who goes to places like this.” Whether she says yes or no, you can reply by telling her you like good girls. This will make her feel special, and draw her into you. Rapport is the bond where you feel when you’re around someone who is like you. You don’t have to be star-crossed lovers; anything from sharing similar interests to appreciating each other’s jokes can make a solid connection. Rapport breaks through to her levels of trust, and lowers her defense at the same time. Forget the lame notions of ‘mirroring’ or other PROVEN methods of seeking rapport.

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This might work in a work setting, but does little to build attraction. Women want to be with superior men, not someone just like them. And besides, she is supposed to mirror you, not the other way around. To feel a connection, you have to act as if you’re already the closest of people. Avoid asking rapport-seeking questions like her name, where she’s from, or what she does for work. This only further emphasizes that you DON’T know one another. Rather ask surface questions. “Is there a story behind that necklace?” “I was thinking of naming my dog Mooch. What do you think of that name?” “Why would anyone date a guy named Herman?” I know these sound silly, but they’ll grab her attention, and get the ball rolling on a great rapport-building conversation. If you really want to get good at building rapport by asking unique questions, go to a speed-dating event (all the major cities host them), and practice the art of NOT asking questions about herself. Instead, do surface questions. Discuss different interesting stories that never really tell who you are as a person. Your goal is to maintain the idea that the two of you are the best of friends Your questions are one thing, but how do you handle HER questions?

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My advice is to respond to each with a little story. Feed her imagination by making her want to learn more about you, and give her more than just the bland details. If you’re not confident in your ability to do this, try these advanced rapport-building techniques:

#1- Trading Emotions This technique helps you to build value in her eyes. Think about it: Does anyone appreciate something that’s given for free? If she asks where you got your tattoo from, respond with something like, “I’ll tell you, but you have to do something for me first.” Maybe she could let you try on her hat (which will make her laugh) or give you a neck massage. Whatever it is, makes sure you barter back and forth. She’ll appreciate your responses more if she has to work for them.

#2- Commonalities Instead of asking her a series of questions, talk about your own experiences. Women love stories, and the more you draw them into them, the more they’ll find in common with you. In effect, she’ll end up working hard to gain rapport with you. Get started by practicing talk about the things that have happened to you, but do it in an entertaining way. Stories work well to accomplish this. When you see women relating to what you’re saying, you’ll know it’s working. 264

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You can even find commonalities with cold readings. Point out her body language by saying things like “I noticed you like watching people. You seem to be an observer.” Even better – join her in her people-watching ventures. You’re sure to share a lot of laughs doing this together, and building mega rapport too!

#3- Assumed Familiarity The essence of building rapport is to create the illusion that she’s already familiar with you. Just think about how you act with your buddies: You don’t ask standardized questions about their lives; you just talk to them! Of course, you should refrain from treating her like “one of the guys” (this goes without saying), but do try to make her feel less like a stranger. If she’s resisting your friendly presence, then it’s going to be hard to work on a seduction. Odds are she suffers from a hardened trust system, and you should tread lightly if you want this to work. Patience is the key to success with women who hold strong barriers. If she’s trying really hard to resist rapport, focus your questions more on your immediate surroundings, and less on getting-to-know-you. Comment on the song that’s playing, or how loud the venue is. You’ll know when she’s finally warming up to you. 265

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The art of assuming familiarity with a girl is choosing the right words. This goes beyond the topics you discuss to include what you actually say. Choosing words such as “we” or “us” when speaking to her will subconsciously indicate a sense of connection within her.

Physically speaking, you can do things that show how you’d like to get to know her. For example, let’s say you’re in a bookstore. Ask to look at the book she’s holding, and at the same time, tell her to hold something for you. This demonstrates that you’re comfortable around her, and it builds rapport by physically giving and taking.

#4- Eliciting Values One of the best ways to really tell if a woman will like you is by eliciting values (EV). The point behind an EV Test is to really discover deep down what her ideal man would be like. Then you can use the information to build attraction. Now the important thing is to look beyond the exterior message of the EV. Instead, you're trying to discover why she feels that way. For instance, if she's talking about needing a tall man, find out why tall men appeal to her. A typical response is that tall men make her feel safe. Even if you aren’t tall, you can take steps to make her feel secure throughout your interaction.

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Every person in the world has basic desires, even good looking and popular women. Even a woman who seems to have everything secretly wants something more. It can be anything from freedom to a bit of excitement. Your job is to find out what she wants and work hard to fulfill it. An EV test is also a valuable tool for creating a positive association. First ask her what the ONE thing she would like to be doing with her life is. Get her to describe her dreams for the future, and then ask her to fully imagine what living this life will be like. She might say that her dream life would make her happy and content. As you are eliciting values, she’s starting to actually feel positive emotions. The mind is a powerful thing. Then at the end of the EV test, you can tell her that you've just helped her feel those wonderful emotions. In her mind, she's achieved her dreams during the past few minutes. And of course you've been the one to help her make this instant connection.

#5- Recovering Now there will be times when you realize you’ve run out things to say. You’ve used your openers, told some stories, and tried every technique you know. Now what? 267

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You start getting her to talk about herself! Odds are there is something about her life from which you can relate. By asking her about herself, you’re literally “fishing” for some commonality which you can use to build rapport. There is one major thing to remember asking her personal questions: You want to ask questions that allow you to build an emotional connection, so avoid questions that may lead to boring conversation. This means NO questions about her work, her neighborhood, etc. Besides, guys probably ask her those questions all the time. Instead, ask her to talk about where she’s from, her favorite movie or book, where she sees herself in five years, or her family. Show her that you really are interested in her as a person. Some creative questions include: λ

“If I invited my friends over to your place for dinner, what would you cook?”

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“If you could have sex with the ugliest dude in the world or drop dead right now, would you choose?”

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“What is the most profound compliment or insult somebody has ever told you?”

For more ideas grab a copy of The Book of Questions by Michael Webb. Just remember that no matter what, excitement and interest are important in ANY conversation, so in order to make her excited, you have to be willing to ask exciting, provocative questions! 268

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The 3 Rules for Rapport To REALLY make rapport work, you should follow a few guidelines. During this phase of a conversation, you must demonstrate trust and show that you’re a normal guy. This can be done through the things you say AND your body language. Here are THREE rules for rapport:

Rule #1 – Be Genuine, But Challenging One mistake guys make is to do nice things in order to “get a woman” (physical contact, kissing, or sex). Typically most women know that any ‘nice guy’ has ulterior motives for his behavior. She knows that he probably wants to take a friendship to a physical level. Instead of acting like a pushover, you should behave in a genuine manner. Women want a guy who isn’t afraid to act like himself and be a little challenging. This is why being cocky and funny at once works so well. So instead of kissing her ass, you should banter during your conversation.

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Rule #2 – Make Her Feel a Connection to You When a woman initially meets a man, she needs to feel a connection. If you can make her identify with your life, then she’ll become more “emotionally invested” in the interaction. The best way to make a connection is to demonstrate that you have interesting things going on in your life, and she can be part of it if she continues to hang out with you. The best way to make a connection is to tell interesting stories. Women want to be with a high-status guy who lives an exciting life. By telling stories about your life (in a nonarrogant manner), you’ll show that you’re a fun person who does interesting things.

Rule #3 – Establish a Commonality Whoever said “opposites attract” was full of shit! Women are drawn to guys who they can picture being part of their lives. A girl should be able to imagine introducing you to her friends and family without feeling an “icky” or uncomfortable feeling, so at some point, you have to show that you have common interests or viewpoints.

Women are drawn to guys who they can picture being part of their lives.

This can be hard if you don’t have too many things in common. If you’re struggling to find a commonality, I recommend you ask about the things she likes and identify with whatever she’s saying.

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For instance, even if you don’t know a thing about surfing, you can ask her questions about it. Then try to find a hook in her responses to something in your life. Creating comfort is an important element for bringing an interaction closer to a sexual encounter.

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The Timeline of Rapport Rapport is something that will help your increase her trust and will help your deepen her levels of attraction. The funny thing about the rapport is it never follows a set pattern with women. You could move through the rapport stage in an hour with one girl, while for another, it’ll take months. So it would be unfair to put some arbitrary time line on how long it takes to move through this process. Just remember that you can’t have seduction without her first feeling like she can trust you. There will be a lot of outside factors involved with comfort. She could be dating other guys, or she might get busy. Just remember that attraction is like a string: If you keep the tension tight, then seduction will happen, but if you allow it to go slack, then you’ll destroy your chances. The one thing about comfort is there is a correlation between the intensity of “getting to know” somebody. If you’re able to build comfort over a couple days during the week, then you’ll have built a lot more comfort then a guy who sees a girl once every couple of weeks. Remember sexual tension is something that must be maintained constantly.

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Another mistake is to only focus on building attraction when during the first meeting with woman. While flirting is vital to making a woman generally interested, it’s the comfort that must be built. A woman won’t really want to talk to a guy unless there was a connection that goes deeper then a bit of flirting and attraction. Rapport is one of the final steps towards seducing a woman. As I stated before, comfort is vital towards moving towards a seduction. When you’re getting to know one another, you’re literally taking a step back and showing that you have interest in what she’s about, not what she looks like. In a dating sense, rapport is the bond between two people who feel heightened levels of attraction and a connection to one another. When a connection occurs, the couple can build a level of trust that quickly leads to an intimate experience. When you establish rapport with a woman, she will willingly go out with you. Rapport often transitions easily into a sexual encounter. Here are a few ways you can increase levels of comfort:

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λ

Find out more about her

λ

Go on dates

λ

Increase the physical escalation, remembering to pull back before sex

λ

Continue attraction, qualifying, and other routines

λ

Introduce her into your fun life

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λ

Ease back on the teasing

λ

Make her comfortable being alone with you and having you not make a move.

λ

Learn more about her life (job, interests, home life, and other traits...Do this past the attraction/flirting phase)

λ

Spend time together, even if they’re not dates.

λ

Show a more serious side of your personality.

λ

Demonstrate your passions and lifestyle.

λ

Discover similar tastes, interests, and opinions.

λ

Show a basic level of trust.

λ

Do fun activities together

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Tone down the humor and other sarcastic responses.

λ

Have a normal conversation without using too many routines or gimmicks.

λ

Build comfort over the phone and through text messaging

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Discuss common interests and hobbies.

λ

Demonstrate a dynamic personality, and bring up interesting topics.

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The Next Step… Up to now, you’ve done only things: λ

You’ve isolated her into a conversation.

λ

You demonstrated qualities she loves in a guy.

λ

You’ve used your non-verbal communication and touching to build sexual tension.

λ

You’ve used stories, routines, and push-pull techniques to amplify this tension.

λ

You’ve created a fun environment by showing your skill and playing flirty games.

λ

You’ve qualified her to make her know that you’re NOT like other guys.

λ

You’ve increased the intensity of the interaction by establishing rapport.

So what’s the next step? As you build rapport, you’ll start to feel close to her. Perhaps, you’ve initiated sexual contact by kissing or touching her in a way that’s MORE than friends. And eventually flirting leads into sex! If done correctly, the information in this guide will OFTEN make a girl want to sleep with you, but most of the time, you have to know how to seduce women. In other words, you have to understand how to initiate sexual contact, which goes beyond the scope of this book.

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The good news is I’m feverishly working on a follow-up course to this guide. This will cover ALL aspects of seduction, primarily focusing on how to turn ANY flirty conversation into a sexual encounter. You can receive more details as part of my “members only” email list and also through my blog.

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10 Conclusion

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Learn From Your Experiences I’ve never liked the word “mistakes.” Instead, I like to refer to them as learning experiences. To improve upon anything in life, you have to evaluate your past experiences, and figure out what DID or DIDN’T work. Don’t feel inadequate about any problem areas in your life, because nobody is perfect. Even the best fail, but what separates a successful person from everyone else is simply that they try again. They learn from their mistakes, and fix them. This advice is no less true when it comes to flirting. If you’ve had an unsuccessful encounter with a woman, don’t get backtracked by it. Instead, review what happened to see if you could have changed anything. What would you do the next time? Ask yourself these questions:

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Did I qualify her?

λ

Was I confident?

λ

Why was she different from my other successes

λ

Did I miss any potential roadblocks?

λ

Did I come on too strong, or too weak?

λ

Did I effectively use touch?

λ

Did I show beta male traits?

λ

Did I pick up on her cues?

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λ

Did she feel unique or special?

λ

Was 70 percent of the conversation focused on her?

λ

Did the conversation build the sexual tension?

λ

Did I push too hard for an outcome that wasn’t attainable?

λ

How did I handle my mistakes?

λ

Did I miss any steps in the seduction?

Go back to the respective chapter in this book to review my tips, and try again.

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Calibration During an interaction with a woman, you'll be receiving feedback. If you know your techniques are working, you'll see positive body language from her. On the other hand, if she looks annoyed or like she's not enjoying herself, then you know she is not buying what you're selling. This is where calibration becomes useful. When you're trying different tactics, you must monitor her reactions. Calibration is gauging people's reactions to you and your actions. If you see that what you're doing is not working, you should change tactics.

Calibration is gauging people’s reactions to you and your actions.

There is the possibility of over-calibrating. If you calibrate too much, the conversation will not flow, and you may look awkward. Try to make subtle changes, without losing your confident appearance. There are three possible reactions people can have when you’re calibrating… The first is a positive reaction. If your audience seems genuinely interested in what you’re saying, then everything is going well. This means you should continue what you're doing. The second possibility is a mixed reaction, where you won't be sure if people are in synch with you. When this happens, you should continue with what you're doing, but be extremely cautious and prepared to switch tactics quickly. 280

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Finally, you may encounter a very bad reaction from the people you've met. Perhaps it's something you said, or maybe you're dealing with somebody who is really sensitive. When this happens it's important to immediately stop what you're doing and move to a different tactic. In fact, if the person is sending you really negative feedback, then the best option may be to give up and walk away from the situation. Calibration means knowing when to take a step forward or backwards. For instance, if she's already attracted to you and establishing physical contact, then you shouldn't feel the need to use any more basic attraction techniques. Become a master of your own plan. Know when you should skip ahead and do steps later in the process. This also means that if you're dealing with a person who is uncomfortable, you should know when to go back and continue to work on flirting and attraction. Be very observant. Women are very good at hiding their reactions. While they may be acting polite and participating in the conversation, they may not be demonstrating any signs of true attraction. What you have to remember is that it's not their fault – it's actually yours. Attraction can be built in almost any situation. Remember that you might be doing something wrong in the process, so it's up to you to transform their negative feelings and make them feel positive about you.

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Final Thoughts Flirting is a fun experience that’s enjoyed by both sexes. If you follow the advice in this book, you’ll find that it’s easy to create a flirting situation where she is really interested in you. Successful flirting can be easily achieved when you’re having fun for your own sake. You want to be the fun, energetic guy who is entertaining and passing along good emotions to women. If a woman is laughing and enjoying herself, she won’t be that concerned if you’ve messed up in a couple of other areas. The reason we flirt is that we can’t come out and tell women that we’re interested in having sex. The best way to do it is use innuendos (or humor) to talk about the subject in a way that’s not going to make her feel weird. This makes it easy to introduce the topic without seeming perverted or weird. Talking about sex in a roundabout way is effective because it creates an environment of sexual tension. You’re breaking down her barriers without being overt. Furthermore, you’re implanting the relation of SEX to talking to you. This makes it easier to progress to having sex later on So before I leave you, let me give some parting thoughts about flirting: Always flirt. Even if it’s a little old lady, talk to her in a flirtatious manner. This will help you refine your techniques, and become more comfortable with women. 282

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Don’t isolate flirting from your everyday personality. In order to be truly successful, the two must be joined. This will dramatically skyrocket your success. Don’t get caught up in the “I only approach women when I’m trying to pick them up” mindset. Flirting ALL the time will help you see women as more approachable beings. Of course, you’ll find that the ones you are NOT interested in are easier to talk to than the more attractive ones, but in reality, all women are equal. Finally (and most importantly), you need to learn to respect yourself. As I’ve said before, hitting on women should come second to taking care of yourself. Be a challenge by having passions other than women, and don’t settle for girls who don’t meet your qualifications. Follow the advice you’ve learned in this book, and soon, she’ll be chasing after you. Good luck!

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