Steve P. - The Tao of Seduction

The Tao of Stevie http://pua.zap.to Part 1 - My Philosophy.......................................................................................................3 Correct Frame................................................................................................. .........3 A Good Frame For Approaching .........................................................................3 The Thrill Of The Chase.........................................................................................4 Being A Playboy .......................................................................................................4 What To Integrate / Model ....................................................................................5 Part 2 - Pick Up Techniques.............................................................................................6 Going In ................................................................................................................... 6 Phase Shifting........................................................................................................... 6 Statements Not Questions ......................................................................................7 FMAC ........................................................................................................................7 Social Proof ...............................................................................................................7 Active Participation...................................................................................................8 Getting Advice On Other Chicks...........................................................................9 Registering A Girl.................................................................................................... 9 Part 3 - Stevie's Training .................................................................................................10 Diet And Exercise ..................................................................................................10 Language Game For On The Fly Fluency..........................................................10 Recording..................................................................................................................11 Other Miscellaneous Observations.......................................................................11 Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers..........................................................................12 Tailor Your Approach ............................................................................................12 Using Neos................................................................................................................13 What They Are/Aren't ...........................................................................................13 Benefits Of NEOs ..................................................................................................13 Conveying Personality In NEOs...........................................................................14 Examples ..................................................................................................................14 Analysis .....................................................................................................................15 Fill the Vacuum........................................................................................................17 A Glimpse of Your Adventurous Life..................................................................17 Putting Her At Her Ease.........................................................................................18 Part 5 - Themes....................................................................................................................19 Themes As Bridges...................................................................................................19 Stages 1 – 3.................................................................................................................20 Useful Themes...........................................................................................................21 Training And Round Up .........................................................................................24

Part 6 - Fuck Closing............................................................ .............................................25 Winning State Of Mind ...........................................................................................25 Follow-Up Meetings ................................................................................................26 Characterisitics Of A Good Tonguedown B........................................................27 Building Intimacy .....................................................................................................27 The Body Will Follow..............................................................................................28 One Night Stand Fucking .......................................................................................29 Instant Dates..............................................................................................................33 Debriefing Chicks.......................................................................................................33 ONS Versus Follow-Up Mentality.. .......................................................................34 Part 7 - Approach Mentality................................................................................................34 Approaching Mindset ...............................................................................................34 Getting Talkative .......................................................................................................35 Holistic Approach To PU ........................................................................................36 Example........................................................................................................................37 Sharpened Skills..........................................................................................................38 Congruency .................................................................................................................39 Natural Approach Areas............................................................................................40 Role Models.................................................................................................................41 Part 8 - Seduction In Detail .................. ................ ............................................................42 Theatre Meeting........................................ .................................................................42 Phone Contact ...........................................................................................................44 Meeting Up..................................................................................................................44 Salsa Bar.......................................................................................................................45 Riverside ......................................................................................................................46 Tonguedown Bar........................................................................................................46 Kiss Closing.................................................................................................................47 Kissing Technique......................................................................................................48 Conclusion...................................................................................................................49 Part 9 - Weapons Of Influence ..........................................................................................49 Cialdini Chapter 1 – Weapons Of Influence .........................................................50 Cialdini Chapter 2 – Reciprocation..........................................................................52 Cialdini Chapter 3 – Commitment And Consistency............................................54 Cialdini Chapter 4 - Social Proof..............................................................................56 Cialdini Chapter 5 – Liking .......................................................................................57 Cialdini Chapter 7 – Scarcity......................................................................................62 Cialdini Chapter 8 - Instant Influence.....................................................................63

Part 10 – Recent Learnings……………………………….……………………….65 Current Modus Operandi…………………………...……………………….65 Attraction First……………………………………...………………………65 Distinct Attraction Phase……………………………....……………………66 Beware, Sticking Point………………………………....……………………67 Example Attraction Routines……………………………………………….68 Example 1…………………………………………………………………..68 Example 2 (Halo-Girl Routine)………………….………………………….68 Example 3……………………………………….…………………….……69 Analysis of Example 1…………………………….………………………...69 Analysis of Example 2…………………………….…………………….…..71 Analysis of Example 3…………………………….…………………….…..71 Personalised Busting……………………………….……………………….72 Deep and Light Rapport…………………………….…………………........73 Cocky Verbal Shut Down (CVSD)………………….……………………....74 Dominant Reality…………………………………….……………………..76 Facial Gestures……………………………………….……………….…….77 Evolutionary Aspects………………………………….…………………....78 Not Hiding Agenda…………………………………….…………....……...80 Using A Camera…………………………………………………………....81 Fake Gay…………………………………………………………………...82 Mind-reading…………………………………………………………….....83 Long-Term State Management……………………………………………..83

Introduction I am writing this series of articles to explain my understanding of PU and to help newbies and RAFCs who want to improve their game. It is by no means a complete account of what I do and think, rather a basic account of some of the points I believe are important in my style of PU. As some readers well know already from visiting my home page, my style of meeting chicks is a mixture of SS and Mystery Method. I combine this with an element of my friend "Natural" Mike's style which is being very enthusiastic and talkative. Do I use purely one method? No, I use elements of each method in ways I find useful, much the same as Bruce Lee did when forming his own style of martial art and created Jeet Kune Do. What Bruce did was take parts of other martial arts that he worked most effectively for him and combined them into a new form. In much the same way, I take different techniques I find useful for me for when I want to meet girls, and combine them in ways that work best and give good results for me. I encourage you all to try out techniques and see what works well for you and to use them to develop your own effective style of PUing.

Part 1 - My Philosophy Correct Frame

It is all a fun experiment to me, that's the frame I take. If you simply make it a case of having fun and seeing what happens, you'll be more inclined to try things out and notice how the person responds to your techniques. When I see a girl I like, I don't go in with the idea I must seduce her. This is an important understanding to have. It is a paradox, that if you go in feeling you must get the girl, you'll tend to put too much pressure on yourself and this leads to your screwing things up more. Imagine what it is like to learn the piano or another instrument. When you are alone or with a couple of friends you can play well because you are relaxed and it is not too serious, it doesn't matter much if you play it really well. But on the day of the big performance when there is a big, expecting audience, a person is much more likely to freeze because he is far more attached to the meaning and outcome of his performance. So, I encourage you to see doing approaches just as practice. Any pay-offs that come your way with your practice are just signs that your practice is paying off, you've earned them. Oh, and practice makes perfect if you are willing to learn, adapt, experiment and listen to advice objectively. A Good Frame For Approaching

If you make it a case of your simply either getting what you want, or you won't , then it is no big deal what happens. You learn something every time about what works and what doesn't. so that next time you approach you will be more experienced. The truth is, unless you are noticing things are not working out sometimes, you cannot be The Tao of Stevie Introduction

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progressing or taking much action at all. Even the best PUAs have their share of "failures", but it is never a failure if you always congratulate yourself for having the balls to go in and give it a shot. If you give it a shot you will be ahead of 90% of those AFC wall-flowers you see standing around whispering to their AFC friends about some girl they like in the corner and who never approach. Just by trying, you are differentiating yourself and making sure you are stepping up to the batting plate. If you don't step up and have a go, you can't be playing in the big league and if you are not playing, you can't win. If you make part of your getting what you want when you do approaches, the idea that you want to simply approach, get feedback, have fun and learn how people respond, then you will always get what you want. I love Mystery's idea of it being a holodeck. These people around you are not real, they are just there for your amusement and practice. I find this a useful way to think of things. The Thrill Of The Chase

Sometimes, when I know I can fuck a girl I lose interest in her. For me, the most exciting part of the game is the thrill of the chase. I love the excitement of seducing her, of getting inside her head, finding out what makes her tick, and getting to know her intimately. For me, the fucking is just the icing on the cake. Sure, I love sex as much as the next red-blooded male and I usually take it whenever possible. What I mean here really is that the sex is more a confirmation that I have won the game, rather than an end in itself. Playing the game, enjoying the thrill, and winning the chick are the real things I want; sex is just my medal in recognition that I have won her mind, body or heart. Being A Playboy

For some time after studying PU and seduction I continued to make a mistake. It was a form of supplication that I had not identified but was there nevertheless. It took a scary incident with a chick to highlight it and to allow me to deal with it finally. My problem was I was hiding my PUA lifestyle from the girls I was going out with. Though I was seeing multiple females at the same time, I was scared that if they found out about each other that they'd walk away and I'd lose out. I was operating from a frame of scarcity still. It took an incident with HB Britney (who looked a little like Britney Spears) for me to force myself to recognise and correct this behaviour of mine. I had seduced and laid HB Britney, who had asked me a few times if I was looking for a relationship with her. I hesitated and avoided telling her that I see lots of girls and that I am not ready to settle down with one girl into monogamy at this time in my life. I didn't lie outright to her, but I avoided telling her the truth that no, I didn't want a long-term relationship with her. When it came to me nexting her because of her unreasonable behaviour, she became obsessed with me. She thought she could The Tao of Stevie Part 1 - My Philosophy

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win me back and that I was still into having her as a long-term girlfriend. She started stalking me and phoning me 24/7. If I had told her from the beginning that I am not ready for commitment, and that I see other chicks, and that I will only settle down when I choose, then I could have avoided all this bullshit. I'd have told her she can either get used to my rules or take a walk. My fear was that if I had told girls that I am a playboy and see other chicks, that I'd lose the chick. I have now corrected this attitude and my new way of thinking now works like a charm. I don't hide the fact that I see other chicks, I feature it. I am cocky and funny about going out with other girls and I jokingly tell the girl "I am a playboy, ha ha." This has helped me create mystery, adventure and intrigue to the girl. It shows you are not needy and she is not your only option. It creates that "bad boy" image that lots of chicks like. It also shows you have worth to other chicks. I don't make a big deal of it, but I don't hide it anymore. I don't reveal all the horny details of being with the other chicks, I keep it vague and laugh about it with her. I make sure to say "I never kiss and tell" and don't reveal the names of the other chicks I go out with. By doing this you are also implying that whatever you do with the current chick will remain between you and her. It shows you can be trusted not to reveal your intimacies. Now some of my chicks call me "playboy" and laugh about it with me. They say I am a "bad boy" and then kiss me. They seem to like it. I am not operating from scarcity now and they know it. What To Integrate / Model

Part of being able to choose what to take and integrate into your style is the ability to recognise the worth of what someone says or does. There are thousands of posts on ASF, some more useful than others. How do you decide which to use and which to ignore if you are a newbie? I think most readers here have their favourite posters, where if you see a post by this person on screen, you'll think "I'll check that out". Part of the reason you develop favourite posters is that you can identify where they are coming from, that what they say is relevant to you, and what they say seems to agree with how you see the world. I find these are the people whose style matches my own, and I take special interest to make sure I really think through what they say, to try out some of their advice in the real world, and to reply to them if I have something constructive to contribute. My only warning here is to make sure the person has a reasonable track record of posting and is not a "one hit wonder." I consciously try to model people whom I find helpful to me in achieving my aims. I encourage you to pick a handful of people in your life who you find motivating, empowering, and inspirational, and to model their beliefs and frame of mind. Also, I try to keep an open mind and to be willing to consider thinking "outside the box" on a subject at times.

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Part 2 - Pick Up Techniques In general I work on the basis of making contact with either a lone chick or a chick as part of a group. I go in and get their attention using humour or a Neutral Entertaining Opener that marks me out from the norm. I entertain them, get them curious, build rapport, elicit Indications of Interest, then isolate and close, or just close if I can't isolate right then. I used routines and patterns, as well as other techniques you will read about below. Going In

When I see a girl who is a potential target I presuppose friendship. I find this useful because if you presuppose friendship you usually get it. Also, it fries the girls circuits sometimes if she is not expecting it and makes them more suggestible at times. I talk to people all the time, telling them things about my life- not long episodes initially, just little snippets to test for friendliness and to open things up. In the supermarket yesterday I told a girl I am cooking Chinese food tonight, because it is my favourite and I promised to cook for my cousin since I have been teaching Chinese students recently and have had loads of good meals. I suppose I am using Neutral Entertaining Openers a lot of the time. If you genuinely have an interest in entertaining the other person you will be congruent and this will come through in your communication. A lot of people spout material they don't believe in and because they are incongruent, the material doesn't come across well. I make sure to feel some genuine amusement and enthusiasm about what I am talking about and this helps make what I am saying seem congruent to the chick. Another important part of my style is it seems like I don't care if she is that interested in me too much. I convey value, but in a way like I am not needy. I come across as having a great life and just happen to be sharing part of it with her spontaneously. She can decide to be part of it, or find out more about this adventure that is my life, or not. But I am going to be having a blast and she can either come along for the ride (!) or miss out. I pretend I am in my own head remembering exciting times as I recount an amusing episode to her. I pretend I am not paying much concern over what she thinks about what I am saying. Really though, I am paying tons of attention to her conscious and unconscious responses. I use these responses to figure out where she is now and how to get her to where I want her to go. Phase Shifting

I begin by opening her and creating intrigue or curiosity. I then build rapport by fluffing a little to show I am a normal guy. I use C&F a little, I might tease her. I fractionate between telling entertaining stories and episodes, and using humour and teasing. As I get her feeling comfortable and she is starting to display signs that she recognises my worth, I will throw in seductive eye contact. I send twin messages The Tao of Stevie Part 2 - Pick Up Techniques

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Gunwitch Style. On the one hand I am entertaining her and being playful, she is relaxed around me. On the other hand I start displaying sexual signs (in a nonthreatening, vague way) through my longer eye-contact, looking sideways at her, and my Mona Lisa smile. At this point I'll usually throw in some SS languaging to build intrigue or connection and then some covert sexual accelerators. I make sure to anchor her strong positive responses whenever I can. I will usually anchor using a special sideways look I give, or using a touch and "can you feel that?" anchor. KINO

Regarding kino, I make sure I kino early on and increase its intensity as I see things progressing well. Kino is a powerful technique. I start by touching the upper arm and increase it until I am playing with her hair, holding her hand - firstly for a short time, then for long periods. I usually end by rubbing her back, giving a massage, nibbling her neck or ear, smelling her hair, kissing on the forehead, cheek and then lips. Statements Not Questions

Initially, when I am attracting a girl I don't give her a lot of questions. If you start asking a chick about herself before establishing in her mind that you are a cool guy and that you are safe to talk with, you run the risk of her putting you in that "here's another guy on the make," part of her mind. Your aim is to differentiate yourself from the AFC crowd, so before asking questions I generally entertain her using statements and stories to put her at her ease. If she gives Indications of Interest, and asking questions to you can sometimes be an IOI, then I'll phase shift and cut back on the entertaining, and go into rapport building, creating a connection, and closing. Once I get her IOIs I will be more likely to ask her personal questions. FMAC

I follow Mystery's Find, Meet, Attract, Close formula generally. I see a chick, use the 3 Seconds Rule, go in, entertain, fluff, build rapport, elicit IOIs, amp things up and close. Not always exactly in that order, but usually pretty close to it. A few times I have got the lay on the same night as I first met the chick. More usual though is two or three meetings. Anything beyond that I don't bother with unless I have LJBFed her in order to practise techniques on her and to get social proof from her. Social Proof

Social proof is another technique to use. It has got me laid a number of times and helped me tongue-down chicks many more. The good thing about social proof is that it combines well with other techniques I use, such as getting talkative and warming up. I always make sure now to warm up whenever I go out to play the game. I talk with people left, right, and centre. I have brief conversations with people on the bus, in shops, on the street, in bars. This goes well with social proof because if chicks see The Tao of Stevie Part 2 - Pick Up Techniques

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people are talking with you, smiling, laughing, and enjoying your company, they realise there is something different and special about you. It helps her recognise your worth, and helps you to display it. In fact, sometimes when I am just warming up and getting talkative I get chicks coming onto me who weren't even targets. A few nights ago I was warming up on an Irish guy and a girl he was with, and she ended up kissing me in front of him. I wasn't even trying to seduce her, I was just getting into a useful state for later on. Active Participation

When possible, I try to get the girl to actively participate in the seduction, rather than it just being me doing all the work. If a girl is investing energy and time on you on any level, her unconscious will start to think of you differently from the other guys who she feels neutral about. By having her actively involved you are entering into her world. That is a good thing because you are making your interaction more personal and intimate. Ways to do this can be getting her to hold something for you, getting her to do you a small favour, trying on clothes for you in a shop etc. A recent example of this was in a shoe shop sarge that I did. I asked this girl Clara to move so I could get closer to the shoes I was looking at. I engaged her in conversation about shoes, about which ones were in the sale, then picked up a shoe and handed it to her saying "Hold this for me a second, will you?" She took it and I had her caught. I could now sarge her more effectively because, firstly she couldn't walk away with my shoe, and secondly because as Cialdini points out, once a person accepts doing a small favour for you, she is more likely to carry out a bigger favour for you. After handing this chick multiple shoes to hold for me as I patterned her, I told her to come to the quiet area at the back of the shop to check out the necklace I'd bought. She came back and I started holding her and kinoing her very sexually. Get the chick to do small favours for you, then gradually increase your demands once you see she's willing to carry out your little suggestions. This is sometimes known as the "foot in the door" principle. Or, alternatively there is the contrast principle where you play it C&F or use GM style to start out with going for a big demand that you know she is unlikely to agree to, then suggesting some smaller, more reasonable thing for her to go for. The smaller suggestion will seem more reasonable after it following the outrageous demand and therefore easier for her to accept in comparison. An example to illustrate this is telling her to French kiss you. When she refuses, you suggest just a kiss on the cheek. You'll more likely get the cheek kiss which then becomes your "foot in the door" for more demanding requests. See how these techniques tie in?

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Getting Advice On Other Chicks

Something I've seen my wing "Natural" Mike do a lot and successfully increase rapport enough to kiss girls with is to get advice on his romantic problems he's been having with another girl he's seeing. He'll come across as all concerned about this other chick's behaviour and how to deal with it, and then he'll ask his target what she thinks he should do to get the girl. This seems to build rapport with his target and shows her that he is in demand from other girls. Oftentimes the target will share her experiences of her past relationships and how she dealt with them. This sets up the chick to thinking and talking about relationships (and chicks love that shit!) and it allows reciprocation to come into play by each of you sharing personal events that are important to you. Just to make sure he's still a challenge, Mike will sometimes fractionate into C&F and tell the chick her advice will never work and he doesn't believe her. This often leads to his target qualifying herself to him. Takeaways

I do use takeaways at times but less so now than I used to because I need to learn how to do them better I need to remember to only do them as a neg hit or if the girl is providing resistance. For a takeaway to be effective you need to have established your worth to her first, and then when you do the takeaway she realises she doesn't really want to lose what she has, and gets with the program you want her on. I did a nice takeaway in Dublin several years ago when I entertained a chick (who I think was into my looks initially) and then walked away and stood a few feet away and ignored her. The effect of this was he saw I wasn't needy and was very different to most AFCs she usually encountered. She invited me to her place. You do need to be careful using takeaways though because if you haven't won her over she won't care if you walk. Use sparingly, but these are strong techniques to play mid-games on her if you use them properly. Registering A Girl

I wrote a post quite recently about the usefulness of registering a girl. By registering I mean that when you talk to people left, right, and centre in your daily life, you can create a number of contacts and acquaintances which can be turned into something more if you play your cards right. I'll chat non-sexually with a chick in a casual conversation and get on speaking terms with her and let her know I am a good guy to chat with. This can then be used at a future time if you happen to come across her in a different situation, for example when she is outside of work and easier to talk with. This techniques combines well with getting talkative and chatty. You can easily reengage with her and phase shift into sexual attraction if you have already registered her, maybe got her name and found out something about her that you can use in this later conversation.

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Part 3 - Stevie's Training I use a number of methods. I write out routines and patterns onto cards and rehearse them out loud. I learn them by heart. I don't necessarily parrot these learned phrases word for word when I am in the field, rather, I use the overall theme and parts of the words. Usually the exact words are not important. More important is being aware and controlling your state, being aware of the other person's state, and selecting and using the right technique with the right energy and timing. Diet And Exercise

I eat well and exercise regularly. I have noticed that since I cut out junk food completely from my diet last spring that my appearance and ability to attract has increased. Read "Fast Food Nation," by Eric Schlosser and you'll reconsider your diet pretty fast. I have cut out burgers and sugary fizzy drinks completely. I cook for myself a lot more so I can be sure of eating food that is low fat and fresh. Journal

I keep a seduction journal to help review what I did and how to improve next time. Make sure to record as accurately as possible what you said to her and how she reacted. Keep details of what you wore, what routines or patterns you used and any trancewords or themes she enjoyed. Write anything down that seems possibly useful for the future. Language Game For On The Fly Fluency

I play a practice game to test myself on my ability to do patterns and themes on the fly. I use a series of small cards which works like this : 4 categories labelled as follows 1. Fluff 2. Themes 3. Patterns 4. Chance The aim is to talk out loud and go in sequence from 1-3 and to throw in the "Chance" category at any point in the sequence. Your goal is to practise opening, conveying personality, establishing yourself, building attraction, then closing using your language. Examples of what might be on these cards might be: 1. Fluff - going to the cinema, shopping, listening to music, dancing, the weather, holidays, driving, travelling, meeting an old friend, asking for directions 2. Themes - excitement, intrigue, curiosity, arousal, connection, deep interest. The Tao of Stevie Part 3 - Stevie's Training

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3. Patterns - Incredible connection, ideal man, BJ, time distortion, double bind, discovery channel, number close. 4. Chance - the cube, palm reading animal questions, lying game, strawberry fields, statement of intent, mind-reading. You try to transition seamlessly through the topics, so you might shuffle a random sequence of 1. Watching a movie, 2. Fascination, 3. Ideal man, 4 Number close. You could talk about how when you go to see a movie you really like you lose track of time because you lose yourself in fascination, and how people have favourite actors and how I was asking my friend Debbie about her favourite actor and the qualities he has, and how when you think of the qualities the ideal man you'd like to meet... and notice that in someone .... Etc etc. Recording

Record yourself and listen to how you sound so you can improve your transitioning, fluency, and tonality. Speak your routines and patterns into your recorder and think of ways to make them sound even more natural and effective. If you record your sarges, as I do sometimes, you learn a hell of a lot about what you can do to improve. You notice alternatives to what you did that you can try out next time. Do it. See my web site for a photo of my digital recorder. Other Miscellaneous Observations

I listen to tapes when I walk or drive around. I have the Unstoppable Confidence Tapes, the BHSC, tapes of Milton Erickson, Bandler, Major Mark. I emerge myself in learning about seduction and effective communication. I read a lot of these authors too, as well as about sexual evolution e.g Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene" and Miller, "The Mating Mind." I love reading Mystery's and Tyler Durden's stuff on ASF. I meet up with guys in the real world who have similar interests. I go out with my digital recorder and try techniques out, then post about what worked well and what didn't work. I avoid watching AFC TV shows and movies. I avoid listening to AFC music. I have developed a supplication warning system and make sure to steer away from AFC experiences and supplication whenever possible. This includes hanging out with people who are negative thinkers. I make my life adventurous. I travel a lot, I learn languages so I can meet chicks from other countries more easily. Talking to a chick in her own language when she is not expecting it can quickly differentiate you from the crowd around you. Countless times I have successfully sarged Swedish backpackers who were on holiday in other countries and were amazed to meet an English guy who could speak their language. Learning a few key phrases in a lot of languages can definitely work in your favour to The Tao of Stevie Part 3 - Stevie's Training

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do openers. Also I find opening in a foreign language even easier than in my native English, it seems more like a game. Kind of like playing with Monopoly money rather than spending real cash. Interesting that.

Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers Tailor Your Approach

In this section I want to talk about how I use Neutral Entertaining Openers (NEOs) in my style of PU. They've become an important part of what I do and I like them because they fit my style well. As I said in my earlier Tao of Stevie posts, I combine techniques whenever I can, and make sure to adapt the techniques to fit the situation I find myself in whenever possible. Canned routines/patterns/ways of operating are fine as something to fall back on, to pull out of the bag when nothing else springs to mind, or as a foundation on which to learn to develop your own intuitions about what works well for you. Canned openers I do still use and find useful at times. However I find that when I can tailor my approach/techniques to meet the needs of the actual current situation at hand, then my effectiveness usually increases. Think of it being a little similar to when you apply for a job and you send in your resume/CV. You may have a generic resume of yourself which you can forward to any particular employer you wish to apply to. It contains basic information about who you are and where you have worked. However, your chances of getting a particular job increase if you tailor your resume to fit the demands of the job description. If, on your tailored resume you make sure to highlight the skills you have, your qualifications, and your previous job experience which directly relate to the job you wish to apply for, then you have a much better chance of getting that job. Your application/approach has become more effective because it meets the needs of the situation. Applying this to the area of PU means you need to be able to calibrate well what the needs of the situation are and be able to tailor your approach in such a way as to increase its effectiveness. You do this by judging a target's current frame of mind (A), deciding where you want her to be (B) and tailoring your approach such that you move her most effectively from A to B. For newbies, I understand and accept this is easier said than done, but nevertheless this is the best way of doing it. Developing your calibration, rapport-building, and general PU skills in the field through simply talking to lots of people and making them feel good repeatedly is one of the best ways to practise. You don't even have to go for the PU all the time, guys. Just practise trying to guess/intuit what state the other person is in and try moving them to a different state through your conversation, your story-telling and sharing your energy. If you can learn to regularly leave people feeling great after an interaction with you, then you are half way there. Read Maniac High's account of DJ Pimp on pickupguide.com for some inspiration. The Tao of Stevie Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers

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Using Neos What They Are/Aren't

Now on to Neutral Entertaining Openers more specifically. What do we mean by a NEO? A NEO is an opener which takes the form of an anecdote, an observation an interesting fact, a story, an aside etc. which achieves at least one of the following - it entertains, surprises, builds curiosity, fires the target's imagination, allows rapport to begin, puts the person at their ease, provokes a useful response, tests if she is open to discussing interesting ideas and so on. It is NOT a come-on, obvious PU line, anything typical she expects to hear from guys or has heard before from them, nor is it overly personal about her. A NEO is something you say to the girl to first test if she is someone bright/interesting enough to engage in conversation and allow you to start a discussion or interaction with her that will allow you to seduce her. Benefits Of NEOs

There are considerable benefits to the PUA in using NEOs. If she is expecting to be hit on by guys, your NEO breaks down that expectation and puts her mind's evaluation of you on hold. She can't fit you into that frame she normally puts guys who she thinks are coming on to her because she can't tell if you are one of those guys or not. She doesn't know if you are hitting on her or if you are just a friendly guy who talks to people all the time (she is unlikely to realise that you are, in fact, BOTH of these things. They are not mutually exclusive!) I've said before that if you presuppose friendship you'll usually get it (and if you don't get it just move on - they are showing you very quickly and efficiently they are not nice people - so saving you investing time, money and energy on that person who doesn't deserve it. They are really doing you a favour by being cold to you. Thanks! Next!) Most of the time, if you are pleasant the person will be at least well-mannered enough to be pleasant in return. That is how our Western society operates - people respond to social norms most of the time and it is only when someone behaves outside of these social norms that we notice the abnormal behaviour. You might think to yourself once a day, or a few times a week "He/she was a bit rude". We notice these non-polite incidents because they stand out from the multitude of interactions we have every day, week, or month where the people around us behave politely, as expected. So, the point here is if you open with a NEO you will most likely be listened to and she'll play along because she can't tell what your intentions are. These guys who say females have superhuman sensory detection devices which can sniff out your intent from the start should go get a ouija board and talk to some of Ted Bundy's victims. The Tao of Stevie Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers

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The next aspect of the benefits of using NEOs is very important in regards to PU. NEOs are great ways to convey personality and to put other people at their ease. Let's look at the conveying personality part first. Conveying Personality In NEOs

Through telling your NEO in the form of a brief story/happening/observance of yours you can begin to show value to the girl. You can show humour, wit, selfconfidence, and that you have an interesting and exceptional life. When I do NEOs on a girl I am very enthusiastic in the way I talk, I smile a lot (sometimes seemingly to myself, never to impress her) I am humorous, but I make it seem like I don't care if she is interested too much. It's more that I have this funfilled, exceptional life full of adventure and good times, and I just HAPPEN to be sharing stories about it spontaneously with her. I might even talk about someone else's life or some recent event and offer a thought I had about it that gets her imagining funny or pleasant ideas connected with it. I think a few concrete examples will help to show what I mean. By the way, I use quotes a lot to make it seem like I am reporting conversations I had with other people, when, in fact, I am just quoting the story to effect the girl's state, to gain an entry into her experience of the world, and to begin to move her mentally to places I want her to go which will allow me to bring in other seduction techniques. Examples

Some examples of NEOs followed by a description/analysis of what I am doing. These are all actual openers I have used a lot in real life and found open well. 1. (in a bar which had flashing screens where the customer presses a button to randomly stop the light next to the price of a drink when they pay) "Hey, I was just saying to my friend Steve (wing next to me) that you know those screens there where you have to press the button? Well have you noticed that they flash much faster and more often in the middle where the most expensive prices are ... haha. ... and see at the edges where the free drinks are it hardly lights up ... isn't that cheating? Haha .. and we were sitting here trying to figure out when is the exact right time to press the button to get a free drink. Can you imagine how much fun you could have if you could figure out a way to beat the system and get free drinks all night?....." 2. (At a supermarket checkout paying for Chinese food ingredients) "Hi ... I'm cooking Chinese tonight (SMILE) ... I really like it ... I think it's my favourite food, and since I started teaching Chinese students I've really The Tao of Stevie Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers

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got into it a lot more. I mean, I always liked it, but you know when you have real Chinese food cooked by real Chinese people, it is so much better than the stuff you normally eat, the stuff you cook yourself .... And I said to my students the other day that most English people have no idea what China is really like, I mean can you imagine going to a country where the people are totally different to what you are used to? It would be a bit weird but I think it would also be really exciting to see a totally different place ...." 3. (On the street pretending to be lost) "Hey, do you know where the post office is, because (SMILE) I promised I'd send my friends a postcard from Poland/(wherever you are) when I got here, but you know when you first arrive in a new place and you look around (gesturing to look around) and it's all so new and you have no idea where anything is ... haha ... I mean, to the locals it's easy to find their way around and I bet they couldn't get lost if they tried, but to someone like me, you have to ask for help and hope someone will take pity on you and show you to where you want to go." Analysis Example 1

I start with quotes here to make it seem like I am just casually repeating something interesting I'd said to my friend. This helps establish the overall frame of the interaction - that I am not hitting on her or needy. I am not asking her for anything, instead I am just sharing an interesting fact or discussion. Using quotes is also good because it is considered rude in society to interrupt someone while they are telling a story about another person. I mention the screens in the bar which she can see, in order to make our initial interaction relevant to her ongoing reality. I am talking about something she can relate to in her current experience. By pacing her ongoing reality I am showing we are sharing some of the same life experience, this helps rapport. I mention how the screens operate (a true observation she probably hadn't noticed herself) - again pacing reality and starting to show her I am observant and bright. I then bring in humour by having her imagine what it would be like to cheat the system. I am inviting her to share a fun fantasy with me. This helps build rapport and encourages her to associate fun with me in her neurology. Note I don't ask her for anything but I do make it easy for her to respond in a fun continuation of our conversation. I make it easy for the opener to evolve into something more by taking over her reality (or putting it on hold), and using that "lever" or inroad to move her into a fun fantasy - in this case beating the system and The Tao of Stevie Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers

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getting free drinks. It also sets up a "conspiratorial" mindset of me and her being on the same side together. Example 2

Here, again we use something in the target's reality to create a bridge between the PUA and the girl. The thing to do here is to start out less intrusively and then to gradually make the interaction more personal/intrusive once you have rapport and/or IOIs. I talk about the ingredients I am buying as a VEHICLE to open a window on my life. I talk about myself and other people rather than about her initially. This makes it easier for her to go along with what I'm saying - it isn't about her so there is little point in her wasting energy resisting it. By the time I have finished the NEO and displayed personality that "foot in the door" will have pushed the door open wider because during the NEO and the techniques which can follow it, are vehicles to display traits she's likely to find interesting or appealing. I use a neutral topic to branch off into a more interesting one using themes - Chinese food - Chinese students - quotes - cultural differences - from here you can go in a lot of new directions (!) such as discussing holidays you've had, which places you both would love to see etc. I am also aligning the two of us together on the same side as being two people with similar backgrounds (ie both Westerners) and having her consider being in a foreign place. This can create an aspect of "togetherness" subconsciously. I also use universal experiences she can agree with in order to help build rapport and pace her reality - I talk about real Chinese food cooked by Chinese people being better than the Chinese food English people try to cook. This is a truism she can easily accept. I also say that most English people don't know what China is really like - another truism she can accept. Pace, pace, lead. Notice the use of qualifiers - "usually", "normally", "most" etc. so as to make what I am saying easier to accept. Qualifiers give the persuader a "get-out" clause if she disagrees. I mean you didn't say what you said was ALWAYS the case, just that it happens "sometimes", "perhaps", "often", "maybe" , or "at times". Example 3

Here I use a question as an opener and don't really expect her to answer right away. I said earlier, don't ask direct questions too early on. If you go right in with direct questions you run the risk of her putting you into that "another guy on the make" part of her mind because asking questions right from the get go is what a lot of AFCs do in their feeble attempts to open her. They say things like "Do you come here often?", "What's your name?" etc. Avoid asking personally direct questions until you see she has noticed your value and you have built rapport. Here I open with a question but don't let her answer right away. Instead, I go straight into my story which is my VEHICLE to display personality and create interest in her. I use the current situation (being lost) to launch into a story and I make sure the story The Tao of Stevie Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers

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and opening question are linked smoothly. Once the link is established between the opening question (where is the post office) and the story (the experience one has of being lost) you can branch off into other areas and it's reasonable for her to follow along with you in a mentally receptive state. In this NEO I again use universal experiences to pace her experience of what it's like to be lost. I bring in a small idea of "mental" social proof here (and in the other 2 examples) by mentioning having promised to send postcards to my friends. I am showing here that I am a normal guy who is popular (I have friends) and that I can keep my promise to people - a good trait to have in a person. In the other examples I use this "mental" social proof - I give reference to "my students" in Example 2, and to "my friend Steve" in example 1. I use humour, saying the locals couldn't get lost if they tried, then link the suggestion she can take pity on me with showing me exactly where I want to go. This allows us to walk the streets together and gives the PUA more time to run further techniques now that he has opened. Fill the Vacuum

While doing NEOs it is important that you keep talking. Don't stop talking if she gives you a blank look. This happens because you have broken her frame of what she expected. If she is not used to talking with people in such situations she'll trance out briefly while she tries to figure out how to respond. You have broken her model of what is expected. This is ideal for you because as you show her your personality, wit, humour, and that you are at ease talking with people, she'll recognise these as qualities she enjoys and is familiar dealing with. After all, she has dealt with people she likes who have displayed these qualities she likes before in her life. So she slots you into that familiar frame of operating in her mind. She'll laugh or smile because those behaviours are familiar to her. You created a vacuum in her mind where she didn't know quite how to react and she'll instinctively reach for those behaviours you allow her to quickly bring out because she'll want a familiar frame to put on your interaction so she knows how to react. You set her up to react to your interesting story favourably by ploughing ahead even as she trances out, so she'll emerge from the brief trance in the frame of mind YOU have led her into. A Glimpse of Your Adventurous Life

It is important to smile well and naturally too. I often convey a sense of slight amazement at what can happen in the world as I tell my NEO - an undercurrent runs beneath my communication during the NEO of me saying "isn't this fascinating/funny/weird in an entertaining way?" I sometimes use self-depreciating humour too in order to show I can laugh at my own folly A person who can goodnaturedly laugh at themselves shows self-confidence in a way that an uptight, neurotic person never could. The Tao of Stevie Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers

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Giving the girl an apparently spontaneous snippet or glimpse of your fascinating life and allowing some of your best qualities to shine through as you do your communicating is an effective way to display value and personality. Don't brag or show off. Make it more subtle by letting her divine the qualities you are conveying herself. Let them shine through in your unconscious communication or implied in your conversation such as my ability to keep a promise in Example 3 above. This ties in with Major Mark Cunningham's description of the qualities of the Romantic Hero. You have an interesting life, you meet the girl as you go through your fun-filled life, and she gets a glimpse of the quality you have. She recognises your worth and the hero becomes pursued. Allowing the girl a glimpse of your life makes you seem human. The good thing about showing a little humanity, especially when you use C&F techniques later on is she knows that there is a "real" you hiding under that C&F exterior and she may work to bring it out if she knows it is there. You are a challenge for her in a good way. A lot of guys have experienced flaking from girls who seemed extremely interested and turned on through having used C&F techniques on her. The reason for this last minute flaking is probably sometimes due to lack of rapport during the seduction. If you make sure some of your real life comes through in conjunction with C&F, you can build rapport and decrease the likelihood of flaking. Putting Her At Her Ease

This means making her feel comfortable enough that she will respond well to you. Responding well to you might mean she is mentally open to accepting your further techniques, or it might mean she is verbally replying to you. Either way, she is in a state of feeling that it is ok to have the interaction with you. This means building rapport early on and allowing her to relax. You can do this using NEOs. A great benefit with using NEOs is you are not asking anything from her initially. She doesn't feel bound to doing anything for you. It is not about her (initially). Later on when she is comfortable and sees your worth and/or gives IOIs then it is about you and her, but initially your NEO is just entertaining her and getting her used to being with a guy who is entertaining. When you first open her she has no idea who you are. She doesn't know if you are a nut case or a wonderful speaker. Just by talking with her in a non-threatening way about something that is fun and entertaining allows her to relax and respond. Unconsciously she is thinking "this guy is ok, not a threat". You build on that way of thinking gradually and quickly so she is unconsciously thinking "this guy is ok" - "this guy is fun" - "this guy is interesting" - "I am enjoying this interaction." Etc. Quickly, you have established yourself by starting out very innocuously and softly, which she can easily accept, to gradually upping the personal relationship between you incrementally, but always upping it in a way she can accept, never taking too large steps early on as this might break rapport. The Tao of Stevie Part 4 - Neutral Entertaining Openers

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Once you have rapport, established yourself and she sees your value then you can throw in all the other techniques at your disposal. Now go try these techniques out!!!!

Part 5 - Themes The subject of this study will be the use of themes. A lot of guys learning PU ask the question, “What should I say to her?” Sure, there are lines you can use and rehearse, but the problem with rehearsed lines is sooner or later you will run out of them and have to converse on the fly. Therefore, I am sure you will appreciate the value of using themes instead of rehearsed word-for-word openers, or patterns. When you know your themes well you can quickly pull them out of the hat and you don’t have to worry what specific words you use, because that is not the point of your conversation. The point is you are bringing up a theme to talk about. By having a framework to build your words upon, you don’t need to learn actual word-for-word patterns, instead you can use your own natural vocabulary to bring up and talk about the theme you have practiced. Having a selection of themes ready at hand can help you sound more natural in your interactions than if you are repeating a script someone else wrote. You sound more natural, because even though I might suggest to you a collection of themes and subjects to talk about, when it comes to the actual speaking you will use your own vocabulary and way of speaking that fits in best with your style of communicating. Of course if you are a poor communicator, learning other people’s scripts might help you improve your communication because it is different to the way you usually communicate. But really I am aiming the Tao Part 5 towards people who are already reasonable communicators and who may benefit from thinking about the usefulness of using themes effectively in their PU style. Themes As Bridges

What do I mean by a theme? Well, I use a theme as a bridge between opening and attracting. A theme could be a story, a reminiscence, or an aside that allows you to flow naturally from your opening fluff/Neutral Entertaining Opener (NEO) to your arousal or attraction stage. Say you go in and open a girl. You use a NEO or other intro to begin the interaction and begin to establish yourself, put her at her ease and build rapport. (This is described in The Tao of Stevie Part 4). Maybe you are not hitting on her in an obvious or typical way, maybe you are being more upfront using Cocky and Funny techniques, or perhaps you are qualifying her. In the case of you being indirect and getting to the point where she is comfortable and seems interested, there comes a time where you move onto Stage 2 of your PU where you begin to throw in more techniques to set up the attraction phase. I will show you how to do that covertly later. Or, in the case of being C&F there will typically come a point after you have busted her for a while and she is seeing your value when the girl starts giving IOIs The Tao of Stevie Part 5 - Themes

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and asks personal questions such as where you are from or what your name is. What is needed in these situations is a phase shift of sorts. In the case of the NEO you shift away from the generally entertaining topic into a more useful topic for seduction. In the case of the C&F you shift towards more rapport building and showing her there is a softer side to you after all. Stages 1 – 3

Think of these stages I mentioned above, and how they interact. Let’s identify them more clearly and number them for ease of discussion. Stage One – This could be your opener, NEO, or fluff. You use this to get the girl’s attention, break her state and get her thinking about what you are saying. You start to display personality to her and maybe entertain her with your stories or observations which she finds interesting and funny. All well and good, she is feeling relaxed and is going to associate pleasant feelings to being with you. If you end things here she is likely to think “what a nice guy”, and you might or might not get her thinking she wants to get physical with you. In order to have her starting to think about you in a more intimate way you can move into the next stage. Stage Two – This is the themes stage. Your theme is a bridge between your opener and your arousal/attraction stage. To be effective and to disarm resistance your theme should be ambiguous. By this I mean it should be something that can cross-over from Stage One to Stage 3. It can be interpreted as a way of moving her from a less personal interaction (Stage 1) to a mildly personal intimacy (Stage 2) to an intense personal intimacy (Stage 3). If we talk about the theme of excitement you will agree that there are different types of excitement. There is the excitement of packing your bags for a trip with some you have looked forward to going away with. There is the excitement of knowing someone you find attractive likes you in return. There is the excitement of knowing you are about to get laid with someone you want. So, the theme of excitement is an example of something ambiguous that you can use to bridge naturally between Stages 1 and 3. Stage Three – This is the attraction/arousal stage. Here you start to throw in sexual arousal patterns, use sexual metaphor, embedded commands to have her thinking about physical sensations, or have her picturing doing exciting things with you. If you jump right from Stage 1 to Stage 3 you run the risk of breaking rapport with the girl, unless she is highly sexual. The fact is with most girls you need to move gently and smoothly towards your desired goal. If you transition naturally from your opener to a bridging theme that seems related, to a seemingly related arousal technique, you have a much better chance of her accepting the movement and direction you are gently pushing her in. Through using these techniques you are directing how she thinks and feels in a way that moves her from feeling interested, to The Tao of Stevie Part 5 - Themes

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being fascinated, to being connected with you, to being aroused with you. (This is an example of how you would often move her). You use the foot in the door principle of having her accept something small from you, get her nibbling, get her hooked, then reel that fish in. She accepts something easy to accept (your fluff opener), then she gets a taste of your personality, she starts to get really into your theme and before she knows it she is swallowing your heavy arousal pattern (and more if it is the BJ Pattern!). You make them easier for her to swallow by running your Stages naturally into each other; they join seamlessly together if you do them well. Useful Themes

Here are some of the themes I find useful to follow up an opener. These are states you will be bringing up so she can begin to experience/relive some of them. Curiosity, intrigue, excitement, fascination, wonder, connection, losing track of time, recognising something special, satisfaction, fulfilment, longing, satisfying a longing, amazement, letting go, the urge to really do something etc Think of more of your own that you would find easy to incorporate into your style of conversation. They should be themes which can bridge the span of your opener to you arousal/attraction technique. Keep them vague enough so that they can apply to almost any situation. This is an important part of themes. They should be very adaptable and flexible. If they are vague and general enough you can shape them to fit almost any situation that you might bring up in your opener. Also keep your themes close to universal experiences, things everyone experiences/has experiences in their life so she can both agree and recognise what you are saying is true, and she can go inside and re-access some of that feeling that your theme evokes. Let’s give an example of how a theme might be used. I’ll use “losing track of time.” EXAMPLE 1

Stage One – you are in a pub and open/display personality “I can’t believe how expensive some of these drinks are getting, I mean I’ve just come back from working in Spain and even though they don’t have the same amount of choice when it comes to beers, I really do like their prices. Do you know in Spain you can get a wine for 50 pence and a beer for less than a pound! Wouldn’t that be great if we had those kinds of prices here, can you imagine how much fun we could have? (SMILE) You know I was telling my friend Steve about my trip to Spain in here recently, and it was such a long time since I’d seen him ... and even though we were sitting there talking for ages, the time just flew by. I completely lost track of time because I was having such a great time. You know what I mean? Stage Two – theme. The Tao of Stevie Part 5 - Themes

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I mean have you noticed how time flies by when you are having an interesting time … WITH ME …. I think the sign that you are having a great time is when you look at your watch at the end of the night and you can’t believe how much time has flown by … and I don’t know how it is with you (setting her up to access more arousing memories) but when I am with someone … mmmmm …. SPECIAL …(more seductive look when saying special … lingering eye contact, raised eyebrows, knowing smirk … this can serve as an anchor too) you know that kind of person who you just want to be around all the time in a special way … mmm …… that you really look forward to the time when you can be together again … just the two of you … (fire seductive anchor of raised eyebrows etc) then that is when I think a person can find yourself having certain thoughts (fire anchor) Stage Three – arousal/attraction I mean, I think that when you NOTICE those kinds of thoughts just flashing through YOUR MINE … when you think of someone … ME … I find you can lose track of time completely and you just realise there’s something about this person (SP) that let’s you feel ……… etc. (maybe lead into a SS arousal pattern such as BJ / Discovery Channel/Personal Timing) Your theme (in this case, of losing track of time) links your opening fluff to having a good time with someone special, into intensifying those feelings of being with someone intimately. You can link them together using phrases such as “It’s like when”, “I mean I was talking about X the other day with my friend Steve”, and “And you know I was thinking about Y the other day”. You then tell her about your theme which relates/seems to relate to your fluff. There doesn’t have to be a logical link, but it should APPEAR there is a link. I use quotes a lot to make it seem like I am just reporting a conversation I had between myself and someone else, but really you are using the quotation to embed things and to link techniques. Example 2

Stage 1 (at the post office) – I have to post this to Africa/Europe and it has to reach there before Tuesday because it is my aunt’s birthday on Tuesday and can you imagine if the card arrives the day AFTER her birthday? Ha ! It wouldn’t have the same impact at all, would it? She’d be sitting there on her birthday thinking I’ve probably forgotten to send her a card. And we don’t want that to happen, do we? I mean it is so long since I have seen her, I remember going across to Africa/Europe when I was younger and I was so excited about the trip Stage 2 (theme is excitement) – I mean, you know when you are really looking forward to going somewhere you want to go? Maybe you build it up inside your mind, and if you have never been there before you wonder what it is really like? I mean I think when you fantasize about a place you have never been to it is really good fun, really exciting. You look forward to it happening ……. The Tao of Stevie Part 5 - Themes

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Stage 3 – It’s like when you just stop and picture something you’d really like to spend time with, you know that kind of person who on the one hand (pointing at one hand) is really intriguing to be with, and on the other hand (pointing at other hand) allows you to FEEL a sense of .. mmmmm ….(more sexual, lingering eye contact) excitement to the point where you have certain thoughts about them ….. ME (self pointing using both hands to self – firing the anchors) …. That’s when I notice that growing excitement……etc. See what we are doing here? You are setting an opener which fits the current situation, bringing in a theme (excitement) which bridges Stages 1 and 3, and allowing yourself to increase the intimacy of your talk gradually in such a way that she can easily accept your directions. We’ll take one more example. Now you have seen how the first two examples worked, try to see what is happening in Example 3 as you read it. Example 3

Stage 1 (in a bookshop) – Can I pay for this now? It’s going to be a present for my cousin for her birthday next week and she’s so hard to buy for. I walked around the mall for an hour trying to think of something she likes. I mean I don’t know her that well, maybe I see her a couple of times a month, and how are you supposed to know what someone finds really interesting if you don’t see them all that often? Stage 2 (theme is connections) – I mean occasionally you DO connect with someone really well and just understand them straight away, don’t you? They are easy to buy for. It doesn’t happen all the time though – like with my cousin! (SMILE) – but I was thinking about it the other day that when you CONSIDER a time you really felt in synch with someone …ME … I find you can sometimes know what they are going to say even before they …………… (let her complete you sentence – she’ll say “say it”) Yeah!… it’s like sometimes you can complete their sentences even before they ……. (again let her complete you sentence) See!!! And I don’t know how it is with you but when you just STOP and begin to consider what it is like to feel a sense of closeness with someone ….(SP) Stage 3 – It’s like I want to get to know them on a closer level. Because as you EXPERIENCE that connection, you feel that you can open yourself up to this person, it’s like you can start to share things together on a deeper level. And I was talking with my friend Joanne the other day about attraction and how you can really connect with someone …. ME …and her were talking about it for a while ...and she said, if you were to become totally aroused with someone… ME… I wonder … would you …..etc

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Ok, what are we doing? We are using a fluff opener she can easily accept and throwing in a universal experience (having trouble buying a present) in order to pace her reality and build rapport. We are gradually increasing the personal intimacy throughout in a sneakily vague way so as not to break rapport and to have her experiencing juicier states as we progress. The theme of connections links Stages 1 and 3. Training And Round Up

You know, often I don’t even know my theme before I start Stage 1. I just open my mouth and talk and trust my unconscious mind to provide a theme. I can do that because I trained myself in this area. You too can train by using the training game I mentioned in The Tao of Stevie Part 3. I recommend you practise using the training cards to speak out loud linking random fluff openers to random themes, to random arousal/attraction patterns. I throw in SS Patterning techniques such as embedded commands and syntactic ambiguity when I can, but you don’t have to. I use it because I have studied the techniques. If you just use the framework that I have described of fluff – theme – arousal you will get a lot of mileage from that. If you want to get into using more advanced techniques in your interactions then get the SS Home Study Course. But really, I think that if guys just go out and try using this stuff in the real world you will be pleasantly surprised with how well it works. I regularly get IOIs from girls when I use this technique with them. Training - Have three piles of card, one marked fluff, one marked theme, and one marked pattern/arousal. As described in Part 3 - Stevie's Training, you shuffle them and turn them over so a random card is showing at the top of each pile. You job is to start talking on the fluff topic, then link it to a theme, and then link your theme into a more intimate and arousing topic. It is fun to play this practice game and you can become good at it quickly. I found that after a few weeks practice I was coming up with good conversations. If you can do this it means you can talk for minutes at a time without running out of things to say. Gone will be the days of your saying “I didn’t know what else to say to her.” If you use themes as a bridge you will have tons of directions to lead her in. You can even learn to link themes to other themes, for instance if you are talking about the theme of connection you can link it to the theme of feeling safe:“And you know, when I feel a connection with someone it also allows me to FEEL GOOD, to FEEL SAFE with this person. Knowing you can open to someone, feeling that sense of safety and trust building .. NOW … that is something good, don’t you think ….” Have fun playing around with themes. Be enthusiastic. Once you have a decent mastery of how they can work to help your conversation and patterning you will find The Tao of Stevie Part 5 - Themes

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you rarely run out of things to say. With mastery you can take almost any idea that you create or she gives you and link it to a useful theme, which in turn can be linked to a more intimate (Stage 3) way of speaking.

Part 6 - Fuck Closing The subject of here is getting the fuck close from a girl. There are, of course, many ways to lay a chick, and this is a post about what works for me. I have tried to look at common threads which have run through many of my lays and explain how they relate to PUA techniques. I hope the reader will find some useful ideas here. I will divide it into two main parts, one dealing with going for the one night stand (ONS) where you meet and lay the girl on the same night, and the other part will look at getting the fuck from a follow-up meeting after you have number closed her or arranged to see her after the initial meeting. This is a big area and I can’t cover all the intricacies of it, but I have been thinking over some of the techniques I use to get the lay, and why the techniques worked to help me get the lay. I have fucked girls from both ONS and from follow-up meetings. I actually prefer meeting up with chicks and enjoying the thrill of the chase more than just a ONS, but there is something exhilarating about meeting a girl and fucking her the same night. When you can do that regularly you know your skills are honed well for sure. I can’t get ONS all the time; they tend to happen from time to time in amongst the follow-up meeting fucks. For me though the ultimate high in life is when you know you are going home to fuck with a girl the first night you ever set eyes on her, due to your skill. I’ll give some examples of times I have fucked girls using these techniques, and things I have learned from the girl after debriefing her in bed after the lay. Winning State Of Mind

Girls might want to fuck you for a lot of possible reasons. She might want you badly because she likes your looks, because you have turned her on with your persona, language, personality, perceived status, or perceived worth. She might want to be swept off her feet, could be highly sexual, out for a revenge fuck because her BF pissed her off, or any number of other reasons. What is important is you need to have her in a state of mind where she wants to fuck you, and for you, the PUA, to be able to create that state, notice when she is in it naturally, or hopefully, be the master of both these situations. Perhaps one of the most important things to remember is that if you win her mind, you will win her body. You can win the mind directly using your routines, C&F techniques, SS patterns etc. Or you can win her mind using her body, by this I mean using kino to get her into an aroused state. Just as the mind can influence the body, the body can influence the mind. You can turn her on by using your language by The Tao of Stevie Part 6 - Fuck Closing

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getting her imagining arousing situations. Likewise, you can get her so turned on through your kino and kissing that her mind will give in and go along with the fuck. For her to want to fuck you, ideally you should have her in such a state that she is dripping wet at the thought of you banging her. This means you use your techniques on her before you go for the lay in such a way that she is doing some or all of the following - she sees your value, is in rapport, likes you, is connected with you, trusts you, is fantasising about you, is aroused is your presence, sees you as the prize. With highly sexual girls you may not have to get all the connection, trusting and liking parts. With those types of girl, having sexual arousal and the opportunity for her to act on it might be enough. You have to calibrate what kind of a girl she is by testing the waters with her and seeing how she takes your techniques. Early on I make sure to test how far she will go by gently dropping light-hearted sexual innuendo, or using sexual conversation in quotes, after I have rapport. If she enjoys that, I know she is probably a girl I can push in a sexual direction more quickly than I can with someone who doesn’t understand the innuendo or avoids continuing it. Same with kino, I make sure early on to kino and test how she reacts. I’ll start lightly touching her arm as I talk to her and if she responds in turn, it is a green light. Follow-Up Meetings

When I first meet a girl at a follow-up meeting I make sure to show I am a sexual being right away. If she has agreed to meet you after the initial pick-up then you must have shown her something she either liked, or was curious enough to want to find out more about you from the positive impact you made in the first meeting. What better time is there to go for some strong kino then? Last time she saw you, you made an impression on her such that she wanted to spend time with you again. Therefore she is in a pretty open mood to you as she waits to meet you on the follow-up. I typically meet the girl in the evening for a drink. I try to make sure I arrive after her so I can walk right up to her as she is standing waiting for me. I walk towards her and smile, say “Hiiiii!!” sending out warm, confident energy toward her. I then reach out, put my arm around her, hug her, pull her in towards me a little or move my body close to hers, kiss her (sometimes on the lips, sometimes on the cheek, depending on how “into me” I judged her to be during the initial meeting we had. Or if I intuit she is submissive and likes to me led, I will kiss on the lips). I’ll say “Good to see you”. I’ll then launch right into a theme to put her at her ease, probably a NEO which allows me to use C&F and triggers anchors I have set to remind her of the best moments of the last meeting she had with me. I’ll then take her hand and lead her to the Tonguedown Bar. That’s not the real name by the way ;-) (I will take a photo of the place and post it soon, I think)

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Characterisitics Of A Good Tonguedown Bar

The Tonguedown Bar is a place I take chicks so I can pattern the shit out of them, kino massively, and tongue them down. You should have a good place scouted out in advance so you know it is a suitable place to go to work on her and get her into an aroused state. A good tonguedown bar needs a few things. It should be quiet enough that you can take her into a quiet corner and not be surrounded by people. If there are lots of people around then she is likely to feel like a slut, or self-conscious if she kisses you passionately. It should not be totally dead inside either though or she might be self-conscious that the bar staff are aware that you and her are the only people there and so will have the attention of the staff exclusively. A bar/pub with a quiet area away from the main action is good. My Tonguedown Bar has a back room with little alcoves recessed into the walls where you can hide from the people in the rest of the pub a bit. Also it is a little dark inside in the evening, no glaring lights shining on you as you are touching her sexually and kissing her. It should not have loud music if at all possible, because if your techniques revolve around talking intimately with her, she needs to be able to hear you. I find it tiring having to shout all the time and not very relaxing. Your tonguedown bar should be a place you can both relax and feel comfortable getting to know each other intimately. Go out some time and scout out a few places in your town/city and pick out a few good places you can take girls to for a follow-up meeting. If the place is near your house, that’s even better. Once in the Tonguedown Bar I will get us a drink each, telling her “I’ll get these in, if you get me one later.” The chick always agrees to that. I make sure to lead her to the secluded area. It’s best to get there at a time when it is quiet, in case it becomes too busy at peak time for her to feel relaxed. I generally meet girls on a follow-up on a weekday (Tuesday – Thursday) and go out to meet new chicks on Monday, Friday and Saturday, with Sunday being my day of rest. The advantage of doing things that way is I get to meet lots of chicks when lots of them are out on the town, and then when I arrange the follow-up, I meet them at a quieter time, which is more suitable for closing them in a quiet bar. Building Intimacy

Let the chick sit down first! That is important, because if you sit down first she might sit opposite you, and that is useless of intimate kinoing. Let her sit down before you, and then you sit next to her, not opposite. Make sure you are in a position where you can easily kiss her and touch her up. As we walk to the Tonguedown Bar I make sure to re-establish rapport, getting laughing, feeling good and enjoying being with me again. I might tell her a funny story, tease her a little, and kino. By the time we are sitting down together in the Tonguedown Bar we are already enjoying each other’s company, so what needs to follow next are techniques to test how sexual she is, stories to make her respect and like you, SS patterns to build rapport and then sexual arousal and progressively intimate kino. I recommend looking at Maniac High’s The Tao of Stevie Part 6 - Fuck Closing

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“Maniac Plan”, on www.pickupguide.com, checking out some of Ross Jeffries’ materials, and reading Tao of Stevie 1-5. My idea is to create an increasingly intimate state where her world is just me and her. I want her in a state where the rest of the world disappears, her problems are out of her mind, and she is just in the moment with me enjoying herself, feeling really good. A good sign of this is when at the end of the night you look at your watch and can’t believe how much time has flown by. You start off quite gently probing with your techniques to see which she responds well to. I’ll fractionate between direct SS, to telling an interesting story, to eliciting values, to patterning and all the while increasing kino. When I was with HB Writer on the follow-up meeting I did all this and fucked her on only the second time I met her. When the kino is increasing well, that is a sure-fire sign that you are likely to get the lay either than night or before long. With HB Writer I started holding her hand early on from doing a palm reading, and kept holding her hand as I moved the kino to thighs touching together, to hands on her shoulder, her back, putting my head on her shoulder and smelling her perfume, to nibbling her neck, to nibbling her ear, to kissing her on the lips and tonguing her down. All the time, I was talking to her, getting her trance words, feeding them back to her in patterns, building a connection and time distorting her so she imagined having those feeling connected to me for a long time into the future. After I moved into the Discovery Channel and Blow Job patterns, she invited me back to her place to “see the view”. We both knew what she really meant by that, so I said sure, we jumped into a taxi, which she paid for and went back to her place where I fucked her and slept the night. This worked for me because I won her mind over. If you win the mind over, the body will follow. The Body Will Follow

Winning her mind over is, for me, a reoccurring theme in my successful lays which I have got from follow-up meetings. While I was living with my Swedish ex-GF in Stockholm I used to chat online with an Italian HB who back at my former university in England. I chatted with her for a couple of months as a hobby and to try techniques out on while I was a newbie at SS. By the time I had worked on her mind, built curiosity, intrigue, connection, and chatted on the phone, it was easy to get the lay once I returned to England to visit my family. The Italian HB was waiting to meet me at the airport on my arrival and I slept with her on the second meeting! Her photo is up on my site (Michela). I had won her mind using my techniques so that she wanted to give herself to me. And she did. I can still clearly remember the tone of her voice and sexy Venetian accent moaning “Oh Steve, oh Steve”, as she was underneath me. HB Britney was won over to such an extent that I had to change my phone number after she started stalking me. She called me up while I was working near Oxford and talked dirty on the phone telling me what she wanted to do to me once I returned to her city. Look, when you win a chick over properly and get inside her head, she will want to you to fuck her brains out. I know, it has happened to me. I get right inside some of these chick’s heads and can almost tell what they are The Tao of Stevie Part 6 - Fuck Closing

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thinking when I am with them. When you can do that you gain a real power to influence their thinking. I generally see a girl three or four times before nexting her. If she is not going to give up the goods in that time frame I will move on. I won’t give up my time, energy and money on her if she is not going to give back what I want (we both want actually) If she is not playing ball I will tell her why I am not seeing her again. There are lots of girls who will fuck you either on a ONS or within three to four meetings, so I won’t continue to put effort into a chick who is not playing ball. I won’t get pissed off about it either, because I just see it as having been a great chance for me to hone my skills. But the majority of girls I can meet on a follow-up meeting with me do end up fucking inside of that time frame. One Night Stand Fucking Preparation

If you are going for the One Night Stand fuck close you need to be prepared for it logistically speaking. This means having condoms ready in your pocket. It means not drinking alcohol, or drinking only a small amount. There have been a few times where I have tried to fuck a chick and been unable to get hard because of the alcohol I drank. This happened before I got into ASF and learned real PU techniques. Being prepared also means you have a place to take her to. I prefer laying girls on a ONS at her place because I don’t know whether she is a stalker or will cause trouble afterwards. If you lay her in your house and find out later she is trouble, you risk having her cause all kinds of problems at your door. This has happened to me. So, if at all possible I want to do the ONS at her place. If I have got to know the chick and think I can trust her from spending time with her a few times, then I might take her back to my place. If I think I am going to lay a chick for the first time, I sometimes will masturbate beforehand in her bathroom while she is in bed waiting for me. The reason for this is so I can increase my staying power when I fuck her. A couple of times when I have laid a new chick I have come too quickly with the excitement of everything going to plan : - ) so now, if I am excited around her, I make sure to relieve myself first. That way I can fuck her for an hour or two, without stopping to keep the excitement level down. Sometimes I do mathematical tables in my head as I fuck her to increase my staying power. The girls I have had a ONS with have a few common threads running through them. Here are some descriptions of some ONS and the techniques that I think made them happen. HB Countryside

This was a girl I laid in a small rural town. I was in a club with my wing and had entertained a number of girls around her. I was the guy from the big city and that The Tao of Stevie Part 6 - Fuck Closing

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gave me social proof. I walked up to this chick and told her I wanted a place to stay for the night, that I was not from the small town and had no way of getting home late at night (it was about 1am). She said I was cute and invited me back to her place. I was kissing her all the way to her place and fucked her on the carpet of her living room. On the way to her house she told me that her brother often brought girls back to the house (she lived with her family) and if her brother could, so could she. I think this was a kind of “revenge” fuck to get back at her family. So this chick was up for some fun because I had social proof, was direct, and she was amenable to fucking due to her mental state towards her family. After I fucked her either her brother or father started walking down the stairs. I ran out the back door and never saw her again. HB Frivolous

This was an interesting one for three reasons. This was a chick I laid on the first day I ever met her. I was attending a meeting in Scotland about a new course I was about to begin working on. I’d arrived an hour early for the meeting and bumped into a girl, Michelle, who was also there for the meeting. Michelle was nervous about the job so I took her to a bar round the corner to get a drink with her and to calm her down (and sarge her too!). It went well, but we lost track of time and walked into the scheduled meeting together 10 minutes late. All the other attendees of the meeting were already sitting and had started without us. Michelle and me exchanged amused glances and walked in; continuing to exchange amused eye contact at our late arrival. One of the other attendees was HB Frivolous, a blonde English girl, who thought Michelle and I had arrived together as BF and GF, because of the way we were communicating to each other as we entered the room. I was alpha during the meeting because I was feeling high and content at having got on so well with Michelle. I think the others at the meeting recognised that good energy and state I was in, so from the very start I had created an image of myself with the other workers there that I was confident, was fun to be with, and girls liked me. A few others said they thought Michelle and I were BF/GF and when they learned we’d only met an hour or so earlier, they unconsciously understood I had something to offer a girl. That night at a social meeting in a local pub, HB Frivolous sat next to me and told me in French she thought I was cute. I used a lot of C&F techniques (I recognise them now as C&F, though at that time I hadn’t studied ASF). We made an excuse to go for a walk, and I walked her back to my room and banged her with no resistance. Another interesting thing about this ONS were that it was the first time I really used SS techniques and saw how well they can work if you do them right. I was sitting with HB Frivolous and started running time distortion on her, having her imagine feeling connection and close to me for a long time in the future. (This was done after I banged her, as an experiment). When I broke with her she kept sending me presents through the post and telling me how we were meant to be together. I treated her The Tao of Stevie Part 6 - Fuck Closing

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badly looking back on it, and I am not proud of that, I should have just kept her around as someone to play with, but it showed me how SS can really get you deep inside someone’s mind if you do it right. It also taught me to be more responsible, and not to give suggestions of everlasting bonds to a chick when I don’t intent to keep her around long-term. The last thing I noticed that was interesting is about automatic responses/autopilot. Before I’d banged her, and after the scheduled meeting was over, I walked past HB Frivolous in the corridor and she blanked me. She didn’t look up at me or smile, nothing. Like I wasn’t there! But later that same night she was telling me I was cute and fucked my brains out. It taught me not to read too much into an autopilot response. HB Corfu

I was travelling around Europe with “Natural” Mike. We were in the Greek Island of Corfu, at that centre of hedonism The Pink Palace. I had a ONS there with an American girl the first night I ever saw her. Natural Mike threw a bottle top at her friend, Amy, and started laughing and joking with her, using C&F. I fluffed with her friend Diane, a chick from Seattle. I took her out onto the beach for a walk and started kissing her up against a big rock. Soon we were getting more and more turned on. She was giving a little resistance, experiencing what some people refer to as the “Slut Factor”. I didn’t pressure her too much, but kept her simmering with lots of kissing and kino. We went back to see how “Natural Mike” and Amy were doing. He was doing well with Amy, so I decided to leave him too it and I took Diane back to my room. She was hesitant about going back to my room at first, but I used the foot in the door principle of saying we were only going to kiss, and she can keep her clothes on. She agreed and off we went. In the room I kissed her like it was going out of fashion for ages and got her so turned on that the clothes mysteriously started to come off. After a few hours of upping the passion she agreed to be fucked and I took her in the missionary position and then doggy. I should have masturbated first because my technique of “getting her aroused so much that her body will betray her into fucking”, also worked on me and I came too quickly. If I had used my wank-first technique, I could have avoided that problem and pleasured her for ages. HBs Kerry

These are two chicks I laid who I picked up in a nightclub. I laid them at different times and they were both called Kerry. I used to think it could have been the same chick twice, but I no longer think that way. I think now, it was two different chicks with the same name. These ONS used similar techniques. I got talking to her through mutual acquaintances and conveyed personality. I got the kiss close and made it clear that I The Tao of Stevie Part 6 - Fuck Closing

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wanted to fuck her. They were both a little resistant (probably the slut factor again) and I did a takeaway and went away and sarged other girls, making sure Kerry(s) could see me. I got social proof and showed I wasn’t needy. Later, at the end of the night she/they came over and told me I could share a taxi home with her. One of the times I had resistance in bed getting the fuck (down to underwear) but I kept kissing her and arousing her … grinding her though the underwear that her body gave in and she said let’s do it. HB Scottish

This is a girl I laid who used to work with a member of my family. I used to go in and visit this family member at work sometimes and I’d entertain and convey personality to this Scottish chick in her 20s who was there part-time. She always gives lingering eye contact and I knew something was possible with her. One day, after getting constant IOIs from her, I told her I was going to visit Scotland (to attend the meeting where I laid HB Frivolous) and she should meet me in Scotland and show me around. She agreed to show me around when she was in Scotland, and I got her number. I called her later that week and arranged to meet her for a drink before I left for the Scotland trip. I entertained her and kinoed her in a pub, and showed alpha traits. This was the first time I had ever been out with her. At the end of the night she said to me “I bet you’d like to shag me”, I told her I would, but it was something we both had to want to enjoy doing. She said she was on her period but I could go back to her place for a cuddle. I went back and got her into bed. I got her turned on, grinding her pussy through her clothes. The underwear came off and I fucked her. She was not on her period. That was her way of getting me back and avoiding feeling like a slut, I think. This was chick logic at its best. Turns out she has an identical twin sister who lives with her too. Oh the erotic possibilities that flashed through my mind when I heard that!!!! The reoccurring threads in these ONS are use of social proof before getting the lay, ability to be direct once I was getting strong IOIs, willingness to walk away, not being needy, the foot in the door principle, getting her so damn turned on that she just had to have me inside her. I made sure to help her avoid the slut factor by playing along when she gave hints we might have fun but was not ready to go the full way. I never argued with her, or pressurised her, I just took what she offered and used that to get the thin edge of the wedge in. Combine this with access to somewhere we can go back to, usually her place or a hotel room, condoms available, and going out specifically to search for a ONS, and you have increased your chance of making the ONS happen, because these are things you can do to make the ONS easier for her to accept.

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Instant Dates

These are a great way of increasing your chances for a ONS. You isolate the chick on an instant date on the first night you meet her. This can be seen as a foot in the door technique because you are getting her to agree in a small way, which in turn, sets you up in a position where you can push for slightly bigger agreements. Say you go on an instant date from club to get some food together. She finds that easier to agree to than agreeing to go home with you. In the diner you get to use patterning, kino, elicit values, and build a connection (which is not so easy to do in a noisy club environment). She is feeling comfortable with you and you suggest a walk. Again this is easy to agree to, more so now because she is feeling like she knows you better than ever before. You go for the walk and lead her close to where you live and invite her in to listen to the CDs you were telling her about. See the foot in the door principle at work again? Debriefing Chicks

An extremely useful way of learning what it was you did that enabled you to bang her is to use debriefing. This is when, after you have laid a girl, you are in bed with her, are basking in the afterglow of sex and you ask her what it was that made her want to sleep with you. Her answers are usually gold information because she is feeling close to you, and she has no need for a bitch shield to hide behind now that you know each other in an intimate way. If you know what you did right to get one fuck close, then you can learn to notice patterns in the techniques you use which tend to help you fuck close on a consistent basis. Then you can make sure to keep doing the things you know work consistently. I tend to ask questions such as: “What did you think of me when you saw me for the first time?” – This allows me to fine tune the image I send out to the world. “When did you first know you wanted to sleep with me?” – This helps me narrow down if there was one special technique I used that really got. “What was it about me that got you thinking ‘This is someone I should get to know better’?” Try to think of your own debriefing questions that would help you narrow down what it was that got her wanting to lay you. If there is something you want to learn about what chicks really think of you, there is no better time to ask her than when you are lying in bed together and you start the debriefing. Most of the chicks I have debriefed have commented on how they thought I was cute from the start, and how they love the way I talked to them. They usually say I am so different from other guys they’ve met who talk about football.

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ONS Versus Follow-Up Mentality

If you are not that bothered if you see the girl again then you don’t need to screen the chick to see if she is a psycho or has a nice personality. That means you don’t have to spend so much time on her as you would on a girl you’d like to see again and get to know on a personal level. This gives you more time to approach more chicks. ONS is more about becoming a chameleon and satisfying her requirements, or at least appearing to. If you are not bothered about ethics (I am, but it can help in the short term if you are willing to bend your morals to tell her what she wants to hear from you) then telling the whole truth about who you are and what you do is not so important on a ONS. I usually give the girls a fake surname unless I know they are normal and are not going to track me down if I decide she is not worth continuing to see. I am thinking of getting fake business cards printed for ONS material girls. I know a guy who has two mobile phones, one for girls he is going to lie to, and the other for girls he trusts. It’s not me, but I did think it was a good idea after HB Britney started stalking me and had to change my phone number because of her incessant telephone harassment. I’ll typically spend less time on a chick and quickly move on if she does not seem ONS material when I am out going for a ONS. When I see a girl who is more to my tastes as a person, I will typically spend a little more time on her if I think she is interesting and interested. As an average I’d say 15 minutes of time investment in a chick if I think she is ONS material and 30 minutes maximum if she seems like someone I’d like to meet on a regular basis. I recommend Mystery’s “Statistics of the Hunt” post in the archives. He recommends making 12 approaches a night when you are out sarging. And he is dead right about the need to approach a lot of girls if you want to hit lucky. You have to play the numbers game. There are sexual girls out there who want to play, so why waste hours on some girl who is only semi-interested. I have been there and done that. No more will I waste time on some chick that is only half-interested when I know that if I invested those two hours in making six more approaches, chances are I will come across a girl who is really into me. It really is a numbers game when it comes to a ONS. You need to cycle through multiple chicks and be able to recognise the signs she gives that show she is open to a ONS. In terms of numbers, I have had about twice as many fucks from follow-up meetings than I have from ONS.

Part 7 - Approach Mentality Approaching Mindset

A few years ago I had a problem with approaching girls. Now, I have largely got over that problem. I want to explain how I managed to get over it. I want to explain this to help people who have a problem with approaching. When I talk to girls now, I still retain a little nervousness, but just enough to keep things exciting. There is a fine line between fear and nervousness. There is also a fine line between nervousness and The Tao of Stevie Part 7 - Approach Mentality

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excitement. When I talk to a girl I feel a mixture of mild excitement and slight nervousness. I also feel great, because I know I am doing something that will help me progress and improve my skills. I want to look at the term “approach”. It is just a word but it can have different meanings to different people. To some people it is a walk up, where you see a girl you like, decide she is your target, and you have to walk up to her and say something. To other people it can mean just talking to a girl in the line at the supermarket or bank. And to someone else it could mean having to steal yourself into doing something you know you should do, but don’t really know how to do it or what to say. To the accomplished PUA it is something that is fun, exciting and potentially rewarding. Being able to have/create that mindset where talking to girls is fun and enjoyable will allow you to talk to people easily and all the time. I found Ross Jeffries’ Unstoppable Confidence Tapes very helpful and recommend them. Getting Talkative

One of the most important breakthroughs in this area for me was getting talkative. This means warming up and talking to lots of people. The way my mind works, and I think this applies to a lot of PUAs in training, is that their minds or skills get rusty if they are not practised. Have you ever received a phone call early in the morning when you just woke up and had not talked with anyone since the night before? If this has happened to you before, you might have found your voice was croaky and sounded a bit weird. Then after you talked for a minute your normal voice was with you again. It can be the same with PU, you sit in your room yourself or maybe you don’t chat with anyone for an extended period, and when you see a girl you want to speak to, you stutter or stall and you end up doing nothing. A way to avoid this is to warm up and get talkative. If you have ever talked to lots of people for an extended time, maybe you gave a speech at a wedding, did a presentation at school or work, or had to answer lots of successive questions from people, then chances are you will know what I mean about being in that talkative frame of mind. When you are in that frame of mind, the words flow from you very easily. This is your goal. Our aim then, is to warm up before we go for lots of targets. If you are warmed up and talkative your social skills will be more alert, and your words will flow much more freely than usual. The way I do this is I will go around a shopping centre before I hit the nearby bars and pubs. I go into the shopping centre and find any excuse to talk to the people who work there. I ask them about when the centre closes, about if the hours vary from day to day. I ask shop assistants if they have a sale on etc. My aim here is not to PU, but to WARM up. I don’t just ask questions either, I tell little stories that are connected with what I asked initially or are connected to the information the person has given me. My aim is to entertain them, tell my story for a minute, build rapport, get them laughing a little and to move on to the next warm-up target. Each time I warm up I sometimes aim to make the interaction a little more talkative on my part. The Tao of Stevie Part 7 - Approach Mentality

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I’ll spend maybe half an hour doing my warm up, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. Here is an example of a story I’ll tell during a warm up so as to give you a concrete example of what I am talking about. I’ll go into a shop and ask the assistant this: “Hi (smile) I ‘m wondering about your opening hours, because I know some shops have different opening hours on different days (pacing) and I sometimes shop here and I never know when is the best time to come. So what time do you close?” The assistant will tell the closing times, and then I will tell a connected story such as “You know I just got back from Spain and the interesting thing about Madrid is that some of the shops are open all night! I mean, you know how the shops and pubs here have to follow strict laws? Well in Spain they are much more relaxed and laid back. I mean the people don’t usually go OUT till about midnight! At that time a lot of people here are coming HOME!” (I have taken my initial topic and used it to lead into a more entertaining and personal one) I’ll then maybe talk about how I hope the laws here become less strict. I’ll then say thanks for the advice and smile. I’ll leave her feeling good. In fact, though it usually it is a girl I talk with when I warm up, sometimes it will be a guy, an old man, or an old woman. When you get talkative, the idea is that you get talkative with EVERYONE, not just HBs. There is a good reason for this, as you’ll see. Holistic Approach To PU

This topic is at the heart of a good PU philosophy. By a holistic approach I mean you meet people all the time, not only in special times when you see a target. I mean you are always selling yourself, being friendly, bring talkative, displaying personality, being fun, being the man, and being the prize. You behave this way all day long, everyday and not only when you decide you are going to talk to a target. The problem with having to suddenly switch on your PU skills is that, for a lot of people, they don’t arrive instantly when you need them. If you see a chick and start thinking of things to say and you stall, that probably is because your state of mind is cold. It is akin to starting a cold car that has been left in the driveway overnight. You come downstairs to drive it somewhere and you have problems getting it going because it has not been kept warm and ready for the journey. On the other hand though, if you keep your car ready and prepared in a garage where the car is warmer, it will tend to start easily in the morning. In regard to PU, if you see a girl you want to talk to, you can stall if you have not warmed up. Your mind has not prepared itself to get your mouth talking freely, and you stall. If you, however, have warmed up for a while and your words are flowing, then this is similar to the car which has been kept in the garage and readied for a journey when you need to make one. The Tao of Stevie Part 7 - Approach Mentality

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The best way to ready yourself is to talk to people all day long. The advantages of this are clear. If you are a chatty person who easily interacts with people during the day, then your “motor” is always ticking over and running at a low but useful level. You are rarely caught cold. If you are chatty and talkative all day you will make lots of new acquaintances and establish a network of people who know you as a good guy. That opens doors in itself. What I am encouraging you to do is to not only turn on the charm when you need it during a PU attempt, but to have a constant level of charm all day. When you do talk with a potential target you are not so much making an “approach” in the usual sense. It is more like you are just extending your energy slightly further than usual. Because displaying your personality, showing your enthusiasm and charm are things that you do all day anyway, when you talk to a potential target it is nothing unusual or different from what you are doing all day anyway. If you consistently show people you are friendly, fun and talkative, whether the person is old, young, male or female, then when you talk to a HB target it will be natural to you because it is something you do all the time anyway. By carrying out conversations with people and showing them all the good qualities you have, by building rapport and showing value, you are well on the way to living the PUA lifestyle. The best PUAs do not suddenly switch on their skills when they have to use them. They live the life and are the prize all their waking hours. Another quick analogy is that of dieting. Some people, when they want to lose weight go on a crash diet and stop eating all the things they usually eat. They find it incredibly difficult to stick to such a stringent regimen that they give up after a short time, or they quickly lose and quickly gain weight due to binge eating and starvation. A better and more sensible way to do things is to stick to a sensible diet that you can consistently adhere to. Instead of saying you will never eat X, Y, and Z, you might make a more reasonable commitment of limiting your intake of X, Y, and Z to sensible levels and combining that with gentle and regular exercise. If you stick with the diet and lifestyle that commits you long-term to being healthy without being totally neurotic about every calorie you put into your mouth, you will not only be more likely to be able to stay with the diet but you will also get the long-term health benefits that a yo-yo diet of rapid weight loss and weigh gain would not likely give you. If we apply this to PU, the point I am making is that making a commitment to live the lifestyle consistently will pay off for you more than only trying to turn on your skills to PU a girl when you notice a target. Example

Examples of these kinds of conversational openers can be found in my earlier Tao of Stevie posts, especially those on techniques, themes, and Neutral Entertaining Openers. Here is an additional example which I did yesterday:I was at the university where I work and approached a bank machine (ATM) to withdraw some cash. There was a cute HB in the line ahead of me. I used the 3 seconds rule and said the first thing that came to me. It is better to say The Tao of Stevie Part 7 - Approach Mentality

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something than to say nothing. I asked her if she was in the line. She was, so I decided to tell her a brief story to show my personality to her. I told her how sometimes I can’t tell if someone is in the line or not, that a few days ago I was in the line for the ATM and there were loads of people ahead of me and I stood waiting for ages until I realised they were all waiting for this one guy who was using it and had now finished and were chatting near the machine for 10 minutes! She laughed. I sensed someone behind me in the line and turned to see who it was. It was a guy, a student. I talked to him, asking if the bookshop nearby had just changed its name, that I was sure it used to have a different name last year, or maybe I had imagined it and this was all a dream. He laughed and said he didn’t know if it had changed its name. I carried on for half a minute having him imagine what it would be like if you woke up one day and all the names around you had changed. I told him my solution to such a problem would just to go back to sleep! He laughed, and I knew the chick in the line in front of me would have heard this. I was social proofing myself as a friendly guy with a personality. She used the machine and as she was finishing I asked her about the bookshop name and we had a little interaction. What I was doing was practising my skills in entertaining people, building rapport, opening people, and displaying personality. I just made it all up on the fly, but that is what you can learn to do if you practice for a while. Sharpened Skills

Since restarting my job at the university I have noticed how my social skills have become sharper again. For a while I was at home waiting for this job to start and I wasn’t out meeting people all the time. I grew a little rusty. But now, since being back at work, I meet students and colleagues all day and have to interact with them and read into what they are thinking. The international students’ level of English is quite low when they arrive and they are a little shy. But my communication skills are sharpened now that I can easily tell when they understand or don’t understand something that is said to them just through observing their non-verbal communication. They don’t even have to say “I don’t understand”, I can tell when they don’t follow or when they don’t fully agree with what I am saying. Being able to tell when someone doesn’t fully agree with you is a calibration skill. It is a very useful skill to have in any form of communication because if you can notice their objection beginning to form you can change your communication and nip their objection in the bud by reframing what you are saying or adding a qualifier that makes what you are saying likely to be accepted by them. Why wait until someone objects to your communication before you correct it, when you can learn to stop that objection properly forming in the first place and offer them something more acceptable in its place?

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Congruency

In a recent discussion online I talked about how to achieve congruency and authenticity in your approaches. If you can come up with openers that feel totally natural to you and you can deliver in a way that fits your style of communication then this may not be a problem for you. However, if you are using a canned opener or pattern that someone else has scripted, or a story you know is fake, you may have a challenge in always keeping your verbal communication consistent with your nonverbal communication. If you have such a challenge you run the risk of the HB receiving signals from your communication which she experiences a “this seems fake/unnatural/inauthentic”. From my online discussion:“I think the authenticy idea is linked to the concept of consistency. As you say, there are both verbal and non-verbal behaviour. When a person communicates to someone else he is sending out messages of both kinds. If the two types of communication match and seem to be in synch, i.e. not conflicting and saying different things, then consistency is going to happen. If they are communicating in a way that is conflicting with each other, the messages will be viewed as false/inconsistent/unauthentic. There are 3 ways to handle this that come to mind. 1. Use true stories from your life, things you know really happened. 2. Learn to believe something you say is true, even if you don't know if it is true. Maybe even you know you made it up, but if you repeat a lie enough times you can almost believe it is true. When I was 14 I put a knife through my hand playing a reckless game. I didn't dare tell my family or closest friends how it really happened so I made up a story about chopping food and slipping with the knife. After a few weeks of explaining this made up excuse to doctors, friends and family I came to almost BELIEVE the story was true myself, even though I was the one who made the damn thing up!!!! In regards to PU, if you tell a story/routine to people repeatedly and enough your behaviour will become more and more authentic with each telling. 3. Learn to control your non-verbal communication. Take acting classes or work yourself in front of a mirror or with a tape recorder to make your tonality and energy match your story. You could even video yourself. I think no.3 is tiresome.

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I recommend number 2. Tell your tales to people all day at work, at home, with your family. Then after a few weeks the fake story will seem more natural to you than a hesitant retelling of the real event which has been long out of your mind.” I feel pretty fucking powerful quoting myself as a reference here. “And my authority on this issue is …….. well ……. ME!” I want to point out the connection between the techniques of being talkative all the time, and achieving greater authenticity and seeming natural in your approaches. The overlap which works in your favour when you talk to people all the time is you can repeat the same stories and scripts many times. Talking to people a lot gives you the chance to really rehearse your stories well. With every telling of your story it will become more ingrained in your mind and you will be able to tell it more effortlessly each time. Not having to waste effort in trying to remember the next part of your story frees up your head to concentrate on other thoughts such as what state she is now in and how to get her to where you want her to be. Do you see how these skills inter-connect? Living the life keeps you warmed-up, being warmed-up allows talking to chicks to be something normal to you because you do it all the time anyway, and talking to people during the day means your stories are well rehearsed and therefore come across as sounding natural and authentic. If you want to learn to integrate new scripts into your arsenal of techniques it is useful to write them out on cards and speak them out loud for a day or two. Try telling them to people around you at work or at school or in shops you go into. After a short time they will become second nature to you and when you get communication from a HB that is suited to you bringing out that technique you’ll easily be able to use it because you have trained it a lot already. Don’t overload yourself if you are new to this, take one or two scripts/pattern/stories every couple of days and work on using just those ones and fit them into your conversations whenever possible and appropriate. Natural Approach Areas

Some guys have a problem doing a “cold” walk-up such as happens on the street where you stop a chick and open her. This was never my forte, and one way to get around your challenge with opening like this is to stick to approaches that happen in naturally occurring situations. Then, when you have got the skill set you need from having had lots of interaction gained from these naturally occurring situations, you will be in a much stronger situation to be able to handle “cold” approaches. One place I like to do openers is at a bar when I am in a pub. I will chat to the server behind the bar for social proof, then talk to a HB who is at the bar. I make sure to go to a part of the bar where there are HBs waiting to get served or are at least hanging around. Another places to naturally interact and display personality is in shops, with servers in cafes and restaurants, and in hotel receptions. I remember one good The Tao of Stevie Part 7 - Approach Mentality

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interaction I had in a shoe shop where I went to pay for a pair of shoes and the HB assistant named the price. I mentally divided the price in half and said something like “So that means each shoes costs £30, right? But I don’t know if you sell individual shoes, because you see I am getting my leg removed next week and it seems like SUCH a waste of money paying for 2 shoes when I will only ever need one.” I got her laughing and it turned into a nice sarge. Role Models

Something I have been doing recently, and I don’t know if people will find it useful, or whether you will call the men in the white coats and cart me off to the loony bin, is pretending to be other PUAs. I never planned or thought about doing this consciously, but I noticed myself doing it spontaneously. Call me nuts, but the other day when I was fucking FB Chinese I found myself pretending to be Style (I swear this is true even if it sounds weird – but I felt really powerful as I fucked her as Style). I have never met Style in real life, but I have read tons of his reports and seen him in photos. I don’t know how he actually is in real life, but that is not the important thing, it seems. I think most people who are into PU and who read online, have their favourite posters and have some idea in their heads about what that favourite poster is like. I know it is said you should never meet your heroes, and there might be something in that saying, but there is something to be said about having role models. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what they are really like, the important thing is you have a powerful image of what they are like and that you can experience some of that power you invest in them. If you can feel the skills and the power of a role model then YOU have some of that power already in you. You must have some of that power because you created it and invested it in a person you maybe never even met. That sense of power you feel your role model must have is coming entirely from your own mind, your own perception of what some one is like and the power that you feel that person must have. Told you I was nutty, but I do think this is a powerful technique. Try stepping into someone you like, someone you know would handle the situation you are in especially well. I won’t suggest a list of posters or names, but I am sure you can think of some people you’d love to meet in real life. What is it about that person that makes you want to meet them? What do they have that you’d love to see in action and experience? If you can experience some of that feeling of power you know you have some of it already in you because you are the one entirely responsible for creating that powerful association. When I record my sarges with my hidden recorder I know that some of the best PUAs will potentially listen to the sarges, and that too inspires me to make it good. What if you were to anchor all these useful associations to yourself? (By the way I also found myself imagining I was a Roman citizen living 2000 years ago in a beautiful villa in Italy when I was fucking a girl from behind a few weeks ago too. Time for that jacket with the special long sleeves I think!) PS When I fucked her as Style she came much more strongly The Tao of Stevie Part 7 - Approach Mentality

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Part 8 – Seduction In Detail During the previous seven Taos I have talked about some of the techniques I use to meet chicks. In this Tao I will give a detailed account of a recent meeting, and show how I used these techniques in the field. By using these techniques I went from meeting a chick, to having her on her back in the Tonguedown Bar with her legs wrapped around my waist, kissing me and grinding herself against my cock. This will be a very detailed discussion of how I managed to influence Abi and to lead her into wanting to be seduced by me. Theatre Meeting

Last week I went to the theatre to see a magician, Derren Brown. He uses a lot of hypnotic languaging, persuasion techniques, and mind-reading effects. I was in the bar before the show and I spotted a guy I thought I recognized from my school. I hadn’t seen him for maybe 8 years. He was with a girl. When I sat down to watch the show, this guy Dan was sitting near to me. The girl he was with, Abi, came and sat down next to me, between me and Dan. As she sat down she gave me eye contact and a smile. I said hi. I got talking to the guy and we chatted about school. I told stories that got him laughing. I knew Abi was listening but I ignored her and entertained her indirectly. She seemed to grow interested in what I was saying to Dan but I negged her gently by largely ignoring her comments and directing my conversation to Dan. She asked about my accent and I disregarded her question. I then sat back and made her laugh a little, joking about how Derren might be doing his tricks. When I asked her how she thought he might do them she said “magic”. Sure, magic. I thought she was joking back to me but it turns out she really believes in magic. It’s nutty I know, but I made sure to make good use of her belief in seducing her. Part of being a good PUA is knowing when a good opportunity is present. Here was a chick who believes in magic and who, it turns out, thinks the guy on the stage who can do all these mind-reading effects is very hot too. I learned she is sexually open when she made a joke about Derren getting a blow job in his dressing room from his groupies. She kept leaning forward to expose her lower back and her T-Back skimpy panties. Was that an IOI? Maybe it was, maybe not. I chalked it up as a good signal anyway because even if it was not a deliberate IOI to me, it at least showed she likes wearing sexy panties and is not ashamed to show them off. It pays off to listen to what people say when they think you are not listening .If you do that then you can later surprise and intrigue them with your intuitions. That is what I did here. I started listening to what she was talking about with Dan. I heard her mention having had an ear infection because of the headphones she wears at work. A little later I told her I had an intuition about your job. By this time she had The Tao of Stevie Part 8 – Seduction In Detail

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forgotten her passing earlier remarks. What I was doing here was setting myself up as someone mysterious and I was allying myself with the positive associations she has for Derren (and the BJ association in her mind). He is someone who she believes can do real magic, so my aim was to use my cold reading and intuition skills to get myself into that part of her mind where she thinks of sexually attractive and mysterious mind-readers. I wanted to use my skills to create a massive amount of intrigue and understanding of her so I would stand out from anyone she has ever met. Once I could do that the rest would follow. I used my inferred reasoning to intuit she works with her ears a lot. I had a feeling she works in media or film. I told her I could see her at a local independent cinema. She was dressed very independently, a little grungy, so I took her to be free-spirited. She had taken off her shoes already in the theatre. This was not a mainstream “keeping up with the Jones’” kind of chick. She confirmed she often hung out at the café inside the cinema. From this I intuited she doesn’t drink a lot, as most chicks who go for drinks go to pubs/bars here in Newcastle. She mentioned a café, so I knew she probably was not into drinking. I made sure to use this knowledge when we met up a few days later. I guessed she was involved in languages or translation. She seemed bright, was involved in media, and wore headphones. She said I was close, very close but not quite there. I told her not to tell me yet. Not yet. During the show I initiated kino. It was a mutual thing really. It started with my left leg touching hers. It got more intense (but still polite) as I moved on to touching her shoulder. At the end I had my hand on her leg all the time. She was mirroring me at times too by matching my posture in the chair. At the break she asked my star sign. I told her. She asked my exact date of birth. We were born on the same day of the year. I am a year older than her. But the gods were definitely on my side this night. To have someone sitting next to you who is into your recently-learned mind games AND who has the same date of birth is weird. Initially I thought she was lying to me and her saying that we share a birthday was another IOI, but when I met up with her she showed me her passport and sure enough, we have the same date of birth. I made no inquiry about her relationship with Dan or if she has a BF. If there was going to be any problem in that area she wouldn’t have been responding so well to me from the start. So, at the end of the performance I knew she was very interested. She number closed me before I could close her. I got her number (she didn’t try for mine so I knew even more certainly that she was into me). This was a chick who was very interested to learn more about me. I had shown lots of value, negged, built rapport, entertained, kinoed and intrigued her with my close intuitions. By the way, it turns out she translates films for the deaf. She does subtitling and that kind of thing. I was pretty close. Style pointed out to me recently that a lot of my successes come with having social proof in some form. This is another example of social proof helping me out. It really is a powerful technique to know how to use. When used in conjunction with other The Tao of Stevie Part 8 – Seduction In Detail

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techniques such as kino, C&F, negging and patterning, you can have a massive influence. Phone Contact

I called Abi after 2 days and told her I wanted to pass on my number and to tell her I am going to be available on Sunday afternoon or on Monday. She said that sounded ok, and we chatted a little. It was brief. I made sure to keep the frame that I am the boss and was making time for her. When I read out my number to her I did it in an authoritative way, almost shouting the numbers down the phone at her. I heard the Jerky Boys doing that on one of their tapes. I noticed in the text message later on she referred to me as “Sir.” I think this may have been an unconscious response to the way I shouted those numbers at her. A couple of days later, on Sunday, I phoned her and told her I was going to be in town on Monday afternoon. She was in bed when I phoned her. I teased her playfully and called her lazy. I told her she was an owl, a night owl. She played along and said she could turn her head 360 degrees. Fine, I thought. She said she’d meet up on Monday. She asked what we were going to do in town after we met. I told her we’ll think of something, with a little hint of sexual suggestion in my tone. I wanted to make sure to avoid the dating frame by planning out some pre-arranged activity which could be interpreted as being a boy/girl thing, and all the negative connotations that can go with that frame. Meeting Up

I arrived at the meeting place in the centre of town and arrived a few minutes late so I could walk up to her and kino her. This I did and then I sat down next to her. My aim early on was to put her at her ease, build rapport, re-establish my value, and then to recreate those feelings of excitement she had for me at the theatre. As we sat and talked for a couple of minutes I was talkative and made sure to set the pace of the conversation. I led. I did not let her talk all the time, I made sure to lead the conversation so as to establish my authority. I was watching her non-verbal communication too, and I saw she was not completely relaxed, as she had been at the theatre. I made sure to work on that part first. I started smiling a lot more, I presupposed a close friendship, I told her things about myself that you’d tell someone you trust quite well, I let her into little secrets that I made up. She opened up a bit more as she saw I was listening to her and responding to her ideas in a way that showed I was really taking them onboard. I am sure I was also mirroring her, but I do this unconsciously a lot anyway so I didn’t need to pay much attention to that part of my communication. She mentioned “Roy” a couple of times. Who ever he was I just made sure to ignore him, and sure enough, he went away and wasn’t mentioned any more.

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She’d told me in a text message that she’d wanted to go shopping over Easter for clothes but the shops had been shut, so I told her I wanted to go to look for a pair of jeans and maybe she can come with me, She jumped at this suggestion and repeated her “shops were closed” story to me. I took her to shops that had the kind of clothes she seems to like. I noticed she wore an anti-war badge and I mentioned how the war had pissed me off so much. She seemed to like this. One of the shops we passed had closed down. She said she hoped it would be turned into apartments for homeless people. I remembered this reference for later, and agreed with her. I was building rapport and finding subtle ways to show we think a like. This would help my later connection building seem more congruent with what she knew about me. This sounds all so Machiavellian I am sure. The truth is I meant almost all of what I said to her. I don’t mind telling little white lies such as entertaining stories to a chick, we both enjoy it and it doesn’t hurt anyone. I’d never compromise my values or get married or anything though. Salsa Bar

By now we were in good rapport and I told her we should go and have a sit down. She suggested a salsa bar across the road. We went in and looked for a seat. I made sure to let her sit down first so I could sit next to her (not across) and kino her. But she chose to sit in a seat that was blocked off from the others and I had to sit opposite her. Damn, cockblocked by a chair for the first and only time in my life. I told her I’d get the coffee, but she is getting me a drink later on. This helps avoid her thinking I am supplicating by buying her a drink, as it sets up a pattern of reciprocity, and makes sure we are going to hang out together for some time as she can’t leave until she has bought that drink for me in return. I got coffee because I remember her implying at the theatre that she is not a big bar drinker. Sitting opposite her I go to work. I fluff a little, and then bring up the subject of magic. This is to revivify the associations she had towards being there with me last time, and to let me go into some mind-reading effects that I know will blow her mind. I run a pattern on her about the ideal man, and one on quality versus quantity. I then drop in parts of the incredible connection pattern. I run the Spells routine from Mystery and it turns out (surprise, surprise) that she DOES believe in spells and is even a wiccan (a kind of witch) in her spare time. There is a God! I tell her the story about my friend having a love spell put on him, and then link into connecting with people naturally when she says it’s wrong to use your magic spells to influence people like that. I tell her I know that the best way is when you feel that connection and you notice those qualities, all the time linking to me. I tell her when I feel a connection it is like you understand each other and can know what they are thinking, like I did about her job and her birthday (I never knew her birthday really but she associates me knowing it with mind-reading it from her somehow.) I tell her to think of a friend she is close with, someone special to her and to send that person’s name to me. I mind-read her and freak her out by giving her the The Tao of Stevie Part 8 – Seduction In Detail

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initials. She is really paying attention to me now. I then tell her to think of any word and I mind-read that too. Her word is “FOX”. There is a mp3 of me doing this effect on my site (not with Abi, but with some other chick who thinks of “SEX”). Abi is now looking at me in a Doggie Dinner Bowl way. I tell her we are leaving and lead her outside. On the way out I chat and entertain the barman for some extra social proof. She had told me she’d studied languages and I make sure to talk with some Japanese tourists in Japanese who I spot nearby. Riverside

It turns out she is musical, and so am I. I tell her about the music I have written and she offers to get me a gig at a club she works in sometimes. We walk towards the river. I tell her in passing that I am a playboy and I like to take all my girls down to the river. I am making sure here that I set the frame early on that she can’t control me or expect me to be only with one chick. She accepts this totally and tells me I am a “playa”. I tell her I am a mutha-fuka. I deliberately start to bring in sexual references from here onwards. I know she is comfortable with me and that she feels ok about sexual talk because I heard her using it spontaneously at the theatre. I jump on her back and tell her to give me a piggy-back. This is to increase kino and to be playful. It shows I am not needy and am a sexual being who is not sleazy, but has some class. I have shown understanding of how she thinks, of what is important to her, and have continued to build on her initial intrigue and growing connection with me. Down at the riverside I pull out my digital camera and take a photo. I get some guy to take a picture of us together (photo on my site). I am getting her used to being in front of the camera so when I make out with her she doesn’t freak out about me pulling a camera out of nowhere on her. There is a warehouse with “Lubricants” written on the side nearby and I make sure to bring in sexual references using that. We walk along the riverside and see an army boat. I know she is against war (from her badge) and comment on the army in an implied negative way. She agrees with me. There are a block of new apartments at the riverside being built. I tell her they should be given to homeless people (because I noticed this was important to her earlier.) I notice how being clever with language seems to impress her so I continue using my puns. I take her onto the bridge and pattern a little, take some photos and pretend to throw her off the bridge. I take her hand and lead her back to the Tonguedown Bar. Tonguedown Bar

We drifted there naturally it seems, like we were both on autopilot. There is a Chinese barman there and I greet him in Chinese. She pays. We go to the Tonguedown area at the back of the bar and slide into my favourite seat. She writes “playa” on my arm like a fake tattoo. I ask a couple to take our photo and they turn out to be German. I have a short conversation with them in German. She is amazed at my language ability, and I tell her I am a cunning linguist. The truth is I only speak a few languages badly (with the exception of Swedish, the others I just know a few important and The Tao of Stevie Part 8 – Seduction In Detail

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useful phrases that allow me to open foreign tourists.) There are some Swedes in the corner and I tell her how to say “Lick pussy” in Swedish (slicka fitta). She laughs and I anchor it by squeezing on her leg and making a sexual expression on my face and giving lingering eye contact. When the Swedes get up to leave later on I make sure to talk with them in Swedish. I run a “beauty is common” pattern on her, connecting it with the Swedes who, I told her, generally have skin-deep beauty. I tell her someone with a great energy etc is worth working to get to know, and link it to myself. Abi is impressed. Here is a guy who is very interesting, sociable, considerate, a leader, who connects well, has similar interests, can keep one step ahead of her, is intriguing, mysterious, not needy, and can read her FUCKING MIND. What do you think happens next? Just for fun I freak her out by telling her to touch any business card I present to her. She chooses one and on the reverse is written “Abi will choose this card”. Only one of the five cards has this written on it. She DDBs again and says I am so charming. Kiss Closing

I turn up the kino. Soon she has her leg over mine and I am touching her everywhere. I tell her my vampire story to turn her on. I tell her how I used to dream about being hunted down by 3 beautiful vampire girls in their early 20s, who chase after me and I try to escape but they catch me and I tell them no, no, please don’t BITE ME THERE (using obvious embedded tonality) and point to me bared neck. I am implying to her that I really always wanted them to catch me and bite me. I tell her then I can be a vampire like them and go hunting with them for beautiful young girls who will be with me forever, who bite each other and make love night after night after night. At this point I am whispering into her ear, nibbling her ear, then going for her neck. I tell her I have never bitten a real girl and I am sure she can’t IMAGINE the sensual pleasure of those lips on her white neck. I bite her gently and then move in for the kiss … I tell her I have never nibbled a girl’s ears like this (and do it as I say it) and I have never kissed a girl who …. and I gently kiss her lips before finishing my sentence, and when she is only half-expecting it. I don’t go for the heavy tonguedown immediately, but instead want to make her want me so badly that she will do almost anything to have me. I set up an anchor with the words “Not yet…” by saying I have never done such and such (e.g kissing her neck) to a girl …at least NOT YET!” then I’d do the action. This set up in her a feeling of excitement as I described the next thing I had never done. I did this maybe 5 times on different parts of her body, then talked about other things I had not done, such as making love in the moonlight …. At least not yet. This got her picturing doing that image with me, and the suggestion had authority because all the other things I had said I had not yet done (e.g kissing her neck) had come true already.

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Kissing Technique

She’s moaning as I kino her and nuzzle into her neck and pull her close so her tits are against me. She’s saying she’s never met anyone like me before. She said she can’t figure me out. I know I am a mystery and a challenge to her. I am the prize, without the shadow of a doubt, either in her or in my mind. I feel that to be 100% accurate. I pull her in and kiss her heavily and tongue her. All the time I am kissing her I am using a push-pull/101 technique in my kissing where I keep her guessing what I am going to do next. I kiss her deeply then pull away, give sexual eye contact that says “I want you, you want me” then I go in again for the kiss in a way that makes her think I am going to kiss her deeply but in fact I kiss her gently and tenderly, then just as she is relaxing I pull her in closer and tongue her down like she is the first chick I kissed that month. It is fractionation to gradually and rapidly increasing the excitement she feels with being with me. I use the same kind of technique in my kino as I am kissing her. I touch her gently with my arms around her waist, I pull her in passionately and then don’t kiss her passionately, I kino heavily and kiss her lightly. I fake going in for the kiss. The idea is to confuse her rational brain so she can only focus in on the experience she is having. She is always pleasantly surprised by what I do next. It is a game that she finds exciting and unpredictable. It shows I am in control, setting the frame, am experienced, and not needy. It hints at how good I might be in the bedroom. I tell her she wanted to kiss me at the theatre. She says yes she did. I probe further by asking “right away, as soon as you saw me?” No, she says, but soon afterwards. I ask this as a quick debrief now that I have kissed her and I know she is mine. She confirms my thinking that she wanted me after I had shown value and kinoed. Initially she was curious, and when I built on that during the performance, she knew she wanted me. I pull out the camera and take 3 photos of us kissing heavily. Some are on my site’s photo page. I tease her and ask her if she is always so forward with the boys she meets. Soon she is getting so arousal I have her on her back, she is lying on a lounge bench with her legs wrapped around my waist. She is grinding herself up against me and I am virtually on top of her, feeling her tits and my hand up her top, kissing her like it will go out of fashion at any minute. Then I tell her I have to go. (I have a meeting to fuck FB Chinese). This time limit also shows her we’ll do things on my terms. Abi wakes up from the trance she has been in. For a while the only thing in her world has been me and her. She’d even forgotten she was in a public bar and had got very openly sexual with me. She snapped back to reality and tried to make me stay longer with her. I told her she’d see me soon. We walked back to the train station and I kissed her deeply goodbye. I told her to dry the water on her head. What water on her head, she asked? THAT water on your head, I said, as I splashed my rainwater wet hands on her forehead and walked away laughing. I wanted to keep up some C&F just in case she thought she could control me. And I felt like it too. I was always told when I was AFC that I was too nice. Call me, she shouted after me. I will, I told her. And I will. The Tao of Stevie Part 8 – Seduction In Detail

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Conclusion

This was a good seduction for me because I knew consciously what I was going. I also did much of it instinctively so I didn’t have to think all the time about what I should be doing next. Being able to go by instinct, but to be able to consciously know what you are doing, frees up your mind to enjoy the seduction, I find.. The basic stages of this were 1. Giving Abi enough interest and curiosity in the theatre for her to want to see me again. 2. Using my intuitions to tell her things about herself that surprise and delight her. 3. Setting the frame on the phone that I am the prize and in control. 4. When we met up making sure to re-establish rapport. 5. Leading her and conversing with her on subjects that mattered to her. 6. I make sure to notice what is important to her and to align myself with her on these subjects, without compromising my values. 7. Reading her mind to create massive intrigue. Linking my “powers” to us being connected. Using her belief in magic etc. in my favour. 8. Displaying qualities I know she admires, for example, adeptness at language. 9. Being playful and bringing in sexual references once I see she is truly comfortable with me. Making it FUN to be with me. 10. Closing when the chance is there. When I fuck her you’ll be the first to know. PS I'm Sagittarian.

Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini My aim here is to look at influencing girls to have them carry out your wishes. My material this time will come from Robert B. Cialdini’s book “Influence – Science and Practice”. I am using the second edition as my reference. Cialdini’s book examines how people influence, and are influenced, in their day to day lives by other people, groups, and companies. In this study I will discuss how Cialdini’s findings can be applied to the area of PU and meeting chicks. I will show how I use his weapons of influence in my PU techniques, and I hope to provide some ideas for further discussion. I will examine Cialdini’s book chapter by chapter, look at his findings, and show how his findings are relevant to, and can be used by the PUA. I encourage people to add their thoughts to my findings. I will give examples whenever possible from my life experience in meeting girls to relate Cialdini’s findings to the world of PU. I first studied this book when I was living in Sweden in 1997 and have been familiar with his conclusions since that time. I have kept his

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findings in the back of my head throughout my seduction studies. Time and time again I find so much of what he says to be useful. Cialdini Chapter 1 – Weapons Of Influence

This chapter gives an overview of why a lot of techniques of influence work. A great deal of the reactions people give in their daily lives to outside stimulus are not consciously generated, or even if they are consciously decided, they are subjected to unconscious or semi-conscious techniques of influence. Cialdini refers to these techniques as “Weapons of Influence”, and he devotes a chapter to each weapon he examines. This introductory chapter looks at the reasons for, and the reasons why people respond automatically to stimulus. Cialdini points out that life is so complex and hurried these days that it is often necessary to accept things on the basis that we think we know how they will operate. When they don’t operate quite as we have expected, we are open to manipulation or influence from people who know these techniques. An example is the usual correlation people make between price and quality. Usually, when something costs a lot it is a sign that it has high quality and value. If we know people will tend to respond in a predictable way to a given stimulus, the influencing person can give the trigger but withhold the expected reward and still benefit from an automatic response in their target. We might buy something with a high price, assuming it is high quality, and be ripped off because we did not check the merchandise properly. Another example could be that people will usually help those who seem to be in real need. If you know this and you pretend to be in real need, you can gain the benefits of that help without actually having to be in real need. So, you can benefit without having to really pay the price to get what you want. Cialdini calls the automatic mechanism “Click, Whirr” because it is similar to pressing a button and getting an automated response. Press the right button and you can generate the automatic behaviour. This section, and its corresponding sections in later chapters, will look at how Cialdini’s findings can be applied to PU, and how I have applied this understanding in my approach to PU. In this section I’ll look at the benefits of using automatic responses, which people generate all the time, in our favour. This is all about increasing rates of compliance in the people we deal with. These techniques are not magic bullets, it remains a numbers game, but when these techniques are used, especially in conjunction with each other, your chances of successfully influencing the person increase greatly. Imagine using these techniques on a chick in sequence. Then, they can be very powerful. Cialdini points out that when a person makes a request to someone and gives a reason, even if that reason is not a logical or real reason, then the person is much more likely to agree to the request. He gives the example of a person asking to use the photocopier before someone else. When the word “because,” is used i.e. a reason The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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is given, the rate of compliance is much higher. This rate remains high even when no real reason is given, but the form is used e.g. “Can I quickly use the photocopier before you because I have to make some copies.” It seems that giving a reason, even if it is not a real reason, will increase compliance. I remember being in a nightclub and picking up HB Countryside (it was in a rural town) and banging her the same night on a One Night Stand (ONS). I used this technique of giving a reason, even though it was not a real request. I opened her, got some rapport, then said something like I was stuck in her town and want somewhere to stay for the night because I really need a place to stay. She took me back to her place and fucked me. A girl might see you have quality if you put a price on yourself. If you tell her “hands off the merchandise” in a C&F way when she touches you, she can sense that you are not needy and have value. If you put a price on yourself by not always being available to her, by not returning her calls immediately, and by how you dress and exude confidence, then she can sense you have quality. It doesn’t matter so much if you are not totally confident inside, it is what you present to the outside world that is important. If you give the impression that you are valuable the chick can start to sense your value. Of course it is better if you really are confident and you know your value, then you will be more congruent. But for newbies who are trying out these techniques, the “act as if” you are something is a good technique. If you keep acting “as if” for some time and people are responding to you “as if” you have the qualities you are presenting, then sooner or later that congruency is likely to follow and those qualities will become real. Don’t tell people what you are doing. Keep your skills secret. Cialdini compares it to Ju-Jitsu where you use people’s strength against them when you fight them. In techniques of influence you will be most effective when the person you are influencing doesn’t consciously know you are influencing them. Going under the radar is most effective because no one likes to realise they are being manipulated or coerced. Use these techniques in a way the person enjoys. Make it something you do with them rather than something you do on them whenever possible. Have them think it is their own idea to do whatever you are suggesting or nudging them towards. As Ross Jeffries says, “What a person perceives to be their own idea, they don’t resist.” Cialdini describes the contrast principle. This is where you offer something expensive, knowing it is likely to be refused, then offer something slightly less expensive (though still expensive) to the person. The second offer is more likely to be accepted because in comparison to the first offer it seems smaller and more acceptable. For example you offer a coat for $300 and your offer is refused. You then offer a coat for “only” $140 and this seems much more acceptable when compared to the more expensive coat.

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In relation to PU this technique can be used to go for a fuck close but settle for a blow job (an extreme example I know), or you go for the tonguedown but settle for the kiss on the cheek, knowing that you now have the “foot in the door” principle in operation. This principle will be discussed in a later chapter. It is similar to the “yes set”. Cialdini also talks about how something different can stand out even more strongly if you contrast it against something else. He says “There is a principle on human perception, the contrast principle, that effects the way we see the difference between two things that are presented one after another. Simply put, if the second item is fairly different from the first, we will tend to see it as more different that it actually is.” Relating this to PU, compare the AFC with the PUA, or someone who at least attempts to step out of the shadows and actually use some of the techniques in real life. Because the girl is used to being hit on by supplicating AFCs or guys who try to show off, or simply ask questions without showing any quality or value, when the PUA uses his techniques on her which rapidly differentiate himself from the AFC crowd, the PUA stands out far more and is even more effective because he is so different in comparison to what the girl is used to experiencing. This shows the importance and benefit of actually going out there and just trying these techniques. Even if you don’t do everything perfectly, what you do try will probably have a lot of value anyway and will make you seem far more valuable than the AFC crowd. This is because your techniques stand out and seem more powerful when contrasted with the behaviour of supplicating AFCs. Cialdini Chapter 2 – Reciprocation

There is an unwritten law in human interactions that people should respond favourably to someone who does something for them. Humans generally do not like to feel indebted to someone else, and we are told from an early age that one good turn deserves another. When someone does something for us, society generally expects us to do something in return. This feeling of reciprocation can be exploited by an influencer. Cialdini calls it the old “give and take …and take”. He means that you can deliberately give something to someone in order to get something, usually something more costly than the thing you offered, in return. I should point out again that no one likes to feel manipulated. That is why when guys ask to take a girl out to dinner (as an AFC attempt to seduce her) she might feel uneasy, because she may feel that she is required to give something in return for the free meal i.e. her body. The way to use this weapon of influence effectively is to not allow the person to consciously know you are using the principle of reciprocation. Go below their radar and make it seem like you do not want anything in return, or better still show value in other ways than through your money.

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One way to avoid making it obvious that you are using reciprocation is to avoid using it right away. I always try to show value in other ways before using reciprocation. If you use reciprocation straight away after opening a girl it can seem obvious that you are trying to manipulate her. I find it much more effective to first build rapport and have her start to like you first before using reciprocation. I’ll entertain, get her feeling comfortable, show my worth, THEN I might use reciprocation. It is like the difference between really showing you have value and simply saying you have value. By showing my worth through my personality, it doesn’t seem as if I am trying to impress her or influence her when I throw in reciprocation. The use of reciprocation, I find, is best used when you have already won her over a little and she likes you. Then she has no reason to think “he is just doing this so he can get something in return.” If you already have her liking you, and seeing your worth, then when you use reciprocation it just seems like you are doing something for a chick because you like her and she likes you. It does not then seem like an obvious attempt to influence. And it is when something does not seem like an obvious attempt to influence that it can be most effective. It seems like a more genuine action on your part rather than manipulation. It is still a manipulation of sorts and will still get you your results, but it will be in a way that seems a lot more pleasant for both of you. A small digression - I use the word “manipulation”, and a lot of people may interpret this as something bad to do to a person. I don’t think it is necessarily bad. I think it is neutral because it depends on what the outcome of your “manipulation” or “influence” is. If the girl is “manipulated” into have the time of her life where she experiences wonderful pleasure and comes… away with happy memories then that can be a terrifically positive thing to experience… with me… manipulation or influence is just a tool to get your outcome. The outcome can be good or bad, it depends on what your aim is. When I am with a chick my outcome is always to give her a wonderful time and to explore being with a new person, finding out what she is like inside and outside, and expanding our mutual experiences of the pleasures of the world. With me that is an amazingly positive thing for both people to come to know. When I am with a girl and use the weapon of reciprocation I get the benefit of having her stick around long enough for her to pay back in someway what I have given her. This buys me time to use my skills on her, to influence her through techniques I know. If I have done something for a girl in a way that she feels genuinely indebted to me, I know she is likely to hang around with me for a while, at least until she feels she has paid me back and no longer carries that feeling of indebtedness. I might read her palm and tell her things about herself that give insight into who she is as a person. I might make her feel good about herself through a pattern, or I might use something physical such as letting her keep a card where I have written a word/number which I mind-read from her. I have given something which she values, in a way that doesn’t obviously seem like manipulation, but nevertheless causes a feeling of indebtedness in her.

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You can combine the weapons of reciprocation and social proof. I will discuss social proof in a later chapter, but combining them can work as follows. You approach a set and you entertain the non-target, making sure the target is watching. You use reciprocation on the non-target, for example, maybe you read her mind and have her feel she wants to give something back to you. The target sees all this and you are credited with massive social proof because people in her group want you around them and want to do things for you. Some businesses do very well by giving away a free sample of their product. Their aim is to show the value of their product to a large target audience and have the audience realise the value of the product so that they will come back for more after having that good taster. So it is the same in PU. The PUA uses his skills to show value, he gives something to the target and she starts to see him differently. He makes her feel good, he has her connect good feelings with being around him, he does something for her to make her enjoy the experience of being with him, then he sets up a situation where she naturally is in a position to enjoy sharing something in return with the PUA. And might she have something he would enjoy? Oh yes. Give out your free sample, get them hooked and then reel them in. Cialdini Chapter 3 – Commitment And Consistency

People who constantly change their opinion seem wishy-washy. Politicians always say “we’ve said all along that…”, and “I’ve always said…” Society values people who seem consistent in their beliefs and opinions. Someone with strong personal consistency is seen as someone who is reliable, steady, and dependable. Life can be frantic and full of events we have to handle, and because of this people tend to rely on shortcuts to things done. Often, when we know something has worked successfully for us, we are happy to use it again. This is a good strategy most of the time because we find what works and stick with it. However this strategy can be exploited by people who want to influence others, by making it appear that the shortcut will work in the usual way but making sure the outcome is different. I have written about the foot in the door principle before. This is the technique of getting someone to do a small favour for you and then making a bigger request afterwards. Cialdini points out that if you have someone accept doing a small request, a request that is easy to agree to, then you ask for a bigger favour afterwards, you are more likely to get the bigger request granted than if you had just made the big request on its own. This foot in the door principle can be used in meeting girls. I was in a shop a couple of months ago and there was a chick next to me, I was looking at shoes and I asked her if she could let me squeeze past her, this she did, I asked her if she could tell me which shoes were in the sale, and she did. I asked her to hold a shoe for me while I looked at another shoe. She held the shoe. I told her I was bargain hunting and had just bought a necklace it a very good price, I showed it to her. I told her there were more bargains at the back of the shop and told her to come The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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and have a look with me. She came with me to the back of the shop where it was more private. I patterned her, got her name, kinoed gently then more sexually, and closed her for the number. This example shows how I used the foot in the door principle by starting out making small requests she could easily accept, and then once I had her going along with me I used the weapon of consistency to move her where I wanted her. If you are anchoring someone, or use a ratifying technique to have a person commit to being with you as feeling good to her, you can use the weapon of commitment. Once someone has committed them self to one opinion it is easier to move them along in that direction more strongly and it can be difficult for the person to back out because they have already stated they have the opinion. They don’t want to lose face by seeming to be inconsistent. I notice Maniac High uses this in some of his seductions, he’ll ask a girl quite early on during their meeting if she is adventurous or romantic (notice the double bind too!) and get her to commit to being one or the other. Then later on when he offers his arm for her to hold as they walk, or holds her hand, he can remind her of her commitment that she is adventurous or romantic. She will find it easier to accept his suggestions than to back out because she has already committed herself. Swingcat uses commitment and consistency in his qualifying techniques. He’ll have the girl qualify herself as being adventurous etc. and then when he gets more intimate with his techniques she’ll more likely go along with it because she had committed herself as being adventurous enough to hang out with him. When you anchor a good feeling in a girl and link it to yourself with the suggestion “Can you feel that… feels good… with me”, and set a covert anchor by having her commit to feeling good as she experiences your touch, you can start using the weapon of consistency and commitment. If you want to push her in the direction of spending more intimate time with you, then you’ll be more likely to have her accept that suggestion because she has already accepted that she feels good being with you. This can work on both the conscious and subconscious level. If you have a person commit to you while she is with other people in the group who hear her give commitment to you, then your weapon is even stronger because she will not want to lose face in front of the group. This would work well as part of Mystery’s group set theory. After you have fucked a chick she’ll tend to justify to herself that it was all for the best. Chicks want to feel that she has made the right choice in deciding to sleep with you, so they’ll often justify to themselves what she did was the right choice after the fact. I remember hearing Orion talking on the SS BHSC about a chick he’d seduced. He told her afterwards what he did to seduce her, and she wasn’t angry at all, she justified it. At first she tried to say, “no I didn’t fall for you because you used such and such a technique, I fell for you because you are so much fun etc.” Then later on when he insisted that he used SS techniques on her she justified it as “it’s so nice that you cared so much to please a woman that you’d study these techniques to make her feel good about herself.” This is the weapon of consistency at work. The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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As I said earlier, people use shortcuts to make life simpler. These shortcuts, though, can be hijacked by people who know how they operate. If you look at the technique of pacing and leading, it can be seen that you are using your knowledge of how people tend to rely on shortcuts in their thinking. If you make a series of statements that seem true and verifiable to a person and then add in a suggestion that might not be quite true, the suggestion is more likely to be accepted because the facts around it are all seen to be true. The shortcut says if all those other things are true then that one I’m not sure about is probably true as well. For example if you say “You know when you meet someone new, and you don’t know much about them at all, you might judge them from their appearance, the way they talk, the look on their face, and NOTICE SOMETHING YOU REALLY LIKE ABOUT THIS PERSON as you start to have certain thoughts come into your mind about what they are saying.” By using this kind of technique you make a number of statements which are rather vague but will be interpreted by the person as being verifiably true, then you add in the suggestion, which in this case is “notice something you really like about this person”, then the human mind tends to follow right along with the suggestion and carry it out with out ever realising the suggestion has been offered and acted on. Cialdini Chapter 4 - Social Proof

I find social proof to be a very powerful technique. Cialdini gives the example of canned laughter being used in TV shows to influence people to think of a show as funny. When people were asked if they liked canned laughter almost all of them said no. Research however shows that people do laugh more and for longer at a joke when canned laughter was added. The same people who said they did not like canned laughter still responded to it exactly as was intended. He also gives the example of bar-tenders often putting a few dollars into the tips jar before the display it to customers in order to make it seem as if other customers have already parted with their cash to help the bar-tender. This is social proof at work. In terms of meeting girls, if you present yourself as someone people get along with and enjoy being around, you are getting social proof. If you are in a club or a bar and proceed to entertain lots of girls, make them laugh, have them show they are enjoying being with you then you are building social proof in the eyes of the other girls around you. They see that other girls find you attractive or interesting and want to find out what it is that you have. You are increasing your perceived value through your social proof. If you use a female pivot to approach a group and use the pivot to help you access the 9/10 target in the group, then again, you are using social proof. For those people who want to learn more about social proof I recommend studying Mystery’s posts or taking his seminar and workshops in the Mystery Method. I try to

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use social proof whenever I can. So many of my successes have come from using social proof that I know for sure what a useful technique this is. Cialdini states “The principle of social proof states that one important means that people use to decide what to believe or how to act in a situation is to look at what other people are believing or doing there.” It is a fact that a lot of the time girls are unsure about what they want. If you go in and try to attract a girl it may take sometime to hit upon a hook that will get you in with her. A lot of the time she will be ambivalent about getting together with you, especially if she hasn’t known you for very long. You can speed things up by using social proof. If you are a talkative and friendly person all the time and your target sees people responding very favourably to you, then you have effectively speed up that period of time she might need to warm up to you. If you can win over her friends when she is in a group then you are combining the weapons of social proof and commitment/consistency because she will be likely, at the very least, to acquiesce into the groups response to you, or even actively fight for your attention if you are ignoring or negging her. Cialdini Chapter 5 – Liking

People tend to like people who are like themselves. It is a fact that if you can influence a person to like you then you have a much better chance of getting what you want from them. Cialdini looks at how this process works on a number of levels. He says “People prefer to say yes to individuals they know and like”, and goes on to talk about physical attractiveness, similarity, familiarity through repeated contact, and liking through association. In terms of meeting girls using these techniques you can have a person start to like you through your communication with them. When you show someone that you have a genuine interest in who they are as a person, when you ask questions of them that show you have a deep interesting and understanding of where they are coming from, and when you can connect with some in a strong way, you are likely to develop an increasing rapport with them, This can be the beginnings of feelings of liking the person. If you feel good when you are around a particular person, if they entertain you, make you laugh, take an interest in what is important to you, and do so in a way that is so refreshing and different to what you are used to experiencing then you have a good reason to start liking them. You use techniques of eliciting values, getting their trance words and mirroring their behaviour once you have rapport in order to increase the feeling that you are like them and have a genuine interest in them. The best people in this area, I think, are those who really do have a genuine interesting in finding out about the other person. When I meet a girl, I’ll use techniques I’ve mentioned is previous Taos to build rapport, show value and to win her over. Once you have got her feeling comfortable with you then you can begin using techniques to influence her to like you. If you know SS patterns you can tell stories and create connections with her to have her feel The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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that she likes you. You can use kino as you talk to help her remember your interaction more fondly. If you touch someone as you talk to them, studies have found that they have a more pleasant association with that interaction than they have for a similar interaction that involves no touching. I am not talking about sexual touching during the initial part of your sarge, I am talking about light kino on the arm or hand to add to the feelings of rapport that you are building. Kino of this sort should be used in conjunction with other rapport building techniques otherwise you risk having her think you are gratuitously pawing her. Use it in the appropriate place and it can work very nicely in your favour. You can combine such ‘innocent’ kino with the foot in the door principle by gradually increasing the intensity of the kino once you have had her accept the light, ‘innocent’ kino. On the subject of physical attractiveness, there is something that psychologists call the “halo effect”, where people who are perceived as good-looking are credited with having good inner qualities, which they might or might not in reality have. Cialdini remarks on the fact that a higher proportion of perceived good-looking suspects in court cases are acquitted than the statistical average would allow for. They benefit from the halo effect. He describes an experiment where a person who was part of a sub-culture, such as a hippy, was approached for a favour on the street by a person dressed in the clothing associated with the same sub-culture e.g. a hippy asking another hippy for some money, Cialdini reports that the rate of the granting of the favour was higher than when a person who appeared not to be part of the sub-culture made the same request e.g. a ‘square’ approaching a hippy for a favour. Compliance was shown to increase with an increased feeling of liking or similarity with the other person. Using an “incredible connection” or “ideal man” pattern would probably help your target to begin to feel as if she likes you and so increase your likelihood of getting compliance from her. This research got me thinking about peacocking. When you peacock you aim to stand out from the crowd and have people notice you. It strikes me as highly likely that when you go out in a stylish peacocking outfit to a club, people, especially girls, who tend to be highly interested in fashion, will say they like your style because they see you as a trend-setter rather than as a mundane, sheep-like follower of the latest fashion. Peacocking can made you seem like a leader rather than a sheep and girls tend to see leadership qualities as alpha traits. I wonder too though that if you want to peacock most effectively you should aim to have your peacocking style fit to some degree the club you are going to. By this I mean that you are the trump card in the whole place. The rest of the guys there are all low value cards in their dress sense, while you are the king or the ace of that same suit. For example, if you go to a club which has a lot of guys in fashionable clothes and you wear something which is incredibly peacocky but shows that you are aware of fashion and that you choose to innovate and lead in a fashion sense then you are more likely to have people like you for you cool outfit. Conversely, it might be a mistake to wear some peacocking Calvin Klein designer gear to a club that is very grungy. In order to stand out as cool in a The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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grungy scene you might have to wear massive platform bondage boots which make you stand out as being cool in that particular scene. These are only my thoughts on the matter and I am interested in hearing from other people who have peacocked about whether they find I am right on this subject. An extremely interesting part of Cialdini’s book is a part of this chapter that seems to correspond almost exactly with Neg Hit Theory. He says: “In certain personal interactions, it may pay to be slightly critical. Suppose you have just met a woman you want to like you. Although steadily complimenting her would be one way to accomplish your goal, research conducted at the University of Minnesota indicates that your most effective tactic might be to arrange for the woman to overhear you stating a reservation or two about her and then progressively shifting into a crescendo of praise. The research showed that women who overheard themselves being evaluated in initially negative terms and then increasingly glowing ones actually liked their evaluator more than did women who overheard themselves described in a wholly positive way.” This research backs up the power of Mystery’s Neg Hit Theory, and the technique of the slight put-down followed by redemption (or the chance to redeem) can be used in other ways by the PUA. If you have a girl who you like and you have made fluff and built up some sense of rapport you might feel it is time to throw in a IOI. You might say something like “You know, I kind of like you, but I don’t know anything about you, so who are you anyway” or “I don’t think we should get to know each other …. you seem too much of a nice girl for me … but tell me three things about yourself that would make me want to get to know you better.” When opening sets, if you can get the target’s friend to like you then you can combine the weapon of liking with the weapon of social proof. People like to be associated with winners. In today’s society, to call someone a loser is seen as an insult. Notice too that when a football teams wins, people will say “we won”, but when their team loses they will tend to say “they lost” i.e. they associate themselves with success and distance themselves from failure. When I am with a girl I try to keep the interaction as positive as possible, I steer clear of any negative topics in the early stages, at least until I have a big hook into her. When she thinks of me I want her to have powerful associations of positive things. It is like when you go for a job interview, although there might be negative things in your past work, you avoid bringing them up because you want to put the best possible gloss on your appearance during the interview. You want to sell yourself as effectively as you can. So it is the same when I am with a chick. I keep things as positive as I can and use anchors to easily bring back those positive associations. When she has gone home and thinks of me or is reminded of me due to a post-hypnotic command I have set up, I want only positive and pleasant associations in connection with me to come flooding through her. I make sure to paint a picture of me in her mind that has her see me as a positive, enthusiastic, intriguing, and fun to be with kind of person. If you have photos of The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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yourself with famous people who are seen as winners, you can use these effectively in a photo routine and associate yourself with these people. You could even go to a wax museum and take some photos of yourself with some celebrities. Finally, Cialdini talks about the benefits of repeated contact, and mutual successful cooperation in influencing someone to like you. Not every girl is going to want to lay you the same day that you meet her, but if you meet her a few times and use all your weapons on her before you next her or fuck her, then you add to your chances of success through repeated, successful contact. If you show her value and then, after a few successful meetings, when she has recognised your value, you decide you are not going to see her again unless she gives up the goods and gets sexual you can combine the weapon of liking with the weapon of scarcity (which will be discussed later). You have given her your free sample to get her hooked through repeated pleasant contact, now you are going to take away her treat unless she is willing to give something back in return. That is only fair, isn’t it? CHAPTER 6 – AUTHORITY In life we need to have certain kinds of authority to run the show, for example police officers to stop crime, and leaders to make decisions. People tend to defer to those they see as having authority. This is because we are programmed to believe that those in authority are wiser, more powerful, know what is best for us, and need to be obeyed if we want to get by in life. Generally, in our western society anyway, these people are usually trustworthy so trusting in them is usually beneficial. Not a lot of people have the resources or ability to stand up to authority or to fight against it in the courts. That takes time, effort, knowledge and money. A lot of the time we use shortcuts in life and when we sense or perceive someone as being an authority, our “defer to this person in authority” shortcut can be activated. How often have you watched a current affairs programme or a talk show on TV and there have been “expert” guests who give advice to the other participants? It happens a lot, and the interesting thing is a large number of these “experts” are deferred to simply because they are introduced on TV as experts. Not everyone seems to ask the question “How is this person an expert?” During the recent war in Iraq I saw a number of people interviewed by TV news presenters because they were “Middle East/ Iraq experts”, and no further introduction was given. I remember George Orwell pointing out in one of his essays that the world is becoming such a complicated place that experts have to rely on other “experts” to do their research. Especially in an area like science, there are so many branches of specialisation that it is near impossible for one expert to know everything in his or her field of work. We are forced to rely on authority figures time and time again in so many areas of life. In the area of PU, the PUA can use this trend to his advantage by creating a perception of authority with the girls he interacts with. It should be noted too that for The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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a lot of girls, a man who is authoritative is seen as a leader and as having alpha traits. A person who is seen as having authority is someone you can take direction from, because the shortcut behaviour tells us that a person in authority is usually to be trusted. If you look and act confident and your behaviour is congruent with the way you confidently speak, you can come across as having authority in what you say. When I meet a girl, I make sure to set the right frame from the outset. This frame is that she sees me as a person who is decisive and knows what he wants. Years ago, before I had studied PU skills I would have said things like “What do you want to do?” and the chick would usually say “I don’t know”, or “Anything”. This is not a good way to demonstrate that you are authoritative or a leader. Set the frame early on that you know what you want. Have a plan worked out of where you will take her or what you want to do and offer her the chance to come with you. Often I will say “I am going to be in town tomorrow afternoon because I need to buy a pair of cool pants, and I think I have time in the afternoon to meet up if you are going to be around.” I make sure to offer her a chance to hang out with me, rather than me trying to meet up with her. I often put a time frame on things too in order to make it seem that I am making time for her to fit into my schedule. When she emails or texts me I don’t always reply right away, I might wait six hours or wait until the next day before replying. This makes it seem as if I am not needy, and it makes her doubt her powers of attraction. I try to make her work for me, then she’ll perceive me as having additional value. Cialdini talks about uniforms giving authority. They are a symbol of authority. Also, tall people are seen as having more authority. Why not invest in a pair of peacocking platform boots or shoes that make you stand out from the crowd and give you extra height. It doesn’t matter if you are already tall, look at Mystery, he is already tall and still wears high platforms that make him look seven feet tall. I don’t know what it would be like to wear an actual uniform to peacock. If anyone has tried peacocking in a real uniform I’d be interested to hear from them as in a shop last week I saw they were selling army dress uniform jackets that were stylish and would really make a person stand out. I think peacocking generally though might work in a similar psychological way to wearing an actual uniform because both make the person stand out from the crowd, both show the people around you that you are not a regular person off the street, and both can make you look stylish in a way that people respect. Peacocking might even have advantages in some ways over a real uniform because a peacocker is showing individuality that a uniform-proper wearer doesn’t have the chance to show, and a peacocker has to have even more confidence to go out wearing an outrageous outfit in a way that a regular uniform wearer doesn’t need. The advantage to the real uniform wearer would probably be that certain uniforms already have positive associations attached to them, and simply by putting on the uniform you have attach some of those associations to yourself. I have noticed a lot of girls seem to like fire-fighters in uniform. A business suit, if it is stylish enough to make you stand out, or if you combine it with outgoing jewellery or a wild hair style, can The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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give an impression of affluence and authority. But avoid looking like a regular square in a suit. Make sure you own the look and not vice versa. When I look stylish around my university campus, I have noticed I attract more looks when I carry my briefcase than without. I put this down to the briefcase suggesting I am affluent, and my individual style suggesting that I am outgoing and different. Cialdini Chapter 7 – Scarcity

Cialdini points out that “According to the scarcity principle, people assign more value to opportunities when they are less available”, and he mentions how shops often have offers for a limited time, with deadlines, or on a limited number of items. This is the scarcity principle at work. You’ll see it almost everyday if you watch for it. There are countless adverts on TV about “offer ends 21st March”, “only until next Friday”, or “first 100 callers get a free X”. Cialdini also states that the scarcity rule is even more powerful when the scarce thing is seen as becoming even scarcer. You’ll see offers telling you to call quickly “while stocks last”, this is the scarce-and-becomingscarcer principle in use. I was in a bar a number of months ago and I had elicited strong eye contact from a girl. I had her interested in me through my flirting but she made no effort to come over to me until I started putting on my coat and she realised she was about to lose me. I have used this technique a few times already. I will display value to a girl and then give a sign that I am about to leave her just as she is starting to become interested in me. Takeaways are largely based on the scarcity principle. If you have a girl interested in you, maybe you have given her a free sample of what you have to offer, you have made her feel good and shown your value, then if you seem to takeaway from her what she thinks she is going to get, she can feel pressurised to act or to lose you forever. Be sure though to only use this technique on girls who are not getting physical with you in the way you want them too. In the past I made the mistake of using this on girls who I didn’t have hooked well enough and when I did the takeaway they didn’t bite. The takeaway is best used on girls who are offering last minute resistance to being intimate and your other resistance breaking techniques have not worked well enough. Get them hooked before you try using the weapon of scarcity. If you are available all the time you can lose value in the girl’s mind. Making yourself a little scarce from time to time adds value to how she perceives you. What has the most perceived value, an everyday price or a limited offer? The limited offer has more perceived worth. It is a good technique to put a price on your time and don’t be too available, make her work to meet up with you. Make it seem like you are sometimes too busy making money or seeing other chicks to meet up with her, and when you do give her some of your time, put a price on that time sometimes. Tell her you can’t stay all night with her because you have to meet some else later on. The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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When doing openers, it can be useful to put a time limit on your interaction when you open. For example you say “Hi, I only have a couple of minutes to talk because I have to meet my friend, but I’m wonder if you… etc.” Having a time limit both helps her to relax because she thinks it will be a short interaction, and it makes it seem like you are not needy. It doesn’t have to really be a short interaction because once she starts enjoying being with you, she’ll tend to overlook or develop convenient amnesia for the time constraint you had mentioned. That mention of a time constraint is only a technique to help you open, give yourself value and to help her relax. Once you are over the initial opening you can use your other techniques to build rapport, entertain and show value. If you have a reasonable skill set you will stand out from the AFC crowd. Maybe 90% of the guys that she talks with supplicate to her or ask boring factual-based questions that do nothing to build rapport or capture her imagination. When the accomplished PUA goes in and shows her something that is rare, she is experiencing something that she hardly ever, if ever, has had before in an interaction with a new man. You offer her something of value because you seem to have something special to offer that virtually no other men have shown her before (unless I have sarged her the week before!) Therefore, because you are something rare and special, you have value that is scarce. What you allow her to feel is not something she feels often at all, and therefore she attached value to it because of its scarcity. If you have done your work right she’ll see that rare combination of qualities that she likes and want to hold onto that valuable discovery. This is what happens when a chick says things like “I have never met anyone like you before”, and “You are so different to anyone else I have ever met”. I hear that from girls from time to time. It shows they know what you have is scarce and is something they therefore can attach value to. Cialdini Chapter 8 Instant Influence

In this, the final chapter, Cialdini summarises and concludes his findings about the weapons of influence he has studied. In his final discussion he reminds us of why, in today’s fast-paced world, these techniques are so powerful : “More and more, we are forced to resort to another decision-making approach [than the most sensible, rational and best-considered one] - a shortcut approach in which the decision to comply…is made on the basis of a single, usually reliable piece of information…Because of the increasing tendency for cognitive overload n our society, the prevalence of shortcut decision making is likely to increase proportionally. Compliance professionals who infuse their requests with one or another of these triggers of influence are more likely to be successful.” If a PUA can combine these weapons of influence that Cialdidi discusses he can become very influential. When used one their, some of these techniques can be extremely effective and powerful, but when used in conjunction with each other their effectiveness grows. The Tao of Stevie Part 9 – Weapons Of Influence – Robert B. Cialdini

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Part 10 – Recent Learnings This part of the Tao can be seen as an update to my earlier material. I still use all the other material but now I have changed the format of when it is used and in what sequence. I hope this chapter can help give an understanding of my current modus operandi. This year I have incorporated a lot of new techniques and material into my game and want to share with you much how I am using this new material. This year has been seen me meeting up with lots of top guys, for example Tyler Durden, Papa, Sickboy, and Mystery from whom I have been able to learn and make improvements. I’d studied their posts for a long time anyway, but meeting in person added a personal experience and helped me really integrate their teachings into my game. I want to thank all those guys for their input, as it has been of great use to me. I am indebted to them for their input. I don’t want to repeat their material here, as you can learn their material through the search engines, archives or at a workshop. Rather, I want to present how I took onboard those new learnings and how I have fit them into my game. I want to show how these techniques and understandings have changed my game as it was described in the earlier chapters of the Tao. I had the opportunity recently to visit my natural PUA friend “Natural” Mike for the first time in two years and to re-examine how he does things. I studied the DYD materials and incorporated those. Also, I read books on sexual evolution to help me understand more fully why men and women behave as they do sexually. In addition, I learned mind-reading, bought a new digital recorder, digital camera, and got into peacocking in a bigger way,

Current Modus Operandi Attraction First Before this summer I had been working a game that was largely based on entertaining people, getting them to perceive my value and then going into rapport techniques such as patterning. Then in the summer I met up with TD, Papa, Mystery and Sickboy. I’d studied their new material heavily during the first part of the year, and when I went along to their workshops it brought a lot of their material together for me and I was able to incorporate it into my model of meeting girls.

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The most important improvement was pointed out to me by Papa and Sickboy in a restaurant as we chilled after a crazy afternoon of daytime fun in London. I’d been demonstrating my game to them and done lots of approaches which included conveying personality, entertaining people, mind-reading and rapport building. They pointed out to me that if I were to precede my current game with attraction techniques and then get into my usual game of entertaining and rapport my success would go right up. The guys gave insights on applying the new Mystery Method 7 Steps to my game and they really got me thinking. They said my opening, entertaining and rapport based game was one of the best they’d seen but it lacked a distinctive attraction phase to go before it. I knew what they meant, having read lots of posts by Mystery and TD during the first half of the year. What the guys told me got me into developing my game to the point where I can get attraction strongly with many of the chicks who interest me. I haven’t mastered transitioning fluidly from attraction game into rapport yet but I am working on it hard now and know I’ll master it before too long.

Distinct Attraction Phase After the recommendation to incorporate a distinct attraction phase to my game I started using a lot of the attraction techniques taught in DYD and by TD. This meant using cocky and playful techniques, busting on girls, using push-pull as described by Swingcat, body-turns for mini-takeaways, using mini-cold reads and future adventure projections. I recommend reading up on these techniques to anyone who wants to develop their attraction skills. I have found that using busting and cocky/playful (I agree with those who say cocky/playful is a better description of the state you want to project than cocky/funny is. It’s perhaps a small distinction, but I have found it better to think of projecting a playfulness rather than purely “funny”. I think “funny” is a way of getting to playfulness). The idea is to use busting and cocky /playful (C&P) to display that you have high value to the girl, and specifically have higher value than the girl. By using C&P/busting on her you show you are not intimidated by her, that you are not going to supplicate to her, and that you are fun to be around. By lightly teasing her you are communicating to her that you have higher value than she does. Don’t be nasty about it, just make it so she is challenged and stimulated by what you say.

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You are aiming to get to the emotional part of her and to amp up her emotions so she increases her “buying temperature”. I was always looking for that emotional hook into her experience when opening using my other techniques, and busting/C&P gave me a specific tool that helps quickly access that emotional part of her. These specific attraction techniques have been a useful addition to my game, and I definitely recommend them. Beware – Sticking Point Recently, the attraction game has been going so well that it has become (an enjoyable) sticking point for me in that I don’t move into rapport phase properly because I am enjoying all the attention from the girls around me on whom I am using the new attraction techniques. I get attraction from one set and other chicks start noticing me through the social proof. I bring in the new chicks and run attraction game on them until some other chicks nearby become interested. I end up with lots of chicks being interested without me ever slowing down and going into rapport phase with any particular chick. I have talked with a few other guys who have experience this SP too. I think I have a psychological need somewhere inside to get validation from people (hey nobody’s perfect!) because I feed on the attention of hot chicks and I hate giving up that glow I feel from getting all that interest. I know what is going on here, so I believe I can move past this sticking point soon. I need to internalise the fact that flowing properly from attract phase into rapport phase will allow me to get erotic attention in the bedroom, which beats the flirty-type attention without doubt. At the moment I am combining using situational openers with busting and then C&P. I’d like to get more into opinion openers because they are not something chicks are likely to have experienced much at all and so you are more easily able to go under the radar. But, without further ado, here are some field tested examples of the kinds of things I have been doing recently in attraction phase.

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Example Attraction Routines Example 1 “Aren’t you going to take your mask off, don’t you know Halloween is over, I mean you look good and everything, I love the costume, but you have to move with the times, I mean, COME ON! Halloween was LAST week, jeez you ARE behind the times. (mini-back turn here) As much as I like you and everything, I just don’t think it is going to work out between us, I need to have someone who at least knows what WEEK it is! (smile and laugh a little) (Now do a “Too Shy” Name Introduction Routine) And are you ALWAYS so shy, I mean I have been talking to you for ages and you haven’t even introduced yourself… (she’ll typically offer her name and shake hands) Well let me ask you something (insert name), you know, I really DO need to meet a girl who can cook well … can you cook (go into Push-Pull here)”

Example 2 (Halo-Girl Routine) OMG, you look such a well-behaved girl, such a nice, good girl. Oh, wait a second let me just polish your halo, it looks a little messy there (pretend to polish her invisible halo above her head for a second). There that’s better! Now you really are a perfect little halo-girl, the perfect daughter who I’m SURE never did anything wrong in her life. In fact, I am going to have to write to the Pope and make sure he puts you on the fast-track list to be made a saint.” (Typically she will deny being a good girl and you can bust her on it by getting her to name the naughtiest thing she has ever done. Tell her not to shock you TOO much) e.g. “Oh yeah, right if you are not such a good girl tell me one naughty thing you have done, in fact tell me the naughtiest, baddest thing you have ever done, no in fact don’t, I don’t think I could handle the naughtiest thing that HALO-GIRL has ever done, just make it something a LITTLE BIT bad.”

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Example 3 (walking over to a HB 4 set sitting down) “You know why this club is not a good place for meeting people? It’s because everyone is sitting down at tables and it’s hard to just walk over and talk to people. It’s much better if you want to meet people to have a place where everyone is walking around and circulating and you can just speak to people as they come past, like if see someone who you find interesting and you think “I’d like to meet him”, it’s hard to just walk over and introduce yourself to him, like people get shy and don’t want to do it, but if everyone’s just walking round it can happen really naturally. Like the other day I met these girls in a pub and they were totally too shy to even talk to a new person, jeez, what’s the world coming too …”

Analysis of Example 1 This is a situational open but in a temporal (time) sense rather than situational geographically. Because it was Halloween recently I have a ready-made opener that is relevant to my target. Temporal openers work in the same way because they are relevant to the person’s experience, the only difference is they are linked to a temporal/calander event, not an event which is happening around her. The fact that it is Halloween is not the point, really. Temporal openers can be used at any time of the year to allow busting. For example “Jeez it is my birthday tonight and you haven’t even bought me a present! I mean COME ON, I know women are supposed to be super-intuitive, so you have no excuses for not knowing my birthday!”. Or “My God! Why aren’t you dressed as Elvis tonight? Don’t you know it is his anniversary? Come on! People these days have NO respect for the king! I mean he was a legend and some people thought he was a god! And here you are wearing CIVILIAN clothes! Where is your sequinned jump-suit? Where are your shades? But hang on a minute, I’m not really sure you’re that kind of crazy, fun type of girl. You look sweet and everything, but I think you are a bit too much of a good girl for me. Oh hang on a second, let me just polish your halo (go into halo-girl routine). You’ll find every day of the year has some famous person connected with it or some organisation has sponsored that day, for example “National No Smoking Day”, “National Healthy Eating Day”, and you can bust on chicks for smoking or say to them how disappointed you are with them on today of all days ….

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The Halloween situational opener busts her on her facial qualities in a humorous way that is acceptable to her. She’ll laugh but also feel negged a little. I comment on her “costume” which is busting her on her clothes (costume is will get her thinking of Halloween again), and I accuse her of being behind the times (this works because chicks always are pressurised to be up to date and with the times, having the latest wardrobe and fashions). Even though she is not really wearing a Halloween costume the busting will have its effect on her because she is not sure whether you are just joking around with her or if you are really making a point about the clothes she is currently wearing. This kind of busting is ambiguous and allows you to convey higher value, she doesn’t know whether you are just being humorous or whether in actual fact you are commenting on her choice of wardrobe and makeup. The mini back-turn is a fake disinterest conveyor and again helps transmit your underlying higher value to her. Through your verbal communication and bodylanguage you are displaying to her that you are fun, confident, a challenge, not intimidated and that you have higher value. Just as she is perceiving your higher value, you give out a mini Indication of Interest to her by saying “As much as I like you and everything”, this allows her a moment to think she might actually have the chance to get to know you more closely, then you take it away again by saying “I just don’t think it is going to work out between us”. You then you offer a stronger chance for her to get closer to you by doing my “Too Shy” Name-Introduction Routine, where you bust on her for having talked with you for ages and she must be so shy not to have introduced herself to you. So, having displayed higher value you then start pushing her away and pulling her in a little more strongly by offering her little chances to get closer to you. The trick is to make the opportunities for her to get closer to you ever so slightly STRONGER than the pushing away. That allows you to reel her in without her realising she is being reeled in psychologically to you. If I find she needs a little more busting, I’ll often then go into the usual Push-Pull routine from Swingcat (cook, rich, TV) or do the Halo-Girl Routine. You can stack your busting and link themes to bring up topics to bust her on. If I find she is already attracted I might drop the busting and instead of busting her on whether she is a good cook I might ask her what her favourite food is and why, or might ask her what she would buy if she won the lottery (i.e. move more into rapport building techniques.

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Analysis of Example 2 This is the Halo-Girl Routine. It works on the premise of challenging her self-image. Girls are bombarded daily by advertising telling them to be sexy, independent, strong, real women. You are hi-jacking that image by suggesting she is the antithesis of all that by seeming to be a good little girl. You get her playing along with you here because it is a challenge for her to rise to and move away from AND it is playful and humorous. It is also a light neg which results in her denying that she is a good girl. Now, that is definitely the kind of mindset I want girls adopting around me when I want to get down and dirty with them. It’s so over-the-top ridiculous that you are going to write to the Pope about her she has to laugh and enjoy it. When she has denied being such a good girl and you have got her playing along with you and defending (qualifying herself) then you can go into the second part of the routine. This is where you have her tell you a naughty thing she has done. Here I am using Cialdini’s weapon of influence where you ask for something big knowing she will probably refuse it, then you make a smaller request which thus seems a lot more reasonable and acceptable to the person in comparison to the initial request. So, here we ask her to name “the baddest thing you have ever done”, then appear to change your mind, saying “I don’t think I can handle to baddest thing little halo-girl has ever done” (so busting on her again). That allows you to move to the smaller request of “just make it something a LITTLE BIT bad.”

Analysis Of Example 3 This example is begins with pacing their reality and becomes humorous and playful when they realise my description can be applied to the conversation I am having with them! Then I go into a challenge frame at the end. It starts by describing group-dynamics of how people meet each other in clubs and bars to chicks. I got this idea from the way Tyler sometimes will instruct guys as they are in mid-sarge with a chick and tell them things like “ok, we have hit buying temperature, go to rapport phase now”. In describing group dynamics to the chicks you are pacing their reality and differentiating yourself from the other guys around them. It actually is easier to meet people if you are all circulating than if you have to do an approach on chicks sitting together at a distant table.

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They soon catch on to the playfulness and humour when they realise that you are able to do the opposite of what most people are unable to do. You have pace them, allowed them to laugh at the irony of the interaction that comes from your being able to do the opposite of the restrictive norm. Then you describe what it is like for them when they see someone they want to meet. That, again will get them laughing because they know you are hinting at yourself. You have by this stage of the opener established yourself as a confident, playful and insightful person who is extremely different from the rest of the crowd. Go next into challenge busting to prompt them into giving you information to bust them on. You tell them how a lot of people are too shy to open up and you imply you disapprove by saying “jeez, what is the world coming to….” From here they will often start asking you things about yourself because they have never met someone who communicates in this way to them before. If they don’t spontaneously start asking you things, do the “Too Shy” Name Introduction Routine. Make sure to bust them on it and use the information they give in the interaction that will follow to personalise your busting. Don’t answer their questions seriously just yet because if this is a group, you’ll need to display some extra busting to get yourself super-valued in front of so many chicks (assuming they are of a reasonable standard!)

Personalised Busting I mentioned above the concept of personalised busting. I recently visited my natural PU buddy, “Natural” Mike, and I noticed what he does all the time with great success is to quickly establish himself with the chick by conveying personality, and then gather one or two pieces of information from her with which to allow him to provide her with PERSONALISED BUSTING! It’s like he has a specially-tailored busting service for girls! Here is how it works. Mike will typically open a chick and by making a cocky and playful comment about the girl herself, the environment or the situation they find themselves in together. He’ll display personality for thirty seconds to a minute, then start gathering one or two pieces of information from her about the topic he has been conveying personality about. Or he might ask her something about herself if he sees she is responding well already to the sarge.

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Quickly though, after she has answered or even as she is answering (but after she has given him some good information already on which to bust her) he will begin to use that topic and her opinion of it to bust her. This allows him to use personalised busting on her, the advantage of which is he is busting her on a topic that has special meaning and relevance to her. He makes sure to use plenty of light-hearted humour in this form of personal service to avoid her getting too annoyed. The result is that is busting is a lot more powerful than when he uses generic or canned busting techniques. Also it engages the girl in such a way that he can draw her into his reality, his way of seeing her topic and allows him to dominate her reality. Once he has established attraction he will then go to rapport phase. He does this surprisingly quickly. He often targets foreign girls because he speaks many languages and they are always happy and surprised to chat with someone in their own language. Knowing some of the girl’s language makes him immediately stand out from the crowd and allows him to create an “Our World” situation where he will laugh and bust the people of the country they both find themselves in. Mike is an English guy living in Germany and he often targets Eastern European girls, opens them in their own language and then will get her to rally with him against the German idiosyncrasies. This usually results in an “Our World” situation where the two foreigners identify with each other and are allied together in a humorous attack on their mutually foreign country. This technique could be used anywhere in the world where you find yourself in a different country with a fellow traveller.

Light and Deep Rapport Although, in the Mystery Method 7 Steps, there is a rapport (building trust and comfort) phase, I think it worth pointing out that there should be an underlying light rapport running through the sarge from the very start. It is not a case of heavily busting and then later switching on your rapport skills. With 90% of the girls out there, from the very start there should be an underlying light rapport. The busting she experiences around you ought to be fun for her. Even though you are teasing her she enjoys it. She realises it is a game, a fun way of relating to each other, and it is that enjoyment that creates a sense of good relations running beneath the busting. She must know from the very start of your busting that you are being playful. That is what I mean by light rapport and transmitting playfulness.

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Deep rapport comes later after you have conveyed higher value to her and she genuinely wants to find out more about you and get to know you on a personal level. In deep rapport phase she might start to feel connected to you, and you might begin to open up to her showing her a little of who you really are because she has worked for it and shown a real interest in finding out more about you. Within deep rapport you can have both wide and narrow rapport, as described by TD in his posts, and you should have both of these within deep rapport. In rapport phase, narrow and deep means you are really connecting and building trust and comfort on one big issue. Wide and deep means you are connecting and building trust and comfort on a variety of topics. Once you are in deep rapport you can fractionate between quite intense connecting and then stepping back, changing topics and leading her to connecting and exchanging shared experiences and thoughts on a wide range of issues. Once you are into deep rapport phase do not go back to busting. She has seen your value already from your work in the attraction stage and if she tries to go back to busting after you are in deep rapport you should shut her down and not go back to busting. It should be a case of “here I am trying to get to know you in a real way, and all you are doing is joking around with me.” You don’t even have to verbalise those thoughts if she tries to move back to busting, just show those thoughts in your nonverbal behaviour as you shut her down. Show it in your facial expression, turn your body away from her, look disappointed, cross your arms (lock yourself up). Read up on lock-up in Tyler’s posts. You could verbalise your disappointment with her if she tries to move back into busting after you have taken her into deep rapport though if you feel she needs to be hit hard. You could also use my Cocky Verbal Shut Down (CVSD) technique, which is described below.

Cocky Verbal Shut Down (CVSD) Here is something I have used on chicks for years. It can be used to stop a girl busting on you. 1. Wait a second and nod my head for a second. I try to project the NONVERBAL message that I am just humouring her a little, then look away from her. 2. While still looking away from her I say “So … (pause) …anyway…. The Tao of Stevie Part 10 – Recent Learnings

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3. Now looking back at her face to face. I say, as if searching for a topic to bring up, (ANY topic to avoid continuing the one she just finished on ) 4. “Did you see the match?” / “Did you see the Late Show?” I do this with a smile on my face. I send the non-verbal to show I know exactly what I am doing. 5. I’ll make some comment to try to pass off my change of topic in an obviously BS way to her. She knows I am BSing her just to avoid continuing on HER topic. 6. I’ll say, for example, “Oh it was a great show, they so many famous actors and singers on last night …. Like …. Erm ….. TOM CRUISE was there!” (I say this in a way that makes it totally apparent I just plucked the name Tom Cruise out of thin air.) 7. I’ll start grinning to really let on I know that she knows what I am doing. And she knows I know what I am doing. 8. If you want to move back into deep rapport phase (assuming you were already in rapport phase earlier and she tried to move back to busting) you can then link your next wide-rapport topic with the topic you used in CVSD. For example if you shut her down by mentioning the Late Show and Tom Cruise, you can then go into “And you know everyone has their favourite actors, right? I have mine for sure and I am wondering who you really like as an actor and why.” Then link those qualities she mentions as liking in an actor to your self in a pattern. The result of this CVSD is she feels negged in a humorous way. She has tried to lead the conversation and you have shut her down in a sweet and funny way, but in a way which makes her feel self-conscious. She might not know why you have shut her down, and she can’t get angry at you for doing it because you do it in such a cute way. It’s like you are faking AFC behaviour, and showing in your non-verbal that you know you are faking it. She thinks for a second you don’t have the social nuance to follow her conversation skilfully, but then you show through your non-verbal that you know exactly what you are doing.

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That conveys social skill in a big way. No one has ever done this to her before (unless he reads PU material by me) and it differentiates you from the crowd as someone who is not intimidated by her. It conveys HIGHER VALUE and allows you to move the interaction back to where you want it to be. It shows you can lead.

Dominant Reality Watching “Natural” Mike recently, I noticed how completely he dominates a girl’s reality when he is with her. In fact, he dominates everyone’s reality he is around. He is so outgoing and extroverted that he pulls you into his perception of the world and his perception of the world is exhilarating. He is very enthusiastic about life, finds passion in many subjects and has clear opinions which he can defend and can debate the topics he brings up. He has a lot of humour and playfulness running through his personality to allow him to get away with his strong opinions and you can’t but help be drawn into his experience of the world. When he opens a new girl he very quickly seems to draw her into his way of seeing the world. He dominates her reality in a way that is powerful and enjoyable. He gives her room to breathe and enjoy the exchange but he is clearly the one controlling the frame. He leads the interaction, but at the same time allows her enough space to reply and give her thoughts. As I described in the personalised busting section, he gathers information which allows her to give her thoughts but once those thoughts are offered by the chick he controls and leads the interaction clearly using that information. Any thoughts she offers are just ways of leading her closer to his agenda which is to overwhelm her in an extremely pleasurable way. Being around him is such a blast that you tend to give in and go with the flow and let him lead. He is showing you a view of the world that is exhilarating and a view that you never knew was quite possible outside of movies like Dead Poet’s Society. He has a very strong sense of internal reference. He doesn’t care what other people think of him. He gets his fun and value in life from pursuing the things that he feels passionate about and people around him are naturally drawn to his perception of the world. Having an incredibly strong frame of internal reference is powerful. The thoughts that most people have concerning what others think of them don’t even seem to register with Mike. He has a number of passions to pursue at any one time and he follows these single-mindedly. The Tao of Stevie Part 10 – Recent Learnings

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When he goes out to meet girls he talks about those passions and shares them once he has established his higher value in the opening and attraction phases. He uses a lot of humour and is out there having fun no matter what others might or might now think of him. People seem to pick up on his strong self-belief and because he is talking about subjects that he has a real passion for he comes across as totally congruent.

Facial Gestures I have wanted to describe this technique for some time but have shied away from it because non-verbal communication is so difficult to describe in words. Still, I will give it a go because it is an important part of my game and I think it is better to at least attempt to describe it perfunctorily than not to attempt at all. I modelled Mike for a long time when I lived in the same city as him and began to notice how he conveyed value through his facial gestures. He is able to show his powerful, enthusiastic state through his verbal AND non-verbal communication. His facial gestures are used to embody the state his is feeling and are congruent with the words his is using. His verbal and non-verbal communication works together to deliver the same congruent message of him being powerful, fun, authoritative, humorous, passionate, non-needy, and so on. I have managed to model this and now can convey a lot of states to the person I am interacting with. It is similar to an actor using a “show-not-tell” technique. Using your non-verbal communication, especially through facial gestures allows you to covertly influence and effect the state of your audience. The audience unconsciously recognises the state you are in, and in that unconscious recognition they begin to manifest some of that state themselves if you have some light rapport with them. Like an actor on the screen who can show his/her feelings about an issue without even having to speak a line, you are drawn into identifying with how the performer is feeling and you begin to feel some of that state yourself. If the PUA backs up that non-verbal communication with congruent verbal communication, the effects are powerful. It allows you to covertly place people into strong states without you even having to mention the state you are feeling. This ties in with how Speed Seduction says “you should go first”. When you transmit and install a state in another person using your facial gestures, body language and your tonality congruently it is all the more powerful.

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In the opening stages, the states I typically confer using facial gestures with congruent verbal language to back them up, are enthusiasm, passion, excitement, amazement and fun. As the interaction progresses and she is drawn into my reality I will phase shift and covertly convey a more seductive state in my facial and non-verbal communication. This leads the target into following along with me through her identifying unconsciously the state we are sharing. Through dominating her reality, and leading the interaction, she’ll tend to follow along with the non-verbal phase shifting and go into the states I am conveying to her non-verbally.

Evolutionary Aspects One of the benefits of using cocky and playful busting is that it allows you to convey your higher value and display an ambiguous indication of interest to the target. When you go under the radar the benefit is the girl does not know whether you are engaging her because you are a fun and friendly person, or whether you are hitting on her and are interested in her sexually. Usually, when most guys make an approach they give an indication of interest to a girl before conveying value in themselves to the girl. The girl is then forced to make a snap decision as to whether she likes the guy. Unless he is her type physically and she is overwhelmingly attracted to him right off the bat, chances are she is going to be unsure about interacting with him and might put up a bitch shield, tell him she is not interested, or ignore him. Having studied DYD, and read books on evolutionary sexual selection in humans such as The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, and The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller, the reason why going under the radar is often useful and why it works, has become clearer to me. Women are forced to be choosy in who they get involved with. They have a lot more to lose if they get pregnant from the wrong man i.e. someone who is not going to be around to help bring up the child, and they have to invest a lot more time and effort by carrying and supporting the baby from conception through to it becoming self-sufficient. Evolutionarily then, women have developed to be a lot more choosy than men. Men can have sex many times a day with different women and have little to lose and a lot to gain in terms of evolutionary development by fathering a lot of children who will be able to carry his genes. What this means in today’s world is that women generally screen men for value before deciding to have sex with them. What are they screening for? The books on evolution I have mentioned say that women are looking for men who have fitness indicators, men who seem to have good genes. Matt Ridley draws a distinction between lovers and providers and David DeAngelo brings this up in his DYD series. The Tao of Stevie Part 10 – Recent Learnings

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The men that women decide to take to bed (the lovers) are exciting, adventurous, risk-takers. The providers are dependable, nice, caring. This seems similar to the argument of “bad boy” versus “nice guy”. Ridley also states that human nature has developed in such a way that research seems to suggest it is natural for humans to form pair bonds but that these are not strictly monogamous pair bonds because a lot of sex seems to happen outside of the pair bonds. It is as if women are setting down with a provider and then occasionally taking a lover who has higher fitness indicators (signs of better genes). In terms of going under the radar this means that in order to display value and worth to the woman, the PUA needs to first get past those defences the woman will often instinctively raise to keep men out. Beautiful women are hit on so often they couldn’t possibly go out with all the men who are interested in them, so they develop shields to let guys down gently (or sometimes to shoot them down hard!). Going under the radar means you engage her in an ambiguous way so that she is not sure if you are just being friendly or if you are interested in her in a sexual way. It is considered rude to be impolite to people who are being polite and pleasant to you, so in an ambiguous situation where the woman is not sure of your motives for opening her she will tend to go along with you and not shoot you down (unless she is a bitch in which case you have done well in finding that out in the early stages of the sarge rather than having wasted lots of effort sarging her and later finding out she is a monster. Being a real bitch to you from the start is really a favour to you because you can quickly next her and avoid dealing with her nasty personality ever again). As you go under the radar and she responds because of your ambiguous communication, you begin to use attraction techniques such as cocky and playful/busting. These are vehicles for conveying your higher value to her. They are, in evolutionary terms, fitness indicators. When combined with humour, a fun attitude and social proof your perceived value to her goes up dramatically. Going under the radar gives you a foot in the door with which to game her and increase her interest in you strongly but indirectly.

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Not Hiding Agenda Busting/cocky and playful sets up a situation that is almost a role play. It is not a serious interaction. It is more like a scene from a comedy film or play. It allows you and the girls to get away with saying things you would never be able to get away with saying normally because they are too direct. For example, during busting you can move into Push-Pull and ambiguously state that you are looking to hook up with her. Because she doesn’t know if it is serious or not she will play along with it and allow you to bring up the theme of you and her being together. For example you bust her with: “You know, I don’t think it is going to work out between us, you seem too much of a nice girl to me, I mean I like you and everything but I am really looking for someone who is adventurous AND can cook great food … so tell me, can you cook?” Here you are giving a false disqualifier to convey higher value of you being the selector, then go into Push Pull to give her a chance to qualify herself to you. She will step right into the frame you have set because it is fun, girls usually like a challenge, and because it is ambiguous you can give a Statement Of Intent to set the agenda and still have her accept it because of the ambiguously humorous frame you are setting around it. Being able to give a Statement of Intent, like this, increases the speed of the sarge. Instead of having to pussy-foot around making small talk about shared interests, and hiding the fact that you want to bang her senseless, you are able to ambiguously put a frame around things where she knows you are powerful enough to say what is happening in the interaction, shows confidence, humour, and strong social skills, yet the communication is non-needy and conveys that you are the selector and that she is going to have to work to attain you and the higher worth you possess. Ambiguously stating your agenda after going under the radar and having conveyed value makes fast seduction that much faster. Recently I was with Papa in Leicester Square, London, and we sarged a group of twelve Alpha Male Other Guys (AMOGs) who had two girls with them. Papa quickly engaged a large part of the group and kept them busy while I worked on my target. I busted on her and went into Push Pull. She qualified herself to me and I told her I was going to have to marry her. She was really enjoying herself, smiling and laughing.

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I brought in one of the AMOGs and told him she and I were getting married and he was going to have to be the priest. The guy went along with it and performed an impromptu marriage ceremony in the street and I kissed the chick at the end of the ceremony. It turns out my new bride was married and the “priest” was her HUSBAND!

Using A Camera When you are out in the field, I am sure you’ll agree it is fun to photograph the girls you meet so you can look at them the next day and show your friends. There is a proper technique I’ve discover if you want to be running “solid game”. By solid game, I mean you are not going for a fool’s mate with a party chick who is looking for a good time. Solid games means you are sarging in a controlled, skilled way and that you are actively aware of where you are in the sarge and the next step you want to take in order to move the sarge forward. When I bought my mini-digital camera I was eager to take it out into the field and photo myself sarging lots of chicks, and I did. Most of the early sarge photos I took were with party chicks. I’d sarge them, perhaps make out with them and they’d pose for photos. In fact, after the production of the camera most chicks would become even more outrageous than they were already. I did not, however, run solid game on them. I was more concerned with having a blast. Later, when I took photographs of serious solid game sarges, where there was a real focus on getting sexually intimate, I found that producing the camera really could mess things up if not used properly. My realisation was that with higher level HBs the camera would make the HBs see themselves as the prize and make it seem like I was supplicating by collecting photos of hot girls. I found that the way I was using the camera was that its production made these hot chicks feel like stars again after I had worked hard to covertly show that I had a higher perceived value. The problem with the way I’d been using the camera was I’d been producing it too early. I had been using it during attraction phase and not in rapport phase. This was a mistake because I had not won the chicks over strongly enough to get away with pulling the camera out. I field tested using the camera in rapport phase, after I’d established attraction, and I found there was never any negative response. Recently I found chicks spontaneously kissing me for the photographs and they still allowed me to lead the sarge without them becoming prima-donnas again.

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I recommend not pulling out your camera too early in the sarge. Wait until you have clearly won them over and have moved into rapport phase, having built trust and comfort. If you do want to pull the camera out earlier have the CHICK take a photo of YOU! Avoid photographing her in the attract phase unless you are just out for good times with party chicks. This can work nicely as a neg if she asks you to photograph her and her friends when you respond with “I’ll take one of you later if you are a good girl, be patient, I do need a girl with patience. You aren’t one of those girls who know YOU’VE JUST GOT TO HAVE INSTANT GRATIFICATION RIGHT NOW. Come on! You need to know all good things come to those who wait.” Be ambiguously flirty if you want. Convey that you are the selector and have higher value.

Fake Gay Sometimes while I am peacocking in my New Rock boots, girls will ask me if I am gay because I am outrageously dressed and I don’t show the obvious interest in the chick that other guys do when they give their power away by leaning in (physically and/or psychologically). I experimented in pretending I was gay, but found it hard to get out of that role once I had stepped into it. If the chick did find out I was not really gay she’d get really annoyed that I’d mislead her. It’s better, I’ve found, to be ambiguous and not confirm either way if you are gay or not. This makes the girls work to find out more about you and creates intrigue about who you are. By not confirming, you have held their interest and had them pay attention to you, providing you with enough time to sarge the girl with your other techniques such as busting. A line I have used successfully recently when girls have asked if I am gay is “Come on, do you really expect me to just tell you something as personal and private as that! You are so forward, wow, are you always so pushy! Jeez, where did you learn your manners? “NoPlace?” I mean, I like you and everything, but I really do need someone who is really well-mannered. Tell me 3 things about you that would make me want to get to know you better.” Giving this kind of ambiguous answer keeps her working to get to know you and communicates that you are the selector. It builds a sense of intrigue and that you have higher value, then offers her a chance to qualify herself to you.

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Mind-reading I began studying mind-reading for sarging purposes earlier this year and learned a few tried and trusted techniques. I learned how to guess a girl’s birthday with her only thinking of the date in her mind. I learned how to guess the name of a special friend she is thinking of fondly and link that person to me. I learned how to send the name of a person known to me into the head of the girl. I decided to study these techniques because I thought they’d help me to create massive intrigue and attraction very fast. When I went out and tried these in field I found they worked to get attention from the girls but they saw me more as a performing clown, someone who was entertaining but who did not attract them. This was because I was using magic techniques at the wrong stage of the sarge. I was relying far too much on the mind-reading to create the attraction for me but it didn’t work out like that. Your attraction game should come from your social skills not through gimmicks. Gimmicks can be vehicles for allowing you to demonstrate your social ability, but gimmicks should not be used a replacements for this. After some experimenting I found it much better to use mind-reading in the rapport phase. When used in attraction phase, the chicks seemed to intuit I was using mindreading as a substitute for displaying value through my personality or social skills. When used in rapport phase after isolation, the mind-reading techniques seem to work as a consolidation that she has chosen a man who is exceptional. In attract phase she begin to appreciate how special you are through your conveyance of higher value, then in rapport phase, as you build comfort and trust, the mind-reading helps back up that idea that you are someone special.

Long-Term State Management It is important to do what it takes to be consistent in your learning with these skills. I realised that there are very few short cuts and that going out into the field to try things out is the only way to get really good. Let me give you the analogy of dieting. Consider the crash dieter who tries to control his/her weight by not eating much at all, by being picky in the extreme in what to eat, and gets no joy from their life. Everything has become a battle to lose weight, and this has become the allconsuming mission. Sooner or later what tends to happen is they revolt against the program they have been forcing themselves to follow and they pig-out on all the bad foods they have been secretly craving. Their weight goes right back up and they are back to where they started from. The Tao of Stevie Part 10 – Recent Learnings

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The person with a balanced diet and a generally healthy lifestyle has reached a point where they are not forcing themselves to avoid all those sugary and fatty foods because they want to lose weight for some reason. They avoid those foods because the person they are or have become simply doesn’t consider those foods anymore as being part of their life. The balanced eater might now and then have a sugary food without guilt because he/she knows the diet being followed is so good overall, the little bit of “bad” food will hardly register on their system. They don’t even think of themselves as dieting, they just think of healthy eating because that is the way they live their life. In the case with long-term state management, the crash dieter is the sarger who is getting annoyed at rejection, who gets frustrated easily and so on. Perhaps he is not able to set long-term goals or be able to look at his behaviour objectively in order to observe what is happening and to try an alternative course of action. The balanced eater is the sarger with good long-term state management. He is able to control any urges for instant gratification, is able to take an objective step back when things don’t quite go according to plan, and is willing to do what it takes to assure he is in control of his state through a program of studying, sarging and keeping his power for himself. To allow others to negatively influence your state is a recipe for disaster because you are handing control of your happiness over to someone else. Be a healthy eater and a healthy sarger!

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