Soho Cinders Libretto Vocal Book Jw June 2015 - Perusal
February 24, 2017 | Author: Dan Smith ッ | Category: N/A
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SOHO CINDERS
an urban musical fable Music by Lyrics by Book by
GEORGE STILES
ANTHONY DREWE
ANTHONY DREWE and ELLIOT DAVIS
LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK
Josef Weinberger
SOHO CINDERS © Copyright 2015 by George Stiles, Anthony Drewe and Elliot Davis Edition © Copyright 2015 by Josef Weinberger Ltd., London All Rights Reserved PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL
Applications to perform this work must be made, BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to: JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED 12 - 14 Mortimer Street London W1T 3JJ United Kingdom Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616 www.josef-weinberger.com
This edition: June 2015
SOHO CINDERS Cast NARRATOR
ROBBIE – A young man VELCRO – a young single mum, Robbie's best friend LORD BELLINGHAM – An industrial tycoon CLODAGH / DANA – Robbie's ugly stepsisters JAMES PRINCE – A London Mayoral candidate MARILYN PLATT – James' fiancée WILLIAM GEORGE – James' tyrannical campaign manager SASHA – William's assistant SIDESADDLE – Westminster bike hire manager, Robbie and Velcro's friend
ENSEMBLE Photographers, Crowd, Launderette Customers, Party Guests, Members of the Press, etc.
Musical Numbers
ACT ONE
1.
Old Compton Street (Velcro, Robbie, Clodagh & Dana, Ensemble)
2.
Wishing For The Normal (Velcro, Robbie)
2a.
Wishing For The Normal – Scene Change (Instrumental)
3.
Spin (James, William, Sasha, Ensemble)
4.
Gypsies Of The Ether (Robbie, James)
4a.
Gypsies Of The Ether – Tag (James, Robbie)
5.
I'm So Over Men (Dana, Clodagh)
5a.
I'm So Over Men – Reprise (Dana, Clodagh)
6.
Remember Us (Marilyn, James)
6a.
Old Compton Street – Reprise (Lord Bellingham)
7.
It's Hard To Tell (Velcro, Robbie, Ensemble)
7a.
It's Hard To Tell – Fade (Instrumental)
8.
You Shall Go To The Ball (Velcro, Sidesaddle, Dana, Clodagh,
Lord Bellingham, Robbie, Marilyn, William, James, Ensemble)
ACT TWO
9.
Entr'acte (Ensemble)
10.
Who's That Boy? (Ensemble, William, Clodagh, Dana, Marilyn)
11.
Glass Slippers (Robbie)
11a. Spin – Reprise (Marilyn) 11b.
Underscore into The Tail That Wags (Instrumental)
12.
The Tail That Wags The Dog (William, Sasha, Ensemble)
13.
Let Him Go (Velcro, Marilyn)
13a. Wishing For The Normal – Reprise (Velcro) 13b. Remember Us – Reprise (James, Marilyn) 14.
Fifteen Minutes (Clodagh, Dana, Ensemble)
15.
Finale (Marilyn, Robbie, James, Velcro)
16.
Bows (Company)
17.
Playout (Instrumental)
Soho Cinders
1
SOHO CINDERS ACT ONE SCENE ONE – Old Compton Street A soundscape of London noises – taxis, buses, crowds. Musical intro to ’Old Compton Street’ starts. The sound of our Narrator’s voice is heard for the first time. Narrator
Old Compton Street, Soho. That promiscuous potpourri. That metropolitan munificence. That glittering back passage. It’s 7pm on a fairly ordinary Spring evening. Theatregoers rub shoulders with prostitutes. Local businessman, on their way home, are having one last drink as they collide with a younger crowd arriving for their first.
(The Company start to assemble.)
Velcro, a young single mum, is making her way back to the launderette where she works.
Music No. 1 – OLD COMPTON STREET Velcro JOIN THE PARTY ON OLD COMPTON STREET FEEL THE PAVEMENT THROB BENEATH YOUR FEET TAKE A SEAT, WATCH THE SHOW NOTHING’S NORMAL ON OLD COMPTON STREET DRESS INFORMAL AS YOU JUMP ABOARD, STEP INSIDE URGES WILL BE SATISFIED HERE WHERE LIFE IS SWEET OLD COMPTON STREET Ensemble Solo Girl LIFE’S A CIRCUS ON OLD COMPTON STREET PUNKS AND ROCKERS AND THE RICH ELITE DRINK AND EAT, SIDE BY SIDE
Act One
2
Two Girls & One Boy FUN’S CONTAGIOUS ON OLD COMPTON STREET IT’S OUTRAGEOUS THERE ARE BOYS FOR BOYS BOYS FOR GIRLS BOYS FOR OLD MEN WEARING PEARLS All Ensemble NO-ONE’S OBSOLETE OLD COMPTON STREET Narrator
(Out front.) Elsewhere, Velcro’s best friend, Robbie, emerges from the doorway of a posh restaurant.
Robbie
That was lovely.
Lord Bellingham Are you sure you won’t come for a drink? Robbie
Sorry, I’ve got to get to work.
Lord Bellingham People’s washing can wait. Robbie
Yeah, but my rent won’t.
Lord Bellingham Let me help you out. (He produces a wad of banknotes from his pocket.) Robbie
George, please – you just bought me dinner.
Lord Bellingham It gives me pleasure. Will you allow me that? Robbie (Reluctantly.) Thank you. Lord Bellingham So, when will I see you? Robbie
You’ve got my number. Just call.
(Lord Bellingham kisses Robbie on the cheek. Robbie make his way towards the launderette.)
Lord Bellingham (Under his breath.) Oh, Robbie.
Soho Cinders
Robbie (with Ensemble hums) WITHIN THIS MELTING POT SOME HAVE AND SOME HAVE NOT A PIZZA BASE YOU STUMBLE UPON WITH EVERYTHING ON All EVERY FLAVOUR Robbie & Ensemble TRY A SLICE OF LIFE OLD COMPTON STREET SEE THE FLIES THAT SWARM AROUND THE MEAT TRICK OR TREAT All WHO CAN SAY? Narrator
In the flat above the launderette, Dana and Clodagh appear in a window. They are sisters. They are ugly . . .
(Clodagh and Dana start throwing Robbie’s possessions out of the window.) Robbie
Hey, hey . . . what are you doing?
Clodagh Heads! (She drops a cardboard box.) Robbie
That’s my stuff.
(Robbie starts searching in the box.)
Dana
We’ve changed the locks. You’re evicted.
Robbie
But it’s my flat. Where’s Mum?
Dana
Just on her way down.
(Dana produces an urn containing Robbie’s mother’s ashes.)
3
Act One
4
Dana Heads! Robbie
Don’t you dare! Lucky me having stepsisters like you. Twins. Not identical but equally unpleasant. You can’t do this?
Clodagh
We just have. And we’re getting it fumigated. We don’t want to catch gay.
Dana
And that’s not all. When Dad gets out of prison he wants the launderette back too.
Clodagh
But until then you’ve got to keep paying.
Dana
Ooh, what was that?
Clodagh What? Dana
I just felt the rent creeping up.
Robbie
But the launderette was Mum’s.
Clodagh
Yes it was. But it’s not anymore is it? (To the urn.) Because silly Mummy didn’t leave a will, or had you forgotten?
Dana
He’d forget his balls if they weren’t in a bag. Heads!
(She drops the urn into Robbie’s outstretched hands.) Clodagh & Dana PICK YOUR POISON ON OLD COMPTON STREET GIRLS AND BOYS ON SHOW AND GAY OR STRAIGHT OR STILL UNSURE EVERY TASTE IS CATERED FOR All HERE WHERE ALL WORLDS MEET OLD COMPTON STREET Narrator
There’s a commotion outside The Prince Edward Theatre where Adele Darzeen is starring in “Frozen 5 – the Frigid Fanny.” James Prince, a London Mayoral candidate, and his fiancée Marilyn Platt arrive at the theatre.
Soho Cinders
William
Here they are, right on cue.
Sasha (As Big Issue Seller.) Big Issue. Big Issue. (William, the Mayoral campaign manager approaches the Big Issue Seller and moves her into a doorway.) William
Here might be a better position.
(A Press Photographer squeezes past.) Sasha (As Big Issue Seller.) Big Issue, Big Issue.
(William deliberately steers James towards the Big Issue Seller.)
James
Damn. I haven’t got any change. But here’s a fiver.
(A camera flashes as the Press Photographer gets his picture. James and Marilyn enter the theatre with a parting wave to the crowd.) William
Job done.
Crowd WE LOVE TO SPOT CELEBRITIES AND NOBODY CAN BLAME US THOUGH ALL TOO OFTEN WE FORGET THE REASON WHY THEY’RE FAMOUS BUT ROLLING THE RED CARPET OUT IS BOUND TO CAUSE A BUZZ AND THEN WE STOP AND RUBBERNECK COS EVERYBODY DOES All CATCH THE RHYTHM OF OLD COMPTON STREET WHERE THE BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS TURN UP THE HEAT POUND THE BEAT, NO HOLDS BARRED Robbie (with Ensemble hums) ALL CITIES HAVE THE SAME ONE STREET THAT KNOWS NO SHAME
5
Act One
6
A BRIGHT FACADE WHOSE SURFACE IS THIN BUT HARD AS A NAIL All SCRATCH IT AND SNIFF BUT NEVER INHALE HEADS ARE TURNING ON OLD COMPTON STREET Velcro OLD COMPTON STREET All EARS ARE BURNING WHILE THE ENDLESS STREAM PASSES BY RAINBOW FLAGS ARE FLYING HIGH TRY A SLICE OF LIFE, Sidesaddle / Velcro TRY A SLICE OF LIFE, All EVERY VICE IS RIFE Sidesaddle / Velcro EVERY VICE IS RIFE All HERE WHERE ALL WORLDS MEET OLD COMPTON STREET
SCENE TWO – Inside ’Sit and Spin’ Narrator
Velcro is working in the launderette, ’Sit and Spin’. Surrounded by stacked washing machines and tumble dryers she “multitasks” – folding clothes whilst chatting to her friend, a Westminster bike rental manager known affectionately as "Sidesaddle".
(Velcro holds up a tiny item of child’s clothing.)
Velcro
Ah, that’s so sweet.
Soho Cinders
Sidesaddle
Sweet but expensive. They grow out of them so quick.
Velcro
Seems like only yesterday Becky was this size. Hey, I could bring you in some of her old stuff if you don’t mind handmedowns.
Sidesaddle
Mind? I’d love it. Now how much do I owe you for this lot.
Velcro
That’ll be eight fifty.
(Sidesaddle rummages in her pockets.)
Sidesaddle
Damn, that’s going to wipe me out. I’m gonna need a couple more rides in my rickshaw. (Offers her some coins.)
7
Velcro (Sympathetically.) Oh, Sidesaddle. Sidesaddle
Can I give you the rest later?
(Robbie enters the launderette carrying a large cardboard box.)
Robbie
Don’t worry about it – for you it’s half price.
(Sidesaddle picks up her laundry and kisses Robbie. Robbie dumps the box on the ground, then exits again.) Sidesaddle
Thanks, Rob. I owe you. Have they opened Frith Street yet? They’d shut the road. By the theatre.
Velcro
Oh for that James Prince! That Mayor guy.
Robbie
(Re-entering with a suitcase.) He’s not Mayor yet. D’you know, I used to have a poster of him by my bed, when he was a swimmer?
Sidesaddle
Lovely. Just imagine waking up next to that. I’ll see you later.
(Sidesaddle exits.)
Velcro
Hey what’s all this?
Robbie (Collecting another item from outside.) They’ve kicked me out.
Act One
8
Velcro Who? Robbie
Dumb and dumber. Can I stay with you for a bit?
Velcro
’Course you can. You know how Becky loves you.
Robbie
Just till I get myself sorted.
(He carefully places his mother’s urn on a shelf.)
And that’s not all. They’ve put the rent up on this place.
Velcro
This whole thing with Les makes me sick. It was your Mum’s launderette. It would’ve gone under if it wasn’t for us. Of course she’d have left it to you, but . . .
Robbie
. . . the lawyer said there’s no Will. So it’s my step-father’s. End of.
Velcro
Well they can’t just put the rent up.
Robbie
Who’s to stop them? And when he gets out of the nick he wants the whole place back anyway.
Velcro
Great! So where are we gonna go?
Robbie
Well you could go back to Staines.
Velcro
You ’avin a laugh?
Robbie
There are worse places.
Velcro
I spent half me life trying to get out of Staines, and now here I am in a launderette trying to get stains out.
Robbie
You don’t have to work in Soho.
Velcro
It’s the dirtiest place in the world. The sheets that come in here are so full of bodily fluids I could wring ’em out and start a fertility clinic.
Robbie
Mum knew what she was doing when she opened this place.
Soho Cinders
Velcro
I miss her you know. It was so hard when she didn’t really remember me . . . not at the end.
Robbie
She was an angel. Till Les clipped her wings.
Velcro
Well what we need right now is a fairy godmother.
(Robbie takes the cash Bellingham gave him from his pocket.)
Where’d you get that money from? You still seeing that guy?
Robbie
Yes and no.
9
Velcro Which? Robbie
It’s complicated.
Velcro
He must be loaded. Don’t screw this one up. Has he got a brother? Without the gay gene?
Robbie
Don’t sound so desperate! Mr. Right will come along someday ’Cro. If I was straight I’d go out with you like a shot.
Velcro
If I’d have you. Nah, ain’t gonna happen, fag hag to the West End, that’s me. How hard can it be? I just want to settle down.
Robbie
Ditto. We share the same dream. I just want to wake up beside the same man for the next thirty years.
Music No. 2 – WISHING FOR THE NORMAL Velcro
So do I. Someone to tell me I’m doing alright.
Robbie
Someone to tell me when I’m being a twat.
Velcro
You’re being a twat.
Robbie
Yeah, but not you.
Velcro
I’ve never wanted a lot. Just my own special someone. And a father for Becky.
Act One
10
Velcro JUST IMAGINE POURING YOUR CORNFLAKES LOOKING UP AND SOMEONE’S THERE SOMEONE YOU HAVE JUST SPENT THE NIGHT WITH SOMEONE’S LIFE YOU’RE PROUD TO SHARE HAVEN’T PUT MY FACE ON HAVEN’T DONE MY HAIR HAVEN’T HAD TO WORRY AS IT’S HIM STANDING THERE Robbie JUST IMAGINE OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR TURNING ROUND AND THERE HE IS IT’S YOUR MAN – THE ONE YOU CAME IN WITH THREE YEARS ON, YOUR HAND IN HIS LIVING IN A SEMI MAYBE HAVE A CAT NOTHING THAT’S TOO FANCY TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT Both WISHING FOR THE NORMAL KIND OF DREAM NOTHING TOO EXCESSIVE OR EXTREME HOPING FOR THE HUMDRUM – IS THAT AIMING HIGH? OTHERS SEEM TO FIND IT TELL ME WHY ON EARTH CAN’T I? WISHING FOR THE NORMAL KIND OF DREAM TROUBLE IS THEY’RE HARDER THAN THEY SEEM AM I TOO AMBITIOUS? AM I OUT OF TOUCH? AM I WISHING FOR TOO MUCH?
(Robbie’s phone rings. His face lights up.)
Velcro
Who is it?
Robbie
It’s him! Hello . . .
Velcro
Ask about the brother.
Soho Cinders
Robbie
Shush! No not you. I’m just at work. Yeah sure. I’d love to. Usual time. By the lions. Alright. Go. Go . . .
(Robbie hangs up.)
Velcro
By the lions! What is he a zoo keeper?
Robbie
’Cro, Leave it.
Velcro
I never knew zookeepers earned that much.
Robbie
You’ll meet him when the time is right.
Velcro
Feeding time?
Robbie
Cro! Leave it!
Velcro
You really like him don’t you?
Robbie
Yes. I really like him. It’s just so hard.
Velcro
Spare me the details!
Robbie
I mean it’s hard to get together. He’s so busy – it’s texts. It’s Skype. Then when I do see him, I just want more . . .
JUST IMAGINE COOKING LASAGNE LIKE THOSE ADVERTS ON TV Velcro SITTING ON OUR FAKE-LEATHER SOFA BABIES BOUNCING ON MY KNEE Robbie LIVING WITHIN REASON LOVING WHEN I CAN FEELING I AM SOMEONE NOT SOME SAD ALSO RAN Velcro JUST IMAGINE MOWING THE LAWN Robbie JUST IMAGINE POPPING SOME CORN
11
12
Act One
Velcro JUST IMAGINE BREAKFAST IN BED Robbie JUST IMAGINE OWNING A SHED Velcro JUST IMAGINE DOING THE SCHOOL RUN Robbie GOING FOR PICNICS Velcro KEEPING A GOLDISH Both WISHING WISHING HOPING FOR THE HUMDRUM – IS THAT AIMING HIGH? OTHERS SEEM TO FIND IT TELL ME WHY OH WHY OH WHY CAN’T I? WISHING FOR THE NORMAL KIND OF DREAM TROUBLE IS THEY’RE HARDER THAN THEY SEEM Velcro GOING TO A NIGHTCLUB CINEMAS AND SUCH Robbie EATING IN NICE RESTAURANTS HAPPY TO GO DUTCH Both AM I TOO AMBITIOUS? AM I OUT OF TOUCH? AM I WISHING FOR TOO MUCH? Robbie JUST IMAGINE CLEANING THE VOLVO Velcro JUST IMAGINE PLANTING A ROSEBUSH
Soho Cinders
13
Robbie JUST IMAGINE HAVING A MORTGAGE Velcro JUST IMAGINE KEEPING A GOLDFISH Robbie
A goldfish?
Velcro
Yeah. I won one once. At a funfair. Throwing ping pong balls in a jam jar.
Robbie
You saddo.
Music No. 2 – WISHING FOR THE NORMAL – SCENE CHANGE
SCENE THREE – James Prince’s campaign headquarters Narrator
The campaign headquarters of James Prince is a hive of activity, and above the madness James’ campaign manager, the tyrannical William George, holds court. William and Sasha are reading a paper.
William
Not a bad piece on page 5 – “The Prince And The Pauper”. I love that Editor – last week I threatened to chop his balls off, this week we’re picking out curtains together in Laura Ashley.
(James and Marilyn enter carrying a copy of the same paper.)
James
Don’t I look a bit smug?
(James then notices Sasha.)
You! The Big Issue seller?
William
Ah, James, meet my new assistant, Tea.
James Tea? Sasha
Hi, it’s Sasha. He calls me Tea . . .
Act One
14
William
Or to give her her full name. Tea, milk and two sugars. Hyphenated.
Marilyn Unbelievable. James (Turning on William.) I thought we agreed . . . William
Look. (Holding up paper.) You. Helping the homeless. Page 5. That’s all the matters.
James (To William.) I’ll have my fiver back! William (To Sasha.) Give it to him, Tea. (James gestures to Sasha to forget it.)
Job description is Campaign Manager. Let me manage. I know what I’m doing.
James
If you say so.
William
I don’t say so, I know so. I don’t think, I do. Page 5 is pretty good for a piece like that. Now we just have to fill in the pages in between – Marilyn, I don’t suppose you’d consider a page 3?
Marilyn
Very funny! As if anyone would be interested in my old carcass.
(Marilyn looks to James expecting him to refute this, but he doesn’t until she prompts him.)
Hey!
James
Well I am.
William
There speaks the politician. Tea. Schedule. Now.
Sasha
William, please. No more. It’s Sasha. You’re on the Good Morning Britain sofa at 9.00am. Then 12 noon London Fire Brigade.
Soho Cinders
15
William
Good. Hang out with heroes makes you look tough. Ooh, and there’ll be a pole. Marilyn – pole dancing opp.
Marilyn
Misogynistic, sexist and insulting. You should have a lie down.
William
Tea, fancy a lie down?
Marilyn
I’m a lawyer. One word. Tribunal.
Sasha
I’m alright.
Marilyn (To James.) I’m due in Chambers. I’ll see you later. William (As Marilyn exits.) Think about what we said. Maybe have a Brazilian.
(Marilyn ignores William and leaves. William calls after her.)
You can’t do Page 3 looking like a privet hedge.
James
William, page 5 is all well and good. But what if someone finds out that the person I was photographed with actually works for us.
William
It’s all publicity.
James
How we run the campaign reflects how we will run City Hall. I don’t want anything to be fake.
William
You’re not doing it. I am. That’s the difference. It’s not my job to keep clean – it’s my job to make sure you are London’s next Mayor.
James
That poster slogan reflects how I want to run London. With honesty.
Music No. 3 – SPIN William
James . . .
James
We’ll talk on the way.
16
Act One
James HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH HONEST? HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH SIMPLE TRUTH PLAIN TALKING – THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE WANT SINCE WHEN DID DECENCY BECOME OLD-FASHIONED HIDDEN BY A SMOKE SCREEN OF CLICHE? I PROMISED THAT I’D PLAY IT STRAIGHT BUZZ WORDS WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT I INTEND TO WIN THE RACE IN MY OWN WAY William
They all think they can do it on their own.
James HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH HONEST? HOW CAN YOU GIVE WAY TO LIES AND SLEAZE? I ASK YOU – WHAT IS THERE TO GAIN? AND WHO MADE ARROGANCE A JOB REQUIREMENT FOR THE PUBLIC SERVANTS WE ELECT? WHO THINK THAT ONCE IN CITY HALL SOMEHOW THEY’RE ABOVE IT ALL I THINK LONDONERS DESERVE FAR MORE RESPECT William AT THE END OF THE DAY IT’S ALL ABOUT A CROSS IN A BOX YOU MAY BE THE OARSMAN BUT REMEMBER I’M THE COX I’LL STEER YOU TO VICT’RY THROUGH ALL THE BIG DEBATES DOWN STREAM THAT DREAM OFFICE AWAITS Sasha & Office Workers SPIN SPIN OUT OF CONTROL SIGN THE PAPERWORK AND SELL YOUR SOUL SPIN DOCTOR EVERY WORD YOU SAY SPIN UNTIL YOU WIN THE DAY Narrator
With that, and a modicum of tastefully applied make-up for the cameras, James is off to the TV studios for another round
Soho Cinders
17
of gruelling interviews from a variety of forgettable presenters sitting on an array of tasteless sofas which go some way to explain why DFS has a sale on every day of the year. James HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH HONEST? HOW CAN YOU CONDONE TURNING BLIND EYES? I PROMISE MINE WILL LOOK AHEAD AND WHEN WAS AVARICE DECREED AN ART FORM? I’LL ENSURE CORRUPTION IS STAMPED OUT BUT ISSUES LIKE THESE HAVE TO WAIT VOTERS MUST FIRST CHOSE MY FATE BUT AS MAYOR OF LONDON WILL I HAVE THE CLOUT? William AT THE END OF THE DAY IT’S ALL ABOUT A CROSS IN A BOX CREATE OPPORTUNITY, DON’T WAIT UNTIL IT KNOCKS WE’RE BUILDING YOUR PROFILE ENHANCE IT IN THE PRESS GREAT QUOTES EARN VOTES, INSTANT SUCCESS Ensemble SPIN SPIN AT EVERY TURN COMMON DECENCY CAN CRASH AND BURN SPIN KEEP THAT IMAGE CLEAN AND SLICK MAKE SURE THAT THE DIRT CAN’T STICK . . . Narrator
William receives a phone call from one of the main sponsors of the Mayoral campaign, industry tycoon Lord Bellingham.
(William takes a call on his mobile.)
Lord Bellingham William, I’m looking at this guest list. This fundraiser is not just about you squeezing money out of people, it’s about having the right people there who you can squeeze in the future. William
And . . .
Act One
18
Lord Bellingham And you and I may not share the same idea about who is the right sort of person. My money, my office, my guest list. Agreed? William Agreed. Lord Bellingham Last push before the nominations close. The people at this ’do’ could make or break this campaign. William & Ensemble SPIN SPIN OUT OF CONTROL SIGN THE PAPERWORK AND SELL YOUR SOUL SPIN DOCTOR EVERY WORD YOU SAY SPIN UNTIL YOU WIN THE DAY SELL YOUR SOUL, IT’S GONNA PAY SPIN A WEB FOR IN A WEB THE SPIDER WILL ENSNARE HIS PREY William SPIN UNTIL YOU WIN THE DAY Ensemble SPIN, SPIN, SPIN (It’s the end of day, James goes to leave.) William
Oy, it’s not a 9 to 5, where do you think you’re going? Photo shoot.
James
Shit. Alright I’ll be there. Give me a minute.
(William stands there.)
. . . Alone!
(William exits. James takes out his mobile and dials.)
(Into phone.) Hi. It’s me. Look. Really sorry. I’m going to be late. Just text me back to say you’re okay, okay? Ah, too many “okays”. Look just text me.
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19
SCENE FOUR – Beside a lion’s paw in Trafalgar Square Narrator
It is 9pm. The crowds and the pigeons in Trafalgar Square have begun to disperse. Nelson and his four lions stand proudly, guarding the entrance to the Mall. Robbie is found beside one of the lion’s paws.
(Having just listened to a phone message Robbie starts to write a text.)
Music No. 4 – GYPSIES OF THE ETHER Robbie DOESN’T IT SEEM STRANGE TALKING IN THIS WAY GYPSIES OF THE ETHER TYPING WHAT WE SAY SECRETIVE LIAISONS FLIRTING ON THE SCREEN BUILDING UP A PICTURE IN WHICH NO-ONE CAN BE SEEN BOLD ENOUGH TO SHARE MY INNER THOUGHTS AND WHAT I FEEL SAFELY IN THE KNOWLEDGE I CAN CHOOSE JUST HOW MUCH I REVEAL (We see a crowd of people in the Square. Our attention is drawn to Lord Bellingham as he crosses. He is on the phone.) Robbie YOU ARE MY INTIMATE STRANGER YOU ARE MY FAR AWAY FRIEND TWO SOULS LINKED BY A HIGHWAY AND THE MESSAGES WE SEND
(Robbie slumps dejectedly against a lion’s paw. We hear (but don’t see) another voice start to sing.)
James NOBODY GETS HURT MEETING IN THIS PLACE GYPSIES OF THE ETHER WANDERERS IN SPACE
Act One
20
(As the crowd parts, James Prince is revealed in casual clothes. He is wearing a hoodie with the hood up whilst typing on an iPad . . . ) James KEEPING OURSELVES HIDDEN SAFE BEHIND THE FONT FREE OF INHIBITION WE CAN BE JUST WHO WE WANT MAYBE FOR A MOMENT I BELIEVE THIS FANTASY SOMEONE IN THE ABSTRACT I CREATE BUT IN LIFE I CAN’T BE YOU ARE MY INTIMATE STRANGER YOU ARE MY FAR AWAY FRIEND TWO SOULS LINKED BY A HIGHWAYS AND THE MESSAGES WE SEND (Having now made eye contact with one another, James and Robbie are clearly waiting for the last of the crowd to leave before approaching one another.) Both YOU ARE MY INTIMATE STRANGER YOU ARE MY FAR AWAY FRIEND TWO SOULS LINKED BY A HIGHWAY AND THE MESSAGES AND THE MESSAGES AND THE MESSAGES WE SEND (The underscore crescendos as Robbie runs into James’ arms. They kiss.) Both DOESN’T IT SEEM STRANGE MEETING IN THIS WAY GYPSIES OF THE ETHER James
A week without you seems like forever.
Robbie
Well, a week’s a long time in politics. So, how long do you have?
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21
James Now? Robbie
No, before you die! Of course now.
James
This is just a quick hello.
Robbie
Yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. Anyone would think you were running for Mayor. I just want to . . . squdge you.
James Squdge? Robbie
Wendy does it to Peter Pan.
James
Oh that is gay.
Robbie
I thought you didn’t like that word.
James
I don’t like labels.
(Robbie’s phone rings.)
Don’t answer it.
Robbie
Like you wouldn’t.
(Robbie takes the call.)
Cro, you know I can’t talk now . . . not another one. Okay, I’ll sort it.
(He hangs up.) (To James.) Sorry, it’s a work thing. James
How’s that going?
Robbie
Ugh, not good. Another machine’s gone down. That’s gonna cost.
James
I can always help.
Robbie
I don’t want your money.
Act One
22
James (Slightly taken aback.) Okay, I was just . . . Robbie
Leave it.
(James’ phone rings.)
(Mimicking James.) “Don’t answer it”.
(James gives him a look but answers the phone.)
James
Hello Darling . . . just getting some air . . . oh, okay . . . no, I haven’t eaten . . . sorry, not distracted I was just deep in (Looks at Robbie who mimes a loveheart.) . . . thought. Chinese? . . . I’ll pick it up. Thirty minutes.
Robbie
The Leader of the Opposition. “How’s that going? I can always help . . . ”
Music No. 4a – GYPSIES OF THE ETHER – TAG James
Oh, Robbie. (Beat.) Look, you heard . . .
(James hugs Robbie.)
Robbie (Breaking the hug.) You’ve got to go. James
Couple of days?
Robbie
Couple of days. Go.
James YOU ARE MY INTIMATE STRANGER YOU ARE MY FAR AWAY FRIEND James & Robbie TWO SOULS LINKED BY A HIGHWAY James AND THE MESSAGES Robbie AND THE MESSAGES
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23
Both AND THE MESSAGES WE SEND
SCENE FIVE – Inside "Glam-Amour" Narrator
Clodagh and Dana are discovered inside Glam-Amour, the strip club they run next door to Robbie’s launderette. Having returned from a night out on what I understand is known as “the lash”, they are removing what I also understand are known as “their lashminas”. In the garish light of day they look particularly unglamorous.
Clodagh
Did you hear that?
Dana What? Clodagh (Referring to the Narrator.) I’m hearing voices. Dana What? Clodagh
Some posh git. Probably queer.
Narrator
But filthy rich and rather well-endowed.
Dana Whatever. Clodagh
Eurgh! I’ve got a tongue like Ghandi’s flip flop. I need a drink.
Dana
Look at the state of this place.
Clodagh
Yeah, but when Les is out we’ll get the launderette. Planning permission will be no prob. We can knock through. Expand. Go up market.
Dana
It’s a strip club.
Clodagh
Alright down market, but bigger.
Dana
You’ve gotta dream ’aven’t you? Anyways. Last night. How’d you get on? I saw you nearly had his tonsils out.
Act One
24
Clodagh
I thought I’d found it. I thought I’d found it. Everything we’ve been looking for in a bloke.
Dana
What well hung and mute?
Clodagh
Not exactly but I tell you, I thought this was it.
Dana Well? Clodagh Married. Dana Bastard. Clodagh
He gave me this whole sob story about his wife being in a wheelchair and he wasn’t getting any. So he says, she’s away and would I like to go back to his place. Not been there five minutes when I hear a car pull up.
Dana
The spazzy wife?
Clodagh
Exactly. "My wife!" he goes. I said, "I thought she was away?" He says. "She was." Then I hear footsteps, not wheels, on the front path.
Dana Unbelievable. Clodagh
So I says, "I thought she was in a wheelchair, where’s she been – frigging Lourdes?" Next thing, I’m being bundled out of the back door and had to find a cab home.
Dana
You’re like a bowling ball, you.
Clodagh
Bowling ball?
Dana
Yeah, picked up, fingered, thrown back down the alley.
Music No. 5 – I’M SO OVER MEN Clodagh
I tell you, I’m getting too old for this game. Too many disappointments.
Dana
Maybe we should give ’em up altogether.
Soho Cinders
(During the course of the song Dana and Clodagh collect up an unlikely load of laundry: G-strings, boob tubes, suspender belts, sequin vests etc. They place them all in JD Sports bag.)
Dana I WISH THEY’D INVENT A NICORETTE PATCH TO HELP ME GIVE UP MEN JUST SLAP IT ON YOUR CRAVINGS ARE GONE BUT HOW WOULD I FILL MY DAYS THEN? IT’S ALWAYS THE WRONG MR RIGHT WHO SUDDENLY LANDS IN MY LAP THEY’RE SHITS WHO PASS IN THE NIGHT FALLING IN LOVE IS CRAP A LOAD OF OLD BULL FAREWELL TO NIGHTS ON THE PULL I’M SO OVER MEN I DON’T NEED A GUY AND AS FOR THE SEX THERE’S ALWAYS DIY SOME SEEM HOT TILL THE RUMPY PUMP STARTS THEN THEY’RE NOT WORTH THE SUM OF THEIR PARTS LIE ON YOUR BACK TRY LOOKING IMPRESSED FAKE IT AND SCREAM "YOU’RE THE BEST" I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN I’M SO OVER MEN Clodagh I WISH I COULD JOIN AN ANONYMOUS GROUP REHAB TO GIVE UP MEN JUST SAY YOUR NAME FACE UP TO THE SHAME CONFESS YOU’VE BEEN SHAGGING AGAIN THEN MAYBE I’LL FIND I HAVE STRENGTHS AWAY FROM THE RAGES AND RANTS
25
Act One
26
OF GUYS WHO DON’T GO TO GREAT LENGTHS FALLING IN LOVE IS PANTS FROM NOW ON IT’S CLEAR I’LL HAVE A SOLO CAREER I’M SO OVER MEN BRAGGING THEY’RE TOP NOTCH TALKING THROUGH THEIR ARSE THINKING WITH THEIR CROTCH HOW I DREAD EACH FAMILIAR SIGN FARTS IN BED THAT I KNOW ARE NOT MINE THE TOILET SEAT’S UP THERE’S PUBES ON THE SOAP AS FOR ROMANCE – NOT A HOPE I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN I’M SO OVER MEN
(Robbie passes the doorway to Glam-Amour and they spot him. They thrust the laundry in his face.)
Clodagh
Ah, Robbie Shitty Shirtlifter – just in time. Service wash. Low temperature.
Dana
That’s quality schmutter, that is. Don’t shrink it.
Robbie
(Picking a G-string from the bag.) I think somebody already did. And seeing as how you want Mum’s launderette so much, do it yourself.
(Robbie throws the bag back at them.)
Clodagh
I don’t know why Dad didn’t just kick you out when your Mum died. You’re like a milestone around his neck.
Robbie
It’s millstone. And Les is no father of mine.
Clodagh
Whatever. Point is you and the scrubber ain’t got long.
Dana
Basically . . .
Clodagh
At the end of the day . . .
Soho Cinders
Dana
I’m not being funny . . .
Clodagh
Or nuffin . . .
Both
Sling your hook.
(Dana throws a thong at Robbie, who exits.)
Dana IF THEY HAD A JAB I’D GIVE IT A STAB TO MAKE ME IMMUNE TO MEN Clodagh PAINLESS AND QUICK JUST ONE LITTLE PRICK Both INSTEAD OF THE USUAL TEN! (They laugh raucously.) I’M SO OVER MEN ’SPECIALLY WHEN THEY’RE PISSED THOSE WHO’VE TURNED US DOWN DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’VE MISSED Clodagh ACT LIKE ICE BUT THEN TRY NOT TO MELT Dana MY ADVICE WEAR A CHASTITY BELT Clodagh NO FOOTBALL TO WATCH FAGS IN THE SINK Y-FRONTS TO WASH – I DON’T THINK SO Dana COLD PIZZA CRUSTS AND BEER CANS TO CHUCK DO WE MISS THEM?
27
28
Act One
Both DO WE FUCK! I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN I’M SO OVER MEN Dana NO MORE PREGNANCY TESTS NO MORE NEED FOR PRECAUTIONS Clodagh NO MORE OVERNIGHT GUESTS NO MORE GETTING SMALL PORTIONS Dana NO MORE "I’M GOING BALD" NO MORE LOVE BITES NEED HIDING Clodagh NO MORE "MY WIFE JUST CALLED" NO MORE HANDS THAT NEED GUIDING Both NO MORE "CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS?" NO MORE "FIRST MEET MY MOTHER" NO MORE "HERE’S WHERE IT ENDS" NO MORE "MADE FOR EACH OTHER I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN I’M SO OVER MEN Narrator
William George and Sasha are out on the campaign trail in Soho.
William (To Sasha.) Relax. It’s just selling, but you’re selling a candidate. Now come on, let’s see the confident posture.
(Clodagh and Dana are exiting Glam-Amour.)
Sasha
I find it hard to . . .
William
Buttocks in, chest out.
Sasha
William, I don’t think that . . .
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29
William
It’s not for them. For me.
(William slaps Sasha on the bottom.)
William
Good girl. Now, just watch and learn. (To Clodagh and Dana.) Hello, ladies.
(Clodagh and Dana don’t react. William tries again . . . )
Ladies?
Clodagh
Who . . . us?
Sasha
We were wondering if you were thinking of voting?
Clodagh
For what?
William
For London’s Mayor.
Dana (To William.) Ooh, and what do you have to offer a single girl that’s gonna make her put a kiss in your box? William
It’s not my ’box’, unfortunately. We’re canvassing for James Prince.
(He hands the girls a leaflet.) Dana Cute! Clodagh
I love an upstanding member.
(William’s phone rings.)
William
Excuse me I must take this. Sasha, you’re on your own.
Dana
You ever been in a titty bar?
Sasha
Er, no!
Clodagh
Well now’s your chance, come on. Just don’t touch the seats, they’re still wet.
Act One
30
(As they disappear inside, Lord Bellingham appears in a spotlight.) William
Lord Bellingham, how are you?
Lord Bellingham I’ve been happier. Cutting to the chase, William. You’ve screwed up. William
In what way?
Lord Bellingham Reach inside your cheap, shiny Primark suit and take out the fundraising invitation. William
The invitation?
Lord Bellingham Now read it. Notice anything? Anything . . . missing? William
Date. Time. Venue.
Lord Bellingham Sponsor? William
Oh, Christ.
Lord Bellingham Well, you could say that. No sponsor, no money. No money, no party. You see how it works? William? William
Yes, I see.
Lord Bellingham Reprint them. William
Sending new invitations will just underline our . . . error.
Lord Bellingham Our error? Your error. Since you did manage to at least include my address on the invitations I assume you wish the event to be held here, as planned? William
Well yes, of course . . . if . . .
Lord Bellingham I hope your candidate runs London better than you run his campaign. William
I’m sorry . . . I just . . .
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31
Lord Bellingham That’s all. (Lord Bellingham hangs up.) William
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Sasha, back to the office.
(Sasha is happy to escape from the clutches of the sisters.)
You’ve screwed up on the party invites. Lord Bollock’s name’s not on it.
(Sasha takes an invitation out of her pocket too.)
Clodagh
Bollocks? Party? Sounds like a night out.
William
Give me that.
(He grabs the invitation from Sasha and tosses both of them away.)
Come on.
Dana (To William.) I thought you were going to show me your . . . manly festo.
(William and Sasha leave.)
You had me at “hello”.
(Clodagh picks up the invitations.)
Clodagh
“James Prince requests the pleasure of your company” . . . then his wish shall be granted. Fancy a night out? A proper night out.
Dana
But he’s got a fiancée, hasn’t he?
Clodagh
Since when did that stop you?
Dana
Oh no, we can’t.
Clodagh
Oh yes we can.
Act One
32
Both
Oh yes we will.
Music No. 5a – I’M SO OVER MEN – REPRISE Dana YOU’RE ALL OVER MEN LIKE SOME FLAMING RASH Clodagh NEVER HAD A MAYOR FIT WITH LOADS OF CASH Both ONE LAST FLING THEN WE’LL CALL IT A DAY BUY SOME BLING AND THEN HAVE IT AWAY THIS MIGHT BE THE ONE GIVE LOVE A CHANCE GO TO HIS PARTY HAVE A DANCE TODAY CITY HALL AND, IN TIME, NUMBER TEN I’M SO OVER MEN OVER OVER OVER OVER OVER OVER I’M GONNA GET MY LEG OVER . . . MEN!
SCENE SIX – James Prince’s home – that evening Narrator
It is 11pm. After an exhausting day’s campaigning, James is still working in his study at home.
Marilyn
They’ll be lucky to have you.
(James is caught offguard, unaware that she has been watching him.)
James Who? Marilyn
London, of course. Who did you think I meant?
James
Sorry, I was . . . elsewhere.
Soho Cinders
(Marilyn crosses to him.)
Marilyn
You’re working too hard. Let’s go up.
James
Marilyn . . .
33
Marilyn What? James
I couldn’t do this without you.
Marilyn
I know . . .
James
And I need you . . .
Marilyn
I know . . .
James
And I’m sorry.
Marilyn
For what?
James
Well . . . it won’t always be like this.
Marilyn
Yes it will, and it’ll probably get worse. If you get in.
James
And if I don’t?
Marilyn
It’ll be something else. You can’t change and I can’t change you.
James Ah! Marilyn
It was just the same at university – it was the debating society, Amnesty International, the free knitting patterns for arthritic pensioners campaign . . .
James
That bad, huh?
Marilyn
That bad.
Music No. 6 – REMEMBER US
But that was the deal. Remember?
Act One
34
James
Yes, I do. It seems like a lifetime ago.
Marilyn REMEMBER WHEN OUR HEADS WERE FULL OF BIG IDEALS REMEMBER THEN James I DON’T REMEMBER HOW THAT FEELS BUT WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG THEN SOMEHOW EVERYTHING’S A PLUS REMEMBER WHEN Marilyn REMEMBER . . . THEN REMEMBER US REMEMBER WHEN YOU DREAMT YOU’D BE LIKE ROBIN HOOD REMEMBER THEN James I KNOW NOT ALL OF IT WAS GOOD Marilyn WE’D TALK FOR HOURS SOME . . . BIG WORLD CRISIS TO DISCUSS REMEMBER WHEN James REMEMBER . . . THEN REMEMBER US Marilyn STRANGE THAT YOU AND I NEVER HAVE TO TRY SOMEHOW WE MUDDLE THROUGH James NO DENYING IT YOU JUST SEEM TO FIT LIKE AN OLD COMFY SHOE Marilyn SUCH A WAY WITH WORDS
Soho Cinders
James BUT THE BEST ARSE IN YOUR WHOLE CLASS OF NERDS Marilyn
Hey!
REMEMBER WHEN YOU GREW A MULLET – GLAD THAT’S GONE James IT WAS THIS LONG Marilyn REMEMBER THEN YOU SAID THAT EMAIL WON’T CATCH ON James SO I WAS WRONG YOUR MOBILE PHONE Marilyn MY MOBILE PHONE Both YES IT WAS BIGGER THAN A BUS James THE SIGNAL WAS RUBBISH Both REMEMBER WHEN REMEMBER . . . THEN REMEMBER US LOOK AT US DOT COM EVERY DOUBTING TOM SAID THAT WE’D NEVER LAST James STILL I’M STUCK ON YOU Marilyn I’M YOUR COMFY SHOE YOU’RE MY ELASTOPLAST
35
Act One
36
Both WE GO HAND IN GLOVE AND STILL WE SEEM THE PERFECT TEAM IN LOVE (Instrumental.) Marilyn SO MANY YEARS James LAUGHTER AND TEARS Marilyn BUT WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG James BUT WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG Both THEN SOMEHOW EVERYTHING’S A PLUS Marilyn REMEMBER WHEN
Now come to bed . . .
James REMEMBER THEN Marilyn
It’s been a while.
Both REMEMBER US James
One more email and I’ll be up. Promise.
(Marilyn closes James’ laptop. He sighs, realising resistance is futile.)
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37
SCENE SEVEN – Two days later – in the Laundrette Narrator
Two days later, back in the launderette, Robbie and Velcro have been chewing the fat – rather an unpalatable expression for the calorie counters amongst us.
(Velcro is holding one of James Prince’s campaign leaflets.)
Velcro
Shame he’s in a suit. I bet he’d get more votes if he was still in his speedos.
Robbie
Then where would he pin his rosette?
Velcro
Right on his policy package.
(Clodagh and Dana enter the launderette.)
Clodagh
Tick, tock, tick, tock . . .
Dana
Do that thing, you know . . .
(She makes her arm look like the big hand on TV’s “Countdown” clock. Clodagh obliges by singing the “Countdown” clock music.
Clodagh sings the theme tune. Dana waits for the final “Boo” of the theme tune, then realises Clodagh is waiting for her to provide it.)
Dana
. . . BOO! I love it when you do that.
Velcro
Little things . . .
Robbie
What do you want?
Clodagh
Splash the cash!
Dana
Show the dough.
Clodagh
Spill the lolly . . .
Both Dolly.
Act One
38
Robbie
Here y’are.
(Robbie hands Dana the cash that we saw him put away in the first scene after accepting it from Lord Bellingham.)
Dana
How much?
Robbie
Five hundred, the usual.
Clodagh
Three words, not en-ough.
Robbie
That’s syllables not words.
Dana
Alright Carol sodding Vorderman, that’s the old rate. We told you it’s gone up.
Robbie
You’ll have to give me a bit longer.
Clodagh
Twenty-four hours.
Dana
Twelve – otherwise we’re changing the locks on this place too.
Clodagh (To Velcro.) You’re wasting your time love, he’s a knob jockey. (The sisters exit.) Robbie
Great, that’s all we need.
Velcro
What are you gonna do?
Robbie
I dunno. What can I do?
Velcro
Sell your body.
Robbie
Very funny.
Velcro
No, on second thoughts you won’t get that much.
(Robbie’s phone rings.)
Robbie Hi. (We see James elsewhere in a spotlight.)
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39
James
Hi it’s me, I just wanted to hear your voice. I’ve only got a minute. I’m sorry.
Robbie
You don’t have to apologise. I get it. I’m glad you called. When can I see you? If it helps I’m free tonight. Or tomorrow night?
(Velcro mimes kisses and love hearts. Robbie shoos her away.)
James
Argh! I’d love to but I’ve got this thing tonight and a fundraiser tomorrow. But the next available moment, I swear . . .
Robbie
Look. You know where I am, and you know I want to see you. You just need to let me know when. No pressure. Just make it soon!
James
I must go. I’ll call you later if I can.
Robbie Bye.
(Robbie puts the phone down.)
Velcro
That was SO gooey! I’ve never seen you like it. It’s like you’ve been abducted by aliens, and they sent back this . . . Andrex puppy. Tell me his name.
Robbie
I can’t. It’s complicated. All I can say is he makes me smile . . . on the inside. Is that love?
Velcro
I dunno it’s been a long time. I can’t remember.
(Sidesaddle enters with a large bouquet of flowers.) Robbie (Seeing the flowers.) Oh Sidesaddle, you shouldn’t have done that, I told it’s half price – at least until you can afford more. Sidesaddle
Sort of embarrassing, they’re not from me, I just took them off the delivery guy. Is my washing ready?
Robbie
Yeah, just done it.
Sidesaddle
Who are they from then?
40
Velcro
Act One
His new boyfriend, but don’t ask his name ’cos he won’t tell you.
Robbie (Opening a card attached to the flowers.) I don’t know. I don’t know why anyone would . . . oh . . .
(Robbie pulls a wadge of bank notes from the envelope.)
Velcro
Jesus Christ, Robbie. What’s he sending you money for? You’re not really selling your body, are you?
Robbie (Slightly dazed.) Course not. Velcro
How much is there?
Music No. 6a – OLD COMPTON STREET – REPRISE Robbie
I . . . dunno. You count it.
(Velcro counts the money as Robbie reads the card. Elsewhere Lord Bellingham appears in a spotlight.)
Lord Bellingham I’D LIKE TO HAVE YOU HERE WITH ME I THINK WE’RE QUITE WELL-SUITED IT’S HIGH TIME OUR RELATIONSHIP BECAME FAR LESS DILUTED AND NO-ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THE TRUTH THE WAY IN WHICH WE MET THE SORDID LITTLE DETAILS IN TIME WE CAN FORGET Lord Bellingham Robbie, I hope I haven’t misjudged our situation, but the time we spend together is the highlight of any week. I’d like more of it and my hope is that you would too. I’m hosting an event tomorrow night at the office and I’d like you to join me. It’s a black tie affair and, as it will be a late night, I’d like you to stay over. I’ve taken the liberty of informing Prada in Sloane Street to expect you. It’s all on account. Just choose something nice. The enclosed is a little something for you.
Soho Cinders
41
(As Robbie closes the card and keeps its contents from Velcro, our focus stays with Lord Bellingham.) Lord Bellingham I CAN’T BEAR YOU ON OLD COMPTON STREET I WON’T SHARE YOU SO I THINK A CHANGE WORTH A TRY I DON’T RENT WHAT I CAN BUY THERE ARE WAYS TO BEAT OLD COMPTON STREET
(Robbie is panic stricken.)
Velcro
There’s a thousand pounds . . . (There’s no reaction.) . . . he must really love you.
Robbie
Yeah . . . that’s what worries me. Give it here.
(Velcro hands Robbie the money which he starts to put back in the envelope.)
Velcro
What are you doing?
Robbie
I’m sending it back. With the flowers.
Velcro
Robbie, what’s going on? You just spoke to him on the phone and lit up like the Blackpool illuminations. Now you’re playing hard to get.
Robbie
It’s not from him. (Pause.) Sidesaddle, can you give us a minute?
Sidesaddle
I can give you all night – I’m off home. Laters.
(Sidesaddle exits.)
Velcro
And . . .
Robbie
I’m seeing this guy.
Velcro
I know you are.
Robbie
Well, I’m not . . . I’m sort of seeing two guys.
Act One
42
Velcro What? Robbie
Well I’m not, but I am.
Velcro
You’re not making any sense, Robbie. Are you on something?
Robbie
Look. I’ve been seeing this guy for three months and I think I’ve fallen in love with him. But it’s complicated.
Velcro
What’s complicated? He’s just sent you a thousand pounds and a bunch of flowers.
Robbie
No he hasn’t. They’re from someone else.
Velcro Who? Robbie
An older man. A businessman. A . . . Lord.
Velcro (Incredulous.) A Lord! Robbie
I met him on a website. Where older rich guys meet younger . . . less rich guys.
Velcro Robbie! Robbie
I know, but we needed the money! He took a shine to me and I went along with it. Drinks, dinners, movies. I was company for him. But now it’s turned into wads of cash and flowers and he’s asking me to stay overnight. That feels like prostitution.
Velcro
Well, duh! And, what, has your boyfriend found out.
Robbie
No, nothing like that.
Velcro
So what’s the problem? Ditch Lord Sugar Daddy and be with Prince Charming.
Robbie
It’s not as easy as that, you see . . . there’s a Princess Charming.
Velcro
He’s married?
Robbie
Fiancée.
Soho Cinders
Velcro
Oh Christ, Robbie!
Robbie
And you know him. Well you know of him.
Velcro
I do?
Robbie
He’s kinda famous.
43
Velcro (Trying to work it out.) Famous closet case. There’s so many, I wouldn’t know where to start. (Pause.) Oh Robbie, just give me his name.
(Robbie holds up the James Prince campaign leaflet.)
Velcro
Oh get real . . .
Robbie
I’m serious.
Velcro
James Prince . . . you’re not! The Mayor guy. He’s not gay.
Robbie
I can promise you he is, but not publicly. He’s not like any other guy I’ve been with.
Velcro
Robbie, you need to be careful. This has danger written all over it.
Robbie
I know. I know.
(A Hunky Customer enters with his laundry.) Velcro
I think number five’s free, on the right. (To Robbie in hushed tones.) You read about things like this. Politicians. Affairs. Wives. And you’re seeing this Lord as well. I’m sorry Robbie but . . .
Robbie
It’s under control.
Velcro
Today maybe. But you can’t control the press. Now listen Robbie . . .
Robbie (Raising his voice.) I’ve heard you Cro’, but . . . Velcro (Indicating they are not alone.) Shh!
Act One
44
(The Customer turns to them, then continues to load the machine.) Robbie (Hushed tones again.) I’m not getting rid of the best thing in my life ’cos of what might happen tomorrow. Okay? Velcro
Okay. Okay. Well why doesn’t he just come out? No-one would care.
Robbie
Well his fiancee might.
(The Customer removes his shirt and puts it in the washer.) Velcro (The reality has sunk in.) I can’t believe it. I’ve got to get my gaydar realigned. Gay, straight, bi, married, gay married, Arthur, Martha, Grindr, Tinder. It does me head in. Music No. 7 – IT’S HARD TO TELL Velcro
Now . . . (Pointing to the Customer just as he’s removing his jeans and placing them in the washer.) take him, for instance.
(Fantasy sequence. During the course of the song it is as if the launderette has been transformed into a trendy night club peopled by hot young things, male and female, who appear from washing machines and behind dryers.) Velcro TO ME IT’S QUITE CLEAR HE HAS TO BE QUEER BUT I’LL ADMIT THEY’RE GETTING HARDER TO SPOT UNLESS THEY’RE SCREAMING "OUT AND PROUD" OR SINGING SHOW TUNES WAY TOO LOUD I WOULDN’T LIKE TO SAY WHO’S INTO WHAT . . . IT’S HARD TO TELL THE GAY GUYS FROM THE STRAIGHT THESE DAYS IT’S HARD TO TELL THE PRINCES FROM THE QUEENS EVERY BAR IN SOHO THAT ONCE WAS STRICTLY NO GO NOW FALLS SOMEWHERE BETWIXT
Soho Cinders
WITH A CLIENTELE THAT’S MIXED IT’S HARD TO TELL THE GAY GUYS FROM THE STRAIGHT THESE DAYS IT’S HARD TO TELL THE HOMOS FROM THE HETS HE’S HOTTER THAN WASABE BUT DOES HE LOVE KEN OR BARBIE? WELL I’M NOT PLACING ANY BETS HEAD TO TOE IN GUCCI ACTING RATHER SMOOCHEY SEEMS THE TYPE FOR PULLING BIRDS THEN IN CONVERSATION COMES THE REVELATION HE IS MINCING MORE THAN JUST HIS WORDS Robbie IT’S HARD TO TELL THE GAY GUYS FROM THE STRAIGHT THESE DAYS IT’S HARD TO TELL THE DIAMONDS FROM THE ROUGH BOTH PLAY CASANOVA WHICH BOWLS A MAIDEN OVER THAT’S FINE FOR TEA AND CHAT BUT FOR WHICH TEAM DOES HE BAT? Robbie & Velcro IT’S HARD TO TELL THE GAY GUYS FROM THE STRAIGHT THESE DAYS IT’S HARD TO TELL THE ONE IN EVERY TEN Robbie SOME LOVE TOPLESS STRIPPERS OTHERS DREAM OF RUBY SLIPPERS WELL AIN’T THAT TYPICAL OF MEN QUITE THE DISCO BUNNY TANS WHEN IT’S NOT SUNNY LOOKS AS IF HE’S WORTH A FLING Velcro LOOKS AS IF HE’S WORTH A FLING Robbie JEANS HE HAS TO SQUEEZE ON ABS YOU COULD GRATE CHEESE ON THEN YOU SEE HE WEARS A WEDDING RING
45
Act One
46
Velcro A WEDDING RING DON’T MEAN A THING Both & Full Ensemble IT’S HARD TO TELL IT’S HARD TO TELL SCANNING THEIR REFLECTION FOR THE SLIGHTEST IMPERFECTION IF WRINKLES DARE TO SHOW THEY MOISTURIZE THEM SO IT’S HARD TO TELL THE GAY GUYS FROM THE STRAIGHT THESE DAYS IT’S HARD TO TELL WHICH WAY THAT THEY’RE INCLINED MAKING SURE THEY’RE PRETTY FOR A NIGHT OUT ON THE CITY WHERE BOTH HAVE ONE THING ON THEIR MIND (The song ends in a tableau of bodies.) Music No. 7a – IT’S HARD TO TELL – FADE
SCENE EIGHT – Soho Square – 11am the following morning Narrator
Robbie and Velcro are crashed out on a bench after their night in Soho assessing the sexual orientation of its inhabitants by asking them to provide surnames for the following list: Liza, Chita and Barbra. Not surprisingly, many single gentlemen scored three out of three.
Velcro
Hey Robbie. How’s the head? I feel like I’ve been hit by a Budweiser truck. One too many vodka shots.
Robbie
I hardly slept a wink. I can’t believe I’ve got myself into this mess.
(Robbie’s phone bleeps with a text message.)
Velcro
Which one is it? Lord Gay or Mayor Not-Quite-Sure?
Robbie Cro.
Soho Cinders
(Robbie read the text message and smiles.)
Velcro
Oh, it’s the Mayor. Give me that phone.
47
Robbie No. Velcro
Phone. Now. I know who he is, just give me the phone.
(Robbie hands the phone over. Velcro reads the text message.)
“Thinking about you. Can’t wait to see you Squidge”
Robbie
It’s Squdge. Oh Cro, he makes my tummy go. What am I gonna do? I can’t continue with Lord Bellingham, I have to send him back the money.
Velcro
Robbie, have a brain. A thousand pounds would come in useful, right? Of course right. So here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re going to go and give Trash and Trollop the rent and get them off our backs. Then, we go to Prada and get you dolled up in the best tux, and maybe pick up a little something for me.
Robbie
For you?
Velcro
Let’s call it a little thank you for all the shit you’ve put me through. Agreed? Just nod. Right, then you are going to go to this swanky party and be sweetness and light with Lord Whotisname, and after that you are never going to see him again.
Robbie
Yes, but he wants me to stay the night.
Velcro
And you’re going to have every intention of doing so until . . . I call you at midnight.
Robbie What? Velcro
I’ll phone and say I’ve got some emergency. The launderette’s burnt down, Becky’s exploded. Use your imagination.
Robbie
And . . .
Act One
48
Velcro
You make your excuses and you come home. That way you’ve kept your side of the bargain with his Lordship and you’ve stayed faithful to Prince Bisexual.
Robbie
Oh Cro. I’m not so sure. You make it sound so simple.
Velcro
That’s cos it is.
(Sidesaddle draws up beside them in her cycle rickshaw.)
Sidesaddle
Hi guys. You alright? Need a ride?
Velcro
Actually, yes we do.
Sidesaddle
Where to?
Velcro
Prada. Sloane Street.
Robbie Cro! Velcro
Get in, you Muppet!
Sidesaddle
That’s a long way.
Velcro
That ’ain’t it. You’ve got to wait for us there then take him for a haircut. Come to think of it, how much till midnight?
Sidesaddle (Off the top of her head.) A hundred quid. Velcro
Right Robbie, pay her fifty.
(Robbie pulls a fifty pound note from the envelope.)
Sidesaddle Fifty? Velcro
Half price, remember?
Robbie
You owe me.
Sidesaddle
Fifty it is. Prada, Sloane Street that’s a bit upmarket.
Velcro
He’s got a big party tonight, haven’t you Robbie? Posh do.
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49
Robbie (Sarcastically.) Yeah, great. Sidesaddle
You don’t sound so keen.
Velcro
He’s warming to the idea, aren’t you?
Robbie (Unenthusiastically.) Sure. Velcro
Well, let your face know.
(During the following song Robbie is transformed ready for the ’Ball’ to the extent that he is barely recognisable by the end of the number.) Music No. 8 – YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL Velcro YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL CINDERELLA I’LL TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, LUCKY FELLA YOUR CARRIAGE WAITS JUST STEP INSIDE Sidesaddle I CAN’T DO TRICKS WITH PUMPKINS NOR NO HORSES FROM WHITE MICE BUT WHO NEEDS VEG AND VERMIN WHEN YOU’VE GOT ME FOR HALF PRICE Sidesaddle & Velcro YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA Sidesaddle I’LL GET YOU THERE ALRIGHT YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL I CAN TELL A LOT IS UP FOR GRABS YOU’VE GOT THE BEST OF CABS TONIGHT (CUT TO: Clodagh and Dana in the final stages of getting ready for the party. They are dressed very tartily.)
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50
Dana
Clo, how do I look?
Clodagh
Like someone’s covered you in Pritt Stick and rolled you through Accessorize.
Clodagh I COULD USE ANOTHER PINT OF BAILEYS Dana A BAILEYS Clodagh SECOND THOUGHTS I’LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE Dana MAKE IT TWO Both TWO SILLY BINTS GONNA FIGHT FOR A PRINCE Dana COS TONIGHT Clodagh TONIGHT Both TONIGHT Dana YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA Both BOTH LOOKING FIT Clodagh AND SLIM Both YES, WE SHALL GO TO THE BALL LOOKING STELLAR I COULD BE THE GIRL FOR HIM
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Clodagh I LOVE THIS SHADE OF LIP GLOSS Dana MY MASCARA’S BY CHANEL Both YOU’D NEVER THINK TWO SCRUBBERS COULD HAVE GOT TARTED UP QUITE THIS WELL (CUT TO: Lord Bellingham in a spotlight tying his bow tie.) Lord Bellingham THOSE WHO RAISE AN EYEBROW AT THE AGE GAP NEED TO KEEP THEIR NOSE FROM MY AFFAIRS GOSSIPS MAY THINK THAT I’M DATING A TWINK BUT WHO CARES? YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA WITH ALL THAT BOYISH CHARM YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL AS MY BELLE A HANDSOME TRINKET ON MY ARM
(CUT TO: Robbie being fitted for his suit.
Robbie HOW DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS? HE JUST GIVES ME THE CREEPS Velcro (Deliberately sounding ’posh’.) MAYBE ONE SHOULD BE MORE PARTICULAR ABOUT PLACES ONE SLEEPS Robbie SORRY CRO, I KNOW IT’S NOT CLEVER DOING THIS IS NOT WHAT I’D EVER CHOOSE
(Robbie continues to get ready, with haircut and manicure.)
(CUT TO: Marilyn, William and James make their way to Lord Bellingham’s offices.)
52
Act One
Marilyn HERE WE GO AGAIN, THE GOLDEN COUPLE James KEEP SMILING William THIS COULD REALLY BE THE LITMUS TEST Marilyn (Smiling ingratiatingly at James.) HOW IS THIS! William MAKE SURE YOU MINGLE AND SCHMOOZ EVERY SINGLE LAST GUEST (CUT TO: Robbie and Velcro are ready to leave.) Robbie HOW DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS I FEEL WEAK AT THE KNEES Velcro IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU GO PARTYING NOT WITH PEOPLE LIKE THESE Sidesaddle COME ON GUYS! ENOUGH HESITATING CAN’T YOU SEE YOUR CARRIAGE IS WAITING NOW
(Sidesaddle’s rickshaw is now pimped to the max and vaguely resembles an orange pumpkin. Party Guests fill the stage as the set transforms to Lord Bellingham’s offices.)
All YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL CINDERELLA GO WHERE THE LIGHTS ARE BRIGHT YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, WE CAN SMELL A LOT OF TENSION HERE TONIGHT WATCH THE GLITTERATI GLITTER THE NOUVEAU CREME DE LA CREME
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THEY LOVE TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE KNOWING THAT EVERY EYE IS ON THEM
(James, Marilyn and William are greeting various Guests. Lord Bellingham is the perfect host. At the top of the staircase the fully-transformed Robbie makes his entrance.)
All YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA GO FOR A NIGHT OF GLITZ YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA AND MINGLE WITH THOSE POMPOUS GITS Lord Bellingham (Looking pleased.) Robbie. All AND GET COMPLETELY OFF YOUR TITS James (Looking startled.) Robbie? All AND SEE IF THE GLASS SLIPPER . . . Robbie (Looking horrified.) Awkward! All . . . FITS (Curtain.)
53
Act Two
54
ACT TWO Music No. 9 – ENTR’ACTE SCENE ONE – The party at Bellingham Industries Music segues into Lord Bellingham’s office where the campaign fund-raising party is in full swing. Lord Bellingham, Robbie and James are in exactly the same position as we left them at the end of Act One. All YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA GO FOR A NIGHT OF GLITZ YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA AND MINGLE WITH THOSE POMPOUS GITS Lord Bellingham (Looking pleased.) Robbie. All AND GET COMPLETELY OFF YOUR TITS James (Looking startled.) Robbie? All AND SEE IF THE GLASS SLIPPER . . .
(James Prince is staring at Robbie, who looks deeply uncomfortable.)
Music No. 10 – WHO’S THAT BOY? Party Guests (See score for details.) WHO’S THAT BOY? AND WHO DID HE COME IN WITH? WHO’S THAT BOY? HE’S HANDSOME TO BEGIN WITH WHO’S THAT BOY? NO DOUBT A YOUNG GO-GETTER WHO’S THAT BOY? I’D LIKE TO KNOW HIM BETTER WHO’S THAT BOY? WHO’S THAT BOY?
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Lord Bellingham (Confused.) Robbie. Can I have word? (Robbie tries to get away from Lord Bellingham by making his way to the bar to get a drink. During the sequence we see both James and Lord Bellingham trying to find Robbie.) Party Guests (See score for breakdown.) WHO’S THAT BOY? THERE HAS TO BE A STORY WHO’S THAT BOY? TOO TRENDY FOR A TORY WHO’S THAT BOY? IT SEEMS HE WAS EXPECTED WHO’S THAT BOY? HE’S CLEARLY WELL-CONNECTED WHO’S THAT BOY? WHO’S THAT BOY? Marilyn
James. Is everything Okay? William? What’s going on?
William
I intend to find out.
(James tries to get to Robbie who attempts to avoid a confrontation.)
Party Guests DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE SAUNTERED IN AS IF HE OWNED THE PLACE EXUDING SUCH SELF-CONFIDENCE YET NO-ONE KNOWS HIS FACE HE LEAVES US IN THE SHADOWS LIKE A MOMENT’RY ECLIPSE AND THERE IS JUST ONE QUESTION THAT’S ON EVERYBODY’S LIPS WHO’S THAT BOY? Dana
He’s looking at me again. Oh please. Could he be more obvious.
55
Act Two
56
Clodagh
Get over yourself, it’s me he’s oggling. All these politicians like a bit on the side.
Dana
That James Prince is fit.
Waiter
Stuffed olive?
Clodagh
Did he? Lucky Olive. (Dirty laugh.)
William WHO’S THAT BOY? AND WHY THE STRANGE REACTION Clodagh (To Dana.) It’s Robbie! William WHO’S THAT BOY? AND WHAT IS THE ATTRACTION Dana
What’s he doing here?
William WHO’S THAT BOY? Clodagh & Dana HE’S JUST OUR LITTLE BROTHER COS OUR DAD GOT MARRIED TO HIS MOTHER William
So what’s he doing . . . (Realises it’s Clodagh and Dana.) . . . what are you doing here? Security!
Clodagh
I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
Dana
You’ve got questions. We’ve got answers. Call us.
(She scrawls her phone number on the invitation card with her lipstick. Elsewhere, James and Lord Bellingham continue to pursue Robbie.)
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Party Guests SYMPTOMATIC OF THESE FUNCTIONS IS THEY’RE FULL OF CRASHING BORES THE FIRST SIGN OF FRESH TALENT AND THEY’RE BEATING DOWN THE DOORS LIKE BEES AROUND THE HONEY LIKE MOTHS AROUND THE FLAME THEY CHASE AFTER THE YOUNG BLOOD THOUGH NO-ONE KNOWS HIS NAME (Instrumental half-chorus during which Robbie escapes to the terrace.) WHO’S THAT BOY? HE’S ENTRANCE WAS DRAMATIC WHO’S THAT BOY BOTH COOL AND ENIGMATIC WHO’S THAT BOY? WHO’S THAT BOY?
(Robbie is on the terrace. Having just taken his phone out to make a call he is interrupted by the arrival of Lord Bellingham.)
Lord Bellingham Robbie? Is everything alright? You don’t seem yourself. Robbie
No, I’m fine . . . I’m fine.
Lord Bellingham You seemed nervous in front of James Prince – it’s not like you, he’s a mayoral candidate, not royalty. Robbie
I know, I’m . . . I’m not really feeling myself. In fact, George, I think I may have to go . . .
(Robbie raises his phone. Lord Bellingham gently but forcefully puts his hand on the phone.)
Lord Bellingham You don’t have to do that. The apartment’s upstairs. Why don’t you go and have a lie down in my room. Robbie
No George, I think it’s better if I go.
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58
Lord Bellingham Wait a minute, Doctor Reid’s here, he can have a look at you. Robbie (More forcefully.) No, George. I want to go. Lord Bellingham This a big night for me. Actually for you and me. Us. Robbie
Us?
Lord Bellingham Like I said in the note, which you clearly received judging by the Prada suit you’re wearing. I thought I’d made my feelings very clear. Robbie
Yes you did, George, and about that . . . I’m not sure we’re quite in the same place . . .
Lord Bellingham (Clearly hurt.) I see. But you took the thousand pounds, and you went on a shopping spree. Robbie
George . . .
Lord Bellingham No, Robbie, you see that’s not how it works. All the gifts, all the dinners, the money, the suit you’re wearing, the shirt on your back – it’s not charity – what do you think I am? Robbie (Getting angry.) No, George what do you think I am? Lord Bellingham (Grabbing Robbie’s lapels.) I’ll tell you what I think you are.
(Robbie’s phone is knocked to the ground. At that moment James and William run onto the terrace. Marilyn holds back slightly, at a distance.)
William
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lord Bellingham, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?
James
Robbie, what are you doing here?
William
I’m sure there must be a very simple explanation . . .
Robbie (Not moving.) I really have to go. James
You two know one another?
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Robbie
I can’t do this. Not now.
(Robbie runs off.)
William
James, there are guests to be attended to. Lord Bellingham are you coming?
Lord Bellingham Hmm? Yes, of course.
(Lord Bellingham and William rejoin the party guests inside leaving Marilyn alone on the terrace. She stoops to pick up the mobile phone Robbie dropped in the fracas.)
Marilyn WHO’S THAT BOY? AND WHAT IS HE CONCEALING? WHO’S THAT BOY? I’VE GOT THE STRANGEST FEELING WHO’S THAT BOY? PERHAPS HE’S JUST A CHANCER WHO’S THAT BOY I FEAR I KNOW THE ANSWER WHO’S THAT BOY? |WHO’S THAT BOY? Party Guests BOY, BOY WHO’S THAT BOY? WHO’S THAT BOY?
(Marilyn goes back inside. Robbie runs in the darkness.)
All WHO’S THAT BOY? DID SOMEBODY INVITE HIM? WHO’S THAT BOY? SO CUTE I WANT TO BITE HIM WHO’S THAT BOY? I THOUGHT I SAW A SCUFFLE WHO’S THAT BOY
Act Two
60
WHO’S CAUSING THE KERFUFFLE WHO’S THAT BOY? WHO’S THAT BOY?
SCENE TWO – Trafalgar Square, soon after Narrator
Robbie runs into the night. Without really thinking about where he’s going, he ends up in Trafalgar Square beside one of the lion’s paws.
(James runs in breathless.)
James
I thought you’d come here.
Robbie
Well, you know me . . .
James
Do I, Robbie? I’m not sure I do. How do you know George Bellingham?
Robbie
Look James . . .
James
Please tell me it’s not what I think?
(Silence.) (Getting slightly agitated.) Robbie, I’ve asked you a question. I think you owe me an explanation. Robbie (Rising to meet James’ anger.) I don’t owe you anything. But I’m not having an affair with him, if that’s what you think. James
So how do you know him?
Robbie
He took a shine to me. I went along with it. At first it was just company and I felt sorry for him. It was perfectly innocent. Then it kind of developed into giving me money and stuff. And now . . . he’s asking for a bit more . . .
James (Sarcastically.) Well where did you think it was leading? And why didn’t you tell me?
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Robbie
There are things about you that I never questioned such as your fiancée and there are things about me . . .
James
. . . which you should have told me, Robbie. I’m running for London Mayor, for God’s sake.
Robbie
Yes, and until tonight, I was your uncomplicated escape from all that.
James
Uncomplicated? Jesus. If the Press get hold of this. Oh God. Have you any idea what this will look like?
Robbie
What do you mean?
James
“Industry tycoon pays young gay guy for company”. Join the dots, Robbie, they’ll make you out to be an escort. Worse. A rent boy.
Robbie
I never had sex with him.
James
No, but you took his money. And if they link me to you . . . ”The politician cheating on his fiancée with a rent boy”. So tragic it’s almost funny.
Robbie
But I never took your money even though we had . . . no, this is all wrong. It’s not like that. James. I’m your lover. I’m not a rent boy.
(Robbie makes a move towards James.)
I’ve fallen in love with you. That’s why I left the party. I can’t be with anyone else. I don’t want to be with anyone else.
James
I can’t take this. Jesus Christ. What have I done?
(James turns and walks away into the night. Robbie calls after him.)
Robbie
James! James!
62
Act Two
Music No. 11 – THEY DON’T MAKE GLASS SLIPPERS Robbie ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS JUST A LITTLE BOY AND HE THOUGHT THE WHOLE WORLD WAS HIS WASN’T VERY OLD WHEN HE CAME TO FIND OUT THAT THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS THEY DON’T MAKE GLASS SLIPPERS IT’S NO GREAT SURPRISE IF THEY MAKE GLASS SLIPPERS THEY DON’T HAVE MY SIZE HAPPY EVER AFTERS ALWAYS TURN OUT WRONG NO FAIRY GODMOTHER POPS UP TO HELP THINGS ALONG THEY DON’T MAKE GLASS SLIPPERS PRETTY AS THEY SEEM TROUBLE IS GLASS SLIPPERS SHATTER LIKE A DREAM WHY DON’T HANDSOME PRINCES PRACTICE WHAT THEY PREACH MAGICAL KINGDOMS ARE ALWAYS JUST OUT OF MY REACH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS JUST A LITTLE BOY AND HE THOUGHT THE WHOLE WORLD WAS HIS WASN’T VERY OLD WHEN HE CAME TO FIND OUT THAT THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS JUST A LITTLE BOY AND HE THOUGHT THE WHOLE WORLD WAS HIS WASN’T VERY OLD WHEN HE CAME TO FIND OUT THAT THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS THEY DON’T MAKE GLASS SLIPPERS IT’S NO GREAT SURPRISE IF THEY MAKE GLASS SLIPPERS
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THEY DON’T HAVE MY SIZE HAPPY EVER AFTERS ALWAYS TURN OUT WRONG NO FAIRY GODMOTHER POPS UP TO HELP THINGS ALONG NO FAIRY GODMOTHER POPS UP TO HELP THINGS ALONG
SCENE THREE – Campaign Headquarters – the following morning A crisis meeting between William, Marilyn and James is taking place. Narrator
The following morning all is not well in James Prince’s campaign headquarters. The events of the previous evening have thrown everything up in the air. Having seen the way James looked at both Marilyn and Robbie, William George fears an impending double dip depression.
William
Well, James? Just like Prince Charles . . . I’m all ears.
(William holds up a piece of paper with phone numbers in it.)
You seen this? This is a list of donors, all of whom were there last night, all of whom have called today asking for an explanation. Now before I make one up, I’d like to hear the truth from you.
(Silence.)
For God’s sake say something.
James
I’ve no idea what he was doing there. He was hired by Bellingham as ’company’.
William
The boy?
James
Yes. His name’s Robbie.
William
And do you know him?
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64
James
I’ve been seeing him for four months.
Marilyn
Oh no.
William What? Marilyn
Shut up, William.
William
He was “hired” by Bellingham? You mean . . . he’s a rent boy?
Marilyn
Oh please no.
James
He’s not. But Bellingham was paying him for company. Apparently they never had sex.
William
And what about you?
James
Paying for sex? Of course not! Between him and me . . . no money ever changed hands.
William
Oh well that’s fine, then. The papers won’t give a toss. Won’t even be interested. I’ll call the f-ing pope, have you put up for sainthood. Halle-pissing-lu-yah.
James
William, please.
William
Fiancée, secret gay rent boy lover, politician. Boom! The perfect storm. Cancel the diary. Cancel the campaign. Shit.
(Marilyn goes to leave.)
James
Marilyn. It’s sounds so . . . weak; but I’m sorry. Marilyn?
Marilyn
James. I don’t want to hear it and this is certainly not something I wish to discuss in front of him. (Indicating William.) I’ll see you at home.
(Marilyn looks at a poster of James Prince with the logo ’How can you go wrong with honest.’)
Pathetic.
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Music No. 11a – SPIN – REPRISE
(Marilyn leaves the office.)
Marilyn
Oh God.
Marilyn HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH HONEST? HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH SIMPLE TRUTH? REMEMBER? - THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE WANT SINCE WHEN DID DECENCY BECOME OLD-FASHIONED HIDDEN BY A SMOKE SCREEN OF CLICHE? HE PROMISED THAT HE’D PLAY IT STRAIGHT LAUGHABLE I KNOW BUT WAIT . . . (A phone rings in Marilyn’s bag. We recognise it as Robbie’s ringtone.) Marilyn
What on earth . . . ? (She searches in her bag.) I don’t believe this. (She answers.) Hello? (Robbie?) No, but this is his phone. (So who are you?) This is Marilyn Platt. (Well what are you doing with Robbie’s phone.) He dropped it last night. He had to leave in something of a hurry. (Well where is he?) Look, I’ve no idea where he is. (So are you going to return his phone?) I’m sorry? No I will not return his fucking phone.
(Marilyn exits while, back in the office, James sits with his head in his hands.)
James
Oh Christ.
William
He may be the son of God but even he can’t help you now.
James
What am I going to do?
William
I will tell you what you are going to do. First you are going to go home. Shower and clean up. You’ve not only been socialising in the gutter you smell like you’ve been rolling in it. Get a car to pick you up. From round the back. This mess will have leaked by this afternoon and I want you seriously unavailable for comment. Do you understand that?
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66
(James nods.)
Good. Second, start writing the best apology speech ever written and we’ll just see if I can do an impersonation of the Messiah and rescue this out-of-control campaign. Now go.
(James exits.)
Music No. 11b – UNDERSCORE into THE TAIL THAT WAGS THE DOG
(William pulls out the invitation card on which the stepsisters’ phone number is written in lipstick. He dials. Lights come up on Clodagh and Dana, as their phone starts to vibrate. They answer.)
William
This is William George. You gave me your number at the event last night. You told me that Robbie is your brother, or stepbrother.
Clodagh
That’s right.
William
So presumably you have an address for him.
Clodagh
Yeah. He works in the launderette next door.
William
In Old Compton Street. Right, here’s what’s going to happen. In a few hours time you’re going to have a lot of Press assembling outside your establishment, rather keen to find out more about your brother.
Clodagh
Go on. What’s that got to do with us?
William
I want you to make your brother’s colourful life sound even more colourful. As sordid as you like. Now that shouldn’t be too hard should it?
Clodagh
And what’s in it for us?
William
Trust me. People will pay a lot for your story. I’ll make sure of that. Now enjoy your moment in the sun.
(He hangs up. Lights go down on Clodagh and Dana.)
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Tea, get in here.
(Sasha enters.)
Sasha
Yes, William. What was all that about?
William
That, my dear Tea, was what you call an opportunity. A great big mincing opportunity.
Music No. 12 – THE TAIL THAT WAGS THE DOG William
Get me a car.
Sasha
Where are we going?
William
Bellingham Industries.
(Sasha re-enters with William’s coat.)
William THE POLITICS OF POLITICS BEHOLD “THE PEOPLE’S CHOICE” HE MAY BE MUSIC TO THEIR EARS BUT I’M HIS MASTER’S VOICE THE DASHING POLITICIAN LET EVERYONE RAISE A GLASS I KNOCK THEM INTO SHAPE I MOULD THEM TILL THEY FIT I PLUMP THE CUSHIONS ON THE SEAT WHERE I’D PREFER TO SIT I PULL THE STRINGS AND CALL THE SHOTS I GROOM THEM FOR THE THRONE I’M THE TAIL THAT WAGS THE DOG BUT IT’S THE DOG THAT GETS THE BONE HE SEEMED THE PERFECT PACKAGE BUT TOO BAD HE HAD A FLAW IT ONLY TAKES ONE WEAKNESS AND THE PRESS WILL PICK IT RAW
68
Act Two
WE NEED A STRONG SUCCESSOR DOES ANYONE SPRING TO MIND? THE MONKEY’S ON THE SCRAP HEAP WATCH THE ORGAN GRINDER GRIND I KNOCK THEM INTO SHAPE Sasha YOU KNOCK THEM INTO SHAPE William I MOULD THEM TILL THEY FIT Sasha YOU MOULD THEM TILL THEY FIT William I PLUMP THE CUSHIONS ON THE SEAT Sasha WHERE YOU’D PREFER TO SIT William I PULL THE STRINGS AND CALL THE SHOTS I GROOM THEM FOR THE THRONE I’M THE TAIL THAT WAGS THE DOG Both YET IT’S THE DOG THAT GETS THE BONE William (with Ensemble oohs.) IT MAKES YOU ASK WHAT WAS IT THAT LED HIM TO BE UNTRUE IT SEEMS THAT EVERY CLOSET HOLDS A SKELETON OR TWO NOW WE LOSE OUR DEPOSIT IF WE DON’T FIND SOMEONE NEW I’M THRILLED TO BITS THE SLIPPER FITS STAND BACK I’M COMING THROUGH (They burst into Lord Bellingham’s office at Bellingham Industries.)
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William
69
Oh George, you have been a naughty little Lord, haven’t you?
Lord Bellingham What? William
“Lord Bellingham and rent boy lover in political fundraiser”. Now only a fool would bet the markets but I’ll take my chance that Bellingham Industries shares will go down.
Lord Bellingham I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. William
Your little friend, Robbie?
Lord Bellingham Rent boy? I’ve never paid him for . . . William
What did you pay him for, exactly? (There’s no answer.) Now I’m assuming you’d prefer to keep your private life out of the press.
Lord Bellingham Go on. William
In an hour this story will leak. However, it all depends which story we’d like to tell. My version is that sicko James Prince arrogantly invited his fiancée and gay boy lover to the same fundraising event. Worse than that he did so in your good offices. Of course, there is another version of the tale which involves the chief executive of a multi-national . . .
Lord Bellingham I get it, I get it. How much? William
I’m sorry?
Lord Bellingham How much to keep me out of it? William
I’d say a hundred thousand should do it.
Lord Bellingham You must be mad. Get out! William
It’s not for me. It’s for my campaign . . . to become London Mayor.
Lord Bellingham Your what?
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70
William
Prince won’t survive this. I have the credentials, I know the system. You’ll find me a very loyal servant in City Hall. And we have two days before nominations close.
Lord Bellingham (Thinking hard.) What do I need to do? William
The bank transfer. I’ll do the rest.
Lord Bellingham Don’t screw this up, William. I mean it. William (As he exits.) George, you can trust me. STAND BACK I’M COMING THROUGH (Instrumental as time is passing. William holds centre stage as he summons a number of Newspaper Editors. Another snap of his fingers and a photo of Robbie is distributed amongst them. The editors in turn dispatch their Photographers to the strip club, where they wait for their prey.) I KNOCK THEM INTO SHAPE I MOULD THEM TILL THEY FIT I PLUMP THE CUSHIONS ON THE SEAT WHERE I’D PREFER TO SIT I PULL THE STRINGS AND CALL THE SHOTS I GROOM THEM FOR THE THRONE I’M THE TAIL THAT WAGS THE DOG YET IT’S THE DOG THAT GETS THE YET IT’S THE DOG THAT GETS THE YES IT’S THE DOG THAT GETS THE BONE Ensemble KNOCK THEM INTO SHAPE MOULD THEM TILL THEY FIT PLUMP THE CUSHIONS AND SIT PULL THE STRINGS CALL THE SHOTS GROOM THEM FOR THE THRONE OOOH DOG GONE, DOG GONE
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DOG GONE, DOG GONE AHHH DOG THAT GETS THE BONE
(William howls, not unlike a dog, with delight.)
SCENE 4 – Inside the launderette Velcro is sending a text. Narrator
Back at the launderette Velcro is blissfully unaware of the calamitous events of the previous evening, apart from the fact that her best friend dropped his phone.
Velcro (To the Customer.) Are you all done I want to close up. Customer
Yeah, all finished.
(The Customer opens to door of the launderette to leave as Marilyn walks in. The Customer exits.) Velcro (Without turning around.) Sorry love, we’re closed. Marilyn
It’s Velcro, right?
Velcro
Oh God. It really is you. I didn’t make the connection till I . . . I thought you said . . .
Marilyn
I changed my mind. I don’t know why. I suppose everyone has a morbid fascination with a car crash.
Velcro
What? How did you find me?
Marilyn
Our campaign manager said he worked here.
Velcro
Oh, so have you brought Robbie’s phone. Where is he? Is he alright?
Marilyn
I don’t where he is. And I don’t know if he’s alright. What I do know is that he is having an affair with my fiancée.
Act Two
72
Velcro
Look, I don’t know what to say. I only found out myself a few days ago and I told him . . .
(Marilyn sits on a bench.)
. . . are you okay? Can I get you some water?
Marilyn
Velcro’s a strange name.
Velcro
Well, it’s Sonia really. Everyone calls me Velcro because of my frizzy hair.
Marilyn Sonia. Velcro
His phone?
Marilyn
He’s a good man. James. Always puts everyone else first. Well, nearly always. I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s worked hard for this. We all have.
Velcro
You never had an inkling he was gay?
Marilyn
I’ve known all along that James was gay – or at least bisexual. Oh yes, it may surprise you but we have . . . had . . . a sex life. I believe they call it a “mixed orientation relationship”.
Velcro Really? Marilyn
Back at University it wasn’t exactly a secret that James had an eye for the boys.
Velcro
But if you knew he was gay how come you got together?
Marilyn
It was years later. We were like best friends. He asked me to marry him. I was as surprised as everyone else. By then his swimming career was over and he’d moved back into politics. I thought it was just ’a convenience’ – a nice cosy package for the voters – so I turned him down.
Velcro
What changed?
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73
Marilyn
About six months later he asked me again. I’d had more time to think about it and . . . well, at 38 the clock starts ticking a bit faster, so I thought "Well, what have I got to lose?”
Velcro
You poor thing.
Marilyn
Don’t pity me. I knew what I was getting into, I went in with my eyes open.
Velcro
So did you think you could change him?
Marilyn
I needed someone, Sonia, and maybe the need became greater than the ’someone’. We were both using each other in a way.
Velcro
But what about love? Wasn’t that important to you?
Marilyn
Love? I got so used to the facade that somewhere along the line I actually started to believe the fairytale myself, and then, before I knew what was happening, I accidentally fell in love with him. Pathetic, isn’t it?
Velcro
I fell in love with Robbie almost as soon as I met him – but I knew that was never going to happen. He was out and screaming for Britain.
Marilyn
Robbie. Strange how someone you’ve never met can bring your whole world crashing down.
Velcro
Yeah well. The gay thing hasn’t stopped him being my best friend. We’re like brother and sister . . . well, more like sister and sister really. But you shouldn’t compromise yourself . . . thirty-eight isn’t that old.
Marilyn Thanks! Velcro
I mean you’re not over the hill.
Marilyn
If you dig that hole any bigger we’ll have to get the Council out to close the road.
Act Two
74
Velcro
You know what I mean. My Mum was forty-three when she had me. You just need to find the right guy – someone who’s really going to make you happy. Not ’a convenience’.
Marilyn
You’ve got a wise head on those young shoulders.
Velcro
Up here for thinking, down there for dancing.
Marilyn (Touching her heart.) And in here for hurting. Velcro (Wistfully.) Yes, in here for hurting – it gets better though, if you let it. Music No. 13 – LET HIM GO Velcro THE ONLY WAY TO FREE YOURSELF LET HIM GO IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU LOVE HIM LESS LET HIM GO TO HOLD ON TO A FANTASY WILL HURT YOU IN THE END LET HIM GO AND GAIN A CLOSER FRIEND I DON’T SAY IT’S EASY THOUGH IF YOU WANT TO LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH YOU REALLY LOVE HIM LET HIM GO Marilyn I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M HOLDING ON LET HIM GO FOR IN MY HEART I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN LET HIM GO THE HARDEST PART OF LOVING HIM IS KNOWING IT MUST END LET HIM GO WHY SETTLE FOR PRETEND IF I TRY TO TELL HIM SO TELL TALE SIGNS MAY START TO SHOW HOW MUCH I REALLY LOVE HIM LET HIM GO
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75
Velcro DON’T STAY SHUT AWAY WITH ALL THOSE "MIGHT HAVE BEENS" OPEN DOORS TO "WHAT MAY BE" INSTEAD Marilyn THAT’S THE LIGHT THAT GUIDES US THROUGH THE CHANGE OF SCENES THOSE "IN BETWEENS" WE DREAD (Instrumental line.) LET HIM GO Velcro LET HIM GO (Instrumental line.) Both LET HIM GO TO HOLD ON TO A FANTASY WILL HURT YOU IN THE END LET HIM GO AND GAIN A CLOSER FRIEND Velcro THOUGH THE HEALING MAY BE SLOW WHEN WE GROW APART – Both WE GROW HE’LL KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM (Instrumental line.) SHOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM LET HIM GO . . . LET HIM GO
(Robbie runs in breathlessly and starts to grab some of his belongings. He does not see Marilyn. He is wearing the same clothes from the night before.)
Act Two
76
Robbie
Cro. Cro. You won’t believe the night I’ve had. I’ve gotta get away. Gotta get out of here. I wanted to call but I . . .
Marilyn
Dropped your phone?
(Robbie turns around.)
Velcro
Robbie this is . . .
Robbie
I know. (Acknowledging her cautiously.) Marilyn.
Marilyn
Well this is slightly awkward wouldn’t you say?
Robbie
Look I could say I’m sorry about this whole mess but . . .
Marilyn
Well are you?
Robbie What? Marilyn Sorry. Robbie
Yes. For both of us. I didn’t think it would end like this. I hoped . . .
Marilyn
What, did you hope . . . Robbie?
Robbie
I don’t know. That somehow he and I . . . it would be different.
Marilyn
Maybe if you’d chosen someone less attached.
Velcro
That’s exactly what I said.
Robbie
Not helpful, Cro. (To Marilyn.) You’re right. But I didn’t know. Not about you. Not at first. He pursued me. I was flattered. And then . . . you can’t help who you fall in love with.
Marilyn
I know exactly what you mean. For what it’s worth I don’t blame you. I guess a part of me was always prepared for this and . . . perhaps I’d armed myself without knowing it.
Robbie
I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. (Grabbing the urn containing his mother’s ashes.) Look, I’ve got to get away.
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Velcro Where? Robbie
Margate. My aunt’s there. And anyway it’s where Mum wanted to have her ashes scattered.
Velcro
For how long?
Robbie
Probably for good. I don’t have anything to stay here for.
Velcro
What do you mean?
Robbie
I’ve lost Mum’s flat and I can’t stay at yours forever, it’s not fair on Becky. My stepsisters are screwing me for money I haven’t got, and when Les gets out of prison he’s gonna steal the only thing I have got – this place.
Velcro
You’ve still got me, you twonk.
Robbie
Cro, after what happened last night! The story will be all over the papers and I’ll be painted as the villain. The rent boy. I’m not hanging around for that.
Velcro
Well, what about me?
Robbie
I’ll call you. I’ll think of something.
(Robbie is ready to leave.)
Marilyn. I’m glad to have had this chance to meet you face to face. Really I am. I only wish it wasn’t like this.
Marilyn
I appreciate that.
Velcro
So you’ll call me, right?
Robbie
I said I’ll call you.
Marilyn
You may be needing this.
(She hands Robbie his phone. Robbie moves to Velcro to kiss her goodbye.)
Act Two
78
Robbie
Thank you. Cro, I love you. So much.
(Robbie exits. Marilyn picks up her bag to go as well.)
Marilyn
Not what I expected at all.
Velcro
They’re not all mincing around screaming about equality you know. (She sits.) I can’t believe it. He’s lost everything. Why couldn’t she have written a bloody Will. I mean I know she had dementia but that’s mental.
Marilyn Who? Velcro
His Mum. She got Alzheimers and died and Les and his stepsisters are getting everything. She wouldn’t have wanted that.
Marilyn
Look I don’t mean to intrude, but, in my experience one of the first things people do when they find out they have a terminal illness is they make a Will.
Velcro
Really, well they told Robbie she didn’t.
Marilyn
Who did?
Velcro
I don’t know. His stepdad’s solicitor or someone.
Marilyn
I wonder where he looked. It’s easy enough to check these things.
Velcro Really? Marilyn
Look, take my card and call me if you wish to pursue it.
(Velcro takes the card and looks pensive.)
Are you okay?
Velcro
I will be.
Marilyn
I know you will be. Thanks.
Soho Cinders
Velcro
For what?
Marilyn
For being . . . kind.
Velcro
I didn’t do anything.
Marilyn
You did a lot. Goodbye, Sonia.
Music No. 13a – WISHING FOR THE NORMAL – REPRISE
(Marilyn exits. Velcro looks around the launderette clutching Marilyn’s card.)
Velcro WISHING WISHING HOPING FOR THE HUMDRUM IS THAT AIMING HIGH OTHERS SEEM TO FIND IT TELL ME WHY OH WHY OH WHY CAN’T I
SCENE FIVE – Campaign Headquarters Narrator
James is sitting in William’s office as he flicks through tomorrow’s headlines. “Prince puts up the rent.”
William
The Sun.
Narrator
“The Prince and the Prossy.”
William
The Mirror. Quite low brow that, don’t you think?
Narrator
Oh and yes . . . ”Prince is a queen.”
William
Daily Sport. That’s offensive even by their standards.
James
I get the feeling you are enjoying this. They certainly didn’t waste time.
79
Act Two
80
William
Well your little boyfriend didn’t exactly hold back telling the world everything he knew. Real class. You certainly can pick them.
James
I told you I didn’t know. He didn’t tell me.
William
And you? You’ve kept some things from me which I feel would have been helpful to know. Unfair?
(James stays silent.)
I can control the image, James. I can’t control the man.
James
So what now?
William
Well, I know when the horse I’m flogging is a dead one and this is over for you. You can’t recover and if you think you can, you will have to run for mayor without my help.
James
To the point as always, William.
William
Your complicated little tryst has seen the majority of your campaign funding vanish. Poof. If you’ll pardon the pun.
James Charming. William
Lord Bellingham put an end to the finances straight away. He has intimated he is prepared to back another candidate.
James Who? William
Well he has asked me if I would be prepared to consider . . .
James
Oh spare me. In fact, spare London. You haven’t got a public spirited bone in your body.
William
Well if you don’t like me you can always vote for the other guy.
James
You have got to be kidding. This has got to be a joke.
William
No joke James. I’m thinking about it.
(William gets up to exit.)
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81
I’ve read the speech you prepared. No offence James, it’s a C- minus. I think my version will play out better. You could just slink off into the night but I wouldn’t advise it. Have a think about it.
(William throws James an envelope with a speech in it and exits. James picks up his phone to dial. Robbie appears in a spotlight. His phone rings, which he answers.)
Robbie Hello. James
Robbie, it’s James. Where are you?
Robbie
Going away.
James
I just want to know why? Why would you speak to the press, Robbie?
Robbie
What? The question speaks volumes. Goodbye, James.
(Robbie puts the phone down. The spotlight fades.)
James Shit.
(Marilyn enters William’s office.)
Marilyn
William told me you were in here.
James
He thinks it’s all over.
Marilyn
Campaign or us?
James
Campaign but let’s talk about us.
(Marilyn takes off her engagement ring and places it on the table.)
Marilyn
I just want to ask you one thing, James. What changed?
James (A moment of realisation.) Nothing changed. I thought it could. I thought I could.
Act Two
82
Music No. 13b – REMEMBER US – REPRISE James NOTHING’S BLACK AND WHITE THIS IS NOT A FIGHT YOU CAN WIN ON A VOTE LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL WHEN YOU FALL YOU FALL THERE IS NO ANTIDOTE I THOUGHT I COULD CHANGE . . . Marilyn
We both did. We both wanted to believe it. It wasn’t just you.
Marilyn REMEMBER WHEN YOU POPPED THE QUESTION – NEW YEAR’S EVE James GOD, WHAT A MESS! Marilyn REMEMBER THEN I CALLED YOU CRAZY, SO NAIVE James THEN YOU SAID YES BUT WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG Marilyn RELATIVELY YOUNG Both YOU THINK THE DREAM WILL LAST . . . UNTIL . . . Marilyn
You finally wake up.
James I LOVE YOU STILL Marilyn
I know you do. But you will never love me completely. And I don’t want to fight a battle I can’t win.
James
Marilyn, please. I want you to be part of my life.
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83
Marilyn
I want all of you, not just a part.
James
I’m scared. That sounded very final.
Marilyn
It is, James.
James
I don’t know what to do. I mean what now?
Marilyn
Honesty. With the voters but more importantly with yourself. You can’t go wrong with honest. Remember?
(Marilyn exits.)
SCENE SIX – Outside Glam-Amour Clodagh and Dana are in the doorway enjoying the limelight, they are surrounded by paparazzi. Narrator
At William’s direction, the press are now camped out in Soho, across the street from Glam-Amour. Clodagh and Dana are rather enjoying the attention.
Photographer 1
Over here, darling.
Photographer 2
Clodagh, this way. Straight into the camera, love.
Photographer 3
Where’s Robbie?
Dana
He’s not here.
Photographer 1
Yeah, let’s get a shot with your little brother.
Clodagh
We’ve told you all you need to know about him . . . now, what do you think of these puppies?
Photographer 2
That’s lovely. And another one together. Smashing.
Dana
You wanna a bit of girl on girl?
Clodagh (Aside.) I think . . . I think our talent has finally been recognised.
Act Two
84
Dana
Our what?
Music No. 14 – FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Clodagh SOMEONE FAMOUS HE ONCE SAID I DON’T RECALL HIS NAME EVERYONE’S ENTITLED TO THEIR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Dana WELL THIS LOOKS LIKE OUR MOMENT LET THE TABLOIDS HUE AND CRY WE’VE GOT OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES NOW LET’S BLEED ’EM TILL THEY’RE DRY Clodagh WE WANT OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES WE’VE EARNED OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES BRING ON OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Dana BEWARE THE CLOCK IS TICKING WE’RE READY FOR THE PICKING AT LAST THE MUD IS STICKING TO OUR NAME Clodagh WE’RE GONNA SELL OUR STORY Dana THE DETAILS MAYBE GORY Clodagh WE’LL HAVE A TASTE OF GLORY ALL THE SAME Both HELLO IT’S FIFTEEN MINUTES OUR NEW LIFE CAN BEGIN IT’S TIME FOR OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME
Soho Cinders
Dana WE’LL BECOME CELEBRITIES THE DARLINGS OF THE PRESS Clodagh CAST US IN A PANTOMIME WE’LL BE A ROARING SUCCESS Dana BRING OUT A RANGE OF CLOTHING Clodagh AND A PERFUME’S SURE TO SELL Dana THEN WRITE OUR OWN BIOGRAPHY Clodagh A SHAME THAT YOU CAN’T SPELL Both (with Ensemble Oohs) WE WANT OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES WE CRAVE OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES WE’LL FILL OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Clodagh THE PRESS ARE IN OUR POCKET Dana OUR BANK ACCOUNTS WILL ROCKET Clodagh IT’S CHEAP BUT WHO CAN KNOCK IT Both IT’S A GAME Ensemble GAME! Dana OUR LIFE WAS DOWN THE TOILET A SCANDAL SHOULDN’T SPOIL IT
85
86
Act Two
Clodagh WE’RE GONNA SUSAN BOYLE-IT THAT’S OUR AIM Both (with Ensemble Oohs) WASSUP WITH FIFTEEN MINUTES IT’S SO NOT US TO WIN IT’S TIME FOR OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME (Instrumental.) Dana BIG BROTHER FIFTEEN MINUTES Clodagh KATONA FIFTEEN MINUTES Dana X FACTOR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Clodagh STEVE BROOKSTEIN FIFTEEN MINUTES Dana APPRENTICE FIFTEEN MINUTES Clodagh LEWINSKY FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Dana MATT CARDLE FIFTEEN MINUTES Clodagh AND TOWIE FIFTEEN MINUTES Dana PLEASE JEDWARD FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Both & Ensemble WE WANT OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES Clodagh GODAMMIT FIFTEEN MINUTES
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87
Dana SWEET JESUS FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME Both (with Ensemble) WE’D SAY FAREWELL TO VICES GO WHERE CHAMPAGNE ON ICE IS BUY TITS LIKE KATIE PRICE’S – WE’VE NO SHAME SINCE FAME AND FORTUNE’S BECKONED WE’RE GONNA SEIZE EACH SECOND IT’S NOT WHAT WE’D HAVE RECKONED STILL WE CLAIM OUR PRECIOUS FIFTEEN MINUTES OUR STORY MAY BE THIN IT’S TIME FOR OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME (The Photographers have started to lose interest and disperse.) GUESS THAT’S OUR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME (By the time the song ends the two girls are alone. Abandoned. Yesterday’s news.) Clodagh
Come on Sis, my G-string needs a rinse.
(On the applause, we transition to . . . )
SCENE SEVEN – Press Conference James is standing at a podium about to address the assembled press. William and Sasha are standing close by. James is reading from a prepared sheet. James
Ladies and Gentlemen, today I am withdrawing from the race to be the next London Mayor. I have not acted in a way which would meet the high demands of public office. Indeed I have betrayed . . . I have betrayed . . .
(James pauses.)
I have betrayed . . .
William (From the side of the stage.) Go on, James. Go on.
88
Act Two
(James puts down his prepared speech.)
James
It’s funny. Do you know, I didn’t even write this resignation speech? Someone else decided what the acceptable wording for the media would be. It’s been that way the whole campaign. Ultimately all the voters get is an image. Not the real person. Not me. Just a media tested image. When I was a swimmer it was simple. Me and the water. Train hard. Do your best to win. I liked the simplicity. When I entered politics I thought, work hard, be honest, be yourself and those that like you will vote for you. If you are lucky that may even be a majority. Naïve. Extremely naïve. I miss the water. I miss the simplicity. The political process won’t allow for that. Ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow the papers will announce that I had an affair with another man. It is not as they will claim it to be, but then it never is, is it? Personally I can’t see why anyone would be remotely interested in my private life. However . . . Before I leave, I must publicly do one thing. And that is to say thank you to the one person who has stood by me and even today puts my feelings before their own.
(William takes a move towards the podium, thinking James might be about to thank him.) James
Marilyn. My apology is futile but necessary and heartfelt. Without you . . . without you . . .
(For the first time we see James slightly let his emotion get the better of him.)
Without you . . . hope London finds a mayor worthy of what I believe to be the greatest city in the world.
(The press conference breaks down as James leaves the podium, closely pursued by William.) William
What the hell was that?
James
That was me, William. My voice. I didn’t expect you to recognise it or like it. But there it was.
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89
William Pathetic. James
What’s pathetic, William? Has the puppet master lost his puppet? You can always shove your hand up your own arse.
William
You’re a loser James. You always were.
James
Funny. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m winning.
(William exits.)
(James is left alone on stage and Marilyn enters.)
Music No. 15 – FINALE Marilyn
Best speech you ever made.
James
You think so? Look, Marilyn . . .
Marilyn
I know. But no matter how sorry you are, it doesn’t change “us”.
James
So what now?
Marilyn DON’T STAY SHUT AWAY WITH ALL THOSE “MIGHT HAVE BEENS” OPEN DOORS TO “WHAT MAY BE” INSTEAD THAT’S THE LIGHT THAT GUIDES US THROUGH THE CHANGE OF SCENES THOSE “IN-BETWEENS” WE DREAD James
I’ve got to get away. Avoid the press for a while. They’ve still only got Robbie’s side of the story.
Marilyn
Not Robbie’s. I suspect it is William’s side of the story.
James
But Robbie . . .
Marilyn
. . . is doing exactly what you’re doing. Avoiding the Press. He hasn’t spoken to them. He’s catching a train out of here from London Bridge.
(James exits leaving Marilyn alone.)
Act Two
90
Good luck, James.
(Music continues as we transition to . . . )
SCENE EIGHT – London Bridge Station The sound of a busy station, muffled announcements give out the times of train departures and platform numbers. Robbie is sitting on a bench. Narrator
The 14.18 train to Margate will be departing from platform five, calling at Orpington, Sevenoaks, Tonbridge, Paddock Wood, Marden . . . (List of station names fades away under.)
Robbie WISHING FOR THE NORMAL KIND OF DREAM TROUBLE IS THEY’RE HARDER THAN THEY SEEM AM I TOO AMBITIOUS? AM I OUT OF TOUCH? AM I WISHING FOR TOO MUCH? Narrator
. . . Minster, Ramsgate, Dumpton Park, Broadstairs, and Margate.
(James Prince enters.)
James DOESN’T IT SEEM STRANGE MEETING IN THIS PLACE GYPSIES OF THE ETHER WANDERERS IN SPACE . . . Robbie
Are you sure about this? Are you sure it’s what you really want?
James YOU ARE MY INTIMATE STRANGER YOU ARE MY FAR AWAY FRIEND . . . (As the music swells, they kiss.) Robbie
But because of me you had give it all up.
Soho Cinders
James
91
No, Robbie, it was because of me. Look, what I want is normal.
GOING TO A NIGHT CLUB Robbie CINEMAS AND SUCH James EATING IN NICE RESTAURANTS Robbie HAPPY TO GO DUTCH James AM I TOO AMBITIOUS? AM I OUT OF TOUCH? . . . Robbie
I don’t think so.
(They turn to find their platform as Velcro runs in (or enters on Sidesaddle’s rickshaw).) Velcro
Robbie! Robbie! Wait!
Robbie
Cro! What are you doing here?
Velcro
I spoke with Marilyn.
James Marilyn? Velcro (Sheepish.) Yeah, you know . . . well of course you know. Robbie Velcro! Velcro
Sorry! (Pulls a face as if to say “stupid me.”) She told me about these websites. Anyone can trace a Will.
Robbie
There is no Will.
Velcro
No, no you were told there’s no Will. By Les’ solicitor.
Robbie (The penny drops.) Of course I was.
Act Two
92
Velcro
Exactly. Well guess what. You’re the sole Benny . . . you’re the sole Bennyfish . . . Oh, it’s all yours, here y’are. (Hands him an envelope.)
Robbie
(Reading it.) Oh my God! Thank you Mum. You didn’t let me down.
James
I don’t believe it . . .
Velcro
No, it’s true.
James
I mean that. Look . . .
Narrator
James has spotted the live news screen on the station platform which is flashing up a breaking news story . . . ”William George forced to stand down after assistant Sasha Larkin alleges sexual harassment in the workplace.”
James
Good on you, Sasha. About time too.
Robbie
Well, see you in a bit. When this has all blown over.
Velcro
Talking of blowing over, have you told him?
James
Told me what?
Velcro
Where he’s scattering the ashes.
Robbie
Margate Pleasureland was her favourite place. What’s wrong with that?
Velcro
Yes, but not on top of the bloody log flume!
Robbie, James & Velcro WISHING WISHING HOPING FOR THE HUMDRUM – IS THAT AIMING HIGH? OTHERS SEEM TO FIND IT TELL ME WHY OH WHY OH WHY CAN’T I?
(Velcro waves them off and as she backs away she bumps into a Stranger who holds a polythene bag containing a live goldfish.)
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93
Stranger & Velcro (Awkwardly, at the same time.) Oh, I’m sorry. No it was me. Stranger
Stupid question. Do you know anything about goldfish? I just won this at the funfair. Throwing ping pong balls into jam jars.
Velcro (Checking him up and down.) No . . . no, I . . . (Stranger starts to leave . . . ) Velcro JUST IMAGINE OWNING A GOLDFISH . . .
Wait . . . !
(As a final image a photograph descends of James and Robbie on the top of a log flume holding an open urn and covered in ash.) (Curtain.) Music No. 16 – BOWS Sidesaddle COME ON GUYS! ENOUGH HESITATING CAN’T YOU SEE YOUR CARRIAGE IS WAITING NOW All YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL CINDERELLA I’LL TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, LUCKY FELLA YOUR CARRIAGE WAITS JUST STEP INSIDE Sidesaddle WELL I CAN’T DO TRICKS WITH PUMPKINS NOR NO HORSES FROM WHITE MICE BUT WHO NEEDS VEG AND VERMIN WHEN YOU’VE GOT ME FOR HALF PRICE All (Except Sidesaddle.) WELL I CAN’T DO TRICKS WITH PUMPKINS OOH, HORSES FROM WHITE MICE WHEN YOU’VE GOT SIDESADDLE FOR HALF PRICE
All YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA GO FOR A NIGHT OF GLITZ YES, YOU SHALL GO TO THE BALL, CINDERELLA AND MINGLE WITH THOSE POMPOUS GITS AND GET COMPLETELY OFF YOUR TITS AND SEE IF THE GLASS SLIPPER FITS Music No. 17 – PLAYOUT
SOHO CINDERS
an urban musical fable Music by Lyrics by Book by
GEORGE STILES
ANTHONY DREWE
ANTHONY DREWE and ELLIOT DAVIS
VOCAL BOOK
Josef Weinberger
SOHO CINDERS © Copyright 2015 by George Stiles, Anthony Drewe and Elliot Davis Edition © Copyright 2015 by Josef Weinberger Ltd., London All Rights Reserved PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL
Applications to perform this work must be made, BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to: JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED 12 - 14 Mortimer Street London W1T 3JJ United Kingdom Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616 www.josef-weinberger.com
This edition: June 2015
Musical Numbers
ACT ONE
1.
Old Compton Street (Velcro, Robbie, Clodagh & Dana, Ensemble)................ 1
2.
Wishing For The Normal (Velcro, Robbie)..................................................... 9
2a.
Wishing For The Normal – Scene Change (Instrumental)............................. 15
3.
Spin (James, William, Sasha, Ensemble)...................................................... 16
4.
Gypsies Of The Ether (Robbie, James)......................................................... 24
4a.
Gypsies Of The Ether – Tag (James, Robbie)................................................ 27
5.
I'm So Over Men (Dana, Clodagh)............................................................. 28
5a.
I'm So Over Men – Reprise (Dana, Clodagh).............................................. 33
6.
Remember Us (Marilyn, James).................................................................. 34
6a.
Old Compton Street – Reprise (Lord Bellingham)........................................ 38
7.
It's Hard To Tell (Velcro, Robbie, Ensemble)................................................ 40
7a.
It's Hard To Tell – Fade (Instrumental)......................................................... 46
8.
You Shall Go To The Ball (Velcro, Sidesaddle, Dana, Clodagh,
Lord Bellingham, Robbie, Marilyn, William, James, Ensemble)..................... 47
ACT TWO
9.
Entr'acte (Ensemble).................................................................................. 53
10.
Who's That Boy? (Ensemble, William, Clodagh, Dana, Marilyn)................... 55
11.
Glass Slippers (Robbie).............................................................................. 63
11a.
Spin – Reprise (Marilyn)............................................................................. 65
11b.
Underscore into The Tail That Wags (Instrumental)...................................... 66
12.
The Tail That Wags The Dog (William, Sasha, Ensemble).............................. 67
13.
Let Him Go (Velcro, Marilyn)..................................................................... 74
13a.
Wishing For The Normal – Reprise (Velcro)................................................. 77
13b.
Remember Us – Reprise (James, Marilyn)................................................... 78
14.
Fifteen Minutes (Clodagh, Dana, Ensemble)............................................... 80
15.
Finale (Marilyn, Robbie, James, Velcro)....................................................... 85
16.
Bows (Company)....................................................................................... 91
17.
Playout (Instrumental)................................................................................ 94
VOCAL BOOK
SOHO CINDERS No.1
Old Compton Street
Lyrics by
Anthony Drewe
NARRATOR: Old Compton Street, Soho. That promiscuous potpourri. That metropolitan munificence. That glittering back passage.
Magically slow q = 60
#4 & 4
˙.
œ
œ
Music by
George Stiles
˙.
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙
œ
pp
It's 7pm on a fairly ordinary Spring evening. Theatregoers rub shoulders with prostitutes. Local businessmen, on their way home, are having one last drink . . .
4
&
#
œ
œ
˙.
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
w
. . . as they collide with a younger crowd arriving for their first. VELCRO, a young single Mum, is making her way to get back to the launderette where she works.
˙˙ ˙
bœ bbœœ
b œœ œ
∏∏∏∏∏
bb w w bw
∏∏∏∏∏
œ œœ
∏∏∏∏∏
&
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∏∏∏∏∏
˙ ˙˙
∏∏∏∏∏
w w w
#
∏∏∏∏∏
7
Faster but colla voce q = 120
# & Ó
11
VELCRO
mp
œ
Join
# & œj œ
16
- ment
21
œ œ the par
j œ œ throb
Brightly q = 180
#
& œ
Œ
œ
j œ œ -
ty
j œ œ
be - neath your
j œ œ on
j œ œ feet,
Ó
show.
© Copyright 2012 by Soho Cinders Ltd. PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL
j œ œ
œ
Old
Comp - ton
Œ
j œ œ
Take a
j œ œ
Œ
∑
Ó
Feel
Street
j œ œ seat.
œ
Œ
w Watch
3
˙ the
œ œ
the pave -
œ œ œ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
2
# & Ó
25
No - thing's
# & Ó
norm
29
Dress
in - form
Ur
37
-
ges
#
will
Œ
& w # & œj œ -
cus
# & œj œ
48
-
° & 52
ers
sat - is
œ
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Comp - ton
Old
the
∑
jump
a
Œ
˙
step
where
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e
j œ œ
j œ œ
side
° ## j & œœ œœ
j œœ œœ
Œ
## j œ œ
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Œ
57
Comp - ton
¢&
Comp - ton
∑ j œ
j œ œ
Drink
and
## Ó
2 GIRLS
∑
Œ
œ
boys for
boys
∑
f
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boys
con - ta
-
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œœ
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Boys for
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girls
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girls
and
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gious
on
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on
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Fun
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¢&
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##
boys for
1 BOY
Œ
œ
eat
It's
Œ
sweet
Punks
Street
œœ œœ œœ
61
Ó
Fun
° ## & œœ
œ
SOLO GIRL
Ó
Œ
Œ
lite
-
side,
is
Street
-
Ó
by
life
3
Fun's
Œ
-
Œ
œ œ œ
œ
˙
Ó
in
j œ œ
Life's
∑
#
j œ œ
board,
-
∑
Street.
j œ œ
Here
Œ
Comp - ton
rich
you
Œ
Street
j œ œ
œ
j œ œ
fied
-
j œ œ
œ
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j œ ˙ œ
œ
Old
œ
as
be
on
and
al
-
j œ œ j œ œ
j œ œ
j œ œ
j œ œ
œ
on
j œ œ
Old
44
al
-
œ
33
œ œ œ
j œ œ
j œ œ
œ œ
œ
# & œ
j œ œ
œ œ
œ
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œ J
œ
wear - ing
wear - ing
j œœ ˙˙ pearls
œ ˙ J pearls
œœ
Old
œ Old
œœ
are
œ are
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° ## ˙ & ˙ 65
ALL GIRLS
No
one's
-
ALL BOYS
¢
œ œ
˙˙
# ˙ &#˙
No
-
ob
˙ ˙
œœ
one's
ob
œ œ
œœ
œœ
œœ
œœ œœ
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so
lete
so
-
-
° ## œ &
-
Œ
Ó
∑
.. œ
## œ
Œ
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..
œ
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Comp
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-
ton
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∑
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ton
?.
.
‰
..
∑
Street ROBBIE: That was lovely. LORD BELLINGHAM: Are you sure you won’t come for a drink? ROBBIE: Sorry, I’ve got to get to work. LORD BELLINGHAM: People’s washing can wait.
73
? ##
# &#
? ##
‰
œ
œ
Ó
76
œ
œ
œ
œ J
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
# & # .. ˙
° ## & Ó 87
œ
œ J
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
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‰? Ó
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
&
œ
œ
œ
˙
LORD BELLINGHAM: It gives me pleasure. Will you allow me that? ROBBIE (reluctantly): Thank you. LORD BELLINGHAM: So, when will I see you? ROBBIE: You’ve got my number. Just call.
˙
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œ
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˙
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ROBBIE
Œ
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this
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w
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ing
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pot
œ
Œ
Œ
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Some
œ
œ
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have
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and
ENSEMBLE
Oh
˙
ROBBIE: Yeah, but my rent won’t. LORD BELLINGHAM: Let me help you out. He produces a wad of banknotes from his pocket. ROBBIE: George, please — you just bought me dinner.
2nd time only
With - in
# p &#w
œ J
œ
œ J
˙
&
LORD BELLINGHAM kisses ROBBIE on the cheek. ROBBIE make his way towards the launderette. LORD BELLINGHAM (Under his breath): Oh, Robbie.
83
¢
ww
j œ
œ
Œ
lete
-
Street
80
w w
NARRATOR: Elsewhere, Velcro's best friend, Robbie, appears from the doorway of a posh restaurant.
69
¢&
œ œ
3
w
w
w
œ
œ
œ œ J some
..
œ
œ
have
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
4
° ## & œ 91
Œ
Œ
œ œ
not
A
piz
## ¢& #w
za
-
-
j j œ œ œ
'ry
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thing
‰
ev
f
ALL
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GIRLS
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105
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¢
a
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the
the
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fp
fp
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flies
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slice
Try
See
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flies
- 'ry
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j œ œ
j œœœ œœ J
j œœ œœ J
of
of
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that
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ev -
Ó
˙
w
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2
fla - vour
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ROBBIE + TENORS + BARITONES
° ## Ó &
-
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˙
w
j œ œ
œ
Oh
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stum
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on,
## w ¢& w
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you
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95
101
˙
œ
base
˙
° ## & œ.
° ## Ó &
œ œ J
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œ
2
fla - vour
œ
life
Old
Old
j œ œ
a
j œœ œœ J
-
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swarm
a
j œœ œœ J
œœj œœ J
Comp - ton
œ
swarm
j œ œ
Comp - ton
œœ
life
j œ œ
-
œ
round
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round
ROBBIE
(Mmm
Trick
or
j œœ œœ J
Œ
Trick
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j œJ œœ
Œ
meat
meat
˙
Œ
Street
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∑
Street
œœ œœ œœ
the
Œ
or
œœj œœ J
Œ
j œœ œœ J
Œ
treat,
treat,
NARRATOR: In the flat above the launderette, Dana and Clodagh appear in the window. They are sisters. They are ugly.
Œ
Ó
can
œœ œ
say?
w w
œ
Œ
Ó
can
say?
3 3
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
CLODAGH and DANA start throwing ROBBIE's possessions out of the window.
# &#
115
..
5
ROBBIE: Hey, hey . . . what are you doing?
2
VAMP
..
(1st x) CLODAGH: Heads! She drops a cardboard box. ROBBIE: That's my stuff. ROBBIE starts searching in the box. (2nd x) DANA: And that's not all. When Dad get's out of prison he wants the launderette back too.
117
? ## .. Ó
œ
œ
œ
œ
Œ
˙
˙.
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙
(1st x) DANA: We've changed the locks. You're evicted. ROBBIE: But it's my flat. Where's mum? DANA: On her way down. (2nd x) CLODAGH: But until then you've got to keep paying. DANA: Ooh, what was that?
121
? ##
125
? ##
˙.
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙
˙
œ
œ
œ
w
(1st x) DANA produces an urn containing Robbie's mother's ashes. DANA: Heads! ROBBIE: Don't you dare! Lucky me having step-sisters like you. Twins.
˙
œ
œ
œ
œ.
w
œ J
œ
œ
œ
˙.
(1st x) ROBBIE (cont'd): Not identical but equally unpleasant.. You can't do this? CLODAGH: We just have. And we're getting it fumigated. We don't want to catch gay.
129
? ##
œ J
œ.
(2nd x) CLODAGH: Yes it was. But it's not anymore is it. (to the urn) Because silly Mummy didn't leave a will, or had you forgotten?
w
œ
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‰
Œ
? ‰
Ó
j œ
œ
œ
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œ
œ
‰
& ..
& ..
#### #
DANA: He'd forget his balls if they weren't in a bag. Heads! She drops the urn into ROBBIE's outstretched hands.
# j & # .. œœœ
133
VAMP
‰
Œ
? ‰
Ó
j œ
œ
œ
œ J
œ
œ
‰
CLODAGH & DANA
# ## &# #Ó
135
f
œ
Pick
# ## &# #Ó
your
139
œ
Girls
# ## & # # œj
œœ
still
un
j œœ
142
-
sure
j œ œ
œ œ œ and
œœ
j œ œ
poi - son
œ
on
j œ
on
œ œ
ev'
Old
j œ
œ
boys
Œ
œ
œ
show
-
œœ
ry
œ œ
taste
j œ œ
Comp - ton
Œ
œœ
j œœ
and
gay
œœ is
∑
Street
j œ
œ
œ œ
j œ œ
or
j œœ J
ca
‰
j œ
straight
œœ -
œœ
tered
j œœJ
for
or
œœ
Œ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
6
° #### ˙ & #˙
Ens. GIRLS
145
Here
˙˙
œœ
œœ œœ œœ
œœ œ
ww w
Œ
˙˙
œœ
œœ œœ œœ
all
w w
Œ
where
œ œ
where
all
Ens. BOYS
#### ˙ ¢& # ˙
Here
° bb b & b ˙˙
worlds
meet
worlds
meet
œœ
Old
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
Old
Street
bb ˙ ¢& b b ˙
Ó
‰
j œ ˙
j œ œ
œ
∑
œœ
nnnn bb b n b
œ œ
œ œ
nnnn bb b n b
Comp - ton
œ œ
NARRATOR: There's a commotion outside the Prince Edward Theatre where Adele Darzeen is starring in “Frozen 5 — the Frigid Fanny”.
149
œœ
Comp - ton
œ
œ
œ J
∑
œ J
œ
œ
‰
∑
Street
153
b & b bb Ó
157
James Prince, a London Mayoral candidate, and his fiancée Marilyn Platt arrive at the theatre.
œ
œ
œ
œ
2
œ
œ
WILLIAM: Here they are, right on cue.
b & b bb
## & # ##
œ J
## & # ##
œ J
## & # ##
œ J
161
164
168
# nnnn## ##
œ J
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙
SASHA (as BIG ISSUE SELLER): Big Issue. Big Issue.
œ
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Ó
œ
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œ J
œ
∑
œ
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œ
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2
˙
∑
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ENSEMBLE
WILLIAM: Job done.
˙
œ
œ
œ J
Ó
˙
JAMES (cont'd): But here's a fiver.
œ
œ
WILLIAM: Here might be a better position.
˙
SASHA (AS BIG ISSUE SELLER): Big Issue, Big Issue. JAMES: Damn. I haven't got any change.
œ
œ
œ
Ó
mp
Œ
œ
œ
œ
nn ## n
We
# & # bœ
173
œ
œ
œ
to
spot
cel
# & # bœ
œ
œ
œ
bœ
all
too
of
ten
we
love
177
-
bœ -
eb
-
j œ œ œ ‰ œ
œ
ri - ties
no
œ œ Œ for - get
And
œ The
œ
œ œ œ -
bo - dy
œ œ œ
rea - son
why
œ
can
œ
they're
Œ
blame
œ
us
œ
œ
Œ
œ
fa - mous
œ Though
œ
But
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
# &#œ
181
œ
rol
- ling
# &#œ
œ
œ
the
red
car - pet
185
then
œ
we
œ
stop
and
2
# &#
189
#œ œ œ
#œ
œ
out
# &#œ
Œ
Ó
pound
## & œ ¢
pound
œ œ œ
rub - ber
neck
Cos
eve
f
œ
œ
œ
the
rhy
the
beat
œ œ œ the
beat
° ## & ˙ 203
Œ
same
¢&
œ œ
One
street
## w
-
the
w w
w w
No
bright
j œ œ
thm
of
w w
w w
˙˙
Ó
No
holds
barred.
that
knows
no
nw
dy
does.
-
œ.
Comp
All
the
cit
œ
ton
Street
ies
-
Œ
heat,
œ œ J
œ œ J
œ œ
j œ œ œ œ œ
up
ROBBIE
#œ And
-
œ
turn
barred.
œ
have
the
CROWD p
Ó
˙
Oh
Œ
˙
bœ
œ
things
holds
œ
œ
Old
Œ
œ œ J
buzz
œ
j œ œ
young
a
ry - bo
-
˙˙
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œ
nœ
Œ
#˙
œ
cause
œ
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shame
w
A
bright
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fac
-
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Œ
œ
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ade
whose
#˙ Oh
° ## & ˙ 207
sur
¢&
Œ
œ J
œ œ
œ
Œ
to
nœ
Ó
Ens. SATB
198
bound
œ
Where
° ## & œ
Is
œ œ œ
j œ œ
Catch
194
œ
j #œ #œ ALL
Ó
œ
7
-
œ œ œ œ face
is
thin
## w
Œ
b˙
Ó
œ œ But
˙
œ œ œ œ
hard
as
w
a
nail
œ
Œ
Ó
b˙
Ó
nnbb bw b w
w w
nn b w bb w
w w
Oh
° ## f œ. & 211
ALL
˙
Scratch
## fœ. œ. ¢&
Scratch
j œ œ œ œ it
and
œœj œœ nœœ œœ J it
and
œ
Œ
sniff
œ œ sniff
ΠSATB
Œ
Œ
œœ but
œœ.. nev
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œ. œ.
but
nev
-
-
j œœ œœ J er
œœj œœ J er
ff
w w
œœ in
-
w w
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hale
ff
-
hale
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
8
b &b b
Ó
street
ALL
œ
Ears
bb Ó ¢& b 226
-
bb œjœ b & ¢ J
ses
by
œj œ J
œœ
229 ff ALL
Try
are
burn
are
œ J
° bb ˙ & b
œ
Ears
œ
burn
œ œ œ
˙
œ
a
slice
˙
œ
ry
vice
Eve
° bb ˙˙ & b˙ 237
-
˙
œ
ry
vice
ALL
Here
bb ˙˙˙ ¢& b Here
° bb ˙˙ & b˙ 241
Comp
b ˙˙ ¢& b b
Comp
-
˙˙
œœ œ
where
all
ton
œ
Old
Comp - ton
œ
œ
œ the
œ
œ
œ
bow
flags
œœ
œœ
bow
œ œœœ œœœ
œœœ
of
life
œ œœœ œœœ
œœœ
of
life
œœœ rife
œœœ
is
all
w w w
-
is
on
œ
œ
while
-
œ œœœ œœœ
where
˙˙ -
ing
nœœ
œœœ
ton
œ
œ œœœ œœœ
œ œ J
j œ œ
while
œ
˙˙ ˙
˙ ˙˙
œ
Rain
° bb ˙ & b b ˙ ¢& b b
œ œ
-
by
slice
-
œ
Œ
a
Eve
ing
Rain
œ
ALL
-
ing
Œ
˙
233
-
œ œ J
turn
œ
œ
b ˙ ¢& b b
Try
are
œ œ
pas - ses
ff
œ
œ
CROWD Tenors
° bb j & bœ pas
œ œ
ALL ff
Heads
° bb Ów & b 223
VELCRO
2
217
the
œ
flags
˙
mf
j œ
œ J
œ
end - less
ww w
œ œ
Œ
œ
œ J
œ
Œ
ing
high
œœ
Œ
œ J
are
fly
œœj J
-
stream
œœj J
œœ
fly - ing
high
slice
˙
of
life
∑ Ó ∑
-
ry
vice
œœ ∑ ˙˙ J
œœ..
SIDESADDLE / VELCRO
ww w
Œ
œj œ J
w w w œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ev
œ
j œœJ œœ
w w w œ œ œ œ œ œ a
∑˙
stream
mf
SIDESADDLE / VELCRO
Try
ton
Street
œ
are
-
Comp
end - less
œœ
œœ
œ œ J
Œ œ
Old
is
rife
∑
rife
œœœ
œœ œ worlds
œœ œ
œœ œ
worlds
˙˙ ˙
ww w
œœœ J
meet
˙˙ ˙
‰
j œœœ ‰ J
w ww
meet
Œ
˙˙˙ Old
Œ
˙˙
Old
w w w
w w w
w w w
∑
w w
w w
w w
∑
Street
w w Street
9
No. 2
Wishing For The Normal CUE: ROBBIE: I just want to wake up beside the same man for the next thirty years.
VELCRO: . . . So do I. Someone to tell me I'm doing alright. ROBBIE: Someone to tell me when I'm being a twat. VELCRO: You're being a twat. ROBBIE: Yeah, but not you. VELCRO: I've never wanted a lot. Just my own special someone. And a father for Becky.
# Easy 2 & 2 .. 5
& 9
&
#
#
VELCRO
œ
œ
Just
im
œ
œ
-
Some - one
# j & œ œ # j & œ œ
# & œ ‹ It's
27
œ œ
j œ œ
had
œ im
œ -
pour
have
œ
your
man,
j œ œ wor
in
a
ry
œ
as
œ
Look - ing
up
œ
œ
œ
Some - one's
j œ œ
Have - n't
œ nw
it's
b˙
him
œ
life
you're
œ œ
œ
you
came in
with
Three
years
on,
œ
œ
Turn - ing
œ œ J
May - be
proud
œ
œ
mi
j œ œ
stand - ing
œ
-
j œ œ
some
w
œ
se
œ œ
and
˙
j œ œ
Ó
j œ œ
my
j œ œ
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j œ œ
done
floor
œ
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j j œ œ œ
the dance
on
œ J
Ó
œ
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one
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œ
with
..
j œ œ
out
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the night
œ
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-
j œ œ
on
j œ œ
œ œ
the
œ
face
œ
your corn - flakes
spent
j œ
to
j œ œ
ing
-
just
my
ag - ine
œ
#œ œ & J ‹ Liv - ing
31
œ
ag - ine
j j œ œ œ
Have - n't
& œ ‹ Just
j œ œ
put
17
ROBBIE
œ œ
j j œ œ œ
Have - n't
#
œ
you
13
23
4
h = 100
round
one's
to
j œ
hair
and
j œ œ
your
he
j œ œ
hand
a
in
œ J
cat
˙
Œ
share
Ó
˙
there
œ œ
there
˙
there
œ œ œ J J have
-
Œ
Ó
œ œ J
Œ
œ œ J
Œ
is
his
Ó
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
10
#œ œ & J ‹ Noth - ing
œ œ œ J J
35
that's
° # j & œ œ 41
VELCRO
Wish
#œ œ ¢& J ‹ Wish -
ing
° # j & œ œ 45
Noth - ing
#œ œ ¢& J ‹ Noth - ing
œ
œ
œ
nw
b˙
˙
cy
Tell
me
what's
wrong
with
fan
-
j œ œ
œ
œ
j œ œ
for
the
nor
-
mal
œ
œ
œ
œ
for
the
œ J
ing
-
ROBBIE
° # & œ
too
œ œ J
œ J
nor
j œ œ
œ
too
ex
œ J
œ
ex
mal
-
kind
of
˙
j œ œ
œ
w
˙
kind
of
j œ œ
j œ œ
cess - ive
-
¢& ‹
œ
Hop - ing
for
#œ
œ
œ
Hop - ing
for
° # & j œ œ
œ œ
ex
j œ œ
œ
the
hum
œ œ the
hum
Œ
œ œ ˙ -
drum
Oth - ers
# j ¢& œ œ ‹ Oth 57
-
#œ œ ¢& J ‹ Wish -
seem
œ œ
to
œ
œ it
œ
Tell
me
j œ œ
œ œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
it
Tell
me
ers
° # œj œ & Wish
j œ œ
seem
to
find
j œ œ
œ
for
the
œ
œ
for
the
ing
ing
find
œ J
œ
j œ œ
nor
-
mal
œ
œ J
œ
nor
-
mal
œ
j œ œ
˙
w
˙
treme
Ó
that
j œ œ why
on
œ œ J
why
on
Ó Ó
treme
aim
-
ing
œ œ œ œ J
Is
53
-
that
œ
Œ
-
w
œ œ œj œ
Is
œ œ ˙ -
ex
œ
drum
Ó
dream
or
49
œ
dream
œ
or
Ó
that?
w
cess - ive
-
˙
œ
j œ œ
œ
too
j œ œ
w
aim
-
ing
j œ
˙
j œ
˙
high?
can't
I?
˙
earth
I?
can't
kind
œ
of
w
˙
j œ œ
œ
w
˙
kind
of
dream
Ó
˙
œ œ œ. J J
dream
Ó
high?
j j œ œ œ. earth
Ó
Ó
Ó Ó
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° # j & œ œ 61
Trou - ble
#œ œ ¢& J ‹ Trou - ble ° # & œj œ I
# j ¢& œ œ ‹ Am I ° # & ˙
j œ
is
hard
they're
œ J
œ J
is
65
Am
j j œ œ œ
j œ œ
too
j œ œ
too
¢& ‹ 75
& 78
&
I
I
#
œ -
wish
w
˙
they
œ
œ
œ
than
Œ
œ œ ˙
Œ
seem
they
bi - tious?
j œ œ
j œ œ
j œ œ
j œ œ
I
Am
˙
w
w
ing
for
b˙
w
too
ing
for
too
Ó Ó
seem
Am
bi - tious?
-
VELCRO: Who is it?
˙
œ
out
I
Œ
œ
˙.
of
touch?
œe
out
˙.
of
Œ
touch?
w much?
w %
w
˙
Ó
˙E
Ó
much?
3
ROBBIE's phone rings. His face lights up.
#
w
than
er
-
œ
er
œ bœ ˙
-
˙
b˙
Am
-
wish
œ
hard
b˙
b˙
# b˙
am
am
69
Am
they're
œ
-
j œ
œ
œ
œ
11
3
ROBBIE: It's him! Hello . . .
####
UNDERSCORE SECTION
## &##
81
˙˙ ˙˙ p
# ## &#
85
## &##
89
j œœ œœ
VELCRO: Ask about the brother.
œœ.. œœ. .
˙˙ ˙˙
œœ.. œœ. .
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
œœ. œœ...
˙˙ ˙˙
ROBBIE (cont'd): Yeah sure I'd love to. Usual time. By the lions.
j œœ œœ
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
j œ œ
œ œ
œœ
œœ
j œœ œœ
œœ. œœ...
˙˙ ˙˙
ROBBIE (Cont'd): Alright. Go. Go . . .
œœ. œ .. œ.
j œœ œœ
ROBBIE: Shush! No not you. I'm just at work.
j œ œœœ
œœ. œœ... j œ œœœ
œœ. œœ...
œ œœœ
˙ ˙˙˙
œ
œ
œ
ROBBIE hangs up.
˙ ˙˙ ˙
˙ ˙˙ ˙
œœ.. œ.
j œ œ
œ œ
œ œ
œœ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
12
## &##
93
## &##
˙ ˙˙ ˙
j œœ œœ
œœ.. œœ. .
˙˙ ˙˙
## &##
˙˙ ˙˙
## & # # .. ‹
115
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
œœ. œœ .. .
œ
œ
œ
œ
VELCRO
& œ
œ
œ
Sit - ting
on
#œ œ & J ‹ Liv - ing #œ œ & J ‹ Feel- ing
with
œ
œ J
œ œ œ J J I
am
j œ œœœ
œœ. œœ...
˙ ˙˙˙
œ J
œ
œ
j œ œ
œ
œ
œ
Like
those
œ
œ
œ œ
j œ œ
j œ œ
œ
leath - er
in
œ J
some
œ
rea
œ -
-
œ
one
so
- fa
œ
œ
Bab - ies
œ
œ
nw
b˙
Not
some
sad
al
œ
j œ œ
œ
˙ ˙˙˙
œ
œ
œ œ
œœ
œ œ
˙
on
T
œ œ
j œ œ
on
œ œ œ J J
-
œ
j œ œ
boun - cing
when
œ
œ
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ad - verts
Lov - ing
son
œ
œ
œ œ J
Ó
œ
œ
œ
- ne
œ J
œ
œ
n˙ w ww
œ
las - ag
fake
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œœœ.. .
nw nnw ww
ing
-
cook
our
-
˙ ˙˙˙
œœ
j œ œ
œ œ œ J J
ROBBIE
œœ
œœ
œ œ
- ag - ine
im
j œœ œœ
œœ. œœ...
˙˙ ˙˙
œ
j œ œœœ
œœ. œœ...
ROBBIE: (Cont'd): Then when I do see him, I just want more . . .
œ
œ
ROBBIE: Cro! Leave it!
ww w w
VAMP - if needed
j œœ œœ
œ
ROBBIE: I mean it's hard to get together. He's so busy - it's texts. It's Skype.
˙˙ ˙˙
# & œ ‹ Just
131
j œ œ
ROBBIE: Yes. I really like him. It's just so hard.
j œœ
ROBBIE
127
‰
œœ. œœ...
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
VELRO Spare me the details!
119 mf
#
w ww w
˙
˙˙ ˙˙
VELCRO: You really like him don't you?
˙˙ ˙˙
123
n˙ w ww
VELCRO: Feeding time?
j œœ œœ
œœ.. œœ. .
˙˙ ˙˙
## &##
111
nw nnw ww
ww w w
˙˙ ˙˙
103
107
VELCRO: By the lions! What is he a zoo keeper? ROBBIE 'Cro, Leave it.
VELCRO: I never knew zookeepers earned that much. ROBBIE: You'll meet him when the time is right.
99
## &##
˙ ˙˙ ˙
I
œ œ J
Œ
œ œ J
Œ
V
my
œ J
..
˙
knee
˙
Ó
can
˙
w
so
ran
˙
Ó
n n n#
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° #œ &
VELCRO
137 mp
œ
Just
¢& ‹
mow
-
j œ œ
ing
œ
Just
ag - ine
-
#
j œ œ
œ œ break
-
fast
j œ œ in
∑
° #œ & 145
œ
Just
im - ag - ine
#
œ œ J
do
the school
Ó
ff
˙
Œ
w
Wish
E
bb w E ¢& b b ‹ Wish ff
° bb b & b œ 157
œ
œ
j œ ‰
Hop - ing
for
bb b œ ¢& b ‹ Hop
œ
- ing
° bb b & b j œ œ
œ
for
the
hum
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hum
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œ
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own
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ping
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j œ œ
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some corn
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drum
me
bb œ œ ¢& b b œJ œ œJ œ œ ‹ Oth - ers seem to find
œ
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œ
it
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me
œ
a
shed
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œ
a
nbb b b
gold - fish
nbb b b
∑
w
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w
-
w
Is
ing
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for pic - nics
Is
œ œ ˙
ing
-
œ œ J -
œ œ J
œ œ J
j œ ‰
œ œ J
w
-
aim
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ing
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that
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ing
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w
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w
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find
pop
j œ œ
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ing
-
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it
to
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seem
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drum
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Keep
œ œ ˙
-
-
œ œ
run
œ
Oth - ers
œ œ
œ
Ó
161
j œ œ
œ
ing
-
œ œ
im
œ
Wish
w
-
Just
ing
-
w
-
œ
∑
˙.
w
-
œ
Œ
Go
149
∑
bed
œ œ J
ing
-
∑
° bb b Ó & b
mp
∑ œ œ
œ
∑
ROBBIE
∑
œ
im
Œ
the lawn
∑
141
¢& ‹
ag - ine
-
#
° #œ & ¢& ‹
im
j œ œ
œ œ
œ
13
ing
j œ
˙
j œ
˙
high?
œ.
œ œ œ œ œ œ. J
œ.
why oh why oh why can't
Ó
high?
œ œ œ œ œ œ. J
why oh why oh why can't
Ó
œ œ œ
Œ
œ œ œ
Œ
I?
I?
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
14
° bb b œ œ & b J 165
Wish
-
bb b œ œ ¢& b J ‹ Wish ° bb & b b œJ 169
ing
œ œ J
œ œ
for
the
œ œ J ing
œ
Trou - ble
œ J
œ J
œ J
œ J
is
bbb œJ œ b & ¢ ‹ Trou - ble
nor
the
is
mal
-
œ œ
for
j œ œ
œ œ J œ œ J
nor
mal
-
œ
j œ
they're
hard
œ
œ J
they're
hard
œ
kind
œ
of
w
˙
œ œ J
œ
w
˙
kind
œ
-
œ -
dream
of
Ó Ó
dream
er
œ
than
œ
they
w
˙
œ
œ
œ
w
˙
er
than
they
seem
Ó Ó
seem
VELCRO
173
mf
b & b bb œj œ
Go - ing
177
ROBBIE
b & b bb œJ œ ‹ Eat - ing
° bb b œ œ & b J 181
j j œ œ œ
j œ
œ bœ ˙
Œ
œ œ œ J J
œ J
œ œ ˙
Œ
to
a
in
a
VELCRO
Am
I
bb œ œ ¢& b b J ‹ Am I ROBBIE
° bb b & b #˙
œ œ J too
œ œ J too
185
Am
b b n˙ ¢& b b ‹ Am
night
n˙ I
n˙ I
rest
œ am
-
club
-
'rant
Œ
bi - tious?
œ J
œ œ J
œ œ J
Œ
œ œ J Am
n˙
#˙ -
#˙ wish
œ œ œ J J
Am
bi - tious?
wish
œ œ J
-
Hap - py
œ bœ ˙ -
j œ
Cin - e
œ œ ˙
œ am
-
j j œ œ œ
j œ œ
-
ing
˙.
Œ
˙.
Œ
œ
˙.
Œ
out
of
touch?
œ œ J
œ
˙.
out
of
touch?
mas
to
I
I
w
and
such
go
dutch
w
for
too
n˙
w
w
ing
for
too
Œ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° bb b & b w 189
w
w
w
w
w
w
15
4
much?
bb b w ¢& b much? ‹
4
ROBBIE
197
bb &b b œ ‹ Just mf
201
b & b bb
im
œ ag
-
œ
œ -
ine
clean
VELCRO
œ
Just
205
œ
b & b bb œ ‹ Just
ROBBIE
œ
im
-
œ
ag
œ
-
œ
ine
œ
im
-
ag
œ
plant
ine
ing
-
j œ
the
ing
hav
œ
Vol
j œ
œ
-
œ
vo
-
˙
a
∑
w
rose
∑
w
bush
-
œ J
œ
œ J
œ
-
ing
a
mort
œ
œ -
w
gage
VELCRO
208
b & b bb
p
∑
œ
Just
211
œ J
œ
œ
œ -
œ J
rall.
b & b bb w
œ
im
-
œ
ag
-
œ
ine
œ
keep
j œ -
œ
ing
j œ a
˙ gold
ROBBIE: A goldfish? VELCRO: Yeah. I won one once. At a funfair. Throwing ping pong balls in a jam jar. ROBBIE: You saddo!
U ∑
w
∑
fish
No. 2a
Wishing For The Normal — Scene Change TACET
-
16
No. 3
Spin CUE: JAMES: That poster slogan reflects how I want to run London. With honesty.
4
WILLIAM: James . . .
With Tension q = 170
JAMES: We'll talk on the way.
4 & b4 ‹ JAMES
5
mf
&b œ œ œ œ ‹ How can you go
8
&b Œ ‹
œ Plain
12
&b œ ‹ -
15
œ
œ
œ
wrong
œ
with
talk - ing
ioned
that's
what
peo
œ
œ
œ
Hid
-
den
by
3
3
œ
play
it
-
How
œ
a
smoke
œ
est?
‰
j œ How
œ
œ
œ
can
you
can
you
when
did
3
cli
œ
œ
Buzz words will
œ
give
wrong
Since
of
œ
go
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
screen
Ó
œ
œ
œ
straight
& b bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ ‹ tend to win the race in &b œ ‹ -
œ
œ
with
œ
my
œ
way
own
sim
-
Œ
3
œ
way
Œ
œ
œ
to
to
lies
œ
œ
and
œ œ
old
œ sleaze?
fash-
œ
Œ
wait
œ œ I
in -
JAMES
œ œ œ œ œ
How can you
œ
truth
I
∑
œ
ple
be - come
˙
œ
œ
che?
just have
w
œ
œ
de - cen - cy
œ -
œ
œ œ œ œ œ
WILLIAM: They all think they can do it on their own.
19
24
œ
œ
Œ
ple want
œ
Œ
œ
œ
est?
-
j œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
j œ
&b œ œ œ œ ‹ prom - ised that I'd
‰
œ
œ
hon
œ
œ
‰
œ
Œ
œ œ
go wrong with hon -
œ
œ
I
ask
œ
you
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book 27
&b œ ‹ what
œ
œ
is
there
30
& b œj ‹
ment
33
for
3
3
œ
-
œ
And
who
made
serv
-
de
œ
ants
we
j œ
œ
œ
‰
bœ
œ
œ
œ e
œ
more
re
œ
œ
œ
ar - ro - gance
they're
œ
far
œ
a
œ
job
˙
a - bove
œ
re
quire -
Œ
œ
lect?
-
Who
j œ œ œ œ œ
Some - how
serve
-
œ j œ œ
Œ
hall
œ
don - ers
œ
œ
˙.
œ
j œ
œ
œ
pub - lic
ci - ty
37
œ
œ
the
&b œ œ œ œ ‹ think that once in & b bœ ‹ Lon
gain?
œ
œ
œ
Œ
œ
to
j œ
œ
œ
œ
17
Œ
˙
it
œ œ
all
I
2 2
∑
w
spect
-
WILLIAM
41
2 & b2 Œ ‹
45
&b Œ ‹
49
&b Œ ‹
53
&b Œ ‹
° bSASHA & ˙ 57
mf
œ œ œ
At
the end
Spin
the
day
it's
œ
œ
oars - man
bœ
œ
œ
œ
I'll
steer
you
œ
You
may
be
˙
Down
stream
Œ
the
œ
to
vict
‰
j œ
œ
spin
Œ
‰
j œ spin
œ
all
a - bout
Œ
Œ
œ
˙
That
dream
œ œ
œ
out
of
œ œ
œ
out
of
a
œ œ œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
Through
all
the
big
re - mem - ber
-
ice
a
con
trol
œ œ
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con
trol
-
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Œ
Ó
box
œ œ
œ
Œ
Ó
the
œ
œ
-
I'm
œ
œ œ
œ œ
in
œ
off
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Œ
cross
œ
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Œ
œ
œ œ
but
'ry
-
Œ
œ
OFFICE WORKERS
˙
of
j œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ
Spin
¢& b ‹
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a
cox
œ œ de -
œ -
˙.
œ
bates
œ
˙.
waits
j œ œ.
˙
j œ œ.
˙
think
∑ ∑
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
18
° bŒ & 61
j œ
‰
œ
Sign
¢& ‹
bŒ
j œ
‰
œ
Sign
° b & ˙ 64
œ
œ
œ
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the
pa
-
per
œ
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œ
œ
the
pa
-
per
˙
Ó
Œ
b ¢& ˙ ‹
˙
Ó
Œ
° b & ˙. 68
Œ Œ
œ work
-
œ.
and
sell
-
tor
eve
j œ
œ
œ œ
j œ œ œ.
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NARRATOR: With that, and a modicum of tastefully applied make-up for the cameras, James is off to the TV studios for another round of gruelling interviews from a variety of forgettable presenters sitting on an array of tasteless sofas
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..
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which go some way to explain why DFS has a sale on every day of the year.
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24
No. 4
Gypsies Of The Ether CUE: NARRATOR: Robbie is found beside one of the lion's paws.
4
Having just listened to a phone message ROBBIE starts to write a text.
# #6
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Upper - ROBBIE Lower - JAMES
101
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117
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Passionately q. = 80
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JAMES: "A week without you seems like forever."
˙˙..
˙˙..
..
REPEAT AND FADE
∑
..
27
No. 4a
Gypsies Of The Ether - Tag CUE: ROBBIE: The leader of the opposition. "How's that going? I can always help . . . "
JAMES: Oh, Robbie. (beat) Look you heard . . .
JAMES hugs ROBBIE ROBBIE (breaking the hug): You've got to go.
4
# #6
Etherial q. = 70
## &#
5
## & # Œ.
9
ROBBIE: Couple of days.
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Upper - ROBBIE Lower - JAMES p
17
Go!
JAMES
You
13
4
JAMES: Couple of days?
mes
nœ. œ. -
sag
-
œ. œ.
nœ. œ.
es
we
ff
˙. ˙. send
˙. ˙.
˙˙..
∑
28
No. 5
I'm So Over Men CUE: DANA: You're like a bowling ball you. CLODAGH: Bowling ball? DANA: Yeah, picked up, fingered, thrown back down the alley. CLODAGH: I tell you, I'm getting too old for this game. Too many disappointments. DANA: Maybe we should give 'em up altogether.
3
Bitterly q = 130
b 4 & b bb 4
Ó
DANA
mp
Œ
‰
j œ I
5
bb &b b œ wish
œ they'd
œ bœ
œ
œ
Œ
‰
j œ
in - vent
8
b & b bb ˙
œ
œ
a
œ
œ
nic - or - ette
j œ œ
Just
œ
slap
patch
j bœ œ
it
œ
œ
how would
14
b & b bb œ
I
b & b bb
œ
œ
fill
‰
j œ
Right
17
œ
œ
sud - den - ly
œ
pass
## &##˙
in
the
Ó
old
in
œ
bull
œ
in
my
œ
gone
is
‰
j œ
give
œ
Œ
Œ
wrong
j œ
Mis
ter
-
œ
They're
Œ
Œ
n ## j n nn # # œ
‰
A
œ œ
on
men
But
crap!
to nights
up
j œ œ
the
œ
œ
j œ
œ
œ
œ
lap
nœ œ œ
Fare - well
are
al - ways
œ
love
œ
j œ œ
Œ
˙.
the
pull
Faster q = 154
# ## &#
25
of
Ó
˙
œ
œ
œ œ œ œ œ
Fall - ing
21
load
œ
me
poco più mosso
It's
˙
œ
help
œ
crav - ings
j œ
then?
night
œ œ œ
‰
˙
j œ œ
œ bœ
Your
lands
j œ œ œ bœj ˙ œ
shits who
œ
days
œ
j œ
on
œ
my
œ
œ
Who
œ
‰
To
‰
11
b & b bb
Œ
œ
f
œ
œ
I'm
so
ov
## &##œ
œ
œ
as
for
œ
29
And
# ## &# œ
33
Some
œ œ -
er
Ó
œ
œ
men
œ œ the
Œ
œ
I
œ
Œ
Œ
‰
sex
j œ
There's
œ
œ
œ
œ
seem
hot
till
the
œ
œ
rum - py
œ
pump
œ
starts
don't
œ
need
al - ways
‰
a
j œ œ
œ
œ
œ œ
D.
j œ Then
I.
œ
œ
guy
j œ Y.
Œ
Ó
Œ
Ó
œ
œ
œ
they're
not
œ
worth
œ the
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
## &##œ
36
sum
œ
j œ ‰
œ
of
their
parts
œ
œ
œ
## &##œ
39
it
and
œ
œ
œ
Lie
Œ
‰
œ nœ
scream
a - gain
## &##Ó
47
‰
œ
I'm
so
j œ I
50
b & b bb œ
œ
œ
b & b bb œ bœ
œ
Re - hab
œ
to
give
œ
œ
56
to
the
shame
poco più mosso
b & b bb
œ
œ
b & b bb œ
Œ
œ
may - be
59
œ
I'll
find
Œ
up
bb &b b
Œ
œ
Œ
‰
pants!
67
&
####
I've
œ
ov
œ œ
er
-
j œ
I
œ
j œ
j œ œ I
œ
have
could
men!
join
guys who don't
œ
look
-
ing
œ
œ
it
be - fore
said
œ
˙
j œ
‰
œ
im - pressed
œ
œ
Fake
œ
œ
œ
and
I'll
say
2
Ó
œ
‰
a
j œ
Just
œ
‰
j œ œ
shag
Aw - ay
-
ging
œ
œ
from
go
great lengths
to
on
œ œ
œ
say
your
j œ
˙
œ
Œ
œ œ
non - y - mous
group
j bœ œ
j œ
‰
name
Face
Œ
‰
j œ
gain
-
Then
˙
ra
œ -
Ó
-
œ
œ
ges
and
œ œ œ œ œ
Fall - ing
Ó
˙
it's
œ
j œ
a
the
˙
œ œ œ
-
j œ œ
œ
œ
j bœ
now
œ
an
j œ œ œ
## nnnn # # ˙
From
œ
Œ
strengths
œ œ œ
j œ
œ
j œ #œ
‰
Con - fess you've been
œ
Try
best!"
˙
men
‰
Of
63
j œ
œ
53
up
Œ
œ œ bœ
wish
j œ
back
œ
Bitterly q = 130
nnnnbb b b œ
CLODAGH
Œ
œ
œ
œ
your
œ
"You're the
## &##œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ
on
42
it
œ
29
œ
clear
I'll
in
have
a
so
is
œ œ
lo
-
Faster q = 154
Œ
˙.
72
Talk
œ
I'm
eer
# ## &# œ
f
œ -
ing
œ
œ
so
ov - er
œ œ
through their
œ œ
œ
arse
œ
Œ
œ
Œ
Ó
œ
men
Ó
œ
œ
œ œ
Brag - ging they're top
œ
œ
Think - ing
j œ œ
with their
j œ
crotch
notch
œ
œ Œ
rants
œ
love
nœ œ œ
œ
Œ
Ó Ó
car -
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
30
## &##œ
76
How
œ
œ
œ
I
dread
each
# ## j &# œ œ
79
know
j j ‰ œ œ
aren't
# ## &# œ
œ for
œ
The
Œ
œ
œ
fam - il
œ
mine
82
œ
œ
toi
-
let
‰
œ nœ
ro - mance
Not
## &##
91
& 95
& 99
a - gain
œ
œ
I'm
so
& 107
&
œ
&
œ œ
er
-
men!
said
œ
œ
in
bed
œ
œ
œ
œ
that
I
‰
j œ
œ
on
the
soap
œ
œ
œ
it
be - fore
œ
As
and
w
œ
œ
œ
I'll
say
w
2
œ
œ
œ
nnnn
CLODAGH: Ah, Robbie Shitty Shirtlifter - just in time. Service wash. Low temperature.
œ
w
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
w
DANA Thats' quality schmutah, that is. Don't shrink it. ROBBIE picks up a G-string from the bag ROBBIE: I think somebody already did. CLODAGH: I don't know why Dad didn't just kick you out when your Mum died.
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
w
œ
œ J
œ
œ
œ J
w
4
You're like a milestone around his neck. ROBBIE: It's millstone. And Les is no father of mine. CLODAGH: Whatever.
w
Point is you and the scrubber ain't got long. DANA: Basically . . . CLODAGH: At the end of the day . . .
w
˙.
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ J
œ
œ
> œ J
‰
œ
œ
œ
>œ.
œ
DANA: I'm not being funny . . . CLODAGH: Or nuffin . . .
DANA throws a thong at ROBBIE, who exits.
110
j œ #œ
‰
I've
ov
œ
There's pubes
hope!
œ
œ
œ
up
Œ
& 103
Farts
œ
seat's
œ
They emerge on the pavement with their bag of laundry. ROBBIE approaches and they spot him. They thrust the laundry in his face.
Più mosso q = 164
œ
sign
œ
a
j œ
‰
œ
ar
-
œ
## &##œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
89
i
-
œ
œ
85
it
œ
œ J
œ
œ
œ
>œ J
Ó
œ
œ
Œ
BOTH: Sling your hook!
œ
‰
œ
œ.
œ >œ.
œ
Ó
j œ >
œ
Œ
‰
DANA
œ
mf
‰ bœj If
>œ
bbbb
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book 113
b & b bb œ œ œ bœ œ they had
a
j œ
‰
jab
give
CLODAGH
116
b & b bb
Ó
˙
œ
it
a
stab
œ bœ œj
œ
Pain - less
and
‰
œ
œ
stead
## &##
123
the
BOTH
œ
œ
I'm
so
ov
## &##œ
œ
œ
œ
127
Those
CLODAGH
Act
## &##œ
œ u
-
œ œ er
-
œ
œ
us
down
like
ice
but
then
try
## j &##œ œ
137
fronts
## j &##œ œ
140
cans
j œ œ
to
to
œ
No
Œ
j œ œ
foot
-
j œ Do
and
œ
œ
I'll
say
im - mune
œ
j œ
œ
lit - tle
prick
to
‰
‰
men
BOTH
j œ
In -
2
They laugh raucously.
## nnnn # #
to
œ
I
think
don't
œ
œ
miss
when
pissed
j œ
œ
j œ
j œ
œ
DANA
‰
j œ œ
Fags
‰ #œj
so!
Œ
DANA
j œ œ
Cold
piz
‰
them?
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ it
a - gain
in
œ
vice:
œ
wear
j œ œ
‰
j œ
j œ œ
œ
-
za
BOTH
œ nœ
Do
we
Ó
œ
the
-
Ó
Œ
œ
œ ad
j œ
Œ
œ
missed
My
œ
œ
they're
what they've
‰
watch
œ
œ œ
œ
know
j œ œ
ball
we
# ## & # #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ be - fore
œ
melt
œ nœ
œ
143
it
œ
œ
to
œ
‰
‰
œ
not
CLODAGH
chuck
Ó
œ
wash
j œ œ
Ó
Don't
œ
belt
Œ
Ó
Œ
œ
œ
œ
one
'spec - 'ly
œ
œ
œ
men
j œ ‰
œ bœ
Just
œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
make me
ten!
Œ
œ
chas - ti - ty
said
œ
al
-
œ
j œ
quick
œ
134
-
œ
us
who've turned
## &##œ
131
œ
œ
of
j œ
To
‰
119
b & b bb
‰
œ œ œ œ œ
I'd
31
œ
sink
Y -
crusts
and
Œ
‰
fuck!
œ
œ
I'm
so
a
œ Beer
j œ
I've
œ
ov
-
œ œ
er
men!
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
32
## &##w
146
w
## &##Œ
150
DANA
## &##Œ
154
## &##Œ
œ.
No
more
## &##Œ
preg
-
j œ œ
Œ
Œ
nan - cy tests
œ.
j œ
j œ œ
No
more
ov
-
#œ
œ.
j œ
j œ œ
No
more
"I'm
#œ
œ.
j œ
No
more
"My
mf
f
BOTH
#œœ
œœ..
No
more
## j & # # œœJ nœœ
j œ œ
Œ
Œ
er - night guests
go -
meet
## &##Œ
172
j œ œ wife
j œœ J
"Can't
j œœ nœœ J
169
j œ œ
Œ
Œ
ing bald"
my
moth
-
œœ
œ. œ.
j nœœ J
No
more
"Made
# ## & # œœ #œœ it
œœ
œœ a
-
men
j œœ J
j œœ J
we
œ
œ.
No
more
œ
œ.
No
more
œ
œ.
No
more
œ
œ.
No
more
each
œ
gain
w w
œœ..
No
more
w w
oth
Œ
j œ
j œ œ
need
j œ get -
bites
j œ
tions
œ nœ œ œ J
need
j œ œ
hands
"Here's
small por -
j œ œ
love
tions
-
œ nœ œ œ J
ing
j œ
j œœ J
pre - cau
j œ œ
hi
ding
-
œ nœ œ œ J
that
Œ j œœ J
œ nœ œ œ J
for
friends?"
#œœ
j œœ nœœ J œœ
œœ
be
er"
œœ
Œ
œœ
Œ
for
œœ
Œ
just called"
j œœ nœœ J
A tempo q = 164
w w
j œ œ
œœ
œ
rall.
175
## &##
j œ œ
CLODAGH
162
178
j œ
#œ DANA
mp
## &##Œ
œ
CLODAGH
158
166
p
∑
w
need
guid
œœ
œ. œ.
No
more
ing
-
j nœœ J
"First
œœ
j œœ J
œœ
where
it
ends"
Œ
dictated
Uj j f œ œœ œœJ #œœ J u -
er"
I've
said
œœ
œœ
œœ
it
be - fore
n˙˙
˙ ˙
˙˙
I'm
so
ov
w w
œœ
œœ
œœ #œœ
and
-
I'll
U ˙˙ u
say
"
er
∑
No. 5a
33
I'm So Over Men (Reprise) CUE: CLODAGH & DANA: "Oh yes we will."
Freely DANA
##4 & # #4
mp
¿
You're
## &##
5
CLODAGH
œ
Nev
-
¿
¿
all
o
œ
er
had
## &##œ
BOTH
One
ver
-
a
Œ
¿
Ó
Like
Œ
œ
Ó
mayor
Fit
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
last
fling
then
we'll
call
## & # # œ œ œ œ œj ‰ œ œ
œ
œ
it
œ
a
12
have it
a
way
-
This might
## & # # œœ
Œ
## & # # œœ
œœ
19
a
I'm
23
O
o
O
# ## &#
˙
-
hall
And, in
ver
œœ
œœ
œœ
O
-
ver
œ œ œœ œ œ
Œ
ver
gon - na
O
œ
œ
œ
get
œ
" 3œ 4œ
-
ver
my
leg
ov - er
j œ
œ
j œ
num - ber
œœ
we'll
œ
œ
œ œ œ to
his
par - ty
O
-
ver
œœ
œœ
O
-
œœ
œœ
œœ
œœ
O
-
ver
-
A tempo q = 164
œ
¿ ¿
n
-
œœ
ver
œ
te
œœ
-
œ
then
œœ
O
˙
œ
bling
œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
O
œ
some
œ
Go
˙ œ œœ ˙ œ
Œ
œ
‰ œj
chance
time,
œ
œ
œ
love a
j 4 œJ 4 œœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ I'm
‰
- ver
37
˙˙
œ œ œœ œ œ
men
Give
œœ œœ œœ
-
men
## & # # œœ œœ ˙˙ ## ˙ &##˙
-
œœ œœ
ver
-
ci - ty
œœ œœ œœ œœ
so
28
33
To - day
Œ
œœ
one
œ œ œ
Ó
cash
Buy
‰ œj #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
dance
œœ
be the
day
Ó
Œ
œ
of
j œ
‰
‰ œj
œ
loads
Œ
œ
rash
œ
œ
with
œ
flam - ing
Slower
## & # # ‰ œ nœ œ Œ
16
have
œ œ œ
some
œ
œ
œ œ
œ
œ
œ
men
œ œ
œ
Picking up pace q = 140 9
¿ ¿
Men!
œ œ -
-
œ
n>œ
w
Œ
Ó
œœ
ver
œœ
œœ
-
-
34
No. 6
Remember Us CUE: MARILYN: That bad.
MARILYN: But that was the deal. Remember?
# #6
Colla voce
Œ.
‰
‰
œ
#œ
œ J
œ.
œ
JAMES: Yes, I do. It seems like a lifetime ago.
œ.
œ
#œ J
nœ
œ
œ.
œ
˙.
With Movement q. = 65 MARILYN
## &# ‰
6
° ### ‰ & 10
mp
j œ
œ œ.
œ œ
Re - mem - ber MARILYN
when
¢& ‹
our
heads
were
‰
∑
mp
### ‰ ‰ j j œ œ œ ‰
I
don't
###
#œ
œ œ.
i
œ.
deals
-
∑
ΠThen
j #œ
nœ
Œ.
œ
œ
how
∑ œ œ
œ
some - how
œ œ.
‰
œ
j œ
œ
that
feels
a
Œ.
‰ ‰
plus
mem - ber
∑
us
∑
24
###
œ œ.
œ œ
Re - mem - ber
∑
when
j œ
œ
œ
j œ
∑
you
dreamt
you'd
∑
j œ
be
œ.
œ
like
∑
j œ
Re -
˙.
œ
œ. ∑
j œ ˙.
ev' ry - thing's
re
œ
∑
œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ
∑
mem - ber - when
° ### & ‰ ¢& ‹
œ
big
re - mem - ber
Re - mem - ber - then
¢& ‹
of
∑
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j œ
œ
But when you're young
20
full
j œ
œ.
œ
∑
œ
∑
° ### Œ. &
j œ
JAMES
∑
14
j œ
∑
Re - mem - ber then
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œ
œ œ.
œ œ
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œ
œ
œ
Ro - bin
œ
Hood
∑
œ.
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° ### ‰ & 28
∑
œ œ.
œ œ
35
∑
∑
Re - mem - ber then
¢& ‹
###
∑
° ### ‰ & 32
œ
### & ¢ ‹
œ J
œ
We'd
‰
talk
for
37
‰ ‰
œ
j œ
I
know
not
‰
˙.
‰
œ
of
œ
Some
∑
œ œ.
all
j œ œ
hours
∑
° ### Œ. &
œ
big
j œ
œ
it
œ
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world
cri
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was
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∑
j œ œ. œ #œ
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œ
to
dis - cuss
∑
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good
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sis
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∑
∑
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Re - mem - ber - when
### & ¢ ‹
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∑
42
Strange
œ.
œ
that
you
### & ¢ ‹ ° ### & 46
### & œ. ¢ ‹ No ° ### & œ. 50
œ. de
-
œ
and
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œ.
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ver
-
j #œ nœ
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have
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us
we
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mud - dle
through
∑
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###
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∑
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∑ ∑
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-
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fy
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∑
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#œ.
the best
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∑ Œ.
œ In
œ
œ
your whole
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
36
° ### & 56
∑ Œ.
˙.
60
Œ.
œ
-
œ
œ.
mail
won't
° ### & œ. 68
œ
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phone
Yes
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was
œ
œ
œ
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œ
œ
œ
j œ
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76
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64
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gone
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us
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er
last
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Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° bb & 80
¢& ‹
∑
bb œ.
œ.
Still
I'm
° bb & œ. 85
hand
¢& ‹
bb œ.
hand
stuck on
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glove
your
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go
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mf
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mf
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glove
still
seem
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still
˙.
love
˙.
we
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go
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∑
per - fect
˙. team
œ œ œ The
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˙.
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Œ.
seem
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∑
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∑
˙.
we
And
˙.
b ˙. ¢& b ‹ in
œ.
∑
˙.
in
per - fect
˙. team
2
˙.
ma - ny
2
years
∑
∑
love
° bb & 99
∑
j j œ œ œ
Œ
But
œ
œ
Laugh - ter
° bb & œ œ œ œ 103
eve - ry - thing''s
bœ œ œ œ ¢& b ‹ eve - ry - thing's 108
I'm
œ œ œ
you
œ.
91
° bb &
œ.
œ œ œ
° bb ˙. &
b . ¢& b Œ ‹
œ.
37
œ and
j œ a
j œ a
˙.
when you're
‰
young
‰
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tears
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‰
‰
plus
j œ
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∑
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some - how
young
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MARILYN: Now come to bed . . .
∑
mem - ber when?
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∑
‰ nœj
‰
plus
Re -
JAMES: One more email and I'll be up. Promise. MARILYN: It's been a while.
∑
b . . ¢ & b bœ œ œ œ ‹ mem-ber then
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"
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us
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Slower rall.
∑
U ∑
∑
U ∑
38
No. 6a
Old Compton Street (Reprise)
CUE: VELCRO: How much is there?
ROBBIE: I... dunno. You count it. VELCRO counts the money as ROBBIE reads the card. Elsewhere LORD BELLINGHAM appears in a spotlight. LORD BELLINGHAM
## 4Dark — brooding ∑q = 90 & 4 ‹ # & # bœ ‹ like
3
œ œ œ to
# & # bœ ‹ high
5
have
œ
œ
œ
time
our
re
œ
j œ œ œ
j œ
œ
you
here
with
I
think
-
la - tion
œ
œ
œ
bœ
one
needs
to
know
9
b & b bœ ‹ sor
j œ œ œ
œ -
œ - did
œ
œ bœ
lit - tle
me
œ
de - tails
j œ
ship
-
Be
j œ œ œ the
‰
truth
œ -
Œ
œ œ œ we're
œ œ œ
came
far
less
bœ
œ
œ
The
way
in
which
j œ
nœ nœ œ œ
In
time
can
œ
œ
quite
j œ
we
mp
‰
j œ
I'd
œ
7
b & b bœ ‹ no
Ó
˙
for - get
œ
well
œ
di
-
œ
lu
‰
‰
j œ
sui - ted
-
œ
ted
j œ bœ œ we
œ
It's
nnbb
And
‰
‰
met
˙
j œ
j œ The
rall.
Ó
nn##
No. 6a — Old Compton Street (Reprise)
# &# ‹
12
2
LORD B: Robbie, I hope I haven’t misjudged our situation, but the time we spend together is the highlight of any week.
# &# ‹ # &# ‹
2
A Tempo q = 90
14
16
39
2
LORD B: I’d like more of it and my hope is that you would too. I’m hosting an event tomorrow night at the office and I’d like you to join me.
2
LORD B: It’s a black tie affair and, as it will be a late night, I’d like you to stay over.
# &# ‹
18
nnbb
LORD B: I’ve taken the liberty of informing Prada in Sloane Street to expect you. It’s all on account. Just choose something nice. The enclosed is a little something for you.
20
b b˙ &b ‹
œ
b˙
œ
œ
b˙
œ
œ
œ
˙.
‰
œ J
Slow q = 80 24
b &b ‹
œ
27
b &b Œ ‹
œ
œ
œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
mf
b &b œ ‹ There
Œ
j œ œ œ œ
p
I
œ œ œ œ ‰ I
won't share you
œ œ œ œ œ œ
so
Poco Più mosso q = 90 30
LORD BELLINGHAM
œ
œ
are
ways
œ œ to
beat
w
I
think
a
change
rall.
Œ
can't bear you
œ œ œ œ
worth
œ Old
a
œ
try
œ
Comp - ton
œ œ œ œ
œ
Ó
on Old Comp - ton Street
rall.
j œ œ œ ≈ œR œ œ œ I
don't rent
what I
A Tempo q = 90
w Street
can
2
buy
rall.
40
No. 7
It's Hard To Tell CUE: VELCRO: Gay, straight, bi, married, gay-married, Arthur, Martha, Grindr, Tinder. It does me head in.
Freely q = 90
VERSE
VELCRO (cont'd): Now . . . take him for instance.
4 & b 4 ..
∑
Ó
VELCRO
Œ
j .. œ œ œ œ
‰
3
To
5
&b œ
œ
œ œ.
3
œ
œ
œ
mit they're get - ting har - der
Œ
˙
to
me
3
œ.
it's quite clear
‰
spot
He
œ
j œ
≈
j œ œ œ œ œ
œ
has
to
œ
be queer
œ
œ œ œ
œ
Un - less they're scream - ing
œ œ œ
But I'll ad -
"out
and
œ
proud"
Or
Dm RIFF 8
&b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ sing- ing
show
tunes way
2
11
&b
too
Ó
loud
I
j &b œ œ
these
22
&b œ
Ev
26
&b œ
falls
30
-
j œ œ
Œ
days
hard
to
œ œ
˙.
to
the
œ
œ
So
-
ho
That
once
j œ œ œ œ
j œ œ
some
bar
in
where
œ
to
œ œ
to
tell
be
œ
-
Œ
twixt
˙.
the
œ
the
œ
œ
ho - mos
prin - ces
was
a
cli - ent
œ
œ
œ
gay
guys
from
œ from
œ œ
the
hets
˙
strict
-
what...
œ
œ
œ
the
gay
guys
from
œ
œ œ
from
the
queens
j œ
ly
-
œ
no
j œ
ele
mixed
the
that's
œ straight
Œ
œ
He's
the straight
Ó
Œ
œ
go
˙
Now
Œ
œ It's
j œ œ
j œ œ
these
œ
œ œ
˙
œ
-
j j œ œ œ
œ
Ó
œ
j œ œ œ œ
j œ œ
œ œ
With
œ
tell
˙.
Œ
œ
œ
Œ
œ
who's in - to
˙.
œ
tell
œ œ œ
tell
˙
hard
hard
hard
œ
'ry
say
œ œ
j œ
& b ˙. & b ˙.
to
j œ œ œ œ
2nd Dm CHORUS
34
it's
like
˙.
œ
˙.
œ
would - n't
1st Dm CHORUS
It's
17
œ œ œ œ œ œ.
Tempo q = 180
œ
days
It's
j œ œ œ œ
hot - ter
than
j œ
was - a -
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book 39
&b œ -
44
˙
œ œ
œ
bi
But does
he
Dm RIFF
&b œ
Œ
j œ œ
œ
love
Ken or
Bar
smoo
56
b &b œ Then
œ œ J
Œ
j œ œ œ œ in
con
He
œ is
65
b &b Ó ‹
ver
-
œ minc
Œ
sat
-
j œ
ing
more
œ
78
b &b œ ‹ fine
° bb Œ & 82
VELCRO
ROBBIE
b ¢& b ˙ . ‹ hard
it's
-
a
œ œ œJ œ
for
tea
and
œ
œ
It's
hard
Guc
for
-
not
œ œ œ œ œ
plac - ing
Comes
an
y
-
˙
-
va
j œ
œ
no
Œ
˙.
the
Which
bowls
œ œ
But
˙.
tell
˙.
for
which team
œ
œ
œ
œ
the
gay
guys
from
œ
œ
œ
œ
the
gay
guys
from
-
at
œ œ J
œ
the
gay
guys
from
œ
-
œ
˙
œ
œ
rough
œ J
en
does
œ œ
the
ov
œ œ œ J J
he
œ J
the straight
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er
-
˙
Œ j œ œ
œ œ
œ œ J
j œ œ
the straight
these
œ It's
bat?
these
œ
That's
j œ œ
straight
œ
œ
œ nœ
the
Œ
ion
-
œ
maid
j œ œ
œ.
œ
dia - monds from
a
j œ
2
œ œ œJ œ
œ
er
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∑
œ œ
œ
rath
Ó
el
-
words
œ
chat
rev
his
tell
Œ
the
just
˙.
œ
birds
w
tell
œ œ œ
Act - ing
˙
œ
to
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ci
-
j œ œ
hard
Œ
j œ œ œ œ
œ
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to
œ œ J
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ing
-
Œ
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œ
tell
pull
˙.
œ œ
j œ œ
œ.
than
œ J
œ œ to
in
toe
j œ œ
hard
œ œ to
to
ion
˙.
œ
j œ œ œ œ Cas
œ.
1st Gm CHORUS
It's
play
œ
œ œ J
-
j œ œ -
œ
˙
I'm
œ œ œ
œ
type
œ.
ROBBIE
b j & b œJ œ œ œ ‹ these days b &b œ ‹ Both
the
j œ
69
74
œ œ œ
Seems
60
b &b œ
œ
chy
-
Well
VELCRO
Head
b & b œ.
˙
œ
bie?
-
bb œ
bets
51
Œ
œ
B flat major BRIDGE
3
Ó
j œ œ
41
Œ
days
days
œ
It's
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
42
° bb Œ & 86
¢& ‹
œ
œ
œ
It's
hard
to
bb ˙.
90
hard
b &b œ ‹ Some
ROBBIE
œ love
93
b &b œ ‹ -
100
œ
ROBBIE
° bb & 104
œ
œ
˙.
to
tell
tell
j œ
œ
top
-
less
Œ
Well
dis
-
œ
œ J
œ
œ.
co
bun
in
ev
œ
œ
œ
œ
the
one
in
ev
˙
-
Oth - ers
œ œ œ œ œ i - cal
° bb & ˙ 108
œ
œ.
he's
worth
œ
ny
Tans
œ J
ROBBIE
° bb & 112
œ.
squeeze
œ
a
fling
˙
'ry
ten
œ
œ
dream
of
Œ
when it's
ru -
˙
on
Abs
œ
œ.
not
sun
as
if
he's
œ œ J -
œ. worth
you
see
he
œ J
wears
œ œ J a
œ œ J
could
ny
j œ œ a
wed
-
w
ding
ring
bœ fling
∑
grate
∑ œ
Œ
∑
œ œ œJ œ you
slip -
3
Ó
œ
Œ
œ J
by
Ó
VELCRO
∑
œ œ œJ œ
œ
œ J
œ.
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Œ
œ œ J
Œ
on
VELCRO
œ A
bœ ¢& b ‹ Then
Ó
∑
œ œ J
∑
œ
œ œ œ
∑
bœ œ œ œ œ J ¢& b ‹ Jeans he has to
œ
‰ œj œ œ œ œ
Œ
œ œ J
Ó
ten
Ó
men?
Looks
bœ œ œ œ ¢& b ‹ Looks as if
'ry
˙
œ
of
Œ
∑
ROBBIE
œ nœ
Gm RIFF
œ œ J
∑
-
œ
œ
pers
typ -
-
œ
one
œ
that
œ
the
-
˙
ain't
œ
œ
strip
˙
œ
œ œ œ the
˙.
œ
ers
bœ &b ‹ Quite
œ
œ œ œ
wed - ding
∑
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book 116
b &b œ
Œ
˙.
ring
œ
œ
œ
Don't
mean
œ
43
œ
œ
a
œ
œ
˙
Ó
thing!
DANCE REMIX BEGINS
120 Club Beat h = 122
b &b
∑
Œ
VELCRO sampled and cut up from track
œ œ œ
œ A
125
b &b w
131
b &b
137
b &b
œ œ ‰ #œJ ‰ nœJ œ œ
° b &b
w
˙.
˙.
#œ
œ
Don't mean a
w
œ œ ‰ œ œ
œ
˙
œ nœ
œ
œ œ nœ J
w
œ œ
w
˙
156
œ
œ
œ
‰
#œ J
‰
nœ J
œ.
j œ
>œ n>œ œœ # œœ œ nœœ
œ
œ
œ œ œ ‰
w
˙.
˙.
œ nœ
>œ >œ > nœ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ
w
œ thing!
SOLO PIANO — on track/treated
>œ >œ >œ > bœ bœ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ
œ
ring
w
œ œ œ
œ
œ œ ‰ #œJ ‰ nœJ œ œ
∑
œ nœ
Œ
˙.
Full out Feel
w
b b˙. &b b &b
wed - ding
w
144
150
œ
œ œ nœ J
œ œ
w
>œ >œ #œ œ nœ œ œœ ‰ Œ J
BAND
œ œ ‰ #œJ ‰ nœJ œ œ
w
œ
œ
œ
œ
w
‰
œ œ ‰ œ œ nœ J œ œ
œ J
œ
nœ
˙
w
VELCRO
Œ
œ
It's
b &b ‹ b &b
∑
∑
∑
œ
Ó
ROBBIE
Ó
ENSEMBLE Women
Œ
It's
∑
∑
∑
Œ
œ
It's
b ¢& b ‹
∑
∑
∑
Ó
œ
ENSEMBLE Men
Œ
It's
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
44
° bb & ˙.
DRIVING CLUB BEAT
160
œ œ ˙.
hard
to
b ˙. &b ‹ hard
to
to
b ˙. ¢& b ‹ hard
168
bœ ¢& b ‹
172
b & b #œ ‹ wrink b &b
Œ
∑
Œ
∑
Œ
their
their
re
re
œ J -
-
flec
œ J
flec
œ J -
flec
œ -
œ
-
œ -
œœ
œ œ œJ œ
j œ
œ
œ nœ œJ œ
œ J
their
dare
dare
∑
It's
hard
œ
˙.
Ó
Œ
re
to
to
-
flec
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˙
œ œ
tion
For
#˙
œ œ
tion
For
˙
the
œ œ
tion
For
#˙˙
the
œ œ œ œ
tion
Œ
the
For
Œ
show
the
œ They
œ
Œ
Œ
show
œ They
∑
to
˙.
œ
hard
to
slight - est
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im
-
per
œ œ œJ œ
slight - est
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per
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œ
j œœ œœ œœ œœ J
slight - est
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per
tell
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fec
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So
b ¢& b ‹
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them
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them
ize
2
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2
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tell
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2
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hard
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to
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tell
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wrink - les
Ó
hard
It's
j œ œ œ œ
Scann - ing
° b &b œ
∑
œ œ ˙.
˙.
œ
tell
b œ & b œ œ œ œJ ‹ Scann - ing their re Scann - ing
Œ
tell
j œ œ œ œ
Scann - ing
b &b œ
Œ
œ œ ˙. to
Ó
It's
œ œ ˙.
hard
∑
tell
œ œ ˙.
b & b ˙.
° bb & œ
Œ
Œ
#>˙ ˙ So
œ It's
œ It's
œ It's
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° bb & ˙.
œ
œ
hard
to
tell
176
b ˙. &b ‹ hard
˙.
œ nœ
to
tell
b & b ˙.
œ
œ
hard
to
tell
b ˙˙.. ¢& b ‹ hard
œœ nœ œ
to
œ
hard
to
tell
b ˙. &b ‹ hard
œ
œ
to
tell
b & b ˙.
œ
œ
hard
to
tell
b ˙˙.. ¢& b ‹ hard ° b &b œ 184
b bœ &b ‹ Mak
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180
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45
Ó
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Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
46
° bb œ & 188
night
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No.7a CUE: APPLAUSE on No. 7
Ó
Where
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thing
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ty
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192
both
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It's Hard To Tell — Fade TACET
47
No. 8
You Shall Go To The Ball CUE: 'VELCRO: Well, let your face know! VELCRO
Irresistible q = 142
b4 &b 4
∑
Ó
mf
Œ
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5
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9
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12
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24
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4
the
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the
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to - night
CLODAGH: Like someone's covered you in Pritt Stick and rolled you through Accessorize.
half
SIDESADDLE
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Cin - der-el - la
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to
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When
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27
b &b
hor
SIDESADDLE + VELCRO
19
31
œ
j œ œ œ
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no
15
b &b œ
Yes you
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shall
‰ œj œ œ
˙
‰
œ
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can tell
al - right
œ a
œ lot
DANA: Clo, how do I look?
∑
No. 8 — You Shall Go To The Ball
48 35
b &b
CLODAGH
œ I
39
œ œ œ
œ œ
could use
b &b œ
a - noth
CLODAGH
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42
b &b
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by
63
b & b œœ
tar
67
-
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ted
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LORD BELLINGHAM
&b œ ‹ Those
71
œœ
Chan
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who
raise
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fit
Œ
an
eye
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œ
Œ
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this
shade
BOTH
brow
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ver
think
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at
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nœœ
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be
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j œœ œœ
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we
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girl
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go
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ball
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him
j œ œ
DANA
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mas - car -
j œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ -
bers
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well
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two
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shall
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Irresistible q = 146
DANA
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of
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CLODAGH
and
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gon
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You'd
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love
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el
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œ
59
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bai
˙
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the
Well
b &b œ
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œ
to - night
Both
CLODAGH
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BOTH
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of
bints
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ly
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DANA
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leys
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glass
to - night
to
Œ
a
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cin - der - el - la
56
bai
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CLODAGH
ton - ight
50
b & b œœ
of
œ
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53
pint
j œ
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er
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prince
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Two
46
b &b
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DANA
‰
j œ ˙
∑
gap
Ó
∑
No. 8 — You Shall Go To The Ball 75
& b œ. ‹ Gos
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sips
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80
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90
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me
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107
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MARYLIN
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104
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100
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86
97
that
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83
93
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WILLIAM
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No. 8 — You Shall Go To The Ball
50
° b & ˙ ‹ 111
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115
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119 mf
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sing
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∑
125
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∑
j œ
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VELCRO
w b & ¢ ‹
128
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ery
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let
∑
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MARILYN
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WILLIAM
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w
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shall
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shall
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j œ œ
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to
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ball
ball
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Go where the
Cin - der - el - la
Cin - der - el - la
œ
Œ
œ
Go where the
œ
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lights
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are
œ
lights
œ lights
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œ
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œ bright
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No. 8 — You Shall Go To The Ball
° ## & ˙ 134
SIDESADDLE
‰ œ œ œ J
œ
‰ œ œ œ J
œ
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Yes you shall
# &#˙
ALL Girls
go
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° ## œ & 138
Œ
j ‰ œ œ œ Watch the
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# œ &# ‹ ## ¢& œ ‹
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° ## & ˙ 142
creme
## œj œ œ œ & ¢ ‹ creme ALL Boys
° ## œ & # &#Ó ¢& ‹
## Ó
-
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ter - a
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We
can smell a
-
lot
We
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œ œ
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ti
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145
ev'
to the
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ball
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## Tenors œ ∑ & ‹ Baritones j ## ‰ œœ œœ œœ œ ˙ & ¢ J ‹ Yes you shall
‰ œj œ œ
51
them
them
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œ
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ing
that
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bb˙˙ n˙˙
Œ
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Œ
bœ You
nn b bb nnbb b nn b bb
No. 8 — You Shall Go To The Ball
52 Meno Mosso q = 136
° bb œ & b 149
ALL Girls
bœ
shall
go
b œ &b b ‹ shall
Tenors
œ
Baritones bbb œ bœ & ¢ ‹ shall go
152
b ˙ &b b ‹
‰
b ˙ ¢& b b ‹
‰
b ˙˙ ¢& b b ‹
œœ
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b œ œœ ¢& b b nœ ‹ min - gle ° bb ˙ & b˙
the
j œ œ
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the
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j œ
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shall
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LORD BELLINGHAM: Robbie.
œœ
˙˙
Œ
gits
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j œ
œ
To
the
To to
the
œ J
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to
the
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if
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slipp -
er...
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glass
slipp -
er...
œœ œœ ˙˙ œ bœ ˙
Go
for
a
night
œ
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Go
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night
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And
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off
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œ bœ bbœœ bœœ bœ œ
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your
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get
com - plete - ly
w w w w
q = 110
w w w w
" w Πw w
w w w
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fits
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" w w Πw w fits
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night
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ball
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a
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ball
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bœœœ
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And
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œ J
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JAMES: Robbie?
œ.
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shall
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œ
Cin - der - el - la
œ
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Cin - der - el - la
œ
j œ œ the
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with those pom - pous
ALL Boys
158
œ œ
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min - gle
ball
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‰
ALL Girls
to
‰
° bb ˙ & b˙
155
œ
‰
go
° bb œ œ nœ & b
j œ œ
‰
œœ tits
œœ tits
œœœ œ‰ Œ Ó J œœ œ‰ Œ Ó J END OF ACT I
53
No. 9
Entr'Acte
Irresistible q = 146
#4 & 4 5
& 9
& 13
&
#
#
#
° # &
œ
œ
?
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‰ nœj œ
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?
?
?
œ
œ
œ
˙
?
œ
˙
œ
‰
œ œ œ
?
YOU SHALL GO Theme
?
œ
œ
‰ nœj œ œ
œ
œ
‰
œ œ œ
œ
œ #œ
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œ
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œ
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‰
j œ œ
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j œ œ
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œ
j œ
˙.
j œ œ
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rit.
19
#
œ œ
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ALL Girls
œ
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∑
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∑
œ
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∑
˙
j œ
∑
œ
j œ
œ bœ
˙.
∑
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Ó
bœ
œ
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nbb b
You Tenors
Œ bœ
nb bb
You
#
∑
∑
∑
∑
∑
Ó
Baritones
Œ bœ
You
nbb b
No. 9 — Entr'Acte
54
° bb œ & b 25
Meno Mosso q = 110
bœ
shall
b œ &b b ‹ shall
bœ go
œ go
‰
b ˙ ¢& b b ‹
min - gle ALL Boys
b œ œœ ¢& b b nœ ‹ min - gle ° bb ˙ & b ˙ 34
b ˙˙ ¢& b b ‹
‰
œ œ
the
j œ œ
œ
to
ball
the
j œ œ
œ
to
ball
the
Yes
you
œ J
œ
Yes
you
j œ
œ
Yes
you
œ œ œœ
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with those pom
JAMES: Robbie?
Œ
Œ Ó
-
‰ ‰
pous
œ
Œ
Cin - der - el - la
œ
‰
go
œ
‰
go
œ
œ
pous
œ œ
œ.
œ
shall
-
œ
Œ
Cin - der - el - la
shall
œœ
Œ
œ
œ œ
œ.
œ
œ
œ
accel.
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œ
œ
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œ.
œ
shall
œ œ
with those pom
œœ
œ
œ
œ J
‰
b ˙ &b b ‹
ALL Girls
ball
‰
28
31
to
‰
° bb ˙ & b˙
° bb œ œ nœ & b
œ
‰
go
b œ ¢& b b ‹ shall
j œ œ
‰
go
œœ
˙˙
j œ
œ
To
the
j œ
œ
To to
the
œ J
œ
to
the
LORD BELLINGHAM: Robbie.
Œ
gits
œœ
Œ
gits
œœ
œ
Go
for
a
night
œ
œ
œ
œ
Go
for
a
night
œ
œ
œ
œ
Go
for
a
night
œ
œœ bœœ
œ œ
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œ.
œ
ball
of
glitz
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of
glitz
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œ
of
glitz
œ J
œ
Cin - der - el - la
œ
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œ œ J
œ.
ball
And
œ
œ J
Cin - der -- el - la
œ
œ
œ.
ball
œ œ J
And
œ
œ J
Cin - der - el - la
And
œ bœ œ œ
œ œ
œœ
com - plete - ly
off
your
j bœ ‰ nœœ bbœœ bœœ bœœ œ J
œœ
œœ
off
your
‰
bœ bœœ
œ J
And
˙˙
œ nœœ
œ
get
And
get
com - plete - ly
œ J
œ
œ
œ
œœœ
bœœœ
And
see
if
the
glass
slipp
j œ
œ
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œœœ
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see
if
the
glass
˙˙˙ -
bœœœ slipp
tits
œœ tits
U Œ
"
U Œ
"
er...
˙˙˙ -
œœ
er...
SEGUE AS ONE No. 10 — Who's That Boy?
55
No. 10
Who's That Boy? CUE: SEGUE FROM ENTR'ACTE
° ### 4 & 4
3
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
Brightly q = 130
p
Ó
œ
Who's
3
### 4 4 & ¢ ‹ ° ### & 7
° ### Ó &
w
that
boy?
that
boy?
œ
œ
w
that
boy?
Who's
that
boy?
No doubt a young go
œ
œ
œ.
that
boy?
œ
Œ
œ mp
œ
that
œ
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œ œ
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w boy?
w boy?
œ
did
he
get - ter
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that
boy?
œ
œ
œ.
that
boy?
Ó
œ
w
œ
œ. œ ˙.
œ
∑
be
a
‰ Ó j œ œ œ œ œ I'd
like
œ
w
Who's
that
boy?
œ
œ
w
that
boy?
œ
Œ
Who's
There has to
with
to know him
LORD BELLINGHAM: Robbie. Can I have a word?
Œ
boy?
j œ œ œ œ œ
œ
come
∑
œ.
œ
boy?
Œ.
who
œ
be - gin
œ
œ œ Œ
w
that
œ
SOLO FEMALE
Who's that
mp
j œ œ
Who's
Who's
Who's
And
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œ
j œ œ
Œ.
∑
j œ œ œ œ œ
bet - ter
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Who's
œ
16
20
œ
œ.
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° ### Ó &
boy?
œ
œ
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that
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w
Who's
° ### Ó & ¢& ‹
œ
œ
Ó
12
¢& ‹
p
Ó
Ó
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w
MALE ENSEMBLE
Who's
∑
∑
œ
œ. œ ˙.
Ó
∑
Ó
sto - ry
ALL
œ
œ
œ
œ
Who's that
Who's that
w boy?
w boy?
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
56
° ### & 26
∑
∑
Ó
œ
Who's
¢& ‹
### Œ.
j œ œ œ œ œ
SOLO MALE
Too tren - dy
° ### & œ œ Œ 30
for
ALL
œ
pec - ted
Who's
### Ó & ¢ ‹
œ
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a
œ.
that
boy?
° ### & œ
Œ
### œ & ¢ ‹
that
boy?
œ
œ
Œ
œ
œ
He's clear - ly
w
that
boy?
It seems he
œ
œ
well con - nec - ted
œ
Œ
Ó
œ
Œ
Ó
œ
œ
œ
the
way
he
œ
œ
Who's
boy?
w
that
boy?
MARILYN (cont'd): William? What's going on? WILLIAM: I intend to find out.
3
∑
3
Ó
mf
œ
œ
Did
you
∑
œ
œ
œ
saun - tered
43
ex -
w
that
ALL
œ œ Œ
was
‰ Ó
boy?
° ### &
###
œ.
∑
### œ & ¢ ‹ see
¢& ‹
œ Œ
boy?
41
leaves
boy?
j œ œ œ œ œ
Who's
w
Who's that
that
Œ
j œ œ œ œ œ
œ.
° ### &
45
Ó
SOLO
œ
Who's that
° ### & œ
‰
Who's
MARILYN: James. Is everything OK?
34
### & œ ¢ ‹ u
œ
to - ry
œ
œ.
ALL
Ó
œ. œ ˙.
œ
SOLO
œ
in
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
as
if
he
owned
the
∑
œ
‰
place
Ó
j œ Ex
Œ
‰
j œ He
-
œ
œ
œ
ding
such
self
œ
œ
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us
in
the
œ -
œ
con
œ
-
œ
sha -
∑
œ
fi
œ dows
œ
œ
œ
dence
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no
œ
œ
like
a
œ
-
œ
œ
œ
œ
one
knows
his
face
œ
œ
mo - men - t'ry
Ó
œ
œ
œ
Œ
‰
e - clipse
j œ And
Œ
‰
j œ
And
-
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° ### & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 47
there
is
just one ques - tion that's on
ev'
### œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ & ¢ ‹ there is just one ques - tion that's on ° &b w w
j œ œ.
œ
œ -
œ
ry
-
œ
ev'
-
ry
ww
bo - dies
lips
œ œ. J
w w
bo - dies
-
57
œœ Who's
that
œ œ
œœ
Ó
lips
nnnb
œœ
Who's
nnn
that
3
DANA: He's looking at me again. Oh please. Could he be more obvious.
51
w w
boy?
bw ¢& w ‹ boy?
3
w w
3
56
CLODAGH: Get over yourself, it's me he's oggling. All these politicians like a bit on the side.
59
DANA: That James Prince is fit. WAITER: Stuffed olive? CLODAGH: Did he? Lucky Olive.
&b . œ.
. œ œ
. œ
‰
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. œ
>. >. œ œ Œ
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Ó
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. œ
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‰
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Ó
œ
œ
WILLIAM
63
&b ‹
∑
mp
Ó
œ
Who's
67
& b œ. ‹ ac
that
Œ.
boy?
And
CLODAGH (to DANA): It's Robbie!
-
Ó
œ ˙. tion
° &b 71
œ
œ
Who's
∑
that
Œ.
∑
b ¢& œ. ‹ trac 75
& b œ. Dad
œ ˙.
Ó
- tion
Who's
j œ œ œ œ œ
got mar - ried
œ
to
his
œ.
œ
boy?
And
CLODAGH & DANA
j œ œ œ œ œ
that
‰
j œ
Œ.
w
He's just DANA: What's he doing here?
j œ
our
lit - tle
œ
why
œ
what
the strange
œ is
œ œ Œ
the
œ
bro - ther
Ó
œ
Cos
œ
re -
œ
at -
œ
our
∑
boy? WILLIAM: So what's he doing . . . what are you doing here? Security! CLODAGH: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
œ œ Œ
mo - ther
Ó
4
b
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
58
° b &
DANA: You've got questions. We've got answers. Call us.
3
81
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
Ó
mf
# n## œ
œ
œ
Symp - tom
3
¢& b ‹
MALE ENSEMBLE
Ó
mf
-
Symp - tom
° ### & œ œ œ œ œ 86
full
of
‰ œj
crash - ing bores
### & œ œ œ œ œ ¢ ‹ full of crash - ing bores ° ### & œ 89
œ
bees
œœ
the
œœ
the
first sign
œ
chase
af - ter the
### œœ œœ & ¢ ‹ chase af ° ### & w Œ
œ œ œ
young
œœ œœ œœ
- ter the
young
of
-
fresh tal - ent
œ œ œ
j œ
œ
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a - tic
of
œœ
blood
moths
j œœ
‰
Like
j œ
œ
though
no
‰
j œœ
‰
though
-
œœ no
-
moths
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these func - tions
œ
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is they're
œ
‰
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these func - tions
is they're
œ
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œœ
Like
œœ
the
j œœ
‰
Like
j œ
‰
flame
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a - round
œ
j œ
‰
beat - ing down the doors
œ
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‰
œ œ œ œ œ œ
a - round
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beat - ing down the doors
and they're
œ
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œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ
and they're
œ
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blood
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fresh tal - ent
‰
hon - ey
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œœ
j œœ
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flame
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mf
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one
knows
his
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mf
one
knows
his
name
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f
94
### ww ¢& ‹ name
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91
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of
hon - ey
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of
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knows
his
name
ww
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No
j œ
-
œ
one
œ
knows
œ
his
œ
name
nnn
w w
ww
f
nnn
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° w & w 97
59
5
w w
f
FEMALE ENSEMBLE
Ó
œ
œ
Who's
w w ¢& ‹ 105
œ
œ J
boy?
His
œœ.. & ¢ ‹ boy?
œœ J
108
œ -
œœ
œœ
ent - rance
tic
œœ
œœ
was
dram
œ œ
œœ
Who's
that
w w
w w
boy?
œ œ
œœ
-
-
œ
œ
a -
tic
œœ
œœ
a -
tic
œ
œ
œ.
Who's
that
boy?
œ œ
œœ
œœ..
Who's
that
boy?
Œ Œ
bw˙
œ
œ
Both
cool
and
œœ J
œœ
œœ
cool
and
œ J
Both
Ó
b˙
Ó
boy?
œ
œ
en - ig -
œœ
œœ
en - ig -
œœ
nœœ
boy?
bw w
that
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that
œœ
œœ
Who's
that
? # œ.
. j #œ
. j œ
‰
Œ
Ó
. œ
#œ
∑
. j œ
‰
∑
boy?
n œ.
. j nœ
. j œ
LORD B: Robbie? Is everything alright? You don't seem yourself ROBBIE: No, I'm fine . . . I'm fine.
‰
Œ
Ó
. bœ
œ
. j œ
‰
œ.
. j œ
. j œ
LORD B: You seemed nervous infront of James Prince, it's not like you, he's a mayoral candidate not royalty.
118
?
dram
that
w w
?
was
Who's
° & #w w
115
Ó
ROBBIE is on the terrace. Having just taken his phone out ot make a call he is interrupted by the arival of LORD BELLINGHAM.
111
¢& ‹
œ
œ
Œ
tic
œ
œ
Œ
œœ -
œ
ent - rance
His
° œ & œœ & ¢ ‹ ma
f
MALE ENSEMBLE
Who's
° œ. &
ma
5
w w
that
Ó
œ
. bœ
‰
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-
œ.
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.j œ
‰
Œ
Ó
œ
‰
. œ
Œ
‰
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Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
60
121
?
125
?
129
?
133
?
137
?
ROBBIE: I know, I'm . . . I'm not really feeling myself. In fact, George I may have to go . . .
œ.
‰
Œ
Ó
. œ
œ
. j #œ
‰
. j œ
œ.
.j œ
‰
Œ
Ó
. œ bœ
‰
. j œ
LORD B: You don't have to do that. The apartment's upstairs. Why don't you go and have a lie down in my room.
.j œ
. j œ
œ.
œ.
‰
Œ
. œ bœ
Ó
. j œ
‰
. . nœj j œ
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n œ.
‰
Œ
Ó
œ
. œ
‰
. j #œ
‰
Œ
Ó
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‰
.j œ
. œ
‰
. j œ
ROBBIE: No George, I think it's better if I go. LORD B: Wait a minute, Doctor Reid's here, he can have a look at you. ROBBIE: No, George, I want to go.
.j œ
. j œ
-
‰
Œ
Ó
. œ
œ
. j #œ
‰
. nœ. j J œ
nœ.
LORD B: This is a big night for me. Actually for you and me. Us. ROBBIE: Us? LORD B: Like I said in the note, which you clearly received judging by the Prada suit you're wearing. I thought I'd made my feelings very clear.
œ. J
. j œ
œ.
‰
Œ
œ bœ.
Ó
.j œ
‰
. . j #œj œ
# œ.
‰
Œ
Ó
#œ
ROBBIE: Yes you did, George, and about that . . . I'm not sure we're quite in the same place...
. j #œ
. j œ
# œ.
‰
Œ
Ó
. œ
#œ
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‰
LORD B: I see. But you took the thousand pounds, and you went on a shopping spree.
140
?
.j œ
. j œ
-
Ó
. bœ
œ
. j œ
‰
. j œ
. j œ
œ.
‰
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n œ.
‰
Œ
ROBBIE: George . . .
Œ
Ó
œ
. bœ
. j œ
‰
(1st x): LORD B: No, Robbie, you see that's how it works. All the gifts, all the dinners, the money, the suit you're wearing,
143
(2nd x): JAMES: Robbie, what are you doing here?
? .. -
.j œ
. j œ
œ.
‰
Œ
Ó
œ
WILLIAM: I'm sure there must be a very simple explanation...
. œ
‰
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œ.
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.j œ
‰
Œ
Ó
. œ
‰
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‰
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œ
(1st x): LORD B (cont'd): - the shirt on your back - it's not charity - what do you think I am? ROBBIE: No, George, what do you think I am?
147
?
(2nd x): ROBBIE: (not moving) I really have to go.
œ.
. j œ
.j œ
‰
Œ
Ó
JAMES: You two know one another? ROBBIE: I can't do this. Not now.
. œ bœ
‰
. j œ
œ.
. j œ
.j œ
‰
Œ
Ó
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
61
(1st x): LORD B: I'll tell you what I think you are. ROBBIE's phone is knocked to the ground
151
?
(2nd x): ROBBIE runs off.
. . nœj j œ
-
n œ.
‰
. œ
. œ
WILLIAM: James, there are guests to be attended to. Lord Bellingham are ye you coming?
Œ
Ó
œ
‰
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.j œ
. j œ
-
œ.
‰
Œ
Ó
œ
. j #œ
‰
(1st x): WILLIAM: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lord Bellingham, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
155
?
. nœ. j J œ
nœ.
.j œ
(2nd x): LORD B: Hmm? Yes, of course.
‰
Œ
œ bœ.
Ó
‰
. j œ
œ.
œ. J
‰
Œ
œ bœ.
Ó
.j œ
‰
..
(VISUAL CUE OUT OF VAMP — MARILYN PICKS UP PHONE)
159
? ..
VAMP
.
œ.
. œ œ
. œ
. œ
Œ
&
mp
& b œ. œ ˙.
Ó
œ
#œ
ceal - ing?
° bÓ &
MARILYN
mp
œ
Who's
&b
Who's
∑
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that
œ. boy?
œ
that
.. b w
œ
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163
168
MARILYN
Ó
that
boy?
Œ.
w
boy?
Per - haps he's just
a
œ œ Œ
chan - cer
GIRLS pp
w
And what
j œ œ œ œ œ
I've
j œ œ œ œ œ
got
œ
Who's
the stran - gest
that
Ó
˙
∑
BOYS pp
w w
° b & œ 172
œ
an - swer
&b ˙ ¢& b ˙˙ ‹
Œ
œ
Who's
Ó
œ
that
w Ó
boy
Ó
Ó
mp
˙˙
boy
œ. œ ˙.
feel - ing
boy?
I
fear
I
know the
w w Boy
mp
˙
con -
w
Ó
˙
boy?
he
Boy
˙˙
Boy
is
j œ œ œ œ œ
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j œ œ œ œ œ
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œ œ
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Ó œ that
œ œ
that
w boy?
w w
boy?
f
œ
œ
Who's
that
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
62
° bw & 176
n w
Œ
boy?
Did
&b œ
Œ
bœ ¢& œ ‹
Œ
f
œ
œ
Who's
that
f
Who's
that
that
œ œ
œœ
Who's
that
Œ
184
¢& Ó ‹ ° œ œ Œ & 188
fuf - fle?
œ œ Œ ¢& ‹ fuf - fle?
ff
œ
œ.
Who's
that
boy
œ
œ
œ.
Who's
that
boy
œ
w
ff
œ
Who's that
œ
œ
Who's that
Did
Œ
Œ
boy?
‰
boy?
Œ
‰
boy?
I thought I
saw
a
œ œ œ œ œ J I thought I
saw
a
Ó
œ
œ
Who's that
Ó
œ
œ
Who's that
some - bo - dy
some - bo - dy
œœ œœ œ œ
œ
œ
cute
I
œœ œJ
œœ œœ œ œ cute
I
œ in -
œ in -
œœ œ
in -
œ vite
œœ œ vite
to
bite
œœ œ
œœ œ
œœœ
want
to
Who's
that
boy
œ œ
œœ
œ.
Who's
that
boy
œ œ
œœ
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œ œ
œœ
Who's that
œ œ
˙.
him?
œœ œ
˙˙.. ˙.
him?
˙.
him
œœ œ
bite
˙.
him?
œ
want
œ.
Ó
vite
œ
œ
Ó
œ
œ
œ
boy?
boy?
œœ œ
œ
œ œ Œ
w w
œ
œ J
scuf - fle
w w
œ
œ
œ œ Œ
scuf - fle
œ
some - bo - dy
So
œ œ œ œ œ J
œ
œ
Did
So
boy?
w
œœ œ J
‰
boy?
w w w
œ
œ J
‰
boy?
w
œ
Who's ENSEMBLE BOYS
Œ
w n w w
œ
180
° Ó &
n w
œ
GIRLS ° Œ ENSEMBLE Œ & œ
¢& Œ ‹
œ J
‰
˙˙.. ˙.
him
œ œ œ œ œ J
Who's caus - ing
the
ker -
œ œ œ œ œ J
Who's caus - ing
w w
w w
boy?
w w boy?
w w
the
ker -
No. 11
63
They Don't Make Glass Slippers CUE: JAMES: I can't take this. Jesus Christ. What have I done? ROBBIE: James! James!
Freely ROBBIE p
6 &8 ‰ ‹ 3
& ‰ ‹
œ
6
œ & J œ ‹ find
œ
œ
Once
œ
œ
And
œ
he thought the whole
œ œ œ
out
That that's
14
& #œ œ œ ‹ slip - pers
œ œ nœ & ‰ ‹ They don't have
24
& ˙. ‹ wrong
œ No
39
& ‰ ‹
44 poco accel.
& ‹
∑
a
time
there
was
just
a
lit
‰
œ œ œ œ œ
˙.
world
was
his
œ.
not
how
is
it
œ œ œ
Was - n't
˙.
‰
sur - prise
my
size
Hap - py
œ
œ
fair - y
œ
God Moth - er
œ
‰ j œ
ev
œ
œ
pops
up
-
like
ver - y
œ œ œ œ
old
when
mp
œ
‰
he
œ
If they
glass
j œ œ
er
af - ters
œ
they preach
œ J
˙.
a
dream
ty
as
‰
Mag - ic - al
œ œ
Once
œ œ œ
up - on
a
time
Are
œ œ there was
glass
slip-pers
turn out
∑
˙.
a - long
j œ
˙.
‰ œ œ œ
they
seem
Trou - ble
œ œ œ
j œ
al - ways just
œ œ just
a
out
œ lit
-
glass -
œ.
princ - es
of
j #œ
is
j œ œ
Why don't hand - some
King - doms
Driving forward q. = 56
‰
j #œ œ.
Al - ways
#œ
to
‰ œ œ œ œ œ
œ.
to help things
-
make
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ
˙.
came
œ
j #œ #œ œ œ
j œ ≈ œR œ
Pret
œ
boy
œ.
œ œ œ œ
‰ œ œ œ œ
œ. œ
tle
4
Œ.
‰ œ œ œ œ
œ
Shuffle q. = 52
˙.
œ
-
œ
They don't make
j œ
no great
Shat - ter
Prac - tice what
œ
œ J
œ.
œ œ œ
œ
œ
œ œ œ j & ‰ #œ #œ œ œ ‹ They don't make glass slip - pers & #œ œ œ ‹ slip - pers
œ
œ
29
34
œ
œ œ œ
It's
19
œ
œ.
‰
œ.
œ
u - pon
œ
œ
œ
˙.
my
reach
œ
œ
œ.
tle
boy
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
64 47
& ‰ ‹
œ And
œ
œ
œ œ ‰ œ œ œ. & J ‹ find out That that's not
˙.
world
was
his
œ œ œ
œ.
how it
Was - n't
3
Œ.
& ‹
Oh
Yeah
70
& œ œ œ œ. ‹ lit - tle
œ & J œ ‹ find out & ‰ ‹
And
That that's
œ.
œ.
not
how
is
œ
œ
j œ
It's
no
great
sur
88
& ˙. ‹ wrong
œ No
93 Even slower
œ
fair -
œ y
œ J
˙.
my
size
œ
œ
fair - y
œ
œ
˙. -
his
œ
œ
God - mo - ther
œ
God - mo - ther
œ
œ
pops
up
œ
œ
Pops
up
‰ œ œ œ
ev
mp
j #œ #œ œ œ
They don't make
glass
j #œ
#œ œ œ
If
they
make
glass
slip - pers
-
j œ
j œ œ
er
af - ters
to help
œ ≈ œR
help
œ things
œ things
œ.
‰ œ œ œ œ œ
œ. œ
Al - ways
poco rall.
#œ
˙.
˙
a - long
U #œ œ a
˙. -
œ.
slip - pers
œ
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to
old when he came to
œ
œ œ œ
œ
ve - ry
œ
Rock it out
Hap - py
Was - n't
Œ.
prise
∑
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Slower q. = 52
‰
‰
Œ.
œ.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
‰
˙.
he thought the whole world was
it
˙.
Once u - pon a time there was just a
œ œ
œ œ
œ œ œ
œ
nœ œ œ & ‰ ‹ They don't have
œ
œ J
f
‰
Yeah
poco rall.
œ œ œ
83
& œ ‹ No
Yeah
œ œ
boy
74
79
‰
œ
when he came to
Oh
‰ œ œ œ œ œ
‰ œ œ ‰ œ œ
∑
mp
Œ.
old
‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ.
#˙.
Oh
66
ver - y
oh
œ.
œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
‰
is
‰ œ œ œ.
Œ.
∑
& ‹
œ
he thought the whole
50
59
œ
œ
œ
long
U. ˙
turn out
Œ
65
No. 11a
Spin (Reprise) CUE: MARILYN: James. I don't want to hear it and this is certainly not something I wish to discuss in front of him. I'll see you at home. Pathetic.
Freely at first q = 130 (MARILYN leaves the office.) MARILYN: Oh God. MARILYN
#4 & #4
∑
œ
œ
How
# &#
4
œ
wrong
# &#œ
8
sim
ple
-
œ
truth
# &#˙
#5 & #4
Œ œ
# &#
-
œ
go wrong
œ
mem - ber?
old
fash
3
what
Hid
-
A phone rings in MARILYN'S bag. We recognise it as ROBBIE's ringtone.
4
peo
Œ
œ
œ
den
by
œ a
œ
smoke
Since
œ
œ
screen
of
Laugh - a - ble
I
œ
go
œ
œ
when
did
œ
cli - che?
3
know
you
œ
Œ Œ
3
œ
can
œ
ple want
-
3
it straight
.. 44
œ
How
œ œ œ œ œ Œ
3
prom - ised that He'd play
est?
-
œ œ œ œ œ
j œ œ
ioned
-
hon
j œ œ
‰
œ
œ
picking up
That's
‰
œ
with
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ Ó
Œ
œ œ
5 4
but wait
MARILYN: What on earth . . . ? (She searches in her bag.) MARILYN: I don't believe this. (She answers.)
Œ
‰
j œ œ
œ
˙
œ
œ
œ œ
˙.
œ
œ œ
MARILYN: Hello? (Robbie?) No but this is his phone. (So who are you?)
23
# &#
Re
œ
be - come
He
16
œ
œ
œ
11
28
œ
you
With Tension q = 160
de - cen - cy
# &#
Œ
œ œ œ œ œ
with
can
œ
œ
œ
Œ
w
j œ
‰
œ
œ
œ
˙
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
w
MARILYN (cont'd): My name's Marilyn Platt. (Well what are you doing with Robbie's phone?)
Œ
nœ
œ
œ
œ
œ
33
œ
œ
œ
˙.
œ
œ
˙.
Œ
œ
MARILYN: I'm sorry? No I will not return his fucking phone.
Œ
œ
˙
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙.
w
w
˙
..
FADE ON CUE DURING REPEAT
66
No. 11b
Underscore into Tail That Wags CUE: WILLIAM: Now go! JAMES exits.
Freely At First h = 65
2 & b2 5
&b
Ó
Ó
˙
nœ
w
˙
33
&b
39
&b
˙
w
˙
œ
œ
∑
j n œ.
˙
j œ
œ.
œ
œ
œ
œ nœ œ
˙
œœ >
j nœ œ
œ.
œ
œ
œ
œ
CLODAGH: That's right. WILLIAM: So presumably you have an address for him.
Ó
˙
w >
˙.
∑
œ œ .
WILLIAM: Right, here's what's going to happen . . . in a few hours time you're going to have a lot of press assembling outside your establishment . . .
w
œœ n œœ . .
œ
œ
œ
œ
j œ œ
œ nœ œ
WILLIAM: (Cont'd) . . . rather keen to find out more about your brother.
Œ
Ó
œœ..
œ
œ
œ
bœ nœ
œ
CLODAGH: Go on. What's that got to do with us?
∑
j n œœ.
Œ
j œ ˙
Ó
œ.
œœ >
j nœ œ
œœ n œœ . .
Œ
WILLIAM: I want you make your brother's colourful life even more colourful. As sordid as you like. Now that shouldn't be too difficult should it?
Ó
∑
j n œœ.
œœ..
œ
w
Œ
œ
Ó
œ
CLODAGH: And what's in it for us? WILLIAM: Trust me. People will pay a lot for your story. I'll make sure of that.
œ
w
œ
œ
œ.
œ J
œ
Œ
Ó
œ
œ
œ
j œ œ.
˙
˙
œ
œ
j œ œ
j œ
w
WILLIAM: Now enjoy your moment in the sun.
œ
w
œ
˙.
œ
˙.
œ
œ
WILLIAM: Tea, get in here. SASHA: Yes, William . . . what was all that about?
w
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
j œ œ
WILLIAM: That my dear Tea, was what you call an opportunity. A great big mincing opportunity.
44
&b
œ
œ
œ.
27
&b
œ
CLODAGH: Yeah, he works in the launderette next door. WILLIAM: In Old Compton Street.
20
&b
œ
WILLIAM: This is William George. You gave me your number at the event last night. You told me that Robbie is your brother or, step brother.
Faster in Time h = 85
13
&b
œ
œ
n˙
nœ.
œ J
˙
j œ œ
#˙
œ
#œ
œ
‰
j œ
VAMP — 1 bar as needed
.. w
..
SEGUE AS ONE No.12 — The Tail That Wags The Dog
67
No.12
The Tail That Wags The Dog CUE: DEAD SEGUE from No. 11b
WILLIAM: Get me a car.
In 2 h = 90
#2 & #2 ‹
3
WILLIAM: Bellingham Industries.
# &# ‹
5
4
SASHA: Where are we going?
SASHA re-enters with WILLIAM's coat.
Ó
Œ
‰
j œ
The
# &# ‹ œ
9
po
# &# œ ‹ may
-
œ li
-
tics
œ œ œ
œ
œ
œ
of
po
-
li - tics
13
# &#œ ‹ dash
œ
œ
be
mu
œ
œ
-
œ
sic
œ
œ
to
their
# &#œ ‹ noth
- ing
po
-
œ œ li - ti
œ
œ
ears
œ
œ œ
œ
But
‰
˙
cian
-
œ œ
Be - hold
17
j œ
œ œ œ
œ
"The
œ
I'm
his
Let
eve - ry - one
œ
- er
œ œ œ
pup - pet
takes
# œ œ œ nœ œ Œ &# ‹ knock them in - to shape
25
# &#œ ‹ plump
29
# œ &# ‹ pull
œ œ œJ
œ. ions
a
Ó
bow
Œ
œ
With
œ
cush
on
œ
œ
œ
œ
the
strings
And
call
œ œ œ
the
seat
shots
œ
my
hand
mould them
œ
œ
Where
œ œ œ ‰ J
the
œ
‰ œj œ œ I
the
-
œ œ œ
œ
œ
I'd
œ I
œ
œ
œ
œ œ
raise
a
œ
œ
till
they
fit
œ
œ
groom
them
for
Œ
‰
j œ
A -
f
Œ
˙
œ I
Œ
Ó
Œ
œ I
to
œ
j œ
The
˙
#œ œ
pre - fer
‰
arse
œ
œ œ
Œ
voice
glass
his
j œ
He
˙
œ œ œ #œ up
‰
choice"
ma - ster's
œ œ œ
Œ
˙
peo - ple's
21
33
p
WILLIAM
sit
œ œ the
Œ
œ
throne
Œ
œ I
˙.
Œ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
68
# &#œ ‹ I'm
37
œ
œ
the
tail
that
# &#w ‹
41
wags
the
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
ly
takes
œ
œ.
-
a
strong
# &#œ œ ‹ mon - key's
œ
on
œ œ
the
scrap
Œ
‰
œ nœ
œ
in - to
shape
œ
## Ó & ¢ ‹
¢& ‹
## Ó
the
œ
dog
œ
œ
that
gets
Œ
œ œ the
bone
mp
‰
j œ
j œ
œ
œ
Watch
œ
œ
the
knock them
œ
œ
will
an - y - one
œ
in - to
Ó
or -
flaw
j œ œ.
˙
it
œ
œ œ
spring
œ
œ
gan
grind-
plump
the
cush
ions
œ #œ
I
er
Œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
pull
the
strings
And
call
Œ
‰
j œ
The
f
Œ
˙
œ
grind
I
Œ
j œ
œ
œ
‰
mould them
Œ
œ
œ
on
œ
œ
till
they
fit
œ
j œ
you'd
pre - fer
shots
to
sit
∑
seat
∑
œ œ œ ‰ œ J
the
Œ
œ œ œ #œ œ
Œ
œ œ œ
the
œ
∑
œ
j œ
You
‰
∑ œ
‰
We
Ó
Ó
-
Œ
shape
Œ
œ œ œJ œ.
j œ It
œ
mind?
Where
œ
‰
raw
to
Œ
œ
˙
pick
fit
Ó Œ
œ
press
a
had
œ œ œ
∑
I
Œ
j œ
œ
Œ
œ œ œ
I
Œ
they
‰
Does
heap
Œ Œ
till
Œ
the
he
SASHA
œ œ œ œ
mould them
And
œ œ Œ
You
64
68
it's
œ
bad
œ œ
suc - ces - sor
WILLIAM
knock them
Œ
œ œ œ
œ
too
weak - ness
j œ
61
° ## & œ
œ
œ
˙
œ
But
œ
œ
one
° ## Ó &
œ
œ
pack - age
57
° ## & œ
Yet
œ œ Œ
per - fect
53
## œ
dog
œ
w
49
¢& ‹
œ
He
# &# œ œ ‹ seemed the
# &#œ ‹ need
Œ
w
45
# &# ‹ onœ
œ œ ˙
œ
#œ
I
œ
œ
œ
groom
them
for
œ œ the
throne
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° ## & 72
¢& ‹
∑
## ˙.
° ## & œ 76
## œ & ¢ ‹
° ## œ & ‹ makes 81
∑
WILLIAM
Œ
#œ
∑
œ
œ
œ
I'm
the
tail
œ
œ
œ
69
œ
œ
wags
the
#œ that
œ
Œ ˙
dog
∑
w
w
∑
the
œ
œ
œ
that
gets
the
bone
œ
œ
œ
œ œ
you
ask
what
œ
Yet
it's
the
œ
œ
œ
Yet
w
gets
œ
Œ
w
that
#œ
it's
was
dog
œ
the
dog
∑
bone
œ
œ
Ó
f
Œ
œ It
Œ
it
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
that
led
him
to
be
un
-
œ
˙
Ó
true
ENSEMBLE
#mp &#w w
Ooo
¢& ‹
## nw w mp
w w
w w
˙˙
Ó
w w
w w
˙˙
Ó
Ooo
° ## Œ & ‹ 85
# & # #w w
œ
œ
œ
It
seems
œ
œ that
œ
œ
eve - ry
## #w w
œ
œ
holds
a
œ
œ
œ
skel - e
w w
w w
w w
w w
œ
œ
-
ton
œ J
œ. or
Ooo
° ## ˙ & ‹ two 88
# & # ˙˙
¢& ‹
Œ
clos - set
Ooo
¢& ‹
œ
## ˙˙
Œ Ó
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
Now
we
lose
our
de
Œ
œ
Ó
De
Ó
Ó
Œ
-
-
œ De
œ œ Œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
po - sit
if
we
don't
find
œ œ Œ
Ó
po - it
œ œ Œ -
Ó
pos - it
œ œ œ some - one
œ œ œ some - one
Ó
Ó
œ œ œ some - one
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
70
° ## œ & ‹ new 92
Œ
# &#œ
Œ
¿
¿
¿
¿
I'm
thrilled
to
bits
¿
Œ
¿
The
¿
¿ J
‰
slip - per
œ
Œ
fits
Œ
Ó
∑
∑
Œ
Ó
∑
∑
Stand
new
## œ & ¢ ‹ new
° ## & #œ ‹ back 95
Œ
œ
œ
I'm
# &#Ó
œ
œ
com - ing
mp
˙.
w
through
##˙˙..
w w
#˙˙
w
Ah
## ¢& Ó ‹
Ah
mp
#˙˙..
w w
#˙˙
99
˙˙
˙˙
Œ
Ah
° ## & ‹
˙ #˙˙
˙˙
Œ
Ah
∑
∑
∑
∑
#### #
## wf &
w
w
∑
#### #
## wf ¢& ‹
w
w
∑
#### #
## & # ## ‹
WILLIAM: Oh George, . . . you have been a naughty little Lord haven't you?
103
## & # ## ‹
107
# ## &# # ‹
111
œ
œ
œ
j œ
œ.
œ
œ
LORD BELLINGHAM: What?
œ
j œ
œ.
œ
œ
w
œ
w
WILLIAM: "Lord Bellingham and rent boy lover in political fundraiser". Now only a fool would bet the markets but I'll take my chance that Bellingham Industries shares will go down.
œ
œ
œ
j œ
œ.
œ
œ
œ
j œ
œ.
œ
œ
LORD B: I've no idea what you're talking about. WILLIAM: Your little friend, Robbie? LORD B: Rent boy? I've never paid him for . . .
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Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
## & # ## ‹
WILLIAM: What did you pay him for exactly? (There's no answer) Now I'm assuming you'd prefer to keep your private life our of the press. LORD BELLINGHAM: Go on. WILLIAM: In an hour this story will leak. However, it all depends which story we'd like to tell.
115
œ
119
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123
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127
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WILLIAM (cont'd): My version is that sicko James Prince arrogantly invited his fiancée and gay boy lover to the same fundraising event.
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131
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WILLIAM: George, you can trust me.
150
?
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WILLIAM: The bank transfer. I'll do the rest. LORD B: Don't screw this up, William. I mean it.
œ
Œ
LORD B: Your what?
WILLIAM: Prince won't survive this. I have the credentials, I know the system. You'll find me a very loyal servant in City Hall.
œ
œ.
VAMP 2nd TIME ONLY
WILLIAM (cont'd): And we have two days before nominations close. LORD B: What do I need to do?
Œ
. œœ
œœ
Œ
WILLIAM (cont'd): Worse than that he did so in your good offices. Of course, there is another version of the tale which involves the cheif executive of a multi-national . . . .
WILLIAM: It's not for me. It's for my campaign . . . to become London Mayor.
143
j œ
œ
LORD BELLINGHAM: I get it, I get it. How much? WILLIAM: I'm sorry? LORD B: How much to keep me out of it?
? #### #
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71
f
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Stand
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Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
72
° ## & #œ ‹ back
Piu Mosso
153
Œ
œ
I'm
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˙.
w
through
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165
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169
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mp
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161
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shape
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I
œ œ mould them
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they
fit
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they
fit
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° ## œ œ œ œ œ. & J ‹ plump the cush - ions # ∑ &#
73
177
¢& ‹
œ œ œ
on
the
œ
plump
##
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pull
## œ & ¢ ‹ pull ° ## œ & ‹ I'm # & # #˙ 185
plump
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the
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strings
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strings
call
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mf
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° ## & ¿ Œ ¿ Œ ‹ "howl" "howl" ## ∑ & 193
wags
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189
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the
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bone!
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bone!
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bone!
∑ ∑ ∑
74
No. 13
Let Him Go CUE: MARILYN: And in here for hurting. VELCRO: Yes, In here for hurting - it gets better though, if you let it.
Gently q = 120
##4 & # #4
œ.
œ J
˙
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Œ
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The
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5
on
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j œ
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way
to
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on
to
a
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9
does - n't
13
hold
# ## &# ˙
17
œ œ. mean
love
him
Ó
Let
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œ
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you
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gain
a
clo
-
ser
I
don't
## & # # œj œ
24
let
him
j œ
say
j œ œ
know
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
it's
‰
j œ
How
ea
œ much
-
sy
you
rea
œ
œ œ -
ly
love
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œ œ ˙. him
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Œ
œ
end
œ
œ
If
you
j œ It
˙.
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friend
though
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the
˙.
21
œ
in
‰
go
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œ
hurt
go
him
Œ
˙
‰ œ œ œ
less
fan - ta - sy
œ
Let him
œ œ ˙
œ œ œ
œ
‰ œ œ œ
your - self
œ
you
And
## & # # œj
free
j œ
Ó
œ œ ˙
œ
j œ œ
Let him
Ó
˙
œ
want
Ó
œ
œ
to
œ œ œ
Let
him
j œ go
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
## &##
28
w
Ó
˙
go
## &##œ
32
œ
don't
know
## &##œ
œ
in
my
why
## &##œ
œ
hard - est
## &##˙
44
heart
œ
j œ œ
part
of
lov - ing
œ œ
48
If
I
## j &##œ œ I
j œ œ œ ly
-
‰
j œ
tell him
know - ing
so
Tell - tale
Ó
œ œ ˙.
signs
œ
œ
may
start
œ œ œ
him
Let
The
Œ
œ
œ œ
j œ œ
j œ
j œ œ
Let him
œ œ œ
to
œ
show
How
œ much
Ó
˙
go
go
Ó
˙
w
him
‰ œj
˙.
go
it must end
j œ œ
j œ
For
him
˙.
‰
go
œ œ œ œ
œ
pre - tend
Œ
j œ œ
œ
œ œ
for
Œ
˙
‰ œ œ œ Let
Is
tle
love
Ó
œ œ œ
j œ œ
œ œ J
Let him
‰ œj
him
set -
to
real
MARILYN mp
Œ
œ œ œ
known
j œ œ
œ
j œ œ. try
52
al - ways
œ
‰
on
œ œ ˙
œ
I've
Why
## & # # œj œ
hold - ing
j œ
œ œ.
Œ
Ó
Ó
œ œ ˙
œ
I'm
36
40
∑
I
j œ
œ œ.
75
VELCRO
####mf & œ
57
œ œ œ
Don't
# ## &# œ
stay
œ œ
shut
aw - ay
œ
œ
œ
with
61
Op
-
œ
en
doors
œ
to
œ œ œ
œ
"what
j œ œ
all
may
j œ œ
œ
œ.
those
"might
j œ œ
œ
be"
in
have
œ
beens"
w -
Ó
˙ ˙
Ó
˙
Œ
stead
MARILYN
# ## f &# œ
65
That's
nœ œ œ the
light
œ œ
that
guides
œ
nœ œ œ us
through
œ the
œ. change
œ œ J of
œ scenes
nœ Those
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
76
## &##Œ
69
œ
œ
"in
-
œ
œ
be
-
˙.
œ
tweens"
we
## &## ## & # # ˙˙
77
œ
dread
˙.
‰ Let him go j w œ œ œ œ œ.
MARILYN
Ó
Ó
‰
∑
œ
œ
œ
Let
him
go
VELCRO / MARILYN
Ó
‰
## & # # œœ hold
œœ
œœ
œœ
on
to
a
Œ
œ œœ œ
## & # # ˙˙
85
fan - ta - sy
And
œ
A Tempo
## & # # œœ
know
# ## & # œœ
97
Show
## & # # ˙˙
102
Will
hurt
a
clo
ser
-
heal
-
how
may
œœ
œœ
much
œœ œœ œœ how
ing
œœ
œœ
œ
much
you
œœ œœ you
love
Freely
Ó
Ó
œ œ œ be
you
in
the
˙. ˙.
œœ
œœ
love
œœ him
œ
When
we
Ó
œœ œœ ˙˙. .
Let
him
œ œ
grow
a - part
j œœ œ. J œ.
p
him
A tempo
rall.
w w
˙w
go
BOTH
j œ ‰ œœ œœ œœ We
grow
A tempo
w w
w w
go
˙
go
Ó
˙˙
2
Let
him
j œœJ œ. œ.
œ œ
˙˙..
rall.
pp
Let him
end
rall.
œ
j j œœ #œœ œœ J J
Œ
œœ
œœ œœ
friend
Œ
slow
To
œœ n œœ œœ # œœ
œœ
œœ œœ œœ œ œœ œ
gain
œ œ œ œ
Though the
93
œœ
œœ
go
VELCRO
# # mp &##œ
89
‰ j ‰ œœ J
œœ œœ œœ
œœ
him
j œœJ
f
‰
˙˙..
œœ
œœ
œ Let
81
Œ
˙. VELCRO
2
73
œ
œ
w w
‰
j œJ
He'll
77
No.13a
Wishing For The Normal (Reprise) CUE: MARILYN: For being . . . kind. VELCRO: I didn't do anything. MARILYN: You did a lot. Goodbye Sonia.
MARILYN exits. VELCRO looks around the launderette clutching Marilyn's card.
Gentle h = 100
4 & b4
5
˙
b˙
b˙
˙
w
w
VELCRO
p
&b w
w
Wish
-
-
Œ
˙.
w ing
-
œ
œ
Hop - ing
for
œ œ
the
hum
w
Wish
13
&b œ
w
Œ
œ œ ˙
-
-
œ œ œj œ
œ
drum
-
-
w
Is
that
aim
-
ing
ing
j œ
high?
17
&b j œ œ
Oth - ers
# &#
21
j œ œ seem
œ œ
to
find
SCENE CHANGE TO CAMPAIGN HQ
œ
œ it
5
œ
Tell
œ
me
œ œ œ œ œ why
oh
why
oh
rall.
why
Œ
˙.
œ can't
Ó
˙ U w I?
3
n##
78
No. 13b
Remember Us — Reprise CUE: JAMES: Nothing changed. I thought it could. I thought I could.
Colla voce
# #6 & # 8 œ. œ. œ œ œ. œ ‹ No - thing's black and white This Freely
JAMES
## & # œ. ‹ Love
5
œ.
œ
will
œ
con - quer
## & # ‰ #œ œ œ. ‹ an ti - dote
8
## &#
13
all
œ.
œ.
When
you
one fight
œ
you can't win
œ
fall
œ œ œ.
‰
œ
you
on
there
œ.
œ.
œ.
œ.
I
thought
I
could
vote
œ.
œ
œ
fall
a
is
no
MARILYN: We both did.
˙.
œ.
Œ.
change
4
MARILYN
œ œ.
œ œ
Re - mem - ber
j œ œ
when
You
∑
œ
j œ
popped
the
j œ œ
∑
œ
œ
œ.
ques - tion
Eve
JAMES
Œ.
∑
œ.
œ
New Year's
œ
œ
œ
God, what
° ### ‰ & 21
œ œ.
œ œ
‰
Re - mem - ber then
### j & ¢ œ ‰ ‹ mess! 25
∑
### j œ ‰ yes
œ I
Œ.
‰
° ### & ¢& ‹
just
‰
œ œ œ.
MARILYN (cont'd): We both wanted to believe it. It wasn't just you.
Pushing On q. = 80
### & ¢ ‹
is
‰
œ œ œ
More rhythmic
Meno Mosso
° ### ‰ & 17
œ
œ.
j œ
œ
called
you
œ œ œ œ
Rel - a - tive - ly
j j œ œ œ
But
when you're
˙. young
so
œ
‰
œ
œ
Œ.
na - ive
Œ.
∑
4
œ
œ
cra - zy,
∑ Œ.
Œ.
j œ œ
a
œ
œ
Then
you
Slower q. = 70
œ
œ
young
œ
You
think
the
dream
Œ.
œ
œ
œ
œ
You
think
the
dream
œ
said
j œ œ.
will
last...
will
last...
j œ œ.
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° ### Œ & 29
j œ
Un
### Œ & ¢ ‹ ° &b 33
j œ
Un
œ
œ.
˙.
∑
œ.
˙.
∑
til...
-
œ
‰
œ
‰
œ
&b
45
&b
œ J
œ
œ
love
you
œ J
j œ
œ
j œ
œ.
œ
œ.
∑
œ
œ J
œ
MARILYN: I want all of you, not just a part.
œ J
œ
nnnb
œ
∑
MARILYN (cont'd): And I don't want to fight a battle I can't win. JAMES: Marilyn, please. I want you to be part of my life.
œ.
œ
œ
MARILYN: It is, James.
œ.
œ.
œ
MARILYN: I know you do. But you will never love me completely.
œ
˙.
37
41
Œ.
I
œ.
œ
nnnb
∑
til...
-
¢& b ˙. ‹ still &b
Colla Voce
MARILYN: You finally wake up.
With Movement q. = 74
‰
79
œ J
JAMES: I'm scared. That sounded very final.
˙.
‰
œ
œ J
œ
JAMES: I don't know what to do. I mean what now?
˙. œ.
œ
œ
œ
œ.
œ J
œ
œ
œ
˙.
œ
Slower
j œ
œ
nœ
œ
œ
j œ
œ
MARILYN: Honesty. With the voters but more importantly with yourself. You can't go wrong with honest. Remember?
48
œ
& b nœ
52
œ
j œ
Bubbling q = 110
b 4 & b bb 4
54
b & b bb
57
œ
bb &b b
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ
œ
>œ œ œ
bœ
œ
œ
j œ
œ
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
rall.
œ.
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ
NARRATOR: At William's direction, the press are now campedout in Soho
>œ œ œ
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
œ
œ
œ
across the street from Glam-Amour. Clodagh and Dana are rather enjoyingthe attention.
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
œ
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ
œ
>œ œ œ
œ
>œ œ œ
œ
>œ
œ
>œ œ œ
œ
>œ œ œ
œ
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ
œ
(The hubub builds to a cut off)
œ
œ
œ
>œ
œ
œ
œ
n>œ
œ
œ
œ
>œ
œ
œ
œ
>œ
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
œ
œ
>œ
bbbb 44
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ
œ
œ
>œ œ œ
>œ œ œ œJ ‰ Œ f
œ
œ
80
No. 14
Fifteen Minutes CUE: CLODAGH: I think . . . I think our talent has finally been recosgnised. DANA: Our what?
Melée of clamouring PHOTOGRAPHER's requests. Initially startled by the attention, CLODAGH and DANA begin to warm to it . . .
Moderato q = 100
2 & b2 5
˙
œ
œ
œ
œ.
œ
CLODAGH
& b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰. Some - one
&b œ œ œ œ œ œ fif - teen min-utes of
‰
fame
I
don't
DANA
j œ
got our
œ
œ
Well
œ œ.
fif - teen
14
& b œ œ œ œ.
‰
fif - teen min-utes
17
&b
23
&b œ may
œ œ.
the
go
-
to
our
œ
œ
bleed them
ry
‰
j œ œ
œ
œ
œ
w
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Eve - ry - one's
is
œ
tick - ing
en - ti - tled
to
name
a
j œ œ œ
We're
œ
taste
œ
of
sell
œ
j œ œ
glo - ry
al
œ
want
œ œ.
the
œ œ our
j œ
the
œ ‰
same
fame
j œ œ. At
last
œ
the
DANA
œ œ œ œ.
sto - ry
˙
of
‰
pick - ing
œ
our
œ œ
œ
fif - teen min - utes
for
œ
gon - na
œ œ œ œ.
œ œ
read - y
j œ œ œ.
‰
j œ œ
‰
We
our
We've
CLODAGH
˙
on
their
‰ œj
cry
dry
Bring
We're
loids hue and
-
˙
CLODAGH
˙
œ
the tab
j œ œ œ
‰
‰
œ œ œ.
œ
We'll have
œ
till they're
CLODAGH
œ
œ
œ œ
Œ
mo - ment Let
fif - teen min-utes
clock
œ œ
œ
stick - ing
œ œ œ be
our
œ œ œ œ.
We've earned our
20
mud is
let's
j œ œ œ
Be - ware
& b œ œ.
œ
œ
Now
œ œ œ œ
œ.
his name
DANA
‰
˙
re - call
this looks like
œ
min - utes
œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
11
& b #œ œ.
œ
œ
r œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
fa - mous he once said
8
œ
œ œ
The de
‰
-
j œ œ
tails
BOTH
Hel - lo
œ
it's
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book 26
& b œ œ œ œ.
j œ œ
‰
fif - teen min-utes
Our
new
œ
life
can
be - gin
œ
œ
of
w
fame
œ œ
time
œ œ œ œ
for our
˙
fif - teen min - utes
Bubbling now DANA
œ
œ
œ
We'll
be - come
œ
œ
œ œ œ
œ
cel - eb - ri - ties
The
CLODAGH
35
&b œ œ œ œ œ œ dar - lings
38
it's
œ
3
29
& b ˙.
œ ‰
œ œ œ œ
81
of
Œ
the press
Cast
us
in
DANA
&b œ œ
Bring out
œ œ a
œ œ œ œ.
range
of
cloth
40
& b #œ write
œ
œ
our
own
œ
œ
43
46
¢& b œœœ ‹
Ah
œ
œ
‰
shame that
œœ œ
are
° & b œ œ œ œ. who can knock it?
‰
œœr Ó œ
a
sure
to
sell
Then
j œ œ f
BOTH
‰
We
œ œ œ œ.
our
œ
our
œ œ
œ
of
fame
œœr Ó œ
Ooo
DANA
‰
œ œ œ œ.
ac - counts will rock - et
œœr Ó œ
want
fif - teen min - utes
œœ.... œ..
j œ œ œ
j œ
DANA
‰
spell
Our bank
j œ œ.
CLODAGH
It's cheap
œ
but
œœr Ó œ
œœ.... œ.. Ooo
BOTH
It's
suc-cess
œ œ œ
˙
Ooo
j œ œ œ œ œ œœ
roar - ing
Ó
We'll fill
our pock - et
œœ.... œ..
˙˙˙
a
œ
œ
œœr Ó œ
œ œ œ œ.
in
be
‰ œj œ œ
fif - teen min-utes
Ooo
The press
We'll
per - fume's
you can't
œœ.... œ..
œ œ œ œ
a
œ œ œ œ.
We crave our
œ
œ œ.
CLODAGH
49
œœ...... ¢& b œ ‹ Ooo
A
œœr Ó œ
œœ.... ¢& b œ.. ‹ Ooo ° b & ˙
j œ
‰ œj œ œ
fif - teen min-utes
MALE ENSEMBLE
œ œ
And
CLODAGH
œ œ ‰
pan - to - mime
CLODAGH
ing
-
bi - og - ra - phy
° b & œ œ œ œ.
‰
a
Œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
˙˙
‰
game
DANA
j œ œ œ
Our
Œ
˙˙.. ˙. Game!
life
was
œ œ œ œ œ ‰ down
the toi
-
let
j œ œ œ A
∑
scan - dal
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
82
° b & œ œ œ œ œ ‰ 52
should - n't
spoil
it
CLODAGH
j œ œ œ
j œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ ‰
We're gon - na
Su - san Boyle
it
That's our
∑
‰
˙
aim
Was - sup with
p
b ¢& ‹
∑
œœ œ
‰ œj œ œ
55
fif - teen min-utes
b œœ.... ¢& œ.. ‹ mf
It's
œœr Ó œ
so
not
us
to
win
It's
time
œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙
for our
œœ Ó œ R
œœ.... œ.. Ooo
° b & ˙.
‰ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
Ooo
fif - teen min - utes
nœœœ œœœ œœœ bœœœ
Ó
Fif - teen min - utes
58
œ
Of
SA ENSEMBLE
œ
fame
f
∑
∑
w
w
w w
w w
b˙˙
˙˙
w w
b˙˙
˙˙
Ooo
˙˙ ¢& b ˙ ‹
TB - ENSEMBLE
° b & 62
f
Ó
w w
Ooo
15
Piu Mosso q = 110
∑
bb j & b b b ‰ œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ. DANA
Big
b & b bbb ˙
bbbbb
15
b nw ¢& w ‹ 78
bbbbb
15
w &b w
81
œœ œ
œœœ
œœ œ
Ooh
° b & œ œ œ œ.
&b
j œ œ œ
BOTH
bro-ther
Ó
fif - teen min-utes
‰
bbbbb
CLODAGH
‰ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ. Ka - to - na
fif - teen min-utes
CLODAGH
j œ œ
œ
Steve Brook - stein
œ
‰
œ
fif - teen
œ œ.
min - utes
DANA
j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ X - fac - tor
‰
œ œ.
œ
Ap - pren - tice
fif - teen min-utes of
œ
œ
fif - teen
œ œ.
min - utes
fame
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book 84
b & b bbb ‰ œj œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ Lew - in - sky
# &#‰
87
j œ œ And
fif - teen min-utes of
œ
œ
Tow - ie
œ
fif - teen
fame
œ œ.
min-utes
Matt
j œ œ
‰
nnnnn## ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ.
Ó
˙
83
"
œ
œ
œ
Please Jed - ward, Fif - teen
Car - dle
œ œ œ œ
min-utes of
fif - teen min-utes
Ó
˙
fame
Slow — milk it!
° ## & Œ
DANA / CLODAGH
90
U œ
U œ
We
want
U nœ
#### # #
our
Broadly q = 90
j ‰ œ œ œ
j ‰ œ œ œ
CLODAGH
œ œ œ #œ.
fif - teen min-utes
DANA
œ œ œ œ.
Go - dam - mit
fif - teen min-utes
Sweet Je - sus
ENSEMBLE SA
f
# U & # nnw w
#### # Π#
œ.
Ahh
Fif
-
œ ˙
Œ
œœ ˙˙
Œ
œ.
teen
Fif
œ ˙ teen
-
ENSEMBLE TB
f
## nU w ¢& n w ‹ Ahh
#### # Π#
#œœ.. Fif
° #### # & # œ œ œ œ.
-
teen
Fif
œ
#### # Œ # & ¢ ‹
of
-
ice
#### # ¢& # Œ ‹
œœ.. ice
œ œœ
‰ œj œ œ
Buy tits like
Ka - tie Pri
œ ˙
Œ
œœ ˙˙
Œ
is
is
Vic
-
œ.
Pric
ce's
We've no
œ ˙ -
es
œœ ˙˙
œœ.. Pric
Vic
œ œ œ œ
-
es
-
œœ..
Œ
fame
œ œ œ œ œ.
vic - es
œ.
fame
œœ œœ œœ œœ ˙˙ min-utes of
to
Œ
œ œ œ œ ˙ min-utes of
‰ œj œ œ
ice is
œ.
teen
-
œ œ œ œ.
We'd say fare - well
teen
96
# ## # &# # Œ
˙
teen
° #### # & # œ œ œ œ. pagne on
fame
œœ ˙˙
œœ.. Fif
œ œ
œ ˙ -
œœ ˙˙
BOTH
fif - teen min - utes
œ.
Fif
‰ œj œ œ
93
## # & # ## Œ
œœ..
Go where cham -
œ ˙ es
œœ ˙˙ -
es
‰ œj œ œ
˙
shame
Since fame and
‰ œj œ œ ˙ We've no
shame
We've no
shame
œ œ œœ ˙˙ ‰ œJ œ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
84
° #### # œ œ œ j œ. ‰ œ œ œ & # 99
# ## # &# #
for - tune beck - oned
We're gon - na
œ œ œ œ. ‰ œj œ œ
seize each sec - ond
∑
It's
not what
j œ œ œ œ. œ œ
we'd have reck - oned
∑
still
j œ
we
∑
MALE ENSEMBLE ONLY
#### # p˙ ¢& # ‹ Ooh
n˙
j ‰ œ œ œ
102
claim
#### # œ # & ¢ ‹ Ah
Ah
° #### # #œ & # œ 105
Our pre - cious
œœ
œœ
œœ
œ
œ
œ
˙
˙
œ œ
œœ
fif - teen min-utes
f
Œ
œ.
Fif
œœ
j ‰ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ.
f
Œ
Our
Œ
œœ ˙˙
Œ
œœ
Fif - teen
#### # Ó # & ¢ ‹
œ
œ
Fif - teen
œœ nœœ
be thin
it's
œœ
œœ
of
fame
-
teen
œœ ˙˙
œœ.. Fif
time
œ ˙
œ. Fif
min - utes
#œœ
may
teen
-
‰ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
œ ˙
n˙˙..
˙˙
sto - ry
(split)
teen
-
œœ..
Fif
fif - teen
## # & # ## Ó
˙
Ooh
° #### # & # ˙ ## # & # ## œœ
#˙
-
teen
2
Meno
w w
˙˙
Ó
∑
˙
Ó
∑
2
min - utes
œ
œ
2
min - utes
DANA / CLODAGH
# ## # &# # Ó
110
" Freely ‰ œj œ œ Guess that's our
## # & # ## w
œ œ œ œ ˙
Ó
fif - teen min - utes
CLODAGH/DANA: Come on, sis, my G-string needs a rinse.
114
w
2
(split)
œ œ œ œœ œ œ of
w fame
œœ œœ
for our
85
No. 15
Finale CUE: WILLIAM EXITS James is left alone on stage and Marilyn enters.
Gently q = 110
##4 & # #4
œ.
MARILYN: Best speech you ever made.
œ J
˙
˙.
œ
JAMES: You think so? Look, Marilyn . . .
œ.
œ
œ J
˙
w
MARILYN: I know. But no matter how sorry you are, it doesn't change "us". JAMES: So what now?
# ## &#
5
accel.
œ.
œ J
˙
˙.
œ
j œ
œ.
œ
j œ
œ.
œ
œ
œ
œ
Move On q = 130 MARILYN
## &##
9
mp
œ œ œ
œ
Don't
## &##œ
stay
œ œ
œ œ œ
œ
shut
aw - ay
œ
œ
with
13
Op
-
œ
en
doors
#### Più mosso & nœ œ œ
œ
to
all
j œ œ
œ
"what
may
j œ œ
œ.
œ those
"might
j œ œ
œ
be"
in
have
That's
the
## &##˙
20
light
Œ
œ
nœ
that
œ
Those
25
&
A Tempo œ #### œ
# ## &#
29
q = 120
œ
"in
œ
œ
œ
œ
nœ
œ
guides
œ
us
˙.
be
tweens"
-
the
#œ œ we
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙
Œ
œ
scenes
‰
œ œœ J
œ
˙
˙ ˙˙
œ
j œ œœ œ
œ. œœ..
œ
Œ
˙.
dread
JAMES: I've got to get away. Avoid the press for a while. They've still only got Robbie's side of the story.
œ
œ
of
œ œ ˙.
MARILYN: Not Robbie's. I suspect it was William's side of the story. JAMES: But Robbie . . .
œ
change
œ
poco rall.
œ œ œ -
j œ
œ.
œ
through
Ó
˙
stead
-
œ
Ó
˙
beens"
w
17
œ
œ
œ
œœ
œ. œœ. œ ..
˙˙
œ J
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
86
## &##
32
# ## &#
36
## &##
41
œ œ J
œœ.. œ.
œ œ
˙
œ œ
œ œ
œ
œ
œ œ
œ J
œ J
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ.
œ
œ
˙. ˙.
œ J
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ œ
œ
œ
œ J
œ œ J
œ œ J
œ J
œ
œ
˙.
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
poco accel.
œ
œ
With momentum h = 106
nnnnbb b 2 b 2
w
˙
œ
œ
MARILYN (cont'd): He's catching a train out of here from London Bridge. JAMES exits leaving MARILYN alone.
˙.
œ œ
˙.
œ
œ
MARILYN: Good luck, James.
46
b & b bb
MARILYN: . . . is doing exactly what you're doing. Avoiding the Press. He hasn't spoken to them.
œ
œ
œ œ
œ
œ
œ
Meno h = 94 NARRATOR: The 14.18 train to Margate will be departing from platform 5 calling at Orpington, ...
50
b & b bb
œ J
œ J
œ
œ
˙
œ
œ
œ
˙
œ
˙
œ
œ
œ
w
NARRATOR (cont'd): . . .Sevenoaks, Tonbridge, Paddock Wood, Marden . . .
55
b & b bb
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
for
the
rall.
#w
œ
œ
œ
œ
j œ œ
nor
-
n˙
bw
#˙
w
Freely h = 90 61
ROBBIE
p
b & b bb œJ œ ‹ Wish bb j &b b œ œ ‹
65
Trou - ble
70
ing
j j œ œ œ is
b & b bb œ bœ ˙ ‹ bit - ious?
75
bb & b b bw ‹ for
œ J
j œ œ
they're hard
Œ
j œ œ
Am
w too
mal
œ -
I
j œ œ
œ
er
than
j œ œ out
kind
of
œ
w
œ
˙.
of
touch?
they
much?
˙.
Ó
˙ Œ
Ó
˙
dream
seem
Half Time Feel q. = 55
6 ˙. 8
w
œ
j œ œ
Am
#˙ Am
I
j œ œ
too
n˙
n˙ I
wish
2
#˙ -
NARRATOR (cont'd) . . . Minster,
ing
œ
am -
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
3
b & b bb ‹
## & # œ ‰ Œ. ‹ place?
œ
Gyp
2
## & # Œ. ‹
sies
of
the
œ.
.. Œ.
e
œ.
nœ.
You
are
seem
strange
ther
œ.
œ.
my
far
° #2 & 2 ‹ JAMES - half spoken #2 & ¢ 2 œj ‹ Go ° # & ˙. ‹
œ
- ing
113
#
∑
4
n .. n # 22
VAMP
..
∑
p
j œ
œ
Cin - e
j œ to
j œ
j œ
œ a
night
Œ
œ bœ -
club
j œ
mas
-
Œ
˙
∑ j œ œ
∑ j œ
j j œ œ œ in
nice
j œ œ
Œ
œ bœ ˙
rest
j œ
j œ
œ
and
such
∑
Hap - py
∑
ger
friend
∑
Eat - ing
° # & ˙. ‹
stran -
ROBBIE - half spoken
110 Freely h = 110
p
Œ.
j j œ œ œ
(They kiss)
3
## &# ‹
this
space
œ
in - ti - mate
in
œ.
in
Œ.
nœ.
œ œ
œ
Meet - ing
nœ œ œ œ J my
a - way
œ
Wan - der - ers
Œ
œ œ nœ
‰ Œ.
j œ œ œ œ œ
are
œ J
Œ
œ
œ œ. J
-
Œ.
it
œ
ROBBIE: But because of me you had to give it all up. JAMES: No. Robbie, it was because of me. Look, what I want is normal.
106
j j œ œ œ to
go
j œ dutch
∑
'rants
-
ROBBIE: I don't think so.
117
¢& ‹
-
œ
You
98
#
# p nnnn## œ œ œ
j œ œ œ œ
ROBBIE: Are you sure about this? Are you sure it's what you really want? mp JAMES
## & # .. ‹
¢& ‹
JAMES
Does - n't
87
92
Più mosso q. = 75
rit. NARRATOR (CONT'D): Ramsgate, Dumpton Park, Broadstairs and Margate.
81
87
Œ ∑
More rhythmic h = 100
∑
JAMES
œ
œ
œ
œ
Am
I
too
am
∑ œ
-
rit.
˙
bi - tious?
Œ
U ∑
∑
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙.
Am
I
out
of
touch?
U Œ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
88
They turn to find their platform as VELCRO runs in (or enters on SIDESADDLE's rickshaw).
122
& ‹
#
2
A Tempo h = 100
2
rit.
####
VELCRO: Robbie! Robbie! Wait!
# ## &# ‹
126
## &## ‹
Moving on h = 110
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
134
## &## ‹
138
˙˙ ˙˙
j œ
œ
œ
j œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
ROBBIE: Velcro!
œœ.. œœ. .
˙˙ ˙˙
j œœ œœ
## &## ‹
j œ
œ
œ.
j œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
˙
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
j œœ œœ
œœ. œœ...
œ
œ
œ
j œ œœœ
œœ. œœ...
˙
˙ ˙˙˙
VELCRO: Sorry. (She pulls a face as if to say "stupid me".) She told me about these websites. Anyone can trace a Will.
j œœ œœ
œœ.. œœ. .
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
˙˙ ˙˙
œœ. œœ .. .
˙˙ ˙˙
# ## & # .. ˙˙˙ ˙ ‹
j œœ œœ
j œ œœœ
œœ. œœ...
œ œœœ
œ
œ
œ
ROBBIE: (the penny drops.): Of course I was. VELCRO: Exactly. Well guess what. You're the sole Benny . . . you're the sole Bennyfish . . .
˙ ˙˙˙
œœ
œœ
j œœ œœ
œœ. œœ...
˙˙ ˙˙
˙ ˙˙˙
j œ œ œ œ
œœ.. œ.
˙˙ ˙˙
œœ
œ œ
˙˙ ˙˙
VECRO (cont'd): Oh, it's all yours, here y'are. (Hands him an envelope) ROBBIE (reading it): I knew it. Thank you Mum. You didn't let me down.
nw n nw ww
ww w w
152
# ## &# ‹
œ.
JAMES: Marilyn?
VELCRO: Yeah, you know...well of course you know.
147
156
j œ
œ
ROBBIE: There is no Will. VELCRO: No, no you were told there's no Will. By Les' solicitor.
## &## ‹
142
j œ
œ
œ
VELCRO: I spoke with Marilyn
130
## &## ‹
ROBBIE: Cro! What are you doing here?
n˙
JAMES: I don't believe it . . .
j œ œœœ
œœ.. œœ. .
w w ww
˙
VELCRO: No it's true.
˙ ˙˙˙
‰
JAMES: I mean that. Look . . .
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j œ
j œ œœ œ
œ
œ
œ
œ
j œ œœœ
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œ
˙ ˙˙˙
NARRATOR: James has spotted the live news screen on the station platform which is flashing up a breaking news story.
˙˙ ˙˙
œœœ... œ.
j œœ œœ
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˙˙˙ ˙
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œœ. . œœ..
j œœ œœ
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j œ œœœ
œ œœœ
œ
œ
œ
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
## &## ‹
˙ ˙˙ ˙
# ## &# ‹
˙˙ ˙˙
160
164
89
NARRATOR (cont'd): "William George forced to stand down after assistant Sasha Larkin
˙ ˙˙ ˙
œœ. œœ .. .
j œœ
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˙ ˙˙˙
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alleges sexual harrassment in the workplace" JAMES: Good on you, Sasha. About time too.
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j œ œ
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nw nnw ww
ww w w
ROBBIE: Well, see you in a bit. When all this has blown over. VELCRO: Talking of blowing over, have you told him?
# ## & # n˙ ‹
167
## &## ‹
170
174
& ‹ 178
& ‹
#
#
w œœ
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OPTIONAL 2 BAR VAMP - 2nd time only
JAMES: Told me what?
œ
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VELCRO: Where he’s scattering the ashes.
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ROBBIE: Margate Pleasureland was her favourite place. What’s wrong with that?
œ
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nbb b b
VELCRO: Yes, but not on top of the bloody log flume!
œ
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° bb bffw & b ‹ Wish
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ROBBIE
182
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JAMES & VELCRO
bb w ¢& b b ‹ Wish ff
190 ° bb œ &b b ‹ Hop
bb œ ¢& b b ‹ Hop
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drum
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w
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that
aim
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ing
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˙
Ó
j œ
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Ó
high?
high?
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
90
° bb b œ œ & b J ‹ 194
Oth - ers
œ œ
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to
œ
find
bb b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ¢& b J J ‹ Oth - ers seem to find 198
b & b bb
203
b & b bb
j œ œ œ œ
j j œ œ œ œ œ œ
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it
Tell
me
why oh why oh why can't
I?
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me
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w
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I?
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STRANGER: Stupid question. Do you know anything about goldfish?
STRANGER & VELCRO: Oh, I'm sorry. No it was me.
j œœ œœ
why oh why oh why can't
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w
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sp
STRANGER (cont'd): I just won this at the funfair. Throwing ping pong balls into jam jars.
210
b & b bb
œ.
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w
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Slower h = 80
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VELCRO: no. . . . no. I . . .
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Freely 216
b & b bb
STRANGER starts to leave . . .
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VELCRO
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Just
221
4
Bells are Ringing h = 100
b b4 &b b 4
229
b & b bb
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VELCRO: Wait . . . !
p
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a
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gold - fish...
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4 4
91
No. 16
Bows First full chorus
Irresistible q = 140
b4 &b 4
∑
Ó
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5
b &b
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17
b &b
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31
b &b
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2nd Alt. Verse
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35
b &b
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Chorus 2nd half
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27
b &b
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23
b &b
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13
b &b
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Bridge
9
b &b
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Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
92 39
b & b œj
j œ
SIDESADDLE
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Come
on
guys
° b j &b œ œ iage
is
b &b Ó ‹
45
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take
you
for
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take
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take
you
for
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take
you
for
Baritones
° ## & œ 48
# &#œ # &#œ ‹
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wait
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en
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b ¢& b Ó ‹ ° ## & œ
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42
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poco rall
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side
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the
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side
side
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to
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the
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the
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j œ œ Well
I
ball
ball
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Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
° ## œ & 51
SIDESADDLE
œ
do
# &#œ
œ do
##ALLœ boys œ ¢& ‹ do ° ## œ & 55
œ
œ œ
œ œ œ
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tricks with pump
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needs
veg
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ver
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j j œ œ œ.
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j œœ
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kins
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j œ œ
min
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Ó
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price
shall
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price
shall
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Go
for
a
night
b œ &b b ‹ Go
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for
a
night
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for
a
night
ALL Girls
Baritones
œ nœœ
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glitz
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of
glitz
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of
glitz
shall
˙˙ ˙ ˙
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from
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go
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ball
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bœ
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the
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bœ
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who
for half
Meno mosso q = 110
nnbb œ b
But
˙
When you've got
price
b œ ¢& b b ‹ Go
-
When you've got
59
Tenors
Hor
œ œ ˙
mice
° ## & w
63
mice
me
w w
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from white
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mice
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and
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> œ œ
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kins
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tricks with pump
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kins
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tricks with pump
‰ œj œ
93
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‰
j œ œ
œ
To
ball
œ J
the
œ
To
the
œ J
œ
to
the
œ ball
œ ball
Soho Cinders — Vocal Book
94
° bb & bœ 66
œ.
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œ
Cin - der - el - la
b œ &b b ‹
œ.
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œ.
œ nœœ
And
min - gle
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b œ ¢& b b ‹
j œ
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œ
And
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Cin - der - el - la
And
œ bœ œ œ
œ œ
œœ
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com - plete - ly
off
your
b bœ bœœ bœœ bœœ ¢& b b b œ ‹ get com - plete - ly
œœ
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off
your
69
ALL Girls
œœ
ALL Boys
° bb bœœ & b œ ‹ slip 72
b bœœœ ¢& b b ‹ slip
˙˙˙ -
per...
˙˙˙ -
Œ
per...
" w w w w fits
Œ
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œ œ
with those pom
œ
œ
min - gle
œ J
° bb bœ & b ‹ get
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œ
œ
min - gle
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pous
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pous
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with those pom
˙˙
-
œ
with those pom
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œœ
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JAMES: Robbie?
Œ
pous
‰
tits
œœ
˙˙
Œ
‰
tits
œœ
˙˙
Œ
gits
œ
And
˙
Œ
œ
And
˙
Œ
gits
And
rit.
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œ
œ
œœœ
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see
if
the
glass
œ J
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œœœ
see
if
the
glass
œ J
w w w w
œœœ œ J
‰
Œ
Ó
w w w
w w w
œœ œ J
‰
Œ
Ó
Playout TACET
j nœ
‰
w w w w
No. 17
œ J
‰
gits
And
fits
œ J
‰
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