SEXUALITY.doc

SEXUALITY Sexology, sexologist, sex therapist, sex therapy.

By Eric EH Buddhadharma All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or language or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the author and the publisher Eric EH Buddhadharma Author June 2012 Price:US$ 2.99 CONTENTS 0.INTRODUCTION TO THIS EBOOK ON SEXUALITY. 1.WHAT ARE SEXUAL PROBLEMS & DYSFUNCTIONS. 2.WHEN THINGS GO WRONG IN SEX LIFE 3.WHY DO THINGS GO WRONG IN SEX LIFE 4.STEP BY STEP TO A HEALTHY SEX LIFE 5.SEX AND MARRIAGE 6.SEX FOR YOUNG PEOPLE 7.SPIRITUALITY IN SUCCESSFUL SEX 8. MALE SEXUAL DISORDERS 9.ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION 10.PREMATURE EJACULATION 11.WEAKNESSES OF THE BODY AND MIND 12.ILLNESSES- CAUSING SEXUAL PROBLEMS 13.HOW TO OVERCOME SEXUAL PROBLEMS 14.MEDICAL ATTENTION TO YOUR SEXUAL PROBLEMS. 15.FEMALE SEXUAL DISORDERS 16. SEXUAL DISORDERS IN FEMALES 17.ILLNESSES THAT CAUSES LOSS OF LIBIDO. 18.MEDICAL ATTENTION TO YOUR SEX PROBLEMS. 19.SEX AFTER 60 20.HOW TO REMAIN SEXY AFTER SIXTY. 21.TRUTH ABOUT AGE AND SEX 22.SICK AT SIXTY 23.MENOPAUSE IN OLDER WOMEN 24.SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN WOMEN AT 60. 25.WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEX DRIVE AT SIXTY. 26.VALUABLE INFORMATION ON SEX HEALTH 27.FOOD/FRUITS/VITAMINS/VEGETABLES 28.QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS IN SEX RELATED PROBLEMS 0.INTRODUCTION TO THIS EBOOK ON SEXUALITY.

The only guidebook in the world that provides you with an insight into what actually is sexually wrong within you - mentally, physically and spiritually and how to get cure for it. This book may not have those glossy erotic pictures, but I can assure you, this book has what you are looking for- getting back that sexual desire or power, you lost some years ago. In a matter of fact way, it deals with most sexual problems in the modern times due to stress, distress and unhealthy lifestyle. Most books and remedies are there to mislead you into believing which may not be true. The authors and the remedy makers, themselves may be victims of sexual dysfunction, which no one knows for sure. Their motive is simply to cash in on your temporary sexual disability. This book is written by an author, himself into physical fitness. He is passing down the knowledge to his readers based upon his proven and established super physical, sexual, and mental abilities. What better way there is, than to read a book written by someone bubbling with energy and youth at over 60 years of age! My guide is based upon spiritual wisdom and logic and not on some whimsical and hypothetical fast selling formula. You may have already spent a fortune finding a cure for your sexual problem, but now you are careful and would not like to part with another cent, just in case the next investment turns out to be another fake. I suggest, you assume this small amount too, which you are investing in this guide, will go down the drain. After reading this guidebook from cover to cover, and using its valuable information, I am sure you will cure yourself of the dreaded malfunction. You will someday bless me for writing this guidebook; that day would be the day for me to rejoice. Have a happy sexual life, now and always, God bless you! Eric EH Buddhadharma Author June 2012. SEXUALITY SEXOLOGIST & SEX THERAPIST. 1.WHAT ARE SEXUAL PROBLEMS & DYSFUNCTIONS. Men by default, are the cause for the survival of human species since time immemorial. Men have that urge to impregnate women when they see one. This led humankind to increase and spread his species around this world. Therefore, the act of having sex is built into humankind, in the same way he breathes and feels hungry and eats to survive. Man by nature is a confirmed potential rapist, like any other animal. Sex is not only a great pastime but also the most pleasurable and a good way to make up after a quarrel or anger. There are numerous benefits attached to having sex anytime of the day or night. It keeps you calm and you get a good night’s sleep. Besides, it burns calories, improves your blood circulation and takes away your stress. It also helps psychologically and strengthens relationships. In a way, it keeps you young and energetic. After a long day’s work, the best thing you can do is have sex to relax you before sleep. When you miss this gift of god, you miss something that could take away your aches and pains, your stress and insomnia. Unfortunately, sometimes in life the ability to enjoy sex diminishes, bringing so many related miseries into one’s life. One naturally feels frustrated and low when one cannot perform sex, as one did a few years ago, sometimes, sending a wrong signal to the partner who may get a feeling of not being attractive to his or her partner anymore. All these create more problems, which gets worst with the passing of time; creating a distance between the partners. When sexual act cannot be performed normally at any time, it may be a sign of sexual problem. Hindrances in having sex, like the loss of desire, arousal, orgasm or inability of penetration, are reasons that keep away couples from enjoying sex. There is no exact measure of what exactly is normal sex in terms of frequency. Some people may want to have sex everyday while some may

remain satisfied once a week. Only when the desire dies down completely or there is a genuine sexual performance problem, it may be regarded as a dysfunction. Sexual dysfunctions may be of several types, common are the loss of desire, inability to reach orgasm, loss of arousal, loss of erection and painful sex. These problems are the reasons for aversion to sex between couples. It is not uncommon for young people to suffer from sexual dysfunction. Over the years again, middle age sexual problems begin to set in, such as menopause, pre and post included. Our physiology and biomechanics are all made to last for us over a hundred years, but unfortunately stress, distress, alcohol abuse, rich diet, smoking, sedentary habits and all similar self-abuse hinder the body from staying youthful and in good working condition. A very gradual onset of diseases spread in such people; due to the disease, there is a loss of health, which is further enhanced due to medication. Diseases such as diabetes, sclerosis, tumors, venereal diseases, thyroid dysfunction, vital organ dysfunction, are all reasons for low testosterone, estrogens and androgen. Certain conditions such as increased sound level, bright light, psychological disturbances could lead to loss of intimacy, depression, distractions and fatigue, which ultimately manifests itself as low sex drive. Physical appearance and attractiveness of the opposite sex also influences the desire for having sex with the partner. Unhealthy and sickly people also have extremely low libido. They are forever picking and finding faults in one another, which puts off the partner in having sex with such a person. Overall, such people undergo physical deterioration and mental depression. This ultimately leads to sexual problems. Such people ultimately withdraw themselves and become averse to sex. In a relationship the desire to have sex with the partner is very important. Loss of sex drive in any one of the partner can lead to problems in relationship, infidelity in men, poor understanding and communication between the partners. It is therefore, very important for parents, teachers and elders to inculcate good habits in children, such as good food habits, active sports, cleanliness, conscious of the bad effect of alcohol, smoking and drugs. They should also be provided some sex education so that they know good from bad. This way they will not suffer from sexual dysfunctions until their old age. It is very important for people to discuss their sexual problems either with their partners or with their doctors. Sexual problems are mostly reversible and curable. In ailing people, drugs should be administered after considering it’s after effect in the patients’ sex life. Alternatively, the patient should be informed of the temporary bad effect of the drug on sex. This way the patient will be aware of any temporary sexual setback due to those drugs. Drugs like antihistamines, stimulants, anti-hypersensitive, and certain psychotherapeutic drugs leads to loss of sex. Neurological problems and spinal cord disorder are other reasons for sexual dysfunction. Partners should make it a point to be open to each other about their sexual inabilities. This way one partner will be able to confide in the other and find help to improve the sexual condition of the other partner. If you feel that your partner is sexually abusing you, due to which you do not enjoy sex, bring the matter to the notice of your doctor or to your local family counselor, who will sort out this problem for you. Sexual problems between partners arises either at the beginning of their sexual experience or after a few years when the thrill dies down. Only good understanding between them can let the sexual relationship survive.

Sometimes, physical and physiological distress becomes the cause of sexual dysfunction in a person. Distress and uncomfortable feelings, ultimately does not allow the person to like sex anymore, gradually this leads to complete aversion. Everyone, during their lifetime, sometimes experience sexual dysfunctions, such as loss of libido, erectile dysfunction, loss of desire and loss of orgasm, vaginal dryness and similar sex disturbances. This is common and a normal way of life. Every human being, at any time during their lifetime, undergoes mental stress or physical stress or both which effects the sex life of the person, it could be from financial burden, academic examinations, disease, illness, court cases, enmity, fright and fear of someone or something. It could also arise from psychological and emotional stress, relationship problems; disagreement between partners, Pain during sex is a great deterrent for women. Some people believe women in their 30’s turn sexually very active, they have more orgasm at thirty than any other time in their life. However, fact is, sexual deficiency could strike anyone at any age; there is no hard and fast rule here. It is a fact, by thirty women know themselves and their body well, they are more confident about themselves and worry less or have less anxiety when indulging in sex with her partner. They are more open to their partners than when they were in their twenties. Between men and women the testosterone level in women decreases very slowly with age, meaning at thirty women are more virile than men are. Surprisingly, research shows that young women even experience sexual dysfunction and pain at the time of sex. Some even found no pleasure in sex while some were suffering from anxiety. Men generally experienced sexual dysfunction as they reached their 50’s and 60’s. With medication, people report higher sexual problems. Men generally attribute their sexual dysfunction to ageing. This is not correct. Problems should be discussed with the doctor to find a cure. Some sexual problems resolve on its own and with time and corrective lifestyle. Unfortunately, most of the time sexual problems are never reported. Sexual problems are regarded as a normal way of life and a part of ageing. Sexual debility, especially amongst the poor and middle classes, are regarded as normal and therefore, never discussed. If you light a bulb with electricity it is healthy but if you hold the live wire with your naked hands it could kill you. In the same way, sex is bliss for most of us but when it comes to child abuse as well as rape, it turns ugly and those victims may suffer mentally and physically all their life. They may even be averse to sex later in life. Sex without the consent or feelings for each other is always unhealthy and injurious. Sometimes excessive sex drive is injurious too, it tells upon one’s career and character. When people are used to having sex without any bonding or commitment with their partners, they get into the habit of mechanical sex life without any bonding or emotion. When such people get married they show such signs to their life partners too, leading to loss of emotion, bonding, love and trust. This could also be a cause of aversion to sex by the partner, who experiences such emotionless sexual gratification by the other partner. Free sex leads to undue abortion and diseases like AIDS and HIV and venereal diseases. Free sex ultimately leads to diseases with loss of libido and erectile dysfunction in course of time. Many famous people destroyed themselves by indulging in undue sexual acts. Sex should be regarded as a gift of god to mankind. All living beings (sentient-beings) indulge in sexual practice; mankind continues to experiment and enjoy it the most, lingering the sexual session for a much longer time than their other sentient counterpart.

Patients, when put through a series of questions and information checklist, will only be able to identify the reasons for their sexual dysfunctions. If they are made conscious of the time they were sexually healthy and active; between then and now, when they are unable or averse to sexual activities will only enable them to find the underlying cause of their problems. However, not everything is lost when one experiences a sexual dysfunction or any sexual problem. You can get back that youth again provided you follow certain rules and seek the advice of your doctor, if all else fails. With medical progress there are several remedies now available in the market for male as well as female sexual dysfunctions. Some are reliable while most are doubtful and a colossal waste of money. For females, the solution is more complex because, their sex is influenced physically as well as emotionally. Later in this book, you will come to chapters that will provide you with corrective methods to overcome your sexual deficiency. 2.WHEN THINGS GO WRONG IN SEX LIFE Sexual problems could begin anytime in one’s life. There is no hard and fast, and no specific set of rules that may define or pinpoint sexual problems in one’s life. The child may be born with sexual deficiency or develop one gradually. Most of the time, sex problem develops with stress, unhealthy life style, medication and so many factors, as said earlier. Behavioral treatment, counseling and changes in lifestyle with some medication may treat problems related to orgasm, erectile dysfunction and low libido in women. In many cases guidance and sex education may also help. Sex therapy and psychotherapy helps too. Sexual dysfunction if not treated, as said earlier, may lead to a turmoil in one’s married life and also make the person withdraw from active life and society. If the dysfunction is getting serious, please visit your doctor. This problem is mostly corrected by getting a diagnosis done for the cause; opening to your partner about this issue, changing your lifestyle, changing the pattern of your work, re-inventing ways to have sex with your partnermaybe a holiday to a faraway quiet resort. Sexual problem could be classified into four different categories: Desire syndrome, arousal syndrome, orgasm syndrome and pain syndrome. DESIRE SYNDROME: Low libido in women and the loss of desire and interest in sex amongst men. AROUSAL SYNDROME: Inability to get aroused physically, at the time of sexual activity. ORGASM SYNDROME: Inability to reach climax or orgasm in women PAIN SYNDROME: In women, pain during penetration is regarded as sexual problem. Reasons for all the above syndromes could be physiological, psychological, medical, environmental or social. Sometimes talking to your partner, help improve the sex situation behind closed doors. Most of the time, the problem is mental than physical. Whatever the case may be, you can even analyze your sexual problem and try to avoid those which aggravates the situation in the bedroom; such as pain, privacy, tiredness, stress or anger. Sometimes pheromone perfume works and has scientific backing. Medication or any artificial aid makes a woman feel inadequate sexually. Therefore, it is imperative both partners encourage the use of such aids to make the situation feel normal.

Sex therapy is another tool to solve sex problem. Both partners could benefit from therapy, most of the time it works and normalizes the situation. You have purchased this book only because you would like to solve your sexual problem yourself rather than talk to your doctor or any sexologist, which is uncomfortable not only for you but for anybody. This book will endeavor to show you the ways in which you may solve your sexual problem and lead a normal sex life again. Try to follow the guidelines in this book religiously, giving it some time to see results. Worry, depression, anger, frustration, withdrawal from society or any such behavior is useless and a hindrance to your, leading a happy and healthy sexual life again. If you keep worrying, it turns into a disease by itself. Have a positive attitude and you will experience a change in your behavior and gradually you will experience a permanent cure to your problem without much medication or professional help. 3.WHY DO THINGS GO WRONG IN SEX LIFE Occasionally, sex problem arises during one’s lifetime, which is normal and acceptable. Instead of worrying about it, the person will do well by first analyzing the reason behind the problem. If this book, had been written for living beings other than humankind, it would have been simple and easy. However, since this book is specifically written for us, humans, it is, therefore, imperative we cover every aspect leading to the cause of the problems. Honestly, we human are very complex beings, psychologically and physiologically; lifestyle and behavior are dynamic and complex too. All these gives rise to extreme sexual problems in humankind. With our complex nature, we are the sole architect of our sexual problems. When you ask your doctor, why do things go wrong in our sex life, the list, he may rattle off would be never ending and may lead you to a dead end sometimes. Man, with superior ability, behavior, civilisation, technological advancements, and lifestyle have never-ending reasons for his sexual problems. These never-ending reasons, give rise to our inability in finding the cause underlying the problems. The causes could be divided into physical, psychological and social. Physical inadequacy such as, vaginal pain during intercourse, effects of certain medicines, which could suppress the sexual desire in a person. Psychological disorder, such as past sexual trauma or feelings of inferiority or bad looks. Social factors such as economic conditions, quarrel with neighbors and stress related activities, are all reasons to lower one’s libido. Nevertheless, after years of research and monitoring and analyzing sexual problems in humankind, worldwide, mostly the following reasons have been found to be commonly associated with sexual problems in male and female, alike: Decreased estrogens in women: During the onset of menopause estrogens level goes down in women. This is when the desire to have sex slowly diminishes. Other times in life too some women shows symptoms of low estrogens level. Generally, estrogens, with oxytocin, are responsible for the sex drive in women, their attractive and seductive looks, and their body language to attract men. Unfortunately, with age and childbirths estrogens level diminishes, making women less attractive and available to her partner. Ovaries in women produce estrogens. Only on reaching puberty does estrogens level shoots up in girls, bringing maturity and shaping her body, the cycle continues until menopause sets in. Decreased testosterone in men and women: Testosterone is a hormone which apart from other functions, also influences a man in having desire for sex. With age the testosterone level, which triggers desire in men to have sex, keeps lowering with age causing less sex drive in them. This is why congenital disorder in the production of testosterone causes puberty failure in boys and

later lack of interest in sex. Congenital disorder of the testes also causes low level of testosterone. Testosterone is regarded as male sex hormone, but women too have a trace amount of this hormone. Women have three basic sex hormones produces in her ovaries and adrenal glandsestrogens, progesterone, and testosterone. Like men, with age these hormones depletes in women lowering her libido, showing signs of agitation and ageing. With lower sex hormones, women cannot catabolize her fat, making her obese or with higher fat deposit, loss of bone density as well as dryness in vagina. Health of the partners: With good health comes good sex. However, if either partner is ill and suffering with diseases, sex does not turn out to be the way it should be. With ill health much is left to be desired to experience a blissful sex. Ageing in men and women: We age in mind and not in body and I believe it so. Sexual problems in older men are attributed to their ageing process. To some extent, this may be true but the claim is exaggerated. When a man gets old, he should look back to the time he can remember his childhood. Let him analyze all what he did, his habits, his ways and the stressful life he led all these years. When a list is prepared of his activities since he was 18 until his old age now, he can see for himself, how he abused his body and stressed his mind. How he lived a life full of unpardonable sins in the form of food, alcohol, lifestyle and depriving himself of that good old sleep. He may have done all those mostly, which deprived his body and mind of healthy nutrients and rest. Briefly, he brought ageing on himself quicker than natural for him. Fatigue due to household and office work or other activities: Many people commute for hours each day and work in situations, which are unfriendly and consuming. They work because they have to, they have no choice. Since they do not enjoy their work, the hours they spend working and commuting to and fro their place of work, makes them depressed or agitated. Such people lose interest in sex, because their mind is preoccupied with the thought of getting back to work the next day and starting the grind once again. As for women, especially with children, they shoulder a thankless responsibility of looking after the home as well as the children and their studies. It leaves them drained and with aches and pains. Household chores are demanding and so are children and their studies. Women lose interest in sex when stressed with planning their daily routine which starts from the evening for the next day. Insomnia: Lack of sleep often affects sex drive in men and women. People who have poor sleep pattern complain of being too tired or sleepy. They are lethargic, unresponsive and listless at the time of making love. Sex does not bring them pleasure anymore. Fright of performance: Sometimes men worry too much about their performance in bed, what if he fails to have an erection, if he ejaculates prematurely. I have myself spoken to people, who worry about such things before they go out on dates. The more you think the worst your problem become. Think, if you are healthy and able, erection will happen all by itself and you will enjoy sex normally. Pregnancy/child birth/breast feeding in women: During the pregnancy, stage women are apprehensive about their pregnancy, the outcome and countdown is always at the back of their mind. The physiological changes in a woman’s body too waxes and wanes her libido. During the childbirth, the women are exhausted and lose much of their energy and nutrients leaving them famished and in need of vitamins, minerals, energy, strength, and reassurance from her loved ones and her partner of course. Breast-feeding too takes away much of the nutrients from her body. All these tells upon the woman mentally and physically, it is, therefore, natural for her to

have a loss of interest in sex, albeit temporarily. With child or children, the attention of the wife is also divided and there is always less romance left between the partners after childbirth. Psychiatric conditions in men and women: Some people are weak mentally, which is why they lose their reasons when under stress or the loss of their loved ones. Mentally they are so upset or derailed that sex is the last thing on their mind. Only psychiatric treatment may cure them of their illness. Lack of vaginal lubrication: Due to low estrogens level there may be a dryness of vagina. Other causes could be tiredness, depression and various conditions leading to low sex drive. Use of oral contraceptives in women: The possible side effect of using oral contraceptives in women is diminished sex drive or low libido and all related symptoms such as loss of interest and enjoyment of sex. Sex hormone binding protein (SHBG) attaches itself to the free circulating testosterone making it inaccessible to the cells in the body thereby decreasing the desire for sex. Chemotherapy drugs: It has a retarding effect on sex. First the medication itself and second, the disease, which is painful as well as terminal. Diabetes: Men and women, both suffer from sexual problems due to diabetes. In men, the sexual problems are with erection, due to the damage of nerves (neuropathy) or the blood vessels in the penis. Diabetes also hinders the production of nitric oxide, released in penis for a normal erection. In women there could be dryness of vagina due to the damage of nerves and blood vessels. Pain during sex may also be due to yeast infection which thrives in the presence of high sugar. Diabetes reduces energy in the body thus, lowering sex drive in women. In men as well as women, sexual activities uses large amount of energy due to which there may be a drop in the sugar level in the body. This needs to be kept in mind if either or both partners are diabetic and their sugar level drops beyond the healthy limits. Hypertension: Hypertension is not a disease by itself, but a symptom of the existing disease in the body. Like all other diseases, hypertension too is the cause of low sex drive in men and women. It causes erection problem in men due to disturbed blood flow to the penis. The arteries may lose its elasticity thus, causing blockage in the blood supply to the penis resulting to erectile dysfunction. In women, it may lead to dryness of the vagina or painful intercourse. Alcohol/drugs/tobacco abuses: The effect of these three ills is deadly and directly affects the sex drive in men; women, not ruled out. Addiction can ruin not only the sex drive in a person but himself too. Vaginal infection: Mostly, the cause of low sex drive in women due to vaginal infection is depression. Having to live with infection makes a person depressed and lose interest in sex. Another cause is the pain associated with the infection. Good news is such infections are curable and the person can return to normal life. Depression: Emotional factors, fall out with one’s partner, lack of trust, marital problems, misunderstandings and several factors that, may lead to depression is a cause for low sex drive in men and women. Anxiety disorder: This mental disorder is mostly the reason for sexual problems in men and women. Undue anxiety or panic disorder leads to serious sexual dysfunction. Women are prone to panic disorder and therefore, have good reasons to lose their sex drive. Men in such situations may suffer from premature ejaculation. Self-abuse: In any form, self-abuse always leaves its mark in your sexual life. If you ever selfabused yourself, which is mostly physical, you must try to find ways to get over it or at least find

a cure for the ills it may leave you with. Disrespecting your body, in any way, is self-abuse. The term is broad and the effect, in many cases, everlasting. Past sexual trauma/abuse: In cases where the person had a bad sexual experience, such as rape, molestation or sexual advances. Mostly children and women, the memory always haunts the person and sex becomes ugly and unpleasant. This is mostly, a mental condition and needs to be treated by a psychiatrist. The person needs to be reassured about the normal side to sex life and also needs to understand that there are always good as well as bad sides to most things in life. If something bad happened, it does not mean there is nothing good about it. Let the person talk to people about their sex life, how good they feel in having sex and explore the good side of sex. Stresses: Stress is a big killer. If it does not kill, it takes away the joy from one’s life. Either way the person suffers. Stress is always related to fright. Fright of bad performance, timely work, keeping a promise and such other related happenings in life, always invites stress. Stress is a form of disease. If we invite stress into our lives, we are opening the gateway to diseases. Stress lets you into other forms of activities such as smoking, alcohol, anger, overeating or under eating. Nothing good ever happened with stress in our lives. If we use that much energy in redeeming the reason giving us that stress, we may be able to solve the problem as well as get back to living normally once the stress is gone. Even if we fail to solve the problem, stress may not help us in anyway. It is, therefore, wise for us to accept what may come and let the stress pass away. Vaginal pain: There are several reasons to this problem, mostly being the fear of pain and therefore, the inability to relax the vagina. Undue contraction of the vagina is the cause of the pain, as well as certain fungal diseases like Yeast and infection. Menopause: loss of libido during or after menopause is not only physical, but also mental. With the passing of years, women go through so many phases in her life. Routine life with day-to-day responsibilities as well as bringing up children. Family and partner problems and dealing with mundane tasks leaves her with little or no desire to have sex. Meanwhile, in so many years, being together, mostly husbands get used to their wives and life turns routine and each one takes the other for granted. Unless partners find ways to keep their marriage renewed, loss of libido in women is attributed to menopause only. Spinal injuries: Nerve damage in the spine causes sexual dysfunction. There is a limited cure for this in the form of surgery. Enlarged prostate gland: Pain and discomfort of prostate enlargement lowers the desire for sex in men. It is unfortunate, but true, with unhealthy lifestyle and no exercise, most men on reaching old age experiences prostate enlargement. In the management of prostate cancer, high level of estrogens is injected leading to a loss of sexual desire in men. Antihypertensive, antihistamine, and psychotherapeutic drugs: If you are on any of these types of drugs, you may experience a loss of desire for sex. The symptoms generally vanish once you are out of those drugs. You may need to take plenty of fruit juices and water to clear your system of the toxic effect of these drugs in your body, specially the liver and the kidneys. Endocrine disorders: Hypothyroid symptoms generally are associated with uneasy palpitation. This is due to the low secretion of thyroxin, sodium from your thyroid gland. The symptom itself makes the desire to have sex uncomfortable. Diseases involving vital organs: Any disease connected with heart, lungs, kidney, and liver leaves the person with little or no energy to indulge in sex. The disease itself makes the person depressed and the mind is forever engaged with the thoughts of medicines, doctor’s advice and

the anxiety of getting out of the dreaded disease. Pain and other symptoms of the diseases of the vital organs, are serious and sometimes unbearable at later stages; naturally, under such circumstances one cannot think of indulging in such vigorous sexual activity. Unfortunately, diseases of the vital organs lead to organ failure, of which the patient mostly is aware. In such cases, there is no point of return and there is no sex, the disease is terminal and will get worst with time. Nerve damage: Nerve damage, unless serious and life threatening, lowers the sex drive, but there is not a complete loss of sex. Nerve damage is cured by surgery, as well as by prescription drugs. Your doctor may advise on this matter. Blood supply and circulation problems: Bad blood circulation, bad sex life, is the simple theory. Blood supply to the penis, if blocked, such as high cholesterol deposit or hardening of the arteries (Atherosclerosis) may be the cause of sexual dysfunction and loss of erection in men. This is why, it is imperative men with bad blood circulation must do some physical exercise each day, while men with high cholesterol deposit must find ways, with the help of their doctors in reducing their cholesterol deposit in order to have a free flow of blood into their penis for a successful erection. The cause of many unsuccessful erections in men is due, to blocked arteries of the penis. Genetic and birth defects: Some unfortunate children are born defective, sickly and with sexual deficiency by birth. Nothing much can be done to improve their conditions. With the advancement in science and technology, of course, to some extent certain deformities and genetic deficiencies could be rectified. Such facilities could be recommended by a good physician as well as finding it on the net and then seeking their advice and help or services for the cure, if any. Finding the names of other patients who may have underwent similar therapy or surgery and seeking their opinion is not a bad idea too. Poor lifestyle or quality of life: When the income comes down while the expenses remain constant, when the bare facility of life cannot be met and when small things worry in life, sex is a past game for such people. People who keep awake until late night, sleeping less and partying or worrying more, they lose sex drive gradually. People who sleep less and live a sedentary life, generally age fast and by the time they reach middle age, they lose interest in sex or have premature ejaculation due becoming weak physiologically. Most men and women would prefer to eat diet rich in fat other harmful ingredients, such as sugar and butter, while away their time with friends or work till late night and indulge in unhealthy activities find themselves ageing very fast. People who respect their body and want to lead a healthy sex life until old age must change their lifestyle. Exercise, eat healthy, discipline their sleep pattern and become conscious of themselves, physically and mentally. A marked improvement in sex life can be achieved when life style changes for the good. Urinary tract infection or any infection: This is uncomfortable and infection of any type drains a person out of his energy and pleasant feelings of life. Obesity: Itself a disease, the cause may be over eating due to depression too. Obesity makes the movement of the person very limited, as well as makes them tired due to carrying the load of excess body weight with them. They feel depressed because of their physical looks, even though they may not accept this fact. All these transforms into low sex drive and a feeling of inadequacy in men as well as women. Very few people, with a determined mind, can shed their fat and return to becoming normal again. It is imperative, especially for the young, to shed their excess body fat if they want to enjoy life and live normally ever after. Obesity is also the cause of several

other diseases. I suggest obese people to get to the gym and work out with weights and follow a strict and heavy weight regimen. The ultimate results will be a strong mind with a strong body. With this, there is no looking back with an added blissful sex life. Anemia: Low blood quality as well as low blood production in the body leaves the person panting even after walking a short distance. Several reasons could be the cause of anemia. Generally, anemic people are sick people with low energy and an ability to perform active tasks. They get tired and drained very quickly. This leaves the person with little desire to participate in activity such as sex. Unhealthy relationship: Animosity or disagreement between the partners could be a cause, so is infidelity. Whatever it may be, when either partner is into provoking or creating mistrust in the relationship, the other partner may not be in a mood to have sex or to do anything with the other. Sex between two people is made up of physical as well as mental bonding. Without mental bonding, in humans, sex becomes very animalistic and emotionless; between partners, sex dies down. Lack of privacy: Mostly with children around, partners are unable to have a quiet time together; this gradually distances them, affecting their sex life. Sometimes, people live in joint family, where the presence of elders and others are felt all the time. It makes an uncomfortable atmosphere for any romantic moment. This is why people have better sex when they are on holiday and far from home and people. It makes sense to invest sometimes, in a short holiday or to be away from home for couples with children or elders, living with them. Cancer and other terminal diseases: Terminal diseases not only affect the body, it affects the mind too. Such people know that they are going to last a few more months or years. This leaves them with a desire to clean their slates, put everything in order, and settle their account in this material world. Their mind does not function the way ours do. They think and act differently; their mind being occupied with the thoughts of leaving this world prematurely depresses them, even though they accept this fact. Venereal diseases: Syphilis, gonorrhea and similar venereal diseases are a great deterrent to having sex. Venereal disease is contagious; cohabiting with a person already with the disease, is the cause of getting one. Children born of such parents are generically defective with birth defects and abnormalities. The medication for these conditions too adds to low sex drive. Repulsive sex partner; When either of the partner in sex is repulsive, in looks, habits or for any reason, making love to such a person repeatedly becomes a burden and repulsive. Desire to have sex or even be near that person becomes a liability and undesirable. 4.STEP BY STEP TO A HEALTHY SEX LIFE Everyone around the world seek a healthy sex life, whatever the age. Those unfortunate ones who cannot perform well in the bedrooms are the ones who need to correct their ways. The way they think, eat, live, behave and above all their complete state of mind. As you proceed further, in later chapters you will come across ways to correct yourself in order to achieve a blissful sex life. This chapter will give you preliminary tips on how to live a healthy sex life. If things improve, with you, reading and following this chapter it is well and fine, otherwise you may proceed and learn more about sex and how to enrich and make it explosive with better mind and body.

To improve your sex drive or libido you need to improve the testosterone level in your body, a hormone which helps you kick start your desire for having sex. This increase in the hormone level may be achieved by the following activities: A healthy diet rich in protein, only sufficient carbohydrate and a small amount of fat. Regular meals in small quantity. It is always better to avoid meat protein, being the cause to cholesterol build up in the arteries. You will learn in later chapters about this. Regular exercises, preferably weight training or vigorous program. Healthy sleep pattern Herbal and natural supplements Snacks of nuts and resins Control over stress and anxiety Control over anger and depression Should not worry over petty and small matters. While it is nice to start your activities straight away by following the above advice, it will be equally advisable to avoid the following if you ever want to achieve success in your bedroom activity. These are but temporary distractions and a real health hazards. At least avoid them till such time, your sexual conditions improve. An intermittent indulgence may be OK so long it does not affect your sex life: Alcohol, smoking, and drugs, Soft drinks and colas, Remaining indoors and leading a lazy lifestyle, Food rich in fat, sugar, butter, spices, and refined ingredients, Meat or eggs that is responsible for building up cholesterol in your arteries. With the above combinations of do’s as well as don’ts, you will seek to find what you are looking for in the bedroom. Everyone dreams of being a successful and a good lover with skills in sex acts that will enthrall one’s partner. Skills in sex acts like skills in any other art, needs to be acquired and cultivated. A successful sex between two people who may have spent years together is all about goodwill and respect for each other. If you do not respect each other or have repulsive thoughts about each other and yet want to make love, there is all possibility the effort will not be successful. The man may have an erection problem while the women may have a dry vagina. To cut the matter short, you should know that foreplay is one of the greatest aphrodisiac and with an added amount of true affection for your partner; you could achieve a first class bedroom experience. The following are some of the foreplay ways you may find interesting; MENTAL: Some sex talk, some pornographic videos, magazines, provocative pictures and bedroom fantasies. When the mental stimulation begins, the physical stimulation does not remain far behind. PHYSICAL: Stimulating each other by rubbing the sensitive sexual organs. Engaging in masturbation and arousal of each other by touching the sensitive organs of each other. Oral sex is also a great way to arouse your partner especially when it comes to women’s clitoris. However, it is imperative the couple hygienically clean themselves before such an act. Massaging each other with flavored massage oil will add to the pleasures. Having a bath together or engaging in a sexual act in a bathtub or swimming pool is another way to finding a new way to pleasure.

Sometimes the same bedroom becomes boredom; it is wise therefore, once in a while to get away from home into a resort or any hotel room where the surrounding and the atmosphere is different, quiet and peaceful with 100% privacy. This allows the couple to share a different environment and focus on each other completely. If you can add to this some pornographic movies, it will not only stimulate you both mentally but also give you a lesson on how to foreplay and make love. You can as well practice what you learn and observe from those movies. It is imperative for the couple to be clean and smelling good before engaging in any sexual act. Wear clothes and dress in a manner befitting your age, looks and skin hue. You should look harmonized and presentable; this creates a pleasant personality which is not out of place and liked by all. Have a smile that will attract others. You do not expect your partner to make advances to you when you look like a schoolteacher or someone from the police force. Look at your partner with a seductive look and maintain eye contact. This sends signal to your sex organs, and if you are sexually healthy, it gets into the initial process of stimulation and arousal. Maintain a good posture and profile. This does not let you sag and make you look like a grandma or grandpa. You need to send a signal of sexual virility and not a school examination. Never embarrass your partner by becoming a center of attraction or a joke in public. Undue anger, quarrelling in public or getting into an act, not befitting you may all lead to low sex drive in your partner and an aversion to make love with you. Talk about matters that you both agree and share your views about. Do not get into any argument or pick up subject that may turn controversial or create resentment between you two. When the time is right, express your feelings and your desire to make love with your partner. This can happen only when you both are in agreeing terms and in a congenial mood. Never pick up, rake old issues, or discuss the bad side of one’s parents or any relatives that may turn the situation uncomfortable. You are asking for trouble and not sex. Show signs of intimacy and closeness. If you are on your way home or sitting on a couch watching TV or listening to music or reading, get close and snug into each other, it makes sense to show your affection for each other before even you decide to make love. Have plenty of fun and good time before you decide upon getting into the bedroom act. This stimulates the mind and calms the nerves for another session of fun, indoors. Never make it compulsory to have sex with your partner during romantic moments. It should be in the card but making it a compulsory act, only makes the situation tense and routine or obvious. When you keep the act optional and go for it only when things are hot and amicable, you will not fail in the performance. This requires time in hand, patience, making an effort and an open mind to sex. Certain other skills need to be learnt if you want to improve your sexual act. Some things to remember are as follows: Practice to contract your rectum muscle which is connected to your penis. This helps delay your ejaculation. Another way to delay your ejaculation is by keeping your mind calm and taking the act easy and slow, without too much excitement. Also focusing on matters other than the sex act takes away the mind from the act thereby delaying the ejaculation.

Sometimes the girl on top helps the man remain less exited. The women doing the act and the man only maintaining his erection with some movements However, this position needs a lot of energy and stamina. To get away from the boredom of usual sex positions couples may try different positions to bring excitement in their sex act. One can observe and learn from pornographic movies different positions of lovemaking. During the later stages of pregnancy, lovemaking is possible only when the male take a standing position and avoid contact with the stomach. Anal sex is undesirable and unhygienic in most cases. However, it is a known fact that some people enjoy anal sex and it is a great way to stimulate the otherwise dying sex drive in many people. Sometimes when erection is unsuccessful, one can try putting a pillow under the hip of the woman and in a lubricated vagina, insert the otherwise un-erect penis. With gradual stimulation to the penis in the vagina, going up and down, there could be an erection followed by a successful love making session. Music, ambience, aroma and privacy play an important part in getting sexually aroused. Finally, it is the connection of two minds that plays a very important role in love making and erection and lubricated vagina. Without this mental rapport, sex can never be the way it should be. Commitment, responsibility, caring, focus and intimacy all goes into creating an atmosphere of wellbeing, which is the first essential of good love making in a long lasting relationship, where sexual act could turn boring. Remember, your body is not a machine that will be turned on immediately when you plan to make love. You are a complex being with emotions, responsibilities, as well as commitments every day of your life. It is physically not possible for you to have an erection all the time, especially with the same women with you may have spent several years together. You need to, therefore, give time to yourself to get your mind into the mood of lovemaking and allocate that time slot to experience the pleasurable moments together. Hurrying will only add fuel to fire and it will take you longer to get an erection or no erection at all. This may have nothing to do with sex problem; it is only your mind, which keeps you away from getting an erection. Do not get mislaid if you have unsuccessful erections sometimes. Analyze the reason and you may come up with the correct answer for it. 5.SEX AND MARRIAGE In marriage, sex is taken for granted. This is the cause of a boring sex life in later years of marriage. When time permits, especially during the sleeping hours at night, people make love and then it is over. Year after year of repeating, the same process makes it like any other routine. In marriages too one must put in an effort to bring innovative ideas and spice up ways to make the sex lively and interesting. Some ways that will spice up ways in the bedroom are given below: Certain days, even when you feel like having sex, forgo the act and just leave it for another day. This way the desire keeps accumulating and the day you engage in the play you find it new and interesting. It is finding the best suited day and time to optimize the experience. Even if you know your partner’s anatomy well, it is still desirable to have some foreplay before engaging into the actual sexual act. This brings the excitement and adds energy into the act. Foreplay stimulates the body, same way like a warm up, before a vigorous exercise.

Same ways, same bedroom and the same time turn into a routine. Try to find different times and places in your home where you can spontaneously make love occasionally. If things get extremely boring, try to get away for a day or the weekend to any quiet and exiting place for some fun and sex. Do new things and find new ways to explore sex, away from home. It makes sense to invest in a small trip. Talk about the ways you always wanted to have sex. Good, bad, or dirty, sex is sex and all is fair anyway with your partner for life. Both the partners can experience new ways in the privacy of their bedroom making otherwise a dead play come back to life. The best ways to experiment and experience sex, is by watching sex videos and movies and try to put those acts in your play. First, watching such videos will excite the partners and second, the acts put into action by them will definitely make things more spicy and exiting. Whenever you want to change your positions or find new ways for sex, take your partner in confidence, just to avoid any embarrassment. People sometimes think differently and your partner may be more conservative than you are. Marriage is not all about sex. What we all forget is, sex is a small percentage in the entire 24 hours of married life each day. The rest is work, commitments and other activities as well as sleep. However, in a marriage the first thing that comes to mind is sex and babies. To use the hours other than making love is a trick to give the marriage an honorable position in one’s life. Some ways that we honor our partners are: Compliment her looks and appearance: Remember, women like being complimented for the effort they make in looking presentable and attractive. If you turn your face away or remain indifferent to her efforts in seeking your compliments in an implied way, you are only disappointing her. Day after day when you do this and then want to get into bed with her, you may not make a good lover. The totality of the 24 hours, or 24x7 makes all the difference in the bed. The same way you study for your examination the whole year round and then appear for the exams only to succeed. Sometimes, spontaneously, call her up from your place of work and get together for an evening tea or any other activity. This makes things lively and she will definitely appreciate this because it is the best thing for women to be out after the whole day grind at home or her place of work, if she is a working person. Seduction is another method to rekindle spontaneous sex. It is routine for married couples, when alone and in a mood, to go in for sex. When things happen all of a sudden, it is exiting and energizing too. It leaves you both with a good feeling. You can even send sexy messages over SMS, or make a date or make an appointment to have sex, all over SMS. This method is very exciting and a mood maker. Children remain a hindrance for couples with a newborn baby as well as toddlers. Whatever it may be, children at all ages take away some attention of either parent in a marriage. The marriage gets stale and old while bringing up children. Sex, occasionally, becomes routine and only in the bedroom, that too at the usual hour and usual way. This is when the entire sex problems start. Even though one may wish a better sex life with the partner, it does not turn out so with children around. The best way here is to employ a babysitter, leave the children with your parents and leave them with friend’s parents to play, leave them in a crèche, or leave them with your friends, with an understanding that you would mind their children when they have to go on a date. This way, occasionally, you both will find time to be together and enjoy romantic moments with each

other. For the cause of marriage and for the couple to enjoy some moments together, which is for short time, occasionally, anyone can help anyone, in minding the children for this good cause. As I said, marriage gets stale and boring with time, unless you are alert and able to gauge the excitement still left in your marriage. To check this you need to find out: If sex is no more interesting with your spouse. If you are bored of the same woman, bedroom, atmosphere, positions and talks. If sex between both of you are satisfactory and satisfying. If either or both partners are not satisfied with the sexual relationship or if one of them finds the other repulsive or unattractive, it is time to seek counseling and analysis. Such relationships do not continue for long unless corrected and rectified immediately. If you or your spouse feels, sex is a responsibility, a way to keep up the marriage, it is wrong and again, needs to be corrected. Responsibility, routine, burden, duty and compulsion are not the right words for sex, which should be connected with romance and affection. If romance and affection is missing eventually, as I said, erection will fail and vagina will remain dry in such couples. It is interesting and a necessity for married couples to have sex on regular basis. Maybe, the frequency may not be short, but regularity will keep the marriage alive. Economic condition is not always the cause of failing sex life; otherwise beggars on the streets would not be having children. Most of the time arguments, animosity, quarrel, or fights happen between couples, for reasons they do not realize. They are agitated and irritated because of the failing sex life. At the back of their mind, is the romance they enjoyed years ago and the promises they made to each other. Those days have faded and replaced with routine, boredom and picking on each other. The repercussion of these changes manifests itself into such animosity. Now let us examine why married couples, after years of marriage, find each other boring. The foremost is health, generally, couples with age do not groom themselves as much or let their health deteriorate or get obese with time. If you compare the early days of the marriage, when both were young and attractive, agile, made promises to each other, carefree life and socializing with friends on regular basis, to the later years, when they became old and obese, diseased, wore mismatching clothes, responsibility of the family with school going children, inability to keep those young days promise, as life passed by so quickly, and with no dating or socializing. The analysis shows the great divide. Under such circumstances, you cannot blame either spouse for killing their marriage, perhaps this happens to most marriages. This is why couples should be intimate regularly, preferably on daily basis. This helps intimacy and romance on daily basis too. As I said, sex form a very tiny part of our total life lived; therefore, sex should not be the sole motive behind our romance and intimacy. There is more to relationship than only sex. Sex is an important part of romance but when we make it the primary issue in any marriage, the novelty starts to wear out gradually. Couples who do not discuss sex but keep it limited to the bedroom and to certain specific hours are killing their sex lives. It is imperative; spouses discuss their sex requirements clearly between themselves. Unless you do not discuss what is in your mind, how can your spouse know how to help or contribute in that situation? Mere hints, riddles, or round about talks does not help in sending the message. Straightforward talk helps and the spouse understands the inadequacy in sex life.

Let us be practical and realistic about sex and marriage. Only in some mythological or fairy tales we hear about people having sex ever day of their life from 18 until 80 or 90 years of age. Worries, responsibilities, illnesses, being away from home, disagreement with spouse and such other related reasons will never allow one to have sex every day of one’s life. All healthy people have an urge to have sex, especially men. Having regular erections in men is a sign that all is well with him sexually. As for women if she has an urge for sex under normal situation, means her libido is normal. Most of the time, most of us, married for many years, panic if we lack the desire for sex or have premature ejaculation. Most of the time the situation is not favorable to test ourselves in respect of sexual virility. Unnecessary worrying about the temporary inability to desire sex or having an erection becomes a habit, ultimately leading to actual sex problems in men. 6.SEX FOR YOUNG PEOPLE Young people going to schools and colleges need to concentrate on their studies and career. They need to discipline and educate themselves, during the different primary stages of their lives. Sex should not be taken seriously, nor should any pornographic videos, magazines or discussion should encourage. Once they are into making their career and succeed in finding a professional assignment, they will come across several friends who may be willing to go steady and finally even tie a knot. Young people will do well for their future health by following the advice given below: Find time to do regular exercise, preferably weight training. For girls, yoga and weight training are both suitable. One of the best 10 minute extra exercise is skipping. If you continue this till ripe old age, you will surprise others by your agility and stamina. Always check your physique in the mirror for accumulation of fat or any sign of obesity, take immediate action to correct your physique. It is difficult to get rid of that fat or the paunch once you cross 40. Eat well and healthy. Do not indulge in rich food, junk food or colas and soft drinks with CO2. Instead, replace it with fibrous and healthy food and fruit juices. Smoking, alcohol and other habits kill you slowly. When you cross 40, you will be ashamed to see yourself in the mirror or compare yourself to your friends, who lived and ate healthy. You will then not be able to bring back that youthful looks into you. Wisdom says do it now and keep it that way. Remember youth in us diminishes with time, never return in our lives, while old age remains until death, and never leave us ever again. If you are conscious of this fact, you will do things that will be an investment for your old age, the same way people invest money for their later years. After 40, when you are into a successful job or profession with good health, you will enjoy better life and sex throughout the remaining days of your life. This book is meant for we human beings, who by nature will read all what they can but do what they prefer doing. This world has over 7 billion people and most of them follow their own religious books and worship their gods. In spite of reading the words of gods and following their scriptures, they indulge into activities leading many of them to prison, war and other ways of animosity and unrest. If the words of gods could not tame a man, how do I expect that my advice above will go down with them successfully. I am therefore, adding the following few paragraphs just in case it may help, guide the young people not to go astray. Always remember sex is a temporary pleasure and volatile, once climax is reached, it leaves the partners thinking about other activities, unless there are commitments between them. Young

people, unmarried and without commitments are prone to changing partners frequently. This is dangerous and unhealthy. The more partners you change, the higher the risk of contracting with diseases. There would be occasions only to regret later, but no remedy for it whatsoever. Nature and our elders planned everything for us systematically. First schooling, then professional studies, then career and then marriage and children. Even though this method or thought is conservative and stereotype, it has some truth to it. Earlier, people were happier and contented. They were committed to their families and they lived a peaceful life. In the present time we are seeing changes in this lifestyle pattern, sex begins in the school days. There is no career, no marriage, nor any future for such people. Such people regret their actions all their lives. Those with good parental guiding turn out to be successful and as said, follow the oldfashioned conventional pattern of life. They, ultimately, have the last laugh. Sex in early days of life, turn into a disease. Young people break up fast and get themselves involved with another partner. If one of them is attached emotionally, the break causes a severe emotional disturbance to that one. Instead of studies and career, the person is full time into thinking about getting involved with another partner. This is a waste of time and energy, which, if channelized, could have benefitted the person. Another dark side to having sex without much experience is getting pregnant or disease from your partner. It is therefore, imperative for you to use condom to ward off such unwanted pregnancy or disease. There are other known methods of contraceptives, but those are not advisable for young people. Oral contraceptives have their own side effects which could harm a young unmarried girl later in life. Safe period, douching and other methods of contraceptives are not at all reliable and therefore, should not be indulged into. The curse of changing partners, all over the world, has left people with sexually transmitted diseases which include HIV and AIDS. What other proof do you need to adhere to my suggestions to go conservative or at least not to change partners frequently? Oral sex, anal sex is all open to the diseases finding their way into you. It is therefore, recommended that, you refrain from such sex or you may use condom or any barrier to shield yourself from the diseases getting into you. Always remember, a moment of restrictions could ward off great evils. 7.SPIRITUALITY IN SUCCESSFUL SEX Tell me something, this world has over 7 billion people, do you think all the people in this world, indulging themselves in sex, need to read this book, or do they have sex problems leading them to seek professional help or read this book? No, only some, or many people face sexual problems in their lives. The million dollar question is, why do they have this problem? Remember, life needs to be lived by its rules today and always. When you drive, study in schools, work in an office, play a game, you follow certain rules doing all of these. In the same way when you live life, you need to follow certain rules. When you were young, you were compulsorily made to follow certain rules. Sleeping, studying, eating, outing, playing and all activities were governed and conducted by your parents. During those years, you were healthy, your looks were healthy and your thoughts were healthy too. As you grew up and became independent, there were no parents or any guardian to guide you or tell you what was right from wrong. You decided the course of your life in a pattern suited to your needs and requirements. This way you started breaking and ignoring the rules of life; one by one, until one day you realized something was definitely wrong with you. Hypertension, erectile dysfunction, low

libido, liver damage, cataract in the eye, failing physical strength and poor digestion, you became a victim of one or more malady. All these and more were gifts to you, of your ignoring and breaking those rules. Today you are seeking professional help to cure yourself of all the ills that have befallen you. The first thing that you need to go back or rewind your thoughts, is the words of your parents. John does this and John does not do this. Stop and think all about your thoughts, activities, behavior and deeds. What you did all through your adulthood as an independent person, would those be permitted or sanctioned by your parents? I am sure your answer would be a big NO! If this is true then proceed to read further. A doctor could only cure you temporarily or provide you with medication which may or may not work. A school-going child could be tutored on a subject; without the will to learn, the effort of the tutor, would be a futile waste of time. In the same way, if your thoughts, behavior and deeds were not corrected, you will never succeed in getting back your sexual virility again. No amount of medicine can cure such problem permanently, unless the disease is minor. Remember, you need to take stock of yourself first and ask yourself why you are suffering from this or other diseases. Why do you have this low sex drive? Once you analyze your problem and search out the reasons for any malfunction in your body (and mind) you will succeed in curing yourself of the ills. We are made up of two major ingredients, material as well as spiritual. Spiritual power within us, guides us to hear our inner voice. As we gradually turn to the material side of our life, due to our ambition, passion, greed, desire and expectation, we slowly shut our spiritual side. Once our spiritual side stops governing our lives and guiding us from wrong to right, our material side takes over. You will observe the material side alone, is mostly passionate about most things evil. What harms us attracts us. Whiling away our time with friends, alcohol, smoking, rich food, sex, sedentary life and making money by any means. All these activities ultimately lead us to most diseases including sexual problems. Another side to mankind is anger, anxiety, pride, power and dominance. When these are present or one chases his dreams with these in mind, one invites bad vibes into oneself. You immediately, need to put a stop to any drinking, smoking, drugs or other habits, eat healthy food, preferably vegetarian meals. Stay away from food with cholesterol and fat. Change your way of thinking; pride and anger should be out of your mind. Be compassionate and peaceful. Have mercy for those underprivileged people you see every day of your life. Feed the street animals and birds that you see every day. Stress, anxiety, or depression should be kept away from your life. Make your life purposeful and with a mission instead of being a moneymaking or power hungry monster. Do as much work that may not tell upon your health or family life. Do not bring your work problem home and get agitated with your family. This is weakness. The only way a man can achieve real freedom and happiness is by seeking spiritual strength. To cure yourself of all or most of the diseases, including the sex problem, follow the guidelines given below: Change your life style; be compassionate and helpful to others. Seek spiritual strength from within yourself; self-realization can lead you to an ultimate spiritual ecstasy. Refrain from smoking, drinking, drugs and other habits. Refrain from eating meat and maybe even eggs. Refrain from all high cholesterol foods, such as butter, cookies, cakes and such other junk foods.

Regular six days a week vigorous exercise is necessary to improve your condition. Lift weights; little more than you can lift normally. This will build strength and confidence in you. This may also open up any artery blockage in the sexual organ. However, you can go for any physical exercise in consultation with your doctor only. However, if your blood pressure is normal and heart is strong, then there seem to be no reason, why you cannot do vigorous exercises. Choose an active life style. Some days do not drive down to your place of work. Walk most of the way and then catch a bus or a cab. For small errands and going shopping locally, avoid driving, walk it all the way. If you live in a high rise, walk a few storeys up before taking a lift to your flat. If you think money could buy you happiness, sex, and health, you are wrong; this is not true. Beggars in the streets would not smile or have babies, or poor porters, would not carry heavy luggage all day long. Money can bring comfort, power and many things material in life, but to seek health, fitness and happiness you need to develop that spiritual side in you. Unless and until you try to understand your inner self and your shortcomings, you will never be able to rid yourself of the sexual problem permanently. You need to be a bad man never above 30% of all your thoughts and activities, and the balance 70% should go in for noble and good thoughts and activities. Gradually you will find results in what I have told you. To prove my point, look at those billionaires, all over the world, they were ruthless people, made other people their ladder to climb up, double-crossed others; mislead others in business, only to become philanthropists later in their lives. Self-realization only turned them into charitable, later in life, when their conscience did not allow, all what they did throughout their early days. Never underestimate your mind in curing you of your diseases! 8. MALE SEXUAL DISORDERS LOSS OF SEXUAL DESIRE The cause may be physical or mental. During the young and early40’s, men may experience loss of sexual desire mostly due to responsibilities and other worries. During this period, men are busy making their career and money. Also during this time, they are father to small children. The loss of desire is a mental condition mostly recovering after things in life settles down favorably. When the loss of desire is during later middle age, it may be due to low level of testosterone. In the earlier chapters the reasons for sexual disorders and loss of desire has been discussed in detail. To avoid repetition, the details have not been discussed here. Loss of sexual desire is an unfortunate condition which needs to be analyzed by asking yourself the following questions: In the early days how was the desire and erection/libido? Which medication are you into now or some while ago? How satisfying was your sex in the early days of sex life? When did the loss of desire for sex started to become visible? How often do you have sex with your partner? Do you propose or does your partner propose to have sex? How frequently would you like to have sex? How frequently would your partner would like to have sex? Do you try to have sex by compulsion? Do you have erection and desire for sex when you go on holidays with your partner? What new food, project, or worry entered your life during or before the loss of sexual desire?

What is worrying you most of the time? What do you think could be the cause of your loss of sexual desire? The above questionnaire could bring to the front your actual reason for the loss of sexual desire. 9.ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION Erectile dysfunction or loss of erection and virility is generally the symptom of old age or ageing in middle-aged people due to their unhealthy life style. Millions of people worldwide suffer from this syndrome. About 5% of those people in their 40’s will experience this condition while a quarter of people in their mid-60’s will experience this condition in their lifetime. Erection process is simple. When you stimulate yourself, the signal allows blood to flow into your penis and dilate the arteries, allowing the tissues to engorge with a large amount of blood into it. This is the sign of manhood and virility, unfortunately those who lose or cannot sustain erection feel dejected, ashamed, or even worried about this condition. Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the cause of some abnormality or malfunction in the male’s body or mind. ED is the alarm to these internal problems. Since erection is about healthy arteries filling up with large amount of blood in the penis, with unhealthy lifestyle, hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes, hardening of the arteries, and veins, this condition deteriorates. With these conditions, the blood flow to the penis is restricted leading to poor erection quality or no erection at all. Good news is, this condition is reversible, and with a healthy program, it can be cured. You will learn about this in later chapters. As I said, man is a complex being, hence, to diagnose the problem several tests have to be done to determine the exact cause of this symptom. These tests may be; Blood tests: hormone level, cholesterol profile, Sensory test: measurement of the strength of the nerve impulses. Vascular test: checking for the blood flow to the penis and for any blockage in the penile arteries and veins. Nocturnal penile tumescence and rigidity testing: monitoring the erection during sleep in order to determine if the symptom is physiological or psychological. To maintain a healthy erection there are certain requirements, a normal nervous system that sends impulses to the brain, spinal column and the penis. Second, a healthy arteries and veins that may carry blood supply to the penis. Third, normal, healthy and smooth muscles and fibrous tissues of the penis, with a normal level of nitric oxide in the penis. In the earlier chapters, the causes of sexual problems were discussed in details. However, it is once again discussed specifically for ED: Ageing: As we age we go through life’s several problems which gradually distracts us from activities like sex. Besides, the years of self-abuse in the form of drinking, smoking and other unhealthy lifestyle leads us to diseases which ultimately tell upon our sex life. Finally, with age there is a decline in testosterone level and nitric oxide in the body. All these factors account for a low sex drive in older men. Diabetes: Diabetic neuropathy causes the damage of sensory as well as autonomic nerves. Narrowing of the arteries with poor blood supply to the penis is another diabetic condition for low sex drive in men. Diabetes also weakens the muscles in the body. It causes myopathy in diabetic men leading to loss of muscle in the penile region and the cause of ED. Hypertension: Narrowing of the arteries, leading to high blood pressure is also the cause of ED. It may be that nitric oxide level in the body diminishes with this condition causing ED.

Poor cardiac condition: Narrowing of the arteries in the body leading to poor blood supply and hypertension is one of the basic causes of ED. When coronary arteries narrow down or get blocked heart attack or angina pectoris occurs. When arteries to the brain (cerebral) get narrowed, stroke happens. In the same way when arteries of the penile region get narrowed, it cannot send blood supply to the penis causing ED. Spinal cord injury: Injury to the spinal column or to the nerves may cause ED. This is due to several reasons like surgery, accidents, or radiation. Medication: Sometimes medicines are a great killer. Even if it does not kill you completely, it causes severe side effects leading to ED. So if you are on certain drugs and medicines, seek your doctor’s advice, if it may dampen your sex drive or cause ED. Depression/anxiety or excitement: All are certain to cause ED. It may be temporary, but such conditions causes ED. Along with the condition, if medication is in progress, ED gets worse or it may also cause ejaculation problem. Poor lifestyle, habits like alcohol, smoking, late night, drugs, and all sorts of stress and anxiety are the major cause of ED in men. When you visit the doctor, the first thing, apart from medication, he would advise you are to correct your ways. Please go back to the earlier chapter “Spirituality in successful sex” to get a deeper knowledge in self-abuse and ED. I know people, who go on dates and before even they propose to each other, start thinking about having sex, the man wonders if he will have an erection or if he will ejaculate prematurely. Because the date is ultimately based upon landing in bed, the mind is programmed to think this way. Many people think this way and they land up having a temporary ED. Men make this big mistake before having sex. Breathing is as part of our life as erection; it comes spontaneously. If you are healthy and normal and if you had an erection in the morning, then why should you not have an erection in the evening? What you need is, to focus on the pleasure of your partner and not if you are going to have an erection or premature ejaculation. If intimacy and pleasure is present, erection will follow on its own! Another way to excite yourself is an oral stimulation of the clitoris. Your partner may experience several orgasms, thereby making you feel comfortable in her presence. Your erection may be normal. Sometimes in our life we encounter this experience similar to ED. This does not mean we are suffering from ED, far from it. Sometimes, worry, stress, or not being 100% of oneself causes these temporary phases in one’s life. It passes by the next day and we are normal again. So, for every little sexual inability occasionally, please do not panic or run to your doctor. Try to calm yourself, reason it out, and give yourself sometime to recover. Hopefully, all will be well in the next morning. Treatment for ED will come in later chapter. 10.PREMATURE EJACULATION Premature ejaculation is a common problem, especially with younger men, caused by a weak mind, anxiety or the fright of ejaculating prematurely. Sometimes, premature ejaculation happens with a heightened excitement of touching or getting to having sex with a woman. This is normal, when the person is young and inexperienced. With age, experience and the control of mind, premature ejaculation should not occur. Sex which lasts less than 10 minutes is unhealthy and the man needs to correct himself immediately. There are different types of ejaculation disorders, such as premature ejaculation (immediately or soon after penetration), retarded ejaculation (lack of ejaculation) and retrograde ejaculation

(when the sperm on ejaculation is forced back into bladder instead of spurting out from the penis). There are several reasons for premature ejaculation; it could be physiological, psychological, or medial. Physiological reasons: Painful foreskin, during penetration may cause early ejaculation. Weak or hypersensitive pelvic muscles could be another cause. Some medication or chemical causing blockage of serotonin in the body may also be the cause. Serotonin is a mood-regulating hormone. Psychological reasons: The fright of reaching orgasm and ejaculating before the partner reaches orgasm. Lack of will power here is the cause. Having sex in the same bedroom, same position and for long years with the same partner generally makes the act very monotonous and can cause premature ejaculation. Sometimes, the cause of premature ejaculation could be sex abuse during childhood, aversion to the partner, religious taboo (as if sex is sin), Medical reasons: Diabetes and surgery of prostate or bladder along with the necessary medication is also the cause of this condition. Several medicines may interfere with the control of ejaculation. Anti-depression medicines and drugs could bring about premature ejaculation. The cause for premature ejaculation is complex and several underlying reasons could make up for this cause. I believe the best person to analyze the reason for this syndrome is the person himself. If the person is not having any disease or under medication, immediately on ejaculation he may ask himself the cause, he will get the answer instantly. It is how we talk to our body. We need to be sensitive to our body at all times. Every time our body wants to tell us something, if we keep ignoring the alarm, we are asking for trouble. How much food is OK for me, how much drink is ok for me, how much exercise is OK for me? We should learn to talk to our body. In the same way when we reach orgasm, we need to ask why I ejaculated prematurely, was it over excitement in watching my partner reaching or having orgasm or her body movements and expressions with the pleasure; fright of coming quickly or even getting bored of the same sex for years. Finding sex sinful or feeling guilty of having sex out of wedlock. If you can pinpoint the reason, you will be able to correct it in later sex sessions. These are the most common reasons for premature ejaculation which generally gets over with time and experience. Treatment for premature ejaculation will come in later chapter. 10.PREMATURE EJACULATION Premature ejaculation is a common problem, especially with younger men, caused by a weak mind, anxiety or the fright of ejaculating prematurely. Sometimes, premature ejaculation happens with a heightened excitement of touching or getting to having sex with a woman. This is normal, when the person is young and inexperienced. With age, experience and the control of mind, premature ejaculation should not occur. Sex which lasts less than 10 minutes is unhealthy and the man needs to correct himself immediately. There are different types of ejaculation disorders, such as premature ejaculation (immediately or soon after penetration), retarded ejaculation (lack of ejaculation) and retrograde ejaculation

(when the sperm on ejaculation is forced back into bladder instead of spurting out from the penis). There are several reasons for premature ejaculation; it could be physiological, psychological, or medial. If masturbation will make him impotent or infertile. If size matters, what if his size is not up to her expectation. If he cannot perform in bed as well like his partner’s past lover. The above are all unnecessary worries which keep troubling men with weak mind and body. Unless and until the man gets over his weak mind and body, he may never be able to recover from his sexual or other related problems. Weak mind is also the cause of less testosterone level in the body. Weak mind does not allow one to change his ways, like habits, lifestyle and his way of thinking. The person must therefore, choose between good health, good sexual life and sinful ways with unhealthy lifestyle of living easy and lazy. This change will increase his self-esteem and confidence level in himself. His sex will automatically get better with confidence in himself. To change one’s lifestyle and living healthy, one need to incorporate the following into his daily routine: Exercise every day for about half an hour, eat healthy, preferably vegetarian diet rich in protein, smoking and alcohol in extremely lower side occasionally, avoid stress, settle emotional issues, sleep well, and keep a good posture. If you genuinely follow this simple advise you will see your testosterone level going up with your confidence in yourself, all in about 90 days’ time. It is a myth that with age one cannot perform in bed. It is not the ageing but the ill effect of past living when young. Conversely, with age the person gains considerable experience in having sex and learn ways to delay ejaculation. Always remember mind and the body has a strong bonding. With your mind stressed and depressed, you may have temporary setback with your sex. The funny thing about the mind is, the more you think of your erection and other related sex problems the worst it gets. With a weak mind, this symptom lingers and makes the situation worst. When you ignore the issue, see it as temporary and know that, all is well otherwise, you will see a marked improvement and maybe you will return to becoming normal the next day. Finally, if all else fails and if you still feel you have a weak mind and body, go and get yourself enrolled in a boxing, judo or karate school and enroll into fight contests, see for yourself, how things will change, when you start to get angry and furious with each jab on your face. This is the last resort for you to increase testosterone level in your body. 12.ILLNESSES- CAUSING SEXUAL PROBLEMS There are reasons for men to forgo sex or let their desire die down. Some such reasons are discussed below; PEYRONIE’S DISEASE: In this disease the penis is bent or curved. It may not pose any problem in urinating but it may be painful during sex. The reasons could be genetic disorder, penile injury or deficiency of vit.E. This condition may be common during middle age and may disappear by itself or oral medication may improve the condition. PROSTATITIS: This is an infection or may be an inflammation of the prostate gland; this condition may cause pain during urination and ejaculation. URINARY TRACT INFECTION: The bacteria enter the body through the urethra. The bacteria could cause prostatitis and may even enter the kidneys. All these conditions could cause pain during sex. Oral medication as well as drinking plenty of water may sooth the condition.

YEAST INFECTION: This may cause irritation in the opening of the penis which causes pain during sexual act. DERMATITIS: A skin condition which may cause severe pain itching and irritation near the penis. The causes may be some cosmetics, soap or any chemical to which the person is allergic to. Circumcised men are spared of this condition. Others who have it may experience pain during intercourse. HERPES: Herpes is a very painful condition around the penis and at best, sex may be avoided until it heals. Precaution should be taken not to infect the partner while the condition persists. PSORIASIS: This bacterial infection makes intercourse very painful and aggravates the already sensitive skin to deteriorate further. Sex becomes very painful. PHIMOSIS & PARAPHIMOSIS: When the foreskin of the penis cannot retract over the penis and when the skin cannot be pulled forward over the penis, respectively. In both these conditions there is pain during intercourse. Surgery is the best option. HYPOGONADISM: Due to low testosterone level in the body, there is no or less growth of hair on the face, shrunk testicles, enlarged breasts. In this situation, the person has little or no erection and mostly such conditions may be attributed to genetic defects. STDs: These are a major public health problem all over the world. Untreated or complex cases may lead to cervical cancer, upper genital tract infection, infertility, HIV as well as defects in new born babies. ANAL CANAL CANCER: Anus consists of three different histological types of mucosa, glandular, transitional and squamous. Tumors developed from any of these three types of mucosa are referred to as anal canal cancer. Several sex partners, anal intercourse, anal warts and infection with HIV infected person could all be the cause of this syndrome. To improve the condition of painful sex men must locate the pain during intercourse. Pain in the inside or outside, front or back, at the tip or underneath then penis. Only when you can locate the exact spot of the pain as well as the nature of pain, piercing, dull, sharp, burning, and irritating, can you tell your doctor exactly what and where the problem lies. Check your penis and testicles for any growth, cysts, warts, and lumps. Let your doctor know about this immediately before it turns cancerous or serious. As a matter fact any abnormality in your sexual part or anal opening may be taken seriously and immediately reported to your doctor 13.HOW TO OVERCOME SEXUAL PROBLEMS Before you seek professional help in solving your sex problems, it is advisable for you to try to find an easy remedy to cure yourself. Perhaps this is one reason, why you got hold of this book, to solve your sexual problem without attending any clinic. If your problems are not too serious and at an initial stage or maybe only in the mind, some of the following methods may help to cure you. Sometimes, your partner may over excite you during intercourse, which may cause premature ejaculation. This is normal. To overcome this problem, let your partner have several orgasms before having sex with her. This you can do by rubbing her clitoris or by orally stimulating her clitoris. Also, remember to keep control, being over exited, this way you will not ejaculate quickly. Other ways are to have frequent sex with your partner, as a young person you may be able to do it more frequently, than your older counterpart may. You may even masturbate once before having actual sex. This delays premature ejaculation. There are desensitizing sprays and creams available which may reduce the sensitivity of your penis delaying ejaculation, condom may suffice in some cases. Another method is, not to let the extreme rigidity of your penis reach,

which is the sign of ejaculation. Before the rigidity stage, keep clam and let the penis remain at a normal erection stage. This delays ejaculation. When the desire to have sex diminishes, it is a sign that something is wrong in the body or mind. If you analyze this, you will find worries, stress, depression, partner’s negative looks, behavior, or attitude, children, diseases, hormone disorder, may be the cause of your diminishing sexual desire. You may feel this to be normal, but unfortunately, it is not. Desire for sex in men should always be present no matter the age. In younger men, the frequency may be more than in older men. However, the desire must be there, to know that you are healthy. During the early morning hours when the testosterone level is the highest, there should be an erection and may be the desire too; this is a good and healthy sign in men. If there is an intense desire to have sex, other things like erection and ejaculation will follow. Sometimes, the desire is hidden and overpowered by several factors. The best way is to be with the partner in a quiet place and have an intimate time together. With touch, kiss and some stimulation, the desire may gradually be felt, with this erection, penetration and ejaculation may follow. This one method works most of the time. To enhance the desire, pornographic videos and movies may further add to the desire. Alcohol is best kept away from the scene which has a negative effect, on an already sexually weak person. There is one thing that you need to remember when you are having sex; this is about your erection. First, when you are exited, blood flows into your arteries and the penis is engorged, then there is an erection and before you reach orgasm, there is a rigidity of the penis. This rigidity must be delayed on all account to delay ejaculation and linger the sex for a longer time. If you can simplify your life your sexual problem is most likely to be gone and you will not only enjoy better sex, but better health too. If you incorporate the following few suggestions in your day to day life things will turn out to be better for you: Work, exercise, stretch, and keep clean, this will improve your self-confidence. Worry, stress, tension, and anger will only aggravate your mind, try to be calm and take things easy. Ignore small irritants in life, only then you can have a complete desire for sex and enjoy it as well. Avoid animosity and quarrel with your sex partner. Do not take out the worst in her. This is a sure way to dampen your sex drive. Sit with your partner and watch some sex movies. Touch each other and stimulate each other to heighten your desire. Use your dynamism, imagination and innovation in your style of sex. This will kill the monotony and boredom and make sex interesting. Try to improve your sex appeal by changing your looks and using good sexy perfumes. Make yourself attractive and sexy. Get yourself massaged for that good blood flow and glowing skin. Do not be obese. If you are overweight, shed some weight and try to get back to a normal weight. This will make you feel good and improve the quality of sex in you. Do not smoke, if you do, quit it immediately. It has nothing to offer except diseases. Do not work or keep awake late night. You need rest to perform sexually. Lack of sleep makes you lethargic and may even lose that desire for sex in later years. The best way to turn on is to touch and caress each other, while you talk and spend time together. Eat food that may improve your sex drive. Food rich in zinc and zinc supplements are best. Details are in later chapters.

Cut down on excess carb. Carb gives you energy alright but it also makes you sleepy and dull. Eat food rich in protein but avoid meat and poultry. They are good quality protein, but with overall bad influence on your body. It takes a long time to digest meat and poultry which oxidizes your body and helps age you faster. Saturated fat must be avoided at all costs. It is also the reason for blockage of arteries around the penis, due to which blood does not flow into the penile region and becomes the cause of erectile dysfunction. Another good reason for low sex desire is low level of sex hormones in the body. This should be improved with exercise and activities and food. Keep away from diseases and avoid anti-depressants, these are the major causes for low sex drive. Diabetes hinders your sex drive and is a great sex spoiler. Keep it in check, if you have it. Food, exercise, living happy, contented and having compassion for others, are great sex boosters. These are just opposite to living unhealthy, eating junk food and leading a life filled with anger and animosity without any compassion and love for others are great sex destroyers. 14.MEDICAL ATTENTION TO YOUR SEXUAL PROBLEMS. If you have reached this chapter and still not been able to get over your sexual problems, it means there is something seriously wrong or you may not have tried enough or did not adhere to the suggestions given to you in earlier chapters. If anxiety is killing you about your problem or you want to discuss your problems with a professional, you may go ahead and abreast yourself further by reading the following chapters. However, if you have time and patience, then please go back and read this book from the beginning. Once again you may have come back to this chapter. It is time you understand about the medical treatment of your sexual problems. There are several ways to improve your condition, or get rid of the problem from its roots. You may try each one of the following treatments one by one, to cure you of your problem: Allopathic drugs and medicines, Homoeopathic treatment, Ayurveda and Unani ways of Indian herbs and medicines. Psychotherapy and similar mental treatment. Natural therapy. Each of the above treatment is unique in itself and definitely one of the above should cure you and put your sexual organ back in working order. The treatments are discussed below. Allopathic drugs and medicines: Multivitamins and minerals, Vit.E, Niacin and Zinc, are the most essential for men. Calcium and magnesium is also recommended. Mechanical aids such as vacuum pumps and ring /band around the penis may be recommended. These are uncomfortable, painful and cause numbness to the penis. Micro vascular surgery helps correct the blood flow to the penis. Sometimes, amino acid Methionine in empty stomach works. Histidine capsules of 125/250mg, works too, in high histamine level in young men. Hormone pills, creams, and injections are also available which your doctor may prescribe. High testosterone level increases sex drive, while low diminishes it. However, this could cause prostate enlargement and infertility in men. Testosterone alone may not help erection in severe

cases; it may need to be combined with other medication, such as sildenafil, vardenafil or tadalafil. Sildenafil (Viagra) is another successful drug that improves blood flow to the penis. The side effects are headache, facial flush, blurred vision, dyspepsia, nasal congestion, stomachache, rhinitis, diarrhea and increased sensitivity to light. In men over 65 or those suffering from kidney or liver diseases or those taking protease inhibitors, doctor may prescribe Viagra in low doses of 25 mg. Vardenafil (levitra) was also approved by US, FDA for erectile dysfunction. It was found successful in retaining erection in men of all ages. However, it causes headache, flushing, nasal congestion, dyspepsia, body ache, dizziness, nausea, and increased blood levels of the muscle enzyme, creatine, and kinase. Those with prostate hypertrophy high blood pressure should not take this medication. Tadalafil (Cialis) was found to be effective for up to 36 hours in men in maintaining the erection. Headache, indigestion, back pain, muscle ache, facial flushing and nasal congestion are the side effects of this medication. Since Tadalafil can cause extreme low blood pressure, those suffering from benign prostate and under medication for high blood pressure, need not take this medicine, it may cause further fall in the pressure. Intra-cavernosal injections are directly injected into the corpora cavernosa to attain and maintain errection. Drugs, such as papaverine hydrochloride, phentolamine and prostaglandin E1 can be injected singly or in combination, to attain and maintain erection. Lazacor is another drug which helps increase body’s production of luteinizing hormone (LH) level. LH is produced by the pituitary glands. Flibanserin and Bremelanotide are drugs that may be useful in sex drive improvement. Vasoactive drug injection will definitely give that erection but causes nodule development, pain and bruise. DHEA(dehydroepiandrosterone), an endogenous hormone secreted by adrenal gland. This is a dietary supplement. Suitable for older men. Vacuum device is a mechanical pump, which pull out the air from the vacuum chamber where the penis is placed, allowing the penis to be engorged with blood. A plastic band tightly around the base of the penis does not allow the blood to flow back, thus maintaining the erection. This method is painful and makes the penis numb too. Surgery is another method to keep the erection where a device is implanted to keep the penis erect. To reconstruct the arteries for normal blood flow to the penis there are other methods too, which surgery may use to help with a successful erection in men. Surgery in extreme cases may be the only solution; in time to come it will be the most successful of the entire cure, provided the problem is physiological and not mental or psychological. Some known laboratory tests may evaluate erectile dysfunction, such as: Complete blood counts, Urianalysis, Lipid profile, Blood glucose level, Blood hemoglobin A 1c, Serum creatine, Liver enzyme and liver function tests, Testosterone level and other hormone levels, PSA levels, others tests may be done depending upon the symptoms you may have . Various other tests like X-ray and ultrasound of the penis and testes and spine may be done to evaluate the dysfunction. With time, science and technology will provide safer and better treatments for erectile dysfunction, which is a common symptom in men with sedentary and nocturnal habits. In a few years from now, there would be a cure for all symptomatic sexual problems. With time, lesser

people will suffer from sexual dysfunctions, perhaps only those, who may not have enough means to afford the treatment. It is advisable for the reader, only to take medication with the approval of a practicing doctor, as it may be risky and life threatening, if these medications are taken over and above other medications or the person is already suffering from diseases with which these medications may react. Various side effects and contra indications must be taken into account before the start of these medications. Homoeopathic treatment: Homoeopathy treatment is based upon the symptoms of the patient. Some well-known medicines are Agnus castus, Lycopodium Clavatum, Kali Phosphoricum, Ignatia Amara, Gelsemium, Selenium metallicum, Staphysagria, sarsaparilla, Damiana, Trubullus. Ter, besides there is a number of other medicines which may work wonders in the treatment of erectile dysfunction in men. Agnus Castus is the most reliable remedy in diminished sex desire in males. Mother tincture in water or as directed by the physician will surely show positive effect. Onosmodium is another extremely powerful pathogen which is used in low sex drive in males. Low potency works best or as directed by the physician. Ayurveda and Unani ways of Indian herbs and medicines: Some of the following herbs are safe and useful in improving sexual vigor: INDIAN NAMES BOTANICAL NAMES Amlakei Emblica Officinalis, Arjuna Terminalia Arjuna, Ashwagandha* Withania Somnifera, Brahmi Bacopa Monnieri, Gokshura* Tribulus Terrestris, Shatavari Asperagus Racemosus, Shilajit Ozokerite, Kavach beej/Atma Gupta* Mucana Pruriens, Salab Mishri* Orchis Mascula, Jaiphal Myristica Fragrans, Shveta Mushali Asparagus Adscendeus, Safed musli* Curculigo Orchioides, Akarakara* Spanish pellitory, Kari musli Salmaria Malabarica, Vidarikand Puerari Tuberosa, Taalmakhana Hygrophila Apinosa, Mulethi Glycyrrhiza Glabra Kudzu/Shimiabatraji* Shukla, Makandi/Karpuravali* Cooleus Forskohlii, NOT KNOWN Yohim Those marked with * are well-known vigour improvement herbs. If these herbs are not available readily, which is cheap and affordable, one can try ayurvedic herbal tonics available worldwide through the net. These are expensive but easily available over the counter or by mail. Psychotherapy and similar mental treatment:

Behavioural training in premature ejaculation. Counselling, sex education and communicating with partner can improve sex in a person. Psychotherapy can help by providing mental therapy and improve sex. Behavioural treatment can help by self-stimulation and other methods. Natural therapy: The best natural therapy is to have 5 pods of garlic in empty stomach then drink little milk soon after. Onion too is good while dry fruits, peanuts, and green leafy vegetables may improve blood circulation. Blueberries, bananas, and chocolates may help in improving sexual conditions too. 15.FEMALE SEXUAL DISORDERS LOSS OF LIBIDO IN WOMEN Research shows that more women suffer from sexual disorders than their men counterpart do. In order to understand what actually is sexual disorder, we need first to understand what are the sexual symptoms in women that completes a cycle of having satisfactory sex: First, desire to have sex or the phase of excitement that brings the women in a mood to have sex. Then she is ready for the arousal stage by several physical and mental pleasures by her partner by the way of one or all five senses and by the words of mouth by her partner. The women, when ready to have sex, will secrete fluid from her vagina. This fluid helps in having a pleasurable penetration and sex. The vagina expands while the clitoris, like men’s penis, expands too. Nipple may become hard and erect while, she may breathe faster and heavier. After a satisfying sex, on reaching the climax she will have rhythmic vaginal muscle contractions, which causes a pleasurable sensation; a sign of satisfactory orgasm. The last stage is relaxation of the entire body and mind. Natural feeling of sleepiness is present and it is best to sleep after a satisfying sex in order to rejuvenate the body and the mind. Women, need to pass through all the above stages in progression in order to claim a successful sex and possess a sexually healthy body and mind. The stages could come sooner for someone while it may be delayed for another, but the stages must be present in every healthy body and mind. If, unfortunately, any of the above stages does not occur in her, she may be, in some way, suffering from sexual problem. Sexual problem in women is very distressing, not only for her but for her partner too; it could even lead to a problem in the relationship. It is surprising about 40% of the women, both, married and unmarried and over 80% of married women suffer from mild to severe sexual problems. Lack of sexual desire, is the most prominent problem in women followed by difficulty in arousal and pain during intercourse. As said in earlier chapters, man is a complex being and any sexual problem is therefore, equally complex and difficult to locate or zero in on. Generally, the loss of sex drive or desire in women are mostly mental than physical. Strained relationship, anxiety, loss of privacy, mental agony and depression, are all reasons for the lack of desire in a woman. This only temporary phenomenon may be cured with the passing of time and things getting better with her. However certain percentage of low sex drive remains permanent or almost tenacious, which are caused due to terminal diseases, ageing and exhaustion. Some diseases, illness, and circumstances may interfere with low sex drives in women, which also get cured with the passing of time. This will be discussed in later chapters.

The irony is, sexual dysfunctions in women are seldom reported, and a gradual loss of sexual desire and the onset of sexual problems are regarded as normal, especially if the women are a homemaker and bringing up children. Only amongst educated and affluent classes are treatment undertaken to cure the women of this illness. Sexuality in women, as in men, is all about mental and physical intimacy and togetherness. Harmony between the partners can only bring out the true spirit of love and sex. Anything missing may jeopardize or create strained sexual relationship between the partners. Each woman is different from another, the desire and stimulation may vary widely. By 30s and 40s, it is said, woman reaches her peak sexual responsiveness, by when she is more confident about herself and her body. However, this too is greatly influenced by other causes as explained above. Sex is mostly in the mind unless there is a physical distress. Unless the woman talks to someone and seeks help or counseling, it will be difficult for her to get back to normal sex life. She also needs to understand that, sex life does not end after childbirth or after menopause. A woman needs to know that, she can enjoy sex throughout her life until old age, if she does not go through any disease, traumatic mental experience, strained marital relationship or any injury. A normal woman, active and with a healthy body and mind, will continue to enjoy sex and give pleasure to her partner too, even after she reaches menopause. This is why, it is important for any woman to live a healthy life, with healthy habits and thoughts, which pays in the end. 16. SEXUAL DISORDERS IN FEMALES Sexual disorders in men as well as women are common and for some, especially women, it may have become a way of life, unreported and unacknowledged; unfortunately, therefore, many such disorders go untreated. Mostly, such sex disorders in women are temporary or in a cycle of desire and loss of desire, depending upon the time, mood and relationship with her partner and the conditions prevailing in her household, her health and ultimately, her current mindset. Relationship problem, such as indifferent partner, cheating on her, finance, bringing up children and regular quarrel and arguments prevents the women in having sex with her man or even opening herself about sex related problems to him. Lactating, or a mother to a newborn generally do not like indulging in sex. Emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, guilt or any feelings of disturbance may interfere in her sexual performance. Diseases and illnesses may also be the causes to sexual problems. Most diseases keep the body and the mind in an uncomfortable state. For instance, terminal disease like cancer may never allow a woman to have sex; it distresses the body as well as the mind. Illnesses may show temporary symptoms and is reversible. Vaginal infection such as yeast infection or STD may make sex unpleasant to a woman. Injuries, such as spinal surgery or irrecoverable injury may also be the cause of women’s sexual problem. Medication is another supplementary cause too; major being the disease or the illness due to which the medication is being taken for its cure. Unhealthy life style such as smoking, alcohol or drugs intake may interfere with the sex life of a woman. Sexual abuse or rape in the past may dampen her desire for sex later in life. The experience is traumatic and distressing all her life.

Unfortunately, some people belonging to extreme religious groups, view sex as taboo and indulge in sex only as a duty to her husband and to the family. They derive least pleasure from sex and find it only a way of having a successor in the family. Partner without warmth, emotion, or himself with sexual dysfunction diminishes the desire in a woman to have sex. Mostly they resign to their fate and accept a life without sex. Menopause may add to the dryness of the vagina but not necessarily impair the desire for sex in a woman. Menopause sometimes sends a signal of safe sex and the woman may feel free to have sex without worrying about conception. The sensitivity and pleasure of the clitoris does not diminish with time. However, menopause causes decrease in the level of estrogens which may be the cause of low sex drive in women. Low hormone levels of estrogens, testosterone, and adrenalin could be another cause too. Ageing women generally lose interest in sex due to low level of androgens. Exhaustion is another cause in ageing women. Sometimes, lack of knowledge of the partner or insufficient stimulation and foreplay prevents women from the arousal stage. This sends a signal of sexual problem, which may not be true. Only a little effort by the partner may set things right and the women may once again feel loved and cared, turning her on and rekindle her desire to have sex. Lack of privacy, such as living in a joint family or insufficient rooms to the couple may add to this problem. All the above and many more could be the reasons for sexual disorder in a female. Genetics and family background greatly influences a woman in her desire, to have sex. Family with a history of sexual disorder, lack of intelligence and mental sharpness will have females with lesser desire for sex and with a very little imagination in how to perform in bed. Women from such families are very loyal and very good homemakers. They have a strong urge to have children for the sake of completing their family and sex is limited to this family duty only. Otherwise, sex as pleasure and bedroom game is taboo and a sin. Women use up their energy in bringing up children and pleasing their husbands or partners with their culinary art and other home improving activities. In the process, they do not understand the desire and the urge of their partner to have sex and romance too. This puts a strain in the relationship and it may seem to her partner, his woman is suffering from sexual dysfunction. Conversely, woman from a healthy and intelligent family will want to experience and explore all possibilities of pleasurable sex. They are open and may discuss sex with their partners and exchange views about sex, with their girlfriends for the sake of evaluating their sex life. They explore and experience sex as a way of life and put it into practice. However, such women sometimes may show sign of disloyalty or a desire to have sex elsewhere too. This may happen mostly when the partner is unable to perform in bed as well as she does. Unfortunately, when the partners of such sexually active women perform poorly in bed, they mostly lose interest in sex and show sign of sexual dysfunction in course of time. A woman should remember that nature made her perfect, unless there was a trauma, disease, genetic deficiency or any circumstances leading her to forgo and lose interest in sex. She and only she can find a cure to her sexual problem, unless she prefers to be content, with her way of life by ignoring her partner’s desire for sex and romance. Her partner may find ways to gratify his sexual needs elsewhere, which may put a great deal of strain in the relationship. Women generally are unreasonable here. They may not want sex themselves and put a restriction on their partner in having sex elsewhere

17.ILLNESSES THAT CAUSES LOSS OF LIBIDO. Illnesses are the major causes for the loss of libido in women. Illnesses are always uncomfortable and disturb the person from within. Even though some illness may not be painful or distressing, it may keep the person weak and exhausted, thus never allowing the mind to get into any mood for lovemaking. Illnesses could be physical or mental. Either way, all affect the sex drive in a woman. Mental or psychological problems could be anxiety or depression, stress or any family problem, such as finance or strained relationship, low self-esteem, past experience of sexual abuse or rape, obesity or a very lean flat shapeless body, all adds up to low sex drive or an extreme loss of libido. Physical illnesses include terminal diseases, such as cancer, diabetes, vital organ diseases/failure, while temporary illnesses may include infection or viral fevers. Injury and surgery of certain parts of the body may add to the loss of libido, such as spinal injury. Vaginismus, an involuntary contraction of the vaginal wall, occurs in young women; when untreated, it may carryon until later years. The cause of vaginismus may be more psychological such as extreme pain during intercourse due to rape, fear of penile penetration, anxiety, stress, or traumatic childbirth experience, than physical like vaginal infections such as Yeast infection. Vaginismus causes extreme pain during intercourse, which may bring more fear in a woman than pleasure in having sex. Dyspareunia, a painful condition during sex, is due to the absence or insufficient lubrication in women. This may happen due to any abnormalities in the ovaries or the pelvis. Vaginal dryness makes sex very unromantic, both for men as well as women. This condition, if persists, gradually makes sex more strained and in a “to do or not to do” situation. Similarly, vulvodynia pain may occur due to inflammation of the vaginal region or valvar skin which could also cause dyspareunia in women. Preorgasmic headache may be dull and the feeling may be felt in the neck as well as the jaw. It lasts about f an hour on both sides of the temple. It is extremely distressing and takes away the pleasure of indulging in sex. Orgasmic headache occurs at the time of reaching orgasm. The throbbing may be felt all over the head. Chlamydia trachomatis is the most common cause of bacterial sexually transmitted disease. Renal failure in women too disturbs the sexual functioning and the desire to have sex. Anal cancer in women due to infection with human papillomavirus (HPV), frequency of different sex partners, genital warts, smoking, receptive anal intercourse, and infection with human immunodeficiency virus, all affects her sex life. The five stages of a healthy sexual behavior in a woman; desire, arousal, secreting fluid from vagina, orgasm and relaxation after orgasm, could be disturbed due to various factors in a woman’s life. These factors, as mentioned earlier, could be: Diseases, medications, stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and aversion to her partner, past sexual abuse/rape, low hormone level, nursing, or pregnant woman, and unhealthy lifestyle in general. Unless there is a specific reason for the loss of libido in women, her loss of libido may be more imaginary and more of a put-off situation. Women, similar to men, find love making with the same partner and the same situation boring and stereotype. If she does not find sex interesting, she may never want to get back to the grind of having sex again, leaving it for the next best day when things will be better and more interesting or relaxing, for instance, on a Saturday night or

Sunday, when work load is lesser. However, circumstances may change the situation and those days may turn out to be different than planned, the program for sex again is differed to some other day, this carries on for some time by when the pleasure of having sex in the past erases from the memory. These erstwhile pleasures are replaced with a more practical thought of all the mess and undue physical exertion that sex acts brings in a clean bedroom. Eventually this lack of sexual desire stops the sexual response cycle before the next desire could even start- with the passing of time and with low level of hormone, it leads to almost a permanent shutdown of the libido in women. It is most unfortunate to see how natures’ most affordable and pleasurable gift to men and women are so badly disrespected and ignored, bringing unhappiness and strained relationship between otherwise happy couples. If only those people suffering from sex problems could stop for a while and think why they are suffering from what they are suffering; mostly, they may unlock the problems and get back to their good old selves once again. It is only about finding why and when things started going wrong in the body and mind to influence sexual conditions in performing poorly or not performing at all. 18.MEDICAL ATTENTION TO YOUR SEX PROBLEMS. When everything fails and you may have exhausted all your resources in curing yourself of this pathetic malady, it is time you consult your doctor. You may discover later that your problem was more of the mind than the body. Women, generally have reasons that are more psychological than physiological in diminishing desire for sex. Since fewer women indulge in excessive smoking, alcohol, stressful jobs and lifestyle, their physiological function remain almost normal. Their sensitivity towards their personal life plays a great role in their desire for sex. With failing marriage and stressful home front, they may lose that desire for romance and sex. Meanwhile, remember having a normal to low libido is very normal and common amongst married people. When it is the same partner, home, family and daily drudgery, you cannot expect bursting libido and burning passion all the time as shown in movies and TVs. If you and your partner could only find time together to harmonies and keep renewing your relationship all the time by taking a long walk, listening to music, sharing a bottle of wine, bathing together or reading a romantic novel together; you will find several reasons to be able to have a normal to above normal libido. Women should know, they are not alone in this world of low libido and sexual problems. Sexual problems in women are common, a large percentage of women, say about 45%, are suffering from it across the world. Good news is, many of them are able to get back to their old self again after undergoing certain therapies. So do not get discouraged. There are several ways you can seek medical help. When you approach your doctor for help in this matter, he may ask you certain questions, some of which may be: What is disturbing you sexually? If your interest in sex has changed? If you have arousal problem? Do you experience vaginal dryness? If you still have orgasm? Any pain or discomfort during sex? How the situation distresses you? How long have you been suffering?

Are you still having your menses? If you have been treated for any terminal disease? If you have had any gynecological problems? If you are on certain medication? Your family problems, if any? Besides, he may also ask you to undergo certain tests and medical examinations, such as, pelvic examination, thyroid and other tests, or he may refer you to nay specialist/ sex therapist for help. After satisfying himself of your situation the doctor may try and find a solution to your problem. Different branch of medicine may provide different cures. The cure could be categorized as: Allopathic drugs and medicines, Homoeopathic treatment, Ayurveda and Unani and other herbal ways of medicines, Psychotherapy and similar mental treatment, Natural therapy. Each of the above treatment is unique in itself and definitely one of the above should cure you and put you back sexually active again. The treatments are discussed below. Allopathic drugs and medicines: Foremost a woman can visit her GP and discuss the matter in detail, or visit her Gynecologist who may be better in dealing with her problem. Alternatively, a visit to her psychologist or her councilor may help deal with her mental conditions, responsible for her low sex drive or simply the loss of desire. Like Viagra for men, unfortunately, there is no such medicine for women. My long experience in observing women and their sexual behavior simply find their sex related problems to be more psychological or mental rather than physical or physiological. This is why medical fraternity has not been able to come up with any successful drugs for women. Testosterone in women with androgen deficiency does help, but not much, it definitely comes with several side effects such as hoarseness, facial hair, and enlargement of the clitoris. Male hormone definitely helps women in achieving a healthy sex drive. A combination of esterfied estrogens and of methyltestosterone testosterone with suppresses SHBG does show results in menopausal females. Females whose ovaries may have been removed may also benefit from this treatment. Generally menopausal or ageing women show certain signs, such as depression, low spirit, no motivation, lack of energy, no interest in sex or romance, osteoporosis, weak muscles or painful intercourse. A therapy of male hormone, testosterone may certainly help relieve such women of their problems, bringing them back to an active sexual life once again. Suction vibrator which applied suction to the clitoris to increase desire has been an almost failure. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) does work; it is recommended for short-term use. Women using HRT for over 5 years need to stop it immediately for risks of cancer. HRT may cause cholesterol, colon cancer, Alzheimer disease, heart attack, breast cancer, stroke, blood clots, and osteoporosis in women, in case of long-term use. While Estrogens-progestin combines, replacement therapy is suitable for women, who may have undergone hysterectomy. Women with a history of any cancer, blood clotting, hypertension, liver disease, vaginal bleeding, or any unknown disorder must avoid HRT. Women with vaginal dryness may be helped with lubricating gels, hormone creams, or even HRT for pre and postmenopausal women.

Kegel exercise may help women in increasing the blood flow to her vulvar/vaginal tissues and strengthen her muscles involved in contractions during orgasm. Estrogens cream may be used as a lubricant during intercourse only. Vaginal estrogens tablets are inserted by the help of an applicator which releases hormones inside the vagina. Vaginal estrogens ring is a flexible ring which is placed inside the vagina. It releases low doses of hormones in a woman. DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) a natural precursor of both testosterone and estrogen may be taken orally for increasing the libido. Unfortunately, it does not have any scientific research backing. Niacin(Niacinamide) is a well-known in its ability to increase the blood supply to the sexual organs. Thus, it plays an active role in improving the female sexual arousal. Other vitamins and minerals are Vitamin c ( 250/500mg) once or twice daily. Vitamin E(alpha tocopherol acetate) 400iu once daily, B6 50-100mg a day as well as zinc say 30 mg per day. B.complex 50 to 100mg too is helpful. Several multivitamins containing selenium and other minerals are helpful. As I said, women are more active mentally to their emotional problems; research shows any antidepressant specially the “flibanserin” works in women in getting her libido back temporarily. It is never recommended to stay in any anti-depressant drug for long. Dopamine, acetylcholine and nitric oxide are all helpful in increasing female libido. Homoeopathic treatment: Agnus Castus is the most reliable remedy in diminished sex desire in females. Mother tincture in water or as directed by the physician will surely show positive effect. Onosmodium is another extremely powerful pathogen which is used in libido loss in females. Low potency works best or as directed by the physician. Ignatia and Sepia are two other remedies which may be used after observing the totality of the symptoms. They are best given in 6th potency or as directed by the physician. However, these two medicines works best when based upon the patient’s symptoms, mind and habits. Ayurveda, Unani and other herbal ways of medicines: Certain herbs are sure to help females in curing their loss of libido, herbs such as Shatavari, Ashwagandha, pippali,shilajit, singly or in combination, 5 gram powdered herbs in little milk, three times a day will definitely show results in a short span of time. It is said Black cohosh, ginseng, wild yam, all helps effectively in vaginal dryness. To increase your libido, the use of herbs like Maca, Tongat Ali, Tribulus Terrestris, Catuaba bark extract, Horny Goat weed, Ginseng, Saw Palmetto, Yohimbe, and Damiana are recommended and may be effective. Psychotherapy and similar mental treatment: Acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicines have been used for centuries with results in curing low libido in women as well as male dysfunctions. Yoga is another wonderful therapy in curing male as well as female sexual problems. Meditation also helps in calming the mind and distressing it, energising the body and increasing the hormone level too. Massage helps in stimulating the body in responding to sex too. Natural/personal therapy: A woman during her fertile period may show sign of higher libido naturally. This is natural too in animals during their most fertile period, which we refer as “mating season”.

In the first place, when a woman wants to get back to her normal sexual self, it proves she is active and is aware of her shortcoming sexually. This is the first evidence of her being concerned about herself. It is a good sign and such women can recover from the sexual problem very quickly. Best way to a healthy sex life is to harmonise your relationship by connecting with your partner mentally, resolve all problems with him, communicate your sexual needs, and settle any issue of infidelity and mistrust. A therapy which may include the following may improve the sexual conditions in male as well as in female: Training the mind to relax and eliminate distractions, communicating in a positive way something you may like, learning to touch your partner non-sexually, enhancing sexual stimulation, and trying to eliminate pain during intercourse. Women should learn to be sensitive to the changes in their sexual desire; this will help them to identify the reason for their low sexual libido, eventually. Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water and /or juices to keep your vagina lubricated during sexual excitement. Daily exercise, jogging and yoga sessions are highly recommended. This makes you tired too which allows you to get a good night’s sleep thereby increasing the level of your hormones in the morning. Try and get to the bottom of what is going wrong with you, try to pinpoint the cause of your sexual dysfunction. It could turn out to be only a flimsy reason. When you get over that small problem, you may be back to your sexy self again. The cause, change in the level of desire, lifestyle change, any undergoing treatment, books and TV serials that may be disturbing the mind. All these may bring to open the cause of your low libido. Stress sometimes disturbs the desire for sex, but it is always temporary and with the stress subsiding, the desire for sex gets back to normal again. Some foods may help increase female libido, such as: Almonds,asparagus,bananas,avocado and ginger. 19.SEX AFTER 60 SEXUAL PROBLEM IN AGEING PEOPLE Every living being has to age sooner or later. One can defy age for some time, but the ageing process never stops, which brings about certain changes in human body; here, sexually, it lowers the testosterone/hormone level in the human body. Loss of desire and the inability to perform sexually really hurts a person mentally and morally. They may find several excuses to avoid having sex with their partners. Men may even withdraw themselves from social gatherings in order to hide their sexual shortcomings. There is nothing to get disheartened about, therapists can find cure and eventually the person may be able to have sex regularly. Ageing, in terms of years or deeds, is ageing. It is only a matter of time before the ageing process will catch up with the person. A man who may have kept himself free of diseases and lived a healthy live, may not age as much as another man, younger to him, who may have indulged in easy and unhealthy lifestyle. As we age, our body gets weaker and weakened immunity becomes the cause of our ageing process. For sixty and above years we indulge in so many unhealthy activities, anger, stress, elated heartbeats, poor lifestyle, illnesses and diseases, anxiety and self-abuse. Most of us are unable to compensate these on slaughters to our body with meaningful compensation or antidote

which may stop the ageing process. Ageing process therefore, in living beings becomes inevitable. As we age, most of us can feel the weakening of our sex drive. This may not be only due to our failing physical conditions, but it could as well be due to the social and family problems accumulated in years, troubling the mind. Whatever it may be, it is time one rejuvenates oneself in order to lead almost a normal sex life till ripe old age. Yes this is possible, definitely possible, provided the person has the will to reverse his ageing process. He may need to put in time, money, and effort in order to regain this quality in him. Unfortunately, in most cases people above 60 find themselves with ailments, minor or major. Only those who led a healthy lifestyle may be blessed with a body and mind which could respond to age reversing process. Anyone can take advantage of the following guidelines which is common to old as well as young people, men or women: Sleep well for at least 7-9 hours, every 24 hours. Eat moderately on demand. Vegetarian diet with combination of cereals, pulses, legumes are equally healthy and cholesterol free. Eat many times a day, but in small quantity. Exercise for at least 30 to 45 minutes each day. Cut down or avoid smoking, alcohol, rich food and unhealthy and junk foods and drinks. Drink plenty of water to remain hydrated. Take multivitamin supplements with zinc, selenium and other minerals. Avoid stress and anger. Unfortunately, all these mean nothing to most people. People are used to sedentary habits and would always like to indulge in the game of glamour and excitement in life. Most people feel, adhering to do’s and don’ts makes life very boring and non-exiting. To the contrary, in the end, those who followed a regimen, and kept up with a healthy lifestyle, are able to enjoy life to the fullest even after 60s. The following are the ways people above 60 may find helpful in recovering from a low sex drive, low libido, and sexual dysfunction: For people with depression; psychotherapy with antidepressant may help improve their sexual condition. If tests show low hormone level, hormone replacement therapy may help improve the condition. Diabetics have low energy level, with medication and a healthy diet, this condition may improve, and the person may lead almost a normal sexual life. Arthritics may take medication, which will prevent joint swellings and pain. This will ease their pain, allowing them an undisturbed sex. Viagra are for those who are mentally exited but physically unable. This is a proven medicine and with the doctor’s advice one can take it as regularly as prescribed. However, it is not meant for women. Another similar pill is called Cialis, unlike Viagra, battery life in human body is charged for 36 hours. Anytime during these 36 hours a man can maintain erection. For women, estrogens pill helps get back her libido. Sometimes, testosterone level needs attention too. Sometimes it is best to talk to your GP or a sex specialist, who may find the underlying cause of your problem and prescribe medications which may not be harsh but effective. Just because you do not want to talk to anyone or your doctor about your sexual problem, does not mean you can pop down pills prescribed for another person or a friend of yours. The

conditions may be different and remember the proverb, “One man’s medicine is another man’s poison” It is very important for men over 60; clearly specify the kind of illnesses the person is suffering from as well as the medication he may be taking. Most medication for sexual illnesses may not be compatible with the prescription drugs the person is already having for other illnesses; in other words, it may turn out to be injurious. With the advancement of science, men over 60 may have a normal or near normal sexual life, only if his approach and treatment are correct and systematic. Drugs and surgery are two ways things could be set right permanently. Women above 60 can benefit from hormone replacement therapy as well as psychotherapy. Fortunately, for women, mostly the problems are superficial and mental. Year after of year of bringing up children, routine lifestyle, quarrel with her partner on different issues with depression, emotion and the onset of menopause makes women feel unwanted and unappreciated after years of contribution to her home and family. Older women will do best to consult a psychologist, in serious cases, and try finding a solution to her otherwise healthy heart and physiological system. 20.HOW TO REMAIN SEXY AFTER SIXTY. How you conducted your sexual life in your 30s or 40s goes to make your sexual life at 60s and above. Men who were committed to business and profession and never found time to indulge much in sex, except of course with their partner occasionally, are people, who may lose interest in sex or may not be very active sexually when older. Women too, with their entire life committed to their family and home, may not have been very active sexually. Very few people are sexually happy and satisfied, but they may not want to share this secret with you. Perhaps they do not know the meaning of a satisfactory sex life. For them an occasional sex, with their partner is all they felt were normal. Amongst most people, pleasing each other’s partner is all they have learnt about having sex. Having sex is routine, a compulsion, or one of the commitments in a relationship. It remains unimportant, if one or both the partners enjoyed those moments. As you grow older, it becomes increasingly difficult to find time or make a mood for having sex. Living with older children and grandchildren, living in old age homes, living in shelters provided for older people, are all great deterrents to having a meaningful sex. The greatest joy in older couples comes from doing things or travelling together which makes them happy. When in a relationship people are happy and harmonized, sex comes automatically. One need not find time to set a date or time for having sex. It should come spontaneously, with love and naturally. If both the partners are healthy, live an active life with a healthy lifestyle, have a good understanding, had been having a healthy sexual relationship all along ,there is no reason why it should suddenly stop, when one is 60. Being 60 or so is all in the mind, nothing happens to man or woman psychologically or physiologically, so suddenly as to sexually disable them overnight. At 60, you and your partner may find more time to spend together. After all those rush hours, sending children to school, catching a train to work and cooking and cleaning, suddenly when children are grown up all that time is yours. For men, at 60, unless they are into business or profession, a retired life allows them to do things they always wanted to do. With children off to work or college, they have all the time in hand to spend together. This allows them to renew their

relationship and re-establish their understanding once again. With older children in other cities and towns, parents become very lonely. They may find time to do things which they could not, for years. All these and much more are the bonus and incentive that nature bestows upon older couples. It is how we see it and utilize it. Our perspective, if healthy and positive, will have farreaching consequences in harnessing it for our gains. Like we save money to see us through our old age, in the same way we should save our health to be able to use it when we are older and with richer experience and more time in hand. If you look back, you will realize that with each passing day you became wiser than before. At 60 and above, if your health and energy permits, you would be able to do things much better, than the way you did years ago, in the same way, sex life should be better for you with the passing of time and with richer experience! 21.TRUTH ABOUT AGE AND SEX It is strange how in different cultures people evolve different notions about having sex at different age group. In some countries and cultures children as young as eleven may engage in sex, while in others one has to wait till one is twenty year old. While in some culture, ageing people should stop having sex, which is regarded as taboo for them. The thinking on age and sex is so controversial that it leaves you wondering what to do next. I would say, simply follow your own body signal. If you feel you are still romantic and able, then do not stop, while if you find sex a boring and messy act and for some reason got tired of it, then just stop indulging into one. The choice is yours. If for some reason not having sex troubles your mind, you need to see your doctor. If sex is in your mind and you are unable to perform, definitely, it has nothing to do with your age but your body and mind, which needs correction. Sex in old age is all about past time and not having babies. It is a way to rekindle your love and affection for your partner and a way to keep the relationship going strong until ripe old age, so keep it going as long as you can. It is imperative, if older people would like to enjoy sex, to keep appointments with the doctor for a health checkup. Ageing brings about illness with weakened immunity. With timely treatment, one can avoid pitfall in health. With the passing of time, older people are in better health than they used to be decades ago. With this advantage, they are able to retain good health as well as perform better in bed also. However, with age, one need to curtail on tobacco, alcohol and other health hazards too, while finding time for exercising and maintaining active habits too. It is now socially acceptable for older people to indulge in sex; like the advancement in health care, sex too is not behind in the advancement of science. If you want to feel younger do not use hair dye or age defying cream, go and have sex regularly. This is the best way to release the primary hormones in your body, which will make you feel younger, than you look and feel right now. For younger people, it is a myth to have sex after sixty. For those in their sixties, it is a reality. It is how one conducts one’s life in the younger years, say when they were in their 30s and 40s. Some, in their 40s may physically feel older than many in their 60s. So sex is directly related to the physical and mental health of the person, men as well as women alike.

Those of you, who are in their 60s and still enjoying sex normally, are lucky and feel confident of yourself. Such people feel younger than they are and vow to keep themselves going with active habits and healthy lifestyle. 22.SICK AT SIXTY Unfortunately, the glamour of having sex and keeping fit and feeling sexy at sixty is only for a handful of people. Most of those 60 and above are ill or physically unfit and mentally too preoccupied to indulge in sex any longer. For them sex is a game of the past, they need to think about serious issues in life and not sex which they indulged into decades ago, now suitable for their children only. Men or women, sixty and above are preoccupied with illnesses, diseases, pains, family problems, business problems and other related issues. For men with their dwindling hormone level, they may have had experienced low or no performance in their past sexual encounter. This experience traumatizes them; this bad experience depresses them whenever they want to have sex again; the thought of not being able to perform is disturbing. This thought itself becomes the cause of sexual dysfunction in men. Instead of reporting to the doctor about their sexual inadequacy, people generally prefer to keep quiet and withdraw from sex altogether. They show their frustration by way of becoming angry, upset, emotional, and anxious Simple health issues too bother older men. Their physical looks when off clothes, balding or receding hair, their beer gut/ pot belly and thinning arms and legs, all add to the low self-esteem of the person. In addition, if a person suffers from sexual dysfunction, he may feel completely let down, dejected and morose, if not suicidal. This puts a lot of strain in a relationship. Sometimes even when men are able and willing to have sex, older women , their partners, does not have the urge to indulge in having sex at all. So, between two older people, unless both are willing to enjoy the bedroom bash, there is bound to be a conflict and strained relationship, unless both of them are willing to refrain from this indoor game. 23.MENOPAUSE IN OLDER WOMEN One significant change in a woman’s life is the onset of menopause, which may take years to finally set in. Menopause can take place in a woman’s life any time between 45 to 60 years of age. After the onset of menopause women generally feel older and mentally, sexually less active. This may not be true, but a misconception, which most people carry with them. After menopause, women are free from menses and childbirth, as stated earlier; they may become more active sexually, or enjoy sex without the thought of getting pregnant again. They generally have grown up children which allows them more free time and less responsibilities. They could find time to go on holidays and enjoy sex with their partner as and when they wish. The problem with older women is not menopause but low level of hormones and dry vagina, both major setbacks in having a normal sex. Low hormone level diminishes sexual desire in women while dry vagina is the cause of painful intercourse. Fortunately, both these problems are trifle now with hormone replacement therapy or any of the branches of medicines which may provide cures for the low level of hormone and the availability of lubricants for dry vagina. Older women must be warned against sexual inactivity. No amount of age defying creams, moisturizing lotions or anti-ageing portions will ever help her in maintaining her youthful looks unless she indulges in a regular meaningful sex. If she had been sexually regular and active since her younger days, she need to regularly indulge in the activity as long as she feels fine with

it. This will give her elevated hormone level with glowing skin and lesser body fat. This is one sure natural way to a youthful look and feel. If all fails and you still have that low libido with low self-esteem, see your doctor immediately. He has the cure, definitely! 24.SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN WOMEN AT 60. Women can enjoy sex till a very old age, provided they feel good about it. Those who feel uncomfortable and never enjoyed sex ever, will find even more reason to wrap up this activity from their lives, once and for all. Even at an old age sex remains a very important factor in our lives. For women, even though they may not have completely lost their sex drive, yet they prefer to think that a very precious part of their life is over with menopause and ageing. This is a wrong notion. The ageing and the onset of menopause could have been delayed for a much longer period had she introduced a healthy lifestyle as a daily regime and curtailed certain unhealthy eating and living habits. With age, women suffer from certain definite sexual problems, which cannot be got rid of very easily and naturally. In spite of all healthy lifestyle, problems such as, low hormone level, painful sexual experience and a dry vagina, are all there to stay forever with an ageing woman. However, there are remedies available which could reduce these problems temporarily. At 60 and above women have more serious emotional and stressful mental conditions than physical ones. These mental depressions and years of stressful life makes them very unfortunate and therefore, they turn away from sex, romance and other blissful things in life, except binging(eating), which ultimately makes them obese, bringing in more malady and misery in their later lives. Women, after menopause, must undergo a physical as well as mental therapy to improve their perception of a normal ageing condition which is inherent to all living beings. With the right medication and the right counseling, older women could get along well with their ageing process. The will to be able to enjoy life normally should be present in her, in order to succeed in her endeavor to reverse her ageing process or at least maintain whatever youth is left in her. 25.WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEX DRIVE AT SIXTY. Take for example a car, the older it gets, the wear and tear increases with age; sincere maintenance only enables older cars to run and perform smoothly. In the same way, we human need to maintain our body and rejuvenate it as we grow older. People, 60 and above mostly find themselves with diminished sex drive, unable to get into the mood of having sex. Indulging in sex or not is a different matter, but the ability to indulge into one and getting into the mood of having sex is another; it is a morale booster and makes the person feel good about himself. He feels confident of himself as well as an elated feeling about himself. It is very important for anyone therefore, to maintain one’s health and indulge into healthy activities and lifestyle as one grows older. Remember, each one of us is not growing any younger by the day; we need to take into account this factor before we indulge into activities that may go against our ageing process. Health benefits will always make an impact upon you, physically as well as mentally. If you do not take the trouble to find time and resolve to protect whatever little youth is left within you, you are killing yourself and pushing yourself to the brink of sexual disaster, all at your own cost and responsibility. Maintaining a lifestyle which would keep your body less toxic and more rejuvenated is the formulae to a blissful and a dignified old age. As I said in the earlier chapters, avoiding alcohol,

drugs, smoking and late night activities and living on a well-balanced diet of vegetables, cereals and legumes with multivitamins and minerals supplements with exercise or health activities, would help you reverse your ageing process definitely. As you exercise, live healthy, and stop unhealthy activities, you will find your body responding to these lifestyle changes; this will slowly translate into a better-looking body with a fresher mind and stronger physique. Your body would burn fat, improve bone density, and increase in muscle mass. This will definitely improve the hormone level in your body, improving your sex drive and rekindling your urge to indulging in sexual activities. To gain something you need to lose certain things in life. To get into better health, you need to cut down on stressful events in your life, late night glamour and unhealthy lifestyle. Otherwise, age is only a number game, some people at 40-may look and feel older than others in their 60s. 26.VALUABLE INFORMATION ON SEX HEALTH NATURAL SEX AND HEALTH FOOD FOR ALL With the progress of science and technology and the researches being conducted on sex health, what may be right today may be obsolete tomorrow, bringing in better and efficient remedies for those seeking to correct their sexual health. Certain things do not change much in years, especially those gifted to us by nature, such as air, water and food. We have tampered with the growth and preparation of food and therefore, we write so many articles on this topic. We write about foods which are right and which are wrong. Vegetables, fruits, cereals, legumes and other food are all healthy, provided correctly consumed. Intelligent eating is the way to good sex health as well as general health. The following could guide you to a good and intelligent food and supplement habits: To enjoy a healthy sex life live on a 100% vegetarian diet, with little milk products, like cheese and yoghurt. Vegetarian diet, when taken intelligently, provides you with sufficient protein and nourishes your body better than any other diet. It also gets digested quickly, leaving you fresh and with a clean stomach. Mixing milk/cheese/yoghurt with legumes, lintels, pulses and cereals converts the protein quality considerably. Your body absorbs higher percentage of protein from such combination than just having the cereals, legumes or pulses individually. The combination converts the protein into eight essential amino acids which the body does not produce and which in combination, allows the body to absorb the proteins more efficiently. Diet high in meat leaves your stomach heavy and it takes more time, energy and oxygen to digest a meal with meat. Meat decays in the stomach for a longer time; as well it is the cause for clogging arteries in the penis, responsible for a successful erection. With a moderate quantity of food at frequent intervals, it is also wise to plan a good supplement consisting of some multivitamins and herbal remedies. Some details on food and herbs are given below: HERBS Shilajit (Ozokerite): It increases virility and sexual stamina, maintaining the normal tone of the sexual organs. With Ashwagandha(Withania Somnifera), it becomes potent and a great sexual stimulant. It also works wonder in BPH (Benign prostatic hypertrophy), when combined with other herbs. Pippali(Piper longum): Is the key herb for rejuvenating the body and when taken along with Ashwagandha(Withania Somnifera) it helps the blood flow to the sexual organ, which ultimately is responsible for a successful penile erection.

Ashwagandha(Withania Somnifera): Is well known for increasing sexual energy as well as rejuvenating the body. Generally, this herb when taken along with other herbs helps in broader spectrum in human body. It helps reduce stress, increases strength, calms nerves and stimulates blood flow. It has dynamic rejuvenating properties. It has anabolic properties which help in toning and increasing the muscle mass when supplemented with weight lifting. Ashwagandha is recommended almost in all sexual problems. It could be taken individually or with other herbs such as Shatavari and Gokshura for excellent results. Kapikacchu/ Kavach beej (Mucuna pruriens): It works best with Ashwagandha, is recommended in the treatment of spermatorrhea when taken along with Gokshura. It increases sexual vigour and potency in men. Combined with other herbs it works well in the treatment of BPH (Benign prostatic hypertrophy) Shatavari(Asparagus racemosus): Well known for its rejuvenating effect on female sexual reproductive organs, is also a male remedy for increasing the sperm count. This herb is cooling, helping in calming the nerves and eliminating acidity and inflammation. Bala(Sida cordifolia): Recommended in the exhaustion of body and mind, or chronic fatigue. This herb tones the reproductive organs of males as well as females. It is strength giving and one of the best rejuvenating herb, nourishing and strengthening all the body tissues like plasma, marrow and reproductive tissues. Vidari kandha(Ipomoea digitata): Recommended in BPH(Benign prostatic hypertrophy) when combined with other herbs like kapikacchu. It is cooling and therefore, useful in the treatment of sexual debility, nervous tension. It also tones muscles and promotes spermatogenesis. Terminalia Arjuna(Arjuna): Spermatorrhea is relieved with the decoction of Arjuna bark and white sandal according to Sushruta. Harita also advised its decoction in gonorrhea. Bacopa Monnieri (Brahmi): People also take brahmi to treat backache, hoarseness, mental illness, epilepsy,joint pain, and sexual performance problems in both men and women. Tribulus Terrestris (Gokshura): Tribulus Terrestris has been used since ancient times for different ailments of the male sexual system. It is used in the Ayurvedic medicines. It is used as an ingredient of different products that are made to increase the sexual drive in men. It helps to enhance the energy and boost your vitality to make you feel strong and healthy. It helps increase the libido and sexual drive in men. It is used as a sex booster. Tribulus Terrestris gives energy to the body cells and tissues and it also acts as an aphrodisiac. It increases the sexual power in men. It stimulates the release of male sex hormones which help increase the sexual drive and also provides energy to perform sex efficiently with full vigour. Gokshura is also given for male impotency caused due to low or poor quality sperm count. Orchis Mascula (Salab Mishri): It has been traditionally used to treat sexual dysfunctions encountered in both men and women, such as loss of libido or lack of interest in sex and infertility, premature ejaculation, low sperm counts and erectile dysfunction. Myristica Fragrans(Jaiphal): Jaiphal or nutmeg has been used since age-old times as an aphrodisiac by men. The powers of jaiphal in making men more masculine are only too well known. Jaiphal improve the nature of male erection and also make the brain respond better to sexual stimulus. For this reason, jaiphal had once been the only ingredient prescribed by Ayurvedic doctors to treat problems of erectile dysfunction. Apart from this, nutmeg can help the brain to relax and thus make the man more confident about his sexual performance. However, jaiphal is toxic if taken in excess Asparagus Adscendeus (Shveta Mushali): Asparagus adscendeus, known as Shveta Musali in Sanskrit, is one such aphrodisiac herb, which is widely recommended in Ayurvedic texts for

improving sexual behavior and boosting fertility. The phytochemicals present in the tuberous roots of Asparagus adscendeus help to heal underlying conditions that inhibit secretion of sex hormones that suppress the normal functions of the reproductive system. It is recommended for improving penile erection, preventing premature ejaculation, increasing sperm count and mortality. The aphrodisiac property of Asparagus adscendeus is primarily attributed to the steroidal glycosides present in the root. Curculigo Orchioides (Sya musli): Is a sexual stimulant and aphrodisiac. It helps to increase circulation, boosting the blood flow to the genital area and also improving the sperm count, to ensure better chance of fertilization. Spanish pellitory (Akarakara): Akarakara is referred as a good sexual enhancer. It boosts the sexual performance in man as well as women. The low libido problems are solved by this herb and also effective in treating disorders like premature ejaculation, dysfunction, and impotence. It contains an essential oil and an alkaloid which acts as rejuvenating nerve & cardiac tonic, stimulant, and possesses antibacterial properties due to its alkaloid. It is recommended in premature ejaculation, impotence and chronic bowel disorder. This plant is used as a drug in sexual disorders of males. Salmaria Malabarica(Kari musli): Stem bark and gum are aphrodisiac, tonic in seminal weakness; fruits also effective in weakness of the genital organs. Puerari Tuberosa (Vidarikand): The main benefit of this woody, climbing vine is its power as an aphrodisiac. Abundant in the forests of India, Vidarikand finds its way into many health tonics, correcting a wide range of conditions. Yohimbe: Yohimbe is a natural but very powerful aphrodisiac. The unique thing about Yohimbe when compared to other herbal aphrodisiacs; it not only increases performance and heightens enjoyment; it also has been shown to help increase sexual arousal. This is extremely helpful for those suffering from sexual side effects or from psychological impotence or other physiological problems. With this increased blood flow, there can be an increase in a man's ability to achieve and maintain erection. The enlargement of blood vessels, particularly in the sexual organs, is generally the accepted benefit of taking Yohimbe. When all of these effects of Yohimbe are combined, a man usually finds his overall sexual experience can be more pleasurable and greatly enhanced. Yohimbe has been shown to help improve overall mood, promote relaxation and naturally help diminish anxiety. Muira Puama extract: Grown in the rain forest it is a sworn herb for curing erectile dysfunction as well as libido loss. It is also recommended in other ailments like depression, nervous disorders, digestive and gastrointestinal disorders, cardiac and stress related diseases, trauma and weakened muscles. Aloe Vera: This is one extract for so many diseases from head to toe. Excellent for skin therapy, it is also recommended in sex health when taken fresh from the tree.

Spirulina: Packed with high quality vegetable nutrients, Spirulina has all the goodness for you and is void of all those that may harm your body. This is a wonder sex food to improve male vigour. Avena Sativa: A kind of oats is a mild sexual enhancer. When used in combination with other herbs its effect becomes more potent. Hawthorn berries: Packed with nutrients specially vitC and B. It is good for the heart and blood circulation. Milk thistle: Is a powerful anti-oxidant and improves liver conditions and all liver diseases due to alcohol abuse. It needs to be taken in strongest form for absorption in the body. Ginger: Apart from its use as a spice, it has excellent remedial properties for use in nausea, morning sickness in pregnant women and inflammatory conditions. Black cohosh: Typically an older women’s remedy during the onset of menopause. It helps in reducing the uncomfortable conditions associated with menopause in older women. Ginko biloba extract: It is supposed to have excellent anti-oxidant properties for curing alzheihmer’s disease and a mild sex enhancer. Echinacea: Have this anti-oxidant as your tea or as a pill, it helps build a healthy immunity system. It is a great blood purifier as well as an antibiotic. St. John’s wort: It is used to fight depression, anxiety and other mental conditions. It is supposed to build a strong and healthy mind; healthy mind is what you need for sex health too. Amla: It has the highest quantity of vitC and therefore, a good anti-oxidant too. Dried or fresh amla is cheap and easily available. 27.FOOD/FRUITS/VITAMINS/VEGETABLES: Water: The king amongst all that we consume is water. Water heals and hydrates us. Water when taken in small doses throughout the day in short intervals, keeps us hydrated, energized and eliminates toxic wastes from our body. Small doses of water also put less load on our kidneys, while keeping us hydrated throughout the day. Our body is almost 70% water and 20% water is found in our muscles in the form of glycogen. We must maintain this level all the time, especially during the hot summer seasons. Irrespective of your thirst, water must be taken at intervals, for it to keep your body going efficiently throughout the day. Sometime, water could be mixed with lemon juice, adding little sugar or salt for taste. It makes the drink refreshing, adding some vitamin c in the process. At other times water could be partly substituted with watery fruits like watermelon, citrus fruits and cucumbers. This way you also get some meaningful nutrients. MULTIVITAMINS AND MINERALS: In our daily dietary intake, we consume very little vitamins and minerals, much below the recommended daily allowance; also some vitamins are not produced in our body. This leaves our body working less efficiently with lower ability in absorbing all the nutrients from the food we eat. Superficially this may not be visible; however, intake of vitamin and mineral supplements only shows a marked improvement in our physical and mental health. This is because vitamins by itself are only a catalyst; it helps otherwise in improving the absorption of nutrients from the food and drink we take. This is why it is mandatory for us to take multivitamin and mineral supplements for optimizing the absorption of nutrients from the food and drinks we take regularly. Several multivitamin and mineral capsules and tonics are available off the shelves from the local chemists, which are economically prices. The general health benefits of certain essential vitamins are given below: VITAMIN A:

1. 2.

boosts immunity has anti-cancer effects

3.

prevents/reverses aging of the skin

4.

shortens the duration of diseases

5.

assists in growth and repair of body cells

6.

fights skin disorders

7.

improves vision including night blindness

8.

speeds wound healing

builds resistance to respiratory infections VITAMIN B1: 1. protects against metabolic imbalances caused by alcohol 2. helpful in the treatment of anaemia 9.

3.

improves mental ability

4.

beneficial in treatment of heart disease

5.

useful in neurological disorders

6.

capable of detoxifying lead

helps control diabetes VITAMIN B2: 1. protects exercisers from antioxidant damage and boosts athletic performance 2. protects against anaemia 7.

3.

promotes normal growth and development

protects against cancer VITAMIN B3: 1. maintains normal function of the skin, nerves and digestive system 2. protects against and detoxifies pollutants, alcohol and narcotics 3. relieves migraine headache 4.

4.

lowers cholesterol and protects against cardiovascular disease

5.

may prevent or treat mental disorders

6.

may be of benefit in diabetes

may reduce high blood pressure VITAMIN B5: 1. vital for proper functioning of adrenal glands 2. helps fight infection by building antibodies 7.

3.

lowers cholesterol and protects against cardiovascular disease

4.

prevents and alleviates arthritis

5.

speeds wound healing

6.

retards aging

7.

detoxifies alcohol

helps prevent fatigue VITAMIN B6: 1. boosts immunity 2. helps normal function of the brain 8.

3.

protects against cancer

4.

relieves symptoms of PMS

5.

helps assimilate carbohydrates, proteins and fats

6.

helps reduce stress

7.

protects against metabolic imbalances

8.

protects against nervous disorders caused by oral contraceptives

9.

helps control diabetes

VITAMIN B12: 1. alleviates neuropsychiatric disorders and prevents mental deterioration 2. protects against cancer, especially smoke-induced cancer 3. protects against toxins and allergens 4.

needed to supplement vegetarian/macrobiotic diets

energizes the body BIOTIN: 1. produces healthy hair and prevents greying and balding 2. boosts normal health of sweat glands, nerve tissue, bone marrow, male sex glands and blood cells 5.

3.

boosts athletic performance

4.

may ease muscle pain

5.

alleviates eczema and dermatitis

1. 2.

FOLIC ACID: maintains nervous system, intestinal tract, sex organs, normal patterns of growth prevents birth defects and is beneficial in the treatment of mental retardation

3.

protects against cancer

4.

promotes healthier skin

5.

beneficial in the treatment of atherosclerosis

6.

prevents canker sores

1. 2.

VITAMIN C: Fights cancer boosts immunity against colds and other infections

3.

combats cardiovascular disease

4.

protects against smoking and various pollutants

5.

necessary for proper functioning of the brain and nerves

6.

blocks the conversion of nitrosamines into carcinogens (cancer-causing substances)

7.

lowers cholesterol

8.

helps increase life span

9.

helps prevent diabetes

10.

combats gum disease

11.

encourages iron absorption

1. 2.

VITAMIN D: protects against cancer beneficial in the treatment of psoriasis

3.

offers specific protection against tuberculosis

4.

enhances immunity

5.

properly utilizes calcium necessary for strong bones and teeth

1. 2.

VITAMIN E: protects against neuralgic disorders boosts the immune system

3.

helps prevent cancer

4.

relieves muscular cramps

5.

extends life span

6.

protects against cardiovascular disease

7.

protects against air pollution and other toxic substances

8.

increases sexual and athletic prowess

9.

helps prevent disease of the breast

VITAMIN K: 1. beneficial in the treatment of cancer 2. promotes proper blood clotting helps prevent internal bleeding and haemorrhages 3.

protects against osteoporosis (the loss of calcium is reduced) Minerals are essential for an active sexual life, for male as well as female. Some essential minerals which we need for a healthy body and mind are: Boron, calcium, copper, iodine, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorous, potassium, silicone, sodium and zinc. Zinc being the most important mineral of all, is discussed below. ZINC: Called "the ultimate sex mineral" by Men's Health magazine, zinc influences a man's fertility, potency, sex drive and long-term sexual health. Zinc is essential to sperm

production, and most men can blame decreased semen volume and testosterone levels on low zinc supplies. In fact, each ejaculation can expend up to 5 milligrams of zinc, or almost half of a man's daily allowance. So if you're getting ready to start a family, a little extra zinc could help boost your fertility. Scientists at Wayne State University School of Medicine in Michigan investigated the effects of zinc on testosterone levels in men between 20 and 80 years old. The study revealed that young men who restricted dietary zinc intake for 20 weeks experienced decreases in testosterone, while zinc-deficient elderly men taking zinc supplements for six months experienced increases in testosterone production. The good news is that it's easy to keep your body's zinc stores in check. Zinc is abundant in cereals, nuts, and beans. Zinc supplement is freely available with your chemists. FIBER: Unless you are suffering from Irritable bowel syndrome, fiber is essential for your healthy bowel movement, fat and cholesterol molecules absorption. Fibrous foods are cereals, legumes, pulses, grains, nuts and vegetables. The opposite of fibrous food are refined food, such as flour and fat. Refined foods are the cause of several diseases and promote low sex drive; it has property to promote poor health. Each day a person needs to consume about 40 grams of fiber in the food. If we eat right we consume this amount of fiber, without us knowing or keeping a tab on our diet. Sometimes, when fibrous food is missing from our diet we should supplement it with psyllium husk soaked in water. This way we take in fiber for our gut to work efficiently. CARBOHYDRATES: The bad carbs is the simple carbs which comes from sugar, cakes, pastries, soft drinks and white flour. This is bad carbs and therefore, inferior fuel for our body. In time it will add to the already deteriorating physical condition a person may already be in. Such carbs only fill you up without providing you with any nutrients. Complex or the healthy carbs is derived from natural source, such as wheat bread, brown rice, nuts, wheat, rice, yam, potato, vegetables, cereals, legumes, pulses, grains and fruits. Unless a person is suffering from type II diabetes, it is necessary for him to get his carbs from these natural sources. All these high quality carbs provide nutrients to your body to function efficiently. We need to understand this to be able to identify the food before we take a bite of it. Since healthy body is attributed to healthy sex life, it is imperative we encourage the consumption of healthy complex carbs in our diet. If you are already suffering from some sexual problem, eating of food containing bad carbs will definitely add to your malady. PROTEIN: Again there is bad protein as well as healthy protein. Meat of any kind is extremely rich in protein, but for our purpose here, it is a total no no. If you are reading this book for yourself or for anyone else, naturally you are seeking a cure to some sexual problem. If that is so, meat is a bad protein for those already suffering from sexual problem. Especially the red meat variety, rich in cholesterol, in time it clogs the arteries responsible for engorging the penis with blood flow, leading to sexual dysfunction. Besides, meat protein is difficult to digest, it decays in the stomach, could give you additional diseases and generally not a clean protein anyway. People eat meat because of habit and for its taste. It is a myth that meat only gives you protein and strength. If that was so, elephants, bisons, cows, horses, rhinos and hippos would not have been so big and strong. Vegetable protein from cereals, pulses, grains, legumes, nuts, vegetables, potatoes when taken in combination with or without little milk or milk products, gives you equally good quality protein, sufficient to give you strength and stamina. Eat protein intelligently. Do not have too

much protein in one meal; you cannot digest more than 20 grams of protein at a time. So try and have some protein in every meal. This way each meal would be rich in protein at the same time it will get absorbed in your body quickly and efficiently. FAT: There is no end to defining and elaborating on its different kinds. Suffice to say, fat from meat or any animal fat from meat and dairy are dangerous and deadly. We do need fat in our body, but instead we need to worry how to eliminate excess fat from our food rather than how to get some more fat in our food. Fat is ever present most of the time, whenever you eat a spoonful. Whenever you eat protein and carb, there is some fat present. When you cook, you use fat as a medium. You need to keep that fat at a minimum, while also checking for its source. Best fat comes from sunflower, soya and olive oils. Thumb rule is, those fats and lipids which freezes in the fridge are bad for us while those which remain liquid are good for us. Vegetable fat is better than animal fat. Fat from nuts and fruits like avocado are good for us too. FOODS: Some foods help you boost your sexual power, this is not because, it has some magical power, but only because it contains natural nutrients which help improve your physiological and mental functions. So when your mind and body function smoothly, it is natural your sex health will be benefitted. Some foods/vegetables universally known to have sex health properties are given below: Almonds and other nuts/ dry fruits: Also helps reduce bad cholesterol called LDL(low density lipoprotein) which clogs the arteries to the penis, restricting the blood flow and the cause for sexual dysfunction. Almonds contain certain nutrients and vitamins such as, magnesium, vit.E, potassium, protein, phosphorus and zinc. Similarly, other dried fruits and nuts, such as peanuts and walnuts are equally good source of nutrients and help improve sexual health. Vegetables: Some vegetables have healthy fat while many are a good source of vegetable protein, such as soy, Bengal grams, legumes, beans, lintels. These also contain dietary fiber, vitamins and minerals. One must eat leafy vegetables too, such as spinach, celery parsley, and lettuce to get all round nutrients, vitamins and minerals. Vegetables like beets and pumpkin are packed with nutrients. A combination of several vegetables throughout the year will only provide a balanced diet. Green tea has maximum anti-oxidant properties and needs a mention here. Its anti-ageing properties will definitely help in improving the general health. Fruits: Fruits such as bananas give you an added sexual energy, it is also a good source of dietary fiber, vitamins, minerals, nutrients and potassium and manganese. Again, fruits must be taken in moderation but regularly. In moderation, as it contains fructose which may cause diabetes in a person of sedentary habits. Regularly, because not all fruits contains all the vitamins, minerals and nutrients, so a combination or alternating may provide all the necessary nutrients in human body. Pomegranates and blueberries are proven fruits having excellent antioxidant properties. Legumes/beans/lintels/ grains/pulses and cereals: Many from these have a high source of protein and taken in combination, will provide a complete protein intake. Besides, these are all good and healthy source of nutrients and vitamins and minerals. One can supplement it with vegetables, fruits, nut or little milk to boost its valuable properties. When taken in combination regularly, throughout the year, these foods provide you with uninterrupted nutrients for a healthy sex life and without worrying about cholesterol, diabetes and other maladies in life. For instance oatmeal with little milk enhances its nutritional properties. Sunflower seeds and flaxseeds are packed with nutrients.

Dairy products: Dairy products are actually not recommended in large quantities. Small amount of milk and cheese are sufficient to turn your cereal, fruits or bran into a powerful meal. So you need to avoid excess milk products in your diet. Leave that extra milk for the calves; they may have been deprived of that glass of milk on your table. Yoghurt is the best form of milk. It is an excellent anti-oxidant and improves your gut health too. Soy: Once upon a time soy was regarded as a source of high vegetable protein. It is the same today but with genetic engineering to maximize production, it is a good source of cancer too. So soy products should be used with caution in your diet. As a matter of fact all those naturally grown and unprocessed foods are all health giving and full of different nutrients, each one supplementing the other. However, caution must be exercised to ensure that some foods and vegetables which may cause allergy to the person, needs to be avoided from their diet. For an example, gluten in wheat may cause allergy to some people. Pungent foods such as garlic, onion, ginger and asparagus are all rich in nutrients which may boost sex health in a person. They also create immunity in the body, when taken regularly. There are lots of fruits, vegetables and other naturally grown foods that we do not even know. Different people in different parts of the world will be able to show you the magical properties of such herbs, fruits and vegetables, which they eat to survive and use some to heal them from illnesses. You will find it amazing how many different types of plants are found on this earth and in the water which have excellent healing and sex giving properties. We are ignorant and deprived of those at the moment. Maybe, science will develop further and gather such plants and create a centralized bank to ship it to different parts of the world for the benefit of humankind. It is disturbing to see humankind spending billions of dollars worldwide trying to explore the sky, whereas we are yet to explore and utilize the natural resources for our benefit. There should be an international consortium which should invite people from all villages and remote areas, across the world, asking them to provide details on different plants and vegetation proven to help improve the health and deter diseases in humankind. Meat, poultry, honey and other sources from living creatures have not been discussed here, as these foods, however much touted as health booster, ultimately leaves some adverse conditions in the human body. Cholesterol, bird-flu, swine-flu, mad-cow disease, foot and mouth disease, pollen allergy, diseases of the vital organs are all caused due to living on diet rich in meat, poultry and derivate from other living creatures. A combination of several herbs will definitely help in improving sexual health and increase sex drive in men as well as in women. A combination of sex stimulating herbs, vitamins, minerals and extracts will surely show remarkable improvement in male and female sexual drives. Coupled with this, if the person takes a combination of health giving cereals, legumes, pulses, grains, nuts and other ingredients, the general health as well as the sexual health of the person will improve. It is all about upgrading from bad eating and living habits to a better and healthy one. Naturally, there will be an improvement in the sexual health when there will be an overall improvement in the general health condition. 28.QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS IN SEX RELATED PROBLEMS Q: How important is it for women to maintain their testosterone level? A: Women too produce and maintain certain level of testosterone in their body. Unlike men, they produce a smaller amount of this hormone. Testosterone maintains the bone and muscle mass in women, with an increase in their libido. They also feel elated and better after the replacement. Health and sexuality is bound to improve with the replacement therapy. However, there are side

effects to this replacement; hoarseness, body hair growth and acne. Technology is yet to find a suitable way to maintain the testosterone level in women. Immediately after the injection the level goes up too much and decline gradually. Excessive use of this hormone is not suggested. Q: How do I avoid sexual problems? A: If you were born a healthy child and your parents never had any history of sexual diseases and problems, it is likely you will always have a healthy sex life. However, as we grow we change our lifestyle and habits, leading to sexual problems also. Some advice on how to avoid sexual problems is given below: Stay away from excessive drinking and smoking or any similar habits. Eat healthy; avoid rich food and late night activities. Maintain good habits most of the time. Avoid unhealthy lifestyle. Exercise daily and remain active always. If you are on medication, adhere to your doctor’s advice as well as have your medicine on time. When depressed, seek help. If you have sex related issues with your partner, discuss the matter instead of brooding. Stress, worry, fright, anxiety, anger, revenge and similar mental phenomenon are bound to create a temporary aversion or inability to sex. Do not worry this is natural, you will get over it. Always keep calm and never get too excited while having sex. It is all very impressive movie style, but in real life you need to keep your mind focused to avoid premature ejaculation due to overexcitement. Q: Why cannot some women climax during intercourse? A: With age, circumstances and prevailing physical and mental conditions, some women lose their sex drive sometimes. On set of menopause, pregnancy, illness or family feud, all goes to disturb the sex drive in a woman; being the cause for not reaching climax during intercourse. Hypoactive sexual desire disorder may be overcome by talking to your partner or the doctor. Changes in habits, living conditions and better environment may improve the condition. If you want to get into better sex health than you are already in, get help. Professional advice, medication with a healthy physical and mental condition may see you through the bad patch; you could experience orgasm once again! Q: There are several advertisements in the net claiming magical cure for sex problems. Do they work? A: Yes they work. You pay a fortune for the herbs and extracts which are sold in its country of origin for a fraction. The “Designer” herbs and extracts are all impressively packed and labeled with “supplement facts” and indication of use. If you read this guide book, you are sure to find several such herbs and extracts which are readily available in powder and extract forms over the net. They work equally well without burning a hole in your pocket or if you are a woman, in your purse. Buying such designer packs are a colossal waste of money. The seller of these designer herbs and extracts only laughs all the way to his bank counting the cash you parted to him. Q: How does exercise help increase sex drive? A: When you exercise you use your mind to get into those strenuous activities. You naturally strengthen your mind. With the strenuous activities you strengthen your body. After the exercise your body releases endorphin, a hormone, precursor to a better feel and heightened mood. When your body and mind are both strengthened, naturally and logically you are in a better shape and in a better position to enjoy better sex.

Q: Is there any alternative to testosterone hormone to increase sex drive? A: Yes definitely, please read chapter “Natural sex and health foods/herbs for all”. You will find several such herbs and extracts which will definitely improve your sex drive. They are cheaper and safer, without any side effect. Q: Is there any medicine which may reduce sex drive in a male? A: 5-HTP may reduce sex drive in males, because it converts into serotonin. Serotonin is a depressant. Depressant anyway causes low sex drive. Please consult a doctor before the use of this medication. Q: Is menopause one of the causes of low libido in women? Is there a way to improve the sexual health of such women? A: On set of menopause is depressing, coupled with an uneasy mental as well as physical conditions. During this time women goes through a bad patch in life. Sex may not be the first thing in mind, partner’s support and assurance is mandatory. However, there are several herbs which may help women to pass through this phase and get into a better physical as well as mental health in enjoying sex. If you read the chapter “Medical attention to your sex problem”, you will definitely find a cure. Q: What will boost sex drive in males and females? A: Exercise, herbs, healthy foods, vitamin and mineral supplements coupled with a healthy life style are all necessary to super-charge your sex organs. This is the best, natural and safest way to enhance your sex drive, male as well as female. Q: Does medication lower sex drive? A: Logically yes, of course. If you are on medication, it means you are ill or diseased. If you are diseased or ailing, naturally you will obviously have a low sex drive. Next the medication which you may be taking could interfere with your sex health. Medicines such as Beta blockers are definite to lower your libido. Seek your doctor’s opinion, if the medicines he prescribes for you will interfere anyway with your sex life. Q: Is insulin the cause of low sex libido in men and women? A: Insulin is a hormone and can never be the cause of low sex libido. Diabetes gradually lowers sex drive in male as well as female over time. Q: I had to get my uterus, tubes and ovaries removed. Now I have no sex drive. Can some remedy improve my condition? A: Consult a physician who may be able to select the right medication with the right dosage to get you back for those romantic moments. I feel hormone replacement therapy, herbs and extracts as well as a healthy diet of nuts, cereals, fruits and vegetables will bring you back to somewhat enjoy sex again. Unfortunately, there is no definite permanent cure here. Q: After child birth I have lost interest in sex. What could be the reason? A: Many, if you want to know. First, after child birth and while you are breast feeding, your sex drive will dip all-time low. Second, with the baby around, it is a whole time work caring for the new born, naturally there is no time for sex or romance now. But this is temporary and you will get over this soon. Keep having multivitamins, mineral and herbs to restore and tone your mind and body. Q: I am unable to conceive, what could be the reasons? A: There are many reasons for not being able to conceive, some are listed below: Ovulation problem/ infertility.

There could be a defect in your fallopian tube or it could be diseased. Infertile sperm or azoospermia, oligospermia. Certain diseases could also be the cause, such as pelvic inflammation. Premature menopause or ageing. Infertile or unhealthy ovum. Q: We are married for many years now, sex has become routine. We do not discuss any sex related problems anymore. How to tackle this situation? A: Problem gets bigger, when it is not discussed. The best way to discuss such problems is not in the bedroom during relaxation and intimacy time but away from it. Fix a time for this and focus on the subject honestly and be clear of what you want. Do not accuse your partner, things will get worse and it could also lead to a strained relationship. Best is to discuss with a view to solving the problem for both of you. The intention should be good and noble while the problem should be genuine and you are willing to do something about it as well as provide support in need. Once you start the conversation you break the ice. You can then onwards take up the issue normally and at any time of the day. You could even suggest an appointment with the physician for correcting any sexual issues. Q: Any suggestion on healthy sex for ageing people? A: The slowing down of the body and mind are all due to lack of proper physical as well as mental activities and not so much due to ageing. As young people, we keep our mind active and our body busy. With age and retirement, we tend to go little slow, till such time we get slower. This is the beginning of all problems sexual and otherwise. As we age it is compulsory for us to de-stress ourselves by engaging in activities such as yoga, exercise, cycling, gardening, breathing and Zen exercises. We should also exercise and busy our mind with cross-word puzzles read serious articles and always tease our brain in whichever way we can. Eat light and moderately, easy to digest foods. This way we will lead an active and healthy life, keeping at bay hypertension, vital organ diseases, weakening of the muscles, Alzheimer and Parkinson’s diseases. Talk to some professional people on ways to meditate, exercise and taking vitamins and supplements. You must eat food rich in anti-oxidants and those which will de-toxify your body and mind. Q: I do not enjoy sex with my partner, libido is lost, how to regain it? A: See under “Loss of libido”. You need to improve your mental as well as physical conditions. Medication is helpful always but unless you strengthen and make your body and mind healthy, medication may work to some extent but you may not see complete cure. Remember, complete cure in any disease is always from a strong mind which makes a strong body. Q: Once we start making love, we enjoy it. Unfortunately, I never want to get into the starting point. A: Yes, when you do not want to get to that starting point, you need to recall the pleasure you get with having sex. Partition your mind. Keep the stress and problems in one compartment and keep your relaxation and romance with your partner in another. You need to remember, there cannot be any “Good time” ever in a common man’s life. We need to create our good time in between all the stress and troubles that life offers us. Q: When I was younger and newly married we had sex regularly. Now at 40 I feel nothing for sex.

A: See the answer immediately above. You will get back your libido with some exercise and mental focus. Try some meditation on the net, it will help. All of us are carrying our bundle of problems, especially with kids and parents around. Get away for a while and see how things will be different. Q: I just hate the idea of having sex. I feel my husband does not love me but is only using me as a sex machine. A: You did not think this way when you were newly married. Problem is not with your husband, it is with you. Your husband is normal and virile; you have lost your libido due to several causes. This is a common problem with most women. Disappearing sex drive in women is common in 50% of married women, which, fortunately, has a quick cure too. Luckily, the disease is in the mind and not the body. When mind is sick and averse to having sex, the vagina remains dry, body becomes ticklish to touch and uncomfortable and sometime only, it may be due to hormonal change and low estrogen level. Try some estrogen cream and some lubricant. If you like some red wine, have some; make your mood for the evening. You will see your problems disappear for sometime and you feel younger, energetic and sexually aroused. As mentioned earlier in the book, unless you have some deep seated problem relating to sex, you will not be very strongly averse to it. Unfortunately, when the body and mind are not synchronized for sex; your vagina may be lubricated but your mind may not accept the idea of having sex. This is due to the lack of knowing when the woman is turned on. The best way to get back your libido or sex drive is to experiment with romance; get away from the daily grind and add something new. Try new body spray, new hair style, new ways of dressing, overhauling yourself will add to your sex drive. Maybe, you can wear some sexy lingerie and nighties. Ask your partner to use some hormonal perfume spary and use some sex toys too. See your partner as your sex hero instead of himself, that may turn you on for better. Watching some porn video clips on the net may also be healthy when all is fair in love and war. Most sex drives are lost due to issues with partners. After years of relationship you may see your partner as a big signboard of issues. With years of issues collecting with time, the libido got lost in that proportion too. From that sign board, take one issue and solve it, take another issue and solve it. This way, gradually, you will get back your libido in exactly the same way you lost it; slowly, slowly. Please do not overload yourself permanently; overloading with housework, children, parents or in-laws, profession, sometimes, maybe economic conditions, all add up to this miserable condition. It gets worse when you are taken for granted and no one has the time to appreciate your contribution towards the family. Most of the time, family people and even your partner remain so busy with their work that appreciation does not occur to them; the same way your partner may be slogging 10 hours a day and return home never to find appreciation either in his place of work or home. These are but trifles and should be taken with a grain of salt. Petty issues are the cause of our troubles in life. Please do not let it influence your mind or body. Petty issues have created major problems in people’s lives. Ask your husband to take off, when children are off to school. Have lunch together and bring back that lost romance. It will definitely work, provided you have an open mind. Also to be more attractive and presentable, make a personality changeover. Men always like a change in his woman; men are made this way. Drab, untidy, perspiring wife wearing crushed clothes smelling of curry from the kitchen does not go down well with men . Same woman; tidy, clean, cosmetically updated and romantic with full focus on your man, makes a lot of difference.

Q:While I was focused on the TV, my partner slowly tried to put his finger inside my vagina. It hurt bad. A: Only when you are ready for sex will you find secretion from your vagina. Your partner is ignorant of this fact; besides, ethics demand, both partners should be willing and agreeable to sexual experiments; one without the other is not romance or sex, it is simply animalistic. Q:Is having sex, while I am a virgin, very painful? A: With experience, this could be divided into many different situations. This entirely depends upon the girl and her experience in life. Girls who are willing to have sex and would go for it at the first go will never find the penetration painful; the mind is ready and willing. Girls who are being coaxed into having sex; half willing girls find sex painful and sometimes neither interesting nor pleasurable. Girls who had sexual trauma when young, find their vagina turn stiff and contracted during penetration. It is extremely painful for them to have sex. Such girls need to be first comforted, taken into confidence form them to accept the idea of having sex. Q: Is having sex very pleasureable and exiting? A: Yes, of course. It is free too! All is well only when both partners are willing and consented to having sex together. Girls, who are willing and would like to experience love making will find it pleasurable and heavenly too. Precautions need to be kept in mind for unwanted pregnancy though. Q:When can I have sex? A: The moment you are 18 and above you may have sex. However, the down side of having sex is more than its upside. For instance, sex is very volatile; you lose the immediate pleasure the moment it is over. If you love your partner and would like to continue to talk and interact with him you will find sex even more pleasurable. However, if after sex is over, you find your partner not so appealing or have nothing to discuss with your him or her, it is unhealthy and counterproductive. Unwanted pregnancy is another menace. Bringing a child into this world who will not be loved by both parents is sad and unfortunate. It is easy and fun to have sex; it is difficult to cope with its after effect many a time. Q:Healthy and positive sex starts with first knowing your partner, having love for him or her, there is assurance, confidence, security and above all, love in the heart of both the partners before sex could be thought of. With such intimacy and a romatic moment of touching each other, the partners secrete lubricants from the vagina and the penis. This is a sign both partners are ready to have sex. Q: My boyfriend wants to have sex. He says it will give both of us pleasure. Should I accept his suggestion? A: First, if he is not pressurising you in anyway, you can always defer this plan till such time you both know each other. Since having sex is a very personal matter, it is imperative, both partners learns the pros and cons of having sex at any cost. Boys are always in a hurry to have sex. This is neither right nor should be encouraged. Please of sex is there to stay and it could be enjoyed better once the confidence level is built up and both the partners enjoys each other’s company and have confidence in each other. Never give in to sex, just because the boyfriend will be angry and break off. It is better if your partner breaks off now than breaking off after having sex. This idea of having sex someone and then getting intimate with another again is very distressing for any girl. Q: What is orgasm, how do I get one?

A: The contraction of your vagina when you reach climax with the hardening of your breasts and the nipples, breath and pulse getting faster with a feeling you never felt before. If you are healthy and fit, you will get this orgasm even at your old age. We lose this orgasm with stress, distress, life’s many problems and malady. Orgasm is the temporary full stop to your love making. You reach the height of your pleasure just before the sexual act comes to an end. It is common to both men as well as women. Q: Should boys and men masturbate? A: Good question, I recommend every boy and man to masturbate; bringing down the incidence of rape,molestation and undue embarrassment to unwilling women. Masturbation is a must if you are having sex on regular basis. There are several factors that recommends masturbation. When your semen multiplies, it needs to overflow; masturbation allows it to empty it. When you are hot and want sex, you may go to any extent and anyone to gratify your biological needs. Rape of an unwilling woman or visiting a prostitute cannot be ruled out. Best practice is to masturbate. This act does not make the person weak, in fact it is a simulated sexual act, without any partner. This is logical and does not need any further explanation. If partners are not ready to have sex, they may masturbate each other or have oral sex. Sex releases endorphin, a hormone that makes a person’s good mood. Q: Headache during ejaculation. A: This happens with great excitement during the first few experience of having sex. This may go away with time. If not, visit your physician for further examination and treatment. Q:I had sex with my partner; ejaculating in a few minutes. What is wrong with me? A: Nothing. It is just you got too excited. Keep calm and taker away your thought from your woman when you are about to ejaculate. Tighten your anal muscle regularly. It will help you keep going for a longer time. Q: With diabetes, will I suffer from sexual weaknesses? A: Yes, if you are a diabetic and never exercise you will first of all, not experience much pleasure at the time of orgasm and also gradually lose your sexual desire as well as experience some erectile dysfunction. Unless you exercise and try some fitness regimen on daily basis you are into lot of sexual trouble with the passing of time. Q:Why do I have night falls? A: Everyone experiences night falls due to overflowing of excess sperm from the body. However, if the night falls are occurring ever day with the semen looking very watery; this is a matter of little concern. This could happen if you had been watching Erotica, pornographic movies or read them along with smoking, tobacco chewing and other addictions. To get back to shape and avoid night falls please start a exercise routine, healthy food and watch a healthy TV and other programs Q:For a healthy sexual life, what foods should I avoid? A: Simple, all foods and habits which are unfriendly to our body, such as coffee, food rich in hydrogenated oils, junk foods like chips cakes and sweets, all aerated drinks, alcohol, chewing tobacco and all other foods which are toxic to human body, such as meat and meat fats. Fats are the cause of cholesterol in human body. Cholesterol and lipids clog the blood vessels reaching the penis, giving rise to impotency. Q:I never get wet before sex, in spite of foreplay for a long time. I had been ill and had been on medical prescriptions> Advise me?

A: Go for a physical exercise regimen on daily basis. Lower the medication as you progress with your exercise and visit your physician regularly for a check up after lowering your dosage, just to be sure your body is under control. Too much medicines interfere with the human physiology. This may be the cause for your not being wet sexually. Q:Is protein powder harmful to our body? I take this after my exercise. A: No, not protein powder but other chemicals additionally taken with protein powders may be harmful. Keep exercising, it is a natural aphrodisiac for males as well as females. Q:For an exiting and long lasting sex, I take Viagara. Is it harmful. A: It is a chemical called sildenafil. Yes, it is harmful and may interfere with your normal ability to have sex. Exercise and good food is the best way to improve your sex drive. The side effect of this drug is endless. Stop taking it immediately. Q: Who can be classified a sex addict? A: Anyone who has an unnatural passion for sex could be regarded as sex addict. Generally, sex addiction is the side effect of too much porn, sex and similar activities in a person’s mind. If the mind is not engaged in any meaningful activities, it may be distracted by sexual information such as watching porn and sex on the net TV and flipping through porn magazines. Once the person is thoroughly engaged, he may not remain a sex addict. Q: I am obese, will it affect my sex life as a female? A: Yes, obesity may be due to hormonal imbalance leading to low sex drive. Also obese people have lower self-esteem as well as could suffer from various ailments such as cardiac problems, hypertension, diabetes etc. All these interfere with sex. Therefore, best is to cut down fat from the body, it brings a change in your personality. Q:What is vaginismus? A: A condition of the vagina where due to spasm the opening of the vagina contracts due to spasm and becomes very painful during sexual penetration or inserting anything in the vagina,like tampon or finger. It is a very uncomfortable situation. Q: What happens when we have sex without contraceptive and ejaculation inside the vagina. A: This is an extremely risky situation. Please never try this if you do not want your partner to become pregnant. An infinitesimal sperm release will make her pregnant. Please use some precaution during sex. What is sexually transmitted diseases? A:Diseases transmitted to your partner during sexual contact or kissing or oral sex is STD. Some of the common ones include syphilis, gonorrhoea, herpes, genital warts and of course HIV/AIDS. Q: I do not get erection and I feel frustrated, what could be the cause? A: If you never ever got sexually aroused it is a different matter. If you lately lost your sexual power, it is matter of concern. The reason could be anything. Please check your cholesterol level.If it is high, bring it down immediately. This way your arteries will get unclogged and the blood will flow into your penis engorging it with the rush of blood, giving you that erection. For other reasons, try sex foods like ginger, chillies, banana, mushrooms, garlic and onion. If you can find time to exercise it will definitely help you regain some of your sexual strength.