sexual fantasy

SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY TOPIC : SEXUAL FANTASY

PREPARED BY : ANNIE MARGARET A/P SANDELA RARAN 1

WHAT IS SEXUAL FANTASY A sexual fantasy, also called an erotic fantasy, is a deliberate fantasy or pattern of thoughts with the goal of creating or enhancing sexual feelings; it is mental imagery that an individual considers erotic. A fantasy can be a long, drawn-out story or a quick mental flash of sexual imagery; its purpose can range from sexual motivations, such as sexual arousal and reaching orgasm, to simply passing time or helping a person fall asleep ( Wikipedia.). Regardless of how you view yourself - as prudish or promiscuous, whether you are old or young, you must have had some fantasies about sex at one time or another. Sexual fantasies are generally sexual practices in which you would not normally engage, and may even include unnatural or illegal acts. Sexual fantasies have been given a bad rap despite their role in sexual therapy. For years, sexual fantasies have been associated with symptoms of emotional, sexual and psychological disturbances illness. However, sex research has recognised sexual fantasies as positive forms of erotic expression. Sexual fantasies add excitement to sex which can easily become mechanical, sterile and boring. In addition, it has been suggested that because sexual fantasies are private and do not depend on the participation of a partner, they may be more revealing than actual behavior of gender differences in sexuality ( Eliss & Symons,1990 ).In fantasy one can imagine anything one likes, however unrealistic, without experiencing embarrassment or rejection or societal and legal restrictions. Sexual fantasies therefore may provide a unique insight into the different scripts that may underlie sexual behavior in men and women ( Gagnon & Simon, 1973 )

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Does the picture shows intimacy or Sexual Fantasy??? Having sex outdoors actually one of the common sexual fantasy.

TThe Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife by Hokusai is an artistic depiction of sexual fantasy.

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What Theorists Says….

The misconceptions about sexual fantasies began with Freud (1908/1962) he wrote that a happy person never fantasizes, only an unsatisfied one”." Later thinkers embroidered this theme, developing what has become known as the deficiency theory. "People still believe that fantasies are compensation for lack of sexual opportunity,” says Leitenberg. "That if your sex life was adequate, you wouldn't have to fantasize. But the data show that, if anything, frequent fantasizers are having more than their share of fun in bed. They have sex more often, engage in a wider variety of erotic activities, have more partners, and masturbate more often than infrequent fantasizers, Leitenberg and Henning report in Psychological Bulletin. "Other psychoanalytic theorists says it is the result of sexual dissatisfaction, immaturity, frustration, masochism and conscious sexual conflicts especially in women. But other research says that infrequent sexual fantasy is one the defining criteria for the sexual disorder / inhibited sexual desire. People who have more frequent sexual fantasies also engaged in greater sexual activity in general. Men who are sexually active with many women might be considered “studs” whereas women in the same situation would be more likely be viewed as “sluts” .Most adults say they first remember fantasizing between the ages of 11 and 13. From there they quickly pick up speed. Sexual fantasies and thoughts are most common in hormone-addled teens and young adults. In one study, researchers asked people at random times during the day whether sex had crossed their minds during the past five minutes. Among 14- and 15-year-olds, 57 percent of boys and 42 percent of girls said yes. Affirmative responses were less common with increasing age: among 56-to 64-year-olds, 19 percent of men and 12 percent of women answered yes.

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Once you get beyond age, though, it's hard to predict whether a given person has lots of fantasies. Attempts to identify a "fantasy-prone" type of individual have been woefully unsuccessful. A study conducted by Heiman (1980) woman are not reporting as frequent sexual fantasies as man either because they do not realize that they are sexually arousing. If sexual activity is pleasurable, an individual might be more likely to engage in sexual fantasies because he or she might also expect that fantasies would be pleasurable Men may also have more sexual fantasies than woman simply because they are more exposed to external sexual images that stimulate fantasy. For examples popular media and advertising contain many more sexual images of woman than those of man. There is a gender difference in total frequency of sexual fantasy because men masturbate more frequently than women and they usually have sexual fantasies when they masturbate. A hypothesis is consistent with Jones and Barlow’s ( 1990 ) finding that men and women differed in externally trigged sexual fantasies but not internally triggered fantasies.Many couples share their fantasies to feel closer and gain more intimacy and trust, or simply to become more aroused or effect a more powerful physical response Sexual fantasies often entail mental scenarios involving persons other than one’s regular partner and include sexual activities considered culturally inappropriate or unacceptable. Therapists have found that fantasy can be useful in helping patients overcome sexual problems. With the help of a therapist, the individual may, through fantasy, confront the fearful stages of intimacy and lovemaking and reduce or eliminate those fears and apprehensions. As pointed out by G.D Wilson (1978) a sexual fantasy can be a elaborate story, or it can be a fleeting thought of some romantic or sexual activity. It can involve bizarre imagery, or can be quite realistic. It can involve memories in the past events, or it be a

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completely imaginary experience. It can occur spontaneously or be intentionally imagined or it can be provoked by other thoughts, feelings, or sensory cues. Sexual fantasies can take place outside of sexual activity, or they can occur during solitary masturbation or during sexual activity with a partner. In short , the term sexual fantasy refers to almost any mental imagery that is sexually arousing or erotic to the individual. The essential element of a deliberate sexual fantasy is the ability to control in imagination exactly takes place. Even reminiscences of past events can be altered so that only particularly exciting aspects are recalled or enhanced. The review that follows is concerned only with conscious sexual fantasy when a person is awake. Sexual dreams that occur when a person is asleep are not considered. Functions

There are many functions of sexual fantasies. These include:

1. Bringing about orgasms.

2. Letting out sexual feelings for pleasure and release pent-up sexual pressures and tensions in a private and safe way.

3. Having several sex partners of all types without being personally accountable.

In a study of college students in the United States, 30 per cent of men admitted that they had engaged in a lifetime of erotic fantasizing and had sexual encounters with over a thousand persons.

4. Allowing exploration of the body's erogenous zones and sexual unusual activities, such as masturbation.

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5. Defusing fears to troubleshoot and preview sexual problems that may arise in future real encounters.

6. Releasing fears or your curiosity about certain unusual sexual encounters like homosexual liaisons, having sex with animals or being held in bondage during sex. Fantasizing about certain sexual practices does not mean that you would actually want to do it, even if you could.

Most Popular Sexual Fantasies

Researchers also have tried to convey the content of sexual fantasies by listing the top 2, top 5, or top 10 fantasies ranked in order of frequency of occurrence. Sometimes these data are obtained from studies in which checklists of different fantasies are provided to participants. (unfortunately ,the list are not the same across studies).Some of the common fantasies are : (a) Having sex in the workplace (such as the office). (b) Having sex in a lift (c) Having sex with a person visiting the home, such as a person repairing the television or a sales person. (d) Sex between student and teacher (c) Sex between a patient with a doctor or nurse. (d) Sex in public or in a public place (e) Sex with a multitude of partners (f) Sex in a place where a person might be caught in the act (g) Having sex outdoors (h) Being taken against your will, being submissive or dominated (i) Being dominant

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(j) sexually in control (k) Sex with a prostitute (l) Sex, pretending you are a prostitute (m) Sex with a virgin (n) Acting as if inexperienced sexually or acting as if a virgin (o) Having sex with someone considered inappropriate such as a nun or a priest (p) Pretending to be a famous person or a fictional character (q) Having sex with a famous person or fictional character (r) Trying sexual positions or approaches a person may not be practicing in real life (s) Wearing the clothing of the opposite sex or being forced to wear this clothing (v) Being videotaped either knowingly or unknowingly.

In one of the pioneer studies in this are , Hariton and Singer (1974) provided 41 married woman with 15-item fantasy list, that they had derived on the basis of pilot research .The most commonly experience fantasy was “of an imaginary romantic lover”, follow closely by “ I imagine that I am being overpowered or forced to surrender” ;”reliving a sexual experience”, and “ pretending I am doing something wicked and forbidden”. Hunt 1974 found the following 5 fantasies in order frequency, to be the most common for both men and woman ; intercourse with a loved one, intercourse with stranger , multiple partners of the opposite sex at the same time, doing things sexually that you would never do in reality, and being forced or forcing someone to have sex. Crepault et.al (1976) and Crepault and Couture (1980) found that the 2 most popular fantasies for both men and woman ere being with another partner and reliving a previous sexual experience. In addition, the 5 themes most

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often chosen by women were among the top 7 chosen by men, namely being with another partner, and cunnilingus. When Sue (1979)

had participants rate the frequency of 13

different fantasies, the 2 most frequent for both men and women involved oral-genital sexual activity and others finding one sexually irresistible .When G.D. Wilson and Lang (1981) had male and female participants indicate which 40 fantasy items they found most exciting, both men and woman reported “intercourse with a loved partner”,. Shanor (1977) found that the 5 most frequently occuring fantasies in the 303 women she interviewed were sex with a new male partner, replay of a prior sexual experience sex with a celebrity, seducing a younger man or boy, and sex with an older man. In subsequent survey study with 4,062 men ( Shanor,1978) she found that their 5 most frequently occurring fantasies were image of a nude a semi nude female, sex with a new female partner partner , replay of a prior sexual experience, sex with two or more women, and power to drive a woman wild. Davidson (1985) found that the 5 most frequently experienced fantasies for men were different sexual positions during intercourse, women aggressor, oral sex, sex with a new female partner ,and sex on the beach. For women, the top 5 were sexual activity with current partner, reliving a pat sexual experience, different sexual positions during intercourse, having intercourse in rooms other than the bedroom, and having sex on a carpeted floor.

While the most common fantasies involve routine sex with a past, present, or imaginary partner, that's not to say that we don't occasionally give our fantasy muscles a more strenuous workout. In addition to those decidedly "vanilla" scenarios, Leitenberg and Henning describe three other primary flavors of fantasy: Novel or "forbidden" imagery. This includes unconventional settings, questionable partners like strangers or relatives, and ligament-

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straining positions worthy of the Kama Sutra. Or as Dr. Seuss once asked (albeit in a somewhat different context): "Would you, could you, in a boat? Could you, would you, with a goat?". Scenes of sexual irresistibility. Here the emphasis is on seductive power: overcoming the reluctance of an initially indifferent man or woman through sheer animal magnetism. Or the irresistibility may take numerical form in fantasies involving multiple partners. Dominance and submission fantasies. In these, sexual power is expressed either ritualistically--in sadomasochistic activities--or through physical force, as in rape fantasies. Such fantasies are surprisingly common. Person reports that 44 percent of men have had fantasies of dominating a partner. Other studies found that 51 percent of women fantasized about being forced to have sex, while a third imagined: "I'm a slave who must obey a man's every wish." .None of this means, of course, that real-world rape victims "really want it." "Women who find submission fantasies sexually arousing are very clear that they have no wish to be raped in reality," say Leitenberg and Henning. In their fantasies, women control every aspect of what occurs. And their scenarios are far less brutal than real-life attacks. Typically the fantasy involves an attractive man whose restraint is simply overwhelmed by the woman's attractiveness. These fantasies serve the same psychological purpose as scenes of irresistibility. "It's different means to the same end" says Leitenberg. "We want to be desired." Incidentally, researchers find little difference in the fantasies of hetero- and homosexuals--except in the gender of participants. The most popular fantasies reported by respondents in other studies could be enumerated, but they convey very little new information.

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One of the Unfulfilled fantasy for Ning Baizura.

I know it'll never happen but it involves five guys and me, all at the same time. But this time the men will be the masters and I will be the slaves-the only slave.(Interview session with Ning Baizura in FMH magazine in July 2000 from page 68 -76)

Gender Differences in the content of Sexual Fantasies

There appear to be some notable differences in the content of sexual fantasies of men and women. Men’s fantasies are more active about focus more on the woman’s body and on what he wants to do it, whereas woman’s fantasies are more passive and focus more on men’s interest in their bodies. Men’s sexual fantasies also focus more on explicit sexual acts, nude bodies, and physical gratification, whereas woman use more emotional context and romance

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in their sexual fantasies. Men are more likely to fantasize about multiple partners and group sex than are women .In review of all of the evidence presented from the previous studies Ellis and Symons have reduced the sex differences of males to the following: a) Men tend to lust and have an ‘appetitive' desire. This can be

seen in male

sexual fantasies as well as pornography. b) Because men lust, their fantasies often de-personalize the women to a sex object and therefore usually focus more on the sex organs, sexual acts, and the physical attributes of the woman. c) Men tend to become more sexually aroused by visual stimulation therefore making the fantasy more likely to focus on the visual images of the imagined partner. d) Men also tend to view women as the sexual object and often see themselves performing the act to the woman. Male fantasies also reflect physical attraction in that they are more likely to have more than one partner in the fantasy. The male fantasy world relies heavily upon novel experiences filled with culturally-defined beautiful women who are always sexually available and free. Pornographic magazines such as Playboy and Penthouse, as well as a wide array of so-called harder publications (because they depict explicit sex acts), attempt to capitalize upon such fantasies. The romance/genitalia dichotomy isn't the only major differences in male and female fantasies, report Leitenberg and Henning. Here are some others: 1) Men are more likely to imagine themselves doing something to a woman, and their fantasies focus on her body. Women, on the other hand, tend to envision something being done to them and to concentrate more on their partner's interest in her.

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2) Male fantasies more often involve sex with two or more partners at one time. In one study, a third of men had fantasies about sex with multiple partners--twice the number of women. Guys are also more likely to switch partners in mid-fantasy. 3) Both sexes imagine overpowering a partner or being forced to submit to another's wishes. But men are more likely to have domination fantasies, while women tend to see themselves submitting to a partner's sexual wishes. One researcher reports that 13 percent of women but only 4 percent of men said that their favorite fantasy was being forced to have sex. 4) Men have a greater variety of fantasies. Asked to check off all those they had experienced in the past three months (on a list of 55), male collegians indicated 26 of them. Women listed only 14. According to Money and Ehrhardt (1972), this basic active passive difference is also reflected in men”s and woman responses to pornographic films. even though both may be equally aroused by a particular film, the man tends to imagine having sex with the woman in the film, whereas the woman watching imagines herself as the object of the man’s passion. In other words, the main focuses on the woman’s body, whereas the woman

focuses on the

man” interest in her body. Women often base their fantasies upon previous sexual experiences and tend to emphasize romance and intimacy. The onset of the women's liberation movement has created a renaissance in erotic fiction aimed at women by women writers and film makers. "Sexual fantasizing is a natural, universal psychological phenomenon similar to dreaming," says Wendy Maltz M.S.W. coauthor with Suzie Boss of the newly released book, Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies (New World Library, 2001). "And, like with dreams, some sexual fantasies are fun

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and satisfying, while others may trouble us a lot .Finally, women are more likely to have submission fantasies whereas men are more likely to have dominance fantasies although both types of force fantasies may indirectly be serving the same purpose: affirming sexual power and irresistibility. Although women can be as physically aroused as men by typical X-rated videos (Griffitt,1987;Schmidt,1975) and can masturbate to orgasm as rapidly as men when viewing these films (T.D Fisher, Pollack, & Makatesta,1986) they have much more negative attitudes toward this material than do men. "In Women On Top", Nancy Friday maintains that women have started a sexual revolution for equality and should implement it with a rich fantasy life. In her study of over 10,000 women, Friday noted that in recent years women's fantasies have relied more on active, assertive women giving pleasure, as compared to the fantasies containing more passive women receiving pleasure indicated by prior research. These findings suggest the importance of social environment (e.g., the impact of feminism) on the structuring of fantasy. People generally fantasize when engaging in autoerotic sex or masturbation. In his research findings, the prominent sexologist Alfred C. Kinsey reported that fantasy accompanied masturbation for the majority (sixty-four percent) of females and virtually all males. About two percent of the women in his study sample reported achieving orgasm by fantasy alone. Older females were more prone to fantasize than younger females. Some people, particularly but not solely those from rural areas, have fantasies about sexual contact with animals. Instead, men are primary consumers of what is usually thought of as pornography, whereas woman are the primary consumers of romance novels. Thus, pornography appears to be commercially successful because it closely corresponds to men’s sexual fantasies, whereas

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romance fiction appears to be commercially successful because it corresponds more closely to women’s fantasies. Out Of Control At times, sexual fantasies can get out of control. Research at the Masters and Johnson's Institute showed that two-thirds of men who engage in far-out sexual fantasies say they would try their fantasies if given the chance. Rape fantasies, for instance, are far more common than rapes themselves. And as an extreme example, consider that only 22 percent of child molesters say they had sexual fantasies about kids before their first molestation. So unusual fantasies are a concern only when they become compulsive or exclusive, or for individuals "in whom the barrier between thought and behavior has been broken," say Leitenberg and Henning,Persons may be so compelled to act out strange fantasies or become so obsessed with them to the extent that their flesh and blood partner becomes unimportant. This obsession can turn to a paraphilia (perversion) and the person eventually engages in deviant behavior, such as rape or sexual abuse, just to live out the passion. Even if sexual fantasies have an impact on sex offenders behavior, however, no studies have assessed the relative importance of fantasy in comparison with all other contributing factors in rapist, child molesters, or exhibitionists. Moreover, and most important, there is no evidence that sexual fantasies, by themselves are either a sufficient or a necessary condition for committing a sexual offense.

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Social Views of Sexual Fantasy

Taboo status of sexual fantasies in many places around the world, open discussion is forbidden. Sexual fantasies were seen as evil or sinful and were seen as horrid thoughts planted into the minds of people by “agents of the devils” (Rathus, 2005). Even psychologists went so far as to diagnose sexual fantasies in females as a sign of hysteria (Scott, 1994).Many experts view sexual fantasies as abnormal prior to the early 20th century. Many people still feel shame and guilt about their fantasies. This type of shame regularly leads to a decline in the quality of a couple’s sex life and an unhappy relationship ( Scott, 1994) Social views on sexual fantasy (and sex in general) differ throughout the world. The privacy of a person's fantasy is influenced greatly by social conditions. Because of the taboo status of sexual fantasies in many places around the world, open discussion — or even

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acknowledgment — is forbidden, forcing fantasies to stay private. In more lax conditions, a person may share their fantasies with close friends, significant others, or a group of people with whom the person is comfortable. Historically, the moral acceptance and formal study of sexual fantasy in Western culture is relatively new. Prior to their acceptance, sexual fantasies were seen as evil or sinful, and they were commonly seen as horrid thoughts planted into the minds of people by "agents of the devil." Even when psychologists were willing to accept and study fantasies, they showed little understanding and went so far as to diagnose sexual fantasies in females as a sign of hysteria.Prior to the early twentieth century, many experts viewed sexual fantasy (particularly in females) as abnormalOver several decades, sexual fantasies became more acceptable as notable works and compilations, such as Alfred Kinsey's Kinsey Reports, Erotic Fantasies: A Study of the Sexual Imagination by Drs. Phyllis and Eberhard Kronhausen, and Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, were published.Despite the Western World's relatively lax attitudes towards sexual fantasy, many people still feel shame and guilt about their fantasies. This type of shame regularly leads to a decline in the quality of a couple's sex life, and an unhappy relationship.Sexual fantasies about people other than one's spouse are prohibited by Christian religion in Matthew 5:28. Also masturbation is prohibited. Beside that it is also mention in Islamic religion and other religion as well.

Importance Of Sexual Fantasy Thought to play a significant role in the commission of sexual offences such as exhibitionism, rape and sexual abuse (Abel & Blanchard, 1974). Provide a unique insight into the different scripts that may underlie sexual behavior in men and women eg. anything one likes and however unrealistic (Gagnon & Simon, 1973).Therapists have found that

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fantasy can be useful in helping patients overcome sexual problems. With the help of a therapist, the individual may, through fantasy, confront the fearful stages and apprehensions. The more you know about sexual fantasies, the more options you have about what types of sexual fantasies you entertain," says Wendy Maltz M.S.W coauthor with Suzie Boss of the newly released book, Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies (New World Library, 2001). "Fantasies that improve self-esteem and intimacy with a partner are usually the most desirable. Partners are often concerned about sharing their sexual fantasies with each other. In some cases when it is done, it lacks the spark that is expected, especially if the setting is not right or your partner is not fully sold on it. Some jealous partner may insist on knowing who was the object of your fantasy,

and could lead to

problems. You have to know what your partner can tolerate. Sex therapists suggest that both partners should commit to trying out a fantasy together and see what effect it has on their sexual relations. In addition, it has been suggested that because sexual fantasy are private and do not depend on the participants of a partner they may be more revealing than actual behaviour of gender differences in sexuality ( Ellis & Symons,1990).In fantasy one can imagine anything one likes, however unrealistic without experiencing embarresment or rejection or societal and legal restrictions. sexual fantasies, therefore may provide a unique insight into the different scripts that may underlie sexual behaviour in men and women. ( Gagnon & Simon,1973 ).Sexual fantasies are also considered important because they are thought to play a significant role in the commission of sexual offenses such as exhibitionism, rape and child sexual abuse (eg.., Abel & Blanchard,1974 ).In addition, lack of sexual fantasies may contribute to sexual dysfunction (e.g. Cado & Leitenberg,1990:Zimmer, Borchardt,& Fischle,1983).

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Conclusion

Sexual fantasy is an integral part of everyday human existence and it can have clinical and social significance. As such, sexual fantasy needs to be afforded the same careful research attention as any other important aspect of human behavior.

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References

1. Sexual fantasy.(2005) Wikipedia , the free encyclopedia. Retrieved: February 27,2000 file://A:\Sexual fantasy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.htm2 2. Harold, L. & Kris, H. (1995). Sexual Fantasy. Psychological Bulletin. Vol117. No.3: 469-496. 3. Freud, (1908/1962. In Harold, L. & Kris, H. (1995). Sexual/* Fantasy. Psychological Bulletin. Vol117. No.3.469-496. 4. Heiman, (1980). In Harold, L. & Kris, H. (1995). Sexual Fantasy. Psychological Bulletin. Vol117. No.3.469-496. 5. Jones and Barlow’s, ( 1990 ). In Harold, L. & Kris, H. (1995). Sexual Fantasy. Psychological Bulletin. Vol117. No.3.469-496 6. Sexual Fantasy.Retrieved in February 20,2008 from http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/fantasy_02.html 7. Are Sexual Fantasies Good For Us? Retrieved February 20,2008 from http://www.jurgita.com/articles-id174.html

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