Sex & the Spiritual Guy (or Woman)
by Jon Peniel
© 2001 Windsor-Hill, Inc. First Printing ISBN # 0-966015-6-7
TABLE OF CONTENTS About the Author…………………………...…………3 Sex and the Spiritual Guy (or Women)………………4 New and Improved (Sex)!……………………………..5 Question of Balance……………………………..……5 Defining a sexual outlook………………………..……7 My Early Views About Sex (and my mothers)…..…..7 The Big But……………………………………….….10 Opposites Attract……………………………….……12 The Fundamental Issue – Who Are We?…………..13 The Problem behind all the Problems………….…..14 Sex and the single guilt……………………………...19 A matter of conscience?…………………………….22 Selfishness, The Conflict, Guilt, and Repression Rips Us Apart……………………………………………..25 The Various Methods People Have Used to Cope with the Internal Sex Struggle………………………26 The Addiction Factor………………………………..27 “Johnny, men and women are ‘different’ from each other”….……………………………………………..29 Male and Female Sexual Drives Come from”Different Places”………………………………………………..30 Products that might Interest You………………...…31
About the author: Jon Peniel is an American who spent years in a unique pre-Buddhist monastery. His expertise covers all known forms of tantra/tantric sex from various cultures. He has personally mastered the forms of tantra taught at the monastery (3 years of traditional training, then decades of practicing). Jon Peniel entered the monastery while still a teenager. There, he was also educated in the spiritual teachings and practices of most of the world’s traditions and cultures. He studied ancient teachings, and practiced tantra, meditation, and yoga, eventually attaining their highest degree of spiritual achievement by the age of 21. Peniel wrote a book about the order’s ancient teachings, in the late 1990’s. It became an independent press best seller in the US and Israel. He is now the international “head” of the order, and teaches, primarily in North America. The monastery was located in an area of Tibet that was considered "forbidden" by the people of Tibet and even Tibetan Buddhists. It remained unknown to the outside world until recently, when Peniel wrote a book about his experiences there, revealing their teachings and ancestry. Even the area where the monastery was located, was a mystery and paradox - a sub-tropical valley, amidst the high frozen Himalayas. It was a part of the world never before documented by "outsiders" until explorers from National Geographic finally made it there a few years ago. The late, famous psychic, Edgar Cayce spoke many times of the obscure spiritual order Peniel belongs to, during the years of psychic readings he gave. Cayce, sometimes called “the sleeping prophet” because he would give his readings during an out of body experience or trance state, was the most documented psychic in the world. Interestingly, Cayce also prophesized the future "arrival" of a spiritual messenger/teacher, named Peniel.
Sex and the Spiritual Guy (or Woman) This book has two categories of readers. One is the person who just wants to become a better lover, improve their sex life, sexual abilities, and perhaps give it a deeper dimension. The other is those who are on a spiritual path, and either want to use sex as one more tool for spiritual development, or find the best way to integrate sex into a spiritually oriented lifestyle. Since I’m having to write for both types of potential readers, let me apologize in advance to each group, for the parts of my writing that aren’t specific to your particular goals. But, you will find what you are looking for here – regardless of whether it is the ultimate in spiritual sexuality, or a new understanding leading towards the best sex you’ve ever had. In this first of the spiritual sexuality series, we’ll discuss the fundamental biological, psychological, and spiritual issues of sex, and the various attitudes and ways people have of approaching it. In the second book, we’ll cover the various methods of tantric sex, the positives and negatives of each, and give detailed instruction in what we’ve found to be the best method (and give you the reasons why, so you can decide for yourself).
But first, a word from our sponsor (SEX).
New and Improved (sex)! Gets your attention, doesn’t it? Of course it does – the concept of sex is involved. If you want someone to pay attention, watch something, hear something, buy something, there’s no better way to accomplish your goal than somehow tying “sex” into it. And it isn’t by accident that we find it so alluring. In fact, it is alluring whether we are “pro” sex, or “con”. Why? Regardless of your opinion about sex (or anyone else’s), the fact that it makes the “world go ‘round” is inescapable. All of nature, plants, animals, humans, electricity, magnetism, planets, stars - the Cosmos itself, follow “sex-like” rules of behavior, and indeed, appear to be engaged in what we could call sexual activity. It is such an obviously important and fundamental force, yet one that is often considered anywhere from merely embarrassing, to sinful and bad. For those who are especially concerned with living a spiritual life, or practicing the spiritual sexual disciplines of tantric yoga/tantra yoga, known as tantra or tantric sex, it is an even more important issue. Thus our goal in this book is to consider if, where, and/or how, sex “fits in” with “human” spirituality. But before we can do that, we should probably define what a human is, and what sex is. Wow, do we ever have a lot of questions and “issues” to discuss. Questions of Balance Let’s start with these: Is sex bad? Is sex good? Is sex spiritual or carnal? Obviously you’ll get different answers to those questions depending on whom you ask. For most of you, your view of sex will be a mix of the above. Even those of you who believe that sex is good, and/or spiritual, will
probably have a few “subconscious demons” running around inside your head, saying “it’s bad and animalistic”. Since I’m the only one here right now, and writing the book, I guess I’ll give my answers. My answer to the first two is the same - yes and no. My answer to the third question is, “both”. The answers are a very simple, yet paradoxical truth, based on a number of issues. The first one being, it all “depends”. Sorry to go all “Zen” on you, but as with all paradoxes, it will often seem confusing when you try to make it all “left-brain logical”, “black & white” (a “yes” or “no” answer to each question, for instance). But when you let go of trying to take one side or the other, or trying to reconcile the contradictions separately with your intellectual mind, then you can intuitively understand it as a “whole”, as a “Oneness”. Then you get to the real truth or reality of the matter. Short of doing that, if you insist on more clearly defined black and white logical answers, then we’d be forced to say that basically, the answers to the above questions can be: a) Any of the above; or, b) A mix of the above. What does that mean? The “goodness” or “badness” of sex, all depends on how sex is used (or not used), the circumstances, and the consciousness of the person or people involved. For instance, a car can be used to travel to good places/do good things, or travel to bad places, and do bad things. A car can get someone to a hospital, or run someone over. So can you say a car is good or bad in and of itself (other than environmental issues)? No. Isn’t the real issue who is driving, what their intent is, and what they do with the car? So asking whether a car is bad, or good, isn’t even asking the right question. And the first step towards any solution, is defining the problem – asking the right question. So asking whether sex is good or bad, is also, not the right question.
Defining your sexual outlook Some think of a body as a “temple”, vessel or vehicle for the spirit/soul. To others, it is something to be used as a vehicle for the self, for selfish pursuits. In either case though, we do use our bodies as vehicles, just like we use a car. We are the “drivers”, controlling our brain and body. So when we think about whether sex is good or bad, we need to think of it “in context” so to speak - consider “who’s driving” at the time, why, what’s going to be done, and what the consequences will be. Here’s a list of some questions to help you define your sexual outlook further: 1. If you believe/feel that sex is “bad”, “sinful” or “spiritual”, what exactly is your definition of those things? 2. If you think it’s bad or sinful, what makes it so? 3. If you believe/feel that sex is a positive, spiritual thing, what makes it so? 4. Is your idea of sex, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually constructive? Or Destructive? I’ll discuss those topics in more depth later, but let me start by telling you a personal story from my past, regarding how I related to spirituality and sexuality when I was young. My Early Views About Sex (and my mother’s) I was an unusual teenager. My primary focus was searching to answer my questions about creation, life, death, and the existence of the Universe and God. I spent most of my spare time looking for truth, and answers that really made sense. At that time, I believed so strongly that sex, even sexual feelings, were so “NOT spiritual”, that it destroyed my relationships. Yet I was strongly driven towards sex, and also masturbated a great deal (until I found my path). It was obviously quite an internal conflict.
Why did I believe and behave that way? There were a number of reasons. The religion I was raised with considered sex highly sinful – it was only OK for procreation within marriage (within certain bounds), and even then, it wasn’t supposed to be enjoyed. Obviously, that influenced me and I received “programming” from it. Plus, at the time, I believed in the teachings of my church, and accepted them blindly. So a “guilt trip” started developing from that programming. My mother, who was also of the same religion (but had her own prudishness on top of that), also affected my programming. The “silent programming” I received from her was even greater, because she never spoke about the subject of sex - ever. Since sex was something SO awful, so bad, that it was “never even to be talked about”, that sent a very strong message. She did, however, give me a “sex education” book when I was 14. She gave it to me silently (and with great embarrassment), and just turned away and walked off. The book was called “A doctor talks to a 12 to 13 year old”. For all the good it did, and how little about sex you could get out of it, it may have just as well been a motorcycle repair manual written in Japanese rather than a “sex education” manual. Some of you got similar “messages” from your parents or churches to varying degrees, and some did not. Next, society itself was sending me messages about sex, by making a myriad of laws that essentially tell us that sex is a bad thing, and children must especially be protected from hearing about it, seeing it, even KNOWING about it. You could watch someone violently killed on television – but MY GOD, DON’T SHOW A BREAST!!! But at the same time, other messages contradicted that, and made it clear that sex was a VERY desirable thing. Sex was everywhere. It was used and promoted to sell everything from dishwashers to magazines. It was also used to increase the attraction and popularity of TV shows, movies, live shows and comedy acts.
So our society sends us mixed messages that sex is both bad, and good. While laws against saying certain words, nudity, certain types of sex, prostitution, sexual literature, magazines, photographs, or anything else that involved sex, sent me messages that it was bad, real life and my own bodily urges, sent messages that it was extremely good and desirable. The mixed messages were everywhere, leaving everyone, including me, at least inwardly confused and with internal conflicts to varying degrees. Just one of many examples of the results of this confusion and conflict, is that most people want to have sex, and most people have sex, yet they “hide” when they have sex (they don’t want anyone to see or hear them doing the disgusting deed they so enjoy). And they generally feel bad about having sex in some way or another (even if it is just subconsciously). No animal has such conflict or guilt. What is the worst thing you can say to someone you are angry with or hate? - “Fuck You!” How can something so desirable, and something that can be so wonderful, be considered so horrible that it would become the worst cuss word? Why is one of the favorite things adults enjoy, derive pleasure from, and like to do, hidden so intensely from children - as if it would destroy them? Clearly something is wrong. Once when I was a kid, a guy was trying to pick a fight with me, and said “I fucked your mother!” Fortunately, I didn’t let it get my goat (or even my cow), and just said back to him, “That’s your problem”. He was so confused by my response, he just left me alone and went on his way. But even without my mind being shaped by all the social messages and family/religious programming, I also made my own observations, which further reinforced a feeling/belief that sex was a negative force. I noticed that when men got “lusty”, it often brought out something unpleasant in them. It felt “sleazy”, “guttural”, and even felt
like it could be dangerous or on the edge of some sort of violent behavior. It definitely stimulated their selfish nature and diminished their spiritual and caring nature. It seemed similar to the subtle effects of alcohol, or even getting flat out drunk. And of course, rape, child abuse, and other horrible things were all related to sexual urges and/or violence also. I even had a teenage friend, who was sexually abused as a child, and when she turned 18, she got a job as a topless cocktail waitress in a bar. There she met a “nice” guy who she started dating. He gave her free drugs, and nice things. Eventually he introduced her to heroin, which he also gave her for “free”. Before she knew it, he put her out on the streets working as a prostitute for him. That was the last I ever heard of her. So the greatest weight of my personal experiences and programming, left me feeling quite strongly that sex was bad, and sex and spirituality definitely did not go hand in hand. Yet, there was a big “but” that was waiting in the wings. The Big But (not Big Butt – get your head out of the gutter) But… one day when I was meditating, something wonderful happened. My “eyes” were suddenly opened to the “workings of the Universe” – of all creation. I deeply realized how it was all related to things like “attraction” and “energy exchange”, in one form or another. Sex drives the Universe. Why is a planet attracted to a Sun? Gravity, they say. And what is gravity? “Good question”, they say. But few venture an answer. Could it be something similar to why humans are attracted to each other, but on some “grand cosmic scheme of things” level of some kind? Yes. This attraction and energy exchange between things like stars and planets, is the way new life, new levels of vibration/existence are created. And why does the union and interaction of the forces of planets and the Sun, create new life? It is all basically about “sex” (in some form that most people don’t necessarily see as sex). But it is sex, procreation,
“love making” on various levels of vibration. All the life forms within what we call “nature”, are but the children of the relationship and interaction between the Earth and Sun. You can take a so-called “scientific viewpoint” and use fancy terms – like gravity, inertia, photosynthesis, etc., etc., but the bottom line is there is attraction, “linking up”, and energy exchange. And then the birth of new life, and other octaves of vibration. What is gravity after all? What is photosynthesis and why does it exist? It is all about the essence of life, the driving forces in the workings and harmony of the entire Universe. Thus, it is something that all life experiences. And humans are part of the entirety of life. Virtually all creation, including everything in nature (what we call life forms like plants and animals), has sex in some way (and without shame). Even coral reefs have sex once a year during a special full moon! Even life forms that you might call mono-sexual (those that can self-reproduce), are still doing so because they have both opposite sexual elements within one “body”. And as I just mentioned, depending on how you look at it, the Sun and planets, countless solar systems, and the very Universe itself, are all “having sex” – all the time. All things share this in common. Their existence, functions, actions, and pro-creation are based on polarity interactions – sex - both on micro-cosmic levels, and macrocosmic levels. Why do you think scientists call the popular theory of the origin of the universe, “the big bang” (sorry, couldn’t resist the joke). But it may not be so far from the truth – they understand part of the picture, but not the whole thing (because it can’t be fully understood just by using the intellectual ability of our limited brains – it takes the ability to go beyond that). Unfortunately, even that revelation I received during meditation, didn’t get rid of my negative programming about sex. I wasn’t free of that, until I was finally free of my “selfish
separate self” and all the subconscious programming that was attached to it. Even the great physicist, Albert Einstein, had things to say that relate to this issue. I read a book of quotes by him, and about his spiritual beliefs, many, many years ago. I’m a bit foggy on it now, but I think that his final words were: “The greatest power in the Universe, is love.” If they weren’t, someone should say it. Einstein also said, “You never need to count over the number 4”. That cryptic comment led me to believe that he understood the meta-physics principle of “Yod He Vau He”. Which interestingly enough, brings us back to sex. According to ancient teachings, Yod He Vau He is the oldest known name for God, and is “the key to understanding creation and the Universe”. It symbolically & mathematically represents the actual process of all creation. And yep, it represents sex and procreation, and the spiritual process behind it all – from a frog to the galaxy. (For a full explanation of this “word/name of God”/concept/key, read “The Children of the Law of One & The Lost Teachings of Atlantis”.) Opposites attract, but when Not in balance… Electricity, atoms, magnets, etc., all involve positive/negative charges – which are what’s behind their attraction, energy exchange, etc. Planets, stars and humans essentially function the same way, but not in such a “clear cut”, easily provable or definable way. But it’s pretty obvious if you open your mind. So for our purposes in this discussion, let’s just agree that the essence of a male is the opposite polarity of what a female essence is. They are essentially “oppositely charged”, and thus opposite in certain ways. And those essentially “opposite” internal things that make them different, cause many external differences also. It’s those opposite characteristics that are behind both the attraction between sexes, and the problems – like the lack of one sex being able
to understand the feelings, thinking and behavior of the opposite sex (you know, the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” bit). At this point some gay readers are probably asking, “Then how do gays fit into this?” I can’t really get into detail about that here because it’s far too complex and would take another book to address properly. But basically, it depends on your inner polarity - and determining that gets into reincarnation, motivation, karma, use of the mind, etc. You can’t really generalize. For instance, I believe in reincarnation. I know some gay people who are actually crossing over sexuality in various lifetimes, to experience one thing or another, for various reasons. I know one person who, on the inner level, is a gay man in a woman’s body - think about that for a while if you want a brain-teaser or headache. Like I said, too complex to deal with here. Getting back to the male/female “opposites” issue why isn’t there intellectual, emotional, and mental harmony between the sexes? And why is there so much guilt and condemnation around sex?
The Fundamental Issue – Who ARE We? If you believe we are spirits - have souls (as I assume most reading this do) - here’s the big staggering truth that affects the human race in ALL things (including sex), and makes it what it is, so you may want to remember it, or post it on your wall. We are spiritual beings inhabiting animal bodies. Humans aren’t just animals. So we don’t have the natural innocence and instincts that they have. Humans also aren’t just angelic light beings consciously connected to the Universal Spirit/God. So we don’t have the freedom, crystalclear intuition, and inner peace of that package either. We are a “mutt”, a mix of the two, and unfortunately, the mix is a
bad one. It brings us many different problems – of which sex is only one. The Problem Behind All The Problems Some of you have read my other books, and thus are already familiar with the overall metaphysical concepts about life, existence, etc., found in the ancient teachings our spiritual order is based on. But for those who haven’t, I’ll give a brief summary to aid in understanding what is really behind the sex/guilt problem. The ancient teachings (and now much of modern science) say that all things in the Universe are vibrating at different frequencies, which create different “levels” of existence. A gross example is water – at different vibration levels, it can exist as a vapor (humidity/steam), a liquid (water), or a solid (water ice). The teachings also say: The essence of a human being, is a soul/spiritual being who vibrationally belongs in the high vibration (fast vibration) spiritual realms, and is caught up living in an animal body in the slow vibration physical realms. So what happened to us? Why are we living here in the slow, gross physical matter levels of vibration/existence? The reasons are complex, and if you want to understand it, you should read the “Lost Teachings of Atlantis”, because I can’t cover the topic thoroughly enough in this spiritual sexuality booklet. In any case, it makes it easier to grasp the idea, if you think of it this way - we were once something like Angels who contained both polarities within us – male and female. We were a “balanced” being. For whatever reason (which we don’t have time for here), we “fell” from our higher (rapid) vibration state of existence of energy and light, into the slower/lower vibration existence of physical matter. We had a “vibratory and consciousness fall” from a spiritual state of existence, into the physical state that is predominant here on Earth. Who we really are, a “soul”/a “spirit”, is now inhabiting, and “merged” with, animal bodies.
Unfortunately, there’s more to it. In the state of high vibration energy that we once existed, all is “One” in the Universe. Because, the fact is, everything in the universe is energy, and it is all One. This is a fact of physics, metaphysics, and a common premise of spirituality. But the physical plane is a realm of dualities and separateness, not unity. So “male” and “female” polarities, exist as separate things in this realm. And unless they are working together, as One, there is disharmony and strife. Furthermore, this lowering of vibration caused a serious loss of awareness. The consciousness of oneness with the universe, with ALL, with universal spirit, was suddenly gone when we entered the physical plane. We were “separate”. Thus we thought, and acted, as separate. Self-centeredness was born. Selfishness was born. And that, is THE BIG PROBLEM OF PROBLEMS. Think of anything bad, anything wrong on Earth that involves humans. Then trace it back to it’s source. It is always “selfishness”. And selfishness is simply the natural outcome of thinking and believing you are “separate” from everything/everyone else. There would be NO war, no hurting, no environmental problems, no male/female disharmony, if everyone simply realized we are all one, and cared for each other accordingly, with unselfish love. There you have the big answer to all problems, including sex. But back to sex, and the unfortunate reality of the “human condition”. So humans retain a sense of, or internal memory of their spiritual legacy. It gives us a “conscience” too. Humans are thus an enigma. The only life-form that is part “angel” and part animal. Which is why humans don’t seem to fit well into the order of things here. And that’s also where many of our sexuality, and spirituality “issues” begin. A spiritual being inhabiting what is essentially an animal body, has a built-in battle - an eternal struggle between the two natures. The animal, wants to be an animal. It instinctually wants to have sex to procreate. It has no shame, nor even consideration about it, outside of it’s instinctual urges.
For instance, male animals will sometimes fight a rival to have sex or have a mate. We see that reflected in human male urges, right? But it is complicated with moral and guilt issues springing from conscience, social programming, and ego pressures of various kinds. Yet for a simple, pure animal, in its own realm, it’s not only natural, and part of its survival, it’s part of the way the ongoing process of creation functions. Most of us intellectually “know” and accept that. Yet because we have our inner conflict between our animal and spiritual natures, many of us find such animal behavior disturbing somehow – even if it is just “under the surface”, “in the back of our mind”, or subconsciously. Why? Because of our own issues - our internal “animal/angel” confusion. It can even make us feel “embarrassed” to see animals have sex. Even so, we still don’t consider it evil, or even bad. And the animals are totally unashamed, totally in harmony with nature and God. So what are the mechanisms that make it so different with we human beings? There are so many, where do we start? We could get into the metaphor of eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (which animals didn’t do), etc., but instead, let’s examine repression and denial. Repression and denial of what? Of BOTH the animal part of us by the spiritual part, and the spiritual part of us by the animal nature. Boy does that leave us being a bunch of confused puppies (or should I say, confused humans). We don’t fit in anywhere. Regardless of whether you see us as “Angels” who manifested on Earth, or you’re a “Darwinian”, or a “creationist” – there is one inescapable fact - our bodies have all the sex “parts”, instincts, and drives to have sex, that animals have. If we weren’t meant to have sex, why the parts? Why the animal urges? Why do human teenagers start being able to reproduce in their early teens? A mistake of nature, or of God, like the Avocado pit (joke)? And why as teens do we start having the strongest urges we’ve ever had about anything in our lives, and those urges just happen to be urges to have
sex? Did nature make a mistake? I don’t think so. What arrogance to think so, or to even “second guess” nature’s design & plan for our human bodies (of course, arrogance in the face of nature and the cosmos is a common selfish human trait). The hormonal animal urges are so strong in young pubescent humans, that attempts at forcing abstinence, even in “well raised”, “moral” teens, frequently result in unwanted children, abortions, diseases, etc. And it isn’t just teenagers who have such strong desires. The animal and “separate selfish self” drive for sex is so strong, that people are often willing to “trash” the body if that’s the price they have to pay. In fact, it’s so strong that it’s often not even given a second thought. Even though we KNOW the serious risks we’re taking, including nasty diseases and death, many people will go into “denial” mode to have sex. Yet humans are expected to suppress these overwhelming drives. Everyone, whether teen or adult, is faced with our social mores and taboos. And these “restriction rules” are in incredible conflict with the “drives”. The result? The birth of a whole new set of problems we must deal with... repression and denial. As if having super strong animal and selfish drives to deal with isn’t enough, to make matters more complicated, our spiritual side is also inclined towards sexuality. The natural energy sexuality that makes everything in the Universe “go ‘round”. But while it isn’t the animal kind of sexual attraction/urges, it still does involve attraction, energy exchange, and procreation nonetheless. Remember our earlier discussion of the workings of the entire universe? Look out at the stars and planets. They all have “relationships”. All in Harmony and Oneness. One thing orbits another. All attraction based, all giving, all taking, all exchanging energy, all creating new life. Now look at everything you can see or find that is not a star or planet in the universe. Let’s start with furniture. What is that dining table made of? Nothing but space and tiny little micro-cosmic stars and planets we call atoms – planets (electrons), attracted to and orbiting a nucleus (star). Our true
nature in the spiritual realms is no different. That’s what soulmates are all about – polarities of one being, that separated, and oft got lost from each other when we entered this lower vibratory plane of duality and separateness. But… True spiritual sexuality is not just an issue for soulmates, or males and females – it is a matter of a bigger picture of unselfish love, of having higher spiritual relationships with all. That doesn’t mean animal sex. Except for your animal body. In the spiritual realm, sex is not just like animal sex – it is unselfishly loving, and being unselfishly loved. But that’s not where we’re living. Yet, perhaps, that’s where we want to live? So even our spiritual nature wants its version of sex, but in a very different way than the animal. Our spiritual side wants to be ONE again, whole again, to give, to receive, and to constantly exchange higher energies between our polar opposite parts, and all life. But unfortunately, something else comes into that also - our spiritual side’s addiction to the lower kingdom, addiction to selfishly getting energy and stimulation (an aspect of, and result of, our “fall”). That must be dealt with also. Rather than trying to repress & deny the grand design, both for animals and “angels”, we need to figure out how to work with it in a way that really works. It’s just a matter of figuring out where it all fits in, where it all comes from and why, how to best deal with our spiritual/animal “schizophrenia”, and then apply it in our life. As things are now in this world, most people lean towards their animal nature, and tell their spiritual side to “buzz off”. They don’t act like pure animals however. They act like animals with spiritual/animal “schizophrenia” – which is what they are. Most people have varying levels of guilt & fear also, and because of that, exercise varying levels of “control” over their confused and warped animal urges. In more severe cases of guilt, it gets twisted into it being thought of as “sinful” to have sexual urges or participate in such acts. This results in
repression of the urges, or heavy condemnation of others who have sex or even dare to discuss or enjoy it. Ironically, such severe repression and condemnation is the very thing that can contribute towards creating real harm, or even “evil” deeds. Monsters are indeed created in, and can come out of, the repression closet. Try to repress the natural lava flow in a volcano, try to “cap” it, and the lava will either find other ways to come out, or you could end up with a “Mount St. Helens” type explosion. More about that later. Sex and the Single Guilt Why do some of us feel sex is wrong, or feel guilty about it? They are two very different questions, and have very different answers (which we will attempt to clarify in the next several paragraphs). First, feeling that it is wrong. Feeling that sex is “dirty”, sinful or “not spiritual”? There are several reasons for that: 1) How and why we have sex; 2) Our personal experiences and observations of sex and “sexual vibes” regarding others; 3) our programming; 4) Our “inner voice”. All the above go into our overall feeling, outlook, programming, thoughts & actions. Most of us have witnessed selfish, degrading sex, and experienced the results. Selfindulgence is generally self-destructive, and hurts others, as well as being spiritually degenerating. Indulging in one type of selfish self-indulgent behavior, usually stimulates other selfish self-indulgent behaviors. Thus, self indulgent selfish sex, and the behaviors that come with it, keep us further away from our inner spiritual being, and getting back to the harmony of Oneness, and the Universal Spirit. (As a side note, relationships lacking common spiritual ideals, based on sex or selfishness rather than REAL (unselfish) LOVE, will ALWAYS result in living with anger, hate, and/or eventual bitter breakups).
Another reason we feel sex is wrong, is because our own inner being, or spiritual side, tells us that selfish sex is wrong, and that we should be experiencing unselfish sex on the higher spiritual planes instead. More about that in just a bit. But most of us have sex anyway. So it becomes a “now what?” issue. The urges to have sex, both from the pure animal side, and from the self-indulgent “get off” addiction to it that our “consciousness fallen” spirits have developed, are very strong. But why do we feel guilty about it, if we do it anyway, and want to do it? And why do we do it anyway, if we feel guilty about it? It’s enough to make Freud roll over in his grave and use more cocaine! When we do something that we feel or believe is “wrong”, we experience guilt. That’s true whether or not the feeling or belief is coming from our spiritual side, or just programming. Of course, those of us on a spiritual path, allegedly don’t want to do things that are not spiritual, nevertheless, sometimes we do. How we deal with things when we “slip up”, is critical. Most everyone slips up now and then, and the way we react to it makes the difference between learning (spiritual growth), stagnation, or falling. And guilt isn’t one of the healthy reactions. It isn’t healthy or helpful at all. It doesn’t change anything for the better, make things right, or get us “back on track” spiritually. In fact, guilt is a mechanism our selfishseparate-self uses to keep us on a leash, and away from our spiritual self. Guilt is not just a self-generated individual thing with a life of its own. There are “bigger” deeper monsters behind it, and thus greater “core” issues we must deal with. Sexual guilt is deeply rooted in many levels of society, and has virtually become a “major industry”. As we’ve already covered, we are all given guilt “programming”. We are programmed that sex is bad and sinful, without being given a true understanding of the whole issue. And misinterpreting
the feelings from our own spiritual inner voice can compound the problem. That’s even part of where the negative programming came from, and why it started in the first place. Who originated all the programming of guilt and taboos, and why? Part of it is just from the animal/angel conflict – the guilt generated from the reaction of the selfish self, to the inner voice “conscience” of the spiritual self. Thus, all of we “humans” have created negative programming for ourselves, which then contributed to overall social negative programming, which passed all of it on, and on, and on. Next, our weaknesses and programming were further exploited, magnified, corrupted & abused (and continue to be) by people in positions of social power. So additional programming was created by religious or political power mongers, who used our guilt and inner voice to manipulate us. So more “stuff” was thrown into the big pot of negative programming. It didn’t really matter whether the power mongers really believed sex was sinful or not – some did, some didn’t, some didn’t care – (many were having kinky sex in secret). The purpose of making sex a taboo, was often to control people, maintain power, or force their personal beliefs on others (or a combination of the above). “Sexual harassment” is considered a topical subject these days. People are given “ultimatums” to force sex, using threats of various kinds. And it has always been around in various forms. It wasn’t long ago (historically speaking) that someone in power might demand sex, in exchange for not reporting someone as a witch or heretic. Some of those in religious power positions didn’t have such diabolical motives. However, they were still ignorant, and still had the animal/angel conflict within themselves, so they felt guilty about having any sexual feelings (even if they were celibate) and truly believed sex was sinful. But does that justify stoning someone to death, torturing them, or barbecuing them at the stake (unless you’re really hungry and you throw in some mixed veggies)? Then there are those people who just mindlessly pass along their own guilt and shame, both from their own programming, and their own personal feelings of guilt.
To stop it, people need to get to the root of all this - to what’s behind, what’s behind, what’s behind, the thing that’s behind all our “issues” about sex, regardless of what form it takes. And expose it in the light of day. But even putting programming aside, many people still feel or believe that sex is “bad”. Why? And again, how did the taboos start in the first place? A matter of conscience? Internally, our inner voice knows that the sexual act IN AND OF ITSELF, isn’t sinful or “bad”. I hate to beat a dead horse (although it’s better than beating a live one), but the issue keeps coming back to that unique, and quite incompatible, “angel/animal mix” that humans have to cope with. For instance, “pure” animals don’t have a conscience about killing, fighting for food, territory, mates, or having sex. But humans do have a conscience. Have you ever really thought about what a conscience is? Part of what we call our conscience is just social programming - for instance, if you were raised a head-hunter you’d probably have no “pangs of conscience” about killing someone from another tribe for lunch. Whereas the social programming you and I have would make our conscience go crazy (unless you were Ted Bundy or the like). But the other part of our conscience has nothing to do with programming - it is from that “spiritual being” side of us. We all have “a silent inner voice”. It is the voice of our spiritual side – which is also the voice of the One Spirit. When we do something that is opposed to the nature and purposes of our spiritual side, our “conscience” nags us. It lets us know that self-indulgence of any kind is sort of “wrong” in a sense. Not wrong because we are programmed that way, not wrong because some book says it is, not wrong because our parents said it was, not wrong because it is a “sin” by someone’s definition, but simply wrong in the sense that it takes us in the
wrong direction from the spiritual essence of our being, and that One “Great Spirit” that pervades All. I know some people with certain new-age philosophies, don’t like the term “wrong”, and don’t believe in “right or wrong”. That can have to do with mere semantics - i.e., we’re not using the right words to communicate this idea. Or it can come from someone being in denial – and that’s not really our focus in this booklet. So please try and keep an open mind to my point for a moment, so we don’t get hung up in that issue, or a misunderstanding of that issue. Here’s an example: If my goal is to get to the local bookstore, and while trying to get there I turn left at 10th street instead of right, I’ve gone in the “wrong” direction for achieving my goal. It’s the same with the life choices and mental choices we make, but on a much bigger and more serious scale – especially when it involves spirituality. Let’s say your goal is to be an eternal spiritual being ONE with the Universal Spirit, rather than living a temporary life of separateness, illusion and suffering in an animal body. If that’s your goal, then behaving in ways that feed and indulge a separate self, rather than ways that feed the spiritual self, is “wrong”. “Wrong” because it takes us in the opposite direction of our spiritual side and oneness with the Universal Spirit. See what I’m trying to get at here? Our spiritual conscience tries to constantly remind us that keeping our attention on selfish pursuits, and giving energy to/indulging that side of ourselves, keeps our spirit/soul prisoner, and keeps us behaving in ways that create negative effects. And that those negative effects come back to us and further affect us negatively (because of the Universal Law of cause and effect (creating “bad karma”). Getting back to applying that to sex - our silent inner voice nags us, trying to tell us that self-indulgent sex is “wrong”. Our spiritual side wants us to constructively use that inner voice info, and deal with sexuality in a spiritual way. Our separate-self side on the other hand, wants to warp that feeling from the inner voice into feelings of guilt.
If we aren’t practicing some form of spiritual sexuality that leads to transcending the animal and transcending the selfish desires that keep us prisoners of flesh, prisoners on Earth, then our inner voice is always there to nag us (unless we do things to drown it out). The selfish-separate self prefers to make us feel guilty, and keep us under its power, rather than to let us see the issue clearly, and act upon it in a constructive manner. Regarding sexuality, it prefers us to feel that sex is bad, selfish, or “sinful” to some degree or another (even if it’s just subconscious), and feel guilty about it to some degree or another (even if it’s just subconscious). What it doesn’t want, is for us to find a way to make sexuality unselfish and spiritual – a scenario in which it loses control, and our spiritual self gains control. The bottom line is that inside, we know our true nature is that of a spiritual being, and we will always feel wrong about turning our backs on it. We also know that as long as we allow selfishness to keep us from returning to our spiritual state, returning to Oneness with the Universe/Spirit, we create suffering for ourselves and others, and will never truly be happy or have inner peace. But guilt gets us nowhere good. So we need to find positive ways to deal with all our issues, including sexuality. And there are ways. Transcending and transmuting selfish sexuality into a higher vibration spiritual sexuality is the key (in the realm of sexual issues). And unlike the selfish-self would like you to believe, unselfish spiritual sexuality is far more ecstatic, far more fun (in a non-self-indulgent way), than selfish sexuality. Plus, it doesn’t create all the nasty problems that can come with selfish sexuality, or repressing selfish sexuality. People are much happier, healthier, kinder, and more spiritual, if they don’t repress the natural sexual urges, but instead transcend or channel them into the spiritual realms, making them a part of a spiritual life.
Selfishness, The Conflict, Guilt, and Repression Rip Us Apart Look at just some of the problems caused by a guiltbased sexuality, and repressing the natural sexual urges. • Unwanted pregnancy (resulting in unwanted children, abortion, infanticide, etc.) • Children without fathers. • Disease. • Sexual Harassment. • Violence. • Cheating on spouses – which often includes lies, violence, and emotional destruction of families. And when sex is repressed, it’s like putting a lid on a pressure cooker with no release valve. The natural urges try to find expression and release, and if they aren’t channeled in a healthy way, they turn perverse, and the problems can be even worse than mere guilt-based sexuality, such as: • Rape. • Sexual abuse of children. • Bestiality. • Spouse and child beatings. • Torture. • Sexual coercion. Historically, this repressive/guilt approach to sex, made it a religious “evil sin” issue, simply condemning it rather than understanding where it was truly coming from, and dealing with it in a constructive way. So rather than finding ways to heal our internal conflict, it fed societies that would “brand” or kill an adulteress, while some preachers living in their evil deception would be cheating, raping, secretly having sex with prostitutes or those they sexually harass or threaten. And of course, they’d be condemning everyone else. The more repressed or in denial someone is, the more perverse the sexual appetite (usually). I’m not talking about “kinky” necessarily, but truly sick harmful stuff.
People need to understand the real truth about sex, and channel it appropriately for both the animal and angel, rather than operating on negative programming. The Various Methods People Have Used to Cope with the internal SEX struggle Here’s a brief review of the various ways people have tried to deal with our sexual/spiritual dichotomy, and the results of each: 1) Let the separate selfish self run with the animal. This results in spiritual and moral degeneration, lack of compassion and caring about others, and can feed other “animal behaviors” and self-indulgent behaviors that are harmful, dangerous, or just plain inappropriate for “civilization”. 2) Denial. Pretending urges don’t exist can either manifest in repression (and its manifestations), or the opposite - promiscuous behavior (and its manifestations, including “cheating”, disease, “accidental” pregnancy, or worse). 3) Repression. The urges are felt, and are strong, and somewhere down the line, the pressure is too much and finds its way out. It can either find its way out through normal sex, or perversities and violence (see above). 4) Abstinence/Celibacy. If this is truly practiced without repression (not usually the case), it can work, and be part of a spiritual path. But the individual must truly transcend the animal and selfish urges, replacing them with pure unselfish love for all. Unfortunately, some practitioners may create emotional barriers and feelings of “coldness” or distance from others. That’s the result of a “Throwing the baby out with the bathwater” syndrome. In other words, along with cutting off the lower emotions/lusts, the higher emotions and healthy passions get cut off too. To prevent this, constant vigilance is necessary, and the development of compassion/unselfish love for others must be persistently worked on. [Note: If there is repression involved though, see above.] 5) Tantra-tantric Sex. There are many forms of what is called tantra or tantric sex, and they are all different.
Some are constructive, and some are destructive. More about that later, and in the second book in this series (see below). 6) The best soul-ution. “Primal power tantra” tantric sex. This is the form of tantra that we consider the highest form of spiritual sexuality, and what has been traditionally practiced by our order for many thousands of years. We’ll give more details as to why it is the most beneficial form of tantra later, and in the second part of this series of books “Primal Power Tantra”.
The Addiction Factor All these sexual issues/problems don’t just stem from the selfish separate self. We mentioned earlier that the spiritual sides of most “human beings” are also “addicted” in a way, to their animal selves and their separate selfish selves. That means they are also addicted to animal sex. That keeps them a slave to their animal desires, their separate-self desires, and prevents the development & growth of the “higher”, more “evolved” or refined qualities (including our spirituality). That’s why some people have turned to celibacy and other forms of self-discipline. They hope to conquer their addiction to the animal, and animal sex, thus focusing all their energies on the spiritual. But “primal power tantra” tantric sex may be even better for many people. I’ll get to that in a moment. First, since it is very pertinent to spiritual sexuality, let’s examine addictions in general a bit more. Whether they’re hooked on cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sex, or whatever, it is easier for addicts to quit “cold turkey” (stopping completely), than it is to simply exercise moderation in controlling their indulgences. For instance, the standard way to deal with alcoholism, is to never touch the stuff – not even one drink. Because in general, once an alcoholic has that one drink, they lose control and keep drinking. This is true, and the appropriate way to deal with such problems for regular people. Yet while it takes a tremendous amount of self-discipline to do even that, it still indicates a lack of control, a lack of self-discipline to some degree. The addiction still has some control.
Who would you say has conquered their urges and transcended their “lower self” more – a person who has managed to quit their addiction cold turkey, or one who has managed to control themselves and restrict their indulgence to whatever they’ve set for themselves as a reasonable healthy limit? For instance, would a gambling addict who can drop one nickel in a slot machine, and leave it at that (win or lose), have transcended their addiction more than one who must stay out of casinos entirely? Would it not take more selfdiscipline to eat one potato chip, and stop, than to not even open the bag in the first place, or avoid having a bag in the house? It is the same with sex. Anyone who has chosen to transcend their “lower self”, must work on giving their spiritual self total control – and any addiction is an impediment to that. Thus they must eventually develop total self-discipline. Carrying that concept over into sex, which one of the following people has transcended their addiction more? One who has sex, yet has total control over it, and has totally transcended any lower self urges, or one who must totally refrain from sex, and deny the animal body they live in the sex it needs to be healthy? Which person has actually shifted more towards their spiritual nature? What are the earmarks of total transcension and control? It depends on whether you’re male of female. For males, one of the big earmarks is orgasm control. Not just “lasting longer”, but total transcension of it being necessary every time you have sex, and being able to indefinitely delay an orgasm. That doesn’t mean never having one. But it does mean changing from the typical male approach that orgasm is the “whole point of sex”. Can (or would) most men have sex, and not have an orgasm? This is where “primal power tantra” tantric sex comes in – i.e., being able to taste the fruit, without losing control and eating it. Or, as a twist on the old saying, “You can’t eat your cake and have it too”, you will be able to “eat your cake, and still have it”.
“Johnny, men and women are ‘different’ from each other.” No kidding? As we said earlier, males and females are opposite polarities – like the plus and minus poles of electricity and batteries. While both sexes have “sending” and “receptive” poles, and do both send and receive, females are primarily receptive and males are primarily sending. It’s like the different ends of a water pipe. The water goes in one end (receiving it from somewhere), and the water flows out the other end (sending it to somewhere). Yet it is one pipe. And the part that receives the water, must get it from somewhere the place that is sending it. Just as the part that sends it somewhere, must have a receptive place to send it – otherwise you have stagnation or backup. As I was discussing earlier, in humans, the oneness between our inner polarities, have split. Soul-mates are separate from each other. We are no longer one pipe that flows the one water in one direction simultaneously, we are split into a receptive part of the one pipe, and a “sending” part of the one pipe. And the whole pipe is separated from the entire plumbing system (the Universe/Spirit). The Sun and Earth function like the pipe too, but as one. And they’re hooked up to, and one with, the Cosmic plumbing. The Sun is receptive to something. It is orbiting something in the center of this galaxy. Then in its own little realm - this solar system, the Sun is outflowing (sending). The Sun radiates its energy, the Earth is receptive to it, and the two create new life. This again, can be seen in animal life, the human animal, and the human spiritual natures. But with humans, we primarily have the twisted, out-of-polarity versions - which correspond to sexual addiction. The poles are reversed, and are “chasing”, trying to flow the water in the wrong directions. Male and Female Sexual Drives Come From “Different Places” What drives human animal sexual addiction, is different depending on whether it’s coming from the male or female
polarity. It operates deep in the background of the subconscious, so whether you are conscious of it or not, it still plays a role. The female, or receptive aspect, wants to conceive, to nest, to take seed into its fertile soil, create new life, and nurture it. Thus it has its uniquely female sexual urges. The male, wants to “send” in order to create life. It wants to spread its seed everywhere, anywhere, and as much as possible, and thus it has its uniquely male sexual urges. Each needs to understand the other. And when you really do understand that, you also discover keys to a model of sexuality that works best for both sides of our nature, animal, and spiritual. But remember, we aren’t just dealing with natural urges from our animal side, and our spiritual side. The spiritual/angelic side of us has also become addicted to lust/“getting” energy instead of “giving” (giving being its true nature). What a mess. So is there any hope, any real answer to this dilemma? What is obviously needed, is a way to deal with sexuality that keeps the animal happy and healthy, while transcending it, and feeding and strengthening the spiritual side. Males developing control over their animal nature is where primal power tantra tantric sex training must start. As we all know from experience, most males think with their “little head” rather than their big one. It controls their life. Most men are totally preoccupied and obsessed with sex. Also, to most men, the entire point of sex, and often the entire point of a relationship, is to have an orgasm. Females don’t feel the same way at all (not that they don’t want or enjoy orgasms!). One way for both genders to find oneness, harmony, gain spiritual ground, and find happiness for both their animal and spiritual natures, is sexual meditation, or “tantra”. As mentioned earlier, there are many different types of tantric sex, from many different cultures and religions. Some bring spiritual closeness, bliss, and aid the process of
eventually returning to God and our spiritual state, while others are actually selfish and destructive. The various methods will be discussed and examined at length in the “Primal Power Tantra” booklet, and instructions will be given. But for now, let’s just look at what I consider to be the fundamentals of the positive forms of tantra, and what we consider to be the highest spiritual form of tantra, and why. Primal power tantra involves allowing the body to have sex, while mentally and spiritually transcending it, placing the attention/consciousness in the higher emotional and spiritual realms. Even the physical sexual passions and energies are transmuted, drawing them up into the spiritual realms, where they are put to good use. Once mastery is achieved, the individuals are totally transformed, developing new emotional and spiritual sensitivities, new abilities, and achieving oneness with their mates and (if other aspects of a true spiritual path are in place) oneness with the Universal Spirit. This form of spiritual sexuality, is soooooo much more ecstatic and fulfilling than regular sex, and on so many new levels, that going back to regular sex would be like someone with sight, choosing to be blind. Plus, the benefits carry over into regular life – and times when you aren’t having physical intercourse. In fact, the physical act of sex eventually becomes irrelevant, and the feelings of unselfish love, spiritual orgasmic ecstasy, etc., can be experienced whether or not the body is involved. That is after all, the point – to get free from our “trap”, and return to the spiritual realm. No longer needing a body, we are free to fly, to travel anywhere in the Universe with just a thought, to create anything we imagine, to love and be loved for all eternity, to live in light as a being of light, never again to experience the pain, suffering, and loneliness of being in a physical body that is separate from ALL, from the Universe, from the Spirit. Again, the same results can also be achieved with celibacy, when combined with other spiritual practices like meditation, yoga, and other methods of transcending the illusion of separateness. But practicing primal power tantra takes more self-discipline, thus it generally makes for faster
spiritual growth, greater transcension, and has its other benefits. Again, please be careful in your choices about tantra/tantric sex, because there are many different things that are all being called that. Choose something positive, and something that has a tradition. Think carefully, and let your intuition, your silent inner voice, guide you. Then decide for yourself what will bring harmony and spirituality into your life. It is a very important decision. For more details on tantra/tantric-sex, and actual instruction in the training of our traditional style, please read the second booklet in this series (available also via e-book), titled “Primal Power Tantra” (ISBN# 0-9660015-7-5). Also, we have produced music and guided visualization CDs for sex and to help with and enhance tantra (see below).
Products that may interest you: CDs: We have a full line of CDs that are great for sex/tantra. Some are “do it while you listen” instructional/training CDs, and can also be used for a deeper meditative experience, and others create “moods”/exotic erotic atmospheres so you can do things like fantasize you’re having sex at the beach, in the woods, etc. Our guided visualization CDs help you learn or enhance tantra/primal power tantra practice, should you decide to take that route. One CD has classical music in the background (including Ravel’s Bolero – famous for having sex to, and once banned from universities because of it being used “seductively”). The other CD has scientifically created “Vibrational Sounds” in the background, to help induce a deeper subconscious meditative state.
Books: The other booklets in the spiritual sexuality series are also available as e-books. By the time you read this, they should be available for the "PalmReader" format also.
If you are searching for answers that “make sense” regarding questions about life, God, creation, the reason for our existence, what’s coming up, what we can do to improve our lives and the lives of others, and much more, we recommend you visit http://www.atlantis.to [not “.com”]). The book “The Children of the Law of One & the Lost Teachings of Atlantis” is available at most bookstores, but more money stays within our order if you purchase direct from the website or via the toll free number (800-845-7991) Anyone interested in that book, can read free chapters online. Free meditation instruction is also offered online. If you are interested in any of that, Tibetan yoga videos, seminars, “monk for a month” programs, the amazing vibrational sounds & music therapy, or other tools for body-mind-spirit, please see the website.
Contact Info: For the tantra, tantric sex website (tools, guided CDs, music for tantra, seminars, workshops, teacher certification, links, etc.): Website: http://www.at-tantra-tantric-sex.com. Email:
[email protected] For meditation and spiritual growth info and tools: Website: http://www.atlantis.to (not “.com”). Email:
[email protected]. Order line: 800 845-7991 Mailing address only: Windsor-Hill Inc. 7450 W. 52nd Ave. #M241 Arvada, CO 80002
