Sean Messenger Blog Extract[1]

Blog Extract I Was Once 17 and Shy You will not pursue women simply because you want them. You do it for someone else. Do it for a friend to give him confidence. Do it for a buddy on a bet. Or do it for her because she deserves a good guy who can make her laugh and make her come. Do it for someone not you.

My Dream... is very simple. I want you to live a good life. You can be scared, but not afraid. Scared means you're not sure something will work, but you do it anyways because you know the thing that scares you. Afraid means you just can't do anything no matter how bad you want it.

I Am Better than any Pickup Artist... and So Are You The Pickup Artist is just a Bullshit Artist. You are a MAN, and you want something different. Something real. Something BETTER. You want The Greatest Girls, for the Least Work. You don't need a genius. There is nothing wrong with you. If you know where you want to go, you can get there. You can do anything you believe, and all you need is someone to show you the way.

Why Beautiful Women Love Introverts Like You If you're like me, however, you are the kind of guy who would really rather be inside, reading, or somewhere on your own, dreaming and thinking, and if there was a pretty girl there with you, not talking to you too much, and not bugging you when you've got stuff to do, well that would be all right too. An introvert is a person who gathers energy from being alone and doing quiet, solitary things. An extrovert is a person who builds energy from being with other people, talking and mixing it up. Someone who doesn't need to be around other people to have a good time. Someone who knows his own mind, and makes his own decisions regardless of what others think. Someone who is dependable and strong, and can withstand pressure from others when he knows what's right, and doesn't usually give much of a damn what you think, because he does what he wants to do, thank you very much. Oh, and I forgot to mention, because he is expert at thinking and understanding his own feelings, he can solve complex problems and create new things that help the world, and make fortunes and invent cool shit and listen to people when they need someone to share important stuff with, and basically connect with people because they aren't distracted by the buzz of social activity around them. The Introvert is an outcast. The minority. The loner. The rebel.

1

The Introvert is a bad-ass. He does not care what you think. He cares only what is right for him. He is strong. He is confident in his skills. He has a deep understanding of the world, and he loves and understands people for who they really are, and has no trouble calling a stupid fuckhead a stupid fuckhead if that's necessary. The party guy is out talking to everyone, but the Introvert is the one taking it all in, feeling what is really going on. He's not socially awkward, he just doesn't waste time frivolously. He makes his moments count. He is intense, mysterious, passionate and strong. Sean Connery. George Clooney. Michael Jordan. Bruce Lee. Chris Rock. Muhammad Ali. Enrique Iglesias. Brad Pitt. Jay-Z. Batman. Elvis Motherfucking Aron Presley. They are ALL Introverts, right down to the core. They are men with dreams, ambitions, and power. They succeed where others fail because they have vision. They don't go to clubs. They BUILD clubs. They don't make new friends. They choose carefully the friends they keep. And they don't chase women. Women chase them. As an introvert, you are born with an opportunity to build character that extroverts may never have. You can be stronger and more charismatic than the most glib cocktail party conversationalist. You don't have to talk much, because when you do, it matters. It's important. It's something you feel, for real. Extroverted women NEED Introvert men, because they are the only ones that really turn them on. They balance them out. The best, happiest, most charming women are looking for a man just like you. And all you need to do is be able to use your natural abilities to CONNECT with them and let them into this deep, great world you know, and they will do anything to be in it with you. Hot women will flirt with the dude who makes them laugh and tells them funny stories. But they go home and f*$% the life out the man who connects with them emotionally and knows exactly who he is.

Sean Messenger: Better Men, Happier Women "When she says 'just be yourself,' what 2

she really means is please please please God don't be someone else!" There's something crazily accurate about your instincts when it comes to girls. When you trust yourself, it turns out that the girls you want the most are exactly the girls you are supposed to be with, and the ones who most want to be with you, if only you can get out of your own way. And NO ONE else can tell you who that is. Nothing is as important in your life as Getting the Girls You Want, because until you do it, you will carry regret in everything else you do. You have to do it, even if you know it's a mistake. You have to get her, even if you know it will make everything a mess. God knows I did. It just takes Fundamentals, and Experience, and the space between with a guide to show you the way. And that is exactly what you will get today. You need to stand up and demand what you deserve as a man. Do you want great girls? Then damnit, start doing what it takes to get it. It's not enough to just want the girls you want. You have to GET them. The quest to Get the Girls You Want l is not just about feeding your ego, and you know that. It's the quest to be a Better Man. It's the quest to be the Best Man you can be, and live a worthy and joyful life. You have gifts to give, and it's your job to share them. I fucking HATE dates. Why? They are like jokes. They are essentially little lies. She lies to you, you lie to her, and you both try to get off without giving in. I want crazy freaky sex, not memorized conversation at a coffee shop. I want a perma-smile on my face all morning from the blow-job before breakfast (gotten, not given, of course! :). Not a spreadsheet telling me what girl to meet when like a new project.

But words of praise are power. They are what call us to be our better selves. And there is NOTHING as important in learning a new skill as this: Re-inforce the Positive. Whatever it is you do well, focus on it, and keep building that skill. If you focus on what you do badly, you will 3

only do more of the same. 2) Every single day I talk to friends and family about what I do, and they sometimes have trouble understanding. "You teach dudes to scoop chicks? Dude, that's weird." Then I show them a letter. I share with them the real stories, not Bullshit Testimonials collected under duress at the end of 48-hour workshops where you are grouped together and no one dares refuse, but REAL letters that men send to me not just to lick my balls and tell me they taste like ice cream, but because good things actually happen to them. And that is important. 3) I need it. I'll be honest, I don't do this for me. Maybe I do it for my Dad, who went through a horrible divorce when I was 16, and angry at the world, and all I had to offer him was hate when more than anything he needed love. Maybe I do it for my cousin and best friend, who married the first girl he ever went out with, and now gets migraines so bad he goes to the hospital from the sheer stress of a life he has no control over (and this is a guy who once said to me, in all seriousness, "I don't believe in divorce. If things go bad, I might kill her, and then myself, but I'll never get a divorce.") Maybe it's for me, for the memory of every single lonely night I spent when I was a teenager, alone in my basement bedroom, no friends, no light, no fun, just pictures on the wall from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues, and a weight bench on the concrete floor, and Metallica's "Master of Puppets" on the stereo. I was a dark, angry kid, and I looked to the beautiful girls to offer me light.

How to Smile a Natural Smile in 10 Seconds Stand in front of the mirror. Smile at the handsome lad looking back at you. NOW... loosen your jaw, and touch your top teeth to your bottom lip. Got it? 1. Do this exercise in front of the mirror every day for the next 21 days. It takes 21 days to turn an new skill into a habit. Do it now, and you'll never have to think about it again. 4

Fuck Radical Honesty. Try Radical Sincerity But to be totally sincere, that's another thing entirely. Sincerity comes from the emotions and includes empathy. If I'm sincere with you, I am breaking down my wall and taking a chance that you want to break yours down as well. I truly believe the most beautiful thing in the world is a man or a woman who has the courage to be sincere. It is beautiful to live one's life in such a way that one's core being interacts with the world and makes it abundantly clear to everyone that this is a thinking, feeling, conscious and expressive human being. And I know that there is nothing that is more attractive.

Girls Like Shy Guys... They Just Don't Believe They Exist But there's one thing I know about all men, because I know it is true for me. We want to be liked. We want to never have someone tell us "No." We want to want only what we can get, and get exactly what we want. And when we see a girl we really might like, we get... Shy. If there's no danger, if there's no risk, there's no fun. We feel a physical reaction when we see a girl we want. We feel excitement. We even feel a little self-conscious and a little shy, because it matters to us. We want her. We want her so much that if we are willing to risk our pride and take a chance, and that is the highest compliment for her. Remember, as the Girl-WhisperingGenius Hristiyan says in "Celebrate the Pussy," nothing turns a woman on more than knowing that she turns YOU on. The next time you see a girl you want, do something no man has ever done before. Tell her exactly how you feel, and why you are talking to her. Blow her mind by being the man who hides nothing, and reveals to her a world she always wanted. She's been looking for a good man (which is not the same as a nice guy). That good man does things in the face of doubt and fear, not without doubt and fear. You want to make her understand in just 10 seconds that you are the Dream Man, the one who's both strong AND emotional? Just say this. 5

"I know this is a little random, but when I saw you, and I had to meet you. I'm Sean." "Thank you. I'm Kristi." "Nice to meet you. To be honest, I'm feeling a little shy. I don't usually do this." "Really? REALLY?" When you say this, you answer the most important question she has. She knows you have balls because you approached. But she needs to know just one more thing... "Why me?" And the best answer, to steal from Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison in "The Doors," is the simple thought (though maybe unsaid), "because... you're the One." The one for today, for a lifetime, or anything in-between.

Doesn't Getting the Girl Make Me Needy? "Getting" women refers to two things: acting like a man and claiming what you want -which is very important, because no matter HOW attractive you are, the girl you want will not come get you -- you are the man and must claim and choose her; and getting meaning you understand her and understand there is no battle between the sexes, but only a potential life of great sex and love and happiness. 1. Attractiveness requires action. Don't think, meat. You can only hurt the team. Feel what's right for you, and act. You are better off acting and learning from a mistake than never taking a chance at all. You want women? You have to go get them. Doesn't matter how damn attractive you are, they will not simply come to you. And that's because the single most important attractive trait you can have is the ability to GO GET WHAT YOU WANT. Getting her means cutting through the bullshit and excuses that keep you on your ass. You don't actually need to read another e-book. You don't need self-help or medication. These things can help you do more, but only when you do SOMETHING. Getting the girl is about taking action and learning from it. When in doubt, do something. Fuck it up. I fuck up 20 times before breakfast every day, and that's how I learn. 2. Getting her is not the same as chasing her Getting the girl also means UNDERSTANDING her, get it? This isn't about pickup. This is about living with women and filling your life with their amazing energy. You may find 6

one great woman who challenges you for life. I have. But I don't fully get her. I have to open myself up every day to understand her more in order to make myself happy. And then once I understand her more, I understand all women more. I have more energy the world gives me to fuel what I most want to do. The aimless flirting, the joking around, the eye contact, the little moments stolen every day with women all around you, those give you juice. They give you power. Women exist to give or take power. And it's up to you to decide what they do. You can draw strength from her the more you get her, or you can lose your mojo completely if you end up distracted, confused, and hopeless of ever figuring out what the hell it is she wants. She wants what you want. Love. Sex. A good life. The power to choose what is best for her. And again... Sex. Lots and lots of great sheet-shredding Sex. Stop thinking about what it takes to be attractive, because it's a trap. The first thing it requires is you stop thinking about it. How's that for a Zen Koan?

How I Turned the Girl from the Strip Club Into My Girlfriend (and got her to cook me breakfast!) Girls working in clubs are just normal girls, but they are normal girls with ultra-sensitive bullshit detectors, so it takes a stronger man to really get their attention. They all had stories of how they wake up every day with this dream that someday a man will see them, at work, at the gym, at the supermarket, wherever, and just be totally strong and totally sincere with them. These were girls who got paid to create male fantasies, and they were damn good at it. But still they held to their own fantasy, every day, of a man seeing them for who they really were, and having the balls to do something about it. No games, no bullsh**. They were experts at spotting it. But they were all just little girls at heart. When they weren't dressed to kill, they were at home in cushy sweats and playing with their puppies and kittens. They loved to cook and clean, and go shopping at Costco. They were all just little girls stuck acting like hard-edged grown-ups to make a living, and it took a man who was both vulnerable and strong to make them feel the way they 7

really wanted. But the sexiest men are the ones who LIVE their great stories, and keep them quiet until the moment is right. You want to really impress people? Stop worrying about what you are going to tell people, and put your energy into what you DO. Do something heroic and crazy and out-of-character. Hit on a girl you think is out of your league. Talk to that cute girl in Marketing at work. Call up an ex and tell her you just had a wild sex dream about her, and she should come over and bring the whipped cream and handcuffs. Or better yet, make plans to go to a club that has girls you like, and show them who you really are. You want the power, right? You want to be able to walk into any club and spot any girl, even a girl at work, and draw her to you like street magicians draw rubes, right? It is possible. Not only is it possible, it's not a trick, and it doesn't take years of intensive monastic study. It just takes the rock-solid fundamental exercises and knowledge in "Date a Bargirl - Bartenders, Dancers and Waitresses

The Biggest, Baddest Pickup Artist in the World I'm not the world's greatest lover. I'm good. I mean, I'm really good. But just like with martial arts, or football, or ultimate fighting, no matter how bad you think you are, there's always someone badder. And when it comes to women, I'm sure there's someone out there bigger and badder than me. But I will tell you this. When I'm with a girl, and she's into me and I'm into her, ain't NO ONE can take her away unless I let him have her. You learn what women really want so ideally you can 8

seduce the woman you love every single day for the rest of your lives together. What's more romantic than that?

Pickup Lines of the Rich and Famous And I'll tell you, women see through this stuff every single time. You've got to take a chance to get anything good in life. One of them goes out of their way to come talk to you. He greets you with a smile and a handshake, and gets you smiling right away with some genuine appreciation. He talks to you and listen to what you have to say. He understand your real value beyond what anyone else sees. He can relate to your dreams, and you find you even have a lot in common. Of course you know the answer. We are all attracted to people who take a chance to get to know us, and take the time to find ways to appreciate us in ways that most people don't really get. We want to be valued, understood, and feel there's a reason why certain people are in our lives. We do not want to be taken at face value, treated like just an object, and left feeling like we don't even deserve the common courtesy of a real conversation. So what makes us different than the hottie at the bar? Nothing. Despite what some may try to tell you, we are all, men and women, basically the same at heart. We are attracted to people who take a real risk to get to know us, and we do not have time for those that don't make any effort.

Girls Like Needy Guys Fuck it! Be needy! Sometimes you NEED to know what time it is. Sometimes you NEED directions. You make the mistake of thinking people are thinking about you. They are NOT. You do not exist until you make yourself exist. You are one hand clapping. You are a mirage. You are Harvey the Rabbit. You are quiet as a stone and just as anonymous. It sounds stupid, I know, but the man who is bold enough to ask for even the simplest 9

thing is confident. Girls HATE self-reliant men who never ask for anything. Hate hate hate. They don't understand them and they will not suck their balls. So keep that in mind. You talk to women because it makes you feel good. You give her a compliment to light her up because it gives you a charge like a 9-volt battery right up the ass. You do it not for her... BUT FOR YOU. 1. See girl 2. Talk to girl 3. Date girl Want to be a ladies' man? Always treat her with respect. Always protect her honor and her rep. The world will judge her for everything you do. If you let her be seen as a slut in public, you will get nothing. But if you can protect her from the unfair judgement of others, she can show you the world. Let's keep it classy, San Diego. This is about women, not scorekeeping. And if you are keeping score, well, you already lost, Champ. You take the high score. I'll keep the great girls.

Weekend of Women Challenge from the UCP 1. Download the "Direct Game Made Easy... Sincerely" podclass here: http://seanmessenger.podbean.com/direct-game-made-easy-sincerely-podclass/ (FREE FOR UCP MEMBERS) If you've listened to it before, listen to it again. Listen to the lines I use. Listen to the tone. Feel the emotion conveyed when a person sincerely expresses interest in another. You don't need to impress her with anything other than your COMMITMENT to see if you and her can enjoy each other. She is lucky to have a chance with you. Now you are going to give her that chance. 2. Time to make your list. This is one of the most important things you can do. Write down all the characteristics you look for in a woman. There will be some things you know from women in your past, some you've only dreamed of, and some that don't even make any sense. That's OK. Just write free-form first; you can always edit later. List all the things you want in a woman, and then make a second column, and list just 5 things that are deal-breakers for you. It's important to know what you want, and equally 10

important to know what you cannot compromise. Your list is for you. We all have standards for ourselves, and if we bend on the really important stuff, we betray our hearts. Be honest. You do not have to post this publicly, but it is imperative you write it out for yourself. Here's a sample list: LOVE-MAKERS * Great smile * Sexy walk * Laughs easily * Dog person * Likes to workout * Full lips * Olive or darker skin * Likes to read * Sings badly and loudly in the car * Has close friends who love her to death * Keeps her house clean... relatively * Thinks Brad Pitt is understandably pussywhipped

DEAL-BREAKERS * Owns a cat * Does coke * Doesn't like to travel * Doesn't enjoy good food * Racist

Make your list as detailed as possible. Write it for yourself and print it out, then put that printout in your pocket and carry it with you all weekend. Put your list here on the forum so you can check back on Monday. 3. Time to pull it all together. This weekend you have a very specific assignment. There are no excuses. There is no backing down. This is what you were born to do. This weekend, you are going to see, and approach 5 girls who catch your eye and match 11

some of the traits on your list. Your mission is to approach them sincerely, and do whatever it takes to find out how many of the things on your list she has, and if she fits any deal-breakers. You know what you are looking for. You know what is cool about you. You know what you love and why you are a good man who a woman would be lucky to have. Now it's time to start finding out who deserves you. You aren't interviewing... you are connecting. You are fishing to see what hits. When you see the girl who sparks your interest, chase her down. No delay, no excuses. If you have to run after her on a busy street, all the better. Then give yourself just 3 minutes (that's all it takes) to look at her in the eye, and find out a bit about who she really is. You are interested in her. You do think there's something there. But your standards are high, and you are not embarrassed about that.

This VDay Stop a Hottie With Your Body When you see a girl that attracts you, make meeting her the the priority of your day. Don't worry about how you are going to stop her, what your body language is like, or any details like that. Don't be thrown by any excuses (she's on a cell phone, wearing an iPod, walking away down the street). Just make this real -- stopping and talking to you for 30 seconds is the most important thing in her day. You giving her a chance to meet a confident, sexy man is the most important thing in her day. And in yours. All across the universe, women respond to decisiveness and confidence more than anything else -- more than money, looks, fame, or nice cars. "Excuse me, I just had to tell you that you are the prettiest girl I've seen all day, and there's a law that says I have to tell you that." She smiled, and he continued, "Really, I have no choice. It's a federal law." If you're unsure how to stop her, just imagine the following. If your car was on fire, and you needed to stop someone to get help, how would you do it? Your BODY knows this already. There's no trick to it. Just follow those instincts and experience. You will have all sorts of questions and doubts and conditions running through your 12

mind, and all sorts of reasons not to do it. My personal favorite is "I don't have the time right now." So make it simple for yourself. You are taking 30 seconds out of your day to see if this cutie is a good fit for you, no more, no less. You can always afford 30 seconds, right? Let her move away from you. Wait just a second. If it's a store, let her go. If it's a street, let her keep walking. Wait just long enough that you think you may have lost her, and then chase her down. Get it in your head that you are on a mission to find and meet this girl. Make her your Girl of the Day, the one you just have to meet no matter what the situation. The more you have to pursue, the more real it will feel when you finally catch up to her, and the more sincere and confident you will be when you catch up to her and say, "I know this is a bit random, but I had to meet you." Now get out there, chase 'er down, and make that girl smile. You may just make yourself smile in the process.

The Best Place to Find the Best Girls (and it's not bars, clubs, or god help us, online!) upscale department store on a Sunday the shoe department at a Macy's, or the line at your local Starbucks. Women want to meet you as they go about their lives. They do not want to meet you in bars. It's that simple, and anyone who says different is just selling something OTHER than a real understanding of women. I know guys who never bother going into bars, because they know it's easier to get a woman home in 10 minutes from a bookstore than a bar. Here's one very simple change I made that forced me to express appreciation for every woman I talk to. It's not even at the level of obvious interest, but it announces that I am a flirty guy who loves women and notices something sexy about her. I call EVERY woman "darlin." All of em. Grandmothers, teenagers, hotties, plain janes, co-workers, all of em. It's just a little verbal tic now, and I def. say it with a southern drawl, but it's there, and when I say it I FEEL how women react, like their eyes open up wide, and I can feel them really noticing me. I've never had anyone ask me why I said that. I've never had anyone say it's weird. I've only had good reactions. And more importantly, it has changed me. Now I naturally see every woman as potentially a beautiful, sexy woman, and I know she knows it as well. Try it the next time you are at Starbucks. When the cute barista asks you how you are 13

doing today, sir? as she must do, change up your answer. Don't grumble out "urgh... fine... coffee... tired." Look at her. Look in her eyes. Smile, and say, "I'm doing much better now, darlin'. How bout you?" You have a gift. Your smile and your appreciation of beautiful women sets you apart from most men. So stop hiding it and start expressing it, and they will give back to you. The more you give, the more you receive. And that's not just holiday shopping PR. The man who can flirt with grandmothers and make their day will get more hot young chicks than anyone else. My favorite part of "The Game" was when Neil described how Erik went to a family dinner one night all down, but then at dinner turned on his whole Mystery act and charmed the grandmother, the kid sister, everyone. Everyone I know who is good with women can do that. Now THAT is the power of being a ladies' man.

Pickup is a Numbers Game, and the Numbers are in Your Favor It is a numbers game. You are learning from the women you meet which ones are more likely to be into it... and the only way to learn is experience. No one, and I mean NO ONE, attracts every woman he talks to. It's a dangerous fallacy to think that you can get dates with a certain percentage of women if you get good enough. It's like fishing. You don't count how many times you cast. You only count the fish.

Normal-Bold-Normal Normal. Bold. Normal. Take one part totally normal behavior, follow it with some spicy Boldness, and then finish with a little more Normal to finish the dish. Allow me to demonstrate. If you see a gorgeous woman walking on the street, it's a totally bold and ballsy thing to run up to her and tell her that she's the prettiest girl you've seen all day. It's also a bit 14

lunatic. Why? No normal guy would do that. And we are all very very very hard-wired to auto-scan strangers for "NORMAL" before we do anything else when we are out in the world. So what do to? Easy. Follow the recipe. Remember, the first ingredient is Normal. You see her. You know it's gonna take some Bold to get her. But first you've got to get things started with... "excuse me, I hate to interrupt you, but..." There's your normal. Friendly chap out for a walk politely interrupts a young lady. Nothing scary about that, eh? Now comes the spice. As soon as you have read her scan and know she's thinking, "normal... ok, now what does he want?," that's when you hit her with Bold. "You are the prettiest girl I've seen all day. And I had to tell you, for you see, it's a law. It's a federal law. It's not just a state or local thing." Now you've got her smiling. It's like a well-timed joke. You set her up for one thing, and then present her with a pleasant surprise. The incongruity of your second sentence compared to what she's expecting is what makes her smile. We smile when surprised. We smile more when we like the surprise. "Now that we've got that legal business out of the way, we can talk properly. I'm Sean." Normal. Bold. Normal.

How to Make Out with Nothing More than Words of Wisdom on Your Side Women love power. Knowledge is power. And knowledge of sex is the power-iest power there is.

I told her that the foreplay should begin on the first interaction or on the second that a guy picks her up on the first date. I then elaborated and said that the sexual tension should build to a point where the woman cannot bear it any longer. Once this is achieved, the actual intercourse should be short lived, because the woman had already 15

been seduced to the breaking point.

You Think You Have it Bad? This is How Much Worse it is to Be a Woman My friend Johnny told me something very wise. He said if you help someone who doesn't ask for your help, they resent you for it. I'll go one step further. With men, even if we ask you for help, we resent you for giving it. it's a trap. We are insane, I know, but we're the best bet you've got, because dating women is even MORE insane. We are turned off by women who NEED us more than they WANT us.

Something Gave Me a Giant Boner this Morning... But what if you want genuinely beautiful (inside and out), intelligent, and evolved women in your life? Women who make your life HAPPIER! SWEETER! SEXIER! In order to attract magnificent women, you must become magnificent yourself. You've got to let go of being an incomplete man, snuffling with need, armored with bravado... And rise into being a more Complete Attractor. In essence... You must become a gift to women. Your humor, your insight, your self-awareness not only makes you shimmer in front of them as a real man... ... you actually FEEL it inside. That's what it means to be a "Superior Man," to Be The Ride for a woman, and to live life at full throttle.

16

Breaking News! Women Don't Want to Get Serious Right Away! NO SANE WOMAN wants a serious relationship after just a couple of dates. Sure, they may say they do, but they are lying. She doesn't know anything about you yet. And hell, you don't know anything about her. Think of it this way... if she was completely awesome in every way, but you had a busy life of your own and things to do, and really only wanted to see her once a week or so because you knew that way it would always be fun and sexy and you could still live your life, but she INSISTED that you get together every night right away, wouldn't some part of you be thinking... "why is she so needy?" Take your time, man. She's not going anywhere. You're not going off to war. You're not, are you? Enjoy each other. You're always better off starting every relationship casual and putting more effort into less time together. There's an inverse relationship between time spent together and total heat generated. If you are with her every day, it will burn out. If there's something there, it will happen naturally. You can't force it any more than you can force the ocean to hand you a great wave. You just have to wait and enjoy the rides along the way. She's the ride in this metaphor, BTW.

Last-Minute Resistance The Community created Last-Minute Resistance. This phenomenon is not supposed to exist. Seduction in its natural state is about two people turning each other on more and more, and sensing they can trust each other more and more until it feels right to couple real emotional intimacy with physical intimacy. Sometimes it happens in a few minutes. Sometimes a few days. When you learn who you are, and you learn to express it to yourself, and others from your real core strength, not from pretend bravado, women want to open up to you. You want the solution to your girlfriend's jealousy? Be real with her. Open up to her. But first you have to open up to yourself.

17

We men have it all fucked up. We think there's something useful about hiding emotions and keeping our guard up... like the woman will then know, "oh, he wants to date other girls." Remember, sex is a RISK for women. A serious, heavy risk. What's the upside for them? Pregnancy. STDs. Stalkers. Never talking to you again. You telling everyone you know that she's a slut who gave it up easy. Understand a little better now? For women, sex is like laying down $10,000 to win $100. It's a bad bet... UNLESS they know they can trust you. Or unless they are incredibly, incredibly drunk. The first case makes you a man. The second case makes you a date rapist. Choose which one you want.

Every Girl's Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man "Clothes don't make the man, they reveal him" Do you have a set of 'power clothes' that seems to work when you go out more often than any other outfit? There's probably a reason for that... part of it admitedly is you feel confident wearing them... but what else? the ones that worked well had the right measurements. So... what did I learn? - haircut matters - close shaves are helpful - breath mints or brush your teeth before dancing always, - use deodorant especially if you're doing swing or salsa and you're going to turn her under your arms... - make sure your shoes fit right and they're polished/clean. - don't try to dance in treaded soles, use flat leather only (better for your knees because they will slip/spin correctly). (per Debbie at gentleman's wearhouse.) - get measured for your shirts (neck/sleeve length) - shirts are not sold by belly shape. - get measured for your pants (waist/inseam) - fix anything that's not right. - wear the shoes you're going to wear with the pants when you get measured. 18

- match your socks to your pants - they're an extension of your pants. - match your belt to your shoes - learn how to match shirt/pant/accessory colors - don't mix up your shoes - keep the really fancy leather for the suits and the basic leather for casual wear. (Advice I got from a girl.) - solid color shirts look good. (Common Sense.) - get a money clip and leave the wallet at home when you can - dump the change from your pockets and reduce the keys you're carrying... they make your pockets look funny if you've got 'em puffed out.

Alyssa Milano and the No-Look Pass I walk in and move immediately across the bar to start with my favorite move... locate girls at bar and ask them if I can get in to get a drink. See lone hottie sitting at bar with bag next to her. Start talking. Move bag. Sit down. Flirt back and forth. I tell her why I moved here, how after losing the girl that I thought was the one I knew I needed to go live life as fully as I can. She tells me about her family. We don't talk much, or that deep, but it feels like more. I keep her next to me. Tell her she has amazing lips, and that our first kiss will be a great one. She says "you are so confident..." and smiles. Ask her her favorite body part, and she says her ass is world-class. I spin her around to check, feel, and confirm, and remind her "it's nice, but not quite as nice as mine." She smiles, I lean in and sniff her neck, whispering how she smells delicious, and nibbling her neck.I tell her why I moved here, how after losing the girl that I thought was the one I knew I needed to go live life as fully as I can. She tells me about her family. We don't talk much, or that deep, but it feels like more. I go back to front of bar and chat up everyone I can find. Practice talking to groups with guys in them by walking up to guys and girls and saying to him "dude, i know you know this, but this girl is trouble." Then turn to girl and say "yeah you... you were supposed to watch out for me tonight, and then those two midget 19

strippers were all over me, and where were you?" Lessons learned: Always be on point with everyone. Seduce the room and the ones you really want will just end up with you. Keep your head up and keep at it, because when it's working, nothing can stop it. And use every other guy as just another ally to make it clear that you, and only you, are the best man for her.

The Perfect Kiss Test I want you to think back to the movie "The 40-Year Old Virgin." I caught it on cable last night, and had forgotten what a great, sweet date movie it is. What's really sweet about it is how it shows the woman in the relationship needs her man to want her, and to be sexual with her, and when he doesn't, well, she doesn't think it's nice, or chivalrous, or kind or gentlemanly or anything like that. No, when she finally snaps and can't figure out why he hasn't made a move on her, you remember what she says? "Are you going to kill me?" She's so confused by his refusal to act like a man and act on his desire for her that she can only assume he's a creepy killer.

It took me years to figure out that you are always better off making a move, always better off going for the kiss, inviting her in, getting into her house, as long as you do it smooth, with a pure heart, and the best intent for fun and sexy time. Next time you are with her at your door, or her door, and you both know it's that "is it the end of the night?" moment, just stop. Smile. Look in her eyes, and say, "I'm thirsty. Are you thirsty? Let's go inside and get a glass of water. The water here is just amazing." Smile some more, so she knows you are just talking smack about the water, and lead her by the hand. 20

All it takes to be together is a strong move, made gently. Make it easy and fun for her to be alone with you, and she will not only want it, she will do it. And then neither of you has to end a great night thinking, "too bad this couldn't keep going all night."

5 Steps to Get Any Girl: The Action Movie Moment How Does it Work? Wrong. Women don't respond to confidence. They respond to COURAGE. Courage is the ability to act in the face of fear, and the more fear you feel, the more courageous the action. Here are the path to courage. Here are the steps of the Action Movie Moment. 1. Find a girl you know you need to meet. There's a simple test for it. If you see her, and say to yourself, "fuck!", that's a sign you need to meet her. This can be anywhere, any time. That's the beauty of the Action Movie Moment. All you need to make it work in terms of logistics is you and a a girl. That's it. It's your Movie. The rest is just background.

2. Once you find her,fixate on her. Focus on how attracted you are to her, and how much you want her to like you. Let yourself feel nervous. This is the opposite of most pickup approaches, where you want to relax your body first. But nervousness is not a bad thing. Nervousness is simply energy coursing through your body. You are nervous before kickoff of a football game. You are nervous when the roller-coaster finishes its final "tick" up the track to the pinnacle of the ride. And you are nervous here. Feel it strong. Be righteously nervous, and this will be your fuel. Build the tension. Imagine how it will feel to talk to her. Let yourself feel the eyes of the world on you. You should feel like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart being wheeled into the gallows with the eyes of the town upon him, defenseless but certain. 3. Now that you are feeling it in your entire body and are coiled for fight or flight... let her go. That's right. Let her go. If she's walking, let her walk past. If she's standing still, walk right by her. Pass on by like a ghost, no contact, no glance, no nothing. Just let her go completely. 21

You feel that? Close your eyes right now and imagine what it feels like to see a girl you know you need to meet, you need just 10 seconds with, and suddenly the universe conspires to take her from you. Imagine your eyes meeting from across the distance between two trains, and just as you look, your trains pull away to opposite ends of the earth. Imagine seeing the woman you've been looking for in your dreams, and losing her in the crowd, forever, back to the wistful world of your dreams. Think of this as you watch her walk away. Let her turn the corner. Let her disappear like you let all those other girls disappear... your first crush, that girl you never talked to at work, the waitress at the diner who gave you a free drink for no reason, and smiled as you said NOTHING... you feel it now. 4. Now go GET HER. Now is your moment. Bust ass. Knock down old ladies, kick carriages in the street, elbow a little girl to the ground. You do whatever it takes to find her, get it? She goes in a store, you go in a store. She goes on a train, you get on the train. She goes into a ladies room... fuck it! You go in the ladies room. Remember, the more fear built into the situation, the more courage you display in acting in spite of it. This is as bold as you will ever be. You catch up to her, and you are, finally, for one moment, a goddamn movie star. Now you've caught her, what to say? 5. Walk right up to her and stand directly in front of her. You should be quiet, calm, and almost shy. No cocky. No funny. Wait till she looks at you, and then let the words come. It's best if you really reach for them. It cannot be a script. Something honest and simple like, "I saw you pass by, and I had to run through traffic to catch up to you to tell you... you are amazing. I'm Sean." Lay it out there, man. Don't hide it. Tell her how important it was to meet her. Tell her why. What is it about her that made her more important, for one moment, than anything else? It's critical that you are humble and genuine with this. 22

Then you introduce yourself, and start talking. Start listening. Whatever you do, do NOT get funny and entertaining. You want her to feel the tension of the moment and for it to build. Now you just need to talk like a normal person. Tell each other where you are from. Where you went to school. What you like to do for fun. You just want her to get a sense now that in addition to being an intense, ultra-confident, heroic man, you are also a normal, calm, real person. If you do it right, you just need to tell her when you'll see her again and then take her number. She will be so amazed and confused and smitten that it won't even be an issue. So there's the challenge, and the instructions. Once a week, find a girl by herself somewhere quiet, and give her the moment she's been waiting for her whole life. Find out what great things you are capable of.

From Stu to Stud You look around and see women walking around all day in these painful high-heels, wearing skirts and outfitst that cost thousands and took days to put together, not to mention the hair and makeup and time at the gym and waking up at 5 AM just to get ready for the day. She can't possibly WANT you to look, right? She couldn't be hoping, maybe, that today is the day a good guy actually talks to her and shows a real interest in who she is? I mean, she's not fed up with all the jerks and the mooks and the idiots sneaking glances as she walks by and never saying a thing. they want a good guy who knows how to make them feel good.

She Wants Me I still deal with this. I miss all kinds of signals that women are sending me that tells me they are interested. I do too much goofy shit instead of just being myself and relaxing. I wait too long to go for the kiss, too long to come back to my place, and basically just have to fight the idea that "there's no way a cute girl can like me." This despite a goodly amount of evidence to the contrary. :-) 23

But it does change with action, as do all habits. The more you start to act as if cute girls like you, the more you start to develop that as your first instinct. Whenever I walk past an attractive woman, I smile and say to myself, "she wants me." Not in a lecherous, pandering way, but in a fun, "if only she knew..." way. I mean, I am a great catch. I'm a professional sexyman, for god's sake! Women settle for men way worse than me every day. So a baseline belief, it makes far more sense for me to have the instinctive reaction of "she wants me," instead of "there's no way she can want me." Try it today, and see if it doesn't make you feel better. It's like you now have a secret you haven't yet shared with the women around you... but you may.

We Must Labor to be Beautiful You learned something very valuable. Girls are 100x MORE insecure than guys are. Take all your feelings about maybe not being good enough, or cool enough, or attractive enough. Now imagine you live in a place where those things matter far more than how smart you are, or how resourceful you are. In fact, being smart sometimes actually gets you in trouble. No one takes you seriously. And everyone thinks you are dumb and can't take care of shit yourself.

Ten Commandments of Style How much do you spend per year on style? If you're like some guys, maybe as much change as you find mixed in with the gnarly old cheetos between your couch cushions. See, most men have NO idea how hard women work, and how much money they spend, on looking good to get men. Even worse, you may have no idea how your own style is getting in the way of you getting laid. If you don't look good, you don't get the girl. And you can look good if you know what mistakes to skip. Today we have a treat sweeter than sugar. 24

A real interview with a real fashion guru. Our guru comes from a fashion family. She's a student of style, and a personal shopper for men looking to make their look turn heads and turn women on. And just for today, she's setting aside her usual $100-per-hour fee to help you for free. (Well, not totally for free. She just happens to be dating one of my coaches, and he managed to use some of them thar flirtin' skills to sweet-talk her into it.) She's been talking to her girlfriends, and they just can't take it any more, guys. They see guys all the time who they'd give a chance, until they catch him making a gigantor mistake with his look. So today, we come to you to bring the Ten Commandments of Cool Dude style. Break any of these Commandments, and you are cast out forever from paradise. In case you were wondering, paradise is where the women are. So let's get to church. Ready to follow along? Then let's get to it, fashion guru! The Ten Commandments: 1. Thou shalt not be ungroomed. Hair, sideburns, beard, goatee, stache, whatever. Got hair on your body, keep it under control. Don't get lazy and let the fur grow caveman-style. Cavemen don't get hotties. 2. Thou shalt not wear clothes that don't fit. There's a reason clothes come in many sizes, guys. It's so you can buy the ones that actually fit you. Women notice an M wearing XL, and they ain't going home with him. 3. Thou shalt not wear crappy shoes. Shoes tell women 25

everything they need to know about you. Smelly sneakers, sandals with socks, and gore-tex hiking boots do not get into the hottie's sheets. 4. Thou shalt not pull pants up to your nipples. Your grandpa needs to keep his pants that high. You, my friend, have a waist. Find it and use it. 5. Thou shalt not dress in the dark. Before you leave the house, look in a frickin' mirror. If you see a dork standing there, make him go change into something presentable. 6. Thou shalt not wear clothes that were cool when "Living La Vida Loca" was a hit. Just because your "Thriller" jacket got you looks in '85, that's no reason to rock it now. 7. Thou shalt not bathe in cologne. We know you love your Old Spice, but less is more, cowboy. 8. Thou shalt not wear glasses that make you look like a chemistry teacher. Even if you are a chemistry teacher, you can get frames that actually look good on you. They do make them, you know. Just ask. 9. Thou shalt not follow trends blindly. See everyone in the bar wearing striped shirts? Do something different. Get the gear that goes with you. You have to stand out, not blend in. 10. Thou shalt not wear fleece. You are a man, not a sheep. So stop wearing big billowing soft stuff that makes you look like you should be chased by a border collie. If it's cold, get a real coat. That's it. Anything sound familiar?

One Night Stands Make You WORSE With Women The one-night stand is the bullshit nirvana of pickup. 26

Here's the problem with it. Guys who have one-night stands consistently CANNOT have girlfriends they really like, or girlfriends who take care of them. Matter of fact, the more "successful" they get with women for one-night stands, the more they start to disrespect and even despise women. They can't ever imagine being with one woman because they know that the women they get fell for their game, which means they could fall for someone else's game as well. That's fucked up shit. I'm not an ethicist. But I am a pragmatist. And I'll tell you from my own experience with more than enough one night stands, and more than enough girlfriends, what you really want for yourself, if you are sincere in your intent to get good with women and live a happier life, is not the one-nighters. You want great, kick-ass girlfriends. You need to connect with girls you like emotionally before you get to fucking, and it's not that hard. Take your time and enjoy her. Learn what makes her happy, what makes her feel good. Kiss her neck slowly. Don't be in a hurry to get to the pussy. Talk to her. Let her talk to you. And most important, look her in the eyes when you kiss her. Not the entire time (that would be very very weird), but at some point when you are locked in a kiss, look at her and let yourself feel who she is. Eye contact intensifies sexual pleasure more than almost anything else because it forces you to appreciate the other person. Sex is a gift. Treat it as such. You get no credit for one-night stands and no real pleasure from it (conquest and challenge? blah. may as well just jerk off and save some time... you learned nothing that will help you in relationships). Give yourself a new rule. You may only sleep with a girl if you plan on sleeping with her more than once. This will make you be more selective and focus only on girls you feel some rapport and connection with, and you'll find the sex will be much, much, much better. Girls get way freakier with guys they actually like and trust. With the one-night stand, you're getting just 10% of the potential. Like Chris Rock said, "Women have to ration out the pussy. They want the men to think they have a good woman but they don't want him to think he got a freak. So they gotta ration out the pussy. Ok I'm gonna fuck him now but I'm not gonna suck his dick for 2 weeks. Alright I'm gonna suck his dick now, but I'm not gonna lick his balls till next month. Ok I licked his 27

balls but I'm not gonna lick his ass till next year." P.S. Why Giada? To quote the sage Kevin Smith from "Clerks"... "there are a million fine lookin' women in the world, but not all of them will bring you lasagna at work. most of them just cheat on you."

Should I Continue This Long Distance Relationship AND Give Her Family Money? I'm a nice guy too. Well, I used to be. Then one day I realized I'm not a nice guy. I'm a good guy. I'll pick you up at the airport. I'll give you my extra ticket to the ballgame. Hell, if you're my friend, I'll help you bury a body. But I'm NOT the kind of guy who gives up everything for a girl... money, home, friends. No man should be allowed to settle down with just one girl until he has spent a month in Brazil. It oughta be a law.

She Only Goes Out With Assholes When I was pretending I was a nice guy (again, not really... I would stare for hours at porn that would get me sent immediately to special confession at the Vatican if the church ever found out... and that's what made it great. I'm remembering now one scence with three girls in nun's habits and a, er... device... god bless the Catholic Church for making erotica so much more creative!), I was determined to NOT be like the assholes around me. I wasn't gonna drink with her at a party. How stupid. I wasn't gonna grab her and put her in a headlock. How juvenile. I certainly wasn't going to tease her and make fun of her like a little kid. How immature. And all it took was those things to make sure I never had ANY fun with her, and never gave her ANY good feelings. I was so serious, and so sincere, and so fucking dull and epxressionless and dead and apologetic just for being I can understand why no one wanted to be around me. You gotta break that, man. First step is to just fucking have FUN with her. Stop worrying about saying the right thing. She's not listeining to you anyways. Don't say the right thing. Say Anything. Say anything that makes you laugh. Watch Jackass with her. Make fart jokes. Tickle her. Let the fun, little kid side of you come out. That's what she wants. 28

Too Much Talkie Talkie, Not Enough Sweet Love Makie Makie to become the LOVER that every beautiful woman wants, you don't need slick words.

This is the Best Flirt I Know [picture of a little asian girl of 3or4 years old] She's a little young, I know. But this little girl here is better at getting people to love her than anyone I've ever met. And yes, she is in fact a super-genius, but that's not the source of her freakish charm. See, she is shameless and loving and open-eyed and pretty much stoked on everything. She's alive and joyous and funny and dances with wild abandon and remarkable skillz for an Asian-American. And that gives her grace and charm. And if you had to learn how to be yourself from anyone, you could do a lot worse than to spend some time with a child, or with a photo of yourself when you were young, and see if you can find who is really there. That's what's attractive about you. It was there when you were tiny... now you've got to keep after it and find it again. Your unca loves you, Mina bear!

Sandbagging In golf, there's a concept called "sandbagging." You let the people you are playing with think you are a little worse than you really are. It's not cheating... just not total disclosure. This way, their expectations of you are lowered just a bit (but not too much), and you get the advantage of suprise when they discover you kinda know what you are doing. When I deal with people, whether it's flirting with girls, teaching guys, or negotiating sales, I'm always sandbagging just a bit. I let them think I'm NOTHING BUT a big goofy guy with an easy grin. I'll thicken up my drawl a bit. Shuffle my feet a tad. Look a little vacant and do silly things like forget to press the button in the elevator. But then when it gets to the important stuff, the stuff where we need to know who the other person really is (the sale, the lesson, the first night), the real me is waiting. I'm smart. I'm sharp. I pay attention. I feel things deeply and intuitively. I get it.

Guys Are F*cking Liars Remember how it felt to not have control or choice with women. And remember how it felt when it seemed someone so much dumber than you did, and 29

how angry that made you. Now breathe deep. Then make sure you exhale. Ok, got it? Now listen. Guys are jerks. Guys are really jerks to other guys who they see as threats, or who they see as moving past them on the social scale. This is ALL born of insecurity. A truly cool guy, which you are, does not concern himself with gambits to keep other men low in the social scale, becuase he knows that cool is NOT a zero-sum game. It's an infinite resource. Empathy is a great communication tool, and also the best way to neutralize someone who is being mean to you. Be strong and totally emotionally unaffected by his silly, low-level attack. Just let yourself feel you natural reaction and let it pass. Then look him in the eye and say, without a hint of sarcasm, "wow. I can really feel how threatened you feel now, and I totally understand how sometimes you feel you need to strike out like that. It's cool, man. You just do whatever you need to do, ok?" Then walk away. And just keep in mind one more thing about jerks. There's something you don't know about their success with the ladies. They. Are. LYING. Every single one of them. "Girls? Hell, man, it's just like sales. No matter how good you get, it's still a numbers game. You are going to miss more than you hit. But there's no penalty for swinging and missing." So keep that in mind. But just because he's a jerk doesn't mean you need to be. Be stronger. Keep smiling. And simply cut him out of your life in whatever ways you can.

What Do You Want? 30

"what do I want?" But the trick to the question is that it's not asking for now and forver. The question asks only what is in your heart now, what do you want now? Maybe you've seen it. Field of Dreams. There's a great scene where the hero takes a famous author to a baseball game, and stops him on their way in to ask, "what do you want?" He starts a soliloquy about wanting to be left in peace, and how his readers need to figure things out for themselves, and how he doesn't have all the answers so he wishes people would stop asking. The hero then motions to the side, and points at the hot-dog stand next to him, and says, "no, I meant, what do you WANT?" "Oh. Dog and a beer." See, sometimes it is that simple. Sometimes the question is only as deep as you want it to be. What do you want today? What do you want now? If you could have anything today, what would it be? If you could have any girl, what would she look like? If you could have any relationship, how would it work? What would you do for work? How would you spend your day? Hell, start with the easy stuff. What do you want for dinner? Think about it. Why do you want women? And what do you really want from them? It's a simple question, but you may never have stopped to ask yourself. So stop what you are doing right now, and ask. Just let the answer come. What kind of women do you really like? What turns you on? What catches your attention about a girl? We all know there are "T" men, and there are "A" men, but sexy runs deeper than that. Ask yourself, what small thing do you look for? Now you have an idea who you want. Now ask yourself, what do you want from them? You can have anything you ask for, but only if you ask. Do you want just one girlfriend? Do you want to date and have fun experiences? Do you want relationships where you get 31

the freedom to do what you want?

Are You on a One-Way Train to Creepyville? Every hottie has had a stalker. I've been stalked. And it was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. It just makes you feel like anything bad can happen at ANY TIME. Women need to filter out creepy guys not because they want the best husbands or the coolest dude or the richest Richie Rich in town. They do it to save their lives. And that, my friend, is why you NEED to learn how to make sure you never come off as creepy to women. If you don't know now, you are missing out on great girls every single day. But once you do know, and even better, once you can spot it in other guys, women trust you and open up to you and give you a chance no matter WHAT else other guys have to offer. The most important thing you can do is make sure you know what you are saying with your body. If you don't know how to be in your body and know how to speak with it, you are probably saying the wrong things.

This is Great Fucking - The Porn-Star Cocktail Diaries & Recipe Chicks dig MEN, not boys. Believe it.

Learning Pickup Made Me WORSE There is NO magic technique. There are only fundamentals. And it's a dangerous thing about pickup, that if you had success before, learning it will make you WORSE before you get better. I went thru it, my friends at AoF went thru it, hell, almost all our coaches went thru it. You don't improve by practicing and trying to make it up as you go along. People who get really good at physical skills do it by getting good coaching and learning those skills every day. They may have to break down bad habits first in order to build back up.

When She Doesn't Text Back 32

It doesn't matter. What matters is that as good as I am at telling myself "it's just the way it works," when the date doesn't go through, or the woman flakes, or my woman doesn't understand me, at some level I know it really is my fault, because I had a chance to connect with her more, and I held back. When she doesn't call, when she doesn't text, when she doesn't smile, it is on you. But it's not a bad thing. It's on you to overcome your insecurity and instead think about what she really needs from you. Maybe she is overwhelmed with life and emotion, and a sexy charming man is just too much for her to handle right now. Believe it or not, sometimes the girl likes you and THAT'S what causes the problem. Messed up, isn't it? That's why most smart women will hold back, and most smart women will NOT have sex with you the first night. They know how miniscule the odds are that that the guy who is smooth enough to get her turned on in a bar is in fact NOT a player who is just out to get laid and will do or say whatever it takes to make that happen. And we all feel that. We all are that guy. For that one night, there is no motivation quite like thinking you can make those panties drop. When she doesn't call, let those crazy goblins of insecurity jump around and yell at you a while. Let 'em out. Let 'em say what they have to say. And then think a new thought about it. "Maybe it's her." "Maybe there's something in her life making it hard for her to connect to me right now." Think of her with love. Not stupid mushy movie love, but love, compassion, understanding for another human being alone in the world and feeling like she will never be understood for who she really is, and has to get by every day on bullshit, wine, and sad movies she watches alone in bed in her pajamas. Think of what you would need to believe someone really could like you. And then find a way to give that to her. Your insecurity is just more bullshit. It's a lie. It's the lie you use to protect yourself and keep from getting your hopes up. And it's your choice what to do with that bullshit. You can change it now with "Cut the Bullshit"

33

Talking Smack About Women and AoF Details! She's pursuing it now. I saw the best in her, and never let her think otherwise. Give her that gift, and bring out her most beautiful side. Hristiyan does a great job of explaining this in "Praise the Feminine/Celebrate the Pussy"

Letter: I'm a 24 year old guys from Orange County, NY. I emailed you a few weeks ago about an ex of about 5 months ago who left because she said I didn't know what I wanted and I think because I was sometimes too sarcastic and didn't open up . Truth is, I knew what i wanted then and now more than ever (even had it written down on the DYD worksheets from before I met her - and she matched up pretty damn close) , but I was wrapped up in the community stuff (which is how I got her to begin - and then only wanted to be with her). I tried to tell her a couple times and get back with her, but no luck cause i messed up. Then, after reading your break up like a man ebook I called her and told her briefly that I just wanted her to know that I would always be there for her if she needed me. She said that was really nice, and I still feel really bad about the whole thing, and honestly am having a hard time getting over it. She was the best girlfriend I've had to date by far, and physically everything I wanted. She's in a serious relationship now and thinking about moving in with this guy, and I don't see anything happening between us for a long time if ever. I think things really could have been different if I could have gotten away from staying in the "dating mindset" that the community focuses on after getting close to her, and although I want to be with her I dunno if it could ever be as good as it was if it's ever even a possibility. SeanResponse: It sucks to hear, but you won't get a good girl or good connection until you are over her. You fucked up. You didn't mean to, but it's part of how you learn. And one of the things you have to do when you learn a hard lesson is honor it. You can go out right now and rebound and just fuck other girls, but it won't do anything for you. Sometimes the best thing to do is just be totally honest. You can't go out and be happy party guy. Why? You are still stuck on your ex. And that's OK. Tell that to women. I had one night in Toronto where I was just having a shitty night in the club. I'm just bummed about breaking up with a girl and not finding a great one right away again. And to make it worse, it's a hopping club full of students who want to see me turn on the machine. But it's not a machine. It's your heart. You always have to come from your heart. 34

So I walk outside and share a smoke with a group of girls. They ask, "how's it going?" I answer, "pretty crappy. You?" They immediately wanted to know more. They empathized. They liked me for me. I ended up having a great night. I opened my heart. Do the same. Letter: Hey Sean, My name's Greg. I'm 19, and ya basically I;ve only ever pecked a girl on the cheek once. I got deep into the community, lairs and shit, did tons of approaches and I think that kinda stuff is really holding me back now cuz its like oh fuck she's not a ten. The rub is I know I'm rationalizing things away to protect myself but still the behaviors don't change. I can get numbers and open girls now fairly easily but it don;t go much past that and I;m just like what the fuck sometimes. I;ve become the social person I want to be in terms of friends and knowing people for sure, but the great gf isn;t there and I think I just need a kick in the ass. Don't get me wrong I try and I do get numbers but I'm just so fucking afraid of physicality and escalation. Ya so I guess the general question is how do you get out of loops of frustration and overcome your fears when your past behaviors try to limit you so much? Thanks man! Sean Response--I hear you. The "community" can really get in the way when it comes to getting a great girlfriend because it focuses so much on the endless pursuit and conquest without teaching you how to find a girl you want to see more than once. Here's my advice. Commit yourself to getting a girlfriend as soon as you can. Use your social skills to find a girl who is compatible for you. She will not be a 10. She should not be a 10. A 10 will only bring you misery. You need to date a girl you can let yourself like and enjoy being with first, so you can get over the hurdles of intimacy and physical closeness. I tell you a secret no one else will tell you. Every guy who is great with women started with women who were less than perfect. You always want to find a woman who turns you on, but you need to be very careful of rejecting women because they don't meet a fictional ideal. Find a girl and date her for at least a month, and enjoy the simpler things about it, like learning to kiss, and talk, and listen, and sit around doing nothing. It will change your apprecation for women far more than just bedding 50 that you don't care about.

Letter: Sean, i've gotten somewhat comfortable with the simple and direct opener, of "I just had to tell you that you're very cute", but how can I adapt this for a two-set? Sometimes the girl whom i'm not interested in is also very cute, and sometimes obviously 35

not. I just feel that saying that theya re both cute would not be as sincere as when you say it to a girl by herself. What would you suggest that I try? P.S., would the same openers work for me now (a freshman in college) as they do for women who are in their twenties or older? Thanks, J Sean Response (Cut): The problem with two girls is you need to make sure you don't offend the friend by ignoring her. You have to find a way to give her some love while making it clear you are really interested in the other (the longer it takes you to make it clear which one you like, the more annoyed they get). And if you don't have a buddy there with you to talk to her friend, it's on you to chat them both up.

After you tell the first girl your compliment, i.e., "I know this is random, but I had to tell you that you are unbelievably cute," give her a second to reply, then turn to her friend, smile and say, "and you are crazy cute too, but, y'know, I saw her first, so..." Keep smiling. They will smile back. And they will know you are a man who knows how to make women smile. And knows how to make women melt.

Scientific Proof That Everyone in the Bar is Nervous NO ONE wants to be in them night after night. The women you want only are there because they feel they should be. And when they go, they go in force. No one goes out because they simply enjoy it. They do it because of social pressure, that same social pressure you feel. You have something in common with every hot girl in the club already. Both of you would much rather be at home, curled up on the couch with someone they like very much, watching a movie and eating ice cream.

The Real Problem with Cocky and Funny There's nothing wrong with using clever lines to put a smile on her face or make her realize you are not like other guys. But if all you can do is alternate between insults and jokes, she will never fuck you.

36

You Need to Date an Ugly Girl It's a bright summer morning. The wind is blowing gently from right to left as you step up to the tee to take your first swing on your first round of golf in your life. You look up, and realize that you are standing on the first tee at Augusta Nartional, the home of The Masters. And you freeze right up at the thought of playing the course designed to challenge a Tiger, and every lesson you've ever taken goes right out the window as pick up your head and pull out your hips and shank your tee shot 20 yards directly to the right. Didn't even make it past the ladies tees. And you know what that means, don't you, champ? Pull it out. At Augusta. Sounds pretty daunting, doesn't it? Even if you are not a golfer, you've probably played enough Tiger Woods on the PS3 to know the feeling. When you start playing golf, you build your skills very deliberately and very gradually. You get lessons from a pro. You make sure he's a good player, but more importantly, you make extra sure he's a great teacher. And if he is a great teacher, he will make damn sure of one thing. You build your confidence by playing the courses you are ready for. He will know better than you what happens if you take your inadequate skills onto a course that is built specifically to destroy lesser players. He wants you to get good by playing every day, and the best way to do that is find a course that is a good fit for you. You get no benefit by playing over your head. You get good fast by playing at your level and building confidence with your skills, and then progressing to tougher and tougher challenges. Well, my friend, girls are just like golf courses. And no, I don't mean in that cheesy jokey way where they both have lots of holes, a ton of rough, and are at their most fun when you are drunk and driving a golf cart. When you re dating, you need to be very aware and very disciplined about what you want the most. Do you want to just get lucky and hope it works out, like the casual golfer who drops his $100 and hopes for the best? Or do you want to become a craftsman, an aficionado, a lover of the game who gets better every day and knows what he is doing to get better? Do you want to be the best 37

you can be? Do you want to challenge yourself every day and practice the skills that bring you more joy, more satisfaction, and more tastes of perfection, of moments lost in the flow, and of immortality? Think of that friend of yours who really loves, loves, loves wine. Sure, he's a little boring at times, and you may not quite understand what it is about the different vintages that turns him on so much. But when you see the flush of joy across his face as he savors a new wine, you get the sense that he is tasting something you simply cannot know... yet. He has refined his palate through experience and has a deeper appreciation for this one thing that you can't detect... yet. He got it through experience. Not luck. Not talent. Just practice. That's the nature of any quest. That's the nature of man at his best. And that is what you are really seeking when you set off on the path of getting and keeping a great woman. But your journey doesn't start at the end. it's a lifetime of pleasure and learning, and it starts where you know you can do well. It starts at the beginning. For a wine-lover, it starts with the Two-Buck Chuck at Trader Joes. You taste and taste and taste the simpler wines and learn to isolate new flavors and textures, and as you get more experience, you move on to more complicated wines. For the golfer, it starts with countless rounds at your community course. Nice, wide fairways, forgiving lies, easy greenside bunkers and soft greens that hold even the most wicked hot approach and let it lie so you've got a shot for birdie. You build your skills here first so you can get the confidence for more difficult, unforgiving, but ultimately more rewarding courses. For the lover, it starts with the women in your life now. It starts with a friend. With an ex-girlfriend. With your buddy's sister. With a blind date, or a girl you meet online. See, for the lover, just as for the golfer, it starts with practicing and enjoying the process where you know you can succeed now. It doesn't start with the ultimate challenge. You get better faster by simply playing every day. And if you want the best way to get good with women, start now with the women you know you can enjoy, the women you know will appreciate you. 38

Drop your pride. Drop your ego. Stop trying to prove something to those invisible men in your imagination who you think care so much about what you do with your life. No one really cares but you. And you are not getting better at all by practicing on your own while you wait for that absolute perfect beauty of your wildest adolescent dreams to drop out of the sky. You want to get good with women fast? Go out today, and find a girlfriend. Find an ugly girl. I need to make this clear. It's unfair to categorize women solely by looks. It's shallow, and it's immature. But it's part of how our bodies are built. We do respond differently to photos of Jessica Alba than to photos of Jessica Tandy. And as men we do want to eventually find ourselves with the best looking woman we can find. But if you make that your sole focus, you are losing time every day. There's a woman in your life now you may think of as ugly. But your perceptions aren't always right. Some of the most physically beautiful women are ugly on the inside, and it shows through as soon as you spend more than 10 minutes in conversation with them. On the other hand, there is a world of plainer-looking girls who have an innate goodness, and sexiness that you may never notice until you take the time to make it shine. That is what a real man does. Your goal is to get so good at loving women that you can see the real beauty and real sexiness in all women. Women are more beautiful than you know. If you can make a plain girl happy, she will grow more beautiful every day as you bring out her divine feminine. And if you can do this, you will learn how to make all women feel and shine their beauty. If you wait for the rare beauty, and don't learn your skills first, you may end up destroying that feminine beauty. And there is no worse feeling in the world than seeing a beautiful woman turn ugly from sadness, and knowing you are what caused it. I've done that. I've seen my beautiful girlfriend turn mean and sad as I turned away from her, unable to handle the challenge of her strong feminine. And it damn near killed me. It made me turn away from women entirely for a long time. Don't make the same mistake I did. Get a woman in your life now. Even if she's not perfect. Make it your challenge to make her as perfect as possible. Play her every day. Learn every move, every turn, and every curve. Love her fully, knowing that some day 39

you will both move on, better and happier for the time you had. Get your start now by learning how to Work the Room, and you'll find your life full of better friends and more women than ever before, and it really takes nothing more than a couple of techniques for making people smile every time you talk to them.

Sex? Never at Night I have a simple rule when it comes to sex. Never at night. She's onto you. And she'll play along, but she'll also take her time. Even if she wants to be with you that night, she knows that she's got to be the one to go slower, because it sure as hell ain't gonna be you, Speed Racer. And I used to be the world-heavyweight speed champion. Get in and out like a burger in 10 minutes or less, or forget it. And I'd get myself all kinds of frustrated. Sometimes I'd win and sometimes I'd lose (and yes, it really is nothing more than a battle for pussy when you find yourself working your ass off to get laid that night... sad, sad, sad). The fucked up thing is when I'd "win," I'd end up less than satisfied with the sex. It was never great. Matter of fact, the more I had to work at it, the worse it was. And when I'd lose, well, you don't need me to tell you exactly how much ye olde blue ballse hurt. I spent some nights pretty much crippled.

Maybe You Can't Get Laid Because You're a Selfish Prick. But Maybe, Just Maybe, You are Actually a Good Man But I'm aware now that the only way to get anything good in your life is to give. That's why I left a cushy job that paid $120K per year and let me surf any time I wanted to make $750 a week and work 100 hours a week with no real home for PickUp 101. All told, I made about $40K total in 2 years of working for PU101. I threw away my publishing career. I lost my girlfriend. I moved 3000 miles. So why did I do it? Not fame. Not fortune. Love. I did it because I love working with my friends, and I love giving something with no expectation of reward. The great Matthew Furey said once that the greatest benefits in the world are the unexpected benefits. When you do something purely for others with no expectation of quid pro quo reward, that is when you open the universe to reward you fantastically. 40

People do not like selfish people. Even selfish people do not like selfish people. So this is a gut check for you now. How much time, energy and money do you put into fulfilling your own selfish desires every day? Now compare that with how much you do for someone else. Doing something for others is a great form of selfishness. It gives you a feeling of mattering. Pickup really is not about getting laid. Like Style and Mystery have both said on many occasions, it is really about nothing so much as becoming a better man. And we keep the women around to keep score.

"Oh, not much. Just pitched in to help cure breast cancer. Y'know, cos I'm deep, and stuff. Wanna make out?" I'm only partially kidding. What makes you truly attractive to people is not what you are, it's what you bring to them. It's the way you make other people feel. It's the goodness you bring into the world. Why would a woman ever want to fuck you? Because she's hoping it makes her feel better than anything else. That's it. It's not procreation. It's not survival and replication. She wants the man who makes her feel the best.

Sean's Got a Great Big Mailbag I'm really into day game - have been for a while, always with a direct opener quite similar to yours, something like 'Excuse me, I just had to come and tell you I think you are SO cute, otherwise I'll be kicking myself all day....!' You're not supposed to push yourself, dude. You gradually, steadily, and happily build up to what it is you want to accomplish. If you think of approaching women as work, you simply won't do it. You have to think of it as practice. That's all. If it works and she blows you on the street, great. If she runs away in fear because she's a loon, just as great. You are practicing for you. Why was I smiling? Because I practiced. I was not there to "workout." I practice running sprints. I practice lifting heavy. I like it because it makes me feel good to do something difficult that requires attention and discipline. I set my goals, and I go after them. If I don't get to them, who cares? The point is I keep making the effort day after day. 41

It's a cliche, but it's totally true that the only failure is not trying. Make it easy. Every single day, make it your mission to put a smile on the face of one new woman. Every day. No excuses, no days off. You do this for 30-days and you are a new man. You don't, and well, you stay right where you are.

Letter:Hey man wasup! It is was tragic for me that you will leave pickup101, I think that was one of the very best companies in the world when it comes to make people more attractive and more themselves than putting on a mask. Anyway, that doesn't make me hesitate to ask you pickp related questions haha. You LOVE HELPING guys and maybe the reason I love taking advice from you is that I want to meet the girls with the same quality that you see them. Today I saw the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and trust me there is the time I regret it most not doing an approach, you know that is the kind of girl that is so BEAUTIFUL you don't even stare at her tits or ass or anything she is so GORGEOUS you wanna look at her eyes for ever. I saw her in a grocery store however she was with a friend that is not very attractive atleast compared to her and even though this would have easily turned to a movie moment and a great romantic encounter I was so AFRAID that her less attractive friend would feel bad about herself. Also I don't like engaging both of them because at some point I will still have to make my intensions clear for the beautiful one this is the one that am gonna tell her she is cute, attractive or whatever amazing but what about her friend how could you directly approach DIRECTLY a very attractive girl with her not so attractive friend without her friend feeling bad. I think you had a MOVIE MOMENT APPROACH in the pickup101 blog with the Thai and Indonisian girl describing a similar situation. Yours a === Sean Response You are a man and you go for what you want. If you see a woman you like go for it. See ball, get ball. Then just be friendly. So you're not into her friend. That's OK. Women do 42

not cock-block sincere, good guys. They only interfere when they sense the guy is only after getting laid at any cost. And yes, I did write all about how I used nothing but total sincerity to meet my girlfriend in SF when she was having coffee with her very, very, very dismissive friend. All I had to do was be so sincere, open and friendly that she couldn't possibly be mean to me. Your vulnerability is your strength. You are Braveheart. They may take your life, but they will never take your FREEDOM!

Sean Reponse to another email: The story is good. You do not need a great story. You do not need to write ANY stories. And in fact, you shouldn't tell this, because it is obviously fake and meant only to entertain and impress. You do not need to impress anyone with content. Storytelling is just a structure for talking about things you love with enthusiasm. Instead of trying to write a great story, start practicing telling the stories you already know in a great way. Take the things from your life that were really fun, like vacations, or adventures, or travel, and learn how to talk about them with total commitment and energy and enthusiasm. Remember always that the point to telling a story is NOT to impress people. Only insecure people and total hard-ons do that. The point to telling stories is to relate. Just try this. Ask the next person you talk to what their best vacation ever was. After they tell you, tell them yours. Make it your movie. Don't lie. Don't make shit up. Just make it as exciting to hear as it felt for you. And keep it short. Two minutes at the most. No one likes the guy who just keeps telling stories and never listens to a damn thing anyone says. Be the guy who talks, listens, and relates, and you will get all the women the guy who's got a pocketfull of stories would never have a shot with. Letter:I'm hot for my teacher of English 211 here at University of Miami. She's multicultural and of course her class is "Multicultural Studies". Her body is kicking, her skin is light brown im guessing a mix between her black parents and Jewish grandparents or something. She has nice long legs, very slim person, and a cute face. Not that i dont see many girls here on campus, but rarely do i ever see a WOMAN like that. Now i guess me being significantly younger than her (i think shes 25 and im 20), im expecting the odds to be somewhat out of my favor. But i like the idea of harmlessly 43

flirting with her, fuck that i think its damn HOT to flirt with my teacher. How would you handle this, dude? with thanks! Sean Response Ah, the U! You are getting an advanced education in hotties. Congrats. Now as for the teacher... my advice is... YES. Flirt your ass off. Be shameless. Smile at her and tell her how gorgeous she is and ask her to meet you for a drink every single day. Never give up. Just stay convinced of your own unbelieveable sexiness. And watch "Dazed and Confused" to see how a high-school kid hits on a hot teacher. Pure magic.

I F***ed Up with the Classic Girl and So Did You WHY PHYSICAL ESCALATION CHANGES EVERYTHING I wish I knew what I know now. I wish I could go back like in some bad sci-fi movie and whisper in my ear all the things I know now about expressing interest in a woman and escalating with her. I wish I could tell the young, foolish, uneducated me all the things I've now learned and taught to thousands about how much women WANT you to be physically forward with them, about how you can use eye contact, and certain key words, and move your body in ways that let her know clearly that you want her, and you are both going to experience something great. I wish I could tell the sad, young me how easy it was to guarantee success with women when you apply the techniques of Physical Escalation. But this isn't a movie. I can't go back. I have to live with that memory, and live with knowing I did nothing. I have to live with the memory of that last day we worked together. She stood right in front of me. She looked in my eyes. And I couldn't say anything. I... I couldn't say a damn word. The one time in my life I needed words to more than ever, and I had nothing. You know how that feels? 44

She hugged me. I hugged back and closed my eyes tight. I wanted things to be different so badly. I wanted things to magically change. She gave me a book, and told me not to read the inscription until I got home, and drove off. I made it 30 seconds before I read the inscription. It said, "I will always remember our summers together. Love always, Amy." I never saw her again. But I think of her every day. I carved the letter "A" into my forearm one night to make sure I'd never forget that feeling. That feeling of cowardice. I think of her every day when I'm teaching men how to get the success with women they deserve. I think of her when I think of the women out there dying for men to notice them, dying thinking that no man has the stones to just take a chance, to want her, to desire her, and to act on it, and be a confident, physical, real man. If you don't know how to make your move, you will keep missing out on life. I learned this lesson once, and now I'm telling you. Stop missing out now.

You Have to Kiss Her NOW It's been a great date. It's time to walk her to her car. But I've got a trick up my sleeve. We start walking, and I bend down and pick her up on my shoulder. She's laughing her ass off as I carry her 50 feet and set her down gently at her door. She looks up, big smile on her face, eyes gleaming. She takes a deep breath. I lean in, and slowly... say, "good night." And I turn and walk away. That's the last time I ever saw that girl. Wanna know why? I. Didn't. Kiss Her. 45

See, I fell prey to one of the most dangerous myths out there in the world. I thought that if I was slick and played a little hard to get, played it too cool for school, she would chase me. I was a tease. I set things up and when it came time to do what was obvious, I instead played games. I thought I was being sexy. I was being a jerk. And it really had nothing to do with me trying to be smooth. I wanted to find a way to get HER to make the first move so there was no way in hell she could reject me. And that, my friend, is just plain stupid. When you like a woman and she likes you, it is totally on you to make all the moves. No matter how much she likes you and no matter how forward she is, she wants to be desired. She wants to be wanted. She wants to be teased, then teased some more, then fulfilled. She wants you to make her emotions run high and get her warmed up, then close it with a kiss that turn her legs into gummi worms. I remember the first time I ever kissed a girl for real. I was nervous and afraid of goofing it up, but I was also clear on my goal and not playing any games at all, other than "find her lips in the dark." But then when I started dating a lot, and worse, reading about dating a lot, I got a lot of new information in my poor brain, and it started to short-circuit my body. You have instincts in you that tell you exactly what to do in every situation with a woman. But if you are like a lot of men, those instincts are buried under data and theory like the spring flowers under snowpack in a Canadian winter. You find yourself on a date, or at the club, or walking in the park with a beautiful girl, and think you've finally done it. You set yourself apart from the hordes of common men who don't have the cojones (that's Spanish for giant balls of titanium) to see what they want, recognize it, and do something about it. You did. You got the girl. But now comes the next critical moment. Now comes zero hour. Women are constantly sending signals to you to move things forward. And if you didn't know that, you have already missed out on great women in your life. It's true, it's true, and I can speak from sad experience. I'm finally getting old enough now where I can look back on my past romances and see where I was going from the heart and 46

gut, and did things right, and where I tried to play this silly game of three-dimensional chess, like I controlled the universe and she was just a piece to be moved around the board, never realizing that all I really had to do was STOP acting like such a control freak and pay attention to every signal she was sending me. Like they said in "White Men Can't Jump," "you got to LISTEN to the woman. Even if you can't HEAR her, you got to LISTEN to her." If it's the end of the date, you already missed the signals. If she's looking to see what time it is, you missed the signals. And this goes beyond just new girls. You are missing this all the time with girlfriends as well! If you've ever had a girl say to you, "nothing's wrong," and then ignore you, you missed a giant flag waving in front of your face that was telling you "please kiss me, you fool!" Women love kissing like men love puppies, football, beer and TV. They NEED it. They CRAVE it. And a man who can plant a great first kiss on her, and then keep that first kiss coming time after time.... after time... is a man that they will do anything to please. If you know how to please her with your kiss, and with all the steps that lead up to warming up her body, her mind and her lips to get primed for that kiss, you open up a brand-new world of joy for both of you. Whatever you want with your woman, it starts with how you kiss her. That's right... learn what she needs from your kiss, and you will never need to see your internet pharmacist for a prescription of artificial rejuvenation again. Kissing turns her on more than diamonds and more than words. Kissing triggers her physical response to you and is the most important part of foreplay. Kissing tells her everything she needs to know about you in bed. How you kiss is how you do everything. Kissing is the centerpiece of every seduction, of every relationship. It's the slow dance, the tease, the magnetic pull between bodies. Just the idea of kissing you sends shock waves thru her sexy body when she knows that electricity from your lips will ground to hers and pull your bodies together, no matter what your brains are busily barking about. If you can kiss her like a movie star, she will be in your bed. If not, well, you better start talking REAL fast. 47

Don't make the same mistake I did. I can still see that poor girl standing in my driveway as I walked away, smug and stupid and thinking that I was playing hard to get, and just leaving her unkissed. I left her with the clearest possible message. I had NO idea what I was doing, and no idea how to really please a woman. I thought I was playing hard to get. And I ended up, again, just playing with myself. Learn how to kiss a woman like a movie star, and get the first kiss and more, and spend more time playing with her, and less time alone. Wishing you peace, love, and classic frickin' women, Sean Messenger Get the First Kiss and More

Size Matters That thing is IRRATIONAL self-confidence. You have to believe you are the very best there ever was. You have to buy into your own amazingness and awesomeosity before anyone else can. You have to truly love yourself, and everything about you, before you can hope to express that in a way that gets the attention of really great women. And that means you've got to understand what women really respond to, and what, THINGS matter the most to them. So I'm going to clear this up for all men right now and make it so you never have to ask this question again. 1) Every guy wonders if he's "enough" for a woman. 2) Every guy thinks that at some point she must have had a better lover, and better is defined by more 48

Women only have nerve endings at their opening. That's why they are perfectly capable of pleasing themselves quite nicely without a man at all... just their fingers. If if the next time you have doubts about your size, just take a look at your little finger. That's all you really need, basic equipment-wise. See, the women in your life don't need you to scare them off with your size. What every woman is really looking for in a lover is passion, connection, and the ability to bring out the best in her, and in yourself, so you can please each other. What she needs is to feel your confidence through your whole body so she can feel comfortable being her best, sexiest self. That's the secret of your Physical

And you do that by really being with her. Let go of your insecurity. Tap into that irrational self-confidence you have in there somewhere. Tell yourself over and over again just what she wants to think of you... "I am a sexy mother-****er!"

How Do I Handle Girls Flaking on Me? As Will Smith said in "Hitch," "she said yes when she could have said no. That means she likes you. So your job now is not to make her like you. Your job is to NOT SCREW IT UP!" This girl is not flaking on you, genius. You are reacting emotionally based on irrational fears and missing the mark by fucking miles. You are creating your own problem where none exists. You like the girl. But it's early. It's not love. It's not a commitment. You like each other, and you have chemistry. So simply take your time and enjoy each other.

49

How to Break Up with Grace You want to date a lot of great women? You will have to confront this reality real fast. They will all end in hurt feelings. You will break her heart. She will step on yours. And you will have the choice to either confront and talk honestly and compassionately when the time comes, or you can slink away quiet and hope to never get caught out in your strange feeling: you think people expect you to be perfect, and if you are not, then you are worthless.

I do not tell her she'll find love someday. I don't tell her about mi vida, mi amo. I don't insult her. Sometimes, dude, the best thing you can do is shut the fuck up and just BE THERE. I do it. And it's done. You don't break up with a person. You call out the end of a phase. People will circle around in each other's lives in odd ways... don't think of a breakup as a horrible thing to be avoided. Do it with some grace, and you may just find that you don't end up breaking and broken like you thought.

Breaking Up The Right Way Makes You Both Happy In the words of David Deida, "I want to bring joy to this woman, and in return, I expect nothing but pain."

I Found a Great Girlfriend. Now What?!? Do you want to know how to keep her happy? Don't spend every second with her. Keep your own lives. But when you are together, make it TOTALLY about passion and fun. Always focus on passion and fun. Don't let it fall into boring routine. And get naked and wet as often as possible. That's why I'm moving to a place with a pool and sunshine 365 days a year. :) - As you can see, I really have a lot of feelings for her, and I am sharing most of it with her (as she does with me), but sometimes I feel insecure if I should talk about these feelings. What do you think? Let her talk about her feelings 10x as much as you talk about yours. Keep your words short and sweet. "You make me happy, baby," tells her more than an epic love poem. - Especially, I feel I would like to address the topic "are we in a relationship now?" 50

Should I talk about that, if yes, how and when? NO. Do NOT talk about your "relationship." As soon as you do that, you have a new person in the room named "relationship." If she wants to talk about what you mean to each other, or whether or not you see other people, then yes, talk openly, but make sure it's always in the context of how you FEEL about each other, and how happy you make each other, not what you OWE to each other and expect in a relationship. - When do you use attraction, when rapport when building a LTR? How do you recognise the situation? First, don't call it an LTR. She's your girlfriend. That's a good enough word. Jargon will really mess you up here. Second, spend most of your time teasing and playing with her, and being sweet and sexy. No need to get deep unless the emotions are running strong. Rapport is there physically all the time you are together. Focus most of your energy on communicating without words. Try to tell her how much you love her with just your eyes. Practice for 3 minutes with her every day. Don't tell her what you are doing, just look at her. Once you can send her love with your eyes, you'll never worry about your words again. The concepts of attraction and rapport really have no place with a real girlfriend, and no place in love. The point is to relate to her completely at all times, be with her completely, and focus on doing things to make her and you happy and smiling and giddy as much as humanly possible. - How often do you call? She's your girlfriend. Follow golden girlfriend rule. Call or text every day, and say something to make her smile. Do that, and she will give you all the love you can handle. Don't play games.

What Do You Want? "What do you want?" "What. Do. You. WANT?" Sounds simple, right? But I'm sittting there listening, meditating on it, and realizing I never asked, much less answered, this question before. What do I want? Women. Then what? What do I do with them? What kind of relationship? Do I want committment? Dating? Girlfriends, hookups, random hot monkey sex, harems, a wife, a wife and a girlfriend, a wife with her own girlfriend? There's a line in the great movie "Clerks" that says it all. "There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." 51

I know what I want. The fine looking woman is not enough. I want the best, and I want to make it work so I feel loved every single day.

You Are One Ass-Smack Away from Fixing Approach Anxiety "Hey man, I am very interested in learning the game. Not to pickup strippers, or be able to manipulate women. I want to walk into any social situation, and if I find a girl attractive, I want to be able to analyse the situation and approach, chat her up and get to know her. I dont like the fear of not being able to talk to women. The feeling of 'paralysis' is what I hate. I have been working on inner game, self confidence, style (I have received many compliments lately on this). In sum, any advice for me?" I think that most men really want to learn how to get better with women so they can have the ability to talk to any woman who interests them, not to only be able to have a shot with certain types of women in certain situations. And I've got some really good news for you here. Most women dream every day of having a cool, confident guy approach them and make them smile in their day-to-day lives. They don't want to have to wait until 1:15 at the bar on a Friday for some drunken fool to make his move before the lights come on. They want you to come talk to them at the gym, the coffee shop, and the supermarket. They want you to approach at happy hour and when they are at dinner. Basically, there's never a bad time to sweep a girl off her feet.

Raw Notes on The Art of Wealth and Abundance, Day 3 - Inevitability To make something inevitable, find what is preventing it, remove it, and leave nothing in its place so you have to do something. Jonathan posted a great summary of this at http://teambuffet.blogspot.com/2007/01/inevitability-efficiency-rewarding.html. Thank god we are sharing note-taking on blogs. Here's what he wrote. Make the goals seem Inevitable and then everything falls into place. * Forcing yoruself to deal with something can create inevitability. * Forget perfectionism. Throw something together; make it public; improve it later. 52

Faster the better. * Grab what is inspirational, use it as a symbol. * Share the goal story with people close to you as if it has already happened. Email, SMS, call, whatever is fast and efficient. EFFICIENCY Efficiency isn't as important as most people think. If you aren't doing the right things, it's not efficient. Take action rather than be perfectionistic. Try doing everything as crappy as possible, just to get things done. REWARDS * Reward the smallest increment of behavior imaginable, at first. * After you've started taking action, then give rewards for hitting real valuable goals. Progress and Success are both tricky. You should get nervous when looking at the Goal Card. If you're not getting nervous, perhaps the goal is too big; it's too abstract and unreal. Make sure you reward the action, NOT the result. The more you encourage and re-inforce the effort at the behavior, the more you get that behavior.

The Myth of Sexual Freedom - Would You F*** Her If You Knew She Was F***ing Your Friend? I want love. And maybe it's because there are things that happened in my past that made me feel it was taken from me, and now I need to make it work. I want to date and fall in love. And my dream is to one day have lived my life with women so fully, and understand myself and women so well that when I find one that just won't leave my mind, I know what to do in order to keep dating her, every day and every night, for the rest of my life. I want to teach people how to find love and make it work. I want the big goddamned American dream. I want a great woman who treats me like a king, not because I play some games with her or manage the relationship well, but because I understand her, and she understands me, and we are adults who work well together and make each other stronger and happier in our love. I want a family of my own. I want kids to play with and throw a baseball too. I want football games on Thanksgiving in the backyard. I want my friends to bring their families over for barbeques and I want to know that we all can be in 53

love and have someone to care for us exactly as who we are, and never have to suffer through divorce. I want what we all deserve. Love. Companionship. A classic girl and more total happiness for less work. I plan on looking and leering like an old Italian grandfather, playing dominoes in the shade with my buddies, and watching every beautiful girl that walks by -- I plan on watching women like some people watch birds, breathless and curious and with open admiration -- for the rest of my life. I will never lose my love, or even my desire, for the look and feel, the sound, smell, and vibe of new beautiful women. But I get more joy from having one woman who I love and who loves me like a mother tiger. She's got my back, no matter what. And she will never stop being sexy to me. "Your mother grew more beautiful every day of her life." Imagine that. Imagine being with a woman you appreciate and want MORE every day you see her. I look at it like this. My heroes are the men who find great women and make it work. I mean the men you look at and you just KNOW they could still be out there getting new girls, but they have more important things to do. Or they found women so great, they know they left that round of the game with a winning ticket. Paul Newman. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kurt Russell. James Carville. Jon Bon Jovi (did you know he's been married the ENTIRE time he's been disturbingly pretty Jon Bon Jovi?!?) Even Springsteen, the greatest American musician (sorry, Dylan), found the woman and family you could hear his heart crying for as far back as "Asbury Park." And he had to really fuck it up first to make it right. If ever you go through a breakup and wonder if you are totally alone, get a copy of "Tunnel of Love," and you will hear your voice, better and rawer than you thought it could ever be. I'm a romantic. I confess. I'm not a scientist of sex. I'm not here to break down the social systems that allow us to subvert the dominant paradigm and trick the world into giving us everything, like the cheat code in Contra that gives you limitless lives. There is always a dynamic with relationships, with men and women. No matter how good you are at your part, it only works if you find women who want what you want as well.

54

Perhaps it is possible for a man to have a woman to keep and a constant source of new pussy as well. Maybe you don't have to choose. But there's a balance of basic fairness at work as well. Whatever it is you want for yourself, you also have to want for her. I mean, no matter how mature we get, we're never really more advanced than the little kids who need to see the pieces of birthday cake cut exactly the same size for everyone. It is about fairness. You are a monument to justice. So ask youself, player. What if the woman you spend the night with goes out the next night with a guy you don't like, and blows him in the bathroom of the club? What if she fucked you one night, and the next night fucked your friend? Go ahead and say that sounds cool. Go ahead and say that it doesn't matter to you what she does, or that you don't need it to seem like something even a little bit special. But you are lying. One of the reasons we pursue women is because it is TOUGH to get them. You want to put in the effort it takes to fuck her because you know not just every man can. It does make you special. Having to work for it makes it worth it. That's why all societies demonize the slut. Say what you want, but as soon as a woman makes it obvious she will fuck anyone, you don't want to fuck her.

The Grind You head home for the night. It's only 11:16. You talked to 4 people, and smiled once. You didn't get any girls smiling. You didn't get yourself smiling. You had a drink, then thought how far you have to drive home, and how early you have to work tomorrow. You didn't bring a girl home. You're not a pickup superstar like the books and videos and workshops tell you that you should be. You're a grinder. You're in the grind. Athletes know all about the grind. See, there are two states of being for accomplishment. One is flow. Flow is the total absorption into process so your brain checks out and lets your body and instinct take over. Grind is the opposite. Grind is when you just can't quite find the rhythm you know is there and you keep pushing to get to it. Grind is when you get on the golf course and shank your first drive into the woods. Grind is when you wake up at base camp, put on your cramp-ons, and heave for air before you've even take a step. Grind is you pick up your guitar and your fingers feel inflated to twice their size and three times as slow. Grind is going out on a Thursday and not having fun even once, but still making it 55

through the night. All performers in life know the grind. Salesmen know it. They know when they just aren't locking in with customers. But they punch in and put in the hours that day, and if they are smart, they find ways to let got the grind and get the flow. Here are some things you can do now the next time you find yourself grinding. 1) Take a walk. Get your body in motion and stop thinking. I'm a writer. And there are a LOT of days I sit to write and find the tank scraping bottom. Nothing. No inspiration. So I count on my body and senses to kick back in. I walk and get a cup of coffee and along the way I pick up the ideas that become that day's story. You can do the same. Don't stand in the bar. Walk out, get a stamp, do whatever. Then walk around the block and let the motion work into you. 2) Go to your Private DVD Collection. There's a visualization technique in "PsychoCybernetics" that is very powerful called theater of the mind. I like to think of it as my MTV Cribs Theater DVD collection. Just stop and picture a high point in your life. For me, it's crossing the finish line at the Chicago Marathon. And I remember it clearly because I ran across fast, loud, and screaming at the cheering fans, "f**k you, this hurts, you get out here and run 26.2 you sonsabitches!" Then I bowled over a volunteer who was trying to wrap me in a silver blanket so I could get to the Sam Adams beer truck. Good times. I replay this DVD in my mind, and I remember what it feels like to succeed. I smile. I am proud of myself, and I am confident. You can do the same. 3) Picture you rollin'. Take that same idea of visualization, but now apply it to your present and near future. What do you want to have now? Do you want that girl in your bed? Then picture it. See it clearly. See it like Tiger Woods sees his 240-yard approach biting the green and rolling back pin-high for a 10-foot birdie attempt. Your body will attempt to complete what your brain sees. When you find yourself in the Grind, reach out to everyone around you for flow. Working the Room will teach you how to make allies of everyone in the room, which on those nights when you feel most alone, is the most powerful tool you have.

Why the Best Pickup Line in "Wedding Crashers" is NOT... It's easy to get so wrapped up in the clever line you forget the real purpose of approaching women. You want them to get to know you as you get to know them so you 56

see what the potential is. And if you spend all your time worrying about the clever and the funny, you can completely miss out on the part where you start to know each other.

The Razorjack Method . What you have to do is figure out how to present yourself as the coolest version of you, and make her notice. Then make her smile. Then make her come so hard she forgets her name. :-)

Size Matters Step-by-step points to creating physical confidence with your body language, no matter what size you are. How Big Are You? Your physical presence is NOT limited by your physical size It is determined by how you present yourself The most intimidating guy I ever met was half my size So how do you find out how big you are now? Pay attention to how people react to you when you approach When? Not just in clubs -- ALL the time with EVERYBODY OK, now you know -- But CAN YOU BE BIGGER? Modeling (Not the Zoolander Kind) Find best version of yourself, not someone you are not Be as big and strong a presence as you can be Find someone with similar size who commands authority, then observe and model them Short and sturdy? Model Mel Gibson Tall and thin? Model Tommy Lee Big and sexy? Then maybe you too can be as cool as Sean! Announce your Presence with Authority Stand tall Avoid the "shy girl slouch" Shoulders back and chin up Take up space, but do so with grace Slow down!!! More Swayze, less Farley. How Do I Work It? Find fun activities where you move in powerful, graceful ways Examples 57

Surfing, snowboarding, skateboarding Dancing (salsa, ballroom, etc.) Sprints or plyometric training Powerlifting Swimming Any group classes at your gym (kickboxing, hip-hop, yoga, etc.) Be physical and be in your body all the time -- pay attention to how you move every day (walking, standing, sitting, etc.) Taking Up Space with Grace A big presence draws attention Be aware that when you enter a room, everyone knows Girls may be a little afraid when you approach Let them see you coming and just be cool You do not need to intimidate anyone Stand beside people when talking to them Make it seem like a friendly aside You are generous with your authority, not overbearing Move with grace and playful gentleness You are a big, cuddly bear Moving and Touching Open and playful, but deliberate Slow and low, that is the tempo Be very gentle If you are a physically powerful man who also has a gentle touch, you will TURN WOMEN ON You are the Daddy who is playful, but loves and protects his little girl Yes, it's dirty and it's wrong, but it works! Be Tons of Fun Always be laughing and smiling Tell yourself jokes like "Chuck Norris doesn't need pickup lines. He just says 'Now.'" Role-play out of character Pretend she is stronger than you Have her beat you at thumb wrestling and say "ow!" Big bear hugs! Side hugs, full hugs, lift-her-off-the-ground hugs. Everyone loves hugs The friendly pat on the ass Like a football player patting a teammate Wooderson in Dazed and Confused For a Real Challenge Fireman's Carry Up over the shoulder (and in perfect position for a spanking) 58

Works even better if you tell her you ARE a fireman! Estonian-style wife carrying Not recommended as an opener * * unless it's last call at the bar Final Thoughts Always Have Fun Smile, you big goof! :-) Girls expect you to be the big man in charge, so accept it and enjoy it Be the jolly, fun guy everyone loves Yes, you heard that right When in doubt, just pretend you're Santa Claus

St. Patty's Day Success Stories from the UCP! We had a little challenge at the UCP - Ultimate Coaching Program this St. Patty's Day. Everyone was given a super-secret opening line (OK, a super-goofy opening line) guaranteed to get girls smiling and loving you, and everyone then competed to get their hands on a copy of the incredible 4-CD set of David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man - Teaching Sessions." Now it's time to announce the winners, and tell you their stories. First up, my man CJ Rackham from London UK. He's getting a copy of the CDs, and even better, never-ending fame as a cocksman who is now doing what he used to think was impossible. Take it away, CJ! Haha, I have a date ! There is this cute checkout girl at my local supermarket which I used for one of the genuine compliment exercises last month... (I had told her she was "incredibly cute," and she said that made her day. ) Well, I hadn't seen this woman in about a month, but she was working at lunch today.. so I HAD to trump the "incredibly cute" compliment. Well, she spots me, and makes eye contact briefly, and I telegraph a slight double-take and veer over to her queue.. (haha, as if I didn't see her there..) As I'm waiting, sort of examining the various ads and stuff on the checkout, not forcing any eye contact because I can see her getting a little more nervous/flushed as I move up CJ Rackham, 42 London, UK the queue (I can almost read her thoughts: "Whats this guy going to say to me now ?") So, its my turn to checkout next, we both smile at each other, and I say "Hi again - you know, you have the 59

most beautiful eyes... Its a St. Patrick's day tradition that when you meet someone new, you have to tell them something you like about them.." She completely melted on the spot.. she lost her composure a bit and said, "I - I - don't know what to say," - she regained her composure and said "Thank you! - you just made my day - again!" We introduced each other, and I said "you know ... , I've been wanting to meet you for some time now, but I never see you in here... would you like to have coffee sometime ?" She said "Sure!" (as she looks for something to write on..) - I handed her pen and paper and she wrote her down her number... I'll be texting her in a few hours when she's off work to seal the deal - not to count my chickens, but I can tell already that this will be a no-flake meeting.. Sean, you do a great job at pushing us to push ourselves... keep the inspiration coming... - CJ Rackham, 42, London, UK Join the UCP - Ultimate Coaching Program and write your own success story today! 0 comments

FR: All You Need is Love This is from a friend who posted this on a private forum on a torrent site. I asked him if I could tell the story to the world, because the world needs to hear it. This is what he told me. "Spread the Love. Thanks for this, man. I really appreciate it. If it just changes the life of one man, it's all worth it."

Here is a 2-hour interview we did from my "True Stories of Real Heroes" series. The mp3 is a free download: http://www.websitetoolbox.com/mb/gettinggreatgirls?forum=113512 Here is his Field Report. For the past several days, I have been something, not merely done something or tried something, that had been recommended to me in the past, but I that had never truly taken to heart: Love. Seriously guys, Love is all you need. When you have that and truly live that, pickup is a fucking joke. I work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Thursday I blast through a coffee shop and 60

with zero hesitation open a blonde who's immediately into me. She was sitting, bored, studying, and all I did was make her laugh and smile. We're hanging out later this week. There were good times at work with other random girls later on, including one saying "I LOVE YOU!" all night long (she was fun later), but it's Sunday now and I don't remember most of them. That was just a test. Friday and Saturday night I went full on Loving everyone unconditionally. Men, women, drunks, bums, whoever. It didn't matter. I just pretended that every single person I met was a long-lost really awesome friend who I had forgotten everything about. Then, I pretended that I wasn't pretending. The result: Loving everyone, without question, without hesitation, without judgment, without fear. Friday night I opened zero, that's right, zero women. Why, you ask? Because I had several different women open me the entire night, one of whom actually ran Game on me: Tight: You're cute, and I love the way you dance! Sonorous: I'm a terrible dancer, and you know it. *wink* You're just saying that to get into my pants. It's okay, though, I Love you anyways *hug* Tight: You know me too well. Hey, meet my friends! Guys, girls, everyone in the group is into me. Another mixed 3-set walks up to me as the bar is closing, and the two girls just come on to me right there in front of their guy friend, who isn't caring at all. Right as they're both about to grab my phone so that they can invite me back to their after-party, Tight walks out with her friends, grabs my phone, punches in her number, and gives me the look of "You. Me. Later." I simply nod and see her walk away. Two more tried to make out with me. Yet another one offered herself home to me. That made 3 total. I didn't want or need anything from any of these women. I simply lit up their worlds, focusing purely on Loving them. Whether or not they loved me back did not change my internal state. I wish I could remember more and give more details, because I'm usually great at that, but whenever I try to rack my brain and find out exactly what happened to explain the night, I just get this blur of awesome. I chose Tight to go home with and close because the logistics played themselves out best for her, and because she was the funniest one of the night. There was absolutely zero resistance in her. Let me run that by everyone again: An 8 opens me in front of all of her friends, grabs my phone later and drops in her number, and offers zero resistance in my bedroom. I did nothing but Love and flow. 61

Last night was even better. A 3-set of 18-year-olds runs up to me, and the cutest one immediately just launches herself at me out of nowhere. I told her that she couldn't help but Love me as I vaulted her into my arms so that her friends could snap a picture of us. After a couple minutes of flirting and telling her to "get out of here!", she drops her number in my phone and kisses me. She comes back two more times, kissing me each time and leading both of her friends to me, and her friends casually let the "alpha female" of the group at me without any resistance. And, actually, as I write this, she just texted me. We're setting up a massage session later today. She needs one. I could always use one. Everyone wins. Another blonde I hadn't seen in months just grabs me last night and starts grinding with me while yelling in my ear (loud music): "I haven't seen you in months! We need to hang out at my place. Alone." I just smile, hand her my phone, and make plans with her for later. Yet another blonde comes up and talks about when we're hooking up, in front of lots of random guys. And finally, another blonde (lots of blondes last night. I'm normally a redhead man, but there's been a streak of these lovely light-haired vixens lately) who I taught personally how to give a man an amazing blowjob, and who I can call up at just about any time to get one, helps give me social proof for all of the other women around me. There is no resistance, no insecurity, no negativity at all on anyone's part. Again, all of these women opened me. A mixed 5-set comes up as the bar is closing last night and tell me "We're here from Wisconsin on Spring Break!" Two of the three girls grab me and say "Picture!" to one of the guys with a camera. Right after both of them kiss me in a couple of different pictures (I made no moves to makeout with them. It was all them), one of them looks back at the guy with the camera and says "My boyfriend is not allowed to see these pictures!" I just laughed. Logistics don't work out for anyone last night for various reasons, partly because I had other awesome friends I ended up talking to until the sun came up, and awesome friends > new women, but I had the opportunity to pull, again, 3 (4 if I count Great Blowjob Girl) different quality women back to my place. I'm setting up times and dates for each of them later. I have no idea what I say anymore to women. About 10-20% is a mix of everything I've ever learned in Game; the vast majority is basically "You Love me. It's okay. I already know. You don't have to hide it. I Love you, too. You don't have to cover up and pretend to be cool just to impress me. Come on, kiss me!" with on-the-fly calibration. Guys I train now will ask me for specific lines and I get absolutely stumped. I make no attempts to ramp up attraction, to deal with Buying Temperature, to try and "figure out" logistics for the night. I Just Love Women, completely and unconditionally, and everything and everyone else literally falls into my lap exactly as it needs to and exactly 62

when it needs to. This is not logical, not explainable. I can't break it down step by step. Just Love Women. Let me make this extremely clear: Love does not mean being a pussy who can't close. Love does not mean that you can't still slam the biker-bitch in her up against your wall, before you command her to get down on her knees and suck your cock, because you understand that is what she truly needs in order to get wet. Love does not mean that you don't call her out on her "gold plated pussy" syndrome, and make her realize through your actions and emotions (with words at a distant third), and having other women around you, that she is never more valuable than you are. This is not the "romantic" love society wants us to believe in that has an opposite of hate, jealously, anger, neediness, and other bullshit built into it. There's a reason I use Love with a capital L. Other guys who are in Game have told me "You're starting to sound like a New Age hippie" whenever I talk like this. With all due respect, guys, I don't give a fuck. It works, and it works amazingly well with zero effort on my part. I never get "blown out" or "rejected". These concepts are foreign to me now. Negativity just does not exist when I go out. Situations that I would once upon a time ago perceive as such magically work themselves out. I get more women now more than any other time in my life. I truly don't need them for anything, and they just flow in and out of my bedroom and my life. I light up almost every one that I come into contact with now. I radiate joy. A few months ago, I thought that I was coming close to the peak of my Game. That there would be little else I could do to skyrocket my success even more. I was completely wrong. I get more women now more than any other time in my life. I truly don't need them for anything, and they just flow in and out of my bedroom and my life. I light up almost every one that I come into contact with now. I radiate joy. Loving women just for the sake of Love itself has eradicated every single fear, every single sticking point, every single resistance I have ever had. Ever. And I'm just getting started. You want to be a hurricane everywhere you go? Love women unconditionally while being completely direct and honest at all times with everyone. It's that fucking simple, gentlemen. Really." 63

Love is the answer, and you know this to be true. - John Lennon 0 comments

Sean on Pickup and Seduction Torrent Sites? I've been getting some questions about this, so let me answer. I FULLY support responsible file-sharing. I am an honored guest a couple of great torrent communities where guys who don't have thousands of dollars to waste finding out if certain products will help them. I upload the classes. I contribute and answer questions. I love that there are ways to spread the word. Everyone who makes pickup and seduction products is on these torrent sites. Difference between them and me is they go on covertly to download the competition's products and monitor feedback. I go on to boost my ego, spread some love, and make sure my podclasses get to people who need it the most. And to download Hypnotica's stuff (which I loved so much, I went and bought 2 copies... just because I'm a generous dude. :) One love, Sean

St. Patty's Day Success Stories from the UCP! We had a little challenge at the UCP - Ultimate Coaching Program this St. Patty's Day. Everyone was given a super-secret opening line (OK, a super-goofy opening line) guaranteed to get girls smiling and loving you, and everyone then competed to get their hands on a copy of the incredible 4-CD set of David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man - Teaching Sessions." Now it's time to announce the winners, and tell you their stories. First up, my man CJ Rackham from London UK. He's getting a copy of the CDs, and even better, never-ending fame as a cocksman who is now doing what he used to think was impossible. Take it away, CJ! Haha, I have a date ! There is this cute checkout girl at my local supermarket which I used for one of the genuine compliment 64

CJ Rackham, 42 London, UK

exercises last month... (I had told her she was "incredibly cute," and she said that made her day. ) Well, I hadn't seen this woman in about a month, but she was working at lunch today.. so I HAD to trump the "incredibly cute" compliment. Well, she spots me, and makes eye contact briefly, and I telegraph a slight double-take and veer over to her queue.. (haha, as if I didn't see her there..) As I'm waiting, sort of examining the various ads and stuff on the checkout, not forcing any eye contact because I can see her getting a little more nervous/flushed as I move up the queue (I can almost read her thoughts: "Whats this guy going to say to me now ?") So, its my turn to checkout next, we both smile at each other, and I say "Hi again - you know, you have the most beautiful eyes... Its a St. Patrick's day tradition that when you meet someone new, you have to tell them something you like about them.." She completely melted on the spot.. she lost her composure a bit and said, "I - I - don't know what to say," - she regained her composure and said "Thank you! - you just made my day - again!" We introduced each other, and I said "you know ... , I've been wanting to meet you for some time now, but I never see you in here... would you like to have coffee sometime ?" She said "Sure!" (as she looks for something to write on..) - I handed her pen and paper and she wrote her down her number... I'll be texting her in a few hours when she's off work to seal the deal - not to count my chickens, but I can tell already that this will be a no-flake meeting.. Sean, you do a great job at pushing us to push ourselves... keep the inspiration coming... - CJ Rackham, 42, London, UK Join the UCP - Ultimate Coaching Program and write your own success story today! 0 comments

FR: All You Need is Love This is from a friend who posted this on a private forum on a torrent site. I asked him if I could tell the story to the world, because the world needs to hear it. This is what he told me. "Spread the Love. Thanks for this, man. I really appreciate it. If it just changes the life of one man, it's all worth it."

Here is a 2-hour interview we did from my "True Stories of Real Heroes" series. The mp3 is a free download: http://www.websitetoolbox.com/mb/gettinggreatgirls?forum=113512 Here is his Field Report.

65

For the past several days, I have been something, not merely done something or tried something, that had been recommended to me in the past, but I that had never truly taken to heart: Love. Seriously guys, Love is all you need. When you have that and truly live that, pickup is a fucking joke. I work Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. Thursday I blast through a coffee shop and with zero hesitation open a blonde who's immediately into me. She was sitting, bored, studying, and all I did was make her laugh and smile. We're hanging out later this week. There were good times at work with other random girls later on, including one saying "I LOVE YOU!" all night long (she was fun later), but it's Sunday now and I don't remember most of them. That was just a test. Friday and Saturday night I went full on Loving everyone unconditionally. Men, women, drunks, bums, whoever. It didn't matter. I just pretended that every single person I met was a long-lost really awesome friend who I had forgotten everything about. Then, I pretended that I wasn't pretending. The result: Loving everyone, without question, without hesitation, without judgment, without fear. Friday night I opened zero, that's right, zero women. Why, you ask? Because I had several different women open me the entire night, one of whom actually ran Game on me: Tight: You're cute, and I love the way you dance! Sonorous: I'm a terrible dancer, and you know it. *wink* You're just saying that to get into my pants. It's okay, though, I Love you anyways *hug* Tight: You know me too well. Hey, meet my friends! Guys, girls, everyone in the group is into me. Another mixed 3-set walks up to me as the bar is closing, and the two girls just come on to me right there in front of their guy friend, who isn't caring at all. Right as they're both about to grab my phone so that they can invite me back to their after-party, Tight walks out with her friends, grabs my phone, punches in her number, and gives me the look of "You. Me. Later." I simply nod and see her walk away. Two more tried to make out with me. Yet another one offered herself home to me. That made 3 total. I didn't want or need anything from any of these women. I simply lit up their worlds, focusing purely on Loving them. Whether or not they loved me back did not change my internal state. I wish I could remember more and give more details, because I'm usually great at that, 66

but whenever I try to rack my brain and find out exactly what happened to explain the night, I just get this blur of awesome. I chose Tight to go home with and close because the logistics played themselves out best for her, and because she was the funniest one of the night. There was absolutely zero resistance in her. Let me run that by everyone again: An 8 opens me in front of all of her friends, grabs my phone later and drops in her number, and offers zero resistance in my bedroom. I did nothing but Love and flow. Last night was even better. A 3-set of 18-year-olds runs up to me, and the cutest one immediately just launches herself at me out of nowhere. I told her that she couldn't help but Love me as I vaulted her into my arms so that her friends could snap a picture of us. After a couple minutes of flirting and telling her to "get out of here!", she drops her number in my phone and kisses me. She comes back two more times, kissing me each time and leading both of her friends to me, and her friends casually let the "alpha female" of the group at me without any resistance. And, actually, as I write this, she just texted me. We're setting up a massage session later today. She needs one. I could always use one. Everyone wins. Another blonde I hadn't seen in months just grabs me last night and starts grinding with me while yelling in my ear (loud music): "I haven't seen you in months! We need to hang out at my place. Alone." I just smile, hand her my phone, and make plans with her for later. Yet another blonde comes up and talks about when we're hooking up, in front of lots of random guys. And finally, another blonde (lots of blondes last night. I'm normally a redhead man, but there's been a streak of these lovely light-haired vixens lately) who I taught personally how to give a man an amazing blowjob, and who I can call up at just about any time to get one, helps give me social proof for all of the other women around me. There is no resistance, no insecurity, no negativity at all on anyone's part. Again, all of these women opened me. A mixed 5-set comes up as the bar is closing last night and tell me "We're here from Wisconsin on Spring Break!" Two of the three girls grab me and say "Picture!" to one of the guys with a camera. Right after both of them kiss me in a couple of different pictures (I made no moves to makeout with them. It was all them), one of them looks back at the guy with the camera and says "My boyfriend is not allowed to see these pictures!" I just laughed. Logistics don't work out for anyone last night for various reasons, partly because I had other awesome friends I ended up talking to until the sun came up, and awesome friends > new women, but I had the opportunity to pull, again, 3 (4 if I count Great Blowjob Girl) different quality women back to my place. I'm setting up times and dates for each of them later. 67

I have no idea what I say anymore to women. About 10-20% is a mix of everything I've ever learned in Game; the vast majority is basically "You Love me. It's okay. I already know. You don't have to hide it. I Love you, too. You don't have to cover up and pretend to be cool just to impress me. Come on, kiss me!" with on-the-fly calibration. Guys I train now will ask me for specific lines and I get absolutely stumped. I make no attempts to ramp up attraction, to deal with Buying Temperature, to try and "figure out" logistics for the night. I Just Love Women, completely and unconditionally, and everything and everyone else literally falls into my lap exactly as it needs to and exactly when it needs to. This is not logical, not explainable. I can't break it down step by step. Just Love Women. Let me make this extremely clear: Love does not mean being a pussy who can't close. Love does not mean that you can't still slam the biker-bitch in her up against your wall, before you command her to get down on her knees and suck your cock, because you understand that is what she truly needs in order to get wet. Love does not mean that you don't call her out on her "gold plated pussy" syndrome, and make her realize through your actions and emotions (with words at a distant third), and having other women around you, that she is never more valuable than you are. This is not the "romantic" love society wants us to believe in that has an opposite of hate, jealously, anger, neediness, and other bullshit built into it. There's a reason I use Love with a capital L. Other guys who are in Game have told me "You're starting to sound like a New Age hippie" whenever I talk like this. With all due respect, guys, I don't give a fuck. It works, and it works amazingly well with zero effort on my part. I never get "blown out" or "rejected". These concepts are foreign to me now. Negativity just does not exist when I go out. Situations that I would once upon a time ago perceive as such magically work themselves out. I get more women now more than any other time in my life. I truly don't need them for anything, and they just flow in and out of my bedroom and my life. I light up almost every one that I come into contact with now. I radiate joy. A few months ago, I thought that I was coming close to the peak of my Game. That there would be little else I could do to skyrocket my success even more. I was completely wrong. I get more women now more than any other time in my life. I truly don't need them for anything, and they just flow in and out of my bedroom and my life. I light up almost every one that I come into contact with now. I radiate joy. Loving women just for the sake of Love itself has eradicated every single fear, every 68

single sticking point, every single resistance I have ever had. Ever. And I'm just getting started. You want to be a hurricane everywhere you go? Love women unconditionally while being completely direct and honest at all times with everyone. It's that fucking simple, gentlemen. Really."

Love is the answer, and you know this to be true. - John Lennon 0 comments

Sean on Pickup and Seduction Torrent Sites? I've been getting some questions about this, so let me answer. I FULLY support responsible file-sharing. I am an honored guest a couple of great torrent communities where guys who don't have thousands of dollars to waste finding out if certain products will help them. I upload the classes. I contribute and answer questions. I love that there are ways to spread the word. Everyone who makes pickup and seduction products is on these torrent sites. Difference between them and me is they go on covertly to download the competition's products and monitor feedback. I go on to boost my ego, spread some love, and make sure my podclasses get to people who need it the most. And to download Hypnotica's stuff (which I loved so much, I went and bought 2 copies... just because I'm a generous dude. :) One love, Sean

Why Women Don't Love You (you're not gonna like the answer!) Note: My new interview series, "True Stories of Real Heroes," which features regular guys like you and me, NOT pickup "gurus," talking about what they learned and what they do now that changed them from unhappy to happy with women, is FREE. The first interview, "Love is All You Need with Eric Invincible," is up now. What do you SEE when you look in another person's eyes? 69

You see the color and the shape. You see your idea of who this person is. You see the micro-movements that tell you what they are thinking. And you see yourself. The eyes are a window, and a mirror. When you look into a woman's eyes, you are seeing her, and you are seeing you. She is seeing you, and she is seeing her. And you, only you, have the power to put light on what you both see. You can darken the picture with hate, envy, greed, lust, and shame. In fact, you do. I do. It's all part of the feeling of being trapped in this meat puppet machine of body and brain. Our brains are machines of rationalization. And they spend most of their time rationalizing their own importance. That's why I make you READ about women. That's why I make you WRITE about women. And that's especially why I make you listen, with headphones, in quiet places, to my voice TALK to you about women. The voices never are never quiet in the dark. It takes light to silence them. Today you are going to find the source of that light. Today you are going to create a new picture of what you see, and what she sees. Today you will see the world like a photoshopped Playboy cover... with all the imperfections and problems and scars airbrushed out, and only an idea of perfection (and it can only be an idea) left behind. You decide what she sees when you look at her, and she looks at you. YOU choose it, not her. And as for what you choose, it's simple, isn't it? Love. What you want most, pure and clear, is Love. Not clingy, needy, "I'll die without you" love. That is just greed and fear, and you know this, because you've felt that love for women before. No, the Love I mean is the Capital "L" love. The Buddha Love. The Jesus Love. The Alpha Dog Love. Today is a religious holiday for many people. Today is a day to reflect on Love. And it doesn't matter what your beliefs are, if you think God is a crutch, or a myth, or a concept to measure our pain. 70

All that matters is that you believe in a higher intelligence. It can be science, it can be Shiva, or it can be Mother Nature. Whatever, it is only Love. Love is the one thing we all need to survive. You want women to LOVE you. Not love you. LOVE you. You want them to glow with appreciation and joy when they are around you. You want that feeling like Xmas morning and your birthday and graduation day all in one every time you step foot in a club or a Starbucks or a Barnes and Noble. You want Love, because without it, like a plant, you wither. You turn towards the sun, striving in your own phototropic way, but find the clouds and shadows blocking all the light. You wither. You die. And so does she. Today you have but a simple task. Give Love. Give Love. It is not through actions. It is not through charity. It is not good works. It starts in your heart, your breath, and your eyes. You have the Alpha Dog Workouts. You know how to see the truth of the things you look at. You know how to be present. And you even know how to put your own awareness into another. Today you add to that. When you look today, you look with Pure Love. It's simple. You already Love. You do not need reasons why. You give Love, because you will receive Love. You have to give whatever it is you most want. I mean, shit, we all learn that the first time we stumble around trying to unbuckle a belt on a girl while thinking about how to lick around her nipple without losing focus. Reciprocity. If I turn her on or get her off, she'll do the same for me, right? Fair deal, easy peasy Japanesey. That concept of reciprocity extends to EVERYTHING in your life. Look on others with 71

Love, with no NEED for attachment or possession or claims of ownership. Give Love like water. It is an endless resource, and it is replenished only by the giving. As the water on earth is pulled back into the skies and given again as rain, so your love is gifted upon you when you give it up. This is your challenge, and it's not a small one. I'm asking you to Love in spite of all the reasons you have not to. You've been hurt. You've been burned. Life is not fair, and your heart has shrunk Grinch-like in response to all the pain. In the words of the great Stephane Hermon, "Surrender it." All you can give is Love. And what you give is EXACTLY what you receive. If you want women to use you and trick you and fool you into thinking they like you for who you are when they really just need to use you to make themselves feel better, keep doing that same thing yourself. In fact, that's pretty much the definition of every single pickup technique ever taught, and that's why they never lead to happiness. Give what you want, and you will do more than want it. You will get it. Having women love you isn't hard, it's easy. But it's easy the same way swimming is. Until you learn to surrender, and find that all your fighting and struggling and flailing about is only making you sink, it's impossible. But when you surrender, you float. When you have faith, you are there. Take 2 hours today to listen to this interview I did with my friend Eric. He enlightened me and clarified the concept of Love, and honored me and you by sharing his new wisdom in an interview he asked me to share with you. http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/gettinggreatgirls/vpost?id=2585105 Listen, and post your notes and reactions on the LVO3 Forum. http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/gettinggreatgirls/vpost?id=2585105 Then go, and Love. It is in you. One love, Sean P.S. I would like you to do me a favor. Take 1 minutes today and tell me were you would 72

most like to spend a weekend this summer. We are planning our next event, and we want to pick the sexiest place we can so you get the full experience of joy with us. It's one thing to attend a seminar where you sit in a dingy hotel conference room all day at an airport Marriott and take notes on tiny little hotel notepads. It's another to learn about beautiful women and then walk outside and find yourself surrounded by those very objects of study. Take one minute and let us know where YOU want to go this summer: http://seanmessenger.com 0 comments

For Real? Sean Messenger is on Torrent Sites and Uploading His Stuff for File-Sharing? Yep. Let me tell you a quick story. I am old. Old enough that when Napster hit it big, I was working my first real job (webmaster for a publishing company in Connecticut. I miss that job title. Webmaster. Argh!) And I LOVED it. I was a music geek, and this was like having an endless library of songs, and an guide to take me to new places. I liked the Dead, and that led me to Widespread Panic. I downloaded their songs. I loved them. I bought the albums. I saved up to go to a concert. I had an amazing time, and now have a lovely place in my heart that warms when I hear a Widespread song. It's something like Love. Napster fed me love. I needed that music. I needed it to live, fully. And the fact that I didn't have thousands of dollars to spend on it could not stop me. I didn't do it to POSSESS things unfairly. I did it to feed my head and feed my soul, and to find what I needed and support it so I could get more. Then Lars went apeshit, and it all fell apart. :) Torrent sites exist because we all created the economy for them to exist. The information I teach should be given to every man as a birthright. I am the Papa Bear. I am the big brother we all wish we had (including me). And I should be able to give this knowledge about what I've learned from my life, and from my teachers, to everyone. But I can't. I need to pay to keep websites running. I need to pay to keep my roof patched so it doesn't rain on my beloved MacBook. I need to pay to keep my dog chewing expensive treats instead of furniture. 73

And I need to keep teaching. As much as you need to keep learning. I will support the men who do whatever it takes to live a good life. I will make damn sure you can get my classes. The torrent sites are no different than a taste test, the same as it is when you buy a podclass, or join the UCP here. If you try it and don't like it, you pay nothing. If you try it and like it, I know you as a man will honor that gift by supporting my efforts to give more. Why would I hold back? Why would I keep this stuff from getting to everyone? So I can get rich? FUCK. RICH. And FUCK all the gurus out there who put outrageous price tags on bullshit products made by other people and labelled with their name so they can capitalize on a little fame. I say this with love and righteous anger. What you reap is what you sow, mother fuckers. You want to be good with women? Try being good with PEOPLE first. Be a man who takes care of everyone like family. Welcome to my family. However you got here, you are home now. One love, Sean 0 comments

74