Sardar Jokes

Sardar Jokes : Fresh Sardar Jokes 28 05 2008

Boss : Where were you born ? sardar : Punjab. Boss : which part ? sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab. _________________ 2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car. Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more. _________________ Sardar : What is the name of your car ? Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”. Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai. _________________ Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto. sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler. _________________ Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass. _________________ Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. _________________ On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring. Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile. _________________ Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die? Patient : Yes. A good doctor. _________________ How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ? Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it…. _________________ Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto? Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’ _________________ Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA _________________

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai. Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I’m falling in love. _________________ Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3? Santa: For you and your parents _________________ Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken. Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one. _________________ A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya. _________________ At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? _________________ In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …. Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup… _________________ Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated… drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge! _________________ Banta: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio! _________________ Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: Tipu’s skeleton. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child _________________ If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto? Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’ _________________ Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA _________________ Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai. Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Santa: I’m falling in love. _________________ Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3? Santa: For you and your parents _________________ Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken. Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one. _________________ A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya. _________________ At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? _________________ In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …. Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup… _________________ Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated… drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge! _________________ Banta: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio! _________________ Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: Tipu’s skeleton. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child _________________ The Russians dug 1000 ft in the ground and found copper wire; they declared Russia had electricity 1000 years back. US dug and found optical fiber and declared US had telephone 2000 years back. A sardar in India found nothing. Then said oye we had wireless technology 5000 years back. _________________ Sardar: Last night I saw an English movie .It had no scene nor no sound. Friend Sardar: wow tell me the name of the movie. I too want to see it. Sardar: Please Insert Disc. _________________ DIFFERENT SARDAR’S..

1.Student Sardar: Me fail English!!!!! Thats Unpossible. 2.Police :we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? Thief Sardar : Yes. (lie dectector blows up) 3.Father Sardar : Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try 4.Patient Sardar: In my dreams monkey play football every night. Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight. Patient Sardar: Can I start from tomorrow because tonight is Final. _________________ SARDAR’S BIRTHDAY.. Sardar went for an interview, The question was when is your birthday? Sardar: 19th january. Interviewer: which year? Sardar: Nonsense..Every Year. _________________ TICKET TICKET.. Sardar: should I buy tickets to my children. Conductor: yes only if they are above 8. Sardar: Thank god I have only 6 children. _________________ SARDAR IN AMERICA.. Three Sardarjis went for a tour to America.They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel. After taking rest they started for a local visit. While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out. After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30. Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble. After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, “I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only”. Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor. Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story. The third one said, “I forgot the room key which is on the manager’s table”. They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said, ” I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end”.

They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said, ” The keys were in my pocket only”. With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor. After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said, ” I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only”. Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied: “This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this…!!!”

Sardar Jokes : Funny and Humorous Jokes 20 03 2008

Sardar jokes-Nobel prize A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”"How?” asks the man, puzzled.”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.” Sardar jokes-Suger level Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly. Sardar jokes-Engine failure Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!” Sardar jokes-Puzzle Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you

doing??”"Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!! Sardar jokes-Going home early Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!” Sardar jokes-Hanging for life There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping. Sardar jokes - Weight loss The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home. Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”.2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?”Santa replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc….”Saint Peter lets him in without another word” Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!”On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, “Oh sure.”The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. “The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? “Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”

Sardar jokes-Who dunnit The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it. Sardar jokes Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her! Sardar jokes-The archery contest Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY Santa banta sardar jokes Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?” I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything” Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?” Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes! Short sardar jokes - santa banta Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one.”Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.

Sadar Jokes : Santa Singh at KBC 27 01 2008

JOKES NO 1 Santa Singh at KBC Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”. Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next…

Amitabh Bachchan: Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par… Santa Singh gets Tense… Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan ? Your options are… A) Amitabh Bachchan B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar) D) Sanjeev kumar Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He’s quite sure that Santa will opt for option A] But Santa is surprisingly still confused… Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai. Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure. Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge? Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50… Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye… Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options: B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar) Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline… Santa Singh : I would like to use my last life line too - Phone A Friend… Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge?? Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga… Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan (Thanks to AirTel ) Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?” receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints.. GUESS WHY????????? ?? Scroll Down | | | | V | | | | V Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?” JOKES NO 2 One day a dog was running behind a Santa… But Santa was laughing. Banta asked, “Why you are so happy? He said… “Ah Ah Ah….I have an Airtel mobile with me…But Still Hutch network is following me..” JOKES NO 3 Sardar SITTING ON THE TOP OF MOUNTAIN AND STUDYING..WHEN A PERSON ASKED WHAT HE WAS DOING..HE REPLIED ..Oye!!Higher studies Yaar…!!! SARDAR standing on platform suddenly jumps on railway track. Man says sardarji mar jaoge.

Sardar : Marega to tu. Suna nahi train platform par aa rahi hai.. An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. A sardar was observing him.Suddenly a star falls, Sardar shouts: Kya nishana lagaya Boss… JOKES NO 4 A Sardar Prays Daily for 2 hours”Hey VaheGuru meri Lottery lagade.After 11 yrs VaheGuru angrily appears & says-Abe Sardar 1 bar ticket to le… JOKES NO 5 Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: “Can I take this train to Ludhiana?” “No,” answers the railway man. “Can I?” asks Gani Singh.

Sardar Jokes : Sardarji and Bus Acciedent 2 02 2008

One day a bus gets an accident which were filled up with some sardarjis. Then one of the Saradarji starts to cry very loudly saying I have lost my hand, I have lost my hand… After the accident one of the survived sardarji says to him, “why are you crying control yourself, don’t cry, see that man has lost his head but he hasn’t utter even a single word, how silent he is…”