Report in Counseling Psychology. Transactional Analysis

Transactional Analysis Report By: Dennice Reeze Zaballero Counseling Psychology Wed.(10am-1pm)

Successful Professional Salespeople… • Are psychologists first, being students of ‘people’, sensitive to feelings and emotions, not anxious to rush into a presentation until they know the kind of person they are dealing with.

What Does That Mean? • This morning, John said to Mary, “Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?” Explain what John meant likely depended on how he asked the question.

Honey, Have You Seen My Car Keys? • Harry and Wilma are husband and wife. One morning, Harry is running late for work and can’t find his car keys. When he asks for Wilma’s assistance in finding them, they eventually get into an argument. Who’s fault was it?

Well, It Worked the Last Time • Charlene had a very successful sales call when she called on Herman. She had ‘tons’ of information and Herman was seemingly interested in every detail, every number, every fact. When she gave the same presentation on her next stop with Paul it backfired. What went wrong and why?

HISTORICAL BACKGROUND

Transactional analysis was originally developed by the late Eric Berne (1961), who was trained as a Freudian psychoanalyst and psychiatrist. TA evolved out of Berne’s dissatisfaction with the slowness of psychoanalysis in curing people of their problems. Berne’s major objections to psychoanalysis were that it was time consuming, complex, and poorly communicated to clients. Historically, TA developed as an extension of psychoanalysis with concepts and techniques especially designed for group treatment. Berne discovered that by using TA his clients were making significant changes in their lives. As his theory of personality evolved, Berne parted ways with psychoanalysis to devote himself full time to the theory and practice of TA.

Four Phases of Development • The first phase (1955-1962) began with Berne’s identification of the ego states (Parent, Adult, and Child), which provided a perspective from which to explain thinking, feeling, and behaving. He decided that the way to study personality was to observe here-and-now phenomena such as the client’s voice, gestures, and vocabulary.

• The second phase (1962-1966) focused on transactions and “games.” It was during this period that TA became popular because of its straightforward vocabulary and because people could recognize their own games.

• The third phase (1966-1970) gave attention to life scripts and script analysis. A life script is an internal plan that determines the direction of one’s life.

• The fourth phase (1970 to the present) is characterized by the incorporation of new techniques into TA practice (such as those from the encounter group movement, Gestalt therapy, and psychodrama).

Transactional Analysis • A model for explaining why and how: – People think like they do – People act like they do – People interact/communicate with others • Based on published ‘psychological’ work such as: – Games People Play (Dr. Eric Berne) – I’m OK - - You’re OK (Dr. Tom Harris) – Born to Win (Dr. Dorothy Jongeward)

Traditional Theory. Our Brain (according to Berne) • •

Determines what we think and how we act Acts like a tape recorder while recording 1) Events 2) Associated feelings • Has 3 distinct parts or ego states 1) Parent 2) Adult 3) Child

Transactional Analysis PAC Model • Three Basic Concepts: Parent, Adult and Child • Transactions: Among P, A and C • P < -- > P • A < -- > A • C < -- > C • There are 9 possible transactions

EGO STATE is a set of related thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in which part of an individual’s personality is manifested at a given time. (Stewart & Joines, 1987)

The Three Ego States • Parent- “Do as I do” • Child- “What shall I do?” • Adult- “I will be frank with you”

Parent Ego State • Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on messages or lessons learned from parents and other ‘parental’ or authoritarian sources. • Shoulds and should nots; oughts and ought nots; always and never. • Prejudicial views (not based on logic or facts) on things such as: religion dress salespeople traditions work products money raising children companies • Nurturing views (sympathetic, caring views) • Critical views (fault finding, judgmental, condescending views)

Adult Ego State • Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on objective analysis of information (data, facts) • Make decisions based on logic, computations, probabilities, etc. (not emotion)

Child Ego State • Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on child-like emotions, impulses, feelings we have experienced • Child-like examples Impulsive Self-centered Angry Fearful

Happy Pleasure seeking Rebellious Happy

Curious Eager to please

Ego Portraits • People have favorite, preferred ego state, depicted by larger circle in a diagram Parent Adult Child P

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The Need for Strokes • Humans need to be stimulated physically, socially, and intellectually. As we grow and develop, we need to be recognized for who we are and what we do. This need for stimulation and recognition is referred to as “strokes”; a stroke is any act of recognition or source of stimulation.

Classification of Strokes • Conditional strokes say “I will like you if and when you are a certain way”; they are received for doing something. • Unconditional strokes say “I am willing to accept you for who you are and for being who you are, and we can negotiate our differences.”

• Positive strokes say “I like you,” and they may be expressed by warm physical touches, accepting words, appreciation, a smile, and friendly gestures. These strokes are necessary for the development of psychologically healthy people.

• Negative strokes say “I don’t like you,” and they too can be expressed both verbally and nonverbally. Interestingly, negative strokes are considered preferable to no strokes at all— that is, to being ignored.

• TA theory pays attention to how people structure their time to get strokes. It also looks at the life plan of individuals to determine what kind of strokes they both get and give. According to TA, it behooves us to become aware of the strokes we survive on, the strokes that we both ask for and receive, and the strokes that we give to others.

Injunctions and Counterinjucntions • The Gouldings’ redecision work is grounded in the TA concepts of injunctions and early decisions. When parents are excited by a child’s behavior, the messages given are often permissions. However, when parents feel threatened by a child’s behavior, the messages expressed are often injunctions, which are issued from the parents’ Child ego state. Such messages—expressions of disappointment, frustration, anxiety, and unhappiness—establish the “don’ts” by which children learn to live.

Injunctions and Counterinjucntions Profound list of general injunctions: “Don’t.” “Don’t be.” “Don’t be close.” “Don’t be separate from me.” “Don’t be the sex you are.” “Don’t want.” “Don’t need.”

Injunctions and Counterinjucntions “Don’t think.” “Don’t feel.” “Don’t grow up.” “Don’t be a child.” “Don’t succeed.” “Don’t be you.” “Don’t be sane.” “Don’t be well.” “Don’t belong”

Injunctions and Counterinjucntions When parents observe their sons or daughters not succeeding, or not being comfortable with who they are, they attempt to “counter” the effect of the earlier messages with counterinjunctions. These messages come from the parents’ Parent ego state and are given at the social level. They convey the “shoulds,” “oughts,” and “dos” of parental expectations.

Injunctions and Counterinjucntions Examples of counterinjunctions are; “Be perfect.” “Try hard.” “Hurry up.” “Be strong.” “Please me.” The problem with these counterinjunctions is that no matter how much we try to please we feel as though we still are not doing enough or being enough.

Decisions and Redecisions • Transactional analysis emphasizes our ability to become aware of decisions that govern our behavior and the capacity to make new decisions that will beneficially alter the course of our life.

Decisions and Redecisions • The following list, based on the Gouldings’ work (1978, 1979), includes common injunctions and some possible decisions that could be made in response to them.

Decisions and Redecisions 1. “Don’t make mistakes.” Children who hear and accept this message often fear taking risks that may make them look stupid. They tend to equate making mistakes with being a failure. • Possible decisions: “I’m scared of making the wrong decision, so I simply won’t decide.” “Because I made a dumb choice, I won’t decide on anything important again!” “I’d better be perfect if I hope to be accepted.” 2. “Don’t be.” This lethal message is often given nonverbally by the way parents hold (or don’t hold) the child. The basic message is “I wish you hadn’t been born.” • Possible decisions: “I’ll keep trying until I get you to love me.”

Decisions and Redecisions 3. “Don’t be close.” Related to this injunction are the messages “Don’t trust” and “Don’t love.” • Possible decisions: “I let myself love once, and it backfired. Never again!” “Because it’s scary to get close, I’ll keep myself distant.” 4. “Don’t be important.” If you are constantly discounted when you speak, you are likely to believe that you are unimportant. • Possible decisions: “If, by chance, I ever do become important, I’ll play down my accomplishments.”

Decisions and Redecisions 5. “Don’t be a child.” This message says: “Always act adult!” “Don’t be childish.” “Keep control of yourself.” • Possible decisions: “I’ll take care of others and won’t ask for much myself.” “I won’t let myself have fun.” 6. “Don’t grow.” This message is given by the frightened parent who discourages the child from growing up in many ways. • Possible decisions: “I’ll stay a child, and that way I’ll get my parents to approve of me.” “I won’t be sexual, and that way my father won’t push me away.”

Decisions and Redecisions 7. “Don’t succeed.” If children are positively reinforced for failing, they may accept the message not to seek success. • Possible decisions: “I’ll never do anything perfect enough, so why try?” “I’ll succeed, no matter what it takes.” “If I don’t succeed, then I’ll not have to live up to high expectations others have of me.” 8. “Don’t be you.” This involves suggesting to children that they are the wrong sex, shape, size, color, or have ideas or feelings that are unacceptable to parental figures. • Possible decisions: “They’d love me only if I were a boy (girl), so it’s impossible to get their love.” “I’ll pretend I’m a boy (girl).”

Decisions and Redecisions 9. “Don’t be sane” and “Don’t be well.” Some children get attention only when they are physically sick or acting crazy. • Possible decisions: “I’ll get sick, and then I’ll be included.” “I am crazy.” 10. “Don’t belong.” This injunction may indicate that the family feels that the child does not belong anywhere. • Possible decisions: “I’ll be a loner forever.” “I’ll never belong anywhere.”

Decisions and Redecisions Whatever injunctions people have received, and whatever the resulting life decisions were, transactional analysis maintains that people can make substantive life changes by changing their decisions—by redeciding in the moment. A basic assumption of TA is that anything that has been learned can be relearned.

Basic Psychological Life Positions and Lifescripts Decisions about oneself, one’s world, and one’s relationships to others are crystallized during the first 5 years of life. Such decisions are basic for the formulation of a life position, which develops into the roles of the lifescript. Generally, once a person has decided on a life position, there is a tendency for it to remain fixed unless there is some intervention, such as therapy, to change the underlying decisions. Games are often used to support and maintain life positions and to play out lifescripts.

4 Basic Life Positions • • • •

1. I’m OK—You’re OK. 2. I’m OK—You’re not OK. 3. I’m not OK—You’re OK. 4. I’m not OK—You’re not OK.

4 Basic Life Positions The I’m OK—You’re OK position is generally game-free. It is the belief that people have basic value, worth, and dignity as human beings. That people are OK is a statement of their essence, not necessarily their behavior. This position is characterized by an attitude of trust and openness, a willingness to give and take, and an acceptance of others as they are. People are close to themselves and to others. There are no losers, only winners.

4 Basic Life Positions I’m OK—You’re not OK is the position of people who project their problems onto others and blame them, put them down, and criticize them. The games that reinforce this position involve a self-styled superior (the “I’m OK”) who projects anger, disgust, and scorn onto a designated inferior, or scapegoat (the “You’re not OK”). This position is that of the person who needs an underdog to maintain his or her sense of “OKayness.”

4 Basic Life Positions I’m not OK—You’re OK is known as the depressive position and is characterized by feeling powerless in comparison with others. Typically such people serve others’ needs instead of their own and generally feel victimized. Games supporting this position include “Kick me” and “Martyr”—games that support the power of others and deny one’s own.

4 Basic Life Positions I’m not OK—You’re not OK quadrant is known as the position of futility and frustration. Operating from this place, people have lost interest in life and may see life as totally without promise. This self-destructive stance is characteristic of people who are unable to cope in the real world, and it may lead to extreme withdrawal, a return to infantile behavior, or violent behavior resulting in injury or death of themselves or others

4 Basic Life Positions In reality, each of us has a favorite position we operate from under stress. The challenge is to become aware of how we are attempting to make life real through our basic life existential position and create an alternative.

Lifescripts Or plan for life. A personal lifescript is an unconscious life plan made in childhood, reinforced by the parents, “justified” by subsequent events, and culminating in a chosen alternative (Stewart & Joines, 1987). This script, as we have seen, is developed early in life as a result of parental teaching (such as injunctions and counterinjunctions) and the early decisions we make. Among these decisions is selecting the basic psychological position, or dramatic role, that we play in our lifescript. Indeed, lifescripts are comparable to a dramatic stage production, with a cast of characters, a plot, scenes, dialogues, and endless rehearsals. In essence, the lifescript is a blueprint that tells people where they are going in life and what they will do when they arrive.

Human Interaction Analysis • • • •

A transaction = any interaction or communication between 2 people. People send and receive messages out of and into their different ego states How people say something (what others hear?) just as important as what is said Types of communication, interactions 1) Complementary 2) Crossed 3) Ulterior

Intonations: It’s the Way You Say It! Placement of the emphasis

What it means

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? I was going to take someone else. Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? Instead of the guy you were going with. Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? I’m trying to find a reason why I shouldn’t take you. Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? Do you have a problem with me? Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? Instead of going on your own. Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? Instead of lunch tomorrow. Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight? Not tomorrow night.

Transactional Analysis To analyze a transaction you need to see and feel what is being said as well. • Only 7% of meaning is in the words spoken. • 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said). • 55% is in facial expression.

Kinds of Transactions Transactional analysis - Transactions between people are seen as having 3 levels: • Complementary – both people are operating from the same ego state • Crossed – the other person reacts from an unexpected ego state • Ulterior – two ego states within the same person but one disguises the other

Complementary ‘Transactions’ • Interactions, responses, actions regarded as appropriate and expected from another person. • Parallel communication arrows, communication continues. Example 1: #1 What time do you have? #2 I’ve got 11:15. P

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Complementary ‘Transactions’ cont’d Example 2:

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#1

You’re late again!

#2

I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.

Crossed ‘Transactions’ • •

Interactions, responses, actions NOT regarded as appropriate or expected from another person. Crossed communication arrows, communication breakdown.

Example 1

#1 #2

What time do you have? There’s a clock on the wall, why don’t you figure it out yourself?

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Crossed ‘Transactions’ cont’d Example 2

#1 #2

You’re late again! Yeah, I know, I had a flat tire.

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Ulterior ‘Transactions’ • Interactions, responses, actions which are different from those explicitly stated Example

#1

How about coming up to my room and listening to some music?

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Modern Theory 7 Element Model •

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parent Parent is now commonly represented as a circle with four quadrants: Nurturing - Nurturing (positive) and Spoiling (negative). Controlling - Structuring (positive) and Critical (negative). adult Adult remains as a single entity, representing an 'accounting' function or mode, which can draw on the resources of both Parent and Child. child Child is now commonly represented as circle with four quadrants: Adapted - Co-operative (positive) and Compliant/Resistant (negative). Free - Spontaneous (positive) and Immature (negative).

Behavioral Modes Model •ineffective Modes reflect and invite a 'Not OK' response, and •the four effective Modes reflect and invite an 'I'm OK, You're OK' response

Structuring Mode - This is the boundary setting Mode, offering constructive criticism. In this Mode we are caring whilst firm. Supporting Mode - When in this Mode we are affirming and considerate. Co-creating Mode - From this Mode we develop ways to help us live and work with others. Playful Mode - This is the creative, fun loving, curious and energetic Mode. We can confront people playfully as a way of dealing with a difficult situation. This can diffuse a potential problem and get the message across.

Four methods of understanding & predicting human behavior: • Structural analysis – within the person • Transactional analysis – 2 or more people • Game analysis – understanding transactions that lead to bad feelings • Script analysis – understand a person’s life plan

Structural analysis is a tool by which a person becomes aware of the content and functioning of his or her Parent, Adult, and Child. TA clients learn how to identify their own ego states. Structural analysis helps them resolve patterns that they feel stuck with. It allows them to find out which ego state their behavior is based on. With that knowledge they can determine their options.

Structural analysis • Two problems related to the structure of personality can be considered by structural analysis: contamination and exclusion.

Contamination exists when the contents of one ego state are mixed with those of another.

Contamination & Exclusion • The word contamination for many conjures up the idea of disease. • This occurs when we talk as if something is a fact or a reality when really this is a belief. Racism is an example of this.

Parent Contamination

Child Contamination

Double Contamination

CONTAMINATION & EXCLUSION Here are some statements reflecting contamination from the Parent: “Don’t mix with people who are not of our kind”; “Never trust Italians”; “Watch out for mechanics; they’ll cheat you every time”; “ You can’t depend on teenagers.” The following statements reflect contamination from the Child: “Everyone’s always picking on me. Nobody treats me right”; “Anything I want I should get right now”; “Who could possibly ever want to be my friend?

CONTAMINATION & EXCLUSION Exclusion exists when, for example, an Excluding Child ego state can “block out” the Parent or when an Excluding Parent ego state can block out the Child—that is, when rigid ego-state boundaries do not allow for free movement. The person may be restricted to relating primarily as Parent, as Child, or as Adult. . Such people may be judgmental, moralistic, and demanding of others. They often behave in a domineering and authoritarian manner.

Game analysis Game analysis - ulteriorly motivated transactions that appear complimentary on the surface but end in bad feelings: • 1st Degree games – minor upset, played socially end up with minor discomfort • 2nd Degree games – more intimate end up w/bad feelings • 3rd Degree games - usually involve physical injury

Some commonly found games • • • • • • • • •

Here are some of the most commonly found themes of games described in Games People Play by Eric Berne: YDYB: Why Don't You, Yes But. Historically, the first game discovered. IFWY: If It Weren't For You WAHM: Why does this Always Happen to Me? (setting up a selffulfilling prophecy) SWYMD: See What You Made Me Do UGMIT: You Got Me Into This LHIT: Look How Hard I've Tried ITHY: I'm Only Trying to Help You LYAHF: Let's You and Him Fight (staging a love triangle)

Why Don't You/Yes But White: I wish I could lose some weight. Black: Why don't you join a gym? White: Yes but, I can't afford the payments for a gym. Black: Why don't you speed walk around your block after you get home from work? White: Yes but, I don't dare walk alone in my neighborhood after dark. Black: Why don't you take the stairs at work instead of the elevator? White: Yes but, after my knee surgery, it hurts too much to walk that many flights of stairs. Black: Why don't you change your diet? White: Yes but, my stomach is sensitive and I can tolerate only certain foods.

Typical Games • Between A shop keeper and a house wife: • “This one is better, but you cannot afford it” • Between A Teacher and a Student: • “This is a good topic, but you cannot handle it.” • Between an Expert and a Candidate: • “What you just said is totally wrong”

Script analysis Everyone develops a life script by age 5 & these scripts determine how one interacts with others based upon the interpretation of external events. • A negative life script occurs when the person receives lots of injunctions by the parents that used the word DON’T.

Script analysis Common negative life scripts: • Never – one never gets to do what one wants • Until – one must wait until a certain time or until something is done to be able to do something they want to do • Always – one must continue to do what one has always done

Script analysis • After – a difficulty is expected after a certain event • Open-ended – one does not know what to do after a given time • Mini-scripts: Hurry up! Try harder! Be perfect! Be strong! Please someone! These drivers allow for temporary escape from life scripts.

THE THERAPEUTIC PROCESS

THERAPEUTIC GOALS • To help clients make new decisions about their current behavior and the direction of their lives. • Being a catalyst to enable clients to mobilize their efforts. • Helping clients obtain a friendly “divorce” from their parents. • Helping clients break through a series of impasses that stem from injunctions and early decisions.

THERAPIST’S FUNCTION AND ROLE •The role of the therapist is largely to pay attention to didactic and cognitive issues. •The counselor assists clients in discovering the disadvantageous conditions of the past under which they made certain early decisions, adopted life plans, and developed strategies in dealing with people that they might now wish to reconsider.

THERAPIST’S FUNCTION AND ROLE •The counselor’s function is to create a climate in which people can discover for themselves how the games they play support chronic bad feelings and how they hold onto these feelings to support their lifescript and early decisions. •Another function of the TA therapist is to challenge clients to discover and experiment with more effective ways of being. The role of the therapist is to help individuals acquire the tools necessary to effect change.

THERAPIST’S FUNCTION AND ROLE •The key job of the counselor is to help clients discover their inner power to change by making more appropriate decisions now, as opposed to continuing to live by archaic decisions they made in childhood.

•The counselor’s real job is to allow clients to find their own power.

CLIENT’S EXPERIENCE IN THERAPY. •One basic prerequisite for being a TA client is the capacity and willingness to understand and accept a therapeutic contract. The contract contains a specific statement of objectives that the client will attain and the criteria to determine whether these goals have been effectively met.

CLIENT’S EXPERIENCE IN THERAPY. •Contracts place the responsibility on clients for clearly defining what, how, and when they want to change. •Contracting allows for a more equal footing between client and therapist. Contracting for change minimizes the potential power struggles between the therapist and client.

SUMMARY •Transactional analysis is grounded on the assumption that we make current decisions based on past premises—premises that were at one time appropriate to our survival needs but that may no longer be valid. TA emphasizes the cognitive, rational, and behavioral aspects of the therapeutic process. More specifically, it stresses the capacity of the person to change decisions and is oriented toward increasing awareness with the goal of enabling people to make new decisions and thereby alter their existence. To achieve this goal, TA clients learn how to recognize the three ego states (Parent, Adult, and Child) in which they function. They also learn how their current behavior is affected by the rules they received and incorporated as children and how they can identify the lifescript that determines their actions. Early in life each of us fashions a script that we carry out, usually without awareness.

SUMMARY •TA emphasizes that as children we reacted to environmental stresses, received injunctions, and then made early decisions about self and others based on such messages. Such basic decisions show up in our current ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. TA therapists encourage clients to recall and re-experience situations in childhood where faulty learning originated. Ultimately, clients come to realize that they have the power to re-decide and initiate a new direction in life and that they can change what is not working while retaining what serves them well.

SUMMARY •TA therapists are guided in their work by the contracts their clients develop with them. In carrying out this therapeutic work, counselors can employ a variety of procedures. Some of these are structural analysis, transactional analysis, role playing, family modeling, analysis of games and rackets, teaching, and script analysis. TA’s concepts and techniques can be adapted to individual, group, marital, and family therapy. They can also be applied to a wide range of clients.

Key Concept • Transactional Analysis is effectively a language within a language; a language of true meaning, feeling and motive. • It can help you in every situation, firstly through being able to understand more clearly what is going on, and secondly, by virtue of this knowledge, we give ourselves choices of what ego states to adopt, which signals to send, and where to send them. • This enables us to make the most of all our communications and therefore create, develop and maintain better relationships.

Thank you for listening! 