Proper Voice Tonality Notes

! ! I. The Basics ! !

Proper Voice Tonality Notes

a. Slow things down. This shows that you are not in a hurry and that you expect people to listen to you. b. Pause to create tension. Pausing creates anticipation, especially before a punch line. Example: “Hey (pause) this is really random (pause) but you are absolutely (pause) adorable.” ‘Adorable’ is the punch line in this case. c. Minimise the use of “um”, “uh” and “like”. Instead use pauses when you are trying to think of what to say next.

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d. Be authoritative and project your voice. If you talk in a low voice and people can’t hear you, it communicates that you don’t think what you have to say is important. Being loud and authoritative shows dominance (not overly loud). e. Have variations in your tonality. Don’t be monotone. Sometimes talk faster. Sometimes slower. Sometimes lower. Sometimes higher.

! ! ! II. What does your voice convey to women? ! a. Higher pitch = seeking rapport (can also show genuine interest) ! b. Neutral pitch = neutral rapport (neither breaking nor seeking rapport) ! c. Lower pitch = breaking rapport (or non-neediness) ! ! ! III. Your Tonality During Phases of the Interaction !

If you think of interactions in terms of phases, such as attraction phase, comfort phase, and seduction phase; change your pace (speed at which you speak) and tonality throughout the phases.

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a. Attraction phase = faster pace, higher pitch (can convey fun and playfulness)

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b. Comfort phase = normal pace, neutral pitch (can convey that you are listening and getting to know her)

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c. Seduction phase = slower pace, lower pitch (can convey sexiness and arousal)

! Keep in mind these are just general guidelines and do not have to be followed exact. ! ! IV. Other Non Verbals !

a. Waving her over and signaling her to come talk to you. Holding out your hand and signaling for her to grab it and then spinning her or taking her to the dance floor.

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b. Using your phone to open. Type in your phone, “too loud to talk, but you should flirt with me” and show it to her. Or if the girl is on her phone you can use “don’t want to interrupt, but you are super cute”.

! ! ! V. Assignments !

a. Pay attention to your voice tonality, the speed in which you talk, your pauses, your “ums” and “uhs” and notice what you are conveying when you interact with people.

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b. Focus on slowing things down, using pauses, being louder and more authoritative, and eliminating “uhs” and “ums”. Focus on these not only while you in “set” and approaching, but also when you are talking to anyone at all throughout the week.

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c. Overdue it. Pause longer than natural. Talk slower than natural. Speak louder than natural. Experiment with it and overdue and pay attention to how people react. Do they respond better? Do they seem more intrigued? Do they seem weirded out? Then adjust accordingly.

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d. Do 7 cold approaches this week (minimum). Don’t worry about what to say just pay attention to your voice when you do the approaches. .