Poem Revision Grids

POEM

1 On my first Sonne

(Ben  Jonson)

2

The Affliction of  Margaret (W.Yeats)

THEME

PERSPECT IV IV

Death Love

E & TONE Father lamenting over the loss of his son.

Parent and Child Relationships

Sorrowful; grief; uncertainty (lines 6,8); pain

Love

Mother is anxious about her missing son.

Parent and Child Relationships

Jealousy 3 The Song of  the Old Parent and Mother Child (William Relationships Wordsworth)

4

Patrolling Barnegat (Walt Whitman)

5

Sonnet (John Clare)

 Nature Love for  nature

 pain; fearful; desperate; irrational; obsessed Old woman complains about her life; she is bitter  towards the young weary; bitter; resigned; frustrated Poet describes a fierce storm that human cannot ‘patrol’

Danger 

respect; admiration; wariness; awe

 Nature

Poet is idealistic about summer  love; tranquillity; happiness

Love for  nature

LANGUAGE

- Pride and and affection affection for for his son “thou child of my right hand and joy’ - Talking Talking directly directly to son; Persona Personall ‘Farewell’ - Hopeless Hopeless ‘I loose loose all father, father, now’ - Commem Commemora orator tory y , ‘rest in soft peace…here doth lye’

- Her thoughts thoughts are illogical illogical,, beyond reprieve ‘I look for Ghosts’ - Eterna Eternall pain pain ‘Neglect me! no I suffered long’ and ‘evermore’ - Love ‘my beloved son’ - Sear Search chin ing g ‘ Where art thou’ i s repeated - Women’s Women’s chores chores are repetiti repetitive ve through rhyming couplets and rhythm ‘blow/glow’ - Focuses Focuses on her life ‘I rise/I must scrub’ Obligation - Contra Contrast st to young young ‘lie long and dream/ idleness’ Envious of ‘their day’ - WarWar-li like ke ‘savegest trinity lashing/advancing/cutting swirl’ - Repeti Repetitio tion n – ‘wild, wild’ - Conf Confusi usion on ‘is that a wreck?’ - Every Every line line ending ending ‘ing’ makes storm imminent - Meta Metaph phor  or ‘trinity’ -‘I love’ is repeated; clear declaration - Colourful ’white wool sack clouds’ and ‘bright beetles’

STRUC T-URE - iambic  pentameter 

- lines in rhyming  pairs, called couplets.

- 11 stanzas long to express grief. - Regular,  basic rhyme scheme (ABABCCC) - Rhyming  pairs of lines - Metre is anapaest ic (2 unstressed & then stressed syllable)

- Free verse - Uses  present  participle ‘ing’

- No  punctuation,  picturesque - Sonnet

POETIC

COMPAR-

DEVICES - Metaphorical language: money , extended metaphor ‘lent to me, and I thee pay’ - ‘scap’d worlds, and fleshes rage’ - Son is 'best piece of  poetrie’ greatest creation

ISONS - Afflic Afflictio tion n of  Margaret - Song Song of of the the Old Mother  - Catr Catrin in

- ‘shadows of the clouds’ - ‘chains tie us down by land and sea’ - Person Personifi ificat cation ion ‘My apprehension comes in crowds’ - ‘fire’ is used as a metaphor of her life and tiredness First ‘flicker’ then ‘feeble and cold’ - Simplistic and Monosyllabic ‘And then’ or ‘because I am old’ - Onomatopoeia

- Catr Catrin in - Digg Diggin ing g - On My My Firs Firstt Sonne

(Animism) ‘incessant undertone muttering’ - Personification ‘shouts of demoniac laughter’ - Alliteration of  ‘s’ (line 6) sounds like waves of  the ocean

- alliterated sound ‘where/reed/rustle/wind - Personifies nature ‘summer beaming’

- Afflic Afflictio tion n of  Margaret - On my firs firstt Sonne - Digg Diggin ing g - C at at ri ri n  N.B - Poet is  sympathetic to the elderly. Young should  be helpful.

- Inve Invers rsai aid d - S on on ne net - Stor Storm m on the the Island - Cold Cold Kna Knap p Lake  N.B – Good poem  for analysis of   poetic language’ 

- Death of   Naturalist - Patrolling Barnegat

POE OEM M

THEM THEME E

PERS PERSPE PECT CTIV IV

LANGUAGE

STRUCTURE

POETIC

COMPA

DEVICES

RI-SONS

- Alliteration/ Alliteration/ Repetition -

- On my my first Sonne - The Affliction of M. - The The Fie Field ld Mouse - Octo Octobe ber  r 

E & TONE

1

At the Potato Digging

Death  Nature Suffering

Heaney talks about Potato Famine in Ireland and its effects of killing  people. horror; pride; resilience

2

Digging

Parent and |Heaney is proud of  Child his grand(father) Relationships digging potatoes. Memories

respect; admiration; guilt; hearty

Passage of  Time

3

Death of a Naturalist

 Nature Love of   Nature Danger 

4 Storm on

the Island

 Nature Power of   Nature Danger 

- Descriptive language, potatoes are seen as ‘pebbles’ ‘stone’ and later  ‘putrefied’ - Technical language ‘turf/bark/sod/mould’ - Religious reference ‘famine god’ and ‘black Mother’ and ‘processional stopping’ - Hardship for for people ‘mouths tightened in, eyes die hard’

- Descriptive – digging is a ‘clean rasping sound’; ‘cool hardness’ (tactile); ‘nicking and slicing’ - Technical – ‘turf/sods/soggy peat’ - Rhythm of digging ‘tall tops, buried the bright edge’ and ‘down and down’ - Pride ‘By god the old man could handle a spade’ (colloquial)

Little Heaney is fascinated then disgusted by frogs.

- Sensual ‘festered/gargled/ heavy

excitement; admiration; fear; child-like

-

headed’ (British countryside) - Excitement of child ‘nimble/burst/  jellied specks’

Childish - ‘daddy frog’ ‘slap/plop’

‘hedge to headland’ and ‘ragged ranks’ - Similie ‘like crows attacking’ - Metaphor ‘beaks of  famine snipped at guts’ (See contrast line 39 and 41)

- The poem consists of  nine stanzas that vary  between two lines and five lines in length. There is no pattern to the stanzas, perhaps to reflect the idea that there is no pattern or   predictability to our  memories.

- Alliteration ‘spade sinks

- blank verse (Un-rhyming lines each containing five beats or feet.)

- Assonance ‘punishing

Technical - ‘flax-dam/sods’

-

-

Disgust - ‘angry/gross-bellied’ frogs

-

Military ‘rank/cocked/invaded/grenades’

-

Poet describes the effects of a fierce storm on the inhabitants

- Inclusive ‘we are’ and personal/direct

fear; helplessness; uncertainty, decline in

-

-

- Loose Iambic metre in first & last section - Second section has less rhyme in an irregular pattern - A clear ABAB rhyme scheme that  breaks down in the final line ‘libations of cold tea, scatter crumbs’

‘you can’ ‘you know what I mean’ , more impact War-like imagery ‘blast/pummels/ bombarded’ Repetition of ‘no’

Language changes from security in lines

- Iambic pentameter  lines - mostly blank  verse, but with halfrhyming couplets at the beginning and end.

into the gravely ground’ Onomatopoeia ‘squelch and slap’ Extended metaphor  ‘through living rots awaken in my head’ (Memories and roots)

sun’ Repetition of heaviness ‘the warm thick  slobber/grew like clotted water’ Metaphor ‘great slime kings’ Simile ‘loose necks pulsed like snails’

- Metaphor ‘space is a salvo’* (lots of guns firing at once) - Wind ‘spits like a tame cat’ and trees ‘raise a tragic chorus’ - Sharp contrasts ‘exploding

- On my my first Sonne - The Affliction of M. - Catr Catrin in - Cold Cold Knap Knap Lake - Mali - Inve Invers rsna naid id - Sonn Sonnet et - Patrol Patrollin ling g Barnegat - The The Fie Field ld Mouse

- Inve Invers rsna naid id - Sonn Sonnet et - Patrol Patrollin ling g Barnegat - The The Fie Field ld Mouse

POEM

THEME

PERSPECTIV

LANGUAGE

E & TONE

1

Catrin

Parent and Child Clarke as a mother  Relationships talks to her daughter  Memories Love

2 A Difficult

Birth, Easter 1998

 Nature Religion

3

The Field Mouse

 Nature Parent/Child Relationships Danger  Politics Death

4 Cold Knap

Lake

Memories Danger  Closing Couplet Parent/Child Relationships

- Personal and direct ‘I can remember

affectionate; exasperation; yearning

-

Politics Clarke describes an (Good Friday old sheep giving  Agreement of   birth – struggle is a  Easter 1998  promised peace in metaphor for peace  Northern Ireland) in N.I

hopeful; anxious; relieved

you child’ (1st line) Conflict ‘fierce confrontation’ and ‘fought over’ Love ‘with the wild, tender circles’ . Reflects their constant battle even at the end ‘still I am fighting’. ‘our struggle’ united yet wanting to be ‘Separate’

- Enjamb Enjambmen mentt of  of  first 2 lines allow barren’ and ‘exhausted, tamed by ideas to flow pain’ Refers to peace talks in Belfast. freely. - Religious References ‘quiet supper and Regula Regularr 6 line line bottle of wine’ (Jesus’ last supper) and stanzas ‘lamb’ (Jesus) and ‘stone rolled away’ -  No rhyme makes symbol of his resurrection. in unpredictable - Present tense used when talking about (serious tone)  peace ‘we strain together/she drinks him’

- Use of ‘we’ makes reader become involved - Effects of war: ‘neighbour turned stranger’ like in former-Yugoslavia

Poet describes her  - Dramatic descriptions make the story surreal. The girl is ‘dressed in water’s mother rescued a drowning girl from a long green silk’ (also metaphor) - Questioning ‘Was I there?’ lake. But is it real? - Shocking ‘watched her thrashed for admiration; confusion; wonder; melancholy

into two stanzas. The change from the birth to skating in the 2nd stanza implies struggle in intervening years and indicates time has past.

almost drowning’ violent image

- Spectator is uncertain ‘shadowy/mud blooms in cloudiness’

COMPAR COMPAR I-SONS

- Short lines divided - Contrast, before her child life

- War and Peace ‘We thought her

Set in harvest time on - False sense of security ‘summer’ and a farm where a mouse ‘air hums/ sweetness’  peaceful scene gets hurt like innocent - Violent and war language ‘tractor victims of war in early blade/crushed/’ (weapons) 90’s former- Pain ‘agony, the field’s Yugoslavia. hurt/bleeding/ /wounding’ serious; guilt; fear; distressed; sombre

POETIC POETIC DEVICE DEVICES S

E

about struggle of birth and their struggle now.

Growing Up

STRUCTUR

- On My firs firstt

Sonne was normal ‘the people and - The cars’ Affliction of  - Metaphor ‘the tight red rope M. of love’ (umbilical cord & love) - Digg Diggin ing g - Metaphor for screaming - Foll Follow ower  er  (foreshadows future struggle) ‘I wrote all over the walls with my words’ - At the the Pot Potat ato o Digging direct to reader  ‘we’d planned/you - Storm on the find us’ Island Metaphor for hope ‘watch for car (nature) lights’ - Digg Diggin ing g Metaphor for conflict ‘we strain (Imagery) together…harder than we dared’ Metaphor for weak peace ‘cradling’ vulnerable.

- Use of personal pronouns and -

- The poem poem cons consist istss of three stanzas of  9 lines each. The lines are of varying lengths, perhaps to reflect the freedom of the natural world - or the lack  of order in the wartorn world.

-

- Mainly Mainly regula regular  r   pattern: the stanzas consist alternately of 4 lines and 6 lines, although the lines are of varying lengths. It ends with a rhyming

-

-

- Patr Patrol olli ling ng Metaphor 1st line ‘long grass is a Barnegat snare drum’ and ‘jets’ reiterate war  - S on on ne net far away. - At the the Pot Potat ato o Oxymoron ‘killed flowers’ 2nd Digging stanza focuses on death and agony. - Stor Storm m on the the Onomatopoeia ‘stammering with Island gunfire’

-

Alliteration & Simile ‘bones brittle as mouse-ribs’ - Land is personified ‘pain won’t heal/ bleeding’

-

- Digg Diggin ing g - Stor Storm m on the the Island Lots of colour, visual ‘blue-lipped/ - Sonnet 130 green/rosy/red’ (primary colours (closing  that children like) couplet) Alliteration ‘drawn by the dread of  it’ and ‘breathing, bleating’ absence of sound, tension ‘silent’ Mother’s bravery ‘kneeling/a heroine/head bowed’ exaggerated