Oscar: An Accident Waiting to Happen

Introduction

Introduction “I know for sure that our lives will never be the same as they were before OP. It’s so odd because from the first night I lay in bed with a knot in my stomach from worry and concern about his disabilities, his fame and how it would impact our daughter Sammy, and our lives – the knot still remains. I think about Oscar and what he put my precious child and family through. How his life went so haywire that he went as far as shooting and killing someone. And how he hurt my precious daughter and broke her trust in so many ways...” – Trish Taylor, journal entry, September 2013

Why on earth would I want to write this book? This is the question that will probably be asked a lot once it is published. Is it for money? Publicity? Fame? The truth is I am absolutely terrified to tell my story, but I am more terrified not to. As hard as it is to get it all out, to sit day in and day out, spending months and months with Melinda 1

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Oscar: An Accident Waiting to Happen

Ferguson, my writer, and going over all the pain and turmoil and chaos – especially now, in light of what has happened to Reeva and what transpired in the court case – I feel I must tell our story. Already four months before Oscar shot and killed Reeva Steenkamp, as he ricocheted out of our lives, I was struck by a deep need to tell the story of how Oscar had come into our world and, how, over a period of 18 months, he almost destroyed my daughter Sam and negatively affected our entire family. During the Olympics of 2012 and after Oscar returned to South Africa, I feared that something terrible was going to happen. I believed strongly that Oscar was in dire need of help; that he was on the brink of suicide, or that something was about to happen – with disastrous consequences. After things went sour between Oscar and Sammy towards the end of 2012, Oscar fabricated so many stories about Sammy, that hurt both her and her reputation, to justify his actions and hurtful behaviour. When one of Oscar’s friends phoned to threaten Sam and our family, to “watch our backs if we ever go back to Joburg”, I was forced to consult a psychologist and an attorney. I was extremely stressed. Both professionals advising me were as worried about Sammy and our family as I was. Up until then, to protect the privacy and safety of my loved ones, I had kept quiet. They advised that it was possibly the right time to speak out. But at that stage, just after the glory of the “Oscar Olympics” of the summer of 2012, who would have believed me? Oscar Pistorius was the world’s darling. Why would anyone listen to me, his ex-girlfriend’s mother? Why would anyone heed my warnings? I feared they would turn on me – and I would end up scorned as the crazy, embittered mother. Sammy would be even more tarnished and threatened. Although I had first-hand information of Oscar that was extremely disturbing, that showed a side of him that was deeply unstable, and as much as I knew that people had to be warned, my larger sense was that no one would listen. So I listened to fear, and silenced myself. Then on 14 February 2013 the world woke up to the news of Reeva’s brutal killing. Suddenly, my need to tell our family’s 2

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Introduction

story became overwhelming. I am not a writer, but I knew I had something important to tell and I knew I needed an author I could trust, and who would understand the importance of the story I had to tell. From the minute Melinda Ferguson and I met in May 2013, we connected. The truth is, I was on a mission to find her. Long before we ever met, I had read her first book, Smacked, while travelling on a train in Scotland; her story about her journey into drug addiction, and her subsequent healing, blew me away. Mel understood what I wanted to say from day one. We have worked together, mostly in secret – meeting in hotel lobbies, in boardrooms, and in hidden back-room spaces. Mel has enabled me to tell my story, and I will be eternally grateful for that. While this book was being written, we had no idea whether Oscar was going to be found guilty and sit in jail for a long time or be found innocent and live as a free man. In fact, we went to print before the outcome of the trial was announced. So in many ways it feels like we wrote the end of the book in the dark. But we both didn’t feel the outcome of the trial would change anything in the story. If he walks free it will be even more important that people read this book. He is a man that needs help. Oscar himself admitted this to me on numerous occasions. If his family and friends were honest with themselves, they would admit this as well, and find him the assistance he so desperately needs. The world should know the many layers that make up Oscar Pistorius. He was a world icon, a respected hero, yet he had many other sides to him. In the aftermath of the killing, people are still trying to make sense of what happened. I hope in some way this book will offer some insights. I have done my utmost not to make this solely my daughter Sammy’s story, but rather our whole family’s – describing how we all experienced Oscar and how he affected our lives, as well as the agony we lived through as my daughter fell in and out of love with Oscar. But in telling this story, I have had to bring in elements of their relationship to put the pieces of the puzzle together. 3

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Oscar: An Accident Waiting to Happen

This is a book about a person whose life went out of control and tragically impacted a number of others. It is a book about an accident that was always waiting to happen. I wish I had told my story earlier, when Reeva was still alive. Perhaps Oscar might have sought assistance and things may have turned out differently. It might even have saved a life. Soon after Reeva died, I spoke to a well-known forensic scientist about my fear of telling this story. He advised me that if I wanted to protect my family from the threats of violence and keep the family safe, we needed to tell our truth. He told me: “It is safer to go into the light than it is to stay in the dark.” It is those words that have given me the strength and inspiration to write this. – Patricia Taylor, March 2014 – Patricia Taylor, March 2014

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