February 5, 2017 | Author: baljinder4u | Category: N/A
OET Online
OET Preparation Material
Ms Sarah Hutchinson Southside Physiotherapy Centre 87 Trout street Carina Date: 10-‐04-‐2008 Re: George Arthur Bacon Date of Birth: 14-‐11-‐1940 Dear Ms Sarah, I am writing to refer Mr George for a home visit following left total hip replacement surgery on 3/04/2008. He has been on physiotherapy treatment till date and insists on early discharge to care for his wife who is suffering with early stage Alzheimer’s disease. Mr George’s activities were restricted since last year by grinding pain in the left hip and he has had difficulty in climbing and descending stairs. Following surgery his X-‐ray reports are normal. His physiotherapy treatment following surgery is as follows: He is able to walk with a walking frame to the shower, and walks without limp with the aid of walking stick (07/04/08). He can ascend and descend stairs with the aid of walking stick and completes exercises regularly which include active hip and knee bending. Yesterday he was educated to do self-‐ exercises, and transport and home help was arranged. This paragraph is a bit repetitive Mr George is a retired school teacher. He lives in 10 Foundation street, Carina. His Phone number is 39760753. (subject required) I would like you to continue with his assessment and exercise management. Please do not hesitate to contact me for further queries. Your’s Sincerely Physiotherapist
Comment: Replace with: Dear Ms Huchinson (if you don’t know her)or Dear Sarah (if she is a well known colleague) see below for details Comment: Incorrect title. You have 4 choices, & 1 & 2 are best 1. I am writing to refer Mr Bacon 2.I am writing to refer this patient 3.I am writing to refer George 4.I am writing to refer Mr George Bacon Comment: This sounds casual, Replace with: since surgery Comment: Present perfect required here, replace with: have been restricted For more details follow this link: http://oetonline.com.au/mod/assignment/view. php?id=73 Comment: An article is required for parts of the body. For more details follow this link: http://oetonline.com.au/mod/assignment/view. php?id=97 Comment: You need to add a subject after and as it is different to the subject of the first clause 1. First Clause: George’s activities 2.Second clause: George See below for more details Comment: No apostrophe required, Replace with: Yours sincerely
The OET centre uses the assessment criteria below when assessing referral letters Overall task fulfillment
The letter structure is quite good but the information does not flow smoothly. Refer to the model letter for this task for an example of how to make your letter more organised. Word length is better at 179 words.
This resource was developed by OET Online Website: http://oetonline.com.au Email:
[email protected]
OET Online
OET Preparation Material
Comprehension of stimulus
Appropriateness of language
Control of linguistic features
Control of presentation features
You have included the key points, but the information during is not summarised clearly. At times you have written almost directly from the case notes. Remember the case notes are in short form and often have verbs and subjects omitted. It is up to you to put the subjects and verbs in when you create sentences, and it is much better to summarise the overall situation rather than lots of specific facts. Better paragraphing this time, with a strong introduction. However paragraph 3 and the conclusion could be improved. Refer to the model letter below for this task for an example of how to do this.
In this letter you made some errors of verb tense, articles and sentence structure. These are important parts of referral letters so work hard to gain a good knowledge of tenses. Refer to the information below, the useful websites on the course page and the Grammar and Vocabulary Clinic and study the rules, as you need this knowledge to approach the exaam with confidence. A few errors with titles and the closer, otherwise good
This resource was developed by OET Online Website: http://oetonline.com.au Email:
[email protected]
