notes dimitri - my juggler method

These are my notes on „Dimitri – My Juggler Method“. I made these notes for myself, some parts of the ebook might be misunderstood or left out, however I tried to pack as much useful information in this document as possbile. I am not entirely happy with the layout right now, an update might follow once I have more time to work on this document. I would love to hear some feedback. By badabum 3 fundamental elements to classic JM 1. Make her interesting - She has to be interesting enough to deserve your attention - You are gentleman enough to help her to show herself to you in the best possible way - there are no boring people in the world - proper structure for an elegant conersation: OEQ -> her answer -> your statement - each statement consists of two parts: reward and relate; "I perspective"; vacuum -> use vacuum more at beginning of convo and less at the end of conversation 2. Reward/ Relate - Reward - make her feel liked - You are the man who gives approval wihtout seeking approval from others - three things to reward - what she says - how she says it - what she does while saying it - reward as - push/ pull - verbal reward - nonverbal rewards - a smile - touching - Relate - Relate to a topic - good if same opinion, bad if different opinion - Relate to an emotion - she likes cats -> „i like motorcycles...“ - if what she says is negative first relate to negative emotion and then switch from the negative emotion to the opposite positive one 3. Escalate - probably the most important element! - escalation is the continuous, conscious, deliberate act of deepening the rapport with a woman - counterintuitively the best way to deepen rapport is to break it and make your partner in the converation invest her effort to building it - it's rude not to escalate, she feels as if he keeps her at a disctance by being cold, stuck-up and snobbish - she wants him to become closer to her, she creates opportunities to do so - by escalating you give a woman what she seeks - you confirm her desirability, you validate her status as a female - among the number of actions creating the escalation one is particularly important ->

the touch "kino" - kino is not a problem, it's a solution - touching must escalate -> start small (forearm p.e.) -> gradually proceed to her shoulder, on the back, on the back of the neck, on the small of her back and so on - hand kino escalation: only touch a woman's hand and nothing else, begin with the back of her hand, later hold her hand, squeeze it and see if she squeezes back, put your fingers between hers, kiss her wrist softly, etc. - touch is a reward, touch her after she says/does something cute or when she opens up to you - verbal reward/ relate - also a form of escalation - you make her want more of the same and make her work harder to deserve your rewards - she will invest her efforts in building the rapport that you would deliberately undermine again and again by push/ pull - Demonstrating high value - bragging does not work too well -> JM alternative: Disqualification (DQ) - reveal your vulnerabilities to a woman you are speaking with - by revealing your vulnerabilities to a woman you demonstrate that you are perfectly comfortable with who you are - women are used to men trying to show themselves in the best possible way - you don't want to be compared to the "perfect man" Escalation: "there must be a flame under the pot all the time, toherwise the pot grows cold" several phases of escalation in JM - pre- escalation phase: approach - critical phase - Approach Anxiety -> confusion of a man whose mind and body have to deal with too many tasks at a time - solution: remove unnecessary obstructions by giving a full commitment to one task only_ the physical act of approach as such. - don't confuse yourself by thinking of what you are going to say, deal with that after the approach. - Opening - "nightgame" -> open with kino, kino comes before the words (and will continue throughout the entire interaction) - touch a woman on the outside of the arm (or leg if seated) and hold the contact for a few moments - verbal part - difference night and daygame -> women in clubs and bars are open to meeting and interacting with strangers, women in bookstores, health food markets and coffee shops are more reserved. daygame requires a smoother, less obvious opening - blank mind opening works best - clear your mind completely and approach a woman and then say the very first thing that comes to your mind - Neutral phase (often wrongly called "platonic") - kino and verbal opening begin this phase - here the structure of the conversation is usually the least important consideration - common that for a few moments you get to answer the questions from the set.

- if no one in the set asks questions you do - use every opportunity to disqualify yourself, continue it throughout the interaction - purpose of neutral phase: make people comfortable with the idea of you becoming a part of their group - don't get stuck in the neutral phase, keep it short - move to asking them very light OEQ and initiate the question - answer - statement structure (which will continue throughout the whole interaction) - "who are you here with" - Finally she makes a commitment by revealing a significant bit of the unique personal information for the first time -> you place the second turning point of escalation: statement of approval - SOA: begins second phase of escalation: - Personal - during this phase Kino is used to deepen the rapport - ask a series of increasingly personal OEQ, Reward/ Relate (every now and then use push/ pull as an indirect reward) - "what's your relationship situation?" - bring that topic up before she does "you know, I have a boyfriend" - transition to the topic of relationships and it is easy to transition to the topic of human sexuality - at some point she will say something that you genuinely find sexy about her - third turning point of escalation: statement of intent "I like the way you.... I find it sexy about you" - never hesitate to repeat it if she asks what was it that you just said - "I", "You" and "sexy" must be in it - she either reacts favorably or she hides her reaction (which is also a sign of acceptance) - Sexual - now the purpose of kino is to give a woman physical pleasure, to make her feel good. - back rub, neck rub, running fingers through her hair, caressing her tenderly anywhere she wants - even more personal with your OEQ and reward/ relate, ask her questions about sex - come up with a convenient reason to move the woman away from the group of her friends - build up sexual tension by creating sexual barriers -> impose certain obstacles between you and her - surmountable obstaces - Close - #C - email close - kc - instant date close - date close - always stay with a woman for some time after you close her and build more rapport (otherwise she might think you just took her to "score") - don't make a big deal out of it, don't make it special to you the most important principle of JM -> it's all about having fun - "routines" for relating - Yeah.... I know exactly what you mean... - I'm like that too.... - I can (totally, absolutely, positively, etc.) relate to that... - I know where you are coming from...

- I feel your pain - Yes, it's like this with me too.... - If you want a woman to have sex with you, you must give her the emotions you want her to experience, in a certain sequence - various channles, p.e. tone of your voice or through your body language - also through words - direct questions - when was the last time you felt perfectly free - indirect questions - when was the last time something was so funny that you couldn't suppress your laughter and didn't care if anyone was listening? - direct statement - I feel free every time i breathe fresh air, because it reminds me that I quit smoking and am now free from the addiction! It's a big thin for me! - indirect statement - I feel great riding my motorcycle as fast as I can along the empty highway, not caring about anything in the whole world - safe, friendyl, comfort, excitement, fun, humor, desire, fulfilmment, pleasure, adventorous, risky, naughty, curious, relaxed, tense, freedom, thrilled, irresponsible, intoxicated with you, in love, desperatly craving pleasure, sexual tension, aroused, horny, - don't be aggressive/ desperate - usually the man sees himself as a taker. he want's something that a woman can give him. The notion of a man as a taker is wrong and useless. It must be eliminated and replaced by the opposite notion: men must see themselves as generous, joyful givers. - a man gives to a woman the feeling of sexual relief, which she craves from a man much more intensely than a man craves it from her - a man gives to a woman the joy of male companionship, which she craves as intensely as the man craves the female companionship from a woman. - a woman craves to be appreciated as a woman and she craves to be appreciated as a person - everything related to giving a woman the feeling of sexual relief makes her feel appreciated as a person - everything related to giving a woman the male companionship makes her feel appreciated as a person - it's equally essential that she makes you feel appreciated as a man and as a person. You must feel confident that she likes your body AND your soul - You should stay with a woman only if she loves and respects you - If both of you admire each other spiritually, but only one of you makes the other feel physically appreciated, the person whose body is neglected suffers the pangs of unrequited love. In fact it has very little to do with friendship, because true friendship must always be fair - to make a woman feel appreciated as a sexual and spiritual being you must find out who she is as a sexual and spiritual being. - I would not recommend to greet a woman with anything too smart or too complicated, keep it simple, do not try to be too creative - after opening change subject, there are two subjects you want to talk about: who she is as a woman and as a person and who you are as a man and as a person

- "you help a woman to find out who you are" -> she must invest effort in finding out who you are, if you simply make the information available to her, she might not be interested in processing that information - "you help her to become curious about who you are", she has the right to choose what she wants - how you can achieve this: - find out as much as possible about her - reveal as little as possible about yourself - we can only be curious about things we know a little about. We are not curious about things that are completely familiar, neither are we curious about things we know nothing about. - three principles of personal storytelling - when you talk about yourself, be concise - begin with the most boring things, gradually progress to reveal increasingly more interesnting ones, keep the facts you find truly fascinating about yourself for as much later as you can - tell your stories one small bit of a time what is love? I love a woman, so I want her to be happy. But she chooses her happiness. If she is happy with me, my love is fulfilled. If she is truly happy without me - or with someone other than me - my love is fulfilled the pick-up community is continuously brainwashing the huge army of insecure men for the purpose of creating stable, easy to manipulate market for their products and services. The community gives such men the illusory validation and illusory fulfillment, by channeling all their efforts into a vain activity that requires bits of fake knowledge those men otherwise would not need. - the classic "brain washed" PUA does not realize that he would get laid anyway by just going out there and talking to a woman. - the leaders invest a lot of effort into making the courthsip seem very difficult - A MAN DOES NOT NEED TO DO ANYTHING SPECIAL IN ORDER TO HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN HE FINDS ATTRACTIVE Approach Anxiety - is an illusion to make courtship appear difficult - two fundamental types of fear - Artificial Fear - man made, also known as intimidation or suspense - why does a person believe that a man can be easily motivated by fear? because that person himself is easily motivated by fear. - when someone tries to intimidate me, to trigger fear in me, i know that he is a coward - Natural fear - it is a biological pre-programmed reaction to a dangerous situation - the natural fear is instantaneous, and more often than not is experienced after the event. - Resistance - You want something - You take action to achieve what you want

- You experience the RESISTANCE - You take action to overcome the resistance and achieve what you want - most people refuse to face the reality of resistance, they have unrealistic expectations. - If you do not experience resistance right after you take action to achieve what you want, it only means that the resistance is delayed, and you will encounter somewhat stronger resistance after a certain time interval elapses - Fear cannot last long - in most situations of natural fear the frightening situation lasts only a split second, and is already over before you begin to experience the fear - You want to meet a woman. You take action: you approach a woman, knowing very well that you can give her something she craves. You expect her resistance as something perfectly normal. You know her resistance will not bother you. She resists your approach - and she might even expect you to geht angry. Instead, you react to her resistance with KINDNESS. She is disarmed by your kindness, and is curious about you. For her you are unlike most men she has ever met. She begins to see you for who you are: the hero. She wants to find out more about you. - Approach anxiety is sexual tension - most men misinterpret sexual tension as anxiety. - The tension is never relieved properly, and the man turns his own mind against himself. All the wonderful energy he has built up to approach a woman is now inversed and invested into the feelings of self- contempt and self- loathing - When you see a woman you like, you experience a powerful surge of energy. You let this energy build up until it is nearly overwhelming. But your mind remains calm: You know how to control and direct this energy, the energy of sexual tension. you know that the more energy you accumulate during this ecstatic moment, the smarter, the more resourceful, the more attractive it will make you. So you wait. You let the energy grow: you wait three, five, ten- seconds if necessary until the tension reaches its absolute peak. - As soon as you take those steps towards a woman, the tension is replaced by the intoxicating feeling of relief. there are three things a man can do when a woman rejects him - A man can accept her will with respect to her as a human being, and treat her as a noble friend would. This is the way of a true man. The true man knows that a woman might yet change her mind, and he knows the importance and power of noble friendship. On the other hand, the true man knows that he would never do things to make a woman feel inferior, and he knows that a woman is responsible for her own choices. - A man can get upset, walk away, and begin to hate the woman for having rejected him, and to hate himself for being unlikable. This is the way of a victim. - A man can do something to architect a certain set of circumstances and/or influence the mind of a woman in such ways that her will, even though she has not changed it, is no longer considered valid. Then he finds a way to go around what she really wants and she ends up having sex with him. Then he is gone to pursue another woman. This is the way of the rapist

- " I do not believe in the Golden Rule: I believe in the Platinum Rule. The Golden Rule implies treating others as we want to be treated; the Platinum Rule means treating the others as they want to be treated" Fundamental principles - Alpha nice - You are the true and ultimate authority over your life - confidence does not come from success, success comes from confidence. Confidence comes from acknowledging and respecting your own authority over your life -You cannot be the authority over the life of anyone else, simply because in their life they are the true and ultimate authorities. - the goal of JM is to direct both categories of people, the neurotic nice guy and the neurotic rebel to the path of true self expression. -the key to developing the healthy self is connecting to own EMOTIONS and bringing those emotions out there - rooted in "alpha nice" -> ability to express oneself comes from taking charge of own life and taking absolute responsibility for own choices. -A man needs to check his values and follow the path that leads to true happiness. Not by the Hollywood standards or any other social standards, this is all much more personal. - if a guy is not happy in the first place, no woman will make him happy. - Showing early sexual interest in a woman is the main problem with many men. - Do not make yourself emotinally available to her before she has deserved it. -Open up gradually, make each of the steps in that process a reward to her for taking a step towards you - complimenting a very attractive woman on her looks on the approach has the effect of wearing a T-shirt with a slogan, an idiot with zero social skills - do not "spill the guts" to someone you have just met. Do not try too hard to build rapport. When a woman asks a question you do not want to answer don't answer it. - a man who takes himself seriously is very attractive to most women. A man who takes himself too seriously appears ridiculous to most women. - Girls are socially conditioned to think of themselves as buyers on the meat market. You want to reverse the role and make her feel she's a seller Inner game - "I think, therefore I am" – Descartes

- "I am, therefore I am desirable" - Demetrius - Your actual existence means that women want you - If you believe that your existence is not an accident - You exist in the form of an ordinary human male. - Ordinary human females need ordinary human males for sex and male companionship. You fit in the category and possess the required characteristics. - be in the moment - your mind and your body are worth much more than any motor vehicle or any piece of real estate, much more than any social position, no matter how high it is, and much more than any kind of physical appearance. - treat yourself with much more respect than you would treat a Ferrari - high ethical standards work as a aphrodisiac on many attractive women - if you make a statement that sticking with your ethical standards is more important to you than having sex with her, no matter how attractive you find her that might actually serve as a powerful disqualification/ sexual barrier. - don't be an entertainer. do not try to entertain a woman unless she has taken some effort. women know guys who try to brag but in most times they are polite and listen and are not really interested. - Special exercise -> never touch a women more than once on the same spot of her body, unless she is not very receptive and you feel you have to pull back a litte. - first -> back of your hand on her forearm, if seated touch her on the outside of her thigh - hand on shoulder - hand on the back below the neck - arm around her shoulders - hand on the middle of her back - hand on the small of her back - arm around her waist - hold your hand on her neck for some time - hand on her buttock

- kiss - keep in mind that touching needs to be calibrated - the ultimate mastery in any human craft comes from the opposite of that craft - the art of war is winning without fighting, the ultimate mastery in painting comes when the painter rejects his technical skills and paints with his heart - the ultimate art of conversation lies in silence - the ideal rapport is when the two people gaze at the eyes of each other, not saying a word. the ideal conversation is nonverbal - while listening -> do not smile, do not break tension. - not knowing about a topic is better for having a conversation - when she asks you a question you can ask her how she would answr it. listen earnestly, hold her hand. - keep your statements concise. if you make longish statements you discover her just nodding and saying yes or no. - Be innocent and act like you are strong. - men who feel guilty for having sexual interest act defensively. Men who feel weak act defensively. - men who accept the fact that there is no guilt in wanting sex are innocent. Men who know that they are stronger and therefore should act from the position of emotional and physical generosity, such men cannot be afraid of women. - Body language - Rattlehead - make sure that your head does not move when you speak most of the time. Do your best to move your head slow and smooth - Torso lock - learn the "fat man walk" - straight arms lock - fling your arms slightly around your body while walking. - bent arm lock -train yourself to keep your arms along the sides of your trousers while talking to people when you and they are standing -fists in the pockets - don't do it

- windmill arms -treausure your gesturs. only use them to emphasize the most important points of what you're saying. Do it in a smooth, relaxed, slow fashion, as if your hands and arms move through water. - body rocking - stand up firmly on your feet, make a conscious effort to be erect. -legs lock - "fat man's walk" - bent legs lock - "fat man's walk" - frisky fingers - stop it - leg shake - root the heel of your shoe firmly in the floorboards - how do you encounter resistance phrases like "i have a boyfriend" "f* off" - reframe "i have a boyfriend" as her seeking approval. proceed with I statements - " I have a boyfriend" " You could sound a little more tnthusiastic. So, one thing I enjoy the most is a well- done crusty barbecue with lemon and a flask of brandy by the campfire after a long day of flying. Now let's talk about you. What's your bliss?" - how to begin a conversation with a woman - two possible mindsets a stranger might be in -> sociable and unsociable - the skill of recognizing the sociability level in each particular person before you approach them is incredibly easy to master. Simply give yourself a few moments to observe them and it will become clear for you how open they might be to interacting with you. - once you started a converation you are in partial control of their sociability level. - people in the unsociable mindset are occupied with something else so you need to get there attention without scaring them. - Vacuum and vibe are the two opposite sides of physical charisma - prolonged eye contact, semi- relaxed face, neck and body and of course friendly smile -> vibe, warm, softly - prolonged eye contact, relaxed face, frozen but relaxed neck and body, no smile. -> Vacuum, hard, cold - true mastery of physical charisma can be achieved by combining the vibe and the vacuum in a perfect proportion suitable for a specific situation

- approach soft and low energy, not over the top high energy - if a woman you had just approached gives you a negative raction you can do the following - agree with her emotion - reward: presume her high value - relate: justify her negative emotional reaction in a plausible way - end the conversation on a high note and leave - primary goal: leave gracefully and immediately and feel good about it. - secondary goal: make that woman re- open you and apologize