Secrets of Female Psychology The New Casual Sex
by Lawrence Lanoff
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The New Casual Sex
The New Casual Sex "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damn good." –Woody Allen
Let’s meet Mark. He’s a busy dude. Between juggling a full-time job and working on an entrepreneurial side business with his partner, he has little time to invest in meeting women. He's a career-first guy. But he's also lonely. Mark is especially frustrated because it seems like the girls he attracts need a lot of time invested before they are willing to get in bed with him. They need to be taken on multiple dates, texted everyday between dates, and only then will they feel like he really “respects” them enough to fuck him. Mark hates this because how can you really know if you like someone before you have sex with them? For Mark, it seems like such a waste of his time to “woo” women that he may have no sexual chemistry with. I mean nothing is worse than investing a lot of time and money only to find out she fucks like a dead fish. Mark wishes more girls were into casual sex. He wishes that they valued their time just as much as he valued his and were more willing to just get to the point so everyone can either move forward together or MOVE ON! I’m here to fill you in on a secret even so-called “experts” don’t know. Our culture has been lying to you! Here’s why: Women want casual sex just as much as men do! Truly.
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The New Casual Sex I know some of you are thinking this can’t be true, because it hasn’t been your experience. If you’ve ever taken the most basic biology class, you have probably heard the popular saying that “eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap,” which is why women are biologically predisposed to be choosier about who they sleep with than men. Here’s the thing – that is BULLSHIT and you should erase it from your belief system about women right now – forever. If you buy into the reasoning that women are choosier about sexual partners, it essentially amounts to no sex being had. I mean, all it takes is watching one episode of Maury Povich or Jerry Springer to know that women are not biologically more likely to be choosier than men. If that were the case, why are all these deadbeats getting laid and nobody knows who the baby-daddy is?! On a primal level, women want sex just as much as men. And some, like authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha in their book Sex At Dawn, have even argued that women are just as evolutionarily motivated to have multiple partners as men. Men want to spread their seed and women want to let the sperm fight it out. It’s more like “survival of the fittest” in the womb! And multiple studies have even shown that women are most likely to cheat when they are ovulating! In order to tap into this primal nature in women, AND GET LAID QUICKER AND EASIER, you need to know a few things. First of all, you need to understand how stereotypes affect your ability to get laid. Research shows that, in general, men stereotype women as being nurturing and warm, a lesson learned from childhood through society’s reverence of the mother-figure.
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The New Casual Sex Women are taught stereotypes about men from a young age also. They are taught to be careful because men might be violent, aggressive, sexual predators. Women have learned: don’t get too drunk – you might get raped. Don’t walk alone at night – you might get raped. Keep an eye on your drink at a bar because you might get drugged – and raped. You get the idea. With all of this in mind, you might see why women don’t just jump at any chance to have a one night stand as quickly as most men would. It’s not because women don’t want to. It’s because they have greater perceived risk if they do act on their desires. What I’m going to teach you will show you how to reduce a woman’s perceived risk and increase your chances of GETTING LAID QUICKER AND EASIER.
The Bad In Bed Vibe My female coaching students have also told me, over and over, that they turn down sexual offers because they get a vibe that the guy wouldn’t be good in bed. Basically, she gets a vibe that he’s going to suck in bed. So, she would rather go home and masturbate than risk having sex that sucks. Think about it. Men are pretty much guaranteed an orgasm, even if the girl just lies there and does nothing. Girls on the other hand are not guaranteed anything. And, for a lot of them, they are guaranteed that somebody is going to be asking questions about what they have been doing with their vaginas. So, her knowing that she is going to have a good time is super important.
The Two Secrets To Getting Laid
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The New Casual Sex There are two secret things that you must learn how to communicate to get laid. But only learn them if you want to make yourself so irresistible that she is willing to silence all this bad programming in her head and drop trou for you on the first date.
Secret #1: She must feel safe when she is with you. Secret #2: She has to believe you are going to be good in bed. (See my Tantra-X program for in-depth information on how to be better and better in bed.) Communicating this is a lot easier than you think, too! I’m going to take you step-by-step through a technique that I designed that will get you LAID quicker and easier. Guaranteed. This technique will teach you how to quickly and easily develop a feeling of deep connection that will break through her doubts and fears. And trust me, you can have as much casual sex as you want if you know how to effectively communicate safety and the promise of a pleasurable experience. It won’t matter how rich you are or how handsome you are, women WILL respond to you and WILL want you in their beds – SOONER rather than later. Technique 1 – BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE
Conversations create mental maps, as well as emotional/feeling maps. o
Example: I can eat a lemon and my mouth waters and puckers. I can THINK about eating a lemon and my mouth waters and puckers.
o
I can think about the first time I opened a Playboy magazine, held it in my hands, smelled the fresh ink. A smile spreads across my face even now. I can’t help but feel happy and a little bit horny.
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The New Casual Sex
Our brains are hardwired for making associations. And, as my behavioral neuroscience professor would say, “What fires together, wires together.”
Why is this important for you to understand? Do you know someone or have you ever had a friend who was just hilarious. Every time you’re with him he keeps you in stitches. Think about this person right now. Really picture him and notice how you feel in your body as you do this. You may notice yourself feeling a little chuckle rising in your belly, or a general sense of warmth in your chest, or a more energetic feeling throughout your body. This person has created an association for himself or herself. You have laughed so many times in his or her presence by now, that your brain has been hardwired to equate time spent with this person with feeling good. This is what YOU are going for in a woman’s brain. “I’m not funny,” you are probably saying. “So how can this help me get laid?”
Using conscious awareness, you can control what gets associated with you – if you know what you’re doing.
You can cue pleasant, funny memories for women, that you have nothing to do with, and become associated with those feelings simply because you are in their presence when they are feeling them. o Example: she is talking about something that really makes her feel good + you are listening to her = she concludes that you must really make her feel good.
People forget what is actually said and only remember how they feel when they are around you. With this knowledge, you can consciously guide conversations in a way that will elicit feelings from her that you want associated with yourself.
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The New Casual Sex Now that you know safety and increased sexual pleasure are the two key principles that you want to convey, I’m going to offer you a few ideas that will guide conversations toward creating either feelings of safety or pleasure in her body that she will then associate with you.
My Top Ten Safety/Pleasure Phrases
Who are some of the people in your life that you know you can really count on?
What lets you know that someone really cares about you?
What’s the best thing that has happened to you this week/month/year?
What lets you know that someone is really trustworthy?
What’s your favorite food? What do you like about it?
Who’s your best friend? Why is she your best friend?
What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?
What’s the craziest/most fun thing you have done in the last week/month/year?
What’s your favorite place that you have traveled to so far?
Where would you like to travel in the future? Why?
Do you have any pets? (If so, get her to really elaborate on telling you all about them.)
Also, right now, come up with five questions on your own that you think will create feelings of safety and pleasure in her body. Think of things that correspond with who you are. It’s important that you make this technique your own and ask questions that you would genuinely be interested in hearing the answers to. Women can detect bullshit interest.
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The New Casual Sex You must also make sure you have your own answers prepared for whatever questions you are going to ask, because she may want to know the same things about you. When a woman begins to feel safe, she may start opening up to you about stuff that isn’t so pleasant for her – which is great, too. In this case, she may associate emotional intensity with you. And keep in mind that you always want to reinforce something positive that she can feel in her body about whatever experience she has shared. Let me give you some examples. The Power of the Survivor Reminder Technique: Rachel shares with you that she grew up with a horribly violent father (not feelings you want to be associated with). A great response would be something like this, “Wow. It must have been awful growing up in an environment like that. You must be a really strong person to have survived it all!” This way you are conveying to her that you heard and empathize with her experience but you follow it with something that brings her back to where she is in the present moment (safe with you), and connects her with feelings of security and a sense of having overcome her past. Great associations for you! You can use the Survivor Reminder Technique for all kinds of situations. In general, it’s just great to remind people that they made it through a difficult time and survived because it’s easy for them to get lost in feelings of victimization. These are feelings that generally are not good for getting you laid. Another example: You just met Jessica at a bar. She tells you that she had the worst day at work, her boss is a complete asshole, and she wants to drown her misery in booze. A great response from you would be, “Let’s toast to your having survived an awful day with an asshole boss! Things can only get better from here on out. What would you do with your life, if you had all the money in the world and never had to go back there?”
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The New Casual Sex You empathized with the past, snapped her back into the safety of the present (she made it), and even projected her into an ideal future. Now just add a few questions that expand more feelings of pleasure in her body and you will have her eating out of your hand (sucking your cock) in no time. A woman once told me a story about two different guys she went on dates with. She said that one guy made her feel like he was one of the most interesting people she had ever met. The other guy made her feel like she was one of the most interesting people he had ever met. Guess who she fell in love with? The second guy. The second guy anchored stronger feelings in her body by getting her to share what interests and excites her. If you spend too much time sharing your own experiences in an attempt to impress a woman, she might think you’re cool but will be less likely to go home with you at the end of the night. Always keep in mind how she is feeling in her body when she is talking to you. Something that she shares from an exciting personal experience will always create a stronger association anchor for good feelings toward you, rather than something you share about yourself that she finds likeable or interesting. Remember to focus on the personal power of the Survivor Reminder technique. It will save your ass as women open up and feel more and more safe with you.
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