Neil Strauss - KinoEscalation

On Kino Escalation Kino Escalation By Don Diego Garcia for StyleLife I took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie, There's nothin' left to talk about, unless it's horizontally, Let's get physical, I wanna get physical, Let me hear your body talk. ~Olivia Newton-John

Warning & Disclaimer: Abide by the Law of the Land Kino relates to touching. Forms of touching may be considered criminal in some jurisdictions, punishable by fines or imprisonment. Consult federal, state, and local laws regarding touching, age of consent, and intoxication as well as your employer’s harassment policy. The following is not advice but opinions to be used for entertainment purposes only. By reading this e-book you agree to hold Don Diego Garcia and StyleLife.com harmless. Aren’t you glad that is over? I hope you weren’t scared too badly. "The language of love is not spoken with words." ~ Don Diego Garcia

Ride the Kino Escalator

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

1

On Kino Escalation “Kino” is derived from the word “kinesthetic” which relates to the way our bodies detect position, weight, and movement. Roughly translated it relates to the workings of our body’s motor neurons and sensory neurons. Motor neurons control how we move our body by sending signals to our muscles, and sensory neurons give us information in the form of body sensations from the skin. So, “kino” can be interpreted as transmission of information from one person’s body movements to another person through sensors in the skin. The information communicated varies from World Culture to World Culture. And even within a single culture, different people will have subjective interpretations of what different kino actions mean. The lines defining different types of kino are quite fuzzy and not clear at all. Formal Kino for one person might be considered Friendly Kino to another. Friendly Kino to the same person might be considered Sensual Kino to someone else. Regardless of what culture or upbringing you were raised in, we all have some basic needs for kino touch. Harry Harlow conducted research tests with laboratory monkeys. He provided two synthetic mothers for the baby monkeys. One robot mother was made of cold, hard wire, and the second mother was composed of soft, warm terry cloth. The wire mother was the only one providing milk. It turned out that after feeding, the baby monkeys liked to go hang out with the warm fuzzy mommy. Go figure. We all have a primitive side to us that responds to soft touch in a nurturing way. In some ways, kino communicates more directly than words do. Certain kinds of kino stimulate the release of oxytocin and other hormones that promote bonding and trust. “Energetic Kino” is the transmission of the same types of body-to-body information, only without physical touching. You don’t have to touch someone physically to excite the kinesthetic system. If I thrust my fist within inches of your nose, you may react. Similarly, if I trace my open palm and fingers above your forearm in a sliding motion, you may feel that too. Some spiritual disciplines teach a form of healing energy emanating from your thumbs, fingers, and palms. Energetic Kino can also extend from your eyes. To practice activating your Energetic Kino transfer system, simply imagine light, water, fire, lasers, or whatever flowing medium you choose, in whatever color you choose, emitting from your body. So, what kind of information can kino transmit?

Formal Kino Formal Kino expresses, “I won’t hurt you.” Examples of Formal Kino include: • • • •

Handshake Standing Bow (Exchange of Energetic Kino) Seated Kneeling Bow Fist Touch or Double Fist Touch (In Boxing)

Consoling Kino Consoling Kino expresses, “I empathize and sympathize with you.”

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

2

On Kino Escalation Examples of Consoling Kino include: • • • • • • •

Shoulder Pat Shoulder Rub Upper Back Pat Upper Back Rub Head on Shoulder Hug Upper Arm Squeeze Knee Squeeze

Consoling Kino can either be sincere or joking. A good way to escalate kino is to tease your partner about some magnified difficulty. “Wassa matta, you can’t open that twist top? Poor thing. (Upper Arm Squeeze) Here, let me get that for you.” Back-rubs may also be applied during consoling expressions. You might even try exaggerating consolations. "My boss sucks!" "Oh, I'm so sorry." (Upper Back Rub).

Friendly Kino Casual Friendly Kino expresses, "I respect you." Examples of Friendly Kino include: • • • • • • •

Shoulder Pat Back Pat Upper arm poke Upper arm squeeze Wrist Pat Wrist Squeeze Knee pat

• • • • • •

Knee squeeze Hand Rest on Closest Shoulder Forearm Rest on Closest Shoulder Cheek Pinch Polite Hand Kiss Hand to forehead touch (Familial Respect Attestation in Philippine Culture) • The "Butt Pat" is a part of Friendly Kino in some sports

An early precedent of playful Friendly Kino is best established from the get-go of a new relationship as a demonstration of the suave, gregarious person you are. Good friends can be rough and tumble with each other to create bonding rapport, but a new friend should be treated more gently. Think of a bird landing on a branch. The bird doesn’t go “SMACK“ into the branch forcefully. It slows down and hovers just for an instant before alighting comfortably onto its landing. Be the bird. Look for opportunities in your dialog to experiment with Friendly Kino. For example, upperarm squeezes may be applied at exclamation points in your speech, or at the punch lines of jokes.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

3

On Kino Escalation If you are presently not someone who participates in Friendly Kino with those around you naturally and continuously, you may want to change some habits. It will not happen overnight. Conscious effort, attention, and practice will be required to change those habits and there may be some awkward moments along the way. That’s just part of learning new social skills. If you take an attitude of adventure, experimentation and light-hearted fun on your mission, it will be that much more enjoyable. Pay attention to how friends kino each other on television and in the real world. Model and copy their behavior. Kino Games Initiating friendly Kino Games with a new partner is a great way to break the ice: • Slaps / Hot Hands • Thumb Wrestling • Simon Says

Sensual Kino Sensual Kino expresses, "I like you." Sensual kino gives pleasure to the person receiving the attention, and sometimes to the giver at the same time. Examples of Sensual Kino include: • • • • • • • •

Finger Play Hand Hold Around Waist Hand Rest on Far Shoulder Yawn to Hand rest on Far Shoulder Extended Hand Kiss Caresses Massage Hand Play The Caress as Sensual Kino Caressing motions can be in a straight line, circles, figure eight formations, or random meanderings. Eons of trudging through forests and jungles left thick skin on our back, and the outsides of our arms and legs. The skin is thinner and more sensitive to caresses on the insides of the arms and legs, as well as the front part of the body. A variation of the moving caress is the still caress, simply touching, resting, or pressing according to the following strengths: Energetic Caress Float your fingertips above the skin, never actually touching the skin or the body hair, but only transmitting warm energy into your partner’s body. Some people are less sensitive to body energy than others.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

4

On Kino Escalation Floating Caress Float your fingertips above the skin, never actually touching the skin, but only stimulating the hairs above the skin. Feather Caress Touch the skin as lightly as possible, barely on and barely off. Soft Caress Apply moderate pressure into the skin, just enough to feel the pliability of the body part. Deep Caress Apply maximum pressure, just before the point of pain, to stimulate deep tissues. Common Caress Locations • • • • • • • •

Hand Wrist Upper Arm Lower Arm Upper Back Lower Back Earlobe Neck

• • • • • • • •

Head Hair Eyebrow Nose Cheek Jawbone Chin Knee Leg

Massage as Sensual Kino Massage is the process of rubbing and stroking the body to relax muscles, increase blood flow, and provide sensuous stimulation. Massage can be Friendly Kino, for example if the massage was paid for. Massage can also be Intimate Kino if sexual arousal is initiated. Most Massage certainly gives relaxation and pleasure to it’s recipient, so we’ll classify it under Sensual Kino. Types of Massage Body Part Massages • • • • •

Hand Massage Neck Massage Back Massage Forearm Massage Foot Massage

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

5

On Kino Escalation Massage Styles • Deep Tissue Massage works gradually into inner bodily structures with a gradual application of pressure. • Swedish Massage uses six basic strokes consisting of: 1. Effleurage to warm up the muscle with soft pumping motions into the body. 2. Pertrissage works the deep muscles with kneading, squeezing and lifting motions. 3. Friction works in lines or circles creating heat and increasing circulation. 4. Tapotement is a soft tapping, percussive motion, sometimes with karate-chop hands. 5. Compression works to squeeze soft body parts, moving lymph and stimulating organs. 6. Vibration works after applying pressure, to initiate a rapid sideways shaking motion to loosen the muscles. • Hawaiian Lomi Lomi Massage uses four rhythmic strokes to increase circulation and lymphatic drainage. • Reiki is an ancient healing technique that channels healing energy through our hands promoting physical, mental, spiritual and emotional balance. • Shiatsu is a five thousand year old Japanese physiotherapy approach based on the body's energy channels and pressure points. Hand Play as Sensual Kino “If the eyes are windows into the soul, then the hands are windows into the heart.” ~ Don Diego Garcia The movie “Soapdish” with Kevin Kline and Elisabeth Shue has a great scene where Kevin explores hand play with Beth.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

6

On Kino Escalation Hand Shake

The Hand Shake certainly may start as Formal Kino, but can be extended temporally into to Playful Kino. Same Hand Pinky Swear

The Same Hand Pinky Swear is a brief playful game where you ask your partner to swear to keep a secret or make a promise. The first step is to interlock pinky fingers. The second step is to press thumbs together:

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

7

On Kino Escalation Opposite Hand Pinky Swear The same game can be played with opposite hands. Step 1:

Step 2:

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

8

On Kino Escalation Resting Hand Brush

If seated at a table together, you can place your hand adjacent to your partners’. The most subtle contact can be made just by resting your hand close to your partners. As an option, you can just place your hand nearby, but not physically touching, and practice your Energetic Kino.

If your partner takes the initiative and rests their hand on yours, they are sharing in mutual Kino Escalation.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

9

On Kino Escalation Index Finger Hold

Babies will instinctually grasp a finger placed in their palm. You can test your partner’s grasping reaction by placing your index finger in their open hand. This may be a little sensual, so make sure you have established some friendly rapport first.

If your partner grasps onto your index finger, they have accepted your Kino Advance test.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

10

On Kino Escalation Thumb Interlace Hand Hold

The Thumb Interlace hand hold is your basic hand hold. Holding hands may be interpreted as playful Friendly Kino or more serious Sensual Kino. Snaking Hand Hold

A variation of the hand hold can be discovered by snaking your hands around each other, similar to walking arm-in-arm, but at the hand level.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

11

On Kino Escalation Finger Interlace

If you interlace fingers with your partner and their hand remains open or limp, this is a sign that they are not expanding their Kino Comfort Zone to meet your Kino Advance. You should probably gracefully let her hand go without sulking, and develop more rapport.

A finger interlace that is met with your partner’s fingers closing around your hand is a sign that your partner’s Kino Comfort Zone has been expanded to include this activity. A finger interlaced hand hold is a bit more sensual than the thumb interlaced hand hold.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

12

On Kino Escalation Finger Interlace From Behind

The Finger Interlace can be approached from the back of your partner’s hand.

Of course, Reverse Kino where your partner takes your hand from behind is nice too.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

13

On Kino Escalation Fingertip Hand Hold

The Fingertip Hand Hold is a fun variation of the hand hold where only the fingertips of the hands are touching. This light hand hold is airy, giving a sense of freedom and connection at the same time. It could be friendly or sensual. Non-Hand Sensual Kino Hands are not the only means of kino communication. While standing you could softly bump your partner with your hip. While seated you could play footsies or kneesies.

Intimate Kino Intimate Kino expresses, “I love you.” Examples of Intimate Kino include passionate kissing and other erotic touching. The cornucopia of intimate activities that you can share with your partner could fill volumes larger than the Kama Sutra. Specific kino that expresses arousing sexual bliss is out of scope for this e-book. By the time you reach a level where both you and your partner are ready for the exchange of Intimate Kino, nature will take its course. Kino escalation from Formal to Consoling to Friendly to Sensual to Intimate, involves a series of Kino Advances. Before we can discuss the Kino Advance, we must first establish the Kino Comfort Zone:

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

14

On Kino Escalation The Kino Comfort Zone

The Kino Comfort Zone is a Don Diego Garcia original model for StyleLife.com discussion purposes. No model captures all the nuances of the real world. Even supercomputers can only predict the weather out to eight days or so. The colors in the Kino Comfort Zone represent the Kino Escalation steps found on the front page, namely: • • • • •

“I “I “I “I “I

consent consent consent consent consent

to to to to to

exchanging exchanging exchanging exchanging exchanging

Formal Kino with you”: Consoling Kino with you”: Friendly Kino with you”: Sensual Kino with you”: Intimate Kino with you”:

RED ORANGE YELLOW YELLOW-GREEN GREEN

Your partner’s Kino Comfort Zone will be different with different people, and also at different times. It is a completely dynamic variable. When you first meet someone, they will probably greet you with their Kino Comfort Zone set to “Formal”. The BLUE circle defines a person’s acceptable range of kino exchange with you at any given time.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

15

On Kino Escalation The Default Kino Comfort Zone: Formal Kino

Most people live their lives with their default Kino Comfort Zone set to formal. Introductions to new friends and associates are usually met with Formal Kino, for example. The Kino Advance The movie “The Piano” with Holly Hunter and Harvey Keitel, demonstrates a torturously long series of Kino Advances. Holly spends most of the film covered head to toe in 19th century multi-layered couture. In once scene Harvey crawls under the piano, and finds a single solitary hole in her sock eaten away by a moth. He carefully touches her there with the tip of his finger to give her the kino that escalates the relationship. Kino escalation is composed of performing a series of Kino Advances. Each advance needs to be evaluated for its result before making another advance. Kino Advances are a form of experimental test to see how your partner is receiving your body communication. Let’s say, as a case study, that you have spent some time with your new partner, and have already established an exchange of Friendly Kino as mutually acceptable. You are now in the process of making a Kino Advance to Sensual Kino with an attempt to squeeze your partner’s knee and leave your hand there while seated together.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

16

On Kino Escalation Case Study: Kino Advance From Friendly Kino to Sensual Kino

A Kino Advance does not guarantee a change in your partner’s Kino Comfort Zone. As we said, in this example, your partner started at level YELLOW: Friendly Kino. Now, wile seated next to them, when you squeeze your partner’s knee and leave your hand there, this is an attempt to advance your partner’s Kino Comfort Zone into the YELLOW-GREEN zone: Sensual Kino. What are the possible results of your Kino Advance test? • • • • •

Kino Kino Kino Kino Kino

Comfort Comfort Comfort Comfort Comfort

Zone Zone Zone Zone Zone

Collapse Contraction Maintenance Expansion Acceleration

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

17

On Kino Escalation Kino Comfort Zone Collapse

This would be the worse case scenario. A complete blow-out. In a Kino Comfort Zone collapse, your partner will shut down completely and become frigid and cold. No further kino, not even Formal Kino will be accepted. A Kino Comfort Zone collapse might not happen often, but it’s not unthinkable. Perhaps your partner’s father used to beat them with a stick on the knee, and by touching that area, you stimulated some terrible memories that causes your partner to cry. “Don’t touch me. Take me home, now. I just want to go home!” Game over. I don’t mean to scare you and insinuate that this is a common scenario, but because it is possible, I want you to be aware of it. A negative, but less severe outcome to your Kino Advance, which allows you to still stay in the game and recover, would be a Kino Comfort Zone contraction:

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

18

On Kino Escalation Kino Comfort Zone Contraction

If your Kino Advance is not met with acceptance, you may “lose points” and Kino Credit may be revoked. If your partner is not pleased with your Kino Advance, they may respond with a Kino Withdrawal, resulting in a Kino Comfort Zone Contraction. In our example, your partner may remove your hand from their knee and return it to your knee and even give you a stern look or wag their finger at you. In this case, Even Friendly Kino (YELLOW) is temporarily outside of their comfort zone, and you will have to take a step back and return to Formal Kino (RED) and Consoling Kino (ORANGE) for the time being. If your partner stands their ground and does not allow your Kino Advance, but does not contract their Kino Comfort Zone, then this would result in Kino Comfort Zone Maintenance:

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

19

On Kino Escalation Kino Comfort Zone Maintenance

If your partner responds to your Kino Advance by limiting the behavior, but not thinking any less of you, then they have maintained their Kino Comfort Zone at the level previous to the Kino Advance. Some people need time in the status quo to develop rapport with a new partner before they are willing to expand their Kino Comfort Zone around them. Press the “Reset” button on your Kino Advance and save it for later. How long to wait before your next Kino Advance will depend on your partner’s Kino Comfort Zone viscosity. In our example, your partner might take your hand from their knee and return it to your knee while smiling at you and holding your hand at your knee for a few seconds to let you know their feelings aren’t hurt. Conscious and Unconscious Kino Averseness Some people are touch averse. They respond negatively to most kino advances. Learn to tell the difference between conscious and unconscious touch averseness by being aware of the timing of the rejection. If your partner instantly jerks away from any attempt to touch them, there may be an unconscious touch aversion present. If your touch is accepted for a few seconds and then calmly rejected, the aversion is probably conscious. They probably accepted you at an internal level, but then reconsidered the propriety of the advance with their logical mind. People with unconscious touch aversion will take much longer to establish a sensual relationship with than those without it. If your partner accepts your Kino Advance, then you have succeeded in expanding their Kino Comfort Zone.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

20

On Kino Escalation Kino Comfort Zone Expansion

When your partner accepts your Kino Advance and adapts to the new familiarity that you two are enjoying, they expand their Kino Comfort Zone to include more activities that you two can share together. In our example, by squeezing your partner’s knee, and leaving your hand there, you have given your partner pleasure that they are enjoying by your touch. They leave your hand there, and may even give you a smile, lean in to you a bit, or place their hand on top of yours softly. Some people respond very positively to touch, and they kino you back! This is called Kino Comfort Zone Acceleration:

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

21

On Kino Escalation Kino Comfort Zone Acceleration

Because our example started at Friendly Kino (YELLOW) with an advance to Sensual Kino (YELLOW-GREEN) the only accelerated level available for demonstration purposes is Intimate Kino (GREEN). The way the diagram is presented actually shows a Kino Comfort Zone Explosion, where every possible form of kino is accepted and even encouraged. Kino Accelerations and Explosions happen now-and-again between people who really “click” with each other to become intimate within hours or even sometimes minutes of meeting each other. As a reminder, this is just a model of the chaotic real world. Further, this example also is only illustrative. There may be different shades of sensual touching that are inside and outside of their comfort zone. This refinement might be represented by a BLUE circle that was part-way between the Friendly Kino and Sensual Kino boundaries, not pictured. As you can see there are a variety of reactions that can be made in response to a Kino Advance. Constantly gauge your partner’s reaction. If they do pull away, push you away, respond coldly, or negatively to any one Kino Advance, don't get all freaked-out and think it's “Game Over”. You may not even have to mention it. Just chill, backtrack, regroup, and get back on the horse! Some people are touch-averse and are more challenging to warm up to. Others will paw you upon meeting you. Be flexible. Work with what you are comfortable with and don't overdo it or under-do it. Balance in all things, all things in balance. Be flexible, and don’t forget to lead with harmony.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

22

On Kino Escalation Case Study Review: Possible Kino Advance Results

There are many possible responses to a Kino Advance. Your partner could shut down completely in a Kino Comfort Zone Collapse. They could be offended by your advance and revert to a Kino Comfort Zone Contraction. If the status quo is guarded, the Kino Comfort Zone will be maintained at the level prior to the Kino Advance. With practice and care, your Kino Advances will be met with an Expansion of your partner’s Kino Comfort Zone, allowing for a greater number of sensual activities you can share together. A few people who are Kino Multipliers will magnify your Kino Advance, and accelerate you into kino bliss.

Adopt a Kino Attitude It’s tough enough to be out in the field, trying out new openers, timing your disqualifiers, getting your stories just right, and memorizing new “Kino Moves”. You can ease your transition to being the King of Kino by adopting the following attitudes at the appropriate times: “How would I be exchanging kino with my partner as if they were my friend or buddy?” “How would I be exchanging kino my partner as if they were my sensual significant other?” By asking yourself these questions and using the answers to guide your Kino Advances, you can learn to know what to do at the right time. As in all arts and disciplines, it will take practice and lessons learned, so don’t get discouraged.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

23

On Kino Escalation Some relationships are almost entirely “indirect” verbally, but “direct” when it comes to kino. Once a level of Friendly Kino has been established, your kino relationship is subject to Relationship Building Blocks and Relationship tests: Relationship Building Blocks

Relationship Tests

I advance kino. I’m warm to you. I encourage formal kino. I encourage consoling kino. I encourage friendly kino. I encourage sensual kino. I encourage intimate kino.

I withdraw kino. I’m cold to you. I discourage formal kino. I discourage consoling kino. I discourage friendly kino. I discourage sensual kino. I discourage intimate kino.

As with all Relationship Tests, great care must be considered as to timing and degree. When fishing, if you pull the line too hard it will rip the hook out. If the line has too much slack, the fish may wiggle loose. Sensory acuity, repetition, persistence, and most of all learning will earn you the skills required to dine on the finest the sea has to offer. San Francisco houses a wonderful hands-on museum called the Exploratorium. There they have this huge 300 pound concrete block suspended from the ceiling with a metal sheath around it. Standing behind a rope fence, you are armed with only a flimsy shoe string attached to a refrigerator magnet. With this meager apparatus, you are supposed to swing the magnet, latch it onto the cement block, and gently pull the humungous block with just enough force to move it, but not enough to break off your magnet. Wait until the pendulum has swung away, and then oh-so tenderly pull with your magnet again. Each miniscule pull adds to the total momentum of the giant weight. With enough successful pulls you have this behemoth swaying back-and-forth like a dancing elephant. Be the magnet.

Fertilize with Kino Fractionation The best kino relationships are not always advancing; sometimes you need to take two steps forward, and one step back. In Hypnosis Theory, fractionation is the process of placing the subject in a light trance, then back to a normal state, then into a medium trance, then back to a normal state, then into a deep trance. This process can also be applied to your intermediate-level kino technique. If your kino advances are always “on” with your partner, they may become desensitized or even irritated by them. By carefully shifting between being “on” and “off”, moderating your kino advances and withdrawals, you can fertilize your relationship with a kind of Kino Fractionation that will feel better and stronger to you both. Many people do this naturally or unconsciously as part of their relationship in the form of mood cycles.

Public and Private Kino Maintain awareness of who witnesses your Kino Advances. Public displays of affection may cause embarrassment to your partner depending on their disposition.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

24

On Kino Escalation Consider the hand-on-the-knee example above. If you were seated next to your partner at a park bench, this would be a Public Kino Advance. But if you were seated together at a dinner table, then this could be a Private Kino Advance. Exercise caution in when in public, and consider who may be watching. Turn on your Kino-Radar for Public Kino when you are out of the house. Watch-and-learn how people kino each other. Your observations will serve as examples of socially acceptable, out-in-the-open, Public Kino. Once you have some ideas, you can start to practice with your friends, both men and women. The reason you should practice all the time with everyone is so that it will feel more natural when you are with your special someone. Most of the time you are not privy to watch lovers perform their Private Kino dance of love, but you can watch romantic movies and soap operas to get plenty of demonstrations of Private Sensual Kino. For example, as a Kino Advance, you could relate a story about a romantic show you saw: "You know, I was watching my hero, James Bond, the other day, and at one point, he just stopped, looked deeply into the Bond Girl's eyes, and gently took a lock of her silky smooth hair and placed it behind her delicate ear like this (Demonstrate Kino) Do you think the actress who was playing the role got as excited as her character appeared to get in the movie?”

Reverse Kino There may be times when you find a partner who rubs you affectionately all over your arm, shoulder and back, in a way that no one else can see, but you can certainly feel. This is known as Reverse Kino, when your partner Kino Advances you. They might put their hands on you, or you might place their hands on you, as in this example: Her: “... I’m a cosmetologist, I do facials.” Me: “Oh, really, how is my skin?” I presented my cheek. Her: “Huh? I don’t understand.” The bar was too noisy. Me: “My skin, how is my skin?” I lifted her hand and raised it to my cheek. Her: She made soft caressing circles. “Mmm. Soft!” She smiled. A nearly infinite number of options are available for Kino Advances and Kino Withdrawals. I’m going to share with you a small sampling of the Kino Methods I have developed:

Anchoring Kino When an internal state of mind becomes temporally associated with a specific touch, that is called a Touch Anchor. In comparison, Pavlov used an Auditory Anchor, the sound of a bell, to condition his dog to salivate on cue. Anchors are fun to play with. Here is an example of an experience I had involving anchoring: I met a lady who liked to talk about psychology, so I introduced her to anchoring. Now, I didn't have a routine prepared, but I do understand the concepts, so I had her recall and Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

25

On Kino Escalation associate strongly with experiences of Happiness, Anticipation, and Warm Sensuality. At the highest point of remembering, I anchored with a gentle stroking motion on her thumb. For each state, I took her through a detailed, sensory-rich description and returning. When I fired the anchor at the conclusion of our session she blushed, laughed and covered her mouth shyly.

Don Diego Garcia (DDG) Hug Test A good time for the Don Diego Garcia Hug Test is upon meeting, taking leave, or anytime really. Plant your feet and open your arms. Your partner will enter your personal space. Close your arms around your partner and hug them. Don't use physical energy to put pressure into the hug. Use Spiritual Energy to hold the hug. Use your imagination to create a powerful, warm Energy Beam encircling the two of you, gently binding you two together. The Energy penetrates your body, flowing from your shoulders to your elbows, to your fingertips, pulling your arms around her. Loosen and soften your entire shell with a firm internal support. Straighten your spine and un-slouch your back. Melt into your partner. Melt your partner into you. Be aware of their response and the time. Don't let them go first. If they let go due to automatic conditioning, take that separation energy and immediately return it to the hug, you may be able to recover. If they let go with serious intention to disconnect, open your arms. Being sensitive to this difference is critical and takes acute awareness and calibration skills. If you misread their intent, and they misreads yours, they may feel you are being pushy. Friendly goodbye hugs rarely last longer than three seconds. If the hug has gone longer than six seconds, it has morphed into an embrace, and a green light for a Kino Advance has been turned on.

DDG Hug Test Semi-Embrace Option If they pulls away and don’t let go, they may separate into a semi-embrace at arms length. Touch foreheads and whisper sweet nothings. If you are tall, swing both of you around and lean your butt on the car, wall, or firm object behind you. Open your legs and bend your knees so that you can see your partner and talk to them at eye level, which also happens to be mouth level. Keep your hands around their mid-section; their hands should be around your neck. Mesmerize your partner with soft, adoring eye contact. Evaluate if they need more verbal rapport building, while in an arms-length semi-embrace, or if it's time for a Kino Advance.

DDG Hug Test Lift Option When you go to scoop your partner in with your arms, also scoop them upward. This will remind them of being a little child in Daddy's arms. If they are conservative, it may be best not to do a complete lift, lifting them off the ground and spinning around. It's more of an Energetic Lift, barely perceptible to the conscious mind.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

26

On Kino Escalation DDG Handshake to Arm-In-Arm Make sure you get on the right side of your partner. In addition to preparing for an arm hold, another reason to stand on their right side is to talk into their right ear. The brain's language centers are in the left hemisphere of the brain, which read from the right ear. You: "Oh, my. We haven't been introduced properly... I'm Diego." Them: "I'm Soanso." Shake hands. At conclusion of hand shake, don't let go. Lower the right hand slightly still holding theirs. Raise the left hand and reach over the right hand, and forward. Start turning your body in direction you both are headed. Take their hand that you are holding, raise it up slightly, behind your left forearm, and forward over your left forearm. Lower your left forearm slightly and bend your left elbow. When letting go of their hand, lightly press and melt their hand onto the top and front of your left forearm. Let go of their hand with a sliding downward motion. You both should be facing the same direction. You could either remain standing, or start walking arm-in-arm. If they pull you in tight and grasp their right hand with their left, or grasps your left arm with both of their hands, this is an indication of a Kino Comfort Zone Acceleration. If they let their hand slip off, it is an indication of Kino Comfort Zone Maintenance. In this case, recalibrate, continue walking and resume conversation naturally as if nothing has happened. Practice with a friend before pulling this off for the first time in the field.

DDG Seated Femur Hold To be exact, it's not precisely knee-holding, like cupping the patella, but extending body energy into the area just above the knee and below the thigh. The middle-finger and opposing thumb can get a nice solid, firm but gentle grip on the lower neck of the femur. This hold connects directly to the hormone releasers in their brain.

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

27

On Kino Escalation Seated Car Kino Sitting together or riding together in the car is a great place to escalate kino, for example: • • • • • • • • • •

Soft Belly Pokes Hand on your leg or center console, barely touching their knee Squeeze your partner’s knee at emphatic expressions in your conversation Resting your hand on your partner’s knee Resting your hand on your partner’s knee with their hand resting on top Putting your partner’s hand on your knee (Reverse Kino) Putting your partner’s hand on your knee with your hand resting on top (Reverse Kino) Holding hands Arm around shoulders Arm around waist

For example: "My hands are cold, could you warm them up, please." (Light command tonality.) "Use both hands together and rub in circles." This can proceed naturally into a finger-interlace hand-hold, or finger-tip caresses.

Standing Kino Many social situations take place while people are standing, like at a bar. Examine the samples above and consider adapting them to standing situations, or experiment with createing your own. "Kino, Kino, Kino, Kino, Kino Cha-me-le-on, You Come and Go, You Co-ome and Go-o-o-o" ~ Boy George (Not Really)

Copyright © 2006 Stylelife. All rights reserved. http://www.stylelife.com/

28