My Day by Jonesy: A Cat's Eye View of Alien

MY DAY BY JONESY: A CAT'S EYE VIEW OF ALIEN

When, at the end of Alien of Alien,, Sigo!ne" Wea#e! Wea#e! $a"$, %Thi$ i$ i $ &i(e", (a$t $!#i#o! of the  No$t!o)o, $igning off,% $he'$ not te((ing the *ho(e t!th+ Bea$e the!e'$ anothe! $!#i#o!, !(ed  *ith he! in the h"e!$(ee a$(e+ Jone$ -o! Jone$e". the ginge! to)+ Jone$ $e!#e$ )(ti(e fntion$ *ithin the Alien the Alien $to!"(ine:  $to!"(ine: /. CATGUFFIN , a !ete0t fo! ha!ate!$ to go *ande!ing off on thei! o*n+ 1. CATPANION, an e0$e fo! &i(e" to e0!e$$ he!$e(f ot (od *hen $he'$ othe!*i$e a(one+ 2. CATSHOCK , a hea $ho3 tati in *hih the at 4)$ ot ne0eted("+ 5. CATSCALLION, a *i(d a!d6 at the end of the fi(), the at )ight "et 7e ha!7o!ing an a(ien+ In $ho!t, one annot o#e!e$ti)ate the i)o!tane of Jone$ to Alien to Alien++ Thi$ i$ hi$ $to!"+

MY DAY 7" JONE JONESY SY Y8a8*8n+ Wa$ Y8a8*8n+ Wa$ 4$t ha#ing ha#in g a (ea$ant d!ea) a7ot a7o t e#i$e!ating a $)a(( fa)i(" of fie(d)ie *hen the an8oene! tied )e off he! he$t 7" $itting + I)o$$i7(e to go 7a3 to $(ee *ith the an8oene!$ a(( af(tte! (i3e thi$+ S8t8!8e8t88h+ The" $ee) to thin3 *e'!e ho)e+ I o(d te(( the) *e'!e not, 7t I'(( (ea#e the) to *o!3 that ot fo! the)$e(#e$+ No $en$e of di!etion, the$e eo(e+ Bt he", $ine I') a*a3e, )ight a$ *e(( ta3e ad#antage of the $itation to t3 into $o)e )ogg"no$h+ I eat at the 7ig ta7(e, (i3e e#e!"one e($e+ I ha#e )" o*n 7o*( *ith JONES ainted on the $ide $o the an8oene!$ *on't $tea( )" food+ Sine it doe$n't (oo3 a$ thogh an"one'$ going 7a3 into h"e!$(ee an" ti)e $oon, I do )" $a( at!o( a!ond the 7o*e($ of the $hi+ Yeah, no hange$ he!e+ E#e!"thing 4$t a$ I (eft it+ Bt a(( that at!o((ing i$ e0ha$ting, $o I ta3e a na 7ehind $o)e nie *a!) ie$ in one of the 7oi(e! !oo)$+ Hmmmm !oo)$+ Hmmmm++ 9a)$te!$+ C!nh" (itt(e 7one$+ Hmmmm 7one$+ Hmmmm++ ++ Wo3en 7" the $hi (anding $o)e*he!e+ Not Ea!th thogh, Wo3en thog h, $o go 7a3 to $(ee+ Wo3en again  7" a (ot of $hoting and ne!oti ati#it" o)ing f!o) $o)e*he!e on the fa! $ide of the #e$$e(+ 9one$t(", an't the$e eo(e $ho* a ha!d*o!3ing fe(ine an" !e$et Bt he", $ine I')  no*, )ight a$ *e(( go on the hnt fo! $ae !odent$+ Space rodents! Who rodents! Who a) I 3idding No $h thing, of o!$e+ When *e fi!$t too3 off f!o) ea!th, )an" at8"ea!$ ago, the!e *a$ a fa)i(" of !at$ ne$ting in the engine !oo), 7t I $oon $o!ted the) ot+ Ma"7e too $oon6 )a"7e I $ho(d ha#e (eft the) a(one to 7!eed a 7it, $o thei! de$endant$ o(d ha#e ente!tained )e d!ing the !e$t of the #o"age+ The!e'$ nothing (eft to hnt+ Nothing+ Bt ho* *a$ I to 3no* *e'd 7e ooed  fo! $o (ong An"ho*, I offe!ed gene!o$ gift$ of dead !at to e#e!"one in the !e*, e0et the one *ho doe$n't $)e(( (i3e the othe!$6 he t!ied to $t!o3e

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)e one, 7t got the !h"th) a(( *!ong and hi$ finge!$ *e!e too ha!d, $o )ain(" I $tee! (ea! of hi) no*+

Do;e off again in the ti(it" !oo), then *a3e  fo! anothe! !ond of at!o((ing, *hih *ea!$ )e ot, $o I na $o)e )o!e+ Who need$ h"e!$(ee, eh Bt a(( thi$ e0e!i$e ha$ )ade )e hng!", $o *hen I') *o3en  7" )o!e noi$e and ati#it", thi$ ti)e o)ing f!o) the !egion of the )e$$, I $t!o(( o#e! to $ee *hat'$ going on+ Dinne! ti)e again< Yippee! The!e'$ a *ei!d $)e(( in the ai!, $o)ething I'#e ne#e! $)e(t 7efo!e 8 )a"7e the" fond $o)ething ne* to eat on that (anet *e (anded on 8 7t 7efo!e I get a hane to t!a3 it 7a3 to it$ $o!e, )" food i$ 7eing $et in f!ont of )e+ Y)+ I') not $itting at the 7ig ta7(e thi$ ti)e, 7t that'$ O=, the" t )" $eia( 7o*( on the *o!3to 7ehind the an8oene! *ho'$ not (i3e the othe!$+ I 3ee an e"e on hi) a$ I') eating, 7ea$e he'$ 7eha#ing e#en )o!e odd(" than $a(+ 9e !e)ind$ )e of )e, *hen I') *igg(ing )" 7tt, !ea!ing to one on a $)a(( edi7(e !eat!e+ 9e'$ not a at, thogh+ I') not $!e *hat he i$+ An"ho*, *e'!e a(( t3ing in togethe! and e#e!"one $ee)$ >ite 4o((" *hen a(( of a $dden one of the othe! an8oene!$ th!o*$ a fit and $ta!t$ going into $a$)$ on the ta7(e, and I !ea(i$e the *ei!d ne* $)e(( ha$ 7een o)ing f!o) hi) a(( a(ong+ A(( the othe! an8oene!$ a!e )a3ing a giganti f$$ of $a$)8g", and I fee( a 7it (eft ot and *onde! *hethe! I $ho(d !e(ai) thei! attention *ith $o)e te fe(ine anti$+ Bt ne0t thing "o 3no*, shazzam<  shazzam< Sa$)8g" ha$ $dden(" gi#en 7i!th to a hai!(e$$ 3itten *ith teeth< Cata$t!ohe< No* no8one i$ a"ing )e an" attention at a((, e#en thogh the hai!(e$$ 3itten (ea!(" ha$ no idea ho* idea ho* to 7eha#e in an8oene! o)an"+ E#en *hen it $tt(e$ off, the an8oene!$ a!e too !eoied *ith it to notie )e+ 9one$t(", if I'd 3no*n it *o(d get that $o!t of !eation, I too *o(d ha#e 7!$t ot of $o)eone'$ he$t (i3e a hea 7i!thda" a3e $t!ie!+ I $(in3 ot of the )e$$ !oo) and off into a o!ne! of a $to!e a!ea fo! a good $(3, and then the $(3 t!n$ into anothe! na+ Hmmm na+ Hmmm++ Big fat ginea8ig$, $>ea(ing a$ I+++ Wo3en 7" the $ond of a!oahing an8oene!$+ The" thin3 the"'!e 7eing $tea(th", 7t Wo3en hone$t(", the" don't ha#e a (e 8 $ond$ (i3e a he!d of e(ehant$+ The"'!e 7eha#ing 7 eha#ing odd(", *hi$e!ing to one anothe!6 I') $en$ing fea!, $o I deide to hee! the)  7" 4)ing ot ne0eted("+ Ye Ye god$< Yo'd Yo'd ha#e thoght I'd $!athed the), o! $o)ething+ Ta(3 a7ot o#e!!eation+ An"ho*, An"ho*, the" don't $ee) to a!eiate a !eiate )" f!iend(" ge$t!e $o I $3edadd(e into i nto the a((8*eathe! #ehi(e !oo)+ Aha, the hai!(e$$ 3itten ha$ 7een in he!e, I an te((+ And he!e'$ one of the an8oene!$, o)ing afte! )e to ao(ogi$e fo! hi$ g!ae(e$$ 7eha#io!+ 9e'$ going, %9e!e 3itt", 3itt", 3itt"% and )a3ing )iao*ing noi$e$+ Who doe$ he thin3 he'$ 3idding It'$ e)7a!!a$$ing+ E#en the ne*87o!n hai!(e$$ 3itten i$n't going to fa(( fo! that !a+ In fat, thi$ an8oene! i$ $ta!ting to i$$ )e off *ith the atent in$ine!it" of hi$ %9e!e Jone$e"% $hti3 $o I $a)e! ne0t doo! into the !oo) *he!e the" 3ee the 7ig d!i((+++

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?h8oh+ So)ething not >ite !ight in he!e+ Bette! !et!eat into a $)a(( o!ne!, 4$t in a$e+ Manage to a#oid the o!ing !ain in the )idd(e of the !oo), thogh the an8oene!, *ho'$ fo((o*ed )e, hang$ a!ond in it, (i3e he thin3$ he'$ ta3ing a $ho*e! o! $o)ething+ 9one$t(", h)an$ !ea((" a!e $tid+ An"ho*, the hai!(e$$ 3itten o$  7ehind hi), e0et it aea!$ to ha#e had $o)e $o!t of g!o*th $!t, $o I hi$$ at it, 4$t to $ho* it *ho'$ 7o$$, and that $ee)$ to *o!3 $ine it igno!e$ )e o)(ete(" and deide$ to (a" *ith the an8oene! in$tead+ E#en $o, I') a (itt(e )iffed at 7eing igno!ed again, $o e#enta((" I t!n )" 7a3 on the) 7oth, and (ea#e the) to it+ I $end $o)e ti)e finding a $ita7(e (ae to ta3e a $ie$ta6 *hat *ith a(( the $hoting and !nning a!ond, it'$ getting in!ea$ing(" diffi(t to 3i in thi$ )adho$e+ It'$ 4$t non8$to ga)e$ of h)an hide8and8$ee3+ 9one$t(", *h" an't the" 4$t 3i3 7a3 and relax relax,, (i3e )e I fina((" )anage to find $o)e !e(ati#e t!an>i(it" in the ont!o( !oo), *hih i$ $a((" f(( of ati#it" 7t no* )e!if((" e)t", and e)7a!3 on a (ong and e0t!e)e(" (ea$!a7(e d!ea) in *hih I ath and (o#ing(" di$)e)7e! a $)a(( fa)i(" of #o(e$+ I') a7ot to ha#e $o)e fn *ith the (a$t $!#i#ing 7a7" #o(e *hen I') *o3en  7" the $ond of one of the an8 oene!$ a((ing )" na)e+ I an $en$e $he'$ $et and #e!" f!ightened, $o I do )" 7e$t to hee! he!  7" (eaing ot ne0eted("+ St!ange(", thi$ on(" $eed$ in $etting he! e#en )o!e, $o *hen $he a!oahe$ )e again I go a(( f(o" and a((o* he! to i3 )e + T!i3ed< Ne#e! t!$t a an8oene!+ Too Too (ate, I $ee the d!eaded at7a$3et, the one the" $e *hene#e! the" *ant to ta3e )e to the Cat Doto! of E#i(, and 7efo!e I ha#e ti)e to !eat I')  7eing th!$t in$ide and ne0t thing "o 3no*, I') t!aed+ Da!n<

 No$t!o)o i$ )a3ing h"$te!ia( hooting noi$e$ and f(a$hing it$ (ight $ on and off+ Thi$ i$ a(( !athe! e0iting, 7t a$ I') 7eing fe!!ied th!ogh the a$$age$ and *a(3*a"$ I fee( he((e$$, and *o(d !ea((" !athe! 7e f!ee to !n a!ond+ A($o, the an8oene! i$ h!(ing he!$e(f a!ond (i3e no7od"'$ 7$ine$$, $o it'$ not a $)ooth 4o!ne", I an te(( "o+ An"ho* *e !o(( to a $to, and I an te(( $t!aighta*a" it'$ 7ea$e *e'#e !n $(a8da7 into the hai!(e$$ 3itten again+ On(" I') not $!e I an a(( it a 3itten an" )o!e 8 it'$ !ea((" 7ig no*+ 9one$t(", it'$ (i3e a $e!8giant at+ Bt $ine it'$ $ti(( on(" a fe* ho!$ o(d and (ea!(" ha$n't 7een ho$et!ained and ha$n't a (e ho* to g!oo) it$e(f o! 7eha#e in an8oene! o)an", I $ha(( ontine to a(( it a 3itten+ Bea$e, tehnia((", that'$ *hat it i$+

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f!the! do*n the food8hain, and *hethe! I $ho(d 7e eaten o! *o!$hied+ Food8hain 7e da)ned, 7ea$e I') $!e a$ he(( a (ot f!the!  the e#o(tiona!" $a(e *hen it o)e$ to inte((igene+ So I $ei;e )" oo!tnit" and $a", %9e" 3itt", "o do !ea(i$e "o'!e going a7ot thi$ the *!ong *a"% The giant 3i((e!83itten aea!$ to 7e (i$tening, thogh it'$ not ea$" to $a" fo! $!e $ine it$ 7od" (angage i$ on a a! *ith that of a giant )o(($+ Bt I a!!" on an"*a"+ %Yo %Yo *ant the an8oene!$ to $e!#e "o "o  Yo Yo *ant the) to 4) to "o! e#e!" o))and O=, enogh a(!ead" *ith thi$ !o7o$i$8th!ogh8the87!ain $tff -"eah, I $a* *hat "o did to that an8oene! 7a3 the!e.+ 9one$t(", I an te(( "o !ight no* thi$ i$ not going to get "o an"*he!e+ If "o !ea((" *ant to ont!o( the) then "o'!e going to ha#e to at te+ Yo Yo 3no*, !o(( on "o! 7a3, $ho* the) "o! t))", get get the) to ti3(e "o o! $o)ething+ The" $ee) to (i3e it *hen "o n;;(e the), too+ Yo Yo )ight t!" t !" n;;(ing the) *ith that !o7o$i$ of "o!$ 8 thogh not too ha!d, and not th!ogh the 7!ain, O=% The giant 3i((e!83itten i$n't $a"ing an"thing+ =eeing it$ a!d$ (o$e to it$ he$t+ Too (ate, I $ta!t *onde!ing *hethe! it *a$ $h a 7!ight idea to $ha!e )" $e!et$ of *o!(d do)ination *ith thi$ $ta!t+ What if the an8oene!$ find it te! and )o!e a)$ing than )e Wo!$e, *hat if the" $ta!t gi#ing it a(( )" food in a $eia( 7o*( )a!3ed @IANT =ILLE&8 =ITTEN I ha#e a fe* )o)ent$ of ani 7efo!e I !ea(i$e the giant 3itten i$ gone, ndo7ted(" to !o(( on it$ 7a3 and get ti3(ed 7" the an8oene!$+ Oh !a+ Loo3$ (i3e I f3ed  !o"a((" the!e+ A(( thi$ noi$e and hao$ i$ getting on )" ne!#e$, ($ I don't *ant to thin3 *hat the hai!(e$$ 3itten )ight 7e  to, $o I 7(o3 e#e!"thing ot and t!" to get a$ o)fo!ta7(e a$ I an in the at7a$3et, and e#en )anage to do;e off fo! a *hi(e, on(" to get !de(" 4e!3ed 7a3 into on$io$ne$$ *hen the an8oene! !e)ate!ia(i$e$ and g!a7$ the at7a$3et again+ Fo! hea#en'$ $a3e, an't $he a!!" )e *ithot 7atte!ing )e again$t the *a(($ An"ho* *e go into a a!t of the $ae$hi I'#e ne#e! 7een in 7efo!e, *hih )a3e$ )e !io$, 7t I an't get ot to e0(o!e !oe!(" and 7efo!e I 3no* *hat'$ going on $he'$ t!an$fe!!ing )e f!o) the at7a$3et to a h"e!$(ee a$(e and (o$ing the to, $htting )e in+ I )i$$ed a t!i3 the!e, !ea((" $ho(d ha#e )ade a 7!ea3 fo! it d!ing the t!an$fe!, $o I g!)7(e a 7it, not that $he an hea! 7ea$e the No$t!o)o i$ no* )a3ing a !idi(o$ a)ont of noi$e and f(a$hing (ight$ and (etting off $tea) and $tff+ And the" $a" I'm $a" I'm an attention8$ee3e!+

An"ho* I') $ett(ing do*n, t!"ing to )a3e the 7e$t of a 7ad $itation and thin3ing at (ea$t thi$ i$ )o!e o)fo!ta7(e than 7eing 7anged a!ond in that $tid 7a$3et+ Bt no $oone! ha#e I thoght that then the enti!e !oo) i$ 7eing 7anged a!ond (i3e !a;", and I !ea(i$e the a!t of the No$t!o)o *e'!e in ha$ detahed it$e(f+ It'$ 3ind of (i3e a )ini8No$t!o)o< Whate#e!+

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