Module 3 - First Texts

 

Learn How to Keep Her Interested from Start to Finish 1. Your first few texts tell her a lot.

There are lots of guys going after a fter the girl you’re interested in. Why? Because you picked a hottie, of course. You need to be able to separate yo yourself urself from the pack and show that you’re you ’re the top dog. Lots of guys get a girl’s number but then get so worked up they forget how to interact when they’re texting. As you move forward with her, you have to convince her every step of the way that she made the right choice to move forward with you and not the other guy. Although you’re only sending a few lines of text, you’re also transmitting signals that tell her what kind of guy you are.

For example:     

Is meeting a woman normal behavior for you? Do you have high Social Value? Are you easily manipulated or do you have a strong sense of who you are? What kind of personality do you have – can you make her laugh? Are you a needy-nerd or do you have things going on in your life?

These are just a few items she might subconsciously pick up on. When it’s all totaled up it will tell her if she’s becoming attracted to you and wants to press ahead with a relationship, or if you are not the type worth investing her time with. This seems like a lot of weight to put pu t on a few lines of text bu butt never fear, you will learn the  principles of writing extremely successful first first text messages. But first we need to examine why what most men write just doesn’t fly. 2. What not to say in a first text

For a lot of guys the first text is stress-inducing. They’ll gnash their teeth and a nd wrack their brains trying to come up with just the right communication co mmunication to kick off the new romance. The strange thing is that after all that gnashing and wracking, the best they can come up with is something like this:      

Hey what’s up? Hey cutie, it was nice meeting you last night. Want to hang out tonight? How is your day going? What are you up to? Do you remember me? (your name) Hey it’s (name) from the bar/party/club last night. What’s up?

 

These kinds of texts are typical – so typical they’re boring. Instead of setting you apart they put you squarely into the same category with everybody else. Not only do they not create a strong emotional reaction in her, and so are ineffective, but they’re also stifling any initial attraction you  built up with her when you got her number. What makes an effective first text? What goes into a first text that sets you apart and encourages her to text you back? There are three important things that your first message needs to have to make it effective. 1. It needs to to engage her emotio emotionally nally,, which will will reaffirm reaffirm her her attractio attraction n to you. 2. It needs to to be fun and playful, playful, setti setting ng an amusing amusing tone for for the upcoming upcoming interacti interaction. on. 3. It need needss tto o compe compell her her to respond respond.. If you can accomplish all three of o f these in your first text message it will insure she’ll respond in a positive way and be willing to move ahead with you. Let’s look at how each element works and how to put them together in your first text. 3. Engage her emotions

The most powerful thing you can do in creating an effective first text is engage her emotions. The idea with your first few texts is to relive the feelings of attraction that you created when you got her number. The easiest way to do this is by reminding her of a topic from your conversation with her that you both connected on or that was memorable. This will make her remember that interaction which will trigger the same emotions she was feeling. The same emotions that are the basis of her attraction to you. 4. Get her to respond

So, my friend, how do you get a hot girl to respond to your first text? The same way you would get anyone to respond, by asking something that requires more information from her. Sounds simple, but it’s really not. It can’t be just any dumb question, otherwise Hey what’s up? would be a good first text. And we know why texts like that don’t work, right? Because they’re boring and  just like what every guy she meets is sending her. Sure, they may occasionally get a response from her but they won’t move her forward in any meaningful way. So, what kind of question should you ask? Hey, since you asked I’m feeling oddly compelled to respond. Just take a simple question and re-word into something playful and fun.

Example

 

Becomes

Here’s an example of a playful statement that requires additional information:

I just figured out what you would be if you were an aanimal. nimal. If she wants to hear the answer she must text you to find out. The trick is to make it about her personally. Nothing in this world makes a person more curious than what someone else thinks about them. 5. Setting a funny tone

In case you haven’t already figured it out, third grade humor should b bee at the heart of most of your text messages, including the first one. Playful, goofy jokes win women over. And this will cause her to always associate positive, fun emotions with you. Who cares if they’re 3rd grade emotions! You can do this by using the tools provided in this system: teasing, role-playing, nicknames and anything else you remember from 3rd grade. And the way you phrase things will have a big effect on how they are perceived. 6. Nailing down an effective first text

Let’s say you were talking to a girl and she told you she liked to ride ponies when she was a little girl on the farm. She was obsessed with them and even had a stuffed pony next to her pillow. So you couldn’t resist pony-girl and got her number. nu mber. Now that it’s time to text her you ca can n draw from that story. It will show that you were listening and also to evoke all the emotions she was feeling when she was with you.  Next you need to get her to reply by adding a question or statement that calls for more information. Then you set a playful, fun tone by the wording of the question and by adding some things like nicknames, role-playing, teasing, etc. Here’s what it would look like if you put it all together:

 

Or 

As short and goofy as this message seems, it does a lot. It gets her to recall the go good od feelings she had when she shared that story with you, which re-affirms her attraction to you, it shows that you’re not like every other dude, it gets her to respond in a fun way that puts her guard down and establishes the tone for a solid interaction. The first one even lets her tell you what she has planned for the day, which you can use to take things forward and maybe set a plan to meet. Not too shabby for a couple lines of text. Okay, now that you know how to build a solid, first rate first text you can start creating your own. Important: If you’re trying to stick to a 3 day, or some other kind of rule about how long to wait until you text her, stop already! When it comes to attraction you’ve got to make contact asap. Don’t let things cool off. Don’t give her time to forget about how hot you are, or let some other guy step in. I always text within a few hours and never later than the next day. 7. Work that social network 

What do you do if you got a girl’s number quickly but didn’t get a chance to make an emotional connection to use in your first text? Because it was a quick interaction it will take a lot more work to build enough attraction to get her to agree to meet you again. By using social networking sites you can gain ga in a lot of the attraction you didn’t get during your first meet. And just about every girl in the world has h as a Facebook profile, and these days, Instagram too. So how do you yo u get her profile page info? Easy. You just ask her for it. Ask in the first couple of texts, or stick it at the end of your first text.

 

Sometimes she’ll just say yes. Just tease her and say Well how do I look you up silly.

Example

 

Getting a girl’s Facebook profile is so useful in moving the relationship to the higher levels that nearly every time I get their phone number I am soon asking for her Facebook page. Here’s why:  

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You get to see again what she looks like!! A girl’s profile is a wealth of information about her. Not only o nly do you find out more about her but you now have a lot of new things to talk to her about. If you’ve got a hot profile you can show her what a cool dude you are. She can see the comments left by your friends, great pictures of you, and otherwise find out how awesome you are. It makes her more comfortable meeting you again because she can see you are a safe  person by the normal things she’ll see on your Facebook page. Sometimes if the girl stops responding via text you can try to get her to respond through her profile. It’s easier for her because she can see who she’s communicating with, Mr. Smooth. If your profile is constructed to trigger her attraction, you’re that much better off.

You get the picture. Using social networking sites in tandem with texting is a mighty combination. In fact, there’s so many ways you can use these sites to meet, attract, and go out with beautiful women that there’s a whole section on just that up ahead. Instagram

Consider Instagram if you actively use it. It is less private, so following each other on there might be acceptable to her if you have the lightest of connections. conn ections. It will still do most of the work that Facebook does, allowing you to get to know each other better through your profiles. Instagram also allows you to take a picture, add geo-location, then see other people who have done the same thing. If there are a ton of sexy girls at a coo cooll party, fashion, show or trendy cafe, you can often find girls who might be in the neighborhood. You can follow them, and even message them on Instagram messenger. When number closing a girl, you can make a joke of asking for her Facebook, Instagram, Skype, and finally something silly like Myspace or her fax number. Check out the bonus section on Facebook for more! 8. Who is this?

Sooner or later you’ll send a text and get back the ego-deflating words, “who is this?” There are lots of reasons this can happen, so don’t feel bad when it does. Maybe her phone broke and she’s got a new one. Maybe she forgot to save your number. Maybe she’s upset that she hasn’t heard from you and decided to delete it. Whatever the reason, the way you respond is critical to moving things forward. After all, you don’t want to get “Who is this?” every time you text her, right?!

 

So how do you deal with the big 3-word question? Most guy guyss will try to remind her of how she met them. Hi this is so and so and we met at such and such a place. Now she might remember who you are, and she might not. Either way, it’s never a good idea to try and convince someone of how they should know you. It makes it seem like you’re chasing them. You can remember them just fine, but you have to remind them of how they know you. Slam. The answer is to make her WANT to know who you are. Don’t explain who you are and how she knows you right away. If you reply in a playful way without trying to explain who you are, you’ll arouse her curiosity and maybe get her to chase you. By the time she realizes who you are she’s already associated you with playful, fun emotions. This ensures she’ll save your number and be ready, willing and able to engage in texting you in the future. Here are some examples of playful ways to respond to the question:

In Action

 

Note: A good way to avoid this is by exchanging numbers instead of just getting hers. 9. Sign off first

It’s really key that you don’t let every text exchange go on and on and on. Remember, you’re supposed to be showing her your high value. If you’re always ready to chat what does she think you’re doing with your life? Well? Not much, it seems. You need to give her h er the exquisite pleasure of missing your sterling conversation and wondering wond ering what you’re thinking about her. Your mix of being busy and being available can be an intoxicating one for her, and it will subconsciously tell her a lot about you, the mystery dude. So how and when should you end a conversation? Just remember this – you are the leader. If there’s ever a point in the text exchange when there’s no need for a response, don’t respond. Simple as that. Don’t give her a chance to get annoyed or bored with you. Humans love, want

 

and crave the validation of a response. When you hold back and don’t respond, it creates little feelings of uncertainty in her.

Example

There’s no need to come back with Ok you too! Hold back on that one bit of text and she’ll start wondering why you didn’t respond. And you can be sure that the next time you text her it will be received with a hearty sigh of relief. Try to recall when you sent a girl a text in the middle of a conversation and didn’t hear back from her. After a while you started to sweat. You started to question yourself and started to think that maybe you screwed up somehow. You got that burning desire to text her again to get her to respond and reassure you that everything was just fine. When she finally did respond you felt a sense of relief. You can av avoid oid these weird feelings of anxiety by being the first one not to respond back. You be the one to end the conversation, not her. Somebody’s gotta be last – just make sure it’s not you! The last one to send out a message is the one who is left waiting for a response. If you’re engaged in an ongoing conversation with a special lady, let things move along back and forth for a while, then hold off on responding to her for an hour or so. Even if you’re having an amazing conversation. In fact, especially if you’re having an amazing conversation. Why? Because this gives her a chance to miss the conversation, and therefore miss you. Let her wonder where you went and why you’re not texting her. Let her realize she was having fun and wants to continue the exchange. 10. Remember – DON’T OVER-TEXT!!!

Whatever you do, don’t over ove r text or over call. This is so critical that yo you’ve u’ve gotta remember. Do  NOT overdo it. Believe it or not, women are watching and waiting to see if you’re going to demonstrate that you’re busy and high value, or a needy texting nerd with low value.

 

Look at it this way. Just because she doesn’t answer back right away is no reason for you to keep texting her. In fact it’s the last thing you should do. Ease up on the texting, dude. Who knows, kn ows, maybe she’s at work and got busy, or maybe she’s running a marathon and forgot her phone. The worst thing in the world would be for her to get back to h her er phone and see a few missed text messages from you. Not only will she find it annoying, anno ying, it will kill any attraction you’ve been trying to establish with her. Why? Because you have strongly signaled that you’re needy. She does not want another needy guy cluttering up her life. Keep a careful balance between how much you are each texting one another.

First Texts Recap 1. Your first text should accomplish three things:   

Re-engage her initial feelings for you Set a playful, fun-filled tone for the texting Compel her to respond

2. Ask for her Facebook profile. After she’s added you it accomplishes a few things.   

If you have a hot profile, she’ll see it and have more attraction for you. She’ll realize you’re a safe dude and not a stalker. It will give you a chance to re-engage her if things fall apart.

3. If you text her and she responds with, “who is this?” don’t forget to reply in a way that makes her really want to know who you are, instead of simply telling her. Be sure to respond in a  playful, fun way. 4. When she gets your first texts, make sure she reconnects with her feelings of attraction that you inspired when you first met her and got her number. Try referencing a memorable topic from your initial conversation. 5. You want to have a funny nickname or attribute to come up every time you text her. This will make her smile and differentiate you from the other guys. It becomes a private joke. Make it a habit to place a nickname or code word next to every name in your phone. 6. Don’t reply to every text. If a response isn’t required, don’t respond. Let her imagine why you didn’t get back to her and what you’re doing. This creates attraction and raises her intrigue level, and gets her excited about your next text.