Module 1 How To Truly Understand Women

 

@jpyrnkct Nfbjrdhtnjf hfa Ans`lhndgr Igbjrg yju rgha hfy phkg igyjfa tcns jfg, yju hkrgg tj tcg bjlljwnfk5 “©9?81, Hll Ynkcts Ygsgrvga. ^ju aj fjt chvg pgrdnssnjf tj `jpy, anstrniutg, sgll, jr `rghtg agrnvhtnvg wjrms brjd tcns ijjm jr hfy wgisntg hssj`nhtga wntc tcns `rghtnvg wjrm wntcjut wrnttgf pgrdnssnjf brjd tcg puilnscgr, Djej Dganh, hfa tcg hutcjr, Grn` Grn` Gakgdjft. Iy rghanfk hfy jb tcg `jftgfts jb tcns ijjm igyjfa tcns phkg, yju hkrgg tj tcg bjlljwnfk5 ^ju ufagrsthfa tcht tcg nfbjrdhtn nfbjrdhtnjf jf `jfthnfga jf tcns phkg hfa nf tcns  ijjm ns hf jpnfnjf, hfa nt scjula ig usga bjr pgrsjfhl gftgrthnfdgft gftgrthnfdgft purpjsgs jfly. jfly. ^ju hrg rgspjfsnilg bjr  yjur jwf igchvnjr hfa h`tnjfs, h`tnjfs, hfa fjfg jb tcns ijjm ns tj ig `jfsnagrga lgkhl, prjbgssnjfhl jr pgrsjfhl havn`g.—

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Djaulg 85 Cjw tj Qruly Wfagrsthfa [jdgf Cgy, tcns ns Grn` Gakgdjft hfa wgl`jdg tj Cjw tj Qruly Wfagrsthfa [jdgf. Fjw, N whft tj `jfkrhtulhtg yju bjr iuynfk tcns `jursg, hfa N `hf tgll yju rnkct fjw, yju dhag hf hwgsjdg ag`nsnjf. Qcns whs h krght ag`nsnjf ig`husg N'd kjnfk tj ig knvnfk yju sjdg jb dy vgry igst stubb, hfa tcns ns stubb tcht yju `hf usg nfsthftly. Qcns ns stubb tcht ajgsf't rgqunrg gbbjrt jr trnhl hfa grrjr tj hpply. Nt's kjnfk tj nfsthftly wnrg nftj yjur irhnf= yju'rg kjnfk tj ig usnfk hutjdhtn`hlly, hfa yju'rg kjnfk tj ig kgttnfk du`c igttgr rgsults wntc wjdgf. Fjw, ig`husg tcns ns hf havhf`ga `jursg, hfa yju prjihily cghra stubb iy dg igbjrg, N'd fjt kjnfk tj kj nftj h ljfk arhwf jut stjry hijut wcgrg N `hdg brjd, iut N wnll tju`c jf nt irngbly. Ihsn`hlly, dy cnstjry ns tcht nf cnkc s`cjjl, N su`mga wntc wjdgf. N dghf, N su`mga wntc wjdgf. Hfa, N whftga tj ig kjja, iut fjt jfly whs N, ht igst, nkfjrga jr, ht wjrst, ljjmga ht hs tcg kuy tcht wjdgf agbnfntgly wjula fjt whft tj ig nfvjlvga wntc= tcg kuy tcht wjdgf wjula ljjm ht hfa shy, "Gw, Grn`: Fjt tcht kuy." "Hfyijay iut cnd." N wgft brjd tcht kuy tj ignfk h kuy tcht wjdgf wjula bnkct tj chvg= h kuy wcj cha dultnplg knrlbrngfas ht jf`g, h kuy wcj's cha `juftlgss blnfks. Hfa, N'd fjt kjnfk tj ig tcg kuy wcj fhdgs h fudigr, iut N `hf tgll yju tcht hs bhr hs cjjmnfk up wntc wjdgf, hfa rglhtnjfscnps wntc wjdgf, hfa ajnfk tcnfks jf tcg `cg`mlnst… Gvgry kuy chs h `cg`mlnst, dhyig cg whfts tj kgt wntc gvgry mnfa jb wjdgf, jr aj gvgry mnfa jb sgx h`t, "N'vg iggf tcgrg. N'vg ajfg tcht. N sht ht tcg iubbgt thilg, N htg gvgrytcnfk tcgrg, hfa N mfjw N `hf hlwhys kj ih`m bjr sg`jfas." 0

 

Pj, N `hf tgll yju tcht hs h kuy, rglhtnjfscnps, ahtnfk, cjjmnfk up, kgttnfk wjdgf httrh`tga, hll tcht stubb ns chfalga bjr dg. Hfa, nt's fjt sjdgtcnfk N wjrry hijut. Hfa, nt's buffy, hfa tcns nsf't sjdgtcnfk tcht N fg`gsshrnly thlmga hijut nf dy nftrjau`tjry `jursgs. Ig`husg tcns ns hf havhf`ga `jursg, N whft tj mnfa jb kj aggpgr hs tj wcht dy rghlnty ns fjw hfa wcht tcnfks hrg lnmg bjr dg ig`husg N tcnfm nt's kjnfk tj cglp scjw yju tcg why jb wcht `hf ig pjssnilg bjr yju. Hfa, N'd fjt shynfk yju'rg iha wntc wjdgf rnkct fjw= yju dnkct ig krght wntc wjdgf rnkct fjw. ^ju dnkct ig ajnfk prgtty wgll bjr yjursglb, hfa yju dnkct eust whft tj kgt tcht gxtrh gakg sj tcht yju `hf rghlly kgt tcg rgsults tcht yju whft. ^ju whft tcnfks tj ig ghsngr sj tcnfks `hf ig ghsngr hfa gbbjrtlgss= jr dhyig, tcgrg's h typg jb knrl tcht yju eust chvgf't cha su``gss wntc, iut yju rghlly whft tj chvg tcht mnfa jb su``gss wntc tcht knrl, tcht wjdhf tcht yju rghlly whft. Pj, hll tcgsg tcnfks `hf ig thmgf `hrg jb, hfa wg'rg kjnfk tj ig `jvgrnfk gxh`tly wcht yju fgga nf tcns `jursg. Brhfmly, tcns ns prjihily kjnfk tj ig tcg jfly `jursg jf wjdgf tcht yju'll gvgr fgga gvgr hkhnf. N tcnfm tcns'll ig tcg jfg. Iut, N'd fjt hkhnfst yju `cg`mnfk jut jtcgr pgjplg's dhtgrnhl. N tcnfm, h ljt jb tcg tndg, hfa N'd spghmnfk tj yju hs sjdgjfg wcj's kjfg tcrjukc h ljt jb dhtgrnhl dysglb. N'vg `cg`mga jut jtcgr pgjplg's `jursgs. N whs h cukg stuagft jb tcns. N whs h tjthl fgra wntc tcns stubb bjr yghrs. Pj, N tcnfm tcht tcgrg's h ljt tj ig shna bjr `cg`mnfk jut dhtgrnhl tcht's jut tcgrg, hfa hlsj vnsntnfk h vhrngty jb tcnfks, lghrfnfk h vhrngty jb tcnfks. Ig`husg h ljt jb tcg tndg, yju'll bnfa tcht tcgrg's mnfa jb h dhtrnx tj wcht dhmgs gvgrytcnfk wjrm nf lnbg. ^ju'll bnfa tcht tcgrg hrg naghs brjd dultnplg anbbgrgft s`cjjls jb tcjukct, dultnplg anbbgrgft phrts jb lnbg, jr trhags, jr `hrggrs, jr 1

 

cjiings. Hfa, ht jfg pjnft, yju'll sgg tcht, "Jc, whnt, tcgsg hll mnfa jb `jffg`t. Qcns hll mnfa jb dhmg sgfsg." Hfa, yju'll sgg tcg `jffg`tnfk glgdgft tcht tngs gvgrytcnfk tjkgtcgr nf lnbg. Pj, cjpgbully wcgf yju lnstgf tj tcns `jursg, h lnkct iuli wnll kj jbb nf yjur cgha hfa lnbg, nf kgfgrhl, wnll sthrt kgttnfk ghsngr. N mfjw tcht rglhtnjfscnps, hfa httrh`tnfk wjdgf, hfa kgttnfk tcg mnfa jb wjdgf yju whft, hfa kgttnfk tcg mnfa jb sgx yju whft wnll ig h ljt ghsngr bjr yju hbtgr tcns `jursg. Iut, N'd cjpnfk tcht nt lnkcts jbb tcht ink lnkct iuli nf yjur dnfa tcht dhmgs lnbg ghsngr, hfa N tcnfm nt'll ig pjssnilg. Iut, nf tcg gvgft tcht yju lnstgf tj tcns hfa nt's kjja hfa yju lnmg nt, iut tcgf, tcg fgxt `jursg tcht yju lnstgf tj lnkcts jbb tcht cukg lnkct iuli hfa tcns mnfa jb eust sgt tcg sthkg bjr nt, tcht's bnfg tjj. Qcht's krght. N'd chppy bjr yju nb tcht chppgfs. Pj ultndhtgly, N whft yju tj ig su``gssbul. N whft yju tj kgt wcht yju rghlly `hdg cgrg bjr. Qcgrg's h ljt jb dhrmgtnfk jut tcgrg. Qcgrg's h ljt jb prjdnsgs jut tcgrg. Qcgrg's h ljt jb cypg jut tcgrg. Hfa wcnlg N aj sgll prjau`ts, hfa N aj dhmg djfgy jbb tcg prjau`ts, tcg hdjuft jb djfgy tcht N dhmg nf dy lnbg brjd sgllnfk dgf's prjau`ts ns eust h brh`tnjf jb dy nf`jdg. Nt's fjt h ljt jb djfgy. N wjulaf't dnss nt nb nt whs kjfg. N'd cgrg hfa N `rghtg tcns dhtgrnhl ig`husg N whft tj cglp yju ig su``gssbul. N chvg wjrmga wntc hll anbbgrgft mnfas jb dgf nf dy lnbg tj cglp tcgd wntc httrh`tnfk wjdgf hfa kgttnfk tcg mnfa jb rglhtnjfscnp tcgy whft. N'vg wjrmga wntc aj`tjrs, lhwygrs, phstjrs, wrntgrs, dusn`nhfs, nfvgftjrs, gfknfggrs, brjft agsm wjrmgrs, `hscngrs, gvgry mnfa jb `hrggr yju `hf ndhknfg. N wjrmga wntc h kuy brjd gvgry whlm jb lnbg. N wjrmga wntc tcg supgr-rn`c hfa tcg kuy wcj whs sj irjmg cg fggaga tj ijrrjw djfgy bjr tcg khs tj `jdg hfa sgg dg.

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Pj, N'vg wjrmga wntc hll anbbgrgft mnfas jb kuys, hfa tcgy'vg hll cha trgdgfajus su``gss. Hfa, N'd kjnfk tj schrg wntc yju nf tcns `jursg, wcht nt ns tcht knvgs kuys brjd hll whlms jb lnbg su``gss. Ig`husg, N'd surg yju'vg ljjmga jut nftj tcg wjrla hfa yju'vg sggf kuys wcj ajf't rghlly sggd tj chvg hfy jb tcg tcnfks tcht gvgryijay tglls yju wjdgf whft. Cg ajgsf't sggd tj chvg nt hfa ygt, cg's supgr su``gssbul. Hfa, nt eust dhmgs yju phld yjur bjrgcgha lnmg, "[cht ns kjnfk jf cgrg: Cjw ns tcht kuy kgttnfk wjdgf hfa ygt, N'd fjt: N'vg rglhtnvgly kjt dy stubb tjkgtcgr." N rgdgdigr chvnfk tcjsg tcjukcts hll tcg tndg. N whftga tj `chlm nt up tj, "N'd fjt kjja gfjukc ygt," jr, "N ajf't chvg gfjukc djfgy ygt," jr, "N'd fjt kjja gfjukc ljjmnfk," jr hfy jb tcht stubb. Hfa tcgf, N wjula sgg h kuy wcj eust ljjm lnmg cg `rhwlga jut jb h cjlg, hfa ljjm lnmg cg whs hijut tj `jddnt sjdg sjrt jb dnfjr `rndg jr bgljfy, hfa ygt, cg whs ajnfk hdhznfkly wgll wntc wjdgf. Hfa, N whs eust su`mnfk hfa gdihrrhssnfk dysglb, hfa kgttnfk rgeg`tga, hfa bgglnfk cudnlnhtga, hfa bgglnfk lnmg h png`g jb `rhp. Hfa, N whs wjrmnfk chra tj ig kjja ht nt. Hfa, N whs wjfagrnfk, "[cy ns nt sj chra: [cy ajgs nt sggd gbbjrtlgss bjr tcgsg kuys:" Hfa, Ijstjf chs h rhfkg jb nftgllnkgf`g. N whs lnvnfk nf Ijstjf wcgf N whs rghlly kjnfk chra hfa bnkurnfk jut tcns stubb. Ijstjf chs h rhfkg jb nftgllnkgf`g. ^ju'vg kjt sjdg pgjplg wcj hrg rghlly supgr sdhrt. Hfa tcgf, yju'vg kjt sjdg kuys wcj hrg fjt= tcgy'rg eust fjt sdhrt kuys. Hfa ygt, N wjula sgg sjdg jb tcgsg kuys wcj wgrgf't sdhrt, tcgy wgrgf't wgll phna, tcgy wgrgf't kjja ljjmnfk, tcgy wgrgf't pjlnscga nf hfy rghl why, hfy ygt, tcgy wjula aj jutsthfanfk wntc wjdgf. [cht whs tcht: [cht whs kjnfk jf: Pj, N whft tj kgt nftj tcns= hfa N whft tj thlm hijut lghrfnfk, hfa strhtgkngs, hfa iglngbs ig`husg tcns ns rghlly kjnfk tj uflj`m yjur dnfa hfa dhmg yju rghay tj cghr tcns. N'd kjnfk tj ig scjwnfk yju 2

 

tcg dhtrnx wntc wjdgf, sj tj spghm, hfa tcnfks hrg kjnfk tj ig`jdg h ljt ghsngr. Iut, nb yju hrg fjt rghay tj cghr tcg dhtrnx, tcgf tcns ns fjt kjnfk tj kj nf. Nt's kjnfk tj ijuf`g jbb yjur irhnf. N fgga tj jpgf tcg ajjr nf yjur dnfa sj tcht yju `hf lgt tcg stubb nf, hfa lgt nt sprgha tcrjukc yju= lgt nt `chfkg yju, lgt nt knvg yju tcg rgsults tcht yju whft gbbjrtlgssly ig`husg nt's rghlly yjur sui`jfs`njus dnfa tcht's kjnfk tj ig yjur krghtgst hssgt cgrg, yjur krghtgst hlly. Pj, lgt's thlm hijut tcg hf`ngft Yjdhfs. [cht: [cgrg ana tcht `jdg brjd: Lgt's thlm hijut tcg hf`ngft Yjdhfs. Qcg hf`ngft Yjdhfs wgrg jf tjp jb tcg wjrla ht jfg pjnft. N dghf, tcgy wgrg tcg krghtgst `nvnlnzhtnjf, tcgy wgrg tcg djst havhf`ga= tcgy cha tcg igst dnlnthry, hll tcht mnfa jb stubb. Qcgy cha hll tcgnr agvgljpdgfts hfa havhf`gdgfts. Qcgy agvgljpga h rjha systgd wcgrg hll tcg rjhas nf tcg wjrla lga tj Yjdg. Qcgrg's hf gxprgssnjf, "Hll rjhas lgha tj Yjdg." Hfa, tcgy hlsj agvgljpga h pludinfk systgd jb lgha pnpgs lnmg, hs nf lgha. Hfa, igtwggf tcg lgha pnpgs wcn`c h`tuhlly wgrg pjnsjfnfk tcg pjpulhtnjf, tcgy anaf't rghlnzg tcht tcg lgha pnpgs tcht wgrg irnfknfk tcg whtgr tj tcg `ntngs wgrg pjnsjfnfk tcg pjpulhtnjf. Hfa, tcht whs dhmnfk tcg pgjplg sn`m. Nt whs ljwgrnfk tcg nftgllnkgf`g jb tcg pjpulhtnjf, hfa nt whs wghmgfnfk tcgd. Iut hlsj, tcgy cha hll tcgsg rjhas knvnfk tcgd h``gss tj tcg `ntngs. Hfa, wcht chppgfga whs, gvgftuhlly, ihrihrnhfs... N ajf't rgdgdigr tcg `nvnlnzhtnjf tcht irjukct tcgd ajwf... schdg jf dg bjr rgdgdigrnfk dy Lhtnf `lhssgs brjd 9? yghrs hkj, jr fjt rgdgdigrnfk. Iut, tcg ihrihrnhfs jr sjdg ihrihrn` trnig `hdg hfa irjukct ajwf wcht whs jf`g tcg djst pjwgrbul `nvnlnzhtnjf nf tcg wjrla. Hfa, tcg rghsjf bjr nt whs tcgy anaf't rghlnzg tcgnr wghmfgssgs. Qcgy anaf't rghlnzg wcht tcgy cha nf tcgnr systgd tcht tcgy agvgljpga nf tcg ;

 

igst nftgrgst jb havhf`gdgft. Qcgy anaf't rghlnzg wcht whs h`tuhlly pjnsjfnfk tcgd. Cgrg tcgy wgrg, snttnfk jf tjp jb tcg wjrla sj tcgy wgrg ajnfk krght. Qcgy bglt lnmg tcg buturg whs eust kjnfk up, hfa up, hfa up bjr tcgd. Hfa ygt, tcgy ndplgdgftga sjdg tcnfks nf tcgnr lnbg wntc tcg krghtgst jb nftgftnjfs. Hfa ygt, tcht whs tcg vgry tcnfk tcht gfaga up pjnsjfnfk tcgd hfa irnfknfk tcgd ajwf hs h `nvnlnzhtnjf. Pj, N'd knvnfk yju hf hfhljky tcgrg, h dgthpcjr tcht N eust whft yju tj tcnfm hijut. "[cgrg nf yjur lnbg hrg yju ignfk hf`ngft Yjdg: [cgrg ana yju, dhyig, ndplgdgft sjdgtcnfk wntc tcg igst jb nftgftnjfs, hfa yju tcjukct nt whs kjnfk tj ig hf ndprjvgdgft hfa ygt, tcht ns pjnsjfnfk yjur lnbg, nt's pjnsjfnfk yjur su``gss: [cgrg ns tcht chppgfnfk:" Pj, tcht's jfg tcnfk tj tcnfm hijut. Hfjtcgr tcnfk N whft yju tj `jfsnagr= N dgt h kuy, cg's h prjbgssnjfhl pjmgr plhygr. Pj, tcnfm hijut tcns= cg's jfly eji ns tj snt ajwf ht h pjmgr thilg hfa wnf. Hfa, tj hf gxtgft, pjmgr ns h khdg jb `chf`g= iut cg gxplhnfga tj dg, wcgf yju rghlly mfjw nt, nt's hijut ignfk hilg tj aj sndplg dhtc nf yjur cgha, hfa mfjwnfk wcgf tj hpply tcg rnkct strhtgky wcgf. Pj, eust tj phnft h pn`turg bjr yju= N ajf't mfjw cjw tj plhy pjmgr, N dghf, N mfjw tcg vgry, djst ihsn` rulgs, hfa N wjula prjihily kgt dy hss mn`mga iy fjvn`gs nb N gvgr try tj plhy pjmgr. Iut, wcgf cg snts ajwf ht tcg thilg, cg ns hilg tj eust `hldly snt tcgrg hfa dhmg tcg rnkct djvg gvgry tndg gbbjrtlgssly. Cg chs nt sj nfkrhnfga nf cns dnfa tcht cg eust gbbjrtlgssly bljws ht tcg thilg, hfa cns iljja prgssurg ajgsf't gvgf rnsg wcgf h iha chfa chppgfs ig`husg cg mfjws cjw tj chfalg tcht. Nt's fjt h iha chfa tj cnd= nt's eust h chfa tcht rgqunrgs jfg djvg hfa tcgf, wcgf cg kgts h kjja chfa, nt rgqunrgs hfjtcgr djvg.

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Hfa, iy eust `hldly, gbbjrtlgssly hpplynfk tcg strhtgky, cg gfas up wnffnfk. Hfa, cg gfas up wnffnfk h ljt. Nb yju mfgw tcg mnfa jb djfgy cg whs dhmnfk, yju wjula ig sn`m. N dghf, cg's dhmnfk nf`rganilg djfgy hs h prjbgssnjfhl pjmgr plhygr. Pj, cg's h kuy tcht sht ajwf ht tcg thilg nf brjft jb h khdg, hfa nfstgha jb dnfalgssly rgh`tnfk hfa brghmnfk jut jvgr tcnfks tcht h pgrsjf `jula brghm jut jvgr, cg `hldly shna tj cndsglb, "Jmhy, wcht ns tcns sntuhtnjf `hll bjr: [cht's tcg rnkct djvg bjr tcg chfa N'vg iggf aghlt: [cht `hf N hftn`nphtg wnll chppgf: [cht `hf N rgha: [cht `hf N mfjw rnkct mfjw hijut wcgrg N'd ht, hfa cjw scjula N ig rnkct fjw:" Jf`g cg cha tcjsg hfswgrs, cg fj ljfkgr fggaga tj ig wjrrnga, jr brghmnfk jut, jr ruffnfk hrjufa wntc cns phfts jf bnrg. Cg `jula eust `hldly snt tcgrg. Cg `jula gvgf gfejy cndsglb hs ljfk hs cg anaf't kgt gdjtnjfhl hfa dhmg gdjtnjfhlly nrrhtnjfhl ag`nsnjfs. Hfjtcgr `ljsg gxhdplg tj tcns ns tcg stj`m dhrmgt. N mfjw kuys wcj chvg dhag tjfs jb djfgy nf tcg stj`m dhrmgt. Hfa tcgsg kuys, hfa N'vg cha `jfvgrshtnjfs wntc tcgsg kuys hijut tcg stj`m dhrmgt j``hsnjfhlly, hfa N ajf't mfjw stj`ms. Nt's fjt dy hrgh. Iut, tcgy'll shy tj dg wcgf stj`ms hrg kjnfk ajwf jr wcgf tcg stj`m dhrmgt ns `rhscnfk, tcgy'll shy tj dg tcht tcgy'rg aglnkctga. Qcgy'rg lnmg h mna nf h `hfay stjrg. Qcgy'rg sj gx`ntga ig`husg tj tcgd, nt dghfs tcns ns tcg tndg tj iuy. Qcns ns tcg tndg tj kgt h ljt djrg stj`m ig`husg tcgy mfjw, nfgvnthily, nt's kjnfk tj kj up. Qcgy ajf't wjrry hfa brghm jut wcgf nt ljjms lnmg tcg stj`ms hrg kjnfk ajwf ig`husg tcgy sgg hf jppjrtufnty tcgrg. [cgrghs, tcg fgws dganh ns kjnfk tj try hfa cypg pgjplg up hfa kgt tcgd tj rgh`t, hfa brghm jut, hfa dhmg hf nrrhtnjfhl ag`nsnjf. Qcgy mfjw tcg stj`m dhrmgt. Qcgy mfjw tcht khdg hfa sj, tcgy  eust `hldly plhy tcg khdg.

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Fj dhttgr wcht chppgfs, tcgy ajf't brghm jut, tcgy eust `hldly plhy tcg khdg, hfa rgspjfa, hfa rgh`t hs fggaga. Qcgy'rg fjt dhmnfk gdjtnjfhl rgh`tnjfs. Qcgy mfjw tcg strhtgky. Qcgy mfjw wcht's `hllga bjr sj tcgy `hf ig `hld tcg wcjlg tndg. Qcgy `hf rglhx. Qcgy `hf gvgf chvg buf wntc nt. Pgg tcg tcgdg cgrg: Pj, tcht's eust h `juplg jb gxhdplgs, hfa tcjsg hrg pjwgrbul dgthpcjrs tcht N whft yju tj lgt nftj yjur dnfa. Iut djrg tchf hfytcnfk glsg, N whft yju tj rgdgdigr h tndg tcht yju wgrg h mna. N rgdgdigr ignfk h mna. N dghf, N whs rghlly kjja ht gftgrthnfnfk dysglb. N whs mnfa jb h wgnra, wnla, HAA cypgrh`tnvg mna. N dhag dy tgh`cgrs `rhzy. N dhag dy phrgfts `rhzy. Hfa, N whsf't h dghf mna. N whsf't h iha mna, iut N whs h chfabul ig`husg N cha sj du`c gfgrky. Hfa, ig`husg N wjula chvg sj du`c buf ajnfk tcnfks tcht wgrg eust wnla hfa jut jb `jftrjl, hfa ndph`tga tcg pgjplg hrjufa dg. Hfa, N whsf't hwhrg jb nt. [gll, N whsf't wnlaly hwhrg jb nt iut, tj hf gxtgft, N whs hwhrg jb nt. N mnfa jb gfejyga tcg rgh`tnjfs tcht N kjt jut jb pgjplg, wcgf pgjplg wjula blnp jut. N anaf't gfejy kgttnfk ygllga ht= tcht whs fgvgr buf. Iut hfywhy, nt's fgntcgr cgrg fjr tcgrg. N whft yju tj rgdgdigr wcht nt whs lnmg tj ig h mna hfa eust chvg buf wntc tcnfks wcgrg yju anaf't bggl lnmg, "Jc, dhf, nb N eust kgt tcns tcnfk, tcgf N'll ig chppy," jr, "N kjt tj kgt sjdgwcgrg," jr, "N'd whntnfk bjr sjdgtcnfk tj chppgf." Hs h mna, yju wgrg eust gx`ntga tj ig hlnvg. Aj yju rgdgdigr wcht nt whs lnmg tj ig ijrga hs h mna hfa eust shy, "N'd kjnfk tj aj tcns tcnfk," jr, "N'd kjnfk tj plhy wntc ilj`ms," jr, "N'd kjnfk tj plhy wntc Lgkjs, N'd kjnfk tj plhy wntc lnttlg hrdy dgf:" Ig`husg N ajf't whft tj ig ijrga= N whft tj aj sjdgtcnfk tcht's buf, hfa j``upngs dy dnfa, hfa kgts dg, gfkhkgs dg. Hfa, tcht mnfa jb httntuag hs h mna, tj eust sggm jut sjdgtcnfk tcht's buf hfa phrtn`nphtg nf sjdgtcnfk ig`husg nt's buf, fjt ig`husg 8?

 

yju'rg cjlanfk yjur irghtc hfa whntnfk bjr sjdgtcnfk tj chppgf. Qcht's h pjwgrbul gfgrky. Hfa, tcht's hf gfgrky tcht N whft yju tj rg`lhnd fjw. N whft yju tj rgdgdigr wcht nt whs lnmg hs h mna tj lghrf hijut jr ans`jvgr sjdgtcnfk tcht yju'vg fgvgr sggf igbjrg= sjdgtcnfk tcht  eust ns `jdplgtgly brgsc hfa fgw tj yju hs h mna hfa yju'rg eust lghrfnfk nt. ^ju anaf't chvg hfy prg-`jf`gnvga fjtnjfs= yju anaf't chvg hfy pjsntnjf yju cha tj agbgfa hfa sthfa bjr. ^ju wgrg eust lghrfnfk hijut tcg wjrla, hfa gxpgrngf`nfk tcg wjrla, hfa jisgrvnfk nt, hfa gfejynfk tcht prj`gss. Hfa, tcht `jula ig rghlly buf. ^ju `hf eust ig jpgf hfa lgt nt nf. ^ju `hf scut ajwf tcht phrt jb yjur dnfa, tcht fjt buf hault phrt jb yjur dnfa tcht sthfas ih`m hfa `rntn`nzgs, "[gll, N ajf't mfjw hijut tcns, dhyig tcns wjf't wjrm. Jc, iut wcht nb N s`rgw tcns up: Jc, iut wcht hijut tcns: Jc, iut nt chs sj du`c..." Qcht's fjt buf. Nt's fjt h buf plh`g tj `jdg brjd hfa nt's fjt kjnfk tj cglp yju. Nt's kjnfk tj ilj`m gvgrytcnfk tcht `jdgs nf. Nt's kjnfk tj put gvgrytcnfk tcht's `jdnfk nf tcrjukc h s`rggf. Lgt's shy tcht N'vg kjt h rghlly krght wnfg. Jmhy, lgt's shy tcht N'd hf gxpgrt ht dhmnfk wnfg hfa yju shy, "N whft tj try yjur wnfg." Hfa, N shy, "Jmhy, N'll pjur yju h klhss." Hfa, yju cjla jut yjur klhss hfa yjur klhss ns bnllga wntc jrhfkg eun`g. Dhyig, yju lnmg jrhfkg eun`g= dhyig yju ljvg arnfmnfk jrhfkg eun`g. Iut nb N pjur dy wnfg nf tcht klhss, fjt jfly hrg yju kjnfk tj, fjt jfly ns nt kjnfk tj fjt thstg vgry kjja, yju'rg fjt kjnfk tj kgt h sgfsg jb wcht nt ns tcht dy wnfg rghlly thstgs lnmg. Nt's kjnfk tj ig h dnxturg. Nt's kjnfk tj ig h anlutnjf. Nt's kjnfk tj ig thnftga iy tcg jrhfkg eun`g. N'd fjt shynfk tcht jrhfkg eun`g ns iha, iut N'd shynfk tcht nb yju whft tj thstg tcg wnfg, tcgf yju fgga tj knvg dg hf gdpty klhss tcht N `hf pjur tcg wnfg nf hfa yju `hf try nt. Nb yju lnmg tcg wnfg, 88

 

yju `hf mggp nt bjrgvgr. Nb yju ajf't lnmg tcg wnfg, yju `hf audp nt jut. Qcns ns fjt sjdgtcnfk tcht yju chvg tj `jddnt tj. ^ju'rg kjnfk tj thstg nt, yju'rg kjnfk tj gxpgrngf`g nt, yju'rg kjnfk tj try nt jf, yju'rg kjnfk tj lgt nt ruf tcrjukc yjur systgd, yju'rg kjnfk tj sgg cjw nt bggls, gt`., gt`. Iut ht tcg gfa jb nt, tcns ns fjt h `jftrh`t. ^ju'rg kjnfk tj eust try tcns hfa N tcnfm yju'rg kjnfk tj bnfa tcht nt's fjt jfly trgdgfajusly djrg buf iut djst ndpjrthftly, nt's trgdgfajusly djrg gbbg`tnvg ht kgttnfk yju tcg rgsults tcht yju whft. Pj, N'vg shna dy png`g. N rghlly whft tj kgt nftj tcg dhtgrnhl ig`husg tcg stubb N'd kjnfk tj ig schrnfk wntc yju ns eust hwgsjdg. Nt's kjnfk tj `chfkg gvgrytcnfk bjr yju fj dhttgr nb yju'rg hf havhf`ga kuy hfa yju'rg rghlly kjja wntc wjdgf, hfa yju eust whft tj kgt igttgr rgsults tchf yju'rg kgttnfk fjw, tj kgt wcht yju rghlly whft, iut chvgf't iggf hilg tj kgt ygt, tj kgt tcht mgy tcht tngs nt hll tjkgtcgr. Jr, nb yju'rg irhfa fgw hfa yju chvgf't cha su``gss wntc wjdgf, hfa dhyig yju'rg gvgf fgrvjus jr wjrrnga, jr thlmnfk tj wjdgf ns h vgry uf`jdbjrthilg tcnfk, N'd kjnfk tj ig hilg tj cglp yju. Qcns ns kjnfk tj ig hilg tj tng h ljt jb tcnfks hfa eust tng h ljt jb tcnfks tjkgtcgr hfa dhmg nt h ljt ghsngr bjr yju tj kgt tcg mnfa jb su``gss yju rghlly whft. N'd rghlly gx`ntga tj kgt sthrtga. Lgt's kj. N whft tj mn`m tcns jbb iy thlmnfk hijut h trutc hijut wjdgf tcht djst dgf wnll fgvgr ufagrsthfa, hfa cjw mfjwnfk tcns, ufagrsthfanfk tcns, ns kjnfk tj dhmg nt sj tcht yju fgvgr chvg tj bggl `jfbusga jr uf`grthnf wntc h wjdhf gvgr hkhnf. N whft yju tj rghlly lnstgf up, ig`husg tcns ns tcg ink nagh, hfa wg'rg kjnfk tj ig iunlanfk jf tcns, hfa tcns ns kjnfk tj `jffg`t h ljt jb tcnfks. Dhyig yju'rg jf tcg gakg jb yjur sght rnkct fjw. N whft tj tgll yju rnkct fjw, N `jfvgy tcnfks nf tcg sndplgst tgrds pjssnilg. Qcht ajgs 89

 

fjt dghf tcht nt's sndplg ig`husg N ajf't chvg h aggp ufagrsthfanfk jb nt. Nt ajgsf't dghf tcht nt's sndplg ig`husg nt's stupna jr fjt wgll tcjukct jut, jr nt ajgsf't wjrm vgry wgll, jr nt's vhkug. Nt's sndplg ig`husg N spgft yghrs jb-N dghf jvgr h ag`hag-eust rutclgssly stuaynfk tcns hfa gxpgrndgftnfk hfa ajnfk hll mnfas jb stubb nf dy jwf lnbg hfa wntc dy stuagfts hfa stubb lnmg tcht, uftnl N anstnllga nt ajwf hfa shw tcg dhtrnx, shw gvgrytcnfk tcht tnga nt tjkgtcgr. Pj jfg jb tcg tcnfks yju'vg kjt jut rghlnzg wcgf yju lnstgf tj tcns `jursg ns tcht yju'rg prjihily kjnfk tj chvg tj lnstgf tj tcns `jursg sgvgrhl tndgs. N dghf jvgr hfa jvgr hkhnf. _grsjfhlly, wcgf N'd `cg`mnfk jut h fgw ijjm jr h fgw `jursg tcht's rghlly cglpnfk dg havhf`g dy smnll sgt nf hf hrgh, N usuhlly lnstgf tj nt ht lghst snx jr sgvgf tndgs, nb nt's h kjja `jursg. Pj N wjula gf`jurhkg yju tj chvg tcht dnfasgt tcht yju'rg kjnfk tj lnstgf tj tcns sgvgrhl tndgs. Hfa N dghf rghlly lnstgf tj hll jb nt hll tcg why tcrjukc ig`husg N'd kjnfk tj ig stn`mnfk tcnfks tcrjukcjut tcg `jursg, tcrjukcjut gvgry png`g jb tcg `jursg, N'd kjnfk tj ig stn`mnfk nf pjwgrbul hfa ndpjrthft tcnfks tj rghlnzg tcht tng nt tjkgtcgr. Hfa nb yju'rg  eudpnfk hrjufa jr nb yju'rg smnppnfk phrts jb nt, yju'rg eust fjt kjnfk tj kgt hll jb tcht. ^ju'rg fjt kjnfk tj kgt tcg tcnfk tcht tngs nt hll tjkgtcgr. Hfjtcgr tcnfk ns, wcht N bjufa dysglb pgrsjfhlly, N wjula shy tcht N'd h prgtty kjja stuagft, iut gvgf stnll, N fgga tj lnstgf tj nt snx jr sgvgf tndgs. Hfa tcgrg's tndgs tcht N'll cghr tcnfks jf tcg snxtc jr sgvgftc tndg tcht N'd lnstgfnfk tj nt, tcht N eust anaf't cghr tcg bnrst bgw tndgs. N eust anaf't cghr nt. Hfa tcgf nt's lnmg h ijdi kjnfk jbb nf dy cgha wcgf N'd, lnmg, "Jc, tcht's nt. Qcht dhmgs sj du`c sgfsg. Nt tngs hltjkgtcgr, nt hll dhmgs sgfsg." Pj chvg tcg httntuag tcht yju'rg kjnfk tj lnstgf sgvgrhl tndgs, hfa lnstgf `ljsgly ig`husg N aglnvgr tcnfks vgry sndply hfa N aj try tj 80

 

`hll httgftnjf tj tcg mgy tcnfks tcht hrg kjnfk tj rghlly djvg djufthnfs bjr yju. Iut h ljt jb tcg stubb tcht N'd kjnfk tj shy ns supgr sndplg wcgf nt `jdgs jut jb dy djutc, hfa yju chvg tj tcnfm hijut nt. ^ju chvg tj thmg nt nf hfa ndplgdgft nt nf yjur lnbg. Nt's kjnfk tj chppgf hutjdhtn`hlly hs ljfk hs yju'rg lnstgfnfk, hfa hs ljfk hs yju cghr wcht N'd shynfk tcg why tcht N shy nt, hfa ajf't try hfa dnx nt wntc stubb. Pj eust mggp tcht nf dnfa. N wjula gf`jurhkg yju tj thmg fjtgs. N wjula gf`jurhkg yju tj lnstgf sgvgrhl tndgs. N wjula gf`jurhkg yju tj rgblg`t jf nt, gvgf  ejurfhl hbtgr yju'vg lnstgfga tj tcg `jursg. Hfa ejurfhl jf yjur tcjukcts sj tcht nt rghlly wnrgs nt nftj yjur irhnf. Qcgsg hrg hll kjja tcnfks tj aj. Qcgsg hrg tcnfks tcht N aj. Hfa jfg jb tcg tcnfks tj mggp nf dnfa ns wcgf yju sgg sjdgjfg wcj chs su``gss nf tcg rghl wjrla, tcg mnfa jb su``gss tcht yju whft, djaglnfk tcgd ns h kjja nagh. Hfa N'd fjt eust shynfk djagl dg, N'd hlsj shynfk djagl tcg pgjplg hrjufa yju tcht yju sgg, tcht yju mfjw hrg rghlly kgttnfk tcg mnfa jb rgsults tcht yju whft. Hfa tcns `jursg ns kjnfk tj scjw yju cjw tj sgg wcht tcgy'rg rghlly ajnfk hfa wcht's rghlly wjrmnfk bjr tcgd sj tcht yju'rg hilg tj jisgrvg tcg rnkct tcnfks= tcg tcnfks tcht hrg rghlly kjnfk tj dhmg tcg anbbgrgf`g. Hll rnkct, sj lgt's kgt nftj nt. N'vg knvgf yju gfjukc jb h `lnbbchfkgr. Lgt's thlm hijut tcg ink nagh hfa wcht rghlly ns kjnfk tj dhmg wjdgf httrh`tga tj yju. Cgrg's tcg ink nagh= wjdgf whft tj ig hrjufa h dhf wcj chs djej. Fjw djej's h tgrd tcht N usg. N anaf't nfvgft tcg tgrd ntsglb, iut N usg tcg tgrd gx`lusnvgly. N ajf't mfjw hfyijay glsg tcht's usnfk tcg tgrd djej hs h tg`cfn`hl tgrd tj ags`rnig wcht nt ns tcht dhmgs wjdgf httrh`tga tj yju, iut N'd kjnfk tj agvgljp gxh`tly wcht N dghf iy djej tcrjukcjut tcns `jursg hfa jtcgr `jursgs tcht N chvg. 81

 

Pj lgt dg trhfslhtg tcht bjr yju. [jdgf whft tj ig hrjufa h dhf tcht ns chppy hfa `jdbjrthilg nf lnbg. Fjw shy nt hkhnf, wjdgf whft tj ig hrjufa h dhf tcht ns chppy hfa `jdbjrthilg nf lnbg. Nt's fjt hijut ignfk ndprgssnvg tj wjdgf jr ignfk h typg jb kuy. Nt's hijut thmnfk jf tcg chint jb fgvgr bjlljwnfk h lnfg jb tcnfmnfk tcht bggls fgkhtnvg tj yju, wcgtcgr tcht's hfkgr, shafgss, agprgssnjf, bghr, wjrry, hfxnjusfgss, chtg, eghljusy, cjstnlnty, trynfk tj `ut sjdgijay ajwf. Nt's hijut fjt thmnfk jf tcg chint jb bjlljwnfk tcjsg tcnfks, hfa nfstgha, ignfk nf tcg chint jb jfly pursunfk hfa jfly phrtn`nphtnfk nf lnfgs jb tcjukct tcht bggl kjja tj yju. ^ju'vg kjt tcjukcts kjnfk jf nf yjur cgha hll ahy. N dghf, jfg jb tcg tcnfks tcht mnfa jb igtrhys us hs h sj`ngty ns, wg'rg hlwhys tcnfmnfk, hfa sj wg ajf't dhmg h ink aghl jut jb tcjukcts. Lnmg, N'd surg tcht tcrjukcjut yjur ahy yju sgg trggs hll tcg tndg hfa yju ajf't tcnfm hfytcnfk jb trggs. Iut ndhknfg nb tcgrg whs jfly jfg trgg jf ghrtc. Gvgrytcnfk glsg whs eust plhfts iut tcgrg whs jfg trgg jf ghrtc. _gjplg wjula ig blynfk nf brjd hll jvgr tcg wjrla tj sgg tcg jfg trgg. Qcgy wjula shy nt whs dnrh`uljus hfa spnrntuhl, hfa pgjplg wjula tju`c tcg trgg, hfa pgjplg wjula kgt lnttlg dgahllnjfs jb tcg trgg tj chfk brjd tcgnr `hr ig`husg tcg trgg wjula ig rg`jkfnzga hs sjdgtcnfk rhrg hfa spg`nhl hfa pjwgrbul hfa hdhznfk. Iut tcg bh`t ns tcg trggs tcht wg chvg fjw hrg hll hdhznfk hfa pjwgrbul hfa nftgrgstnfk hfa nf`rganilg= nt's eust ig`husg tcgrg's sj dhfy jb tcgd, wjula dhmg tcg dnsthmg jb shynfk, jc, tcgy'rg `jddjf, sj tcgy'rg fj ink aghl. [gll, wg dhmg tcht shdg dnsthmg wntc tcjukcts. Qcjukcts hrg h`tuhlly nf`rganily pjwgrbul, hfa nf`rganily nftgrgstnfk, hfa tcgy hrg dnrh`uljus. Qcjukcts hrg vgry ndpjrthft, iut ig`husg wg chvg sj dhfy jb tcgd, wg ajf't h`tuhlly knvg tcgd tcg rgspg`t tcht tcgy agsgrvg. [g ajf't knvg tcjukcts tcg rg`jkfntnjf tcht tcgy agsgrvg. 87

 

Iut tcg bh`t jb tcg dhttgr ns jfg jb tcg tcnfks tcht kuys wcj hrg rghlly kjja wntc wjdgf hrg ajnfk ns tcgy jfly pursug lnfgs jb tcjukct tcht bggl kjja tj tcgd, jmhy: Pj tcns ns jfg jb tcg rghsjfs wcy yju `jula chvg tcg audigst kuy jr tcg sdhrtgst kuy nf tcg wjrla-ajgsf't dhttgr, uklngst kuy jr prgttngst kuy. _rgttngst kuy, tcgsg ahys wg aj chvg prgtty kuys. Qcht's tcg grh wg lnvg nf, tcg dgtrjsgxuhl grh. Pj N ajf't mfjw, N kugss tcht hpplngs, iut tcg djst kjja-ljjmnfk dgf, jr tcg uklngst dgf, tcg sj-`hllga uklngst dgf. Hll tcgsg kuys `hf aj tcht ig`husg nt chs fjtcnfk tj aj wntc tcgnr jutgr hppghrhf`g jr jutgr `chrh`tgrnstn`s. Nt chs tj aj wntc cjw tcgy gfkhkg wntc tcgnr tcnfmnfk. Qcnfm jb ignfk nf h purgly kjja djja hs cjjmnfk yjur httrh`tnvgfgss tj h supgr-pjwgrga dhkfgt, jmhy: Qcnfm jb ignfk nf h purgly kjja djja hs cjjmnfk yjur httrh`tnvgfgss tj h supgrpjwgrga dhkfgt. Pgg, hll nt thmgs tj ig nf h kjja djja, hfa sthy nf h kjja djja hs tcg fjrd ns tcht yju jfly pursug lnfgs jb tcjukct tcht bggl kjja tj yju. Hfa wg'rg kjnfk tj kgt aggpgr nftj tcht= tcns ns eust plhftnfk tcg sgga bjr fjw. [cgf yju rghlnzg yjur jwf gfejydgft jb lnbg hfa purgly kjja djja ns tcg cghrt jb trug httrh`tnvgfgss tj wjdgf, yju'll arjp h ljt jb fjfsgfsg. ^ju'll arjp h ljt jb pjnsjf. ^ju'll kgt rna jb h ljt jb tcg lgha pnpgs tcht hrg pjnsjfnfk Yjdg, sj tj spghm. ^ju'll rghlnzg tcht dhtgrnhl stubb, lnmg yjur `hr, jr yjur djfgy, jr tcnfks lnmg tcht, tcht nsf't tcg stubb tcht httrh`ts wjdgf. ^ju'll rghlnzg tcht dus`lgs hrgf't wcht httrh`ts wjdgf. ^ju'll rghlnzg tcht hkg, jr chvnfk h pgrbg`t hppghrhf`g, nsf't wcht httrh`ts wjdgf. Qchfm kja. ^ju'll rghlnzg tcht yjur ndhkg, tcht kuy yju ljjm lnmg jf tcg surbh`g= tcg `hr, tcg agkrgg, tcg eji, nsf't wcht httrh`ts wjdgf. Nt hll `jdgs ajwf tj ignfk nf h purgly kjja djja tcht nsf't lh`ga wntc pjnsjfjus, fgkhtnvg gdjtnjfs. Hfa igyjfa tcht, nt ajgsf't dhttgr wcj yju hrg jr wcht typg jb kuy yju hrg, wjdgf wnll ig 82

 

rgpgllga iy yju nb yju hlljw yjursglb tj phrtn`nphtg nf fgkhtnvg lnfgs jb tcnfmnfk, tcus `rghtnfk fgkhtnvg gdjtnjfs, tcus runfnfk yjur djja, tcus runfnfk yjur djej-tcg httrh`tnvg, nfvnsnilg bjr`g tcht fhturhlly httrh`ts wjdgf tj yju wntcjut yju ajnfk hfytcnfk. Qcns ns wcy h kuy `hf chvg tcg pgr`gptnjf tcht cg sjdgcjw ljst cns djej gvgf tcjukc cg's djrg su``gssbul nf tcg jutsnag wjrla tchf cg gvgr whs. Lnmg, dhyig cg kgts h prjdjtnjf, jr cg krhauhtgs brjd s`cjjl, jr cg's dhmnfk h tjf djrg djfgy tchf cg usga tj kgt, jr cg kjt h irhfa-fgw `hr, jr cg's kjt h ljt djrg dus`lg tchf cg usga tj chvg, jr chs h krght ijay fjw, jr wchtgvgr chppgfs tj ig. Qcns ns cjw, sjdgtndgs yju `hf chvg tcns kuy wcj, cg's kjt djrg jb wcht cg tcnfms wjula httrh`t wjdgf, hfa ygt cg's ajnfk gvgf wjrsg. Nt chs tj aj wntc cjw cg's gfkhknfk wntc lnbg. Nt chs tj aj wntc cns djja ignfk pjnsjfga iy tcg fgkhtnvnty. Qcns ns hlsj wcy sjdg kuys wcj hrg sggdnfkly vgry ufsu``gssbul hfa chvg fjtcnfk nf tcg jutsnag wjrla, `hf ig nf`rganily su``gssbul hfa httrh`tnvg tj wjdgf. Nt's hll hijut yjur djej, hfa tcg cghrt jb djej ns yjur purgly kjja djja, wcgrg yju jfly gfkhkg nf lnbg hfa nf yjur jwf tcnfmnfk, nf h why tcht bggls purgly kjja tj yju nf tcht djdgft. Pj N'll shy sjdgtcnfk hijut tcns rghl qun`m= tcg jtcgr ahy N cha h bgw tcnfks tcgy'a kjnfk kgt wrjfk. Qcgyjut. eustIut wgrg kjnfk wrjfk,N hfa mfgw gvgftuhlly wjrmga nf tcht djdgft whs Nbgglnfk tcns bgglnfk jb, "Qcns ns su`c h phnf nf tcg hss, N `hf't iglngvg tcns ns chppgfnfk, tcns ns sj stupna. [cgf ns tcns kjnfk tj ig thmgf `hrg jb: [cgf ns tcns kjnfk tj ig rgsjlvga:" Hfa jf tcg nfsnag, N `jula bggl dy ijay tnkctgfnfk up. N `jula bggl, lnmg, h chfa krnppnfk dy cghrt, hfa yju mfjw, bggl dy irghtcnfk spgganfk up. Nt bglt lnmg jf h lgvgl, nt bglt lnmg N whs cjlanfk dy irghtc, whntnfk bjr tcnfks tj ig wjrmga jut.

8;

 

[gll, h ljt jb kuys aj tcns hll tcg tndg= tcgy hrg subbj`htnfk tcgdsglvgs `jfsthftly, tcgy hrg whntnfk bjr sjdgtcnfk tj chppgf igbjrg tcgy `hf ig chppy. Qcht's cjw tcgy kj tcrjukc lnbg. [gll, N'vg kjt h kgt cgrg, hfa tcns chs tj chppgf, hfa tcns ns fjt wjrmnfk jut, hfa tcns nsf't rgsjlvga hfa tcns chs tj ig . . . jb `jursg N'd strgssga, N dghf tcns hfa tcns hfa tcns hfa tcns. Hfa tcgy'rg  eust spgganfk tcgdsglvgs= tcgy'rg arnvnfk tcg `hr nftj tcg whll, ihsn`hlly. Hfa yju mfjw, tcgy tcnfm tcgy'rg ajnfk tcnfks nf sgrvn`g jb h igttgr lnbg, h igttgr buturg, igttgr rgsults, iut rghlly, tcgy'rg  eust iunlanfk rjhas tcht hrg kjnfk tj lgha tcg ihrihrnhfs ihrihr nhfs tj Yjdg. Chvnfk djej, tcht `jrg httrh`tnvgfgss tcht rghlly httrh`ts wjdgf  eust hutjdhtn`hlly-tcg typg jb kuy tcht whlms nf tcg rjjd hfa wjdgf lnkct up hfa tcgy djvg tjwhras yju. Hfa yju ajf't chvg tj ig tcg ink-tndg, buf, jifjxnjus phrty kuy, fjt tj shy tcht ignfk h phrty kuy's jifjxnjus. Iut yju ajf't chvg tj ig tcht ink, kjjatndgs kuy= yju `jula ig tcht qungt kuy wcj's eust snlgft, iut wjdgf eust bggl tcht sjdgtcnfk wcgf yju whlm nf tcg rjjd. Qcgy bggl tcht prgsgf`g. ^ju chvg h vgry strjfk gfgrky. Qcht ns kgfgrhtga iy yjur djja. Nt's kgfgrhtga cjw yju gfkhkg wntc tcg djdgft. Jfg jb tcg ink rghlnzhtnjfs tcht N cha whs, chvnfk rghl djej tcht lhsts, ig`jdgs phrt jb yju, chvnfk yjur `jrg httrh`tnvgfgss eust lnkcts tcht wjdgf up hutjdhtn`hlly= tcht mnfa jb djejhfa dghfs tcht yju stnll chvg buf gfkhknfk wntc tcg wjrla gvgf wcgf tcg wjrla's bhllnfk hphrt rnkct nf brjft jb yju tcht yju. Qcht yju gfkhkg wntc tcg wjrla jf tcg nfsnag, fjt jf tcg jutsnag. ^ju'rg fjt kgttnfk hbbg`tga iy tcgsg tcnfks jf tcg jutsnag. [cht yju'rg ajnfk ns, tcnfks hrg chppgfnfk, hfa nt's mnfa jb lnmg yju'rg wht`cnfk h djvng, iut yju'rg gfejynfk gfkhknfk wntc tcg plhy. ^ju'rg eust gfejynfk yjursglb fj dhttgr wcht's chppgfnfk jf tcg jutsnag, hfa tcht nt ajgsf't dghf hfytcnfk hijut yju, hfa tcht tcg chppnfgss nsf't agtgrdnfga iy kgttnfk sjdgtcnfk jr kgttnfk 83

 

sjdgwcgrg. Qcg chppnfgss ns cjw yju gfkhkg wntc tcg prgsgft djdgft nf brjft jb yju, tcht yju'rg prgsgft. N'll schrg hfjtcgr tcnfk hijut tcns, hfa N'd shynfk tcgsg gxhdplgs tj mnfa jb wnrg nf wcht tcg rghlnty ns lnmg, ig`husg wcgf N spghm `jf`gptuhlly, tcht's krght hfa N'll anrg`t, N'll knvg yju mnfa jb, lnmg, h snkfpjst tj wcgrg nt ns. Iut nb N knvg yju gxhdplgs jb mnfa wcht dy lnbg ns lnmg hfa mnfa jb cjw nt bggls, tcht wnrgs nftj yjur irhnf jf h `jdplgtgly lgvgl. Nt mnfa jb lgt yjur irhnf mfjw, jc, jmhy, nt's jmhy tj ig tcns why. Lnbg wnll ig jmhy nb N gfkhkg wntc lnbg nf tcns why. Pj gvgry djrfnfk N lnmg tj whlm fgxt ajjr hfa kgt `jbbgg. Qcgrg's h `jbbgg scjp fgxt tj dy iunlanfk. Hfa wcgf N kj ajwfsthnrs, N whlm ajwf tj tcg chll, kgt nf tcg glgvhtjr, thmg tcg glgvhtjr ajwf tj tcg ljiiy, whlm iy tcg sg`urnty agsm, whlm ajwf tcg ilj`m, ljjm ht tcnfks, kj tj tcg `jbbgg scjp. Qcg wcjlg tndg N'd eust tcnfmnfk tj dysglb, ndhknfnfk tcht N'd sggnfk hll jb tcns bjr tcg bnrst tndg. Lnmg, N'd sggnfk bjr tcg bnrst tndg. N'd cghrnfk sjufa bjr tcg bnrst tndg, hs nb N'vg fgvgr cghra nt igbjrg. N'd bgglnfk dy ijay, bgglnfk wcht nt's lnmg tj thmg h aggp irghtc, bjr tcg bnrst tndg. N'd mnfa jb gfkhknfk wntc gvgrytcnfk, lnmg nt's tcg bnrst tndg N'vg gvgr gxpgrngf`ga nt. Hfa N'd tcnfmnfk nf dy dnfa, "Qcns ns hll eust h arghd." Hfa N'd h vgry krjufaga pgrsjf= N'd fjt, lnmg, sjdg `rhzy fgw hkg typg wcj chs, lnmg, wh`my naghs hfa tcnfms tcht lnbg ns h arghd hfa fjtcnfk's rghl hfa hll tcns mnfa jb stubb. ^ju mfjw, N'd thlmnfk hijut mnfa jb, lnmg, wcht nt bggls lnmg tj gfkhkg wntc lnbg tcg why tcht N gfkhkg wntc nt, tcg why nt chs djej ruffnfk tcrjukc nt gvgry djdgft.

8>

 

[cht N'd tcnfmnfk tj dysglb ns eust, tcns ns hll eust h arghd= N'd eust chvnfk buf plhynfk nf tcg arghd. Hfa nb N'd fjt chvnfk buf nf tcns gxh`t djdgft, tcns ns dy arghd, N `hf eust scnbt nt= N ajf't chvg tj phrtn`nphtg ajwf h lnfg tcht ajgsf't bggl kjja. [g'rg kjnfk tj thlm hijut tcht h lnttlg int djrg. Iut yju mfjw, jfg jb tcg tcnfks tcht N tcnfm hijut nf dy lnbg ns eust, wcgf N'd ht dy igst, dy djst rglhxga, dy djej's bljwnfk tcg djst, hfa wjdgf hrg eust phynfk httgftnjf tj dg, hfa whftnfk tj thlm tj dg, hfa hpprjh`cnfk dg, hfa whftga tj cjjm up wntc dg, hfa hll tcns mnfa jb stubb, nt's wcgf N'd chvnfk tcht httntuag jb, hc, tcns ns hll eust h arghd, N'd eust chvnfk buf plhynfk nf tcg arghd. Pj N mfjw tcht sjufas mnfa jb wgnra hfa dhyig gvgf h lnttlg tcht dnfa- igfanfk, iut tcht's cjw N gfkhkg wntc dy rghlnty rnkct fjw. Nt's hll hijut yjur djej. Hfa tcg cghrt jb djej ns yjur purgly kjja djja, wcgrg yju jfly gfkhkg nf lnbg hfa nf yjur jwf tcnfmnfk, nf h why tcht bggls purgly kjja tj yju nf tcht djdgft. Pj lgt's thlm hijut tcg krggf lnkct snkfhls tcht wjdgf hrg ljjmnfk bjr nf h dhf tcht tcgy'rg tcnfmnfk jb ahtnfk, tcht trnkkgrs tcht mnfa jb aggp httrh`tnjf nf cgr ijay, hfa dhmgs cgr ghkgr tj sthrt h rglhtnjfscnp wntc yju. Pj brjd tcns pjnft jb vngw, yju'rg kjnfk tj stjp `chsnfk wjdgf nf lnbg `nr`udsthf`gs, lnmg dhmnfk sjdgtcnfk chppgf= yju'rg kjnfk tj stjp `chsnfk hll jb tcht wntc tcg aglusnjf tcht tcjsg tcnfks hrg kjnfk tj dhmg yju chppy. Hfa nfstgha, tcnfm hfa h`t nf h why tcht bggls kjja hfa chppy rnkct fjw, rnkct nf tcns djdgft. Qcht yju `hf eust prgtgfa tcht tcns ns tcg bnrst tndg yju'vg gvgr sggf hfytcnfk nf brjft jb yju. Ndhknfg nb yju'rg eust gxpgrngf`nfk snkct bjr tcg bnrst tndg ig`husg nt's hll brgsc hfa fgw. Ndhknfg nb yju'rg cghrnfk sjufa, lnmg, wcht ns tcht: Qcgrg's h snlgf`g hfa tcgf tcgrg's sjufa. Lnmg, wcht ns tcht: Ndhknfg tcht= kgt nf tcht dnfa sthtg ig`husg tcns ns cjw yju uflj`m yjur djej. 9?

 

Qcgrg's h rghsjf N'd ajnfk hll tcns. Qcns ns brjd h kuy wcj's spgft wgll jvgr h ag`hag stuaynfk tcns stubb, wjrmnfk nf dy jwf lnbg wntc nt, hfa wjrmnfk wntc `juftlgss kuys ht tcns pjnft. N dghf, tcjushfas jb kuys, tj cglp tcgd bnfhlly kgt tcg mnfa jb rgsults tcgy'vg hlwhys whftga, sj tcgrg's h rghsjf bjr hll tcns, hfa N'd kjnfk tj tng nt tjkgtcgr tcrjukc tcg `jursg. ^ju'vg eust chvg tj trust dg tcht tcns ns hll ndpjrthft stubb hfa nt's kjnfk tj irnfk yju tj h kjja plh`g. Pj brjd tcns pjnft jb vngw yju'rg kjnfk tj stjp `chsnfk wjdgf, yju'rg kjnfk tj stjp `chsnfk lnbg `nr`udsthf`gs, hfa yju'rg kjnfk tj sthrt thmnfk jf tcg httntuag, rnkct fjw, tcht hll tcgrg ns ns cjw yju gfkhkg wntc tcg prgsgft djdgft. Hrg yju brngfas wntc nt, jr hrg yju bnkctnfk nt: Hrg yju gfejynfk yjursglb, jr hrg yju rgsnstnfk hfa shynfk nt scjula ig sjdg jtcgr why, yju mfjw: Fj djrg jieg`tnvgs, hkgfahs, jr dnssnjfs wntc wjdgf. Qcg cghrt jb `rggpnfgss ns wcgf h kuy ns trynfk tj `hrry jut sjdg hkgfah wntc wjdgf. Jc, N fgga tj aj tcns, jr N whft cgr tj aj tcns, jr jc, tcg ahtg's kjnfk tj ig h tjthl bhnlurg nb scg ajgsf't aj tcns. N'vg kjt tj mnss cgr, N'vg kjt tj slggp wntc cgr, N'vg kjt tj aj tcns jr tcht. Hfa yju'rg puttnfk hll tcns prgssurg jf yjursglb hs nb ajnfk tcht ns kjnfk tj h`tuhlly dhmg yju chppy. [cht nt's h`tuhlly kjnfk tj aj ns, ns dhmg yju, lnmg, cjla yjur irghtc hfa jc, N'vg kjt tj aj tcns stubb. Hfa yjur dnfa's kjnfk tj ig sjdgwcgrg glsg, yju'rg kjnfk tj chvg tcns `rggpy gfgrky tcht yju'rg trynfk tj kgt sjdgwcgrg, kgt sjdgtcnfk. ^ju'rg fjt kjnfk tj ig prgsgft wntc cgr. Hfa wjdgf pn`m up jf tcht gfgrky. Jfg jb tcg tcnfks yju'll fjtn`g hijut ighutnbul wjdgf= jfg jb tcg rghsjfs wcy yju'll sgg tcgd rgeg`t dgf sj chrscly ns tcht h ljt jb kuys chvg tcns httntuag tcht, jc, nb N kjt cgr, nb N cjjmga up wntc cgr, tcht wjula dghf sjdgtcnfk rghlly kjja hijut dg. Qcht wjula dghf tcht N'd rghlly tcns mnfa jb kuy. Qcht wjula dhmg dg tcns uppgr g`cgljf jb kuy. Qcht wjula dhmg dg tcg dhf. Qcht wjula 98

 

dhmg kuys sgg dg hs tcns mnfa jb kuy. Qcht wjula dhmg jtcgr wjdgf sgg dg ht tcns mnfa jb kuy. Qcgy chvg hll tcns stubb iunlt up hijut cjw tcnfks wjula ig nb sjdgtcnfk chppgfga wntc tcht knrl, hfa nt pjnsjfs tcgnr gfgrky wcgf tcgy'rg thlmnfk tj tcg ighutnbul knrl, hfa nt bu`ms tcgd up. Nt  eust tjthlly agrhnls hfy `chf`g tcht tcgy'rg kjnfk tj chvg jb ignfk su``gssbul wntc tcg knrl. Pj fj djrg jieg`tnvgs, fj djrg hkgfahs, fj djrg dnssnjfs wntc wjdgf. Nfstgha, yju'll eust ig chintuhlly usga tj tcnfmnfk hfa h`tnfk nf h why tcht bggls kjja tj yju rnkct nf tcg djdgft. ^ju'rg fjt ljjmnfk tj tcg jutsnag wjrla tj knvg yju hfytcnfk jr tj kgt sjdgwcgrg, snf`g yju rghlnzg hll jb yjur chppnfgss, hll jb yjur djej, ns nfsnag yju hfa nfsnag cjw yju gfkhkg wntc tcg prgsgft djdgft. [cgf yju dhmg tcg scnbt, nfstgha jb wjdgf bgglnfk lnmg yju whft sjdgtcnfk brjd tcgd, tcgy'll bggl lnmg yju chvg tcns dhkn`hl gssgf`g tcht tcgy `hf't ufagrsthfa jr ags`rnig, iut tcgy'll bggl nrrgsnstnily hfa pjwgrbully arhwf tj yju. Qcgy wjf't ig hilg tj kgt gfjukc jb yju. Qcgy wjf't rghlly ig hilg tj kgt nt. Qcgy'll eust bggl lnmg yju chvg tcns sjdgtcnfk hijut yju tcht tcgy `hf't kgt gfjukc jb tcht dhmgs tcgd bggl rghlly kjja. Pnf`g yjur chppnfgss ns sjur`ga nfsnag yju, tcg jutsnag wjrla wjf't hbbg`t yjur httrh`tnvgfgss hfydjrg. Nt `hf't hbbg`t yjur httrh`tnvgfgss hfydjrg ig`husg yju sgg tcg nllusnjf bjr wcht nt ns. ^ju sgg tcht tcg jutsnag wjrla nsf't wcht ns dhmnfk yju chppy jr ufchppy nf tcg bnrst plh`g, nt's cjw yju gfkhkg wntc yjur lnfgs jb tcjukct, nt's cjw yju gfkhkg wntc tcg prgsgft djdgft. [cgf scg sggs tcht yju hrg lnmg hf nfbnfntg bjufthnf jb httrh`tnvgfgss, scg'll aj hfytcnfk hfa gvgrytcnfk nf cgr pjwgr tj mggp yju httrh`tga hfa nftgrgstga nf cgr bjrgvgr. Fjw, tcns kjgs ih`m tj tcg nagh jb kuys bgglnfk lnmg tcgy scjula ig kgttnfk igttgr rgsults wntc wjdgf, hfa ygt tcgy'rg kgttnfk wjrsg 99

 

rgsults, tcgy'rg bgglnfk lnmg tcgy ljst tcgnr djej. Lnmg, wjdgf rghlly whftga dg ht jfg pjnft, iut fjw nt's eust fjtcnfk N aj wjrms. N ajf't mfjw wcht nt ns. N bglt lnmg tcnfks scjula ig igttgr fjw, hfa ygt, tcgy'rg wjrsg. [gll, nt chs tj aj wntc yjur djja hfa puttnfk tcns nagh jut tcgrg, jr phrtn`nphtnfk nf tcns nagh, tcht yju `hf kgt sjdgwcgrg hfa tcgf yju'll ig chppy. Jr yju `hf kgt sjdgtcnfk hfa dhmg sjdgtcnfk chppy, hfa tcgf yju'll ig chppy. Nt's phrtnhlly tcht, iut nt's hlsj sjdgtcnfk tcht yju cghr h ljt jb pgjplg thlm hijut, wcn`c ns tcns nagh jb wjdgf tgstnfk yju. Fjw, N `jula kj jf hfa jf hijut tcg whys tcht wjdgf, qujtg, tgst yju, hfa dnfa yju, tcht's eust tcg why tcht pgjplg ljjm ht tcnfks. Qcht's eust sjdgtcnfk tcht pgjplg chvg thlmga hijut. Hrg wjdgf rghlly tgstnfk yju hfa tcrjwnfk jut tgsts tj sgg nb yju phss jr bhnl: Nb tcgy hrg, nt's sui`jfs`njus. Rgry bgw wjdgf hrg `jfs`njusly tgstnfk dgf hfa sgttnfk up cjjps bjr tcgd tj eudp tcrjukc hfa stubb lnmg tcht. Nt's djrg hijut wjdgf kj wntc wcht bggls kjja tj tcgd. Qcgy kj wntc wcht bggls fhturhl tj tcgd. Pj N mnfa jb whft tj arjp tcg nagh jb wjdgf tgstnfk yju tj igknf wntc, iut ig`husg sj dhfy pgjplg chvg plhftga tcht nagh nf kuy's cghas hfa ig`husg tcht's mnfa jb hlrghay agrhnlga h ljt jb kuys, N whft tj spghm tj nt tj scjw yju wcht tcg rghlnty jb nt ns. Nb yju whft tj phss gvgry tgst tcht wjdgf tcrjw yjur why, hfa rghlly, hkhnf, nt's iullscnt. Qcgy'rg fjt rghlly tcrjwnfk tgsts yjur why. Nb yju whft tj phss gvgry tgst, tcg why yju phss gvgry snfklg tgst wntc h wjdhf, ns eust yju'rg fjt hbbg`tga iy tcg jutsnag wjrla. ^ju ajf't tcnfm tcht tcg jutsnag wjrla ns wcht dhmgs yju chppy. ^ju ajf't tcnfm nt's wcht bulbnlls yju. ^ju ajf't tcnfm yju chvg tj kgt sjdgwcgrg tj ig chppy. ^ju ajf't tcnfm tcht yju fgga tj kgt sjdgtcnfk tj ig chppy.

90

 

Hfa ig`husg yju ajf't iuy nftj tcht nllusnjf, ig`husg yju eust gfkhkg wntc yjur lnbg hfa wntc wcht's chppgfnfk nf tcg prgsgft djdgft nf h why tcht bggls truly chppy hfa bulbnllnfk tj yju nf tcht djdgft, fjtcnfk's rghlly kjnfk tj tcrjw yju jbb. Gvgf nb scg shys sjdgtcnfk tcht wjula tcrjw djst kuys jbb, nt's fjt kjnfk tj hbbg`t yju. Lnmg, N'vg cha tndgs wcgrg wjdgf shna sjdgtcnfk tcht whs rghlly wgnra jr ruag jr jbbgfsnvg jr sjdgtcnfk, hfa yghrs hkj nt wjula'vg  eust tjthlly agrhnlga dg hfa N wjula'vg iggf `ruscga. N wjula'vg  eust cjlga dysglb up nf h rjjd bjr djftcs ht h tndg ig`husg N anaf't whft tj aghl wntc nt jr tcnfm hijut nt jr ig hrjufa wjdgf. Fjw N mnfa jb eust ljjm ht tcg knrl buffy hfa scg'll usuhlly eust, lnmg, thmg nt ih`m, "Jc dy kja, tcht whs rghlly ruag jb dg," jr, "Jc, tcht whs rghlly jbbgfsnvg. N anaf't dghf tcht." Pcg'll ih`mpgahl nddganhtgly. Ig`husg nf dy rghlnty nt ajgsf't hbbg`t dg, nt ajgsf't dghf hfytcnfk hijut dg, yju mfjw. Qcg jfly tcnfk tcht ns rghlly dg ns cjw N gfkhkg wntc tcg prgsgft djdgft nf brjft jb dg. Ig`husg tcg bh`t jb tcg dhttgr ns wcht's chppgfnfk nf tcg prgsgft djdgft ns wcht nt ns. N ajf't knvg h scnt wcht yju'rg tcnfmnfk hijut jr ndhknfnfk nf yjur cgha. [cht's rghlly chppgfnfk nf tcg djdgft ns rghlly wcht's kjnfk jf, hfa tcg jfly tcnfk tcht's rghlly yju ns cjw yju'rg gfkhknfk wntc tcht djdgft. Pj hkhnf, N'd thmnfk h int jb h thfkgft, iut N bggl nt's usgbul tj spghm hijut nt fjw. Nb yju whft tj phss gvgry sj-`hllga tgst h wjdhf tcrjws ht yju, gfkhkg wntc lnbg nf h why wcgrg yju hrg chvnfk buf wntc gvgry djdgft. ^ju gfkhkg wntc gvgry djdgft nf h why tcht bggls buf tj yju, gfejyhilg tj yju, nfspnrnfk tj yju, hll tcgsg mnfas jb tcnfks. Qcht's cjw yju hlwhys phss tcg tgst ig`husg yju'rg fgvgr hbbg`tga nf h fgkhtnvg why.

91

 

Qcg why tj bhnl h tgst ns yju shy, "Jc kja, N'd kjnfk tj ljsg sjdgtcnfk brjd tcns nb N rgspjfa wrjfk," hfa yju mfjw, "N'd kjnfk tj ljsg tcns tcnfk," jr, "N'd kjnfk tj ig lgss tchf dysglb," jr, "N'd kjnfk tj ig lh`mnfk," yju mfjw. Jr, "Nb scg tcnfms lgss jb dg," yju mfjw, "N'd kjnfk tj ljsg." Pj tcgsg kuys chvg tcns httntuag wcgrg, nb tcgy rgspjfa h `grthnf why, tcgy'll wnf hfa khnf sjdgtcnfk, hfa nb tcgy rgspjfa nf tcg wrjfk why, tcgy'll ljsg sjdgtcnfk. Hfa nt's iullscnt gntcgr why. Nt's fjt rghl. Nt's hll hf nllusnjf. Nt's hll eust phrtn`nphtnfk nf h vgry `jfvnf`nfk nllusnjf tcht h ljt jb pgjplg hrg agluaga nftj iglngvnfk. Djst jb sj`ngty ns whlmnfk hrjufa eust rgh`tnfk tj tcnfks tcht hrg chppgfnfk nf tcg jutsnag wjrla tcnfmnfk tcgy `hf wnf tcnfks hfa ljsg tcnfks, hfa tcht's kjnfk tj agtgrdnfg tcgnr chppnfgss. Nt's fjt. N'd tgllnfk yju, nb yju rghlly whft tj uflj`m yjur djej, yju gfkhkg wntc gvgry djdgft fj dhttgr wcht lnbg chfas yju, nf h why tcht bggls buf, nfspnrnfk hfa gfejyhilg tj yju - gvgf nb tcg wjrla's bhllnfk hphrt, yju mfjw: Pj lgt's djvg jf cgrg. Kuys wnll hsm dg hijut turfjbbs, wcht turfs jbb h wjdhf, hfa N tcnfm tcht wg mnfa jb sthrtga nftj tcns, sj lgt's thlm hijut tcns. Lgt's kj nftj, lnmg, sgvgf dhejr turfjbbs tj mnfa jb knvg yju hf nagh, iut yju'rg kjnfk tj mnfa jb sgg tcg dhtrnx jb hll tcns, hfa wg'vg tju`cga jf tcns hlrghay h lnttlg int. Qcgsg hrg prgtty du`c kjnfk tj kuhrhftgg h wjdhf nsf't httrh`tga tj yju, hfa nt's vgry ghsy tj hvjna tcgd usnfk wcht N'd thlmnfk hijut cgrg nf uflj`mnfk yjur djej. Bufahdgfthlly, tcnfmnfk sjdgtcnfk jutsnag jb yjursglb ns kjnfk tj dhmg yju chppy5 htthnfnfk h kjhl, chvnfk h wjdhf trght yju h `grthnf why, chvnfk sgx wntc h wjdhf, kgttnfk h ljt jb fjt`cgs jf yjur iglt, kgttnfk h knrlbrngfa- hfy jb tcns mnfa jb stubb. Qcnfmnfk 97

 

tcht tcht's kjnfk tj dhmg yju chppy ns hf nllusnjf. Nt ajgsf't sgrvg yju. Hll nt ajgs ns `husg yju tj cjla yjur irghtc. Cjla yjur irghtc hfa subbj`htg yjursglb hfa eust cjpg tcht sjdgahy, jc, N `hf chvg tcht tcnfk chppgf, hfa tcgf N `hf irghtcg. N `hf kgt tcht rglngb. Fj. Nt ajgsf't wjrm lnmg tcht. Nt's iullscnt. ^ju'rg eust phrtn`nphtnfk nf fjfsgfsg wcgf yju'rg tcnfmnfk lnmg tcht. Qcht's tcg bufahdgfthl rg`npg bjr turfnfk h wjdhf jbb. Qcht `husgs tcg bufahdgfthl turfjbb. Iut nt `hf thmg sgvgrhl bjrds= nt `hf ig nf tcg bjrd jb chvnfk hf hkgfah ig`husg yju iglngvg nb N kgt tcns tcnfk, tcgf N'll ig chppy, tcgf N'll ig djrg, tcgf N'll wnf, tcgf N'll ig jmhy. Nt `hf thmg tcg bjrd jb gdjtnjfhl nftjxn`htnjf. Pj lgt's thlm hijut gdjtnjfhl nftjxn`htnjf rghl qun`m. Cgrg's wcht nt `jdgs ajwf tj5 wcgf N whs thlmnfk hijut subbj`htnfk yjursglb hfa tcgf kgttnfk rglngb nb yju bnfhlly kgt tcht tcnfk. Qcht's tcg cghrt jb gdjtnjfhl nftjxn`htnjf. [cgrg, tcg sntuhtnjf tcht yju'rg nf, tcht yju'rg phrtn`nphtnfk nf rgkulhrly, bggls iha, iut tcgf j``hsnjfhlly sjdgtcnfk wnll chppgf wcn`c rgsgdilgs wcht nt ns tcht yju whft. [g fgvgr h`tuhlly kgt gxh`tly wcht wg whft nf jur cgha. [g hlwhys kgt, lnmg, 3?% tcgrg. Iut wg bggl, lnmg, hc, tcgrg's ht lghst cjpg. N `hf irghtcg, yju mfjw. Hfa wg dnsthmg tcht rglngb bjr kjjafgss. Pjdgtndgs h kuy wnll kgt nftj h rglhtnjfscnp wntc h knrl wcj's eust h phnf nf tcg hss hfa rglhtnjfscnp nsf't kjja, iut cg whfts nt tj ig kjja, hfa cg whfts nt tj wjrm jut. Hfa cg iglngvgs tcht nb cg kgts nt, cns bhfthsy ns tcht nb cg kgts nt, tcgf cg wnll ig chppy. Cg wnll khnf sjdgtcnfk tcht cg ajgsf't chvg rnkct fjw.

92

 

Hfa sj tcg wcjlg tndg cg's subbj`htnfk cndsglb, cg's bgglnfk lnmg scnt, cg's wjrrynfk, cg's h fgrvjus wrg`m, cg's strgssga jut. Cg's agspgrhtgly cjpnfk tcht tcnfks wnll wjrm jut, hfa cg's brhftn`. Cg's kjnfk jf bjruds jf tcg Nftgrfgt thlmnfk tj kuys wcj chvg fgvgr kjttgf lhna, iut tcgy'rg knvnfk cnd havn`g hfywhy, hll tcns mnfa jb scnt. Hfa yju mfjw, cg's eust h bgglnfk, lnmg, tgrrnilg. Iut tcgf sjdgtcnfk kjja chppgfs tcht knvgs cnd cjpg. Hfa cg bggls hll tcht rglngb. Hfa cg tcnfms, "N'd jf tjp jb tcg wjrla. Qcns wjdhf ns dhmnfk dg bggl kjja. N'vg fgvgr bglt sj kjja nf dy lnbg." [gll, tcg bh`t jb tcg dhttgr ns nt's fjt tcht cg bggls kjja= nt's tcht cg whs bgglnfk sj iha igbjrg hfa cg bnfhlly kjt rglngb brjd tcjsg iha bgglnfks, hfa cg's dnsthmnfk tcht bjr kjjafgss. Cg's dnsthmnfk tcht rglngb brjd tcg `jfsthft scnttnfgss cg's bgglnfk hs bgglnfk kjja hfa kgttnfk cnkc ig`husg cg's bjrkjttgf wcht nt fhturhlly bggls lnmg tj  eust bggl kjja djvnfk tcrjukc lnbg. Cg's bjrkjttgf tcht. Nb yju'rg nf tcht mnfa jb h pjsntnjf jb gdjtnjfhl nftjxn`htnjf, yju chvg tj rg`jkfnzg wcgf yju'rg cjlanfk yjur irghtc hfa bgglnfk iha tcg wcjlg tndg. Hfa rg`jkfnzg wcgf yju'rg phrtn`nphtnfk nf h `y`lg wcgrg, rghlly, yju bggl iha hll tcg tndg hfa yju'rg eust kgttnfk djdgfthry s`rhps jb plghsurg, djdgfthry s`rhps jb rglngb. Qcht ns fjt djej, tcht's hftn-djej-tcht's fj-ej, tcg jppjsntg jb djej. Pj lgt's thlm hijut hfjtcgr gdjtnjf tcht gfas up pjnsjfnfk yjur djej, tcht gfas up rgpgllnfk wjdgf hfa turfnfk wjdgf jbb. Chtg, chvnfk chtg nfsnag yju. Pj dhyig yju chtg jtcgr kuys tcht chvg wrjfkga yju nf tcg phst jr pgjplg tcht chvg s`rgwga yju jvgr. Jr dhyig yju chtg wjdgf, jr yju chtga `grthnf wjdgf, jr yju chtg tcg why tcht yju wgrg trghtga iy wjdgf, jr yju chtg yjur eji, jr yju chtg yjur ijss, jr yju chtg wcgrg yju lnvg, hfy jb tcgsg mnfas jb tcnfks.

9;

 

Chvnfk chtg nfsnag yju hfa phrtn`nphtnfk nfsnag yju= nt's hf nftgrgstnfk gdjtnjf ig`husg sjdgtndgs yju `hf bggl bnrga up jvgr nt ig`husg nt kgts yjur cghrt pudpnfk hfa yju `hf bggl lnmg yju'rg rghlly gfkhknfk, yju'rg rghlly bgglnfk sjdgtcnfk. Iut yju'rg krnttnfk yjur tggtc, hfa nt's h vgry rgpgllnfk gfgrky tj wjdgf. Nt dhmgs wjdgf bggl vgry uf`jdbjrthilg, ig`husg dgf wcj chtg hfa chvg h aggp chtg ruffnfk tcrjukc tcgd, hrg jut jb `jftrjl. Qcgy dhmg iha ag`nsnjfs, hfa sj wjdgf nfstnf`tuhlly pn`m up jf h kuy wcj chs h ljt jb chtg nfsnag jb tcgd, hfa tcgy whft tj hvjna nt hfa kgt hwhy brjd cnd ig`husg tcgy mfjw nt's fjt h shbg gfgrky tj ig hrjufa. Kuys tcht chtg wnll gfa up irnfknfk tcnfks nftj tcgnr lnbg tcht wnll agstrjy tcgd. Qcgy'll gntcgr thmg jf iha, agstru`tnvg chints, jr tcgy'll pn`m bnkcts wntc tcg wrjfk pgrsjf, hfa yju mfjw, nfvntg trjuilg nftj tcgnr lnbg. [jdgf nfstnf`tuhlly bggl wcgf h kuy chs chtg nfsnag jb tcgd hfa tcgy hvjna tcht kuy. Hfa hlsj jf mnfa jb h rglhtga fjtg, chrijrnfk sg`rgt, fgkhtnvg bgglnfks, sj chvnfk rgsgftdgft, jr chvnfk-dhyig tcgy'rg gfkhknfk wntc h wjdhf jr tcgy chvg h rglhtnjfscnp wntc h wjdhf hfa tcgy'rg shynfk gvgrytcnfk's bnfg jf tcg surbh`g, iut tcgy'rg chrijrnfk fgkhtnvg bgglnfks tjwhras cgr, jr tcgy rgsgft cgr, jr tcgy'rg sha, jr tcgy bggl lnmg tcgy'rg fjt kjja gfjukc, tcgy bggl lnmg tcgy fgga tj ig h `grthnf why nf jragr bjr tcgd tj ig chppy, hfy jb tcgsg mnfas jb tcnfks. Pj eust mggpnfk tcgsg mnfas jb fgkhtnvg bgglnfks hlnvg, tcgsg sg`rgt fgkhtnvg bgglnfks-lnmg dhyig h kuy's hschdga jb sjdgtcnfk. Lnmg, cg bggls lnmg ig`husg sjdgtcnfk ns trug hijut cndsglb dhyig hijut cns pcysn`hl hppghrhf`g jr hijut cns eji jr hijut cns gau`htnjf lgvgl jr hijut wcj cg ns jr sjdgtcnfk tcht chppgfga tj cnd nf tcg phst, jr hfy jb tcgsg mnfas jb tcnfks.

93

 

Chrijrnfk tcgsg sg`rgt bgglnfks hfa bgglnfk lnmg nt dghfs yju `hf't ig chppy jr nt dghfs yju `hf't kgt wcht yju whft= fjt jfly ns nt hf nllusnjf. Nt's iullscnt. Nt's fjt tcg trutc. Iut tcjsg fgkhtnvg bgglnfks tcht kuy's mggp nt ijttlga up nf sg`rgt nfsnag, phrtn`nphtnfk nf tcjsg ns rgpgllnfk wjdgf brjd cnd, yju mfjw. Qcgrg's fj vhlug tj nt ig`husg nt's fjt hijut chvnfk h `grthnf `chrh`tgrnstn` jr ignfk h `grthnf typg jb kuy jr chvnfk h `grthnf mnfa jb cnstjry jr `chrh`tgrnstn` jr hfytcnfk lnmg tcht. Nt's hijut cjw yju gfkhkg tcgd nf tcg djdgft. N cjpg dhyig nt's igknffnfk tj ahwf jf yju wcht hf nf`rganilg hfa dnrh`uljus trutc tcns ns, yju mfjw. N rgdgdigr yghrs hkj, tcgrg whs h `jdganhf fhdga _htrn`g J'Fghl, hfa cg whs jf h rhanj scjw N whs lnstgfnfk tj, hfa cg whs thlmnfk hijut cns knrlbrngfa ht tcg tndg, hfa cg whs shynfk cjw cg usga tj ig sj igft jut jb schpg hijut wjdgf hfa tcgf cg rghlnzga tcht wjdgf whftga sjdgtcnfk djrg. Qcgy rgspjfaga tj sjdgtcnfk djrg tcht anaf't chvg tj aj wntc ljjms jr cjw cghvy yju wgrg jr yjur rh`g, jr hfytcnfk lnmg tcht. Qcht tcgrg whs h `grthnf sjdgtcnfk tcht, nb yju eust thppga nftj tcht, wjdgf wgrg httrh`tga tj yju, hfa hll tcht jtcgr stubb anaf't dhttgr.

Hfa cg shna tcht whs tcg djdgft wcgf cg rghlnzga tcht, tcht whs wcht dhag wjdgf ghsy bjr cnd hfa dhag lnbg ghsy bjr cnd. [gll, wcht cg whs rghlly thlmnfk hijut, cg anaf't gxpln`ntly gxplhnf nt, iut cg kjt prgtty `ljsg. [cht cg whs rghlly thlmnfk hijut whs djej. Cg whs thlmnfk hijut chvnfk djej= gfkhknfk nf lnbg nf h why tcht eust bggls kjja nf tcg prgsgft djdgft, tcht yju ajf't phrtn`nphtg nf tcnfks tcht ajf't bggl kjja. Cg whs thlmnfk hijut wcgf cg rghlnzga tcht wjdgf hrg httrh`tga tj kuys wcj hrg lnvnfk tcgnr lnbg lnmg tcht, lnbg kjt ghsngr ig`husg cg whs h `jdganhf, hfa cg's kjja ht chvnfk buf wntc lnbg. [cgf cg 9>

 

rghlnzga tcht tcgrg whs h `jffg`tnjf tcgrg tcht dhag wjdgf ghsy tcht `chfkga cns lnbg. Hfa N'd fjt shynfk ig h `jdganhf. Ignfk h `jdganhf whs wcht bggls kjja tj cnd. Pjdg pgjplg dnkct bggl tcg djst buf hfa nfspnrhtnjf brjd dhmnfk sthnfga-klhss wnfajws. N mfjw h kuy wcj kgts lhna lnmg `rhzy hfa cns phssnjf ns dhmnfk sthnfga- klhss wnfajws. Pjdg kuys chvg phssnjf hijut plhynfk kunthr, jr snfknfk. Pjdg kuys chvg phssnjf hijut ruffnfk h iusnfgss, jr ajnfk dhrmgtnfk, jr hfytcnfk lnmg tcht. Lnmg nt's fjt hijut wcht yju `cjjsg, nt's hijut tcht yju `cjjsg sjdgtcnfk tcht yju'rg eust sj phssnjfhtg hijut. [g'rg kjnfk tj kgt nftj tcht lhtgr. Cgrg's hfjtcgr tcnfk tcht turfs wjdgf jbb hfa rgpgls wjdgf, eust mnlls yjur djej, eust mnlls yjur httrh`tnvgfgss5 tcns nagh jb pjwgrnfk tcrjukc. Fjw, N krgw up nf Hdgrn`h, tcg Wfntga Pthtgs, Fjrtcghst, Dhssh`cusgtts hfa lnvga nf Ijstjf bjr dhfy yghrs. N whs surrjufaga iy rghlly sdhrt pgjplg, pgjplg wntc krght ejis, pgjplg wcj wgrg vgry chra wjrmgrs, hfa sj nt whs tcg fjrd bjr pgjplg tj pjwgr tcrjukc tcnfks. [cht aj N dghf iy pjwgrnfk tcrjukc: Qcg nagh jb pjwgrnfk tcrjukc ns, wgll, N bggl lnmg scnt rnkct fjw, iut ljsgrs hrg tcg jfgs wcj knvg up ig`husg sjdgtcnfk bggls iha. N'd kjnfk tj pjwgr tcrjukc nt. N'd kjnfk tj aj nt hfywhy. N'd kjnfk tj aj wchtgvgr N'd ajnfk hfa `jftnfug jf tcns `jursg hfywhy ig`husg N'd kjnfk tj kgt tj tcg kjhl lnfg hfa tcgf N'll ig chppy, hfa tcgf N'll chvg pgh`g, hfa tcgf gvgrytcnfk wnll ig jmhy. [gll, tcg trutc jb tcg dhttgr ns, hfa tcht N bjufa jut yghrs lhtgr, ns yjur ufchppnfgss nsf't h rgqunrgdgft tj rgh`c yjur kjhl. Nf bh`t, nt's yjur dnfa hfa yjur ijay tgllnfk yju, "Cgy, yju'rg thmnfk tcg wrjfk hpprjh`c tj tcns. ^ju'rg thmnfk tcg wrjfk vngwpjnft tj tcns. 0?

 

^ju'rg thmnfk tcg wrjfk pgrspg`tnvg jf tcns. ^ju'rg gfkhknfk wntc tcns nf tcg wrjfk why. Ptjp nt hfa thmg jf h anbbgrgft why jb gfkhknfk wntc nt." Qcht's wcht yjur irhnf's trynfk tj tgll yju. Nb yju anaf't lnmg tcht tcnfk, nb yju wgrgf't arhwf tj tcht tcnfk nf tcg bnrst plh`g, tcgf yju wjulaf't whft tj ig ajnfk nt. Lnmg, yju wjulaf't ig httrh`tga tj rghlly cjt wjdgf uflgss yjur ijay hfa yjur dnfa mfgw h why tcht yju `jula kgt tcjsg rghlly cjt wjdgf. Nt wjula eust ig `rugl= nt wjula ig h `rugl trn`m jb fhturg tj  eust dhmg yju chvg tcg ndpulsg hfa tcg agsnrg tj chvg h `grthnf sjdgtcnfk hfa tcgf fjt knvg yju tcg dghfs tj aj nt. Iut tcg khdg jb lnbg ns bnkurnfk jut cjw tj kgt tcgrg, cjw tj ig tcg why tcht kgts yju tcht tcnfk yju whft. Qcg shdg wntc hfytcnfk tcht yju'rg rghlly phssnjfhtg hijut. N'vg iggf rghlly phssnjfhtg hijut iusnfgss. N'vg iggf rghlly phssnjfhtg hijut lghrfnfk psy`cjljky hfa lghrfnfk hijut wcht rghlly wjrms wntc wjdgf, hfa lghrfnfk cjw tj `jh`c pgjplg hfa tgh`c pgjplg cjw tj irnfk tcns mnfa jb su``gss nftj tcgnr lnvgs. N'vg ljvga tcht stubb= N'vg iggf phssnjfhtg hijut tcht mnfa jb stubb. Hfa yju mfjw, bjr yghrs, igbjrg N whs rghlly kgttnfk tcg rghl mnfa jb rgsults tcht wgrg eust dnfa-iljwnfk kjja, N whs pjwgrnfk tcrjukc h ljt jb tcg tndg. N whs shynfk, "Jc, tcns dhrmgtnfk tcnfk ns fjt wjrmnfk," hfa yju mfjw, "Nt's lnmg N chvgf't cha sgx nf djftcs rnkct fjw, hfa tcnfks hrg su`mnfk rnkct fjw nf dy lnbg, hfa N chtg wcgrg N lnvg," hfa hll tcns mnfa jb stubb. "Iut nb N eust mggp wjrmnfk chra, tcgf N'd kjnfk tj djvg ajwf tj Dnhdn Igh`c, hfa N'd kjnfk tj chvg hll tcns djfgy, hfa N'd kjnfk tj chvg tcg lnbg hfa tcg iusnfgss tcht N whft hfa N'd kjnfk tj ig chppy." Hfa sj N whs dnsgrhilg ht tcg tndg, iut N whs pjwgrnfk tcrjukc. Hfa N tcjukct tcht nb N anaf't pjwgr tcrjukc hfa mggp jf tcht phtc, tcgf N fgvgr wjula'vg kjttgf tcgrg hfa N fgvgr wjula'vg kjttgf su``gss, hfa tcht lnbg wjula'vg su`mga bjr dg. Pj bjr dg, bhnlurg 08

 

whsf't hf jptnjf, iut tcg phtc tj su``gss bglt lnmg tcht nt fggaga tj ig tcns ljfk, phnfbul trgm tcht whs bnllga wntc phnf hfa strgss hfa rgeg`tnjf hfa cudnlnhtnjf hfa hfkgr hfa hll sjrts jb fgkhtnvnty. Fjw, gvgftuhlly lhtgr jf, N bnkurga jut tcht wcht N ljvga hijut `jh`cnfk pgjplg whs purg. [cht N ljvga hijut iusnfgss whs purg. [cht N ljvga hijut sjdg jb dy cjiings, lnmg plhynfk kunthr jr plhynfk pnhfj jr ruffnfk jr swnddnfk jr gxgr`nsg hfy jb tcgsg tcnfks tcht N eust gfejy, dy gfejydgft jb tcgd whs purg. [cht whs dhmnfk nt dnsgrhilg whs tcns nagh tcht N fggaga tcnfks tj ig h `grthnf why bjr dg tj ig chppy, jr N fggaga tj kgt sjdgwcgrg. N fggaga tj kgt sjdgtcnfk. N tcjukct tcht tcht tcgrg whs tcns vhlug jb puttnfk up tcns ndhkg jb tcns ns wcgrg N whft tj kgt, hfa gvgrytcnfk su`ms uftnl N kgt nt. N tcjukct tcgrg whs vhlug tj tcht. Qcg rghlnty ns tcg tcnfks tcht yju'rg arhwf tjwhras hfa tcg tcnfks yju whft tj kj bjr nf lnbg hrg purg. Qcgy'rg buf. Nt's h buf tcnfk tj kj tjwhras. ^jur irhnf's shynfk, "^gs, kj tjwhras tcht, nt wjula ig buf bjr yju tj pursug tcht." Qcht's wcy yju chvg tcg ndpulsg, tcht nftgrgst nf yjur dnfa. Iut yjur irhnf ns hlsj trynfk tj knvg yju h cnft, h strjfk cnft, tcht ufbjrtufhtgly dhfy jb us nkfjrg, jb tcg rnkct phtc tj thmg bjr yju. Nt's krght tj chvg h anrg`tnjf tcht yju whft tj kj nf lnbg, sjdgtcnfk yju whft tj pursug, sjdgtcnfk yju tcnfm ns buf hfa nftgrgstnfk, sjdgtcnfk yju'rg phssnjfhtg hijut. Nt's krght tj chvg tcht. Hfa yjur irhnf whfts tj cglp yju, hfa tcg why yjur irhnf cglps yju ns wcgf yju'rg jf tcg igst pjssnilg phtc tj kgt tcg igst rgsults, tj kgt tcg bhstgst rgsults, tj kgt tcg inkkgst rgsults, tj kgt tcg rgsults tcht cglp tcg djst pgjplg. Nt dhmgs yju bggl chppy, nfspnrga, bull jb gfgrky, eust eudp jut jb iga hfa yju `hf't whnt tj lnvg yjur lnbg. Qcht's cjw nt bggls wcgf yju'rg jf tcg rnkct phtc, wcgf yju'rg phrtn`nphtnfk nf gfkhknfk nf lnbg nf tcg rnkct why. Fhturg chs agsnkfga yjur bgglnfks, yjur gdjtnjfhl systgd, tj aj tcht jfg 09

 

tcnfk. Qcht's tcg wcjlg purpjsg jb nt. Qcht's tcg wcjlg purpjsg jb chppnfgss ns tj shy, "Cgy, yju'rg jf tcg rnkct trh`m. ^ju'rg lnvnfk nt rnkct." Hfa wcgf yju bggl scntty, wcgf yju bggl hbrhna, wjrrnga, strgssga jut, hfkry, ansshtnsbnga, bull jb chtg, bull jb inttgrfgss, bull jb  eghljusy cjla jf. kjnfk tj up. Qcns kj."

,hll tcgsg mnfas jb tcnfks. Qcht's yjur irhnf shynfk, "Jc, ^ju fgga tj thmg jf h anbbgrgft pgrspg`tnvg. Qcns jfg ns arnvg yju nftj tcg krjufa. Qcns jfg's kjnfk tj s`rgw yju jfg ns fjt kjnfk tj kgt yju tj wcgrg yju rghlly whft tj

Qcht ns wcht yjur irhnf ns trynfk tj s`rghd ht yju, iut wg lnvg nf h sj`ngty wcgrg fgkhtnvg bgglnfks hrg mnfa jb lnmg tcns `hsuhlty jb djagrf lnbg. Lnmg, hc, yghc, N aj mnfa jb bggl scntty, hfa N chvg iggf bgglnfk scntty, iut tcht's lnbg, yju mfjw: [gll fj, tcht's fjt lnbg. Lnbg ns s`rghdnfk ht yju tj arjp tcht phtc hfa thmg jf h anbbgrgft hpprjh`c, h anbbgrgft why tj gfkhkg, iut yju'rg fjt lnstgfnfk, hfa yju chvg tj lnstgf. [cgf yju lnstgf tj yjur dnfa hfa yjur ijay, yju wnll ig hdhzga wntc tcg hdjuft jb nftgllnkgf`g tcht yjur dnfa hfa ijay chs. ^ju wnll ig hdhzga ht wcht yjur dnfa hfa ijay ns trynfk tj kunag yju tjwhras. Hfa yju'll ig hdhzga ht cjw du`c djrg gbbg`tnvg yju hrg ht kgttnfk wcht nt ns yju whft. Hfa yju'll bggl chppy tcg wcjlg tndg= yju'll bggl kjja hfa shtnsbnga hfa bulbnllga= yju wnll bggl lnmg yju'rg hlnvg, lnmg, rghlly hlnvg, bjr tcg bnrst tndg. N ajf't `hrg nb yju'rg 0?, 1?, 7?, 2?, ;?, 3?-hfa N'vg wjrmga wntc kuys wcj hrg nf tcgnr 3?s, iy tcg why. N'vg cha kuys, dhyig fjt tcg kuys nf tcgnr 3?s, iut N'vg cha kuys tgll dg tcht hfa tcgy wgrg du`c jlagr tchf dg. Qcgy bglt lnmg wcgf tcgy sthrtga rghlly ajnfk tcns stubb hfa rghlly ajnfk nt, tcht tcgy wgrg hlnvg bjr tcg bnrst tndg hfa tcgy wgrg kgttnfk igttgr rgsults wntc wjdgf, hfa nf tcgnr lnbg nf kgfgrhl, tchf tcgy'vg gvgr kjttgf igbjrg. Qcgy bglt igttgr tchf tcgy'vg gvgr bglt igbjrg, sj tcns ns pjwgrbul stubb. 00

 

N'd tgh`cnfk yju cjw tj uflj`m yjur djej sj yju `hf kgt tcg mnfa jb wjdgf hfa rglhtnjfscnp yju whft, iut tcns ns kjnfk tj `chfkg yjur lnbg tjj, wcgf yju rghlly phrtn`nphtg nf nt. Iut pjwgrnfk tcrjukc, nb yju'rg hf jvgrh`cngvnfk typg jr h pgrbg`tnjfnst typg, lnmg N whs, hfa nb yju'rg h sdhrt pgrsjf-h`hagdn`hlly sdhrt jr su``gssbul nf yjur `hrggr-tcjsg pgjplg, sdhrt pgjplg, nftgllnkgft pgjplg, su``gssbul pgjplg, tgfa tj ig hlsj tcg djst sus`gptnilg tj pjwgrnfk tcrjukc. Qcg nagh tcht nb tcgy bggl iha jf tcgnr pursunt jb tcgnr kjhl, tcht's h fjf- nssug hfa tcht nt's ljsgrs wcj knvg up, hfa tcht nt's h fjfnssug. Fjpg. Bjlljw tcg phtc tcht bggls kjja. Nt's fjt kjnfk tj tcrjw yju jbb brjd whftnfk tj rgh`c yjur kjhl jr pursunfk nt. ^ju'rg h`tuhlly kjnfk tj chvg h trgdgfajus hdjuft djrg gfgrky hfa nt's kjnfk tj bggl trgdgfajusly igttgr tj yju hs yju'rg pursunfk nt. _jwgrnfk tcrjukc ns fjt tcg hfswgr. _ursunfk nt hfa gfkhknfk wntc gvgry djdgft jf tcg trgm nf h why tcht bggls chppy, ns kjnfk tj kgt yju why igttgr rgsults. Pj pjwgrnfk tcrjukc, tcht's hfjtcgr why tj turf jbb wjdgf tcht yju whft tj hvjna. Cgrg's hfjtcgr dhejr turfjbb, hfa tcns ns sjdgtcnfk tcht N'vg sggf h`tuhlly rg`jddgfaga nf prjau`ts hfa jf tcg Nftgrfgt tcht N whft tj anbbusg rnkct fjw ig`husg tcns ns h dhejr lgha pnpg lghanfk tj Yjdg tcht N chvg rnp jut jb tcg krjufa tj sgrvg yju. N chvg tj cglp yju wntc tcns nb yju chvg ansiglngb. Hfa tcns ns trynfk tj `rghtg fgkhtnvg rgh`tnjfs nf cgr tj khnf pjwgr jvgr cgr. Pj tcgrg's iggf h ljt jb `jftrjvgrsnhl stubb hijut-nb yju rgha tcns stubb jf tcg Nftgrfgt, yju dnkct sgg pgjplg thlmnfk hijut fgkknfk knrls, wcgrg nt's mnfa jb lnmg tcns ih`mchfaga `jdplndgft wcgrg tcgrg's mnfa jb lnmg tcns nfsult dnxga nf wntc h `jdplndgft, hfa nt's suppjsga tj mnfa jb, lnmg, thmg cgr ajwf h pgk hfa ljwgr cgr sglbgstggd, yju mfjw. Qcgf nt's mnfa jb lnmg yju irnfk cgr ajwf tj yjur lgvgl.

01

 

[gll nb yju iglngvg tcht, bnrst jb hll, nb yju tcnfm hijut nt, nb yju iglngvg tcht, nb yju iglngvg tcht yju fgga tj aj tcht, tcgf yju chvg tcns pgr`gptnjf tcht scg's hijvg yju hfa yju fgga tj mfj`m cgr ajwf tj yjur lgvgl. ^ju'rg ihsn`hlly shynfk, "Pcg's hwgsjdg hfa N su`m, iut N'd kjnfk tj kj up hfa aj sjdg trn`ms sj tcht N `hf dhmg cgr su`m hs du`c hs dg." Lnmg, rghlly, tcht's cjw yju whft tj tcnfm hijut nt. Qcht's wcht yju tcnfm ns kjnfk tj lgha tj su``gss bjr yju: Jmhy. Qcg nagh jb fgkknfk ns blhwga. Fjw, tcg whys tcht fgkknfk `hdg hijut hfa tcg jrnknfs jb nt hfa stubb lnmg tcht, h ljt jb tcg pgjplg wcj mnfa jb agvgljpga tcg naghs hfa tcg psy`cjljky igcnfa nt hfa hll tcht, N aj chvg rgspg`t bjr tcjsg kuys. Qcns ns fjt dg trynfk tj scnt jf hfyijay jr scnt jf tcnfks tcht chvg iggf wrnttgf hijut nf tcg phst, nt's eust wg `jula kj burtcgr. N `hf knvg yju sjdgtcnfk igttgr tcht's kjnfk tj wjrm igttgr bjr yju, hfa fjt jfly ns tcg wjdhf kjnfk tj ig djrg httrh`tga tj yju, nt's hlsj kjnfk tj bggl h ljt igttgr hfa nt's kjnfk tj dhmg h igttgr rglhtnjfscnp. Pcg's kjnfk tj ig djrg chppy tj knvg yju wcht yju whft hfa scg's fjt kjnfk tj rgsgft yju bjr. Qcg tcnfk ns, ns nb yju'rg trynfk tj `rghtg fgkhtnvg rgh`tnjfs nf h wjdhf tj khnf pjwgr jvgr cgr, scg's kjnfk tj hssj`nhtg tcjsg fgkhtnvg bgglnfks wntc yju. Hfa gvgf nb yju wnf tcg ihttlg wntc cgr, yju'rg kjnfk tj ljsg tcg whr. [cgf yju dhmg h wjdhf bggl iha, yju `hf ig `grthnf scg'll rgdgdigr nt, hfa gvgftuhlly, scg wnll bnfa h why tj dhmg yju phy nf tcg wjrst why. Hfa N dghf wjdgf hrg kjja ht bnfanfk cjw tj dhmg yju phy nf tcg wjrst why. Nb yju cha h iha nftgft hfa yju nftgftnjfhlly dhag cgr bggl iha, wht`c jut. N prjdnsg yju, wjdgf hrg gxpgrts ht gvgfnfk tcg s`hlgs, sj nb yju aj nt, ajf't shy N anaf't whrf yju. Nt's fjt h kjja tcnfk tj try hfa aj. Qrynfk tj `rghtg fgkhtnvg rgh`tnjfs `hf ig tcrjukc h`tnjfs tcnfks tcht yju ana wntc cgr, jr tcrjukc nftgftnjfhlly wntccjlanfk sjdgtcnfk tj stnr up fgkhtnvg bgglnfks wntc cgr. 07

 

Pj dhyig yju mfjw tcht dhyig yju'rg nf h rglhtnjfscnp hfa yju mfjw scg lnmgs nt wcgf yju tgxt cgr, iut yju kjt nftj h bnkct lhst fnkct, hfa yju whft tj dhmg cgr phy bjr tcg bnkct hfa yju whft tj khnf pjwgr jvgr cgr. Pj yju ag`nag fjt tj tgxt cgr bjr sgvgrhl ahys ht h tndg ig`husg yju whft tj tgh`c cgr h lgssjf. ^ju whft tj kgt cgr ufagr `jftrjl. ^ju whft tj scjw cgr tcht yju `hf cjla jut hfa tgh`c cgr h lgssjf. [gll, dhyig yju'll wnf tcht ihttlg, hfa tcgf lhtgr jf wcgf yju rghlly whft sgx hfa yju'rg rghlly cjrfy, jc, dhyig scg eust chppgfs tj chvg h cghah`cg tcht fnkct. Jc, pjjr yju, yju mfjw. [gll, djst kuys wjula eust tcnfm, "[jw, tcns rghlly su`ms. N'd pnssga jbb rnkct fjw." Hfa tcgy'll bggl pnssga jbb hfa tcgy'll bggl hffjyga hfa tcgy'll bggl hfkry. Iut tcgy ajf't dhmg tcg `jffg`tnjf jb, jc yghc, h bgw djftcs hkj N thukct cgr tcht lgssjf wntccjlanfk tcg tgxt dgsshkgs hfa dhag cgr wjrry nb N ljvga cgr hfa hll tcht mnfa jb stubb. Hfa tcgy ajf't dhmg tcg `jffg`tnjf tcht tcns ns cgr scg whs whntnfk bjr tcht djdgft tj kgt yju ih`m, hfa scg kjt yju ih`m. Pcg eust whs nf tcg djja tj, lnmg, jc, jmhy, tjfnkct's tcg fnkct tcht N'd kjnfk tj kgt cnd ih`m ig`husg yju nfvntga tcht mnfa jb gfgrky nftj yjur rglhtnjfscnp. ^ju `rghtga tcht ayfhdn`. ^ju phrtn`nphtga nf trynfk tj `rghtg fgkhtnvg rgh`tnjfs nf cgr tj khnf pjwgr jvgr cgr. Hfa scg ana tcg shdg tcnfk ih`m. Nb yju ajf't whft tcht mnfa jb ayfhdn` nf yjur rglhtnjfscnp, hfa N `hf't ndhknfg yju aj, fj shfg pgrsjf wjula, ajf't hpprjh`c tcnfks tcht why. Qhmg jf hf hpprjh`c tcht bggls kjja tj cgr hfa turfs cgr jf tcg wcjlg tndg, hfa scg wnll aj tcg shdg ih`m tj yju. Pcg wnll rgblg`t tcht gfgrky ih`m tj yju. Fjw, N whft tj thlm hijut wcht wjdgf rghlly dghf wcgf tcgy'rg thlmnfk hijut `jddufn`htnjf wntc h kuy hfa gxh`tly cjw tj knvg cgr wcht nt ns tcht scg whfts sj scg's bnfhlly shtnsbnga hfa aggply httrh`tga tj yju. Lgt's thlm hijut `jddufn`htnjf. 02

 

@jddufn`htnjf wntc wjdgf, tcg sgga jb nt, tcg cghrt jb nt, tcg `jrg jb nt ns ig wnllnfk tj thlm hijut gvgrytcnfk hfa hfytcnfk. N'd fjt shynfk tcht yju fgga tj vjdnt up yjur sjul jftj h plhttgr. Qcgrg's fj pusc bjr yju tj chvg tj thlm hijut tcnfks, iut N'd shynfk nt's h wnllnfkfgss tcht nb sjdgtcnfk `jdgs up, yju'rg wnllnfk tj thlm hijut nt, hfa yju'rg wnllnfk tj thlm hijut gvgrytcnfk hfa hfytcnfk. ^ju ajf't chvg stubb tcht yju'rg hbrhna jb thlmnfk hijut. ^ju chvg fj ndhkg tj agbgfa jr prjtg`t. ^ju chvg fj gkj tj nfblhtg jr prgsgrvg. ^ju chvg fj wjufa tcht yju'rg trynfk tj scngla. "Jc Kja nb N thlm hijut tcns tcgf scg's kjnfk tj tcnfm tcns hijut dg hfa tcgf scg's kjnfk tj ahc, ahc, ahc, ahc, ahc." Fj, nt's hll eust hijut cjw yju gfkhkg wntc tcg prgsgft djdgft. Nt's hll eust hijut cjw yju gfkhkg wntc lnbg. Pj nb sjdgtcnfk `jdgs up, tcht's wcht's chppgfnfk rnkct fjw hfa yju'rg jmhy wntc nt. ^ju'rg jmhy wntc nt. Qcht's h ink pcrhsg tcht N whft yju tj thttjj jftj yjur irhnf. ^ju'rg jmhy wntc nt, yju'rg jmhy wntc wcht's chppgfnfk rnkct fjw, ig`husg kugss wcht: Nt's chppgfnfk fjw, wcgtcgr yju'rg arnvnfk tcg `hr hfa yju'rg rglhxga jr yju'rg arnvnfk tcg `hr wntc yjur chfa `lgf`cga tj tcg stggrnfk wcggl, swghtnfk lnmg `rhzy, ighas jb swght ruscnfk ajwf yjur bjrgcgha hfa yju'rg eust krnppnfk tcht stggrnfk wcggl. Qcg `hr ns kjnfk tj arnvg tcg shdg. ^ju'rg prjihily kjnfk tj arnvg h ljt igttgr nb yju'rg rglhxga. Iut fjt egrmnfk tcg `hr hrjufa, iut yju ajf't fgga tj wnpg mfu`mlg yjur why tcrjukc lnbg. Nt's hijut cjw yju'rg gfkhknfk wntc tcg `jfantnjfs jb tcg rjha. "Jc jmhy sj tcgrg's `jfstru`tnjf up hcgha. [gll, N kjt tj sljw ajwf. Jc, N kjt tj swnt`c lhfgs, jmhy." Iut yju'rg jmhy, yju ajf't fgga tj tnkctgf up hfa kgt hll tgfsga. ^ju `hf rglhx. Nt's eust h `jfvgrshtnjf. Nt's eust wjras. Pcg's fjt kjnfk tj tcnfm sjdgtcnfk hijut yju jr sgg yju h `grthnf why tcht's iha hs ljfk hs yjur gfgrky hfa tcg why tcht yju'rg 0;

 

gfkhknfk wntc lnbg hfa tcg why tcht yju'rg gfkhknfk wntc `jfvgrshtnjfs ns brgg jb tcht fgkhtnvnty tcht ns eust yju aj nt nf h why tcht bggls kjja hfa bulbnllnfk hfa nfspnrnfk hfa pgh`gbul tj yju. Qcgrg's fj gkj tj prjtg`t jr nfblhtg jr prgsgrvg. Fj ndhkg tj agbgfa jr prjtg`t. Jfg jb tcg igst phrts jb chvnfk h rglhtnjfscnp h`tuhlly wntc h wjdhf ns tcht nt rgdnfas yju wcht's rghlly rghl hfa wcht's iullscnt. [cgf yju bnfa yjursglb ig`jdnfk agbgfsnvg, hfkry jr whftnfk tj pufnsc cgr, yju bgll jbb trh`m. ^ju ijukct nftj sjdg mnfa jb iullscnt. ^ju dhag sjdgtcnfk jf tcg jutsnag ndpjrthft. ^ju ijukct nftj tcg iglngb tcht yju `hf't ig chppy uflgss yju chvg tcns tcnfk. Nt's yjur rgspjfsninlnty tj kgt yjursglb ih`m jf trh`m. Nt's yjur rgspjfsninlnty tj gfkhkg wntc lnbg nf h why tcht bggls kjja, chppy, hfa bulbnllnfk. Qcg trn`m ns gfkhknfk wntc yjur tcnfmnfk hfa h`tnjfs nf h why tcht bggls kjja, `jdbjrthilg, hfa chppy tj yju. Nt's tcht sndplg. ^ju `cjjsg tcht. Nt's h `cjn`g bjr yju. Qcht's cjw yju gfkhkg wntc lnbg. Qcht's cjw yju gfkhkg wntc tcg djdgfts jb yjur lnbg rnkct fjw. Qcht's cjw yju gfkhkg wntc nt. Nf tcg shdg why, tcg vhlug jb h rglhtnjfscnp bjr cgr ns tcht yju'll `jftnfuhlly rgdnfa cgr cjw tj kgt ih`m jf cgr trh`m wcgrg scg bggls chppy, `jdbjrthilg, hfa kjja wntc cgr lnbg. _hrt jb tcns nfvjlvgs knvnfk cgr sph`g tj ig wcgrg scg ns ht nf tcg djdgft hfa h``gptnfk nt wntcjut fgganfk cgr tj ig sjdg jtcgr why. ^ju'll eust sndply lgt cgr ig hfa kgftly nfvntg cgr nftj igttgr bgglnfks. Pcg'll gntcgr bjlljw yjur kunahf`g hfa bgglnfk igttgr, chppngr hfa djrg jmhy nf tcg djdgft. ^ju'll eust sndply lgt cgr ig hfa kgftly nfvntg cgr nftj igttgr bgglnfks. Nt's eust hf nfvnthtnjf jb whys tcht scg `jula bggl igttgr. Pcg'll gntcgr bjlljw yjur kunahf`g nftj bgglnfk igttgr, chppngr, hfa djrg jmhy nf tcg djdgft jr scg wjf't hfa gntcgr jut`jdg ns bnfg. 03

 

Pjdgtndgs wjdgf whft tj mnfa jb whlljw nf tcg fgkhtnvg gdjtnjfs jr gxpljrg tcg fgkhtnvg gdjtnjfs jr gxpgrngf`g hfa lgt nt ruf tcrjukc tcgd hfa tcht's jmhy. ^ju hrg nfvntnfk cgr tj bgglnfk igttgr. ^ju'rg fjt bjr`nfk cgr tj. ^ju ajf't fgga tj dhmg cgr bggl tcht why. ^ju ajf't fgga tj chvg tcns nagh tcht nb yju ajf't dhmg cgr bggl jmhy tcgf sjdgtcnfk iha ns kjnfk tj chppgf jr yju `hf't ig chppy jr tcg rglhtnjfscnp wnll subbgr. Nt's hijut nfvntnfk cgr tj tcht plh`g iut hlsj ignfk jmhy wntc wcht chppgfs. Qcht's tcg gssgf`g jb wcht krght `jddufn`htnjf ns nf h rglhtnjfscnp hfa sj ljfk hs yju bjlljw tcgsg vgry sndplg kunaglnfgs tcht N eust khvg yju, scg's kjnfk tj sgg yju hs tcg igst `jddufn`htjr scg's gvgr dgt ig`husg yju'rg rghlly kgttnfk tcht gssgf`g rnkct jb `jddufn`htnjf. Nt ajgsf't dghf tcht yju'rg krght wntc wjras. N ajf't `hrg nb yju `hf't strnfk h sgftgf`g tjkgtcgr hfa chvg tcg vj`hiulhry jb h mnfagrkhrtgfgr. Hs ljfk hs yju kgt tcht gssgf`g jb nt tcht nt's eust hijut yju kunanfk cgr ih`m jftj cgr phtc jb bgglnfk kjja hfa `jdbjrthilg hfa chppy nf tcg djdgft tcgf yju'rg h krght `jddufn`htjr. ^ju knvg cgr tcg sph`g tj `jfvgy wcgrg scg's ht. ^ju ajf't fgga tj rusc cgr nftj bgglnfk kjja, lnmg, "Jc Kja tcg iunlanfk ns jf bnrg hfa N fgga tj pull cgr jut jb tcg iunlanfk iurf." Nt's djrg eust lnmg, "Jc jmhy, tcns ns wcht's chppgfnfk. Jmhy, N'd lnstgfnfk," hfa yju eust mnfa jb plhy wntc nt. ^ju'rg jmhy wntc nt. Fjw N whft tj thlm tj yju hijut cjw nt ns tcht yju `hf rghlly sgg aggply nftj h wjdhf, sgg wcht nt ns tcht rghlly djvgs cgr hfa ns dghfnfkbul tj cgr ig`husg jfg jb tcg tcnfks tcht wjdgf hrg ljjmnfk bjr wcgtcgr nt's h kuy tcht tcgy'rg kjnfk tj cjjm up wntc jr h kuy tcht tcgy'rg kjnfk tj chvg h rglhtnjfscnp wntc ns, ajgs cg rghlly sgg cgr: Ajgs cg sgg tcg wjdhf scg ns ufagrfghtc: Fjw, hldjst gvgryjfg nf sj`ngty ns irhnfwhscga nftj iglngvnfk tcht sjdgtcnfk jutsnag jb tcgdsglvgs ns kjnfk tj dhmg tcgd chppy. Nt 0>

 

dnkct ig djfgy jr spg`nhl dhtgrnhl pjssgssnjfs. Nt dnkct ig h spg`nhl rglhtnjfscnp jr ljvg. Nt dnkct ig chvnfk h bhdnly. Nt dnkct ig ighuty jr bntfgss. Nt dnkct ig bhdg, pjpulhrnty jr tj ig sggf h `grthnf why. Nt dhy ig su``gss jr sthtus. Nt dnkct ig h `grthnf typg jb mfjwlgakg jr ufagrsthfanfk jr tcg wjrla. [chtgvgr nt ns, yju'll gvgftuhlly ig`jdg hwhrg jb wcht sjdgtcnfk jr sjdg tcnfks scg's arhwf tjwhras. ^ju'll fjtn`g tcns tcrjukc tcg tcnfks scg's bhs`nfhtga iy, tcg typg jb dusn` scg lnstgfs tj, tcg typg jb QR scjws scg wht`cgs, cjiings scg chs, ijjm scg rghas, suieg`ts scg irnfks up hfa thlms hijut hfa jf hfa jf. Nrjfn`hlly, sjdgtndgs tcgsg hrghs `hf ig tcg rjjt jb cgr krghtgst nfsg`urntngs hfa ufchppnfgss. Qcns chppgfs nf tcg gvgft tcht scg's pursunfk tcgd jut jb bghr tcht scg fggas tcgd tj ig sjdgtcnfk hfa fjt ig`husg scg ljvgs tcg pursunt jb tcgd nf nt jb ntsglb. Gvgf nb scg fgvgr htthnfs tcht sjdgtcnfk, cgr gfejydgft ns nf tcg cgrg hfa fjw. Pj bjr gxhdplg eust tj mnfa jb blgsc tcht jut, nt wjula ig lnmg lgt's shy scg's nftj mfnttnfk. N'd surg sjdgjfg jut tcgrg ns stnll nftj mfnttnfk nftj tcgsg ahys. Pj lgt's shy scg's nftj mfnttnfk. [gll, lgt's shy tcht sjdgcjw scg cha tcg iglngb tcht wjdgf wcj hrg kjja ht mfnttnfk kgt wcht tcgy whft jut jb lnbg hfa tcgy'rg djrg agsnrhilg hfa tcgnr lnbg ns igttgr hfa scg ajgsf't bggl kjja gfjukc ig`husg scg ajgsf't bggl chppy nf cgr lnbg. Hfa scg shys, "Jc, N kjt tj mfnt hfa N kjt tj ig igttgr ht mfnttnfk hfa nb N'd fjt kjja ht mfnttnfk tcgf dy lnbg ns kjnfk tj ig scnt hfa N'd fjt kjnfk tj ig chppy hfa tcht wjdhf jvgr tcgrg ns krght ht mfnttnfk hfa scg sj du`c igttgr tchf dg hfa gvgryijay ljjms ht cgr hfa whfts cgr hfa tcgy ajf't whft dg," hfa hll tcns mnfa jb stubb. Pj scg kgts nftj tcns wcjlg dnfasgt jb lnmg N fgga tj ig kjja ht tcns jr chvg tcns jr kgt sjdgwcgrg wntc tcns ig`husg nt's kjnfk tj dhmg dg chppy. Hfa scg's subbj`htnfk cgrsglb tcg wcjlg tndg hfa tcg 1?

 

pursunt jb nt. Qcgf tcgrg dnkct ig hfjtcgr wjdhf, h wjdhf fgxt tj cgr tcht's eust lnmg, "N ljvg mfnttnfk. N whft tj ig krght ht mfnttnfk. N whft tj ig hilg tj aj djrg `jdpln`htga hfa `jdplgx stnt`cnfk eust ig`husg nt's buf bjr dg hfa nt rglhxgs dg hfa nt's nftgrgstnfk tj dg. [cgf N ajf't bggl lnmg ajnfk nt, N ajf't iut wcgf N aj, N eust bggl arhwf nftj hfa N kgt ljst nf nt. Nt's buf." Qcht's h vgry anbbgrgft why jb gfkhknfk wntc lnbg. [cht yju'vg kjt tj bnkurg jut, jfg jb tcg tcnfks tcht's rghlly kjnfk tj scjw yju wcj h pgrsjf ns, ns fjtn`nfk tcg hrghs wcgrg tcgy'rg subbj`htnfk tcgdsglvgs hfa ruscnfk tjwhras sjdgtcnfk ig`husg tcgy tcnfm nt wnll dhmg tcgd chppy. Jfg jb tcg tcnfks N fjtn`ga h ljt jb wjdgf chvg ns tcgy tcnfm h spg`nhl rglhtnjfscnp jr kgttnfk ljvg hs h `jf`gpt jr kgttnfk dhrrnga hs h `jf`gpt ns kjnfk tj dhmg tcgd chppy. Nt's kjnfk tj dhmg tcgd djrg. Nt's kjnfk tj `jdplgtg tcgd hfa sj tcgy kj tcrjukc tcgnr lnbg subbj`htnfk, wnllnfk tj put up wntc hfy mnfa jb `rhp, kjnfk tcrjukc hfytcnfk eust tj try hfa kgt tcht tntlg, tj try hfa kgt tcht sthtus ig`husg tcgy tcnfm tcht tcnfk wnll dhmg tcgd chppy. Kuys ajf't subbgr brjd tcht nllusnjf hs du`c iut sjdg jb tcgd aj. H ljt jb kuys rghlly aj whft h knrlbrngfa hfa tcgy bggl lnmg nb tcgy  eust kjt h knrlbrngfa jr nb tcgy eust kjt tcht knrl, tcgy whft nt tcgf tcgy'a ig chppy. Nb yju'rg nf tcht, yju prjihily stnll iglngvg tcht jr yju dnkct mnfa jb chvg tcns bgglnfk jb lnmg, "N mfjw nt's prjihily iullscnt iut N stnll whft nt hfywhy. N whft tj bnfa jut bjr dysglb." Jmhy. ^ju `hf phrtn`nphtg nf h phnfbul gxnstgf`g bjr hs ljfk hs yju whft. ^ju'll fhturhlly qunt chvg cha gfjukc phnf, wcgf yju'vg arhfm gfjukc pjnsjf hfa yju rghlnzg tcht nt dhmgs yju sn`m gvgry tndg hfa nt fgvgr bggls kjja hfa wcgf yju'vg cha thstgs jb trug ejy jb eust ignfk chppy nf tcg djdgft, wcgf yju `hf sgg tcht anbbgrgf`g bjr yjursglb, nt's fjt kjnfk tj thmg hfy gbbjrt bjr yju tj hihfajf tcht.

18

 

Iut yju'rg cghrnfk tcns `jursg hfa yju'rg cghrnfk nfbjrdhtnjf nf tcns `jursg tcht rghlly fjijay tcht N mfjw jb chs rghlly thlmga hijut tcns nf h `lghr hfa su``nf`t hfa `jf`rgtg why tcht cjw yju gfkhkg wntc lnbg hfa gfkhknfk wntc lnbg nf h chppy hfa `jdbjrthilg why ns tcg rjjt jb httrh`tnvgfgss, ns tcg `jrg, tcg mgy tj httrh`tnfk tcg mnfa jb wjdgf yju whft hfa kgttnfk tcg mnfa jb rgsults yju whft. Pj nb nt's tcht chra bjr kuys tj bnfa nt, wjdgf cghr hll sjrts jb `rhzy dgsshkgs brjd gvgrywcgrg tcht nt's agsnkfga tj dhmg tcgd bggl nfsg`urg sj tcht tcgy iuy prjau`ts. Nt's nf tcg nftgrgst jb tcg g`jfjdy tj mggp tcnfks tcht why. Pj wjdgf hrg rghlly ljst wcgf nt `jdgs tj tcns stubb jf tcns ahy hfa hkg. Pj nt `hf ig h krght vhlug bjr yju tj rg`jkfnzg tcht hfa `jftnfuhlly sgg cjw yju `hf kunag cgr nftj ignfk chppy nf tcg djdgft, ignfk `jdbjrthilg nf tcg djdgft, pursunfk wcht's nfspnrnfk hfa bulbnllnfk hfa chppy tj cgr nf tcg djdgft. ^jur krghtgst vhlug tj cgr ns bnfanfk cjw yju `hf irnfk tcht nfspnrhtnjf, chppnfgss hfa pgh`g tj cgr pursunt jb wcht nt ns scg's arhwf tj nf cgr lnbg. Pj nb scg's arhwf tj sjdgtcnfk, nt ajgsf't dghf yju'rg arhwf tj tcht tcnfk iut nb yju `hf cglp scjw cgr tcg why tcht scg `hf djvg tjwhras tcht tcnfk nf h why tcht bggls chppy, nfspnrnfk hfa `jdbjrthilg tj cgr, yju ig`jdg hf nf`rganily vhluhilg pgrsjf nf cgr lnbg. Pcg's kjnfk tj whft yju hrjufa bjrgvgr. Hll jb us lnvnfk jur lnvgs sjdgtndgs fgga h rgdnfagr jb cjw tj shy jf tcg phtc tcht bggls chppy, bulbnllnfk hfa pgh`gbul tj us. Qcht ns yjur vhlug tj cgr nf h rglhtnjfscnp, nf h phrtfgrscnp, nf h ljfk-tgrd rglhtnjfscnp, iut nt hlsj kuhrhftggs tcht gvgf nb yju'rg ajnfk sjdgtcnfk hs scjrt tgrd hs h jfg-fnkct sthfa jr h cjjm up jr sjdgtcnfk lnmg tcht, nt kuhrhftggs tcht tcnfks hrg kjnfk tj kj sdjjtcly hfa scg's fjt kjnfk tj chvg iuygr's rgdjrsg nf tcg djrfnfk hfa scg's fjt kjnfk tj rgsnst yju.

19

 

Qcgrg's fjt kjnfk tj ig tcns ink bnkct, hll tcns fgkhtnvg blynfk ih`m hfa bjrtc. Qcht nt's eust kjnfk tj ig tcg sdjjtc, sghdlgss gx`chfkg igtwggf tcg twj jb yju tcht eust klnags rnkct hljfk hfa nt's ghsy hfa yju ijtc chvg buf hfa nt's eust tcjrjukcly gfejyhilg sj nt cglps wntc ljfk-tgrd rglhtnjfscnps bjr hs ljfk hs tcg rglhtnjfscnp kjgs bjr, bjr hs ljfk hs yju whft nt tj kj. Nt hlsj cglps bjr gvgf tcg scjrtgst tgrd blnfks. [cgf yju spghm tj tcht phrt jb cgr, yju'rg spghmnfk tj cgr trug sglb hfa fjt cgr ndhkg jr cgr sj`nhl dhsm. Djst kuys dhmg tcg dnsthmg gspg`nhlly wntc rghlly cjt wjdgf jb thlmnfk tj tcg surbh`g lgvgl stubb. Qcht's wcht tcgy thlm hijut. Qcht's wcht tcgy spghm tj. Qcht's wcht tcgy chvg `jfvgrshtnjfs hijut. Qj tcg wjdhf, tcns bggls ijrnfk, nfsultnfk, hfa `jdplgtgly hwbul. Brjd cgr pgrspg`tnvg, scg tcnfms N wgft tcrjukc hll tcgsg trjuilg tj ljjm ighutnbul hfa tj aj hll tcgsg surbh`g lgvgl tcnfks hfa tcns kuy ajgsf't gvgf sgg dg= cg eust sggs tcg ijay hfa tcg chnr hfa tcg dhmgup, wcht hf hsscjlg, rnkct: Pj h ljt jb kuys wnll thlm hijut, "Jc, yju'rg sj ighutnbul, ilhc, ilhc, ilhc, ilhc, ilhc." Nf nfsthftly, tcgy'rg trynfk tj kgt nftj yjur phfts. Qcgy'rg trynfk tj wjrm us wcgrg tcgy'rg cjpnfk tcht scg hpprg`nhtgs tcg `jdplndgft hfa kgts turfga jf hfa hll tcht mnfa jb stubb. Qcht's wcgrg tcgy whft tj kj wntc nt. Iut nfstgha jb spghmnfk tj sjdgtcnfk tcht's rghlly kjnfk tj djvg cgr aggply wcn`c ns wcgrg h wjdhf ns kjnfk tj kgt rghlly turfga jf ns tcht yju'rg anbbgrgft tcht yju djvg cgr aggply tcht yju chvg tcht gssgf`g tcht yju'rg fjt lnmg tcg jtcgr kuys. Qcjsg kuys hrg trynfk tj spghm tcg surbh`g lgvgl stubb hfa dghfwcnlg yju'rg anbbgrgft. Qcht's wcht dhmgs tcg anbbgrgf`g. [cgf yju thlm hll tcht surbh`glgvgl stubb jr yju rgh`t tj tcht surbh`g- lgvgl stubb jr tcht's tcg lgvgl tcht yju'rg ljjmnfk ht tcnfks brjd, scg's kjnfk tj bggl lnmg scg wgft tcrjukc hll tcns trjuilg tj ljjm ighutnbul hfa yju ajf't fjtn`g wcj scg ns jr spghm tj wcj scg ns hfa scg's kjnfk tj tcnfm yju'rg hf hsscjlg. 10

 

Pj vgry ghsy tj hvjna= nkfjrg tcg surbh`g-lgvgl stubb. Qcht's jfg jb tcg ink sg`rgts jb kuys wcj hrg rghlly kjja wntc wjdgf. Qcgy nkfjrg tcg surbh`g lgvgl stubb. Krhftga tcgy cjjm up wntc tcg cjt knrls, iut tcgy nkfjrg nt. Qcgy ajf't kgt bhs`nfhtga iy nt. Qcgy ajf't rgh`t tj tcg ndhkg jr sj`nhl dhsm. Hlsj, spghmnfk tj tcns snag jb cgr dhmgs cgr bggl du`c djrg ht ghsg, `jdbjrthilg, hfa jpgf wntc yju ig`husg scg mfjws yju'rg spghmnfk tj cgr trug sglb hfa fjt cgr sj`nhl ndhkg tcht fggas tj `jftnfuhlly ig agbgfaga, prjtg`tga, hfa dhnfthnfga. [jdgf, gspg`nhlly gxtrgdgly ighutnbul wjdgf, hrg hll gxchustga ig`husg tcgy bggl lnmg tcgy chvg tj `jfsthftly agbgfa tcgdsglvgs hfa prjtg`t tcgdsglvgs brjd jtcgr pgjplg's hkgfahs jr eghljusy jr cjstnlnty. Ighutnbul wjdgf kgt nt brjd hll hfklgs. Qcgy kgt nt brjd kuys. "Jc, yju'rg ighutnbul," scg nkfjrgs tcgd. "Jc, yju'rg bu`mnfk int`c, bu`m yju, yju su`m." Jr hfjtcgr knrl, 'Jc, ljjm ht cgr, wcht h `uft. Pcg's prjihily h tjthl wcjrg, ilhc, ilhc, ilhc, ilhc, ilhc." Qcgsg wjdgf eust iy vnrtug jb ignfk ighutnbul jb ignfk tcg typg jb wjdgf tcht pgjplg hrg arhwf tj hfa phy httgftnjf tj eust kgt htth`mga ig`husg yju'vg kjt tcgsg jtcgr pgjplg tcht bggl lnmg scg's ignfk ighutnbul ht tcgd. Pcg's dhmnfk tcgd bggl iha hijut tcgdsglvgs. N cghra h buffy tcg jtcgr ahy brjd h bnt wjdhf wcj scg put up h pn`turg jb cgr nf h inmnfn hfa sjdgjfg shna sjdgtcnfk brgsc jf cgr Bh`gijjm ig`husg scg's thlmnfk hijut bntfgss hfa stubb lnmg tcht hfa cnttnfk cgr kjhls. Nt whs mnfa jb ruag tcg why scg shna nt, iut nt whs buffy tj dg. Pcg's lnmg, "Bht pgjplg hrg hlwhys h`tnfk lnmg N'd wjrmnfk jut ht tcgd, lnmg dy bntfgss ns sjdgtcnfk tcht N'd nfbln`tnfk jf tcgd. Ptjp wjrmnfk jut ht dg, stjp ljjmnfk cjt ht dg. Qcht's yju. Qcht's fjt dg. Qcht's nfsnag yju. ^jur rgh`tnjf ns wntcnf yju." Pcg's kjt h kjja pjnft. Pcg's mnfa jb brgsc hijut nt ig`husg N mfjw pgjplg wcj chvg strukklg wntc wgnkct nssugs. N'd fjt tcg typg tj 11

 

lnmg bnrg jut bht `jddgfts hfa stubb lnmg tcht iut nt's lnmg tcg nagh tcht wcgf h ighutnbul wjdhf nsf't rgspjfanfk tj yju h `grthnf why tcht scg's ajnfk sjdgtcnfk ht yju, tcht scg chs h fgkhtnvg nftgft tjwhras yju. Qcht's nfsnag yju, tcht's yjur rgspjfsninlnty tj wnpg tcht jut hfa nt ajgsf't cglp yju. _lus cgrg's hfjtcgr tcnfk tj `jfsnagr, ighutnbul wjdgf hrg sj usga tj pgjplg bj`usnfk jfly jf tcgnr ighuty tcht tcgy chvg hf gxtrgdgly aggp nfsg`urnty. Qcgnr nfsg`urnty ns sjdgtcnfk lnmg tcns, hfa nb yju'vg gvgf iggf `ljsgr tj ighutnbul wjdgf, yju'rg kjnfk tj mfjw gxh`tly wcht N'd thlmnfk hijut cgr. Pcg chs tcns iglngb tcht's lnmg nb gvgryjfg fjtn`gs jfly dy ighuty hfa fgvgr tcg pgrsjf tcht N hd ufagrfghtc tcg ighuty tcgf tcg pgrsjf tcht N hd ufagrfghtc dust chvg fj rghl vhlug. Qcgrgbjrg, nb N gvgr ljsg dy ighuty tcgf N'd kjnfk tj ljsg gvgrytcnfk hfa fjijay ns kjnfk tj phy httgftnjf tj dg, fjijay ns kjnfk tj fjtn`g dg, fj jfg wnll ljvg dg hfa fj jfg wnll `hrg hijut dg. Hfa nb yju'rg rghlly phynfk httgftnjf, tcht dnkct ig sjdgtcnfk tj slnp nftj h `jfvgrshtnjf hijut wcht yju'vg fjtn`ga hijut wcht ighutnbul wjdgf chvg tj put up wntc. Ig`husg N'vg mnfa jb cha `jfvgrshtnjfs wntc wjdgf hijut tcht sjrt jb tcnfk wcgrg N eust whs mnfa jb lnmg thlmnfk hijut cudhfs hfa psy`cjljky hfa stubb lnmg tcht. Hfa N shna sjdgtcnfk hljfk tcjsg lnfgs tj h wjdhf lnmg h rghlly, rghlly cjt knrl hfa scg sthrtga `rynfk tcgf N ruiiga cgr ih`m hfa tcgf wg sthrtga dhmnfk jut hfa tcgf wg cjjmga up sj. Fjt tcht N whft tj put nt lnmg tcns iut jc nt wjrmga. N whsf't trynfk tj wjrm nt N swghr jb nt. Dy pjnft ns nt's lnmg wcgf yju rg`jkfnzg wcht's rghlly kjnfk jf ufagrfghtc bjr tcg wjdgf hfa fjt tcg surbh`g lgvgl iullscnt, yju tju`cga tcgnr sjul hfa fjt jfly ajgs nt turf tcgd jf, iut nt ljwgrs hll tcgnr kuhras. Hfa tcg rghlly ighutnbul wjdgf ig`husg jb tcg why tcht pgjplg rgh`t tj tcgd hfa ig`husg tcg wjrla bggls lnmg scg's ignfk ighutnbul ht tcgd hfa pufnscnfk tcgd sjdgcjw hfa ignfk cjstnlg eust iy 17

 

vnrtug jb cgr ignfk ighutnbul, tcgy gfa up bjrdnfk rghlly thll whlls hfa bgglnfk vgry nsjlhtga hfa hljfg hfa hbrhna hfa dnsufagrstjja. Pj ignfk hilg tj ufagrsthfa tcht hfa gvgf ignfk hilg tj hrtn`ulhtg nf h why eust yju dnkct chppgf tj dgftnjf nt, yju `hf rghlly gfa up rgh`cnfk h wjdhf nf h why tcht fj jtcgr kuys gvgr chs igbjrg gspg`nhlly vgry ighutnbul wjdgf. Pj tcns ns wcy tcns stubb wjrms gvgf igttgr wntc rghlly cjt wjdgf wcn`c ns krght ig`husg nt's ghsy tjj ig`husg yju'rg fjt ajnfk sjdgtcnfk iha. ^ju'rg knvnfk cgr sjdgtcnfk tcht's truly agsnrga wcht scg rghlly whfts. Qcns ns tcg mnfa jb `jddufn`htnjf tcht scg's iggf ljjmnfk bjr cgr wcjlg lnbg tcht fj jtcgr kuy chs hilg tj knvg cgr. Fjw snf`g gvgry wjdhf jr hldjst gvgry wjdhf ns `hrrynfk hrjufa tcns mnfa jb nfsg`urnty tj sjdg gxtgft, wjdgf bggl hs tcjukc tcgy'rg `jfsthftly subbj`htnfk, `jftnfuhlly sghr`cnfk bjr tcht irghtc jb brgsc hnr sj tcht tcgy `hf bnfhlly irghtcg. ^ju `hf ig tcht irghtc jb brgsc hnr tcht scg's iggf sghr`cnfk cgr wcjlg lnbg. Hll yju chvg tj aj ns nkfjrg tcht surbh`g lgvgl stubb hfa bj`us jf jfg tcnfk5 ignfk nf tcg djdgft wntc cgr hfa dhmnfk surg yju'rg ijtc nf h plh`g wcgrg yju bggl chppy, `jdbjrthilg, hfa ht ghsg wntc tcg djdgft. Qcht dghfs fjt phrtn`nphtnfk nf arhdh, wcgtcgr nt's yjurs jr cgrs hfa h`tnfk lnmg nt's h prjilgd tcht fggas tj ig sjlvga. ^ju `hf sndply fjt phrtn`nphtg nf nt hfa jfly bjlljw tcg tcjukcts hfa h`tnjfs tcht bggl kjja, chppy, hfa `jdbjrthilg tj yju hfa nfspnrg tcjsg bgglnfks nf cgr. Qcns hlsj dghfs tcht yju'll fgvgr nftgftnjfhlly aj sjdgtcnfk tcht `rghtgs iha bgglnfks nf cgr ig`husg yju tcnfm nt wnll sjdgcjw hlljw yju tj `jftrjl cgr. ^ju ajf't `jftrjl pgjplg jr chvg pjwgr jvgr pgjplg iy dhmnfk tcgd bggl iha. Qcg jfly why yju `hf gvgr chvg rghl pjwgr nf h rglhtnjfscnp hfa wntc pgjplg nf kgfgrhl ns tj prjvnag h rhrg hfa nrrgplh`ghilg vhlug tj tcgd, h rhrg hfa nrrgplh`ghilg bgglnfk tj tcgd. 12

 

Qcg krghtgst vhlug tcht yju `hf prjvnag tj tcgd ns tj ig tcht `jftnfuhl, gvgr prgsgft sjur`g jb chppnfgss bjr yjursglb. ^jur prgsgf`g wnll hutjdhtn`hlly httrh`t cgr tj yju hfa scg wnll bnfa yju nrrgsnstnily httrh`tnvg nf h why scg `jula fgvgr rgplh`g jr gvgf rghlly ufagrsthfa jr gxplhnf. [cgf yju chvg djej, tcht ns tj shy wcgf yju yjur lnbg nf h why wcgrg yju gfkhkg wntc gvgry djdgft hfa gvgry tcjukct, nf h why tcht bggls chppy, gfejyhilg, nfspnrnfk hfa yju eust gfejy phrtn`nphtnfk nf yjur lnbg fj dhttgr wcht lnbg ns tcrjwnfk ht yju. [cgtcgr lnbg ns bhllnfk hphrt jr yju'rg pursunfk yjur phssnjfs jr yju'rg chvnfk h ina wnfa jr yju'rg eust chvnfk h rghlly hwgsjdg djdgft, fj dhttgr wcht nt ns, wcgf yju'rg gfkhknfk wntc lnbg tcht why, yjur djej eust scnfgs lnmg `rhzy. ^ju ig`jdg lnmg tcg suf. ^ju ig`jdg lnmg tcg suf tcht whrds gvgryijay hrjufa yju hfa wcgf yju'rg fjt tcgrg, tcg wjrla ns `jla hfa pgjplg eust whft tj bggl tcht sufscnfg. Nt's mnfa jb h wgnra why tj put nt iut nt's lnmg pgjplg whft tj ig nf tcg whrdtc jb tcg suf hfa wcgf yju chvg h rghlly pjwgrbul Djej wcgf yju'rg eust gfkhknfk wntc lnbg nf tcht why, yju scnfg gxtrgdgly irnkct. Nt's tcg cghrt jb `chrnsdh. Nt's tcg cghrt jb `chrd. Nt's tcht `grthnf sjdgtcnfk tcht pgjplg shy, "N ajf't mfjw wcht nt ns iut tcgy eust lnmg tcht kuy. N ajf't mfjw wcht nt ns hijut cnd iut cg's eust rghlly cjt. N `hf't put dy bnfkgr jf cnd." Qcht's djej. Qcht's wcht nt ns hfa tcht's hll tcht's chppgfnfk ns tcht tcgy gfkhkg wntc lnbg nf tcg sndplg iut rhrg hfa vgry spg`nhl why. Fjw, rghl wjrla gvnagf`g jb tcg pjwgr jb jfg's hinlnty ns tj sndply dhmg jtcgrs bggl chppy. N whft tj arnvg tcns pjnft cjdg hijut cjw vhluhilg nf dhmnfk jtcgrs chppy hfa dhmnfk pgjplg bggl kjja hrjufa yju ns nf jur sj`ngty. @jdganhfs, h`tjrs hfa dusn`nhfs hrg hdjfk tcg djst cnkcly phna, djst nfblugftnhl hfa djst pjwgrbul dgdigrs jb tjahy's sj`ngty. [cgf yju tcnfm hijut nt, tcgy'rg vgry cnkcly phna. Qcgy'rg cnrga h 1;

 

ljt jb tcg tndg hs spjmgspgjplg hfa phna dnllnjfs jb ajllhrs tj ig nf h `jddgr`nhl bjr 0? sg`jfas jr tj thlm hijut sjdgtcnfk jr tj scjw up sjdgwcgrg hfa thlm jr tj ig nf h djvng jr tcnfks lnmg tcns. Qcgy'rg phna vgry cnkcly ig`husg tcg vhlug jb tcgnr prgsgf`g, tcg why tcgy dhmg pgjplg bggl ns wjrtc dnllnjfs jb ajllhrs nf tgrds jb wcht nt `hf kgfgrhtg bjr tcg pgjplg phynfk tcgd. Pj chvnfk h `jdganhf jr hf h`tjr jr h dusn`nhf aj sjdgtcnfk tj cglp havgrtnsg h sgrvn`g wnll kgt pgjplg's httgftnjf hfa kgfgrhtg tcjsg kjja bgglnfks hfa tcjsg bgglnfks kgt hssj`nhtga wntc tcg prjau`t. Hfa tcgf tcg `ustjdgrs gfa up spgfanfk dnllnjfs djrg ajllhrs tchf tcgy spgfa jf `rghtnfk tcht havgrtnsgdgft jr `jddgr`nhl hfa tcg dusn`nhfs hfa h`tjrs. N whft tj thlm hijut `jdganhfs. Qcnfm hijut tcns, yju kjt h kuy jr h wjdhf, iut `jdgay ns dhnfly ajdnfhtga iy dgf. ^ju kjt h kuy wcj `hf sthfa jf sthkg hfa eust thlm hijut stubb. Cg's eust thlmnfk hfa pgjplg hrg scjwnfk up hfa tcgy'rg phynfk tj eust wht`c h kuy bjr dhyig hf cjur jr twj, sthfa jf sthkg hfa eust thlm hijut stubb. Qcgy bggl kjja wht`cnfk cnd hfa lnstgfnfk tj cnd thlm hijut stubb. Qcnfm hijut plhynfk tcg pgrbjrdnfk prjbgssnjfhl

cjw nf`rganilg tcht ns. Cg ns fjt plhynfk hf nfstrudgft, kunthr lnmg Grn` @lhptjf lgvgl jb gxpgrtnsg. Cg's fjt h`ts hfa bghts jb nf`rganilg htclgtn`nsd lnmg h htclgtg pgrbjrdnfk h jfg-dhf @nrqug au Pjlgnl h`t.

Cg's eust sthfanfk up tcgrg hfa thlmnfk hfa kgttnfk phna dnllnjfs jb ajllhrs bjr nt hfa chvnfk bhfs hll jvgr tcg wjrla hfa chvnfk nfblugf`g hfa chvnfk pgjplg whft cnd hfa bnkct bjr cns httgftnjf. Qcht's `rhzy, iut nt's rghl. Qcg jfly tcnfk tcht's `rhzy hijut nt ns tcht wg ajf't h`tuhlly sgg tcg pjwgr nf tcht. Nt's h kuy sthfanfk jf sthkg hfa ygt pgjplg hrg arhwf tj tcht gfgrky tcht nt irnfks tj nt hfa hll chs tj aj wntc cjw cg gfkhkgs wntc lnbg.

13

 

Fjw cg chs h why jb ph`mhknfk nt hfa puttnfk nt jut tcgrg tcht's hppghlnfk tj pgjplg iut tcht's wcht cg whs arhwf tj aj. Qcht's wcht cg bglt whs djst nfspnrhtnjfhl hfa buf bjr cnd tj aj. ^ju dnkct gfkhkg wntc lnbg nf h why tcht bggls chppy hfa `jdbjrthilg hfa nfspnrnfk tj yju, iut dhyig tcg why tcht yju ph`mhkg nt ns tcht yju'rg kjnfk tj wrntg h ijjm jr dhyig yju'll sthrt h iusnfgss jr dhyig yju'll sthrt h `chrnty jr dhyig yju'll sthrt h bntfgss `lui jr dhyig yju'll sthrt plhynfk hf nfstrudgft hfa yju'll dhmg hdhznfk dusn`. [cj mfjws wcht nt wnll ig bjr yju: ^ju mfjw wcht nt wnll ig bjr yju ig`husg yju eust bggl arhw hfa nfspnrga tj bjlljw `grthnf tcnfks hfa nt eust bggls buf tj phrtn`nphtg nf bjlljwnfk tcht tcnfk. ^ju'rg fjt trynfk tj kgt sjdgwcgrg. Nt eust bggls buf tj aj nt. Qcht's cjw tcg vgry igst, tcg vgry inkkgst, tcg vgry irnkctgst pgjplg nf jur sj`ngty tjahy brjd hll lu`ms jb lnbg kjt tcgrg. Nt eust bglt rnkct. Nt eust bglt buf nf tcg djdgft tj pursug hfa aj wcht nt ns tcht tcgy'rg ajnfk. [cgf yju chvg tcg hinlnty tj dhmg pgjplg chppy, yju'rg thppnfk nftj tcht shdg pjwgr hfa hll nt thmgs ns eust ignfk nf tcg chint jb gfkhknfk wntc gvgry djdgft nf h why tcht bggls chppy, `jdbjrthilg hfa nfspnrnfk tj yju. Fjw tcgrg hrg sjdg tcnfks tcht wjdgf hrg `jfsthftly thlmnfk hijut tcht tcgy whft brjd h kuy jr tcht tcgy'rg ljjmnfk bjr brjd h kuy hfa sjdg jb tcgd dnkct thmg tcg bjrd jb snkfhls nb tcht wjdgf hrg ljjmnfk bjr hfa tcgy'rg agspgrhtgly whftnfk tcht tj ig tcgrg wntc tcg kuy tcgy'rg wntc hfa N'd kjnfk tj scjw yju gxh`tly wcht tcgsg tcnfks h`tuhlly hrg hfa cjw tj kgt tcgd h`rjss fj dhttgr wcht mnfa jb kuy yju hrg. N ajf't `hrg nb yju'rg h `jdputgr prjkrhddgr, h prjbgssnjfhl htclgtg, h dusn`nhf, hf h``jufthft, h `lgrkydhf, N ajf't `hrg. Qcgsg supplngs h`rjss tcg ijhra hfa hfy dhf `hf aj tcgsg tcnfks hfa uflj`m nt ig`husg N'd kjnfk tj scjw yju tcg sndplg why tj aj nt. 1>

 

Fjw wjdgf chvg thlmga hijut tcnfks tcht tcgy whft nf h dhf iut nt h`tuhlly hll bljws brjd tcg shdg rjjt httrh`tnvgfgss, djej. [gll, cgrg hrg tcg bjur tcnfks wjdgf hrg `jfsthftly s`hffnfk bjr hfa cjw haargssnfk yjur `jrg httrh`tnvgfgss, yjur `jrg djej thmgs `hrg jb hll jb tcgd. Jmhy, `jfbnagf`g. ^ju cghr wjdgf thlm hijut, "Jc, N whft h kuy wcj's `jfbnagft." ^ju mfjw wcht `jfbnagf`g rghlly ns: Nt's eust sndply cns chint jb phrtn`nphtnfk nf tcjukcts hfa h`tnjfs tcht bggl kjja, `jdbjrthilg, hfa chppy wntc tcgd. @jfbnagf`g rghlly ns dhag up djstly jb wcht h kuy ajgsf't aj. [cgf h kuy ns `jfbnagft, cg ajgsf't kgt tcrjwf jbb cns khdg. Cg ajgsf't kgt tcrjwf jbb trh`m. Hfjtcgr pgrsjf ajgsf't hbbg`t cnd jr tcrjw cnd jbb cns trh`m jr aj sjdgtcnfk tcht dhmgs cnd bggl iha hfa cg `hf't kgt ih`m tj tcht kjja plh`g ig`husg cg's fjt ljjmnfk tj jtcgrs jr tj sntuhtnjfs jr `nr`udsthf`gs jr kgttnfk sjdgwcgrg tj dhmg tcgd chppy. Cg's nf tcg chint jb gfkhknfk wntc gvgry djdgft, gvgrytcnfk tcht's nf brjft jb cnd nf h why tcht bggls chppy hfa `jdbjrthilg. Qcht jf tcg surbh`g ljjms lnmg gxtrgdg `jfbnagf`g, tcg cnkcgst lgvgl jb `jfbnagf`g. Hfa N ajf't `hrg nb yju'rg h ink iurly dus`lg dhf jr h smnffy, thll, lhfmy wcntg kuy lnmg dg jr yju'rg h scjrt kuy jr yju'rg h ihla kuy jr h bht kuy jr yju'rg tcns kuy jr tcht kuy. Nt ajgsf't dhttgr. Qcht ns tcg rjjt jb `jfbnagf`g. Qcht's wcht dhmgs yju `jfbnagft. Nt's tcht why jb gfkhknfk wntc lnbg nf h why tcht eust bggls chppy hfa `jdbjrthilg hfa nt's hijut yju dhmnfk tcg `cjn`g tj gfkhkg wntc hll tcg djdgfts nf tcht why. Lgt's thlm hijut cudjr. [jdgf thlm hijut cudjr hfa tcgy ljvg cudjr. Qcg tcnfk ns tcg kuys wcj chvg krght cudjr brjd tcg vngwpjnft jb wjdgf, tcgrg'rg hll anbbgrgft mnfas jb cudjrs. Egrry Pgnfbgla, @crns Yj`m, vgry buffy, tcgy'rg ijtc vgry buffy. Dhyig yju tcnfm tcgy'rg buffy. Dhyig yju ajf't iut tcgy'rg vgry anbbgrgft `jdganhfs iut tcgy ijtc chvg tcg rjjt jb buffy. Hll jb us chvg buffy nfsnag jb us. Hll jb us chvg cudjr nfsnag jb us. [cht nt `jdgs 7?

 

brjd ns tcg kuy rghlnzgs tcg buffy kuy, tcg kuy wcj chs cudjr= cg rghlnzgs tcht cns chppnfgss nsf't ihsga jf tcg sntuhtnjfs hfa `nr`udsthf`gs jb tcg jutsnag wjrla iut rhtcgr cjw cg gfkhkgs wntc tcg jutsnag wjrla. Cg chs buf wntc nt. Cg chs buf wntc cjw cg gfkhkgs wntc tcg jutsnag wjrla. Cg chs buf wntc wcht's kjnfk jf. Cg ajgsf't fgga tcnfks tj ig h `grthnf why. Cg eust gxpgrngf`gs lnbg hfa cg thlms hijut nt hfa chs buf wntc tcg why tcht tcnfks h`tuhlly hrg nf tcg why cg thlms hijut nt jr nf tcg why cg rgspjfas tj nt ig`husg nt ns tcg why nt ns. Cg ajgsf't thmg cndsglb jr hfytcnfk tjj sgrnjusly. Cg chs fj ndhkg tj prjtg`t jr prjeg`t. Cg eust gfejys cndsglb. Fjw strgfktc, strgfktc ns hfjtcgr quhlnty tcht wjdgf shy tcht tcgy whft nf h dhf. [gll, lgt's rghlly thlm hijut wcht rghl trug dhs`ulnfg strgfktc ns ig`husg nt's fjt ink dus`lgs. N'vg sggf kuys wcj wghr ink dus`lgs lnmg nt's h argss bjr dgf, iut tcgy chvg fj strgfktc. Qcgy eust chvg dus`lgs hfa nt's eust hfjtcgr httrniutg, eust lnmg tcgnr chnr`ut jr tcg `ljtcgs tcgy wghr jr hfytcnfk lnmg tcht. Nt's fjt rghlly strgfktc. H dhf chs strgfktc snf`g cg mfjws nf h aggp lgvgl cg ns jmhy, hfa cg'll hlwhys ig jmhy ig`husg cg `hf rglhx hfa eust chfalg lnbg hs nt `jdgs up. Ptrgfktc nsf't hijut ajdnfhtnfk jtcgrs, bnkctnfk jr prjvnfk yjursglb. N'll shy nt hkhnf= strgfktc nsf't hijut ajdnfhtnfk jtcgrs, bnkctnfk jtcgrs jr prjvnfk yjursglb. Ptrgfktc ns sndply hijut cjw du`c yju trust tcht nb hfytcnfk `jdgs up, yju'll sndply chfalg nt hfa yju'rg kjnfk tj ig jmhy hfa wcgf nt's jvgr wntc, nt's jvgr wntc. Nt ajgsf't dghf hfytcnfk hijut yju hfa yju chvg fjtcnfk tj prjvg. ^ju sndply lnvg gh`c djdgft hfa chfalg wchtgvgr tcg djdgft `hlls bjr wntcjut rgsnsthf`g jr fgkhtnvnty, h mnfafgss hfa pgjplg wcj hrg truly sg`urg hfa chppy jf tcg nfsnag whft tj irnfk jtcgrs up. 78

 

Pj mnfafgss ns hfjtcgr httrniutg tcht rghlly wjdgf whft nf tcg kuy tcgy'rg wntc. Qcgy ajf't whft mnfafgss nf tcg hisgf`g jb strgfktc. ^ju cghr jvgr hfa jvgr hkhnf tcns nagh wcgrg wjdgf whft egrms hfa fn`g kuys bnfnsc lhst hfa tcgrg's lnmg tcns ink, stupna ihttlg jb lnmg fn`g kuy vgrsus egrm. Qcg bh`t ns wcht rghlly `jfstntutgs ufagsnrhilg why, tcgrg's fjtcnfk [cht nt ns, ns h kuy wcj ns hbrhna cg bggls wnll dhmg cnd chppy hfa tj try hfa wnf tcg knrl's hbbg`tnjf.

h fn`g kuy hs nt's ags`rniga nf hf rghlly fn`g hijut tcht fn`g kuy. jb s`rgwnfk up tcg sntuhtnjf tcht sj cg ajgs hfytcnfk nf cns pjwgr

Nt `jdgs ih`m tj tcht bufahdgfthl nagh jb lnmg N'd kjnfk tj subbj`htg dysglb, hfa N'd kjnfk tj aj hfytcnfk tj try hfa kgt tcns rghlnty jr tj dhmg tcns tcnfk chppgf jr tj kgt sjdgwcgrg ig`husg tcgf N'll ig chppy tcgf N'll ig ht pgh`g, tcgf N'll ig djrg dysglb. Iut nb N ajf't kgt nt, N'll ig lhst, N'll ig ljsnfk, N'll ig h ljsgr, N'll ig ufchppy. Nt's tcg fn`g kuys hrg kuys wcj hrg rghlly aggp nftj tcht lnfg jb tcnfmnfk hfa sj tcgy'rg hbrhna jb ljsnfk. Qcgy chvg hf nftgfsg bghr jb ljss tcht `husgs tcgd tj h`t nf hfy sjrt jb fhturhl why, hfa tcgy  eust `jfsthftly hnd tj plghsg hfa gvgryjfg wcj rj`m tcg ijht ig`husg tcgy'rg hbrhna jb s`rgwnfk nt up. Qcgy ajf't sjur`g tcgnr chppnfgss nftgrfhlly. Qcgy tcnfm tcht chppnfgss `jdgs brjd kgttnfk tcnfks jr h`cngvnfk tcnfks jf tcg jutsnag. Pj mnfafgss ns anbbgrgft. Mnfafgss ns fjt hijut ignfk h fn`g kuy. Qcg strjfkgst, djst su``gssbul, djst pjpulhr, djst wgll lnmga kuys chvg mnfafgss hfa yju'll jisgrvg tcns. ^ju'll sgg djvngs hfa QR scjws wntc stupna jifjxnjus `chrh`tgrs tcht hrg egrms hfa hsscjlgs tcht hrgf't mnfa iut tcht's QR hfa djvngs, tcht's fjt rghlnty. Yghlnty ns tcht wjdgf rghlly aj whft h kuy wcjsg mnfa.

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[gll, h`tuhlly djrg spg`nbn`hlly tcgy whft h kuy wcjsg mnfa tj tcgd. Pj nb h kuy ns h egrm hfa hf hsscjlg, iut cg ns truly mnfa tj tcht wjdhf tcht cg ns wntc, scg's jmhy wntc tcht. Pj tcgrg's sjdg tj tcg trutc hsscjlg `chrh`tgr nf sj bhr nb cg's mnfa tj tcg wjdhf cg's wntc. Pj hkhnf, N'll shy nt hkhnf. _gjplg wcj hrg truly sg`urg hfa chppy jf tcg nfsnag whft tj irnfk jtcgrs up. Qcgy gfejy kunanfk jtcgr pgjplg hfa bgglnfk kjja hijut tcgdsglvgs wcn`c ns h`tuhlly jfg jb tcg djst nfblugftnhl snkfs jb pjwgr. Lgt's thlm hijut ijay lhfkuhkg bjr h djdgft. Fjw, h ljt jb kuys kgt igft jut h schpg hijut, "Jc, aj N chvg kjja ijay lhfkuhkg: Ns dy ijay lhfkuhkg kjja: [cht's kjja ijay lhfkuhkg: [cht's tcg ijay lhfkuhkg tcht turfs wjdgf jf, hll tcns mnfa jb stubb:" Pj lgt's thlm hijut ijay lhfkuhkg snkfhls brjd cgr hfa wcht kjja ijay lhfkuhkgs bjr yju. N whft yju tj phy rghlly `ljsg httgftnjf ig`husg jf`g yju cghr tcns, yju'll fgvgr fgga hfjtcgr ijay lhfkuhkg `jursg jr pgjplg tj tgll yju ndhknfg tcht tcgrg ns h rja ruffnfk up tcg `gftgr jb yjur spnfg hfa gvgrytcnfk ns eust ilhc, ilhc, ilhc, ilhc, yju mfjw. N chtga tcht stubb. Nt fgvgr cglpga dg. Nt dhag dg djrg stnbb hfa rnkna hfa ljjms rnan`uljus, sj audp hll tcht ijay lhfkuhkg stubb hfa  eust lnstgf tj dg. Qcns ns kjnfk tj dhmg nt why ghsngr bjr yju. ^ju chvg hwgsjdg ijay lhfkuhkg jf`g yju lnstgf tj yjur gdjtnjfs hfa ijay hs tcg snkfhl jb wcht yju'rg tcnfmnfk ns lnmg. Pj wcht N'vg iggf thlmnfk hijut igbjrg tcht yjur chppnfgss ns yjur ijay hfa yjur dnfa lgttnfk yju mfjw tcht yju'rg fjt `cjjsnfk tcg igst phtc hfa tcht wcgf yju bggl chppy hfa wcgf yju bggl rglhx hfa ht pgh`g hfa ht ghsg, tcht yjur ijay ns shynfk, "Cgy, yju'rg jf tcg rnkct trh`m, mggp kjnfk. Qcns ns kjja. Qcns ns wcgrg yju'rg dghft tj ig." Lnstgf tj yjur ijay. [cgf yju hrg bgglnfk uptnkct, wcgf yju'rg bgglnfk strgssga, wcgf yju'rg bgglnfk fgrvjus, wcgf yju'rg bgglnfk 70

 

bghr, nt's h snkfhl bjr yjur ijay s`rghdnfk ht yju tj shy, "Cgy, audp tcg lnfg jb tcjukct yju'rg jf, audp nt. Kgt rna jb nt. Nt's fjt sgrvnfk yju. Nt's kjnfk tj irnfk yju h iha plh`g." Pj fjw tcht yju'vg rghlnzga tcht, nt's kjnfk tj ig vgry qun`mly kgt yju tj h plh`g wcgrg yju'rg kjnfk tj kj rglhx `jfsthftly nftj tcg plh`g wcgrg yju'rg kjnfk tj eust tcnfm ajwf lnfgs jb tcjukct tcht bggl kjja tj yju tcht bggl chppy tcht bggl rglhxga. Dhmg h khdg tj gfejy bgglnfk ljsg hfa rglhx, fjt egrmy jr tnkct jr cjlanfk yjur irghtc. [cgf yju bggl egrmy jr tnkct jr cjlanfk yjur irghtc, tcht's h snkf tcht yju'rg jf tcg wrjfk trh`m sj whmg up hfa rglhx. Kj ih`m tj tcht plh`g, thmg twj tj bnvg sg`jfas wcgrg yju kj tj tcg plh`g wcgrg yju'rg sggnfk wcht's nf brjft jb yju bjr tcg bnrst tndg hfa cghrnfk sjufas hs nb yju'rg cghrnfk nt bjr tcg bnrst tndg. Bgglnfk wcht h irghtc bggls lnmg, bgglnfk wcht nt bggls lnmg yju'rg nf yjur ijay. Bgglnfk tcg sgfshtnjf jb yjur ijay hs nb yju'rg bgglnfk nt bjr tcg bnrst tndg, thmg twj tj bnvg sg`jfas hfa eust rglhx nftj tcht wcgfgvgr yju fjtn`g tcht yju'rg bgglnfk egrmy jr tnkct jr cjlanfk yjur irghtc jr bgglnfk ufplghshft bgglnfks. Qcht's wcht N `hll yjur dgfthl rgsgt iuttjf. [cgf yju hihfajf tcnfmnfk tcht bggls iha hfa yju eust pusc tcht rgsgt iuttjf, yjur ijay lhfkuhkg dhssnvgly ndprjvgs. Iha ijay lhfkuhkg ns hlwhys eust wcht tgfsnjf hfa strgss hfa fgkhtnvg bgglnfks ljjm lnmg nf yjur ijay. Qcht's hll iha ijay lhfkuhkg gvgr ns nt's eust wcgf nt ljjms tcht why. Jpgf, wnag, `jdbjrthilg ijay lhfkuhkg ns nf hf nftgrgstnfk tcnfk. Fjt jfly ns nt h snkf tcht yju'rg `jdbjrthilg tcht yju'rg chvnfk kjja bgglnfks iut nt hlsj ijjsts tgstjstgrjfg. Qcgrg ns h stuay. Qcgy wjula snt tcgd nf hf jpgf, wnag, `jdbjrthilg ijay lhfkuhkg pjsntnjf hfa tcgf dghsurg tcgnr tgstjstgrjfg igbjrg hfa hbtgr, snttnfk tcgd nf tcht pjsntnjf. Qcgy sht tcgd nf tcht pjsntnjf bjr lnmg 71

 

twj dnfutgs hfa nt ijjstga tcgnr tgstjstgrjfg wcgf tcgy'rg nf tcht wnag jpgf `jdbjrthilg ijay lhfkuhkg pjsntnjf. Qcgy hlsj ana h stuay wcgrg tcgy put pgjplg nf tnkct, `jllhpsg, uf`jdbjrthilg ijay lhfkuhkg hfa tcgy sht tcgd tcht why bjr h `juplg jb dnfutgs hfa tcgy bjufa tcht nt ljwgrga tgstjstgrjfg. Qcnfm cjw pjwgrbul tcht ns. Qgstjstgrjfg rghlly chs h pjwgrbul gbbg`t jf yjur djja hfa tcg why tcht yju bggl hfa wcgf yju `hf bnfa tcnfks tcht ijjst yjur tgstjstgrjfg, nt cglps. Nt cglps. Hfa wcgf yju `hf glndnfhtg tcnfks tcht ljwgr yjur tgstjstgrjfg, tcht cglps. Qcht's pjwgrbul, eust tcg why tcht yju'rg snttnfk jr tcg why yju'rg sthfanfk jr cjlanfk yjursglb jr tcg ultndhtg sjlutnjf tj tcns nsf't hijut trynfk tj bjr`g yjur ijay nftj lnmg tcgsg pjsntnjfs. N mfgw tcns jfg kuy wcj's stuaynfk ijay lhfkuhkg. N bglt iha bjr tcns mna. Cg's prjihily 9? yghrs jla, rghanfk hll sjrts jb stubb jf tcg Nftgrfgt hijut cjw tj pn`m up wjdgf hfa cg rgha tcht chvnfk ink wnag jpgf ijay lhfkuhkg whs h turf jf bjr wjdgf hfa nt dhag yju hppghr `jfbnagft. Pj tcns kuy sht ajwf hfa cg ana cns hisjlutg igst sprgha jut hs wnag hs cg `jula. Cg cha jfg hrd jf hll tcg why tj tcg lgbt snag jf tjp jb tcg sghts fgxt tj cnd hfa tcg jtcgr hll tcg why hs bhr hs jut brjd cns ijay hs cg `jula kgt hfa cns lgks wgrg jut nf brjft jb cnd hfa cg ljjmga lnmg h bu`mnfk cudhf sthrbnsc. Cg ljjmga rnan`uljus hfa cg ljjmga vgry uf`jdbjrthilg iut cg whs trynfk sj chra ig`husg N kjt tj kgt tcg kjja ijay lhfkuhkg hfa tcgf N'll ig chppy ig`husg N'll kgt gvgrytcnfk N whft. Fjw, yju `hf rgha hll tcns scnt jf tcg Nftgrfgt hijut kjja ijay lhfkuhkg hfa dhmg yjursglb vgry uf`jdbjrthilg trynfk tj prgtgfa yju chvg `jfbnagf`g hfa chvg kjja ijay lhfkuhkg jr yju `hf thp nftj tcg trug gssgf`g jb nt hfa tcg trug gssgf`g jb nt ns tj h`tuhlly ig chppy, nfspnrga hfa ht pgh`g nfsnag yjur ijay. Hfa wcgf yju fjtn`g tcht sjdgtcnfk `jdgs up nf yjur ijay, yju kgt rna jb nt. ^ju rglhx jut jb nt. 77

 

Qcht's h cukg sg`rgt. ^jur ijay hfa cjw yju bggl nf yjur ijay ns fjw kjnfk tj ig`jdg jfg jb yjur krghtgst hssgts tj kgttnfk yjur Djej uflj`mga. ^jur ijay mfjws gxh`tly cjw tj uflj`m yjur Djej hfa hll yju kjt tj aj ns lnstgf tj yjur ijay, thp nftj tcht, aj bjlljw tcg phtc tcht bggls chppy hfa `jdbjrthilg tj yju nf tcg djdgft. Ajf't wjrry hijut tcg buturg. Ajf't wjrry hijut nb wcht yju'rg ajnfk ns `jjl jr sj`nhlly h``gpthilg jr rnkct. Ajf't `jddnt hfy `rndgs jr sjdgtcnfk. Ajf't aj hfytcnfk rnan`uljus. Ajf't aj aruks jr sjdgtcnfk stupna. N usga tj tcnfm tcht wjdgf wgrgf't httrh`tga tj kuys wcj plhy vnagj khdgs sj bjr yghrs, N whsf't plhynfk vnagj khdgs ig`husg N whs lnmg, "[gll, N ajf't whft tj phrtn`nphtg nf tcht lnbg ig`husg N'd hlrghay fjt kgttnfk tcg mnfa jb wjdgf N whft hfa tcgf N ajf't whft tj gvgf lhygr jf tcnfks tcht dhmg wjdgf fjt httrh`tga." Fjw N plhy vnagj khdgs lnmg h djtcgrbu`mgr. N plhy vnagj khdgs rnkct nf brjft jb tcht knrl wcnlg scg's fhmga jf dy `ju`c. N ajf't `hrg hfa scg gfejys nt. Pcg lnmgs dg ignfk chppy. Pcg lnmgs ignfk hrjufa tcht gfgrky. Pj nt's h ink scnbt. Nt's fjt hijut ignfk tcns ndhkg jr sjdgtcnfk lnmg tcht. Nt's hijut thppnfk nftj tcht gfgrky, tcht `hld, rglhxga, `jdbjrthilg gfgrky. N usga tj tcnfm tcht nb N h`tga wgnra jr ajrmy jr schrga tcg mnfa jb fgray stubb tcht N whs nftj tcht nt wjula ig h turf jbb tj tcg wjdhf. Fjw N ajf't `hrg hijut tcht mnfa jb stubb. N gfejy nt ig`husg nt dhmgs dg chppy hfa hkhnf scg lnmgs sggnfk dg chppy. Pcg dnkct ejmg hfa `hll dg h fgra jr h ajrm jr tcnfks lnmg tcht iut scg's hlsj turfga jf. Pcg's hlsj gfejynfk dg hfa scg hlsj lnmgs cjw N hd nf tcjsg djdgfts sj nt's hijut thppnfk hfa tcgf `jffg`tnfk wntc tcht gfgrky hfa yju'rg kjnfk tj chvg tcns hdhznfk ijay lhfkuhkg wcgf yju thp nftj nt.

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Pj N whft tj sghl tcns up wntc h tcjukct hijut fn`g kuys vgrsus  egrms hfa N whft tj t j knvg yju h fgw why jb ljjmnfk ht tcnfks. Ignfk h fn`g kuy jr h egrm ns ijtc tcg ljsnfk phtc. Ndhknfg ijwlnfk hfa yju `hf rjll tcg ijwlnfk ihlls sdjjtcly ajwf tcg dnaalg lhfg iut tcgrg'rg kuttgrs jf gntcgr snags. Qcgrg's tcg fn`g kuy kuttgr jf jfg snag hfa tcgrg's tcg egrm kuttgr jf tcg jtcgr snag iut sdjjtcly rjllnfk ajwf tcg hllgy hfa mfj`mnfk jf hll tcg pnfs nf jfg sdjjtc swggpnfk djtnjf. Qcht ns ignfk tcg kjja kuy. Pj lgt's thlm hijut wcht tcg anbbgrgf`g ns igtwggf tcg fn`g kuy jr tcg egrm hfa tcg kjja kuy. Qcg fn`g kuy h`ts h `grthnf why jut jb bghr hfa hkgfah hfa tcht's wcy cg turfs wjdgf jbb. Qcg egrm h`ts h `grthnf why ig`husg jb bghr hfa hkgfah dhfnbgstnfk nf h anbbgrgft why. Ijtc kuys chvg bghr, ijtc kuys chvg hkgfah, iut nt dhfnbgsts nftj twj anbbgrgft whys hfa nt turfs wjdgf jbb nf twj anbbgrgft whys. Qcg kjja kuy ufagrsthfas tcg `jrg jb httrh`tnvgfgss hs hlrghay thmgf `hrg jb. Nt's hlrghay thmgf `hrg jb. Cg's thppnfk nftj nt. Cg's kjt djej. Cg hlrghay ufagrsthfas nt's thmgf `hrg jb. Pj cg ajgsf't fgga tj h`t h `grthnf why jr prjeg`t h `grthnf ndhkg. Cg ajgsf't fgga tcnfks tj ig h `grthnf why nf jragr tj ig chppy jr tj bggl ht ghsg jr tj bggl `jdbjrthilg. Cg eust sndply thps nftj tcg tcjukcts hfa tcg h`tnjfs hfa tcg bgglnfks hfa tcg why jb lnvnfk cns lnbg tcht bggls kjja, chppy, `jdbjrthilg, hfa nfspnrnfk tj cnd hfa tcht's cjw cg lnvgs. Pj tcht's tcg bnfhl fjtg jb tcns djaulg jb tcns `jursg tcht ns yju whft tj ig tcg kjja kuy. Ig tcg kjja kuy hfa yju'rg kjnfk tj chvg yjur dnfa iljwf ht cjw du`c djrg httrh`tnvg yju hrg tj wjdgf.

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