Mode One Collection of Posts #2 - Alan Roger Currie
April 14, 2017 | Author: lateralus09 | Category: N/A
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Mode One Posts Collection #2
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Glenn Johnson's interview of Alan Roger Currie and the Mode One Principles If I've said this once, I've said it a dozen times .... Rejection and/or harsh criticism is not failure, and therefore is not a valid basis for disappointment or frustration; Rejection and/or harsh criticism is not failure, and therefore is not a valid basis for disappointment or frustration; Rejection and/or harsh criticism is not failure, and therefore is not a valid basis for disappointment or frustration; Rejection and/or harsh criticism is not failure, and therefore is not a valid basis for disappointment or frustration; Rejection and/or harsh criticism is not failure, and therefore is not a valid basis for disappointment or frustration; Rejection and/or harsh criticism is not failure, and therefore is not a valid basis for disappointment or frustration; See ... I just said it a half-dozen more times. The problem I see with many on this board is that some of you put "too much" emphasis on receiving a positive, enthusiastic, and/or reciprocal response from women. With Mode One Behavior, you can't do that. If you do, you're setting yourself up for frustration in the future. When I'm Mode One with women, I really don't concentrate on the potential responses from women and/or results I achieve. Why? Because for the most part, those factors are out of my [direct] control. I only concentrate on these 2-3 things: 1) What is my primary objective with this woman? Why am I talking to her in the first place? Do I want to potentially date her? Do I just want a one-night stand and/or a weekend fling? The more you know what you want from a woman, the more specific you can be in your approach; If your desires at this point are in the "undecided" category, then leave your approach more 'general'. 2) Now that I know what my objective is for speaking with this woman, how am I going to express my desires, interests, and intentions to her? Am I going to be bashful? Beat-around-thebush? Or am I going to express my thoughts in a highly self-assured, bold, upfront and straightforward manner??
If you're Mode One, the obvious answer is the latter. 3) If this woman decides to harshly criticize me for being so 'forward' and truthful with my thoughts, am I going to 'back down' and apologize? If she rejects me, am I going to behave in an angry and/or defensive manner?? Hell no. If she doesn't like my approach, or the manner in which I express myself ... SO FU**ING WHAT. That's HER problem ... not mine. Remember this: 99.9% of the time, Rejection is WIN-WIN. Why? Because ... a) if a woman rejects you because you're simply 'not her type', or she is just genuinely not interested in you .... then that is a 'win' because you didn't waste time or invest money pursuing a woman's companionship when it wasn't really going to lead to anything productive or enjoyable; b) if a woman rejects you, and deep-down, you ARE her type, and she DOES have some degree of interest in you ... then I would be willing to bet money that at some point in the future .... either a few minutes after her initial rejection .... a few hours ... a few days .... or even in some cases, a few weeks and/or months later .... that SAME WOMAN is going to start THINKING ABOUT YOU and DESIRING YOUR COMPANIONSHIP. Never take rejection on FACE VALUE. I've had women harshly criticize me at 10pm only to be sucking my dick at 11:30pm. I've had women harshly reject me in late December, only to be exchanging orgasms with that same woman in early-to-mid April of the next year. Just concentrate on being MODE ONE. If your desires, interests and intentions are reciprocated immediately .... then that's great. Gold star for you. But in the event that they're not ... don't allow yourself to come across as 'desperate' or 'impatient.' Both are SEDUCTION KILLERS. Hope this helps.... What I usually do is keep trying to 'close the deal' to the point where she does one of two things: a) Gives in to my desires and interests .... or b) Communicates to me that she's not interested in spending time with me in a romantic and/or sexual manner
If the response is "B," leave that woman alone. Immediately. Just let it go. All you can do is lay your desires, interests, and intentions on the table. After that, the ball is ... for the most part ... in her court. I believe in order to have a long-lasting, monogamous, romantic relationship with a woman that involves sex ... yes ... a woman does have to have a "genuine connection" with you. But for strictly casual sex?? One-night stand? Weekend Fling? Indefinite Casual Sex? Friends with Benefits?? Not really. The vast majority of women who I've had casual sex with, I didn't have any "meaningful connection" with. I just knew WHAT TO SAY, and WHEN TO SAY IT in order to get that woman's pussy wet. Once you get a woman's pussy wet, you can pretty much have your way with a woman when it comes to casual sex. But as I've repeated time and time again ... having sex with a woman should never be your sole and specific goal when you're exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Once you make having sex with a woman your ONLY priority, and your only specific objective, it will cause you to want to prevent and/or avoid rejection and harsh criticism, which would defeat the whole purpose of being Mode One in the first place. Just concentrate on expressing your romantic and/or sexual desires to women in the most highly self-assured, upfront, and straight-to-the-point manner as possible ... and let the results take care of themselves. As much as I love this "message board interaction" and sharing of wisdom, the bottom line is, you have to go out "in the field" and spend days, weeks, and months just being MODE ONE. I didn't get Mode One Behavior down in 6-8 weeks. Hell, I didn't even master Mode One Behavior in 6-8 months. It took me at least three-to-five years before I had Mode One Behavior down pat. Why does it take so long for some men? Because you can't go from having "no balls" to having "big ass balls" overnight. It just won't happen. You have to get to a point where you become almost totally immune to harsh criticism and/or abrupt rejection. As long as those two things negatively affect you to some degree, you'll never be truly Mode One. Never. I don't believe in saying things to a woman simply because I believe that's what she "wants to hear." But ... at the same time ... if you've seen my matrix in my book, you'll see how I divided each mode: Mode One: What Women typically WANT TO HEAR, but DON'T EXPECT TO HEAR (i.e., blunt, bold, straightforward, unapologetic truth)
Mode Two: What Women typically WANT TO HEAR, but also EXPECT TO HEAR (i.e., conversation that is pleasant, flattering, conventional, cautious, 'beat-around-the-bush') Mode Three: What Women typically DON'T WANT TO HEAR, but generally EXPECT TO HEAR (i.e., conversation that is disingenuous, phony, wimpy, fawning, duplicitous) Mode Four: What Women typically DON'T WANT TO HEAR, and they also DON'T EXPECT TO HEAR (i.e., conversation that is insulting, misogynistic, harshly critical, vindictive, resentful, bitter) Of course you can exhibit Mode One Behavior via the Internet, or over-the-phone, or any other form of interpersonal communication. As I've gotten older, and matured, I tend to shy away from women who are already in relationships. Those are the women who actually will be the most aggressive with you. Women who have boyfriends will actually STALK YOU (seriously ... no joke). I don't like "Drama." The scenario I've used on many message boards and blogs ... including this one at least two or three times ... that best allows you to see the true value of Mode One Behavior VS Mode Two and/or Mode Three, is what I refer to as the "Hotel Floor Scenario." 1) Let's say you have only ONE HOUR to have conversation with FIVE (5) WOMEN. No less than that, No more than that. ONE HOUR. 2) All five women are in a different Hotel room on the same hotel floor. 3) Each woman has different objectives .... and that's the "catch" for you. You'll have about 11 minutes to figure out WHAT WOMAN goes with WHAT OBJECTIVE. Woman "A": Interested in a dating relationship with you that will potentially lead to marriage ... nothing else. But when you have conversation with her, she will not let that immediately be known to you. Woman "B": Would prefer a long-term, monogamous dating relationship ... but would settle for a long-term, non-monogamous, "casual sex" type relationship. But when you have conversation with her, she will not let that immediately be known to you Woman "C": Is very interested in either a one-night stand and/or a weekend fling of hot, kinky sex with you, but when you have conversation with her, she will not let that immediately be known to you Woman "D": Not interested in you at all romantically and/or sexually, but she is very enthusiastic about maintaining a good "platonic" friendship with you indefinitely. But when you have conversation with her, she will not let that immediately be known to you Woman "E": Not interested in you at all romantically and/or sexually, but wants you to take her on at least three-to-five dates, and spend money on her. Essentially, she wants to mislead you, manipulate you, toy with you, and take advantage of you financially until she gets bored with
you. But when you have conversation with her, she will not let that immediately be known to you Is Woman "A" in Room 1, Room 2, Room 3, Room 4, or Room 5? What about the other women? Remember ... you only have ONE HOUR to figure out "who is who." How would you go about identifying these various women's intentions? The answer to that question will basically let me know how well you understand the value of exhibiting Mode One Behavior towards women. You see, the biggest mistake most men who exhibit "Mode Two" and/or "Mode Three" Behavior make is modifying, adjusting, and drastically changing their behavior to accommodate each individual 'type' of woman they encounter. For example, if they feel like they're in the company of an 'innocent, wholesome good girl' type, they behave ONE WAY. If they feel they're in the company of a 'kinky freak' type, they behave ANOTHER WAY. And that's the weakness in Mode Two and Mode Three. The most effective way to find out what a woman's true intentions is to be MODE ONE at all times. Someone in another post mentioned egotistical indifference. That's the ULTIMATE GOAL of being Mode One on a regular basis. You get to a point where you stop concentrating on the desired responses / reactions / results you want from women, and simply concentrate on how you want to behave towards women ... regardless of the result/reaction. Once you accomplish that, you tend to naturally exhibit behavior that creates sexual tension. Once again, women who are genuinely not interested in dating you and/or having sex with you very rarely take the time to express lengthy, harsh criticisms. 95-99% of the time, women who are not interested in you simply say to you (in one way or another), "I'm not interested in you in a romantic or sexual manner." Women who express multiple criticisms of your behavior, or manner of expression, are usually interested in you .... to one degree or another ... but they are egotistically frustrated that you are not communicating with them in a 'socially acceptable' and/or basic, conventional manner which would allow them to easily respond to you .... or manipulate you. The point of the exercise is not so much to "predict" how each woman would respond, as you did above, but rather it is to see how YOU would go about identifying what woman falls into what specific category. You expressed the same sentiments that the vast majority of men say to me after they've exhibited Mode One Behavior towards women for a while: 1) Their fear of rejection, and their fear of harsh criticism, significantly diminishes; 2) Because of #1, they end up approaching more women, and expressing their romantic and/or
sexual interests to those women in a more highly self-assured, upfront, straightforward, and unapologetic manner; 3) Even when they're 'nervous' a bit, or have 'butterflies', as FreshGameMack expressed, they simply FORCE THEMSELVES to still TAKE ACTION. Action always conquers fear; 4) Here is where most of my [male] book readers get 'hooked' on Mode One: They begin to notice that many of the women who INITIALLY 'rejected' them and/or 'harshly criticized' them will turn around later on (hours later, days later, weeks later, or months later) and give them the pussy. I can't count how many times I've had a woman 'reject' me one week, but then, two or three weeks later, invite me over her place to fuck her; 5) Finally, for those women who genuinely do reject you .... it DOESN'T BOTHER YOU. It really doesn't. That's what also got me hooked on Mode One. When I'm Mode Two and/or Mode Three with women ... and I get rejected ... it tends to make me feel angry, frustrated, and/or bitter. But when I'm Mode One with women .... I never feel irritated when I get rejected. I tend to have an "Oh well ... on to the next woman" type attitude. You tend to feel satisfied that you didn't waste time and/or money pursuing a woman that wasn't really interested in you in the first place. The reason why most of the guys are on this particular board is because they know 3/4 of the "seduction / get laid quick" books on the market are bullshit. One thing about my book: From the Introduction, to the last Chapter, I never attempt to bullshit you, or insult your intelligence. If I don't get any other compliment from men who read my book, they tell me, "Alan ... your book is so REAL. It's totally devoid of bullshit or hype. It's just good, old-fashioned truth." Mode One Behavior CAN work via the Internet, but it is preferable it be exhibited person-toperson. One piece of advice ... I would start out just throwing out the idea of her sharing your company PERIOD. Sexual or non-sexual. See what she says. THEN, if she asks you, "Why do you want to share my company?" or something along those lines, THEN you let her know that your desires, interests, and intentions are sexual. Her response actually did you a FAVOR though. You know she's a full-of-sh** prude. I don't deal with those types. It has been my experience that just about all [single] women generally fall into FOUR (4) categories.... Category #1: - Women who are interested in dating you, or having casual sex with you, that have no problem letting you know their interest in you;
Category #2: - Women who are NOT interested in dating you, nor having casual sex with you, that have no problem letting you know their lack of interest in you; Note: With the above two categories, it is not absolutely necessary to exhibit Mode One Behavior. You could actually get away with exhibiting Mode Two Behavior with these women, and you would still receive the same general responses. (Mode Three Behavior though would still be ineffective) Category #3: - Women who are interested in dating you, or having casual sex with you, but will typically be RELUCTANT to let you know their interests (either temporarily or indefinitely) for a number of reasons; These women will typically "pretend" to not have an interest in you, or they will behave "indifferent" towards you, especially if you haven't straightforwardly communicated your romantic and/or sexual interests to them; Category #4: - Women who are NOT interested in dating you, nor are they interested in having casual sex with you, but will typically "PRETEND" to have some degree of romantic and/or sexual interest in you in order to toy with you, mislead you, manipulate you, and/or exploit you for [financial/materialistic] favors; 90% of the reason why I started exhibiting Mode One Behavior towards women was for my interactions with women in categories #3 and #4. Again, women in categories #1 and #2 are going to let you know their genuine interests (or lack of interests) regardless. Even if you're a "beat-around-the-bush" Mode Two type, they're going to let you know what's up with them. You don't really have to concern yourself with them. These are what I refer to as "nonmanipulative" women. The 'tricky' women are always the women in categories #3 and #4. These women do not want you to know their true interests in an upfront, straightforward manner. Why not?? Women in category #3 don't want to let you know their interest in dating you until they know for sure that you're interested in them, and that you're going to generally exhibit behavior that is to their liking. If they think you're not as interested in them as they are in you, they're going to 'hold back' on communicating their interest. They are also going to hold back on acknowledging their interest if their interest is in a longterm, monogamous relationship ... but they believe your interest is in short-term, nonmonogamous sex. Also, if they think they're going to have a challenging and/or frustrating time getting you to "act the way they want you to act." You can almost ALWAYS expect criticism and/or resistance from women in category #3. It's a 90-99% certainty.
Same with women in category #4. Women in category #4 HATE to reject men (and you thought women get pleasure out of rejecting men, didn't' you?). I've met many women in just over the last 2-3 years who have openly acknowledged that they fall into category #4, and that they do not like to be 'forced' to reject men. Women who are manipulative ... to one degree or another .... do not like rejecting men. Why? Because they don't get anything out of it. If a non-manipulative woman is not interested in dating you or having casual sex with you, she will tell you ... and then leave you alone. If a manipulative woman is not interested in dating you or having casual sex with you, they want you to a) shower them with some degree of enthusiastic, flattering attention and b) hopefully, spend some money on them or perform some form of 'favors' for them PRIOR to them letting you know they're really not interested in you. If you remember my post from last year (I think around May or June of 2007), I talked about how this woman who was the co-organizer of one of my Chicago-area book signing events openly admitted this. She said to me, "Alan .... if I was to reject every man I didn't want to have sex with, I would never get them to do any 'favors' for me. A woman would have to be stupid to immediately reject men that she doesn't want to sleep with. That would be a woman who doesn't know how to take advantage of her femininity and sexuality ...." Women who are in category #4 are going to criticize you, but not for the same reasons as women in category #3. They are also going to 'resist' you, but not like women in category #3. Women in category #4 are going to resist REJECTING you .... not resist acknowledging an interest in you. Women in category #4 are going to criticize you, because your straightforward behavior is preventing them from MANIPULATING YOU, or exploiting you, and they don't like that. When I am Mode One with women, the main women I'm trying to identify and expose are .... Priority #1 - Women in Category #4. I don't want these women wasting my time, or causing me to waste money on them, when in the long-run, I'm never going to date them or exchange orgasms with them. Priority #2 - Women in Category #3. These are the women I have the most fun being Mode One with. Ultimately, you will break these women down. If you saw "Talk Dirty To Me" or "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II," these are the women that the notorious womanizer "Jack" (John Leslie) targets. Women who are trying to 'pretend' like they're NOT interested in having casual, kinky sex with him ... but deep-down, they are. Priority #3 - Women in categories #1 and #2. Once again, I could care less about being Mode One with these women. They're going to let you know where they stand REGARDLESS. You could be Mode One with these women, but it's not an absolute necessity. Again, you could exhibit Mode Two Behavior with these women, and you'll still get the same result. Basically, the only reason to be Mode One with women in categories #1 and #2 is to make 100% sure that they're not in categories #3 and #4.
Take note, this is going to be my last 'gem' of FREE advice and explanations until my sequel to Mode One is available.... Please absorb this. I wouldn't use Scarface as the greatest examples, because in the end, he gets shot the fuck up. Same with Denzel Washington's character in "Training Day." He had balls, and he was straightforward, but in the end, he got shot the fuck up. An underrated movie l like that has a character who is "Mode One" is "The Good Wife" with Bryan Brown. Pay attention to the character played by Sam Neill. Neville Gifford is the character's name I believe. Great "Mode One" movie character..... When you're being 'rejected' ... do you feel 'angry,' 'frustrated,' and/or 'bitter' towards these women? Or do you just feel "indifferent?" If the answer is the former ... then there is something you're doing wrong. If the answer is the latter ... you're good. I do not believe in aggressively "chasing" a woman either. I just express my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in the most highly self-assured, upfront, and straightforwardly honest manner ... then I let the results take care of themselves. Examples: A woman hasn't returned two or more of your Email messages and/or two or more of your phone calls, but yet you keep repeatedly making an effort to contact her and communicate with her; Message you're sending to her: You NEED her attention & companionship more so than you desire it. You quickly offer to 'wine & dine' a woman, and do things like bring her a dozen roses on the first or second date; Message you're sending to her: She's already "special" in your mind, despite the fact that you really don't know her; She already knows she's "girlfriend" material. You go out of your way to behave like "Mr. Perfect Gentleman," and you are always expressing highly flattering compliments to this woman; Message you're sending to her: You're afraid of being criticized by her, and hence, you're "afraid" of losing the opportunity for attention and companionship from her. You act "overeager" and/or "over-anxious" to hook up with her; Message you're sending to her: You probably have no other options for female companionship at this time, and consequently, you're impatient to share her company There are a lot of forms of behavior you exhibit towards women that you may not 'consciously'
realize tell that woman that you don't have many options for female companionship. Letting her know she's "one of many" is not so much about going up to her and saying, "Hey ... I have LOTS of women calling me!!!". When you exhibit the right behavior, you don't have to announce that.... ... she'll already know. Women ... and particularly, manipulative women ... always want to operate in the "ambiguous zone." I say that in my book. The vast majority of women have no desire to immediately reciprocate your interests ... or ... immediately reject your interests. From their perspective, if they reciprocate your [sexual] interests too quickly, they think they're being perceived as a 'slut' or a 'whore.' If they reject your interests too quickly, they think they're being perceived as a 'bitch' which would prevent them from potentially exploiting you for financial favors and/or receiving flattering attention from you. My best advice? Never, ever really concern yourself with women's reactions and responses. For those focused on getting laid within a particular time frame, that seems like not-so-great advice, but trust me ... I've been exhibiting Mode One Behavior for years. All you should ever really concentrate on when you approach women is WHAT DO YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER? - When I approached her, was my body language and demeanor confident and self-assured? - When I conversed with her, did I let her know what my romantic and/or sexual interests were in a bold, upfront, and straightforwardly honest manner? - In the event that she criticized me for being so unconventional and forward, did I become apologetic and/or defensive? Or did I respond to all of her criticisms with a calm, cool, relaxed manner? - In the event that she rejected me, and specifically let me know that she didn't have any interest in sharing my company at this time ... did I calmly leave her alone ... or did I keep badgering her? Being "rejected" by a woman is NOT representative of "FAILURE." That is the most important thing to remember. The only time you should feel like you 'failed' is when you either a) don't approach a woman at all due to your fear of rejection and/or b) don't let your true interests be known to a woman due to your fear of harsh, subjective criticism Other than that, you're okay.... I agree with most, if not all, of what you said. Exhibiting Mode One Behavior does improve your self-confidence and self-esteem over a period of time. Why? Because for starters, when you exhibit Mode One Behavior on a regular basis, your fear
of rejection, you fear of [subjective] criticisms, and your fear of what other people think about you tend to diminish significantly. You tend to become more authentic. There is a difference between being "flexible" and being "lenient" and/or "overly accommodating." The former is a potentially beneficial thing, while the latter more so puts you in the Mode Two category. I find the #1 thing that combats ambiguity is specificity. If I tell a woman I'm coming over to her place to fuck her Friday evening at 10pm, I don't see how she can tell me "maybe" or "possibly." 99% chance, she's either going to allow me to come over, or not allow me to come over. The more specific you are in expressing your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions ... the more you pretty much 'force' a woman to be specific with her responses. Don't tolerate game-playing by a woman. That is unacceptable. If you want to fuck a woman at 10pm on Friday, and she wants to fuck at 8pm on Friday, then you changing from 10pm to 8pm is being "flexible." But if a woman is giving you the 'run-around,' then leave her alone until she's willing to follow your program. Remember ... many women are out to "test" you. Test you to see if they can manipulate you, control you, dominate you, exploit you, take advantage of you, waste your time, or just generally get you to behave in the manner that THEY want you to. Don't fall for that. There is nothing wrong with "getting to know a woman" as long as you're not required to a) spend money 'wining & dining' her if you don't want to, or b) commit to a long-term, monogamous relationship if you don't want to. As long as you're avoiding "a" and "b," I don't see any problem with 'taking your time' before you fuck her. I would say probably that 90% of the time that I fucked a woman the same day I met her, it was not my specific intention to do so. More often than not, I will tell a woman I want to fuck her anywhere from 2 - 5 weeks from the time I meet her. I never want to give a woman the impression that I am "desperate" for some pussy, or "overanxious" and/or "impatient" to exchange orgasms with her. I did a small book signing a couple of years ago in the Chicago land region, and it was attended by one married couple, one guy, and about 12-15 women (probably the highest percentage of women for any book signing I've done). We got to talking about fucking and seduction, and I made the comment that "I find when you're not in a rush to fuck a woman ... women can't wait to give you the pussy." About half of the women started laughing out loud. One woman asked the women, "What is so funny??" And then some of the women started showering me with praise. They said things like, "No
wonder you have the credibility to write a book ... you're good. You know women. You know how we respond." Another one said, "That is so true. I can't stand men who have their tongue out in anticipation of having sex with you. I like a man that treats me almost as if he can wait days, weeks, or even months before having sex with me. That will make me intrigued by him. I will start to wonder, 'why is he so patient?' He must be getting a lot of [pussy] from other women!!" Women love sexual patience. Trust me on this one. Remember in "Talk Dirty To Me," when Jack is talking to the female doctor? He doesn't really 'rush' her into having sex. She ends up being the "impatient" one. He was very relaxed and patient. Good things cum to those who wait . . You don't have to be misleading and/or manipulative towards a woman in order to break her down. Confidence + Straightforward Honesty + Unapologetic behavior breaks down women consistently. For me, there is a difference between "qualifying talk" and/or "rapport building," and "trivial small talk." I try never to engage in the latter. Nothing wrong with you engaging in a few minutes of the former. The difference is, the former is geared towards helping YOU make a decision of whether or not to pursue this woman romantically and/or sexually. That is to YOUR benefit. "Trivial small talk" would be if you walked up to a woman, and said, "So .. what do you think about this fine weather we're having?" Do you REALLY CARE about her opinion of the weather?? I doubt it. Exhibiting Mode One Behavior is not always about approaching a woman, and expressing comments like, "Hey ... you want to fuck?" Mode One is simply about eliminating all bullshit 'small talk' and disingenuous flattery, and making no immediate offers to 'wine & dine' women in order to get them in bed. Other than that, Mode One can be incorporated into any man's mindset to be what HE NEEDS IT TO BE. Don't oversimplify Mode One Behavior by suggesting that it is all about going up to a woman and saying, "Wanna fuck?" It's not. Mode One is not about memorizing some sort of rehearsed 'script' or 'lines.' A Mode One mindset has to be incorporated into your own personality. In other words, Brian's brand of "Mode One" could be different from Tyrone's brand of "Mode One," in terms of the actual language, words, and dialogue. What is the same between Brian and Tyrone is the underlying ATTITUDE, DEMEANOR, and GUIDING PHILOSOPHY. Quit trying to "impress" women, or say what you think THEY WANT TO HEAR. Instead, tell women WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW. Here is what helped me truly get a feel for being Mode One with women.
Now for some, this will sound crazy and/or contradictory to your purpose, but here it goes: STOP TRYING TO BE "SUCCESSFUL" WITH WOMEN. Some of you are like, "huh? I thought the whole point of being 'Mode One' was to be more successful with women?" Well, it is ... but at the same time, it isn't. Being more successful with women should never be the specific focus of exhibiting Mode One Behavior. When you're truly Mode One with women... the positive, reciprocal responses will simply start COMING YOUR WAY. Naturally. Many times, when you least expect it. What I would focus on, is simply GROWING YOUR BALLS. Developing the BALLS to speak your mind, and express your thoughts, desires, interests, and intentions to women in a highly selfassured, upfront, unapologetic, straightforwardly honest manner. THAT'S IT. So, instead of keeping statistics of "How many phone numbers did I get?" or "How many positive responses did I get this week/month?" or "How many women did I have sex with in the last 3 - 5 weeks?", just keep a note of how many women you approached that you were INITIALLY "afraid" to approach. Secondly, how many women ... once you did approach them ... did you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to those women in the most HIGHLY SELF-ASSURED manner as possible? And if they criticized you for being 'too forward,' did you 'back down' and apologize? Or did you stand your ground? Focus on the APPROACH .... not the results. Mode One is not a "Okay, do this ... and then do that ... and then say this ... and wah la!" Uhm ... nope. When you're consistently Mode One with women, things will just naturally start falling into place for you. You'll know when to say what, and how to say it, depending on the type of woman you're talking to. Most of your conversations with various women will be DIFFERENT. They'll all be MODE ONE, but yet and still, they'll be uniquely DIFFERENT. That's the beauty of Mode One. You'll never sound "rehearsed" or "scripted." I leave the latter to the fellas with the big magician hats and make-up on ..... Actually, probably the majority of my pussy over the years from Mode One behavior was "delayed" (i.e., days later, weeks later, months later, etc). The times you get a woman to reciprocate your sexual interests the same day are more-than-likely going to be few and far between. If you read Chapter Six, you know about "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites." Most of those type women are not going to give you the pussy the same day, or the same weekend, that you first meet them ... unless you just really, really break them down to the point where they can't help BUT to give you some [immediate] pussy. With Mode One, I've had women harshly criticize me ... even damn near curse me out during the Thanksgiving or Christmas holidays .... only to turn around in February, March, or April and damn near BEG me to fuck them.
Think of using Mode One Behavior as "planting a seed" in a woman's mind about you fucking them. Plants don't grow overnight. But when that seed starts growing in her psyche .... look out. Pussy will just start knocking on your door. Trust me ... when you're really bold, highly self-assured, and provocatively straightforward with women ... you're going to get criticized. If women have yet to criticize you ... then actually, that means that more-than-likely, those women were just genuinely not interested in you. At least you didn't waste time on them. The women that will usually criticize you are these two types: 1) The women who, deep-down, want to date you and/or have sex with you ... but they don't want you to know that yet; and/or 2) The women who are not that interested in dating you or having sex with you, but they want to 'toy' with you, manipulate you, exploit you, or generally waste your time in an unproductive manner. Mode One frustrates these two types of women. I call these women "Category #3" women and "Category #4" women. Very much so. Hypothetically, if every single, heterosexual male in this country were to exhibit Mode One Behavior towards all women ... these factors in society would change: 1) The number of [successful] gold-diggers would diminish significantly. Men would no longer be offering to 'wine & dine' women who are not genuinely interested in them; Men would save a lot of MONEY as well as time. And time is money. 2) The number of "attention whores" and "dick teasers" would diminish significantly. Women would either have to give up the pussy ... or ignore the guys they aren't interested in; 3) Manipulative 'head games' would become virtually non-existent. Men and women's interpersonal communication with each other would be upfront & straightforward 100% of the time ... no bullshit. 4) Women's behavior wouldn't be as erotically hypocritical and/or sexually duplicitous as it is now There are a number of other ways the world would change, but those four top my list. All of the top home-run hitters in baseball also lead the league in strikeouts. It's the same way with Mode One. I say upfront in my book: When you're Mode One with women, you will get criticized more, and rejected more, than you would if you were to exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior.
The only thing I recommend is distinguishing between REJECTION and RESISTANCE. The latter is when a woman just criticizes your approach, and your behavior, but she never really says, "I'm not interested in you." If a woman in any way, shape or form says, "I'm not interested in sharing your company..." or "I feel no romantic and/or sexual chemistry with you at all ...", that's when you leave that woman the fuck alone and move on to the next one. Being harshly criticized by a woman should never be something you specifically desire. Just know that inevitably, it's going to happen from time to time when you're Mode One. You see, for most "basic" and "conventional" things you say to women ... they have a 'readymade' response in their head to use as a reply. You: "Hello...." Women (already in their mental file-cabinet): "Hello...." You: "How are doing today..." Women (look in their mental file cabinet for common response): "Fine ... and yourself?" You: "Looking at you ... I'm debating ..." Women ("Huh?" This does not seem to be a 'common' comment by men; They're thrown off): "Debating about what...." You: "Whether or not to let you suck my dick next week, or the week after ... do you think you deserve to suck my dick in the next 2-3 weeks?" Women (WTF? I've NEVER had a man say some shit like that to me!!! I don't have a response ready for that question!!!! So, I have to 'pretend' like that 'offended' me, even though this guy is attractive, and I would probably suck his dick ... but I don't want him to think I'm a 'whore' or a 'slut' ...so....) "Oh my GOD!!! I don't believe you said that!!!! You are such a JERK for saying that!!!! Do you have any manners?!?!?" If you apologize, or back-down from your comment, you're dead meat. The woman will know you have NO BALLS. If you look at her like, "yeah ... I said it. And?" She probably won't give you a positive response THAT MOMENT or THAT DAY ... but trust me ... the visual of her sucking your dick is planted in her head indefinitely. Don't say shit to women simply for "shock value" or to elicit criticism. That will backfire. But do be REAL with women, and let your true, genuine desires, interests, and intentions be known to them. I've had that scenario happen literally DOZENS of times. That's one of the top keys of Mode
One: You cannot let a woman cause you to waste time. I tell guys all of the time: I'd rather be flat-out rejected by a woman, than to have a woman waste my mutha fuckin time for days, weeks, or months ... and then I still don't get the pussy. Like crimeSTAR, I've gotten women to a point where they actually apologized to me for giving me a hard time and/or behaving like a spoiled brat or bitch (I sometimes make them apologize while I'm fucking them ... that shit is fun). That's over half of what Mode One is about: Being able to quickly and effectively identify women who are wholesome pretenders/erotic hypocrities, and/or manipulative/exploitive time-wasters. My most common "PG-13" substitute for 'fucking' is 'exchanging orgasms.' There are literally two dozen alternatives to saying "I want to fuck you." Be creative. At least 95-99% of the time that I approach women, that is my #1 objective: To see if that woman is married, engaged, in a serious relationship, or single & unattached. I don't pursue women who already in relationships. Even if they're throwing me rhythm or positive vibes. I've found in the long-run, it usually leads to unnecessary drama. And you've just identified your weakness. You are impatient for the pussy. Impatience leads to over-aggressiveness and desperation. In the long run, your opportunities to get laid will dry up. Trust me on that. Again ... if I have more than enough food to feed me ... I don't mind waiting weeks or months for an opportunity to eat at yet another new and different restaurant. But if I'm hungry ... starving ... very little food at home ... I damn near jump at every opportunity to eat out. The latter is you my friend. "Neediness" is a foreign term for a true player. You can't ever, ever, ever allow yourself to "NEED" a woman's attention and/or [sexual] companionship. EVER. This is what I keep stressing to men over and over and over again. When you exhibit Mode One Behavior on a consistent basis, you don't have to worry about results. The results you want will slowly, but surely start coming your way (without you really 'trying' to get them). I never concentrate on specifically desired results. I just concentrate on being MODE ONE, and as you said ... I let the results take care of themselves. I've never been against building rapport with a woman. There is a HUGE difference between building rapport, and engaging in "small talk." I can converse with a woman for a full hour, and be "building rapport." I can converse with a woman for only 15-20 minutes, and be engaging in "small talk." Small talk has very little to do with HOW LONG you talk to a woman, and more to do with WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
"Small talk" = Any conversation that is neither directly or indirectly related to your main purpose for talking to that woman (e.g., you want to date her, you want to have [casual] sex with her, you want to share her company in the near future, etc). This is where I'm different from most men: The vast majority of Mode Two guys will talk and talk and talk to a woman .... and THEN ... towards the END of the conversation .... will find a way to express their romantic and/or sexual interests to a woman. What I do is JUST THE OPPOSITE. I start out my conversations stating my interests .... and then I let the conversation flow from there. Example of "Small Talk": Me: "I'm Alan ... and you are?" Woman: "Linda..." Me: "Great to meet you Linda." Woman: "Likewise." Me: "So ... uhm ... do you come to this bookstore often?" Woman: "At least once or twice per month." Me: "Cool. So do you like fiction ... or non-fiction better?" Woman: "I probably would say I like both." Me: "Cool. I like Stephen Covey and many other self-help type authors." Woman: "Great. I read those types of books from time-to-time." Me: "What are some of your other favorite book topics and subjects?" Woman: "Health & Fitness, biographies, New Age Spirituality, and romance novels." Me: "Romance novels huh? Hmmm." Woman (smiles): "Why the 'hmmm'...." Me: "So you like to read romantic stuff huh?" Woman: "Oh yes." Me: "Hey ... speaking of romance ... you want to go out on a date sometime?" Woman (smiles warmly): "I'm sorry Alan .... I'm flattered by the invitation ... but I just recently got engaged. Sorry." Me: "No problem. Well ... nice meeting you and talking to you anyway." Now realistically, I've seen men engage in "small talk" for a much longer time than that example ... but you get my point. Example of "Building Rapport" via Mode One Behavior: Me: "So ... what weekend in the next three-to-five weeks would you like to share my company one-on-one .... two weekends from now? three weekends from now?" Woman: "Excuse me? I beg your pardon?" Me: "You're excused. (pause) So .... you want to share my company two weeks from now ... three weeks from now ...?" Woman: "I don't even know you!" Me: "I'm Alan...." Woman: "I'm Linda. Your approach is ... uhm ... very different. Very unconventional." Me: "As it should be. (pause) So .... I say, you and I get together ... my place, your place, or somewhere neutral .... in about 2-3 weeks."
Woman: "And just why should I share your company?" Me: "Because I'm going to provide you with some of the most high quality male companionship possible. I'm attracted to you. And the fact that you haven't ended this conversation yet lets me know you're attracted to me ... or at least, intrigued." Woman: "Again ... you're different. But I have many male friends who provide me with great male companionship." Me: "You said the key word. Male FRIENDS. I'm not looking to become your next 'platonic' friend. At some point in the upcoming weeks, you and I are going to have sex ... and we're both going to enjoy it immensely." Woman (startled): "Oh my GOD! You are SO FORWARD. I can't believe you just said that. You just met me!! How can you be so sure that I would have sex with you when you just met me???" [Note: No need to answer that. The fact that this woman is STILL TALKING TO ME lets me know she's interested, or at least, curious and/or intrigued] Me: "So ... next weekend? Two weekends from now? What works better ...." Woman: "Well, truthfully ... I already have a boyfriend." Me: "Okay. Take care ...." Woman: "No ... wait. Actually, the truth is, he bores me to death. I'm about to break up with him." Me (writes number down): "Okay. When you officially break up with him ... give me a call. We'll hook up. I think you already know that my company will be far from boring...." Woman (giggles): "Yes Alan ... you seem like a character. (writes down number) Here is my work number. But I'll probably call you before you call me." Me: "Cool...." Now. That conversation was "longer" than the "small talk," wasn't it? But it wasn't 'small talk.' I let this woman know from the word GO that I wanted to share her company one-on-one. I didn't waste time asking her about her favorite books. Why? Because if she doesn't want to kiss me, date me, or give me some pussy .... I COULD GIVE A FUCK WHAT BOOKS SHE READS. Bottom line: Akaisoras, you've never read where I said building rapport with a woman is a "bad" thing. Never. It's all about HOW YOU GO ABOUT ACHIEVING THIS OBJECTIVE. Again, "small talk" is not the same thing as "building rapport." I'm gonna tell you Akaisoras ... as I've told other men I know (including on this message board) ... IF YOUR ONLY REASON FOR WANTING TO BE "MODE ONE" IS TO BECOME SOME SORT OF "OVERNIGHT WOMANIZER," THEN YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT, FRUSTRATION, and even BITTERNESS. I never exhibit Mode One Behavior for the sole & specific purpose of getting laid. For me ... and I say this in my book .... getting some pussy from a woman is more so a "fringe benefit" or byproduct of being Mode One, than it is the sole, specific purpose or objective of Mode One. If I had to use an example or analogy, it would be like improving your health, fitness, and physique for the sole & specific purpose of getting laid. 90-99% chance, if you improve your health, fitness, and overall physique ... you're going to get more attention from women .... that's just a given .... but if you make that your only motivation, then the minute you're not receiving the amount of attention you desire, you're going to lose your motivation to exercise
and eat right. Same with Mode One. I'm Mode One with women who want to date me ... and I'm Mode One with women who don't want to date me. I'm Mode One with women who want to have a one-night stand or a weekend fling with me .... and I'm Mode One with women who have no interest in having a one-night stand or a weekend fling with me. I'm Mode One with "good girls" ... if there is such a thing ... and I'm Mode One with women who are kinky, freaky, and/or promiscuous. Women who like to chat via Instant Message a lot tend to be “attention whores”. At most, I would chat with her on MSN for maybe 3-5 minutes, just to see what she's talking about. But if she doesn't give up the phone number during that time .... fuck her. You need to really determine if she's truly looking to exchange orgasms ... or is she looking to play games and waste your time. Actually, from start-to-finish, I like TDTM2 better than TDTM1. As far as individual scenes ... TDTM1 has the best single scene with Jack's seduction of the female physician ("Wholesome Pretender"), but TDTM2 has the best overall storyline. If you've read Chapter Six in my Mode One Book about "Wholesome Pretenders" and "Erotic Hypocrites," trust me fellas ... no two movies that I can think of are better than "Talk Dirty To Me" and "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II" Those are two of the best movies EVER MADE (and I'm not talking two of the best adult films ever made ... I mean, best movies PERIOD) that show you how women will "publicly" play the role of the 'innocent, wholesome, virtuous nice girl,' but behind-closed-doors, those same women will be big-time kinky freaks. I don't pursue women who have a boyfriend, fiance', or husband. If you fellas want to do that ... that's on you. I don't do that (anymore). I used to when I was in my 20s ... but that leads to too much drama. I never call a woman more than once or twice. If I call a woman two times, and I don't receive a return phone call, my attitude is "fuck 'em." At least 50-60% of the time, I don't call women period. I usually give them my number, and wait for them to call me. I usually only call women when they specifically say, "Alan ... I want you to call me ... here is my number." Women who are genuinely interested in dating you or having casual sex with you will call. They might not always call within the first 2-3 days after they meet you .... but trust me, they will call (eventually). If they never call, that means they weren't truly interested in you in the first place. They were just looking for some enthusiastic, flattering attention from you without giving up the pussy. Fuck those women. I've never really met a man that DIDN'T WANT TO BE Mode One and/or Direct with women. But I meet plenty of men who are ... to one degree or another ... SCARED TO BE. The first thing that got me 'addicted' to Mode One Behavior was not so much how I felt after
having a woman reciprocate my interests .... but more so, it was how I felt after being harshly criticized and/or rejected. It didn't faze me anymore. When I was Mode Two with women and/or Mode Three with women, [harsh] criticism and rejection left me feeling dejected, frustrated, angry, and even bitter. But when I started being Mode One on a regular basis, I could care less if a woman criticized my behavior or rejected me. Because when you're Mode One with women, women who are truly interested in you will NEVER reject you indefinitely. Some might "pretend" to be rejecting you, and not interested in you, but either days later, weeks later, or months later, those women will make contact with you. It is FAR EASIER for any woman to lie with her WORDS than it is for that same woman to lie with her ACTIONS. That's why you can never act "impatient" and/or "over-aggressive" with women. That allows them to 'play the game' they want to play. Example: You want to fuck a woman casually, and the woman you're interacting with wants to also have a one-night stand, weekend fling, or a few days or weeks of casual sex fun. If you approach that woman and say, "Hey ... let's fuck tonight!," she will be easily able to 'pretend' that casual sex is not her thing, and just simply tell you 'No ... sorry ... I'm not into casual sex." But if you approach that same woman and simply say something like, "You know what I think .... I think that at some point in the next few weeks, you and I are going to share each other's company .... and the sexual chemistry between us is just going to keep increasing ... and increasing ... and increasing ..." Now on Day 1, she might say, "I think not. You have to be my boyfriend in order to have sex with me." You simply say, "Boyfriend? Oh ... sorry babes ... that will never happen. Not looking to be locked down. Take care...." Now, if that woman is genuinely not interested in you ... you will never hear from that woman. But if that woman was "pretending" not to be interested in you, but deep down, she is .... she is going to stop you before you leave. She is going to say something like, "Don't you want my number?" "Where do you live?" etc. Women want dick. They've always wanted dick, and they will always want dick. The reason why women play so many games is because us dumb ass men are always offering them INCENTIVES and REWARDS in exchange for pussy. "I will buy you a bracelet if you give me some pussy...." "I will pay your car note if you let me fuck you on regular basis ...." "I will take you to dinner twice per week, every week if you suck my dick just once ...." What the FUCK?? If you were an attractive woman, you would be tempted to play manipulative 'head games' too if every man you met was "offering" you something for what is between your
legs. A Mode One man has the underlying attitude of, "I'm not offering you JACK SHIT to give me some pussy. Either you want me to fuck you ... or you don't. If you don't, don't waste my mutha fuckin time...." Every now and then, I've called a woman out on the carpet ... but 95-99% of the time, I let them know my lack of interest in them and/or my disdain for them by simply not giving them any more attention. Just leave manipulators and time-wasters alone. They'll get the message. You've made a wise decision. Your level of anger, frustration, and bitterness towards women will soon decrease significantly. You can't ever allow women to toy with you, mislead you, manipulate you, exploit you for financial favors, or just generally waste your time. I actually don't like for men to imitate my own style of "Mode One" Behavior, because Mode One is not a "technique" that men "duplicate" from one another. Mode One is more so an underlying philosophy and attitude that guides your behavior and demeanor. In other words, Brian's brand of Mode One Behavior is going to be different from Tyrone's brand of Mode One Behavior which is going to be different from Michael's brand of Mode One which is different than David's brand of Mode One. It's just like basketball. A lot of basketball players have the same objective ... score ... but how they go about it is individually different. Kobe does not go to the hole and score in the exact same way as LeBron James. LeBron is not like Ray Allen. Ray Allen is not like Allen Iverson. But yet, they all have the same general objective. Score a basket. From the time a man is about 10, 11, or 12 ... if not younger ... he is TAUGHT to exhibit the behavior of the "little perfect gentleman," depending on his relationship with his mother, aunts, or older sisters. And this learned psychological programming fucks up many men for life. The underlying message? "Don't make women mad ... don't make women pissed off for any reason ... don't agitate or irritate women in any way ... flatter women's egos ... wine & dine them ... spoil them with gifts and favors for no valid reason ... and your 'reward' will be a positive reaction, compliments and quite possibly(!) romantic and/or sexual companionship!!" And that 'learned' social programming is all BULLSHIT. Bravo my friend .... bravo. Isn't being Mode One with women exhilarating? (for me ... not only do I get an adrenaline rush when I receive a positive, enthusiastic, reciprocal response from women ... but even the vast majority of the time that I get the "I'm not interested" response, I still get a rush from knowing that I did not give in to basic, conventional 'small talk') This conversation brings up a point though: A lot of men ask me ... "When is the best time to bring up your sexual interests to a woman? Right at the beginning? After 3-5 minutes of 'normal'
conversation? When?" Right when joefso did. When a woman specifically asks you something like, "Why do you want me to share your company?" "What are we going to be doing when we get together?" or some other similar question. Because if there is one thing I want to know before letting my sexual interests known, it's does this woman want to share my company, one-on-one, at some point in the near future? That's why, 80-90% of the time, my first question is, "When would you like to share my company (one-on-one)?" That qualifies a few things: 1) She finds you physically attractive enough, charming enough, and/or intriguing enough to want to spend time with in the near future; 2) If she has a boyfriend, fiance', or husband, she will let you know this immediately; 3) You can observe her subtle nuances and body language just by the manner in which she answers that question; She might reveal that she's some sort of crazy psycho that you wouldn't want to hook up with anyway; I've read studies and surveys where both men and women .... and particularly, women ... have said that they would actually be more likely to do something "really kinky" with someone they just met and/or don't know that well than with someone they've known for a while and frequently interact with. One example: Threesomes. I've read where many women have said they would be more likely to have either a MMF or a FFM threesome with two other people who they don't know that well, or just met, than with two people they went to high school with, college with, or work with. #1 reason? Women (and to a lesser extent, men) don't like to be "judged" about their sexuality. Women will always get 'kinky' and 'freaky' with you once they know you won't "judge" them (i.e., call them a 'slut' or 'whore' to your male friends after having sex with them) What makes you feel "powerful" is YOUR APPROACH more so than the actual RESULT. Why? You feel powerful when you DETACH yourself from a specifically desired result. In other words, you WANTED her to suck your dick, but you didn't NEED her to suck your dick. Your underlying attitude was, "I want you to suck my dick ... and I really don't give a fuck if you're going to criticize me because of my desire for you to suck my dick ...." No, that's not what Xuma was saying. Even I rarely go up to a woman and say, "Hey ... I'm Alan, and I want to fuck you tonight...." He basically said that you should avoid letting a woman know that all you want is [just] casual sex from her, because if you do so, you prevent a woman from maintaining her sense of being "virtuous."
But my attitude is ... if you avoid letting a woman know that your primary objective is casual sex, then what is she going to perceive about your desires, interests, and intentions? That you want a relationship? Again, he didn't simply make it an issue of semantics/language. Even I tell many guys that being Mode One in a "PG-13" manner is sometimes more effective than being Mode One in a "Xrated" manner. For example, sometimes, telling a woman, "I would like to exchange orgasms with you...." or "I want to enjoy a few weeks of casual sex fun with you...." might be more palatable than saying, "I want to fuck you silly in the doggy-style position." Again, he was saying that if all you want is casual sex from a woman ... it is better to keep that desire to yourself, and let the woman just ASSUME that is all you want rather than you saying it upfront. You can be Mode One with the objective of finding a genuine girlfriend and/or future wife. That's what my older brother did when he met his now wife. He was not Mode One in a 'sexual' manner. He just told her, "Look ... I've sowed my oats. I've had my [casual sex] fun with various women. That's all behind me now. Right now, I'm looking for a woman to settle down with. To have a long-term, meaningful relationship with. Let me know now if you're not on the same page with that....." And now, he and that woman are married. Mode One works for long-term relationships too.... You can change the actual words from woman to woman, but I'm talking more so about your INTENT. Many "kinky freak" types wear conservative clothing. Remember that. When you're upfront, specific, and very straight-to-the-point about your desires, interests, and intentions ... it is highly unlikely that you will be mislead or manipulated. Actually, sometimes ... determining what you would say to women solely based on looks can often times be a MISTAKE. Many men allow themselves to get "intimidated" by women's looks. For example, if a woman is dressed "conservative," they tend to use "conventional, conversative" language. If a woman is really beautiful, they tend to be more flattering and accommodating. Both are a mistake. Women are women. If you want a one-night stand with a very beautiful woman, you need to be just as provocatively straightforward as you would be with a an 'average' or 'less-than-average' looking woman. If you want a woman to suck your dick, you need to tell a conservatively dressed woman your desire in the same way you would a woman with tight, short skirt. Never judge a book by its cover. You hit it dead on the head with that last comment about manipulative timewasters.
Timewasters will always say "yes" with their words, but a big ass "no" with their body language. Again, these are the women you most have to watch out for.... They go out of their way NOT TO REJECT or DECLINE any of your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. That would ruin the 'head game' they're trying to play. Instead, what they do is almost quickly dismiss your desires. They treat you as if you never even said anything. Next thing you know, you're engage in 2 hours of bullshit "small talk" about nothing that's going to lead to you dating that woman or fucking that woman. With all due respect to the so-called "respectable women" of society, that whole "you're coming on too strong" stuff is BULLSHIT. And this is not just my own opinion ... I've had female friends close to me admit this. You see, women don't like talk that's "too provocative" and/or "too sexually straightforward" not so much because they 'can't handle it', but rather, because they know deep-down that they CAN'T MANIPULATE YOU. I've had a few women tell me that straight-up. They've said to me, "Alan ... I hate the fact that you're encouraging men to be straightforward with their sexual desires ...." I'll say, "Why?" Them: "Because then we can't toy with them. We can't mess with their heads [mislead them]. Women need some guys in their life that they can just mess with and get favors from...." So, I don't believe in that whole "you're coming on too strong" comment. Did you hear my show with Alexyss K. Tylor about "Tricky Dicks" (i.e., lying, manipulative womanizers)? Alexyss tried to make that argument with me. So did this woman named Pearl Jr. They both tried to say that even if a man is upfront and straightforward with his desire to engage in non-monogamous, casual sex ... that it is still somehow "unethical" and "manipulative" since women are known to become emotionally attached if they have sex with a guy more than 2 or 3 times. That's bullshit. We are GROWN ADULTS who are responsible for making GROWN DECISIONS. That's like me going into a grocery store and just start eating all of the food around me, and then when I get arrested, I say, "You all know damn well I was hungry. Seeing all this food makes me hungry. I had to eat that box of donuts!!" Uhm ... nope. Doesn't fly. If I tell a woman straightforwardly that I want to fuck her ... AND OTHER WOMEN ... then it is on HER to decide to deal with me, or not deal with me. I stopped fucking other men's girlfriends, fiancees, and wives because it's just not good karma. I'm not going to fuck over my own gender to get some pussy. I feel like that shit will catch up with you, and come back to haunt you. But yes ... I don't like "drama" either. That's why I'm MODE ONE FOR LIFE. Women can easily "use" you, mislead you, and manipulate you when you exhibit Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior. But not Mode One.
Most women who get vindictive, it's because they feel mislead and manipulated. And this is my whole point. Now some women are just crazy, psychotic stalkers. I have a "sixth sense" about women like this, and I generally leave them alone. Well, I have no idea how credible all of his stories are Jaydilla, but I agree with just about everything he said in that essay you posted about his thoughts on being truthful about getting laid. In the same way he said it "opened up a whole new world to him," I feel the same way about Mode One. Once I just started going up to women, and expressing my TRUE desires, interests, and intentions to them ... in a bold, upfront, straight-to-the-point, unapologetic manner ... it changed my whole paradigm about interacting with women. I disagree with one thing he said. He said, "Believe it or not, many women want to fuck almost as much as guys do." There is no "almost as much." Women DO want dick just as much as men want pussy. Why does it SEEM like they don't? 1) Women don't want good dick one time, two times, or three times. This is why women prefer relationships. So they can get good dick repeatedly. Men can be satisfied with good pussy just two or three times and be ready to move on to the next woman with good pussy. This is why men favor one-night stands, weekend flings, or other forms of casual sex much more than the average woman does. 2) Most attractive, highly desirable women are accustomed to men "offering" them incentives and rewards for sex (e.g., wining & dining, financial favors, materialistic gifts, etc) So this is why most women are not "quick" to want to jump into bed with a guy. They first want to see WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO OFFER THEM in exchange for their sexual companionship. One thing you have to give women credit: Most women ... and particularly attractive women ... VALUE THEIR PUSSIES. Most men sell the value of their dicks short. Men could just as easily say to women, "Are you going to take me out to dinner to get some dick?" As men, we tend to make the mistake of just "giving away" dick. 3) As Tucker pointed out, women are generally a wee bit more selective about who they sleep with because they're always paranoid about getting pregnant. There might be one or two other factors that cause women to LOOK LIKE they don't want sex as much as men, but the reality is, all women want to get fucked. Women love dick. They love it. That's why you have so many promiscuous women in society. They can't get enough dick. Self-Assured = Conversing with people as if you know for a fact that your desires, interests, and intentions will be reciprocated egotistically indifferent = you don't really give a fuck how people respond to you; If they
criticize aspects of your behavior ... so what. You never "attach" yourself to a specific result, reaction, response, etc anonymousGuy ... here is your problem. You're spending too much time ANALYZING what Mode One Behavior is, and is not, instead of just going out in the real world and exhibiting Mode One Behavior towards women. The best way to learn the "ins and outs" of Mode One Behavior is simply to exhibit Mode One Behavior towards a number of different women. Then you will naturally learn all of the subtle nuances of what makes Mode One Behavior effective. But if you just continue to sit at your computer, and ask all of these over-analytical questions, you're never going to get your feet wet in the Mode One mindset. The Mode One Principles are a specific form of the Direct/Natural Game Guiding Philosophy. For example, when it comes to dieting, you have three major categories: Low-Fat, Low-Carb, and Low-Calorie. Within each of those categories, you have specific types of diets. For example, within the low-carb category, you have The South Beach Diet and The Atkins Diet. Both are lowcarb, but the two have different principles and recipes. Same with dating. When it comes to approaching, attracting, and seducing women, you have two general categories: "Indirect" methods and techniques, and "Direct" beliefs and attitudes. Mode One falls under the latter. You seem to want to reduce Mode One to simply, "Hey ... I want to fuck you!," and I'm saying, Mode One is more layered than that. You, and some of the other guys, are looking for that ONE COMMENT or that ONE PHRASE that is going to "work wonders" with every woman that you approach. And the reality is, THERE IS NO SUCH THING. There are no "magic tricks" to attracting and seducing women. If there were, they would have been discovered centuries ago. Since I used the dieting analogy above, it's the same with dieting. Many men and women are looking for a "magic trick" to help them lose weight. Guess what: There are no "magic tricks." All diets require sacrifice to one degree or another. One thing I do that is different than probably 80-90% of the "Gurus" out here is that I tell men reading my book UPFRONT that if you exhbit Mode One Behavior, you're going to get REJECTED MORE than you would if you weren't Mode One, and that you're going to get more HARSH CRITICISMS and NEGATIVE REACTIONS than you would if you were not Mode One. How many authors/experts/gurus tell you that?? Very few, if any. Most of them tell you ... in one way or another .... "if you follow my methods and techniques, you're going to be able to attract and seduce ANY WOMAN you approach ...." BULLSHIT. And then, when you do get criticized and/or rejected, they make you feel like YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG, which means you have to go and buy their sequel, their new CD or DVD, or whatever else they're selling.
I tell men straight up: THERE ARE SOME WOMEN WHO ARE JUST PLAIN AND SIMPLY NOT INTERESTED IN DATING YOU and/or HAVING CASUAL SEX WITH YOU. That's the very first thing you have to realize if you're ever going to be successful exhibiting Mode One Behavior. Many women ... plain and simply ... are GOING TO REJECT YOU. Get used to it. "Then why bother using Mode One if I'm going to be criticized and rejected anyway? I'd rather go with the methods that promise me very little, if any rejection or criticism if that's the case..." Then why be on this message board? More specifically, why bother being in the Mode One Forum? The reason you're here is because deep-down, you feel that if you're going to be rejected ... you would rather not WASTE TIME and/or MONEY before being rejected. That's over half of what Mode One is all about. Not bothering with "manipulative timewasters." You see, that's who you should REALLY be afraid of. Not the women who reject you quickly, straightforwardly, and abruptly. In the long run, those women are actually doing you a FAVOR. The women you need to watch out for are the TIMEWASTERS. These are the women that leave you truly feeling angry, frustrated, and bitter. Not the women who reject you fairly quickly. But again ... this is not a "competition" between Mode One and Direct. There are a lot of specific forms of Direct approaches. David X is one, Mode One is another, and a few other guys out here have their own style of "direct." Mode One is just ONE set of principles under the Direct philosophy.... Define "Regular Game." Because most of the variations that I know of that are usually characterized as "regular game" basically amount to some form of manipulation. As you know, I'm not down with 'tricking' women into bed and/or manipulating them into bed. So you must be fan of Carlos Xuma's philosophies. That's what he said when he was a guest on my show. He said he doesn't really believe in "lying" to women, or misleading them ... but at the same time ... he said he doesn't really believe in being upfront & straightforward about your interest in casual sex. Personally, I disagree with that. For me ... there is no "in-between." Either you're being upfront & straightforward, or you're being misleading and manipulative. Just because you're not BLATANTLY lying to women, or BLATANTLY misleading them doesn't mean you're not misleading them. Classic example: I have a friend in Chicago who likes to debate me about Mode One. Recently, he met a woman who lives in Detroit, Michigan. He talked on the phone with her a few times ... even hung out with her when he came in town for the Chicago Bears AT Detroit Lions game. Later, he had her come to Chicago, and he fucked her. Then ... AFTER HE FUCKS HER ... he tells her, "I'm not really looking for anything 'serious.' I'm just looking to have fun." He really
thought his behavior was "non-manipulative" and "honest." BULLSHIT. Now, this same woman is calling a female friend of his like 2-3 times per week telling her how my buddy "used" her. A couple of times, she literally was crying on the phone. And believe it or not, I'm on the woman's side in this scenario. My buddy mislead her. Did he "lie" to her, and tell her that he was looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship? No. Did he ever ask her to be his "girlfriend?" No. Did he ever deny an interest in casual sex? No. So, on paper, it seems like he was "upfront" and "straightforward" about his desires, interests, and intentions ... right? Wrong. He still mislead this woman. By his ACTIONS. Why wait until AFTER you fuck a woman to tell her you're not looking for anything 'serious'? That's not UPFRONT. That's AFTER-THE-FACT honesty. And this is why I disagree with Xuma's philosophy about "you don't need to tell women you're [just] looking for casual sex." Yes you do. I believe you do. Then, from that point on, a woman can make an informed decision to sleep with you or not sleep with you. Anything else is just a variation of manipulative tactics. I've never said that indirect methods and/or manipulative methods don't get you laid. Don't get it twisted. Any man can easily "pretend" to be interested in having a long-term, monogamous relationship with a woman only to have casual sex with her, and then dump her. If a woman slashes your tires, or shoots at you, why should you care? Mode One breaks down bullshit. That's the whole point. You don't have to match their bullshit with bullshit of your own. I don't consider exhibiting Mode One Behavior as necessarily being "Nice." "Nice" would be Mode Two Behavior. Mode One is being REAL, HONEST, and NON-MANIPULATIVE. Mode One is not a "technique" that works the same way for everyone. crimeSTAR's "version" of Mode One can be completely different from mine, as long as he maintains the underlying attitude of being upfront & straightforward with his romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions with women. I believe in order to be real and genuine, your actions have to match up with/support/be congruent with your words. That's essentially what a bullshitter is. Someone who "talks" a good game, but their actions don't support their words. I don't believe in all talk and no action, but at the same time, I don't necessarily believe in all action and no words whatsoever either. In most instances, you need both. Otherwise, we
wouldn't have been born with a mouth to communicate. She's trying to see if you're going to "back down" on your hardline stance to not be "just friends" with her. Don't fall into the "friend zone" trap. My prediction: At some point in the next few days, weeks, or months ... she's going to hand you the pussy on a silver platter. It amazes me that some guys can read my book ONE TIME ... no more than two or three times .... and TOTALLY GET what Mode One is all about. Then other guys can read my book 10, 15, 20+ times and STILL DON'T GET IT. And "Regular Game?" That has weaknesses that any woman who is a highly skilled manipulative game player could exploit. Your description of "Regular Game": Talk to girl -> get a number -> go on date -> physically escalating on date -> take girl home -> fuck -> relationship Talk to the girl for how long? 5 minutes? 15 minutes? An hour? Two hours? As long as it takes to get an indication from her that she's going to give you the pussy? A skilled manipulator / timewaster will engage you in a lengthy, entertaining conversation ... and make it SEEM like you might be getting the pussy at a later date .... but in reality, you're getting played my friend. Talk to girl -> get a number -> go on date -> physically escalating on date -> take girl home -> fuck -> relationship What's so great about getting a phone number? I've fucked women before I've EVER talked to them on the phone. And on the flip side, I've had many women waste my damn time by engaging me in trivial, inconsequential phone conversations as a result of exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three behavior. Talk to girl -> get a number -> go on date -> physically escalating on date -> take girl home -> fuck -> relationship You must didn't read "Mode One: HARDCORE" did you? And you say you're all about getting laid?!? I would **NEVER** go out on a date with a woman who I just wanted to fuck. Never. I only go out on "dates" with women who I'm interested in a long-term, monogamous relationship with. But if I'm looking for a one-night stand, weekend fling, or some other variation of casual sex ... I very rarely, if ever, make an attempt to go out on a "date." Again, a highly skilled manipulator will have you spending $$$$ and give you no pussy whatsoever at the end of the night Talk to girl ->get a number -> go on date -> physically escalating on date -> take girl home -> fuck -> relationship Can we say, "potential dick teaser?"
Talk to girl -> get a number -> go on date -> physically escalating on date -> take girl home -> fuck -> relationship Why do you have to be at her place or your place to fuck her? Talk to girl -> get a number -> go on date -> physically escalating on date -> take girl home -> fuck -> relationship You've jumped through a lot of hoops just to get laid ... for someone who is all about just getting laid. Talk to girl -> get a number -> go on date -> physically escalating on date -> take girl home -> fuck -> relationship Why are you talking about "missing out on lay opportunities" if you ultimately want a [monogamous] relationship? I'm confused here partner.... There is nothing wrong with approaching a woman with the desire and motivation to have [casual] sex with her. Ultimately, that is why you approach ANY WOMAN. To either have longterm monogamous sex or short-term non-monogamous sex; Here is where the problem(s) come in for many guys: 1) Many guys become too "attached" to the idea of getting laid. In other words, they think literally EVERY WOMAN WHO THEY APPROACH should enthusiastically reciprocate their desire to have sex with them. What I'm saying is, if a woman doesn't reciprocate your desire to have sex with her .... SO FUCKING WHAT. You move on to the next woman. You on the other hand keep talking about "missing out on lay opportunities." You see, being Mode One .... I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. That's like going fishing .... and because you let ONE FISH get away, you start freaking out over it, and say, "I need a better, more effective and efficient fishing technique!!!" No you don't. That's just ONE FUCKING FISH. You simply move on to the next fish. 2) Similar to #1, too many guys "freak out" over being harshly criticized and/or rejected. So what do they do? They try to find seduction methods and "techniques" that will allow them to GET LAID without running the risk of being criticized, rejected, or experiencing a "negative reaction" from a woman. What I'm saying is, WHO GIVES A FUCK if a woman criticizes you, rejects you, or gives you a negative reaction. Who the fuck is she?? I don't ever let rejection from any ONE WOMAN cause me to re-think my whole gameplan. 3) As I said above, how you GO ABOUT GETTING LAID is just as important, if not more important, than IF YOU GET LAID. If I have to lie to a woman, 'trick' a woman, mislead a woman, or generally manipulate a woman in order to get her into bed ... then I don't want the pussy. It's really that simple for me.
I realize a lot of guys just care about the "end result," but I don't. For me, the ends does not justify the means. 4) My fourth and final point is, how can you use your time "efficiently" if you're too busy WASTING TIME with women who are "manipulative timewasters??" This is actually at least 50% of the reason I wrote "Mode One" Was not just to help guys attract and/or seduce more women .... but to help them DECREASE the number of women they waste time with engaging in bullshit "small talk" and manipulative 'head games.' For example, let's say I put you in a room with ten (10) women. All of these ten women fell into one of these four groups [CLICK HERE] 1) Reciprocators (i.e., those women who are ready to fuck you); 2) Rejecters (i.e., those women who have no interest in you, and will not hesitate to let you know); 3) Pretenders (i.e., those women who are interested in you, but will temporarily PRETEND not to be); and 4) Timewasters (i.e., those women who are NOT interested in you, but will temporarily PRETEND to be) Let's say in this room (similar to the hotel room example), 2 of the women are "reciprocators", 3 of the women are rejecters, 3 of the women are pretenders, and 2 of the women are timewasters. I'll give you one hour, or at most, an hour-and-a-half, to identify what women are in what category. How would you do it? I will GUARANTEE YOU that if you were to use "traditional" methods of approaching and attracting women, you would never be able to identify those women in 60-90 minutes. Even if you use what you call "Regular Direct Game," you still wouldn't be able to correctly identify all four categories of women in a 60-90 minute period. Pretty much the ONLY WAY you're going to do it is by exhibiting MODE ONE BEHAVIOR. Otherwise, those two timewasters are going to monopolize the vast majority of your time. And the pretenders are going to play so many 'head games' with you, that you're going to end up frustrated. This is why HOW YOU GO ABOUT APPROACHING WOMEN is MORE IMPORTANT than WHAT RESULT YOU GET. And this is why I keep saying, "Mode One is not just about 'getting laid.'" Whether you improve the effectiveness of your interpersonal communication skills is ultimately up to you. I can provide you with some morsels of knowledge and wisdom based on my personal experiences and observations with the women I've interacted with, but again ... ultimately it comes down to what about your behavior and bad habits are you willing to change? Did you see that "test" she through in there? "Don't piss me off, because if you piss me off, you won't get any pussy..." She's testing you to see if you'll back down on your "cocky talk." To see if you'll wimp out and
retract a lot of your highly self-assured statements. I think you know what my advice is. She wants you to "jump through hoops" to get the pussy. Don't fall for that shit. Leave her alone. If she was never interested in you in the first place, and really just wanted you to play up to her ego, then that's a WIN for you ... because you didn't waste any time and/or money pursuing her timewasting ass. If she is attracted to you to some degree, she's going to "test' you to see how long you can tolerate being ignored by her. If you break down, she's won. If you leave her alone indefinitely, she's going to make an effort to communicate with you either days later, weeks later, or months later. That's what all "pretenders" do. This is what I've been emphasizing time after time after time. It's like a guy eating right, exercising and improving their physique for the SOLE and SPECIFIC purpose of getting laid. If he does that, then the minute he doesn't feel like he's seducing the right quantity and/or quality of women, then he's going to lose his motivation to keep up his good habits. It's the same with Mode One. If your ONLY motivation for exhibiting Mode One Behavior is to get laid, then the moment you feel like you're not getting laid enough, or not seducing the quality of women you think you should get, you're going to stop being Mode One. That's the one "catch" to Mode One. You have to have BRASS BALLS to exhibit Mode One Behavior on a regular, consistent basis with women. That's really the only thing that separates Mode One from Mode Two & Mode Three. The latter two don't take any balls. You have to have courage, confidence and BALLS to be Mode One. You have to have a total insensitivity to harsh subjective criticisms and rejection. And that doesn't happen overnight. It takes weeks and weeks and months and months of consistent PRACTICE. The "reward" of Mode One, other than getting laid? That's easy. I've said it a million times. You don't get misled by women or manipulated by women. You never waste time and/or money pursuing women who have no genuine interest in you. For me, that 'reward' is more important to me than pussy. Everyone has their own opinions. Carlos Xuma, for example, believes in the art of "letting your intentions be known without really expressing them verbally." I personally disagree with that. Too much room for playing games and manipulation. I could be "sensing" that a woman wants me to fuck her, but if I just go ahead and try to fuck
her, she could accuse me of date rape, and say that I "misread" her signals. I'm all about upfront, straightforward interpersonal communication. If a woman doesn't like that, tough. I don't need to be with that particular woman. Women never like to be put in a position where they have to be "definite" and "specific." Remember that. That puts too much responsibility and accountability on them. And they don't like that. Women want room to be "fickle" and/or "wishy-washy." Most women ... and in particular, manipulative women ... love to be indecisive. That is a tool of manipulation. Again, being straightforward prevents them from manipulating guys (and once again, this is not simply my opinion; Over the years, I've had a number of women actually admit this to me and acknowledge it). Women don't like their manipulative power to be diminished. So I don't buy into all of that "men need to keep the mystery in dating rituals" bullshit. I agree that a woman loves a confident, dominant type man over a weak, wimpy insecure type guy. That part is 100% true. But I dont' totally agree that women love to have their ability to mislead you and manipulate you be diminished. "Pretenders" want that manipulative power with you, but if you diminish it, their interest in you is going to grow/increase. They will still be frustrated that you took away their "power," but that will make them all the more intrigued by you. "Timewasters" on the other hand will literally despise you when you diminish their ability to manipulate you. These women were never interested in dating you and/or having sex with you from the get-go. They just wanted to use you and exploit you. So, when you take away their power, they want nothing to do with you. I've experienced both scenarios many times.... I believe women are far more wishy-washy than the average guy is. Even most women I know say that. Women are emotionally impulsive. Much more so than men are. Men are just greedy. There are exceptions of course, but generally speaking, women are more "fickle." A woman will say, "I can't make up my mind .... should I eat the steak, the chicken wings, or the shrimp? I just can't decide!!!" Men on the other hand will say to themselves, "I want to eat the steak, the chicken wings, and the shrimp." But if they're only limited to one choice, they'll try to make the best decision possible ... and in that process, might appear to the outsider as "wishy washy." But really, they're not. Most men know what they want. That is what Mode One Behavior is all about. Eliminating a man's "weak, ineffective behavior"
Mode One = Intepersonal Communication style with women is both STRONG and EFFECTIVE Mode Two = Interpersonal Communication style is WEAK, but generally EFFECTIVE Mode Three = Interpersonal Communication style is both WEAK and INEFFECTIVE Mode Four = Interpersonal Communication style is STRONG, but generally INEFFECTIVE Actually, I'm more so referring to single women. Your descriptions were correctly in line with what I refer to as a "Reciprocator," "Rejecter," "Pretender" and "Timewaster." Pretenders are interested in you ... but they want to see what "incentives" and "rewards" you're going to offer first ... or ... like you said, they don't want to be perceived as "over eager" and/or "promiscuous." Timewasters are not interested in you ... but like Pretenders, they want to see what you're offering. They'll take a free lunch or a free concert from you, and THEN reject you. Operating on emotional whims has everything to do with being fickle. Women will be in love with the captain of the football team during football season and be fascinated with the captain of the basketball team during basketball season. Men can be indecisive at times too, no doubt, but generally, men know what they want. They just get apprehensive on expressing what they want in a direct manner. Mode One rule: The longer a man tries to hide, deny, and/or camouflage his true romantic and/or sexual interests, the more he opens himself up to risk of being mislead and manipulated by highly manipulative women. Of course every woman can vacillate between one category to another, depending on what type of man she is interacting with, her attraction to him (or lack thereof), and her age and experience. Many women go back and forth between being Pretenders and Timewasters, and many go back and forth between being Reciprocators and Rejecters, depending on their level of interest in a particular man. Many Manipulative Game Players become Straightshooters once they tire of playing head games. So yes .... very few women remain in the same category with ALL men. If anything, the less women you have access to ... the MORE IMPORTANT IT IS to be Mode One. Because if you use any sort of 'sly,' slick, misleading, or manipulative tactics with those handful of available women ... your reputation is going to catch up with you. I've seen this happen. A good example is a college campus. I've seen guys "run game" on women ... and in the short run, it looked as though the guys were coming out on top .... but then weeks later, months
later, or a year or two later, those guys pussy opportunities dried up. Their reputation for misleading women caught up with them. With Mode One ... you will have women INITIALLY criticize you or reject you because they'll say things like "You're too forward ....", but more often than not, a good number of those women will turn around and give you the pussy. I've had guys tell me this a NUMBER OF TIMES. You're too desperate and horny for pussy. You've identified problem #1 right there. I tell guys all of the time: If you're really, really horny and desperate for pussy, Mode One Behavior is not going to help you. Mode One only works for guys who are willing to "walk away" from an opportunity for sex. I can tell you're not willing to do that. This is not an issue of "pretending" VS "not pretending." You're the one who says you want to get laid ... RIGHT? What I'm telling you is, very few women are going to have sex with you if they believe you're exceptionally DESPERATE for sex. It's not so much an issue of "pretending" not to want sex "very badly" as much as it's an issue of you have to really getting to a place where you GENUINELY don't need pussy that badly. Your problem is you have TWO CONFLICTING OBJECTIVES. You want to GET LAID VERY, VERY BADLY .... and at the same time ... you want to prove to yourself that MODE ONE WORKS TO PERFECTION (or, conversely, DOESN'T WORK). And this is why you're frustrated. BEING MODE ONE is not specifically synonymous with GETTING LAID WITH EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET. The quicker you understand this, the less repetitive questions you will ask me. I say, plain and clearly in my book, that if a woman is 100% not interested in you, that you are GOING TO GET REJECTED. And I've never wavered from that. There are simply some women who you meet that are NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER GOING TO GIVE YOU SOME PUSSY. I don't care if you're Direct, Indirect, Natural, Scripted, Mode One, Mode Two, or Mode Three. There are simply some women who are not attracted to you, and will NEVER be attracted to you. If you read my book, I never talk about being "smooth" per se. But any man knows, you can't come across as some super horny, perverted "creep" with women. That would be just STUPID. Again, that's not a case of "pretending" not to be perceived as a creep .... you should GENUINELY not want to come across as a 'creep' to any woman. Define "work." See, I think you believe that for Mode One Behavior to "work" means that a woman has to [always] give you a postive, enthusiastic, and/or reciprocal response at some point. And this is what I'm trying to get you to understand: YOU CAN BE FLAT OUT REJECTED BY A WOMAN ... and that can still mean that MODE ONE BEHAVIOR WORKED. For example, when I'm interacting with a "manipulative timewaster," I WANT TO BE REJECTED
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. For me, that would be SUCCESS. Not "failure." So it depends on how you're defining "Mode One working" or "not working". It's all about what your desires, interests, and intentions are. You can't really evaluate what "mode" you're in until you know what your interests are. Here's what most guys don't get: Understanding what Mode One Behavior is, is actually QUITE SIMPLE. When you read my book, you will see ... Mode One Behavior is probably the EASIEST of the four modes to understand. What is more complicated is figuring out why it takes so much COURAGE and BALLS to overcome your fear of rejection and your fear of criticism so that you can truly BE MODE ONE. Discovering how to be Mode One was really easy for me. What was more challenging for me was identifying what "psychological blockers" were standing in my way that had prevented me from exhibiting Mode One IN THE FIRST PLACE. Let's say that all of your interests in women was based on food. So if you like seafood, you only date women who also like seafood. If you like only red meat, you only date women who also like red meat. And so on, and so on. Let's say you meet Lisa. And you are a 100% certified vegetarian. You say to Lisa ... "I'm a vegetarian ... what do you like to eat?" Lisa says, "I like meat, but I love vegetables too." Do you date this woman or no? What if Lisa said, "A vegetarian?!? Only wimpy nerds are vegetarians!! I would never have dinner with you ... wimp!!" Would you start eating meat in order to impress this woman?? What if Lisa said, "I used to be a vegetarian ... and I respect vegetarians ... but I just can't give up chicken and ham." Would you allow her to eat chicken and ham behind your back? What if Lisa said, "I'm not a vegetarian YET ... but if you take me to enough fancy, expensive vegetarian restaurants ... I might just become one!!" Would you spend the $$$ necessary to "convert" her into a vegetarian?? When you examine these questions ... and answer them HONESTLY ... this will let you know where you are, as far whether or not you're ready to be Mode One, content with being Mode Two, or simply so afraid of being rejected and ignored that you resort to Mode Three.
Based on those responses ... assuming you totally understood my questions ... you're not ready for Mode One yet. You're best suited for Mode Two Behavior. Because, if you based who you would date and/or fuck on THE FOOD THEY ATE, you would only pursue women who were vegetarians like yourself. The fact that you would be lenient regarding the women's tastes in food means that you have a lot of "Mode Two" type mindsets and attitudes. You take me for example. If 99% of my attraction to women was based on how similar their taste and preference in food was to my own, I would only date and/or fuck women who ate what I ate. If the women were meat-eaters, they would have to modify their eating habits in order for me to invest time and/or money to share their company. That's the difference between Mode One, Mode Two, and Mode Three; A Mode One man doesn't tolerate ANY CHARACTERISTIC about a woman that's not in agreement with his own desires, interests, intentions, principles, etc. A Mode Two man will tend to "compromise," and sacrifice some of his own desires, interests, intentions, values, principles etc. if it means sharing a woman's company in a romantic and/or sexual manner A Mode Three man doesn't really know what his own desires and interests are, or worse, he attempts to "hide" his true desires and interests from women so they won't know what he REALLY wants from them Using my "food" example, it would work like this: A Mode One man would express to a woman of interest that he was a vegetarian, and his interest was in dating a woman who shared the same interests ... and if she told him that she ate anything other than vegetables, he would leave her alone and move on the next woman. A Mode Two man would express to a woman of interest that he was a vegetarian, and his interest was in dating a woman who shared the same interests .... but if she told him that she occasionally ate meat, or would only eat meat behind-his-back ... he would say, "okay, fine. That's cool." A Mode Three man would never tell a woman what his food interests were because he would be dreadfully afraid that they weren't going to be reciprocated. So essentially, he wouldn't care if she ate raw meat, as long as she gave him the impression that he would one day date her or fuck her You're not "hardline" enough to step up yet to the Mode One plate. You're right: Mode One is about being UPFRONT and STRAIGHTFORWARD ... not just straightforward.
In other words, if I were to talk to a woman for an hour, hour-and-a-half ... and then at the END of the conversation, say to her straightforwardly, "I would love for you to give me a blowjob," that would not be UPFRONT and straightforward. 1) Quit being afraid of being rejected by women. 2) Quit being afraid of 'adverse' reactions, 'negative' reactions, and harsh criticisms from women. 3) Once you've experienced a few adverse reactions, begin to develop creative, witty "comebacks" for them. Women become submissive when you render them speechless. 4) See #1 5) See #2 6) Always know what you want from a woman before you approach her (i.e., one-night stand? weekend fling? indefinite casual sex or "friends with benefits" relationship? a possible girlfriend/boyfriend relationship? etc.) 7) Never apologize or back down from anything you say to a woman ... no matter how provocative it was, how X-rated it was, how 'forward' it was ... whatever. If you think you'll regret saying something later, then don't say it. But if you say it ... don't EVER apologize for it. That's really it. The first thing that got me "addicted" to Mode One Behavior was actually not so much how I felt after seducing a woman and getting laid .... but more so, how I felt after being criticized and rejected. I felt totally unfazed. I didn't give a shit. And that was a euphoric feeling for me. With Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior, you just about always feel angry, frustrated, and/or bitter after a woman criticizes you, insults you, and/or rejects you. Not with Mode One. You just honestly sincerely don't give a fuck. If you notice, when you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three with women ... and they reject you ... they are typically the ones who are calm, cool and collected. Almost in a patronizing or condescending manner. You walk off in a huff. With Mode One, even though it's the women doing the rejecting, they are the ones who are usually PISSED OFF. Think about that. Mull over that. Why are THE WOMEN pissed off, but yet it is THE WOMEN who are the ones who are in control of letting me fuck them or not? Would a bank executive ever get pissed at YOU for turning YOU down for a loan? Can you imagine someone winning a tennis match, and they are the ones who are PISSED OFF??
I talk about this in my new book..... I would never ask a woman "Do you like me?" That's almost like looking for validation from her. The closest I've come to asking a similar question would be, "Are you physically attracted to me...." This is why I always discourage men from just wanting to fuck "any ol' woman." Some women might have STDs, or worse, might be just CRAZY. (Actually, I always tell guys .... one of the downsides of Mode One is that you attract a lot of "stalker" types. When I was Mode Two and/or Mode Three with women back in the day, I never had stalkers. When I started exhibiting Mode One Behavior, I've had a number of them....) Click Here: Barry Kirkey interviews Alan Roger Currie a.k.a. "Mode One" A few people have written me, asking me what is the difference in content between Mode One, Mode One-HARDCORE, and Upfront and Straightforward Mode One - Focuses on how the fear of being rejected and/or ignored causes you to exhibit Mode Three Behavior, how the fear of being harshly criticized and/or disliked causes you to exhibit Mode Two Behavior, and how the frustration of not getting the results you want while exhibiting Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior causes you to be Mode Four with women. This book gives you the fundamental basics for understanding the Mode One Philosophy Mode One - HARDCORE - This book is essentially Chapter Six and Chapter Eight from the original Mode One Book, with more emphasis on how to seduce and break down the average "Wholesome Pretender" and "Erotic Hypocrite," and get women who don't normally indulge in casual sex to have casual sex Upfront and Straightforward - This book is somewhat of an "extension" of the original Mode One, with more emphasis on how and why men and women engage in "manipulative head games" with each other, and how you can identify the head games women play so you won't waste time and/or money pursuing women who are just Attention Whores and Manipulative Game Players; I divide all women into four general categories: Reciprocators, Rejecters, Pretenders and Timewasters. Talk about SNEAKY. It's not what I plan for guys to do with my book ... but I guess if you want to be sneaky and manipulative, and still get laid, I can't criticize guys like this too much. Akaisoras, you'll get a kick out of this guy. An Email I received yesterday: "Alan, I saw on your Facebook page that you are coming out with a new book! Great! I can't wait to read it. My name is Larry, and I live in the Phoenix area. I bought your Mode One book over a
year ago, and your book is the best conversation opener I've ever had!! I try to be bold and straightforward like you say, but many times, I get scared. I just don't want to criticized. So I found a new way to use your book, and I've had good success with it. I approach women, and I say, "You know what? I should go Mode One on you. But I don't think you could handle that." And they say, "What is Mode One?" And I say, "I wish I could tell you. But I can't. It would make you blush like crazy. Either you're going to love me or hate me. And I don't want to risk you hating me." Of course Alan, they get really, really curious about what Mode One is. So I say, "Okay, okay. I'll tell you. There is this guy named Alan Roger Currie (yes, I use your name most of the time!) who wrote about his experiences with women, and his trick is that he just goes up to women, and says really bold, X-rated stuff like 'you have a nice ass, I would love to fuck you doggie style' or 'you have nice lips, I would love to have you give me a blowjob sometime' and I tell them that you have had great success with this. I sometimes lie and tell them that I have had some of the same success that you have had. Then, I watch their reaction. If they frown, I quickly say, "I don't think I can approach every woman in that way." And I see what they say. But you know what Alan? Most of the women keep me in conversation for almost an hour talking about Mode One!!! I've slept with like six or seven women (not that same day I met them, but as early as a day or two later) because it just opens the door to start talking about fucking!!! They usually say, "Oh my God! That guy (you Alan) just says that stuff to women? And women sleep with him? Wow. That guy has balls! And you do this too?" And I say, "yes! Not all of the time, but most of the time" And they look at me like they are impressed. I've had my share of rejections, frowns, and not so great reactions too, but overall, it works almost like magic!! I know this is not how you planned on me using your book, but if the talking about the book itself helps me get laid, that's a good thing, right?? Larry" Now I have to clarify ... what Larry is doing is NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF MODE ONE BEHAVIOR. He is using what I refer to as a "rejection buffer" (i.e., if he gets rejected, he can blame his sexually forward conversation on me and my book) He is essentially being Mode TWO pretending to be Mode ONE. But hey ... if he is achieving his objective of getting laid, I won't hate on him too much.... I never, never, ever, ever said that. Never. I've never said that "indirect" and/or "manipulative" methods of attraction/seduction "don't work." Show me where I've ever said that. Even recently on the Barry Kirkey show, I said, "Manipulative techniques (for attraction and seduction) CAN work ... they are often times effective (for getting laid)..." So don't misquote me.
What I've always said is this: "indirect" and/or "manipulative" methods and techniques only work on women who are naive and generally inexperienced with men. I will ****guarantee**** you ... that if you try indirect and/or manipulative techniques with a woman who is a seasoned, highly skilled manipulator ... YOU ARE GOING TO GET PLAYED. I guarantee you. Women who are highly manipulative know ALL of the "tricks" and "gimmicks" that men use. They know all of them. I've worked with women at the movie studios in Los Angeles/Hollywood that knew more tricks and gimmicks than any man I've EVER met. These women know how to counteract any manipulative tactic that a guy throws their way. The reason I promote Mode One Behavior so much is not necessarily because I believe it's the "only way to get laid." I would never say that or suggest that. But I will say this: Mode One Behavior / straightforward & direct behavior is the only way to get laid without [potentially] getting played. There are only three or four ways you're ever going to get any woman to have sex with you: 1) If that woman has a sincere interest in you, and genuinely wants to have sex with you; 2) If that woman is not really attracted to you or interested in you, but you are offering some sort of worthwhile "incentive" and/or "reward" (e.g., you're offering a monetary favor, offering to give her a job, offering to help her with household responsibilities, etc); 3) You're pretending to be interested in a long-term, monogamous relationship with that woman ... but in actuality, you only want short-term sex and/or non-monogamous sex; 4) You get that woman so sloppy drunk and/or drugged up (e.g., ecstasy pills) that she really doesn't know what she's doing 99.9% chance, if you have sex with any woman, it's going to be because of one of those four reasons. Mode One Behavior only concentrates on reason #1 (i.e., genuine interest). The vast majority of "indirect" methods and manipulative methods usually concentrate on some variation of reason #2 and/or reason #3. Ultimately, the final decision to have sex with a man for reasons #1, #2, and #3 are always going to be in the hands of the woman. Always. I dare anyone to disagree with me. The only scenario in the above four where the woman doesn't really have any decision-making power is reason #4. With all due respect to BadBoy, that is bullshit. I don't care WHO YOU ARE. Ross Jeffries, Mystery, David DeAngelo, Zan Perrion, BadBoy, Neil Strauss ... I don't give a fuck. NO AUTHOR / EXPERT / GURU can ever "guarantee" a 'get laid success rate' of 65-90%. NOBODY. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Kobe Bryant, Tom Brady ... NOBODY. You could take the top male porno stars in the world, and put them in a social environment with non-porno star females, and I guarantee you that they wouldn't fuck 65-90% of the women they meet on a week-to-week, month-to-month, year-to-year basis.
Getting laid should never be "complicated" or "complex." I disagree with that. I'm not all about "morals and values," but I'm definitely about more than simply getting laid. Any guy can get laid. Any guy right now can call up an attractive call girl or erotic escort and get laid. At what price though? Any guy can pretend to be in love with a woman, and mislead her feelings to get laid ... but at what time investment? You see, Mode One is for guys who don't want to waste time or money. Secondly, it's for guys who don't want to be put in a position for women to mislead them or manipulate them. If you're a guy who simply wants to get laid ... and you don't care how much money you spend, how much time you invest, and you are willing to run the risk of having a highly skilled manipulator play your ass ... then there are lot of guys out there teaching shit for you. Mode One is not for you if you fall into this category. And I still stand by that statement. You need to read Stephen R. Covey's book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of the top 2, top 3 best "self help" books I've ever read. In his book, he divides all activities and interactions with other people into three categories: DIRECT CONTROL activities: Those activities where you have TOTAL CONTROL over the outcome and/or result. Examples: Eating right, exercising, reading books to improve your level of knowledge and wisdom, taking a bath, etc. INDIRECT CONTROL activities: Those activities where you have a certain degree of INFLUENCE over the outcome, but ultimately, you need the assistance of other people and/or favorable circumstances to achieve the result you want. Examples: Attracting and seducing women, getting people to buy your products and/or services, getting your basketball players or football players to execute your coaching strategy to perfection in order to win a game, getting a person to be impressed with you in an interview so that they will hire you, etc. NO CONTROL activities: Those activities which you have no control and no influence over the outcome or result. Examples: Accurately predicting the weather, trying to make people act the way you want to when they don't want to, trying to change other people's opinions of you when they don't want to, trying to save a terminally ill person from dying, etc. Interacting with women, and attracting and seducing women, falls into the middle category ... INDIRECT CONTROL. In other words, you can many times INFLUENCE a woman's behavior by what you do, don't do, say, don't say ... but at the same time, you CANNOT [DIRECTLY] CONTROL HER BEHAVIOR. There is a big difference between INFLUENCING someone's behavior and CONTROLLING someone's behavior. You cannot CONTROL a woman's behavior. For that matter, you cannot CONTROL anyone's behavior. Especially a grown adult. Ultimately, people are going to do what they fucking want to do. If a woman wants to give you some pussy ... she's going to find a way to do that. If a woman has no interest in giving you some pussy ... I don't care how handsome you are,
how wealthy you are, how big your dick is, how charming you are ... you're not going to get the pussy. It's as simple as that. No man on this earth has direct control over a woman's behavior. At best, he might have a certain degree of INFLUENCE (i.e., "indirect" control) ... but no man or woman will ever have DIRECT CONTROL over anyone's behavior except their own. What I said has very little, if anything, to do with "destiny." Destiny relates more to "totally out of your control" activities. The third category I mention above. Just about any interaction that involves two human beings is going to fall under the "indirect control" category. Bottom line: You still have not asserted NOT ONE VALID CRITICISM of Mode One Behavior. NOT ONE. Alan Roger Currie has spoken..... I've always been happy with Mode One Behavior. I've been exhibiting Mode One Behavior since roughly 1983, 1984. I never give a woman the impression that I was "kidding" or "joking" about anything I said. If a woman says, "That was rude ....," my general response is either "Based on who's opinion/perception..." or "so you like men to 'sugar coat' their true desires and interests huh...." For a woman to say any man's behavior is "rude" is highly subjective (i.e., based totally on their own opinion/perception). There is no real objective standard for what is "rude".... unless you're going up to a woman and saying something blatantly insulting, such as "You are the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my life ...." Now that would be 'rude' by just about anyone's standards. Simple. You leave the women alone. Whether it's REAL rejection or FAKE rejection. You notice in that scenario, when she said she had a boyfriend, I left her alone. I went about my business. She came TO ME eventually. Rejection is always WIN / WIN. Remember that. You can't "improve" truth. That doesn't even make sense. How can you "improve" the idea of being straightforwardly and unapologetically honest? You can possibly "improve" upon misleading and/or manipulative tactics of attracting and seducing women ... but not nonmanipulative. In Urban slang, we say "it is what it is." Truth is what it is. Not into NLP at all. Once you understand the weaknesses of Mode Two Behavior and Mode
Three Behavior, you begin to naturally identify social intelligence, emotional intelligence, leading, and when to escalate physically with a woman. I don't have to "teach" these things. I'm probably the ONLY "guru" in this Attraction & Seduction Community that starts off his book telling you point blank that if you follow my principles and philosophies, you will more-thanlikely.... 1) ... get rejected by women more than you ever have; and/or 2) ... get harshly criticized by women more than you ever have. How many authors, experts and gurus will openly tell you, "if you use my techniques and methods, you will experience MORE REJECTION than if you didn't follow my methods and techniques?" But if you read the beginning of "Mode One," that's essentially what I tell you. Mode One Behavior, plain and simply, is not a "get-laid-quick" scheme or technique. Anyone who tries to use it as such will be severely disappointed and probably end up frustrated. Among other characteristics, the main benefits of Mode One Behavior is... 1) You will never be afraid of rejection. Rejection will never negatively affect your sense of selfconfidence and/or self-esteem in the manner that both rejection from Mode Two and/or Mode Three does. 2) You will never be afraid of harsh criticism and/or "negative reactions" from women. You will feel like, "so what" when women criticize you. When you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three with women, you try to avoid criticism like the plague. 3) You will quickly and effectively be able to identify women who plan on doing nothing more than waste your time. When you are Mode Two and/or Mode Three with women, you just about always set yourself up to be mislead, manipulated, or at minimum, have your time wasted. The three benefits above is where I will stack my principles and philosophies against ANY OTHER EXPERT's or GURU's principles and philosophies. At least 80-90% of the other "methods" and "techniques" leave guys afraid of rejection, afraid of criticism, and/or vulnerable to manipulation or time-wasting. Almost every one I've heard of or studied. David X is about the only guy who comes close to Mode One in the above three areas. If you went into the average strip club, with women walking around naked or almost naked, you would assume from their BODY LANGUAGE that they want you to fuck them, right? Wrong. Unless those strippers specifically say, "I want you to take me somewhere and fuck me," then you would be ASSUMING a hell of a lot based on body language. This is 90% of the reason I wrote "Mode One." To let men know that unless you're supporting
your body language with direct language, it can be misinterpreted, or worse, women can play with you and fuck with your head. There is really only one reason why any man would be afraid to express his sexual desires and intentions in an upfront and straightforward manner verbally: Because of either a) the profound fear of being rejected and/or b) the profound fear of being harshly criticized. Exhibiting Mode One Behavior should never be associated with saying "lines." Lines are inherently disingenuous and unnatural. Mode One has to be more of a 'mindset' ... an 'underlying attitude' ... a philosophy that guides your words ... rather than a set of pre-rehearsed 'lines' and 'scripts.' I've never felt "unnatural" being Mode One with women .... it's actually just the opposite. I feel MORE natural when I'm Mode One. I feel unnatural in the past when I've exhibited Mode Two and/or Mode Three behavior... I always say ... it depends on what your objective is. If your objective is solely and specifically to get some pussy, then honestly, it doesn't really matter whether you are "direct" or "indirect." Let's start with what you want. For everything you want from someone (e.g. romantic companionship, sexual companionship, financial favors, employment opportunities, etc.), there are really only three ways you can ask for it: - ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT DIRECTLY (Mode One) ex.: You approach the person of interest, and within the first few minutes of the conversation, you let them know what your desires, interests, and intentions are; - ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT INDIRECTLY (Mode Two) ex.: You approach the person of interest, engage in some degree of flattering and/or entertaining "small talk" first ... get them to feel real comfortable being around you and sharing your company .... possibly offer them some sort of "incentive" and/or "reward," such as wining and dining or other monetary favor ... THEN you let them know what your desires, interests, and intentions are; - NOT ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT AT ALL (Mode Three) ex.: You interact with a woman, converse with a woman, but you never really express what is really on your mind; You make every effort to hide, deny, and/or camouflage your true desires, interests and intentions for fear of those desires and interests not being reciprocated; You indefinitely interact with that person as if there is nothing you really want from them; Both Mode One and Mode Two can get you laid. I've seduced women using Mode One Behavior ... and I've seduced women using Mode Two Behavior. My problem with Mode Two/Indirect Methods: Let's say you're interacting with a seasoned,
highly manipulative Timewaster (e.g., Attention Whore, Gold Digger, Dick Teaser, etc.) If you are Mode Two with her, she will know how to get you to spend time engaging in hours of entertaining, but pointless "small talk"; She will know how to use sexual innuendo to make you THINK you're going to get a chance at fucking her, when in reality, you have no chance whatsoever; If she even senses that you're willing to spend money on her in order to "butter her up," she will toy with you until you're buying her tickets to Jamaica. If you are Mode Three, you're dead meat. You will be so used and abused, it won't even be funny. If your objective was to get the pussy, then you will feel angry, frustrated, and bitter once you were Mode Two and/or Mode Three and failed to get the pussy. That shit will bother you. Why? Because deep-down, you knew everything you were doing was bullshit. You knew all of your flattery was bullshit, all of that "entertaining small talk" was bullshit, all of the wining and dining was bullshit. You really just wanted to get in her pants when it was all said and done. Indirect methods/Mode Two only makes you feel good when you SUCCEED. That's it. The only time I ever felt good about being Mode Two with women was when I succeeded in dating a woman and/or fucking a woman. But anytime I eventually got rejected ... didn't get the pussy ... I felt PISSED OFF. Like I had wasted valuable time, and in some cases, money. When you are Direct/Mode One, not only do you feel good when you get laid ... you feel good when you fail to get laid. When I'm Mode One, rejection does not faze me at all. Not at all. I tend to have a "so what" attitude when I don't get the pussy. I just quickly move on to the next desirable woman. Bottom line? The best way to analyze and evaluate the major differences between Direct/Mode One and Indirect/Mode Two is not so much to ask yourself "which method gets you laid the most?" ... but rather to ask yourself, "which method allows you to handle rejection, criticisms, and negative reactions the best?" "which method prevents me from wasting time and/or money pursuing women who are not genuinely interested in me?" The answer to the last two questions is pretty much always Direct/Mode One. Trust me KEYS ... the highly sophisticated attention whores, gold diggers, and dick teasers don't wear a neon sign on their foreheads that say, "Hey everyone! I'm an Attention Whore!!" The ones you can spot right away (without being Mode One) are novices. Most of the top ones are very, very subtle about it. Only a Mode One guy can detect them immediately. But if you're Mode Two and/or Mode Three, you won't see them coming. Most of the time, my age has not been an issue. I've dated women as young as 23, 24 in the last 2-3 years. I rarely volunteer my age though. If specifically asked, I will usually tell, but I don't volunteer my age.
My attitude is, if Mode One could have been summed up in 2-3 pages, I would've simply wrote a 2-3 page pamphlet or newsletter and given it out. In my opinion, you will never truly understand the strengths of Mode One until you fully understand the flaws and weaknesses of Mode Two and Mode Three. I hate it when guys say things like, "Alan, why did you spend so much time on Mode Two, Mode Three and Mode Four in your book? Why not spend 90% of your book talking about Mode One?" I'm not trying to have guys "cut weeds." I'm trying to make you pull the weeds out of the ground. In other words, if you try to change your BEHAVIOR and DIALOGUE with women without changing the invalid beliefs, wrong underlying attitudes, and misguided philosophies that caused your ineffective behavior in the first place, you're not really going to accomplish anything. Before you even think about, "What should I say to this woman in the nightclub?", you should be examining your CORE BELIEFS. Your CORE "BLOCKERS." So Nohadra is correct. You can't narrow down Mode One to simply "You should say this!" and "You shouldn't say that!" Mode One is much more layered and profound than that.... If anyone has read my new book, Upfront and Straightforward, I specifically say in there, "I'm not here to give you specific dating advice..." such as what clothes to wear, how to improve your physical appearance, what cologne to wear, how to be charming, funny, and/or witty, and etc. I tend to assume that the men reading my book have many of the "basics" and "fundamentals" of socializing with women down pat already. Mode One is that "X Factor." I didn't learn how to exhibit Mode One Behavior by sitting at a desk or computer, and analyzing it and overanalyzing the concept of it before taking action. What I did was just kept approaching women like crazy. Specifically, women who were to one degree or another, intimidating to me. Women who I felt might be too educated for me, too wealthy for me, already receiving boat loads of attention from celebrity types and/or professional athletes, etc. And I just concentrated on expressing myself in the most highly self-assured, upfront, and unapologetically straightforward manner as possilble. Out of the four modes, actually, Mode One was where I had my least "analysis." Mode One is really not that "complex" to understand. What is more complex, in my opinion, to understand is all of the psychological factors that go into your FEAR of being Mode One. I spent more time analyzing why I initially leaned towards Mode Two, or why sometimes the fear of being rejected and/or ignored caused me to even be Mode Three. Akaisoras (and others), take Comecuca's advice. You need to be out in the world just being
Mode One with women repeatedly. Don't even concern yourself with the women's reactions, responses, and results you get. Concentrate on consistently expressing yourself to women in a highly self-assured, upfront, straight-to-the-point manner with no apologies. This is the only way you will truly learn all of the nuances of Mode One Behavior. I had a book signing near a beach just North of Los Angeles in August 2006, and there were these two guys who said, "Alan ... your book, Mode One, is probably about 10-15 years ahead of it's time....." I thought about Dr. Atkin's "Diet Revolution" ... the first book written about the low-carb diet. Do you know he first wrote that book in 1972?? His now-famous "low carb" diet didn't become popular until around the mid-to-late 90s. About 25 years after he first wrote it. That's what these guys were saying about Mode One. They said, "Man ... I bet you money that in the year 2020, 2025, the terms 'Mode One', 'Mode Two,' and 'Wholesome Pretender' will be part of the worldwide lingo and jargon. Everyone will be talking about it. But right now, society is not ready for behavior this unconventional...." Time will tell I guess.... The only problem I have with "radical honesty" is the idea that you should be honest with OPINIONATED INSULTS and HIGHLY SUBJECTIVE COMMENTS and CRITICISMS. For example, if you went up to a woman and said, "You are the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my life!," then that might be "honest" in your mind, but that is really an opinionated, highly subjective comment. The main thing I believe in always being honest about is your desires, interests and intentions. Letting people know what it is you want from them, and why you're attempting to share their company for a short period of time, or indefinitely. Thank you for the feedback. But for me, I don't really feel like the problem is that most guys "take Mode One too seriously." I think too many guys put waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much emphasis on "getting laid." Getting laid is not the be all, end all of everything. As I've said a million times, if getting laid is your #1 objective, why not just pay for a call girl or erotic escort? Why not only deal with horny airheads? For me, exhibiting Mode One Behavior goes way beyond simply "getting laid." Pussy will come. MODE ONE BEHAVIOR IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. I've said this before. For some guys, Mode Two Behavior actually might be better. Mode One is for guys who are not in any way shape or form afraid of being rejected by women, ignored by women, and/or criticized by women.
Most guys can't handle harsh criticism from women or negative reactions. As far as all of the other stuff you mentioned, for me it comes down to this: Don't approach women pretending as though you're not looking to get laid, when you know good and damn well that's what you want. That is the DUMBEST THING in this whole "Seduction Community." Like this "Ask a woman for her opinion" shit. What the fuck is that? That is for men with NO BALLS. If I'm going to ask a woman for her opinion, I'm going to say, "Do you think doggie style is better? or Missionary?" All of this "pretending" routines is for cowards. Not only would I say that the vast majority of women are manipulative, I would say that probably 3/4 of the women I know even say that about their own gender. Women tell me all of the time, "All women are manipulative to one degree or another." Here is the difference between a man wanting to get laid and a woman wanting to get laid: - Men just want to get laid. We don't need to be "wined and dined" first, flattered first, or offered some sort of 'incentive' or 'reward' for our sexual companionship. If we did, you would see a hell of a lot more male gigolos and male erotic escorts. - Most women want to be OFFERED SOMETHING for their sexual companionship. Most women who are attractive and sexy are not going to just "give a man" their pussy. First, they're going to see what you're offering. Free lunch? Free dinner? Free concert? Entertaining conversation? Flattery? Long-term commitment? Women expect to be offered something because SO MANY MEN always DO offer them something. Insecure men don't feel like they can attract and seduce women based on their looks, personal charm, and confidence. So therefore, they offer stuff. Tangible things like monetary favors, materialistic gifts, employment offers ... or intangible things like flattery, entertaining attention and companionship, etc. Most women deal with three types of men: - Men who they will fuck regardless of what they offer them; - Men who they will only fuck if they get something out of them; - Men who they will never fuck, even if those guys offer them something; A Mode One guy is a guy who says to a woman, "The only thing I'm going to offer you in exchange for YOUR sexual companionship is MY sexual companionship." A Mode Two / Indirect Guy will offer to wine & dine a woman, flatter her excessively, listen to her bullshit conversations, try to crack jokes to entertain her ... all that shit. And then, if that woman doesn't give you any pussy ... you're going to feel pissed off that you did all that and it didn't result in anything. And even the women you do fuck by being Mode Two ... you usually had to offer something or
give up something. I don't offer women jack shit to fuck them. My attitude is, either you want to give me some pussy ... or you don't. I'm not going to wine and dine your ass, I'm not going to spend 15-20 minutes flattering your ass, I'm not going to spend one or two hours listening to you talk about your dog "fluffy" ... fuck that. I don't need your pussy that badly. You're missing women's priorities. Men: 1) We want to get laid. 2) We want to make money and have a job ... so we can get laid. 3) We want to take care of our bodies ... so we can get laid. 4) We want to have a certain degree of fame, recognition and respect ... so we can get laid. and so on, and so on. Women: 1) They want to desired and flattered. 2) They want to be perceived as 'good girls' 3) They want to have their way. 4) If you spoil them and let them have their way, they're not going to really want to fuck you. Unless you're paying them big bucks. If you don't spoil them, they perceive you as an intriguing challenge, and want to fuck you. If you fuck them, and don't give them shit and don't make an effort to date them long-term, you will be labeled a "jerk" or an "asshole." 5) They want a number of male platonic friends who they can vent to, and criticize the "jerks" and "assholes" in their life to. Do women want to fuck like men? Yes ... and no. Getting laid for women is not their #1 priority. Trust me on this. Women are whore for attention more than sex or money. Women love flattering attention in the same way we love pussy. A woman can go to a nightclub, have fifteen guys tell her that she is "hot," "beautiful," "sexy," and so on, and that will literally make her night. She can go home and sleep well. Men don't value compliments like that. We want the sex. We could give a fuck about going to a nightclub and just soaking up flattering attention. Men: Pussy/Casual sex > Flattering attention and/or entertaining companionship Women: Flattering attention and/or entertaining companionship > Casual sex In the same way you believe I tend to "overemphasize" how misleading and/or manipulative women can be, I feel just the opposite. I think most of the Seduction authors/experts/gurus "underemphasize" it. For every woman who is looking to just meet a great guy, get to know him, and either have a relationship with him or casual sex with him, there are probably three-to-five women who will
PRETEND like they're genuinely interested in you, but really just want enthusiastic and flattering attention, or monetary favors. Over half of the reason I wrote Mode One was to help men avoid wasting time with the latter group. Because realistically, if 80-90% of the women in society fell into the former group, there would really be no need for advice from guys like myself, and most of the other guys in the Attraction & Seduction Community. There would be no such thing as "Frustrated Nice Guys." That's the #1 demographic group I first wrote my book for: The "frustrated nice guy." The guy who had enough charm and confidence to approach women, but kept getting put into the dreaded "friend zone." He goes out on one, two, three or more dates with women, but he can't even get a tongue kiss. That is who my book is most targeted to. Not the "total loser" type. I didn't learn about body language from reading a book. I learned from approaching new and different women on a weekly, if not daily basis. Body language is best learned from actual, inthe-field EXPERIENCE. I could have two chapters in my book on body language, but for the most part, that won't help most guys. You have to first learn how to read WOMEN'S body language, and then you will learn to develop the nuances of your own body language. I refer to my two paragraphs above once again. I didn't write Mode One to help out the "total loser with women" types. If some of those guys are helped by my book, I'm all the glad for it. But mainly, I wrote Mode One for those guys who had most of the "basics" down, but kept ending up as a woman's "play brother" and indefinite platonic friend instead of her lover or boyfriend. Truthfully, I don't get too many Emails from guys who are just super-duper loser types. That may be like 5%. Most of the guys who seek my advice have basic social skills. They know how to initiate a conversation, be relatively charming and entertaining, and get a woman to feel comfortable in their presence. The guys I generally hear from are those who make the mistake of not being provocative enough; Engaging in way too much "small talk"; Afraid of bringing up sex too quick and/or too frequently. Basically, your average "Mode Two Nice Guy" type. The women who are real, down-to-earth, non-manipulative, and genuinely looking for good male romantic and/or sexual companionship are few and far between (depending on what city/state/country you live in). No less than 50-60% of the women out here are mainly looking for entertaining platonic companionship and flattering attention, if not gifts and favors. Essence magazine did a whole magazine article on how manipulative women are a few years back. Women I knew in L.A. and worked with told me subtle tactics of manipulation that even I didn't know about at the time. At the risk of generalizing, most "hot" women are looking to manipulate guys. The women who are 8s, 9s and 10s ... they're not going to just give up their companionship easily. They're going to first look to have a guy "jump through hoops." That's why I wrote Mode One. Men offer women shit for NO [valid] REASON other than the
fact that they have no true confidence. Men with true confidence and self-esteem don't offer women jack. Loser types are the ones offering women favors, flattery, and fake platonic friendships in exchange for attention and companionship. Totally disagree with that notion of "only a small amount will do that." I don't know where you live, but where I'm from ... that is totally untrue. The majority of women look to mislead men, manipulate men, toy with them, play games with them, and get tangible and intangible favors from them. The genuine women are the ones in the minority. Most really, really attractive women get so much flattery thrown their way, so many offers to be wined and dined thrown their way, that they can't help BUT to be tempted to take advantage of all of that attention. Getting laid is a much higher priority for men than it is for women, if you're talking about casual sex. Now for long-term relationships? Not so much. Women will straight-up tell you they want the dick when they're in a relationship. Women think about RELATIONSHIPS ... yes. But not so much [casual] sex. Most women are afraid of casual sex. They don't want their feelings hurt, and they don't want to be called a "ho" or a "slut." So they don't look at casual sex like men do. Not at all. If a man is not attracted to a woman, he generally doesn't want to be bothered with them. If a woman is not attracted to you, she STILL is going to want flattering attention from you and favors from you. That's the difference between men and women. Men don't make efforts to spend time with women who we don't want to date or fuck. A woman will. A woman will keep a stable of as much as 15-20+ guys that she has absolutely NO INTEREST in dating or fucking. I had a college classmate just admit this to me about a week-and-a-half ago. She said, "Alan, I would go crazy if I didn't have my platonic male friends. That's who keeps me entertained when I'm bored and lonely. They keep my ego boosted when I'm down. I have no desire to have sex with these guys, and that's why I feel comfortable calling them all the time." Could you ever picture a MAN saying some shit like that? 99.9% chance, no. Are you talking about women who want to fuck you, or don't want to fuck you? If a woman wants me to fuck her, then of course she wants the dick more than flattery. But when a woman DOESN'T want to fuck you, she's not going to simply dismiss you and ignore you. See my statements above. You're missing my point. I'm not saying that the ONLY reason why we want to make money or keep our bodies in shape is for pussy, but it's definitely a contributing factor. What I am saying is, when men want to get laid, we want to be upfront about it. We're not going to postpone getting laid in order to seek flattery or monetary favors. Women will do that.
Women want the dick. Make no mistake about that. But answer me this: What percentage of women you know just walk up to you and say, "Can you please fuck me?? PLEASE??" Very few. Women go more out of their way to "hide" their horniness than men do. By far. Why? Because they either first want to see if they can get something out of you, or at minimum, they don't want to be perceived as promiscuous. And as I just pointed out to Oliver, the biggest difference is more in their behavior towards the guys they DON'T want to fuck. This is what I call "Timewasters." When men don't want to date a woman or fuck a woman, we generally ignore them. Unless they are a good friend from school or a co-worker or a neighbor. Otherwise, we ignore women we have no interest in. Women don't do that. Women will make just as much of an effort to keep guys around them who they DON'T want to fuck as they will to hook up with guys they do want to fuck. I literally know dozens of women who have 5, 10, 15, 20+ male friends who they spend time talking to and hanging out with on a monthly or weekly basis who they have never dated, never slept with, and never will. That's how women are. If you're Mode Two or Mode Three with women, those "Timewasters" will have you thinking that "ONE DAY" you might score. Trust me ... you won't. If you had no fear of rejection ... no fear of harsh, subjective criticisms ... no fear of 'negative reactions' from women ... and you always expressed your romantic and/or sexual desires to women in a highly self-assured, upfront, unapologetic and straightforwardly honest manner ... then you would already be Mode One. Straightforward honesty is the #1 component of Mode One. Without honesty, you're Mode Three. Mode One is about always letting people know why you're really interested in sharing their company. It's that simple. If I'm interacting with you because I want to borrow some money from you, but I'm pretending that I genuinely want to be your good friend, then that is disingenuous. This is what many men do with women, and vice versa. Many men "pretend" like they don't want to get in a woman's pants, when they know damn well that they do. Why? I don't pretend to have one set of desires, interests and intentions when I know I have a totally different set of desires and interests. I have "guidelines" for Mode One more so than "strict rules." I don't really have too many "strict rules." You're being Mode Three. If you wanted to call a woman on a certain day, and you didn't, that
would be representative of Mode Three Behavior. You want to do something, but you don't for fear of an adverse reaction to it. What you would want to do is get to a place in your life where you are NATURALLY not in desperate need of a woman's attention and companionship constantly. I don't believe in "pretending" not to be needy. I believe in genuinely NOT BEING NEEDY. If there is one area where I do, to a small degree, believe in putting on a facade ... at least temporarily ... is when it comes to this concept. I don't think you should ever tell a woman, "I'm lonely, I haven't had a date in six months, and I haven't had sex in two years." I'm not suggesting a man lie per se, but I do believe in the short-run, you should always present a demeanor that says "I have many options." How do you do that without lying to women? You don't take any shit from them. You're quick to walk away from a conversation when you're not getting the feedback that you're looking for. You see, the biggest difference between men who get a lot of pussy, and men who are desperate for a woman's attention and sexual companionship, is that the latter group tends to take more unnecessary shit from women. They're willing to "jump through hoops" to share a woman's company. A man who gets a lot of pussy will never allow himself to be disrespected, taken for granted, or have his time wasted. He will let that woman know through his ACTIONS more so than his words that, "I don't NEED to fuck you. I WANT to fuck you, but I don't NEED to fuck you." If I'm not Mode One 100% of the time, then at minimum, I would say 85-90% of the time. I might have my "Mode Two" moments here and there. I don't think I'm ever Mode Three. The downside to being Mode One (with women)? You get criticized more by women. But because I understand where the criticism is coming from, it doesn't bother me. You get rejected quicker. Again, it doesn't bother me, because rejection for me is always "win / win." That's the greatest benefit for me. When I get rejected when I'm Mode One, I never feel "pissed off" or frustrated. Never. When I get rejected after being Mode Two and/or Mode Three, I always feel pissed off. The second benefit is that Mode One helps me identify disingenuous people very, very, very quickly. When you are Mode Two and/or Mode Three, you have a harder time identifying people who are full of shit. I know within a matter of minutes, if not seconds, who is going to waste my time. I also know who I can escalate with quicker. I know the genuine "good girls" from the kinky freaks PRETENDING to be "good girls." I don't have strict rules. You can do whatever you want, as long as it's honest and genuine. If you don't want to give a woman the impression that you have many options ... then plain and simply, don't. But I don't believe in pretending like you don't want to call a woman if you really want to. "Pretending" to not be needy will never work or last in the long run. You have to genuinely not
be needy. You need more activities in your life, more hobbies, or even more women. I define "needy" as anytime you give a woman the impression that you're willing to sacrifice more on your end to interact with a woman, and maintain a relationship with her, than she's willing to sacrifice for you. If you're willing to sacrifice spending time with your male friends, but she is not willing to sacrifice spending time with her female friends, then you are being needy. I don't "jump through hoops" for no woman. That's what being needy is. When you essentially let a woman know, "I will do ANYTHING to maintain your attention and companionship. I will bark like a dog if you tell me to. I will cash in my IRA retirement account and give you the money if you want me to. Just please don't ignore me or deny me your attention and companionship!!" That's needy. You need to ask yourself and examine why you feel "lonely." Self analysis is always a good thing. You can probably work out your own feelings better than I ever could, but in a nutshell, you need to ask yourself, "Why am I so drawn to this particular woman? If she were to indefinitely ignore me, why would it hurt me?" The answers will come with the right questions to yourself.... Think of a woman you are just flat-out not attracted to. I'm talking, you would never date her or have casual sex with her. What could that woman do within the course of a thirty-minute, sixty-minute or longer conversation that would change your mind? I'm not talking about a woman you have some degree of "suppressed" interest in. I'm talking, you have literally NO INTEREST in dating this woman or fucking this woman. Either because she is ugly, fat, HIV-positive, etc. I didn't say that this woman would "more-than-likely" not be interested in you. I didn't say that there was a "90% chance" that this woman won't date you or have sex with you. I said that that there is literally a ZERO PERCENT chance of him getting this woman to date him or have sex with him. NO CHANCE AT ALL. And he refuses to answer the question as is. You know why? It's the same tactic that all of these indirect/manipulative-method Seduction "gurus" use to sell books, CDs, DVDs, etc. You see, most of those guys would never tell you upfront that there are some women you'll
never be able to attract. Never. Why? Because you would never buy their shit. Especially their 2nd book, 3rd book, 4th book, 2nd CD, 3rd CD, 4th CD, etc. These guys want you to feel as though if a woman is not interested in you, then it's because YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING "WRONG" and/or FAILING TO DO SOMETHING THEY TOLD YOU TO DO. That's how they get guys to follow their methods and techniques, and become repeat customers. You bought my book and didn't seduce every woman you wanted? Buy my 2nd book!!! New and improved techniques!!! If you can't seduce every woman you meet after reading my 2nd book, then there is just something you're not getting! We Guarantee it!!!! What?? Didn't seduce 99% of the women you meet with the advice from my original book and 2nd book? THen you need my "personal instruction" CD and DVD!!!! Then you will be a MASTER OF SEDUCTION!!!! What they're doing fellas is not helping you seduce women ... they're actually SEDUCING YOU. As a naive customer. If these guys told you what I tell you, they would lose money. That's why those "seduction guru" types will never tell you that there are some women who are just 100%, flat-out, NOT INTERESTED IN DATING YOU or HAVING SEX WITH YOU. I do believe you can get a woman who is not interested in having a conversation with you to lighten up and have a conversation with you. I do believe you can get a woman to engage you in a 10 min, 15 min, 30 min or longer conversation who might have initially had no interest in such a conversation. But when it comes to exchanging orgasms? If a woman is 100% not interested in you, then she's just not. I don't care what anyone tells you. If you think right now you can read a book, follow methods and techniques, and then go out and seduce Britney Spears, Halle Berry, Jessica Alba, and any other super attractive actress, singer, model or entertainer, you are more naive than I thought. Wholesome Pretender? Yes. You can turn what appears to be "zero interest" into interest. Those women are hiding their attraction for you and/or suppressing their attraction for you. Those women you can convert and seduce. A true Timewaster? You will never convert them. Never. And even if you could, just for argument's sake, it would require such a high investment of time and/or money that it wouldn't even be worth it. That is a MYTH. And a myth that needs to stop. Women DO CARE about men's physical
appearance. They had a survey that came out about 3 or 4 years ago that involved Match.com profiles, and they found that women not only care about looks as much as men ... but they actually put MORE emphasis on looks than the men did(!) In this survey, the men studied profiles ... and even though they favored women who were good-looking, they were also willing to go out on a date with many of the women who were "average" looking or "less-than-average" looking. The women involved with the survey, the results found, placed a slightly higher emphasis on men's looks. The only exception was if the guys were very wealthy (earning a six-figure salary or higher). It's not so much men put "more" emphasis on looks than women, but it's more so that there is not too many other factors that we put ABOVE looks when it comes to our attraction for them. Example of priorities: Men's priorities in their attraction to women 1) Physical appearance 2) Their sense of femininity and sex appeal 3) General personality / how easy they are to get along with 4) Potential to raise good kids, if thinking about marriage 5) Their sense of humor 6) Their sense of loyalty and support Women's priorities in their attraction to men 1) Ability to provide financial stability and security, assuming an interest in marriage 2) Their overall sense of masculinity / self-confidence 3) Their ability to satisfy them sexually in bed 4) Their physical appearance 5) Their level of ambition / career success 6) Their sense of humor and wit Now this is not scientific; Just an example. But in these examples ... just because looks is #4 on a woman's list (compared to #1 on a man's list) doesn't necessarily mean that women "don't care about looks AT ALL." I know from talking to women. Women most surely pay attention to a man's physical appearance. The main difference is, there are a lot more things that can COMPENSATE for a man's lack of good looks than there are things that can compensate for woman's lack of good looks. For most men, if we perceive a woman as unattractive ... then 90-99% chance, we're going to lose interest. For most women, if they perceive a man as unattractive, then they will say, "Is he masculine? Is he self-assured? Does he earn a good living? Is he ambitious? Is he good in bed? Will he protect
me from danger? Is he funny?" and so on and so on. All that to say this: Don't ever make the mistake of saying that "women don't care if a man is handsome or not." That is simply not true. Especially if you're talking about CASUAL sex. All guys want to get laid. I don't think anyone here is denying that. Again, every guy on here WANTS to attract women ... and to one degree or another, WANTS to seduce women. There is no argument there. The difference is how much emphasis you put on it, and more specifically, how you go about achieving that objective. You take money. Who on here doesn't want money? All of us want money to one degree or another. But not all of us "worship" money. Some guys have jobs solely and specifically to earn money. Other guys have jobs that earn them money, but the money they earn is not their #1 priority. They genuinely enjoy their job. They wouldn't rob a bank for money, or run a scam on naive people to earn money. Same with seducing women. I love pussy as much as any guy on here, but I'm not going to lie to a woman to get her to want to fuck me. I'm not going to engage in "manipulative head games" to try to 'trick' a woman into giving me some pussy. I want pussy, but I don't NEED IT that bad from any one woman. That's what I'm saying. It's okay to want to attract and seduce women, but there has to be something MORE IMPORTANT than the pussy itself. Otherwise, you would do ANYTHING for pussy. You would drug a woman to get pussy. You would get her sloppy drunk to get pussy. You would pretend you want to marry a woman to get pussy. I never want to be in that latter category. I've always said ... Mode One Behavior is more of an "X-factor" than it is a "solve-all-of-yourdating-problems" type solution. When I talk about Mode One, I tend to assume that most guys know the "basics," such as keeping up their physical appearance, having goals and objectives regarding their career and finances, have a pretty decent personality and sense of charm, etc. Mode One was originally written for guys who had what it took to attract women as platonic friends ... but not that "edge" it took to convert those women into girlfriends or sex partners. If a guy doesn't even have the basics down pat, then there are a number of books out there (can't think of specific titles at the moment) that are designed to help men in this area. Even magazines like "Men's Health" and "GQ Magazine" help men in these "basic" areas. I've had at least a couple of the guests on my talk radio show, Upfront and Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie (such as Dr. Lee Kane and Doc Love), stress the importance of having
the "basics" down pat before looking for advanced education. You said it right Altitudes: A lot of guys in this "Attraction & Seduction Community" just want to make money. They want guys who are "total loser" types to believe that they can become an "overnight ladies' man" or "overnight womanizer" in a matter of days or 2-3 weeks. And realistically, it's not going to happen. If you're a 'total loser' type, it's going to take you months, and even years before you start seeing marked improvements in your love life, sex life and social life. That's why I always try to be as realistic as possible in my advice to men on here Now don't get me wrong ... I've had my share of "same day seductions" (as most of you know by my "M1-Backstory" link), but I just don't want any guys to think that 'same day seductions' will happen 90-100% of the time. They usually won't. Here is where Mode One will seem to work like "magic": Say you're in a nightclub or social venue, and there is this woman in there who just has a thing for guys who are self-assured and straightforward about their interests. If you're Mode Two .... you will not turn her on. If you're Mode Three ... you probably won't even approach her. If you're Mode Four ... you'll be standing somewhere with a male friend saying, "Look at all of these stuck up bitches in here...." If you're Mode One ... you will approach, express your interests ... and BAM! She will be sucking your dick in the parking lot in your car, or later at your place or her place. I get Emails from a lot of guys who have experienced these sort of scenarios, and this is when they become "addicted" to Mode One. They're like, "Wow ... this stuff works like magic with some women!!!" Many guys don't get this: Women don't wear neon signs on their forehead that says, "Please approach me so you can seduce me!" Unless she's a straight-up ho. The other women have those desires to be fucked, but they're waiting on guys to be REAL MEN. So yes Comecuca ... I realize that guys are having great success seducing women rather quickly, and I'm glad for that. But again, I don't want to give too many guys "unrealistic hopes" who are looking at Mode One strictly as a "seduction technique." When I was younger, I pretty much thought all women fell into two categories: 1) Your proverbial "good girls" (i.e., the women who would only have sex with you if they were married to you, engaged to you, or at minimum, were in a long-term exclusively committed
relationship with you) or 2) The "kinky freak" types (i.e., women who would have sex with you even if you weren't in a relationship with them) I was pretty much always Mode One with the "kinky freak" types. Starting probably with my Senior Year in high school and/or Freshman Year in college. But I was almost just the opposite with the "good girl" types. With the "good girls," I would always try to be "Mr. Perfect Gentleman" around them. Then, I realized that over half of the women in the "good girl" category were really "Wholesome Pretenders" (i.e., 'kinky freaks' pretending to be 'good girls'). Once I realized what a Wholesome Pretender was and an Erotic Hyprocrite, that's when I truly realized the NEED and VALUE of Mode One Behavior. Talk Dirty To Me and Talk Dirty To Me, Part II were eye openers for me. That opening scene with the female doctor in Part I? I've had interactions with probably 15-20 "Wholesome Pretenders" where our interaction unfolded JUST LIKE THAT. Me - Would open the conversation Wholesome Pretender (WP) - respond to my opening comments Me - Would express my sexual desires and interests boldly and straightforwardly WP - Would get defensive and uncomfortable; Start harshly criticizing me Me - Would smirk in their faces, and keep saying stuff like, "So does this mean you're not going to let me fuck you before the month is over?" or something like that WP - More harsh criticisms Me - Write down my number or give them a business card and say something like, "Give me a call when you're ready for me to fuck you..." Many I would end up fucking that same day; If not that same day, a few days or 2-3 weeks later. The more WPs I met, the more addicted I became to Mode One. I started feeling like, "Damn! It seems like three out of every seven women I meet is a Wholesome Pretender!!" The other thing that changed my perspective on women is being "the other man" (i.e., the guy who is fucking a woman who already has a boyfriend, fiance', or husband). Once you see women's behavior from the "other man" perspective, honestly, it makes you see them in a whole new light. Women are very calculating. They plan shit out strategically. When men cheat, it's more or less impulsive. We just do it. Women plan their shit out very cleverly. A woman could be fucking her boyfriend's next door neighbor, and if you're her boyfriend, you would never know it. Generally speaking, good feedback ... but I want to clarify: there is a difference between an "Attention LOVER" and an "Attention WHORE" An Attention Lover (almost all women) is someone who simply wants and loves flattering
attention. No major criticism there. An Attention WHORE is a woman who gives men the misleading impression that she's going to eventually have sex with them in order to motivate those men to give her more flattering attention. One of the top 2-3 reasons why I'm so critical of Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. Women who are highly skilled manipulators ... and particularly, Timewasters (i.e., Attention Whores, Dick Teasers, Exploiters, Users) will suck you right into their trap when you are Mode Two and/or Mode Three. Many guys think Gold Diggers are the #1 type of manipulator. I would probably rank women who manipulate for money and financial favors second. Women who manipulate men for entertaining companionship and flattering attention as well as getting guys to be in their platonic "Fun Club" of "play brothers" is #1 in my experience and observation. I could give two flying fucks about being Halle Berry's "platonic friend." I know guys who would literally jump at the chance to be Ms. Berry's "play brother." Fuck that. If we're not dating, or she's not sucking my dick or giving me some pussy ... I could care less. When I used to post on AskMen.com (the site where the popularity of my eBook version of Mode One first exploded) between 2003 and 2005, I once started a thread about this very scenario. It was like the 2nd or 3rd most responded to thread on AskMen.com for the entire year of 2003. I talked about "FunClubbing" and being hardline against women sucking you into their "Fun Club". I described one or two scenarios similar to Larrikin's. The men went NUTS!! They were totally enlightened. The women HATED ME for writing it. They started calling me names and everything. Fellas, it was scenarios like this that first started getting me "addicted" to Mode One. In the mid-to-late 80s and early 90s, I must've had 8-10 scenarios just like what Larrikin described. I would tell a woman, "Look ... I didn't approach you to become a 'play brother' to you ... fuck that. If we're not fucking, you will never hear from me again." Just like Larrikin said, at first ... they walk off in a huff. Won't call you, won't contact you, nothing. Then days later ... weeks later ... or months later ... those women CAN'T WAIT to give you the pussy. For some guys, that term is actually too harsh. The real "losers" are those guys who lie to women and 'trick' women into bed. The men who we usually call "losers" are really just guys who are totally inexperienced with women. All of us are at that point at SOME POINT in our life. Whether it be middle school, high school, college, after college, twenties, thirties, or even forties. You're right Larrikin ... a guy who is severely inexperienced with women is not a true "loser." But a guy who is lazy, doesn't want to learn, and just wants to use 'tricks' and 'gimmicks' on women is still a 'loser' in my book.
You have to HAVE BALLS ... or be willing to GROW BALLS ... to be Mode One. Otherwise, I say stick to Mode Two Behavior. Many men and women tell me that Mode One Behavior is simultaneously "very simple" and "extremely complex." It's like [American] football. In one sense, it's simple. Score more points than your opponent, and you will win. Sounds "easy," right? But when you get into all of the advanced complexity of the offensive strategies and defensive strategies, it becomes complex. Why? Because of all of the obstacles standing between you and your goal/objective. Same with Mode One. The concept of Mode One is easy: Always express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in the most highly self-assured, upfront, unapologetic and straightforwardly honest manner as possible. What makes Mode One "complex" is all of the invalid beliefs, ineffective attitudes, and psychological "blockers" you have to rid yourself of first. Again, that's why I spent so much time discussing Mode Two Behavior, Mode Three Behavior and Mode Four Behavior in my "Mode One" Book. Once you get past all of your mental "obstacles," actually Mode One IS "easy" to grasp. It's like learning how to drive a car with manual transmission. At first, that seems hard as hell. Once you get the hang of it though, it becomes like second nature.... I've said this on my show a few times: Exhibiting Mode One Behavior is not representative of "learning" a "new form of behavior." IT'S JUST THE OPPOSITE. Becoming Mode One is actually about UN-LEARNING the various forms of invalid and ineffective behavior that you've been socially conditioned and programmed to incorporate into your habits for all of your life. It's like thinking of Mode One Behavior as your "core," so to speak, and you have all of these dozens and dozens of 'layers' of invalid beliefs, unproductive attitudes, fearful thinking ... and you have to slowly peel away each and every one of those layers until you return to your CORE SELF. You have to un-learn all of your bullshit behavior to get to your REAL BEHAVIOR. I've been reading a few posts, and I see that many guys still associate Mode One Behavior with how "brief" your conversation is. That is a misinterpretation. You could have a Mode Two conversation that is 10-15 minutes, and a Mode One Conversation
that is 45 minutes to an hour. How long or how short your conversation is has very little to do with whether or not you're Mode One, Mode Two or Mode Three. I could go up to a woman and say, "Hi ... how are you today?" (she responds, "great!") and I say, "Good ... take care." Now, that was a very "short" interaction, but that was not Mode One. Mode One You state your desires, interests, and intentions in the early part of the conversation, and then you let the conversation take off from there. That could be 5 min, 10 min, 20 min, 45 min, an hour or longer. Mode Two You first look to engage in "entertaining small talk" and 'general interest'-type conversations FIRST .... and then as you feel the conversation coming to a close, you express your desires, interests and intentions in a cautious, beat-around-the-bush type manner That could be a 5 min conversation, 10 min, 20 min, 45 min, an hour or longer Mode Three Your entire conversation is bullshit small talk. You never make one attempt to let the woman know what your true interests are, and why you're REALLY talking to her. That could a 5 min conversation or a 2 hour conversation Get that? Guys have to understand: Mode One is not a manual you read in the manner of, "Okay, do this first ... do that second ... do this third ..." and so on. Mode One is a holistic philosophy that you have to absorb and incorporate in your total belief system. Some guys are trying to attach "new branches" on to an old tree. I'm saying, "Grow a whole new tree (of underlying beliefs and attitudes)." A lot of guys took my advice of "don't engage in trivial small talk" as if I were saying "never have a long conversation with a woman." I never said the latter. I'm saying don't have a long BULLSHIT conversation. This is what gets most Mode Two guys in trouble. They allow themselves to be sucked into lengthy BULLSHIT conversations full of nothing but trivial, but entertaining small talk.
It's like a guy going into a bank, and saying, "I'm here to apply for a mortgage loan," and the guy and the loan officer talk for 90 minutes about mortgage rates, interest, payments, etc. Then you have another guy going into the bank, and talking about his dog, his ex-girlfriend, his favorite TV shows and movies, the last book he read, his failed diet, what school he went to ... all for an hour or longer ... and then finally, the loan officer says, "What are you here for?" He says, "A new car loan," only to have the bank rep say, "Oh, sorry ... we don't do new car loans at this branch. You'll have to go to the main branch for that." The 2nd guy just wasted all that time in an unproductive conversation. That's what so many men do with women. They talk about bullshit that has nothing to do with dating a woman or fucking them. I never said that you have to reveal your desires, interests and intentions to women in the "very first second" in order for your behavior to qualify as Mode One. But it should definitely be in the early stages (e.g., first 5-10 minutes or so) Language and/or length of conversation are irrelevant. You can be Mode One using PG language or Mode One using X-rated/XXX-rated language. On the manipulation piece, it's like this: The more misleading, vague and/or ambiguous you are in expressing your desires and intentions to a woman ... the more you open the door for her to do the exact same thing. It's really that simple. Example: A woman can give you sexually provocative body language that might give you the [misleading] indication that she wants you to fuck her, only for you to make a move on her, and she slaps you and says, "What the fuck are you doing?" It's like if you went to a strip club, and jumped up on the stage trying to seduce and fuck a stripper. You might argue, "Well, she was looking at me with seductive eyes ... she was playing with her pussy ... she was shakin' her ass in my face ....." Uhm ... SO. She is PAID to do that dumb ass. It is much easier for women to be misleading and manipulative with their body language than the average man. Men are usually misleading and manipulative with their words more so than with their body language. It's in this area where Carlos Xuma and I disagreed. Xuma basically said that you don't necessarily need to tell a woman verbally that you want to have casual sex. You just wait for her give you body language signs that she wants to have [casual] sex, and you take it from there.
I disagree with that. I feel like you should always lay your intentions on the table upfront. I have a friend who not too long ago got involved with "drama" because of not being upfront. He met a woman ... they flirted over a period of days and weeks ... then finally, he fucked her. She was thinking that this was the BEGINNING of something special (i.e., a long-term relationship) ... on the other hand, once he fucked her 2 or 3 times, he didn't call her anymore. When she started bugging him, he said, "look ... I'm not looking for anything long-term or monogamous." His argument to me (and her) was, "I never told her I was looking for a relationship...." but my attitude is, "You also never told her that you WERE NOT looking for a relationship (before you fucked her)." So in that scenario, I'm on her side as far as who has the valid criticisms. If I know I only want casual sex, I tell women that before I fuck them. I'll clearly say, "I'm not looking for anything serious or monogamous...." And if they are down with the program, I proceed.... I've noticed that a lot of guys on here almost use "attraction" and "interests" interchangeably. Those two are not the same thing. Example: I can meet a woman who is physically attractive, has a great personality, good hygiene, intelligent, etc. More-than-likely, I would be ATTRACTED to this woman. But if she tells me that she is looking for a boyfriend that will tie her up once per week, beat the shit out of her, pour cow blood on her, and all sorts of other crazy BDSM type stuff, I will NOT BE INTERESTED in sharing her company. Don't confuse attraction and interest. The poster "xXx" has done that already 2 or 3 times. If a woman is looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage, and I'm looking for a onenight stand or weekend fling, do we have the same interests? No. That has nothing to do with if I find that woman's looks and/or personality appealing or attractive. And this where the concept of manipulation comes into play. What many men and women do is, if they see that you don't have the same interests as them, they go forward "pretending" to share the same interests as you. That is misleading, manipulative behavior. If a guy meets a woman ... and he wants casual sex ... and the woman makes it clear that she wants a long-term monogamous relationship ... then he can do one of two things: 1) Acknowledge that they have vastly different interests, and they both decide to not waste each other's time .... (non-manipulative behavior)
or 2) Pretend that he also wants a long-term monogamous relationship in order to increase his chances of having sex with her; If he does succeed in having sex with this woman, he then dumps her .... (manipulative behavior) Many men choose Option #2. Bottom line: Being ATTRACTED to someone is not necessarily synonymous with HAVING THE SAME ROMANTIC and SEXUAL INTERESTS as them. If you have an interest in casual sex ... and a woman shares that same interest ... then it's a given that she is attracted to you. On the other hand, you could think a woman has a nice ass ... a woman could think you have a nice smile and good teeth ... but that doesn't mean she has the same romantic and/or sexual interests as you. Like Comecuca said, don't "overthink" a lot of these concepts. The more ACTION you take, the more a lot of this stuff will naturally fall into place. I'd rather get rejected ANY DAY rather than waste time and/or money pursuing a woman that is going to do nothing more than try to mislead me, manipulate me or try to get me to be an 'entertaining platonic male friend.' I find that just about every woman who rejects you as a result of being Mode One would have rejected you EVENTUALLY if you made an assertive attempt to get in her pants. Rejection is always "WIN / WIN" I don't do the whole "wing thing" too often. Women love flattering attention. Women with boyfriends especially. That is a faulty basis for "success." If this is your basis for "success," then that would mean that every time you meet a woman who is genuinely not interested in you, you will feel like you "failed." That is not good. What is MOST important to you? - 90% of my emphasis is on the MANNER in which I APPROACH women? - 90% of my emphasis is on receiving a POSITIVE, ENTHUSIASTIC and RECIPROCAL response? - 90% of my emphasis is on GETTING LAID the SAME DAY I meet a woman? - 90% of my emphasis is on getting a woman to have a LENGTHY CONVERSATION with me? Out of the four choices I made available, only RESPONSE #1 is valid under the principles and
philosophies of MODE ONE. Why? Response #2: You don't have DIRECT CONTROL over receiving positive, enthusiastic, reciprocal responses from women. At best, you have some degree of INFLUENCE over such a response, but no direct control. In your attempt to receive a positive and/or reciprocal response, you will will make every attempt to a) avoid saying anything you think might "piss a woman off" and/or cause her to criticize you; b) avoid being rejected Response #3: Once again, you have no DIRECT CONTROL over provoking a woman to give you some pussy the same day you meet her. At best, you might have a certain degree of INFLUENCE (i.e., Indirect Control) over that scenario happening, but the power for that to happen does not rest totally in your hands. If it did, all men would be having "same day lays" on weekly, if not daily basis. Response #4: I hate to sound repetitive, but the truth is the truth. A woman has to make a CHOICE and DECISION to converse with you. You can't "force" a woman to converse with you. At best, you can provide her with some degree of MOTIVATION to converse with you, but she can still fail to reciprocate your desire to converse with her. Response #5: If you chose other, and you listed a "combination" of the four responses, that still would not be totally accurate. You should never concentrate on factors that are OUT OF YOUR DIRECT CONTROL. That is what causes men to exhibit behavior that is WEAK and INEFFECTIVE. Indirect control factors should, at best, be of secondary emphasis and importance. Trying to prevent and/or avoid harsh criticisms, negative reactions, and/or rejection is what causes WEAK and INEFFECTIVE behavior. The factors that should always be of primary emphasis are those factors that you have DIRECT CONTROL over. Direct Control factors when interacting with a woman ("power"): The ability to control and determine how you want to behave towards a woman ... and how you're going to ALLOW HER to behave towards you; Indirect Control factors when interacting with a woman ("influence"): Exhibiting behavior towards a woman that will hopefully motivate her to want to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions; No Control factors when interacting with a woman ("weakness"): Criticizing women to motivate them to change their behavior from undesirable & nonreciprocal to desirable & reciprocal; Hoping that a woman can "read your mind" and identify
your desires and interests; Trying to "force" or "coerce" a woman into giving you the response you want Anything that a woman has to "agree to" or has some degree of decision-making power is either a no control factor or at best an indirect control factor. When you're being Mode One, you should not concentrate on ANY of those factors. Those should be relegated to "secondary" emphasis. No less than 90% of your emphasis when being Mode One should be on DIRECT CONTROL factors (i.e., how you choose to approach women, what you choose to say to women, how you allow women to behave towards you, etc.) For me, I've had women in the past who I had a 15, 20, 30, 45-minute conversation with STILL "flake" on me. I said that in a recent interview. Sometimes, lengthy conversations are overrated. Take many women's "platonic" male friends. Those guys talk to women every other day, have lengthy conversations, develop some sort of "connection" with these women ... but still don't get the pussy. So, I'm not underestimating the value of rapport and good conversation ... but I wouldn't put too much emphasis on it either. And the biggest thing is this: A woman can turn down your invitation to converse with her at length. So that means having a [lengthy] conversation with a woman is not something that is under your direct control. And for that reason alone, that's why I don't think 90% of your emphasis should ever be on having a lengthy conversation. Don't totally agree with that. For long-term relationships (monogamous or non-monogamous)? Yes. I agree. For short-term relationships? No. I've had one-night stands with women who I didn't have any real "connection" with other than intense sexual attraction and chemistry. I guess for me, developing rapport would be one of my secondary priorities ... but that's not my #1 emphasis. My top emphasis is always going to be on factors that I have 100% control over. But that's just me .... How do you overcome your fear of swimming? YOU JUMP IN THE DAMN POOL. I don't want to "oversimplify" overcoming your fears and insecurities, but by the same token, it's not complex. You overcome fears and insecurities by TAKING ACTION. CONSISTENTLY. As much as I love helping out guys with personal consultations, messsage board posts, and etc., the reality is, the men on here have to go out in the real world and TAKE ACTION.
Confidence comes not just from positive results, but from TAKING ACTION. Even rejection can help build confidence. How? Because you TOOK ACTION. I can't stress it enough. ACTION, ACTION, ACTION, ACTION. When I first was learning how to be Mode One, I didn't have any "Gurus" to look for advice from or any "Direct-Method.com" type message boards to go to. You know what fueled me? My first interaction with a "Wholesome Pretender." Once I found out that Mode One helped me identify ONE WP, I knew it could help me identify TWO. Once I identified TWO, I knew it could help me identify THREE. And so on and so on. ACTION, ACTION, ACTION, ACTION, ACTION, ACTION, ACTION. Fuck all of this "overanalzying" bullshit. Guys on here need to go out in the real world and TAKE ACTION. The woman criticized you for being Mode One? SO THE FUCK WHAT. The woman rejected you and failed to reciprocate your interests? SO THE FUCK WHAT. The woman said you were "not her type?" SO THE FUCK WHAT. The world will not end because of one or two women's rejections and criticisms. TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION, TAKE ACTION. Mode One Behavior has benefited me in all forms of language ... PG, PG-13, R-rated, X-rated, XXX-rated. It depends on the situation, and the particular woman you're dealing with. I don't look at XXX-rated language as "vulgar." If I told a woman, "I want to urinate in your mouth," I didn't use any "XXX-rated" language at all ... but that is still gross. If I tell a woman, "I want to slowly slide my hard dick in and out of your pussy," that is XXX-rated, but that is not "vulgar." At least, in my opinion. I know women who are skilled game players and timewasters that know how to add a 'romantic' and/or 'sexual teasing' element to their interactions with men. Light kissing, everything. But they never give up the pussy. Never. And this is why I feel that whole "building rapport" stuff is highly overrated. I can name many times when I was in my twenties that I thought I was spending days and weeks building "rapport", when the reality was, the woman was misleading me and playing me like a piano. Communication skills is more important than "conversation" skills. Those two are not synonymous. You can be gifted at "small talk" (i.e., conversation skills) and be very poor at communicating your desires, interests and intentions. I want women to be CRYSTAL CLEAR on what I want from them. No vague bullshit whatsoever.
I've had all sorts of women flake on me. And every guy I've spoken with has said the same thing. I've had women flake on me after one conversation ... and I've had women flake on me after twenty conversations. Women are wishy-washy by nature. You can believe you are "building rapport" with a woman, and still have her flake on you. That's why most guys get frustrated being Mode Two with women. You invest a lot of TIME and/or MONEY, and women still flake on you. Mode Two is a "gamble." If you invest the necessary time and money ... and you end up dating that woman or having long-term sex ... then the 'gamble' was worth it. But if she flakes ... you feel pissed off. That's why I prefer Mode One. If a woman doesn't give me the pussy after being Mode One, I don't give a fuck. I didn't invest anything of major significance in that woman. Women develop rapport with you not so much by doing all of that "smooth talk" bullshit ... but by being AUTHENTIC and TOTALLY REAL with them. NO BULLSHIT in your behavior at all. Women connect with you REAL QUICK. I usually build rapport with women AFTER I fuck them ... not before. You don't have to 'smooth talk' a woman, mislead a woman, manipulate a woman, wine and dine a woman, or make her think you want to have a long-term relationship with her to "build rapport." That's what women who are highly manipulative WANT YOU TO DO. They want you do all of that 'tell them what they want to hear' bullshit so they can play your ass. I know women who know all of the manipulative tricks and gimmicks so well, that they could probably seduce other women better than any man ever could. Again, the most effective way to build instant rapport with women is to be REAL. Exhibit behavior that is totally devoid of bullshit. Women will connect with you real quick. I'm not trying to help guys prevent and/or avoid rejection. That is the point you are missing sorin, and many others on this forum. I WANT GUYS TO EXPERIENCE HOW IT FEELS TO BE REJECTED. Why? Because when you've been rejected a number of times, you realize how fucking trivial it is. I personally was more negatively affected by rejection when I was always trying to 'avoid' it than when I experienced it time after time. Rejection now means nothing to me. Rejection is not "WIN / LOSE." Rejection is ALWAYS "WIN / WIN" In my experience, there never is really a 'downside' to rejection unless you have an extremely fragile and sensitive ego. Sorry sorin, but in my book, what you promote is not "direct" at all. If you are misleading women about the type of relationship you want, that is not direct. Just because I tell a woman I am attracted to her does not mean I'm being direct. If I give a woman the misleading impression that I want a long-term monogamous relationship, when in reality, I want a short-term non-monogamous relationship, that is not "direct." I
consider that "indirect." Again, in my opinion, your approach is not truly direct. Your approach is more indirect than direct. In my book, your approach would fall under "Mode Two." Mode Two guys are honest in the sense that they are attracted to a woman .... but they are not as upfront or as straightforwardly honest about their true desires, interests and intentions as a Mode One guy. Mode Two guys are those who are generally afraid of being harshly criticized. They can't handle negative reactions and harsh, subjective criticisms from women. That is what your approach basically amounts to. Your approach is essentially a Mode Two approach. I can't speak for all guys who exhibit Mode One Behavior, but it definitely produces the results I want. Okay "Comecuca, Part II" If you were on here last Spring, this is what caused Comecuca and I to have a series of contentious exchanges. I'll tell you why you don't see women as manipulative. Because you are MANIPULATIVE YOURSELF. Its the same with women. Women who are highly manipulative themselves very rarely complain about men being manipulative. Why would they? They are having their way with nine out of every ten guys they meet. So ... you're telling me ... that you've never seen a woman use her beauty, feminine charms and sex appeal to get monetary favors from men? materialistic gifts from men? flattering attention from men? tangible and intangible favors from men? If you can honestly answer, "No, I have not..." then maybe you never have met a manipulative woman in your life. For me, I see this shit practically every week, if not every day. General difference between non-manipulative women and manipulative women: Non-manipulative women: From the time you meet them, they immediately let you know if they are attracted to you and interested in spending time with you .... or they immediately let you know that they are not attracted to you, and have no interest in spending time with you. Pretty much all of their interests are laid out upfront: If they're interested in a long-term relationship, they tell you upfront; If their interest is in a short-term and/or non-monogamous relationship, they tell you upfront; If their interest is nothing beyond a platonic friendship, they let you know upfront. Manipulative women: These women will very rarely let you know if they are attracted to you in an upfront manner. If they are attracted to you ... to one degree of another, they will try to pretend as though they are not; If they are not attracted to you ... to one degree or another, they will try to pretend as though they are. Their main characteristic is "keeping you guessing." Their communication style is very vague, general and ambiguous. They tend to maintain an attitude of "I might be attracted to you ... I
might not be ... I might date you ... I might not ... I might let you fuck me .... I might not ...." As nohadra stated, I don't know too many "hot" women who are NOT manipulative. Most women who are HB10s, HB9s, and HB8s are going to be manipulative. They get too much attention from men NOT to be. The only women who usually are never manipulative are women who are 'average' looking or 'less-than-average' looking who really don't get that much attention from men. Does a magnet ATTRACT metal ... or does it PURSUE metal? When you attract something, you DRAW IT TO YOU. Let's say all of your characteristics and attributes result in a "code" represented by letters. Yours are "ABCDWXYZ" Now if you meet a woman who has the same letters, or seven of those eight letters, or even five or six of those eight letters, there is a good chance that you will attract that woman to you simply by being yourself. But lets say that you meet a woman whose letter code is "JKLMNOPQ" She is not going to be attracted to you, based on your attribute make up. What many guys do though, is they say, "Well, I'm gonna pretend like my 'code' is JKLMNOPQ too!" That's not attracting. That is PRETENDING. That is putting on a "facade." In the long-run, that won't work. For many women ... yes. I don't know about the very first second, but most women say to me, "I know within the first five-to-ten minutes of meeting a guy, and talking to him, whether or not I will fuck him." I would say no later than the 15-minute mark in any interaction with a woman ... she knows if she's going to give you the pussy or not. For some women, by no later than the 5-minute mark. I've had many women tell me that they have had way more guys "talk themselves OUT OF sleeping with them" than they've had guys "talk themselves INTO sleeping with them." It is always better to be guilty of "talking too little" than to be guilty of "talking too much." With the former, a woman will urge you to talk more because she's curious and intrigued ... with the latter, she can't wait for you to shut the fuck up. You should never have any regrets over any conversation that centers on your real desires, interests and intentions. Even if you get rejected. But you're always going to have regrets over anything that isn't directly related to that objective ... e.g., "small talk" the weather, the state of the economy, your favorite color, how many points you scored in a high school football game .... you know. Bullshit conversation.
You need to read Stephen R. Covey's The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He addresses this very concern/issue. Covey says, in a nutshell, that the more you concentrate on factors out of your control, the more your degree of "influence" is going to diminish/decrease. Conversely, Covey says that the more you concentrate on factors that are within your direct control, the greater your degree of influence increases. This is why I always put most of my emphasis on factors that I have direct control over. Then, my influence over others takes care of itself. To your other point ... about Mode One Behavior "not being for all guys," yes ... I still stand by that. If you are a man who is dreadfully afraid of rejection ... and/or very sensitive to harsh, subjective criticisms from women and negative reactions from women .... you're best to remain Mode Two. The reason why guys want to learn Mode One is because the vast majority of them have already tried your methods, and those methods left them ANGRY, FRUSTRATED and BITTER. Trust me dude. I used to do all of that subtle, misleading, manipulative bullshit with women. On the positive end? When it worked .... you felt great. You felt like "got over on women." No problems, no regrets. The problem for me ... and most guys I talk to ... is the instances where those methods DIDN'T work. When you use those indirect methods on a skilled timewaster/manipulator, you get PLAYED. You end up wasting a lot of time ... money ... or both ... and you didn't even get laid. And even if you didn't get played, you get accused by the women of being a "manipulator of emotions." I don't like either one. I like for a woman to say to one of her girlfriends, "Girl, do you know Alan Roger Currie? That guy has BALLS. He was barely five minutes into the conversation, and he told me that he wanted to see his dick in my mouth." Girlfriend: "Oh my God ... what did you say??" Woman: "I couldn't say anything because his dick was in my mouth." MODE ONE BABY ... MAKE IT HAPPEN. This is exactly how I feel. I'm not going to give any woman a "hope" of a long-term, monogamous relationship if I know upfront that all I want is casual sex. That is very misleading and manipulative. I would rather not get the pussy at all than to mislead a woman into giving me some pussy. That is "head games." If I meet a woman, and I genuinely think that there is a possibility of a relationship ... I let them know. And I proceed accordingly.
But if I know all I want is a one-night stand, weekend fling, or short-term casual sex relationship ... I tell them upfront and straightforwardly that this is all I'm looking for. And the women respect that. I never said you will never, ever be able to attract a woman who is a "10" or a "9" or an "8" without being exceptionally good looking and/or wealthy. Please don't suggest that I said this. I actually think wealth is very overrated as an attractor of genuine romantic and sexual interest. But looks will always be important to women to some degree. It may not be as important to women as it is to men, but women never are going to just "totally ignore" a man's looks. I agree with what you were alluding to: Seduction is not representative of being able to get a woman in bed who is just 100%, flat-out not attracted to you or not interested in you. That is called a "miracle" ... not seduction. I define seduction as the ability to offer a valid rebuttal for every excuse a woman who is attracted to you is offering you for not wanting to have sex with you; Being able to neutralize every subjective criticism that a woman who is attracted to you is throwing your way; Being able to get a woman who is attracted to you, but feigning rejection to acknowledge that she really is interested in you. In other words, you're only going to seduce women who have some degree of attraction for you and interest in you already. You can read 15-20 seduction books, and it's not going to help you seduce a woman who is just 100% not attracted to you or interested in you. The problem is, most men have so many women in society WHO ARE ATTRACTED TO THEM, but who are "pretending not to be," that realistically, those men don't even have to worry about trying to seduce the women who are genuinely not interested in them. Why does attraction to a woman have to be all about her physical appearance? Trust me ... I've dated 8s, 9s, and 10s ... and other than their looks, many of them were very, very disappointing and boring to be with. Mode One doesn't "hurt" any man's chances of being with desirable women. Exhibiting Mode One Behavior may not always HELP a man attract the women he wants ... but it definitely won't PREVENT HIM from doing it. Mode One will not help guys who dreadfully afraid to approach women, dreadfully afraid of rejection, and/or dreadfully afraid of harsh subjective criticisms and negative reactions. If you can get past those things, Mode One will always enhance your success with women. Of course women look at all of your attributes. What woman would not?!? Would you even want a woman to be attracted to you because of ONE THING? If she's attracted to you ONLY because of your level of wealth, you will feel insecure whenever you see that woman flirting with a guy who is wealthier than you.
If she's attracted to you ONLY because of your looks, you will feel insecure whenever you see that woman flirting with a guy who you perceive as better looking than you. If she's attracted to you ONLY because you have big penis, you will feel insecure whenever you see that woman flirting with a guy who you know has a longer and/or thicker penis than you. If she's attracted to you ONLY because of your sense of humor, you will feel insecure whenever you see that woman flirting with a guy who is an established stand-up comedian. Get my point? Same with "attraction & seduction" gimmicks. If the ONLY REASON a woman is attracted to you is because you read three Seduction Community books, how are you going to feel when you see that woman flirting with a guy who is the author of six 'Attraction & Seduction' books?? GET MY POINT?? Mode One can help all men. Mode One will help any man achive better results than Mode Two and/or Mode Three. I never "guarantee" any man who reads my book that Mode One Behavior will definitely get im "high quality pussy." I don't think ANY BOOK, CD, DVD can "guarantee" you that. If you're an asshole at your core ... you're a fat, obese, lazy slob ... you're broke, unemployed and unambitious ... you only take a bath or shower once or twice a week .... WHAT BOOK DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HELP YOU GET "HIGH QUALITY PUSSY?????????" Puhleaze. Be realistic. You cannot be a 'total loser' with women, and think a book or a CD or a DVD or a Personal Consultation is going to help you get high quality pussy. Let's take basketball. If you're an NBA player who has decent skills, but you want to know how you can improve your game to an All-Star level that will help you win a championship ... surely there are psychological factors that can help you achieve that. But if you've never played basketball in your life, or only played on the high school level where you sat the bench ... how do you think a book on "How to be an NBA All-Star and win an NBA Championship" is going to help you?? Be realistic here. No one gets everything they want in life. No one. That's why I loved playing sports. If sports doesn't teach you anything else, it teaches you how to HANDLE LOSING, and adjust to NOT GETTING THE RESULTS THAT YOU ALWAYS WANT. Michael Jordan: "You will never be a winner if you can't accept and handle losing. As much as I love to win, I'm a graceful loser. If you're afraid of losing, you will never be in position to win." I feel the same way about attracting and seducing women. You're never going to be able to attract and seduce every woman you want to. NEVER. Get used to it. As I said above ... looks are not everything. I don't put too much emphasis on "HB10s, HB9s,
HB8s," and all of that superficial shit. At some point, you have to grow the fuck up and mature. In a nutshell, many of these other "seduction methods" help you create a fictional facade that may or may not work in the short run. In the long-run, once these women get past your fictional facade .... they're gone. Self-improvement in all areas of your life is ALWAYS beneficial. ALWAYS. Remember that.... Over half of the guys in the "Attraction & Seduction Community" are looking for those 'magic pills' and shortcuts that you speak of. And this will be their downfall. Another issue: Using food as a metaphor, you have a lot of guys who are "meat eaters," but they want to be able to attract women who are vegetarians who are only looking for vegetarians. Mode One says, "If you are a meat eater ... then you need to let a woman know you are a meateater ... and if she rejects you, she rejects you. No problem. Find an attractive meat-eating woman who has the same interests as you." Manipulative Seduction Guru XYZ says, "That is so wrong. Mode One will never help you. What you do is this: Lie to the woman, and make her believe that you are a vegetarian too. Everytime you go out to dinner with that woman, only order vegetables and fruit. Then, once you fuck her a few times, go back to eating meat. By the time she finds out that you're really a meat-eater, you will have already got the pussy!!! Isn't that great?? Fuck Mode One! Use my techniques, and you will get laid!!! Just dump the bitch after she finds out you're a meat-eater!!" You see, I don't operate like that. Never have, and never will. If pussy is that important to a guy where he has to lie to women and mislead them, then more power to him. But Karma is a bitch. Trust me on that. This is why I don't evaluate the effectiveness of Mode One strictly on getting laid. In that manipulative example, yeah ... the guy got laid ... but at what expense? He had to exhibit LOW CHARACTER and NO INTEGRITY in order to get laid. I'll never encourage such behavior.... I don't go into detail about improving one's physical appearance and doing other physicalrelated stuff such as taking care of your personal hygiene and wearing good-looking clothes, but I surely emphasize the psychological aspects of self-improvement. I would dare anyone who has read my book to say that I don't. My book deals with the #1 psychological issue of them all: FEAR OF REJECTION. You can improve every other aspect of your behavior towards women ... but if you are afraid of being rejected by women and/or afraid of being harshly criticized by women, you will never gain the confidence to approach women. NEVER.
There is NOTHING more important than conquering those two fears. NOTHING. But you need to re-read my book again. Mode One emphasizes that a man must work to improve himself physically, mentally and emotionally. I would never try to cover ALL ASPECTS of self-improvement (for men) in ONE book. I seriously doubt if ANY one book on the market can do that. I would have to write a series of books to cover that. This is why I always tell most men: Don't ONLY read Mode One. Read a number of other books INCLUDING Mode One. At the back of Mode One, I even list about 10-12 books that I think are worth reading. Everything you do right with women STARTS with overcoming your fear of rejection and your fear of harsh, subjective criticisms. As Comecuca alluded to, that's how everything started falling in place for me years back. It didn't come from reading a book or staying on a message board. My eye contact, voice tone, body language, overall demeanor developed from approaching woman after woman after woman and conversing with woman after woman after woman and just learning from my errors and mistakes. This is why I always tell guys: Coming on here and having a few questions answered is great, but the real deal is, you have to just go out in the real world and start approaching women. Even if you get rejected or harshly criticized ... keep on approaching women. You will learn SO MUCH over a matter of weeks, months and years. Great response Comecuca.... If there was a response that left you not knowing what to say, then you need to create "rebuttals" to their responses. Always try to leave a woman 'speechless' and/or 'flustered' if she's trying to resist you or express subjective criticisms. Some common rebuttals of mine in the past..... Woman: "What do you think I am ... a slut?" Alan: "What type of women you think I sleep with ... sluts?" Woman: "Are you this bold and straightforward with ALL women?" Alan: "Why are you concerned about how I behave towards OTHER women? I'm only concerned with THIS conversation...." Woman: "You are so damn cocky ... and crass!" Alan: "And you love it ... don't you ..." Woman: "I don't even know you!!" Alan: "This is exactly why you and I need to hook up..."
Woman: "We can meet somewhere neutral ... but not my place or yours...." Alan: "Ask one of your girlfriends if we can exchange orgasms in her bed...." Women are funny. The #1 reason they ask this is to gauge how effective your bold, straightforward approach is with other women. Most women don't want to feel like they are the "only women" that you're bold enough to approach in this manner. That makes them feel like you're giving them "less respect" than other women. That's why they always ask this. So, if you were to say, "I'm like this with ALL women," that would make them feel better, because then they don't feel like a "slut." But on the negative end, they would feel like they're just another piece of ass that you want. Another notch on your belt. If you were to say, "No ... you're only the second or third woman I've approached this way," then that would make them feel like you have too much respect for other women to approach them like that. That makes them feel slutty. So, the best response is to say, "Don't worry about how I approach other women.... et al" I say this in my "Mode One" Book and I believe "Hardcore" as well. You never want to become 'contentious' and/or 'argumentative' with a woman who you want to seduce. That just makes them become defensive and on guard. You take "Jack" in Talk Dirty To Me. When that female physician was harshly criticizing him, he looked at her with a cocky smirk on his face, as if to suggest that her criticisms were going in one ear and out of the other. That's essentially what I do. I might say something "witty" ... but I never say anything insulting or harsh. I usually just smirk at them. As I've mentioned before ... manipulation is not something that should be "over-emphasized," but by the same token, you shouldn't ignore and/or under-emphasize the manipulative tendencies of women either. It's not like manipulative women will kill you ... so they're not that evil. But they do have the potential to cause you to waste a lot of valuable time, a lot of money, and just generally cause you stress. For them, it's great. I know women, who because of their manipulations ... - never pay rent or mortgage payment - never pay a car note - live in houses or condos that they really can't afford
- go on trips out of the country that they never pay for - have dozens of 'platonic' male friends & "play brothers" who do anything for them without getting anything in return - have one guy thinking that they are a "good girl," when behind his back, they're as raw and kinky as hell with another guy The list goes on. I always say: Manipulation is ALWAYS a TWO-WAY street. So yes ... you're right ... the only way a woman can manipulate a man is if he is either a) trying to manipulate her himself and/or b) exhibiting behavior that is so naive, weak and spineless that he makes it easy for a woman to play him like a piano If any guy is concentrating on women's manipulative behavior after reading my book ... SHAME ON THEM. I do think you should generally be aware of women's manipulative tendencies, but for matters of self-improvement, I tell men to only concentrate on their own behavior. Its better to be prepared to respond to criticisms (or ignore them) than to not be prepared. You don't ALWAYS receive harsh criticisms when you're Mode One. Mainly from Wholesome Pretenders, Erotic Hypocrites, and Attention Whores/Dick Teasers. Most Reciprocators will not criticize you. Most straightforward Rejecters won't either. They will just calmly say, "I'm not interested." In my experience, women will try to manipulate ANY MAN ... until you SHOW THEM/PROVE TO THEM that you're not a "chump" / man with no backbone. In other words, they don't know that you're not a 'chump' until you exhibit behavior that shows otherwise (e.g., exhibiting Mode One Behavior). But it's not like women just 'look at' a guy and say, "Oh ... he's a chump ... he's not a chump ... etc" Quickest way most women know they can manipulate you: When you immediately start 'flattering' women excessively and/or quickly offering to 'wine and dine' them .... Well, we all have our opinions ... but I have to say, I don't 100% agree with that. I think effective interpersonal communication involves BOTH. I don't emphasize solely verbal ... or solely nonverbal. I believe both work in conjunction with one another. A recent example I gave on this message board would be a stripper. A stripper could give you the NON-VERBAL impression that she wants you to fuck her ... but I bet if you tried to, she would call security and accuse you of sexual assault. In other words, just because a woman's body language is saying, "I want you fuck me" doesn't mean that she actually wants you to. I've given a woman a compliment or two when approaching them, but my compliments are
always followed up by 'action comments' Regular compliment: "You are a real attractive woman ... very nice lips!" Compliment followed by action comment: "I bet you receive a lot of compliments on those nice lips you have .... I'm going to really enjoy kissing you ...." A compliment or two is never a 'bad' thing, especially when they are followed up with action comments. The only time I'm against flattery is when it is real 'excessive' .... to the point where you are literally 'fawning' over a woman. I'm not suggesting that you spell out every detail of what you're about to do ... not at all. I would never tell a woman, "I'm going to kiss you on the neck ...." and then kiss her on the neck. I would just do it. What I think needs to be verbally communicated though is if your interests are short-term, long-term, monogamous or non-monogamous. This is where the guru Carlos Xuma and I disagreed. Xuma said he believes that you shouldn't specifically communicate to a woman that you're only looking for casual sex (i.e., short-term, non-monogamous sex) ... you should just let her 'assume' that's what you want. I vehemently disagree with that. I think you should always communicate your interests (verbally) to a woman in terms of what type of relationship you're looking for. If you don't, you're just playing games and/or opening the door for games. I had a buddy meet a woman at a nightclub, and she had some alcohol. She went to his place with him (along with a girlfriend), and was giving him all sorts of "body language" signs that she wanted him to fuck her. But verbally, she kept saying, "I don't know if I'm ready for this..." He proceeded to attempt to fuck her anyway. Her girlfriend then says, "Didn't you hear my friend ... she wants you to slow down ..." But he said everything about her body language was saying "yes, yes, yes...." Bottom line? He got accused of date rape. He had to go to court and everything. He ended up either winning the case, or it got dropped, but just the fact that he had to go to court was embarrassing. And I've at least two other buddies who got into awkward situations because they 'misread' a woman's body language signals. The women were being flirtatious and provocative physically, but verbally, they never gave the 'green light.' This is why I say you can't always make decisions based on body language signs alone. If that were the case, there would be no such thing as "dick teasers." That's exactly what a dick teaser is: A woman who gives you inviting BODY LANGUAGE, but verbally, she hasn't given you an invitation But that's the thing ... the woman didn't necessarily "push him away" ... and that's why he told
me he continued. She didn't even really say, "No, don't fuck me ..." but he said she said, "I don't know if I'm ready for this or not." I think eventually she dropped the charge against him. But the point is, this is an example of the games women can play when there is not enough verbal clarity between you and a woman. This is why I never depend solely on non-verbal communication. I depend on both verbal and non-verbal communication. I'm older now .... so maybe I'm biased ... but as I've said before, I am not a big fan of the nightclub scene and/or bar/restaurant scene. Way too many women in those places just looking for flattering attention. I've actually met more married women in nightclubs than just out in the streets ... But if guys have had success in those places, more power to them! At some point in the conversation, I always let a woman know if my interests are casual or monogamous. That's the main point of being Mode One ... to let a woman know what your short-term and/or long-term desires, interests and intentions are. When you tell a woman, "the only reason I want to spend time with you is to fuck you," then you are letting a woman know all you want is the pussy (in a non-monogamous manner). At any given point in time, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. I just told someone that recently. What I want in January from a woman might not be the same thing I want from her in April, but the bottom line is, I know in January if I want casual sex or long-term monogamous sex. In my personal opinion, I think it is easier to make it clear that you only want casual sex from a woman .... and then elevate that to a more serious, monogamous relationship .... then to do the vice versa. Very few women I know want to go from a serious relationship to something casual. A few, maybe ... but not many. Personally, I don't believe in playing the role of the "mind reader" and "assuming" anything. I like to have things clear. Prevents a lot of confusion and misinterpretations. Like Don said, why are men looking for a "genuine emotional connection" with a woman who you are only interested in having short-term/casual sex with? That makes no sense to me. If you are looking at a woman as your potential wife or long-term, exclusively committed girlfriend? Yes. I would agree with all of the "emotional connection" talk. But for a one-night stand? Weekend fling? A few days, weeks, and/or months of nonmonogamous casual sex? For what? Do you REALLY want a "human emotional connection," or are you trying to manipulate women into BELIEVING that you want a "human emotional connection??" There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE
between the two. And this is why I was criticizing aspects of Sorin's approach. It's one thing if you have a GENUINE DESIRE to connect with a woman emotionally. I have no issue with that. But what I do have issue with is the idea of presenting a misleading FACADE to women to make them BELIEVE that you have a genuine interest in them, but in reality, you just want to get laid. If the latter is the case ... SHAME ON YOU. That's some cowardly ass BULLSHIT. I say if you fall into the 2nd category, GROW SOME MUTHA FUCKIN BALLS. Dude ... I don't get into all of that "mechanical" vs "human erotic." For me, I only look at sexual desires in these categories: Short-term VS Long-term Monogamous VS Non-monogamous Long-term monogamous sex requires more of a time investment and emotional rapport than short-term non-monogamous sex. You're talking an extra "five minutes" of rapport building? That's no big deal. But for some reason, I don't think that's what many of these guys are referring to. I don't care how much a man "opens up" to a woman, or gets her to "open up" to him .... a man needs to have the BALLS to let a woman know that he's just looking for casual sex. C'mon Comecuca ... don't be naive. You know most of these guys on here are trying to get women to have casual sex without straightforwardly telling them that they're looking for casual sex. Let's just be real. I don't care if a man takes 5, 10, 15+ minutes to "build rapport" as long as he's making it crystal clear that he's not looking for a long-term, "serious," emotionally profound relationship. Because if that is what a guy is doing, he is NOT being "direct" in any way, shape or form. What I'm reading is not an endorsement of being "direct." Not at all. Most of what I read amounts to men looking for ways to avoid looking like the "superficial, shallow asshole," when the reality is, that's exactly what they're being ... superficial and shallow. When I'm being shallow and superficial, I have the BALLS to admit that shit to women. That's what I'm saying. If I'm only looking for a one-night stand, I don't go around pretending like I'm looking for next girlfriend or my next wife. I make it clear that I just want ONE NIGHT of good sex. That is what being DIRECT is all about. That is what being MODE ONE is all about. Women can see through bullshit, unless they are very naive and inexperienced with men. One of the biggest complaints I hear from women is about men who 'pretend' to be genuinely interested in them, but in reality, just want some pussy. But yet, that's what a few guys on this forum are promoting.
Again .... I have no criticism against a GENUINE DESIRE to connect with a woman on a deep, emotional level. Not at all. But on the flip side, I have MAJOR PROBLEMS with men "pretending" to be interested in 'connecting' with a woman when all they really want is the pussy. You are who you really are. Not who you pretend to be. Mode One Behavior is not for cowards and guys with no backbone. Mode One Behavior is not for guys looking to lie to women, mislead women and/or manipulate women in order to get them in bed. Mode One Behavior is not for guys who have a profound fear of rejection and/or a profound fear of harsh criticisms and negative reactions from women. Other than that, Mode One Behavior can be used any other man. Sorin already admitted that part of his process is giving women "the hope of a relationship." That is not direct. That is both indirect and manipulative. Call a spade a spade. When I know all I want is casual sex, I make that crystal clear to women. Because if a woman wants THE SAME THING, you two are going to NATURALLY CONNECT. In my opinion, a genuine "connection" comes from having MUTUALLY SHARED DESIRES and INTERESTS. In other words, if your interest is a one-night stand and a woman's interest is a long-term relationship, there is no way you two are going to genuinely connect. You're just not. Don't fool yourself. What you all call "calibration," I just call "experience." The more women you appraoch and interact with, the more things you learn about women's behavior. It's really that simple. That's why I don't spend any time in my book using those "pick-up artist terms" like "calibration." No man in my social circle uses such words. You all need to be REAL WITH YOURSELVES and ask yourself, "Do I really want to be 'direct'?? Or do I want to be a manipulative pick-up artist?" Mode One is not a form of 'pick-up,' and that's why many of you feel disappointed and frustrated by the results you're getting from Mode One approaches. Mode One is not designed for pick-up. In my opinion, the Direct Philosophy period is not designed for that. As I said in my above response ... you're always going to naturally connect with a woman if you two share many of the same desires, interests and intentions. It's really that simple. But if you're being deceitful and misleading about your true desires, interests and intentions, at some point, you're going to get exposed. There are some men on this message board who are looking to do the latter. They're not interested in genuinely connecting with women. They're interested in giving women the misleading impression that they want to "connect on a deeper level."
And that is bullshit. You don't have to engage in "small talk" in order to have [casual] sex with a woman. I can name many times when I approached a woman, and within the first 2-3 minutes of the conversation, I was like, "So ... are we fucking next weekend or two weekends from now?" And that woman and I ended up fucking. I'm not "anti-rapport," but I am very much anti-DISINGENUOUS rapport. A lot of "pick-up artists" and gurus basically teach you how to engage in DISINGENUOUS rapport. That's what I call "trivial small talk." I **never** do that shit. Especially when my interest is casual sex. What I agree on: You can't approach a woman and simply say, "Hey ... my name is Joe ... and I want to fuck you....," and think that most women are going to give you the pussy with NO OTHER conversation. I agree with that. What I disagree on: I don't talk about anything that doesn't interest me. I don't listen to any conversation from a woman that doesn't interest me. Matter of fact, that's part of how Mode One got started with me. If you read Chapter One in my book, I talk about how I told a woman "your conversation is boring the hell out of me." I've told MANY women that. I don't do "trivial small talk" well at all. But that's not to say I don't have much to talk about. For me, just letting a woman know I want to fuck her usually turns into as conversation of it's own. I've had hour long conversations with women that pretty much started out with me saying, "I can't wait to see my dick in your mouth." But my bottom line is: A man does not have to engage in "entertaining small talk" in order to attract and seduce women. I've had women suck my dick with less than 10-15 minutes of conversation. That's the main difference between Mode One and Mode Two. Mode Two guys are those who engage in a lot of flattering and/or entertaining 'small talk' prior to letting their interests be known. A Mode One guy lets his interests be known FIRST, and then lets the conversation flow from there. I agree Jaydilla. Fuck all of that "calibration" bullshit. It really comes down to those three things. 1) Having the BALLS to approach women, and let them know what you REALLY WANT from them (e.g., casual sex? long-term relationship? other?); 2) Once you've approached a number of women, and conversed with a number of them, you accumulate EXPERIENCE; 3) Once you've had many experiences with a number of women, you naturally develop an underlying INSTINCT regarding their body language; You begin to sense the WHOLESOME PRETENDERS from the Rejecters, and the TIMEWASTERS from the Reciprocators;
Good stuff Jaydilla.... I don't try to make women laugh. If I say something that they find amusing ... so be it. But I never make getting a woman to laugh a specific priority of mine. As I've said before, it depends on what you define as "rapport," and how you go about achieving that objective. When I approach a woman, I don't consciously say to myself, "I must develop rapport with this woman." The only thing I concentrate on is letting a woman know what my true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions are. Everything after that is secondary. If a woman wants to develop rapport WITH ME, then I often allow that. But developing rapport is not a "top" priority for me. For me, that just sort of "happens." Read my "M1-Backstory" seductions. I didn't look to find out "tid bits" from those women. All I concentrated on was letting them know I wanted to have sex with them. I'm guilty of "assuming" things on here every now and then, but I'm pretty perceptive. I know what is going on with many of these guys. Many guys on here want to just get laid without looking like they just want to get laid. That is what it really all boils down to. And I'm saying, that is BULLSHIT. If you genuinely wanted to learn about a woman's piano lessons ... then getting laid would be the "frosting on the cake" ... not the cake itself. I'm saying, if you have a genuine interest in women's activities, hobbies, past experiences, etc., you won't **EVER** have a hard time starting a conversation with that woman, and talking about those things. When are you going to have a "hard time" talking to women and creating conversations with them? When you have ONE SET of desires, interests and intentions ... but you're trying to PRETEND as though you have a whole different set of desires, interests and intentions. That's why these guys are having problems. Nothing more, nothing less. These guys want to meet "hot women" and have sex with them as quickly as possible, but they don't want to preadvertise to these women that this is what they're trying to do. And I'm saying that is COWARDLY and MANIPULATIVE. Guys are stalling out because deep-down, they really don't care about what these women have to offer intellectually or otherwise. They care about how "hot" these women are, and how nice their tits and ass are. There is nothing wrong with only caring about those things if you have the BALLS TO ADMIT IT. This is the basis of Mode One. You see Comecuca, when I meet a woman ... and I know for a 100% fact that all I want from that woman is some pussy ... I SAY THAT SHIT. I don't "pretend" like I want to know about her favorite movies.
I will literally walk up to a woman, and say, "The only reason I'm talking to you right now is because I want to fuck you. Nothing else." Sometimes I've gotten the pussy, other times I didn't. But when I didn't ... I didn't let it bother me. So fuckin' what if the women walk away?? THIS IS THE POINT YOU'RE MISSING Comecuca. I don't give a fuck if a woman walks away from me. I really don't. There is only one thing I care about: Did I let this woman know what my true desires, interests and intentions were. THAT IS IT. Everything else is secondary to that. I don't give a fuck about negative reactions or rejection. I really don't. I could care less if five women in a row reject me. Rejection, in my mind, is ALWAYS "WIN / WIN." A man, deep-down, ALWAYS knows what to say to women. Always. I say that in my book. Anytime a man says, "I don't know what to say to women," what he's REALLY SAYING is, "I don't know what to say to women that will GUARANTEE ME that I will receive an enthusiastic, positive, reciprocal response." That's all. I don't "pre-plan" to talk about anything with women. That's what many of these guys are missing. I never walk up to a woman, and say to myself, "Okay Alan ... make sure you bring up her favorite foods ... and then make sure you compliment her on her hair .... etc." When I approach a woman, the only thing on my mind is letting those women know what I'm REALLY THINKING. This is what I want to know when I approach a woman: 1) Is she single / unattached (I don't mess around with women who have husbands, fiances' or long-time boyfriends) 2) Is she interested in sharing my company one-on-one (i.e., not in a public venue ... without my friends around and her friends around) 3) Does she have the same romantic and/or sexual interests as me (i.e., if I want a one-night stand, does she? If I want a friends-with-benefits relationship, does she? etc) That's about it. Anything else is just "spontaneous" conversation. You know why these guys are "creeping" women out? Because their body language and overall behavior is not congruent with their words. I've never "creeped" a woman out by being XXXrated with them. I've made women angry and frustrated, but rarely "creeped out." Men need to ask themselves some honest questions. Such as, "When it comes to conversing and interacting with women, what do you care about other than getting laid?" Write down all of the answers. HONESTLY. You must not have heard me on Alexyss K. Tylor's talk radio show. That's why she always teases me about being so "naughty and nasty." I only talk about things that I'm genuinely interested in talking about.
You see, that's the trick: When you're genuinely interested in talking about something, you don't really have to "think about" what to say to women. You just end up talking about it. If I'm genuinely interested in talking about sports, I talk about sports. If I'm genuinely interested in talking about politics, I talk about politics. If I'm talking to a woman .... and the only thing on my mind is fucking her ... then that is literally all I talk about. When you have balls ... you find a million and one things to talk about. When you don't have balls .... it's hard to find 2-3 things to talk about. Why? Because you're afraid of talking about anything that might provoke a "negative" or adverse reaction. I don't give a fuck about negative reactions. If I'm talking about eating meat ... and an attractive, sexy vegetarian gets pissed off .... I don't give a fuck. That is HER problem ... not mine. Dude, I've talked to literally HUNDREDS of guys about approaching women. HUNDREDS. Bordering on THOUSANDS. And I've come to this one very real conclusion: When you are totally unafraid of rejection, and you are totally unafraid of 'negative' reactions and/or harsh criticisms, you never are at a loss for words with women. And that's just real talk. You only become afraid of approaching women when you are a man who allows rejection and harsh criticisms to throw your ego all out of shape. "When it comes to conversing and interacting with women, what do you care about other than getting laid?" Write down all of the answers. HONESTLY. Not only KEYS, but every guy on here who has a hard time talking to women. If a man has a hard time answering this question, this means he's a misogynist. He really doesn't like women. He just wants to fuck them. A lot of people think if you want to fuck women, that automatically means you like them. NOT TRUE. Misogynists want to fuck women.... but otherwise, they really don't want to be around women. I say that the women are running away because of one of two reasons: 1) Something about that guy's looks, overall personality, and demeanor and "vibe" is turning them off. Women operate on instinct. and/or 2) The men are coming off as if they're PRETENDING to have balls, but for the most part, they really don't. In order to truly connect with women, there has to be something about that woman that GENUINELY INTERESTS YOU other than her tits, ass and pussy. You can't fake genuine interest.
KEYS needs to develop a genuine interest in the women he talks to beyond how good they suck dick or fuck. Simple as that really. And if the pussy is really all that he wants, he needs to have the balls to say that. That is Alan Roger Currie, in a nutshell. I basically only have two approaches to women: 1) If I have a genuine interest in a woman beyond just sex, then I talk about those things that I am genuinely interested in. For example, if a woman is into screenwriting and filmmaking .... something I'm interested in ... I'll talk about that with her. I don't "fake" interest. or 2) If I meet a woman, and all I want from her is pussy ... I have the balls to tell her. I don't bullshit her. I will literally say to that woman, "The only reason I'm interacting with you is because I want to fuck you." I told a woman this just this past Thursday. She was trying to engage me in "small talk," and I said, "The only thing I care about is you sucking my dick and riding my dick." She said, "You are so bad Alan. You are incorrigible." And then she left my presence. I don't bullshit women .... and will never resort to that. If you're creeping women out by being straightforward ... then it's not the straightforward dialogue that is "creeping them out." Matter of fact ... in my own experience anyway .... I have had more women seem "creeped out" when I was actually INDIRECT with them than when I was direct with them. I remember one time I was in the grocery store about 15-20 years ago, and I approached this attractive woman and started talking about food and groceries and shit (basically, I was being Mode Three) and within minutes her whole body language was like "You are creeping me out." I never get that when I'm Mode One. The worst I get is women become a combination of "flustered" and "frustrated" because they really don't know how to respond back. Ultimately, Mode One Behavior is about identifying women who are "on the same page" as you. When you find those women, you will naturally connect and develop rapport. The problem with many guys is, they're trying to "convert" women who are NOT on the same page as them into women who are. That is going to always lead to "forced conversations." Here is when you are NOT exhibiting behavior that is representative of Mode One Behavior... 1) You are trying to have sex with women by pretending that you're not trying to have sex with them
2) You are trying to have casual sex with women by pretending that you're interested in a longterm, monogamous relationship 3) You are trying to date a woman by pretending that you're content with being her platonic friend 4) You express your romantic and/or sexual interests to women in a vague, ambiguous, cautious, indirect manner 5) You are engaging in a high degree of flattering, entertaining "small talk" prior to letting a woman know what your true desires and interests are 6) You are offering women monetary favors, or "incentives" and "rewards" (such as a free dinner) to get them motivated to spend time with you There might be more characteristics that disqualify you, but at minimum, if you fall into any of the above listed six categories, your behavior is not Mode One. Matter of fact, if your behavior falls into the first four or five categories, not only is your behavior not Mode One ... it's not DIRECT period. If I were you, I would have approached all of those women and simply said, "I am attracted to you and I would like you to share my company at some point in the near future .... what are your thoughts on that ...." (or some variation of that). Too much verbiage on your end. Fuck concentrating on rapport. All you need to do is what you just said. 1) Approach a woman, and in your own way, let her know what your true sexual desires and interests are; 2) If she criticizes you for being "too straightforward," quickly disregard those criticisms and keep talking to her until she ends the conversation; 3) If she rejects you, so what. For every interest you have ... there is at least one or two women (if not more) who have the same exact interest. Don't waste time with women who don't have the same interests as you. I'm saying, I never heard a guy use those terms until I discovered this whole "pick-up artist" community. I don't use terms like "sarging" and "opener" and "calibration." Those terms seem rather goofy to me. When I'm talking to a woman, I don't consciously think to myself, "Am I calibrating this woman correctly?" For me, everything just flows naturally based on what I want and my experiences with other women.
For me, the only thing that takes "skill" and "talent" when interacting with women is learning how to quickly and effectively neutralize their invalid subjective criticisms. The difference between me and 95% of the guys in the "Pick-Up Community?" Most of those guys are trying to PREVENT and/or AVOID REJECTION. They're essentially running away from rejection like you run away from a classroom bully. I look rejection square in the face and say, "DO IT." I basically DARE women to reject me. I'm not afraid of rejection. I WANT A WOMAN WHO IS NOT INTERESTED IN ME TO REJECT ME. I don't ever want to waste time talking to a woman who doesn't have the same interests as I do. Most of these techniques such as 'calibration' were originally designed to basically diminish your chances of being rejected. I don't think like that. So what if a woman acts "offended?" That doesn't mean shit to me. Most Wholesome Pretender types are going to always pretend as though you have 'offended' them and been rude to them. I rarely tone down my language from X-rated to PG-13. Whatever language I start out with, I either remain there, or I escalate to more provocative language. Read "Upfront and Straightforward" where I talk about the "tests" that women give you. There are not "two types" of Wholesome Pretenders ... only one. Unless you're adding an "Erotic Hyprocrite" to the mix. Wholesome Pretender: Any woman who initially behaves as though she is 'turned off' by the thought of kinky/erotically uninhibited sex and/or casual/non-monogamous sex when in actuality she has indulged in said sex a number of times; Also, simply a woman who initially "pretends" to have no romantic and/or sexual interest in you at all ... but later, will acknowledge an attraction for you Erotic Hypocrite: A more materialistic, gold-digging, social status-oriented version of a Wholesome Pretender I don't render a woman speechless by trying to "dominate her' verbally. What I do is look for inconsistencies in their comments, hypocritical behavior, and invalid statements and criticisms, and CALL THEM OUT ON IT. Example: A woman is calling you a "jerk" and an "asshole" for being so sexually straightforward with her. Obvious response: If she was truly not interested in you, she wouldn't be standing there with you criticizing you. That's an inconsistency. Call her out on it if necessary (e.g., "Well why are you still standing here talking to me.... if you don't like what I'm saying ... ") xXx is not totally off base with the direct eye contact emphasis. I always look women directly in their eyes when I speak with them.
Any good book you read will always help you learn something you didn't know before. This is what exceptional attorneys do to crack witnesses: They listen for INCONSISTENCIES and CONTRADICTIONS between people's BEHAVIOR and their WORDS. Did you see "A Few Good Men" with Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise? Great example. That's how Cruise broke down Nicholson. That's why most of women's criticisms don't bother me. My attitude is, if a woman was truly not interested in me ... she wouldn't be allowing the conversation to continue. She would end it. Watch Talk Dirty To Me. The infamous scene with the female doctor. Did she harshly criticize Jack? Yes. Did she make a concentrated effort to end the conversation? No. And that's why Jack knew he could seduce her. Same thing happened in Dangerous Liaisons with John Malkovich and Uma Thurman. If a woman harshly criticizes me and/or insults me, I never become agitated or defensive. I just look them in their eyes, smirk, and usually say something witty. Or I change the subject altogether. I don't ever want to be the one who is 'irritated' or 'frustrated' in the conversation; If that happens to anyone, I want the woman to leave the conversation saying something, "That cocky asshole pissed me off!!" as opposed to me walking away saying "That fuckin' bitch pissed me off!!" No woman should be able to get under your skin when you're Mode One... Fuck "checking" a woman verbally. The best way to 'check' a woman is to deny her your attention and companionship. I would avoid getting into "verbal exchanges of insults" and anything similar. Yep. You should always approach women with the CONFIDENT ASSUMPTION that she has the same romantic and/or sexual desires that you do ... even if in reality, you are wrong in that assumption. It is always better to "assume" that a woman is attracted to you, and shares the same desires and interests as you ... and be WRONG ... then to assume that a woman is NOT attracted to you and DOESN'T have the same desires and interests in you and also be wrong.... See, this goes back to the debate about "non-verbal communication" VS "verbal communication." Some guys say, "I don't need to verbally communicate my desires and interests to a woman ...." That's bullshit. For the reasons that Katt Williams talks about in that YouTube clip. Many women, particularly Attention Whores and Dick Teasers, will exhibit body language that makes you think, "She
wants me to fuck her!" But the reality is, they just wanted to get your dick hard. Many women get off on just knowing that they got your dick hard. They don't want to be fucked. That's why you gotta be Mode One with women like that.... Those first two sentences basically say the same thing.... If you're exhibiting Mode One Behavior, you don't put much emphasis on what the woman's intentions might be ... you focus on what YOUR OWN desires, interests and intentions are. So, you basically were redundant I never said that being upfront and straightforward was the ONLY way to achieve and satisfy your desires and interests. I'm realistic enough to know there are other methods. Where you and I have mostly been at odds, is that you encourage a lot of "indirect" methods and techniques, but then you label them "direct." And a few other guys on here do the same thing. They're on a Direct board, but promoting methods and techniques that are indirect. Direct: You go about getting a woman in bed by straightforwardly letting her know you want to get her in bed; Indirect: You go about getting a woman in bed by misleading a woman into believing that you might possibly want a long-term relationship, or that you're really not looking to fuck her as quickly as possible I'm in the first group ... you are in the second group. Being upfront and straightforward is not limited to casual sex interests. My older brother was "Mode One" in regard to his pursuit of a relationship. He told his nowwife, "Hey ... I've sowed by wild oats (i.e., had lots of casual sex). I'm not looking for anything casual anymore. I want a relationship that is going to lead to marriage. If you're not looking for that, tell me now ... so we won't waste each other's time." 28 months after that conversation took place, they were married. If your desires and interests are "vague" and "ambiguous," then you're better off being Mode Two with women. I've always said that Mode Two Behavior is more conducive for your needs and objectives if you fall into one or more of these categories: 1) You don't like being rejected in an abrupt and/or harsh manner;
2) You don't like receiving harsh criticisms from women and/or 'negative' reactions; 3) You really don't know what your desires and interests are (e.g., you don't know if you want a short-term relationship or a long-term relationship; You don't know if you want a monogamous relationship or a non-monogamous relationship) 4) You want women to say 'nice things' about you behind your back (e.g., "Ralph is such a great guy ... a true, well-mannered gentleman!") The weakness though in Mode Two is you open yourself up to have your time wasted. If you can handle that, then Mode Two will work out fine for you... If I could only pick one mode or the other, I would always choose Mode One. Always. What got me away from Mode Two is you waste way too much time, and even potentially money. And the fear of rejection WEAKENS your approach and overall behavior. Your behavior will never be at its most powerful until you eliminate your fear of rejection and your fear of harsh criticism. Aspects of interactions I've had with Mode One that I've never experienced with Mode Two: - When I'm Mode One with women, and I get rejected, I get rejected immediately; When I've been Mode Two with women, I will have 3-5 phone conversations with them and 2-3 dates with them before they eventually say, "I'm not really interested in anything romantic or sexual." End result: TIME WASTED. - When I've been Mode One with women, I've had women reject me one day .... and later on, damn near beg me to fuck them; I've never experienced that when I've been Mode Two; - When you're Mode Two with women, you get put in the "friend zone" many times; When you're Mode One, women either date you, fuck you, or leave you alone; - You get women to reveal their "kinky" side waaaaaaay quicker by being Mode One; When you're dealing with a "Wholesome Pretender," that woman is not going to show you her 'kinky' side until you've known her for weeks or months if you are Mode Two; Sometimes, she won't show you that side at all; - When you use Mode Two for casual sex, you run a high risk of having women ruin your reputation by labeling you a "lying womanizer" or a "misleading manipulator"; With Mode One, women accept the fact that you just want the pussy, and they respect you for your straightforward honesty. Plain and simply, Mode Two is for guys who can't handle abrupt rejection or harsh criticism. That is it. If you exhibit Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, there is a 99.9% chance at some point you're going to exhibit Mode Four Behavior.
This is how most guys are: - Mode One 90-99% of the time, all other modes 1%-10% of the time - Mode Two 60-65% of the time, Mode Four 35-40% of the time - Mode Three 40-50% of the time, Mode Four 50-60% of the time - Mode One 20-25% of the time, Mode Two 40-50% of the time, Mode Four 25-40% of the time There are, of course, other variations ... but based on my observation, those are the most common. Bottom line: If you choose to be Mode Two or Mode Three, whenever you don't get the results you want ... especially after investing time and/or money ... you're going to automatically go to Mode Four. Like I said ... you're Mode One in those few instances you have the balls to be, but most of the time, you're either Mode Two or Mode Three. You're not alone. That's probably 50-60% or more of the guys on this message board. I tell all guys: Do what works for you. If "switching" between Mode One, Mode Two and Mode Three works for you .... by all means, do that. I don't rain on anyone's parade. But .... if you run into a highly skilled manipulator who leaves you feeling angry, frustrated and bitter ... don't come back crying to me Three strikes? Mine is ONE STRIKE for casual sex. You're spending time with women without getting anything in return. I don't do that. For a long-term relationship ... maybe. Not for casual sex. Not at all. Here is what is bothering me right now with many guys on this message board, and my forum in particular: The WHOLE PURPOSE of Mode One is to overcome your fear of rejection, and your fear of harsh criticisms. But yet, what are the top two criticisms of Mode One: "I get rejected too much" or "I get criticized too much." Uhm ...... DUH. It's like a professional baseball player coming to me and saying, "Alan ... I'm a home-run hitter, but lately, I've been striking out more and more. Can you help me?" So, I write a book telling him to essentially get rid of his fear of strike outs. Only concentrate on smacking the ball out of the park when he's in a position to. Next thing I know, this same guy says, "Alan ... now my home runs have decreased. I keep
thinking about striking out. How can I prevent myself from striking out? How can I hit home runs without striking out??" YOU CAN'T. This is what many guys on here don't realize. YOU CANNOT ***EVER*** BE TRULY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF BEING CRITICIZED and/or REJECTED. I would literally say that it is IMPOSSIBLE. I am in my 40s, and I can honestly say ... I have ***never*** met a man who was a top-notch ladies' man or top-notch womanizer who was dreadfully afraid of being criticized by women and/or rejected by women. Never. A guy will never be able to be Mode One with women, and ultimately successful with women, if he's afraid of those two things. He just won't. Anyone who tries to debate that or argue with that is wasting their breath. I never go on "dates" with women I want casual sex from. I say that in "Mode OneHARDCORE." That's a waste of time. A man is going to always feel angry, frustrated or bitter when he invests a lot of time and/or money pursuing a woman ... and then ultimately, gets rejected. It's just a fact of life. I say that in Mode One. That's the STARTING POINT. Asking yourself, "Why do I REALLY want to share this woman's company? One-night stand? Weekend fling? Long-term casual sex? Longterm monogamous relationship? What?" You can't really be Mode One if you don't know what you want. As I said before, if you're indecisive, that's when it's best to be Mode Two. If a woman is letting you finger fuck her, suck on her tits, etc., but she's not giving you any pussy or sucking your dick ... she's playing games. I'm more so about either hitting a 'home run' (fucking or getting my dick sucked) ... or striking out. I'm not too much into 'singles' (i.e., tongue-kissing), 'doubles' (i.e., feeling her up, caressing her ass and tits), or 'triples' (i.e., pretty much anything but intercourse and/or fullthrottle oral sex). This is what I meant by letting Mode Two Behavior "slip in." Mode One guys are HARDLINE. Mode Two guys are more lenient and accommodating. Why is it mandatory to have drinks? Nothing wrong with drinks ... but I don't think drinks should be a requirement. Bottom line: No woman should be able to get from you what she wants (flattering attention, entertaining companionship, etc) until you get what you want from her (physical intimacy/sex). It's really that simple. If a woman knows she can get what SHE WANTS without giving you WHAT YOU WANT, then what is her motivation to give you what you want?
Let your actions do most of your talking. If she doesn't give you the pussy WHEN YOU WANT IT/EXPECT IT, leave her alone. You need to have as much say-so in the "getting to know" period, and how long that should last, as she does. I've been Mode Two or Mode Three with women, and had them talking about sex. You don't have to be Mode One to get a woman to TALK about sex. If you approached a woman and started talking about the last 2-3 porno movies you saw, and she said, "You know what ... I love porno movies!! Can we watch one together so I can analyze each scene with you??", you might think that would be a "Mode One conversation." Nope. That woman could simply be a film critic and fan of adult films. Until you say, "I want you to watch this porno film with me while I'm sucking on your pussy...." (or some specific expression to that you plan on having sex with her) then it's not Mode One Behavior. Define for yourself what a "date" is. Why is a "date" important to you? What is being accomplished on this "date?" Mode Two has it's place. Mode One is when you have a very specific objective in mind, and you're not willing to waver from that. Mode Two is when you just really don't know what you want. Casual sex? Long-term relationship? Other? You just don't know. Women live for flattering attention. That is most women's "big thing." They want to dress nice to get it. They want to be sexy to get it. They will wear expensive make-up to get it. You would never find a man wanting to pose naked in a magazine just for flattering attention. A man would only do that to increase his opportunities for sex. Women literally get off on just getting flattering attention. I've had women tell me, "I would love to be a centerfold in Playboy just so I could have guys complimenting me and finding me desirable...." When I say, "what about actually fucking those guys who desire you?" they'll say, "Oh no. I don't want to actually have sex with them. I just want them to WISH they could have sex with me." That's how many women are. That's how they think. Attention is a drug for many of them. I rarely operate with "wingmen," so I can't totally relate to what you're saying. But to a degree, I get your point. I don't look at those two concepts as totally different. I think you can practice being Mode One, and improve your overall social skills, at the same time. Both have the same basis: Learning how to be social with people (and women in particular) is simply about talking to people about those things that you two have in common. It's really that simple. And if you don't have the same interests as the person you're talking to, you learn to listen to find out if you might learn to be interested in what they're interested in.
Mode One is the same way in regards to romantic and sexual interests. Mode One is basically like going up to a woman and saying, "My interests are XYZ, and I confidently believe that you have the exact same interests as I do. I seriously doubt if my instincts are wrong ... But ... I'll allow you to correct me if you truly believe I'm wrong...." Most of my Mode One approaches are based on that one attitude/belief. I see adopting Mode One Behavior in two ways: 1) If you truly understand Mode One ... and I mean, truly understand it ... Mode One is very easy to incorporate. It really is. You will feel yourself becoming more bold, straightforward and smooth with women week-by-week and month-by-month. 2) If you don't get Mode One, or are trying to use Mode One as a "get-laid-quick" scheme, you are going to be forever confused by it, disappointed by it, and frustrated by it. It will never click for you. There is very little in my book that is abstract and/or esoteric (i.e., open to multiple, different interpretations by the reader). My principles and philosophies are very specific, objective and action-oriented in nature. [Note:For the young guys who don't know what the terms "abstract" and/or "esoteric" mean, when advice is "abstract," that means that the advice one is giving can be interpreted ten different ways by ten different people; Abstract advice is advice that is more theoretical in nature than practical; "esoteric" is somewhat similar; When advice is "esoteric," that means that it is advice that can only be understood by a small, particular group of people (e.g., only rich people can understand your advice, only highly educated people can understand your advice, only Americans can understand, etc); Also, esoteric means your advice is not specific or action-oriented; Non-esoteric advice: "In order to lose weight, you need to eat right and exercise"; Esoteric advice: "In order to lose weight, you must connect with your inner sense of spiritual health and love the body you're in"] What is abstract and/or esoteric about telling me to approach women, and tell them their desires, interests and intentions in a highly self-assured, upfront, and straightforwardly honest manner? NOTHING. This is over half of the reason why years ago I got away from all of the 'clever,' bullshit methods of attracting and seducing women. Highly skilled manipulators can smell bullshit from a man a mile away. They know as soon as you approach them that you want to put your dick in their mouth and/or their pussy. You almost insult them when you try to pretend otherwise. Women are creeped out by men who approach them in a weak, insecure manner and start talking about things that the woman knows you're not really interested in. It makes them think you have some sort of "underlying motive." Most serial killers do that. They approach women ... talk about general, mundane shit ... and then they kidnap the woman and eventually kill her. Funny ... I just wrote that in a response above (before I saw this comment). When women think you have "underlying motives" that you're not being forthright about, that is what "creeps"
women out. When you want to have sex with a woman ... and you let her know that in a confident, straightforward manner .... that doesn't creep a woman out. It might FRUSTRATE her because she knows you're not playing up to her ego or trying to offer her an incentive or reward like a 'free dinner,' but trust me ... it does not "creep" them out. But when you want to have sex with a woman .... and you approach and start talking about the joys of interior decorating and gardening, that is going to CREEP A WOMAN OUT. Why? Because a woman KNOWS that the conversation is BULLSHIT. Believe it or not, there are SOME women who don't mind being used for sex. They really don't. But this is where Mode One comes into play. Women don't mind being used as long as THEY KNOW IT, and have AGREED TO IT. The number one time women don't like feeling "used" is when you've given them the impression that you WANTED MORE THAN JUST SEX from them. When I've had my various book club events and book signing events, most of the women admit this. They'll say things like, "I don't mind if a guy just wants a roll in the hay with me if he's upfront about it .... but don't have me thinking you want a relationship when you really just want some ass...." That's part of the essence of what I'm saying in my book. If all you want from a woman is the ass, TELL HER. There are many women who are down for just a one-night stand, weekend fling, or other variation of casual sex. But women don't like to be mislead. Guys need to eliminate all of this disingenuous, bullshit conversation and just be real. That's what I said in my previous response in this thread. Zan wants sex from women, but that's not all he focuses on. He is genuinely interested in various aspects of a woman's life that doesn't involve sex. That's what leads to genuine rapport and somewhat of an emotional connection. But again, you can't FAKE THAT. That has to be real. Most men are afraid of being perceived as superficial, shallow and/or manipulative .... even when in reality, that's exactly what many of them are. I don't believe in "rushing" a woman into sex. That's why ... with all due respect to crimeSTAR and his manual ... I'm not too in favor of chasing one-night stands. If a one-night stands happens ... that's cool ... but I never make that a priority of mine. I don't care if it takes me a few days or a few weeks to fuck a woman. Again, here's my thing: 1) If you're into all of this "rapport" stuff, it has to be real and genuine. Men need to stop trying to learn ways to 'fake' rapport with women. Look for aspects of a woman's life that you genuinely find interesting; and/or
2) If you really do just care about the pussy ... and nothing else ... have the balls to be upfront and straightforward about it. I do that all of the time. I tell some women, "Look ... I'm not going to bullshit you ... the only reason I'm talking to you right now is because I want to eventually see my dick in your mouth ...." Many women actually giggle when I say that. They will say shit like, "You are so forward ...." or "Oh my God! You are so honest!!" Be genuine ... Be straightforward ... or be BOTH ... but don't be phony, fake, and disingenuous. Women know men who are full of shit I would beg to differ, and I guarantee you that I could get 5000-10000 male readers of my book who would say that what you said is bullshit. You obviously did not thoroughly read my book, or you didn't understand it. The only thing I don't provide in my book is dialogue examples. I don't want people using my verbal approaches as "scripts" or "routines." Other than the absence of specific dialogue examples, I would dare anyone to say that my book does not teach them how to develop true self-confidence. True self-confidences comes mainly from TAKING ACTION. Doing something that you're scared to do. If you're afraid to approach an HB10 ... then approach her. Even if you get rejected. Just the fact that you approached her will INCREASE YOUR LEVEL OF CONFIDENCE. My book is all about that shit. You must've missed about four or five chapters of it..... KEYS, when you say that Mode One/Direct is "not working," what does that mean? For example, when I get rejected by a woman ... I don't consider that a "lack of success." I just chalk that up to a woman who does not share the same desires and interests as me. You're too focused on END RESULTS. That's not a good thing. Focusing on END RESULTS makes you more REJECTION-CONSCIOUS. Which essentially creates a FEAR OF REJECTION. You cannot have true power with women and true confidence with women if you are afraid of being rejected by them and/or afraid of being harshly criticized by them. Secondly ... reading your approach examples ... you engaged in too much question-asking and unnecessary flattery. You need to just go up to a woman and say, "I am attracted to you and I would like to share your company sometime in the near future...." (or something like that) Then, let the conversation flow from there. Click Here: Dave Chappelle's "Love Contract" You noticed, I just started using that "HB" shit in the last 2 weeks or so because other guys were using it.
I still think 2/3 - 3/4 of "pick-up artist lingo and jargon" is silly.
Having confidence/balls/backbone will NEVER hurt your ability to get laid. It might not always HELP you, but it will never HURT you. I've seen attractive guys get pussy ... I've seen not-so-attractive guys get pussy. I've seen wealthy guys get pussy .... I've seen guys who are struggling financially get pussy. I've seen educated guys get pussy ... I've seen uneducated guys get pussy ... I've seen tall, slim guys get pussy .... and I've seen short, chubby guys get pussy ... But I have **RARELY** seen a guy with a weak, insecure degree of self-confidence, a timid, hesitant approach, and/or a spineless, no backbone demeanor attract and seduce a woman unless he was offering money and lots of it. Women don't like WEAK MEN. Being timid, egotistically insecure, indecisive, and/or always looking to appease women and accommodate women generally turns women OFF. Just 2 or 3 years ago, I met an attractive, college-educated woman ... who has dated a number of "gangsta," thuggish type guys. The type of men you would never think she would go for. I asked her, "With all of your college degrees, why do you like low-life thug types?" She said, knowing about my book, "because they're Mode One. Most educated guys I meet go out of their way to try to impress me with money, gifts, flattery and all of that other stuff that bores me. Yeah, I'll use those guys from time to time, but generally they bore me. Some of the more thuggish type guys I meet are very bold and straight-up. They let me know that they don't take any shit, and they're not scared to speak their mind. I like that. I love a man with balls. That turns me on immensely." Quickest way to grow balls: Eliminate your fear of rejection and your fear of harsh criticism. Quickest way to eliminate those two fears: Read MODE ONE, of course. In my opinion, there is no such thing as "Romantic Direct" when it comes to casual sex. And that is my main criticism. Sorin, you've already admitted that part of your approach (for casual sex) is to give women the misleading impression that you "might" want a long-term, monogamous relationship with them. That, my friend, is **NOT** "direct." Now if we're talking about language/semantics here, I agree ... a Mode One "novice" should use PG / PG-13 language instead of R-rated/X-rated/XXX-rated language. But if we're talking INTENTION .... it is never a good thing to advise men to try to get laid by
pretending that they're not just trying to get laid. Men are going to get played that way.... Trust me on this .... When I was younger, that is .... without question ... the #1 thing that caused my self-confidence and self-esteem to rise. TAKING ACTION. Taking action towards approaching women .... Taking action towards improving my physique ... Taking action towards improving my level of education and knowledge ... Taking action towards improving my career success and financial success ... Taking action towards overcoming fears, obstacles and adversity ... You're never going to build confidence by doing the same things you've always done. You have to do something NEW, DIFFERENT, and MORE CHALLENGING to build confidence. You can sit in a chair, on a couch, or lay on your bed every day of every week trying to work on your "inner self," but that is not going to do JACK SHIT towards improving your self-confidence and self-esteem if it doesn't involve some sort of ACTION. Well, I guess it depends on how you define "romantic." From the time I was young, to be 'romantic' with a woman means to treat her "special" ... like she is the only woman in your life that means something to you (i.e., girlfriend, fiancee', wife, etc.). Now, some might use that term loosely, but in my book, no woman who I am having casual sex with qualifies for "romantic treatment." Why? Because I'm fucking other women. Hence, she is not "special." That's MY definition of 'romantic', as well as many others I know. But again, if you're using the term 'romantic' in a totally different manner ... then my statement does not apply. Everyone keeps trippin over the word "manipulation" like it's this really big deal. It is ... but it isn't. Here is how I define being manipulative in both Mode One and Upfront and Straightforward: 1) Anytime you are not being upfront and straightforwardly honest about your true desires, interests and intentions (e.g., giving a woman the misleading impression that you want a longterm monogamous relationship when you really want a short-term casual sex relationship) 2) Anytime you offer a woman a tangible or intangible "incentive" and/or "reward" in exchange for their companionship (e.g., offering to 'wine and dine' a woman in order to motivate her to spend time with you) 3) Employing criticisms, insults, and feelings of guilt on other people in order to stop them from
exhibiting behavior you don't like or prevent them from exhibiting that behavior in the future (e.g., making a woman feel like she's being a "bitch" for not having sex with you anytime you want it) There are a number of other forms of manipulation that men employ with women and women employ with men. Basically, anytime you interact with someone ... and you're giving them the impression that your interactions are MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL, but in reality, the interactions mainly benefit YOU, there is manipulation taking place. That's like saying if a basketball player keeps shooting the ball in an inappropriate manner, his confidence towards shooting the ball should increase. First, you have to learn the fundamental proper way of shooting the ball. Same with approaching women. Repeatedly approaching women in a weak, timid, hesitant, ineffective manner is not going to build confidence. The reason I know my book CAN help guys with low self-confidence is because it ALREADY HAS. For the last 3-5 years, I've received literally DOZENS of Email messages from guys who said they initially had almost Zero confidence, and now they are overflowing with confidence. One in particular was from London. I had a guy say he used to go to "pubs" (England's equivalent to a bar/restaurant) and just stare at the attractive women. He said after about 3 or 4 months of consistently exhibiting Mode One Behavior, he said he literally became a NEW MAN. He said all of his friends freak out on him now because he's so social and comfortable around women. He accomplished this improvement in confidence in less than six months! So, it depends on the guy ... and how much effort he's really making. As many on here have heard me say on interviews, this is why I started talking about manipulation, and why it is an integral part of my book: 1) I mainly wrote my book to help out "frustrated nice guys." That was my original demographic. Guys who were having success starting conversations with women ... maintaining conversations with women ... but were frequently being placed into "the friend zone." 2) It is one thing to feel disappointed or a wee bit dejected when an attractive woman rejects you, but it is another thing to feel "angry," "frustrated," and/or "bitter" towards women. I started asking questions not only of other guys, but even myself. What made me feel "angry" after being rejected as opposed to just "disappointed?" In regard to #2, the conclusion I came to was that you tend to feel 'angry,' 'frustrated,' and/or 'bitter' after you're rejected because you attempted to MANIPULATE a woman into being attracted to you, and it didn't work.
Let's use this example: Let's say you always come into a certain men's clothing store to shop for clothes. It just so happens that a really attractive, sexy woman works in this store. Now if you were to approach, express your interest to her, and get rejected .... it would be no big deal for you because you go to that store anyway. This would be representative of a "nonmanipulative approach." But let's say you had never been to this store before hearing that there was an attractive woman working there. You now go to this store SOLELY and SPECIFICALLY because you want to attract this woman and go out with her. Now, if she rejects you, you're going to feel more than disappointed. 90-99% chance, you're going to feel PISSED. Why? Because you went out of your natural course of activity in order to pay visits to this store. You changed and modified your behavior to achieve a specific, desired result. This is what happens when you are MODE TWO and/or MODE THREE. When you are Mode Two or Mode Three, you are essentially "changing" or "modifying" some aspect of your behavior for the sole and specific purpose of getting a woman to give you a positive, enthusiastic and reciprocal response. A Mode Two guy is one who changes his behavior to one degree or another in order to prevent and/or avoid harsh criticisms and negative reactions. A Mode Three guy is one who changes his behavior to one degree or another in order to prevent and/or avoid being rejected or ignored. That is why just about every guy who exhibits Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior ultimately ends up exhibiting Mode Four Behavior, if only temporarily. When I'm MODE ONE, I'm not offering to change my behavior in order to appease a woman. I'm behaving in the manner that I truly want to behave in. So when I get rejected, it's no big deal to me. But if you're a meat-eater ... and you "pretend" to be a vegetarian in order to fuck a woman who is a vegetarian ... and you fail ... 99% chance, you're going to feel PISSED OFF that you sacrificed eating meat for three or four weeks for the sole and specific purpose of getting some pussy. That's why manipulation is emphasized in my book. 1) When you're trying to get a woman's sexual attention and companionship by lying to them, misleading them or generally manipulating them, you're only going to feel good about your behavior if you achieve your results; But if you don't, nine times out of ten, you're going to feel pissed; 2) Even if you're not consciously trying to manipulate women, when you express your desires and interests to women in a vague, ambiguous and/or weak manner, you open the door for women to mislead YOU, which will also more-than-likely leave you pissed.
And that, in a nutshell, is the significance of manipulation as it relates to the Four Modes of Verbal Communication. Stop right there. You are making a HUGE MISTAKE by associating "rejection" with "failure." THIS IS .... BY FAR .... THE #1 PSYCHOLOGICAL MISTAKE OF MANY MEN ON THIS BOARD. If you had $20,000.00 to shop for a car, and you kept going to automobile dealerships that only have cars ranging from $25,000.00 to $40,000.00, would you look it as "failure" when they tell you that you don't have enough money to buy their cars? That's not failure. You're just in the wrong automobile dealership. When women reject you .... THAT IS NO REFLECTION ON YOU. It simply means you're approaching women who currently don't have the same interests as you. Trust me when I say this: As long as you continue to look at receiving positive, reciprocal responses from women as "success" and receiving unenthusiastic, non-reciprocal responses from women as "failure," YOU WILL NEVER BE LEARN HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN EFFECTIVELY. Never. Women will always be able to control and dictate your behavior simply by the use of THEIR REACTIONS to YOUR BEHAVIOR. Read the section in Mode One on "Compliments VS Criticisms." If a guy is suffering "pain" from rejection, he has an ego-problem ... not a confidence-problem. He is allowing his ego to become attached to a specific result that is ultimately out of his control. That's like me being a baseball fan, and I keep attaching my ego to the specific desire and expectation that the Chicago Cubs are going to win the World Series. If I do that, and they lose, I am going to experience emotional pain and egotistical frustration. You cannot allow yourselves to become "attached" to specific results, reactions, responses, etc. There you go again. THIS IS WHY YOU GUYS ARE FRUSTRATED. You are associating "success" with gaining a positive, enthusiastic and reciprocal response from a woman. This is where I guess I'm different than 90-99% of the men out in society. I DON'T DO THAT. My definition of a "successful approach" is simply when I approach a woman, and let her know what my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions are in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner. Once I do that .... in my mind ... that was a SUCCESSFUL APPROACH. Regardless of whether that woman reciprocated my interests or failed to reciprocate my interests. Because if you start basing "success" on THE REACTION YOU GET, then eventually, you're going to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING possible to get that certain reaction. If it means lying to women about how much money you make ... you're going to do it. If it means getting them drunk, or drugging them ... you're going to do it. If it means misleading them into thinking you
want a long-term relationship when you really just want casual sex ... you're going to do it. See, in my mind, THAT is FAILURE. You're letting your desired reactions CONTROL YOUR BEHAVIOR. In other words, WOMEN ARE CONTROLLING HOW YOU BEHAVE TOWARDS THEM. If a woman knows that if she criticizes you or gives you a negative reaction, you're going to change your behavior to please her and accommodate her, SHE IS PUNKING YOU. She is CONTROLLING YOU with her REACTIONS. No, it really isn't much more than overcoming those two major fears. You guys don't get that. Fuck that "inner world bullshit." Too many men on here are AFRAID OF BEING REJECTED and AFRAID OF BEING HARSHLY CRITICIZED. It is really nothing beyond that. Define "succeed." For the millionth time, you are associating "success" with something that is essentially OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. You cannot control a woman's response to you. You can't. Rejection is always "WIN / WIN" You are trying to get women to like you and respond to you favorably. Otherwise, you wouldn't associate 'rejection' with 'failure.' You ... and many men on here ... are "addicted" to POSITIVE REACTIONS from women. Think of that opening scene in Talk Dirty To Me for a moment. If 90% of the guys on this forum would have started receiving those harsh criticisms and negative reactions from that female doctor, you know what they would've done? They would have backed down. They would have apologized for making her feel "uncomfortable." They would have changed their behavior to be more pleasant and well-mannered. They would have probably walked away. You know why Jack didn't do that? Because he was MODE ONE. I know men who are just as afraid of playing sports as they are of approaching women. Matter of fact, when I was in college ... I knew guys who were very popular with women ... but if you put them on a basketball court, they looked like a deer caught in headlights. Don't generalize. Again, I vehemently disagree with you. I know men who find many other activities FAR MORE CHALLENGING than approaching women. You take heights. I can get on top of a skyscraper and look down like it's nothing. I know men who you couldn't pay them a thousand dollars to get up on top of sixty-story building and look down ... but many of these same men approach women like it's nothing.
You can INFLUENCE a woman's response and reaction to you by your behavior towards her ... but you cannot CONTROL it. Example: If I walk up to a woman on the street, and I smile and say, "You look so beautiful in that dress .... I hope your day so far has been wonderful!!", you are INFLUENCING that woman to give you a positive, enthusiastic, reciprocal response ... right? You would naturally expect this woman to say something like, "Thank you! That was so nice of you to say that!! You have a great day as well!!" Now. Let's say this woman's $50,000 Porsche 911 just got crashed earlier in the week, and on top of that, one of her big clients at her job reneged on a deal. You walk up to that same woman and say, "You look so beautiful in that dress .... I hope your day so far has been wonderful!!" and she responds, "Why don't you shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone." Did you "control" the 2nd woman's reaction/response by your behavior towards her?? NOPE. It was the EXACT SAME BEHAVIOR as what you said to the first woman, but the 2nd woman said "Fuck off." How do you feel now? 90% chance, you're going to say to yourself, "fuckin' bitch." (You're going from Mode Two to Mode Four) In other words ... once those words leave your mouth ... you have NO CONTROL over a woman's response. You can HOPE that she gives you a "positive" response, but you cannot GUARANTEE IT. The only thing in that interaction that you have 100% control over is a) what you say to both of those women, and b) how you respond to what they say back to you. When I approach a woman, my only objective is to LET HER KNOW WHAT I'M REALLY THINKING. There is a difference between your GOAL/OBJECTIVE and your MOTIVATION. This is what guys don't get. When I approach a woman, my MOTIVATION for approaching them might be to date them, fuck them, etc., but my GOAL/OBJECTIVE is to simply STATE MY DESIRES, INTERESTS and INTENTIONS. It's just like a job. If you are a doctor, your MOTIVATION for having that job is to EARN A LIVING (i.e., get paid), but your GOAL/OBJECTIVE is to examine patients, identify what their ailments are, and prescribe the best course of medicine and action to help improve their health. Have you ever heard the expression, "Hope for the best ... but prepare for the worst?" When I approach women, I confidently expect that a woman will reciprocate my interests .... but I am mentally and egotistically PREPARED to handle rejection, if and when it occurs. "Nobody????????" That is an absolute generalization. I don't allow OTHER PEOPLE to determine my self-worth. If over the next 2-3 months, I had 19 out of 20 women reject my advances, I would STILL BELIEVE THAT I AM THE SHIT. Anything else would be like Kobe Bryant having 5 straight games where he scored less than 20 points, and all of the sudden, he thinks he doesn't belong in the NBA.
If I get rejected over and over and over again, then that is when it is SELF-ASSESSMENT time. Am I overweight? Does my personal hygiene stink? Do my clothes look crazy? Every guy has to do that from time to time. Even self-analysis is a form of TAKING ACTION. Anytime you receive a less-than-desirable result from someone, and that throws you out-ofwhack, that is an EGO PROBLEM. My book, Mode One, is ALL ABOUT dealing with REALITY. If you think differently, you've never read my book. Just about everyone who reads my book says, "Alan ... that is one of the most REAL books I've ever read on dating and interacting with women...." You need to read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. He talks about the concept of "paradigm shifts." He basically says, in a nutshell, that what you associate an activity with affects how you behave, and the habits you exhibit. For example, if you associate smoking or using drugs with "relieving stress" and "pleasure," you will always smoke and use drugs. But if you were to associate smoking and using drugs with bad health and an early death, you would stop smoking and using drugs. Same with rejection. I never associate being rejected by women as an indictment of what I have to offer or don't have to offer. I look at rejection simply as being representative of me and the woman I approached don't have the same desires and interests. For me, it's not about HOW MANY TIMES I'm rejected as much as it's about WHEN I'm rejected and FOR WHAT REASON. The only time rejection is 'painful' for me is when I've invested time, money and/or emotions. That is it. Any other scenario ... doesn't bother me in the least. I bet in the last 15-20 years, I've been rejected by more women than any man on this board, and my self-esteem is still VERY HIGH. If a guy goes 5-10 years without getting laid, then that means one of 2-3 things: 1) He is approaching the WRONG WOMEN. He is approaching women who are looking for something that he doesn't have to offer. Either he's not wealthy enough for them, not educated enough for them, not funny enough for them, not articulate enough for them, not physically attractive enough for them, etc. He needs to approach a new pool of women. 2) Something about his approach is WEAK and INEFFECTIVE. This is where Mode One comes in. This is where I have helped many men. Many men are attractive enough, charming enough, intelligent enough, etc., to attract women, but their approach is too timid, too hesitant, too cautious, and just flat-out WEAK. Women, generally speaking, are not turned on by men who approach them in a weak manner. 3) The man is a bitter misogynist who is pretending to like women. Women can smell a misogynist a mile away. Self-esteem is important. I'm not arguing that. What I'm arguing is that it TAKES ACTION to
build your self-esteem. You're not going to improve your self-esteem looking into a mirror repeatedly saying, "People like you G-Lover! They really do!!!" As 3Under alluded to ... what is your argument? That men can't be successful with women by being Mode One? Or is it something else? Because I can tell you with FULL CONVICTION that I've seen men literally TURN THEIR LIVES AROUND as a result of Mode One. Matter of fact, if your read my Introduction, you will see ... initially, I did not even want to publish Mode One. I thought Mode One Behavior was something that would only work for ME. Then my older brother gave a pamphlet I wrote for him to some guys that worked for him in San Diego, and at least three or four of the guys experienced TREMENDOUS RESULTS in a SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. Actually, quicker than me ... and I'm the damn author. My brother had one guy who was going on a date with women approximately once every 2-3 months. Within 2-3 weeks after adopting Mode One Behavior, this same guy was going out with 2-3 women PER WEEK, and ended up fucking at least 2/3 of those women, if not more. Another guy was DREADFULLY afraid to approach women. I'm talking, a complete shy introvert type. He barely had enough confidence to even say "hello" to women. About 4-6 weeks after reading my pamphlet, he approached some hot chick (my brother said she looked like Pamela Sue Anderson from Baywatch) and simply said, "I have no doubt in my mind that you and I are going to hook up next weekend." He told my brother that when he said that, he almost shit on himself because he was so scared. But he and that woman ended up dating, and I think a year later, they were engaged. So, bottom line, you can offer all of these "psycho-analyses" for why Mode One won't work or shouldn't work, but the bottom line is, I get Email messages EVERY WEEK from at least 2-3 guys who say they feel like TOTALLY NEW MEN as a result of Mode One principles. And that's about all I'm going to say on this for today.... Let's say you were in a nightclub. And the Club Owner said "Don, there is one woman in this nightclub with an envelope containing $100,000. That money is for you. The catch is, this woman is not going to find you or approach you .... you have to go up to every woman in this nightclub and say, 'Excuse me ... do you have what I'm looking for??' That will be the 'code' that this one woman will recognize. You have no more than four hours to find that woman." If 30 women who DID NOT HAVE THAT ENVELOPE said, "Get out of my face jerk," would it bother you? Would you stop looking for the woman with that $100,000 envelope? A lot of men in the Seduction Community, Pick-Up Artist Community and even on this message board are essentially "Mode Four Misogynists." They want to have sex with women ... but deep-down, they despise women.
You're not alone in overcoming this obstacle. For starters, most men who exhibit Mode Four Behavior are usually guys who go back and forth between Mode Two and Mode Four, or they go back and forth between Mode Three and Mode Four. Then you have some guys that are in one mode 90-99% of the time. I would put myself in that category. I would say I'm Mode One no less than 90% of the time in my interactions with women. More like 95-99% of the time. But at ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN TIME, you are only in one mode. (in other words, at 8:02pm tonight, you can't be both Mode Two and Mode Four; You're going to be in either one mode or the other) DIRECT EYE CONTACT is without question the MOST EFFECTIVE FORM OF NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION there is between a man and a woman. I rarely approach a woman with a smile on my face. A smirk maybe, but never a full smile.... Smiling can go both ways, depending on the situation. It can be "warm and welcoming" ... or it can be flat-out "creepy." When people smile at me and I don't really know them, it doesn't make me warm up to them ... it makes me wary. Again, I prefer a 'smirk' over a full-throttle smile. But, you shouldn't go up to a woman looking evil or too serious either. That is the essence of Mode One. NO FAKE / PHONY / DISINGENUOUS behavior. This is why you don't attract women or believe in Mode One Behavior. You are in Mode Four. Just the fact that you have to refer to me as an "idiot" lets me know that you get frustrated very easily. Women don't like that. See, that is a misinterpretation of Mode One .... I've never said that Mode One Behavior is specifically about using profane language and/or XXX-rated language. I've never, ever said that. You can use PG-rated language, and still be Mode One. This is my take on what is "direct" and what is "indirect": Direct approach: You initiate a conversation with a woman, and at some point before that conversation ends, you let that woman know that you are interested in dating her and/or having [casual] sex with her at some point in the future. You express your desires and interests
to women in fairly forthright manner. Indirect approach: Anytime you approach a woman, and you try to date her by pretending that you're not trying to date her ... or ... you try to get a woman to have casual sex with you by either a) pretending that you're not trying to have casual sex with her and/or b) you pretend as though you're interested in a long-term monogamous relationship even though you're really interested in casual sex; You express your interests to women in a manner that is vague, ambiguous, cautious and "beat-around-the-bush" Complimenting women is a "double-edged sword." It can HELP YOU or HURT YOU. If the compliment is GENUINE ... nothing wrong with it, especially if you follow it up with an "action comment" (e.g., "You have nice lips ... I can't wait to see if you're a good kisser ....") But if the compliment is designed to earn 'brownie points,' you're wasting your time. It's about WHAT YOU WANT. Don't do anything WITH a woman or FOR a woman JUST TO PLEASE HER. If you're doing something because YOU GENUINELY WANT TO, and she knows what your long-term desires and interests are, then it's all good. Don, I don't know if I agree that Mode One Behavior is only conducive for "large venues" .... because I know men who have exhibited Mode One Behavior in "small venues" or small geographical areas and still got the results they wanted. From approaching a lot of women, and slowly but surely coming to the realization that YOU are in control of how you behave towards others ... no one else. I started out being Mode One with women anywhere from an average age range of 18 - 24, and since, have been Mode One with women anywhere from 19 - late 40s. Some women's behavior and reactions to Mode One Behavior differ from one age group to another, but generally, women are women. Some older women ... and I emphasize, SOME ... will be more 'sexually liberated' once they hit 35 and older, and therefore, won't give you many of the "theatrical reactions" that you tend to receive from women who are younger and/or more immature .... but I'm reluctant to generalize by age. As someone already mentioned, as long as the woman understands what your intentions are .... semantics/words are secondary. I've had many women read my backstory, and actually, a lot of them want me to write an "erotica" styled book based on my Mode One approaches and seductions. I'm still marinating on that (i.e., thinking it over). Women love eroticism in written form (i.e., erotica books) just like most men love eroticism in visual form (i.e., adult films/porno flicks). That sort of stuff tends to turn them on. You can be "open to all outcomes" without being misleading or manipulative.
Straightforward: "At this point ... I don't know what type of relationship I want six months from now or a year from now ... but I know right now, I want to exchange orgasms with you indefinitely. After a few weeks, we'll see what happens..." Misleading: "I am really interested in having a long-term relationship with you right now .... you feel like my soulmate!" (and then, after a few weeks of sex, he dumps this woman) Doesn't change the fact that at ANY and EVERY GIVEN MOMENT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Every man knows what they want RIGHT NOW. You may not know what you want two weeks from now from a woman, two months from now, or two years from now, but you always know what you want TODAY. You don't have to say (to ALL women) "This will be ONLY a fling...." You could say, "Right now, the only thing I'm interested in is a short-term fling ... but who knows what the future holds?" When he says, "verbally explicit" ... does he mean using XXX-rated language? or does he simply mean being specific with your intentions? I don't believe you should just ever leave it up to a woman to ASSUME what your intentions are. That's being both COWARDLY and MANIPULATIVE. Later .... you can easily say, "I never said I wanted to date you .... I always knew I only wanted casual sex." This guy sounds a lot like Carlos Xuma. In other words, he's saying "many women like pleasant lies." And I agree. Many women DO like being told "pleasant lies." Because they know you're open to being manipulated. Only a very manipulative woman loves a man who lies. Why? Because she knows she's lying herself. Can't you see the BLATANT CONTRADICTION in that statement/question? "Do you really think telling LIES all of the time is dishonest and misleading? I don't think so." Only a MANIPULATIVE person would justify lying. Women don't need to be lied to. That is bullshit. Honesty is honesty. You can't change the definition of "honesty" to fit your own desires and needs. No ... BE A MAN and tell women what you are REALLY THINKING and what you REALLY WANT from them. I don't bullshit women. Even if it possibly means I won't get the pussy. All men always know what they want RIGHT NOW. You know RIGHT NOW ... TODAY ... if you want to kiss a woman, or not kiss a woman. You know RIGHT NOW ... TODAY ... if you want to have sex with a woman within the next week or two, or if you don't. You might not know what you want from a woman beyond say, the next month or two, but you generally know what you want from women in the short run.
Honestly, that is sort of a "tough" question to answer. In many respects, I don't believe in "leagues." I tend to approach any woman I am interested in ... and if she rejects me, she rejects me. But at the same time, there are always going to be women looking for a certain collection of attributes. And if you don't have that combination of attributes, you're out of luck. But all things being equal, I would always make the assumption that there are more women who are attracted to you for what you currently have to offer than there are women who are not attracted to what you have to offer. I never "reject myself." I wait for women to reject me. I approach every woman with the CONFIDENT ASSUMPTION that she is attracted to me and shares many of the same romantic and/or sexual interests that I do. In my experience, women like to know that you want to fuck THEM. Not "just any pussy" or "just any piece of ass." Desiring casual sex doesn't necessarily make a woman feel cheap, but treating a woman like a whore does. In my opinion, if you only want a one-night stand or weekend fling from a woman, it doesn't really fucking matter how that woman thinks she's being perceived. But when you're looking for a woman to fuck (non-monogamously) over a period of weeks or months, it does matter. Women want to feel like they bring something 'unique' and 'special' to the table. You can use XXX-rated language with a woman, and still make them feel wanted and desired. I leave reciprocation up to the woman. As you said 3Under ... all I care about is did I express my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions in the most highly self-assured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner. This, my friend, is the essence of a TIMEWASTER. A classic "Attention Whore." They will do exactly what you described. They'll engage you in entertaining conversation .... even many times, XXX-rated conversation ... but they won't give you any sign that they're going to let you fuck them. They literally just WANT THE ATTENTION. For you guys who recognize these types fairly quickly, congratulate yourselves. I'm the creator and author of Mode One, and I'll admit ... it took me YEARS to start learning how to identify these types. They are sly and sneaky in how they operate. I'm not going to "bad mouth" Janka because obviously he has a methodology that works for him, but I will make it clear ... his behavior towards women is NOT representative of Mode One. Some guys have told me, "Alan ... you and Paul Janka are just alike!!" Uhm ... nope. Now, to his credit, he did say some things that I definitely agree with, such as...
1) "Wining & Dining" women BEFORE you have sex with them is overrated, if not ineffective (I say this in Mode One-HARDCORE) 2) You shouldn't ever change or modify your behavior for the sole and specific purpose of pleasing women, accommodating women and/or impressing women (I say this all of the time) 3) Women are the ultimate decision-makers regarding sex (unless you rape a woman, they always make the final call) I think he said one or two other things I agreed with as well. Things I disagreed with: 1) Janka, similar to Carlos Xuma, believes you should just be sexual towards women with your BEHAVIOR more so than your WORDS; I disagree with that. This is how you get accused of "date rape," or at minimum, invite the attention of dick teasers. 2) Similarly, Janka said that being too verbally direct with your sexual intentions "kills the vibe" between you and the woman; I disagree with that BIG TIME. For me, if anything, it's JUST THE OPPOSITE. When I talk about my sexual desires, interests and intentions with women ... that usually ENHANCES the vibe Janka had at least one blatant contradiction: In the early part of the show, he said that being too [verbally] direct was not recommended, because you never know where the chemistry between you and a woman might lead you (i.e., you might start off thinking you want only casual sex, but later on realize you might want a serious relationship); So this was his main justification for avoiding being verbally direct. But then, minutes later, he admitted that most of the women he has casual sex with, he knows at the time he meets them that all he wants from them is casual sex. My attitude is, if you know for a 100% fact when you meet a woman that all you want is a onenight stand, weekend fling or other variation of casual sex ... why WOULDN'T YOU be verbally direct about that?!? That seemed very inconsistent and contradictory to me. Other than that though, I generally enjoyed picking his brain about his approach. This is my personal definition of "manipulation," as it relates to the Mode One philosophies and principles: 1) Anytime a person has one set of desires, interests and intentions, but they intentionally give another person that misleading impression that they have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions ... this would be representative of manipulation. Examples: A man who really is only interested in casual sex/non-monogamous sex PRETENDING as though he is interested in a long-term, monogamous relationship; A woman who really is only interested in a platonic friendship giving a man the MISLEADING IMPRESSION that she has
some degree of romantic and/or sexual interest in him 2) Anytime a person offers another person an INCENTIVE and/or REWARD in order to motivate them to exhibit behavior that is conducive to their own needs and desires Examples: A man who consistently and excessively flatters women in order to motivate them to spend time with him in a romantic or sexual manner; A woman who lets a guy have sex with her in order to motivate that man to pay her bills and help her out financially Anytime you're offering tangible or intangible incentives and rewards to people in an exchange for a desirable response, that is representative of manipulation. If you tell the person what you want, that's not really manipulation. At least, it's not 'unethical' manipulation. If I say, "I'm going to treat you to dinner in exchange for you giving me a blowjob," that is more so a mutually agreed upon business transaction than manipulation. A lot of people have this mistaken impression that "getting laid" is the only form of "success" with women, and I've repeatedly said .... I disagree. "Success" comes in all forms: 1) A man who was previously afraid to approach women PERIOD (i.e., a Mode Three Timid), but now he approaches women and expresses his interests to them regularly; 2) A man who always had the confidence to approach women, but tended to frequently engage in a high degree of "entertaining small talk" before letting his true interests be known (i.e., your class Mode Two Nice Guy), but now this same guy has decreased his 'fluff talk' by 90% or more; 3) A man who was constantly going around flattering women and quickly offering to 'wine & dine' them (i.e., a Mode Three Target), but now he rarely offers to spend money on women before he knows what their true interests are and keeps his flattery at a bare minimum; 4) A man who was previously very resentful, angry and bitter towards women in general (i.e., a Mode Four misogynist), but now he respects women as human beings, and doesn't strictly look at them as vessels to release his cum into; 5) A man who used to allow women to generally WASTE HIS TIME thinking that he was going to "one day" date these women or fuck these women, but now he forces women to let him know UPFRONT whether or not they have an interest in him romantically/sexually ... or don't have any interest; All of the above-mentioned are SUCCESS STORIES. And I get Email messages EVERY WEEK from at least one guy in each of those categories Getting laid has never been my "top priority" and/or #1 objective for exhibiting Mode One Behavior. I say that in my book: Seducing women and getting laid is more so a "by-product" and/or "fringe benefit" of exhibiting Mode One Behavior.
The main reason why I exhibit Mode One Behavior is to ... 1) Maintain an attitude of "egotistical indifference" towards being rejected, ignored, criticized, and/or disliked; Once you become afraid of any of those four psychological factors, your behavior towards women will eventually become weak and ineffective; 2) Quickly and effectively identify women who are "Manipulative Game Players" and specifically, "Timewasters." If there are two things I don't like to waste, it is TIME and MONEY. You can be Mode Two / Indirect and Get Laid. You can be a Mode Three Target, and go around and buy some sexual companionship (i.e., Call Girl, Prostitute, etc) to get laid. It's okay for getting laid to be a 'secondary' priority of yours, but if getting laid is your ONLY objective and/or priority, I will tell you now ... you will end up feeling disappointed and frustrated while exhibiting Mode One Behavior on a consistent basis. Mode One-HARDCORE will never be made into a paperback (sorry). Upfront and Straightforward should be on Amazon.com in about 2 or 3 weeks, you can actually order it RIGHT NOW from BookLocker.com My #1 objective would be in line with TouchinTheNightSky. To Always Let Women Know What I'm REALLY Thinking, and what I REALLY want from them .... along with a very strong desire to not waste time interacting with women who would ultimately end up rejecting me and/or not having sex with me jprekop, I compare it to losing weight and improving your physique, if you were a man who was fat/obese and terribly out-of-shape. If you were fat .... and lost weight to the point where your physique was more appealing and athletic, would you attract more women? 90-99% chance, YES. Would you want attracting more women to be your #1 objective for losing weight? NO. Why not? Because if you make attracting women your only objective for improving your physique and/or your #1 objective for eating right and exercising, then as soon as you lose weight and start attracting dozens of women .... guess what? You're going to go right back to your old eating habits and laziness. Same with if your results are disappointing (e.g., you're only attracting 3 women per month instead of your desired 8-10 women per month). You will lose your motivation to maintain your new eating habits and exercise habits. Same thing with Mode One Behavior. If you're only objective for exhibiting Mode One Behavior is to get laid, then the minute you either a) start getting laid like crazy ... or on the exact opposite end, b) don't get laid at a rate that is up to your expectations, you're going to lose your motivation for exhibiting Mode One Behavior.
I want to be Mode One with women whether I get laid ... or don't get laid. I don't want my motivation for exhibiting Mode One Behavior to become "inconsistent" and erratic. This is why I'm against making "getting laid" as your #1 objective or only objective. Possible Online Courses offered by Mode One - Survey If I were to do six classes, I would charge somewhere between $200 - $250 If I were to do four classes, I would charge somewhere between $150 - $175 If I were to do three classes, I would charge somewhere between $125 - $150 If I were to do two classes, it would more than likely be around $80 - $110 And if it were just one [long] class, my MINIMUM would be $50.00 Ian Coburn Interviews Alan Roger Currie CLICK HERE for interview The Erotic Conversationalist is available for download I always say ... it is better NOT TO SAY ANYTHING "BOLD" and/or "SEXUALLY PROVOCATIVE" to a woman ... than to say something bold and provocative, and then APOLOGIZE FOR IT later. I'm not against going up to a woman and just saying "Hey, let's get together and fuck.." because I think it's "too bold," or "rude," or "crass," or "socially inappropriate." I could care less about those perceptions. I just don't like it because you haven't qualified a woman yet. I only do that sort of approach if I know for a 100% fact ahead of time that the woman is single. If you went up to a woman and just said, "Wanna fuck?," and her psychotic husband is standing 6 feet away with a loaded gun, you might get your ass shot. That's all I'm saying. "Reciprocators" = When you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to them in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforward manner, 99% chance, they're going to immediately reciprocate your desires and interests. "Rejectors" = When you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to them in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforward manner, they are going to usually very calmly let you know that they do not share the same desires and interests as you do. Very rarely, if ever, will they get "theatrical" in their reaction. "Pretenders" = When you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to them in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforward manner, they will initially respond to you as if you are "offending them" and being "rude," "crass," or "too forward." Pretenders do not want to give off the impression that they are an "easy lay" or a "slut," so they quickly become very, very defensive. But deep-down, they are attracted to you, and intrigued by your level of self-confidence
"Timewasters" = When you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to them in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforward manner, they will initially and indefinitely give you the misleading impression that they share the same desires and interests as you, but the reality is, they're waiting for you to 'offer' them something ... such as flattering attention, an offer to 'wine & dine' them, or to spend time with them as an emotional tampon/listening ear to their problems. Soon as you let these types know that you're not going to offer them anything of value (other than your dick), they will let their REAL interests be known (or should I say, real lack of interest) There you have it.... Define "works." I don't define "success" as simply getting laid. If I express my desires and interests to a woman, and she rejects me immediately, I still consider the fact that I exhibited Mode One Behavior as "success." This is "failure" in Mode One terms: 1) Any time you allow yourself to be "intimidated" by a woman's presence and/or your own "fear of rejection" to the point where you don't even approach a woman (end result: Mode Three Timid) 2) Any time you exhibit enough confidence to approach a woman, but you immediately begin engaging in a high degree of "entertaining small talk," and you wait until the very end of the conversation to let the woman know why you REALLY approached her (end result: Mode Two Pleasant Postponer) 3) Any time you exhibit enough confidence to approach a woman, but you do nothing but flatter her, offer to 'wine & dine' her, and carry on a conversation that is designed to "impress her" by highlighting your career success, your financial success, and your material possessions; You never, at any point in time during the conversation, let your REAL desires and interests be known (end result: Mode Three Target) 4) Worse than any of the above three, you approach women only with the intention of insulting them, harshly criticizing them, and immediately treating them like a street whore, a slut and/or a bitch ... mainly because you are so bitter towards women because of your past disappointments, frustrations and rejections, that now you're only purpose is to just make women feel bad about themselves (end result: Mode Four Misogynistic Revenge Seeker) Those are the only four scenarios where tend to view your lack of Mode One as "failure." But if you exhibit the behavior of a Mode One Self-Assured Straightshooter .... even if the woman doesn't reciprocate your desires and interests ... that is STILL "success" in my book.
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