Mens Health Sex Tips

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from the editors of Men’s Health © 2011 by Rodale Inc.

Expert Advice You Can Trust—from Men’s Health! Men’s Health is committed to offering responsible, practical advice for the intelligent man— supported by professionals and legitimate scientific research. We believe that an active and healthy sex life, based on mutual consent and respect between partners, is an important component of physical and mental well-being. Still, we respect that sex is a private matter and that each person has a different opinion of what sexual practices or levels of discourse are appropriate. Our goal—for sex and all other topics—is to publish information that empowers men’s lives. Project editor: Krissa Strauss Copy editor: Beth Gehman Cover designer: Judy Ross Book designer: Maureen Logan Photography: Bananastock, p. 10; Bananastock/Alamy, p. 6; Dex Images/Getty Images, p. 7; Digital Vision/Getty Images, cover, p. 11, 12, 13, 14, 16; Glow Images/Getty Images, p. 3; Masterfile, p. 5; Photo Alto, p. 8; Christopher Robbins, p. 4; Stockbyte/Getty Images, p. 2;

Conten­ts

2 Your Passport

to Pleasure

Welcome to the United Nations of Great Sex

3 Arousal around the World

Light her fire and enhance your pleasure

6 The Fine Art

of Foreplay

The continental techniques of touching

9 Global

Positioning The ins and outs of world-class sex

14 Foreign

Your Passport to Pleasure

Welcome to the United Nations of Great Sex Some of man’s favorite things

come from other countries. Off the top of our heads, there’s the Porsche, a pint of Guinness, and the French maid uniform. That got us thinking. Mostly about the French maid, but also about what we can learn about pleasure from the other 192 countries in the world. So we dusted off our passports and dug up some of the world’s best sex secrets. Consider this our United Nations of Great Sex, where representatives have gathered in one place with one common goal in mind: to make you the world’s best lover. We’ll take you from the intriguing scent that screamed sex to the ancient Greeks to the art of the famous French kiss, from Australian fun with cell phones to the African herb known to ignite potency, from the Asian secret for multiple orgasms to the British vehicle built for adventurous sex . . . what, you’re still reading the introduction?! Turn the page, and get ready for takeoff!

This is the United Nations of Great Sex, where representatives have gathered in one place with one common goal in mind: to make you the world’s best lover.

Which Foreigners Have the Most Sex? Country Russia

Per Year 122

France

121

Greece

115

Brazil

113

Hungary

110

Great Britain

109

Source: Durex Global Sex Survey

Which Country Has the Best Sex? These ratings are based on sexual satisfaction of partners: 1

Canada

2

Mexico

3

England

4

Italy

5

France

6

Australia

7

Russia

Source: Durex Global Sex Survey

Fun and Games

Top secrets for undercover spice

Your Passport to Pleasure

Sex Tips from Around the World

Arousal Around the World

Light her fire and enhance your pleasure rousal is the body’s sexual response, the one that gets a penis erect and a vagina lubricated. But it can be more than a physical state; it can also bring emotions into play. No matter what your definition, one thing’s sure: The best sex—for both you and your partner—doesn’t happen without some degree of arousal. Want secrets from the rest of the world for getting the fires roaring? We’ve got ‘em.

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Percentage of German men who are aroused by women’s under arm odor

99.87 Percentage of American men who would probably refuse to take part in such a silly study

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From Germany:

Make It Fragrant German men are attracted to body odor because underarm hair sends out scent-gland odors intended to attract a potential mate. We prefer our women to shave and to exude a less natural scent. Try misting her with Sexual Arousal, a perfume that combines the scents of cucumber, lavender, and pumpkin. Research conducted at Chicago’s Smell and Taste Research Center found that men who smelled the scent experienced a 40 percent increase in penile bloodflow, which, according to at least one study, is a very good thing. The perfume is about $20 a bottle. From Sweden:

Work Up a Sweat Together A study in Sweden involved two dozen volunteers who agreed to sniff several different chemicals while having their brains scanned by imaging machines. Testosteronebased chemicals caused a huge spike in hypothalamus

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activity in women, while estrogen-based chemicals caused similar activity in men. (The hypothalamus is a part of the brain implicated in reproductive function and hormonal control.) Hormones like those used in this study are commonly found in human sweat, says Windy Brown, from the neuroscience lab at the University of California at Berkeley. Couple that with sports bras, and you’ve got plenty of reason to exercise together. (Not to mention, a study of women at Chicago State University found that nearly one in four had been aroused—some even climaxed—while exercising.)

Sparklers with Continental Appeal The next time you want to get the mood just right, try matching a little bubbly from France or Spain to the occasion.

JAUME SERRA CRISTALINO ($9).

A bottle of this Spanish bubbly and the two of you will be speaking the same language by midnight. But keep it on ice; less expensive sparkling wines like this one start to taste rough as they warm up.

FREIXENET CORDON NEGRO BRUT ($12). With this Spanish sparkling wine, also known as cava, you’ll get excellent quality for the price. Not that she’ll notice when she’s drinking the last glass! 1995 PERRIER-JOUËT BRUT FLEUR DE CHAMPAGNE ($130). Here’s the one to bring when she cooks you a special meal. It’ll show her that you have an eye for quality, and not just in babes. And she’ll save the great-looking bottle for a vase. 1993 DOM PERIGNON ($155).

The ultimate French champagne for the ultimate occasion—the proposal, the anniversary, the paid-off mortgage. Sure, it’s almost a cliché, but only because Dom Perignon has been so good for so long.

Sex Tips from Around the World

From France:

Keep Her Fires Burning Like all guys, Frenchmen think about sex all the time. But unlike the rest of us, the French are constantly working on it. The more you tease her during the day, the more willing she’ll be at night, says Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. Make erotic calls to her at work. “The dirtier the better,” she says. Doctor’s orders. From Italy:

Better Sex through Flirting

20

Percentage of French people who claim to have no interest in sex

48

A study from the Gestalt Institute may have Percentage finally revealed Italian men’s “top secret” of American formula for sex. In a survey of 1,000 Italian people who men, researchers found that an overwhelming claim to have 72 percent have a flirtatious bond with at no interest least one coworker—and that all the flirting in sex strengthens their relationships with their partners. Sound crazy? The finding might not be as out there as it seems. We asked sex therapist Isadora Alman to explain the phenomenon. Why does flirting at work boost your sex life at home? And if it works, how do you get away with it without ending up single and/or unemployed? “There are a number of reasons frequent flirting at work can be good for you,” says Alman. First of all, it promotes what sex therapists call simmering, meaning it helps to keep you sexually excited all day long. So you’re more eager to have sex with your partner once the workday is over. It can also help to reduce workplace stress and anxiety. But the biggest reason flirting is good for men, according to Alman, is because it helps to boost our egos. “Being able to flirt successfully is a great boost to a person’s self-esteem,” says Alman. “If you feel good about yourself, and can flirt without crossing borders your partner has set or jeopardizing your job, you’re going to become more confident and self-assured. And that boost in confidence and sexual energy can make you more attractive and more desirable to your partner,” she says. The key to flirting at work, of course, is to do it without injuring your reputation in the office or endangering your relationship with your partner at home. Do it only with people who are at your immediate job level, or who are in different departments. “You don’t want to flirt with an underling and risk a harassment charge, and you shouldn’t flirt with a superior and risk it looking like you’re using sex for personal advancement,” Alman says.

Flirting at work can boost your sex life at home. But how do you get away with it without ending up single and/or unemployed?

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And to be fair, you need to make it clear—to your partner as well as your co-flirters—that flirting is all you’re doing, and that nothing more will happen. “Whatever you’re saying should just be talk,” says Alman. “You can say things like ‘if only I were single,’ but follow them up with things like ‘obviously I’m not.’” From Czechoslovakia:

Woo Her with Words If romantic athletics was an Olympic event, Zdenêk Fibich would be a gold medal winner and world record holder. Who? Fibich was a Czechoslovakian composer who lived during the last half of the 19th century, at the height of the Romantic movement. When he fell madly in love with Anezka Schulzova, one of his piano students, Fibich wrote more than 376 piano pieces to her, each one a musical portrait of an emotion Anezka made him feel, a memory they shared, or some particularly pleasing aspect of her anatomy. He wrote, for example, a series of compositions describing Anezka wearing different clothes. He wrote a piece about Anezka asleep. He wrote pieces describing her hair, her tongue, her hands, seven pieces portraying her breasts, and even one about the nail on her little finger. Perhaps it goes without saying, Fibich’s passion was returned. There’s a lesson here, guys. Tell her she’s beautiful. What? You say you’re no composer? You don’t have to be. You just have to show that same kind of attention to detail. She needs to hear that she’s attractive, that you find her beautiful, that the turn of her calf makes you tingle, that you sometimes stop in the middle of your workday to daydream about the nape of her neck. Tell her again. She needs to hear this from you on a regular basis, not just when you’re first courting her or trying to get her into the sack. Why do women need to hear this stuff ? Consider the images that the media bombards them with day in and day out. “The images of women are typically around 19, that is, young. They’re always gorgeous, according to White notions of what gorgeous is, and they’re always very, very slim and sexy. And now with the craze on having big breasts, they also have a lot of cleavage,” says Nijole V. Benokraitis, Ph.D., a sociologist at the University of Baltimore.

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Arousal Around the World

Sex Tips from Around the World

You can make a mighty difference in your relationship if you take the time to tell her how much she excites you.

From their first Barbie on, little girls are given the message that this is the way they’re supposed to look. And, of course, few women do. “Most of the women that are in those ads don’t look like that in real life,” Dr. Benokraitis says. “Most women don’t even come close. So women from the time they’re very little feel very inadequate. They feel very insecure.” And again. That’s why you can make a mighty difference in your relationship if you take the time to tell her how much she excites you. “If men realized the enormous pressure that women feel about not being this 19-year-old image on the cover of Vogue or Seventeen, they could do all kinds of things,” says Dr. Benokraitis. “Even just saying, ‘You know, I’m really glad I know you. I think you’re great. I forget to tell you how important you are to me.’ If men complimented women without emphasizing the physical part of it, that would endear them to women to no end. I guarantee it.”

From Greece and Persia:

Scents That Scream Sex The ancient Greeks considered the licorice smell of anise to be sexconducive, and it still ranks high among both men and women in scentpreference surveys. Ginger was the Persians’ scent of “burning desire.” As for rose, there must be some reason why it’s inspired love through the ages. Jasmine is associated with the night, when passions bloom. More clinically speaking, it’s thought to increase your awareness of your surroundings by promoting the brain’s electrical waves. Sandalwood, which aromatherapists say mimics the human scent, is all the rage these days, much as patchouli was in the 1960s. Essential oils are strong; the ones we mention shouldn’t touch your skin in an undiluted form. The general recommendation for dilution is 15 to 18 drops of the essential oil to 1 ounce of a carrier oil, such as sweet almond, olive, or vegetable oil. You can find essential oils at health food stores; and when you buy them, you’ll see that there are lots of ways to get the scent working in a room, including scented candles, incense sticks, steam devices, fancy diffusers, and simple spray bottles. From Australia:

Have Fun with Your Cell Phone A study conducted in Australia by Virgin Mobile showed that 1 in 15 Australians has engaged in cell phone sex (yes, people actually study these things). So we talked to sex expert Anne Semans, author of The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, to see how Americans can get in on this trend. Her suggestions: Please her in a public park. Take your phone to the middle of a crowded public park, then call your partner at home and make her squirm. 5

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“Not only is this as close as you’ll probably get to sex in public, but there’s the added thrill of knowing that people might be overhearing your experience, so you can explore your exhibitionist tendencies,” says Semans. Get on the highway to heaven. When you’re stuck in traffic, call each other and talk dirty. Bring people from cars around you into your fantasies (by describing them, not tapping on their windows). Suddenly, you’re having group sex on a crowded freeway. Give her a buzz she’ll never forget. Use your cell phone in conjunction with a remote control vibrating panty. Then go to a crowded bar and sit far enough apart so that you can see each other but not talk. Call her on your phone and talk dirty while you please her via remote control. Engage in a lingerie fantasy. Have her take her cell phone into the dressing room of a lingerie store and describe what she’s trying on, how it looks, how it makes her feel, what she’ll do to you when she gets it home . . .you get the idea. Make her sing “Good Vibrations.” The next time you’re in a restaurant or bar, have her set the phone to vibrate mode and discreetly set it in her, uh, lap. Call her from another line and she’ll get a vibration. Repeat as often as necessary.

Have her take her cell phone into the dressing room of a lingerie store and describe what she’s trying on.

From Italy’s Casanova:

Ask Her What She Thinks Despite his unremarkable looks, no man is more renowned for his power over women than Casanova. His name has become synonymous with seduction. During his 73 years, he made love to noblewomen, actresses, chambermaids, slave girls, five sisters (plus their mother), a transvestite, a hunchback (with “an excitingly misplaced vulva”), a nymphomaniac, and two unrepentant nuns—132 ladies in all. He was, quite simply, irresistible. And the 200-odd years that have passed since his death have only embellished his reputation. The reason women found Casanova so fascinating is that he found them so fascinating. In fact, he believed that without engaging conversation, physical pleasure was uninteresting. It’s not difficult to get a woman to talk about herself. Just ask open-ended questions and shut up. But you have to be sincere about it. Casanova’s success with women stemmed from his genuine interest in them. He touched their hearts before daring to venture anyplace else. Arousal around the World

Sex Tips from Around the World

The Fine Art of Foreplay The continental techniques of touching

mericans often look at foreplay as work. But in the rest of

world, it’s half the pleasure. Next time, try incorporating one or more of these into your routine, for a sexual experience that’s less than routine.

From France:

From Simmer to a Boil The French are famous for romance. Here’s their recipe for making her as hot as a fresh croissant. Increase heat. Good foreplay is synonymous with setting the mood. This sounds like a no-brainer, but remember to lower the ringer on the telephone, let the machine take your calls, dim the lights, and play some soft music. Light candles, if you like. Get a fire going in the fireplace. And get comfortable. Bring her to a roaring boil. Start by massaging her feet, then move up her legs to the area behind her knees. Pretend your fingers are gently painting a canvas, says Lou Paget, a sex educator. “Don’t just use a straight stroke—swirl it.” This adds an element of surprise that delights nerve endings. Now, move up the front of her thighs to the area where her legs and groin meet. “If you massage that spot with a thumb and forefinger, it will bring tremendous sensation energy to the area,” says Paget. (And yes, you want energy in this area.) Eventually move your hands up her belly to her breasts. Touch the underside of her breasts, too. “It’s more sensitive than the top of the breast, and it’s an area that most men tend to ignore,” says Dr. Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. Caress the inside of her arm, which is especially sensitive because it’s rarely touched, and her hands. Move to her neck, her shoulders, and the area behind her ears. (“There are some women who can reach orgasm just by having that area played with,” says Paget.) Finally, massage her head and scalp, and eventually move in to collect your reward.

Relaxing, focusing on the moment, and breathing evenly and deeply will help youlast longer through the night.

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Encore from France:

Master the Famous French Kiss Contrary to common assumption, French kissing refers not to a single act but to a glorious array of osculatory activities that range from the slightest touch of two tongue tips to passionate probing of seldom-explored regions of her mouth and beyond. Spend some time on French kissing. Start slowly, with lips only. Wait for the kisses to deepen on their own before you introduce your tongue. Even then, do it as subtly as possible at first. To up the ante, let two criteria guide you: your sensations and her responses. Feel what’s going on, and pay attention to the feelings. Improvise. Don’t do things with your tongue simply because you’d planned to. Let the moment be your inspiration. Opportunities abound for two-way communication, a kind of lingual call and response. Go with it. Make it last. A good French kiss is as intimate as intercourse. Still, resist the temptation to just shove it in there. Many women love French kissing when they’re ready for it, but everyone hates it when they’re not. It’s no fun when you’re expecting a kiss and get a simulated tonsillectomy instead. Follow the universal rule of lovemaking: Never proceed to the next step until both partners are clearly ready for it.

A good French kiss is as intimate as intercourse.

FROM The Chinese:

Get Horny with a Weed Epimedium grandiflorum—better known as horny goat weed—has been used as a sex enhancer in China for 2,000 years, says Steven Margolis, M.D., an alternativemedicine physician in Sterling Heights, Michigan. Its nickname comes from the animals who eat it on the mountainsides in China and the result it’s supposed to have on them. The herb has also been reported to stimulate sexual activity in both men and women, and it’s thought to increase sperm production. What’s been proven: It increases testosterone production in mice. “Horny goat weed is not Viagra, which is a mechanical agent that promotes erection,” says Dr. Margolis. “It has an enhancing effect on arousal, and it may play a role in making orgasms more powerful.” Dr. Margolis often prescribes horny goat weed—in conjunction with maca, a Peruvian ginseng—to patients who are suffering from a lack of sexual arousal. “The studies that have been done so far have shown no harmful effects from taking horny goat weed,” says Dr. Margolis. “But like anything else, you shouldn’t abuse it. It could cause dizziness if taken in very large quantities.” What we recommend: While horny goat weed seems to have the potential to help without causing serious side effects, you should talk to your doctor before starting any herb regimen that hasn’t been tested on humans. And if you are having problems with a low libido, the best idea is to ask your doctor to check your testosterone levels—if you’re low on the male hormone, he should be able to prescribe something to Art help. of Foreplay The Fine

Sex Tips from Around the World

Once More, from France:

Celebrate with Champagne “Food, drink, and sex are all related because they’re very oral, sensual, pleasurable activities. The image of someone greedily licking or sucking a juicy peach or asparagus spear is very erotic because that’s how you’d like them to hungrily devour you,” says Suzie Hayman, sex counselor and author of Pandora’s Book of Sexual Fantasies. Cosmetics giant the Revlon Company surveyed 1,000 people and found the most sensual foods to be champagne or wine (34 percent), strawberries (29 percent), chocolate (23 percent), and whipped cream (19 percent). Apparently pork chops didn’t make the cut. So bring food into the bedroom, drip chocolate mousse onto your partner’s breasts, dine naked, and eat off each other. Play with contrasting sensations by alternating ice cream or an ice cube with warm custard. Actually, whatever you have on hand can work. “Some people find the art of eating oysters erotic or sensuous, but eating almost any food with the right frame of mind can be just as erotic,” says Marilyn K. Volker, Ph.D., a sex therapist in private practice in Coral Gables, Florida. “Try having your partner eat a hot dog or banana and then show her what you can do with your tongue and some ice cream. “You’ll be surprised at the results,” Dr. Volker says, “because you’re adding this sensual, visual element to eating.”

Food, drink, and sex are all related because they’re very oral, sensual, pleasurable activities.

From Sweden:

Sex in a Bottle? It’s blue, comes in a bottle, and may increase your partner’s libido. If you guessed Viagra, you’re wrong. It’s a new herbal elixir called Niagara, and some say it may hold the key to keeping the woman in your life sexually sound. The manufacturer claims the drink derives its powers from natural ingredients including damiana, ginseng, schizandra, and caffeine—as much as an 8-ounce cup of coffee. Patti Britton, Ph.D., a sexologist in

From Olde Engl and:

Say Cheers to Your Sexual Health A keen porter in Shakespeare’s Macbeth has the definitive last word on alcohol and sex when he says that drinking “provokes the desire, but it takes away from the performance.” “Alcohol, which is a drug, can turn up the hypothalamus, the brain’s sex center, and that’s why many people find they’re uninhibited and aroused when they’re drinking,” says sex therapist Dr. Marilyn K. Volker. “But alcohol is also a depressant, and too much will have a real depressing effect on your sex drive and performance.” More than, say, two drinks in an hour is enough to send your libido packing. In one study, researchers found that men who had a blood alcohol level of .06 took significantly longer to ejaculate. Many men whose level was .09 were unable to ejaculate at all. (For comparison’s sake, to raise the blood alcohol level to .05, a 7 M E Nman ’s H E A LThave H /to W O Mroughly E N ’ s Hthree E A LT H 150-pound would drink mixed drinks in 1 to 2 hours.)

Los Angeles, claims that this concoction does have potential, but since there’s no scientific evidence that it works, it’s too early to tell if it is the real deal. “Thirty-two to 50 percent of effects can be produced by placebo, therefore products with no clinical studies are largely invalid,” says Dr. Britton. And most compound products don’t contain enough of any one herb to do anything. So, don’t waste your money on a beverage that that may not do anything for your partner’s sex drive—especially when you could be spending that money on a good bottle of wine. From Italy:

Seduce Her with Your Voice The sound of your voice, ecstatic ums and ahs, sweet and sexy talk—all these can contribute to raising lust levels sky high. You might even think about serenading your partner once in a while. It’s no coincidence that Caruso—hardly the prototype of male beauty, but could he sing—received far more fan mail than Valentino, the greatest screen lover of all time. If you can’t nail those notes, don’t worry—you just need the right words of passion. Women are much more verbal than men. They like men to talk about their desires and fantasies. But it’s tough for guys to verbalize their feelings. Dirty talk can help you bridge the gap, make you a more communicative lover, and a more playful one. Here are some ground rules to help make you a master of aural sex. Talk first, act later. Use dirty talk as a form of foreplay. That talk could start at the breakfast table; you could create a daylong thread of conversation that ultimately leads you to the bedroom. Engage in pillow talk. Talking doesn’t have to end at the bedroom door. “A lot of women complain that their husbands never talk during sex. In fact, they don’t make any noise at all,” says William Hartman, Ph.D., codirector of the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, California. So talk. You don’t have to give a running commentary of the game at hand. But don’t be afraid to tell your partner what feels good, or ask what she’d like to do next, or announce what you’re about to do to her. Watch your tone. Of course, sexy talk involves more than words; it also involves your tone of voice. For example, saying something very basic—“I want to kiss you right here”—in a breathy whisper can be much more romantic and arousing than a matter-of-fact statement in a normal tone of voice about where your lips are going next. Watch your language. It’s hard to talk sexy without using a few racy words—they don’t call it dirty talk for nothing. Nevertheless, be mindful of what you’re saying. Avoid four-letter words that your partner might find offensive.

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The Fine Art of Foreplay

Sex Tips from Around the World

From the US:

The Potency Herb Shifting hormone levels can lead to a man’s worse nightmare—a declining sex drive. But there’s an herb that can help—saw palmetto, a vigorous palm that’s native to the southeastern US. A string of convincing human clinical trials suggests that saw palmetto relieves conditions caused by changing hormone levels, most notably a poor libido.

From Egypt:

Strengthen Your Erections If you’re a regular reader of Men’s Health, you may know that kegel exercises—which work the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles in your lower abdomen—can improve the strength of your erections. But research from Egypt suggests that focusing only on the PCs could be a mistake. In a paper published in the Internal Urogynecology Journal, Ahmed Shafik, M.D., a professor of medicine at Cairo University, suggests a muscle group known as the levator ani also plays an important role in erections—and orgasm. “The levator ani muscle is connected to the neck of the bladder by a small ligament,” says Dr. Shafik. “Contracting that muscle during sex appears to help elevate the bladder and straighten out other muscle groups, allowing for a better quality of erections and better flow of semen during ejaculation.” When you do kegels, you’re focusing on the PC muscles, not the levator ani muscle. Although both are part of the same muscle group, you control each muscle individually and can flex them both separately. You probably already know how to find your pubococcygeus. It’s the muscle used to stop the flow of urine. The levator ani muscle group is close by, but involves a slightly different contraction. It’s one of the muscles that controls bowel movements. To find it, think of the type of muscle contraction you use, for lack of a better term, to scrunch up your butt. The sensation should be similar to the one you get when stopping the flow of urine, but slightly more forceful. If you already do kegels, try adding a few sets of levator ani exercises to your existing routine. Or, if you’re new to the whole kegel phenomenon, try these suggestions from marriage and sex therapist Michael Perry, Ph.D. First, flex and release the pubococcygeus muscle as fast as you can 10 times. Then, repeat with the levator ani muscle. After that, flex the pubococcygeus muscle again, and hold it in that position for 3 seconds. Release it for 3 seconds and then flex it again. Repeat the process 10 times, and then move on to the levator ani muscle. “The whole process should just take a couple of minutes,” says Dr. Perry. Once you’re familiar with the process, try to do five sets of the entire routine every day. Within a few weeks, you’ll likely see a noticeable improvement in your sex life. Why? Two reasons: First, psychologically, once you start doing the exercises you become more familiar with how it feels to control these muscles. “This can make you more aware of the muscles during sex, which can heighten pleasure,” Dr. Perry says. Secondly, as you build the muscles you flex them, forcing more blood in and out of the muscle fibers. The better the bloodflow to your genital region, the better your overall erection strength will be.

The better the bloodflow to your genital region, the better your overall erection strength will be.

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Saw palmetto has also been called “old man’s friend” because it slims down an overgrown prostate, also called benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH). Oddly, the herb is prescribed both for people who crave sex too much and for those with no sexual appetite at all. To help your 50-plus body think it’s still 30-something, try taking two tablets of the dried berry (500 mg each) twice a day.

From China:

Touch Her in Places She Can’t Resist Chinese acupressure tradition says that massaging a woman in the right places will directly affect her ability to reach orgasm. Use your thumbs, then palms, to make firm circles in these hot spots. The center of her chest, around her breastbone. Theory: Induces calm by “opening the heart,” says Talena DeBaun, a licensed acupuncturist at the Arizona School of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine. Down both sides of her spine, to her lower back. Theory: Brings warm energy to the pelvis. Her belly, from her navel down to her pubic bone. Theory: It’s the physical center of the body, and ultimately critical to a person’s sexual satisfaction. Inner legs, working from the ankle up. Theory: Arouses the energy line that begins at the big toe and moves up her leg to the all-important groin area.

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From Russia:

Catch a Traitor Now we know why Russian men lost interest in a Cold War: They were so preoccupied with their wives’ hunger for stuffed blini—and their own desire to plant warheads in neighboring territories—that they just couldn’t be bothered with superpower politics. Their keen interest in domestic affairs is something you might want to consider as well, if you suspect your mate of improper alliances. As in any espionage case, it all comes down to how you pose the question. Don’t ask her face to face. Men have a hard time detecting lies because they often don’t pick up on slight inconsistencies in language or tone. Your partner may say “nyet,” but you might be able to tell if she’s lying by asking your question on the phone. You’ll have a better chance of picking up unusual voice inflections or stuttering—either of which may suggest she’s trying to cover something up.

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Percentage of Russian women who admit to having cheated on their partner during their relationship

50

Percentage of American women who admit to having cheated on their partner during their relationship

The Fine Art of Foreplay

Sex Tips from Around the World

Global Positioning The ins and outs of world-class sex

reat sex takes more than a willing partner and 3 spare

minutes up against the fridge. (Well, most of the time, it does.) Half of it depends on intimacy between you and your partner. The other half is technique. Wondering how the rest of the world is doing it—and what you could learn from world-class lovers? Check out our tour of great sex. From Brazil:

Don’t Let Her Fake It

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Percentage of Brazilian women who at least occasionally fake orgasms

70

Percentage of American woman who at least occasionally fake orgasms

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Get soapy. Have her stand facing the showerhead (for direct clitoral stimulation) and enter her from behind. In this position, your hands are free to do the handiwork that the showerhead can’t handle. If you suspect she has more fake-out moves than Allen Iverson, try this technique to stimulate her. With your palm up, penetrate her with your index and middle fingers. Move your fingers up, down, and to the sides as you slide them in and out. Sex educator Lou Paget suggests using the same motions with your fingers that your legs would make if you were doing the breaststroke. Your fingers should be near her perineum—which is behind her vagina. If you feel contractions there, that’s an honest-to-goodness orgasm, because women can’t control those contractions the way they can control ones near their vaginal wall.

The second half of great sex is great technique.

Also from Brazil:

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Tame your tension. You can increase your stamina by reducing your muscle tension, says Marc Goldstein, M.D., a professor of reproductive medicine and urology at Cornell University. Here’s one way: Think of a topless beach in Rio. Another way: Have her mount you (preferably on a topless beach in Number of Rio). Your muscle tension is greatest when you’re supporting minutes the your own body weight, so any position in which your back is average flat on the bed, or car hood, will work. Also, alternate between man in shallow and deep thrusting, instead of using one steady Brazil lasts rhythm. “You want to increase stimulation gradually, and the during sex best way to do that is by making slow, deliberate thrusting motions rather than fast, uncontrolled movements,” Dr. Goldstein says. Play green light–red light. You can also go the distance by practicing the Semans Stop-Start Method— named for James Semans, the famed Duke University Number of urologist (much cooler than a bronze plaque on the minutes the campus library, no?). Try this training exercise for a few average man days before the big event: the United First, work up to a “light-duty” erection, says Linda States lasts Banner, Ph.D., a sex therapist and spokeswoman for the during sex Sinclair Intimacy Institute. Then consciously lose it. Work up to a second, fuller erection, then lose that one. Finally, work up the fullest erection you can, take notice of your point of inevitability (a.k.a. the “Oh God” moment), and let it fly. Why go to all this trouble? “This routine helps you learn where that point is, so you know when to pull back,” says Dr. Banner. That teaches you more about staying power than any book.

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From England:

Tell Her Sex Is Good for Your Health Play on her sympathy and tell her you need more sex because the doctor ordered it. Sex may be the best thing for your heart since quadruple bypass surgery. Researchers at the University of Bristol in England found that men can cut their risk of dying of cardiovascular disease in half by having sex three or four times a week. Sex is just as good an exercise as walking for reducing the risk of stroke, according to a university spokesman. (This doesn’t excuse you from going to the gym, though. You burn only about 27 calories during a 15-minute session in the sack, which will leave you happy but fat.) From Australia:

Double Your Stamina

Use It or Lose It

Want to last longer? Here are a couple of techniques that should do the trick.

Nobody has ever questioned the testosterone Down Under: They play football without pads and wrestle crocodiles. So why don’t they seem to need to spend any time enticing their own amphibious creature to the

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Global Positioning

Sex Tips from Around the World

19 32

Percentage of Australian men who have mild erectile dysfunction

Percentage of American men who have mild erectile dysfunction

surface? Maybe it’s the testosterone. Deficiencies in the hormone are a main contributor to erectile problems, and studies show that your testosterone can drop by 1.2 percent each year of your life. So get pumped. “Even thinking about sex more frequently can help to boost testosterone levels,” says Dr. Rachel Carlton Abrams. So will eating meat, having more sex, and playing General Maximus in Gladiator.

More orgasms for her = more sack time for both of you.

your knees (stick a couple of pillows under your butt if you need help maintaining the angle). Have her straddle you and then lean forward. She can brace herself by putting her hands on top of the headboard (or against the wall). Gravity will draw her breasts away from her chest, turning her Bs into Cs right before your eyes. Fondle as needed. A woman who has big breasts: The best position is standing rear entry, because it prevents her breasts from rolling and hiding under her armpits, says Paget. Plus, your hands will then be in a natural position to cup her breasts. Move to the bathroom, and stand directly in front of the mirror. She can lean on the sink for support as you enter her, and the mirror will provide an unobstructed view of her body, face, and double-decker bust.

Also from England: From France:

Pay Attention to Her Breasts Some chaps might pick up a British tabloid for a daily glimpse of buxom page-three girls, but we suggest wrapping your mitts around something else. In an Internet poll, two-thirds of respondents said they are sexually aroused by breast fondling (nipples in particular), and two-thirds of those women have reached orgasm that way. There’s no one “correct” way to fondle a breast, but there are some techniques that seem to drive most women wild. First, resist the temptation to clutch a breast or two before the first kiss is over. Nobody likes to be grabbed, especially by surprise. Caress the surrounding area first. Create a little anticipation. It’s most pleasurable for both of you (and both of them) to start gently, even if the arousal level is high. Then, once you’re in hilly terrain, think beyond rubbing Percentage of and squeezing. Vary the stroke, increase the English men intensity gradually, move to the nipples later who consider rather than sooner, and above all, pay attention breasts to her responses. If she seems to be cringing to be the or pulling away, that’s a pretty good clue that sexiest part of she’s not loving what you’re doing. As always, a woman’s body encourage her to let you know what feels good. If you and your partner enjoy sucking, start with soft licks on the breast itself, moving to the nipples gradually and shifting to gentle sucking only when you sense that she’s ready and willing. When the fondling moves forward, here’s what Percentage of to do with . . . American men A woman who has small breasts: If who consider you’re with a woman who has a B cup or smaller breasts (B cups sell more than any other bra size), try to be the this position. Lie on your back with your head sexiest part of near the headboard, your knees up, and your feet a woman’s body flat on the bed. Lift your pelvis until your body is in a straight line between your shoulders and

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A Position Guaranteed to Please Her Lie down on your back, with your partner straddling you on her knees. After you introduce her to your Eiffel Tower, have her arch her back and lean backward at a 45-degree angle, so that she can support her weight on the palms of her hands. Use shallow upward thrusts to stimulate the upper wall of her vagina. This position allows you to hit the clitoris easily, as well as give her control over the speed and depth. “That significantly improves her chances of reaching orgasm,” says Judith Seifer, Ph.D., professor of sexual health at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. More orgasms for her equals more sack time for both of you. From Ancient Mesopotamia:

Woman on Top

Some guys balk at woman-ontop positions because they’re intimidated. While woman-on-top positions put her in a “superior” position—they let her determine penetration, depth, thrusting, rhythm, and movement—they’re nothing a sexually confident man should be afraid of, experts say. They’re nothing new—the earliest known cave drawing, found some 3,200 years ago in the Ur excavations of Mesopotamia, shows a woman on top. This position gives her maximal stimulation, since you’re hitting her clitoris more directly. And, if you generally climax too quickly, it’s a good position for you, too—you’re more likely to last longer.

Global Positioning

Sex Tips from Around the World

From Austria:

More Secrets of Her Twin Peaks Austrian researchers have found that an oft-neglected region of the breast, the northern part from roughly 10 o’clock to 2 o’clock, provides even more arousal than her nipples. Investigate with light kissing and a gentle massage using the heel of your hand, not the fingers. The palm gives even sensation without causing pain. From Germany:

G Marks the Spot The G-spot has taken on mythic proportions in the annals of sex. Proponents say it is the most powerful and mysterious of erogenous zones. And it’s certainly one of the hardest to find. Named after Ernst Grafenberg, a German obstetrician/ gynecologist who discovered it in the 1940s while researching birth control, the G-spot is defined as a conglomeration of nerve endings, blood vessels, and glands amassed around a woman’s urethra on the inside, front wall of her vagina. Some experts say the G-spot acts as a magic sex button for some women and is responsible for female ejaculation, a phenomenon not unlike our own, except that a woman ejaculates clear fluid, not sperm. Not all women feel something when you stroke the spot; some feel that they need to urinate. But for those who respond well to G-spot wrangling, it can be a source of overwhelming orgasms—even leading her to ejaculation. So where is this legendary happy zone said to be situated? On the upper part of the vaginal wall, 1 to 2 inches behind the back of the public bone. Here are two ways to help you attempt to locate and stimulate the G-spot. Get on your knees. Ask your partner to lie down on a bed with some pillows under her hips, so that her legs are spread and her bottom is slightly raised. Straddle her torso, facing her feet, so that you’re supporting most of your body weight on your knees. With a slow, gentle touch, stimulate your partner’s clitoris. When she’s really aroused, slip two fingers into her vagina, keeping your hand palm up so that your fingertips can brush against the front, top part of her vaginal wall. If she has the G-spot, you’ll feel a small knob of firm flesh about the size of a bean or two. As you stimulate her G-spot, don’t be surprised if she explodes with ecstasy and gushes fluid. Many women say orgasms stimulated from the G-spot are more intense than clitoral stimulation. Position yourself for success. Another way to stimulate the G-spot is to use proper positioning. Certain sex positions allow better G-spot stimulation than others. Your best bets are most womanon-top positions and nearly all

The G-spot acts as a magic sex button for some women.

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8.07 inches

Length of the most popular condom in South Africa

rear-entry ones. These allow your penis to contact the vaginal wall head-on, so to speak, thus stimulating her G-spot better. From South Africa:

Make the Most of What You’ve Got

South African men came up with a good excuse for why they don’t wear condoms: They said their condoms didn’t fit. Durex now makes the Comfort condom, which has 10 millimeters more cargo space. Now the South Africans are happy. But Length of the most what if your masculinity is more like popular condom in Liechtenstein than Russia? Remember, the United States supersizes really only count in weapons, offensive lines, and drive-thrus. So during sex, push against her pubic bone when you thrust; you’ll be more likely to hit her clitoris—making your penis seem to do the work of one twice its size.

7

inches

From Italy:

Build a Powerful Groin Researchers at the University of Milan in Italy found that stronger pelvic muscles lead to stronger erections. To train them, concentrate on contracting the muscles you’d use to stop urinating (they’re called the pubococcygeal muscles, for those of you serious about your studies). Your plan: Every time you get an e-mail at work, do six quick flexes. Hold the last one for 5 seconds. From Kuala Lumpur:

Forget the Spot, Hit Her Hot Zone An expert in Kuala Lumpur (really!) recently discovered a new highly sensitive area that’s so much bigger than the G-spot that it’s technically been dubbed a zone. The anterior fornix erotic (AFE) zone—listen closely, the directions aren’t on MapQuest—is located about an inch or two up the back side of the vaginal wall, opposite the G-spot. Because of its location, the AFE zone is actually easier

From GERMANY:

Once May Be Enough for Her Don’t worry about making a heroic stand in the bedroom every time. According to studies, bringing your partner to orgasm once a night may be all it takes to satisfy her. German researchers found that after orgasm, most women’s bodies release hormones that may trigger a drop in sexual desire. “We believe that it’s like a built-in on/off switch for sexual desire,” says Michael Exton, Ph.D., one of the study authors. Differences in the hormonal response may explain why some women are ready to go again right away, while others like to cuddle.

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Sex Tips from Around the World

to stimulate during sex than the G-spot. The best way to make sure you hit it: Have her climb on top and position her body high up on yours— almost as if she were riding you the way a jockey rides a horse. With or without the whip. From Asia:

More Intense Sex

The formula: “Slowly, start with nine shallow thrusts, followed by one deep thrust,” says Felice Dunas, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Passion Play. “Pause for a second, and then subtract one shallow thrust and add one deep thrust, so that you perform eight shallow thrusts and two deep thrusts.” Continue through the process until you’re doing one shallow thrust with nine deep thrusts. It takes a while to get through a full set. If you don’t make it, don’t worry— it gives you something to shoot for next time. If you do make it through a set, start the process all over again. Pull it all together. This position, “Monkey Attacks!”, may have a scary name, but it will leave you and your partner breathless. Ask your partner to lie on her back and raise her legs. Then kneel between her legs, gently pushing them back toward her chest until her buttocks and lower back come off the bed. Penetrate, then use your hands to support the weight of her lower torso as you execute the thrusting patterns above. Go face-to-face. Another technique to try: “Cranes with Necks Intertwined.” Sit cross-legged, and have her sit on your lap, facing you, her feet on the bed beside your thighs. After she slides onto your erection, hold her buttocks to help guide her up-and-down movements. Besides the benefit of face-to-face sex, this position enhances clitoral and G-spot stimulation for her, says Dr. Dunas.

Tantra is a method of lovemaking designed to prolong sex and make it more intense and more spiritual. Without entering a trance or seeking religious enlightenment, you can take Tantric tricks and reap the benefits, including greater ability to pleasure your partner and very, very powerful orgasms for you. Sounds great, right? So how do you do it? Add energy to your orgasms. Lay down on your back on a firm surface. Bend your knees, and From Norway: start taking long, slow, relaxing breaths—trying not to think about anything besides the movement of air through your lungs. As you exhale, squeeze in with It turns out there is such a thing as bad sex. In a study of your PC muscles (the same muscles you would use 33 men and women aged 25 to 52, Norwegian researchers found that 30 had had at least one to stop the flow of urine) and flatten your back. Then, “negative sexual experience”—usually it was a one-night stand, usually involving alcohol. When as you inhale, rock your pelvis and arch your lower the subjects told the researchers the dirty details of their encounters, a few common themes back out again, filling your lungs like a balloon. As emerged. you alternate between inhaling and exhaling, focus on If you’re going to have one-night stands, follow these rules. trying to push the heat you’re creating in your groin up Don’t have sex with someone you know. A key component of the to your head. Let it course through your body. successful one-night stand is never having to see the other person again. If you share a car pool What you’re teaching yourself to do: or play bridge together every Wednesday night, you’ll quickly get in over your head. That goes Despite all the new age mumbo jumbo, energy double for folks in the office: sleeping with someone you work with is the kiss of death to your orgasms can help you to become more aware of your self-esteem in weekly meetings, according to the study participants. body and what it takes to turn you on. They can also Don’t let your beer do the talking. Even if you’ve been drinking, take a help to improve your ability to focus during sex, which minute to step back and observe the situation as an outsider. Is this really somebody you’d be can improve your staying power and lead to more talking to if you were sober? If you’re already feeling the first twinges of embarrassment, it’s powerful orgasms. only going to get worse. Pass. Alternate shallow and deep thrusting. Don’t assume the encounter means something. Surprisingly, the Although Tantra contains many different tips for study findings showed that men were actually more likely than women to feel guilty and hurt improving sexual performance, one of the most after realizing a one-night stand lacked emotional significance. If you’re not sure what she wants important and most basic is a mixture of shallow and from you, ask “are we having a one-night stand?” If you don’t like the answer at night, you’ll like it even less in the morning. deep thrusting. Shallow thrusts help to arouse the urge for sex, according to one Tantric principle. Long Be wild in bed. If it’s going to be purely about sex, make sure it’s worth it. The more thrusts, in contrast, are more loving and stimulating. fun you have, the more you’ll look back fondly on your night of passion—and at least feel like you

Avoid Bad Sex

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got something good out of it. Concentrate on her pleasure first (the more she enjoys herself, the more you will) and on techniques that delay ejaculation. Change positions frequently and make a lot of noise.

Sex Tips from Around the World From Engl and:

Drop the Guilt More from Asia:

Aim for Immortal Sex Taoists (pronounced “dow-ists”) believe that the sexual glands in the body are connected to God’s intelligence and creativity. By harnessing this connection, and performing sex in a certain way, you bring yourself closer to God. Taoists believe that humans actually need sex in order to survive. They believe that sex glands help produce hormones, a “fire” which helps rejuvenate cells and tissues throughout the body. If the sex glands function improperly, or aren’t used or satisfied enough, cells die, the brain starts to underperform, and the body ages. Ultimately, Taoists believe that sex can help the body achieve immortality. We’re not sure about that, but we’re definitely willing to give it a shot. Become multiorgasmic. Taoists consider an orgasm to be everything you experience during sex up to the very last couple of seconds before release. That feeling, they believe, you may experience as often as you wish. “In Taoism, you can allow your body to come close to climaxing as often as possible, as long as you stop yourself before climaxing,” says Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. “All you have to do is pause prior to ejaculating, contract your PC muscles, breathe in, and press the head of your penis or your perineum with your hand to prevent ejaculating,” she says. “These techniques help keep you from going over the edge and releasing your sexual energy.” Don’t worry, we’re not suggesting you need to stop ejaculating. In fact, the very opposite is true. What’s useful with this technique is that it promotes reaching the brink of ejaculation, and then pausing and starting the process over again. Taoists suggest doing this in order to maintain your sexual energy. We’re suggesting it because it helps build your staying power, which can lead to a more powerful, more exciting release once you finally do ejaculate. “If you have half a dozen orgasms and then ejaculate, you will only lose about half as much energy as you’d lose after one orgasm,” says Dr. Abrams. That’s their math. Our math says you get seven orgasms for the price of one. Not too shabby. Take it slow. “In Taosim, entering a woman before she’s ready is a major sexual faux pas,” says Dr. Abrams. “To help her get ready, hesitate slowly near her vagina. Or try standing behind her and using your fingers, which allows you to approach her clitoris and vagina from the same angle she pleasures herself from,” she says. “Use smooth circular

Taoists believe that humans actually need sex in order to survive. . .if the sex glands aren’t used or satisfied enough, the body ages.

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Nothing gets in the way of an afternoon of pleasure quite like the guilt that you’re enjoying yourself a little too much. Now research suggests that guilty thoughts, like those that sneak their way into your sex life, could actually be making you sick. In a survey of 302 people, presented at a conference of the British Psychological Society, researchers asked about how guilty people felt after each of several pleasurable activities. The researchers then studied levels of antibodies within the subjects. They found that those who reported having the most guilt over pleasurable activities also had the lowest levels of immunoglobulin A, an immune system antibody. Since high levels of the antibody are associated with better health, researchers assumed that the lack of pleasure in the guilty subject’s lives was at least partially responsible. “People who had the most guilt also reported having the most illnesses and needing to visit the doctor most frequently,” says psychologist and study coauthor Geoff Lowe, Ph.D. Whether they enjoyed the activity or not, the low pleasure-to-guilt ratio was negatively affecting their health. If you’re going to do something you think you shouldn’t (especially something harmless like masturbation), at least enjoy it. “Guilt is an important part of life,” says Dr. Lowe, “because it keeps you from indulging in things that you know are bad for you. However, pleasure is equally important and necessary. And this study shows that those who frequently indulge in guilty activities appear less healthy. You need to enjoy low-guilt pleasures as much as possible, otherwise the effects of the guilt on your overall health ultimately defeat the beneficial effects of pleasure.”

Either that, or stop feeling guilty about the things you already enjoy.

movements around and over her clitoris. Rub between the vaginal lips and then try rubbing the lips of her vagina against one another.” Once she’s ready, don’t penetrate her all at once. Pause after entering her an inch or so, and withdraw again. Continue entering slightly and withdrawing again. This helps to stimulate the most sensitive parts of the woman’s vagina, and will help to build her overall stimulation, says Dr. Dunas. Act like a screw. “The Taoists recommend that a man rotate his hips during intercourse,” says Dr. Abrams. “This helps him fully stimulate all the walls of a woman’s vagina.” Go behind. “Man from Behind” is a classic Taoist position. The man lies flat on his back on a bed or flat surface. The woman kneels over him on her knees, her back to his face and her legs along his side. The woman then squats down slightly, guiding her partner’s entry. By leaning forward, she can control the strength of his thrusts and the depth of his penetration. “This is a great position that’s highly arousing for both partners,” says Dr. Abrams. “It makes the woman’s vagina feel especially tight, which both partners enjoy.” From India:

Act like an Animal In The Ananga Ranga, an Indian sex classic written in the 15th or 16th century, the author reminds readers that even royalty need a little foreplay. This Muslim-era tome shares what the court physician said to Maria Theresa, Empress of Austria: “Furthermore, I am of the opinion that the sexual organs of your Most Sacred Majesty should be titillated for some length of time before coitus.” That same book gives this practical tip for accomplishing same: Make an “artificial elephant trunk” by bringing together the first three fingers of either hand, and stimulate your partner.

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Global Positioning

Sex Tips from Around the World

Foreign Fun and Games Top secrets for undercover spice

t’s been said that sex is like pizza: Even the bad stuff is good. But we prefer this pizza analogy: It’s all in the toppings. Once in a while, you just get the urge for a “supreme.” Here’s what to put on the menu when you’re looking for a little variety. From Canada:

Take Lovemaking to New Heights This 185-foot tower is a monument to a Canadian general, but with its view of the mist from Niagara Falls and the shore of Lake Ontario, Brock’s Monument in Queenston Heights Park in Ontario is also a romantic place for a quickie. The climb to the top is a bit daunting—235 narrow steps up a spiral staircase—but that works to your advantage. Since it’s virtually impossible for people to pass one another on the steps, only one group at a time is generally allowed to the top, which gives you several uninterrupted minutes. Get behind her, so you both can look out on the falls. Listen for the gushing. This site is open from May through September. From England:

Sign Up for the “Mile-High Club” There’s no need to try cramped bathroom sex when you’re flying business class on British Airways. Some planes feature “fully flat bed” seats—which, as promised in the promotional material, will “allow you to get completely horizontal.” The seats are arranged in pairs so one person’s head is at another person’s feet. (Could this get any better?) Eventually, the seats will be available in the entire fleet, but they’re currently only on planes that fly New York routes. Please use the privacy screen. More from England:

Hand Her Your Joystick Women, apparently, love to beat men—at games, that is. A study from the University of Plymouth in England found that when female subjects routinely beat a one-armed bandit (that’s a slot machine, not a euphemism for your 14

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penis), their heart rates increased an average of 10 beats per minute. An even better finding: The women also reported feelings of arousal. But there’s no need to fly her to Vegas just yet; just play a video game—and take a dive. To make sure she wins (so you do later), stick to simple games that are nonviolent, easy to learn, and based on quick reflexes. From Down Under:

Take Your Romps on the Road A recent survey of Novotel hotels found that women in Australia and New Zealand are really enjoying themselves during their travels. They’re making record amounts of noise, watching more in-room porn than ever, and even having sex outside their rooms—especially in spas and stairwells. “Almost all hotels have a certain sexiness to them—a sense of anonymity and anticipation,” says Susan Block, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sex therapist and author. Here’s how to make your next night on the road a night to remember. Take advantage of the perks. Big showers, room service, and housekeeping can all make sex more fun and less work than at home, Dr. Block says. “Feel free to mess up the sheets with more abandon,” she says. “If you have to call housekeeping in the middle of the night, you know you’ve had a good time.” Leave the blinds open. Open the windows, too, if you can. “When you’re at home, you’d rather the neighbors didn’t hear you having sex,” says Dr. Block. “But the people at the hotel are never going to see you again, so live it up! Be loud. Engage in a little mild exhibitionism. The thought that people might be watching or hearing you—even if they’re not—can be very stimulating.” Be as romantic as the New Zealand men. According to the survey, they order more flowers, champagne, and chocolates than the Australian men. There’s a reason hotels have gift shops. Use them. Be smarter than the Australian men, who are more likely to get caught naked outside their rooms. Remember, that door behind you locks automatically. From Switzerland:

Have a Ball Though we can think of several hundred kinky things to do with a calf-raise machine, our vote for most sexual piece of fitness equipment is a large Swiss ball. Why? The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if you’re in the right position. Try this: Sit on the ball and have her straddle you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do one set of at least 50 repetitions.

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Foreign Fun and Games

Sex Tips from Around the World

From India:

Experiment Probably the world’s oldest and most widely read sex book, the Kama Sutra was written sometime around the 5th century by the Indian sage Vatsyayana. Old though it may be, the Kama Sutra is far from dated in much of its material—with a few notable exceptions. One is the advice on how to keep your woman from going astray: Sprinkle a monkey-dung potion on her head. Likely the most famous part of the book is its extensive collection of sexual positions. One of our favorites: A woman lifts her legs up and crosses them while her lover is inside her. It’s known as the tight position. If you and your partner are in a bit of a rut, or if you’re feeling sexually playful, pick up a copy of the book and give things a shot. But hold the monkey dung. From Australia:

Visit Blockbuster Turns out there’s no reason to hide that X-rated rental. She may enjoy watching it just as much as you do, according to one Australian study. Researchers found that men and women had similar physiological responses to watching pornographic videos. One notable exception: When women watched the action, many of them secreted even more adrenaline than men did. (Fast-forward to the bedroom.) “Although some women genuinely find porn offensive, there are a great many who are really turned on by it—but don’t like to admit it,” says Rowan Pelling, editor of The Erotic Review. “The women I’ve spoken to aren’t interested in soft-focus subtle erotica, they want to see explicit sexual images, just as men do.” To ensure your intimate night at the movies will be a blockbuster, not a flop, try these tips. Shop together. Whether you rent from your local adult store or buy from a catalog, don’t let your video shopping be one-sided. “Make your selections together. If you go to a store, you both have a chance to read the box. And most good catalogs will have some description of what you can expect in a video,” says sex expert Anne Semans, author of The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex.

There are a great many women who are really turned on by porn—but don’t like to admit it.

Take it off-screen. Ultimately, treat videos like any other sex toy—a side order to your sex life, not the main course. “What’s best is when a couple starts watching a video and then lets it become part of the background,” says sex educator Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D., author of Generation Sex and How to Love a Nice Guy. Let it serve to spark your interest or give you permission to experiment. “You may want to look over at it once in a while, but the two of you should be into your own thing by then,” she advises. From Italy:

Have Sex with a Stranger While we wholeheartedly endorse Italian women, we can’t endorse paying for sex. But that doesn’t mean you can’t turn your familiar partner into an unfamiliar face. Start simple by asking her to pull her hair back, or to wear a hat. If she’s enjoying herself, try something more adventurous. A wig is the easiest way for her to change her appearance drastically without feeling uncomfortable, says R. J. McCasland, a Hollywood makeup artist. McCasland suggests a jet-black wig with shoulder-length straight hair and short bangs. “The bangs will change the shape of her face, while the black hair will alter her skin tone and coloring,” McCasland says. Role-playing and fantasy can also add to the fun. If you need some ideas, try the ready-made scenarios in the box above. (For more fun, you can mix and match the categories.) From France:

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Percentage of Italian men who have paid for sex at least once in the past year

0.5

Percentage of American men who have paid for sex at least once in the past year

Make Her Hungry for More

A bad boy

A stern headmistress

Your pants around your ankles

The lord of the manor

A French chambermaid

A monocle

Breakfast really is the most important meal of the day—if that day happens to begin with a naked woman sleeping softly on your chest. So if you just spent the last 2 hours (okay, 3 if you were really good) having sex and want more of the same, you’ve got to impress her in the kitchen, too. And how better to do that than by cooking her breakfast in bed? And who better to show you how but the French? Here are quick and easy, guy-friendly recipes for three French five-star breakfasts—quiche, French toast, and crepes—each Your opening line: tweaked to boost sexual “Miss Jones, can you step into my office? I have some dictation for arousal and performance. One look at them and she’ll “Dance for me, my love slave.” (clap twice for effect) swoon; one bite and she’ll “Would you hold my pole for a minute?” sweat. If you really get “Thank you, ma’am, may I have another?” lucky, she’ll do the dishes. Wearing only an apron. “I say, this could use a bit of the old spit and polish!”

A knight n shining armor

The queen

A sword on your belt

“I am called Lancelot. Wouldst thou like to know why?”

A captured spy

An interrogator

A trench coat

“The name is Bondage. James Bondage.”

Choose Your Fantasy . . .

Is your fantasy well dry as a bone? If you need to prime the pump, try these ready-made scenarios. You:

Her:

You wear:

A powerful executive

A new secretary

A power tie and a smile

A sheik

The latest addition to your

A towel on your head

A ski instructor

A snow bunny

Goggles and gloves

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Foreign Fun and Games

Sex Tips from Around the World

Crustless Quiche

French Toast

Don’t ask why you’re standing around in your boxer shorts making quiche; just remember your goal: sex. This quiche is high in protein to help control shbg, a substance that makes it harder for your body to use testosterone and arginine. Arginine is an amino acid that improves the flow of blood to your penis and may also improve sexual stamina for both men and women. Plus, the potatoes and asparagus contain magnesium and potassium to help prevent an ill-timed charley horse from putting a damper on your spring-squeaking fun.

1 tsp olive oil



½ c chopped onion

Remember when your mom used to make French toast on Saturday mornings? Try not to think about it. Instead, think about thiamine and riboflavin. Extra thiamine ensures maximum nerve sensitivity, for maximum pleasure, while riboflavin helps your body use energy more efficiently. At the same time, walnuts provide vitamin B6 to help regulate her levels of prolactin—an evil hormone that reduces sex drive—and to prevent your testosterone levels from dipping too low. Cream cheese is in the mix to give muscles the calcium they need to contract properly. Topping it all off with honey will supply you with the same amount of energy as a sports drink. Think of it as insurance that you’ll make it to the finish line of your morning marathon.

1 c asparagus, chopped



8 oz fat-free cream cheese



½ c orange marmalade



¾ c chopped walnuts



1½ c potatoes, peeled and diced



2 oz shredded light Swiss cheese



1 Tbsp flour



5 eggs (4 whites, 1 whole)



1½ c 2% milk

Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat; add the onions and cook until soft. Boil the asparagus in water for 1 minute, then drain. Cover a 10-inch pie plate with nonstick spray; spread the onions, asparagus, potatoes, and cheese on the bottom. Sprinkle with the flour and stir. Beat the eggs with the milk and add salt and pepper to taste; pour over the asparagus-potato filling. Bake at 325°F for 40 to 45 minutes. Brown the top under the broiler.

Makes 6 servings Per serving: 138 calories, 11 grams (g) protein, 15 g carbohydrates, 4 g fat (27% of calories)



1 loaf white bread, cut in 1-inch-thick slices 1¼ c 2% milk



4 eggs (2 whole, 2 whites)



2 tsp vanilla

Mix the cream cheese, marmalade, and walnuts in a medium bowl and set aside. Trim the crusts from the bread and slit the sides to form pockets. Stuff each slice with 2 Tbsp of the cream cheese filling. Whisk the milk, eggs, and vanilla to form a batter. Spray a medium skillet with nonstick cooking spray. Coat two slices with batter and cook until both sides are golden brown. Repeat with the other slices. Drizzle with honey and serve.

Makes 4 slices Per serving: 342 calories, 15 g protein, 45 g carbohydrates, 11 g fat (29% of calories)

Debunking an Asian Sex Toy Though supposedly handed down to us by the wise keepers of oriental tradition, ben wa balls are great for a gag gift but not much else. This pair of hollow metal balls, neither quite an inch in diameter, have smaller balls inside. A woman is supposed to insert them into her vagina so that when she goes about her daily activities, the inner balls move around inside the hollow outer balls, causing subtle vibrations that will send her into paroxysms of pleasure. Or so we’re told. If some jokester gave you a pair of these balls as an anniversary present, we don’t advise your significant other to insert them anywhere—it’s just too unsanitary. Plus why would you want her receiving pleasure from anything that isn’t attached to you? Our advice is to give them to your cat or dog to play with—or, better yet, back to the jokester on his anniversary

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W O M E N ’ s H E A LT H

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Foreign Fun and Games

Sex Tips from Around the World

Crepes aux Pommes Crepes are more than just a sorry excuse for pancakes. Pronounce it like “grapes” and top ’em with apples. Eating apples can help reduce the arteryclogging cholesterol that can impair bloodflow to your penis and possibly affect her sexual response as well. Apples also contain phenylalanine, an amino acid that increases the production of endorphins—brain chemicals that may fuel sexual arousal. Cinnamon does a similar trick: Researchers at Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation noted increased bloodflow to the genitals of women who got a whiff of the spice. Maybe that’s why Betty Crocker smiles so much.

½ c flour



¾ c 1% milk



2 eggs



3 Tbsp sugar



2 Tbsp butter 1¼ c low-fat cottage cheese



1 tsp vanilla



3 golden delicious apples, peeled and cut into wedges



1½ tsp cinnamon

Blend the flour, milk, eggs, 1½ Tbsp of the sugar, and 1 Tbsp of the butter together and let sit for 30 minutes. Place a skillet coated with nonstick cooking spray over medium heat. Pour 2 Tbsp of the batter into the pan and tilt until the bottom is covered. Cook until the top is set and the underside is golden. Flip the crepe and cook until the bottom is lightly browned. Place the cooked crepe on waxed paper. Cook the remaining batter, stacking the finished crepes on separate pieces of waxed paper. To prepare the filling, combine the cottage cheese, remaining 1½ Tbsp sugar, and vanilla. Divide the filling among the crepes and fold each in half. Melt the remaining butter in the skillet and cook the apples until brown. Top the crepes with apples and sprinkle with cinnamon.

Makes 2 servings (4 crepes each) Per serving: 308 calories, 15 g protein, 41 g carbohydrates, 10 g fat (29% of calories)

201560301

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