Mark Manson - Day Game Model.pdf

The Day Game Model When was learning day game and going out basically seven days a week to practice I kept a journal and everyday after I was done I would write down as much as I could remember about my interactions. Iʼve talked about journals before, I think everyone should keep one because unlike field reports youʼre just writing it for yourself and you can put your ego aside and talk about every interaction, good, or bad. I looked back at all of my day game interactions that ended with a number that didnʼt flake and looked for commonalties between them. I found that basically all of my successful interactions we when I opened direct, transitioned with a cold read, and then cycled qualification and comfort a few times. I turned it into a system and model and gave it to a few friends to field test and they started having successful day game sets. Then I taught it to a few students and they started getting numbers, going on dates, and even laying the girls. I realized I had stumbled onto something. Iʼve finally decided to write it up. Iʼve taught it to enough guys of all different ages and backgrounds to know that it can basically work for anyone. Like everything in the community this is a framework and guideline, itʼs not absolute. Bend the rules and personalize this, everyoneʼs style is a little different and no interaction with another person can be fully broken down into some model. The Opener Like every pickup you have to start with an opener. I really like direct during the day and my model is based around it. People have legitimate time constraints during the day and most of the time people just donʼt have the time to talk to you for 20 minutes. Direct cuts though all the attraction stuff in one sentence and gives you more time to build comfort and qualify the girl.

Direct works off the girlʼs first impression of you. So the better your nonverbals are, body language, eye contact, vocal tonality, and delivery, the better itʼs going to go. Youʼre also going to want to be dressed well, be well groomed, and if youʼre in good shape or good looking itʼs also going to help you… However Iʼm 5′6″, weigh 130lbs, and look like Iʼm 17… Iʼm obviously not relying on my looks to get by. Direct is high risk, high reward. If a girl for one reason or another decides sheʼs not interested in you the set is basically over. No plowing, no negging, leave politely and go open another set. Iʼm not going to go into the nuisances of direct game but Sinn sent out a really great email about direct and the mechanisms that drive it last week. I suggest you guys check it out if you want a complete guide to direct game for both day and night. The specific opener that I use is just a standard direct opener– “Excuse me, I know this is crazy and whatever but I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. Iʼm Doc” Itʼs quick, itʼs polite, and itʼs flattering. The “I know this is kinda crazy/ random” part is actually pretty important. It basically says that you donʼt do this everyday and acknowledges that this is a somewhat strange situation. There are three main responses youʼll get to this– 1. Sheʼll be a little flattered, a little confused, and a little taken aback. Sheʼll basically say to you “ummmm… ok? Iʼm GIRL.” This is the most common reaction youʼll get 2. Boyfriend objection. This is the hardest blowout you should ever get. Either she actually has a boyfriend or sheʼs being polite and asking you to go away. I usually just say “Heʼs a lucky guy. It was nice meeting you.” I wrote a whole post about this a few months back which you can find here. 3. Sheʼll be very flattered and happy. Sheʼll ask you a lot of questions and basically if you donʼt fuck up itʼll end well. The Transition

Youʼve opened her! But now what? I like to follow up my opener with a cold read. Cold reading for all intents and purposes is just guessing something about someone or telling them a truism about themselves. You can use them by making a statement but is actually just a fancy way of asking them a question. The question “How do you like to be fucked?” Becomes “I bet you like to be bent over, fucked doggy, and probably slapped around a bit.” An example of telling someone a truism about themselves is “You know you seem really reserved and shy but I bet when youʼre around someone you trust you have this total wild side.” Thatʼs basically true about anyone, everyone has multiple sides to their personality. They also can act as qualification questions and they test for compliance. In the cold read I use during the day “You know, you have like this west coast vibe.” She can respond with “No, Iʼm from Philly.” or she can say “No, Iʼm actually from Philly but Iʼm here for nursing school at Boston University.” She shows me more interest with the second response. Sheʼs actively trying to create rapport by sharing more about herself. Just to clarify it the cold read I follow up my direct opener with is “You know, you totally have this west coast vibe.” Obviously if youʼre from the west coast use “east coast vibe” or “New York vibe.” Direct Opener- Excuse me, I know this is crazy or whatever but I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you. Iʼm Doc. Transition with Cold Read – You know, you really have this like west coast vibe. The next step is: Fluff Talk After you cold read about where sheʼs from sheʼs going to tell you if youʼre right or where sheʼs actually from.

This is a perfect opportunity to create some rapport and make some small talk. As I said in part one there will be times when the girl will give you more information than you asked for, instead of her just saying “No, Iʼm from Chicago.” Sheʼll say “No, I moved out here from Chicago and go to school at Harvard.” The second response gives you more to work with but letʼs just assume she replied with the first one. PUA: You know you really have like this west coast vibe. Girl: No, Iʼm actually from Chicago PUA: Really? I never would have guessed that. I was actually in Chicago a few months ago. My friend Dave lives in Wicker Park and we went to this really cool club one night. I think it was called The Apartment. Girl: Yeah I know The Apartment! PUA: Yeah it was really crazy they have like a shower and bathtub upstairs. What are you in Boston for? Girl: Blah Blah Blah If have any sort of life youʼve probably traveled a bit or at least know something about major US cities that you can talk about. And if you donʼt you can always just say “You know Iʼve never been to Chicago. Do you like it?” Every now and then youʼll get thrown a curve ball like “Iʼm from Wisconsin.” Well Iʼve never been there and donʼt know anyone from there so Iʼll say something like, “Really? I think youʼre the first person Iʼve ever met from Wisconsin.” Youʼre not trying to do anything fancy here. Youʼre just trying to establish some rapport and get her used to talking to you. Entropy and I really believe that guys need to learn basic conversation skills before trying to learn to pick up girls. Entropy covers this topic very thoroughly in his ebook. Qualification Question Although I said that your cold read will at times act as qualification, most of the time youʼll need to find out more about the girl. And like I said in the beginning of part one, all I do in day game is cycle qualification and comfort a few times.

A whole book could be written on qualification, and probably has, but Iʼm just going to give you guys the basics. A qualification question/statement is a question that you ask to elicit a response from a woman thatʼll tell you something about them. You then reward her response to your question by qualifying her on it. The qualification question that I usually use at this point in the interaction is “So what do you do when youʼre not ____.” The “____” is what she was doing before you opened her. So if you meet her in a bookstore itʼs “So what do you do when youʼre not shopping for books?” The funniest example of this I ever had was when I opened a girl in the addiction and recovery section of a bookstore. I was like “So what do you do when youʼre not…” and as I trailed off she looked up, saw what section she was in, and took about 5 steps back so that she was in the self help section. We both laughed about it. Sometimes the girl will give you a kinda blow off answer like “I work” or “I hangout with friends.” If they do this I like to tease them a little by saying something like “Wow! You have friends too! This is so amazing.” Itʼs really all about the tonality of how you say it. You donʼt want to sound like a dick, you should be smiling and she should be able to detect your sarcasm. If she tells you anything like “I just finished med school and Iʼm doing my residency right now.” You should reward her with something like “Wow thatʼs great! I think itʼs awesome when people have jobs that help others. Have you always wanted to be a doctor?” If you notice at the end I ask another question to make our interaction even deeper and find out more about her. Another great technique is to relate some part of your life to what she does. With the girl who wants to be a doctor I could talk about how my brother is a doctor and tell a random story about me and him growing up. Grounding Story Up until this point in the interaction the majority of what has been talked about is her and her life with little stories about you thrown in here and there. This is the point where you really share yourself with her.

Basically your grounding story is a story about you that both builds comfort and attraction at the same time. For day game I like to have the story focus on what you do and WHY you do it. Hereʼs an example what I usually say– “Yeah, like, for, me I work in film. And itʼs really cool because like always growing up I was just fascinated with movies. As a little kid Iʼd literally just sit in front of the TV and watch the same movies over and over again. Just looking at the different cuts and camera angles… Yeah Iʼm totally a movie nerd. So fair warning.” The most important part of the story is that I love what Iʼm doing with my life. Iʼm doing what Iʼm passionate about. Now not everyone love what they do for a living but everyone should have a hobby that they love. If this is the case use your hobby. “Yeah, like, for, me I work as an accountant. And itʼs cool and whatever. But I really love playing basketball. My mom said that basically as soon as I could walk Iʼd try to play basketball with my older brother and his friends. And itʼs really cool, now because I coach some kids on the weekends.” … I actually like that story more than mine. Thereʼs not much too it but be prepared for women to ask you questions about the stuff you just mentioned. More Qualification Outside of the number close this is the last step and about half of the time you wonʼt even need it. Hence the * I usually only add this last bit of qualification if the girl didnʼt give me much with the cold read and my other qualification question. The great thing is that now that youʼve opened up to her with youʼre grounding story sheʼs much more likely to share herself with you. Iʼll usually phrase this step like this–

“So yeah, obviously you hang with friends or whatever but like seriously what do you like to do?” And it works the same way as the first qualification question. Sheʼll answer, you reward her for it, and follow it up with another question about what she does or relate it to your life. Number Close I first heard this number close from Sinn. Itʼs simple, it leads, and itʼs not too forward. Itʼs the best number close Iʼve ever tried and Iʼve stopped using anything else. “Well I gotta go meet some friends but you seem really cool. Letʼs exchange numbers and maybe weʼll grab coffee or something.” If she says no, it means no. Donʼt try to plow or anything… unless you enjoy flaky numbers. And thatʼs it. The entire interaction should last anywhere from 5 – 15 minutes and the numbers you get should be fairly solid. An Example Direct Opener – “Excuse me, I know this is like totally crazy but I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. Iʼm Doc.” Transition With a Cold Read – “You know, you really have this west coast vibe.” Fluff Talk – Make small talk about where sheʼs from Qualification Question – “What do you do when youʼre not HERE?” Grounding Story – A comfort story that DHVs you. Should be about what you do and WHY you do it. Second Qualification Question* – “So like what do you really like to do, like what are you passionate about.”

Number Close – “I gotta get going but you seem cool. We should exchange numbers and maybe weʼll grab a coffee sometime or whatever.” This is the transcript of a set I recorded like six months ago that I found on my old computer. PUA: Hey, I know this is random but I thought you were cute and wanted to come meet you. Iʼm Day Game PUA Girl: Hi, Iʼm Girl PUA: You know, you really have like this West Coast vibe Girl: Really? Why? PUA: Just like your style and the way you carry yourself. You donʼt seem like youʼre from here. Girl: Yeah I just moved here for school. PUA: Oh awesome. Where are you from? Girl: I grew up in New Jersey. PUA: Well Iʼm sorry to hear that… Girl: Hey! New Jersey isnʼt bad. PUA: Yeah, My New Haircut just gives you guys a bad rep. What kind of art do you make? (She had black shit on hands from a grease pencil) Girl: I mostly paint but how did you know that? PUA: The grease pencil on your hands. I used to draw a lot. Girl: Yeah, Iʼm at Mass Art and since itʼs my first year I have to sort of try everything. Are you in school? PUA: No. I work for a filmmaker. Girl: Oh, wow, thatʼs awesome. What do you like do for him? PUA: Mostly post production stuff. Itʼs actually really kinda like a dream job because Iʼve just always loved movies so much. Like when I was a kid Iʼd draw pictures and tape them to my TV and make my mom and her girlfriend watch “my movies.” Girl: Thatʼs cool. PUA: Yeah. Have you always been into art? Girl: Pretty much, for as long as I can remember I was painting anywhere I could. PUA: Thatʼs awesome… Girl: Yeah… PUA: You know I actually gotta meet some friends soon but you seem cool. we should exchange numbers and if we like each other on the phone

maybe weʼll hangout sometime. Girl: Sure. If you look at the flow of the conversation it looks like just a friendly normal conversation but if you really pay attention to it you can see how itʼs basically just cycles of qualification and comfort. Girls Who Are Moving Outside of whether to open direct or indirect during the day I get the most questions about moving sets during the day. Here are my thoughts on day game moving sets. If theyʼre walking towards you, just gently step in front of them and start talking when theyʼre a good 5-7 feet away from you so that theyʼll have time to stop. You donʼt want to feel like youʼre cutting them off, so you want to give them enough space so that they can stop themselves to speak to you. If theyʼre walking in the same direction as you itʼs common sense that you can just start a conversation as you walk because youʼre walking the same way. A lot of the time the women have a legitimate time constraint. I always like to just go for the number close right away even if Iʼve only talked to her for 30 seconds, itʼs not the most effective method but if sheʼs in a rush then sheʼs in a rush and you can say you gave it your best shot. If she isnʼt pressed for time than I like to go for the instant date by around the five minute mark. A lot of the time Iʼll call attention to how awkward it is standing in the middle of the street and try to bounce for coffee. Overall moving sets are probably the hardest sets to open during the day and I tell guys to get decent with stationary sets in bookstores and coffee shops before trying to do moving sets.