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Manifesting Money and Much More
Manifesting Money And
Much More By Gerri Ratigan 1 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
This book is dedicated to problems, issues, people who’ve driven me crazy and mostly to my own fear. Without them how could I have gotten this far? I look forward to letting you go with love………..
2 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
Who is Gerri Ratigan? Gerri is a life coach, speaker, writer, creator of the Manifestation Project and spiritual seeker. Gerri has helped hundreds of people create great lives, improve their relationship with money and learn to deliberately attract the life that is right for them. You can learn more at www.manifestationproject.com.
3 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
Forward I am delighted to introduce Gerri Ratigan´s new book, because I believe you´ll find that her personal point of view and authentic voice makes real some principles that can all too easily be abstract. Follow her ideas and example - and like her, you can embark on an adventure that brings you results that your heart wants and that gives you far more than you may have expected. Don´t miss her insights into the kind of universe we live in - friendly, and helpful -- and very, very responsive. For many of us - confirmation that this is so...in a world that is full of too much strife and difficulty -- can be one of the best insights you receive. Gerri provides many kinds of support, to help make it easier for you to experience the reality and benefits of what she shares with us. This book provides one kind of support I encourage you to watch for what else she offers, from time to time - so you can experience and have more and more kinds of practical support. Some of which will be just right for you. -David Burnet
4 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
Special thanks go to: My sons, Nick and Lee, who give me a great come back when people ask how I can stand teenagers, “Ah, but my kids are wonderful!” You both make me proud, you make me laugh and you remind me of how incredibly successful I am. If all else were to fail in my life, I would still die an extremely successful woman because I was able to support you both in becoming the amazing young men I see unfolding before my eyes. My great coach, David Burnet, who’s stuck with me through an incredible roller coaster ride for the last two years of my transitioning life. Thanks for being there through all this messy adjustment I’ve been through, coming back when I needed you and being a rock when I’ve been a mess. My wonderful friends, Lin Murphy, Andrea Mincsak, Clare Mertz, Barry Levine, Sue Schell, Margo Mastromarchi, Michelle Marks, Gretchen Sunderland, Athena Burke, Alex Stier, Bill Blatter, Shara DiSarro, Sue Holdren, Don Warren, Teresa Scicchitano-deWall, Rod and Debbie Aldrich, Penny Hill, Randall Hogue, Merci Miglino, Paul Noonan, Joan Oliver, Marcy Perlmutter, Cheryl Richardson, Paula Scardamalia, Stephanie Sicko, Margaret Weinland, the powerful coaching of Drew Rozell, my coach Shale Paul who passed away in 2000, but continues to guide me, the memory of my dad, my sister Kelley, her husband Chuck, and their daughters Shannon and Ericka, my brothers Bob and Jeff, my mother, my sons’ friends who keep me laughing and happy to have you hang out in the basement creating music, Edith Simpson, Lynn Neal, Dennis Keefrider, the people in the chatroom at Cupid.com, all my clients past and present and members of the Manifestation Project. My coach at Prosper Learning, Dang Ing and pinch hitter, Gil McIff, Sean and Marco of Mudfunk for making this enthusiastic fan feel welcome when I go out to see you, and Brian Edgerton. But mostly, thank you to this amazing journey called life and the constant lessons I’ve learned about how to live abundantly. Thank you, thank you…
5 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
CONTENTS Chapter 1 - Introduction – Basic Truths - Money and the Law of Attraction - a Personal Note…………………………9
Chapter 2 - One Personal Experience……………….12 Chapter 3 - The Law of Attraction – The Law of Attraction - Abundance Adrenaline - Think, Believe, Feel - Vibration, Energy, Emotion – The Four Steps to Manifesting – At the Market – Focus and Knowingness – Affirmations – Faith and Gratitude……………………………………………………...14
Chapter 4 - Attracting Money – Three Spiritual Approaches to Money – Joy………………………………………………..22
Chapter 5 - Thoughts Fuel our Power to Create – A Light Bulb Goes on – The Spotlight Shines Brighter – The Objective Awareness Game – An Expanded Version of a Biblical 6 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
Quote or What it Really Means – More Games – Grooves in the Road…………………………………………………………..24
Chapter 6 - Words – Two Word Exercises – Let Yourself Be Light – Heavy Words – Awareness of Words – Truth Spoken – The Energy of Words – Childcare Fiasco – The Power of Journaling – the Sound of Ahh and Selling the House………..30
Chapter 7 - Belief – Self-Esteem – The Wave-Maker Machine – Our Deepest Beliefs – Belief Shifters……………………….37
Chapter 8 - Emotion – The Shudder of Poured Drinks – Cosmic Roll of the Dice – Light and Love for Your Unique Life – Wounded Child to Accomplished Adult – Friends to Remind Us – Addiction to Negative Emotions, Ego and the Drama Queen – Be Success – Negative Emotions vs. Painful Emotions – How to Feel Better……………………………………………44
Chapter 9 - Feelings – A Newly Inspired Approach to Meeting Men – Inspiration to Help Mom – A Horrible Day Transformed………………………………………………….54
Chapter 10 - Actions…………………………………….58 Chapter 11 - Emotional Money History – Broken Jar Meant More – She Personalized Money……………………..60
Chapter 12 - Knowingness – Profound Knowing………63 Chapter 13 - My Story.......................................................65 Chapter 14 - Exercises to Strengthen Knowingness...69 7 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
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Money Section: ARTICLES, QUESTIONS TO JOURNAL AND PONDER AND PROSPERITY READINESS TEST® -…………………………………70 Manifestation and Spirituality Section: INCLUDES ARTICLES, MANIFESTATION RATING TEST®, AND MEDITATION - ………………..80 Personal Foundation and Self-Care: INCLUDES ARTICLES, WORKSHEETS: REWRITING YOUR SCRIPT, BOUNDARIES, TOLERATIONS…..89 Success Section: - INCLUDES ARTICLES, HOWS YOUR SUCCESS COMMUNITY TEST, MEDITATION TO BREAK ADDICTION TO FAILURE…….97 Miscellaneous Section: - INCLUDES ARTICLES ON PARENTING AND FOR TEENAGERS………………………………………………….106
Quotes…………………………………………………………110 Suggested Readings………………………………………...112
8 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
THE DIVINITY OF MONEY Chapter One Introduction You can attract great wealth by doing what you love. This book will show you how. Your money experience is a reflection of your beliefs about your value in the world. Your experience of wealth tells volumes about how you see yourself. So doesn’t it make sense to learn different beliefs? Perhaps you too have fallen into the trap of believing that doing more of what you don’t like will bring you what you desire. I invite you to suspend that belief and consider being open to the possibility that there’s a better way. What if I could convince you that the hard work philosophy is a lie? Would you like to sidestep the ulcers, dyspepsia, heart disease, broken relationships and other stress induced problems? You can! The Universe wants you to have fun, to play, to enjoy abundance, happiness and love. I will show you how! Basic Truths The following principles will be examined using personal experience and exercises: ! Positive energy = Attracts positive money experiences ! Negative energy = Less life and enjoyment of money ! It’s all about you ! What you focus on gains life ! What you resist persists The exact meaning of these will be woven throughout the book. By the time you are done reading you will have learned a number of approaches to manifesting the abundance you wish to have in your life. Money and the Law of Attraction Money has been called “congealed energy”. It is a means of exchange that flows from one to another. By holding it too tightly out of fear or ignoring its lessons, we cheat ourselves of its gift – which is to enrich our lives. Unfortunately, for too many it becomes 9 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
Manifesting Money and Much More
the primary focus and leads away from true prosperity. Many people forget to enjoy loved ones and the wonders of this world and instead focus on the pursuit of money. Still others allow money to become a source of constant worry and keep them from enjoying the perfection of the present moment. They forget to be grateful for all they have out of fear of some future scarcity. Ideally, money should flow out of generosity and love to ourselves and others. It is our servant in achieving our Vision in life. This book is meant as an introduction to the Law of Attraction, vibration and spirituality and how they work with money. There’s been much written about these topics, yet much more needs to be explored so we may learn to more effectively apply it in our lives. These are new and exciting areas, and yet this material has been around for centuries. We are learning how to channel source more effectively, and it takes some getting used to. Adapting ourselves requires adjustment emotionally, mentally, and physically. It’s going to be a stretch to live joyfully. But, of course, you’ll love the results! In particular, I will address the thorny subject of money and how it relates to Spirituality or the Law of Attraction. In brief, spirituality is not the same as religion, though all great religions include spirituality. I consider Spirituality to be about having a direct experience with God, All that Is, Source, or the Universe. Spirituality is the extent to which one follows his or her own inner guidance which is God’s way of communicating with us. It’s not only about having this direct experience and listening to our inner guidance. Spirituality is also about working at building a higher vibration and holding a knowingness or faith that things will work out as they should. Faith is having a knowingness even when evidence is contradictory. I will write about thoughts, words, actions and emotions among other things in detail simply to offer some easy awareness for you. However, don’t feel it’s a rigid system you must follow in order to achieve nirvana. The idea is to inspire and give you some tools that will increase and hold you in a high vibration. Apply them where it feels in alignment with your joy. Some things in this writing may work to your advantage and offer you help you can incorporate without struggle. Go with those. Leave the struggle alone. You can read this again and find you are ready for more. Again, go with what is easy and makes you feel good. You’ll also find a number of articles, questions to ponder and exercises in Chapter 14. These are offered as a bonus I hope you’ll take advantage of. I suggest you work with the exercises that resonate with you. Many people experience poverty while having an abundance of wealth. This book focuses more on satisfaction and fulfillment with life and one’s financial situation than merely the acquisition of more. A Personal Note There are some great sources out there to learn about the Law of Attraction and Money. I’ve included a reference guide at the end. What I’ve tried to do here is give my own story and struggles while incorporating the Law in Attraction in my own life. The concepts are wonderful and beautiful, yet the real world presents challenges to 10 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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implementing these ideals. Let me reframe that – the ego presents challenges! My hope is that my story will inspire you to live the Law of Attraction more fully. I have been fortunate to have had some wonderful training and to have worked with some very powerful coaches who’ve taught me much about these subjects. I have to confess that I have not read volumes of information on these subjects. Rather, I’ve worked diligently to apply these spiritual principles in my life. I believe growth is about the application, not about acquiring more knowledge. Of course, knowledge is great stuff, but a shift in feeling is the true goal. This is a compilation of material I’ve taught for at least 5 years now. I started researching this for personal reasons. Frankly, money has been a difficult topic for me throughout my life. I still have work to do on it, but the improvements I’ve experienced have been powerful. This material works. As you take advantage of the exercises and allow the lessons to open your heart, money will enter your life more easily. Just as a caution though, this is not really about working hard so that you’ll earn more, though you’ll find more money coming to you. This book is more about allowing wealth consciousness to be in your life now. You’ll see later in this book that you can enjoy doing what you love, that the Universe will provide for you and that you can also live abundantly and well for doing it. As a matter of fact, following your joy is the only true abundance there is. I’ve also been taught some powerful exercises to focus more effectively on what I want and sidestep resistance. I am excited to share this information with you. I promise that by reading and applying the material here, your path will be eased, your ability to create what you desire will be made simpler, and you will enjoy more fulfillment in life.
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Chapter Two One Personal Experience Once I was in a marriage based in large part on what we lacked in terms of money and other things. We shared a strong negative bond about money. Our shared belief that others had more than us kept us stuck in a cycle of lack. We reinforced the idea for each other that if we worked really, really hard at things we didn’t like that we might eventually earn enough to live a more abundant life and perhaps see a path to some savings. Most – oh wait, let me correct that – ALL of our interaction about money was about how much we didn’t have and how difficult things were. It got so bad that I remember my ex-husband once complaining about my wasting a bar of soap to clean some paint brushes – a bar of soap! What’s interesting about this is we were never ever in a true financial crisis. We always had enough to eat and a roof over our heads. Sadly, we could have also had more joy and laughter if we’d allowed it into our hearts. Now even though we lived out of fear of not having enough (and you’ll see soon enough why this is such a poverty inducing attitude), we did set a priority to put our children first. Going against the norm which stated that every family must have 2 full time incomes, we’d agreed that I should stay home to raise our sons. If I could do it again, I would have approached this choice with spiritual strength and the knowingness I will write about here. However, these mistakes were just part of the process for me, so in that regard they were exactly what I needed to experience. Although I am very grateful for our two very well adjusted young men, we suffered the continuous self-questioning that can accompany making a choice that’s counter to popularly held beliefs and practices. We were under the widely held delusion that there is only a limited amount of abundance to go around and that by choosing to spend time doing what we loved, we were doomed to suffer financially. Of course, now I realize that that is bunk, but at the time this delusion caused us a considerable amount of pain. I remember one particularly painful episode about money in which my ex-husband and I were lamenting about how little we had. It’s curious that it led me to cleaning my house more furiously. Somehow I thought that I could fix things by doing more. I realize that some of you may think that my reaction was silly, but believe me its common. I subconsciously believed that more non-productive work would alleviate our financial constraints. Perhaps you’ll argue that working harder is effective at bringing more money on the job, but that is a myth that harms people. Struggle and work do not bring money – even when we think it does. What you’ll learn through reading this is to harness inspiration. Inspired action will create prosperity and the life of your dreams. Uninspired work only leads to stress and back problems. Looking back I see that it was the mentality we held, and not our choice to focus on our children, that created the financial scarcity we experienced. I was always second 12 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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guessing myself, feeling jealous of what others had and thinking that perhaps I should have done this or that differently or somehow I could fix it or make it better – if only. Let’s move forward to shift your perspective before you suffer one more moment of struggle! By using the techniques here you can.
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Manifesting Money and Much More
Chapter Three The Law of Attraction When I was in college I remember making a casual comment to a very practical and cynical friend that when I knew I could afford something, I would find a way. Looking back I realize that was a huge mistake because he responded by shooting down that theory. And being so wobbly in my belief system, I allowed his doubt to pierce my faith. Now I wish I had had the guts to maintain my own conviction because I was on to something important. So one aspect of being able to manifest is to go against the crowd and follow your own intuition. It took me many years to get that. I hope you get it more quickly than I. The Law of Attraction The Law of Attraction has been taught by spiritual teachers for centuries and states that like attracts like. What you know, expect and believe in your heart becomes the truth for you. Have you ever had the experience of finding the money for something simply because it was important? At one moment, you could not fathom having enough to pay your basic bills and then something occurred that made you have the money. For example, people donated much more money than they ever imagined they could afford after the events of September 11. Similarly, most of us find the resources for emergencies like traveling to see a dying relative or to help a loved one in crisis. Because the crisis forces us to see beyond our own habitual limits, the money is found. Abundance Adrenaline Everyone has heard about the phenomenon caused by being thrown into an emergency without time to think. There are plenty of stories like the tiny woman who finds the strength to lift a car off her child. Well, we have all experienced abundance adrenaline. We temporarily forget our limiting beliefs and become mighty in our ability to attract abundance. What if we could access the power to manifest abundance more effectively or without having to wait for an emergency or horrible tragedy like September 11? The power to deliberately create as opposed to reacting to crisis is within us all. Abundance adrenaline illustrates the point perfectly. Unfortunately, we just tend to go back to our limiting habits and belief systems and settle for what our history tells us is our reality. But that does not need to be your reality. You have the power to choose.
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Think Believe, Feel One great way to choose is to learn how the rich think. Surely you have heard that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer! Well rich people are thinking rich thoughts and know how to be rich and poor people are thinking poor thoughts and know how to be poor. I am not saying we should look down on anyone for having had some difficult circumstances. It is true that our system provides an unfair distribution of advantages. Yet at the same time, there is enough wealth in this world for everyone to live opulently. This is a paradox, I admit. But the Universe is reflecting our beliefs on a systems level as well as individually. So while those born into wealth have the advantage of having learned how to be rich, those of us born into the middle classes or poverty have the advantage of knowing what it feels like to lack. This may not sound like an advantage, but it is actually is. How else can one know true happiness without having known its opposite? How else can one know what wealth truly is without having gone without? So not only is this an advantage in that it helps those who succeed from nothing appreciate their success, but it offers even more. Without the impetus to move out of a mediocre financial situation one may never learn to appreciate its opposite and fully embrace fulfillment. In order to manifest wealth, one must learn how to feel fulfilled first. Feeling is one of the steps to manifesting you will learn about later in this chapter and in the chapter on Techniques for Shifting. I am guessing you’d not only like to be wealthy, but along with that, feel the fulfillment that goes along with knowing all is right with the world. You will learn to have them both. Makes you feel a little sad for those who are born wealthy then right? (Ok, perhaps that’s a bit of a stretch for you, but stay with me!) Yet it is true that many of us have a more difficult time manifesting wealth due to our conditioning. But by now you are starting to realize that this is not the end of the story. The good news is that our wealth is ultimately not about external circumstance, it’s a reflection of internal programming. And, this programming can be changed! Vibration, Energy, Emotion When I was younger, I reacted the way many of us do to the perceived unfairness of our system. I felt this was a sign of our unjust establishment, and expended a bunch of angry, negative energy railing against the injustice. At other times I beat myself up for not doing enough or not being valuable enough to make the money I wanted. I even compared myself to others I perceived as having more and diminished my own value. Shame and blame like I experienced are of a low energy or vibration. They are an emotional frequency. These lower frequencies generate little power to attract good things, and in fact only attract more of the same low energies. Neither of those energy levels worked very well as I just stayed stuck in financial mediocrity.
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Later, working in human services, I projected the energy of a martyr believing my sacrifice was what was needed in the world. By accepting less, I would somehow allow others to have more. Of course, what I got was less. Fortunately, books and teachers appeared to help me reshape my experience! Now I know enough to choose something other than blame or personal shame. Through my study, I’ve learned to be much more deliberate about my energy. If I can manifest wealth with the background I had, you can too! I’ve learned that the Universe is infinitely abundant and expansive and wants us all to accept light and wealth. That is our work. Our own joy and abundance is how we heal others. I will be using energy, vibration and emotion somewhat interchangeably here. Place high importance on these. Energy, vibration and emotion are your power to create. They are the most valuable resources you have available to you. No matter where you are in your life, you have the power to draw all you desire to you. I have had the privilege of working with a number of people in my coaching practice who’ve had almost instantaneous results by becoming aware of a vibration they’ve had about energy and deliberately changing it. Some doubled their incomes almost immediately. Learn to vibrate in alignment with your desires like they did and you become the creator of your life. The Law of Attraction teaches that everything comes down to the beliefs we hold and the knowingness we have about our state of affairs. Since money is such a charged issue, the attraction laws work even more strongly as we’re sending out such charged positive or negative energy about it. The things we put our attention on become reality. Most people habitually react unconsciously to what’s going around them. Therefore, they keep putting focus on unwanted events or things over and over again. Because what you focus on becomes your reality, you keep repeating the same things in your life and most likely are wondering why you’re having such bad luck. But it’s not luck at all, its ignorance and poor use of the power you have within you to create exactly the life you want. You can learn to stop perpetuating the same states over and over again. No matter where you are or what your current situation, you can create a great life using the Laws of Attraction.
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The Four Steps to Manifesting In my coaching work with individuals and in my program, the Manifestation Project, I have created 4 steps to help people remember how to work with their internal power to access the Law of Attraction more easily. These are: Step 1: Recognize, accept and be with what is not working By learning to observe ourselves and our lives without judgment we set the stage for the kind of personal development that enables us to live brilliantly, blissfully and in alignment with our deepest desires. We can build the capacity to attract all we desire by using current circumstances to learn to vibrate more effectively. Unfortunately, most of us have a habit of blaming external factors for what is happening in our lives. For example, we blame the economy for our sense of lack or the weather for not feeling sunny inside. Instead, I suggest you accept what you have created with an attitude of detachment. As a participant in the creation of your world, learn to send out different energy that will create an experience more to your liking. Step 2: Learn from it Everything happens as a result of our beliefs. We constantly send messages to the Universe regarding who we really are and what circumstances we have grown the capacity to handle. What you are seeing in everyone and everything around you is a mirror of your internal beliefs about your reality. That person or situation that annoys you so much is telling you something about you. Again, remove the blame here. Practice detached observation and take advantage of this opportunity to learn how to vibrate differently. Step 3: Feel, know, be what you wish to manifest Learn to reach for the best feeling possible. Feeling is vibration. By becoming aware and taking responsibility for our vibration, we can learn to more deliberately align ourselves with our highest selves and create exactly what we want. Vibration is your power to attract. Vibration is the feeling you send out. Vibration is emotion. We can learn to feel differently and thus draw what we wish to us. Knowing and being is your faith. Move forward expecting what it is you desire. Be that. Know. Radiate a state of wealth consciousness from every cell in your body. When you see things that appear to be contradictory to what you are working at manifesting, continue to know. What you are seeing are signs, and the things you must address in order to grow into the person who can be what it is you wish to be. Step 4: Accept and play with what shows up This world is a gigantic playground for us to grow and explore. Lighten up and have fun with all this. There’s some idea out there that spiritual growth has to be serious, boring and regimented. This world is filled with wonderful things to enjoy. Take advantage of them, play, explore. We are constantly being shown reflections of what we send out to the Universe. The lessons are always there for you. When you can accept them in a playful manner, the work becomes a joyful adventure. When something shows up in 17 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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your experience, see it as fuel to build your capacity to deliberately create. Have fun with this. Ask yourself what vibration you were sending out that caused this particular thing to happen in your life. Laugh about it! Be loving toward yourself and make adjustments in your approach without judgment. The Universe has a great sense of humor. At the Market I am reminded of the Universe’s humor by the following experience: One day while driving to the market, I said a silent prayer for help with my tendency to become impatient. Impatience is really a lack of faith, so being a person committed to living faith, I really wanted to handle this. When I arrived at the market, I picked up my few items and got in line in the express lane. The woman in front of me obviously had more items than the limit, and as if that wasn’t enough, she questioned every price and took her time paying and seemed to be doing everything possible to drag this entire transaction out. I felt myself becoming more and more impatient. Looking around for other check outs that might be available, I was feeling angrier and angrier. It seemed this woman was there deliberately to annoy me! Then the woman looked at me in a knowing way and apologized for the delay. In retrospect, something about her look made me realize what was going on. Within minutes, I remembered my prayer and had to laugh. I had asked for help with my impatience. What better way to improve my patience than to give me one of the most challenging situations I could imagine to build my patience! I took a deep breath and gave thanks for this answer to my prayer. Focus and Knowingness Know that the Universe wants you to have all you desire. What you want, wants you. When you are ready, it will appear. Many people will debunk this concept that focus becomes reality. Because they have expended so much energy wanting more and not getting results, they believe focus is not a worthwhile emphasis. I can certainly relate to this as I’ve spent a lot of time wanting money myself. But let’s look a little more closely at this. What is the real belief you are generating with wanting? Do you actually feel that you have it? Or is the belief more a focus on what you don’t have? How much of your energy is tied up in a holding pattern of reacting to what is not going well, focusing on that and then getting more of it? Most people have at least one area in their lives where this happens. Remember your world is a mirror of the vibration you are sending out. So you are getting exactly what you believe. Generally, most of us keep on getting more of what we don’t have because our focus is on the lack or simply on the repeated results they keep getting. Shift to knowing that abundance is there for you now. Know it. Feel it. This world is a gigantic field of possibility. Be grateful! Everything you want is right here now. One way to stay in a high vibration about something that is not currently manifesting is to be in the now. In this moment nothing is really wrong, is it? Isn’t everything that’s supposedly wrong really about projecting about the past or worrying about the future? 18 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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And, this is not about denial either. I am not suggesting that you temporarily medicate yourself by buying things you don’t need or can’t afford. I am, instead advocating gratitude acceptance of what is and the faith that you will create what you desire including a positive cash flow. Take a deep breath, appreciate and enjoy this moment and know that the Universe will lead you to exactly where you need to be. There are always many things to be grateful for now. Practice gratitude for what is going well. Be in gratitude for what is not working as well. Perhaps that sounds contradictory, but everything that’s occurring in your life is there to teach you something. Your task is to welcome life as it is while maintaining detachment knowing that things will manifest as they should. Detachment is letting go. This means you have faith and trust that the Universe will handle things. At the present moment, you don’t need these things you desire because everything is working perfectly. You never need these things because in this moment everything is handled. You know they will appear when necessary. You know the Universe will bring what’s perfect. Know that you have all you desire. You do. The Universe sends you what you believe. I admit it can feel like a dilemma to know that something is there when its not. At times it can seem like a cruel paradox to be required to know in your heart that you have it all when in the throws of not having it all. But this is precisely where our power to manifest is. Knowing comes first. Knowing comes before having. Doing is not necessary except from inspiration. Our strength lies in our faith, our being, knowing, feeling and the expectation that we will learn all we need to create our world. When we forget that, we get into the realm of magic or looking outside ourselves to be saved. This distinction between magic and my own power was made clearer to me through doing affirmations. Affirmations Affirmations are a popular exercise taught by many great spiritual teachers. Perhaps you are familiar with them. The idea is to write positive present tense statements about what you wish to have. Affirmations build one’s belief and are a very good practice when done to build spiritual power. But they can also keep one stuck in a negative pattern when the affirmation is not matched with belief. For years I worked with affirmations and wrote “I am a millionaire, I am a millionaire”, over and over again. Well, it wasn’t working for me! It actually led to my feeling like I was a loser as it seemed that everyone else was getting results! When I finally put the affirmation work up against the concept that the vibration or feeling is the true power, I realized my true vibration was not that I was a millionaire. I was actually feeling quite differently. I was only emphasizing that I was not anywhere near being a millionaire. If I didn’t have the feeling someplace inside me that could connect with that thought and have a belief in the truth of it, I would only set myself up for continued failure. In truth, 19 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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every affirmation I wrote while feeling like it wasn’t going to work, just kept me away from my goal. It became clear that I needed a foundation to grow a true belief in this. You see, it’s pretty much impossible to go from scarcity thinking to wealth consciousness in one jump. I’m not saying it’s completely impossible, but my point is that I needed to honor how I was feeling and work with that. Affirmations are done to build spiritual strength or faith. As we build spiritual strength we increase our capacity to turn on good feelings more easily. And, good feelings are the stuff that attract. By the way, it’s a great idea to eventually build up to feeling and radiating the vibration of peace as often as possible. Peace is the highest vibration. However, one must walk before running. To jump to peace requires a bridge. For most people, building capacity for wealth consciousness comes a little at a time. Peace about money is a high ideal for many that requires a huge foundation. But you can begin now to take the steps to get there. And along the way you’ll enjoy great results. So instead of an affirmation I could not match vibrationally, I found one I could. I started writing, “I generate all the business I need.”, “I generate all the business I need.” That felt right to me and like something I could attain. Faith and Gratitude The Law of Attraction is working all the time. You get what you are, what you vibrate, what you know in your heart to be true. That’s why so many of us keep getting the same stuff over and over. We react to current circumstances and think that’s what we have to accept. Yet we can learn to deliberately create through the Law of Attraction – being, knowing, feeling, and expecting is our power. One simple way to shift into attracting more great stuff into your life and ramping up the power of being, knowing, feeling and expecting is through gratitude. Appreciate the breath that fills your lungs, the food on your table, everything around you, people and situations. Even when they are not to your liking they are your creations and have much to teach you. Look at these wonderful things and be in awe of them. No matter how much you've messed up in your life, the Universe is always inviting you to participate as a co-creator. We are Gods and Goddesses. Will you join this new way of being? The best way I can describe it is to have faith. I am not talking about external faith in a doctrine. This is faith in the heart – the feeling! The following quote from Abraham Hicks “Ask and It Is Given” says it best. “When there is something that you desire and it has not yet manifested, and you cannot yet see the path through which it will manifest, and you are discouraged, then you are forgetting that you are an Eternal Being and that you never get it done. But when there is a new, unfulfilled desire, and instead of torturing you with its absence, instead it calls you with its idea—then you are Source Energy, physically embodied, and right on track. 20 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Law of Attraction says, that which is like unto itself is drawn. So, if you stand in an awareness that you don’t have enough money, and you talk about it and you feel around it, and you perpetuate a continuing vibration of not enough money, even though you’re asking for more, and even though you may be offering action which should accommodate more—more cannot come because it is vibrationally different from the vibration that you are usually offering. And so, an attitude of satisfaction about what is, an attitude of making the best of what is while you are eagerly anticipating an evolution of what is- - that’s the perfect vibrational stance.” -Abraham Hicks (quote used with permission)
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Chapter Four Attracting Money For many people, money is a difficult thing to manifest because it comes with so much baggage. Money is a highly emotional, socially challenging, self-esteem laden and guilt inducing issue. We learn attitudes from our family of origin and from society in general. We crawl into self-imposed corners, create walls, drag our feet and procrastinate when confronted with opportunities to make more. We fall into despair, limit ourselves, brag or become bullies over it. Indeed, it appears that our quality of life and death depend upon money. However, our experience of wealth is not the external we believe it to be. We can learn to live in wealth consciousness and enjoy life fully. No matter where you are you can create wealth. Whether you have much but cannot seem to hold on to it, or you’ve always struggled with making enough to make ends meet, you have the power within you to live abundantly. Three Spiritual Approaches to Money First let’s get past the misconceptions about spirituality’s relationship to money. People have created some interesting spins on the convergence of spirituality and money consciousness. Shakti Gawain’s approach is my favorite model for understanding. Gawain has created helpful distinctions between 3 spiritual approaches to money in her book “Creating True Prosperity”. The Materialistic approach is the typical view we see in the prevailing industrialized world now. Acquisition is the name of the game. The idea is to accumulate as much as possible and die with the most. Competition and winning are the important elements in the materialist approach as social status is tied to bank accounts and high status possessions. There are winners and many more losers in this view. For many people, the stress associated with this predominant approach to money has led to serious consequences. We expend too much of our precious life energy in jobs we hate in order to play this game. We forget what’s really important to us. We loose sight of our true dreams or perhaps we never took the time to find out what would really make us happy. There is nothing sadder than a life lived in service to a false idol. In direct opposition to this is the Spiritualistic approach. Here one renounces worldly goods and chooses a higher calling through spiritual devotion. Adherents live a life of poverty and simplicity choosing to receive all enrichment from direct connection with Spirit. Unfortunately, until recently, many of us thought these were the only two options. This sure caused some problems because they both have some serious drawbacks. The materialist approach is too shallow and disregards the heart and soul. There have been far too many people who’ve expended their precious life energy on pursuing money because they were taught that this was the most important thing in life. 22 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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On the other hand, the spiritualistic approach is far too severe for most people. It doesn’t allow for much of the beauty of this world to be found in culture, music, food and life in general. And, in at least one way, the spiritualistic approach shares a deficiency with the materialistic approach. They both waste precious life energy. While the materialistic approach leads people to waste time on financial pursuits, the spiritualistic approach encourages turning away from much of the pleasure in life. Why throw aside joy in life now in the hopes of attaining a reward upon death? Besides that the Spiritualistic approach would be far too boring for me! The last view about money and spirituality from Gawain’s book is the New Age approach. What a relief this is! Here is an alternative that offers the richness this world has to offer now and a spiritual perspective to live from at the same time. It stresses that what we focus on becomes our reality. This world is a playground of wonderful adventure, wealth and joy. We can be connected to spirit and surrounded by abundance. As a matter of fact, this is the spiritual experience now on earth. Its here to be enjoyed. Joy As has been stated by many teachers, we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Life is our spiritual work. Learning to live in alignment with our soul is our work and that brings joy, wealth and fulfillment to us right here and right now. We don’t need to wait for an elusive reward after we die. We don’t need to deny the beauty and fun in life. The reward happens now. The punishment happens now as well. Well, if you want to call it punishment. Actually, mistakes, setbacks and the like are simply opportunities to learn. You choose. You are learning how to create. The extent to which you align with your life purpose is the extent to which you experience joy now. And the extent to which you experience joy is the extent to which you light the way for others. It’s a pretty great concept, and I love that about my work. Joy brings more joy to yourself and others. Who could ask for a more delicious scenario? So I will let you in on a secret then. It’s not about the money, but about enjoying life and finding that as we live our truth and our authenticity, life flows. When you can completely trust and let go, the resources just appear in amazing ways. Know with your heart and soul. Opportunities which are in alignment with our gifts and our joy present themselves for us to create the money necessary to live well. Paradoxically, the more one embraces the spiritual, the less one needs material comforts. So this truly is not about the money, but about knowing you have it all already, knowing you deserve it all and being open to however the Universe presents the path for you to enjoy your greatest desires. You can have it all. You can live well and love what you are doing. You can be in bliss and the beauty of the dark moments, do work you love and have relationships which nurture you. All the support and comfort that enhance a fulfilled life are there for you and your loved ones as well. This life is about learning to own all that joy. I wish you joy as you explore this for yourself. 23 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Chapter Five Thoughts Fuel our Power to Create Thoughts are simply random neural firings in the brain until we learn to take responsibility for them. We can choose to master our thoughts or they will master us. Mastering thoughts is a life long discipline that could mean more vibrant health, wealth, improved relationships and unbounded personal fulfillment. Thoughts are that important. For most people thoughts are just old tapes that keep repeating themselves. They can come from triggers stored in our bodies, reactions to old memories called up by a long forgotten smell, a configuration of events or items similar enough to elicit an automatic response, or some other stimulus that activates a neural connection. When we look at thoughts this way its no wonder we feel like victims in this world. Thoughts heavily influence our emotions and emotions are our power to create our lives. But it is possible to take control of our thoughts and reprogram ourselves for success in any and every area of our lives. In fact, it’s imperative to do so. If you wish to become a deliberate creator of your life, be aware of your thoughts and build your capacity to change them. Your power is not in the external world. It starts from within with the thoughts you allow yourself to have. Remember, the rich think rich thoughts and the poor think poor thoughts. And since thoughts produce emotion and emotion is your power, thinking well is an awfully good idea. A Light Bulb Goes On My first realization about my own negative thought patterns came spontaneously when I recognized I had been spending an inordinate amount of time ruminating over an old abuse I’d suffered. I was regularly feeling bad and even wishing my life away with thoughts about how many years it had been and how much better I’d be if I could just get some more years away from it! I was constantly thinking thoughts like “It’s been x number of years since he hurt me”. “I’ll be OK someday.” “I wish I hadn’t been there then, so maybe he wouldn’t have done that to me.” “If only I hadn’t said xyz” “If only I hadn’t done that.” As you can imagine, my energy was low, my vibration was low and nothing was working well in my life. Thank goodness there are some wonderful resources out there though. Books helped me build strength. Counseling helped me heal. Coaching taught me about principles like the ones in this book. Coaching also helped me apply the principles in a way that worked for me. I was able to take back control of my obsessive thought patterns. Learning to take responsibility for my thoughts has given me huge amounts of energy.
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It’s great when you are able to independently recognize negative thought patterns. But this is often not the case. More commonly, we need others to raise our awareness of negative patterns. The Spotlight Shines Brighter Some years ago, I had become so used to complaining about not having money that it was completely unconscious. The habit was so ingrained in me that it never registered as a problem until my coach pointed it out. I’ll never forget her telling me that I sounded “a little victim-y”. I must say that it was painful to hear that. No one wants to face their tendency to repeat the patterns they learned from their parents. But it served as a liberating wake up call. We all carry these old patterns learned in childhood. The tendency to behave as we were trained by our primary role models – our parents - is universal. Do I discern shutters of aversion at this? Sorry, but it is our universal reality. Being our parents is much more pervasive than you probably like. Dealing with habits that don’t serve is the first step to moving beyond them. Breaking free of these patterns frees you to build the capacity to create your life deliberately. I had to work hard at building my awareness of old thought patterns in my every day life. It wasn’t comfortable to recognize I was speaking from a scarcity mentality at all. Remember, we can become immune to our own bad habits. We all need objective outsiders to tip us off on occasion. Then it’s important to carry the awareness through in real life. Working with a coach or counselor is great. But you don’t always need a professional to help you become aware. I recommend building a support team. Cultivate friendships with people who care about you and who will be honest with you. Ask them what they see you could improve in terms of your wealth consciousness. Do you speak negatively about the possibility of becoming wealthy? Do you sabotage yourself? Do they hear you complaining about the price of things or how much money you make? Other people can provide you with valuable information. The Objective Awareness Game In addition to outsider feedback, learn to be the objective observer of your own life. Make it a game. The Objective Awareness Game will help you raise consciousness of thoughts and behaviors that you habitually practice. First identify a general thought or behavior that could benefit from more wealth consciousness. When you have found a specific example of a thought or behavior to be transformed, realize that all you need do is notice it. Be non-judgmental, send it light. There is no reason to do battle. Just observe it. If need be, you can continue the game by creatively brainstorming for solutions either alone or with a partner or partners. After coming up with solutions, anticipate possible obstacles and solutions for those. The important thing is to keep this fun and creative throughout. Have fun with your new skills and try on the different solutions in your real life. Sometimes you’ll win, more often you’ll loose, but then again you will never loose as you’ll get better and better with each attempt. 25 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Here’s how I started out playing the Objective Awareness Game: I put aside a full day to observe myself. If I had it to do again, I would have started out by loving myself and sending myself light. I would have made it clear with myself that whatever happened I wouldn’t judge myself. I recommend these steps as they make change so much more effortless. The idea for the day was to simply gain information. I set an intention to follow my thought patterns as much as possible. This is much easier when practicing mundane tasks, so a day that is not too busy is ideal. Through this process, it became clear very quickly that I was caught in a pervasive negative thought pattern. What I found was startling. I started the day by looking in the refrigerator and thinking about what we didn’t have and “Oh My God, how am I going to pay for more food”. Then I brushed my teeth and observed thoughts about having to pay for the dentist. Looking in the closet, I had thoughts of what I didn’t own and how I wished I could buy nicer clothes. This thought process was unbelievably ingrained in me! All these thoughts were occurring throughout the day and I wasn’t even aware of them. These were the habitual thought responses I sent out to the Universe. And since we get exactly what we focus on, guess what? I received exactly what I was sending out. In that instance I understood what I was doing and how perfectly this Universe works. I got exactly what I focused on - more lack. It’s a great idea to carry around a notebook and record every observation you notice. Just spending a minute writing after each segment of the day really builds awareness. (To take this a step further, I recommend you take the Prosperity Readiness Test at the end of this Report to help you build your awareness.) I just shared two simple experiences that helped raise my own awareness. Of course, the value of awareness is that we can get an understanding of what needs to change in order to build wealth mentality. One experience came through self-observation, and one came through having it reflected back to me by a trusted confidante. These two kinds of feedback helped me build my capacity to recognize what was going on in my mind. And by understanding my mind’s tendencies I build the capacity to choose new thoughts and change my mind to create the life I desire. Most of us will have to break through our own limiting egos in order to change though. We can delude ourselves into thinking that our thought patterns and negative emotions are us. They are not. They are of the ego. It’s essential to raise awareness of thought patterns. Step back and notice what’s going on with your thoughts. Become the observer of your life. Don’t underestimate the power of simple thought patterns. Thought patterns are not who you are, but we are under the delusion that thought patterns are us. The idea that Thought Patterns ‘R Us is simply a giant lie brought about by the collective ego to make you forget you’re of the Light. Your 26 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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true spiritual work is to think thoughts of your connection with Spirit. Spirit wants you to live brilliantly. An expanded version of a biblical quote or what it really means: “As for me and my house, we will break the bondage of old patterns of negative thinking. We will think thoughts of a brilliant life that serves the God within seeking expression here on earth.” My thought patterns from the past had the power to hold me in poverty thinking and thus kept me living a poverty experience. If I had let them, they could have continued to hold me there. Sadly, most people are living in unconsciousness about how they create their lives. However, that does not have to be your reality. By building your awareness you take the first step toward the freedom to create your life deliberately. This is something I continue to work at on a regular basis. The first step is to build awareness. The Objective Awareness Game helped build an awareness of what I was doing. Without knowing where I was, it would have been quite difficult to know where to move next. So now that I knew I had a negative mental habit, it was time to work at changing it. Otherwise, this negative mental habit would continue to attract negative circumstances from the Universe. If left uninterrupted, negative mental patterns will prevent positive things from coming into your life, repel positive people and generally make life unappealing for yourself and everyone around you. Granted, many people feel safe in their familiar negative energy and there’s a lot of bonding that goes on over negative energy. You’ll have no problem finding people who’ll commiserate with you in focusing on increasing your pain and negativity. But if you want a great life, I invite you to lift yourself out of that gravitational field! I do warn you that it requires building a new ethereal body, reprogramming your mind and cells, dropping some negative friends and surrounding yourself with new positive influences. The shift may be disorienting and feel like culture shock. But I guarantee that the adjustment will be worth it! More Games So how do you change negative thought patterns? Here are a few ideas that I suggest you work with: 1. Play the Objective Awareness Game: a) Send love to yourself – do this consistently and not just when playing the game! b) Identify a thought or behavior that is not serving your highest good. 27 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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c) Remember all you need to do is notice it and maintain freedom from judgment d) Identify a specific example of the thought or behavior e) Send the thought or behavior light f) If desired, brainstorm solutions either alone or with others g) Anticipate obstacles and brainstorm solutions to those h) Have fun i) Make mistakes and learn from them j) Do it again 2. Set aside one day to observe your thoughts. Use some, all or none of the elements of the Objective Awareness Game. It’s often easiest to notice thoughts while doing routine activities, so instead of admonishing yourself for not observing all day, just observe in these routine moments. You will become stronger with practice. 3. Say “STOP” whenever you notice. 4. Replace the thought with a loving thought toward yourself or another person. 5. Adopt the phrase “No judgment” to protect yourself from having bad thoughts about your bad thoughts! 6. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it each time to recognize a negative thought. 7. Write alternative thoughts and rehearse them 8. Set a timer and think as negatively as possible during that time only 9. Take the Prosperity Readiness Test at the end of this Report 10. Get a Life Coach to support you Much of the above suggestions would fall under what is called thought pattern interruption. I encourage you to incorporate thought pattern interruption in your life for the sake of building a life that works for you. By noticing negative patterns and then replacing them with positive patterns you take more control of your life. Positive thought patterns build a richer, more joyful and abundant life. Who wouldn’t want that?
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Grooves in the Road I think of thought patterns like a dirt road with grooves worn into it. Some of those grooves are more entrenched than others. The path the grooves follow can lead me anywhere in life, but sometimes I forget and am deceived into believing that my only choice is to take the well worn route and thus get the same old results. But then I remember that I am the driver along the path and my carriage is there to serve me. The path represents my life, the carriage is my journey and I decide. Before I became conscious, I allowed the carriage to just keep falling into the same grooves over and over and I was consistently brought to the same places and experiences in life. But I learned and I continue to learn. I’ve had to pull that carriage out of those ruts a lot. Sometimes it only required that I give a little tug of the wheels to move out of the rut. Other times I’d have to get out and put a blanket or even a ramp under the stuck wheel and rock back and forth until I could free my carriage. And still other times I’d have to call in a professional tow truck. But I have to tell you, I much prefer the tow truck to a mediocre life.
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Chapter Six Words Another piece of the knowingness puzzle is words. We’re often taught to be careful of saying things we’ll regret as if it’s only about how it will be perceived by others. But there is much more power to words than this. For many years, I could not speak the name of the person who’d abused me. Though the sound of his name may not have had power for others, the act of transferring his name from a thought in my head to a word that passed my lips, gave it too much power over me. Likewise, it was painful to hear his name mentioned. There is still, in fact, some residual pain at hearing it, though it does not control me. In fact it gives me a sense of assuredness that I’ve become so much stronger and at peace with myself. By using words you are bringing the power of your vibration to a whole new level. Notice the difference in how you feel when you say certain words. There is incredible power in them. Two Word Exercises Try the following experiment: Get yourself some paper or a journal and a pen. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for a few moments and sit comfortably. Be with your body and mind as fully as you can. Acquaint yourself again with your body and your mind. Be open to whatever sensations occur for you now. Take a long full breath and exhale fully. Now say the words “I am good”. How does that make you feel? Write down whatever subtle or not so subtle things you notice. Now say “I am bad.” What do you notice now? Write down your observations again. Another exercise is to simply note the difference in energy you experience with words. What do you notice about how your energy is affected when saying these words or phrases: ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Power Strength War Dispute Lighten up Relax Peace Hostility Mother Father 30 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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! ! ! !
Male Female Husband Wife
How do each of these words makes you feel? Where do you feel it in your body? What images come to mind? How would you rate these words on a scale from one to ten regarding their ability to make you feel good? Let Yourself Be Light One phrase that I find extremely powerful is “Lighten up”. I feel the power of this immediately. It seems to cast out the demons of negative thought very well for me. I was always attracted to the Christmas song “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Let Yourself Be Light”. Even before I had any awareness of the power of words, that phrase attracted me on some level. Check in with yourself right now and notice how it makes you feel to use the words “Lighten Up” and “Let Yourself Be Light”. Words that make you feel good are your nourishment, your power to attract all your desire. Write them, say them, sing them, read them. Heavy Words I remember as a child having a strong negative experience of the power of words. Though the details are vague for me, the feeling was so strong it felt like I had committed violence. Simply put, I remember sitting at my grandmother’s home. A male relative a few years older was sitting there with me on the couch. I have no memory of the disagreement we had or even if we had a disagreement, but I said the words, “I wish you were dead.” I know I felt anger when I said it. But upon saying those words, I felt the most horrible sense of shame that those words came from my mouth. I know he felt bad too as he began biting his nails. Now I am not saying that a child can so simply affect another’s life or death, but the words did feel like I had done something horrible. And, in fact, what I had done was begin the steps toward a manifestation that neither of us wanted. That’s how most of us spend our lives – in complete ignorance of the power of our words and how they begin to create. I never knew what to do about that and so I pushed it aside. Looking back, I wish I’d had access to some help for that incident, but none was available at the time. Using those words had a negative affect on both of us. The words tore into his soul and I felt it and it tore into mine. This is the first time I have ever written or spoken of that incident in my life and I hope that by doing this I am sending light to the soul of my relative who has since passed away. Awareness of Words Throughout this book I seek to help you build awareness in all areas of you life. Your awareness is your strength. By becoming aware of what you habitually say you can stop yourself from saying words with little or negative power and use more positive language. Make it a habit to always find the most positive way to say things. Your words have incredible power, so use them to create abundance. Try changing “I don’t make enough 31 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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money to buy that”, to “I am open to finding ways to buy that”. Change “This is too expensive” to “When I’m ready I’ll consider buying something like this”. These are subtle differences, but the feeling behind the words is more empowering. The words will reach back and influence your thoughts and reach forward and affect your actions in a positive way. Do you see how this shift will make you feel like you have choice and control over your money? And notice that feeling or emotion is one of the aspects of enhancing knowingness as well. So by strengthening words we strengthen positive emotion. You always have the choice to speak words of wealth or words of poverty. This does not mean you ever have to lie. I am not advocating telling people you own a Porsche if you do not. But you can speak of the wonderful things you have and match those words with conviction from your heart. Those who live and speak gratitude attract more opportunity. Speak from your wealth and know that it will build. Speak from knowingness that things will work out for you. Choose words that say you are wealth, love and joy. You are. Truth Spoken As I eluded to earlier, many years ago, in my early teens I’d been taken advantage of by an older boy. I had allowed myself to be victimized and this affected me for years. I never said anything to him about it and like the child that I was, I assumed something magical would happen to change him or the situation. I hadn’t yet learned I needed to speak up for myself. My opportunity came one evening some years later when I was about 19 years old. I was out at a popular night club with some friends and a man grabbed my arm and pulled me over to him. I was surprised to see that it was this abuser from my past. Being a little happy from the drink and atmosphere I forgot about the abuse and was delighted to see him. He immediately started the lines and seduction, and I stepped back and said “You know, I remember you’d said that I would never find another lover as great as you. Well, I gotta tell ya, having been out in the world I’ve realized, you aren’t anything.” All the while I had a big smile on my face. His face dropped, I don’t remember what else was said, but I walked away with a huge positive shift in energy. I said what I needed to say. The negative energy left my body and I was free. It was about much more than words too. It was about letting it go and not caring what he thought. I spoke my truth without the need to change him at all. I was free. The Energy of Words From vocabulary, spoken with confidence, to allowing the words to pass freely through our throats and out completely through our lips without holding back our expression, we tell people much about ourselves through our words. Have you known people who shut down their words? A lack of confidence is often mimicked through speech. How about people who hold themselves back from speaking their truth? Blockages occur in our 32 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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energy systems when we ignore our need to speak. The Universe seeks to express itself through you. When you ignore the flow seeking to move with you and through you, you shut down your power to attract abundance. This blockage of energy affects many other areas in life beyond just money. So many people stifle their words for fear of losing a job, for fear of not fitting in or because they feel they don’t know as much as others. It’s an unfortunate reality that many (perhaps most?) institutions discourage differences of opinion by not allowing people the chance to speak their words. It’s common for leadership to claim to allow people the chance to speak, yet at the same time there is too often an underlying culture of fear and conformity. However, this is not entirely the organization’s doing, for the fear resides in the hearts of members as well. How sad that we have been conditioned to repress our truth and that we are also guilty of repressing other’s truth in service to bureaucracy. When people do not speak their truth they bottle up negative energy and it wrecks havoc on their physical bodies, infects relationships, and harms their emotional and spiritual health. When institutions do not allow open communication, they lose the opportunity to adapt, grow and evolve. The negative energy that comes from repressed words must be expressed. Unfortunately, many people continue to bottle it up until they explode. As I am sure you’ve experienced, this is usually an inappropriate expression often leading to negative consequences. Childcare Fiasco Many years ago a friend of mine had agreed to help me out with childcare. Almost immediately, I noticed her becoming cold toward me, but when I asked if anything was wrong she always said everything was fine. One day I called her and explained I’d be picking up my son from school and he would not be coming to her place after. I was shocked when she started screaming at me that I was taking advantage of her. Now keep in mind I was paying her as well, so I truly felt we had come to a mutually satisfying agreement. I tried to talk to her but she maintained that I was just an awful person. I called her later to try to discuss it, but she said she no longer wanted to be friends with me. The next time I saw her at a school function she was obviously upset to be around me, but since she had indicated it was over, I had to let it go. Looking back on this, I realize I can be a rather disorganized person and forget to make advance plans for things so I tended to be pretty spur of the moment when making arrangements with her. Without further input from her, that is all I can conclude. But with a number of years to reflect on this, I see that what happened is that she did not speak her truth. It’s likely that she never wanted to watch my son in the first place. But instead of telling me, she allowed a minor misunderstanding to build up to a point of exploding and losing a friendship. 33 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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How many times have you exploded at someone when you really should have expressed your concern? Or have you been on the receiving end of an emotional explosion, accusing you of deliberately disregarding their feelings, hurting you in some way or being rude somehow? These usually come with no warning. The person did not speak what they needed to, repressed it and exploded. As I’m sure you’ll recognize, that’s not such a great thing for relationships. The Power of Journaling Negative emotions affect many aspects of our lives so it’s important to clear them up. But sometimes finding appropriate verbal expression is difficult. Writing the words may be the answer. I often recommend that clients allow free expression of the written word through journaling. When feeling negative emotions try the following: In your journal, allow yourself the freedom to write whatever nastiness, regurgitation, therapeutic release, and pettiness you wish. Say it all! I remember a number of times being so furious with my ex-husband that I wrote all kinds of terrible things about him. I let it rip! I wrote that he was a jerk, and a %&#!, among many others. By the time I was finished, I felt a lot better. My words allowed me to clear the blinding rage out and allowed me to think more clearly. When I was finished, I was ready to have a level headed conversation. When complete with this, ask your guidance if further work should be done on this or not. Sometimes, when I am experiencing a particularly strong emotion, I start with the journaling and then follow it up with a ceremony in which I burn the pages to symbolize letting go of the situation. By doing this and similar exercises to get myself feeling better I move into a higher vibration. After all, your life energy is all you have and is the fuel you need to attract wealth. The Sound of Ahh and Selling the House I’d like to close this section with an attraction success story of my own. This is about sounds, which are the basis of words. Sounds have vibrational frequencies that attract. That’s one good reason to be mindful of your words as well! Using sound, and in particular, something called Japa Meditation, I was able to manifest the sale of an unmarketable house. I used Wayne Dyer’s audio program “Meditations for Manifesting”, which includes a full description of the program. Briefly, the sound of Ah is universally used for pleasure in all languages. And, of course, feeling good and pleasurable and associating that with your desire attracts that which you desire to you. The sound Ah is also found in every word for God – Buddha, Brahma, Jesus…… First, I’d like to take you through a brief history of my seemingly impossible house problem and how I accessed the Law of Attraction to lift myself out of it. Years ago, my ex-husband and I purchased a home we could barely afford in the school district we wanted and moved in with our 10 months old son. It was on a major highway, situated on a hill with no access to sidewalks. It was cute and served our needs at the time, but we knew we didn’t want to stay there. 34 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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The reason we bought it was because the prevailing wisdom said that buying a home was very important before the prices made the purchase prohibitive. We certainly didn’t want to be closed out of home ownership and all the experts said we’d need to run right out to get a home before it was too late. At the time I was not turned on to the issues associated with acting out of fear, but I later learned. The place needed a lot of work. Of course, we did our best to make it livable. My exhusband put exorbitant amounts of labor into the place while I did what I could. I did some painting and landscaping while raising our first and then second young sons. But we hated the location. It was situated on a rock, the soil was all slate, the windows got dirty very easily from all the trucks zooming by and the road was so noisy that having a conversation in the yard was a struggle. We found out the hard way how easy it is to be burned by putting blind trust in experts. Almost immediately after we moved in, the housing market dropped. As if that wasn’t enough, we found out we didn’t own the front yard. Apparently, our lawyer hadn’t bothered to check the survey which clearly showed that the state’s property ran from under the eaves of the house, encompassed the front yard and out to the street. And it gets worse. That front yard which belonged to the State of New York, contained our dry well and septic. This was an unmarketable property and truly a nightmare for us. Since our lawyer had mismanaged our transaction we were stuck. I called many lawyers, but none would even consider going after another lawyer. Apparently, we had no case against the previous owners either. We tried to sell but realtors were at a loss. They would look at our place, make some promises about being able to sell it and disappear. We were told it was unmarketable. Occasionally a lawyer told us he could help too, but then eventually didn’t return our calls. This went on for years between the ups and downs of every day living. Fortunately, I became more aware that what I was feeling affected my life. I was working at my own growth, giving up some control issues, building my awareness, etc. I started using Wayne Dyer’s Japa Meditation while focusing on selling the place. I wanted a happy outcome for all concerned. I did not want to stick someone else with our problem either. As luck would have it, (note, I actually don’t believe in luck, but this is a nice transitional phrase), around that time there was a road construction project starting a few miles down the road. With questioned hope, I called to find out if our home might be purchased as part of the project. The answer was no. They were not planning on doing any significant work where we were located. But in faith, I went back to my meditation and practiced my knowingness. I would guess I meditated on this for about 3 months. Then one day my ex-husband called me at work to tell me that the state might consider purchasing our home. When I got home he explained that he’d called them and insisted 35 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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they come to show him where they were planning on putting in the new sidewalks. He showed them where our septic system was and explained that they may be causing our home to be uninhabitable. Well they purchased our home, and we ended up with more money than would have been possible even if we’d successfully went through a real estate agent. Plus, the extra that we put down on our new home helped me make a successful financial transition into being single a few years later. To make this long story short, we lived in this unmarketable house for 14 years with no foreseeable way out. I meditated with sound for 3 months and we were able to sell the house. I use this meditation tape on and off to this day. So speak your truth, speak positively, and meditate using the sound of Ah. All it requires is emanating the sound of Ah while feeling what you wish to manifest. Move it through your body from the sex chakra up through the body and out the third eye. If you’d like a great guide, check out Wayne Dyer’s program Meditations for Manifesting.
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Chapter Seven Belief Believing you deserve wealth makes it possible. Believing you don’t deserve wealth makes it impossible. Since deserving is about self-esteem, it makes sense to check out your self-esteem. Self-Esteem Do you remember the mean comments made about Sally Fields after her Oscar acceptance some years ago? She said “You like me, you really like me!” That’s all she said. Comedians and talk show hosts spoofed her mercilessly after that. Why? Because she showed her vulnerability. It’s a mistake we still must watch out for in this physical world. Insecurity and vulnerability are not attractive to others. And, the hard truth is that they do not attract what we desire on a cosmic level either. But instead of ostracizing those who publicly suffer from what we all secretly fear, we could raise the entire vibration of the planet by offering support where it’s needed. By helping others, we help ourselves and increase our own self-esteem. After all, each success opens the door for more. We all stand to gain tremendously from the success of others as it raises the vibration of all. We’re not supposed to admit we feel insecure because it would shine light on that truth for all of us. Yet recognizing it, loving ourselves totally and completely with all of our faults is essential to channel the light of the Universe. Most of us experience some form of low-esteem due to separation from light. We are often compelled to behave as either victims or aggressors. Look at how children prey on the weaker among them. Adults are often not so different really; we just cover it up better. It’s really just ego acting up. We hold on to these ideas that cause our low self-esteem because of ego. These ideas of separation feel like the only thing we have. Our ego tells us that we would die if we gave in to the light and allowed the Universe to guide us. True self-esteem requires that we decline playing the power game whether we typically participate as victim or grandiose champion. True self-esteem means we love ourselves in our mistakes and triumphs. Nothing we achieve or blunder is our true self. We are channels for the light. By knowing this we are truly love to ourselves and all who come in contact with us. Many people are still jockeying in the chess game of life either waiting to see who’ll move their piece timidly so they can steal their power or playing victims without taking full responsibility for themselves. We’ve all played as predators and victims and most of us continue to play the game.
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Every one of us has grappled with feelings of inferiority at some time in our lives. And those who feel superior have the insecurity of knowing that they’ll be on the losing end soon enough. The vast majority of adults and children have self-esteem issues. Unfortunately, talking about it and working on it has been frowned upon in recent years. These may be some of the reasons: 1) Self-esteem has been confused with confidence (see below) 2) Self-esteem has been confused with arrogance (which is really poor self-esteem) 3) Lots of people SAY they are confident who are not 4) We have a tendency to compare ourselves to others (hint: this is just another ego trick – shift the words to “learn from” as opposed to compare) Feeling good about yourself is essential for success. It is the responsibility of every adult to address these concerns for him or herself and to encourage and support the self-esteem of others, especially children. There are many things you can do to help yourself feel great about you: 1. Set strong boundaries (See Boundaries Worksheet at the end of this book) 2. Practice awareness regarding your thoughts through journal writing and/or mental awareness 3. Use affirmations 4. Be involved with a strong community 5. Hire a coach 6. Create a strong Personal Foundation 7. Learn 8. Provide service for others (be careful - its essential to take care of yourself first in order to do this well) 9. Work with a therapist when necessary 10. Do work that brings you joy Confidence and self-esteem are not the same. Self-esteem is belief in your basic worthiness regardless of whether you are terrible at a certain task, suffering from rejection or dealing with tragedy. Self-esteem means loving yourself regardless of performance. Confidence is belief in your competence to handle a task. Self-esteem comes from trust in yourself and service; confidence builds with knowledge and experience. Paradoxically, self-esteem and confidence are challenged whenever you grow, so expect to deal with them a lot if you want to have a great life. Learn everything you can about your field to build confidence. Learn about personal growth to create great self-esteem. Most of the previous paragraphs in this chapter discussing self-esteem were written before the following story occurred. Though I know it’s all valuable information, I was to be given a lesson about another dimension of belief that brought this to a whole new level for me.
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The Wave-Maker Machine Knowing and teaching all this had been very beneficial to me, but I continued to be challenged with my own self-esteem until 2003 when I tried an energy shifting program that cleaned out beliefs I’d stored in my body. And let me clarify that I was not conscious of my issues with self-esteem at the time. For years I’d learned all I could about self-esteem. I also taught and wrote about it. I was an expert – at least in my head! Looking back I recognize I was like so many other healers. I was searching for ways to heal my own issues. I had been severely ostracized as a teenager and traumatized by strict religious guilt teachings. Plus my marriage was beginning to fall apart. This combined with the fact that I was and still am extremely sensitive and a late bloomer caused an enormous burden I kept trying to solve through therapy, coaching and all manner of self-help programs. Finally, something new (though a bit bazaar) came along that made a difference for me. I was offered an energy shifting program by my coach, Drew Rozell. Drew was experimenting with a machine called the Wave-Maker machine. The machine was supposed to shift one’s energy and change core beliefs. I realize this might sound crazy to you and it did to me as well! If I didn’t have so much confidence in Drew as a coach, I never would have considered something so out of the mainstream as this treatment. Though I had planned to use the machine to shift my beliefs about money, which were recurrent problems for me, the session went an entirely different way. First Drew worked with me through applied kinesiology. Without getting into too much detail, kinesiology is concerned with energy systems in the body applied through muscle testing. The idea is that the body carries truth which is unhampered by the mind’s identification with the ego. So even though my mind wanted to work on my money beliefs, my body’s wisdom told us both that I really needed work on my self-esteem. He showed me a machine that was just a little box with a couple of lights and 2 wires with rods at the ends. I was to write a statement of what I wanted based on the kinesiology work. Then I was to hold the rods until the lights stopped flashing. To be honest, I thought the whole situation was completely ridiculous and comical, but because I trusted Drew so much I went ahead with it. There was really nothing much to the machine treatment and in just a few minutes, we were complete. Drew gave me a bottle of water and told me to drink more when I got home. At first, I felt no change at all. Later that evening I went out for pizza with my ex-husband and 2 sons. That’s when I started noticing something funny about my body. I was unbelievably thirsty! I had the waitress bring me glass after glass of water. I started to realize something had changed. I wasn’t feeling particularly well, and when we got home I went to bed as early as I could. Then I woke in the middle of the night vomiting! The next day I was feeling horrible and continued vomiting. It took me about 3 days to recover. 39 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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When I called Drew he was baffled at first, but later got back to me to explain that my body was detoxifying itself. Not until 2005, when I saw the movie, “What the Bleep Do We Know”, did I fully understand the cellular reaction I had experienced. My cells had become addicted to my inferior belief about myself. I had been an insecurity addict! It truly can be difficult to move forward in life when our cells have habituated to patterns that are familiar yet toxic. But if we want joy, we must move through familiar patterns to create new ones. The change can be uncomfortable, but in my case at least, the adjustment has been well worth it. I absolutely feel good about who I am now. I am minimally or not at all concerned about what other’s think of me, and I celebrate my uniqueness. You may or may not like this book, my clothes or who I am. And, while I do surround myself with people who love me and celebrate who I am, it’s great to be free of general opinion. And though my confidence and occasionally my self-esteem are challenged as I grow, the essential truth that I know is that I am a manifestation of God. I am valuable as I am, evolving, caught in some patterns that don’t work, changing, making a bunch of mistakes and having fun. In short, I love myself and that’s a great freedom. The Wave-Maker machine is not a requirement to change your core beliefs. I believe the machine would never have worked for me had I not prepared myself previously. There are other energy shifting treatments that I think are very powerful as well. What is necessary is conscientious growth. By conscientious growth, I mean growth that is deliberately sought. One can seek growth through journaling, books, groups, coaching and many other ways. (See also the meditation on releasing addiction to failure at the end of the book.) And growth does not have to be so dramatic as my experience. It can be a gentle steady progression as well. When it becomes clear that you have a recurring obstacle, it’s time to look at the next level of support. See the end of this chapter and the last chapter for ideas. You will get to where you wish to be. Oh let me amend that – you are already there. (In case you forgot, The Law of Attraction teaches that you KNOW and feel what you wish to create.) Our Deepest Beliefs Our deepest beliefs become reality because the Universe responds to these and reflects them back to us. Vibration and energy are the truest form of beliefs. And remember, vibration and energy are equivalent to emotion. People can get confused about this because they assume their conscious thoughts are what they truly believe. And yes, conscious thoughts are a symptom of beliefs and often you don’t even need to excavate the origin of the belief if you can build the capacity to change the vibration. We’ve all heard stories about people who paid tens of thousands of dollars and years in psychotherapy to uncover the hidden memory of some incident that caused them to develop a limiting belief. This can be very valuable information when it’s looked at objectively and healed quickly. 40 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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It can also, unfortunately, become another drama that people move into and identify with. My invitation to you is to simply put this into perspective. Memories are colored and change over time. They are unreliable. Let them go. Don’t allow your history to determine your future. You can build the capacity to be anything you like. While excavating hidden memories can be fun and interesting, it can become a trap that keeps you from present joy. Learn to think positively and build beliefs that work for you now. Simply choose joy now. You can balance an exploration of the origin of beliefs with presence. Be here now and enjoying life. Don’t allow yourself to put off joy and a fulfilling life now in the hopes of becoming enlightened once you heal some memory from the past. You are whole now. I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine who I respect very much. This woman is a coach and psychologist and does work with bio-feedback. We were talking about belief. We were both stumped. What else is there to belief? If only we could just help people shift into it. The thing about belief is that it just is. You just have to know. You have to practice being. Get acquainted with that. What does it feel like to know you are now sitting in the chair you are in right now? What is having an absolute knowing that the chair is there? You don’t contemplate it, you just know. That is belief brought to the level of knowing. Belief Shifters Here are some techniques to help you change old beliefs and install new ones. Any of the following ideas can have a profound influence on your belief system and thus your life: Maintain objective awareness – Become detached. Objectively observe your tendencies in a non-judgmental way and begin to build the capacity to be better. Establish Rapport with the Belief – Welcome the belief rather than trying to do battle with it. Every belief was created for a reason. We may never understand it, but thank it for its service to you and send it light. It served its purpose and now you are ready to move on. Think from the end – Get acquainted with and become the Successful You! Feel what it would be like to have the success you wish to have. Be that. Ask yourself how you would handle every situation that arises if you were already successful. Then act as if! Take time to check in with yourself regularly and ask that Successful You what your beliefs are. Then behave and hold beliefs as if you already are what you wish to be. Learn from Others - Look to those you admire for clues when you need ideas. Then try experimenting with these new ideas when they seem right for you. Surround yourself with positive influences – Hang with people who are doing great and learn from them, have inspiring objects around you, read inspiration stories. Limit the news and negative people – Enough said. Replace limiting beliefs with positive beliefs – Start a little at a time and build as your capacity for joy increases. See AVR technique below. Read books – There are tons of great books on being positive! Meditate Make your Health a priority – You know about exercise, water and eating right! Seek out and be with positive people 41 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Check out Think Right Now! – These are mental reprogramming tapes found through my website. Work with a coach AVR – Appreciate, Vibrate and Relate – the One Two Three Method to Building Beliefs that manifest all you desire. Use this method when you are clear on a belief you’d like to install. Start with an easier belief that you feel is possible and work your way up. Notice that the Universe will give you exactly what you need to work on to get to where you want to be. 1 - Appreciate a. Think of something – anything - that makes you feel really, really good. Use a new dress, your child, a kitten, a carburetor, fresh fallen snow or whatever makes you feel very good. b. Now focus on all the wonderful things about this. Appreciate every little detail. Spend at least a full minute appreciating it in detail. c. Now notice how the appreciation feels in your body. Where do you feel it? What feels different? How about your mind? What are you noticing there? What are your emotions like? Note: it can actually feel uncomfortable to feel really good like this. You are increasing your capacity for joy – the body and mind need to be acclimated to this. Just keep at it. For most of us it’s easy to be miserable, but it takes work to be happy. (Check out the addiction to failure meditation at the end of the book). d. Take the time to note how this really good feeling feels for you. You may notice an inner smile, a sense of lightness, taller posture, a sense of relaxation or something else. Be sure to capture this feeling as it’s your power to create. 2 – Vibrate a. Now be with that feeling of appreciation. In other words, be as fully present with the joy of this feeling as possible. b. Take this feeling and turn up the volume. See how much you can increase it. c. Notice any resistance you may have to increasing the good feelings and simply notice them and let them go. d. Continue being, ramping up the volume, letting go of resistance and enjoying the vibration. 3 – Relate a. Now write down a belief that you feel is within your reach. Be sure to write the belief in the present tense and check in with your inner guidance on whether you think it’s a possibility. Some examples are “I am wealth”, “I make all 42 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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b. c. d. e.
the money I need” or “I follow my guidance to more and more abundance.” While writing and thinking about your new belief move into the feeling of appreciation and the highest vibration you can associate with that. Maintain this great feeling while holding your new belief. Hold on to this feeling for at least 16 seconds. Repeat often.
Come to the Manifestation Project – This is my community support and education program created to help people live the Law of Attraction. Weekly meetings are offered in Albany, NY and teleclasses are accessible from all over the world. Go to manifestationproject.com,
[email protected] or call 518 279 4283 for more information.
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Chapter Eight Emotion Emotion is energy in motion. The Universe is nothing but energy. As beings of the Universe, we are nothing but energy. Your body, mind, spirit, everything you touch, feel, taste, experience is nothing but energy. Emotion is the most easily movable access to the power of the Universe that you have available to you. There are 3 kinds of emotions that we can work with: positive, negative and painful emotions. Positive emotions are what bring positive experiences, negative emotions hold us in a stuck pattern and painful emotions are the responses we have to transitions. Painful emotions can become positive or can be repressed and cause negative emotions. You’ll want to learn to work effectively with all three and to generate much more positive emotion to deliberately attract the life you want. There will be more about these 3 kinds of emotion later in this chapter. Emotion is your fuel, your power, your means to create. Most of us use this power unconsciously and stare dumbfounded at the results. An Emotional Reaction occurs spontaneously. We can learn to control this more effectively over time, but it is a life long discipline. We think we are victims of fate, our upbringing, the weather, the government, our family or friends. And yes, to a large extent we are programmed to responses that cause triggers within our bodies that make us react unconsciously to things in our environment thus creating an emotional response that we can tend to think is beyond our control. The Shudder of Poured Drinks Most of us aren’t aware of this, but our emotional reactions are stored in the body. We think it’s a mental process, but emotions happen automatically without thought. I noticed this happening in my own body when my children were small. While I love them dearly and did everything I could to be a good mother, I had a limited capacity for supervising young children. So the frequent children’s groups that met at my home could become a strain on me. If you’ve ever waited on young children you know how demanding it can be. The noise, demands, disagreements, and needed interventions can be overwhelming. And passing out drinks always seemed to be the most stressful part of any of these gettogethers for me. Inevitably, one child would spill their drink, someone was not satisfied or wanted something different, and they’d be off doing something new while I was still pouring drinks. This was the worst time for me, and as you’ve probably picked up, I strongly disliked it. What was interesting was that I noticed something about the sound of pouring a beverage – you know that sound that is used to signal refreshment in commercial? Well, because 44 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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of its association with my feeling like a slave to young children, I developed an aversion to the sound. I felt a sense of dread every time I heard it! I’d developed a reaction to the sound! Now imagine the emotional reactions we develop and store in our bodies from when we were young and impressionable! They just happen. This is an emotional reaction. Cosmic Roll of the Dice We each have our own emotional reactions that occur due to whatever circumstances we were exposed to. We must contend with the fact that some people appear to have had easier upbringings than we did and seem to have had an easier time in life. Others do not have to contend with the same obstacles you do because you had your own unique set of circumstances. And believe it or not, there is nothing personal about the fact that your parents happened to do a lousy job and left you with scars. Your job on this planet is to deal with the hand you were dealt as effectively as possible. I refer you to the books “A Child Called It”, “The Lost Boy” and “A Man Called Dave” by David Pelzer for the true story of the most horrific child abuse imaginable by the man who survived and is now thriving. I have no doubt that this man’s continued strength derived from his past will serve him well in life. The idea that we are stuck due to our past has been used for quite some time as an excuse not to grow into effective human beings. However, now the pendulum is turning toward self-responsibility and that can a terrific thing. It is true that past circumstance is no reason to limit any life. But I’d like to remind us all that this life is not about swinging from one end of a reaction to another. We must learn to live in dichotomy and paradox. Recognize that every state has its polar opposite. We have access at any moment to each end of the spectrum, and that gives us incredible freedom. Basically, I’m speaking of balance between self-responsibility and support offered to the victims inside ourselves and others. In the past, we enabled and coddled those who had to deal with adversity by allowing them far too many indulgences or not holding them up as able to be responsible for their lives. Now we’ve moved to the other extreme. Instead of tempering our expectations with patience, we’ve become overly intolerant. There is a harshness hurled onto those dealing with transition or pain that I think needs to be infused with love. Having been the recipient of some of this harshness at times, I can tell you that it only adds to the pain. Since I’m writing this while in the throws of one of the most difficult periods of my life, I can relate to how much emotional trauma can tend to hold me back if I allow it. And while, I must allow myself the care necessary to move through this time, I am still a whole responsible human being. I have all the answers in my head right now. I am a life coach, committed to studying and living personal and spiritual growth. I know a lot about this stuff. While I know what to do, and I have a good support community of friends and coaches, I need time to heal. The idea is to avoid over-identification with the 45 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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pain and not get too comfortable with being a victim. Step back and observe what’s going on. Take the time and space necessary to heal. Love yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love yourself and list all the great things about you. Set strong limits with those who would take too much of your time or energy. Don’t allow negative people near you. Reach out to positive people and engage in activities that bring you joy. Some of us do have a more difficult time due to current trauma or an abusive past. That is true. Yet life goes on, and we have a responsibility to pull our weight too. I simply invite you to love yourself through it all. Loving yourself is the most responsible thing you can do for yourself and for the entire world. Believe this and let this into your heart. Light and Love for Your Unique Life Take a moment now to close your eyes and open your heart to these words. Really open your heart. Imagine the energy opening in your heart to allow light and love to flow through. All the love you could ever want or need is flowing in to fill the hurting places in your heart. The Universe wants to reach you there and you are now allowing that. You are a cherished, loved, magnificent being and God wants you to be your magnificent self here on earth. That is your only mission. Be love, be joy, be wealth. The Universe needs you to be your truest and most complete self. With every weakness, every wart, every mistake or sin you’ve committed you are still perfect and magnificent. You are love. You who have been abused, neglected or committed abuse yourself, going through tragedy, divorce or death, disaster or illness, you are complete right now in your current state. You need do nothing else. You are perfect as you are. Open your heart to this. Loving yourself is your greatest gift to the world. Wounded Child to Accomplished Adult Learn the difference between building on scars from the past and using them to stay stuck. Rather than presenting scars as badges of courage, think of them as evidence of your strength. They are not who you are, but proof of how far you’ve come. Talk about them only when working with a healer for your own growth or to help others who would benefit from knowing obstacles can be transcended. In addition to my current transition out of a 24 year marriage, I myself have had to contend with past abuse and ostracism. And if I can move through it to a beautiful life of joy and love, you can too. I realize it sounds like a contradiction that I am going through trauma now and yet am experiencing a great life, but it is true. So yes, even though I am going through a sort of hell at this point in my life, it has beauty and is perfect for what I need to grow at this time. Being with life fully and feeling the emotions is beauty. I look forward to where my life leads me next. It’s been said that our history is not our future. Accept that you have choice. You can learn to objectively observe your emotional responses to things and choose a different path. When you learn to respond in a way that you choose, understanding that your emotion is your power to create, you have built a basis for the life you choose. It does 46 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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take some work to stop unconsciously reacting with programmed emotion. It’s easier to blame than to take responsibility. And you have absolute choice to continue being haphazardly pushed about by your emotional reactions. But your Soul and the Universe are anxiously awaiting your arrival to conscious joy. Think of the process of choosing your emotions as training. You are building your capacity for spiritual strength. At first you may realize that you could have felt differently many days or hours after the situation. That is great progress! You noticed! Then you’ll get it more quickly, you’ll backslide sometimes and you’ll get better and better and occasionally have moments where it doesn’t work at all. But overall you’ll build your spiritual muscle for managing your emotions more effectively. If you wish to create the life you truly want, you must master emotion. Now I am not saying that you should always feel bliss or that feeling bad about anything is a problem. We are all human. But we don’t need to allow the feeling to define us, give in to it or become the feeling. We can learn to process the emotions and not make feeling bad be who we are. We can be with whatever emotion comes along, process it and let it pass through us. Friends to Remind Us Not so long ago, I was seriously challenged to bring in more income. I forgot about the power I have over my emotions and was going down the path to hopelessness. The challenge threw me into self-doubt and I started to believe I’d need to get a job instead of following my passion for coaching, training and writing. (This does not mean that one should never have to take on a job in order to make ends meet. We often need to do that.) But this challenge caused me to feel like I could not reach my goals for creating a more abundant life for myself and my sons in the way I was determined to do. Coming from this negative emotion is not a good foundation to operate from. Fortunately, a good friend was there for me. I asked him if he had any jobs and he was wise enough to realize there was something else going on. So he asked me what was really happening. After explaining the situation, he reminded me that I was acting out of fear. After a great pep talk, I returned to my home office determined to move into more positive emotions and live from the knowingness I talk about here. Later that very day, I received a request to do some work that I love to do and was offered a very nice compensation for it. Though I cannot prove it, I know in my heart that my emotional shift brought that opportunity to me. As a side note, I want to express my deep appreciation for having friends like that! Addiction to Negative Emotions, Ego and the Drama Queen As I suggested earlier about negative emotions: they can be addictive. How many times have you offered to help a friend who pushed you away because they were caught up in their negativity? Though I wouldn’t recommend telling a person whose down that they’re addicted, I would encourage you to look at yourself when down. For the greatest thing you can do for others is to be a model to them. Telling anybody anything has very 47 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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limited power. Call up the observer in yourself and watch yourself from a detached perspective. Do you notice how you can have a tendency to call up more negative memories that only fuel the state of negative wallowing you are in? Have you had a serious long term relationship that included fights? It’s interesting how easy it is to suddenly remember every horrible thing that person ever did when in the throws of an argument. Before the argument, you weren’t thinking of any of those things, but because something triggered a fight, all those old memories came flooding back. This is a great example of the Law of Attraction. Negative attracts negative. Of course, its wise to remember that positive attracts positive as well, so if you can do it, this would be a great time to switch into more positive emotions! One of our greatest obstacles to living in positive emotion is our insidious ego. Ego wants us to separate from the light of our highest self. Ego doesn’t want to feel good. It draws strength from being separate and special. Negativity makes ego feel important. When triggered, ego draws us to feeling bad to prove that we’re not a part of the light. There’s a feeding frenzy that occurs when down at lower vibratory levels. The low state wants to continue its pain by bringing in more painful memories. It can even go so far as to cause people to do things deliberately to cause more pain in their lives. I am sure you’ve met people who just love their problems. Think of the drama kings and queens you’ve met. When I was a young adult one of my friends was constantly having problems with people. All manner of horrible people kept doing terrible things to her. In retrospect, I remember something inside warning me to stay away. Even at 20 years old, I knew intuitively there was more to this. Unfortunately, though, I had to learn like most of us – the hard way. So, of course, eventually she manipulated a situation to make it appear I was evil so she could present me as another horrible person to some friends. At least I learned my lesson from the situation and decided to hang out with more positive people after that! The truth is that most mature adults know enough to stay away from this behavior in others. We realize, at least unconsciously, that it protects us from this kind of drama. But there’s an important lesson hidden in our tendency to recoil from extremely negative people. Rather than just move away from the drama completely, why not observe what’s causing you to retreat? Just as homophobes hate gays because they fear the tendency they see in themselves, isn’t our repulsion caused by our own tendency in that area? Aren’t we infatuated with bad news, drama, murder and mayhem? Rather than live in peace and satisfaction with our lives and our relationships, don’t we tend to emphasize the negative and get a charge from problems? Isn’t this our ego’s way of maintaining separation from the light? While most of us aren’t overly dramatic about it, don’t we routinely put our focus on the negative? We say we want solutions, but we’re stuck in our issues. We get to talk about them, we get to point to issues as the reason we aren’t achieving. We can look to circumstance and others as the reason for our failure. We can offer up all manner of excuses to avoid standing in our own power. We even throw stones at those who achieve what we wish for ourselves. 48 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Our repulsion at drama addicts is a reminder of our own tendency to be seduced by drama. Our focus on the negative, keeps us from loving this experience of life and being channels for light here on earth. In the example of my old friend, she systematically destroyed relationship after relationship instead of enjoying the love she had. Similarly, we tend to destroy the bounty we are given here by emphasizing the negative. We can always choose the higher road. At any moment we all have the capacity to be in joy and light. Just breath it in and remember who you are. Choose peace, choose joy, there is no problem in this moment. Be love. The current circumstances just show you how you’ve been vibrating in the past, now you can learn from it and vibrate differently. Be Success Feel, Know and Be success now! We have the capacity to be it all now. We have this crazy idea that unless we’ve achieved already we aren’t really there, and yet we are there. Everything is available now. In order to be successful, you must be successful before you are successful. Yes, yes, I know I’m sounding crazy here, so let me share a few quotes and explain that one. “The process of getting there is the quality of being there.” - Sanaya Roman, Duane Packer “Infinite patience produces immediate results”. – A Course in Miracles This is about faith, feeling and knowing you are what you wish to manifest. Generate strong positive emotion aimed at what you wish to create. Know even when things aren’t working. Be what you wish to create. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Ghandi “Being, comes before doing, comes before having.” - Tom Hooper “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” - Wayne Dyer Prosperity in your heart precedes prosperity in the physical world. All this emphasis on drama keeps us from being. Being or knowingness is what makes it happen for you now. You are wealth, you are success, you are love. Choose that and follow the guidance that comes to you. Choose that even when it does not appear that anything is working. And yes, the Universe will send you tests to be sure you are true to this decision you’ve made. Declare that you are. Feel it in every part of your body, mind and soul. Generate the knowingness, the beingness that you are wealth. This is a process. And I can tell you honestly that I fall down a lot on this stuff! But I get back up and generate more and more positive emotion as much as I can. I still have pain over my divorce, but I don’t become that, I process it, I move through it. I feel better all the time and watch with joy at how my knowingness manifests itself in the world. I feel this amazing woman inside who stands tall at only 5 feet and radiates love and wisdom. 49 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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I am able to put my ego aside more and more often so that I may be her. When I come from love I am her, when I come from knowingness I am her. When I come from my fear I am still her, but I forget she is me and the world misses out on her ability to channel love from the Universe. So I work at beingness and knowingness. I expect this will be a life long process. I have more moments in which I’ve transcended ego than before, but then again, I am more often in ego than I wish to be. That’s life. I get the support I need and keep at it. You have your own unique presence inside that calls you to let it out. By being and knowing joy, love, abundance, and beauty, that Divine Presence inside you gets to come out and play in the world. That is the greatest gift you can offer the world. You are wealth. You are love. You are infinite. Negative Emotions vs. Painful Emotions There is a difference between negative emotions and painful emotions. Negative is attached to ego. Negative emotion blocks light in a deliberate way to perpetuate staying stuck. Negative emotion is what I talked about earlier – that attachment to the victim. Pain, however, is simply part of life. Even the most painful emotions can be transformed into joy when we allow them to pass through us. Pain that we fully embrace and experience completely enriches us and builds our capacity for light. Painful emotions can become a beautiful part of the artistry that is your life’s journey. One of the most beautiful memories of my life was at my father’s wake. My mother, sister and her husband, two brothers, ex husband, two sons and I were given time with my father’s body before the public viewing. We entered the room together to say goodbye in our own way. Looking back, I don’t remember anyone saying anything that stands out as especially relevant. We just supported each other and cried. We let down our facades. We were together as we had never been before. The little annoyances we’d felt toward each other were gone as we processed his passing together. What stands out to me from that experience is the love we shared and the emotion we allowed each other to feel and express in our own way with complete acceptance. We were simply together and being with our grief. Resisting painful emotions gives them power over you and that’s when they become negative emotions that crop up over and over wrecking havoc in your life. Since emotions are energy, they need to have expression. They do not die. They find a place to live in the body and wait for a similar situation (or trigger) to remind you that you have not handled the energy they gave you. But the paradox is that the energy you received controls you until you acknowledge it and work with it. When ignored, emotions behave like ghosts haunting us, showing up at inopportune times, driving good things away, limiting possibilities, getting angrier and more pervasive over time. Unprocessed emotions recur over and over in response to seemingly unrelated situations. They create serious health problems, destroy relationships and make a good quality life impossible. 50 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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“If we’ve never dealt with a particular pain, the soul presses us to experience something similar again in order to own it.” Lynn Grabhorn Have you noticed that while many older people are wonderfully wise, there are many more older people who are crabby and impossible? Since there is so little enthusiasm in our society for handling emotions, people literally become reactive time bombs over the course of their lifetimes. Most people just keep collecting more unprocessed emotions, building issue upon issue and becoming more and more reactive over time. You are fortunate indeed if you have older role models who’ve learned to process emotions correctly. As people become older they either become bitter from lack of emotional processing or wise from managing their emotions well. Being astute enough to process emotions is the key to graceful aging. So which do you prefer? To be a victim of circumstance, buffeted around by your emotions and slowly becoming more broken down both physically and emotionally, becoming more bitter, carrying more and more emotional baggage over time while your body shows visible signs of stress or even withdrawing from life completely as a means of avoidance? (I know I’m laying it on thick here, but I want to be sure you get the point!) Or do you wish to move through emotions, processing them effectively, learning, becoming wiser, growing, making mistakes, and improving while learning to bring the light of the Universe into more areas of your heart, your life and the world around you and live more joyfully and longer? Though most everyone would choose to grow wise with age, most people are not willing to do the work necessary and thus become bitter in later years. My hope is that more and more people embrace light and personal growth. This can only illuminate us all. So healing negative emotions, processing painful ones and enjoying more positive emotions are essential to a life of joy. Positive emotions attract positive experiences. Negative emotions simply cause you to attract more and more opportunities for you to deal with them and that usually means unwanted situations that will grab your attention. They’ll occur over and over until you get it too! Painful emotions can either lead to peace and more positive experiences or turn into negative repressed emotions that attract unwanted experiences. Generating more positive emotion requires some work. Knowing and being what you wish to attract comes from a strong positive emotional confidence. In most cases it’s a step by step process to build up to knowingness or beingness. But there are a number of actions that will produce results and can be built upon to live at higher vibrations and thus aid in attracting a great life.
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How to Feel Better: Understand the difference between positive, negative and painful emotions Positive emotions are just that – they raise your vibration, making you happy and attracting positive experiences in your life. Negative emotions are reactions we experience to triggers in our environment or simply recurrent pain. They happen over and over until we address them. Negative emotions can destroy every aspect of our lives when we don’t handle them. Negative emotions block our ability to create through the Law of Attraction. Painful emotions are simply the feelings we have in response to painful circumstances in our lives. They can be incredibly painful, but paradoxically hold beauty and the power to transform. Express negative and painful emotions appropriately Consider therapy when needed. (We all need it at some point in our lives!) Hire a therapist or coach, punch a pillow, cry, scream, run and use the other methods discussed here. Oh, and remember negative emotions are nothing personal, they happen to all of us. Our challenge is to manage them effectively. Call a friend Call someone you know is an excellent listener and will not judge you. Be willing to listen to them as well. Write in your journal until you feel better Really write, write, write, purge, and express yourself fully. Don’t worry about staying within the lines, grammar, punctuation or anything. As a matter of fact, let it rip! Sometimes I do a ceremonial burning after writing when I want to be sure to leave those feelings behind. Look for something to make you feel a little better This might sound simplistic, but when caught up in negative emotions, it’s very easy to only see more negative. When you begin to feel better, look for something that makes you feel better still. Keep generating more and more positive emotion while focusing on what you wish to create. Remember EVERYTHING is out there. Every possibility is available to you in the quantum field around you. You are seeing what you’ve previously focused on. So look for and expect something positive. Set an intention that you will see something positive right in this moment and then focus upon that. Smile Take a few moments to get centered Shift your awareness to now. Breath, remember something positive. Notice the air as it flows in through your nostrils and as you exhale. Do something for you Ask yourself what would make you feel the best in this moment. Then do it! Be creative! Buy flowers, take a bubble bath, draw! Remember, trying to force activity when it doesn’t feel right or you think that’s what you’re “supposed to do” will not create positive results. So make sure it’s just for you. Shift your body into a positive position What body language do you use when you’re feeling happy? Imagine a happy time in your life and assume the body posture of that time. Change the scenery Go somewhere, get outdoors or just turn the lights out and light candles. Listen to music that makes you happy! There’s an abundance of choices. If you’d like something completely new try the indescribably soulful music of my friends Sean Rowe 52 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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and Marco Haber of Mudfunk. Go to Mudfunk.com - samples of tracks are on the website. Sing! This is just for you, so don’t be concerned about how you sound. Feel the joy of emanating music in your own way! Open your heart to a small joy Something in nature, a card from a friend, your pet, your child, the art that surrounds us all, a burning candle – any of these have power to shift your emotion. “Open your heart” means to truly imagine your heart opening. That is a tremendous power we all have. Open your heart to the beauty that is always available. Just now while writing this I stopped to open my heart and sang a song. I feel great. Check out the Sedona Method Release feelings using the Sedona Method Try a Complimentary Coaching Session – Available for a limited time through me, but I promise to have referrals for you when I have reached my limit. Call 518 279 4283 or
[email protected] to schedule.
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Chapter Nine Feelings When one is free of the reactive mode and operating from a clear connection with the Universal Force, feelings provide valuable information from your soul. Feelings are a higher form of emotion that offer guidance from Source. Emotions come from us and are either programmed reactions we believe we have no control over, indicators we learn to objectively witness to help direct us to higher emotions, or they can be responses that we deliberately control in order to work with the Law of Attraction. As we move from emotions that control us to deliberately generating emotions we move closer to being receptive to feeling the guidance that is always there. Feelings come when we move beyond emotions or even when we are so completely overwhelmed by emotions that we give up. Feelings come from our direct connection to Source. They come at times when we can move past identification with ego and be with our truest and highest selves. Feelings then are my way of describing inspiration. A Newly Inspired Approach to Meeting Men Some time ago I needed some guidance after getting caught up in negative emotion. My husband and I had split up and even though the split was best for both of us and I was the one who initiated it, I was devastated when he told me he had a “friend” after just 3 weeks apart. I wondered if he’d ever really loved me, how he could have put so little effort into our relationship and yet take the time to go out and find someone. Did he have any pain at all over our split? I was really caught in a negative spiral. I had to ask for guidance to not become consumed by the anger and pain I felt. I tried to remember how to feel the pain, then let it go. So I worked at it, gave up, was a mess, worked again to move through the pain and tried to generate new positive emotions. I wanted to live what it is I teach here, but I have to admit it was very difficult. Then I was given a wild inspiration that made me laugh hysterically. Working at home, I found it difficult to get out and meet men, so I had been trying out a dating website. Most of the profiles are pretty standard. “I like holding hands while walking barefoot on the beach as the sun goes down…..” “No games please.” “I’m honest, looking for a caring, loving person.” “Let’s be friends first and see where it goes.” “I’m a wonderful, romantic person and I’ll treat you right.” While I’m not sure what my old profile said at the time, it was probably something like: “I’m looking for tall, dark and handsome, and emotionally stable”. Well, it was going OK and I met a few people. But my profile could have been better I guess. Then after yet another bout with letting go of my anger at my ex-husband, this inspiration hit me. It came in what seemed like a huge bolt of information while I was showering. I was to rewrite my profile to say, “I am really angry at my ex, and I want to take it out on you! I am a radical feminist and I hate all men and I want to control you 54 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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and change you into something you’re not. After all, all the problems in the world are your fault.” This inspiration struck me as so funny I had to sit down right there in the shower from laughing so hard. And I admit not everyone finds that funny. But it worked for me. It diverted me from hopelessness. And let me clarify that I think men are wonderful and I absolutely think they are an important half of the human race – as long as they understand we women are to be worshipped. (Only half kidding here!) Oh, and I AM a feminist too and sometimes radical (whatever that means), so I am not in any way disparaging anyone’s views. I was simply poking fun at a silly situation by approaching it in an outrageous way. Men wrote to me and told me I was unique and funny. My friends thought I was a hero or maybe just a nutcase. Now I am not saying this inspiration saved my life, but it gave me a diversion, some lightness and fun and I had a great time with it. I even told my ex-husband who looked at me like I had 3 heads and said he was glad he could help me out. What really happened here was that I acknowledged I had negative feelings, learned from them, allowed them to express themselves and decided to be open to guidance. People often say that if nothing else, laughter is the best medicine. I believe the Universe says that too. At least in this instance it did! Inspiration to Help Mom Feelings have guided me in other ways as well. In one instance, I just knew that my father had passed away before I got the actual news. I could feel it in my heart. This feeling reassured me that there must be more to life and death if I was able to connect with my Dad simply through a knowing in my heart. My knowingness very much helped my mother who was understandably quite distraught. I was able to think clearly and manage most of the arrangements without being clouded by emotion. Somehow having the connection and knowing that there is something more guided me through this period. A Horrible Day Transformed One of the worst days of my life was transformed because I let go and asked for guidance. In retrospect I should have realized something was going to happen, but I was not open to my feelings right away. The band I was singing with essentially threw me out on the same day I signed the papers for my legal separation from my husband. Looking back, I realize that the band was forced into choosing between me – a backup singer who’d been with them for a few months and this member who’d been with them for many years. But that didn’t help my pain when I realized they were not going to stand up for me when he threatened to walk if I stayed. 55 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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I tried to speak to everyone. A couple of the guys were sympathetic and others refused to take my call. Though before the incident everyone agreed this person was a major problem, when push came to shove, they were not there for me. On this day, my status became very clear when I was told “you are very talented and you’ll be able to find another opportunity.” Hanging up the phone I realized I had to drive to the lawyer’s office and sign my official separation agreement later that morning. As you may imagine, I was in intense pain. I wish I could say I just quickly did a few techniques and felt wonderful. But that’s not how it worked. Here I lost my band and my husband within a few hours of each other. I was a mess. I asked for guidance as I got in my car after the lawyer’s visit. “Why is this happening to me?” I wondered. Now, I believe answers come to everyone in different ways. My answer came with a feeling. I could feel that I had some improvements to make in my way of interacting with others. Slowly I began to realize that I’d been trying to get something from both these men that just wasn’t there. My husband would never be able to give me the connection and love I needed. I’d spent years trying to get something from someone who didn’t have it to give. I’d made him wrong for it, when I really should have just moved on. In the case of the guy in the band, he had been a person with problems and I, being a healer, had tried to help. Healers need to remember we cannot change anyone. We cannot really heal anyone either. We can only facilitate the healing. If a person is not willing, we have to move on. I didn’t. I kept trying to help and be supportive. This man was nowhere near ready and lashed out in anger and jealousy. So here I was, armed with this new understanding of a pattern I’d gotten caught up in feeling a sense of relief at my clarity and yet an emotional mess at the same time. To add to this intense weight of the world that I was feeling, I’d also committed to a lunch meeting I’d arranged for some women colleagues and friends. So here was a day that started with a phone conversation telling me I was no longer wanted, followed by signing papers to end my marriage and then a commitment to a lunch. I cried in the car and asked for help. Though I was a mess, I had the feeling I should go to the lunch. Since I was visibly distraught upon arrival, my friends were extremely sympathetic. And here’s where it got interesting: An acquaintance there turned out to be a pivotal part of a grander plan I could not have possibly seen at the time. I’ll always be eternally grateful to her and yet we barely knew each other. She made arrangements for me to meet a professional musician friend of hers. I later auditioned for this friend, got the part in her upcoming show and became the co-producer. The show was the perfect outlet for me. I poured myself into it and found it was the most therapeutic thing I could do. We filled the auditorium to rave reviews.
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So in processing my emotions, honoring my feelings and following my inspiration I was led to a person who introduced me to the right person. I was then able to move from an amateur band to working with true professionals and enjoying a creative escape from my transitioning life situation. People still talk about what a wonderful show that was. The power to follow guidance or feeling is always available. Everyone can develop their ability to feel beyond emotion. Inspiration comes in unique ways for all of us. Hey, emotions happen, but you can choose not to be pushed around by them. You can feel the pain, but not be a victim of it. Move past emotions and feel what your soul has to say. Then watch how the Universe guides you.
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Chapter Ten Actions “In defense of The Lone Ranger and his flying off to fix everything and bang it all into place, he had a good scriptwriter or he never would have caught all those villains. And that's all we need - a new script, and we can catch whatever we want. Everything we live is about our energy, not about our banging, or Hi Ho Silver'ing. So when we plan things from a place of disconnectedness, or out of need as we push against a Don't Want, what are we flowing out? It ain't pure positive Source energy, that's for sure.” Lynn Grabhorn
Have you noticed that the times you were NOT struggling were the times you got the best results? We still think we’re in charge of our lives. HA! The Universe is in charge of your life. You’re best shot at getting results is checking in with your highest self, which is your direct connection to the Universe. Your Source speaks to you through joy. When you feel good that’s the sign. Inspired action is following guidance. Take those steps toward joy and you’re golden. There have been a number of times that I’ve been guided to NOT work, instead I was guided to relax or just clean up my office or my house and PRESTO, I got a call for more work. It’s happened so many times, I’ve become accustomed to it. Its not that I should not work at all, that’s not the lesson in this. But when you take action that you cannot bring your soul, heart and feeling to, it’s a waste of your time and counterproductive. The Universe responds to your energy. The vibration that goes with the work is what brings the results. It’s always much better to go take a walk, read, paint your toe nails or anything that feels good. Take action that feels good! It may be that some actions are difficult to move through and necessary, but by thinking about what the end result is – like a clean toilet for example, you can make the task enjoyable. And then really revel in the joy of that clean toilet! Remember the principle about feeling good? That’s what attracts great things. So feel good about what you wish to manifest. Make it your business to feel good about everything you do! Here are some suggestions to feel good about tasks: Turn down the lights and light candles. Bless the task and or the space. Play games like race against the timer – even setting a timer for one minute increments. Put on a feather boa, cool scarf or tiara to bring your Goddess-self to the task. Men can be Gods too. Play music. Create an accountability group to encourage you. Forcing yourself to do something because you should is working against your soul. It has serious consequences. Develop the right support systems to keep up and motivated. Choose incubation and meditation over uninspired work. Try this: Do nothing for a week except contemplate beauty. Then watch what happens to your work. Let the work flow 58 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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through you. Let the Universe be in charge. Get in the backseat. The Universe will take you to places you had no idea existed. Visualize. Set goals that are lose enough for you to stretch and play and that bring you closer to your Vision. Take actions toward goals and Vision. Consider possibilities you hadn’t considered. Honor your Spirit with every action. Expand, try new things, explore. When I ask myself this question in the morning, “What could I do today that would make me feel great and light and like I’d accomplished so much toward my Vision in life that I’m completely satisfied with myself?”, and then I do that work with joy, the day flows better. Figure out what motivates you personally. I find ways to make work fun, challenge myself, and check in with others regularly. Working at home alone, I notice I need to schedule time with others to avoid feeling isolated. Plus I am continually on the lookout for what motivates me. I need a good balance of connection with others and downtime. I keep the goal for the day and for my life in mind while taking actions. At the end of the day I check in with myself as well. I acknowledge what I’ve done or notice how I may have gotten distracted and resolve to make that better tomorrow. It’s been said that change is a process, not an event. So success requires many, many small steps toward the goal.
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Chapter Eleven Emotional Money History Money is a very emotional topic. We learn what to think about money from our parents. Without reprogramming, we literally cannot handle certain financial (or other) situations because we didn’t build a big enough capacity for wealth. Many of us inherit beliefs through parental conditioning that don’t help us build wealth consciousness. Our parents did the best they could, but without realizing it they instilled attitudes that either helped us or hindered us in our ability to enjoy wealth consciousness. There is nothing personal about the beliefs we inherited, they just happened. The trick is to identify them objectively without judgment, recognize that you have certain tendencies toward particular responses and build your awareness so that when that belief or reaction arises you may more deliberately choose more effective responses. The exercises and material here are designed to help you build your ability to know yourself and to choose more effective responses. And then it takes it a step further and offers you the opportunity to not only choose actions, but to generate more positive emotion and beliefs that will propel you into a more fulfilling life. We are building a muscle to observe objectively our embodied beliefs about it. Awareness allows freedom to choose other beliefs about our own deservedness about having money. Be an objective observer. Your beliefs and attitudes are not personal. But through recognizing them you develop the power to change them to create the life you truly want. Broken Jar Meant More Many teachers ask what your first memory of money is. This is a terrific place to start as it gives much information about your habitual thought patterns about money – and of course your ability to be and generate more wealth. My own first memory of money was when I was about 5 years old. I broke a jar of Vaseline. Back then Vaseline came in a glass jar. I was devastated and wanted my father to save the product, but he insisted on throwing it out because of the broken glass. My parents weren’t upset with me, but the memory illustrated how I took on my parents’ struggle. I assumed the problems my parents were having with money were my fault and decided I could somehow help if I just behaved better and took less for myself. The memory of this one little accident helped me see that I carried a belief that there is a limited amount of money to go around and that I am supposed to have less so that others could have more. (Of course, this belief drew me to social work – but that’s another story.) Obviously, this belief has not been beneficial to my wealth consciousness. So if you haven’t answered the question, I encourage you to consider what your first memory of money is. What does it say about you and your wealth consciousness? Here’s what you may want to shoot for: Separate yourself from your tendency to react out of habit. It’s what is meant by the term: Be the observer of your life and not a 60 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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participant. By recognizing the habit and stepping objectively away from it, abstaining from judgment of yourself you free yourself to decide how you will respond. The reactions and habits you’ve internalized from the journey are not personal. They can really be a drag, I admit, but they are not personal. They’re just what you picked up. By deliberately choosing new behaviors we are freed. It takes work to develop this ability and it’s worth it! In my case, this means that when I find myself trying too hard to take care of other people’s issues (not just money) and forgetting my own, or when I am feeling the slightest bit of fear regarding money that I am reacting and identifying too strongly with an old conditioned belief pattern. That’s when I send a lot of love to that little girl inside me who is so sensitive and needs to be reassured that she is free to play and that the grownups will take care of their problems. I also step back and look objectively at my habits without judgment. I practice being the observer. I allow myself to make mistakes and let that be OK. I get a little stronger every time I do this. There are times when I don’t fall into that pattern at all now. There are also times when I forget and think I am this pattern of lack of money. I can go for days living this old pattern – perhaps because I’m going through some other problems in my life, but even then I pull myself out and say “OK, you choose to be wealth now.” So I do. I fall, I get back up. I fall less. I build my capacity for wealth more each day. It’s wonderful to know I am not that painful state or that problem. It’s just one of those tendencies I can get into when I forget. I can choose not to identify with it anytime I want. And that is freedom. She Personalized Money Years ago I worked in human services and had a very good working relationship with a woman who lived in a rural area, with little means. She had no license to drive and thus relied on her husband for transportation. Stranded out in the country, she had no prospects for a job or training without a way to get around on her own. But even with her limited mobility, she had somehow found a way to get to the Motor Vehicles Dept. and received her drivers permit. One thing that struck me about her was how open she was about the sexual details of her life. To be frank, she told me more than I wished to hear. One day when I was visiting, she again commented on her lack of freedom and wish to get a job. As the story continued she related to me how she was not able to take the 3 hour driver’s training course required to take her drivers test because of the cost. Of course, being in the typical Social Worker role, I encouraged her to work with her husband to cut some corners or find the funds to take the training, which would have cost about $25 at the time. Though I didn’t realize why at the time, it became clear immediately that I had stepped over a line somehow and I felt a chill in the atmosphere until I left. Upon returning to the office I wondered what had happened and decided to give her a call. She told me that I had no right to discuss something so personal as money with her. Now here was a woman who had given me intricate details of her sex life and yet the topic of money was off limits? Hmmmm….. 61 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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This story makes me wonder about how much we really cut ourselves off from the natural abundance the Universe wants for us. Because of conditioning that says money is taboo or too personal a topic we may stop ourselves from learning. We could be developing our ability to have more, learning how to handle and open ourselves up more effectively to the gifts from the Universe. But the first step is awareness about ourselves and our habitual reactions to money. There are so many other limiting beliefs people carry without even realizing how much they disallow joy in their lives. If you feel you’d like to deepen your learning about this, take some time to answer the questions at the end of this report. You may wish to journal about them and also to discuss them with a trusted friend.
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Chapter Twelve Knowingness Knowingness is faith. It means not giving yourself any options, but instead knowing you are or have whatever it is you wish. It means living the thoughts, words, beliefs, emotions, feelings and actions even when the external world is not giving the evidence. It means building spiritual strength. Thoughts, words, actions, belief and emotion when in alignment with the Universe add up to knowingness. Knowingness is simply what you own in your heart, what you know to be true. Profound Knowing I teach a lot of self-help kinds of programs, from stress reduction, conflict resolution, spiritual principles (of course) and others. One thing that I hear often from people is “I KNOW this stuff! I’ve read loads of books on it!” Ah, but how many of them actually OWN it? Being able to recite Shakespeare is not the same as expressing it from a deep and intimate connection with it that has become a part of the person conveying it. One must experience a shift in perspective or a cellular level learning. Said another way, this comes down to full ownership of a truth or knowingness. One knows they fully own something when their first reaction is not to the habitual negative response they’ve always had. Instead, the shift has been made to more positive thoughts and behaviors that produce more fulfilling results. This can (though not always) take time and requires awareness. At first one realizes that the response is not healthy. This often happens after years of bad behavior. At least now personal responsibility is accepted. After awareness, one practices new behaviors. Often there are lots of mistakes until the new behavior is programmed into the cells. When one has that cellular level of learning or has it in their bones, it can be said they now have a knowingness. This knowingness is evidenced by who you are. You are wealth. You are love. You are success. You are fulfillment. It’s your life now as you see it. Regardless of anything that’s occurring in the world. Just decide and know. Take responsibility for thoughts, words, actions, beliefs and emotions while honoring the guidance within that comes from the Universe and you determine your knowingness. Knowingness is your life. And this doesn’t have to be as difficult as it sounds. If I had to monitor every thought, word, action, belief, emotion AND what the Universe wants all the time, I’d go crazy. 63 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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That is not it at all. You can simply follow your joy. The Universe speaks to you through feeling. The Universe wants you to have joy and be joy. It’s always there. The possibility is always available to you. Choose joy. Learning to effectively harness this power to deliberately create is why we are here. We are here to learn to deliberately create, to live brilliantly, as the artists, the Creators that we are. Having money is one means to this freedom – at least at this point in history. Do not focus on money, but focus on flow, responsibility of exchange, fairness, rewarding your joy. Just choose to be wealth.
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Chapter Thirteen My Story As a child I was a big dreamer and always drawn to the questions. Why are we here? What is this all about? Where is God? Being born into a family that seemed to not share my enthusiasm for discovery or my curiosity, I stuffed my questions and tried to fit in. However, I found that it was not only my family, but also my circle of friends and community that seemed to lack an interest in the larger questions. And it wasn’t just the deep questions that a longed to have answered, I had a strong desire to communicate on a deep level with others. What I noticed was that I gave most people a headache! However, hiding from this deep longing inside me didn’t work very well either. I was riddled with insecurity as I felt so completely out of place. I thought something was wrong with me because I was so different. This state of feeling out of place, by the way, is common for people who later become healers and seekers. If you felt on the fringe and perhaps like an outcast growing up, your mission tends to be bigger, and your blooms will be larger as an adult. You are destined to become one of the catalysts for transforming the world. So take heart! Well, I guess its great to hear this now, but it didn’t help me back then. Growing up in the 60’s and early 70’s, the kind of information I was looking for – specifically the answers to why we are here – was just not readily available. (I’ve since discovered that there have always been plenty of books out there on these subjects even since the 1920’s. And before then the truth was held by certain groups and passed along. But not knowing what to look for made me believe that there were no answers). How wonderful that we are now living in this new Renaissance Age with the answers all around us and presented in many ways for all to access! For me the Renaissance started while I was in college. I short blurb in a women’s magazine compelled me to go buy the book Creative Visualization. At that time I wasn’t as in the habit of buying books as I am now. Actually, since my entire budget seemed to go into buying text books, I never bought books for my own personal interest. Plus, not being a great student, I didn’t usually read much beyond my school work. So to make this effort to get this little volume was a big deal. I was awestruck by the possibility of deliberately creating my life. The wisdom in this book completely blew away. It was as if the answers to everything I had been wondering about and craving to know my whole life were suddenly revealed. Having always felt like I never fit in, completely lost in my own body, weird and out of place growing up, this was like finding an oasis after a lifetime in the desert.
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Though reading Creative Visualization was life changing for me on some levels, I was just not ready to apply the material. Hey, being a typical 20 something, the idea of growth or ego eradication was not even a consideration. I just figured since I did the exercises in my head, I’d be fine and I’d find eternal riches on earth. You see, I got the impression that God was a gigantic vending machine in the sky and nothing was required on my part in terms of personal growth. Was I ever wrong on that! Being as unconscious as I was at the time, when I was hit with some difficulties in my life I became very angry. Why wasn’t this stuff working? What was I doing wrong? I couldn’t fathom the possibility that there was no God, but I was sure mad at her. Looking back I just wasn’t ready to become the deliberate creator of my life. It would have required too much self-awareness and introspection. And I was just too addicted to being a victim. It is so much easier to blame the external world! So I put the Laws of Attraction aside for a number of years and concentrated on partying. While I was fortunate that I did not develop a long term substance abuse addiction, I was certainly having problems with alcohol. There were times when I had black outs and did some things I’m not proud of. I was running away from my utter loneliness even though I was surrounded by people. I felt like no one on the planet had any idea of who I was or cared to connect with me. So I would drink in order to let down my guard so I could talk and try to connect with people. Looking back on it, I was simply desperate to be known to someone and to share on a deep spiritual level with others. It just didn’t occur to me that I’d need to deliberately move toward the right people or move through the void in my soul in order to find that. Unfortunately, the people I drank with didn’t have answers for me and it caused me severe depression. Not that they were bad people, they just weren’t right for me and didn’t share my longing to know. So basically, I would wake up wondering where I was going with all this and who on earth was there that I could connect with. This lack of connection included my boyfriend, who later became my husband. Because I didn’t recognize that I could have more, I settled for this kind of relationship. Not that he was a bad person, but our relationship was entirely devoid of connection. Having never had a real connection I thought it didn’t exist. We did laugh and share a sense of humor, which I absolutely value and require in a relationship to this day. But the connection piece is imperative and was, unfortunately, missing. I felt completely alone and wanted and needed a companion. I settled for a man who could not know my heart and was not able to share his. Through all this, life happened as it does. Following the natural progression of things, I worked in human services as a substance abuse counselor (yeah, I know, the irony of it all!), slowed down on the partying and took a break to have kids. I took part time work as a social worker so my main focus could be my sons. When the kids entered school, I became PTA President because I thought that’s what I should do. And, as often happens when we do things we feel obliged to do, I found I did not fit in there at all. 66 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Then when I was considering going back to full time work, I discovered Coach University and realized I’d turned my back on my soul all these years. Here was the information I had neglected to explore for so long! It was finally here for me again! I immersed myself in the material, joined the local coaches groups and even become a president. Finally, here were people who were of like mind! However, another blow was to come my way on my journey. I continued to feel like an outcast with these people as well. My God, if I didn’t fit in here, where would I ever feel that sense of belonging? Poor self-esteem and low grade depression were becoming constant companions in my life even though I felt like I was doing everything right by following my passion. But in retrospect, what I was doing was repeating the same belief pattern again, even unconsciously, how was I to ever expect anything but the same results? I still believed I didn’t fit in! So I stuffed those largely unconscious feelings of unworthiness and proceeded to work at building my business. Of course, it continued to be a struggle. All the while I understood and practiced the importance of my own personal and spiritual growth to my work as a human being and a coach. I worked with a number of coaches and studied the material Coach University offered. I read books and took training programs that helped me to grow and felt I made a lot of progress. I had moments of bliss occasionally. In many areas of my life, I learned what deliberately taking responsibility and handling my need for connection meant. Then I found and used Wayne Dyer’s Japa Meditation to build my knowingness for selling our unmarketable house. I wrote in more detail about that in Chapter 6. I spent a lot of years feeling lonely and frustrated that other people could not know me. And I admit I can still tend to get that way. It’s called perpetuating a limiting belief consciously or just plain self-pity. Of course, when I was a child I had a right to be given the connection and love I desired, but at the same time, my parents did the best they could. This programmed reaction I developed to the world only set me up for more isolation. I just kept repeating what I learned as a kid. I was a healer and seeker and yes it made me feel different. But I turned it into a reason to excuse my inaction regarding doing anything to change it. It was simply ego finding another way to keep me stuck. But now I realize I was feeling pretty sorry for myself! I had to learn to trust my connection to Source entirely. We don’t ever have to be alone, there is love and light surrounding us all the time when we let go and allow it. I learned that I was looking to others for reassurance and that was something no one could ever give me. My ex-husband could never have given it to me, people of like mind could never give it to me, no one ever could. The only place I could ever receive that was from myself and from my connection to Source. 67 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Now this is a paradox as we do need each other and we do have to take actions to bring people into our lives, but the first responsibility is to our connection to Source. That means spending time with people who make you feel more connected. That means never stopping pursuing the things that are in alignment with your Soul and spending time only with people who are allies in that journey. The thing is, we’re not here to only receive love and approval from others. We’re here to give it. We’re here to be love first. We’re here to learn to be in love with life in all the good times and the bad. And that love flows from connection to Source. Boy, when I get that things go MUCH better. I wish I could say I do this ALL the time. But I can say that when I do, life works very well. My light attracts circumstances and people that are right for me and I feel great. And, yes, it’s often true that I work sometimes to have that light on even when others don’t get it, even people I love. Sometimes I have to move on in pursuit of my journey when they cannot be a part of it and sometimes it’s painful. But that’s pain and not negative emotion. Our first and most important relationship in this world and beyond is our relationship with Spirit. Feel good, let light shine through and be that.
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Chapter Fourteen Bonus Articles, worksheets, exercises and meditations to Strengthen Knowingness So by now, it should be clear that who you are, and not what you do is the key. I’ve included the following bonus articles, worksheets, meditations and exercises. These will give you lots of opportunities to build your spiritual strength and allow more wealth consciousness into your life. Have fun and feel free to call or write and tell me how you’re doing! All have been written by me with the exception of the Meditation to Break Addiction to Failure by Lynn Grabhorn. Don’t approach this as a should or must! Have fun, go through it methodically, if that’s your style, just do a little or some or all, just enjoy the process or freeing yourself from limitations!
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MONEY SECTION INCLUDES ARTICLES, QUESTIONS TO JOURNAL AND PONDER AND PROSPERITY READINESS TEST®
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Principles of Money and Belief #
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Awareness is the first step. Awareness about your attitudes regarding money will open the way for new, more life enhancing learning. Rebuild beliefs. Once you’ve developed good awareness about beliefs, decide what beliefs would serve you. Practice them in conversation, journaling and every area of your life. Note when the old beliefs emerge and see that as your cue to reassign new ones. Savings leads to attraction of more money. What we focus on gains life. If we focus on lack, that’s what we get. By working toward savings, we create space for freedom and opportunity. This is simply a very powerful action we can take to FOCUS our energy on prosperity. Focus. Now take it a step further. Aside from savings, take action to create more. Combine those actions with belief. Recognize every belief for what it is – limiting or freeing and emphasize the beliefs that do not create what you want. This does take work, support and discipline. Its worth every bit of effort. Prosperity in your Heart, precedes prosperity in the physical world. Have an attitude of gratitude. Yes, take the steps toward creating wealth, but recognize and appreciate the process along the way. Clarity brings Fulfillment. Taking the time to clarify what it is you want from money draws you out of the rat race and into creating the life that’s perfect for you. Lack of money is evidence of fear. Where are you putting your attention? The Universe is the source of unlimited Abundance. The Universe is a catchall phrase for all is one. Thus, the oneness we are a part of is part of us and brings us what we’re ready for. So why not get ready? Investment in personal growth brings more. Here’s the “how” for preparing yourself to receive more. Grow to allow more abundance into your life. There’s a learning curve, but it’s worth it. Surround yourself with a success community. Be sure everyone you associate with supports these concepts of the abundance mentality. Upgrade friends, get into a Master Mind Group, join forwarding thinking organizations and work with a coach. By working on the inside and the outside, you’ll achieve a prosperous life.
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Questions to ponder: What do you notice about your feelings around expensive things or rich people?
What’s your first memory of money?
What were your father’s beliefs about money?
What were your mother’s beliefs about money?
What do you imagine your close friends and relatives would think if you “made it” financially? ___________________________________________________________ Homework: Keep a journal of how you feel and think about the things you want. For example: Where do your thoughts, feelings go when you are in need of something or when you see something you want? ___________________________________________________________ Who influenced your ideas about money?
What were the messages you received?
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Was it OK to talk about it?
Can you say more about that?
What was expected of you as a child? What did you learn about money?
________________________________________________________________________ Exercise: Write everything you’re grateful for at the end of each day ________________________________________________________________________ Now what about attitudes, how do they affect our ability to make money?
What will having more money give you that you don't have now?
What deeper needs or desires would be satisfied if you had a large sum of money?
Would you have more security, freedom, simplicity?
Would you be able to stop some activities that you don't enjoy?
Exercise: 73 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Notice and fully experience 5 wealth experiences every week! Write them down where you can see them throughout the week – I write them in my appointment book so I see them regularly.
Would you be able to start doing some things that you're not doing now?
What higher qualities, such as happiness, peace, self-esteem, well-being are you seeking?
If you are seeking a specific item, what needs would this item satisfy?
How can you begin to experience this essence now?
What specific things can you do now to bring this feeling into your life now?
Exercise: Write what you want in present tense 5 times a day. Notice how that makes you feel, then acknowledge and thank any resistance you may notice and send it love. Be sure to send the love while also fully embracing the new feeling of success.
What has come to the surface for you as a result of this material?
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What do you need to continue to work on?
How will you continue to build your prosperity or wealth consciousness?
What areas of your life require more gratitude?
What are you grateful for?
Exercise: Breath, delight in this moment, delight in your eyes for allowing you to read these words, the surface that is holding your body, your skin, hair, everything about you and everything around you.
What’s the essence of money for you?
What will having more money give you that you don't have now?
What deeper needs or desires would be satisfied if you had a large sum of money?
Would you have more security, freedom, simplicity?
Would you be able to stop some activities that you don't enjoy? 75 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Exercise: Schedule something wonderful for yourself this week. The world is a gigantic work of art, find something that allows you to experience it for yourself fully, go out in nature, enjoy music, art, the diversity of life.
Would you be able to start doing some things that you're not doing now?
What higher qualities, such as happiness, peace, self-esteem, well-being are you seeking?
If you are seeking a specific item, what needs would this item satisfy?
How can you begin to experience this essence now?
What specific things can you do now to bring this feeling into your life now?
76 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Prosperity Readiness Test® This test requires some deliberate awareness over a week’s time to assess true feelings and readiness for prosperity. Upon completion and evaluation you’ll be provided with an assessment of your strengths and weaknesses and with some ideas for building your wealth consciousness. Please plan on giving this your conscious consideration by answering the questions daily for a week. At the end of the week, fax or e-mail the test to Gerri Ratigan, Life Coach, for an evaluation. Note this is not a scientific or standardized test, but completely subjective. See information below. #
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True or False: _____My friends are mostly of a prosperous money mentality _____I pay my bills on time at least 90% of the time _____I have a savings account that makes me feel comfortable _____I feel I deserve to be paid well _____I earn more money than I spend _____I have everything I need to live well _____There are few things I own that are in need of repair
Language: What do you say about money? Everyday this week, notice what you automatically said to others about money in any and every context. Evaluate at the end of the day and write in a P(positive) or N(negative). You may want to make some notes here as well.: _____Day 1 _____Day 5 _____Day 2 _____Day 6 _____Day 3 _____Day 7 _____Day 4
My first thought when I see a high priced class or program that I want to take is (check one only): _____Oh, geez forget it, I can’t afford that. _____ Let me look into this further, this might be worth my time and money. _____ Wow, where do I sign up? #
Feelings Section – Use the following numbers to help identify feelings that correspond to questions for the remainder of the test. 1. despair 5. pessimism 2. jealousy 6. hopefulness 3. anger 7. positive expectation 77 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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8. joy
Imagine: There’s a high end item you’ve been wanting for some time. It can be a piece of jewelry, car, furniture, etc. Currently, you do not have a plan or the funds to purchase it. Got it? Now you see that a neighbor has purchased the exact item. What is your first feeling? What is your lingering feeling about this? first feeling_____ lingering feeling day 1___ day 2___ day 3___ day 4___ day 5___ day 6___ day 7___ Remember: (This question requires at least 20 minutes of your time continuously, so plan accordingly). What were your parents’ general feelings about money? Spend 10 minutes journaling about this question. Just write continuously for the 10 minutes even if you have to write that you don’t know what to write. Now immediately rate the feeling you have using the 1-8 scale above. first immediate feeling_____ lingering feeling day 1___ day 2___ day 3___ day 4___ day 5___ day 6___ day 7___ Assess: Notice your feelings about money. Assess your mood throughout the day for a week. Be honest about any and every negative feeling. Be objective and look at this from an outsider’s perspective, as if you were not yourself but another person observing. No judgment allowed. Just notice. Now go through the day and put aside these approximate times to rate your general feelings using the above scale: Day 1) upon waking____ after breakfast ____ after lunch_____ after dinner_____ before bed_____ Day 2) upon waking____ after breakfast ____ after lunch_____ after dinner_____ before bed_____ Day 3) upon waking____ after breakfast ____ after lunch_____ after dinner_____ before bed_____ Day 4) upon waking____ after breakfast ____ after lunch_____ after dinner_____ before bed_____ Day 5) upon waking____ after breakfast ____ after lunch_____ after dinner_____ before bed_____ Day 6) upon waking____ after breakfast ____ after lunch_____ 78 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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after dinner_____ before bed_____ Day 7) upon waking____ after breakfast ____ after lunch_____ after dinner_____ before bed_____ #
Triggers: What feelings do you predominantly experience while engaging in the following activities? Put in NA if not applicable Paying bills:_____ Grocery shopping:_____ Shopping for special items:_____ Donating to charities:_____ Receiving a paycheck:_____ Saving money:_____ Giving money to children:_____ A friend talks about how he’s struggling with money:_____ A friend talks about how well she’s doing financially:_____
Test developed by Gerri Ratigan, Life Coach, 518 279 4283, www.coachgerri.com,
[email protected]. Contact me for a free evaluation….
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MANIFESTATION AND SPIRITUALITY SECTION INCLUDES ARTICLES, MANIFESTATION RATING TEST®, AND MEDITATION
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Lighten up on the Spiritual Growth The “New Age” path has some wonderful things to offer, but can we lighten it up a little? A basic concept is that we create our reality. And that is true. We do create our own reality. But this has been twisted to such an extent that it has harmed people. To blame people for their bad luck, misfortune, and pain is missing much of the texture of this process of living we are engaged in here on earth. And it can even be abusive. Suggesting that a person has something to learn from tragedy can be in extraordinarily bad taste when done at inopportune moments. We tend to forget that this life is a rich learning experience. We’d never blame children for being in their process of growth and discovery. What if we allowed ourselves the room to make mistakes too? When I do a workshop I often tell people to make a bunch of mistakes so they can learn more. I always notice a sense of relief from the people in room when I suggest that. Hey, we bumble around and mess up all the time! Life is about building the capacity for spiritual strength and learning to love ourselves in the process. We are here to experience ourselves, the possibility for a richer life, to increase our ability to be the deliberate creators of our lives. This takes time, learning from mistakes, growth and being with the whole process of life in general. Most of us have not evolved to the level of Ghandi who changed an entire nation by standing firmly in his peace. Few of us are ready to heal through the power of love like Jesus did. Yet these powers lie dormant in each of us. We can work toward that kind of light while accepting ourselves at exactly the place that we are. We can learn to build the kind of lives we wish to have over time. We can learn how to live from our passion more often. We can be grateful. These things are within our power now. There’s an old saying “Change is a process, not an event”. We all deserve the time and space to be in our process.
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The Subtleties of Gratitude vs. Acceptance Most people are familiar with the idea that maintaining a positive attitude helps in building a great life, and I couldn’t agree more. To focus attention on the wonderful aspects of life just makes sense and magnifies those gifts further. However, there’s a dark side to this that became clearer to me recently. In working with positive affirmations, I noticed that I was also casting a shadow on the stuff that’s not OK in my life. In listing all the wonderful things I was grateful for, I had been subtly discriminating against some of the not so great things in my life. And, if I’m honest with myself I recognize that I’ve created those undesirable things, too. My rejection was only strengthening negative power in my life. Whoops! I needed to be reminded to make friends with and love every aspect of myself and my life. I needed to accept it all. Acceptance is recognition, giving those things voice, learning from them. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation and it certainly doesn’t mean everything is rosy. I accept that I still have healing to do over my divorce and that it will take some time. I accept that I have a negative side which leads me to sometimes take things personally or compare myself to others. When that negative side shows up, I ask myself what it means to be accepting and light. Acceptance thrives with a light approach and objectivity in order to convey its message. Acceptance doesn’t mean I have to live with that ugly living room carpet for the rest of my life. The Universe is simply saying, “Well, here’s the sum of your choices to this point.” So I’ve committed to practicing lightness and acceptance when I can. It’s a heck of a lot more constructive than railing against the indignities of it all. As much as possible, I accept this gift of imperfection called life and it is perfect for me now.
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Attachment If you want it bad enough and work hard enough, you’ll get it. But if you need it too badly you’ll drive it away. Argh!!!! Have you done any study in metaphysics? Have you been in love? Does this sound familiar? This is the concept of attachment. Let it go. Be in the moment. Be what it is you want. Practice non-attachment. Well, I can tell you, this has been very difficult for me. And I think I’ve finally gotten past it. Here’s how: I wanted something really badly. I worked very hard on it and started to believe that all this stuff was bunk! Then I let it go. Trusted. Said, OK, I’m going to do my best and just let that be what I need to be. Trust. I moved on. And low and behold. Results from the original effort. So what do I do this time? How about continuing to trust, do my absolute best with the sole purpose of doing my best and let the results come as they may. Just pursue things I enjoy in my life and be light. No attachment. Just trust. Hmmm. Its working.
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Manifestation Rating Test® How effectively do you live the Law of Attraction? Take this test to find out. On a scale from one to 10, how would you rate the following? _____I understand the Law of Attraction _____I start most days by setting intentions for the day _____I have a very supportive community to help me stay in a high vibration _____I regularly take breaks to reconnect with my spirit _____I feel enthusiastic about life most of the time _____I used to be in awe of how the Universe answered my requests, now I see it as routine _____Most of the people I hang with understand the Law of Attraction _____Most of the people I hang with are very supportive of me _____I know I always have everything I need, even when it does not appear that way in the physical world _____I know what I need, when I need it and have a number of people, activities, books and resources to help me get into a high vibration when I need to recharge ____ TOTAL SCORE 0 – 20 = Don’t worry, most people score very poorly at first. This is a good place to start. Just take care to learn and grow so you avoid being stuck repeating the same patterns. 21 – 40 = You are beginning to notice glimpses of connection with the Universe but probably shrug them off as flukes. 41 – 60 = You have a sense that there is no such thing as luck and that you have some say in your life. 61 – 80 = There are times when you feel that everything has some purpose and you can align yourself with that.
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81 – 90 = You see some amazing things taking shape in your life and are on a path to Deliberately Create even more effectively. 91 – 100= Congratulations, you are aligned with the Universe most of the time. Some ways to improve your score are to read books on the subject, include only positive people in your life, hire a coach and join the Manifestation Project. You’ll see profound improvement. Call 518 279 4283 or go to www.manifestationproject.com for information.
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Manifestation Meditation (This meditation is used at Manifestation Project Meetings. You may wish to take turns reading this to a friend or read to yourself into a tape recorder. Soothing background music could be a great enhancement as well.) The purpose: To heal blockages to the natural ability to manifest. To introduce, acquaint, feel, know, and build the capacity to be in the light or spirit body that is always aligned with the Universe and able to easily manifest desires. Sit in a comfortable upright position. Notice your body being supported by the chair. Feel your feet on the floor and your body in the chair. Pause Allow your body to fully connect with the chair and the floor. Relax totally into the chair. Trust the chair. Allow your body to completely relax. Pause Now focus your attention on your shoulders. Notice and be with any tension that you may have been carrying there. Feel your shoulder muscles letting go. Release any tension and any sense of holding on that you may have been carrying in your shoulders. Now let the very last bit of tension dissolve away completely. Pause Direct your attention now to your face and head. Notice any tension you may be holding in your jaw, and allow it to dissolve away now. Relax your jaw. Feel your jaw relax completely. Pause You can decide to loosen and relax your jaw at any time you wish to feel more centered. Now direct your attention to your eyes. The muscles around your eyes are becoming more fully and deeply relaxed. Any tension or emotion you may have been carrying there is dissolving away. You are releasing tension. Your eyes are completely relaxed. Pause Take a moment now to notice the sensations in your head and face. Are there any last bits of tension? If so, focus your attention fully on that tension. Notice what happens when you simply give your peaceful attention to physical concerns. They tend to lose 86 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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their grip on you. Do this now. Feel the tension melting away. Feel your entire head completely relaxed. Pause Direct your attention now to your hands. Feel your hands. Be the observer of your hands. Allow your hands to release any tension or tightness. Your hands are completely relaxed and open to the energy that surrounds you. Pause And now allow any remaining tension to dissolve away from any place in your body that may be holding on. Allow yourself to completely release any remaining tension. Feel your body becoming more and more relaxed. Extend this relaxation throughout every part of your body. Feel the serenity and peace envelope you completely. You are completely safe, relaxed and comfortable. Pause Now take a few moments to notice your breath. Feel your breath as your inhale, as the air fills your lungs and as your abdomen expands. Pause If you find yourself distracted by thinking, by worldly concerns, return now to your breath. Pause Throughout your life, in your mistakes and your accomplishments, you are always perfect. Practice being gentle with yourself. Practice non-judgment with yourself and with everyone around you. Notice your participation with the dance of the Universal Force through your breath. Pause In every moment throughout your life you are partaking in the love and flow of the Universe through your breath. In any moment you can return to your breath. Your breath is shared with everything that is. We all partake of this breath. We are all connected through breath. Simply notice. Allow yourself to contemplate and be with this oneness with everything in the Universe. Pause Feel light radiating through your body. Be aware of any obstacles to this light. The light seeks only to channel source energy freely through your body. 87 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Pause Be the observer of your life. Know that obstacles are simply opportunities for your growth. Lovingly focus on any obstacles or tightness that you may notice within your body. Pause Your ability to manifest is directly related to your healing. Greater healing builds a greater life flowing with the joy of health, love and prosperity. Your joy manifests as you allow it. Pause What do you notice about the flow of energy through your body? Do you notice any blockages or tightness? Is the energy slower or faster in some places? Pause Are you visualizing, sensing or hearing any messages about energy? What does this have to teach you? Take a few moments now to be with the wisdom of your body, mind and spirit. Take a 2 minute pause Slowly begin to return your attention to the room. Thank the light of the Universe and the wisdom of your body. You may wish to write about any insights you may have received. We will take some quiet time to write or reflect as you gradually shift your attention to the room taking the time you need to process any insights you may have received. When you are ready open your eyes or stop writing…………….
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PERSONAL FOUNDATION AND SELF-CARE INCLUDES ARTICLES, WORKSHEETS: REWRITING YOUR SCRIPT, BOUNDARIES, TOLERATIONS
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Joy to the World Starts with YOU! Is your schedule anything like mine during the holidays? There are school concerts, parties, shopping, decorating, wrapping, baking and more. With all this extra stuff going on its easy to become stressed and loose touch with the meaning of the season. Well, in the spirit of holiday giving, I’d like to offer up these suggestions to help you enjoy peace in your heart and spread more joy to the world. • Peace, joy and love start with you. Period. If you don’t have it on the inside, no amount of shopping, decorating, wrapping, gift giving, baking or self-sacrificing activity will do a thing for you. As a matter of fact, self-sacrifice will just make you feel worse. • Self-sacrifice is not the same as joyful giving. The difference is in who you are when you give. Do you find you are so fulfilled from within that you naturally want to share your many blessings? Are you able to give with no thought of reciprocity? Don’t feel too badly if you aren’t there yet. If you want to be a joyful giver, start with self-care first! • Give up pleasing your relatives, friends and any unrealistic ideal you’ve adopted about what is supposed to be a perfect holiday. We cannot make ourselves want to do anything. Make the holiday perfect for you. • Replace the word cope – as in coping with holiday stress – with have. Cope conjures up the victim mentality. When people use the word cope they imply that they are not responsible for what is happening. For example: “I’ve been coping with the extra responsibilities of Christmas”. Instead say, “I have extra responsibility for Christmas”. The second sentence projects a person who is better able to handle whatever comes her way AND only takes on what will work for her. • Set good boundaries with others. Be willing to say no to draining friends, activities and anything else that doesn’t feel good. For a free worksheet on Boundaries, e-mail me at
[email protected] or call 518 279-4283. • Establish a Goal that Inspires Passion. Most people have seen this advice before in general success material. Those who establish goals are much more likely to be successful. So how about using goals to make the holidays work for you? Some ideas for great holiday goals could be: *to share joy with your children a few minutes every day, *to feel light and joyful 50% more, *to really be present and ready to listen well to one person at each holiday event. The only requirement for the goal is that it is something that inspires passion in you! • Get Support. We all need help from each other. Create time for friends who make you feel great! • Take extra special care of you! Invest in yourself. There are all kinds of selfimprovement classes, relaxation and pampering services available. Try massage, reiki, yoga, Tai Chi, a facial or coaching. You’ll be a joy to the world! • Include spiritual practice every day. Whether you meditate, pray or simply savor silence, use the time to express gratitude for all that you have and be open to guidance. The results can be miraculous. 90 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Rewriting Your Script Unfortunately, most of us have negative scripts or messages we deliver to ourselves, without even realizing it. This exercise will help you to become more conscious of how to limit your negative messages and help you to rewrite your script to allow a more positive future for yourself. Write some of your messages and rewrite them in a more positive way. For example: Negative “I’m tired of not being appreciated at this job, I think I’ll just quit” (the negative message to yourself is that you cannot do anything about the situation) Positive “I can communicate my concerns to others at work and make my situation better wherever I go” Negative “No matter what I do, I can’t get ahead financially” Positive “There are lots of things I can do to get ahead, like get more training, take on another job, cut extras, lay out a long term plan, and save” Some points to remember: • • • • •
Always rewrite to recognize your value and potential. Stretch your view of yourself a bit - don’t make it unbelievable but do envision more for yourself than you had previously. Be careful not to envision yourself as superior to others - your value is not dependent on other’s being inferior. Don’t try to force the circumstances of the situation - that’s up to a Higher Power. Give yourself a break - judgment against yourself for having negative messages would be a bit ironic - don’t you think?
Negative Message _____________________________________________________________________ Positive Message _____________________________________________________________________ 91 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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Page Two Rewriting Your Script Negative Message _____________________________________________________________________ Positive Message _____________________________________________________________________
Negative Message _____________________________________________________________________ Positive Message _____________________________________________________________________
Negative Message _____________________________________________________________________ Positive Message _____________________________________________________________________
You’ll probably notice that as you recognize these messages you’ll become conscious of many more. They are very subtle and tend to keep you stuck. The more you work with replacing them with positive messages, the more easily you will meet with success and at the same time experience a lighter perspective on life. This work is definitely worth the effort.
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Mind Clutter Wouldn’t it be great to focus more energy toward your success? What if you could eliminate doubts and mental distractions? Mind Clutter is that chatter we are all prone to that distracts from experiencing your greatest success. It hinders your ability to know and experience what it is you truly want in life, diminishes your confidence, and creates stress. While it takes vigilance to diminish its appearance in your life, the following tips can help greatly. Its also a good idea to enlist the support of a strong friend who’s committed to your success and think about working with a coach to help you over your personal hurdles. Wherever possible these tips will ask you to drop energy draining habits rather than add more to your to do list. We want to free you up to experience a more effortless and fun journey! • Simply Observe - When those self-defeating thoughts or temptations to go off on unproductive tangents surface, take the time to notice them. Give yourself 24 hours to note these thoughts without any judgment toward yourself or anyone. Observe is the operative word. • Impersonalize it - As they say, why add insult to injury? Your energy is depleted enough. When you find yourself feeling guilty (rarely a productive emotion), say to yourself “Oh, isn’t that interesting that I’m feeling that way?” • Be in the Moment - Much of the mind clutter we experience comes from being focused on the future or the past. The only moment you have is now. When you find yourself reliving past experiences or fantasizing about a moment in the future when XYZ happens and THEN you’ll finally be happy, remind yourself to adjust your focus to the present. • Stand Guard of Your Own Thinking - Living a life that maximizes mental energy takes discipline - not extra time. Screen out self-defeating thoughts by being aware on a continuous basis. • Practice Sequential Focus - There’s a lot of hype about multi-tasking these days. The truth is that at best it dilutes your effectiveness, at worst is can cost you business. The best clients demand your full attention. When there are multiple tasks, prioritize them and then give your best to each. • Take Charge of Your Mind - Do you agree that physical conditioning would help you manage an obstacle more effectively? Would preparation improve your performance for an important speech? Mind Quieting exercises do the same for your focus. Some examples include meditation, controlled breathing, yoga, and Tai Chi. Work to apply these techniques on a continuous basis and you’ll harness more energy to enjoy the life that is right for you!
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Boundaries Many people, especially women, were trained that giving to others is the most important and perhaps even the only useful activity they could engage in. Unfortunately, we were usually not taught that our well of generosity could easily run dry causing resentment, health problems and many other crises. The good news is that the importance of self-love and personal care is becoming more popularly accepted. We cannot give what we don’t have. It’s important to indulge in personally rewarding pursuits. That’s why people are starting to pay attention to the idea of self-care. But there is a learning curve as we change old habits and allow healthier habits to become a part of us. Let yourself be in the process of growth and change. Recognize that it takes time and effort to stretch. To allow yourself the space to grow you must learn to set clear boundaries. The following exercise will help you develop better boundaries with others, which will bring better relationships and a stronger you. ESTABLISHING YOUR BOUNDARIES Boundaries are spoken and unspoken messages we give to others to draw protective space around ourselves. When boundaries are strong and clear we are more effective. When boundaries are weak or vague it can cost us money, time, relationships, energy and peace. Take a moment now to write down some areas in which your boundaries are lacking. The more honest you can be with yourself, the better results you will realize from this exercise. 1.______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2.______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 3.______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 4.______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________
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Page Two Boundaries 5.______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Now that you have a better idea of the boundary violations you are experiencing, its time to implement a plan to protect yourself. Here is an outline to communicate your concerns: 1. State your concerns clearly, before the violation occurs, and be complete and nonjudgmental - start by assuming the person is not being intentionally mean. 2. Decide on a consequence or action you’ll take if and when the problem recurs (i.e., “I will be asking you to leave if you talk to me that way again”). Communicate this during your talk with the person. 3. Be ready to follow through as planned!!! WARNING – THIS IS WHERE MOST PEOPLE FAIL THEMSELVES!!!! FORGIVE YOURSELF WHEN YOU DO AND KEEP AT IT!!! 4. Work with a coach for additional support.
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Tolerations People tolerate a lot! We’re taught not to complain, be nice, don’t make things harder than they already are, etc. By tolerating, we squash our creative energy, and settle for mediocre lives. We can do better. The truth is, tolerating is an expensive use of your energy. Let’s harness that energy to work toward a life that expresses your values and brings you fulfillment both professionally and personally. List 15 tolerations below and make a commitment to yourself to handle them. Toleration
My commitment to myself (do, delete, or delegate)
1.______________________________________________________________________ 2.______________________________________________________________________ 3.______________________________________________________________________ 4.______________________________________________________________________ 5.______________________________________________________________________ 6.______________________________________________________________________ 7.______________________________________________________________________ 8.______________________________________________________________________ 9.______________________________________________________________________ 10._____________________________________________________________________ 11._____________________________________________________________________ 12._____________________________________________________________________ 13._____________________________________________________________________ 14._____________________________________________________________________ 15._____________________________________________________________________
Adapted from Coach University Materials.
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SUCCESS SECTION INCLUDES ARTICLES, HOW’S YOUR SUCCESS COMMUNITY TEST, MEDITATION TO BREAK ADDICTION TO FAILURE
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Focus for Success Thoughts, words and actions supported by passion, directed at a particular goal, equal success. The formula is easy, yet most of us don’t use these three processes effectively. We get off track with lots of distractions and do not direct ourselves purposefully toward what we want. How do you stay on track? Here’s a comprehensive checklist to maintain your work toward your dreams. (Please note easy is not necessarily simple and fast!): *Take care of the junk in your life. Get rid of clutter, people who aren’t supportive, wasteful activities, anything that doesn’t enhance your life! *Make your life the priority. *Get a supportive community. *Include spirituality. *Simplify. *Get therapy if you need it. *Decide where your integrity is not in alignment and fix it. *Get a coach to help. *Decide what your vision is and use thoughts, words and actions to create a life you love. ONE OTHER NOTE: You will always get results when working toward a dream always. The issue for many people though, is that they are presented with what they need to work on personally in order to handle it.
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Extraordinary Success for Ordinary People by Gerri Ratigan, Business, Personal and Creativity Coach Most of us don’t start our careers or businesses with connections in high places, unlimited money and a magnanimous personality, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be extraordinarily successful. You can and will create the success you desire, if you are willing to work for it. Experience a significant increase in your success by following the suggestions below. Establish a Goal that Inspires Passion If you’ve read other success material before, you’ve probably seen this suggestion. That’s because it works! There will be plenty of distractions, problems and crises in your life and it is extremely easy to loose focus. Don’t fall for the excuse that you don’t have time. Choose your direction or you’ll run out of time. A goal that’s meaningful provides momentum during difficult periods and helps you choose tasks that will get you closer to your goal. The right goals can make the difference between life on your terms and life on a treadmill. Get Support The days of rugged individualism are long gone. We need each other for support, referrals, contacts, introductions, and to learn and grow. There are three kinds of relationships you should foster for success: 1) personal relationships provide the foundation for your success and give meaning, 2) business relationships provide contacts and opportunity for learning, and 3) mentoring or coaching relationships provide direction, perspective, help develop skills and improve confidence. Learn from Mistakes Sounds easy doesn’t it? But the truth is, most people spend far too much time repeating the same mistakes. To be sure you don’t spend time repeating, ask yourself what it was about this mistake that was different. How were you different? Who were the people involved? What was your approach? What needs to change? Was there anything that went well? What was it? How can you maximize that? Is it a total failure or are there things that can be done differently for different results? Then readjust your plan with your new knowledge. Its also important to get a different perspective. Ask trusted friends or your coach what they see. We can see our own shortcomings about as easily as we can see our own noses. Ask for a mirror. Gather Your Energy Are you wasting energy on: stagnant or draining relationships, putting out fires, physical or emotional clutter, making excuses for your poor health habits, negative thoughts, or ineffective time management? Learn to establish good boundaries. Create systems that 99 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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work for you and bring you closer to your goals. Put your physical and emotional health at the very top of your list. I have three free papers that will help you gather your energy. Send e-mail to:
[email protected] asking for any of the following: *Establishing Your Boundaries, *Time Use Continuum or *Key Points for a Successful Business that Serves YOUR Life! Or send a stamped, self-addressed #10 envelope with $1 for postage and handling to: Gerri Ratigan, 29 Hakes Road, Troy, NY – be sure to specify which report you’d like. Learn from Others Think about people you admire. What is it that you admire about them specifically? What is it that they have that you want for yourself? Now find out how they achieved their goals. Read their biographies. If it’s a person you know, ask to talk in person. Find out how they’ve achieved what you admire. People love to be asked about themselves and they love to offer advice. Know Yourself Knowing yourself will obviously go a long way in helping you create the goals that are right for you. There’s a fallacy out there that we know ourselves, yet life is a constant process of discovering who we are and what our strengths and weaknesses are. Have you asked yourself recently what your greatest assets are? What about your weaknesses? What brings you joy? What are your personal challenges regarding success? What do you want more than anything? What is your step by step plan to create the life that’s perfect for you? Take the time to answer these questions in depth, then talk them over with a trusted friend or your coach. Grow Yourself You must understand yourself before directing improvements in your life. So be sure you’ve laid the foundation with the above questions first. You can then begin the work toward the success you seek. Professional and personal growth is not about collecting information, but about incorporating knowledge so completely that it becomes a part of who you are. It takes stepping outside the box, addressing uncharted territory and surrounding yourself with people who reinforce your new habits. There you have it. You have the power to make this the greatest life you can imagine! What’s more important than that?
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Mix and Match Jump Start Program for Success These exercises and suggestions will help you get a boost of energy and move toward success more effortlessly. They are meant as an introduction to the personal work that leads to success. Do what feels right whether it’s one or all. As you notice your energy increase, include more. •
• • •
• • • •
Tolerations Exercise – List 20 current energy drainers or tolerations in your life, like loose buttons, crammed drawers, weeds, clutter, or a friend who is not supportive. Now handle them! Start by designating them to one of these categories: Do, Delete, Delegate or Tolerate. As you move through the list you’ll feel more energy. Toss 50% of your Projects – You can do this. Practice Free Form Journal Writing – Write about everything and anything, whether you feel like it or not. Don’t judge yourself or edit. Use it to explore and raise your own awareness of your most important resource – YOU! Note your Present Focus – On a piece of paper draw a circle. Then think about the amount of time you spend dwelling on the past and/or the future. How much is left for the present? Now divide the chart into three sections that represent those portions of your life. If you’re honest about it, you’ll most likely find you’re wasting far too much time in the past or future. Resolve to double your present focus. Go back to the chart regularly to remind yourself. The present is really the only time you have. Start or Increase Your Savings – This will increase your freedom. Say No – You can do this and still be polite. Be willing to put yourself first. It’s the only resource you have. Read Affirming Books –Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers and How Much Joy Can Your Stand? By Suzanne Falter-Barns are two good choices. Hire a Coach
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How’s Your Success Community? The people who surround us have a profound influence. If you want to be more successful in any aspect of life, you must have people that celebrate you. Are you spending your time with people who contribute to your success? Take this test to see #
The conversations I have are routinely positive and uplifting.
#
I don’t spend time listening to complainers.
#
I contribute to my community in a way that’s meaningful to me.
#
I have a success group that helps me reach my goals.
#
People who care about me know my passion and want me to succeed.
#
I have mentors who want me to succeed.
#
I have professional and personal alliances that help me grow.
#
I only spend my time with friends who make me feel great.
#
I know how to set good boundaries with negative people.
#
I have a coach.
Give yourself one point for each checked box. 0 – 3 points = Don’t be discouraged! Most people do VERY poorly on this test. Our society is not set up to support the kind of community we need to thrive. Don’t let that stop you! Now is the time for you to do something about changing your human contacts. Join new groups and keep joining until you find the right support. 4 – 6 points = You’ve done some things to develop a good support system. Keep going! 7 – 8 points = You are above average. What’s stopping you from reaching the top of your success? 9 - 10 points = You enjoy a great amount of support. You are successful and fulfilled! What steps do you need to take to make your community work for you? WARNING: Now that you’ve taken this test, you should be warned that there’s a paradox here! If you need people, you will not attract them nor will you be powerful enough to enjoy success and fulfillment. So yes, we do need each other, but don’t need too much!
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Ego in Business There are many obstacles that can prevent a business from becoming successful or growing to a higher level of profitability. A large ego can easily be the most formidable of these. Ego management is an ironic and paradoxical challenge that, due to its very nature, draws many to entrepreneurial endeavors or positions of leadership within an organization yet, when unchecked, goes on to cause ruin. Yet successful management of ego will expedite projects, streamline communication, smooth personal conflicts, and open the door to new opportunities. If ego is not the way to go, what is it that we should strive for? Do I mean teamwork should be the goal instead of a self-centered approach to work? Well, partly, yes. Good teamwork allows for creativity and collaboration. But teamwork is merely a stepping stone to an even richer treasure chest of opportunities awaiting you. Connect with the highest source! Call it inspiration, creativity, synchronicity or Spirit. You can choose the struggle that ego offers or use the help of those forces beyond scientific explanation. For example, the solution you've been striving for for weeks can come from an innocent comment made by a child. You'll only hear it though, when you are open to these forces. The way to be open is to tame the ego. Reminder - the essential truth is that we really cannot do anything alone. The question is not whether ego is a problem, but to what extent. Here are some points about ego. Top Ten Points about Ego and Business 1. Ego is the opposite of Spirit centered living. 2. Poor self-esteem, as well as elevated self-importance, are signs of ego centered focus. 3. Ego centered living is focus on the self as separate from Spirit. The degree to which you are ego centered is probably problematic. 4. Ego can drive you to build material success, but never true success. 5. Ego can never be completely eradicated in this lifetime. 6. Ego always prevents peace. 7. To move toward a more spiritual focus requires faith which often means not getting what you think you want. In truth, it leads you to what you truly want. 8. If you are at peace, you are in Spirit. 9. You can collect garbage, make fly swatters or build coliseums and be at peace. 10. You can heal the sick, teach inner city youth or run a homeless shelter and not be at peace.
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Tips for Coaching Employees to Success: ! Schedule and hold regular one on one meetings that specifically address performance in all relevant areas. Don’t fall into the trap of saying you don’t have time! ! Provide feedback specific to the employee's performance. Avoid generalizations such as "You did a great job" or "You did a poor job" which offer nothing to work with. Instead address the exact actions you liked or did not like. For example, say, "your ability to remain calm with that upset customer helped us save that account" or "by making that customer wait while you talked to your friend on the phone, you almost lost that account". These targeted comments allow an employee to know exactly what to do to improve. ! Set goals for performance with the employee's input. ! Provide tools necessary to achieve goals. ! With the employee's input, specify a plan for achieving goals. ! When necessary, specify consequences for failure to achieve goals. This may become very helpful if it’s necessary to terminate an employee. ! Monitor progress on a regular basis and rework goals as needed. ! While remaining professional and detached from the work results, discuss and FOLLOW THROUGH on the plan. ! Work with a coach yourself!
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Meditation to Break Addiction to Failure (You may wish to take turns reading this to a friend or read to yourself into a tape recorder. Soothing background music could be a great enhancement as well.) This meditation is designed to break addition to failure. Because we perceived failure as reality and because we desire to see some powerful results of our energy flowing efforts this meditation will help pave the way. Do this meditation only if you are ready to become a deliberate creator. Find your centered place. Connect with your inner being and ask for assistance. Ask that you be shown from this day forward any signs that you are still addicted to failure no matter how slight. And now climb the sparkling golden ladder that is in front of you knowing that you are quite safe. Climb very slowly and deliberately stopping at each rung to feel the change in energy as you go higher and higher. Feel the change. Feel your connection deepen to that which you truly are. Allow yourself to feel your sense of worthiness expand with each step you take. At the 8th rung you step off into a platform of shimmering lavender. Across the way perhaps 100 years or so, you see a door. Allow your inner being to show you if the door is pure light or pure darkness knowing that neither is right or wrong only the experience your inner being wishes you to have. There is no solid structure around the door only clouds of no color. You are bid to cross the lavender platform and enter the door for this is the door of addiction to failure. Take your time to enter, when you do, leave the door open. Inside is total void, blackness, nothingness. You are surrounded by old beliefs, lack, uncertainties, unworthiness and fear. This is not a comfortable place to be but you stay waiting for what is to come. Then slowly in front of you another door appears glowing with your own divinity, your own brilliance. For this is the door of your own making. You are bid to go through the door but first reach behind you and close forever the door through which you entered. Close it tightly, firmly, permanently and now go forward with sureness into the blazing light. Go through your new door, the door of freedom from failure. You have walked out of old beliefs. You can never be the same. ***This meditation is used with permission from Lynn Grabhorn. 105 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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MISCELLANEOUS SECTION INCLUDES ARTICLES ON PARENTING AND FOR TEENAGERS
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Is Your Life Everything You Want? Tips for a Life Beyond Parenthood There are so many expectations and responsibilities in life that even when we’re able to handle them all, the stress we’re constantly under often renders us unable to enjoy our so called achievements. Yes, we got the lunches packed, the kids off to school, ourselves to work or to whatever meeting we’re attending. We managed the problems at the office, fixed dinner, helped the kids with homework, and drove the kids to lessons and games. But what is it we really want for ourselves, our families and our professional lives? Do we even have an idea? Are we having fun yet? Is it supposed to be fun? Well, YES, it can be fun. And if you aren’t enjoying your life, what message are you giving to your kids? Yes, our children do follow our example. This is the biggest opportunity you have to impact them. Take care of you! You’ll be teaching by example and any parent educator will tell you that your example is the most potent teaching tool you have. So now you may be saying “How am I supposed to start having fun when I am so bogged down with responsibilities?” Here’s some tips to help simplify life and find time for enjoyment for yourself and the family: 1. Completely rid yourself of “Shoulds”. Ask yourself these questions: Who am I pleasing by doing this? Is the thing I’m doing enhancing and simplifying my life? Am I influenced by others or the media to behave in ways that are not right for me? Am I buying this because it temporarily makes me feel good - as opposed to spending the money on some service that could simplify my life? By being completely honest with yourself on these questions, and rearranging your life to reflect your own values, you will find time and space. 2. Rethink your Daily Responsibilities. If you or your partner are finding yourselves trapped in the parent-as-servant role, you’re missing a huge opportunity to lighten the load for yourself and teach responsibility to the children. A 5 year old is able to make their own bed, put away unbreakable dishes, and put away laundry. Instead of working to get past a certain task, as if its a drudgery, think of it as an opportunity to spend time with the children. For example: you could have a family clean up time, with everyone working as a team to get the house looking great. Also a 7 year old can help cook with your supervision. While you’re at it, why not ask your 7 year old to pick some recipes from a few you’ve selected and have her write out needed ingredients for your shopping trip. She can check to see what’s already on hand and write down the things you’ll have to buy. When you get home, she can put away groceries along with younger siblings. Sharing chores like food preparation, creates a natural environment for communication. Enjoy this time together. 107 © 2006 Manifestation Project www.manifestationproject
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3. Take Time to Relax. Use one of the many forums available for relaxation. Exercise helps many to unwind. Other techniques are to meditate or simply lie down and listen to gentle music. When your mind begins to wander, gently bring it back to the music. And remember to lighten up and enjoy the simple pleasures that surround you. 4. Take a Careful Look at Your Time. People, on average, have 40 hours of undocumented time a week. You may want to try writing down how you spend your time for a week. This exercise will help you become very clear about where their time is going. After you’ve gotten some clarity about your time usage, you can make some wiser decisions about how you want to expend your life energy (time). For example, you may decide to cut down on t.v. or awaken a bit earlier to include exercise. 5. Take a Look at Your Job. Is it fulfilling? Are you doing what inspires you? Well, it can be if you take a look at what’s right for you. Don’t let yourself fall into a rut. You are never too old or stuck to pursue your dreams and, yes, dreams can be reawakened even if you’ve temporarily forgotten them! This is a huge, but important topic so I want to refer you to the book I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher. Or get yourself a professional coach. I promise its worth the effort. 6. Pursue a Hobby. Now that you have this extra time, ask yourself how you’d like to spend it - just for you. After all, that’s what this article is about - FUN. 7. Have Fun Time with the Kids! First and foremost are leisure activities everyone likes to do like going for walks, reading together, going for ice cream, camping, movies, family restaurants, etc. These generally come with no emotional cost to parents and enhance your life. Then there are the activities that are just for the kids and let’s be honest , who likes those discovery fun action zones? Be forewarned that these anti-adult activities come with a price to you. So if you’re planning a birthday party with 30 loud, energetic 8 year olds, be sure to balance with plenty of self-care so you’ll be at your best for the event.
Well there you have it! These steps, when thoughtfully pursued, can provide you with the tools to create the life you want. And don’t forget self-care is the best teacher.
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Teen Stress Management Tips Give yourself permission to say no – learn to set boundaries (ask for boundaries sheet) Love yourself – Yes that’s very important!! Set some goals that make you feel good – make them for you, not anyone else Dream big and know you can achieve most anything in life Remember, you can’t change anyone, only yourself Find a good adult mentor you can trust – school counselor, teacher, coach and spend time with them strategizing about your life Include your parents, talk to them and remember they are always doing the best they can Notice who makes you feel small or bad about yourself and set limits with those people If you are in an abusive situation – either verbal or physical, find an adult to help Develop awareness of your mental and physical reactions to stress….. • What upsets you? What happens to your mind when you’re upset? Your body? • What helps you to relax? Here are some ideas: Write it out….. just write everything you can think of that’s upsetting you – don’t stop, don’t worry about punctuation, staying in the lines, or anything, use bad words if you have to. Get it all out, keep writing until you start feeling better and better. Write until you’ve cleared the emotion. (Remember a negative emotion is just an emotion and can tell you a lot. But a negative emotion is not a good place to operate out of when you have to make a decision or handle a situation or people. So do everything you can to clear it. Hiding from it does not clear it though. It actually can make it worse. Stuffing or hiding emotions causes them to get stuck and they actually influence your health and your behavior in not so great subconscious ways. Clear them!) Here’s some other ways to clear emotions: - Talk to a coach or therapist - Exercise - Meditate or pray - Talk to a trusted friend (this can be tough as other teenagers are caught up in their own problems – lots of adults are as well…..) - Cry, really cry and let it out - Find a creative outlet that’s right for you: what makes you happy – not your parents, friends or anyone else, but you. Find a way to do that. And don’t worry about whether you’re good at it. No one is good at something new at first. If it makes you feel happy to think about doing it, try it out and let yourself fail at it as well. No pressure, just keep failing and learning. - Change the thoughts you’re having that lead to the negative emotions. Say STOP when you notice yourself thinking anything bad about yourself or others. Practice this, it gets easier. (This goes back to awareness that I talk about above). - Send me an e-mail at
[email protected]
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QUOTES SECTION INCLUDES (YOU GUESSED IT) INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES……
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“What is the opposite of abundance? It’s not scarcity. It’s greed. Greed is the belief that there is not enough for everyone, so you’d better grab yours now. What is the opposite of love? It’s not hate. It’s fear. Fear is the belief that someone or something can hurt you.” “Ultimately, the product you sell is love-manifested and materialized.” -Robert G. Allen “As a man thinketh, so he is, and a man chooseth, so is he.” Old Testament “Think you can, think you can’t; either way, you’ll be right.” Henry Ford “If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.” Isaac Singer “If you constantly think of illness, you eventually become ill; if you believe yourself to be beautiful, you become so.” Shakti Gawain “Great men are they who see that the spiritual is stronger than any material force, that thoughts rule the world.” Ralph Waldo Emerson “No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” Helen Keller
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SUGGESTED READING These resources will positively impact your Wealth Consciousness: Andersen, U.S. Three Magic Words – One of the first powerful books I’ve read on spiritual principles for manifesting everything you desire. Cameron, Julia and Mark Bryon Money Drunk, Money Sober – An approach to money as an addiction. Carlson, Richard, Ph.D. Don’t Worry, Make Money – Very readable book filled with one to two page nuggets of truth. Clason, George S. The Richest Man in Babylon – Babylonian parables on the subject of thrift, financial planning and personal wealth. Dominguez, Joe and Vicki Robin Your Money or Your Life – A frank look at what money really is. Especially relevant for those who have more than enough, but are stuck on the acquisition track. Dyer, Wayne W. Manifest Your Destiny – Another powerful first introduction for me on spiritual principles for manifesting everything you desire. Dyer, Wayne W. The Power of Intention – OK, now this tops the other two favorites! Gawain, Shaki Creating True Prosperity – A no-nonsense look at the pitfalls of each of the various perspectives on money consciousness. Gawain, Shaki Creative Visualization – A classic! Grabhorn, Lynn Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting – A fun, inspirational, easy reading on the Law of Attraction in the Universe. Hicks, Esther and Jerry (The Teachings of Abraham) Ask and It Is Given – Learning to Manifest Your Desires – Filled with powerful exercises and information on deliberately creating the life you desire. Hicks, Esther and Jerry (The Teachings of Abraham) The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent, Living the Art of Allowing – Takes the exercises from Ask and It is Given and looks at them more in-depth. Hill, Napoleon Think and Grow Rich – A classic.
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Klauser, Henriette Anne Write it Down, Make it Happen – Did you ever have a book keep coming up? Everywhere someone or something is telling you to read it? Well, I’m glad I listened! Mundis, Jerrold Earn What You Deserve – Uses the 12-step approach to overcome under-earning. I had one client tell me that my suggestion of this book was worth my entire fee! Nemeth, Maria, Ph.D. The Energy of Money Price, by John Randolph The Abundance Book – Very spiritual approach to creating wealth consciousness, includes a 40-day prosperity program. Roman, Sanaya and Duane Packer Creating Money Vitale, Joe The Attractor Factor – I JUST started reading this as I am ending this book and it is extremely powerful! It was one of those books that I was “accidentally” drawn to and I am very glad for that.
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