Luke Jermay - Amazing Memory Test

The Amazing Memory Test Luke Jermay

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Contents Contents....................................................................................................................................... 3 Contents Introduction............................................................................................................. 4 Stage One ................................................................................................................................... 7 My Key Word List ..................................................................................................................... 8 Stage Two ................................................................................................................................. 10 Application of The System .................................................................................................. 12 Adding Details.......................................................................................................................... 13 Applying the System in Performance ............................................................................. 14 Bringing the Effect to a Natural Close............................................................................ 15 Performance Script ................................................................................................................ 16

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Contents Introduction Hello and thank you for purchasing this manuscript. I am constantly amazed and thrilled with the support and interest the mentalism community shows in my work. It really means very much to me. I consider myself a life long student of the art of mentalism and am genuinely compelled and obsessed with it. My life is more or less mentalism and little else. My days are spent thinking, reading and working on various ideas. My evenings are spent performing – both formally and informally. In truth my odd and overwhelming dedication to mentalism has caused me problems in my personal life, often making personal relationships difficult and unsustainable, since I have always felt that there is little room in my life for little else. Whether this is a good thing for me personally is not really an issue – it is however I hope to your benefit. I am often moved by the connection and community that exists within our chosen field and can not thank you all enough for the support and help you have as a community offered me in the past. While many may associate me with odd and unusual methods I value classic effects and plots above and beyond all. These routines have remained enduring classics for a reason and much of my recent past has been spent thinking and applying my own theories to several classic routines. What you find within this manuscript are the results of my performance of a classic effect. In ‘Step Three – Mental Systems’ of the seminal work ‘Thirteen Steps To Mentalism’ written by the legendary Corinda, he clearly states the value he placed upon memory systems: “To the mentalist, Memory Systems are indispensable; they are part of his equipment and the means whereby he can be called upon to perform at any time – and give an impressive demonstration. They are the best type of equipment you can have, as there is nothing to carry and no apparatus to prepare. The skill lies in the training of the mind, in conditioning the mind to operate to maximum advantage, and once trained, that skill remains with you for life, ever ready to be applied” Later in the same chapter of the book Cordina expands this ethos to ‘The Amazing Memory Test’ that is detailed in his lesson: “This is probably the most popular application of the memory system in use today. It has every qualification you could hope for as a mentalist; no props to carry, do it anywhere, on stage, cabaret, the drawing room office or walking down the high road. It can be performed before any size audience – one or two – or thousands; it is positively sure to work, is easy to learn and last, and most important of all, it has a terrific effect on the audience. What more could you want?” Corinda mentions that at the time of his writing ‘The Amazing Memory Test’ was the ‘most popular’ application of the mental system laid fourth. In the years past since his writing I think it would be fair to say that this routine has fallen out of popular performance. I feel this may be due to the following reasons: 1. The routine is often long and slow – modern audiences simply do not possess the same attention span that was afforded to Corinda at the time of his writing 2. Many performers feel the routine is driven by the performers ego – and thus can potentially appear as a routine that is more about the performer ‘showing off’ than entertaining his audience.

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3. Mentalism literature is rather sparse lacking additions and advice on the routine – unlike many of the effects and plots detailed within ‘13 Steps To Mentalism’ the ‘Amazing Memory Test’ has seen little published variations or performance advice, since its publication in the book. While the routine does date back much further than the book I would suggest that Corinda was responsible in introducing the routine to many mentalists. While the above are worthy of consideration they are points and problems that are both easy to solve with presentational hooks and strong understanding of the routine. With no props to carry, a strong and entertaining theme and its ease in operation I would like to challenge you with the same question originally posed by Corinda – what more could you want? Corinda despite his clear affection for the routine covers both the presentation and the method in the space of some two and a half pages. While I certainly am not suggesting that this work is of higher value than that of the classic Cordina text I do feel that a heftier examination and discussion of the routine is called for in order to successfully present it to today’s audiences. The information covered in this manuscript is purely developed through thinking about and applying my theories and lessons taught in performance to the routine. I hope this real world approach to the routine may instill more confidence in the routine than that of a two and a half page write up. I hope you enjoy my treatment of this classic routine. I have a personal soft spot for effects that use ‘super-memory’ as a theme or premise. I have published several such routines ranging from card effects to book tests – however of all the routines I have published featuring this presentational hook I feel the following is the strongest. This is a routine that has served me well in performance over the years and I have made numerous changes to the script that is presented over time. I would urge you to use the script contained within this manuscript as a template or structure of sorts, however I can not stress how important it is that you create your own script that suits you by doing this you will make the routine your own and have something very special on your hands. I know I for one would rather be the best ‘me’ rather than a second rate ‘someone else’ and I hope this is understood in relation to my performance script. With these ideas in mind let us move onto the bulk of the manuscript in which we will deal with each of the points outlined above and pull everything together with a full performance script and method. Before moving onward I would like to take a moment of your time to make a request regarding the content of this manuscript; with the constant influx of people talking, writing and detailing information from within limited and private releases on various magic and mentalism forums and worse uploading pirated and illegal versions of such releases we find ourselves in a situation in which the value of the information contained with these releases has begun to lower. This has as I am sure you have observed lead many performers myself included to increase the price of their releases as a way to combat the casual buyer and keep the information at something of a premium. With this in mind I sincerely ask you to post your feelings about this manuscript should you wish on whatever of the internet forums you may frequent, however if you are to do this please keep the content and details about the content a secret. With our keeping content secret and away from public boards which can be accessed by laypeople, a fact that seems largely to be overlooked by most people on such forums and discussion boards you are adding additional value to your own investment. I for one applauded you for protecting your investment.

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Until next time, Luke Jermay Las Vegas, 2008

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Stage One As Corinda himself points out in the ‘Amazing Memory Test’ within ‘Thirteen Steps To Mentalism’ several methods are available to the performer: “There are about six standard methods by which you may perform the Amazing Memory Test. The idea of the test is to have the audience call out some twenty to thirty objects and for you to remember those objects and their order. I do not propose to give you more than one method as first it is confusing and second it is unnecessary; the technique I have chosen is the one most used and the one which I find has served me well for years.” As with much of the advice contained within ‘Thirteen Steps’ I tend to agree. I have only ever performed the routine using the very simple method set fourth by Corinda and see no reason to make any change to the basic method at play. While Corinda sets out a list of ‘key words’ to hook the called objects upon during performance I would encourage you to sit down and create your own key words that seem logical to you. I will list my own keys during the course of this manuscript however I would encourage taking whichever keys are logical for you from my list and adding to the list where you see fit. I tend to simply chose a key word that rhythm with the number. For my regular readers you may have already observed that this manuscript does not have an effect description as with my other writings. This is mainly due to the fact that the manuscript provides several different approaches to the effect that allow the performer to pull things together from each of these approaches to create a different presentation for the routine and thus describing the effect would be slightly misleading. Before we move forward into the presentational elements of the routine let us review the methodological aspects of the effect. Key Words: The first thing you will need to do (if you have not already done this) is compile a list of 26 key words – a key word being a word that you can link to a number, I often simply rhythm a word with the number with example such as 13 I have chosen to use the key word lucky since in the tattoo community ‘lucky 13’ is a commonly heard statement and one that instantly comes to my mind when I hear the number spoken. I would recommend trying to use words that conjure strong visual images in your mind. I personally only make use of 26 selections in any of the presentations I use and it is something that will become clearer as we progress within the explanation. While I do certainly encourage you to compile your own key words, here are the words that I use. Please make notice of the additional details I have added into my own list drawn from personal experiences and memories. This really helps in the performance as these memories and experiences are already deeply in your mind and linking these memories, people, places and emotions to the key words will allow you to progress with this routine much quicker than without. I would recommend you sit and try to construct a list that looks something like my own but with your own experiences in place of mine.

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My Key Word List What follows is my personal key word list. I have included brief explanations of the memories that I attach from my own life to the word that is linked to the number. I feel this is very important and often not spoken about. I include these within my list to give you an example of what I mean with the emotional and personal memories helping strengthen the link between the numbers and the key words. 1.

2.

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.

15. 16.

17.

18. 19. 20.

Gun – The pistol in front of the Serbian flag tattooed on the hip of my current girlfriend. For those that are interested my first words to hear were ‘shake your pistol’ – yeah I am indeed a ladykiller. Shoe – A pair of brown hand made shoes I loved but could never wear as they destroyed my feet and were without a doubt the most painful pairs of shoes I have ever owned. Tree – The odd tree on the way to Reno covered in shoes. Door – The door to my apartment in Finland that never opened properly. Hive (such as a bee-hive) – Being stung by bees with my friend Ricky when I was five and having to sit in a bath of ice for hours. Sticks – I hate the band that shares the phonetic and therefore see them being beaten with sticks. Heaven – The punk club (no longer open sadly) in central London and the many wonderful women I encountered there. Golden Gate – San Francisco is one of my favourite places and have pleasant memories of the golden gate bridge. Pine (tree) – The pine tree that fell over in the back yard of my family home when I was a child during a storm. Pen – The Mont Blanc given to me as a gift from a friend. Devon – A vacation with a girl called Elizabeth and nearly drowning surfing. Self – Help – I think of all those horrible self help preachers. Lucky – I simply see the symbol for lucky 13 in my mind. Courting – my first date with a girl called Rachel, terrible but nonetheless strong memory. She seemed to think I played ‘Magic The Gathering’ professionally, as she was not aware that someone could be a magician as a profession, this lead to a weird and surreal misunderstanding between us for around a week. Lifting – Derren Brown and I lifting heavier than hell bookshelves in his apartment. Sweet Sixteen (party scene) – those god awful, annoying and over the top parties as seen on TV in recent years. Out by 16 or dead in the scene – from the movie ‘Ginger Snaps.’ Cannot be seen – I actually tend to think of Jerry Sadowitz performing ‘The Trick That Cannot Be Explained’ for me when I was beginning in magic. Dating – Whomever my affections may be turned toward that day. Frightening – The night a knife was pulled on me. Plenty – A meal in NYC with Moshe Botwinick that never seemed to end, it had what felt like 100 courses and became comical to me as the night went on.

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21. In the Sun – Sitting in Madrid in a park in the sun with friends drinking beer. 22. Painted Blue – Paul Vigil (who is fond of the song ‘Paint It Black’ by the Rolling Stones) with blue paint all over his face looking like an extra member of Blue Man Group. If you know Paul try to imagine him being a blue man I think it might be the funniest mental image possible. 23. Out at sea – Sailing to Finland from England with Katerina & seeing the Northern Lights while at sea. 24. On the shore – Katerina hugging her mother on the shore as we arrived in Finland. 25. Buried alive – Banachek covered in mud with William Shatner in the background looking and acting like a moron. 26. On two sticks – Teller on his crucifix at the Amazing Jonathon roast show. If you were there I challenge you to TRY to forget that!

Now you have seen my own personal key word list and in some odd way you have probably learned a little about me and my personal history. I would suggest you close this manuscript and start constructing your own list. However tempting it may be to make use of the list set out above as the work has been done I can not stress how important it is that you create your own list. This will help endlessly in performing the effect and is I feel one of the things that prevents many performers from making use this routine, as they are often trying to commit another persons list to memory and find it difficult as it is not driven by their own memories and experiences.

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Stage Two The next step in the creation and commitment of the key word list is to create what Corinda termed ‘Action Keys.’ In its simplest idea an action key is an action that you will always see in your mind when the key is imagined. For example you might always see a gun being fired when you hear the number one. This is another example of creating a stronger impression of the key with the addition of further details. This is often forgotten or even ignored by most mentalists trying to learn this routine. This may just be due to hast and enthusiasm to try out their hard work in committing the key word lists to memory, however it is very important that this second stage be adhered to – your efforts with the preliminary work on committing your system to memory will be rewarded a million times in performance. Of course my list of key words is combined with personal memories and thus the actions keys that I make use of are driven by those memories. I believe this is the best way to do this. However many people simple image the same action with key word and do not apply it to any personal memory. I will provide my keywords with their actions linked in the short form that I tend to use during my performances. If you skipped over my list of key words this may be difficult to follow, as I will not expand upon the memories and personal experiences that the actions link into. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24.

Gun – The pistol tattoo coming to life and shooting at people in the name of the Serbian flag. Shoe – The painful shoes with bandages wrapped around them and blood seeping through the leather. Tree – The odd tree sitting in a shoe store trying on the shoes only to find they do not fit. Door – A door with a Finish flag painted on it sealed shut with duct tape. Hive (such as a bee-hive) – Sitting in a bath of ice. Sticks – The lead singer of Styx being beaten over the head with a large stick until he stops singing his hellish lyrics. Heaven – A line up of the various women I met at Heaven. Golden Gate – The bridge falling into the sea while I am atop of it. Pine (tree) – Running away from a large falling tree. Pen – The gift writing out a thank you note to my friend. Devon – Walking along the side of the beach in the dark. Self – Help – I see self-help preachers in some scandal or another saying they need to “get them demons gone!” (An actual quote from a self help preacher by the way.) Lucky – I see the symbol being tattooed on my leg when I was 14 Courting – I imagine myself playing Magic The Gathering. Lifting – Bookshelves that are made of pure lead. Sweet Sixteen (party scene) – The scene from Ginger Snaps that made my friend nearly cry. Cannot be seen – Jerry Swearing. Dating – Whomever my affections may be turned toward that day. Frightening – Imagine myself being stabbed. Plenty – Getting fatter and fatter as the night went on. In the Sun – The sun is the Spanish flag. Painted Blue – I imagine Paul sneaking into the background of a promotional photo for Blue Man Group. Out at sea – I simply see the stars shinning. On the shore – I imagine her mother turning into a monster and eating me whole. Long story...

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25. Buried alive – I see Banachek punching William Shatner in the face. 26. On two sticks – Teller on his crucifix at the Amazing Jonathon roast show. If you were there I challenge you to TRY to forget that! No action need be mentioned here...if you were there the action is obvious.

Now I have provided my personal actions list with my personal key words I would suggest once again you close this manuscript and begin constructing your own action keys list. I tend to make use of either violent or cartoon images as they seem to stick in my mind best. Feel free to go as crazy as you want in the construction of your actions list. The more unusual the imagery in your mind the better and easier the list will be in use.

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Application of The System The system is easy to apply and I recommend that when you begin practicing with the system you try to improve the speed in which you can link the number with the selected item. While this is not really needed the faster you can make the link the better. I will provide a manner in which you will always be working one ahead of the audience later in the manuscript thus making it appear much quicker than it really is however this rule of practice is worth sticking too as it will help increase the speed and make the routine more effortless in performance. To apply the system to the effect you will simply call for a spectator to name an object. Let us imagine the spectator calls the object/item ‘duck.’ We will imagine that this is the first item that has been called by your audience. In my system the linked item with the number one is a gun. My linked action is the gun being fired. The personal memory is a tattoo on the hip of my girlfriend. I would therefore see the tattoo (personal memory key) of the gun (key word) coming to life and shooting (key action) at a duck that is running away from the gunfire. This creates a strong mental impression and the moment I see this in my mind I will only have to think of the number one to remember the item as the image almost appears in mind with no effort on your part. I feel I must explain that while in print these linking thoughts seem protracted and long in performance this is of course not the same. I do not actually even process the notion of the tattoo coming to life in any conscious sense it happens more as a part of what you commonly call muscle memory with sleight of hand. th

One more example later in the sequence let us image we are dealing with the 16 item selected. We will imagine this item is a pair of sunglasses. I would see a horrible, spoilt little girl wearing a ‘I’m 16’ pin. I would see her throwing a pair of sunglasses into a trash can as they were not expensive enough for her and she did not like them as they were cheap and her generally horrible response to a gift. I then see the massive monster from Ginger Snaps tearing this girls flesh apart. Again here I am applying the key words, actions and personal memories to the linking process. A routine like this can often be hard to practice on your own – I have a method in which you can rehearse this routine without the need for multiple people. Simply get a catalogue from a furniture store such as IKEA. Now perform the routine and in the parts where you would normally request an object/item randomly open the book to a page and select the most prominent object on that page. Write this on a piece of paper or large white board. Apply your linking system to each object/item. Without looking at the white board write the list once again and then compare the two lists to check your accuracy.

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Adding Details I am a great believer in applying additional information and details to the objects suggested by your audience as to me it creates a much stronger impression in the minds of the audience. th

For example if we were to be offered a pair of sunglasses as the 16 selection as we spoke about earlier I would ask the spectator the following details” “What colour and style do you imagine these sunglasses to be?” No system linking is needed in recalling these details. You simply will remember them as you bring back the item into your mind. I recommend you do not do this with each and every selection made by the audience but rather when an unusual item is suggested expand upon it and use it as a comical part of the routine. I tend to make use of additional details for the third, tenth, sixteenth and final object of the list with the final object being the most detailed to seemingly create some kind of climax to the routine. We will examine how I put this to use later in the presentation section of this manuscript.

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Applying the System in Performance Applying the system as you read this manuscript or sit at your desk is a very, very different task to applying the system during a real life performance. One of the key parts that gets over looked in this routine is constructing it in such a way that the performer is allowed a short delay between the items suggested by the audience, allowing him to apply the system to the item and link it to his word list. Often this is the first short coming in the routine and many times this oversight can lead to a train wreck the first time you perform the routine. I make use of a random selection presentational ploy to allow me to achieve that short delay. I use a small soft ball that is thrown into the audience. The spectator this ball ends with is asked to stand and name an item and add some details to it. The ball is then thrown once again selecting another spectator who suggests an item and some details. This is repeated until all the items have been select and recorded on the list. It is important to realize that this manner of selecting audience members is quick – despite it having been chosen to allow myself a short delay to link the items without having to rush my thinking it is indeed quick and mastery of the word list and application of the system is required to successfully achieve the speed needed in performance. While not needed for the routine I tend to also link the item not only to its numeric position in the list but also to the person who selected it. I simply do this by picturing one key part of the spectators clothing alongside their item. This can be useful and during the scripting section that follows. You will see how one might want to take advantage of this additional step. I would recommend performing the routine without this addition to begin with and when you feel comfortable with it add this into the routine. One more thing to consider – you may wish to bring a theme to the items offered by your spectators. For example countries they have visited, favourite bands, records, foods and many more options are open to you.

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Bringing the Effect to a Natural Close One of the main issues I have encountered with many memory demonstrations is creating a logical and clear climax point for the routine. I have chosen to make use of a ‘multitasking’ presentation alongside the memory test that has in the past worked well for me with other routines. It is also somewhat connected to the combination of the ‘Knights Tour’ and ‘The Amazing Memory Test’ that I am sure you are familiar with. [Or see The Amazing Magic Square and Master Memory Demonstration by Orville Meyer.] I have chosen to add the additional element of stating the alphabet backwards alongside the amazing memory test with each letter being used to assign one of the items to a spectator. This is something that will not affect the method but allows you the performer to add one more layer of effect and at the same time in my opinion creates a sense of conclusion to the routine when the performer reaches the final letter and the final item. There are numerous ways to learn to say the alphabet backwards and while many feature mnemonic hooks to help you do so I feel the very best way to do this is to learn it cold and not with the use of mnemonic. While this might sound odd I feel with only 26 simple pieces of information to remember a cold ‘root’ style memorization is far superior. With this said I did begin by committing the sequence to memory using short cuts and over the years it has now become a case of cold root memory and I no longer worry about recalling any of the memory aids. My personal memory aids are based on a combination of my own and Barrie Richardson’s that can be found in his lecture notes. If you are reading this manuscript I am certain you already perform this or know of many methods that are open to you. As this is not the focus of this manuscript I will not waste any time covering the how of this here. Memory effects have always been of great interest to me. I have enjoyed performances of such feats as The Knights Tour, Newspaper Memory Act, Bob Cassidy’s famed memory demonstration and many other lesser feats of memory. However my biggest issue with these routines was often that they did not feature enough of a clear climax nor did they have a hook that I felt made the whole point worthwhile. I feel the scripting of this routine helps improve upon this situation.

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Performance Script You will notice that while the script is somewhat simple it is structured in such a way to keep the effect moving forward and the final delivery of the final five items I structured in such a way to provide a clear and concise finish to the routine. The performer begins: “Tonight is something of a special show for me. My best friend Dan is in the audience. We have known one another for years. He goes to university in England but he is visiting and before the show we were talking about something that we used to do when we were both at University together in the UK. In fact it goes way back further than University right the way back to be a very young child in elementary school. I remember standing in the school playground with Dan and we would flip the lid from a tube of candy. We would attempt to guess which side of the lid would fall upwards. I know it’s a boring game but we did not have play stations. One day I vividly remember seeing my best friends face look like he had just seen a ghost. I look to the ground and soon understood that all our sweets had fallen to the floor along with the lid. Then, I looked back at my friend and realized that I had a mental image in my mind of all the sweets on the ground. At that moment I realized that I could seemingly remember large amounts of information however as I grew older it soon became clear that while I could retain large amounts of information however useless but nonetheless large amounts of useless information. You see I seem to be able to remember the number of pebbles on the ground as I get out of my car but not where I parked it. It did come in useful while at University in the shape of ‘bar bets’ where I would get free drinks for me and my friends demonstrating this odd quirk. This is what myself and Dan were speaking about before the show and in our now much more mature state of mind we made a bet. Dan bet me that if I could do this next demonstration, something that I have not tried in years he would buy the drinks for the rest of the night. So with your indulgence I would like to try something that is not in every show I perform and is something that I genuinely do not know if I am ever able to do any more. Will you indulge me? The performer awaits confirmation from the audience. When the audience verbally confirms indeed they would like to see the bet the performer continues: “OK thank you. The bet is simple. This is the stake.” The performer removes a large stack of cash from his pocket and places it onto the table. He then removes a large note board & pen and hands this to someone in the first row of the audience the performer also removes a soft ball from his pocket and then continues: “I am going to throw this ball into the audience. If you happen to catch it I want you to stand for me. I then want you to offer me some piece of interesting information. Now I do not want anything personal but rather something that is a game I used to play. I am going to start with the word ‘hamster’ I want whomever catches this ball to say a word that they feel is as far removed from the

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word I have said and this will continue until we have a list of 26 totally unrelated words. Here goes….” Addressing the spectator in the first row the performer asks that they record the words as they are said on the large board. The performer throws the ball into the audience and the process begins. Every now and again the performer stops the sequence and asks the spectators to add a few details to whatever word they have chosen to select. This is done with four or five of the more interesting words offered. The performer then continues: “Now very much like when I was a child and I look down on the playground floor and saw all that mess of colour and candy I am going to try to take a mental image of the words recorded on the board. The words you have chosen.” Walking toward the spectator in the front row the performer has them stand. He continues: “Someone with a second hand on their watch please time me on the count of three I will begin. When I reach three please turn the large board to face me.” The performer counts down to three and then quickly looks at the large board. He then closes his eyes after a short period and asks the timekeeper how long it took. The timekeeper explains it was around 15 seconds. The performer continues: “Please join me onstage and hold the board in the air behind me. I do not want to see the board but I do want everyone else here to be able to see the board. Now honestly remembering a sequence is much easier than actually remembering the order of the sequence cold. I mean everyone in this room right now has a sequence of 26 unrelated pieces of information locked in their minds that they will th never forget. The alphabet. However if I were to ask you what letter came 17 in that sequence it becomes much more difficult. After all it is more the sequence we have committed to memory rather than the actual information. So sir please name a number for me.” The performer instantly recalls the information recorded at that position on the board. The performer now explains further; “Now remember the list of information cold and being able to recall what appears at what position is indeed very difficult however to win the bet this evening I need to do one more thing. There are 26 pieces of information on that board right now. In order for me to win this bet I must correctly remember what each piece of information is and where it appears on the list while also saying the alphabet backwards. Who said men can not multi-task? We are one down and therefore we are position 26 in the alphabet which is of course Z.” Addressing the onstage spectator the performer has the correctly remembered information crossed through with a thick line. The performer continues with having another number chosen by a member th of the audience he points to. The performer then states the 25 letter of the alphabet and also the item. When the performer is asked about those pieces of information that have extra information recorded about them he offers a full description and points out who created the entry as well as naming the correct letter of the alphabet. This is continued until only 5 items are left at which point the performer continues:

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“Now if my memory serves me correctly and it has thus far there are only five left correct? Yes. Now With these five final pieces of information I want to try one last thing. Please name a number for me sir” Spectator names one of the final five left. The performer continues with four other people naming a number. When all five people have decided upon a number the performer continues: “Please stand for me. I am going to try to name the item you are thinking of in rapid succession however we cannot forget about the alphabet. You sir were thinking of the (insert item) which brings us to (insert alphabet) and your thinking of the (insert item) and you are thinking of (insert item) which eliminates (insert 2 alphabet letters) only two left. When I reach the final letter of my alphabet challenge I expect a massive round of applause. Sir you would be B in the alphabet and you are thinking of the (insert item) and sir you are thinking of the (insert alphabet) If I got your items correct please sit for me. Which neatly brings us to the letter A.”

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