Liz Larsen - 30 Second Seduction eBook

The Definitive Guide to Success with Women!

By Liz Larsen

Copyright 2006 Liz Larsen All Rights Reserved Published by Youniverse LLC

Table of Contents:

Contents Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

Introduction 30 Seconds Confidence Conversation Flirting Rejection Looks Where to Meet Girls Picking the Right Girl Romance Kissing What you Like Get Inspired!

page 04 page 06 page 09 page 16 page 19 page 26 page 28 page 33 page 40 page 44 page 47 page 49 Page 51

30 Second Tip: If you’re one of these guys that says, “Yeah, I want to be good with girls, but I want it to happen naturally—I’m not changing anything.” All I can say is, don’t be a fool! Did you learn how to drive a car by simply jumping behind the wheel and saying, “I just want it to come naturally to me?” Being good with girls is a skill. And like any other skill, it takes practice and a willingness to listen to those who can teach you about it. So put aside your pride and learn something. Then get out there and practice. You will get there!

Introduction So, let me guess: you can’t get a date, you can’t get laid or you can’t even say hi to a woman without blushing and stuttering? All of the above maybe? Ok, not to worry, you’re not the only one. There are plenty of guys out there that have no idea how to talk to women and therefore never get a chance to date the women they like. I Know a lot of you have probably checked out different sites about how to get laid in 30 days or how to use NLP or hypnosis to trick her into sleeping with you(!) Maybe you’ve even bought pheromones in a bottle in order to make her mad with passion and throw herself at you? No shame in having tried any of this, we are all looking for the quick fix. In my experience however, the quick fix rarely works, and (face it) are you really so sad that you want a girl to sleep with you because you hypnotized her?! Come on! You can do better than that. Much better! And I can help you with this. I can teach you to be the guy women want to get to know, without having to drastically change who you are or use sleazy methods to trick women. Why can I help you? Two reasons: 1: I am a woman, I know what women like and don’t like. 2: I have loads of female friends. Woman talk differently to each other when there are no men around and we tell close friends things we would never admit in public or in front of a man. 3: I have helped tons of male friends “get a clue” about women, and although your mama probably told you that you are special (and you may be!), when it comes to the dating game, you are just like every John, Jim and Joe out there—What works for other guys, WILL work for you too! And…who do you think can teach you more about women? The fourty-five year-old webmaster who’s bragging about how much experience he has with women and basing everything he knows on what a few girls have told him (and we all know that girls are not honest about this things in front of men—you do know that, right?), or would you rather learn from the twenty something woman who knows from the inside how women think and feel, what they dream about and what they really want from guys? Hmmmm…. So why do I want to help you?

This is the trickier question. But here’s the 411: The way I see it, dating is not a war between men and women. It is not the guy’s job to do whatever he can to trick the girl into sleeping with him, and it’s not the girl’s job to try to resist men and put them down every chance they get. Let me tell you a little secret: Most single girls are looking for a guy to hook up with just as much as you are looking for a girl. Read that last sentence again and REALLY think about it. That’s right, you don’t have to persuade a girl to hook up with someone, she already wants that. All you need is to learn to be the guy she chooses to hook up with. And with 30SS, it’s a no-brainer!

30 Second Tip: Get used to smiling a little more often than you currently do. A relaxed, confident smile will get you noticed by the ladies every time.

30 Seconds Yup, that’s right; on average, it takes a woman 30 seconds to decide whether or not she could sleep with a man! Now, I don’t want you to get discouraged or over confident knowing this. You see, 30 seconds is how long she takes to decide if you are on her “Maybe” list or her “Not a chance in hell” list. This doesn’t mean that she’ll sleep with you right away; it simply means that she is able to “see” it as a possibility. In other words—it wouldn’t gross her out and she is fairly sure she would enjoy it! What should you do with this knowledge? First, let me teach you how to be the guy she wants to hook up with. And once you know the rules of the game, it’s not as big a jump as you might think. But before I get into to the specifics of how you get the girl, I want you to get the following idea DEEP in your head: Most girls want the same thing you do! That’s right. Just like guys, the hot girls are out there “looking”. Some girls are looking for a boyfriend or a long term partner. Others are looking for a one night stand or a lover for a while. Remember this as I teach you to become the guy she wants to be with. Forget your preconceived ideas that she’ll only go home with the most handsome dude in the room. That’s bullshit! First of all, looks are far less important to women than it is to men, so don’t expect that she thinks like you, she doesn’t. Secondly, in a club for instance, there are plenty of pretty girls, and only one of them will be going home with the most handsome guy there, all the rest of them are still looking. I know from my own experience and what my female friends tell me, that a lot of women tend to be a little put off by the most attractive guy (unless you are Brad Pitt, that should make you feel better!). You see, it is common knowledge among women that the prettiest guys have the biggest egos. They tend to be vain, not very interesting and generally poor lovers. Why is this? It’s simple: the stunning guys never learn to develop an interesting personality or skill as a lover because they never have to. Once

women get a little bit of experience and get past the “high school” mentality they realize this. Another important thing to notice is that this works the other way around too. Quite often the prettiest girls are not the most interesting or the best lovers. This is especially true for the ones that have been pretty their whole life, the typical “cheerleader” or high school princess. I have realized through doing a ton of research on this topic that many guys, especially young guys who don’t have much experience, tend to see the pretty girl as the “prize” that they have to win. Wrong! I want you to put this idea behind you straight away. It is not about “winning the princess.” Remember what I just told you, girls are looking too. Sure, there are girls out there that consider themselves “princesses” and think that a man has to prove himself worthy before he can get her. If you are interested in a girl like that, I advise you to slap yourself fairly hard in the face, then go home and reconsider. “The princess” is very high maintenance, and usually, even if you do get her, she’ll make you work like a dog to keep her. And, even worse, she’ll always have that crappy attitude like you should feel honored to be allowed to date her. Can you say “biotch?” Now, don’t get me wrong, all beautiful girls do not have this attitude. There are pretty girls who see themselves as lucky as the guy if they hook up with someone they like. You see that’s the main point; women want to date guys they like. They want someone that is interesting to talk to and someone who makes them feel good. Preferably someone who is laid back and funny, and doesn’t take themselves OR HER too seriously. Re-read that last bit as well. It is horribly important! And here’s the wisdom of the ages for you—are you ready? The main key to make her feel good is if you feel good about yourself. One more time, and repeat after me: The main key to make her feel good is if you feel good about yourself. Got that? Good. We’ll move on for now, but we’ll be coming back to this point a lot, so get it firmly in you membrane!

The thing is, we all like to hang out with confident people. If you feel good about yourself, it will shine through and make her feel good about you too. If you are insecure about how you look or your social skills people will pick up on that. Likewise, if you are trying to hide you teeth, or dress in huge clothes trying to hide that you are skinny, people around you will always notice this— especially the babes. But if you can manage to be happy with who you are and how you look (or at least give this appearance), other people will accept this at face value, and your stock with the lay-dees will immediately rise! So, how do you get confident enough to relax around girls, and become the guy she’s looking to hook up with? Well, that’s what I’m here to tell you. Read on dear pupil and remember to only use this powerful information for good (because it is indeed powerful).

30 Second Tip: We all learn by “modeling behavior.” So if you want to be a “babe magnet,” study someone who already is! Pick a celebrity--rich, famous and adored by the ladies-- and buy a few DVD’s to “study his mannerisms, behavior and attitude. Watch these often, because the more you watch, the more you will begin to “mirror” his behavior; His babe magnet personality will begin rub off on you!

Confidence When it comes to success, any kind of success, it all comes down to your own mental attitude. Look at top athletes for instance. They are all pretty much in the same physical shape, but what separates the winner from the loser is his or her mental attitude. In order to make any change in life, be it small or huge, you need to be able to visualize yourself succeeding, and this is especially true of success with women. This means you have to keep a strong image in your mind of yourself accomplishing what you want (being a babe-magnet for instance!). Not only is it a good idea tell yourself that you will succeed; an even more powerful exercise is to tell yourself that you already have succeeded, and picture your success in vivid detail exactly as it happened. Did you notice that I used the past tense on that last word? That’s because in order to become a babe magnet, you need to already be a babe magnet— in your mind… In other words, if you want to be good at picking up girls, you need to see yourself as someone who is already good at picking up girls. Don’t tell yourself that you will succeed, tell yourself that you already have succeeded. By imagining yourself succeeding, you are already doing it in your mind. And everything that is accomplished in this world is FIRST accomplished in the mind. You have to be able to “see” it to achieve it.

How you see yourself You might think that when it comes to picking up women the most important thing is how she sees you. Wrong; how she sees you is important but, and this is the honest truth, it is entirely dependent of how you see yourself! If this sounds like new age mumbo jumbo, you need to take a step back and really try to keep an open mind. Because here’s the deal: you will NEVER be a babe magnet (or whatever you want to call it) until you begin to “see” yourself as a babe magnet.

If you feel good about yourself and have confidence in who you are and what you’re worth, she’ll see you that way. On the other hand, if all you can think about when you chat to a girl is “I’m too skinny/ I’m too short/ my face is broken out/ I’m not “cool” enough” or all of the above, she’ll immediately pick up on that. Immediately. For example, have you ever noticed how some girls always cross their arms over their belly, as if they’re trying to hide it? Have you also noticed that when girls do this kind of thing it only draws your attention to the area she’s trying to hide? Another good example is the “cover your ass with a sweater” trick. Have you ever failed to notice that a girl has a fat butt because she’s tied a sweater around her waist? I didn’t think so. Instead of hiding the problem, solutions like these draw extra attention to it and make it an even bigger problem that it would have been. And it’s exactly the same with guys. If you have bad skin and keep touching it because you’re self-conscious, she’ll notice. If you cover your mouth when you laugh because you have bad teeth, she’ll notice that you’re hiding something. The irony is, if your teeth are crooked but you don’t have a problem with it, neither will she. If YOU accept your imperfections and feel fine about yourself, 99% of the time, she will too. Remember this the next time you’re talking to a girl; feel at ease about how you look and who you are—and so will she. The proper attitude is, “I am what I am, and I’m cool with that.” I know that the whole “accept yourself” and “believe in yourself” message I’m giving sounds like something your middle-aged mom might get into when she’s going through menopause, but that doesn’t make it any less true! Self confidence is absolute vital when it comes to attracting people (both friends and lovers). It’s as simple as this: Confident people are sexy. And trust me, from a girl’s point of view, guys who feel good about themselves are interesting. They’re not desperate for attention or recognition; they just accept themselves in a laid back way. And this laid back acceptance is like cat-nip to girls. Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself. I assure you every one of my young attractive girlfriends agrees with this point. In fact, I’ve never met a girl who didn’t think this way. Ever. Think about it, which do you prefer; the girl who is constantly pointing out to you how attractive and popular she is, telling you how the other chicks are jealous of her and always fishing for compliments? Or the girl who’s so hot she simply knows she’s attractive without needing to point it out or have people confirm it all the time, because its obvious?

So your first step is…. That’s right; boost your confidence. Tell yourself positive things every day, and focus on what’s good about you rather than where you fall short. I would advise you to read everything you can get your hands on about building confidence, especially the UltraConfidence System included with 30Second Seduction. Another great tip is to try guided visualization or self hypnosis. These tend to be very efficient and they address your subconscious in a way that can be difficult to do yourself. Remember that when it comes to feeling good about yourself you need to convince your subconscious as much as your conscious mind. Think of it as brainwashing. We have all heard the crazy stories about cults that kill themselves (or others) after having been brainwashed by a strong leader. We all know how well this works in a negative way, so why not use this knowledge in a positive way to help yourself. (No, I’m not suggesting you try to brainwash girls you want to sleep with, you idiot!). The way to get a message through to your subconscious is through extreme repetition. You see, no matter how smart you might be, your subconscious is thick as mud. It does not understand irony, sarcasm or complex ideas. In other words: whatever your subconscious mind hears enough times, it will believe. Even if it doesn’t believe what you are saying, it doesn’t matter (thick as mud, remember?). You can picture your subconscious as a child, it’s not that it’s stupid, it’s just a bit under developed. Use this to your advantage, and it will help you tremendously in building confidence. Make sure that the messages you send yourself are positive. When you look in the mirror, tell yourself how good you look, rather than focusing on your flaws. Send yourself positive messages every day, several times a day. It doesn’t matter if your conscious mind can obviously see that you are lying, your subconscious is blissfully simple and will believe anything you tell it. Just do this consistently and relentlessly; repetition is the key.

30 Second Tip: Ask yourself the right questions! Good examples of these are, “Why am I confident? What is attractive and sexy about me? How does it feel to be attractive and laid-back?” Repeating questions like these starts your mind thinking in a direction that will directly influence your how you carry yourself.

Desperation Let me establish one thing once and for all: desperation is not sexy. You will find it very difficult to get a girl interested in you if what goes through your head is “Please let me sleep with you, please let me sleep with you, please let me sleep with you...” You might think that she can’t read your mind so she won’t be able to tell if you’re thinking like this. Do yourself a favor and stop fooling yourself. If all you can think of is how much you want to have sex with her (or anyone) she will know. Women can’t read minds, you are right about that, but we can smell desperation a mile away (the way a dog smells fear!--haha). So by now you are probably asking, “How can I hide what I’m thinking?” The answer is easy; you can’t! No matter how much you try to play it cool, if all you can focus on is getting laid, she’ll know and will probably lose interest. You see, women (just like men) like the chase. If they know from the very beginning that they can have you, they lose interest. Another important reason is that girls like to feel special. Even if we’re not in love, and we know you’re sleeping with other women, we need to feel that right then and there, it’s us you want and not just any girl who’s willing. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve turned guys down for this reason. If I get the feeling that he’s just out to score, and couldn’t care less if it’s me or any one of my girlfriends he takes home, I’m just not interested. Another big no-no to most women is if they see you hit on another woman and get rejected before you approach them. No one wants to be second (or third or fourth) choice. If you are trying to pick up a girl at a bar or club, make sure she hasn’t been watching you work your moves on someone else. There are ways which we will discuss later in the book to minimize the damage of a rejection and even turn it to your advantage. But for now, just remember, if it’s a small room you’re in, it might be better to just move on and start over in a fresh environment.

Social skills I must admit, the absolute worst examples of poor social skills I’ve ever seen have been young guys trying to talk to (or avoid talking to) women. Example: I few days ago I got on a long distance bus; as I entered the bus, a young guy, about 19 or 20, moved from a seat he had alone to sit next to the guy behind him. Because I wasn’t sure if he had given up his seat, I turned to the guy and asked if the seat was taken. You should have seen his face. This poor guy looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding truck! Instead of responding like any normal human being, this guy went mute. He made a couple of guttural sounds and blushed before he decided to deal with me by simply not saying anything at all. The strange thing about this (well another strange thing anyway) is that for the rest of the trip (four hours!) this guy was chatting away to another young guy that he seemingly didn’t know at all. Another good example is a friend of mine that was really handsome, but absolutely incapable of talking to girls. Even though I had known this guy for years, the only way I could hold a conversation with him was through asking non-stop questions, and forcing him to answer. This guy was on a trip to Paris once with his friends. An absolutely stunning young girl came up to him and asked him if he could tell her what time it was. My friend, although he did have a wristwatch on, simply made her aware that there was a church tower with a huge clock just behind him. What was that!? This doesn’t seem like odd behavior to you? Ok, boy, you need help. First of all, if you’re going to have any luck developing your social skills at all, you need to learn how to be polite to people. It doesn’t matter if there’s a clock right behind you, if someone asks you what time it is, and you know, you tell them. Secondly, if a young and attractive woman chooses you out of the dozens of people around to ask, you’re probably the one she likes the most of all the people present. Third, if there is a huge clock right there, plainly visible to you, then it’s probably visible to her as well. This means that her motivation for approaching you is not to find out what time it is, but to talk to you. It’s not brain surgery; if a girl approaches you, you need to make the most of it, not snub her. Even if you’re not very attracted to her, think of it as useful practice in talking to women. It’s like the “Do you have a light?” move. If a girl chooses you to ask for a light, especially if you’re not smoking and other people around are, she wants to talk to you.

You’ve probably heard a zillion times that you should always carry a lighter, even if you don’t smoke. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s actually good advice. In most cases pretty girls probably won’t fall into your lap, but if they do, you need to learn to grab the opportunity. I know it might seem like some guys can just walk up to a girl and smile, and she’ll go all weak in the knees and want to sleep with him right away. This might happen to you if you’re a bigtime Hollywood celeb (but probably not very often!), but I doubt it. As I keep trying to tell you, looks are not as important to women as they are to men. What she wants from you more than anything else is to feel good with you and make her feel good about herself. Now, in order to be good at talking to girls, you need two things: confidence and social skills. Social skills are something that some people seem to have in their blood and others not at all. When I talk about social skills I’m referring to the ability to feel relaxed and confident around different kinds of people, to communicate with pretty much anyone and make people feel so good that they want to spend time with you. If you are not one of the fortunate ones who can talk to anyone about anything, you need to learn these skills. The first step in achieving good social skills is to boost your confidence; We’ve already talked about how to do this. But confidence alone (while extremely important) is not enough. It doesn’t matter how confident you feel if you can’t hold a conversation. Before you can learn to talk to pretty women, you have to learn to talk to people in general. Start practicing talking to strangers on the bus, at the grocery store and when waiting in line in the bank. It doesn’t matter if the person you talk to is a 70 year old man or a 20 year old girl. The importance here is that you get used to talking to people you don’t know. Try to find something you have in common with people that you can talk about, and practice being genuinely interested in what strangers have to say, even if it’s completely outside of our frame of reference. Be polite, friendly and don’t push your opinions on people. If you suspect that the person you are talking to has radically different views on things than you, find something neutral to talk about. Whatever you do, don’t preach. No one likes to talk to someone who can only talk about their own special field. Ask more than you tell. We all feel comfortable around people who ask us questions about who we are and what we do; it makes us feel interesting.

Remember however, that it’s a conversation, not “Who wants to be a millionaire”. Keep it light; most people are not comfortable telling you their life secrets when they don’t know you. If you ask someone a question and they seem hesitant to answer, let it go and move on to something else. Now let’s talk about a more specific type of socializing. Remember the two guys I just told you about? What they have in common is that they’re not generally shy and have problems talking to other guys; its women they don’t know what to say to. A lot of guys have the idea that women are mystical creatures that are only interested in “female subjects” that men have no idea about. This is just not right. There are a few things girls talk about that most men don’t have a clue about, but mostly you can talk to a woman the same way you’d talk to your friends. Women are interested in a lot of different things. We talk about guys, fashion and make up sometimes, but we also talk about news, current affairs, movies, books and even computers and video games. You don’t need a map of the female mind in order to be able to talk to one. Find out what she’s interested in and take it from there. Use the experience you get by talking to strangers and apply it to talking to a hot girl. At the end of the day, that’s all she is; a stranger that you want to get to know.

30 Second Tip: Contrary to some guy’s beliefs, friendliness does not hurt your chances with women! Women dislike men without a backbone; ass-kissers in other words. But a man who is confident and friendly, but NOT a wimp, is incredibly sexy.

Conversation Ok, so you’ve gotten close enough to a girl to talk to her, and she still hasn’t fled screaming to the other side of the room. Now it’s time to talk to her. We all know that first impressions are important. It’s not absolutely vital that the first thing that comes out of your mouth is the smartest or funniest thing she’s ever heard, but it sure will help you if it is. Nah, I’m kidding. Let’s make one thing clear; what you say can be important, but even more important is how you say it. Attitude and confidence will be the difference between score and fail when you pull a line on a girl. Read what I’ve told you about these things in the chapters about confidence and rejection. As I’ve said before (and will continue to say), in order to succeed at anything in life, you need to have the right attitude. This applies to getting girls as much as anything else. I’ve talked about this, but let’s go over it again anyway. It’s that important. If you are going to be a ladie-killer, you have to start seeing yourself as someone who is good with women. Before walking up to a girl, take a moment and picture it going smoothly. Don’t waste time worrying about being rejected. And here is the real secret to delivering your opening line with confidence: Before walking up to her, ask yourself this question: “What does it feel like to be a confident, successful guy?” And then re-phrase the question, “How does it feel to be a laid-back attractive guy who all the girls desire?” Now take a little time to really think about these questions—repeat them to yourself several times until your mind is occupied with them. And then walk up to her. Asking the right questions is important. When you are asked a question, you start your mind searching in a certain direction. This subtle shift in your thinking can be clearly visible to those around you. How does this work? Honestly, I’ve know idea—but it works. Just try it and see for yourself. Pose questions to yourself, wondering about what it means to be someone who is interesting to talk to, or a successful wealthy guy, or a natural babe magnet. If this all feels a bit phony or childish—GET OVER IT! Just take this exercise seriously and really ponder these questions deeply. You WILL see a change in your attitude, and so will the ladies!

And remember: It’s not your job to persuade her to hook up with someone. She’s already wants that. Your job is just to be laid-back and charming. Asking yourself the right questions will put you squarely on the right path to presenting the attitude she wants. Before you start talking to her there are a couple of other things to mention; although I’ve told you that it’s important to make a good first impression, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. What you say to her doesn’t have to be revolutionary; just try to avoid the worst pathetic lines. You know, the “come here often?” type lines. Ok, Casanova, what are you going to say to her then? Regardless of what some so-called “dating gurus” may say, there actually is no bullet proof line to make her like you. A lot of it comes down to your attitude and how much confidence you portray. As a pretty general rule, I can tell you that a lot of girls like cocky men. If you have absolute confidence in yourself and a good portion of humor you can deliver almost any line and she’ll find you interesting. If it is obvious that you are joking you can dig up the worst cliché or rude pickup lines and still get laid. Let me tell you a little story: A few years ago I started celebrating my birthday the night before the actual day. The next morning I hung out at my local café, talking to some friends of mine, and a guy they knew was there as well. I had never met this man before, but the first thing he said to me was “Are you really hung over or do you always look like this?” This was an incredibly cocky thing to say, and I found it absolutely hilarious. It was refreshing to here something other than the usual flattery, and it was cocky as hell. Long story short, it caught my attention. I invited him to my birthday party later on that day. The guy showed up, but not to party. He walked in, congratulated me, and said “Well, you sure clean up nice.” and then left. That’s all it took. I was interested and immediately wanted to know more about this guy. So what exactly did this guy do right? Let’s examine his technique: 1. He began with a rude but funny remark. This is definitely the way to go. Rude + funny = sexy. But remember, rude without funny is just annoying. Funny without rude is much better, but just be careful you don’t wind up in the “let’s just be friends” category. 2. He showed up again, but only to make an appearance. He didn’t hang around too long which could cause him to look desperate. And by

not staying long he remained a bit mysterious. And in case you didn’t know, mysterious is good. 3. His second line was also rude/funny: “you sure clean up nice.” And it was slightly flattering, but not in an obvious or cheesy way. Therefore, he does not look desperate to get laid or like an ass-kisser. He seems challenging. Now let’s put all these elements together: Rude/funny, mysterious, slightly flattering and challenging. And this, dear reader, is the recipe for a babe magnet. So now you have the four basic elements—if there is one formula for success with women, this is it. Memorize these and take careful notes as we review once more: 1. 2. 3. 4.

Rude/funny Mysterious Slightly flattering Challenging

Now, besides the basic elements we’ve just discussed, the guy I told you about was also original. This is probably where you should put a lot of your focus until you have enough confidence to pull off the cocky lines. It is always more interesting if someone walks up to you and says something unexpected. Use humor and tell her something she’s not expecting. And remember to have fun! Dating is not dead serious, the more you have fun with it, the more she’ll have fun as well. We all tend to like people who enjoy themselves. So have a laugh while you’re out there. That’s what it’s all about.

30 Second Tip: Remember, “rude + funny = sexy.” But rude alone is just annoying! Until you get the hang of the rude + funny routine, better to just work on being funny and friendly. It takes time to get the proper rude + funny balance, so don’t rush it.

Flirting You know what flirting is, don’t you? Or maybe you just think you know. Pulling her pigtails and telling her she’s fat? Oh dear, let’s start from the very beginning then. If you really break it down, flirting is just a way of communicating with people around us. Some people use the word “flirt” only when referring to talking to someone they might be interested in, but scientists will tell you that we flirt with all sorts of different people, independent of sexual attraction. This means, that although you don’t think of it like that, you are flirting with both men and women of all ages. Flirting is a “light” way of communicating. When we flirt we let people know that we like them and that we enjoy talking to them. Ok, that’s the definition. Now, let’s move on to what is important in this context; flirting with women. I’ll give you a few pointers on what to do (and what not to do). Don’t worry, you don’t have to be a master of flirting to get the girl. All you need is to learn what works and what doesn’t More than anything, when it comes to flirting it’s how you do it that’s important. You can deliver the cheesiest or rudest line you can think of and still score if you know how to do it. Eye contact Let’s start at the beginning. Flirting is a lot more than conversation; it usually starts with body language and eye contact. Say you see a cute girl across the room that you’d like to talk to, what do you do? Nothing, you just stand there and hope that she’ll come up to you? Uh, no. Once in a blue moon that may happen, but more than likely it won’t. Women tend to start a flirt through eye-contact. We’ll look at you, meet your eyes briefly and look away, repeat. This might seem vague to you, but if a woman looks you in the eyes several times and then looks away she’s interested. Let me explain something to you; most girls are still brought up to believe that the guy should make the first move. Still, we know that in order for something to happen we need to let him know we are interested, so we use our eyes. There are different variations of the eye-flirt; some girls will meet your eyes briefly several times, others will keep the eye contact so long that it’s obvious they are flirting. Some girls smile, others are serious. Others yet

will look you seriously in the eyes and smile a little as they look away. It really doesn’t make any difference which approach she uses, the message is the same; I like you. There are of course girls out there that don’t give a shit about this, who have no problem walking up to a guy they like, but they tend to be the very confident ones. So, she’s looking at you, signaling that she likes you…What do you do next? First of all, you flirt back. Look her in the eyes and smile or smirk, look down before she does. Alternate between holding her gaze and being the one who lets go first. Eye contact often works as a sort of “challenge” so work with this. Use your eyes to challenge her. Make it a competition. In between flirting you should ignore her and talk to your friend for a while, this will make her more interested, as she is not sure if you fancy her or not. When you’ve been flirting across the room for a while, it’s time to make contact. Tease her a little. Look her in the eyes and smile as you get up of your seat and moves towards her. Then walk right past her to the restrooms or bar. This will confuse her and maybe disappoint her a little. After a few minutes, on your way back to your friends, stop and introduce yourself. Watch her behavior; if she looks relieved that you came back and seems very pleased to talk to you, you can stay and talk to her for a while— but only a short while (remember, be a little mysterious). If she is still giving you challenging looks and playing little games, just smile and go back to your friend after having introduced yourself and ignore her for a little while longer. Talk to other girls as well; every now and then, look at her and raise your eyebrows or smile. Lift your glass at her and return to the conversation your in. Try not to look smug; the idea is not “I can find someone else if you don’t want me...” Have fun with it, it is a game. This kind of flirting usually leads to talking to her. Sometimes if, you keep it up, she’ll eventually come to you. Don’t lose your nerve; if she can be bothered to flirt with you like this, she is interested. If the girls with her look over to check you out you’re definitely in, but don’t worry if they don’t, girls sometimes like to have a little “secret” flirt as well.

30 Second Tip: Try practicing your flirting skills by flirting with a few girls without making any attempt to take things further. Just flirt for the sake of flirting—nothing else! This may seem like a bizarre idea to guys, but girls love the occasional flirt that goes no where. So turn the tables by trying this yourself; it’s great practice, and you may find it confuses the girls in a very positive way!

Body language When it comes to all kinds of interaction between humans, a lot is said even before someone utters a word. This is true with flirting as well. It is important for you to know about body language, both hers and your own. You might not realize this, but your body language sends her a lot of messages about you. The trick here is to be conscious about what you are “saying” (conscious, not “self” conscious…). Here are a few points to remember: •

Be confident.

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Be relaxed and laid back.

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Smile and laugh when you are talking to people.

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Stand straight and relax your shoulders.

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Don’t cross your arms over your chest.

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Don’t “fidget”.

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Talk with energy and passion but don’t talk too fast.

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Keep eye contact.

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Don’t lean forward and “hover” over the person you’re talking to.

Ok, let me explain these a little; you might think that in order to look confident you need to feel confident. This is not necessarily true. Sure, it helps if you feel great, but even if you don’t, you can pretend. It’s a matter

of “fake it till you make it”. If you keep your back straight, head held high and your shoulders relaxed you will automatically look more confident. And remember to ask yourself the right questions, as we have already discussed. Thinking about the answers to these questions will definitely change the “vibe” you are sending out, and give you a boost in status. When you look more confident, people will think you are confident and treat you that way. Try it out, the more people respond to your “confidence” the more confident you’ll feel. Smile and laugh both when you are talking to girls and when you are talking to your friends. Women notice body language, so even if you haven’t noticed anything, it is very likely that several of the women in the room have “scanned” you for potential. Guys who laugh and smile look comfortable and seem fun to talk to. Never underestimate girls’ attention to detail. If you cross your arms you’ll looks unapproachable, closed and potentially insecure (people often cross their arms across their chest to “protect” themselves.) If you fidget you look nervous and insecure as well. If you talk very fast, it can be difficult for people to follow and you can look like you’re trying a bit too hard. And it is absolutely vital to make eye contact; if your eyes flicker here and there you’ll come across as insecure or even worse, untrustworthy. Never look over her shoulder at what’s going on behind her. This will make her feel like you’re not really listening to what she’s saying, and she’ll think you are checking out other girls. You’re confused aren’t you? Yes, I did say earlier to talk to other girls when eye flirting, and I’ve mentioned before to make yourself a little less available. I know this probably doesn’t make sense to you, but hear me out; women are different from men. We are not necessarily more complicated, and try to never make the mistake to say that women are less logical than men. You see, even if you don’t get it, women’s behavior is just as logical to them as men’s behavior is to you. It’s different, that’s all. Let me explain this specific situation to you; if a woman is checking you out, it will make you a lot more interesting if she’s not quite sure if you are interested or not. Also, if you are seen with another attractive woman, this raises the value of your “stock” tremendously. Women are competitive just like men. We like the chase and we like to feel that we “won” the guy’s attention. If a guy is seen with an attractive woman, two things happen:

1. The woman’s competitive instinct kicks in, and she wants to prove that she is just as attractive as the other one. 2. The woman looks at the other girl and thinks that if the guy can get a girl like that interested there must be something about him. Even though men tend to not pay as much attention to body language, women are signaling just as much. You see, this is not a conscious thing; it’s subconscious and we are often not aware of sending out or picking up these signals. When you talk to her, you can learn a lot by just reading the signs. The next time you have a conversation with a girl, notice if she’s doing any of these things: •

Leaning towards you.

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Has her upper body facing you.

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Plays with her hair or jewelry.

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Smiles a lot.

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“Mirrors” your facial expressions and movements.

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Keeps eye contact

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Ignores what’s going on around you.

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Touches herself (no, not like that, Bozo!)

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Laughs “politely” when what you say isn’t very funny.

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Looks at your mouth when you are talking.

All of these are signs that she’s attracted to you. If a woman is sitting on the end of her chair (towards you, not trying to get as far away as possible…), and facing you with her whole upper body, it is a typical sign that she likes you enough to want to be closer. Also, in a crowded place, this means that she is interested in actually hearing what you have to say. When a woman plays with her hair or jewelry, it’s a subconscious way of drawing your attention to what she’s playing with. Unlike with dogs, in human behavior, smiling and laughing is a way to show people that we like them and to get them to like us.

Have you ever heard of “mirroring?” It’s something we all do when socializing with other people. Smiling is a good example; if we are talking to someone and they smile, we smile too. This goes for other things as well. Two people who are attracted to each other tend to do this automatically, but it can also be used to signal attraction and make people very comfortable with you. If she frowns, you frown. If she places her hands on the table, so do you. If she takes a sip of her drink, you take a sip of yours. It is important here to do this casually, you don’t want her to think you are playing “copycat” (this will either make her think you are mocking her or a complete psycho). Use this both to read her signals and send her some of your own. Talk to her in a slow pace (Not retarded slow, just calm slow), she will probably copy this and adjust her speed of speaking to yours. A little tip for you: people tend to be attracted to other people who speak at the same past and volume as themselves. If the girl you are talking to keeps eye contact and ignores what’s going on around you, it’s a definite sign she likes talking to you and finds you interesting. No, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s getting horny, but you don’t need that yet. Women are usually attracted to guys they feel a “connection” with. If she is obviously interested in talking to you like this, it’s most likely because she feels the “connection”. Women who like talking to you but are not into you will normally be quite easily distracted from the conversation. Ok, so you’re talking and she starts rubbing her upper arm like she’s cold, softly strokes the skin on her chest (chest, not breast!), or gently trails her fingers up her leg. What is she signaling? If all of the above happens, she is responding to you physically. Talking to you makes her aware of her own physical presence. Be aware: the first one alone might just mean that she’s cold. Watch her movements; is she warming herself with rapid movements, or are her movements more slow and sensual? Just like playing with their hair, women are usually not aware of doing these things, it is subconscious. Don’t let that keep you from noticing tough, it means the same as if she had done it purposely. Ok, this one is obvious isn’t it? If she laughs when you are not very funny she is trying to make you feel good. Why would she try to make you feel good if she didn’t like you? Try not to get to this one too often, if you deliver lame jokes one after another she might very well get tired of it and no longer find you very interesting.

You are talking and she’s looking at your lips. Or, she is talking and looking at your lips. Only one answer for this one; kiss her! It is very common use of body language to look at our partners lips before we kiss them, whether it’s our spouse or someone we just met. This is a real opportunity and definitely the right time to go for the “lip lock”.

30 Second Tip: If you get the slightest feeling the girl you are talking to is not interested, stand up and smile, and then say, “well, it’s been nice talking to you; you seem like friendly girl.” And then immediately walk away and busy yourself in another conversation or go to the bathroom. The key word here is “friendly.” When you smile and call her friendly as you leave, it suggests that you see her only as a friend. Women hate that! They want to know that they can have you in a minute if they want you. If they are not sure of this—your stock goes way up! Use words like friend, friendly, nice often in your conversations with women (when talking about them). These words will start her wondering—“doesn’t this guy like me?” Remember, women love a challenge too!

Rejection Ok, here’s another little secret for you: Girls get rejected too. Yeah that’s right, even attractive, sexy girls get rejected sometimes. The reasons why someone might reject you are very often not personal. It’s not that there’s something wrong with you. The girl who rejects you might have a boyfriend, she could be heartbroken or in love with someone else. And has it occurred to you that some girls are not into boys at all? There are a lot of different reasons why a girl might reject you. Yes, it is possible that she only falls for a certain look and you don’t fit the mold, but this is not important. If you’re just not her type, there’s still nothing wrong with you, she’s just into something else. It’s pretty much like with guys; some guys prefer blondes, others brunettes. Some guys like skinny girls; others get off on a big butt. To some guys it is vital that the girl they date have big boobs in order for them to be interested. Other guys don’t have a specific type they go for and can be attracted to a lot of different kinds of women. Girls are exactly the same. Many of us haven’t got a checklist when it comes to how a guy looks, but a few women do—that’s just life. But usually the female checklist is all about what you say and do, and of course about how you make us feel. It’s no big deal if a few girls turn you down. Your parents are actually right when they say things like “There’s plenty of fish in the sea”. It doesn’t matter if you get rejected. Try to see what you do wrong and learn from it. In fact, there is a way to turn this negative into a positive by doing a simple exercise… I want you to go out with your friends with the intention of getting rejected by as many girls as possible in one night. Make it a competition and go as far as you dare to put girls off. Try being rude and obnoxious, use the lamest pickup lines you can think of and make sure you put all your effort into putting the girls off. Sit down later and compare notes. Have a good laugh and realize that being turned down by a pretty girl is not so bad when you know that you are the one who made her turn you down. That’s right— you controlled the situation. Empowering isn’t it? Try this exercise, have fun with it, and learn that it’s not the end of the world if a girl turns you down. Try to learn from these rejections; if you fuck up and act like a retard, she won’t have anything to do with you. What does this mean? It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it just means that in order to get the girl you need to change your tactics.

If your behavior can put her off, it can also turn her on (think about that a minute—I’ll wait….). Remember this exercise the next time you go out. Knowing what not to do is half the battle. And if one particular girl doesn’t seem to want to talk to you, don’t give it a second thought; just move on to someone else. One more important tip: in my experience, if a girl goes out of her way to be rude to you or obviously ignore you for no good reason, it’s very likely she’s attracted to you. Some girls feel intimidated when they like someone, they don’t want other people to know and they don’t know how to act, so they try to avoid you or put you down. If you want to pursue a girl like this, you have to go to her; she won’t come to you. The best thing you can do in this situation is to try do disarm her by being friendly but laid back. Don’t try too hard, just let her know that you like her and see how she reacts. Remember, however, that this girl might be embarrassed because you don’t fit the profile of who she and her friends usually like or she might be taken and therefore not want anyone to know that she likes you for that reason. My advice is to think twice about it before you decide to approach her; she could be more trouble than she is worth.

30 Second Tip: Getting rejected sometimes is part of being a man. And all men experience this from time to time. Even movie stars like Brad Pitt and Jude Law get rejected. In a recent interview, George Clooney talked about how often he has been rejected— and NOT when he was an unknown actor, but after he was rich and famous! Remember that if you should get rejected. It’s simply part of being a man.

Looks Ok, so I’ve told you that looks are not as important to most women as they are to men, and that women don’t necessarily even want to go home with the most handsome man in the room. All of this is true, but that doesn’t mean that how you look doesn’t matter at all. It’s not that you have to have a certain look for women to like you, but there are a few mistakes that can keep you from even being considered. Ok, so you want women to like you for who you are? I get that, women are the same way. This doesn’t keep us from living up to our potential though, and you should do the same thing. Before going out, most women invest a lot of time, money and effort on how they look. They put on make-up, do their hair and pick out the outfit that looks the most flattering on them. We make an effort, not because we can’t be ourselves but because we want to be ourselves at our best. Some men have learned that this goes for them as well, but unfortunately, most haven’t. Just like you probably wouldn’t want to bee seen talking all night to the girl that looks like she’s borrowed her grandma’s dress and not washed her hair for a month, a girl doesn’t want to be seen with the guy who looks like he’s been dressed by his mum and never heard of running water. In this chapter I intend to give you a few tips on how to dress and carry yourself. There is no promise that this alone will get you laid, but in dating (as in life) you have to play the percentages, and these tips should increase your odds substantially.

Clothes The absolute most important advice I can give you when it comes to clothes is this: dress to your advantage. Don’t look at other guys and decide to copy their style if they are of a completely different build and look than you. What works for David Beckham might not work for Brad Pitt, even if they are both attractive men. Take the time to figure out what your strong points are and work with this. If you are like most guys, my guess is that you have very little idea about fashion and style, and that is O.K. My advice is to get some help, and this is surprisingly easy to do.

The best way to learn how to dress is to get a female to help you pick out clothes. This female can be a friend, your sister or maybe your cousin, but it can NOT be your mum! Unfortunately in most cases your mum’s intentions when dressing you are not to help you score with women. Accept this, and say “thanks but no thanks.” when your mum offers you that “lovely” knitted sweater with the reindeer on it. Make sure the girl you choose to help you out is someone you can trust, someone who is honest and someone who knows that your intention is to dress to your advantage in order to attract girls. Remember that the shop assistant might be female, but she’s not dedicated to make you look attractive, she’s dedicated to getting you to buy as much as possible. This means that she might give you a lot of positive feedback that is absolute bullshit. In order to get a good style you’ll probably have to spend some money. In most cases this is both worth it and absolutely necessary. Go for high quality clothes that are classic in style, then you wont have to go shopping again so soon. And don’t think women won’t notice either. Status is very important to many women—and nothing says “status” like a man’s wardrobe. When picking your style, it is best to go with something that is trendy but not too extreme. Make sure you get at least a couple of good shirts for going out, a couple of well fitted pairs of jeans, some nice but casual tshirts and a coat that looks cool but not too “funky” or dressed up. If you get clothes that are the absolute “latest” fashion trend, you might end up a little ahead of you time, or you might look like your trying to hard (desperate, in other words!). Go with what is already established as a fashion that works. Make sure the cut of the clothes and the size is right for you, a cool pair of jeans can easily look really lame if they are far too big or too short. Remember to get a pair if nice shoes and a belt that matches while you are at it. No woman will sleep with you because you have good shoes, but quite a few might not sleep with you if you have bad shoes. Women are all about detail, and little things like this can make a big difference. Grooming Absolute most important rule: Be clean! I know there are rumors out there that what women really go for is the masculine smell of man sweat, but I’d advice you to forget about that straight away. Sure, there are probably girls out there that get off on sweaty, stinking men, but the vast majority doesn’t.

You need to aim to attract as many girls as possible, not target a small niche group that you might only encounter every once in a full moon. For most women cleanliness is a must. Even if we find you attractive, strong body odor can keep us from getting close. So make sure that you always shower before you go out to meet the girls. One other sadly ignored area of male grooming is the skin. Dry, flaky skin is not sexy; neither is red sore skin from shaving or spots. Every time you have shaved or showered you should use a moisturizer on your face. Don’t panic, you don’t have to use “girly products.” Ask at the drugstore for a moisturizer that is especially for men, or buy one that is unscented and can be used by both sexes. If you have a skin problem, like spots or shaving rash, you should do what you can to take care of it. Invest in good products that can help the situation, or if this doesn’t help, see your doctor about the problem. The next important step when it comes to grooming is your haircut. As with clothes it is best to go with something that is modern but not too extreme. Choose a cut that suits your face and your type of hair. If you have long hair I’ll tell you straight out: cut it! Yes, there are guys out there that look really good with long hair, but most don’t. There are also girls who like long hair on guys, but most prefer short hair, just like most guys prefer their girls to have long hair. Why exactly this is I don’t know, but there’s no point in arguing about it, this is just the way it works. Make sure you get a haircut that doesn’t demand too much work at home. There’s no point in having a good haircut if it’s too difficult for you to style on your own. If you are visibly losing your hair, the absolute best way to go is to cut it really short or shave your head. Fortunately for you, many women find bald men sexy, as long as they’re not trying something desperate to cover up their lack of hair. So don’t sweat it—it could actually be a bigger plus to women than you think. When it comes to other kinds of body hair the general rule is “less is better”. If you have hairs sticking out of your nose or ears you need to remove it. If you have a hairy back, the best way to go is to have it waxed. Chest hair varies, younger girls tend to prefer a hairless chest, other women like hairy chests. Pubic hair needs to be under control. Most girls won’t expect you to shave it all off, but a big bush is no more sexy on men than it is on women, so a good trim will help you out.

These tips about body hair are especially important if you hope to get a girl to sleep with you more than once, but even on a one night stand you could miss out if something puts her off as soon as you remove your clothes.

30 Second Tip: You don’t have to be a fashion whore to get noticed by the ladies, but it does help to pay special attention to a few items: Make absolutely certain you have a few pairs of jeans that fit you perfectly. Spending the extra time to make sure you have jeans you look good in will be worth all the trouble. Also, a nice pair of expensive-ish shoes will get you noticed. But not too flashy or ultra trendy (you don’t want to appear you’re trying too hard!). Think classic style made modern.

Smell Ok, as I’ve already mentioned, the first rule is to be clean. Next you have to choose the scent you’ll be using. Here as well, the best thing you can do is get a woman to help you. Ask your friend, or go the shop and get a young girl who works there to help you choose a sexy smell. Don’t be embarrassed to tell her exactly what you want; it’s her job to help you out. And, go ahead and use this opportunity to flirt a little. Her job is also to be nice to you, so let it boost your confidence. Try the smell on your skin and have the girl choose which one works better on you. Remember that perfumes react with our skin, so the one that works really well for your friend might not work so well for you. Smell is also under the influence of fashion, so what worked for your dad in the seventies probably won’t work today—dig it? When you put on a smell it’s important to get the dosage right. General rule: less is more. She is supposed to smell you from a couple of feet away, but not from the other side of the room. Make sure you always use a deodorant, but choose one that doesn’t have too strong a smell; you don’t want it to compete with your aftershave for attention. Ok, I’ve given you some tips and pointed you in the right direction. If you go through all of these steps and invest the time and money necessary on how you look, you should be just about ready to get out there.

30 Second Tip: Less is often more with cologne! So go easy on it.

Where to meet girls In this system I talk a lot about picking up girls in bars. There are a couple of reasons behind this: • •

A bar is a scene where most of the people there are out to meet new people. A bar serves alcohol and you are likely too much of a coward to even think of chatting up a girl without having a few drinks first (!)

There’s nothing wrong with chatting up girls in bars. It can take a lot of pressure off if you have a couple of drinks before you approach a girl you like, just remember that the key words here are “a couple”. If you get really drunk, then the chances of you pulling are about the same as if you just walked up to a the girl and stood there looking at her for 15 minutes without saying a word. It might work, but it’s highly unlikely. I know a lot of people say that you’ll never meet “someone” in a bar. I disagree with this. First of all, it depends who it is you want to meet. If you are looking for someone to have sex with the first night you meet her, the chances of meeting her in a bar are quite high. If you are looking for a girlfriend or your future wife, there are other places you can meet her, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find her in a bar too. The idea that you can’t meet someone you’re serious about in a bar is in my opinion absolute crap. I know plenty of people, including myself, who’s met their partner out on the town. Anyway, I talk about bars in the other chapters, so let’s look at some different places to meet women. One thing you should realize is that women are romantic creatures. We grow up hearing stories about girls meeting the love of their life in supermarkets, on airplanes or at the post office. Remember this knowledge and use it to your advantage. You see, most single girls are more or less always open to meet a guy. We check out the cute guy next to us on the bus and at the cinema. We are actually “looking” when we go grocery shopping or are waiting in line in the bank. If you can muster up the courage to talk to a girl when you are both sober, in an everyday situation, it is quite likely that she’ll appreciate it and give her the time of day. Remember, the big, bold and/or cheesy lines probably won’t do the trick here. There are very few women who are interested in the vulgar approach we they get from construction workers shouting at them on the way to work, or the sicko who gropes them on the crowded subway.

I know it takes a bit more courage to approach a girl during the day when you’re both sober, but so does she. Since most girls would never dare to walk up to a handsome guy in the supermarket, we realize how brave you have to be to do this. Because we realize this, and because we are usually not crowded by guys who want to talk to us when we’re not out on the town, we tend to expect less of your pickup skills in this situation. In most cases, all you have to do is say “Hi” and be friendly. Ask her a question and start the conversation from there. Use humor and smile a lot. Make sure you don’t push too much when you are trying to pick up girls sober. Keep it casual, if you are too intense she might think you’re a weirdo and potential stalker (believe me, they do exist outside the movie screen).

30 Second Tip: Body posture is important. Stand (or sit) up straight and keep an “open” posture: arms to the side, shoulders relaxed.

Places to meet women sober •

Café’s

A good place to meet women sober is in café’s. A lot of girls go to café’s alone and this is an excellent opportunity for you to approach her. Pick a café with no free tables. And ask if you can sit at her table. Ask her a question and see how she reacts. If she is cold and barely answers you, let her be and focus on yourself. It’s a good idea to carry a book or a newspaper; if she turns you down, directly or indirectly, you can turn to your reading and act like nothing happened at all. The best thing about meeting a girl in a café is that you are already in a good setting for a date. If you approach her and things go well, you have the opportunity to get to know each other a little without having the pressure of actually asking for a date. Also, after chatting over a cup of coffee or two, you’ll know if you want to meet her again, and have a fair idea if she’d like to see more of you. •

Supermarkets

As I mentioned before, it’s absolutely possible to meet women at the supermarket. Because we are told over an over that we’ll meet “the one” somewhere we don’t expect to, like the supermarket, this has turned out to be the place where we absolutely expect to meet the man of our dreams. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been pushing my shopping chart around looking for potential dates. The tricky part about supermarkets is how to actually get talking. It requires a bit of originality to chat up a girl like this, so my advice is sit down and make a “battle plan”. The easiest way to get in touch would be to ask her a question. If she’s hanging over the cheese counter smelling cheeses you have never even heard of, you can randomly pick one up and ask her a question about cheese. Don’t be scared to let her know that you have no knowledge in this area. Men don’t always have to know everything; we quite like it if you’re confident enough to admit what you don’t know. By the way, never assume that because she’s a girl she knows how to cook. If her chart is filled with frozen pizza and ready meals, she probably isn’t much of a cook. •

Dancing classes

It is an eternal problem in dancing classes that there are far more women then men who sign up. Some dancing classes even require that you bring a guy to dance with if you’re female. This is an excellent opportunity for you to meet girls. Don’t worry if you couldn’t waltz to save your life. If you can’t dance, use humor and self irony to charm the girls. In a dancing class you won’t just get the chance to talk to girl, you are also allowed (even required) to touch them. If your mum forced you to take dancing lessons as a kid, you can now stop resenting her for it and start thanking her instead. Girls love and admire guys who can dance. Dancing is sexy, so put on your shiny shoes and give it everything you’ve got.

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Airports/ planes

You may never have thought of this, but airports are good places to practice your skills with the women. If you are looking for someone long term, airports can be tricky, but there are still some opportunities. If you are far from home, make sure that the girl you talk to is going to the same destination you are. If you’re at your local airport, make sure she’s going away, not home when she gets on her plane. If you are lucky enough to sit next to an attractive girl on the plane, make sure you make the most of it. Be friendly and make small talk. If she’s scared of flying, try to make her feel safe and comfortable. If you are scared

of flying, tell her and ask jokingly if she would be so kind to hold your hand (if you’re not afraid of flying you can always pretend in order to get in contact with her). The best thing about picking up girls in airports is the practice value. If you are out traveling, use the opportunity to talk to attractive girls without being scared of rejection. Have it as your goal to talk to her, flirt and have fun, knowing that the likelihood of ever meeting her again is slim. Keep this in mind if she turns you down as well. It doesn’t’ matter, no one will ever know. Try different techniques. Most airports are big, so if you embarrass yourself just move on to another part of the airport and try something else. •

Libraries

You heard me right; libraries are a potential place to meet girls. Women in general read a lot more than men, and therefore libraries (and bookstores) are filled with women and very few men. Seek out the sections with “women’s literature” and the reading areas. If you see a girl you like, notice what sort of books she’s interested in and ask her advice. Since libraries are not the best place to have long conversations, if she seems responsive you can quite quickly ask her if she would like to continue the conversation in the café across the road. •

Universities

Any university campus in the world is pretty much filled with young single girls. The best way to meet these girls is if you go to the university yourself. You can meet girls in class, at the cafeteria, on the campus grounds and at college parties. The opportunities are countless; it’s up to you to grab them. Take what you have learned form this system and adapt it to your exact situation. If you don’t go to university yourself, there are always events going on that are open to outsiders. Check out the university website or bulletin board to find out what’s going on. If you are many years past college age, you might want to be careful hanging around 19- 20 year old girls. It’s not that you have no chance at hooking up with someone that age, but older guys who hang out at college events tend to look pathetic and desperate more than anything else. Although a lot of women go for older guys, the “dirty old man” look is never attractive. •

Work

If you work in an environment that contains both men and women, there’s usually dating potential. If you work with a woman you like, there are usually a lot of opportunities to “coincidentally” run into her and exchange

a couple of words. Notice her routine and try to fit your routine to match hers. You can accidentally meet her at the coffee machine, where she has lunch or in the elevator on the way to/ from the office. If you do this you have to take one of two strategies: 1. Make sure it seems completely random; you don’t want her to suspect that you are following her. 2. Make it absolutely obvious that you are following her around. Joke about it and try to make her laugh. If you decide to chat up someone at work it is important to be aware that there might be consequences. It may be better to approach a woman on another floor of your building that the one you share an office with. It is also my advice to not get involved with someone at work unless you have serious intentions or are absolutely sure that neither of you are looking for more than a good time—think about it first.

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The gym

The gym is usually a place where you find women in good shape, and they tend to go for guys who also take care of their bodies. You don’t have to have the body of a roman God, but if it’s obvious that you have never set our foot in a gym before you might want to actually work out for a while before you attempt to chat up the fittest girl in the room. The other way you can do it is through honestly admit that this is your first time and ask her to help you out. I know there are a lot of guys who try to use the gym as their “pick up arena”. Personally I have never quite got that, and a lot of my female friends are just as puzzled as me. When we’re working out, we don’t feel the least bit attractive; we are sweaty, we are huffing and puffing we have hardly any make up on; our faces are bright read. I have heard theories from guys that there’s an association between sweaty girls who are working out and sweaty girls who are having sex. Maybe this is true, I have no idea, but that is completely beside the point. If you are comfortable chatting up girls at the gym, go ahead! There are some general tips that might come in handy when you decide to approach a girl I broad daylight:

When talking to her, try to find out what she’s interested in. Listen carefully to what she reveals about herself and remember it for later. If a girls tells you something in a bar and you forget, it can be excused because you have had a few drinks. If however she tells you something over a coffee and you forget she might loose some interest. Women tend to have better memories than men, and we remember more detail. If she has to repeat herself several times, she’ll get the impression that you’re not very interested, and she might go cool on you. Another good reason to pay attention to what she says is to get to know her. When she tell you about her life, about what’s important to her and what she dislikes, you can learn a lot about her. Use what she reveals when you need to figure out what film to take her to see and what to buy her for Christmas or her birthday. If you don’t feel quite bold enough to ask a girl to out to dinner with you, you can try to invite her to something a little more casual. A cup of coffee or a walk in the park puts a lot less pressure on both of you. It’s easier for you to ask and her to say yes if you are talking about spending half an hour together rather than a whole evening. The downside is that the chance of ending up in bed after an afternoon walk is a lot less than after a dinner with wine and romantic lighting. Another way to get to spend some time with her without too much pressure is to invite her to an event that more people you know will be going to. Tell her that you are going on a picnic/ party/ play/ football match with some of our friends and ask her if she wants to come along. This kind of date has a lot of potential; it’s casual, you don’t have to worry so much about the conversation and keeping her entertained, you get to see straight away if she gets along with your friends, and she gets to see what you are really like when you relax and enjoy yourself. These are just a few ideas about where you can meet girls in your everyday life. Use your imagination and your everyday routine to come up with more. I would advice you to save the sober pulling for trying to get a date rather than get laid. Of course, a date may very well lead to sex, but the chances of approaching a girl and getting laid on a Monday at noon are next to none. Another good reason to chat women up when you are sober is as practice. If you get used to talking to girls you are attracted to when you are sober and in daylight, you will have no problem at all doing it at night in a bar.

30 Second Tip: When you socialize in bars, it is important to hang out, laugh and have a good time with the guys there as well! This presents you as a “man’s man,” and gives you a certain status. Women love guys like this.

Picking the right girl Ok, I know that you are desperate to get laid, so this concept might be difficult for you to grasp, but bear over with me. There are beautiful girls out there that are just not good enough! Yes, that’s right; they are not good enough for you. You see, some girls are just not worth the trouble, no matter how good looking they are; they’re just not worthy of your attention. The Princess Previously I have mentioned, the “princess”, and now it’s time to learn more about these creatures. The typical princess is spoilt. Her whole life she has been told that no man out there could possibly be good enough for her, and she believes it. This girl will make you work 24/7 to keep her happy. And the odds of getting her to come home with you on the first night are next to zero. Even after dating her several times you might very well find that all she wanted was the attention and admiration. When you meet a new woman, try to raise your attention from her cleavage for a second and notice how she treats other people. Does she have girlfriends? Does she treat them as equals or slaves? You might find it flattering if the girl you talk to is competitive and bitchy towards other women, after all she must really like you then, right? Wrong! Watch out for women who have no female friends. They usually say things like “Women don’t like me, I don’t understand why.” or “I get along so much better with guys, women tend to feel threatened by me.” Believe me; pretty women can have close girlfriends as much as anyone else. I know plenty of stunning girls who have never had a problem connecting with other women. Most normal girls are not threatened because another girl is prettier than them, but they do react to the girls that walk around with the attitude that other women should feel threatened by them. If you meet a girl like this, let me tell you right now: she has no female friends because she is too catty for any woman to want to be friends with her. So why do guys still want to be friends with her? Use the head on top of your body and think about it… A guy once told me that there is no straight man in the world who is “best friends” with an attractive girl without wanting to sleep with her. Was he right? Men can sometime choose to be blind to obnoxious behavior from attractive women. Unfortunately, the reality is that if she is mean and bitchy

to other people, she will eventually be mean and bitchy to you too. So repeat after me: she’s just not good enough! Notice how important attention is to the girl you are talking to and how much she makes out of other people acknowledging her. Is she ok if no one talks to her or gives her any attention for a little while, or is she only happy if all eyes are on her and nobody steals her spotlight? An attention craving woman will drive you crazy. She’ll expect your whole life to revolve around her, and for you to tend to her every need and want. Now, is that what you want? Although the princess wants your attention, it doesn’t mean that she wants you. Quite often, these girls want you to admire them but then they despise you for doing so. The princess has no respect for a guy that gives her what she wants, at the same time she won’t have much time for you if you don’t play by her rules. This girl is impossible to please, so take my advice and run in the opposite direction if meet one. Let me just briefly make you aware of a couple of other “categories” of women out there that you might need to be aware of; The Old Fashioned/ Religious Girl The Old Fashioned or religious girl is usually not up for sex on the first date or any date that follows after that. This girl actually believes in all the crap she’s been told about saving herself for someone special or how it’s bad to have sex outside of wedlock. I’m not gonna tell you that girls like this will never have sex with you, because they are only human, and sometimes they give in to lust or pressure. The tricky bit with this girl is that your troubles are not over when you get her to sleep with you. In most cases she will feel a lot of guilt about giving up her principles; not only do you have to work hard to get her to bed the first time, you probably have to continue to persuade her every time you want a bit of action. As if this isn’t bad enough, when Old Fashioned girl feels guilty, you will be the one either having to comfort her, or put up with her blaming you for leading her astray. Not to mention Old Fashion girl associates sex with marriage, so be careful or you might end up as the groom in a shot-gun wedding. The Co-dependent Girl

Let me just tell you that co-dependent girl might turn out to be your biggest nightmare. This girl is usually very insecure (no matter how attractive she is, don’t be fooled by good looks) and she needs a guy in her life in order to feel good about herself. Co-dependent Girl defines herself by the success of her relationship, and once she’s got a foot in the door, she not easy to get rid off. Unfortunately, a girl who is so insecure that she doesn’t see her self as worth anything unless she is in a relationship is usually pretty messed up, and this is where the nightmare part comes in.. Remember “Fatal Attraction…?” The Virgin Yes, that’s right! Let’s get it over with straight away: Forget about the bloody virgin (no pun intended)! I know you’ve watched porn, and you may have the idea that what real macho men do is go to bed with women who have never had sex before. OK, I can see the appeal; go where no man has ever been etc, but really…let it go. Not only is the virgin an endangered species (if you’re over eighteen anyway), she is often just not worth the trouble. Virgins are virgins for a reason; they are good at crossing their legs! The problem is that even if you do manage to get a virgin to sleep with you, it isn’t much fun. Why? Because they’ve never done it before, virgins suck in bed! There, I said it. And trust me, my info comes straight from many guy-friends who have assured me that a woman who has never had sex, is just as crappy at in bed as a man who’s never had sex (and I know full well how lousy that is!) Not to worry; there are loads of girls out there that are both pretty and nice, the trick is just to recognize on when you see her. I want to make you aware of one type of girl you can have a lot of good times with: The Independent/Liberal Girl This girl knows who she is and what she wants. She is not a stranger to having sex, and more importantly, she doesn’t feel bad about it. The Independent Girl feels good about herself and she’s even comfortable with the sides of her that aren’t perfect. This type of girl tends to be very sexy even if she is not a 10 on the babe scale, because she radiates confidence. I will strongly advise you to get over the intimidation you might feel when you meet a girl like this, and see if you can get to know her. The

independent girl is an excellent playmate, because she sees things the same way you do. The one thing I want to warn you about is that this girl actually means it when she says she’s not looking for a boyfriend! If you are looking for a girlfriend I would advise you to be sure that she wants the same thing, otherwise you might wake up one day and realize that she was the one who played you…

30 Second Tip: It’s an old cliché, but opposites do often attract. When scoping out the “talent,” look for a girl who seems physically very different from you (hair color, skin tone, features, etc.). A girl who looks like she could be your sister(!), is not likely to find you very exotic or mysterious!

Romance When it comes to “being romantic” a lot of guys get confused, because what girls say quite often doesn’t relate to what they actually want. Don’t be mistaken; no matter what they might say if put on the spot, girls like romance. Our problem is that most guys haven’t got the faintest idea about what being “romantic” really means. Being romantic is not all about buying expensive presents and taking her out to candlelight dinners. It’s not about how much money you spend, it’s the effort that counts. Most girls I’ve talked to prefer little everyday gestures to the grand ones on Valentines Day. If you have managed to get a girlfriend, well done, now let’s try to keep her. As I’ve already mentioned, women notice details, and that’s your key to becoming the considerate and romantic boyfriend. Remember, it’s the little things that count the most. Make her breakfast in bed, leave her a nice post it note on the bathroom mirror, draw her a bath when she comes home and it’s cold outside. Let her have the remote when her favorite show is on and cook her dinner every once in a while. Bring her cold remedies and soft tissues when she’s sick, or make her a cup of coffee when she’s tired in the morning. Little gestures like these show her that you care about her. You don’t have to tell your girlfriend that you love every day, sometimes if you say it too much it can become a habit and not mean so much. Tell her you love her on the days when you really feel it, you know; when you become painfully aware of it yourself. Tell her when you appreciate something she does, focus on what you’re happy with rather than complaining. If she makes an effort and dresses up for you, let her know that you like it. How about the bedroom? Are you a romantic there? I’m not necessarily talking about rooms filled with hundreds of candle lights and soft, slow, love making to the tones of Celine Dion. A “romantic” setting can be nice, but there are other things that might make her happier. A very typical situation when it comes to sex is that it’s mainly about the guy; what I mean by this is that it usually takes a lot longer for a woman to both get turned on and to orgasm. On average it takes a woman 20-30 minutes to get as turned on as a man gets in 3 minutes. Also, on average, it takes a woman 20 minutes of direct, non stop stimulation to orgasm.

If you don’t already know, try to find out what she really wants in bed. If she’s not shy about these things, ask her what she likes and fantasizes about. If she is shy, remember that women tend to hint at things rather then tell you straight out. Pay attention to what she is signaling when you are having sex. Usually you can tell by her reactions what you’re doing right and what she doesn’t enjoy so much. Remember that all girls are different, so don’t assume that what worked on your ex will work on her. This is why it is important for you to find out what she wants. Why don’t you make the effort to focus on her every once in a while. There is nothing more romantic than a guy who sometimes puts his own needs and preferences aside and makes it “all about her”. Ok, let’s talk about gifts. As I told you before; romance is not something that should be kept for special occasions. However, there are special occasions every once in a while, and they do require presents. I know dozens of girls who’s told me that their boyfriend think it’s fun and sexy to “give” them a round in the sack as a birthday present. Nothing wrong with sex, but if that’s all you’ve got planned for her, I’m sorry to say, you are cheap. No, I’m not suggesting you have to buy her diamonds. You see, it’s not about money. Yes, girls like to get nice things, so do guys (remember that iPod or x-box you’re hoping someone will get you?). Flowers are nice every once in a while, but giving her a dozen roses on birthdays and Valentines Day is more that anything else a cliché. You don’t have to spend a lot of money and buy her the most expensive gift anyone has ever given her. Try to pay attention to what she tells you about her interests. If she’s been talking about a certain author or film she loves you have something to go by. Does she have a hobby, or do a sport. Presents that refer to something she has talked about and is interested in are much more personal than flowers or jewelry. Roses and champagne can be sweet, but save it for occasions that are special to you and her, not the days that you are expected to be romantic. What is important to women, much more than how much money you spend, is the effort you put behind being romantic, and that you’re doing it because you appreciate her, not because it’s what you’re expected to do. What you have to remember when it comes to being romantic is that there are no rules as to what to do and when to do it. Romantic gestures are kind

of little statements. Make a statement when you feel like it, that’s when it means something.

30 Second Tip: One key to being romantic is being a bit unpredictable. Surprising her with a compliment or a small gift when she least expects it are good examples of this.

Kissing Ok, I want you to listen carefully, what I’m about to tell you is important. If you don’t master the art of kissing, there is very little chance of you getting any further. It seems like a lot of guys that are inexperienced with women (and quite a few that are experienced) have the idea that the right way to kiss a woman is through attack. They throw themselves forwards and press their mouth against the girls with all the force they can muster. Then they stick their tongue deep in her throat, in a desperate search for her tonsils. This passionate kiss continues with a lot of intensity and slurping until one of them has to come up for air. I’m not sure where guys learn to kiss like this, my hunch is a little too much time alone on the internet, but I do know that this is not the way to go. There is a time and place for intense, deep and raw kissing; usually it’s the bedroom during passionate sex. For a first kiss or as a nice seductive kiss this is not what you need to do. You should hold back on the rough, forceful “tongue in her throat” kiss until she has clearly signaled through doing the same thing that that’s what she wants. As a general rule when you first kiss someone it is good to start out soft. Not too much force, tongue or saliva. In fact, your very first kiss doesn’t need tongue at all. Try kissing her gently with your lips slightly separated – not your mouth wide open, nor tightly shut. Make sure you take good care of your lips; chipped, dry or sore lips are not nice to kiss. If you have a cold sore, it’s best if you get it treated before you attempt any kissing as she can contract it from you. A good way to look after your lips is to get a lip balm and use it. Make sure you don’t get one that is tinted, and it won’t show that you’re wearing any. If you’re afraid to look a little to feminine putting on lip balm, just put it on when no one sees you. If you’re not quite sure if she wants you to kiss her or not, you can try leaning forward very slowly and watch her reaction. If she leans forward as well, and maybe lifts her face towards you it is pretty safe to kiss her. If she is closing her eyes she’s definitely expecting a kiss. If you’re not sure, you can kiss her on the cheek, on the corner of her mouth or just give her a hug.

Back to the actual kiss: Kiss her gently to begin with, and if she responds to you, you can go at bit further. Now you can kiss her a little more firmly and maybe let your tongue give her mouth a quick visit. Read her signals; if she responds by doing the same thing you are doing, go with that. If she tries do something completely different (or pulls away), it’s a hint and you need to follow her lead. Kissing is important to women; a bad kiss can put them off, an O.K. kiss can be nice but won’t make much difference. A really good kiss however, can turn her on and make her ache for more of you. Think of the key word here to be sensual, the idea is to turn her on gradually and not jump her like a hormone ridden retriever. The most important thing to remember when you’re kissing someone is to relax. It’s not brain surgery, and it’s not a talent you have to be born with. Anyone can learn to be a good kisser. It all comes down to practice. If you have a close female friend, you might be able to bribe her into teaching you how to kiss. If you don’t, you’ll have to experiment on girls you meet. Don’t be afraid to make some mistakes. The first few girls you kiss probably won’t be the one you end up with anyway. Try to chat up some girls with the intention to kiss them and nothing else. It’s quite likely that you’ll have a better chance at succeeding if you don’t put too much pressure on yourself in the beginning.

30 Second Tip: Try the psych-out move! When kissing a girl, try going in as if you are about to kiss her, and then turning away and perhaps just smelling her hair. This sort of unresolved action builds tension (ahem…sexual tension). Women love teasing, and you can create a powerful desire within her by gently teasing her in this way.

What you like Do you collect coins, spend most of your time playing chess, or attend yearly star trek conventions? No? Ok, how about bugs, computer games, and science fares? You get my point, if you are extremely into any of these things, or something else that requires a lot of specific knowledge and usually a well developed brain; you are most likely a “geek”. I’m sure people have told you over and over that if you let a girl find out that you’re a “Trekkie”, you’ll never ever get laid. Fortunately for you, this is your lucky day (no, not that lucky, you’re not getting laid yet). You see, even though there is some truth to what you’ve been told, it is also very misunderstood. Most people know that the geeks tend to lose the battle of the girl in High School. Even if it wasn’t originally so, we’ve all seen so many Hollywood movies establishing this that it is now pretty much a fact. The good news is that as soon as you get out of High School, the world changes. As an example, look at the typical reunion ten years after High School. The High School princess has three kids, lives in a trailer and is pregnant again. The captain of the football team is fat, drinks and works at the local factory where he’s still bullying people who are smaller than himself. The “geek” however, moved away to go to university, where he did really well, smart as he is. The “geek is the one that comes back with success, money in his bank account and a beautiful woman by his side. Ok, this is a bit of a cliché, but so is High School. Besides, this kind of scenario happens a lot more often than you’d think. A famous example for you: Bill Gates. We all know there’s no chance in hell that Bill Gates was anything but a geek in High School. A computer geek at that, and now an incredibly rich computer geek. The thing is, if you have a special field of interest, something you know a lot about, this can be your ticket to both money and women. The first thing to remember is that you don’t have to hide or feel ashamed of your hobbies. In fact you need to do quite the contrary. If you are proud of what you do, this will shine through as confidence in your attitude. Let me tell you a little secret: women love men who are good at something, and it doesn’t necessarily matter what it is they’re good at. One of my best friends was a “rock chick”, who hated all kinds of electronic music. Now, she is quite the expert on drum and bass. Why? She fell in love with a DJ. Other girls I know have taken up anything from rock

climbing to chess or computer games because some guy they dated was into just that. The trick for you is to be absolutely unapologetic about your hobbies. You don’t have to go on and on about it. If your special field is something narrow and usually requires a special interest, don’t talk too much about it. If she asks, let her know that that’s your thing. If she keeps asking questions, it’s because she’d like to know more. It is very attractive when a guy is good at something, almost no matter what it is. Usually when someone has a special interest, they also have a passion for what they do. Passion, as long as you know how not to run people over with your knowledge, is attractive. So keep your hobbies, and let the girls know what you like. If you are not afraid to admit that you are into building model airplanes, then we’ll respect you even more. Remember, a lot of women also have interests that are not cool or mainstream, so we know how confident you have to be in order to be completely open about this. One last tip: use humor; if your hobby is weird or geeky, let her know that you are aware of that, but still not afraid of looking foolish. Trust me, she’ll be impressed.

Get inspired! OK, this tip might seem insignificant but you’re just gonna have to trust me. I know it can be difficult to just come up with confident things to say and do, especially if you really have no clue about women. Because of this you need to get inspired. How can you learn what women like? Go to the source; you need to get deeply clued up on chick lit and chick flicks. What do I mean? Yes, I actually mean that you should go out and by books that girls read and rent movies they watch. There is a reason why Hollywood makes sooo many romantic comedies and the publishing industry sells millions of books about single, slightly messed up women. Here are a few of the best ones: Books/Magazines •

“Bridget Jones diary” and “Bridget Jones, the edge of reason”

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“Watermelon” or anything else written by Marian Keyes

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Any book at all that sells to women in millions.

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Cosmo or any other women’s magazine that sells to the age group you are targeting.

Films/ TV •

“Sex and the City”

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“How to lose a guy in 10 days”

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“Bridget Jones Diary” and “Bridget Jones, the edge of reason”

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“Dirty Dancing”

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Any other TV show or film that women love

30 Second Tip: Pay special attention to the male characters on chick shows. These characters are there for a reason: the represent what women desperately want! Model the behavior and attitude of these men, by studying them closely— what they wear, how they talk, posture/body language, etc. Not quite convinced? Ok, you are a guy. You don’t like girly films and stuff? Too bad! If you are going to get anywhere you need to learn two things: 1. How women think. 2. What kind of behavior women want from a guy. Reading and watching chick stuff can teach you a lot. Let me guide you through the few tips and tell you why it’s important that you get into the chick stuff. Let’s start with the books. If you don’t like to read, a lot of the chick lit books are available on film, but unfortunately you won’t learn half as much, as so much of what they cut out in the movie are the thoughts and feelings described in the book.

Books The books Bridget Jones books sold millions of copies all over the world (almost entirely to women!) and the films with Rene Zelwegger were huge box office hits. Not only do girls find it amusing to read about and watch the Bridget character, so many of them feel like Bridget Jones. Take the hint; women feel like Bridget Jones, and there is a book out there called ‘The Bridget Jones Diary”. Do you see a possibility here for you to get inside the heads of young attractive women and find out what they really want? Hmmm… Yeah that’s right; the Bridget Jones books are written in the style of a young woman’s diary, with personal thoughts all through it. Women associate with this girl. We recognize her feelings, thoughts and actions.

Use this for all it’s worth! If you want to pick-up any girl between 16 and 40, chances are she has a little Bridget Jones in her. Reading “the diary” can give you tons of info about her deepest hopes, fears, desires, etc. This is powerful stuff. Marian Keyes wrote the very first novel in the chick lit genre. Her books are not so different from the Bridget Jones’ ones and they are equally informative. Read them and learn, that’s all I can say. Go online and find out what sort of books women buy and get one for yourself. I don’t care if it is a book about finding your inner goddess; if women read it and if you want to understand how we work, then you should read it too. Cosmo is packed with articles for girls about sex, how to get a guy, how to keep a guy and so on. These magazines can be lethal weapons in your hands. Not only do they tell you a lot about what women want from men, they also have special sections for men to get tips about what to do (or not do). Go buy one and hide it under your bed with the magazines you can no longer separate the pages in. Films/ TV “Sex and the City” is one of the ultimate guides to understanding women. Women love this show. Why do we love it? We recognize ourselves in it. I just happen to know that a lot of guys also like “Sex and the City”. This show allows guys to learn things about women that their girlfriends would never tell them. All over the planet girls are “discussing” with their friends who in their group is which of the characters from “Sex and the City”. I’d say that about 90% wants to be “Carrie”. OK, it might be a stretch to claim that we are just like her, but she is the kind of woman so many girls would like to be. I strongly advise you to watch this show and pay attention Take notes if you have to. I know, I know; the women are hot and they talk openly about sex, but try to leave your fly alone and actually listen to what they have to say. Not only can you learn a lot about how women think, you can also learn a lot about what women think about sex. The Bridget Jones films I want you to watch for a different reason than reading the books. I want you to watch the films and notice the male characters. Pay attention to the behavior of Hugh Grant’s character. He is the typical confident male “rogue” who knows what to say and how to act to get a woman in to bed.

In “How to lose a guy…” I want you to study Matthew McConnely’s character. Not only is this guy the kind of man that most women wish they were dating (and not because of his looks), in the movie he is actually step by step going through a routine to get the girl. Did you get that? A step by step routine to get a hot girl! Do you think this info might be useful? Duh! Watch the female lead as well; you can get some tips about what girls not to get within twenty feet of. And finally, Dirty Dancing. Yes, I know, Dirty dancing is not a great film, but women all over the world love it. This is the romantic movie women who are in their twenties now grew up with, and a lot of us know pretty much every line of it. If you can deliver a line like” Nobody puts Baby in the corner” to a girl when you are out on the town, she will find it funny and incredibly sweet. Take some pointers from Patrick Swayzie; yes he’s over the top now, but back then he was cool and sexy, and his “misunderstood bad boy” act got women week in the knees all over the world. Watch the chick flicks and women’s shows on TV. Eavesdrop when girls you know talk about their favorite shows. Don’t let the girls know you watch their shows, (that’s too much like “spying on the enemy”) but watch them all and learn.

30 Second Tip: There is a wise, old saying, “The hungry don’t get fed.” Do you see what this means? People who are desperate for something, don’t get it—the people who get the food are those who are already fat! This is exactly how it works with dating and getting laid. The guys who already have lots of girls, just keep getting more. The guys who can’t get a date—continue to get nothing. But the beauty of this is, when you become a babe magnet in your mind, you have begun a process that will lead to it being true in “real” life as well. Every single time. Sound like new age hooey? I challenge you to try it for yourself. Visualize yourself as you want to be every single day. See all the small details, and feel what it feels like. You will be amazed at the results!