Line of Scrimmage Issue 2

March 31, 2018 | Author: VALIS13 | Category: Sports, Leisure
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Unnoficial Fun League Blood Bowl Lunacy!...

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ISSUE 2

COUNTDOWN TO ROZE—EL BOWL The countdown to the world’s most prestigious Blood Bowl Tournament has begun. Brought to you in association with Block & Dodger, the 2010 Roze El Bowl will crown the true champion. The best teams in the Orcs Hall Conference and the best teams in the Majors will be invited to the Roze-El Stadium in the heart of the Dwarven City of Karaz a Karak to compete for the glory of being truly seen as the best team. The tournament pits the teams against each other through a knockout competition culminating in the final being broadcast live on the Elven Sports Psychic Network (ESPN) for the world to see. To date OHC 2010.1 runaway champions Salkien Kelvar and fleet footed Barron Gedon’s Azeroth Avengers have secured their tickets to the gold and jewel encrusted walls of the Roze-El Stadium. The Red Duke Gang Bang Ball is underway in Oldcastle with some fantastic displays and individual performances entertaining the Red Duke and his entourage. This edition features a special for teh tournament as it advances into the latter stages of the league format. A shock upset in the opening game of the OHC 2010.2 season saw the OHC new boys Fangs of Cthulhu put favourites Salkien Kelvar to the sword with a 2-0 victory. Coach Giorss modestly praised the efforts of Coach Krampus. However he was keen to stress that only the Carnage City Fiends have been able to turn his team over and that the 2010 ROZE-EL BOWL QUALIFIERS Fangs are still in awe at the TEAM COACH METHOD prowess of the pink clad Slaaneshi maestros following SALKIEN KELVAR KRAMPUS OHC 2010.1 WINNER (WE) the Fungusliga North match between the teams which the AZEROTH AVENNATE FUNBOWL 2010 WINNER GERS (WE) Fiends bag a 3-0 victory. Owners, coaches and star players are sharpening their claws, checking their armour and readying their special plays for a chance to fight, to rush and to pass their way to the glory and honour of being crowned as “THE TRUE CHAMPION”.

OHC 2010.2 WINNER RED DUKE GANG BANG BALL 2010 WINNER OHC 2010.3 WINNER PHOENIX KING CHALLENGE 2010 WINNER OHC 2010.4 WINNER ALTDORF INVITATIONAL 2010 WINNER

LEAGUE OF THE DAMNED Following a series of dark and sinister events in last seasons Sh’Elf F, the division has been temporarily suspended by League Chief’s amidst rumours it is cursed. The division, consisting of several teams new to the Fun League, had to be restarted at mid point when several teams disappeared under mysterious circums t a n c e s !

DISAPPEARANCE

all they found was a neat pile of armour and a collection of circular scorch marks. Elysium Chasm had disappeared. RockRidX celebrated the news, but others wondered whether whatever had befallen Chasm was meant for greener skins? Claims that the Kalahari Meercat’s team coach had been seen nearby were denied by coach Black D e a t h .

WARPED The Iron Duke’s Waaarghshintun Greenskins were next. Whilst playing Coach Black Death’s team in week 3 the Greenskins were losing badly and looked like they might be about to stop trying to score and concentrate on killing the skaven. They were, therefore, somewhat surprised to find themselves suddenly teleported from the game onto an ice flow in Norsca! They are still making their way back today. In his post game interview coach Black Death said, “These things happen”.

First to go were coach Lastic0’s Grrreeen Pig’s who were last seen walking off the field at half time of their match against Black Death’s Kalahari Meercats. When they failed to re-appear the referee went to their dressing rooms and found the walls drenched with blood, an incoherent babbling apothecary huddled in the baths, but no team. Coach Black Death denied any involvement, claiming that the demonic summoning tools found in his team’s coach were strictly educational and fully comp l i e d w i t h l e a g u e r u l e s . And most recently it seems whatever struck Elysium Chasm caught up with Coach RockRidX’s Da Great Green Irish YELLOW BELLIED Nobs! On their journey to Coach Odesai’s The Pig’s were then followed by Ely- Orion’s Revenge, the Nob’s stopped for sium Chasm after their opponents, Da a pillage-break and their team coach Great Green Irish Nobs, failed to show was stolen by a TWOC-squad of Chaos up to a game. A war of words followed Hunter And Vehicle Stealers (CHAVS). between the Coaches, with Coach Ig- They continued on foot but it looked narious accusing the Orcs of running like they might not make it in time for scared whilst Coach RockRidX claimed the game. A local shepherd watched as that they had in fact turned up a few Coach RockRidX accepted the help of a minutes late to the game to find that mysterious passing mage, who Ignarious had already taken his team promptly and inexplicably turned both home. Coach Ignarious, who denied him and his team into kittens which RockRidX’s allegations, was overheard scattered into the countryside. League arranging a raid on the Nob’s training wizards are trying to round up the camp whilst RockRidX was heard whis- green-furred felines but to date have pering that Ignarious would pay for only been able to find two. The mystericalling his team cowards. ous mage has not been found. Coach Black Death shrugged off as a coinciIt is believed that both teams struck out dence the fact that the Nob’s next oppoone stormy night for each others camps nents were his fragile Skaven team. intent on slaughter. Local villagers heard screams coming from the Nob’s With half the teams missing the Division encampment, and when they visited the was restarted in the hope this strange training compound the following day affliction might abate. It did not, as

Coach LuRe and his Sheidan Wasps disappeared on the way to their opening game. As they were not due to play the Meercats for 3 weeks no suspicion followed Coach Black Death, until, during a post game interview, it was noticed that a Wasp’s helmet had been used to repair some of the Meercat’s Rat Ogre’s armour. Coach Black Death was at a loss to explain this, once more simply shrugging and saying, “Who can say?”.

LOCKED What could have caused these teams to disappear? What terrible wrath was unleashed on Sh’Elf F? League investigators could not help but notice the continued involvement of Coach Black Death but, to date, there is no evidence that he, or any of the other surviving coaches, were responsible. Rumours of a divisional curse caused panic amongst the surviving teams and although the season was completed without further problems, and with the Kalahari Meercats under 24 hour league surveillance, the decision was taken by Commissioner Valis to retire Sh’Elf for the foreseeable future lest it truly be cursed. Scaramangus the Seer writing for Line of Scrimmage.

BEER FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

A new craze is sweeping the Blood Bowl stadia! Inspired by Coach Psyper’s training regime for the FL South monsters, Khorne’s Killers: knocked Down = 1 Drink Stunned = 2 Drinks Knocked Out = 3 Drinks Badly Hurt or worse = 4 Drinks Dead = Chug the lot!! Many a Dwarven team will be consulting the scribes to see if this is a breach of their Copyright!!! This Mantra is quickly catching on with fans of all teams as they eagerly grasp their frothy ales in anticipation of the big hits! SUPPORT YOUR TEAM, CHUG A BUG

LEGENDS NEEDED Do you have a Legend amongst your ranks of overly aggressive thugs? Is there someone special that lights up the hearts of the fans with their skill? Let the Line of Scrimmage know about any of your players that have 101SPP or more so that they can truly be recognised as the Legends that they are! Email [email protected] with a screenshot of them and their achievements.

CONTRIBUTORS TO ISSUE 2 Big Thanks to this issue’s contributors: Booncabal76, Psyper, DaImp and Thricedarned Further contributors are more than welcome. PM The Claw with any material that you would like included in the

MEET THE STARS... Malagant the Mercifull An ever-present in the blue and gold line up, Malagant is a firm favourite of the Herald’s fans. TALE OF THE TAPE Handy with or without the ball the servant of Tzeentch has conGames Played: 25 sistently performed above expecTouchdowns: 3 tations! Passing Yards:

28

Rushing Yards:

108

Passes:

2

Catches:

4

CAS:

16

Kills

0

Ko’s

12

Interceptions:

0

MVP:

4

Sponsorships:

2 ()

Malaga

nt the M

erciful

Unflinching and uncompromising, this superstar handles the ball equally well as he handles his fists! Sporting monstrous claws and the where withal to utilise them saw Malagant voted Heralds’ Player of the Season in 2010.1 and he currently leads the Fungusliga North Most Violent and Biggest Brute charts! Despite the ferocious reputation of the Warriors Four, Malagant has yet to deliver cold hard death to the opposition, a fact that has earned him the nickname “Merciful”. Though those opponents that are now missing eyes, arms and legs may disagree with the sentiment! Feared and respected in equal measure, Malagant is fast

becoming a Fungusliga great!

GREEN BARRON BREAKS FROZEN HEARTS The Blackspine Manticores were defeated in yet another final by a powerhouse Wood Elf team. Out classed by 560 000gp the Manticores were always going to find it a tough mountain to climb in the final, but for a vital match changing error the Manticores could still have taken the title or at least taken the game to a rematch. Without a doubt the man of the match was the Avengers Barron Gedon. His elusive speed kept him out of harm and allowed the Avengers to score 2 one -turn Touch Downs. He wrapped off a fine performance by scoring his hat-trick and the Avengers 4th TD right at at the end as well.

the Manticores attack. Mistress Pain started the drive by frenzying a catcher into the crowd who KO'd the fragile weakling. But despite this good start the Manticores attack faltered when the Manticores ball carrier was sacked by the Avengers Wardancer. The ball would change hands several times before the Manticores thrower, Morteorl, was able to retrieve it and launch a pass to Mistress Pain who dodged free to score and tie up the game at 1-1.

PUPPY DOG

Through out this period, happy as a puppy with a new squeaky toy, Morg’s violent edge seemed to have left him as he absentmindedly pushed around the opposition, an inane grin plastered to his face. The Manticores kicked-off to LOVE the Avengers and were once again unable to do anything about stopping In the continuing saga of Morg 'n Barron Gedon from scoring in one turn. Thorg's love affair with Mistress Pain, 2-1 to the Avengers. he was invited back into the team for the Final game. Mistress Pain The Manticores were now to didn't give him a second glance suffer the moment which but Morg was clearly over the took the game away from moon to be back in her presence them. Lining up to receive the once more, his grin could not be kick-off the Wood Elf sharpshooter disguised by the giant orange ball in the crowd flattened the Manticores g a g h e w a s w e a r i n g . catcher with another well aimed rock. This forced a lineman to come of the The Manticores won the toss and elected front line to pick up the ball, but he to kick to the Avengers, fully expecting managed to fumble the pick-up and the one-turn TD. What the Manticores was swamped by Avengers players. did not expect was to be outdone in Caught flat footed the Manticores were under-hand tactics, with the Avengers unable to put up enough of a defence to clearly planting expert rock throwers in stop the Avengers from scoring a 3rd the crowd. Before the ball had even TD. The Manticores were unable to landed from the first kick-off, Mistress score before half-time, with a WarPain had been stunned by a pinpoint dancer once more stopping the attackmissile thrown from the Wood Elf part ing move in its tracks. The half ended 3 of the stands. As expected the Avengers - 1 to the Avengers. easily pulled off the one-turn TD to chants of "easy, easy easy" from the BOOTING exuberant Wood Elf fans. The second half went better for the PAIN Manticores as they made an effort to fight back. With the Avengers defence In the resulting kick-off the Avengers committed to defending what looked pulled another fast move when they like the more dangerous flank, the clearly used an illegal time portal to Manticores broke down the other flank switch their defensive set-up to counter to come within a few yards of scoring.

The Avengers catchers were able to cover the ground to put up some defence but they were easily pushed aside and the score looked certain, except the Manticores didn't run it in and chose to foul Baron Gedon instead. The Barron escaped injury however and the Manticores were able to score in the following turn to bring the score back to 3-2.

LESBOS DOMINATROS The Avengers now elected to play keep ball and had a Wardancer carry the ball deep into their own half. But the Manticores were able to break through the Avengers line and sacked the Wardancer, letting the ball bounce free right on the Avengers end zone line. The Avengers were able to rescue the ball and the Wardancer resumed carrying the ball towards the sidelines. But the Wardancer had left herself within range of Mistress Pain. A turn over at this point would almost certainly result in a Manticores TD, but the Wardancer was able to ride out the frenzied blitz and leapt free to hand off the ball to Barron Gedon who dodged free of his markers and ran in the last minute TD to seal a 4-2 win and the Fun Bowl title f o r t h e A v e n g e r s .

HEARTACHE Post game, a group of terrorists calling themselves the "Concerned fans of violence" kidnapped Morg and shoved him into a black coach with the logo of the Sisters of Sigmar nunnery for young girls inscribed on the side. They left a note saying they would free Morg of the insidious influence of Mistress Pain and restore him to his former glory as the most feared Blood Bowl player of all time. To be honest, on his performance this evening they are welcome to keep him. The Mistress has had her fill of belittling this once great player and is now on the look out for a new slave. Azeroth Avengers 4 - 2 Blackspine Manticores DaImp

Slaughterers Bag Points but Tzeentch Changes Their Faces! In a repeat from last season the Khorne worshipping Reserve Slaughterers came to The Arena of Change with the goal of taking home 3 points from the Fungusliga North clash, and so they did. The Heralds once more showed themselves to have, perhaps, the least disciplined defence in the FL North and it was closer to 0 - 3 for the Slaughterers than the Heralds ever were to reducing the lead or even equalizing it. Coach Thricedarned claimed it was all part of a plan so complex mortal minds simply cannot comprehend it. Me, I just think he's rubbish at teaching his team defensive tactics.

DID YOU KNOW.... Until her shocking and untimely death at the start of Season Four, Star Wardancer Camilla of the Danish Iron Ladies led the league in casualties caused, knock outs and own-fan deaths. The latter total of 723 caused when she threw her bra into the crowd after defeating Balatro’s Hammers causing a stampede of fans and the collapse of

There was one difference from last year's game though. Back then the Heralds limped off field having been beaten senseless throughout the match. This time the Slaughterers were on the receiving end of the clawed and spiky mutated fists of Tzeentch's chosen, and the blue and gold clad chaos worshippers took some measure of revenge, putting three or four Slaughterers in the injury box and while sustaining only a single badly hurt linegoat themselves, this in addition to clearly winning the KO statistics as well. Losing the game but forcing the opposing team's medical staff to work overtime has become something of a standard operating procedure for the Changer's chosen. Heralds of Change 0 - 2 Reserve Slaughterers

TEAM PROFILE:

RED DUKE LAYS DOWN THE LAW There were shocking scenes at the official Sh’Elf A opening ceremony last week. The team coaches had assembled to take questions from reporters prior to the fixtures being announced.

Knockers

reply was to the point, “the only thing I respect is a strong beer, a tight hole, and a big pair of tits. So Balatro might qualify, but I doubt it”

across the table to strike the Duke, but instead only sent Sharon spinning off the dais and into the crowded reporters, who either helped or groped her.

Coach Balatro reacted to this insult by laughing uproariously, and it was noted his reaction visible nixed the Red Duke.

Coach Hobnail was led away by guards and it was later heard he had demolished the refreshment tent before declaring that the entire league was a “joke” and he was off to burn down the Duke’s castle.

The Red Duke arrived late, and in the company of the Essex Old Sweat Cheerleaders, who all climbed out of his car- Upon being asked how Oldcastle would riage looking dishevelled, flushed, and cope without the hitting power of Baron Arturn the Apathetic, the Duke yet strangely sated. responded, “Good riddance to the misThe team coaches were sat in a line on erable bastard. We don’t need him in a dais at the front, waiting for the late this division of pathetic scum anyway.” arriving Duke who was, it appeared, Greenies sober! Murmurs of discontent were audible from the reporters eager for another drunken exhibition, whilst the It was pointed out that Oldcastle had event organisers were clearly relieved. never beaten Orcs and were once again facing two teams. The Duke stopped Unfortunately matters got off to a bad suckling on Sharon’s nipple long start when the Duke, who was carried enough to bark out, “Green bastards”. by the cheerleaders so he did not have to touch the ground, refused to sit At this point the ceremony was delayed alongside the other “cretins” as he when a Goblin hurled itself from called them, and insisted on being sat amongst the reporters wielding a knife! above them. It lunged for the Red Duke, but the blade was caught by Sharon, who twisted it Comforting from the Goblin’s hand, and then suffocated him between After a short break to negotiher cleavage. ate a compromise he agreed to sit centrally flanked by Coach Anklegrip and Coach Gallus (both Coach Flotsam denied any responsibility, claiming that the fact the Goblin notably humans) with Sharon on his was wearing his team colours, had knee, sans her top. He then spent the been seen training with his team, and rest of the interview answering questions in between playing with Sharon’s had a note in its pocket signed “Flotsam” was entirely circumstantial. naked buxom assets. As one might expect, most of the questions were directed towards the Red Duke.

When the interview recommenced the Red Duke was asked whether he was looking forward to a rematch with the Pigstikkas. He commented that he had, “never before seen a more useless green cunt than Hobnail. He couldn’t coach his way out of a cess pit”

In response to how Oldcastle thought they might cope this season, the Red Duke declared, “This division is populated by idiots and inbreds. Promotion Pussy is a certainty and I will stake my life on it”. Coach 9ton was heard confirming that the Red Duke’s life was most cerCoach Hobnail retorted that the Duke tainly at stake. had better turn up to play this time rather than sit and watch, to which the Duke raised an index finger and mutRespect tered, “Sniff this, is it familiar, it should He was then asked to identify which of be, I just pulled it out of your ugly fucking Mother”. Hobnail flung himself his opponents he most respected. His

With a slightly bruised Sharon back in place the Duke aimed his most damning vitriol towards the Meat Grinder, calling them a team of, “Scaly shitshaggers and ratteaters that should crawl back under a rock or back into the fucking ocean”. He then declared that he “Wouldn’t even eat skink let alone play against it”. Luckily Coach Pikey didn’t understand a word and spent the entire time eating passing flies. Interestingly when pressed on his fellow human teams, the Red Duke merely grumbled dismissively that Gallus sounded a lot like “cock” and that Anklegrip was a “fat lard munching buffoon”. The portly Coach Anklegrip dismissed the insult with a bored wave, whilst chewing on a complimentary cow face, and Gallus attempted to remonstrate with the Duke, but was distracted by Tracy, another of the Essex Old Sweat Cheerleaders, who popped up betwixt his legs from under the table.

Gangbang The fixtures were then announced and the Red Duke greeted Oldcastle’ opening games against the Badford Bandits with a roar of approval. Coach Flotsam was clearly already planning how to foul the Duke into an early grave, whilst the Duke stood up to announce he would be building a new thrown of goblin corpses! At this stage the Red Duke declared the league, the division and this assembly an abject waste of his time, and he left, taking the cheerleaders, four serving wenches and several female reporters with him.

Has Nuffle Met his Match? Despite his ultimate power, Lord Nuffle has come across a force that challenges his stranglehold over the fate of Blood Bowl. DAMISSUS, also known by the Elven name of as Erind’ors, has emerged as a deity that Coaches must appease through sacrifices of Chawz and Wromantz. If left unappeased Damissus brings sways of destruction across the Olde Worlde resulting in the cancellation of Blood Bowl games as stadia are brought to their foundations. The battle of the deities is delivering great pressure on the Coaches of the Fun League as they are torn between their love of Nuffle and his fickle ways and the fear of Damissus and her rolling pin and sharp tongue! Email [email protected] with any tales of woe brought upon Coaches by Damissus so that the Line of Scrimmage can help heal the wounds!

Gloria Stitz’ Greatest Hitz! Howdy Boys! I’m Gloria Stitz and each issue Bloodweiser and I will be bring you the Greatest Hitz from the Fun League and the Fun Tourneys!! First up is Fangs of Cthulhu’s Cutty Slicer the Terminator’s wallop on World of Boo’s Stick Stab in the Orcs Hall Conference. In a tough match between the two heavy hitters a war of attrition boiled over. Cutty made good use of his claws as he rose from the prone position to deliver a clawed upper-thrust to the open jaw of Stick Stab. A Black Orc with a fearsome reputation himself, Stick Stab could do little to protect himself. The World of Boo Apothecary had run out of bandages and his magic sponge was dry after bringing back fellow Black Orc Bad Bob from death’s door earlier in the match. I asked Fangs’ Coach Giorss about the incident. He apologised profusely for the discomfort of a death in the Boo camp, cupped my right butt cheek and wandered away mumbling about the defeat to the Carnage City Fiends last season! A defeat that has plagued the otherwise unbeaten Fangs! Look out in the next issue for more big hits with me, Gloria Stitz. X Send me your biggest hitz on [email protected]

RED DUKE GANG BANG BALL SPECIAL GROUP A

GROUP A

P

W

D

L

F

A

Diff

Pts

1

Midnight Stalkers (Krampus)

4

4

0

0

9

2

7

12

2

Tiger's Transgressions (geryon)

4

2

2

0

4

1

3

8

3

Green Onions (Steffen)

4

2

1

1

4

4

0

7

4

Ptolemy Phantoms (GMax101)

4

2

0

2

7

4

3

6

5

Da Wreckin' Crew (Coach Franco)

4

1

1

2

2

3

-1

4

Current tournament favourites, the Midnight Stalkers have taken the initiative in what has been termed the Group of Death by fellow Coaches. With three games to go, the Midnight Stalkers are one of only three teams that have a 100% record and have taken a 4 point lead. However the next match will be crucial as they face the unbeaten Tiger’s Transgressions. A win and the Stalkers are in the play-offs. A defeat and the Tigers will be in hot pursuit. Watch this space sports fans!!!!

GROUP B

GROUP B

P

W

D

L

F

A

Diff

Pts

1

Love-Bugs (Hall)

4

3

1

0

8

2

6

10

2

The Tainted Blade (Wilgut Spleen)

4

1

1

2

4

6

-2

4

3

Speed Daemons (Fatboy)

4

1

1

2

2

5

-3

4

4

Nuln Kultists (DaImp)

4

0

1

3

1

5

-4

1

5

Under Empire All Stars (Black Death)

4

0

1

3

3

8

-5

1

The Love-Bugs have scurried their way to the top of Group B, in a so far unbeaten tournament. A win in their next game against Group C strugglers Curious Orca should see them secure a place in the play-offs due to their superior Touchdown Difference. The round 6 game against the Tainted Blade sees them needing a draw to make sure. Tainted Blade and Speed Daemons stand an outside chance, but the rats have the clear advantage going in to round 5.

GROUP C

GROUP C

P

W

D

L

F

A

Diff

Pts

1

New World Vipers (pharoah)

4

2

1

1

4

4

0

7

2

Slaanesh's Lovetoys (Fangs78)

4

2

0

2

2

5

-3

6

3

Deadly Horns (ocmer)

4

1

2

1

4

3

1

5

4

Wisconsins Finest Rats (Dustbuster)

4

1

1

2

5

5

0

4

5

Curious Orca (pazzer)

4

1

1

2

1

3

-2

4

Group C has proven itself to be extremely open going into round 5. The New World Vipers, a rare Lizard team in the tournament, currently hold a narrow lead, but any of the other 4 competitors can snatch a play-off place from their scaly mits. Due to the run in of games for the Vipers, with games against Group A’s Green Onions and Tigers Transgressions, the bookies are plugging for Slaanesh’s Lovetoys to squeeze past them into the play-offs. Though the Deadly Horns will have a lot to say about that in round 7!!

GROUP D

GROUP D

P

W

D

L

F

A

Diff

Pts

1

13 Twisted Terrors (orabbi)

4

3

1

0

8

2

6

10

2

Jurassic Pork Chaps (KillerOrc)

4

1

2

1

2

1

1

5

3

Stinky Fish (Dwarven Titans)

4

1

2

1

2

2

0

5

4

Reckless Love (valenswift)

4

0

3

1

2

4

-2

3

5

Cavendish Convicts (Gallus)

4

0

2

2

3

8

-5

2

13 Twisted Terrors stand as the only unbeaten team in Group D, a fact that has them in pole position for a play-off place. The Lizards of Jurassic Pork Chaps are complaining to the Red Duke about tampering with their training equipment which prevented them from meeting the Terrors in their round 4 clash. The resulting 1-0 default win to the terrors has put them 5 points clear with 3 rounds to go. The Red Duke was unsympathetic and was heard to say “I don’t care! Fuck off you smell like Viborg’s mum’s cunt!!!”

GROUP E

GROUP E

P

W

D

L

F

A

Diff

Pts

1

the good names were taken (alistairw)

4

4

0

0

16

8

8

12

2

Orcymost (Coach McPloppy)

4

4

0

0

9

3

6

12

3

Whispers on the Wind (The Snake)

4

3

0

1

16

6

10

9

4

Horned Warriors (furq)

4

2

1

1

5

3

2

7

5

Hell's Device (JapeNZ)

4

2

0

2

8

5

3

6

6

Snikch's Deathsquad (Nate)

4

1

1

2

5

6

-1

4

7

Weiszburg Ravens (The Claw)

4

1

1

2

5

7

-2

4

8

Zhao's Motorsport 2.0 (Grunkzzz)

4

1

0

3

2

12

-10

3

Group E has proven to be a tough place to ply your Blood Bowling wares! Hosting two of the three 100% record teams (the good names were taken and Orcymost) and benefitting from the buxom talents of Whisper on the Winds’ and current tournament top scorer Mylm’win this is a group that has the fans eagerly checking the Green Square odds! Despite an early lead from Hell’s Device, and a strong challenge from the Horned Warriors, the bookies have narrowed this Group down to one from the names, Orcymost or the Whispers. A crunch clash in round 5 between the names and the Whispers will probably decide whether Mylm’win’s tournament ends with the league stages. In Orcymost’s favour is their round 7 guaranteed win against the disbanded Rhetorical Cheese, a factor alongside the Whispers v names round 5 clash that may see the Orcs secure a place in the playoffs!

GROUP F

GROUP F

P

W

D

L

F

A

Diff

Pts

1

Bang Gang (Dr Strangelove)

4

3

1

0

6

2

4

10

2

The Fey Avengers (roadtoad)

4

3

0

1

11

7

4

9

3

Crimson Plunderers (Naer)

4

3

0

1

6

3

3

9

4

Deathroller Disciples (SorrowCZ)

4

2

1

1

4

5

-1

7

5

The Girlie Soft (invisiblesupermonkey)

4

0

1

3

3

12

-9

1

6

13 Flavours of Rhetorical (Rhetorical chesse)

4

0

0

4

5

12

-7

0

7

Unnamed Team (MonkeyBongos)

4

0

0

4

3

10

-7

0

Group F has developed significant parallel! With three teams struggling to bring in the points and four teams battling it out to get to the play-offs. Current leaders the Bang Gang hold a slight advantage over the Fey Avengers and the Crimson Plunderes, with Deathroller Disciples posing an outside threat. This Group is pitted with stars. Spreath, thrower for the Crimson Plunderers leads the tournaments rushing statistics with 166 yards, and the clinical stopping power of Talanur for the Fey Avengers sees the Elf challenging for the title of Most Violent. With equally tough run ins for the final 3 rounds, this Group has the bookies scratching their little bald green heads!!

GROUP G

GROUP G

P

W

D

L

F

A

Diff

Pts

1

The Witching Hour (booncabal76)

4

3

0

1

8

5

3

9

2

Naggaroth Knives (Thricedarned)

4

2

1

1

7

6

1

7

3

Millstone (VALIS)

4

2

0

2

8

7

1

6

4

The Webway Harlequins (clownevil09)

4

1

2

1

7

5

2

5

5

Gangfoul T16 (flotsamandjetsam)

4

1

1

2

5

9

-4

4

6

Paparazzi W'ores (9ton)

4

1

0

3

8

8

0

3

7

Angry Vomit (Og the Beautiful)

4

0

0

4

1

7

-6

0

Group G is more open than Gloria Stitz’s legs! It would seem that almost anyone can get a shot at glory! Another group packed with stars! Bloodfire Colossus of Millstone is the tournaments leading thrower with 106 yards thrown from 9 completions showing that Orcs are more than just big green fists. Similarly, Maliss Feyslaughter is a Witchelf that likes to get in the mix! Leading the knock downs (14) and knocked downs (11) and challenging the Most Violent (4) she is definitely not a damsel in distress. The Witching Hour, Naggaroth Knives and Millstone are scrapping it out for the qualifying place, but Webway Harlequins and Gangfoul T16 cannot be ruled out! All five teams have a difficult final 3 rounds and not even Lord Sigmar himself can call this one!!!

FOR SALE ONE HAMMOCK RARELY USED VERY GOOD PRICE, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!! CONTACT THE CLAW

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