LifeStyle Magazine Complementary Issue

Premier Issue •

COMPLEMENTARY ISSUE

• September 2004

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$6.95

ip Win ato tr , Cancuicno Mex

Rule

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Making and

Breaking Breaking

Tips Every Couple Should Know

THE

S SWINGER SWINGERS NEXT DOOR Are Your Neighbors Swingers?

LifeStyle Magazine

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INSIDE

Premier Issue

Features Letter from the Publisher ....................2 The Swingers Next Door

Are Your Neighbors Swingers? by Brian Depenbrock ...................................6

LifeStyle Interviews ...........................10

2

Watch Out For Low Flying Objects

A Trip To The Group Room By Cori ...................................................12

12

38

42

30

Rule Making and Breaking Tips Every Couple Should Know ...................14 Single Gentlemen In The Lifestyle

How To Win Success By Barbi Leigh ..........................................18

How The LifeStyle Changes Women By Ramo Kye ...........................................24 LifeStyle Libations

Cool Drinks For Hot Nights..........................42

LifeStyle Paradox

Always Discuss Things With Your Partner ........44

What’s In A Word By Bob Hannaford.....................................46 How To Enjoy A LifeStyle Convention By Bob and Tess ........................................50

Departments

LifeStyle Games

Couples Questions by Dr. R. Lindsey .........................................4

Believe It Or Not Sex And The Law ......................................54

The View

Win A Trip To Desire Resort & Spa ................52

Club Listings .......................................58 Events & Conventions........................62

If It Feels Good... Just Do It By Dr. Ziggy .............................................28

Fashion Fix

Casual, Elegant, Sexy or Slutty By Danielle ..............................................30

Photo Impact

Fun Photography For Sexy Couples ...............34

Fabulous Firsts

You Always Remember Your First Time ..........38

PUBLISHER

Letter From The Publisher

LifeStyle Magazine

|

Premier Issue

Dear Readers, Welcome to the premier issue of LifeStyle Magazine™. The LifeStyle is exploding, growing faster than ever before. Let us accompany you down the path to

Publishers

Brian & Olga Depenbrock [email protected]

Managing Editor

Gary Marshall [email protected]

sexual freedom. This unique publication is presented as the first, high quality, full color, informative and educational magazine of its kind. Designed for and by those in the LifeStyle, this magazine brings the real world of swinging to a new level. There are plenty

Published By

of personal ad magazines, we’re not trying to add another. Rather we are offering readers a place to read about the happenings of the lifestyle, the amazing

Brian & Olga Depenbrock publishers

adventures that others are experiencing, and help for those that are interested in getting started. All the clubs, resorts, conventions and the like were individually contacted and

Printer

selected in order to present only accurate and quality information. Any clubs/

Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. 11776 W. Sample Road Suite 101 Coral Springs, FL 33065 954-755-7338 St. Ives Printing 2050 McKinley Street Hollywood, FL 33020

conventions/resorts that are not listed have either not responded, or have chosen to be excluded. If you’re interested in getting listed, or helping us put together the very best magazine possible, please contact us. The future of the LifeStyle is bright and we feel confident that LifeStyle Magazine will deliver the highest quality information available. Most surveys estimate that over a million people in the USA are involved in the LifeStyle, it’s time we have a quality magazine, with useful information; a public voice for this secret society. We cater exclusively to the LifeStyle, and avoid advertisements or articles that do

LifeStyle Magazine™ | Premier Issue | September 2004 Executive, editorial and advertising offices at 11776 W. Sample Road, Suite 101 Coral Springs, FL 33065

not have a connection to it. This is the place to read about the people, places and events that make the LifeStyle what it is. Be sure to visit www.LifeStyleMagazine.com for additional resources or to become a subscriber. Subscribers have the magazine mailed directly to them, in discreet packaging, with no mention of what’s inside. Alternatively, we will be distributing the magazine, free, at many clubs, conventions, resorts and other LifeStyle friendly locales. Check our website for an updated list of distribution points. Quantities are

LifeStyle Magazine™ is published quarterly (September, December, March and June) by Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C., LifeStyle Magazine™ and Start Your Sexual Revolution™ are trademarks of Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. All rights reserved. Copyright ©2004 Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. Subscriptions may be purchased for LifeStyle Magazine™. Visit our website for more information. LifeStyle Magazine™ will be distributed at clubs throughout the USA.

limited, so subscribe today to ensure you receive your copy. Clubs, resorts, conventions and event planners! Contact us for your free listing in

To advertise please contact 954-755-7338 or e-mail [email protected]

the magazine as well as joining us as a distribution point. It’s time to move the LifeStyle forward, into an exciting new world.

Brian and Olga, Publishers.

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COUPLES Questions Dr. R. Lindsey, www.pleasure-tek.com

A

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Dear Dr. R. Lindsey, We are a professional couple in our 40’s and have been in the Lifestyle for two-years. We have made many friendships and enjoy our “swing time.” However, we also have many long standing friendships with couples not in the Lifestyle. We are open with most of them and they look forward to hearing about our adventures in swinging. Recently, one couple has indicated a desire to explore the Lifestyle and yet we feel uneasy about it. We notice that they are often angry with one another and very jealous. What should we do? Sincerely, Concerned Friends

Dear Concerned Friends, Your caution is well founded. The Lifestyle is intriguing to many people, but it not suitable for most. Your best approach is to have a discussion with this couple and educate them about how the Lifestyle can quickly bring a prepared couple together or tear an unprepared couple apart. Focus on the need for great communication, well developed self-esteem, and how to manage one’s jealous feelings. The Lifestyle is not the answer to a challenging relationship. However it may be a great enhancement to a stable and caring relationship.

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We are nudists in our 60’s and have been swingers for 20 years. Our three kids are grown, with kids of their own. We never spoke openly about swinging with our children, yet it has been a silly little secret in our nudist community for decades. Recently, a couple we have known for many years attended a swinger’s convention and ran into my youngest child and her husband. This is a very complex situation for us. Do we say anything to our daughter? Do we disclose to them our Lifestyle? Did we influence their choices? Should we give them advice? Please help. Signed Confused Parents

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Q

Dear Confused Parents

Love and Kisses, Missing Kissing

A

This is a perfect example of the saying “No matter how old they get, they’re still my kids.” In addition, I honor the complexity of your situation. First, you must ask yourself, “Has she always known that you were swingers?” The answer is probably “Yes.” It is difficult to keep secrets from children, particularly in smaller, closed communities. This conversation would require “intentional disclosure.” Intentional disclosure consists of a conversation akin to “coming out of the closet.” So you must decide if “intentional” disclosure is what you want and is it necessary? Your next question is “Did you influence your daughter?” Well the answer is probably “Yes.” Parents influence their children in many ways. So do their friends, their community, their culture, and their personality. Most young adult children reject their parent’s lifestyle to assert their independence. Yet your daughter has found value in your choices by choosing them for herself. This may be a hidden complement to the example you have set for her. Your next question transcends all parental concerns “Should we give her advice?” My question is “Do you give her advice regularly and is she open to accepting it?” If so, you may wish to speak about subjects that focus on emotional and physical health, safety, and trust. These are always good subjects to discuss with the people you love and care about.

Start Your Sexual Revolution

We are a couple in the Lifestyle and have been “full-swap” for about two years. We have a core group of friends that we play with, and often meet new people at house parties. We know that everyone has their own rules and we always try to respect them. However, one rule seems to puzzle me and I have encountered it more than once, why do some couples allow intercourse but forbid “kissing.” Help me to understand.

Q

Dear Missing Kissing, I am happy to know that you always try to respect the boundaries (rules) of others. Similarly, the depth and range of likes and dislikes, fetishes, and taboos are almost infinite. However, what you have encountered is not all uncommon. In fact, many couples reserve intimate kissing as something special and unique to their own relationship. Although a restriction on kissing is a personal choice, it may have its roots in social and cultural traditions. Many people seal their commitment to one another (often in a marriage ceremony) with a kiss. Kissing is also viewed as symbolic of romantic love and is one of the few expressions of physical affection tolerated in social settings. So for some couples, keeping kissing special is a rule that makes sense.

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey, We have been swinging for eight years and have been part of a small community of “play buddies” for the past two to three years. Recently we have begun to explore new relationships through on line chatting and going out to some off-premise clubs in our community. Last week I received a “stinging” e-mail from one of our play buddies. In it they stated that “I heard you were out looking for some fresh meat. I guess that we are no longer

A

Signed, Feeling Trapped

Dear Feeling Trapped, This happens more often than you think. Many couples get into the Lifestyle only to settle down once again. This is not good or bad, it’s just human nature. We all seek a balance of things that are familiar, consistent, and safe with those experiences that are new, exciting, and a little risky. Some couples will become overly attached and experience feeling of dependence with a desire for exclusivity. Others engage in the Lifestyle as a series of “one-hit-wonders” never looking for social relationships or experiencing sincere friendship. The key is to find a balance that works for you. I encourage you to try and have a discussion with your angry friend. Don’t assume that the individual who sent you the “stinging” e-mail represents the entire group. Think of a way to express your thoughts and feelings and give your “friend” a chance to share as well. Don’t try to convince them of anything, state your case and leave it in their court. The Lifestyle is not supposed to be about gossip, rumors, anger, and co-dependence. It is supposed to be about being respectful, intelligent, passionate and fun. Good luck, Dr. R. Lindsey

Have a question for Dr. Lindsey? Just send an e-mail to [email protected] If your question gets published we’ll send you a FREE LifeSyle Magazine Hat.

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5

COUPLES QUESTIONS with DR. R. LINDSEY

COUPLES QUESTIONS with DR. R. LINDSEY

Q

Q

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey,

good enough for you, remember on those lonely weekends about old friends being gold.” After reading this I was a bit shocked and confused and now I am feeling a bit angry. We have great respect and affection for our “old friends” but we were attracted to swinging for the adventure and excitement of being with new people. Help!!!

Dear Dr. R. Lindsey,

COVER FEATURE

BY BRIAN DEPENBROCK www.SwingLifeStyle.com

Y

You probably see a swinger everyday, only you don’t see them. Chances are that your neighbor, an associate at work or even a family member is a swinger. The sexually free are found in every community, and within every demographic. The LifeStyle is growing and reaching new levels all the time. Only a few years ago, before the Internet era, swingers were essentially a secret society,

Today, the LifeStyle is evolving and becoming more mainstream. As the quality of swinger events, websites and clubs improves, more people are willing to join the fun. The Internet LifeStyle dating websites have proven to be an invaluable tool for couples and singles looking to find likeminded adults. Whether you’re looking for something voyeuristic or a full-blown orgy, you can

The Internet LifeStyle dating websites have proven to be an invaluable tool for couples and singles looking to find like-minded adults.

THE

SWINGERS NEXT DOOR

Are Your Neighbors Swingers? 6

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Start Your Sexual Revolution

meeting each other through dating magazines purchased at adult bookstores. Because of that, it was difficult to even guess at how many swingers there were. Now, on the other hand, we can make fairly good estimates -- based on information coming from a variety of sources (including the Internet). In the past, meeting another couple often took weeks of mailing photos and writing letters before the meeting actually took place. If you lucked out and happened to live near a swingers club, it probably wasn’t a very attractive or “upscale” place. Start Your Sexual Revolution

find it online. Looking for a gang-bang, or some bi fun? You can find it online. A recent search at www.SwingLifeStyle.com yields pages of matches, many of which are within a mile of where you are. Now that’s a swinger next door. Numerous studies and polls give widely varying results on how many swingers there really are. However, it’s pretty safe to assume that no less than onehalf of a percent of the U.S. population is actively involved in some sort of sexual activity that falls into the general category of swinging.

www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

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FEATURE Whether it’s same room sex, a threesome or even an orgy, many sexual activities are included. At a minimum these studies indicate that a lot of people are receptive to the idea of swinging. Most likely, the percentage is much greater. As knowledge and freedom expand, so will the numbers that participate. Even given the low estimates of half a percent -- that equals 1.5 million in the U.S. alone, or about 1 out of every 100 people of a sexually active age.

The Swingers her being naked with his wife. While most swinging is about two couples sharing fun and swapping partners, many swingers regularly participate in threesomes. Virtually all men fantasize about having two girls, and many women admit to fantasizing about sex with two men. As each generation enters sexual maturity, with less sexually repressed attitudes, they are increasingly willing to experiment. Just as it has become more socially acceptable to be gay or lesbian, sexual attitudes toward bisexuals and partner swapping are

like-minded people using the magazines gleaned from the adult bookstores and that made it easy to give up. With the Internet, you’re only a few clicks away from finding thousands of swingers who are just what you’re looking for. Even if you enter a distance range, age range and other basic criteria, there are still too many results to consider. Narrow that search down and you’ve found several perfect matches that are only a few miles away. Looking for a couple with a bisexual female, between 35 and 40, within 20 miles? It’s easy to find hundreds of them on the Internet. Additionally, LifeStyle clubs are evolving, becoming more elegant and attracting a broader range of people.

The taboo that society places on everything it categorizes as “out of the norm” has kept both homosexuals and swingers in the closet. also changing. The taboo that society places on everything it categorizes as “out of the norm” has kept both homosexuals and swingers in the closet. But today it almost seems cool to be Gay. Perhaps in a few years, it will be the “in thing” to be a swinger. Given the thousands of swinger clubs, resorts, conventions, websites, Photo courtesy of www.SwingLifeStyle.com private parties and related events, it’s easy Many swingers, especially females, are to agree that swingers are everywhere. As information becomes more freely active in the LifeStyle due to bisexual available via the Internet, more and curiosity. The man at the grocery store who looked your wife up and down more couples talk about it and decide to give it a try. In the past it was quite may not just be thinking about her difficult and time consuming to meet being naked - he may be thinking about

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Frequently, people in the LifeStyle attend a party or club and run into someone they know from work or some other social activity. Most swingers have a story about just such an occurrence. It usually goes something like this: “My wife and I go to swinger’s parties often and one party we went to was great -until our neighbor and his wife walked in. I was shocked and concerned that the whole neighborhood would find out. After I got over the initial shock, I realized that my neighbor was thinking the same thing. Of course neither of us told anyone, and we’re now great friends as well as neighbors.” People in the LifeStyle don’t often talk about their LifeStyle to others. All seem to be very aware of the unwritten rules of privacy. For that reason, you can feel pretty secure that you won’t be ratted out; we’re all in the LifeStyle together. I’ve personally run into swingers at

Next Door work, at dinner, at a strip club, at a non-swinger party, at nude beaches and in many other places. It almost seems like swingers develop the same sort of “radar” that gays are supposed to have. You start to pick up on things that others don’t notice: the couple at the local night club dancing a little too close, or a bit too risqué. Or maybe it’s the couple at the

that their preconceptions about the LifeStyle were way off. Swingers are not the middle-aged, overweight 1960’s rejects as the stereotype suggests. They are normal people, the same people you see everywhere. They go to the grocery store, to the baseball game and to the movies. Swingers are not sexually deviant and perverse. They simply enjoy their

People in the LifeStyle don’t often talk about their LifeStyle to others. coffee house where the female is wearing something WAY too sexy for a coffee house -- especially on a Tuesday. What about the two couples you’ve seen, and then you can’t figure out which of the males and females are together? Have you seen a neighbor walking from the front door to the car, wearing a long overcoat, in August? Maybe she’s wearing something a bit too sexy under that coat. I’ve begun to notice some couples’ reaction when a sexy lady walks by at the local pizza place. It’s very interesting to see when they both turn to watch as she walks away. That’s a pretty big clue. Yes, swingers are everywhere, and if you look, you’ll see them. A few careful questions later, you’ll be able to confirm that they are, in fact, swingers. We live in South Florida and are blessed with a variety of clubs to choose from. We have six clubs within a thirty-minute drive and each club is packed full of people every Saturday night. Each weekend there are also several private parties, hotel parties and other events from which to choose. With all the things for swingers to do, it’s obvious there are plenty of people in the LifeStyle. Those interested in the LifeStyle who develop enough courage to investigate beyond the curiosity stage are often surprised when they discover how easy it is to find swingers so close to them. Those new to the LifeStyle often find

sexuality and are more open about it than most. As the taboo of swinging starts to lift, people begin to realize it is a LifeStyle that allows them to define their own rules and have a good time without being judged. At a club or LifeStyle event you can dance however you want to, say whatever you feel, watch the sexy girls or most anything - without concern for “what other people think.” The best part of it all is that most of the neighbors you encounter will have similar rules or are at least willing to abide by whatever rules you have set for yourself. Of course, if you want to party wildly and have sex with almost anyone (as the stereotype suggests) there are plenty of people to play with. If, on the other hand, you prefer friendship at first or only touching and fondling, there are plenty willing to do that as well. If you want to go out for dinner with a couple, maybe dance and drink, that’s fine. Then if sparks begin to ignite you take it all the way. Many neighbors may be interested in the LifeStyle but have never done anything of the sort before. If they only knew you were in the LifeStyle, perhaps they would seek your advice or counsel. We have helped to introduce many that were interested in the LifeStyle, but needed a gentle hand to guide them.

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special feature

LifeStyle Interviews Brian&Olga

&Frauke

Olaf

What do you enjoy most about the LifeStyle? One of the best things about it is, that we became best friends. Being able to share our sexual thoughts and fantasies with each other and eventually fulfilling them as well, is a wonderful thing.

LifeStyle Nicknames: Brian and Olga How long in the LifeStyle?

In those 6 years we’ve met lots of interesting people and developed relationships that go beyond swinging. That is definitely something, that we enjoy about the Lifestyle!

4 years

What is your relationship? Married 5 years

What do you enjoy least about the LifeStyle?

How did you get started?

Occasionally, you come across some disrespectful people, who don’t understand what “NO” means. Well, that’s truly not enjoyable and can ruin a precious evening

After going to several titty bars and a few nude beaches, it became clear to us that we wanted more out of our sex lives than a bedroom dance. After many discussions we decided to try going to a swingers club just to see what it was REALLY all about. Our first club experience wasn’t that great, but it got us very excited none the less. After a few weeks, we decided to try another club and had an exhilarating experience. We didn’t “hook up” with anyone, we were simply scouting, but the experience was nothing short of amazing. We began attending regularly, and still do.

LifeStyle Nicknames: Lovers

What do you enjoy most about the LifeStyle?

Which do you prefer in others, a Friendship or a Sexship?

The openness, trust and honesty toward each other that the LifeStyle has added to our relationship.

It depends, we’re always looking for new friends that we feel comfortable with and can do much more than just play. At the same time, it’s fun to meet new people, get to know them a bit, and hit the sack for a one nighter, especially when you’re out of town.

What do you enjoy least about the LifeStyle? Pushy people, that seem to think we ”owe” them something.

What’s the most exciting place you’ve done it? Too many to choose from, but I’d have to say the most exciting was during a party at our house. We all decided to go for a naked walk on the golf course. We didn’t walk very far before the romance of the full moon overtook us all.

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What’s the most exciting place you’ve done it?

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Any advice for others, or those new to the LifeStyle? Our advice is to take it slow, and communicate with each other. There is no reason to rush into anything, there is plenty of time and are plenty of hot couples out there. We’ve seen many people get into the Lifestyle for the wrong reasons or simply jump in with both feet and drown. You need to be in a loving caring relationship before you start. The LifeStyle will not FIX a broken relationship, it can only enhance a good one.

Start Your Sexual Revolution

There have been quite a few, but for us it’s not the place, that makes the excitement, it’s the people we play with.

Which do you prefer in others, a Friendship or a Sexship?

How long in the LifeStyle? 6 years

That depends... Lets say, you start off with a good “Sexship” (that’s why we’re all in the Lifestyle, right?), chances are, you find out that you have more things in common than just Sex and a friendship develops from there... well then the friendship is a big, precious bonus! So, in other words: Although friendship is certainly something precious and hard to find, we do not mind a good “Sexship” to start with.

What is your relationship? Married 10 years

How did you get started? After “sharing our thoughts” about this exciting way to expand our sexual horizon, we decided to take the first step by placing an ad in a swingers magazine. It took a while until we finally had our “first date.” Although there was no sexual interaction, we both felt inspired and our sex life became much more exciting. Eventually the right couple came along and we had our first “real experience.”

Any advice for others, or those new the LifeStyle? In the beginning it is important to set some rules. By doing this, you will avoid getting into situations where you’re not comfortable. Take your time and communicate with your partner.

LifeStyle Your Sexual Revolution Start Your SexualMagazine RevolutionStart www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

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feature

WATCH OUT FOR LOW FLYING OBJECTS A TRIP TO THE GROUP ROOM BY CORI www.intimatecircles.com

U

Used by few, but an attraction to many, the ubiquitous group room is where it’s happening at a swing club. Sometimes called “The Orgy Room,” “The Big Room” or “The Group Room” is the stuff that swinger’s dreams are made of. It’s a common mistake that new couples think the group room is “off limits;” that it’s for seasoned couples only. At most clubs, as long as the couple goes in together and leaves together it’s not a problem. As a matter of fact, it’s welcome. How else are you going to learn? It’s the eye-candy of the lifestyle. Most couple’s start out slowly, meeting a couple and then perhaps going to a private room so the 4 can explore without intrusion. It’s hard enough to maintain certain standards (or erections) with all eyes upon you unless you are a veteran, so suffice it to say, if you don’t want to worry about PAS, aka “Performance Anxiety Syndrome,” you’ll do just fine.

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.” – Robert De Niro

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PAS is when couples have swapped mates, the guy happens to glance at the other guy, to make sure his wife is happy, and, for whatever reason, loses his erection. PAS is when couples have swapped mates, the guy happens to glance at the other guy, to make sure his wife is happy, and, for whatever reason, loses his erection. It can be for a myriad of reasons, his wife is making noises he’s never heard before, or maybe the other guy’s cock is fucking huge! All of a sudden Willie is limp and the guy upstairs can’t get the guy downstairs to get over it!!!

someone does make a gesture to play by touching an arm or leg. You can gracefully decline with a “no thank you,” but realize that being in a group situation already gives a green light for at least an initial contact. Finally, being in a group grope can be hysterical fun! I will close with an experience that happened not long ago. There were 3 couples, all friends in the group room at our club. They

In the group room, everything is magnified. It‘s a hedonistic, sweaty experience when you’re ready for it. It’s one of the reasons we don’t have objections to couples watching. The fantasy “cum-true” makes for great lovemaking later when you’re home rehashing every erotic detail. We all know that sex is more in the mind than in the body, so all you need to do is whisper to your wife,“ I’d like to see those 2 guys in the room last night doing you; one guy with his cock in your mouth, the other in your pussy and you hungrily taking it all.” GET IT?? How do you be BOLD enough to make merry in the group room in the first place? Knowing a few couples that you are comfortable with and suggesting that you go into the group room to play is one way. Another is strike out and just venture into the room and start playing with each other. You may position yourselves on a bed near or next to other couples. Swingers etiquette says if you want to get in on the action, just ask the other couple. You may get a yes or no, either way take it gracefully. Sometimes a more subtle approach is needed. You and the wife are playing on the bed and she is on her back and you are licking the velvet ice cream cone for all its worth. A hand reaches out and touches another body; soon, another connects until it’s one big daisy chain! It’s important to remember NOT to be offended if

all started playing and I mean balls to the wall, boobies all over, cocks flying in and out and all of them were TALKING!!! Talking about the weather, talking about work and every once in a while, talking about SEX! Can you imagine that??? One couple was 69-ing, another husband had the wife on her knees and another couple had another wife riding on top! One of the guys, known for his “outbursts” yelled he was cumming and came so hard he got everyone in the room, the walls and mirrors and even a face or two. Personally, I think Cameron Diaz had the right idea. It makes for a great hair spritzer!

Personally, I think Cameron Diaz had the right idea. It makes for a great hair spritzer! Start Your Sexual Revolution

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Rule

Making and

Breaking

I am interested in the Lifestyle because… I am interested in making new friends

Tips Every

I want to have sex with other people

Couple

I want to please may partner I want to please myself None of the above

Should

All of the above

I am interested in playing with…

Know

Single male Single females Couples only

By: Dr. R. Lindsey

Groups

www.pleasure-tek.com

I am interested in people that... Will always use condoms

Non smokers

Being a happy and healthy couple in the Lifestyle requires a lot of

Don’t use condoms

Same age

love, trust, flexibility and energy. Couples that enjoy the Lifestyle to

Enjoy drinking

Older

the fullest have one thing in common, they know “The Rules.” Now

Drink moderately

Younger

these are not a book of rules on how to find the perfect mate, or how

Do not drink

Nudists

to manipulate your significant other, these are the rules that you

Smoke

Other

create TOGETHER.

Kissing

Oral sex

However, getting started on creating your rules requires some

Light touching/ massage

Intercourse

organization and we hope this article helps to get you started.

Mutual masturbation

Anal Sex

Playing with toys

Other

I enjoy…

Here are two simple questionnaires to help you get started on an important discussion you need to have with your partner. I suggest

I am comfortable with… Voyeurism (watching others / partner have sex) Exhibitionism (being watched by others)

survey in private. Afterword, compare notes and discuss your answers. If the discussion results in an argument, you may want to reconsider

Same room sex with other people

your interest in the lifestyle.

Threesomes Orgies

RULE 1:

Gang Bangs Female Bisexually

Know Your Self: Knowing yourself is where it all starts. There are

Male Bisexually

I am interested in making new friends

Know Your Partner: Remember you are in this together.

I want to have sex with other people I want to please may partner

Basic questions include:

I want to please myself

• Why is your partner interested in the Lifestyle?

None of the above

• What types of relationships is your partner looking for?

All of the above

• What activities will your partner engage in?

I am interested in playing with…

• What activities is your partner willing to explore?

Single male

• What activities will your partner not engage in?

Single females

• Who will your partner play with?

Couples only Groups

An Experience: When You Assume… A moderately experienced couple is attending a house party with eight

I am interested in people that... Will always use condoms

other couples and one single female. As the evening progresses the

Non smokers

Don’t use condoms

single female is spending a lot of time and paying a lot of attention

Same age

Enjoy drinking

to a husband. As people become more playful, the single female takes

Older

Drink moderately

Younger

Do not drink

Nudists

Smoke

Other

I enjoy… Kissing

Oral sex

Light touching/ massage

Intercourse

Mutual masturbation

Anal Sex

Playing with toys

Other

I am comfortable with … Voyeurism (watching others / partner have sex) Exhibitionism (being watched by others) Same room sex with other people Threesomes Orgies Gang Bangs Female Bi-Sexuality Male Bi-Sexuality Different room sex with others BDSM Sex with strangers I will never________________________________ I really want to_______________________________

questions include:

BDSM Sex with strangers

• Why am I interested in the LifeStyle?

I will never________________________________

• What activities will I engage in?

I really want to_______________________________

• What activities will I not engage in?

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RULE 2:

many questions one might ask to get to know yourself better. Basic

Different room sex with others

14

you read this article, then each of you complete your part of the

I am interested in the Lifestyle because…

• What types of relationships am I looking for? • What activities am I willing to explore? • Who will I play with?

Start Your Sexual Revolution

LifeStyle Your Sexual Revolution www.LifeStyleMagazine.com RevolutionStart SexualMagazine Start Your

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the husband by the hand and leads him into the other room for some “private time.” The next morning the wife is quiet and moody. The husband inquires “What’s wrong?” The wife

RULE 3:

Share What You Have Learned: A simple process is to

RULE 5:

Don’t Break the Rules: If you agree to a set of rules, stick to

Take Time to Revise Your Rules: Your rules may change

discuss your individual responses to the questionnaire. Do not

them. Don’t change them in the in the heat of the moment. If

due a variety of reasons. If you are having difficulties in your

RULE 7:

approach this conversation as a negotiation. Approach it as

you feel that you are ready

relationship, you may wish to

an opportunity to learn more about each others thoughts,

to go beyond your rules,

tighten things up or take a break.

feelings, and motivations.

RULE 4:

Create Rules You Can Love With: It is important to create

stop and discuss this with

Illness, financial issues, and the

your partner. The best time

stress of everyday life may also

to explore your rules is

impact your rules.

during the time you spend reviewing your experiences.

If things are going well, you

a set of rules that make you both comfortable. Typically, one

may wish to expand your rules.

partner is more adventurous than the other. As you begin

If you are experiencing a surge

this process together it will require flexibility and patience. Remember, one’s exploration of the Lifestyle is a process. Things begin to evolve quickly and your rules will change over time.

RULE 6:

Take Time to Review Your

If things are going well, you may wish to expand your rules.

Experiences: This is very important. Share what you enjoyed and didn’t enjoy, and what you may be willing to try. These discussions may be the most intimate and

Don’t Break the Rules: If you agree to a set of rules stick to them.

exciting discussions that you may ever have. Reliving passionate experiences can be very erotic. An Experience: The Morning After A couple is lying in bed after

An Experience: Too Much Too Soon A couple is attending an on-premise club for the first time. They shyly watch the activities in the “hospitality suites for a while.” After a few drinks they decide to take a chance and begin to become intimate with one another in a semi private room. Another couple joins them and the environment becomes very erotic. In the heat of the moment, the wife reaches out to the other couple. She slowly moves toward the begins to cry and states “I can’t believe you left the party to

other man and mounts him as his wife massages her back. Her

be alone with that girl. I don’t even know why the bitch was

husband is stunned, left alone, he grabs his clothes, gets up,

invited.” The husband responded in a surprised fashion asking

and abruptly leaves the room.

“What did I do wrong?” Rule review… Rule review (if they had rules)…

• Voyeurism - OK

• Full Swap - OK

• Exhibitionism - OK

• Different Rooms - OK

• Intercourse with a stranger - Not OK

• Single Female - Not OK

• Ignoring her husband - Not OK

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a night of very playful fun

in confidence, the excitement of

with two couples that they

new friendships, or the comfort of

like a lot. They begin to talk

familiar playmates, you may wish

about the evening’s events,

to make general and/or specific

the food, the music, and

revisions to your rules.

the sex. The wife indicates that during the evening she

Either way, enter this knowing

explored her first bi-sensual

that your individual and collective

experience and really

preferences will change and grow

enjoyed it. As she shares the

in a healthy and happy manner if

details of this experience

you work together as a team.

they both become aroused and make the most of the

Dr. R. Lindsey [email protected]

morning. The wife indicates that she may wish to explore bi-sensuality more at the next gathering.

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feature

Gentlemen In The Lifestyle How To Win Success BY BARBI LEIGH www.BlondFlasher.com

T

The lifestyle is many different things to many different people. What they share is a fascination with the erotic experience and the pursuit of sexual enjoyment. There are three major categories of swingers: couples, single females and single males. Couples are the foundation of the lifestyle. Single females are comparatively rare. When they do get involved, it’s often because they are bisexual and the lifestyle affords them easy access to both males and females.

Not surprisingly, single males are plentiful. A constant new supply of horny men assures that it will stay that way. But what does it take for a single man pursuing the lifestyle to be successful?

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People in the lifestyle meet many different ways. The most popular venues are through swinger clubs, private parties and websites. For the aspiring single male, clubs and websites are the main vehicles -- since it’s pretty hard for a newcomer to get invited to a private party. Like other private clubs, swing clubs are “Membership Only.” But lifestyle clubs operate a little differently. In the lifestyle, privacy is the first priority. So clubs usually forego formal background checks. However, once you’re accepted, your character is under constant scrutiny. If you behave badly or become disruptive, your membership will be immediately revoked and you will be permanently barred from attending the club. With that in mind, it’s in your best interest to read and heed the following:

Single (Gentlemen’s) Guide to Successful Swinging.

1. In private clubs, the same members visit again and again and get to know each other quite well. If you insult or offend one couple, the word will quickly spread to others. Alternatively, if you are pleasant and the couple enjoys your company - sexual or otherwise - they will be eager to introduce you to their friends. Of course, swingers like to introduce people with unique sexual

qualities to their friends. But don’t walk around saying you’ve got a 12-inch penis, even if you do. If you really do, everyone already knows it.

2. You will have a better time at parties if you check your macho attitude at

the door. You don’t want to be one of those guys who are standing in the front wearing a towel, waiting for someone to perform for them. Such macho, horn-dog attitudes classify you as a “Towel Shark,” and you don’t want to be one of those.

3. Be yourself, be natural and socialize. Ask a lady to dance and be sure to have a good time, you’re more attractive that way. It’s a good idea to ask the lady’s husband for permission to ask his wife to dance. Talk to the husband and be friendly to him too. Why? Because if he doesn’t like you, you’re probably not going to get anywhere with her. Start Your Sexual Revolution

feature

Single

You will have a great time if you leave your “macho attitude” at the door.

Remember that people in the lifestyle are there for their enjoyment, not yours. Some are interested only in couples, some only in women, some in nothing -- they just like the atmosphere. Some are interested in playing with single men. Many couples are seeking a second

or even third man to join them. The important thing is -- how do you get to be the guy they choose?

4. Get to know the lifestyle, the expectations and the realities. Read the other articles in this magazine, it’ll help. Keep in mind that most people you meet at a swing club are there for the same reason you are. Most swingers aren’t out there cheating on their spouse. They’re open about what they do, and about what they like to do. Don’t go to a party to fall in love, or think you’re going to sweep a lady off her feet and away from her husband. Come to have a good www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

19

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sy of www.Bl ondeFlashe

time and make some new friends. To be successful in the long run, you need to be the nice guy that’s been seen with other couples, not the weird guy that’s running from table to table trying to score. Just about all couples have a set of rules by which they play, and they vary little from those rules. Don’t try to change them. You’ll fail.

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hygiene, right? Well multiply that by ten. Before you go out, spend extra time brushing and flossing your teeth, showering and shaving, styling your hair and dabbing on your best cologne.

7. Don’t assume that because you talk or dance with someone that they want to have sex with you. Don’t get too aggressive unless you get the clear message that it’s OK. When (and if) you get that message, go with it, just don’t go overboard. You can even ask again” Is this okay?”

5. Be a gentleman and a classy guy. Just 8. Leave the pickup lines at home with because a woman likes sex doesn’t mean she likes vulgar language or innuendoes. Good manners and social skills are more important in this lifestyle than just about anywhere else.

6. Dress nicely, like you’re going on a date. Because you are going on a date! When you know you’ll be having an intimate encounter with your mate, you take extra special care in your personal

the tank tops. Ladies in the lifestyle are adults and are not into head-games. They have already heard every line in the book.

9. Again, in the case of couples, introduce yourself to both husband and wife. Do not approach a lady when her husband is not present. Remember that “Towel Shark” fellow? When the husband comes back (and he will), he won’t be happy to see you.

DRESS TO IMPRESS

NO

Printed T-Shirts Tank Tops Torn or Excessively Baggy Jeans Shorts Baseball Caps Sandals

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Photo cour te

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Don’t assume that because you talk or dance with someone that they want to have sex with you. 10. Don’t insult a member’s intelligence with the statement, “My wife wanted me to come here first by myself to check it out, so I’ll come back with her next time. How about you and I play now.” Every swinger has heard that line over and over again. You might as well say you are here to cheat on your wife while she’s at church! 11. Don’t talk about your wife or your girlfriend, how great she is or how beautiful she is. Let’s face it. If she were, you wouldn’t be here alone wearing that towel.

r.com

12. Don’t act overly shy or stand around like a wallflower. If you see a lady you’re interested in, observe her. If she dances with guys besides her husband, or if she spends time talking with single men, maybe she would enjoy talking or dancing with you too. Don’t be afraid to approach her - just approach her politely and with class. Chat for a minute; maybe give her a compliment, then say, “It was great meeting you. Let me know if you’d like to dance a song together later.”

14. Don’t sneak into the “couples only” room pretending to be

while NOT in the “couples only” section, maybe they like to be watched by single guys -- but not touched. So don’t sneak your hand in there to “grab a piece”

If someone tells you “NO” that’s all there is to it. Don’t ask, “Why not?” with a couple. If a couple wanted to be involved with a single man, then they would be on the “single” side of the room. And if they wanted you to join them, they would invite you. If a couple is engaged in a threesome or foursome

thinking that she won’t know whose hand it is. Even if she doesn’t know, he and other involved partners will know and will have you quickly removed from the club.

15. If someone says NO, that’s all there is to it. Don’t ask them, “Why not?” or “Are you sure -- I’m the greatest lover in the world?” Actually this is Rule 1, 2, 3, 4……... The most important rule of the lifestyle is NO MEANS NO.

Approaching a woman that way makes it easy for her to approach you later.

13. Drink in moderation. Lifestyle events are social gatherings, not boozing parties. Needless to say, alcohol and erections don’t go very well together. So if you drink too much, you will not only act stupidly and belligerently, you will also be unable to get an erection to save your life and you will wind up making a complete fool out of yourself.

Photo courtesy of www.TrapezeClub.com

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feature 16. Don’t touch without permission. Do not touch. We know what that means.

17. Do not go to the club with a group of buddies. Even if it’s true that some women enjoy multiple male partners and enjoy a “gang-bang” -- they don’t need you to provide the “gang.” If you only feel comfortable with a group of friends, then go to a hockey game or a titty bar.

18. Most people in the club have a partner. Include them in your conversation when appropriate. 19. Pay attention to non-verbal signals, the ones you interpret as positive or negative. Body language speaks much louder than words. Act accordingly.

20. If you’re unsure about proper behavior and etiquette in Photo courtesy of www.TrapezeClub.com a particular situation or what’s it with you to a trash can. Never leave allowed, ASK. Go to the front desk of a it where you took it off or you will be club, or ask the host at a party. invited to leave and not come back (and you might end up wearing its contents 21. Admission to a club or party DOES on your head.) All in all, it’s simple. Act NOT guarantee that you will have sex, like a gentleman, be classy, be friendly, but only that you will be admitted. and treat people well. Everyone has a No one owes you anything and you much better evening if the ladies have shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. a fun time, and if they do, then you’ve The most annoying thing couples report got a great chance at having a really is that single males seem to think they fun time with them. are owed something because they paid to get in. Keep in mind that the couples The true gentleman and classy guy in paid to get in too. the swinging lifestyle is non-threatening to the female spouse’s virility. He’s 22. Always dispose of used condoms happy to be sharing in the encounter in the trash. Yes, this mean that when and he doesn’t try to monopolize it. He you are through with it you must carry is also a friend of BOTH spouses and

treats both with respect. If you follow these guidelines, you should have a great time and make lots of new, very sexy friends. And if you want to know more about what it is to be a classy guy and have the greatest success meeting couples -- check out the next issue of LifeStyle Magazine and read “What To Expect”, an article for couples and singles who have never been to a swing club. Also, look for future articles with “Questions & Answers.” This additional information will help you better understand single ladies and couples and what they are thinking.

All in all, it’s real simple; be a gentleman, be classy, be friendly, and treat people well. 22

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She was discovering an amazing thing, men, all kinds of men, found her to be very sexy. women who have reached an age where they’ve forgotten how to giggle. So, is this a view thrust on women, by men? Or is this a view that women incorporate, regardless of how they are treated? Most men would probably agree, that this feeling that women have is not reflective of how men truly view them. Though, it is a view reinforced many times daily, with newspaper and television advertisements that feature too many thin, young blondes.

jockey, being considered physically desirable was something she’d given up on. Entering the lifestyle was a difficult process for her. And, since I was new to it as well, I wasn’t able to guide her along very well. But soon, given the circumstances we were putting ourselves into, other men were enjoying her, and she, them. Unless you’ve been through it, the intensity of the emotions we both

encountered are impossible to describe. “Nervous” just isn’t enough of a word to explain how you feel while driving over to meet new and potential play-partners. “Excited” can’t encompass the feelings just before the first foreign touch. “Satisfied” would do an injustice to the feeling of contentment one has the day, or week, afterward. The first indirect change for Lara was with her wardrobe. She couldn’t well be

But, luckily, there is a cure for this - the lifestyle.

How The

LifeStyle Changes Women

Our own relationship provides a startling transformation. Lara was in her early forties when we began playing. We’d spoken about it for years, but she was hesitant, if not downright petrified, by the idea. We’d been together for a dozen years or so. We still had great sex, though it was more of a weekly affair that had turned somewhat predictable. She’d grown shy as she’d aged. She rarely undressed unless she were alone. She locked the bathroom door when she showered. She took to wearing baggy jeans and blouses that did much to hide her form. We made love with the lights turned off.

By Ramo Kye

Slowly but consistently, the direction our life was taking became clear. We were turning into our parents.

M

Many women have a hard time keeping up in a man’s world. Mass-market culture offers a feminine standard that is far too hard for most to match. Not only are they expected to be free of blemishes, as thin as they are busty, and otherwise attractive, from their styled hair down to their painted toenails, they’re usually also expected to be charming, witty, compliant and well employed. It’s a hard enough icon to emulate when women are young. But, as they age, it becomes even more difficult. Once a woman is past the mid-thirties, our culture generally denies that they have very much sex appeal remaining. The mirror view they get of themselves consists of streaks of new wrinkles, weight that just won’t go away, and strands of gray hair. Sure, the same thing happens to men, and there are words for this - distinguished, mature, noble. But women seem to go from “young” straight to “elderly.” But wait! Lots of guys are attracted to mature women. Many men prefer women that are not too skinny, women who defy the norm with their hairstyles or makeup and

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Eventually, Lara agreed to try some soft play with others. And her transformation began from there. We started placing on-line ads and soon began hearing from interested couples and single men. We moved slowly from there. We got to know people through e-mails, chats and phone calls, before meeting. After meeting, we normally moved even slower. Our first few encounters barely had enough action to make a monk blush. But, she was discovering an amazing thing, men, all kinds of men, found her to be very sexy. While Lara is an extremely intelligent, knowledgeable woman who, if given half a chance, can quip and banter faster and better than a morning disc Start Your Sexual Revolution

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LifeStyle Departments meeting people for sexual play in the intentionally frumpy outfits that filled out her wardrobe. Suddenly mini-skirts, garter belts, nylons and tall, leather boots started showing up in the closet and dresser drawers.

sex life had been prior to the lifestyle. We seek out new experiences with each other - just to be sure we are able to try them together before we are caught sharing them with others. The foreplay

Sex between us is more frequent, more intense and more satisfying.

Then, her shyness with me rapidly vanished. It had to. How could she be stripped naked in front of near strangers and then deny me the chance to see her the same way in our own home? How could she handle another man’s hard-on, and not lend me a squeeze on her way by? She stopped wearing panties and a bra with every outfit. Rather than locking the bathroom door, she began inviting me into the shower with her. Whenever the weather allowed, she’d sleep in the nude, and hum all night long. And sex with each other? Hot damn! Like it has never been before. Only now are we even able to realize how stale our

of soft touches and gentle smiles can last from noon until midnight. I never know when, suddenly, she’ll admit that she’s

been trapped in an erotic fantasy, and proves it by being wet to my touch. At times, we make love until the alarm clock beckons us to work.

LD

W

elcome to LifeStyle Magazine Departments. Here we

Sex between us is more frequent, more intense and more satisfying. While Lara used to have multiple orgasms, they pale compared to the enduring chain of climaxes she now experiences. She used to beg me to stop when her coming overtook her rationalism. Now, she begs me for more.

feature a section of ongoing columns to help educate

When the kids aren’t around, and the windows are closed, all we talk about is sex. When we’ll have it again. How great it was last time. Who’s next.

our Departments section now and in the future.

people about hot topics in the LifeStyle. Our goal here is to shine a light on such topics as photography, fashion, heath and so much more. We hope you enjoy

So, in the end, the lifestyle experience has had as much to do with convincing Lara that other men found her attractive, as it did with her to realize that I, her mate, her lover, her partner, have always thought of her that very same way.

PAGES

28-29

theview with Dr. Ziggy

If It Feels Good... Just Do It: The Threat of Sex and Sexuality...

PAGES

30-33

FaSHIONfix

Casual, Elegant, Sexy or Slutty, it all depends...

PAGES

34-37 Fun photography for sexy couples: Taking great pictures is cheap and easy!

PAGES

38-41

FabulouS FirStS

You always remember your first time. True for individuals. True for couples.

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theview with Dr. Ziggy

Yet, I am continually amazed to see how uncomfortable people look when the word sex is uttered in their presence. Judging from their reactions, it’s easy to assume that the word “sex” immediately unleashes a chain gathering event that is sure to infect everyone in the room and may eventually wipe out the entire world population. Of course, psychological wisdom infers that anxietyprovoking events (including ideas) trigger defense mechanisms that protect us from the threats of those events. But why is sex - a wonderful and blissful experience in most instances – so often perceived as an anxiety and stress-producing event?

morality, socially acceptability, and deviancy -- are all closely identified with sex in the language and attitudes of our culture. Sex has become a control mechanism and a tool of cultural conformity. However, we must transcend these narrow views and look at sexuality with a more logical approach. Here are some questions to illustrate my point: • What is the function of sex? Is there just one? • Should sex be exclusively heterosexual or is homosexual sexual behavior “normal?” Where does that leave bisexuality? • What’s the relationship between sex, love, intimacy, and marriage?

• What is the connection between sex and moral character?

Everyone knows what sex is and that it’s main purpose is reproduction. Right?

• Is it OK to get laid more than twice a day, or do we have to have a fixed schedule?

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Wrong. There’s another aspect to sex – pleasure. That’s where the trouble begins. Think about it.

But because sex is pleasurable (some say the ultimate) we not only have volunteers lining up for it, we even have some who are willing to die for it. Consider this: the adultery rate in countries that punish it with the death penalty is about the same as it is in countries that don’t punish it at all. Now, we proceed to the complicated part. In our society, sex has been highjacked by religion and politics under the pretense of Sexual Ethics. Ideas about

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Then came Christianity. Drawing on the ideas of the Greeks, Christianity added some of their own – namely the very clever story about a man, a woman, a serpent, and an “apple” (a metaphor for sex), which resulted in the expulsion from Paradise and the idea of Original Sin. Henceforth, in the prevailing western consciousness, sex was sin and women were considered villains. So now you have it. That’s how Sexual Ethics became prohibitions and sex became Guilt. Over two thousand years, the Church and the State

created taboos and passed laws to control the sexual behavior of citizens. They knew that sex was the means to control the masses. That is why today, sex is still a “taboo” topic of conversation and makes people so uncomfortable. We’re afraid that people will learn about our secret, forbidden fantasies and the desires of our rich imaginations. But wait a minute. Did we forget that sex is about biology? The lack of sexual openness and acceptance is a major reason why swingers still go up to the attic to play and make sure no one sees them; this in an era when homosexuals have come out of the closet in droves. Time to wrap it up, so, my final thought on the matter. If it feels good – just do it.

• Can sex be independent of emotional feelings?

The answer is simple, yet complicated. Let’s start with the “simple” part:

If sex was really unpleasant, how many people do you think would want to do it? Certainly, we wouldn’t be lining up to do the “nasty deed.” (Perhaps not even the most ardent disciples of S&M would step up to that plate.)

impure, like sex) and the spiritual and aesthetic (no sex), which meant that bodily pleasure was devalued and the ideal of self-denial was elevated. To Plato, sex was just a distraction from more “intellectual” pursuits – in short, a necessary evil.

with Dr. Ziggy

Why is it that merely mentioning the word “sex” makes people so uncomfortable? After all, sex is perfectly natural, the biological requirement for procreation.

The Threat of Sex and Sexuality...

theview

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If it Feels Good... Just Do It:

Obviously, ideas about sexual behavior can get very, very complicated. Suffice to say, sex has become inextricably intertwined with philosophy, religion and politics. No lesser man than the great Sigmund Freud long ago hypothesized that sexual repression was at the root of neuroticism and hysteria. Today, science tells us otherwise. However, repressed sexual feelings are recognized as a contributor to many psycho pathologies and can also affect other (physiological) medical conditions, such as ulcers, high blood pressure and even heart disease. The intertwining of sexuality with philosophy and religion is nothing new. In ancient times, the Greeks and Romans believed that the body and the mind were separate entities. This “dualistic” view distinguished between the physical (and

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Casual,

height, but will you look out of place in 6” platforms at the neighborhood coffee house? What if you all decide to go for a long romantic walk? For both of you, unless you are meeting on the beach, flip flops and tennis shoes are Don’t choices.

Elegant,

Sexy or Slutty,

it all depends...

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Photo courtesy of www.shopfantasy.com

HOT HOT HOT

mystery to your look. For him, conservative is also better. Men have the advantage. They can be Mr. GQ on the outside and have a very hot pouch underneath.

We have been invited by a couple we’ve just met to a house party. What do we wear?

We have never attended a club… what should we wear?

By DANIELLE www.shopfantasy.com

Many clubs have a dress code and they may have a theme party planned for the night you are attending. Check with the club for these particulars. Do dress as if you are going to meet your fantasy couple. If you always try to look your best, you will never have that “Oh my gosh, they are so Hot, why did I dress like this” feeling. If there is no theme, Saturday night at a club is your night to shine brightly. A little black dress is always #1, but you can be glitzy with rhinestones or casual sexy in a denim mini skirt and sexy blouse. This is the night to bring out the 6” platforms, the rhinestone earrings, belly rings and belly chains. Rhinestones and rhinestone belly chains are, by the way, very hot for the fall and Holiday season.

The most important thing to remember is to treat meeting with someone for the first time as a “First Date.” Look your best, as first impressions are truly

DRESSING SEXY IS FUN AND A GOOD CHOICE, BUT BE CONSIDERATE OF THE HOST’S NEIGHBORS.

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lasting impressions. Because first dates are about the unknown, you might indulge your own romantic fantasies by selecting outfits in which you feel you look your best. Choose fashions that show your best assets to their advantage without revealing too much. A “slut look” for your first date is not your best choice. Attire all depends on your personality, the other couples personality, and where you are meeting.

Don’t forget about shoes. Ladies, very high heels can be very flattering to the leg and add some sought after

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Always feel free to ask the host what type of attire they would prefer. Private home parties vary in appropriate dress. Depending on the host and type of party, dresses, tops and skirts or pants and even costumes are appropriate. If there is no special theme for this home party, choose a dress, skirt or pants, depending on what you feel comfortable wearing (Note: Don’t wear ripped or torn jeans and t-shirts unless you have been

Start Your Sexual Revolution

instructed to by the host). Because these are people you have just met, do dress a little on the conservative side. It is far more comfortable to unbutton or remove an article than to feel as though you are very “under” or “un” dressed.

SIZZLIN STYLES

We’ve been talking with another couple and we’ve decided to meet. What should we wear?

Keep in mind the location. Do dress appropriately for the venue. Are you meeting in a coffee house, restaurant or other public location? Be sexy in your short skirt, but leave the micro mini in the closet. A little cleavage can be a good thing. Being almost bare at a public venue is a definite Don’t. For him, again, look your best and keep in mind where you are meeting. Slacks and a nice shirt are always appropriate. Guys, no matter how comfortable those jeans and sneakers are, avoid the temptation and leave them at home.

FaSHIONfix

FaSHIONfix

Dressing sexy is fun and a good choice, but be considerate of the host’s neighbors. Remember, the host will still live there after the party. If you choose something very revealing, you might try a shawl or cape that would add to your outfit, but will hide what you want to show until you get inside. Shawls and capes also add a little drama and

Get the most out of a theme night… join in the fun and dress all the way. Yes, that means you too, male half of the couple. Dressing as a Naughty School Girl and the Headmaster, The Pirate and The Wench or whatever the theme, can add

playful fun to meeting other couples. Let your imagination go wild and it just might lead to even more imagination later.

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FaSHIONfix LifeStyle Departments

Me! Oh, OK not me… take your sexiest things from the most casual to the slinkiest and from the least to the skimpiest. That just about covers it and does not cover you! Remember it is HOT down there in more ways than one. Daytime apparel, in most resorts you will find to be fairly open. Topless beaches and pools, nude beaches, and semi nude fun abounds. Bright neons and colorful print fabrics are perfect for the island moods. Many resorts have special theme nights. Find out what these special nights are from your travel agent or online through the resort’s website. Do plan to dress for these nights. Many couples do and the fun seems to follow them. Not every night requires a costume. Some are sexy dressy and some are sexy casual. All nights are Sexy with a capital S. Take that long see through dress you have been Photo courtesy of www.shopfantasy.com dying to wear and have not had the right occasion. It will be One recommendation, especially on theme nights, leave a perfect for the resort. Find costumes or casual wear that change of clothes in the car. You don’t want to be the ONE you are both comfortable with and go for the fun of it. couple that mixed up the dates and is dressed in a toga. Enjoy yourself. You can both just be yourself at the resort without worries. Don’t worry… Be happy!

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Lingerie is for every night, not just special occasions. A surprise this fall for the ladies is everything adorned with ribbons and bows in a wonderful return to sexy adolescence. Gentlemen, animal prints always bring out those “instincts” when used in silk boxers, boxer briefs and hot hot thongs. Make your lady growl.

We are headed for the Hottest Fall on Record. Ladies and gentleman, to feel your hottest… Highlight your favorite body part. Do you realize that the part of you that you that you like best is usually your sexiest part. Whether it is your neck, shoulders, chest, flat belly, perfect bottom or long long legs? If it makes you feel your sexiest, highlight it and go for it!

The best for the fall

YOU WILL FIND ANIMALISTIC ANIMAL PRINTS IN WARM EARTH TONES ON ONE END OF THE SPECTRUM AND NEON NEONS ON THE OTHER. Style out this fall in Basic Black or Angelic White… The little black dress is a must, unless you look ravishing in white… the suggestive innocent look can be very sensual. You will find Animalistic Animal Prints in warm earth tones on one end of the spectrum and Neon Neons on the other. Both groupings are perfect for the fall for men or women. Try Passionate Pink and Sapphire Blue with uneven hems on short or long skirts. Sexy boy shorts, halters, flare legged and split pants are important parts of her fall casual wardrobe. For the men, Basic Black and White are very sexy, especially when done in microfibre and just a little see through.

The best for the fall… Custom Corsets made of silk, brocade, satin and velvet are designed to be worn on the outside and are perfect with velvet or silk skirts, both long and short. Don’t forget a casual-dressy look of pairing a trim pair of slacks or dressy jeans with a silk corset. Long and glittering gowns, and short and sassy cocktail dresses, the more glittery the better are important assets to your fall party wardrobe and will carry on into the Holidays.

FaSHIONfix

We have won a trip to a Resort in Jamaica… What should we take?

FALL FORECAST!

Custom Corsets made of silk

FIND COSTUMES OR CASUAL WEAR THAT YOU ARE BOTH COMFORTABLE WITH AND GO FOR THE FUN OF IT.

Hot Hot Red, green and burgundy are your best bets for the Holiday. Rhinestones will be Photo courtesy of www.shopfantasy.com found everywhere and on everything! Jeweled ears, necks, bodices, waists, ankles and feet will make you the spotlight of the night. Heels, heels and more heels in bright colors, faux animal skins, pointed toes, open heels and platforms. Select a heel that shows your legs off to perfection, add your favorite outfit and strut your sexy self. For all occasions relax, look and feel touchable.

IT’S ALL ABOUT STYLE

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Another handy feature to have in a digital camera would be the ability to take short video clips. Video clips eat up memory very fast though! So you’ll usually need to be short and sweet when taking videos. Again, the “size” of your pictures also influences how many shots your camera can hold. Usually one or two megapixels will suffice for leisure situations. But if you plan to print any of your pictures, the higher the resolution, the better. Most budget cameras are capable of taking pictures of at

Fun photography for sexy couples: Taking great pictures is cheap and easy!

Again, the point is to maximize your experience and above all, have fun. A little bit of planning can add to the experience and even the excitement level. We’ve all seen photographs that people post on the Internet that look bland, boring and are sometimes just rude. (We’re guilty of this ourselves actually.) The fact is, most people can take good, even great shots with only a little thought, creativity and preparation. You needn’t hire a professional photographer to get professional results. There are simple steps and things to keep in mind that can ensure great shots and make for an exciting experience. Anyone can take a beautiful photograph and be a glamorous model. Some of the most important things to keep in mind are also the simplest.

Cluttered areas take away from a photo

By Emmanuelle and John www.BluNun.com/sex

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Your surroundings are one consideration. Just keep in mind what looks appealing and professional. The shirt, socks and pants that you may have just flung over the bed post don’t really make for an appealing backdrop, unless you’re going for that “spontaneously messy” look. Instead, a nicely made bed and tidy surroundings look much better. If necessary, just shove all the junk under the bed! Or you could always go to a nice hotel. That could make for an exciting evening, especially if a sexy rendezvous is involved!

Clean surroundings make for a better photo

Snapping pictures has always been a fun pastime for many people. The problem was that for most of us, and you know who you are, it was difficult if not impossible to get a roll of film developed that had your more, let’s just say, “intimate” shots on it. So bravo to whomever invented the digital camera! Now we can be “as nasty as we wanna be” without the fear of obnoxious photo clerks, prints being discovered in our closets or other unnerving situations… The freedom that they offer us is so liberating that they’re truly worth the investment. If you haven’t already done so, you should run out and get a digital camera today. And for those of you who already have one -- start putting it to good use! Photo courtesy of www.SwingLifeStyle.com

To maximize your experience though, there are a few things to keep in mind. First of all, even a $100 camera can take decent shots that are good enough to show your friends. You don’t need to buy a $600 dollar, 6-megapixel deluxe model that promises you the world. Remember, the camera is only as good as the person pointing it. You can find great cameras for less than $200 that will serve you well. We still carry around a worn-out 2-megapixel model that works just fine for spontaneous situations. --You never know when the “urge” might strike you or when you’ll be inspired to take some interesting photos! Be sure that your camera has certain features. A good

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budget camera should have an LCD screen on the back. This allows you to preview and/or delete unwanted pictures so as to not waste space on the memory card. A memory card is like a digital file. The only difference is that, depending on how “large” you select your pictures to be, the memory will fill up faster. You should get a camera with at least 32 MB of memory capacity, or preferably 64 MB. The more memory you have, the more it will hold and therefore, the less often you will have to stop and download the pictures to the computer. Downloading is the process of transferring the pics from the camera to your computer using a cable.

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spontaneous. We enhance our love life by taking sexy shots whenever we feel like it. We especially love outdoor situations. We once took some beautiful nude shots in a corn field while on vacation. Basically, if you can imagine a place, we’ve probably taken pictures there. And so can you. But you need to exercise a little common sense and caution. We were nearly arrested once on what appeared to be a desolate, remote beach with apparently no one around! (Park rangers sometimes use binoculars!)

least two or three megapixels, which is usually adequate. You don’t need to fork over hundreds of dollars extra to get the high-end model that takes 6-10 megapixel shots unless you plan to enlarge your pictures or print them out in extra sharp photo-realistic detail. We usually take our basic pictures in two or three megapixel mode. This allows us to take about 100-150 shots using our 64 MB (megabyte) card. The best benefit of having a digital camera, aside from taking risqué photographs, is the ability to be totally

The next thing to consider is lighting. Simply relying on your camera’s built-in flash just won’t do it! That’s why amateur shots usually look flat, bland and have that “burned out” or over-exposed look. Natural lighting and indoor lighting from table lamps can produce great results. Real professionals often use lighting sets that cost thousands of dollars. But a couple of common table lamps can produce similar results. One lamp positioned to the side of the subject can give nice results. Actually, there are various positions that can give various dramatic results. Ceiling lights can produce nice highlight effects, especially for hair and curves. A lamp positioned behind the subject or just off to the side can give dramatic effects. A couple of dim lamps placed in opposite directions (one to the right and another to the left, for example) can give great results. Just take a little time to experiment. You’ll see how great things can turn out.

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Emphasize the positive! Another strategy is to think about bringing out your better features and minimizing others. There are many ways to go about doing this. One thing you can do to emphasize the subject is to zoom in on it while standing back a bit. This will not only cut out unflattering backgrounds, but will tend to slightly blur the background A one-megapixel photograph due to the is about 1280 x 960 pixels in focus of the dimensions. Most people have lens. If your camera is their screens set far below that, capable, so at that size you would need slightly deto either zoom out or scroll over focusing the and down to see the whole subject can image. However, printing that produce a romantic picture on a high quality printer glow with might look a little bit fuzzy if you certain make it larger than say, 3 x 4 lighting. inches. Photo editing programs Most image editing give you the ability to scaleprograms down or crop your images, but will let that can take time, depending you blur on how many pictures you need an image to resize! Other nice features or apply filters to to have might be: a tripod give special mount (for shake-free and effect. Some photographer-inclusive shots), of us may built-in flashes, automatic have certain exposure modes and light features that filters compensation modes. can’t remove. Experiment with different positions that might seem to flatter your appearance. Simply laying on your back or positioning your lamp differently might avoid embarrassing shots. Try taking your shots from different angles, either from the sides or even from above or below. High or low angles can make a big effect on how the subject looks and can make a dramatic difference.

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Photography Tip

Outdoor shots can pose more of a challenge in that the model needs to be positioned in order to provide the best lighting from the sun or reflections while not blinding them. Supermodels can stare directly at the sun without squinting, but most of us are not quite able to do that! You could always try wearing sunglasses. Also

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try holding a pair of sunglasses over the lens to create an interesting polarized filter look. It works great with the broken sunglass you sat on last week. Be creative and try different things. Leave some things to the imagination. The best shots are seductive and invite the viewer to fantasize. It can be much more erotic and seductive to flirt with the camera when taking your photos. Think of it in a way as

Simply changing your position can make for a more appealing photograph.

Breaking the ice (or not): If you want a usually sure fire, guaranteed-in-writing way to break the ice with your sexy, new open-minded friends, then try bringing out one of your photo albums, or the computer as the case may be. This can make for some very lively conversation and elevated blood pressures. After gauging the reactions of your hopefully-impressed friends, try bringing out the camera. Most people are fairly curious to see how they would look in certain sexy situations. Some people though have reservations about having that moment “documented” in photographs. This can sometimes be tempered by the use of a mask or a blindfold –or by simply having that person turn their head to the side or positioning them just outside of the frame. A thin piece of lace or cloth can work well to conceal details and help keep your friends anonymously sexy.

Photography Tip Be sure to empty your

Just using a pair of sunglasses in front of your lens can make a big difference

a strip-tease. The person shooting the photos definitely needs to give verbal support here! “Yeah baby” might be encouraging, but isn’t really all that helpful. Rather, try giving supportive tips and advice to the person being photographed. For example, “Honey, maybe you could try to suck in your gut, just a little bit!” But remember, the photographer is really the one who is responsible ensuring that the shots turn out well, and that the model is looking, well, like a model.

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You don’t necessarily need to show off all of your juicy attributes just to be sexy. The anticipation is what makes photography exciting. A subtle glimpse can be far more erotic than a gynecological exam photo. Besides, you want to create desire and anticipation. If you absolutely must take a picture with a penis as the subject, try to make sure that it is REALLY worth showing off and something much more impressive than any other close-up of an anonymous “member”. Using a beer can as a measuring device isn’t really all that terribly interesting or impressive. Size sometimes matters, but most people probably won’t be impressed and your double Budweiser will be totally irrelevant. Atmosphere and mood are also important things to keep in mind. Most women are experts of creating just that special atmosphere and love the planning of it. Guys, even if you aren’t into being “creative” with special theme nights or elaborate script writing, just let the women do the planning and go with the flow. You will be rewarded in the end!

Aside from meeting new camera’s memory card friends, many people prior to an expected date also enjoy “showing or event. And above all, off” sexy and risqué photography with always have a fresh pack their friends and the of spare batteries waiting, world. This is especially because you can be helpful when it comes absolutely certain that if to setting up account things do get interesting, profiles and your special correspondence. your batteries will go dead! Other than seeking out people who have compatible personalities, most people are also interested in and concerned about physical appearances. Whatever the case, it’s just fun and liberating to share a naughty picture or two over the Internet! It also helps in finding just the right people, or your ideal match. One way to think of it is as “advertising” if not simply self-promotion. Some of us just like showing off, but if your main intent is self-promotion, then you need to ask yourself, “What sets me, or us apart from the rest?” Anyone can take “average” shots of themselves and e-mail or post them on some web site. That’s only half of the fun. Taking special, exotic and seductive pictures is a totally different form of entertainment that promises to both entertain and bring couples closer together. Whether you’re alone or with friends, it guarantees to liven up an afternoon, or an evening. Try it sometime! Authors Emmanuelle and John are both artists and photographers. Visit their online gallery for sexy images advice and services: www.BluNun.com/sex

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FabulouS FirStS Mary spoke with her for a minute or two, the door unlocked, Chantal welcomed them in, took their coats, ushered them to one of the banquettes around a special effect filled disco floor, and then brought them some wine. Once settled in, Mary and Don were delighted with the people watching, content to gape away at couples talking together, dancing sexy, just sitting around and looking very Euro.

Let the Action Begin After about an hour, Mary and Don noticed that one couple walked off the dance floor, with some degree of flourish, and headed through a beaded opening at one end of the club. Don recalls thinking that they must be going to the bathroom together –– perhaps it’s a cultural thing.

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But another couple left right after. Then another. Then others. Then all the others but Mary and Don.

Mary and Don

They’ll Always Have Paris! By David Lawrence

O

Once upon a perfect spring evening, Mary and Don, a happily married, mainstream couple (well, okay, they did watch a little porn now and then) were walking back to their hotel after enjoying a late dinner on Paris’ Left Bank. Stopping to cross a street, they spotted an alluring neon sign above an old, windowless building on a dark corner. Working through their rough translation capabilities, they read that this was a place for “Couples Libertines.” –– one of those notorious, couples only Paris “disco clubs” where it was understood that “activities” other than dancing occurred.

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With some apprehension, Mary and Don discussed what this might mean if they dared enter. Clearly they were not shocked at the notion. After fifteen years of togetherness, perhaps it was simply a natural inclination for some sort of spiced up variety beyond those porno tapes. For twenty minutes or so, Mary and Don watched from the curb side as rather normal looking couples poured into the place; the women dressed mainly in little black dresses of various sorts and the men in ties and jackets. In all, it was what you would define as a very proper crowd. After swearing allegiance and pledging mutual protection, Mary and Don

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They guessed about 100 people had gone through the mystery opening within about fifteen minutes. The obvious hit them like a load from their favorite money shot: there must be something behind those beads. Maybe those “activities” other than dancing. Holding hands like two innocent kids, they crept through the beaded opening filled with worries like, “Hey, what if these people are all falling into a Dante like inferno?” Or, gasp, maybe it was, in fact, a coed

bathroom. Or, worse yet, “That must be the midnight buffet and we already ate.”

FabulouS FirStS

drew up their collective courage, knocked on the door, and someone who later identified herself as “Chantal” slid one of those peek-aboo, speakeasy things open to check them out.

Pushing aside the beads, Mary and Don found themselves in a cave like stone foyer, with torch lights leading from the entryway down into a dark, very steep, stone staircase. And down they went, their fears taken over by natural curiosity

Mary had told her they were Americans, virgins to the scene.

and obvious temptation. As they descended, they heard moans and groans from a deeper unknown, along with sighs and whispers. No doubt about it, those were the serious sounds of something very seductive. The stairway led into a long cave like area. At the bottom of the steps, before their eyes even adjusted to the surroundings, they encountered their first (of what was to be many) visual delights: a pair of highly sensual looking women clinging to each other, up and down and wrapped around using hands, legs, arms, lips, tongues –– they were all over, top to bottom and inside out. Don almost had an “in-pants Photo courtesy of www.TrapezeClub.com accident.” As their eyes adjusted fully, Mary and Don peered further into the cave and saw a series of small bistro tables with

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FabulouS FirStS

play between women was not uncommon La femme continued, saying emphatically that at this club, and at every club, there is a strict etiquette, which must be followed. The most sacred rule is No means NO. There is no negotiating a NO. It is unconditional. And so you only do what you and your partner agree to and are comfortable with, together or alone. She went on to say that “Play” means anything from pleasurably watching others to pairing off with another couple, joining in for group groupings, or engaging in all out mega orgy. Regardless of setting or circumstance, if you reach a point where you’d rather not go further, you

Five Things You Should Learn From Mary and Don’s Experience: 1. When it comes to the Lifestyle, almost all of us go through similar anxieties, decisions, fantasies, and expectations. And as with every aspect of being a couple, it’s essential to communicate all of this with your partner.

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2. In the Lifestyle, No means No, and you are always in control of what you wish to experience or not. 3. Lifestyle “play” ranges from simply watching to dance floor fondling to all out intercourse. There is something for (almost!) everyone. 4. Lifestyle clubs, and many other opportunities, exist all The woman explained that this was one of many couples’ clubs throughout Paris, France, Europe, the world! She explained that these clubs exist for sexual encounters between men and women. There is no male-to-male sexual play, saying that the male gay clubs were wellknown and well-established to attract that clientele. However, as Mary and Don had recognized from the start,

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over the world. It’s a universal phenomenon and has been since people have been people. Be sure to check ahead. Some clubs are for couples and women only while some admit single men. Certain nights can vary regarding that policy. (Paris clubs are listed in weekly Pariscope guides available at many new stands throughout the city.) Or check the internet for quick information. Regardless, make sure you call to confirm what you’ve read or heard. 5. There are incredible rewards in terms of self discovery, and couple discovery, awaiting those who take even small risks by exploring the Lifestyle.

guide them around. And they saw amazing things. There were a lot of “buffet” encounters, where people casually felt each other under tables or against walls, soon moving on to others. There was a fair amount of more intense oral sex and intercourse, between couples, or foursomes, sixsomes, and moresomes –– on and off beds, in rooms of varying sizes that were at the end of those hallways from the main room. Their “guide” quietly explained some more rules: No smoking or drinking in the play areas (imagine people actually obeying those restrictions!) and zero tolerance regarding drugs. Safe sex was optional and, like everything else, based on consensual agreement. After about an hour, the woman left Mary and Don on their own, giving them both a warm hug and kiss on the cheeks. For a few hours after, Mary and Don stayed and watched. (The club is open from noon until 5 am everyday of the year!) For the most part, the playrooms were lit well enough for those with voyeuristic tendencies to enjoy the action. Throughout the club, Mary and Don found things were

not at all grimy and there seemed to be an enhanced ventilation system that kept the airflow fresh.

FabulouS FirStS

seats, and several hallways leading to who knew where? They also saw many people wandering around, in different states of disarray, all seemingly quite comfortable and confident, and not because they had a good day at the office! A bit fearful, but charged with excitement, Mary and Don asked themselves, “So, what do we do about this?” Before either could answer, or bolt away, a charming woman approached. She spoke to Mary. After a minute or so the woman laughed, reached out, took both their hands and sat them down at a table. Mary had told her they were Americans, virgins to the scene, completely unaware of what was happening –– or could happen.

During their wanderings, they declined a few invitations and appreciated how polite people were in respecting their wishes. Nevertheless, the atmosphere definitely heated their mental mode, and much more. So by 3 am they headed out, completely wired in the most erotic way. Once back in their hotel room, they took steamy showers, and then had even steamier sex. Naturally, they couldn’t sleep a wink. They talked, and talked about what they saw, what they liked and what they desired; until the cafes opened for coffee. They remained blissfully exhausted the rest of the day, meandering their way to typical touristy sites, including an old place Don recalls as The Louvre, or some such. (He thinks they had a few paintings there. He’s not sure, being a bit mushed-brain, after all.) As evening approached, they somehow found a burst of energy. Over a bistro dinner, they eagerly agreed to return to the club, surprised at how much they were mutually intrigued. And so they returned later that night, and every night for the rest of their stay in Paris –– and every year since for the past decade.

The Wisdom of Woody Allen “Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”

only need to say so or push a hand away. And it always works because No means NO. There is no pressure to do anything; ever.

“Don’t knock masturbation - it’s sex with someone I love.”

Sex of Many Sorts

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.”

Well, this woman painted a civilized yet pretty sexy picture for Mary and Don. They both felt very comfortable from her orientation and easily agreed when she offered to

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TM

1 oz. Rum 1 oz. Vodka 2 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix 7-up to taste TM

Served on the rocks in a collins glass. Day or night LifeStyle Lemonade is the perfect drink when you’re hot and thirsty. It is guaranteed to make your lips pucker.

1 1/2 oz. Tequila 1 1/2 oz. Blue Curacao 1 oz. Sweet Lime Juice Served on the rocks or frozen, in a cocktail glass or margarita glass It’s the original Mexican drink, the way it should have been done.

TM

1 oz. Kahlua TM

1/2 oz. Southern Comfort 1/2 oz. White Chocolate Liqueur Served up as a shot! They are known as predators of the clubs, lurking around in the dark wearing white towels, usually seen sporting one of these not so comforting drinks. 42

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1 oz. Irish Cream 1/2 oz. Grand Marnier Served over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Creamy, tasty, soft and wet; can you feel it? Close your eyes and imagine the most seductive time in your life, the Bi-69 is all your fantasies in a glass.

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“He was still working on the breast, quite a long time I thought.”

LifeStyle Paradox

M

My wife and I have been in the LifeStyle for several years. We’ve been to many clubs, parties, conventions and resorts. We have played with more than a few couples and singles and have not had a jealous moment in a long time. I was quite surprised at a recent, non-lifestyle event, which struck a jealous bone. We’re very secure in our relationship and only play together; it’s more fun that way. We recently hired a male to come to our home and give us both a massage. He came out a few times and everything was fine. He brought his own table, oils and all the stuff you need, but didn’t have

massaging her, but he appeared to be massaging her breast. Not groping or anything overly sexual, but more than what I considered normal. I know there are muscles in there, but it caught me as unacceptable for the masseur to massage my wife’s exposed breast. On my way back by a few minutes later, he was still working on the breast, quite a long time I thought. I’m not sure if jealousy is the correct term, as I don’t really think I was jealous as much as I felt this person was taking advantage of the situation and getting a bit of pleasure for himself. I discussed this later with my wife; she didn’t realize what was going on. After a 10 minute discussion, she agreed that it was not acceptable conduct by the masseur and agreed to wear a

top the next time. We’ve played with single males in the past and enjoyed it very much, but this was not the type of encounter we look for. Maybe as a fantasy, but never in reality.

listed on several websites and have adult material all over the house. Her being topless and having an open personality could easily appear inviting, but it’s still not appropriate. Just like it’s not OK to grab a naked lady at a club, without permission, it’s not OK to touch an exposed breast without asking. So, the moral of this story is that you should always discuss things with your partner. Keep an open line of communication and head off any problems as early as possible.

We still use the same masseur and have not had any problems. It’s quite possible that he knew we were swingers; we’re

Have a Paradox? Write to us, if we feature your Paradox we’ll send you a LifeStyle Magazine hat. Please send Paradox submissions to www.LifeStyleMagazine.com/paradox

“Her being topless and having an open personality could easily appear inviting.” a sheet for us to cover up with. I usually strip down naked for a massage since I’m under a sheet. Since there was no sheet, I decided to keep my boxers on. My wife kept her thong on, but went topless. Being secure in my masculinity, not to mention that we are open about our bodies, active in the lifestyle and frequent nude beaches; I didn’t have any problem with her being topless, at least not at first. As two or three weeks went by, one session per week, I began to notice that my entire massage was given with me on my tummy. My wife’s massage was given half face down, half face up. Now, I have lower back problems, which the masseur is aware of, so I blew this off as him just spending more time on my back. One time the masseur came to our house, I happened to walk by the massage table while he was

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What’s in a Word

S

Today, you can find articles on “swinging” in Time magazine, the New York Times, Details, on HBO, MTV, Showtime, VH1 and most national and local newscasts, newspapers and magazines. Conventions and clubs have popped up in every state. Resorts and hotels now cater to “swing” groups like never before. Recently, in New Orleans, over 1,000 “swingers” paraded down Bourbon St. in the first ever “swinging parade” behind a jazz (swing) band with a police escort. Swinging has almost become mainstream.

By Bob Hannaford ILA Board Chair www.TheILA.org

you. How about the word “lifestyle?” Funny how words mean so many different things to so many different people. My dictionary defines “Swinger” as: “One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.” I always had a suspicion that Barry Bonds was a “swinger.” My dictionary also says: “A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.” Now we’re getting somewhere, although I didn’t know marital status had so much to do with “swinging.” I’ll have to call Webster and explain to him that non-married couples swing too. I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear that.

Eventually, in the 30’s and 40’s, band leaders like Cab Callaway, Duke Ellington, Glen Miller and Count Basie brought in the big band era and “Swing was King.” The popularity of swing music faded after WWII until the late 50’s when Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack redefined the word “swinger.” The word’s connotation reached beyond their music and started to represent their lifestyle. They were hip, fashionable, cool and sexy. They were swingers, man. Playboy magazine was first published and a new era of sexuality was born. “Swinger” had a positive connotation, everyone wanted to be called a “swinger.” Of course the term was only relegated to men. Being considered a swinger would never be considered appropriate for a woman.

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It has become so mainstream that swing clubs and businesses finally have their own trade association. Imagine the effect of an organized effort to put forth positive images of this “swinging lifestyle.” This is the first step in gaining acceptance and tolerance for a sexual minority that is steadily growing and we are being noticed.

Why the history lesson? Most people I run into find the label “swinger” as a negative term with which they don’t want to be labeled. While I understand their reasons, most do not understand that the terms “swing” and “swinger” have undergone many transformations over the last century and will continue to change over the next few years. My favorite dictionary definition defines “swinger” as: “A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.” Now that is a term we can live with. Maybe we should print that definition on shirts, come out of the closet and show the world who we are. OK, maybe not this week... but soon?

By the way, I looked up the word “lifestyle” and my dictionary said: “A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group.” When the term “lifestyle” became popular over a generation ago, it had many critics that objected to it as trendy and superficial because it was mainly used to justify habits of consumption, recreation or fads to categories in a system of social classification. Many different forms of sexual minorities all consider themselves to be living a different

The International Lifestyle Association (ILA) is a nonprofit, member-controlled organization that exists to promote a positive image of alternative lifestyles and to support lifestyle businesses, professionals, and participants. We will be contributing to Lifestyle Magazine with articles we hope you will find informative and most of all, interesting. Please visit our site at www.theILA.org for more information on the growing swing community. You can support our efforts by joining today.

Lifestyle: “A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group.”

“Swing,” “Swinger,” what do these words mean to

The word “swing” dates back to the 20’s when the black community discovered a new form of music called Jazz and called it “Swinging Jazz.” The reference described the form of dance where a man would literally “swing” his partner through a series of dance moves. Like the Charleston and the Lindy Hop were born, and so was the term “swing.” Most conservatives couldn’t believe it when they saw people shaking their hips and frolicking to this new underground sensual music.

“lifestyle” from the mainstream. Nonetheless, the term has been useful, in fact, because they help explain ourselves when referring to social values and behavior.

Of course the “shagedelic swinging sixties” followed and once again the term “swinger” took on a new, cartoontype of character. Towards the end of the 60’s, swinger clubs started to form. Publications were printed and different forms of alternative relationships like swinging, polyamory and communal living started to show up. It wasn’t long before the 70’s and rumors of “key parties” and “wife swappers” became the common explanation of the “new swingers.” Again, sexist overtones dominated the “swinger” scene, the very term “wife swapper” implies that the man owns his wife and can trade her at will for another partner. The 80’s saw a surge of new clubs forming until the AIDS scare forced many swingers underground and many clubs closed or dropped in membership. Eventually, swinging became a lot more open, clubs rebounded and national conventions like Lifestyles in California and Las Vegas gained in popularity and thousands of couples came to meet other open minded couples. “Recreational swinging” became a powerful economic factor, in fact it became an industry.

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Relationship Stimulation

“B i z a r r e” Dentrophilia

MASSAGE YOUR

RELATIONSHIP

✁

- sex with trees

Hodophilia

- sex in strange places

Ochlophilia

- sex in crowds

Somnophilia

- sex with someone asleep

Massage HER here and SHE will think about:

Massage HIM here and HE will think about: BUY FLOWERS

SEX PASSIONATE KISSING TALK ALL NIGHT

CUDDLE

SEX

BLOW JOB

SEX

BLOW JOB SEX

TICKLE

HIS FOOT

HER FOOT FOREPLAY

48

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- sex with strangers

Endytophilia

- sex while remaining clothed

Agrexophilia

- arousal by being caught or seen

BLOW JOB

TAKE OUT THE TRASH

Xenophilia

BLOW JOB

SEX TIP

Pleasing Her

While performing orally for her, gently guide her hand to her clit so she can help you stimulate her. Press gently on her belly while penetrating from behind, and take slow strokes only a few inches in. That should help you find her G-spot.

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49

T How to enjoy a

lifestyle

convention

By Bob & Tess www.neworleansinnovember.com

The editors of LifeStyle Magazine asked us to write an article entitled “How to enjoy a lifestyle convention.” So, we spent an exhaustive year researching this subject so we could put together a sure fire guide to having a great time while at such an event. Now this may seem like a dream job, but let me tell you, its not easy spending hour after hour trapped in play rooms, judging wet “Tease” shirt contests, attending erotic seminars, meeting and dancing with over one thousand open minded, friendly, warm, giving , sexy and sharing couples. But because we love these guys, we sucked it up and went to work.

Here’s what we found: 1. Conventions rule! Conventions are the best place for beginners to “test the waters,” because of the informative seminars and the sheer number of experienced couples to meet and get to know. They are also the best place for experienced couples to make new acquaintances, catch up with old friends and have a venue to party all weekend long.

2. Education: Conventions offer a wide range of seminars from “dealing with jealousy,” STD’s, erotic massage, photography, polyamory, BDSM, building communication, and on and on. You can’t find this kind of a resource at a local club or resort. Make sure you schedule time to attend some (or many) of these great seminars. 3. Forget the education, let’s party: Hey, seminars are great but we’re here to party! With dances, contests, entertainment and of course hospitality rooms, there are so many choices for a couple to have a fun time, the only real question is “when do we sleep?” 4. Speaking of hospitality suites, some conventions have

the night. Inside we have our room key (or anyone else’s we may happen to come across), some money for cocktails, condoms (at least three different sizes!), a small bottle of lube (very important), her silver bullet (in case of emergencies), Tylenol or Excedrin Quicktabs (someone always needs these), mints and of course a little blue diamond shaped pill (hey, if it works for Bob Dole). You can accessorize your kit by adding rabbit fur, vibrators, dildos, duct tape (for you McGyver’s out there) or whatever else might make your evening memorable. You can remember these motto’s: “be prepared (Boy Scouts) or “adapt & improvise” (Marines) but Tess prefers: Semper Paratus, which is Latin for the Coast Guard’s motto “always ready.” These are just a few things Tess & I learned as we attended most of the conventions during the last few years. I hope passing on some of these tips will help you add to your experience while you are here. Remember, no matter what experiences you may encounter during this weekend, when it’s over, you will be heading home with your partner so keep the lines of communication open and show some respect and you can’t go wrong.

Forget the education let’s party

SEX TIP

Pleasing Him

special “Hospitality Suites.” What are these suites you ask? A place to get a snack? Sometimes. A place to meet people after the dance? Yes, and more. Much, much more. Hospitality suites are areas that most would consider the “onpremise” party area. You can head to this area to play, watch, be watched and best of all you don’t have to get your own room dirty. So grab your “essentials kit” (more on this later), a sense for adventure and head to the hospitality suites.

If you wake up before him, give him a surprise. Oral sex is especially good in the half awake half asleep twilight dream world.

5. Smile: This is the single greatest piece of advice we can give you. We have seen so many nervous couples sitting by themselves, wishing someone would come up and talk with them, but they are unknowingly putting people off with an unapproachable look. Just smile. It’s so simple, yet it will make you so much more approachable. We are looking for fun, happy and secure couples, if you are looking sad, we’ll move on until we see someone smiling and having a great time.

Depending on his size, add a hand (or two) to your oral workout. Stimulating the shaft as well as the head can make all the difference.

6. You’ll get out of this, what you put into it: Talk to each other about what you expect from this weekend and then “go for it”. The minute you arrive, the clock starts to tick away. You only have a few short days to have fun and then the convention is over. Get out, meet people, participate in silly games and contests and have some fun. The party won’t come to you.

7. Put together an “essentials kit”: Tess has a great little black bag with everything we need to help get us through

50

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51

Instructions:

LifeS tyle

Cut out game sheet, complete both puzzles and entrant information then mail original to:

✁

Sponsored by

Crossword Puzzle

LifeStyle Magazine Games PO Box 9549 Coral Springs, FL 33075 Note, only original magazine pages will be accepted, no photocopies or facsimiles can be used. You must be over 21 years of age to enter.

Games

Across 5. What guys want 6. A LifeStyle resort in Mexico 8. ______ are the foundation of the LifeStyle 9. AC/DC Down 1. A kind of reef 2. _____ magazine 3. A sexy Libation 4. Convertible 5. A drink and a street 7. A brand of hot tub

Entrant Information:

ip Win ato tr , Cancuicno Mex

Name_______________________________________________________

1. ITSDUN _ _ _ _ _ _

Street Address________________________________________________

2. XOAADRP _ _ _ _ _ _ _

City______________________________ State_____ Zip______________

3. IGRWSEN _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Email_______________________________________________________

4. NDLRTIEUE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Telephone___________________________________________________

5. CMIHFSEI _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Enter to win a trip for two to Desire Resort and Spa. Desire is a couples only, clothing optional, all inclusive resort in beautiful Cancun, Mexico. The winner will receive one 4 day 3 night couples package (airfare not included), courtesy of Lifestyles Resorts.

Cut out and send in your completed game sheet. All correct entries will be entered into a drawing to be held at LifeStyle magazine’s New Year’s Eve party on December 31, 2004. Entrants need not be present to win, good luck! 52

Word Scramble

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6. PEETRAZ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7. EWLTO AKHSR _ _ _ _ _ 8. EWN RALNEOS _ _ _

Hint:

_ _ _ _ _

All answers to these puzzles can be

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

9. LFSITLEYE EAGMNZIA _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 10. WSGNI ELTFIELYS _ _ _ _ _

found somewhere in the magazine.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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53

believe it or not

man may curse while having sex with his wife.

have had a one-night stand.

8 In the state of Utah, sex with an

animal, unless performed for profit, is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal. Liverpool, England but only in tropical fish stores.

10 In Kingsville, Texas there is a law 1 In the state of Texas it is a misdemeanor if

two men engage in oral and or anal sex. Yet, the same law does not apply to men and women engaging in the same activities with each other.

2

In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been 80 documented cases of men similarly endowed.

3 Men say the average erect penis is 10 inches. Women say it’s 4 inches.

4 A honeymooning couple are suing Holiday

Inn for $10,000, claiming their sex life is now dysfunctional because an employee mistakenly walked in on them on their wedding night.

5 England’s King Edward VII, a man of

considerable heft, had a special table built so that he could comfortably engage in sexual intercourse.

6 It was considered elegant for aristocratic

ladies of the 16th century to let their pubic hair grow as long as possible so it could be pomaded and adorned with bows and ribbons.

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7 60% of men and 54% of women

17 In Texas, sixteen-year old

divorced girls are prohibited from talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities. [For everyone else it’s okay?]

9 Women can sell items and be topless in

Sex and the Law...

54

16 In Willowdale, Oregon, no

Start Your Sexual Revolution

18 The T’ang Dynasty Empress

Wu Hu passed a special law concerning oral sex. She felt that a woman pleasuring a man represented the supremacy of the male over the female. Therefore, she insisted all visiting male dignitaries show their respect by pleasuring her orally when meeting. The empress would throw open her robe and her guest would kneel before her and kiss her genitals.

against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property.

11

In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.

12 As recently as 1990, these states had

laws against the use of dildos: Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Washington D.C.

19 In Florida, having sexual

13 An 18th century French prostitute could

relations with a porcupine is illegal.

be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera.

14 While not as extreme as the ancient Israelite punishment for adultery (stoning), Greek men still had their fair share of discomfort when their pubic hair was removed and a large radish was shoved up their rectum.

15 In Harrisburg, PA

it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a tollbooth.

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55

ARIZONA The Black Rose House Bullhead City, AZ 86442 928-763-2525 www.blackrosemaids.com [email protected]

CALIFORNIA Anne’s Pleasher Party! PO Box 69 Newark, CA 94560 510-552-0515 www.imanne.com [email protected]

Club Swingstock 1282 Stabler Lane, Suite 630-168 Yuba City, CA 95993 www.clubswingstock.com [email protected] Club WideWorld PO Box 5366 Buena Park, CA 90622 714-821-6117 www.clubwideworld.com [email protected] Freedom Acres San Bernardino, CA 92412 909-887-8757 www.freedomacres.com [email protected]

Arena Swing Club Bay Area Hayward, CA 94541 510-623-1354 www.ArenaSwingClub.com [email protected]

LA COUPLES Los Angeles, CA 90021 213-489-2001 www.lacouples.com [email protected]

Babylon Club Van Nuys, CA 91406 760-861-5977 www.gotobabylon.com [email protected]

La Villa 3517 E St. San Diego, CA 92102 619-231-9287 www.lavilla.com [email protected]

Barry and Shell’s Oakland, CA 94606 510-834-5808 www.barryandshells.com [email protected] BlueMoon Adult Socials PO Box 580754 Elk Grove, CA 95758 866-460-2583 www.bluemoonsocials.com [email protected] CB’s San Diego, CA 92033 760-751-8703 www.clubcb.com [email protected]

Options Socials PO Box 542 French Camp, CA 95231 209-941-2100 www.optionssocials.com [email protected]

FLORIDA

GEORGIA

INDIANA

The Fantasy Paradise PO Box 891865 Temecula, CA 92584 Andrea & Ken 951-246-2879 www.thefantasyparadise.com [email protected]

12 Oaks Resort 984 Boston Hwy Monticello, FL 32344 850-997-0333 www.12oaksresort.com [email protected]

2Risqué 4505 Commerce Drive Atlanta, GA 30336 404-696-2737 www.2risque.us [email protected]

Club Escapades RR 3 Box 349 Owensville, IN 47665 812-729-7597 [email protected]

Amore Swingers Club PO Box 2283 Ormond Beach, FL 32175 386-255-1600 www.AmoreClubUSA.com

The Velvet Swing Los Angeles, CA 90028 818-787-0842 www.velvetswing.net [email protected]

The Velvet Heaven 2241 Faulkner Rd. Atlanta, GA 30324 404-929-0702 www.thevelvetheaven.com [email protected]

Club Destiny PO Box 5251 Destin, FL 32540 www.clubdestiny.us [email protected]

Thad’s 3488 E St. San Diego, CA 92102 619-237-8849 www.thads.com [email protected]

COLORADO Pikes Peak Playhouse PO Box 15431 Colorado Springs, CO 80935 719-579-8965 www.pikespeakplayhouse.com Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club (RMCSC) 1550 Larimer Street Box 113 Denver, CO 80202 720-363-7946 www.rmcsc.com

Passion Play Tarzana, CA 91356 www.LAPassionPlay.com [email protected]

Scarlet Ranch PO Box 2410 Evergreen, CO 80437 303-674-7026 www.scarletranch.com [email protected]

PowerExchange Couples Nights 74 Otis Street San Francisco, CA 94010 415-487-9944 www.powerexchange.com

Vila Trivado Denver, CO 80223 Contact Nancy & Henry 303-935-5676 www.vilaprivado.com [email protected]

CONNECTICUT Leisure Time 355 Zion Street Hartford, CT O6106 860-951-6243 [email protected]

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Miami Velvet 3901 NW 77th Ave. Miami, FL 33166 305-406-1604 www.miamivelvetswing.com Platos Repeat 321 W Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale, FL 33311 954-523-9818 www.platos-repeat.com [email protected] Pleasure Palace 8504 E. Adamo Dr. Tampa, FL 33619 813-663-9193 www.pleasurepalaceflorida.com info@pleasurepalaceflorida.com Thegatheringplacesh Springhill, FL 34606 352-666-7151 www.thegatheringplacesh.com [email protected] TRAPEZE 3660 W Commercial Blvd Ft Lauderdale, FL 33309 954-730-8121 www.trapezeclub.com [email protected]

Trapeze Club 4470 SW Commerce Drive Atlanta, GA 30336 404-699-0100 www.trapezeclub.com [email protected]

IOWA L’Sota PO Box 1075 Cedar Rapids, IA 52406 319-981-2942 www.lsota.com [email protected]

ILLINOIS Couples Choice PO Box 2806 Country Club Hills, IL 60478 708-333-4860 www.coupleschoice.com [email protected] Couples Playhouse In Paradise Naperville, IL 60565 630-983-5175 couplesplayhouse.com/ [email protected] Intimate Circles PO Box 8288 Bartlett, IL 60103 630-965-6942 www.intimatecircles.com [email protected]

Klub Layden Muncie, IN 47302 765-717-1043 www.klublayden.net [email protected] Shenanigans PO Box 739 Noblesville, IN 46061 765-622-0103 www.shenanigans.net [email protected] Topside Two PO Box 11629 Indianapolis, IN 46201 Contact Gary 317-251-1717 www.topsideii.com [email protected]

KANSAS Club Eden of Kansas City PO Box 6712 Leawood, KS 66206 816-920-3590 www.edenkc.com Club Erotica KC 19460 W 159th Olathe, KS 66061 913-238-4339 www.cluberoticakc.com [email protected] Kansas Fantasy Fulfillers Wichita, KS 67217 www.ksfantasy.com [email protected]

LOUISIANA French Connection PO Box 2592 Covington, LA 70434 800-304-4493 www.frenchconx.com

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57

The Lagniappe Chateau PO Box 40 Shreveport, LA 71067 318-208-2284 www.thelagniappechateau.com

Carolina Couples NC 2000 Brentwood St. High Point, NC 27263 336-655-8617 www.carolinacouplesnnc.com [email protected]

MARYLAND

Magical Sinsations Greensboro, NC 27410 336-996-7927 www.magicalsinsations.com [email protected]

The Private Affair PO Box 58 Port Deposit, MD 21904 410-378-8948 www.theprivateaffair.com [email protected]

MICHIGAN Just a Swingin Traverse City, MI 49686 231-360-0419 [email protected] Motor City Socials Detroit, MI 48224 313-882-5194 www.motorcitysocials.com [email protected]

MISSOURI Natural Pines Resort RR2 Box 95 Memphis, MO 63555 660-328-6681 www.naturalpinesresort.com [email protected]

NORTH CAROLINA Beck’s Romance Motel 5401 Raeford Road Fayetteville, NC 28304 910-425-2108 [email protected] Carolina Connections PO Box 5365 Charlotte, NC 28299 704-578-6291 www.carolinaconnectionsclub.com

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Piedmont Socials King Mountain, NC 28086 704-601-6016 www.piedmontsocials.com [email protected]

NEBRASKA Downtown O 11305 Evans St. #2 Omaha, NE 68164 www.downtowno.com [email protected]

NEW HAMPSHIRE Club Europa 11 Highland St. Newton, NH 3858 603-382-9539 www.Europadance.net [email protected]

NEW JERSEY Beginnings PO Box 851- D Rahway, NJ 7065 732-388-9106 www.couples4u.com [email protected]

NEVADA Dilligas Saloon 1303 E Fourth St. Reno, NV 89512 775-322-8481 www.dilligassaloon.com [email protected]

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The Red Rooster 5010 Steptoe Las Vegas, NV 89112 www.vegasredrooster.com [email protected] The Seamed Stocking 1604 Becke Circle Las Vegas, NV 89104 702-382-6244 www.theseamedstocking.com [email protected]

OHIO

OREGON

TEXAS

Club 101 PO Box 159 Dayton, OH 45404 937-235-1010 www.club101.cc [email protected]

Beaver Creek Club PO Box 2459 Hillsboro, OR 97123 503-740-0847 www.beavercreekclub.net [email protected]

Club Wonderland PO Box 1181 Cleveland, TX 77328 281-432-2110 www.clubwonderland.com [email protected]

NEW YORK

Club 440 440 East Dixie Dayton, OH 45449 937-847-0990 www.club440online.com [email protected]

Bi Swinger Grand Central Station New York, NY 10163 www.BiSwinger.com [email protected]

Dayton Swim & Social Club 8235 Old Troy Pike PMB 103 Huber Heights, OH 45424 937-890-0833 www.daytonswimclub.com

Black Tie Discretions Binghamton, NY 13790 www.blacktiediscretions.com [email protected]

Ebony Social Club PO Box 27354 Cleveland, OH 44127 216-287-0337 www.ebonysocialclub.com [email protected]

CANDLELIGHT ASSOCIATES 3 locations (Batavia, Niagra Falls & Syracuse) PO Box 93181 Rochester, NY 14692 716-818-9129 www.candleassociates.com [email protected] Carousel Swing Club 3030 Northern Blvd. Long Island, NY 11101 212-252-2138 www.CarouselClub.com [email protected] Charldine Club International PO Box 4631 Schenectady, NY 12304 518-895-2372 www.charldine.com Niagara Connects 4025 Dorchester Rd. Suite 169 Niagara Falls, NY 14026 1-888-350-3049 www.niagaraconnects.com [email protected] Premium Events 31st Street Manhattan, NY www.PremiumEvents.com [email protected]

Eros Connection Cleveland, OH 44113 216-453-4185 www.erosconnection.com [email protected] Ohio Couples Parties Newark, OH 43055 hometown.aol.com/ prtyplanner4ohio/ Playtime Club 3200 East Pike Zanesville,OH 43701 Contact Mark 740-404-2256 www.playtimeclub.com [email protected]

PENNSYLVANIA DJ’s Island 7280 Big Beaver Blvd Beaver Falls, PA 15010 412-519-8608 www.djsisland.com [email protected] The Farm Travel Club PO Box 7791 York, PA 17404 717-225-5082 www.thefarmtravelclub.com

RHODE ISLAND Black Key Club PO Box 19141 Johnston, RI 2919 401-274-3700 www.blackkeyclub.com [email protected]

SOUTH CAROLINA Southern Socials PO Box 738 Ladson SC 29456 843-797-7469 www.southernsocials.com [email protected]

TENNESSEE Discretions 1488 Madison Ave. Memphis, TN 38103 901-496-0323 www.discretionsmemphis.com/ [email protected] Menages 615 Seventh Ave. South Nashville, TN 37203 615-742-3705 www.menagesclub.com

Country Pleasure Ranch Austin, TX 76571 [email protected] Live Oak Resort 9751 Lone Star Rd. Washington, TX 77880 936-878-2216 www.liveoakresort.com Quiet Encounters 14650 Montana Street El Paso, TX 79938 915-497-0297 www.quietencounters2.com/ [email protected] Radiance 2628 FM 1960 East Houston, TX 77073 281-233-9889 www.radianceclub.com [email protected]

WASHINGTON Club Passions PO Box 29958 Bellingham, WA 98228 360-441-5709 www.clubpassionsnw.com [email protected] Desert Delights PO Box 4506 Pasco, WA 99301 509-521-7834 [email protected] Love Lounge Seattle PO Box 2355 Issaquah, WA 98027 425-642-8023 www.lovelounge.net [email protected] Northwest Xchange Club www.NWXchange.com [email protected]

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59

WISCONSIN

Wisconsin Playful Pleasures Lake Geneva, WI 53147 877- 420-4290 www.wispleasures.com [email protected]

Club 34 Somerset Amery, WI 54001 [email protected] Club NCN PO Box 259871 Madison, WI 53725 608-873-1902 www.clubncn.com [email protected]

Interested in having your Club listed here?

Got Pictures? Play Where You Stay

WEST VIRGINIA Elkhorn Inn & Theatre PO Box 100 Elkman, WV 24829 304-862-2031 www.elkhorninnwv.com [email protected]

Contact us today at: 954-755-7338 or

4417 Dr yades Street New Orleans, LA 888-788-DIVE

[email protected]

LifeStyle Definitions AC/DC – Bi-Sexual Person(s)

DP – Double Penetration, simultaneous Vaginal and Anal.

Arts – Fetishes

Back Door – Anal Sex BBW – Big Beautiful Woman. Larger than average woman that is very beautiful regardless of size or weight. BDSM – Bondage-DisciplineSadoMasochism Bi or Bisexual – Someone that enjoys sex with both men and women. Bi-Curious – Someone that is curious, interested in or has had limited Bisexual experience. Bi-Sensual – One that enjoys touching/fondling/watching both sexes, but not Oral/Intercourse.

F – Female

P/P – Photo/Phone

Fellation – Oral stimulation of the penis.

S&M or SM – Sadism/Masochism

Fetish – Sexual stimulation via non sexual acts or objects. Full Swap – A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to AND including intercourse. Gay – Homosexual, generally a male, but not always. GBM – Gay Black Man

Bondage – The practice of restraining a person(s) for sexual pleasure. Can Entertain – Someone that has a private location and is willing to invite others over. Can Travel – Someone that is willing to travel, generally beyond an hours drive.

GWM – Gay White Male Heterosexual – One who enjoys and has sex with only the opposite sex. Homosexual – One who enjoys and has sex with only the same sex. Hung – One with a large penis HWP – Height/Weight Proportionate. Someone that is not overweight or underweight.

Clean – Diseases and Drug Free Convertible – Topless

ISO – In Search Of

Couple – Two people, generally one male, one female.

Lesbian – Gay women

CPL – Couple

LTR – Long Term Relationship

Cunnilingus – Oral stimulation of the vagina/clitoris

M – Male

DD – Clean, disease and drug free. Discipline – Spanking, bondage or similar practice intended to arouse sexual desire.

60

Exhibitionism – Showing off in public, involving nudity.

Off-Premise – A swing club or party where there are no designated locations for play. This may or may not exclude the activity from actually taking place.

Entertain – Can Entertain

B&D or BD – Bondage and Discipline

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MWC – Married White Couple

SBF – Single Black Female SBiF – Single Bi Female SBiM – Single Bi Male SBM – Single Black Male SGL – Single Sodomy – Usually Anal sex, possibly forced. Soft Swing/Swingers – A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to but not including intercourse. STD – Sexually Transmitted Disease. STR8 or STR or Straight – Straight, a Heterosexual person. Swap or Swapping – Two couples exchanging partners SWF – Single White Female SWM – Single White Male Versatile – Bisexual Voyeur or Voyeurism – One who enjoys watching.

MBiC – Married Bi Couple

Water Sports – Urination involving sexual stimulation.

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Safe – Someone that is not at risk for becoming or causing a pregnancy.

MBC – Married Black Couple

Moresome – More than four.

Send us your favorite shots, if published you will receive national recognition and a LifeStyle magazine hat. See:

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61

events and conventions 2004 - 2005 september september September 12-24, 2004 Plan ahead for a naked good time. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to try activities like diving, snorkeling, sunbathing, swimming, beach games, volleyball, miniature golf, tennis, hiking, jogging, and even gambling without your clothes on? Come visit this all-inclusive resort for all the sexy fun you can stand! www.castawaystravel.com

Dallas Interlude

September 16-19, 2004 Bring your party clothes and a party attitude, but leave those inhibitions at home! Enjoy three full days of a complete hotel sell out at this convention, designed to bring like-minded couples together in an intimate experience. Sexy events include wild and crazy pool parties, erotic and sensual theme dances, entertaining seminars, and much more! www.dallasinterlude.com

Fetish Con 2004 - Tampa, Florida September 23-26, 2004 Make reservations early for the 4th Annual Fetish Convention. It is going to be the biggest, hottest bondage and fetish convention of the year! Meet hundreds of sexy models, shop for kinky toys and clothes, attend workshops, demonstrations, and party hardy! www.fetishcon.com

october

62

www.lifestyles-tours.com

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER

October 20-24, 2004 Come and party at a beautiful, secluded hotel used exclusively for this exciting convention. Couples will enjoy delicious dinners, an indoor pool, various lifestyle-topic seminars, erotic dances, trip giveaways, and vendors selling erotic adult novelties. www.enticeny.com

N’awlins in November

November 17-21, 2004 Another exciting “hotel takeover,” alternative lifestyle convention. A gathering of open-minded couples who desire to explore their sexuality and want to visit New Orleans, one of the sexiest cities in America. Plenty of erotic activities including seminars, professional entertainers, demonstrations, themed dance parties, contests, and much more! (Inside Back Cover)

www.exoticeroticball.com

www.toplesstravel.com

Sandi & Samantha’s Caribbean Cruise February 27 - March 6, 2005 Experience the flavor and ambience of the beautiful Costa Atlantica, European style cruising at it’s finest. No detail has been overlooked to bring you the style and hospitality of Italy. On every Costa sailing, you will enjoy authentic Italian cuisine and the warm attentive crew will make you feel like one of the family. From the moment you board till the final night’s Bacchanal Parade and Toga Party, it will be an unforgettable week of enjoyment.

Exotic Erotic Ball - San Francisco October 23, 2004 Don’t miss the 25th anniversary of the world famous Exotic Erotic Ball. It will be the biggest celebration ever! Get your tickets early for the wildest and sexiest party that offers more than entertainment.

January 8-15, 2005 Escape winter for a week, at the hottest party ever! Experience the fabulous all-inclusive accommodations, unlimited premium drinks, land sports, water sports, beaches (one au natural), or relax in one of four Jacuzzis. Entertainment includes a circus workshop, late night discotheque, karaoke, live bands, performers, floor shows, and themed parties!

february 05

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER

www.neworleansinnovember.com

Everything To Do With Sex Show Calgary, Canada

www.trystmag.com

November 18-21, 2004 Plan to attend where “playtime” was never this fun! The 4th annual sex show is an upscale consumer trade show featuring everything related to the subject of romance and self-improvement. It’s entertainment, education, and loads of sexy fun, with a party atmosphere!

march 05 Couples Fantasies Week - Jamaica March 13-20, 2005 Make plans to attend the ultimate fantasy week at Hedo III. Couples fantasies games and contests held every day with plenty of live entertainment every night!

Fetish & Fantasy Halloween Ball - Las Vegas

www.canwestshows.com/sexshow

October 30, 2004 Purchase your tickets early for one of the wildest bashes on earth. Named “One of the top ten events in the world,” you don’t want to miss this one!

Hedonism II - Jamaica

www.couplesfantasies.com

November 21 - December 8, 2004 Caribbean Dreams welcomes you to another European Naturists and Swingers event. Join in the fun with Body Shots, Naked Twister, Hanky Panky games, as well as many other sexy happenings at the fun-packed vacation at Hedo II.

Do you have or know of an event or convention you would like to see listed, please contact us at 954.755.7338 or [email protected]

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER

September 30 - October 2, 2004. Don’t miss the best party in the Windy City. The 6th annual convention features seminars, hot and sexy theme dances, a clothing-optional pool party, and much more erotic fun. Vendors will be offering a variety of clothing, shoes, fetish wear, party attire, erotic art, jewelry, and adult items for fun, pleasure, and titillation.

October 31 - November 7, 2004 The wildest women in the world will compete for the title of Ms. Hedo III. Party with these beautiful contestants all week long. Every day of the contest week is sexier than the last!

www.chicagoadventure.org

www.superclubs.com

www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

Lifestyle Week At Hedo III Resort - Jamaica

www.lifestyles-tours.com

www.halloweenball.com Chicago Adventure and Erotic Fair

Takeover at Calinda Cabo San Lucas Baja, Mexico

October 16-23, 2004 Don’t miss this one! Lifestyles Tours & Travel takes over all the rooms and suites at the beautiful Grand Lido Braco Village Resort. They offer all-inclusive luxurious accommodations, food services, entertainment, water sports, golf, and many other amenities.

Entice 2004 - New York

LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER

january 05

November 6-13, 2004 This week the wild and outrageous Calinda will be taken over by Lifestyles Tours & Travel for a truly memorable “lifestyles” experience! The clothingoptional swimming pools and hot tubs will be open 24 hours a day. There will be theme nights, dinner parties, disco nights, trips to town for nightlife and shopping, a bar crawl, and many other activities!

Annual Au Natural Side Takeover - Jamaica

Curacao Au Naturel Week - Caribbean

november november

Ms. Hedo III Contest - Jamaica

Start Your Sexual Revolution

www.superclubs.com

Start Your Sexual Revolution

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NEXT ISSUE

December 2004 Where do we Start? Advice for newcomers.

Help Wanted LifeStyle Magazine is produced by swingers, for swingers. We are

East vs. West

always looking for volunteers in editorial, photographic, artistic, and poetic submissions from our readers. If you are interested in

Where are the best clubs?

contributing, contact us to discuss your project. Plus, let us know what you think about our new publication, there will be a letters to the editor section in the next issue. Remember, this is your

Does size really matter?

magazine and you can help make it great. More information at: www.LifeStyleMagazine.com/submit

Finally, the definitive answer.

Get Kinky

What’s your fetish?

Plus, expanded Clubs and Events

And much, much more. 64

www.LifeStyleMagazine.com

Start Your Sexual Revolution

www.ToplessTravel.com Life’s more fun with your clothes off.