Jinxed-KS

JINXED

You like that huh, you retarded weirdo—“ “Shit, his eyes just creep the fuck out of me—“ Jongin slows down a little when he hears the shouted angry cursing and the scuffling of clothes and crashing of flesh and bone and even without seeing the scene, it doesn’t take full use of his imagination to know what was going on. Just stay away, don’t even look. Ignore, it’s none of your business, he says to himself when turns the corner towards the school gate. He narrows his eyes and looks ahead, and he knows the expression makes him look arrogant and cold but he can’t help it if he looks like that no matter what he does. In the corner of his eye he sees three juniors surrounding and kicking someone lying on the ground just a few meters away. He tightens his hold on his backpack and digs his other hand deeper into his pocket and continues walking ahead like everything else is none of his business because it wasn’t and he knows it. He isn’t cold-hearted or mean, he’s just practical, he tells himself, even though the back of his mind is screaming otherwise. He’s seen many similar scenes before, middle school and high school kids have progressed into much painful and advanced forms of bullying with the turn of the century, and another one shouldn’t matter, doesn’t matter as far as Jongin is concerned. If only they’d been as practical as him and had minded their own damn business, they probably wouldn’t have gotten themselves in messes they couldn’t handle. More sounds of flesh and bone hitting and cracking against each other, feet scraping the ground and clothes getting tangled, soft sobbing drift through the other things Jongin wants to ignore but can’t because his senses are better than your average basketball player. Another few steps and he is out of the gate and like always, he is assaulted with the warm feeling of relief and freedom that comes with Friday afternoons. He walks further away and just several meters more he’s on the bus and on his way home, far away from the scuffling and scraping. But it’s only when he finally reaches home and sinks onto his bed that the ugly, painful sounds finally die down completely. ###

He says his name is Do Kyungsoo and Jongin’s first impression of him is that he’s a senior who doesn’t look like a senior and creeps people out with his wide-eyed, probing stare. Jongin doesn’t know him, has never met him before and up until several minutes ago, he’s never even realized that there was a bug-eyed 17-year-old senior named Do Kyungsoo living in the same planet as him. And the first time he’s assaulted by that wide-eyed, probing, looking-right-into-your-soul kind of stare, Jongin’s filled with a mixture of shock and awe because he’s not used to people looking at him like that. Jongin is handsome and hot and he knows it and he knows the people around him know it so when someone looks at him like he’s nothing unremarkable, Jongin gets a little weirded out because he never knows what that person thinks of him. He’s practical and he’s not above using his looks to get what he wants and he’s never met a person who has never produced even a mild expression of shock, awe, intimidation, admiration or any reaction really to his appearance. He’s used to people avoiding his eyes, whether in fear, awe or shyness, but Do Kyungsoo is currently staring up at him with neither of those emotions in his humungous orbs and Jongin doesn’t know what to make of it. The cuts and bruises on his face and neck don’t even do a good job of distracting Jongin from his eyes; they were just that noticeable. “Why are you staring at me like that?” is the first thing Jongin says to him and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen even more with surprise, not because he hasn’t been asked the same question by almost everyone he happens to meet but because he’s just asked the junior about the name of their class representative. “Excuse me?” Kyungsoo answers and Jongin becomes aware he’s just brushed off the older student’s question quite rudely. “You—your eyes, why do they look like that—it’s—it’s weird,” Jongin finishes off lamely and his brows furrow in confusion because usually he’s more eloquent than this when he does feel the need to speak. He also realizes that his questions and statements must come out quite rude but he doesn’t know what else to say to a boy whose eyes take up about half his face and is staring at him like he can read all of Jongin’s deep, nasty secrets in his head. When Kyungsoo doesn’t answer and continues glaring at him, he murmurs a soft whatever, never mind and stares at a spot on the ground a few feet away from them. To his surprise, Kyungsoo chuckles in amusement, the action causing such a dramatic change in the older boy’s face that Jongin is left dumbfounded again. “It’s okay, I’ve heard and been asked worse,” Kyungsoo answers simply, as though it isn’t a big deal and Jongin figures it must not be since the boy’s lived with those eyes for 17 years and he’s probably had people commenting on them before. He gets the feeling that

maybe those eyes are the cause of the cuts and bruises but Jongin pushes the feeling away and ignores it since it isn’t practical. “Err—yeah, so, what was that again…” Jongin prompts, reminding Kyungsoo of his agenda in the junior classroom. Jongin can’t help but note the obvious, open changing of expressions on Kyungsoo’s face and he wonders how the boy has managed to survive 17 years with eyes like those and a face that gives all his thoughts away. “Oh right! I need to ask for your class rep’s name…err, 2-B right? Mianhe, you must be busy, I just—“ “Jung Soojung, tall girl, that’s her,” Jongin cuts in, not really interested in Kyungsoo’s explanation as he was by his expressions. Kyungsoo looks a little taken aback (Jongin can now confidently swear his face hides absolutely nothing) but he quickly smiles widely, the action making him look even younger than his ridiculous, barely-13-years-old appearance. “Thanks a lot, Jongin-ssi!” Kyungsoo eagerly says and before Jongin can ask how the senior even knows his name when he swears he hasn’t even introduced himself, Kyungsoo is waving goodbye, off to the next classroom as fast as his little skinny legs can carry him. And Jongin is left standing stupidly in the middle of the doorway feeling like he’s just been caught in a whirlwind and dropped in the middle of nowhere with no way to get back home. “The fuck was that about?” He almost jumps a mile but manages to maintain a cool façade when Yixing’s voice breaks into his reverie and his best friend drapes a lazy arm around his shoulder. Yixing is craning his neck over Jongin’s shoulder to look at the hallway and Jongin refuses to follow Yixing’s line of sight because that would mean seeing Do Kyungsoo’s little impish face and body again. “Nothing. He just asked stuff,” Jongin says with a shrug but he probably hadn’t sounded as cool as he thought he did because next thing he knows, Yixing is giving him the look. And Jongin hates Yixing’s looks because Yixing only gives the look to people he thinks are stupid, disgusting or acting out of character. Like Wu Fan when he suddenly starts smiling and being polite. And since Jongin knows he’s neither of the first two, he must seem like he’s acting out of character, seem being the actual key word here. “What?” Jongin says with a small, judging quirk of his eyebrow when Yixing starts leaning close to him. Jongin frowns; he doesn’t like his personal space invaded without his permission and Yixing is looking at him like he’s reading his mind and judging him quite harshly according to what he’s seeing. ”Seriously, just what is wrong with you Zhang Yixing?”

Then Yixing’s laughing carelessly and slapping him on the back like his usual self and Jongin gets the feeling that he’s seriously missing something in this particular scene. “Nothing, captain. Just surprised to see you fraternizing with the resident freak is all,” Yixing says with an amused smile and Jongin rolls his eyes because he knows that’s what’s expected of him. He’s still not used to being called captain outside the basketball court since it’s only been about four weeks since he’s been named one and even after a year he just knows he’s still not gonna be used to it. “That reminds me…skip another practice and I’m telling Minseok to kick your lazy, sorry ass,” Jongin says, effectively wiping the stupid grin off Yixing’s face, before going back to his seat and forgetting all about Do Kyungsoo and his large, dark orbs. ### “So captain, I heard you’re friends with that freakshow, err, Kyung-something—“ Jongin looks up to the sound of the obnoxious voice and sees Wu Fan staring at him with his permanent bitchface twisted into what he deduced was a smirk and as usual, stuck by Yixing’s side. He’s having lunch and he doesn’t appreciate seeing or hearing anything that may cause him to lose his appetite and that includes Wu Fan’s disturbing attempt at a smirk and rumors of him being friends with Do Kyungsoo. “You know Wu Fan, God gave you a brain for a reason and his reasons include using it to actually think and to not simply believe everything Zhang Yixing tells you,” Jongin says before quickly finishing the remains ofkimbap and japchae in case Wu Fan and Yixing decide to conspire and make him lose his appetite altogether. They’ve been friends since middle school and he knows them best of course, so when Wu Fan digs deeper into the subject despite Jongin’s blatant warning signal, Jongin isn’t really surprised. “Everyone’s talking about how you guys were all cozy and shit in the hallway earlier. Seems like you’re even more popular now ‘coz of that Kyung guy,” Wu Fan adds with a little snarky smile and Jongin knows Wu Fan’s most likely just repeating everything Yixing has told him so he directs the confused expression on his face to the shorter guy. Yixing smiles at him when he does, in between eating his favorite chips, his expression deceptively like that of a four-year-old who knows nothing of the ugliness of the world. “What are you talking about?” Jongin asks because usually it’s him who has enough popularity to rub off on other people and make them popular too, not the other way around.

“Do Kyungsoo seems to be famous—well, infamous really, considering the reason why almost everyone knows his name,” Yixing quips nonchalantly, feeding Wu Fan a piece of chip every now and then. Jongin is still clueless and he hates this feeling so he waits for a proper explanation. “Yeah, and you know what he’s famous for? You know those eyes of his? Apparently there’s this legend that if you stare directly into them you’ll get bad luck the entire year, like really bad luck,” Wu Fan adds eagerly and Jongin doesn’t miss the way Yixing smiles up at the taller man like a proud little master who thinks he’s trained his puppy well. That’s pretty much the best metaphor one can use for these two, Jongin silently concludes. “—like one time, back when he was a freshman, a teacher made a mistake and stared right into his eyes for more than 5 seconds and that afternoon he falls down the second floor stairs and dies. Can you believe that?” Jongin shakes his head no with disgust, before swearing to Wu Fan that that’s most likely the stupidest thing he’s ever heard and that’s saying something since he’s listened to Minseok’s theories about the therapeutic benefits of Chinese steamed buns. “No, seriously, you won’t believe all the bad luck he’s said to have caused—students call him cursed and shit and he doesn’t have any friends except a kid named Chany—err, Chan-something who’s just as weird as him. He does experiments on animals, that kind of shit—“ Wu Fan continues without missing a beat, more enthusiastic than he’s been in a while. Yixing gives him a small little pat on the head when he’s finished telling his story and Jongin almost wants to barf at the smile Wu Fan gives the smaller man. “Do you honestly believe any of this shit?” Jongin directs the question to the probable perpetrator. “Maybe, maybe not…but what matters here isn’t what I believe in,” Yixing answers with his usual clueless expression but Jongin doesn’t miss the pointed look in his eyes. Jongin shrugs the whole thing off because it really isn’t any of his business to be talking about Do Kyungsoo, curses and whatnot. And besides, he distinctly remembers having looked straight into Do Kyungsoo’s eyes for approximately 30 seconds or possibly more and if Wu Fan’s (well Yixing’s actually) story is accurate, he should have been hit by a bus by now or something and yet here he was, still very much alive and unhurt. Not that he believes in curses anyway. Curses have no place in Kim Jongin’s planned, practical existence. ### Jongin likes basketball, not because it’s exciting or because he’s lured in by the warm, sappy feeling of teamwork and camaraderie but because he’s very, very good at it. He’s naturally talented physical-wise and because his instincts are always quick, practical and on-point, his strategies and plays are almost to always effective.

No one in his high school (or the surrounding high schools for that matter) has ever managed to steal a ball from him, not even Wu Fan with his humongous body and strength that could easily overpower him or Yixing and his lightning fast reflexes, because all his actions are calculated and again, his practicality shines through and saves him useless effort and energy consumption. So when he gets the ball stolen from him by Yixing for the third time during practice game that afternoon, he knows something is very, very wrong. “Old age finally getting you to, cap’n?” Yixing teases after Jongin announces that practice is done. Jongin throws him a look which makes Yixing snicker in amusement. It’s not every day he manages to get pass Jongin’s flawless iron defenses and steal a ball from him so he’s relishing the moment as much as he possibly can. “Shut up. Your free throws still suck ass and your defense is vulnerable,” Jongin growls while wiping his head with a towel and avoiding Yixing’s probing gaze. He’s still in the middle of pondering how in the world had Yixing managed to get pass him earlier and he doesn’t need Yixing nosing into his business. “No need to worry yourself about me, cap’n, it’s my lucky day—“ Yixing says lightly, to Jongin’s annoyance, “—well that or someone else’s luck must be turning for the worse.” Jongin’s scowl grows even deeper and he opts to smack his friend in the head with his towel instead of justifying that suggestive comment with a comeback (which would just be him totally playing into Yixing’s hands). But Yixing is unfazed and seems more amused than ever and Jongin wants to wipe the small, almost invisible smirk on his face when he suddenly finds his neck tackled and trapped inside a strong, muscular arm. “Fuck—“ “Jonginnie, no one hurts Yixing on my watch,” says a very sweaty Wu Fan and Jongin curses even louder because Wu Fan is a brute who can’t control his strength and is currently choking the life out of Jongin. He can’t even insult him properly at the moment. “Wu Fan, let the poor boy go, he’s dying,” is Yixing’s simple order and Wu Fan finally lets him breathe. Jongin curses, throwing random insults to the big, hulking idiot that is Wu Fan, as he inwardly questions his own choice of friends. “Hey Xing, he’s mad because he sucked ass today, isn’t he?” Wu Fan stage whispers, throwing an arm around Yixing’s shoulders and leaning closer. “Now now Wufan, let’s not rub salt into our little Jonginnie’s wounds, he’s having such a difficult time already,” Yixing replies along with a pitying expression towards Jongin’s direction, followed by incessant snickering. “Fucking bastards, I don’t need your shit right now,” Jongin mutters as he stuffs everything into his duffle bag with a little more force than he intended since he hasn’t

quite reached a plausible conclusion concerning his less than perfect performance in basketball today. He ignores Wu Fan’s muffled snickering and Yixing’s annoying expression of mock sympathy as well as the nagging voice at the back of his head that maybe, just maybe, the cause of his sudden poor performance might be the effect of something more supernatural and less rational than say, simple lack of sleep or nutrition. Someone else’s luck must be turning for the worse, Yixing’s words flashes like an annoying, knowing echo inside his head before he shakes it away, the idea of entertaining such a thought almost as ridiculous as the context itself. Jongin searches his bag for his phone and digs deeper and everywhere when he can’t seem to get hold of it. Cursing, he empties half the contents, looks around the benches and even feels around his pockets but still no phone anywhere. Things are getting a little freaky now because Jongin has never misplaced his things before, he’s that meticulous and possessive of them, and especially not something as important as his cellphone. He ignores that nagging voice again and comforts himself with the rationalization that there’s a first time for everything. “Lost something, captain?” He turns to Yixing and sees the unreadable expression on his face before shaking his head no. He doesn’t need another suggestive comment on curses and freaky, bug-eyed seniors. He excuses himself a few minutes later, making a mental note to search every inch of his classroom and the chem lab when he gets Yixing and Wu Fan off his back. There is no such thing as curses. ### Shit, where the hell is it? Jongin’s searched high and low and his phone has yet to appear. He’s quickly losing patience, his cool and his sanity all in one go and he’s not above punching someone in the face right about now just to clear his head. He finally gives up around an hour of searching and makes a mental note to report his loss to the security office first thing the next morning. It’s late and his mom is probably wondering where he is and he’s completelyexhausted because of all the sudden weirdness today. As a man of planned practicality, Jongin hates weirdness and things out of context the most because he’s caught unprepared and his plans are disrupted. It’s after he exits the school and heads towards the gardens leading to the school gate when he hears the faint but distinct sounds of shoes scuffling, flesh and bone hitting against the other and low, angry voices.

He plans to ignore it again once he rounds up the corner but unfortunately, his luck must’ve ran away completely from him because they are right in front of the gate and smack in the middle of Jongin’s way. It is a crowd of just two this time, hovering over someone on the ground. “You little shit, how dare you fucking look at me in the eye—“ “Gonna cry, wimp? Want me to call your momma huh? She’ll probably thank us for fixing your face for you—“ Jongin is at a loss because he wants nothing more than to avoid this and he thinks of going the long way and around the small group but that would mean that Jongin does care because he’s obviously trying to avoid them and that’s the last thing he wants people to think. He grips his strap a little tighter and looks towards the far horizon before walking ahead, determined not to let anything affect him. He walks ahead, straight for the gate and he tries to ignore the painful gasps coming from the figure on the ground. “Get out of my fucking way,” Jongin growls when he gets near enough and the two students, juniors like him according the color of their IDs, give him one good, long look before scurrying away, tails between their legs. They are both shorter than him and skinny as shit and he wonders what kind of loser would be weak and stupid enough to get beaten up by a couple of pathetic-looking asswipes. “Thanks,” he hears a soft, familiar murmur near his feet and of course, why am I not surprised, is the first thing that comes to Jongin’s mind. “I didn’t do it to help you,” Jongin murmurs in reply and turns to the left towards the direction of the bus stop without looking at the figure on the ground. He almost jumps when he feels a hand circling his ankle, preventing him from moving and he thanks God silently for his quick reflexes or he might’ve fallen to his face. “What the fuck?” He yells and shakes off the hand on his ankle, directing a scowl towards his direction. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” It’s even worse, Jongin thinks, when he finally catches a glimpse of Kyungsoo’s pathetic, bruised figure, not because of the ugly wounds and bruises but because the idiot has a fucking smile on his little freaky face. He can only watch in confusion and annoyance as Kyungsoo struggles to sit up, all the while directing a friendly smile up at him like there aren’t any bloody cuts on his face. He should probably be sobbing or shouting for help or hating on someone but he’s just sitting there like it doesn’t even hurt, like he doesn’t even care that he can barely open his eyes and Jongin is once again, caught completely unprepared.

“Why did you help me?” Kyungsoo asks him, in between attempts to stand up. He takes out a handkerchief and presses it on a cheek like he’s done it a million times and it’s simply routine now to beaten half to death by schoolmates. Jongin feels nauseated all of a sudden. “I told you, I didn’t do anything to help you. I wanted to go home, they were in my way, end of story so don’t fucking thank me,” Jongin explains with exasperation and maybe mild surprise because he doesn’t know why he’s even explaining at all when he should be hurrying towards the bus stop and leaving. But Kyungsoo has managed to stand up and is looking at him again, one of his eyes closed shut and a thin line of blood running down one of the corners of his lips, but his expression is the same as the first time Jongin had talked to him. Jongin remembers the curse rumor and thinks for the first time that maybe, just maybe, the rumors are true and Do Kyungsoo’s wounds are proof enough of this unfortunate fate. “But you’ve never helped me before, you just pass me by all the time,” Kyungsoo responds with the same easy, friendly air and Jongin concludes that the boy might be retarded as well. “Come to think of it, no one’s actually helped me before except Channie so this is quite a new experience,” he adds in a manner which one would have talking about the pros and cons of white truffles over strawberry pie over tea time. “How many times do I have to fucking tell you, I didn’t even try to help you, stop assuming things,” Jongin is bordering on the edge of exasperated because Kyungsoo just keeps standing there and smiling at him like he’s some kind of savior, rubbing his hands and shuffling his tiny feet, giddy and excited. An uncomfortable feelings settles along the pits of his stomach, a kind of dread that tells him he might’ve just committed a huge, huge mistake sometime between the last half hour and he is going to regret this for the rest of his life. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone you helped me,” says Kyungsoo in a loud whisper, hand curved near his mouth and leaning closer, with a little understanding twinkle in his eye and Jongin wants to strangle him or maybe call back those cowardly idiots to start beating him up again. “Fuck!” Jongin curses, not bothering to tone it down, before stalking off and leaving Kyungsoo standing alone in the middle of the school entrance. His annoyance sticks with him all the way to the bus stop just several meters ahead and heat goes up to his head when he realizes he’s missed his bus and would have to wait for another half hour for the next one. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he turns around and to his horror, sees Do Kyungsoo still standing on the same spot he’d left him and now smiling and waving at him with his

unbroken arm. With a groan, he turns towards the corner and opts to just walk home instead of waiting for the bus and risking another encounter with Do Kyungsoo. Now that he’s witnessed it for himself, he’d have to agree that Do Kyungsoo is weird as fuck and Jongin doesn’t like weird. He despises weird. Weird is not in Jongin’s vocabulary, list of people he would invite to his birthday or wedding and options for chemistry lab partners. To his mortification, he realizes, around 40 minutes later when he finally reaches home, that he hasn’t stopped thinking about Do Kyungsoo since the moment he’s met him, accompanied by the sinking, clawing feel that maybe, just maybe, he might actually be cursed after all. He spends the better part of the next hour researching and listing down reasons why luck is nothing more than a pathetic defense mechanism only believed by people who don’t actually possess talent and ability to make it in the real world and reasons why Do Kyungsoo, weird as he may be, is not actually a walking jinx. ### Jongin never finds his phone and though he would never admit it to anyone else, has experienced a series of unfortunate events the whole 96 hours since first meeting Do Kyungsoo. From the simplest things such as bumping into a glass door and burning waffles to the most ridiculous ones like getting his history essay blown off by the wind only to end up floating in a puddle, the paragraphs beyond recognition. He still refuses to label whatever this was that was happening to him as ‘bad luck’ because that would mean he believes in luck. And he doesn’t. A series of coincidences, that’s all. “So rumor has it, uri little Jonginnie, that you and our resident freakshow are fucking. Please tell me that’s actually true,” the note Yixing passes to him during Geometry class says and Jongin doesn’t know whether to laugh hysterically or strangle Yixing or both. The urge for both is strong but he opts to give Yixing his middle finger instead. Yixing, being the deceptively clueless devil with a twisted sense of humor that he is, takes it as a yes and gasps dramatically from his seat two columns to Jongin’s right. Wu Fan, who’s sitting right in front of Yixing (the guy’s almost a foot taller but he sits in front of Yixing, go figure), returns Jongin’s finger with two and makes a face at him. Yixing smacks him on the head and motions for him to face front when he spies the teacher throwing suspicious looks at them.

Fucking idiots, Jongin thinks before he scribbles ‘where is this nonexistent rumor coming from you asshole’ on the piece of paper and stealthily passes it over to Yixing’s desk. Yixing’s smile grows even wider as he reads Jongin’s message and it only takes several seconds before Jongin receives a reply. “Someone saw you guys together in front of school and people say it’s either you guys are fucking or you’re cursed. I’d rather you guys are fucking to be honest, that seems more interesting,” is Yixing’s reply and Jongin knows he’s just trying to provoke him into a reaction so Jongin crumples the piece of paper and gives Yixing a rather convincing blank expression. To be perfectly honest, it doesn’t bother Jongin that people talk about him because people always talk about him but it sort of, kind of, maybe just a little bit bothers him that people are talking about him and Do Kyungsoo. Together, like in the same rumor. And if people are starting to become convinced that he’s actually under the infamous Eye Curse courtesy of a little bug-eyed senior, then it’ll only be a matter of time before Yixing and Wu Fan become convinced and annoy Jonging until he becomes convinced as well. And Jongin would rather that that doesn’t happen. Or just plain never would be a more ideal option. ### Jongin has avoided Kyungsoo like a plague these past few days and for the most part, he’s been successful in running towards the opposite direction or taking a quick turn when Kyungsoo’s large eyes pop out in the middle of the crowd up ahead of him. It’s more than easy to spot Kyungsoo from afar because if he isn’t with a tall, lanky guy that’s all teeth and curly hair, he can be easily spotted walking alone in the middle of the hallway, students sticking close to their lockers and obviously avoiding making any close contact. Despite the series of unfortunate and annoying events happening around him recently, he concludes that his luck-but-not-actually-luck-because-he-doesn’t-believe-in-it has apparently improved again when he realizes that four days have passed without any form of contact with Do Kyungsoo whatsoever. He’s still running into random glass doors and losing things but not seeing those large, probing eyes is in itself the closest he can get to normalcy. And that’s probably the only reason he’s sitting in the cafeteria with a rather smug look on his face and gorging on a hefty portion of mushroom and beef rice and dumplings without a care in the world (or displaying any action that pertains to him giving any fucks).

It seems though that the universe is extremely set on fucking him up whenever it decides that Jongin has been left alone too long and is starting to get used to being stress-free again. “Annyeoung, Jongin-ah,” a familiar easygoing voice cuts into Jongin’s peace and quiet (for once he’s actually enjoying lunch since Yixing had felt a sudden urge for Chinese and Wu Fan has of course, tagged along to make sure no one messes with him). It’s on complete instinct that he happens to look up at that exact moment and finds a familiar, bug-eyed face grinning down on him. Jongin doesn’t miss the intimate Jongin-ah and he has a sinking feeling that his mortal mistake from four days ago has perhaps given Do Kyungsoo the wrong idea that they’re higher up the relationship scale than mere acquaintances. He literally feels eyes all over them, judging and eyeing his reactions and their interactions like vultures, and Jongin decides quickly he doesn’t want to be the center of attention this way. He grabs his backpack and tray of food in quick, resolved motions and dumps his unfinished lunch in the waste bin before exiting the door. Once he’s out he’s finally able to breathe properly and Jongin hopes he’s just experienced a bout of paranoia because if that was real and it’d happen again, he isn’t sure if he’ll actually survive it with his dignity intact. “Jongin-ah, where are you going? You didn’t finish lunch yet,” The same perky but surprisingly husky voice suddenly says, accompanied by a brief touch on his shoulder that makes Jongin jump back, only to be greeted by a curious-looking Do Kyungsoo. He actually followed me, oh god, getting creepy, Jongin thinks as he starts moving again, no destination in mind and just hoping to get the farthest away from Kyungsoo he could get and it’s only when his voice starts cutting into Jongin’s thoughts that he realizes that Kyungsoo is keeping in step with him. “Jongin-ah, are you busy or—“ “Fuck! Why are you following me dammit!” Jongin stops and whirls around, causing Kyungsoo to collide with his shoulder. Jongin glares at the smaller boy, unable to comprehend the thickness of this boy’s skull (or his skin, for that matter) that he would come following a guy that’s so obviously avoiding him. Kyungsoo rubs his hurt nose before smiling up at Jongin again, eyes boring holes into Jongin’s face. “I thought I might invite you to have lunch with Channie and me since you were alone in there and it’s lonely eating by yourself—“ Jongin pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs; obviously, the boy is immune to all forms of subtlety and innuendo.

“I don’t like you and there is no fucking way I’m eating lunch with you and your weirdass friends, do you understand me?” Jongin says slowly and clearly, as though educating a five-year-old and for a second, the shocked expression on Kyungsoo’s face makes Jongin think that he’s finally, finally gotten through to him. He really couldn’t have said it any clearer. “But why?” Kyungsoo asks with a slightly tilt of his head like he really has no idea why in the world Jongin would ever dislike him and Jongin thinks he’s never felt the urge to punch someone in the face as bad as he does now. Because you’re annoying, you freak me out, you’re creepy, you might have cursed me and I might not be able to survive the next 11 months because of it even though I don’t actually believe in luck, Jongin thinks and he swears he can name at least 50 more reasons right off the top of his head but he opts to answer him with, “Do I need a reason to dislike someone? I can dislike whoever I fucking want okay so get the hell away from me, freak.” And Jongin whirls around to walk away when his wrist is suddenly pulled and he feels something pressed on his hands. “But if you talk to me, I’m pretty sure you’ll like me so don’t sweat it ‘til you’ve tried it. See ya later, Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo says with that smile again and then he’s off, as quickly as he’d appeared before Jongin, waving and acting like they’ve been best friends forever. Jongin, jaw slack with awe and disbelief, glances at the small box pressed onto his hands with a piece of paper stuck underneath the ribbon tied around it. After further investigation (made with extreme reluctance and wariness), Jongin realizes to his horror that he’s just been given a small box of cookies and a phone number. He’s really starting to believe he’s cursed. Is he really trying to pick a fight with me, Jongin thinks as he stares at the number and recalls his still MIA cellphone and at the box of cookies that he would mostly find disgusting just like everything else that’s sugary sweet. As he dumps everything in the nearest garbage can, he’s suddenly very, very thankful that Yixing and Wu Fan aren’t here to witness his luck-but-not-actually-luck-because-hedoesn’t-believe-in-it going from bad to worse. ### The next day Jongin doesn’t eat lunch in the cafeteria like usual because now that Do Kyungsoo knows where his lunch spot is, he’s completely convinced he’s not safe there anymore.

It’d only be a matter of time before the clueless-looking idiot would come crashing like a ton of bricks into his precious lunch time, sit his freaky ass in Jongin’s table without a care in the world and eat lunch with him like it’s his birthright. Kyungsoo’s given him his phone number and he cringes at the thought of the bug-eyed midget hitting on him. Of course he’s been liked, confessed to, even molested at times by a great number of fangirls and fanboys but the thought of Do Kyungsoo liking him is just—ugh. Jongin wonders what the consequences of turning down a boy called ‘Walking Jinx’ are, would he be cursed for the rest of his life? Would the rumored one year be extended to the proverbial seven years bad luck? Would he die a painful death that includes getting torn limb from limb then being run over by a ten-wheeler? The last thing he actually wants is to join the idiotic bandwagon and believe in the possibility of curses and jinxes but his mess of a life for the past few weeks after meeting Do Kyungsoo is making it really, really hard not to. Just this morning, he actually slipped in the bathroom tiles that weren’t even wet, just only barely missing his head hitting the sink but just when he’d thought he’d actually managed to survive unscathed, his uniform-clad arms land into the toilet bowl. Needless to say he’s late for the fourth time over a span of two weeks and another is going to raise some eye brows and land him in the disciplinary committee office. Sighing, he leans against the white, cement wall, biting off a piece of his sandwich. He’s abandoned Yixing and Wu Fan in the cafeteria (the two are probably too busy flirting and making sexual innuendos anyway) after finding a perfect spot for a peaceful, quiet lunch at the back of the school. He briefly wonders why he’s never tried going here when there are stone benches, flower gardens and no annoying, boisterous students around. Just the blue sky, my sandwich and m— “You little shit, you cursed me, didn’t you? That’s why I broke my leg and I got kicked off the soccer team—“ “But I didn’t—“ a familiar, husky voice answers followed by scuffling and rustling of clothes. And Jongin wonders why he even tries. “Shit, I was even trying to be nice to you, pitied you because you’re fucking getting beat up by everybody, but hell, why did you have to curse me too? You ruined my chances for college, shit—“ the angry, desperate voice says from somewhere behind Jongin, followed by the deafening crack of bone against flesh. When only a series of cracks and thuds follow, Jongin grits his teeth in annoyance and puts his half-eaten sandwich away since he thinks he’s probably not going to regain his appetite anytime soon.

He stalks towards the spot where a tall boy is clutching a smaller one by the collar, aiming to throw another punch and pulls Kyungsoo harshly back by the fabric of his uniform jacket. “Can’t a guy just eat lunch without any fucking interruptions around here?” Jongin mutters, looking at Kyungsoo and not the guy who actually started the fight. He assumes it’s the little guy’s fault anyway. “Jongin-ah, I—“ Jongin notes how Kyungsoo’s cheek is already bruising with an ugly shade of purplish red before he pushes the smaller boy behind him. “Stay the hell out of this, junior. This isn’t any of your business,” the taller boy says, his glare hostile and would probably be intimidating to anyone who had less confidence than Jongin. “It is my fucking business if an idiot disrupts my first peaceful lunch in a long while with his ridiculous bitchfit and makes me lose my appetite.” “B-bwoh? The hell d’you say to me, punk?” “You heard me, neanderthal. Blaming someone else for your irresponsibility as an athlete? Kind of cowardly and stupid, don’t you think? Does it satisfy you to blame other people for your carelessness? Makes you feel better?” “You little—“ Jongin watches with a little satisfaction when the senior’s face pales then blotches purple and Jongin easily stops a punch coming his way with one hand. The guy isn’t as strong as he looks, Jongin notes. After twisting the guy’s arm in one swift motion before pushing him to the ground, Jongin watches as the guy scurries away but not before throwing an evil, hostile glare towards his direction. It’s only when he turns around and sees the wide smile Kyungsoo’s giving him that he, Kim Jongin, personification of practicality, realizes that he has once again poked his nose into this person’s business. “You were really cool, like super, super cool,” Kyungsoo says with such obvious awe that might’ve looked comical if there wasn’t a bloody cut on his lip and a huge purpling bruise blossoming on his right cheek. “Do you even know how to fight back? Do you even know what the meaning of selfpreservation is? You can fight, you can run away, you can call for fucking help or do anything but you do not just stand there and get beaten up, you idiot,” Jongin snaps and he’s not aware he’s raised his voice to a deafening level because he’s just so pissed off at the moment with this bug-eyed freak that looks barely 14. Kyungsoo’s placed a hand on one of his ears at Jongin’s tirade, wincing and nose scrunching a bit.

“Are you done?” Kyungsoo asks later when Jongin finally shuts up, his voice sounding a little too perky and enthusiastic for Jongin’s taste. “No, I am not fucking done.” “Oh. Okay, I’ll wait then,” is all Kyungsoo says before wiping his face with a handkerchief and Jongin wonders if it would be moral to beat up someone you just helped from getting beaten up. Jongin massages his temples but it doesn’t work, he’s still pissed and he’s not even sure anymore about what he’s actually pissed about. “Are you a masochist by any chance?” “Hmm—no? I don’t think so, why—” “Then you’re just an idiot then. God, why is this happening to me,” Jongin mutters as he directs an angry glare towards the skies as though it were responsible for the tragedy that is his existence. He must be getting punished for minding his own business for the past 16 years and now he’s being forced to mind this particular person’s business. And he doesn’t know why it has to be with the worst person possible, a guy with whom trouble and bad luck go hand-in-hand with. He directs his angry scowl towards Kyungsoo who’s tilting his head to the side and smiling up at him expectantly. Jongin notes how some of the bruises on his face and neck that he’d first seen on him have already healed, only to be replaced by a fresh new set. Wait. If I befriend this guy, will that give me better karma? Jongin wonders to himself, trying to come up with a glorious rational answer to all of this. He still doesn’t really believe in luck but karma is a different matter altogether because Jongin firmly believes in the third law of physics, in equal consequences for one’s actions. Since he can’t seem to avoid having more encounters like these with the guy and he knows he’s been nothing but rude and mean to him so if he starts being nice, maybe, just maybe, things would at least start looking up even a little. Nothing left to lose, except my life anyway. “You.” Kyungsoo perks up at the sound of Jongin’s voice, his expression reminding Jongin of a puppy expecting a treat. “Yes?” “Go out with me,” is what Jongin says and Kyungsoo’s startled that it isn’t even a question but a statement. “E-excuse me, wha—“ “Go out with me, starting now,” Jongin says, arms crossed along his chest and a grim expression on his face. He’s determined to change his luck but that doesn’t mean he’s

gonna pretend to be happy doing it. He raises an eyebrow when Kyungsoo doesn’t respond for next few seconds and just stares at him with an unhinged jaw and eyes the size of saucers. “—unless, you’re going out with someone?” “N-no, not at all!” Kyungsoo says, with a quick shake of his head and motion of his hands. “B-but are you sure—I mean, why me?” “Why not you?” is all Jongin answers and he’s aware it’s not really an actual reason but it’s the best he can come up with at the moment. Kyungsoo just stares at him with widened eyes for several long seconds, too long that Jongin’s starting to get flustered under that probing gaze again. After a long silence, Kyungsoo finally breaks out into a smile and answers with a gentle okay and Jongin wonders why he’s suddenly feeling so relieved. Probably just nervous about sticking my hand into a bucket of piranhas, Jongin thinks as it’s what he’s associated his current situation of dating the Walking Jinx to. ### “Oh. My. Fucking. God. You guys really are fucking,” is Yixing’s first reaction when word gets to him that Jongin and Kyungsoo are dating and Jongin doesn’t even bother denying it. “We are going out and that’s not the same thing as the nasty things you and Wu Fan do, asshole,” Jongin answers while lacing up his black and red Nike and preparing for practice. “But if you do start fucking the cursed kid with evil intentions—“ “For the last time, I am not going to—“ “—isn’t that just asking for bad karma? You never know, his cum might get you pregnant or something tragic like that—“ Jongin’s jaw slackens a little. “—what the actual fuck, Xing.“ “Hey, anything’s possible. And who knows, you might even end up falling in love with him for real and then you’llreally know what it’s like to be fucked up,” is all Yixing says before plastering on that clueless little smile of his and sauntering over to where Wu Fan is currently changing shirts. He stares after the smaller man, dumbstruck as usual at his ridiculousness and notes the way Yixing smiles a little differently at Wu Fan nowadays and recalls how Yixing hasn’t exactly denied that he and Wu Fan are, in fact, fucking.

Jongin shudders at the thought. Fall in love? Yeah, that’ll be the fucking day, Jongin thinks before hopping off the bleachers and on to the courts, barking instructions to the vice-captain, Minseok and the team manager, Jongdae. From the corner of his eye, he catches Yixing whispering something into Wu Fan’s ear then Wu Fan sniggering and pointing towards his direction shamelessly. He makes them run 20 times more laps than usual and Jongin smiles smugly when they’re practically crawling by the end of practice. ### “What in the actual fuck do you think you are doing?” Jongin blurts out, face twisted in a strange mixture of awe and disbelief. Just when he thinks his luck is finally beginning to improve again (so far he hasn’t lost any games in basketball even though he still burns food, walks into glass doors and randomly breaks stuff), Kyungsoo comes crashing into his peace and quiet again like an overenthusiastic ball of burning radioactive gas. The 2-B classroom, which up until about 30 seconds ago had been boisterous and bustling with hungry, excited students, has now become eerily quiet and from the corner of his eye, Jongin could see his classmates staring at the small, bug-eyed figure smiling up at him. He’s pretty sure his classmates are going to refer to him as Walking Jinx 2.0 after this and avoid him like a plague, not that he cares about them all that much to actually mind. But the fact that Do Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to know the meaning of personal space, mainly because of the audacious manner he is currently invading Jongin’s, is still bothering the hell out of him. He doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo’s answer and drags him outside then towards the rooftop since the hallways are filled with staring, curious students. “What the hell do you think you were doing in my classroom?” Jongin repeats his question in the privacy of the uninhabited school rooftop, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. “Bringing you lunch?” Kyungsoo answers while indicating the three large, stacked lunchboxes he’s clutching to his chest with his skinny arms. His expression is so innocently simple, like bringing lunch to Jongin is the most natural thing in the world to him, that Jongin is caught unprepared again but the last thing Jongin wants to do is admit that his anger may have been a little uncalled for. “Listen, hyung. You are not in any way entitled to just come barging into my classroom and bringing me lunch that I didn’t even ask you to buy, got it?” Jongin looms over Kyungsoo’s small, lithe figure.

“Okay, but I cooked this myself though—“ “And even when two people are dating, there’s this thing we call ‘personal space’ and I don’t want you poking into mine. I don’t need any more unnecessary rumors spreading around, do you understand me?” Jongin adds, as though Kyungsoo hasn’t said anything but the moments the words leave his mouth and Kyungsoo’s expression wavers for a split second, he has to swallow down a wave of guilt. Then again, he’s not about to pretend everything’s fine and peachy when it isn’t. Kyungsoo nods slowly, his eyes wide and never leaving Jongin’s face. Jongin sighs as he notices Kyungsoo staring wordlessly and silence around Do Kyungsoo unnerves him too much to just let it continue. “What? You got something to say?” Kyungsoo perks a little at Jongin’s question. “Uhm, a—are you done?” Kyungsoo’s question is laced with uncertainty and shyness but his face has that eager look again that Jongin answers yes, I am fucking done, confusion written all over his face. At this, Kyungsoo’s face lights up considerably and he wraps a hand around Jongin’s wrist and pull him towards a spot near the railings. “Okay, let’s eat lunch right here, it’s so nice and sunny—” Jongin doesn’t even know what surprises him more, the sudden contact with Kyungsoo’s hand or the fact that Do Kyungsoo hasn’t even reacted normally when he was spazzing and chewing his head off earlier. Jongin knows he was just being honest with himself but he also knows he was being a damn asshole and Do Kyungsoo isn’t supposed to just listen to his insults then feed him food he doesn’t even deserve. Jongin’s anger comes rushing back in full force and he pulls back on his wrist, making Kyungsoo whirl around as well. “Are you stupid? Are you actually retarded? I’m being downright nasty to you, why aren’t you even getting the slightest bit angry?” Jongin’s voice reach max anger octave levels and he doesn’t even give a fuck; Do Kyungsoo is fucking with his beliefs about normal human personalities for him to pay his volume any mind. Kyungsoo winces but just smiles, as usual head tilted slightly in a familiar manner that Jongin has now come to associate with the smaller boy. “If I have time to get mad at everyone who’s being mean to me, I won’t have time for anything else. There’s really a lot of other things I’d rather do, like eat lunch for example. Plus, it’s really exhausting. Don’t you feel exhausted being mad all the time, Jongin-ah?” He says in that same carefree manner but the look in his eyes remind Jongin of an entirely different feeling, of deep, carefully veiled pain that he will never understand.

“But I—I don’t—“ Jongin doesn’t know what to say to that really because it is really exhausting but he doesn’t want to admit that to the guy he’s been nothing but angry and mean to. “Yes, it is exhausting, admit it.” Kyungsoo quips with a melodic little chuckle that warms Jongin’s ears more than he would like to admit. “There’s a lot more reasons to be happy than angry.” Jongin groans with reluctact defeat. “Fuck it, fine, it is fucking exhausting. But that doesn’t mean you can just take shit from anyone either, even from me. And aren’t you even the least bit curious why I asked you to go out with me when I don’t even really like you?” Jongin blurts out and for a second or two he thinks he might’ve gone too far this time but the expression Kyungsoo gives him is strangely confident and Jongin wonders where all this positivity (or insanity, he can’t differentiate the two when it comes to Do Kyungsoo) could be coming from in that little body of his. “It’s okay, I told you before that you’ll like me soon enough. I’m a pretty likeable person if I try my best to be,” is all Kyungsoo says with a cheeky little smile before proceeding to sit on the ground first and arrange the lunchboxes that look like they’re filled with enough food to feed at least 10. Jongin is speechless, words stuck to his throat for several long seconds as he watches Kyungsoo. He’s slowly learning that it’s incredibly hard to stay mad at Do Kyungsoo even though he’s an exasperating little thing. “I swear to god you are the most unbelievably thick person I’ve ever met.” Kyungsoo laughs and the strange, warm feeling of it washes over Jongin and seeps into his very soul. He blames it on the sun. “See? You’re starting to like me already,” Kyungsoo says before patting the space beside him. “Now come sit and eat, I have kimchi spaghetti, chicken, kimbap—” Kyungsoo continues listing off the food as Jongin rolls his eyes at his audacity but sits down anyway. He starts eating, telling himself that he’s hungry anyway, it’s no big deal but he soon finds himself moaning and groaning against his will at the perfection that is Do Kyungsoo’s kimchi spaghetti. Jongin’s raises an eyebrow at Kyungsoo’s smug little smile when he catches the smaller boy staring then ignores him as he decides to finish off two of the large lunchboxes all by himself, all the while feeling that Do Kyungsoo’s food tastes a little bit like his sweet but long-forgotten childhood.

“You’re a pretty decent cook,” he admits later, completely reluctantly and he immediately wants to take back the words when Kyungsoo beams up at him even more blindingly than usual. He doesn’t want the boy to think he’s starting to warm up to him, that’ll just feed his already ridiculous thickness. Jongin avoids Kyungsoo’s smile because looking any longer would’ve impaired his eyesight with all the shiny blinding positivity and he stares up to the white and blue sky and wonders how long it’s been since he’s last looked at it. Really looked at it. Not a cloud in the sky, no annoying stares, just good food and peace and quiet and Jongin thinks for a second that maybe his life is finally back to how it was before Do Kyungsoo. Then Jongin catches Kyungsoo munching on an eggroll and copying his action, pale neck craned upwards as the smaller boy’s eyes devour the blue expanse of the sky. It’s then that Jongin realizes that it’s impossible because just with this boy’s presence, his life has already been changed forever. Over the past few days, he’s discovered a few things about Kyungsoo and has at least learned to control his temper around him. He also learns that one of the weirdest things about Kyungsoo besides his personality is his choice of friends. “Jongin-ah, this is Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo introduces the tall, freaky-looking senior and it’s the first time Jongin feels legit fear after seeing someone smile. Park Chanyeol’s smile is all teeth, nothing but teeth, and gives off the impression that the older boy is imagining doing sadistic, painful things to him when he directs this particular smile towards him. He vaguely remembers something Yixing told him about Kyungsoo’s best friend and animal experimentation. He’s in the cafeteria and people are probably staring but Jongin’s become strangely used it. “Err—‘sup,” Jongin says, gripping Chanyeol’s extended hand. He quickly lets go when Chanyeol’s humongous eyes zoom in on his face, scrutinizing and invading his personal space. Jongin notes how the two friends are completely alike in this rude mannerism. “Your eyes remind me of a panther in heat—“ is what Chanyeol says to him in a voice that just amplifies his mad scientist aura before he’s elbowed into silence by Kyungsoo. Jongin’s jaw snaps shut. “What the—did you just fucking insult me?“ “No, he didn’t mean it that way. I apologize, Jongin-ah, he has a thing for animals. And he’s not used to being around other people besides me,” Kyungsoo explains with a small sigh, as Jongin glances suspiciously between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol as though

expecting one or both of them to pounce on him. One pair of large, probing eyes already unnerves the hell out of him, let alone two. He’s relieved when Chanyeol finally stops staring at him and looks to Kyungsoo instead. “Was there something wrong with what I said, Soo? You did tell me to be myself,” The boy named Chanyeol asks with a wide-eyed expression, as though it’s perfectly normal for him to refer to people’s eyes as similar to that of a panther in heat. “Of course not, Channie, it’s just that other people aren’t used to the animal reference and it might take them by surprise,” Kyungsoo answers with a smile, much like a mother indulging her small, five-year-old. “But you don’t get offended when I refer to you as a small, wild bush baby and I myself would be very flattered if someone compared me to the beautiful, sleek rainforest panther—” “I know, I know,” Kyungsoo says in a sympathetic voice while patting Chanyeol’s hand. Oh my god, what are they even, Jongin thinks, unable to get a word in because his jaw is busy trying to separate itself from his upper mouth at the moment. It’s official, Park Chanyeol and Do Kyungsoo are at the top of Jongin’s Crazy Bastards I Must Not Be Trapped On A Deserted Island With, along with Yixing, Wu Fan and Minseok who talks about nothing but buns, steamed or otherwise. He would’ve thought that no one would ever top Yixing and Wu Fan after that painfully embarassing and literally painful incident back in third year middle school including an underwear-only-clad Jongin, alcohol and a box of fireworks but then again, there’s a lot of crazy going around that he really just hasn’t discovered yet. Including the two people sitting across him who were currently discussing the main differences between llamas and alpacas (and deciding which animal reference to use for the guy sitting in the next table whom Jongin recognizes as football captain Choi Minho) as though they were talking about solving world hunger in a UN conference. “You guys are seriously fucking weir—” Jongin’s words are cut off a very unmanly shriek courtesy of bug-eyed kid #2. “Oh my God Soo, it’s him! He’s here, oh no, I should, I should leave—“ Chanyeol is flailing and panicking, anxious, large orbs staring at someone behind Jongin and he knows he’s going to regret it but Jongin sneaks a glance behind him anyway out of curiosity. There were other students eating and walking around, nothing remarkable like say perhaps an axe-wielding murderer that Jongin had the impression of after hearing Chanyeol’s melodramatic scream of horror. He could see a few familiar faces such as his

classmates Soojung, Sulli and Jiyeon along with Baekhyun and Joonmyeon, student council president and vice-president, but nothing really out of the ordinary. “Relax Channie, he’s not going to hurt y—“ he hears Kyungsoo say but Chanyeol suddenly runs away, his longs legs carrying him quickly although clumsily towards the opposite exit. Jongin stares at him, shocked and confused out of his mind before deciding he’s better off trying not to analyze Park Chanyeol’s thought process by himself. “What the fuck was that about? Is he on crack or something?” Jongin asks, eyes darting from Kyungsoo to Chanyeol who’d bumped his head into the exit door in his hurry before disappearing behind it, still screaming bloody murder. Kyungsoo flashes him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, he gets anxiety attacks when he sees—well when he sees Byun Baekhyun. Do you know him?” Jongin raises an eyebrow before nodding his head cautiously; of course, everyone in the school knows Byun Baekhyun, the highly-capable, highly-popular student council president who’s never been dethroned from his number one rank since stepping into high school. Since he’s been named basketball team captain, he’s had a few meetings with the student council members but he’d found Baekhyun pretty, friendly and decent, not the type who would induce running away while screaming in fear. “Lemme guess, he likes the guy but got dumped?” Jongin takes a wild guess. Kyungsoo makes a face, lips pursing into a wry grin. “Kind of. Chanyeol, Baekhyun and I were classmates during freshman year and well, he— Chanyeol told Baekhyun he fell in love at first sight with him—“ “Okay—“ “—because Baekhyun reminds him of his pet ferret,“ Kyungsoo says. “His beloved, dead pet ferret,” he finishes and chuckles with amusement when Jongin’s jaw drops in disbelief. “And also Baekhyun might’ve punched him in the face and threatened to kill every living ferret in the world if ever Chanyeol so much as looks at him again.” Jongin doesn’t even know how to respond to that except deduce that he’s right all along and there’s a lot of crazy going around that he hasn’t even seen yet. "Oh my god, I would’ve punched him too," Jongin responds, amused and horrified at the same time. Kyungsoo chuckles before biting into his sandwich. “Chanyeol’s not that bad, he’s just misunderstood. And to be honest Baekhyun’s forgotten all about it now and Chanyeol’s reaction to him is kind of just a habit he can’t get rid of no matter how many times I

explain the situation to him.” Kyungsoo sighs sadly, sympathy for the taller boy in his small, pale face before he finishes the last of his meal. Jongin sneaks glances for a few seconds before Kyungsoo notices him and he looks at his plate of fries instead. He doesn’t want to ask the question at the tip of his tongue because then he’d seem like he’s genuinely interested about Do Kyungsoo which he isn’t. Ah, fuck it. Jongin picks up a fry and chews on it, eyes darting everywhere in a pretense to be casual. “So why are you even friends with that guy? I mean, you’re weird but that guy takes the fucking cake,” Jongin mutters in between munching on the soggy, salty piece of fried potato. Kyungsoo looks up, a little confused for a few moments before a small smile touches his lips. “Well, most people don’t really like me but he does. He’s really kind, the type who’d never hurt meor anyone for that matter, at least not intentionally. I don’t expect much from people so I feel pretty lucky he’s my friend,” is Kyungsoo’s quick, simple answer and Jongin ignores the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach at his words. He grabs the bottle of Coke and takes a sip, almost choking when it comes down lukewarm and too acidic for his liking. He sneaks glances at the boy in front of him, happily sipping his milkshake like the kid he appears to be and he decides he doesn’t really like the look in Do Kyungsoo’s eyes when he talks about people. Jongin knows he’s one of these people, the ones who hurt and judge and display their delicate, narrow-minded humanity for the world to see. It’s not like he tries to be, Jongin is practical, just practical and like everybody else, he judges based on appearance and founded-or-unfounded nuances with little to no regard for a stranger’s feelings. The question is if he really wants to be like everybody else or not. “I won’t hurt you too, at least not intentionally,” is Jongin’s soft, murmured answer and he focuses on the food in front of him, not meeting Kyungsoo’s gaze. “I know,” is Kyungsoo’s gentle, lilting response and hearing the hint of blind trust and faith in his tone makes Jongin realize that maybe he doesn’t regret his decision as much as he probably should. ### “Fuck,” Jongin curses before throwing a death glare on the sleepy-looking freshman who’d just spilled bubble tea all over his uniform. The freshman, whose eyes are almost hidden behind his bangs apologizes quickly then scurries off to his classroom, Jongin’s glare growing darker and more murderous by the second.

It’s Day 14 of Dating Do Kyungsoo and over the past few days, he’s learned a lot about the older, enough to be able to tolerate him and maybe get along as well. Jongin can’t help but notice how the freaky things stop happening when he’s around Kyungsoo but even more than that he’s also a little proud of himself that he’s managed to at least keep Kyungsoo bruise-free and alive ever since they’d started ‘dating’. He comforts himself by reasoning that having a boyfriend who’s constantly getting beat up by people would reflect badly on him and not that he actually cares about Do Kyungsoo’s welfare. He’s also eaten lunch with him almost every lunch hour but today he’d blown him off when Yixing and Wu Fan managed to drag him to the nearest McDonald’s instead. He figures Kyungsoo might not like McDonald’s so he doesn’t invite him. He also didn’t miss the fleeting look of disappointment that passes through his small face either but it’s gone and replaced by that shiny blinding cheerfulness before Jongin could get a word in edgewise. And since then he’s tripped over nothing, failed his chemistry practical exam and the latest, been covered by a cold, icy splash of bubble tea. Just a few hours away from Kyungsoo and things already turn from bad to worse and his principles of practicality are once again challenged by the mindfucking universe. It’s study hall and he’s still got another class left after this but he doesn’t really want to attend History class smelling like taro. He uses his new cellphone to send a text to Yixing before heading out towards the gym, where the basketball team locker room and a spare set of gym clothes can be found. Along the way, he gets stopped by a tall, familiar-looking senior, the same one who was messing up Kyungsoo’s face just several days ago, his agenda obviously not friendly. Jongin shakes his head upwards in exasperation before pushing through, not in the mood for fights or whatever shit he wanted from him. r “Get the hell out of my way,” Jongin almost growls when the tall senior doesn’t let him pass. “I heard you’re going out with that guy—“ “None of your fucking business.” “—I’m not here to fight, I want to warn you. That rumor about him being cursed, it’s true. I didn’t even wanna believe it at first, but it’s true because I got into an accident after making friends with that guy so if you stay with him, he’s either going to ruin your life or kill y—,” the older boy says but before he can finish, Jongin’s fist connects with his face and his words are muffled by the ugly sound of bone connecting to flesh.

Jongin doesn’t even know how he ends up straddling the guy’s stomach but he continues hitting him with his fists, Kyungsoo’s bruised and bloody, smiling face coming up in flashes inside his head. Kyungsoo’s eyes barely open and slowly blackening, Kyungsoo’s pale cheeks stained with ugly purplish red, Kyungsoo’s neck and arms covered by cuts he hides with his uniform and Kyungsoo’s gentle voice telling himit’s alright, it’s okay not to get mad…all of it comes crashing into Jongin’s mind, springing up from the dark corners of his memories. Anger rushes into his head, almost dizzying as he thinks of Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo and how there’s still so many scars Jongin hasn’t even seen but knows is there, just lurking beneath the surface of his pale skin. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, you fucking useless asswipe, you sorry excuse for a human being,” Jongin mutters incoherently as he throws each punch, unable to even feel his fingers breaking against the impact. He’s hitting this stranger relentlessly and he just wants to keep hitting him just like he wants to hit everyone and everything but he thinks that even then his anger might still not be appeased. Because it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough of an atonement no matter how much this person bruises, the open wounds in Do Kyungsoo’s heart and soul will always, always hurt so much more. He’s angry, more angry than he’s ever been in his life, at this guy whose name he doesn’t even know but even more so, he’s madder at himself for having been, at some point, exactly like the asshole he’s punching and beating up to near death. It’s not until several minutes later when he feels several strong arms pulling him away and Kyungsoo’s husky voice telling him it’s okay, you’re okay now, calm down Jongin-ah that he finally wakes up and realizes that his fingers are ruined and there’s a huge lump in his throat that makes any apology impossible. ### “Shit,” Jongin curses, hissing as Kyungsoo dabs medicine onto his ruined hands. He’s spent the better part of the hour cleaning them up because Jongin refuses to be touched by anyone else at the moment, not even when the infirmary doctor tells him a few of his fingers are broken. Kyungsoo dabs gently on a broken forefinger and this time Jongin pulls back a little, cursing and hissing in pain. “Dammit, take it easy a little will you?” He complains and he notes with a little discomfort that Kyungsoo hasn’t said a word to him since they’d found him earlier. He knows he’s probably getting suspended for this and it might affect his captaincy of the team but at the moment he doesn’t care about anything else except the anger still inside him.

He doesn’t even know how many punches he’d managed to land on the asshole’s face from earlier but judging from the way he was still screaming and cursing, Jongin thinks it might not have been enough. “You didn’t have to hit him.” Jongin barely hears Kyungsoo’s murmured statement and he’s not even sure if he’d spoken up since Kyungsoo seems determined to concentrate on his fingers rather than his face. “Of course I had to. He was fucking asking for it, that asshole,” Jongin growls under his breath, wincing in pain when Kyungsoo starts wrapping up his fingers and knuckles with skilled, deft hands. Kyungsoo sighs and they lapse into silence for several minutes. Jongin doesn’t trust himself to speak up, even when Kyungsoo accidentally grazes his broken fingers and it hurts like hell, because he’s scared he might start breaking down and that’s the last thing he wants to happen. “The teacher said you’re gonna be suspended,” Kyungsoo says, his voice a gentle caress as he rolls the bandage carefully over his hand. “I don’t care.” Kyungsoo finally looks up and Jongin almost flinches visibly at the sadness in his eyes that weren’t veiled anymore and instead shone brightly in their glassy depths. “Well I do, I care. You didn’t have to get your hands dirty because of me, it’s not even worth it,” Kyungsoo says, his voice wavering slightly. Jongin doesn’t understand how but the glimpse of Kyungsoo’s vulnerability makes him even angrier and the feelings he’s tried hard to hold back come spilling out like word vomit. “I’m not like you, okay. I can’t just smile and pretend like nothing’s wrong even when there is. I’m angry. I’m mad because people here blame you for the shit that goes wrong in their pathetic lives and you—you just fucking smile and pretend like it’s okay—“ “But it is okay—“ “No, it is not fucking okay!” Jongin bellows, his voice raising octaves and even Kyungsoo flinches a little. “I’m mad at you too, I can’t even describe how mad I am right now. This is so fucking messed up and I don’t even know how you’ve managed to survive, going through this every single day—“ Jongin rants at the top of his lungs, eyes unfocused as he spews everything and anything, all of the thought that he hasn’t even known until now were always there, just waiting for him to snap and realize their existence. He’s not even aware that he’s barely coherent, panting and breathing heavily with his chest feeling so constricted, vision unfocused. It’s only when he’s enveloped by a pair of skinny arms and he feels his face pressed against Kyungsoo’s shoulder that he realizes it’s tears that are blurring his eyesight.

“Jongin, Jongin, ssssh. It’s going to be okay,” Kyungsoo whispers against his ear and Jongin takes in the warmth of his body, his words and the gentleness of the hand rubbing his back and thinks that life is so very unfair. He lets Kyungsoo hold him and Jongin vaguely smells freshly-baked cookies, vanilla and something else that reminds him of home on Kyungsoo’s uniform. He feels exhausted, so very exhausted and Kyungsoo’s warmth is balm of relief. He tries to breathe but the air gets stuck in his throat and he has to try several times before he can compose himself to choke out intelligible phrases. “I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry, I just—” He wants to say more but he doesn’t know where to start and how exactly to apologize when he knows the words will never be enough anyway. But Kyungsoo’s whispering to him, rubbing his back so gently like he understands and he forgives him for being human. “Sssh, it’s okay.” “I told you before, didn’t I? Getting mad is exhausting and it’s painful. So don’t get mad anymore, Jongin-ah,” he hears Kyungsoo tell him, his voice breaking almost inaudibly again but Jongin hears it, Kyungsoo’s pain and exhaustion. It’s not really that Do Kyungsoo is weird and doesn’t get mad, he’s simply weird and chooses not to get mad. The realization hits Jongin belatedly but he’s not the perky, shiny ball of sunshine Kyungsoo is and he can’t let go of his all too human tendencies that easily. “Oh just shut up and let me be mad because someone needs to be angry here and if you don’t want to do it then I’ll be fucking mad for you,” Jongin almost growls against Kyungsoo’s shoulder, making Kyungsoo chuckle softly in return and Jongin feels his anger mixing then slowly ebbing away at the warmth that courses through his body. When Kyungsoo finally lets go, Jongin immediately misses the warmth and the closeness and he tells himself it’s ridiculous to feel this way because he doesn’t even like Do Kyungsoo very much. “I’m really glad you asked me out, Jongin-ah,“ Kyungsoo whispers with a small smile before leaving to call the nurse and it’s a few seconds later that Jongin decides that he maybe, just maybe, he might be glad too. ### Jongin gets suspended for a week and an earful from both his father and mother and he doesn’t bother defending himself.

He remembers his mother telling him that the asshole’s family decided not to press charges and Jongin thinks with smug satisfaction that maybe the asshole’s finally becoming human and learned the meaning of guilt. He’s realized later after the incident that he might have overdone it a little but when he recalls every sorry state he’s seen Kyungsoo in, the bruises, the cuts and the black-eyes, Jongin figures he doesn’t regret it one bit. It’s Day 2 of his house arrest and news from Yixing and Wu Fan tells him that he’s currently the school’s hottest gossip topic, that he’s also been hailed as the resident badass and much to his relief, that no one’s bothering Kyungsoo anymore. Kyungsoo, who seems to be technologically-inept, only texts about what he’s cooked for the day, about Chanyeol, about his favorite subjects, Home Economics and Music and everything else unremarkable in brief but carefully-structured messages and always with the usual ‘are you okay? Don’t overwork your hands’ at the bottom that is so very Kyungsoo-like Jongin can almost hear him saying it through the phone. And uninteresting as they may be, Jongin reads his texts anyway, laughing to himself when he imagines Kyungsoo struggling with his cellphone. He’s never actually replied once to Kyungsoo, not that there was anything worth replying to his texts really. But nevertheless Kyungsoo texts him diligently almost every hour anyway and Jongin imagines him sitting like the eager, studious little midget that he is, listening to the teacher then fumbling with his cellphone the moment the bell rings to report all the boring things he’s learned. He imagines Kyungsoo’s large eyes staring up at him with that open, trusting expression, Kyungsoo force-feeding him carrots and fussing on him like a damn mother and recalls every adora— Wait, what? No, I mean idiotic and naïve, yeah, Jongin thinks, shaking his head as puts down his cellphone and opts to surf the internet for something interesting instead. He pushes away any thoughts with adorable, cute and Do Kyungsoo in the same sentence to the back of his mind and effectively forgets about it until about an hour later when Kyungsoo texts him that about his dilemma concerning strawberry and vanilla milk. ### To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing so hav u two fucked yet? kyungsoo seems smiley nwadays.

don’t tell me ur actually preggers X) To: Spawn of Satan From: Jongin y don’t u do something productive lyk suck Wu Fan’s dick & stop txting u asshole. and stay away from kyungsoo. To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing don’t want. :P we hav lunch 2gether now. i eat your portion of spaghetti. wu fan is surprisingly getting along w/ his weird friend. chanyeol calls me bunny tho. so r u preggers? O.O or just pms-ing? To: Spawn of Satan From: Jongin wtf?! stay away from kyungsoo. you’ll corrupt him. and don’t eat my spaghetti u fucker. To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing s it just me or s a certain jonginnie whipped? don’t worry, i won’t tell ;D To: Spawn of Satan From: Jongin fuq u. I AM NOT WHIPPED U PRICK.

don’t associate me with wu fan. To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing at least my fanfan isn’t in denial about being whipped. WHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPP EDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHI PPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDW HIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPE DWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPEDWHIPPED To: Spawn of Satan From: Jongin i am blocking u. B-L-O-C-K-I-N-G. To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing block me and kyungsoo will see BABY PICS. ur NAKED, DROOLING, GHEEEY bb pics. To: Spawn of Satan From: Jongin fuq u. y am i even friends w/ u. fuq u. To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing coz u luv me bb. but u r still, WHIPPED. To: Spawn of Satan From: Jongin …

To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing … To: Spawn of Satan From: Jongin ignoring u. To: Captain Krunch From: Starxing … WHIPPED. Jongin groans against his bed and throws away his phone, cursing its existence for the next five minutes before he receives a text from Kyungsoo telling him how cute he looks with a big red ribbon and a frilly, polka-dotted dress. Jongin mentally strangles Yixing and fervently wishes for a dark, desolate corner he could crawl into and die of humiliation. ### It’s three days later when he sees Kyungsoo again. It’s around 8 p.m. and since both his parents are doctors who work odd hours, he’s been stuck at home alone for the most part and he’s finally felt that the walls are closing in on him. He’s never really been much of an indoors type, he’s more used to running around and stretching his body than just sitting down and doing absolutely nothing. After going on a short jog around the nearby park, he decides to stop by a convenience store for ice cream, milk and his favorite snacks. “Hyung?” is the first thing he manages to blurt out when he sees Kyungsoo’s small, lithe figure in front of a large refrigerator in the same convenience store, brows furrowed and in deep thought. He’s still in his uniform and Jongin distinctly recalls Kyungsoo mentioning something about going shopping for food before going home. Kyungsoo’s face though immediately lights up when he sets his eyes on Jongin and Jongin feels a little bothered that he’d only put on simple track pants and a thick black sweater over his shirt. He immediately dismisses the thought because to be bothered by his clothes around Kyungsoo is very, very impractical. “Jongin-ah!” He stops in mid-wave and his thick brows once again furrow with concern. “Wait, is it okay for you to be out like this? You’re injured,” Kyungsoo’s asks, frowning

his disapproval and Jongin chuckles before pressing an unhurt finger to the shorter boy’s forehead. “My hand is fine, now what are you getting here?” Jongin changes the subject and effectively sweep Kyungsoo into cordial debates on coffee versus strawberry ice cream and the best Lays chips flavor and where the spiciest ramen in town can be found as they shop for stuff together. Jongin notices how Kyungsoo’s uniform isn’t stained with dirt and mud like it would’ve been three weeks ago and his face and neck are almost devoid of every trace of his wounds and bruises. A mixture of relief and something else he doesn’t know what to name blooms inside his chest. They pay for their own purchases, with Kyungsoo mostly returning half the things in his cart, firmly insistingthese are bad for your body, Jongin arguing that I want to eat salty things, okay, don’t be such a damn motherand Kyungsoo winning the fight anyway. “So heading home?” Kyungsoo’s question breaks into Jongin’s sulking silence and he notices the way Kyungsoo’s lips turning upward so very slowly in a small smile, head tilted slightly to the side like he enjoys looking at Jongin from different angles. “My house is over there,” he adds, pointing to the direction opposite from where Jongin’s house is located. “Cool, I—-my house is on that direction too,” Jongin says and he feels the urge to kick his own ass for lying and stuttering even. He could have just said he wanted to walk the guy home but Jongin doesn’t really want to admit it to Do Kyungsoo and neither to himself because then that would mean something different, something Jongin doesn’t really want to recognize. Kyungsoo’s brows furrow in confusion and for a moment, Jongin’s scared he might’ve seen through his lies. He sighs inaudibly with relief when Kyungsoo smiles at him and nods, before leading the way. The walk to Kyungsoo’s house is filled with mindless, often stupid but never-ending debates and Jongin realizes that he and Kyungsoo have mostly very different tastes and preferences in music, food, fashion, movies and even European football teams. They’re always in the opposite sides of the spectrum in every topic and he wonders where it is they meet, which parallel universe would their worlds collide and meld into each other. He also realizes that talking to Do Kyungsoo might just be the easiest, most natural thing he’s ever done in a long, long while. They talk about absolutely nothing and absolutely everything and Jongin wonders to himself when conversations with Kyungsoo had started becoming this easy. Probably since the beginning, he admits to himself because Kyungsoo has always been honest and open while he’s just spent most of his time busy getting mad and thinking ridiculous ideas to pay enough attention.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo softly tells him after a brief silence and Jongin is surprised by the seriousness of his voice. Kyungsoo catches the confused expression on his face and gives him a wry, apologetic smile. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt and suspended. You know what, I’m maybe I really am bad—“ Kyungsoo says in a low voice, before Jongin cuts him off with a harsh stop it. The apologetic expression never leaves Kyungsoo’s face and Jongin feels that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach again. “It is not your fault so don’t apologize to me. And don’t ever apologize to other people either. And don’t listen to what those other ignorant assholes tell you or I’ll start kicking your ass too,” Jongin threatens, narrowing his eyes for effect at Kyungsoo who just smiles softly under the comfortable dim of the moonless night. “You know, my mother, a long time ago—she—“ Kyungsoo pauses and Jongin can almost hear the hesitancy in his voice, “—she got into an accident when I was five because of m—“ “It wasn’t your fault,” Jongin cuts him off, almost growling his response. Kyungsoo is silent for several long seconds and Jongin wonders if he’s thinking about it and blaming himself. “What—what makes you so sure it wasn’t?” His voice is low and husky and Jongin barely catches the slight wavering in his tone. “Because I’m Kim fucking Jongin and I just know okay? I don’t really give a fuck no matter what anyone else says but since I know you, I’ll only believe you so stop questioning me. And there’s no such thing as bad luck,” Jongin says with certainty that surprises even himself and he doesn’t catch Kyungsoo’s expression since he’s looking ahead to avoid untoward accidents. Kyungsoo lapses into silence once more and doesn’t speak again until reaching his house but Jongin notices how he’d moved a little closer until their arms and hands touched and collided as they walk. “This is me,” Kyungsoo informs him when they reach a green gate with vines traveling romantically along its expanse, giving it a storybook appeal. Jongin can see the house beyond it and it’s small compared to his own but it must be warm inside, he thinks, because Kyungsoo is living in it and any home with Kyungsoo in it must be warm. Jongin looks to his companion and he could see a slight blush on Kyungsoo’s cheeks as the older boy fidgets in his place. The word adorable springs into his mind again and this time Jongin doesn’t chase it away and thinks instead that it’s somehow perfect for the small, restless and pink-cheeked Do Kyungsoo in front of him. “You know, I have a confession to make,” Jongin says, making Kyungsoo look up, startled.

Jongin feels a little sheepish about what he’s about to confess and he rubs the back of his neck for a bit, unable to meet Kyungsoo’s large orbs. “Well you know that day when you—you gave me that box and your number and I was mad and rude as fuck—well, I kinda threw your cookies in the garbage. Sorry.“ Kyungsoo’s eyes widened with surprise before realization dawns in his expression. “Oh yeah, you don’t like sweets,” he murmurs thoughtfully. Jongin perks up at that, relieved that Kyungsoo isn’t going to go apeshit on him (but then he is Do Kyungsoo and when does he ever get mad). “So it’s all good r—yah!” He clutches his sore forehead as Kyungsoo chuckle with amusement after giving him a quick, punishing flick. “Okay, now I forgive you. But the next time you waste food again, I’m giving you double of that,” Kyungsoo reproaches and Jongin nods his head vigorously, traumatized by Kyungsoo’s quick but effective flicks. Kyungsoo’s chuckles increases when Jongin rubs the sore spot and gives him a small, playful pout. “There, there, poor Jongin,” Kyungsoo comforts him, playing along as he helps Jongin rub his reddening forehead. Jongin doesn’t tell him to stop even when it doesn’t hurt anymore but his pout turns real when Kyungsoo takes his hand away to give him a small wave. “I’ll go in so you can go home. Be careful and watch both sides of the proad, okay?” Kyungsoo reminds him for the hundredth time, his large eyes clear even against the dimness of the night time. “Yes, mother,” he answers with a small, amused chuckle, more than used to Kyungsoo’s coddling. Then he whirls around, about to go to the direction they’d just come from when he realizes that he’d lied and told Kyungsoo that his house is in the same direction. He turns around again, hoping Kyungsoo hadn’t caught that, throwing in a little nonchalant whistling as he digs his hands into his pockets. He feels his cellphone vibrate a few minutes later and he literally feels his cheeks warm up in the middle of the cold December night when he reads the text he’d received: To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo Stop pretending to be cool and go home now. Thanks for walking me. Take care. Dammit, Jongin mutters under his breath, chuckling to himself and feeling warmer and lighter than he’s ever had in years as he skips and hums all the way home.

To: AlienSoo From: Jongin abt those pics… i was young & didn’t knw better ok. To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo It’s okay, we all have our phases. :) Bulgogi or the usual? To: AlienSoo From: Jongin NO. it was all umma ok, not a crossdresser. u hav to understand that. X( Both? To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo I do understand. I understand you like pretty dresses. ;) Yixing says you also like pink and Dress Up Games. Okay. Will cook bulgogi and kimchi spaghetti for lunch tom. :) To: AlienSoo From: Jongin fuq it, I DON’T LIKE PINK, DRESSES AND GAY THINGS OK. fyi, wu fan likes those. there are unicorn & fairy princess games in his phone, CHECK IT OK. and egg rolls too? ^_^

To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo Really? O.O That’s surprising. Chanyeol likes Hello Kitty games, maybe that’s why they get along. Yixing is really nice, he tells me a lot about you. ;) Egg rolls, got it. :) To: AlienSoo From: Jongin wu fan & yixing r dumb, don’t listen to them. EVER. they’re all LIES. esp abt middle school. L-I-E-S i tell you. And soondae too? ^_^ To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo Hey Jongin, Yixing told me about what happened in middle scho| Delete. To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo Jongin, Yixing told me how you stood up for him from bullies back in middle school, even though you were bullied yourself, I just want you to kn| Delete. To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo

Jongin, I just wanted to tell you that I know you’re a kind person, even though you don’t like being called kind and that I lo| Delete. To: AlienSoo From: Jongin yah, soo, r u still there? did u fall asleep? wat about my soondae? X( To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo I’m still here. :) Sorry, I didn’t buy sausages from the supermarket earlier. Maybe next time? ^_^ To: AlienSoo From: Jongin aish, ur starting 2 sound lyk wu fan. don’t hang w/ them 2 much. fine. :( i want soondae d nxt day. ^_^ To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo We’ll have soondae on tuesday then. But only if you promise to eat less salty food & more vegetables. Esp carrots. ^_^ To: AlienSoo From: Jongin

ugh. fine. >.< gotta get back to my game now, beating yixing’s ass in HoN. lmao To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo Okay. :) But…hey Jongin? To: AlienSoo From: Jongin wut? O.o To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo I just wanted to tell you that I’m here for you no matter what. And that I think you’re really nice. :) Jongin blinks several times at his phone screen. The sound of his character getting pawned by Wu Fan’s and Yixing’s drift by unnoticed, his mind still busy processing the text he’d just received. There’s that weird feeling he doesn’t want to name again settling in his stomach, going up his spine and making his heart pound erractically. This isn’t practical, he thinks but the pounding is too rapid and annoying for him to ignore. He’s silently glad none of them are actually in his room right now or someone might’ve seen his face and Jongin’s just not sure what’s written all over it and if he wants people to know what it is. To: AlienSoo From: Jongin wat’s w/ d sapfest all of a sudden? u weirdo. sleep alrdy.

To: KimchiJong From: Kyungsoo Good night, Jongin. See you tomorrow. :) He ignores his phone for the rest of the evening but the pounding never stops and his mind drifts to a certain bug-eyed senior way after he falls asleep in front of the computer. ### It’s several weeks after he’s allowed back to school that Jongin finds himself sitting in front of a hospital room, his fully-healed fingers clenched tightly into fists. But he could barely feel his fingers digging into his palms; in fact, he can barely feel anything at the moment as his heart is clenched and his body is numb with an almost palpable fear and dread. Kyungsoo’s fainted after he’d simply complained of a headache and three hours later, Kyungsoo’s still unconscious which is the main reason he’s been driven into the hospital in an ambulance instead. His doctor has just told him something unbelievably unreal that Jongin refuses to believe it and he doesn’t want to stare into Kyungsoo’s pale, unconscious figure anymore because reality’s slowly sinking in and he doesn’t want it to. It was just a headache. It’s the first time Jongin’s ever felt fear this cold and anger this painful and he wants to start punching things again, if that could somehow relieve him of these uncomfortable feelings just like last time. He barely hears the nurse inform him that Kyungsoo’s finally woken up and it takes him a few minutes and several long breaths before he gets up and enters the small, sterile room. When Jongin finally raises his head up and catches glimpse of Kyungsoo’s small, lithe body, skinny even in his thick winter uniform, life is fucking unfair is the first thought that passes through his mind. “How long?” Jongin’s voice breaks a little but he barely notices. “I don’t know,” Kyungsoo answers as he slowly tries to sit up, not even pretending to misunderstand the question. Jongin rakes a shaky hand through his hair before looking at Kyungsoo.

“What the fuck do you mean by you don’t know? You’re dying and you don’t even know—“ “Would it matter really? Knowing how many days or years or seconds I have left?” Kyungsoo asks with that familiar slight tilting of his head while Jongin is just trying not to shake him by the arms or throttle him by the neck. He’s never been so pissed in his entire life and the worst part is that he doesn’t even know who he’s actually mad at. “Of course it fucking matters—“ “Not to me,” Kyungsoo cuts in with a simple phrase, like it really doesn’t even matter and Jongin wants to start breaking things. If he were the one dying, the first thing he’d want to know is how long and the fact that Kyungsoo doesn’t even care makes him go crazy. Stepping closer to Kyungsoo’s bed, he clenches his fists to his sides and instead of punching the nearest thing he can get his hands on, he opts instead to ask— “Why?” Kyungsoo smiles at him, just a small upturn of his lips that looks apologetic to him and it’s then that it dawns to Jongin that of course Kyungsoo must be taking this a whole lot worse than he is. But because he is Do Kyungsoo, he’ll pretend to be a happy-go-lucky idiot and ignore it for the less depressing things in life. “Numbers, they—they don’t lie. If I’m given a number, I’m going to start counting whether I want to or not. And if I start counting, I’m afraid—” Kyungsoo says, his gaze wavering a little and Jongin catches a glimpse of his vulnerability for the first time. “— I’m afraid I’ll stop living.” Jongin doesn’t want to hold him, afraid that Kyungsoo might break or he might and that’d be even worse. “But—but don’t you at least wanna know? So you can say goodbye? So you can do the things you want do? So you can prepare and—and be ready and—“ His words are stopped by Kyungsoo’s warm hand against his cheek and his smile breaking Jongin’s heart slowly. “Jongin-ah, we’ll never be ready for it. Not even if we had a hundred years left,” is all he says and Jongin doesn’t even want to affirm or negate it anymore because he knows Kyungsoo is right. Jongin’s legs suddenly feel like they’re unable to support him and so he sits down beside Kyungsoo, hands on his hair and his eyes shut close and refusing to open up and face reality. “Fuck…fuck, fuck,” he curses under his breath and he doesn’t know if he’s spatting on God or Kyungsoo or the universe in general because all he knows is right now, everything is just really, really unfair. Jongin feels rather than sees Kyungsoo shifting on the bed, his warmth radiating even though they weren’t even touching.

“Think of it this way, Jongin-ah. Since I don’t know really how long exactly, I’m free to think I’ve got forever, right?” is what Kyungsoo says but Jongin barely registers. Kyungsoo’s moved closer to him and Kyungsoo feels so warm and alive that Jongin doesn’t understand why and how he could be wasting away. “We don’t have to count, we just have to live.” Kyungsoo doesn’t look sick, he doesn’t feel sick and if anything, he looks so much more alive than Jongin has ever been so Jongin doesn’t know how to connect the prospect of death with the boy beside him. Jongin feels Kyungsoo’s head on his shoulder and he feels relieved since he can continue hiding his face that must look like shit and super uncool right now. “Fuck this. I don’t understand it, why the hell are you dying when you like living so much? I don’t even like it that much and I’m still fucking healthy, dammit,” Jongin mutters against his hands and next thing he knows, Kyungsoo is forcing his shoulders towards him, flicking him on the forehead with a finger and nagging on him. Jongin doesn’t argue or retaliate like he normally would and for the first time since he’s met Kyungsoo, he lets him get away with acting like a parent because for the first time, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, he’s going to miss this annoying habit of Kyungsoo’s. “—and maybe if you stop being such a damn stuck-up idiot all the time, you’d actually enjoy it—“ “I love you,” Jongin says, cutting off Kyungsoo’s tirade and stunning him into silence. “Wha—“ Jongin isn’t sure where the words are coming from: his mind, his heart or maybe every pore in his body, but once the first phrase is out, the rest trickles out of his lips like running water. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I—“ Next thing he knows, Jongin is holding on Kyungsoo tight and repeating the phrase over and over against his neck because he desperately wants Kyungsoo to understand and he doesn’t have the luxury of time to do it. The words aren’t enough, don’t feel enough, no matter how many times Jongin repeats them and he’s gripped with the fear that he might not be able to say them enough before Kyungsoo leaves for a place where Jongin will never be able to reach him. Jongin feels Kyungsoo’s hand against his back and wet warmth trickling down the side of his neck where Kyungsoo’s buried his face. He barely hears the faint murmurs of I love you too over the sound of his own voice and the hammering of his chest and he wonders how it’s possible to feel so happy and sad at the same time over four short words that have never, up until 30 seconds ago, sounded remarkable to him.

Jongin doesn’t know when he stops talking and starts biting his lip so he doesn’t sob instead. All he can really grasp at the moment is Kyungsoo’s warmth, Kyungsoo’s softness, Kyungsoo’s scent and Kyungsoo’s little hands grasping desperately against the fabric on his back. Just four days ago he’d been teaching Kyungsoo how to properly dribble a basketball and Kyungsoo had been squealing and tripping over his own feet, laughing breathlessly and never even making one successful shot. Just last night he’d been sitting in Kyungsoo’s living room, cheering and shouting profanities at the NBA semi-finals showing on the television with Kyungsoo’s father, who was a big basketball buff and had all but adopted Jongin as his son after finding out he was the star of their school’s team, while Kyungsoo nags on them both for spilling popcorn all over his tidy living room. Just three fucking hours ago he and Kyungsoo were sitting on the roof and talking about soda flavors, Chanyeol’s nonexistent lovelife, Jongin’s crazy friends, Kyungsoo’s dreams of becoming a chef and everything else in between just like usual. Just like usual and Jongin doesn’t understand how in a split second, with just a few careless phrases, it seems like the universe had suddenly turned on him and randomly decided to take it all away. He wonders if it’s selfish, if it’s a sin to be angry and so full of hate as he is at the moment but then he’s entitled to this little bit of selfishness when he’s feeling so very human and helpless as hell. “We’ll be alright, we’ll be just fine,” Jongin hears a faint murmur against his ear but the words don’t produce the desired comforting effect like Kyungsoo had probably meant them to. Because all Jongin wants is to hold on to this warmth that God, the universe or the angels are all trying to steal slowly, painfully away and keep it to himself forever. “Jongin-ah, we’ll be just fine, I promise.” ### February 2013 Two months later, Kyungsoo doesn’t faint again but the headaches are getting worse, Jongin notes. They still text and have little meaningless debates late into the night until they both asleep or until Kyungsoo orders him to but Jongin notices how the nights Kyungsoo falls asleep much too early in the middle of the conversation have been slowly increasing. Each time he walks Kyungsoo home, he clenches his smaller, paler hand a little harder and for a second longer, hoping, just hoping, that it’s enough to keep the bad luck, the jealous God and angels and the unfair universe away for just a little while longer.

### March 2013 The headaches are even worse and Kyungsoo forgets even more things. His texts are sometimes a messy jumble of letters and Jongin tries not to cry when he imagines Kyungsoo’s vision blurring. Kyungsoo forgets to cook more a couple of times but Jongin reassures him with a smile that’s more confident than his heart that it’s okay to eat at McDonald’s every now and then. Kyungsoo smiles back as usual but Jongin misses the small, adorable tilt of his head and the mischievous twinkle in his eye. ### May 2013 It’s supposed to be Kyungsoo’s graduation from high school but Jongin is beside Kyungsoo’s bed and clutching at his cold, weak hand as tightly as he can without hurting him, whispering words of adoration in his ear. He’s fainted again, Kyungsoo’s father told him, just as they were leaving for school for the ceremony. Jongin had already been there, waiting in the gym with a bouquet of store-bought flowers at hand, watching with amusemet as Chanyeol ransacks the place trying to get away from Baekhyun who was determined to congratulate him. He’d felt restless when Kyungsoo and his father still hadn’t arrived when the opening remarks were being given and his heart had literally thundered in his chest when he got the call. He tells Kyungsoo that he can’t wait to eat his kimchi spaghetti again and go to Japan with him just like Kyungsoo’s always dreamed of and Jongin hopes that Kyungsoo still hears him even in his unconsciousness. ### August 2013 Jongin’s gone home for the first time in two weeks and it’s only to pack more clothes and leave his dirty laundry. He manages to clean up his room a little and wonders how it could’ve gotten this messy when he’s barely stayed there for the past few months. He finds his old cellphone, the one he’d thought he’d lost months ago and he recalls, with regret, that maybe if he’d looked a little harder that time instead of blaming bad luck, he

wouldn’t have had to go buy a new one. And if he hadn’t spent all that time getting mad at Kyungsoo, maybe he could’ve realized just how perfect Kyungsoo is a little earlier. The first thing he does when he returns to Kyungsoo’s room at the hospital is kiss him and tell him that all the reasons why he’s the luckiest bastard in the world for having been able to meet him. ### October 2013 Kyungsoo has completely lost his sight and he doesn’t stare at Jongin with that probing, searching look anymore. Jongin lets his tears fall much more freely now because Kyungsoo can’t see them anymore but every time he does, Kyungsoo still reaches out and wipes his cheek, as though he knows without even seeing. Jongin reads to him, sings to him but he still prefers being the one laying his head on Kyungsoo’s lap and listening to him sing old love songs all afternoon. Kyungsoo still does so, during those lazy Saturday afternoons when Kyungsoo’s father has to leave for work or when things are especially hard. Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist as the older sings to him in the confines of the hospital room they both refer to now as home. Kyungsoo’s lost so much weight and Jongin, even more, and it’s a common thing now for Yixing and his other friends to find him rooted by Kyungsoo’s hospital bed. Jongin never lets go of Kyungsoo’s hand nowadays and barely sleeps, as he thinks that someone will steal Kyungsoo away when he takes his eyes away even for just a minute. ### December 2013 Jongin and Kyungsoo spend their first Christmas in the hospital with Kyungsoo’s and Jongin’s parents. Jongin sings and plays him a song with the guitar he’s been practicing all year with and Kyungsoo, his speech and hearing already impaired, is the one who requests this time for his favorite old love songs and Jongin complies, singing and playing songs even when his throat and fingers start to hurt. It’s along midnight when the parents are talking in the balcony and Kyungsoo’s head is leaning against Jongin’s shoulder that he whispers I love you over and over again until

his sickness finally claims his speech process, Jongin’s name the last audible word from his lips. ### Kyungsoo can’t see nor speak anymore and he looks so still, so very still, against the sterile, white bedsheets. Jongin overhears the hushed conversation between Kyungsoo’s father and his doctor, how it’s only a matter of hours now and how Kyungsoo can’t hear anything or feel anything anymore. He overhears Kyungsoo’s father weeping, struggling to muffle his sobs against his hands but failing when the pain becomes too great. Jongin ignores everything and continues whispering endless streams of I love you, you’re so perfect and tells Kyungsoo about all the wonderful things they’ll do together when Kyungsoo becomes Kyungsoo again and they can hold hands, watch cheesy movies and go for late night walks just like usual. Jongin doesn’t say goodbye, even when the monitor beeps and the erratic rhythm falls into a straight line, because it isn’t goodbye. Goodbye is when people go away and forget, when they don’t see each other anymore and the memories become all that’s left of them. It’s never goodbye between them, always simply I’m just a text away, see you later and I’ll be right here when you wake up for them. Always. Jongin continues to whisper because he knows Kyungsoo is there and Kyungsoo is listening. ### It’s five years later when Jongin comes back to Korea from Japan, after finishing college, that he sees Kyungsoo again. He’s brought the finest white tulips money can buy, already imagining his stern reproach of why waste money on flowers, I’ll be more than happy with just you visiting without a scowl on your face. He isn’t really sure if Kyungsoo would like it since he’s never asked him what his favorite flowers were but he remembers Kyungsoo singing about them once so he buys them anyway. Jongin brings the flowers to him, along with Kyungsoo’s favorite strawberry milk before lying on the soft grass beside him and looking up the sky. The sky in Seoul has always been bluer and clearer, Jongin thinks, as he recalls a day five years ago very much similar to this one. Not a cloud in the sky, no boisterous people staring at him and judging him and just a simple, easy kind of peace settling within the pits of his soul.

“I hope you’re okay up there. If anyone’s bullying you, I taught how to punch properly, right? You better make the other guy look worse or I’m coming up there and giving you a right hook. And don’t worry about me ‘coz I’m still keeping my promise,” Jongin whispers softly as he devours the blue expanse of the sky, knowing in his heart, for sure, that Kyungsoo is listening.