Inner.power.six.Techniques.for.Increased.energy.&.Self Healing

Colleen Deatsman (Michigan) is a certified alternative healing consultant, Reiki master, shamanic practitioner, hypnotherapist, and Licensed Professional Counselor. She holds a Master's degree in Rehabilitation Counseling and owns a private practice in counseling and alternative healing services.

COLLEEN DEATSMAN

Dedicated To

Paul Bowersox, Word Master and Syntax Wizard Heartfelt gratitude, love, and appreciation to Paul for your time, energy, resources, expertise, insights, bluntness, constructive criticism, tear-wiping, compassion, smiles, understanding, unconditional acceptance, support, love, and the solitude of the swamp. This book would not be what it is without you! Special Thanks To Pat, my rock of unwavering love and support. Lauren, my reason for persevering through the pain and searching for wholeness. My Beloved Family: Pat, Lauren, Laura, Erin, Mandy, Raindrop, Neelie, Mom and Dad Deatsman, Mom Kelley, Greg, Maureen, and Kolleen and their spouses and families for supporting my dreams, endeavors, and travels. Judy Berning, my dearly loved mentor turned colleague, compadre and spiritual cohort, the wise sage who rocked my world and helped me free myself from the box of conventional thinking and living. All the Spirit Teachers who empower us to live fully. The phenomenal advanced class and apprenticeship shamanic students, who have supported the birth of my books and my growth with their love and personal teachings: Jason, Durrette, Carlton, Michael, Fawn, Pat, Ann, Brenda, Jan, Marisa, Terri, Bill, Pat, Karen, Rose, Arlene, John, Peggy, Barb, Rochele, Betsy, Miriam, Jen, Tammy, Steve, Clint, Angie, Kim, Brenda, Tammy, Diana, Amy and Paula. The powerful healers and teachers who compassionately gave of themselves to ease my pain, enlighten me and facilitate my healing: Judy, Ellen, Jim, Renee, Alashar Laughing Eagle, Jean, Brian, Heather, David Short, Myron Eshowsky, Tom Cowan, Larry Peters, Sandra Ingerman, Michael Harner, Patrick Jasper Lee, Nan Moss and David Corbin, and fellow shamanic students. My wild-woman soul sister, Raven, whose crossed-over soul freely and joyfully flies to the aid of others. C. Leslie Charles, for her open and sincere help above and beyond the call of duty with proposal and publishing tips. My biking friends who are always asking how the book(s) are coming along, and who miss me when I travel.

Introduction ix Chapter One: All Healing Is Self-Healing 1 Chapter Two: De-tensifying and Reconnecting 17 Chapter Three: Manifesting the Life You Want! 37 Chapter Four: Powering Up with Energy 61 Chapter Five: Self-Hypnosis 85 Chapter Six: Cultivating Awareness 97 Chapter Seven: Journey to Wholeness 117 Chapter Eight: Healing Journeys 141 Chapter Nine: Self-Discovery with the Psyche Inventory 187 Chapter Ten: Cultivating Your Integrated Self 229 Chapter Eleven: Living Enlightenment 261 Chapter Twelve: Putting It All Together 273 Appendix I 293 Appendix II 299

This is the book that will help you make your miracles happen! If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, this book will change your life. Stress, fatigue, illness, depression, anxiety, and the feeling that you are lost are but a few of a host of maladies that we deal with on a daily basis. All of these are linked to one thing: loss of energy. Energy is the sustenance that feeds your body, mind, emotions, and soul, and is the key to reclaiming and maintaining vibrant health and well-being. Inner Power promises that as you immerse yourself in the exercises presented here, you will reconnect with your personal energy and the life-force energy that will empower you to be healthy, vital, and aware. Throughout this book I will be referring to healing, self-healing, illness, and ailments in a much broader sense than perhaps you have been familiar with in conventional medicine. I will be referring to them in terms of energy-the essence of life. It is the source that creates a balanced, whole, integrated self of body, mind, emotions, and soul. To be whole and healthy, our energy must be constantly flowing and moving. How to employ energy to your benefit will be explained in detail throughout this book. An ailment or an illness is the physical or emotional manifestation of an imbalance or loss of energy, thus signifying the disintegration of the integrated self. Ailment or illness symptoms can include such things as fatigue, pain, disease, confusion, anxiety, or depression. The process of restoring health, clarity, balance, harmony, and wholeness is the premise of this book. This is referred to as healing and self-healing. With these power tools you will learn how all healing is selfhealing and how all self-healing is self-actualization. The disintegrating self has the innate ability to heal itself when a person's internal balance and harmony are created. The six breakthrough techniques described in this book create this needed balance in various ways. First, the physical act of entering into most of the techniques is one of trance and total body relaxation. For that period of time, and the quiet period afterward, the body and mind are allowed to go into a state of peaceful rest and revitalization. Also, because the nature of these techniques is connecting directly to universal life-force energy, we experience energy vibrations of a higher frequency than our typically human, dense-vibrational rate. Using these integrated power tools, we channel the high-frequency vibrations through our physical body to release blockages, excite, energize, and change body systems at the atomic and molecular levels. The more a person connects with this energy source, the stronger their own energy becomes, until they are fully healthy and vibrating at a higher rate. Life is stressful and stress burns away our precious life-force energy, causing energy depletion ailments. The daily adversity of living with an energy-loss ailment can have a healthy ending if you actualize your choice to heal and change your life through the dedicated application of the time-tested techniques in this book. I know, because by walking this path, I have experienced (along with many others) phenomenal recovery from illnesses that science tells us have no cure. These experiences

illustrate the innate power of the body to heal when the energy of the soul is actualized. As you embrace your path of healing by reading this book, you will find that the first two chapters explain more about these concepts of energy loss, illness, regaining energy, balance, and health. You will also be given the opportunity to make your commitment to heal yourself and instructed in how to begin your own healing program. Chapter 3 begins the detailed descriptions of the six breakthrough techniques that will gently lead you toward mind/body/spirit balance and will continue to enhance that balance with regular use. The first technique, visualization, uses the focus of your attention and imagination to create visual images in the mind for your own benefit. Since the mind reacts physiologically to imagined events the same way it does to real events, you can create health by visualizing health, just as you can manifest anything else you desire in this way. To heal from illness, I created a vision of myself entering a peaceful place in nature on a warm sunny day. In a safe and protected area, I would lie down, rest, and ask the healing energy of the sun to penetrate my frozen, sick body. I visualized the energy melting into my center and felt the warm glowing sunshine moving throughout my body-healing, energizing, and nurturing every aching muscle, every stressed cell. By practicing visualization on a regular basis, my body became stronger, less fatigued, and far less painful. I also began to get in touch with the old me, which used to be strong, healthy, and energetic. Building on this success, I created many visualization exercises that bring energy into the body for cleansing and power-filling. Chapter 4 will power you up and help you feel vibrant! The third technique, self-hypnosis, described in chapter 5, takes this technique one step deeper using the power of suggestion. Hypnosis entails being guided into a relaxed, alpha brain-wave state of consciousness through muscle relaxation and visualization. I found adapting the technique of hypnosis for self-healing to be simple and achieved success by self-recording tapes. The tapes were expanded versions of visualizations with a series of body and mind relaxations and suggestions for healing, such as boosting my immune system or clearing my energy field. The fourth technique of meditation, described in chapter 6, is a skill that can be difficult at first, but with practice and focus, becomes a powerful healing method. The common theme in all meditative practices is mental concentration and focus. Through focus, the mind is freed of mental dispersion, thus creating the state of mindfulness or bare awareness. In this state of bare awareness, we can easily connect with our inner soul-self, our personal energy, and the divine energy of the universe. Journeying, the fifth technique described in chapter 7, is the most profound healing technique I have experienced and witnessed. Each journey is personal, deep, and energyconnecting on all levels. A strong, healthy, energetic body is but one of the many benefits people reap. Listening to steady drumming, rattling, or music, the journeyer's body relaxes and his or her mind shifts into the deeply

relaxed theta state of altered consciousness. In this trance state, the journeyer travels inward to the world of the soul-self and Spirit Guides, to a reality that is tangible and accessible, just outside of our daily perceptions. Ecstatic energy and inner truth can be experienced in this special state that creates balance on all levels. The sixth technique, the psychological and emotional self-evaluation process of the psyche inventory, described in chapter 9, was born from a combination of deep inner searching and professional psychological training. I knew that something very deep feeds illness, so I embarked on a quest for healing deep within my psyche and emotions in addition to practicing the powerful selfhealing techniques described here. As a therapist and spiritual agnostic, I had an experiential and innate understanding that the messages being sent as symptoms through my body were to engage the attention of my consciousness. Working on that premise, it became my goal to try to understand what these symptomatic messages meant. Through this process of honestly exploring the inner workings of my emotions, thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, societal programming, and the past events that had shaped my development, I opened a doorway into my soul. I freed up valuable personal energy by clearing away energetic blockages formed from mental and emotional baggage that I had previously been unaware that I held onto, and I gained an intimate understanding of myself that I had never known. Like an onion, layers of hope and pretense, social facade and self-deception, were peeled away with the psyche inventory process until nothing was left of me but a raw, essential soul. And what a powerful thing the soul is! Once the false identities and illusions that hold us in bondage have been stripped away, it becomes much easier to connect with our soulself, the universal life-force energy, and to follow a path toward self-actualization, wholeness, and health. Thankfully, there is a silver lining within every form of adversity. If dealing with any kind of energy-sapping malady is your adversity, or you want to increase your level of health and awareness, then discovering your innate ability to power-up with energy is your silver lining, just as it was mine. In harnessing my latent inner power to connect with energy, I was able to heal myself with the techniques that you will learn in this book. By powering-up, often I have actualized a positive outcome from a horrendous illness. Because of this, most mornings now begin like today. I lace up my running shoes and bounce out the door, passing by the bank thermometer in my small town before moving on to the wooded country roads. With another deep breath of cold, crisp air, my lungs confirm the eighteen-degree reading. Just outside of town, the dried weeds of the frosty fields appear magically enchanted by faeries as millions of dia mond-like sparkling ice crystals glisten in the breaking sunshine. A quarter-mile further, the soft, orange glow of sunrise warms the snow-laden trees of the swampy forest. Today is an ordinary weekday morning. Soon, the day will become busy with clients in my healing and therapy practice and the evening with teaching classes, so I slip out alone at first light for a quiet four-mile run. Thoughts of the past and the wonder of a beautiful, new day engage my mind as my sleepy muscles warm to the exertion. Even though it is an ordinary day, it

is a special day. It is a special day because I am healthy, alive, and vital. I consider the significance of this and open myself to the wonder of that simple thought wrapped in the miracle of this new day. Gliding along the road, lost in contemplation, I realize it is because of where I have been that I am so aware and thankful for each day, this quiet time, and my healthy body. It hadn't always been that I could enjoy a cold, crisp morning that way. For nearly ten years I fought the unidentifiable degenerative monster of chronic fatigue immune deficiency syndrome (CFIDS), an illness characterized by chronic, debilitating symptoms, including sore throat, swollen lymph glands, sleeplessness, extreme fatigue, low-grade fever, below-normal body temperature that causes a frozento-the-core feeling, headaches, heart problems, mental confusion, muscle weakness and pain, neurological disorders, and depression, just to name a few. It is an illness that moves throughout the body, shapeshifting in appearance and symptoms, defying diagnosis and treatment as it ambushes every system and organ it encounters. CFIDS destroys life as it renders its victims' weakened immune system susceptible to every cold and flu virus, bacteria, and allergen that floats by. Every symptom with this illness is chronic, painful, and excruciatingly debilitating. When combined, they created the crippling loss of my life as I had known it. I could no longer do the things I wanted and needed to do. My active life diminished to mere survival, and many days I was unable to get out of bed or functionall so unlike me. Before the illness, I had been full of energy and enthusiasm for life. I ran marathons, I bicycled "centuries" (100mile rides) and competed in 5K running races, often winning awards in my age group. I drove myself to be a superathlete, an involved and loving mom, the perfect wife, and an exemplary employee, until this monster slowly sucked away my active life. As the symptoms lingered and worsened with each passing year, my spirit and passion for life evaporated. I lost my power, my energy to live, and I lost my self. The numerous and mysterious chronic symptoms continued to worsen and deteriorate my body and life for years. After countless visits to the doctor, I was finally diagnosed with Epstein-Barr virus (one of the purported causes of CFIDS and fibromyalgia) and I was advised to go home and rest, since there was no known medical treatment. I went nuts inside! Was he crazy? I was a wife, mother of three, psychotherapist with a full-time career, and an athlete. I couldn't just go home and rest. I refused to live my life a victim of this illness, so the fighter in me woke up, and I became motivated to start looking for healing alternatives. I tried everything in an attempt to heal. I tried every herb and supplement that claimed to boost the immune system. I received massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, energy bodywork, and many other treatments. All of these were helpful for keeping me functioning, but they did not cure this beastly illness. Something was missing, something deeper. Years went by and the chronic symptoms worsened still further, leading to depression and an intolerance of my pain and sickness that drove me to the brink of suicide on several desperate occasions. And then one day, with gun in hand, sitting on the edge of my bed, I looked up at my darling daughter's kindergarten silhouette and I finally understood. The bright spirit of that little girl

shining through the picture somehow made it click that in all of my roles and responsibilities, in all of my "doing" and "busyness," I had lost my personal energy, my spirit, my soul-self. The truth was clear-I had become energy-depleted, powerless, and disspirited. I had lost my soul to the rules and roles of daily life. I had attempted to take care of everyone else around me and in the process neglected myself. I didn't make time to nurture myself and the accumulation of stress drained my precious life-force energy. This energy drain allowed an illness to enter my body that was slowly, painfully killing me. In shock, I lowered the gun and cried with grief and gratitude. When all was lost and there was nothing else to do, my real work began. I became serious about my search to find my energy and health. I decided to make my health an important priority and I poured what precious little energy I had into searching for healing. Since the medical community had no answers, I revisited the alternative healing community and tried multitudes of methods, reading any healing book I could find, and exploring every alternative healing technique available in the midMichigan area. I literally searched high and low for any "witch doctor" that could make me whole. Again, I had wonderful experiences with the therapists that I worked with, but once more, no cure. I would feel better for a while after the sessions, and then would regress. Something important was missing, but what could it be? Gradually the answers came rolling in as I picked up insights from the healing sessions and books. I looked carefully at how I felt after each session, what was done at the sessions that made me feel the best for the longest time, and what those techniques had in common. I began to see a pattern that entailed energy movement of one kind or another. Energy cleansing and energy filling were the essential ingredients. While the energy was fresh or for as long as I remained energy filled and energetically clean, I felt good. As I paid close attention to my body responses, I discovered that the key to healing is energy movement. I asked myself, since I keep running out of energy and it is expensive and impractical to continually go to a therapist to refill, how can I prevent the energy from being depleted, and can I learn to replenish that energy myself? It was then that my search for healing changed focus from external (getting it done for me) to internal (doing it for myself). This brought me t o be trained in the power-filling, soul-self connecting techniques that generate energy and selfhealing described in this book. One by one, techniques were added, subtracted, and combined as I attended trainings, worked with therapists and spiritual teachers, and experimented with my daily practices until I found the blend that consistently yielded healing results. The six powerful self-healing techniques described here drastically changed my life and my health by replenishing my ravaged energy and carrying me deep within to reconnect with my soul-self. Gradually, my daily practice turned into full recovery from the monster illness that had invaded my body. Soon I recognized that the healing "witch doctor" I had unsuccessfully searched for years to find was-and is-me. We all have this innate ability to connect with energy and heal. All we have to do to reconnect with it is to turn our attention inward. As I

continued to experience profound healing, I taught these techniques to my clients, paid close attention t o their practices and results, and we continued to refine our practices together. By request, this gradually grew into teaching classes and workshops. In doing so, I am continually blessed with being able to witness incredible energy-building, physical healing, self-actualization, and enlightenment in others. This book can provide a torch of hope in the dark night of your ailment. It will light your path as you search for your soul-self, make that connection, and ultimately succeed in becoming whole. The secret of healing is that we can personally activate energy flow that creates internal harmony and balance. Within the chapters of this book, you will find the techniques that will teach you and empower you to become the expert of your self-healing. If you truly desire to energize or heal yourself, then allow these techniques to take you to a new level of living. Regain your life now; come with me on this adventure of self-discovery and learn how easy it is to heal yourself. Open and reconnect with the energy of the life force that flows through and around you. Let it flow freely through your emotions, mind, body, and soul. Healing will happen.

-C.M.C. quoted by R. M. Bucke Most people think of self-healing as healing that comes only from self-administered techniques. Although this is true, it is only part of the picture. In any healing situation, even in the case of medication, therapy, or treatment received from a practitioner, your body heals itself in response to the circumstances that create internal harmony and balance. Treatment modalities, such as acupuncture, chiropractic, ayurvedic, and massage, are based on this knowledge. Even allopathic medicine relies on the body's natural ability to heal itself once medications or procedures have been administered. With this in mind, all healing can be regarded as self-healing. This may sound unusual or seem difficult to understand, but there is nothing more natural. Science and modern medicine have demonstrated through meticulous research that our bodies have been naturally equipped with the tools needed to prevent and fight most diseases. We have powerful, intricate systems whose purpose is to repair damage, generate new cells, and fight off foreign invaders. In an environment where our body is able to operate in harmony and balance, these systems function properly and perfect health abounds. Vital cells proliferate; bacteria, viruses, and our own mutated cells (that could become cancerous) are recognized and destroyed before they can multiply; cell injury is mended; and we are filled with dynamic life energy. And then life enters the picture. We are bombarded with constant stress, busyness, and a lack of self-care commitment and know-how. In our valiant effort to "keep on keeping on," we push too hard,

losing balance and harmony. As we continue to overload ourselves over time, we begin to lose selfconnection and our world then "runs" us. We no longer make time to nurture our body, mind, emotions, and soul. Through this disconnection, neglect, mistreatment, and overuse, our defenses become altered and sometimes rendered totally ineffective, causing illness or disease. Our natural systems become less efficient and are no longer able to repair, regenerate, or defend, and this system failure creates further imbalance and an increase in symptoms. Drawn into the external tug and pull, we forget to nurture and listen to our body. We disconnect from the energy of our inner spirit, causing serious spiritual illness. Through my studies and experiences in self-healing, I have come to know that when our soul inhabits a physical body in this world, it brings with it certain universal and self-truths. Our souls bring learning, wisdom, insights, purpose, missions, destiny, and dreams. We may remember these as children, but often forget our soul's agenda as we get caught up in our lives. The pressures of societal conditioning, academic learning, fitting into society, making a living, raising children, etc., capture our attention and we focus on the external aspects of making our lives happen. When we become separated from this most important part of our own nature, we inadvertently lose connection with our soul's essence, goals, passions, and personal energy. It creeps in quietly, slowly, and so subtly that we don't realize it until it has happened. The assumed and unwritten expectations and responsibilities of existing inside of our societal box rob us of our life force. This detached imbalance is an energetic causal factor that creates a spiritual illness that can quickly lead to physical illness. Not only are we made up of energy, but our physical world is also comprised of an essence, a force commonly referred to as "universal energy." Without knowing how to reconnect to our soul-self to replenish our depleted energy, we unconsciously make matters worse by erecting impermeable shields around our self for survival. This shielding is an unconscious attempt to block the incoming "attacks" and stresses from the outside world. Unfortunately, nurturing universal energy is also inadvertently cut off. Not only have we disconnected from our self, we have also disconnected from the universal life-force energy that replenishes us. It is not wrong that we use this coping mechanism; in fact, it is quite natural and necessary. These powerful, innate survival instincts allow us to endure the most difficult of circumstances. The shortcoming with this coping mechanism is that most of us are not aware that we are closing our self off to the natural flow, the give-and-take, between the energies of the world and ourselves. As the energy imbalance perpetuates, we begin to experience symptoms such as fatigue, pain, depression, or illness. In order to stop this downward cycle and promote recovery, it is important to reestablish an internal environment of harmony and balance that enables your body to function according to its natural design. Because vital health is the outward expression of healing that is generated naturally, internally, and unconsciously, your mission is to re-create and maintain a harmonious internal environment for yourself. Your body will do the rest. In this way, you can purposefully and

consciously facilitate your body's return to its natural ability to self-heal. Unbeknown to the busy "doing" part of your mind, you have a hidden reservoir of peace that lies deep within you, in your soul-self, that when tapped and utilized brings you into balance and harmony. The techniques described throughout this book are designed to help you do just that. By applying these powerful healing techniques yourself, you create harmony and balance every day in your own time and space. However, because we know that "all healing is self-healing," these techniques are not exclusive and, therefore, should be used in addition to medical treatment or complimentary therapies that you find helpful. Creating Balance and Harmony The first step toward creating harmony and balance, and ultimately health, is to connect with the natural healing abilities of your personal energy. Your personal energy, also known as your aura, is the life-force energy that moves through and around you. The core of this life-force essence within you is your soul-self. Your soul-self is your authentic essence. It is the Spirit that came into your body when you were born, and it will live on after your physical body dies. It is the energy source that makes up your energy field and your true being. It is your connection point to universal energy, to the divine, to God, Goddess, and Spirit. It is the God-like, Goddess-like, Christ-like, Buddha-like divine part of you. Being in touch with this part gives you a sense of solidness in your center; it is the source of your creative and infinite power to design your world. It is your gut feelings, your senses, your intuition, your inner knowing, and your wisdom. It lies underneath your daily doings and the chatter of your mind. It is free from emotion and attachment to worldly aspirations. Your soul-self, without the chains of the world, feels wild and free like when you were a child. And although it is childlike, it is not childish. It is excitement and passion. It is primal and authentic. It is dynamic and empowering. When you are aware of, and connected with, this powerhouse within you, you are creating harmony and balance and, therefore, self-healing. To reawaken this powerful aspect of yourself, you must open to your deepest, most inner core. You must take the time to sit still, to just be, and to quiet down your mind and the "doings" that distract you from knowing your authentic self. The techniques described in this book will help you create a direct connection, relationship, and dialogue with your inner soul-self through relaxation, mind focus, awareness, quiet contemplation, and inner stillness. As you practice these techniques and begin to connect with your soul-self, you will become aware that you are an energy being, a spirit, in a human body. Because you are made up of energy, your personal energy forms a natural link to the universal life-force energy that exists everywhere and in everything. People worldwide give this energy a divine designation of many different names: God, Goddess, Universal Power, Higher Power, Universal Source, the Great Web of Life, the Great Spirit, the Great Mystery, Allah, Prana, etc. Multitudes of people have argued and fought over the names for

centuries, but beyond the philosophies and dogmas is an energy that, no matter the name, is a life force that lives inside each of us. It is the Spirit that moves in all things and gives all things life. Whether you believe in the divine or not, whether you follow a specific religion or not, this universal life-force energy affects you both internally and externally. It is oneness with your "godliness" and the web of life that your soul-self yearns to be connected with at all times. In your natural state, you are not separate from this great energy. It is only in disconnection that a separation exists; when you are separate from this energy, you are out of harmony and balance. When you connect to it, you are no longer separate from the oneness of the Great Web of Life. Harmony, balance, and health are the end result. Many people are familiar with the term "Spirit Guides," energy beings that guide and teach us and are ambassadors of the Great Web of Life linking us to its powerful energies. People who connect with the universal life force through the divine link of helping Spirit Guides find it to be an intimate and personal experience. Connecting with Spirit Guides and the universal life force can be facilitated using the same methods we use to connect with our soul-self, and often this occurs simultaneously. The techniques of visualization, self-hypnosis, energy healing, meditation, and journeying taught in this book are conduits to facilitating this connection. The process of soul-self connection is threefold: making the initial connection, staying connected, and then reconnecting whenever disconnection occurs. Once you have established your connections with your soul-self, Spirit Guides, and the universal life force with the techniques described in this book, it is important to maintain that connection by establishing a habit of practicing these techniques throughout the day. By being full of energy and maintaining consistent energy flow, you can prevent depletion from the daily energy drains of busyness and stress, thereby warding off fatigue and illness. I recommend instituting at least one fifteen-to-twenty-minute segment and several mini-segments of two or three minutes per day to keep your energy flowing. Train yourself to check in periodically throughout the day to assess your connection and energy flow by creating habits in your routine that become conditioned reminders. Specific suggestions are detailed later in this chapter. Equally as important as your initial connection and staying connected is your ability to reconnect when you become disconnected. Inevitably, no matter how diligent you are at remembering to stay connected, you will become disconnected from time to time. Illness, pain, and discontentment are often the signals that inform us of disconnection, and they should be viewed as messages to this effect. Many of us initially lost connection with our soul-self through societal expectation, busyness, and lack of awareness. We were taught to achieve, "do," and produce, rather than nurture our self and our souls. We weren't taught about the importance of maintaining a healthy connection with our soul-self, so this is new to us. Even if we have practiced connecting for several years, we have had many more years of experience not connecting. We unconsciously fall out of connection, harmony, and balance from time to time. Sometimes even with our best conscious attempts to remain connected, life's events rock our

world, causing us to disconnect. Whatever the cause, you don't have to start all over again from square one; you just have to start again. Connect again using the techniques that worked for you before and keep connecting. To reconnect throughout the day does not require any extra time or elaborate practice, only simple intention and attention. Set an intention to take care of yourself and make your health your priority. Pay attention to your body, mind, emotions, and soul. It is not always easy to notice when you become disconnected, so keep checking in with yourself to see how you are doing. Be mindful, noticing how you feel physically, then emotionally, then mentally, then spiritually. Is there any tension, tightness, stress, fatigue, or pain anywhere? How are you holding your body and carrying yourself? Are you angry, sad, depressed, anxious, uptight, frustrated, or confused? Are you experiencing a racing mind, circular thoughts, headache, or mental fatigue? Are you feeling empty inside, disconnected, or lost? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, take in a deep breath, relax your muscles, quiet yourself, listen to your internal messages, and reconnect as soon as possible. Sometimes disconnection is obvious. One typical signal of soul-self disconnect is a return or worsening of the symptoms that demanded your attention in the first place. Also, do not be surprised by the appearance of new symptoms heralding the message of disconnection and further imbalance in the form of mental, emotional, spiritual, and/or physical discomfort. No matter how the signal appears, as soon as you become aware of a negative change, begin reconnecting to the wisdom of your soul-self and the universal life force using the self-healing techniques described in the following chapters. For example, you are driving to an appointment and notice that your back hurts. Typically in the past you might have ignored it or taken an analgesic. Now you are choosing to take a different approach. Take in a deep breath, quiet your thoughts, and listen to the message of the pain. What is it trying to tell you? Be patient and quiet, listen, and feel, using all of your senses. At the same time, mindfully run energy through yourself using one of the energy movement visualizations such as the Rainbow Fountain exercise that you will learn in chapter 4 (see page 73). Pay particular attention to moving the energy through the painful area to be sure you remove the blockage and fill with healing energy. Remember to breathe deeply into your stomach, sit up straight, and open your chest to let the air and the energy flow. If you are in a situation where you are unable to bring yourself back into connection and balance right away, do so as soon as possible. Excessive stress will compromise your immune system, impair healing, or cause a relapse. Another cause of disconnection is energy loss. Your personal energy is spent and dispersed in enormous amounts throughout the day. The self-healing techniques you will learn reconnect you with energy, yours and universal, replenishing your depleted energy. Maintaining an energy connection also helps you to remain aware of what is happening in your body, mind, emotions, and soul. With greater awareness, you will more easily sense when you feel out of sync or when something out of the ordinary is pulling on your energy. By becoming aware of this imbalance more quickly, you can then

identify the source, situations, places, people, and your internal triggers and reactions that deplete your energy sooner. In so doing you can take appropriate steps to vanquish this drain from your life or protect yourself by drawing in more universal and personal energy to fortify yourself, preventing destructive depletion. Chapter 4 explains this in greater detail and provides you with energy cleansing, healing, and protecting exercises to facilitate your connection. Awakening As you practice self-healing, you will begin to notice subtle inner shifts. In addition to renewed health, a direct result of connecting and staying connected is a quiet awakening of your inner wisdom and an emergence of your personal energy. Some view this as being on the path toward enlightenment. Through this personal growth, you become more awake and alert, more aware and alive. Through connecting, the sleepwalking state in which most people unconsciously dwell is transformed into vibrant awareness. Continual connecting provides you with guidance, life-enhancing tools, and lessons that create harmony and balance when applied. When connected, you will feel relaxed and find it easy to become still inside throughout the day, even when not practicing a self-healing technique. In that stillness you will notice the vibrant movement of life and, soon, your own life force, too. In this state of being, stress loses its power and health reigns. Connectedness, balance, and health is your natural state of being. If you are suffering physically, then you are out of connection and balance, and this discomfort is your wakeup call. Pain and illness bring about an opportunity for an initiation, an opening to the universal energy that is healing. If you are hurting so badly that you are feeling like you are going to die or want to die, congratulations! No, this isn't sick and twisted. I have been there myself, and I have observed this many times with multitudes of clients and students. This suffering has brought you to the door of enlightenment. This is your initiation into something lighter and brighter than you have ever known. If you choose to walk through this doorway, you will never be the same again. I can't promise you that your life will be easy and that you will live happily ever after, although we all want to believe in those fairy tales. What I can tell you is that you will become stronger than you ever knew you could be. You will fight dragons and slay demons with great bravery. You will find the prince or princess of your dreams inside of yourself and find the paradise you crave where you least expect it, within you. Do you want to live happily ever after? Then create it. Do you want a knight in shining armor to sweep in on his trusty steed and save you? Then be it. Do you want to take down that dragon? You hold the enchanted sword to do just that in your soulself. The power is in you! Your rewards will be deep inner calm, awareness, personal power, and health. Okay, you say, "I want happily ever after and I am willing to make that happen, but why the need for an initiation, and why me?" In my experience, change comes from adversity. If you thought you were fine, or going to be fine, you wouldn't change. Why would you? Everything is fine. However,

because of this illness, everything is not fine. It is excruciating and unbearable. This illness, through its continual agony and breakdown of your defenses and resilience, is taking you to the door of enlightenment, albeit kicking and screaming, most likely. It is a door to be opened and it is one that only you can open. His Holiness the Dalai Lama teaches us what shamans, mystics, and sages have known since the dawn of humanity: "All suffering is for the purpose of enlightenment." If you look at this illness as coming into your life for the purpose of your enlightenment, personal growth, and illumination, that changes it from a demon to a friend-a best friend telling you the hard truth that it is time for you to take the self-healing steps of your personal growth, to connect, to become aware, to become wise, and to become the creator of harmony and balance in your life. Commitment Self-healing begins with a simple but powerful commitment: the commitment to make your health your priority. Any healing that you experience happens because the right circumstances for balance and harmony within your body have been created, allowing you to heal yourself. You have the ability to set up these circumstances, and, ultimately, you must resolve to make the difference in your life. There is no easy fix and no pill that makes this happen. The only magic bullet for healing is you. It is your resolve, your dedication, and your tenacity. You are worth it, so go ahead, make your commitment. Pledge that from now on you will listen to yourself, love yourself, nurture yourself, treat yourself well, try everything that feels like it might work for you, and give it a long, hard, valid attempt. Commit to embarking on a journey inside of yourself to learn, to grow, to understand who you are and why you operate the way you do, to overcome sickness, pain, and darkness, to access your body's innate power to heal itself, to strive toward wholeness, harmony, and balance, no matter where this journey might take you. Your commitment is the key, because without it nothing changes. You can read books, you can dabble in healing techniques, you can attend workshops, you can receive healings from therapists, but until you decide that you are important and your health is your priority, the effects of your dabbling will remain impotent and full recovery will evade you. Make your commitment now, because the selfhealing techniques detailed in this book are powerful life-changing healers, and they are here for your use. Sit back, take in a deep breath, and relax. Quiet your mind ... and relax your body. Allow your muscles to become loose and relaxed, limp and heavy. Relax your shoulders, your neck, and your face. Feel the tension and stress float away like soft puffs of smoke. Allow any thoughts to drift away on cottony summer clouds and your mind to empty into the clear, blue sky. In this quiet, clear state of mind, commit to yourself that you will follow this program of self-healing to the best of your ability. Pledge that you are making your health a priority and that you commit to making yourself whole. Take in another deep breath and relax. Congratulations, you have taken the most important step. You have

decided to make yourself important and to commit to healing yourself. Now that you have made the commitment to help and heal yourself, the next step is to do it!There is no getting around it, only you can make your healing happen! I can't stress this enough. The magic genie is you! The magic pill is you! The healing witch doctor is you, and only you! This is huge and personally empowering. Inside you is housed the power to change your world. You create your healing, and you have the power to determine your course. You are the captain of your ship. You, and only you, are the recipient of all of the effort that you put in to your healing. It's like turning lead into gold. This personal alchemy is the wonder of self-healing. You reap what you sow! Whatever you put in, you receive back at least fourfold because your body, mind, emotions, and soul want to be healthy and in balance. So do yourself a favor and put in all that you can. You'll be amazed at what happens. It will help if you view this practice as a "have to." You have to eat, have to sleep, have to go to the bathroom, and have to deal with everyday life. You have to practice these self-healing techniques in order for them to work. Plain and simple, you will enjoy the benefits if you do the work. If you don't do the work, nothing good can happen. It's just like the many pieces of exercise equipment that are bought each year with good intentions and end up sold in garage sales or put out in the trash. What seemed like a great idea on New Year's Eve didn't pan out because people didn't do the work. The machine would work and benefit would have been realized if the people had applied themselves. The approach to this program is similar in concept, only easier. This is not an exercise program. These simple techniques are relaxing, enjoyable, and easy to integrate into everyday life and the benefits are noticed almost immediately by nearly everyone. Your body, emotions, mind, and spirit need regular nourishment, so refill with energy and start feeling good for a change! Malting It Happen * Set aside at least fifteen-to-twenty minutes in one sitting per day, every day, to practice the selfhealing technique of your choice. The benefits of committing to and maintaining a regular practice are multifold, and the importance cannot be overstated. A regular preset time helps you to keep your commitment to yourself by providing consistency and a routine. Make an appointment with yourself to do the program. This goes a long way in helping you to make it happen! It may seem easy to commit to just a few minutes a day, but you may find it a little more difficult to put into practice. This is when the stability of a regular practice helps your will to override distractions or complacency. After a few days of regular practice, you will find that the mere act of going into the space where you practice triggers the relaxation process. The psyche becomes conditioned and knows what to expect when you enter into your practice room and will automatically begin to respond. You will find that this makes it easier for you to go deeper with each practice session. The cumulative effect of your practice keeps the momentum going, and each practice session builds on the previous ones, rather than starting over each time. Like the

well-honed body of a conditioned athlete, your mind, emotions, body, and soul become well-defined muscles sculpted through daily practice and stretching. *Integrate a variety of self-healing techniques into your everyday life in small, powerful increments throughout your day. Healing is a continual process and a way of life, not just a one-time-a-day practice. No matter how busy you may be or how rigid your schedule, you can easily practice self-healing using the energyhealing techniques taught in chapter 4. The beauty of these techniques is that they do not require a set time and can be practiced anytime simply by focusing your mind while doing mundane activities like folding clothes, repetitive exercise such as walking, or during naturally occurring breaks like sitting at a traffic light or waiting for an appointment. The key is to shift your mind away from your normal mental chatter and into the energy-flowing exercise. It is also important to give yourself three-to-five-minute stress breaks several times throughout your day to quiet your mind, relax your muscles, and replenish your energy. I recommend doing the Stress Break exercise, Progressive Muscle and Mind Relaxation, or any of the techniques described in the following chapters during your breaks. You may also choose to break up your fifteen-to-twentyminute preset practice into smaller increments that you integrate throughout your day if you are feeling overwhelmed or think that you don't have enough time. Although this is a possible option, I still highly recommend that you try your best to institute a regular, longer length practice to realize the full effects of relaxation and energy flow. *Practice mindfulness. It takes no extra time out of your busy day to notice what you are thinking and feeling, to notice how your body feels, to feel the presence of Spirit and the universal life force, to observe the beauty of nature and the world around you, and to run energy through your body. What it does require is internal quietness, bare awareness, mind focus, and the discipline to make it happen. Again, you need only stop the chatter of your mind to be able to listen and feel, to focus, and become aware. It is not difficult to do these things, but you must remember to do them. * Do whatever it takes to follow through with your commitment to yourself. Share your practices and experiences with friends and family, and open your mind to new ideas. Experiment, have fun, and be willing to try things that seem a little hokey at first. You never know what might work best until you have given it a fair shake. Because you are unique, some methods may be more beneficial than others, but be sure to allow yourself ample time and space to fully explore what works best for you.

Train yourself to check in periodically throughout the day, to check your connection and energy flow. It is easy to remember to do this by creating habits in your routine that become conditioned reminders. Check in with yourself and connect with energy every time you get in the car, walk into a particular room, or perform a certain mundane daily task. Post notes around your frequented environments as a helpful reminder. As you do this on a regular basis, you become accustomed to adding this mindful exercise into your day, and as you begin to feel the benefits, the process maintains its own momentum without much thought. *Avoid and override distractions. No matter how firm your commitment and dedication, your practice will be challenged from time to time. Life doesn't stop just because you went into your preset self-healing practice. Of course, it helps to designate a time when there will be the least amount of possible distractions, but even then, life happens. When this occurs, relax, take in a deep breath, and allow yourself to choose the best course of action. Remember your promise, and pledge to yourself to make your health one of your priorities. Oftentimes, the things or people that distract us can wait a few minutes, and you need to be firm in your conviction to take care of yourself. However, if it demands immediate attention and you are unable to practice at your designated time that day, try to do it later in the day, break it up into smaller increments and infuse them throughout the day, or simply resume your practice the next day. Do not become guilt-ridden and obsessive about your practice. There is a big difference between commitment and rigidity. The purpose of your practice is to become relaxed, calm, still, aware, and connected with energy. Obsessing will only pull you further away from your intentions, so relax and flow with life, nurturing yourself along the way. * Follow this consistent healing practice every day for at least six months. A consistent self-healing practice, with its integration of awareness and its use of energyconnecting techniques, when used throughout the day, every day, changes lives. I have seen it time and time again. Those who work the program, heal. Those who let it slide, don't heal, period, plain and simple, end of story. If you nurture yourself and practice the selfhealing techniques daily for at least six months, you will experience change. * What you give energy to, you give life to. By paying attention to yourself, you give yourself energy and, by doing this, you give yourself life. In my studies, teachings, seeking, and finding, I have come to understand that Spirit speaks to us at all times, throughout the day and night, sometimes loudly, sometimes subtly. In these synchronicities, that some people dismiss as coincidences, are valuable messages and teachings from the universe. Often these occurrences come at just the right time for perfect learning. A story recently e-mailed to me by my friend Robert is one such example that eloquently illustrates my point:

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered, "The one I feed." Which wolf will you choose to feed, the wolf of imbalance and illness, or the wolf of balance and health? If you feed the illness by maintaining the imbalance or behaviors that exacerbate your condition, the wolf of illness will win over the wolf of health. This will happen even if this is not a conscious act on your part. Consider: which wolf do you unknowingly feed when you are not paying attention? * Your perceptions and your attitude matter! View your commitment as a journey and an adventure into your own personal health that will benefit you for the rest of your life. This is not a horrible regimen. It is not a diet that deprives you or a grueling exercise program that strains you. This is self food. It is time set aside to relax and feed your body, emotions, mind, and soul with energy and inner peace. It will feel good to you and be something that you look forward to. If you become bored with it, change it up. You are in charge of your program. Try a different self-healing technique, a different version of the one you are using, or add your own flair. Make this practice your own. Make it fun and have it be your special time to make yourself the priority. *Embrace this process with tenacity and courage, because this journey is absolutely necessary-this is your life! You have the power within to take command of your health and your destiny. Suit up the armor and strap on the sword. The battle for your life must begin now. Journaling Self-expression frees the soul! Now that you have made the decision and the commitment to yourself to embark on your journey to wholeness, the next step is to purchase or create a journal. This is an important step and one that should not be skipped, as journaling is a great tool for self-awareness and connection. Find or make a journal that reflects your personality with pictures or designs of things that you enjoy. You will be using your journal to explore yourself, so make this a fun tool. Perhaps for the first time in your life, you are giving yourself permission to take the time to explore yourself. By taking a short amount of time each day to sit down and freely express yourself, you begin to reveal the deep inner you that has been hidden under all the "doing" and all the roles you have to fill. Enjoy the special time that you get

to spend with yourself, and allow this to be a time for self-nurturing. I encourage you to begin by writing down the events of your day and your feelings about these using automatic writing. Write freely, and do not be concerned with grammar or punctuation. I want to emphasize again that this is not a trivial exercise. By initiating the habit of journaling, you lay the foundation for much more serious work that you will be doing later. Through the process of journaling, you begin the process of reacquaintance and communication with an old friend-you.

The shift in doing creates the shift in being.

-Etty Hillesum We live in a tense, busy world of doing, achieving, producing, and goal-attaining, where stress causes tension overload and soul-self disconnection. You can notice the effects of this constant stress and disconnection in symptoms such as muscle tightness, pain, fatigue, or anxiety, yet most of the messages sent are effectively blocked before they are consciously recognized. We have become experts at ignoring or covering up these subtle messages. Left unrecognized and unrectified, these messages intensify in your subconscious mind as tension builds in your body, causing energy blockages that are the prelude to illness. This devastating cycle can be circumvented with the techniques of "de-tensifying" and reconnecting. De-tensifying is a combination of techniques used to consciously address and release tension throughout the day, thus preventing the overload that causes imbalance. Reconnecting consists of techniques that draw in and maintain energy flow, activate your natural healing abilities, and stimulate awareness of your internal messages. This chapter is filled with step-by-step exercises that will guide you through these healing techniques. De-tensifying Stress Reduction All illnesses should be assumed to be stress-related until proven otherwise. Even ifstress is not the primary cause of illness, it is frequently an aggravating factor. -Dr. Andrew Weil A discussion about healing in our modern times must include dealing with the issue of stress. It is important to recognize that stress, and the way we handle stress, has a major influence on our

behaviors and our health. We know that stress is a constant in our lives and its effects grow and compound when not released. Normal tension is the natural prelude to action; this tension motivates us to take action, which is a positive thing that we need in our lives. It was the survival mechanism that once saved us and that is now killing us, because we don't know how to stop the process. The problem forms when we are unable to take action based on personal power loss, societal norms, personal beliefs, etc., and we are left with built-up adrenaline and tension. Pent-up stress multiplies as unresolved tension. This unresolved tension is the enemy. Chronic, underlying tension and tightness then lives in our bodies, slowly stealing away our health. Darwin said, "Survival depends on the ability to adapt to the environment." Many of us experience troublesome and oftentimes catastrophic effects because of the difficulty we have in adapting to our environments. Physical and emotional symptoms are imbalances that act as messages and ask us for rest, release, intervention, or perhaps a life change. Only we know what response would benefit us most, and often we are so out of tune with our soul-self and our body that we barely hear the messages, let alone know what action is most appropriate. If we could learn to listen to our bodies before the symptoms worsen or even appear, think how much faster we would recover and how much less discomfort we would have to endure. Recognizing what stresses us is the first step to healing. I recommend exploring your own personal stresses. Sit quietly and ponder where and how you experience stress and what, if anything, you do to handle it. Once you have an idea of what causes stress for you, you can begin to address your reactions with some simple stress-reduction methods. Stress reduction involves using mind/body techniques that can prevent, lessen, or halt further progression and eliminate symptoms. The self-healing techniques of visualization, self-hypnosis, energyhealing, meditation, and journeying taught in this book are excellent stress busters. As you progress through each chapter, you will gain new insights and tools to help you remain calm and centered in the face of stress. The following exercises of Stress Break, Inner Stillness, Daily Mindful Awareness, and Breathing will get you started right away. Choosing to use these self-help methods allows you to be active in obtaining and maintaining your own health versus being a passive patient, taking pills, or "living with it." Taking a "Stress Break" Creating short stress breaks like this one, just two or three minutes, to relax during the day and during stressful times is priceless. Wherever you are, make yourself comfortable and deeply breathe from your belly and diaphragm, taking in full deep breaths. Allow your chest to fully expand as your belly rises and falls. Take slow and deliberate, deep and rhythmic breaths. Turn on some soft, relaxing music, and avoid interruptions by unplugging the phone or going to a private room if you are not already alone. Turn off the lights and sit quietly. If you can't be alone and avoid interruptions, do the following anyway, wherever you

are. It will still be soothing and restful. Naturally allow your eyes to close. Breathe. Let your thoughts come and go; be passive with anything that enters your mind or consciousness. Breathe deeply. Accept the fact that you have no place to go, nothing you have to do in this moment. There are no problems that you have to solve right now. Give yourself permission to completely and totally relax. Breathe. Count from one to ten, taking deep and gentle breaths. Relax your body as you focus on each muscle group at a time, allowing them to loosen and uncoil. Focus on your toes, allowing them to become soft, loose, and relaxed. Then focus on your legs, your torso, your chest, moving up the body until you are at the top of your head and fully at rest. Visualize a pleasant scene, perhaps a relaxing tropical beach or a place in nature where you enjoy relaxing, perhaps your living room or bedroom. Breathe. Allow yourself to relax until it is time to return to your daily activities. This "stress break" can be done nearly anywhere (except driving), anytime, for as long or short a period of time as you have available. Use it as a daily break to unwind before stress levels build, or use it during stressful times to help yourself relax and think more clearly. Remember, when faced with a stress-inducing situation, always take deep breaths, check your reactions, and allow yourself to go with the flow. A crisis can turn out to be for your greatest good if you approach it in a way that allows you to grow from the experience. Letting Go of a Stressful Situation It is often a cathartic healing to be able to let go of energy-draining stress, tension, issues, and situations that seem to have no solution. The following exercises will help you change your perspective about difficult issues or situations, while at the same time inviting divine intervention to help. For this exercise you will need paper and a pen or pencil. Begin by taking in a deep breath and relaxing. Close your eyes and relax your body. Relax your mind. Relax your emotions. Let go of everything for a few moments, just relax and rest. Bring your awareness down into your solar plexus and feel your center warming with the heat of your own personal energy. Take in a deep breath and bring to mind the situation or issue that has been troubling you. Think about the issue or situation and allow yourself to notice your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Begin to write about the issue or situation, your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, using automatic writing. Write down everything that bubbles forth, exploring it all as thoroughly as possible. Don't worry if it seems jumbled or unorganized, just write down what comes as it comes, allowing it to flow from you to the paper. When you have exhausted all thought and feeling, sit back and take in a deep breath. Read your writing and notice how you feel and what you think. Write anything more that comes to mind. When you are finished, go outside or to the kitchen sink and burn the writing, asking the power of the fire to transform your issue, situation, thoughts, and feelings for the highest good of all. Release all of your thoughts, feelings, concerns, and attachments as you watch the paper burn. Gather the ashes and either bury them in the earth or wash them down the drain, again, letting go of all of your attachments to

everything about this. Take in a deep breath and notice how you feel. For the second exercise: Sit back, relax, and take in deep breaths. Close your eyes and relax your body. Relax your mind. Relax your emotions. Let go of everything for a few moments, just relax and rest. Bring your awareness down into your solar plexus and feel your center warming with the heat of your own personal energy. Take in a deep breath and visualize the situation or issue that has been troubling you. Imagine it as clearly as you can, seeing and feeling it. Wrap this issue or situation in a pink balloon and set it free into the sky, universal life force, or to any Spirit Guide or deity you choose. See the pink balloon still containing the issue, situation, thoughts, and feelings drifting away. Pink is the color of love so you know that your issue, situation, thoughts, and feelings will be surrounded by love, attracting positive energy for a healthy outcome. Release any attachments you have to the issue, situation, thoughts, or feelings. Totally release and let go, letting it all drift forth to receive divine intervention. Release any desire that you have for a certain outcome and let it all go. Be still and quiet inside. Allow yourself to relax and rest. When you feel ready, open your eyes and notice how you feel. The exercise that you just completed uses the technique of visualization, which you will learn more about in the next chapter. Many people have an innate ability to visualize, while others struggle to be able to "see" anything. If you were unsuccessful in this exercise, do not be concerned. By following the progressive steps of visualization taught in chapter 3, and with practice, this technique will become more effective. Inner Stillness Deep within all of us lies a large reservoir of peace, like a calm and peaceful, placid lake. It is a place so devoid of tension and stress that thoughts and feelings do not exist there. It is a place that we can reach through intentionally quieting down our "doing-ness," thoughts, and feelings. This is a state that practitioners of meditation train themselves to enter and hold for hours, but even if you don't have hours to spend in this state, you can access multitudes of self-healing benefits through short visits. Begin by sitting in a comfortable chair. Inhale slowly and deeply and, as you exhale, allow all of your everyday worries, stresses, and thoughts to exit with the breath. Inhale again, even more slowly and deeply than before and, as you exhale, allow the stress and tension in your muscles to exit your body and feel yourself become relaxed. Inhale deeply and slowly once more, and allow all of your emotions to exit with your exhalation. Now just become quiet, allow yourself to be still, and just be. As you sit quietly, bring your awareness to your center. Allow yourself to experience relaxation and inner calm. Now go deeper into your center, becoming aware of your inner stillness. Connect with that still point within. Don't do anything, and don't think anything, just be. Try to fall between the cracks of your thoughts and allow yourself to simply exist. Lose yourself. Totally let go of everything, your

thoughts, your emotions, any physical sensations, your sense of being in a physical body; just be aware of your soul. Try not to experience anything. You are nothing but your lifeforce energy. Just be this energy. When you have experienced quietness for as long as possible, return by gently opening your eyes and taking in a deep breath. Notice how you feel. By taking just a few minutes periodically throughout the day to connect with your inner stillness, you can instantly de-tensify your body, thoughts, and emotions, and nurture yourself with the quiet stillness that brings balance back into your life. Daily Mindful Awareness Healing begins with recognition of the problem. Awareness is an integral key to creating the shifts in your life that cultivate self-healing. Awareness is an ongoing state of mindfulness in which you train yourself to observe the wisdom of your inner self, your body, the universe, and the rhythm of life while in the midst of living everyday, ordinary life. It is "here and now" and an "all throughout the day" practice that creates an opening for life to move through you and in you, helping you to remain connected, harmonious, and balanced. Awareness is a window; look in periodically throughout the day and see what you notice. In our busy lives we often feel frustrated that we seem to get very little for ourselves in return. A great de-tensifyer is to make a point to do something every day that relaxes you, nurtures you, and makes you feel good. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive; something as simple as a short walk at lunch or taking the scenic way home can make a big difference in how you feel. When you treat yourself well, you are sending yourself positive energy. So pay attention to yourself-you're worth it! During training sessions I am often asked if it is possible to be tense without knowing it. The answer is "yes"; we are often tense and stressed without knowing it. We are busy and focused on our tasks, our lives, and our concerns, and do not notice the subtle messages our body sends us about being tense and stressed. To address this issue, you must become aware of yourself and check your tension levels periodically. Are your muscles tight? If so, which ones? Why? Consciously relax them. Pull those muscles back and stretch them. Notice what thoughts and emotions you are thinking and feeling. Is stress affecting your thoughts and feelings? Are your thoughts or feelings causing you stress? If so, use the following deep-belly breathing exercise to relax and slip into a few minutes of inner stillness. Breathing Breath is a master key to health and healing ... -Dr. Andrew Weil Learning to breathe correctly is an amazingly powerful and simple tool of de-tensifying. We don't

realize it, but most of us breathe incorrectly. We take short, choppy, shallow breaths using only the upper portion of our lungs. This improper breathing leaves us oxygen-starved and tense. Proper breathing entails breathing the way a baby does, with belly out on inhalation and in on exhalation. Poor posture is sometimes a reason for shallow breathing. It is important to sit up straight, yet relaxed, so that your chest can open fully upon inhalation. Notice if you tend to bend forward. Leaning forward closes the chest, limiting the flow of breath and life-force energy. Periodically throughout the day, check in on your breath and posture. Sit up straight and feel yourself open up. Pull your shoulders backward to open up your chest. This will help you breathe better and release tightness in your back, shoulders, neck, face, and head, often relieving or preventing head, neck, and backaches. Now, take in a slow, deep breath through your nose, filling your lungs all the way to the bottom and pushing your belly out. You may find it helpful to place your hands on your stomach. Feel this deep, full, belly breath stretch your lungs, rib cage, and spinal column. Hold it for as long as you can and then slowly release the breath through your mouth. Rest for a few moments, noticing the space between your exhalation and your next inhalation, and then breathe deeply again through your nose. Repeat several times. Notice the natural calm this simple exercise brings. If you happen to feel lightheaded while doing this exercise, stop and breathe normally for a few minutes and then continue. This feeling is a natural physiological reaction to the increased oxygen that will dissipate with practice. The practice of yoga contains powerful self-healing breathing techniques. The "Lion Posture" is a particular favorite for increasing personal energy and alleviating tension or depression. Kneel on the floor, with your toes on the floor underneath you so that you are sitting on your feet, with your hands on top of your knees. Take in a deep-belly breath and then exhale forcefully with a growl by opening your eyes as wide as possible, opening your mouth wide, sticking out your tongue, opening your hands wide and spreading out your fingers. This seems corny, but it has powerful effects. In addition to the influx of oxygen, this pranayama (yogic breathing) releases built up carbon dioxide with the air thrust and releases muscle tension in the face, head, neck, and upper back. The best defense is a good offense. You can headoff many stress-related problems by periodically switching your attention to your breath to calm, relax, reoxygenate, and reconnect. Notice how you have been breathing since the last time you checked in. Have you maintained a deep, rhythmic breath, or has it gotten short and choppy? Notice what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Take in several deep-belly breaths as described above. Notice again how you feel, and then return to your daily business. Repeat often. Relaxation Relaxation is our most powerful tool for de-tensifying. In order to circumvent the buildup of tension and stress, we must learn to relax, and not just at the end of the day with a drink or in front of the television, but all throughout the day, every day. Again, we accomplish this through intentional

awareness. Check in with yourself periodically to assess your stress level and release whatever stress and tension have accumulated since the last time you checked and released. In this way, you can be more relaxed and energetic in every moment. We are largely unaware of the vast amount of personal energy we keep locked in the tightness of our muscles, thoughts, and emotions. Once that is released through relaxation, we feel more energized because the energy that was once held in the tension and tightness is freed and becomes available to the body for healing or other activities. Perceptual change is one way we can alter the affect that stress has on our lives and bodies and help ourselves relax. Often, tension results from our perpetual time-crunching. We feel that we give so much of ourselves to others that soon there is nothing left for us. We give our time and energy to our families, spouses, work, obligations, commitments, and yes, even to our hobbies and fun. Even if most of this is good stress, it is still stress that leaves you questioning, "Where is my time?" It is this very perception that leaves us always asking and, usually lacking, an answer. Consider this: all time is your time. Your time is not your children's when they are demanding your attention, or your company's while you are at work, but yours. Every moment of every day, even if you are with someone else or doing something for someone else, you are with "you," and this is "your" time. This is an important perception to consider. When you are on your time all the time, this changes the stress you may feel from giving up so much of your time to someone or something else. When you are present with yourself, all of your time is your time, and you can relax into the flow of life. To illustrate, one snowy, mid-Michigan Saturday my husband and I drove two hours north to find that my daughter's competitive cheerleading competition was running two hours behind. Not only did I have a family dinner obligation that would now be impossible to make, I absolutely hate to waste time. In a quick assessment, I realized the only healthy option was to accept the circumstances and relax. I could have chosen to be uptight and angry, using precious personal energy, or I could take in a deep-belly breath, readjust my attitude, and shrug the frustration out of my body. I chose the latter, had a nice time conversing with other parents, and then found some alone space to do an energymovement visualization before the competition started. Choice and perception can change stress into an opportunity to relax and self-heal. We need only to be open to the options. Conversely, sometimes life has a way of getting carried away with itself, and us along with it, and we need more than a choice or perception change, we need triage. This is where the technique of progressive muscle and mind relaxation comes in. This powerful technique helps us to loosen and relax our muscles, release tightness and tension, and quiet the roaring mind. It guides us gently into letting go of thinking, mind-chatter, and busyness and into connecting with our calm inner self It is a good way to begin the day connected, to take much needed time-outs during the day, and a peaceful way to end the day. Sit back, take in a deep breath, become comfortable, and allow this relaxation exercise to ease your stresses and tensions. Sit or lay down in a place where you are comfortable and won't be interrupted. Quiet your mind.

Take in a deep breath and relax. Let go of any worries or stresses. Allow your mind to relax as the muscles of your body melt deep into the place where you are sitting or laying. With your next inhalation and exhalation, allow your body to fully relax, feeling at peace. Allow any thoughts to flow through you, acknowledge them, and let them drift away. As you continue to relax, a gentle, soothing feeling of relaxation washes up over your body and washes back down again, like the gentle lapping of waves. Relax and feel the rhythm of relaxation wash in, and wash back out, wash in, and wash back out, wash in, and wash back out. Warming, soothing, and relaxing. Warming, soothing, and relaxing. And as you continue to relax, resting in this peaceful, comfortable place, allow the muscles in your toes, legs, and hips to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles as they lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. And as you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your stomach and lower back to become loose and relaxed. All the muscles in your torso lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. And as you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your chest, upper back, and lungs to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Relax and breathe. Feel the life-force energy of the breath move within you. As you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your shoulders, arms, and hands to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles as they lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. And as you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your neck, face, and head to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. And now take in a deep and satisfying breath, filling your lungs all the way down to your stomach, and as you release the breath, your body feels totally calm, loose and relaxed, loose and relaxed. As you continue to relax, the muscles everywhere in your body become loose and relaxed. Feel every muscle, cell, and organ lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Relax every muscle fiber and every nerve. Totally relaxing your body, totally relaxing your mind. Loose and relaxed, loose and relaxed. And as you continue to relax in this peaceful, comfortable place, soothing and healing and resting, just become still. No thoughts, no feelings, simply quiet relaxation. Calm and relaxed, calm and relaxed. Remain in this calm and relaxed state for as long as you have time and when you are ready to return, simply open your eyes and allow yourself to gently come back into ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to reorient yourself and notice how you feel. Continue to relax for a few moments as you gently become more awake and alert. Journal your thoughts and feelings, and become aware of how you can use this tool in your daily arsenal against the destructive aspects of stress. Sleep Sleep is one of our most necessary functions and precious commodities. Stress creates a vicious cycle that robs us of our much-needed sleep through muscle pain and tightness, racing thoughts, restlessness, worry, and anxiety that causes sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation causes us to be tired, weak, and emotional, making us more vulnerable to our daily stress. This cycle soon affects our tolerance level, our ability to deal with challenges, and our immune system. Therefore, one of the

greatest de-tensifyers of all is a good night's sleep. Many people find it difficult to fall asleep or to have a full night's sleep when tension and racing thoughts persist at the end of the day. If this is an issue for you or you are interested in experiencing deeper sleep, try this sleep visualization, added to the relaxation exercise you just learned, before retiring to bed. You may also want to read this exercise into a tape recorder and play the tape in bed as you lay down to fall asleep. Take a moment to quiet yourself. Allow yourself to soften into relaxation using the relaxation exercise above. Take in a deep breath and relax. Let go of any worries or stresses. Allow your mind to relax as the muscles of your body melt deep into your bed. Feel supported and cradled by your bed. With your next inhalation and exhalation, allow your body to fully relax, feeling at peace. Allow any thoughts in your mind to drift away. Feel every muscle, cell, and organ lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Relax every muscle fiber and every nerve. Totally relaxing your body, totally relaxing your mind. Loose and relaxed, loose and relaxed. And as you relax, you are aware that your body is lying warm and safe in your comfortable bed, while your mind drifts off into deep relaxation. Feel how relaxed your body feels. Feel how relaxed your mind feels. Your muscles are limp and heavy, loose and relaxed. And now drift, drift away into deep, relaxing slumber. Sleep, relaxed, calm, peaceful, sleep. You easily drift into a deep and satisfying sleep that continues all night long. A deep and relaxed REM sleep that heals your body, nurtures your soul, and rests your mind and emotions. Sleep, deep, and restful, peaceful sleep. Calm, relaxed, sleep. Peaceful, serene, tranquil, relaxed, sleep. Deep and healing sleep. An important component to de-tensifying is reconnecting with your inner soul-self. In addition to the de-tensifying techniques you have just practiced, utilizing the following techniques of reconnecting will also break the debilitating cycle of stress on your body. Reconnecting with Your Soul-Self Reconnecting with your soul-self can be achieved using many different techniques. Indeed, every technique and exercise in this book helps you to reconnect with your soul-self. Through these exercises and techniques, you will be able to slip underneath your ego-oriented self and grocery-list mentality to discover your true self. In so doing, you become reconnected with the personal energy that is your life-force essence, where your truth, witness, inner healer, inner wisdom, and inner stillness live. So, you can see that all of the techniques that you use to bypass the ego-oriented mind to connect to your soul-self involve consciously letting go of the outside world to reconnect with your inside world. In so doing, you have the added benefit of de-tensifying at the same time. The Truth Spot Technique To become aware of your inner truth, it is important to learn what truth feels like in your body as an

added barometer to your thoughts and feelings. Once this skill is honed, you will be able to discern your truth through a resonating affirmation, even when your ego demands to be in control or your emotions are clouding your judgment. The truth spot technique is used in many disciplines and cultures around the world and is often what is being referred to in phrases like "sit with," "let simmer," "let cook," "go within," and "gut feelings." It is in quieting the busy mind, focusing on a situation or issue and being aware of how this makes you feel that you are using your inner guidance through physical sensation to discern your truth and your healthiest course of action. Begin this exercise by sitting quietly and clearing your mind and centering yourself. Inhale slowly and deeply and, as you exhale, allow all of your everyday worries, stresses, and thoughts to exit with the breath. Inhale again, even more slowly and deeply than before, and, as you exhale, allow all of the stress and tension in your muscles to exit your body and feel yourself become relaxed. Inhale deeply and slowly once more and allow all of your emotions to exit with your exhalation. Now, just become quiet, allow yourself to be still, and just be. As you sit quietly, bring your awareness to your center. Allow yourself to experience relaxation and inner calm. Now, make a true statement to yourself and sit with how that feels for you. Note the feeling that you have in your body when you do this. Note the exact spot(s) within you that resonates with the truth of this statement, and make a mental note of the tone of that feeling. Now, make an untrue statement. Note the difference of the feeling within you. In a similar way, make a mental note of the place(s) in your body where this "untrue spot" exists along with its characteristic tone. For example, if I were doing this exercise I could say my name is "Colleen Deatsman." This is true. I would sit quietly and feel where in my body this rings true and how that feels to me. Then I would make an untrue statement, such as my name is "John Denver." I would then feel the difference in both the exact place and the tone of the resulting resonance within me, as well as being aware of how other areas in my body are reacting. Many people report feeling warmth or a tingling sensation throughout their body that seems to be more concentrated in their solar plexus or heart when they speak the truth. When they speak the untruth, they report feeling constriction in the heart or a pit in the stomach feeling. Others feel all over natural energetic repulsion to the statement that signals their "red flag." Because each person is unique, individual responses will vary. I encourage you to practice and cultivate your awareness of truth and untruth until you feel comfortable trusting your internal discernment skills. Note the differences in your accuracy and inaccuracy at different times and when you are addressing different shadings of the truth. Often, your track record with this exercise will point to issues that you can then identify and understand within yourself. Very shortly, you will find that you are able to access this ability in the course of your everyday busy life, even when quiet centering is not possible. Truth will always hit your "truth spot," just as untruths will always hit your "untrue spot." In this same way, you can also unerringly determine right from wrong and healthy from unhealthy.

Meet Your Witness Your witness is a nonattached, nonemotionally involved aspect of your mind that simply observes and notices. It doesn't feel, judge, or try to fix or change anything. It is simply a surveyor. Becoming aware of your witness and using it to observe yourself is an important asset in your healing journey. It is essential to be able to notice how your body feels, what stimulus it is reacting to, and how it is reacting. It is also important to be able to notice your emotions and to observe how you handle them. It is equally crucial to notice your thoughts and your beliefs and to become aware of how they affect your actions and health. This part of your mind can be accessed by paying attention to your nonjudgmental observations. To become familiar with your witness, try the following exercise. Inhale a long deep breath ... sit back ... and let your body, mind, and emotions become quiet and relaxed. For just a moment, allow yourself to let go of all of your thoughts ... and all of your feelings ... and just sit quietly. Take in another deep breath ... and relax even more. Do you notice any thoughts or feelings that won't go away? The part of your mind that noticed these thoughts or feelings is your witness. Stay with this process for as long as you can, simply observing your thoughts ... your feelings ... your body. By using this aspect of your mind to observe your process, you can bypass many of the emotions and attachments to situations that have previously bound you. Similar to accessing your truth spot, you are able to access your witness by quieting your busy mind and observing what is happening within your thoughts. This is a key aspect of awareness and one that I recommend you practice often. Periodically, throughout the day, just observe. You will be amazed at what you will learn about yourself. Deepen your De-tensifying and Reconnecting Power with Alpha Inducing altered or nonordinary states of consciousness is essential to manifesting the desired benefits of all mind/body/spirit therapies. Why? Because our ego-oriented "ordinary" consciousness is often the very thing that blocks us from making healthy progress. To tap into our innate wisdom and natural healing powers, we need to circumvent our everyday grocery-list mentality and speak to our soul-self, to incorporate the very seat of our being into our program of vibrant health and self-actualization. By setting aside our well-stratified psychological defenses and opening to a more fluid and less guarded energetic state, we initiate a positive move toward balance and overall clarity. Techniques for accomplishing this have been developed in a host of different psychological and spiritual disciplines the world over for millennia. They work by setting aside or getting underneath our cluttered, defensive, everyday ego-mind, often by inducing brainwave patterns most conducive to this outcome. This technique of entering into the alpha state of consciousness will help you relax your conscious critical mind, and deepen your connection with your soul-self.

Create Alpha State Intentionally relaxing your mind and body into an alpha state of altered consciousness is a powerful healing and enlightening tool, which is beneficial for stress reduction, quieting your mind, reconnecting with your inner soul-self, balancing your emotions, energy movement, and affecting deep, internal change. The alpha state of consciousness that you will reach in this exercise is the measurable brain-wave activity of altered consciousness, analogous with relaxation, visualization, hypnosis, and dreaming. There are many effective ways to achieve this state, and indeed entire books have been written on this subject alone. Entering into the alpha state of altered consciousness occurs naturally through many methods, including such skills as daydreaming, lucid dreaming, becoming mesmerized by such things as a campfire, deep relaxation, countdown, prayer, hypnosis, meditating, journeying, trance dancing, drumming, rattling, the NIA technique, and many forms of ritual and ceremony. When in this state, you will feel relaxed, yet aware, because your senses are heightened. Although entering into alpha is easy and natural, it may require patience if you are not accustomed to intentionally entering an altered state of consciousness, but becomes simple and easy with continued practice. You are always in control while in the alpha state and can return to ordinary consciousness whenever you are ready simply by opening your eyes and reorienting yourself. However, I recommend counting back from twenty-one to one, and then opening your eyes, to allow yourself more time to shift consciousness. Always be gentle with yourself while coming out of the alpha state, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel. The following "universal induction" is an effective tool for generating the alpha state of altered consciousness through deep relaxation. By inviting the brain to become a distant observer, we create a calm, clear mind, allowing the subconscious to become more accessible. This forms the foundation of de-tensification and reconnection, to which we add visualization in chapters 3 and 4, and self-hypnotic suggestion in chapter 5 to move energy and deepen self-healing. Because you will be referred back to this universal induction frequently during the next several chapters, you may want to use a sticky note, or earmark this page. Universal Induction Go to a place where you will be undisturbed, darken the room, and turn off all phones. Play any soothing, relaxing music that you enjoy. Sit or lay down where you will feel warm and comfortable, safe and protected. Take a moment to quiet yourself. Take in a deep breath and relax. Allow your eyes to naturally close. Let go of any worries or stresses. Let yourself know that right now there is nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. Relax and enjoy this time for yourself. Take in a long, deep breath and feel the air nurture your lungs. As you exhale, allow all your stresses and tensions to release. With

each inhalation, you feel clear, pure energy entering your lungs, spreading throughout your body. With each exhalation, you feel any toxins, discomfort, or pain exiting your body with the breath. Allow your mind to relax as the muscles of your body melt deep into the place where you are sitting or lying. Feel supported and cradled by the earth, floor, chair, couch, or bed. With your next inhalation and exhalation, allow your body to fully relax, feeling at peace. Allow any thoughts to flow through you, acknowledge them, and then let them drift away, drifting away like balloons, high into the sky. Your mind relaxes and your brain becomes a quiet, distant observer. As you continue to relax, a gentle, soothing feeling of relaxation washes up over your body and washes back down again, like the gentle lapping of waves. Relax and feel the rhythm of relaxation wash in, and wash back out, wash in, and wash back out, wash in, and wash back out, wash in, and wash back out. Warming, soothing, and relaxing. Warming, soothing, and relaxing. As you continue to relax, resting in this peaceful, comfortable place, feeling the rhythm of the relaxation washing in, and washing back out, washing in, and washing back out, allow the muscles in your toes, feet, and ankles to relax. Feel those muscles as they lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Allow the muscles in your shins and calves, knees, thighs, your entire legs to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles as they lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. As you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your pelvis, buttocks, stomach, and lower back to become loose and relaxed. All the muscles in your torso lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. And as you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your chest, upper back, and lungs to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Take in a deep breath, and feel the air filling your lungs, moving all the way down to the bottom of your lungs, pushing your belly out. As you exhale, push your stomach in to exhale all the way from the bottom of your lungs. Feel the air coming out through your mouth. Feeling the life-force energy of the breath move within you as you fully exhale and deep inhale once more. As you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your shoulders, arms, elbows, forearms, hands, and fingers to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles as they lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. As you continue to relax, allow the muscles in your neck, throat, face, the back of your head, and the top of your head to become loose and relaxed. Feel those muscles lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Take in a deep and satisfying breath, filling your lungs all the way down to your stomach, and as you release the breath, your body feels totally relaxed, loose and relaxed, loose and relaxed. As you continue to relax, the muscles everywhere in your body become loose and relaxed. Feel every muscle, cell, and organ lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Relax every muscle fiber and every nerve. Totally relaxing your body, totally relaxing your mind. Loose and relaxed, loose and relaxed. As you continue to relax in this peaceful, comfortable place, soothing and healing and resting, deepen your relaxation and enter into an altered state of consciousness by slowly counting in your mind from one to twenty-one, relaxing deeper and deeper with every number that you count. Know that when you reach twenty-one, you will be completely calm and relaxed. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, deeply and totally relaxed. As you continue to relax, allow yourself to drift

into a deep inner stillness. Remain quiet, and relaxed, allowing the peaceful stillness deep within you to melt away everything. Take in a deep and satisfying breath, filling your lungs all the way down to your stomach, and as you release the breath, your body feels totally relaxed, loose and relaxed, loose and relaxed. As you continue to relax, the muscles everywhere in your body become loose and relaxed. Feel every muscle, cell, and organ lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. Relax every muscle fiber and every nerve. Totally relaxing your body, totally relaxing your mind. Loose and relaxed, loose and relaxed. Remain relaxed and quiet for as long as you are able, or have time for, and when you are ready to return, count back from twenty-one to one, slowly open your eyes and allow yourself time to shift consciousness. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible.

HEALING INSIGHTS Annette is a twenty-four-year-old single, daycare owner and operator. From a very young age, Annette has felt anxiety and a lack of self-trust. It takes her inordinate amounts of time to make a decision, and then she spends a great deal of energy rehashing every detail and second-guessing her decision. Annette came for therapy several years ago because she was driving herself crazy with her inability to function in life, especially in her business where she had to make important decisions. One of the key issues for Annette was that she had become disconnected from her heart by spending so much time in her head. This made it nearly impossible for her to quiet herself enough to be able to get in touch with and listen to her inner self. To this end, I taught her how to enter into her internal reservoir of peace. After some practice and by adding the Create Alpha State induction, Annette was able to visualize and feel her inner stillness like a calm and peaceful, placid lake. The more she practiced, the more tension and stress were released. I also taught her the Truth Spot exercise, so that she could use her gut feelings to help her sense the truth, make decisions, and quiet her secondguessing tendencies. The last time I saw her, she told me how amazed she was at how wonderful she feels now. She described feeling peace and solitude in her inner stillness place and that she goes there often. It has become easy for her to make decisions now. She thinks about her options, closes her eyes, and quiets

her mind. She sinks her thoughts down into her quiet place in her belly and waits for a feeling, a response to the options. Miraculously, it is always the right decision for her, and she rarely questions this response any more. If an occasional questioning does come in, she closes her eyes, quiets her mind, and returns to her quiet place to check for the truth and the right answer. She almost always finds that in those circumstances, her mind was trying to pull her back into the old habit of overthinking. HEALING INSIGHTS Tom is a forty-five-year-old security guard at a state prison. He entered therapy seeking stress release. He was having difficulty relaxing any time and sleeping at night, but he made it clear he wasn't interested in any "New Agey stuff." So instead of teaching Tom how to visualize or meditate, we focused on his breathing. Tom learned how to breathe correctly, to pay attention to his breathing throughout the day, and to check his posture. Just his little checks and corrections began to make a difference in how he felt. One day after participating in a frustrating meeting, Tom was angry and applied the "Lion Posture" breathing exercise after he returned to his secluded office. He started laughing out loud at himself, at how he must look, and then realized how much this helped ease his tension. Tom admitted in our next meeting that periodic breathing exercises calm, relax, refresh, and ease his stress. He told me he had never realized how shallow his breathing was, and he has been amazed at how many times a day he catches himself holding his breath. He now understands that a part of why he became so tired and tense was a lack of a steady supply of air and oxygen. HEALING INSIGHTS Karen is a student of mine who has suffered from fibromyalgia for many years. Due to her busy schedule, she chose to take the Inner Power workshop via the Internet. The following is her experience with the assignment to take a stress break. She expressed that it was very helpful for her to think about what causes stress in her life. The first thing was having too much to do in any given day, the second item was feeling as though she "should do" something or "had to do" something all the time. She was also surprised at how little she did to counteract the stresses in her life. That has changed! She enjoys taking a "stress break" several times a day for relaxation and finds it extra helpful to use this technique during times of stress. During our talk, she recounted the story of her stress break two weeks earlier. She said she felt a lot of energy move through her hands and became aware of stuck energy at her lower back and neck. She is usually unaware of this discomfort, but realizes that it has always been there. By quieting herself using the Alpha State exercise, she is able to release the discomfort. Taking stress breaks and performing the Relaxation exercise throughout the day have also helped enormously.

In touch and integrated does not have to be intense. Relax and enjoy the ride back to balance.

By harnessing the power that you have just realized by entering into the alpha state of relaxed consciousness and increased internal awareness, you are able to access aspects of yourself that have been largely hidden underneath your busy "doing mind" and activities. Blending this deep relaxation and soul-self connecting process with the techniques of visualization, energy healing, self-hypnosis, meditation, and journeying described throughout this book, will break the debilitating cycle of stress and disconnection. Harmonizing, balancing, and enlightening, these potent techniques will save your life. In the next chapter you will learn how to harness the healing powers of visualization, and then blend the alpha state of consciousness with visualization to deepen the process of de-tensification and reconnection.

Imagination is more important than knowledge. " -Albert Einstein Visualization is the technique of harnessing the ingenious power of your imagination for your own benefit and manifestation. This is accomplished by a combination of attention focus, systematic relaxation, creation of visual images in the mind and awareness of physical sensations. We have all had some experience with visualization whether we are aware of it or not. Perhaps you daydreamed about an upcoming exciting event, such as a vacation, during a mundane task, like a long drive or a household chore. You see what it's like in your mind's eye and feel the excitement with your emotions and in your body. Or you dread an upcoming meeting or altercation. Your mind plays out the situation, you feel anxiety, and your body reacts with a heartache or the feeling of having an empty pit in the bottom of your stomach. These are ways you have experienced visualization unintentionally. By becoming aware of your innate visualization skills and using them intentionally, you can use this power to create anything that you want. Since the mind reacts physiologically to imagined events the same way it does to real events, you can create health by imagining health, just as you can manifest anything else you desire in this way. It is a well-known fact that the body's chemical immune response is affected both positively and negatively by stimuli. Consider the destructive toll that unrelieved stress takes on our health. Likewise, visions of pleasure and peace can restore balance to the ravaged body, in addition to creating a feeling of relaxed calm. There is no limit to what you can manifest with the multitudes of visualization possibilities. Whatever you can imagine, you can create. It is as simple as determining what you desire in your world and putting the power of your mind, your intention and attention to work to create that reality by visualizing your world in that way. The first step in using visualization for healing is to determine what you would like to manifest. It is important to be specific about your intention. Take a few moments to quiet yourself and consider what you desire to create. Once you have specified your determined outcome, imagine this in your mind in its completed state, as if it is already in existence. Focus and concentrate all of your attention and intention on this vision until you are able to "see" and "feel" the image. Use all of your senses to "feel" it into reality. If you have trouble "seeing" the vision in your mind, don't worry. Being able to "see" is a skill that often improves with practice, but ironically being able to see is not what makes visualization effective. Indeed, there are many who use visualization effectively that are not able to "see" anything with their mind's eye. They "feel" the images and the energy of their intention through

physical and emotional sensations. When you image and feel a vision in your mind, you are creating, forming, and moving your personal energy and the universal energy; therefore, if you are unable to "see," you are still affecting an energy change through intention. If you are able to see the images of your intended manifestation, it is still important to feel the vision with all of your senses to create this energy change. Blending vision with feeling solidifies the energy and makes it more tangible. This concentrated focus gives energy to your intentions and brings your manifestations into physical existence sooner and more powerfully. The technique of visualization does not require entering into an altered state of consciousness; however, I recommend doing so when possible to deepen your visualization experience. An altered state will help you to be more creative, connected to your soul-self, open to energy, and aware of everything, including your body, so that you will feel the health benefits sooner and the effects will manifest on deeper levels. Let's Get to It! Begin by choosing a physical object in your immediate environment. For example, let's say there is a vase of flowers sitting on your table. Look at the flowers for a few moments. You don't need to do anything special, just look at them. Now, sit back, take in a deep breath, and allow yourself to relax. Close your eyes and use your mind to recall the image of the flowers. If the flowers don't appear at first, don't worry; just relax and allow the image to appear. As the flowers come into your mind, hold that image and see if you notice any details about the flowers. Notice things like the colors, the shapes, the varieties, and any greenery or other accents that you can recall. Notice what you are feeling in your body and with your emotions. Do the colors, textures, and overall image generate any feelings? What about this causes you to feel that way? Open your eyes and clear this image from your mind. The next step is to recall something that you can easily recognize, but that you have not seen for awhile. For example, let's use an orange. You may not have physically observed an orange for a few days or weeks, but you know what one looks like; in fact, you may already be seeing this orange in the back of your mind as you read this. Whether you see it now or not, sit back, close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. Use the power of your mind to recall the image of an orange. See the orange in your mind. Notice the color, the shape, the size, and any other details you can detect. Do you notice the pores or the navel? If the image does not come right away, don't force it. Just relax and allow your powerful mind to work. Notice what you are feeling in your body and with your emotions. Do the colors, textures, and overall image generate any feelings or sensations? What about this causes you to feel that way? Open your eyes and clear this image from your mind. If you are having trouble visualizing or feeling the flowers or the orange, continue to practice these techniques until you can to strengthen your visualization capabilities.

Once you are easily able to recall and visualize objects from your daily world, it's time to harness the power of your imagination to recall abstract images from memory. In this way you'll begin to develop your visualization practice for healing. The following simple exercise, called the Rainbow Count, entails visualizing the numbers one through seven, one at a time, while visualizing a specific color in correlation with each number. If you know about chakras (explained in chapter 4), you will notice that the colors correspond to the chakra energy wheels of the body, as well as to the colors of rainbows and prisms. This exercise relaxes the mind and brings the white light (consisting of all the other colors) of universal energy into the body. This technique is great for taking a short time-out to reconnect with your soul-self and divine energy when you feel anxious and out of center. Because this exercise opens your energy wheels to universal energy, it is also helpful for relieving aches and pains and warding off illness. Therefore, it's a great exercise to do if you feel a cold coming on. Find a quiet place, become comfortable, and allow your eyes to naturally close. Breathe deeply, and allow your body to fully relax. Take as much time as you need. Bring your awareness down into your solar plexus, and feel the calm balance of your center. Now visualize in your mind the number one colored red. Hold it and let it go. An orange two, yellow three, green four, blue five, purplish-indigo six, and a violet turning to white seven. If you have a few more minutes, deepen your relaxation and enter into an altered state of consciousness by slowly counting in your mind from one to twenty-one, relaxing deeper and deeper with every number that you count. Know that when you reach twenty-one, you will be completely calm and relaxed, deeply and totally relaxed. Remain quiet, and relaxed, allowing the peaceful stillness deep within you to melt away any external stress. When you are ready to return, slowly count back from twenty-one to one, open your eyes, and allow yourself time to shift consciousness. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything about these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. Now that you are able to image abstract objects from your memory, you are ready to create your own visualization, to manifest something that you desire. To begin, take in a deep breath and relax. Clear your mind from everyday thoughts. Decide exactly what you would like to manifest, and say this intention out loud or to yourself three times. The clearer you are about your intention, the easier it will be to visualize and manifest, so be as specific as possible. Now, close your eyes and form a clear picture in your mind of what you choose to manifest. Relax and allow the images to flow, as if you are watching a movie or daydreaming. This may seem surreal or a little odd at first, but as you practice you will solidify these healing images and make it reality. Concentrate on the images and feel them with your body and your emotions. If you are not able to actually "see" this in your mind's eye, just hold the idea in your thoughts. Concentrate all of

your attention, intention, and energy on the images and the feelings of what you are creating. Take in another deep breath, hold it a few moments, and release any tensions as you exhale. Allow yourself to relax further, and if any everyday thoughts have slipped in, allow them to drift away. Remind yourself that right now there is nowhere else to go and nothing else to do but focus on this vision. Concentrate all of your mental and emotional faculties on your intention and your vision. Continue to relax fully as you see your vision in its totality ... exploring, seeing, and feeling all of the varied aspects, phases, and expressions of your vision. Continue to relax, concentrate, and take your time. Take in a deep breath, exhale, and focus your mind, your feelings, and your will on your intention. Play the images in your mind for as long as you can or as long as you have time. When it is time to return, be gentle with yourself as you slowly open your eyes and return to ordinary wakeful consciousness. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything about these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. It is important to take a few moments periodically throughout the day, every day, to focus on these images, giving them positive energy in addition to your preset self-healing practice time. Develop visual cues that stimulate your memory to help you to remember to focus on your goal, such as posting simple drawings of your visualizations, trigger words, or sayings in places that you frequent. Remember: What you give energy to, you give life to. The more energy you give to your vision, the more power it has to physically manifest for you. Creating your own visualization is even more powerful when combined with the Universal Induction described in the previous chapter, to achieve deeper healing and personal growth.

If you are drawing a blank on creating your own visualizations, or you prefer to use the many powerful visualizations that are already in existence, you may choose to use the technique of guided visualization, sometimes also referred to as guided imagery. This technique entails using your visualization skills to follow, see, and feel a visualization exercise that is led by another person either through the written word, audiotapes, or in person. This is a great way to heal through the experience and guidance of another and to obtain ideas for your own visualization creations. The remainder of this chapter contains guided healing visualizations and case studies from my personal and professional experience that are intended to help you deepen your healing practice of visualization. To effectively practice guided visualization, I recommend that you retire to a quiet, comfortable room without interruptions. After you have read through the exercise, put on some soothing, quiet music, sit back, close your eyes, take in a deep breath, and relax. Clear your mind of all thoughts and worries. Mentally guide yourself through the exercise. Relax and concentrate on the images and your feelings

as they flow through you. Manifesting Your Natural Perfect Health The following visualization is intended to help you create the strong, healthy body you desire. Allow yourself to relax using the Universal Induction (page 32) and add: As you continue to relax, imagine that you are completely and totally healthy right now. Visualize yourself in perfect health, filled with energy and vitality for life. See yourself embodying the health that you have always wanted. You are strong, healthy, and vital. See and feel your health and vitality. Create a clear and vivid image of this. Really see it in your mind, feel it in your mind, and tangibly feel it in your body. (long pause) Sense your emotions and notice how it feels to be perfectly healthy. (long pause) Feel how it is to be this strong, healthy, and vital. See and feel yourself doing the things that you have always wanted to do, like having the energy and the ability to play with your kids, feeling good all day, becoming more active and athletic, maybe even working out every day or taking long refreshing walks or running a marathon. Whatever you desire, see it, feel it, make it real in your mind, really live it in your mind. Visualize yourself in perfect health, filled with energy and vitality for life. See yourself embodying the health that you have always wanted. You are strong, healthy, and vital. See and feel your health and vitality. Focus on the images, intention, and feelings ... noticing any details that you can detect. (long pause) What do you look like? (long pause) How do you feel? (long pause) What are you doing? (long pause) Notice anything that comes into your mind, your thoughts, and your feelings. Relax and allow the images to flow as if you are watching a movie or engaged in a daydream. (long pause) See yourself living this life of perfect health and vibrant energy and know that you can bring this image into your everyday life. Focus all of your intention and attention on these images. Allow them to sink down deeply into your subconscious mind ... and allow them to become the way that you are in your everyday life. Healthy, vibrant, radiant. Feel the power that you have with this healthy, happy energy. (long pause) Know in your mind, heart, and soul that you are strong, and powerful, and able to do anything that you set your intentions on, including perfect health. Continue to see and feel yourself doing the things that you have always wanted to do. Use the power of your imagination to make these images vivid in your mind and feel the energy of the images in your emotions and in your body. (longpause) Feel the images sinking down deep within your soul and into the center of your body. You feel strong, and happy, and healthy. You are vibrant, radiant, and energetic. You feel strong, and happy, and healthy. You are vibrant, radiant, and energetic. Remain quiet and relaxed as you see and feel these images. Hold the images and feelings for as long as you have time. When you are ready to return, count back from twenty-one to one, slowly open your eyes, and allow yourself time to shift. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel.

Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. Recalling and Reclaiming Your Health This visualization for healing entails using the power of your mind to activate cell memories of health and exuberance. Memories of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions to events, periods of time, and states of being are stored in the cells of your body. This is why most people experience physical reactions to memory triggers, such as feeling nauseated when thinking about the first few months of a pregnancy or feeling muscle tension when recalling a bad experience. This naturally occurring phenomenon can be used for healing in many ways. In this exercise you will ask your mind to recall a time when you were healthy, happy, and strong. The purpose is not to create longing for your past health but to remind your body, organs, and cells how to be like that. Through your memory trigger your body will feel those sensations again and remember what it felt like to be healthy. These sensations create a feeling of harmony and connectedness in your body, mind, and emotions that trigger your cells to recreate this state of balance. Allow yourself to relax using the Universal Induction (from page 32) and add: And as you continue to relax, bring your awareness down into your solar plexus and feel the calm balance of your center. Use the power of your mind to recall a time when you were strong, happy, and healthy and allow the visual images of yourself to bubble forth in your mind. Notice the images becoming clearer and clearer as you relax into them. See yourself as you were in your healthy state. (long pause) Recall how it felt to be healthy. (long pause) Hold the images in your mind and let them sink deep into your thoughts, your emotions, and your body. Tangibly feel the images in each and every muscle, organ, system, bone, and cell. (longpause) See yourself as you were in your healthy state. Recall how it felt to be healthy. See and feel these sensations and images. Use the power of your memory to recall all the things you did when you were healthy. Relax and allow these images to become clear and vivid in your mind's eye. (long pause) Feel the sensations in your body and in your emotions as you view the images as if you were watching a movie or involved in a daydream. Remind yourself how to be healthy now based on your past experience. Allow your body to feel vibrant health now. See yourself strong, happy, and healthy. Feel yourself in this connected and harmonious state and allow your muscles, bones, organs, nerves, and every cell in your body to recreate this balance. (long pause) Remain quiet and relaxed as you see and feel these images. As you continue to relax and allow the feelings and images to flow, ask the internal healer within you to activate your natural healing abilities. (long pause) You know how to be healthy, you have been there before, now make that happen

again with your intention and attention. Tell yourself, "I am healthy! I am strong! I am vital!" Tell yourself, "I am healthy! I am strong! I am vital!" Tell yourself, "I am healthy! I am strong! I am vital!" Hold the images and your intention for as long as you have time. When you are ready to return, slowly count back from twenty-one to one, open your eyes, and allow yourself time to shift. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. Activate Your internal wisdom and Healer Pain is a message that our body sends attempting to notify us that we are out of balance and harmony. Sometimes it is our body that is out of balance, sometimes it is our emotions, thoughts, energy field, or soul that is out of balance. It is often difficult to ascertain the origin of the imbalance if we are out of tune with our inner wisdom. By becoming relaxed and aware, we can connect with our inner wisdom to learn of our imbalances and blockages. Once we are aware of the causes of our discomfort, we can then connect with our inner healer to correct these imbalances and restore natural health and vitality. Your inner healer and your inner wisdom are powerful aspects of your soul-self that form the backbone of your self-healing practice. Your inner healer is the aspect of your soul-self that activates your natural inner healing abilities. Your inner wisdom is the aspect of your soulself that is your inner guide, your intuition, and your inner knowing. Now sit back, take in a deep breath, and relax as you journey into the depths of your soul to meet and activate these two powerful internal allies. Allow yourself to relax using the Universal Induction (from page 32) and add: And as you continue to relax, become aware of your whole body for a few moments. (long pause) Become quiet inside and allow yourself to feel what your body feels. Ask your body to "talk" to you and listen, really listen, "hear," and feel what is being communicated. (long pause) Carry on a conversation with your muscles, organs, systems, nerves, and cells, and ask them to communicate with you. (long pause) As you continue to communicate with your body, allow yourself to become aware of your pain, discomfort, or illness. Send your awareness deep into the pain, discomfort, or illness. You may feel some resistance at first since we are often taught to ignore our pain. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling and then challenge yourself to go deeply into your pain, discomfort, or illness, and listen to the wisdom it tells you. (long pause) Ask it if there is a blockage or imbalance. (long pause) What is the blockage or imbalance? (long pause) Where does the blockage or imbalance come from? (long pause) Why is the blockage or imbalance there? (long pause) Notice if there is a color associated with the blockage or imbalance. What significance is this color? What does it mean? Notice if there is a feeling associated with the blockage or imbalance. What significance is

this feeling? What does it mean? What else can you notice about this? (long pause) What can be done to release this blockage or to correct this imbalance? (long pause) Send your awareness deeper into your inner wisdom now by moving beyond the pain, discomfort, or illness into the system, organ, muscles, bones, tissue, nerves, or cells where the pain, discomfort, or illness has taken up residence. Become familiar and intimate with this area. Spend some time there, become friends, feel what it's like there. Be aware of anything that you notice. Be open, feel and listen with your inner knowing. Ask why the pain, discomfort, or illness has settled in this area. (long pause) Allow words and feelings to bubble forth into your conscious mind. If this area could talk to you, what would it tell you? (long pause) And now as your awareness sits in this place within you, send the area love ... send the area attention. Let this area know that you hear what it is telling you and that you will honor its requests to the best of your abilities. Send this area gratitude for working hard to keep you healthy and aware. (long pause) And again, send the area deep, heartfelt love and affection. (long pause) Feel the nurturing affects of your love and affection being received and absorbed by the cells. Allow yourself to see and feel the healing effects right now as they are happening within you. Your inner healer is healing your body. See and feel it happening. (long pause) As you continue to relax, ask your inner wisdom if there are any other blockages or imbalances that you need to be aware of? (long pause) Where? (long pause) What? (long pause) Why? (long pause) What else can you tell me about them? (long pause) Notice if there is a color associated with the blockage or imbalance. What significance is this color? What does it mean? Notice if there is a feeling associated with the blockage or imbalance. What significance is this feeling? What does it mean? Be aware of anything that you notice. Be open, feel and listen with your inner knowing. Ask why the pain, discomfort, or illness has settled in this area. (long pause) Allow words and feelings to bubble forth into your conscious mind. If this area could talk to you, what would it tell you? (long pause) As your awareness sits in this place within you, send the area love ... send the area attention. Let this area know that you hear what it is telling you and that you will honor its requests to the best of your abilities. Send this area gratitude for working hard to keep you healthy. (long pause) And again, send the area deep, heartfelt love and affection. (long pause) Feel the nurturing affects of your love and affection being received and absorbed by the cells. Allow yourself to see and feel the healing effects right now, as they are happening within you. Your inner healer is healing your body. See and feel it happening. (long pause) As you continue to listen to the messages and the wisdom of your body, ask what can be done to release all of my blockages? (long pause) What can be done to balance all of my imbalances? (long pause) Be aware of anything that you notice. Be open, feel and listen with your inner knowing. As you continue to listen to the messages and the wisdom of your body, communicate your intention to achieve health, harmony, and balance with your whole body. Let all of your muscles, bones, organs, systems, and cells know that you desire to create health. Ask your inner healer to

restore the natural harmony and balance in your body, mind, emotions, energy field, and soul that creates perfect health. (long pause) See and feel this happening ... and allow the images and feelings to bubble forth into your conscious awareness. (long pause) Send your intention of health, harmony, and balance into your body, suggesting that all of your systems and cells operate smoothly and easily at optimum levels. Bathe your body in love ... compassion, nurturance, and restorative balance. Hold the images and your intention for as long as you have time. When you are ready to return, slowly count back from twenty-one to one, open your eyes, and allow yourself time to shift. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. Releasing Stress, Tension, and Blockages Allow yourself to relax using the Universal Induction (from page 32) and add: And as you continue to relax, imagine that you are lying on the beach in a beautiful relaxing tropical paradise. The warm, yellow-orange sun is shining down upon your body, warming, soothing, healing. Not too hot, just right. The perfect comfortable temperature for you. And the warm tropical breezes are blowing in off the ocean. Blowing in through the palm trees causing the fans of the palms to create light, wispy sounds as they lightly brush against one another. The sky is a deep, deep cobalt blue, and it's beautiful. Crystal clear, warm, and soothing. And you can hear the rhythm of the waves as they wash in, and wash back out, wash in, and wash back out, wash in, and wash back out. Warming, soothing, and relaxing. Warming, soothing, and relaxing. Take in a deep breath, and feel the air filling your lungs, moving all the way down to the bottom of your lungs, pushing your belly out. As you exhale, pull your stomach in to exhale all the way from the bottom of your lungs. Feel the air coming out through your mouth. Feeling the life-force energy of the breath move within you as you fully exhale and deeply inhale once more. As you continue to relax, bring your awareness down into your solar plexus, and feel the calm balance of your center. As you continue to relax on the beautiful tropical beach, soothing and healing and resting, the warm sun shines down on your body, filling you with the warm, healing energy of the sun. The warm and gentle breeze blows over your body. As you relax on the beach near the ocean, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again, taking with it any headache pain or sinus congestion out into the sea, out into the tropical sea. Clearing out each and every one of your sinuses, cleansing, and soothing, and healing. And as you relax on the beach, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle

wave and washes back down again, taking with it any neck tension, shoulder tension, and any tension or pain in your back. All tightness and all tension is washed away. Washed away with the healing, soothing energy of the soft, turquoise-blue ocean. Healing, soothing, and relaxing. All the tension goes out into the sea, out into the vast and powerful sea where it dissipates and no longer affects you. As you relax on the beach, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again, taking with it any lung congestion, chest or back tightness and constriction. Take in another deep breath down into your belly and release any blockages a s you exhale with the retreating rhythm of the warming, soothing, healing wave of energy. As you relax on the beach, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again, taking with it any tension, any tightness, and any blockages from around your spinal column. Each and every vertebrae is cleaned out, cleansed, and healed. Each and every muscle fiber, cell, and nerve is soothed, and bathed in the warm, ocean, saline, energy. All pain, discomfort, or blockages are washed out into the tropical sea, leaving you now. As you relax on the beach, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again, moving down through your lower back and your pelvis, bathing, and soothing, and healing, all of the organs, all of the muscles, and all of the cells in your torso. Releasing, cleansing, and clearing away any blockages. Moving the energy out with the waves, out into the tropical sea. As you continue to relax, take in yet another deep-belly breath. Feel it stretching your lungs, stretching your lower back, and stretching your spine. As you exhale the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again, taking with it any pain or discomfort, tension or tightness that you may have in your legs or knees, releasing any energy blockages and washing them out into the sea, out into the vast tropical sea, leaving you now. As you relax on the beach, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again, releasing any tightness, tension, or blockages that you may have in your ankles, feet, heels, arches, balls of your feet, or in your toes. Cleansing, and soothing, and healing. Cleansing any blockages, and washing them out into the sea, out into the tropical sea, leaving you now. As you relax on the beach, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again, releasing any residual tension, any residual blockages, healing and soothing, completely and totally relaxing your body, your mind, your emotions, and your soul. You feel calm and peaceful. Calm and quiet. Serene and tranquil, like a placid lake, still, quiet, without movement, just peaceful, quiet, calm, stillness. Soothing peacefulness, solitude, peaceful, quiet, deep satisfying inner solitude. As you relax on the beach, the warming, soothing, healing energy of the ocean washes up over your body like a gentle wave and washes back down again; it brings to you the strength and the power of the ocean to heal your body, to help you deal with life, to face your challenges, and to make you strong, happy, and healthy. Strong, happy, and healthy. Hold the images and your intention for as long as you have time. When you are ready to return, slowly count back from twenty-one to one, open your eyes, and allow yourself time to shift. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how

you feel. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. Creating Internal Awareness The following visualization is intended to help you hone your self-awareness skills. Allow yourself to relax using the Universal Induction (see page 32) and add: As you continue to relax, imagine that you have become a molecule of air. As this molecule, you are outside of your body. As this molecule of air, you can see your body. You brush up against your face and feel the softness of your skin. As this molecule of air, you are also outside of your mind, emotions, thoughts, and feelings. In this place outside the body, you have no awareness of what is going on inside the body. You can't feel anything, any pain or pleasure. There are no emotions. You can't feel any sadness or any joy. There are no thoughts, just quiet awareness. As this molecule of air outside yourself, you begin to notice a flowing movement surrounding the body. You sense a flowing, rhythmic motion. You feel your life force pulsating through the energy field of your body. It is moving, and when you let yourself feel its texture, it is soft and warm. As a molecule outside of your body, you can feel your life force moving through and around your body. It is your energy field, your aura. Sit with this awhile. Feel the movement. Now let that energy movement carry you to your inside. The molecule of air that you have become is breathed into the body. You float in through the nose and enter into the lungs. As the molecule of air, you feel the life force in here strongly pulsating throughout the entire body. For breath is life. You feel warmed by the life within. You feel the feelings of your mind and emotions. You know what you are thinking. Take a few moments to stay here and listen to the thoughts of your mind. Now feel the feelings of your emotions. Don't hide from them or push them away. Feel them. Take a deep breath. Listen to them. Acknowledge your feelings. Sit with these for a while, as long as you would like. Simply be aware of yourself. The longer you sit with them, the more you will get to know your self. Notice what you see in your mind as you feel with your emotions and your body. Sit with these insights. Explore them and let them grow. You may feel uncomfortable with this at first. If you haven't gone inside much before, this may feel new and different. You may feel some discomfort at first with your thoughts and emotions but let them settle and relax. Just observe. Don't place judgments on these thoughts or emotions, just be with them. You may feel pleasure and peacefulness. If you do, sit with this and allow it to fill your whole body. Connect with your deep soul-self.

The more you go into your self, the more you will begin to know your self and, eventually, the more peace you will begin to feel. Allow yourself to feel the calm and peace deep within you. That peace that you are touching deep inside of you is your soul-self, your Spirit. It is your life-force energy, your essence, your soul. Feel the pulsation of this Spirit and this energy. It is alive and glowing. Feel it glowing stronger in the center of your body as you focus on it, like a sun inside of your belly. Feel the heat and the glow as this sun radiates out through your torso and extremities and into your whole body. Sit with this feeling and allow it to grow and circulate. Feel the energy extend out beyond your body, encompassing your whole being in a warm, pulsating glow of healing energy. Play with this feeling, experiment with it. If you want, grow it as big as the room that you might be in, then bring it all back in. Keep it in your body. Focus on the pleasure, the warmth, and the glow. Keep it in your center, in your belly, at your solar plexus area. Be aware of ways in the past you have allowed this energy to escape your center, perhaps by giving too much to someone or by doing things you really didn't want to do but thought you should. Don't be judgmental about this, just be aware. Just allow yourself to sit with the awareness. Feel the glow burning strong in your center and allow that to remain. Focus on this sun of warming, moving energy inside of you, keeping you healthy and alive, strong and power filled. Feel the calm. Feel the peacefulness. Feel the stillness within. Feel the awareness and inner knowing that comes from this still point within your center. Feel the warm energy spread throughout your body, moving into all extremities and systems. If there is any place in your body that is experiencing pain, blockage, or imbalance, hold this energy in that area. Feel the energy spiral and release the imbalance. Feel the energy heal your body. Now take in a deep breath. Feel the energy move back into your center. Allow this molecule that is you to stay inside of that sun center to help you to stay informed of what is going on inside of your body, mind, and emotions. Allow this molecule to be a listening ear inside of you, helping you to hear the messages of your body, mind, emotions, and Spirit. Allow yourself to remain aware. And know the fire of this energy burns strongly, deep within you at all times. It is always glowing, always healing, feeling, moving. Feeling strong, happy, and healthy. Listen and feel as long as you have time. Return to ordinary consciousness by slowly counting back from twenty-one to one, open your eyes, and allow yourself time to shift. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. Visualization Vacations as a Healing Stress BreakIn addition to manifesting healing or goals you can use visualization to heal in other ways. For example, when you become bored with the mundane or need a break from life, take a mind/body/spirit vacation by visualizing yourself in one of your favorite vacation spots or slipping into the solitude of

nature. Travel deep into the images and tangibly feel yourself in that place. Notice your body relax and your emotions calm. Using visualization in this way can make a difference in the quality of your life and reconnect you to the power you need to live your life fully. Try the following visualization to take a break or to help generate ideas for creating your own visualization vacations. Solitude of Nature Allow yourself to relax using the Universal Induction (from page 32) and add: Envision yourself slipping off to a beautiful place in nature on a warm and sunny day. It might be a place that you already know, like a favorite garden, forest, meadow, tree, lake, river, or vacation spot. A place that you visited in the past where you felt a connection or a place where you visited or frequented as a child. It may be a place that you have never been before and that you are not sure exists. Allow your mind to slip off to that place and feel yourself there enjoying the peace and solitude. You are all alone in this beautiful place. There is nowhere to go and nothing to do, just be here now alone in nature. No one wants anything from you here, so you can lay down all of your roles and obligations and simply relax. Be yourself. Feel you being yourself, free from your everyday world. Notice how this feels. (long pause) And as you continue to relax, notice how being here alone in nature makes you feel. (long pause) Become quiet inside and open to the sounds, sensations, and energies of nature. Look around this peaceful place and notice what you see. (long pause) Notice if there are any trees, flowers, plants, water, birds, or animals. Notice the details of whatever you see ... the colors, the textures, the sizes, the variations, the likenesses and the differences of the things and beings around you. Notice how seeing these makes you feel inside. (long pause) In a safe and protected area within this beautiful place, lie down, rest, and become totally relaxed. Feel the gentle breeze blow through your hair and the warm sun caressing your face. Notice any sounds that you may hear and see if you can detect what they are and where they are coming from. Become aware of any messages that are coming to you with these sounds. Allow your inner wisdom to interpret any information that you need to know. Acknowledge it and then let it go, knowing that it will return to you when this exercise is finished. Notice any smells that drift your way, be aware of what they are and where they are coming from. Notice how you feel. (long pause) Become aware of any messages that are coming to you from inside of yourself. Allow your inner wisdom to interpret any information that you need to know. Acknowledge it and then let it go, knowing that it will return to you when this exercise is finished. As you continue to relax, know that there is nothing to do, nothing more to do, but relax, and enjoy. Relax, and enjoy. Just relax, release and relax. Let go of everything that you hold in your mind. (long pause) Let go of everything that you hold in your body, letting it all melt into the place where you lay.

(long pause) Let go of all of your emotions and feelings. (long pause) There is nothing, nothing, nothing, just be. (long pause) Just be still, and quiet inside. (long pause) Lose yourself in the quiet for as long as you can ... As you once more become aware of your surroundings, you notice that a gentle warm rain has begun to fall around you. Your beautiful nature place dons a new face in the rain and you notice the differences. (long pause) Large beads of moisture hang from the leaves, tempting the thirsty earth with their inevitable release. The rhythmic sound of the drip, drip, drip of the rain softly caressing the earth and the plants near you lends a feeling of tranquility. The wetness of a tepid drop meets your skin and silently slides away. The fresh scent of the rain and the earthy smell of wet dirt flows into your awareness with each inhalation. And with each exhalation you notice that you feel refreshed and cleansed by the healing rain. Notice that you feel relaxed and refreshed. (long pause) Relax, and enjoy for as long as you have time. When you are ready to return, slowly count back from twenty-one to one, open your eyes, and allow yourself time to shift. Be gentle with yourself, take in a deep breath, and notice how you feel. Allow yourself to gently return to full, ordinary consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible. Combining Visualization with Repetitive Activities In our busy world of time-crunching and stress, we sometimes make our lives even more stressful by trying to add good things into our already overwhelmingly busy lives. In reality, what we need to do is add the good things to the other things that we are already doing. For example, I do some of my best self-healing work while doing my daily repetitive workoutrunning, yoga, or bicycling on the spinning bike. This is also effective for "mundane" daily activities, like doing dishes and gardening. In fact, my friend Chris, who teaches spinning classes in Cincinnati, informed me that the spinning workout was developed by a man with attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) as a means for meditation. Because he found it impossible to meditate while sitting still, he created spinning to provide a safe indoor nontraveling mode of repetitive movement to help him relax and empty his thoughts. We can do the same with any activity that does not require us to be alert and watchful for things like traffic or a ball coming at us. Any repetitive movement or mundane daily activity, where we are safe from harm's way, is a great time for us to be mindful of our self-healing and practice of visualization. Instead of beating yourself up with self-defeating thoughts or circular mind games while exercising or taking care of your daily chores, make this time productive with positive mindful focus and selfhealing. You can use any visualizations that you find effective and bring them into your activity in whatever way works for you, or by following this example:

Take a moment to quiet yourself as you slowly begin your activity. Take in a deep breath and relax. Let go of any worries or stresses. Check your body to see where you are holding tension, and then release all the tension and all the stresses from your mind and body. Lower your shoulders and stretch those muscles downward. Pull your shoulders back and stretch your neck up as you turn your head to the left, hold for a moment, return to center, turn to the right, hold for a moment, return to center, and then relax. Relax all of your muscles throughout your entire body. Take a deep breath, all the way into your lower lungs and belly and then exhale forcefully through your mouth. Allow your mind to become still and quiet as your muscles continue to relax. Everywhere in your mind ... your body ... and your emotions, you experience a feeling of being totally calm and at peace. If any thoughts slip into your mind, allow them to drift away, high into the sky like a balloon. As you continue to relax and carry out your activity, form a clear picture in your mind of what you choose to manifest. Relax and allow the images to flow as if you are watching a movie or engaged in a daydream. (long pause) Take in a deep and satisfying breath, filling your lungs all the way down to your stomach. As you release the breath, your body feels totally calm, loose and relaxed. Focus only on the repetitive movements of your activity and the images and feelings of your visualization. Concentrate on the images and feel them with your body and your emotions. Hold the images and the feelings in your thoughts. Concentrate all of your attention, intention, and energy on the images and the feelings of what you are creating. Take in another deep breath, hold it a few moments, and release any tensions as you exhale. Allow yourself to relax further. If any everyday thoughts have slipped in, allow them to drift away. Remind yourself that right now there is nowhere else to go and nothing else to do but focus on this vision and do this activity. Concentrate all of your mental and emotional faculties on your intention and your vision. Continue to relax fully as you see your vision in its totality ... exploring, seeing, and feeling all of the varied aspects, phases, and expressions of your vision. (long pause) Continue to relax, concentrate, and take your time. Take in a deep breath, exhale, and focus your mind, your feelings, and your will on your intention. (long pause) Play the images in your mind for as long as you can or as long as you have time. When it is time to return, stop your activity and gently return to your ordinary wakeful consciousness. Take a few moments to notice what you feel with all your senses, thoughts, and emotions. You don't have to do anything with these feelings; just notice them. Become aware of what remains the same and of any changes that you may sense. Journal your thoughts and feelings, fully expressing yourself as deeply and openly as possible.

The following personal stories illustrate the power of adding visualization to your daily selfhealing practice and may give you some ideas about creating effective visualizations. You will notice a common thread in these stories; each person uses visualization a few moments periodically

throughout the day, every day, in addition to their preset self-healing practice time. They know the power of the statement: "What you give energy to, you give life to." They have been willing to give attention to their visions and have been rewarded with powerful manifestations. HEALING INSIGHTS Sally, a receptionist in a doctor's office, attended the Inner Power workshop to learn what she could do to augment the allopathic medical treatments she was receiving for nearly constant muscular pain and urinary tract irritation and infections, both common symptoms of fibromyalgia. Sally was reluctant to try to self-record tapes because she didn't like the raspiness of her voice, so she purchased the guided visualization tape that leads the listener to their Sacred Healing Medicine Place exercise on one side and Releasing Stress, Tension, and Blockages on the other. Sally was amazed at how much these visualizations relieved her pain, so she began using the tape every morning and night, adding her own visualizations. She talked to her bladder, urethra, and muscles, asked them to tell her why they were irritated, listened to the messages from her inner wisdom, and then asked her inner healer to give her a healing while she visualized the pain and spasms calming and relaxing. She visualized any blockages being released and the life-force energy flowing through her muscles, organs, and her whole body periodically throughout the day. Months later, she called to say that she was so much better she had discontinued use of the musclerelaxing medications that she had been taking. HEALING INSIGHTS Suzi, an attorney, wife, and parent of three children, was facing a crisis when I first met her. She was a Girl Scout leader, children's soccer coach, and member of the PTA in addition to her full-time fortyplus-hours-a-week career. Suzi's nonstop "busy-ness" had weakened her immune system, and she was catching every illness that went around. Suzi complained that it seemed as if she was always sick, and she had grown frustrated with the frequent doctor visits, antibiotic treatments, and recurring hospitalizations for pneumonia or bronchitis. She felt cold and fatigued all the time and had begun to experience panic attacks. Suzi signed up for the Inner Power workshop after her doctor diagnosed her with immune suppression, telling her she needed to reduce her stress. Suzi immediately identified guided visualization as her tool of choice. She began using her favorite guided visualizations, Manifesting Your Natural Perfect Health and Activate Your Internal Wisdom and Healer, alternately every morning. Suzi told me that these visualizations form short snippets in her mind that she recalls and uses as affirmations throughout the day to reinforce her healing and energy flow. At bedtime she does the Sacred Healing Medicine Place exercise to help her heal, relax, and fall asleep. Suzi is thrilled to report greatly reduced ailments, doctor visits, antibiotic treatments, and no hospitalizations in the past five years since she began her self-practice of relaxation/visualization therapy. HEALING INSIGHTS

Dawn is a dynamic woman who is a nurse at a large local hospital, where she met and fell in love with her life partner, Rea. Some years later Rea was diagnosed with cancer, and at the time they attended my training Rea was in a great deal of pain and was losing her battle with cancer. The following letter from Dawn explains what happened and how visualization techniques were helpful for her. She writes: Dear Colleen. Your letter does find me well ... traveling down the path of life in a spiral direction. I do want to start out by saying that Rea crossed over to Spirit in February 2002. What a great gift I was given to participate in her death dance. So now I'm on a path of self-discovery. Here's a little of my story. I signed up for the class you offered because I knew the journey with Rea would require much energy and I needed to pull not only from myself, but from the "Universe." I also realized I needed to stay "healthy." Meditation and visualization struck a chord in me, so I signed up. The practices that I took from the class enabled me to increase my inner strength and build a strong connection to Spirit. That gave me the power to walk in balance through Reds illness. There are two techniques that I use on a regular basis. The first is the chakra meditation/visualization. I do that exercise with my "jogging." It really keeps me in balance with the world. The other is the journey to my "medicine place." It is the "safe" place I could go to and drink up the stillness allowing soul healing. So, the practices I was shown played a role in my personal growth yesterday and today. So, Colleen, there's a bit of my story. I know my Spirit helpers were looking out for me when I signed up for the class. Love, Dawn.

"Seeing" is believing. If your mind can "see" it, your body will believe it.

The technique of visualization is a basic skill that is the springboard for many applications. This next series of highly effective energy-healing exercises uses visualization and intention to move energy into and through the body for healing purposes.

A healthy body is filled with a force that is vibrant, dynamic and constantly interacting with the world. `Aura Borealis"

Energy healing seems unusual and perhaps even mysterious to the modern Western world, although it has been practiced globally since the dawn of humankind. In fact, many current methods of treatment, such as acupuncture and Reiki, are based on the healing power of moving energy through the body. Quantum physics tells us that the entire universe, and everything in it, is made up of energy. Therefore, we know that the human body is made up of energy as well. Energy healing entails using this universal life-force energy that already exists around us to re-ignite, power-fill, and move our own energy. According to Barbara Brennan, author of Hands of Light "The Human Energy Field is the manifestation of universal energy that is intimately involved with human life. It can be described as a luminous body that surrounds and interpenetrates the physical body, emits its own characteristic radiation, and is usually called the aura." Throughout history, shamans, mystics, psychics, and intuitives have been able to see this energy and describe it as a radiant haze around the body. This energy body, or spirit body, is associated with heat and appears like flames or heat waves around a person. Individuals with strong connections to spiritual lifeforce power have pronounced personal

energy that radiates brightly from their energy field. This is why depictions of avatars, saints, and spirit beings, such as angels and guides, typically have halos encompassing their heads. We all have halos, although the intensity varies based on our ability to build and maintain this personal energy. The physical manifestation of the energy or spirit body can be visibly witnessed with Kirlian photography and other sensitive scientific instruments, but rather than talk about energy from a scientific perspective, let me point out ways in which you may already be aware of energy. Most of us know the "good vibes, bad vibes" designation of what we feel when we are around certain people or in certain places. We say things like, "This place feels warm and comfortable," or "You could cut the tension with a knife." This is energy that we are sens ing, the energy of people, places, animals, and spirits. All things vibrate, and this vibration is felt and read by our energy systems. Likewise, we send out energy vibrations that others feel and read. This energy exchange is clear when you consider your responses to meeting someone that you instantly don't like or are instantly attracted to. The effect is like a magnetic push or pull, repelling or attracting. This response does not happen in your head from thought; it occurs in the senses of your body's "aura." Awareness of energy is a difficult thing to comprehend at first. You may need to develop your responsiveness skills and use all of your senses to feel the subtle energies. This takes practice. Begin by trying this exercise in energy play. With palms open and hands relaxed, rub your hands together. After doing this for a few moments, slowly pull them apart, really sensing what you feel. Do you feel the heat and pull of the energy? It may feel rather sticky, making it subtly harder to pull apart. You may also feel the pulsing and vibrating of the energy. Another exercise is to hold one hand palm up and draw circles about a half an inch above the palm using the index finger of the other hand, not touching the palm. Can you feel heat or a tingling outline of the circle? The energy-moving exercises described in this chapter are designed to facilitate this same flow of energy throughout your entire body. You may feel the powerful energy right away as you perform these exercises, or it may take time and practice for you to begin to notice an increase in awareness and ability to tangibly feel energy. Once energy sensitivities evolve, it becomes possible to harness the power of universal energy to send out effective prayers and to consciously bring this life force into the body for self-healing and fortification. When learning about energy, an important question to consider is, "If we are all made of energy, why then do so many of us have so little of it?" The answer is simple. We really aren't aware of energy, our own or the universal life-force energy. We waste our energy, we give away our energy, we block our energy, and we don't know how to access energy. Selfhealing requires that you become aware of your personal use of energy and the places where your energy is leaking or drained away. As each of the most common energy-draining issues are addressed in the next few pages, be open to discovering your personal leaks and drains so you can begin to fortify your energy reservoir.

Wasting energy is a major source of fatigue and ill health in our society. We buzz around like busy little bees, living our lives without awareness of where our energy goes. We only know that we are exhausted most of the time, and, if we are ill on top of that, the effects of energy loss are profound. I became aware of this understanding through my own healing of CFIDS/fibromyalgia because, like many people, I was never taught anything about energy use, other than my mom reminding me to turn the lights off when I left the room! A clairvoyant person or a good woodsman tracker sees the energy traces we leave behind. Everywhere we go we leave a little residual energy trace. To illustrate, during some of my shamanic training we did an exercise where the students were to go into an altered state of consciousness and go out on the property of the retreat center. We were instructed to walk around and find the teacher, who would physically stay in the meeting room, but would project herself energetically out onto the grounds. Not only did the students find the energy of the teacher in specific places in her present adult form, we also found her playing in specific places as a child. At first, this was confusing until our teacher recalled that this retreat center had been a summer camp that she had attended as a child. We were seeing the residual traces of her presence from many years ago. So, we can see that even in simple, ordinary situations we leave a little residual energy in our wake. In stressful situations, we leave more energy. When we feel strong emotions, we emit a lot of energy. When we struggle and strain to survive, we lose energy. This is natural and not a detriment. The detriment comes when we lose too much energy and are not able to replenish it. When we deal with a constant barrage of stressors and responsibilities (even positive ones), we become drained. When this draining goes on for long periods of time without respite, we become physically exhausted. This exhaustion leaves us vulnerable to more loss of energy, and we are not as strong as usual. As the losses compound, our life force gradually diminishes and our natural defenses weaken. We become unable to prevent leakage of the personal energy that protects us from foreign invaders, such as viruses, bacteria, cancer cells, and energy bombardment from others. Constant, unreplenished energy loss continually weakens the immune system, and this depletion allows illness and disease to set up camp without much resistance. It's like rushing in to fight another battle still wounded from the last one. We are not as strong and fast as before, and this makes us vulnerable to more wounding. This is how many illnesses and diseases take hold, and this is why many ail ments are actually imbalances caused from power loss. If we don't stop wasting energy and if we don't refill with essential life force, we keep re-wounding ourselves and never healing our immune systems. It is of primary importance that we be conscious and aware of where we are spending our energy. Look over your day, your activities, and your internal world of thoughts and emotions, noticing where you spend your energy. Is that really where you want to spend it? Become mindful about the things you do, the emotions you feel, and the thoughts you think. My shamanic friend Stephanie once shared a code that I have adopted. "What you give energy to, you give life to." Sound familiar? This principle can be applied to anything. Explore what this means to you. To me, it means if we give energy to worry and negativity, we give life to those things, allowing them to thrive in our world. Our thoughts

and energy focus invite these nasty characters in to take us for a ride. In any situation, instead of worrying and focusing on the scary "what ifs," if you focus on prayer and positive outcome, you have at the very least changed your response to one less stressful for your body. In doing so, you invite the good things in life to come to you. If you give energy to being sick, you give life to being sick. With this awareness, you can choose to change what you give energy to by watching your thoughts, prioritizing responsibilities, and honoring your body with daily self-healing disciplines instead of wasting energy on needless worries and negative thoughts. In this way, you can save and direct your energy toward enjoying and fully living life. It's helpful to print out this code: "What you give energy to, you give life to" (mine is superimposed on a tranquil mountain scene), and hang it around your house to remind yourself daily of your choice to manifest the life you want. I strongly suggest sitting in quiet contemplation with this concept of energy loss. Use the practices of the Truth Spot exercise or connecting with the wisdom of your soul-self to gain insight on how and where you may be leaking energy. Are there places, situations, or people in your life that drain your energy? If so, thoroughly explore these. Are there ways to limit the amount of energy spent? Can you modify your energy expenditures to include healthy practices for yourself that will replenish, rather than deplete, your energy reserves? Often we are not aware of how much personal energy we willingly give to others. When family or friends ask for help, we willingly open our heart and soul, unconsciously transferring our personal energy to them. We are not aware that we are giving them our valuable life-force energy, nor are they aware that they are receiving it. Most people also don't realize that we are not able to use another's energy for very long. The only truly valuable energy is our own or the universal life force, so depleting oneself for the sake of others helps no one. It's wonderful to help others, but do so in ways that can really help them, like teaching them to connect with their own energy. A perfect example of this was a situation that happened to Judy. Judy is a very talented psychic healer who worked with me early in my development of this path of self-actualization and self-healing. For forty-plus years, Judy has been helping people become awake, aware, alive, and to grow and heal using her multitudes of astounding psychic gifts. The way her talent works is that she "looks into" her client to find the source of their problem and then "reaches in" energetically to draw it out to help them become aware and able to address it. Over time, Judy began to notice debilitating physical symptoms that caused her to suffer terribly. Try as she might, she could not determine the cause of her problems. She eventually brought this up to me and, working together, we discovered the nature of her problems. The great blessing and curse of Judy's talent was that when she "looked into" a client, then "reached into" them, she had to link with them energetically and exist inside of their personal energy environment for varying periods of time. That was, and is, a necessary part of her healing abilities. What Judy failed to do was to completely disengage from her clients after her work was done. She was unwittingly keeping an energetic doorway open to her clients through

which she was being drained by them. In essence, Judy was taking on the energy-body burdens of literally hundreds of people over time or, at the very least, was having her personal energy wicked off by many of them. It took a horrible toll on her. Because her psychic gift was a natural one, Judy had not received formal training to protect her energy body and completely break the connection with her clients. Once this was established, she easily employed some of the protection techniques described later in this chapter. They will work equally well for you. The reason I use this story to illustrate my point is to show that even the most aware and gifted among us are susceptible to having our energy bled away. Just as it was my honor to guide Judy in self-protection, you need to teach those around you how to manifest their own energy, perhaps by using the energy-replenishing exercises we will explore soon or by building on strengths they already possess. Be aware of what your energy is doing when you are trying to help someone. Consciously keep your personal energy to yourself with focus and intent. Often those who come to us for help (except in the healing professions) really don't want us to fix them, they just want us to listen. They don't want or need our energy; they just want our attention and understanding. Conversely, there are those individuals who do want our energy. In my experience, they come in two categories. There are those who are wounded and go around sucking up the energy of others in an attempt to fill themselves with good vibrations. Then there are those who bear strong hatred or jealousies and whose strong emotions knock life-force energy out of their perceived enemy. Both of these types can drain energy unknowingly or knowingly from their objects of focus. The power of the mind and emotion is incredible and reaches far beyond the awareness of the general public. We all have people in our lives that leave us feeling drained and powerless after spending time with them. We are not aware that they are knowingly or unknowingly sucking us dry of our vital life force. For lack of a better term, they are "energy vampires." Whether attempting to fill themselves with our healing energy or trying to destroy us with their malice toward us, the effect is the same energy drain that results in power loss. The first step in protecting our precious energy is awareness. We must protect our treasured commodity of energy through focus and intent. In other words, we mentally employ our will to keep our energy with us. When we are filled with powerful energy, we are protected and strong energetically. Some people also find benefit from setting up "energy protection shields," whereby they encircle themselves in white light, a cobalt-blue egg, a pink circle of love, a swirling spiral of rainbow colors, or a circle of mirrors. I've heard of many variations and all are effective given one constant: that the person setting them up does so with disciplined focus. Randomly thinking you are protected is far different from consciously feeling the tangible energy surrounding you. To accomplish the desired degree of protection, you must go beyond just thinking it; you must use the techniques you've learned to focus and manifest it. For example, if you choose the wall of mirrors protection shield, visualize and tangibly feel yourself surrounded by the wall of mirrors that fully encompasses you, around, over,

and under. The mirrors face out so the energy that is being directed toward you from another is reflected and goes back to the sender. You may feel that it is harsh to send the energy back to the source, but this can actually help the sender to become aware of what they are doing, especially if it is an unconscious attack. If it is a conscious attack, then they are getting a dose of their own medicine. If you choose the cobalt-blue egg protection shield, visualize and tangibly feel yourself surrounded by an impenetrable cobalt-blue egg of energy. The energy should appear in your mind's eye to be of even thickness all around you, making sure that you have spread the energy over your head and under your feet. Your energy is contained within the egg, so an energy thief is unable to extract it, and any attack is unable to reach you through the energy barrier. Choose one of these protection shields now and experiment with putting it around yourself. Close your eyes, take in a deep breath, and allow yourself to become quiet. Feel yourself melt into the chair as you inhale and exhale deeply several times. With mindful focus and intention, think to yourself, "I am placing the shield of protection around me." Allow your thoughts to soften and become aware of all of your senses. Become aware of your powerful personal energy circulating in your center, see it, feel it, sense it. Now hold it and keep it in your center as you sense, see, or feel the powerful energy of your shield around you. Mindfully focus your attention on the shield. Use all of your mind to sense the shield. Notice what you are thinking. Use all of your senses to experience the shield, see the energy and any color(s), feel the energy and any color(s), tangibly sense the energy and the color(s) around you. Now hold that in place with your intention. Make a mental note about how your energy appears, how your energy feels, and what your shield looks and feels like for future reference. This will make it easy to bring it back into existence again quickly whenever you need it. If you have time, experiment with some or all of the other options. Another form of energy loss is blocked energy. We know from science that energy is constantly moving and vibrating. Therefore, we know that in a healthy body, energy would be flowing and moving. Illness, disease, and pain are the manifestations in the body of energy that is congested or no longer moving. This stagnant, blocked, or stuck area impedes the natural flow of life-force energy through the body, thus reducing the amount of energy available for use. This can happen in a multitude of ways. The most common in my experience is storing issues and emotions in our bodies. When we don't address and process our issues and the emotions associated with them, we carry them around energetically. As we repress these piggyback energies, they eventually find ways to manifest as aches, pains, ill ness, depression, or anxiety. A typical example is that many of us have achy necks or shoulders during times of stress. This is a place many of us hold tension, causing us to feel as if we are "carrying the weight of the world upon our shoulders." It is no wonder that many of the diagnostic trigger points of fibromyalgia are found here. We store a lot of emotion in our bodies as we struggle through life. In Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life, chapter 15 consists of a list of illnesses, aches, and pains along with their mental/emotional cause, and affirmations to help release these. If you are struggling with insight into your physical manifestations of emotions, I highly suggest this

book. You can also discover the emotions yourself by relaxing your mind, going into alpha consciousness, and sitting with your pain. Allow it to speak to you. In the quiet stillness of your being, the physical messages will seep up through your soul into your consciousness. The healing techniques of Reiki, from the Japanese words Rei, meaning "universal," and Ki, meaning "vital life-force energy," and acupuncture are two techniques that identify and treat blockages by increasing energy flow in the bodies of living beings. You can accomplish the same objective using visualization to activate the flow of life-force energy through your body. The first powerful blockage-clearing exercise is to use your visualization powers to imagine a "White Spirit Sheet," like a bedsheet, below you. Slowly and mindfully, bring this sheet up through your body, raising it up way over your head as if you are sifting yourself through the pores in the cloth. See and feel all the darkness and congestion being pulled out of your body and energy field as the sheet passes through you. Release the sheet and its contents to Spirit for transformation. Repeat three times. This is a great way to energetically clear your self. Another way to clear away unwanted energy is called "Brushing the Energy Field." Making sweeping motions with your hands just over the surface of your body, brush away any accumulated debris from your auric field. Try this now, and experiment with how it feels. If you are aware and able to feel your energy, it might feel tingly or like a gentle combing. Sometimes this feels familiar and nurturing, like a cat bathing itself. It may also feel foreign or heavy if there is a lot of energy to move or this is a new experience for you. Even though this appears to be an external energy-moving exercise, do not be surprised if you also feel energy movement deep within your body. Remember, our natural state is harmony, balance, and health. Our body and soul will try to achieve that with every little step we take toward self-healing whether that is our intention or not. Another effective and really simple way to clear unwanted energy is to literally shake it off, like a dog shakes its coat, or to move around. This action activates stagnant energy by getting it moving. This is one of the many reasons that exercise is so beneficial. By taking just a few moments out of your day to stand up and move around or to shake off wherever you are, you can move energy that will help to clear blockages before they are allowed to form or become stagnant. The Rainbow Waterfall of Universal Healing Energy exercise is another energy-clearing exercise that uses creative visualization to cleanse energetic congestion from the body. Begin by standing with your feet hip distance apart, arms down at your sides. Close your eyes, take in a deep breath, and relax. Imagine that you are standing in a calm, shallow pool of crystal clear water in a beautiful tropical location. To your left and right, steep mountainsides climb toward the sky, covered in lush, green vegetation. From the top of the mountain, a gentle, warm waterfall sparkling with droplets of rainbow prisms cascades down onto and around your body. The soft, colorful water penetrates into your energy field and body, washing away blockages and congestion as it flows down through you, into the pool,

and away from you down a small, trickling stream that sparkles in the sunlight. Tangibly feel and fully sense the energy of the waterfall flow in through the top of your head and glide down through your face, back of your head, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, back, torso, stomach, lower back, legs, knees, ankles, feet, and move out through the bottom of your feet into the pristine pool. Breathe deeply, relax, and feel the warm, soothing energy cleanse and heal you. This is very powerful to perform periodically throughout the day to keep yourself energetically clean, and it is particularly effective anytime that you are taking a "real" shower. Another exercise that is particularly effective for clearing unwanted energy from a connection and/or an attachment with another person is the Cord Cutting exercise. Relax, and take in a deep breath. Close your eyes and visualize an empty screen. Place yourself on the left and the other person on the right separated by the symbol of infinity (looks like a sideways eight). Allow this picture to fully form in your mind. You may begin to see or feel the energetic cords that stretch between the two of you across the symbol. Imagine a pair of golden scissors and cut these energetic cords. Feel and see that they are cut solidly. You may be guided to do additional steps, such as cauterize the cords or lower a steel wall between the two of you. This exercise does not end your relationship with the other person, but brings it into a place where it can become more healthy by cutting the karmic, codependent, and dependent ties. This allows both of you to be independent and your relationship to be free and healthy. Occasionally these cords are strong ties that may return if permanent sealing measures were not taken, so repeating this exercise is recommended if symptoms persist. It is not usual that energy connections with others or physical manifestations of any of our issues are deeply imbedded and difficult to affect. When this becomes apparent, I recommend using the "Spirit of Fire" to transform. This is effective in several ways. The first is to write a letter. This letter can take many different forms. One way is to write to your self about the manifestation of pain or illness. Another is to write the letter to the illness and pain directly expressing your emotions to it. Yet another way is to write the letter to the other person involved if your manifestation involves another. These letters should be noholds-barred, blatant, honest expressions of your emotions including anger, hatred, whatever you are feeling, without regard for spelling, punctuation, or profanity. No one will read these letters. Leave no rock unturned. Once written, burn the letter. Watch and feel as the words go up in flames of transformation. Feel your mind and emotions fully release the situation into Spirit. Now take in a deep breath, relax, and sit with the situation or physical manifestation you wrote about. Feel it, be with it, and listen to the messages that it brought to you. Then ignite the Spirit of Fire in your own body through the inner flame of your life force that resides in your solar plexus. Visualize and feel your inner flame. Nurture the flame and cause it to grow with your intention. Feel the heat in your center. Expand the flame into the affected areas of your body and allow it to burn through the congested energy. See the residual energy leave your body like puffs of smoke. When all the energy has been transformed, reduce the flame to fit inside of your center, feel it glowing there, take in a deep breath, relax, and notice how you feel.

Power Filling with Energy When addressing self-healing from an energy standpoint, it is important to become aware of whether or not you are accessing energy and replenishing your life force. Of course, you are going to experience stress, struggle, and life-draining challenges. Not all energy loss can be prevented, so you must learn how to fuel up again. If you are a person who burns a lot of energy, then you need to fuel up regularly and powerfully throughout the day. Unfortunately, most of us are never taught how to access this kind of energy nourishment, so we struggle along low on energy or only partially refueling on the little things we do for ourselves. The following exercises not only help replenish with energy that heals, they also build protection from energy loss. When we are energy-filled, we are strong and powerful. From this place of power, when faced with life challenges, we will be better suited to handle them. We will be connected in life force, creating internal strength to handle the outside struggles. If you perform the following exercises at least once per day, more if you can, you will be doing yourself a great refueling favor! "Opening and Connecting with the Chakra Energy Centers" of the body is a powerful exercise in recognizing and filling with energy. The major chakra energy centers circle through and around the body, moving up from the torso to the head. The first chakra, also referred to as the base, or root chakra, is located at the base of the torso, behind and beneath the genitals in the groin area. It is associated with our will to live and our quantity of physical energy. Correlating organs are the adrenal glands, spinal column, and kidneys. The second chakra, or sacral chakra, is located in the abdomen just above the pubic bone and encircles the hips. It is associated with quality of love and quantity of sexual energy. Correlating organs are the reproductive system. The third chakra, or the solar plexus, is located in the center of the torso above the navel and below the rib cage, circling around to the center of the back and around again to the front. It is associated with pleasure, spiritual wisdom, and being in the center of one's universe. Correlating organs are the pancreas, stomach, gallbladder, and nervous system. The fourth chakra, or heart chakra, is located in the rib cage at the heart, circling around between the shoulder blades and back around to the heart. It is associated with love, compassion, and our actions in the physical world. Correlating organs are the thymus, heart, vagus nerve, and circulatory system. The fifth chakra, or throat chakra, encircles the neck. It is associated with one's sense of self, voice in the world, and responsibility for self. Correlating organs are the throat, thyroid, and lungs. The sixth chakra, or the third eye, is located in the forehead just above between the eyes and rings the head. It is associated with visualization and mental understanding. Correlating organs are the pituitary, lower brain, ears, and nose. The seventh chakra, or the crown chakra, is on top of the head. It is associated with one's connection to spirituality and integration of one's whole being. Correlating organs are the pineal gland and upper brain. The Chakra Opening-Connecting exercise involves focusing all of your attention on each chakra at a time, for several minutes. Beginning with your root chakra, place all of your concentration on this

area of your body for a few minutes. Close your eyes, relax, and try to feel any physical sensations or emotions that are there. It may help you to place your hands on this area of your body to help hold your attention. Relax and focus. Connect with whatever is happening in this location of your body. Now move your body around a little bit to change your focus and move your attention to the second chakra. Again, relax and try to feel any physical sensations or emotions that are there. Place your hands on your body if it helps your concentration, and connect with whatever is happening in this location of your body. When you feel ready, move a bit to change your focus and place your attention on the third chakra. Continue this pattern through all seven chakras, relaxing and feeling any physical sensations or emotions that are present. Common sensations felt by doing this exercise are an increase in body temperature, euphoria, mental relaxation, and physical energy. The Rainbow Fountain of Energy exercise entails drawing in energy from the earth and the universal source above and moving it through the entire body. Begin by standing with your feet hip distance apart, arms down at your sides. Close your eyes and take in a deep breath. Keep breathing deeply throughout the exercise using the breath and your intention to draw in and move the energy. Allow yourself to relax, perhaps slip into alpha if you choose. Place your attention on the soles of your feet and the crown of your head. Feel the strong, grounding energy of the earth slowly moving up your feet and legs to the location of your base chakra at the point where your legs meet your body. Simultaneously, feel the universal life-force energy from above melting in through the top of your head and flowing down into your root chakra. Where these two energies meet, see the chakra ignite with a deep, vibrant red energy. See that red ball of energy grow and expand, becoming a radiant source of glowing, ruby-red light that begins to saturate all of the tissues in your body. See this light soaking into your abdomen, chest, head, and out your arms, bathing organs, muscle, blood, and bone until your entire body becomes a great neon beacon of this light. After a few moments, allow that ruby energy to recede once again back to its home in your base chakra, where it continues to glow and spin brightly. Now draw the earth energy from below up to the second chakra in your sacral area. Simultaneously, draw down the universal life-force energy from above your head until it reaches your sacral chakra. The two energies combine, spin, and glow here with a bright orange light. As before, stir this energy and expand it throughout your body, saturating every cell with this orange, regenerative light. Once again, after a few moments, shrink the light back to its home in your second chakra where it continues to spin and glow a brilliant orange. Use this same technique for the deep gold energy of your solar plexus chakra, for the emerald green of your heart chakra, for the azure blue of your throat chakra, for the deep purple of your third eye chakra, and for the pale violet of your crown chakra. Each time, draw the earth energy up and the universal energy down to create the characteristic spectral light of each chakra. Take the time to permeate your entire being with each of the energies before moving on to the next.

When all seven chakras have been energized, continue to see them spinning and glowing in each of their locations. See also the swirling bright white of the universal life force above your head. Allow the bright light above and the varied chakra energies within you to run out and down the left side of your body. Circulate this rainbow of energy to your feet, and then back up the right side of your body. As it moves around and through you, see the rainbow saturating, bathing, and cleansing all of your cells. Now see this rainbow energy move from the top of your head, down the front of your body, and up your back again to the top of your head. Continue to circulate the energy left around right and front around back, washing and penetrating all of your tissues. Now draw this rainbow energy up from between your feet, through your center, and out the top of your head like a fountain. As the energy exits your head, see it as rainbow droplets that cascade out to the limits of your aura and down again to your feet. As these rainbow droplets mist through your auric field, see your aura cleansed and refreshed by the movement of this energy. Continue this until the limits of the luminous egg that is your energy field has been completely energized, and keep this rainbow fountain flowing as long as you need to by maintaining the focus of your attention on the energy movement. This exercise leaves one feeling whole, centered, and energized. There is no need to shut down the circulating energies around and through you. When you are finished, take a deep breath and open your eyes, feeling cleansed and energyfilled. Energy in motion tends to stay in motion, so the benefits of this exercise continue long after you have finished it. The Reiki Boost is an exercise I adapted from A Torch in Daylight by Karyn Mitchell. Although this is devised for those with Reiki training, I believe we all have the ability to access universal energy to some extent even without training and attuning. Begin by entering into alpha state, and relax. Ask Spirit to come in and help you access energy. Place your open palms down, hands just above the top of your head. Hold this position while focusing the power of your mind on the color violet, open to feeling and receiving energy. After a few moments move your hands down to cover your third eye (forehead) and the back of your head. Hold, focus on the color indigo, feel, and receive the energy. Move to your throat center, placing your hands just above the body in the front and back of your neck. Hold, focus on the color blue, feel, and receive. Move to your heart center, placing both of your hands on your chest. Hold, focus on the color green, feel, and receive. Move to the solar plexus, placing your hands on the center of your being. Hold, focus on the color yellow, feel, and receive. Move to the spleen center, placing your hands on your abdomen. Hold, focus on the color orange, feel, and receive. Move to the root center, placing your hands just above the body of your genital area and derriere. Hold, focus on the color red, feel, and receive. In a movement called "Up Energy," take your hands to the floor and sweep up the energy of the earth with your hands open, fingers together, palms facing your body. Bring your hands all the way up your body from the floor to above your head while visualizing rainbow colors. Feel and receive the energy flow. Those with knowledge of the seven major chakras of the body will recognize that these positions and colors correspond. Hara Line Energy Flow is an exercise written in detail in Diane Stein's book Essential Reiki. This is

a brief, workable summation. This exercise is a discipline of moving life-force energy through the energy channels of the body also known in India as "Opening the Kundalini." Begin by placing your attention on your solar plexus or navel, also called the Hara. When warmth builds (this is energy), move the warmth with mindful intent to the root center behind and beneath the genitals, then up into the spinal cord resting at the kidney point. Raise the energy slowly up the spine to the top of the head. Follow the energy flow without forcing it. Hold. Direct the energy flow down to the third eye (forehead), then flow it back down to the navel. Repeat this circle several times. When proficient, add in the arms and legs. From the navel, direct the energy flow to the root center, dividing it into two channels, and sending the energy down the backs of the legs to the soles of the feet, resting there, drawing in earth energy. Once warm, move the energy to the big toes, then up the front of the legs to the shins, knees, and thighs and back to the root center. Return the flow up the spine and then divide it into two channels at the point between the shoulder blades. Send energy down the insides of the arms to the middle of the palms. Hold. Direct the energy down to the middle finger and back out along the backside of the arms, returning to the heart area where the energy flows to the head, forehead, and back to the navel. Repeat several times. Be mindful, notice what you feel. This one really works for me! If you feel nauseous while doing this, take in a deep breath and relax. Move the energy slowly. Practice will increase your body's ability to handle this powerful energy. "Sinking the Chi" is an energy-movement exercise from the practice of t'ai chi. Stand with your feet hip distance apart, arms down at your sides. Relax, soften your face, and soften your eyes. Raise your arms, palms up from your sides in a slow, mindful sweeping motion all the way over your head, gathering in the energy of your surroundings and the universe. Turn your palms down and bring your arms down the front of your body, sinking the energy into your solar plexus and root center. Hold your hands here for a few moments. Repeat in multiples of three. A variation of this is the "Fill with Love" exercise. Perform the exercise described above and as you scoop the energy and bring it into your solar plexus, visualize and feel the love of God or the universal power flowing into you and say out loud "I love me!" Repeat three times. This is a powerful exercise even if self-esteem or self-worth is not an issue for you. The practice of yoga gives us powerful energy-filling exercises using the breath including the "Breath of Fire," and what I call "Chest Energy." To perform the Breath of Fire, sit crosslegged on the floor with your hands resting in your lap. Breathe in to half capacity through your nose using your diaphragm and push your belly out. Exhale quickly and suck in your belly. Inhale and exhale in this manner with no rest in between breaths for one minute. Then relax, breathe normally, and feel the energy. To perform the Chest Energy exercise, sit cross-legged with your spine straight. Stretch your arms out in front of you, shoulder height, with your fingers wide apart and palms facing each other. Breathe long, powerful, deep breaths for several minutes. Then inhale deeply, hold your breath, make fists with your hands, and slowly bring your fists to your chest under maximum tension. Gradually release your breath as your fists touch your chest. Breathe normally, relax, and feel the energy.

A mindful exercise called "Receiving" is a quick energy uptake, similar to a brief relaxation or meditation. Lie down or sit comfortably with palms facing up, ready to receive. Take in a deep breath and allow your mind to relax. Enter into alpha consciousness by counting from one to ten as your mind and body become still and relaxed. Focus your attention on the soles of your feet and consciously draw energy from the earth in through them. Focus and feel the warmth and tingling. Simultaneously focus your attention on your solar plexus and consciously draw in energy from the sun. Focus and feel. Simultaneously focus your attention on the top (crown) of your head and consciously draw in energy from the universal source above. Focus and feel. Tune into all three of these places and feel the energy coming together inside of you. Feel it swirl as it mixes together and mindfully stir it. Spread this delicious mix of earth, sun, and universal energy throughout your body and hold it. Power Filling is another energy exercise that heals as well as protects. Begin by going into alpha state; mindfully bring your awareness to your center and go deep within to your inner self. If you know who your Spirit Guides are, call them in to come be with you. If you don't know your Spirit Guides, call in any masters of your religion, such as Mother Mary, Jesus, Buddha, and/or God, Goddess, Universal Power, Great Spirit, whatever you choose. Connect with these helping Spirits through awareness. Sit quietly and feel their presence. Ask these great powers to fill you with the healing energy of the universe. Feel and receive for as long as you have time. Return from alpha and thank the Spirits. You may have heard the common buzzword "grounding." It is a term used to describe a simple healing technique of reconnecting with the energy of Mother Earth. A common malady of our industrialized world and its shift to modern materialism is our removal from direct living on and with the earth. For most of us, the world in which we live takes us away from our source of balance and connection, nature. In nature, we find solace, our God/Goddess/Great Spirit connection. In a busy duty-filled life, even those of us who live in small towns and in the country have little time to enjoy the natural world which we live. In so doing, we become less connected with the earth force, leaving us feeling energetically unbalanced, "un-Earthed," or "ungrounded." Our energies scatter as we rush about our lives. Our Mother the Earth is under us at all times, sustaining our lives. Most of us have little awareness of Mother Earth and how our lack of connection with her causes us to feel lost, vulnerable, and "dis-eased." The good news is this connection is always there for us and is easy for us to re-tap into. Grounding is the conscious act of reconnecting with Mother Earth energy either by sending our energies into the earth or by drawing her energies up into us. Reconnection equals harmony equals balance equals health! I recommend doing the Grounding Tree exercise daily as part of your set-aside ritual, as well as anytime during the day that you feel scattered, unbalanced, or disconnected. It is especially powerful to practice this outdoors if you can, but equally effective indoors. Stand with your feet hip distance

apart, arms down at your sides. Relax into alpha state. Feel the soles of your feet opening to the earth. Imagine roots growing out of the bottom of your feet, going deep into the earth. Feel the earth, the many layers, temperature changes, and the texture of the soil as it changes down through the layers. Feel your roots going deep down through the water table and beyond to the core depths of the earth. Breathe in deeply of the energy from Mother Earth. Bring this energy up through your feet and legs into your torso, imagining it to be the trunk of your tree. Feel the earth energy mingle with your tree essence. Now raise your hands, palms up to Father Sky. Imagine your arms to be branches gathering in the energy of the universe. Feel that energy come down into your trunk and mingle and mix with your tree essence and earth energy. Breathe deeply, feel deeply. Honor the connection. Thank the universe for all of creation. Thank the earth for sustaining life. Thank the trees for bridging them both. Feel that you are that bridge connected to all of life. Centering is another powerful healing technique that brings you into balance. Often our energies are scattered, causing us to feel anxious and out of balance. When we stay "uncentered" for too long, we leak energy and begin to feel tired. "Centering" brings all of your energy back home into your body. Take in a deep breath, close your eyes, and relax your mind and body. Enter into the alpha state of consciousness and feel yourself fully relax. Physically reach your arms out into the air from your sides, sweep them up over your head, use the powerful intention of your mind to gather in your energy and awareness and pull these down into your head and into your center by drawing your arms down the front of your body, bringing your hands to rest on your solar plexus. Repeat three times. Combination Exercises are a powerful way for you to individualize your power-filling regimen. By combining any of the exercises described here or that you may have already been practicing, you can fill with energy on a very deep level. For example, one of my advanced shamanism students, Brenda, was shown during a journey that she should sweep her energy field to gather in her scattered energy, using the Sinking the Chi exercise to bring it into her body and the Grounding Tree exercise to ground it fully into her body. Very powerful! Be creative and allow your intuition to be your guide as you experiment and blend the combinations that will be most effective for you. This next exercise, called Betwixt and Between, I learned from my Celtic shamanism teacher, Tom Cowan. For thousands of years the Celts have been visiting the otherworlds of Spirit by mindfully entering cracks and portals in the world that are called betwixt and between. For this exercise, that crack is between a rock and the earth. It is that space where it is the earth, it is the rock, and it is also that space in between. Because it is all three, it is a good place to connect with Spirit. Anyplace that is good to connect with Spirit is also perfect for connecting to one's soul-self. If you can do this exercise outdoors next to a rock, that may make it more real for you. However, since we have the power to send our minds anywhere we wish, it is not necessary to be in the physical proximity of a rock. Relax into alpha state. Imagine the rock sitting on the earth. Hold that image firmly in your mind. Now see and feel the space in between. Allow yourself to go there with mindful intention. Feel the earth, feel the

rock, feel the empty space betwixt and between, feel the space that is all three. Breathe deeply of this energy. Notice your sensations. Is there anyone else there with you? Stay in this place as long as you have time. When you are ready, come back out and fully integrate back into your body. Another excellent way to ground is to journey into the lower world for the purpose of connecting with Mother Earth. You will be introduced to the technique of journeying in chapter 7.

Hopefully, as you have practiced these energy-moving visualizations, you have begun to feel energy and experience the return of harmony and balance to your mind, emotions, body, and soul. The following healing stories are not only testimonials to the power of self-healing with energy movement but may also give you ideas about how to use your visualization skills. Effective energy movement and its use in the removal of blockages is the keystone for all selfhealing work. In fact, many disciplines including the esoteric and Western mystery traditions claim that mastery of the middle pillar exercise, their version of the Rainbow Fountain, used to the exclusion of any other technique, will provide vibrant health and longevity as well as increased spiritual awareness and general emotional well-being. People often ask me what they can do to begin selfhealing or to prepare for my workshops. I always recommend the energy movement techniques described here to get them started. Often people find their attempts at healing, whether by self-healing techniques or external therapies, to be ineffective because the main cause of their illness, constricted energy flow, remains unchanged. Therefore, it is imperative to remove any blockages in the beginning, throughout the healing process, and as an ongoing practice so that healing life-force energy is allowed to freely flow. This is clearly demonstrated in the case of Amber. HEALING INSIGHTS Amber is a high-spirited stay-at-home mom who suffers from debilitating anxiety. Spiritually she is a devout practicing Catholic who has tended to shy away from all things considered "New Age," though she has practiced meditation from time to time. When the anxiety progressed to the point that she became unable to meditate or sleep well and as she became aware that she was short and biting with her husband and young children, she made an appointment with her family physician. After a lengthy discussion they decided to try a regimen of the antianxiety medication Welbutron. When two subsequent increases in the medication did not yield results, Amber instituted a program of eating whole raw foods. She also came to the Inner Power workshop hoping to learn techniques that would help her cope with the anxiety and eventually discontinue the medication. Several years later, Amber attended one of the advanced workshops where she shared her story of healing with the group. After the first workshop she began to routinely perform many of the energy movement exercises, specifically the Rainbow Fountain and the Rainbow Waterfall, several times

throughout the day. She found these the easiest to fit into her busy schedule, and she didn't have to sit and try to quiet her racing mind with techniques that usually left her feeling more anxious and frustrated than before. She found that within a few days she had become much more clear thinking and calm. After several weeks, she was more easygoing and accepting of others. She talked about effortlessly coasting through the once-considered tragedies of milk spilling and squabbling children and even became tolerant of her husband's brash and hurtful family. After three months she returned to her doctor to describe her self-healing techniques; they began to phase out the Wel- butron. She still consciously uses the techniques every day throughout the day and also finds that they slip into her mind as a natural part of her thought processes. She no longer needs to take any medication for anxiety. HEALING INSIGHTS Sam is a twenty-seven-year-old computer analyst in Canada. Because of geography and schedule conflicts, Sam participated in the Inner Power workshop online. He recently e-mailed me to share his thoughts. Sam addressed what we often do with our treatments, even our selftreatments, and shows that it is never too late to help yourself. When he first signed up for the training, he was looking for something that would help to heal the emotional wounds he had incurred as a child. At eight years of age, he was diagnosed with leukemia and underwent several years of radical treatment. His hair fell out and he missed months of school. He felt sick often, and when he did feel well, he couldn't play any "rough" sports or activities because he had to avoid injuries and contusions. He was an "outcast" and the brunt of many cruel jokes. The psyche inventory processes (chapter 9) and journeying (chaper 7) helped him to reconcile those painful years. After finishing that process, he put away the techniques of regular mental probing and spiritual nurturing and went about his busy life. His business boomed, he met a funny and inspirational partner, they fell in love and the days flew by. A few years later he was rediagnosed with leukemia. He and his partner were devastated. They felt that they were being robbed of the grand life and love they had just found. Over drinks and tears several nights after that initial shock, his partner asked him how he was cured the first time, so he explained his history in-depth. By the end of the story, he had explained the exploration, reclaiming, and releasing he had experienced with the Psy- the Inventory. Then the forgotten became clear; he had learned many other powerful selfhealing tools at the workshop that he hadn't practiced, but could. He determined right then to give it a shot. He woke up early the next morning and instituted his regimen. He pulled his dusty workshop notebook off the bookshelf and leafed through the pages. He felt cluttered and blocked so the energy movement healing exercises seemed like they might be helpful. He began to clear away years of old baggage with the Rainbow Waterfall and spent most of the rest of the morning trying every exercise

listed. Clear and fully energized, he went to work at his home-based business. Every day for the next two weeks began and ended the same. He did the Rainbow Waterfall, followed by the Rainbow Fountain and the Grounded Tree. Periodically throughout the day, he cleansed himself with the White Sheet and brushed his energy field. He opened his chakras, sunk the chi, ran energy through his Hara line and did the Reiki Boost. At night as he lay in bed, he brought fire into his body to burn out the illness and the fear that crept in during the silent moments. He said he felt like he was a man obsessed, but had nothing to lose. The day finally arrived for his initial appointment with the oncologist. Throughout the intense day of testing, he did energy-moving exercises to fill the emptiness and ease his fears. The doctor came into the room shaking her head with the most unexpected news. There was no leukemia. She couldn't understand it and assumed that the first tests must have been inaccurate. She asked him to come back the next day for another full round of tests, and the results then were the same as the results he gets now when he goes for regular testing. He doesn't have leukemia. He doesn't know if it was because of the techniques or if he was initially misdiagnosed. What he does know is that he is alive, healthy, and feels better than he ever has. So he still does the energy exercises every day, throughout the day, and wanted me to know how important these techniques are to him.

Power-filled equals Powerful!

By now you have experienced visualization to be a helpful tool with a multitude of applications and variations. The next technique, self-hypnosis, takes the technique of visualization one step deeper into the subconscious mind by adding powerful suggestions to achieve balance, harmony, and healing.

A happy life begins with tranquility of mind. " -Cicero Hypnosis has long been associated with the unknown and the mysterious. Its exhibition in sideshows by magicians and "mentalists" causes us to think it borders on the supernatural, or that it might even be a hoax. We've been shown that a hypnotized subject loses control over his actions and is at the mercy of another person. Showmanship and the distorted portrayal of hypnosis in movies and television have caused us to be wary of this beneficial treatment used for decades by healers, dentists, doctors, and mental health therapists. Hypnosis is a method of quieting the conscious critical mind via systematic relaxation to access subconscious recall or to plant suggestions. The practice of hypnotherapy is the use of hypnosis in a controlled therapeutic environment by a trained hypnosis professional. It is commonly used for many healing issues including: trauma, abuse, low self-esteem, anxiety, fears/phobia, stress control, sleeplessness, improved health, memory recall, pain control, creativity enhancement, increased energy, concentration, exam anxiety, inner-child healing, inner guidance, athletic performance, and much more. The altered state of consciousness induced in hypnosis is a natural state that occurs everyday. Experiences, such as daydreaming, gazing into a fire, and being lost in thought while driving, are examples of how the mind naturally experiences trance. In these daily occurrences, as in hypnosis, the mind quiets to the outside world allowing internal focus. Physiologically, the mind relaxes into an alpha brain-wave state while body processes are slowed. Heart rate slows, respiration deepens, and blood pressure lowers. The body and mind are relaxed, allowing tensions to release. This i s not a sleep state, but a state of heightened internal awareness. While in this state, we can access long forgotten experiences, focus healing in our bodies, zero-in on issues, examine causes, find solutions, and eliminate problems. When the conscious critical faculties of our minds are at rest, the subconscious is free to recall and process issues without judgment. In a typical hypnotherapy session, the client is guided into a relaxed alpha brain-wave state by the therapist using an induction that involves relaxation and visualization in a serene and emotionally safe environment. Hypnosis occurs only as deep as an individual feels comfortable so all hypnosis is really self-hypnosis. Even deeply hypnotized individuals are aware and in control. Life experiences are processed at both the conscious (aware) level and the subconscious (beneath) level. The subconscious level stores everything we experience and, although this information may not be available for immediate conscious recall, it is not forgotten. Self-hypnosis is the utilization of hypnosis for self-healing. It is similar to the practice of

visualization, although the intention is placed more specifically on the suggestions given once you have reached the relaxed alpha state of consciousness rather than the induction. Self-hypnosis is easy and entails self-recording a tape with a series of body and mind relaxations, visualizations, and suggestions for healing. I recommend creating expanded versions of the visualizations you have already found helpful. Building on the success of these visualizations, simply add the suggestions that you want for individualized symptom relief and overall healing. Create a warm, comfortable environment with no interruptions, play the tape, and allow yourself to flow with the suggestions. Listening to this tape on a regular basis facilitates even deeper healing. Making your own personal tape is easy. Write out the script of what you want to say and then record it, speaking in a slow, soft monotone, pausing at every punctuation and any other time you feel would be appropriate. Speak slowly and quietly. The object is for you to be lulled into deep relaxation. I recommend adding your self-suggestions to the Universal Induction (page 32) combined with the Sacred Healing Medicine Place Induction below, or follow the succeeding guided self-hypnotic exercises. Sacred Healing Medicine Place Induction Take a few moments to cleanse your energy field using the Rainbow Waterfall Visualization (page 70). After several moments of clearing, allow yourself to soften into deep relaxation using the Universal Induction, and add: As you continue to relax, imagine that you are walking down a path in the woods, feeling light, and connected with nature. It's a beautiful day, filled with soft sunlight, and a warm gentle breeze. A slow and easy, perfect day. As you stroll down this path in the woods, you notice any birds that flit back and forth among the trees. Enjoy your connection with Mother Earth. Breathe deeply of the fresh, forested air. Slowly, as you stroll along the path, the woods open up into a heavenly meadow filled with wildflowers of all colors. You notice the bees, and the butterflies as they flit and float from flower to flower. You slowly meander through this heavenly meadow, feeling calm and connected with Mother Nature. As you continue to stroll down this path through the beautiful meadow, the path comes to a stone stairway, leading down to a large rock archway. There are ten steps in all, and each stone is wide and flat and is easy to step upon. With each number that I count, I'd like for you to mentally take one step down, and with every step you take, you go further, and further into deep relaxation. One, take the first step, two, take the second, three, four, going down deeper and deeper, five, six, more and more relaxed, seven, eight, deeply relaxed, nine, ten, at the bottom and deeply relaxed. As you reach the bottom, you walk underneath the large rock archway, and continue to follow the meandering path. Around the next corner your peaceful, beautiful sacred healing medicine place opens up before you. This is the most magnificent place in all of creation. Take a few moments to explore using all of your senses. Notice that you feel calm and peaceful, safe and protected, serene, and tranquil. This is a place where no one else may enter, without a heartfelt, honest invitation from you. Continue to explore this most extraordinary place using all of your senses. And as you continue

to explore, you are drawn to a safe and protected, soft and comfortable area to sit or lie down and relax. Go to that place. Sit or lie down, and relax. Allow yourself to become totally relaxed. Notice if there is anyone or anything there with you. If there is, you have allowed it to be, and this is your teacher or healer. Ask for wisdom or a healing if you would like, and be open to receiving. (long pause) As you continue to relax, listen to these suggestions and allow the messages to melt into your being. (Place your suggestions here or elaborate on these brief examples.) As you continue to relax, feel your body getting stronger, and more healthy. Feel the strength, and the power returning to your body and soul. You are strong, happy, and healthy. Feel your vibrant inner flame dancing within your center. See and feel yourself full of energy and living life to the fullest. See and feel yourself filled with the energy of the universal life force. The cells of your immune system are fighting off any foreign invaders, easily and effortlessly. You are filled with energy, and passion for life. Your body is warm, and healthy, and growing stronger each moment. You are connected with your own internal wisdom. When you have finished with your suggestions, it is time to begin to return. Take in a deep breath, and allow the suggestions to deepen within your body and soul. Feel the images growing stronger and stronger within you, with every breath that you take, and every beat of your heart. With each passing moment, your essence absorbs the suggestions and the images, and you grow profoundly. Now know that it is time to return. Gently, you mentally rise from your special spot, coming slowly to sitting, then kneeling, and then carefully to standing. You slowly walk through your sacred healing medicine place, breathing deeply of all the powerful energy here. As you reach the large rock archway, you turn to look once more into your beautiful sacred healing medicine place and know that you can return here any time that it is safe and appropriate for you to do so. Gathering one last deep breath of this healing, calm, peaceful power, you step underneath the large rock archway, and begin to ascend the stone stairway with every number that I count from ten to the number one. With every number that I count you become more awake and more alert, being fully awake and alert at the number one. Ten, begin ascending the steps by taking your first step. Nine take the second, eight, seven, six, coming up, five, four, three, becoming more awake, two, one, back in your body, fully awake and alert, and feeling better than you have in a long, long, time. Sit quietly for a few moments and reflect on your experience. Be gentle with yourself as you wiggle and stretch, becoming fully present in your body and conscious mind.

The following self-hypnosis exercises contain powerful self-healing suggestions that you may choose to tape-record for your own healing practice. Feel free to individualize any portion that seems appropriate for your personal needs. Energy Filling, Cleansing, and Pain Reduction

Take a few moments to cleanse your energy field using the Rainbow Waterfall Visualization (page 70). After several moments of clearing, allow yourself to soften into deep relaxation using the Universal Induction (page 32) combined with the Sacred Healing Medicine Place Induction (page 87). Insert these suggestions into the "add your own suggestion" portion of the induction marked with the bold parenthesis like this: (place your suggestions ... ). Breathe deeply and evenly. Let your mind and body completely rest. Set aside all cares. And think only of total relaxation. Total and complete relaxation. Imagine a healing white light just above the top of your head. It flows down into your body through your crown chakra at the top of your head .... flowing down throughout your whole body. The healing white light energy spreads out around you .... and surrounds your entire body creating a healing shield of protection. Healing energy filling and surrounding your entire body. See it on the surface of your skin. Feel its gentle warmth flow through your head. Feel it flow through your head, down through your head, and across your eyes. Feel it melt down through your shoulders, soothing, relaxing, and healing your shoulder muscles. Circulating around your neck, and down your back. Now up your back again into your shoulders and down to your chest. Feel it circulate around your heart, through your lungs, and into your stomach, through your intestines, cleansing and healing. Cleansing and healing over and over again. Healing white energy flowing down through your torso into each leg, moving all the way down through each muscle and cell into your thighs and hamstrings, knees and shins, calves and ankles, feet and toes. The white light is cleansing and healing your whole body. Feel it circulate throughout your body, inside and out, throughout your entire body. Healing and cleansing, healing and cleansing every inch of your body. Every organ, nerve, muscle, and cell of your body. Every organ, nerve, muscle, and cell of your body. Feel it circulate throughout your body. Imagine yourself healthy and strong, healthy, and strong, and vibrant. There's a smile on your face; you feel wonderful, healthy, and strong. Healthy and strong, and this positive image, this health and strength, will become stronger and stronger every day as you become healthier, and stronger, radiant and vibrant. Allow that energy to move through your body. Feel the healing. As you feel the energy moving through your body, check over your body and see if you feel anywhere in your body that you feel any pain. If you do feel any pain, focus your attention on that pain for a moment. Now imagine that your discomfort is a large hot red ball of energy, like the sun. Your pain, your discomfort is a large hot red sun. Now imagine, and watch, as this hot, red sun of energy becomes smaller and smaller. Imagine the color and heat of this sun-like ball beginning to lessen, and lighten. Changing to warm soft pink, softer and softer, cooler and cooler, and shrink, shrink in size. As you watch the sun become smaller, and smaller you will feel less, and less discomfort. The sun grows smaller, and smaller and you feel less, and less discomfort. You begin to feel lighter and better, lighter and better. You feel better as you watch the sun shrink and become lighter. Watch the warm pale pink sun become tiny, tiny, smaller, and smaller. Watch the color change from warm faint pink to cool pale blue. It is now becoming a small cool pale blue dot. A small cool pale blue dot. Now watch it disappear. As it disappears you feel much, much better. You feel better. You feel more comfortable, you feel better, you feel more comfortable, you feel very comfortable,

you feel completely comfortable. You feel wonderful, healthy and strong. You feel wonderful, healthy and strong. You are vibrant and radiant, healthy, and strong. And as you continue to relax, your body is getting stronger, and more healthy. Feel the strength, and the power returning to your body. You are strong, and happy, and healthy. The cells of your immune system fight off any foreign invaders, easily and effortlessly. Your body is filled with energy, power, and passion for life. Your body is warm and healthy and growing stronger each moment. You see yourself strong, and healthy, living life, to the fullest. You are strong, and healthy, and vibrant. It is now time to begin to return. Use the standard return sequence found after the parenthesis near the end of the Sacred Healing Medicine Place Induction (page 87). Sit quietly for a few moments and reflect on your experience. Be gentle with yourself as you wiggle and stretch, becoming fully present in your body and conscious mind. Fatigue Fighter and Immune System Boost Take a few moments to cleanse your energy field using the Rainbow Waterfall Visualization (page 68). After several moments of clearing allow yourself to soften into deep relaxation using the Universal Induction (page 32) combined with the Sacred Healing Medicine Place Induction (page 87). Insert these suggestions into the "add your own suggestion" portion of the induction marked with the bold parenthesis like this: (Place your suggestions ... ). Breathe deep into your belly, and then fully exhale. As you breathe in deeply once again, send the life-force energy of your breath throughout your body to any places that are weak or in pain. Hold the energy there and feel it swirling in and around the blockage, releasing energy, releasing pain, releasing tightness. Feel all of your muscles loosen and relax, loosen and relax. As you continue to relax, inhale a deep breath and bring soothing, healing energy into your lungs. Energy that feels sparkling and light. Feel this warming, soothing, healing energy circulate around and throughout your lungs and enter into your bloodstream. As the energy moves throughout your body via your circulatory system, draw in energy from the earth through the bottom of your feet. A deep red/maroon energy that feels solid and strong like the earth. Feel the energy chakras in your feet open and receive this soothing, healing, grounding energy. As you continue to relax, circulate your breath energy and the earth energy. Now draw in universal life-force energy from above through the top of your head. A light and powerful energy with all the colors of the rainbow swirling within it that electrifies any weakened cells. Feel the crown chakra of your head open and receive this soothing, healing, energizing life-force essence. As you continue to relax, circulate the breath energy, earth energy and universal energy. Now draw in the powerful healing energy of the sun through your solar plexus. A warm yellow energy that re-ignites the life force within you. Feel your center open and receive this warming, soothing, healing energizing force. As you continue to relax, focus and spin all of this soothing, healing powerful energy throughout your entire body. Feel it bathing every single cell in your body, energizing, stimulating,

activating your energy organs and systems. Feel the energy flow through your adrenal glands, stimulating and activating your energy resources. Feel the energy flow through your thyroid gland, stimulating and activating your metabolism. Feel the energy flow through your pituitary gland, stimulating and activating your energy powerhouse. Feeling this light, bright, colorful, powerful life force move all throughout your body, energizing any weak cells, loosening and releasing any congested or dense areas, and fanning the flame of vital life-force energy that lives within your solar plexus. Feeling this warming, soothing, healing energy relieve any discomforts and fill your body with vigorous health. Feeling this effervescent rainbow energy move, and spin, and swirl throughout your body. You feel vital! You feel wonderful! Breathe deep into your belly, and then fully exhale. As you breathe in deeply once again, send this life-force energy throughout your body to any places that are weak or in pain. Hold the energy there and feel it swirling in and around the blockage, releasing energy, releasing pain, releasing tightness. Feel all of your muscles loosen and relax. Place your hands palm down on your chest. Feel the rise and fall of your breath. Know that beneath your hands, housed safely in your rib cage lies your thymus, a powerful gland responsible for your immune system defense. Try to get a sense of this gland lying beneath your hands. What is it feeling? What would it say if it could talk to you? (long pause) As you continue to relax and connect with your immune system powerhouse, send it love and appreciation for the hard work it does. Even if your immune system is weak, your thymus is working hard to do all that it can to heal you. Feel a warm glow emanating from the palms of your hands, sending love and healing energy down into your chest, to your lungs, to your heart, and into your thymus, re-energizing these organs and their systems with life force power. Feel your body armed with all of the defenses it needs to protect and heal itself. Hoards of army fighter cells are dispatched from your thymus into your bloodstream, searching, seeking, and destroying all foreign invaders and damaged cells. These powerful fighter cells move into all the systems of your body activating other defense cells and systems as they circulate. Your defense cells are brilliant. They recognize your healthy cells and detour around them, knowing they are already strong and doing their jobs, and continue searching and destroying those invaders that cause imbalance in your body. Harmful bacteria, viruses, and diseased cells are sought out, easily consumed and destroyed. Now take in a deep breath of the fresh air of life and allow your immune system to operate (long pause) As your mind and muscles stay relaxed, the elimination systems of your body kick in and cleanse your body of wastes and toxins. Imagine a waterfall of crystal clear prismatic energy flowing in and around your body, flushing away all debris and blockages. Flowing in through the top of your head, this energy flows down through your neck and chest, arms and hands, torso, legs, and feet, gently scrubbing every system and every cell, leaving your body and energy field feeling strong and freshly clean. You feel vital, wonderful, strong, happy, and healthy. Strong, happy, and healthy. Now feel heartfelt thanks for this wonderful system that constantly and vigilantly protects and heals you, all day, all night, without conscious thought. Breathe in strength, breathe out imbalance. Breathe in strength, breathe out imbalance. You are strong, healthy, and vibrant.) It is now time to begin to return using the standard return sequence (see page

87). Sit quietly for a few moments and reflect on your experience. Be gentle with yourself as you wiggle and stretch, becoming fully present in your body and conscious mind.

There is no limit to what you can manifest with the multitudes of self-hypnosis possibilities. Whatever you would like to release or create is at your disposal. It is as simple as determining what benefits you desire and putting the power of your subconscious mind to work to create that reality through self-suggestion as is demonstrated here in the following personal stories from workshop attendees and clients. HEALING INSIGHTS Becky writes: "Hello Colleen, I have been wanting to thank you for the Healing Workshop at Sparrow Hospital. I learned so much and keep your notebook handy as a reference. As it has worked out, there are a couple of things that have become regular practices in my life. I know there are many more useful techniques that we learned that day, but due to time and energy constraints I have focused on two things that seem very useful. I will probably be incorporating more things in the future. If you remember, I am dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which was kicked off by a long bout of EBV. I recorded your self-hypnosis script with a personal message to myself on a CD. I listen to this at least once a day and sometimes two or three times a day. It never fails to bring me peace and rest. It allows me to schedule rest and sleep on a regular basis rather than waiting until I am exhausted. And it has never failed to put me into a deep sleep. It "stops the wheels from turning in my head" so that I can let go of the very tiring mental stress that seems just as tiring as physical stress and maybe more so. Thank you again for opening up new paths for me and giving me hope and more good tools to use in becoming healthy in mind, body, and spirit. Sincerely, Becky." HEALING INSIGHTS Gloria came to me for Reiki treatments to shrink two grapefruit-sized fibroid tumors in her uterus. The medication that she had been taking was not working and the tumors were continuing to increase

in size rapidly. With the increase in size came an increase in pain and fear. She was facing surgery, and she was hoping to circumvent this unwanted outcome. After our Reiki session, I talked with Gloria about using self-hypnosis and visualization to augment the Reiki to bring her body back into balance more quickly. I gave Gloria a copy of this chapter to get started. Gloria religiously used the Energy Filling, Cleansing, and Pain Reduction exercise several times daily to shrink the fibroid tumors in her uterus. As the healing and cleansing white light came into her body, she opened up to the energy and allowed it to remove all of her emotional baggage and energetic blockages even though she was never able to see what her baggage and blockages looked like. She began to realize that she had always despised being a woman. Because she was not able to express or release these emotions, she held them in her womanly organ, her uterus. By holding this pain and frustration in her uterus, blockages in energy flow to this area had formed. In addition to the Energy Filling, Cleansing, and Pain Reduction exercise, Gloria also did her own self-suggestion self-hypnosis at least once a day when she sent love and affection to her uterus and released the feelings that she had been unconsciously holding there for so long. As she processed and released these emotions, she suggested that tumors shrink and fade and that all the oxygen and lifeforce energy be cut off to them. In her mind she saw the tumors and all the cancer cells shrinking, fading, and being bathed in love and acceptance. Within several weeks, the pain disappeared, and, when she returned to her physician, she described her healing work. Intrigued, her physician ordered another ultrasound, and the results showed that indeed the tumors were approximately half the size that they had been during the previous test. Encouraged, Gloria and her physician decided to postpone the surgery and continue to monitor the tumors while Gloria continued her self-healing regimen. The tumors eventually shrunk to a small pea-size and are no longer causing the symptoms of pain and heavy bleeding that they once were. Ecstatic that she has been able to avoid surgery, Gloria continues her daily self-hypnosis, and her physician continues to monitor her progress.

Self-hypnosis is all about the suggestion. Effective suggestion equals effective integration.

You have now experienced relaxation, enhanced energy flow, and healing using visualization, energy movement, and self-hypnosis. The next three techniques of meditation, journeying, and the Psyche Inventory will deepen your healing through inner exploration, release, and empowerment. They are powerful tools that will facilitate a connection between you and the inner healing power of your soulself, Spirit Teachers, and the universal life force.

-Thomas Merton, "Rain and the Rhinoceros" Meditation `Mindfulness is the miracle by which we master and restore ourselves. " -Thich Nhat Hanh According to Eknath Easwaran in his book, Meditation: An Eight-Point Program, meditation is "a systematic technique for taking hold and concentrating to the utmost degree our latent mental power. It consists of training the mind, especially attention and will, so that we can set forth from the surface level of consciousness and journey into the depths." Meditation is a practice of mind control and focus known as mindfulness. Mindfulness is bare awareness in the present moment. In the singular silence of the present moment, there is no past or future. A still mind, without the whirl of churning thoughts, anchors the heart in the present and opens the path to clear vision. Clear vision facilitates selfknowledge, relaxation, inner peace, joy, and calmness and is the foundation for the development of a liberating wisdom that Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh refers to as the "Great Awakening." In this great awakening, we become aware of our true self, in all of our beauty and in all of our limitations. We learn who we are inside of our kindheartedness, compassion, greed, pride, and judgments. We learn about our motivations for what we think and how we act and the inner landscape of our psyche. In this mindfulness, we become aware of our powerful strengths and the patterns and programmings that limit us. As we get to know ourselves in our true nature, we become aware of the details and the true nature of our surroundings, our families, our work, our hobbies, our world. In this awareness, there is freedom from masks, veils, and illusions. We can find a peaceful centeredness in this freedom. In this quiet state of being, we are open to receive and listen. The practice of mindful meditation creates an attitude and an awareness that carries over into everyday life.

Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book The Miracle of Mindfulness: A Manual on Meditation, writes that, beyond awakening, another benefit of meditation is total rest. "Even a night of sleep doesn't provide total rest. Sitting in meditation is nourishment for your spirit and nourishment for your body, as well. It is possible to find total rest in a sitting position, and in turn to advance deeper in meditation in order to resolve the worries and troubles that upset and block your consciousness." There are many ways to meditate but the way that works for you and is most enjoyable is the best. If you aren't enjoying your experiences, chances are you will begin to find that you are too busy and unmotivated to continue. Nothing in our society prepares people to be able to meditate effectively. We have been taught to look for easy, quick fixes rather than to savor the victory of a well-honed discipline. As simple as it is to institute a meditation practice, it is amazingly difficult to nourish it. We often become bored, feel we aren't ac complishing anything, or we get too busy. People also are surprised to find that meditation brings them face to face with themselves. The thoughts that they attempt to shut out through a constant barrage of activities, television, and background noise, are suddenly in their face. This rush of thoughts is often a convenient distraction that deters us from continuing a meaningful meditation practice. If we can just sit quietly through these initial moments of "monkey mind," we will witness a beautiful soul emerge from behind the chatter. Since the goal in meditation is not to explore these thoughts and feelings but rather to simply become aware of them, commitment, focus, and discipline can be utilized to experience a new healthy way of being. The common theme in all meditative practices is focus of the mind. The actual object the mind is focusing on varies with the many differing forms of meditation, but the goal of mind focus, including or excluding any other action, remains essentially the same. The goal is to free the mind of mental dispersion, thus creating the state of mindfulness or bare awareness. Some meditations focus on the breath or a movement, others on an actual object, with concentration. There are far too many variations of meditation to illustrate here; indeed there are hundreds of books written about this practice. Therefore, I will limit my description to the simple, core techniques. To begin, the Practice of Meditation requires quiet focus without interruption. Create a space that is comfortable and set aside a regular time for your practice. Make a commitment to meditate daily, if possible. This will make it easier to maintain your program. Remember that this is your time to relax and enjoy, so do that, really allow yourself to relax and enjoy. Sit comfortably with your spine straight. Gaze softly a yard or two in front of you. Relax and let everything go while continuing to keep your spine straight. You will be able to sit comfortably for a long time if you don't slouch. Begin to follow your breath as you breathe in and out. Place your left hand palm up in your right palm, allowing both hands to rest gently in your lap. Let all the muscles in your arms and shoulders relax. Relax and let go. Do not push away thoughts that come, simply allow them to flow through. Notice them and let them go. Observe your breath as it comes and goes, and let go of everything else. Try this for fifteen or twenty minutes a day, working up to a longer time if desired. Keep your practice do-able

and enjoyable. The goal here is not to achieve, simply to be in meditation. In Vipassana meditation one focuses on the breath with concentration. This can be practiced with your eyes open or closed. Sit comfortably. Do not force your breathing. Rather, breathe naturally and easily. Notice the breath passing in and out of your body. The goal of this meditation is simply to notice the passing of each breath, nothing more. Breathe in a long breath, and mindfully think, "I am breathing in a long breath." Breathe out a long breath, and mindfully think, "I am breathing out a long breath." Attempt to keep the inhalations and exhalations deliberate, slow, and similar in length. Repeat for at least fifteen to twenty minutes. When thoughts come in, they are let go, and concentration returns to the breath. Gradually, concentration and awareness increase, while intrusive thoughts decrease. A variation of this meditation focuses the attention of the mind on a particular chakra or energy center in the body, as well as the breath. By mindfully focusing on the inhalations and exhalations of the breath and the chakra area, one may become aware of the movement or blockages of energy there. The intent is not to do anything with this energy, but to simply be aware of it. For example, focus on the inhalation, thinking, "I am breathing in a long breath." Focus on the exhalation, thinking, "I am breathing out a long breath." At the same time, bring your awareness to your solar plexus. Notice what you feel in your center. Are there any physical sensations? Keep your mind focused on your center, checking to see if you are feeling any emotions. Mindfully breathe in and out thinking about your breath. Maintain the focus of your mind in your center and notice anything and everything that moves through this area. In this way, we can begin to know our bodies and how the movement of breath and energy affect us. I recommend using this technique when you are experiencing illness or pain as a way to become aware of the messages of your body. The awareness and the relaxation have a positive effect toward healing and symptom relief. The Dissolving of Self Meditation moves the focus from self to an external object. Sit comfortably and choose a mark, like a small hole, on the wall that you will stare at. This mark will become your universe for the duration of the meditation. Stare at the mark on the wall with concentration and allow all thoughts to move through you and drift away. You may stare at the mark with "hard eyes" that really bore into the mark or with "soft eyes" that stare at the mark and its close general periphery. Relax and breathe normally. Allow thoughts and external sounds to drift through your consciousness. Soon, the wall dissolves, the world changes, and eventually you dissolve. Lose yourself in the moment. The Insight Meditation has music as the focal point of mind concentration. Choose flowing music with no lyrics, such as by Tery Holly or Merlin's Magic, "The Heart of Reiki" by Andreas Mock (contact information can be found in Appendix II). Sit or lay down comfortably. Take in a deep breath and relax your body. As you exhale, close your eyes, relax your mind, and focus only on the undulations of the music. Be aware of your mind flowing with the rhythms. Breathe normally and

easily. Notice any thoughts or feelings, and then mentally flush them away. Imagine flushing them down a toilet. The thoughts and feelings swirl away with the water, and your focus returns to the music. The Expansion of Self Meditation is similar to upperworld shamanic journeying that will be introduced later in chapter seven. In this meditation, you need to choose a flowing uninterrupted piece of music that is otherworldly and creates a feeling of ascension. The music suggested above is ideal for this. Lie down and relax. With mindful intent, focus on the music and allow it to carry you upward through a cloud mass, outside of time and space, to an opulent castle with exquisite gardens surrounded by a gate. Find a way through the gate and explore the castle grounds. Look for a teacher. When you find one, ask for a personal teaching. Open your mind and receive the messages with your heart. Return when you are ready, or when the music ends. Gratefully thank this teacher for their help. The Chanting Meditation involves chanting throughout the meditation with mindful intent on the chant. This meditation helps you find your voice and feel the reverberations of it within your body. Any word or phrase that has meaning for you can be used. Some chant the name of a deity over and over. Some chant a healing phrase, such as, "I am healthy." Maybe your Spirit Teacher will give you a mantra to chant if you ask them. Sit comfortably and breathe easily. Speak the chant repeatedly and be aware of how it feels in your throat, your head, and your whole body. Movement Meditations use movement of the body as the focal point of concentration. One such meditation involves sitting cross-legged with your hands on your knees, palms down. Turn the palm up on your right hand and then place it on your solar plexus. Turn the palm up on your left hand and then place it on your heart. Bring your right hand back down to the right knee palm up, and then turn it back over to palm down. Bring your left hand down to the left knee palm up, then turn it to palm down. You should be back in the position in which you began. Repeat these movements for the entire meditation. Be mindful of your body, of your movements, and of your feelings and thoughts. The Walking Meditation moves the body and connects the soul, facilitating internal and/or external awareness. The repetitive movement of walking helps to quiet the chatter of the mind, thus allowing stillness. It is different than just going for a walk in that it is walking with intention. You first decide whether your focus is internal or external. Once decided, you walk with your hands lightly clasped behind your back with concentrated awareness of every detail either inside yourself or outside in the environment, depending on the focus you chose. A more difficult variation of this meditation is to walk with focused intention on both the internal and the external details. In meditation, the most important aspect is mindfulness, therefore it is most easily practiced in quiet solitude. I practice this meditation at a quiet nearby park. The green of the forest and the cattailed ponds lull me into a place of stillness where I connect with both Mother Nature and my soul-self. Many variations can be employed to the Movement Meditation. Any repetitive movement can be

effective. Menial tasks, such as washing the dishes or splitting wood, can become movement meditations when we engage our awareness and focus our concentration on the task. Many hobbies and leisure time activities, like quilting or woodworking, can also be movement meditations. Because I am athletic and love to run, I enjoy practicing running meditations. We often hear of athletes being "in the zone"; this is what it is like for me. While visiting a beautiful retreat center in Connecticut called the Wisdom House, I had the opportunity to run the exquisite labyrinth on the hillside. To illustrate the flowing insights of movement meditation, the following is a brief description of that enlightening experience. Stepping into the stone-bordered serpentine pathways that eventually lead to the center, my mind quieted to the tranquil surroundings. Dense fog lay in the autumn sky and covered the earth like a blanket, giving the labyrinth and the encircling mountainside a surreal feel. I felt the thick, misty air moving in and out of my lungs and the beat of my heart pushing my blood vigorously through the arteries of my neck and wrists as I ran into the maze. The surrounding trees wore the golds, oranges, and reds that heralded their seasonal transition from growth to rest. With each change in direction of the spiraling pathway, I progressed closer and closer to the center, moving nearer to the center of the labyrinth and my own center. Each varied angle of the coiling turns revealed a distinct, spectacular vista of both the countryside and my internal landscape. As I ran in full awareness, the labyrinth wound around and around, and then circled back around again to the direction in which I had just come, on a path now slightly more internal. Consciously moving forward into new views, the thought that I was nearing the center invaded the silence of my mind. I was almost there when the path unexpectedly turned back in the opposite direction, causing me to run back toward the periphery. This turn startled me into understanding the significance of the challenges that may come just before enlightenment and how this is metaphoric to life. I could see the center and I knew I was not far away, but then my path (or life circumstance) turned me in a direction away from my goal. I had to overcome the feelings of disappointment and learn the message of the new challenge this turn represented. I became aware that my focus had shifted from the external vista to the internal landscape of selflearning. Determined, I stayed on the path even though it seemed to be taking me away from my goal of entering the center. I reconciled my disappointment with the next turn and faced the next challenge created by the new direction. As if sensing this internal shift, the path suddenly wound back toward the center and I ran in, arms open wide, joyfully embracing the center of my self, the labyrinth, and the hillside. The image of Sylvester Stallone winning the fight in the movie Rocky entered my mind and I felt the same victory. The knowing that "I am strong now!" reverberated through my entire being. The joy in my soul was amplified to the surrounding countryside as my triumphant laugh howled out into the low hanging gray mist. In the ensuing thick silence, I could hear the echo of my joy returning. Listening to my own laughter, my heart swelled with self-love. My triumph gradually quieted and I mellowed to my deeper emotional feelings. I felt calm and whole. I lingered long in the moment, savoring the beauty of the inside. I felt the concentrated energy of Spirit and my soul-self blending. My body, mind, emotions, and soul felt full and complete. I was in harmony with the

universe and I sensed it tangibly as I scanned the countryside. I saw myself mirrored in the wooded hillside and the wooded hillside mirrored within myself The oranges and reds of the surrounding trees dressed in autumn colors reflected the highlights of my hair. The golds expressed the rays of sunshine I felt in my heart. The green of the pines mirrored the inner life of my soul, the trunks firmly rooted deep into Mother Earth while the branches reached to Father Sky. The deep gray mist imaged the mysterious spiritual longings of my soul. I breathed in the thick, moist air and felt it slide down deep into my lungs. Mindfully, I turned to retrace the labyrinth path with a new appreciation of both the internal and external. I was reluctant at first to leave the center, craving the ecstasy of the enlightenment I felt there. Feeling loss and remorse, I withdrew at a slow trot. With each step I ran, I became more aware of my need to bring the enlightenment and triumphant awareness of the center into my everyday living. With this realization, I became cognizant that I was already carrying this with me even though I had not been aware of it during the first few retreating steps. By mindfully entering the center and allowing my soul to be touched by this experience, I had absorbed some of the quiet wisdom of this sacred place as it resonated with my soul. Trotting along the winding pathway that guided me toward the exit, I glanced out at the sloping hillside and felt the russet autumn colors beckon my return. As I stepped out onto the grassy hillside that nestled the sacred labyrinth, I felt radiant, calm, and complete. It is a memory, a feeling, and an energy that I often recall during times of stress to remind me of my ability to be centered and strong. You can see from this example how easy and beneficial it is to bring meditation into your everyday activities and life, thus facilitating everyday life awareness. Everyday Life Awareness Awareness is the tool that you train yourself to use to create the shifts necessary for cultivating health and enlightenment. Awareness is an integral key to creating the shifts in our lives that cultivate perfect health and enlightenment. A daily practice of meditation helps us to open to awareness, although it entails much more than this. Awareness is an ongoing state of mindfulness in which we train ourselves to observe the wisdom of the universe and the rhythm of life while in the midst of living everyday ordinary life. Awareness as an "all throughout the day" practice creates an opening for life to move through us and in us, helping us to remain connected, harmonious, and balanced. Awareness is a window in which we can observe our world and see deep within our soul. To achieve health, it is invaluable to expose the truths of our internal workings, being sure to include both our lightness and our darkness. Awareness of life around us teaches us about the interplay of energy and the human psyche. We learn who we are and about our place in the world through mindful observation. When we become aware, we open to the wisdom of our soul-self and of the Spirit. Awareness occurs simply when we quiet ourselves, open our minds, and observe. Although a simple concept, it is difficult for many of us to allow ourselves to stop

"doing" long enough to become still. We are a very busy goal-oriented society with little training in the art and importance of awareness. Therefore, most of us find it easiest to learn how to become still and free from mind chatter by utilizing a consciousness-altering technique. The healing methods described in this book are effective for this purpose. Not only do they connect us to ourselves and Spirit, they also facilitate an awareness that flows into our everyday lives. By training our minds to become still and observant, these techniques teach us to notice things we might have missed without such focus. Once we become familiar with the experience of awareness in an altered state, we can then consciously use the same skill of mind focus to pay attention and be observant in our everyday world. For example, yesterday when I ran, I felt the earth beneath my feet. I noticed that the texture of the ground varied distinctly along my route through the woods and the park. The soil changed from hard packed, to loose and bouncy, to gravel. I had never noticed these things before. I have run here at least three times per week for more than ten years. The earth texture has not changed, but I have. Because my awareness has grown from my daily self-healing practice, I now notice things that I had never seen, heard, felt, touched, tasted, or smelled before. I experience things that I once took for granted. I notice big things and tiny details, simply by paying attention. Awareness requires focus. It doesn't happen any other way. You must train yourself to pay attention, to be observant, and to notice everything, inside and out. You need to make awareness a priority until it becomes a routine habit. Consciously pinpoint various times during the day that you will stop and notice what you are feeling, thinking, doing, seeing, or experiencing. You may or may not have to stop what you are doing, but you will probably have to make a point to remind yourself to do this. Hanging notes in various places where you go throughout the day acts as a helpful reminder. When you look in the mirror, go to the laundry room, or jump into the car, wherever, whenever you see a note, take in a deep breath and focus within to observe yourself for a few moments. In this way awareness is a useful tool for monitoring your status, a critical step in achieving and maintaining health. Begin by checking in regularly with yourself to see how you are feeling. Take a deep breath and quiet yourself. Pay attention to everything going on around you, noticing whatever details jump out at you. Observe everything going on within you, noticing every aspect of yourself, your mind, emotions, soul, and body. Inhale another deep breath and take a few more moments to look even further. Be observant and notice all the sensations that you can feel. Notice if anything hurts, aches, is stiff, blocked, or numb. Notice what feels neutral and okay. Notice what feels wonderful and healthy. Take a mental inventory. And then go deeper. Become aware of any other sensations that you might have missed. Notice the minutiae as detailed as you can go. Once you have fully explored the sensations of your body, and if you have discovered any imbalances, go deeper into your body and psyche to learn the message of these imbalances. Ask yourself why the imbalance is present, and then sit quietly and allow the answer to bubble forth from your inner wisdom. Be patient, this process sometimes takes awhile, maybe even days. Remain aware

of the symptom and allow the knowledge to cook within you. Soon you will know what it is telling you. If you have time to journey or meditate on this symptom, this can be helpful to connect you with your inner wisdom to discover the reason for the imbalance and bring it into balance. If you don't have time, you can still begin to rectify the imbalance wherever you are, whatever you are doing, through intention. For example, if you have checked in with the sensations of your body and discovered that your shoulders and neck feel tight and sore, take a deep breath and consciously relax your whole body for a few minutes, releasing all your tensions throughout your entire body. As you open to your inner knowledge, you discover the cause for the imbalance is the stress you feel regarding a situation at work. You aren't able to do anything right now to change this situation, but you can change how it affects you. Use one of the exercises from chapter four to move energy through your body. You may find it difficult to honor your intuitions at first, but this improves with practice. By discovering and rectifying these imbalances right away, you can prevent an illness or chronic problem that may develop should the symptoms go undetected and unresolved. Another way to employ body awareness for health is to become aware of the foods our body wants and needs. By practicing daily awareness, you can become alert to the messages your body tells you about what it likes and dislikes, what is healthy for you right then and what is not. For example, I love coffee. Sometimes it is fine for me to have, sometimes not. Today when I poured a cup, the coffee appeared thick, dark, and unappealing. It's the same regular/decaffeinated organic mix I always make, but today my body was saying it didn't want that. I listened to my body and made a cup of mint tea instead. I found it refreshing and light, apparently just what my body needed. Another example is when I had food allergy testing done. The results revealed that I am allergic to bananas when they are hard and greenish yellow, but not when soft and brownish. My body already knew this. I love soft brownish bananas and hard greenish bananas repulse me. I feel it in my body and you can too, just by paying attention. Simply relax, listen, and feel. Think about the food that you have chosen to eat and notice how your body reacts. Ask yourself if your body wants this food. Your body has the perfect answer for you. In much the same way, you can use the skill of awareness to explore your mind, emotions, and soul. In order to be healthy, you need to be connected and balanced in all areas of your being. In order to be connected and balanced, you need to be aware of what you are thinking and feeling. Notice periodically throughout the day the thoughts that you are thinking. Deepen your awareness by noticing what you are thinking underneath your superficial thoughts, and below that, and below that, like going down through the layers of an onion. Pay attention to the things that you say when you talk to yourself. Examine the daydreams you have. Check in with yourself to begin to understand and monitor your beliefs and behaviors. Notice if they are really what you want them to be. Bring your soul-self into daily awareness. Who are you really, down deep, underneath all the things

you do? Get to know yourself Notice periodically throughout the day how your soul-self feels by paying attention to the very core of your being. What does that feel like? Do you feel connected and harmonious or chaotic and out of balance? Check in with your emotions regularly throughout the day. Granted, this is a tough one. We like to avoid these scary things. Many of us have numbed ourselves to the emotions of being human in an attempt to block the pain of living, especially those living with incredible pain and suffering. Emotions are actually much easier to handle if they are acknowledged early and often, before they grow into the big scary things we try to avoid. Take time to notice how you are feeling. Sit with it. Let the messages come into your awareness. Do you need to do anything about it or is recognizing this feeling enough? Don't forget to acknowledge when you feel great. There are so many times that we feel happy and healthy and we don't even notice! Because we can harness the power of the mind anytime, anywhere, it doesn't have to take any extra time out of our busy day to be aware. Simple tasks, like driving the kids to school, washing the dishes, or taking a shower, can become mind-awareness exercises purely by noticing things. Teach yourself to notice the obvious and the not so obvious. For instance, have you ever noticed the subtle aspects of taking a shower? Try paying attention to the feeling of the delicious warm water spilling down your body, gliding over your skin, while the warmth penetrates into your core. The soothing feeling as palpating fingers of liquid relax and melt away the tension in your shoulders and neck, and the rhythmic splashes wash away worries. The feeling of refreshment and renewed energy that springs to life as you step out and dry off with the big soft fuzzy towel. You can discover all this and more in a simple shower if you pay attention, be observant, and be aware. It wouldn't take any extra time, just mindfulness. A specific technique of awareness that helps us become open to the messages of the universe is omenology. By paying attention to and interpreting everything that happens around us, we can become conscious of the internal and universal messages and signposts that mark our paths through life. These messages are available everywhere within ourselves and our worlds when we look, listen, feel, and acknowledge. If we then use our skills of intuition to let those occurrences sit within us, they will give us insight and guidance. We will also then begin to notice synchronicities, that is, uncanny events that seem ironic, such as a long lost friend calling just as your mind had drifted to thinking about them. These synchronicities teach us about ourselves and acknowledge our path toward enlightenment. One example of an omenology experience is the day the squirrel spoke to me. This particular day, as with many days, I drew a card for divination from the Medicine Card pack authored by Jamie Sams and David Carson. I went within and quieted myself for a few moments until I felt the stillness. I asked that I be shown a card that would speak the message I needed to hear right then. The card I drew was the squirrel card. In the Medicine Cards, squirrel represents the use of time and energy properly, wasting nothing on negativity, and gathering the rewards of stewardship. These messages resonated

within me as I knew that they echoed my intention of that week. I laid the card on the desk and went about my work. Later in the afternoon, I took a break from writing and went for a walk in the woods. I stood for a while in the brush overlooking an open field below, enjoying the fresh air and rolling autumn landscape. In the trees to my right, a squirrel began chattering at me. I looked at him, smiled, and asked him what the fuss was all about. As I stood there looking at him after having asked the question of him or some universal force, a knowing came into my mind. The knowing said, "You know you are tired, you can feel it and you had decided to take a nap. Why are you out here and not napping? You have worked diligently all week and late into the night last night. Give yourself the gift of rest now. If you don't, you will still be tired this weekend during your class. You will then have to push to keep going and may become ill." This old pattern of not listening to messages is hard to die, but that day I got it! I went upstairs, wrote down a few things, and gave myself the gift of rest. The remainder of the week and the weekend workshop went great, and true to the wisdom, I stayed alert and healthy. Another example of omenology is an experience that occurred later that same week. Just as I was finishing my run, I came to a pine tree that I had connected with during training in Tibetan Shamanism with Larry Peters the previous year. It was so wonderful to see this friend again and to talk with her. I stood next to her just being and sharing quiet space. With permission from her, I gently caressed her bark with my hand and felt the life force of her move through me. I thanked her for sharing this with me as I felt her immense strength and her ability to sway with the wind. I felt the personal guidance of relaxing and allowing my rigidity to fall away into the flow and swaying with life. I noticed the many pinecones she held symbolizing the fruits of labor and the planting of seeds, this being significant to my process of physically manifesting my learnings in this book. The seeds of the past were growing and the fruits of healing were a result. Walking around the circumference of her mammoth strong trunk, I found a Connecticut state quarter lying tails up on a root. The quarter beckoned to me to pick it up and keep it as a gift from the tree for honoring her beauty. The date of the quarter was 1999, the year this Tree Spirit and I first met. The tails picture on the Connecticut state quarter is a tree. Holding this quarter in my hand, I was reminded of a journey that advised me to forge a deeper connection with the Spirits of trees and plants for healing. I placed the quarter in my pocket, thanked the Tree Spirit, and went about my business. Days later, on the plane trip home, I decided to read. I reached in my backpack and pulled out the only book I had brought on the trip, Eliot Cowan's Plant Spirit Medicine. Often when we don't honor our knowings, Spirit takes matters into its own hands and the omens appear to us to teach us lessons. While at Celtic Shamanism training with Tom Cowan in the Pocono Mountains, I had the opportunity to run on the Appalachian Trail. I knew prior to this run that I was in deep need of grounding, but this being the first time I had ever been close to the Appalachian Trail, I was eager to run there. I headed out without taking time for my morning energy-connecting rituals

that include Earth energy grounding. Bounding down the trail, happy as a lark, my foot caught on a stone and I ended up sprawled on the ground on my belly. At the exact moment of my fall, a crow flew over caw ing. I laughed and yelled back, "Yes, I know! I needed grounding." And there I lay, hugging the mountain until my body was full. My reminder to pay attention was a swollen, jammed middle finger. I remembered that omen for a while! Another example of how to use omenology for learning came the day I returned home from an annual bicycling vacation. I am an avid bicyclist and each year I participate in an intensive four-day, 400+ mile tour through the state of Michigan from Lansing to the Mackinac Bridge, called Dalmac. This tour is the highlight of the cycling year, with several thousand miles of training culminating with this long weekend tour. Returning home from these four days of euphoria, athleticism, endurance, camaraderie, and friendly competition, typically resulted in a few days of post-event depression for me. This year the depression was more profound than most years. I wasn't sure why at first, I just knew that I felt very sad. Adding to my sadness, when I returned home, glory-filled from my adventure, I found the little chipmunk who I have so enjoyed watching stuff his cheeks at my bird feeder all summer, floating dead in the rain barrel. My heart sunk. After finding him, each day I would look out onto the feeders and gardens, and I would miss my little friend. I longed for his jolly little bounces through the flowers and his chirps of warning to my dog, Mana. I missed the joy this little being brought into my life and I mourned his loss. As I sat with the pain in my heart, messages of wisdom poured into my mind. For the past several years, I have been diligently engaged in pursuing my path of selfhealing, soulself connection, and spiritual development. As I continue to identify and release old programs, increase my awareness and personal freedom, one of the old programs I often wrestle is the behavior of attachment. I tend to try to keep things the same. When things are known and familiar, I cling to them out of my insecurity of the unknown. I want to continue to grow and heal, and I know that I can't do that by remaining unchanged. As my awareness grows, I recognize that the omens I experience are attempting to teach me about the wisdom of letting go of my attachments and moving forward. That day, as I allowed myself to "be" instead of do, I went deeply within myself to process this lesson. In the stillness within, my internal wisdom and the Spirit beings around me illuminated my emotional processing. Realizing the choice was mine whether to remain in this depressive, nostalgic, mournful funk or to live in the moment, I decided to enjoy the beautiful early autumn day with a walk in the woods with my dog, Mana. As we strolled down the path, a squirrel scurried in front of us to a nearby tree trunk. Hanging upside-down, he looked me square in the eyes and squeaked a message sure to get my attention. His whole body jumped as he energetically chirped and I couldn't help but laugh. Asking him what the fuss was all about, he squeaked out a message about attachment. Switching off my conscious critical mind, I traversed the path within myself into an alpha state of consciousness.

Watching the squirrel, I listened to the insights that bubbled forth from my silent center, quietly tuning into the inner interpretation of his message. He told me that squirrels gather acorns during harvest when they are plentiful and bury them for future use. When the squirrel first finds an acorn, he is excited about the find and vows to remember where this acorn is for future use. But as all squirrels do, he forgets where he buried it and must rely on his sense of smell to recover his prize. Because squirrels are not attached to the past or these acorns, they do not feel bad about forgetting where the acorn is. In fact, they forget that they even tried to remember it in the first place. So, when the squirrel does recover his treasure, he is so happy with his rediscovery that there is much joy. Because he was not attached to the acorn, he had the joy of finding his prize twice, equally enjoying each moment. And because squirrels don't "own" the acorns they bury, if they find each other's buried treasures, there are no hard feelings. As the meaning of this message sunk into my mind, the squirrel stopped chirping and we quietly held each other's gaze. With a nod and smile I thanked him for his wisdom and wandered down the wooded path contemplating the ways this message applied to my life. I realized that as I continue to release my attachment to things and experiences in my life, I open myself to further experiences. When this happens I will be able to enjoy them for the unique experiences that they are in those present moments, not the way it was in the past. I can enjoy it and release it at the same time. I can be in the experience and over it simultaneously. I can honor the chipmunk for the joy he brought into my life but not spend precious energy wishing for what can no longer be. By staying attached to the chipmunk and the sadness of his passing, I would be missing the beauty of the experiences of the present moment. Instantly, the insight was clear that I had been given special gifts by the chipmunk and the squirrel. I had been given gifts of heartwarming joy for all the moments of watching their happy little antics, and gifts of heartbreak in realizing the loss that accompanies all of life. We experience loss in every moment, although most of us are unaware of this. We experience the loss of each moment as it passes from the present into the past. In the passing of each moment, we are given the opportunity to continually change and grow. When we hang on to past moments, we attach ourselves to something that no longer is. In order to grow and transcend, we must be dynamic, always moving, always growing, always changing, experiencing each moment as if there were no others and will be no others. The death of my little friend taught me to let go of the past, that it is not healthy for me to be attached, and that I must move forward, making each moment special. With this awareness, my pining for the happy days of Dalmac and the post-event depression ceased. The omen of the chipmunk and the squirrel; live today, enjoy the moment, revel in discovery and rediscovery.

The following stories and letters are a testament to the power of the human spirit to heal when allowed

to regain harmony and balance through meditation. HEALING INSIGHTS Anne wrote this letter following an Inner Power workshop. Her letter describes how beneficial meditation and other Inner Power techniques can be in helping regain harmony and balance during a physiological life change. She writes: "Dear Colleen, When I came to the Self-Healing class I was very stressed and felt like I had no control over myself. I'm going through menopause and I was not happy with myself I felt depressed all the time and felt like I was `ready to explode.' Every little thing would upset me. Working as a preschool teacher was very difficult requiring a lot of patience. I got to the point where I was afraid to be with the kids-I never hurt one, but sometimes I felt like I was ready to. I was on Zoloft, but it didn't seem to be helping. Since taking the class I feel like I have my life back in control. I'm still on Zoloft but now I have a resource to use when I feel stressed. I feel much more in control of myself even though there are still times when I feel I'm `losing it.' I recognize when this is happening and through meditation and hypnosis I'm able to regain control. I use the hypnosis at least once a week. Usually it's in the afternoon when I get home from work-it helps me relax and get a fresh start for the evening. I can't believe how refreshed I feel afterwards. I do a quick meditation during the day when I'm stressed out and need to recoup. Visualization is something I frequently do-I visualize myself as a calm energetic person." HEALING INSIGHTS Judy and I became acquainted when she attended therapy to reduce or alleviate stress and anxiety. Judy is a stay-at-home mom by choice with two beautiful daughters and what she describes as a challenging marriage. After experiencing several short episodes of depression mixed with anxiety, she recognized that in order to be functional she would have to learn some techniques to help her cope. During therapy, we explored several of the Inner Power techniques and Judy immediately identified with meditation. Judy reported each week in therapy that meditation was helping her to feel more connected with her body and that she was feeling more ease and strength. When summer vacation for her daughters rolled around, Judy was concerned about when and how she would be able to fit in her "personal therapy," as she called it. As luck would have it, during the first week while Judy was meditating, her oldest

daughter needed something and cautiously entered the room. Watching her mom for a few moments, she felt the calm peacefulness her mom was experiencing. She calmly sat down and waited for her mom to respond to her presence. Ten or fifteen minutes later Judy opened her eyes to find her daughter sitting and "meditating" in the room with her. A few minutes later Rachael opened her eyes to find her mom smiling softly toward her. As they discussed the experience, Rachael admitted that she was just waiting and then her mind slipped into a quiet meadow filled with flowers and butterflies. She became engrossed in watching the butterflies and forgot what she came to ask her mom. As Judy listened to her daughter's healing experience, she knew that it would be important to teach her children the healing art of meditation, and she did. All that summer Judy and her two girls meditated together for fifteen to twenty minutes on the sunny porch with quiet undulating music in the background. That was six years ago now and Judy and her daughters are still avid meditators. Judy has remained calm and centered and able to grow and thrive in a difficult, but loving marriage. Rachael is now in her first year of college studying alternative healing and exploring how to best use her gifts of being able to see and sense energy. Raeanna is active in high school soccer and both school and church choir. She uses meditation to focus her energy, thoughts, and feelings prior to games and performances. Because of the benefits Ralph has witnessed with his family, he has recently begun to attempt the technique of meditation that he once considered "hokey voodoo New Age girly stuff" with good success for a beginner. Judy is hopeful that this will turn the tide in their marriage. HEALING INSIGHTS Greg is a forty-six-year-old electronic engineer where he feels meditation helps him deal with the near-constant stress of the demands of the automotive industry. He wrote to thank me for offering a recent meditation class. He said he was looking for techniques that might help him quiet his overly analytical mind. He admitted to being skeptical, but was tired of feeling stressed. He couldn't relax at work or at home due to his highly demanding career. He shared that he has been pleasantly surprised that meditation creates emptiness and mind rest. When he sits still and breathes deeply, it breaks up his mind-chatter and repetitious tape of negative head talk. From the quiet stillness within bubbles forth inner calm, wisdom, and healing. He feels he is learning more and more about himself as his practice deepens, another surprise for him. He meditates for five minutes in the morning as he showers, again for another ten minutes as his coffee brews, for ten minutes during his lunch hour, and another five minutes when he returns home from work, varying the focus of his attention. Four days per week he goes to the gym after work and when he works out on the treadmill and the spinning bicycle he meditates there instead of when he gets home. He also meditates for five to ten minutes before bed to help himself relax and clear his mind. He finds that meditation brings him a calm centeredness that stays throughout the day and creates more awareness of body sensations, thoughts, emotions, and details of what is happening around him. Since he has been practicing daily, he has noticed his increased connectedness to nature. He now makes note of the

animals and hawks he sees during his commute and listens intently to the messages they bring.

Free your mind and you will become present and aware of the world.

By practicing meditation you have begun to experience some of the potent healing benefits of emptying your mind, relaxing, de-tensifying, and reconnecting with your soul-self and the universal life-force energies around you. This next chapter will take meditation one step further into soul travel to heal with the powerful Spirits and energies of the otherworlds.

The Healing Art of Journeying In shamanism, the maintenance of one's personal power is fundamental to well-being. -Michael Harner Journeying is a cross-cultural healing technique that comes from our ancestral roots in shamanism. In most cultures throughout history the intention of learning how to journey has been to become a shaman to help others heal. Today, the power of the shamanic journey can be harnessed for oneself as a potent technique for self-healing. Useful for restorative relaxation, energy movement, and deep personal healing on all levels, journeying often feels like "coming home" because it reconnects us with our true self and the divine. A strong, healthy body is one of many rewards that journeying on a regular basis delivers. Peace and calmness seep into everyday life from this connection of soul-self with spirit. It is also a joy to meet the many Spirits who avail themselves to help us live life to the fullest, to explore new worlds, to query deep into the inner self, and to personally connect with the

divine. Journeying is based on the concept that there is an interconnected web of energy and power between all things, that we call Spirit. This Spirit web is the life force and power of life. For most people the world appears to be an ordinary place comprised of a physical environment that can be explained by science. We perceive people and objects as being solid and material. The Spirit web of life is a non-ordinary world that encompasses, underlies, and runs through the ordinary physical world. The ordinary world is dependent on the web for its life-force energy and existence. The web pervades all of life, is real and present, but just outside of ordinary perception. Journeying is a technique that unveils the non-ordinary world and allows us to touch and perceive the web. Shamans use this technique to see the interconnectedness of life and utilize this power and knowledge for the healing and guidance of others. In this same way, the personal journeyer can access the web for power to heal themselves. Through conscious intention of connecting with the power of the web, the journeyer becomes power-filled, thereby accessing powerful life-force energy that heals. Used in this way, the power of personal journeying is unmatched as it facilitates restoration of wholeness and power to the mind, body, emotions, and soul. Although shamanism is the oldest living path of spirituality and healing, many people have never heard of it or don't know what it is. Shamanism is not a religion; it is a method of healing and a spiritual way of living based in animism. Animism is the understanding that all things are living, connected to the web, and have a soul: trees, animals, this book, the chair you are sitting in, and you and me. Shamanism represents the most widespread and ancient methodological system of mind-body healing known to humanity. It is believed to have been effectively in use for approximately fortythousand years and has existed on all continents giving it many cultural flavors. It is experiential, not dogmatic or didactic, nor does it have a specific set of rules to follow. In most countries, shamanism coexists, blends with, and complements at least one other religion, including the major world religions of Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism. The term shaman (pronounced SHAH-maan) has been adapted from the Tungus people of Siberia meaning "one who sees in the dark." This name denotes the ability of the shaman to journey out of space and time into non-ordinary reality where they connect with Spirit Teachers to diagnose and treat illness. They are often called "seers" or "knowers" because of this ability to journey into nonordinary reality and experience information firsthand. The shaman is the "middleman" between the ordinary reality in which we live and the non-ordinary reality that exists just outside of our everyday perceptions. The role of the shaman is diverse. Shamans are t h e counselors, advisors, and psychologists of their communities. In the capacity of healer, or medicine person, the shaman journeys to the Spirit world (otherworld) to connect with their Spirit Allies or Spirit Teachers. While there, they use an array of techniques and always Spirit guidance to diagnose illness etiology and restore wholeness and power to the person. In shamanism, most illnesses are considered spiritual illnesses and therefore can be affected by spiritual intervention. The shaman may also impart wisdom offered from the Spirit world to assist the client on their path of healing and

walking in balance. Studying shamanism, learning basic journeying techniques, and practicing personal journeying does not make one a shaman. To become a shaman requires a deep, undeniable internal calling, as well as intense self-exploration, initiations, and a lifetime dedication to study, training, apprenticing, experiencing, healing, and practicing. It is no easy undertaking and one that few ever consider. It is by inner drive, not mere choice, that a seeker becomes a shaman. The focus of this chapter is not on how to become a shaman, but how to use the technique of the personal journey to heal yourself by connecting with the divine universal energy of your soul-self and Spirit Teachers. We all have Guardian Spirits, known shamanically as Spirit Teachers, Spirit Allies, and/or Power Animals. Many people familiar with working with Spirits may also refer to these as Spirit Guides or Totems. For ease of reading, I will refer to these power sources with an allencompassing term of Spirit Teacher(s). Spirit Teachers are Spirit energies that appear to us and to the shaman in diverse ways. They may appear in angelic, human, energy-being, animal, bird, or insect form. They may also appear to us as Ascended Masters, such as Jesus, Buddha, Mother Mary, Quan Yin, great past shamans, past teachers and healers, such as Edgar Cayce, Albert Einstein, and an entire spectrum of powerful healers and teachers. Shamanic cultures believe everyone is born with a guiding Spirit that protects us and shares its power with us. Michael Harner learned in his worldwide studies of shamanic cultures that connections to Spirit Teachers not only increase one's physical energy and ability to resist disease, but also increases mental alertness and self-confidence. We create a partnership with our Spirit Teachers and their "work" is to help us through our lives. They also grow and benefit from this alliance. We may lose this Spirit help for many reasons. If we have not honored our Spirit Teachers, recognized them, or asked for their help, they may distance from us. Substance abuse, spiritual ignorance, and disregard for walking one's destined path can also cause this Spirit disconnection. When a person becomes dis-spirited, meaning separated from their Spirit Teachers and their soul-self, they experience a power deprivation in which they may feel lost, depressed, or unconnected without awareness of why these feelings occur. Symptoms of this power loss can include: chronic fatigue, chronic illness, depression, weakness, ongoing misfortune, absentmindedness or inability to focus, and other chronic problems. Often people with power loss are struggling with emotional issues as well. Power loss may also be indicated if a person is having difficulty with his or her own personal journey, meditations, or intuitive connections. Another symptom of having been dis-spirited is when a person feels they have lost their way. There are times in life when we feel disconnected from Spirit, from ourselves, from our purpose, and from our lives. We may feel we are struggling along without choice or direction. It may be that we have become disconnected from our spiritual help. Often, all we need is the extra boost of reunification from journeying to our Spirit Teachers and Power Animals. This creates a bridge from our physical world to the Spirit worlds and reconnects us with our lost power. Reconnecting with your Spirit Teachers is beneficial in many ways. It raises your vibrational rate,

allowing you to fill with, and hold, personal power. This personal power is your life force and your essence. It is what gives you the energy to find joy in life, to have direction and purpose, and to live rather than merely exist. This can be likened to the energy George Lucas, writer of Star Wars, was referring to when he referenced "the Force." Feeling lost, powerless, depressed, or ill is a signal that it is time to reconnect with "the Force" of your own Spirit. Most everyone can journey since it does not require any special talents. However, certain skills are utilized that are not common in our busy society and may require honing before successful journeying is attained. Relaxation, imagination, focus of intention, concentration, and surrender are the skills needed. The ability to relax and quiet the mind allows us to move from the ordinary world into the non-ordinary world. Imagination is the vehicle that begins the journey and opens the doorways and tunnels that connect us with the non-ordinary world. Focus of intention is the link that moves the imagination forward and into connection with the web. Concentration trips the conscious critical mind that judges, analyzes, and tries to convince us that the non-ordinary does not exist. Surrender is the ability that allows us to go into the feeling of the moment without attachment to outcome. It is not a giving up of self, but a giving over to experience. It is loosening the tight grip we hold on our minds, our bodies, our perceptions of the world, and a relaxing of the need to be in control. Successful journeying is so simple that it eludes us sometimes when we first begin, but through continuing attempts, and by honing the necessary skills, we usually meet with success. Simply relax and allow the experience to flow. Sometimes we try so hard to will something to happen that it isn't able to flow. As you practice the technique of journeying, let go of your will to accomplish and just allow the energy to flow through you. Feel the expanding of your mind with this flow. Let go. Have fun. You may have a serious intent for your journey, but exploration of the non-ordinary Spirit world is a safe, pleasant, and joyful adventure. Relax and enjoy this as you enter the world of personal healing. Learning to journey Shamanically speaking, there are three worlds: the middle-world, the lower-world, and the upperworld. The middle-world is the world in which we live. It has both physical and spiritual aspects and is unique in that both the ordinary and the non-ordinary worlds overlap here. It is the world of balance and integration. The upper and lower worlds are places of power where we directly access guidance and empowerment. The lower and upper worlds are non-ordinary worlds that have nothing to do with the concept of heaven or hell. This may be confusing for the beginning journeyer depending on one's belief systems. These spiritual worlds are referred to as the "otherworlds" or "spirit realms." These otherworlds exist within and around all of us, just outside of our daily perceptions. They are the "places" that shamans and journeyers experience and can be accessed through doorways or tunnels. A shaman or journeyer enters a trance-state in order to access these otherworlds. This ecstatic state is commonly termed the shamanic state of consciousness (SSC) and/or non-ordinary reality (NOR). This state of deep awareness allows the journeyer to place the conscious, critical, left-brained mind at rest

while exploring the realms of vast possibility in the otherworlds. The trance-state used by shamans and journeyers is the theta state of brain-wave activity, the state that is the closest to sleep. Thus, many shamans are called "dreamers" or are said to be "dreaming" the journey. This state feels similar to daydreaming, although it is much, much deeper. The shamanic trance is often entered into with the assistance of monotonous rhythmic drumming, rattling, singing, or movement. Once the journeyer enters this state of consciousness, the journey begins. If you are learning to journey on your own and not with an established shamanic group, at a workshop, or drum circle where live drumming is provided, you will need to obtain a tape or CD, preferably of repetitive shamanic drumming, to assist you in entering the shamanic state of consciousness. The Foundation for Shamanic Studies offers these through mail order and in many local New Age bookstores. If you are interested, please refer to the appendix for contact information. You may also use rattling, non-lyrical music, etc. but rhythmic drumming is most commonly used and found to be most successful. Once you have obtained your audio medium, find a quiet, dark place with no interruptions, where you can lie down comfortably. Create an environment that is warm, comfortable and conducive to energy flow. Light a candle near where you will be journeying (Spirits of light are attracted to the flame), but not too close in case you move during the journey. Create an altar around the candle, if you choose, using items of great meaning to you. These are known as power objects. You can use special stones that you have found, significant items given to you, icons, and items that represent Spirit in your life. These are important power builders to have near you when you journey. Acorns, pine cones, and other items from nature honor Mother Earth and the Nature Spirits. Be sure not to injure trees, plants, or animals in your quest for power objects. Now that your room is set, call in the Spirits using a rattle or drum. You may also want to dance, sing, or whistle, whatever works for you. This alerts the Spirits that you are opening a channel to connect with them. Shamans I have studied with typically call in the major six directions of east, south, west, north, above, and below, but I also call in the center direction of within. This opens my soul and awareness to being present and brings my center, the center of my universe, in line with all other Spirits present. Calling in the Spirits may sound difficult but is really very easy. Begin by standing in the center of the room facing east. Rattle or drum and ask the good and helping compassionate Spirits of the east to come and be with you in the room. If you know of any of your Spirit Teachers who live in the east or know of any elemental properties of the east, call those in by name. For example, when I call in the Spirits of the east I say, "I call to all the good and helping compassionate Spirits of the east. I call to the power of my personal Spirit Teachers who reside in the east (calling each one by individual name). I call to the power of the place of the rising sun and the rising moon, of springtime, of the air and ether, and to the place of new beginnings and prosperity. I call to the powers of the east and invite you into my room, my home, and into my journey today. Please come and be with me, that I may know you and honor you and share in your power and wisdom and guidance."

I then turn to the south and follow a similar pattern. Some of the powers I call to, such as springtime and new beginnings in the east, are cultural and vary widely across the earth. Journeyers develop their own style and directional allied powers over the course of practice, so feel free to experiment and implement your own. If this technique is new to you and you would like to follow my example until you feel comfortable in establishing your own, the following are the directional powers I invite. South, the power of the place of the midday sun, summertime, transformational fire, growth, creativity, entertainment, and connection with the inner child. West, the power of the place of the setting sun and the setting moon, autumn, flowing water, the ancestors, death and rebirth, spiritual questing, and visions. North, the power of the place of darkness and night, the cleansing of wintertime, the place of introspection and wisdom, the elements of earth, and strength, courage and wisdom gained from life's battles, challenges, and struggles. Above, the power of the place of the star beings and the planet beings, Father Sun and Grandmother Moon, the upper-world and all of our Spirit Teachers who live there. Below, the power of the place of the beauty of our Mother the Earth, Nature Spirits, plant spirits, faeries, and the little people, the lower-world and all of our Power Animals and Spirit Teachers who live there. Center/Within, the power of my soulself life-force energy. I ask my soul-self to be open, aware, and receptive to the wisdom and healing of the Spirits, the web, and all that happens in this journey. Once you have called in the Spirits, determine the intention of your journey, that is, what do you wish to accomplish by taking this journey. For example, I often journey for healing or for guidance and teaching on a particular subject or personal issue. If you are not able to have a live drummer, turn on the tape or CD of drumming and lay down. Position yourself comfortably and cover up with a blanket if you choose. Breathe deeply and calm yourself. Quiet your mind and let go of any expectations or fears. Cover your eyes with a bandana, an eye cover, or your arm for complete darkness. Breathe deeply and calm your mind and body. Think of a place in nature where you feel connected, safe, and protected, a special place where you enjoy spending time or did as a child. Perhaps the place you prefer is a place that you visit in your mind and is not an actual physical location. Whichever works best for you is the place of choice. This is called your departure point. Now visualize your departure point strongly in your mind. Place yourself there as vividly as possible. Once there, begin to think of the intention for your journey, and repeat your intention to yourself three times. This is very important as it focuses the energy of the journey. For your first several journeys, it is recommended that your intention be to travel to the world in which you are going (the lower-world for your first journey), to explore the terrain of the lower-world, and to connect with your Spirit Teachers. As you breathe deeply and relax, actually say this sentence to yourself three times. The intention of my journey is to travel to the lower-world, explore the terrain of the lower-world, and meet with my Spirit Teacher(s). At your departure point, you need to look for an opening in the earth. Anything that acts as a porthole into the earth that feels right for you is perfect. This may be a rabbit hole, bee hole, snake

hole, hole at the base of a tree, any kind of hole. You may prefer to descend down through water by diving into a lake, river, or swamp. Some people prefer going into a hole in a tree and slipping down through the roots into the earth, or going through the coals or the ashes of a campfire or the space between a rock and the earth. Others are simply drawn down as if caught up in a waterslide or a mudslide. Remember you will be traveling as Spirit so the rules of the physical world do not apply. You can breathe under water and you can squeeze into a tiny space a la "Alice in Wonderland" (which, as an aside, is a lower-world journey account). Once headed down into the earth, your porthole turns into a tunnel. At first the tunnel may be dark and dim, but don't be afraid. It might go along the ground or under the ground. The tunnel may curve around or it may descend steeply. Often the tunnel appears ribbed. Some people pass through the tunnel so quickly it is not seen. If the tunnel is too small or dark, widen it and brighten it. At this point in the journey, your imagination is still in control of your surroundings, and you can make your route into the otherworld as comfortable for you as possible. At the end of the tunnel, you emerge into the lower-world. Journeyers are typically drawn to the places where their Spirit Teachers live and work, but no one can tell you for sure what you will see on your journey. As each journeyer is unique, each journeyer's terrain of the worlds in which they travel is also unique, with the exception of shamans trained to travel to specific places in the otherworlds. The lower-world into which you have just entered appears differently for most journeyers. It consists of many different levels and infinite possibilities of landscape and experiences that you may encounter. The energy typically feels earthy and primal so you may find that it looks very much like earth or places that you know of on earth. Even so, there are no rules in journeying and sometimes things appear contrary to expectation. It could be that you will find yourself in a celestial environment, replete with planets and stars, that may cause you to think that you have traveled to the wrong place. If this occurs, allow these thoughts to move through you, to simply drift away. As long as you have traveled down through the tunnel, you are in the lower-world. No matter what you "see" or experience, just relax, be aware, and allow the journey to unfold. Explore the terrain if you see any, and "talk" with Spirit Teachers, if you meet any. Communication often occurs telepathically or comes into your mind as a "knowing." All you have to do is think of questions to ask or things to say, and usually the answers come into your mind before you have finished formulating the question. This is the remarkable nature of Spirit connection. In ordinary reality, we tend to rely heavily on vision to feed us most of the information we receive about our world, often to the minimization of our other senses. Our other senses continue to send us information, but we are often less aware of their input. In non-ordinary reality, senses are opened and exercised in a way that we may not normally recognize or interpret in ordinary reality, such as feeling and knowing. Because our mode of gaining information in non-ordinary reality may not be visual, this may cause a person to feel they did not achieve their journey destination or that they were unsuccessful in journeying. Relax and allow all of your senses to come alive and bring their awareness to you. If you don't see anything, that does not mean that you are not journeying or that nothing is

happening. Notice if you are hearing or smelling anything. Focus on your feelings and become aware of them. What sensations are happening in your body? All that happens during a journey is important information for you to utilize in your healing, your daily life, and your spiritual evolution. Gaining skill in being multi-sensual is one of the powerful benefits of journeying that opens us up to intuition and spiritual guidance in our daily ordinary reality. When you hear the rapid callback drumbeat, it is time to return to ordinary consciousness. The tunnel will appear no matter how far you have roamed from its opening or you will be instantaneously transported back to the opening. You ascend up through the tunnel, the porthole in the earth, and back to your departure point. Then feel yourself back in the room, back in your physical body. Stretch and wiggle to bring your essence all the way back into your body. Be gentle with yourself as you return. After your journey, thank the Spirit Teacher(s) who joined you and let them know you are now finished so that they are free to go if they choose. Begin to ponder the journey you just experienced. Every detail in a journey has significance. Take a few moments to journal your journey, documenting all the details as best as you can recall. I feel this is a very important step for personal and spiritual growth. As time and your journeys progress, it may become important to look back over the learnings offered in past journeys. Sometimes we are unable to glean clear understanding or process certain information at the time of the journey. As we progress in journey skills and perhaps spiritual enlightenment, we may be better able to understand what guidance and teachings were being offered. After documenting your journey, spend a few moments sitting quietly in this space to reflect, review, and interpret. Jot down these thoughts as well. Extinguish the candle, thanking the Spirit of the fire. The journey to the upper-world is performed in a similar fashion, only traveling upward instead of down. You prepare yourself in the same way as described for the lowerworld journey by creating a quiet sacred space, calling in the Spirits, and settling into a comfortable journey position. State the intention of your journey three times. Visualize yourself clearly at your departure point and this time find a way to go up. Some people climb a mountain, tree or a vine similar to the childhood fable "Jack and the Beanstalk" (which is an upper-world shamanic account of European origin). Or you may fly up to the upper-world as a bird, carried by a bird, or with a storm similar to The Wizard of Oz. Some people float up like the smoke from a campfire, climb a rainbow, or may have an airplane speed them up. Some are simply sucked up in a vacuum-like action transporting them to the realms of the upperworld. Again, the landscape will appear different to all who journey, so relax and explore. Be open to the use of all of your senses. Suspend your conscious critical mind and enjoy the ride. Remain aware of occurrences and details. When the callback sounds, you will come down the same way you went up. Again, be gentle with yourself, mindfully feeling fully back in your body. Ponder, interpret, and journal your journey experience. The procedure for middle-world journeying is similar to that of lower and upper worlds with the exception that we travel here in this world in spiritual form. You may meet Spirit Teachers that you

have already met on previous journeys or you may meet new ones. It is important when journeying in the middle-world to ask questions of the beings you meet to be sure their intentions are for your highest good. In the middle-world, there are mischievous Spirits, so use your wits and your senses and interview your new acquaintances. Do not allow this caution to frighten you from middle-world journeying, as this is a very powerful healing technique. Using your senses simply assures that you will have the most positive outcome of your journey. Prepare yourself and your room as you would for any journey. State your intention three times and visualize your departure point. For example, let's say you are not feeling well and you want to go to a place and time when you did feel well. You recall last summer while on vacation being in a beautiful place in nature where you connected and felt happy and strong. This would be considered a power place for you. Your intention, then, is to go to this special power place in your journey to soak up the good energy there and connect with the health you had at that time, in that place. You state three times, "the intention of my journey is to journey in the middle-world to such-and-such place, to connect with the power of such-and-such place, and to connect with my Spirit Teacher(s)." Relax and allow yourself to drift to that special place. Use all of your senses to feel that you are really there. Allow the energy of the health you felt there to soak into your body, deep into every cell. Notice any Spirit Teachers that may connect with you. Relax and allow the journey to flow. Stay connected with the flow of healing energy moving through your body. When the callback sounds, travel back over the landscape you previously traveled and return to your body and your journey room. Be gentle with yourself. Wiggle your body to make sure that you are fully back. Sit for a few moments and ponder. Journal your journey experience and allow the interpretations to gently flow into your consciousness. Using Journeys for Deep Healing Success in journeying is subjective and unique to each of us. It is important not to judge your journey but to sit with what happened for you. See how it feels. What messages or meanings ring true? In a world of competition and "one upmanship," we are often frustrated if we do not have the mindopening, colorful, visionary journey that has been described to us in this book or from others who journey. As powerful as those journeys are, they may not occur all the time for even the most polished and practiced shamanic journeyer. Journeys also do not always fit our perceived expectation of what we thought we needed or were looking for in that particular journey. Even so, in returning to ordinary reality after flowing with the journey, we sense that what occurred was exactly what we needed, even though we didn't think so in the beginning or during the journey. Interpreting your journeys is an integral step for gleaning understanding from the wisdom conveyed by the Spirit world. At times, your journey's meaning may be very simple and easy to understand depending on how your Spirit Teachers teach and deliver guidance. However, more often than not, Spirit teaches using metaphor or experiential vignettes that may be difficult to understand at first.

Spirits do not often teach in the clear, direct format that many school-educated Westerners are used to having information presented. We must utilize our minds, emotions, wits, senses, and intuitions like a detective to decipher the truth for us. In essence, we must learn to speak the language of the Spirits. This too builds power as we learn to understand the messages of the Spirit world and how those resonate with our soul-self. Many mystics talk about the feeling of an inner bell in our solar plexus ringing truth that can be felt. This is a skill taught in the Truth Spot Exercise in Chapter Two that I encourage you to develop and hone. Since all shamanic journeyers are individuals with different levels of development and life experiences, there are no journey interpretations that are alike, even in similar journeys. Each individual journeyer must interpret his or her own journeys based on relevance to their intention, life experiences, and spiritual experience. Bouncing journeys and interpretation ideas off others is fine as long as you remain true to your inner knowings about the journey. Others may have ideas that help you decipher understanding, or they may be totally off base. If you choose to share and ask for interpretation help, consider the ideas but then form your own conclusions. Just because someone else had a journey with a similar Power Animal or subject and interpreted it in a certain way does not mean this meaning will hold true for you. It is also important not to judge your journeys, but to sit with them and see what bubbles up inside of you. Your journeys are perfect for you, whatever they may be. When you return from a journey, you may feel joyful and light. This is known as shamanic ecstasy. Shamanic ecstasy is the term used to describe the shamanic journey and the often-accompanying euphoric high that many journeyers experience when they come out of their journey. This high is exquisite and defies description with mere words. Journeys are magical travels into the mysterious, where the journeyer connects with energy that is often electric and vibrates at a high and fast frequency. It is unlike any energy here in our everyday world. The feelings elicited by this contact are intense, esoteric sensations that can be tangibly felt throughout the entire body. Upon returning from a journey, the traveler is both calm and supercharged at the same time. This high is electrifying. It is this energy connection that heals our power-zapped, ravaged bodies and turns us into healthy, powerfilled beings able to deal with our ordinary world. The many physical benefits from journeying are deep and profound and are sometimes measurable, sometimes not. The body has the innate ability to heal itself when put into balance. Journeying creates this needed balance in various ways. The physical act of journeying is one of trance and total body relaxation. For the period of time a person journeys and the quiet period afterward, the body is allowed to go into a place of peaceful rest and revitalization. Also, because the nature of journeying is connecting with Spirit, we are experiencing energy vibrations of a higher frequency than the normal everyday human ratethe dense-vibrational rate. This direct Spirit connection channels energy vibrations through our physical body that can release old congested energy and blockages, as well as excite and energize the body systems. The act of entering the shamanic state of consciousness through journeying invites energy back into the body. This energy changes the body at the very atomic and

molecular level. Each time a person journeys, the energy change becomes deeper and stronger. The increase in a person's energy vibrational rate causes the stoppage of energy loss and leaks, allowing a person to become energy-filled. By connecting regularly with Spirit energy, we actually change our vibrational rate to be closer to theirs. I was shown in a journey that the vibrational rate of an ill person is much slower than that of a healthy person. Therefore, increasing the vibrational rate through journeying facilitates healing. The more a person journeys or receives healings and connects with this energy source, the stronger their own energy becomes until they are fully healthy and vibrating at a higher rate. Add to that the benefits of enlightenment and you can see why shamans are such powerful people. In addition to phenomenal physical healing, journeying connects us to the vast world of knowledge, wisdom, and the intrigues of the great mysteries. Here you can find your soul-self, your power, your health, and your passion for life. Journeying is like taking a ride on the magical mystery tour bus of truth and the profound, as the vastness of the otherworlds and inner worlds open your eyes to a new way of being. Journeying stretches the limits, broadens your horizons, and reveals mind-blowing realities outside of human illusions. If you have seen the movie The Matrix, then you know what I mean when I say that journeying can be a way out of the matrix of our human-created illusions. Journeys help us discover places of power where we can harness strength, wisdom, and power to manifest our dreams. Journeying will change your life because it will change you. Once you have learned how to journey, there are an infinite number of ways to use this technique for powerful healing and spiritual growth. Simply by stating your intention, you can go anywhere and do anything with the help of your Spirit Teachers. Even the sky is not the limit in journeying. Since we travel beyond space and time, anything is possible, so be creative and follow your intuition. Some common intentions for journeys are to explore the landscapes of the otherworlds, meet Spirit Teacher(s), gain energy and personal power, receive guidance by asking questions, or request healing. Anything you feel Spirit guidance would benefit is a perfect intention for your journey. Journeying to reconnect with your soul-self is a powerful journey that directly links you with, and opens up, the flow of your personal life-force energy. Close your eyes, drum or play the drumming CD, relax, and state the intention of your journey three times: "The intention of my journey is to journey to the inside of me, to my core, to reconnect with my soul-self." This allows you to rediscover this lost, wild, free, primal part of yourself that reigned before the roles and rules of life robbed you of that. Journeying to the wild woman or wild man inside of you, that is you, reconnects you with this powerful dynamic energy to harness strength, vitality, and re-ignite your passion for living. Journey to unleash your primal soul-self and experience being wild and free, dancing and soaring, and see if that doesn't help you heal and feel more alive! One of the most helpful journeys during illness, a relapse, or whenever you feel something coming on is to journey to your sacred healing place. Choose the destination of your journey, upper-, lower-,

or middle-world. Since sacred healing medicine places exist in all the worlds it does not matter which you choose, just go where you feel most comfortable and most drawn. State the intention of your journey three times: "The intention of my journey is to journey to (the world of choice) world, to my sacred healing medicine place, to receive healing and wisdom." I recommend journeying to your healing places often to heal and to discover what the illness is, why it came to you, and what you can do to help yourself heal. Journeying daily to your sacred healing medicine places in the lower-, middle-, or upper-worlds to connect with the energy of your soul, the web, and your Spirit Teachers will profoundly raise your personal energy and improve your health. Another powerful journey during illness is to travel to the sun to bring its warmth and energy into your body to boost your immune system. The sun appears in journeys in many different ways so be sure to release your expectations about what it will be like. The heat of this journey will actually raise your physical body temperature, so be prepared and allow yourself to tangibly feel the warming, pulsating energy flow through you. I learned when reading about hydrotherapy that viruses are adversely affected by raising body temperature. It's no wonder that physical healing is a direct benefit from this journey. On a dark, cloudy day, this journey will bring uplifting light and sunshine into your life and clear away any dark funk, depression, and energetic congestion, helping you to feel clear and energized. Many people find that journeys into nature, to power places, and to Nature Spirits can be especially healing. Nature spirits are the middle-world spirits of nature such as trees, rocks, plants, the elements, weather, etc. Nature spirits also include the energy of places, the guardians of places, and the little people, such as gnomes, elves, and faeries that live in our yards, gardens, and surroundings. Journeys to the little people are particularly helpful for obtaining advice on healing herbs, homeopathic remedies, and the healing energy of nature. Power places are actual places in nature that you have physically visited, where your soul-self connects on a deep energetic and spiritual level with the energies of the land and the Spirits who live there. Unfortunately, it is often difficult, if not impossible, for us to spend much time in these places because of our busy schedules, illness limitations, or travel time and energy if your favorite power places are hours or days away from home. So do the next best thing, journey with the intention to be there, feeling and connecting with the energy. It's like taking a vacation without leaving home. This journey is especially beneficial if you are ill and unable to get out in nature physically. Drawing in the power of nature and the earth and breathing in the fresh outdoor air can be exhilarating and healing. In addition to the journeys just mentioned, journeying to the upper, middle, and lower worlds into awareness, enlightenment, and transcendence can be incredible learnings that go on and on. They may teach you about your true Spirit soul essence and your entire, full potential. They may also teach you about living outside of "the matrix" and learning of your "mya." Your mya is a Tibetan shamanism term for the illusions that prevent you from self-actualizing, the illusions that pull you away from

living your soul dream. As you explore the multitudes of possibilities in personal journeying, it is crucial to your healing that you bring your lessons from journeying into your real everyday life through interpretation. When you journey, if you are unclear of the messages or teachings, sit with the information and the details of the journey and let this simmer within you. Journeys can be interpreted in a myriad of different ways, so check with your inner self to see if you feel the ring of truth resonate with your analysis. You may also choose to journey again to the same or a different Spirit Teacher and ask for clarification. It is okay for you to ask your Spirit Teachers to be patient with you and to help you understand. You may also ask to dream about the subject for clarification. Dreams and journeys are very similar and some times are one and the same. Stating the intent to dream about this subject, and to remember the dream, three times before you fall asleep may provide results. Remember you are in charge of your life. It is up to you to interpret Spirit information and utilize this in your life, as you deem appropriate. I do not recommend that you make any major life changes based on journey information without substantial ordinary world confirmation, plenty of time, and judicious consideration. Spirit is the guidepost, the illusion-buster, and the truth revealer. You are in charge of your life and how you will best use journey information. You are the decision-maker. Writing up your journeys, dreams, and interpretation ideas in a journal is highly recommended. This may help you find clarity with issues you might not recognize otherwise. Buy or make a beautiful journal that appeals to you. This becomes your best friend, that "being" that you can talk to about all of your issues, pains, frustrations, joys, and loves. Writing helps to focus thoughts and allow the flow of information to come from you onto the paper so that you can see in words what is happening. This also helps reveal the patterns and underlying beliefs important to uncovering your soul-self. Blending the personal journey with the Psyche Inventory process, described in chapter 9, is a profoundly effective way to interpret the messages of your journeys for utilization toward enlightenment and personal healing. Through truth-revealing journeys, you can ask to be shown areas of your life and functioning where refinement would benefit your health. These journeys are excellent springboards into deep psychological healing. With truth as your ally, you can bust through the illusions of who you think you are and who society has programmed you to be, into who you really are and want to be. Important healing comes from exploring and becoming aware of your agreements, beliefs, behaviors, fears, identifications, and illusions, not only to heal your body but for personal growth. Journeying to these core hidden doctrines is a powerful self-healing arsenal that will prove instrumental in gaining truth and insight. Once uncovered, you will be able to make choices about what beliefs, behaviors, and identities you want to keep and which are no longer useful. I recommend journeying to both your lower- and upper-world Spirit Teachers for these journeys to gain insight from a variety of sources. Adding the wisdom of these journeys to the Psyche Inventory process will speed up your physical healing and your path to enlightenment. The following example of uncovering hidden

agreements and beliefs is briefly described to illustrate the technique of combining journeying with the Psyche Inventory. Perhaps this will give you ideas on how to begin to use the combination of these techniques for your growth and healing. It was very difficult to reveal a core belief that was so deeply ingrained that it seemed it was actually me. Journeying yielded powerful results. Gliding into the otherworld within, I asked for guidance about my self, agreements, beliefs, behaviors, and programs. I asked for clarity and the ability to see beyond my identifications and illusions. By journeying with the intention of unveiling unconscious agreements, the Spirits told and showed me that I had agreed to a common patriarchal tenet that being a powerful and outspoken woman was brash and improper. At first when I returned from this journey I was taken aback by this idea, but then began to feel the truth bubble up inside of me as I sat quietly and pondered. Applying this newly revealed truth to the Psyche Inventory process, I unraveled a problematic behavior response of relinquishing my power to others, especially men. I remembered all the times I did not stand up for myself and allowed another person to control my thoughts and behaviors because of this unconscious agreement. I recalled how it felt to have my power sucked out of me like a popped and deflating balloon. Since that revelation, with continued journeying and processing, I am able to see how deeply ingrained that belief was, and I have made the conscious choice to change both the agreement and the behavior. The truth-revealing teachings of many journeys have shown me how this and other unconscious agreements created energy loss. Obviously, in this example, the manifesting behavior of relinquishing my power to others caused precious energy to drain away, but I was also shown a deeper truth. Unconscious agreements and their manifesting behaviors require energy to remain in existence, energy that we could be using for health and life pursuits. This energy drain slowly sucks personal power away from our energy field unbeknown to us. We can reclaim our energy and personal power by exploring and rethinking our agreements and beliefs. By freeing ourselves from the chains of the past, we can live fully in the present, making choices based on our best interests rather than old programs. Based on this example you can see how blending personal journeying with the Psyche Inventory enhances our process of uncovering hidden agreements and beliefs. These concealed aspects of ourselves, protected by the ego defense, can be unveiled via the journey and then processed and released by the Psyche Inventory. The truths revealed to me about myself during journeys have been so profound I don't think I could have uncovered them in any other way. My strong ego defense had blinded me to the obvious, and I spent years tripping over the same illusions until learning to journey. The technique of journeying effectively bypassed my ego defense and combined with the Psyche Inventory process immensely enhanced my ability to get to the bottom of my core energy-draining issues. In all of this discussion about uncovering limitations, it's important to recognize that Spirit's

objective is to enhance your personal power and your strengths. Showing you where to clear away the old baggage is just one way of doing this. Journeying and the Psyche Inventory are not just about dredging up the monsters within. They make you aware of what works for you as well. It's important to keep in mind when searching to uncover your hidden demons that you don't overlook your attributes. Indeed, not all of your beliefs are dysfunctional. You have made many unconscious agreements that are healthy and essential to your successful functioning. In your continual exploration, you will be shown many agreements and beliefs that remain useful and important, so you can choose to keep these. Spirit shows you these attributes and strengths so that you may utilize them in your life and enhance them for healing and enlightenment. In this way, Spirit effectively empowers us to be wise masters of our lives by teaching us how to live in awareness, harmony, and balance, always learning, and always growing.

Journeying is an experiential technique. Because of this, it is difficult to fully understand the nature of personal journeying through descriptions and discussions. To provide clarity and understanding, in addition to introducing you to the worlds and wisdom of the Spirits, the following personal journey stories and the next chapter are an adventure into the otherworlds via personal journey descriptions that will illustrate the powerful healing proficiency of this technique. HEALING INSIGHTS This self-explanatory story from Jan describes the healing powers of journeying. She writes: "I began doing shamanic journeys in 1992, when I bought a tape telling you how to journey on one side and drumming on the other. I journeyed once in awhile when I felt like it, but not regularly. One day at work, in May of 1998, I went numb from my breasts down. After many tests, tears, and aggravation I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Shortly after, a group of friends and I contacted Colleen to learn journeying and shamanism. It felt like a homecoming. I was also drawn to learn Reiki from her. My MS has ups and downs, and through it all I keep healing. I have had several amazing healing experiences and have come to the conclusion that I am not defined by the M.S., and that healing doesn't necessarily mean no MS symptoms. However, the MS has been in almost total remission for nearly a year, with symptoms only acting up when I am not connected to Spirit. Our group gets together with Colleen about once a month and I want to share two experiences we had. In one, we were to journey to the far reaches of the universe where the horizon ends. I did and fell through an opening in the ground. After falling a good distance, I landed in a dimly lit, smoke-filled, stinking of spilled alcohol and stale cigarettes room with a piano, several tables and chairs, and a typical obnoxious lounge singer with a microphone singing `Feelings' (kind of like Bill Murray on

Saturday Night Live). Needless to say this was not a typical journey scenario ... He leaned over and told me he was my ego. I thought, `Oh great! My ego is a cheesy lounge lizard ... what does that say about me?' I plopped down in a chair. He leaned over my table (with a nasty cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a cocktail in one hand) and sang `It's time for me to die and you have to kill me.' Well, I'm basically not comfortable killing things (I even take spiders outside instead of squashing them), so I told him no, he should just go away. He sang (in the most annoying way) that for me to heal I need to move past my ego and he had to die. We ended up getting in this argument with me telling him I wasn't going to kill him and him singing loudly that I had to. He was really getting on my nerves, singing louder and louder, cheesier and cheesier, and I began to want to kill him. The more I wanted to kill him the worse he got. I held my hands over my ears and that just seemed to amplify him. I finally jumped up and put my hands over his mouth and began squeezing. He started shrinking and as he shrunk I began feeling better and better. I felt freer and more open as he shrank until he was just a tiny little lounge singer in the palm of my hand and I closed my palm and he disappeared. I felt a clearness I seldom felt, and a realization of how the ego keeps us from connecting with others and with Spirit. About that time the callback started and I returned to the room laughing. I am forever changed! The second experience was even more totally life changing. Colleen instructed us to go to a place in the east direction in the middle-world called Indra Lok. This is a place Colleen learned about from Larry Peters, a master in Tibetan shamanism. It is a place where people have everything. She told us the people there have every material thing but no substance, compassion, or love. She said to seek the Buddha there who would have sacred water, light, or a mantra to help heal. I can't remember exactly how it happened, rather just what happened. I journeyed across a rainbow bridge into Indra Lok where I was taken to a pool. The Buddha was there and he asked me if I wanted to be healed of multiple sclerosis. This totally set me back on my heels. Of course I want to be healed, but I was afraid to trust that it was possible. It's like a spiritual jumping into the void with trust in Spirit, trust in shamanism, trust in healing, and trust in myself. The Buddha just sat quietly, smiling softly, and I went into this fear. I worked through it and said `Yes! I want to be healed from MS!' I felt a rush of adrenalin as I dove into the water. I began to dissolve into the water and began swirling around the water, unable to tell what was the water and what was me. Eventually, I reformed and emerged from the water. The Buddha said, `You are now healed from multiple sclerosis on the spiritual level.' `What does that mean?' I asked. `It means what you dare it to mean,' he said. The drumbeat changed and I was called back to this reality, with tears of gratitude rolling down my cheeks. I have been symptom-free since then. What the future holds I don't know, but I do know I was truly healed on the spiritual level on that day. What that will bring to the physical level I don't know, but I do know how this shamanic practice will continue to be a major part of my healing journey! Love, Jan." HEALING INSIGHTS These journey accounts from Durrette further attest to the self-healing and personalgrowth powers of

journeying. She writes: "On September 5, 2002, I journeyed with the intent to find the tension in the world and explore how to release it. I was taken to the middle-world by my wolf Power Animal. I saw the soul and Spirit of Mother Earth as a beautiful living being that came up out of the earth. Her heart was tense and her circulation was breaking down. She said, `Open your heart. It will help others to repair their own hearts. Each healing heart heals a small piece of the Earth Mother and decreases world tension.' I then found myself talking with three friends. We paired off in twos and faced each other, holding left hands and putting our own right hand on the other person's heart chakra, letting immensely powerful yet peaceful love and joy flow. We rotated and did this with each person present with my husband, Carl, being the last person. He and I then hugged each other and this beautiful spirit that is Mother Earth. Earth told us that one of the most important ways a person may help heal her is to not allow ourselves to be hurt, not to take other people's hurtful words and actions into ourselves as a wound, for then there will not be a wound reflected in her. She added, `As you heal your wounds and help heal the wounds of others, the planet earth heals.' The journey ended with her telling us it is important to be good stewards to the land in our protection. I held out my hand and she dropped a beautiful ivy leaf into it. It was so real that I expected it to be in my hand when I returned to the room, and it was, energetically. I could feel it and I still carry it with me in remembrance of this powerful journey." Durrette goes on to write: "In another experience I had been having trouble breathing for about two weeks and also trouble with a slight pain in my heart. It hurt more when I took in deep breaths. I journeyed with the intention to heal my body, mind, and spirit by releasing and returning with grace any energy that I have that belongs to someone else. They may accept their energy back when they choose to, at their own time. Also I chose to bring my own energy back into myself that I may become whole for the highest good of all. The following is a description of that journey. I was taken to the upper-world to my sacred healing medicine place. Surrounding me were several of my familiar Power Animals and Spirit Teachers. One by one I thought of the people I love. When I came to my mom, I felt pain in my heart. I love her and would like only peace and love in our relationship. It was a powerful journey. The Spirits held a space for me and I began to cry. They told me that I,

not my mom, was the largest pain in my heart. I began asking to fill up with the truth as opposed to any self-defeating thoughts and I called love, beauty, strength, compassion, and oneness to me. I returned to the room feeling awe and a sense of peace, with my breathing more relaxed."

Journeying is your e-ticket pass to the totality of the universe. Explore!

Journeying is an experiential technique that is unique to each and every journeyer, journeying time, journeying space, and journey. Because of this, it is difficult to fully understand the nature of personal journeying through descriptions and discussions. To provide clarity and understanding, in addition to helping you to explore the worlds and wisdom of the Spirits, this next chapter is an adventure into the otherworlds via personal journey descriptions that will further illustrate the powerful healing proficiency of this technique.

Journeying is an experiential discipline. It can only be fully understood within that context. Because of this, it is often very difficult to grasp the nature of journeying until you have done it. Up to that point, it may even seem a little frightening or, at the very least, confusing. In order to give you a bit of perspective, I have compiled a set of personal journeys that I have experienced to introduce you to the world of the Spirits and the web of life that has been integral to my recovery and the development of my awareness. In this chapter you will find descriptions and interpretations of my experiences intended to give you some idea of what you might experience in your journeys. These may also give you ideas of intentions for your journeys. I recommend that you journey daily and that you vary the intentions of your journeys to help you with whatever is happening in your life, body, mind, emotions, and soul. Sometimes when you journey, you may have a lot of inner mental and emotional work to do so use the journey with the Psyche Inventory process to help provide guidance and clarity. Sometimes your body will be low on vital life-force energy so journey to re-energize and heal your body. Sometimes you may find that you have become disconnected with your soul-self, Spirit Teachers, and/or the Great Web of Life, so journey to reconnect. Journeys are invaluable if you search for understanding, awareness, personal growth, and enlightenment, so I have included examples of all of these types of journey experiences throughout this chapter. Although each journeyer experiences the Spirit worlds in unique ways, many aspects are often similar. In my practice, I have found that it is beneficial for the beginner to learn about Spirit world possibilities and frames of reference by sharing with others. The first series of journeys guide the reader into the landscapes of the lower, upper, and middle Spirit worlds as I experience them. Following these is a series of movement journeys, demonstrating that not all journeys occur while lying down or when listening to rhythmic drumming. The more experience we gain through the classic journey (explained in chapter 7), the more we open to the possibilities of spontaneous journeying and journeying by different methods. For many, the monotonous repetition of movement may facilitate the same altered consciousness effect as a rhythmic instrument. The next series of journeys describe the power of self-healing using the shamanic journey. All shamanic journeying creates a direct link to the divine energy that flows through the entire universe. Connecting with this energy flow increases the vibrational rate of our personal energy, facilitating physical regeneration. It is through these self-healing journeys that we intentionally open and invite this flow of universal energy. The last few journeys described in this chapter are journeys I have taken with the intention of acquiring awareness. Through these awareness journeys, the Spirits have gifted me with profoundly illuminating and inspirational insight, wisdom, truth, knowledge, and guidance. Generous in their

tutelage, the Spirits share awareness that is deeply personal and significant to my life path. These teachings have given me the insights and support needed to maintain my sanity through the arduous healing process and into the final death of the elusive illness and my ego-defense holdouts. Via these awareness journeys, I am granted perception into aspects of myself and my world that I might not be able to unveil otherwise. Always eye-opening, occasionally agonizing, and always at my request, Spirit will reveal my character dysfunctions in order that I may choose to heal them. With love and compassion, my helping Spirits have the uncanny ability to expose my darkest inner villains and uncloak my deepest fears. With equal compassion, they bring to light my strengths and teach me how to build upon them in order to stand in my personal power. Many of the awareness journeys described here reveal how the mysteries of my being continue to unravel, moving me toward physical health and spiritual enlightenment. Capitalizing on my need for personal healing and growth, the wise Spirits have utilized my receptiveness to begin teaching me the great mysteries of life. Through these awareness journeys, insights into global enlightenment and healing for all of life are being taught. It is via these journeys that I am being guided to practice shamanism not only for healing myself, but for empowering others to heal as well. I invite you to look for the universal messages as you read these journeys. As stated before, the landscape of journeys varies with each individual journeyer, journey, and Spirit Teacher. No two journeys are ever exactly the same, even for the same journeyer, traveling to the same Spirit Teacher, in the same Spirit world, for the same reason. Therefore, journeys defy comparison and judgment and should simply be experienced and then gleaned for wisdom. Your journeys will most likely appear very different from mine. Please know that this does not mean you are doing something incorrectly. This is simply the nature of journeying. We are all unique with special gifts and needs, so it only makes sense that our journeys and teachings would reflect this individual uniqueness. In my journey descriptions, I fondly refer to my "magic blanket," which is a comfortable polar fleece blanket printed with colorful geometric designs, that travels with me to most trainings and group journey activities. Like a magic carpet, this blanket lies underneath me as I travel through the mystical new worlds of the web and the Spirit realm. I also refer to a rhythmic drumbeat that typically comes from playing a compact disc produced by the Foundation for Shamanic Studies. However, many times I will also sit comfortably and journey to the sound of my own drumming. Let's travel now to the realms of possibility. Relax. Make yourself comfortable. Take in a deep breath. Feel the beat of your heart. Open your mind. Allow yourself to be transported into the magical worlds of health, wisdom, truth, and enlightenment via the shamanic journey. Lower-World Journey

Journeying to the lower-world is an effective way to connect with the divine Spirits who reside there, tapping into the universal life-force energy of the lower-world, and grounding with the energy of the earth. I lay on my magic blanket as the drumbeat shifts my awareness and I repeat the intention of the journey three times. Focusing my awareness to my departure point, I feel my physical body relax. My spirit-self dances around the campfire at the border where forest and meadow meet on the thirty-eight acres I own with my family. I feel my power begin to rise. I feel the energy flow through me as my rhythmic two-step moves into a flowing whirl of ecstasy. My body begins to grow feathers and wings, and soon I am swirling over the top of the campfire as an owl. I soar low over the wildflowers and bees of the meadow and dive headfirst into the murky swamp. The cool refreshing water yields the tunnel that carries me to the lower-world. Dark and cool, the welcoming tunnel vibrates with the undulations of the heartbeat of our Mother Earth. I pass quickly into the lower-world and arrive at the first level where snowcapped mountainous peaks, virgin forests, pristine rivers, and deep, clear blue lakes greet me. My Power Animal, the noble moose, meets me and I immediately throw my arms around his neck in welcoming embrace. He is not particularly affectionate, but I know he appreciates the Spirit connecting touch. Today the intention of my journey is simply to go to this place in the lower-world to power-fill with earth energy and to play with my Power Animal. He enjoys these journeys where we don't have a mission to complete and he can simply share with me the serenity of this most beautiful place. Hiking over mountain passes, forging great rivers, and frolicking in cold crystal clear lakes my soul is filled with the food of nature, Spirit, and the earth. The ecstasy I feel is profound and my heart swells with gratitude. Energy courses through my veins and I am vibrant and whole once more; the ravages of stress are gone from my world for now. Lazing in the pineforested mountainside, I lay against the soft hair of my moose ally and feel the strong protection he brings to my being. He acknowledges my appreciation of our partnership with a nod. I am filled with the knowing that I am healed by this love relationship with Spirit. As if on cue, the callback drumbeat sounds, and reluctantly I rise, bid farewell with deep gratitude, and hurry back up the tunnel to the swamp, the meadow, and the campfire. I gather myself for a moment and then return to my body in this room. This journey occurred early in the beginning of my journeying experiences and was probably about the fifth or sixth journey I had taken at that point. I was looking forward to connecting with the powerful energy of journeying so, when the drumming tape started, I was so excited that I had a hard time relaxing into the journey, and I was afraid that nothing was going to happen. That was the last conscious thought I remembered until the drumming callback finished. Groggily, I sat up on my magic blanket and scooted back to lean against the wall to write. I sat quietly until conscious thought slowly began to return. As I began journaling my experience, a gradual awareness began to sink in that something very profound had just happened to me. I felt like I had been gone from my ordinary reality and in a trance state of consciousness for a long time, even though it was only about fifteen minutes. I

also felt a tingling buzz of energy coursing through my body and yet I felt incredibly rested and calm at the same time. I couldn't get over how incredibly full I felt. Full of energy, full of life, full of that moose, and full of myself. This experience of meeting and connecting with my Power Animal again was electrifying. Up until my first journey about a week prior, I had no real concept of the power of connecting with spirits. Now, I completely understood why they call them Power Animals. At the same time, the experiences I had in my journeys were so mind-blowing it was almost inconceivable. I had cognitively understood the concept of Power Animals from reading and from my contact with Native peoples at powwows, but personally experiencing it over and over again was amazing and unbelievable. As I wrote down the details of my journey and my feelings, my conscious critical mind kept telling me that this whole thing was crazy and only a figment of my imagination, but every other facet of my being knew the validity and truth of my experience. I shook my head to release the confusion, because there was no denying that I had really been to this incredible place and had actually met with my Power Animal in a tangible, physical way. I couldn't seem to understand it yet, but I could sure feel it. I was filled with so much energy that I had to contain myself from running around the neighborhood and telling everyone how wonderful I felt and how incredible my moose was. Suddenly my writing stopped in mid-sentence as a profound realization struck me. Just twenty minutes prior I had been tired and feeling achy and wasn't sure if I could make it through the rest of my daily responsibilities. What a shock, and what a change. Could a person really fill with that much energy from journeying? I wondered. The answer, a definite yes, evidenced from this experience, became even more pronounced with the subsequent journeys of my ongoing daily journey practice. This experience proved to be just the beginning of my learning about tapping into the incredible power that is available every time I connect with Spirit and my soul-self through journeying. Upper-World journey Journeying to the upper-world is effective for connecting with the divine Spirits who reside there and tapping into the universal life-force energy of the upper-world. Lying on the floor on my special magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times. The drumbeat carries me away to dance at the campfire of my sacred departure point in that place where meadow meets forest. The power rises in me as the dance quickens, and the feathers and wings form where once was my body. I take flight on the smoke from the fire and travel upwards through the blue sky that changes into the black starlit universe and beyond. Moving through the membrane that separates the worlds, I enter a body of tranquil turquoise water like that of the ocean. I frolic with dolphins and glide with whales, listening to their calls with my ears and feeling the vibrations of their underwater language in my body. I tingle all over with the sensuality of flowing with the ocean and these magnificent loving beings. Soon I find myself alone, lying on the small white sandy beach

surrounded by lush tropical vegetation, rain-forested mountains, and crystalline waterfalls. I stand naked under the water that spills from the jagged rocky peak and feel the cleansing reverberate through my entire being. Instantaneously, I soar through the water on wings of a bird to the mountain peak and beyond. I slip through the rainbow spirals that separate the levels of my upper-world terrain and glide gently down to a mountain plateau where I am greeted by an ancient master shaman who tells me that I am his Great Granddaughter. He embraces me with a warm, welcoming hug that fills my being with an immediate understanding of his wise and gentle essence. The soft hide of his shirt and the smell of the herbs in his hair send my senses into familiar recognition. My soul-self deep within me allows his energy to enter mine, and he communicates profound teachings of the Great Mysteries into my heart. He shares that he teaches in this way because the mind has great power to learn but is also vulnerable to becoming ensnared by illusion. The heart has a greater capacity to learn and teachings sunk into the heart cannot elude us. The intention of this journey is to simply be in the upper-world with my Teachers and to fill with power, so we sit at the campfire on the mountain plateau gazing out at the surrounding peaks and valleys that seem to go on and on forever. The air is thin and clean, yet dusted with misty emaciated clouds giving a surreal feeling. I breathe deeply of the life force here and bring it into my body. I am vaguely aware of my physical body lying on the blanket twitching with vibrations and rapture, but I don't really feel it. All too soon, the sound of the changing callback drumbeat enters my being from a distance, and I know I must return. Embracing Great Grandfather with loving gratitude, I soar down the steep mountainside through the rainbow spiraling layers, the starlit universe, and the clear blue sky to the smoke of the campfire. Landing in a nearby tree, I scan the landscape and then return to the ground. In a moment, I am back in my body in my healing room, in awe of my mind-blowing travels. After allowing myself to slowly return to ordinary world consciousness, I began to journal the details, thoughts, and feelings of my journey. As I scrawled out the first few words, I felt a strange mix of feelings in my body. Immediately I was most aware that I felt sad; I hadn't wanted to come back from this journey. I found it to be so incredible in the upperworld, so powerful and so mystical. I also felt very calm and relaxed while, at the same time enlivened by a pulsating vital energy that ran all through the inside of my body. Having the opportunity to meet my powerful shaman Spirit Teacher, Great Grandfather, was deeply moving. Connecting with him ignited the inner fire of my deeply hidden soul-self and sent powerful energy throughout my depleted body. His teachings fed my hungry mind and soul. I felt so incredibly strong and vibrant, happy, and at peace. What is this strange mix of thoughts and feelings? I wondered. My inner wisdom instantly answered that this is the ecstasy and fulfillment of soul-self and Spirit connection. Middle-World. Journey Journeying in the middle-world is useful for connecting with the divine Spirits who reside there, tapping into the universal life-force energy of the middle-world and healing work.

Lying on my magic blanket, the drumbeat begins to carry me away to the Spirit otherworld. I repeat the intention of my journey three times. Today the intention for my mid dle-world journey is to revisit the home I have found in this world that fills me with power and protection. I slowly walk down the river that flows in my mind. The bank is made of red clay that squishes between my toes and supports a sea of green horsetail reeds. I love this feeling and wiggle my toes in delight. From nowhere a little red canoe glides to rest at the bank and silently beckons me to enter. I slip into the canoe and relax on the soft cushy seat as it pulls away from the bank and flows gently downstream under the power of the river herself. The forested riverbanks are filled with mammoth willow trees and smaller willow bushes that are lush with the pussy-willow catkins of spring. Reaching my hand into the river, she feels cool and refreshing. The sun sparkles on the pristine water as I am lulled into the Spirit otherworld. My little red canoe comes gently to rest upon the sandy beach at the opposite riverbank. Disembarking, I step onto the earth and feel the warm sand beneath my bare feet. Resting for a moment, I sit and feel the heartbeat of Mother Earth below me. I thank her for the life upon her. The warm, enticing sun pulls my attention skyward, and I thank Father Sky for life as well. I feel the blanketed hug of these two ancestors holding me in a sandwiched embrace of love. Feeling an inner calling to move on, I turn and enter the immense evergreen forest that saturates my senses with the refreshing smell of pine. The wind whispers gently through the needles, speaking of the great mysteries and enticing me to move forward. The softly needled forest floor pads my hike as I journey forth into the unknown. Sunshine fills my soul, and the forest gives way to a majestic meadow of wildflowers, a trickling stream, and a small, round log cabin. The meadow is alive with rainbows of colorful flowers that attract butterflies, birds, and bees. Moose graze on the pond grasses near the entrance of the cabin that is my otherworld home. Strolling up the stone-lined walkway, I enter through the rough-cut wooden door. The one-room circular cabin has hard wood floors with simple furnishings, a small bed, a stand with an old-fashioned pitcher and bowl filled with water, and a circular fireplace in the center of the room surrounded by a braided rug and four wooden rocking chairs. The fire is burning brightly, having been recently tended by the gnome who is sitting in one of the rocking chairs. This is Badge, one of my Spirit Teachers. He welcomes me with a nod and scurries off to handle some other pressing business. One rocking chair is mine, and I sit for a moment to warm by the fire. The other rockers are occupied by two more of my Spirit Teachers, Rainbow Wind and Running Wolf. Rainbow Wind teaches me about healing with plant Spirits and the ever-moving electrifying rainbow energy of the aurora borealis. Running Wolf often teaches me about forest lore, tracking, hunting, and warrior skills. Both teachers welcome me to my home with the exuberance of long lost friends. Knowing we have no work to accomplish today on this visit, we wander out onto the grounds to revel in the beauty of this tranquil space. Beyond the back of the cabin, the meadow edges into a forest that climbs the mountains until the air is too thin for growth. Streams flow giving life to waterfalls and rapids whose rushing water fills the air with excitement. Beavers engineer their mastery of the river currents, creating ponds teeming with life. The air here is sparkling clean, and the deep breaths clear my lungs of congestion. Glorious ecstasy fills my being with an aliveness that carries

over into my everyday walk in my world. Breathing deeply once more, it is time to retrace my steps and return to my body. Expressing thanks and farewells to my Spirit Teachers, I re-enter the pine forest that envelops the river of otherworld travel. Spilling out onto the riverbank, the forest reveals my little red canoe that carries me safely back upstream to my departure point. I disembark, stepping delightedly into the squishing red clay, and reluctantly climb the bank. The canoe drifts away until next time, and I return to my body in this room. I gently allow myself to return to full ordinary world consciousness and journal the details, thoughts, and feelings of my journey. In this middle-world journey, I had revisited my otherworld home, a warm cozy place of comfort and safety with a center hearth surrounded by solitude and my favorite things of nature. The energy there is calm and peaceful, a metaphoric expression of the inner stillness that lives deep within me in my soul-self I go there often on journeys to re-ignite my lifeforce energy with Spirit essence and the center soul fire to boost my personal energy and immune system. Amazingly, when I journey to my otherworld home in the middle-world, my physical body temperature actually raises at least one half of a degree, and I return feeling sunny, solid, and strong inside. When I am there, I am in touch with my true nature, my primal soul-self, in an intimate unequivocal way. Because of this, not only is this journey good for centering and reconnecting with Spirit, but for connecting with the inner wisdom of my soul-self as well. Movement Journeys Movement journeying integrates the experience of the journey tangibly into the physical body and may make it more vivid and accessible. It takes us into an altered awareness of our present surroundings and our internal workings through repetitive movement of some type. In my experience, this journey is typically a middle-world journey where we stay in the vicinity of our body and are able to connect with the spiritual aspects of our surroundings. Different cultures utilize different methods to achieve this altered state. For example, many Celtic women gifted with "the sight" journeyed while weaving. Running as a journey The realization that running is a journey occurred to me during one such run while in shamanic training in upstate New York. The journey is as follows. Day is dawning as I awaken, pull on my running clothes, and head out the cabin door. The autumn trees are fluorescent in their autumn dress of golds and reds. A thick, moist fog clings to the earth in a desperate attempt to hug the trees as the rising sun works to melt it away. Aware of the absolute stillness, I run down the narrow country road. The cool, moist air enters my lungs as I breathe deeply, and my awareness follows it to the depths of my being. A calm peacefulness settles into my run and my consciousness. My mind is cleansed from the clutter of daily living, and my spirit soars alongside

my body, witnessing the strong muscles expanding and contracting. I am aware of a change in consciousness and allow it to flow. The rhythm of my feet tapping the road is the drumbeat that carries my Spirit outward. This is life, I observe, as the chipmunk to my left begins to stir, chattering in protest of my intrusion. Like me, he was enjoying the quiet stillness of the morning, the time when all things wake anew and quiet envelopes life. I move softly down the road leaving the chattering chipmunk to his territory. A glow catches my eye, moving through the wooded area into the meadow. I sight a doe encircled in her aura at the same time she notices me. I slow my pace, agape with wonder, as I watch her and her energy. The steam of my perspiration swirls around me as it makes contact with the cool morning air. The doe and I stand in awe of each other, and I wonder if she sees my energy too. The connection between us is tangible, and we feel a soul-touch, one to the other, feeling the life force moving between us. Her breath is hot as it jets into the cold air creating twin plumes of mist. Mine does the same, and our breath and essences mix with the moist air of the early morning fog. Our gazes are unable to release from one another, and we sense each other with the entirety of our beings. Cold seeps into my skin as the sweat drips down my torso under the light capilene shirt I am wearing. My body has begun to cool down from standing still. As if on cue, she becomes aware that she has also been still too long and quickly trots off toward the woods drafting a scarce trail of glowing energy behind her. Returning toward the institute, I slip down to the lake in an attempt to see the geese I hear. The fog is thick over the lake, hiding the geese behind its impermeable curtain. The tai chi group stands in silence on the beach with arms outstretched and one leg up, appearing poised to take to flight in the thick morning air. The mist surrounding them and their energy fields gives the illusion of a mystical ancient time when man was in balance with nature. My heart sings with the connection and flow of these energy practitioners as I too feel this whenever I run. Returning to the road, I feel my body glide along its curves, up and down and around I flow, breathing, moving, flowing, soaring, and reveling in my true love of running. My awareness drifts internally as I appreciate the return of this important aspect of my life along with the return of health, balance, and well-being. Rounding the curve of the road, I am greeted by an incredible sound above me that I do not recognize. I look up and witness the most glorious sight of seven swans flying just above the treetops. Illuminated by the rising sun, these huge white birds glow through the fog as if caught in a mystical spotlight. Their massive wings catch the thick air and create a rhythmic beat that reverberates with each wing-beat. I am ecstatic. My Spirit reaches out to them, and they look down at me, turning their long necks. Could it be that they really see me here in the fog or do they sense my Spirit soaring with them just above me? I wonder. The Spirit of the swan is one of the totem powers that lends itself to my shamanic work. The omen is good, and I appreciate the message of the power of connecting with Spirit through my love of running.

Filled with the ecstasy of Spirit power, I return to the cabin that is my home away from home for a week while I receive training in some of the more advanced shamanic techniques. Rejoicing in my return to health and life, I recall a little less than a year ago when I could not have committed to take this training due to CFIDS and fibromyalgia. A training of this magnitude (one week, 9 AM to 10 PM each day, with out-of-state travel) would have been impossible back then, and rising before dawn to go for a quiet run down a backcountry road was far too painful. I thank the Spirits out loud as I step under the warm water of the shower, and my thoughts drift away from that unpleasant past and back into the much happier present. Walking to breakfast through the bountiful garden, I sense the Plant Spirits talk to me of life, openly and abundantly sharing their greenness. Feeling full of life and energy is something most people take for granted. The Plant Spirits say I have been gifted the return of life through my endless internal search toward enlightenment and as reward for enduring the pain of this struggle. I am forever awake, aware, and alive. Sitting with the flowers, I gather my Spirit energy back into my body to return from this incredible middle-world living journey. From this experience, I recognized that the connected and euphoric feeling of being in "the zone" that I feel when I run can be allowed to move a little further into a full journey, so I practice this now on my daily runs. I am fortunate to have a small woods and park close to my home to run through where I don't have to constantly be on guard for traffic. As my muscles ease into the rhythmic movement of running, I allow my consciousness to shift and my soul to travel to the Spirit otherworlds while the observing parts of my conscious mind remain alert to what is going on in and around me. Throughout my run, I tap into the calm peaceful centeredness and Spirit guidance I derive from journeying, while nurturing my body with exercise. I have found that this same practice works with any type of solo exercise like walking, weight lifting, bicycling, shooting baskets, practicing tennis or a golf swing, or yoga. By using the rhythmic movement of my athletic workouts, I can journey anytime I exercise. This allows me the opportunity to connect with my soul-self, Spirit Teachers, and the Great Web of Life at other times besides my allocated daily morning journey, thus helping me to stay more connected, aware, and healthy all day. Using the rhythmic movement of exercise is also excellent for those who have trouble quieting their mind chatter or making the time for a separate daily spiritual practice. Movement Journey-Wood Spiraling As in all movement journeys, the purpose of the movement is to occupy the conscious critical mind and allow an altered consciousness to evolve. The nature of the activity is irrelevant. Wood spiraling is drawing spirals with a piece of wood on another surface for protracted periods of time, often for several hours. Compelled to be near the swamp, I chose to do my wood spiraling journey on a fallen grandfather

log close to the water. I have recently been experiencing painful headaches with swelling and pressure in my head. I journeyed on this issue earlier in the week but needed more clarity. I therefore spiraled with the question of this physical challenge in my thoughts and spoke this intention to the Spirits. Drawing and drawing and drawing, I noticed the inner spiral forming on the log and noticed the same happening within me. The more I drew, the further inward I went. The further inward I went, the more expanded and further outward I found myself, as if the in were the out and the out were the in. The rhythm to the spiraling became noticeable, and I received the insight that there needed to be a rhythm to my eating patterns in order to maintain a balanced energy-flow through my body, thus affecting the head pain. Another insight flowed into my awareness about energy movement. The rhythm warned me of the dangers of pulling inside of myself. Energy is not to be hoarded and held but allowed to flow, drawing in and releasing back out the universal energy, not my personal energy. Frogs croaked the message of cleansing and redefining. I must redefine my purpose and intent of living. Ducks and geese who were floating and nesting talked to me about giving myself life and birthing the true me. Memories flooded my mind of earlier that morning as I left my mother's home and we hugged, and hugged, and tears flowed. Nothing was said, but something special was shared. It became obvious to me in this altered state of consciousness that she unconsciously felt the "real me" coming forth, and she gave her implicit okay for it to happen. It had been a moment when she released all the unsaid expectations and was just allowing me to be me and, at the same time, admiring my bravery. Messages flowed into my journey in subtle waves addressing my learning to hold my power. Step into it and just hold it, the waves suggested. Don't heal with it, don't give it away, don't release it through activity, just be with it. Slow down. Feel the rhythms of life. I saw that I needed to let the energy flow through me as I lived my daily life. I needed to channel universal energy through me while holding my personal energy, anchoring it into my body with breathing and connecting with nature. A reminder of the head pain I had recently been experiencing resonated through my thoughts and, from somewhere, messages were communicated to me that I should not think so much. I needed to get out of my head and draw the thoughts down into my body, holding them in my solar plexus. Don't be afraid to feel thoughts, I was told. Notice the change in dealing with life through feeling in the body, instead of thinking in the mind. The messages continued to say that I am starving myself with eating improperly and using energy improperly. I needed to make eating fun, putting time and energy into the preparation of meals and making time to enjoy them. All this time, I was allowing the spiral energy to flow inward, inward, inward, only to find it

outward as well, ever expanding. The universe is within me, in my soul, my inner spiral. Gathering my energies back into my normal consciousness, I noticed that the spiraling had smoothed all the rough edges off of the piece of wood. An inner knowing drifted in that this smoothed piece of wood is a metaphor showing me that life is spiraling the rough edges off of me in the same way. I am becoming the smooth bark of enlightenment. I am becoming the true me. Wood spiraling or any similar kind of trance-inducing rhythmic movement is a great way to relax your body and mind to allow your inner wisdom to flow into your consciousness where it can be used for guidance. I like to use this journey when I am on vacation in a place of peaceful solitude or any time I get the opportunity to journey in quiet place, outdoors. Self-Healing Journeys Shamanic journeying creates a direct link to the divine life-force energy that increases the vibrational rate of our personal energy and facilitates physical regeneration. Self-healing journeys intentionally open and invite this flow of universal energy. Power Place Journeys Personal Power Places are places where our soul resonates with the universal life force that energizes and heals our bodies. The Power Place may or may not exist in physical reality. The Power Place you choose need only be a place where you can relax and be rejuvenated, and it is possible for you to have one, several, or many power places in one, two, or all three of the shamanic Spirit otherworlds. I like to refer to these places as Sacred Healing Medicine Places. You can reach your sacred healing medicine places via the shamanic journey by stating that the intention of your journey is to travel to your sacred healing medicine place in whichever world you choose or let Spirit decide which world by stating that in your intention as well. For example, the intention of my journey is to journey to my sacred healing medicine place in the middle-world to receive healing. Or, the intention of my journey is to journey to my sacred healing medicine place in any of the worlds that my Teachers choose. I often use these types of journeys for healing purposes, but any purpose is appropriate. Sacred Healing Medicine Place-Middle- World I lie down on my magic blanket, repeat the intention of my journey three times, and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to one of my favorite power places, Lake Superior Provincial Park in northern Ontario, Canada. I find myself in a canoe centered in a small pristine lake surrounded by virgin pine forest. In the quiet stillness of the misty morning, the lake is a mirror reflecting the red of my canoe and the greens of the trees. The sun begins to peek around the mountainside dancing off the reflection. The mysterious call of the loon echoes through the chill dawn, and my heart bursts with

connection. A loon swims up next to my canoe and preens herself while knowingly glancing my way. I simply sit and be, filling with the ethereal power of this sacred place where water, wood, earth, and sky unite. Movement to my left catches my attention and soon reveals a majestic bull moose stepping into the lily pads and swamp grasses. The awesome splendor of this mammoth creature fills my soul with a solidity that I personally lack. Lifting his massive rack from the depths of the pond, he gnaws on succulent horsetail roots while diamond water crystals drip from his antlers. He nods in acknowledgement of our soul connection. I am thrilled and power filled as my body reverberates on the magic blanket a million miles away, it seems, in ordinary reality. Gliding serenely into the landing strip of the beaver lodge, the great blue heron settles in to fish, seemingly undisturbed by my presence. I am awestruck by her grace and silently watch as she teaches me the power of quiet stillness. From somewhere above me, the eerie loon call awakens a longing within me to live forever in this place, to never leave the wild solitude that thrills and fills me. The mystical loon calls again and beckons me to come fly with her. Soaring placidly over the pine-dressed mountains, the shimmering lakes, and the multitudes of intertwining rivers, I breathe deeply of the clean, fresh air and am free. I rise hard and fast up the mountainside, racing a hawk and laughing with the thrill of flight and the freedom of my soul. The Guardian Spirit of this place appears as a vital native man of the forest welcoming me with warm embrace. He happily enjoys visitors of my kind traveling to honor the peace of his holy natural sanctuary. He is omnipresent wherever I soar, protecting the sacred space he adores. I gratefully thank him as I settle back into the little red canoe. Boldly, beaver pokes his head out of the lodge and streams across the mirror too busy to dally. The wake of his journey spreads and thins, softly lapping the bank, rippling the reflection of the blue flag water lily. From a distance, the echo of the changing drumbeat calls me to return from this tranquil land, and I reluctantly bid thanks and farewell to the Spirits who have graced my journey and shared their powerful essence with me. Returning to my body and ordinary consciousness, the potency of this sacred place strongly courses through my awareness, and I am electrified. Before taking this powerful journey, I was feeling low on energy and depressed, two symptoms that alert me that I have become disconnected with my soul-self and the flow of universal life-force energy. Many different kinds of journeys would have helped, but that day I felt that I needed to connect with the healing powers of nature. This was a problem because I was in the middle of a busy workday and didn't have time to go outside. So I did the next best thing. I laid down for a fifteenminute journey to visit my favorite place of solitude. As soon as the drumming began, my soul floated up north to that wild sacred place and the peacefulness of the wilderness solitude calmed my busy mind and relaxed my body. In this calm, relaxed state, my thick, sluggish energy began to flow freely, swirling and mixing with the powerful energy of my sacred healing place. I was instantly filled with an effervescent life-force energy that flowed through my body long after the journey was over. My Spirit Teachers came one-by-one into my journey to reconnect with me and bestow an additional boost of healing energy to my soul, energy field, and personal immune system. Within minutes of returning to ordinary consciousness from this journey, I was vibrant, energy-filled, and ready to get on with my

busy day. Sacred Healing Medicine Place-Lower- World Lying down on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my sacred departure point. A dancing whirlwind of power rises in my soul and my body transforms into feathers and wings. Soaring low over the flowered meadow, I dive into the swamp and head down toward the intended destination of my sacred healing medicine place in the lower-world. Today I have the body from hell, screaming with pain and fatigue, so I journey for healing. I careen down the tunnel and spill out into the mountain splendor of the lower-world where my moose and horse Power Animals await. Wasting no time, moose places me on a travois and majestically pulls me to a high mountaintop a great distance from the lake where he lives. Cresting the brush-covered peak, we descend down a ridge via the spiraling trail into the concave valley below. Winding and spiraling, winding and spiraling, winding and spiraling down, down, down, we travel deeper and deeper into my center and into the heart of the valley. The scrub sage-bordered path leads us to a narrow, hidden cave entrance at the bottom. moose pulls me into the dimly lit orifice of Mother Earth, and I am placed onto a healing bed of soft moss-covered stone. The soothing sounds of the trickling stream tickle my ears and calm my heart. The softly glowing fire near the stream warms my body as rainbow-light energy fills the cavern. Soft subtle vibrations move around and through my body as all of my Spirit Teachers circle me and place their hands, paws, and hooves upon my weakened body. The power of the healing intensifies, sending penetrating heat pulsating into my ravaged cells. My quiet mind rests even more deeply as my entire being opens with receptivity. Thoughts cease to exist, and I simply am. Electrifying impulses vibrate my flesh and ignite my inner flame. Swirling, spiraling rainbow colors flow about my soul emitting rejuvenating sparks. Space envelopes time, and nothing exists beyond this healing cave. Filling and becoming whole once more, my dry weakened aura sucks in the nurturance and love like a dried sponge returned to the water. Slowly, time comes into existence once more as the distant call of the drumbeat signals my return. Radiating with renewed vitality, I bound out of the cavern gratefully thanking my Teachers for their gift of healing. Skyrocketing up the mountainside on wing, the winding path shrinks into a faint spiral in the distance. Ascending the tunnel, I land back at the campfire edge before the drumbeat has stopped. Taking in a deep breath, I gather up the energy of the journey, bringing it deep within my body. Lying quietly with my journey, gratitude fills my soul. The energy of this healing place and the power of the treatment given to me by my Spirit Teachers was exquisite. Prior to taking this journey, I had been experiencing a relapse of chronic fatigue, immune depletion, feverish cold, and muscle aches and pains. This journey warmed my frozen body from the inside out and nurtured each wounded immune system cell in my exhausted body. I became filled with powerful energy that raised the vibrational rate of my energy field and boosted my immune system. Within minutes of returning from this journey, my body was strong, healthy, and symptom-

free. To me, this phenomenon is nothing short of amazing. I think it is simply fantastic that reconnecting with the power of my Spirit Teachers and the universal life force through journeying can bring about such powerful, tangible physical healing. Sacred Healing Medicine Place-Upper- World Lying down on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my sacred departure point. Dancing around the fire pit, the power rises in me as my body transforms into feathers and wings. I rise with the smoke of the campfire and circle the woods before drifting higher and higher through the dusky night sky. Mounting higher still, I ascend through the starlit universe and beyond to the ocean-like membrane that separates the worlds. I am tired and sore as I journey to the upper-world for healing today so there is no time to play in the ocean with the whales and dolphins who smile at me as I ease by. As I race up the steep mountainside, passing through the spiraling rainbow swirls that separate the levels, I am guided to veer left at the seventh level. I soar west over the splendor of this beautiful landscape, and soon the snowcapped mountains give way to lake- and river-etched tundra extending endlessly to the horizon. Dense pine forests and muskegs render this wild solitude humanly impassible in any form other than by river. moose and loons fill the water and raptors fill the sky. I glide onto a path midway up the grass-covered mountainside and my Spirit Teacher, Rainbow Wind, greets me with open arms. Dressed in rainbow colors, the bright sparkle in her eyes radiates the essence of the aurora borealis where she sometimes takes me to teach the nature of energy and power to me. Today she knows I have come for healing, so we enter the opening in the mountainside she calls home. Drying herbs hang awaiting some future healing application, and we move through the quaint, cozy living quarters to the narrow opening in the rear. Following the tunnel to the center of the mountain where a small circular room formed when this ancient volcano cooled, she guides me to lie on a transparent healing bed. Lit by the sunlight pouring down through the cone that once had spewed lava and gases into the world above, my body soaks in the radiant solar heat. The deep reverberating heartbeat of this mountain can be felt, rather than heard, everywhere around me. The streaming sunlight changes before my eyes into a kaleidoscope of spiraling rainbow colors that move through and around my body emanating down from the chasm and up from the cavern floor. As if by magic, the energy of the aurora borealis levitates me in the colored energy twisting and turning in midair supported only by the vibrations. With directed intelligence, the energy penetrates deeply into my body and radiates through to the other side, dissolving the congestion that had blocked my own body's energy flow. Pinned in the air by this resplendent pulsating energy, my mind begins to quiet, and I find peace in my healing. This moment is frozen in time and remains so until the distant change in drumbeat signals the pulsations to relax and gently ease me back down to the healing bed. Feeling incredibly enlivened, I rise to embrace Rainbow Wind in heartfelt gratitude for orchestrating this extraordinary phenomena. As I take wing and ascend the cone of light through the volcano's mouth, I pause to take in the scope of this vast and powerful place. Dropping down through the spiraling rainbow levels of the upper-world and into the starlit universe to

the dusky night sky, I land in the tree near the campfire, evaluating the ground below. Sensing calm, I glide down to the earth, gathering the energy of the journey into my being. Slowly opening my eyes, I feel the residual color vibrations and peace of this sacred healing medicine place in my body, mind, and soul. Once again, I am totally amazed by the healing power of connecting with my Spirit Teachers and the universal life force through shamanic journeying. Prior to taking this journey, I had been feeling low on energy and needed a system boost. I had a full day of appointments and a class to teach that evening. It was around 2:30 PM and already I was drained, so I journeyed for help during my short break. The phenomenal rainbow aurora borealis energy sourced by my Teacher, Rainbow Wind, vibrated at such a high frequency it penetrated into my fatigued body and nourished my hungry cells with energy. I came back from this journey with renewed vigor and had no trouble completing my workday and evening with plenty of energy. Merging/Power-Filling Journey Merging is the act of combining energy with another being. Journeying to merge with a Spirit Teacher is beneficial for connecting with the powerful energy and wisdom that they embody and is an intensely direct means to inject vital life-force energy into an ailing body. Sometimes merging happens spontaneously in journeys, but you can also ask for merging to take place by stating that in the intention of your journey. If your Spirit Teachers feel this would be beneficial to you and them, they will happily oblige. Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my sacred wooded departure point. I dance around the fire pit and feel the power rise in me as my body transforms and I see my arms morph into feathered wings. Rising with the smoke of the campfire in the body of an eagle, I circle the woods before drifting higher and higher through the night sky. Mounting higher still, I ascend through the starlit universe and beyond to the ocean-like membrane that separates the worlds in my journeys. Landing in the forested central park of an enormous crystalline city, I transform back into my physical body. My Spirit Teacher, the Ancient One, also known to me as Great Grandfather, emerges from nowhere, and we walk through the crystal forest. Crystals of all shapes, sizes, colors, and configurations shine and reflect sunlight from riverbeds, paths, meadows, and woods. Rainbow prisms sparkle from among the grasses, flowers, trees, and water. I am held spellbound by the beauty and energy of the mineral beings surrounding me. As Great Grandfather and I walk hand in hand down a slightly worn path through this magnificent place, our two separate spirits suddenly become one. My awareness shifts, and I realize I am merged with Great Grandfather. My soul is actually inside his Spirit body. Recovering from the shock of this phenomenon, I feel what he feels and see the world through his eyes. I feel light and airy and enjoy the sensations of existence without a physical body, like the Spirit I have become. The density and the

seriousness of my emotions relax and my worldly concerns lessen. I feel carefree and happy. I am blessed with an awareness of my teacher's deep wisdom and understanding of the universe and feel strong and power-filled. The inner calm and peacefulness that fills my soul is unlike anything I have ever felt in my life. Questions excitedly form in my mind and immediately I know the answers, as if telepathically communicating with some greater force. It feels like knowledge is omnipresent and can be accessed easily by this direct Spirit connection. Instantly, a confirming "Yes" bubbles from deep within my soul that validates this insight. I am amazed as the wisdom continues, and answers to my personal concerns fly into my mind before I can fully form the questions. These answers come as knowings that ease my fears and light my path for future decisions. I know now in this moment that my daughter Lauren will be fine during her upcoming visit out of state with her Dad. I know that the supplements I am currently taking are beneficial to my body but will not be required much longer. I know that the CFIDS/fibromyalgia symptoms will remain inactive as long as I continue to fill with energy and power through journeying and continued spiritual growth. I am able to see very clearly that my recovery from this illness is a result of using any and all of the methods that work for me to fill myself with power and hold it within me. I know that the initiatory events of the sweat lodge, Reiki training, spiritual training with Judy, and all the shamanic training have blended and built upon one another to cleanse my body, mind, and soul and prepare me for holding the power necessary to be a healer. I hear the sound of the callback drumbeats from a distance and I know I must return. Instantaneously, we are separate individuals embracing with loving gratitude. Thanking Great Grandfather, I soar down through the ocean layer, the starlit universe, and the clear blue sky to the smoke of the campfire. Landing in the nearby tree, I scan the landscape and then return to the ground. In an instant, I am back in my body in this room feeling awed by my merging experience. The power that I felt and the wisdom that seemed to seep into my consciousness, through something similar to osmosis, was quite amazing. Shortly after returning from this journey, I realized I had tapped into a powerful link to gain wisdom and guidance by connecting with my Spirit Teachers in this way. As I journaled the tidbits of knowledge that I received, I noticed how incredibly calm I felt. Connecting directly with the energy of my Spirit Teacher allowed me to feel his calm, peaceful center and showed me, through the experience of feeling it, how to do that with my own. Now that I have experienced the deep calm of my center, when I become harried with my busy life I take a few moments to quiet myself and reflect into my core. There I find the stillness within that I draw out into my mind and into the rest of my body in order to function in a balanced and healthy way. Cleansing Journey Cleansing journeys are beneficial for removing emotional and energetic barriers and blockages that disrupt the natural flow of life-force energy.

Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my sacred wooded departure point. Dancing around the fire pit, power rises in me as my body transforms into feathers and wings. Now transformed into the body of an eagle, I rise on wing with the smoke of the campfire and circle the woods before drifting higher and higher through the dusky night sky. Mounting higher still I ascend through the starlit universe and beyond to the ocean-like membrane that separates the middle and upper worlds in my journeys. I soar beyond a tropical rain forest with careening rainbow waterfalls to a surreal mountain that reaches farther than the eye can see. Racing up the steep mountainside through spinning rainbow spirals that separate each level, Spirit guidance directs me to veer left at the third level. This guidance seems to come from nowhere, just suddenly entering my mind. Trusting my Spirit Allies, I turn left and soar into a mountainous terrain of snowcapped peaks, crystal blue spring fed lakes, and snow-lined rocky streams. I feel like I am in heaven. I land near a high-mountain lake and shift back into my physical body. Just to my right, standing knee deep in the marshy grasses, an enormous bull moose grazes, briefly acknowledging my presence. On a ridge to my left, a huge bull elk looks down toward me and then beyond to the valley below. Standing on a huge flat boulder near the water's edge, I watch the rushing stream slow and mix as it enters the lake. Tiny trout create silver flashes in the sunlight as the surface mirrors the grandeur of the surrounding snowcapped peaks. Telepathically, the moose conveys that I should follow the course of the stream with my gaze and look for a place to lay down in the water. From the mouth of the stream, I follow the shallow white rapids to the top of the pass where the stream seems to magically emerge from the pine forest. Huge boulders cover the floor of the streambed with the exception of one small area. I step into the snow-lined icy water and lie down. Because I am Spirit, the water does not feel cold, and I lay awhile, allowing the water to rush over my body washing away the energetic sludge and blockages of past agreements, beliefs, behaviors, and patterns. I feel a deep internal transformation as the river cleanses every system of my body and energy field. Unencumbered by the confines of a body, my Spirit swims free in the surreal underwater world. The current carries me downstream into the lake where I frolic with the silvery trout in and out of the reflections of the snowcapped peaks. Peering up through the flowing water, I see the moose standing on the icy bank watching with approval. I suddenly find myself standing on the back of a wild chestnut mustang, the chill mountain wind blowing through her mane and tail and my long, wavy hair. The voice on the wind speaks of freeing myself from the illusionary trappings of the human mind by letting go of the past and allowing myself to be reborn into connection with Spirit and my own soul. I feel the wind blow straight through me cleansing every cell of my body and every atom of my energy field as the old energy drifts away like wisps of gray smoke. The callback enters my consciousness from a distance, and I realize it is time to return. I shift back into the form of an eagle and, as I rise into the sky, I am directed by the horse and the wind to carry out this journey in physicality. I soar down the trail to the trailhead in the valley, turn right and fly toward the steep mountainside that is a landmark in my upper-world journeys. Once at the mountain I turn right again and descend down through the spinning rainbow spirals that separate the three levels. Resting for a

moment at the tropical forest and rainbow waterfalls in the first level, I then dive into the ocean layer separating the worlds and emerge into the starlit sky of the middle-world universe. I soar quickly into my wooded departure point oasis and land by the fire pit, changing back into my own body. I thank the Spirits for their healing and teaching and return to my body in my healing room in ordinary reality. Four days later in ordinary reality, my husband and I hiked into the pristine wilderness of Rocky Mountain National Park on a ten and a half-mile healing adventure to carry out my journey in physicality. I studied the trail and topography maps of the park and was drawn to choose a trail that paralleled a river to its high mountain origin. The 3.2-mile rugged trail led me past four waterfalls, two lakes, and four elk before culminating into a two-mile steep ascension to the final waterfall and the trail's end at Black Lake. The lake lay in a bowl surrounded by snowcapped peaks reaching to the clear blue sunlit sky. The air was clean and fresh, and I felt its life-giving qualities deep in my heaving lungs. I walked around the edge of the lake and found the snow-lined stream that fed her. Breathing heavily, I stepped up on a huge, flat boulder that overlooked the crystalline lake and her surroundings. Gazing into the lake, I watched the dancing of the silvery trout as the sunlight caught their shimmering bodies and the mirroring of the snowcapped mountains. I watched the rushing stream slow and mix as it entered the lake. Amazed, I realized that the snow-covered mountains, the crystal clear lake, and the snow-lined, boulder-filled stream were just as they were in my journey earlier that week. The Spirits had shown me all of this very vividly, and the message was as clear as the mountain stream before me. I searched the icy white rapids for a place to lie down. Just as in my journey, the stream was boulder-filled with the exception of one spot. I looked around. I was high up in the mountains near tree level and there were no people about, so I did as I was guided in my journey. I undressed and stepped into the frigid water. I quickly lay down in the only open spot in the stream and shivered as the icy water rushed over my body. Once the initial shock wore off, I relaxed and felt the Spirit of the stream slip between the atoms, cleansing my energy field and my soul. Immediately I felt free and light, refreshed, and energy-filled. Exhilaration and power continued to fill my soul as I exited the stream and stepped up on the huge boulder. For the first time in a long time, I felt healthy and free from illness. Tears of joy dripped into the corners of my smile as I stood naked beneath the sky on that boulder. Moments later my voice rang out over the high mountain lake with Helen Reddy's melodic words, "I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman!" I stood quietly then, unashamed before God, the wilderness, and my own inner judge as the chill mountain breeze dried my body and I integrated my experience into my soul. I silently dressed and sat upon a small boulder putting on my shoes as my husband documented my irreversible smile with a photograph. We jubilantly hiked back down to the valley enjoying the pristine beauty of the Rockies. As if to seal in the spiritual significance of this day even more, while traveling back to the historic Grand Lake Inn we saw a cow moose (one of my Power Animals) in a willow marsh and a coyote (one of my husband's Power Animals) in the open plains meadow. The transformation from this journey and physical actualization was instant, clear, and everlasting.

Many old agreements, beliefs, behaviors, and patterns were eliminated while inner strength, health, and independence took their place. To this day, when I feel bogged down with emotional encumbrances or energetic blockages, I cleanse and fortify myself by revisiting this powerful experience through journeying. Dismemberment Journey The dismemberment journey is an initiation and an incredibly healing opportunity that many shamans and journeyers experience spontaneously. It can also be intentionally brought about. This journey entails the journeyer to undergo a shamanic death. That is, the journeyer experiences the physical dismemberment and death of the body and is then reassemble or "remembered" minus debilitating blockages. This usually results in the journeyer being reconnected to the self and the divine in new ways. The dismemberment and death breaks down the ego as we know it to facilitate a new birth reconnected to the web of life. The concept of this journey may seem a little frightening, but I assure you, it is safe and rewarding. Trust yourself and the relationship, guidance, and teachings of your Spirit Teachers. Lying on my magic blanket, the drumbeat shifts my awareness as I repeat the intention of the journey three times. My intention is to journey to the lower-world and invite the Spirits to dismember me if they deem it warranted. Focusing my awareness to my departure point, I feel my physical body relax. On the land I own with my family, I start dancing around the campfire at the corner where forest and meadow meet. I feel my power begin to rise. The energy flows through me as my rhythmic twostep moves into a flowing whirl of ecstasy. My body begins to grow feathers and wings, and soon I am swirling over the top of the campfire as an owl. Soaring low over the wildflowers and bees of the meadow, I dive headfirst into the murky swamp. The cool refreshing water yields the tunnel that carries me to the lower-world. Dark and cool, the welcoming tunnel vibrates with the undulations of the heartbeat of Mother Earth. I pass quickly into the lower-world and arrive at the first level's mountainous splendor, replete with snowcapped peaks, virgin forests, pristine rivers, and deep, clear blue lakes. I descend to the lush green valley and shift back into my normal body. Drawn by a strong invisible force, I start climbing the highest peak with ease and finesse. Ascending higher and higher into the thin air of extreme altitude, my chest heaves and my lungs struggle to absorb the limited oxygen. Nearing the summit, my fatigued oxygen-deprived muscles give way to collapse, and I plummet to the jagged rocky crevasse below. My body lies still, shattered into a million pieces. Unconcerned and unattached, I watch as a flock of vultures begin to pick at my bloody flesh. An awareness enters my consciousness that my Spirit is alive and observing my dismembered body. My logical mind struggles briefly to understand, and then I let it go. I relax and feel the freedom of my soul. I am free, with no limits, no boundaries, and for the first time that I can remember, no pain. Lost in the freedom of the moment, I suddenly jerk into awareness as a vulture plucks out my eyeball, crushes it in his beak, and swallows it greedily. Remorse and loss fill my soul. I miss my pretty hazel

eyes, my long curly auburn hair, and my svelte athletic body. I watch helplessly as the vultures strip away my flesh, leaving nothing but my bare shattered bones to dry in the sun. My feelings of remorse gradually transform into cold acceptance, and the blizzards of winter cover my brittle bones in a protective layer of snow. A buffalo herd enters the valley seeking the shelter of the surrounding mountains, stirring my bones as they paw under the snow searching for sustenance. As the snow wears thin with winter's desperate capitulation to spring, wild mustangs periodically trounce the valley with their sharp, sure-footed hooves. The dusty snow flies high into the crisp air with the power of their presence, while pieces of my dry brittle bones fly and fall into indiscernible patterns upon the freshly bared earth. Although my body is dead, my soul feels alive and connects with the vibrant power of these free mustang spirits. Unencumbered and powerful, my soul runs with them, while at the same time a lone wolf, hungry from the long winter, gnaws on my newly exposed bones. The paradox of feeling loss and freedom at the same time baffles my logical mind, but as I release the thoughts, spring flows into my journey. The mountain snows melt and the swelling river overflows into the crevasse, sweeping my bones into the flow. Pitching and swirling, my bones churn through the valley in the ferocity of the raging river, eventually slowing at the gateway of a beaver dam. One by one, the remaining three bones trickle down the two-foot waterfall and into the pond where together they swirl in an eddy. As if by magic, the three bones come together and transform into a homely young chick. Yellow, brown, and black, the downy fluffy little bird grows into a beautiful graceful swan. Swimming regally to the bank, she steps out onto the beach and shakes off the frigid water. In an instant, she is me and I am her, as if my soul moved into her elegant white body. I want to fly but cannot. I am moved to tears, and an intense peace comes over my soul. I feel a deep understanding that I liked being "dead" and I wanted to stay that way, free from the pain and limitations of being in a body. I stretch my huge powerful wings and sink into the sensations of being in this body. I am fluid, graceful, and grounded. There is no pain in this body. I feel the power of the life force move through me and I rejoice. It is good to be in a physical form again and I transform back into my own body. Flexing my muscles, I feel the power of my physical movement and notice that my body is pain-free. The chronic myalgic pain usually in my forearms, back, and neck is miraculously absent, somehow left out when my body was remembered through the metamorphosis. I am humbled and quiet as I experience the changes of my body. As if on cue, the callback drumbeat sounds, and I ascend the tunnel to the swamp, the meadow and the campfire, where I gather myself for a moment and then return to my body in this room. Upon returning, I feel energized, pain-free, and remarkably different. The words "I am transformed" were the first to appear scrawled onto the page of my journal as I sat quietly, allowing the essence of this experience to sink in. For a brief time, I was paralyzed by awe and incomprehensible amazement. Periodically I would shake my head and marvel at the remarkable journey of shamanic death and rebirth, the first of this kind I had taken. Once the powerful energy sunk into my consciousness, the words poured forth onto the journal pages expressing my thoughts while I relived the death of my body, the piece-by-piece dismemberment, and the feelings associated with that loss. I was amazed to discover how attached I was to my physical body after experiencing

the initial freedom that I felt with the separation of my soul from my body. Even though the lack of physical fatigue, pain, and restrictions was glorious after having been so sick for so long, I still loved and honored my body, and I was grateful for that understanding. Once I understood that my lesson was to love myself no matter what, I released the attachment I felt to my body and an incredible calm came over my soul as the winter snows fell upon my bones. A calm that came from deep within the recesses of my soul ignited through my connection with the universal life force. I lingered in peace throughout the rest of the journey, watching the transformation of my ego, my soul, and my body take place as different Spirit Teachers made contact with my bones. In the end, when I was "re-membered" through the healing powers of water, my body was without the myalgic pain that I had lived with for so long and remains so to this day as long as I continue to journey on a regular basis. Dismemberment: Seeing True Essence Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me to my sacred wooded departure point. Rising in power while dancing around the campfire, I lift off into the clear blue sky and up into the starlit universe. Reaching the ocean-like entrance to the upper-world, I swim playfully with my whale and dolphin Spirit friends. One of the dolphins excitedly guides me to a towering waterfall splashing down the rugged, moss-covered cliffs falling into the ocean. A kaleidoscope of prism colors glow within the billowing mists as the sun shines through the waterfall haze. Standing naked under the sluicing water, I am cleansed body, mind, and soul. I lazily dress in a golden tunic that has fortuitously appeared by the falls and happen to notice an intriguing little path leading into the jungle. Great Grandfather appears and we walk hand in hand into the unknown. As we walk, he mysteriously shape-shifts into many different aspects of himself, a vital young warrior, an old, old man, men of varying races and spiritual affiliations. Watching in wonderment, I am struck in the back of the head by a crow. The crow continues to strike blows to the back of my head as my head becomes bloodied. For some reason I don't react, I am just aware of this happening to me. All during the blows Great Grandfather continues to change in skin color, age, and cultural orientation. Everything seems to change except his gender always remains male. As he continues to morph, he communicates that this lesson is about judgments, appearance, and acceptance. The crow continues to strike my head until I fall unconscious, blood streaming through my long hair onto the path. My body is unaware but my Spirit observes as crows and other birds pluck out my eyes and my brains. Holding my eyes in their beaks, the crows tell me that people make judgments about what they see. They tell me not to use those eyes anymore. They caw that I need to learn to rely on my mind's eye (the third eye) to read energy instead. Pulling on stringy pieces of my brain, the birds reiterate that people make complex and unfounded mental and emotional judgments based on appearance. Great Grandfather masterfully continues to change his appearance, showing himself as a Native American Shaman, a Tibetan Shaman, a Black Shaman, all races, and all colors while teaching that outward appearance is an illusion. Inside, underneath the outward appearances, he is the same Spirit essence no matter what color or culture he appears to be at the time. Look for the energy

underlying the outward appearance, he teaches that is how to know the truth of a person. My numbed body lies still on the path while my soul absorbs this lesson in energy. Slithering up to my forehead, a great white snake places a single pinecone seed into my third eye. Sliding back away, he flicks his tongue changing the evergreen seed into a shimmering green emerald. Miraculously, I stand and walk without my eyes or my brain. It is the oddest feeling. I see clearly through my third eye with the evergreen emerald. People appear on the path, and I see them as lights and hearts, but no faces and no bodies. I see the mystical energy of their Spirit essences, but not their physical features. I see only pure Spirit, with no outward appearance and no judgment. Vibrating strands of electricity radiate between the people displaying where they are energetically connected. These energy cords reach out and touch one another facilitating mutual energy flow. Heart cords appear with those in love, mind cords with those who think together, and soul cords with those of the same soul group. There are many cords with many connections for specific purposes. I am amazed as I watch this energy flow back and forth between the lights of people. All too soon, the distant changing drumbeat signals my return and I am quickly sucked down through the rainbow spiral layers, the starlit universe, and the clear, blue sky back to the campfire. Gratefully thanking my Spirit Teachers for their gifts and lessons, I gather my energy and return to my body. Since this journey, my abilities to feel and see energy have dramatically increased. I am able to tangibly feel the energy cords that run between people in normal ordinary reality. I can typically see these cords when working with clients in shamanic healing sessions where I journey on their behalf, and often I am able to see them in ordinary reality when I look with soft eyes, like one uses to see the image inside a 3D picture. I can see the auras of light energy around people, and often I see energy glowing in their hearts and solar plexus. In addition to these new sensitivities, I was first given the gift of the Rainbow Waterfall Cleansing Exercise described in chapter 4 from this journey. Awareness Journeys Oftentimes we can't discern the causal factors for our challenges. Journeying for awareness gives us insight and guidance into these challenges. Ancestor/Plant Spirit Journey Ancestors can be a valuable link to the Spirit world and often appear in our journeys as Teachers and Guides. This journey was taken with the intention to connect with an ancestor to receive guidance. Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me to the sacred woodlands of my departure point. Personal power builds in my body and soul as I dance around the glowing fire. My slow shuffling steps turn into rapid hop steps as the energy grows deep within my core. My arms turn into wings and I am covered in feathers. I take

flight and soar low over the field, catching glimpses of the movements of small animals. I reach the swamp and dive into the depths, careening through the tunnel, and emerging into the lower-world. Since there were two tunnel openings above me that I did not take, I am aware that I am at the third level of the lower-world. Flying out of the tunnel into a landscape rich with lush green rolling hills, I land and immediately change back into my physical self. A slightly worn path appears before me and stretches through the hills toward the horizon. Inner guidance moves me to follow this path. As I reach the top of the first hill, the panorama below opens into the quaint sight of a cozy, small European village of old. A tiny white cottage on the outskirts of town draws my attention. The mud-daubed walls are accented with a red clay tile roof and window boxes bursting with colorful summer blooms. I am intrigued and descend the hill, cautiously stepping under the ivycovered archway. The precisely lined stone entranceway opens into intertwining walkways that meander through magical flowing gardens. I am delighted by the prolific blooms of every imaginable flowering plant expressing themselves in vibrant radiating colors. I breathe deeply of the warm, thick air, endeavoring to take it all in. An aromatic scent draws me around the corner of the cottage to an expansive segment of the garden filled with herbs. I notice that some of the plants have been carefully cultivated. Stretching beyond the herbs, many winding paths open into more flower gardens that beg to be explored. Wandering deeper into the intoxicating scents and colors, I stroll into a world of the mystical. Losing track of all conscious thought, it feels like I have been here for hours when in reality I know it has only been a few moments. Glancing up from my intense exploration of flora and fauna, I realize I have reached the garden's edge. A crystal clear stream serves as the garden's border as it softly gurgles to the resident plants and echoes the whispers of the deep virgin forest beyond. Wandering back toward the cottage, the lush gardens continue to express beauty and love to my senses. I wonder who could cultivate such an enchanted place. As if able to read the question in my mind, a graying, dark-haired woman, perhaps in her early sixties, appears in the back doorway. Of stout stature and robust health, her ruddy face bears the tan of many outdoor hours and a warm smile of welcome. I have never met this Spirit Teacher before and yet she seems so familiar. My heart opens with recognition as she explains our ancestral ties through my mother's lineage of six generations. She tells me that she has brought me here to teach me the art of plant Spirit medicine. She further explains that she is a healer, an herbalist, and is often called a witch by the townspeople who come to her for healing. Shaking her wild long hair and laughing loudly, she invites me in, if I dare. Without a second thought, I enter the cozy cottage. The hardwood floors feel cool to my bare feet. Scanning the room, I am amazed. The walls from floor to ceiling are lined with shelves several inches in depth and stocked with bottles of all shapes and sizes filled with potions and tinctures. Drying herbs and flowers hang from hooks on the shelves and from the ceiling. A large round oak table with claw feet sits on a braided rug in the center of the main room. A cast iron caldron hangs over a simmering

fire in the fieldstone fireplace. The quiet sound of bubbling brew and a sweet aroma emanate through the room. She beckons me to sit in one of the three rocking chairs spaced evenly around the table. In the thick, humid summer air, the fire to my left feels too warm so I choose the chair furthest away. Pulling her chair next to mine, she reaches for my hands and gazes into my eyes. I am not afraid for she feels full of love and compassion. My eyes soften and my heart melts. I feel like one of the blooming flowers in her garden as she looks deeply into my soul. Her slate-gray eyes sparkle with magic, and her touch radiates a tingling vibration into my hands. Her expression tells me I am deeply loved and honored, that this is a special connection between us, and her teachings are of great importance. My consciousness shifts slightly and I am aware of both my Spirit in this journey and the tactile feeling of the energy flowing through my physical body as I lay on the blanket. As my consciousness returns to the journey, I am aware that we are communicating telepathically. She teaches me that our awareness has many abilities, including communication through thought and knowing, and that we can be in more than one place at any moment. In fact, we can split many times and be in many places at the same time. She explains that this is possible not only in journey consciousness, but in ordinary consciousness as well, when we open our minds to understanding that our spirits are expansive and limitless. As I pause to integrate this teaching, I find my awareness shift back to my body on the blanket while remaining in the room with her. At the same time, I split into standing in her garden out back and sitting in my garden at home. I am aware of actually being in all four places at once. Although somewhat baffling, this feels expansive and freeing. Experimenting with this newly recognized ability, I move more deeply into feeling all four places. As I relax into this phenomena, plant Spirits emerge from the nearby flowers and herbs. The Spirit of mullein steps forward and speaks to me about breathing deeply of the life force to heal my lungs and adrenal glands. She is a brilliant yellow elf-like being, radiating a golden glowing energy like sunshine. I feel happy just being in her presence. She requests that I journey to her regularly on behalf of others for healing, suggesting that I gather in her glowing sunshine energy and blow it into their solar plexus. She explains that many people are empty in their center, lacking the yellow energy of their inner flame. This inner flame is life-force energy that comes from connection with our soul-self and with the Spirits. She explains that when people are disconnected they lose enthusiasm for life and become depressed. They often have weak adrenals, allergies, and digestive problems. Smiling brightly and radiating love, her saffron energy envelops me in a blanket of compassion and harmony that reverberates deep understanding of her teachings into my body. It is as if she is teaching not only my mind, but every cell in my body. The brilliant glow of her essence radiates physical healing throughout my entire being. Suddenly I am again aware of being in four different places at once and then just one. Gliding back and forth with the rhythm of the rocking chair, the energy settles into my body and my mind integrates

the learning. As the callback sounds in the distance, I move to bid a grateful farewell to my new Teacher. Instantly I am transported up the tunnel, through my departure point, and back into my body in my healing room. It fascinates me that every time I journey, I have the opportunity to visit new places and meet new Teachers just like in this journey. The possibilities are endless since the universe is so vast, and yet I am always taken to the Teacher and the place that I need most right then. In this journey, I was able to connect with a Teacher that I have since worked with often in learning the fine art of plant Spirit medicine and herbology. Though I have read books on these subjects, I find my best teaching and healing comes from these journeys where I am given "hands on" direction. I have met the Spirits of many plants in this way and my ancestor Teacher imparts the old wisdom of how to use these plants in their physical form. I am often shown which part of the plant should be harvested, when, and how to create the elixir, tea, or food that would be most beneficial. This has led to many an enjoyable trip to the garden, woods, or meadow in search of coveted flora and fauna, and the adventure of the ensuing slicing, dicing, grinding, or boiling to get just the right ingredients for medicinal effect. Journey into Conflict Coming to terms with conflict is one of the most difficult challenges many of us face. Journeying for guidance and understanding is a helpful tool that facilitates insightful resolution. Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my sacred wooded departure point. The drumbeat grows in my heart as I dance around the campfire in this beautiful wooded oasis where creek and grassy field meet woods. Soaring like a bird, I float over the wildflower meadow to the swamp and dive into the warm dark unknown. I swim down the tunnel until the water mysteriously ends and I spill out onto the seventh level of the lower-world. My intimate Power Animal, the moose, is waiting for me and everywhere I look there are other moose, in the clear mountain lake, in the aspen, in the swamp, in the deep forest, in the willow, and in the creek. Young bulls playfully spar, feeling their strength for the first time. The huge males serenely survey the action, their heads heavy with mammoth antlers. There are cows heavy with calf and other cows full of the power of protecting their newly born. Lanky calves chase each other in the chill mountain air feeling full of new life. The moose tells me they are the "Keepers of the Power of the Earth." I breathe in the awesome magnitude of the energy and power that is here. It is my power, returning to me after the loss from the recent conflict in my life. A shaman woman of great power and wisdom sits beneath a magnificent ancient tree. She speaks silently of the conflict in my life. She directs and guides with suggestions of maintaining my place within the family and holding my ground. The person involved in the conflict is feeling abandoned and angry, so is pushing away everyone in her life. My place is to remain where I am, to remain strong and solid, grounded in the power of the earth as held by my Power Animal, the moose. Stand strong

like the mighty tree, they teach. The lesson in this challenge is holding my power, bending with the blows, sending roots deep into the earth and connecting with the roots of all other living beings. Great Blue Heron flies over and speaks that quiet stillness is my role. I am to plant myself and remain firmly rooted in the quiet stillness of passing time. My Spirit Teachers suggest I wear a tree necklace to signify the message and the power of this journey whenever I am to be with this person. From a distance the changing drumbeat signals my return. Gratefully I thank my Teachers as I ascend the tunnel carrying with me the power and the wisdom of the Spirits. Returning to ordinary consciousness, I feel a balanced calm I have not felt in the four days since the harsh words were spoken. I am thankful for the centering peace of Spirit in my life. The focus of this journey was an emotionally packed difficult situation that seemed to have no valid cause or solution, therefore making it a mental struggle to make sense of in my mind. My wise Spirit Teachers gave me sound advice that I then applied with great success. What seemed like a very volatile situation simply dissipated over time while I stood strong in my silent power, with my emotions calm and balanced. Internal Spring Cleaning The following journey is another way in which Spirit facilitates the removal of blockages and offers insightful understanding into the nature of our tendencies and behaviors. Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me down to the isolated riverbank. Sinking my feet into the red clay earth, I wait for my little red canoe to arrive. Stepping into the canoe, I settle in for the journey downstream. The crystal clear river flows moderately fast as I glide through the dense deciduous wooded area. Many eyes curiously peer out of the forest, taking note of my journey. The full moon boldly reflects off the new fallen snow and dances on the water. The air has a feel of impending spring, although old man winter has not yet given up his reign. Reaching the landing near my otherworld home, I step onto the bank and lie down on Mother Earth. She feels cold in her winter dress but cradles me. Father Sky and the full moon cocoon me in a blanket of reflected light that warms my inner being. Feeling the need to get to my home, I quickly ski through the pine forest to my little cabin in the clearing. Greeted immediately by my moose companion at the meadows edge, we chat and touch as we reconnect while walking to the quaint little rustic log cabin. Once inside, the door continues to swing open and closed, as if caught in a breeze, but there is no breeze. Inspiration shoots through my mind as I realize the message of the door is my internal indecision about whether to stay open or closed, and that I swing constantly. Deciding to leave the door open, I feel safe as it is a beautiful winter night and the fire inside burns brightly. The metaphor of the fire burning brightly in my otherworld home relates to my fire burning brightly within my soul and body. Greeted by my Celtic ancestor Spirit Teacher, I drink of the bitter, hot herbal tea she offers to boost my immune system. Feeling tired, I want to just sit by the fire in my rocking chair and be, but as I sit, so many distractions continually bombard my mind of

things I need to do. Sweeping these distractions away, I am aware that this is my learning for this journey. To sweep away the distractions in my life which prevent me from living fully and healthfully. Relaxing by the fire, I mindfully sweep away the cobwebs of thoughts and emotions that are distractions to my health and enlightenment. Cute little Badge, my gnome Spirit Teacher, busily enters the room on a determined mission. Broom in hand he sweeps the remnants of my emotional baggage out the open door into the snow. Feeling lighter, I am free to simply be at the fire. Time slips quietly away and I am lost in space. From a distance, the drumbeat change signals my return, so I breathe deeply of the warm fire and bid my friends farewell for now. The patiently waiting canoe easily drifts back upstream to the bank where I had left it. I debark into the mushy red clay and wiggle my toes, giving myself a refreshing and impromptu massage. Taking a deep breath, I return back to my body and to ordinary reality. There were several metaphoric messages in this journey that I began to employ right away in my everyday life. The first and most prominent was to continually sweep away the distractions that keep me from living fully and healthily. For me these distractions are things like endless mind chatter where I waste a lot of energy going over and over the same thing to no avail or spending my energy on time-killing activities that aren't healthy, productive, or a high priority. Instead of belaboring my mind chatter, I journey or meditate on the issue and employ the Psyche Inventory process. I use selfawareness to periodically check in with myself throughout the day and when I notice myself slipping into a timekilling activity I choose to do something more healthy, or just sit still for awhile. Another metaphoric lesson that appeared in this journey is a reminder to keep the door open, that is, stay open to energy flow. When I wasn't feeling well, I had a tendency to shut down and go into what I call "survival mode." I did this unknowingly to protect my precious energy, but unfortunately this also closed me off from receiving much universal lifeforce energy. Now I remain open through awareness and daily connecting with Spirit through journeys, meditations, and the energy movement visualizations that I described in chapter 4. Lastly, another metaphoric lesson is to keep my center fire burning. The metaphor of the fire burning in my otherworld home relates to my fire burning within the center of my soul and my body. I make sure this is happening by checking in with my center periodically to be sure my inner sun is glowing. If I am low on energy, physically cold, or sense depletion in this area, I know my center fire needs refueling. In order to refuel I journey to the sun, meditate on the sun, or bring the sun into my solar plexus using visualization and mind focus. I will also eat and drink sunny foods and liquids like green, yellow, orange, or red fruits and vegetables and warm spices like cinnamon or ginger. Choice and Discipline We have the choice to do healthy things for ourselves. We have the choice to be disciplined enough to do what is good for our bodies and our selves. We must be daring enough to break the mold of our old

ways and step onto the healing path. Early in my healing I had to make some very difficult choices about what was good for me and what needed to be let go. Before that, I needed to learn the valuable lesson of choice. Choice and Opportunity Journey Lying down on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my scared departure point. Being in this place brings me great joy and comfort so I allow my mind to stay awhile. I dance around the fire, building power, until the woodsmoke envelopes my Spirit and carries it to the heavens. Soaring through the clear blue sky into the starlit universe, I slide through the watery membrane that separates the upper and middle worlds in my journeys. I ascend along the steep mountainside that seems to rise forever, passing through many layers of clouds and spiraling rainbow colors until I arrive at the mountain's plateau summit. Surrounding me are massive jagged mountains whose rocky peaks tower into the sky, reaching for the limit of this Spirit world. As I admire their primal, ancient majesty, it seems the air speaks, telling me there are no limits in this place. Some mountains here reach to infinity. My mind expands in an attempt to visualize the magnitude of this. Warm greetings ensue as my Spirit Teachers, Great Grandfather, and John appear from the cloudy mists. Immediately they wish to settle into the teaching of today's journey of choice and opportunity. We sit around the blazing fire that glows in the center of this small crevice, and my Teachers begin to show me about human limitation and illness. They explain that sometimes we choose things that may not be healthy for us. For example, they point out, my lack of discipline. Nodding my head, I understand where this little talk is going. I know that journeying every day builds my power and energy yet at this point I have not chosen to journey everyday. They tell me that, subconsciously, people make choices that maintain their current level of functioning even when they know doing something different would be healthier. Status quo is safe and known even though it may be unhealthy. Change requires motivation, momentum, and energy. Great Grandfather explains that there are blockages in the human psyche that cause us to conserve energy in an attempt to survive. This causes us to pull all of our energies into our core, into the center of our physical bodies. We hold this in our lower energy wheels and, as we do, our vibrational rates decrease from lack of energy flow and movement. Feeling less energy, we begin to conserve with more restriction, limiting external stimulation but also incoming energy flow as well. Ultimately we kick into survival mode where we become numb and desensitized. My teachers go on to show me that as we continue to hold our energy here in our guts, we begin to experience lower back pain, intestinal and sexual dysfunction. We live our lives from our lower energy systems and restrict the flow of our higher vibrational wheels. John explains that pain and suffering grow when we hide within the boundaries of walls and boxes we build to shelter ourselves. Walls and boxes of beliefs, behaviors, and choices we create to serve as barriers to outside attack in reality become our own prison. The more we hide the more we become

oppressed and depressed as we seek to protect ourselves from outside threats. Blind to these illusions, we are not aware of the effects on our psyche and on our emotional and energy bodies. Chronic physical illness, chronic fatigue, unexplainable depression and anger appear when we keep ourselves safely tucked away in our comfortable little boxes. We think we are protected there, but by cutting ourselves off from the life force we are really being harmed. We are unaware that our choice to hide behind our walls is exacerbating the illness and separateness we feel. We think we are safe in our own little boxes, protected from the dangers of the external world. Then, periodically, something enters our box, hurts us, and we find we are really still vulnerable. Our safety net is obviously defective, and now we feel lost without any protection. Some may choose to close off even more, withdrawing further from the world perceived as hurtful. In attempting to close off even more, shutting down our emotions, trying not to feel the pain, we begin to view feeling emotions as unwanted and hurtful. We desperately want to avoid the pain, so we abuse alcohol and drugs in an attempt to anesthetize ourselves. We subconsciously do self-destructive things to our minds, emotions, and bodies as we continue to close down tighter and tighter in an effort to remain painfree. We begin to function entirely in survival mode, operating only out of the lower energy chakras. We close off to universal energy and in the process aren't able to access or use life-force energy. When we step outside the boundaries of living in this survival mode, we expand and gain more power. It takes discipline to expand beyond these confines and ways of surviving, but anytime that we do we are rewarded with expansion and more personal power. When we are no longer held in our own limited space, our bodies reflect the growth with renewed health and vitality. Journeying helps us to step beyond the boundaries by opening up energy channels allowing the life force to flow through the body again. For hours and sometimes days after journeying, we remain open to the energy and wisdom of the life force. As this energy fills our bodies, we not only have more energy from which to operate, this energy also boosts our immune systems creating health and balance. It bathes all the organs and body systems in high vibratory energy that boosts their functioning ability. Our whole system begins to run on higher vibrational energy allowing us to be more open and more connected. My Teachers continue to share that we all have the choice about how we will live, each and every day. We can choose to leave behind this closed and wounded way of life. Looking at our lives from a higher perspective, we can see the big picture and choose how we want to live. Do I want to just merely survive? Do I want to grapple with life from my lower energy place or do I want to live life fully connected to the universal source? It is a choice that we make each day. The day that I think I am too busy to nurture myself, I have made the choice to surrender a part of my well-being for the task I think I must complete. Is that task really more important than taking a necessary half hour to heal myself? It is a question and a choice that is available for all of us. Do I choose to live in a spiritual way? Do we choose to make the change in how we spend our time? Do we have the courage to heal

ourselves, to expand our minds and bodies? The courage and the strength that we use each day to hide in our boxes we can use to bloom into healthy beings. Spirit teaches that every time we do something positive toward the direction of healing, our energy increases tenfold. That is why journeying gives us energy. Losing this energy connection causes us to begin the dying process. We have the opportunity to change this course before we become the walking dead-beings forced to exist without truly living. Spirit goes on to teach that pain and suffering is a curious thing. Sensitive people are moved by pain and suffering in the world, in their fellow man and beast. It can affect us profoundly. It can become overwhelming. Sometimes there does not seem to be much hope for change and peace. Our world continues to become more chaotic with territorial and religious power struggles, natural disasters, and violence. We can attempt to make the world a better place or we can attempt to hide from the pain that exists. Either way, when we become disconnected from each other and the universal cosmic source, we experience greater pain and suffering. We are living in a time of abundance and yet such separateness. A time when many people and many souls are lost because they have lost their connection with their Spiritual source. They have lost their connection with each other, and they have lost their connection with their soul-self. Journeying can offer us the power and strength to heal from the pain that occurs in the world in which we live. Shamanic journeying reopens the connections that make us whole. Journeying expands the soul as it fills with higher vibrational energy. Steeped in this energy, our physical bodies are filled with energy and vitality. Journeying fills the emotions with calm and balance while expanding the mind. I am in awe of the powerful lessons taught today and the impact on me is no less than sensational. Wow, what a head full, I think, as the drumbeat changes signaling time to return. I gratefully embrace my teachers and thank them for their wisdom and compassion. Descending down the towering mountain back into my body and into this physical reality, I breathe deeply to insure my full return. The profound messages rattle around in my head as I begin to make sense of them in my journal. This is a lot of information to swallow, but the bell of truth rings in my gut and I see myself in the lessons they teach. I thank my wonderful teachers for sharing their wisdom with me as I take a few moments to sit in peaceful, calm silence and write. This journey gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to commit to my daily routine of journeying, meditating, and energy movement visualization exercises. And, of course, my Teachers were right. Since I have begun to employ these techniques every day, I am stronger, healthier, happier, calmer, and more aware, centered, and connected in my everyday life. Journey of Letting Go into the Loss It is often difficult to embrace the losses that naturally take place in our lives. It is sometimes through

loss that we find personal power and valuable parts of ourselves we had never before recognized. This journey is an example of Spirit teaching me this lesson. Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my sacred departure point. Dusky night settles in as three deer graze through the meadow. Dancing around the campfire, power rises in me as feathers and wings replace skin and arms. On wing, I soar low over woods and meadow diving deep into the swamp. I shoot down the tunnel and the lower-world appears within seconds. Suddenly my partners and I are precariously drifting down a raging river in a huge inflatable raft, carrying all of our gear. We appear to be on a survival mission as the gear contains camping equipment and supplies for weeks of traversing different types of terrain. These partners are men I know in my life, but right now I can't quite place them. Reaching the mouth where the river spills into the ocean, the wild massive waves of the big open water threaten us. As the raging river current collides with the menacing waves of the savage big water, our raft is raised straight upward and flipped over, losing everything. Bobbing in and out of the turbulent waves, I see the wheel of my bicycle and swim forcibly battling to save it. Thrilled with my catch I realize I have my bike but no other equipment. I struggle to the shore and am shocked to see the others are not there. I have lost everybody and everything. Drenched and frozen, shivering to the bone, I have nothing but my bike. An overwhelming sense of loss fills my being. What happened to my partners and what do I do from here? Sitting quietly for a moment, I assess the situation sullen and afraid, yet somehow knowing that I will be okay. The night chill settles in around my frozen body, but even so, I drift off into an exhausted sleep. In my dreams I have found refuge in a quaint country town. A haggard elderly peasant woman sends warm healing through my body and nurtures me back to health. I apprentice with her for a time while working to buy more gear to continue my journey. She teaches of the many wonderful uses of herbs and energy movement. Taking my newly purchased equipment and acquired skills, I continue my journey of unknown purpose, origin, or destination. I wander with the freedom of a nomad experiencing life as it comes, healing myself and others in need along the path until the callback instigates my return. The significance of this journey for me is profound. First, I was setting off on an adventure rafting, bicycling, and survival camping with friends. I absolutely love adventures and am bored to tears with provincial life. I long to be in the wilderness connecting with my soul-self and nature. Shamanic journeying is an incredible adventure where I not only connect with my soul-self and nature, but meet powerful helpers and fierce adversaries. As this journey demonstrates, I am able to explore uncharted territories inside of myself, such as my fears (losing everything and everybody), my goals (freedom to explore), and my desires (helping others to heal). The event of losing all of my necessary equipment for the adventure is analogous to letting go of my "stuff." That is, the baggage of old beliefs, conditioned behaviors, and ways of doing things that I no longer need to carry through life. My progress toward health and enlightenment would be greatly

hindered from being weighted down by this unnecessary bulky baggage. Although the removal of this is frightening and difficult to process, I feel lighter and less encumbered when the old baggage is released. The final portion of the journey in which I am traveling toward an unknown destination is not unlike life itself. Attempting to walk the path of enlightenment, I really don't know where my travels will take me, so I need to trust Spirit and myself to walk in balance. Standing in Power Many of us find it difficult to recognize and accept our inner knowings, strengths, and personal power. By journeying with the intention of learning more about these abilities, Spirit often reveals insights that guide us to accept our attributes and become whole. Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me away to my hallowed wooded land. Flying from my sacred forested departure point, I enter the upper-world, passing through the many layers of spiraling rainbow colors that separate the levels. When I reach the mountain plateau, I look for Great Grandfather, but I am unable to find him. I fly down to his home by the edge of the woods within sight distance of the village and find that his small teepee is empty. I begin to walk about and ask the locals if they have seen him. A man cleaning his catch told me that he had gone up river fishing but didn't know where. I arrive at the river to follow it to Great Grandfather and realize I am going to have to tune in to my intuition to locate him. Of course, the river flows two ways and he could have gone either way. Slightly upstream, the river splits at a fork and becomes two rivers. I feel that this is significant to my journey purpose but I am yet unsure how. Following my inner guidance, I travel upstream flying just above the bubbling water. At the river fork, I am guided to follow the right fork. My mind perceives that to find him I need to make the right (correct) choice. Further upstream, once again the river forks and I need to make a decision. Again, I am to take the "right" fork. As I come around the bend of the river, I am ecstatic to see Great Grandfather up ahead. He is not at all surprised to see me and smiles as he looks up from his halfwatched fishing line where he basks in the sun of this splendid mountain valley. Gazing out over the river and forests, I see the mountain where we usually meet. This is the first time I have been to this place, and I soak up the striking natural beauty that surrounds us. He smiles, pleased that I too appreciate the grandeur. Releasing our embrace, he asks what is troubling his great granddaughter. I share with him my current growth struggles of understanding the difference between what is "holding my power," what is simple defensiveness of things I don't want to face, and what is my own stubborn "tough it out" mentality that contributed to making me sick. He empathizes with this concept and shares his great wisdom. He first wants me to know that the man who is helping me will not hurt me. He is a man of great integrity. He will help me grow not only through this project but also in our friendship. He has come into my life to show me where my darkness still lies hidden. At times I will feel like this man is ripping out my heart and eating it while it is still beating. But in truth, my

heart will stretch and grow and these are the growing pains. This man is here now because I asked for complete healing. Through this man and this project, that healing will flower within me if I stay with it. I must be strong and courageous. Pausing to check his fishing line, Great Grandfather continues to share the wisdom of the forked river. The forked river is still the same water. Two separate paths of water that flow the same direction end up converging into one. Two schools of thought may not be the same in the beginning but both flow in the same direction and fork together to become one without changing the elemental nature of each other. By blending and mixing, they move forward to become one thought comprised of two sources. Specific to my question, the two rivers or schools of thought must be honored and stirred together to become the now blended flowing river. Concerned about compromising my power in this situation, Great Grandfather simply explains, "You don't have to defend power, just stand in it." I know and understand for the first time a new way to be. Never before had I considered that I didn't have to defend my power. I can now be strong and confident, yet open, because real power flows through me continuously like the river. I don't have to defend this, it just is. I don't have to show it to anyone in an assertive or aggressive way because they will already feel that the power comes from the source, not from a hoarded-up little bit of ego that has to defend itself. I can honor our two different rivers of thought and allow them to blend in a way that sits right with my power. Period. No fight, no defense. Great Grandfather smiles at my newfound understanding of his teachings of the great mysteries of life. I embrace him with sincere admiration as the callback signals my return. This journey is profound for me in two ways. The first is the current life situation that earlier today had me reeling for something solid to hold onto. I felt a major conflict brewing in my belly that was all consuming. I knew I needed help on the project, but how do I receive help without losing my position? The wisdom of this journey gives me truth to trust that allowing myself to team-up on this project that is mine, that holds immense emotional weight for me, and yet requires the expertise of a trusted friend, is the right fork to take. Beyond this situation is the deeper learning of truly holding and standing in power. It does not need to be defended, only stood within. Quiet Stillness By actualizing quiet inner stillness, I have connected with the divine healing energies of my soul-self and the universal life force. One way to quiet oneself is to journey with the intention of creating this state of consciousness. Lying on my magic blanket, I repeat the intention of my journey three times and allow the drumbeat to carry me to my sacred departure point, dancing around the fire pit at the thirty-eight acres of field and forest I own with my family. It is winter and a foot of glistening snow covers woods and meadow. I raise the energy by dancing around the fire pit. An owl majestically flies into a nearby tree and sits watching me for a few moments. Suddenly she descends upon me, merging with me, and I become Owlwoman. There is great strength in my winged arms as I fly west toward the swamp.

Diving into the open spot where the spring bubbles up, I soar down through the tunnel and come out beside a pristine mountain lake. Owl disengages from me and hops up to sit in a nearby tree. Feeling physically tired, I decide to sit by the fire pit that is just downstream from the lake. My Spirit Teacher, Rainbow Wind, comes to sit across from me, and my Power Animal, the moose, muzzles me from behind. I welcome them with heartfelt love. I am shown how important my connection with nature is and how this brings me such peace. Quiet, calm, and time for just being are what heals. I am told that when I slow down and allow myself to just be, I will connect with my center, my inner calm, and with my true soul-self. I find myself magically standing on the edge of a mountaintop looking out at the surrounding peaks. I am drawn to simply fly off the edge. I do so and become a huge soaring eagle. Slicing through the crisp air with amazing ease, I watch the treetops and river below. I soar high into the surrounding peaks and low into the valley feeling the freedom of flight. Without any forewarning, I am shot and plummet to the ground. All is very still and quiet. I am aware that my body is dead but that I am still alive. Nothing moves yet there is movement of the energy of my being. If you will be quiet and still, you will feel the movement of your being, I am telepathically told. Quiet moments pass. In the stillness I feel very alive. The drumbeat changes signaling my return. I immediately come to physical life and fly up the tunnel, out of the hole in the ice, and over to the fire. The huge bird separates from me, flying to the tree. Thanking all of my Spirit Teachers and Power Animals, I relax during the final few drumbeats. I am back in my body in my home. I feel calm, peaceful, and serene -how wonderful. Although it might appear at first that this journey would be disturbing because of my shamanic death, in actuality it was liberating. Shamanic death in journeys often represents the death of a facet of our psyche, personality, or ego, as was the case for me in this journey. Spirit helped me reach an often untouchable place deep within myself of inner calm and stillness by killing the "doing" part of me. Once quiet and calm, a natural connection with my soul-self occurred. This provided the balance and harmony that led to recovery and health. Because this place of inner calm is often buried deeply and we are not trained in our culture how to gain entrance into it, it is difficult for most people to access. Journeys such as this one are invaluable tools for breaking down that barrier.

These are but a few of the multitudes of journeys I have taken over the years. You can see there are many healing and learning opportunities in journeying, so explore and be creative. Intention is everything, so be specific and ask for anything. Above all, open your mind, relax, enjoy, and experience. Becoming aware of, connecting with, and being able to utilize the powerful life force of the universe, the Spirits, and your soul-self for healing will be your reward.

journeying makes the wisdom of the mystic available to everyone.

"What is real?" asked the Rabbit one day ... Does it happen all at once, or bit by bit?" It doesn't happen all at once, "said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. Thats why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most ofyour hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand. " -Margery Williams, from The Velveteen Rabbit View all problems as challenges. Look upon negativities that arise as opportunities to learn and to grow. Don't run from them, condemn yourself, or bury your burden in saintly silence. You have a problem? Great. More grist for the mill. Rejoice, dive in, and investigate. -Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English Manifesting health and wellness is as much a journey of self-discovery as it is a healing of the physical body. In order to fully actualize physical healing, you must first achieve balance and harmony in yourself Unbeknown to the busy "doing" part of your mind, you have a hidden reservoir of peace that lies deep within you, in your soul-self, that when tapped and utilized brings you into balance and harmony. This explains why healing comes from the inside of you and not from an external "treatment." In order to access your soul-self you need to become aware of your internal workings. You must understand your thoughts, feelings, and the motivations for your actions and behaviors. The Psyche Inventory is a chisel you can use to chip away your exterior, worldly facade in order to access and analyze the inner workings of your mind. It is a tool used to delve into your thoughts and feelings to discover and reclaim the "authentic" you that lies underneath. It is a process that helps you discover who you are and why you are the way you are, a process for stripping away the layers and defining the true core nature of yourself. It is a process that is designed to help you identify and work through the past events and societal programming that unconsciously form the basis of the beliefs and behaviors that are blocking your flow of life-force energy. The Psyche Inventory is an effective tool for exploring your psyche to uncover hidden behaviors, patterns, and experiences that may have manifested in your body in the form of physical illness. It is also the primary tool that you will use to reclaim soul-energy that you lost during your lifetime and that you continue to drain into unresolved issues in your past. Because many of our core issues are located in the subconscious mind where they

are difficult to uncover, the Psyche Inventory process uses the conscious mind to probe into your subconscious mind to detect and bring these issues to the surface. Using a series of questions, you will guide your conscious mind deeper and deeper into self-understanding. You will ask yourself questions such as those listed in the next few paragraphs. As you work the process, you will also formulate more detailed questions that stimulate deeper exploration into your more specific, personal issues. When you ask yourself these questions consciously, it will most likely be your conscious mind that first answers. Write down in your journal whatever answers come to mind and then go deeper to engage your subconscious mind. Ask yourself the same question again, and this time allow your subconscious mind to answer via automatic writing. Automatic writing consists of writing down whatever thoughts and feelings come to mind, without concern for content, sentence structure, grammar, or punctuation. The questions you ask yourself and write about are designed to elicit self-analysis and soulsearching that digs down as deeply as you are willing to go. The questions involve both thinking and feeling. If some of the questions make you feel uncomfortable, don't skip them. These could prove to be the most important ones for you to address. We will talk about these "hotspots" a bit later in this chapter. For now, answer these questions to the best of your ability, acknowledging how you feel and writing these feelings beside your "thinking" answer. Come back to this question occasionally during the process to see if any new information or feelings have appeared and be sure to revisit this question in your observational review. Once you are able to identify and understand the roots of your thoughts, feelings, and programs, you can then begin to recognize and release your emotional reactions and attachments through the process of recapitulation and reclamation. This allows you to use the Psyche Inventory as a rescue mission through which you can free the parts of yourself and the energies that may be caught in certain of your life events. Each time you free yourself from a layer of your emotional responses, it becomes easier to go back in again and identify the development of your agreements, beliefs, and behaviors. As you continue looking back, you can then effectively discern any recurring debilitating patterns or behavioral programs that may be inhibiting your energy flow or your ability to grow and heal. As you continue to strip away the layers using your cognitive mind, the true nature and inner wisdom of your soul-self begins to emerge. The more you reveal, release, and reclaim, the more energy your soul-self has to flourish. When there is a consistent flow of freed up energy, your soul, mind, emotions, and body function in the state of balance and harmony known as health. The Psyche Inventory contains two parts, the Initial Psyche Inventory and the Ongoing Psyche Inventory process. The Initial Psyche Inventory is designed to help you explore the occurrences and past events that have shaped your beliefs, personality, and choices. It is a tool that can be used as selfpsychotherapy to release the grip of the past. It is effective for unveiling and releasing unresolved feelings from past experiences that linger in the back of your mind and, consciously or unconsciously, shape your behaviors and decisions today.

The Ongoing Psyche Inventory process is designed to help you explore the thoughts and feelings that arise while you are busy trying to live your everyday life. It is effective for delving into pesky thoughts and feelings that may plague you, such as emotional restlessness, circular thoughts, fear, anger, anxiety, or depression. Every illness has a huge emotional component that may be the cause and/or the effect of the illness. Resolution of these emotions facilitates the balance and harmony that creates health. I invite you now to enter into a personal space of openness, honesty, and receptivity. The prize that you will find in this journey is your soul-self, the true, rich, unclouded essence of your life force. The Initial Psyche Inventory The first component of the Initial Psyche Inventory is to write out a time line of your life. On a plain sheet of paper turned horizontal to give you more space, draw a horizontal line extending across the middle of the paper from left to right. The left side represents your birth and the right side marks the present day as in the example below.

Start by recording your earliest memories and continue across the time line to the present day. You may find it easier to first fill in the time line with bigger, more memorable events, and then go back and break down each part of your time line into smaller and smaller units of time. Then go back and fill it in again, again, and again until nothing remains unidentified. Don't hurry this process, be open and relaxed, and just allow your memories to flow. The following example illustrates how this might look after your first time through.

The second component of the Initial Psyche Inventory process is to investigate every single detail, thought, question, emotion, and insight involved with the events of the time line by writing in your journal. Begin by looking over your time line. Reflect and be honest with yourself about the nature of the information you revealed and how you feel about it. Write a lengthy essay if you feel the need. Then begin to break down the time line for indepth exploration by choosing an event or a pattern that you are drawn to or that jumps out at you. Writing in your journal, describe the situation or pattern as

thoroughly as possible. Now check inside yourself and become aware of how you feel about what you have just written. Journal whatever emotions or feelings you notice. The key is to explore your psyche as deeply as possible by being as detailed as you can in each situation that you are remembering. I recommend that you take about fifteen minutes right now to do the Creating Internal Awareness visualization (see page 50) to help yourself relax and become more aware. Be gentle with yourself as you return to ordinary consciousness. Take a short break and then delve deeper into your psyche by asking yourself the questions below, answering them as deeply as you possibly can, and writing them in your journal. 1. What was the event I chose from the time line? Describe it in detail. 2. What circumstances led up to this event? 3. What decisions did I make? 4. What decisions were made for me? 5. What was my motivation for letting it happen or making it happen in exactly the way that it did? 6. What motivations did I attribute to the other people involved back then? 7. What motivations do I attribute to the other people involved now? 8. What did I think or feel back when this was happening? 9. What did I do with those thoughts or feelings? 10. How do I feel now looking back on the feelings I had then? 11. How do I feel about what I did with those feelings then? 12. Did that event change my perceptions about myself, others, the world, or life? If so, how? 13. Did it change my outlook on life? 14. Did I somehow agree to this or unconsciously make it my own? If so, how? 15. Did it change any of my beliefs? If so, how? 16. What was my belief before, and what is my belief now? 17. Did it change any of my behaviors? If so, how?

18. Does any of this affect any of my behaviors or my health now? If so, how? 19. Do I feel that I have adopted any identifications, behaviors, or programs as a result? If so, describe them. 20. What happened from that point forward in the time line of my life? 21. Am I remembering everything correctly? 22. Is this really the way it happened? 23. What do I feel about all of this now? 24. Go deeper, what feelings are underneath these initial feelings? 25. Are there any feelings underneath those? 26. Keep going as deeply into all of your feelings as possible by continuing to ask yourself "Is there anything deeper?" and "What is underneath that feeling?" 27. Then ask, are there any thoughts, details, or feelings that I have missed? Are there any questions of my own that come to mind that I should ask myself to dig further into this issue? If so, write these out, answer them, and expound upon your thoughts and feelings. Now go even deeper. Relax and gradually move into automatic writing, expressing whatever you think and feel. Finally ask yourself if you've been honest, objective, and complete in your analysis, and if not, why not? The third component of the Initial Psyche Inventory is to go back and read all of this information from your journal, process your emotions, and then contemplate your story in a noninvolved, observational way. This process of going into your issues, releasing the emotions, and then setting them aside is necessary to achieve detachment. Once you have discharged the emotional impact, your detachment facilitates an inner awareness that allows you the opportunity to reflect on your past and really see the stresses, beliefs, behaviors, and coping mechanisms that motivated your actions. This may be difficult, but allow yourself to go back and relive the events of your life and feel the emotions that you had avoided or stuffed away in the past. Sit with your feelings and thoughts and allow yourself to become aware of them. Now allow yourself to express your feelings, laugh or cry, be angry or hurt. Write, feel, and think deeply about each memory and release the emotions surrounding it. Wring out each and every detail of your emotional memory, then set it completely aside for a bit and

work on something else. After you have taken some time away from a particular event or issue, go back to reexplore it. Return to it as necessary to reread and process this information until it is no longer emotionally charged and you can logically look at all the components of who, what, how, and why. The goal in this part of the process is not to re-traumatize yourself. The goal is to reduce the power of the event through examination. Often, a painful memory is just a memory that we have avoided, repressed, and allowed to fester in our subconscious. Your examination of it during this step releases the pressure and the toxic elements of the event. So keep going back, sifting and resifting through all the details, events, and decisions of your life. Explore with open and honest intention, delving into your life story looking for beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and life-spanning themes, such as loss of self and personal power loss. Be aware of what you are doing as you go over these memories. If you find that the emotional charge of a certain situation will not dissipate, ask yourself why. Has this situation become such a part of your identity that your ego refuses to release it? Look closely at this. Television and movie dramas have glorified the victim in our culture. Are you glorifying your own victimization? Some of us find that we cannot forgive ourselves as we look back. Are you still torturing yourself for something that is long past? Why? If you find that you are unable to discharge the emotions associated with a past event, it means that there is still more underneath the event itself. The next step of the Initial Psyche Inventory process will help you investigate that. The fourth component of the Initial Psyche Inventory is the process of Recapitulation and Reclamation. During the time line and self-exploration exercises of the Psyche Inventory, you will have noticed events, circumstances, or life choices that bring up noticeable emotional responses. These visceral reactions brought about by this process are important to recognize and observe. Although difficult to examine, they provide the window through which you can look into your personal inner workings. The very fact that you still have a reaction to a particular hot-spot is a valid indicator that a part of you, your energy or a soul part, is still caught in that situation. This may also mean that a part or parts of another party involved is trapped there. Often when we are confronted with a powerful memory or stumble across one of our hot-spots, our initial reaction is to push it away, to deny it access to our consciousness by pulling away, or to crumble under its weight in self-indulgence. These are behaviors that we need to unlearn. Imagine these memories are like wriggling fish; great silver creatures that splash into your consciousness and swiftly move to escape, leaving you soggy and reeling every time they surface. In this way you are revictimized with every uncontrollable and unpredictable surfacing. From now on, instead of avoiding or losing more of yourself in the pain, your job is to reach out, grab the leviathan by the tail, and follow it down into the murky depths of your own entrapment. In this way you can reign in your avoidance or selfindulgent behaviors and walk into these life circumstances fully conscious and aware of your mission to free yourself of the hold these events have on you. It could be an old love, a great

regret, a trauma, or a source of shame for you. Whatever it is, instead of shying away, get excited when you come across one of these hot-spots. You are about to learn how to actively use the Psyche Inventory process and the strength of your personal will to move toward wholeness by reclaiming this valuable part of yourself and releasing past entrapments. To begin your self-rescue mission, you need to determine why and how parts of yourself became trapped. Purposefully engage yourself in this process. You are searching for the key to the power this situation has over you. Don't flinch. Don't be hasty. With patience, strength, and your will, delve into the situation until you can identify what you lost or what you have carried with you since this happened. Sit quietly and allow the memory of the same situation you have just explored to wash over you. Open yourself to your truth spot and the inner wisdom of your soul-self as you ask and answer these questions. 1. Is this situation still emotionally charged for me? 2. If no, this situation has been disarmed through the exploration process. Return to the time line and continue to explore and release other situations or move to the Ongoing Psyche Inventory (see page 198). 3. If yes, what emotions stand out initially? 4. Looking underneath these initial reactions at the dynamics of the entire situation, what do I feel? 5. What do I think? 6. Does this situation challenge the way I think things should be? 7. What are my beliefs that hold this view in place? 8. What happened that I can't get past? 9. What part of myself did I leave behind? 10. Did I give a part of myself to another person? If yes, who? 11. How? 12. Why? 13. Is there something that attached itself to me during the course of this situation? If yes, what? 14. From whom or where?

15. How and why? 16. Is there something that I took from this situation or another person? 17. If yes, what? 18. From whom and where? 19. How and why? 20. Is there a part of myself still trapped in this situation? If yes, what part? 21. Where and how is this trapped? 22. What does this feel like? (I know that this is the point at which I must grab the parts of myself and my energy that I lost and/or release whatever attached to me that holds me in bondage.) Continuing to stand openly and honestly inside of the situation, I ask: 1. How do I reclaim what is mine? 2. If the answer is reasonable, moral, agreeable, and do-able right now, do it. 3. Description of what I did and my experience: 4. My interpretation of this experience: 5. I feel: 6. I think: If an answer didn't come about how to reclaim your energy, reach out and pick up the energy that you lost and re-internalize it by using the strength of your will. Sit openly in this situation and feel the energy of you. Not your thoughts or emotions, or the thoughts or emotions of another, but the energy of you. This is something that is usually felt with your energy field, and it often feels like a warm familiarity that resonates with the inside of your body. This may be a little foreign at first but as you focus and allow yourself to feel, you will notice this energy. When you do, powerfully take back this energy that is yours by feeling and visualizing that energy leaving the situation and coming back into you. It may look and feel like the old you or it may look and feel different. Either way, it's you. This energy is yours, and has always been yours, so take it back.

1. Description of my experience: 2. I feel: 3. I think: Continuing to stand openly and honestly inside of the situation, I ask: 1. How do I release another's energy or whatever else is attached to me? 2. If the answer is reasonable, moral, agreeable, and do-able right now, do it. 3. Description of what I did and my experience: 4. My interpretation of my experience: 5. I feel: 6. 1 think: If you did not get an answer about getting rid of what attached to you, or what you captured in this situation that is decidedly not yours, use your will to remove it. Visualize and fully feel the entire situation and all of the energies involved. Feel it surrounding you as if you are wearing it like an old coat. Feel the color, the weight, and the texture. Feel the energies, the words, and the emotions. Make sure that you really feel it and then take off this old coat that weighs you down. Wriggle right out of it like a snake shedding its old skin. Scoop it out, brush it off, use your will to send it back. Be done with it. In this case, it's not yours. Give it up! Send it home and be done with it. Notice how much lighter and freer you feel. 1. Description of my experience: 2. I feel: 3. I think: You may also choose to do a journey or meditation with the intention to retrieve the parts of yourself and your energy that you lost and/or release whatever attached to you that holds you in bondage. In your journey or meditation, stand openly and honestly inside of the situation and ask, how do I reclaim what is mine? And how do I release another's energy or whatever else is attached to me? Be gentle with yourself as you return to ordinary consciousness from your journey or meditation and journal your experience. Be sure to address your interpretation, how you feel and what you think about the experience with this sample format.

1. Description of my experience: 2. Interpretation of my experience: 3. I feel: 4. I think: Now that you have succeeded in reclaiming your energy and releasing any attachments within this situation, return to full present consciousness. Completely let go of the memory of this situation. Feel the lightness of being that you achieved by releasing what was not yours. Feel the joy of wholeness that you achieved by reclaiming that piece of yourself. Welcome it home. It has missed you. Hold it within you and rejoice. You just did something wonderful. You actively used your will and incisive mind to repair the damage, pain, or entrapment that held you captive in that situation. The final step in this process is to be mindful that you are finished with this situation now. After you have performed this exercise successfully, you are no longer trapped in this situation in any way. Recognize and accept this finality and completely release the situation and your attachment to it. Sometimes we have become so used to being overwhelmed by a life circumstance that the habit of that feeling presents a very real threat of re-entrapping us. If it does, do this exercise again until it no longer returns. Remember that in almost every circumstance, your energy was caught there due to the influence of your own ego. Your ego stayed in control of your conscious mind, and therefore the threat of emotional pain, by harboring, feeding, and nurturing your feelings of anger, fear, hatred, victimization, paranoia, and self-importance. Once you have reclaimed your lost part and released the acquired parts, you need to be sure not to resew the injury that you just worked so hard to liberate. Embrace your gain at this point, and your freedom. Forgive and release. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and release it all. Consider this psychological rule: A behavioral program is the rule of our life until it is recognized and changed. " In this exercise you have used the Psyche Inventory to recognize the situation for what it is, and you have changed the ultimate outcome through recapitulation and reclamation. Whatever had you in its grip is now gone and cannot rule you any more. Use the exercise in step four (which follows), to discern larger, more repetitive patterns that you can also recognize and joyfully change. Initial Psyche Inventory-Reintegration and Observation The final step of the Initial Psyche Inventory process is to reintegrate and observe. The nature of this process thus far has been to focus the power of your mind into a tool of awareness. This has brought

much of your personal energy up into your head. You can become aware of this by checking to see if your head hurts or feels hot and/or full. If you feel these things, do not be concerned; this is a natural part of the process. However, because our goal is also to establish and maintain balance, it is important that you redistribute your energy throughout your body. "Grounding" and "centering" are techniques that move energy and facilitate balance. To begin, sense the energy in your head. Feel it there. Notice whatever it feels like and say the word descriptions to yourself, out loud if you would like. For example: full, confused, tired, hot, relieved, pounding, empty, whatever you sense. Now take those feelings and visualize them as a golden ball of glowing energy. Pull that energy with your intention down into your body, visualizing it as a column of energy rolling down a bridge that runs from your head to your center. Feel it and see it roll out of your head and into your throat, into your heart, and into your center. Hold it there in your center and allow the energy to fill you up inside. This technique is called "centering." This is a powerful technique to energize your body and clear your head. If you feel you need to move the energy all the way through your body to "ground" it, sense the energy rolling the rest of the way down your torso, into your legs, your feet, and your toes. Imagine roots growing out of the bottom of your feet into the earth and feel the energy roll down through the roots into the earth. Once you have either centered or grounded the energy, close your eyes, take in a deep breath, exhale and relax. Relax your thoughts. Relax your mind. Relax your body. Allow yourself to melt into the chair as your muscles lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. The muscles in your back release. The muscles in your face release. Relax your feelings. Let go of your emotions by allowing them to flow through you and drift away, drifting and floating like a balloon ... drifting further and further away from you until they become so tiny that they disappear into the horizon. Take in another deep breath and fully relax as each thought and each feeling drifts away until your mind is clear and empty. Relax deeper and begin to notice any body sensations, thoughts, or feelings that slip into your consciousness. Recognize that this noticing is the witness aspect of your mind at work. Use this witness in your mind to observe your work. Let go of your emotions and attachments to the situation as much as possible. Review your work openly and honestly, writing down insights on the pages where needed. Repeat this review process as many times as you feel is necessary for you to understand your psyche's involvement in the situation, emotions, issues, and/or patterns that you explored. When you have finished reviewing all of your work, sit back, relax, and contemplate the entire experience. What did you learn about yourself? Did you recognize any patterns? Are there any changes that you need to make? If so, form your goals and devise a plan. One at a time, go back and explore each event or pattern and tap into your memory as deeply as you can, looking at every circumstance surrounding the memory of the situation using this same process. You may be amazed at the thoughts and feelings you never knew you had that will magically appear, revealing subconscious information that you can then begin to process.

When you use the Psyche Inventory process of self-analysis, dip in for short periods of time, and then stand back and let the process cook in the back of your mind. Check in with yourself often to be sure that you are not being consumed by your process. It is important to feel, think, explore, and discover, but it is equally important to remain engaged with your life and not become trapped in your emotional process. If you find that you are feeling preoccupied and unavailable to participate in your daily life, back off, do something else, and resume the process later. Oftentimes this cooling-off period provides needed rest so that when you resume the process you will have more energy and clarity. When the time is right, go back and read your journal, process your emotions, and then contemplate your writings in a noninvolved, observational way.

The following is a brief example of how I used the Initial Psyche Inventory process to help discover one of my deep-seated issues. From the time line, I chose the "big event" of my first marriage because it jumped out at me as an important place to start. I began by describing this situation as thoroughly as I could in my journal. I found the more I wrote, the more I learned about myself and my unconscious motivations and reactions to this situation. This first part of the Psyche Inventory process was instrumental in helping me learn about myself, my motivations, and my reactions. Once I felt I had written all that I could, I began to ask and answer the Psyche Inventory questions for deeper exploration. What circumstances led up to this event? I had recently graduated from college and taken professional employment. This was a big transition period in my life. What decisions were made by me or for me? I guess I thought getting married was the next logical step, and that's what I was supposed to do. Go to college, get a job, get married, have babies, live happily ever after. What was my motivation for letting it happen or making it happen in exactly the way that it had? I really didn't think about it all that much, but I can see now that I was unconsciously following the societal path of a typical, normal, conventional life. What motivations did I attribute to the other people involved back then? Nothing really significant, except my brother tried on several occasions to make me aware of the importance of the decision I was making. Everyone else around me was supportive. They didn't push me into this decision or try to talk me out of it. What motivations do I attribute to the other people involved now? I think my brother could see that my first husband and I were not going to be successful in our marriage.

What did I think or feel back when this was happening? It was such a whirlwind and mostly I was numb. I just followed through with what I thought I was supposed to do. On several occasions, I experienced short blips where I second-guessed my decision. What did I do with those thoughts or feelings? I didn't honor them as a valid inner message asking me to reassess my decision. I blew them off as being "cold feet." How do I feel now looking back on the feelings I had then? I think my inner wisdom was probably telling me to slow down and take a good hard close look at what I was about to do. How do I feel about what I did with those feelings then? I wish I would have been more aware and honored my feelings. Did that event or pattern change my perceptions about myself, others, the world, or life? Most definitely. If so, how? Within the first year of marriage, I realized I had made the wrong decision. Even though I loved my husband dearly, I wasn't ready for marriage yet. I still wanted to be independent, free and adventurous, and it was too late. I was tied down. Did it change my outlook on life? Yes, I began to feel depressed and drank a lot in order to avoid those feelings. Did I somehow agree to this or unconsciously make it my own? Apparently I did. If so, how? I unconsciously imprisoned myself into believing this was the way it was and I settled in to simply trying to survive. I unknowingly accepted this as my lot in life. I didn't know I had any other options. Did it change any of my beliefs? Yes. If so, how? I no longer thought of myself as an independent thinker or as an independent person. My husband didn't ask me to do this, but I totally abdicated myself in order to "make the marriage work." What was my belief before, and what is my belief now? I believed I had to do everything with my husband, as a team. I guess this was role modeled for me by my parents who did almost everything together, so I unconsciously adopted that idea. I now know that this was limiting and stifling for me. It seems to have worked great for my parents, who are still happily married after many years, but not for me. I gave up personal growth and nurturing my soul because I thought I had to behave a certain way because I was married. I had unconsciously bought into the "good wife-June Cleaver" ideal. I now know that it is possible to have a great relationship with someone and maintain my own identity, likes and dislikes, separate activities, and independence. Did it change any of my behaviors? Yes. Ifso, how? I stopped doing things that I enjoyed doing if my husband wasn't interested in them. I didn't think it was any problem then, but now I can see how that began to slowly change me.

Does any of this affect any of my behaviors or my health now? Yes. If so, how? I think it is still easy for me to lose myself in my relationships, and I have to maintain constant awareness about this. When I lose myself, I lose my soul-self connection, personal power, and personal energy, and illness symptoms reappear. Do I feel that I have adopted any identifications, behaviors, or programs as a result? Yes. If so, describe them. This process caused me to see that I had a whole series of unconscious identifications and expectations about what it meant to be a wife and later a mother. These deeply ingrained societal programs were making it difficult for me to honor myself by taking care of my needs and allowing myself to be an important priority. What happened from that point forward in the time line of my life? For a long time, I martyred myself and ignored my desires for personal independence. I gradually lost more and more of myself to the relationship and to my perceived roles as wife, mother, and employee until about eight years later when my internal wisdom became unavoidable through emotional unrest. I divorced my first husband, but because I was not yet aware of this pattern, the same thing began to happen in my second marriage. This time my internal message came in the form of a debilitating illness. The rest of the story has been exploring all of these hidden programs, behaviors, and beliefs, becoming awake and aware, and reconnecting with my soul-self by employing this process over and over again. What do I feel about all of this now? I am thankful for the learning I received from this part of my life journey and thankful for my beautiful daughter who came from this union. Go deeper. What feelings are underneath these initial feelings? I am sorry for all the pain this divorce caused everyone involved. Are there any feelings underneath those? I wish I would have lived alone and found my true self before I married. Keep going as deeply into all of your feelings as possible by continuing to ask yourself "Is there anything deeper?" and "What is underneath that feeling?" Basically the same as above. I wish I would have lived alone and found my true self before I married. I feel like I gave up my dream of saving whales with Greenpeace by becoming a wife. And maybe, it wasn't just giving up that dream. Maybe, it was really giving up myself, and my soul. I now see that I gave up the power of knowing myself as an independent being and finding the inner strength that comes with independence. Are there any questions of my own that come to mind that I should ask myself to dig further into this issue? Yes. If so, write these out, answer them and expound upon your thoughts and feelings. By subjugating myself to a conventional life, do I think I missed out on something important that I needed? Yes. I feel like I missed out on learning how to nurture and sustain my soul in ways that would help me be happy and whole. Because my focus changed from myself to the other person and my perceived roles, I no longer considered taking care of myself important.

Does this event still affect me now? Somewhat. It's more difficult to learn how to take care of myself and to allow myself to make that a priority now that the old behaviors and beliefs have become ingrained. Can I change how I chose to respond to this now? Yes. I can free myself by continuing to explore this issue and make choices that honor my needs and my true nature. When you have finished with all of the questions and answers that you can think of, then ask yourself if there are any thoughts, details, or feelings that you have missed? As I dig deeper, I feel anger boiling up inside of me. I am angry at myself for being so ignorant and unaware of my own needs and desires. I am angry at myself for allowing myself to be blindly led down the path of societal conformity instead of following my inner knowings and soul path. I know that I can change this now, but I still feel angry and must honor this feeling before I move on and change my destiny. Have I been honest and objective in my analysis, and if not, why not? Yes. I have been honest and open even though, at times, it was difficult to deal with such deeply ingrained and sensitive issues, but I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Typically, growth is not comfortable. Growth is not convenient and processing is not easy. However, the personal freedom and enlightenment born from each binding program released is more than worth the pain and struggle. My recapitulation and reclamation experience entailed going on a personal journey. A very brief summary of this experience follows. Moving quickly down the tunnel into the lower-world, my Power Animal, moose, met me right away and took me to a river. He instructed me to look into the river and see where energy from my ex-husband still lived inside of me. I looked into the pristine water and saw myself reflected back. Upon further investigation I saw a flickering flame in my heart. Moose instructed me to take the flame out of my heart and energetically send it back to him. He then instructed me to look into the river once more to find the energy that belongs to me that I lost from this situation. I looked deeply into the rippling water for what seemed like a long time. I felt entranced b y the movement and rhythm, and then it caught my attention. A large, smooth, shiny river stone seemed to be glowing at the bottom of a deep pool. I dove in after it, feeling the cool water cleanse my body and energy field. I picked up the stone and held it tightly to my stomach until it disappeared within me. Floating in the refreshing water, I felt the energy settle and integrate into my solar plexus until the change of the drumbeat called me back. After a few moments, I journaled my experience and completed the reintegration and observation processes of deep reflection. The Ongoing Psyche Inventory True healing comes from owning and accepting all sides of ourselves. Similar to the Initial Psyche Inventory, the Ongoing Psyche Inventory utilizes the process of

journaling, questioning, answering, deep contemplation, and automatic writing to help you integrate and understand your life-lessons, current issues, emotions, and feelings. By questioning, answering, and writing, your conscious mind is able to reach deep into your subconscious to uncover issues that you may be having trouble reaching in any other way. This process helps you to explore and cut through your emotions and ego defense like cutting away the layers of an onion to reach the core issue deep within. The Ongoing Psyche Inventory process can be used to explore any issue or aspect of yourself. For example, if you are experiencing fatigue, you can use this process to expose areas and situations where energy is being drained; or perhaps you are struggling with a physical or psychological complaint where you can choose to use this process to explore the origins or your reactions to the problem. The options are limitless. Simply decide what you would like to explore and employ the question and answer, recapitulation and reclamation process, adapting questions where necessary to fit your topic. Two Ongoing Psyche Inventory options, examining a situation and exploring a recurring emotion, are demonstrated in this chapter. If there is an event or situation in your life right now that would be beneficial for you to examine, the Ongoing Psyche Inventory-Situation section below will guide you through this process. If this is not the case, you can return to this section anytime a situation arises that you would like to examine. If a recurring emotion or feeling is signaling the need for further exploration, skip ahead to the Ongoing Psyche Inventory-Recurring Emotion section (see page 209) for guidance through this process. Ongoing Psyche Inventory-Situation We sometimes become aware of our personal issues from an external source, such as a comment made by a family member, friend, boss, or coworker, that stays in our mind and bothers us. In other instances, an event or a situation will bring up an issue or a feeling we had not previously addressed. These circumstances can be used to help us uncover hidden issues that may not have come up for us during the Initial Psyche Inventory phase. If a comment, event, or situation has triggered persistent thoughts or an emotional reaction, you may wish to explore it now with the Ongoing Psyche Inventory. To begin, I recommend that you take about fifteen minutes right now to do the Creating Internal Awareness visualization to help yourself relax and become more aware. Be gentle with yourself as you return to ordinary consciousness, take a short break, and then delve into your exploration by asking yourself these questions: 1. Do I think about this situation frequently? Occasionally? Never? 2. What is happening in my present-day life when the thought of this situation pops into my head? Are the stimulus and the memory related in some way? How?

3. Do the core issues surrounding this situation represent a pattern that has expressed itself throughout my life? 4. Is there someone in my life telling me or showing me that I have an issue I need to address? If yes, who? 5. What is the issue? 6. Why is there an issue? 7. Do I agree that there is an issue? 8. What is my role in the issue? 9. What are the roles of others in this issue? 10. What is this issue trying to communicate about me? 11. What do I think about this issue? 12. What do I think and feel about how I am responding to this issue? 13. Am I feeling anything? 14. What am I feeling? 15. Go deeper. What feelings are underneath these initial feelings? 16. Are there any feelings underneath those? Keep going as deeply into all of your thoughts and feelings as possible by continuing to ask yourself "Is there anything deeper?" and "What is underneath that feeling?" 1. What am I doing with these feelings? Am I avoiding them, stuffing them inside of me, or allowing them to flow freely through me? 2. Is there something else I could do with these feelings that would be healthier? 3. Does this situation challenge any of my self-identifications or beliefs? If so, what are these? Where did they originate? Are they still valid for me now? 4. Do I need to re-access these self-identifications and beliefs now that I am an adult? 5. Does this situation trigger a deeper core issue? If yes, what?

6. Is it something from my past? If so, what? Why? 7. Where and how did the core issue or feeling originate? 8. Do I need to change any of my characteristics or my behaviors in any way? What is this situation trying to teach me? 9. Are there any thoughts, details, or feelings that I have missed? 10. Are there any questions of my own that come to mind that I should ask myself to delve further into this issue? If so, write these out, answer them, and expound upon your thoughts and feelings. Now go even deeper. Relax and gradually move into automatic writing, expressing whatever you think and feel. The second component of the Ongoing Psyche Inventory is to go back and read all of this information from your journal, process your emotions, and then contemplate the situation in a noninvolved, observational way. This process of going into your issues, releasing the emotions, and then setting them aside is necessary to achieve detachment. Once you have discharged the emotional impact, your detachment facilitates an inner awareness that allows you the opportunity to reflect on the situation and really see the stresses, beliefs, behaviors, and coping mechanisms that motivated your actions. Sit with your feelings and thoughts and allow yourself to become aware of them. Now allow yourself to express your feelings, laugh or cry, be angry or hurt. Write, feel, and think deeply about the situation and release the emotions surrounding it. Wring out each and every detail, and then go back to reexplore it. Return to it as necessary to reread and process this information until it is no longer emotionally charged and you can logically look at all the components of who, what, how, and why. Remember that the goal in this part of the process is not to re-traumatize yourself. The goal is to reduce the power of the event through examination. Remember that a painful memory is just a memory that we have avoided, repressed, and allowed to fester in our subconscious. Your task is to examine the issue, not to indulge it, or your reactions to it. Your examination of it during this step releases the pressure and the toxic elements of the event. Keep going back, sifting and resifting through all the details of the situation. Explore with open and honest intention, looking to uncover beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and life-spanning themes. Be aware of this intention as you go over the details. If you find that the emotional charge of a certain situation will not dissipate, ask yourself why. Has this situation become such a part of your identity that your ego refuses to release it? Look closely at this. If you find that you are unable to discharge the emotions associated with the situation, it means that there is still more underneath the situation itself. The next step of the Psyche Inventory process will help you investigate that. To begin your self-rescue mission of Recapitulation and Reclamation, you need to determine why

and how parts of yourself became trapped. Purposefully engage yourself in this process. You are searching for the key to the power this situation has over you. Don't flinch. Don't be hasty. With patience, strength, and your will, delve into the situation until you can identify what you have lost or have carried with you since this happened. Sit quietly and allow the memory of the same situation you have just explored to wash over you. Open yourself to your truth spot and the inner wisdom of your soul-self as you ask and answer these questions. Is this situation still emotionally charged for me? If no, this situation has been disarmed through the exploration process. Return to the time line and continue to explore and release other situations or move to the Ongoing Psyche Inventory. If yes, what emotions stand out initially? 1. Looking underneath these initial reactions at the dynamics of the entire situation, what do I feel? 2. What do I think? 3. Does this situation challenge the way I think things should be? 4. What are my beliefs that hold this view in place? 5. What happened that I can't get past? 6. What part of myself did I leave behind? 7. Did I give a part of myself to another person? If yes, who? 8. How? 9. Why? 10. Is there something that attached itself to me during the course of this situation? If yes, what? 11. From whom or where? 12. How and why? 13. Is there something that I took from this situation or another person? 14. If yes, what? 15. From whom and where?

16. How and why? 17. Is there a part of myself still trapped in this situation? If yes, what part? 18. Where and how is it trapped? 19. What does this feel like? (I know that this is the point at which I must grab the parts of myself and my energy that I lost and/or release whatever attached to me that holds me in bondage.) Continuing to stand openly and honestly inside of the situation, I ask: 1. How do I reclaim what is mine? 2. If the answer is reasonable, moral, agreeable, and do-able right now, do it. 3. Description of what I did and my experience: 4. My interpretation of this experience: 5. I feel: 6. I think: If an answer didn't come about how to reclaim your energy, reach out and pick up the energy that you lost and re-internalize it by using the strength of your will. Sit openly in this situation and feel the energy of you. Not your thoughts or emotions, or the thoughts or emotions of another, but the energy of you. This is something that is usually felt with your energy field, and it often feels like a warm familiarity that resonates with the inside of your body. This may be a little foreign at first but as you focus and allow yourself to feel, you will notice this energy. When you do, powerfully take back this energy that is yours by feeling and visualizing that energy leaving the situation and coming back into you. It may look and feel like the old you or it may look and feel different. Either way, it's you. This energy is yours, and has always been yours, so take it back. 1. Description of my experience: 2. I feel: 3. I think: Continuing to stand openly and honestly inside of the situation, I ask:

1. How do I release another's energy or whatever else is attached to me? 2. If the answer is reasonable, moral, agreeable, and do-able right now, do it. 3. Description of what I did and my experience: 4. My interpretation of my experience: 5. I feel: 6. I think: If you did not get an answer about getting rid of what attached to you or what you captured in this situation that is decidedly not yours, use your will to remove it. Visualize and fully feel the entire situation and all of the energies involved. Feel it surrounding you as if you are wearing it like an old coat. Feel the color, the weight, and the texture. Feel the energies, the words, and the emotions. Make sure that you really feel it and then take off this old coat that weights you down. Wriggle right out of it like a snake shedding its old skin. Scoop it out, brush it off, use your will to send it back. Be done with it. In this case, it's not yours. Give it up! Send it home and be done with it. Notice how much lighter and freer you feel. 1. Description of my experience: 2. I feel: 3. I think: You may also choose to do a journey or meditation with the intention to retrieve the parts of yourself and your energy that you lost and/or release whatever attached to you that holds you in bondage. In your journey or meditation, stand openly and honestly inside of the situation and ask, "How do I reclaim what is mine? And how do I release another's energy or whatever else is attached to me?" Be gentle with yourself as you return to ordinary consciousness from your journey or meditation and journal your experience. Be sure to address your interpretation, how you feel, and what you think about the experience with this sample format. 1. Description of my experience: 2. Interpretation of my experience: 3. I feel: 4. 1 think:

Now that you have succeeded in reclaiming your energy and releasing any attachments within this situation, return to full present consciousness. Completely let go of the memory of this situation. Feel the lightness of being that you achieved by releasing what was not yours. Feel the joy of wholeness that you achieved by reclaiming that piece of yourself. Welcome it home. It has missed you. Hold it within you and rejoice. You just did something wonderful. You actively used your will and incisive mind to repair the damage, pain, or entrapment that held you captive in that situation. The final step in this process is to be mindful that you are finished with this situation now. After you have performed this exercise successfully, you are no longer trapped in this situation in any way. Recognize and accept this finality and completely release the situation and your attachment to it. Sometimes we have become so used to being overwhelmed by a life circumstance that the habit of that feeling presents a very real threat of re-entrapping us. If it does, do this exercise again and again until it no longer returns. Remember that in almost every circumstance, your energy was caught there due to the influence of your own ego. Your ego stayed in control of your conscious mind, and therefore the threat of emotional pain, by harboring, feeding, and nurturing your feelings of anger, fear, hatred, victimization, paranoia, and self-importance. Once you have reclaimed your lost part and released the acquired parts, you need to be sure not to resew the injury that you just worked so hard to liberate. Embrace your gain at this point, and your freedom. Forgive and release. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and release it all. In this exercise you have used the Psyche Inventory to recognize the situation for what it is, and you have changed the ultimate outcome through recapitulation and reclamation. Whatever had you in its grip is now gone and cannot rule you any more. Use the exercise in step four (which follows), to discern larger, more repetitive patterns that you can also recognize and joyfully change. Ongoing Psyche Inventory-Reintegration and Observation The final step of the Ongoing Psyche Inventory process is to reintegrate and observe. The nature of this process thus far has been to focus the power of your mind into a tool of awareness. This has brought much of your personal energy up into your head. You can become aware of this by checking to see if your head hurts or feels hot and/or full. If you feel these things, do not be concerned; this is a natural part of the process. However, because our goal is also to establish and maintain balance, it is important that you redistribute your energy throughout your body. "Grounding" and "centering" are techniques that move energy and facilitate balance. To begin, sense the energy in your head. Feel it there. Notice whatever it feels like and say the word descriptions to yourself, out loud if you would like. For example; full, confused, tired, hot, relieved, pounding, empty, whatever you sense. Now take those feelings and visualize them as a golden ball of glowing energy. Pull that energy with your intention down into your body, visualizing it as a column of energy rolling down a bridge that runs from your head to your center. Feel it and see it roll out of your head and into your throat, into your

heart, and into your center. Hold it there in your center and allow the energy to fill you up inside. This technique is called "centering." This is a powerful technique to energize your body and clear your head. If you feel you need to move the energy all the way through your body to ground it, sense the energy rolling the rest of the way down your torso, into your legs, your feet, and your toes. Imagine roots growing out of the bottom of your feet into the earth and feel the energy roll down through the roots into the earth. Once you have either centered or grounded the energy, close your eyes, take in a deep breath, exhale and relax. Relax your thoughts. Relax your mind. Relax your body. Allow yourself to melt into the chair as your muscles lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. The muscles in your back release. The muscles in your face release. Relax your feelings. Let go of your emotions by allowing them to flow through you and drift away, drifting and floating like balloons ... drifting further and further away from you until they become so tiny that they disappear into the horizon. Take in another deep breath and fully relax as each thought and each feeling drifts away until your mind is clear and empty. Relax deeper and begin to notice any body sensations, thoughts, or feelings that slip into your consciousness. Recognize that this noticing is the witness aspect of your mind at work. Use this witness in your mind to observe your work. Let go of your emotions and attachments to the situation as much as possible. Review your work openly and honestly, writing down insights in your journal where needed. Repeat this review process as many times as you feel is necessary for you to understand your psyche's involvement in the situation, emotions, issues, and/or patterns that you explored. When you have finished reviewing all of your work, sit back, relax, and contemplate the entire experience. What did you learn about yourself? Did you recognize any patterns? Are there any changes that you need to make? If so, form your goals and devise a future plan. Remember when you employ the Psyche Inventory process of self-analysis to dip in for short periods of time, and then stand back and let the process cook in the back of your mind. Check in with yourself often to be sure that you are not being consumed by your process. It is important to feel, think, explore, and discover, but it is equally important to remain engaged with your life and not become trapped in your emotional process. If you find that you are feeling preoccupied and unavailable to participate in your daily life, back off, do something else, and resume the process later. Oftentimes this cool-off period provides needed rest so that when you resume the process you will have more energy and clarity. When the time is right, go back and read your journal, process your emotions, and then contemplate your writings in a noninvolved, observational way.

The following is an example of how I used the Ongoing Psyche Inventory process in a situation when a behavior pattern was brought to my attention inadvertently by a friend. While working on a project one afternoon, my friend and I took a break for a walk to the river. During our discussion of the

internal workings of people, he assessed certain personal characteristics about me that triggered an instant emotional reaction. He pointed out that he had observed me displaying rigid and compulsive tendencies. I was instantly offended and angry. Frustrated and confused, I tried not to react overtly and I changed the subject. Throughout the next week, the nagging memory of his statement lingered with me and troubled me. I decided I needed to explore what I was feeling with the Psyche Inventory process so I sat down with my journal and went to work. I began the process by asking myself, What am I feeling? Angry and sad, I answer. What am I doing with these feelings? Ignoring them up until sitting down to write and explore. I didn't want to address this issue inside of myself, but I am tired of feeling this way so now I will. As I write, I recognize that anger and sadness are emotions, a storm, so I dig deeper. What is deeper than the anger and sadness? I feel confused. I know this is another emotion so I keep asking myself to discover more. Why do I feel confused? I try to relax and sit with this emotion for a while until the answer bubbles forth. I feel that he is wrong, yet I feel that he might also be right. Why do I feel this way? I'm not sure, so I ask a different question. Does this situation challenge any of my selfidentifications or beliefs? Yes, it does. If so, what are these? I thought I was pretty flexible and able to go with the flow, but if the characteristics he described are true, then I am deluding myself So I ask myself, Could he be right? Do I have rigid and compulsive tendencies? Yes, I finally admit to myself after much contemplation. I do like to have things go my way, and I am not always as flexible as I think I am or would like to be. As I continue to expand on this idea through automatic writing, memories pop into my mind and onto the pages of my journal of situations that validate his insight. Does this situation trigger a deeper core issue? Probably. Ifyes, what? Control issues, I answer. I become aware that I really do like to feel in control. If I am not in control, I feel insecure. Where and how did the core issue or feeling originate? From feeling out of control at times in my life. Does this stem from something in my past? "Doesn't everything?" I sarcastically write in my journal. If so, what? Pondering this question for a long time, I finally write, probably I learned this from my Dad, who is a very strong and powerful man. Why? Because it has gotten him far in his life, I answer. He has been successful in business, in raising a family, and in overcoming a lot of hardships in his life. As I delve deeper into my psyche, I remember that as a child and a teenager it was always clear that my Dad was in charge, yet I often challenged his authority. Why did I need to do that? I inquire further. To gain power, to test my wings in combat, and to learn about conflict. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? This seems like a good thing, I write, so I am confused about my reaction to my friend's comment. Is it possible that my friend's insights were not a criticism, but simply an observation? Yes, it is possible, but then why did I react? Do I think there is something wrong with these characteristics? Yes, I think rigidity can be personally limiting and I don't want to be locked into a confining set of behaviors. However, I also want to be strong, self-sufficient, and independent. So, what is this

situation trying to teach me? It is teaching me this information that I needed to know about myself. It is also teaching me to learn how to balance being in control and using my personal power along with my ability to surrender and go with the flow. My emotional reaction created the opportunity for this insight and awareness. Do I need to change my characteristics or my behavior in any way? Not right now. I feel that what I need to do from now on is act from this place of insight and awareness. It is neither healthy to bully others around by needing to be in control nor to roll over and be a doormat that others walk on from lack of personal power. I feel my best course of action would be to balance both by remaining open and aware of my reactions and motivations. I will also continue to explore this issue periodically and remain open to change as I continue to experience myself in situations that test this idea. As I continue to write, I ask myself again, What am I feeling now?Am I still angry or confused? No, I am thankful to be shown this area of my personality so I can now choose to act with awareness. I am feeling comfortable with myself, with my choices, and with my friend's insights. Are there any thoughts, details, or feelings that I have missed? No, I feel this is complete for now. My recapitulation and reclamation experience entailed going on a personal journey. A very brief summary of this experience follows. Immediately after reaching my departure point, I shape-shifted into a loon and ascended into the upper world. Upon arriving in the ocean layer that separates the middle- and upper-worlds in my journeys, I turned into a mermaid version of myself and swam with my Power Animal, the sea turtle. I was shown that I hadn't lost or taken on any energy in this instance but that learning to float and flow with the rhythms of the ocean would teach me to be less rigid in my everyday life. So I swam and floated and played with my sea turtle friend until the change of the drumbeat called me back. After a few moments I journaled my experience and completed the reintegration and observation processes of deep reflection. Ongoing Psyche Inventory-Recurring Emotions We can also become aware of our issues when our internal wisdom alerts us through feelings of unrest. When we first notice that we are feeling something of issue, it usually appears as an uncomfortable emotion. Emotions are often stormy and that is how they get our attention. Underlying the stormy emotions are the actual feelings we are experiencing, and underlying those feelings is the core issue that we are trying to resolve. It is our job as truth seekers and self-healers to acknowledge the emotion and then dig deeper to reveal the feelings and the issue to which our inner wisdom has been trying to alert us. Once you have identified that something is bothering you, honor and acknowledge whatever you are feeling and then employ the Psyche Inventory process to guide you deeper and deeper into self-understanding to discern the message. To begin, I recommend that you take about fifteen minutes right now to do the Creating Internal Awareness visualization (see page 50) to help yourself relax and become more aware. Be gentle with yourself as you return to ordinary consciousness, take a short break, and then delve into your exploration by asking yourself these questions:

1. Am I feeling anything? 2. What am I feeling? 3. What do I feel that is deeper than this feeling? 4. Why do I feel this? 5. Go deeper. What feelings are underneath these initial feelings? 6. Are there any feelings underneath those? 7. Keep going as deeply into all of your thoughts and feelings as possible by continuing to ask yourself "Is there anything deeper?" and "What is underneath that feeling?" 8. What is this feeling trying to teach me? 9. What am I doing with these feelings? 10. Am I avoiding them, stuffing them inside of me, or allowing them to flow freely through me? 11. Is there something else I could do with these feelings that would be healthier? 12. Does this feeling trigger a deeper core issue? If so, what is it? Where did it originate? 13. Is it something from my past? If so, what? Why? 14. Where and how did the core issue or feeling originate? 15. Does this feeling or issue challenge any of my self-identifications or beliefs? 16. Are they still valid for me now? 17. Do I need to re-access these self-identifications and beliefs now that I am an adult? 18. Do I need to change any of my characteristics or my behaviors in any way? 19. Are there any thoughts, details, or feelings that I have missed? 20. Are there any questions of my own that come to mind that I should ask myself to dig further into this issue? If so, write these out, answer them, and expound upon your thoughts and feelings. Now go even deeper. Relax and gradually move into automatic writing, expressing whatever you think

and feel. By now you should be well versed in the procedure involving the second component of the Ongoing Psyche Inventory. Go back and read all of this information from your journal, process your emotions, and then contemplate everything in a noninvolved, observational way. This process of going into your issues, releasing the emotions, and then setting them aside is necessary to achieve detachment. Once you have discharged the emotional impact, your detachment facilitates an inner awareness that allows you the opportunity to reflect on the emotion and really see the stresses, beliefs, behaviors, and coping mechanisms underlying your reactions. Sit with your feelings and thoughts and allow yourself to become aware of them. Allow yourself to express your feelings, laugh or cry, be angry or hurt. Write, feel, and think deeply about the emotion. Wring out each and every detail, and then go back again and again, rereading and processing this information until it is no longer emotionally charged and you can logically look at all the components of who, what, how, and why. Always be mindful that the goal in this part of the process is not to re-traumatize yourself. The goal is to reduce the power of the event through examination. A painful memory is just a memory that we have avoided, repressed, and allowed to fester in our subconscious. Your examination of it during this step releases the pressure and the toxic elements of the event. So keep going back, sifting and resifting through all the details of the emotion. Explore with open and honest intention, looking to uncover beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and life-spanning themes. Be aware of this intention as you go over the details. If you find that the emotional charge will not dissipate, ask yourself why. Has this emotion become such a part of your identity that your ego refuses to release it? Look closely at this. If you find that you are unable to discharge the emotions, it means that there is still more underneath the emotion itself. The next step of the Psyche Inventory process will help you investigate that. To begin your self-rescue mission of recapitulation and reclamation, you need to determine why and how parts of yourself became trapped. Purposefully engage yourself in this process. You are searching for the key to the power this emotion has over you. Don't flinch. Don't be hasty. With patience, strength, and your will, delve into the emotion until you can identify what you have lost or have carried with you that causes this. Sit quietly and allow the emotion you have just explored to wash over you. Open yourself to your truth spot and the inner wisdom of your soul-self as you ask and answer these questions. 1. Is this still emotionally charged for me? 2. If no, this emotion has been disarmed through the exploration process. Return to the time line and continue to explore and release other situations or move to the Ongoing Psyche Inventory. 3. If yes, what emotions stand out initially? 4. Looking underneath these initial reactions at the dynamics of the entire emotion, what do I feel?

5. What do I think? 6. Does this situation challenge the way I think things should be? 7. What are my beliefs that hold this view in place? 8. What happened that I can't get past? 9. What part of myself did I leave behind? 10. Did I give a part of myself to another person? If yes, who? 11. How? 12. Why? 13. Is there something that has attached itself to me? If yes, what? 14. From whom or where? 15. How and why? 16. Is there something that I took? 17. If yes, what? 18. From whom and where? 19. How and why? 20. Is there a part of myself still trapped? If yes, what part? 21. Where and how is it trapped? 22. What does this feel like? (I know that this is the point at which I must grab the parts of myself and my energy that I lost and/or release whatever attached to me that holds me in bondage.) Continuing to stand openly and honestly inside of the emotion, I ask: 1. How do I reclaim what is mine? 2. If the answer is reasonable, moral, agreeable, and do-able right now, do it.

3. Description of what I did and my experience: 4. My interpretation of this experience: 5. I feel: 6. I think: If an answer didn't come about how to reclaim your energy, reach out and pick up the energy that you lost and re-internalize it by using the strength of your will. Sit openly in this emotion and feel the energy of you. Not your thoughts or emotions, or the thoughts or emotions of another, but the energy of you. This is something that is usually felt with your energy field, and it often feels like a warm familiarity that resonates with the inside of your body. This may be a little foreign at first but as you focus and allow yourself to feel, you will notice this energy. When you do, powerfully take back this energy that is yours by feeling and visualizing that energy leaving the situation and coming back into you. It may look and feel like the old you or it may look and feel different. Either way, it's you. This energy is yours, and has always been yours, so take it back. 1. Description of my experience: 2. I feel: 3. I think: Continuing to stand openly and honestly inside of the emotion, I ask: 1. How do I release another's energy or whatever else is attached to me? 2. If the answer is reasonable, moral, agreeable, and do-able right now, do it. 3. Description of what I did and my experience: 4. My interpretation of my experience: 5. I feel: 6. I think: If you did not get an answer about getting rid of what attached to you or what you captured in this situation that is decidedly not yours, use your will to remove it. Visualize and fully feel the entire emotion and all of the energies involved. Feel it surrounding you as if you are wearing it like an old coat. Feel the color, the weight, and the texture. Feel the energies, the words, and the emotions. Make

sure that you really feel it and then take off this old coat that weights you down. Wriggle right out of it like a snake shedding its old skin. Scoop it out, brush it off, use your will to send it back. Be done with it. In this case, it's not yours. Give it up! Send it home and be done with it. Notice how much lighter and freer you feel. 1. Description of my experience: 2. I feel: 3. I think: Now that you have succeeded in reclaiming your energy and releasing any attachments within this emotion, return to full present consciousness. Completely let go of the emotion. Feel the lightness of being that you achieved by releasing what was not yours. Feel the joy of wholeness that you achieved by reclaiming that piece of yourself. Welcome it home. It has missed you. Hold it within you and rejoice. You just did something wonderful. You actively used your will and incisive mind to repair the damage, pain, or entrapment that held you captive in an emotion. The final step in this process is to be mindful that you are finished with this emotion now. After you have performed this exercise successfully, you are no longer trapped in this emotion in any way. Recognize and accept this finality and completely release the emotion and your attachment to it. Sometimes we have become so used to being overwhelmed by an emotion that the habit of that feeling presents a very real threat of re-entrapping us. If it does, do this exercise again and again until it no longer returns. Remember that in almost every circumstance, your energy was caught there due to the influence of your own ego. Once you have reclaimed your energy and released the acquired energies, you need to be sure not to resew the injury that you just worked so hard to liberate. Embrace your gain at this point, and your freedom. Forgive and release. Forgive them, forgive yourself, and release it all. In this exercise you have used the Psyche Inventory to recognize the emotion for what it is, and you have changed your reaction to it through recapitulation and reclamation. Whatever had you in its grip is now gone and cannot rule you any more. Ongoing Psyche Inventory-Reintegration and Observation The final step of the Psyche Inventory process is to reintegrate and observe. The nature of this process thus far has been to focus the power of your mind into a tool of awareness. This has brought much of your personal energy up into your head. You can become aware of this by checking to see if your head hurts or feels hot and/or full. If you feel these things, do not be concerned; this is a natural part of the process. However, because our goal is also to establish and maintain balance, it is important that you redistribute your energy throughout your body. "Grounding" or "centering" are techniques that move energy and create balance. To begin, sense the energy in your head. Feel it there. Notice whatever it

feels like and say the word descriptions to yourself, out loud if you would like. For example, full, confused, tired, hot, relieved, pounding, empty, whatever you sense. Now take those feelings and visualize them as a golden ball of glowing energy. Pull that energy with your intention down into your body, visualizing it as a column of energy rolling down a bridge that runs from your head to your center. Feel it and see it roll out of your head and into your throat, into your heart, and into your center. Hold it there in your center and allow the energy to fill you up inside; this is called "centering." This is a powerful technique to energize your body and clear your head. If you feel you need to move the energy all the way through your body to ground it, sense the energy rolling the rest of the way down your torso, into your legs, your feet, and your toes. Imagine roots growing out of the bottom of your feet into the earth and feel the energy roll down through the roots into the earth. Once you have either centered or grounded the energy, close your eyes, take in a deep breath, exhale and relax. Relax your thoughts. Relax your mind. Relax your body. Allow yourself to melt into the chair as your muscles lengthen and uncoil, loosen and relax. The muscles in your back release. The muscles in your face release. Relax your feelings. Let go of your emotions by allowing them to flow through you and drift away, drifting and floating like a balloon ... drifting further and further away from you until they become so tiny that they disappear into the horizon. Take in another deep breath and fully relax as each thought and each feeling drifts away until your mind is clear and empty. Relax deeper and begin to notice any body sensations, thoughts, or feelings that slip into your consciousness. Recognize that this noticing is the witness aspect of your mind at work. Use this witness in your mind to observe your work. Let go of your emotions and attachments to the situation as much as possible. Review your work openly and honestly, writing down insights on the pages where needed. Repeat this review process as many times as you feel is necessary for you to understand your psyche's involvement in the situation, emotions, issues, and/or patterns that you explored. When you have finished reviewing all of your work, sit back, relax, and contemplate the entire experience. What did you learn about yourself? Did you recognize any patterns? Are there any changes that you need to make? If so, form your goals and devise a plan.

To illustrate how to use this technique, the following is a description of my personal use of the Psyche Inventory process for emotional exploration. Throughout the week I had noticed periodically that I was feeling depressed. I was unsure why I would be feeling depressed when everything seemed to be going fine in my life, so I decided to sit down with my journal and explore this internal indicator. I began by asking myself, What am I feeling? Depression, I answer. What am I doing with these feelings? I have been ignoring them part of the time and struggling to figure them out the other part. As I write, I recognize that depression is an emotion, a storm, so I dig deeper. What is deeper than the depression? I feel sad. I know this is another emotion so I keep asking myself to discover more. Why

do I feel sad and depressed? I relax and sit with this emotion for a while until the answer bubbles forth. I feel bored, another emotion, so I dig deeper. Why do I feel bored and what is under neath my boredom? Life is mundane and not exciting. I feel trapped by my conventional life. Does someone trap me or do I trap myself I trap myself, I answer. Why do I feel trapped? I don't take care of myself and I don't honor my soul passions. Why don't I take care of myself and honor my soul passions? I don't value myself enough to make myself a priority. Why don't I value myself enough to make myself a priority? I am a wife, a mother, a woman. I am supposed to take care of everyone else first. When I became a wife and a mother, I gave up my right to take care of myself. Ah, here we have it. A deep issue about my self-worth and unconscious societal programming that causes me to believe that I must take care of everyone else before myself. This issue of low self-worth and my deep frustration with its root cause created a stormy unrest of depression to get my attention. By exploring my emotions, I was able to understand the message from my inner wisdom that I need to look at my life and make choices to change. This is the power of the inner truth and inner wisdom that we all have when we choose to listen and explore. Now that I know the feeling and the deeper issue that is true and valid for me, I dig even further for resolution. Is this belief valid for me anymore? No, as a thinking, adult woman, I truly do not believe that I can be healthy and balanced if I give all of myself to others without taking care of myself, too. Do I choose to overcome this societal programming now that I am aware of it? Yes. How willl do this? I will make choices to honor myself. I will nurture myself. I will do things that I enjoy and that feed my soul. I will balance my responsibilities and family time with taking care of myself. For me, this means giving myself permission to take time to be in nature, to do yoga regularly, to meditate and journey daily, to read and to write. In this way, I can create harmony and balance in myself that ultimately everyone benefits from. My recapitulation and reclamation experience entailed going on a personal journey. A very brief summary of this experience follows. Immediately upon closing my eyes, I found myself in my departure point. My Spirit Teacher, the Guardian of the Land, came to sit across the campfire from me. Without saying anything we both stared into the flames until I became consumed by the hot blaze. The fire roared within me, burning away and transforming the energy of the deep issues, agreements, and beliefs that I had unconsciously taken on so long ago. From deep in the fire within me, a primal medicine woman appeared. Flames shot from her eyes, the palms of her hands, and from her long red hair. No words were spoken, but she told me that she is me, a part of my soul-self that had been lost through my misgivings about who I should be and how I should act. I was stunned and captivated. I knew she spoke the truth, but I didn't know what to do so I sat there and stared. Lovingly she reached out, grasped my hand, and then looking me directly in the eyes, melted into me. I could tangibly feel the hot energy of her deep within my very being. A moment later the change of the drumbeat called me back. The Guardian of the Land winked at me from across the fire, and I was back in my body in my healing room. After a few moments I journaled my experience and completed the reintegration

and observation processes of deep reflection.

HEALING INSIGHTS The following letter from a workshop student clearly illustrates the dynamic healing powers of the Psyche Inventory and journeying. Once this student recognized and changed her behavioral programs regarding her work and self-worth, she was able to move beyond them and free herself. The energy she liberated in the process, as well as the energy she was able to retain by not bleeding it out into her unfavorable circumstances, she was able to redirect toward her personal awareness and development. This is a common scenario among my students who are willing to apply these methods and honor the outcome. She writes: "In a society focused and inundated with `self-help' books, workshops, and seminars, it is really difficult for an individual to choose the right path. I was fortunate. I listened to my heart, and it has proven to be one of the most enriching experiences in my life. I felt trapped in a job I hated. It was my twelfth year and the inertia was tremendous. In many respects the process of transformation began last July and culminated in my actually being laid off from my job because of budget cuts. My healing began when I attended a Psyche Inventory workshop. I've learned to suspend disbelief-to examine my routine thoughts that cycle through my mind and try to understand the belief system that was resulting in the life I was currently living. I was shocked by the outcome of the process. The Psyche Inventory produced results that were the last thing I expected. The process of delving continually deeper into my feelings resulted in me acknowledging my tremendous fear of failure and self-hate. Why else would someone stay in a job that was sucking all life energy from them? I thought this was what I deserved. Yes, the routine was a known quantity, and the job did not demand my complete intellectual and creative energies, which I certainly focused on other parts of my life. In fact, most other aspects of my life were going well. But staying in the job was like putting half of my life on hold. The loss of my job has proven to be a blessing and I have not regretted walking out that door. I also realized that the worst thing that could happen to me concerning that job has happened, and I feel liberated. So, what do I do differently now? I take the time to quiet my mind and stop the thoughts from taking control. I know that the right direction is there inside me. The journeying helps to quiet my mind and to not try so hard to control. I've learned to allow the gift of journeying and `spirits' to guide me on my path. I look at situations with acceptance

and judge less harshly. I was motivated by self-growth, and realized that this is just the beginning of a lifetime of discovery." HEALING INSIGHTS Jake, a client and Reiki I and II student from several years back, called one day out of frustration that he had been unable to meditate for several months. Knowing Jake, I surmised that he had issues from his past cropping up again that he was unconsciously resisting. If he could keep his mind noisy enough, these unpleasant thoughts and feelings wouldn't have to be acknowledged, yet they were ready to surface and were preventing him from achieving all of the benefits he was used to receiving from meditation. So I briefly explained what I thought might be happening and informed him of the upcoming workshop. The first day of the workshop, as we learned the techniques of visualization, self-hypnosis, energy healing, meditation, and journeying, Jake was animated and readily engaged the process. During the second day, which featured the Psyche Inventory, Jake was unusually quiet, subdued, and cried often. Because this is a very personal and private process, many people choose not to share in the group, as was the case with Jake. However, several days later he called to share this feedback with me. As an overworked medical student in residency, Jake was experiencing a great deal of stress. His rotation required him to work thirty-six hours straight, and he would come home exhausted, but wired. He would then need to have several alcoholic drinks to unwind before retiring and would sleep for the next twelve to fifteen hours. Up until the past several months, Jake's periodic meditation breaks through his grueling two days and one all-night schedule kept him relaxed and energized so that he was able to handle his demanding pressures without much struggle. Now that he was unable to meditate, he felt he was reaching a crisis point. His inability to cope with stress was not only taking a huge toll on his mind, emotions, and body, it was causing relationship strife with his live-in girlfriend of four-years. Because Jake was focused on resolving his present challenges, he was surprised to find so much release in the Initial Psyche Inventory process. He chose an event that had snowballed into a series of events that had ultimately become a major situation in his life. As Jake moved through the questions, he began to feel pain in his heart, and he knew that he was on to something powerful. Within minutes, the fog lifted and he found himself looking squarely at the very thing that was the underlying cause of his current challenges. Jake told me that he could not hold back the painful, bitter tears of his hurt and frustration at recalling that as a child he was never good enough for his perfectionist father. Although he was an intelligent child with near perfect grades all through school and was a fairly decent lineman on a winning high school football team, it still was not good enough for his father who was always quick with sharp criticism. Jake had never before realized how painful this had been and the myriad of ways that this was still affecting him. Jake revealed to me that the recapitulation and reclamation

journey was the most powerful thing that he had ever experienced. An avid journeyer and meditator, Jake was no stranger to the powers of connecting with the Spirit world. What he hadn't expected was how powerful it would be to release his attachments to this situation and to reclaim the parts of himself that he had lost. Jake now uses the Psyche Inventory process on an ongoing basis to check in with his inner processes and to quiet his mind to discover deeper messages. And, yes, Jake is meditating routinely again with great results. HEALING INSIGHTS Julie, a dynamic thirty-eight-year-old businesswoman, attended counseling weekly for about five months seeking self-actualization and tools that she could use to help her release fears about committing to a loving relationship. As a part of therapy, Julie worked through the Initial Psyche Inventory process until each of the events on her time line had been explored. She also used the Ongoing Psyche Inventory to work through situations and recurring feelings that came up while at home. Julie brought her journal to therapy where we discussed the questionnaire process and results and carried out the reclamation and recapitulation journeys. The Initial Psyche Inventory process helped Julie begin to identify aspects of herself that were unconsciously formed during her childhood from the behaviors of adults. The Ongoing Psyche Inventory helped Julie to see how these were still affecting her today, and this helped her to let go of her past of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Julie no longer attends therapy but continues to work through this process on her own. The Psyche Inventory has become her therapist, asking just the right questions at the right time for insight, growth, and healing. She calls periodically to ask questions and lets me know how things are going. During our last phone call, she was excited to tell me that she had been living with her companion for several months, it was going great, and they were now considering themselves to be life partners. She confided that she will probably never be able to commit to marriage but, in spite of that, is very pleased with her growth and healing. Incidentally, her life partner had been using the Psyche Inventory process also with good results. Julie feels that the deep questioning and the reclaiming and releasing of energy are the keys that had been missing from her other attempts at therapy.

Life's issues are windows of opportunity to view our true self. Recognize, reveal, release, reclaim, resolve.

Now that you know how to use the Psyche Inventory, you can apply this same process to any exploration you choose, such as: What was it that drew this illness in? What was it that changed my

happy outlook on life into depression? Are any of the patterns that I have discerned in my behavior related to any other patterns I have seen in myself? What is the core issue behind my fatigue and energy loss? You can also apply this same process to help you integrate and understand any new lessons that you receive through life experiences, dreams, meditations, and personal journeys. When used in conjunction with the other self-healing techniques described in this book, you have an unbeatable combination of healing and selfactualizing techniques that will change your perceptions and your health forever.

Living in Harmony and Balance When our body, mind, emotions, and spirit are in harmony and balance, perfect health is the natural result.

Healing is a journey and a way of life that no single method or cure determines in one application. The techniques described in this book are powerful methods for energy renewal and self-healing. Applying these methods on a regular basis is incredibly healing, but that is only part of the equation. Living life with integrity is the other. Living with integrity means honoring yourself and taking care of your whole self. Like Mohandas Gandhi says, "We must be the change we want to see." Many great sages, including Carlos Castenada and Don Miguel Ruiz, teach the importance of impeccability. They aren't telling us that we have to be the model citizens of our communities. They are teaching us to be impeccable with ourselves. Impeccability reflects an ability for right thought, right action, and right speech. Impeccability is not perfection; it is consistently applied "rightness" that is born from a centered balance. To be integral is to be complete and whole. Therefore, in order to be impeccable and integral, you need to know and honor yourself. You need to be awake and aware, genuine and real with yourself and others. You do this by seeking to know your inner truth and nature, connect and stay connected with yourself, and follow your inner guidance and your life path. Maintain a constant quest to know the whole you and then honor your self by living in harmony and balance. Do and think what is true and natural for you. Act from your individual personal nature and your inner truth. Be your real self and do what you like, not something someone else thinks you should be or do. Be strong, be wise, be bright and shiny, if that is your nature. When we do something that is not true to our natural self, we lose energy, personal power, and vitality. This does not give you license to be derelict, it gives you license to take care of yourself. To honor yourself by paying attention to your emotions, your body sensations, your needs, your desires, your joys, and your pains. An example of this point is the story of my reconnection with my cousin Bryan. Due to my Grandfather's passing in the autumn, I had the opportunity to become reacquainted with family that I had not seen in a long time. We have not been estranged, we have just been too caught up in the daily grind to get together. During the viewing at the local funeral home, I spied my cousin Bryan across the room. He was sharply dressed in a sport jacket and dress pants, but what caught my eye was his long, wavy, blonde ponytail. When the opportunity arose, I approached him and, along with our hellos, I tugged his ponytail and told him I liked it. A beaming smile came across his face and it was clear he wa s pleased with my compliment. I imagine there are not many in our conservative family who appreciate his individualistic self-expression of long hair. The day after our Grandpa's funeral, Bryan shared with me the joy and freedom he finds in riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle, and he offered to take me for a ride on Thanksgiving. I accepted. Two days later, after our newly established annual family Thanksgiving meal, beaming with enthusiasm, Bryan handed me a pile of leather clothes and asked if I was ready to go. As I donned the warm leather jacket and gloves and headed toward the stairs, a chorus of cautions and judgments followed us. Once outside, I inspected the shining chrome and turquoise Harley that is Bryan's stress release from his work and parenting responsibilities. I remarked on the beauty of his mint condition

bike and strapped on the helmet he brought for me to wear. Settling onto the soft leather seat and wrapping my arms around Bryan's waist, I made a comment about the judgmental warnings of others. Bryan said people often ask him if he is afraid of dying or getting hurt on his big bike. He turned around, looked me in the eyes with heartfelt sincerity and said, "You know, it's not dying I'm afraid of, it's not fully living that scares me." Knowing I concurred, he turned back around, revved the engine, and the bike pulled away from the curb. With the cool wind whistling in my ears, I snuggled in behind Bryan and let his message sink into my soul. You know, it's not dying that we should be afraid of; it's not fully living. Bryan fully lives, and he lives from his nature and his inner truth. This experience remains an inspiration to get me back on track when I forget to live with integrity and impeccability. We have the choice to live fully or not. For most people, this choice is made unconsciously every day. We either do things that help us be healthy, harmonious and balanced or we do things that disturb or block our energy, harmony, and balance. To live with integrity, we must employ conscious choice. We must understand that healing doesn't just happen on its own simply because we desire to get better. We have to make it happen. It is the ongoing, consistent application of connection, awareness, and wisdom that creates a state of harmony and balance in which healing can then be actualized. We have to make the conscious choice to intentionally utilize the techniques that work for us in order to make this happen. Choosing to pursue and achieve harmony and balance is the first step. We do this by making the conscious choice to make ourselves and our personal health a high priority. We can choose to take care of ourselves, to connect with our soul-self and apply energizing techniques, or we can choose to remain ill through inaction. The decision is ultimately up to each individual on their journey to wholeness. In previous chapters I have shared the techniques that facilitated my recovery and ensure my continued health and increased awareness. Every day I have to make the conscious choice to apply these techniques or be slothful and perhaps pay the consequences. Likewise, it is your choice whether you want to employ healing techniques or not. Only you can make your healing happen. These words may sound strong, or perhaps trite, but I have met many people who learn multitudes of different, effective healing modalities and experience only limited success because they don't employ them in their daily lives and they don't make their healing a priority. In fact, I did the same thing in the beginning of my journey. Early on I had learned the effective healing techniques of visualization and selfhypnosis, but because I used them only as a last resort, I did not actualize full healing. My recovery greatly accelerated when I began a disciplined daily healing regimen. Our excuses are many, and perhaps all valid. We don't have enough time, or maybe we don't think we feel all that bad today, or we are too tired to even try today. Whatever the excuse, you need to push through it and make your healing a priority. Ultimately, the responsibility for your healing rests on your shoulders and yours alone. Only you can choose to connect yourself to the energizing powers of your soul-self and the web of life. Only you can choose to persevere through the sometimes arduous process of the Psyche Inventory. Only you can choose to maintain faith and keep fighting through the times when you may

feel frightened or ineffective. You know from reading the introduction that my road to recovery has not been easy. Health and recovery were not handed to me on a silver platter just because I started meditating or journeying. I have struggled, fought, and worked hard to connect, to become awake and aware, and to change my old dysfunctional beliefs, behaviors, and patterns. I have had to look at many difficult aspects of myself, my fears and old programs, and strive to work through them. I have needed to become disciplined about my daily healing practices and allow myself to make my healing an important priority in my life. I have had to endeavor to take care of myself no matter what the external pressures or internal excuses. These are the same choices you will need to make about your healing process. The greater your commitment to healing and the more you are able to give to and nurture yourself, the faster and more complete your recovery will be. What you set as your priorities and what your intentions are will make an important difference in the depth and quality of healing you can actualize. Once you have made the decision to make your healing and personal growth a high priority, commit to that path of healing. Become aware of your intention, what you want to make happen, and how you will make that happen. State your intention to yourself and to others. Often. Write down your commitment to yourself in your journal. Place little notes to yourself in various places, like the refrigerator door, bathroom mirror, or computer screen to remind yourself to work on your healing all day. Then when you see these signs, think of healing, and when you do your intentioned daily practice, place all of your attention on being aware of yourself and connecting with your soul-self and Spirit. Use whatever method you choose to connect and move energy through your body. Let go of your thoughts and your daily stresses and focus your attention on healing yourself. Don't get hung up on what technique is best. Any method, or combination of methods, that works for you at any given time is the method of choice. The methods that worked best for me are the ones I have described in this book, particularly shamanic journeying. It may be that way for you, or it may not. The importance is not the method, but the effects. When you are lost in the darkness of illness, it is easy to get trapped in following someone else's path. You are willing to desperately search and grab onto anything that brings you relief. This is good because it is the first step to progress, but as you change and grow, try to experiment and become aware of what works best for you. Explore and honor yourself with connection, awareness, and wisdom from whatever path or methods that resonate with you. Living in harmony and balance involves honoring, embracing, and nurturing the whole you, your mind, emotions, body, and Spirit. The first step in letting you be one of your priorities is to give yourself permission to nourish your whole self. If you are not getting what you need, give yourself permission to seek it out. Nurture Yourself Lilze You Would Your Best Friend

When you take the time to take care of yourself, you let yourself know that you love you. Self-love, honor, and nurturance are key components to living with integrity. Our inner wisdom tells us that we need to love and honor ourselves, but our external programming has often taught us differently. In our world of doing, producing, and taking care of others, we have not learned the therapeutic importance of taking care of ourselves. In order to accomplish this, we must reprogram ourselves through our personal choices. We must choose a path of self-nurturance and give to ourselves, even if it feels uncomfortable. By practicing ongoing self-care for our soul, body, emotions, and mind, we deepen the healing we experience through connection and awareness. Harmony and balance will then become our normal state of being. Show yourself love and nurturance wherever, whenever, and however you can. Pamper yourself often and thoroughly. Nourish yourself with your own attention. It can be as simple as taking a hot bath, wrapping up in a fluffy comforter, or savoring a delicious cup of soothing tea. It could be saying nice things to yourself as you drive to work or to pick up the kids. Or maybe it's giving yourself permission to receive a massage or energy work, or perhaps resting when you need to. It might be as simple as giving yourself the gift of time to just be, a few moments of not doing anything. It's amazing how therapeutic a couple of minutes of watching the clouds roll by or the birds playing in the birdbath can be. Be good to yourself and allow yourself to play. Do something that brings you pleasure. All work and no play is unbalanced and harmful. Allow the child inside of you to be free. Unleash your true self. Break the shackles that bind you to martyrdom. Enjoy! Life is not a competitive sporting event. Even so, when you are approaching this concept, be aware of the pitfalls that may arise. It is so very easy to rationalize that certain self-destructive behaviors make you feel good. The fact is, what often makes us feel good is merely an escape trigger that we have employed for years to get around dealing with our personal issues. When you consider options for self-nurturance, consider choices that bring you closer to health. For instance, if you are a person who is twenty or more pounds overweight, then eating that pan of brownies is probably not the type of self-nurturance that you need. Go inside at this point and address, via the Psyche Inventory, what it is that the pan of brownies represents. Need attention? Why not try a massage instead. Want to feel happy? A walk in the woods, a trip to the zoo, or maybe taking the time to listen to beautiful music is really what you need. What about a new hairdo? How about reveling in the simple joy of watching children on a playground? The point is that you need to make positive, self-nurturing choices that you have evaluated responsibly, rather than just falling back onto an old, self-defeating program. Perfection is a myth, and self-denial in the pursuit of such a myth is folly. The responsible practice of self-nurturance finally helped me to realize this. It felt so good to finally love and take care of myself after all those years of neglect, martyrdom, and denial. As I became healthier, I realized that

there is no state of achievement, completion, or accomplishment that could warrant trading away or terminating this simple practice. It is always therapeutic to take good care of yourself, to be aware, to connect, to grow, and to dynamically change for the better through positive, self-nurturing choices. Nurture Your Soul Your soul is hungry. Feed it soul food every day with daily spiritual practice. As I travel through my journey of healing, I continue to hear and read of new theories and discoveries regarding the etiology of the illness I had. I have to shake my head in wonder at these claims that used to be such a source of frustration for me. Each new theory, each new nutritional supplement based on some theorized deficiency once gave me false hope for an external cure. I would become so excited at the prospect of healing that I would pay almost anything or do almost anything, just to get better. Finally tiring of this circus, I came to know that true healing comes from within. The key to ultimate healing is to create an environment where the immune system can become strong through connecting with energy flow and loving care. It no longer matters to me if doctors and researchers think this illness is caused by childhood vaccinations, my body's inability to metabolize phosphates, some incurable virus, or for any other reason. Theories will continue to abound as they have for years, but they still do not address curative treatment or effective healing. While they search for an external cause that may or may not lead to a treatment someday, the healing that happens every day in my body by connecting with Spirit and energy continues to beat the odds. The explanation of why this path works is really quite simple. We are energy. Everything around us is energy. When we unblock and connect with our life-force energy and our energy is flowing in unison with the universal life-force energy, healing happens. It is really that simple. This is the simple, awesome, philosophy behind this entire book. In my experience both personal and professional, the greatest healing comes from connecting with our soul-self and Spirit on a daily basis, making it an integral part of our everyday life. It is imperative to bring Spirit and energy connection into everyday mundane living. It is a simple spiritual commitment you can make to yourself that can be as extensive as you need it to be. It can take no extra time, just awareness and dedication to bring connection into your mundane tasks of living, such as visualizing one of the energy movement exercises while driving to work. Or you can set aside blocks of time to utilize more extensive healing methods, like journeying or meditating. In the beginning, you may find that this helps to immerse you in the connection. The deeper and more often you connect, the greater your opportunity for healing and enlightenment. Or you can use a combination of both as I do. In chapter 12 I describe a day in my life now. You will see that I constantly connect throughout the day using whatever technique fits the time available. I have found that it is this dedication and consistency that has led to my recovery. Every day, every day, every day,

I connect to my soul-self and the web of life through daily spiritual practice and daily power building. I make this a commitment, a discipline, and a priority every single, wonderful, healthy day. I am dedicated to connecting daily because I discovered by accident that the key to recovery and maintenance is continuous connection to energy. Years ago, over the Christmas holidays, my life had become so busy that I did not take the time to journey personally or professionally for about two weeks. The week leading up to the holidays involved a harried schedule of numerous counseling appointments in order to fit in all of my clients during the shortened week. In addition, I had to do the holiday shopping and preparations on top of packing, my usual chores, exercise, and holiday family gatherings. The family reunion trip to North Carolina involving a three-night stay in a hotel was the final overwhelming act. My husband's family gathering involved people from all over the country convening for four days to reunite and celebrate. We all stayed on the same floor of the hotel, and, because several of them smoke, it was on a smoking floor. For all of them, this meant big fun. For me, it turned out to be big trouble. The smoke that filtered in, combined with the cleaning chemicals the hotel used to attempt to cover the stale smoke smell, was stifling. Even with the sliding glass door open all nights and the ozone machine running, I awoke each morning with swollen eyes, upper respiratory congestion, fatigue, and a disconnected head feeling. Upon returning home, I came down with a bad cold and decided to journey for healing. My Spirit Teachers told me that my cold symptoms were a cleansing on the physical and energetic levels, and they moved energy through my body to help facilitate the detoxification process. They told me the real mistake was not that I went on this trip and subjected myself to this health assault, but that I did not connect with energy before or during the trip. I had not filled with the power that boosts my immune system, and therefore I was not able to energetically protect myself. My Teachers suggested that, in the future, I needed to remember to journey everyday no matter where I am or how busy I might think I am. They showed me that I had gotten lost in the health that I had been experiencing over the past year and had forgotten why that health was happening. This experience was a cosmic experiment that provided confirmation of my theory that constant power connection is an important facet of the healing process. I now believe that staying in daily contact with spiritual energy is the most important component of the healing lifestyle. When I first began to practice shamanism professionally, I did a small scientific study with around twenty participants to measure the effects of treatment. I provided a free soul retrieval session, and each participant completed an intake form, a two-week follow-up questionnaire, and a six-month follow-up questionnaire. During this same period of time, I began teaching shamanic journeying classes and about half of the study subjects participated. Not surprisingly, the study results showed that the individuals who enjoyed the most healing were those who had taken the shamanic journeying classes and who continued to journey for themselves on a frequent basis. By receiving treatment and

connecting with their Spirit Teachers and soul-self, they were able to actualize deep, long lasting healing. It is important that you create a daily spiritual practice that works for you. You need to make it personal to you and valuable for you. It should be pleasurable and something that you enjoy. If you look forward to your daily ritual, you are more likely to follow through with your commitment to participate each day. Your spiritual practice, no matter which method you utilize, is a quiet contemplative time that needs to be focused and disciplined. You may choose to vary your methods from day to day depending on how you feel and what appeals to you that day or you may benefit from a routine that is the same each day. Whichever you choose, keep your practice sharp and dynamic. Be creative and honor your feelings and desires. Your special healing time needs to be nurturing, fun, exciting, explorative, and healing. As you create peace and calm in your body and your life through your daily practice, you will begin to notice that the outside chaos of stress will have less of an effect on you. It becomes easier to stay centered, strong, and healthy. When you connect each day in your practice, you are filling yourself with Spirit energy that combines with your life-force energy, adding volume and strength to your personal power. In this way, daily power-filling provides protection from energy vampires and psychic attack. Your personal power and physical energy is most accessible to the drain of energy vampires and the negative energy intrusions of attack when you are in a weakened condition. When you become taxed from stress or other life occurrences, your personal energy lowers and your defenses are down. You may have noticed that when you are tired or stressed, things bother you that normally wouldn't. The biting comment that your coworker or family member made that you normally are able to ignore sticks with you and bothers you. It festers in your thoughts, causing an emotional response that drains even more of your energy. By maintaining a high level of personal power, you are able to prevent these intrusions from affecting your energy field and prevent your energy from leaking away. A strong radiating energy field protects you like the natural skin oil on the feathers of a duck prevents water from soaking in. Just like the water rolling off the duck's back, nasty comments, psychic attacks, and attempts to acquire your personal energy roll off your energy field. Your best line of defense is power-filling every day of your daily practice. By boosting your energy every day, you build an impenetrable wall of personal power over time. However, if you feel that your energy is being drained or attacked, take the time to fill with power as soon as possible. If you have the time, I recommend taking ten to twenty minutes to sit down, quiet yourself, and journey or meditate, asking the power of the universal energy source to come into you and fill you. If you are not able to do this right away, I recommend using the protection shield visualizations in addition to the quick energy filling exercises of the Grounding Tree and the Rainbow Fountain described in chapter 4. Both of these exercises are effective methods for boosting your personal power that sets up a natural internal shield of strong energy. If you feel dirtied or congested by an attack, the Rainbow Waterfall

exercise is an excellent cleansing visualization to remove the intrusions from your body and energy field right away. I recommend doing this exercise at the beginning of your power-filling session or before using a protection shield if you feel you have been affected by an attack. When using these exercises, it is critically important to do more than just visualize. You need to actually feel the energy to put it in place effectively. As you visualize whatever shield you are putting up, sit quietly with the visualization and use all of your senses to manifest the energy. Feel the energy run through you and around you, hear it, taste it, and smell it, as well as see it. Call in your Spirit Teachers and the powers of the universal energy source to fortify your shield and your personal energy field. Remember that your personal energy field runs through you as well as surrounding you. The more you practice this technique, the more effective you will become, and soon it will be easy for you to set up a glowing, vibrating shield that protects and fortifies your energy field. Equally, the more you embrace and experience your power, the more you can count on your strength to be there in difficult times. Power-filling prevents energy leakage. The following quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission" can help remind us that we are in charge of our energy, thoughts, and emotions. By filling with power and shielding ourselves with our intensified personal energy, we send the energetic message that we do not give our permission for others to steal from us or attack us. Nurturing and taking care of your soul involves feeding your soul with Spirit connection. The more you can make that happen, the happier and healthier your soul will be. By practicing the self-healing techniques that work best for you in your daily set aside time, and by incorporating these into your everyday life, you can nurture your soul constantly. With a daily practice of connecting and powerfilling using the techniques you have just learned, you nurture your soul with soul food. You can also connect and nurture your soulself all throughout the day by connecting with the Great Web of Life. I believe in the concept of animism, that is, that all things are alive and there is a life-force Spirit energy that lives in all things. In connecting with the life-force energy of these beings throughout the day, you align with the Great Web of Life, which in turn nurtures your soul with universal life-force energy. You can connect with this Spirit that moves in all things by maintaining awareness in all that you do and all that happens around you. When you are quiet within yourself and observant, you can feel the presence of this force. Open yourself and send your awareness out to that presence. Feel the exchange of energy, breathe in the power, and listen for messages of wisdom. Bring this power into your physical body with the breath or with exercise when you can. Internalize it, feel it, and express it through yoga, dance, running, walking, or whatever feels good to you. By moving this force through your body, you are not just bathing your body in energy; you are boosting your energy field and nourishing your soul. Utilize this connection, awareness, and wisdom to guide you and invigorate your soul. In this way, you can create positive healthy change every day. You can connect with the web of life by spending time with nature. The energies of Mother Earth,

the plants, birds, insects, and animals are directly linked to the universal lifeforce energy of the web of life. By connecting in the same way I described above, you can feed your soul with this power. It doesn't matter what you are doing, just be sure that your activities outdoors include awareness, mindfulness, and being. For example, I may be hiking, but I am fully present in my body and aware of my energy connecting with the energy of nature. I bring this energy into my body by breathing deeply of the fresh air. You may "do" whatever, but be conscious of everything going on around you, inside of you, and allow yourself to feel the presence of energy. As you spend time in nature, you begin to notice special places that you are drawn to. In shamanism, these places are called "power places." Your power places vibrate with an energy that resonates with you and fills you with its power. My Celtic Shamanism teacher, Tom Cowan, teaches that your soul has a song that resonates with the soul song of the earth. In your power places your soul song sings in unison with the soul song of the earth, thus connecting you with the Great Web of Life and nurturing your soul. Another method for nurturing your soul is through ceremonial ritual and celebration. In ritual and celebration, we connect with and honor the power and energy of the spirits and the universal life force. An example in shamanism is the Power Animal dance. During this dance, the Power Animal Spirits of the participants are invoked into our ordinary world through drumming, rattling, and willful intention. Participants invite the spirits to come into the room and to merge with them. As the Spirit of the Power Animal blends with the energy of the participant they dance and move about the room with the physical characteristics of the Power Animal Spirit being expressed in the movement of the dance. For example, if a participant has merged with a hawk, they may shuffle-step around the room while flapping their wings in flight. This gives physical form to the Spirit of the animal and honors that Spirit. This ritual celebration also connects the participant to the energy of the Spirit, which nurtures their soul. This is but one of millions of possible demonstrations where we, as humans, reach out to connect with Spirit. Ritual and celebration have been important in all cultures, all religions, and all spiritual paths throughout the history of humankind, because of its ability to connect us with energy that nurtures our soul. Many holiday gatherings, religious customs, family traditions, and festivals are ritual celebrations based on this need to connect. However, many people today in Western societies are reluctant to practice rituals or celebrations because they don't belong to a group. We are no longer living in tribal societies where ritual and celebration are common occurrences and participation is expected behavior. We tend to live isolated, separate lives, and even if we have connections with likeminded people, it is often difficult to get together because of our busy lives. I invite you to experiment with your own solitary, family, or small group rituals and celebrations. There are many good books that address this idea. A ritual or celebration performed solo with pure intent to honor and connect can be far more powerful than a large group gathering where the intent to connect with Spirit might get lost in the details or in the show. I have had many soulnurturing experiences connecting with Spirit through simple backyard rituals, so don't be afraid to try.

Another way to connect with Spirit and to nurture your soul is by creating an altar. An altar establishes a sacred space that is directly linked to your Spirit Teachers and the universal life force. "Hearth is the place where the universe comes together," teaches Tom Cowan. An altar consists of physical representations and symbols of Spirit and power (energy) that resonate and nurture your soul, therefore, whatever you put on your altar and however you set up your altar is correct for you. Ideas of things to place on your altar are pictures, statues, ornaments, necklaces, stones, crystals, candles, plants, seeds, flowers, incense, and water, anything that connects you with Spirit. Pictures and statues on altars often represent deities, Power Animals, and Spirit Guides that work with you. Candles, water, incense, and stones can represent the elements of fire, water, air, and earth, respectively, but may also be objects of special power given to you by your Power Place or used in ritual or celebration. Crystals, plants, seeds, and flowers bring in the spirits of nature to your sacred space and these too, can come from special places or events to hold that power in a place that is accessible to you. An altar can be set up anywhere, inside or out, but if you can, try to find an out-ofthe-way space to set up your objects of power so that others won't disturb them. Use any design that suits you, and be creative and dynamic. Bring in new energies and objects as you see fit to keep the energy flowing. Spend time with your altar daily if you can, even if only to quickly acknowledge each Spirit represented there. In this way, you nurture your soul by connecting to your spirits, the spirits of nature, and the universal life-force energy that runs through the Great Web of Life. Many of the methods that you use to connect with Spirit in order to nurture your soul create phenomena I call "power experiences." These power experiences are ecstatic experiences where energy moves through you, building your personal power and releasing blockages. Every time you connect with Spirit, you allow these experiences to occur because you set up the right circumstances for energy to flow into you. Some of these experiences can be quite profound, while others, although healing, are less pronounced. Even when you don't have time to create a power experience, you can connect with Spirit and open yourself to the flow of energy simply by remembering those experiences that you have had. There is incredible power in using mindful intention to link you with the places, events, Spirit connections, and feelings that nurtured your soul. Focus your thoughts and wrap your mind around the memories of your power experiences. This is easy to do while performing mundane tasks and is particularly useful anytime you need a power boost. Reading your jour nal, where you documented these experiences, is also a helpful way to reconnect and remember the wisdom the Spirits have shared with you to nurture your soul. Nurture Your Body Giving your body love and nurturance creates harmony and balance. In turn, your body will give you health and well-being. Nurturing your body is as important to your health as nurturing your soul. Giving yourself the love

and attention that you want and need is critically important for striking harmony and balance within you. If you aren't getting what you need, take the time to responsibly evaluate what positive, healthful things your body needs, seek them out, and give them to yourself. Right here, right now, I give you permission to make yourself a priority. You must do the same. Right now, say to yourself, "I make myself a priority by taking care of my body." Now go and do everything that you can do to follow through with your commitment. When your body hurts, nurture it with yoga, a warm herbal bath, aromatherapy, a nap, or a quiet walk through the woods. Whatever sounds good at the moment is what your body needs. Relax and listen, perhaps go into alpha state, and check to see what would feel good to your body right then. If you don't know where to begin, journey or meditate on what your body wants, and it will tell you. If you are still not sure, check it out using the Truth Spot Exercise. Anything that you do for your body that feels good and resonates in your truth spot relays the message that you love and honor yourself. Sometimes it is our lack of self-love and nurturance that is the reason our illness manifested in the first place. It could also be that, in the past, we misread the signals that our body was sending to us, interpreted these signals in light of bad programming, and fed our bodies exactly the wrong thing, hastening illness and disease. Perhaps we got too busy with life and simply forgot to love and take care of ourselves. Now is the time to give that back to yourself. Spoil yourself, make taking care of your body a priority and don't allow yourself to feel guilty about it. More than that, take the time to disassemble the old programs that you have in place that are keeping you from taking care of yourself. Use the Psyche Inventory, journeying, and meditation, and get to the bottom of the problem. Once you have done that, taking care of yourself will come naturally and joyfully. You deserve it, you need it, and it's crucial for you to take care of you. One of the most effective ways to take care of your body is to practice "de-tensifying." Detensifying is the conscious act of letting go of tension. Our bodies are riddled with the devastating effects of near-constant or accumulated stress. All of the healing techniques described in this book help us de-tensify, but there is more that we can do with simple awareness. By focusing your mind on your body periodically throughout the day and directing yourself to relax and let go with your intention, tension releases. Take a deep breath and think or say the word "relax." You may feel your mind quiet, your shoulders loosen, and your breathing becoming deeper. Allow yourself to melt into your relaxation and become free from muscle tightness and pain. The more you can do this throughout the day, the less effect stress will have on you. Experiment and see how this affects your body and mood. I also recommend that you use your meditation and journeying skills from chapters 6 and 7 to learn about stress and disconnection in your life and what de-tensifying and reconnecting techniques will benefit you most. Another way to nurture your body is through movement. You have heard it a million times, move and exercise your body. But this time, don't do it because everyone tells you that you should, do it because it feels good to you. There is a difference between exercise and body movement, and it is simply perception. Body movement is energy movement. Therefore, when you move your body, you

move your energy field. This physical and energetic movement causes stagnant energy and blockages that may have accumulated throughout the day to release. We have been taught in our driven, Western world that exercise is bump and grind and should hurt. I wholeheartedly disagree. In fact, it was this attitude and overzealous practice that created the energy loss that allowed illness into my body. I firmly believe that exercise and body movement are essential for health. You need not become a marathon runner in order to accomplish this. In fact, I would advise against it for most people. Flowing, rhythmic, low impact movement is what appeals to most bodies, especially tired, pained bodies. Gentle dance, yoga, bicycling, and walking are very effective means of moving energy and body fluids, as well as releasing stress. But these are only suggestions. Any way that feels good to you is what you should do. Follow the wisdom of your body. Many people find that combining energy-moving visualizations with gentle rhythmic exercise is particularly healthful. For example, as you go for a walk, imagine that you are breathing in clean, fresh, healing energy with every inhalation. Fill your lungs fully with this healthy energy and spread it mindfully throughout your entire body, feeling its cleansing and refreshing action. When you exhale, release any tension with the breath. Another healthful energy-moving visualization that blends well with exercise is to visualize a golden cord of energy running through your center that extends up into the universe and down into the earth. This energy keeps you strong, centered, and connected. Energy-moving visualizations work particularly well with the physical practice of yoga since the object of yoga is to connect the mind and the body in a comfortable zone of peaceful movement. In fact, the word yoga comes from the Sanskrit word "yug" which means to join together. It can be a means to dissolve the separateness of internal and external, and the techniques offer a discipline that seeks to bring balance to the mind, body, emotions, and Spirit. Yoga facilitates the release of energy blockages while adding body strength and flexibility through the holding of poses that also lead to self-discovery and awareness. The stretching and holding of positions creates a catharsis of moving energy, a liberation of held cell trauma memory, and a mindful calm. I highly recommend you allow yourself the gifts of freedom found through this practice. Another important way to nurture yourself is to allow others to lighten your load. If production, fulfilling your responsibilities, and completing obligatory tasks are your only modus operandi, then you are depleting your energy and not replenishing yourself. You stress yourself out with compulsive "doing" that leaves little or no time left to give yourself the nurturing and pleasure that you need. Your life becomes nothing more than a series of jobs to be performed that suck the life force out of you. Sometimes this comes from family expectation, but often the heart of this behavior is a self-imposed belief that you have to do it all. Therefore, you can change this pattern by allowing others to help you. This is difficult for many of us overachieving "superwoman" types, but I assure you it is a critical step in healing. Certainly, things need to get done, but those things don't care who does them or how often. It is we

who have attached our self-worth to how much we can produce in a given day. It is we who burden and constrict our energy flow with impossible demands. Therefore, it is we who can decide to change this pattern simply by releasing our need to do it all. Many of you have family members and friends who would be willing to help but don't because they do not want to get in your way, or they don't realize that their help would benefit your health. Begin by making the decision to help yourself. Use the Psyche Inventory, meditation, and journey to explore and release your attachment to the belief that your selfworth is measured by your production. Ask for help, communicate your needs, and don't be afraid to let others ease your burden. Life is too short and precious to be all work. Please understand I am not recommending that you relinquish all of your responsibilities because you are "sick." It is highly important that you remain fully engaged in life, and this means work as well. What I am suggesting is that you ask for help with those tasks that overburden you or are harmful to your health, such as the fifth trip to the school to taxi the children or cleaning with chemicals that cause adverse physical reactions. Martyring yourself with overdoing perpetuates the imbalance that creates illness. At the other end of the spectrum, I would caution you not to become too complacent. Shutting down and not doing anything is also unhealthy and closes you off to the natural flow of universal energy that occurs through living life. It is important to strike and maintain balance. A commonly overlooked way to nurture your body is to invite others to help you take care of you. Make your family members partners in your health care. Ask them to touch you and love you when you want and need it. Ask for hugs and shoulder and foot massages. We often don't want to bother others so we don't ask for what we need. This is an unhealthy pattern of martyrdom and self-neglect. We require nurturance and touch in the same way our spouses and babies do. It is your job to recognize that and ask for it. When you allow yourself to receive from others, you are giving to yourself. It is another way that you can show yourself that you love and honor you. Allow others to give to you, and when they do, totally open to that gift. In order to nurture your body, sometimes you need someone else to help you regain your balance. A human link can help you reconnect to your soul-self and the universal life force and can accelerate and put you in touch with your ability to heal yourself. Good healers, who are interested in your health, can help you find balance and harmony in the stillness and life force within you. The intimacy of human touch and the compassion that you can find with reputable, professional healers is so very healing. It communicates a message of love to your body that you chose to honor it with the gift of nurturing. There are multitudes of methods of complimentary healing available now, and these are expanding rapidly. The efficacy of each method is often based on the unique needs of each individual client, the strengths of each individual healer, and their relationship. In nurturing yourself through connection with a healer or another person, I would like to interject a word of caution. We are a pill-taking, easy-fix society, looking for others to heal us. We look to doctors, therapists, or alternative healers to fix us when we are ill. In doing so, we have inadvertently

learned to give away our power and our ability to heal ourselves, even in our valid attempts at healing. All healing is self-healing that comes from the body's innate ability to heal itself when the right circumstances for achieving harmony and balance exist. Receiving healing from another may help to set up this harmonious circumstance, but it is we who heal ourselves. I am not recommending that you don't go to the doctor, the therapist, the healer, the counselor, or the shaman. By all means, get every bit of help you can. I certainly did and found it incredibly valuable and illuminating. My caution to you is that, under no circumstances, should you surrender your own personal power of choice and discernment when you seek treatment. You are your own best authority. When it comes right down to it, only you are responsible for your own healing. In my experience, you will do the best job for yourself through connection, awareness, and internal exploration. Don't expect doctors, therapists, or healers to heal you. They are guides, teaching and facilitating that which you may not be able to discover on your own. Any given therapy may be your cure, but it is you and your body that will do the healing. True healing comes from within, and no one else can do that for you. If you choose to nurture yourself through healing professionals, know that their function is to be facilitators, guides, and cheerleaders who empower you to heal yourself Most doctors, therapists, and healers are wonderful caring people who are knowledgeable in the workings and dysfunctions of the human body. However, all bodies are not the same, and you are the undeniable expert on your individual body. Therefore, health care needs to be a partnership. Remember that you always have choice and that you are ultimately in control of your own health care. I recommend that any decision you make about therapies or practitioners needs to be made by first checking in with your inner self. A simple exercise, if you are considering treatment, is to sit quietly, go into alpha state, and feel if this therapy resonates with you in a positive way. If it does, choose the right practitioner for you by also following your inner wisdom. I encourage you to shop around. Talk with prospective practitioners about their beliefs and their views on the therapist/ client relationship. Find practitioners who allow you to follow your instincts and who believe in your ability to heal yourself from within. It is important to your healing that you feel you are being listened to and that your truth is being honored. It is not nurturing to your body if you feel someone is forcing their will upon you with treatments that do not resonate with your body. Open communication is the key to developing a healing partnership; I have found this to be absolutely necessary. Because of my positive experiences and trusting partnerships with impeccable practitioners, I felt safe enough to explore some of the more esoteric aspects of my life that were important to my healing. I might not have been able to do that with a practitioner who didn't listen to my inner wisdom or who would not honor my body knowledge. I have found that when you feel you can be real, and brutally honest, with your healing practitioner, you are more likely to be real, and brutally honest, with yourself. If you do not feel honored by them, are you really nurturing your body? If not, this is not setting up circumstances for harmony and balance. Nurturing your body means not only giving love and sustenance to your body, it means listening to your body's inner wisdom.

Nurture and Release Your Emotions and Feelings Our emotions and feelings are the barometers that let us know we are dynamically alive, and, therefore, they gauge the direction we are moving. Nurturing your emotions and feelings is equally as important to your health as nurturing your body and soul. Emotions and feelings are precious gifts that many of us neglect and avoid. Because we are not taught how to effectively understand and honor our emotions and feelings, they can become explosive or overwhelming. What we have failed to learn is that having emotions and feelings is what being human is all about. Emotions and feelings connect us to ourselves and to each other, and, without these, we could not experience love and compassion. The very word emotion correctly implies that these are the forces that get us moving. Emotions crystallize our resolve and move us to action and are therefore the essence of all dynamism in our lives. Without them, we would be hollow and stagnant, and we wouldn't care what happens to ourselves or to others. Emotions and feelings keep us engaged with life and help us experience humanity. Many Buddhists believe that it is only when we fully experience being human that we can begin the path to enlightenment. It is by honoring the presence, messages, origins, and direction of our emotions and feelings that we begin to fully experience life. In illness, pain, anger, and depression, emotions and feelings are assets that signal distress to our minds. By becoming quiet and experiencing emotions and feelings, we can discern internal messages that can guide us toward harmony and balance. When we successfully and regularly honor our emotions and feelings, they act as a catalyst for a psychological revolution that frees us from past programming and allows us to live more presently in the moment. By using techniques of discovery, such as the Psyche Inventory, meditation, or journeying, we stimulate our minds and spirits to investigate the true meanings of our emotions and feelings. This practice opens our awareness, and, instead of avoiding emotions and feelings or being ruled by them, we can harness their messages for personal growth and healing. This allows us to function in new and different ways that free us from our old illusionary programs, ways of thinking, and reactions to emotions and feelings. It is important that as you honor and nurture your emotions and feelings that you avoid the trap of unhealthy excess. Dwelling too long on your emotions, or getting sucked into the adrenaline rush of powerful emotions, can turn into a huge energy drain. Holding feelings and emotions for too long can also cause you to inadvertently hold on to drama and trauma, causing destructive stress. Honor and acknowledge whatever you are feeling and then employ your skills of awareness and the Psyche Inventory process to discern the message. Dip in for short periods of time and then stand back, letting the process cook in the back of your mind. Check in with yourself often to be sure that your process is not consuming you. If you find that you are feeling preoccupied and unavailable to participate in your daily life, back off, do something else, and resume the process later. This coolingoff period provides needed rest, and, when you resume, you will have more energy and clarity.

Nurturing your emotions and feelings ultimately leads to discerning your truth. By discerning your truth, you can take care of the emotions and feelings that are valid truths for you and not simply reactions to stressors in your world or triggers from your past. When we first notice that we are feeling something, this is usually an emotion. Emotions are often stormy and evocative and that is how they get our attention. Underlying the storm are the actual feelings that we are experiencing. Oftentimes we don't understand what we are really feeling because the storm consumes us. It is our job as truth seekers and self-healers to acknowledge the emotion and then dig deeper to reveal the feeling that contains the message of our inner wisdom. Employ the Psyche Inventory process, play the devil's advocate, and ask yourself challenging questions to discover your inner truth. For example, I notice that I am feeling depressed. I recognize that depression is an emotion, a storm, so I dig deeper. What is deeper than the depression? I feel sad, another emotion. Why do I feel sad and depressed? I feel bored, another emotion. Why do I feel bored and what is underneath my boredom? I feel trapped by my conventional life. Why do I feel trapped? I don't take care of myself, and I don't honor my soul passions. Why don't I take care of myself and honor my soul passions? I don't value myself enough to make myself a priority. Ah, here we have it. My feeling of low selfworth created a storm of depression to get my attention to send me the message that I need to look at my life and make choices to change. Inner truth, inner wisdom. Now I have identified the feeling that is true and valid for me. I can use this information to make the necessary changes in my life to restore my harmony and balance. When you begin this process, if you have trouble digging beneath the storm, meditation and journeying are effective methods to augment this Psyche Inventory questioning process. Often your connection with your soul-self and Spirit will make you aware of your inner truths and the healing ways you can nurture your feelings and emotions. By allowing your inner awareness to break down your illusions and defenses, you can begin to see into yourself and your life with clarity. This is not an easy task, but a critically important one. The magic bullets are commitment, determination, connection, awareness, and the wisdom to apply all of these things to keep at it. No matter what, using whatever works for you, keep looking in until you find the complete answer. As you work to identify the inner emotions and feelings that are true for you and that you want to address, use this optimum time to release those that are no longer useful for you. The practice of letting go of unproductive emotions is an important aspect of your growth and healing process. When you release heavy emotional weight from your past, you create room for new things to happen and free up huge amounts of personal energy. However, you may be unclear or unaware of what you are holding on to and what you need to let go. Taking journeys to the lower and upper worlds with the intention of exploring your psyche is a great place to begin. Journey with the intention of identifying old baggage that you are ready to release and to find out what you need to do to let go of these. After mak ing your journeys, take time to use the power of your mind to really see

the illusions and the new possibilities. Apply the messages of your journeys to the Psyche Inventory process to delve deeply into the discovery of what things would be beneficial at this time for you to let go and the ways that would be effective for you to do so. Journal and make a list of the messages, events, emotions, and feelings that you experienced in the journeys. Take time to consider where these came from. Sort out what beliefs, emotions, memories, and behaviors you want to keep, what isn't yours, what isn't healthy, and what doesn't work for you anymore. And then go deeper into the underlying motivations, feelings, and inner truths with more journeying and Psyche Inventory exploration. I recommend continued periodic work to peel away the layers of the past in order to facilitate a deeper release and deeper healing. It is typical human nature to cling to our old programs to maintain a feeling of security. Even if they are destructive or no longer useful, they are familiar, and letting them go may cause you to feel uncomfortable. If you choose to let this temporary feeling of discomfort stop you from releasing your emotional dead weight, you block yourself from valuable growth. Use the power of your mind to release the traps of how you did things in the past. It does not always have to be the way it was. Statements like, "I've always been that way" or "I've always done it that way" are phrases that signal stagnation and blockage. Take a long, hard look at why you do what you do. Many of your ideas are deeply ingrained and might be difficult to see and release. In this case, journeying or meditating can be helpful in breaking through your own illusions. My good friend Jason's e-mail trailer reads "It is no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society" and yet that is what many of us do. We have unconsciously created illusions about who we think we are, what we think we should be, and how we think we should act in order to fit into our world. We live like the people in the movie The Matrix, in boxed, programmed, artificial existences. We believe the only things that are important are our jobs, our incomes, our investments, our clothes, our hair, our families, our expectations, our behaviors, our time commitments, our egos, our production, and we wonder why we are sick! Yes, these things can be important, but there is more. If we take the time to look deeply enough into ourselves, we will find a passionate soul that has a different identity and has different priorities than those of our material world. When we live our lives totally in the material world without connection with our soul passions, we are living an illusion. I can be sure of this because I see it everyday in many of my clients and I recognize that I lived that way before becoming connected and aware. An important step to nurturing your emotions and feelings is to set yourself free from any societal prisons you have locked yourself up in. You do this by journeying to know yourself, the real you. Then honor yourself by living life the way that feels right to this real you. I call this the "getting to the core" journey. This is a journey connecting you with your soul-self, but it also entails employing the Psyche Inventory process to evaluate what this means to you and to determine what you will do with the wisdom you gain.

Once you have connected with your soul-self and gotten a feel for who you are in your core essence, do a journey to explore the identities or roles that you play in your everyday life. In addition, explore how you present yourself to others based on these roles. Explore how much you have attached to these and how they shape your emotions and your behaviors. As we grow and become more aware, we learn that what we choose to do may shape us, but it is not us. For example, I do a lot of bicycling, therefore I am a cyclist. I am also a counselor, psychotherapist, shamanic practitioner, Reiki Master, and spiritual seeker. I do all of these things, and yet they alone do not make me who I am. I am more than a cyclist, more than a psychotherapist, and more than a shamanic practitioner. I am more than my work, my play, and my searchings. The real me transcends all of my roles and jobs. The same is true for you. You are more than your work, your roles, and your hobbies. You are more than your illness and more than all your perceived identities. Who are you really? Explore this with the skills of journey, meditation, and the Psyche Inventory, and rediscover your transcendent self. When learning how to nurture your emotions and feelings, the idea of exploring rules and authority issues becomes important. It seems we all have emotional issues surrounding parenting, school authorities, or societal rules. Society has many written and unwritten rules about what is acceptable and what is not, about how to act and how not to act. We begin to learn these at a very early age and often unconsciously agree to these rules of conduct. The expectations of others, along with our social and cultural mores, cause us to behave in certain ways that we might not choose if we were being true to ourselves. These regulating rules bind us to act in a particular way that is judged appropriate and acceptable. "Good girls don't dress like that," "Don't rock the boat," "What will the neighbor's think?" and "Because I said so" are things so many of us have heard, or even said, in the course of addressing what is acceptable and unacceptable. Even if we don't agree with these ideas, they can act as controls that keep us from expressing our true self. Often they are programs that have always been in place just because no one really thinks about them. Other times they are a specific set of rules intended to control the masses, keep everything the same, and keep most everyone feeling comfortable. This can't help but become stagnant and oppressive, since this mentality opposes change and difference by encouraging homogeneity and mediocrity. Artists and musicians stretch this mold, often breaking into uncharted territory where they face both opposition and admiration for their "dare to be different" style. I love the statement by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich that "well-behaved women rarely make history." History, and particularly progress, is made by rebels who dare to think and act differently. Not surprisingly, many of us have strong emotional issues with authority, freedom of choice, and reclaiming of power due to this societal posturing. Are you aware of how the rules of life affect you and what can you learn from this? Journey with the intention of exploring your emotional responses to rules and societal expectations, and ask how these affect your expression of self in the world. Journal freely about your thoughts and feelings and then explore further by applying the questioning process of the Psyche Inventory to these insights. Another major emotional issue and deterrent to health is self-destructive behavior. These include

those degrading things we do to ourselves like standing in front of the mirror and saying, "Wow, are you fat" or "ugly" or "stupid." We've all done it; you fill in the descriptor. Unproductive self-criticism, the greatest harm of all, comes from right inside our very own minds, but we don't stop there. In attempting to fill our empty inner void, we drink too much, eat too much, watch too much television, do too many things to excess. Our addictions become destructive behaviors that prevent us from reaching our full potential and adversely affect our health. If you are struggling with self-destructive behaviors, meditating and journeying can help you to identify and heal the core causes. What is the feeling, the deep inner truth that causes you to be self-destructive? Apply these insights to the Psyche Inventory process by journaling, questioning, and interpreting the deep meaning within. Write freely about your thoughts and feelings, and keep going deeper until you feel you have reached completion. Fear is a powerful emotion that can be an impediment to health if we don't continually work on it. When we live in fear, we live in chains. Fear elicits feelings of insecurity, the need to be in control, and the need to hang on tightly to people and objects in our life. These feelings create deadly tension and anxiety in the body. In order to be able to "de-tensify," relax, flow, and trust in the course of life, we need to be able to identify and release our fears. Journey or meditate to uncover the hidden fears that bind your life and your enlightenment. Apply these insights to the Psyche Inventory process by journaling, questioning, and interpreting the deep meaning within. Releasing physical and emotional pain can be a powerful way to nurture your emotions and feelings. Sometimes just acknowledging pain can be therapeutic, especially if you have been ignoring it for a long time. When you hang on to powerful emotions, especially in the muscles and cells of your body, life-force energy is not able to flow. This creates energy blockages that cause pain in your body. It is important to release these emotions and these painful blockages. During shamanic training in death and rebirth, I took part in a grief ritual where we released and regurgitated all the grief we could feel for everything that is, was, and will be. Our losses, our feelings, our societal oppression, the hurt of the earth and her people, the plants, the animals, the trees, our ignorance, our traumas, our victimizations, and our afflictions toward others. This ritual was a powerful purging of emotions that I unknowingly carried around day to day, creating pain in my body. The release of these was incredibly healing, and I began to recognize the value in allowing myself this kind of powerful release every so often. Since many of us, myself included, don't have ready access to an intimate shamanic community that we can do purging rituals with on a regular basis, I improvised a personal purging ceremony that you can do alone. Set up special alone time specifically for this purpose. Begin by honoring your feelings. Sit in silence and allow yourself to really feel the pain in your life. If your body hurts, feel it. If you feel angry or depressed, feel it. Let yourself feel it all, fully and deeply. You may even notice that you feel a deep, excruciating sadness about everything and nothing in particular or feel so worldweary that you don't want to struggle with your illness or your healing anymore. Allow yourself to fill

with emotion and vulnerability, and then let yourself scream and cry, releasing it all, letting it all go. This release is the intention of the ritual. You may find that it helps to put on your favorite sad philosophical music or movie that is sure to evoke your deepest emotions. Swell up inside with anger, frustration, fear, depression, sadness, confinement, and whatever else flows in, and then let the emotions pour out of you, again and again. Scream, yell, and cry with all of your heart and soul. If you get angry, punch the pillow, or if you feel sad, cry until your guts hurt. Whatever the feelings and reactions, let it flow without judgment. Release, release, release, and then release even more with wild abandon. After practicing this ritual several times, you will find it to be an incredibly effective way to uncover your hidden emotions, nurture yourself, and get yourself motivated to get on with your selfhealing program. Don't be surprised if releasing in this way is difficult for you at first. It is for many, even in the group shamanic ritual. We often judge this type of behavior as a breakdown, not a healing tool. We think it shows weakness, and weak is something we would never let ourselves be, but as you purge, you will feel the therapeutic benefits and realize that the pressure of holding in the pain and the stress and keeping such a tight grip on life is strangling. It is important to recognize that the denial, repression, and "holding in" of emotions can create physical pain when they manifest in your body. By releasing the pain and the insanity of your emotions and your illness, you make room for health and clarity. Throughout this process of nurturing our emotions and feelings, we have focused on uncovering, recognizing, honoring, and releasing emotions and feelings that we might consider to be negative or a deterrent to harmony and balance. Of course, that's only part of the process. You can learn a lot about yourself by observing and exploring all of your emotional states. Journey, meditate, and become aware of what is going on when you feel good, happy, and positive. What makes you feel good, and what does feeling good feel like to you? Is it elated and ecstatic or calm and mellow? Do your good feelings come from inside yourself or from an external source, such as a person or an event? Also, pay attention to when you feel just okay, neutral, not happy or sad. What does this feel like to you and what causes this emotional state? When you journey or meditate and feel connected with your soulself and the universal life force, what does that feel like to you? Allow yourself to feel what it is like when you tap into the power of your emotions and feelings when connected. Many people experiencing energy loss or illness unconsciously shut down most of their emotions to protect what little energy they have left. The more we shut down, the more we close ourselves off from the life force, our soul-self, and our passion for living. Just as we can cultivate health by acknowledging and releasing emotions, we can also cultivate health by bringing positive emotions back into our realm of feeling and awareness. Explore what this means for you. When you quiet yourself and go within using your skills of awareness, can you feel all of your emotions and your deep-seated feelings? Do you ever feel good and happy? When joy comes into your life, do you allow

yourself to feel it fully? Do you feel passion for life, for a person, or for anything that you do? Do you find that you have shut down and have difficulty feeling anything, even when it's good? Journey, meditate, and become aware of all of your emotions and feelings. You'll be surprised that they aren't as scary as you thought they might be. Nurture Your Mind The mind is our most powerful tool for change. Equally as important to health as nurturing your soul, your body, and your emotions, is nurturing your mind. By stimulating your mind, you keep your thoughts open and dynamic so that energy can freely flow through you. There are infinite ways to stimulate your mind, and only you will know what works best for you. Anything that engages your mental process nurtures your mind. Perhaps igniting your mind in the study of something that fascinates you or learning a new skill, such as a hobby or a second language, will interest you. Reading poetry or a good book is stimulating for many, as is pondering spiritual or philosophical writings. Many people find that expressing themselves by creating something stimulates their mind and energy flow. Perhaps crafting, writing, journaling, or cooking may be avenues that appeal to you. Try being creative in different ways to find what excites you. It doesn't matter if you don't know how to create or express yourself or haven't had any training in the avenue you choose. What matters is that creating and expressing stimulates your mind, and this establishes an energy flow that connects and heals you. My wonderful friend, Lori, who I am blessed to have met in the course of our mutual shamanic training, is a good example. She is creating clay statues of angels whose Spirits are being born into this world. She has had no training in this medium and is creating her angels purely from inner guidance and self-expression. She has found this to be therapeutic in her healing process. Many of my clients find journaling and writing poetry or short stories to be stimulating. You may not want to create angels or write stories, but you can facilitate similar stimulation in whatever avenue you choose. Allow yourself to learn, think, ponder, create, express, and have fun! The mind is your most powerful tool for change. Using the focus of your mind, you can use your thoughts and perceptions as positive healing tools. By using mental exercises, such as positive affirmations, you can reprogram yourself to perceive and believe positive thoughts. Positive affirmations are healthy statements that you write, say quietly to yourself, and speak out loud. Things like, "I am healthy, I am strong, I am happy." These statements can help reprogram negative thoughts and can affirm the healthy positive thoughts and things you want in your life. Thoughts are energy. When you think negative harmful thoughts, you are placing that destructive energy into your energy field and ultimately into your body. When you stand in front of the mirror and say, "I hate myself," you are sending negative energy to yourself. Likewise, you can train yourself to think healthy, positive thoughts and bring the healing energy of those into your energy field. Standing in front of the mirror

saying, "I love me!" affirms your self-value and internalizes that healing energy of your love. Even if you don't believe it at first, say things that make you feel good about yourself, and soon you will feel good the majority of the time. It is the power of the mind that you must harness to move through the Psyche Inventory process. Every time you engage in this process, you are stimulating and nurturing your mind. Likewise, the power of mental focus is utilized in meditation, visualization, journeying, and in mindful, daily awareness. Therefore, every time you participate in these activities, you are stimulating and nurturing your mind. The power of your mind to think, explore, and understand is invaluable in your journey to wholeness. Without the power of your mind, you can't understand yourself, keep yourself stimulated and satisfied, or change yourself. It is by harnessing the power of your mind that you can know your true self, motivations, and intentions. Explore this idea with journeys, meditations, and the Psyche Inventory questioning process. Explore what is really going on inside your powerful mind. The mind has the ability to focus and concentrate. By using focus and concentration, you can let go of all of your thoughts and reach a state of quiet awareness where you can be fully present in the current moment. You can use this state of awareness to achieve many things. One is rest and inner calm. When you are quiet in the present moment, you are free from your consuming thoughts and emotions that cause stress and tension. When those thoughts run away with you, you are not paying attention to the present moment because you have thought yourself somewhere else. This can create a paradox in your mind that brings discomfort. My friend and fellow Spirit seeker Paul Bowersox says it best: "Misery is created when we digress from the present moment and long for a different one." By sending your energy elsewhere via thought, you have lost the precious present, possibly creating disharmony and imbalance. Another benefit of this state of awareness is stimulation of the mind with only the occurrences of the present moment. This is mind-feeding information that often goes unnoticed, like the breeze-kissed chimes singing on the porch, the chickadee bouncing from branch to branch in the holly tree, and the first dandelion of the year opening its little yellow face to the sun. These small pieces of seemingly unimportant information feed your mind, heart, and soul with invaluable nurturance.

As you nurture your body, mind, emotions, and soul, energy shifts begin to take place in your body creating health and free energy flow. Your personal power builds, and you have the strength to make choices about how you will live your life. It may mean making major life changes, but not necessarily. You will know what is right for you by listening to your inner messages. For most, the changes are subtle and woven through every decision and action that we make. Things like choosing not to react to criticism, choosing to create the kind of work space that is healthy for you, choosing to view the world as a place where health and happiness can be actualized and making these things happen. Instead of the old insanity of using the same behaviors and hoping for different results, you must begin to change

your behaviors in any way that you can. Little steps are all you need to take to eventually make big differences in your life. Often you find that nothing changes, but everything changes. Externally, life will look similar to what it has always been, yet it is profoundly different, because inside, you are different. This change is self-actualization and enlightenment, and these changes occur when you bring harmony and balance back into your life. The following account from Judy demonstrates how this changed her life. HEALING INSIGHTS Judy suffers with CFIDS. She is a loving person always willing to help others to the extreme of ignoring her own needs. She is a nurse, massage therapist, dedicated parent, spouse, daughter, and volunteer. When the first symptoms began to appear, Judy "sucked it up," ignored the pain, and kept on giving. She recently attended the Inner Power workshop intending to learn how to better help others heal. She also learned how to use the same tools for herself. She told me what she loved most about the program was that I gave her permission to love and take care of herself. She has needed this for a long time and has now been able to give herself the time and nurturance she needs. She looks in the mirror and adores the person she sees there instead of criticizing her. She takes warm baths often and enjoys leisurely walks in the woods. Instead of her family complaining about where she is, like she thought they would, they tell her she is so much nicer now. She thanked me for teaching her that it is not only okay, but necessary for her to give to herself, and she is feeling much better physically too!

Little steps make big changes!

As you have witnessed throughout this book, life perspectives can change drastically when you embark on a restorative journey. Subtle, and yet profound, transformations occur through growthenhancing reading, exploration, and practice. You may have begun to experience some of these changes already. One of the powerful changes that may be occurring is an awakening of yourself that creates an opening of your mind to things that you might have considered "crazy" in the past. This opening and awakening is the beginning of embarking on a path of enlightenment that we will explore in the next chapter.

"The whole point of spiritual work is to begin to understand that we are not what we appear to be. As we understand this more and more, we begin to find within ourselves a real and deep connection to the source of all Life. " -Swami Chetanananda from Dynamic Stillness Enlightenment Enlightenment is the effect of the journey, not the destination. Life perspective can change drastically when you are on a journey of healing and personal growth. Subtle and profound transformations have probably occurred while you have been reading this book and practicing these self-healing techniques. These will continue to occur as your practice continues. In some ways, you are the same as you have always been, but in many ways you are totally different. You may have begun to think differently. Behave differently. See things differently. Feel differently and live more mindfully in the present moment. You may have found an equilibrium in your life as you look for deeper meanings. Perhaps you have begun to feel better as you nurture and pay attention to your body. You employ Spirit guidance in everyday life situations. You feel more connected to the Great Web of Life in deeply spiritual and energetic ways. You are more aware and able to notice the gifts that nature gives you in special moments, like the sparkles of prisms in the snow and the reflection of the moon on the water, and be able to sit and appreciate these things. You may find that you are able to deeply feel these treasures and be with them. These occurrences and feelings that you are experiencing are the gifts of self-actualization and enlightenment. These become a natural part of living and are the reward given to you by yourself and the Spirits when you choose to de-tensify and reconnect with the divine healing powers of your soul-self and the universe. The suffering that you are endeavoring to eliminate will most likely turn out to be the catalyst that points you toward a path of enlightenment, reawakening your soul and your passion for life. In your desperate attempts to heal, you have been practicing techniques that have also reconnected you to your soul-self and to the divine. This reconnecting facilitates both an internal and external awareness that you may not have expected or ever experienced before. Through these energy-connecting experiences, many of the fortifications of your defenses and illusions were broken down, and you have begun to experience change on a quantum level. The experiences, techniques, and learnings that are facilitating t hi s new awareness will continually grow throughout your practice, building upon one another. Already you may have felt yourself become more open and receptive, and, by connecting with energy on a daily basis, you gradually have become even more awake and aware. As you have allowed yourself to become more aware, deep inner personal and universal truths, knowledge, and wisdom

have bubbled forth into your consciousness from your practices. Unknowingly you began to pursue a path of personal growth and awakening, a path toward enlightenment and wholeness. Now that you are becoming more consciously aware of this path, by intentionally applying the techniques of connecting and awareness and utilizing the truths and knowledge you have gained from these experiences, you can gain deeper understanding of your total self, thus activating healing on all levels. As this develops, I am sure that you are realizing that there is far more to health and wellness than physical healing and that the cure or the recovery is simply a positive byproduct of the journey. The conscious application of your illumination is the fruit that brings your life into balance. One of my teachers, Sandra Ingerman, once said it best: "It's not what you do, but who you become." So, what is enlightenment? Webster's says enlightenment is the act or means of enlightening and is a philosophic movement with a tendency toward individualism with an emphasis on human progress. Webster's says enlightenment in Buddhism is the final blessed state marked by the absence of desire or suffering. Enlighten is to illuminate, to furnish knowledge to, instruct, to give spiritual insight to. Enlightened is free from ignorance and misinformation, based on full comprehension of the problems involved. The enlightenment that myself, clients, students, and you are experiencing is not the final blessed state of enlightenment that is described in Buddhism and many spiritual traditions nor is it the state of being removed from desire and suffering. The enlightenment that I am referring to is that of being on a path of spiritual insight, illumination, and knowledge by working hard to be free from ignorance and illusions. Enlightenment is not achieving or obtaining certain levels or status. It is constant awareness and understanding, growing and learning. It is not a "do-ing," it is a "be-ing." It is becoming quiet enough inside to notice the inner workings of the self and the world. It is becoming insightful and developing a reverence for all life. It is becoming less consumed with the trauma and drama of one's personal struggles and trusting the natural flow of life. Enlightenment is not durable. It is not a state of consciousness that, once achieved, remains with us forever. Life is an ever-changing, winding path of struggles, searchings, and challenges interspersed with findings, learnings, knowings, clarity, and growth, that gives way to more struggles, searchings, and challenges. At certain times while traversing this path, there are moments of complete insight, joy, and brilliance. Moments during which all of the veils of illusion are stripped away, and you can glimpse behind the shadows of the physical world. Enlightenment is at its fullest flower in these brief, perfect moments. The nuts and bolts of enlightenment are found in the process of continually connecting with your soul-self and the divine, cultivating a deep understanding of yourself and the world through awareness, and the conscious application of these for personal growth, just as you have done for healing. Enlightenment is an ongoing process of living in balance and harmony with yourself and your world. During a journey on this topic, I was taught that the domain of enlightenment continues through infinity. As long as we are willing to be open and work and learn, we will grow. It is

because of this that there is no final destination. Enlightenment is not something to be achieved; it is the effect of the journey. It is not the destination in itself. Enlightened people have a peace and calm about them that others find serene and attractive. This quiet tranquility magnetizes us to that person. If you have had the opportunity to be around a spiritually enlightened being, such as a holy person, yoga master, monk, or a righteous teacher of any spiritual path, you know what I mean. His Holiness the Dalai Lama is an example of this gracious connected harmony and balance. Beings who radiate this enlightened energy do so through their connectedness and awareness of the universe, their environment, and their soul-self. We are drawn to them because they radiate what we are all looking to achieve for ourselves-and we can. The magical place where this quality comes from is within our soul-self. If you were to ask yourself, "What does a holy person have that I don't have?," what would be your answer? And then, how would you answer these questions? What does a holy person have not, that I do have? What's the difference? What is of most value? What do I want in my life? How does this relate to health? The first thing that often comes to mind when we consider these questions is that a holy person is not bound by the box of material living, wealth, power, greed, and the trappings of personal attachment, or has at least extracted most of herself or himself from it. The holy person lives in the world, but is not of it, even those who have families and ca reers. They are different because they no longer bind themselves to this box of conventional living and therefore free themselves from traps, such as judgment, fear, societal programming, and pressure to conform. We too can gradually extract ourselves from these imprisonments by dismantling the box a piece at a time using the same techniques described in this book for self-healing. Because these techniques allow us to re-create harmony and balance in all the levels of our being-physical, emotional, mental and spiritual-they are also tools for personal growth, empowerment, freedom, and enlightenment. Another aspect that comes to mind when we consider these questions is that a holy person is awake, aware and living fully in the present. A holy person has conscious presence of mind. She is not tied to the past and does not worry about the future. Again, we can consciously choose to wake up from our sleepwalking lives, to live fully present, awake, aware, alive, and in the now. I once read that most people live 35 percent in the past and 35 percent in the future. That means we are only putting 30 percent of our energy into the part of our life that really matters, the present. We can't change the past, only learn from it and release it. The future is out of reach no matter how much we worry, save, plot, and plan. So 70 percent of our energy is wasted everyday, gone, of no value. Valuable, precious, life-giving energy that we could be using to live, grow and heal.

A holy person has balance and harmony in her life and she works to create and maintain this every day. Because of this, a holy person may be your teacher. She may be an amazing guru and be worldrenowned. She may also be an amazing guru who teaches you secretly in the quiet corners of your bustling city or conservative little town. But, more likely, a holy person is often a simple person who does not blow her own horn or even claim to be a holy person. It may be that holy person is a name given by others who have experienced her healing presence. But often, she goes unrecognized as a holy person throughout her whole life. It is your Grandma, or your wise and strange uncle, or the teacher you once had, or the constant loving friend with the right words at just the right time, or the stranger who seemed to sweep in from nowhere at just the right time to save your day and then disappeared as quickly. A holy person has freed herself from the box of judgments, agendas, and behaviors that unconsciously drive others to live a conventional life. A holy person lives in conscious present awareness, harmony, and balance. How does a holy person make this happen in their life? What is it that makes a holy person enlightened? A holy person is enlightened because she operates from truth, knowledge, and wisdom. Truth, Knowledge, and Wisdom Wisdom is the ability to discern truth and employ knowledge to intentionally actualize positive personal change. The building blocks of enlightenment are truth, knowledge, and wisdom. In order to heal and grow you must bring light to your darkness. When you access truth and knowledge through awareness, you learn about yourself and illuminate your agreements, behaviors, and illusions. When you employ this knowledge to create positive change, you are manifesting wisdom. Sooner or later in your self-healing practice, you have or will notice that the combination of awareness and connection to your soul-self and Spirit brings you nonlinear, extraordinary, or nonordinary information about your world and yourself. For most, connecting with truth and knowledge come in this accidental way. We begin to receive enlightening information while practicing the techniques described throughout this book for self-healing. We gradually become aware that much of this information is our personal inner truth, universal knowledge of the way things are, how the universe works, and the great mysteries of life. When you allow yourself to sit with this information deep within your truth spot and soul-self, you feel it resonate. This resonating feeling is the personal affirmation that what you are contemplating is true, makes sense, and gels for you. Knowledge grows out of the truths that you unveil when you use your mind to integrate the messages discerned through awareness. Once you can recognize the feeling of truth in your body, it is important to connect it to the understanding of the conscious, critical mind. Feel the truth or non-truth

in your body as you learned in the truth spot exercise in chapter two, and then think about how the truth or non-truth affects your thoughts and actions. Connecting these feelings from a physical body awareness to a conscious mental awareness synthesizes this experience into knowing and understanding. This is knowledge. This psychological process is of primary importance for any real growth, change, or healing to occur. If you jump from one truth-seeking experience to another without integrating the learnings on a deep level, you lose the ability to use these truths. They become fluffy snippets of semi-useless information as opposed to the deep knowings that facilitate your enlightenment. By blending your intellect with your intuitive discernment, you can understand the truths that you uncover and use this knowledge to consciously bring about positive change. Using truth and knowledge in an intentioned manner to manifest positive personal change is wisdom. By feeling and intuiting through awareness, cognitively understanding the messages obtained, and then putting these into action, you can bring about harmony and balance and thus set up the correct circumstances for health. The information, truths and knowledge that you receive are incredibly important, but useless if you don't choose to manifest them in concrete ways in your life. By teaming a deeper soul-self/divine connection with your tools for discerning and integrating knowledge and wisdom, you can masterfully manifest positive, ongoing personal change and growth. When you do this, you begin to experience shifts taking place in your inner being that may be difficult to conceptualize at first. You feel unexplainable changes in the way you perceive others, your world, and yourself. You become willing to make subtle changes in your life that honor yourself, resulting in more healthy energy flow. The light grows in you as you gradually let go of old ineffective beliefs and patterns and actualize your truths and knowledge into new behaviors and beliefs. To use wisdom, begin by sitting with the truths you have unveiled. Allow yourself to move deeply into the myriad meanings and applications that these truths represent. As the integration process deepens, bring the light of understanding to the darkness of your unknowing. Think and ponder using the power of your intellectual mind. Feel and think deep into your psyche, emotions, body, and soul and let the thoughts and ideas move around and settle in. Once settled and integrated, they become new knowings that you can put into action by changing the way you do things. You can now use awareness, personal freedom and choice to affect a world that you create based on your new perceptions. You choose to no longer be a slave to habit or to operate on the pattern that "I have always done it this way." You openly assess situations with your clear powerful mind and intuitive feelings and choose to act in healthier, more aware ways. You make choices about what is best for you, like taking care of your body, filling your mind with healthy information and feeding your Spirit with energy. Whether by journeying, meditation, visualization, self-hypnosis, yoga, ritual, mindfulness, or whatever other method works for you, you choose to feed yourself daily by continually connecting with the powerful universal life force. Following the Path

It may be that real healing isn't the physical recovery of your body, but the growth that occurs at every level ofyour being from following the path toward enlightenment. The path toward enlightenment is not straight and narrow, nor is it wide and easily traversed. It is a winding, forested path that sometimes crosses back over itself. Just when we feel we have made great progress, the path takes a bend back to the direction from whence we came, causing us to feel as if we have been totally turned around. Accessing faith at these times, we continue to journey down the path and find that again it takes a bend, opening into a clearing where we have a period of time of peace and great clarity. Eventually, an inner push urges us on and we again find that the path is winding and curving, obscuring our view of where we are going. We feel lost, but not as lost as we once were. An inner knowing curbs the fear, and we cautiously move forward. With each step we take of healing, training, daily spiritual reconnecting, and awareness, we round another bend and enter into another clearing. As we progress down the path, the clearings become wider and longer, stretching further into the distance, allowing us longer periods of peace and clarity. As we stroll through the clearings, we integrate our learnings and knowings. Again, the inner push urges us on into the dark forest, but now we have more light and wisdom from deep within our soul that we can access. This winding, healing, growing path toward enlightenment never ends. It is an ongoing walk filled with trials and triumphs that shed light on our darkness and stretch every aspect of our beings. The path toward enlightenment is not an easy path to follow, and one does not get "cured" simply by embarking upon it. My struggles, pains, and heartaches have not magically disappeared because of it. However, the lessons and the healing techniques that I and multitudes of others have learned from this path enable us to perceive and address them without fear. When we live our lives from a place of inner strength instead of fear, we honor our challenges as gifts of learning and use the combined tools of de-tensification, connection, awareness, and application of wisdom to manifest the conditions of harmony and balance as much as possible. Despite my continued struggles, by following the path of self-healing I have found a calm peaceful happiness inside of myself where pain, agony, frustration, fear, and depression once ruled. Unlike the flimsy external sources of happiness I sought in my past, this happiness is not based on another person, occurrence, or object. It is a deep inner happiness and strength that comes from my ability to feel and use a deep awareness and connectedness to my soulself, the world, and the Great Web of Life. I am honored to be walking this path, and I am actually thankful to the illness for waking me up. Even though living with the illness was pure hell and torture, I wouldn't change what happened to me. It may have been incredibly painful, but I have learned through this process that pain always heralds growth. I can't promise you full recovery from whatever you are suffering from, but I can promise if you too follow this path, many or all of the benefits just described will be yours also or, perhaps, something even better. Enlightenment, just like self-healing, is a gradual process involving continual connecting, learning, growing, and releasing in which we may or may not be able to perceive the growth or the healing as it

is happening. If you choose to embark upon this path for healing, don't give up if you don't get it right away. Keep connecting and stay the course. It may be that the real healing isn't the physical recovery of your body, but the immeasurable growth that occurs on all the levels of your being by following this path.

Enlightenment is personal and unique to each individual and thus expresses itself independently of expectation. It can appear as a moment or moments of great awareness or awakening or as an overall life change. The following personal stories demonstrate a few of the many ways that self-healing techniques can open us to the path of enlightenment. HEALING INSIGHTS Claudia came to the Inner Power workshop to learn how to heal from a spinal injury she had sustained in a car accident six months prior. About a year afterward, she called to share her overall life change of increased awareness and enlightenment. Most of the self-healing techniques, particularly the energy movement exercises, were a new concept to her. She had never heard or thought about energy before and so was a bit skeptical. However, she wanted to heal and get her life back, so she began using the energy movement techniques periodically throughout the day, plus visualization, self-hypnosis, meditation, or journeying at least once per day, every day, sometimes twice a day. What most surprised Claudia was that by using the Inner Power techniques she became so much more alive and aware. She began to notice the world around her and live fully in the moment with an open mind and heart. She became able to see a light inside the heart and solar plexus in each person and stopped judging their dysfunctions. She thought this rather odd, but liked the person she was becoming. She began to understand the interconnectedness of the web of life and to relish the precious moments of beauty in nature. What a change for Claudia! She didn't connect with the discussion about openness, awareness, and enlightenment in the training because she couldn't comprehend it nor did she think it could happen to her. She now understands. Enlightenment seeps in when she opens herself to the healing techniques and to the world around her. Harmony and balance facilitated healing as she opened herself even more. Physically, she has achieved almost full recovery while mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, she is more awake and alive than ever. HEALING INSIGHTS The following stories are my personal observations of two women who, with great bravery and dedication, work their healing program each and every day without fail, and in so doing have also embarked upon the path of enlightenment. Both of these women I am blessed to have as advanced

shamanic training students, and I am honored that our relationship has also grown into soul-connected friendship. Brenda was a massage therapist and Reiki practitioner suffering from fibromyalgia and dealing with sexual abuse memories when I met her. I don't recall if she first came for a healing session or a shamanic journeying class. Whatever the reason, our paths were destined to cross. Over the past several years that I have known Brenda, she has grown into one of the most powerful healers that I know, using many tools to help others and herself heal. Professional training accounts for many of these tools that Brenda uses, such as shamanism, Orion, myofascial release therapy, and Reiki Master training among others. Many more of Brenda's healing tools have been taught to her by her Spirit Teachers through her daily shamanic practice, meditation, energy movement, prayer, and ritual practices. Brenda's dedicated practices have gifted her with the ability to heal herself on all levels of her being, and have created pronounced changes in her awareness and perceptions. Brenda's openness and willingness to keep delving deeper and deeper within to emotionally and energetically process and release her illness, traumas, and abuses parallel that of a great warrior who continually stands strong in the face of adversity. Her reward physically is near-complete recovery from an illness that modern medicine can not effectively treat. Her reward emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is freedom from victimization, and so much more. Enlightenment! Brenda fully embodies forgiveness, release, unconditional love, compassion, openness, and understanding of the web and connectedness of all. As she continues to heal herself through her personal spiritual and self-healing practices, shifts continue to take place in how she lives her everyday life and does her professional practice. All who know her, her clients, and most importantly Brenda herself, are the benefactors of her enlightened healing path. HEALING INSIGHTS We met Jan in chapter 7 when she shared two healing journeys with us. She chose these out of the hundreds of healing journeys, meditations, rituals, and experiences that she has had over the past eleven plus years of her healing journey to demonstrate the miracle powers of personal journeying. Jan is a woman who walks truth, knowledge, and wisdom. You see it in her eyes, feel it in her presence, and hear it in her voice. Jan has bravely gone where few dare to tread by putting healing tools to use in her everyday practical life. This has not only led to physical healing, it has led Jan on a journey of enlightenment. You may recall that Jan experienced a journey where she was healed on the energetic and spiritual levels from multiple sclerosis, but this was a surprise to Jan. She didn't expect this to happen. She just knew that she needed to keep learning, growing, and practicing to help reduce her symptoms, and to

change and heal the world and Mother Earth. Jan is a spiritual warrior who follows a Wiccan path. It has been a difficult life for her, hiding in the shadows of spiritual beliefs foreign to most in our society, especially many years ago when Jan received her calling to follow this path. She was a "weirdo" and the "black sheep" of the family. Because of Jan's dedicated practice, she has come to accept and finally embrace herself as being special, not just different. She now laughs with inner strength at being able to "come out of the broom closet." In doing so, Jan can be real with herself, her family, and the world. Walking in truth, knowledge, and wisdom is a powerful healer. A powerful healer is exactly what Jan has evolved into. By courageously facing each excruciating day and every hurdle in her personal journey with MS, and the inevitable days of self-healing practice without noticeable results, Jan has embodied a path of enlightenment. As a self-healer, she is now ready to help others with their healing journeys. Jan had never failed or faltered on her self-healing path, always following the path come hell or high water, staying the course, and working her plan. Full physical healing may be a reward that Jan will actualize in the future. Certainly, nearly seven months of MS symptom remission and immeasurable emotional, mental, and spiritual healing, growth, and enlightenment are her rewards each day as she heroically walks her healing path. Kudos, ladies, and all who walk this path!

As the tool evolves the toolmaker, Inner Power tools evolve the consciousness!

Take a few moments right now to thank yourself for having the courage and inner strength to practice the Inner Power Personal Growth and Self-Healing program. The only thing left to do is to change this truth and knowledge into wisdom and enlightenment by bringing the powerful healing techniques of this program into practice in your everyday life. This next chapter describes how this can be efficiently accomplished.

-Mary Oliver Any successful gardener will tell you that the most important plant in the garden is the attention planted by the gardener. One can plant the seeds and sprouts of beautiful flowers, but the key factor that determines the growth of the plant and the size and the vibrancy of the bloom is the faithful tender loving care bestowed by the gardener. The success that you will experience with this book similarly depends on the faithful attention that you give to the inner healing garden in you. If you plant the seeds and sprouts of healing into your body, mind, emotions, and soul with these powerful techniques and then diligently water and fertilize them on a regular basis, you will discover new growth and find yourself blooming beyond your wildest dreams. Likewise, if you fail to plant, water, and fertilize the healing garden within you, you will continue to struggle to survive on minimal sustenance, dry conditions and lack of attention. This is the difference between surviving and thriving.

The Inner Power way of living does not have to be a difficult or time-consuming change, but it does require a change. The required change is a change of focus. Plain and simple. What you put in your inner garden matters. Imagine how good you would feel and what you would be like if you put as much positive thought and healing energy into your inner garden as you currently put worried thoughts and the negative energy of stress and tension. This negativity added to the energetic drain of doing too much leaves your garden with very little positive energy to live on. You have the power to change all that. Each day when you wake up you can decide if this day you will feed your inner healing garden or if you will be too focused on something else to give yourself the energy that you need to thrive. It is your choice, every day. In chapter 1 you made the commitment to yourself to make you and your health an important priority. Each day you must recommit to your health with focus and action. By practicing the Inner Power techniques daily at a preset time and periodically throughout the day, you are insuring that your body, mind, emo tions, and soul receive the cultivating attention that gives you the energy to bloom. This is neither difficult nor time-consuming when you integrate the techniques into your everyday life. Perhaps the following description of an ordinary day in my life will give you some tips and ideas about ways that you can easily integrate self-healing into your everyday life. The Inner Power Way of Thriving Awakening to the first chime of the morning alarm, I roll over and stare at the glowing red 6:29, mesmerized as the numbers flip to 6:30 and then 6:3 1. The thin sliver of the crescent moon shines in the window above the clock and I calculate the sun is still almost an hour and a half away from rising on this crisp, dark December morning in mid-Michigan. Taking a quick assessment, I note that my body feels healthy and rested, although I am reluctant to leave the warm comfort of my water bed. I take a deep breath, roll out of bed, turn off the alarm before the second ring chimes, and pull on the sweatshirt and warm-up pants from the floor near my bed. I shake my head as my memory slips back into the years before when I was so cold and ill that I slept in clothes heavier than these, and still struggled to get warm. I am amazed that I can almost still feel that all-pervading cold, even though now I sleep comfortably in a long, large t-shirt. Allowing myself to engage deeper in my awareness of the changes, I also notice the differences in my ability to get out of bed promptly at the first sound of the alarm and that within minutes of rising I am awake and feeling good. I am pleased with my recovery and allow myself a moment of personal commendation as I walk down the hall to wake up my teenage daughter, Lauren. A few minutes, later with Lauren now awake and showering, I have a short span of free time for myself to perform the first of my daily healing rituals. I gladly snuggle back into my warm water bed and click the play button to start the fifteen-minute CD. The rhythmic drumming carries me away to my departure point at the sacred wooded property that my family and I share. Facing east toward the rising sun, I stand grounded on the grassy hill near the woods. My feet are firmly planted on the earth

and I feel roots growing out of the bottoms, reaching deep into the rocky soil. The reddish brown energy of Mother Earth moves up my body through my roots and into my feet, legs, torso, arms, neck and head. I raise my arms into the sky and reach for universal energy from above. I feel a column of clear light energy stream down my body from above into my hands, arms, head, neck, torso, legs, and feet. My body feels ignited and in my mind's eye I see myself glowing with a pulsating vibrancy. An owl calls from the northeast corner of the woods and I look in her direction, hoping to catch a glimpse. Another "whooo-whooo" echoes through the air, this time barely audible as I take flight and soar above the woods. I am drawn upward into the deep blue sky and through the velvety-black, starlit universe. Beyond an infinite number of galaxies, I pass through the membrane that separates the worlds and enter a body of tranquil turquoise water like an ocean. I frolic with dolphins and glide in deep currents with whales, hearing their clicks and songs with my ears and feeling the vibrations in my body. I tingle all over with the sensuality of flowing with the undulations of the ocean and these magnificent, loving beings. Soon I find myself alone lying on the small, white sandy beach surrounded by lush tropical vegetation, rain-forested mountains, and crystalline waterfalls. I stand naked under the water that spills from the jagged rocky mountain peak and feel the cleansing energy reverberate through my entire being. I launch instantaneously through the water on wings of a bird to the mountain peak and beyond. Slipping through the rainbow spirals that separate the levels of my upperworld terrain, I veer left at the fifth level and soar into the mouth of a cave located in the center of a grassy mountainside. The orange reflection of the setting sun shimmers off the lakes below as I am greeted by my Spirit Teacher, Rainbow Wind. We embrace with the joy of our reunion and she praises me for continually choosing to journey to learn and grow with her. Firmly grasping hands, we lift off into the sky and travel once more high into the aurora borealis. The pulsating electric vibrations and dancing colors of energy penetrate my body and register deep within my soul. I notice that I am alone and I wonder where Rainbow Wind has gone. As if in response to my question, a thought enters my mind that I need to be here alone. So I relax and dance with the rhythmic movement of the vivid colors and, as the energy flows in and around me I am unexpectedly moved to tears. Suspended by the healing energy of these wondrous "northern lights," I cry deeply and loudly, releasing the pent-up angst of my ordinary world struggles. I let go of the frustrations of my roles and responsibilities and listen intently to the song of my inner truth. I am reminded of the healing benefits of connecting with the passion of my soul-self and letting go of my worldly concerns. As the pain gradually dissipates, a quiet calm fills my center, leaving me with the feelings of inner peace and strength. I rest in the pacific solitude of the resplendent surging light until the change in drumbeat signals my return. Soaring back down to the cave, I express my gratitude to Rainbow Wind and embrace her with a farewell hug. I reluctantly fly from the grassy mountain, turning right toward the steep mystically shrouded neighboring peaks. I take a sharp turn down and glide through the spiraling rainbow swirls separating each level, passing through the ocean, the starlit universe, and the deep blue sky unto the grassy knoll of my departure point. Gradually, I pull my intention back into my body in my bedroom, into complete consciousness. I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and enjoy "be-ing" for a few

moments, allowing the experience, healing, and learning to integrate. Full of energy as always, my husband, Pat, strolls to my bedside adjusting his tie. With a kiss he bids me "have a great day" and bounds down the stairs. Feeling fresh and energized, I bounce out of bed, ready for my day. With good organic coffee from Honduras beginning to brew in the kitchen, I run upstairs in response to Lauren's call requesting my assistance to French braid her pigtails. Today is a big day. It is game day at Mason High. It is Lauren's first game day as a varsity cheerleader. She is beaming with anxious excitement, and I am thrilled to be a part of it. Today the cheerleaders are required to dress in their uniform warm-ups in preparation for the game tonight. Perfect hair, braided with blue and red ribbons is part of the package for looking good on this special day, so Lauren sits backwards on the toilet seat excitedly chatting as I part and interweave her long, auburn hair. With a smile of approval at the perfect plaits reflected in the mirror, she bounces down the stairs, grabs some fruit and her backpack, and heads out the door. My gaze follows her and I feel her excitement. She smiles as she meets her good friend and fellow cheerleader, Sarah, at the driveway edge, and they exchange talk and laughter as they head toward school. I pour the savory, hot, black coffee into my moose mug and I notice how wonderful I feel. I am happy for Lauren's adventures and successes in school and with friends. I am ecstatic that I am healthy enough to fully enjoy these things with her. I reverently thank the Spirits for my recovery and head into the computer room. Enjoying my creamy black brew as it slides down my throat and warms my belly, I check my email for correspondence from friends and clients. The incoming list is not too long today, so it takes only about twenty minutes to read and respond to it. The next half hour I spend retrieving telephone messages and returning calls to clients, setting appointments for the next several weeks. Glancing at the clock, I am pleased to note that I have about an hour before my first appointment. With this time that I carefully attempt to allot for myself each day before my first client, I move energy through my body with a twentyminute power yoga routine with Rodney Yee. Popping in the tape, I instantly calm at the sight of Rodney beginning a sun salutation with the waves of the Pacific Ocean lapping up onto the beach behind him. My strong and healthy body moves in rhythmic unison to Rodney's peaceful routine as I move gently into each stretching pose. My body welcomes the movement that feels like a self-massage, and my mind enjoys the calm I find in the center of my soul. I become aware of a tight feeling in my shoulders as I lean into a triangle pose and I place my attention in those muscles to determine the cause. A thought slips into my mind that normal everyday stress is causing me to tighten and hold the weight of my world in these muscles. I hold the pose a little longer and feel the message of my body. I acknowledge the stress and my body's response. I then move the emotion out of my shoulders and up into my head by visualizing the energy as a moving bubble. I see the bubble of energy in my head for a moment and then I let it go by moving it out through the top of my head. As I step back into a mountain pose I notice that I was successful in releasing the blockage and the tightness is gone. My body heats up, moves, stretches, and releases as Rodney guides me through the end of the series of power poses. The Power Yoga tape for stamina ends with stretches and guided

relaxation that allow me to reflect inward. I am calm, whole, and content. As the tape ends, I click the off button on the VCR, set a timer, and settle into a comfortable sitting position for fifteen minutes of meditation to maintain this connection with the stillness of my soul-self. Focusing on my breath as it moves in and out, in and out, in and out, I am aware only that I am breathing. I have no thoughts other than I am breathing in, and I am breathing out, for fifteen short minutes of peaceful stillness that creates a lasting calm and connection that stays with me all day. At the chime of the timer, I scan my body, emotions, and thoughts before slowly opening my eyes. I am aware that I am energetic, tranquil, and content. The timer chimes again signaling the necessity to get ready for work, so I hop up and head to the shower. In this state of open awareness, I notice the deliciousness of the hot water sliding down my skin and soaking deep into my relaxed muscles. Mmmmm, it's wonderful to finally notice these little details that 1 had missed for so much of my life. I am filled with vigor as I step from the shower, towel off, and perform my simple primping routine. Standing in front of the mirror, blow drying my hair, my mind wanders back in time to the lackluster days when I barely had enough strength to get out of bed, let alone get ready for my day. I recall how my arms hurt as I reached up to braid my hair, but it was the only thing I could do to look decent those many days that I didn't have enough energy to wash, mousse, and dry my hair. It seems like such a simple task now that I have so much energy. Bending over and shaking my head to fluff my long copper curls, I shake off the pain of my past and finish my routine. My dog Mana barks, the doorbell rings, and my full day of back-to-back healing and counseling sessions is underway. Midway through my busy day, I have a short break between clients so I eat a healthy light lunch and fill with energy to be sure I stay connected, strong, and healthy. Warm sunshine streams in through the crystals hanging in the south window causing dancing prisms of rainbow colors to slowly crawl across the ceiling, walls, and floor, baring witness to my ritual. Mindfully doing a combination of the Grounding Tree and Rainbow Fountain energy movement visualizations, I stand in the rays of sunshine and wash the dishes. I take in a deep breath and shake off the stresses of my day. Closing my eyes, I feel my feet firmly planted on the floor. I begin to visualize roots growing out of the soles that go through the floor, the basement, and into the ground below. I see them growing thicker and longer, stretching down deep into the core of the earth. I feel the rhythm of the earth, the many layers, water tables, temperature changes, and the texture of the soil as it changes down through the layers. I breathe in deeply and bring the earth energy up through my feet and legs into my torso, imagining it to be the trunk of a tree. I feel the earth energy mingle with my life force essence. I then raise my hands, palms up into the air to Father Sky and imagine my arms are branches gathering in the energy of the universe. I feel that energy come down into my torso where it mingles and mixes with my life force essence and the earth energy. I breathe deeply and I feel deeply. I honor the connection, thanking the universe for creation and the earth for sustaining life. I thank the trees for bridging them both and I hold the combined energy in my body.

Allowing myself to fully relax, I feel the deep red earth energy swirl in my base chakra area. I focus on the color red and stir the energy for a few minutes. I then visualize moving the energy up into my sacral chakra area, focus on the color orange, and stir the energy. Moving the energy up to my solar plexus chakra, I focus on the color yellow, and stir the energy. Moving the energy up into my heart chakra, I focus on the color green, and stir the energy. Moving the energy up into my throat chakra, I focus on the color blue, and stir the energy. Moving the energy up into my third eye, I focus on the color purple, and stir the energy. Moving the energy up into my crown chakra, I focus on the color violet, and stir the energy. Moving the energy above my head, I focus on the color clear/white, and stir the energy. I am a column of pulsating rainbow energy. With my intention I extend the energy to the chakra just above my head and then I split the energy into two waves of clear white energy filled with rainbow droplets that cascade down around my body and soak back into the earth, like a rainbow fountain. I draw the energy from the earth back up into my body, move it through my chakra centers, and allow it spill down around me, back into the earth once more. As I continually visualize this energy flow, my body becomes hot and I sway from side to side. I feel that I am glowing and vibrating. Completing my dish-washing task, I visualize the flowing energy coming to rest in the center of my being in my solar plexus chakra. I slowly open my eyes and bring my attention to my ordinary consciousness. I feel refreshed and ready for the rest of my day. Checking the clock on the microwave I am reminded of how quick and easy it is to keep myself healthy. A mere four minutes and I needed to wash the dishes anyway. Mantis bark and the doorbell ring alert me that the rest of my busy workday is underway. I have a full afternoon of back-to-back sessions and a home visit that extends into the early evening. I feel energized and ready for anything the world might bring my way. My first afternoon appointment is a counseling session; my second, an extraction and soul retrieval; and my third, teaching guided relaxation and visualization to a client having difficulty with body aches, pains, and insomnia. As my last client schedules a follow-up appointment, Lauren waits patiently for my attention. She needs a ride to an appointment and is requesting the services of Mom the taxi driver, so we grab our coats and venture out to the cold car. During the ten-minute drive, Lauren chats excitedly about her day at school and the upcoming game. It is so fun for me to be a part of this with her and, again, a thought quickly passes through my mind that I am so thankful for my renewed energy and health. I drop her at her destination and I continue on my way to my last appointment. A facet of my professional business is subcontract work with the Family Independence Agency of the State of Michigan, providing counseling services to children in foster care and adoptive situations. In this particular case, I am working with four adopted children in one family, and I see them in their home. This makes it easier for their mom who works until about six o'clock each night. I also find it beneficial to work with children in their natural environment, so I provide this unique service that entails a half-hour drive.

Cruising down the expressway toward their home, I am drawn to look into the ditches, fields, and forests to see the light fluffy new-fallen snow clinging to every little branch, dried flower, and seed head. The little white caps of snow give an animated look to the otherwise dry brown weeds and the snow-covered pines appear to be wrapped in a warm fuzzy white blanket. The beauty is astounding and I am thankful for this reason to be out enjoying the Michigan winter, hand-painted by Mother Nature. Without this weekly home visit, I would be seeing clients at home today and I would have missed these beautiful sights. With this thought, my mind ventures into the past to recall when this half hour drive was nothing short of grueling. My exhausted body and thick, fuzzy mind were barely operable, and with each trip it was a miracle that I arrived there and home again without incident. I think back on those days when I was unable to focus or stay alert, and I know that divine guidance must have played a protective role in my safety. I surely should not have been driving under those conditions, but I had to work so I did. I acknowledge the blessings of Spirit intervention that have been and are continually being bestowed upon me and look once more to the beauty painted in nature today. Just before merging from highway 127 to highway 96, a huge red-tailed hawk careens down out of the thick white sky toward my car and then swoops up, silhouetted by the snow-filled clouds. I am blessed to witness this, and I take in the sight, body and soul. I breathe deeply and feel the energy of the hawk move within me. My heart swells and I fill with grace. The hawk is a messenger from Spirit, and I know my gratitude has been appreciated. The omen of seeing the hawk reminds me to check myself to be sure my energy is flowing and to clear and reconnect if it is not. Winding down the ramp that links the two highways I feel each chakra and visualize the energy of each one spinning. I recognize that by paying attention to the energy of my body on a regular basis I feel the messages of imbalance and can do something quickly to harmonize before the symptoms exacerbate. In this way, I stay connected to Spirit all the time, in my everyday mundane life, not just in meditation, journey, or ritual. I know this is an integral key to my continued recovery. Merging onto highway 96, I feel muscle tightness in my shoulders and neck, indicating a blockage in the flow of energy through this area. This is a common problem for me, as I tend to hold my worries and stresses there. I visualize the green energy of my heart chakra moving up into my shoulders and neck and the blue energy of my throat chakra moving down into my shoulders. I visualize the energy mixing and stirring until I feel a release of the muscle tightness. Because I do this energy-movement exercise often, I catch the tightness before it turns into a big problem, and the release occurs quickly. A few miles down the road, I am loose and comfortable, my body feeling relaxed and in balance. Singing along with the Celtic rock band 7 Nations, I pull off the exit onto the city streets that take me to the home of my four energetic clients. It had often been a challenge to keep up with the high energy level of these children, two of whom have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, but not

anymore. I am excited to be with them, helping them work through the serious issues of their traumatic pasts and present-day family, school, and peer pressure adjustments. Before I am able to ring the doorbell, the door bursts open and I am welcomed by all four children, chatting about who gets to go first and asking what games I brought to play. Although we do serious therapeutic work, I make it fun and less threatening by playing games as we talk. One by one, each child takes their turn, and I engage with them in their individual process. During the tiny break of a few moments that naturally occurs between each child's session, I notice that I am feeling sincere love for these children, and I honor their fighting spirit within that unconsciously drives them to overcome the traumas of their pasts. These brave and noble children are courageous beyond their knowing, simply by their lot in life, and I am honored to be a part of their healing process. The fourth and final child comes bounding into the living room scanning for the game of choice as I greet him and we begin our session. The afternoon slowly fades into evening, the sun is setting, and darkness falls in wintry Michigan as I exit the house. Big fluffy flakes of snow swirl down from the sky as I return the games to their cold home in the trunk and warm up my car. The impending darkness creates a dusky backdrop for the snowy drive home. Lauren has already gotten a ride to the team dinner with a friend so I calculate the amount of time before the start of the basketball game and determine I have enough for a four-mile run. Quickly, I change into my winter running clothes of thick lycra, capilene, and wind-breaking nylon, and step out into the crisp December air. The huge fluffy snowflakes continue to fall silently to the earth, wrapping the ground in an inch-thick blanket. Passing by the high school tennis courts, I veer right onto the wooded path of my favorite running route. The forest stands silent in her new coat of snow and the sounds of the outside world are muffled by her sheltering stance. As if on cue, I quietly slip into a trance state of consciousness and invite my Spirit Teachers to come and run through the forest with me. My faithful companion, Running Wolf, appears through the trees, looking more like a wolf than a man this evening. I feel the fluent energy of his Spirit loping at my right in the gait of a wolf and I imitate the rhythm as best I can. Instantaneously, his Spirit merges with mine and he becomes a part of me. The fluid, explosive energy that the wolf embodies moves within my body and I feel his raw power. I have incredible brute strength, agility, and a primal understanding. The gait of my run changes and my feet hit the ground in a soft, powerful rhythm. My mind is clear of thought and I feel the exquisite freedom of being wild and boundless. Exiting the woods and entering the pond-filled park via the narrow gravel road, I feel my body glide along its curves, up and down and around I flow. With heaving breath, coursing blood, surging muscles, and steaming sweat, I revel in the joy of running. Fiery stars begin to sparkle in the night sky as the last of the snowflakes come to rest on the blanket already covering the earth. Rounding the ponds, I pass the soccer field and the tennis courts. Stepping onto the pavement of the high school parking lot signals the beginning of my return to ordinary consciousness. Running Wolf disengages, and I thank him for sharing my run with me tonight. Turning right onto my street and then left into my driveway, I am fully conscious. My faithful old running companion, Mana, who retired from running at age twelve, waits excitedly at the door. I

take her for a walk around the block and contemplate the similar characteristics she shares with Running Wolf. Returning home, I know I must hurry to be ready in time for the start of the basketball game and I rush up the stairs to the bathroom. The relaxing hot water reminds me that even though I am in a hurry, it doesn't take any extra time to be mindful of the energetic internal cleansing I enjoy when I shower. As the water slides down my skin, I use the Rainbow Waterfall exercise by visualizing myself standing in a shallow pool of water in a tropical rain forest jungle. From the top of the mountain cliff behind me, a gentle warm waterfall, sparkling with droplets of rainbow prisms, cascades down onto my body. The energy colors slip through my skin, sinking deep into the molecules of my body and energy field, washing away any blockages and congestion as it flows through me and into the pool. I relax and feel the warm, soothing energy cleanse and heal me as I finish washing. Stepping from the shower, I notice that I feel a peaceful inner calm accented with vital energy, and I towel off, dress, and scurry downstairs to prepare a healthy dinner. Although I don't dawdle, I am mindful to taste the savory flavors of the chicken, wild rice, and vegetable medley that constitute my dinner. Promptly sticking the dishes in the dishwasher, I pull on my favorite polar fleece vest bearing the emblem from Lake Superior Provincial Park and walk over to the high school to watch Lauren cheer at the boy's basketball game. Smiling and happy to see me, she bounds across the field-house floor projecting her excitement in my direction. Wrapping her in a quick embrace, I am thrilled to be a part of her activities and happy that I feel so alive and vital and able to enjoy these moments fully. "Mom, I'm so nervous!" she whispers loudly in my ear. I respond with, "Just have fun!" as she rejoins her team to perform a high-flying gymnastic stunt. Quickly, I scan the crowd for the parents of the other cheerleaders and take my place in the established booster section. Taking a deep breath, I drink in this moment of palpable excitement while taking off my sweatshirt and vest. Unexpectedly, I become aware that dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, I am warm in the field house where I spent seemingly endless frozen hours at my step-daughter's events, suffering with a feverish sickness. I used to sit alone with my husband, not having enough energy to expend interacting with others. In contrast, now I am sitting with a group of other parents, participating in the constant chatter about kids, work, and life, and the stands that used to be so painfully uncomfortable are now tolerable, marking the change in my health. Just as the game is getting underway, Pat arrives, takes a seat next to me, and waves at Lauren. Blushing, she sheepishly waves back, both embarrassed by, and enjoying the parental attention in front of her peers. As the game progresses, we briefly share the highlights of our days. He is frustrated by a situation with one of the staff he supervises at work and reports the psychology class that he teaches at the local community college went well tonight. I share with him the events of my day and before I know it the game is over. Lauren yells across the field house that she is getting a ride home with a friend so I stroll out into the brisk starlit night toward home. The bright stars twinkle with a friendly greeting as I

locate and appreciate the various prominent constellations. Tonight the sky is crystal clear and I notice that Jupiter and Saturn are in close proximity to the moon. Although I am thoroughly enjoying my celestial connection, I can bear the cold no longer and trot home, arriving just before Pat who was held up in game traffic. Sitting down at the computer to quickly check my e-mail, I notice and quickly dismiss that I am feeling a little anxious. Within a few minutes Lauren bursts through the front door bubbling with enthusiasm as she describes the experiences of her first varsity game. She is thrilled with the cheer team's performance and the acceptance by her student body peers. She chatters on about her impressions, accomplishments, and the areas she feels they need to practice until her telephone rings signaling her disappearance. Her quick exit seems to be a cue for me to explore the mild anxiety that I had noticed a few moments before so I pull up the ongoing Psyche Inventory-Recurring Emotions format on the computer screen. Reading each question silently to myself, I search my mind and emotions for answers, and check with my truth spot for confirmation. What am I feeling? Slightly anxious. What do I feel that is deeper than this feeling? Tired. Why do I feel this? Because it has been a full day. Go deeper. What feelings are underneath these initial feelings? I'm frustrated that the feeling of being tired always comes in when I do this work. It seems like it is an emotional cover-up for something deeper. Or ... maybe it is my body trying to alert me of an imbalance ... either way ... I realize that it is important for me to always go deeper instead of "blaming" it on being tired. Are there any feelings underneath those? Yes, I am sad. Keep going as deeply into all of your thoughts and feelings as possible by continuing to ask yourself Is there anything deeper?" and "What is underneath that feeling?"I am sad for Lauren that her father does not live near, so he is not a part of these awesome things that she is doing, and the wonderful young lady that she is. Deeper than that, I realize that I still feel guilty because I couldn't make the marriage work for her benefit. Deeper than that, I realize that it makes me angry that I still feel this way after all the work I have done processing this issue. What is this feeling trying to teach me? That I still have an emotional and energetic attachment to Lauren's adjustment to the divorce and her father's subsequent move across the country. What am I doing with these feelings? Apparently nothing ... or maybe avoiding them, since I wasn't consciously aware that this was still an issue.

Am I avoiding them, stuffing them inside of me, or allowing them to flow freely through me? Same as above. Is there something else I could do with these feelings that would be healthier? Yes, explore and become more aware of them so that I can eventually release them. Does this feeling trigger a deeper core issue? Yes. If so, what is it? That I am somehow responsible for Lauren's emotional adjustment and mental health. Where did it originate? I'm not sure. Is it something from my past? It must be .... If so, what? Perhaps I unconsciously made this agreement with myself when she was born or when I decided to have children. Why? Because I have seen and worked with so many emotionally wounded children as a mental health professional that I wanted to be sure that she was always okay. Where and how did the core issue or feeling originate? Maybe it actually formed before I decided to have her based on my professional experience and the frustration and compassion that are elicited in me working with wounded children. It is probably also that it is hard work to deal with difficult emotional issues and I want to spare her that, just as most parents want to spare their children pain ... silly, because nobody can do that for somebody else. Does this feeling or issue challenge any of my self-identifications or beliefs? No. It challenges my feelings and reactions based on the contradiction of my belief that everybody needs to do their own work. That is how we mature and grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Are they still valid for me now? Yes, my beliefs are still valid. Do I need to reassess these self-identifications and beliefs now that I am an adult? No. Do I need to change any of my characteristics or my behaviors in any way? Yes, I need to release my emotional and energetic attachments to Lauren's feelings. These things are not caused by me and they are out of my control. Therefore by releasing my attachment and guilt, I will be better able to help her if she asks for help and to release myself from unhealthy dependency. Are there any thoughts, details, or feelings that I have missed? Yes, I feel angry at her father for not being present in her life. This feels like an emotion that is healthy. I am okay at being angry with him rather than feeling responsible for her emotions about this issue. Are there any questions of my own that come to mind that I should ask myself to dig further into this issue? Yes. What will I choose to do with my anger? I will release that too, since it is not in my control to determine how present he chooses to be with his daughter. I then sit back, take in a deep breath, and spend the next few minutes going back and reading all the

answers on the screen and processing my emotions as they bubble forth. I then contemplate everything in a noninvolved, observational way. This helps me to discharge some of the emotional impact so that I can see more clearly why and how parts of myself became trapped in this situation. And then I continue with the Psyche Inventory process ... Is this still emotionally charged for me? Yes. If yes, what emotions stand out initially? Anger, that he is, in my personal and professional-okay, mostly personal-experience, hurting her emotionally with his lack of insight. Looking underneath these initial reactions at the dynamics of the entire emotion, what do I feel? Deeper anger! What do I think? I'm justified. What happened that I can't get past? That he broke his agreement to be an involved and loving parent because of the divorce. He moved out west, a dream that we had once shared, and left his daughter. Two immense crimes. I became her sole provider ... a role I am pleased to fulfill while at the same time being angry with him for not fulfilling his half of the agreement. What part of myself did I leave behind? The wild and free and uncaring part of me that also wants to move out west and run away from responsibility. Did I give a part of myself to another person? Yes. If yes, who? My daughter. How? Unconsciously ... in my agreement to always be there for her. Why? Because I didn't want her to feel abandoned or to ever have to stand alone as long as I was able to be there for her. Is there something that has attached itself to me? Yes. If yes, what? Guilt for asking for the divorce, and a false sense of responsibility for her emotional well-being. From whom or where? Myself and myself. How and why? Same as above. Is there something that I took? Yes. Ifyes, what? I took on Lauren's father's half of the parenting agreement that he broke when he moved. Is there a part of myself still trapped? Yes. If yes, what part? The part that feels responsible for all of this.

Where and how is this trapped? It is trapped in my heart in the compassion that I felt at the time and that I now feel when I recall the trapped memories engraved in my mind of the many nights when she would cry herself to sleep in the early days telling me how much she missed her Dad. What does this feel like? It feels like the violent impact of a jagged unsharpened knife being thrust into my heart and left lung and my skull splitting under the weight of a wellplaced battle axe. (I know that this is the point at which I must grab the parts of myself and my energy that I lost and/or release whatever attached to me that holds me in bondage.) Continuing to stand openly and honestly inside of the emotion, I ask: How do I reclaim what is mine? And, how do I release another's energy or whatever else is attached to me? I go into this pain ... and allow it to turn into a vision ... perhaps a journey ... and do what comes naturally. If the answer is reasonable, moral, agreeable, and "do-able" right now, do it. Description of what I did and my experience: I allowed my attention and consciousness to go deeply into the pain that I was feeling in my heart, my lung, and in my head. Inside of that pain, I saw and felt the weapons of war that had penetrated my energy field through my emotions. I energetically pushed the battle axe out of the top of my head until it fell to the floor beside me and then I energetically pushed the knife out of my lung and heart. I did this with my will and my intention. I was determined to get these things out of me and off of me so my will forced them to recede. Once they were out of me, I activated my inner healer to heal the bloody gaping wounds. I saw my body naturally healing itself, although I don't logically know how this happened. And I felt it tangibly in my body. I felt the blood stop dripping down my face, and my belly, and I felt the nerves, muscles, organs, and skin heal all the way down to the cellular level. I then went back in time to the talk Lauren's father and I had on the way home from Mackinaw Island when we decided to have a baby, how excited we were, and how the agreement was formed. I revisited her birth and the first two years of her life and our lives together. I then saw that I grew restless. My soul cried out for more, so I enrolled and excelled in graduate school. This began the unraveling of my marriage. My main concern was always for the welfare of my child, but I also had to take care of me. The separation and then the divorce occurred and everything was okay until he met me one evening in our exchange for Lauren, when she was seven-years-old, and told me that he and his new wife were moving across the country. My heart sunk and my mouth opened wide in disbelief. Less than a month later he was gone, the everyotherweekend visits to her dad ceased, and the reality sunk in that he had emotionally and physically detached himself from her everyday life. What I hadn't realized until now, is at that point, I unconsciously agreed to accept his half of his agreement and responsibility. What that came down to is that I was her everything. It now began to make total sense as to why I found it so difficult to let her stepdad in on the parenting decisions. The energy that I needed to release and reclaim then became

very clear to me. Energetically, I released my unconscious burden of being both parents and allowed myself to become just mom. I also gave Lauren the responsibility and the independence to be responsible for her own emotional adjustment as I released my unhealthy feelings of responsibility. Each of these releases appeared in my mind's eye as the taking off of heavy, wet wool coats and the physical feeling of being lighter was tangible instantly. The energy that I had unknowingly given away flew in front of me as a big beautiful butterfly. I gently pulled her to my chest and she flew into my solar plexus and heart. I felt such a startling physical impact that I immediately and consciously acknowledged this return of my power and my right to live as a free and unattached, unique and separate person with my own destiny to fulfill. My interpretation of this experience: Wow, what a huge energetic and emotional burden has been lifted from me. I can now parent from the emotionally healthy place of being a mom, rather than trying to be both parents. And WOW! What a gift to have my power and freedom returned! I feel: Really healthy, free, and light. I think: That this was a very powerful interpersonal healing. It is amazing and awesome that after all these years of carrying this unconscious burden, I am free. I sit quietly for a few moments welcoming the energy home and checking with my truth spot to be sure my inner work is complete. With the help of a deep, belly breath I completely let go of all of my emotions and thoughts. The inner peace that I feel as I shut down the computer and step into the living room is mountainous. My husband looks up at me with inquiring eyes. I quickly check within, shake my head, and say, "Wanna relax in the hot tub?" Finally finished with the day, Pat and I grab towels and wrap up the evening with the relaxation of a light meditation in the hot tub. Quietly and reverently watching the stars, we each relax into the hot, bubbling water and drift into a few moments of peaceful trance. I visualize the energy of the hot water moving through my cells, warming them and cleansing any blockages or tension from the day. I know I have performed several versions of this today, but constant awareness, cleansing, and energyconnecting is what keeps me vibrant and alive. I silently express gratitude to my soul-self and the divine powers of the universe for my health and ability to fully interact with life, while soaking in the last few moments of this peaceful relaxation before bed. Stepping into the hot water that showers the sweat and residual chlorine from my body, I realize that though the evening is quite late and I am now tired, I have been full of energy right up until the end. Quickly toweling off and pulling on my sleep-shirt, I check on the status of Lauren and her homework. She is almost finished so I kiss her goodnight and return to the bedroom. As I do each night, I press the "on" button of the tape player as I snuggle into bed. Barely hearing anything beyond the beginning few words of the self-hypnotic healing induction, I fall deeply asleep, unlike the many

sleepless nights of illness, pain, and frozen-to-the-core shivers of my not-so-distant past. HEALING INSIGHTS The depiction above is the description of an actual day in my life of renewed health and enlightenment. Any day that I might have chosen would have had the similar components of awareness and frequent attention to connection with my soul-self and divine Spirits. Each and every day I connect as many times as this day I have described, and sometimes more, when time allows. As I have expressed and demonstrated, this is the key to maintaining the health and vigor of my recovery. For the past three years, it has been necessary for me to travel about every two weeks to attend trainings, family functions, facilitate trainings, and work on this book. In addition to my work and family responsibilities, athleticism, and my pursuit of spiritual growth, this frequent travel has added the stresses of stale airplane and airport air, exposure to illnesses, crowds, increased security searches, disrupted personal schedules and biorhythms, and lack of rest from early morning and late night flights. In addition, it has been imperative that I process the emotions created by being away from my home and family, and continue my mission of integrating the missing pieces of illness, recovery, and enlightenment that I uncover through the writing of this book and life occurrences. In the past, any one of these stresses or endeavors would have worn me out, gravely impacted my immune system, and allowed the illness to relapse. The combination of these stressors would have been deadly. However, because I connect with the divine healing Spirits and my soul-self every day through the use of the techniques described in this book, I have remained energetic, vibrantly healthy, and increasingly aware. This has been a true test of the efficacy of these healing techniques. My sincere desire is that you, too, are able to actualize powerful selfhealing and fulfilling enlightenment.

I pledge to never lose my light, my self, and my truth!

Glossary of Terms Agreements: conscious or unconscious acceptance and ownership of the way things are with one's self, one's life, and in the world based on our teachings and role modeling. These agreements form the foundation of our belief system. Alpha State: the alpha state of consciousness is the measurable brain-wave activity of altered consciousness analogous with relaxation, meditation, and dreaming. Allowing your mind to relax into an alpha state is a powerful healing and enlightening tool beneficial for stress reduction, quieting the mind, connecting with the inner soul-self, and balancing the emotions. Animism: the understanding that all things are living and have a life-force Spirit or soul whether they appear to be animate or inanimate. For example, animals, trees, rocks, the chair you are sitting in, and this book that you are reading all have an active living Spirit. Automatic writing: free expression writing of whatever thoughts and feelings come to mind, without concern for content, sentence structure, grammar, or punctuation. Awareness: a state of mindfulness in which we train ourselves to observe and witness the totality of our environment, our inner workings, the wisdom of ourselves, the universe, and the rhythm of life. When used as a daily practice, awareness creates an opening for life to move through us and in us, helping us to dissolve no longer useful societal programming and to become connected, harmonious, and balanced. Centering: the act of bringing all of your energy back home into your body using various techniques. Often our energies are drawn out of our bodies into our minds and activities causing us to feel anxious and out of balance, creating energy leakage that eventually leads to fatigue and illness. Chakras: seven major wheels of spiraling energy in and around the body. Complimentary or alternative medicine: healing practices that are not based in Western allopathic medicine such as acupuncture, Ayurveda, hypnotherapy, body work, Chinese medicine, chiropractic, shamanism, herbal medicine, homeopathy, naturopathy, Reiki, therapeutic touch, massage, and more. Cosmic two-by-four. universal, invisible "boards" used by Spirit to whack us over the head when we aren't getting an important message or we have fallen away from our life path. These cosmic twoby-fours may appear as difficult life situations, unresolved emotions and feelings, or as physical

messages of fatigue or pain. De-tensify: the act of using any of a myriad of methods in order to remove stress and tension from our bodies. Ego: the part of our psyche that defines self and acts as the mediator between the self and the rest of the world. When we accept information into the ego, it becomes a part of who we think we are, and we develop behaviors and patterns that express this. Ego defense: the psychological reflexive protection of one's beliefs, agreements, behaviors, and societal programs. It is a powerful adversary when trying to uncover and rectify the hidden identities, beliefs, agreements, and behavioral programs that may be making us ill. The ego defense tries very hard to prevent us from changing by creating uncomfortable emotions that cause most people to stop trying. Energy field: a luminous body of flowing energy that surrounds and interpenetrates the physical body, emitting its own characteristic radiation. Also referred to as the "aura." Energy vampire/thief people who consciously or unconsciously drain the energy of another person through malicious intent or personal neediness. Enlightenment: a path of spiritual insight, illumination, and knowledge. Entities: nonphysical organic and inorganic beings that exist in our (middle) world in nonordinary reality. Often these are experienced as spirits of deceased people that have not crossed over into the Spirit realm. Sometimes these spirits do not know that they are dead, or they might have unfinished business here on earth, so they attach to the energy field of a living person. Being drawn to the light and life of the energy field, these entities block or compromise the victim's ability to utilize all of her/his own energy. Extraction: the shamanic healing technique of removing spiritual intrusions or energy blockages. Grounding: a healing technique of reconnecting one's life-force energy with the body and the energies of the earth. Health: harmony, balance, and wholeness of the body, mind, emotions, and soul that creates strength and resilience to meet the stresses and demands of life. Hypnosis: a method of quieting the conscious critical mind via systematic relaxation to access subconscious recall or plant suggestions. Physiologically, the mind relaxes into an alpha brain-wave state and body processes are slowed. Heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure lower. The body and mind are relaxed, allowing tensions to release. This is not a sleep state, but a state of heightened

internal awareness. The mind quiets to the outside world allowing internal focus. Intrusions: location-specific disease and pain are often the result of undesirable energy blockages that are called spiritual intrusions. Intrusions may be "old stuff," current issues, developing issues, or attacks from others, and are typically characterized by localized chronic pain or discomfort. Knowings: intuitive perceptions. Learnings: revealed knowledge. Meditation: a practice of focus and mind control with the intention of freeing the mind of mental dispersion, thus creating the state of mindfulness. Mindfulness: bare awareness in the present moment. Possession: unwanted attachments (energies), sometimes called entities, which attach to our energy field. They are commonly souls of the dead who have not crossed over into the Spirit realm, and are attracted to the light of life that we emit. Power loss: when a person becomes dis-spirited, meaning separated from their Spirit Teachers and their soul-self, they experience a power deprivation in which they may feel lost, depressed, or unconnected without awareness of why these feelings occur. Symptoms of this power loss can include: chronic fatigue, chronic illness, depression, weakness, ongoing misfortune, absentmindedness or inability to focus, emotional issues, difficulty with personal journeys, meditations, or intuitive connections, feeling as if one has lost their way or purpose. Power retrievah creates a bridge from our physical world to the Spirit worlds that reconnects us to our lost power. Psyche: an all-encompassing term referring to the many complex processes that comprise the human mind. Psyche Inventory: an effective tool for exploring one's psyche in order to uncover hidden behaviors, patterns, and experiences that may have manifested in the body in the form of physical illness. A process that helps one discover who they are and why they are the way they are, a process for stripping away the layers and defining the true core nature of oneself. Psychic Attack: the conscious or unconscious act of a person to attack the health and wellbeing of another through the energy field by sending intrusions or stealing power. Psychopomp: the shamanic technique of releasing unwanted attachments and helping deceased souls crossover into the Spirit realm.

Reiki: pronounced "Ray-key" is from the Japanese words Rei-meaning "universal," and Ki-meaning "vital life-force energy." Reiki is a hands-on (or hands just above) the body healing technique that facilitates the flow of universal healing energy around and through the body. Self-Hypnosis: utilization of the technique of hypnosis for self-healing that entails selfrecording a tape with a series of body and mind relaxations, visualizations, and suggestions for healing. Shaman: a Siberian name for "one who sees in the dark" by entering into an altered state of consciousness and journeying to other worlds to facilitate healing and positive change in people and environments. ShamanicJourney: soul travel to the Spirit otherworlds by entering into a trance state that is commonly termed the shamanic state of consciousness (SSC) and/or non-ordinary reality (NOR). This state of deep awareness allows the journeyer to place the conscious critical left-brained mind at rest in order to explore the realms of vast possibility in the otherworlds. Shamanism: a spiritual way of living based on animism, believed to be over 40,000 years old and the root of human spirituality and religion. Societal programming: the conditioning received from our environment, family, school, and religion that unconsciously forms the basis of our beliefs and behaviors. Soul: the pure life-force Spirit essence of all things. Soul loss: a spiritual, emotional, and psychological illness that occurs when a part of the soul splits off and becomes lost as a result of experiencing anything that our psyche perceives as a trauma. Soul retrieval: the shamanic healing technique of journeying on behalf of a client to find and retrieve the energy of lost soul parts. Soul-se f our true, pure, primal self acting from our soul and divine connection. Our natural way of being, living, and behaving devoid of societal programming. Our soul-self contains our deep inner knowings, awareness, and wisdom. Spirit Teachers: an all-encompassing term referring to the powerful Spirits who work with us, also known as Guardian Spirits, Religious Deities, Spirit Allies, Power Animals, Spirit Guides, Guardian Angels, Ascended Masters, Ancestors, or Totems. Spirit worlds: upper-, lower-, and middle-worlds: "otherworlds" or "realms" that exist within and around all of us, just outside of our daily perceptions. They are the "places" that shamans and journeyers experience that can be accessed through doorways or tunnels.

Visualization: an attention-focusing technique using systematic relaxation and the ingenious power of the imagination to create visual images for positive manifestation. Wholeness: the dynamic state of harmony and balance of the mind, body, emotions, and soul that creates the environment necessary for health and well-being. Witness: the part of the mind that is a nonattached, nonemotionally involved aspect of the ego that simply observes and notices. It doesn't feel, judge, try to fix, or change anything. It is simply a surveyor.

Recommended Reading, Music &J Drumming There are many good books on the subjects and techniques I have described in Inner Power. The books listed here are those that I have personally read and recommend. The titles with the * next to them are books that I recommend for general ease of content and understanding for the beginner. Know that this list is not all inclusive of the many informative books available. Visualization * Gawain, Shakti. Creative Visualization. Twenty-fifth anniversary edition. New York: New World Library, 2002. Miller, Emmett. Self Imagery. Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts, 1986. Denning, Melita and Osborne Phillips, The Llewellyn Practical Guide to Creative Visualization. Second edition. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1985. Naparstek, Belleruth. Staying Well with Guided Imagery. New York: Warner Books, Inc., 1994. Mind/Body Healing Dychtwald, Ken. Bodymind. New York: Jeremy Tarcher/Putnam Books, 1977. Moskowitz, Reed C. Your Healing Mind. New York: Avon Books, 1992. * Hay, Louise L. You Can Heal Your Life. Carson, CA: The Hay House, Inc., 1987. Laurie, Sanders G. and Melvin J. Tucker, Centering. Second edition. Rochester, VT: Destiny Books, 1993. Hay, Louise L. The Power Is Within You. Carson, CA: The Hay House, Inc., 1991. BoDine, Echo L. Passion To Heal. Mill Valley, CA: Nataraj Publishing, 1993. * Topt, Linda Noble. You Are Not Your Illness. New York: Fireside/Simon & Schuster, 1995 Hendricks, Gay. Conscious Breathing. New York: Bantam Books, 1995.

Meditation * Nhat Hanh, Thich. The Miracle of Mindfulness, A Manual on Meditation. Revised edition. Boston, MA: Beacon Press, 1987. Davis, Roy Eugene. An Easy Guide to Meditation. Revised and enl. edition. Bethesda, MD: CSA Press, 1988. Suzuki, Shunryu. Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. Twelfth paperback printing. New York & Tokyo: John Weatherhill, Inc., 1979. Chodron, Perna. Good Medicine. Audio tapes. Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 1999. . The Wisdom of No Escape. Boston, MA: Shambhala Publications, 1991. Self-Hypnosis Sraus, Roger. Creative Self Hypnosis. New York: Prentice Hall, 1989. Copelan, Rachel. How to Hypnotize Yourself and Others. Hollywood, FL: Lifetime Books, Inc. 1994. * Hadley, Josie and Carol Stauacher. Hypnosis For Change. New York: Ballantine Books, 1985.

Shamanism * Ingerman, Sandra. Shamanic journeying: A Beginners Guide. Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2004. * Cowan, Tom. Shamanism: A Spiritual Practice for Daily Life. Freedom, CA: The Crossing Press, 1996. * Harner, Michael. The Way of the Shaman. Third Edition. New York: HarperSanFrancisco/HarperCollins, 1990. * Stevens, Jose and Lena Stevens. Secrets of Shamanism. New York: The Philip Lief Group, Avon Books, 1988. * Cowan, Tom. Fire in the Head, Celtic Shamanism. New York: HarperSanFrancisco/ HarperCollins, 1993. Ingerman, Sandra. Soul Retrieval, Mending the Fragmented Self. New York: HarperSanFrancisco/HarperCollins, 1991.

* Welcome Home, Life After Healing, Following Your Soul's Journey Home. New York: HarperSanFrancisco/HarperCollins, 1993. * . A Fall to Grace. (novel) Santa Fe, NM: Moon Tree Rising Productions, 1997. * Brown, Tom Jr. Awakening Spirits. New York: Berkley Books, 1994. *Cowan, Eliot. Plant Spirit Medicine. Columbus, NC: Swan Raven & Co., 1991. Eliade, Mircea. Shamanism, Archaic Techniques ofEcstasy. Second Printing. Princeton University Press, 1974. Lee, Patrick Jasper. We Borrow the Earth: An intimate portrait of the Gypsy shamanic tradition and culture. U.K.: Thorsons Publishers, 2000. Noble, Vicki. Shakti Woman. New York: HarperSanFrancisco/HarperCollins, 1991. Prechtel, Martin. Secrets of the Talking jaguar. New York: Jeremy Tarcher/Putnam, 1998. * McGaa, Ed, Eagle Man. Mother Earth Spirituality. New York: HarperSanFrancisco/ HarperCollins, 1990. Wesselman, Hank. Spiritwalker: Messages from the Future. (novel) Reprint edition. New York: Bantam Books, 1996. . Medicinemaker: Mystic encounters on the shaman's path. (novel) Reprint edition. New York: Bantam Books, 1999. Whitely, Richard. The Corporate Shaman. (novel) New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2002. Rain, Mary Summer. Farthway. New York: Pocket Books/Simon & Schuster, 1990. Arrien, Angeles. Gathering Medicine. Audio tapes. Boulder, CO: Sounds True Recordings, 1994. Totems * Andrews, Ted. Animal Speak. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1997. * . Animal Wise. Jackson, TN: Dragonhawk Publishing, 1999. * . Nature-Speak. Jackson, TN: Dragonhawk Publishing, 2004. * . Animal Wise Tarot Cards. Jackson, TN: Dragonhawk Publishing, 1999.

* Sams, Jamie and David Carson. Medicine Cards. Revised, expanded edition. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1999. Sams, Jamie. Animal Medicine. Audio tapes. Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 1997. Conway, D. J. Animal Magick. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1996. Enlightenment/Mastering Life * Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc. 1997. * Ruiz, Don Miguel and Janet Mills. The Four Agreements Companion Book. San Rafael, CA: AmberAllen Publishing, Inc. 2000. * Ruiz, Don Miguel. Mastery ofLove. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc. 1999. * Vigil, Dona Bernadette. Mastery ofAwareness. Rochester, VT: Bear & Co. 2001. * Nelson, Mary Carroll. Beyond Fear, The Teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz. Tulsa, OK: Council Oaks Books, 1997. * Ruiz, Don Miguel with Janet Mills. The Voice ofKnowledge. San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc. 2004. Regardie, Israel. The One- Year Manual. Revised edition, York Beach, ME: Samuel Weiser, Inc. 1981. * Campbell, Joseph. Man and Myth. Audio tapes. St. Paul, MN: High Bridge Co. 1998. * Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of No w. Novato, CA: New World Library, 1999. * Free, Pamela J. Come Home to Your Body. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1997. * Millman, Dan. Everyday Enlightenment. New York: Warner Books, Inc. 1999. * Millman, Dan. Way of the Peaceful Warrior, 20th edition: A book that changes lives. Novato, CA: H. J. Kramer/New World Library, 2000. * Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Wherever You Go, There You Are. New York: Hyperion, 1994. Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Coming to Our Senses. New York: Hyperion, 2005. * Chopra, Deepak. The Way of the Wizard. New York: Harmony Books, 1995.

Easwaran, Eknath. Your Life Is Your Message. New York: Hyperion, 1992. Chopra, Deepak. The Return of Merlin. (novel) New York: Harmony Books, 1995. Jacobson, Leonard. Embracing the Present. USA: A Conscious Living Publication, 1997. Jacobson, Leonard. Words From Silence. USA: A Conscious Living Publication, 1991. * Wilber, Ken. A Brief History of Everything. Boston, MA: Shambhala, 1996. Sams, Jamie. Dancing The Dream. New York: HarperSanFrancisco/HarperCollins, 1998. * Chodron, Perna. When Things Fall Apart. Boston, MA: Shambhala, 1997. Epstein, Mark. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart. New York: Broadway Books, 1998. * Small, Jacquelyn. Embodying Spirit. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1994. * Redfield, James. The Celestine Prophecy Series. New York: Warner Books, Inc. 1993, 1995, 1996, 1999. Zukav, Gary. The Seat of the Soul. New York: Fireside/Simon & Schuster, 1990. * Elliot, William. Tying Rocks to Clouds, Meetings & Conversations with Wise & Spiritual People. Wheaton, IL: Quest Books, 1995. Walsch, Neale Donald. Conversations with God. New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1996. Yoga *Yoga Journal's Series of Yoga VHS Tapes & DVDs. Healing Arts Publishing, Inc. www.livingarts.com Christensen, Alice. The American Yoga Association Beginner's Manual. New York: Fireside/Simon & Schuster, 1987. * Lasiter, Judith. Living Your Yoga. Berkeley, CA: Rodmell Press, 1999. * Yee, Rodney. Yoga: The Poetry of the Body. New York: St. Martin's Press, 2002. * Iyengar, B. K. S. Yoga. New York: DK Adult, 2001. Reiki

* Stein, Diane. Essential Reiki. Forth printing. Freedom, CA: The Crossing Press, Inc. 1996. Nevius, Sandy and Larry Arnold. The Reiki Handbook. Harrisburg, PA: PSI Press, 1982. Baginski, Bodo and Shalila Sharamon Reiki. Mendicino, CA: LifeRhythm, 1988. Energy Healing * Brennan, Barbara. Hands of Light. New York: Bantam Books, 1987. * Ritberger, Carol. Your Personality, Your Health, Connecting Personality with the Human Energy System, Chakras, and Wellness. Carlsbad, CA: The Hay House, Inc., 1998. Natural Healing * Chopra, Deepak. Ageless Body, Timeless Mind. New York: Harmony Books, 1993. Chopra, Deepak. Quantum Healing. Exploring the frontiers of mind/body medicine. Reprint edition. New York: Bantam, 1990. Kloss, Jethro. Back to Eden. Updated and expanded edition. Loma Linda, CA: Back to Eden Publishing, Co., 1994. Weber, Tammy and Mildred Carter. Body Reflexology. Revised and updated version. West Nyack, NY: Parker Publishing Co., 1994. Balch, James and Phyllis. Prescription for Natural Healing. New York: Avery Publishing Group, 1997. Cameron, Myra. Lifetime Encyclopedia of Natural Remedies. New York: Parker Publishing Co., 1993. Heinerman, John. Heinerman's Encyclopedia of Fruits, Vegetables, and Herbs. New York: Parker Publishing Co., 1998. Payne, Mark. Super Health in a Toxic World. Hammersmith, London: Thorsons/Harper- Collins Publishers, 1992. Sachs, Judith. Nature's Guide to Emotional Health er Healing. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1997. Simon, David and Deepak Chopra. The Chopra Center Herbal Handbook. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2000. * Weil, Andrew. 8 Weeks to Optimum Health. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1997.

*Weil, Andrew. Spontaneous Healing: How to Discover and Embrace your body's natural ability to maintain and heal itself. New York: Ballantine Books, 2000. Siegel, Bernie S. Peace, Love & Healing. New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1989. Siegel, Bernie S. Love, Medicine &Miracles. New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1986. Achterberg, Jeanne. Imagery in Healing. Boston, MA: Shambhala, 1985. Borysenko, Joan. Minding the Body, Mending the Mind. Reading, MA: Addison Wesley, 1987; New York, Bantam Books, 1988. Campbell, Joseph, with Bill Moyers. The Power ofMyth. New York: Doubleday, 1988. Faelten, Sharon. The Allergy Self-he p Book. Emmans, PA: Rodale Books, 1983. CFID S/Fibromyalgia Pellegrino, Charles and Jesse Stoff. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Revised edition. New York: Harper Perennial, 1992. Ali, Majid. The Canary and Chronic Fatigue. Denville, NJ: Life Span Press, 1995. Possession * Fiore, Edith. The Unquiet Dead. New York: Ballantine Books, 1987. * Hickman, Irene. Remote Depossession. Kirksville, MO: Hickman Systems, 1994. Healing Music Mock, Andreas. Merlin's Magic: The Heart of Reiki. Boulder, CO: Inner Worlds Music, 1997. 1-800444-9678. . Merlin's Magic: Light Reiki Touch. Boulder, CO: Inner Worlds Music, 1995. 1800-444-9678. Coyote OldMan: Allen, Michael Graham and Michael Fitzsimmons. In Medicine River. Berryville, AR: Coyote Oldman Music, 1992. Goldman, Jonathon. Ultimate OM. Etherean Music. 1-888-384-3732. www.ethereanmu- sic.com.

North Word Press, Inc. Nature Quest: An Adventure in Nature and Music: Woodland Voices. United Kingdom, Gallant. Raye, Marina. Nature's Enchantment. Penrose, CA: Native Heart Music, 2004. www.marinaraye.com. . Blissful journey: Music to Nurture the Soul. Penrose, CA: Native Heart Music, 2001. www.marinaraye.com. Mirabal, Robert. Music from a Painted Cave. Boulder, CO: Silver Wave Records, Inc. 2001. www.mirabal.com. Land. Burbank, CA: Warner Bros. Records, Inc. 1995. www.mirabal.com. Song Carrier. Boulder, CO: Silver Wave Records, Inc. 1995. www.mirabal.com. Mirabal.• Alter-Native. Burbank, CA: Warner Bros. Records, Inc. 1997. www.mira- bal.com. Holly, Tery. Far Vista. So Su http://hometown.aol.com/beechlady/Spot/index.html.

Me

Music.

Atlantis. So Su Me Music. http://hometown.aol.com/beechlady/Spot/index.html. Whatever. So Su Me Music. http://hometown.aol.com/beechlady/Spot/index.html. Thesmophoria. So Su Me Music. http://hometown.aol.com/beechlady/Spot/index.html. Great Waters. So Su Me Music. http://hometown.aol.com/beechlady/Spot/index.html. Celtic Om. So Su Me Music. http://hometown.aol.com/beechlady/Spot/index.html. Nakai, R. Carlos. Emergence, Songs of the Rainbow World. Phoenix, AZ: Canyon Records Productions, 1992. Halpern, Steven. Higher Ground, Alpha & Theta Brainwave Music. San Anselmo, CA: Open Channel Sound. 1-800-726-3924 (ext. 7848) Natural Wonders, a compilation from. Virtual journey. 1-800-771-0987. Gordon, Steve and David. Sacred Earth Drums. Sequoia Records, 1994. 1-800-524-5513. Sacred Spirit Drums. Sequoia Records, 1996. 1-800-524-5513. Fitzgerald, Scott. Thunderdrums. Friday Harbor, San Juan Island, WA: World Disc Productions, Inc.,

1990. 1-800-228-5711. Drumming/Music for Journeying Harper, Michael. Shamanic Journey Solo & Double Drumming. The Foundation for Shamanic Studies, P.O. Box 1939, Mill Valley, CA 94942. 1-415-380-8282, www.shamanicstudies.org. Peters, Larry. Drumming for Shamanic journeys. 1-310-455-2713, www.tibetanshaman- ism.com. Ingerman, Sandra. Shamanic Journeying.- A Beginners Guide. Book with accompanying drumming CD. Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2004. Deatsman, Colleen. The Healing journey. 1-517-676-3187, www.colleendeatsman.com. To Write to the Author If you wish to contact the author or would like more information about this book, please write to the author in care of Llewellyn Worldwide and we will forward your request. Both the author and publisher appreciate hearing from you and learning of your enjoyment of this book and how it has helped you. Llewellyn Worldwide cannot guarantee that every letter written to the author can be answered, but all will be forwarded. Please write to:

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