In the Presence of Divine - Vol 2 - Chapter 11 - Kamakshi Patti

11. Kamu Paatti / Kamakshi of Anathandapuram “Gurunatha, you are my sole refuge, you alone can protect me. By your grace may Ambāḷ be gracious to me. By the power of your gracious words may I be blessed”, I said. At once Periyava gestured to me to stop. The pūja was laid out. It had not been packed and stored after the ritualistic worship was done. Leaving it as it was Periyava left for Thirupankoodu. I continued to be there having darśan. In the evening, Periyava returned. “sat, chit ānandam. . .1 sat is Bhikṣandār2 chit is Dakṣiṇāmūrti3and ānandam, Natarāja4. This is the place where Nataraja danced his „anandatandava‟.5” Periyava said this as he sat down at the pūja after his snāna on his return. He put away every thing and closed the pūja altar. Then he went upstairs to rest. I was anxious that Periyava should bless me with pancākṣara6 in the morning. No one had been initiated into the pancākṣara those days. Among those such as I, who had been widowed in girlhood, I was the first to receive the pancākṣara. He blessed me with the pancākṣara. Periyava came after his bath and peeped out. He saw the picture I was worshiping and sat down. “What do you want?” Periyava asked me. “The pancākṣara, nothing else”, I said. “Sit down”, said Periyava and told me to perform ācamana. This was followed by añganyāsa and karanyāsa. Then Periyava gave me the pancākṣara mantra. Valambal‟s mother had told me to request Periyava for a pair of pādukās for worship. He said, “Yes” to this request. Then I said, “I want navākṣari!” “Practise this mantra first, navaksari can come later!”. Then when he left the village, Periyava took off his pādukās when he reached the river and told my cousin - his name was Sama - “Carry these pādukās upon your head and give it to your elder sister” Sivarama Sastri had gone to Thiruvenkadu7 where Periyava was camping. Periyava gave him the guide used in the Śrī Maṭha for ritualistic worship and said, “Give this to Kamu and tell her to follow the method of worship prescribed here. This went on for a while. 1

Existence, Consciousness, Bliss Lit. Wandering mendicant, Śiva when he sought alms in the Dāruvana from the wives of sages; Part 26 of the Brahmāṇda Purāṇa narrates this episode and the origin of the liñga-image of Śiva 3 Śiva as celestial guru, seated under the banyan with the sages as his pupils 4 The blissfully dancing form of Śiva 5 Lit.the dance of divine ecstasy; Anandatandavapuram, so called because of the blissful dance performed here by Śiva; Periyava performed Navarātri pūja in 1920 here & Śrī Śankara Jayanti in 1952. several times during the course of his yatrās. 6 The Five-syllabled mantra, Śiva-Pancākṣara, "namah Śivāyah" 7 Town near Sirkazhi in Tamiḻ Naduwith the ancient temple of Swetarāṇya, renowned for its sculpture and temple tank architecture; the adiṣtānam Śri Paramasivendra Sarasvatī (Guru of Sadāśiva Brahmendra), the 57th Pontiff of the Kāmakoṭi Piṭha is located here 2

In the Presence of the Divine 2 My thoughts were always on Periyava. I wanted to have his darśan, offer bhikṣa to him and so on. Nothing else came to my mind. Periyava had sent through the Sastri some instructions for me. “For forty-five days Kamu may chant the pancākṣara mantra and do nothing else. She may take milk twice a day. None must see her. Let her mother place the milk near her room at night!” So I did just that. During that period I had many visions. At times Ambāḷ‟s face would appear decorated with a nose-ring, at times smiling at me, or at times Periyava‟s face would appear with a smile. When all this happened, everyone at home said that I was becoming deranged in mind. They were very unhappy about it and submitted the matter to Periyava, to which he replied, “She is intelligent. She is well and nothing is wrong with her. These are nothing to worry about. I shall take care of her.” It was after this that bhikṣa and pādapūja were offered to Periyava. The adoption – I adopted a boy – came the next year. Periyava was camping in Madhyārjuna8. I had rented a place and kept house there as my younger brother studied there – both Krishnamurthi and Ganesan were with me. Periyava‟s younger brother, the Ṛg Vedic scholar, Sambhamurthi Sastri - Kumju Sastri stayed across the road. Periyava would direct devotees to our place to have their meal, Rajamani mama and so many others. When things were such, I needed money to run the house. Do you get money by closing and opening your hands? What could I do? I would cry the whole day, not knowing what to do. That was when the Ati Rudram was held there9. You would have heard about that. I used to wear a sphatika māla10those days. Arasangattu Sivan who came to Tiruvidaimarudur told me that he had lost his sphatika māla and asked for mine. At once I gave him mine. Somehow Periyava seems to have noticed this. So he sent Ramajeyam to me with an instruction. “Go and ask Kamu to show you her sphatika māla. Don‟t tell her that I sent you on this errand. Ask her casually about it.” So Ramajeyam told me that he wanted to see my sphatika māla and I replied, “I have given it away to Sivan… Arasangattu Sivan.” I so much wanted to see Periyava. In those days, rules were very strict and I could not move about freely and come out as I pleased11. It was then that Melur Mama gave me a picture of Periyava – the old one, of Periyava doing pūja to Tripurasundari Candramouḷi, in 8

Tiruviḍaimarudūr or Madhyārjuna in Tañjāvūr District ; Mallikārjuna at Śrīśaila in Kurnool district in Andhra Pradesh and Puṭārjuna in Tiruppuḍaimarudūr, Tirunelveli district, all three have the Arjuna (Terminalia arjuna or White Marudah) as their sacred tree; named after the epic hero because of the tree‟s curative value for coronary artery disease apart from its several other medicinal properties. 9 During Periyava‟s camp in Tiruviḍaimarudūr (16-2-1949 to 26-2-1949) Ati Rudram was performed; the narrator was 85 years of age in 2013 when this narrative was video-recorded. 10 a rope of crystal beads worn on the neck and used during japa to keep count 11 The narrator is referring to the severe restrictions imposed upon widows, refers to widows who generally wear coarse cloth, shave their heads and live a life of intense spiritual practice and discipline.

Volume 2/Article No.10/Anathandapuram Kamu Paatti 3 black and white – and I began to worship that. Meenamba, Nila, Valamba‟s mother, Dharmamba, Pattu, Pushpa, everyone would go for darsan. I would sit inside the house and cry the whole day bemoaning my fate and yearning for his darsan. Periyava had instructed that we read the Āryā Satakam12. Within five days I committed the whole of it to memory. I continued to perform pūja to the picture13. It was during this time that Periyava visited Anathandapuram.14 It was decided that the village as a whole would offer bhikṣa to Periyava and that this would be done at Ganesaiyer, Dharmabal‟s house. I yearned to offer bhikṣa to Periyava at our residence, and so I asked my mother if we could offer bhikṣa to Periyava at home. How could we manage it? My mother spoke to Anna Kutti who asked Aghoram about it. Aghoram told my mother that bhikṣavandana could be done if fifty rupees were paid. That would take care of the day‟s expenses. How could my mother manage so much of money? Just then, a friend who had given my mother some valuables and borrowed fifty rupees, came home, paid back the loan and took back the valuables. So my mother sent the money to Aghoram through Amma Kutti and the bhikṣa was arranged. Periyava came and the bhikṣavandana was done in a grand manner. Periyava was seated in the cattle shed and everyone was there, the bhikṣa was offered, but I stayed inside the inner apartment. My presence was not accepted there. But I could watch the pūja and I saw Periyava performing Candramouḷīśwara pūja fully. I was so anxious to get Periyava‟s blessings and was hoping that he would give me the pancākṣara mantra early next morning. My mother made a prayer and offered an umbrella and a lamp with the bhikṣa. She told Periyava, “Periyava must be gracious to my family. All must be well. My daughter wants to be blessed with darśan. She has been weeping all the time…” Krishnamurthi Sastri said, “In our caste it is not acceptable that such people come forward for darśan.” Periyava never liked the words “our caste”. He did not like listening to these words at any time. So he gestured to Krishnamurthi to leave and said, “She may come!” Rasamma, our neighbor escorted me and I went forward and prostrated to Periyava My father had gone to Kasi on a pilgrimage taking his mother – my grandmother – with him. Periyava said, when my father returned, “Is there anything else equal to your good fortune? You have taken to your mother to Kurukṣetra on the day of solar eclipse. Seshu took his mother on a pilgrimage to Kasi, by aeroplane, but he was not blessed with such good fortune. Yours is equal to what the five Pandava brothers got.” Having said all this, Periyava finally remarked, “So you do not go to Kasi after all!” When my father returned home and told us about it, my mother understood the implication of the words. My father being a simple man could neither understand what Periyava said nor give him a reply. She said Periyava had 12

ŚriMūka Pañcaśati: Lit.Five Hundred Hymns on Goddess Kāmākṣi; In five sections of 100verses each: Āryā Śatakam, Pādāravinda Śatakam, Mandasmita Śatakam, Katākṣa Śatakam, and Stuti Śatakam; Composed byŚri Mūka Śankara / Mūkha Kavi / lit. Dumb Poet, Śrī Mūkha Śankarendra Sarasvatī, approximately placed between398 A.D. and 437 A.D the 20th Ācarya of the Śri Kāñchi Kāmakoti Pītha. 13 The narrator is not narrating the events sequentially. 14 The section narrated in the beginning would sequentially fit in here.

In the Presence of the Divine 4 made such a remark because my father had not brought back Ganges water and offered it to Periyava. So my parents went to Thirukadaiyur15 and invited Periyava to come to Anathandapuram for bhikṣa on a somavāra amāvāsya16. Tiruvisainallur Sridhana Ayyāval17 invoked the Ganges in the well in his house and the holy river came surging up on that day. So that is how Periyava came to our village on an amāvāsya which fell in a Monday. His presence made the waters in our well sacred.” Periyava asked my mother, “Is the Ganges all for me?” when he came on Gangāvataraṇa day. With due chanting of Rudram and Chamakam18, the holy waters from the well, in the form of Ganges on that day, were poured in abhiseka over Periyava. Appakutti Sastri and all the others, about fifteen of them were there with Periyava on the day he visited our village. Each one of them was gifted with metal pot that held the consecrated waters – each pot could cook a quarter measure of rice - by my parents. Our Rajamani Mama told Periyava “Kamu swims in this well.” Periyava retorted, “How can anyone swim in this well? You can float in it.” It was during this visit that I prayed for pancākṣara and Periyava gave it to me. I was then twenty years of age. The adoption was done the following year… Chitrabhānu, Bahudānya, Vikrama, Pramodi, Vikroti19…. Yes, the following year. I began to live in Tiruvidaimarudur with Krishnamurthi and Vaitha, they were studying there. I spent my days keeping house, looking after these children, circumambulating the Aswatha tree and having Mahāliñgaswāmi‟s darśan. Soon after this I won the case and got all this wealth. “Could she speak in court?” Periyava asked.

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Amritaghateśwara Thirukkadaiyur/ Thirukadavūr (Thiru (Auspicious/ Śrī ) kada (ghata) vūr (place), 21 km East of Mayiladuthurai in Tamil Nadu India; Associated with Śiva as Mrityunjaya (Conqueror of Death), saving his child-devotee Markandeya from death and with the saint Abirami Bhattar, a devotee of the presiding goddess Abhirami, whose manifested miracles to proclaim his greatness; nearly 2000 years old, the temple has drawn paeans from the foremost of the Śaivite apostles. 16 Monday in the month of Karthika (November-December) coinciding with the last day of the waning fortnight 17 Sridhara Venkatesa Dīkṣitar (1635–1720), popularly known as Aiyyavāḷ, saint and composer of Thiruvisanallur village,of theTanjavur Maratha kingdom;a contemporary of Śri Bodhendra Sarasvatī and Sadāśiva Brahmendra; invoked the river Ganga which rose in the well in his house - Gangāvataraṇa - Karthika amāvāsya after a ten day celebration, when thousands of devotees assemble to take a dip in the holy waters; Śri Bodhendra Sarasvatī, Aiyyavāḷ and Śrī Marudanallur Sadguru Swamigalare remembered together for their propogation of chanting and singing of divine names as the most suitable spiritual regimen for these times. 18 The Śrī Rudram, also known as Śata Rudrīyam or Rudra Praśnam, occurs in Krṣna Yajur Veda in the Taithirīya samhita in the 4th and 7th chapters & has two parts - the Namakam (verses ending with nama) and the Chamakam (Verses ending with cha may) each with eleven sections, both chanted during abhiṣeka of Śivaliñga. Namakam is a prayer to Rudra to give up his avenging, fearful form and assume a peaceful form and bless the devotee & Chamakam is a listing out of the blessings to be got from Rudra and prays to Him to regulate and bless our life for a moment forgetting his anger. This too is in eleven parts. Rudra ekādasini, where after chanting Śrī Rudram, the 1st anuvāka of Chamakam is chanted, again after chanting Rudram the 2 nd anuvāka of Chamakam is chanted and so on till the 11th chanting of Rudram is followed by 11th anuvāka of Chamakam; in Laghu Rudram, Rudra ekadasin is repeated 11 times; In Mahā Rudram, Laghu Rudram is chanted 11 times & in Ati Rudram, Mahā Rudram is chanted 11 times. 19 Some of the Sanskrit names of 60 year calendar-cycle.

Volume 2/Article No.10/Anathandapuram Kamu Paatti 5 “Just as Draupadi who was dragged to the court was protected by Krishna, so too I was protected by Periyava. I have come out of the ordeal. If I win the case I shall offer 15 kalam20 of rice grain to Periyava, if I lose the case, I pray that I may be blessed to live peacefully in Govindapuram21 chanting Ramanāma and taking gruel once a day.” I did win and so offered fifty kalams of rice grain to the Maṭha, ten for Periyava‟s bhikṣa and five for the Candramouḷīśwara pūja. Mayavaram Kunjitapadam took care of the case for me. (What about the honey-gooseberry?) Yes, honey-gooseberry. It was at Mangudi. Nayampadi Pillai offered four large measures of the big sized gooseberry, each so big and fine, you cannot see such a variety ever again. Periyava was sitting in the verandah and sent for me. “Do you know how to preserve gooseberry in honey?” “I can learn if I am told”, I replied. Periyava called Melur Mama and instructed him to tell me the recipe. It has to be done like this. You have to take the thorn from the bamboo bush – iron nails should not be used – and pierce the gooseberry, each one of them. Then the fruit must be soaked in honey. The honey separates into a thin liquid. This must be strained and poured away. The gooseberry should be dried in the sun. Then again the gooseberry should be soaked in fresh honey. Now the drying process starts after soaking it in honey for several days. Each day it is dried in the sun and poured back into the honey in the evening, till it absorbs all the honey, till it turns black like jāmun fruit and is dry. So we brought back the gooseberry home to prepare it. Now we needed honey. Rasamma said, “I shall give a hundred rupees, you give another hundred and we shall send Srinivasan to get the honey.” When Srinivasan went for honey, a man was sitting there with a big tin of fresh honey as if he were waiting for him. “Do you want to buy honey”, he seems to have asked! So the gooseberry was prepared just as I was instructed. It filled a huge jar. Periyava was camping nearby in the Zamin – that was near Dharmapuram – what was the Zamin called....? He was seated in the garden. He told Narayanaswami to tell Janaki to fetch the gooseberry preserve. So it was put in a cart and taken to Periyava who looked at it and said that it was done perfectly and added, “Take it back home and fetch it when I ask for it.” Later when Periyava went to Kanchipuram he asked for it and it was taken there and handed over to him. Unless he asks for something himself and wills to accept it, it is not possible for you to make an offering to him. It is only 20

Roughly 8 large measure is a kalam in the Tamil table of grain measurement A village near Kumbakonam, wherein is located the adiṣtānam Śri Bhagavannāma Bodhendra Sarasvatī, the 60th Pontiff of the Kāmakoṭi Piṭha who established and spread the path of Nāma samkīrtana or chanting and singing the names of the Lord as a means to salvation. 21

In the Presence of the Divine 6 by his grace that you can give him something. This is how we offered Periyava puffed ricegrain. It is only here in Anathandapuram that rice grain was cleaned and roasted so well to make puffed rice-grain for Periyava‟s bikhṣa … nowhere else. The grain would be cleaned once and then gain for the second time, then separated to cull out full grain that was not broken at the tip. Then slow roasted and puffed.Two sacks would be readied and stacked in the hall here. You must admit Thirumalam‟s role… How promptly he would come, once in every two months. Periyava would say ‘danda and pinda’22 because Janakiramaiyer would supply the danda at regular intervals. Puffed rice-grain would be sent from here for nourishment. So Periyava would jocularly say that he got this danda for his asceticism and food to sustain his „pinda‟. Once it so happened that the stock of puffed rice-grain had almost got over. Srikantan was very worried. If Periyava was told that there was no puffed rice-grain then he would give it up altogether. He will never again touch it. That was when two bags of puffed rice-grain were taken to be offered for his bhikṣa. Srikantan did not want it to be brought into the Maṭha, in front of Periyava. He did not want Periyava to know of it. So it was carried in through the back door. It was Periyava himself who had arranged for the puffed-rice to be brought especially that day, after all! That day about thirty Vedic scholars from Andhra had come there. They were chanting the Veda, literally shaking the place with their voices. Periyava wanted large leaf-cups to be made! “Rinse puffed rice-grain and put it into a big vessel. Add some milk and curd. Spice it with chopped cucumber, ginger and raw mango pieces. Saute green chillies and make a chutney of it to serve as a side dish!” So the puffed rice-grain and green chilli chutney were served to the Vedic scholars. Now is it possible for us to feed so many Vedic scholars? 23 [What about sajātīyam and vijātīyam?] That! You have to explain the terms correctly. One day a learned Śāstri was explaining these terms. He went on and on for three hours. A certain gentleman had come to explain how sugar was refined, another had come to explain how silk thread was prepared and yet another had come to explain how honey was extracted. They were, all three of them, waiting for their turn. The Śāstri seemed determined not to let go off the chance to discourse. He went on and on. His lecture seemed endless. Finally Periyava said, “You have spoken for three hours. I have understood what you have said, but these people have not. What did you wish to say – 22

The staff held by the ascetic; Pinda is a piece/portion of some thing; refers to the body as part of the divine whole; also refers to the food offerings of balls of cooked-rice and barley flour mixed with ghee and black sesame seeds offered to ancestors during funeral rites made to the dead; hence both the body and its sustenance are referred to as „pinda‟ here, with special significance since Periyava is talking of his body, and its food, as an ascetic; pinda is offered only to the dead; food given to the living is not referred to as pinda; here Periyava is referring to his bhikṣa. 23 Vaidiks prefer to cook their own meal or accept a cooked meal only if especially cooked for them following all the prescribed injunctions of orthodoxy

Volume 2/Article No.10/Anathandapuram Kamu Paatti 7 you wished to explain the terms ‘sajātīyam’ and ‘vijātīyam’.24 Let us say that there is a tree. The leaf, flower and fruit, are all parts of the tree. The leaves are all green. This is „sajātīyam‟. Beneath the tree is an idol of Rama, green in colour and on the branch of the tree is a parrot which is also green in colour. Now the green of the leaf which is part of the tree is sajātīyam, the green of the parrot, apart from the tree is vijātīyam and the green idol of Rama which of course stands for Iśwara, which means, that the greenness or source is one but differentiation occurs in functional identity. In kārana or the root cause, there is oneness and in kārya or function there is differentiation25. Is this what you wish to explain?” The Śāstri fell down flat in prostration. Then the three gentlemen who were waiting began to explain their work.The gentleman who had come to explain how sugar was refined said, “We heard that Periyava advises that refined sugar should not be used. We refine the sugar with chemicals, not with cattle-bone as was popularly misunderstood,” and went on to elaborately explain the process. At the end of it Periyava accepted it and was convinced. The gentlemen who explained the process of honey extraction next presented his case. “How do you do it?” Periyava asked. “Do you pour hot water on the bees?” “We use a machine nowadays. The bees are allowed to fly away and then the honey is taken”, said the gentleman. His explanation was also satisfying to Periyava, but no matter how earnestly the gentleman who spoke about preparing silk presented his case, Periyava did not accept it. The gentleman said the silk-worms that were alive were all let off and only the dead ones were used to prepared silk thread, and the thread thus taken was known as „ahimsa silk‟26. But Periyava said, “A time will come when silk becomes dear. It cannot be accepted.” Then the incident at Choolaimedu. Must I narrate that also? [Yes] That was in the year when „Maadi Mama‟27died. It was in Choolaimedu, at Thiagaraja‟s house. You know Periyava would allot a hut for us 28. Janaki was put up in a hut. She wanted to offer bhikṣa, but Periyava said, “A year has not ended after Maadi Mama‟s death. So you cannot offer bhikṣavandana.29 “You may perform padapūja” said Periyava. So Janaki procured almonds and three hundred roses. She called me and told me to take care of the almond halwa. So I was busy making it. Many devotees who had come for 24

Sameness and difference The essence of Advaita 26 Lit. non-violent silk 27 lit. „the upstairs uncle‟ 28 Periyava always ensured that thatched huts were put up for devotees such as this narrator so that they could lodge safely when they came for darśan and also practice their spiritual regimen without disturbance 29 For one year following the death of a member of the family, monthly rites are performed for the dead and visits and ceremonial worship at temples as well as festivities are eschewed; they are resumed after the first annual ceremony for the dead person is held 25

In the Presence of the Divine 8 darśan had left, seven or eight of them had stayed back. That was when Thiagarajan came forward and prostrating to Periyava said, “I am going to write the Railway exams” it is called IRS, isn‟t it – Periyava must be gracious and bless me that I pass in the first division scoring hundred marks!” Periyava asked in reply “Who are you?” Thiagarajan replied he was from Mozhaiyur. Periyava told Janaki “Go and send her here.” I was busy stirring the halwa. So when I got the command I washed my hands and hurried to Periyava‟s presence. The book wrongly says that I came washing my hands after my meal! Periyava pointed Thiagu to me and asked me who he was. “He says he is from Mozhaiyur,” Periyava said. I did not know who the young man was. “So you too don‟t know him…” said Periyava “He is Lakshmi‟s son” I ventured. “How do you say that?” “He resembles his elder sister and mother”, I replied. “Do you know who this is?” Periyava asked Thiagarajan and he admitted that he did not know me. “The daughter of Poorna‟s house.” “I have heard that being mentioned” said Thiagarajan. “Look, she gets hundred marks. If you too reply precisely you will also get a hundred marks and my blessings” He was Vishnupuram‟s wife‟s sister‟s son. [The incident about piling fire-wood on someone who was asleep?] That happened in Kuttalam. A grand paṭṭinapravesa30 took place. When it was over Periyava went in towards the thatched shed for his morning ablutions. The man who fetched water or him was fast asleep in the inner courtyard, besides the firewood and dried cow-dung cakes. Periyava called out to him and then when he saw the man lying fast asleep placed firewood on all sides as if the man were sleeping on a cot and then taking some cow-dung cakes neatly arranged them all over the man, covering even his face, and went away. Periyava fetched the water himself. Later when the man woke up and realizing the state he was in, he was enraged. He gave vent to his fury.

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During visits, ceremonial welcome and reception by townsfolk when Periyava is taken around the main roads in a palanquin in the evening/night; done in the early years

Volume 2/Article No.10/Anathandapuram Kamu Paatti 9 “Who did this? Just you wait… I won‟t let go of him. Let me tell Periyava. I‟ll finish off the fellow.” He went straight up to Periyava and submitted his complaint barely disguising his anger. Periyava listened to him and then asked, “What if I had done it?” “Periyava will not do such a thing…” “I did. You see, you were so tired and were in such deep sleep. Besides the sun was beginning to fall upon your face. I covered you up with the cow-dung cakes and firewood because no one would look for you there and disturb you…” The man went away quite satisfied… he was that boy… you know those two sisters elder to Venkataraman, son of one of the sisters. There was another man called Kottangadu. He too would carry water for Periyava. Periyava would call out to him “Kottangadu… Kottangadu…” It was Krishna all over again. These scenes of prank are always fresh in the mind. [What about the time when coins appeared on a plate?] Oh! That was in Chinna Kanchipuram. Periyava asked Rajamani Mama, “Do you the seven kinds of Nāttai?”. “I know two. Nāttai and Gambhīra Nattai…”31 “Not that, the other seven. Bhāgavata Nāttai Kūthu Nāttai, Nātaka Nāttai, Bhajana Nāttai. . .” Periyava listed out all the seven kinds of Nāttai and sat smiling quietly. Rajamani Mama, Chellamma and I were there. A Pitambharam32 arrived. A doctor couple had brought their daughter who was refusing to get married “You must get married” said Periyava. “No!” “Why not?” “If I say I will not, I just won‟t!” “If I say you must, you should” retorted Periyava in the same tone. Shortly afterwards the girl‟s marriage was fixed. That was what was interesting about the incident. Then this Pitambaram. He claimed be could turn a piece of thread into a snake. Periyava said “Look here, you have come for money. You will get it. Take it and leave us. We are not interested in your tricks. We know them all.” The man would not budge. Then Periyava told Chellamma to fetch an empty plate. Then she was asked to fetch a piece of cloth and cover it there. She did so. “Now remove the cloth”, 31 32

Rāgās in Carnātic music Rich upper garment; colloquially, refers to wandering magicians who dressed gaudily

In the Presence of the Divine 10 said Periyava and when Chellamma removed the piece of cloth, there were coins, kumkum, vibhūti, flowers and other such things on the plate. Periyava instructed Chellamma to drop the one rupee coins into the hundi33 at the temple. The other things were distributed to us. “Go and get the money you want and go away” Periyava told the man who left in a daze. “We are not interested in your snakes and lizards…” We cannot speak of Periyava once and be done with it. The mind pivots around his memory alone, it know nothing else.

At Thenampakkam thirty two Brahmins were invited34 and after their meal one by one they came forward and Periyava made kind enquiries of them. It was during Guru arādhana. Everyone had come up and received Periyava‟s blessings. Finally the last one came. Periyava must have known that the gentlemen had lost his father not long ago and that his mother still dressed her hair as before. “Are your parents well?” “Father is no more…” “How is your mother? Is she sakeśi?35 “Yes” said the Brahmin in a sinking tone. At once Periyava said “Fetch thirty-two milk cows!” Thirty two milk cows were brought from the Matha. “Fetch white silk cloth for the cows” said Periyava and soon each cow had a piece of white silk on it. “Fetch silver for the hooves and gold for the horns”, said Periyava and in no time silver and gold also was brought and placed before him. Periyava instructed that a full meal, just like the one offered to the Brahmins during arādhana be prepared. Thirty two leaves were spread and the cows fed with the meal laid out in the leaves. “Drop the leaves in the pond” said Periyava. If Periyava is angry, neither the celestial king Indira or the Moon-God Chandra can go near him. What can those such as us do? We can only prostrate to him, we cannot do anything else.

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Box for offerings Ceremonial meal offered to Brahmins during the annual celebrations of the day of passing of the Pontiff‟s master who are in that context known as „ārādhana Brahmins‟ 35 Lit. with hair 34

Volume 2/Article No.10/Anathandapuram Kamu Paatti 11 Once Periyava spotted Vittlur Paatti standing at a distance and said “Is that Vittlur Paatti? Is she planning to grow her hair?” “No” said the person who was besides Periyava. “If she shaves her head then she will not be able to have darśan on the same day. She does not want to miss darśan even for a day.” “She may shave her head and see me from a distance”, said Periyava.

When Varalakshmi‟s wedding was fixed money was needed. “How much is necessary?” asked Periyava “One lakh if it is a wedding held in a worldly manner. It will cost less if it is done in a Vaidik manner” I said “What is a worldly kind of celebration and what is a Vaidik wedding?” asked Periyava. “A worldly celebration will have all sorts of fanfare and display of fireworks and a band and a music concert and so on. A Vaidik marriage includes only the essential rituals, there is no fanfare involved it seems”, I replied. Meenamba of Appu Vadhyar‟s house said later “You are the only one who replies to Periyava‟s questions so well.” One has to be careful when conversing with Periyava. You can even speak in court, not in Periyava‟s presence. How can one describe what a lavish wedding means to Periyava? Can you tell him people drink soda and so on? So I said there is a music concert and band and so on and left it at that.

At Ilayathangudi, that was when a sadas was held36, the pādapūja had been filmed and Periyava watched it. It was very late at night, only one or two people were around. We had gone as a big group. Everyone had fallen asleep. I was awake and heard the voice in the tape from outside the room, where I was seated. Periyava bathed and came for the pūja, saying “Who is here? “Kamu is here…” Then he asked a gentleman who had been fast asleep what he thought of the tape. What could the poor man say? He could reply only if he had seen or heard the tape after all. “And you?”, Periyava asked me. “I heard it from here”, I said. Periyava knew every yoga to perfection. Once he sat in samādhi37 with his eyes this big, open so wide – you can show such a thing through trick photography in the cinema. It is not possible in real life for the eyes to become like that. Nothing shook Periyava out of

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the first ever Akhila Bhārata Āgama Śilpa Kalādi Sadas convened by Periyava in 1962 the state of oneness with the divine

In the Presence of the Divine 12 samādhi. Finally two boys came and the chanting was like a heavy down pour of Jaṭa and Ghana. It was only after that Periyava slowly returned to earthly consciousness. We went to Satara for darsan, Saraswathi from the Kurichi family, Panchapakesaiyer and I, the three of us. On the way we went for Pudu Periyava‟s darśan. He was camping in Thiruvottiyur in Chennai. “When you go to Maha Periyava, cry,” said Pudu Periyava. “If you cry and tell him that he must come back to the Matha, he will”, he said, and gave us prasāda. When we reached Pune, the gentleman in telephone office, told us that no one was allowed to stay in Maha Periyava‟s camp. All the way from Pune to Satara I cried, while we rode in the bus. Pudu Periyava‟s words became true after all and I cried so much. We had gone such a long distance and if we were not going to be allowed to stay, what were we to do? Finally we reached Satara. Vanchi Mama found us a room and we were to stay there reading Devi Mahātmyam38. Periyava was in kāṣta mouna, not so much as a gesture. M.S. Subbulakshmi came to offer the Annamayya39 songs which she had then recorded. She waited for three days and then she handed over the tapes there and left saying “When Periyava begins to talk, inform me.” Thiagarajan who later took sanyās, that is Kodaikal Swami, was there. Then there was another boy who came there, Vasanthan, who had passed Jaṭa and Ghana by the time he was sixteen years of age. Chidambaram, another Vedic scholar came too. Through some gestures Vasanthan was instructed to perform Sarasvatī pūja40. Some devotees from Bombay had come and they were told to cook for a hundred people. Sarasvatī pūja was celebrated in a grand manner. The next day was Vijayadasami41. I suddenly remembered Pudu Periyava‟s words. So I said, “Periyava must come back to the Maṭha. Who is to take care of everything but for Periyava? Can the rice come to a boil without the cooking pot?” There was a gentleman, an auditor, there who said “Who is this who is talking to Periyava so freely?” He insisted that we visit his residence. Then Periyava came to Kurnool42 and then eventually returned to the Matha, not because I requested him to, it was his will. [What about ‘solren sākku’?]

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The Purāṇa on the deeds and incarnations of the Divine Mother Taḷḷapāka Annamācārya /Annamayya (1408 –1503); a 15th-century saint who composed songs called sankīrtanās in lucid and simple Telugu and in Sanskrit in praise of the presiding deity at Tirumala-Tirupati, Lord Venkateswara. 40 Falls on the 9th day of the waxing moon phase that immediately follows Mahālaya Amavāsya or the last day of waning moon in the month of Aświn (Sept-Oct) when Śaradā Navarātri / MahāNavarātri is celebrated;the other three Navarātri celebrations are ĀṣādaNavarātri / Guhya Navarātri: July-August; Vasanta Navarātri celebrated in spring (March-April) and Vanni / Vana Navarātri celebrated in the open, under a tree (Nov-Dec 41 Lit.Tenth day of Victory; following Sarasvatī pūja and considered auspicious to start learning 42 On 21-6-1983 39

Volume 2/Article No.10/Anathandapuram Kamu Paatti 13 That was here somewhere. Gudalur Sastri43 was expounding the Bhāgavata. It was almost six in the evening and there was no sign of him coming to a finish. Periyava pointed to a bundle of sacks piled in front of them at a distance. “So you are going on and on, not letting go of the chance!” said Periyava punning on the words 44 and told the gentleman to get up, winding up his lecture.

It seems there is an underground place in Delhi.45 When Periyava was in Delhi, he told Nageswaran, “Sit here at the entrance and wait quietly. Don‟t be frightened.” In a short while as soon as Periyava uttered a mantra, his limbs became disjointed and his body was lying in pieces, hands here, head there, legs there and so on. Ganesan was terrified, but sat still because Periyava had told him to. After some time his limbs joined together and Periyava got up and asked Ganesan “What did you see?” Ganesan described what he had seen. Periyava said, “That is the power of a particular mantra” and at once went to the Yamuna, consigned the mantra to the waters and came back after a dip in the river.

Periyava was in the middle of the Bhāṣya pāṭha, with Vanchi Mama and a few others. Ganesan came with Appulu and Ramachandraiyer, half-way through. No sooner did Periyava sight them he said, “Ganesa! I am waiting for you. Sit down. I am going to tell you a story.” „Once upon a time there was a king. He grew a rose garden for his queen. But everyday celestials would come and take away the flowers. The queen cried in disappointment because she did not get any. So the king called the guards and said “if you don‟t catch the culprit by tomorrow you will lose your head” said the king. What could the guard do? He needed to save his life. So he caught a boy who stammered and could not speak well, stuffed some rose flowers into his mouth, thrust a flower basket into his hands and pushed the boy into a caged cart, closed it shut and handed him over to the king. „What have you got to say?‟ asked the King „What am I to say‟, said the boy. „I was going my way and these men caught me. They pushed me into this trap, stuffed rose flowers into my mouth and thrust this flower basket into my hands. This is all I know!‟ Now let me tell you another story. There was once a priest at a Siva temple. One day he had to visit relatives in another village. So he told his little son to worship the Sivalinga at the temple the next day and left on 43

The revered Gudalur Brahmaśrī Ramakrishna Sastrigal; exponent on Vedas, Dharma Śastrās, Purāṇās, Mantra and Yantra Śastrās. 44 In Tamiḻ ‘sākku’; also means opportunity; Periyava is punning on the word 45 The place is not recalled correctly

In the Presence of the Divine 14 his visit. The boy went to the temple and saw that the dhoti used to drape on the sivalinga was drying above it. The boy looked upon the sivalinga as the Lord himself. So not wanting to climb on it directly, he put a banana peel on the sivalinga and then put his foot upon it. He slipped and went crashing down. When his father came home the boy told him all about it. The father said, „Let the village folk think that it is the Lord, for us it is but a stone after all to be washed!‟ “Now if you bring these people in the middle of the Bhāṣya pāṭha what sense will it make to them?” asked Periyava. It is better that they listen to a few tales, I thought,” said Periyava to Ramadurai.

One could go on talking about Periyava‟s glory. I have but one prayer now. I was widowed when I was sixteen. All these years of my life I have spent in thoughts of Periyava, taking sole refuge in him. My only prayer is that my end comes well, so that I do not trouble anyone. I pray that I reach his divine feet when my end comes. That is all I want. chintyā avyaktarupāya nirgunaya guṇātmane samasta jagadādharamūrtaye Brahmaṇe namaḩ46. In Thanjavur, Periyava and Pudu Periyava were coming in a grand procession. There were two sets of nādaswaram artists playing that day. You can never again hear such divine music. It was as if music had manifested itself for Periyava. What with the nādaswaram and the tavil and all that! I followed the procession moving this way and that so that I could see Periyava. Periyava said, “Kamu is coming in procession with music and fanfare!” [The narrator laughs in joy.] ***************************************************************************

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Meditating on the one without attributes, without qualities and with qualities On the one that is the support of all creation, the Brahman, I salute.