Table&of&Contents Bird's'eye'view Introduc2on You Core'values "Brand" Experience Hobbies'and'interests Profession Friends Stories Physical Data'Management Evernote Calendar Trello Tinder Account New'signup Recycle Name Age Pictures Profile'text Likes Mutual'friends Hooks The'dynamics'of'user'mass Phone'clients Official Third'party Basic'opera2on
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SeQngs Swipe'leR Swipe'right Blocking Err'to'the'right The'Right'Way(tm) How'many'matches Tinder'lists BlueStacks Speed'of'typing Loca2on'spoofing Auto'clicker Polariza2on Snapchat Data'mining Who'are'you? Targets Connec2ng Phone'clients Save'hacks Preloading'pictures GeQng'nudes Sending'nudes Concepts The'meaning'of'your'communica2on'is'the'response'you'get Making'it'easy Strings'aXached Ask'and'you'shall'receive AXen2on Momentum Screening Dominance Overextension Frac2ona2on 1
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Investment Gradual'build AXrac2on'vs'ra2onaliza2on Compliance'ladder Statement'of'intent Expecta2ons'drive'percep2on Commitment'and'consistency Hurdles Expecta2ons Leaving'on'a'high S2gma2za2on Priming AXainability Availability Scarcity Focus'on'not'making'mistakes Polariza2on Trust Simmering Chunking Inten2on Responsibility'for'the'interac2on Communica2on Techniques Rou2nes Ini2a2on Reviving'dead'conversa2ons Qualifica2on SeQng'up'a'meet Crea2ve'misinterpreta2on Humor Girl'code'language Ambiguity Meta'communica2on 2
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Canned'situa2onals Open'loops Sexual'seeding Liberators Prohibitors Sexualizing'an'interac2on'aRer'a'mee2ng Meta Challenges Why'are'you'on'Tinder? Have'you'met'anyone'from'Tinder? What'are'you'looking'for? Scripts The'Test More'scripts? Rapport Smileys Same'language Same'chunk'size Same'messaging'frequency Momentum'over'rapport Pacing The'power'of'silence/pauses Avoid'silence'rage Silence'and'tension Winky'smiley Best'2me'for'communica2on Blocking'and'being'blocked Mistakes People'don't'communicate'on'Tinder! Fishing'for'commonali2es'and'burning'through'material Don't'self'deprecate Don't'embellish Don't'be'sad Self'sabotage 3
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The'many'faces'of'tension'release Logis2cal'issues Feeling'of'self'worth Funnelling SeQng'up'a'funnel Trello'extensions Tinder'lists Why'you'funnel What's'problema2c'for'you Who's'next What'to'do The'stages'of'the'funnel Prospect Stale Communica2on Loose'mee2ng Date Met Done Stable Problema2c Discarded Backlog Work Daily'system Daily'workload How'much'2me'do'you'have? Work'in'groups Working'with'the'funnel Troubleshoo2ng'using'the'funnel Understanding'funnel'transfer Progression'model So'far You 4
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When'to'use'Tinder'and'when'to'use'Snapchat Trans'medium'branching Mee2ng'in'real'life Closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and'product Prepara2on The'dates Why'da2ng'is'awesome What'she'll'be'looking'for'on'a'date The'many'formats'of'dates Logis2cs Improving'skill'is'shortening'(2me'in'the)'pipeline Beginner'game Intermediate'game Advanced'game Appendix iGNITE'Mobile'Da2ng'Website General'photography'2ps Processing Ethics Reports Resources SeQng'up'a'group Reviews
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Supposedly'from'an'exchange'between'aspiring'photographer'Karsh'and' pioneer'Steichen,'Steichen'being'asked'whether'taking'successful'pictures'was' aXributable'to'luck'promptly'responded: Yes,%it%is.%But%have%you%no1ced%how%that%luck%happens%to%the%same% photographers%over%and%over%again? I'want'luck'to'happen'to'you'over'and'over'again.'Let's'get'lucky.
Bird’s&eye&view I'don't'want'to'waste'your'2me.'That's'why'I've'included'this'birds'eye'view'to' quickly'troubleshoot'your'problem.'Also,'it'can'be'considered'a'sort'of'guide'to' the'rest'of'the'book. Problem:'You're'not'geQng'matches'on'Tinder. Solu9on:'Get'beXer'pictures.'Revise'your'profile'text.'Split'test'your'pictures.' Try'with'fewer'photos.'Focus'on'your'calling'card.'Implement'beXer'hooks.' Implement'a'system'based'on'BlueStacks. Problem:'You're'exhaus2ng'your'Tinder'matches'by'grinding'conversa2ons'to'a' halt.' Solu9on:'Get'beXer'pictures.'Harness'momentum.'Do'controlled' overextension.'S2ck'to'scripts.'Learn'how'to'make'her'invest. Problem:'You're'exhaus2ng'your'Tinder'matches'without'them'wan2ng'to' meet'up. Solu9on:'Learn'to'set'up'a'meet.'Learn'how'to'make'her'invest.'Progress'from' Tinder'to'Snapchat.'Improve'your'skills'working'with'the'funnel.'Make'sure'you' have'2me'to'meet'when'you'ini2ate'conversa2ons. Problem:'You'meet'people,'but'fail'to'progress'it'to'something'sexual. Solu9on:''Become'a'beXer'you.'Look'at'ways'to'sexualize'a'rela2onship.'Learn' how'to'do'priming.'Use'girl'code'language.'Learn'how'to'sexualize'an' interac2on'aRer'a'mee2ng.'Learn'how'to'make'statement'of'intent.'Work'on' closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and'product. Problem:'When'mee2ng,'the'communica2on'is'largely'sexual,'but'sex'never' seems'to'happen. Solu9on:'Look'at'extrac2on'rou2nes.'Learn'how'to'balance'aXrac2on'and' ra2onaliza2on.'Learn'how'to'built'a'compliance'ladder.'Make'sure'you'are' highly'aXainable'and'available.'Learn'to'screen'and'be'dominant'facegtogface.
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Problem:'People'you'have'an'online'chemistry'with'seem'put'off'by'you'in' person. Solu9on:'Become'a'beXer'you.'Work'on'closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and' product.'Show'up'aXrac2ve. Problem:'You'are'able'to'get'girls'into'bed,'but'they’re'not'the'kind'you'want' and'it'is'2me'consuming. Solu9on:'Learn'what'funnel'transfer'means.'Look'at'the'funnel'systema2cally' and'troubleshoot'every'part'of'it.'Do'controlled'overextension. There'are'many'parts'that'2e'into'the'different'areas,'but'these'are'good' star2ng'points'if'you’re'in'a'hurry.'I'do'recommend'you'read'the'whole'text,' but'this'should'help'you'get'started'quickly.
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Introduc9on The'world'is'changing'rapidly'as'it'responds'to'new'technology'and'new'ways' of'communica2on.'The'da2ng'world'is'no'excep2on. One'of'the'brightest'stars'today’s'da2ng'heaven'is'the'fairly'recent'Tinder;'an' app'that'creates'a'profile'with'data'from'your'Facebook'account'and'connects' it'to'a'rapid'stream'of'other'accounts,'allowing'you'to'communicate'if'there'is' a'mutual'interest.'Tinder'will'be'one'of'the'main'focuses'of'this'book.' Snapchat'allows'you'to'communicate'with'a'number'of'users'on'a'daygtogday' basis,'without'necessarily'engaging'in'stressful'(or'meaningful)'conversa2ons. We'll'see'how'to'use'Tinder'and'Snapchat'separately'and'effec2vely'and'we'll' show'how'the'two'services'can'be'used'together'for'a'leveraged'approach'for' mee2ng'and'communica2ng. I’ll'do'my'best'to'be'direct'when'wri2ng'this'book.'It'is'wriXen'mainly'for'men,' although'I'suppose'women'could'have'some'benefit'from'it—if'nothing'else'to' understand'some'of'the'techniques'men'might'employ'on'these'services.'But' since'I'am'a'sexually'ac2ve'male'addressing'other'males'looking'for'sexual' rela2onships'with'women,'I'see'no'reason'to'embellish'my'wording.'You’ll'see' usage'of'the'fgword'in'this'book,'and'some'of'the'techniques'presented'might' seem'misogynis2c.'I'hope'it'is'clear'to'everyone'that'these'techniques'are' presented'because'they'are'effec2ve,'and'that'the'effec2veness'of'these' techniques'is'the'value'I'wish'to'provide'to'you'with'through'this'book.'I' recommend'you'align'your'use'of'the'material'presented'here'with'your'own' personal,'ethical'compass;'you'are'responsible'for'your'own'ac2ons.'I'also' hope'the'majority'of'my'readers'are'mature'enough'to'understand'the' difference'between'right'and'wrong. With'that'out'of'the'way,'let’s'get'you'guys'laid.
About&the&changes&in&technology Technology'seemingly'changes'by'the'minute'and'becomes'increasingly' powerful.'GPS'in'most'smart'devices'has'made'loca2on'based'services' ubiquitous.'Cameras'on'most'connected'devices'allow'us'to'communicate'faceg togface.
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While'there'is'another'layer'of'humanity'added'through'these'technologies,' allowing'you'to'see'people'who'aren't'really'there,'there'is'also'a' dehumaniza2on'of'communica2on.'A'lot'of'interpersonal'communica2on'is' simply'not'facegtogface'anymore.' This'is'a'sad'trend,'because'it'removes'closeness'between'physical'beings'of' flesh'and'blood.'In'this'book'we'll'try'to'u2lize'technology'to'get'back'to' exchanging'physical'warmth'and'hopefully'some'bodily'fluids.
How&does&this&change&everything?
I’ve'sub2tled'this'book'“From'spark'to'flame'to'inferno,”'and'my'inten2ons'are' to'take'you'through'these'steps.'You'are'going'to'learn'how'to'create'sparks' with'people'while's2ll'giving'away'very'liXle'informa2on.'This'spark'can'then' be'kindled'into'a'flame,'where'passion'and'desire'can'grow.'I’ll'also'make'this' whole'process'infinitely'repeatable,'so'you’ll'find'yourself'amongst'so'many' flames'that'it'is'a'proverbial'inferno. To'make'this'material'easy'to'understand,'I’ve'sprinkled'it'with'examples'and' stepgbygstep'guides.'Every'once'in'a'while,'I'll'do'a'deep'dive'and'share'my' thoughts'about'why'a'technique'works.'It'is'not'necessary'to'understand'these' theories'to'make'the'techniques'work,'so'feel'free'to'skip'the'explana2ons'as' you'read.
Change&from&online&to&mobile There'are'huge'differences'between'online'(Internet'based)'and'mobile'da2ng' services'and'between'the'opportuni2es'each'provide.'Mobile'brings'an' immediacy'to'the'equa2on'that'Internet'based'da2ng'has'a'hard'2me' compe2ng'against.'There'is'no'longer'a'need'to'make'elaborate,'preg constructed'and'sta2c'online'profiles'to'present'yourself.'Mobile'services'now' provide'an'itera2ve'way'to'get'to'know'people'and'you'are'given'more'control' over'each'step. There'is'no'point'in'filling'out'tedious'matching'quizzes'as'they'seldom'really' work'anyway.'Instead,'try'to'just'meet'up'with'people'and'see'if'it'"clicks.” Mobile'service'providers'compete'in'an'industry'that'is'evergchanging.''Both' 10
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Tinder'and'Snapchat'may'change'the'way'their'services'work'without'giving' you'(or'me)'no2ce.''These'changes'will'affect'the'workings'of'the'most' technical'and'specific'2ps.''You'may'also'find'that'some'of'the'advice'in'this' book'is'seasonal. Most'of'the'concepts'presented'are'2meless,'and'once'you'grasp'them,'they' should'apply'to'current'and'future'versions'of'da2ng'apps'as'well'as'real'life' situa2ons. People'tend'occasionally'to'refer'to'the'systema2c'breakdown'and'analysis'of' the'interac2on'with'the'other'sex'as'game.'We'll'use'this'term'sparingly'in'this' book,'but'a'lot'of'this'material'is'obviously'inspired'by'the'pickup'community' and'game'in'general.'I'll'try'to'shy'away'from'using'pickup'lingo,'but'whenever' it'makes'sense,'I'll'try'to'clarify'what'the'different'terms'mean. Let's'quickly'take'a'bird's'eye'look'at'the'way'the'book'is'outlined. If'I'was'to'explain'the'“secret”'of'the'material'presented'in'this'book,'or'the' formula'if'you'will,'it'would'look'something'like'this: Volume'g>'Exposure'g>'Experience'g>'Success Expose'yourself'to'enough'situa2ons'to'test'and'refine'your'techniques;'gather' experience'and'harvest'success.'It'sounds'simple,'and'it'is.''It's'a'lot'of'work,' but'it'is'simple'work. A'lot'of'products'expect'you'to'work,'but'unfortunately,'they'don't'provide'a' clear'path'for'progression'or'a'means'for'self'correc2on.''I'will'try'to'make'it' clear'when'and'where'each'technique'can'be'used.''When'things'aren't' working,'I'll'suggest'correc2ons. The'material'also'differs'in'that'it'tries'to'minimize'the'amount'of'pain'you’ll'be' subjected'to.'I’m'no'fan'of'pain'myself,'and'I'firmly'believe'that'if'you'feel'pain,' it’s'your'body’s'way'of'telling'you'that'you’re'doing'something'wrong.'There'is' 11
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no'“no%pain,%no%gain”'in'this'book,'because'it’s'not'true.'I'know'that'you'will' shy'away'from'doing'work'that'is'painful.'Minimizing'the'amount'of'pain'is' therefore'a'way'to'maximize'the'chance'that'you’ll'actually'do'the'work. But'let’s'start'by'looking'at'how'this'book'is'organised,'and'the'material'that' will'be'presented.' We'll'start'off'by'looking'at'the'different'services.'They'are'really'preXy' straighuorward'to'use,'but's2ll,'you'might'have'missed'a'thing'or'two'about' them. We'll'con2nue'by'looking'at'the'product.'This'is'you,'and'it'is'a'thing'of'beauty' and'constant'change.'Improving'the'product'will'make'everything'easier'for' you,'not'only'for'Tinder'and'Snapchat,'but'for'dealing'with'members'of'the' opposite'sex'in'general.'It'might'seem'like'an'unnecessary'thing'to'cover'in'the' context'of'Tinder'and'Snapchat,'but'at'least'do'your'self'the'favour'of' skimming'this'sec2on. We’ll'move'on'to'look'at'the'concepts'that'drive'the'interac2ons'and' ul2mately'your'success.'These'concepts'are'largely'universal,'and'also'translate' to'other'kinds'of'“game”.'Reading'this'sec2on'is'also'recommended,'as'it'will' build'a'founda2on'to'build'on. Then'we’ll'take'the'concepts'and'dis2ll'them'into'concrete'techniques.'These' are'prac2cal'applica2ons'of'the'concepts,'and'are'oRen'described'in'terms'of' rou9nes;'prac2cal,'tried'and'tested'examples'of'the'techniques'that'can'be' employed'right'away.' The'techniques'will'then'be'put'into'a'framework'of'data'mining'and' funnelling.'This'is'where'you'gather'your'prospects'and'decide'which' techniques'to'employ'at'which'2mes.'You'will'be'dealing'with'large'volumes'of' data,'so'this'framework'needs'to'capture'things'like'contact'management,'2me' management,'handling'of'interac2ons'over'2me'and'a'plethora'of'other' related'concepts.'In'this'sec2on'we’ll'discuss'concepts'such'as'progression'and' 12
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branching. Implemen2ng'the'framework'is'not'very'2me'consuming.'Also,'it'can'to'a'large' degree'benefit'your'other'female'related'endeavors.' We'll'then'look'at'a'progression&model.'This'is'what'is'basically'going'to'take' you'from'where'you'are'now'and'through'the'steps.'Resist'the'tempta2on'to' skip'ahead,'because'everything'is'built'on'what'precedes'it. The'book'is'organised'in'this'way'because'it'seems'to'make'sense'to'cover'a' bunch'of'concepts'if'you'are'going'to'be'using'them'over'and'over'again.'I' could'have'taken'shortcuts'here'and'kept'it'to'mainly'being'examples'without' much'in'way'of'explana2on.'However,'I'feel'it'would'have'been'just'that,' shortcuts.'On'the'other'hand,'the'scope'of'the'book'restricts'me'from'going'to' extreme'depth'on'the'different'concepts.'Hopefully'I've'managed'to'find'a' sweet'spot'in'this'regard,'where'you'can'get'introduced'to'a'concept,'see' examples'of'it,'try'it'out'for'yourself'and'then'understand'it'at'a'deep'level' without'necessarily'being'able'to'explain'all'the'drivers'for'it.
What&is&Tinder? Tinder'is'a'rela2vely'new'service'where'you'connect'your'Facebook'profile'to'a' seemingly'neverending'stream'of'members'of'the'opposite'sex.'The'core'idea' is'simple.'You'decide'on'a'per'person'basis'whether'you'are'interested'(right' swipe)'or'not'(leR'swipe).'If'both'par2es'swipe'right,'it'is'considered'a'“match”,' and'Tinder'from'that'moment'on'allows'the'users'to'communicate'with'a' private'chat. What'separates'Tinder'from'other'da2ng'services'is: • Tinder'is'free. • The'profile'is'very'simple.'It'currently'consists'of'only'seven'major' components:'Your'pictures—up'to'seven'of'them,'your'first'name,'your'age,' your'rela2ve'loca2on'to'the'other'party,'a'short'(up'to'500'characters'long)' textual'descrip2on,'your'shared'Facebook'friends'and'your'shared'interests.' 13
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We'will'look'at'tweaking'all'of'these'parameters'in'this'book. • The'simplicity'of'the'profiles'makes'it'really'quick'to'sign'up'for' the'service.'This'has'resulted'in'a'huge'amount'of'users'in'many'parts'of'the' world. • This'rate'of'adop2on'means'that'there'are'a'lot'of'prospects.' Women'on'Tinder'are'usually'more'“normal”'and'less'“desperate”'than'women' found'on'typical'da2ng'sites.'Do'not'be'surprised'if'you'find'your'next'door' neighbor'has'a'profile,'or'the'girl'at'the'checkout'counter'at'the'local'KwikgEg Mart. • This'horde'of'prospects'means'that'you'need'to'rethink'how'you' approach'the'service.'This'is'what'this'book'is'mainly'about;'given'the'current' set'of'parameters,'how'do'you'maximize%your%yield? If'this'sounds'exci2ng,'it'is'because'it'really'and'truly'is.'Tinder'is'a'great'service' and'if'you'approach'it'correctly,'it'will'give'you'results.
What&is&Snapchat? Snapchat'is'a'service'based'around'sending'picture'and'video'messages.'The' messages'can'be'adorned'with'textual'informa2on'and'drawings.'One'of'the' main'selling'points'of'Snapchat'is'that'you'can'decide'for'how'long'the' recipient'can'see'the'message,'and'there'is'some'rudimentary'form'of' screenshot'protec2on.'This'makes'Snapchat'a'plauorm'notoriously'famous'for' sex2ng;'sending'messages'with'sexual'content.' All'is'not'well'in'wonderland,'however,'because'this'privacy'is'largely'an' illusion.'Third'party'clients'that'allow'for'storing'pictures'indefinitely'and' uploading'pictures'from'storage'and'make'them'look'as'if'they'were'just'taken' are'plenty.'We’ll'look'at'how'to'leverage'some'of'this'later.
Differences There'are'some'huge'differences'in'how'Tinder'and'Snapchat'work.'Both'of'the' services'have'effec2ve'techniques'that'transfer'to'other'kinds'of'mobile'and' online'da2ng'services,'however. 14
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Tinder'is'a'match'based'service,'meaning'that'given'certain'criteria,'you'll' match'with'a'subset'of'the'registered'user'mass'before'you're'allowed'to' communicate'with'them.'In'a'sense,'this'is'similar'to'how'tradi2onal'speed' da2ng'works;'you're'exposed'to'a'number'of'people,'you'can'both'decide' whether'or'not'you'like'the'other'person,'and'if'you'both'agree,'it's'a'"match".' A'match'gives'you'the'opportunity'to'communicate'with'the'other'party. When'communica2ng'using'Tinder,'you'll'send'a'message'to'a'single'person'at' a'2me,'and'there'will'be'an'expecta2on'of'an'answer'most'of'the'2me.'This'is' fairly'similar'to'tex2ng.'This'means'that'if'you'send'a'message'that's'not'well' received,'or'if'2me'is'not'permiQng,'it's'not'uncommon'to'have'a'message'leR' "hanging".'This'is'a'"synchronous"'messaging'paXern,'sort'of'a'"lock'step"' dance,'where'both'par2es'are'required'to'par2cipate'to'drive'the'interac2on' forward. The'good'thing'about'messaging'on'Tinder'is'that'in'contrast'to'Facebook,' Skype,'MSN,'etc,'you'can't'really'tell'whether'or'not'the'other'person'has'read' your'message'on'Tinder.'Again,'it'is'more'similar'to'tex2ng.'This'is'good' because'it'allows'you'to'synchronously'push'the'interac2on'forward'at'your' own'pace. Snapchat'is'a'contact'based'service'where'the'requirements'for'becoming' "friends"'is'usually'preXy'low.'When'firing'off'a'"snap",'it's'quite'common'to' have'a'lot'of'people'on'the'recipient'list'for'the'same'message.'In'other'words,' you're'not'required'to'get'a'response'from'the'other'party,'and'it's'not' uncommon'to'have'a'tengtogone'ra2o'with'messages'you'send'versus' messages'you'receive.'In'a'sense,'Snapchat'scales'from'"broadcas2ng"'to'oneg ongone'messaging,'and'selec2ng'where'to'push'is'part'of'the'skill.
Goals Given'all'this'informa2on,'it's'probably'a'good'idea'to'state'an'over'arching' goal'for'the'whole'exercise.'We'll'break'this'goal'into'two'measurable' components;'yield'and'funnelling. 15
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Yield This'means'that'we’ll'start'by'looking'at'your'yield.'This'might'seem'like'an' overly'technical'term,'and'you’re'welcome'to'skip'this'if'you'want.'But'this'is' the'core'of'everything.'Given'your'investment'in'terms'of'2me'and'money,' how'much'can'you'expect'to'"succeed"'with'girls?'How'much'2me'can'you' expect'to'have'to'put'in'to'get'the'kind'of'girlfriend(s)'or'female'encounters' you'want'to'make'you'happy? Part'of'the'purpose'of'this'book'is'to'increase'your'yield.'On'a'per'dollar'and' per'minute'basis,'I'want'you'to'simply'be'able'to'squeeze'more'out'of'life.'I' urge'you'to'try'to'have'a'conscious'rela2onship'to'your'yield.'You'don’t'need'to' track'it'in'detail,'but'you’re'welcome'to'if'you'want.'Just'think'about'it.'Your' 2me'is'valuable.'Your'hard'earned'cash'should'be'yours'to'keep'and/or'spend' on'people'you'truly'care'for.
Funnelling While'you're'becoming'effec2ve'with'this,'you'll'see'that'the'most'effec2ve' way'to'organize'your'days'is'like'a'funnel.'You'll'spend'a'liXle'2me'on'Tinder,' you'll'spend'a'liXle'2me'on'Snapchat,'you'll'go'on'one'or'two'first'dates,'you'll' bring'a'girl'back'to'your'apartment,'etc. At'any'2me,'you'll'have'a'bunch'of'prospects'at'different'places'in'this'funnel,' and'the'crea2on'and'maintenance'of'an'effec2ve'funnel'is'key'to'increasing' your'yield.'It'is'then'also,'obviously,'one'of'the'key'focuses'of'this'book. Keep'in'mind'that'the'funnel'is'a'tool.'It'is'a'set'of'training'wheels,'and'you' won't'need'it'forever.'Once'you've'mastered'the'different'parts'of'interac2ons,' you'might'not'need'a'funnel'at'all.'It'is'a'good'organiza2onal'and'learning'tool,' however.'Even'if'you'never'setup'a'funnel,'it'can'be'a'good'idea'to'consider' your'prospect'in'terms'of'one'at'2mes,'because'it'will'help'you'troubleshoot' your'game.'It'will'improve'your'2ming.'But'at'the'end'of'the'day'it'is'just' another'learning'tool.
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Not&fucking&up One'big'goal'in'this'is'to'create'a'shiR'in'how'you'perceive'roman2c' interac2ons.'A'lot'of'guys'try'to'impress'women'and'come'off'as'tryghard,' permissive'and'needy.'We'need'to'shiR'this'from'a'mindset'of'"I'need'to'show' her'that'I'm'good'enough"'to'one'of'"Let's'just'try'not'to'fuck'this'up".'This' sounds'kind'of'silly,'but'the'truth'of'the'maXer'is'that'in'a'lot'of'cases'you'll' start'out'being'good%enough.'Then'you'do'something'immensely'stupid'to' make'it'abundantly'clear'that'it's'not'the'case.'95%'of'the'2me'when'you'get' laid,'this'will'be'the'case. In'the'rare'5%'where'she'has'already'measured'you'and'find'you'lacking,'and' you'manage'to'masterfully'turn'this'around'to'your'advantage,'you'll'spend'a' lot'more'2me.'Also,'with'this'outset'it's'way'easier'to'fuck'up'and'become' sucked'into'a'needy'loop.'However,'when'you'actually'nail'these,'it's'a'lot'of' fun,'so'I'm'not'saying'that'you'shouldn't'do'it.'It'just'shouldn't'be'your'gogto' game,'because'in'many'cases'you'll'end'up'over%gaming'and'drive'women' away'from'you.
What&to&expect It'is'funny'and'sad'watching'people'trying'to'get'good'at'"game",'good'with' women.' It'is'funny'because'people'are'working'extremely'hard'and'failing'miserably.'It' is'sad'because'of'the'same'reasons.'When'you'pick'up'a'mainstream'system'for' game,'you'are'given'no'guarantee'that'it's'going'to'work'for'you.'From'my' experience'it'seems'haphazard'who'succeeds'with'which'systems.'ORen'you'll' see'the'same'person'succeed'with'different'systems,'systems'that'downright' contradict'each'other.'And'unfortunately'you'll'see'people'who'will'seemingly' fail'regardless'of'the'quality'and'nature'of'the'material'you'put'in'their'hands. What'you'can'expect'from'this'book'is'a'system'that'gives'you'an'insight'into' not'only'how'to'increase'your'yield,'but'also'effec2vely'troubleshoot'what'you' are'doing.
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I've'always'hated'pain.'I'think'it'is'nature's'way'of'telling'you'that'you're'doing' something'wrong.'Because'of'this'I've'also'taken'care'to'describe'paths'to' success'for'people'who'exhibit'social'anxiety.'As'a'maXer'of'fact,'the' informa2on'in'this'book'should'help'you'out'if'you'feel'this'applies'to'you,' because'you'will'hopefully'be'able'to'look'at'what'you're'doing'in'a'systema2c' way. Tinder'is'harsh.'You'will'be'rejected'every'step'of'the'way.'From'the'first'girl' you'swipe'right'who'you'don't'match'with,'to'ending'up'in'bed'with'a'beau2ful' girl'that'later'decides'that'you're'not'really'what'she's'looking'for'and' everything'in'between. You'll'have'matches'that'don't'reply'to'your'advances.'You'll'have'conversa2ons' that'die'out.'People'will'talk'to'you'and'decide'they'don't'want'to'meet'you.' You'll'meet'with'people'who'are'going'to'end'up'not'liking'you.'You'll'meet' people'who'like'you,'but'nothing'roman2c'or'sexual'ever'happens. All'these'things'are'covered'in'a'way'that'allows'you'to'improve'every'step'of' the'way,'un2l'you're'finally'able'to'find'what'you're'looking'for,'be'it'quan2ty' (banging'a'lot'of'chicks)'or'quality'(finding'the%one). But'one'thing'you'can'expect'for'sure'is'that'it'will'be'a%lot%of%work.'But'most'of' the'work'will'be'the'kind'that'you'actually'learn'from'in'a'pain'free' environment.'I'do'want'you'to'have'high'expecta2ons,'and'when'you'put'in'the' 2me'you'will'see'results. You'll'see'that'it's'hard'to'provide'hard'metrics'of'what'to'expect'in'terms'of' numbers,'how'many'matches'should'you'get'a'day?'How'many'people'should' you'meet'a'week?'It'obviously'depends'on'the'adop2on'rate'of'the'services'in' your'city.
Differences&between&mobileL,&onlineL&and&plain&ol’&game There'are'obvious'differences'between'mobileg,'onlineg'and'just'plain'game.' The'core'concepts'should's2ll'be'the'same,'however,'so'things'you'learn'using' 18
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Tinder'should'apply'on'Snapchat'given'that'you'understand'the'differences'in' the'formats'of'the'media.'The'core'concepts'should'also'be'equally'relevant'in' real'life,'so'you'can'use'them'in'a'da2ng'situa2on,'or'even'doing'dayg'or'night' game'if'you'are'of'that'persuasion.
About&the&author&and&the&informa9on&herein To'test'the'techniques'in'this'book'and'validate'them,'I'slept'with'four'girls'four' nights'in'a'row;'five'that'week,'10'that'month.'It's'not'really'that'impressive'if' you'look'at'the'amount'of'work'that'goes'into'learning'these'techniques.'But' for'me,'this'is'sufficient'to'reach'what'I'imagine'is'a'point'of'sexual'satura2on.' Where'sex'goes'from'being'something'that'bothers'you'and'is'constantly'on' your'mind,'to'just'being'another'thing'you'feel'you'have'enough'of.'In'a'way,' the'difference'between'going'hungry'and'having'food'on'the'table. I'urged'my'friend'to'test'Tinder.'He'slept'with'6'girls'in'6'consecu2ve'days.'I' told'him'I'wanted'to'run'the'material'by'him'and'pick'his'brain.'I'spent'hours' discussing'the'concepts'with'him,'also'reverse'engineering'his'and'my'game'to' be'able'to'dis2ll'it'into'something'that’s'correct'and'repeatable. There'is'a'reason'why'I'feel'qualified'to'write'this'book.'I've'done'game'for' many'years,'both'clubg,'dayg'and'online'game.'And'I've'been'immensely' successful'at'all'of'them. Most'"pickup'gurus"'tell'you'a'sob'story'about'how'they'used'to'be'total' fuckups,'just'like'you'are'today,'and'I'guess'I'could'go'down'that'route.'But'it' would'be'unethical.'I'was'banging'girls'leR'and'right'just'being'me'way'before'I' heard'about'this'thing'called'"the'game". I've'been'religious'about'reverse'engineering,'however,'and'I'have'to'tell'you:' The'current'state'of'mainstream'game'is'abysmal.'There'is'so'much' informa2on'out'there'that'is'just'plain'bad'and'created'for'profit. I'hope'that'you'll'agree'that'this'book'doesn't'fall'into'that'category.
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I'am'not'a'"pickup'guru".'I'm'a'normal'guy.'I'think'"game"'is'fascina2ng,'but' the'more'you'can'cut'away'from'the'superg'and'ar2ficial'the'beXer.'Get'to'the' core'of'yourself'and'communicate'it'naturally.'Not'through'modeling'and' pushing'like'the'other'guys'prescribe,'but'through'peeling'away'layers'of'"bad",' un2l'what's'leR'is'a'purer'and'more'aXrac2ve'version'of'you. Yeah,'you've'heard'all'this'before,'but'very'seldomly'will'people'really'tell'you' how.'Well,'the'bad'news'is'that'in'this'book'I'won't'either,'because'this'is'about' mobile'gaming.'It'is'impossible,'however,'to'become'en2rely'successful'at'it' without'at'least'some'exposure'to'these'concepts,'so'you'll'get'a'liXle'sampler' plaXer'in'addi2on'to'the'purely'mobile'magic.'So'you're'free'to'pursue'those' resources'as'well,'with'no'earning'going'my'way.'I'just'recommend'some'other' reading'material'because'it'is'really%good. I'm'39'years'old'at'the'2me'of'wri2ng,'and'most'girls'I'bed'are'20g24'years'old.' It'seems'to'have'just'stopped'at'that'sweet'spot'lately.'It's'not'that'I'don't' venture'off'that'beaten'path,'but'I'just'seem'to'gravitate'towards'it.'As'part'of' this'process'I've'been'with'girls'from'18'to'33. What'I'm'presen2ng'in'this'book'isn't'all'invented'here.'It's'a'collec2on'of'bestg ofgbreed'techniques'coupled'with'solid'theory'of'why'it'works.'I'think'that'you' probably'won't'find'a'beXer'and'more'correct'handling'of'this'theory' anywhere'right'now,'but'I'might'just'be'full'of'myself.'Spend'some'2me'with' the'material'and'come'join'us'at'hXp://www.ignitemobileda2ng.com'and'make' up'your'own'mind.
I'hope'you'find'this'useful.
Yours'in'Elvis,
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Thomas'Denson
[email protected]
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You How'you'do'in'this'is'ul2mately'going'to'boil'down'to'who'you'are.'People' tradi2onally'schooled'in'game'focus'to'the'extreme'on'what'you'say'and'how' you'say'it.'I'predict'there'will'be'a'change'in'paradigm'here,'which'focuses'on' who'does'something'rather'than'how'it's'done. This'might'seem'a'liXle'dubious,'and'it'might'not'even'make'sense'right'now.' But'let's'quickly'look'at'what'it'means.'This'is'really'a'liXle'outside'the'scope'of' a'book'on'mobile'da2ng,'but'it'will'dictate'your'success'down'the'line.'Because' of'this,'it'is'a'good'thing'to'at'least'have'this'in'the'back'of'your'mind'as'you'do' the'stuff'with'the'apps'and'meet'up'with'people'in'person.
Core&values Your'core'values'are'always'going'to'shine'through.'These'are'not'important' directly'to'“create'aXrac2on”,'meaning,'you'do'not'want'to'pick'core'values'to' align'with'someone.'This'isn’t'necessary;'it'is'actually'an'aXrac2on'killer.'This' kind'of'behavior'is'highly'supplica2ng'and'what'we'usually'consider' “permissive”.' You'need'to'figure'out'what'you'personally'value'and'make'sure'your' environment'falls'into'alignment'with'it.'This'is'the'opposite'of'being' “permissive”,'this'is'being'“screening”.'Once'people'no2ce'that'you’re' screening,'they’ll'automa2cally'try'to'meet'your'standards.'It'is'a'part'of' human'nature.'It'doesn’t'mean'that'they'will'compromise'their'own'core' values,'although'they'will'some'2mes. You'don’t'need'to'act'like'an'asshole'to'communicate'your'core'values.'You' don’t'even'have'to'agree'with'someone'on'core'topics'for'you'to'be'a'decent' match.'It'just'always'helps'to'know'what'your'preferences'are. This'short'introduc2on'to'“screening”'is'not'enough'for'you'to'naturally' communicate'your'core'values'in'an'aXrac2ve'way,'but'we’ll'cover'that'in'the' future'chapter'on'doing'the'actual'communica2ons.'It'is'just'a'lot'easier'if' 22
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you’re'familiar'with'your'own'core,'who'you'are.
Brand Crea2ng'a'"brand"'can'be'highly'beneficial.'This'basically'means'that'you'align' your'presenta2on'with'a'well'known'archetype.'This'will'make'it'easier'to's2ck' out'in'a'crowd,'it'will'give'you'more'focus'and'will'make'you'more'interes2ng' to'women. When'picking'a'brand,'pick'one'that'rou2nely'gets'laid.'This'might'seem' superficial,'and'it'is.'But'consider'this:'Women'know'that'rockstars'get'laid.'If' you'look'like'a'rockstar'and'they'want'to'get'laid,'would'they'not'naturally' gravitate'towards'you'if'you'look'like'one? This'is'a'concept'called'"polariza2on".'If'you'polarize'in'a'certain'direc2on,'you' will'aXract'more'women'of'a'certain'kind'while'repulsing'another'segment.' The'idea'with'polarizing'is'that'even'if'you'don't'always'get'a'favorable' response'you'always'get'one'that's'emo2onally'charged. Compare'this'to'the'always'luke'warm'response'you'll'get'if'your'pictures'all' have'you'wearing'a'bland'pologshirt. It'is'beXer'to'have'some'favorable'highly'emo2onal'responses'than'a'bunch'of' luke'warm'ones. There'are'a'lot'of'different'brands'you'can'go'for.'Go'to'a'club'where'the'kinds' of'girls'you'like'go.'Just'stake'it'out'for'the'night'and'see'what'kinds'of'brands' the'guys'who'actually'are'connec2ng'and'pulling'girls'are'communica2ng.'If' these'brands'resonate'with'you,'try'them'on. Typical'brands'that'you'might'try'are: • • •
Indie Rocker Emo 23
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Rich'dickhole Dandy Hipster Fisherman'(!)
When'picking'out'your'brand'you'can'also'check'out'fashion'magazines'for'the' latest'trends,'but'don't'go'overboard'and'get'a'whole'new'wardrobe.'We'll'get' into'maximizing'your'results'with'as'liXle'cost'and'effort'as'possible. Belonging'to'a'brand'also'has'the'benefit'of'suddenly'commanding'the'benefits' of'uniformity.'This'whole'idea'of'belonging'to'a'group'of'people'gives'you'the' benefit'of'strength'in'numbers.'You'don't'punch'a'Liverpool'supporter'in'the' face'when'you're'at'his'club'house.'You'don't'mess'with'a'soldier'when'you' know'he's'got'an'army'to'back'him'up.'This'is'the'same'effect'you'can'leverage;' if'you'fit'in'and'seem'to'belong'to'a'group,'you'll'automa2cally'communicate' the'strength'of'the'group'you'seem'to'belong'to. You'can'benefit'from'this'effect'by'choosing'a'brand'that'shows'a'strong' belonging'to'a'group'of'people.'It'allows'you'to'get'away'with'more. It'doesn't'mean,'however,'that'you'should'try'to'blend'in'so'well'that'you' disappear.'Add'a'couple'of'twists'to'it,'so'you'make'it'your'own.'We'refer'to' this'as'raising%your%signature;'you'become'more'visible'and'easier'to'track'in' an'environment.
Experience Knowing'yourself'is'part'of'all'of'this.'Don't'be'surprised'that'you'actually'get' to'know'yourself'in'a'different'way'aRer'5g10'dates'with'new'women,'as'new' impulses'will'probe'different'parts'of'you'and'force'you'to'consider'yourself'in' a'new'light'and'reevaluate'your'connec2on'to'the'world. This'is'called'experience,'and'it'is'a'killer'feature. While'there'are'ways'to'fake'experience'(or'rather,'create%the%illusion%of% 24
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experience),'it'is'really'not'that'hard'to'accumulate,'and'it's'a'fun'process.'To' speed'up'the'consolida2on'of'new'experiences'and'to'grow'as'a'person,'it'is'a' good'idea'to'do'a'couple'of'things'in'response'to'your'adventures. You'should'rou2nely'journal'to'process'experiences.'This'allows'you'to' consciously'consider'what's'happened'and'it'makes'it'easier'to'remember' different'interac2ons'and'events.'This'conscious'rela2onship'to'your' experiences'will'also'allow'you'to'match'them'up'and'make'sense'of'the' techniques'you'get'from'this'book'and'other'sources. Ideally,'you'should'discuss'your'experiences'with'others.'This'will'help'you'to' see'things'in'different'perspec2ves'and'this'is'actually'part'of'what'experience' is.'So'yes,'recommend'this'book'to'a'friend'(or'just'hand'him'a'copy,'I'won't'tell' anyone),'and'schedule'weekly'meets'where'you'discuss'how'you'did.'This' format'is'oRen'referred'to'as'a'mastermind%group,'from'Napoleon'Hill's'Think' and'Grow'Rich.'The'important'thing'is'that'you'align'yourself'with'people'with' similar'goals'and'the'willingness'to'put'in'the'work.'Make'sure'they'are,'as' anyone'who'has'different'goals'and/or'is'unwilling'to'put'in'the'work'will' actually'slow'you'down'instead'of'helping'you'get'ahead.
Hobbies&and&interests Imagine'trying'to'connect'with'someone'who'only'cares'for'muscle'cars. You'try'to'talk'to'them'about'The'Ellen'Show'or'Firefly.'You'want'to'tell'them' about'the'new'Szechuan'restaurant'on'the'corner'where'you'live.'You'ask'them' if'they'want'to'go'to'a'concert'next'week'to'see'Steel'Panther. But'they'only'care'for'muscle'cars. Don't'be'that'guy.'If'you'have'a'hard'2me'being'interested'in'things'in'general,' that'sucks.'It'will'be'harder'for'you'to'connect'with'people,'because'you're'the' muscle'car'guy.'Or'the'computer'geek.'Or'the'anime'fan.'Or'the'conspiracy' theorist.'Or'the'baseball'fan.
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In'a'sense,'you'can'look'at'people'as'almost'having'an'internal'"menu".'You' don't'go'to'a'place'that'only'serves'one'type'of'burger,'not'every'day.'You'want' to'be'able'to'engage'in'different'topics'and'serve'different'dishes.'You'do'this' by'having'experience'with'mul2ple'things.' If'you'really'can't'muster'up'any'interest'in'a'topic,'it's'usually'because'you' really'don't'know'anything'about'it.'People'who'follow'baseball'tend'to'find' sta2s2cs'immensely'interes2ng,'and'the'enjoyment'of'the'game'increases' because'of'it.'This'is'the'same'way'you're'more'likely'to'enjoy'wine'if'you'know' something'about'it.'Or'music'if'you'follow'a'scene'for'a'while. Increasing'your'menu'will'make'it'easier'to'connect'with'more'people.'It'is' also,'like'geQng'experience'in'general,'a'truly'enjoyable'experience.
Profession I'm'not'going'to'talk'much'about'profession,'and'neither'should'you. Try'to'not'be'defined'by'your'profession.'I'am'a'computer'programmer'by'day,' and'I'understand'that'this'is'something'preXy'much'nobody'cares'about.' Therefore'I'don't'talk'much'about'it.'I'limit'it'to'the'parts'of'my'job'that'have' an'emo2onal'component;'it'allows'me'to'solve'problems,'kind'of'like'Sudoku,' on'a'daily'basis,'and'the'products'I'have'made'that'they'might'know'about.'But' I'don't'sit'down'and'tell'people'about'what'my'day'really'looks'like'or'discuss' the'benefits'of'the'.NET'plauorm'over'Java. If'you'spend'too'much'2me'talking'about'your'profession,'you'll'end'up'being' muscle'car'guy.'Don't'become'muscle'car'guy. This'is'a'part'of'knowing%your%audience,'geQng'a'feeling'for'what'people' respond'to'and'are'aXracted'to.
Friends Your'friends'aren't'just'great'assets'for'you'personally'as'shoulders'to'cry'on' and'feet'to'fetch'you'beer,'they'are'extremely'valuable'in'a'da2ng'situa2on.' 26
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They'take'you'on'adventures,'they'have'quirks'and'interes2ng'personali2es' and'they'are'in'important'part'of'your'environment'in'the'way'they'shape'you.' They'tell'you'stories'from'their'lives'and'allow'you'to'accumulate'experiences' vicariously. If'you'have'a'friend'you'get'blackout'drunk'with,'and'he'tends'to'recap'the' night'for'you;'tell'you'a'bunch'of'funny'stories'that'you'd'forgoXen,'he's'a'great' asset. If'you'have'a'friend'who'is'the'horniest'guy'you'know,'and'his'mouth'starts' watering'whenever'he'sees'a'woman,'he's'an'asset'to'you'in'a'date'situa2on. If'you'have'a'friend'who'is'a'sore'loser,'talk'about'him. This'is'not'to'put'yourself'in'a'good'or'beXer'light,'you'don't'want'to'compare' yourself'to'your'friends.'They'are'a'part'of'you,'a'part'of'how'you'are' composed. You'don't'love'your'friends'because'you're'extremely'similar,'you'love'your' friends'because'you'manage'to'hang'out'in'spite'of'your'differences.'You'love' your'friends'because'they'guide'you'in'life'and'are'inspira2ons'for'you.' This,'to'some'extent,'allows'you'to'be'muscle'car'guy'and's2ll'not'be.'And'your' friends,'ul2mately,'will'naturally'help'you'transi2on'if'you'want.'They'just'add' to'the'entropy'of'your'life. If'they'don't…'Well,'I'just'hope'they'do,'because'friends'are'more'than'just' friends.
Stories Thinking'about'your'friends,'you'will'no'doubt'remember'a'bunch'of'funny' stories.'Think'of'these'as'garnishes'on'your'menu,'stuff'you'can'use'to'spice'up' a'conversa2on.'The'more'of'these'you'have,'the'beXer.'You'll'have'one'for'any' occasion,'for'any'topic.'Ideally,'these'stories'will'have'a'lot'of'features'that' 27
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people'can'latch'on'to. I'm'not'advoca2ng'that'you'memorize'a'bunch'of'stories'and'spout'them'out' date'aRer'date.'This'is'crappy'behavior,'and'it'will'bore'you'to'tears.'I'just' recommend'you'work'on'expanding'your'menu.' Don't'worry'about'transi2oning'to'these'stories,'tell'them'if'you'find'them' interes2ng'and're2re'them'when'they'start'to'bore'you.'And'use'them' sparingly;'it'is'OK'to'fall'in'love'with'your'own'voice,'but'make'room'for'two'in' a'conversa2on. I'm'not'saying'you'should'physically'bring'your'friends'to'dates'with'women,' but'you'always'carry'some'of'them'with'you.'If'you'have'friends'with' interes2ng'stories,'you'll'never'run'out'of'things'to'say'over'a'cup'of'tea.
The&physical&you You'are'a'bright'point'of'light,'of'pure'consciousness,'beau2ful'and'eternal. Unfortunately'you'have'a'vessel'of'meat,'bone,'skin'and'hair'to'carry'you' around.'Follicles.'This'vessel'happens'to'be'a'big'part'of'what'people'are' aXracted'to,'and'that'makes'it'important'to'keep'it'in'shape,'groom'it'and'care' for'it.
Height There'are'things'you'cannot'really'easily'do'anything'with.'Your'height'is'one'of' them,'and'many'women'are'preXy'strict'about'da2ng'guys'who'are'shorter' than'themselves. I'can'only'recommend'you'get'some'nice'Chelsea'boots'with'heels'for'this.'I'm' a'preXy'tall'guy'myself,'at'6'2",'but'I's2ll'wear'boots'with'heels'of'about'an' inch.'Not'only'to'add'to'my'height,'but'they'also'give'me'a'more'sexy'walk,' longer'legs'compared'to'the'rest'of'my'body'and'in'general'they'are'great'for' walking'around'with.
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Ask'around'and'make'sure'you'find'something'that'can'be'combined'with' casual'and'more'dressy'aQres.
Workout I'm'not'going'to'lie'to'you,'you'need'to'start'a'workout'regime'if'you're'not' already'on'one.'LiR.'Check'out'the'5x5'programme'and'just'start'doing'it.'This' is'preXy'much'free'pussy.'You'will'also'feel'beXer,'live'longer,'etc.'I'm'not'going' to'fucking'harp'on'this,'because'frankly,'it's'not'worth'my'2me.'Just'do'it.'The' link'to'the'programme'is'in'the'appendix.
Trauma This'is'a'liXle'controversial,'but'you'might'be'trauma2zed.'Most'people'are'to' varying'degrees.'Before'you'start'doing'any'kind'of'social'extreme'sports,'deg trauma2ze'yourself.'To'my'knowledge,'the'most'effec2ve'way'of'doing'this' right'now'is'called'TRE'(Trauma'Release'Exercise)'by'David'Berceli.'It'is'"the' most'effec2ve"'because'it'is'cheap'and'easy'to'learn,'you'can'do'it'on'your' own,'and'you'll'be'beXer'off'for'it.'If'you've'yet'to'be'exposed'to'this' technique,'this'paragraph'alone'might'be'worth'the'price'of'this'book,'because' it's'not'about'the'quan2ty'of'the'informa2on,'it'is'about'the'quality. You'should'also'be'able'to'find'a'local'TRE'instructor'that'guides'you'through' the'exercise'the'first'couple'of'2mes.'This'can'be'helpful,'as'it'is'indeed' possible'to'do'it'the'wrong'way.'Try'on'your'own'first,'if'you'see'no'effect,'seek' someone'out.'The'book'and'other'relevant'resources'are'listed'in'the' appendix.
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Data&management This'system'is'about'volume'and'funnelling'that'volume.'This'means'that'you' need'a'system'for'data'management.'You'might'have'one'of'these'in'place,'but' if'you'don't,'you'll'need'one.'Even'if'you'have'one'in'place,'consider'the'ideas' presented'in'this'chapter,'as'there'is'always'room'for'improvement. Tinder'will'keep'track'of'your'matches'for'you,'but'there'will'be'many'of'them.' With'Tinder'contacts'you'will'have'immediate'access'to'their'distance'from' you,'which'is'valuable.'With'Snapchat,'it's'really'not'that'easy.'Depending'on' how'you'distribute'your'2me'between'these,'the'requirements'for'a'system'to' handle'the'informa2on'will'become'vital. You'can'start'out'without'one,'but'you'll'regret'it.'It's'beXer'to'have'something' in'place'and'ease'out'of'it'if'it'turns'out'to'be'superfluous. There'are'mul2ple'pieces'of'data'that'you'need'to'keep'track'of,'most'notable' are'contact'informa2on'and'2me'slots. Personally,'I'use'Evernote'to'manage'my'data'mining.'The'thing'about' Snapchat'addresses'is'that'you'll'get'them'everywhere.'On'the'web,'on'Tinderg profiles,'from'girls'you're'talking'to.'Evernote'can'accomodate'all'this,'and' allows'you'to'tag,'edit'and'in'general'freeform'describe'your'contacts. It'also'has'a'web'clipper'that'is'preXy'smart,'so'if'you'repeatedly'clip'Snapchat' addresses,'it'will'suggest'correct'notebooks'and'tags'for'you'automa2cally.'This' will'save'you'a'lot'of'2me'and'allow'you'to'just'gather'more'data'more'quickly. I'm'not'going'to'describe'a'system'in'full'detail'because'most'of'you'are'going' to'want'to'put'personal'spins'on'the'system'anyway.'Just'consider' implemen2ng'one'early,'because'it'will'make'life'easier'down'the'road. Evernote'also'has'mobile'clients'for'all'major'plauorms.
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It'is'fairly'easy'to'find'a'free'calendar'solu2on'that'works'with'your'cell'phone;' Google&Calendar'is'one'of'them.'It’s'important'because'if'you'don’t'have' control'over'your'own'2me'slots,'you'basically'don’t'really'have'a'way'to' communicate'with'women'without'constantly%losing%momentum. When'data'turns'into'prospects,'I'use'Trello'to'do'funnelling.'Trello'is'freely' available,'and'is'nice'to'capture'the'flow'of'prospects'through'their'different' states.'We’ll'go'into'detail'on'how'to'use'Trello'for'managing'current'prospects' and'debugging'your'progressions'later.
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Tinder On'Tinder,'you'create'a'profile'that'is'good'enough'to'generate'"matches".'You' want'to'quickly'convert'these'matches'to'meetups.'As'oRen'as'desirable,'you' want'these'meetups'to'turn'into'a'sexual'encounter. Tinder,'in'a'sense,'cons2tutes'its'own'fully'fletched'funnel;'your'ini2al'contact' is'on'Tinder,'your'matching'and'your'communica2on'can'all'be'done'on'Tinder' all'the'way'to'and'past'sex.'
Account You'll'need'an'account'to'use'Tinder.'This'account'can'be'created'easily'and'for' free. Signing'up'is'a'simple'process'where'you'basically'just'mirror'the'data'you'have' on'your'Facebook'account.'This'basically'means'that'if'you'want'to'doctor'any' of'these'values,'you'need'to'tweak'your'Facebook'account'prior'to'signing'up' for'Tinder.' Alterna2vely,'you'can'recycle'(delete'and'regsignup)'your'Tinder'account'to' reflect'some'of'the'changes.'A'lot'of'the'aXributes'in'the'account'will'be' updated'from'Facebook'in'your'Tinder'account'without'having'to'signup'fresh,' but'key'stuff'like'your'name'and'age'will'not'be'changed'aRer'signup. Another'reason'to'recycle'your'account'is'that'you'will'be'exposed'to'the'same' women'a'second'2me.'This'can'be'very'handy'if'you'have'a'profile'which'is' heavily'polarized.'Also,'if'you've'done'split'tes2ng'of'your'profile'pictures,'but' we'll'get'into'this'later. Just'keep'in'mind'that'when'we'discuss'recycling'your'profile,'this'means'that' you'delete'it'and'signup'fresh.'This'will'remove'all'your'matches,'so'do'not'do' this'unless'you'have'alternate'contact'informa2on'for'all'prospects. Also,'keep'in'mind'that'it'is'a'possibility'to'create'mul2ple'Facebook'accounts,' 32
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and'maintain'one'for'the'sole'purpose'of'running'Tinder.'This'is'against'the' current'terms'and'condi2ons'on'Facebook,'so'research'this'and'apply'at'your' own'risk.'It'can'be'highly'beneficial,'and'we'll'get'into'why'a'liXle'bit'later. Basically,'recycling'your'profile'is'a'surefire'way'to'get'two'chances'to'make'a' first'impression,'and'you'should'know'about'this'possibility. Your&first&name'will'be'copied'from'Facebook.'Your'middle'name'will'not.'This' is'good'to'know'in'case'your'first'and'middle'name'when'combined'have'a'high' signature'and'is'easily'recognizable,'especially'if'you'value'your'privacy.'And' you'should'if'you're'not'completely'honest'about'all'variables. Your&age'is'copied'from'Facebook'at'account'crea2on,'and'cannot'be'changed.' Tinder'claims'it'will'change'upon'login,'but'this'seems'to'not'be'consistently' the'case,'so'pay'special'aXen2on'to'your'Facebook'age'prior'to'crea2ng'your' Tinder'account.' You'can'change'your'age'on'Facebook,'but'keep'in'mind'that'this'can'only'be' done'a'limited'amount'of'2mes.'When'you'surpass'a'certain'limit,'Facebook' will'simply'disable'the'op2on'to'change'your'birthdate'completely. Personally,'I'keep'my'birth'year'private'on'Facebook,'and'I'm'currently'shaving' off'6'years,'changing'my'birth'year'from'1974'to'1980.'This'is'because'I'can'get' away'with'it'and'it'just'opens'up'the'pool'for'me;'it'just'allows'me'to'date' younger'women.
Pictures Pictures'are'what'Tinder'is'all'about.'It'is'true'that'it'is'just'one'of'many' variables'that'create'your'"profile",'however,'the'pictures'are'by'far'the'most' important'part. The'sad'thing'about'this'is'that'we're'not'all'great'lookers. The'good'thing'is'that'you'can'take'1,000'pictures'and'discard'999'of'them.' 33
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This'is'a'sobering'exercise,'but'it'pays'off'generously. It'is'also'possible'to'actually'learn'to'become'more'photogenic. Finally,'a'lot'can'be'done'when'post'processing'an'image.
The&Calling&Card The'first'picture'in'your'stack'of'up'to'7'is'oRen'referred'to'as'your'calling%card.' It'is'of'utmost'importance'that'you'put%your%best%picture%first.'Tinder'is'built'in' such'a'way'that'you'actually'have'to'make'an'effort'to'see'anything'but'the' first'picture.'So'make'sure'the'first'picture'is'the'absolute'best.'This'means: • • • • •
It'should'be'abundantly'clear'which'person'in'the'picture'is'you. It'should'be'easy'to'see'what'you'look'like;'there'should'be'no'reason'to' check'out'the'other'pictures'to'get'a'good'idea'if'you’re'aXrac2ve'or'not. You'need'to'look'somewhat'aXrac2ve'in'this'picture. You'should'refrain'from'making'it%too%edgy.'Refrain'from'polarizing'too' hard'in'your'first'picture. It'is'OK'to'show'some'of'who'you'are'in'terms'of'interests,'but'make'you' the'main'focus.
When'faced'with'a'huge'selec2on'as'on'Tinder,'women'become'extremely' shallow.'Most'women'won’t'wade'through'your'pictures'if'the'first'picture' doesn’t'pique'their'interest.
My&Calling&Card I’m'going'to'walk'you'through'the'reasoning'for'my'own'calling'card.'This'is'the' only'picture'I'use'of'me'at'2mes.
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•
You'can'see'what'I'look'like,'but'it'is's2ll'a'liXle'mysterious. I'have'an'ENERGIEgbag'located'in'the'boXom'leR'corner.'It'is'cut'off'so'it' looks'like'the'words'spell'out'“ORGIE”,'a'valid'alterna2ve'spelling'for'the' word'orgy.'Coincidence? I'have'a'guitar'there,'a'Gibson.'I'really'suck'at'playing'guitar,'but'I'own'it' and'the'chicks'dig'it. I'have'an'Apple'iPad'which'I'seem'to'be'studying'closely.'See,'I’m' implicitly'endorsed'by'three'brands'without'it'taking'the'focus'away' from'me. The'shot'is'a'fake%candid.'I’m'pretending'not'to'no2ce'that'I’m'being' taken'a'picture'of.'In'reality'I'can'see'the'picture'as'it'is'being'taken'on' 35
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• • • • • •
• •
•
the'iPad,'making'adjustments'as'needed.'This'is'selfie'porn. This'picture'tells'a'story.'What'is'he'wai2ng'for?'Where'is'he'going?'To' band%camp? The'whole'picture'is'color'coordinated'without'being'matchyDmatchy. It'looks'like'it'could'have'been'taken'with'an'iPhone'camera'and'run' through'some'Instagram'filters.'This'makes'it'appear'like'it's'not'try%hard. I’m'wearing'generous'amounts'of'makeup,'including'mascara'and' eyeliner.' I'am'sucking'in'my'cheeks'a'liXle,'Zoolander'style,'to'give'my'face' defini2on. I'did'quite'extensive'work'to'2dy'this'part'of'the'apartment'before'I'took' the'picture.'I'removed'a'bunch'of'stuff'from'the'window'sill'and'a'table' that’s'usually'in'front'of'the'sofa. The'picture'seems'casual,'but'is'actually'shot'with'a'strobe'flash'pointed' up'in'the'leR'corner'to'give'a'soR'light'effect. The'picture'has'been'quite'extensively'post'processed'using'Photoshop' and'Perfect'Effects.'Annoying'items'in'the'background'have'been' removed.'My'skin'has'been'healed.'I'filled'in'some'of'my'hair.'I'removed' dust'and'speckles'from'my'clothing.' The'combina2on'of'ligh2ng,'makeup'and'Photoshop'allow'me'to'easily' pass'for'33'even'if'I’m'39.
We’ll'go'through'many'of'these'things'in'the'appendices,'I'just'wanted'to'give' you'an'idea'of'what'my'profile'looks'like.'I'want'you'to'think'like'this'when'you' design'your'calling'card.'How'can'you'showcase'yourself'in'a'flaXering'way,' while's2ll'crea2ng'hooks'for'her'to'act'on?
Hot&or¬ So,'are'you'hot'or'not? There'are'a'number'of'ways'to'find'out. A'simple'one'is'to'ask&your&female&friends'to'pick'out'some'pictures'from'a' bunch'of'them.'Ideally,'do'this'before'you'start'processing'them.'This'saves'you' 36
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from'spending'2me'polishing'turds.'You'can'also'run'the'finished'result'by' them,'but'try'it'without'men2oning'that'you've'done'digital'plas2c'surgery'on' yourself.'If'they'no2ce,'you've'overdone'it.'If'they'don't,'and'just'find'the' picture'to'be'a'good'picture'of'you,'you've'hit'the'sweet'spot. It'is'also'possible'to'do&split&tes9ng&of&pictures.'Run'a'set'of'pictures'for'a' couple'of'days,'exchange'them'for'a'different'set'and'see'how'they'do.'It'is'a' liXle'hard'to'calculate'how'long'they'are'in'circula2on'for'and'what,'exactly,' the'girls'are'exposed'to'when'you're'trying'to'figure'out'what'works'the'best.' This'is'made'a'liXle'simpler'if'you'decide'on'going'for'mul2ple'Facebook' accounts'and'spoofing'loca2on;'all'this'is'explained'later,'but'the'basic' takeaway'is'that'you'can'actually'test'your'images'on'real'life'women'without' burning'your'prospects'and'gather'very'accurate'sta2s2cs'on'how'the'different' pictures'perform'with'the'opposite'sex.'It's'just'a'liXle'work,'that's'all.'For' instruc2ons'on'how'to'do'advances'split'tes2ng,'see'here:'Tes2ng'pictures'and' approaches.
What&kind&of&pictures&do&you&need? If'you'need'to'fully'understand'how'to'take'a'decent'picture'and'what'a'decent' picture'is,'you'can'check'out'the'appendices'with'general'photography'2ps'and' processing.'For'now,'let's'just'look'at'which'kinds'of'pictures'you'want'to'have' on'your'profile. When'I'started'flipping'through'the'pool'of'women'on'Tinder,'I'was'preXy' amazed'at'how'boring,'bad'and'uninteres2ng'pictures'they'had.'This'will' obviously'change'depending'on'where'you'are'in'the'world,'and'I'have,'sadly,' no'way'of'checking'all'different'environments. This'was'what'females'typically'tried'to'pass'off'as'decent'profile'pictures: • Them'snorkelling,'scubag'or'skydiving. • Them'hugging'a'dolphin. • Them'standing'on'the'top'of'a'mountain,'facing'a'beau2ful' landscape. 37
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• • • • • America.
Them'with'a'bunch'of'friends. Them'dressed'up'as'Op2mus'Prime'for'Halloween. Their'silhoueXe'dancing'on'top'of'a'Bangkok'skyscraper. Them'on'the'Great'Wall'of'China. Them'being'depicted'with'a'street'kid'from'Africa'or'South'
“Interes2ng'life,”'I'kept'thinking'to'myself,'“but'all'I'really'want'is'to'see'what% you%look%like.” ARer'a'while,'I'ended'up'leR'swiping'anyone'with'a'dolphin'kiss'as'the'first' picture.'Yeah,'see,'I'didn’t'even'bother'looking'at'the'other'pictures'there,' because'there'are'too'many'people'who'actually'show'you'what'they'look'like' straight'off'the'bat.'Time,'my'friend,'is'of'the'essence. (This'system'was'later'superceded'by'The'Right'Way(tm)gsystem'described' shortly.) Learning'from'this'is'that'it'is'a'good'idea'to'have'a'good'picture'of'yourself'as' your'primary'profile'picture'where'people'can'actually'see'what'you'look'like.' This,'in'itself,'will'be'polarizing;'not'everybody'is'going'to'like'what'you'look' like.'This'is'true'for'most'people'on'earth,'so'just'get'it'over'with. Again,'we’re'talking'a'picture'that'decidedly'says'what'you'can'look'like,' obviously'a'good'one'which'might'be'doctored'as'far'as'ethics'allow. Everything'else'is'icing'on'the'cake,'and'one'simple'rule'applies'here: If'you'have'a'single'good'picture'where'girls'can'see'what'you'look'like,'you’re% good%to%go.'If'you'decide'to'add'more'pictures,'make'sure'that'each'and'every' one'of'them'adds'value'instead'of'subtrac2ng'it. I'can’t'count'the'number'of'2mes'I’ve'gone'over'profiles'on'Tinder'and'seen'a' girl'have'a'nice'first'picture.'Then'comes'a'decent'second'picture.'And'then,'on' 38
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the'third'she’s'all'herpDaDderpDaDdoo'and'I'go'“Oh,'honey.'You'should’ve'leR'it' at'two”'and'swipe'her'leR. Don’t'be'this'person.'If'you’re'unsure'whether'a'picture'is'adding'or' subtrac2ng,'split%test%it%or%leave%it%out. I'had'150'matches'on'two'pictures'my'first'two'weeks'on'Tinder.'One'of'them' was'a'flaXering'black'and'white'picture'with'a'shallow'depth'of'field,'a'typical' lucky'candid'shot.'The'second'was'an'illustrator'picture,'where'I’d'drawn' myself'into'an'Archer'scene.'Yeah,'see,'that’s'really'only'one'picture,'it'seems' most'people'don’t'watch'the'TVgshow'Archer,'at'least'not'religiously. If'you'understand'this'concept'that'a'picture'can'hurt'more'than'benefit'you,' and'you'really'only'need'one'really'good'picture,'move'on. Also,'when'I'changed'to'my'current'calling'card,'it'ended'me'up'with'120% matches%in%a%day.'Not'every'day,'but'in'one'single'day.'Now'I'have'1250' matches'in'a'city'with'a'popula2on'of'approximately'600,000'people'(including' surrounding'areas,'there'are'obviously'more,'but's2ll). Check'in'the'appendix'for'a'full'rundown'on'how'to'take'good'pictures'for' Tinder. Also,'there'is'the'whole'idea'of'post'processing'your'pictures.'I'suggest'you' watch'the'South'Park'episode'called'"The'Hobbit"'right'now,'because'it's'highly' relevant,'very'funny'and'just'a'liXle'bit'sad. Imagine'for'a'second'that'it'might'be'true'that'a'woman'will'have'sex'with'you' regardless%of%your%looks.'Only,'when'she'needs'to'explain'to'her'girlfriends'why' she'did'it,'it's'a'huge'help'if'you'have'a'really'good'Tinder'picture.' "Oh,'he's'cute,"'they'll'coo,'and'she'll'be'off'the'hook. This'is'oRen'more'important'than'you'actually'being'super'good'looking'in'real' 39
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life,'because'it's'not'their'only'aXrac2on'trigger. Never'ever'underes2mate'the'importance'of'having'good'pictures.'Make'it'an' ongoing'endeavor'to'get'beXer'pictures,'even'as'you'start'to'become' successful.'It'will'help'you'out'more'than'you'can'imagine.'
Profile&text Tinder'has'a'profile'text'limited'to'500'characters.'You're'advised'not'to'use'all' of'them. Actually,'it's'a'good'idea'to'keep'it'short'and'sweet.'Wri2ng'too'much'has'a' tendency'to'come'off'as'"try'hard"'and'"not'geQng'it".'You'll'see'hot'chicks'not' having'a'single'character'in'their'profile.'If'you'must'have'a'profile,'keep'it' minimal. Whatever'you'do,'resist'the'urge'to'brag'about'anything.'No'men2oning'your' super'hot'car,'that'you'live'in'the'rich'part'of'town,'that'you'make'a'lot'of' money'or'that'your'father'is'a'famous'scuba'diver.'If'this'stuff'is'ever'going'to' maXer'to'anyone,'it'will'be'in'your'actual'interac2on.'Even'(thinking'of)' men2oning'this'stuff'in'your'Tinder'profile'is'absolutely'hopeless,'and'should' be'avoided'at'all'cost. If'anything,'use'your'profile'text'to'communicate'key'aXributes'that'might'or' might'not'be'of'importance'to'girls. Height'is'one'of'these'key'aXributes'which'Tinder'doesn't'include.'If'you'feel' your'height'is'beneficial,'include'it.'It'will'keep'a'lot'of'women'from'guessing,' and'this'is'an'issue'for'many'of'them.'Just'write'it'down'as'factual'informa2on.' I'have'it'in'my'rela2vely'successful'profile'I'm'currently'running,'I'just'write'it' down'as'188%cm'or'6'2".'There'is'no'need'to'write'any'more,'just'get'the'fact' down. When'in'doubt'whether'to'write'an'elaborate'or'casual'profile,'err'on'the'side' of'casual. 40
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Similarly,'when'considering'whether'to'be'profound'vs'humorous,'go'for'light' and'humorous.'On'Tinder'you'do'not'communicate'your'personality'through' your'profile'text. If'you'manage'to'nail'a'profile'with'a'single'qualifying'statement,'if'can'be' helpful.'Things'like'"Control'freaks'need'not'swipe'right"'and'"If'you're' rela2vely'well'kept,'give'it'your'best'shot"'actually'work'to'trigger'a'need'to' prove'themselves'in'some'women.'Try'to'find'a'qualifica2on'statement'that' isn't'too'polarizing,'because'you'll'lose'more'than'you'gain. The'same'way'your'pictures'can'be'split'tested,'qualifica2on'statements'and' the'full'profile'text'can'be'split'tested'to'find'the'one'with'the'higher'yield. My'current'profile'text'just'reads:' 6'2".'Adventaurus. I'm'a'Taurus'and'I'made'a'play'on'words'that'I'like'adventures.'This'will'give' some'girls'the'hook'they'need'to'take'the'step'and'actually'ini2ate' conversa2on.'This'kind'of'hook'can'be'good'to'help'make%it%easy'for'them.
Likes Tinder'will'show'you'which'Facebook'"Likes"'you'share.'If'you'like'the'band' Asia'and'she'does'too,'it'will'be'displayed'to'both'of'you'when'you'do'your' matching.'This'is'definitely'a'secondary'thing,'but'it'might'help'2p'the'scales'in' your'favor. As'the'other'person'can'only'see'shared'likes,'you'can'preXy'much'add'as' many'likes'as'you'see'fit'without'risking'looking'like'an'idiot.'If'you'add'the' band'Slayer'and'Jus2n'Bieber'as'likes,'you'will'polarize'with'benefits'with'both' the'rocker'girl'and'the'teeny'bopper. Taste'in'music'is'not'incredibly'important'in'the'large'scale'of'things,'but'there' 41
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are'other'areas'that'might'help'create'a'more'solid'bond;'that'of'familiarity.'If' you'live'in'a'city,'no'doubt'there'are'clubs'and'bars'people'frequent.'These' oRen'have'Facebook'pages'you'can'like. If'you'and'her'like'the'same'club,'this'might'give'you'a'certain'prequalifica2on' with'her.'You'might'all'of'a'sudden'be'a'guy'she's'laid'eyes'on'a'drunken' Saturday,'but'been'too'shy'to'talk'to.'Not'that'you've'necessarily'ever'been'to' the'club'in'real'life.'I'personally'like'to'troll'(pun'intended)'the'local'bar'and' club'scenes,'and'I'no2ced'this'effect'preXy'early;'women'love'liking'their' favorite'places.'So'I'went'through'my'Facebook'profile'and'made'sure'I'd' added'all'the'clubs'I'frequent'and'like.'A'couple'of'days'later,'I'matched'with'an' absolutely'smoking'hot'20'year'old,'and'we'have'liked'7'of'the'same'places. So'what's'keeping'you'from'just'going'through'and'adding'preXy'much'all'the' bars'and'clubs'in'your'area?'Nothing,'really.'It's'just'a'liXle'work,'that's'all.'You' will'not'polarize'nega2vely'doing'so,'but'you'will'polarize'posi2vely.'I'do' recommend'you'having'a'2ny'bit'of'knowledge'about'the'places'you'add,' however,'as'it'might'easily'come'up'in'conversa2on,'and'it'just'seems'a'liXle' sad'to'like'a'bar'you've'never'even'been'to. The'concept'of'liking'to'match'extends,'obviously,'to'other'things,'but'it'seems' like'liking'actual'physical'places'creates'a'realness'to'the'similari2es.'It's'as'if' you'take'a'step'from'the'virtual'into'the'real'world'by'indica2ng'that'you' occupy'the'same'physical'space'at'2mes. Here'are'some'other''categories'you'might'go'through'and'like: • • • • • • •
Galleries Cinemas Cafés'and'coffeeshops Restaurants Shopping'malls The'gym'you'go'to Grocery'stores,'even'these'oRen'have'their'own'Facebook'pages' 42
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on'a'per'branch'level'these'days • Concert'venues Basically'anything'that'is'a'real'place'will'help'you'out'a'liXle'here,'and'make' you'less'threatening'while'at'the'same'2me'keeping'you'mysterious. It'is'obviously'also'possible'to'add'heaps'of'things'like'TVgseries,'musical'ar2sts,' books,'etc,'but'these'seem'to'connect'at'a'different'level,'and'seem'to'not'give' the'same'yield'per'match.
Mutual&friends A'good'reason'for'star2ng'a'fresh'Facebook'profile'for'doing'your'Tinder'work' is'that'you'won't'have'any'mutual'friends'with'your'poten2al'matches.'While'it' might'at'first'glance'seem'beneficial'to'have'a'bunch'of'mutual'friends,' chances'are'it's'not. On'the'upside'you'll'look'like'a'social'being,'and'sharing'friends'might'give'her' the'feeling'that'she'already'knows'you'and'that'you're'safe.'However,'it'also' restricts'her'ac2ons.'What'if'she'ends'up'going'to'bed'with'you'and'your' mutual'friends'find'out?'Mutual'friends'make'it'easier'for'her'to'be'found'out' and'then'subsequently'be'slut'shamed. Mutual'friends'also'make'you'easier'to'stalk'on'Facebook,'and'this'in'turn' makes'it'harder'for'you'to'control'what'she'knows'about'you.'So'seriously' consider'crea2ng'a'fresh'profile'for'doing'Tinder,'as'this'is'a'poten2al'deal' breaker'for'many'women.
Hooks While'short'and'sweet'is'good'for'your'profile'text'and'showing'off'you'is'most' important'in'your'pictures,'keep'hooks'in'mind.'Hooks'are'small'2dbits'of' informa2on'that'pique'her'interest'and'give'her'an'excuse'to'like'you'and' contact'you.'You'can'scaXer'these'throughout,'but'you’ll'do'so'beXer'if'you'do' it'by%design'instead'of'by'accident.
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Consider'for'a'moment'who'you'are'and'try'to'incorporate'some'of'your'story' into'your'profile.'You'don’t'have'to'spell'it'out,'as'small'clues'can'be'more' effec2ve'and'make'people'more'curious. It'is'worth'puQng'explicit'again,'tho,'regarding'hooks: •
•
ShiR'your'hooks'from'the'profile'text'to'the'pictures.'With'this'number' of'profiles'on'Tinder,'you'just'can’t'expect'people'to'actually'read'profile' texts'before'deciding. Don’t'let'the'hooks'be'the'pictures,'just'let'them'support'them.'The' main'focus'of'the'pictures'should'be'you.'This'means,'as'an'example,' that'it'is'beXer'of'a'picture'clearly'showing'you'on'waterskis'just'cruising' than'you'actually'doing'a'backflip'on'waterskis'where'you’re'hard'to' make'out.
Dynamics&of&Tinder&user&mass ARer'a'couple'of'days'of'heavy,'nonstop'Tindering,'most'people'will'actually' have'gone'through'the'user'mass'currently'registered'within'their'search' parameters.'This'means'that'every'day'from'that'moment,'they'will'primarily' be'playing'"catch'up"'with'newcomers'in'their'area. These'newcomers'will'then'get'a'lot'of'aXen2on'by'the'user'mass'that'has' gone'through'all'the'other'profiles. It'is'not'100%'certain'and'might'be'subject'to'change,'but'Tinder'seems'to' stack'people'who'have'already'liked'you'in'the'front'of'the'user'queue'for'you.' This'means'that'every'2me'you'start'off'fresh'with'a'new'profile,'you'll'be'one' of'maybe'10g15'people'that's'exposed'to'a'huge'mass'of'users,'and'the'users' who'like'you'will'be'stacked'in'the'beginning'of'your'queue.'This'makes'a'huge' difference'compared'to'being'one'of'10,000'users;'people'are'more'likely'to' like'you,'especially'if'it's'been'a'while'since'they'got'a'match. In'other'words,'a'fresh'account'is'oRen'a'match'bonanza.'This'also'oRen'comes' into'play'when'you're'visi2ng'new'ci2es;'all'of'a'sudden'you'have'thousands'of' 44
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eyes'on'you. This'is'another'reason'to'experiment'with'different'looks'and'brands'and' recycle'your'account. If'you'are'one'of'the'early'adopters'in'your'area,'the'effect'might'be'different.' As'more'people'register'for'the'service,'you'll'get'a'slow'trickle'of'new'matches' over'2me. Because'Tinder'seems'to'stack'people'who'have'liked'someone'early'in'their' queue,'it'is'a'benefit'to'check'your'Tinder'oRen'for'new'profiles,'as'you'll'end' up'earlier'in'the'other'person's'queue.'People'who'are'new'to'Tinder'will'be' unaware'of'the'insane'amounts'of'profiles'on'the'service,'and'will'get'pickier' as'they'siR'through'hordes'of'people.'GeQng'in'the'queue'early'is'only'going' to'help'you. At'2mes,'you’ll'see'the'user'mass'recycled.'While'it'is'impossible'to'know'for' sure'how'the'Tinder'backend'decides'who'to'expose'you'to'(and'frankly'if'you' did'know,'this'would'always'be'subject'to'change)'these'recycles'will' some2mes'allow'you'to'get'an'onslaught'of'matches,'as'it'seems'you’ll'be' shown'a'lot'of'profiles'that'have'swiped'you'to'the'right'early. This'also'raises'another'point;'swipe'right'early.'The'earlier'you'swipe'someone' to'the'right,'the'sooner'you'will'be'entered'into'their'match'queue.' Newcomers'to'the'service'will'then'see'you'as'one'of'the'first'100'instead'of' one'of'the'first'100,000.'This'makes'it'easier'to'stand'out.
Phone&clients The'main'Tinder'applica2on'is'designed'to'run'on'your'phone'and'tablet. Tinder'comes'with'official'clients'for'iPhone'and'Android.'Get'the'clients'from' where'you'usually'get'your'apps. An'official'client'for'Windows'Phone'is'apparently'in'the'works,'but'there'are' 45
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third'party'Tinder'clients'available'for'purchase'in'the'Windows'Store. There'are'some'third'party'Tinder'clients'out'there,'but'at'the'current'2me'of' wri2ng'they'don’t'really'provide'you'with'any'advantage'over'the'official' clients. The'basic'opera2on'of'Tinder'is'very'simple. First,'go'to'your'seNngs.'Make'sure'the'parameters'match'your'preferences.'I' personally'run'with'full'age'range'and'area'range.'The'simple'reason'for'this'is' that'it'will'give'you'more'matches.'This'is'volume,'as'we'talked'about'before.' This'allows'you'to'get'more'experience'more'quickly,'even'if'the'matches' aren't'necessarily'all'equally'interes2ng. If'you'don’t'like'what'you'see,'swipe'leR'or'press'the'large'X. If'you'like'what'you'see,'swipe'right'or'press'the'large'heart'symbol. If'you'accidentally'swipe'right'and'match'with'someone'you'don’t'care'for,'you' can'block'the'user.'This'will'basically'just'remove'them'from'your'list,'remove' you'from'their'list'and'also'remove'any'conversa2on'you'might'have'had.' Blocking'users'on'Tinder'seems'to'be'an'opera2on'that'isn’t'as'harsh'as' blocking'on'other'services,'so'apply'liberally. Because'it'is'so'easy'to'change'your'mind'aRer'you’ve'matched'with'someone,' but'a'lot'harder'to'undo'a'leR'swipe,'it’s'in'your'interest'to'“err'to'the'right”,' meaning'it’s'beXer'to'“like”'someone'you'don’t'really'care'for'than'to'throw'a' hoQe'into'leR'side'oblivion. When'you’ve'been'on'Tinder'for'a'while,'you'might'find'that'scouring'through' profiles'deciding'who'to'push'leR'and'who'to'push'right'is'just'too'much'work.' There’s'nothing'really'stopping'you'from'doing'things%The%Right%Way(tm)%(not' really'a'trademark),'and'just'quickly'pushing'everyone'to'the'right.'You’ll's2ll' have'a'separate'system'to'capture'who'your'real'targets'are'anyway,'and'if' 46
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people'get'the'wrong'idea,'you'can'always'just'block'them.'In'the'long'run,' you’ll'probably'end'up'here,'as'it'just'saves'you'a'lot'of'2me;'instead'of'having' to'decide'on'all'profiles'whether'you’re'interested,'you'just'decide'on'the'ones' that'are'actually'interested'in'you.'This'might'come'as'a'slap'in'the'face,'but' the'laXer'is'a'subset'of'the'former. Sure,'you'll'match'with'old'women'and'even'guys,'but'it'is'a'beXer'way'to' spend'your'2me'to'only'consider'the'ones'that'actually'like'you'back'than' overinves2ng'in'someone'who's'not'going'to'like'you'back'anyway. This'is'what'I'currently'do. ARer'a'while'it'becomes'a'hassle'to'count'how&many&matches&you&have.'Fret' not,'just'click'the'small'search'icon'at'the'top'of'your'contact'list'and'it'will'tell' you'how'many'matches'you'currently'have;'"Search'N'matches."'where'N'is' how'many'matches'you'have. Tinder'also'has'the'ability'to'create'and'assign'matches'to'different'lists.'You' might'find'these'useful,'but'it'all'depends'on'your'workflow.'For'informa2on' on'how'I'personally'use'these'see'the'sec2on'on'Tinder'lists.
BlueStacks You'll'probably'want'to'have'Tinder'on'your'cellphone,'but'it's'not'a'strict' requirement.'You'can'also'run'Tinder'on'an'Android'applica2on'runner'for'your' desktop.'One'of'these'is'BlueStacks'available'at'hXp://www.bluestacks.com. There'are'some'benefits'to'running'the'client'on'BlueStacks'compared'to'on' the'cellphone.'Let's'look'at'these.'I'would'personally'say'that'everyone'who’s' serious'about'working'Tinder'should'get'an'installa2on'of'BlueStacks'or'similar.' It'makes'a'huge'difference. When'running'Tinder'on'BlueStacks,'you'can'type'using'the'keyboard'on'your' computer.'This'is'obviously'faster,'and'once'you'get'started,'you'll'see'that' actually'being'able'to'communicate'with'speed'is'incredibly'important'for'your' 47
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morale,'as'you’ll'be'dealing'with'large'volumes. So,'no'maXer'if'you'have'a'na2ve'Tinder'client'on'your'phone,'set'up' BlueStacks'or'a'similar'applica2on'player'as'soon'as'possible.'Moving'from'one' client'to'the'next'is'rela2vely'seamless;'you'might'want'to'occasionally'restart' the'respec2ve'clients,'but'moving'from'one'to'the'other'won't'be'no2ceable'to' the'person'you'are'communica2ng'with. Running'Tinder'on'BlueStacks'requires'you'to'"spoof",'a'fancy'word'to'"fake",' your'loca2on.'This'is'mainly'because'a'desktop'computer'seldom'comes'with'a' GPS'unit'of'its'own.'The'good'news'is'that'this'is'easily'achieved'by'installing' "Fake'GPS'loca2on"'from'the'app'store.
This'has'a'huge'upside,'however,'because'now'you're'preXy'much'free'to' choose'your'own'loca2on,'just'type'in'an'address'and'select'"Set'loca2on".' Most'of'the'2me'you'll'want'this'loca2on'to'match'where'you'are'currently'at,' but'there'are'definitely'2mes'when'it's'beneficial'to'appear'to'be'elsewhere.
Tes9ng&images&and&approaches Let's'say'you'live'in'a'city'with'500,000'inhabitants.'Depending'on'the'current' adop2on'of'Tinder'in'this'city,'you'might'have'1,000'females'that'match'your' parameters.'These'numbers'are,'obviously,'fic2onal,'but'depending'on'where' you'are'in'the'world'(and'when),'these'numbers'might'not'be'too'far'off. Now,'given'only'1,000'females,'why'would'you'want'to'test'your'profile' pictures'on'viable'targets? The'short'answer'is:'You'don't. 48
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Enter'loca2on'spoofing.'Pick'a'posi2on'downtown'of'a'similar'city'to'the'one' you're'currently'working'and'test'your'images'and'approaches'there'first.'You' will'have'more'room'to'fail'without'burning'real'prospects,'and'without'having' to'recycle'your'account. In'prac2ce,'you'do'this'by'seQng'up'an'account'that'you'want'to'see'how'well' fares.'Perhaps'one'with'three'pictures,'a'short'and'crea2ve'profile'text.'You' then'set'the'loca2on'that'matches'the'city'you'want'to'work.'In'other'words,'if' you'are'in'New'York,'you'pick'another'American'city'with'the'same'profile,'not' some'place'in'India. You'then'recycle'your'account'and'start'fresh.'Setup'your'search'parameters,' and'in'this'case'you'can'be'more'picky'than'you'usually'are.'If'you'prefer'girls' between'18g25,'enter'that.'In'real'life,'you’d'probably'want'to'extend'that'a' liXle,'but'for'this'test'being'specific'is'beXer. You'then'fire'up'Tinder'the'normal'way,'and'check'your'stream.'Make'leR' swipes'un2l'you'are'sure'that'you'are'indeed'located'in'this'new'city.'It' some2mes'takes'Tinder'some'2me'to'pick'this'up,'so'watch'carefully'the' distance'meter,'and'also'read'profile'texts'if'you’re'not'sure. Once'you’re'certain'that'you’re'in'the'desired'city,'wait'for'a'while.'A'period'of' a'couple'of'hours'is'usually'enough.'The'reason'for'this'wait'is'explained'in'a' common'sec2on'about'user'mass,'but'to'put'it'short:'Wai2ng'for'a'while'will' allow'people'who'have'already'seen'all'the'contacts'in'the'neighborhood'to' check'out'your'profile. Then'you'go'on'to'do'a'nongdiscrimina2ng'right'swipe'for'a'set'number'of' profiles.'A'number'like'100'or'250'is'fine.'It’s'not'important'that'it’s'a'super' precise'amount,'but'the'closer'the'beXer. ARer'having'done'this'ini2al'swipe,'you'stop'swiping,'and'you'let'this'account' simmer'a'couple'of'days.'When'you'log'back'onto'it,'you'should'be'able'to'go' 49
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into'your'messaging'pane'and'click'the'search'buXon.'This'will'enclose'how' many'contacts'you'have. Let’s'say'you'got'40'contacts'from'a'250'person'right'swipe.'This'gives'you'an' ini2al'yield'of'16%'(dividing'40'by'250).'PreXy'good!'Or'is'it?'The'only'way'to' know'is'to'try'the'procedure'again'with'different'data. It'might'sound'like'a'lot'of'work,'but'consider'this.'Once'you'start'preying'on' your'own'city’s'pool'of'women,'you'want'to'have'as'high'a'yield'as'possible.' Loca2on'spoofing'and'split'tes2ng'this'might'take'you'a'week'or'so,'not'ac2ve' 2me,'but'just'wai2ng'2me. This'is'also'a'good'reason'to'have'mul2ple'Facebook'and'Tinder'accounts;'you' can'split'test'while'having'an'opera2onal'local'account'at'the'same'2me. It's'also'a'good'way'to'do'prepara2on.'If'you'need'to'visit'a'neighboring'city'for' fun'or'business,'geQng'laid'can'be'a'nice'bonus.'Just'visit'the'city'virtually'with' loca2on'spoofing'and'set'up'your'matches'ahead'of'2me. Your'contacts'will'be'able'to'see'you'moving'around'with'your'distance' instantly'changing'with'hundreds'of'kilometers,'but'this'is'easy'to'explain'away' if'you'care'to.'"I'm'an'interna2onal'playboy",'"I'm'using'an'unsanc2oned'third' party'client",'"I'am'number'four",'etc.'So'start'visi2ng'new'ci2es'with'ladies' just'wai2ng'to'meet'up'with'you'on'the'very'same'day.
Auto&clicker If'you'adopt'The'Right'Way(tm)'of'doing'things,'meaning'that'you'slam' everything'to'the'right'and'sort'aRer'matching,'why'would'you'do'all'the' clicking'yourself?'It'almost'seems'like'something'a'machine'could'do. Enter'the'auto%clicker,'an'app'that'simulates'mouse'clicks'on'your'computer.' This'will'basically'allow'you'to'set'the'machine'up'to'right'click'all'through'the' night'while'you'are'sleeping.'You'no'longer'need'to'work'be'be'caught'up'with' profiles.' 50
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For'Mac'OS'X,'you'can'find'a'decent'and'free'auto'clicker'here:'hXp:// www.beecubu.com/en/desktopgapps/#iMouseTrick For'Windows,'you'can'find'one'here:'hXp://www.murgee.com/autogclicker/ Both'are'by'the'same'developer'and'have'approximately'the'same'feature'set.' You'can'assign'a'hotkey'to'start'and'stop'auto'clicking'and'you'can'decide'on'a' click'interval.'I'found'that'200ms'works'perfectly'on'my'MacBook. As'this'works'on'your'desktop'it'needs'to'work'with'BlueStacks'or'a'similar' desktop'based'applica2on'runner. Using'auto'clicker'with'a'fresh'account,'with'only'My'calling'card'and'My' profile'text,'I'auto'clicked'through'a'loca2on'in'New'York'City'upper'west'side.' In'8'hours'I'had'1,400'matches.'In'three'days,'I'had'a'whopping'2,500'matches. If'you’ve'visi2ng'a'new'major'city,'make'sure'you'bring'a'laptop'with' BlueStacks'and'auto'clicker,'because'it'will'preXy'much'to'all'the'work'for'you.
Polariza9on When'crea2ng'a'Tinder'profile,'you'might'want'to'polarize.'Polariza2on'means' that'you'make'yourself'more'aXrac2ve'to'some'people'while'at'the'same'2me' you'make'yourself'less'aXrac2ve'to'others. Polariza2on'is'something'different'that'improving'yourself'for'the'majority'of' women'out'there.'General'improvement'is'something'you'should'obviously'do' without'ques2oning'it.'That’s'also'what'we’ve'done'looking'at'the'profile'so' far;'take'some'good'pictures,'stop'making'the'common'mistakes,'test'and'test' again'the'quality'of'your'profile.'This'is'improving. A'blunt'example'of'polariza2on'would'be'to'write'in'your'profile'text'“I'want'to' murder'Jus2n'Bieber”'and'having'a'primary'profile'picture'where'you'piss'on'a' cardboard'cutout'of'Mr.'Bieber'while'receiving'a'high'5'from'your'mate,'who' 51
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happens'to'be'stealing'a'glance'of'your'privates. While'this'will'be'insanely'amusing'to'some'girls,'and'surely'make'them'right' swipe'you,'as'many'or'more'will'be'tremendously'put'off'by'this'display'of'' awesomeness. This'is'polariza2on. To'fully'understand'what'polariza2on'is,'let’s'look'at'what'it’s'not.' If'you'work'in'Silicon'Valley'and'all'your'pictures'are'of'you'in'a'bland'company' branded'pologshirt'and'white'khaki’s,'you’re'not'polarizing,'you’re'playing'it' safe.'And'you’re'doing'badly.'The'majority'of'women'find'this'aQre'dreadful.'A' 2ny'amount'of'women'might'find'this'look,'if'not'alluring,'somewhat'sexy,' because'it'indicates'Valley'money.'But'these'are'outliers,'and'as'such'they' cannot'jus2fy'this'being'polariza2on.'It’s'just'bad. If'you'want'to'improve'on'this,'you'set'yourself'up'with'a'more'interes2ng'set' of'business'casual'clothes.'You'get'a'new'haircut,'beXer'fiQng'clothes,'perhaps' some'clothing'with'some'edge.'This'is'improving.'This'is'not'polariza1on.' If'you'work'in'NYC'and'you'have'some'pictures'of'yourself'wearing'shirts,' fiQng'vests,'sports'coats'and'suits,'you'will'be'polarizing'for'certain'segments.' For'most'segments,'you'just'improved'everything.'You'will'be'polarizing'in' some'age'groups,'because'young'women'will'find'you'too'much'of'a'father' figure.'Some'girls'are'looking'for'that,'others'are'not.'Some'people'might'label' you'as'snobbish'because'you'dress'expensively;'out'of'their'league.'This'is' polariza2on'again,'but'only'for'some'segments,'and'the'more'high'value' women'on'there'will'appreciate'a'stylish'man.'This'is'a'case'of'improving'the' baseline'while'adding'some'polariza2on. If,'however,'you'live'in'the'same'area,'and'show'up'with'four'pictures'of' yourself'wearing'a'kickass'rocker'or'emo'uniform,'you’re'definitely'polarizing.' Girls'are'generally'into'this'look'for'a'number'of'reasons.'Some'might'not'be,' 52
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but'if'we’re'looking'at'numbers'like'50/50,'we’re'star2ng'to'do'some'serious' polariza2on. I’d'recommend'against'having'four'different'pictures'that'polarize'in'different' direc2ons.'Pick'a'direc2on'and's2ck'to'it.'Being'able'to'go'in'all'direc2ons'can' be'a'huge'benefit'socially,'but'don’t'put'it'all'into'a'single'profile.' The'key'message'is'to'show'some'polarity'but'not'in'a'bunch'of'different' direc2ons'at'the'same'2me. Let’s'say'you'have'a'kickass'sleeve'taXoo.'Some'women'love'this,'and'this'is' actually'a'huge'aXrac2on'trigger'with'many.'But'enough'women'don’t'care'for' this'to'the'degree'that'it'can'be'said'to'be'polarizing.'So'you'can'make'one' recycled'run'on'Tinder'where'the'taXoo'is'hidden'behind'layers'of'good' looking'but'conserva2ve'clothing,'and'one'where'the'taXoo'is'prominently' displayed,'pushing'more'of'a'rocker'brand. Obviously,'you'can'do'one'where'you'do'both,'and'you’ll'find'a'lot'of' intersec2ons'like'these'are'incredibly'sexy.'It’s'just'that'some'of'them'are' definitely'not.' Hopefully,'this'will'be'helpful'in'you'crea2ng'a'coherent'and'focused'profile' which'increases'aXrac2on'in'the'broad'sense'(general'improvement)'and' narrowly'(polariza2on).
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Snapchat There'are'two'ways'to'capitalize'greatly'from'Snapchat.'Volume'is'the'first;'you' need'to'rack'up'huge'volumes.'The'other'is'to'branch'to'it'from'other'media,' such'as'Tinder'or'even'Facebook. The'simplest'way'of'stacking'up'large'numbers'is'to'take'notes'of'every'and'all' Snapchat'addresses'you'encounter.'This'is'especially'effec2ve'if'you'find' Snapchat'addresses'on'Tinder,'because'you'know'that'the'people'will'be'preXy' close'to'you. When'working'on'Tinder,'you'll'see'that'people'post'their'Snapchat'address'in' their'profile'text.'In'other'words,'this'is'oRen'available'to'you'prior'to'actually' making'any'match'on'Tinder. As'the'likelihood'of'you'being'exposed'to'someone'you've'recently'like' increases,'it'is'a'good'idea'to'mine'Snapchat'addresses'and'then'bulk'add' them.'This'basically'just'means'that'instead'of'just'smashing'her'address' straight'into'your'Snapchat'client,'you'make'a'note'of'it'into'Evernote. I'll'be'referring'to'your'contact'management'system'as'"Evernote"'from'now' on,'even'if'you've'decided'on'something'else. There'are'plenty'of'benefits'from'doing'this: • Your'Tinder'funnel'will'become'1ght.'The'beXer'you'can'control' your'communica2on'on'Tinder,'the'higher'your'yield'will'be.'If'you' simultaneously'and'uninten2onally'communicate'with'someone'on'Tinder' directly'and'on'Snapchat'in'a'broadcast'manner,'your'communica2on'will'lose' focus.'Avoid'this'at'all'costs. • If'she'is'exposed'to'your'profile'and'recognize'you'from'your' Tinder'profile'picture'and'then'start'receiving'snaps'from'you,'it'seems'a'liXle' try'hard.'Crea2ng'a'2me'buffer'minimizes'this'risk. • You'have'the'op2on'of'adding'more'informa2on'about'the' 54
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contact;'distance'from'you,'first'name,'age,'etc.'This'is'just'good'to'know. Communica2ng'who'you'are'on'Snapchat'is'an'ongoing'process.'You'll'find'that' some'people'respond'a'lot'more'favorably'on'Snapchat'than'on'Tinder.' Learning'to'take'a'good'selfie'is'of'huge'importance'here,'as'there'will'be'many' of'them. Snapchat'operates'with'three'separate'and'dis2nctly'different'ways'of' communica2on. OneLonLone&communica9on&is'messaging'where'the'message'is'obviously' intended'for'just'one'person.'This'is'the'similar'of'synchronized,'lockgstep' messaging'found'in'other'media.'Typically'the'message'will'contain'a'prompt' for'a'response'or'a'response'to'a'previous'message.'It'will'also'oRen'have'text' that'has'some'significance'in'a'con2nuous'discussion.'It'can'be'helpful'to'call' someone'out'by'name,'so'they'know'that'the'message'is'for'them'specifically. A'group&message'is'technically'the'same'as'onegongone'communica2on;'there' is'a'picture'that'is'sent'out'to'mul2ple'recipients.'It'is'just'harder'to'be' contextually'relevant'to'many'people'at'the'same'2me.'These'kinds'of' messages'can'oRen'be'used'to'gauge'interest'in'your'pool'of'targets;'some'will' respond,'some'will'not. Note'that'people'will'respond'at'different'2mes.'The'same'way'you'don't' always'feel'like'ea2ng'steak,'drinking'beer'and'watching'Archer,'girls'don't' always'want'to'get'with'a'hunk'like'you.'So'keep'sending'these'asynchronous' pings'un2l'you're'absolutely'sure'you're'off'her'list'or'blocked,'and'then'you' remove'her.'Unfortunately,'most'Snapchat'clients'have'abysmal'contact' management'features,'so'you'need'to'do'some'work'here'manually. Then'there's'My&Story,'which'basically'allows'everyone'on'your'contact'list'to' see'your'pictures'for'a'period'of'24'hours.'Instead'of'disappearing'aRer'the' designated'2me'period,'the'2me'period'now'indicates'how'long'a'picture' should'be'visible'in'a'2med'and'infinitely'viewable'slideshow. 55
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My'Story'is'a'simple'way'to'communicate'with'a'lot'of'people'at'the'same' 2me.'On'some'clients,'you'can'also'see'who's'checking'out'your'story—again'a' valuable'tool'to'gauge'interest'in'poten2al'targets. There'are'different'"privacy"'seQngs'in'Snapchat.'Some'people'allow'snaps' from'anybody,'some2mes'you'need'to'become'a'friend'first.'I'don't'usually' think'that'much'about'it'and'add'people'and'start'including'them'in'my'mass' messaging'and'also'checking'on'who's'opening'"My'Story"'posts. The'threshold'for'geQng'in'touch'with'someone'on'Snapchat'is'very'low.'Every' once'in'a'while'you'll'find'people'harping'about'who'you'are'and'where'you' got'their'address.'These'people'are'usually'not'the'brightest'of'the'bunch,'as' chances'are'you've'just'mined'their'address'from'their'public'profile.'There'is' no'real'reason'to'ever'fully'close'this'loop. There'are'a'number'of'clients'available'for'Snapchat.'Most'of'these'are'for' phones'and'tablets,'but'they'will'also'run'on'for'instance'BlueStacks.'For'your' daygtogday'work,'I'recommend's2cking'with'the'official'clients'for'IOS'and' Android'and'6snap'for'Windows'Phone.
Save&hacks As'we'men2oned'before,'the'idea'that'the'picture'totally'disappears'is'an' illusion.'Technically,'as'long'as'something'goes'over'the'wire'and'is'decrypted' into'memory,'it'can'be'stored'to'disk. There'are'mul2ple'clients'for'Android'which'also'run'on'BlueStacks'that'allow' you'to'store'pictures,'either'by'dropping'them'to'local'storage'or'email,'or'to' services'like'OneDrive'or'Dropbox. If'you're'expec2ng'to'get'something'interes1ng'(wink'wink,'nudge'nudge),'it's' recommended'that'you'check'out'these'products.'Note'that'once'you'open'a' snap'in'official'clients,'you'won't'be'able'to'open'them'in'these'pirate'clients' later,'and'the'snap'might'be'lost'forever. 56
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Using&old&pictures Some'clients'allow'you'to'add'pictures'from'the'photo'library'on'your'phone.' This'might'seem'like'an'unnecessary'feature,'but'there'are'many'2mes'it's'very' handy.'If'you'look'par2cularly'good'one'day,'store'your'picture'for'future'use' with'new'contacts.'If'you've'managed'to'jerk'up'a'glorious'erec2on,'store'the' picture'and'use'it'later;'it's'hard'work.
GeVng&nudes Many'people'use'Snapchat'to'get'nudes,'amateur'pornography.'You'might'too' if'you're'inclined'to'do'so.'It'is'good'to'be'aware'of'the'sender's'age,'for' obvious'reasons,'as'you'(and'she)'might'be'breaking'the'law. You'll'find'that'because'of'Snapchat's'promise'of'the'pictures'to'vanish,'the' threshold'for'sending'nudes'is'preXy'low,'and'if'this'is'your'cup'of'tea,'go'nuts.' The'standard'techniques'for'momentum,'extension'and'frac2ona2on'covered' later'will'get'you'going.
Sending&nudes Keep'in'mind'when'sending'nudes,'tho,'that'the'pictures'can'be'stored'and' posted'online.'If'this'bothers'you,'don't'do'it.'It'doesn't'really'bother'me. Also,'a'lot'of'women'don't'really'like'the'dicks'of'strangers'flooding'their' screens,'so'in'some'cases'it's'a'good'idea'to'actually'build'up'to'this'gradually' and'have'her'go'first. A'lot'of'women'will'also'claim'not'to'like'dick'pictures'when'in'fact'they'do.' Just'keep'in'mind'that'this'is'an'area'where'it's'good'to'do'some'actual' communica2on.
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Concepts Here'is'a'list'of'the'concepts'used'in'this'book.'Again,'if'they'are'unclear'on'first' read'through,'check'out'the'examples'and'return'at'a'later'point'in'2me.'Some' examples'will'be'interspersed'with'the'descrip2on'of'the'concepts'themselves,' but'as'the'concepts'oRen'2e'into'each'other,'it's'some2mes'not'a'good'idea'to' isolate'the'examples.'This'makes'them'closer'to'what'you'd'see'in'the'real' world. The'list'of'concepts'isn't'really'complete,'as'such.'ORen2mes'you'll'find'that'a' concept'is'overlapping'with'another,'some2mes'you'll'find'that'a'concept'is' known'under'another'name.'Reading'these'concepts,'however,'and'looking'at' the'examples'should'be'more'than'enough'to'give'you'a'basic'understanding' on'how'to'operate'the'most'common'power'tools. If'you'want'to'skip'reading'about'the'concepts'and'go'straight'to'the'usage'of' them,'go'to'communica2on. One'thing'is'hugely'important'to'understand.'You'don't'need'all'these'concepts' all'the'2me.'Some'of'them'are'power'plays.''Also,'most'of'these'concepts'are' universal.'They'aren't'bound'to'online'communica2on'at'all.'It'is,'however,' easy'to'implement'them'in'an'online'scenario,'because'you'get'2me'to'think' about'what'you'want'to'write.'But'it's'totally'reasonable'that'these'things'rub' off'into'your'dates'and'your'everyday'life.'This'is'also'true'for'the'the' communica2ongsec2on.
The&Meaning&of&Your&Communica9on&is&the&Response&You& Get
There's'no'way'to'get'around'this'golden'fact'from'NLP.'It'sounds'complex'but' it's'very'simple. You&say&something.&People&hear&something&else.& What'you're'saying'in'an'interac2on'has'the'meaning'of'the'response'a'person' gives'you,'because'they'tend'to'pick'up'something'else'than'what'you'intend' to'communicate. ORen2mes'it'won't'even'be'clear'to'you'that'your'communica2on'is'unclear' before'you've'been'talking'for'a'long'while,'and'nowhere'is'this'truer'than'in' online'communica2on. If'you'miscommunicate'a'lot'or'if'your'conversa2ons'go'stale,'take'a'good,'hard' look'at'some'previous'conversa2ons'that'you've'had. Check'to'see'that'these'things'are'clear'for'every'line'of'conversa2on: • • • •
Is'there'a'clear'inten2on'behind'what'you're'saying? When'you'look'at'her'response,'is'it'likely'that'the'inten2on'has'been' captured'by'your'communica2on? If'not,'what'is'does'it'seem'to'convey? How'can'you'make'your'communica2on'clearer?
This'even'applies'to'situa2ons'where'you'are'inten2onally'vague;'a'technique' we'll'discuss'in'the'sec2on'about'open'loops. We'll'present'a'framework'later,'so'you'will'probably'never'be'unclear'what' your'inten2on'should'be.'But'you'need'to'train'yourself'to'see'whether'your' communica2on'actually'conveys'your'inten2on.
Making&it&easy There'are'2mes'when'she's'being'a'really,'really'good'girl,'and'she's'just'trying' to'meet'you.'When'this'happens,'try'to'make'it'easy'for'her'to'get'what'she' wants,'provided,'of'course,'that'it's'also'what'you'want.'This'means'that'you' don't'apply'a'bunch'of'these'techniques'that'are'designed'to'create'tension,' increase'her'investment'or'liberate'her. This'2es'deeply'into'the'concept'of'over%gaming,'and'people'seem'to'oRen' think'it's'more'important'to'show'off'"good'game"'than'to'actually'meet'up' with'someone.'Not'having'the'ability'to'make'it'easy'for'girls'to'get'laid'is'not' good'game,'it's'bad'game.'Bad'dog. The'core'concept'here'is'to'make'it'easy,'for'both'of'you.'I'm'not'saying'that' you'shouldn't'be'challenging,'but'everything'about'your'conversa2on'should' be'as'easy'and'natural'to'progress'as'possible.'It'is'oRen'just'a'maXer'of' helping'her'sort'out'logis2cs.'Iden2fy'early'that'you'are'team'players'and'just' help'each'other'out. When'you're'driving'an'interac2on'forward,'it's'a'good'exercise'to'imagine'a' couple'of'poten2al'responses'she'can'make'to'your'input.'If'you'can't'think'of' anything'yourself,'it's'probably'not'a'good'thing'to'say.'You're'making'it'hard.'In' a'sense,'you'can'consider'a'good'conversa2on'a'liXle'like'a'good'game'of' beach'volleyball'where'you're'both'on'the'same'team.'Get'the'ball'high'in'the' air,'posi2on'it'for'your'team'mate.'Allow'them'to'make'the'smashes'every'once' in'a'while.'Make'them'look'good.
Example:&Being&opened,&Katherine Consider'my'calling'card'when'reading'the'conversa2on. K: T: K: T: K:
Love the cartoon. And the Love the love. Let's make Tempting. Good. It's spring, you're Thank you for giving me a
Gibson! love. allowed to be. decent excuse.
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T: K: T: K: T: K: T: K: T:
Let's just make it easy for ourselves. Easy does it. You're one mile away, perhaps we're neighbors. Maybe. I'm at place A. I'm at place B. Pretty close. Let's meet for a cup of tea and see if it holds water. When and where? …decide time and place…
This'example'is'funny,'because'it'shows'of'a'couple'of'concepts.'The'first'is'that' I'try'to'make'it'easy'for'her'to'meet'up.'She's'obviously'making'an'effort,'being' friendly'and'outgoing,'so'there's'no'real'need'to'challenge'her.'I'do'a'quick' sexual'seed,'add'a'liberator'and'then'work'on'logis2cs. Funnily'enough,'we'both'do'some'meta'communica2on.'She'thanks'me'for' giving'her'a'decent'excuse'and'I'steer'the'conversa2on'in'a'mutually'beneficial' direc2on'by'postula2ng'that'we'should'just'make'it'easy'for'ourselves. My'helpful'excuse'makes'it'easy'for'her'to'progress'down'the'path'she'wants' to'go. When'at'all'possible,'make'it'easy'for'each'other.'It'might'not'seem'like'"good' game",'but'recognizing'when'things'are'easy'and'just'capitalizing'on'it'is'an'art,' and'it'will'serve'you'in'many'parts'of'life.
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Strings&aZached You’ve'been'brought'up'on'an'illusion'that'women’s'progression'model'when'it' comes'to'sex'is'something'along'these'lines: You'meet'Mr.'Right.'He'charms'you'and'you'snare'him'in'with'your'allure.' ARer'a'while'he'professes'his'undying'love'for'you,'and'you'enter'some'sort' of'pair'bond.'ARer'you'really'get'to'know'each'other,'you'consummate'the' rela2onship.'By'boning. I’ll'be'the'first'to'admit,'I'love'this'tale.'Many'a'hungover'day'I’ve'snuggled'up' to'my'comforter'with'a'bucket'of'Ben'&'Jerry’s'by'my'side'to'watch'a'chick' flick,'anything'to'play'a'sweet'serenade'on'my'heart'strings.'And'this'happens!' In'real'life!'Every'once'in'a'while.'And'every'2me'it'does,'it'is'infinitely' beau2ful.'The'problem'is'that'it'happens'extremely'seldom'for'a'number'of' reasons. The'first'one'is'that'the'mere'idea'of'“being'right”'for'each'other'is'just'a' discussion'of'to'which'degree'you'are'really'compa2ble.'The'idea'of'“one' person'for'everyone”'is'(obviously)'a'myth. So'the'idea'of'aXaching'strings'to'a'rela2onship'before'you'consume'it'is'not' necessarily'a'good'one.'This'could'be'one'of'those'things'that'seem'very' counter'intui2ve'to'you'if'you’ve'subscribed'to'the'“mainstream”/"Hollywood"' way'of'looking'at'rela2onships'up'un2l'now.'Women'also'subscribe'to'this'way' of'progressing'a'rela2onship,'but'it'is'important'to'understand'that'it'is'a' construc1on.'You'don’t'need'to'follow'this'progression. As'a'maXer'of'fact,'following'this'progression'as'a'modern'man'is'oRen' extremely'unproduc2ve.'If'you'are'in'a'situa2on'where'there'is'mutual' aXrac2on,'it'is'expensive'and'2me'consuming.'If'you’re'in'a'situa2on'where' there'is'not'mutual'aXrac2on,'you'stand'to'be'taken'advantage'of. Worse,'if'you’re'in'a'situa2on'where'there'is'mutual'sexual'aXrac2on,'going' down'this'route'might'kill'this'aXrac2on'as'it'can'easily'come'of'as'needy.'Too' 62
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many'strings'aXached.'She'only'wanted'to'get'fucked'and'you'seem'to'want'to' marry'her.'This'causes'a'lot'of'women'to'steer'clear'of'you. An'ideal'progression'is'one'where'you'create'a'spark,'consummate,'decide' whether'or'not'it’s'a'good'idea'to'move'it'forward'to'something'more'serious' and'take'it'from'there. If'you'find'yourself'oRen'splurging'huge'amounts'of'cash'and'2me'on'women' you'haven’t'slept'with'yet,'know'that'not'only'is'it'expensive'and'a'2me'waster,' it'can'also'kill'her'sexual'aXrac2on'for'you'because'you’re'basically'killing'the' logis2cs'needed'for'a'quick'fling.'When'she'looks'at'you'as'"boyfriend' material"'she'will'probably'not'want'to'get'under'the'sheets'with'you'quickly. Sex'should'“just'happen”'because'it’s'easier'to'ra2onalize.'If'you'aXach'all'the' cliché'tradi2ons'to'it,'you’re'basically'saying'that'it’s'not'going'to'“just' happen”—it'must'be'carefully'considered'and'anchored'in'a'rela2onship.' Ironically,'it'is'oRen'not'good'for'either'of'you'to'have'this'as'a'star2ng'point' for'any'kind'of'rela2onship. Women,'for'the'most'part,'like'dual'channel'communica2on.'There'should'be' enough'there'that'she'can'explain'why'it'happened.'At'the'same'2me,'there' should'be'as'few'strings'aXached'as'possible'so'that'she'can'act'without'having' to'worry'about'long'term'effects'of'her'ac2ons. Strings,'if'you'decide'to'want'them,'are'something'you'can'aXach'one'by'one,' all'in'due'2me.'ARer'sex. This'idea'of'aXaching'strings'spans'a'bunch'of'other'areas'as'well.'Some'girls' will'happily'fuck'you,'but'they'don’t'want'to'be'seen'with'you'in'public.'This' means'you'should'have'an'open'mind'when'it'comes'to'seQng'up'a'meet,'and' not'insist'on'mee2ng'in'a'public'place'first,'even'if'a'lot'of'girls'will'prefer'this' for'the'obvious'added'safety.''But'don’t'be'surprised'if'a'girl'suggests'just' coming'to'your'place.'The'reasons'could'be'many.'She'could'be'planning'to'be' unfaithful,'she'might'think'you’re'too'old'for'her'(but'she's2ll'wants'to'do'you),' 63
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she'might'think'you’re'cute'but'also'fear'that'her'friends'wouldn’t'approve. We’re'not'even'talking'about'a'special'breed'of'girls,'they'all'change'and' behave'differently'based'on'situa2on'and'hormonal'balance.'Girls'will'jump'in' the'taxi'with'you,'come'home'with'you'and'bang'you'and'leave'in'the'morning' without'leaving'a'number.'Or'name.'This'doesn’t'need'to'be'a'reflec2on'of' your'sexual'prowess.'She'could'be'married'or'regret'ac2ng'on'her'whims'for'a' number'of'reasons.'Don’t'dwell'on'it.
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Ask&and&you&shall&receive If'you'want'something,'make'it'known. If'you'walk'around'wan2ng'something'silently,'people'can's2ll'tell.'It'makes'you' come'off'as'low'in'the'pecking'order.'It'shows'that'you're'not'used'to'geQng' what'you'want,'and'that'you've'resigned.' Simply'asking'for'something'or'explicitly'making'your'desires'and'inten2ons' known'signals'the'opposite.'It'shows'that'you're'used'to'geQng'what'you' want.'If'you'had'lived'a'life'of'geQng'"no",'you'probably'would'have'stopped' by'now.'People'are'slow'learners,'but'not'that'slow. This'is'something'different'than'aXaching'a'lot'of'emo2onal'weight'to'the' outcome'of'the'request.'People'high'on'the'pecking'order'are'used'to'geQng'a' no'some'of'the'2me,'because'they'put'themselves'out'there.'But'it'doesn't' phase'them.'They'keep'going'regardless.'Not'in'a'needy'way,'necessarily'asking' for'the'same'thing'from'the'same'person'over'and'over'again.'They're'just'able' to'move'on'and'get'what'they'need'elsewhere. In'line'with'strings'aXached,'you'll'soon'no2ce'that'it's'oRen'beXer'to'ask'for' things'of'a'lusty'nature'than'an'emo2onal'one.'Not'all'girls'are'built'the'same' here,'but'the'progression'seems'to'be'in'general'that'it's'perfectly'fine'to'have' sex'outside'of'a'rela2onship. I'find'that'saying'things'like'"I'just'want'to'lie'next'to'you'and'snuggle"'strikes'a' nice'chord'here.'It'is'physical'in'nature'but'also'has'a'touch'of'roman2c'ritual' without'being'needy.'If'I'gauge'that'they'want'to'take'it'in'a'sexual'direc2on,'I' never'hold'back. This'is'a'recurring'concept'through'the'whole'interac2on,'from'matching'up'on' Tinder,'to'wan2ng'to'meet.'Keep'this'in'the'back'of'your'mind'when'you'read' the'coming'examples,'and'it'will'make'sense'how'to'apply'it. But'never'be'afraid'of'you'desires'as'a'man.'Women'love'being'desired,'and' 65
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they'appreciate'it'when'men'have'the'balls'to'show'it.
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AZen9on AXen2on'is'probably'the'most'important'concept'in'all'of'this,'and'once'you' command'someone's'aXen2on,'they'will'do'your'bidding.'Wow,'that'turned' out'preXy'drama2c,'but'it's'true. This'starts,'on'Tinder,'with'your'profile'grabbing'their'aXen2on'and'ul2mately' being'to'their'liking.'But'unless'you'manage'to'keep'their'aXen2on,'you’re' never'going'to'be'able'to'land'a'meet. At'this'point,'many'people'will'assume'this'means'that'they'need'to'be' extremely'funny'or'pushy.'Nothing'could'be'further'from'the'truth.'Their' aXen2on'comes'from'they'having'invested'in'you.'This'ongoing'investment' creates'a'momentum.'This'momentum'is'then'increased'by'you'adding'to'it,' small'nudges'here'and'there. You'should'also'keep'in'mind'that'your'aXen2on'is%a%form%of%currency,'and'you' should'use'it'sparingly.'This'is'a'huge'part'of'what'screening'is;'using'your' aXen2on'to'reward'good'behavior'and'consequently'taking'it'away'to'punish' bad.
Momentum When'you'start'looking'at'your'interac2ons,'you'll'start'to'understand'the' importance'of'momentum.'It'can'be'hard'to'get'some'of'these'women'to' mobilize'enough'to'actually'meet'up,'and'this'is'why'every'2me'you'make' them'invest'in'your'interac2on,'you'build'momentum,'and'this'momentum' doesn't'last'forever. Basically'this'means'that'you'have'to'tune'your'funnel'so'that'when'you'nail' your'ini2al'interac2on,'you'have'a'2meslot'where'you'can'fit'this'lady,'even'if'it' means'you'need'to'meet'two'or'more'in'a'single'day. It's'a'good'thing'to'match'with'cute'chicks,'and'it's'a'good'thing'to'have'a' pleasant'interac2on'on'your'mobile'phone,'but'when'this'goes'well,'you'need' to'have'an'outlet'in'the'physical'world'where'this'interac2on'can'intersect'with' reality. Ideally,'the'first'2me'you'contact'someone'on'Tinder,'you'll'end'up'seQng'up'a' mee2ng.'Again,'this'means'that'you'need'to'have'2me'to'meet'people.'More' importantly'you'try'to'get'away'from'having'an'online'conversa2on'that'needs' constant'maintenance. The'ini2al'hello'is'a'sort'of'a'spark'in'itself.'The'following'conversa2on'should' be'a'flame'which'increases'investment'and'culminates'at'the'end'of'the' conversa2on'in'an'agreement'to'meet. If'you'haven't'done'this'before'it'might'sound'overly'ambi2ous,'but'the'fact'of' the'maXer'is'that'the'quicker'you'do'this,'the'higher'your'chances'of'mee2ng' actually'are,'because'you'are'u2lizing'the'momentum.'The'opposite'is'to'build' momentum'and'have'it'fizzle'out,'trying'to'"build'comfort"'or'"get'to'know'the' other'person"'while'you'are's2ll'online.'This'makes'it'a'lot'harder'to'actually' meet'up'because'you'need'to'build'the'momentum'every'2me'and'it'sets'the' precedent'that'communica2on'never'reaches'"escape'velocity". Not'being'able'to'maintain'momentum'through'the'funnel'is'a'true'case'of' 68
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"failing'to'plan'is'planning'to'fail".'This'is'absolutely'key'if'you'want'to'get'a' high'yield'from'Tinder. We'll'see'in'the'examples'how'to'do'this'in'prac2ce'in'a'later'sec2on. On'Snapchat'this'is'almost'the'opposite,'as'you're'doing'slow'simmering'of' many'people'at'the'same'2me.'This'is'beneficial'in'situa2ons'where'you're'not' in'the'same'physical'loca2on'(that'is,'city)'but'you's2ll'want'to'keep'the'person' warm.'You'can'easily'manage'a'lot'of'people'this'way'using'different' techniques,'so'momentum'doesn't'really'apply'in'the'same'way'using' Snapchat.
Example:&Steady&momentum&following&qualifica9on&script,&Malory& (24) T: Hi, Malory! Are you ready for your test? M: Hit it T: Superb! What do you prefer, red or white wine? M: Red for fall and winter, white for spring and summer T: Oooh, a complex little miss. Movies or a trip through the park? M: Taking a drive T: What kind of wheels do you have? M: None:) I meant a trip rather than going to the movies T: OK! I have a car, but I've temporarily given it to a friend. It's just hassle when you're living downtown. T: What do you prefer from sushi, steak, chinese and italian? M: Sushi T: Okey, good. Are you little or big spoon? M: I really don't know what that expression means M: ? T: Like, when you're lying next to someone and holding the other person, do you lie on the inside being held (little) or are you on the outside holding (big)? M: Little:) T: Cute. :) T: It says in the profile you're 3 kilometers away, where in
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town are you? M: I'm at school:) the nice working girl district T: Ah, let me guess. You are at Name of School. M: Hehe no, Name of Photography School T: Ah, nice! Canon or Nikon? Or are you the talent? M: Canon, I hope so T: Ah, I am also Canon. But I had two cameras stolen recently, so I am a little sad. T: I am a little skeptical of chatting so much on the cellphone with people I don't know, are you keen on meeting over a cup an afternoon? M: Ow, how is that possible? That sounds nice. T: Oh, we just had a house party and I had two cameras with flashes and lenses lying in the window sill. Suddenly they were gone. SOB. T: There's a new place up where I live, Name of Place. It is pretty nice. M: Sounds good:) T: Cool. I've picked the place, you pick the time. :) M: I'm a student and am flexible:) T: Ah, super. What about tomorrow? M: That can work. T: Cool. I think I'll be ready at around six.
Ok,'so'as'you'can'tell,'I'm'working'from'a'script.'The'script'is'a'preXy'simple' qualifica2on'and'investment'loop,'which'people'seem'to'respond'preXy'nicely' to.'In'this'exact'example,'it'becomes'a'liXle'elaborate,'as'I'try'to'pace'it'a'liXle' slowly.'Whenever'I'see'we'have'some'common'interests,'I'try'to'bake'them' into'the'conversa2on'where'it'makes'sense.'It'allows'me'to'share'a'liXle'bit' about'myself,'and'it'allows'her'to'do'the'same. We'll'see'some'varia2ons'on'this'script'later'on,'especially'in'situa2ons'where' it'isn't'as'elaborate.'We'll'strip'it'down'to'its'bare'necessi2es'to'ensure'there'is' momentum'and'to'create'the'necessary'investment.
Example:&Harnessing&momentum&a_er&a&match,&Marita&(20) This'is'the'whole%communica1on'needed'to'setup'a'meet.'Precursor:'Her' 70
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profile'text'reads: Looking&for&a&solid&sunday&boyfriend;* T: M: T: M: T: M: T: M: T: M:
When on Sunday? What about 1PM? Great. Where about in town are you? Area A. You? Area B. Come to Place A. Ok. It'll be fun. I'm betting on it. I'm sure it'll at least be solid. I would hope so.
This'is'a'great'example'of'going'from'a'match'to'a'meetup'in'really'short'2me.' This'will'obviously'not'work'every'2me,'but'it'shows'how'you'simply'surf'on' the'momentum'created'by'a'match,'give'it'a'liXle'nudge'and'find'an'outlet'in' the'real'world.'This'is'all%that%is%needed'a'lot'of'the'2me.'No2ce'how'the'whole' conversa2on'is'about'me'assuming'she's'on'Tinder'because'she%wants%to%meet% up,'and'there'is'no'gaming.'It's'just'sor2ng'out'logis2cs.
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Screening A'Danish'lady'posted'this'classified'ad'in'the'paper: Seeking'boyfriend I%am%a%70%year%old%woman%seeking%a%boyfriend. He%must%be%49,%55,%56,%67,%70%or%71%years%old%and%be%from%Møn,%Lolland% Falster%or%Vordingborg. Phone#:%XXX,%between%9amD10am,%4pmD5pm%or%7pm%to%12pm. This'might'be'a'liXle'“game'heavy”'for'some'of'you,'but'if'you'manage'to' understand'the'concept'of'screening,'you’re'basically'set.'This'is'the'mother'of' most'concepts'that'are'effec2ve'in'social'engineering. Funnily'enough,'Tinder'is'an'exercise'in'screening:'You'swipe'leR'or'you'swipe' right. Being'swiped'right'means'that'the'person'is'“good'enough”'that'the'person' can'expect'to'hold'some'of'your'aXen2on'and'perhaps'even'hold'you'some' night'and'keep'you'warm. Being'swiped'leR'means'that'the'person'is'doomed'to'an'eternity'of'loneliness.' Obviously,'this'isn’t'true,'but'it'doesn’t'detract'from'the'fact'that'this'is' invariably'what'it'feels'like.'It'doesn’t'really'maXer'who’s'about'to'swipe'you' leR,'it's2ll'hurts. Learning'to'screen'in'communica2on'basically'allows'you'to'command' compliance'through'the'overarching'danger'of'being'“swiped'leR”. If'I'ask'you'what'you'prefer'of,'say,'apples'and'pears,'you'might'think'that'I'just' handed'you'the'screening%frame.'I'give'you'the'op2on'of'screening'out'an' apple,'I'give'you'the'op2on'of'screening'in'a'pear.'In'reality,'however,'I's2ll'own' 72
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the'screening'frame'over'you,'because'me'asking'you'to'do'this'act'is'really' about'me'seeing'how'you'screen.' “I'prefer'apples.” “Oh,”'he'replied,'with'sad'eyes'of'steel. …or… “I'prefer'pears.” “Nice,”'he'replied,'his'eyes'burning'with'fire,'“you’ve'got'great'taste.” In'the'laXer'example,'“you’ve'got'great'taste”'is'an'act'of'screening'someone' in,'s2ll'controlling'the'screening'frame. Screening'is'going'to'be'so'dominant'in'all'your'online'conversa2ons'that'there' won’t'really'be'any'lengthy'examples'without'it.'There'will'be'short'examples' without'it,'where'the'the'whole'interac2on'is'just'a'maXer'of'harnessing'the' momentum'from'the'mutual'screening'that'happened'when'matching,'but' there'is'usually'some'screening'in'all'the'interac2ons'before'a'meet.'In'these' examples,'preXy'much'all'of'the'conversa2on'is'handling'of'logis2cs,'but'that' implies'that'you've'been'mutually'"screened'in". Just'understand'this:'To'have'the'screening'frame'basically'means'that'you’re' the'one'who'decides'what’s'“good”'and'what’s'“bad”.'It'means'that'you'have' the'power'to'walk'away'at'any'point.'Screening'can'be'done'through'screening' someone'in'or'screening'someone'out.'Giving'a'compliment'is'an'example'of' screening'someone'in.'Looking'away'when'someone'is'talking'to'you'is'an' example'of'screening'someone'out.' Both'are'very'effec2ve.'You'don’t'need'to'screen'people'out'to'get'the' screening'frame,'and'screening'out'is'oRen'polarizing. A'way'to'understand'why'screening'is'so'incredibly'efficient'is'described'using' an'analogy.'Let’s'say'you’re'shopping'for'a'house,'and'you'go'to'see'a'house' 73
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that'looked'interes2ng'in'the'paper.' The'house'is'in'a'nice'neighborhood'and'seems,'at'first'glance,'to'be'of'good' standard.'You’ve'talked'to'the'bank'about'taking'up'a'mortgage,'and'they'have' agreed'to'give'you'a'loan.' Now,'this'money,'this'value,'is'virtually'siQng'in'your'bank'account.'And'the' prospect'you’re'looking'at'is'your'poten2al'investment.'Because'you'are' represen2ng'a'huge'sum'of'money,'a'large'value,'you'are'incredibly'keen'on' making'sure'this'is'a'sound'investment.'So'you'ask'ques2ons.'You'double'check' the'plumbing.'You'make'damn'sure'this'is'a'good'estate'to'place'your'value. This'is'screening.'It'implies'that'you'carry'value,'that'you'have'means. People'who'don’t'screen'in'a'housing'situa2on'are'uncommon,'because'they' usually'don’t'show'up'to'even'see'the'house.'Comparing'to'a'da2ng'situa2on' this'translates'roughly'to'someone'showing'up'to'see'a'house'listed'in'the'local' paper,'just'meandering'around'the'house'knowing'that'they'cannot'afford'it,' so'they'really'don’t'need'to'do'a'check'of'the'plumbing.'They'know'they'are' not'going'to'live'there'anyway,'why'bother?'Some'part'of'them'might'hope' that'they'some'day'win'the'loXery'and'can'bring'a'suitcase'full'of'cash'and'pay' it'all'in'one'swoop. And'that'is'the'other'way'to'approach'a'da2ng'situa2on'without'screening.' Ac2ng'like'you'just'won'the'loXery,'and'is'ready'to'invest'in'the'first'house'you' see,'like'a'fool.'This'represents'flee2ng,'transient'value.'It'is'a'different'beast' altogether'than'applying'screening'and'making'sure'you'get'value'for'your' money. Screening'is'power.'It'is'the'most'reliable'way'of'displaying'that'you'represent' real'and'stable'value,'that'you’re'a'chooser'and'not'a'beggar. Screening'is'highly'related'to'how'you'manage'your'aXen2on,'because'in'a' sense,'aben1on%is%your%cash. 74
Dominance Dominance'means'a'lot'of'different'things'to'different'people.'Some'people' associate'dominance'with'being'loud'and'puQng'other'people'down.' Personally,'I'find'that'a'nice'and'workable'defini2on'of'dominance'is'being%able% to%act%without%too%much%considera1on.'In'other'words,'dominance'is'the'typical' mindset'of'the'“go'geXer”. To'understand'dominance'in'this'light,'then,'is'to'be'comfortable'with'the'idea' of'desiring'something.'Wan2ng'to'meet'someone'is'OK.'Wan2ng'to'fuck' someone'is'perfectly'fine.'If'you’re'not'aligned'with'and'accep2ng'of'your' desires,'dominance'becomes'incredibly'hard'to'do'and'will'almost'seem' forced. You'll'see'with'experience'how'you'exert'dominance'in'your'encounters,'online' and'in'real'life.'But'be'wary'of'situa2ons'where'you'second'guess'yourself'too' much.'I'know'from'experience'that'this'might'be'hard'to'do,'but'hopefully'the' examples'in'the'book'have'enough'examples'of'true'dominance'to'make'it'easy' for'you'to'understand'how'to'manifest'them'into'the'real'world. Another'way'to'look'at'dominance'in'a'beneficial'way'is'to'consider'the' rela2onship'between'a'parent'and'a'child.'It's'not'that'a'parent'doesn't'care' for'the'child,'but'the'parent'always'knows'how'to'act'with'mutual'benefit'in' mind.'This'means'that'some2mes'the'child's'immediate'wishes'need'to'be'set' aside. This'gives'a'couple'of'of'key'concepts'that'are'typical'of'being'dominant.'You' tend'to'lead,'you'tend'to'make'the'decisions.'It'doesn't'mean'that'you'don't' take'the'other'person's'preferences'into'account,'you'just'take'ac2on'and' make'the'decisions'that'benefit'you'both.
Overextension It'is'easy'to'overextend,'and'finding'a'sweet'spot'comes'with'experience.' Fortunately,'geQng'experience'with'Tinder'and'Snapchat'is'easy. Overextension'is'pushing'for'a'physical'meet'too'soon.'It'is'asking'her'too'soon' to'divulge'where'in'town'she's'located.'It'is'becoming'too'sexual'too'soon. Understanding'when'you'can'push'on'these'points'isn't'that'hard,'but'it's' important'to'understand'the'concept'of'overextension,'because'you'can' chronically'overextend'and's2ll'have'success.'However,'your'yield'will'be'lower' than'it'needs'to'be.' In'a'way,'you'can'consider'overextending'as'trying'to'create'too'much' momentum'too'quickly. An'example'of'trying'to'counter'overextension'is'crea2ng'a'buffer'between' communica2on'that'has'a'covert'or'overt'sexual'component'and'asking'for'her' loca2on.'It'is'just'too'aggressive,'and'is'easily'shot'down.'Here,'it's'easy'to'see' the'connec2on'between'extension'and'momentum;'you're'trying'to'increase' investment'and'overlap'by'extending'while'keeping'the'momentum.'If'you' extend'too'quickly,'you'will'have'to'do'"damage'control"'or'"retreat";'this'kills' your'momentum. It'can'be'beneficial'to'overextend.'The'more'extension'you'actually'get' compliance'with,'the'larger'momentum'you'build.'This'means'that'you'can'go' from'zero'to'hero'in'shorter'2me'and'also'just'screen'out'a'lot'of'prospects' that'aren't'interes2ng'sooner. In'terms'of'"tradi2onal'game",'this'advice'might'be'flammable,'but'when'you' see'the'girl'of'your'dreams,'try'to'progress'in'a'controlled'way,'because'it'will' increase'your'chances.'Tradi2onal'game'will'have'you'believe'you'should' "game"'all'your'women'fairly'equally,'and'communica2on'with'the'opposite' sex'should'be'the'same'no'maXer'how'much'you'like'the'girl.'You'can'decide' for'yourself'what'makes'sense'here'now'that'you've'seen'both'sides'of'the' 76
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story.' Controlled'exercises'in'overextension'has'a'number'of'benefits.'It'will'allow' you'to'see'what'is'possible:'How'quickly'someone'will'comply'with'your' wishes.'It'will'make'you'beXer'at'con1ngencies:'How'do'you'handle'it'when' someone'tries'to'kill'momentum.'It'will'make'you'beXer'tuned'to'reading'sub' communica2ons'and'this,'like'a'sports'car,'will'provide'you'with'a'broader' spectrum'of'speeds. Controlled'overextension'also'works'as'screening;'you'will'screen'out'girls'who' aren't'necessarily'interested'in'a'quick'fling'early.'This'can'help'you'spend'less' 2me'on'dates'with'girls'who'are'only'looking'for'a'boyfriend'or'only'looking'to' chat'online. Obviously,'if'you'are'looking'for'something'more'serious,'you'need'to'be'able' to'gauge'how'much'force'you'put'in. If'you'match'with'someone'on'Tinder,'you'should'expect'them'to'be'interested' in'mee2ng'you.'This'will'create'a'communica2on'that'is'soRly'and'surely' driRing'in'the'direc2on'of'the'meet.'This'means'that'you'don’t'have'to'push'for' a'meet,'you'just'need'to'suggest'it.'We’ll'get'into'exactly'how'a'liXle'bit'later. Pushing'for'a'meet'when'it’s'implied'is'a'form'of'overextension. To'make'this'point'clear,'imagine'that'you'chat'to'someone'on'a'BDSM'site.' Not'that'you'ever'would,'because'you’re'not'like'that,'but'just'imagine.'Talking' to'people'about'their'sexual'orienta2on'apart'from'the'core'stuff'is'a'form'of' overextension,'because'it’s'already'implied.'If'you'manage'to'communicate' lightly'and'"normally",'their'submissive'side'will'come'out'soon'enough;'it's'in' their'profile'that'it's'there.
Example:&Overextension&because&of&lacking&buffer,&Josie&(19) T: Hi there, Josie! Are you ready for your test?
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J: Hi! What's it all about ?? T: It's just a small and cute little thing, just like you! J: I guess you'll have to run it then :) T: Alright! What do you prefer, red or white wine? J: White! T: Oki! Would you rather go to the movies or for a trip in the park? J: Hm, it depends on my mood :) T: So you like both. :) J: Yes :) T: Great! What do you prefer, italian, sushi, chinese or steak? J: has to be sushi and italian, but that's a tough one! T: Eheheh, OK. Are you big or little spoon? J: did I fail? J: little T: Nooo, you can't fail, we're just getting to know each other. :) T: Ok, I like both. J: Hehe, that's good. T: It says you're 10 miles away, where are you in the world? J: Just outside of CITY :) What about you? T: Ah, I'm in Name of Fairly Well Known Street. J: Oki :) T: I'm a little bit skeptical of chatting too much on the mobile with people I don't know; why don't we meet up for a cup of tea an afternoon? J: Perhaps :) J: Do you meet with a lot of people from here? T: I'm actually pretty new here. Since Monday. T: I just feel like I've done my share of chatting on MSN in the old days, and it often turned out being something of a waste of time. J: Hehe, that's true :) T: Cool. :) We have a new place called Name of New Place. It is surprisingly cosy for being in this neighborhood. J: Cosy :) T: Yeah. :) Are you around here a lot? J: I work in City, so I'm there quite a bit. :) T: Cool, let's just find a day then. But I need to hit the showers, I'm expecting a visitor. Nice talking to you. :)
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J: The same.
This'example'shows'overextension.'It'might'seem'similar'to'the'other'examples' using'the'same'script,'but'no2ce'how'I'ask'her'about'her'loca2on'right'aRer' asking'her'about'spooning,'physical'stuff.'This'can'easily'come'off'as'a'liXle' presumptuous,'and'it'is'a'good'idea'to'buffer'this'with'a'less'sexually'loaded' ques2on.'It'won't'lose'its'power,'it'will'just'increase'your'yield,'because'some' girls'don't'want'to'be'that'physical'with'strangers,'at'least'not'on'paper. A'simple'way'to'remedy'this'would'have'been'to'add'another'qualifica2on' ques2on'between'the'spooning'ques2on'to'desexualize'before'moving'onto' the'loca2on. A'lot'of'girls'won't'mind'at'all'hooking'up'aRer'discussing'physical'stuff,'but' again;'if'you'prefer'yield'over'speed,'you'might'want'to'try'to'not'overextend.
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Frac9ona9on Frac2ona2on'is'a'concept'you'might'know'from'hypnosis,'but'it'is'far'less' mys2cal'than'you'd'believe'given'that'background.'We'll'use'the'term' "frac2ona2on"'fairly'loosely,'but'it's'a'very'potent'concept'when'combined' with'some'of'the'other'we'are'presen2ng. Basically,'frac2ona2on'is'the'idea'that'people's'compliance'is'bendable,'much' the'same'way'a'rubber'band'becomes'more'flexible'upon'mul2ple'extensions. If'you'want'a'rubber'band'to'go'from'having'a'maximum'circumference'of'say' 10"'to'one'of'12",'you'can't'just'pull'it'out'to'12"'straight'away;'it'will'probably' break.'But'if'you'start'by'going'to'10.5"'and'leQng'it'rest,'and'then'move'on'to' 11"'and'leQng'it'rest,'soon'you'll'find'that'it'will'happily'accomodate'the'full' 12",'because'it'has'been'frac2onated'into'doing'to. (If'you'got'a'liXle'bit'turned'on'reading'the'previous'paragraph,'good.) Frac2ona2on,'then,'is'a'technique'where'you'stretch'the'limits'of'compliance' without'fully'reaching'the'breaking'point.'Every'2me'you'stretch'it'into'the' outside'zone,'the'zone'will'basically'extend. This'is'highly'related'to'the'idea'of'momentum'and'overextension;' overextension'can'be'said'to'be'a'way'to'move'into'a'"danger'zone",'and' repeated'overextension'without'reaching'the'breaking'point'can'be'said'to'be' frac2ona2on. Just'for'the'record,'frac2ona2on'when'used'in'hypnosis'most'oRen'refers'to' puQng'people'in'trance'and'taking'them'back'out'of'it.'When'a'subject'is'put' back'into'trance'again,'the'person'will'oRen'go'way,'way'deeper'into'trance'on' the'second'induc2on,'just'like'the'rubber'band'will'extend'further. Part'of'the'reason'why'frac2ona2on'works'so'well'with'compliance'is'that' when'you'overextend'and'back'off,'people'register'the'overextension,'but' backing'off'doesn't'give'them'anything'to'act'on.'This'creates'a'vacuum'in' 80
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which'they'are'prompted'to'protect'their'investment'in'you'by'ra2onalizing'the' overextension.'If'this'is'2med'correctly,'the'next'2me'you'overextend'to'the' same'point,'it'won't'really'be'an'overextension,'because'your'behavior'has' been'ra2onalized'and'therefore'accepted. In'an'ideal'situa2on,'you'll'be'geQng'away'with'stuff'because'"that's'just'who' you'are".'This'is'par2ally'why'girls'let'some'guys'do'certain'things'to'them'(like' sex)'and'other'guys'not,'regardless'of'ini2al'levels'of'aXrac2on. Note'that'there'will'be'2mes'when'you'think'you're'frac2ona2ng'and'you're' not.'The'effect'can'be'preXy'devasta2ng,'as'what'might'really'be'happening'is' that'you're'nearing'the'last'straw,'the'breaking'point.'Again,'experience'will' help'you'separate'these'two'out. The'other'reason'why'people'are'oRen'easy'to'frac2onate'are'because'they' are'doing'a'protec2on'of'their'investment.'If'they'have'been'talking'to'you'for' an'hour,'that's'an'investment'of'2me.'If'you'overextend,'they'tend'to'allow'you' to'back'down'a'liXle'and'restate'your'inten2on,'simply'because'if'you'turn'out' to'be'a'dickhead,'their'one'hour'investment'is'lost.'If'you'can'reestablish'that' you'are'a'sensible'guy'to'keep'inves2ng'in,'they'will'let'you. One'of'the'typical'examples'of'frac2ona2on'is'saving'an'overextension'by' saying'things'like'"I'm'just'kidding".'You'say'something'that's'poten2ally'overly' sexual'or'offensive'and'when'you'no2ce'you'are'overextending'you'go'"I'm'just' messing'with'you".' This'is'going'to'release'tension,'and'while'you'really'don't'want'to'release' tension'without'crea2ng'some'beneficial'momentum'out'of'it'too'oRen,' showing'that'you're'willing'and'able'to'do'so'is'a'good'way'to'make'people'feel' more'comfortable'around'you. I'find'this'way'of'releasing'tension'to'be'a'fairly'blunt'tool,'and'I'don't'oRen' resort'to'it'myself.'I'find'a'beXer'technique'in'general'for'that'of'frac2ona2on' is'appeal'to'ambiguity.'Most'things'can'be'pushed'and'be'poten2ally'sexual,' 81
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but's2ll'be'ambiguous.'If'somebody'reacts'nega2vely'to'your'comment,'you' can'accuse'them'of'having'their'minds'in'the'guXer,'and'you'obviously'meant' the'nongsexual'interpreta2on'of'what'you'were'saying. See'the'sec2on'on'ambiguity'for'examples.
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Investment Investment'is'a'lot'of'things. It'can'be'a'monetary'investment,'but'most'frequently'when'we'discuss' investment'it'is'aben1on%over%1me.'This'doesn't'mean'that'you'need'to'have' someone'focus'on'you'intensively'over'2me,'it'can'be'sufficient'to'have'small' drops'of'interac2on'and'the'bucket'will'eventually'be'full. Investment'is'interes2ng,'because'most'people'will'try'to'protect'an' investment.'
Open&loops An'open'loop'is'like'a'joke'without'a'punchline. It'is,'at'its'core,'an'expression'of'uncertainty.'Open'loops'irritate'the'living' daylights'out'of'some'people,'and'act'as'powerful'drivers'in'most'of'us. Crea2ng'open'loops'is'easy,'and'it's'a'powerful'technique.'Most'material'that' discuss'this'does'so'quite'coarsely.'Open'loops'come'in'all'gradings. "You'won't'believe'what'I'saw'today"'is'an'example'of'a'very'coarse'open'loop. Wai2ng'before'you'give'someone'your'aXen2on'aRer'they'call'your'name,'if' only'by'a'split'second,'is'an'example'of'a'fine'grained'open'loop. Open'loops,'then,'are'a'product'of'2ming'and'availability'of'informa2on.'The' more'vital'the'informa2on,'the'stronger'the'loop. There'is'a'full'sec2on'on'crea2ng'open'loops'later,'I'just'wanted'to'introduce' you'to'the'concept,'as'we'll'need'it'to'discuss'tension.
Tension Tension'is'your'friend.'Not'because'tension'in'itself'is'good,'because'it'is'not.' 83
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Quite'the'opposite.'Most'people'loathe'tension'with'a'passion,'and'will'be' driven'to'release'it.'This'is'why'tension'is'your'friend,'you've'found'a'strong' driver'in'people,'and'as'long'as'you'can'create'it'more'or'less'at'will'and'you' hold'the'key'to'its'release,'you've'preXy'much'hijacked'someones'aXen2on' and'therefore'they'invest'in'you.'See'how'this'all'2es'together? Let's'break'it'down'quickly. Tension'can'be'expressed'as'a'func2on'of'investment'and'uncertainty.'The' higher'the'investment,'the'higher'the'tension.'The'higher'the'uncertainty,'the' higher'the'tension. If'you'follow'this'idea,'a'maximum'tension'situa2on'is'then'where'you'stand'to' lose'your'life'(high'investment)'with'a'50/50'chance'(high'uncertainty).'This'is' almost'the'template'that'most'Hollywood'suspense'thrillers'are'cloning. It'is'a'fortunate'series'of'events'that'we'are'currently'equipped'with'the'tools' to'create'investment'and'uncertainty. It'is'important'to'understand'the'idea'of'tension'release'and'the'2ming'of'it.' Boring'people'release'tension'straight'away.'Some'do'it'because'they' empathize'strongly'with'people'and'have'low'tension'thresholds'themselves. It'is'a'good'thing'to'release'tension'at'intervals,'however.'If'you'don't,'people' will'start'to'ins2nc2vely'shy'away'from'you,'like'they'shy'away'from'people' who'tell'a'lot'of'jokes'that'are'all'setup'and'no'punchline.'You're'the'guy'that' leave'them'hanging'on'a'high'five. There'is'a'technique'called'an'open'loop'handoff.'It'basically'means'that'you' keep'mul2ple'loops'open'and'you'can'close'only'parts'of'them'as'you'open' more.'This'sounds'very'complex,'but'let's'look'at'some'examples'and'see'that' it's'actually'quite'simple'stuff;'most'of'you'naturally'do'this'on'a'daily'basis. To'see'examples'on'how'to'create'open'loops'for'crea2ng'tension'and' 84
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investment,'see'Communica2on.
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Gradual&build A'sure'way'to'manage'momentum'is'to'do'a'gradual'build.'This'isn't'something' that'happens'over'months'or'years,'it'can'happen'in'minutes.'What'signals'a' gradual'build,'however,'is'that'there'are'checkpoints'in'the'interac2on.'You'say' something,'she'responds,'you'adjust'accordingly.'This'goes'both'ways.' Typically,'when'building'gradually,'you'manage'to'balance'her'investment'with' your'extension.'This'means'that'you'make'sure'she's'spent'some'2me'chaQng' with'you'before'you'push'for'a'meet,'for'example.'Again,'not'hours,'months'or' years,'five'minutes'can'be'enough. The'more'investment'you'manage'to'create'in'a'short'2me,'the'quicker'you' can'extend. Again,'gradual'build'isn't'really'required,'it'will'just'increase'your'yield. This'is'one'of'the'places'where'experience'comes'into'play;'you'will'be'able'to' see'windows'more'oRen'and'build'more'quickly'and'certainly.'Not'only'will'you' see'more'windows,'but'you'll'be'familiar'with'more'ways'to'handle'the' situa2on'when'you'fail'to'build'gradually.'You'll'see'ways'to'save'the' momentum'by'doing'frac2ona2on'and'just'being'experienced'with' con2ngencies.
AZrac9on&vs&ra9onaliza9on Regardless'of'what'they'say,'women'will'demonstrably'fuck'almost'anything'or' anyone.'AXrac2on'is'not'a'requirement'for'lust.'This'is'an'absolute'fact;'many' girls'will'allow'things'into'her'vagina'that'she'doesn't'love,'that'she'doesn't'find' aXrac2ve'and'that'she'doesn't'even'like. An'important'part'of'this'is,'however,'her'ability'to'ra2onalize'her'ac2ons. A'very'common'paXern'for'women'is'giving'in'to'desire'and'then'go'on'to' ra2onalize'why'aRer'the'fact.'This'isn't'some'fundamental'flaw'in'women,'men' do'it'too.'And'even'then,'it's'not'a'flaw,'it's'just'how'people'are. You'see,'ra2onaliza2ons'are'in'the'conscious'mind,'where'things'need'to'be' logically'sound.'If'things'aren't,'we'get'what'is'called'a'cogni2ve'dissonance.' You'experience'one'thing'as'being'the'truth,'but'it'doesn't'match'what'we' think'is'logical.'This'can'drive'people'crazy. Enter'our'friend'ra2onaliza2on,'which'is'there'to'build'the'bridge'between'the' emo2onal'and'the'logical. A'woman'can'lust'for'you'as'an'extension'of'lus2ng'for'just'"anything".'She's' "in'heat".'If'she'could'do'so'without'consequence,'she'd'fuck'the'next'guy'she' met'on'the'street.'The'problem'is,'she'cannot'really'do'so'without' consequence,'as'society'would'"slut'shame"'her.'Slut'shaming'is'something' that'happens'for'a'number'of'reasons,'many'of'them'are'highly'unintui2ve,'but' going'into'details'as'to'why'is'beyond'the'scope'of'this'book.'Just'trust'me'on' this'one. Now,'how'does'this'relate'to'you?'Well,'you'can'help'her'ra2onalize'her' ac2ons,'thereby'making'it'easier'for'her'to'break'down'the'gap'between'the' emo2onal'and'the'intellectual. A'good'technique'is'to'give'her'ra2onaliza2on'food.'If'you'ask'her'home'to'a' coffeeshop'on'the'Upper'West'Side'(or'whatever'cons2tutes'as'being'a'swanky' 87
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neighborhood)'and'she'wanted'to'meet'you'in'the'first'place,'this'gives'her' ammuni2on'for'her'future'ra2onaliza2on'exercise. She'can'give'in'to'her'desires,'have'sex'with'you.'When'her'girlfriends'confront' her'with'it,'she'can'say'"Well,'first'he'took'me'to'Albert's'on'49ÄÅ'street".'Her' friends'will'swoon,'"Ooooh,'Albert's".'Then,'as'you'keep'feeding'her'logical' reasons'why'it's'OK'to'have'sex'with'you,'her'story'will'be'easier'to'tell'her' friends,'and'there'will'be'less'slut'shaming. You'can'pick'up'the'bill,'even'if'it'is'for'two'cups'of'tea.'She'can'then'tell'her' friends'that'"Yeah,'he'paid'for'the'whole'thing",'and'make'it'more'acceptable' to'have'sex'with'you.'I'd'recommend'not'picking'up'a'huge'meal'on'the'first' date,'because'this'could'easily'work'against'its'purpose'and'she'feels'that'she' owes'you'something.'You'want'to'liberate'her'by'helping'her'ra2onalize,'not' bind'her'by'puQng'her'in'debt. This'is'not'a'"display'of'higher'value"'(DHV)'in'the'tradi2onal'sense,'where'you' take'a'girl'to'Albert's'to'impress'her'and'make'her'aXracted'to'you.'This' doesn't'really'work'the'way'you'expect'it'to.'The'purpose'is'to'give'girls'who' already'want'to'have'sex'with'you'an'opportunity'to'do'so'by'removing'the' hurdles.' This'has'nothing'to'do'with'aXrac2on'and'"value",'just'help'her'ra2onalize'her' ac2ons. Note'that'she'will'oRen'tell'you'straight'out'what'she'needs'from'you'to'be' able'to'ra2onalize'things.'To'the'untrained'eye,'this'might'seem'to'shit'tes2ng' or'gold'digging,'but'oRen'she’s'actually'giving'you'her'blueprint'for' ra2onaliza2on.'If'you'are'of'the'“I'put'up'with'no'bullshit”gpersuasion,'make' sure'you’re'not'lowering'your'yield'simply'because'you’re'not'accommoda2ng' her'ra2onaliza2on'needs. The'interes2ng'counterpoint'to'her'telling'you'is'that'you'can'oRen'tell'her' how'to'ra2onalize.'ORen,'a'girl'will'be'horny,'actually'most'of'them'are'most'of' 88
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the'2me.'If'you'tell'her'that,'say,'you'read'an'ar2cle'in'Vogue'about'how'sex'is' healthy,'you're'helping'her'ra2onalize.'It's'easy'to'say'things'like'"It'is'what'you' want'to'do",'and'what'you're'really'accomplishing'is'bridging'the'logical'and' emo2onal.
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Compliance&ladder A'compliance'ladder'is'something'you'can'build'out'of'thin'air. If'you'ask'people'to'do'something'for'you'that's'easy'to'comply'with,'chances' are'they'll'do'it.'This'is'doubly'true'for'people'you'just'met'who'want'to'make'a' good'impression'on'you. If'people'comply'to'one'request,'they'are'more'likely'to'comply'to'future' requests.'This'is'an'effect'called'"Commitment'and'Consistency".'People'want' to'stay'consistent'with'previous'commitments. This'allows'you'to'gradually'ask'them'to'jump'through'hoops'of'increasing' investment,'as'they'want'to'stay'consistent'with'the'hoops'they've'previously' jumped'through. Compliance'ladders'can'be'used'in'conjunc2on'with'frac2ona2on'to'make' people'do'any'number'of'things,'and'this'technique'should'be'in'your'arsenal. This'is'also'oRen'referred'to'a'"yes"gladder;'if'you'ask'a'ques2on'people'tend' to'answer'"yes"'to,'they'will'more'likely'answer'yes'to'the'next'ques2on'also.' T: H: T: H: café T: H:
Do you like the springtime? Yes. Me too. Have you done anything fun in the sun? Yes, me and a friend was out yesterday having a beer at a in the sun. Ah, spring just provides this nice feeling in the body. Yes, I agree.
Statement&of&intent The'statement'of'intent'is'extremely'important,'and'it'should'be'used'preXy' early.'It'is'a'preXy'solid'way'of'making'sure'that'the'conversa2on'doesn't'go' stale. Tinder'has'an'implied'statement'of'intent'in'that'you'can'only'communicate' with'people'you'have'matched'with.'Looking'at'your'implicit'expecta2ons,'this' means'that'when'you'actually'match'with'someone,'you'can'expect'there'to' be'an'underlying'inten2on'of'mee2ng'up'with'the'other'person,'and'that'the' main'focus'should'be'logis2cs'from'this'point'on. It'is'a'good'idea'to'restate'your'intent'aRer'having'met'someone.'Again,' considering'that'you'present'yourself'as'a'“menu'of'op2ons”,'you'sta2ng'your' interest'in'the'girl'just'basically'creates'another'item'on'the'menu'for'her'to' pick'when'she'wants/needs/craves'it.' If'you'met'a'girl'for'a'date'and'she'didn’t'really'seem'that'into'you,'clearly' sta2ng'your'interest'in'her'might'do'one'of'many'things.'She'could'get'lonely,' drunk,'horny,'whatever,'and'she'could'end'up'picking'you'just'because'you'are' available.'If'you'state'your'intent'and'back'off,'she'gets'a'feeling'that'she'can' get'you'with'no'strings'aXached.' Sta2ng'your'intent'with'a'girl'will'also'raise'your'value'with'her'and'increase' her'aXrac2on'to'you.'This'is'a'very'simple'effect'where'something'just' becomes'more'interes2ng'once'it's'immediately'aXainable.' I'just,'the'other'day,'flipped'through'my'Tinder'contact'list,'and'this'girl' contacted'me'at'1:30AM'Friday'night,'wondering'where'I'was.'I'looked'at'her' pictures,'and'she'looked'OK,'nothing'special,'but'decent'enough.'I'told'her'I' was'at'home.'She'told'me'she'was'at'a'pub'we'had'both'liked'on'Facebook.' She'asked'me'to'come'down'and'meet'her.'I'told'her'I'was'probably'staying'at' home,'and'she'said'that's'too'bad'I'was'not'mee2ng'up'when'she'was'just' looking'to'get'laid.
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Looking'at'her'pictures'again,'she'looked'beXer.'There'was'a'definite'"I'd'do' her"'line'of'thinking'going'on'in'my'head;'what'was'previously'just'a'set'of' decent'pictures'of'an'unknown'girl'had'all'of'a'sudden'become'a'probable'and' available'sexual'encounter'and'therefore'a'lot'more'interes2ng. Before'she'made'her'inten2on'clear,'she'was'just'a'girl'that'I'could'run'through' my'funnel,'puQng'in'this'and'that'amount'of'work'with'a'decent'chance'of' geQng'to'the'end'game.'Now,'the'whole'menu'was'blown'open,'and'she' represented'a'completely'different'risk/reward'and'workload/yield'scenario. This'is'the'same'effect'you'll'have'when'you'make'statements'of'intent.'Who' you'are'won't'change,'but'what'you'represent'in'terms'of'opportunity'will.'' This'is'a'part'of'a'larger'topic'I'refer'to'as'experience%design,'where'what'you' do'is'control'how'she'is'seeing'you,'how'she'perceives'you'in'terms'of' opportunity'for'new'experiences.
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Expecta9ons&drive&percep9on Have'you'ever'no2ced'that'when'you'meet'someone'who’s'wearing'a'shirt'and' 2e,'you'kind'of'expect'them'to'be'a'liXle'stuck'up?'Or'when'you'talk'to'a'guy'' who'wears'white'face'makeup,'has'long,'black'hair'and'has'a'Tgshirt'that'spells' out'“let’s'sacrifice'toddlers'to'Satan”,'you’re'somewhat'baffled'when'it'turns' out'they'sell'curtains'during'the'day?'Who'would’ve'thought'that'this'business' of'sacrifice'isn’t'a'full'2me'job? There'are'two'funny'effects'at'work'here. First,'if'two'people'say'the'same'thing,'and'one'looks'like'he’s'a'liXle'stuck'up,' you’ll'perceive'the'thing'coming'from'the'person'who'looks'a'liXle'stuck'up'as' being'a'liXle'stuck'up. I’ve'dabbled'a'bit'in'sound'engineering,'and'nowhere'is'this'as'prominent'as' this.'The'discussions'are'endless,'and'people'claim'one'file'sounds'beXer'than' another,'even'if'they'are'iden1cal.'“Mix'with'your'ears'and'not'your'eyes”'is'a' mantra,'and'many'a'2me'have'I'sat'for'minutes'tweaking'a'knob'on'a'music' track,'geQng'closer'and'closer'to'the'op2mal'result,'only'to'find'out'that'the' knobs'I'am'working'on'are'bypassed;'they'do'not'affect'the'signal'in'any'way. But'I'swear,'I%could%hear%the%difference.'This'is'because'my'expecta1ons%drive% my%percep1on. The'second'funny'effect'is'that'if'you'talk'to'a'person'you'expect'to'be'a'snob' and'he'treats'you'with'normal'courtesy,'you'get'a'dissonance.'You’re'likely'to' perceive'this'person'as'being'way%more%friendly'than'a'person'you'would' consider'to'be'friendly'in'the'first'place. You'see'this'oRen'in'fic2on.'The'bad'guy'who'has'a'change'of'heart'wins' everyone'over,'oRen'turning'out'beXer'liked'than'people'who'have'been' behaving'well'all'along. Both'these'effects'steer'you'in'a'single'direc2on:'It’s'beXer'to'act'“normal”,' 93
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meaning'to'act'as'if'you’re'in'the'centre'of'the'spectrum'of'behavior,'than' trying'to'“milk”'whatever'expecta2ons'your'polariza2ons'hint'at. If'you’re'polarizing'in'the'bad'boy'direc2on'and'act'normal,'she’ll'aXribute' some'bad'boy'things'to'your'normal'communica2on.'You'don’t'have'to' overact;'in'fact,'if'you'do'you'will'probably'hurt'your'bad'boy'image.'The' reason'for'this'is'simple:'You'won’t'see'a'person'who'has'a'million'dollars'in'his' checking'account'flipping'burgers'at'McDonald’s.'He'simply'doesn’t'have'to.' Similarly,'you'won’t'see'a'real'bad'boy'ac2ng'“bad'boyish”'over'the'way'he'is' naturally.'The'same'reason;'he'simply'doesn’t'have'to.'The'point'has'been' made.'The'same'way'you’d'expect'a'person'to'have'no'money'at'all'if'he'flips' burgers,'you’d'start'ques2oning'the'actual'bad'boy'level'of'someone'trying'to' drive'a'point'home. Just'don’t'do'it. If'you’re'polarizing'in'the'bad'boy'direc2on'and'do'something'nice,'she’ll'think' it’s'really,'really'nice.'You'can'see'this'effect'a'lot'of'places.'Bikers'Against'Child' Abuse'Interna2onal'is'one'of'these'places,'where'the'juxtaposi2on'of'the' expecta2on'of'a'biker,'be'it'gang'violence,'drug'dealing,'etc,'against'the'caring' act'of'figh2ng'child'abuse'just'creates'a'much'more'powerful'combina2on.'Had' it'been'Nuns'Against'Child'Abuse,'you'might'not'have'raised'an'eyebrow. This'effect'is'also'at'work'when'you'meet'someone'in'person'for'the'first'2me.' If'you'manage'to'come'within'range'of'the'pictures'she's'seen'of'you'online,'no' maXer'how'processed'they'are,'she'will'snap'into'perceiving'you'as'being'that' guy.'I'refer'to'this'a'liXle'later'as'closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and' product,'but'you're'basically'trying'to'avoid'crea2ng'dissonance.'As'long'as'you' fall'within'range,'her'expecta2ons'will'drive'her'percep2on'of'you'in'a' beneficial'direc2on.
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Commitment&and&consistency Commitment'and'consistency'is'the'simple'effect'that'people'tend'to'be' consistent'with'their'past'choices.'If'you’ve'bought'an'iPhone,'you'tend'to'love' it'to'protect'the'commitment'you'made'earlier.'This'is'a'sort'of'a'defence' mechanism'to'help'you'from'constantly'second'guessing'yourself'and'keep'you' from'going'insane. Commitment'and'consistency'can'be'used'offensively,'however.'If'you'make' someone'commit'to'something,'they'will'want'to'be'consistent'with'it'in'future' communica2on.'So'if'you'make'them'commit'to,'say,'being'adventurous,'future' ac2ons'will'more'likely'be'in'line'with'this'adventurous'image'they'are' projec2ng. You'can'call'back'to'prior'commitments'in'conversa2on'to'spike'this'tendency' in'people.'You'can'also'use'it'as'a'basis'for'your'compliance'ladder. Let's'say'a'girl'asks'you'to'meet'you'on'Friday,'and'then'she'gets'a'last'minute' thing'she'needs'to'aXend,'so'she'has'to'flake.'She'has'not'been'consistent'with' her'commitment.'If'you'bring'this'up'when'you'meet'her'the'next'2me,' showing'a'small'amount'of'doubt'that'she'is'the'kind'of'girl'who'follows'up'on' her'commitments,'she's'more'likely'to'do'so'in'the'future.
Hurdles If'both'guys'and'girls'are'walking'around'being'perpetually'horny,'how'come' we'don't'act'out'on'more'of'our'inclina2ons?'As'it'turns'out,'society,'friends' and'family'have'a'tendency'to'try'and'put'up'hurdles'for'us.'In'a'sense,'when' you'start'looking'at'the'game'of'seduc2on'as'the'act'of'removing'hurdles'and' not'one'of'crea2ng'aXrac2on,'your'results'are'likely'to'skyrocket. A'lot'of'the'concepts'in'this'sec2on'are'made'to'keep'the'girl'around'for'long' enough'for'you'to'remove'these'hurdles.'Things'like'"I'don't'go'to'bed'with' guys'on'the'first'date"'are'a'result'of'these'hurdles.'Let's'face'it,'it's'perfectly' reasonable'that'you'don't'really'know'someone'aRer'three'or'even'five'dates.' It's'just'that'when'a'girl'has'been'on'five'dates'with'someone,'she's'"paid'her' dues".'Nobody'can'accuse'you'of'doing'anything'wrong.
Slut&shaming Society'has'created'an'interest'in'shaming'girls'who'exhibit'"sluXy"'behavior.' This'isn't'necessarily'just'guys'labelling'guys'as'sluts,'but'females'are'notorious' for'shaming'other'girls'for'being'sluts.' From'a'prac2cal'pointgofgview,'slut'shaming'seems'to'be'designed'to'keep' women'from'ac2ng'on'their'sexual'impulses,'and'by'and'large'it'seems'to' work. Helping'her'ra2onalize'things'will'remove'her'fear'of'slut'shaming.
Logis9cs Your'fiercest'enemy'is'going'to'be'logis1cs.'You'll'be'in'different'places' physically,'on'different'sleep'cycles'and'among'people.'We’ll'be'giving'the' concept'of'logis2cs'a'fairly'thorough'treatment'later'on,'but'this'is'one'of'those' areas'where'you'need'to'be'a'liXle'inven2ve'and'explore'the'different'op2ons' you'have,'because'your'situa2on'in'life'is'very'different'from'mine. Logis2cs'is'hard,'it's'probably'what'is'going'to'occupy'most'of'your'2me'in'the' real'world,'apart'from'going'on'dates. 96
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People'oRen'refer'to'"good'logis2cs"'as'owning'a'cool'pad'dead'center'of' down'town,'but'this'is'an'oversimplifica2on.'Logis2cs'is'everything;'where'and' when'you'meet,'where'this'loca2on'is'compared'to'your'home,'the'state'of' your'bedroom'and'the'distance'from'the'place'where'you'offer'her'a'glass'of' wine'when'you'get'her'home'to'a'place'you'can'make'out. Whenever'you'are'considering'going'from'virtual/online'communica2on'to'a' physical'meetup,'you'have'logis2cal'considera2ons.'Whenever'you'occupy'the' same'space,'you'have'logis2cal'considera2ons. Making'sure'your'logis2cal'situa2on'is'everything'from'knowing'when'you'have' the'2me'to'meet'someone'to'keeping'a'clean'room.'From'knowing'which' places'in'your'neighborhood'are'suitable'for'mee2ng'up'to'making'sure'you' have'wine'in'the'refrigerator.'Not'all'of'these'are'going'to'be'relevant'at'all' 2mes,'but'it's'a'superb'investment'of'2me'to'have'a'conscious'rela2onship' with'your'logis2cal'situa2on. You'can'consider'logis2cs'the'core'of'everything.'You'have'an'open'slot'on' Monday'at'7PM.'You'want'to'meet'a'girl'in'that'2me'slot.'This'is'a'logis2cal' issue.'Your'inten1on'will'then'try'to'correct'this'logis2cal'problem,'and'the' funnel'is'a'tool'to'guide'your'inten2on. If'you're'siQng'with'a'girl'at'your'favorite'café'and'you'want'her'in'your' bedroom,'you're'having'a'logis2cal'issue. The'problem'with'logis2cs'is'that'everyone's'situa2on'is'bound'to'be'different.' If'you'have'a'place'near'your'apartment,'it'can'be'good'to'ask'her'to'meet'you' there.'You'll'be'there'oRen,'get'to'know'the'help.'All'this'will'help'out'your' logis2cal'situa2on.'If'you're'close'to'your'home,'you'can'easier'extract'her'up' there,'or'even'have'her'meet'you'there'before'you'go'to'the'place.' A'lot'of'the'examples'from'Tinder'chat'address'the'issue'of'just'sor2ng'out' logis2cs;'finding'a'place'and'2me'to'meet.' 97
Expecta9ons Expecta2ons'are'important.'You'should'have'a'conscious'rela2onship'with'your' expecta2ons'when'communica2ng'with'people,'and'allow'them'to'be'a'base' note'in'all'communica2on. You'should'have'some'implicit'expecta2ons'as%a%mindset.'On'Tinder,'I'like'to' have'the'expecta2on'straight'off'the'bat'that'a'match'means'that'she'wants'to' meet'me'as'soon'as'possible.'This'just'makes'sense.'It'is'important'that'you' somehow'expect'Tinder'to'be'different'and'beber'than'the'other'services.'You' expect'it'to'deliver'where'no'other'service'has'delivered'before'it. Expecta2ons'become'visible'in'communica2on,'either'implicitly'or'explicitly.' There'are'some'very'neat'ways'to'do'this'that'will'be'enclosed'in'the'coming' sec2ons.'But'this'is'key;'even'the'bluntest'way'of'communica2ng'your' expecta2ons'will'be'beXer'than'not'communica2ng'expecta2ons'at'all.'Failing' to'have'and'communicate'expecta2ons'is'one'of'the'the'reasons'why'some' conversa2ons'become'totally'aimless'and'fizzle'out. Communica2ng'your'expecta2ons'with'others'and'communica2ng'what'they' can'expect'in'you'can'be'referred'to'as'expecta1ons%management.'When' mee2ng'people,'good'to'great'expecta2ons'management'will'make'your' results'skyrocket.'This'is'some2mes'referred'to'as'game%dynamics. We'll'go'in'depth'as'to'which'expecta2ons'you'want'to'communicate,'which' you'want'to'totally'shy'away'from'and'for'what'reasons,'in'the'coming' sec2ons. It'is'a'bad'idea'to'bring'up'her'expecta2ons'to'your'brewing'rela2onship'early'' in'the'communica2on.'This'is'because'she'll'be'expected'to'say'that'she'wants' a'steady'rela2onship,'because'she's'afraid'of'being'slut'shamed,'while'she' really'just'wants'a'fling.'This'will'kick'in'her'need'to'be'consistent'with'this' commitment'later,'and'she'will'feel'the'need'to'show'that'she's'in'"find'a' boyfriend"gmode.
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The'alterna2ve'to'this'is'doing'dual'communica2ons'with'ambiguity.'When' you've'built'enough'trust,'she'll'be'happy'to'reveal'that'she's'not'really'looking' for'a'rela2onship'right'now,'she's'rather'looking'for'something'that'might'turn% into'a'rela2onship,'but'always'with'the'choice'of'exi2ng.
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Leaving&on&a&high Conversa2ons'oRen'need'to'be'opened'and'closed,'because'you'can’t'simply' talk'to'someone'forever.'A'typical'mistake'to'make'is'to'milk'the'conversa2on' for'what'it’s'worth'trying'to'increase'investment'on'her'part.'All'conversa2ons' have'their'ebbs'and'flows,'high'and'lows.'A'trick'to'strengthen'the'quality'of' the'open'loop'introduced'by'temporarily'stopping'a'conversa2on'is'to'end%it%on% a%high. This'is'always'second'to'culmina2ng'the'momentum'in'a'physical'meet'or' making'the'rela2onship'sexual,'but'some2mes'the'logis2cal'situa2on'simply' isn't'there.'
S9gma9za9on There'are'a'bunch'of'socially's2gma2zed'concepts'that'are'begging'to'be'used.' This'is'extremely'obvious'on'Tinder.'In'the'2me'I’ve'been'there,'I’ve'seen'a'lot' of'profile'texts'that'are'varia2ons'on'the'following: We’ll lie about where we met.
There'is's2ll'a'general's2gma2za2on'of'mee2ng'on'online'da2ng'services.'Even' if'this'is'oRen'used'humorously'and'it’s'becoming'less'and'less'common,'like'a' joke'that'has'just'been'told'too'oRen,'it'is'funny'because'it'taps'into'a'real' s2gma.'You'can'use'this. When'talking'to'someone,'I'extremely'oRen'use'this'line,'almost'verba2m: I’m a little skeptical of talking to people on the mobile phone for hours on end; do you want to meet up over a cup of tea an afternoon?
The'beauty'of'this'is'that'they'are'a'liXle'skep2cal'of'using'da2ng'services'as' well.'It’s'not'exactly'the'standard'Hollywood'romance.'And'frankly,'up'un2l' now,'it'has'been'a'liXle'lacklustre.'It'also'sets'up'a'very'effec2ve'screen. It’s'a'good'idea'to'secure'some'investment'before'pushing'for'a'meet'this'way,' and'obviously'the'ac2vity'and'place'can'be'tweaked,'but'the'idea'is'solid,'and' this'is'a'real'power'play. At'2mes'you’ll'get'some'resistance;'I want to get to know you better first.'But'that’s'just'the'point,'you'aren’t'really'geQng'to'know' each'other.'It’s'just'leXers'on'a'screen.'It’s'all'virtual.'This'makes'it'easy'to' shoot'down'by'saying'just'that. Also,'by'making'the'inten2on'to'meet'up'clear'early,'you'weed'out'people'who' are'just'on'the'service'to'bask'in'the'glory'of'another'egogfeeding'match'frenzy,' or'people'who'just'want'to'pass'2me'by'tex2ng'to'strangers.'Avoid'these'like' 101
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the'plague,'as'they’ll'only'waste'your'2me,'unless'you'are'looking'for'the' same,'in'which'case'you'are'was2ng'your'2me'reading'this'book.
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Priming Priming'is'a'powerful'concept'where'you'sow'some'seeds'for'later'reaping.'In'a' way,'priming'is'a'sister'of'frac2ona2on,'but'it'is'usually'applied'over'2me,'and' while'frac2ona2on'is'typically'done'to'allow'for'an'increase'in'pressure'over' 2me,'priming'is'usually'done'in'drips'to'gently'nudge'the'outcome'of'decision' making.' You'typically'use'priming'to'do'sexual'seeding.'This'can'be'done'both'covert' and'overt,'and'we’ll'look'at'some'examples'of'both. In'a'way,'priming'can'be'looked'at'as'a'way'of'ac2vate'certain'associa2ons.'If' you'see'a'red'apple,'you'might'think'of'the'company'apple,'New'York'City'(the' big'apple),'a'farm'you'went'to'as'a'child,'and'so'on. I'oRen'put'weird'sexual'objects'in'the'background'when'I'send'Snapchat' messages.'A'girl'can'snap'a'picture'of'her'dinner,'and'I'reply'with'an'orange'on' my'table'with'the'book'“How'to'become'a'Great'Lover”'in'the'background.'It’s' not'even'prominent'and'might'be'slightly'out'of'focus,'but'it'makes'a'dull' picture'either'funny'or'sugges2ve'or'both,'depending'on'which'level'it'registers' at.'As'with'anything,'don’t'go'overboard. A'girl'I’d'been'having'sex'with'commented'on'a'“fly'swaXer”'I'had'on'my'night' stand.'I'had'purposefully'leR'it'there'a'couple'of'night'she'came'over'prior'to' her'men2oning'it.'It’s'not'really'a'fly'swaXer'but'a'light'paddle'used'for' disciplining'bad,'bad'girls.'This'sparked'a'conversa2on'where'she'admiXed'to' being'turned'on'by'being'dominated'in'bed,'and'how'she'was'into'trying'it. The'friend'zone'oRen'happens'to'people'who'don't'know'how'to'prime'their' interac2ons'as'sexual'or'manage'communicate'in'the'slightest'that'sex'might' happen.'You're'not'on'Tinder'to'make'friends,'nobody'is,'so'it's'actually'preXy' hard'to'end'up'friend'zoned'on'Tinder;'everything'will'be'sexually'primed. There'are'a'number'of'things'you'can'do'to'prime'the'interac2on'early'and' oRen.'One'of'them'is'the'girl'code'language'covered'in'a'later'chapter.' 103
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Spreading&ac9va9on A'lot'of'people'think'that'in'order'to'get'a'point'across,'you'need'to'do'direct' communica2on'and'have'a'clear'message.'This'is'oRen'inferior'to'doing' something'called'spreading&ac9va9on.'Instead'of'having'one'message'that'is' explicit,'you'can'have'many'messages'that'build'on'each'other,'and'strengthen' each'other'even'if'they're'not'the'same'message. Girl'code'language'in'its'many'forms'is'a'form'of'spreading'ac2va2on'in'itself.' Combine'it'with'momentum,'ambiguity'and'a'liXle'bit'of'well'designed' priming,'it'won't'take'long'before'she'starts'to'get'the'message'even'if'it'hasn't' been'communicated'explicitly.'Small'pieces'of'the'puzzle'creates'an'implicit' message'when'combined. Spreading'ac2va2on'works'by'bypassing'our'conscious'mind.'Our'unconscious' mind'can't'help'but'fit'the'pieces'together,'however. Spreading'ac2va2on'works'because'of'how'our'minds'are'put'together.' Knowledge'is'stored'in'a'huge'interconnected'network.'When'some'parts'of'it' is'ac2vated,'related'parts'also'ac2vate'automa2cally'through'priming.'
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AZainability AXainability'is'simple.'The'core'message'is'"be'aXainable".'Not'being' aXainable'means'that'there'is'no'point'to'work'for'get'you.'This'is'something' different'than'availability.'Always'make'sure'people'view'you'as'aXainable.' Most'people'believe'they'can'own'a'Toyota'in'their'life2me.'Most'people'think' that'they'can't'own'a'Ferrari'even'if'most'people'agree'that'the'Ferrari'is' superior.'Most'people'thus'end'up'working'for'a'Toyota,'because'it'is'within' their'grasp.'Be'a'Toyota,'not'a'Ferrari;'you'll'be'passed'over.
Availability
Availability'is'harder.'Availability'is'a'ques2on'of'logis2cs'as'well'as'perceived' possibility'of'something'happening.'Being'overly'available'is'a'bad'thing,'being' available'is'a'good'thing,'at'least'in'the'beginning'stages.'Your'focus'should'be' on'mee2ng'up'with'someone,'and'this'means'that'faking'low'availability'to' increase'perceived'value'will'just'fuck'up'something'that's'way'more'important' than'your'perceived'value:'Your'logisi2cal'situa2on. When'you'become'experienced'with'this,'you'might'find'that'restric2ng'your' availability'will'increase'your'yield,'if'not'substan2ally'but'no2ceably.'When' you'get'there,'books'like'this'are'mostly'useless'for'you.' For'these'reasons'I'recommend'you'working'on'having'a'logis2cal'situa2on' where'you'actually'meet'up'for'the'foreseeable'future,'even'if'this'means'that' you'increase'your'availability'and'perhaps'lower'your'perceived'value'ever'so' slightly.'This'will'probably'not'have'a'no2ceable'nega2ve'effect'for'you. If'you're'just'star2ng'out,'I'd'recommend'you'being'highly'available.'This'is' decidedly'different'than'being'needy'or'pushy.'If'you're'having'a'conversa2on' on'Tinder'and'she'hints'at'wan2ng'you'to'come'over,'just'do'it.'Don't'act'hard' to'get.'This'kind'of'availability'is'in'many'ways'similar'to'recognizing'a'good' opportunity'and'not'passing'it'over.
Scarcity And'then'there's'scarcity.'Everybody'knows'that'the'laws'of'economics'dictate' that'scarce'resources'have'higher'perceived'value.'But'doesn't'this'contradict' being'aXainable'and'available? Not'necessarily. Imagine'there's'only'one'donut'leR'in'the'world.'Everybody'craves'donuts.'The' one'leR'in'the'world'just'happens'to'be'lying'on'the'table'in'front'of'you.'It'is' available,'it'is'aXainable'and'it'is'scarce. I'don't'usually'play'too'much'into'scarcity,'because'it'is'very'oRen'not'needed.' The'reason'is'that'momentum'will'always'trump'scarcity.'If'you'find'that'you're' having'a'hard'2me'keeping'up'momentum,'you'can'use'scarcity'to'jumpstart' the'interac2on.'Look'at'this'example.
Focus&on¬&making&mistakes In'general'you'want'to'focus'on'not'making'mistakes,'rather'than'focus'on' impressing'someone.'With'a'Tinder'match'you'can'assume'that'they’re'already' sufficiently'impressed'to'meet'you.'If'they'meet'you'and's2ck'around'for'a' while,'you'can'assume'that'they'like'you'enough'for'you'to'push'forward. This'isn’t'to'say'that'you'shouldn't'u2lize'any'solid'game'you'might'have,'but' realize'this:'If'you’ve'been'doing'game'for'a'while'and'don’t'succeed'bedding' women'quite'regularly,'chances'are'you'suck'at'it.'This'isn’t'your'fault;'most' mainstream%game%isn’t%very%good.' The'techniques'you'are'taught'in'this'book'are'all'bestgofgbreed'nognonsense' stuff.'S2ck'to'it'and'you'will'thrive. Typical'ways'this'will'play'out'in'real'life'is'that'you'll'typically'work%a%lible%bit% less.'Working&hard&to&game&someone&is&a&sign&of&having'to'work'hard.'You' very'seldom'need'to'work'hard. There'are'some'areas'where'it's'good'to'actually'work'a'liXle'hard,'and'the' most'prominent'of'these'is'screening.'When'you'screen,'you'oRen'need'to'give' off'the'impression'of'being'thorough.'To'get'a'feel'for'how'heavily'to'apply' screening,'refer'to'the'many'examples'in'the'book. And'obviously,'just'running'the'system'can'be'hard'work,'but'that's'not'what'I' mean.'Don't'work'hard'to'win'someone'over.'But'do'get'up,'get'dressed'and'go' out'to'meet'her,'even'if'it's'the'fiRh'girl'this'week.
Polariza9on
We’ve'talked'a'great'deal'about'polariza2on'already,'but'not'in'the'context'of' communica2on.'This'is'an'important'dis2nc2on'to'make.'When'you’re'out'on' the'town'in'a'noisy'club,'you'can'do'a'lot'of'polariza2on'in'your'communica2on' quickly,'and'this'will'help'you'screen'out'people'who'are'less'likely'to'come' home'with'you'and'put'out'on'the'first'night,'if'that’s'what'you’re'looking'for. On'Tinder,'however,'in'your'communica2on'you'don’t'really'need'to'polarize.'If' you’ve'matched'with'someone,'you'can'put'up'a'token'challenge'as'we’ve'seen' in'numerous'examples'already,'but'you'do'not'need'to'do'a'lot'of'hard'work,' because'you’re%already%in.'It'is'important'to'understand'this'because'a'match' creates'momentum.'This'momentum'can'be'added'to'or'subtracted'to,'or' simply'let'die'out,'malnourished.'But'polariza2on'at'this'point'is'a'preXy'heavy' handed'tool'and'in'most'cases'you'just'need'to'gently'guide'the'direc2on'of' the'interac2on. You'can'look'at'polariza2on'in'the'same'context'as'overextension.'If'you' overextend'sexually,'this'will'polarize,'so'girls'who'are'down'to'fuck'right'now' will'jump'at'the'chance'because'of'your'availability. If'you'have'a'setup'where'you'rou2nely'recycle'your'accounts'all'the'2me,'or' just'simply'have'more'than'enough'matches'than'you'know'how'to'handle;' start'polarizing.' Repeat'polariza2on'and'overextensions'will'give'you'experience'with'them'and' you'will'ins2nc2vely'become'beXer'at'supplying'con2ngencies'when'people'try' to'to'shoot'you'down.'In'short:'You'get'beXer. If'you'get'few'matches'and'just'want'to'get'in'on'the'ac2on'and'get'some'face' 2me'with'girls,'dial'the'polariza2on'down.'Your'matches'will'provide'higher' yield'when'it'comes'to'mee2ng'up.' Polariza2on'gives'you'results'quicker,'and'given'an'infinite'amount'of'targets' you’d'polarize'heavily'all'the'2me.'Unfortunately,'there'are'not'unlimited' 109
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targets,'so'the'gradual'approach'might'be'just'what'you'need.
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Trust
Trust'is'extremely'important,'and'we'all'know'the'word'trust,'but'it'can'be'hard' to'understand'what'the'word'means'in'the'context'of'mee2ng'women.'Trust'is' so'mul2faceted'that'it's'almost'pointless'to'look'at'it'as'a'single'concept. Here'are'a'couple'of'examples. This'is'counter'intui2ve,'but'when'a'woman'is'on'the'hunt,'she'needs'to'trust& that&you&can&take&her&home&and&fuck&her.'If'she'picks'up'on'that'she'might'be' was2ng'her'2me'with'you,'she'll'move'on,'and'quickly. She'also'needs'to'know'that'you'll'fuck&her&good.'If'you're'confident'around' women,'it'is'an'indica2on'that'they'tend'to's2ck'around'when'you'want'them' to.'Which'can'be'an'indica2on'that'you're'good'in'bed.' She'needs'to'trust&you'll&be&discrete.'This'means'that'she'can'do'what'she' wants'with'you'without'fear'of'slut'shaming.'This'becomes'even'more' important'if'it'turns'out'she's'in'a'rela2onship,'a'detail'she'might'not'want'to' volunteer. She'needs'to'trust&that&she'll&be&safe.'I'urge'you'to'keep'your'women'safe'and' that'you'respect'her'wishes'and'boundaries.'Keep'in'mind'that'this'is'very' different'from'libera2ng'her'from'societal'regula2ons'and'leQng'her'act'on'her' impulses. My'mantra'is'that'I%want%everyone%to%have%a%good%1me.'If'I'sense'she'won't,'I' back'off.'If'I'think'she'will,'I'do'my'best'to'make'sure'we'both'enjoy'each' other's'companies. This'doesn't'mean'that'I'can't'be'domina2ng'and'authorita2ve.'Many'girls'get' really'turned'on'by'this'kind'of'behavior'and'feel'liberated'by'being'bound'and' gagged.'There'is'freedom'in'the'restric2on'of'choice,'everything'becomes'a'lot' simpler.'But'it'needs'to'be'on'her'terms.
Simmering
Simmering'means'to'put'someone'on'the'"back'burner".''It'basically'means' that'you'don't'ac2vely'bring'something'to'a'boil,'but'rather'keep'it'below'by' design. Simmering'is'good'if'you'have'periods'of'2me'where'you'just'don't'have'the' 2me'to'meet'someone,'but'you's2ll'want'to'stay'on'their'radar. Snapchat'is'a'good'way'to'keep'a'rela2onship'simmering,'just'make'sure'it' doesn't'take'too'much'of'your'2me,'and'have'a'realis2c'expecta2on'on'how' much'you'get'back'for'it.'Some2mes'it's'beXer'to'let'it'freeze'and'reheat'a' rela2onship'altogether. You'can'also'periodically'just'ping'someone'on'Tinder'if'you'know'the'logis2cal' situa2on'isn't'in'place'for'anything'to'happen.'Beware'of'doing'this'too'oRen,' as'people'can'get'condi2oned'into'not'mee2ng'you.
Chunking Chunking'is'the'art'of'composing'your'message'so'that'your'inten2on'with'it'is' accepted.'It'is'a'liXle'bit'like'fishing'in'the'sense'that'you'will'hide'the'hook' with'a'worm.'The'fish'wants'the'worm,'so'it'will'accept'the'hook'as'part'of'the' bargain. Chunking'applies'to'spoken'communica2on'as'well'as'wriXen,'but'all'our' examples'will'of'course'be'wriXen,'as'this'is'a'book'(duh).'Just'keep'it'in'mind,' the'way'you'pace'a'conversa2on'is'also'a'form'of'chunking. The'basic'idea'of'chunking'is'that'when'you'have'a'request'of'some'sort,'you' package'it'up'with'a'qualifying'statement.'An'example'would'be: "You’re fun. Let’s get together and play this afternoon."
People'want'this'qualifica2on.'It's'a'compliment.'Sure,'you'll'meet'people' that'll'go'"I'm'really'not'that'fun",'and'chances'are'they're'not.'But'most' people'will'respond'favorably'to'the'request'in'order'to'be'able'to'fully'receive' the'compliment. In'the'example'above,'the'compliment'will'also'be'strengthened'by'complying' to'the'request. If'you'find'yourself'killing'conversa2ons,'see'if'you'have'a'chunking'problem.'Is' the'length'of'the'sentences'the'way'they'should'be?'Do'you'package'your' requests'with'bait? You'don't'only'use'this'to'have'your'requests'accepted.'It'is'also'very'handy'for' having'them'accept'your'screens.'You'could'say'something'like: "You're a really interesting person. What did you think of the new Anderson-movie?"
By'allowing'them'to'move'on'to'answer'the'ques2on,'your'subtle'screen'of' 113
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them'stands'uncontested.'This'is'also'a'part'of'how'you'chunk'you'sentences. A'smart'way'to'chunk'your'messages'is'to'have'these'parts'present: • •
Something'it's'beneficial'for'you'if'they'accept'("You're'cute.") Something'that'makes'it'easy'for'them'to'act'on'("How'was'the'flight?")
Don't'overdo'this,'it'will'be'over'gaming.'It'is'good'to'use'this'if'there'is' confusion'about'who'owns'the'different'frames'or'if'you're'unsure'of'the' acceptance'of'a'request.
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Inten9on Inten2on'is'one'of'the'things'that'should'cross'cut'through'all'your' considera2ons'in'your'communica2on.'Your'inten2on'should'always'be'to'lead' you'both'through'your'progression'model'and'be'the'foreground'on'the' backdrop'of'logis2cs. Inten2on'is'strongly'coupled'to'logis2cs,'because'if'you'don't'have'logis2cs'in' place,'your'inten2on'cannot'be'clear. Let's'say'you're'talking'to'a'girl'who's'currently'in'your'communica2onglane'of' funnelling,'and'you'want'to'meet'up'with'her.'Mee2ng'up'with'her'is'your' inten2on.'However,'how'you'manifest'your'inten2on'will'obviously'change' based'on'whether'or'not'you'have'a'clear'picture'of'when'you'are'able'to'meet' with'her.'In'a'sense,'you'can'say'that'logis2cs'always'drive'inten2on,'and'not' knowing'about'your'logis2cal'situa2on'will'make'it'impossible'to'have'a'clear' inten2on. Know'your'logis2cs,'let'it'drive'your'inten2on'and'let'your'inten2on'drive'your' communica2on.
Taking&full&responsibility&for&the&interac9on Have'you'ever'been'to'a'bachelor'party'where'a'group'of'friends'all'pitch'in' with'ideas'and'resources'to'make'sure'the'groom'to'be'has'a'really'fantas2c' night?'Where'they'take'full'responsibility'for'the'interac2on'and'outcomes' from'beginning'to'end? This'rarely'happens'in'a'da2ng'situa2on.'It'is'also'something'you'don't'have'to' do'all'the'2me,'but'you'should'try'about'what'happens'when'someone' actually'takes'full'responsibility. We'discussed'trust,'and'how'taking'away'the'freedom'of'choice'can'be' libera2ng.'If'you'plan'the'whole'night'for'someone,'really'go'in'and'spend' some'energy'designing'their'experience'and'make'it'clear'to'them'that'you' intend'to'do'so,'it'will'act'as'a'strong'liberator'in'itself.'You'are'the'captain'now,' and'they'are'just'along'for'an'enjoyable'ride.'
Communica9on Let's'face'is,'a'lot'of'this'is'about'communica2on.'It'is'good'to'be'someone'or' have'something'of'value,'but'when'you'get'to'the'presenta2on'of'it'there'are'a' lot'of'ways'to'screw'up.' We’ve'come'to'the'sec2on'where'we'go'into'concrete'techniques'to'make'all' these'concepts'come'alive.
Rou9nes Rou2nes'online'make'sense.'They'are'there'to'kill'entropy'and'to'make'it' easier'for'you'to'see'paXerns'in'your'interac2on.'They'help'you'leverage'the' experience'you'gather'in'a'shorter'2meframe,'because'if'you's2ck'to'the'same' rou2nes,'your'experience'will'be'relevant'more'oRen. But&won't&it&get&boring? Short'answer:'No.'The'rou2nes'you'll'be'running'online'will'normally'take'less' than'10'minutes.'They'will'typically'allow'you'to'deviate'from'the'script'in'a' number'of'places.'And'also,'once'you'start'totally'nailing'the'rou2nes,'the' concepts'you'learn'from'them'will'be'easily'transferable'to'other' conversa2ons. Just's2ck'to'the'rou2nes'when'you'get'started,'because'they'are'tried'and' tested.' But&won't&you&get&caught? Probably'not.'But'if'you'do,'so'what?'GeQng'caught'running'any'of'these' rou2nes'is'similar'to'geQng'caught'playing'chess'by%the%rules.'There's'nothing' wrong'with'that.'It's'just'a'game.'She'll'understand,'because'you'really'want' the'same'things. Face'it,'your'life'is'packed'full'with'rou2nes'anyway,'from'the'moment'you' wake'up'un2l'you'go'to'bed,'a'lot'of'the'stuff'you'fill'your'days'with'is'rou2ne.' We're'just'going'to'exchange'some'of'the'ones'that'aren't'really'that'good'with' some'that'are. But&isn't&it&unethical? Only'if'banging'some'chick'because'you'spew'off'lines'that'aren't'you'at'all'is' somehow'unethical.'Ok,'that'came'out'wrong.'Let'me'try'again:'Only'if'you'fail' to'make'things'your'own,'or,'in'the'process'of'learning'these'rou2nes'fail'to' 118
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make'internal'shiRs'that'align'you'with'them,'as'if'you'were'a'person'who' could'actually'say'things'like'this'and'that. But&what&if&I&can’t? You'can'always'look'at'the'rou2nes'and'see'which'concepts'they'cover.'You’re' then'free'to'create'your'own'material'using'this'as'inspira2on'only.'If'you' manage'to'just'adopt'the'concepts,'and'many'people'do,'skip'rou2nes' altogether. So&you’re&saying&this&is&a&learning&tool&as&well&as&something&that&works&in& prac9ce? Yes,'these'are'fucking'power'plays.'They'work'in'prac2ce,'they'teach'you' concrete'techniques,'they'have'a'high'replayability,'they'have'mul2ple'outs,' they'have'well'defined'con2ngencies.'What'I'am'trying'to'tell'you'that'this'is' the'bomb. In'a'sense'you'could'say'that'these'rou2nes'are'examples'that'have'been' tested%rigorously'and'can'be'applied%immediately'with'great%chance%of%success.' If'you'want'to'look'at'them'only'as'examples,'you’re'welcome'to'do'so.
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Ini9a9ng&conversa9ons Ideally,'you'want'to'ini2ate'a'conversa2on'by'immediately'take'the'screening' frame'and'create'an'open'loop.'These'two'are'your'power'arsenal'friends.' They'will'set'her'up'to'want'to'invest,'and'while'she'does'you'can'sexualize'the' conversa2on'and'start'working'on'logis2cs. If'she'ini2ates'the'conversa2on,'use'these'principles'in'order: • •
Is'she'trying'to'make'it'easy'for'you?'Then'help'out'make'it'easy'for'both' of'you'and'start'working'on'logis2cs. Is'she'trying'to'screen'you?'Steal'back'the'screening'frame'if%you%find%her% interes1ng.
Reviving&dead&conversa9ons You’ll'end'up'with'dead'conversa2ons.' This'is'a'fact'of'life.'A'lot'of'things'that'could'have'been'perfect'for'you'both' are'going'to'die'out.'Some2mes'naturally,'some2mes'there'will'be'just'events' in'life'that'prohibit'forward'momentum.'Fortunately,'most'of'the'2me' conversa2ons'will'die'because'you'fail'to'keep'momentum.'This'is'a'good'thing' because'it'makes'it'a'skill.'But'it'will'never'be'perfect. This'is'why'you'want'to'know'how'to'rehydrate'a'conversa2on'that'has'gone' dry. Tinder'and'Snapchat'differ'hugely'in'this'respect,'and'that'is'why'they'kind'of' complement'each'other. See,'Tinder'is'based'on'synchronous'communica2on.'And'when'you'ask'a' ques2on'on'Tinder,'like: T: Hey, you’re 1 mile away from me, where about in town are you?
…and'you'don’t'get'a'response,'you’ll'soon'have'a'message'window'that'looks' something'like'this: T: Hey, you’re 1 mile away from me, where about in town are you? T: I saw you at the gym before, is that you with the butterfly tattoo? T: Do you like big ol’ floppin’ donkey dicks? I think I saw you in Tijuana. T: The tickets are for 9:30, was the dinner reservations for 7 or 7:30?
In'other'words,'you’re'talking'down'a'bucket'and'the'only'response'is'the'echo' of'your'own'loneliness. 121
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This'is'a'very'common'situa2on'to'end'up'in,'and'to'be'honest,'not'all' conversa2ons'can'be'successfully'revived.'You’ll'see'this'more'oRen'as'you' overextend'and'fail'to'have'the'right'con2ngencies'in'place.'They'just'lose' interest'in'you. This'is'the'pain'of'a'synchronous'communica2on'cycle;'if'you'don’t'get'a'reply,' it’s'not'easy'to'be'the'person'to'keep'the'conversa2on'going. To'make'maXers'worse,'you'can'have'a'perfectly'good'conversa2on'going' where'you'decide'to'meet'up'“some'day”,'and'when'you'try'to'regengage'the' conversa2on'you'get'no'reply.'There'are'many'reasons'for'this.'She'might'have' stopped'using'Tinder,'she'is'in'a'different'headspace,'she’s'banging'some'la2no' guy'now,'and'you'just'aren’t'as'hot.'Or'necessary.' You’ll'learn'the'hard'way'when'to'cut'your'losses'in'situa2ons'like'this,'and' you’ll'learn'to'priori2ze'riding'the'momentum'of'a'match'all'the'way'to'a' mee2ng. This'problem'isn’t'as'prominent'with'Snapchat'as'the'communica2on'is' asynchronous.'If'you'send'her'20'messages'and'you'get'no'replies,'there’s'no' foul'or'harm.'If'you'totally'fail'to'capture'her'interest'with'these'messages,'she' won’t'reply.'She'probably'won’t'go'through'the'trouble'of'dele2ng'you,'so'you' can's2ll'communicate'with'her,'however. The'fact'that'you'can'build'your'brand'over'2me'might'benefit'some'people.' All'of'a'sudden,'you'get'a'message'from'her.'It'might'be'an'obvious'group' message,'but'it'could'also'be'a'perfect'“in”'to'engage'her'in'onegongone' conversa2on.' In'short,'Snapchat'solves'the'problem'of'matching'her'current'situa2on,' because'she'can'latch'on'whenever'she'is'in'the'mood.'This'yougtogmany'setup' is'very'similar'to'fishing'with'a'net;'you'just'toss'it'out'there'and'see'who' responds.'In'other'words,'Snapchat'doesn’t'really'create'“dead'conversa2ons”' 122
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in'the'same'way. Reviving'dead'conversa2ons'is'a'preXy'difficult'subject,'and'you'can'be'certain' that'no'maXer'what'techniques'you'are'using,'it'will'be'hit'and'miss.'Here'are' some'tried'and'tested'one'liners: "I saw something that reminded me of you." "The tickets are for 9PM, was the table reservation for 7PM or 7:30PM?”
They'are'in'general'a'result'of'crea2ng'powerful'open'loops,'stuff'that'makes' her'really'wrestle'with'her'curiosity.'What%did%he%see%that%reminded%him%of%me?% Did%we%make%a%plan%to%meet?%Coming'up'with'lines'like'this'should'not'really'be' a'challenge'for'you'if'you'know'the'principles'behind'them,'and'Google'will' give'you'a'Metric'Fucktonne'of'them. Some2mes'a'conversa2on'just'dies'for'no'reason.'I'some2mes'like'to'get'it' started'back'up'by'just'commen2ng'on'that'fact.'This'is'a'form'of'meta' communica2on. "Hey! We lost all momentum. What about Thursday?"
If'she's'interested'in'communica2ng'with'you,'it's'oRen'best'to'just's2ck'with' the'simple'solu2on,'and'stay'away'from'the'over'gaming.'Just'commen2ng'on' the'fact'that'you'lost'momentum'and'pick'up'the'conversa2on'where'it'leR'of' work'really'well.
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Qualifica9on We’ve'looked'at'qualifica2on'previously.'It’s'very'similar'to'screening,'it'can' almost'be'said'to'be'two'terms'describing'the'same'thing;'to'qualify'someone' is'one'way'to'steal'the'screening'frame. Qualifica2on'and'its'brother'disqualifica2on'is'basically'saying'that'you' approve'or'disapprove'of'something.'An'example'of'a'disqualifying'statement' is: "Too bad you don't like sushi, I wanted to take you to a great new place just up the street for me."
ORen,'they'will'try'to'qualify'themselves.'The'can'respond'with'things'like: "I've only had it once, maybe I like it now." …Or… "I'm sure they serve other things, I really like miso soup."
…Or… "I'm sure you can think of another good place in your neigborhood."
Woah,'woah,'hold'your'horses.'That'last'example'isn't'her'qualifying,'it's'her' qualifying'you.'And'before'you'know'it,'you'have'a'screening'frame'baXle' going'in'which'the'winner'of'the'screening'frame'basically'owns'the' conversa2on. There'are'things'that'are'good'to'qualify'on.'Good'taste'in'clothing,'for' example.'Pleasant'energy.'Knowing'how'to'carry'herself. But'try'to'shy'away'from'screening'on'looks'online.'It'is'already'implied'that' you'like'the'way'you'both'look'by'the'match.'It'is'just'simply'unnecessary. I'was'talking'to'this'girl'who'opened'with: H: "Who are you? Are you cool?" T: "I'm as cool as the Fonze riding a penguin on the south
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pole. Who are you? Are you hot?"
It's'a'joke'more'than'anything,'but'it'shows'the'dynamic'of'constantly'trying'to' steal'back'the'screening'frame'and'being'the'one'who'directs'the'conversa2on. The'problem'with'having'the'other'person'owning'the'screening'frame'is'that' it'is'easy'to'become'permissive.'Being'permissive'is'when'you'try'to'qualify' yourself'for'someone.'When'you'want'them'to'think'you're'good'enough. Qualifica2on'as'statements'is'a'blunt'tool'compared'to'how'you'can'do'it'in' person,'with'just'controlling'your'aXen2on.'But'when'you'talk'to'someone' online'it'is'some2mes'necessary.'The'reason'you'some2mes'need'to'do' screening'to'make'people'interested'is'that'they'are'used'to'people'over' inves2ng'in'them'and'becoming'needy.'There'is'a'lengthy'discussion'of'this' dynamic'in'the'screening'sec2on.'If'you'want'to'put'it'into'a'single'sentence,' you'could'say'that'the%one%who%cares%least%about%a%rela1onship%has%the%most% control.'Screening'doesn't'necessarily'make'you'care'less,'but'it'makes'you' certain'that'you'invest'in'something'of'value. When'you'start'out'screening'it'might'seem'a'liXle'strange'to'you.'I'mean,'you' might'be'talking'to'a'super'hot'chick'who's'half'your'age'and'is'a'clone'of'the' goddess'Aphrodite.'And'you're'telling'her'that'she'could'have'picked'a'beXer' color'for'her'dress'as'it'doesn't'quite'complement'her'eyes.'But'this'is'what'will' happen'naturally'when'you'start'having'more'people'interested'in'you.'You'just' get'more'picky. You'll'also'see'the'opposite'effect'in'play.'When'people'play'a'2ght'screening' game,'it'just'suckers'you'in.'Pay'aXen2on'to'this'and'no2ce'the'effects.'I'met' with'this'girl'who'was'37'years'old,'and'I'didn't'really'do'a'super'good'job.'I'felt' preXy'good'aRer'the'meet,'but'ended'up'geQng'a'liXle'drunk'and'needy'that' evening,'and'pushed'it'a'liXle'hard'un2l'the'conversa2on'ended'up'here: G: I became a little insecure and had to pull away. I liked meeting you. It was very nice. But I have to say that I doubt
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that it's going to end up being "us two".
This'is'a'preXy'hard'screen,'and'I'tried'recovering: T: You decide. We're not going to own each other. If you're uncertain it's better that we don't meet. I just like doing things that are fun.
On'my'part'this'is'an'aXempt'to'screen'her'out.'It's'not'really'obvious,'but' stealing'the'frame'at'this'level'can'be'hard.'By'reestablishing'the'meaning'of' the'rela2onship'as'something'fun,'instead'of'something'that's'going'to'last'for' life.'I'con2nued: T: I just think things should be kept simple when possible. And we should do what we choose to do. Because we want to.
This'is'an'appeal'to'simplicity,'playfulness'and'living'out'urges.'I'waited'a' couple'of'days,'and'we're'back'in'communica2on,'talking'about'mee2ng'again. There'is'definite'power'in'owning'the'screening'frame,'and'qualifica2on'is'one' tool'to'get'it.'Saying'things'like'"I'like'you"'is'highly'screening'and'at'the'same' 2me'a'statement'of'intent,'but'the'problem'is'that'it'is'easy'to'misinterpret'it' as'being'needy. When'figh2ng'for'screening'frames,'or'doing'these'kinds'of'game'in'general,' keep'in'mind'that'it'is'fully'possible'to'feel%one%thing%and%communicate% something%else.'You'might'be'head'over'heels'in'love'with'a'girl'and's2ll'run' screening'game.'Because'you'know'that'it'is'going'to'make'her'invested'in'you,' and'chances'are'you're'both'going'to'end'up'happier'because'of'it. Some'people'go'through'years'of'rela2onship'figh2ng'for'these'power'frames,' and'I'don't'want'that'for'you.'There'are'ways'to'escape'frame'baXles,'but'this' is'outside'the'scope'of'this'book.
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In'short,'you'could'say'that'any'2me'you'put'up'a'challenge'for'her,'you're' screening'her'on'the'result. "How fast can you be here?" "Do you know how to make cake?" "Tell me a funny story from your childhood."
It's'important'to'understand'that'screening'and'qualifica2on'isn't'necessarily' something'you'do'jokingly'or'flirta2ous.'This'is'the'real'deal,'and'it'can'be' serious'communica2on. It'is'sort'of'a'flip'of'a'switch,'because'when'you'qualify'someone,'you'give' them'the'subconscious'impression'that'they'were'actually'working'to'impress' you'in'the'first'place.'This'creates'investment'and'emo2onal'aXachment.
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SeVng&up&a&meet
I'have'to'admit,'this'is'where'I'used'to'get'it'really%wrong.'I'used'to'think'that'I' needed'to'spend'a'lot'of'2me'talking'to'girls'before'they'would'meet'me,'but' given'that'you'have'a'match'and'momentum,'seQng'up'a'meet'is'really'easy.'It' is'just'about'handling'logis2cs.' Look'at'these'sec2ons'to'get'warmed'up,'and'check'out'some'examples: • • •
S2gma2za2on Logis2cs Statement'of'intent
To'summarize'the'sec2ons'above,'I'usually'try'to's2gma2ze'chaQng'on'a' mobile'app;'it'is'a'liXle'nerdy.'Then'I'try'to'figure'out'where'they'are'compared' to'me.'Then'I'usually'add'a'small'statement'of'intent'once'we've'set'up' logis2cs,'to'make'sure'we'don't'meet'with'friendship'in'mind;'it'needs'to'be'a' decidedly'roman2c'or'even'sexual'encounter. Again,'a'line'I'use'almost'verba2m'most'of'the'2me'is: I'm a little skeptical of chatting for hours on end on a mobile app with people I don't know. Do you want to meet for a cup of tea (or beer) an afternoon?
You'might'get'objec2ons,'like'"I'd like to get to know you better first".'To'answer'this,'just'say'that'nobody'ever'got'to'know'by'sending'each' other'text'messages'on'a'mobile'phone.'"People get to know each other by meeting up in person."
Example:&Helene&(23) T: Finally! A Match with Meaning(tm). H: Hi there! :) How are you? T: Superb! Sitting here in the window sill working. T: You’re quite a bit away. Where are you located? H: Sounds really nice! I’m on my way to work in the sunshine. I live at Place A. What about you? T: I live in Street B. Are you a lot in City C? (the city I live)
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H: Oh! Yes, I am. I have a lot of family and friends there. I still live at home when I have a vacation from school. T: Ah, cool. I’m a little skeptical of messaging too much on the cell phone with people I don’t know. Let’s meet for a cup of beer an afternoon you’re in town. H: That’s nothing to be skeptical of. It’s more scary to meet up with unknown people. But I’m sure we can make it happen one of these days.:) T: Fun. :)'…Decide'on'logis2cs…
This'is'the'full'conversa2on.'When'your'funnel'transfer'becomes'2ght,'you' don’t'need'to'build'aXrac2on'or'comfort'to'a'large'degree,'you'just'ride'the' momentum'of'the'matches.'If'this'doesn’t'work'for'you,'you'need'to'increase' the'investment'and'tune'your'funnel.'This'is'coming'up'in'the'next'sec2on. For'an'example'of'how'to'knock'down'resistance,'see'this'example' (intermediate'level).
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Crea9ve&misinterpreta9on
Crea2ve'misinterpreta2on'is'the'act'of'reac2ng'to'her'responses'in'a'way'that' benefits'you.'If'you'want'to'make'her'meet'up'with'you,'you'could'imagine'this' conversa2on: You: I’m a little skeptical of typing on my cellphone for hours on end with someone I don't know. You want to meet up for a cup of tea sometime? Her: Perhaps. I just think it's a good idea that we get to know each other a little first. You: I just feel I spent too much time typing away on MSN in the old days. Her: True dat. You: Great, there’s this new place down on the corner, it has some awesome chai. Her: Oh, cozy. You: I have some time in the afternoon next week.
What'basically'happened'here'is'that'she'agreed'that'typing'on'MSN'in'the'old' days'tended'to'be'a'waste'of'2me'with'a'lot'of'communica2on'that'went' nowhere'in'terms'of'actually'mee2ng'people.'You're'basically'misaXribu2ng' this'posi2vity'onto'your'original'idea'of'mee2ng'up,'and'this'will'work' surprisingly'oRen.' Another'example: Her: What are your plans for this weekend? You: I might be going to this thing tomorrow, and I think I'm busy Sunday. But I'm sure I can squeeze you in for a glass of beer if you want. Her: What would be fun. I have some loose plans as well, but let's talk tomorrow?
This'is'a'very'typical'push'where'you'misinterpret'her'asking'you'what'you' have'planned'this'weekend'as'her'wan2ng'to'meet'you.'It'might'be'why'she' asks,'but'don't'be'surprised'when'people'ask'ques2ons'like'this'just'to'get'a' feel'for'what'kind'of'person'you'are.'By'crea2vely'misinterpre2ng'what'they' 130
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say,'you'can'push'for'a'meet'quicker.
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Humor Girls'oRen'type'that'they'like'"funny"'guys.'I'd'be'reluctant'to'take'things'like' that'at'face'value,'but'there'is'a'lot'of'value'to'being'able'to'be'funny.' Depending'on'your'style'of'game,'humor'can'be'an'ally.' Keep'this'in'mind,'however:'Humor'can'be'used'to'safely'sexualize'anything.' You'can'be'a'pig'as'long'as'it'is'funny.'Therefore,'it'stands'to'reason'that'every' 2me'you're'making'her'laugh'without'being'sexual,'you're'losing'an' opportunity'to'sexualize'something. Also,'don't'get'lost'in'humor'on'Tinder'and'Snapchat.'Save'it'for'when'you' meet'up.'When'given'the'choice'between'being'humorous'and'maintaining' momentum'and'working'on'logis2cs,'do'the'laXer. If'you're'not'really'funny'(and'be'honest),'you'can'check'out'humorous'sites' like'hXp://www.bash.org'and'binge'on'quotes'un2l'you'understand'the' structure%and%fabric%of%humor.'You'won't'be'using'the'quotes'verba2m,'but' aRer'a'couple'of'weeks,'the'paXern'should'emerge'where'you'can'reuse'the' elements'of'surprise,'2ming'and'absurdity'from'pure'exposure. Sexual'things'are'a'liXle'humorous'in'their'nature'because'they'create'tension' and'laughter'is'a'natural'tension'release,'so'a'play'on'words'could'be'enough' to'make'something'sexual'humorous'and'therefore'passable. I'personally'love'all'kinds'of'humor'from'shock'value'to'the'subtle,'and'you're' going'to'end'up'being'a'product'of'the'material'you'expose'yourself'to'and' ul2mately'the'things'you'end'up'loving'yourself.
Girl&code&language Because'girls'are'prone'to'“slut'shaming”,'there’s'been'devised'a'language'built' on'code'to'allow'you'to'communicate'things'of'a'sexual'nature'without'really' being'sexual.'Knowing'about'this'code'language'is'extremely'valuable.'It'is'not' an'exact'science;'“elephant”'doesn’t'mean'“let’s'kiss'behind'the'bicycle'shed”,' but'there'are'some'ways'to'communicate'that'are'fairly'well'defined. But'why,'you'might'ask,'would'you'want'to'communicate'in'code'at'all?'If'it’s'a' given'that'girls'love'sex,'why'don’t'you'just'go'ahead'and'communicate'directly' about'straight'away?'There'are'a'number'of'reasons'for'this.'First,' communica2ng'in'code'allows'you'to'gauge'their'interest'before'pushing.'In' other'words,'it'allows'you'to'calibrate'and'increase'your'yield.'The'calibra2on' comes'from'giving'their'an'opportunity'to'communicate'in'the'same'language' back'and'see'if'they'some2mes'step'over'the'boundaries.'You’ll'see'women' use'the'winkgsmiley'quite'religiously'when'they'want'you'to'keep'this'line'of' communica2on'up.'Also,'the'more'recep2ve'they'are'to'the'ideas'you'propose' when'girl'coding,'the'more'likely'they'are'to'be'interested'in'you. Second,'even'if'you'do'communicate'explicitly'about'sex'at'a'later'point,'and' you'oRen'will,'leQng'them'know'that'you'know'how'to'communicate'about'it' covertly'indicates'that'you'know'and'value'a'certain'level'of'discre2on.'Third,' communica2ng'in'this'code'is'preXy'innocent,'so'if'it'turns'out'someone'is'not' really'currently'that'interested,'you'can'back'out'gracefully,'and'look'at'it'as' part'of'your'frac2ona2on'exercise. Common'for'all'these'“codes”'is'that'they'can'have'a'sexual'undertone'while' they'are'at'the'same'2me'innocent.'This'means'that'if'you'discuss'this'with' one'girl,'she'can'tell'you'they'are'completely'innocent'while'the'next'girl'will' say'that'“everybody'knows'what'that'means”. Typically,'you'can'ask'them'to'qualify'on'these'terms'and'then'apply'gently'at'a' later'2me'to'make'them'own'up'to'it.'For'instance,'if'she’s'agreed'that'she’s' adventurous'and'you'try'to'kiss'her'and'she'shoots'you'down,'you'can'say'that' you'thought'she'was'adventurous.'This,'again,'is'then'frac2onated'in,'so'that' 133
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she'can'ra2onalize'this'as'just'“being'adventurous”,'so'when'you'try'the' approach'again,'she’s'game. There'are'a'number'of'words'that'describe'the'state'of'being'“in'the'present”.' Being'in'the'present'means'that'you'don’t'really'consider'past'or'future' experiences.'This'also'means'that'you'discard'memories'of'bad'hookups,'and' discard'projec2ons'of'future'consequences'of'present'hookups. This'is'obviously'a'good'state'to'be'in,'one'where'you'can'both'enjoy'the' moment'and'each'other. This'state'and'the'desire'to'be'in'it'can'be'described'in'a'number'of'ways'that' society'deems'virtuous.'One'of'these'is'adventurous.'Adventurous'means'that' you’re'willing'to'go'outside'the'box'to'get'beXer'experiences.'This'is'almost'the' opposite'of'a'bunch'of's2gma2zed'words,'such'as'couch%potato,'lazy,'boring' and'sebled. Typically,'when'qualifying,'you'can'say'that'you’re'looking'for'someone'who’s' not'stuck'in'front'of'the'TV'for'hours'each'day'and'who'is'open'for'some' everyday'adventure.'Typically,'people'will'shy'away'from'the's2gma2zed'terms' and'seek'shelter'in'the'other'camp.'When'they'do,'they'at'the'same'2me'open' themselves'up'to'commiQng'to'this'line'of'thinking'through'commitment'and' consistency. Being'spontaneous'is'another'set'of'posi2vely'charged'virtues'that'allow' people'to'act,'and'act'in'the'now.'If'a'girl'decides'to'meet'up'with'you'without' a'lot'of'chaQng,'you'can'qualify'her'on'being'spontaneous,'and'she’ll'happily' accept'this'compliment,'again'being'suscep2ble'to'commitment'and' consistency.'Keep'in'mind'that'either'2me'she'falls'out'of'these'frames,'you' can'remind'her'that'she'is'spontaneous,'or'that'you'though'she'was' spontaneous'and'might'be'in'error.'In'general'this'is'an'instrument'that'is'a' liXle'too'blunt'for'my'liking,'but'it'is'effec2ve. Terms'used'when'you'were'innocent'children'tend'to'take'on'a'new'meaning.' 134
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Things'like'“come&out&and&play”'or'just'“play”'in'general'has'definite'sexual' undertones.'Children'are'exploring'and'learning'and'look'at'the'world'with'a' sense'of'wonder.'Grownups'tend'to'get'stuck'in'their'ways.'Coming'out'to'play' is'then'a'way'to'try'and'recapture'the'world'through'eyes'of'a'child. Obviously,'terms'like'plaything,'boy%toy'and'playmate%of%the%month'have'done' their'fair'share'of'coloring'this'in'the'sexual'direc2on.'When'a'girl'asks'you'if' you'want'to'come'out'and'play,'you'can'be'preXy'certain'that'it'has'a'sexual' undertone. On'the'other'hand,'you'can'inject'it'fairly'innocently'into'a'conversa2on.'You' can'say'something'like:'How%are%we%ever%going%to%become%friends%if%you%never% come%out%and%play?'This'has'a'wonderful'dissonance'in'it,'as'you'talk'about' “becoming'friends”'and's2ll'use'fairly'sexualized'language. This'leads'us'to'just'plain'being&playful.'Again,'not'being'playful'is'similar'to' being'boring.'Nobody'wants'to'be'boring,'so'they'seek'to'the'other'camp. When'people'say'that'they'enjoy&mee9ng&new&people,'it'is'a'way'of'saying' that'they'are'outgoing.'While'not'directly'synonymous,'it'is'a'way'to'say'that' they'enjoy'mee2ng'new'poten2al'partners.'You'can'use'this'to'communicate' that'you'yourself'are'on'the'lookout'for'hookups.'You'can'also'force'this'frame' on'others'because'it'has'an'effec2ve'dissonant'frame'in'“being'an2'social”'and' “being'unfriendly”. This'leads'us'to'another'related'topic,'namely'that'of'just'being&social.'Humans' are'social'animals,'and'being'social'is'a'prerequisite'for'being'sexual.'Humans' are,'of'course,'highly'sexual,'so'just'“being'social”'creates'a'lot'of'opportuni2es' for'“things'to'happen”. Again,'when'asking'for'meets,'prime'her'with'being'social'and'you'will'increase' the'chances'of'her'agreeing'to'mee2ng'up'with'you. This'extends'to'hanging&out.'Hanging'out'is'something'very'different'than' 135
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mee2ng'someone'in'a'bar'or'café.'When'you’re'hanging'out'with'your'friends,' you'might'do'so'at'one'of'your'respec2ve'places.'If'you'tell'a'girl'you'want'to' hang'out'without'specifying'further,'she’ll'understand'that'you'probably'mean' in'an'isolated'situa2on'where'anything'can'happen. As'Cyndi'Lauper'etched'into'our'minds:'Girls%just%want%to%have%fun.'Having&fun' and'partying'are'are'oRen'synonymous'with'geQng'a'liXle'bit'2psy,'making' out'with'some'hot'dude'and'occasionally'going'home'with'him.'If'a'girl'is' telling'me'she'is'mee2ng'some'friends'at'a'bar,'I'refer'to'her'as'a'"crazy'liXle' party'girl". Some2mes'girls'will'catch'on'to'your'way'of'speaking,'and'because'they'feel' comfortable'with'you,'they'will'start'speaking'to'you'directly'in'explicit'sexual' language.'Let'them'do'this,'and'follow'suit'if'they'do. When'talking'in'this'manner,'you'want'it'to'be'implied'what'you’re'talking' about.'But'you'always'want'there'to'be'a'layer'of'ambiguity'un2l'you're' absolutely'certain'there's'no'way'you're'misunderstanding'each'other. You'can'always'be'tempted'to'start'being'explicit'yourself;'this'works— some2mes.'When'it'doesn’t,'it'can'be'devasta2ng,'but'it'is'a'recoverable' overreach.'You'never'need'to'be'explicit,'but'in'terms'of'screening,'you'might' screen'in'girls'who'are'ready'to'be'openly'sexual'and'this'will'save'you'2me.' Again,'it'will'hurt'your'yield,'as'many'girls'need'this'part'to'be'covert. Also,'when'you're'being'sexually'explicit,'make'sure'you’re'doing'it'because'you' are'indeed'screening.'You’ll'find'if'you'do'some'soul'searching'that'you’re' actually'being'sexually'explicit'because'you'have'a'problem'coping'with'the' tension'that'arises'from'the'sexual'ambiguity.'When'there's'a'50/50'chance' that'chances'might'become'sexual'with'a'girl'you're'heavily'invested'in,'you' will'oRen'seek'to'release'the'tension.'Resist'this'tempta2on.'She'will'feel'it'too,' and'she'will'some2mes'use'sexual'explicitness'to'release'this'tension.'When' she'releases'tension'by'becoming'explicit,'harness'the'momentum!'This'is' what'you've'been'wai2ng'for. 136
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Make'extremely'sure'you’re'not'pushing'for'disambigua2on'by'making'her' become'sexually'explicit.'This'stacks'the'deck'in'your'disfavour,'because'she' has'the'problem'of'slut'shaming'while'she’s'also'expected'to'do'the'sexual' escala2on'work.'Again,'this'works'some2mes,'but'it’s'best'to'let'her'decide'for' herself'to'lead'the'way.'Chances'are'she'will'pull'away'to'release'tension. Here’s'an'example'of'a'conversa2on'that'is'pushing'the'limits'of'when'it'comes' to'shiRing'the'liabili2es.'I'had'met'with'this'girl'at'a'local'café,'and'when'I'got' home'I'ini2ated'the'following'conversa2on: T: You're fun. Let's have a playdate someday. H: Any games you like better than others? T: Sure. They're not all made the same. H: True! H: But I was really fishing… I could have said "which games do you like better than others?"… T: We'll find something we both think is a good use of time. H: A very politically correct answer :-) T: :) H: :-) T: Do you have any favorite games yourself? H: Yes, of course I do. H: And it's always fun when you can play your favorite games together. T: Agreed! What are you up to tonight?
The'conversa2on'progresses'with'more'sexual'innuendo,'un2l'I'take' responsibility'for'sexualizing'it'completely.'She's'given'enough'"subtle'hints"' that'I'know'which'way'she'wants'the'interac2on'to'progress.'She's'met'with'a' friend'and'has'been'served'an'omelet. H: I've just been served an omelet. Filled with ham and a lot of green vegetables. T: Nice, sounds good. H: Yes. But I'm pretty good at making that myself. H: More exciting to be served something I don't usually
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make. T: True. T: You don't usually make me, so you know what you're being served when you come to visit. EXCITING. H: Comment of the day. :-D H: But really… Interesting ;-) T: Yes. True story. Swing on by. H: Are you inviting me on… you? T: Apparently! H: Exciting ;-)
This'quickly'turned'into'a'really'hot'conversa2on'and'she'sent'me'nudes'on' Snapchat'the'next'day. As'you'can'see,'a'lot'of'these'manners'of'speaking'are'made'to'make'it'easy'to' ra2onalize'and'get'in'the'“it'just'happened”'situa2on.'This'is'excellent,'of' course.'A'lot'of'this'also'relates'to'the'whole'idea'of'not'having'any'strings' aXached.'You'can'totally'kill'the'whole'purpose'of'any'of'these'approaches'by' star2ng'to'become'overly'aXached,'needy'and'trying'to'frame'it'as'a' rela2onship. Again,'there'is'nothing'wrong'with'wan2ng'a'rela2onship,'it’s'just'that'for'most' girls,'having'sex'isn’t'a'big'deal.'Going'into'a'rela2onship'is.'You'just'need'to' make'it'seem'like'it'was'a'good'idea'to'have'sex.'This'means'that'you'need'to' give'her'some'material'that'builds'up'under'the'idea'that'she'doesn’t'really' have'to'take'responsibility. These'methods'do'that,'as'they'blur'the'lines'between'the'sexual'and'the' socially'accepted,'or'even'the'socially'praiseworthy.'Use'as'you'see'fit. You’ll'also'see'that'this'is'highly'related'to'spreading'ac2va2on'and'priming.' You'don’t'use'one'single'powerful'sentence'to'super'sexualize'things,'instead' you'use'a'small'set'of'drips'to'make'it'OK'to'be'in'a'situa2on'that'has'a'high' probability'to'become'sexual.
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Ambiguity Related'to'girl'code'language,'and'really'just'an'extension'of'it,'is'that'of' ambiguity.'If'you'say'something'that'is'has'two'meanings,'one'innocent'and' one'sexual,'she’s'free'to'interpret'it'as'she'chooses.'Typically,'she’ll'pick'up'the' sexual'meaning'but'keep'communica2on'pushing'forward'using'the'innocent' one.'If'she'calls'you'out'on'an'ambiguity'you'can'easily'(and'some2mes' playfully)'tell'her'to'get'her'mind'out'of'the'guXer.'Again,'this'is'a'great'way'to' frac2onate,'create'open'loops,'investment'and'tension.
Example:&Morning&face T: been E: E: T: E: head
It’s cold to sleep alone in the winter. Even if this has a very mild one. Absolutely. Boring that nobody can see my ugly morning mug. I bet you’re great from behind in the morning. I choose to believe you’re talking about the back of my now, and in that case, no, it is also a catastrophe.
Meta&communica9on Meta'communica2on'is'the'simple'act'of'communica2ng'about'the' communica2on.'It'could'be'compared'to'a'layer'with'infinite'layers,'and' whenever'you'are'discussing'something,'you'can'always'decide'to'go'to'the' layer'enclosing'the'current. A'simple'example'of'this'is: Mother: Go clean your room. Child: You're always telling me what to do.
The'mother'simply'wants'her'offspring'to'have'a'suitable'living'environment' but'the'child'employs'techniques'of'meta'communica2on,'challenging'her' communica2on'itself.'In'this'case,'the'mother'can'decide'to'take'the'baXle'to' the'next'level,'siQng'down'and'discussing'the'nature'of'their'communica2on.' In'many'cases,'this'is'a'real'power'play,'because'refusing'to'go'"meta"'in'the' conversa2on'will'oRen'come'off'as'socially'unintelligent. Meta'communica2on'has'incredibly'many'uses,'from'controlling'frames'to' remove'slut'shaming.
Canned&situa9onals Being'able'to'create'canned'situa2onals'is'a'func2on'of'your'ability'to'see' paXerns.'Once'you'see'a'paXern'emerge,'spend'some'extra'2me'on'it'and'see' if'you'can'apply'some'of'the'concepts'on'a'general'basis. These'situa2onals'are'some2mes'quite'generic,'and'we’ll'give'you'some' examples'of'that.'Some'will'be'specific'to'your'geographic'posi2on. You’ll'find'that'these'canned'situa2onals'start'“wri2ng'themselves”'with' experience,'but'it'can'be'good'to'sit'down'and'think'about'it'every'once'in'a' while,'and'more'importantly,'reuse'stuff'that'is'proven'to'work. It'really'doesn't'make'any'sense'to'provide'examples'for'canned'situa2onals,'as' they'will'depend'solely'on'the'situa2ons'you'are'in.
Open&loops Open'loops'are'extremely'powerful'constructs,'and'if'you'learn'only'ten'things' from'this'book,'open'loops'should'definitely'be'one'of'them.'Have'you'ever' no2ced'the'urge'to'slap'someone'who'starts'telling'a'joke,'delivers'a'perfect' setup,'manages'to'build'your'curiosity'and'then'goes'on'to'botch'or'even' forget'the'punchline? Open'loops'are'about'crea2ng'this'urge'for'closure.'It'is'easy'to'do'and' extremely'effec2ve.' In'many'cases,'you'start'out'as'an'open'loop.'If'a'girl'thinks'you’re'cute,'she' might'want'to'learn'more'about'you.'This'act'is,'in'itself,'one'of'trying'to'close' a'loop.' Opening'and'closing'loops'typically'looks'like'this:
When'she'asks'you'the'ques2on,'she's'opening'a'loop'that's'up'to'you'to'close.' By'answering'it'straight'off'the'bat,'the'loop'is'closed. A'very'typical'paXern'then'becomes'opening'another'loop'when'one'is'closed.
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One'open'loop'is'handed'off'by'another.'This'paXern'of'looping'is'problema2c,' as'it'oRen'results'is'what'is'called'the%interview%trap.'The'interview'trap'is' known'to'be'boring,'but'it's'not'the'contents'of'the'conversa2on'that'makes'it' boring,'it'is'the'exchange'of'contents:
You'always'come'back'to'the'point'where'there'is'no'open'loop'aRer'each' exchange,'and'both'par2cipants'in'the'conversa2on'must'ac2vely'work'to'open' loops'all'the'2me,'or'the'conversa2on'dies'out. The'way'to'fix'this'problem'is'to'have'loops'that'you'open'that'poten2ally' never'close.
In'this'exchange'she'can'decide'whether'to'ask'you'about'your'hobbies'or' answer'what'she'works'with.'If'she'answers'what'she'works'with,'you'can'later' return'to'your'hobbies.'This'loop'can'be'open'for'2'minutes'or'10'hours.'It'can' also'stay'open'un2l'it'is'forgoXen.'What'makes'this'interes2ng,'is'that'no' maXer'which'route'she'takes,'there'will'be'something'unknown'in'the'back'of' your'minds'during'the'conversa2on. If'you'look'at'it,'you'realize'that'the'conversa2on'could'have'gone'like'this,' which'would'have'been'bad: "What'do'you'work'with?" "I'm'in'IT,'what'about'you?" "I'm'a'hairdresser." "Ah,'interes2ng.'Do'you'have'any'hobbies?" 143
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"Yes,'I'like'kniQng." "Really,'really'interes2ng.'I'like'watching'my'hamsters'run'around'on'their' wheel." "Oh." Our'conversa2on'is'fixed'because'of'how'the'sentences'are'chunked,'not' because'of'the'contents.'Because'we'manage'to'make'the'packages'of' informa2on'sent'contain'more'loops'than'can'be'exchange'of'informa2on'in'its' natural'flow'can'close. When'you'become'good'at'controlling'the'lifespan'of'your'loops,'your' conversa2on'will'look'more'like'this:
Some'loops'are'closed'straight'away'to'keep'momentum.'Some'loops'arch'over' 2me'and'serve'as'a'guide'in'which'direc2on'the'conversa2on'is'going'and'help' build'investment'and'intrigue.'Some'loops'are'just'never'closed. Having'this'kind'of'conversa2on'is'addic2ve'because'of'the'urge'to'find'out' about'things'you've'been'teased'with.'It'doesn't'really'maXer'what'the'content' of'the'conversa2on'is;'with'the'suitable'amount'of'loops'open,'people'are' hardwired'to'give'more'aXen2on'over'2me'and'therefore'invest'more. Let’s'look'at'some'examples'of'open'looping'by'design. Her: Oh, so you’re from Brooklyn. How long have you lived there? Do you like it? Me: I like it very much, I love the outdoors facilities. How do you like living over the bridge?
This'might,'at'first'glance,'seem'like'normal'conversa2on.'But'the'keen'eye'will' no2ce'that'she'asked'two'ques2ons'and'I'only'replied'to'one'of'them'before' moving'the'conversa2on'forward.'She'cares'enough'about'how'long'I'lived' 144
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there'to'ask'the'ques2on,'but'she'never'got'an'answer.'Joke'without'punchline. Another'example'that'could'be'ripped'out'of'any'daily'conversa2on: Her: Did you party this weekend? Me: No, we just went to the movies on Sunday.
Well,'seems'like'a'normal'enough'thing'to'say,'right?'Well,'that’s'just'because' you'expect'her'to'follow'up'with'“Ah,'what'did'you'see?'Who'did'you'go'with?' Which'theatre'did'you'visit?” Her: Ah, what did you see? Me: That new one, it premiered. It was really good. Did you hit the clubs?
This'version'of'opening'loops'can'be'described'as'saying'things'without'really' saying'things.'It'gives'the'illusion'of'feeding'her'informa2on,'but'you’re'really' not.'When'working'with'open'loops,'this'is'being'inten1onally%vague. There'is'a'gradual'dial'back'of'how'much'informa2on'you'can'withdraw'when' opening'loops. Verbose: Me and my friend Dave drove for three hours in my Explorer up north taking Highway 17 to go fishing on Lake Whattafucksup.
Compared'to: Brief: We went for a trip.
You'can'dial'this'in'anywhere'in'between. The'problem'with'open'loops'is'that,'just'like'you'want'to'murder'people'who' tell'you'half'a'joke,'people'will'start'to'want'to'murder'you'if'you'never'close' any'loops.'So'what'do'you'do?'Well,'you'do'what'I'refer'to'as'an'open%loop% 145
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handoff.'This'is'similar'to'"the'interview'trap",'but'you'use'this'on'overarching' loops'in'addi2on'to'those'in'the'foreground. This'basically'means'that'for'each'loop'you'close,'you'open'another'one.'It' sounds'extremely'complex,'but'it’s'really'simple. Her: So what did you do this weekend? Up to anything fun? Me: Yes, did a lot of fun stuff! You should have been there. What were you up to?'Open%loop:%What%fun%stuff? Her: Ah, I went to this birthday party. It was fun, a lot of cool people. Where did you go? Me: We were just out and about. You know, rockin’ the city. Did the guest of honour manage to turn?'Open%loop:%Where%did%he%
go?! Her: Yes, we did the song and dance. Was pretty fun. We went to The Perverted Clover after, they had 2 shots for one. Me: Ah, great. We considered going there but ended up at The Buffalo Range instead. Ahah, you won’t believe what happened, I won’t even tell you.'Closing%one%loop,%opening%another. Her: Ah, that place can be fun. My friend Heather knows the bartender there. Me: Yeah, it was pretty wild. I met one of your friends there, I think.'Open%another%loop. Her: What happened!
…pause… Her: AND WHO THE FUCK DID YOU MEET?
As'you'can'see,'opening'loops'and'closing'them'in'concert'helps'keep'the' conversa2on'spiced'up.'It'is'common'for'people'with'low'tension'threshold'to' totally'lack'the'ability'to'do'extended'open'looping.'It'also'seems'to'be'very' hard'for'people'who'are'linear'and'logical'thinkers.'It'is'a'social'mode'of' communica2on,'not'one'par2cularly'suited'for'problem'solving. But'as'you'can'probably'tell,'it'glues'people'to'your'every'word'and'creates' 146
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investment'over'2me. A'super'powerful'way'of'doing'open'loops'is'called&future&adventure& projec9on.'There'was'much'talk'about'this'in'the'gaming'community'in'the'old' days,'but'I'can’t'say'that'I'really'ever'saw'anyone'u2lize'it'to'its'full'poten2al. First'of'all,'let'me'tell'you:'Future'Adventure'Projec2on'can'be'evil,'so'use'with' extreme'cau2on.'And'it'is'really'simple'to'use'also,'so'resist'the'tempta2on. If'you're'talking'to'someone'who's'an'interior'decorator,'tell'her'that'you' should'go'to'IKEA'together'so'she'can'help'you'pick'out'something'nice.' Contrary'to'popular'belief,'you'won't'have'to'oversell'this'as'a'super'exci2ng' adventure;'just'something'you'can'do'down'the'line.'Even'if'she'isn't'very'keen' on'going'to'IKEA,'she'will'open'the'loop,'visualize'the'two'of'you'there'and' have'a'need'for'closure. Just'small'things,'like'sugges2ng'you'take'a'walk'in'a'park'she'loves,'going'to' see'a'movie'she'finds'interes2ng,'stuff'like'that.'You'might'obviously'let'her' close'these'loops'by'taking'her'on'these'adventures,'but'if'it'doesn't'really' work'out'between'you,'these'projec2ons'are'really'a'lot'of'the'reason'why'a' breakup'hurts. Interrup9ng'is'a'way'to'create'open'loops.'It'might'seem'a'liXle'unintui2ve,' but'when'you'interrupt'someone'trying'to'say'something,'you'are'keeping' them'away'from'the'reac2on'they'are'expec2ng'to'what'they'are'about'to'say.' You'then'leave'them'hanging'for'as'long'as'your'interrup2on'lasts,'and'if'you' keep'on'going'for'long'enough,'or'are'very'eager'in'changing'the'subject,'you' basically'open'loop'them'forever.'This'is'considered'rude'behavior,'but'small' interrup2ons'if'you’re'very'interested'in'the'topic'can'be'good'as'long'as'you' bring'the'conversa2on'back'to'where'you'went'on'a'detour'and'allow'the' other'party'to'close'their'loops.'At'least'most'of'them. In'the'same'vein,'not&paying&aZen9on'creates'open'loops'because'people' cannot'get'the'reac2on'they'are'yearning'for.' 147
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When'somebody'asks'what'you'do'for'a'living,'they'are'so'used'to'being'asked' the'same'ques2on'back'that'it'has'become'sort'of'a'protocol.'She'has'all'these' mini'stories'and'canned'answers'ready'to'go. Her: What do you work with? You: I’m a computer programmer. What about you? Her: I'm a hair dresser. By'not'asking'her'back,'she'll'be'ac2vely'wai2ng'to'close'the'loop'where'she' tells'you'what'she'does: Her: What do you work with? You: I’m a computer programmer. Did you do anything fun this weekend? In'this'situa2on,'her'telling'you'what'she'does'for'a'living'is'a'loop'that'she'will' want'to'close,'if'nothing'else'out'of'habit.'This'kind'of'paXern'break'will'open'a' lot'of'loops: • • •
She'will'want'to'tell'you'what'she'does'for'a'living'to'gauge'your' reac2on. She'will'wonder'why'you'don't'care'about'her'profession. You'will'seem'different'to'her,'and'she'will'try'to'figure'you'out.
Breaking'protocol'this'way'is'something'you'll'want'to'use'sparingly'because'it' can'alienate'quickly.'But'do'experiment'with'it. Here'are'some'classic'short'open&loop&rou9nes.'They're'provided'so'you'can' get'a'taste'for'what'open'looping'looks'like'when'you'dis2ll'it.'I'would'probably' not'use'them'religiously.'Not'because'they're'bad,'but'it's'beXer'to'understand' the'concept'and'apply'it'in'a'more'organic'way. "Guess'which'celebrity'you'look'like." 148
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"I'saw'something'that'reminded'me'of'you'today." "I'love'that'thing'you'do'with'your'nose,'it's'so'cute."
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Sexual&seeding It's'really'helpful'for'you'to'do'sexual'seeding.'This'will'basically'give'you' something'to'call'back'to.'Think'of'this'is'a'way'to'transi2on'into'being'sexual,' but'instead'of'doing'this'from'nothing'you're'doing'this'from'a'solid' founda2on. There'are'many'ways'to'introduce'sexual'seeding. Sexual'seeding'is'a'technique'for'doing'priming. I'was'out'on'a'first'date'with'a'girl,'and'I'men2oned'that'I’d'been'stalked'by' another'girl'on'Tinder,'and'I'found'the'experience'a'liXle'creepy'but's2ll'quite' flaXering.'She'went'on'to'tell'me'about'a'male'friend'of'her'that'tended'to' spark'a'strange'behavior'in'his'women. “They'stalk'him'and'come'back'to'his'place.'They'some2mes'send'him' drawings'and'poems.'But'they'don’t'take'their'pants'off,'or'anything.” “They'don’t'take'their'pants'off?'That’s'just'insane.'Why'wouldn’t'they'take' their'pants'off?'They'need'to'take'their'pants'off,'it’s'obvious,”'I'replied. With'this'girl'I'can'use'it'as'an'effec2ve'callback.'We'need'to'meet'up'and'take' our'pants'off.'This'sounds'like'a'constructed'example'with'low'replay'ability,' and'it'is.'The'point'is'that'you'should'be'on'the'lookout'for'sexual'seeds'that' are'contextual'with'a'girl'that'can'be'called'back.'You'don’t'need'to'always' have'seeds'you'create'yourself,'because'they'oRen'come'up'with'these'for'you. When'you'reach'a'level'of'investment'that'is'high'enough,'you'can'do'very' explicit'sexual'seeding.'The'penis'progression'is'an'example'of'such'a'seed. I'also'oRen'send'a'picture'of'bedroom'toys'on'Snapchat'to'make'my'inten2ons' abundantly'clear.'The'picture'is'a'nicely'arranged'setup'with'my'pillow'up'top,' a'ball'gag,'a'paddleglike'thingie'and'a'buXplug.'I'decided'to'not'include'the' picture'in'this'book,'but'it'is'hosted'on'the'site,'you'can'find'a'link'to'it'in'the' 150
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appendix'on'resources. It'is'obviously'highly'polarizing,'so'you'll'need'to'learn'from'experience'when' to'reach'for'blunt'instruments'like'this.'I'use'it'sparingly,'not'because'it'doesn't' work'quite'well,'but'because'it'sets'a'course'for'the'sexual'part'of'the' rela2onship'which'I'm'not'always'interested'in'traveling'in. Again,'because'expecta2ons'drive'percep2on,'you'need'to'make'sure'you'are' at'least'a'liXle'dominant'aRer'such'a'setup,'or'you'will'fall'outside'the' expected'experience,'and'she'will'be'let'down.'Personally,'I'don't'mind'using' these'bedroom'toys,'but'I'like'to'have'a'natural'progression'to'it'and'push' those'experiences'to'a'liXle'later'in'the'rela2onship.
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Liberators A'liberator'is'a'"free'pass"'of'sorts.'A'liberator'can'be'anything;'look'at'them'as' reasons'to'be'able'to'do'what'you'want'to'do.'It'is'sort'of'an'instantaneous' deprogramming'to'remove'the'hurdles'put'up'by'society. Liberators'aren't'sugges2ons'in'the'hypno2c'sense.'Imagine'being'out'on'the' town'with'a'buddy'and'he'buys'a'round'of'tequilas.'You'don't'really'care'for' tequila,'because'it'makes'you'do'insane'shit'without'fail.'But'he'insists.'How' does'he'insist?'Well,'by'and'large'he'will'use'liberators.'A'typical'conversa2on' can'be: "Tequila!" "I'm'not'going'to'have'a'tequila'tonight,'I'do'stupid'things'when'I'm'tequila' drunk." "It's'OK,'it's'been'so'long'since'you'did'anything'stupid." This'doesn't'make'any'logical'sense.'And'it'doesn't'have'to.'A'liberator'is' designed'to'be'a'token'objec2on'or'a'token'reason.'They'are,'however,' insanely'powerful.'Because'they'don't'really'necessarily'make'sense,'it'doesn't' make'sense'to'fight'them'at'a'logical'level.'A'liberator'will'work'when'you'deep' down'want'to'do'something,'but'you've'constructed'a'logical'reason'why'you' shouldn't.' Sex'happens'to'be'one'of'these'things'that'most'people'actually'want'to'do'on' a'very'regular'basis,'but'they'have'logical'reasons'why'they'shouldn't.'This'is' what'makes'liberators'so'effec2ve. Here'are'some'typical'examples'of'liberators. Her: You: Her: You: Her: Her:
"I could offer you a glass of wine." "Wine me, dine me, 69 me?" "Did you just go there? Wow." "It's an old joke. But still, it is spring." "That's true." ;)
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In'this'example'she'asks'me'over,'she'knows'that'she'wants'something.'I'm' asking'her'prior'to'this'snippet'what'she'wants'to'do,'and'I'feel'she's'avoiding' the'main'reason'why'adults'ask'each'other'over.'So'I'press'her'to'commiQng' to'offering'me'a'glass'of'wine.'Then'I'bring'up'the'natural'progression'to' something'sexual,'which'she'needs'to'seem'dismissive'of'to'make'sure'she' doesn't'lose'face.'Then'I'give'her'an'excuse'she'can'pass'on'if'she's'in'a'2ght' spot,'that'it's'an'old'joke,'and'I'liberate'it'with'spring. Spring'is'a'great'liberator'because'in'many'places'it'is'synonymous'with'plants' and'animals'coming'to'life,'new'energy'flowing'through'the'body'and'in' general'being'horny.'I'll'leave'it'as'an'exercise'to'you'to'find'liberators'for'all' seasons.'Make'them'your'own. Here'are'a'bunch'of'liberators'that'I'use'frequently. "You are confident."'This'is'a'qualifying'liberator.'People'who'are'
confident'do'what'they'want.'People'want'sex.'This'is'also'a'powerful'frame' installa2on.'It'will'also'frame'her'a'sexually'aggressive,'which'makes'her'do' more'of'the'work. "As long as everyone is having a good time." "You're not the shy kind."'Again'a'qualifying'frame'installa2on.
Liberators'can'also'be'completely'unrelated.'This'is'an'example'of'a' nonsensical'liberator: "I can't fuck you again, my pussy in broken." "It's OK; it's morning." "OK."
In'this'simple'form,'the'paXern'"token'resistance"'countered'by'a'token' argument'is'very'visible.'It'is'really'good'to'combine'with'a'qualifica2on' 153
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statement: Her: I am all in. T: I like you. You are so open for new things. Her: I choose to see opportunities in all situations. If you do that you'll never have any big problems. :-)
Here'the'liberator'is'combined'with'a'compliment'which'makes'it'easier'to' accept'the'whole'chunk'and'a'qualifying'statement'which'in'this'case'indeed' makes'her'qualify.'This'chunk'will'also'act'as'a'primer;'"you'are'open'for'new' things"'is'a'commitment'she'will'have'to'be'consistent'with'in'the'future.
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Prohibitors People'have'a'tendency'to'want'something'because'you'tell'them'they'can't' have'it.'As'a'trigger,'you'can'refer'to'these'as'prohibitors.'You'prohibit' something'because'you'want'them'to'start'wan2ng'it. "I won't allow you to fall in love with me." "Promise me you won't dream about me tonight." "You're just a little girl, I forbid you to jump in a taxi and come here and bone all night."
These'serve'the'same'purpose'as'a'liberator,'but'they'add'a'liXle'ounce'of' priming'at'the'same'2me.
Sexualizing&an&interac9on&a_er&a&mee9ng There'are'many'ways'to'sexualize'an'interac2on.'If'I've'met'with'a'girl'for'a' date'and'I'failed'to'make'it'sufficiently'clear'that'I'have'a'sexual'interest'in'her,'I' usually'ping'her'with'something'straight'out'of'the'girl'code'dic2onary. A'typical'interac2on'can'be'something'like: T: Did you get home safe? H: Yes, how about you? T: Absolutely. You're fun. Let's hang out some evening.
This'can'be'used'both'to'gauge'her'interest'and'it'helps'to'make'a'statement'of' intent. As'a'rule'of'thumb,'I'try'to'sexualize'an'interac2on'will'all'girls'I'meet'that'I'find' interes2ng'at'all,'even'if'I'feel'the'date'went'really,'really'badly.'It's'not'always' easy'to'read'people,'and'just'by'making'a'statement'of'intent,'she'might'view' you'in'a'different'light. If'she'doesn't'answer,'let'it'go.'Wait'a'couple'of'weeks'and'try'to'revive'the' conversa2on'if'you'must,'but'it's'probably'beXer'to'cut'your'losses'and'move' on. To'you,'this'might'not'seem'like'much'of'a'sexualiza2on'to'you,'but'consider' girl'coding'and'spreading'ac2va2on,'and'you'see'that'a'liXle'goes'a'long'way.
Meta&informa9on We’ll'talk'briefly'about'meta'communica2on'in'a'later'sec2on,'but'here'are' some'good'techniques'for'meta'communica2on'with'people'you'meet'from' Tinder. You'already'have'something'in'common,'for'sure.'You'both'use'Tinder'and/or' Snapchat.'If'you'connected'through'Tinder,'you'should'take'the'2me'to'ask'her' some'ques2ons'about'it. First'of'all,'just'ask'her'in'general'about'her'experiences'using'Tinder.'Does'she' find'many'aXrac2ve'men'on'the'app?'Does'she'meet'up'with'many'of'them? Tell'her'about'your'experiences'as'well.'It'might'be'a'good'idea'to'doctor'the' truth'a'liXle'(or'a'lot)'depending'on'how'hard'you’ve'been'squeezing'your' funnel.'On'the'other'hand,'it'is'a'sign'of'preselec2on'that'you’ve'met'a'lot'of' people'on'here,'but'you'don’t'want'to'come'off'as'if'it'is'a'full'2me'job'for'you. Find'a'good'reason'why'you'signed'up'for'Tinder.'I'like'just'say'that'I'had'a'lot' of'friends'talking'about'it'and'I'had'to'see'what'all'the'fuss'was'about.'It' seemed'like'a'fun'place'to'meet'new'people'and'be'social.'It’s'fun'to'be'a'liXle' spontaneous'and'adventurous'(OK,'you'get'the'point,'you’re'basically'priming' her'with'girl'code'language). I'like'to'tell'the'story'that'I'met'a'girl'3'hours'aRer'signing'up.''Which'is'also'a' true'story.'I'like'to'say'that'I'meet'mainly'fun'people'on'the'service.'It’s'true,'as' Tinder'seems'to'aXract'a'lot'of'“normal”'people.'This'signals'mutual' connec2on,'and'also'preselec2on.'Don’t'diss'other'people'you’ve'met'on'the' service.'Except'for… …the'one'creepy'story.'This'is'also'a'true'story'for'me,'a'girl'I'matched'with'on' Tinder'started'chaQng'to'me'about'having'seen'me'at'the'grocery'store.'She’s' a'super'hot'19'year'old.'She’d'been'following'me'around'the'store,'scoping'out' all'the'stuff'I'bought.'I'found'it'a'liXle'creepy'and'a'liXle'flaXering.'Hard'to' 157
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choose'which. I'also'like'to'add'a'funny'story.'Many'people'would'probably'look'at'this'as'a' classical'bragging'story,'but'it’s'not.'This'is'also'a'true'story,'of'course.'I' matched'with'the'friend'of'a'girl'I'was'previously'da2ng.'I'imagined'my'ex'had' given'me'fantas2c'reviews.'Turns'out'she'didn’t'even'really'recognize'me,'so' that’s'how'much'of'an'impression'I'made'on'her.' It’s'important'to'not'tell'her'that'you'banged'all'these'chicks,'even'if'you'did.' Resist'the'urge'to'even'hint'at'it,'and'instead'opt'for'“it'was'fun”'or'“I'had'a' great'2me”.'You'remember'your'friend'the'open'loop?'Well,'here'it'is'again.' The'less'she'knows'the'more'intrigued'she’ll'be. This'is'also'a'clear'case'of'a'gentleman%never%tells.'Unless'you'have'a'super' 2ght'game'to'make'girls'open'up'to'you'sexually,'it'is'a'good'idea'to' demonstrate'that'you'are'discrete.'She'can'safely'go'to'bed'with'you,'and'you' won't'tell'random'people'you'meet'that'you've'banged'her. All'in'all'I'recommend'you'actually'go'on'dates'and'get'stories'like'these'for' yourself.'Again'this'will'be'part'of'the'whole'experience'thing'that’s'so' beneficial.
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Challenges At'2mes,'girls'will'put'up'challenges'for'you.'Some'people'refer'to'this'as'“shit' tes2ng”;'how'well'do'you'respond'to'the'shit'they'toss'in'your'direc2on?'There' are'plenty'of'good'reasons'for'these'tests,'so'don't'be'surprised'or'annoyed'by' them.'If'you'find'that'she'is'crossing'the'line'and'becoming'uninteres2ng'to' you,'you'can'just'screen'her'out. Some2mes'girls'test'you'to'see'that'you'are'who'you'make'yourself'out'to'be.' You'look'really'confident'in'your'pictures'and'in'your'online'communica2on.'So' she'might'test'you'a'liXle'bit'when'she'meets'you'to'make'sure'it's'not'an' illusion. Also,'she'will'at'2mes'be'unsure'about'what'expecta2ons'you'have'for'the' rela2onship.'Will'you'become'needy'and'try'to'trap'her'in'a'rela2onship'if'she' goes'to'bed'with'you?'What'is'it'you'want'with'her,'exactly? If'you'end'up'being'tested'a'lot,'make'sure'you'communicate'your'intent'more' clearly'and'balance'her'expecta2ons.'Tests'aren't'necessarily'a'sign'that'you're' not'good'enough,'on'the'contrary.'It'could'be'that'she's'just'making'sure'it's'a' sound'investment.'More'oRen'than'not,'it'is'a'just'a'maXer'of'communica2on. Some'of'these'ques2ons'will'be'legi2mate'ques2ons,'and'a'lot'of'them'pose'a' direct'and'permanent'threat'to'your'running.'We’d'do'everyone'a'disservice'if' we'didn’t'explore'some'of'these'typical'challenges'together. The'responses'are'not'necessarily'the'correct'answers,'but'you'should'consider' them'and'understand'why'they'are'decent.
"Why&are&you&on&Tinder?" "All'my'friends'were'making'a'fuss'about'it,'and'I'had'to'see'what'it'was'all' about.'It's'fun'to'be'social'and'meet'new'people.'What'about'you?" Do¬&bring&up&this&ques9on&unless&asked&about&it.&The'main'reason'is'that' depending'on'where'you'are'in'your'conversa2on'she'might'feel'obliged'to' 159
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show'her'"good'girl"gside,'and'it'can'be'hard'to'make'her'break'out'of'it.
"Have&you&met&anyone&from&Tinder?" "I'actually'met'a'girl'the'same'day'I'signed'up.'I'thought'it'was'the'right'thing' to'do.'I've'been'a'liXle'more'reluctant'since.'It's'not'always'people'are'the' same'in'person'as'they'are'on'the'phone." This'is'an'interes2ng'ques2on'in'many'ways,'and'you'can'ask'it'back.'You'can' take'this'discussion'many'places,'like'what'it's'like'for'a'girl'trying'to'meet' people'in'the'city'you're'in.
"What&are&you&looking&for?" "I'm'just'here'to'be'social.'I'mean,'if'you'meet'the'right'person,'who'knows' what'could'happen?'But'I'm'just'looking'to'have'some'fun'first,'enjoy'myself." Do'not'ask'this'ques2on'yourself,'but'bounce'it'back'when'you'have'provided' her'with'your'answer.'It'will'make'it'easy'for'her'to'say'that'she'feels'the'same' way,'and'you've'essen2ally'helped'her'with'some'libera2on.
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Scripts Scripts'are'taking'rou2nes'a'step'further.'Again,'you'can'look'at'these'scripts'as' being'examples'only,'but'these'can'be'run'preXy'much'verba2m'with'an' expecta2on'of'success.'They’re'here'to'give'you'the'op2on'of'following'them' or'to'illustrate'how'the'different'concepts'2e'together. When'you'get'beXer'and'you'get'exposed'to'how'interac2ons'online'unfold,' you'can'drop'these'completely.'These'days'I'mainly'focus'on'knocking'down' two'or'three'hurdles'and'working'on'logis2cs.
The&Test The'test'is'a'well'tested'script'that'is'simple'to'follow'from'absolute'beginning' to'meet'and'it'has'a'fairly'high'success'rate.'The'secret'to'its'success'is'basically' to'create'investment'and'open'loops.'It'has'a'small'amount'of'sexualiza2on'in' it. This'was'the'first'script'I'started'out'with'that'I'was'reasonably'successful'with.' I'do'not'know'its'original'origin,'but'it'was'not'invented'here.'So'kudos'to' whoever'came'up'with'it. Opening:'“Are'you'ready'for'your'test,'Name?” Get'her'to'say'yes'somehow,'this'is'usually'easy.'Most'reply'"Go'ahead!",' "Always'ready!",'"What'kind'of'test?".' Then'you'ask'her'to'pick'a'preference'from'a'number'of'op2ons.'My'stack'is' preXy'simple.' • • • • •
Do'you'prefer'red'or'white'wine? Choose'between'a'walk'in'the'park'and'going'to'the'cinema. Steak,'Italian,'Chinese,'Indian'or'sushi? Are'you'liXle'or'big'spoon? What'are'three'good'books'you've'read'lately? 161
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Every'2me'she'answers,'you'decide'whether'you'comment'on'her'response'or' just'move'on'to'the'next'ques2on.'If'you'find'her'response'interes2ng,'by'all' means,'engage'in'normal'conversa2on.'You'can'always'return'to'the'test'at'a' later'point.'Just'make'sure'you'don't'end'up'chaNng%too%much. An'alterna2ve'is'to'make'your'exchanges'like'this: You: Choose between a walk in the park and going to the cinema. Her: Walk in the park. You: Sporty! Steak, Italian, Chinese, Indian or sushi?
I'usually'like'to'clarify'at'some'point'where'in'the'city'they'are,'I'just'ask' "Where'about'in'the'city'are'you?".'This'might'fit'nicely'into'the'habit'of' answering'ques2ons,'so'it'could'be'"part'of'the'test". The'good'thing'about'running'this'script'mul2ple'2mes'is'that'you'become' familiar'with'the'responses.'You'come'up'with'funny'ways'to'drive'the' interac2on'forward'even'when'she'tries'to'grind'it'to'a'halt.'It's'easy'to'map' out'these'things,'and'the'script'is'very'consistent'in'crea2ng'investment. I'would'top'it'off'with'a's2gma2za2on'to'logis2cs. See'an'example'of'running'this'script'here:'Example.
More&scripts? No.'And'there’s'a'reason'for'it. It’s'not'bad'to'rely'on'scripts'as'a'learning'and'calibra2on'tool.'It'is,'however,' bad'to'be'in'a'situa2on'where'you'need'to'constantly'game'girls'online.'This'is' a'sign'of'a'sloppy'funnel,'and'we’ll'look'at'this'in'a'later'sec2on'when'we'get'to' intermediate'game.'There'I'will'present'something'that'looks'a'lot'like'a'more' sophis2cated'script,'but'the'format'is'looser.'But'don’t'skip'ahead'quite'yet,' and'do'try'out'The%Test. 162
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Also,'you'should'be'able'to'compose'perfectly'good'script'using'the'techniques' and'concepts'on'your'own'if'you'need'to.'But'the'sooner'you'understand'that' this'isn’t'about'what'you'say'but'rather'about'funnel'transfer'the'beXer.
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Rapport Rapport'is'when'you're'communica2ng'to'someone,'and'you'feel'on'the'same' wavelength;'that'the'interac2on'just'clicks,'you're'synchronized'somehow. It'might'seems'strange'to'discuss'rapport'online,'but'trust'me,'it'is'not.'How' you'communicate'online'can'create'the'illusion'of'immediate'connec2on'and' understanding.'This'is'as'simple'as'crea2ng'rapport'in'real'life,'maybe'even'so,' because'it'can'all'be'calculated,'whereas'in'real'life'it'will'be'somewhat'reliant' on'factors'that'are'harder'to'control. You'might'have'been'told'to'spice'up'your'conversa2ons'using'smileys,& emo2cons'or'emojis.'Don't'do'this.'Do'not'ever'do'this,'unless'she%does%it%first.' Some'girls'hate'smileys'with'a'passion,'and'with'good'reason.'You'might'think' that'your'smileys'convey'some'sort'of'enigma,'but'oRen'it'just'communicates'a' low'tension'threshold.'Like'that'guy'who'tries'to'be'edgy'but'can't'stand'the' tension'created'by'his'own'ac2on'so'he'needs'to'constantly'sprinkle'in'"just' kidding"'to'deflate. Do'not'use'substan2ally'more'smileys'than'her.'Try'to's2ck'with'the'same' smileys'as'her.'You'might'have'found'an'approach'to'using'smileys'aRer'years' of'online'presence,'so'I'won't'preach,'but'here'are'my%personal%rules%and% preferences: Never'ever'use'these'smileys:' ;) :P
You'don't'need'to'exactly'mirror'a':g)—'you'can'use'these'instead: :) 8)
I'personally'prefer'going'without'the'nose,'it'looks'like'your'grandma'is'smileyg ing.
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Try'to'use'the'same&kind&of&language.'If'she'seems'like'a'well'educated' woman,'scale'your'vocabulary'up.'Try'to'match'her'level.'Do'mind'your'spelling' and'punctua2on.'Some'gurus'will'say'that'typing'correctly'is'try%hard,'but'the' truth'is'that'bad'spelling'and'punctua2on'is'a'point'of'polariza2on,'and'you' never'ever'lost'a'girl'because'your'spelling'was'too'good.'Believing'this'is' idiocy. Try'to'organise'your'texts'into'roughly'the'same'chunk&size'as'her.'Some'people' will'say'that'you'should'try'to'write'a'liXle'less'than'her'because'you'seem'to' be'inves2ng'less,'but'it's'not'as'important'as'matching'the'rough'chunk'size.'If' she'is'wri2ng'a%lot,'write'less. Also,'your'messages'should'come'at'roughly'the'same'frequency.'If'you're' constantly'typing'two'sentences'for'her'every'one,'you're'doing'something' wrong.'If'she'is'wri2ng'really%quickly,'write'more'slowly. In'the'old'days'I'would'some2mes'try'to'create'a'false'delay'on'my'answers'to' match'her'wri2ng'speed'to'create'rapport.'I'was'told'this'also'made'me'seem' busy'and'important.'This'works'to'a'degree,'but'I've'come'to'favor'building'and' keeping'momentum'over'rapport'and'the'illusion'of'grandeur.'Feel'free'to' experiment'with'this.
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Pacing When'it'comes'to'online'communica2on,'pacing'is'key.'It'is'incredibly' important'because'it'communicates'so'incredibly'much.'As'they'say'in'NLP,'it%is% impossible%to%not%communicate.'Total'silence'can'communicate'just'as'much'as' the'loudest'shout. Silence&and&pausing&is&really&powerful.'If'you'say'something'that's'an'obvious' overextension'and'you'in'hindsight'understand'that'it's'not'going'to'be'well' received'on'the'other'end,'wait%it%out.'I'have'no'idea'how'many'2mes'I've'said' something'overly'sexual'only'to'regret'it,'but'when'I's2ck'to'this'rule,'I'm' consistently'surprised'at'how'well'it'is'received'because'of'the'vacuum'of' silence'that'is'created.'This'is'a'game'where'if'you'speak'first,'you'lose.'And' extremely'oRen,'she'll'cave'in'and'laugh,'or'just'be'plain'amazed'at'how'direct' you'are.' This%can%take%hours%and%days.'I'm'not'talking'about'wai2ng'for'five'minutes,'I'm' talking'about'wai2ng'at%least%a%couple%of%days. The'absolute'worst'thing'to'do'in'this'situa2on'is'to'try'to'remedy'the'situa2on' by'doing'an'adjustment.'"That'was'silly'of'me",'"I'shouldn't'have'said'that",' "I'm'just'kidding".'These'are'the'marks'of'the'true'amateur,'and'once'you'even' try'to'do'any'of'that'shit,'you'will'have'lost.'Do'not'be'the'one'to'break'the' silence'aRer'a'high'tension'move. If'she'doesn't'answer,'try'again'in'a'couple'of'days.'Start'up'a'completely' different'conversa2on'with'the'same'person.' Avoid&silence&rage.'If'she'doesn't'respond'to'you,'it's'OK.'If'this'consistently' enrages'you,'you'should'stay'away'from'online'communica2ons'altogether,' because'it'will'happen'to'you. It'is'completely'possible'to'condi2on'yourself'to'stop'raging.'A'good'technique' is'to'“fire'and'forget”,'meaning'that'you'fire'off'a'message'and'minimize'the' window'and'work'with'something'else.'You'will'obviously'return'to'the'app'in' 166
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not'too'long,'because'you'don’t'want'to'kill'your'momentum.' Abundance'is'also'going'to'help'you'get'over'silence'rage.'When'you'have' more'matches,'you'simply'won’t'have'the'reason'or'2me'to'care'as'much. Silence&is&a&tool&to&build&tension.'If'she'is'invested'in'you,'silence'will'make'her' uncertain.'Tension'is'a'func2on'of'investment'and'uncertainty.'She'will'break' the'tension'when'it'reaches'her'threshold. ORen2mes'when'you'deploy'the'techniques'in'this'book,'you’ll'see'her'star2ng' to'use'winky&smileys.'This'is'very'oRen'her'trying%to%pace%you.'If'she'does'this' in'direct'response'to'something'you'say,'you'can'safely'escalate'the' conversa2on.'
Example:&Geraldine&(35) G: Hi there :-) T: Hellohello. T: Where you at? G: Name of street. You? T: Name of neighboring city. T: It’s going to be difficult. Unless you’re here quite often. G: I am really not. T: Ok. Let me know if you decide to take the trip. G: I will. I have a lot of family in town. :-) T: Good. You’re cute. G: Thank you very much! You look good yourself. ;-)
From'here'I'went'straight'to'the'penis'progression,'and'she'is'currently'eagerly' sending'me'nudes'and'planning'her'trip'over.'This'is'an'interes2ng'example,' because'you'can'see'her'ini2a2ng'me'and'scoping'out'the'logis2cal'situa2on' right'away,'much'in'the'way'I'oRen2mes'do'myself.'I’m'also'making'myself' scarce'quite'early.
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Best&9me&for&communica9on I'usually'communicate'on'Tinder'during'the'waking'hours'of'the'day.'If'I'intend' to'meet'someone'at'a'club,'I'talk'to'them'when'they're'usually'at'a'warmupg party.'I'try'not'to'send'sexually'loaded'messages'at'night. If'you'just'think'about'what'it'communicates'when'you'send'messages'at'odd' hours,'you'll'probably'be'OK.'I've'seen'many'people'have'different'takes'on' this,'and'I'think'there'might'be'no'"right"'answer.'Sending'drunken'messages' on'Saturday'night'will'be'polarizing'like'a'lot'of'other'things.'Just'have'a' conscious'rela2onship'to'it.
Blocking&and&being&blocked You're'going'to'get'blocked.'You'can'either'be'a'man'and'just'suck'it'up,'or'you' can'ra2onalize'that'the'person'probably'deleted'their'Tinder'profile'by' accident,'and'that'they'regret'it'and'are'madly'in'love'with'you.'Both'are' approximately'equally'likely. I'personally'don't'block'that'oRen,'as'I'use'my'number'of'matches'as'a' benchmark'for'how'my'profile'is'doing.'I'occasionally'block'male'profiles,'but' not'religiously.
Mistakes We’ve'talked'about'polariza2on'and'improving,'and'how'these'are'different' things.'It'doesn’t'make'sense'to'not'also'talk'a'liXle'bit'about'things'that'are' almost'always%wrong.' The'first'mistake'you'can'do'on'Tinder'is'to'not&make&contact.'Depending'on' how'many'matches'you'get,'it'can'either'be'a'burden'to'contact'someone' because'you'have'too'many.'It'can'also'be'a'burden'because'you're'afraid'to' burn'a'cute'match. When'you'chat'with'someone'online,'it’s'quite'common'to'start'fishing&for& commonali9es.'This'will'create'the'illusion'of'investment,'but'it'won’t'really'be' an'investment.' Fishing'for'commonali2es'is'mostly'a'bad'thing.'It’s'not'bad'to'have'similar' interests'and'discuss'them,'but'don’t'go'probing'for'them'online.'This'is' something'that’s'way'beXer'to'do'when'you'meet'in'real'life,'and'the'more'of' this'probing'you’ve'done'online,'the'less'you’ll'have'to'explore'when'you'meet.' It'will'just'feel'like'a'rehash,'and'you’ve'really'just'burned'a'lot'of'topics'that' you'could'enjoy'discussing'facegtogface. On'Tinder'you'don’t'need'any'commonali2es'to'meet,'except'the'fact'that'you' like'each'other'and'matched.'The'less'you'communicate'online'before'mee2ng' the'beXer,'because'you’ll'have'an'easier'2me'closing'the'gap'between' prospect'(your'online'persona)'and'product'(you'in'real'life). Keep'in'mind'that'the'more'she'knows'about'you'before'you'meet,'the'less' mys2que'there'will'be'and'also'less'tension.'Just'make'her'feel'invested' enough'to'meet'you,'don't'make'her'overinvest. Also,'try'not'to'be'self&depreca9ng.'There'is'a'tendency'to'self'deprecate'if'you' have'a'low'tension'threshold,'if'you'feel'she's'overinves2ng'in'you'because'of' something'you'haven't'deserved.'Self'depreca2on'is'a'typical'tension'release' mechanism,'and'it's'really'bad.'Start'no2cing'when'you'self'deprecate'and'try' 170
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to'replace'the'behavior'with'something'more'meaningful.'When'you'feel'the' need'for'self'depreca2on'rising,'try'and'swap'it'out'for'a'nonchalant'shrug.'Self' depreca2on'is'one'of'those'things'that'will'probably'disappear'with' abundance,'but'it's'helpful'to'know'about'it'so'it's'easier'to'target. Try'not'to'embellish.'You'are'who'you'are'and'your'accomplishments'are'what' they'are.'It'is'beXer'to'undersell'something'than'to'oversell'it.'Why?'Well,'we' have'spoken'about'it'many'2mes'before,'but'let's'go'again.'If'you'try'to'sell' something,'it'gives'the'impression'that'it'needs'selling.'Speak'of'your' accomplishments'maXergofgfactly'and'it's'beXer'to'cut'it'short'than'be'overly' verbose. The'most'important'thing'about'making'mistakes'is'that'you'don't&be&sad.'And' I'don't'mean'that'you'need'to'walk'around'always'being'happy,'your'mood'is' what'it'is.'But'don't'let'the'fact'that'you'actually'do'make'mistakes,'and'you' will,'bring'you'down.'Sooner'or'later'you'll'get'the'number'for'a'girl'who's' super'hot,'at'least'in'the'pictures,'and'you'll'get'drunk'and'call'her,'burning' that'prospect'forever. This'happens'to'everyone.'I'personally'have'an'almost'chronic'condi2on'where' I'get'drunk'and'profess'my'undying'love'to'girls.'And'I'do,'right'then,'of'course,' love'them'with'all'of'my'drunken'heart.'I'know'that'the'act'I'm'about'to'do'is' needy.'I's2ll'do'it.'But'I've'stopped'being'sad%about%it. What'kind'of'mistakes'you'do'is'up'to'you.'But'use'your'ability'for'20/20' hindsight'to'use'it'as'a'learning'experience.'Journal'it.'Discuss'it'with'the' people'in'your'group.
Self&sabotage Unfortunately,'most'of'us'aren't'really'that'used'to'success,'nor'the'road'to'it.' When'we'get'closer'to'it,'we'have'a'tendency'to'sabotage'ourselves. One'of'the'main'reasons'for'this'sabotage'is'that'the'tension&becomes&too& high,'and'surpasses'our'threshold.'When'this'happens,'we'start'to'panic,' 171
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looking'for'a'way'to'release'the'tension.'Typically,'if'you're'not'used'to' succeeding'and'it'starts'to'look'like'you'might,'you'will'ac2vely'lower'your'own' chances'at'it.'This'is'a'way'to'release'tension,'because'tension'is'higher'when' there'is'a'50/50'chance'of'geQng'the'desired'outcome. You'will'also'find'that'you've'oRen'already'sabotaged'yourself'logis2cally.' Perhaps'you'didn't'bother'to'clean'your'room,'and'there's'no'way'you're'even' going'to'show'that'mess'to'your'dream'girl.'This'is'also'a'func2on'of'tension,' because'you're'keeping'the'likelihood'of'you'hooking'up'low.' This'can'be'traced'back'to'a'feeling'of'self'worth'and'deservedness'issues.'The' problems'can'be'shallow'or'deep,'but'they'are'outside'the'scope'of'the'book' to'fix.'Some'of'the'techniques'discussed'do'apply'to'it'in'a'general'manner,' however. The'good'news'is'that'your'tension'threshold'is'going'to'rise'with'experience' and'exposure.'It'will'also'rise'with'your'feeling'of'abundance.'But'keep'in'mind' that'these'things'are'very'real,'and'if'you'find'them'hampering'you' consistently,'look'outside'of'this'book'for'help.
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Funnelling Now'that'we'have'this'understanding'of'how'communica2on'is'done,'we'need' to'put'this'into'a'larger'system,'namely'the%funnel.'Funnelling'your'prospects' will'allow'you'to'dras2cally'increase'your'yield'for'a'number'of'reasons. The'first'is'that'you'capture'all'prospects'into'one'system.'This'means'that'you' set'up'a'funnel'and'insert'your'prospects'that'are'interes2ng.'Get'your' matches'from'Tinder,'people'you'have'a'connec2on'with'on'Snapchat,' numbers'you'get'in'the'clubs'and'throw'it'all'into'your'funnel.' Funnelling'allows'you'to'easily'see'where'you'suck,'in'other'words,'it'allows' you'to'understand'where'your'game'needs'work'and'why'you’re'losing' prospects.'This'is'incredibly'important,'because'if'you'don’t'know'what'you’re' doing'wrong,'how'would'you'ever'go'about'trying'to'correct'it? Funnelling'also'allows'you'to'gauge'which'technique'to'use'when.'The'main' reason'for'using'the'exact'funnel'I’m'using'when'you'start'out,'is'that'I'have' annotated'the'different'lanes'with'different'techniques.'In'other'words,'it' serves'as'a'roadmap'that’s'easy'to'follow.'Did'you'just'match'with'someone' from'Tinder?'Great,'toss'her'into'the'prospectsglane.'Want'to'start'your' conversa2on?'Great,'look'at'the'descrip2on'of'the'prospects'lane'to' understand'how'to'get'started.'Conversa2on'going'good?'Superb,'look'in'the' communica2ons'lane'and'see'how'to'propose'a'meet?'She’s'stopped' responding?'Sucks'to'be'you,'but'just'toss'her'into'the'staleglane'and'read'its' descrip2on'to'understand'how'to'revive'the'conversa2on.'And'so'on. The'concepts'and'techniques'we'have'discussed'previously'are'all'excellent.' But'they'are'nuts'and'bolts.'Funnelling,'like'the'assembly'instruc2ons'on'an' IKEA'wardrobe,'sheds'light'on'how'these'nuts'and'bolts'fit'together.'It'helps' with'the'sequencing'of'techniques.'It'helps'with'the'2ming'of'techniques.'It' helps'with'con2ngencies.'It'helps'you'understand'how'the'whole%process%of% seduc1on%plays%out.'And'finally,'it'helps'to'give'you'concrete'experience'in'the' 173
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things'you'actually'need'the'most.
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SeVng&up&a&funnel You'need'to'technically'set'up'a'system'to'handle'your'funnelling'needs.'My' personal'favourite'for'this'is'Trello,'and'that’s'the'system'I’ll'be'using'for'my' examples.'You’ll'find'other'systems'that'do'the'same,'but'Trello'is'free,'fully' featured'and'preXy'awesome.
A%typical%Trello%funnel,%here%shown%with%different%s1ckers. The'main'features'needed'from'a'funnelling'system'is'that'you'can'add'work' items'(in'this'case,'girls)'into'different'categories'or'lists'or'lanes.'These'lanes' describe'the'different'states'a'girl'can'be'in'at'any'given'2me. These'are'the'lanes'you'are'recommended'to'start'out'with'(from'leR'to'right): • • • • • • • • • •
Backlog Problema2c Stale Prospect Communica2on Loose'mee2ng Met Date Done Stable
Depending'on'which'lane'a'girl'is'in,'you'will'deploy'different'tac2cs. 175
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I’ll'present'a'fully'working'system'that’s'good'for'star2ng'out,'and'also' recommend'some'tweaks'you'can'do'to'it'if'you'feel'it'makes'sense. Now,'sor2ng'the'girls'into'these'different'lanes'can'some2mes'be'not'self' explanatory.'If'you’re'ever'in'doubt'which'lane'a'girl'belongs'in,'try'turning'it' around:'Given'her'current'state,'which'tac2c'is'beXer'to'employ?'Then,'put'her' in'the'lane'that'recommends'that'tac2c.' A'concrete'example'of'this'might'be'that'you’ve'actually'met'a'girl'but'the' communica2on'has'dried'out.'Do'you'keep'her'in'the'“Met”glane,'or'do'you' move'her'to'the'“Stale”glane?'It'depends'on'whether'you'personally'think'the' tac2cs'recommended'in'the'“Met”glane'apply'more'than'the'tac2cs' recommended'in'the'“Stale”glane.'Most'of'the'2me,'however,'it'will'be' extremely'clear'where'a'prospect'belongs. When'adding'girls'to'your'lanes,'decide'how'you'priori2ze'them.'There'are' many'sensible'ways'to'priori2ze,'just'decide'on'one'and's2ck'to'it.'I'priori2ze' by'how'much%I%want%them,'meaning'that'I'sort'the'girls'I'like'the'best'the' highest.'To'you'it'might'be'sensible'to'sort'it'by'who'requires'the'next'ac2on' on'your'behalf.'The'important'part'here'is'that'you'decide'on'a'system'and'sort' all'lanes'uniformly,'as'this'will'make'it'easier'to'maintain'the'system'over'2me. While'Trello'is'a'preXy'great'tool,'is'has'some'shortcomings.'Some'of'these'can' be'remedied'using'extensions'for'your'web'browser.'You'can'do'some'research' on'your'own'to'see'how'these'extensions'can'make'your'life'beXer,'but'one' you’ll'probably'want'to'have'from'day'one'is'the'extension'that'shows'you'how' many'items'are'in'each'list. For'Google'Chrome,'this'extension'is'called'Trello'List'Count. Other'extensions'will'allow'you'to'do'things'like'export'to'Excel,'do'color' coding'and'so'on.'Check'it'out.
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Tinder'has'the'concept'of'lists'built'in,'and'you'can'use'it'to'do'your'funnelling.' It'is'not'ideal,'as'the'list'system'isn't'very'good,'and'capturing'data'into'Trello' allows'you'to'consolidate'data'from'mul2ple'sources'in'a'more'cohesive' manner. I'personally'don't'use'the'lists,'but'it's'good'to'know'they'exist;'perhaps'they' work'perfectly'for'you.'Keep'in'mind'that'a'list'can'be'used'for'other'things' than'funnelling.'If'you'travel'between'ci2es,'for'instance,'you'could'capture' some'of'these'cross'cuQng'concerns'with'Tinder'lists. If'you’re'using'auto'clicker'and'you’re'on'the'go,'it'can'actually'be'a'good'idea' to'create'one'single'Tinder'list'that'you'promote'your'interes2ng'matches'to.'It' provides'rudimentary'filtering'and'is'actually'very'helpful. For'me'it'seems'that'anything'more'advanced'than'this'is'unsuitable'for'Tinder' lists,'but'again;'it'might'be'perfectly'suited'for'your'needs.'Try'them'out!
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Why&you&funnel As'you'start'feeding'your'funnel'with'prospects,'you'can'at'a'glance'see'a' number'of'things. There'are'many'benefits'to'doing'funnelling,'and'part'of'this'boils'down'to' pure'data'management.'When'you'have'500'matches'on'Tinder,'how'are'you' supposed'to'be'able'to'care'for'all'of'them'using'the'mediocre'tools'that'the' Tinder'app'provides? Also,'how'are'you'supposed'to'remember'who'is'interested'in'mee2ng'with' you?'Who'you'need'to'chat'with'some'more?'Who'is'in'town'and'who's'not? It'just'becomes'unbearable'to'actually'handle'that'amount'of'data. Given'the'current'set'of'prospects'in'the'funnel,'who'do'you'focus&on&next?' Ideally,'you'can'work'all'funnels'from'the'top'down,'and'move'the'girls'you' find'the'cutest'up'top. Also,'looking'at'the'different'funnels,'it'should'be'fairly'simple'to'decide'what& to&do.'The'balance'of'the'lanes'will'tell'you'where'you're'lagging'behind'and' where'you'keep'making'mistakes.
The&stages&of&the&funnel Let’s'look'at'the'stages'of'funnelling.'As'I'men2oned,'these'can'obviously'be' tailored'to'your'needs,'but'before'you'do'any'tailoring,'check'out'this' recommended'star2ng'point.'Also,'it'is'important'to'understand'that'the' funnel'can'be'easily'adjusted'on'the'fly,'so'there’s'no'need'to'worry'about' commiQng'to'something'that'doesn’t'work.
Prospects A'prospect'is'someone'you'have'a'line'of'communica2on'to'and'you'find' interes2ng.'Typical'prospects'are'Tinder'matches'and'Snapchat'contacts.'If'you' decide'to'apply'this'system'for'other'media'(and'there’s'no'reason'not'to),'it' could'also'include'girls'who’s'phone'number'you’ve'goXen'in'a'club'or' someone'you'meet'regularly'in'other'arenas. The'purpose'of'having'a'prospectsglane'is'that'you'want'them'to'meet'up'in' the'real'world.'This'means'that'you'wait'with'building'momentum'with'these' people'un2l'you'know'when'you'have'the'opportunity'to'meet'up.'If'your' calendar'is'jam'packed'next'week,'wait.'If'you're'going'on'a'two'week'vaca2on,' just'wait.'Failure'to'to'capitalize'on'momentum'is'seQng'the'interac2on'up'for' failure. The'only'sensible'progression'from'prospect'is'to'communica9on,'and'to'make' 179
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this'progression'check'out'the'ini9a9on'sec2on'of'the'techniques.
Stale Stale'prospects'are'people'you'have'had'communica2ons'with,'but'it’s'been'a' while,'and'it’s'hard'to'gauge'whether'there’s'something'there.' You'want'to'get'stale'prospects'to'the'communica9onglane,'and'to'do'this,' check'out'the'reviving&dead&conversa9ons'techniques.
Communica9ons The'communica9onglane'is'for'people'who'you'are'currently'talking'to. The'majority'of'the'techniques'outlined'are'applicable'in'the'communica2ons' lane.'Keep'in'mind'that'you'don’t%want%people%here%for%too%long.'ChaQng'on' the'mobile'phone'for'hours'on'end'is'to'no'one’s'benefit. The'desired'progression'from'the'communica9onglane'is'to'the'dateglane.' You'want'to'setup'a'meet'in'the'first'or'second'communica2on.'This'is'to'keep' momentum.'For'you'to'be'able'to'setup'this'meet,'you'need'to'have'control' over'your'logis2cal'situa2on;'your'2me'and'poten2al'places'to'meet.'There'is' no'point'in'star2ng'a'conversa2on'with'someone'before'you'have'2me'slots' ready.'As'we'discussed'in'the'data'management'sec2on,'a'good'system'for' 2me'management'is'vital'to'make'this'happen.'It'is'insanely'irrita2ng'to'look'at' an'unprepared'week'and'see'the'extremely'high'number'of'conversa2ons'that' end'up'needing'to'be'revived'simply'because'you'didn’t'bother'with'normal' 2me'management. Also,'it'is'important'to'push'for'an'early%meet.'This'means'that'you'try'to'meet' anywhere'from'in'30'minutes'to'in'a'couple'of'days.'Planning'too'far'ahead' increases'the'chance'of'flaking,'and'it'just'adds'a'lot'of'complexity.' See'the'sec2on'seQng'up'a'meet'for'2ps'on'how'to'effec2vely'set'up'a' mee2ng'in'real'life. 180
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Loose&mee9ng
The'loose&mee9ngglane'is'for'people'you’ve'discussed'mee2ng'and'they’ve' agreed'to'it'without'seQng'a'date,'place'and'2me.'This'is'poten2ally'a'very' problema2c'lane,'and'you'should'be'wary'of'a'lot'of'prospects'ending'up'here.' It'means'that'you'need'to'tweak'your'appointment'making.'In'other'words,' having'prospects'in'loose'mee2ng'might'not'even'be'a'desired'state'for'you. The'desired'progression'from'loose&mee9ngglane'is'back'to'the' communica9onglane'and'then'to'the'dateglane. It'is'easy'that'these'prospects'go'stale,'so'be'brutally'honest'about'your' assessment'of'the'situa2on'and'move'them'accordingly. Relevant'techniques'here'are'seQng'up'a'meet'and'reviving'dead' conversa2ons.
Date The'dateglane'is'for'people'where'you'have'a'concrete'date'set'up.'Keep'in' mind'that'this'doesn’t'have'to'be'a'“date”gdate,'it'could'just'as'well'be'you' deciding'that'you'should'go'over'to'her'house.'Right'now.' The'desired'progression'from'the'dateglane'is'to'the'doneglane'or'the'metg lane,'depending'on'your'eagerness'and'proficiency.'Another'possible'lane'is' the'discardedglane. Make'sure'you'do'you'2me'management'and'actually'meet'the'people'you'set' up'meets'with.'This'should'be'unnecessary'to'point'out,'but'make'sure'your' logis2cs'are'in'place.'Check'out'this'sec2on'on'mee2ng'in'real'life.
Met The'metglane'is'for'girls'you'have'met. The'metglane'can'be'both'exhilara2ng'and'depressing.'From'here'anything'can' happen,'but'there'are'quite'a'few'specifics'you'can'apply'when'in'the'metg 181
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lane. This'is'a'preXy'good'place'to'start'pushing.'Not'in'the'sense'that'you'want' anyone'to'become'uncomfortable,'but'you'would'want'to'balance' expecta2ons.'This'is'oRen'done'through'making'a'clear'statement'of'intent,'so' you'should'check'out'the'techniques'used'for'that. The'desired'progression'from'the'metglane'is'back'to'the'dateglane. I'use'the'sexualizing'an'interac2ongtechnique.'If'you're'feeling'par2cularly' gutsy,'try'the'penis'progression,'which'is'also'made'for'sexualizing'an' interac2on,'but'in'a'way'that's'very'hard'to'misread.
Done The'doneglane'is'for'girls'you'have'"done".'This'doesn't'mean'that'the' interac2on'is'finished,'however.'If'you'want'to'get'a'girlfriend,'a'lot'of'the'same' concepts'actually'apply.'And,'as'you'have'probably'understood'by'now,'just' because'a'girl'will'sleep'with'you,'she'might'not'want'to'be'associated'with'you' in'the'future. Looking'at'it'this'way,'you'can'almost'consider'having'sex'with'someone'a' natural'stage'in'the'funnel,'and'necessary'for'geQng'a'girlfriend.'A'lot'of'the' challenges'are'the'same'as'before,'and'are'oRen'handled'the'same'way. Want'to'spend'more'2me'with'her?'Tell'her,'by'giving'her'a'clear'statement'of' intent.'She’s'not'interested?'Back'off'and'increase'investment.' Personally,'I'hate'playing'mind'games,'and'my'worst'nightmare'is'to'end'up'in'a' rela2onship'with'someone'where'I'need'to'constantly'game'the'other'person' to'get'what'I'want.'I'don’t'want'that'for'myself'and'I'don’t'want'it'for'you. I'hope'you'agree'that'this'is'a'huge'topic'and'is'outside'the'scope'of'the'book,' but'a'lot'of'the'concepts'and'techniques'are'universal'and'will'aid'you.
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Stable The'stableglane'is'for'girls'you'are'doing'regularly.'Feel'free'to'call'this'the' haremglane'if'it'strokes'your'ego'the'right'way.'I'm'not'going'to'preach'to'you' about'what'to'do'in'this'lane,'just'make'sure'everybody'involved'is'having'a' good'2me.
Problema9c The'problema9cglane'is'for,'well,'communica2ons'that'have'gone'problema2c.' It'could'be'that'she'won't'stop'shit'tes2ng'you.'She'could'be'a'friend'of'a'girl' you've'been'with'before,'or'she'might'be'a'raving'luna2c. There'isn't'a'single'way'of'fixing'problems.'Just'put'them'in'this'lane'and' migrate'them'to'either'the'discardedglane'or'communica2onglane,'depending' on'how'you'do.
Discarded The'discardedglane'is'for'girls'you’ve'decided'not'to'waste'more'2me'on,'for' whatever'reason.'This'is'obviously'an'op2onal'lane,'as'you'can'also'use'the' Archivegfunc2on'in'Trello'to'delete'cards.
Backlog If'you'get'in'a'situa2on'where'you'are'unable'to'manage'your'full'funnel'on'a' daily'basis,'but'at'the'same'2me'are'unwilling'to'discard'prospects,'create'a' backlog'lane.'All'prospects'you'do'not'currently'have'the'2me'to'work'on'are' pushed'to'this'lane.'Whenever'you'do'collec2on'of'prospects'through'your' other'sources,'periodically'check'with'your'backlog'to'see'whether'the' prospects'in'it'are'more'important'than'the'new'ones'floa2ng'in.'If'the'new' ones'floa2ng'in'seem'equally'interes2ng,'go'with'them,'as'you'will'be'riding'on' match'momentum. This'is'an'op2onal'lane,'because'a'fine'tuned'funnel'doesn’t'really'need'it.
Work At'first'glance,'this'might'seem'as'work'to'you.'Make'no'mistake;'it'is. 183
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For'many'people,'however,'it'will'be'enjoyable'work,'but'if'you’ve'ever'worked' in'sales,'this'whole'process'is'going'to'look'familiar'to'you. If'you'feel'that'you'start'falling'behind,'you'can'adopt'the'daily'calendar' system.'I'got'introduced'to'this'system'from'some'produc2vity'blog,'I'cannot' remember'which,'but'it'was'called'the'"Jerry'Seinfeld'Method".'You'basically' print'out'a'calendar'of'the'current'month,'and'every'day'when'you'do'your' job,'you'get'to'put'an'X'in'the'current'day.'The'longer'the'chain'grows,'the' worse'it'is'to'break'it.' So'what'is'a'sensible'daily'workload?' Ideally,'you'should'be'able'to'work'all%your%prospects%every%day.'In'the' beginning,'this'won’t'really'be'much'of'a'challenge,'as'your'funnel'will'be' empty.'But'as'2me'passes,'you’ll'get'more'into'your'funnel,'and'this'will'seems' more'like'work.'So'basically,'the'size'of'your'funnel'should'be'propor2onal'to' how'much'work'you'are'able'to'put'into'it.'In'other'words,'as'you'become' more'efficient,'you'can'increase'the'size'of'the'funnel. An'advice'on'laying'out'your'daily'work: • Make'sure'to'catch'up'on'the'new'profiles'by'swiping'them'leR/ right.'This'becomes'less'of'a'burden'if'you'do'things'The'Right'Way'(simply' swipe'all'to'the'right). • Quickly'skim'your'matches'every'day'and'see'if'there'are'any' supernovas'there.'These'need'to'make'it'into'your'funnel. • Take'a'look'at'the'totality'of'your'funnel'every'day.'Are'you' managing'to'work'all'prospects'in'it?'If'you'aren’t,'create'another'lane'called' Backlog'and'put'the'neglected'prospects'into'this'lane.'You'can'decide'to' neglect'some'lanes,'specifically'the'prospects,'stale'and'problema1c'ones.'If' you’re'using'Trello'to'keep'track'of'your'prospects,'you'can'add'the'Card%Aging' PowergUp'(free)'to'visualize'which'prospects'are'being'neglected.' Unfortunately,'the'Card'Aginggfeature'isn’t'currently'configurable,'so'it'will'take' 184
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a'week'un2l'your'cards'start'showing'signs'of'neglect. • Feed'your'funnel'only'when'you'have'more'capacity.'Overfeeding' your'funnel'is'a'surefire'way'to'start'neglec2ng'it.'When'you'start'neglec2ng' your'prospects,'it'gets'harder'to'keep'momentum. • Respond'to'incoming'requests'on'all'channels,'be'it'a'text,'a' Tinder'message'and'a'Snapchat'snap. • When'actually'doing'work,'focus'on'your'funnel,'not'on'your' Tinder'match'list. The'last'part'is'important,'because'your'funnel'carries'much'more'informa2on' about'your'prospects'than'your'match'list.'It'is'very%hard'to'do'focused'work'in' the'match'list.'It'is'very%easy'to'do'focused'work'in'the'funnel.'Remember,'the' fun'in'funnelling'will'be'available'only'aRer'you'do'the'work. You'will'need'to'make'an'assessment'on'how&much&9me&you’re&willing&to& spend&doing&this.'Doing'catchup'of'new'profiles'should'take'no'more'than'5g10' effec2ve'minutes'every'day,'but'this'will'depend'on'where'you'live'and'how' many'people'are'signing'up.'If'it'takes'more'than'five'minutes,'change'your' search'parameters'to'shrink'the'amount'of'profiles'coming'in. How'much'2me'it'takes'to'run'your'funnel'is'obviously'related'to'the'number' of'prospects'in'your'funnel.'If'it’s'taking'too'long,'stop'adding'new'prospects' un2l'the'2me'spent'is'manageable.' In'the'beginning'you’ll'need'to'allocate'2me'to'actually'meet'the'girls.'I'suggest' you'start'out'by'doing'heavy'da2ng,'but'you’ll'see'alterna2ves'to'this' presented.'Most'people'don’t'have'a'lot'of'da2ng'experience'and'just'upping' the'frequency'you'connect'to'new'people'will'make'you'super'social.'But'it' takes'2me.'If'you'are'able'to'do'mul2ple'dates'a'day,'go'for'it. It'is'important'to'have'a'balanced'view'on'this,'because'it'is'easy'to'come'in'a' situa2on'where'you'focus'too'much'on'one'of'the'lanes'while'neglec2ng'the' others.
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It'is'also'2me'to'seriously'consider'to'work&in&groups.'Discuss'the'contents'of' the'book'with'your'buddies,'and'see'if'it'resonates'with'them.'If'it'does,'set'up' weekly'meets'where'you'discuss'the'different'concepts'to'make'sure'you'all' understand'them.'Share'chat'logs'and'experiences'from'mee2ng'up.'It'is' important'that'you'try'to'focus'on'the'same%material.'I’m'not'saying'that'you' should'limit'yourself'to'the'contents'of'this'book,'on'the'contrary;'all'good' informa2on'is'good.'It'is,'however,'a'good'idea'that'you'decide'on'a'shared' scope'and'curriculum.'Again,'if'you’re'pulling'in'the'same'direc2on'your' chances'of'succeeding'are'larger.'If'you’re'pulling'in'different'direc2ons'it'is' oRen'beXer'to'work'alone'because'you'avoid'having'your'focus'constantly' shiRed.
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Working&with&the&funnel
Now'that'you've'set'up'a'funnel,'how'do'you'work'it? I'personally'work'in'this'order: • • • • • •
Start'off'by'making'sure'you'have'1me%to%meet%people.'Do'this'by' consul2ng'your'calendar'of'choice. Work'your'loose'mee2ngglane.'Try'to'shiR'these'to'the'dateglane. Work'your'communica2onglane.'Try'to'shiR'these'to'the'dateglane. Work'your'metglane. Pick'prospects'and'move'them'to'the'communica2on'lane. Provided'you'have'more'2me: ⁃
Work'your'staleglane.
⁃
Work'your'problema2cglane.
⁃
Move'people'from'your'backlog'to'your'prospect'lane.
⁃
Move'relevant'Tinder'matches'to'your'funnel.
Do'I'follow'the'funnel'religiously?'Absolutely'not,'some2mes'I'just'simply' ignore'it'for'weeks.'It'just'lowers'my'yield,'but'if'it'becomes'too'much'of'a' chore,'just'drop'it. When'you'get'more'proficient'with'the'techniques'you'won't'need'it'as'much.' But'in'the'beginning,'it'is'very'helpful'to'bring'some'structure'to'your'game.' But'everyone'is'going'to'get'caught'in'the'rush'of'a'recent'match'and'just'surf' on'the'momentum.'This'is'good'game'once'you'understand'how'the'different' parts'connect.
Troubleshoo9ng&with&the&funnel It'is'also'very'helpful'to'troubleshoot'with'your'funnel. If'one'of'the'lanes'in'the'funnel'becomes'too'full,'consult'the'relevant'lane's' descrip2on'and'techniques'and'try'to'work'structured'with'it.
Funnel&transfer This'is'important'to'understand,'even'if'you'decide'to'never'implement'a' funnelling'system: How'well'you'do'at'one'stage'in'the'funnel'is'a'strong'indicator'of'how'hard' you'can'press'in'the'next. If'you'get'10'matches'in'a'month,'making'them'not'fully'invest'in'the' conversa2on'before'pushing'for'a'meet'is'more'likely'to'be'an'overextension' than'if'you'get'100'matches'a'month. Think'of'it'like'this: Some'guys'are'just'hoXer'than'other.'These'have'an'easier'2me'bedding' women'if'they'show'up'in'the'real'world.'If'you've'swallowed'any'pickup' community'propaganda'that'says'otherwise,'feel'free'to'cling'on'to'that'belief' if'you'want.'But'it'is'the'honest'to'whatever'deity'you'worship'truth.'There'are' guys'that'pull'on'looks'and'the'ability%to%say%yes'alone.'Women'will'do'the' logis2cal'work'for'these'guys.'They'will'chat'them'up.'They'will'even'get' physical'and'lead'them'home'if'necessary. It'is'very'likely'that'hot'guys'are'able'to'produce'beXer'pictures.'This'will' obviously'create'more'matches,'but'it'will'also'create'more%interested'matches.' In'other'words,'you'can'use'your'match'rate'as'an'indicator'of'how'quickly'you' can'push'through'the'different'stages'of'the'interac2on.&The&more&matches& you&get,&the&higher&speed&you&can&operate&each&match&with,&because&they&are& probably&already&more&invested&in&you. Interes2ngly,'you'll'do'so'ins2nc2vely'as'you'get'a'feeling'of'abundance. But,'there'is'a'flipside'to'this'coin.'If'you're'not'the'best'looker'and'you'have'a' hard'2me'taking'good'pictures,'even'with'professional'help,'you'won't'get' many'matches.'You'might'get'10'a'month.'These'matches'are'also'going'to'be' less'interested'in'you,'because'they'were'probably'hesitant'to'swipe'you'right' 188
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in'the'first'place.'Some'might'have'even'done'it'by'mistake.'The&fewer&matches& you&get,&the&more&investment&you&have&to&secure&before&pushing,&because& they're&likely&to&be&less&interested&in&you.& Two'people'can'do'the'exact'same'thing'in'the'exact'same'way'and'have' extremely'different'outcomes. And'it'is'a'harsh'part'of'reality'that'you'might'not'be'that'good'looking.'You' might'not'be'able'to'get'good'pictures.'Your'matches'will'only'be'semig interested,'and'you'might'never'get'to'extreme'velocity'with'women'on'Tinder' (or'anywhere'else'for'that'maXer). The'good'thing'is'that'you'should'be'able'to'dial'back'your'game'to'one'that'is' based'more'in'investment'in'communica2on,'and'get'a'consistent'pullgrate.'I' urge'you'to'also'experiment'with'overextension,'of'course,'as'you'might'be' able'to'exhibit'the'traits'of'abundant'men'even'if'you're'not'one'of'them.''You' might'find'that'the'laXer'requires'ninja'skill'game,'and'that'you'll'be'burning' prospects'leR'and'right.'I'm'not'saying'that'you'can't'do'it,'but'it'might'not'be'a' good'way'to'spend'your'2me. Remember,'that'any'moment'in'2me'when'you're'ac2ng,'your'ability'to' succeed'is'a'compound'of'their'preceeding'impressions'of'you.'This'knowledge' should'be'helpful'when'you'troubleshoot'your'game.' This'is'not'about'demoralizing'you.'It'is'about'the'importance'of'tuning'all'the' stages'of'the'funnel'for'success,'refocusing'on'the'dangers'of'over'gaming'and' understanding'when'game'is'necessary. I'feel'that'it's'also'good'to'say'this,'because'some'of'the'stuff'we'll'be' discussing'later'in'the'book'as'you'get'to'intermediate'game'relies'on'you' having'her'interested'in'you.'
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Progression&model For'this'book,'we'll'describe'a'fairly'simple'progression'model.'It'will'have' plenty'of'examples,'as'most'people'learn'from'example.'However,'all'these' examples'will'be'linked'to'core'concepts'that'saturate'the'interac2ons. Some'of'these'concepts'will'be'familiar'to'people'who'do'tradi2onal'game.' Some'of'them'probably'won't,'however,'as'they'are'fairly'complex'concepts.' Do'not'let'this'deter'you.'If'you'don't'understand'the'core'concepts,'you'can' probably'just'skip'ahead'to'the'examples'and'when'you'get'a'grasp'of'how'the' concept'is'used.'Then,'if'you'need'to,'and'I'recommend'you'do,'return'to'the' descrip2on'of'the'concept. Common'for'most'of'these'concepts'is'that'if'you'feel'that'they'are'either' unnatural'or'overly'coarse,'you're'probably'doing'them'wrong.'So'please'look' at'some'example'applica2ons'before'using'them,'just'to'get'a'feel'for'2ming' and'amount'of'pressure. The'progression'model'will'take'you'from'a'match'(in'the'Tinder'case)'or'a' contact'(in'the'Snapchat'case),'in'other'words'from'the'point'of'ini2al'contact' and'guide'you'through'the'whole'interac2on. Even'with'this'system,'you'will'not'win'every'Tinder'match.'But'I'recommend' you'follow'the'system'un2l'you'understand'why'it'works'and'how'it'works.' Deviate'from'the'system'in'cases'where'you'don't'really'care'too'much'about' the'outcome.'It'has'been'tried'and'tested,'and'it's'basically'what'you're'paying' for,'so'devia2ng'too'far'from'it'in'situa2ons'where'it'maXers'before'you'have' built'your'own'skillset'is'really'throwing'hard'earned'cash'out'the'window. So'far'we’ve'looked'at'your'prospect,'a'virtual'representa2on'of'who'you'are.'It' is'important'to'understand'this.'You’ve'been'able'to'control'all'aspects'of'what' she'knows'about'you. Now,'it’s'2me'to'look'at'the'virtual'interac2on,'but'it’s'important'to'understand' 190
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that'no'maXer'how'much'it'might'mirror'real'life,'this'is's2ll'just'a'projec2on'of' who'you'are.'Un2l'you'actually'meet,'you'can'control'in'detail'all'the' informa2on'she'sees. So'listen.'I'have'absolutely'no'idea'who'you'are.'I've'been'trying'my'best'to' make'this'an'accessible'and'applicable'product.'However,'crea2ng'a'bunch'of' good'looking'pictures'is'one'thing.'It's'going'to'help'you'get'matches.'S2ll,' matches'are'really'just'rows'in'a'database'somewhere,'and'while'they'surely' do'warm'the'soul,'they'do'liXle'to'nothing'to'warm'your'privates. From'geQng'a'Tinder'match,'you'need'to'ini2ate'a'conversa2on'of'some'kind.' Ideally,'this'will'lead'to'a'meet.'This'really'isn't'that'hard;'you'can'preXy'much' script'this'from'beginning'to'end'and'have'someone'agree'to'meet'you'in'a' very'short'while. But'what'when'they'do? I'really'have'no'idea'of'knowing'how'you'll'do'in'a'da2ng'situa2on,'so'we’ve' added'a'sec2on'about'mee2ng'in'real'life'as'well,'including'handling'logis2cs' and'some'escala2on. Tinder'and'Snapchat'complement'each'other'in'some'ways'and'overlap'in' others.'Typically,'you'll'find'that'gaming'on'Tinder'can'be'an'effec2ve'stand' alone'approach,'but'at'2mes,'especially'when'you'need'to'build'trust,'build' investment,'put'people'on'the'back'burner'or'you'just'need'extra'momentum,' using'Snapchat'is'sensible. Also,'a'lot'of'your'contacts'will'have'a'presence'only'on'Snapchat,'because'you' did'your'data'mining'with'people'you'didn't'really'match'with.
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Trans&medium&branching Ideally'you'want'to'progress'from'the'medium'you’re'currently'in'to'having'the' girl'in'your'bed.'Some2mes,'however,'it'can'be'a'good'idea'to'branch'from'one' medium'to'the'other.''Be'aware,'tho,'that'trans'medium'branching'can'be' detrimental'to'momentum.'We’ll'see'why. It’s'important'to'first'dis2nguish'between'making'a'branch'to'another'medium,' and'collec2ng'personal'informa2on'about'another'medium.'You’ll'see'people' in'all'walks'of'game'bragging'about'geQng'a'girl’s'number.'Numbers'aren’t' worthless,'but'most'people'have'no'idea'what'to'do'with'them.'So'if'you'get'a' number'on'Tinder,'fine.'You’ve'increased'her'investment'a'liXle.'There'is'no' reason'to'actually'use'the'number'if'there'is'currently'momentum'in'the' Tinder'conversa2on.'Again;'ideally'meet'using'the'current'medium.' Communica2on'on'mul2ple'media'will'oRen'create'a'dissonance,'and'it'is'not' uncommon'when'doing'so'that'one'conversa2on'goes'well'while'the'other' goes'sour.'There'is'a'tendency'to'compartmentalize'these'things'even'if'we'all' logically'know'that'we’re'talking'to'the'same'person. Taking&someone’s&Facebook&and&adding&them&as&a&friend&is&a&dubious& progression,'and'should'only'be'done'in'emergencies.'The'reason'is'that' Facebook'is'a'“back'burner”'medium;'women'you'fuck'from'Facebook'are' oRen'used'to'be'leR'there'to'simmer'on'weeks'and'months'to'end.'In'other' words,'moving'from'Tinder'to'Facebook'is'a'momentum'killer;'people'are'used' to'not%mee1ng%people'from'Facebook. If'you'know'how'to'work'Facebook,'by'all'means,'do'it.'But'when'you'think' about'it,'all'of'a'sudden'you'have'a'lot'of'things'that'can'go'wrong.'She'can'see' your'wall,'more'pictures,'possibly'your'friends,'etc.'It’s'just'a'lot'harder'to' control'all'these'parameters,'and'given'she’s'already'invested'in'the'small'sliver' of'you'she’s'seen,'shy'away'from'adding'on'Facebook'people'you'haven’t'met. “I’m a little skeptical of adding people on Facebook I don’t know in real life.”
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Tinder&to&phone&number&is&a&liZle&beZer.&You'can'get'her'phone'number' without'giving'out'yours.'This'means'she'cannot'do'a'reverse'search'for'your' full'name'and'start'stalking'you.'This'preXy'much'boils'down'to'you's2ll' controlling'the'informa2on'she'is'receiving. This'means,'tho,'that'you'ask'for'her'number,'but'you'don’t'use'it. “Hey, what’s your number, in case I get delayed tonight.”
Ask'for'it'when'you'already'have'a'meet'lined'up,'and'use'it'only'aRer'you'have' met. If'you'have'good'experiences'giving'out'your'phone'number'to'girls'online,'go' ahead'and'do'it.'The'system'doesn't'dictate'either'way,'but'keep'in'mind'that'it' will'be'easier'to'find'your'personal'informa2on'in'certain'situa2ons. The'good'thing'about'geQng'the'number,'is'that'you'also'get'them'on' Whatsapp.'Here'they'typically'have'another'picture'you'can'check'out,'as'well' as'another'communica2ons'channel'if'they'happen'to'disappear'from'Tinder' (for'whatever'reason). Progression&to&Snapchat&from&Tinder'isn’t'really'as'dubious'as'the'others,'as' Snapchat'is'a'fairly'“in2mate”'form'of'communica2on.'Also,'it’s'not'prone'to' leaving'you'with'dead'conversa2ons,'as'we'saw'earlier. Adding'a'ques2on'about'a'girl’s'Snapchat'can'therefore'be'a'good'way'to' prevent'your'connec2ons'from'dying'out. Another'medium'that'is'suitable'for'this'is'Instagram,'but'that'is'outside'the' current'scope'of'this'book. If'you're'afraid'that'your'Tinder'communica2on'is'becoming'too'friendly'and' the'sexual'spark'is'dying,'you'can'use'the&penis&progression.'It'is'a'high'risk/ high'reward'maneuver,'and'it'is'for'advanced'players'only. 193
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It'goes'a'liXle'something'like'this: T: What's your Snapchat name? Her: Blablabla. T: Cool. Let me just get it up. Her: ?! T: Promise me you won't open the first picture! It's a nude.
Add'her'on'Snaphat'and'send'her'a'picture'of'you'with'a'raging'erec2on.'Add'a' descrip2ve'text'to'the'image;'something'like'"You'have'no'self'control". Her: What? T: Promise! It's a nude picture of me with a raging hard on. Her: Ok. T: You can open the second one.
Then'you'take'a'picture'out'the'window'and'add'a'nice'message,'like,'"It's' sunny!" Sit'back'and'watch'her'fail.'You'should'have'a'preXy'easy'2me'geQng'her'to' invest'while'she's'wai2ng'for'her'inevitable'failure'to'control'herself.'Typical' result'is'that'they'act'a'liXle'shocked,'but'that's'OK.'You'told'them'what'was' going'to'happen.'Then'comes'a'phase'of'acceptance'and'horniness.'Typically' accompanied'by'an'urge'to'return'the'favor'and/or'meet'up. Does'this'really'work?'What'it'does'is'basically'sexualize'a'dying'conversa2on' with'a'fairly'decent'revival'rate.'However,'it'is'really'easy'to'burn'good'leads' using'this'technique,'so'use'it'sparingly.'But'yes,'I've'had'it'work'and'work'well,' numerous'2mes. See'an'example'of'the'penis'progression'used'in'the'report'on'Zoe.
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Mee9ng&in&real&life This'is'where'you’re'hoping'to'get'to;'mee2ng'in'real'life.'A'lot'of'things'could' go'wrong,'but'at'least'you'have'her'thinking'you’re'good'enough'“on'paper”'to' go'through'the'trouble'of'mee2ng. The'previous'set'of'hurdles'all'of'a'sudden'became'a'new'set'of'hurdles,'and' because'I'want'this'to'be'an'endgtogend'solu2on,'I’ll'try'to'make'sure'you'do' well,'even'in'real'life. It'is,'however,'somewhat'out'of'the'scope'of'this'book'to'make'a'fully'fletched' “da2ng'manual”,'but'a'lot'of'the'techniques'that'have'been'described'actually' translate'fairly'well,'so'keep'that'in'mind'when'you'apply'them'on'your'mobile' phone. Also,'allow'me'to'stress'that'there'are'no'correct'answers,'and'generic'advise' will'never'trump'your'own'experience.'I'can'simply'provide'some'input'and' pointers'for'you'to'consider'and,'if'it'makes'sense,'par2ally'or'fully'adopt.
Closing&the&gap&between&prospect&and&product The'first'thing'you'need'to'consider'is'closing'the'gap'between'prospect'and' product.'She’s'made'a'picture'of'you'in'her'mind,'but'it'is'a'result'of' informa2on'that'you’ve'been'carefully'filtering'and'feeding'her.' How'big'is'the'gap'between'this'cherry'picked'version'of'reality'and'real'life?' Are'you'going'to'be'able'to'meet'her'without'her'being'let'down'and'feel' cheated? This'is'a'liXle'similar'to'shopping'for'a'house'(or,'in'the'one'night'stand'analogy,' a'hotel).'You'look'at'pictures'of'the'house'online,'you'see'how'many'square' feet'it'is,'what'street'it'is'on.'You'read'a'descrip2on'of'when'to'expect'the'sun' to'rise,'and'how'you'can'enjoy'it'from'your'balcony. When'you'go'see'a'house'the'first'2me,'you’ll'find'that'it'oRen'doesn’t'match' 195
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the'prospect'at'all.'All'the'interior'photos'are'shot'with'a'wide'angle'lens' crea2ng'the'illusion'of'spacious'environments.'In'real'life'it'can'be'cramped.' Ok,'so'the'sun'shows'up'as'adver2sed,'but'it'seems'to'always'be'accompanied' by'a'megaton'freight'train'running'through'your'part'of'town'15'feet'from'your' bedroom'window. The'more'houses'you'see,'the'more'of'these'discrepancies'you'will'no2ce.' You’ll'learn'to'get'an'eye'for'them,'tho.'And'the'fact'that'these'exist,'doesn’t' mean'that'people'will'stop'doing'shopping'for'houses. Consider'for'a'second'that'the'girl'is'out'looking'for'some'ac2on'and'the' reason'why'she’s'mee2ng'you'isn’t'necessarily'because'she’s'super'aXracted'to' you,'but'because'she’s'a'liXle'bit'horny'and'the'prospect'you'showed'her'is' easy'to'ra2onalize'mee2ng'up'with.' Shouldn’t'you'help'her'out? Absolutely.'This'means'that'if'you’ve'polarized'hard'in'your'profile'when'talking' to'this'girl'online,'back'this'look'up.'I’ve'made'mistakes'when'it'comes'to'this'in' the'past,'and'it'wasn’t'preXy.'I'got'the'phone'number'of'a'sober'waitress'at'a' rock'concert,'wearing'my'leather'jacket.'I'figured'I’d'impress'her'with'my' versa2lity'the'next'day,'and'showed'up'with'a'shirt,'vest'and'sports'jacket.' She’d'been'prospected'going'in'a'date'with'a'rocker,'she'got,'well,'something% else.'It’s'an'amateur'mistake,'really,'and'both'ouuits'are'good'on'me.'It’s'just'a' maXer'of'her'geQng'a'really'good'steak'when'she'ordered'sushi.'It’s'not'what' she'had'built'up'a'hankering'for.'It’s'not'even'a'ques2on'of'one'being'beXer' than'the'other,'it'is'a'ques2on'of'geNng%what%you%expect. So'obviously,'part'of'closing'the'gap'is'to'actually'try'to'resemble'the'prospect,' both'in'how'you'dress'and'how'you'act.'I’m'not'asking'you'to'“put'on'an'act”,' but'most'people'have'more'personality'than'can'be'shown'in'a'1g2'hour'date.' Pick'the'parts'of'your'personality'that'match'your'online'prospect. Making'an'effort'to'close'this'gap'is'hugely'important.'If'you'have'pictures'that' 196
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are'too'good,'it'will'mean'that'you’ll'spend'a'lot'of'2me'on'dates'that'go' nowhere.' Remember'that'expecta2ons'drive'percep2on.'This'concept'will'help'you'out.' If'you're'in'the'ballpark'of'what'she'expected'from'your'pictures,'she'll'usually' give'you'the'benefit'of'the'doubt.'Too'far'removed'and'the'meet'will'be'a' catastrophe. In'my'case,'using'this'as'my'calling'card,'I'make'sure'to'wear'a'black'jacket'and' preferably'blackish/grey'pants.'If'I'care'about'the'prospect,'I'will'also'shave'in'a' similar'way'to'on'the'photo.'It'is'not'only'because'she’ll'have'an'easier'2me' recognising'me'when'we'meed'up,'but'all'of'these'factors'help'close'the'gap' between'prospect'and'product.'You’ll'never'look'exactly'like'you'do'in'the' pictures'in'real'life.'This'is'OK;'everybody'knows'it.'But'the'more'of'these'pegs' you'knock'down,'the'more'you'will'match'her'expecta2ons,'and'the'more'her' already'exis2ng'investment'will'help'you'out. There'are'a'number'of'prepara2ons'you'can'make'before'mee2ng'someone. Your'appearance'will'obviously'be'of'huge'importance. As'I'men2oned'before,'keep'in'mind'how'you’ve'branded'yourself,'and'be'a' physical'extension'of'what'you’ve'been'prospec2ng.'Wear'some'of'the'same' clothes,'give'off'the'same'vibe.'This'is'important.' I'won't'write'much'about'grooming.'Just'show'up'as'a'clean,'shaven,'brilliantly' version'of'yourself. You'should'consider'applying'makeup'if'needed.'Make'sure'it'is'not'visible' unless'it’s'a'specific'look'you’re'going'for.'I'use'makeup'for'most'of'my'dates,'as' I'have'a'skin'problem'and'tend'to'look'very'red'without'it. I'write'about'makeup'in'the'photography'sec2on.
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“Showing&up&aZrac9ve”'is'a'term'I'think'was'coined'in'the'days'by'pickup' legend'Ross'Jeffries.'You'might'want'to'look'at'his'material'on'this.'Being'able' to'“show'up'aXrac2ve”'is'an'interes2ng'topic'on'its'own,'and'I'can'only'scratch' the'surface'of'it'in'this'book'and'give'some'recommenda2ons'as'to'what' material'you'should'be'checking'out'to'get'the'informa2on. To'“show'up'aXrac2ve”'is'similar'to'geQng'the'“Xgfactor”'or'“it”.'It'is'very'hard' to'describe'exactly'what'this'intangible'effect'really'is,'but'fortunately'there'are' at'this'point'a'slew'of'exercises'you'can'do'to'obtain'it.'A'lot'of'it'has'to'do'with' being%in%the%body%instead%of%in%the%head. These'are'my'personal'favorites: • TRE'(Trauma'Release'Exercise)'by'David'Berceli.'Just'learn'this' technique'and'use'it'liberally.'It'could'be'life'changing'in'many'ways. • Code'of'the'Natural'by'Rob'Brinded.'A'set'of'stretching'exercises' that'can'be'used'prior'to'going'out.'These'loosen'up'the'body'in'the'right' places'and'does'something'to'your'subconscious'at'the'same'2me,'making'you' mellow'and'laid'back.'I'currently'recommend'star2ng'with'his'original'PDF' product. • Qi'Gong. • Mindfulness. If'you'find'that'your'dates'are'not'going'very'well'when'you'actually'meet' people,'look'into'any'and'all'of'these.
Research You'can'do'research'on'your'dates'before'you'meet'up.'This'is'obviously'really' easy'when'you'meet'people'from'Tinder'and'have'mutual'friends.'Also,'people' who'disclose'their'Snapchat'address'oRen'use'this'as'a'TwiXer'handle,'etc,'so' searching'for'this'in'conjunc2on'with'the'first'name'oRen'yields'a'lot'of' informa2on'through'Google.'This'is'also'known'as'cyberstalking.'I'recommend' you'don't'spend'much'or'any'2me'doing'this. 198
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The'reason'is'simple:'As'you'get'proficient'at'da2ng,'knowing'as'liXle'as' possible'about'people'can'be'a'benefit.'You'don’t'have'to'remember'a'bunch' of'trivia'about'them,'and'let’s'be'honest,'finding'out'these'things'about'people' facegtogface'is'usually'much'more'fun'than'digging'out'informa2on'about' people'in'advance. In'a'way'you'could'say'that'in'this'light,'ignorance'about'someone'is'power.' Most'people'will'happily'tell'you'about'themselves'and'their'hobbies'if'you’re' really'interested,'and'this'could'not'only'be'fun'and'entertaining'but'obviously' educa2onal.'Having'people'tell'these'things'about'themselves'will'also' increase'their'investment'in'you.
The&dates&and&why&da9ng&is&awesome Before'I'started'with'Tinder,'I'had'no'idea'how'much'I'love'going'on'dates.' Tradi2onally,'I’ve'been'“pulling”'from'nightclubs,'streets'and'bars'the'last' couple'of'years.'While'this'can'be'an'exhilara2ng'experience,'it'also'severely' limits'your'pool.'Also,'you'need'to'actually'have'a'bit'of'game. There'are'so'many'reasons'why'da2ng'is'awesome,'I'want'to'warm'you'up'to' it. Coming'from'a'tradi2onal'night'game'scenario,'here'are'a'bunch'of'things'you' might'be'used'to'worrying'about: AMOGs'(Alpha'Male'of'Group).'These'people'are'likely'to'go'into'baXle'with' you'over'a'girl'you'fancy'when'you’re'out'on'the'town.'They'are'muscular,' loud,'filled'with'testosterone'and'will'stop'at'nothing'to'see'you'fail'if'it'means' they'get'the'girl. Obstacles.'The'ugly'girlfriend'who'gets'too'drunk'and'needs'help'geQng'home' safe,'or'the'one'that'whispers'in'your'loved'one’s'ear'that'“Look,'he'wears' Armani'Exchange”. 199
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Loud&noise.'To'talk'over'120dB'of'some'crappy'hiphop'ar2st'cackling'about' something'totally'irrelevant'to'all'our'lives'takes'a'toll'on'your'physique.'It'is' just'harder'to'get'and'maintain'people’s'aXen2on'at'a'loud'club. You'and'your'wingmen'are'oRen'in'sync'about'who'“owns'the'set”'and'who' has'“dibs”'on'a'girl.'But'some2mes'you'don’t.'Figh9ng&with&your&wingmen'is' not'only'childish'behavior,'but'it'is'very'hard'to'actually'communicate'these' things'in'real'2me.' When'tension'starts'to'build,'you'eject.'Or'she'ejects.'You'really'like'each' other,'but'the'idea'that'you'might'be'going'home'together'might'seem' overwhelming.'So'you'sabotage,'and'don’t.' People's2ll'struggle'with'opening.'Faced'with'all'the'problems'above,'and'add' to'that'general'shyness,'a'lot'of'people'are'horny'as'hell'but'go'out'without' really'talking'to'new'people. Part'of'the'reason'is'that'a'lot'of'the'girls&are&overly&drunk,'and'the'only'real' way'to'communicate'with'them'is'to'jump'around'like'a'monkey'in'heat'and' get'physical.'And'let’s'face'it,'drunk'girls'really'just'aren’t'that'charming. To'accomplish'this,'you&o_en&get&overly&drunk'or'(even'worse)'not'drunk' enough.'When'you'miss'this'mark,'it’s'easy'to'be'leR'on'the'outside'of' conversa2ons'or'become'incredibly'offgpuQng'when'in'them. None&of&these'apply'to'a'da2ng'situa2on,'which'means'you'should&embrace&it& as&soon&as&possible.'The'date'situa2on'leaves'you'alone'with'a'girl'for'an' extended'2me'in'a'venue'of'your'choice,'a'place'where'you'can'speak' comfortably'with'nobody'bothering'you.'Most'people'can'do'so'comfortably' without'any'level'of'intoxica2on.'You'don't'need'to'have'kung'fu'verbal'skills.' You'don't'need'to'do'mar2al'arts'physical'escala2on. Most'of'the'2me'you'just'need'to'show'up'and'show'her'you're'not'a'creepy'or' 200
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needy.'That'you'are'the'guy'in'the'pictures.'ORen2mes'the'rest'takes'care'of' itself.
What&she'll&be&looking&for And'that'is'oRen'what'she'll'be'looking'for.'If'you'look'at'it'from'her' perspec2ve,'she'will'be'spending'more'2me'looking'for'reasons'why'you're'the' wrong'guy'than'you're'the'right.'This'translates'roughly'to:'Focus'on'not' making'mistakes. If'you'come'off'as'try'hard,'chances'are'you'll'kill'whatever'aXrac2on'is'there.' That's'not'to'say'that'you'won't'be'crea2ng'a'spark'between'you'and'being' flirta2ous.'If'you'have'done'any'sexual'seeding,'the'tension'will'already'be' there'from'the'get'go.
The&many&formats&of&dates I’m'not'going'to'dictate'the'purpose'of'the'dates,'as'these'might'vary'from' person'to'person.'I'do'want'to'shed'light'on'some'typical'purposes,'however. A'really'good'reason'for'going'on'a'quick'date'is'to'check'to'see'if'there'are'any' obvious'hurdles.'People'won't'necessarily'need'to'do'a'full'background'check' and'see'your'dental'records'to'go'to'bed'with'you.'A'lot'of'the'2me,'just'doing' a'quick'lunch'date'with'a'dura2on'of'30'minutes'or'less'will'be'sufficient'to' make'people'ready'to'push'the'connec2on'forward. If'you'think'about'it,'doing'these'short'dates'is'a'really'good'idea;'you'can'get' mul2ple'of'them'done'in'a'day,'you'get'a'limited'window'where'you'can'fuck' up'and'the'momentum'builds'quite'tremendously.'She'll'get'an'impression'of' you'on'a'superficial'level'and'you'get'to'see'if'she's'someone'you'want'to' spend'2me'with/on/in. I'end'up'doing'this'in'one'of'two'ways'personally.'I'either'set'up'a'first'mee2ng' with'the'inten2on'of'showing'her'I'm'not'a'total'freak'and'checking'out'if'I'find' her'interes2ng'at'all.'These'mee2ngs'are'typically'in'cafés,'and'last'anything' from'30'minutes'to'an'hour'and'a'half.''If'you're'new'at'da2ng,'I'suggest'you' 201
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look'up'what'a'false%1me%constraint'is'and'do'the'opposite,'namely'cut'it'short' even'if'you'have'nothing'beXer'to'do.'The'reason'is'that'it'gives'you'an' opportunity'to'leave'on'a'high'and'it'minimizes'the'2me'window'in'which'you' can'screw'it'up. Some2mes'there'is'a'vibe'there'that'makes'the'date'into'a'sexual'mee2ng'on' its'own,'without'any'conscious'pushing'on'my'part.'I've'goXen'up'from'my' chair'ready'to'end'many'dates'where'girls'just'walk'in'my'same'direc2on'aRer' we'leave'the'venue,'and'before'we'know'it,'we're'back'at'my'place.'Don't'let' this'surprise'you. The'alterna2ve'to'this'is'to'actually'go'for'an'extrac2on'back'to'her'place'or' your'place.'In'these'cases'it'helps'being'a'liXle'physical.'It'is'OK'to'be'physical' in'a'date'situa2on,'even'at'a'café.'Just'make'sure'you'don't'overdo'it.'If'you're' at'third'base'at'a'Starbucks'and'you'suggest'you'go'back'to'your'place,'chances' are'she'is'going'to'want'to'not'appear'sluXy,'and'decline. There's'a'lot'of'decent'material'on'this'online.'Search'terms'include'"kino' escala2on"'and'"escala2on'ladder".'I'personally'usually'stop'at'pecks'on'the' cheek'when'I'm'in'a'venue'to'avoid'her'feeling'promiscuous,'but'some2mes,'if' I'meet'and'there'is'beer'involved,'I'might'go'for'the'makeout. Keep'in'mind'that'making'out'might'turn'tension'into'momentum,'but'if'you' cannot'harness'the'momentum,'you're'basically'just'releasing'tension'without' having'a'good'outlet'for'it.' Which'leads'us'to'random'hookups,'which'can'be'anything'from'mee2ng' someone'out'at'a'club'at'night'to'them'simply'booty'calling'you.'Blind.'Without' mee2ng'you'first.'It'happens,'and'we'shouldn't'judge.' As'we'discussed'in'making'it'easy,'just'do'that.'Don't'pass'up'on'a'good'offer,' you'll'regret'it.' Mee2ng'girls'in'clubs'at'night'isn't'necessarily'the'best'idea,'as'you'll'all'of'a' 202
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sudden'have'thrown'all'the'benefits'of'a'controlled'date'environment'out'the' window.'Other'people'and'the'environment'will'be'figh2ng'for'her'aXen2on.' She'will'no'doubt'have'a'bunch'of'girlfriends'there,'all'of'which'are'likely'to' probe'you'for'faults.'I'am'not'saying'that'you'shouldn't'do'it,'but'be'realis2c' about'it.'If'you'meet'people'in'this'kind'of'venue,'you'might'have'to'put'on' your'game'face'and'actually'do'some'fieldwork. A'benefit'might'be'that'other'guys'have'pumped'her'emo2onal'state'and'made' her'horny,'and'when'you'show'up'as'a'semigknown'face,'it's'easy'to'ra2onalize' why'she'comes'home'with'you.'She'"knows"'you'from'before,'so'you're'safe.
Logis9cs To'be'honest,'logis2cs'might'be'more'than'half'of'the'game.'I'could'tell'you' that'it'doesn’t'maXer'that'you'live'in'a'cave'in'the'forest,'but'I’d'be'lying'to' you.'I'could'tell'you'that'it'really'doesn’t'maXer'if'your'bedroom'looks'like'a' total'dump,'but'it'would'also'be'untrue'(although'not'necessarily'for'the' reasons'you'expect). Females'seem'to'be'able'to'have'sex'at'any'2me'of'day,'so'that's'not'what'you' need'to'worry'about.'If'you'take'them'out'on'a'weeknight,'make'sure'you' meet'early'enough'so'you'have'2me'to'bring'them'home'or'go'to'their'place.' From'first'meets,'I've'brought'women'home'any2me'from'early'aRernoon'to' late'at'night.'My'personal'preference'is'to'set'something'up'at'around'8PM,' then'be'a'liXle'late'(leQng'her'know,'of'course),'and'be'done'and'ready'for' extrac2on'by'9:30PM.'This'is'not'a'big'deal'for'me,'and'I'try'not'to'make'this' part'of'a'rou2ne,'because'it'is'important'to'be'flexible'in'this'regard.'If'she'can' meet'me'at'4PM,'I'm'there. When'you'pick'a'place,'try'to'pick'somewhere'close%to%you%or%close%to%her.'I' oRen'try'to'pick'a'nice'bistro'just'down'the'street'for'me,'which'doubles'as'a' pub'and'café.'The'reasons'are'many: • •
I'm'lazy. Picking'a'place'closer'to'me'makes'her'travel.'This'increases'investment' 203
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•
on'her'part. Going'to'a'place'that's'new'to'her'gives'you'an'emo2onal'upper'hand.' You're'in'a'well'known,'safe'and'explored'habitat.
There's'obviously'nothing'wrong'with'taking'her'to'a'park'or'for'a'stroll,' whatever'strikes'your'fancy.'But'for'obvious'reasons,'it'is'a'good'idea'to'end'up' close'to'one'of'you,'so'in'case'things'start'hea2ng'up,'you'won't'have'to'walk' for'45'minutes'or'stand'in'line'wai2ng'for'a'taxi.
Extrac9on&rou9nes
ORen'it'is'enough'to'do'a'statement'of'intent'and'live'by'the'rules'of'ask'and' you'shall'receive.'If'you'find'that'this'fails'you,'a'number'of'factors'might'be'in' play.'Maybe'she's'shy,'maybe'it'makes'her'feel'sluXy. I'some2mes'use'a'couple'of'rou2nes'to'get'her'back'to'my'place.'One'of'them' is'fairly'simple,'and'involves'something'along'the'lines'of: "Let's'move'on'aRer'this'drink,'there's'a'cool'place'just'up'the'street." "Ok." Then'you'walk'past'your'apartment. "I'just'need'to'fetch'something,'be'right'back.'Come'on'up'for'a'couple'of' seconds'if'you'want." This'will'give'her'the'opportunity'to'join'you'with'a'perfect'excuse'to'do'so.'If' she'says'no,'just'walk'up'and'wait'a'couple'of'minutes,'then'come'back'down.' If'you'then'move'on'to'a'separate'place,'you'can'suggest'going'back'to'your' place'aRer'a'drink.'Now'that'she'knows'where'it'is,'it'will'feel'safer.'Unless,'of' course,'you'live'in'a'crack'house. If'she'agrees'to'come'up,'just'excuse'yourself'and'move'towards'your'room,'or' something.'On'the'way'there,'just'tell'her'you'don't'want'to'be'impolite'and' pour'her'a'glass'of'wine'if'that's'what'she'was'drinking'before. This'might'seem'a'liXle'devious,'but'it's'all'about'knocking'down'hurdles'so'she' feels'safe'enough'to'do'what'she'wants'to'do.
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Becoming&"beZer"&means&shorter&9me&in&the&pipeline Improving'your'game'is'a'simple'maXer'of'being'able'to'beXer'assess'at'which' speed'you'can'extend.'This'means'that'all'communica2on'and'all'conversa2ons' should'play'out'quicker. It'also'means'that'you’ve'heightened'your'tension'threshold.'This'should'allow' you'to'work'with'hoXer'girls'than'previously,'as'one'of'the'main'reasons'guys' fumble'with'girls'they'find'hot'is'that'the'tension'becomes'unbearable. Also,'as'you'keep'adjus2ng'your'funnel,'all'steps'should'improve.'This'means' more'prospects,'beXer'conversion'from'prospect'to'date,'beXer'conversion' rate'from'date'to'lay.' This'will'lead'to'abundance.'Not'abundance'mentality,'but'true'abundance.' This'is'a'highly'aXrac2ve'trait'in'men,'and'is,'contrary'to'popular'belief,'very' hard'to'actually'learn.'You'need'to'experience'abundance'to'get'a'feel'for'it,' you'can’t'fake'it.'This'is'actually'the'only'way'to'really'learn'this.
Beginner&game I'have'no'idea'how'well'versed'you'are'in'the'da2ng'world,'so'I’ll'assume'you' are'a'total'newbie.'The'beginner'sec2on'is'a'safe,'rela2vely'high'yield'method' that,'if'it'doesn’t'get'you'immediately'laid,'will'stack'up'your'experience. Also,'it's'a'good'idea'to'structure'your'beginner'game'to'make'it'easy'to'find' flaws'in'it.'In'other'words,'s2ck'to'the'funnel,'s2ck'to'the'progression'model,' because'it'will'make'it'simpler'to'pinpoint'what'you're'doing'wrong.'Do'not,' however,'try'to'use'all'the'techniques'and'concepts'at'the'same'2me.'Pick'a' couple'of'them'at'a'2me'and'apply'liberally. When'you'understand'in'detail'what'a'part'of'the'progression'model'is'meant' to'achieve,'you'll'develop'an'intui2on'for'how'to'achieve'it'through'other' means,'and'you'can'then'decide'on'which'parts'to'simply'skip,'because'you're' basically'managing'to'do'controlled'extensions. When'discussing'beginner'game,'consider'this'sort'of'a'blueprint'that'you'can' start'out'with,'which'will'be'tweaked'over'2me'to'suit'your'own'personal'style' and'desires,'but'also'to'implement'more'advanced'concepts. First'of'all,'keep'the'list'of'poten2al'profiles'empty,'meaning'you'spend'the' 2me'to'leR'or'right'swipe'all%of%the%available%profiles.'Go'in'oRen'and'make' sure'they'are'gone.'I'suggest'you'adopt'The'Right'Way(tm),'simply'because'you' can'get'a'lot'of'experience'from'girls'you'match'with'that'you're'not' necessarily'super'interested'in.'Focus'on'just'geQng'volume. Then,'work'the'funnel'for'what'it's'worth.'Use'it'to'troubleshoot'all'the'parts'of' it,'so'you'know'where'to'put'in'work'and'you'know'what'kind'of'work'to'put' in. Be'in'a'state'of'constant'tweaking.'Tweak'and'test'your'pictures,'take'more,'get' more'matches.'Try'different'approaches,'and'do'so'structured.'Decide'for' yourself'that'you'll'try'a'new'opener'ten'2mes.'Decide'that'you'll'overextend' controlled'with'ten'prospects'to'see'what'happens.'Get'volume,'get'exposure,' 206
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get'experience.'And'constantly'adjust'the'different'stages'of'your'funnel,' making'note'of'what'actually'works'best. Go'on'dates'in'venues.'When'these'dates'start'geQng'2ght'and'end'up'with' you'going'back'to'your'or'her'place,'move'on'to'the'Intermediate'game' sec2on.'Un2l'then,'s2ck'to'da2ng'for'30'minutes'to'an'hour,'or'however'long' feels'natural.'And'use'the'sexualizing'an'interac2on'technique'aRer'the'meet,' no'maXer'how'badly'it'went.'It'will'teach'you'to'overcome'objec2ons.' If'at'all'possible,'try'to'talk'about'something'during'the'first'date'that'gives'you' a'reason'to'meet'up'again,'refer'to'Future'Adventure'Projec2on.'I'met'with'this' really'cute'20'year'old,'and'I'talked'about'the'movie'The'Graduate'(1967),'I' think'because'the'place'we'were'at'had'the'soundtrack'come'on.'I'told'her'that' we'needed'to'see'that'movie'the'next'2me'we'met. A'week'later'she'was'watching'the'movie'on'my'arm'in'my'bed. Make'sure'you'have'made'your'statement'of'intent'before'you'meet'the'next' 2me.'It'should'come'as'no'surprise'to'her'that'you'have'sexual'inten2ons.'If' she'is'reluctant'to'meet'you,'steal'the'screening'frame.'If'you've'been' overextending,'let%her%pace%you.'Listen'to'her,'because'she'will'probably'tell' you'fairly'bluntly'what'you're'doing'wrong.'If'you'find'it's'worth'your'2me'and' effort,'adjust'to'her'pace'and'meet'up'again.'Just'make'sure'your'inten2on'is' clear'and'you'know'when'you're'being'taken'advantage'of. You'should'keep'da2ng'the'same'girl'as'long'as'you’re'enjoying'yourself.' However,'you'need'to'keep'in'mind'that'you'might'be'taken'for'a'ride,'so'keep' your'eyes'open'to'make'sure'you’re'not'overinves2ng'in'a'bad'prospect. If'you'find'that'you'have,'you'need'to'do'a'hard'screen.'The'community'will' shout'“next”,'but'“nex2ng”'is'oRen'a'liXle'premature'and'childish.'What'I' recommend'is'seQng'the'stage'for'one'of'two'things'to'happen. First,'you'could'express'your'concern.'“This'isn’t'working'for'me”'is'a'good'way' 207
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to'do'this.'She’ll'be'sucked'into'this'open'loop,'and'allow'you'to'explain'that' you'need'the'rela2onship'or'whatever'you'choose'to'call'it'to'go'somewhere'it' doesn’t'currently'seem'to'be'going. Keep'in'mind'that'chances'are'things'have'become'stale'because'you'currently' suck'at'this.'It’s'very'seldom'her'fault'alone.'So'get'back'on'track,'rebalance' your'respec2ve'expecta2ons'and'keep'pushing'forward'if'it'makes'sense.'If'it' doesn’t,'friend'zone'her.'It'drives'women'crazy'to'be'friend'zoned'from'a' roman2c'rela2onship'and'chances'are'she’ll'get'drunk'and'call'you'over'the' next'three'weeks.'This'is'a'good'2me'to'bang'it'out'of'your'respec2ve'systems,' as'it’s'probably'what'she’s'looking'for'also. If'this'fails,'it'is'2me'to'cut'your'losses,'screen'her'out'and'move'on. This'is'beginner'game.
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Intermediate&game When'you've'bedded'a'reasonable'amount'of'women,'say'5g10,'whenever'you' feel'ready,'it's'2me'to'take'off'the'training'wheels.'You'will'no'doubt'have' deviated'from'all'scripts,'concepts'and'techniques'presented'herein'by'then,' and'there's'nothing'wrong'with'that.'It's'also'OK'to'return'to'them'and'look'at' them'for'inspira2on'every'once'in'a'while;'we'all'need'occasional'tunegups. At'its'core,'however,'becoming'beXer'when'you're'already'good'is'about' swapping'out'my'experiences'and'2ps'with'your'own.'Do'you'need'a'funnel'or' is'it'a'hassle?'Do'you'ins2nc2vely'know'what'you're'doing'wrong? Perhaps'you'have'a'beXer'system'for'managing'your'live'contacts.'Some' people'prefer'just'blocking'contacts'and'just'bumping'interes2ng'contacts'to' the'top'when'they'feel'like'it. At'this'stage'you'probably'also'have'a'feel'for'what'kind'of'dates'you'prefer' going'on'and'how'hard'you'can'push'for'a'meet.'This'is'a'good'2me'to'go'on'a' quest'to'constantly'overextend'to'push'for'mee2ngs'quicker'and'with'less% effort.'You’ll'be'able'to'calibrate'your'speed'by'looking'at'her'profile'text'and' her'pictures.'You’ll'know'how'to'handle'it'when'she'ini2ates'the'conversa2on. At'this'point'your'pictures'should'be'really'good,'you'should'have'a'lot'of' matches'that'you'can'burn'if'you'want.'You'should'also'be'geQng'a'feeling'for' what'girls'want'when'you'meet'up,'so'it's'easier'to'bring'them'straight'home'if' logis2cs'permit. When'you'get'to'this'level,'you'probably'have'a'huge'subset'of'the'techniques' down.'I'recommend'you'skim'them'again'and'dip'into'the'sec2ons'that'are' unclear'or'the'ones'that'look'interes2ng. It'is'important'that'you'understand'that'the'9ghtness&of&your&early&game&is& going&to&have&a&huge&impact&on&what&you&can&get&away&with&later.'If'you'have' really'good'pictures,'you'can'push'for'a'meet'with'less'investment.'If'you'do' well'in'a'date'situa2on,'you'can'extract'her'back'to'your'place'quicker. 209
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Things'that'were'an'overextension'with'worse'pictures'could'easily'be'going'a' bit'slow'with'beXer'ones.'At'this'point'you'should'be'beXer'at'seeing%windows% of%opportunity,%both%online%and%in%real%life.
Example:&Martha&(21)
No'profile'text,'15'miles'away. T: Finally! A Match with Purpose(tm) M: Hehe you haven't have many of those?:p T: Most of them seem quite meaningless. You're quite a bit away, where are you? M: Yes it's often like that in places like this :p A little outside the city A :) what about you ? T: I am in Wellknown Street in City A, of course. Are you in here a lot? M: Of course? Favorite place? :P yes, almost every day :) T: I just live here. That's good to hear. T: I am a little skeptical of chatting for hours on end with people I don't know on my cellphone, let's meet for a cup of beer an afternoon. M: Ok :) Nice place to live :) I don't know if it's good, it's a long way :p yes, perhaps that's an idea, I'm a little skeptical of meeting people I don't know :p T: That's why we're on Tinder. You never get to know anyone by just sending each other parts of the alphabet. M: Hehe true true :p T: There's a nice place just down the street which serves outdoors, Place A. Unless you have another favorite place. M: No I don't :) T: OK :) When is a good time? M: Hum, I'm uncertain:p Some time next week.. M: Let's figure out a little later? I need to see when I have my shifts at work :) T: Cool. I'm meeting a buddy at place B in ten minutes, we'll talk next week. :) You're cute. M: Yes, let's :) thank you!:)
Ok,'so'a'simple'of'breakdown'of'the'interac2on.'I'open'with'something'a'liXle' off'beat'and'sort'of'an'open'loop,'and'switch'directly'to'working'logis2cs.'Then' I'move'to'set'up'the'meet'by's2gma2za2on,'and'crush'the'token'resistance' with'common'sense.'I'suggest'a'place,'and'when'she'says'she'doesn't'have' another'favorite,'I'do'some'crea2ve'misinterpreta2on'to'assume'that'she's' agreeing'to'the'meet. 210
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And'that's'it.'I'm'saving'this'example'for'the'intermediate'sec2on,'because'the' reason'I'can'move'this'quickly'is'highly'dependent'on'the'quality'of'my' pictures.'True,'this'is'a'loose'mee2ng,'but'the'real'meets'look'preXy'much'the' same'and'I'added'this'example'because'of'the'resistance'and'the'crea2ve' misinterpreta2on.
Example:&Penny&(31) 3'miles'away.'Profile'text:
Swipe'leR'if'u'just'want'to'get'laid'and/or'your'profile'pic'is'a'phoneging mirrorgsansgshirtgstraightgabs'selfie.'Swipe'right'if'you'wanna'meet'cool'new' people,'enjoy'life'and'can'have'a'full'conversa2on'using'quotes'from'step' brothers,'wedding'crashers,'meet'the'parents'etc. Tuesday'night. T: You’re better than most people. P: At what? T: Most things. P: I’ll take that as a compliment, but considering you’re a stranger from the internet, it’s also borderline creepy. T: Fair. P: :) thanks T: I’m a little skeptical of texting with strangers for hours on end on my cellphone. Let’s meet for a cup of beer. P: I’m skeptical of people who say cup of beer. T: And so you should be.
Wednesday'morning. P: Where does one get a cup of beer? T: I can think of a bunch of places. But I thought I’d let you decide, so I could get some insight into your life. P: Brother Jimmy’s? P: Kidding. I’d suggest Place A in union sq. What insight into my life does that suggestion provide you with? P: And here is my number, we can talk in the real world. You’ve peaked my interest. [Gives #] T: Excellent. You’ll hear from me when you least expect it. P: As long as it’s not after 10pm on a school night you’ll hear back.
No2ce'the'pausing,'not'pushing,'silence'tension'that'she'fills. 211
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Example:&Ally&(24)
4'miles'away.'Profile'text: Everything'can'change'in'the'blink'of'an'eye T: Finally P: :) T: You’re far away, where you at? P: It says 4 miles. P: Place, New York T: 4 miles seems like the distance equivalent of an eternity. I’m in uws currently. P: Why is that? T: I’m just being cute and overly dramatic. T: You remind me of that girl from New Girl. P: I haven’t seen that show, but I will check it out T: Cool. I’m a little skeptical of texting with people I don’t know for hours on end. Let’s meet for a cup of beer. P: Skeptical of texting but ok with meeting? T: Yes. I just feel it’s hard to get to know someone my sending a bunch of texts. But it’s easy face-to-face. P: Good point. I have plans for today. But maybe tomorrow T: Great. It’ll be fun. P: Here is my cell [#]
Hopefully,'a'paXern'should'be'emerging.
Example:&Kat&(29) 22'miles'away.'Profile'text: Pull'up'your'socks'and'pump'up'your'Reeboks!! T: Finally. K: ? T: A Match with Meaning. K: Haha… How do u know? T: Male intuition. Where you at? K: I'm in Place. U? I always thought it was a females intuition that mattered* :) T: Female intuition matters to you guys. I'm near Nth street, west. T: I'm a little skeptical of chatting for hours on end with
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strangers on my phone. Let's meet for a cup of beer. K: Ok cool…I'm walking distance from the train K: Ok… I'm up for that… Sat? T: Saturday sounds good. In the early afternoon?
Decide%on%1me%and%place.
Example&roundup
I'said'I'd'give'you'another'script,'but'then'not.'You'can'see'a'clear'paXern'in' the'previous'examples,'and'it'is%a%script.'I'can'have'a'varia2on'of'that' conversa2on'and'set'up'a'meet'like'that'in'85%'of'the'cases.'Some2mes'I'need' to'handle'token'objec2ons.'Some2mes'I'need'to'pull'in'some'rabbits'from'my' hat,'as'seen'in'previous'examples.'But'most'of'the'2me'I'don't'have'to. I'urge'you'to'try'it'too.'If'you'can't'do'it,'you'need'to'understand'why'this'is' intermediate'game.'It's'not'because'saying'these'lines'are'harder'than'saying' anything'else,'it's'because'of'a'beXer'funnel.'BeXer'pictures.'BeXer'harnessing' of'momentum.'More'experience.'BeXer'2ming. You'want'to'get'to'this'point,'but'you'need'to'understand'that'all'preceding' parts'of'your'funnel'will'need'tuning. That's'why'it's'not'a'script,'in'the'common'sense.'It's'not'what'you'say.'It's'not' how'you'say'it.'It's'who'says'it.
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Advanced&game You're'on'your'own,'and'you'can'write'your'own'book'on'the'subject.'Chances' are'it'will'end'up'beXer'than'this.'You'can'brag'to'your'friends'and'pick'the' cutest'girl'of'the'bunch'and'date'her'when'you'want. You'should'feel'that'all'this'exposure'to'women'rubs'off'to'the'rest'of'your'life.' Don't'be'surprised'if'you'start'feeling'more'asser2ve'and'confident'as'a'result' of'it. I'hope'you'enjoyed'the'book.
Appendices Don't'stop'reading'quite'yet!'I've'packaged'a'bunch'of'related'informa2on'into' appendices'for'this'book.'You'll'find'informa2on'on'how'to'take'good'pictures,' how'to'post'process'them,'a'discussion'on'the'ethics'of'da2ng'and'what'to'be' aware'of,'some'resources'I've'been'referencing'through'out,'and'last'but'not' least:'A'bunch'of'real'life'reports'that'ended'with'sex.' I've'been'saving'these'for'last,'not'because'they're'not'important'but'because' the'structure'of'the'book'was'asking'for'it.'I'wanted'you'to'start'reading'and' get'up'to'speed'as'quickly'as'possible.'This'sec2on'will'give'you'some'in'depth' informa2on'and'a'taste'how'this'looks'when'all'put'together.'Hopefully'it'will' inspire'you'to'go'back'and'revisit'the'previous'sec2ons,'and'I'hope'it'will' provide'a'deeper'meaning'to'the'things'you've'already'read.
Appendix&A:&Keep&in&touch iGNITE&Mobile&Da9ng&Website This'book'could'have'been'ten'2mes'as'long,'and'more'concepts'could'have' been'discussed.'I'want'to'keep'it'short'and'sweet,'however,'for'a'number'of' reasons.'The'first'is'that'you'probably'won't'bother'reading'800'pages,'and'the' reten2on'rate'will'go'down.'Also,'you'll'quickly'get'to'a'point'where'you'need' to'interact'with'someone'to'make'sense'of'the'informa2on. That's'why'we've'setup'the'site'hXp://www.ignitemobileda2ng.com' Come'join'us,'ask'ques2ons,'share'experiences.'It's'a'way'to'future'proof'the' contents'of'the'book.'Also,'a'lot'of'the'concepts'are'just'beXer'when'discussed' in'a'more'visual'way.
Follow&us&on&TwiZer&and&Facebook TwiXer:'hXps://twiXer.com/iGNITEMobDa2ng Facebook:'hXps://www.facebook.com/iGNITEMobileDa2ng
Appendix&B:&General&photography&9ps Here'are'some'general'photography'2ps'that'should'be'easy'to'implement'by' anyone'regardless'of'ar2s2c'ability.'In'short,'just'read'these'short'sec2ons'and' keep'them'in'mind'when'you'plan'your'pictures. Take&responsibility&for&the&full&frame.'We've'all'seen'the'horribly'funny'picture' of'an'unfortunate'girl'who's'taking'a'selfie'in'the'bathroom.'But'she'forgot'to' flush.'Embarrassing?'Absolutely. It'is'your'job'to'make'sure'stuff'like'this'doesn't'happen'to'you.'Make'sure'the' background'is'pleasant'as'well'as'looking'good'yourself. One&problem&when&guys&take&pictures&of&each&other&is&that&they&take&pictures& from&their&own&eye&level.'Guys'tend'to'be'taller'than'girls,'and'this'point'of' view'invariably'makes'the'subject'look'shorter'than'he'really'is.'To'remedy'this,' shoot'from'an'approximate'chest'level'of'the'subject,'as'this'will'be'where' most'girls'see'the'person'from. The'posi2ve'flip'side'of'this'is'that'guys'who'are'short'will'seem'taller.'If'you' look'at'films'with'short'actors,'like'for'instance'Tom'Cruise,'you'll'see'this'trick' employed'all'the'2me.'It'is'really'hard'to'get'a'firm'grasp'of'Tom'Cruise's'real' rela2ve'height'unless'he'is'in'a'full'body'shot'with'another'actor.'Shoo2ng'at' middle'chest'level'is'one'important'component'of'this'effect. Avoid&taking&too&many&"staged"&photos.'Some'of'the'best'photos'that'will' ever'be'taken'of'you'are'ones'where'you're'not'aware'that'you're'being' photographed.'Have'your'friends'take'pictures'of'you'over'the'span'of'a'couple' of'hours,'and'do'the'same'for'them.'Don't'discriminate'when'you're'capturing,' just'snap'away.'You'll'get'a'lot'of'captures'where'you're'doing'stuff'and'not' consciously'puQng'on'a'face'for'the'camera.'A'lot'of'these'pictures'are' probably'as'photogenic'as'you'will'ever'get. It'is'also'possible'to'"fake"'candids.'It'is'sort'of'a'last'resort,'but'once'you'nail'it' it'becomes'easy.'Make'absolutely'sure'that'you'have'some'candid'pictures'in' 217
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your'poruolio. Posing&is&hard. Posing'is'hard'for'professional'models'and'professional'photographers' instruc2ng.'In'a'way,'when'working'with'subjects,'the'communica2on'between' photographer'and'model'is'the'hard'part,'the'ar2s2c'part.'Dialling'in'the'right' seQngs'on'the'camera'is'more'of'a'craR'and'is'more'easily'learned. This'doesn't'mean'that'you'shouldn't'try.'Put'your'gay'glasses'on'and'scour' through'the'Internet'and'magazines'for'pictures'where'guys'look'really'great.' How'are'they'posing?'Where'is'their'aXen2on?'How'is'their'body'angled' towards'the'camera?'What'parts'of'their'body'are'visible,'what'is'obscured?' Regarding'angling'of'your'body,'if'you'angle'your'body'straight'onto'the' camera,'it'will'obviously'look'bigger'than'if'you'angle'your'shoulders.'The' camera'will'oRen'exaggerate'this'effect,'however,'so'it'might'be'worthwhile'to' experiment'with'your'angling'to'get'the'effect'you'want. When'taking'pictures,'the'first'thing'you’ll'see'that'separates'amateurs'from' professionals'is'the'selec9on&of&backgrounds.'An'amateur'will'oRen'focus'on' the'subject,'ligh2ng'and'posing,'but'can'situate'the'subject'in'front'of'a'really' cluXered'and'distrac2ng'background. I’m'not'saying'that'you'should'go'to'France'and'pose'in'front'of'the'Eiffel' Tower.'Just'be'mindful'of'the'background,'and'make'sure'it’s'not'compromising' and'distrac2ng,'and'it'partakes'in'the'story'you'want'to'convey. Then'move'on'with'the'same'pictures'and'look'at'how&they're&lit. When'working'with'light'in'photography,'we'oRen'discuss'the'"quality'of'light".' Simply'put,'this'is'oRen'just'a'fancy'way'of'saying'"what'is'the'rela2ve'size'of' the'light'source".
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A'larger'light'source'will'create'higher'quality'light.'This'is'because'the'light'will' hit'the'subject'from'many'angles'at'once'and'wrap'around'it.'It'will'fill'the' pores'of'your'skin'and'make'it'look'younger,'smoother'and'healthier.' You'd'be'tempted'to'think'that'direct'sunlight'is'high'quality'light,'but'it'is'not.' The'sun'is'big,'but'it'is'very'far'away,'and'for'all'intents'and'purposes'is'more'of' a'point'light.'It'will'cast'harsh'shadows'in'your'face'and'create'very'unflaXering' images. If'you're'shoo2ng'outdoors,'you'll'be'way'beXer'shoo2ng'on'a'day'with' overcast.'Also,'consider'indirect'light.'Light'bounces'off'all'bright'surfaces,'and' if'you'manage'to'get'sunlight'bounced'off'a'white'wall,'the'quality'of'this'light' is'bound'to'be'way'higher'than'direct'sunlight,'as'the'light'will'scaXer'from'the' imperfec2ons'of'the'wall. Indoors'it'can'be'preXy'easy'to'find'high'quality'light'sources.'IKEAglamps,'the' tall,'standing'kind'with'a'paper'screen'around'them'make'a'preXy'big'light' source.'Also,'you'can'point'a'spot'light'into'the'roof'if'it'is'white. In'terms'of'ligh2ng,'always'turn'off'the'on'camera'flash'if'it'cannot'be'swivelled' around.'A'straight'flash'shot'creates'the'most'unflaXering'images'you'can' imagine,'but'you'might'have'only'seen'these'kinds'of'pictures'of'yourself'and' be'lead'to'believe'that'you’re'not'photogenic. Flash'should'only'be'used'in'"fill'mode"'(filling'in'shadows'created'by,'say,' direct'sunlight),'or'"bounced"'(meaning'you'can'flip'the'flash'head'around'and' bounce'the'light'off'a'ceiling'or'wall).' Unless'you'become'a'seasoned'photographer,'you'might'as'well'turn'off'the' flash'for'now,'even'the'lights'on'your'cellphone.'If'nothing'else,'just'to'see'the' difference. A'really'nice'effect'is'to'“backlight”'or'“rim'light”,'basically'meaning'you'put' yourself'in'front'of'a'light'that'is'shining'in'the'direc2on'of'the'camera.'This' 219
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oRen'presents'a'drama2c'effect,'and'can'create'a'very'nice'wraparound'light. We'could'go'into'details'about'different'ways'to'light'for'portraiture,'like'split' ligh2ng'and'two'thirds,'but'the'basic'rule'of'thumb'is'going'to'be'to'simply' make'it'look'good.'This'oRen'involves'making'different'parts'of'the'face'be'lit' up'with'different'amounts'of'light.'Different'faces'will'respond'differently'to' this. Yeah,'a'lot'of'you'are'going'to'whine'about'this,'but'I'll'put'it'bluntly:'Use& makeup. Makeup'is'used'by'all'professional'male'models'and'actors,'and'for'a'reason.' You'just'look'a'lot'beXer. If'you're'the'outgoing'kind,'visit'a'local'store'and'ask'the'help.'They'will'try'to' sell'you'a'concealer,'a'base,'powder,'eyeliner'and'mascara.'They'will'probably' also'try'to'get'you'to'use'some'kind'of'sun'powder.'If'you'choose'to'go'this' route,'tell'them'to'show'you'how'to'apply'it'in'a'way'that'looks'natural,'and' they'll'happily'do'so'at'most'places.'Take'notes. All'of'these'can'be'good,'but'they'also'tend'to'be'expensive.'A'full'setup'with' brushes'can'easily'set'you'back'a'couple'of'hundred'dollars'or'more,' depending'on'the'brands. I'personally'only'use'three'things'in'my'arsenal'right'now.'A'BBgcream,'eyeliner' and'mascara. The'BBgcream'is'a'beauty/blemishgcream.'Nudie'from'L'Oreal'is'really'good'for' my'skin'and'fairly'inexpensive.'It'is'also'easy'to'choose'the'right'one,'as'it' comes'in'just'a'few'varia2ons.'What%is%going%to%work%for%your%skin%is%going%to%be% different%than%what%is%going%to%work%for%me,%so%do%your%research. Just'put'some'of'it'on'your'hand'and'gently'put'stuff'on'your'finger'and'rub'it' on'the'face'on'your'skin.'Make'sure'it's'distributed'fairly'evenly.'Especially' 220
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make'sure'it'tapers'off'nicely'when'you'reach'your'neck.'Also'hairlines'and' beard'lines.'If'you'do'this'correctly,'it'will'not'look'like'you're'using'makeup.'If' it'does,'you're'doing'it'wrong. Mascara'is'great'for'making'your'eyes'pop.'Just'apply'liberally'on'top'and' boXom'lashes.'Chances'are'it'will'not'be'visible'in'any'photos,'it'will'just'make' your'eyes'look'beXer. The'same'goes'for'the'eyeliners,'it'just'gives'your'eyes'defini2on.'I'use'the' eyeliner'on'the'outer'half'of'my'boXom'waterline. This'is'also'makeup'you'can'wear'when'you'go'out'on'the'town.'I'do'every'2me' I'go'out,'and'people'never'no2ce.'I'just'look'beXer.'It'might'be'a'liXle' uncomfortable'the'first'2me'because'you're'self'conscious,'but'it'really'does' make'you'look'a'lot'beXer'and'younger. Experiment'with'focal&length.'If'you'have'a'zoom'lens,'move'away'from'the' subject'and'zoom'in'as'far'as'possible.'This'will'wash'away'more'of'the' perspec2ve,'and'make'most'people'look'beXer.'It'will'basically'create'the' opposite'effect'of'taking'a'portrait'through'a'fisheye'lens,'where'most'of'your' features'will'be'exaggerated.
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Depending'on'the'quality'of'your'lens,'it'will'also'help'you'make'the' background'out'of'focus.'Try'to'make'some'distance'between'the'subject'and' the'background,'open'the'lens'as'much'as'possible'(low'Fgnumber)'and'zoom' in'as'long'as'possible. This'very'desirable'effect'is'one'of'the'reasons'why'you'might'want'to'choose' to'purchase'a'fixed'length'lens.'It'will'give'you'this'effect'in'abundance,'and' just'make'all'your'portraits'look'beXer. If'you're'working'with'a'DSLR'with'a'1.6'crop'factor,'anything'between'85mm' and'135mm'will'give'you'good'results.'On'a'micro'four'thirdsgcamera,'the' 222
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rela2vely'inexpensive'45mm'from'Olympus'gives'me'repeatable'good'results. You’ll'want'to'get'into'the'habit'of'taking'selfies'as'oRen'as'possible.' Depending'of'the'different'looks'you'get,'these'might'make'their'way'into'a' Tinder'profile,'and'depending'on'the'technology'you’re'using,'they'might'also' come'in'handy'on'Snapchat. Taking'selfies'was'sort'of'a'revela2on'for'me,'as'I'was'never'really'happy'with' pictures'others'took'of'me.'Selfies'allow'you'to'compose'your'own'pictures,' and'the'photographergtogmodelgloop'is'a'lot'shorter.' Suddenly,'finding'the'"good'side"'to'pose'from'is'easy,'doing'a'sweep'for'the' right'background'is'easy,'tes2ng'to'see'how'the'camera'reacts'to'different'rim' lights'is'preXy'easy. In'a'sense,'I'guess'you'could'say'that'selfies'can'help'you'learn'how'to'be' photogenic.
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Appendix&C:&Photoshop In'this'day'and'age,'anyone'can'do'professional'level'processing'with'dirt'cheap' or'even'free'apps'for'mobile'phone'and'desktop.'There'is'no'reason'not'to'do' this;'everyone'else'does. So,'this'sec2on'is'named'"Photoshop",'but'you'really'don't'need'to'use'the' actual'Photoshop'product'for'it.'Photoshopping'has'turned'into'a'verb'these' days,'and'it'is'sort'of'synonymous'with'processing'your'images. There'will'be'numerous'mobile'apps'that'do'most'of'these'tasks'fairly'well'if' you'don't'want'to'splurge'on'a'Photoshop'license.'There'is'also'a'cheap'version' of'Photoshop'called'Photoshop'Elements'which'might'be'of'some'interest'to' you. Some'processing'is'just'icing,'like'adding'a'color'filter'in'Instagram.'It'is'also' possible'to'do'some'deeper'processing'to'appear'more'aXrac2ve'and'get'more' matches. We'll'look'at'both. This&sec9on&will&only&give&you&a&really&brief&introduc9on&to&photo& manipula9on&as&the&scope&needs&to&be&kept&down.&There&are&a&lot&of&excellent& resources&out&there,&and&YouTube&will&give&you&a&lot&of&pointers.&I&include&this& sec9on&mainly&because&it&will&give&you&the&correct&rough&outlines&of&how&to& approach&this&topic,&as&well&as&some&helpful&search&terms.&Do¬&expect&to& become&a&Photoshop&guru&by&reading&this.
In'the'context'of'this'text,'"Enhancements"'means'making'yourself'look'beXer' through'slightly'dishonest'means.'This'is'the'kind'of'Photoshopping'people'are' raging'against'in'the'fashion'world,'where'everyone'has'perfect'skin,'slim' waistlines'and'generally'look'like'supermodels. We're'not'going'to'aim'for'making'you'look'like'a'supermodel,'instead'we're' 224
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just'going'to'gently'tweak'some'of'the'parameters'a'2ny'bit'in'your'favor.' Remember,'a'liXle'goes'a'long'way.
Skin&healing The'simplest'way'to'do'skin&healing'is'to'use'the'Photoshop'spot'healing' brush.'This'will'basically'remove'blemishes'with'the'click'of'a'buXon.'You'can' do'this'directly'on'the'layer'containing'your'picture. If'you'need'to'balance'out'larger'areas'of'skin,'you'can'use'the'eye'picker'tool' to'find'a'part'of'your'skin'that'has'the'desired'color'and'just'use'the'brush'tool' to'paint'over'the'exis2ng'skin'on'a'new'layer.'When'you've'done'this,'it'will' look'extremely'fake,'but'just'dial'down'the'opacity'for'the'new'layer,'and'it'will' blend'nicely'into'the'exis2ng'picture. The'Photoshop'shortcut'for'bringing'up'the'skin'heal'tool'is'J.'If'you'hold'shiR' while'pressing'J,'you'will'cycle'through'different'kinds'of'skin'healing'tools.'I' prefer'the'spot'healing'tool,'selected'in'this'image.
You'can'change'the'size'of'the'brush'using'the'hard'bracket'keys,'['and'].'The' 225
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spot'healing'brush'works'best'if'you'do'single'clicks,'not'click'and'drag.' Some2mes'it'will'smudge'the'areas'around'the'brush'somewhat'unflaXeringly.' If'this'happens,'just'undo'with'CtrlgZ,'change'the'brush'size'and'try'again. You'can'use'the'liquify'filter'to'body&sculpt.'Make'sure'you'pick'a'brush'of'the' right'size'(use'the'['and']gkeys'to'quickly'change'brush'size'using'the'keyboard)' and'make'small'adjustments.'Make'sure'you'don’t'affect'the'background,'as' this'gives'away'that'the'pictures'have'been'doctored. You'can'also'preXy'convincingly'paint'on'some'features'like'abs'by'slightly' exaggera2ng'the'shadows'that'are'already'there.'Just'pick'a'part'of'the'body' with'a'darker'skin'tone,'paint'it'on'with'the'brush'on'a'different'layer'and' lower'the'opacity'un2l'it'is'no'longer'visible.
Jawline There'are'two'quick'ways'to'give'you'a'more'manly'jawline,'and'this'is'an' aXrac2on'trigger'with'a'lot'of'women.'First,'you'can'use'the'liquify'filter'with'a' fairly'large'brush'to'just'nudge'out'the'jaw.'Also,'using'a'dark'brush'on'a' different'layer,'subtly'add'some'more'shadow'under'the'jawline,'and'adjust' opacity'down.' Remember,'if'you'can'see'it,'you're'overdoing'it.
Removing&grey&hair Use'the'colorize'tool'in'photoshop'in'correspondence'with'the'eyedropper'to' remove'unwanted'greys.'Again,'this'can'be'used'on'a'separate'layer'and'have' its'opacity'dropped'to'create'the'desired'effect. Whatever'you'do,'don’t'overdo'this,'if'you'decide'to'do'it'at'all.'If'you'get' caught'doctoring'your'pictures,'you’ll'basically'look'like'a'fool.'To'understand' how'badly'this'will'look,'do'a'google'search'for'“Photoshop'fail”'and'bathe'in' the'scathing'feedback'that'is'given'to'the'poor'people. If'you'can'see'the'effect,'you’ve'overdone'it.'If'it'changes'the'background,'be' 226
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extremely'wary. A'lot'of'the'stuff'that'is'usually'done'in'Photoshop'is'similar'to'the'work'that'is' done'in'the'classic'dark'room.'If'pictures'taken'with'a'digital'camera'aren't' processed'in'one'way'or'another,'the'data'really'wouldn't'easy'to'interpret'to' the'human'eye. In'a'sense,'all'digital'images'are'processed,'only'we'don't'think'of'it'that'way' because'it'oRen'happens'with'soRware'in'the'camera.'There'is,'in'other'words,' nothing'inherently'wrong'with'processing'your'images,'it'has'to'happen' anyway.
Color&filters Color'filters'might'be'best'handled'in'mobile'apps'like'Instagram'and'the'like.' They'usually'come'with'rather'impressive'filter'packs'that'give'instant'results.' Here'are'a'couple'of'applica2ons'for'your'respec2ve'phones: 6snap'is'a'third'party'Snapchat'client'for'Windows'Phone.'6snap'has'built'in'a' set'of'excellent'filters'and'a'selec2ve'blur'tool.'The'kicker'is'that'these'pictures' can'be'saved'to'your'photo'reel'and'loaded'at'a'later'2me'if'needed.'To'do' quick'selfie'manipula2on,'6snap'is'very'good. Repix'on'iPhone'is'free'and'contains'a'bunch'of'good'looking'filters. On'iPhone'and'Android,'also'check'out'the'Pixlrgproducts.'They'also'have'a' good'online'offering.
Selec9ve&focus Expensive'cameras'have'the'ability'to'create'a'"shallow'depth'of'field".'This'is'a' fancy'way'of'saying'that'some'parts'of'the'image'will'be'blurred'while'some' will'not;'some'parts'will'be'in'focus,'some'parts'will'be'out. The'benefit'of'this'is'that'you'can'separate'the'subject'(you)'from'a'messy' background'and'make'yourself'"pop".'It'is'easy'to'lead'the'eye'to'whatever'is'in' 227
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focus.'Also,'it'looks'stylish. Keep'in'mind'when'applying'selec2ve'blur'to'always'keep'your'eyes'in'focus.'As' with'all'rules,'it'can'be'broken,'but'unless'you're'going'for'a'very'specific'aruul' look'and'know'what'you're'doing,'this'is'a'keeper. A'simple'way'to'achieve'this'effect'is'to'duplicate'the'main'layer'and'then'blur' it'using'the'filter'Gaussian'blur.'You'can'then'create'a'layer'mask'for'the' blurred'layer'and'use'gradient'tools'on'the'mask'to'make'the'effect'blend'in' selec2vely. If'you'search'for'the'term,'there'are'now'mobile'apps'that'will'apply'the'same' effect'to'your'pictures.
Black&and&white&processing Black'and'white'processing'isn't'a'mere'opera2on'of'"removing'color"'from'an' image,'it'can'be'done'in'a'number'of'ways.'Imagine'a'picture'with'a'red'cloth' on'a'table.'Removing'the'red'from'this'cloth'might'turn'the'color'into'a'neutral' grey.'You'could'also'process'this'red'to'become'a'darker'grey,'giving'the'image' more'"punch". Image'processing'soRware'allows'you'to'process'color'to'black'and'white'in'a' variety'of'ways,'so'don't'just'seXle'for'a'"desaturated"'image;'experiment'with' different'ways'of'B/Wgconversion'to'find'the'processing'that'gives'the'image' some'character.
Applica9ons If'you'cannot'find'anything'to'your'liking'in'this'short'list,'Google'will'help'you' out'in'a'jiffy'if'you'need'photo'manipula2on'apps.'Helpful'search'strings'will'be' "instagram'filters",'"photo'effects",'etc,'oRen'paired'with'the'plauorm'of' choice.'Respec2ve'app'stores'will'obviously'also'be'helpful.
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Appendix&D:&Ethics I'want'to'get'this'out'of'the'way.'Just'brutal'honesty.'You'want'to'get'laid'more,' you'want'to'get'laid'with'beXer'looking'women,'younger'women,'hoXer' women'or'just'sex'crazed'teenyboppers.'Or'not.'No'maXer'what'your'end'goal' with'this'is,'be'it'banging'teens'or'geQng'a'girlfriend'to'seXle'down'with,'I’ll' try'to'have'your'bases'covered.'There'is'absolutely'nothing'wrong'with'having' desires'and'wan2ng'to'supercharge'your'sex'life.'There'is'also'nothing'wrong' with'striving'for'a'solid'and'long'las2ng'rela2onship.
Lying&and&chea9ng To'become'truly'effec2ve'at'this,'some2mes'you'have'to'bend'the'truth'a'liXle.' No,'I'promised'to'be'blunt,'and'be'brutally'honest.'Some2mes'you'have'to'be'a' lowlife'lying,'chea2ng'scumbag'to'achieve'your'goals,'depending,'of'course,'on' how'loRy'they'are.'If'your'mission'in'life'is'to'bang'as'many'hot'18'year'old'girls' as'possible,'it'simply'will'not'happen'if'your'Tinder'profile'is'shou2ng'out'that' you’re'fiRy'years'old.'Even'if'you'are.'Chances'are'most'girls'on'the'service'will' not'even'see'your'profile. This'is'a'double'edged'problem.'Many'women'might'find'you'aXrac2ve' regardless'of'your'age.'It'just'doesn’t'work'like'that'online.'On'Tinder,'age'is' probably'2ed'for'the'second'most'important'factor,'and'if'your'profile'isn’t' even'shown'to'your'prospects,'you’ve'lost'before'you'even'get'started. So'what'do'you'do?'Well,'you'basically'lie'and'cheat. You'need'to'personally'do'the'soul'searching'to'figure'out'if'this'is'something' you’re'willing'to'do,'but'if'you'are'I’ll'show'you'how.
Age Let's'face'it;'we're'not'all'beau2ful'25'year'old'beau2es'anymore.'This'seriously' hampers'our'abili2es'in'the'da2ng'game.'If'you'are'a'gorgeous'25'year'old' hunk,'you'might'want'to'skip'this'part.'This'goes'for'basically'all'these'sec2ons' about'lying'and'chea2ng'your'way'ahead.'However,'age'is'going'to'catch'up' 229
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with'everybody,'so'you'might'as'well'be'prepared. Online,'your'age'is'extremely'prominent.'Not'only'is'it'“in'your'face”'visible,'it' is'also'a'search'parameter.'Trust'me,'most'girls'who'are'23'don’t'go'searching' for'guys'who'are'close'to'50'online.'There'is'a'mismatch'between'the'real' world,'where'they'happily'go'to'bed'with'you,'and'the'virtual'one,'where'they' all'of'a'sudden'become'reluctant'and'shielded'from'you.'This'is'why'I' personally'usually'lower'my'online'age'from'39'to'somewhere'between'26g33,' depending'on'who'I'want'to'connect'with.'We’ll'get'back'to'these'things'later,' but'just'keep'in'mind'that'there'might'be'good'reasons'that'are'perfectly' jus2fiable'why'you’d'want'to'do'this.'ARer'all,'if'you'didn’t,'these'ladies' wouldn’t'really'have'the'op2on'of'going'on'the'adventure'you’re'providing'for' them. Nowhere'in'the'world'is'age'as'per2nent'as'online'and'on'mobile'services.'Girls' who'would'normally'really'like'you'will'some2mes'not'even'consider'you' because'of'age.'Even'worse,'you'might'be'screened'out'before'your'pictures' are'even'exposed'to'them,'so'even'if'you'are'their'"grey'fox"gfantasy,'they'll' never'get'the'chance'to'see'you. So'yes,'in'this'case,'lying'and'chea2ng'is'not'only'your'only'op2on,'it'might' even'be'the'correct'thing'to'do.
What&can&you&get&away&with? The'first'and'perhaps'most'important'ques2on'is'what'can'you'get'away'with.' We'll'talk'about'this'in'great'detail'later,'but'start'thinking'about'it'right'now.'If' you'were'to'really'push'it,'what'age'could'get'away'with?'The'simplest'way'to' find'out'is'to'ask'people,'random'people'you'meet'on'the'town,'to'guess'your' age.'If'they'guess'your'real'age,'you'might'just'want'to'keep'it'at'that,'and' allow'yourself'to'get'fewer'matches.'It's'usually'no'big'deal,'as'there'are'a'lot' of'girls'out'there. I'm'currently'33'on'my'Tinder'profile,'while'I'am'39'in'real'life.'This'gives'me' occasional'hits'from'18'and'19'year'old'girls,'with'quite'a'few'in'the'early' twen2es.
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I'do,'however,'cheat.'I've'tried'to'stay'out'of'direct'sunlight'most'parts'of'my' life,'and'that's'paying'off.'I'also'frequently'detox,'work'out'and'use'makeup.' I've'covered'the'usage'of'makeup'in'an'previous'sec2on,'but'you'need'to' understand'that'there'is'no'magic'anywhere.'If'you're'fat,'old'and'unhealthy'it' will'limit'who'will'want'to'have'your'dick'in'their'cavi2es.'The'sooner'you'wake' up'to'this'fact,'the'beXer'off'you'll'be,'because'you'can'choose'to'do' something'about'it'or'you'can'adjust'your'expecta2ons.
Income For'a'number'of'reasons,'I'wouldn't'lie'about'my'income.'This'means'that'you' should'not'go'out'of'your'way'to'appear'wealthy,'because'it'tends'to'polarize' women'in'the'"gold'digger"'direc2on;'they'will'look'at'you'in'a'poten2al' provider'light'and'try'to'bag'you'as'a'boyfriend'more'than'a'sexual'fling. Now,'obviously'there's'nothing'wrong'with'being'a'boyfriend,'but'you'might' not'want'to'limit'this'so'early'on. You'want'to'aim'for'"well'off";'you'don't'have'many'economical'worries.'This' means'that'you'll'happily'pick'up'the'tab'at'a'place,'but'you'normally'go'for'a' cup'of'coffee'or'tea'rather'than'a'meal'on'the'first'date.'This'has'many' benefits;'she'won't'feel'in'debt'to'you'and'you'won't'go'broke.'There'is'no' aXempt'to'"lock'in".' In'terms'of'lying'and'chea2ng,'you'want'to'give'off'the'impression'that'you'are' "doing'OK"'even'if'you'are'dirt'poor.'This'means'that'you'need'to'take'care'of' your'appearance,'have'clean'clothes'and'shoes,'and'appear'well'groomed'in' general.
Likes Tinder'will'match'you'on'shared'Facebook'likes.'In'most'cases'this'won't' maXer,'but'I've'matched'with'super'hot'women'because'we'have'a'lot'of' common'likes.'If'you'like'stuff'you'don't'really'like'on'Facebook,'you're'lying,'in' a'sense.'
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An'effec2ve'middle'ground'is'just'adding'more'likes'for'stuff'you'really'and' truly'like,'but'you'might'not'be'overly'enthusias2c'about.'This'isn't'really'a'big' deal,'and'we'covered'in'the'sec2on'about'likes'earlier.
Con9ngencies This'leads'us'to'con2ngencies.'Lying'and'chea2ng'is'one'thing,'and'nobody' likes'to'lie.'It’s'even'worse'to'be'caught'in'a'lie.'This'is'why'we'will'also'provide' you'with'con2ngencies.'Not'only'for'things'like'your'age'and'your'pictures,'but' conversa2onal'con2ngencies'will'be'presented.'This'is'a'part'of'being'able'to' be'in'a'situa2on'that'is'less'than'ideal'and's2ll'coming'out'on'top.'And'let’s' face'it,'most'situa2ons'are'actually'less'than'ideal. This'is'also'where'most'people'give'up,'wai2ng'for'a'perfect'moment.'I’ll'give' you'the'tools'to'operate'in'the'real'world,'where'real'problems'happen'in'real' 2me. What'do'you'do,'exactly,'if'you're'caught'lying'about'your'age?'If'it'turns'out' you'don't'really'look'like'the'guy'on'your'pictures?'If'you've'indicated'that'you' like'Jus2n'Bieber'when'you'really,'really,'fucking'really'don't? Well,'you'need'to'plot'out'the'con2ngencies'for'all'your'lies,'and'you'beXer'be' thorough'about'it. If'you’re'dead'set'about'lying'about'your'age,'you'have'a'decision'to'make.'You' either'keep'it'up'or'you'claim'it’s'a'mistake.'Both'take'some'prepara2on'to'do,' and'the'more'you'prepare'for'these'less'than'ideal'situa2ons,'the'more'you’ll' find'that'it'might'not'be'worth'the'trouble. I’ve'bumped'my'birth'date'to'being'21ÜÄ'of'May,'1980.'This'means'I'am'born'on' the'same'day'as'the'one'hit'wonder'Gotye.'It'means'that'I'never'got'to' experience'the'seven2es. Her: So, you’re 33.
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Me: Yes, I looked it up, I was actually born on the same day as Gotye, you remember that guy with that song? You didn’t have to cuuuut me off. He’s like one of the word’s hugest one hit wonders. Except for maybe that Macarena song. You still remember the dance?
Classic'misdirec2on. Alterna2vely,'you'can'say'something'along'the'lines'of: Her: So, you’re 33. Me: Hm. What? Look%at%her%puzzledly.%If%you%are%lucky,%the%whole%issue%will%just%go% away. Her: What do you mean, your profile says you’re 33. Me: Hm, it does? Where does it pick up that information? I haven’t really looked at that number, but I guess it picks it up from Facebook, right? Her: Yes. At%this%point%she’ll%fish%out%her%phone%and%show%you%your%profile,%with%your% lie%blinking%in%your%face. Me: That’s just strange, that’s not really my age. Shouldn’t it pick it up from Facebook? Her: Yes. She%will%look%at%you%with%evil%eyes. Me: Ah, yes, I remember now. I have a private age on Facebook, I have been using the advertising platform on Facebook for a startup I’m doing, and I tweaked it to a lower age to check that the ads were showing up. This is really uncomfortable. Her: No, honey, it’s OK. You’re cute.
An'elaborate'lie.'Of'course,'now'you'have'to'be'able'to'tell'her'about'the' startup'that’ll'be'paying'for'her'Mercedes.'One'elaborate'lie'needs'to'be' followed'up'with'another,'more'elaborate. If'you’ve'been'exceedingly'enthusias2c'doctoring'your'pictures,'she'might' become'suspicious.'You'can'tell'her'you'have'a'photographer'friend'help'you' make'them'look'cool,'but'he'promised'to'just'adjust'the'colors.'You'can'tell'her' it'was'just'a'joke,'and'she'should'understand'that'based'on'the'shoddy' workmanship.'You'can'tell'her'the'pictures'are'old,'and'you'thought'Facebook' 233
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picked'them'at'random.
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Appendix&E:&Reports Here'are'some'real'life'reports'of'things'that'went'reasonably'well.'If'you're'a' seasoned'gamer,'you'll'look'at'this'and'think'to'yourself'that'there'seems'to'be' very'liXle'game'involved.'You're'right.'
Denise,&27&years&old Level:'Beginner. T: Where are you? D: Place A. T: It says 100 miles away. The place you’re claiming to be is a 10 minute walk from here. D: Came from a different city yesterday yesterday, perhaps that is a confusing factor. T: Do you want to get a cup of beer to see if it holds water? D: Yes, what time and place? T: Name of nearby pub 20:30. D: Ok. T: Good. T: 21. I was occupied. T: Did you receive? I dislike people waiting for me. T: What is your number? D: Ah, just saw the message, I'm here. D: # T: Ah, sorry. Be right there. D: Ok, I'll start without you T: As long as we finish together. Priming D: Wow. T: As long as everyone is having fun. It's spring. Liberator D: True.
I'meet'with'her'and'have'a'couple'of'beers.'Place'closes'early'because'it's'a' Sunday.'When'we'exit'I'ask'her'which'way'she's'going,'and'she'says'she's'open' for'sugges2ons.'I'suggest'we'go'home,'so'we'do.
Zoe,&21&years&old Level:'Advanced. This'isn't'going'to'be'a'super'detailed'report,'because'it'doesn't'make'any' sense'to'spend'2me'detailing'the'same'steps'again'and'again. Keywords:'Sexualiza2on,'simmering,'availability,'liberators,'frame'installa2on,' the'penis'progression So'I've'been'talking'to'this'girl'on'Tinder'for'a'while.'She's'21,'and'I've'not' really'been'doing'a'good'job.'A'bunch'of'halfgassed'aXempts'to'meet'up'which' have'been'killed'by'just'bad'logis2cal'situa2ons'in'general. I've'gradually'pushed'it'into'a'very'sexual'vibe,'which'would'technically'in'many' cases'be'pure'overextension,'but'she's'responded'very'favorably'most'of'the' 2me.'Here'are'some'examples: I'ran'the'penis'progression.' Zoe: Hahah I'm opening the first T: NO! It's a hard on! Don't! Zoe: Yuck T: WHY?! You imbecile. Zoe: You can't tell an incredibly curious person not to do something.. Zoe: They will do the opposite! Zoe: And ps: you took the picture, not I. T: This is the kind of stuff that just happens. When it's spring. T: Could be a lot worse, I'm pretty happy with that picture. Zoe: Haha good for you T: Agreed. Zoe: [Sending emoticon with the OK hand gesture] T: I like you. You have a lot of confidence and are very funny. A pleasant creature. Do you still want to meet? Zoe: Daring move after the penis picture, L.
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T: You like penis. You're not the shy kind. Zoe: Haha
Then'the'next'Saturday'I'basically'asked'what'she's'doing,'turns'out'she's'at'a' warmup'party'and'going'out'later.'I'tell'her'I'm'in'the'same'situa2on.'She'asks' where'I'm'going,'and'I'say'I'm'not'sure,'but'it's'probably'downtown.'Then,' around'12:30AM'I'get'a'message'that'they've'gone'to'a'cafe'nearby'because'of' the'long'lines. T: Ah, ok. I can't go there, I don't care for it. Perhaps some other time. Zoe: Haha OK! Zoe: We don't want the long lines-but I wanted to meet you.
I'change'my'mind'and'go'to'the'place'and'see'what'could'easily'have'been'a' nightmare'situa2on.'She's'there'with'5'other'girls.'6'girls'are'going'to'have'an' easier'2me'finding'flaws'with'you'than'just'1. So'I'introduce'myself.'Spend'some'2me'doing'normal'escala2on'for'this'kind'of' venue,'which'is'basically'just'touching'her'and'leading'her'in'whenever'she' talks.'Imagine'a'"claw"gkind'of'move'that'just'underlines'the'conversa2on. This'chick,'Jennifer,'leans'over'and'whispers'something'to'Zoe. Zoe'starts'to'laugh'and'says'to'me: "Jennifer'wants'to'fuck'you'if'I'don't." "That's'a'flaXering'compliment,"'I'respond. I'quickly'clarify'the'fact'that'I'am'39'and'not'33.'This'goes'over'well.'Some'of' the'girls'are'going'out'to'smoke'and'I'join'them.'Within'five'minutes'we're' making'out.'Around'1:30AM'she's'going'for'extrac2on. "If'you'want'to'take'me'home'this'is'the'2me,"'she'said. "OK." 238
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I'get'some'token'resistance'when'we'get'home'and'bang'her'on'the'couch'in' my'livingroom.'I'take'her'to'my'room'and'snuggle'and'bang'her'again. On'Tinder: Zoe: "This is without a doubt a walk of shame." T: "STRIDE OF PRIDE!"
We's2ll'meet'regularly'to'this'day,'she'is'my'Saturday'girlfriend.
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Appendix&F:&Resources Here's'a'list'of'resources'that'have'been'referenced'through'the'book.'
A&soma9c&approach&to&beZering&yourself TRE'g'Trauma'Releasing'Exercises,'David'Berceli:'hXp:// www.traumapreven2on.com/ Code'of'the'Natural,'Rob'Brinded:'hXp://www.codeoRhenatural.com/'
Workout&program You'll'find'a'decent'descrip2on'of'the'5x5'programme'here:'hXp:// strongliRs.com/5x5/
Data&management Evernote:'hXp://www.evernote.com/ Trello:'hXps://trello.com/
Miscellaneous The'picture'discussed'previously'that'I'some2mes'send'to'submissive'girls'on' Snapchat'can'be'found'here:'hXp://www.ignitemobileda2ng.com/sexualg priming
Appendix&G:&SeVng&up&a&group We've'men2oned'the'benefits'of'seQng'up'a'group'for'working'with'this' material'earlier.'I'm'just'quickly'going'to'go'through'a'proposed'format'for'such' a'group,'and'talk'briefly'about'some'of'my'experiences'with'it. S2ck'to'the'A's'of'mee2ng: • • • •
Agenda Ac2ons Actors Alterna2ves
Do'decide'on'an'agenda'for'the'mee2ngs,'so'the'mee2ngs'have'structure.'If' you'don't,'chances'are'you'll'just'end'up'doing'chitchat.'This'agenda'should' have'certain'recurring'items. Here&are&some&sugges9ons: Make'sure'you'have'a'person'leading'the'mee2ng. Let'everyone'in'the'group'do'a'quick'recap.'Limit'the'recap'to'5'minutes'per' person.'During'this'recap,'allow'the'members'to'iden2fy'things'that'they'did' well'and'things'that'were'problema2c.'Limi2ng'the'speaking'2me'allows'all' members'to'share'their'main'experiences'before'the'whole'group'is'2red. The'mee2ng'leader'makes'note'of'these'items.'If'there'is'a'general'interest'in' discussing'the'different'items,'they'can'be'discussed'aRer'all'members'have' recapped'their'week.'John'might'have'a'problem'with'discussions'dying'out' while'Pete'has'a'problem'geQng'girls'back'to'his'place'from'his'favorite'bar.' Obviously,'Pete'can'share'some'of'his'experiences'on'seQng'up'meets. As'oRen'as'possible,'refer'to'a'shared'curriculum.'There'is'nothing'wrong'with' personal'experience,'but'sharing'curriculum'makes'it'easier'for'everybody'to' contribute.'It'is'also'helpful'that'more'people'look'at'shared'informa2on,' 241
iGNITE
because'it'will'make'it'easier'to'find'errors'with'the'material'and'highlite' especially'effec2ve'techniques. Do'take'notes'and'post'it'in'a'shared'space.'SeQng'up'a'forum,'crea2ng'a' Google'document'or'sharing'a'folder'on'Dropbox'are'all'fine,'as'long'as'you'all' have'access'to'the'informa2on'aRer'the'mee2ng. Keep'the'number'of'par2cipants'at'a'sensible'level.'If'the'mee2ngs'become'too' lengthy'produc2vity'will'suffer.'I'find'4g5'people'is'sort'of'a'sweet'spot'for' these'kinds'of'groups. Look'out'for'people'geQng'stuck'because'they'don't'follow'through.'Someone' can'meet'up'for'a'group'four'weeks'in'a'row,'s2ll'being'stuck'at'the'same'place' they'were'when'they'started.'If'you'hear'excuses'like'"I'didn't'have'the'2me'to' look'at'that"'and'repeatedly'use'phrases'like'"this'doesn't'really'apply'to'me",' they'don't'belong'in'the'group.'They'might'be'right,'the'material'might'really' not'apply'to'them,'but'the'point'of'the'group'is'to'create'a'place'where'people' with'similar'problems'look'for'solu2ons'together. You'need'to'have'people'that'actually'deliver'on'their'promise'aRer'every' mee2ng,'or'they're'out.'People'like'this'can'suck'out'any'energy'that'the'rest' of'the'par2cipants'put'into'the'group'in'no'2me,'and'they'have'no'place'in'a' produc2ve'group.'You'll'see'people'par2cipate'in'groups'like'this'as'a'social' outlet.'Kick'them'out.'There's'nothing'wrong'with'being'social,'but'it's'for' another'place'and'2me.
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Closing¬es If'you'enjoyed'the'book,'please'take'the'2me'to'go'on'the'service'you' purchased'it'and'give'it'a'favorable'review.'As'an'independent'publisher,'all' aXen2on'is'good'aXen2on,'and'it'is'crucial'for'my'ability'to'keep'maintaining' the'book'in'terms'of'updates'and'surrounding'material'that'you'help'support' it. If'you'didn’t'like'it,'for'whatever'reason,'please'say'so.'Please'try'to'be'specific' and'construc2ve'so'the'product'can'change'in'future'versions.'Either'leave'a' construc2ve'review,'or'reach'out'to'me'at'
[email protected].' I'thank'you'for'your'aXen2on'and'I'hope'we’ll'meet'again'soon.
Thanks Huge'thanks'to'everyone'who'has'helped'me'proofread'and'given'sugges2ons' on'how'to'improve'this'book.'I'could'not'have'done'this'without'you.
