How to Train Your Wife

How to Train Your Wife

and turn her into your best friend by Joe

Hawk

Copyright Notice © 2008 Published by SmartThinkers Ebooks™. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publicatin may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic without the express permission of the publisher. You may not re-distibute or share this ebook, you have the right to print one copy for your own use and to keep one electronic copy for your own use. Disclaimer This ebook has been designed to provide information in regard to the subject matter covered. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, ommisions or contrary interpretation of the subject matter. This ebook is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher are engaged in rendering legal, counselling or other services. If expert assistance is required the services of a competent professional should be sought. This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read. Publishers contact information www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com support@ smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Contents Introduction.....................................................................................................................................................................1 So you want to train your wife? 1. Be a coach, not a Ring Master .............................................................................................................3 It’s the 21st Century 2. What’s your problem?.....................................................................................................................................8 Good guys get the medals, the tough guy gets the girl. 3. Who’s in charge here? ..............................................................................................................................15 Take the reins – and the steering wheel - of your marriage 4. What women want 1.01. ...........................................................................................................................21 Understand your opponent – if you ever want to win. 5. What women want 1.02. ...........................................................................................................................25 Set an example, she will follow. 6. What women want 1.03 ........................................................................................................................30 Teach her to be your best friend 7. It’s on the plate...................................................................................................................................................37 Turn her into a happy and accomplished cook. 8. Confucius says: Don’t worry – it only seems kinky the first time.. ..................45 Most wives do it – teach yours! 9. Give and take. . ...................................................................................................................................................50 Teach her how to give more and demand less. 10. Pain and suffering . ....................................................................................................................................58 How to stop her from nagging. 11. More Sex anyone?........................................................................................................................................62 Be careful what you ask for – you might get it! 12. Beware ! ................................................................................................................................................................71 - it’s not in the bag yet! 13. More sex anyone . 2 . ...............................................................................................................................78 It’s yours for the taking. 14. If you don’t know what to do . . . . . ...........................................................................................89 Every coach encounters this problem sooner or later. 15. It’s my time!.........................................................................................................................................................92 Teach her to leave you alone! Other “How to” books in this series:...................................................................................................96

www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Introduction So you want to train your wife? You want to get her to do your bidding – everything you could possibly wish for? That sounds reasonable to me! After all, what were those marriage vows all about? I’m sure you remember them! While she seems to have forgotten! And you are doing your bit, working hard, bringing home the spoils of your labour, and they are not being appreciated? That doesn’t sound right! It’s pretty easy to train your wife, once you know how, and where to start.

“

It’s pretty easy to train your wife, once you know how, and where to start.

”

Once you know what you are actually trying to achieve, and which way to go, step by step. What the right tricks to use are, what the no-no’s to avoid are. The thing is, as soon as you got married, the very next day, your wife embarked on a mission to change you, to improve you. That’s what all women do. Like there was something wrong with you! Like you were broken or something, and needed fixing.

“

. . . as soon as you got married, the very next day, your wife embarked on a mission to change you, to improve you.

”

You, on the other hand, were happy with her the way she was on her wedding day. You never wanted her to change at all. She was everything you wanted. Why mess with it? But she did change. Of course she did. All those little things she used to do for you – those are all a distant memory. She’s not the same girl any more. You want her back. If you could get her back the way she used to be, you wouldn’t have to train her at all. She used to know it all, but somehow, over the years, she forgot. You never wanted her to change at all. She was everything you wanted. Why mess with it? www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Page

 1

You changed too. Just not exactly the way she had in mind. She tried to improve on you in every aspect of your life, but you rightfully resisted, because you were not only happy with her the way she was, you were happy with yourself as well. Rightfully so. What a guy you used to be! But you did change, and not for the better. A few years later, and you are not completely happy with yourself any more. Sometimes you even hate yourself. You have become soft, you give up too easily. At times you even let her order you around. Because never mind what you do, she’s never happy with it. So why bother to argue with her? Just agree with her, shrug your shoulders, and wait for it to blow over.

“

If she would only accept you the way you are, everything would be fine and you two would never have to have another fight .....Ever

”

I know! You don’t want to fight with her over every little thing. If she would only accept you like she used to – if she would like you the way you are, everything would be fine and you two would never have to have another fight. You could both be happy. As for being happy with her, and the way she is now – let’s not talk about it too loudly. It’s too dangerous. We both know how it is. I’m married just as you are. So I understand. Let’s just say that she’s bossy, never happy with anything you do. In short – she’s full of crap! But if there was a way to bring back that lovely, bubbly, happy, loving and playful girl you married - . . . . . Let’s stop dreaming buddy, let’s do something about it. Get some action going! You have the complete “How to” manual, right there - in your hand.

“

there is a way to bring back that lovely, bubbly, happy, loving and playful girl you married

”

And I’m looking at you, and you seem to be a man of Action. My type of guy.

Start with Chapter 1. www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Page

 2

1. Be a coach, not a Ring Master It’s the 21st Century Story: When I was a little boy – (it was during the dark ages) – I used to love to go to the circus when it was in town. My aunt Lola loved to take me – it was her privilege. I never really liked the circus clowns so much – they reminded me of all the stupid situations I usually ended up in myself. You don’t want to look into the mirror – and see a clown! But I loved the Ring Master. He would just shout orders and crack his long whip and the wild beasts had to perform all sorts of tricks. He had the power, he had control! He was The Man. But those were the days before human rights, before animal rights, even before women’s rights. It was easy to crack the whip, when the poor beast had no right to a lawyer, when divorce settlements were determined chiefly by the husband’s generosity. And I don’t actually miss those old days. I miss my aunt Lola, but must admit that the world, as well as circuses, have changed for the better. In the scramble for progress, Ringmasters have been replaced by Coaches, peer reviews – and – yes – divorce lawyers. So I need to say, that in this century, if you want to train your wife, you definitely will have to be a Coach, not a Ringmaster. As for the whip and the handcuffs – we will talk about that in Chapter 8. For now, accept the fact, that if you want to train your wife, you will have to be her Coach.

“

He would just shout orders and crack his long whip and the wild beasts had to perform all sorts of tricks.

”

Which sort of brings us to the “Bad news” part of the book.

www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Page

 3

Most people tell you the good news before the bad, but in my way of thinking it’s often better to get the bad news over with as soon as you can. Get it done and over with. If you can survive that first assault, from then on it will only improve. In the training of your wife and being her coach, the bad news is, - as every other coach already knows, - the coach himself has to work much harder on the training, than his trainees. It is true, that they do all the running, jumping, ball playing, bouncing – or whatever their sport is about, but the coach is the one with all the responsibility, with all the headaches, all the planning and organising. He has to have discipline, if he is to impress some of it upon them.

“

The coach can’t say – oh – no! Not today. I have a headache!

”

He must always set a good example. Which can be a drag – let’s face it. The coach has to be on the ball all the time. He can’t relax, slack off, take it easy. He can’t ever be tired of training. He can’t say – oh – no! Not today. I have a headache, I’m too tired. He just can’t! The coach needs to be persistent, consistent, and insistent. He needs to be the best friend, the advisor, mentor, shining example. He needs to know what to do in any situation. He must be kind, but tough, demanding but fair, loved, admired and feared all at the same time. The coach is the only one who knows what is going on, what the big plan is. It’s not easy to be a coach.

“

. . . . be kind, but tough, demanding but fair, loved, admired and feared all at the same time.

”

Training a wife is no different, to training a soccer player, gymnast, opera singer, or an actress. It requires a lot of work on the part of the poor coach. You want a first class wife – sure – you can train yourself one from scratch. But to do that, you will of necessity need to be a first class coach. Luckily, - and here comes the first bit of good news - you are holding the first www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Page

 4

class coaching manual in your hand.

“

Training a wife is no different, than training a soccer player, gymnast, opera singer, or an actress.

”

And so before you start complaining – give me a few more chapters – it is not all bad. In any case – it was you who wanted to know how to train your wife. All I’m doing is providing you with step by step instructions. You could have asked me how to climb Mount Everest. After I have given you all the details, you wouldn’t say: But - it’s too difficult – would you now? It's actually not difficult to train your wife. It just takes a lot of small steps. One at a time. Just like climbing Mt. Everest.....and the view will be just as spectacular.

“

. . . you are holding the first class coaching manual in your hand.

”

This book will help you to become a renowned coach of great experience, because you will be drawing on tested and proven methods of many men, who were there before you, and who learned at their expense. You will be walking down a well trodden path. Don’t be a dork! (Dork – sex organ of a male humpback whale. Usually in excess of 200 pounds and 7 foot in length) Don’t announce to your beloved, that you have bought this new, amazing book on “How to train your wife”, and that the training will start as from tomorrow, as soon as you finished reading Chapter 1. Don’t say anything at all, if you value your life! Keep the book hidden from her. Wrap it in a cover from Hot Wheels or Shooter magazine, so that she never comes across it. Look – NOBODY likes to be “trained”. Women especially don’t like it. They don’t find it to be funny either. Remember, that she didn’t sign up for this. She is neither a volunteer, nor a conscript. She doesn’t think that she is in any need of “training”. So be crafty, slow and deliberate.

www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Page

 5

“

. . . she should at all times be under the impression that it is you, who is changing for the better, after all those years of her trying.

”

Sneak in the lessons slowly, as you are reading them. Use the thin end of the wedge first. Then – tap, tap, tap, you slowly increase the pressure. Above all, she should at all times be under the impression that it is you, who is changing for the better, after all those years of her trying to change you.

“

Remember, she never signed up for this. She is neither a volunteer, nor a conscript.

”

The principle is simple, and it’s rock solid.

Being a Coach (as opposed to the Ringmaster), you will train your wife in such a way, that she will not oppose or object to her being trained. If done properly, she will not even notice that she is being trained, and – wait for it She will actually enjoy it and think it was all her own achievement. She worked so hard at it, but it was worth it. All she needed and received was some minor help and support from her wonderful husband. That’s all. Sounds good to you? I bet it does! I mean – you are not after medals for yourself! You are a coach. What you are after, is the improved performance of your sweet and loving darling wife.

“

You must be kind, but tough, demanding but fair, loved, admired and feared at the same time.

”

Be a coach: • It isn’t easy to be a coach. It’s a lot of hard work. Taking small steps one at a time, correcting, improving, encouraging. But – hey – you can do it! www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Page

 6

You have what it takes to train you wife! The result will be well worth it! • You need to be at it all the time, you must not slack. If a coach doesn’t feel like going to the training session today, it will all go “PLOP”. • It can’t be – one thing today, completely another way tomorrow. Be Consistent. • The coach can never – must never – “not feel like it today”, let her off the hook – just this one time. Be Persistent. • It’s not enough to do it half way. Go through it with her again, and again, until it’s perfect. Be Insistent! • If the coach criticises bad performance without praising the good, his trainees will loose interest. Actually – good coach NEVER criticises. He’s more clever than that! But more of that later.

SUMMARY Problem: How to “train” someone who doesn’t even want to hear the word “training”? Solution: The days of Ringmasters with their whips are over. Today, you must be a Coach. But beware: Coaches usually need to work harder than the person they train. By the way, Ringmasters didn’t have it easy either. Many of them ended up being eaten, or at least savaged.

To purchase this entire e-book as a pdf please visit

http://www.how-to-train-your-wife.com

www.smartthinkers-ebooks.com

Page

 7