How to seduce women

March 17, 2017 | Author: adam | Category: N/A
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Brace yourself. This is where the ride begins.

The Five Senses We can never truly know reality. We have been provided with five senses in which we see the world. Sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. They are amazing tools that all at the same time allow our brain to be aware of two million pieces of information per second, yet they are still extremely limited in their ability to comprehend the real reality you live in. For example as you read this in your surrounding environment there are colors you cannot see, sounds you cannot hear, smells you cannot smell and tastes you cannot taste. That does not mean that they do not exist. It just means they are not in your conscious awareness. As humans we all live in a world in which we have common information in reality. For example if we see a dog we know it’s a dog. If we see the sky we know it’s the sky. However we also live in a world where we make our own version of reality. Whilst we all see a spider and know it’s a spider some of us will want to keep it as a pet whilst others will want to jump on a chair and scream.

Whilst we all see the same spider we don’t all see the spider in the same way. Why is this? How is it possible that two people can see the same thing but feel differently about it? Well we gain our view of the world by the way our mind takes information it gets from our five senses and gives meaning to it.

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It is through our senses that we gain the raw information that our brain uses to decide how we feel at any one moment in time. But it only uses the most important things in our environment that our senses pick up. You see we unconsciously can process two million bits of information per second. When I say unconsciously I mean we are not aware of all two million bits of information, but our unconscious mind is. Research by George A. Miller demonstrated that on a conscious level we can only be aware of what he called “seven plus-or-minus two” bits of information. In more simple terms at any one time in our head we are unconsciously processing two million bits of information about the environment around us. Consciously though we are only noticing just five to nine pieces of information about the environment we are in. The five to nine pieces of information that you are consciously aware of is highly selective. For example you may not have been aware of the tip of your nose until you read this sentence. But now you are aren’t you? Before you read that sentence the tip of your nose was just one of the two million pieces of information you are unconsciously processing at any one time. It was just not part of your conscious five to nine pieces of information. By directing your attention to it as I did then it became one of the five to nine pieces of information and entered your conscious thought process. This happens to all information in your reality from moment to moment. It makes you wonder just how much information we miss on a daily basis.

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Here is why this is important... Your unconscious mind chooses what you see in the environment around you. It chooses what you pay attention to and what to ignore. It chooses what has value to you and what doesn’t. And it does this all automatically. Studies show that 90% of human behavior is automatic. It happens without us thinking. That may make you feel a little uncomfortable, that you run on “autopilot” so much, but don’t let it. It is actually a godsend knowing this information as you will know by the end of this program. Here’s a vital thing for you to understand. The five to nine pieces of information we concentrate on are the things that our brain believes has the most VALUE to us at that moment in time. (We will be seeing the word VALUE a lot throughout this course). A theory in psychology called Gestalt-theory talks of this as ‘foreground’ and ‘background’ information. Foreground is the information selected by the unconscious as having enough value to be brought into conscious awareness in order to become one of the five to nine pieces of information we are aware of at any one time. ‘Background’ information is all other information that the senses have picked up but have chosen to not have enough value to be put into the five to seven pieces of information.

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IMPORTANT. YOUR BRAIN WILL USE YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES TO DECIDE WHAT HAS VALUE IN YOUR EVERY-DAY LIFE. IT WILL DECIDE WHAT IS ‘FOREGROUND’ AND WHAT IS ‘BACKGROUND’ INFORMATION FOR YOU. This is the same for ALL human beings. If someone walked into a room and saw a spider, and they were terrified of spiders (due to a bad past experience), this would take up their attention and focus. Their unconscious mind would bring the spider into their awareness and force them to look at it. Whereas if someone walked into a room and saw a spider but was not scared of spiders it would have no effect on them and their brain would not pick up on it. They’d only see the spider if they looked directly at it. Your brain takes your attention to where it believes there is value at that moment in time. Either in the form of gaining pleasure or moving away from pain. Let me give you an example... You walk into a bar and two girls look in your direction, then back at each other, whisper and laugh. You feel embarrassed as they are obviously talking about you. All of a sudden your entire focus has been shifted to not making yourself look stupid. Here’s what really happened... You walked into the bar as the two girls were in mid conversation. They were talking about their sex lives. The bar door opened and, like many

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people in the bar did, they turned to look to who walked in. After a quick glance at you one of them continued the conversation, whispered about how dirty she had been the night before with her boyfriend and they both laughed. Think about this for a second. They were completely unaware of you until the door opened. For a split second you shifted into their five to nine ’foreground’ awareness, and then back out again when they realized they didn’t know you. They just continued their conversation. You however think you have seen them laugh at you. They are in the foreground of your mind now and you are trying to keep cool so they don’t think you are worth laughing about any more (which in fact makes you look distinctly uncool!). The value in this situation is you don’t want to look silly.

That has value to you. What about all of the other people in the bar who didn’t react to you? Why didn’t you focus on them? Well I’ll explain this later but it all adds up to the image you have of yourself. If Tom Cruise or any other Hollywood superstar walked into the bar and saw the same thing, the two girls look over and laugh, do you think he would feel self-conscious or that the girls were laughing at him in a bad way? Hell no! He’d think “Those girls want me”. Or, even if he did think the girls were laughing at them in a negative way he would be so self-confident it wouldn’t matter. HE would have the value. Not them. We’ll come to that later. For now though I want you to understand two things about this first section.

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1. What you think you see doesn’t make your reality true. Your mind focuses on things to help you avoid pain. And it often gets things wrong. 2. Your mind consciously chooses five to nine pieces of information from your environment and brings it into your perception. It uses your past experiences to decide what has value to you.

Look, I know this is a little heavy going. But stick with me. This is truly life changing information...

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The Power of the Unconscious Mind I’m now going to explain to you the steps that the unconscious mind takes from the first moment it becomes aware of a need to consider or respond to information in the environment to the completion of its response to that information. The human brain wants to conserve energy. The brain alone needs 20% of the oxygen and calories you consume in order to function properly (This goes up in times of extreme stress and fear). In order to keep the levels of oxygen and calories it needs as low as possible the human brain has evolved to link experiences together so it learns what does need your full attention and what doesn’t. For example a mundane thing like brushing our teeth or putting on our clothes very quickly becomes an unconscious process. Once you start to do it...it just happens. You don’t have to think about it. Walking is an unconscious process too. You don’t have to think to put one leg in front of the other. On the other hand if you are walking on ice, and your safety depends on walking carefully, it then becomes a conscious thought process because your brain knows you could get hurt. So it forces you to think about it. A really drunk person walking on ice would be a lot less careful. Why? Because their thinking is now impaired on both a conscious and unconscious level. The alcohol has dulled the brains power. So the brain decides what needs your attention in your environment. And there are five steps that occur from the millisecond your unconscious mind

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notices something in the environment to when it is bought to your conscious awareness: 1. Environment This is the external event. You see, hear, touch or smell something in your environment. 2. Memory Matrix (VERY IMPORTANT) A matrix is a network that holds information. When your unconscious sees (or smells, hears etc.) something in your environment it will search in your memory for experiences you have previously had that is similar to what it is experiencing now. 3. Emotion When a match is found in the memory it generates an emotional reaction to what is happening in the environment. 4. Response Depending on the emotion and its strength, a ‘thought sequence’ and/or behavior based on the memories begins. This results in the way you feel about that environment and therefore the way you act. 5. The Evaluation This part is a killer! After an event happens your unconscious mind will either confirm or deny its validity at keeping you safe physically and mentally (which it has been programmed to do through evolution). It will think ‘that worked great, I am unscathed. I can do that again’ or ‘Blimey that was pretty bad emotionally. I must remember to try to avoid that at all costs’.

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Let’s use the example of the man walking into a bar and seeing two girls laugh in his direction as before. 1. Environment The person walks into a bar, see’s two girls look over, whisper and start laughing 2. Memory Matrix The unconscious mind picks up on this before the man is aware of it. It starts to search for memories in his mind that match the concept of girls looking at him, whispering and laughing. It finds a memory of this happening in school when he was bullied. This process happens instantly. Not in a few seconds or minutes. It happens instantly. 3. Emotion This is brought to the conscious mind and he instantly feels anxious and embarrassed. He thinks it is because of the two girls laughing at him. But the emotion is based on a past experience which was similar. 4. Response He starts to go red and feels embarrassed. He focuses on everything he is doing to ensure he doesn’t do anything else embarrassing. He becomes self-conscious and his confidence drops through the floor. He wants to get out of there! This is called a “Safety Behavior” in psychology, when you try to avoid a situation that makes you feel bad. 5. Evaluation After he’s left the bar he starts to think of what he must have done wrong

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when walking in the door. He vows that next time he’ll be thinking about the way he walks more. He’ll try to avoid eye contact next time just so he doesn’t notice any of these things that can upset him. This makes him more self-conscious next time he is in bars and his confidence gets lower and lower. Self-consciousness is the enemy of seduction. I will show you how to stop feeling self-conscious later. This type of automatic response to our environment is happening every single day of your life. Those five steps are occurring tens of thousands of times a day on an unconscious level. Most of the unconscious reactions are neither good nor bad. But some are bad. And they are based on your past experiences. Ask yourself this question: ● Are there areas of your life that scare you or make you anxious? Are there people, actions or events that you try to avoid because they make you feel uneasy? This will be because of past experiences that are similar.

Here’s the frightening thing though. Remember that what the guy thinks he saw in the bar, the two girls laughing at him, wasn’t actually what happened. The girls were not laughing at him. Even so, this memory will now be added to the memory matrix for future reference. And it is all based on a false event. IMPORTANT. The feelings we have every day are mostly based on past events. And these events may, or may not, have been true.

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If you find women intimidating, or even just lack self confidence in general, it is because of your unconscious reactions to the environment around you. And these unconscious reactions are based on experiences in your past. If you were a popular kid in school who was always surrounded by the hottest girls in your class and part of the “cool” group then the chances are you will be comfortable around beautiful women (unless something embarrassing happened that made the hot chicks laugh at you that you struggled to get over). A guy who was popular in school with women and always had women drooling over him would react differently if he walked in and saw two women laughing in his direction at the bar. He would see it as “They are talking about me. Probably because they want to sleep with me”. Either that or he wouldn’t give a shit. His unconscious mind would find positive memories of women laughing in his direction. On the other hand if, like most of us, you were not around the most beautiful girls in your school all the time then you will find beautiful women intimidating. Or even average women intimidating. Especially if you had bad experiences in school such as bullying or a particularly embarrassing event. Our youth is when our views of the world were formed. Our experiences from childhood to adulthood shape us as human beings and how we feel about ourselves and others. If you experienced something when you were a little boy that made you shy, like answering a question in class and getting laughed at, or your

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