How to Deal With Attention Workbook by Brendan Corbett

LEARNHOWTODEALWITH

PU BL I CA T T E N T I ON

WORKBOOK H o wT o C h a n g eY o u r I n t e r n a l Wo r l d

ByBr enda nCor bet t

This book, ‘Learn How To Deal With Public Attention Workbook’ is Copyright © 2010 with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book, unless you have consent from the author.

Copyright © 2010 Author: Brendan Corbett All Rights Reserved. www.dhvacademy.com

CO N T E N T S HOW YOUR MIND WORKS 1. How This Works 2. Reframing Meaning 3. How To Think The Right Way 4. Associations And Making It Stick

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APPLYING IT 5. Changing Your Beliefs 6. Your State Of Mind 7. Creating Motivation 8. Create A Confident Secure Self Image 9. Working It Together

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Contact And Feedback

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1. HOW THIS WORKS If you read through the first book, then you will know the intention of this workbook. It is to outline techniques and strategies to help redefine your internal world, so that you can think, feel and behave differently towards the external world. The first book hopefully made you realise that the external world will always remain the same. Whatever triggers our anxiety and the potential negatives like failing, rejection, criticism etc, they will always be there. Our solution is to change how we THINK, so that when these triggers or negatives occur- we do not get the same feelings or compulsions to behave in ‘fight or flight’ way. Stimulus Thinking  Feeling  Behaviour

THE SPEED OF OUR THINKING Some may still be a bit sceptical. “But Brendan, I don’t think about anything. It just happens”. To that I ask you a question: Have you ever watched a quiz show? Isn’t it amazing how quickly the contestants can almost immediately recall the answer? It only takes one word to trigger it, and within milliseconds they have it. We don’t seem to understand how quickly our brains react. Our brain can search through a whole catalogue of memories; facts; faces; experiences; words; sounds; voices; images etc, and find the right answer. That should hopefully make you aware of how sharp our brains can be. So, yes, when you have your experience, your brain will have an automatic wired ‘trigger’ that makes you feel and react in a certain way (or in the quiz show example- have the answer...hopefully). It’s unconscious. That is why we need to step in consciously, break down our thinking patterns, and see what is really going on and gain some awareness.

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THE COMPUTER-BRAIN METAPHOR The strategies I refer to in this book are from a field known as ‘NLP’. ‘Neuro Linguistic Programming’. If you have not heard of it, then I will simply say that it is basically a manual for how our brains work. It is similar to a computer. As I’m typing this, I’m punching down keys and they come up on the screen. The keys are programmed to come up with the letters. In between me pressing it and it coming up on screen (although it seems instant) it is passing through the electronics and wiring in my laptop. The keys are PROGRAMMED to do that. But somebody could come to my laptop and change the programming and switch around the wires. So, when I press the keys, they no longer come up as letters anymore; they come up as something different. Programmed: Press key  Wiring  Letter appears We want to do that with our thinking. We are “programmed” in a similar fashion. The bit in between the “press key” and “see letter” is like our thinking; it seems instant, but we do logically know that there is something there. Our Program: Trigger  Thinking  Reaction Our triggers are obviously different, but they are PROGRAMMED to react in a certain way. Sometimes our wires get programmed to react in the wrong way. For instance, you don’t want to feel nervous or anxious in certain situations; but you “can’t help it”. However, if we change the wiring (thinking) inside, then when we experience that same trigger, we have programmed ourselves to react differently. It’s the same experience, just like the action of pressing the keyboard is the same- only our thinking is directed somewhere else; the “wiring” directs our thoughts in a different direction.

A BIT FAR FETCHED? Does it sound a bit bizarre to you? Realistically though, it isn’t bizarre at all. We are simple humans when it comes down to it. We are not as complex as we make out. We are stimulus-response animals. However, we

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have the added advantage of stepping in and THINKING about it to change our responses to the same stimulus. For example, when a wildebeest sees a lion- it doesn’t stand around and think it through. They respond! They run like hell. That’s the instinctive wiring in all wildebeests (the smart ones anyway). But humans are diverse. That is why we can all experience the same stimulus, but we can respond in different ways. We all see and experience the same world. The only difference then is our conditioning and thinking; our programming.

PROGRAMMING OUR THINKING So imagine how this would work for us being able to program our thinking. If something TRIGGERS you to feel nervous, or anxious, or in a way you don’t like, you can experience that same TRIGGER and program yourself to feel confident, comfortable, and relaxed. (By the continual use of the word ‘program’ I hope you don’t think I’m relating to you as a computer.)

Programming isn’t as difficult or as complicated as you may assume. People do it all the time, but they are not aware of it. A lot of our programming happens without being conscious of it. After all, you can’t just stop and say, “I’m going to start to feel confident with this now”. It doesn’t work logically and through language alone. It needs to be felt. That’s how our bodies communicate. For example, if somebody has a bad relationship experience. After that one painfully felt experience, they then sabotage every other possible relationship. They cancel on dates. They dare not approach people they like. They get close, and then they push away. That’s a programmed response; and probably one they didn’t choose. A lot of the times in that circumstance people say, “I just wish I could be close to somebody again- but I just can’t”. Logically, they want to be different, but it seems their bodies and AUTO PROGRAMMED RESPONSE has taken over.

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So they will probably end up going to therapy to talk about their issues. It’s unfortunate, but that is the way it is for people who do not consciously try to learn the methods and take control over their thinking. And in this ‘Workbook’ I will be giving you details on how to do just that.

IS “PROGRAMMING” DIFFICULT? It isn’t difficult when you know the crucial factors that make it work. One of the beliefs in NLP is that we all learn quickly. Think of how quickly a brain learns to fear something to develop phobias. It doesn’t need telling twice! And you will keep reacting to that fear unless you intervene and teach yourself a new way to respond. If it can learn this quickly, we can also use it to our advantage. The only difference now is that we are conscious of it. Conscious change is not so difficult. We usually know what we want; we just don’t know the internal strategies to align with what we want and make it happen. That’s like wanting to do a painting without paint. That is why a lot of the time people feel hopeless. They have everything they need; they just can’t PROGRAM themselves to use their internal resources in the right context. Then they feel lost and give up. Just what exactly goes on in our mind to make us react to the world the way we do?

You should be able to “wire” the resources you need any time you want. If you read the chapter about ‘Context’ in the other book, you will know you have them there for you. Confidence is a resource. You can wire and PROGRAM yourself to call on that resource whenever the context or situation requires it. We should be able to have the freedom to feel and behave how we want to. Isn’t that what holds us back most of the time? Nobody wants to do anything that makes them FEEL anxious; at least not by choice. When it doesn’t feel right, then we don’t take the action. It’s that simple.

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In short, it isn’t difficult to “program” a new response (thinking pattern, feeling and behaviour). You just need to know the RIGHT way of doing it. It doesn’t need years of therapy or counselling to change your responses. We just look at the methods and patterns of people who have done it. We model success. A person who had a bad relationship experience may one day be in a relationship again. After years of going by their programmed response, what made them change? What made them go against it and give it another shot? That is the MOMENT and the PROCESS we want to learn on a conscious level.

THE IMPORTANT FACTORS If we can’t TALK ourselves into doing something, then there must be some different approach we need to make a change. Most people already have an idea of what they want in their mind. That’s the first step. But getting from where they are, to where they want to be, is the middle bit we need to work on. I touched on these factors in the other book. When all change occurs, there are only a couple of factors necessary to make it happen. Some people use the method of time. They wait and wait until, one day, they just change. But when they changed, something happened. Maybe it was a collection of experiences that played on their mind and it became too much. Either way, these were involved: 1. They had a strong enough reason to change. 2. They believed they would be better with the change. 3. They felt they couldn’t stay how they are. That could easily be concluded by assessment and evaluating the situation. But underneath you can’t talk yourself into something.

Try This: Put your hand on the table, look at your index finger, and tell it to move.

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You won’t be able to do it. It shows we cannot TALK bodies into doing something. We can evaluate, but talk is not the key.

That is, unless you are evaluating in the RIGHT way. This involves the crucial factor: Emotional Intensity And Feeling When people evaluate these options and experiences, they don’t realise it, but they are conjuring up FEELINGS within themselves. If they constantly think about it and come to the conclusion it makes them feel bad, they will say “never again!” When the person decided to get back into a relationship, they probably didn’t realise they were thinking about being alone, and they FELT it. They did this over and over again with feeling, and it became so overwhelming that they knew they couldn’t keep feeling that way. We need to be able to FEEL when we think, and we do that with the methods in this workbook. We have to think in a constructed way that brings a feeling to the surface. This way, it won’t just be an evaluation and talk. It will be using the same communication our body and brain use. And when we get the feelings, we repeat them to create the new wiring.

WHY REPETITION IS IMPORTANT I’m sure we all get to work or college in the same way every day. It’s the same routine and process. We don’t even think about it anymore, we just do it. Only one time we have to get off half way and stop off somewhere. However, we get into the routine on that morning, and we completely forget about getting off! The reason is because we were so CONDITIONED and PROGRAMMED to stick to the routine of going on that route. Branching off required us to be ready, but we were just so caught up in our programmed routine. With repetition (as with the routine) it wires us up. It makes it an automatic thing for us. We are wired right now to respond in certain ways, which is why we need to consciously intervene and change the direction, so that we don’t always end up in the same place. In our case, this “place” is the way we feel and our behaviours. 1. How This Works

This means that evaluation is fine, but we can’t talk ourselves to do it, not unless we have a “Eureka” moment. Programming and change then involves:

1. Reason And Strong Desire To Change 2. The Right Way For Thinking Instead Of Just Evaluation And Talk 3. Emotional Intensity And Feeling 4. Repetition For A New Wired/Programmed Response

Achieve them, and you achieve change. And the collection of strategies throughout this book will guide you with the process of making it work for you, so you can apply it to your personal situation.

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CONTACT AND FEEDBACK If you wish to purchase this book along with the other book, then Go To The Page If you wish to contact me personally, you can by contacting me through my personal email... [email protected] If you have any feedback or questions about the book, then email: [email protected] Or you could go to the Contact Page. I’ll be happy to help you in any way I can. Thank You

Brendan Corbett