How to Build Instant Rapport

How to Build Instant Rapport - June 13th, 2007 Rapport is the ultimate key to selling. If you’ve got great rapport with customers, they’ll naturally want to buy from you, and every customer meeting tends to be more productive. If rapport is weak, every meeting is awkward and difficult, and making a sale becomes next to impossible. The foundation of rapport is the first impression. If you’re like most sales pros, you use some kind of icebreaker during that initial meeting to overcome the social awkwardness inherent in any face-to-face meeting between strangers. Unfortunately, the two most common icebreakers are ineffective when it comes to moving a sale forward. WRONG. A common icebreaker is throw out a neutral compliment about something in the prospect’s office, such as the family photo, the motivational poster on the wall, the view out the window, etc. That’s a dumb move because almost everybody who comes into that office for the first time has made that exact same remark. You just told the customer that you’re unimaginative and boring. WRONG. Another common icebreaker is to make a reference to something in the news, like a big win by a local sports team or a major world event. That’s a bit better, because if you truly share the same values and interests as the prospect, you’re on the way to building rapport. However, the rapport you’re building has nothing to do with the reason for your sales call. When you transition to “selling,” there will a jarring disconnect that leaves the customer with the impression that you were only kissing up. The biggest problem with these two icebreakers is that they suggest you haven’t bothered to do any research on the customer and are simply “winging it.” (Which — let’s be honest about this — is probably the case) RIGHT. Here’s a better approach, adapted from some pointers I got a couple of years ago from Dr. Earl Taylor, a master trainer for Dale Carnegie: * Step 1. Warm Initial Greeting. Deliver your initial greeting with the same graciousness and warmth that you would use to greet an honored guest in your home. When you welcome guests, you are typically glad to see them and you want them to feel comfortable and appreciated. The trick to delivering a warm greeting is to be truly grateful that you have this opportunity to meet the prospect and to be of service. * Step 2. Relevant Opening Line. Open the conversation with a remark that lets the prospect know that you have put some thought into the prospect and the prospect’s firm. Needless to say, this requires that you do some research prior to the meeting. At the very least, you should have checked the Internet for an overview of the prospect’s business and for any important biographical information about the prospect and prospect’s career. * Step 3. Natural Follow-Through. Continue with a question about the business or the individual that leads towards a productive conversation that moves the meeting to the next sales step. This is a natural segue because you’ve already placed the conversation in a business context, while still showing a interest in the customer. What’s more, you’re not wasting the customer’s time with remarks that have no relevance to your business relationship. Here are some examples: Customer: IT Manager. Initial Greeting: “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the opportunity to have a conversation with you.” Opening line: “I was on the web learning more about your company and I came across a keynote speech that you gave at a recent conference. What kind of response did you get? Follow-through: “I’m not surprised it was well received because my firm has been working in this field for the past ten years and we know how vital these issues are. What progress have you been able to make addressing them inside your own shop?” Customer: CEO Initial Greeting: “I’m so glad that we have the opportunity to meet and I’ll be brief because we’re both busy people.

Opening line: “I noticed from your bio that you used to work in a different industry. What was the biggest challenge that you faced, as an executive, moving into this line of business?” Follow-through: “That’s really interesting. You know, I’ve often thought that the kind of alliances that are common in that industry would make sense in our industry as well. If we were to forge a strategic alliance between our two firms, how would could we craft it so that both firms achieved their goals more quickly?” Customer: Warehouse Manager Initial Greeting: “I really appreciate that you’re taking the time to meet with me when things are clearly so hectic.” Opening line: “I’ll bet one of the reasons that you’re so busy is that you’re getting ready for that big reorganization that was announced last week.” Follow-through: “I had an idea of how my company might help you reduce inventory. When the new management looks at your department, how will they determine whether your inventory is running efficiently?”

Basic Techniques for Building Rapport !! - April 10th, 2007

Rapport building is the single most important aspect of our communication . In fact,all communication efforts can get futile if we do not have a rapport with our team members. Here is a nice article on "Basic Techniques for Building Rapport" from the web pages of dummies.com . I hope all of you will like it. ":":":":":": ":":":":" :":":":": ":":":":" :":":": Having rapport as the foundation for any relationship means that when there are tough issues to discuss, you can more easily find solutions and move on. Fortunately, you can learn how to build rapport. Rapport happens at many levels. You can build rapport all the time through: 

The places and people you spend time with The way you look, sound, and behave

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The skills you have learned

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The values that you live by

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Your beliefs

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Your purpose in life

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Being yourself

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Seven quick ways to sharpen your rapport For starters, try some immediate ways to begin building rapport:  

Take a genuine interest in getting to know what's important to the other person. Start to understand them rather than expecting them to understand you first. Pick up on the key words, favourite phrases and way of speaking that someone uses and build these subtly into your own conversation.

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Notice how someone likes to handle information. Do they like lots of details or just the big picture? As you speak, feed back information in this same portion size.

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Breathe in unison with them.

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Look out for the other person's intention — their underlying aim — rather than what they do or say. They may not always get it right, but expect their heart to lie in the right place.

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Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed.

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Respect the other person's time, energy, favourite people and money. They will be important resources for them.

The communication wheel and rapport building Classic research looked at how live communication was received and responded to. His figures suggested that your impact depends on three factors — how you look, how you sound, and what you say. His research broke it down as illustrated in the communication wheel here: 55 per cent body language, 38 per cent quality of the voice and 7 per cent actual words spoken. Clearly, first impressions count. Do you arrive for meetings and appointments hot and harassed or cool and collected? When you begin to talk, do you mumble your words in a low whisper to the floor or gaze directly and confidently at your audience before speaking out loud and clear? In terms of building rapport — you are the message. And you need all parts of you working in harmony: words, pictures, and sounds. If you don't look confident — as if you believe in your message — people will not listen to what you are saying. Rapport involves being able to see eye-to-eye with other people, connecting on their wavelength. So much (93 per cent) of the perception of your sincerity comes not from what you say but how you say it and how you show an appreciation for the other person's thoughts and feelings. When you are in rapport with someone, you can disagree with what they say and still relate respectfully with him or her. The important point to remember is to acknowledge other people for the unique individuals that they are. For example, you may well have different political or religious views to your colleagues or clients, but there's no need to fall out about it. It's also likely that there are several choices about what's favourite to eat for supper and you can agree to differ with your family on that one, too. Hold on to the fact that you simply wish to differ with their opinion and this is no reflection on the person. A person is more than what they say, do, or believe. Matching and mirroring When you are out and about in bars and restaurants, have you noticed how two

people look when there's rapport between them? Without hearing the details of the conversation you can see it's like a dance. People naturally move in step with each other. There's a sense of unison in their body language and the way they talk — elegantly dovetailing their movements and speech. NLP calls this matching and mirroring. By contrast, think of a time when you've been the unwilling witness to an embarrassingly public argument between a couple, or a parent and child in the street or supermarket. Even with the volume turned off, you soon feel what it's like when people are totally out of synchronisation with each other just from their body posture and gestures. NLP calls this mismatching. Matching and mirroring are ways of becoming highly tuned in to how someone else is thinking and experiencing the world. It's a way of listening with your whole body. Simple mirroring happens naturally when you have rapport. What NLP suggests is that you can also deliberately match and mirror someone to build rapport until it becomes natural. To do this, you will need to match: 

Voice tonality (how you sound) or speed Breathing rates

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Rhythm of movement and energy levels

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Body postures and gesturesv

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Beware the fine line between mimicry and moving in rhythm with someone. People instinctively know if you are making fun of them or being insincere. If you decide you'd like to check out mirroring for yourself, do it gradually in no-risk situations or with somone you'll never see again. Don't be surprised though if it works and the strangers want to become your friends! Pacing to lead Building great relationships requires that you pace other people. NLP compares pacing people to running alongside a train. If you tried to jump straight on to a moving train, it's likely you'd fall off. In order to jump on a moving train you would have to gather speed by racing alongside it until you were moving at the same speed before you could jump on. In order to lead somebody, to influence them with your point of view, remember to pace them first. This means really listening to them, fully acknowledging them, truly understanding where they have come from — and being patient about it.

Additional important advice from NLP to build rapport is to: Pace … pace … and pace again before you … lead. Pacing is how NLP describes the your flexibility to respectfully pick up and match other people's behaviours and vocabulary, where you are actively listening to the other person. Leading is when you are attempting to get the other person to change by subtly taking them in a new direction. In business, companies that succeed in introducing major change programmes do so in measured steps. This allows changes to gradually become accepted by employees. People are unwilling to be led to new ways of working until they have first been paced — listened to and acknowledged. The most effective leaders are those who pace their people's reality first. Watch effective salespeople in action and you'll see how they master the art of pacing the customer and demonstrate genuine interest. They listen, listen, and listen some more about what the customer's needs are, what they really want, before trying to sell them anything. People resent being sold to, but they love to be listened to and to talk about what's important to them. Building rapport in virtual communication Virtual teams who hold virtual meetings have entered the workplace. We have also the phenomenon of virtual management, of multi-cultural project teams that sit across global networks and work remotely thanks to the technology — conference calls, email and video-conferencing. In this environment of reduced face-to-face contact, you lose the nuances of facial expressions, the body language and subtlety of getting to know the colleague at the next desk as you work closely with others. At its best, the virtual team spells freedom and flexibility of working practices, diversity, and a richness of skills. At its worst, it's lonely, isolated, and ineffective. For all, the challenge of virtual working to build rapport is greater than before. Little wonder that people are being recruited more for soft skills — the ability to influence and negotiate — than for technical competence. Following are ways to develop rapport over the phone and teleconferences.  

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Make sure that all the locations are connected and can hear each other on the phone. Introduce and welcome people with a roll call. Work to a clear agenda. Set outcomes for the call and agree these with all participants. Check you've had input from a mix of people. If necessary, encourage the quieter individuals to take part. Say, for example: 'Mike, what are your thoughts on this?'

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Discourage small talk or separate chats at different sites. One discussion, one meeting, one agenda.

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Speak more slowly and precisely than in face-to-face meetings. Remember you can't get clues from the body language.

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Listen for the style of language and match your language style to theirs.

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Get attention before making your point (otherwise the first part of the message gets lost). Begin with phrases like: 'I have something I'd like to mention here… it's about…'

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Use people's names more than in face-to-face meetings. Address questions to people by name and thank them for their contribution by name.

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As you listen to the conversation, visualise the person at the other end of the phone line (you may even like to have a photo of them in front of you).

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Continually summarise and check understanding of points and decisions.

Re: Basic Techniques for Building Rapport !! - April 10th, 2007 Improving Your Communication with NLP One of the major contributions NLP has made to personal development and life enhancement is its applications to communication both internal and external. NLP offers many practical techniques to allow us to engage in more meaningful interactions with those around us by limiting many of the barriers to effective communication. This article will look at some of the ways NLP can enhance our communication skills specifically with others, and in doing so enhance the quality of our lives. Called Neuro LINGUISTIC programming for a reason, NLP is focused on the language patterns involved in the way we communicate with ourselves and others. Language patterns, specifically the words we use and how we use them have a profound effect on our experience of every day life. When we have an experience of any kind, then we give a label to that experience, the label, or the words we use BECOME the experience. For example, you return from a day at Disneyland and someone asks you how it was. You might answer it was awesome, fantastic, thrilling, scary, exciting, fun, heart pumping or crazy... whichever word you choose to describe the experience, IS the experience. Say you chose 'scary'. Really the word 'scary' isn't anything, it's just a combination of letters. But at the same time scary is a feeling, a set of thoughts and mental imagery that is associated to that combination of letters. Think of this: Imagine if you didn't know the word scary? For some reason it had been omitted from your vocabulary, or you'd never heard it said as a child. Would you know how to be 'scared'? It's reported that some small island nations don't have a word for 'war'... Imagine how that affects their way of life! ...the words we use and how we use them have a profound effect on our experience of every day life. Words cause chemical reactions in our minds. The things we say or hear Words cause chemical reactions in our minds. The things we say or hear said to us, particularly the words that they are said in, cause us to feel certain ways about things and react in certain ways to certain circumstances. How do you answer when someone asks "How are you?" Do you mindlessly reply "Fine" or "Ok". How do you feel when you say that? How do you feel after you have said it? What if you replied "Phenomenal!", "Really superb", or "Fantastic"? Do you think you would feel

differently? Two people can have the same experiences day to day, but one can label them "ok" and one can call them "Awesome" and as a consequence one person will FEEL awesome and one will physically feel OK. Do you see the power of words yet? If not, think about it in a more external communication type context. Say someone has just given you their opinion on something and you reply "I'm not sure I agree"... Do you think this would make the person feel differently to if you said "You’'re WRONG". Both replies have indicated the same meaning... you don't agree with them, but the words used create dramatically different reactions and so greatly influence the interaction between the two people. Ok, ok you get it, words influence how we feel. So how can this knowledge help us in our communication with others? Another significant aspect of NLP in relation to communication with others is the use of what are called Meta Models. There are certain patterns of speech that limit the way a message is communicated to a listener. If we are aware of these patterns we can, as a listener, use our communication to clarify someone's true meaning and more effectively understand their perspectives. Some examples of these communication patterns are: Universal Quantifiers Are words like "always" and "never". When someone says always or never they almost never (see how common these are) mean them literally, but when they say them they create the chemical reaction in their brains that would occur as if it really were ALWAYS or NEVER. For example I'm talking to Susie about her husband Jim and she says "Jim never does anything romantic with me". While it very likely isn't the case that he NEVER does, by using that language pattern she physically FEELS like she would feel if he NEVER did. I can better understand Susie's feelings better here by questioning "Always?" To which she will usually reply, "well not ALWAYS but I can't remember the last time he did!" Already I have a better understanding of the situation and at the same time, Susie now feels less emotionally intense about the situation because she has described it differently and so she is in a state that is more conducive to effective communication. Comparisons Are words like "better", 'worse", "best", "badly". The problem with these words is when they are used we invariable miss out the part of the sentence that puts the comparison in context. For example "I could have done so much better", raises the question "Better than what?" Whose standard are you using for comparison? Is it yours or someone else's? How reasonable really is the statement that includes the comparison? And yet when it is used it creates an emotional intensity that prevents the speaker from thinking clearly about the situation. When you hear someone using a comparison like this it is best to establish the context for the comparison by asking "Better than what?" and "Worse than who?" to gain greater understanding of the message being communicated. Making Judgments Judgments are statements that indicate an opinion or fact. Things like "John isn't very sociable" are considered judgments. These statements are usually taken as fact by most listeners when in fact they can be rather misleading. Whose opinion is it that John isn't sociable? And on what criteria is this based? Unless these factors are established, the statement "John isn't very sociable" doesn't really hold any weight. Again by establishing whose opinion the judgments are and the reason it has been established, a better ground for effective communication is established. Complex Equivalence This is a statement that assumes a relationship between two events that might not (and very likely doesn't) exist. Here's an example: "John doesn't like me". "How do you know that John doesn't like you?" "He always says hello to everyone else in the room before me." This statement assumes a complex equivalence that John saying hello to you last is equivalent to him not liking you. Of course you have never asked him if that is the case so this might well be an incorrect

assumption. The way to clarify these is by asking "How does this mean that?" and "How does John not saying hello to you first mean that he doesn't like you?" These are just a few of the subtle factors that can influence the effectiveness of communication between people. You probably notice that they apply equally as much in internal communication. You might diffuse some emotional intensity within yourself by realizing that the reason you are angry with that person is because you think he NEVER does what he is supposed to. Upon asking yourself "Never?" you will see the situation differently, lessen the intensity of your emotional state and be better able to come up with a positive solution. by: ANDREW HANSEN source: http://www.earthlingcommunication.co...amming-nlp.php