Handbook for girls Alicia Casiraghi
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Te conseillerais-je de foutre, si j’´etais ton amant ? Non, non, Juliette, je ne le suis pas, je ne le serai jamais. Ne redoute donc rien de mon inconstance ; si je viens jamais `at’abandonner, toi seule en seras devenue la cause ; continuede te bien conduire, sers toujours mes plaisirs avec activit´e ;que chaque instant me developpe en toi de nouveaux vices ;porte avec moi, dans l’int´erieure, la soumission jusqu’`a la bassesse ; plus tu ramperas a mes pieds, plus par l’orgueil je te ferai r´egner sur les autres ; qu’aucune faiblesse surtout, qu’aucun remords, quelle que soit la chose que j’exige de toi, ne se montre jamais `a mes yeux, et je te rendrai la plus heureuse des femmes, comme tu m’auras rendu le plus fortun´e des hommes. D. A. F. de Sade Histoire de Juliette ou Les prosp´erit´es du vice
Translated: Would I recommend you to let yourself be fucked, if I was your lover? No, no, Juliette, I will not and I never will. So don't be afraid of my fickleness; if I would ever decide to leave you only you would have been the cause of that; behave yourself, work for my pleasure, so I may uncover new sins within you; feed me, from inside, with your submission until the lowest humiliation; the more you will crawl at my feet, the more proud I will let you be over others; and above all do not show me any weaknesses , no remorse, whatever it is I may desire of you, I will make you the happiest woman of all, and me the happiest man. D. A. F. de Sade Juliette, or Vice Amply Rewarded
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Table of contents 1. Introduction 1.1 Submissive desires 1.2 Past the fantasy 2. What do you have to offer? 2.1 Your body 2.1.1 Face 2.1.2 Figure and posture 2.1.3 Breasts 2.1.4 Butt 2.1.5 Pussy 2.1.6 Legs 2.1.7 Hands 2.1.8 Feet 2.1.9 Jewelry 2.1.10 Piercings and tattoos 2.1.11 Clothes 2.1.12 Shoes and Boots 2.1.13 Perfume 2.2 Your character 2.2.1 Female characteristics 2.2.2 Character development 2.2.3 Fifteen mistakes 2.2.4 How do you see yourself? 3. Searching for a dominant man 3.1 What is a dominant man? 3.2 Where do you find a dominant man? 3.3 Meeting in company 3.4 An old friend, or a new 'master'? 3.5 In an existing relationship 3.6 Experiment 3.7 On your knees 3.8 A relationship with a dominant man 3.9 What to tell others? 4. Sexual skills 4.1 General rules
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4.2 Exposing yourself 4.2.1 Kneeling, crawling, walking and standing 4.2.2 Offering yourself 4.2.3 Masturbation 4.2.4 Photo's and video's 4.3 Massages 4.4 Bondage 4.5 Blowjobs and licking 4.6 Getting fucked 4.6.1 Positions 4.7 Anal sex 4.8 Spanking and humiliation 4.9 Sex with girls 4.10 Sex with other men and groupsex 5. Discipline 5.1 Obey and taking initiative 5.2 Punishment 5.2.1 Over the knee 5.2.2 The belt, the whip, the cane 5.2.3 Deprivation 5.2.4 Punishment assignments 5.3 After the punishment 6. Final word 7. Appendix: Recommended literature
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Foreword Perhaps a handbook for men would have been more in place, then a handbook for girls, since it are usually men, and not women, who let it down. It's not the women, since they are most of the time the ones who desire a man taking control, and making them submit to a man. But there are too many men out there, in with whom the idea doesn't even rise in their minds. The author though didn't have any desires to direct its attention to men. A man who's missing the right instincts to be more dominant, is hard to change, and the result is often not very convincing, most of the time even more ridiculous. Every girl on the other hand, can, if she let's go of certain prejudices and faces her deepest desires, develop the mentality and skills to make herself more attractive in the eyes of the rare amount of men who know what they want. This handbook is not suited for everyone. It is written for girls from 16 years and older, who are smart and critical enough, to distillate what is right for them. Whoever get's nervous from explicit language, dominant men, or her own fantasies, has every right to pass on this book unread.
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1. Introduction What does a 'girl of the third millennium' want? She knows she has a free choice. She is no longer a second-class citizens, but have conquered a position in society equal to those of men. She knows she is not dependent on men for their money and safety. She can take care of her own, and lead her own life. That is all really nice and all, but what does she desire? What does she think about during a boring class or exam? What does she fantasize about when she masturbates on the toilet, during her work? Usually not about a caring lover, who politely asks her if may fuck her, but about a man simply taking her. Not about a shy boy, who patiently eats her pussy, until she had her sixth orgasm, but about a man who forces her head down onto his cock, as she's gasping for air. She doesn't dream about the power and control of her pussy, not even about the pleasure, but about her submission. She desires a man who can take her, who disciplines her, who punishes her if she fails. Is that contradiction, between society and sexual submission a problem? For some girls it is. Because the equality of sexes is a modern dogma pretending to be female sexuality, which in reality is submission and sluttiness on itself, is something of a modern 'sin'. But there's also another way to look at it, another perspective. Even in a girls own sex-life, there's more freedom then girls had half a century ago. Girls and women now can follow their own instincts. In past times, a woman was expected to obey constantly, both in bed and out of bed, now she can be an attorney, business woman, truck driver, and during the nights a sexslave to her husband, or the free little whore of one of her lucky lovers. A girl had, not too long ago, wait and see, until she met the 'man of her life', or until her parents found a suitable candidate for her, to find out he wasn't any good in bed at all. Now she can look around, experiment, and discover herself what she likes. Which is often something different from what feminists tell us.
1.1 Submissive desires Where does this desire from women to be sexually submitted come from? Perhaps it's the result of the physical differences between man and women, like Freud once suggested. A consequence of the sexual act. A translation of the inevitable emotional aspect of the different roles between man and women, in where the man enters the woman. Or perhaps the cause lies within the earliest role divisions, when the strength in a situation was vital in the relationship between men and women. The sexual act was violent event, in where the female was literally overpowered. If after that, there developed an emotional bond, that was a nice side-effect, but it was not the goal. Certainly this emotional bond wouldn't have been there during the first sexual act, which really was more like a rape. The physical sexual act was more important, then the emotional feelings. And it is possible, that this is the reason why women connect love and submission with each other. A girl wants to be 'taken', and men are still talking about 'taking' or 'owning' a girl, when they talk about fucking. Whatever the reason is, practically each girl, if she doesn't deny it for herself, would have to confess this is really what she wants: a man who expresses his love for her, by owning her. Who acts out his every desires and wishes with her, without any romantic excuses. In short: who uses her like a lust object.
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1.2 Past the fantasy When in the 70's the first researches where done on the erotic fantasies of women, results uncovered many women had fantasies, imagined and wondered how it would be like, to be raped. It seemed like a denial to everything feminism stood for, but that was only appearance, since the those fantasies don't imply that women would want to be forced into doing things they don't want to. They don't want to be raped. In fact, it meant something entirely different. Because by inheriting the role of victim in their fantasies, every girl could imagine and fantasize about having sex with a man who was in control, and does with her whatever he wants. This way, she doesn't need to be merge her real life, with her fantasies, causing to damage herself respect and independence. It stayed intact, while she could act out every deep, hidden desire, in her fantasies. A girl who faces and accepts her masochistic and submissive desires however, doesn't need to make this detour to this rape fantasy. She doesn't feel guilty about what she wants, and therefore doesn't need to picture the dominant man in her life, as a faceless criminal. She knows that she decides who she submits to. But not every girl meets a man who uncovers her submissive desires, and who is able to handle and act on those. Some women will avoid those men their entire lives. And not every girl succeeds to meet the right man, who can show her to put aside those prejudices, and make her crawl like the submissive girl she really is. It takes a lot of courage to admit it. It therefore are often the strong, independent women who dare it, and who discover the contradictions between their social emancipation and their sexual submissive desires, to be a theoretical problem, rather than a reality. Their strive for equal rights for women, as the feministic movement tells us, has to express itself even in their sex-life. But different from what the feminists tell us and wants to admit, this sexual freedom for women means they eventually end up choosing to submit themselves to their erotic desires of a dominant man.
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2. What do you have to offer? In the first place, being a girl, you are of course a lust object to men. Of course you are far more than just that, but in first place, that is what you are. It's not fair, or justice, it's just a fact. You can resist to this, by refusing to make yourself pretty, and by acting to be as 'masculine' as possible, but once you will understand what you really want, you will want to look good, to walk, talk and smile etc., in a certain way, that attracts the attention of certain men. Those men who, who want female women, women who enjoy being females. We will first talk about bodily care, clothing and finally your character.
2.1 Your body There has been much research, as to what a man first notices about a woman. Many men look at the face, breasts, and butt of women, of pretty much every woman below 60. Dominant men often look in a different way, and we will lay out where you will need to focus on, if you want to attract them.
2.1.1 Face Your face shows you who you are. You judge yourself other people, by looking at their faces as well. It therefore is nothing but logical that is where you spend most of your attention to. Your skin, lips, teeth. You don't leave the door, without first fixing your hair and adding some make-up. Remind yourself, that adding rouge, lipstick, mascara etc., are meant to make it look like you are sexually turned on: you're blushing, your lips are full and moist, your eyes twinkling. So it's important not to overdo it, with unnatural colors, hard lines, with some exceptions of course, and even then only if you add in some irony. Traditionally women have long hair, but these days of course anything is possible. However, long hair is still considered to be feminine, and many men enjoy grabbing the hair while they're fucking you, or having you suck their cock. Even when you are just walking on the streets, long hair gets associated with that. A man who wants to look at your face, needs to have the ability to do that. It means that you shouldn't stare back at him, while he is checking you out. Look at him, so he knows that you know he is watching you, then lower your gaze towards the floor. By doing so, you can express that you are willing and prepared to kneel to the floor for the right man. You can express both your willingness and your submissive nature with it. If you are dealing with a man you are not interested in, you can always switch to the striking stare, saying: 'Leave me alone'. Your first look is however, without exception inviting to a dominant man, who sees in it your desires to be submitted.
2.1.2 Figure and posture Even though you might have a perfect body, if your posture isn't right, it is useless. 'Watching your figure', isn't just about staying in shape, but also about how you stand, walk, sit and lay in an elegant, present, female manner. Elegance is something you can learn. Look around you, study how elegant women do it, how they move, and copy it. If you stand for instance, keep your back and neck straight, pull your shoulders back, and tilt your pelvis, making your butt push out a little. When you walk, put your feet direct in front of the other feet, like you are walking an imaginary line, and sway your hips, which you
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are already doing by default, a little bit more. When you sit, don't cross your legs, but put your feet next to each other, and make sure your knees are an inch apart. Wearing high heels, once you get the hang of it, automatically ensures a better posture, and a more female way of walking. Try to be conscious of what you are showing when you walk on a street, are in company of friends, at work, school, anywhere. Even when you're alone, try to remind yourself about it. Imagine someone's looking at you, even when you're getting home tired, or are alone under the shower. This will result that after some time, the right posture, and a female way of moving, will become something you will do naturally.
2.1.3 Breasts A lot of women worry about their breasts, and wonder if they're not too small, too big, or different in size. This is nothing to be worried about. All breasts are lovely, no matter what size, as long as their shape remains. They shouldn't 'hang', but if they don't, it really is okay. By doing the right exercises, and giving your breasts a cold shower, after you're showered, you can ensure your breasts will remain firm. Wear tops, sweaters, blouses, which bring out your breasts. If they are firm enough, you can wear it without a bra. Ensure there is a little bit of cleavage every now and then, but don't make it too vulgar. If a man, with whom you are not in a sexual relationship with, gets exposed to your breasts, because for instance because he can look at your breasts when you bend over, through the cleavage of your blouse, always make it look like an 'accident'. Breasts which have hard nipples, suggests sexual arousal, especially when the perk through the fabric of a blouse or a top they draw in attention. You can make your nipples more sensitive, making them hard spontaneously, by massaging them while you masturbate, and squeezing them. There are men who are attracted to breasts. Those are almost never dominant men, because a heightened interest in breast, is a expression of a childish sexual interpretation. Breasts are the symbol of women as a mother, and are hardly connected to the sexual act in any way. Dominant, sexually, mature men, have let go of their mother a long while ago, and will focus more on your butt, then your breasts.
2.1.4 Butt The words cunt and butt aren't resembling by accident to each other. In French the word for 'butt' is 'cul', and 'con' means 'cunt', almost as if these two words could have traded places. And that's pretty much what it comes down to. Your pussy is not in front, like the church wants us to believe, but on your behind, like with most other mammals. The most natural position to have sex in, is therefore 'doggy-style', because that way you are most accessible, and easiest to be controlled. Almost all animals mate in that way. Only when you're nude, and spread your legs, or bend over, your pussy is visible. In all other positions, only your ass is a visible reference to your pussy. That is why swaying your hips when you walk, automatically draws attention to your butt, but, in reality also on their pussy, which they cannot display. Often your pussy also gets replaced with your butt literal, when you do anal sex. There are few men who don't take pleasure in it, and it's also the reason why your butt gets so much attention. It is important your butt is firm and round. A flat butt doesn't hold much good in store in bed. Your butt has to be able to catch the impact of a man's thrust when he's fucking you, and therefore has to literally look like it can 'take a bump'. Some men are attracted to girls with small hips (and therefore also a smaller butt), others prefer a bigger butt, but firm and round it must always be!
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If you think you can improve on the shape or size of your butt, don't go on a diet, but enlist yourself to a gym. Your butt consists mainly out of muscles, so some focused attention in the gym will get them in shape quickly. By choosing the right skirts, trousers and jeans, you can also display a lot of your butt in public. Don't wear any long, wide sweaters, and blouses, covering your butt, and don't wear too loose and wide trousers, hanging around you like a bag, like some girls do who only want to be judged on their 'inner beauty'. It's nearly a fable, created and used by people who are not comfortable with the way they look like. Show what you got, twist that butt when you walk, push it outwards when you stand or sit down. When you dance, what you do with your butt, is more important then what you do with anything else. A girl who knows how to use her butt, twist it, can get a lot done because of it in this world. You can get some extra attention on your butt, by putting your hands on your butt without any reason, or bending over with a straight back. That's how you express a lot to a man who looks at women. Because in fact you are trying to say, is that you are offering him your pussy. The skin of your ass needs to be soft and smooth, as soft and smooth as the skin of your thighs. When you shave or wax your pussy, don't forget to shave or wax around your anus. The man who fucks you in your ass, doesn't want to be confronted with hairs there. Your butt is the most important target of spanking you will get from some men with a belt, whip, straw, paddle, cane or hand, if you don't behave well. We will talk about this more in a few chapters.
2.1.5 Pussy As was written in the previous chapter, the pussy is on your behind, and not in front of you. The Catholic church restricted sex long ago every sex position, except for the traditional missionary position, because it resembled the least the way animals had sex. The church's statement was, that 'humans weren't animals', but a resemblance of 'God'. Having sex had to resemble as much as possible, like having a conversation, facing forward. That is how the idea that a female's vagina, like the penis of a man, would be on the front. But weather you want to believe it or not, humans are animals without a doubt, and a woman who doesn't accept this notion will often disappoint their lovers. What a dominant man wants to see, is a girl who, how elegant, intelligent, and sophisticated she may be, realizes very well, she is in first place a 'female animal', and that she in company of the right man wants nothing more than to be fucked, and desires nothing less than his cock. She is constantly aware of the void in her belly, and the notion that she is 'open'. Only when she's being fucked, she becomes 'complete' and completely herself, then the void is being filled, and the rest of the time something essential is missing. You have to learn to think from your pussy. That is the most natural way of thinking for a girl, which is repressed by cultural and social education. Try and identify yourself with your pussy, so that everything you do beyond that, refers to it. You're a pussy walking across a street, doing numerous of things, studying, working, talking, sleeping, and which, if you're lucky, get's fucked firmly on a daily base. With some practice you can even learn to 'move from your pussy', by imagining all your movements are being controlled from between your legs. Of course this isn't really the case, but if you can imagine it, you will see your movements will become more subtle and fluently, and some men will recognize and appreciate this special way of moving. The clothes you wear, can help you get attention to your pussy. Often try to wear a skirt with nothing under it, or tight jeans, also with nothing underneath. Also shaving or waxing your pussy, makes you more aware of it, because you will feel different when you
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walk on a street, or sit down somewhere. You will feel your pussy lips are naked and exposed. Try and find a bench in the park, when you're wearing a skirt with no panties, and lift up the skirt before you sit down. You will feel the wood of the bench against your pussy, and you'll be surprised at your own reaction: it's naughty, you could get 'caught' by someone passing by, but at the same time it feels very normal, like it's something very ordinary, you're just a girl on a bench, nothing more. Another practice you could do, is masturbating in places where there are a lot of other people, like school, work, in a traffic jam, a library, even on a street. If you do that for a while, you will notice your pussy will keep wanting more and more attention, in situations which are normally not very arousing. Your pussy in the first place, is meant to give pleasure to man who's fucking you, and in that respect, your pussy is no different from any other girl's pussy. Though one pussy isn't the other pussy. For starters, they all look different. Some pussy lips are small, some large, the clitoris can be small, but sometimes as large as a peanut. Some pussies change shape and color when aroused, others don't change much at all. But all pussies can please a man, if they're tight and wet. To make your pussy tighter, and keep it tight, you will have to exercise it regularly in a simple manner. By contracting your pelvic muscles, which are the same muscles you use to hold up your pee, on a daily base, thirty times in a row for ten seconds each, your pussy will become like a tight fitting glove for every man's cock, when you have sex with him. Which is just about right. Of course your pussy is wet when you have sex with a man, otherwise you're not dealing with the right man for you. Some girls ask if there's something like a pussy that's 'too wet'. That question is an expression of shame, like there's something like a girl being 'too horny', and the answer is no. If your pussy is tight enough, it can never be too wet. That doesn't mean however, that a man could enjoy fucking you, while you're not wet, for instance while you're asleep, because fucking a dry, unsuspecting pussy has a certain charm. You must always make sure your pussy is shaved. You can pick between shaving and waxing. The first one is less painful, the second one requires less maintenance. Either way, for both techniques, it requires precision, since the skin around that area is very sensitive. Some men do desire to see some pubic hair, but there are also those who prefer to see no pubic hair at all. Try and estimate what he desires, without having to make him say it. If that's not possible, or if you're not having one kind of man in mind, then remove all your hair, from your pussy lips, to your anus, and trim the hair on your pubic area, giving it a clean look. A pussy with bristles is a turn off, so always make sure you're smooth and shaved. You might never know who you'll run into today. Don't use any vaginal showers or sprays, unless it is prescribed. The scent of a healthy pussy is nothing to be ashamed about. You will was your pussy with nothing else then water. Make sure you know your own pussy. If you haven't seen it properly yet, get a mirror and look at your pussy. Discover where your clit is, what it looks like, your pussy lips, opening, your anus. Turn around in front of the mirror, put your feet apart, and stick out your butt. You will see that your pussy, as we wrote about before, is indeed 'from behind'. Finger yourself, and discover how wet you get, and how your pussy opens itself for an imaginary cock, welcoming it willingly.
2.1.6 Legs Your legs refer, like your ass, to your pussy. It is after all 'between your legs', in a certain way. In reality your pussy is more behind it, but the phrase 'spreading your legs' doesn't refer by chance to 'getting laid'.
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To keep your legs in shape, you will have to sport, bike riding, running, swimming or skating. Too muscular legs look too 'hard' and are not really feminine. If you're wearing high heels, and your calf's are contracting, they still have to look subtle and soft on they eye. It's important that you're flexible, so that you can spread your legs wide, and also can bring your knees to your shoulders with stretched legs, when you're being fucked on your back. If you have good looking legs, show them off, by wearing skirts, dresses and shorts. It speaks for itself, that you need to shave your legs or wax them.
2.1.7 Hands Take good care of your hands and nails. The skin of your hands needs to look well groomed and soft, and your nails not too short, like those of a man, but also not too long. Don't use bright, hard colored nail polish, file your nails not too pointy, because that will make an aggressive impression.
2.1.8 Feet Not just people with a foot fetish, but most other men as well, look at women's feet. The bare, or nearly bare feet of a girl, still get associated in Northern Europe, even in the 21st century, with slaves from the Roman Empire. That might seem like a vague association, but every man capable of analyzing his own feelings, will confirm. There is a reason why there are so called 'slave sandals' for sale, with leather laces strapped around the calf's. The bare feet of a girl is a symbol of servitude. Some girls have prettier feet then other girls, but there's a lot you can do, to make your feet look good. Take care of the skin of your feet, making sure it's soft and smooth, without callous and spend a lot of attention to your toe nails. Be careful with nail polish, because it doesn't look good on every girl, and can easily look vulgar. By walking on your bare feet and toes, you can relieve the tension on the instep of your feet, making it curl more beautiful. This exercise is also very good for your posture in general.
2.1.9 Jewelry Braces, necklaces, rings, earrings and other jewelry you wear to get more attention to your body., not because of the jewelry itself. So don't exaggerate it, with big earrings or heavy rings. The color and shining of the material has to make the skin look good. Some girls can't wear gold, other can't wear silver, because it doesn't match with the color of their skin. By wearing necklaces, resembling collars, you can in a subtle but unmistakably way, refer to your submissive nature, even in public. Of course you don't wear a collar with metal rings when you're going to work, college or school, but a small, silver collar or necklace, quickly gets associated by the right men, with the right idea. The same things goes in a smaller way, for wide silver or copper braces. Originally wearing a ring had a symbolic reason. Although these days both the bride and the groom give each other a wedding ring, long ago only the female wore a ring, showing she was 'taken'. Another way of exposing some of your erotic desires, by wearing jewelry, is by wearing a necklace with a key on it. You're communicating with that, that you still got the key with access to your treasures, and no man has got it yet.
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2.1.10 Piercings and tattoos Perhaps you once considered getting a piercing or tattoo. There are dominant men who will appreciate it, and others who will prefer a unharmed body, without markings. In general it's a bad idea placing tattoos in areas visible to the public eye. For piercings goes, that getting a ring or stick piercing(s) on your nipples, clitoris, clithood or pussy lips, is better left for the decision of the dominant men you are getting in a relationship with. The same thing goes for tattoos on buttocks, thighs, breasts, pubic area etc.
2.1.11 Clothes Make sure you spend a lot of attention to how you dress yourself. You don't need to have a million dollar wardrobe to look good. It is more important you pick your clothes with care, and think about the combination of clothes. A girl who dresses herself in a good way, shows as much as she covers up, without giving away too much cleavage, or needs to wear too short skirts. Even when she's dressed conservative, and only her hands are face are exposed, men around her will imagine her how she looks naked underneath, without even being conscious about it. There are girls who dress up pretty and seductive, just to please themselves. That is a 'political correct' excuse, coming from the feministic dogma that a girl isn't supposed to strive to please a man. In reality of course, a girl doesn't do anything else, but imagine herself in front of the mirror, how a man would judge her, or to put it more simple: if he would fuck her or not. About some clothes we will talk a bit more, because a girl who wants to attract dominant men needs to attend those clothes a bit more than others. Long skirts and dresses are perhaps less seductive then short skirts and dresses, but have a strong symbolic message. They remind us about the women from ancient history, working on the land, or riding in a carriage to the city. By wearing a long skirt or dress, you express your feminine side, but also qualities like modesty and servitude. Short skirts and dresses of course have a completely different meaning. You are willing to expose your legs, and perhaps even more, for instance when bend over, or sit down. Normally you close your legs when you sit down, in a way that your knees will just not reach each other, and picking something up happens by kneeling down, instead of bending over. When it's your intention to provide a man a closer look, you can always make it look like an 'accident', even if he already fucked you. A short skirt (and in a lesser way also a short dress) conveys the impression of 'accessibility'. Until the beginning of the 19th century girls didn't wear any underwear, and her pussy and ass where easy accessible, all was needed, was lifting up her skirt or dress if she was getting fucked. This idea still holds up in modern times, and is also the reason why you sometimes don't wear any panties under a skirt or dress, and certainly no panty hose! Trousers show more of the female form then skirts. If you don't wear too loose trousers, the shape of your ass will be perfectly outlined in the trousers, better than in most (not tight) skirts, and even the shape of your legs can still be visible to gazing eyes. This means you need to pick out your trousers with care.
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If you're wearing tight, stretchy trousers (like 'leggings'), then make sure the fabric is not too tight near the area of your vagina, exposing a cameltoe, which is vulgar and not very attractive. For all tight fitting trousers goes, you wear a thong under it, or nothing at all, because panty lines can never be visible through trousers. Shorts reminds of panties, and give the impression you are barely dressed. If your butt and legs are nice, wearing cut off jeans is a good idea, in an informal situation that is. If the crotch of the short is so small, you can see your panties through it, you can think about not wearing any panties at all. If you really want to expose something in that case, you can always 'by accident' spread your legs a little. Do make sure you are shaved or waxed. Sweaters and tops you pick to make sure your breasts look good in them. It's no shame showing a part of your belly and/or belly button, but use them only on special occasions. The tops some girls wear, when they're going out, barely covering their breasts, are pure overkill; there has to be something to discover for the man that takes you to his place. Underwear is underrated in the eyes of women, perhaps because they think nobody is going to see it, or that the man that will fuck them isn't going to see much of it before she's naked. But panties, bra's and stockings are very important, even more so when it's time to undress for a man. Thongs expose your buttocks, and are therefore mandatory under tight fitting trousers, jeans, skirts and dresses (if you want to wear anything underneath it at all). The panty lines cannot be visible at all times. There are girls who never wore anything else but thongs, which is fine. If you feel more 'naked', you will automatically behave more feminine. Panties come in all shape and sizes, from granny panties to clean cut tanga panties. Pick the tanga's. The man who gets to undress you, may see and understand you thought about the fact that you might get fucked this day. Catsuits (and other one-piece lingerie covering both top and bottom) got the disadvantage that they cover up your butt and pussy, making them not easily accessible. Sometimes there are snap fasteners or buttons in the crotch, solving the problem more or less. This isn't very elegant though. Bra's need to fit most of all, making sure they bring out the shape of your breasts. There are version exposing your bare nipples which are often too vulgar, but do pick a bra not flattening your nipples. When your nipples get hard, it has to, if your clothes are tight enough, be visible through the fabric. Are your breasts big and firm enough, you can consider not wearing a bra at all. Corsets you can only wear if they're a perfect fit. There's no point of wearing a corset restricting your movement, or giving you difficulty to breathe. Garterbelts are always a good idea. The garterbelt and the straps holding up your stockings have to accentuate the roundings of your butt and hips. A girl
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wearing a garterbelt shows she understands she's 'open' underneath, because she's wearing a piece of clothing deliberately giving full access to both her pussy and ass, exposing it completely. The panties or thong, if you wear them, you will wear over the garterbelt, making it easier to take them off, without having the trouble of taking off your garterbelt and stockings first. Panty's don't belong in your wardrobe. The restrict access to your pussy and ass, and are above all ugly. Throw them away. Stockings got two different versions; the fully fashioned stockings, and stayup stockings with a band of elastic or highly tractive material that resists slipping down the thigh. You can wear both versions, although the fully fashioned stockings with the gartbelt is often preferred by most dominant men. Those are however not very useful and comfortable under trousers. Don't wear stay-up stockings with a garterbelt, but instead use the traditional, fully fashioned stockings . Fishnet stockings become blatant easily, but fully fashioned stockings are always good. If you have any garters, you can even switch from time to time. Don't pull up your stockings too high. Expose at least 5 inches of your thighs.
2.1.12 Shoes and boots You can spend your money better on five pair of expensive boots and shoes, which look good, then spend the same money on twelve other pairs of lesser quality, because the difference can be seen without a doubt. The next few footwear cannot be missed in your wardrobe. Tall boots with a high heel, preferably in black and with a zipper, or even better, if you can find any, with laces. You wear these under dressed and skirts, and every now and then when you're naked or just in lingerie. The heel is not often too high; most girls can easily wear heels up to 4 inches. High heels also makes you walk more elegant (after some practice), and your butt gets more attention as well. Shots boots with a semi high heel, for a less spectacular effect. You can wear these perfectly under trousers. Pumps with semi high or high heels. Keep in mind with your choice, to strike the right balance between elegance and sluttiness. If you're wearing stiletto heels, adjust your way of moving, and make sure to keep your balance when standing and walking. There's nothing more preposterous then a girl wobbling on high heels, or walking pumps like she's wearing farmer boots. Sandals a heel, exposing a large portion of your feet. Here goes as well: keep your elegance. Slave sandals with no heels, as basic and simple as possible, with leather laces around your calf's. Of course you can also wear sneakers, mountain shoes and all other sorts of shoes, as long as they match your outfit.
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2.1.13 Perfume If you are on of those exceptional girls, who have no extremely pleasant body scent good enough to beat any perfume in the world, you will also have to make sure you smell nice. Don't use heavy perfume's, but light, modest perfume's, mixing good with your body scent. Match your perfume with the scent of your soap and deodorant when you pick a perfume.
2.2 Your character Everybody knows what we mean with 'female characteristics', but even so, the difference between male and female characteristics is somewhat of a taboo. A lot of people want to believe it's something 'out of this time', as if men and women are only different in physical appearance. If you have desires for a dominant man, there can be no mistake, that the difference in sexes has a much larger meaning for you.
2.2.1 Female characteristics The traditional female characteristics are modesty, servitude, obeying and something like 'emotional'. We can add some that hardly ever get mentioned: submissive, vanity and ... sluttiness. Fortunately there's practically nobody anymore who claims that women, even though she might be bright and independent, has to be modest and constantly serving. But to get the interest of a dominant man, she can choose to act in such a way. Especially when she is usually very outspoken and independent, a shy and modest feminine attitude can get the attention of the right dominant man. The contrast between her 'public appearance', and the way she approaches him, makes both her independence as well as her servitude more beautiful in his eyes. That women are more caring and emotional in certain ways, is not so much of a prescription, but rather a fact. But other characteristics we mentioned are more difficult to accept. Submissive as a female characteristic we mention before in the introduction of this book. You can try and make your submissive nature a big secret, or every now and then, in the right company, expose it. Vanity and sluttiness may seem like bad characteristics at first sight, but a vain girl, simply understands that it matters a lot how you look. There is no objection at all, that girl uses her sexual attractiveness to achieve certain things. After all, if she uses her intelligence, nobody calls that immoral, right? The flip side of vanity, is that a girl is tempted to seduce every man she encounters. Of course you don't want to sleep with every man, but you are interested to find out, if even a man you're not interested in, if you could get him to it. In the past 40 years, the availability of the anti-conception pill and other protection, caused the one boundary for girls to act slutty, to drop away out of the equation. A girl loyal to one man, can sincerely believe she has no needs to be fucked by others, but in reality there's always something going on. Sometimes she just doesn't meet the right guys, and it's not so difficult to stay 'good'. But more often she just acts 'good', because she doesn't want to lose her boyfriend, or because she unconsciously feels that she would get confused if she where to admit to her slutty desires. A lot of women who consider themselves not be 'sluts', think other girls just let themselves get fucked all the time by everyone. This is nothing more than a jealous reaction, caused because their boyfriend for instance, meets other girls. They cannot imagine that girl would not offer herself to him. A girl who thinks that way, still has some things to learn: in first place that whatever rules apply to other girls, also apply to herself, and secondly that
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she cannot demand her boyfriend not to fuck other girls when he feels like it. A girl who accepts her submissive desires already understands and accepts this, it even turns her on, because it emphasizes his masculinity. Of course for vanity and sluttiness goes, that you can determine yourself how far to take it, or at least you try to control it. A dominant man knows that every girl is a slut, but he also knows she is always prepared to admit to that natural desire. If she does, and he likes it, he will go on to the next step.
2.2.2 Character development Your character is not something static, something you got from birth. The female characteristics we wrote about in the previous chapter, is something existing from birth, but the way they present itself are heavily dependent on the way you where raised, culture and personal history. Even more important are the factors you use to shape your own character. You are better than anyone else, to admit certain weaknesses in your character, and to change them. If you find a man whom you can submit to, you put that responsibility for a large part in his hands, but even that is eventually your decision, and every single time you obey him, accept his will or accept his punishment, you confirm that decision. You do that, because you understand he can shape you the way you need to be. You can, as a girl, take many forms. If the man you want to submit to, wants to see you very introvert or very slutty, you have each one of those qualities. He makes, by the demands he has, an end to your confusion of the different characteristics and roles you can assume. Because one role is not any better than the other role, you need a man to make that choice for you, and that direction into his hands. Of course a girl can develop her own character also without the help of a man, but she will never reach the same level of a girl who lets herself be shaped and molded by a man controlling her. You could compare it with someone with a good physical condition, but never focusing on one specific sport. By accepting the choices of a coach in charge, the end results are better. The determining aspect is not which sport you choose, but the fact that a choice has been made. And of course the qualities of the coach are of great influence on the performance. The man who you will submit to, will (if he's a good coach), shape you in a variety of ways. He will shape your feminine qualities exactly as he desires. He will train you, guide you, by talking and explaining things to you, as well as by disciplining and punishing you. Girls who are not in a relationship with a dominant man, often say: 'He needs to accept me for who I am', as if there's nothing to improve on their character. That is a mistake, based on a childish understanding of freedom and 'being yourself'. What does this mean for a girl who chooses to submit herself to a man? You will discover it is a liberating feeling, to put his wishes above yours, to behave according to his rules and punishments, whenever you make any mistakes. All sorts of aspects of your feminine self will now really begin to form themselves in your daily life, and you will never have felt 'more yourself' before.
2.2.3 Fifteen mistakes As easy as it is to gain the attention of a dominant man by doing things right, as easy as it is to make him loose his interest in you by doing the wrong things. Fifteen examples of things you can do wrong are presented below, you can fill in the rest.
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1. Repress or denial your feminism 2. Move without elegance. Having a bad posture. Walk in an ugly manner. Hanging in a chair. Sit down with legs wide open. Dressing poorly. 3. Spoiled, always wanting 'the last word', or being to assertive. You can always make your point in a feminine way, and being the center of attention tends to become boring. 4. Being sloppy, clumsy or loud. 5. Being oversensitive, or easily hurt. 6. Use profanity in company of others. 7. Refusing a man you just met a small pleasure (getting something to drink for him, opening a window etc.) 8. Saying you are beautiful. Perhaps this might be the case, but being modest is more beautiful. 9. Saying you find yourself ugly. A girl who is insecure about her looks and body, will never really let herself go in bed, and begging for compliments quickly becomes a boring game. 10. Talking about your sex life without any cause. 11. Giving a man the impression you want to get laid by him, and then 'changing your mind'. 12. Saying things like 'I fucked my boyfriend'. A girl doesn't fuck, she gets fucked. 13. Saying women are smarter, better, etc. then men. It's just as pointless as the other way around. 14. Complaining about men only thinking about 'one thing'. 15. Bashing other girls for their sexual morality. You are just as horny yourself.
2.2.4 How do you see yourself? Only if your own fantasies turn you on, rather then scare you, only if you accept you're a whore and a slut, that enjoys getting attention of desires, and dream about being submissive and used by a dominant man, only then you can learn to behave 'as you are supposed to'. You can wear all the prettiest, sexiest clothes you got, and take them off again, but if you don't understand what it's about, a dominant men will at most fuck you once, before spending time on other girls. There are roughly about five different type of girls from the ways they cope with their submissive and slutty desires. These different types are of course not 'scientifically proven', but it can give you a better understanding in the real world. If you read the handbook up till this point, it should be easy for you to recognize which type of girl you are, because your own reaction to what you have read, are a good indication for that. Please may I remind you, you are not unchangeable, you can develop yourself from one type, into another type. And in some cases this might be a good idea. Rational-active Girls of this type rely a lot on their mind (that's why 'rational') and a lot less on their feelings and physicality. They want to be judged on their 'character', and therefore have high goals. Sex is for these girls inessential, something they don't want to spend a lot of time on. And if they spend any time on it, they do it in a very rational manner: they say with a lot of words what they like, and deeply inform what their partner likes. If his needs aren't very extraordinary, they will give him what he wants, not because of the passion, but because it is 'reasonable and fair'. Sex is for these type of girls like a mutual service, and they never lose control.
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Some of these girls turn sex into a sport, something they want to be 'good' in, because they want to be good in anything they do. It could mean, that she might start exploring a more submissive role, but often they come back on that idea. On some occasions a rational-active girl turns into a sensual-active girl, for example, after some pleasant sexual experiences. Then she won't be able to resist giving sex an important place in her life. Rational-passive A girl who is rational-passive is also too busy with what's in her mind, and not enough with her feelings and physicality, but is missing the (real or imaginative) confidence of a rational-active type. She doesn't need to be very insecure and helpless, but often suffers from shame, guilt and not enough self-respect. She can in a certain period of her life, experiment with sex, both because she is looking for her own identity and because of the limitations of her rational believe. Her guilt feelings can result in submissive desires; she wants to be punished for her flaws. She can take that quite far, but never really succeeds to submit completely to a man, because her motivation in the end isn't the right one. When she grows older, her physicality can play a bigger part in her life, and this is often how she solves her moral and psychological problems, which before seemed to be insurmountable flaws. Sensual-active These type of girls follow more their feelings, then their mind. They are conscious about the attraction they have on men, and often use it to satisfy their curiosity about everything that has to do with sex. Their sensuality expresses sometimes also in submissive and slutty desires, which they act upon, but always stay in control of it, or they tell themselves they still have control. They consider their sexual activities as a game, in where they can play different roles. Completely give in to their desires they never will. They might want to get spanked and do anal sex, but only by a man they can control. Women who consider themselves as dominant are part of this type. Their abomination towards their submissive feelings they encounter, are so big, they rather switch the roles around. And instead of going on their knees themselves, they submit other men or women on their knees. Sensual-active girls can develop into submissive-slutty girls. This usually happens when they completely fall in love with someone dominant. They get into a fierce conflict with themselves, because submitting for them is the hardest thing in their life. If the love is strong enough, they can overcome this, but it will not happen swiftly. Sensual-passive A sensual-passive girl is strongly aware of her femininity, and therefore also has no need to, like sensual-active girls, treat their sexuality in a more or less masculine and aggressive manner, to experience her sexuality. She wants to seduce, but above all come over as vacant, and understands, without being conscious about it, she doesn't fuck as a girl, but gets fucked. Although she's not conscious about the meaning and depth of her submissive desires, she does feel strongly attracted to dominant men. She will therefore also, if she decides to sleep with a man, without any problem get spanked and do anal sex, because she doesn't get frightened by the idea that it turns her on.
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Sensual-passive girls get closest to submissive-slutty girls, and can develop into that direction fairly quickly, especially if they meet the right man. Because then they will need to admit to their submissive desires, and let go of their passive behavior, that also their slutty behavior comes into focus. Submissive-slutty A submissive-slutty girl has accepted her desires for a dominant man completely, and understands, that if she wants to be happy, she will need to submit to such a man. She knows she can seduce men easily, and can have a lot of pleasure from their cocks, but wants more than just that. She considers herself to be a willing prey for the right men, and is not ashamed of her sluttiness; she is willing to go very far, for the man with the right look in his eyes. As long as she hasn't met a dominant man, she will experiment with sex, and have a multitude of relationships, in which she will constantly try to submit herself, and constantly find out she is not understood. It always turns out to the fact, that she is in control, while she is the one that wants to submit, and is hungering for a submissive position. So she goes, after she understood what she's missing, looking for that one man that can dominate her. Once she finds him, she completely submits to him. With him, she can be who she is: a whore, a slut, a bitch, a slave. And? How do you see yourself? Are you prepared to admit to yourself, you are a horny slut? To face the fact, you desire to do as you're told, and be punished if you make any mistakes? Are you prepared to allow the right man, to fuck you in your ass, whenever he feels like it, even though it may hurt? The parts we will talk about in the next chapter, are pointless, unless you haven't answered 'yes' to all these questions.
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3. Searching for a dominant man A girl who has accepted her submissive desires, is not by default a submissive girl. She has to meet the right man, before she can submit to him, and make her desires a reality. Finding a dominant man isn't easy, because although there are many men who can pretend to be dominant on occasion, a girl who looks critical at those men, will discover she's only interested in those men for only a matter of minutes. And it is a good idea, to look critical at that, because once you submit to him, you have to obey him. In other words: once you've chosen your path, you have to walk the path. Having critic is no longer in place, once you've submitted to him. In this chapter, we will describe how you can meet (and recognize) a dominant man, and how to behave to get his attention, and keep his attention.
3.1 What is a dominant man? If you're wondering how to recognize a dominant man, perhaps you've never met one before. But more likely it is possible you couldn't or wouldn't want to understand who you where dealing with. If you are ready to fully accept your desires, you will recognize a dominant men easily. There are few dominant men under 25. Of course there are young men, who have a natural talent for it, but we will leave them for this part. The dominant man had a development in his sexual relations. He came to understand himself, and the women he met, better over time. Now he knows what he wants, and how he wants it. A dominant man loves girls and women, and loves sex. He is certainly no womenhater and no sadist at all. He thinks it's only natural a girl obeys him, but understands when a girl isn't ready for that yet. He considers the submission of a dumb girl as uninteresting. Only a girl who is independent can understand the choice to submit herself, or not. The dominant man punishes a disobeying girl, and receives pleasure from her whimpering. It is not the pain that gives him pleasure, but the submission she shows to let him hurt her. Sex is not a mutual masturbation for a dominant man. He fucks the girl, and the girl lets herself get fucked. He does not hesitate to push her boundaries, or force her to endure pain or discomfort for his pleasure. He does not believe in 'democratic sex'. And therefore he wants a girl who doesn't believe in that either. Many men never find the answer to what a woman truly is, a mother, virgin or 'girl for pleasure', as if she could only be one of those three. A dominant man doesn't acknowledge that confusion. He finds all those aspects in every girl and women. Most dominant men are intelligent, versatile, cultural sophisticated, and have a rich social life, just like the women who follow their submissive instincts. Men who talk about women in humiliating ways, are not dominant men, but big kids, who are still afraid of the opposite sex. The same thing goes for men who believe in the theory that women are 'inferior', whatever that may mean. And not every man, who once hit a girl with a belt, is a dominant man. A lot of people experiment, but only few understand what they are doing.
3.2 Where do you find a dominant man? Perhaps your perception towards men in your environment, by reading this handbook, has changed, and you finally discovered why that one man was always so interesting to you, without knowing exactly why, and could possibly be a dominant man. You can meet in all
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sort of circumstances a dominant man, at work, at school, friends. If that's not the case, you make it easier for yourself, by actively searching for a man, for instance on special websites, or in newspapers. A warning is on its place here. Everyone who can count to ten, can place and add, calling himself a 'strict master', or 'demanding dominant'. It takes exactly five seconds to write down, you're an experienced 'Dom'. There are men out there, which aren't in any way dominant, but are smart enough to understand, that they can meet and fuck a girl, as long as she believes she is dealing with a 'master'. Unfortunately there are also just men, who are purely there to take out their frustration on a girl. You also have to ask yourself the question, if you're looking for a man, or a 'master'. If your fantasies are more about the 'theatrical' aspect of dominant-submissive relationships, like masks, cages, rubber clothes, then perhaps your best option would be to find a man who presents himself as a 'master'. But is it is predominantly about the power balance, in where rules and punishments are means to a cause, then it would be best to focus more on the men who focus more on the psychological aspects of it. If you place an add on a website, and get reactions, be very careful. Read carefully what he writes, not in the add, because he could have copied that, but in emails and messages he sends you personally. If you call him (never give your phone number in the beginning), listen to his voice. Tell a friend the first time you will meet him, where you will be going, and when you will be back. First ask his name, what his ideas are, if he's experienced, and everything else you want to know about him. It's better to turn down ten men that where good, because it didn't feel good, then say 'yes' to one wrong guy, and have a bad experience. If he comes over, during these contacts, as nervous, impatient or hostile, break all contact with him. A real dominant man isn't vague about what he wants, and doesn't give out orders from the start, or demand things. He will understand and respect your cautiousness.
3.3 Meeting in company If, in an optimistic estimation, one on every forty men is dominant, it means you will meet a few dominant men every week. How do you act, in company of other men and women, when you want to gain the attention of a present dominant man? What do you need to do, if have a hunch, that you're dealing with a dominant man (and you're interested in him)? The best advice is: be yourself. If you try to put up an act, to give the impression you are ready for a relationship with a dominant man, you will attract the wrong men, who are after nothing else but casual sex, and you will get disappointed each time. And in the end, you will become to believe, dominant men, like you have imagined, don't exist. What you do, has to come from within yourself, you have to acknowledge and accept your submissive, slutty and masochistic feelings and desires. You will automatically do the right things. That doesn't mean you have to behave slutty and submissive to everyone. That would be awkward. But how would you need to act? It speaks for itself, that you dress properly, spend a lot of attention to your posture, way of walking and sorts, like we discussed in chapter 2. Just because of this, you will stand out, because there are few girls out there who know how to do that. If you got the proper attitude, you will automatically not make a lot of mistakes, so we don't need to discuss those either (see chapter 2.2.3). Concentrate on the men in the company, react quickly and accurately on what they say, and do them small favors, like handing them something, or getting them something, or picking something up. But keep it subtle. Don't make a big show out of it, like you were
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doing it to receive compliments and 'thank you's'. Do the things spontaneously, and in a natural way, like it's a very normal thing. So don't go sitting on the edge of your seat, waiting until there's something you can do, but mind your own things, until an opportunity presents itself for you to act on. Show that you are an independent, intelligent girl, capable of making her own decisions, and has her own life, but that next to that, you have a sixth sense for the men in your environment and what keeps them occupied. Because such servitude is no longer required these days from girls, you can expose a lot about yourself without much words, for what you truly desire. Most men will just think you're a nice girl. Some men will try and tell you, they think you want something from them, but you are capable enough to handle them. And that dominant man will look you once more, and think his own about it. If in a mixed company, people make jokes about women, or make pun intended jokes, don't act shocked like a nun, but go along with it. Don't feel yourself forced into a defensive mode, but choose the offense, by being cheerful, witty and charming. Are the jokes going to far, restrict yourself in expressing what you think about it. There are certain circumstances, in where, even without the presence of a dominant man, a girl who faces her feelings, can become an erotically charged situation. For instance when she's in company with two men in a non-public room. You become consciously aware of the possibility they might desire to fuck you, simply because you are the only girl, and they would get great pleasure from using your pussy, ass and mouth. Of course most of the times, nothing happens, usually because most men wouldn't dare approaching you in that way. But if you are even slightly attracted to them, you will notice how you behave different, almost as if you want to propose the idea to them. Even though you weren't planning on doing anything with those men, you experience it as something natural, to be seen as a lust object by them, and if you're honest enough, you would have to admit, that with the right approach, they could even get you that far. By accepting your role in certain circumstances as the whore and slut, you can, even though nothing might happen, learn a lot about what men want, and about your own feelings. Observe yourself, and discover what you are communicating by what you're saying, and your body language. If a man shows interest in you, and wants to meet you outside of a company of other people, and you are interested in him as well, make a date with him. If you don't want to, try and find an excuse for him, so that he doesn't lose his pride. In a company of people, there could be more than one dominant man. In that case, it is important to give equal amounts of attention to both men, even if you're more attracted to either one of them. When you do something with him outside of the company of other people, even though it may only be a walk or a quick lunch, you will no longer have to hide your preference. Once you've submitted to another man, behave yourself in company of other people, as he has taught you. Some dominant men prefer to appear to the outside world as a 'normal' couple, and behave like any other girl. Some other dominant men prefer to show how your relationship is like, by silencing you in public, or making you dress in a certain way.
3.4 An old friend, or a new 'master'? It could happen that you see in an old friend, a dominant man, or in a female friend a submissive girl. If the last thing is the case, it might be a good idea to try and talk with her about her experiences, if she wants to of course. You can always learn new things from that. If you suspect a friend or an acquaintance of yours is a dominant man, and you're interested in him, be careful how you approach him. It might seems like a good idea to just
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ask him, but that would get you a good conversation at most, while you might want more than just that. By calling things as they are, you might disrupt the 'magic' as it where. The trick is, to slowly make him discover, if he hadn't already, that you accepted your submissive feelings, and are longing for him to dominate you. Perhaps he noticed your submissive feelings before you did, bet even then it's important to make the transition in the way you treat each other, very slowly. Do him small favors, make him have a good time, dress just a little bit more provocative then you usually would, glance down every now and then when you normally would have glanced at him. That's all you need to do, if he's interested in you, he will make the first step. If you're looking for a man you can share your submissive feelings with, without having a relationship, a dominant friend or acquaintance is a good choice, because you will trust him more then someone you don't know yet. These experiments however, are not without any risk (read the next chapter), and you have to wonder what could be the consequences for your friendship.
3.5 In an existing relationship Perhaps you got a boyfriend or husband, whom you suspect to be dominant, but with whom you had a 'normal' relationship thus far. Is it possible to morph that relationship into a relationship between a dominant man and a submissive girl? Unfortunately the answer is often 'no'. If he hasn't discovered you'd like to submit and be used like a lust object, there's not much a girl can do about it. You can ask him to spank you, give you tasks or fuck your tight little asshole, but that's the world upside down; the girl asking a man to do 'something dominant'. Perhaps he will agree, and you will get to feel, how it feels to be spanked for example, but the red cheeks will soon disappear and you never really got to submit to him. It still remains a game. Morphing a 'normal' relationship into a submissive/dominant relationship can only work if you don't have to say explicitly what you truly desire, but are able to get him to do the things you want him to do, in a way that will give him the idea it was his idea all along; and that will only happen if he was dominant from the start. If that doesn't work at all, you will have to make a choice. If your desires and feelings are too strong, there will come a day when you'll leave him, to submit to a dominant man. And if you think you can suppress you submissive desires... good luck!
3.6 Experiment It could happen that you meet a dominant man, with whom you can't or don't want to have a long term relationship with, for instance because he doesn't want to, or because you're already in a relationship. If he is willing to 'train' you for a shorter period, this could be a good opportunity to experiment. There a couple of things to be considered. In first place you might fall in love with him. If you meet a man who understands your needs, and can handle your deepest desires and can handle them, you may lose interest and meaning in the other sexual contacts and relationships you have with other people. Even if he made it clear to you from the start this would only be a short term relationship, you can begin to hope he might not want to lose you, now you've fully submit to him. But for a dominant man, the submission of a girl to him, is not something that will alter his life, he's seen it before. Not you, and that makes a big difference. Of course we cannot exclude that he might make you his permanently, because dominant men fall in love too, but don't count on it.
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In second place, you need to ask yourself, how far you are willing to go, with a man who has no intentions to start a long term relationship. This is difficult, since a girl cannot have too much demands on a man willing to 'train' you. Perhaps you will take away the pleasure of doing things now, before you meet the man in a couple of years from now, you are willing to start a long term relationship with. But the man who is willing to train you for a short period, will probably not allow such limitations. It's hard to explain to him, you don't want him to spank you, or let him fuck you in your ass, because you want to 'save it' for a possible future dominant lover. On the other hand, a 'temporary' Dom cannot expect you to get any tattoos or piercings, or leave any permanent marks on you. Finally there's more of a principal question you have to ask yourself. Is there something like experimenting? Or does submission, even short term, always means more? Is it possible to completely surrender to a man who doesn't love you, and whom you don't love either. And if that is inevitable, should you avoid such short term contacts, for a week, a month, or maybe even twenty years, and do things over and over again, like it's the first and only man you're submitting to?
3.7 On your knees You finally found a dominant men you want to submit to. You act in such a way, when he's in your presence, that he understands what you're offering him. But how do you, on the right moment, submit to him? That moment is up to his decision, and often comes later then you want (and hope for). Maybe he knew all along what you felt for him, but wants to see if you're patient enough. Perhaps he enjoys seeing you struggle in doubts. In either case, the only thing you can do, is keep offering yourself to him, in a subtle but unmistakable way, and hope he makes the final move. Once he takes that final move, all you have to do, is obey him. He will say something to you, give you a task, or ask you a question. Perform the task, answer the question. Or he can suddenly, demand you to dress down naked, when you're not expecting it. Or perhaps he will just tell you to come to his place, the next day. You will hear in his voice, that it's that time. Some men can demand you to tell them, with good arguments, that you want to submit to him, that you'll obey him, and he can have access to you whenever, wherever he wants. Don't say those things spontaneously, but wait until he asks for it. There are also dominant man who will make you sign a contract, make you wear a collar, or some other visible representation of your submission to him, in where you give all your rights to the dominant man. Such a contract of course is not a legal document, but still ha a meaning, in which you commit yourself to the rules and restrictions in the contract by the letter, and respect it. In the beginning of your relationship with a dominant man, you will have much to learn about how he likes you to behave. Chapter 4 will be about the rules for performing sexual acts, but of course he can have different opinions about that, and chapter 5 will be about disciplining and punishments.
3.8 A relationship with a dominant man If you're in a relationship with a man, whom you submit to, it doesn't mean to say, you don't matter anymore. On the contrary, he choose you for who you are, and not because of the fact, that you have a pussy, ass and mouth, since any girl's got that. And often a dominant man is not in short of girls around him, willing to get fucked by him.
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A girl, who has got nothing else to offer, but her obeying self, like an advanced, well oiled machine, is hardly interesting for the most dominant men for a night alone, let alone for a long term relationship. Only a girl with a strong, rich personality can play that role. Of course he controls you, not just in a sexual way, but in all ways imaginable, 24/7. This doesn't take away the fact, that your feelings, intelligence, your resourcefulness and sense of humor can come into its own rights. Whoever cannot imagine, or even think it's unlikely, has probably never experienced it, since experience proves these things aren't any problem, and a dominant/submissive relationship can have the same depth as any other regular 'normal relationship between two adults. It can happen, that a dominant man, while being in a normal conversation with his girl, can order her to do something in a sexual or other manner. She will obey him at all times, like she always does, and with that the conversation could end, but that doesn't mean he wasn't listening to what she was saying. He can, for instance if they're going out to dinner with friends, order her what to wear and order her to, half way through the night, seduce the female host of the dinner, and she will obey him. But that doesn't mean that she can disagree with something he says during the conversation at the dinner. A dominant man will punish his girl if she doesn't obey, acts bold, or behaves bad in any other way, but for an opinion she has, except when it is in direct conflict with her submissive position or philosophy of their dominant/submissive relationship. Beyond that, she can say whatever she likes. He would even prefer it, because why would he deny himself the pleasure of an animated conversation? It's also not true, that a dominant man gives his girl orders and tasks constantly. That wouldn't just be hard to maintain for her, but also for himself. And it would quickly become boring. The girl lives her own life, does her own things, but within the rules of their dominant/submissive relationship, and aware of the fact that he can order her to do things at any time. Because of that, she is constantly in a semi-horny state, even if he doesn't give her any attention during a whole day. They can both live their own lives, minding their own businesses. The submission of a girl, is not based upon a fear for the dominant male, but rather on the trust between them. She learns to get to know the man who owns her, and her love for him is not one-dimensional, like an instinctive answer on his sexual overweight, but versatile and complete. She doesn't question his ownership over her, and doesn't look for a rational or justifiable explanation for it. In her eyes, it's only natural that she obeys him, and it makes her feel like a complete woman. In his eyes, he sees her as a strong, young woman, who doesn't just please and satisfy him in every way, but also loves and understands him. He admires her dedication and courage. He is in love with her, in his own way, and therefore wants to own her. She's not just 'some girl' to him. She flourishes under his command, and makes him happy with everything that she does.
3.9 What to tell others? Not every girl has the courage to submit to her submissive feelings. If you are ready for it, the reactions from your female friends could prove to be disappointing. Chances are, that what you do, and let do to you, can be disproved by them: 'You're not going to let that guy hit and humiliate you, are you?! Why don't you go looking for a regular guy, who's not into such perverted things?' But next time your submissive feelings are the point of discussion, you will notice that some of your female friends may become curios. They will ask questions about how it all works, how it feels, and why you do it. There are few girls, who would not like to hear it, first hand. You can count on it, that the answers you will give them, may become part of
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their sexual fantasies, and may even result in them getting spanked for the first time, or trying anal sex for the first time. They will envy you for what you are experiencing, because that is what they've often dreamed about for years, and it just 'happens' to you. Try and convince them it's mostly up to them, if they're not meeting with 'the right guy'. Your male friends will disprove your affair with a dominant man even more then your female friends did at first. They may be curios as well, but most of all jealous, because they realize they weren't capable of having you, or another girl, submit to them. It could also happen, that one of your male friends understands you very well, because he is dominant himself. In that case, it might help you a lot, to talk to him about your feelings, doubts and fears, if the man you obey allows that that is. Of course you're not obligated to tell your friends everything. Perhaps the man you obey to, may even forbid it. Take in account, that jealousy could lead to gossips and nasty conflicts. Try and find out first how other people feel about these things, before you confess it to them.
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4. Sexual skills Although even in daily life, the relationship between a dominant man and a submissive girl, get a special meaning, because even in that her submission becomes 'obvious', there are especially for the sexual situations certain rules. Every dominant man has it's own preferences, and that he teaches you 'manners' on this part, is a essential part of your relationship with him, but the rules as described below here, can give you a good example of what you can expect.
4.1 General rules The most important rule is, that your pleasure is completely submitted to his, or to put it otherwise: if you're horny and get an orgasm, that's very nice, but not his goal. Fortunately though, most girls get very horny when they obey a dominant man, and get used by him. But even if you get one orgasm after the other, in first place it's about his pleasure. That is the right attitude for a girl in your position. You don't cum without his permission. You ask for it, in time, and not when you can't hold it back anymore, but also not too early, because if he allows you to cum, you have to be able to cum within a matter of seconds. You will have to learn to reach an orgasm in a short time period, because he can give you the task to masturbate yourself on any given time of the day, even when you where doing something else. It's less difficult then what it may sounds like, because you will notice you are always a bit horny in his presence. If he's using you in a sexual manner, in any way, react quickly and accurate to his lead. A short hesitation or mistake you make, often get punished, and rightfully so, because otherwise you will never learn. Concentrate on his voice and try, when you're blindfolded or looking at the ground, to understand where he is and what he's doing. Obeying doesn't mean letting him do things passively to you, but actively strive for his pleasure and approval. So if he wants you in a certain position, he shouldn't need to be pull at you, like your a ragdoll, but try to quickly understand in what position he wants you, and take that position. You don't look at him, unless he calls out your name, or lifts up your chin. You don't say anything, unless when spoken or asked to. Never close your mouth completely, but keep your lips parted a little bit and make sure they're moist, to suggest that you're 'open' as a reference to your pussy. And after he came, or you made you cum, you will thank him.
4.2 Exposing yourself A man can 'own' you in a variety of ways; by fucking you, spanking you, commanding you, but also just by looking at you. The gaze of a man you obey burning on your skin. Consciously aware of how you expose yourself to him.
4.2.1 Kneeling, crawling, walking and standing If he makes you kneel you keep your legs spread and your hands behind your back. Your eyes are focused on the ground. He could make you wait a while, while nothing happens, but he can also touch you, or say something to you. Keep kneeling until he commands you to do something else. You can kneel in two ways, and if he doesn't tell you in which way to kneel, it is your task to interpret which way he desires you to kneel in:
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Sitting on your feet You kneel and spread your legs as far as possible, laying on foot over the other. Next you sit on your feet so that not only your butt sticks outwards, but also spread. 'Standing' You kneel, with your knees approximately 11 inches apart, but don't sit down. Your legs are in a 90 degree angle, and you push your butt outwards. Your feet point inwards. In both positions you can bend over, making your head touch the floor. This position is useful if you feel he wants to fuck you, or if you've done something wrong, and want to avoid punishment. Sometimes he will make you crawl on hands and knees. Make sure your butt sticks up, and move graciously, and keep your eyes on the floor. If he stops you, stick out your butt even more, and spread your legs a little bit more, giving him a good view on your pussy and ass. Sometimes he will spank you while crawling, or leading you on a leash, while you keep in mind you're his little bitch, who needs to be taught and trained. If you're naked or half-naked and you're not wearing any shoes or boots, you will walk on your toes, and twist and turn more with your butt then normal. If you're standing, you will stretch out your back, making your butt and breasts stick outwards. You keep your hands folded behind your back if he's in front of you, or fold your hands in front of your crotch if he's behind you.
4.2.2 Offering yourself When he's at the point of fucking you (but also at other moments), he can command you to 'offer yourself'. Because there are three ways in which he can penetrate you, what you do is depending on the situation. If he's in front of you, you kneel at his feet, with your arms behind your back, and open your mouth after you've licked your lips. If he's behind you, you kneel with your legs spread wide, lay your head on the floor, while you spread your butt cheeks. If you're on your back, you spread your legs as wide as possible, and open with the thumb and index finger of both hands your pussy. You keep offering yourself in that way, until he fucks you, or makes you do something else. Concentrate on his presence and the void you hope he will fill.
4.2.3 Masturbation One word from him is enough to make you horny, and he will often, sometimes unexpected, give you the order to masturbate for him. You know you're hornyness on itself is not his goal, you are masturbating because he enjoys watching it. So turn it into a good show. Change positions every now and then, don't just play with your clit, but insert your fingers into your pussy and ass. If he gives you a dildo or vibrator, use it, but not the whole time. Spank your pussy, squeeze your nipples, kneed your breasts. Don't just show him how horny you are, make him hear it as well. And finally, always ask him permission to cum.
4.2.4 Photo's and video's Sometimes he will make pictures or video's of you, for his own collection, or to show other people. You will expose yourself in the same way you do otherwise, with the slight
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difference, that you slow down a bit. Try and think about the light and shadows as you pose. Know what you are showing him. Most likely, the idea that he will who others the footage he took of you, will turn you on. That's as it's suppose to be: the sluttier you will behave, the more beautiful the footage will become. Posing isn't easy. There's an extensive range of postures and movements that do good on film and photo. You can ask for permission to watch some porn if you think it will give you some new inspiration and good ideas.
4.3 Massages You will learn to do massages, since you can offer great pleasure to him with that after coming home from a long day of work, and it's an excellent introduction to other activities. Don't be scared to take charge when he asks you to massage him: it's part of the deal. He totally wants to be relaxed, and doesn't want to tell you to this now, and that next. Take that opportunity to surprise him with new techniques you came up with, for example, by starting to lick his balls. Do make sure you watch his reaction whenever you decide to improvise. If you notice he approves what you're doing, continue with it, and try to do something more. Perhaps you will get the chance to give him a blowjob, or jerk him off. Perhaps he will even allow it, if you kneel on top of him, and make him cum inside your pussy, without even making him move (also see 'Obey and taking initiative').
4.4 Bondage Many dominant men enjoy tying you up. There are also some dominant man who don't like that at all. The ropes and cuffs with which he restraints you, can symbolize your submission perhaps more for you, then for him. Sometimes he can leave you in bondage alone for a longer period, as a way of punishment. He will also blindfold you, making you feel even more submitted to him, or, for instance, so that you won't be able to recognize the other present people (also see 'Sex with other men and groupsex'). Try, when you're in bondage or blindfolded, to be more aware of what you're showing him. That you can't move, doesn't mean you can't do anything at all: you are still minding your posture and how you move. Concentrate on his voice, and keep in mind you gave him the right to do with you whatever he wants. You are now, in first place, a pussy, ass and mouth for him, an instrument for his pleasure. You are lucky he's willing to use you. Sometimes he will tie you in such a way, he can easily spank or fuck you. If you're, for instance, bend over a table with your ankles and wrists tied, you're standing with legs spread wide, and your butt sticks out nice. Now he can switch between fucking you, in your pussy and your ass, and there's nowhere to go. Maybe he will add a gag, so you can't scream. It speaks for itself that you're not going to let yourself be tied up by a man you don't trust. After all, bondage isn't without any risks at all: your wrists and ankles could become stick, and if there's a fire, you need to be able to untie yourself in a matter of seconds.
4.5 Blowjobs and licking If he orders you to give him a blowjob, you need to consider it a privilege. You worship his cock, everything in the world is less important than his rod. It is after all his cock that gives him power over you. It works in both ways: you submit yourself to the person he is by
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submitting to his cock, literally, by allowing him to penetrate you and by considering his erection and semen as the most important victory you can achieve, and on the other hand it is his personality that makes this cock everything that is masculine about him, and therefore allows him to penetrate you in every way imaginable, at every moment, exactly the way he wants to. If you can show him this attitude while you blow him and lick his balls, you're doing a good job. Blow him as if your life depends on it, like you're starved and want nothing more than to feel his cum in your mouth. As a submissive girl you truly are always hungry for his cock. You only feel yourself when he enters you. Blowjobs and licking a cock is an activity in which you can improvise a lot: how and how fast you suck him, when you start licking the tip or taking the balls into your mouth. Do pay attention however to his directions, understand how he wants to steer your head and keep watching how he reacts to your skills. If he wants to retreat his cock from your mouth, for instance to fuck you or spank his cock in your face, release him immediately, but do keep your mouth open so he can put it right back in. Sometimes he would like you to be totally passive, meaning that he basically 'fucks your face'. In that case, make sure you open your lips far enough to let his cock in, but close enough to seal your lips around it. Put your tongue in the front part of your mouth, just above your lower teeth, and limit yourself to sucking gently. If he retreats himself for a moment, lick past your lips with your tongue, without closing your mouth, and wait, without moving, until he continues. If he allows you to be more active, then not just use your mouth and tongue, but also your hands, if he allows that. By sliding his cock through your hands, while you take it in your mouth, you enlarge the effect, because you're both sucking and stroking him. And make sure he's got something to watch while you blow him, your breasts, your butt, how stick a finger in your ass. Some men will want you to concentrate on the tip of their cock, but most men prefer a deep fellatio, in where he fucks you deep in your throat. If he's in your throat, try and swallow, it gives him a very special sensation. If a man sticks his cock in your throat, you can experience the feeling of suffocating or throwing up. That first thing will never happen, it is a fear you would need to outgrow. If you get the feeling of having to throw up, try and slow it down a little, but keep trying, with some practice, you can totally learn to control that reflex. Switch between licking and sucking his cock, except when he's ready to cum, then you'll continue what you were doing, until he's finished. If you're licking his balls, open your mouth wide open, so that the area your tongue can touch it larger. Lick the skin between his balls and his anus, and if he's okay with it, his anus itself. You have to be careful with that, because some men do want to be licked there, but don't allow your tongue (or anything else) to penetrate their anus. If you notice he's ready to cum, pay good attention to what he wants. Perhaps he wants to cum in your mouth, or perhaps over your face, or perhaps he doesn't want to cum at all yet and you have to slow it down or leave him alone completely. Making him cum too soon, is your mistake while you're giving a blowjob, and he will punish you for it. If he wants to give you a facial, don't close your eyes and keep your mouth wide open. If he tells you to look him in the eyes, you don't lose his eyes out of your sight, not even when he's cumming all over your face. His cum may sting in your eyes, but you're happy he allowed you to watch him cum.
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4.6 Getting fucked A girl doesn't fuck, she gets fucked. If there's one thing you should remember about this handbook, it should be that. All the rest is a simple consequence of that fact. The sexual act is not symmetrical, your pussy is being opened by a cock, with a single thrust. The man enters you, and takes possession of you. Why else does a girl moan when she fucks with a man? She seems to whine and whimper, as if it hurts her. He growls, as if he's angry with her, or like a predator tearing apart his prey. That's how simple it is, each deasant fuck is like half a rape. That doesn't mean to say, that whatever he does, you just simply lay there passively. Sometimes he would like that, but most of the time you can show your passion by doing things. You can move your hips to meet with his thrusts, or push your ass up when he's taking you from behind. But no matter how active you may become, nothing changes in the roles between you two. Even when you're on top of him 'riding him', it's still his cock that penetrates you, and not the other way around. Your pussy is, to put it more romantically, the bulls-eye in which he shoots his arrow. He is the hunter, and you are the prey. Maybe you're an enthusiastic prey, who likes to be hunted down, but it doesn't take away that he takes you, and you're being taken. Of course there are many men, of the non-dominant sort, who can't understand that, and you can be the hunter. You can seduce them, and use their cocks to fill the emptiness in your stomach, and to cum over. There's nothing against that. But in the end you're missing something, because in the end it's not about that cock, or cumming, but about the sensation of being taken. Only then, when a man takes complete possession of you, you will feel like a complete woman. If you're being fucked by a dominant man you have to show in everything that you do, that you understand how the relations between the two of you really are, and that you want to be his prey. You surrender to him by offering yourself to him, by spreading your legs to him and opening up your pussy. You try to understand how he wants you, in that position, and what else he desires from you: if he wants you to moan, talk dirty, or just be quiet and show your submission to him only with your body. Even when he takes pleasure in fucking you like you're a rag doll, you can more or less show your enthusiasm in that. It's not easy being a good rag doll. Remember that his pleasure always precedes yours. If he wants to fuck you slow, don't try and speed up the pace because you're close to cumming. If you're clit is aching for attention, for instance because he's not penetrating you deep enough, or is taking you from behind, you can ask his permission to masturbate while he's fucking you, but only if you'll think he will agree. And if he hurts you, by fucking you roughly, spanking or hitting you, pulling your hair, you will call out as loud and often 'Ouch!' as he likes to hear. The idea behind it is not that you're acting: when you're really ready for it that you want to submit to your man, is everything that you to do to please him also for you the horniest and most satisfying thing you could do. You're hornyness becomes a reflection of his. If he enjoys denying you an orgasm for a long period, then on one side it is very frustrating, but on the other side an enormous turn-on, because you can see how much he enjoys owning you in this way. It's not about what happens with you, if he likes the same positions as you do and how much times you cum. For you it's much more important that you're being used by him, that he thinks you're worth the trouble of fucking you, and lives out his pleasures on you. Make sure your pussy is smooth and tight. And you will learn to, when you're getting fucked, use your pelvic muscles to squeeze and relax when you feel he's almost ready to cum. By squeezing your pelvic muscles, you will give him the feeling his cock is getting sucked inside your pussy.
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Be aware of, even when you're getting fucked, gets to see you, and give him a good show, without overacting like you're in a porn movie. Take, if he appreciates it, small initiatives: while he's fucking you, stick a finger in your ass, as if you're inviting him to fuck your ass too.
4.6.1 Positions The man who will fuck you will make you understand how he wants to fuck you. Quickly take the right position and show your availability. About some positions we will go a bit more into detail. From behind (doggy-style) This is the most natural position, which also gives the best expression to the relation between the man who fucks and the girl who is being fucked. It's not by accident that some girls, who aren't ready to face their female desires, experience this position as humiliating. When you're on hands and knees being fucked you indeed are nothing more than a female animal, a bitch being humped. You can lay your head on the floor or the bed, or lean on your hands or elbows, but in any case your butt sticks up high, with an arched back. Don't push too much back, because that will limit the force of his thrusts. This position is of course also very good for anal sex, and you can give him the right idea by placing your hands on your buttocks while he's fucking you and spreading your ass for him. Further than that, a man can also, because he's got your butt in reach of his hands, simultaneously (or switch) between fucking and spanking you. On your side The good thing about this position, is that a man can easily adjust your position and can touch you everywhere. He can press your legs against each other, making your pussy even tighter, but he can also lift your legs and hold them while he penetrates you. This position is perhaps the most passive position for a girl, she doesn't need to do anything, almost as if she were asleep and woke up by a cock penetrating her. But of course there are many things you can do, like spreading your ass cheeks with one hand to give him better access to your asshole and prepare for what may come, or start playing with your breasts. Standing If he's fucking you while you're standing and bending over, arch your back, as much as possible, making your butt stick out as far as possible. A curling back isn't pretty or sexy, and you have to make sure you're always easy accessible. Sometimes he will make you bend over a table, making your upper body horizontal and you can hold on the edges of the table. The advantage of that, is that you're much more stable, so he can thrust you harder. So be prepared for a long, rough fuck. If he's making you stand up completely to fuck, stick out your butt ass far behind as you can, and put your feet wide apart so he can easily penetrate you. This position is also good for switching between fucking and whipping: twenty thrusts, twenty strikes, twenty thrusts, twenty strikes... If you're being fucked standing, with your faces towards each other, make sure you twist your pelvis good enough, so he can penetrate you deep enough.
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On your back The position has more possibilities then just the missionary position, in which you're just laying with your legs spread wide undergoing things. He can lift up your legs, spread them, close them, press your knees against your breasts, or put a pillow underneath your butt to switch between fucking your ass and your pussy. Because your beasts are in hands reach, it is easier for him to massage, squeeze or hit them (either by hands or another object). He can put his fingers in your mouth and make you suck on them, grab you by your throat, or hit you in your face. With this position it is, even more so then with other positions, important how you show yourself. Show how you squirm and by making faces, you can show him you're his horny slut, that doesn't want anything else but to get fucked. If you do that very good in this position it can, even though it is the most conservative, descent position, recommended by the church, become something perverse and unnatural, as a deviation from the natural position from behind. Girl on top This is a position that some dominant men don't like, because it seems a little bit of the 'world upside down', in where the girl 'rides' the man. But like said before, it is even in this position that his cock enters you, and you can also like a submissive girl be 'on top' of him in a submissive way. Think about his pleasure, and not yours. You may get the drift to rub your clit against him, but he doesn't receive much pleasure from that. No matter what you do, you have to continue the pumping motion, of pumping his cock in and out of your pussy. Learn the quick motions of your pelvis, like belly dancers do, and apply it while you're on top of him. But also circular motions, and every now and then move way up, so that you almost loose grip of his cock inside your pussy, but never lose it completely. If you're facing him, play with your breasts, pull your nipples, lick your lips, and if you're in reverse, keep your back straight and give him a good view of your butt. Watch his reactions: as soon as he signals you to change positions, you get off him and you're ready to move into another position. Beyond that, the same rules apply when you're getting fucked, as in chapter 4.2 'Exposing yourself'.
4.7 Anal sex Most dominant men will fuck you as often in your ass as they would fuck you in your pussy. A lot of girls got big problems with that in the beginning. A lot of girls experience it as humiliating when a man prefers their anus, because it was 'not intended' for penetration. And above all it's often painful for the girl, especially when she's not used to it. And it's exactly because it's humiliating and painful for you that most men enjoy fucking you in your asshole, besides the fact that your ass is tighter than your pussy. You accept as submissive girl the pain and humiliation, it even turns you on, and perhaps even more once you understand why you feel so humiliated. In essence a man who fucks you in your ass, shows you he doesn't need you most female body part: he uses you to make himself cum, and simply picks the tightest orifice. He could do the same with a boy, and denies with that your female existence. On the same time, because for you being a female is equal to being submissive, it makes you feel even more like a women. Of course your ass isn't 'meant' for penetration. So when a make fucks you in your ass, he's basically abusing you, in the most literal way of the word. You accept it. And that
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your clit isn't getting stimulated doesn't matter for you, because it's not about your pleasure, it's about his. There are some girls who get so accustomed to anal sex that pain plays no part in it anymore, and for whom it doesn't matter anymore if they get fucked in their ass or their pussy. That might seem like something to strive for, but just because the pain it causes you ads to the pleasure of the man, it's not an advantage to experience it that way. A man can order you to wear a short, special dildo or buttplug, to show you that this is also an orifice that needs to be accessible to him, but fortunately your ass doesn't get any less tighter from that: otherwise the pain would become a thing of the past. So if you're being fucked in your ass, it doesn't hurt to show and let him hear it hurts you. At the same time you have to show the man you submit to, by everything you do, that you don't just accept that he determines what happens, but that you also desire for it. So you have to strike a balance between something that looks like a protest (because you're in pain), and on the other side total surrender (because he can do with you whatever he likes). You can spread your ass cheeks at the same time that you're crying or screaming in pain, or ask him (if you're allowed to talk) not so spare you, to rip your ass open with his cock, to use you like a cheap little whore. It speaks for itself that the man you obey must take care of the risks. With unprotected or too rough anal sex comes a big risk. A man who knows what he's doing will take the necessary precautions (use the right condoms, lubricant, etc.). You can on your part do a lot, by trying to relax yourself when he's fucking your ass. Most girls start to enjoy anal sex after a while anyway, and you can show that as well. Make sure, like always, he can penetrate you easily. Adjust the position of your pelvis and don't lose your posture, even though you might get tired or hurt. He will be proud when he sees how brave you keep pushing up your butt to him with conviction, while the tears are in your eyes. If you haven't met the man yet you want to submit to, you can ask yourself the question if it's such a good idea to allow him to fuck your ass. Maybe you'll do that still unknown future dominant man a pleasure by keeping that privilege to him (also see chapter 3.6 'Experiment').
4.8 Spanking and humiliation Many dominant men enjoy, while they use you in a sexual way, to spank and humiliate you. That is not a punishment, because it doesn't happen in a reaction to something you didn't do or did wrong, but it's also not a 'game'. A dominant man knows for a reason, that you as a girl naturally gravitate towards any man who knows how to handle you and let him fuck you, and by calling you slut and whore he puts you in your place. He spanks you, to show you your pleasure is not important, but his is. He ensures you keep connecting being horny with humiliation, because that is the essence of female sexuality. By using and abusing you in this way, you will start to understand your own feelings better. Some men prefer it if women put up a bit of a fight and struggle. Try to find out what he wants to see, and adjust yourself to that. Answer his questions, even if you have to humiliate yourself with that. If he wants to hear what you are, then you answer you're his bitch, a slut, a whore. If he asks you if you deserve to be spanked, you immediately know a number of reasons why you indeed need that. In the beginning it can be difficult for you to accept that he treats you in this way, since you're trying to do the best you can to be everything that he wants. You will however, discover that at a certain point, you pass a certain boundary. In time, you will experience,
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the way he treats and manhandles you, the way he insults and humiliates you, to be liberating. Because to him you don't need to keep up appearances, and don't have to deny you're a horny little slut, he can give you more than any man on the world. He is the only one who can see you for what and who you truly are.
4.9 Sex with girls Sometimes a dominant man will want you to have sex with other girls. He can participate in that, or just watch. It speaks for itself you do as you're told. Perhaps you've got some experience with lesbian sex, or perhaps not, and it could happen that you look up to it in the beginning because you consider yourself to be 100% heterosexual. In that case you're making a mistake: there are no 'purely' heterosexual women. While over two third of the adult males have no sexual desires for other men, almost all girls have lesbian fantasies and a big portion of them also puts them into reality. You're horny feelings simply don't limit itself to just men. You can feel attracted to another girl, and feel like you want to do everything with her, more or less like a man, except that you have no cock to penetrate her with. If you've come to terms with your submissive and slutty desires, you cannot pass on this part of your erotic desires. You have no idea what you're missing out on, en more important: the man whom you submit to will sooner or later get another girl into the game. You will discover the things you do to her, eventually you do for him and his pleasure, and the boundary you will have to cross would be a lot easier to cross, once you realize how it pleases him. And before you know it you got the taste of it. You will also discover that the man whom you submit to also has the solution for the problem that you can't fuck the girl you got the hots for, because he can fuck her. Don't be surprised if you notice you want him to give it to her hard, not just while he's fucking her, but also when he's using the whip and other ways. It turns you on the way he humiliates and uses her, and it can't get hard enough for you. That's not as weird as it may seem. You can see with your own eyes now just how dominant he is, and you praise yourself to be happy he is willing to give you that same attention. Even when you're not yet experienced with a girl you know, if you know your own body well enough, exactly how to touch and lick her to make her horny as hell. Like always you're conscious about what you show the man you obey, that's after all what it's all about. You play with the girl, like an instrument for him. If he fucks the other girl, perhaps after you've 'prepared' her by licking her cunt and ass, stay close, because he may want you to spread her ass for him or that you lick his balls while he's penetrating her. Or maybe he likes to switch between her pussy and yours. The man you obey will have little patience with jealousy. If you'll think he's only allowed to fuck you, you are sadly mistaking. You deny yourself too much by getting yourself dragged into such taught ideas and: you where the one looking for a dominant man? If you'll not allow yourself to enjoy his dominance, even when it's focused on other girls, you're missing half the things what this is all about. Up until now we've only talked about 'occasional' girls, who just every now and then get involved by sexual activities, but quite often a dominant man has more than just one girl. If the man you obey has other girls, then what we just talked about jealousy goes even stronger. Try to distinguish the difference between doing your best, which is always a good thing to do, and trying to compete with the other girls, which also ends up badly. If he chooses to surround himself with more than one girl, he doesn't do that to keep himself occupied with bitch-fights and whining. Ask yourself the question if this really is the man you want to submit to, that means to say: if his wishes and choices are always more important
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than yours? If the answer to that question is 'yes', then make sure he gains nothing but pleasure from the interaction between you and the other girls around him.
4.10 Sex with other men and groupsex It's not secret to a dominant man, and it shouldn't be one to you as well, that every girl is basically a whore. You can surrender to one man and obey him and totally focus on him, but with that this aspect of your female side hasn't disappeared. You can tell yourself and others that you don't need sex with other men, and perhaps you would like that to be true, but monogamy still stays unnatural behavior. Of course you won't any man fuck (or even touch or kiss) you as long as the man whom you submit to doesn't approve it. Some dominant men restrict their girls to strict monogamy. There are others who want you to have sex with as many other people as much as possible, even when they're not there. But most dominant men will keep it in the middle of these two extremes. They enjoy it to lend you sometimes to a friend or by letting you get into group sex every now and then. If you get the task (or permission) from the man you obey, to have sex with another man, you need to remind yourself you're not 'free' all of the sudden. Whether he's present or not, you constantly would need to ask yourself how he would judge over you. If he let's get fucked by a friend of him you are to obey his friend at that moment. It could mean that there are limitations, but within those limitations you surrender and obey yourself completely. Some dominant men don't allow their girls anal sex with others, or the other way around, they can only offer them their ass and not their pussy. Also spanking and other forms of humiliation can be limited by a dominant man, which the man you are lend to will have to respect. For groupsex goes the same thing. You want to satisfy the man you submit to, and that means giving everything within the limitations he has given you. Look around you to see if you can be of service to anyone, in any way at all. You won't have to ask yourself if the other girls present at the occasions are also submissive or not and if you need to obey them, or treat them as your equal. By expecting that you need to obey everyone you can make a lot less mistakes. If you see a girl having trouble with what's happening, try and help her. You are probably more capable then all the other present, and you would like it as well if someone helped you in that situation. Finally: don't be embarrasses to show you're a horny slut who can't get enough about all the cocks penetrating you, all the hands groping and feeling you, and all the tongues licking you. You know what you are and what you want, you have made the right choice with the man you've submit to, he gave you the rules to obey, so you can let yourself go.
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5. Discipline It may be clear to you now: if you want to be the girl or one of the girls of a dominant man, you will have to learn to do the things the way he likes you to do it. It's not that easy, because you may have your own ideas, habits and opinions about things, because it requires attention and stamina to adjust yourself to his wishes. That is why it's important to realize that you choose to be the girl of a dominant man, and that this is why you cannot expect decisions to be made in a democratic way. The discipline he puts on you becomes a natural limitation in your freedom, but it's good to think about what 'freedom' really is. Does 'freedom' mean always being able to do what you want? In all sorts of situations in life such an attitude in life is a good recipe for disaster and failure, even in relationships between men and women this idea of 'freedom' brings nothing but misery. It's good when one person is in control and one person is the 'boss', and if you've read this handbook thus far you apparently agree with that opinion that it should be the man (and you're right about that). If you know about yourself that you want to submit to a man, because he's worth your submission, you have to be glad with his guidance and the way he trains and disciplines you. Sometimes he will punish you, for instance by putting you over his knees, and instead of trying to resist to that you need to try and embrace it to learn something from it. He will never spank or hit you because he's angry with you and loses his temper or 'taking it out on you', if he does, get the hell out of there. A dominant man punishes his girl to adjust and correct her. He can however 'just' spank you, without that you've done something wrong, to make you realize that he is in charge. With that he's helping you, because it will be difficult for you to accept and realize that you're submitting to him. Because of the reason that you know yourself as a girl capable of making her own decisions in life, discipline and punishment are an important and vital part of your relationship.
5.1 Obey and taking initiative A girl who only does what she is told is nothing more than a living doll, and there's no dominant man who will settle for that. Obeying is an important asset for a girl, if she found a man who is worthy of her submission, but it takes a lot more than just that. Or, to put it differently: obeying goes beyond 'doing whatever he says'. There are dozens of small things a girl can do to make a man happy, and she can do it before he even asks for it, and even before he thinks about asking her. If you're familiar with his habits, you know when to take certain initiatives, from putting on that one skirt to making a cup of coffee or opening and closing windows. Even those non-erotic things have got everything to do with your sexual relationship between a man and the girl who submits to him. In the end there is no difference between pouring him a glass of wine so he doesn't need to get up and spreading your ass cheeks with both hands so he can fuck you in your ass. With both actions you display to him you are willing to be of service to him and you can do them both with the same grace and submission. Obeying also means you are willing to be compliant and open minded. You follow him in everything that he does, in all thinkable situations. But 'compliant' is not the same as 'passive' or 'careless', and 'open minded' is not the same thing as 'naive' or 'child-like'. A dominant man gains no pleasure from the submission of a dumb, slow or easily influenced girl. Only an intelligent girl, capable of making her own choices can really submit to him, a girl who can't take a small 'bump' doesn't really submit, but simple lets a man decide out of fear or being lazy. That's quite something different.
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Giving yourself doesn't mean with that simply offering your body to him and doing whatever he tells you to, but also being resourceful and using your imagination to take initiative in which he can find his pleasure. In the end that is as much a form of submission, because he desires initiative from you, and the other way around your submission to him was your initiative in the first place, because you chose it. If you can find a good balance between obeying him and taking initiative in everything that you do for him he will not find many reasons to punish you.
5.2 Punishment When a man whom you submit to isn't happy with the way you're performing he can me the decision to punish you. Asking if he has the right to do that it just as useless as asking if he's got the right to fuck you. Between those two things are after all a direct connection: for a dominant man it speaks for itself that the woman he owns (that means to say: uses the way it suits him the best) also gets punished when she doesn't live up to his expectations. Besides that he gains pleasure from spanking, beating and humiliating you, or uses it to put you in your place. A girl needs it, to be 'corrected' by the man she loves. If you know yourself and the girls around you, you know every girl has her issues every now and then. Especially with the man who fucks her, she can often make a fuzz over nothing. That's not just a way of asking for attention (and not the smartest way, she can achieve more by twisting her booty), but also a challenge, she's hoping he will put her back in her place, she's begging in a way, often without even realizing it, for a spanking. She may have all sort of ideas about being equal in a relationship between a man and a woman, but her respect for him is depending on the question if he can put her back where she belongs when she's making a fuzz, which is on her knees. Many girls aren't aware of this, but do head for these confrontations, and if they lose these confrontations they're very happy, because that means they've found a man that doesn't like to be messed around with. There are however also girls who are aware of how these things work, but keep resisting to this idea. From these kind of girls a dominant quickly looses interest. For him it's obvious and nothing but normal that a girl needs guidance and punishment and that he's the one to do that, by making her submit to him, both out of the bad as well as in bed, and be regularly putting her over his knees, or making her feel the whip or belt. If you're honest you will have to admit that you desire to be spanked by the man you submit yourself to. It turns you on when you imagine that he calls you and tells you to expose your ass to him, to give you a good spanking. If you really decide to submit yourself to a man, that means he can fuck, spank, humiliate and command you every way he likes to. He won't ask you for permission first. You're submission is absolute, otherwise you can't call it submission. You're his, and everything he does to you is good in your opinion. If he spanks you with his belt, so you still got bruises two weeks later on your ass, then apparently you've deserved that. You want him to spank you, as often and hard as he wants and needs to, and it makes you horny as well. Perhaps it's difficult for you to accept that you would want something like that. That's why it's important to understand where these feelings come from. It could originate from the spanking you've received from your father when you where a little girl, which is more common than you might think, but even when he never spanked you, you can still discover those needs to be chastised. If he spanks you or punishes you in any other way it becomes clear to you like never before, for you and for him, that you submit yourself to him, otherwise you would never accept it. A rough fuck in where the man takes charge can still be fun, but punishment is punishment, even if it turns you on to be spanked by a belt or a whip,
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or feeling the humiliation, it's not a nice feeling. But by receiving your punishment you discover, time after time, what your place is. You feel strangely save and protected, because he is hurting you. Your doubts about your submission disappear under his beating. You accept, without a lot of protest (a bit of whimpering is charming) your punishment. That could be spanking, out of humiliation, for a special 'task', or out of deprivation.
5.2.1 Over the knee The most traditional way of punishment is a spanking 'over the knee'. He's sitting on a chair and lets you bend over on his legs, with your head down on one side and your feet touching the floor on the other side, pushing your butt up high. If he hasn't told you to (partially) undress yourself he can lift up your skirt or dress, pull down your pants, or perhaps he will just spank you while you're being dressed through your clothes, for instance because he doesn't have much time. Most men will allow you to shout out your pain and cry, but not to comment of course. The amount of spanking you'll get depends of course on what you've done wrong and on how much fun he's having spanking you. If you're trying to escape it he will hold you tighter, and such an attempt to try and escape your punishment will certainly make your ass even more red. It's a better idea to comply with the spanking he's giving you. There are men who won't stop until you're crying. Even when you think to outsmart him by producing quickly some tears, even when the pain is not that bad, he will punish you even more.
5.2.2 The belt, the whip, the cane Besides the traditional spanking, there are a number of other ways in which a dominant man you submit yourself to can beat you with. It can happen while you're standing, for instance with your hands against the wall and pushing your butt outwards, but also while you're kneeling, with year face on the floor. Sometimes he will restrain you, for instance with bondage, or give another girl the task of restraining you, while he's beating you. He can use different 'instruments' to beat you with. We will mention some: Cat o' nine tails A whip containing a handle with a number of leather strings, sometimes with buttons at the end. Also shortened to 'the cat'. The cat can be used on your butt, breasts, belly, thighs and pussy and leaves red stripes. Cane A rattan cane of about 3 inches, easy to bend, and sometimes with a curve at one end serving as a handle. Is primarily used on your butt, thighs and soles of your feet and makes very recognizable double red stripes on the skin, sometimes, when you've been beaten hard with it, surrounded by long bruises. Belt A regular belt can be used very well for a beating, sometimes after first being folded double. Leaves, depending on the length and force of the strokes, red or blue bruises, of the same width as the belt itself. Get used on your butt, thighs, and sometimes also on your breasts and pussy.
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Riding crop A hard not very bendable whip that usually gets used for horses. Sometimes with a flat piece of leather on the end, that gets used to create burning 'licks' for instance on your nipples or pussy. Whip A so called bull whip as can be seen in a circus. Can be used on your back, thighs and ass. This long whip is hard to handle and therefore can be dangerous. You're getting nervous about all these descriptions? You're right. The man who wants to hit you with one of these has to be able to use the properly. It speaks for itself that this hurts and that marks left on your skin may be visible for a week or two, but it's certainly not the goal to leave scars. Above all there are areas in which you cannot use them, like your back, the area of your kidneys, and neck. It's a bad idea on itself to submit to a man who had no idea what he's doing, but it gets even worse when whips and sorts get involved. Remember at those moments, each time again, you're the once choosing for submitting to him. If you don't completely trust him, don't let him hit or spank you. Or even better: find another man.
5.2.3 Deprivation Another way to punish you is by deprivation. Which could mean that during a certain period you're denied to orgasm, for instance, while he does allow you to masturbate. But he can also decide to keep you on the 'dry' by not fucking you at all, and above all forbidding you to masturbate yourself at all. If he normally permits you to have sex with other men, he can withdraw that permission, for instance because he's not happy with the choice of your sexual partners, or when another men you've fucked isn't happy with your sexual performances. There are also non-sexual forms of deprivation. He can deny you to go outside, to talk, to call people, to watch TV, to smoke, etc. Usually a deprivation has a direct connection with a mistake you made: he can for instance deny you to use a PC or laptop for a week when he thinks you're wasting too much time surfing the net or chatting.
5.2.4 Punishment assignments Your punishment will sometimes be in the form of an assignment. Of course he's already giving you constantly assignments and tasks because he enjoys it when you do something for him and constantly remind you that you're submitting to him, but a punishment assignment has a specific character. Here goes as well, just like many other forms of deprivation, there is usually a connection between your 'sin' and the 'punishment'. If you came without asking for permission he can give you the assignment to masturbate yourself until you had thirty orgasms in a row (and that's a real punishment!), or he can make you suck the cocks of twenty-four men in twenty-four hours making them cum on your face without cleaning your face, because he thought you were acting too slutty (or too arrogant) in public lately. But he could also make you clean the whole house because you where clumsy and made a stain on a book. Punishment assignment are very useful to make you realize your place and position. When you're nude and on hands and knees scrubbing the floor, it's much easier to realize that you really want to obey him, because you would never accept such a humiliation from anyone else. In the future you will try to do better.
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5.3 After the punishment You've accepted your punishment and bravely underwent it, but it's not over yet. Now it's all up to you to show you've learned from it. Therefore the first thing you'll do is thank the man who punished you. It could happen that he closes you into his arms and comforts you if you're crying, but don't count on it. Sometimes he will make you do something different after the punishment, but he may also just leave you alone, so you can rethink your mistakes and think of new ways to show your dedication to him. If he normally allows you to take a lot of initiative and you have a good idea to surprise him with, don't hesitate. It's good for a man to know the girl he spends so much of his time and attention to also puts time and effort in things to make things up. It could also be possible that right after he punishes you he will fuck you straight away, and a better way to show your gratitude isn't imaginable. And when you laying next to him afterward and you know how much pleasure he gained from you, you will be happy with the marks on your ass and the sound of his breath, and there's nothing in the world that you will be missing in that moment.
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6. Final word If you thought by reading this handbook life would be easier, then think again. A girl who wants to submit herself to a man who's worth it, has to go through a lot of trouble to meet up to his demands. And if you're looking up to that by now, it's better not to start at all. But if by reading this, it already confirmed what you knew about yourself and what you wanted, and gave you some clues here and there, then the author succeeded in it's success. Of course this is nothing more than a short introduction, but even a handbook that goes much further into this subject could be no replacement to personal instructions. And yet again: every dominant man has its own likes and dislikes, which could differ strongly from the author. If you still have questions after reading this handbook, you can reach the author on this email address:
[email protected]
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7. Appendix: recommended literature If you want to read more about the female sexuality, submission, dominant men and related subjects, the next few books are recommended to be a good choice: Sade, Philosophy in the Bedroom Pauline Réage, Story of O Angela Carter , The Sadeian Woman and the Ideology of Pornography Helene Deutsch, The Psychology of Women Sigmund Freud, Introductory Lectures in Psychoanalysis Henry Miller, Under the roofs of Paris Sina Alina Geissler, Lust an der Unterwerfung. Frauen bekennen sich zum Masochismus
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