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The Link between Porn, Sex, Love and Happiness F i r st po post in i n a 5-par 5-par t ser ser i es on the the basic si c ele elem ments of of  Ma  M anho nhood for for bo boys and men. As males use porn because it creates a feeling  a feeling  of  of happiness. We also have to know all the ‘baggage’ that comes with porn use, the baggage that actuall y holds you back from  being a ‘complete’ man. As humans we are after connections that satisfy our need need for human intimacy –  intimacy –  this  this makes us happy, real  happy.  happy. This happiness lasts a long time and makes those around us happy. ‘Porn Happy’ Happy ’ is the opposite. Happiness from porn can keep you locked in Boyhood Boyhood when your your true journey is Manhood. I learned these lessons the hard way; 1. The problem is porn isn’t real. Even short porn videos take hours, sometimes days to film. I love long-lasting, multi-orgasmic sex wit h my partner, so I can tell you that the positions that these guys have sex in a re purely for the camera and the viewer. Real sex is SLOW and DEEP. Porn is fast and shallow. Real sex is CLOSE and SENSUAL. Porn is stiff, mechanical and without connection. Not to mention they are actors. 2. Men replace a real need for human love and connection with a fake one.  I was addicted to porn for years. I loved it during at t he time though. Of course I did; when you are young and inexperienced porn satisfies all your insecurities and curiosities surrounding sex and the female sexual anatomy. I anatomy.  I get it. I it. I suffered from chronic premature ejaculation ejaculation for 14 years. I couldn’t have satisfying, intimate sex with girls so I went online to satisfy my sexual desires. The danger is that you get used to using porn to satisfy a real need that you aren’t getting in real life. The issue causing that real need could be;   

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You are single and not getting any sex/are a virgin. You are in a relationship but not getting any sex/suffer premature ejaculation. You are single, lucky enough to be getting casual sex but not intimate connection. You are in a relationship, having sex but without the intimate connection. You are having sex but crave the intimate, non-sexual connection of someone else (perhaps you crave the love, connection or acceptance of a parent).

Guess what? These needs will not disappear. Eventuall y you’ll you’ll have to take 100% responsibility, find the courage of Manhood and work on addressing this need. Get creative. Put your mind to it. For as long as you watch porn and ignore your REAL  NEEDS the worse the problem gets. Fact: You You cannot avoid it forever. You need this real need to make you HAPPY. When I worked this out I finally had the focus to heal myself naturally of my chronic premature ejaculation problem. Life is great now.

3. Porn drains your vital male energy or ‘Jing’.  For two thousand years the Taoists still believe that sex is more than just physical and emotional intimacy. Sex falls into the sacred realm of spiritual practice. During sex couples share their their ‘essence’ or Jing. The sharing of essences allows couples to harmonise, cultivate and circulate sexual energy.

Consider the genetic potential of your ‘come’ after orgasming to porn; 

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Each one of these sperm ejaculate could conceivabl y become a human if it had equal measure of female eggs to fertilise before they died. If each sperm cell could fertilise a female egg YOU could co-create a human life force equivalent to the population of the United States in one single ejaculation!

The immediate renewal of sperm requires the body to draw from energy sources, draining our jing in the process. pr ocess. Using pornography to orgasm will contribute to you feeling less powerful, decisive and alert. Overtime the drain on your energy sources will lead to ongoing ailments and stop you being a legend, a warrior and True Man in real life. 4. Porn stops great sex. Watching porn on any device involves using your eyes to feed the brain which makes us feel ‘happy’ (it’s ( it’s just a stimulated chemical reaction though). though). When I have multi-orgasmic sex with my partner I r arely open my eyes. Because when using porn, the only sense of touch is touch is your own hand on your penis, while you continually reinforce the need for visual stimulation. When the time comes for you to PERFORM FOR REAL you are all at sorts. You don’t connect and satisfy your partner because you forgot to nurture and focus your; 

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Sense of touch  –  to  to stimulate every skin cell on her body with the caress of your hand (plus you are more likely to ejaculate prematurel y as you will become over-aroused due to all your sense of touch being overloaded).  by focussing and connecting on your slow inhalation and exhalation Breath –  by you can control your arousal and give you and your partner multiple orgasms.

If you are wandering why you have lots of sexual partners but can’t make a relationship last try having more genuine and fulfilling sex the FIRST time (hint: If you build up intimacy over half a dozen dates, your first sexual intimacy with each other will be a million times better).

5. Porn lets you believe you are in control. I could write my second book on this. If there is anything in life that sets s ets us up for pain and failure it’s having a  perceived sense of control. I say perceived say perceived because  because all form of control is in the eye of the beholder. It’s your perception even though in reality the control is  probably all in your head! That’s why school children mess up and civilians overthrow their dictator. Accessing porn online online puts you in control of every last detail. Multiple tabs in your your browser get you to choose the perfect model, model, vagina, setting, duration, orgasm.  Never forget that the essence to life is surrendering to the moment. In real sex you surrender to your partner’s br eath eath that slowly increases and decreases as you change positions and level of arousal. In real sex you surrender to the moment,

you respect your partner and nurture her arousal, you serve you  serve her. You put her  sexual needs first. Make her feel safe, loved and protected. You surrender to these signals and act upon them them moment by moment. There is no no rush. Then you both have AMAZING sex. 6. Porn changes your brain. I could write my third book on this. If you introduce a new belief to the brain with emotion every day for 30 days it creates a new neural pathway in the brain. This is called neuroplasticity. neuroplasticity. Furthermore, if you you continue this positive reinforcement for 90 days it becomes your primary  behaviour or thought thought pattern. This is an awesome opportunity for good for good habits (it’s how I cured my premature ejaculation problem) but a real pain for negative habits (it’s how I got hooked to pornography). Every time you view porn, messages are sent to the brain which rele ase a group of  pleasant sex hormones and endorphins. We get a good good feeling from this rush. After continued use of porn, the hypothalamus (the part of the brain responsible for monitoring and regulating the balance of the brain) padlocks feelings of arousal with  pornography use. This binding relationship becomes even more tightly locked the more you repeat the experience. So after 30 days days you are in the danger zone of creating change in your brain. The stress and strain of daily life disrupts our internal balance and it is the job of the hypothalamus to recall the substance (nicotine, alcohol, sex) to restore balance. That’s why after a hangover, or when tired or after a long day I felt like reaching out to  pornography to prop prop me up again. The strength of my hypothalamus hypothalamus frequently overpowered my willpower. The hypothalamus will work very hard to get you to give it the desired substance and so your experience quickly becomes a habit and over a few months an addiction. 7. Porn will keep you single. See number 4. 8. Porn will make you single. You say: ‘My partner knows I watch porn occasionally’ …I say: one day she will work something out. Instead of thinking; “Joey watches pornography, I know lots of guys do, so I guess that makes it ok, even though I don’t like the thought of it” She will eventually (and that day will come) be in enough pain to find the courage to say; “Joey is still watching porn, it’s not ok and I don’t have to put up with it”. Then there will be pain. She may leave you. Either way, your your goal to use porn to make you you happy will not help overcome the pain of what is to come. I know. It happened to me. This post is not a bashing on the morals of pornography. I’m not religious. I don’t think you are a sinner for having viewed/ing porn, nor was I for all those years… but I’m sorry this blog title was incorrect, there is no link between happiness and porn. Sex, love and happiness happiness are totally real and completely completely unscripted. Porn is totally unreal and completely scripted. Subscribe to receive the next Back to Basics for Manhood series straight to your inbox.

Back -To-Basics #2 Premature Ejaculation I owe all my recent personal growth to the 14 years of pain and shame of my chronic  premature ejaculation problem. I get to say that now, now, because I fought harder than I ever fought for anything in my life to beat it. Before that I all owed my premature ejaculation  problem to completely break me, my relationships and finally a marriage. But out of the darkness comes the light. Taking ownership of premature ejaculation is the end of the painful journey. Only good things can follow. You just have to be ready to commit to overcoming it on your own.

Hiding behind quick-fix premature ejaculation cures I spent 14 years suffering premature ejaculation. Not once during that ti me did I take ownership of the problem. Sure I tried: 

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Considering it was a genetic disposition. Perhaps it wasn’t my fault, had I inherited this problem? Believing I would one day grow out of it Blaming my partner for not going slow enough during sex Blaming my partner for not having enough sex to overcome PE Wasting time halfheartedly experimenting with quick fixes I had researched online.

Whilst these activities distracted dis tracted me and gave me some perception of control i n over a decade of despair, all of them sought to REMOVE blame and responsibility from ME. The flawed message I was telling myself was “Your premature ejaculation is not your problem, you are just a victim to some undiagnosed circumstance, you just haven’t work out what is causing it yet”. This message allowed me to cowardly carry on living in the pain of premature ejaculation because deep down it was easier. Easier than feeling the discomfort of change and the fear of the unknown. Despite my pain, I was not man-enough to summons the courage and determination needed to confront my fears. So I continued to throw myself into a list of faile d quick-fix experiences such as:         

 Nasal spray (this is another blog post) Stop-start method during sex Bathing my penis in hot/cold water prior to sex Trying to masturbate for longer Viewing lots of porn to increase my arousal threshold Ejaculating before sex Trying to get an erection and resume sex again aft er orgasming prematurely Wearing two condoms Kegal/Pelvic floor exercises

Quick-fixes Quick-fixes don’t work. Save yourself the hassle. They just keep you distracted and allow you to hide a little bit longer. Hiding from the moment when you are finally in enough pain to find the courage to say; “ Premature ejaculation is my proble The only person problem m , created and controlled by me. The who can fix it is me.”

Taking Ownership of Your Life When you realise that only YOU have the answer, something amazing happens within. A warrior spirit begins to emerge. In the search s earch for answers you dig deep into your inner-self and shed light on your own issues that have contributed to your premature ejaculation problem. It has to start with wit h this. This examination is a journey of personal discovery that doesn’t involve touching your penis or thinking about s ex. It is a personal journey to create some freedom from your current situation of premature ejaculation. It is giving yourself unbridled permission to let your creativity flow as you literally clean literally clean out your closets, spring clean your living space and tak e ownership of every square inch of the kingdom you purvey. Let the creativity guide you, go on a walk, draw a picture on scrap paper, c olour in a mandala off the internet, paint your outside steps or bench, carve a smiley face into a  piece of driftwood or learn to play the ukulele ukulele (it takes 5 minutes to learn a simple tune). It doesn’t matter what you do but do something different that nurtures your soul. Something that buys your head and heart some space and freedom. This attitude to attending to the external  and  and tangible is vital practise to get you in the rhythm of attending the things you own. This is the act of taking ownership. taking ownership.

Taking ownership of Yourself Then shift the practice of attending to and nurturing the things you own to own to attending to and nurturing yourself  nurturing yourself , the internal, the innerself . The innerself is all of your ideas, thoughts, feelings and memories that you keep locked inside because a long time ago you experienced shame sharing them in the outside world. Have faith and start living how you really think and feel. Through space, creativity and freedom the innerself will emerge. Use a journal to write down the things that arise. They may not be right, reasonable or make any sense but it doesn’t matter, you may not ever read them again. J ust like you cleaned your physical kingdom, now is the time to clean your metaphysical kingdom, the things that t hat you thought existed within you but can’t be seen.

Being in complete control of your erection has to be earned back  After you have taken control of your physical and inner kingdom, your innerself will be closer to the surface than it has been for years. It takes a lot of courage, strength,

determination and humility to just get to this point. Not many people do. But without these qualities you cannot overcome premature ejaculation. How can you? 

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How can you be a man in complete control of his erection without strength of mind? How can you avoid the pitfalls of  o f  over-consumption  over-consumption of pornography without the determination to seek love and connection at a deeper and fulfilling level? How can you make long-lasting, passionate sex/love to your sexual partner without the courage to surrender to the moment? Without humility how do you expect her to feel safe enough to be a complete women in your arms?

The good news is you don’t have to go out and find these qualities. You were born with them and they are inside you right now waiting to be untapped. The qualities growing within you are the qualities of a Warrior in the making, a Warrior who can control his ejaculation and nurture passionate love with a partner.

Thanks for reading! Please email me ANY comments or questions –  questions  –  I  I love to hear from my readers. Email me to subscribe for further updates on my book, Going The Distance. Guy. Next post; Back to Basics #3: The Warrior Blueprint.

If you master this, you grow in self-esteem and add value to your relationship with the world. Sounds profound, but everything in life comes back to the individual  –  you.  you. So with YOU it must start. If you don’t master this you lose. You will will have decided to give all your power away to everything and everyone else. Luckily for you, you get to choose.

We own the wrong stuff. Owning ‘stuff’ is a high priority is modern life. The need to have a girlfriend, wife, sex, own a home, nice car, nice clothes or the latest phone is a compelling one. This need motivates all of us to do what it takes to meet these needs (e.g. stay in a job that doesn’t serve you or your family, buy cheaper items of food where there are other wise healthier alternatives or compromise your values to impress someone). s omeone). But how much time do you, we, I, put into owning ourselves? Do we recognise the need to own our health, finances, self-esteem, relationships, prejudices, beliefs and values? If we don’t recognise the compelling need to address these facets of ‘self’ then there will be no motivation to improve upon them. For many, it’s easier to buy something tangible to address a ‘need’ than to work a bit harder and look in the mirror and address that need from within.

How much ownership is enough? Ownership of self simply means means taking responsibility. Ownership requires standing up straight, looking at yourself in mirror –  mirror  –  straight  straight into your own eyes –  eyes  –  and  and accepting that you and only you have the power to change anything. A surprising number of the  people you know or or work with do not like doing this. It’s hard and uncomfortable. It’s easier to pretend that circumstances are out of your control.

 But how can I take ownership of things are are out of my control? control? I can’t contr control ol who who hir hi r es and fi res me! I can’t control who decides to love me! I can’t control colds, flu and disease! Yes you can. You can take ownership of everything. Start by taking ownership of the fact that you always had a choice. You had a choice: • about what city you chose to live and work in. • of what to study. • of the rent/mortgage you have to pay. • about what time you got up this morning and what time you went to bed. • what you said and did today and what you put in your mouth (people hate this choice!). • to use google to research the health and animal cruelty c ruelty ramifications of everything you  put in your body. body. The best news is; you will always have a choice until the day you die. This is called ownership of self. This is taking responsibility. You have a choice of what you say to people. You can say something that is polite,

helpful or generous. You can warn someone if they are threatening your physical or emotional safety. You have a choice of how you deal with conflict; you can let conflict consume your life until one die you are so uneasy with conflict that you get dis-ease. Or you can deal with conflict efficiently and effectively effectivel y by taking ownership of the role you played in the conflict and talking to that person about it. You have the choice to resolve the problem or walk away. You have the choice.

This is Life! Sometimes the negative choice is the eas y option. Especially when you are used to living this way. It’s easier to eat frozen chips than make your own. It’s easier to stay at home and and watch porn instead of nurturing yourself with some exercise or creativity. But when you want to start making better choices, like owning the role you play in your current health and relationship situation, it can c an feel like the positive choice is too hard. This is the struggle. This is a good sign! Something good will happen now. The struggle is the tension caused by thinking consciously. This is the mental st rain of using your brain to take ownership of your life. This struggle is the esse nce of living. This is life.

Why should I take ownership of my life if its a struggle? Isn’t it easier to

 just go along long wi th ever ything?  It gets easier. After 30 days da ys the decisions become much more natural –  natural –  you  you have more energy because of the better health and lifest yle choices you have made. After 90 days of conscious decision making your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health will  be vibrating with positive energy, the energy that makes it easier to make the right right decision for you. When you are making the right decisions and taking ownership of your life, those around you benefit to. Humanity benefits. You ra diate health, love and humanity. humanit y. Because of your power to make conscious decisions and take ownership of your life you radiate a warrior spirit. People will know you for the man who speaks his own truth. People will respect you for having the courage to stand up straight, use eye contact and express how you feel. People will want to be close to you as they know you own how you you feel, they will know you do not judge them because you have compassion and humanity. You had it all along. You just lost it for a while there. That man was me.

Thanks for reading. I’m not the master m aster here when it comes to advice, just the student. These are my musings, these are the thoughts that inspire me everyday to become a better man, partner and father.  My shift in consciousness made life have so much more meaning for me. Please email me to comment on anything –  anything  –  this  this blog is nothing without a community discussion.

HappinessManhoodMasculinity HappinessManhood Masculinity

My daily practice As mentioned in Going The Distance book, over several months I undertook various  practices gleaned from my research in order for my health to become more balanced mentally, emotionally and physically. The reward from my commitment to these  practices was in becoming a sustainable, multi-orgasmic man. When I truly experienced the success of my practice, I grew spiritually. As long as I believed in myself, m yself, I really did believe that anything an ything was possible, and through visualisation and physically doing the practices, I made my conscious thoughts of sustainable s ex a reality. reality. The following attributes are required for any daily practice:      

Vision Commitment Patience Humility Love Courage

Courage underpins all of the above characteristics. W ithout courage, you are the boy who is waiting for permission to become a warrior. All great people who have accomplished amazing feats have the courage to believe in a… …Vision

It takes courage to have a vision visi on to change a situation and face the unknown or the unfamiliar. Sometimes it is very painful to find our courage and realise our vision. On the path to achieving our vision, we achieve… …Mastery

Without courage, we cannot achieve mastery. Mastery requires commitment to achieve greatness and actualise our full potential. Having the courage to work on weaknesses also requires… …Patience

It takes courage to be patient, the courage to put everything into perspective, to re prioritise what needs to be done, now, today, today, so that it can help achieve future goals. Patience requires faith in the t he process, like sending a letter. The journey to ultimate success is a learning experience of failures and success. To navigate this tumultuous  path requires… …Humility

Times will get tough in pursuit of a goal. It ta kes courage to accept that we are not in control of everything. The only thing we can ever control is our response to the events that arise. When the rug is pulled from under our f eet, as occasionally happens to us all, remember the bigger picture. We are doing this for… …Self -Love -Love

There is nothing courageous about chasing something that boosts our ego. Committing to the daily practice should come from self-love, not measuring ourselves against others. Courage

I suffered for many years because I feared the uncomfortable and unknown feelings that needed to come with change. In the past, I was too scared to feel the pain of accepting accepti ng that my life was in a bad way. wa y. I had lost my sense of self, I was in a marriage that was failing and I could not sustain myself during sex. The day I decided to be courageous and let go of the pain and begin taking the positive steps of m y daily practice, I began to grow. It took courage to let everything go.

The daily practice Timing I made a commitment to complete my daily practice practi ce in the mornings. I still do. In the mornings, our body, mind and spirit are rested and energised. I preferred to have m y afternoons free for leisure activities and downtime.

Yoga Yoga is not just movement. Yoga was a metaphor for my life and m y goal in overcoming premature ejaculation. A flexible body creates a flexi ble mind. Flexible minds manage feelings and arousal and help strengthen self-control. Yoga brought discipline to my day. The practice of yoga taught me not to rush, which I transfer red to sustaining at sex. Yoga taught me to breathe slowly and calmly through difficult  positions and to feel strong when I used used my breath. I transferred my awareness of breath to help me stay in total control of my arousal during sex. Yoga raised my awareness of my sensory nervous system. I learned to notice the different temperatures around my  body, areas where I was tense, areas of my body that were weak. I raised my awareness of emotions, touch and sound instead of relying solely on visual stimuli. This helped me remain calm and connected to my partner and myself during sex. I stuck to just a handful of basic poses combined in one called ‘Salute to the Sun’. This is a beginner’s routine, which I still love l ove to do each day. You can find many great videos on YouTube to suit your level of fitness and time availability.

Mindfulness meditation Mindfulness is just breathing and being aware of the moment. It is simply connecting with your breath, just like yoga but without the physical movements. Mindfulness is a very important part of the daily practice. Mindfulness meditation calms the mind. It helped me control my fears when I was preparing myself to have sex again for the first time since my previous embarrassing premature orgasm episode. Not only did it calm the negative thoughts, it helped me hear my positive thoughts reinforcing my  belief that I could become a sustainable lover.

Diaphragmatic breathing –  breathing –  the  the belly breath There is a regular way to breathe –  breathe  –  short,  short, shallow gasps which most of us do to survive, and then there is a better way to breathe. Belly breaths interrupt the unconscious  breathing rate and send a message to the brain that we are calm. You can consciously treat your body to a healing experience by taking a slow deep  breath to a count of four and slowly release it for four counts. Do that now… Congratulations, you have just taken a belly breath. You made a conscious decision for your brain to activate all the muscles and organs required for a breath. I normally do three large belly breaths at the start of my mindfulness meditation and then let my breathing resume to normal. I refined some mindfulness meditation techniques to develop a unique mindset required for sustainable sex in two distinct ways: 1. Healing and positive mindfulness affirmations 2. Calming the mind through mindfulness

Healing and positive mindfulness affirmations –  affirmations  –  think  think it, feel it, be it! The mind doesn’t know what is real and what is fantas y, which explains why sometimes we cry during movies or get angry at characters in TV shows even though it’s all makemake  believe. Affirmations have the same effect. When we say an affirmation we assert that something we say is actually true, we believe and believe and feel   feel  that  that it has already happened. Using my journal, I followed a selection of healing affirmations at the beginning  and  and end  of  of every mindful meditation practice;  

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 I am enjoying a relaxing and deep sexual experience with my partner.  I am enjoying a fulfilling and intimate sex life where I last at least ## mins or even longer.  I am celebrating being an intimate and and strong lover and I am able able to control my arousal during sex.

By saying these affirmations aloud and with emotion, I was able to feel them genuinely. At first, it is hard to say them aloud. I felt very self-conscious, but be assured that repetition helps reprogram your subconscious.

Breath awareness meditation The focus of breath awareness meditation is to follow the movement of the breath through the body. You can practise with background noise, but ensure all electronic devices are turned to silent. Using a timer with a pleasant alert tone is helpful.

Visualisation A mantra or affirmation on its own is not sufficient for success. In addition to the other  practices, you must have been through the the long, sustainable, intimate sexual experience mentally using visualisation. I found out how powerful visualisation was by accident. With my phallic talisman placed between my legs I would visualise my penis absorbing all its timeless energy and wisdom. I would clasp my phallic talisman between my forefinger and thumb, gently stroking the cold hard surface as if it was my penis, which  possessed the eternal power to sustain at sex no matter how aroused I got. With my eyes closed, I would visualise a naked, gentle female on all fours, leaning over me as her long, soft hair cascaded over her shoulders. I would visualise the curves of her hips and her soft round breasts as I ran m y hands over them, feeling their nurturing coolness. I would taste the coolness of her saliva and the sweetness of her delicate  breath as we kissed passionately. Gently she would tilt her hips and slide onto me. Sometimes I would lie for up to half an hour in this moment with my erection coming and going, using my breath to circulate my sexual energy. These visualisation sessions made me radiate with sexual energy, and I would feel a s if I had genuinely sustained myself during an authentic sexual moment, even though I hadn’t been there in realit y. Despite my desire to sustain from ejaculating, eja culating, I would sometimes fall past the point of no return in ejaculatory orgasm. I never quite knew the right thing to do. If I had lasted that long in an aroused state without ejaculating, s hould I orgasm? I had been ejaculating since puberty and it felt very odd not to ‘finish’. However, I had a nagging feeling that right now, in this time of my transformation, it would pay to go against the grain of what I considered ‘normal’ or ‘right’. Having read what the Taoist monks  believed about conserving male sperm and nurturing nurturing our powerful jing, I wanted to try not to ejaculate every time I became so aroused. I wanted to keep myself accountable during this important time.

Practice Everyday For One Month Its not called a Daily Dail y Practice for nothing! If you introduce a new belief to the brain with emotion every day for 30 days it creates a new neural pathway in the brain. If we then continue this positive reinforcement for 90 days, it becomes our primary behaviour or thought pattern –  pattern  –  it  it actually becomes our automatic response. r esponse. Curing premature

ejaculation is totally within your grasp. It’s up to you to make it #1 on your list of t hings to do EACH DAY. Thanks for reading. I’m not the master here when it comes to advice, j ust the student. These are my musings, these are the thoughts that inspire me everyday to become a better man, partner and father.  My shift in consciousness made life have so much more meaning for me. P lease lease emai emaill me to comme comment nt on anythi anythi ng  –  thi  thiss blo blogg i s nothing nothing

without without a com community uni ty di di scussi on.

I am frequently asked by my readers how to cure ej aculation naturally. There are many facets to the cure but overwhelmingly the first step s tep is controlling our unconscious mind. Our unconsciousness mind is preoccupied with the tension between the fear of suffering  premature ejaculation whilst being consumed with sexual desire. Both are completely natural feelings in response to our surroundings. In this two-part blog series I will share my experience of curing premature ejaculation with a simple and quick mindfulness and  breath awareness meditation. By committing 5 minutes a day to stop and listen to your breath and heartbeat you can learn to ‘flip’ these distracting thoughts and create a mind of quiet confidence and stillness. Then sustainable sex without premature ejaculation will follow. Creating a quiet mind is an ongoing process that is frequently called Mindfulness meditation.

Introduction to Mindfulness meditation Mindfulness is just breathing and being aware of the moment. It is simply connecting with your breath, just like yoga but without the physical movements. Mindfulness is a very important part of the daily practice. Mindfulness meditation is a conscious act to watch over the subconscious activities of our brain and mind. During my meditation, I picture my mind as a sailboat. The sail boat travels at great speed across bodies of water. That’s its it s job. Our job during mindfulness is not to stop the vessel from sailing. You are the helmsman, at ease at the helm enjoying the pure moment. You have the power to steer the sailboat. When W hen you notice you are in troubled waters (listening to your inner critic for example), you have the choice to navigate into the storm or away from it. You can make that choice. choice. We then continue to enjoy each moment of the journey, staying journey,  staying present  until  until we notice the next change in conditions. My meditations nowadays are continually interrupted by thoughts of work, friends or family. Lots of them. When I notice I have been distracted dist racted from my practice, I simply acknowledge, I acknowledge, I have been thinking about work  work  and  and take my attention back to the rise and fall of my belly. Some days I have to steer m y mind away from many disruptive thoughts, whereas other times my thoughts only disrupt me a few times. At the end of every practice, no matter how distracted I was, I always feel calmer in mind and body. Shortly, I will list some of the mindfulness techniques te chniques in the daily practice but first, fir st, a word about the breath. Mindfulness meditation calms the mind. It helped me control my fears when I was  preparing myself to have sex again for the first time since my previous embarrassing  premature orgasm episode. Not only did it calm the negative thoughts, thoughts, it helped me hear my positive thoughts reinforcing my belief that I could become a sustainable lover. If Mindfulness meditation makes sense to you take the next step now in Part Two of the Mindfulness PE Cure Series and learn how to control your arousal and become a sustainable lover and man. Thanks for reading and as always, email or contact or  contact me f  me f or or any questions or advice on achieving your potential to become a powerful and sustainable man. My own journey with curing life-long life-long PE is chronicled in my book ‘ Going Going The Distance’ by Guy Fitter.

n Part 2 of the Mindfulness Premature Ejaculation Cure Series we look at a simple  breathing technique for connecting with our our breath to calm the mind. Connecting with the breath helps achieve your goal of sustainable s ex and avoid premature ejaculation. Build breath awareness meditation into your daily to help you prepare for longer lasti ng sex. All the daily practices are included to help you acknowledge and embrace your emotions, desires and fears so that you can concentrate on having total control of your orgasm, avoiding premature ejaculation and of course, enjoying intimate sex with your  partner! As the nervous system calms in response to slower, deliberate breathing, physical arousal calms down also. This has obvious but very profound benefits in controlling sexual arousal and becoming a sustainable lover.

You can consciously treat your body to a healing experience by taking a slow deep breath to a count of o f four and slowly release it for four counts. Do that now… Congratulations, you have just taken a belly breath. You made a conscious decision for your brain to activate all the muscles and organs required for a breath. If you rest your hand on your belly on the inhale, you should feel your belly expand as your diaphragm tightens and moves downwards. This increases the capacity of your chest and lets your lungs expand. The intercostal muscles (between the ribs) also help in the same way. Healing and calming belly breathes can be used at any time to lower your arousal. You can include the power power of your breath in your daily practice as part of a…

Breath awareness meditation The breath awareness meditation will not only lower your arousal and calm your body to prolong sexual intimacy and avoid premature ejaculation. Additionally breath awareness meditation will improve your ability to manage all asp ects of daily life and enrich your level of fulfillment thus fueling your amazing life potential. The focus of breath awareness meditation is to follow the movement of the breath through the body; 1. Lie flat on the floor, using a rug or yoga mat to cushion your body. Use a thin pillow to support your neck and the back of your knees to reduce pressure on your lower back. 2. Take three belly breaths with the eyes closed. 3. Say aloud four affirmations to set your intention for your practice. 4. Let your breathing return to normal. Focus on the edges of your nostrils. Feel the cool air entering and the warm, moist air leaving. Feel your heart beating.

5. Stay in this calm state, focusing f ocusing on the inhalation and exhalation for the duration of your practice. It is completely acceptable to become distracted. Remember the analogy of the helmsman of the sailboat; when you realise you have become distracted with a thought, simply acknowledge it and return to your breath. Finish the practice. Do not abandon ship. 6. When your meditation time is complete, become more aware of your surroundings, surroundings, noticing the energy coming back into your hands and feet, and then gently opening the eyes. 7. Repeat aloud the same four affirmations that began the practice. 8. Complete the session by taking three final complete breaths, saying the word ‘Aum’ or ‘Om’ on the out breath.

Strategies for quietening the mind! Sitting down to meditate takes courage. You have taken the time to stop moving, but your mind will continue to do what it does best: think. So don’t panic if your practices are distracted by thoughts. I used these strategies strat egies to help me quieten my mind during meditation.

Mantra A mantra is simply any word or phrase that will help relax you. It is done repetitively with the breath. Mantras are mostly mostl y repeated internally, but you can say a mantra aloud if you choose. The word ‘Om’ or ‘Aum’ is a traditional mantra used on the exhalation. This may suffice on its own. If you wish to use a diffe rent word on the inhalation, you may like to say something simple such as ‘and’ or ‘calm’. Thanks for reading and as always, email or contact or  contact me f  me f or or any questions or advice on achieving your potential to become a powerful and sustainable man. My own journey with curing life-long life-long PE is chronicled in my book ‘Going The Distance’ by Guy Fitter. Sign-up for priority sale priority  sale release notification and blog updates. updates.

Everyone saw it coming but them. Sometimes relationships spiral down publicly but the couple hang on despite the obvious; they were both full of resentment and fear. The relationship started off great but eventually eventuall y it became a far cry from a fulfilling, f ulfilling, vibrant and healthy life. Sometimes it can be difficult to find the right balance between;  

Exploring our personal pursuits  Nurturing the intimate relationship that offers growth

Both offer growth, joy and contentment and both have to fit in to the increasingly small window of opportunity opportunity that appears between between work and sleep! And herein lies struggle or tension. To maintain a healthy relationship we must accept that this struggle to manage the ‘growth of self’ and the ‘growth of relationship’ is also the essence of life. This is  because the courage and presence required to notice the evolution of of both requires a sense of vulnerability. In all relationships at some point or another, struggle or tension will arise. This is usually because the relationship dynamic has changed. What was familiar  was  familiar  is  is now unfamiliar . What was expected  has  has now become the unexpected . As humans we like stability. The br ain ain doesn’t naturally cope well with change.

 gr ow  or In this struggle to adopt the new dynamic, relationships either gro  or die At worst the individuals become resentful of each other as they desperately cling to the  past expectations. The past was organised, safe, expected. We became the past, the routine became our identity. identity . Challenges to this past way of operating are re ceived as  personal attacks that seemingly disrespect the very fabric of the individual. Individuals Individuals fight back to changes with phrases such as “How dare you dare you….. ….. to me!” me!” But in every raincloud lies a rainbow. Time for a Heart Talk.

When the struggle becomes apparent, couples who are used to feeling vulnerable and intimate will have a heart talk. They share how they are currently feeling about the situation. It can be hard to articulate what they are feeling at first and they may get it wrong, but it always opens up the floor for more sharing. These conversations are always goal orientated; what is interrupting us from leading a fulfilling, vibrant and healthy life.

It takes courage to listen. Listening requires just as much vulnerability and courage as sharing your feelings. Usually both couples get the benefit of seeing the other person’s perspective. They get to experience compassion and empathy. This gives them the insight and motivation to

celebrate the growth in their partner. Both partners realise the growth and make accommodations for new ideas, perspectives and routines. Relationships like these grow and never die. Through this exercise both partners deepen their level of trust. So this week, look for an opportunity to connect with your partner. Make a point to celebrate personal growth. Make the notion of ‘change’ a welcome fe ature of your relationship, in this space of acceptance relationships soar to new heights. Up here we find joy. Up here we are happy. Next post: How to deal with negative changes in the relationship.

I learned my mistakes my mistakes early on in life and now coach other men to achieve relationship and sexual success to lead a life worth celebrating. Contact me today for help or advice on sex or relationships.

“Have you ever considered that you may have a fear of intimacy?” a intimacy?” a therapist asked me many years ago. I hadn’t. And so began my journey into living the richest human experience imaginable. Understanding Types of Intimacy

There are different types of intimacy i ntimacy but for the purposes of this short post, lets focus on the three that can cause the most confusion in intimate relationships;   

Physical Emotional Sexual

What is intimacy? Intimacy is the act of expression. For relationships to thrive, thrive, and not just survive just  survive,, there must be intimacy. That is why some relationships simply ‘survive’ without intimate communication. Some people find that having an emotionally distant relationship with their partner is as good as it i t gets. More than likely this is same emotional intimacy that they grew up with in their family their  family..

Hence, this feeling becomes so familiar, so familiar, and why change can be so scary. Intimacy for most is very a unfamiliar experience, it is to scary initiate intimacy which is quite literally saying; “into-me“into-me- see”  see”

If couples learned to express themselves in intimacy they would build their self-esteem. Self-esteem gives one confidence to nurture a dee per level of love and understanding which will further enrich their own life and their relationship (and sex life) as a result. The act of expression can seem abstract abstra ct to many, but once you get used to expressing yourself you will find a more fulfilling life than you could ever imagine. Emotional Intimacy Emotional Intimacy is a need to express our feelings, in ess ence stating your feelings

involves the words: ‘ I feel…’  followed  followed by a single word i.e. I feel angry, sad, worried, shame, happy. Feelings are not needs or needs or wants. You wants. You can still express yourself intimately by expressing a need . ‘I need’  refers  refers only to basic needs such su ch as shelter or love. ‘ I need to beer’ or ‘I need holiday’  is  is not a genuine need which may come as a surprise to some! ‘I want’  refers to anything else that is not a basic human need. The sharing of feelings in emotional intimacy satisfies the human need to bond with another in the fullest expression of who we are, wi thout hiding behind our usual  persona. Emotional intimacy sometimes (but not always) leads to… Physical Intimacy Physical intimacy is our need to feel physical contact with another human organism. This is a basic human need just like food, water, time, safety, space. As men we forget our partner’s needs for physical intimacy and sometimes end up working hard to fix things verbally instead of offering a hug! Sometimes as men we forget that we need physical intimacy to. Other t ypes of physical intimacy include holding hands, kissing, caressing and cuddling. Sometimes (but not always) physical intimacy leads to… Sexual Intimacy Sexual intimacy is our longing for physical intercourse with another. It is a yearning for an intense physical experience where we drop our barriers and expose ourselves for the human organism that we are. Sometimes this yearning can exist spontaneously, frequently however, emotional and physical intimacy lays a comfortable foundation for sex.

Sexual intimacy is a bombardment of textures, tastes, sounds and of course, is visually stimulating. Some humans enjoy a quick session of sexual intimacy, perhaps even leaving their clothes on or avoiding kissing and eye contact. As humans we try to trust our instincts about when we need sexual intimacy but we don’t always get it right. Many pursue sex when there is another genuine need that is requiring to be met (e.g. emotional/physical intimacy). When we do get it right, sex can lead to something deeply nurturing and satisfying… Making Love During love-making, partners are willing to surrender their insecurities and trust fully in the person they are having sex with. Making love requires both partners to give up their sense of control and experience true vulnerability without fear of j udgment or shame.

Love-making is meditation where the thoughts of the moment pass fleetingly by as the human is immersed in the sensory waterfall of the sexual experience. It is in i n this melting moment of surrender, appreciation, love, trust and vulnerability that lovemaking becomes a timeless meditation. Where sex can last indefinitely and multiple orgasms are experienced by both partners. Everyone can get to this experience but it does require effort to be willing to experience fear and vulnerability.

Why bother if it is i s scary? Self-expression is a basic human need. Intimate expression of our feelings using words or touch benefits both people. I love fearlessly now, now, I have recognised my need to express myself. Self-expression helps both people. Frequently as a partner i n an intimate relationship I can tell you that being open to experience another’s expression is still a very human and intimate experience too. Intimate expression honors the bodies  NEED for emotional release which builds our self-confidence and leads to a truly fulfilling life, what’s not to like about that!?

I had been underwater without air for minutes. I could hear men sa ying to check my  pulse and call an ambulance, but I was totally fine. I held my breath underwater for 4 minutes and 10 seconds then came up for air. Earlier that morning I had joined surfers, Australian Nav y Rescue Team, lifeguards and spear-fisherman on a free-diving course at the local pool. Free-diving involves holding holding your breath underwater rather than using breathing apparatus used by regular divers. That morning when we got in the pool we did a controlled breath time underwater to see what our limit was without without any training. Whilst others came up for air after 30-40 seconds I still managed to stay sta y underwater for 3 minutes 30 seconds. I had never done this before and was really surprised of my m y ability to stay calm and hold my breath underwater. This skill is totally attributable to m y daily practice of simple yoga and meditation. After some simple techniques I was able to add another 40 seconds to my time underwater. I had always been interested in the power of my own breath since curing my chronic  premature ejaculation using holistic methods such as controlled breathing techniques, meditation, yoga and neurolinguistic programming. It is now my calling to show other men the way to cure premature ejaculation and enjoy multi-orgasmic sex. Fortunately for anyone else wishing to use controlled breathing to heal their body or cure premature ejaculation, you DON’T have to learn to hold your breath! You just have to breath consciously. Conscious Breathing to Reduce Stress, Anxiety and Premature Ejaculation

As humans we have a gift we rarel y use. A gift so precious it can cure;      

Poor sleep  No energy Weight gain Sexual dysfunctions High blood pressure Anxiety



Pain

So how can you breath consciously and receive these benefits? The answer is simple. Consciously take control of your breathing by inhaling air into your diaphragm so that your abdominal’s expand, rather than the normal short and shallow breaths that feed your upper chest cavity.

Conscious Breathing Techniques (Abdominal and Diaphragmatic Breathing) Due our busy lifestyles and technological distractions we never give ourselves  permission to stop and take a conscious breath, we are literally rushing unconsciously through the day. This leads to stress and anxiety in the majority of the western  population. For those who do decide to heal their body themselves, using a conscious breathing technique soon becomes a life enhancing experience far be yond the initial need to cure an illness. In addition to healing the body, conscious breathing heals the mind by giving us stillness to become aware of ourselves and takes us into a spiritual realm real m where all the rushing and worry no longer serves us. This stillness soon creeps into everyday ever yday life and one day you notice you find it easy to tap into some conscious breathing throughout the day. At this point, as with me, conscious breathing literally replaces your need for coffee, nicotine, alcohol, sex/porn or sex/porn or whatever it is you reach out to when times get tough. When you reach this stage people are drawn to your calm composure. You have time to think and be yourself. Your confidence to deal with every situation soars. You become a real man; 

When you utilise conscious breathing during sex you can enjoy multiple nonejaculatory orgasms with your partner and control when you want to finish.

Who doesn’t want a life like that!?

Psychologists tell us that 90% of our behaviour is habitual. From the moment you wake up until you go to sleep, you are literally doing hundreds of things the exact same wa y every single day. During the time you have suffered Premature Ejaculation, you may have determined a set of thoughts and beliefs of stress, shame and embarrassment that comes with prolonged Premature Ejaculation. These negative thoughts thoughts are unconscious self-defeating behaviour patterns that put a handbrake on achieving the long-lasti ng sex you are capable of enjoying.

The 3 habits for developing your yo ur self-concept and beliefs. 1. Power of Positive Affirmations. It may help you to know that the latest brain resea rch now indicates that with enough positive self-talk and positive visualisation, combined with proper training, coaching and practice, anyone can learn to do almost anything. My clients and I are proof that raising raisi ng your sexual arousal threshold is achievable. The journey to the sex you deserve starts the day you put the past behind you, the day you look firmly into the future with a clear vision of where you want to go. If you want to get results for improving your sexual arousal threshold, you must act as if it is possible in the way you think, talk and move. move. In the Daily Practice you can work on the power of affirmations and visualisation to make your goal of improving your sexual arousal threshold a reality.

2. What others think about you is none of YOUR business. Of course sex takes two people. The memories and opinions of what other  people have said need to be let go. I remember having having a heated argument with an ex- partner,  partner, I was complaining that I didn’t think we were were having enough sex to help me overcome my PE. She S he said that sex wasn’t really that appealing because of my PE. I carried that statement around my neck for a decade. I literally literall y said it to myself over and over again “I am a failure at sex” when the fear of having sex and suffering PE arose. I was telling tellin g myself what was going to happen. I was the worst coach in the world! When I learned that positive that positive habits  habits created positive created positive results,  results, I soon reached my goal of sustainable sex and cured Premature Ejaculation. Ejaculation.

3. Reject Rejection. The choice of what to believe is up to you. Don’t make the mistake I did all those years ago. I assumed my failure at finding f inding a cure meant that a cure for  premature ejaculation was impossible. impossible. It was a self-fulfilling self-fulfilli ng prophecy! As long as I kept believing it was impossible to cure my PE, I was not doing what was necessary to bring about the result of raising my m y sexual arousal threshold.

I waited for 14 years to finally finall y believe in myself. The moment I did I started start ed to get results in raising my sexual arousal threshold at 30 years old. Now I enjoy multiorgasmic sex that nurtures and enriches my life and my relationship. It’s never too late to start.

After finding myself divorced due my inability to harness my ‘libido’ (sex drive) I knew I had learn to channel this powerful force or face a repeat of this relationship disaster. Thus far, my overactive and impulsive libido had led to chronic premature ejaculati on, this inability to truly satisfy my desire for sexual intimacy made my libido even more uncontrollable. I took to viewing lots of porn to help relieve me of this sexual energy.  Needless to say this is not a sustainable way to live and I eventually reached rock  bottom, exhausted, alone and scared. I harnessed my impulsive male libido using journalling of thoughts, meditation and yoga. Meditation allowed me to find stillness in i n the times of strong desire, It was in this stillness I discovered that I wasn’t actually craving sexual intimacy after all, all, I was craving the emotional intimacy that allowed me to express my true self. When I realised this it helped me to channel my strong sexual desire and use that energy to better myself; namely activities of yoga and journal writing. These activities allowed me to  become intimate with myself, I gave myself permission to feel vulnerable in a safe,  private space. It was scary, men aren’t use to being intimate and vulnerable, it feels like we are going to die or something. It was exciti ng to listen to myself instead of running away to sex, drugs or alcohol. The experience of listening to my genuine needs was a revelati on. I became stronger, less numb and instead more vibrant (acknowledging all emotions from happiness to sadness). I didn’t know it was possible, but possible,  but I actually learnt to love myself unconditionally. My old libido was actually an escape, I used the desire of sex to ‘prop’ me up, sex and desire allowed me a break in the numbness and resignation. But now my new energy which was no longer wasted allowed me to be more courageous and decisive. Eventually I was able to hold an intimate conversation with another human being. Then I realised that the journey of becoming courageously intimate and living true to your values was actually the journey to Manhood. It was here I found real love. It was here I discovered that sex is just sex, and that emotional intimacy can only lead to love-making. A big difference. It was here I found I no longer suffered premature ejaculation but instead enjo yed a whole new world of multi-orgasmic love-making.

I don’t believe I would found this amazing life unless I had momentarily interrupted and instead channeled my strong libido using my daily practice. I now want other men to know there is an alternative way to channel their powerful masculinity. Using online coaching I have been astounded by the positive feedback I get from readers of my book and the clients I coach, I could pick the best one but I’ll chose the latest ‘thank you’ email I received and share it verbatim :

I have a really bad habit now. Maybe you read a cool hack or i nspirational lesson but if you talk to me today toda y about how I should I  should do something differently I immediately zone out of the conversation. I have learned the hard way that I live a lot more joyfully and spontaneously by ignoring everyone’s ‘shoulds’ (including my own!). How many times have you been asked or shamed; ‘you should be more sensitive’  yet  yet also found you are shamed by others when you are sensitive? are sensitive? ‘you should harden up mate!’  It’s not just the external ’shoulds’, we all have internal ‘shoulds’ that rule how we exist on a daily daily basis! E.g. ‘I should be honest about how I feel’  and  and then contradict ourselves by saying ‘I should keep my thoughts to myself more often’ ! Trying to abide by the myriad of internal and external ‘shoulds’ is confusing and un authentic. We are left bamboozled with how to express ourselves and instead resort to suppressing our true self to simply survive life’s circumstances.

However surviving is not thriving! As men we need to THRIVE! The ‘shoulds’ are called moral imperatives, imperatives, and as with all morals, society classifies what we do as either ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Examples from my own coaching would be;    

You should sacrifice your own needs for those of others You should not be sexual You should not be rebellious You should not be insecure

If we breach these ‘shoulds’ we either feel internal shame (our inner critic) or external shame (from others). One of the most important tasks when becoming an authentic and courageous man is t o  become aware and dis-mantle the moral imperatives that no longer serve you. I wrote about my journey to destroy all my ‘shoulds’ in my book. my  book. I suggest to my clients that we write down all the ‘shoulds’ that they perceive, believe in or feel persecuted by. By re-evaluating which moral imperatives we can choose to li ve with and which ones to remove we open up our lives to more authentic and fulfilling opportunities of personal growth.

We may choose to keep some ‘shoulds’ but they will be the r esult of us deciding as an autonomous and authentic man that they serve us rather than meekly agreei ng to survive  by societies ‘shoulds’. My calling is supporting men to find their true and authentic self . I believe that the more we can live authentically masculine lives, the more we can offer our partners, families and community. I know my life is awesome since I sorted out my ‘shoulds’!

As humans we are supposed experience a life fi lled with a rich tapestry tapestr y of feelings, emotions and experiences. To engage in these stimuli and experiences we need to exist in the present moment. We are all too aware of the impact that distractions such as phones, TV, smoking or alcohol can have on our ability to engage in the present moment. But what do we know about deflection and how is it different? Whereas distractions can be tangible items, deflection is behaviours that behaviours that seek to avoid feeling the full extent of emotions that emerge in the present. A person who responds to his partner’s question “Do you love me?” with me?”  with “What do you mean by love?”  is just one example. Deflection can be a self-preservation self- preservation mechanism to avoid criticism, it can even save your life in some circumstances such as avoiding propaganda. However deflection usually interrupts the person’s pers on’s awareness of other external or internal stimuli such as love and love and appreciation instead. appreciation instead. In deflection the person doesn’t experience life as they should, they do not reap the full intensity of interactions and eventually may feel a bandoned and alienated. As humans we were not designed to habitually avoid sensation and meaningful impact with the self and others.

The Art of Avoiding Deflection Action Vs Activity

To avoid deflection is to decide to live more authentically. A fun way to get into the habit of living in the present moment is to reflect on how you you spend your time. I find it useful to pause during the day and reflect if my activities are either action or action or activity. Activity

Activity is distraction. Activity is the opposite of action. Activity distracts you from the emergence of your true self. Activity does not reap joy, reap  joy, there may an experience similar to happiness but happiness but this is usually short-lived and unsatisfying. Activity is the minds unconscious habit of ignoring our genuine true needs and authentic expression and keeping them suppressed. For some, distractions may vary from obsessions with social media, TV or shopping. shopping. For others the activities are biting their nails, taking drugs or viewing pornography.  Bottomline;  Bottomline; activity seeks to avoid feelings. Eventually these activities may become addictions as the brains need to avoid the pain of experiencing the true self is more important than anything else. For most people, activities keep you feeling numb. Action

Action is pure. Action is an emergence of movement that se rves to meet your genuine need to be an authentic expression of yourself. Action leads t o joy but  joy but that doesn’t always mean you go there directly. Sometimes action acti on involves ripping the band-aid off first and dealing with some uncomfortable emotions, emotions that nonetheless we are designed to experience fully. Action can be anything! It could be engaging in an intimate conversation with your  partner or it could be acting on impulse and taking a walk on the beach. I was taking action when I was compelled to write my book. my  book.

Deciding to Take Action Meditation or mindfulness is great way to connect with the spiritual and physical self. The physical act of surrendering to the present moment s ends a message to the brain that it is safe to stop. When your body knows that it is safe to let your guard down we relax and leave the state of stress that we have become accustomed to in our busy lives. Only from a state of stillness can c an we begin to get back to ourselves.From here  something amazing always occurs.

As a car owner it is up to me to stay present while driving. Being mindful of hazards gives me the best chance of avoiding sudden accidents. In addition to m y daily habit of  paying attention behind the wheel, wheel, I also make a commitment to get my car serviced by a mechanic every six months. The mechanic is able to fix any wear we ar and tear on the vehicle’s engine, parts or tyres to keep it running efficiently and safely. The service is a kind of of therapy for my car. I believe an element of therapy plays an important i mportant role in curing PE. Therapy doesn’t have to play a major part in the process. Just like your car, therapy can simply simpl y be your six monthly brain service to assist you in relieving and healing your PE problem. While curing my chronic premature ejaculation problem I saw a therapist called Joe. He was great. He was a safe sa fe person to talk to about my PE problem when I was sti ll too terrified to open to anyone else. In fact, just the act of verbalising my fears about premature ejaculation made me fe el more optimistic about my unsustainable situation.

Are You Ready For Change?

The Change Cycle from www.surreycounsellingservice.co.uk

By talking to someone else you can find out how committed to change you actually are. actually are. If you have read my book  my book you’ll you’ll know I spent 14 years PRE-CONTEMPLATING PRE -CONTEMPLATING

changing my premature ejaculation problem, hoping my procrastination would magically heal my PE. 14 years later I finally finall y made the decision that I was going to change myself . I was finally in enough pain to commit to ACTION. I then created my daily practice which helped me change my habits and maintain a sustainable sex life where I was in total control of my orgasm. Therapy can bring to the surface any obstacles that are keeping you in the PRECONTEMPLATION phase. phase. Once these issues are acknowledged they can be replaced and allow you to make committed ACTION to change your unsustainable sex life to one of fulfilling, multi-orgasmic sex.

Are You Prepared for Change?

Change requires being prepared to accept what is out of your control and commit to action that improves your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual health.

This surrender to ‘what is’ requires psychological flexibility. The ACT approach of therapy and coaching supports change by promoting the three core habits; 1. Be present 2. Open up 3. Do what matters The daily practice mentioned in Going in Going The Distance encompasses Distance  encompasses the values of the ACT approach (pronounced ‘act’ ). ). The journaling and mindfulness mindfulness activities develop your ability to contact the present moment and open up to the current situation. The guided visualisations and affirmations promote your commitment to changing your current habits to produce greater psychological flexibilit y. My experience with curing PE proves that psychological flexibility is the key to mastering the control of your orgasm and curing your premature ejaculation problem  permanently.

Don’t Waste Your Money You don’t need to waste money on a fruitless journey of expensive PE quick -fixes quick -fixes such as medications and numbing creams that only prolong your dependence and suffering. All you need is to take action today. Take control of the st eering wheel and do what it takes to live your true values of being a sustainabl e lover, man, husband and human. My  book will tell you how I took action. It may help you to. Contact me and tell me where you are on the change cycle c ycle pictured above or simply email me to make a commitment to accept you are ready to change! Good luck on your journey, sustainable sex is well-within your reach. Best wishes, Guy. P.S Visit my Amazon Author Page for products and special offers