Grow Your Mindset ch-7

 

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Grow Your Mindset Ch.7

Tiffany Hartley Brigham Young University - Idaho FAML 220: Parenting Brother Rarick  July 11, 2020

 

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Praising Style

When I praise others I am in the habit of praising in a fixed mindset. I usually comment on external characteristics not on the process of development or their intrinsic motivations. For example, when a little girl I’m babysitting comes up to me and shows me a cool trick she’s been working I would usually say things like “wow that is really amazing! You are so great at doing  ___” or “wow you are so talented! I don’t think I could do that. Can you show me how?” I asked my brother what the most common form of praise is that I use and he says most of the time I just say “Good job!” He says that most of the time he thinks I say it sarcastically and don’t actually mean it. Although, sometimes I do say it jokingly but they aren’t able to tell when I’m honestly telling them or when I’m joking. I can see how this type of praise could be damaging. One of the main reasons I praised p raised people is because I wanted to help boost their confidence. I didn’t realize that most of the time I do it in a way that is more damaging. I usually  praised them because I wanted to make sure they felt good about themselves. I didn’t realize that it has a negative effect and is damaging for children. Another reason why I praise people so often is because I like receiving praise myself. I have a hard time recognizing my own strengths so I try to help others see theirs. I wouldn’t want to be b e the cause of someone becoming more selfcentered just from what I say to others. I have tried to be more sincere and growth minded in the praise I use. It has been really hard to think of ways to praise someone in a growth minded way. So far it has been really challenging and I haven’t seen any changes in the people I have implemented it with. I think it will take time and practice. I have also tried to praise less and not give unnecessary compliments. On my mission I had a sister living with me in my first area. She was really good aatt giving compliments and praising other people. She focused mostly on unseen traits and was really goo good d

 

3 at encouraging people to try. She would say things like “I really love that you have tried so hard in learning how to ____. I can really see how much you’ve progressed.” She would praise you in a way you felt loved but that you also had a desire to keep trying. I would like to learn how to  praise in a way similar to this. A strategy that I would like to implement in my life are focusing more on the effort they  put into something. I want to help them learn that they can do anything they put their mind to. I have decided to also include asking kids how they feel. I want to help them to think about their actions and why they do some of the things they do. I will say phrases like “you did a really good  job. I am happy you decided to challenge yourself to draw something new. What made you decided to draw the sun like that? You are really improving.” Faster is Better Fallacy

When I was in middle school in high school I had a really hard time believing that I can improve. I figured that everyone was born with innate talents. I had a hard time seeing how  people could improve or learn. I always marveled at the other people that could learn different skills and improve their talents. I did believe that if people peo ple struggled with something they couldn’t improve either. I had a very fixed mindset. While I was on my mission I saw how so many different people could change and grow. I started to apply it to myself and try to see how I could change. I started working towards learning how to be a good go od missionary. After I returned from my mission I stared to fall back into old habits. I kept the belief that others can change but started to believe that I was stuck where I was. For my future career I plan to work as an extension educator. I would be working in the community teaching different classes. I have a hard time believing that I could be good goo d at teaching others.

 

4 In order to improve this mindset I plan to change the way I view progression. I realize that in order to have a growth mindset I should focus on the progression not just on the destination. I should try to find joy in teaching and learning how to teach. One of the biggest challenges that I need to overcome ov ercome is learning how to overcome mistakes. I think it would be  beneficial to learn more about the atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that He is able to provide strength when needed. One thing that is very important to understand is that in o order rder to improve you have to put in effort. It is important to learn how to find joy in the effort and find ways to motivate yourself.